#something something writing something i genuinely enjoy and not something i just think is neat

[the-blaze-empress]

ahahah what if chapter 3 of tmatimry came out like. tomorrow? or something? idk just a silly little idea i had lol.

(yeah it’s happening i wrote another chapter in a night it hasnt even been 20 days since i started this fic and ive got 13.6k words already)

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

I have always admired people who have their one thing. People who care deeply about one highly specific cause, people who have deep knowledge about their one niche interest, people who are really into one particular movie… 

I just think it’s neat! It’s really interesting to hear people talk about their one thing. There’s also so much comfort in the fact that people can find so much happiness and meaning and purpose in something seemingly random! 

Last but not least, it’s also often the people with their one thing who (pardon my language) get shit done. Someone who puts their whole heart into doing their one small thing passionately likely does much more good for the world than someone who tries to constantly give their attention to every single problem everywhere all the time simultaneously. The first one can keep their energy and love for the cause high, the latter probably just ends up burning themselves out. 

… and yet, with all this genuine admiration for people like that: I often judge myself for being a person like that. 

If you wonder what my one thing is, well, you’re looking at it! It’s writing about mental health and wellbeing in the lgbt+ community. I write this blog. I write books with main characters who are lgbt+ and mentally ill or neurodivergent. I do a lot of research on that topic to base my writing on ,and also just for fun. Even with the music or movies or books I enjoy, I seek out that topic or at least I’ll analyze it with that lens… So, according to my very own thoughts I stated above, I should feel like the coolest guy ever! 

But I don’t. I feel embarrassed when people ask about my interests or hobbies. I feel guilty for it not being something you can „turn into a career“. I feel like I’m boring for writing 3 books about the same topic. I feel like I’m stupid for not having multiple passions. I feel like I need to prove my masculinity by having more „male interests“... long story short, I’m being a big old bully to myself about it. 

You may be a „my one thing“ person as well or maybe you’re someone with many different interests, or maybe you are someone who has one thing but the thing changes every few weeks. No matter where you stand, we probably have this in common: we can be really mean towards ourselves over things we wouldn’t judge others for. This may be so common because it’s pretty easy to have a distorted perception of ourselves (after all, we notice every single little thing we think or do or say, while in others we see the bigger picture) or because so many grow up internalizing negative messages about ourselves(but not about others). 

We set impossibly high standards for ourselves that we would never impose on our loved ones - but we should also be our own loved one. After all, you’ll be the person you spend the most time with during your life. Much better for your closest companion to be a friend than a foe. 

So, in this spirit, I’ll try to lead by example: I have my one thing, and that’s super cool of me!! What’s cool about you? 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[fatescaprice]

hello my favourite argenti kisser. it is i. your supreme overlord ^_^ i am here to, very politely, ask for aventurine and robin dating hcs. shambles away miserably. you know who i am. goot bye <3

dating aventurine and robin

content warnings: none

note: hello supreme overlord!!! you can shamble all u want . i will remember . anyways i had a lot of fun writing this :) please accept my humble offering . i hope u enjoy 🫡

Despite his seemingly friendly exterior, AVENTURINE isn’t as easy to get to know as some might assume. He teases, and befriends, and invites, but always keeps people at an arm’s length — for many years this is how he’s lived, and he was wholly under the pretence that he would continue on like this until he died.

Early on in your relationship, it might not feel like you’re even dating at all. He invites you to his fancy IPC parties as a plus one, but gives you about the same amount of attention as everybody else. He asks you about your day, but never talks about himself. It takes him a while to warm up to you — maybe he ends up enchanted watching the way you talk about your passions, or maybe he’s awestruck by the smile you throw his way as you thank him for a gift he got for you. Either way, he falls hard, like a meteor crashing down to earth.

Aventurine’s love language seems like it would be gift-giving, but it’s far too easy to buy you things, he thinks. His time is far more scarce, and therefore far more precious to him. He’ll text you after he clocks out with a dinner invitation to somewhere he knows you like — he’s already made the reservation, so what do you say? He’ll watch you drone about your day with some smitten look on his face until his food goes cold.

Without his usual suave bravado he feels a little too vulnerable than what he’s used to — sometimes, when he looks at you, he feels like he’s looking straight into the sun for the first time, blinding and comforting all at once.

His love is genuine, if a little clumsy, too. You might get calls from him throughout the day while he’s at work: nothing’s wrong, he’s quick to say, he just wanted to hear your voice. His hand reaches out for yours in the same smooth, practiced motion as always, but the way his fingers curl around yours, his thumb brushes over your knuckles is new, almost shy — and if you’re able to catch the look on his face before he glances away, you’ll be able to see the gentle upturn of his lips, a delicate little arc, brighter than any gem he could ever present to you.

ROBIN's love for you is something akin to the feeling of walking into a well-lived room: warm, familiar, safe. No matter how long you’ve actually been together, she always feels some sense of innocent puppy-love for you — always enamoured by the way you speak, and smile, and laugh, and…

It’s quite likely that you’re her first romantic relationship. She’s had fans in the past that might’ve liked the idea of her more than her actual self, but with you she feels seen in all the best ways. She doesn’t feel the need to play any role, or keep her hair neat and voice soft and back straight. In your company she feels she can let herself be, let herself hold your hand across the table or wipe a little bit of food off the corner of your lips. Would you be so kind as to let her? She hopes so — the feeling of your warmth next to hers is more exhilarating than the cheers of any crowd.

Robin’s preferred kind of dates are the more lowkey kind: maybe you just want to have a home-cooked dinner, or to watch a movie in the living room? She’ll help you set up the kitchen or help decide on a movie. It’s not uncommon for her to encounter reporters or paparazzi while out and about, and while she might be used to it, she doesn’t want you to get caught in the crossfire. It’s like a breath of fresh air for her, too — everything is so much less stifling when it’s just the two of you.

She seems like the type to express her love in little ways, too. She’ll order your coffee in the way that you like without even having to ask, or she’ll adjust your collar if it’s crooked before you go out together. The thought of you permeates all her thoughts and actions, too — in a crowd of people she’ll find herself singing only to you, and as you walk hand-in-hand through the late-night streets of the Golden Hour, not even the brightest lights will be able to tear her eyes away from you, the sweetest dream she could ever hope to have.

[stormblessed95]

Watching Are You Sure?! EP 6

A reminder of how I do these reaction posts as I watch things. I just write my reactions and thoughts down literally they happen. Think more of a bullet point format. I'll include links when I can to videos, thanks to the people who twt who upload clips. And at the end, I'll do a better wrap up of all my opinions. I hope everyone enjoyed the show so far!!

Flying to Japan on Nov 25, 2023!

Jikook being the rich bitches that they are now, do you think they had the whole plane just for them and their staff? The way they BOTH got to enjoy the window seats and the whole row to themselves for most of the trip. Genuinely wish I could fly that way 😂 it has to make that experience a little less miserable lol

Jungkooks super informal tone, the soft way he spoke, the way he placed his hand over Jimin's nape.... Topped off with talking about how their first ever trip together was to Japan, Tokyo. And that's why he wanted to come back. Excuse me 😭 the romantic in you is escaping!

JK panning down with his camera and us getting to see Jimin gripping his sweater over his tummy. Such a consistent habit! Both of them! JK randomly panning to film Jimin, and Jimin holding onto JK. They are so sweet and cute. It's giving boyfriend. I can't lie lol

"We have arrived" they say, while in a moving car, and I'm pretty sure Jimin has to be in JKs lap to film the way they are. Or at least BASICALLY all the way in it. Lol and JKs smug ass little smirk and pouty lips. Bro, chill 😅😂

The zoom in on Jimins eyes randomly. Another habit consistently consistent!

JK saying yes of course he knew Jimin's album was coming out soon and yes of course he watched the SGMB video. He stays up to date on all Jimin content thank you very much

Not the kids making Jimin feel old by calling him Uncle 😂😂

Jikook hanging out drinking and eating snacks and just chit chatting so normal and regular that Jimin just completely forgets they are filming a show for a brief second there, walking away without his camera. There is something so endearing about that

Not them showing us JK falling on the ice from both Jimin and JKs camera perspectives 😂😂

JK being super whiny and bratty and Jimin going "why are you so angry these days?" With a laugh and JK going "it's for the show" basically to be more entertaining. Lol and Jimin just saying that he can handle all his anger. Handle all of JK. "I can handle you" is what it's giving. And it's giving so so much. Just wow

They way they reminisced about their first Tokyo trip while eating their midnight snack 🥰 Jimin remembered so many details. JK just remembered being worried about Jimin's feet hurting during their long walk to Shibuya.

JK sharing how special it was for him to get a short letter from RM when he did his showcase. That was so cute!!

Them arguing over the AC with one being hot and the other cold was so relatable for me. It was like watching me and my partner 😂

They went to sleep in separate beds and woke up in front of cameras in separate beds, but you can't convince me that JK didn't end up in Jimins bed for at least part of the night. Lol his sheets are still tucked in all nicely (Jimin's aren't and JK doesn't sleep that neat from what we have seen lol) and his water bottle is moved over to Jimin's side of the nightstand too. But what do I know 🤷‍♀️😂

Has there been an episode where Jikook haven't brushed their teeth together? Lol

JK being all romantic about remember this moment of watching the snow fall together in the morning. And Jimin popping the bubble by saying they'll have to shovel so much snow in the military 😂😂

JK going I want to cut my hair and Jimin immediately coming over to crack jokes with wordplay 😂

JK just turning to stare at Jimin wanting his compliments over the glasses he picked out to wear. Lol and Jimin immediately giving him said compliment. It was absolutely giving domestic couple vibes. Can't lie won't lie

Bathroom selcas!!

JK wearing a napkin under his glasses because his nose was sweating because of the spice 🤣

The vibes and tones they have when speaking about their service is so drastically different when compared to in the USA. They are about to enter into service together and they have no more doubts or fear of being separated and you can tell in how they talk about it now versus then.

The editors making fun of Jikook ordering in Japanese lmfao "using all the words they know"

The reappearance of "KooKoo-San" 😭😭🥰😍

I love the animated train station 🤣🤣

Jikook sharing air pods and music on the train and roleplaying saying it feels like they are in an anime. They said they were listening to a Japanese song and Jimin was getting really into when he started this role play. Lol what song was it?!!?

Jimin pulled a JK and went from filming scenery to randomly switching his camera view to film Jungkook close up too.

JK snuggling up on Jimin as they watch the scenery go by on the train is the cutest fucking thing. JK was living the dream. You can tell they were so content and happy.

Finally arriving in Sapporo and walking through the train station seeing an adorable little girl and Jimin getting all sappy about how he would be an emotional mess as a girl dad if he ever had a daughter. JK looked both nervous and excited about that idea 🤣🥰💜

Jimin saying JKs live vocals on Hate You were so good that he threw his phone. So relatable. The biggest fanboy!

Jikook singing Super Tuna!! So cute!!

Jimin saying he has to be the most normal on a team of weirdos and JK being like nah babe, you are a total weirdo freak just like the rest of us! (Personally, I think to make it as an idol, you can't be normal, you gotta have a little bit of freak going on to be able to handle all of that lol) But yes Jungkook! Speak that truth! "Who sets the standard for 'normal' anyway?" EXACTLY!!!

Not Jimin pulling up Christmas Day by Jikook circa 2014 to listen to on their snowy drive in Sapporo Japan?! The sentimentality and romance in the air that has to be happening?! Lol even with their younger voices 🤣 the cringe over hearing his 19 year old voice say merry Christmas 🤣😂😂

Impromptu self photoshoot in the snow!

The way they giggle together is one of my favorite things. Over anything and everything

Jikook roleplaying at the museum bar lol that was inherently flirty. So flirty. What the heck. That was first time meeting at a bar with cheesy pick up lines roleplay. That's like kinky foreplay for some people 😂😂 JK getting all flustered over it too and ending it with the "you're ridiculous" lol

JK this thing is cute, Jimin buy it then. Ah, rich people 😅😂

Their embarrassed faces when the staff told them as they were walking away that they didn't pay for their drinks 😂😂😂 Jimin running up to go pay but with JKs black card! Lol not even his own! But that's before they said Cash only, so JK comes to pay for it in cash lol I too, would've felt very embarrassed over forgetting to pay 😂

Jimin galloping through the snow. Lmao he is such a little weirdo 🤣😂 love him so much

Their cute little snowball fight with JK picking up just massive clumps of snow to throw lol

Not them calling ARMY out for just enjoying watching them just sit around and eat. They know we are down bad lol

What kind of carrots is Jimin eating that they are bitter??! 😂

Jikook constantly memeing together too lmao!

Them saying they would've been such trouble together as same age friends. They already don't have a normal hyung/dongsaeng relationship at all. Can you imagine if those lines that they already pretend don't exist actually never existed at all? Already attached at the hip. If vminkook were ALL same age friends, they would be even crazier together I bet! Lol

Jimin once again talking about the dumpling fight. The way he was actually ready to beat Tae up during that is still so crazy to me 😂😂 the way he Knows they (Vmin) were both being petty AF back then and they can laugh now.

Lmfao not them talking about JK kissing RM for his birthday and RM telling him he went too far and crossing the line. They wore him down to accepting their kisses eventually. Birthday kisses must've turned into tradition since then for Joonie 😂😂

They've come so so far. I'm so proud of all my members. I too can't wait to see the 7 back together again!

Shall we head to the hot springs?? Can't wait!

Wrap Up Thoughts:

Please ignore any and all typos in this post. My brain is so fried and I'm so sleepy. Lol

Anyone else notice they spent almost this entire episode in matching and/or coordinated outfits? Yeah, me too! How very adorable of them. It's so obvious and clear in this episode than it has been in any other. The thing I noticed most about their dynamics in this episode was the consistency in all their little sweet and cute habits together. Things they've done around each other for years and years. And they are still doing it!

JK spent the entire episode randomly filming Jimin. And he said "I love it" or "I'm so happy" over 30 times in just the one episode. Traveling with Jimin and just chilling together brings him so much joy. Everyone should rejoice in that. And Jimin spent the entire episode randomly bursting out into song, but specifically SNTY 🥰 the support!

And the way JK was filming Jimin, it's still that consistency man.

I said most of my "analysis" moments in all that stuff above, I don't really feel the need to repeat myself but if someone wants or needs clarification on my thoughts, please ask/let me know! This was a beautiful and very sweet episode. They were just purely enjoying each other's company! They were so happy together. Good food, good beer, good company, beautiful atmosphere. I'm so happy for them. And it reeks of domestic bliss so often in this episode too. Lol love that for them as well!

If anyone in Brazil wants to know what video from Twitter is under any of my purple links, please let me know which one and I'll try and download and post that specific video for you. Just send an ask. Sorry for the inconvenience!

[sixstepsaway]

I don't get why people want to pretend Ed wasn't abusive. Why do people insist on making everything into binaries? Yes, Ed has been a victim of abuse. Yes, he has been abusive. Both things can be true. I love him because I think he's in interesting and I understand where his pain is coming from (even if I think S2 was a missed opportunity in terms of character development). But anyway, thank you for writing about this because maybe some folks genuinely don't recognize abusive trends.

I think it has a lot to do with the fandom culture of only being allowed to like "wholesome" ships.

Look at it this way: when season 1 was airing, Ed and Stede were, in fact, very wholesome. Sure, they had some moments of lesser wholesomeness, but overall they were pretty wholesome and sweet and gentle. They were sweet and finding love in middle age and it was adorable. They had a general stamp of fandom approval that they were, in fact, Wholesome And Good To Ship™.

If you look at other fandoms, you'll see a lot of times there's the Good And Acceptable Ship and then there's the Bad Ship (or ships) and the Bad Ship is always slapped with the "oh that's actually incest!" label when they've, idk, grown up together, or "oh it's abusive!" because one of them one time made a bad joke or something, or "power dynamics!" because one is 27 and one is 25 or one is short and the other is tall or whatever, and yeah sometimes the Bad Ship is actually toxic or whatever (which is not a reason to not ship and enjoy it!), but they're put in neat little boxes: Good and Bad.

And for a lot of people, those boxes keep them safe. Last year, someone who was an Izzy Hands fan got doxxed because...? They liked Izzy Hands and shipped him with... I don't know actually. Ed? Stede? It doesn't matter, all I know is they got doxxed.

The side of fandom that thinks you should only ship the Good Ship are toxic and downright dangerous. It's happened again and again in numerous fandoms and just keeps happening.

So when at the end of s1, Ed turned around and cut Izzy's toe off and fed it to him, I think a lot of people panicked because shit, now Ed was Bad too, and if he's Bad then you can't like him or relate to him or ship him with the Good guy of Stede, so what the fuck do you do?

Obvious answer: Blame Izzy. Izzy's already classed as Bad, so put all the responsibility on Izzy for Ed's darkness and then it's safe to ship Ed and Stede again and no one can call you an abuse apologist or whatever for liking them together.

(To be clear: Shipping says nothing about your real morality. This is very clear for many reasons, one of which is... spend thirty seconds watching fans of the Wholesome Ships dox people and abuse people online lol)

So they spent all this time saying Ed was just scared and lashing out, and now s2 has come along and Ed is... well, abusive, canonically.

And for most of us, that doesn't really matter. We can still enjoy Ed and Stede or Ed and Izzy, we can throw ourselves into fanworks and enjoy the show for the things we like, and we can critique the things we have issues with (my problem is not Ed being written as dark and twisty and having a villain arc, my problem is the show writing it badly, exploring it badly, and then handwaving it, because it's shitty writing) and still really enjoy the vibes we got from the show.

But for people who are scared because they spent all this time saying Izzy fans should kill themselves for liking an abuser, well... now they have a choice: either admit Ed is an abuser and admit that liking a character doesn't dictate your irl morality, nor does it say anything about you aside from what you enjoy in fiction, or excuse away his actions, insist he's just a lil meow meow and continue feeling safe in their little bubble.

In a lot of ways I can't blame people for wanting to duck and cover from it. I mean, look at the shit people get for liking characters who aren't perfect, or talking about the imperfections of characters, or just enjoying complex narratives!

But what genuinely concerns me isn't anything to do with the fiction really, it's when people look at Ed's behavior in 2x01 and 2x02 and go, "Nah he's fine," because oh, honey, no, you are making yourself so vulnerable to real life abuse. That is what worries me, which is why I answered that one ask saying Ed wasn't abusive, it felt important to point out why he is.

Anyway, that's what I think is happening here. I think people are just scared that if they admit their fave has multitudes and isn't a perfect character who never does any wrong, they'll get doxxed and abused and harassed online.

I get that.

[yuri-is-online]

Hi Yuri! I hope you are doing well<333 I really enjoy reading your writing and I am always more fond of reading the little octatrio fish gang! I dont really know how this usually works because I never send in any asks at all nor do I see your rules list or anything but if you dont mind I would like to make a request<3

A mc who finds an out of tune and old piano and fondly remembers that they used to play piano back in their world. And perhaps Azul hears in on this and despite the piano being old and out of tune, it is rather beautiful how you play it because of how imperfect the notes are being played out. (SORRY I WAS LISTENING TO FALLEN DOWN AND THE FEELINGS WERE JUST SURGING AND THE BRAINROT WAS TOO MUCH)

You dont have to force yourself or anything! Please take care and dont feel too pressured! <3

The Most Romantic of All Arts (Azul Ashengrotto x Yuu)

Hello dear friend and I am doing quite well thank you! I'm pleased you like my writing; the octotrio is what finally cracked my resolve to check out Twisted Wonderland and put FGO on the back burner so I suppose I shouldn't beat myself up too much for writing about them so much. I am sorry I caused you stress with my lack of rules, I don't usually send requests or asks myself, so I felt really bad to have frightened you. Not too sure if this will end up being what you had in mind, it got away from me a bit.

Also when you say Fallen Down, you do mean the Undertale soundtrack piece right? It's a soothing song I listened to it while I was plotting this to try and get into a similar headspace.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, header taken from the painting Spirit by George Roux (1885) which I found on this wordpres blog article I took the title from, it's a neat painting, Azul learning to find beauty and love in imperfections is important to me ok? Other works can be found on my masterlist here.

Sometimes you wonder if Ramshakle is sentient. The old building has more rooms than you know what to do with, and lovely as the ghosts are they don't fully remember what they were used for, if they remembered in the first place. But still there was something about those rooms that seemed to love you; he guest room almost built itself up around you, the kitchen had only needed some basic repairs before it was ready to help play host again, and no matter where a fire place was found it was always eager to burst to life and warm you and Grim.

It does not have the same love for Azul, he'd complained as much when you talked about just what it was he wanted with the building after the events of his overblot had cooled between you.

"It's got a graveyard in front of it, though?" That really had been the crux of your whole argument. It was hard to be annoyed with his laugh when it sounded so nice, the genuine amusement a refreshing difference to his previous performitive indifference.

"Yes," he muses, sipping at his real before he continues, "I'm not bothered by that much, ghosts and grave ships aren't uncommon sights under the sea, but I always forget how unusual humans think they are."

"There's a lot of superstitions about places where people are buried." You mean it as an explanation, but it brings an odd look to Azul's face, like there's an emotion bubbling beneath his surface he doesn't want to acknowledge but is too strong to suppress. It settles over you both, as you try to focus on drinking your tea while your host seems content to let his grow cold.

"Well, I suppose it's a good thing that ruin isn't really sentient." He sounds almost bitter, disappointed in how long he has let his drink cool you decide as he reaches for the pot and warms it with some fresh tea. "Otherwise, I'd accuse it of trying to keep you."

It's a silly thought, but the sight of this latest discovery really does have you wondering. You are supposed to be in that wonderfully accommodating kitchen making snacks for when Azul decides to "coincidentally drop by" later this evening to "go over the Lounge's expenses" in your guest room. On a Tuesday. When it was almost guaranteed business would be slow enough to keep anyone from wondering too hard about where he'd gone or the twins from being too upset about running things. But instead of "just wanting to try" a new recipe, you are here, tucked in a room just a bit further down the hall from the guest room watching Grim give his best impression of Ace after completing a magic trick. Because stars know he has never seen any other magicians.

"TA-DA!" He puts both of his paws out to really sell the piano at the window. "See, I told you I had a great surprise!"

"I'm sorry for not believing you." You say and try not to laugh with just how much more proud that seems to make him. "But where did you find this? Or how I guess, unless you moved it?"

"Nah." He shakes his head before remembering he's supposed to be the "great" Grim. "I mean I could have! But I'm just so cool I managed to find a piano here already, so all I had to do was clean it up instead! You're welcome henchuman." You scratch just behind his ears and politely ignore his purrs as you examine the piano and its bench. They're old, likely just as ancient as everything else in the dormitory and likely extremely, achingly out of tune. But the mere sight of it makes your fingers itch, and Grim barely has to whine "Well ain't you gonna play somethin'?" Before you're at the bench, experimentally pressing the keys to try and sound out something.

Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are-

You hum it rather than sing, irrationally worried Grim will somehow figure out it's a lullaby and complain that you're babying him instead of cutely dancing along with the music like it's one of the cassettes Deuce let you borrow. He cheers for another, and you oblige, letting your muscle memory carry you as far as it can as you try searching your brain for just what it was you wanted most to hear from yourself after all this time being unable to play.

And missing the click of a heavy door down the hall in the effort.

Azul hears nothing at first, and though it does disappoint, it does not bother him. He's had a long day, one about to be made longer still by the grey zone already draping itself around his thoughts as he shrugs his blazer off to his shoulders while en route to the Ramshackle guest room. He pauses, for what he tells himself is only going to be second, at the kitchen door and is left unrewarded for his detour.

You aren't there: and that does bother him somewhat, even if it should not if his pretext is to be believed. These visits were too commonplace to be random, but maybe you'd made plans, deciding not to look past his excuses for the evening. Maybe you were asleep, tired of the day or just plain tired of him. But there is a kettle sat on it's base, mercifully not on just yet, but two mugs and the pour over cone set next to as if it was expecting company. The nerves remain knotted in his stomach, though the cause shifts towards something more welcome.

So you do have a mug purposefully set aside and designated just for him, and is that a little recpie card with notes on coffee taped to that tin? These things should worry him, the picture he snaps and immediately hides in a folder should be for a purpose. But it's separate from those ones, labeled something inane and barely full with how careful he is to have his longing remain unseen. He wonders, briefly if it would be an intrusion to make the drinks himself. If it would reveal to much to show outright he knows the way you take yours instead of just saying it in time with your order, but knows that would not be the exact issue here. He is a guest, and guests limit themselves to the halls and that room he forces himself, with haste that would be noticeable if you were there to see it, back down the hall and back towards the guest room. Azul has work to do, he can content himself with the warmth the mental image the cups on the counter produces until something forces him to pause at a door once more. The piano is old, droning out a tune that is unpolished and rusty from the player's lack of practice but filled with such a specific sort of joy it has him actually running towards it.

You sit at the bench, a serious look of determination on your face so unlike the usual Yuu it can't help but be cute. Grim sleeps contentedly on your lap as you continue searching for the threads of melody still trapped inside your head from years of only occasionally reluctant practice. It's an unfamiliar tune in composition, but not in feel. There's words to this song, maybe not in the form of lyrics, but there all the same for him to stumble even closer to as he comes to a halting stop just behind you and the music ends in a surprised crash as you whip your head around to see him.

"Azul!"

"Very sorry to interrupt." He holds up both hands in surrender, composure only just maintained as you check to see Grim still asleep and laugh nervously. "I didn't know you could play."

"Can't really." You say somewhat bitterly and more confidence comes to Azul as a slight plan froms in his mind. "I'm really out of practice ugh. I know it shouldn't annoy me! But with how everything's been since I showed up, it's just not been on my mi- Oh hello?"

Azul fully removes his jacket and sets it on a side table close to where he had been satanding, moving to sit on the bench next to you. He has enough mercy not to loosen his tie or do anything else scandalous, but the close examination he gives to the keys could have fooled you. "Pity it's so out of tune, this is a nice piano."

"I know right! I'm really happy Grim found it." You resist the urge to poke his cheeks some and Azul lightly, trying not to too openly relish in your surprise reaches one arm around your back to place his hands into a similar position as you had been earlier, tucking you close to his side.

"May I?" He's smug. Too smug it's robbing you of sanity.

"What's it going to cost?" You try too hard not to sound like you're flailing as you look to see your question hasn't even phased him at all.

"Oh normally I wouldn't dream of charging for a performance," he clearly lies "but it's been such a long day I wouldn't say no to a cup of coffee." And he's off, music only marred by the off key of the piano in a clearly purposeful display of talent meant to sear itself into your mind enough that you don't think about his request too long. You and he are from two different worlds, but he knows that music has a way of gapping that if the stories of the mermaid princess told him anything at all. So when he purposefully slows the song at its end, he knows you know, that tricky smile he swore once he'd always hate kicking his heartbeat up again as you lean fully against his shoulder.

"Beautiful." You say, not bothering to give the compliment direction as he can't help but agree. "We should play together next time."

"I-" You pick yourself up and what he wants to say slows when you pick up his jacket for him and hold out a hand. Later, he all to easily decides. Later, without Grim and with specific time set purposefully aside so you know just how much it matters. "I would like that. You'll have to show me the songs that you can remember from your world." And he takes your hand just to soothe some of the ache, trying and failing not to show just how happy he is when you keep it.

[persimmonpoet]

Kunikida and Katai Headcanons :3c

i'll put the explaniation for the headcanons in parenthesises, just cause it's fun :3 most of these i try to keep canon, but oh well

Kunikida !!

✦ he has photographic memory (the reason for why he was able to create the release key in Dazai's Entrance Exam, despite seeing it I think once even though it was damaged (please correct me if I'm wrong on that-) plus like- angst. he cannot get the many tragic deaths out of his head no matter how hard he tries. everytime his mind drifts from work or his schedule, he'll see them. the people he failed.)

✦ punk as hell !!!! (hates: authority. also it's just a fun headcanon that is plausible- his ideals go against what the law says is 'good'.)

✦he has OCD (the panic that comes after something goes wrong in his schedule or when he's late even by a few seconds- not just in a 'oh so neat and tidy perfectionist (though he definitely is a perfectionist!)' way.)

✦ closeted bisexual with a female preference who doesn't even realize he's bi damn it you idiot (no canon backing up, i just like it-)

✦ enjoys writing poetry (and is good at it), it's a form of expressing himself, especially when his emotions get the best of him. that two hours of crying was accompanied by writing the most gut-wrenching heart-shattering poetry ever. (due to being 'the matchless poet' and his irl being a poet)

✦ to add onto the previous one, he probably has his old poetry from his teenage years locked away from any curious eyes. literally the most cringeworthy thing ever. ranpo knows where it is, and both dazai and yosano are still trying to bribe it out of him. (no canon reason for this one either, it'd just be funny for when the two finally figure it out and use it to tease kunikida relentlessly ^_^)

✦ the reason why he joined the agency full-time is because something happened to his students that has to do with the azure king. maybe a bomb was set off. he wasn't able to stop it, having been running late that day. by the time he got there, it was too late to figure out a way to protect the kids he swore to protect.

(the bomb is because the azure king seemed to having bombing as his preference, plus asagiri's obsession with kunikida and bombs. plus, it would explain kunikida's choice of weaponry- he became fixated with bombs after this, trying to figure out how each one worked and looked so he'll never lose anyone like that again and it'll never be his fault (look where that got him!), and he just so happened to find a sort of macabre usefulness in them. plus, his obsessiveness of being on time would be even more angsty. if he's off by a little, something terrible could happen! dude i am literally a yappatron what the hell. go girl!!! cook nothing!!)

✦ has a little brother, who also died from the azure king incidents. (irl kunikida had a younger brother named shuji kunikida, at least from what i researched. please let me know if i'm wrong!)

✦ his father fought in the great war- he had a rough relationship with him, as PTSD really changes a man. and just for fun, yosano treated kunikida's father a lot in the great war, which just worsened the PTSD. (irl kunikida's father was a samurai)

✦ hearing aids oh my godddd hearing aid user kunikida.... (yosano's ability heals near fatal injuries. his ears would suffer from being so close to explosions constantly, as well as gunfire. plus, the agency isn't the quietest place in the world.)

✦ adding on to my previous headcanon, sometimes when he can't focus at work or gets overstimulated, he just shuts all sound out. can't be bothered by shit if he can't hear the shit, now can he? hah, take that dazai!

✦ he has a lot of moles. and he's strong! really strong ohhh yeah... calloused hands... (only reason just being his genuine show of strength in canon + him being an expert martial artist taught by fukuzawa of all people (though i don't think martial arts build that much muscle from just a quick google search?) he also does a lot of work with his hands, especially due to the nature of his ability.)

✦ after all the canon events, he's just a little terrified of fireworks. (they remind him of the little girl he lost to a bomb due to the noise.)

✦ carpal tunnel syndrome. (due to excessive use of his hands, especially due to how much he writes.)

✦ he's extremely gullible. (i think this one is pretty canon, but im not sure so it's going here. i mean, he falls for literally everything dazai says. you'd think he'd figure it out one day.)

Katai !! (he'll have way less canon reasons but we prevail! sorry-)

✦ he has depression and anxiety. (based on how he is in canon)

✦ this man has a lot of hidden talents (he stays inside all day. sure, he has his computers, but it has to get a bit redundant, right? so he taught himself a whole bunch of things. he's great at art now and loves to do crafts. there are just random unfinished projects all over his apartment now, and like twenty million origami animals)

✦ loves marine animals (i just think it's neat- also angst cause cause cause uhm rokuzo!!! yeah)

✦ he and rokuzo bonded over that and their computer skills, and it completely ruined katai when rokuzo died. (angst !!! plus, you can't tell me kunikida didn't introduce them at least once.)

✦ he's the one who buys kunikida's favorite book of ideals. he also bought his insanely specific watch. and his computers are really good quality, expensive ones.

(katai is canonically rich- "He took on hacking jobs with stipends by the billions, and completed every single one of them, flawlessly... It was only a matter of time before Katai’s bank account, which had accumulated enough money to flip the millionaire's list upside down...", Kunikida and Katai's Magnificent Days (he just donates most of his money to charities because of [spoilers, go read the LN it's so fun!!]) - so being able to afford all this stuff would be easy. plus, you think kunikida, the armed detective, can afford such a rare book that only has a few copies each year, going through it rather quickly due to his ability?)

✦ his favorite fruits are apples !! (kunikida brings him apples on new years eve in their LN!! it's a stretch but whatever)

✦ left the agency after the azure king arc, due to believing he failed kunikida and the agency as a whole. they may be family, but his ability doesn't work there anymore. and his ability only works when he is comfortable.

✦ he and atsushi are pretty close. (i love this cause of the WAN chapters 88 and 118. that is literally his son. atsushi comes over and katai teaches him new games while atsushi makes crepes like he did for kyouka in WAN chapter 85) (thank you asagiri from ripping away the found family i WILL find you.)

✦ he can control transport and does it a lot. usually to assist the agency is getting somewhere quicker and safer. (he can control all tech with his ability, right? and transportation is built on computers/technology too. especially newer ones! we've seen him change a stoplight before, so it's not too much of a stretch.)

✦ body hair katai save me body hair katai........... katai with chub..... do you hear me katai with chub..... (this is so self-indulgent. hear me out.)

✦ oh his eyesight is so shitty. (he stares at computers in the dark all day. he's just like me for real!)

✦ also bisexual with a female preference! :3

✦ grew up in a religious family (self indulgent ahahaha....)

Kunikatai !!!! ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊ (yeah this will have like, no canon reasoning. but it's shipping headcanons, so that's to be at least a little expected! i'll try to keep them in character, though)

✦ oh they are so soft with each other. they are so good at comforting. soft touches, soft reassurances, chaste kisses, gentle hugs, just body language in general. neither of them may be good with words, but damn it they will be soft and mushy and sweet to each other.

✦ katai buys kunikida so many gifts. he's like a sugar daddy oh my god- gift-giving and spoiling is his love language. and due to being rich as hell, he gets really expensive stuff. at one point, the agency believed kunikida was fucking the port mafia, 'cause who in the world can afford that? kunikida says it's a waste and a clutter, but it's clear that he enjoys it- his smile and his eyes say it all.

✦ top katai bottom kuniki- *gets shot*

✦ kunikida fell first, katai fell so much harder he started to limbo in the marina trench. are they stupid.

✦ intertwined arts. katai will draw or paint kunikida's poetry that continuously inspires him. kunikida will write poetry about katai's works, which never fail to amaze him.

✦ ranpo and yosano know they're dating cause the four of them are literally family oh my god og agency four save me....

✦ they are such good cuddlers, and it's because of the fact they feel safer in each other's arms. kunikida has a chance to live without the memories of those he 'failed' for once, he has a chance to live outside of his drive of his ideals. katai gets a chance to feel loved, which is hard for him when he's left alone with only his thoughts most of the time. (katai uses the excuse of his ability not working without kunikida cuddling against him just to get more physical contact. kunikida is gullible as hell, so he falls for it every single time.)

✦ rokuzo, kunikida, and katai were like a family. the only time katai really goes out without kunikida's pressuring is to feed rokuzo's fish and clean his computers- knowing rokuzo can't. some days, most days actually, he'll see kunikida there too. they'll share tears and laughs over someone they thought of as a son. they're not the stepdads, they're the dads that stepped up.

✦ dating kunikida made katai actually try to clean up after himself. it's hard, sure, and sometimes he can't do it- but he tries. he knows kunikida will like to come home to something organized and not have to worry about cleaning up before getting to do anything else. and katai cannot refuse if it's for kunikida. (little did katai know, the annoyance of having to clean up after a hard day of work isn't why kunikida wants the apartment to be clean! actually, if kunikida doesn't have to clean up, he'll have more time to spend being soft and sweet with his beloved. and that's what he looks forward to after work.)

✦ to add onto the punk kunikida headcanon, katai would bail kunikida's ass out of jail on multiple occassions. he is known by name at the local station. before they leave, he'll properly bandage kunikida's knuckles, all while scolding him- not for beating up the millionth cop, but for not getting out there fast enough and getting arrested. (this is thanks to @starlightshadowsworld, their punk kunikida posts are my favorite things ever)

✦ they went to the same arcade dazai and chuuya did. even more, katai would just straight up cheat at the games with his ability- meaning he's the top of the leaderboard on every single game there (much to ssk's hatred). he only does it for the tickets, which he uses to buy kunikida an insane amount of plushies. he also cheats at the claw machines, which ends up with kunikida hauling giant teddy bears around with an embarrassed grin.

✦ they are the definition of relaxation. no fancy dates for them. they are sitting in a bathtub with the lights off and with bubbles. they are under a blanket snoozing. they are in bed. the romantic grind never starts, they are too comfy for that.

✦ kunikida makes the nicer dates on rare occasions, though. not too fancy, as neither of them have time for that, but it's enjoyable and special. rose petals and candles and warm aromas. matching pajamas and weighted blankets.... pull in one of the stray cats and cuddle them why don't you. (they do.)

✦ bullied kids on the internet when they were teens. 'okay kunikida now type kill yourself' while playing murder mystery 2 or some shit.

okay anyways thanks for reading!!! live laugh love kunikida and katai kisses them holds them lovingly

@chuuyaszn sorry for the tag but like. thoughts!!

[snorky]

You?

Hey y’all! I apologize for taking forever with this story, I’ve been extremely busy recently. This fic is a lot more “iffy” than some of my works, so I’ll be sure to write something much fluffier next time, I promise. Auston Matthews in this story is basically a personification of someone I know in real life, unfortunately, but I’m pretty sure the real Auston wouldn’t be such an a-hole. The title is based off of the song “You” by Two Feet. I hope you all enjoy this fic, and please remember to take care of yourself!

Pairing: Auston Matthews x F!Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Angst, Friends-with-Benefits situation, A-hole!Auston Matthews, Toxic Relationship

—

—

The rain poured down in Toronto. It always does at this time of year. But on this night especially, the rain just didn’t seem to stop. City lights hung outside, twinkling and glimmering, emphasized by the raindrops that rolled down her living room window.

They hung like the stars that weren’t present in the Toronto night because of light pollution. It replaced the gaseous stars with man-made ones. It was so breath-taking and yet, a horrifying thought to think about.

White noise flowed from the TV, a jumble of mindless words and sounds of whatever was going on in the world at the moment. A reflection of what it seemed to be like in her head. The bright screen illuminated her face, intensifying her tired, worn-out expression.

Sitting on the living room floor against her couch, her mind ran endlessly, wondering so much about how she got here. Here in Toronto, so far away from home. 

‘It was only meant to be for school,’ she told herself. 

Ambitious and unstoppable, she wanted to pursue something so big. So big in fact, that her parents didn’t want her to, but she didn’t listen to them. Never did. 

“You’re a small girl with big dreams, huh?”

His words rang in her ears. A siren’s song that lured her in when she first met him at some cafe on a Saturday morning, their orders getting mixed up. They chatted for a bit, falling into a natural conversation about life in Toronto and how it felt far away from home for the both of them.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “I grew up in Arizona, so ending up in Toronto was something new.”

She smiled, “Really? That’s neat,”

He hummed, looking up from his coffee and making eye contact with her, “I should take you there sometime.” He winked.

A laugh bubbled up from her throat, pulling a smile from him. She thought about it, visiting Arizona with a charming, handsome man seemed like a fun vacation. Plus, she hadn’t traveled much recently.

“Your laugh is sweet, you know?” His voice was weaved with a genuine tone. “I want to hear it more often, darling.”

Warm red crept up onto her face, blushing at his words. “Auston,” she let out a soft and yet warning tone. She didn’t want to fall for him. Her life was already busy enough with studying and working a job at a flower store downtown. Letting Auston in her life, her world, was a risky decision.

“Sweetheart,” he mirrored her tone, noticing her rigidness. “I mean it, I want to know you more.”

Silence fell between them, the whirring of the coffee machine and the chatter of other customers being the only noise in the air. Her gaze was directed towards her room-temp cup of coffee that she forgot to drink while talking with Auston, and he noticed it.

“We can take it slow, I’ll take you out and we can get to know each other more.” He smiled.

She smiled back and nodded, and they exchanged numbers and kept in contact over the months. More sweet coffee dates, more of him spoiling her with gifts, more of her energy being put into him, and more of their time spent together.

As they spent more time together, she started to fall for him, his cliche charming smile, his fast-paced life as an athlete, glamorous or not, and every detail about him. She grew closer and closer to him, but she kept her guard up.

There was no choice. Something inside of her kept nagging her to do so. She didn’t understand why she felt the need to, but she did, just in case. He knew some bits about her, and he noticed how she seemed quiet, but he never thought more of it. Maybe that’s where he went wrong, the fact that he didn’t think more than once or twice about something. Maybe she should’ve kept her guard up.

She was tired of Auston’s behavior. It was draining her, badly. Enough so, that her friends told her to block him, ignore him, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Auston meant so much to her, or at least she felt like he did. It didn’t matter if he cared about her or not. 

It didn’t matter that she had only known him for the past six months. There was something about him that drew her towards him. A moth towards a burning flame.

Radio silence was an ordinary thing to hear from Auston, however. She wouldn’t hear back from him for days and weeks, and then suddenly, just like that, he was back in her life. A flash of his message on her screen and she was a tangled mess for him. 

She had her own life and she was aware, and yet her mind kept lingering towards Auston when it could, but Auston was just, beyond tempting. 

The way his confidence never seemed to falter. The way his voice flowed smoothly as he spoke. The way he never failed to constantly wear his chain, no matter what. The way his mustache seemed to compliment his boldness. The way his warm, dark eyes lingered on her when she was wearing that one dress that seemed to captivate him.

“You look stunning, sugar.” He sighed as he leaned in to catch her lips with his, rough fingers grazing gently against her chin.

She kissed back, the slight taste of him on her lips, “You look even more handsome, Aus.”

The night sparkled behind them, a cool Toronto breeze brushing past. They stood outside a fancy restaurant downtown, slow jazz music flowing out of the doors. His navy blue suit seemed to fit him in all the right places, emphasizing his arms and broad frame.

He caught her eyes gazing at him and the sides of his lips curled upwards, “Like what you see, darling?”

A loud boom of thunder rumbled outside, snapping her back to reality. The TV was still on, her body sat on the living room carpet against the couch, and the sound of the dishwasher was running in the kitchen.

She sighed, thinking about everything she knew at the moment. Her mind was a raging storm, and she stood amidst all of it. 

Auston was simultaneously both the most heavenly and haunting soul she had ever met. As much as she wanted to ignore his faults and wrongs, she so badly wanted to admire all the good things he had brought into her world.

Her world. It sounded so strange when considering the fact that she had her own life before meeting Auston. But now, he was all she ever wanted. His touch, his gaze, his attention, all of it.

And yet, she felt sick to her stomach thinking about him. Every text he sent made her nauseous. He was a sour taste on her tongue and she savored every bit of it. She spent all of her days and nights trying to spend time with him. So much, that she created her own radio silence with her friends.

“Girl, where have you been?” one of her friends questioned. “You’ve been so quiet recently,”

The sun shined down on the group outside, sitting under the large umbrella centered at the table of the restaurant served brunch. At this time of day, it was either old ladies gossiping religiously on a Sunday noon or families on vacation looking for breakfast.

“I’ve been busy, sorry.” She was busy, but maybe with all the wrong things.

Another one of her friends looked at her quizzically, “You’ve been talking to Auston, haven’t you?” She looked at her, taking a bite of her scrambled eggs. “You look tired, I can tell,” she said quietly.

Taking a sip of her mimosa, she thought about it. Maybe she had been spending too much time with Auston. Maybe it was wearing her down much more than she thought. Maybe she forgot to take care of herself.

“We’re here if you need anything, we mean it,” her friend spoke genuinely.

It made her heart ache to think that her friends had to worry about her like this. Nonetheless, she nodded with a gentle smile as a response, and continued to enjoy her brunch with her friends, indulging in the sweet french toast she had on her plate.

Her friends still worried about her often, texting her and calling to check in with her every now and then. She appreciated the gesture, but she assured them that she was doing okay, but was she really?

Was she really okay if it made her heart ache to think about Auston with someone else? Was she really okay if her stomach churned at the mere thought of him leaving her?

A message popped up on her phone that sat on the round coffee table in her living room. Her heart started beating quicker, wondering who it was that would text her at this hour.

You up? - Auston

[belit0]

imagine leaving lipstick marks on their necks/collar without them knowing 🤭

Okay, after writing and translating this whole work, I realized you asked for "lipstick marks" 🫠🫠🫠

I wrote the whole thing using the concept of hickeys, and I hope you don't mind 😭😭 If I have to re-write it (which I'll do if you ask me to) I'd need to change lots of things, and I felt kinda bad about doing that before showing it to you cause I really liked it!

I just hope this is okay :,(((

TW: none Pairing: Otsutsuki Indra / reader - Uchiha Madara / reader - Uchiha Izuna / reader. NSFW

Indra

DEATH! Too traditional to allow (Y/N) to take the reins. If anyone makes hickeys or marks, it's him.

We're talking about the greatest figure of power and respect in the entire Uchiha clan, the damn creator, of course he has to present a neat and respected image to the outside world, to appear untainted and beyond compare. People must respect and fear him, feel they are dealing with a superior and untouchable being.

Of course, having a hickey on his neck destroys that fantasy, giving him more of a human aspect, a person who genuinely enjoys the mundane pleasures of life, such as sex.

"What do you mean Otsutsuki Indra has sex?!?!?!?!?!?!" Yes, and lots of it. People would be shocked to death knowing the sexual beast sleeping inside this man during the day.

It will be one of his disciples who notices it first, as he receives an instructional beating on how to handle Taijutsu. Completely shocked, he will not dare say anything, choosing to think it must be a bruise, some lucky person who managed to touch him during training.

Eventually, the council elders notice, and someone must raise their voice.

"Indra-Sama.... There's something... there's something on your neck, if I may be so bold as to mention..."

Thoughts race at the speed of light in his mind, remembering the night before and how he got careless enough for (Y/N) to have access to his collar. She'd been bragging about reaching for his smooth skin and marking it, but he never thought she'd succeed.

He made the mistake of being careless yesterday, as she massaged his cock in the bathtub while taking a hot dip. Allowing her complete freedom to handle his cock as she wished, throwing back his head and exposing his neck, (Y/N) opted to carry out her move at the very moment he was finishing, so distracted by the sensation he didn't feel her lips sucking on his neck.

It was his fault for relaxing in her presence, finding a person he shouldn't have to pretend to be able to keep up with.

"Indra-Sama? Are you well?"

The older man's voice brings him back to reality, snapping him out of the stupor of remembering the situation. Now he sits with an erect cock and flushed cheeks, trying to pretend everything is all right.

"Everything is fine, there's no need to worry. We'll finish this meeting earlier than usual, there are pressing matters I need to take care of."

"Do you need medical attention? We could check you and see if that mark is anything serious or..."

"I said everything is fine, didn't I? You'll mind your own affairs, attend to your own duties, and forget about it."

He twirled his Sharingan along with his words, just for effect and depth, inwardly planning how he would repay (Y/N) for having taken such a dare.

Madara

Internally, he enjoys hickeys. He loves to know (Y/N) is as possessive of him as he is of her, where the feeling is mutual and fiery, never dull or monotonous.

However, like his ancestor, he has an image to maintain, and cannot afford to show marks just like that. The high collars on his robe help enough, at least to diffract the more outrageous ones.

Madara is aware of several people noticing this, but no one dares to comment on it.

His relationship with (Y/N) is more than well known by now, and no one visualizes him as a sexually quiet man. What surprises people is that he allows her to mark him as well. Who would think this Uchiha is so egalitarian, holding his partner on the same level of rights he possesses?

The one to comment on this will probably be Izuna, being the only one brave enough to ask such a personal question to his older brother. Of course, everyone knows his Aniki would never hurt him. At most, he'll get angry and drag him to the training ground to give him a good beating, but that's about it.

As they enjoy a nice cup of tea with Hikaku, Izuna takes the liberty of remarking.

"That's quite a noticeable thing you're wearing around your neck, Madara. Rough night?" Hikaku interjects, hiding the smirk in his cup of tea.

"Hm, one could call it that, yes." There's a faint hint of amusement at the corner of his lips, but he remains neutral, inwardly grateful the collar of his dressing gown is covering all the other marks.

"Who knew (Y/N) was so wild? Aniki, it looks like a massive insect bite… I now understand why you asked me to take care of your meetings today."

"Stop whining, Izuna. It doesn't hurt you to interact with the council and let them see you're a responsible adult."

"That, precisely, he is not." The third Uchiha sighs inwardly, bearing weeks of taking care of Izuna's respective duties.

"That, precisely, I am not. Besides, responsible adult?! Says the one who walks around with a hickey the size of my fist around his neck."

"It's not wrong to find fun, semi-permanent ways to show love for your partner." Madara smirks into his hot drink.

"Yeah, sure. Wait here, I'll throw up and be right back. What the fuck happened to my big brother, someone explain!"

Izuna

The womanizer no one would ever expect to see attached enough to wear a mark of possession on his neck. Izuna has been with countless women, but he has never allowed any of them to leave even a hint of contact on his skin.

What is it now, walking around the compound with a mark on his collar? It has a name and a surname, (Y/N), for her friends.

A few paragraphs ago, the Uchiha was mocking his older brother for becoming a love softie, and now look at him, melting to the point where he allows her to leave her declarations of affection written on his flesh.

He's totally proud of the hickey, even forgoing his usual long-collared dressing gown in favor of one that shows off his chest, evidencing the previous night's amorous experience with (Y/N).

Of course, the first to laugh at him will be Madara, returning the words of derision he had previously exclaimed. Hikaku will soon follow suit, being a bit more severe in the matter of teasing him. Izuna will smile and laugh at every attempt they make to annoy him, being genuinely glad to have those particular colors on his skin.

The one who really surprises Izuna with his comment is Kagami, one of his little students. The boy is just learning his first fire jutsu, but nothing stops him from making an innocent comment about the different colored marks on his sensei's neck.

"Izuna Sensei! Are you all right?! What is that?! Did the enemy do that to you?!" The boy exclaims with concern, his eyes wide open and on the verge of tears.

Izuna, being an idiot with poor ideas, decides to play a little joke on him.

"Yes, Kagami… Yes. Today, your Sensei is coming to say goodbye. It was the Senjus, Kagami, they marked me with a deadly poison on my neck, I have little time left but..."

"NO! IZUNA SENSEI! NO!"

"It's okay Kagami, it will be quick and painless, Hikaku will continue training you and everything will be fine..."

At that moment, he decides to pretend he's starting to suffocate, grabbing his neck and acting like air isn't entering his airways. He lies down on the floor to continue his show, closing his eyes and feigning death. He struggles with all his might to keep a smile from escaping his lips, but can't help but laugh when Kagami begins to cry inconsolably.

He throws himself on his Sensei's chest, weeping and resting his head on "the lifeless body". Izuna can't contain his fit of laughter, getting up and grabbing him in a hug, showing him that he wouldn't get rid of him so easily.

When Kagami opens his eyes in disbelief, Izuna realizes, this one just awakened his Sharingan.

"Holy fuck..."

He can already hear the screams his brother will throw his way once he finds out, Kagami being too young to even have a Tomoe.

[galaxy-fleur]

oooh an eagleone truther! i enjoy them both romantically and platonically as i think that there's enough in the remake to go around for both of my needs buuut

what do you think of them? like both platonically and romantic i really wanna know another pov! :D

Oh, I adore them. They're my go-to if I wanna write Leon just being happy and fulfilled for once. I guess you could call it a comfort ship, then? I just very like how they help each other grow as people throughout RE4R. It's not anything groundbreaking, but it's sweet and genuine. And a huge romantic like me sure loves sweet and genuine!

It's kinda funny, because while in the game itself it's mostly Leon being in the 'lead' between them two due to obvious reasons, whenever I write for them after the fact, it's usually Ashley taking the reigns instead. I guess the best way to say it is: Ashley makes Leon softer, while Leon makes Ashley bolder. That's how they work in my head.

Ashley helped Leon prove to himself that he is capable of protecting those he cares about, without having to sacrifice his humanity like Krauser did. In a way, she helped him move on from his failures in Racoon City. She gave him closure he was denied in for 6 years. While Leon helped Ashley believe in herself and overcome her fears, no matter how impossible the odds she is facing are.

In a way, they both helped one another find something they were lacking before they met each other. And they found that lacking thing through their connection to each other. That's what I mean by calling their dynamic sweet and genuine! They are two people who come to care for one another and grow as people as a result of that connection. I just think that's neat.

If we're talking platonic route here, it's kinda cute to think of Ashley potentially reaching out to Leon from time to time. We don't know how exactly the Remakes storyline will differ from the OG from now on, but it's fun to imagine her maybe sharing news about her life with him, possibly arranging a meet-up with him once or twice a year or so. I think Leon will always hold a certain soft spot for her, and it'll be pretty evident in a way he visibly gets more relaxed and warm around her. And Ashley will always feel safe and comfortable with him in turn. It's also neat to imagine him attending her graduation!

Just don't think about her coming up to him and thanking him directly for how much he helped her grow as a person and find her confidence, because he will get choked up and tear up about it.

Though there will be some distance between them. It can't be helped, really. There are a lot of things that Leon simply can't be fully open and honest about, unfortunately. And he definitely would never put Ashley at risk for his own needs, either. But I do think there is some level of solace he can find in their friendship regardless. I also kinda feel like Ashley would introduce him to lots of new experiences he never would undergo otherwise, lol. She gives me huge 'try everything at least once' type of girl, and she'll be dragging Leon along whenever such a chance arises. Operating a crane is not the only weird thing she does!

Actually makes me think of him playfully teasing her about her comment on him jumping across chandeliers, while she herself now suggests taking him zip lining or something.

And if we're talking romantic? Their dynamic stays mostly the same in my head, but it gets more messy. As it often does when romantic feelings get involved, hehe. Overall, I feel like Ashley will have to be the one to make the first move between them two. It's the sort of 'she fell first, he fell harder' ordeal. Leon (remake Leon to be more specific) is the type to keep his feelings under a tight lock and key until the last moment. Mostly because he does not want to involve Ashley in the dangerous mess that is his life.

As he says in game: 'you don't need me. you proved that you could handle yourself.' And while it was said as a genuine encouragement on his part - because Ashley is stronger than she thinks, and he wants her to believe in her own strength - it was also a wordless 'I can't be there with you like you want me to, I'm sorry'.

That said, Leon is also undeniably the one to be the 'down bad loser' between the two of them. And I mean down bad. The type of down bad to look at sunset painting the clouds and think that these warm shades of red and orange remind him of Ashley. It's this bad.

That's not to say that Ashley doesn't pine for him in her own way! She's not as fundamentally lonely as Leon is, though. But that's a good thing. She actually has the opportunity to work through her feelings and come to a mature decision to act upon them one day. And once she does act upon them? Boy, will Leon fold for her, and fold fast.

Their romantic relationship would probably be messy in the beginning, as Leon has lots of stuff to work through on his own, and while Ashley will offer her warmth and comfort, it'll be up to him to actually take it, at the end of the day. And I feel like it'll take him some time to achieve that.

Either way, I do think they'll work things out. And much like their first meeting, their genuine care for one another will be the driving force behind them growing as people in their own separate lives. Ashley brings Leon some much needed warmth and comfort when he needs it most, and Leon brings Ashley a sense of support and stability, no matter what challenges life brings.

They're a team, is the best way I could phrase it!

[ppenguinpperson]

cardiomyocytes and connective tissue @nopanamaman

I’ve wanted to do a fic like this for some time now, a ‘thank you’ letter to PAFL and its community of sorts. I’m happy I finally got around to writing it:) 

I wasn’t sure whether I should do this or not, but, hey! It might make someone feel a bit better!! Or, reading the fic will. That’s enough reason, I think, and you don’t have to read this, of course, no matter who you are.

First of all, I want to talk about PAFL a bit.

The first PAFL song I listened to was PiP. I saw its thumbnail when listening to some other music youtube, and so, I listened to it. Oh boy am I glad I did:) I remember thinking how cool it is that someone's making songs for their OCs and that people are interested in them. I could see so much love for the characters in it. I was so happy when I discovered there were more songs like that!! This was around when Comfort Zone had first come out, a week or two after at most. That was two years ago. I’ve been obsessed ever since.

I love PAFL. I genuinely love that songs haven’t been coming out much lately. Like, there’s media that comes out weekly and sucks shit. I’m glad Ferry is taking their time with this!!! Even if all we get each year is one song, that’s cool, because the community is wonderful and we also get doodles and art and now patreon stuff.. yippee yay… !!! And even if we didn’t. who the fuck caressss!!!!! I love coming up with AUs and OCs and theorizing with my friends!!! the time between songs gives us time to do all that:)

The characters are so charming. Every member of the cast has been a fave of mine at some point or another. They’re all so, real! I love them! I love how they fuck up and I love how they get fucked over and I love how they get exploded and killed and shot and hugged and saved and helped!!! They’re human… might not make sense, but i rlly do like them…

It’s so neat looking back at older songs and seeing how stuff’s changed. The art style, the music, it’s all so nice to look back on. Even if I wasn’t there for it.

And don’t even get me started on the worldbuilding..  Everyone say thank you to Boris Strugackij and Arkadij Strugackij for making roadside picnic and inspiring Ferry to make this… so lovely and neat. wonderful. I have not read it myself, but I might, just to be able to make my own pafl OCs more swagger..

So. This fic.

I can��t mention two years ago without at least mentioning my depression.

I can’t remember most of last year, speaking truthfully. Parts of 2021 are also fuzzy. Depression and anxiety are terrible, would not recommend. This feels cheesy to say, but it does get better!!! Slowly, unsteadily, it gets better!!! I don’t mean for this part of the post to be a ‘feel bad for me’ thing at all. Do not. I am safe and healthy now and I couldn’t be happier to be here right now.

Is life good now?? Sorta, but what matters to me right now is, I’m happy!!! It feels so surreal. I never thought I’d be like this. A part of me wants to be angry, to get depressed again about how I could have been happy all this time. But I won’t!!! Because then I’d spiral and forget another year, and, I don’t want that!

Which is so cool!!! I can like, fucking, do stuff now!! I can throw away the bad thoughts, embrace the good ones, encourage myself!!! I do things!!! I go outside and goddd dude that’s so good!! I go outside!!!

I’m doing stuff! I’m drawing, writing, cleaning my room, taking care of myself!!! If I didn’t stay alive to enjoy these small joys, what am I even here for?? 

And I’m alive!!! I’m here!!! I made it, I’m here, writing this on 10th november, 2023, and I’m ALIVE!!!! How cool is that??? 

And yea, the world is shitty, it sucks ass, but, my friends don’t!!!:3 and that’s more than enough for me… SHOUT OUT TO MY FRIENDS!!! I LOVE YOU DUDES!!!

Moving on:

It doesn’t feel right to say that I’m here now only to PAFL. But, what I can say is that it’s been a wonderful crutch for me!! It’s been something to focus on, something silly, but also something I can relate to, and something that inspires me to make my own stuff! I’d most likely still be here, were it not for these silly songs.. but, not sure I’d be as alive as I am now! Unsure if my heart would feel right in my chest! And I wouldn’t have met my amazing friends!!!! Everyone here is so nice.

Dima may be a bit OOC in this fic, and that's because! This fic is based on my own experiences, which, i don’t think is bad…

I could talk here forever about how it gets better. Butttt to be quite honest I don’t wanna lol. I just wanna say, Thank you! to Parties are for Losers, for being cool. 

(Though I also wanna say, don’t put Ferry on a pedestal, they’re human, we all make mistakes, all that stuff.)

Ok time to go back to my manly Sergei ways and never talk about emotions ever again. or as anya would say: FUCK IT WE BALL!!!!!

[benslefteyebrow]

Hi! Hope I'm not bothering you but on one of your posts you mentioned you take fic reqs,

would you be able to write a benlor centric fic where everyone goes to an amusement park but Ben and Taylor hold off going on the bigger rides (Both dont mind going on rides as much as the others) so end up holding the bags for everyone and spending some time together? If not then that's 100% fine! Tyvm!!

Hiii thank you so much for this request! This was so fun to write! Hope you enjoy <3

Something Stupid - Benlor

Benlor, fluff, wc: 1313. Read with 'Something Stupid' by Frank Sinatra.

Ben didn’t have high expectations. 

Since losing his voice, he became used to solitude. Those around him were too impatient— unwilling to put up with a boy with anger issues and no way to communicate them.

Aiden was the only one who could understand him until the Sahara.

At first, it was obligatory and painfully awkward on occasion, but gradually, the forced meetups meant for planning became casual hangouts, and the stiff obligation to get along became a genuine connection.

“I want to go on that one!” Aiden pointed wildly at the large rollercoaster that the park was known for.  From the ground, they could hear the screams from the top large structure.

All their adventures brought them to Ash’s house, the arcade, and eventually— the amusement park.

“We just ate,” Ashlyn said exasperated.

“But the lines short,” Logan offered.

“Yeah, so, unless you’re…chicken,” Aiden teased. He was opposite to the way he was when they were kids. That made two of them.

“I’m in,” Tyler said. “Tay?”

Taylor shrugged with an uneasy smile. “No way, my stomach can’t handle it,”

Tyler’s confused expression didn’t go unnoticed by Ben, but it did go unnoticed by Aiden. “Ben?”

He shook his head.

“Shucks. You and Tay are on bag duty, then,” Aiden said.

Ben and Taylor sat at the edge of a nearby fountain. 

They put all the bags together in a somewhat neat pile at their feet.

Large groups of teens passed back and forth. The mists from the fountain sprayed Ben’s neck, but Ben was only focused on Taylor and her bouncing knee.

He tapped her and she startled in surprise. 

“What’s up?” she asked. She plastered on a small smile that didn’t hide her panic.

He held up his phone, and the music app opened on his screen.

“Oh, sure,”

Ben switched to the notes app and typed out, “U choose” before handing it to her.

He rummaged through Aiden’s backpack. He ignored the hand puzzles and other toys that Aiden would somehow use within the day and found his earbuds at the bottom.

Ben reached over and plugged the wire into the bottom of his phone.

He didn’t rush her, but he watched as she scrolled through his playlists, humming a song under her breath. He tried to remember what the song was called and made a mental note to add it to the playlist he made for her.

Her dark hair fell in her face, framing her warm skin. Ben was relieved that she seemed more relaxed.

“Mm, this one,” Taylor said. She pressed on one of Ben’s classic pop playlists, though he had a few of her indie rock ones saved. 

Still, he loved the peaceful vibes that came with it. It was his comfort playlist.

She kept the left earbud in his ear, and he accepted the right one from her. Their fingertips grazed and Ben took back his hand too quickly. He scooted closer as he adjusted the earbuds, allowing their shoulders to brush. Taylor bristled at first, but then she relaxed against him.

“You don’t like roller coasters?” Ben signed to her with clumsy fingers. It was Taylor’s idea to learn ASL for easy communication. Particularly, when they were in the phantom dimension and Ben didn’t have time to write to them. Taylor and Ben were both steadily improving at it.

Everyone else was learning it, Aiden in particular, but Ben and Taylor made the most progress.

“I do,” Taylor said slowly as she recalled the signs with her hands. “But not after eating. I don’t think my stomach could handle that.”

Ben nodded in understanding. “Lily always gets sick on rides.”

Taylor grimaced. “Poor Lily.” Her fingers fumbled over the precise letters. 

“Tyler?” Ben asked.

The panic returned to Taylor’s eyes and she glanced at the line. Ben followed her gaze, though the rest of the group had long since disappeared into the line. It looked like it was getting longer instead of shorter. 

“I used to force him to go on rides with me when we were little since our mom didn’t want to,” she said, though her fingers faltered. Ben listened intently, putting the music volume down to hear her better.

“He always said they were for kids, but I know he secretly loves them.” 

Her shoulders relaxed again against his calmness graced her features. Her brown lips curled into a small smile, pulling against her teeth.

“I’m happy to see him open up to everyone. He always tries to act so grown up, but he needs this,” Taylor looked at Ben and he was startled. "We needed this."

 He didn’t realize he was staring.

“Oh! I forgot to sign,” Taylor said. 

Ben shook his head, it’s fine, he didn’t say.

A comfortable, if not buzzing silence filled the space between them.

In the place of words, one of Ben’s favourite songs started. It was one his parents used to dance to together when he was a kid. He would along with it before his voice was ruined, and then they stopped dancing. 

I know I stand in line/Until you think you have the time/to spend the evening with me.

He wondered if they began dancing again after he moved in with Aiden.

“Do you like roller coasters?” Taylor asked.

Ben hesitated. “I did, but..” He signed slowly. It was lame, not worth admitting, but she’d just been vulnerable with him. He trusted her not to judge him.

And then I go and spoil it all/By saying something stupid like, “I love you”

His breath hitched.

“I can’t--“ won’t, his mind reprimanded him. “Scream. It feels…” his fingers curled into his palms.

“Like there’s something wrong with you?” Taylor offered.

He nodded. “That.”

They let the song fill the space again. Ben put the volume up, and Taylor hummed along quietly.

“This song is nice,” Taylor said.

I practice every day/To find some clever lines to say/To make the meaning come true.

He drummed his fingers against his pants, not exactly on the beat. It was a distraction from his quickening pulse.

But then I think I'll wait/Until the evening gets late/And I'm alone with you.

“Hey, Ben?” Taylor said.

He looked at her. He looked into her eyes and knew he must’ve heard his heart. Why was it so loud in his ears?

“When they get back, let’s go on a roller coaster together. Just us, and…” she tucked her hair behind her hair uncomfortably.

The time is right, your perfume fills my head/The stars get red, and, oh, the night's so blue.

“Whoever screams first loses,” Taylor said.

Though he knew the song from memory, he missed the lyric that came after over the snort that escaped him.

He slapped a hand over his mouth. The sound was pitchy. Did he always laugh like that? He couldn’t remember the last time he heard himself laugh.

But with Taylor, it came easily. She knew exactly what to say.

“Is that a…” Taylor’s eyes widened.

“Yes,” Ben signed. “I’d like that,”

He dropped his hand from his face and it grazed Taylor’s thigh as it landed carelessly between them. He didn’t miss the way her finger grazed his or the way their pinkies locked as the last part of the song faded out.

I love you

They caught sight of the rest of the group from the line. They waved to each other until the movement of the line pushed them out of sight again.

I love you

Throughout it all, their pinkies stayed interlocked, and it was a sign of their promise.

I love you

[positivelybeastly]

X-Men #1

So. The big day!

Let's go.

Absolutely adore that it takes Hank the space of one panel to get Chief Robbins to go from shouting in surprise to smiling at him. Hank is honestly just effortlessly charming, and it really shows here.

This entire first issue is very Morrison in terms of continuity, with what I'm pretty sure is even a direct callback to New X-Men #115.

Feral bash brother and sister Magik and Juggernaut will never not make me smile. I'm genuinely so here for them to be a chaotic gremlin BrOTP in this series.

So jazzed for Idie to get some spotlight again. Outside of WatXM and her role in the Krakoan Exiles, she really hasn't gotten a lot of love, and I very much enjoyed her turn as the Storm of the team, deploying ice cover for the combat landing.

Glob Herman, you will always be iconic. Also, Hank, you're enjoying yourself entirely too much.

"B-But my husband lost his job at the Lockheed Martin factory where they make the bombs that cut children into a billion pieces! Won't you please think of our jerbs?!"

No.

Jesus Christ. Literally taking it out of him in chunks. Last time I saw Logan fucked up this badly by someone with a knife, it was in X-Force, and it was - oh. Oh yeah. Oops.

Well, anyway!

Always here for telepathic relay bullshit. There's something really just delightful about the sentence 'Dumping them into the common knowledge pool.' It's just very Morrison.

John Sublime and the U-Men . . .

I love supportive, nurturing Scott. Legitimately one of the best hats that Scott gets to wear. Also, rebound shots are always fucking cool.

That refraction is cool shit. There's just a lot of really neat visual flair going on in the combat, and it shows rather than tells us that Scott really is just as good as Hank hypes him up to be.

Cute.

One: who the hell put that needlework up on the wall? Because that's brilliant. I desperately want to see a "Bless this Mess," or a "Live, Laugh, Love," at some point.

Two: Hank bakes! He bakes Jewish shortbread! I wonder if MacKay knows that Hank speaks fluent Yiddish and decided to expand that to a wider interest in Jewish culture and food? Fucking cool shit.

OIHEPOAIGHSDAP[OUIHGOUHG

ADE[OIGHJEADPOUIGHSGOIUH

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS.

This is so good.

That one-two punch of Hank's burning, bristling fury at his previous self for denying himself the pleasure of Krakoa as well as denying him his memories of it, and the meaningful nod in the direction of X-Force, is so fucking good.

This is exactly how I figured Hank would react, and, like, I'm not gonna go ahead and say Jed MacKay is an amazing writer just because he writes Hank like I do, but fuck, it sure as hell makes me happy!

I also really like Stegman's art here because it evokes a simple fact of Hank's appearance - he's meant to be slightly uncanny and scary and able to switch from cuddly teddy bear to beast on a dime. The Morrison is strong here, the pleasant, bubbling layer of frothy cultured genius hiding a whirlpool of complicated emotions and self-hatred, and I couldn't be more enthralled.

I can't believe I'm actually getting acknowledgement of the fact that the rest of X-Force was just as complicit in what Beast did as he was, and that they do not, in fact, get a free fucking pass for being shitheads who did morally bankrupt things on a whim.

Giggling. Squealing. Kicking my feet.

Hims.

Hank is so deeply tired of Max's shit, I love it. "This is the fourth time this week you've pulled the intimidating hover chair flex on a passing human, Max, are you going to get tired of it eventually?"

Hank is rolling his eyes at this. God, what a good voice for Magneto here, honestly, and a decent continuation of the whole Ewing retcon about how 60s Magneto's characterisation fits into the wider whole.

Hank is the open hand. Scott is the fist. Max is the sleeping dragon. God, what a fucking good trinity, I adore it.

"Henry has a soft touch. He always has."

I've run out of image space, but Magneto's, "Tell me he will die on a mission soon," in response to Quentin is hilarious.

Genuinely adore the quiet moment on the roof between Hank and Scott. It's so nice to see these two as friends again, like it all never changed. I'm deeply curious to see if the knowledge of X-Force and everything that happened will change how the rest of the team views Hank, or if Hank's the only one who holds that against himself, but regardless, it's nice to see these two just kicking it with some beers.

Love the power move of leaving the Sentinel looming, midway through powering up its laser, over the town for a bit. "Don't forget, you owe us, we don't owe you."

That teaser is nice and ominous, even if it doesn't mean a ton just yet.

Overall, really good #1! I'm intensely excited to see where the rest of the run takes us, even if we do have to wait until August to see the next part.

Now, to go make caps . . .

[system-of-a-feather]

Re-establishing Baseline Plan

Since moving, I've (completely understandably and expectedly) had my baseline kinda fucked (did not help by with financial stress + job incompatibility + ear infection + really bad post ear infection cold + probable norovirus in literally one month) and so I've been really overloaded, stressed, and just in a place of mostly survival mode where most of my energy is focused on maintaining my mental and physical state in the easiest manners possible

I have been holding up well all things considered and have set up for a probably more compatible job + my fiance has managed to get a job again that he feels will probably work out well for him and I have at least like a week off between jobs to reorientate myself

So to take a good and active effort to make the best of this time, I want to make a plan to set myself up for success. I actually do this every so often when I really need to pick myself up (historically Lucille would usually do it but pros of being basically fully integrated is that I am Lucille as well as me) and I figured it would be a neat thing to display and demonstrate here cause I'd end up making it *anyways* so why not share with the class

If anyone likes this, yall can borrow it ^^

-----

Question One: What current coping skills and hobbies am I currently doing and trying with my time? Are they affective and would I like to change them?

Art, Drawing, Character Design, Art Fight Prep, Story Planning and Writing

This is one of the easiest and most reliable positive coping mechanisms and has gotten me through the majority of the month mostly on it's own. Compared to other coping mechanisms, this one is almost always something I can drag myself to do or at least ask someone to supervise me to make sure I do it when I feel I need some sort of self care. It serves greatly as an alternative when I find that I am doing maladaptive coping that I would rather not do and when in doubt, it has access to some level of social engagement should I feel I need that. With that being said, having relied largely on this for a month, this is suffering diminishing returns and starting to lead to general lack of inspiration and so diversification from this coping mechanism would be ideal

Weekend Gym Trips

This is actually a really good way for me to release energy, give myself space and time to think, and just feel better moving and existing in my body. It also mandates time for me to listen to music and serves a meditative purpose. That said, I have only been doing this on Saturdays and only once on Sunday and I would like to expand that to be at least 3 times a week or at least more spaced out.

Reading Semi Regularly

This is a new habit and coping I picked up and its actually really good! It provides a unique sense of calm when I need it. Unfortunately I've started to drop off the past week due to general stress and illness, so I think its important to return to this. Perhaps set a general goal of "every other day" rather than every day to lessen the pressure.

Video Games

This was helpful but lately I have been not motivated to play anything and I believe its been burnt out. I think it would be good to resume this but it is currently impractical to force at the moment until overall wellness has returned.

TV with Boy

This is helpful but unforunately nothing seems to interest either of us to watch right now. (cri life is hard /lh)

Board Games with Boy

This is a new one and has actually been very nice. That said, it isn't always available and dependent on my fiance's ability to have the energy, time and interest to play them, particularly since I know he is less interested in board games than me. It is good to maintain the interest and offer, but not a coping skill to become reliant on.

Question Two: What sorts of things that I am currently not doing do I know tend to define behaviors, habits, hobbies, and interests that are done when I am out of survival mode and genuinely enjoying life?

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

Engagement in Exploration and just independent travels without individuals

Engagement and interest in occasionally reaching out to Buddhist environments

Producing art work for the story that is more developed and inspired rather than "quick" or "reference" focused - actually focusing on the creative and artistic expression rather than the practical expression

Increased social circle communication irl beyond my online bestie, fiance, and online friend group chat; reaching out to individuals and developing new irl friendships

Question Three: Which of those hobbies do I think could be the most reasonable and easy to meet sooner than later (even better if I can make steps to start that right now / today)? In what ways could I make steps to make those first changes and help set myself up for success on expanding my engagement with life beyond survival mode?

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

While I am not extensively motivated in any manner to watch anything in particular, I am starting to randomly get a lot of bleach related stuff on my youtube and I have been meaning to watch TYBW arc. I have been postponing it because of arbitrary "I wanna read the manga first" and just general other excuses, but realistically those are putting up barriers that I may not get to at this rate and currently I could just use something I'm somewhat interested in to give me some independent relaxing engagement. I think I can set the goal of actually watching Bleach TYBW at least an episode a day starting either today or tomorrow and see if that can bring a momentum and habit into actually being able to watch things that interest me on my own.

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

I can probably actually take my violin back out. The guitar would probably be better but for whatever reason I feel that my brain thinks that would require more - for a lack of better word - work, so I think I can at least try to find time this week to at least play a little bit of my violin.

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers + "increased social irl connection [...]"

I can reach out and text my new irl birding connections to see if they are interested; if not I can at least plan to take a birding trip later

Engagement in Buddhist Stuff

I know there is an area I've been thinking of visiting that has free english services on Tuesday, I can make plans to go there that day, particularly since my Fiance should be working for the first day then anyways.

Question Four: What are additional goals and check points that we would like to try to bring us closer to the life style that we know tends to support a thriving mental state and life satisfaction rather than one of survival?

Independent Travels

During the time I have, I can keep in mind this goal and if I have down time think of potentially interesting and alternative places to go to explore; additionally I can plan birding trips to places I have not yet checked out.

Increased Social IRL Connection

It is dependent on if my now-ex-coworker still is interested, but I can follow up and see if we want to still play board games; if not I think potential more ways to reach out will be more viable to plan once a higher level of baseline is established; potentially see if there are any in person DnD groups around that I could make a habit of going to or any martial art dojos that we can afford

More Inspired Art

I think this is something that will come with time between lessening the burn out of my current art-as-a-coping mechanism goal as well as actually engaging in more media and independent interests as to gain more inspiration.

Question Five: Summarize the Key Points and Plans Discussed in This into a Bullet Points of Take Aways

Modifying Current Coping:

Diversify and lean off of using art as a main coping mechanism; give that one a break

Attempt to go to the gym more frequently or at least space it out more throughout the week

Continue reading; lessen the ideal to every other day in case demand pressure is adversely affecting it

Keep an open interest in playing board games with fiance

Changes I Want To Make Soon:

Start watching Bleach TYBW w/ at least one episode a day

Bring out my violin and try to at least play with it for one hour this week

Reach out to new bird peers to see if they want to plan a birding trip sometime, if not then plan one independently

Make plans to go to that place on Tuesday for the open Buddhist service

Changes to Keep an Eye Out For:

Opportunities to go somewhere new randomly for no particular reason or goal in mind other than to just see whats around us

Spoons and time availability to see out places to expand our irl social circles

Inspiration for art in general

Question Six: Set for Regular Follow Ups to Check Progress

Isn't tumblr's queue / schedule function super neat for this

[spearxwind]

Since you're on the topic I have genuine question about AI art designs from a non-artist.

In your opinion would using an AI tool to generate a reference for a commission (whether it be for character design or pose) be an appropriate use of said tools?

I thought about this as well and I gotta say, personally I don't think so.

Barring for the purpose of this ask the whole "AI art is stolen art" thing (which I stand by fiercely), AI generated images are really janky, especially reference sheets. There are details everywhere that make no fucking sense, anatomy is deformed, they have a lot of nonsensical parts to them so its just one big jumble of nothing.

And, it's pulling from designs created by existing artists and warping them to fit your prompt. It's work that another artist already made, used by an AI that's trained on a specific dataset. It also pulls from popular things that people enjoy: tried and true color combos, the most popular shapes that big artists use, theres a LOT of waifus, and a lot of the art genuinely comes in the same painterly style that's really hard to color pick from. some even come with color swatches that don't match the colors on the reference

In short, it's just a machine generating something that looks neat at first glance, and then is actual hot garbage when you just... look at it closely. Not to mention that an AI prompt can be iterated, and the AI pulls from everything it has, for every prompt, so what you end up getting is completely samey designs with small changes. Good for concept art assistance, but not if you want to create a Legit Character. The AI will give you something that it has already spit out a thousand times over and then some, with no regards to composition, design technique, color theory, because all it knows is what it has been fed and what the artists its ripping off of know (meaning if they have mistakes, the AI will as well. But in a far less human way)

Meanwhile, when you commission someone you are likely to go for someone whos art style will actually fit what you want to get, or someone whos art style you enjoy. Usually these artists will be people you've followed for a while and you at least know them enough to know what they can do. And they are also reactive, you can tell them to actually change and tweak details of what they're making for you. And not taking into account the bad actors out there (as there are always bad actors in every discipline) you will have something that has been made specifically FOR you, not just what a machine thinks you would perceive as eye candy.

As for poses... just draw it badly in ms paint. The AI will not give you the pose you want for the aforementioned reason: broken anatomy (and also because it will pull from its dataset of poses it can warp features onto. It's a lot more limited than you think.) If you want a pose prompt for a commission just draw it really badly in ms paint or on a napkin and write annotations for the artist (arm goes here, this guy is grabbing this thing, etc etc) Most of us if not all of us will GLADLY interpret your pose for you and draw whatever you want us to.

And like. Literally if you're going to get commissions anyway, why not commission a design first thing of all?? Or buy an adoptable from people who already make them by hand? It will genuinely be so much better than just hoping a machine does all the work for you. Please support artists

[sometimesraven]

Finally got around to watching 73 Yards! (Ik there was a screening at MCM but I didn't know about it until it was too late) It was a decent, solid episode!

The pub scene was giving Gaiman vibes a little bit, which I love, and I adore that they're all genuinely just a bunch of normal Welsh villagefolk fucking with the English kid lmao

The plot kinda gives out a lil when she goes back to London but not in a way that I think is a deal-breaker. It remains enjoyable, I just wish there'd been a lil more build-up to the ap Gwilliam plot and his connection to Mad Jack. The implied SA was also,,,, completely unnecessary and doesn't look good on Ruby's character that she's willing to look the other way just to get One Specific Victory. It felt kinda shoehorned in to make Gwilliam More Evil like he wasn't already. I'm also not sure how I feel about Ruby's characterisation in general. I didn't get much from her and I can't tell if it's bc it was Millie's first day and therefore she was still getting a feel for her character, or if it was something in the writing, but she fell a little flat in places for me. For a companion-focused episode we didn't actually get much focus on her as a person, yanno?

The resolution was neat though, and I enjoy that the woman + what she says will be a mystery forever. I know it's kinda up in the air how Ruby became the Woman but given all the fantasy elements this season I don't think it matters all too much. Maybe breaking the fae circle gave her some fae power who knows lmao.

All in all it was a solid episode. Flawed, as many DW stories are, but enjoyable and there was nothing criminally wrong with it outside of the SA subplot so solid 7/10 or around there