#something something i’d have 2 nickels

[blxem1lk]

purple girls love to naruto run

[crossbackpoke-check]

it’s all the rest of what i want with you

connor dewar/brandon duhaime :: 8k

Summary:

“Brandon,” Connor says with a sigh. “There’s no baby in there.”

“Not yet,” Brandon says. Connor feels his stomach twist, almost like what he would imagine a baby kicking to feel like.

in these trying times of dewvorce, may i offer you 8k of pwp inspired by @stillfertile’s wonderful art which i had. several breakdowns about 🫶 anyway please enjoy!!!

[slurpeesoverromance]

Happy birthday 2 so much (for) stardust and also me failing my drivers test 🎉

[cyber-streak-2]

For mutual bingo ♡

Most times, I end up staying up pretty late (to like 1am or a little later), purely because I’m doing other stuff, and then I look at the time, and then I’m just like “Huh.”

[ssruis]

I love when I just say shit randomly (nene/torpe comparison) & then later find out I was completely correct.

I think the specific choice of having torpe be the earliest character tsukasa has to grow to understand not just thru acting but thru empathizing is really good wrt nene + tsukasa’s dynamic like… nene is probably the character who is the closest to torpe wrt anxiety getting in the way of performing and tsukasa going from “this dude is pathetic” to “ohh i get it now” mirrors the main story. a little.

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic!Danny Phantom- pt. 8

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve been to the hospital in the past three years, I’d have enough money to buy a bag of skittles from Target. Most of it wasn’t for me though lol I’ll add this onto the list in a bit, but I tend to do that from my desktop but I’m still currently attached to an IV drip. I’ve also never been this hydrated in my life lmao

——

Danny poked a puffed up pufferfish. The poison floated through his ghost form and did nothing but give him a little zap. Danny chuckled, wiping away a bit of oil that had gotten onto the fish from a nearby oil spill. Jesus fuck. Danny knew that bald headed, easily drawn Vlad wannabe from across the river would do something terrible to Gotham’s waters (not that it needed help being atrocious to Danny’s clean water appreciation).

The puffer fish- Danny gave up on understanding Gotham’s water ecosystem, having realized that it was a cursed mix of saltwater and freshwater and swamp- gave a fearful little wiggle and Danny let it go, turning to the oil particles floating around.

Danny took out his phone.

“Danny? Why the hell are you calling at three in the morning?”

Danny raised a hand and blasted out some ice, gathering the oil up. “Hey Sam. If I got you into contact with Poison Ivy, do you think you could team up to get rid of Lex Luthor’s new holding company in Gotham?”

“Danny, are you asking me to commit an act of ecoterrorism?”

“That’s not even the weirdest thing I’ve ever asked you to do.” Danny placed a hand on the ice mass and flew it, the oil, and himself across the river to Metropolis.

“Deal.” Sam’s voice gets further away as she pulled her phone from her ear. “I’ll text Tucker, see if he could futz with Luthor’s taxes. I heard her doesn’t even give his workers a livable wage, and that’s so not gonna fly.”

“Perfect! Thanks! We could totally meet up and hang out with my new friends!”

“Hah! That Tim guy? The one that wanted you to introduce Phantom to him?”

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, goth girl.”

“Sure, dork. I’ll swing by Friday?”

“Sure! Want me to pick you up?” Danny phased through Lex Luthor’s frankly ridiculous amounts of security measures, still completely invisible and towing a giant mass of oil covered ice.

“Cool. Now hang up. I actually need sleep.”

“Ah, you must be dead tired. I get it.”

Sam hung up, and a second later, Danny got a pic of her holding up a middle finger with her signature purple nail polish.

Danny stared down at the sleeping billionaire. Gross. He let his face re enter the visible spectrum and lowered the temperature of the room drastically. Luthor groaned, waking up as he shivered like a hyped up chihuahua.

Danny bared his teeth, glowing green skin reflecting the black holes of the universe and imploding stars and burning planets as he leaned towards the frozen two bit villain.

“RESPECT THE PLANET,” Danny snarled. He unmelted the invisible ice as he simultaneously made the oil visible, the entirety of the oil spill coating every single inch of Luthor’s penthouse bedroom. Danny winked out, but not before snapping a quick picture of Lex Luthor’s absolutely covered in his company’s oil spill.

If Danny had made sure that there were fish droppings mixed in with the oil… that was his own damn business.

——

Danny floated over to a brooding Batman.

“Do you have two hundred dollars on you?” Danny asked in lieu of a greeting.

Batman grunted a yes.

“Two hundred dollars for a photo of Lex Luthor being hit with karma.”

Batman instantly handed over the cash and received a printed out photo of Lex Luthor (in his Lexcorp pjs) covered by fossil fuel.

"Is this..."

"The oil from his oil spill? Yes."

Batman stared at the picture.

"Why was this more expensive than ID'ing corpses?"

"Cause it's funnier. And dead people deserve more consideration than a egg looking ass polluting everything he touches."

Superman zoomed into the space in front of them, face eager.

"I heard you had something about Luthor?"

Danny figured that Batman probably contacted the hero, and confidently said, "$200 for personal use, $300 for commercial use."

Superman quickly got together three hundred dollars in cash and quickly forked it over. Danny gave him another physical copy of the photo and a usb drive with the photo in a digital format.

"I am so pinning this up." Superman muttered.

"Get out of my city." Batman said flatly. Superman waved a hand, beamed at Danny, and left.

"Did you know Gotham's waters is a mixture of freshwater, swamp, and saltwater habitats?"

Batman grunted.

"Also, please stop stalking Danny Fenton. It's odd."

Batman swiveled his head over. "What."

Danny stared him down. "Stop. Stalking. Innocent. Bystanders. Or else I will recreate the phrase "drowned rat" with you as the subject."

Batman stilled.

"I don't kill, by the way. I can, however, dunk you in the sea and lift you up like a goth version of Simba."

Batman relaxed minutely. "I can't."

"And why not?"

Batman gave him a despairing look. "Have you met my children?"

"... Point."

[mommyownsmee]

100 WAYS TO GET BACK AT AN UNWANTED DICKPIC — HAVE FUN! x

1. That’s adorable. Does it come in a size for adults?

2. I’ve seen worms on the sidewalk after it rains that look more impressive.

3. Wow, I didn’t realize you were doing charity work for guys with disappointing anatomy.

4. Ah, a dick pic. Here we go again. The male equivalent of a participation trophy. Completely unnecessary and nobody here asked for it.

5. Bold of you to assume I was desperate enough to be impressed by that.

6. I was having a good day before you sent me that, and now I have to cleanse my phone with fire. Thanks.

7. Is this supposed to be a threat or a cry for help?

8. Sorry, I do not accept unsolicited junk mail :)

9. I hope you didn’t mean for this to be sexy because it just made me laugh out loud😂

10. This looks like something I’d have to scrape off my shoe.

11. Bless your heart, I really didn’t know they made them in travel sizes👀

12. I’ve seen bigger clits.

13. You sent me this like it was supposed to be a treat, but it’s giving medical anomaly.

14. I’d be more impressed if you sent me a credit score over 700

15. Imagine thinking this was the move. Tragic.

16. This is why women fake orgasms.

17. Bro, fr, this is the digital equivalent of flashing someone on a subway—except no one gasped, they just laughed!

18. That’s crazy! Thanks! Anyway, what’s it like living life as a disappointment?

19. Your dick looks like it’s about to deliver bad news in a Disney movie😂

20. You sent this expecting what? Me to be turned on? Sweetie, I’ve seen sexier things in biology textbooks👀

21. You should try OnlyFans. Not for money; just to learn what a decent dick actually looks like!

22. I’d roast it, but it looks like life already did😂

23. Is this a dick pic or a cry for help? Blink twice if you need a hug, bro… (not help because they could say we should help get them off)

24. Your poor mother carried you for nine months for this?

25. Sorry, I don’t accept coupons for disappointment😂

26. Why are you holding a lima bean?

27. If I wanted to see something this pathetic, I’d look at your bank account❤️‍🩹

28. Do you have health insurance? Because that looks concerning😭

29. I’ve seen bachelorette party straws that were more impressive :)

30. Sweetie, I’m gonna need binoculars…

31. Your dick looks like it has performance anxiety😂

32. My vibrator is laughing at you right now.

33. Are you the guy that got the mouse dick transplant? I can tell!

34. Your dick has the same energy as an unseasoned chicken breast.

35. It looks like it’s trying to apologize for existing!😭

36. Bro, did you crop out the ruler because it was too humiliating?😂

37. No wonder you’re single. Even your dick looks like it doesn’t want to be with you.

38. If I had a nickel for every time I saw an unimpressive dick, I’d be richer than you🤑

39. Your dick looks like it’s on probation!?

40. Did you scare it before taking the picture?

41: You‘re just proving my point by showing me how disappointing your dick is!

42: You should frame this as a warning to other men about the dangers of inbreeding!

43. This belongs in a museum exhibit called „Why She Faked It.“

44: Your dick looks like it gives out WiFi signals in the 1800s☹️

45: Do you have to jack off with tweezers?

46: Sir, that’s not a dick, that’s an overconfident skin tag.

47: I zoomed in as much as I can but I still can’t see anything?

48: This should come with a disclaimer: „Objects in picture are even smaller than they appear.“

49: I’d tell you to go fuck yourself, but based on this, I don’t think you’d even feel it????

50. If I wanted to see something this pathetic and underwhelming, I’d watch a nature documentary on endangered worms.

51: Deep throating isn’t even option for you is it? The best you got is teeth tapping and even that’s just a maybe…

52: Your dick looks like it apologizes before it even gets hard😂

53: It looks like it came with a participation ribbon.

54. Your dick should come with a warning label „Caution: May cause depression“.

55: Your dick has the same energy as a flat soda—sad, disappointing, and nobody wants it.♥️

56: You should get that checked, like—medically…

57: Did you take this picture with a microscope, or is that actually it?????

58: Soooo… Where is it? 👀

59: This looks like something an archaeologist would dig up and struggle to identify👀

60: I’d offer constructive criticism, but I don’t think there’s enough material to work with🤷🏻

61: This looks like it would give up after 30 seconds and need a nap😭

62: This is you

63: Are you sure you sent me a dick pic? Because this looks more like an unfortunate birth defect?!😵‍💫

64: You know I have your moms number, right?

65: That thing has the same energy as a man who says „nice guys finish last.“

66: I’d call it ‘cute,’ but I don’t want to insult babies and small animals.🥺

67: Who ever told you your dick is „amazing“ is a liar and probably faked their orgasm🥰

68: This looks like something that legally shouldn’t be exposed to direct sunlight☹️

69: That’s practically an innie at this point.

70: I would file a report but its really not even worth doing the paperwork.

71: Your dick looks like it’s in a permanent state of stage fright.

72: Does it only come out when it rains?

73: Your dick looks like it would ghost me before I even had the chance to block you.

74: It looks like it suffers from low self-esteem, and honestly, it should.

75: Oh wow, I love puzzles! This one is called „find the dick“, right??

76: What ever rock your dick crawled out from under, it needs to go back.

77: Are you sure this isn’t a „spot the difference“ challenge? Because I’m struggling to see one between this and a raw baby carrot?!

78: I’ve seen crayons in kindergarten classrooms with more length and stamina.

79: I think I found your lookalike! looked up tardigrade. The resemblance is uncanny.

80: This looks like a rejected emoji😒

81: Did you have a circumcision or a castration?♥️

82: You should consider doing drag, you wouldn’t even have to tuck with that.

83: Wow, you must have really low standards if that’s your best shot. Good luck with that.

84: Your dick looks like it would ask me to „lower my standards“ in a dating app bio.

85: Is this your way of saying 'I'm compensating for something,' or are you just really into abstract art?

86: Sending this is like offering someone a burnt slice of toast and expecting a „thank you“.

87: You really saw that in your camera roll and thought, „Yes, this is the one“??

88: I’d tell you to grow up, but I see you’re struggling to grow anything at all.

89: Your dick looks like it’s been buffering since birth.

90: Dial up moved faster than your dick.

91: You sent this like it was a gift. Babe, I’d rather receive a parking ticket.

92: If I wanted to see something this sad and underwhelming, I’d watch a sloth try to use an escalator.

93: Is this a „before“ photo for a shrinkage study, or did you just forget to send the „after“ one?

94: Why did you send this to me? Your dick is so tiny I can’t even roast it.

95: Ah, I see you’re auditioning for „Small Parts: The Movie.“ Best of luck with the casting!

96: I’m not into feet, so I can’t figure out for the life of me why you sent me a photo of a pinky toe.

97: Does your mom make you pay rent to stay in the basement or does she keep you there for free so the rest of us don’t have to see you?

98: You should probably go try catching fish and not women with that little bait worm you got there.

99: If i show this to a straight woman she’ll probably become a lesbian.

100: Naked mole rats carry a lot of diseases. You should probably go wash your hands.

A BIG THANK YOU GOES OUT TO ALL OF MY MEMBERS OF MY SAPPHIC GROUP CHAT WHO HELPED AND PUSHED ME TO DO THIS! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!♥️

[drdemonprince]

Hello! I have a quick fun story for you. I recently started seeing a new therapist and after describing my experience (with something or whatever) they (politely) clocked me as neurodivergent. Then they asked if I was familiar with “Devon Prince’s” work which, is 1) super cool that they’re recommending your works, and 2) insanely wild to me… Because I know you from tumblr, and the whiplash of being in therapy and having my therapist ask “hey do you know Mr. Dr. Kink positive/horny on main/Author tumblr fellow?” hit me so hard I got dizzy and needed a minute. For the record my therapist recommended Unmasking Autism :). Anyway, cheers! Thanks for being a such a cool guy. If some how another tumblr famous person comes up in therapy, well I’d have 2 nickels, but it still be weird if it happened twice.

therapists love me for my shamelessly addicted to pokemon hentai swag

[jackandjoker]

my top shows of 2024 (better late than never)

1. jack and joker (act surprised)

this was my first ever thai show and GOSH was i in for a ride.. i legit started watching this for fun because i saw an edit and i found the name ‘joke’ very funny… oh how times change.

this show was made for me, it’s perfect to me, i can talk about it forever and i will.

2. peaceful property

to think i almost didn’t watch this because the poster didn’t interest me 😭

but this is so underrated i think? it was everything to me, each story was special and made me feel so many things. the phoomvicha episode made me cry the most, along with ep 8 😞

3. last twilight

this is the 2nd show from P’Aof that i’ve seen and i think he’s gotten a spot in my favourite directors list. definitely not without faults, but still unique and beautiful and i loved it. also cried a hell lot… and i hope i can get mhok’s fart proudly shirt one day.

4. let free the curse of taekwondo

my first ever korean drama and it will not be the last!! i loved this so much, i only wish it was longer. i’m patiently waiting for all my exams to end so i can watch all of hwang da-seul’s filmography.

5. i hear the sunspot

so many firsts in this post- this is the show that introduced me to the world of asian bl… my first ever asian drama <3

i love kohei & taichi with all of my heart and although they seem to be the kings of miscommunication, they found each other in the end. and i desperately want to try that burger.

6. interview with the vampire s2

iwtv is my kind of crazy, i love them all 🤲

not much to say about this one but it’s one of the 3 shows i’ve given a perfect 5/5 rating so far. (others are j&j and derry girls).

7. the on1y one

patiently waiting for season 2🥹

these two had my entire heart 😭😭 something about this show that makes me feel so much comfort… and it’s gorgeous so that’s a plus. (my first ever taiwanese drama- sorry)

8. takara’s treasure

this was just so cute 🥹 they’re adorable and it’s just a light and fluffy show and i love that. i took care of an abandoned kitty for a while and named her takara because i considered her my treasure lol.

9. 23.5

loser lesbians <3333

if onsga and aylin had a daughter, it would be me. 100%. i love milklove and i’m impatiently waiting for whale store xoxo. and i love how view is like the girl version of mark pakin because i adore her and keep seeing her in random stuff i watch.

10. see your love

this was just so fun🥺 the best 20 mins i had every wednesday for 12 weeks. both the main leads and johnathan & xin jia have my heart, along with shu he and shaopeng’s parents. i love amazing supportive parents in bls 🥹🩵

some other favs under the cut :)

non 2024 shows i loved-

moonlight chicken

i need more series like this because 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵 it was so gorgeous omg and it was too short 😞😞

when i watched the first ep i didn’t think i’d like it but still continued and i’m so glad because it only got better and better. and i hope whoever decided to make earthmix firstkhao gem4 sing the moon represents the heart never has a bad day in their life. i love it so much.

the best story

when are we getting the dew story yinwar?? 😭🥺 if i had a nickel for everytime war cried after seeing yin with a girl, i would have 3 nickels. maybe more if i start counting their music videos

cherry magic thailand

i wanted more taynew after peaceful property and damn!! karan was whipped 😭 it’s funny how his thoughts were like that when he had a gaystraight face the entire time

other 2024 shows that i enjoyed:

sugar dog life

i love shows that involve cooking and i love characters who bond over food. so obviously i loved this. similar to takara’s treasure, a feel good show.

caged again

it got a bit messy around the end and the story took turns i wasnt expecting, which was fine, but i felt it was different from the premise if that makes sense? i loved it still and i would definitely like to see more of ben & jay.

my love mix up th

i randomly watched this on my period and honestly it made me laugh so much so i’m biased 😭 some stupid stuff did bother me but overall very slay <3 i’m glad chokun has a main role now, after this & peaceful property 🥺

[i-may-be-an-emu]

If I had a nickel for every time Sam played a character that very clearly didn’t know the Heimlich maneuver, I’d have at least 2 nickels. (Necrophilia Ned and now Amy the waitress, although I’m sure I’m just forgetting some.)

IKR 😂 (I don’t think you’re forgetting any but I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d done something similar other times lol :))

here have this 🫴

[warblogs17282]

If I had a nickel for every time Helluva Boss Season 2 introduced a new aquatic demon character that was later killed at the end of the same episode they debuted in, then I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it’s happened twice.

tbh I do wonder if Chaz is gonna appear again in a flashback or something, because we've seen a flashback to when Moxxie and Chaz were in a relationship with each other in s2 e3, and we also know that Chaz was in a relationship with Millie at some point, which hasn't been expanded on all that much as of right now

[butterpuffed]

SURPRISE NEW GHOST SPECIES!!!

if I had a nickel every time I added something to valenpacs day I’d have 2 nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice /silly

[quotidianish]

If I had a nickel for every time I drew something about projecting the anguish someone have caused you onto a doppelgänger of said person I’d have 2 nickels. Love LOSES. war and hate on the planet eart

[booksandchainmail]

If I had a nickel etc etc

“I cannot,” the shade bit out. “I have been caught in your nav for so long there is hardly a difference left between me and it. And even now that you know I exist, you still use me like a well to throw in all the thoughts you won’t dirty yourself with.” “You steal these,” Maryam snarled. “I give you nothing.” The shade sneered at her. “I do not particularly care for Abrascal,” it said, “but I’d fuck him. Where is that from, I wonder?” Maryam drew back like she’d been struck in the stomach. She might as well have been. That was, it wasn’t- “We aren’t like that,” she said. “You-” “You might be, if he were interested,” the shade said. “He isn’t, though, so you bury it so deep I get to think about what his forearms look like when he rolls up his sleeves and how his shirt sticks to him when he’s sweating. Ugh.”

Pale Lights Book 2 Chapter 49

“How in the world is it you’re so damned clueless and innocent about matters, and then, there, with her, you’re different?  She even noticed it, almost right off the bat.  That you were flirting, that you were interested in a way that you usually aren’t.” “Oh,” I said.  “That.” “You’ve missed and inadvertently stumbled on rude innuendo a hundred times in the last six months.  I just can’t reconcile that with this.” I put two fingers to my head, then turned them, as if I were turning a key in the lock. “What?” Jamie asked. “Wyvern,” I said.  “You gave me my appointment just yesterday.  I was anticipating this.  This time with Lillian.  So I took those feelings and ideas out of the box.” “The box,” Jamie said.  There was a kind of horror on his face. “Yeah.  Compartmentalized it, buried it, locked it away.” “Sy, you can’t- you can’t do that.” “Why not?” I asked, offended. “Because it’s one thing if they warp you, if this messed up existence of ours and life with the Academy twists us around and makes us strange, but it’s something else altogether if you do it to yourself!” I shook my head. “That’s not f-” Jamie started.  He shook his head.  “That’s not good, Sy.  Why would you even do that in the first place?” “Because of the nights I spent with Mary.  The nights I slept with Lillian?  At first, anyhow.  I guess I did it because I didn’t want to spoil that.  Didn’t want it to get weird, didn’t want to push them away.  Those moment, frozen in time, were good enough as they were.  I didn’t want to let those feelings push me to change that and risk breaking it.  So I made myself innocent.  More innocent.”

Twig 13.11

[artem1sc0re]

If I had a nickel for everytime i compared something watch dogs related upon first impression to some aspect of the Lego movie, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice, right? /ref

My first impression of the whole concept in legion was “is watch dogs legion essentially the Lego movie and dedsec are the master builders meanwhile Albion’s octan?” (Commenting from a ‘where are you dedsec?’ Graffiti in the opening) “where are you master builders?”

Then another first impression I had was when I played the first watch dogs, and Aiden’s voice instantly reminded me of Batman (SPECIFICALLY the Lego movie one, not any other); which during the opening scene I proceeded to look up the two voice actors and was disappointed when I found out it wasn’t the case

I find it very funny how it’s 2 instances during my first playthrough of the franchise that link back to the Lego movie out of everything else

[aleeyenn]

Hi! I just have one question to ask and something else to say!! ^_^ First, what are your thoughts on the ships penten(pen x tennisball) and bombickel(bomby x nickel) from bfdi? They're some of my favorite ships for the characters. okkkayyy and 2. Im genuinely a huge fan of your work! Its just so soft and sparkly and cotton candy-ey!! Its just like eyecandy and super edible!! You just inspire me so much!! Your one of my favorite osc artists. Im getting closer to the word limit so ill stop now >_<

HIII hmmm i’ve never really thought of penten… if i think about it hard enough i’m sure i’ll find the appeal!!! i don’t normally ponder ships i don’t actively indulge in/talk about… but bombickel is really funny to me not in the This is stupid! way but in the Theyre so stupid! way… affectionately of course! i don’t exactly ship them tho but i don’t exactly NOT ship them either… i’d say i’m neutral on both of the ones you asked me about!! id need to think about them more… maybe one day i will because my mind fluctuates between characters/pairings/relationships/dynamics hourly or daily or weekly (but some stick with me through it all) and maybe one of the ships you asked me about will be one of them someday :]

and AHH thank you so much you’re so kind 😭💗 i like that you compared my work to cotton candy because my objectsona is cotton candy HEHEHEHEE BUT GENUINELY THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME I LOOVEEE COTTON CANDY and i am sososo happy i can inspire you and i am honored to be one of your favorites EEEE THATS SO COOLLLLL thank you so much for asking the question and your niceness!!🤗