#something something archangel joke something something

[glitterandmoondustofficial]

Back in Mass Effect hell 👍🏼

[joycrispy]

I wanna talk about The Angel Who Would Be Crowley.

Because I had a certain set of expectations, which got thoroughly trashed in the first five minutes of S2, and my genuine response is, "Oh, fuck, yup. You're right. That's WAY better."

Looking around at GO fandom, I'm not alone in this. So let's talk about it.

Basically, a lot of people (myself included) believed that he was a high-ranking angel, and therefore as chilly and remote as every other powerful angel we'd seen at that point. We pictured Crowley-To-Be as long-haired, regal and imposing --and the fanart at the time reflected this. I'd link some if Tumblr didn't hate links.

Something like this:

We were collectively drawing on a few things --mostly, Crawly's appearance and general bearing in the Biblical scenes of S1--

--But also scattered hints of his importance, backed up by conspicuous absences in Heaven and a few profound displays of power. That's all better covered elsewhere, so I won't reiterate the arguments here. All I'm saying is: I think our headcanons were justified.

But it turns out he was this:

!!!

With his curly little--!!

And his neat white--!!

IT TURNS OUT, he was an angel who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty. Furfur, who knew him before the Fall, says:

"You used to jump on me back, little monkey in a waistcoat..."

(The use of a diminutive there, 'little'...oh, that fascinates me.)

In a pretty huge subversion of expectations, we're given these glimpses of an angel who was sweet, and joyful, and heart-meltingly silly.

In sum...an innocent.

(Perhaps innocent to a troubling degree.

We see how he troubles Aziraphale, during their first conversation. He starts looking around and behind them, checking to make sure that no one can HEAR the blithe and reckless things coming out of this angel's mouth. This angel who talks like he's never been reprimanded in his life; like it's never occurred to him that anyone would want to hurt him.

Before the Beginning, Aziraphale understood Heaven better than he did. The danger is plainly occurring to Aziraphale.)

So now, we the viewers are in on a cruel joke that Aziraphale has known all along, which is that this --THIS-- is the angel who--

*checks notes*

--did a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulphur. For asking questions.

...Imagine you are Aziraphale, and everything inside you wants to believe Heaven are the Good Guys, and God is Good and Everything She does is capital-R Right...and now try to reconcile that. Keep trying. I don't think he ever totally managed it in 6000 years.

All this gets further complicated when we learn that, despite all of the above, we were still right. That sweet excitable babby up there?

He WAS a powerful and high-ranking angel.

That much is explicitly confirmed, with significant evidence that he could have been among the mightiest of archangels...

...Who apparently accosted his fellow angels for piggyback rides. And was remembered millennia later by those (now fallen) angels as something 'little.'

What does that tell us about who he was? Is?

Hell, Aziraphale has known to be wary of the archangels (and the judgements of Heaven in general) since before the Fall even happened. He chooses to believe they are Good; he can't fool himself into thinking they are Safe.

Yet he's absolutely certain that Crowley won't hurt Job's children. Enough to stand in a burning building and say to them, "I can't save you, but don't be afraid. I won't need to."

And what reason does he give?

("I know you."

"You do not know me."

"I know the angel you were.")

What does that tell us about who he was? Is?

("The angel you knew is not me."

But how is Aziraphale supposed to believe that, when he can see him all the time?)

tl;dr --yes, this is better. I love the tragedy of it.

'Innocence died screaming' and all that.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)

i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*

Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:

Everything everywhere is queer all at once

Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other

The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.

Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.

God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.

There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me

They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.

Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.

The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.

Terry Pratchett is not fictional.

He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.

They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.

At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.

Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.

During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.

Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.

It's all very queer, just like the fandom.

Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.

They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.

Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.

Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'

It's all ineffably queer my good fellows

Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.

There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.

The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.

There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.

There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.

Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.

The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.

Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.

Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.

Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.

Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.

[godzexperiment]

the way 'human' nix's 6th sense for other angels operates is actually quite comedic (like damn he can't explain shit about it if anybody inquires but he sure will scale down the 7th story of an building to avoid it getting worst)

[fromchaostocosmos]

I really really really hate the "Biblically accurate angel" thing, meme.

I hate it so much.

For one it is not from the Bible and for two is not an angel.

It is from the Tanach and it is a מַלְאָךְ Malach (singular).

Malachim (plural) have no free will, their name/title means messengers, and they have jobs.

The whole thing of being making pictures or whatever and then doing a caption of "Be not afraid" is annoying and frustrating.

Once again a facet of Judaism is taken and made into a joke. It is taken by goyim and used for their amusement with no care or regard to how we may feel about it, how it degrades us, how disrespectful it is to us and our culture.

In our texts the words that are used to describe Malachim are best translated as awesome, the original meaning. As in inspiring of awe.

Goyim instead of have turned them into these Lovecraftian horrors essentially which doubly disgusting when you taken into account that H.P Lovecraft was a massive antisemite.

Some Malachim we actually know the names of, which xtianty calls Archangels and misunderstand what they are and their purpose is.

These Malachim like all Malachim have no free will and have jobs.

It is very common to find Jews who are named after these Malachim.

These Malachim are also associated with protection, the protection of Am Yisrael as a whole and with the protection of us individuals.

Malachim are not jokes. They are beautiful, they are a wonder, they are one of Hashem's many creations (Fun Fact they were created on the Second Day, what we call Monday in the Gregorian Calendar) and a large part of Judaism both as a religion and a culture.

I wish goyim could respect that, but that would mean that would need to learn to respect us and our culture and stop using us for their amusement and well we have yet to see that happen.

I know Jews make jokes in regards to Malachim, but generally speaking there is a very large and distinctive difference between when we do it and when goyim do it.

And that is when the overwhelming majority of Jews do it, it comes from a place of love, respect, and understanding of the significance and meaning whereas when goyim do it, it is a mockery. It is a degradation whether they realize it or not.

And at the end of the day their will always be a difference when someone who belongs to a culture makes a joke about something in their culture/their culture then when someone who does not belong does it.

The same how way how it will always be diffrent when you make a joke or say something about your family vs when someone who is not a member of family does it.

[hazbinwhoree]

Hello, I've been swallowing up your works and I was wondering if youd be up to writting Adam with a high ranking angel reader (seraphim or archangel) and general hc can be NSFW if you want

Ur currently my fav hazbin blog atm

He’s even more intimidated by you than he is Sera

Thinks you’re the most beautiful angel or even being in existence

Is just in awe of you, you actually make him question if he’s worthy of you

Of course, he’d never let you know that, the cocky bastard

But deep down he’s very insecure about it

You’re a smaller Seraphim, like Emily, so Adam likes to use your head as an armrest from time to time

It’s like he’s asserting dominance or something

But really, you wear the pants in the relationship

He’s very proud to be with you

Talks to anyone who will listen about you

He’s a big yapper but his fav thing to yap about is you, to Lute’s dismay

Lute likes you she’s just tired of hearing Adam talk about you 24/7

He brings you pretty rocks he find like he’s a penguin

Wants to marry you, doesn’t know how to approach the topic

The only time he ever feels like he has any power over you is in the bedroom because this man will not have sex if he’s not in control

You fuck a lot

Adam’s sex drive is insane, and luckily you have a lot of stamina

Lowkey would call you Mommy but as a joke (is it Adam?)

He’ll be the little spoon with you

Not often, but he likes it occasionally

He’s never at more peace than he is when you’re holding him or he’s holding you

When he hugs you he engulfs you in his wings

He’s not as obnoxious when you’re around, you make him almost docile

Of course, he’s still the same old dick but he’s much less loud about it

[lilacpaperbird]

in the supernatural that exists in my mind, the fact that sam and dean were created as the perfect vessels of the devil and an archangel makes them not totally human. there's a residual darkness and light inside them, respectively. sam especially so, after being fed demon's blood when he was a baby. it just comes up in tiny subtle ways so no one realizes there's something wrong with them

sam's ears always ring when he prays (he thinks it's a sign god is listening). rosaries feel peculiarly warm in his hands but he holds them tight anyway. chanting exorcisms leaves him lightheaded. he brittles any plant under his care no matter how many botanical books he reads. john jokes about how his weird drawings used to scare his preschool teachers but sam has no memory of making them. being inside devil's traps feels a bit like walking through water. he has always had a talent for making people and animals trust him, follow him - entranced like moths to a flame

dean on the other hand... there's an aura around him. he shines from within. people can feel it even if they can't put their finger on why he's just so charming. he wonders why he feels almost sleepy whenever he enters a church, he dislikes being so calm and unguarded. he unknowingly interferes with certain technology and makes it malfunction, like an overvoltage. babies love him but animals seem restless in his presence. when he's taking care of a wounded or ill person they heal a little bit faster but no one notices. reading enochian out loud gives him goosebumps. he thinks holy water tastes really good to everyone else too

[knightofthesevenfandoms]

Bee fell first, Gabe fell harder

I've seen it described the other way around, but I really believe this is how it happened.

Okay, so.

Bee fell first.

That first meeting, at the bar in Russia (?)

Gabe seems annoyed to be there. He's disinterested, doesn't know why he's there.

I don't think either is particularly interested in the other at this point. But it DOES start here. Well, it builds on something that happened at the airbase. Gabe realizes he has an equal who understands the frustration of being held accountable for all of Heaven, and so does Bee, with Hell. It's a strange feeling of camaraderie neither of them has felt before. Which is why Gabe gets flustered by the "Arma-bloody-gedon" and starts to joke about it. And Bee NOTICEABLY perks up when he's being a goofball about it.

Gabe then quickly shuts it down, with the "pity we'll never speak again." I think he's genuinely saying that. It's a shame he won't feel that camaraderie again, since obviously the war is still going to happen. Or so they both believe.

The next meeting. This was a HUGE jump. They went from "we're ready for Armageddon 2.0" to "how about no" in one meeting. Obviously we're given to assume that more meetings than we've seen have taken place. Gabe shows up at the bar and launches into his plan of no Armageddon. I think at this point he's intrigued by the way he feels when he's with them and if the war happens, he doesn't get to explore that more. Bee, on the other hand, is GONE for him at this point. The way they EAT UP his no-Armageddon plan immediately, and the way they're smiling at him?!

AND. The most important bit. When they explain the music to him. They do it SO GENTLY. Bee, the demon who's usually yelling, usually insulting everyone around them. They explain the music to help him understand. And he's receptive to it, maybe not necessarily enjoying the song itself, but enjoying it because Bee likes it. Bee's enjoyment makes him happy.

And the way they look at him when he says that. Head over heels.

I would still argue that at this point, Gabriel is still merely interested in exploring all these new feelings he gets when he's with Bee. He's taking this much slower than Bee. But then he invites them to go look at his statue. Does he understand how vain that is? Probably not, but the fact that he invited them to see something that makes him happy? He took a big step here. Maybe bigger than Bee realizes. This meeting has no pretense, no motive like the previous ones did. Those were "we need to talk about the war" meetings. This one is PURELY for the purpose of meeting up with each other.

And how sad Bee looks when Gabe is talking about how much he enjoys looking at the statue? They want so badly for him to look at them like that, but I don't think they realize that he's almost there.

How could they? They probably have feelings of doubt, of low self worth, because this is the Supreme Archangel Gabriel, they're a demon. He couldn't possibly reciprocate what they're feeling.

Could he?

But then they get their answer, at the pub, with the miracle. This is the angel who frowns upon frivolous miracles, thinks it's a waste of holy energy. He miracles the song to play for them. For no reason other than Bee. To make them happy, to see them smile. And smile they do.

Gabe fell harder

Beelzebub jumped in to their feelings with both feet, but Gabe was more hesitant. He did have a lot more to lose, I'd argue. Bee has already fallen, Gabe probably assumes he could fall for being involved with a demon. Especially since Heaven is probably intensely watching for that after, you know, that other angel and demon. Which is a terrifying prospect, I'd assume, for the angel in charge of everything. And he's vain, he loves himself, loves being righteous, loves the authority of Heaven. So of course he's more hesitant. But he leaves all that behind when he admits to himself that there's something worth more than choosing Heaven.

Y'all. Not only was he ready to fall, he welcomed it. He didn't want to spend another minute in Heaven without Bee. Look at his face when Metatron says he's going to remain an angel. He's SO DONE.

We're lead to believe that falling is the worst thing that can happen to an angel, and Gabriel is willing, no, insistent that he fall.

He wouldn't be falling because of Bee, he'd be falling for Bee.

[bunniesandbeheadings]

If you don’t know, a death note is a magic notebook and if you write someone’s name in it, they die. You can also control them before death if you wanna have fun!

*Define “trust” how you want. “Trust” them to use it well? “Trust” them to not use it at all? “Trust” them to do something funny? Define your terms at your comfort level.

[lyssak09]

Hey can i ask a Yandere archangels hcs (separated) where their obsession is their soulmates?

Pronouns for the reader can be She/her

I didn't know exactly if you meant them in like a soulmate AU or something so I just did some soulmate AUs from the wonderful @creativepromptsforwriting. Some have different soulmate AUs than others. I really enjoyed writing this! Happy reading 💙

Yandere Archangels soulmates

Lucifer

Name & Telepathy

Archangels weren’t made for humans, so why the fuck did a name replace his vessel’s soulmate’s name. 

When Lucifer took over Nick’s body he never thought about the soulmate thing his father put in place for you humans. Nick’s soulmate had already died so he didn’t really think about it.

Til he felt a burning sensation on his left arm one day, Lucifer saw Sarah’s name (Nick’s deceased wife) disappear and a new name replace it, Y/N.

You on the other hand were born with the name Lucifer on your left arm. Your parents couldn’t believe someone would name their baby Lucifer! When you were old enough to fully understand the whole soulmate concept you just thought your soulmate had cruel parents to name them that.

The thought that the Lucifer is your soulmate never even crossed anyone's mind. 

Lucifer wanted to know why he had a soulmate, he did research and found nothing about archangels having soulmates. This must be another cruel joke from his father. Like he could ever have a soulmate.

He tried to ignore it and pretend nothing changed. But a part of him wanted to know if you were real or not. Lucifer thought about you more than he would ever like to admit. To the point you could hear his thoughts, sure you’ve heard of soulmates being connected telepathically but never thought you’d be one of those who are.

“Why the fuck would he give me a soulmate? I fell from heaven because of humans, I wasn’t his favorite anymore because of them! They’re a broken, flawed, and murderous species! It's so like him to make one be my soulmate” You heard someone say, you shot your head up, looking for the owner of the voice. Finding nothing you try to brush it off and continue with what you were doing. “I wonder if I’m her soulmate? Now that would be a plot twist.” You hear the voice laugh. You’re either going crazy, or you can hear your soulmate. “Imagine, having the devil as your soulmate! HA! ‘Mom, Dad, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Lucifer’ that would be fun to see.” The voice cackles. Yep, you’re going crazy.

Hearing him in your head has caused you to think about the crazy person who’s your soulmate, causing the telepathic connection between you to reach him.

“I can’t believe my soulmate is crazy. He thinks he’s the devil! He’s gotta be in an institution or something.” Lucifer hears right as he’s killing a lone angel. He stares at the angel whom he has in a choke hold, “Did you say something?”. The angel looks at him like he’s nuts. “Yeah, you’re right, it's probably nothing. Anyways, enjoy your snooze fest wings!” Lucifer grins then disintegrates the angel. “The person who is supposed to complete me says he’s the devil. I mean, that's crazy! I hope he gets help before I meet him if I ever meet him.” He hears the voice again, Lucifer whips his head around but finds no one is near. He thinks before he gains a smirk, “I guess she is real. I have a soulmate.”. Lucifer laughs before looking up at the sky, “Thanks pop, this should be fun”

Since hearing your voice Lucifer is interested in meeting you now, there’s got to be a reason why God made you for him. He won’t admit it but he enjoys hearing you when you talk to yourself, he gets to learn more about you. And unfortunately, you are in fact interesting.

The more he learns about you/hears you the more he feels for you. Finding you has become a priority for him now. Lucifer finds your inner thoughts and monologues you do to be both stupid and adorable at the same time. He’s falling for you without meeting you, not that he would admit that.

Lucifer will finally figure out where you are because of your thoughts. He comes to stake you out, he doesn’t expect to be smitten by your idiotic and stupid pretty face. It makes him angry how he feels about you now, not only was he falling for you just from hearing you and your thoughts, but now he’s actually physically attracted to you!

Lucifer will secretly watch you, either he’ll do it himself or have a demon do it for him if he has matters to attend to. Watching you, your daily routines, and how you interact with people doesn’t help Lucifer in trying to find out why you’re his soulmate. But it does unfortunately cause him to fall for you even more.

He’ll ‘coincidently’ bump into you sometimes, just to interact with you, even if it's just for a second. Lucifer tells himself he does it to learn about you and your weaknesses, but he just wants to see you and talk to you.

It starts to become less of a coincidence that he’s almost everywhere you are and more of a very creepy purposeful thing in your eyes. To the point where you just straight-up confront him on it one day.

“Look Nick, I’m starting to think you’re following me everywhere and it needs to stop. If you have something to say then just come right out with it.” You scold the man, expecting his smile to fall, but no… He smiles wider. The man you call Nick seems like he’s about to say something but he stops himself. “I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N,” He says giving you a look you can’t decipher. You shake your head and continue walking home.

The next day you would in fact see him again. Not knowing everything is about to change.

You enter your living room and find ‘Nick’ looking around it, picking up and staring at the photos you have up. “What the hell are you doing Nick? Why are you in my house!” You scold the man and her turns to face you. “I’ve come for my soulmate” ‘Nick’ smiles then pulls up his sleeve a bit up and shows you his left arm, your name clear as ever on his arm. You feel a shock and panic course through you, you scramble to look at your arm, knowing that it has said Lucifer all your life, and it still does. Confusion washes over your face. “My arm says Lucifer, not Nick.” You replied, your eyebrows furrowing. ‘Nick’ walks towards you. “My name isn’t actually Nick babe, it’s Lucifer. And we’re meant to be” He smiles and then his eyes flash glowing red…

“I know why my father made you my soulmate, why he made us soulmates. The irony of me falling for a human, the very species that caused me to fall and no longer be favorited or accepted by him, is too much for him to not enjoy.”

He takes you to your new home, Hell. Lucifer will confess how he didn’t want you at first but you’re so special and different. How could he not fall for you?

Gabriel

Telepathy & Dreamy

Archangels don’t sleep, right? Then why is he dreaming?

Ever since he went to earth and became one with his vessel (who is unnamed) he blinks and then finds himself in some weird place. A dream maybe?

He’ll be in said place for however long then ‘wakes up’ back wherever he was, more like he blinks then is back in his house or whatever. Like he never left.

The times he was shoved into this world/place (?) would vary. He couldn’t do much in this place. Mainly watch what happens. The main constant in the place was a girl, which happens to be you.

As he witnesses what must be dreams, he learns more about you.

You’re the best part of humanity he’s seen in a very long time.

Gabriel will start doing research, finding out what he’s witnessing is in fact someone’s dreams, his soulmate’s actually. He learns this is a part of the soulmate thing his father put in place for you humans. 

Why he’s yours or why you’re his, he doesn’t know. But he frankly, doesn’t care as to why. He just wants to know more about you.

Gabe will learn how to gain more control of your dreams, trying to manipulate them slightly, in hopes of talking to you.

Gabriel was quietly watching your dream from the sidelines. He found you so cute and adorable. Seeing what your brain comes up with as you sleep was also fascinating to him. He can’t wait to finally be able to interact with you and your dreams. Gabe is already picturing all the dates he’ll take you on in your dreams. 

You didn’t believe you had a soulmate for a long time, unlike most people when you dreamt you never saw someone consistently in your dreams, aka your soulmate. So when you started to see this man in your dreams you didn’t really think he was your soulmate, just something your brain conjured up.  

Until the man came up to you in your dream and spoke to you. You were happy to finally have a soulmate. The man you learned is named Gabriel and he was beyond giddy to finally be able to talk to you.

From then on when you would dream Gabe would change the dream, making it like dates. So you could learn more about him, don’t worry he already knows everything about you now 🙂

Gabriel doesn’t tell you that he’s an archangel or that angels and god actually exists yet, so when he tells you about himself he makes it simpler. “Oh, do I have siblings? Yeah, I have 3 brothers I was close to, the others I never really interacted much with since they were made way after me.” “Do I still see my brothers? HA! Hell no, not after the war- I mean the falling out between two of them.” “Am I close to my parents…..uhm no, my father abandoned us basically.”

But the longer this goes on he starts to show more of himself to you, his unhealthy feelings towards you. Becoming too touchy, sharing way more information about yourself than he should know, and getting irritated when you mention any male in your life. 

Gabriel starts to come off too strong. “You people believe in marriage right? We should do that then. Secure the deal legally!” 

He says that the 3rd time you talk to him in one of your dreams.

Gabe starts to push the idea of meeting you way quicker than you’d like. If you mention that he’s moving too quickly for you he’ll get upset. 

“What-what do you mean? We’re soulmates Y/N! You were literally made for me! My father made you for me! We’re meant to be!” Gabe exclaimed in frustration. You give him a strange look. “What do you mean ‘your father’?” You try to question him, Gabriel lets out a sigh before explaining that he’s an archangel and his father is God, who happens to actually exist. ‘He’s crazy! He thinks he’s an angel? He cannot be my soulmate!’ you think before trying to wake up and get away from him.

He didn’t appreciate you cutting your time together short. Nor will he appreciate it when you start trying to avoid him by not sleeping. Not only is that unhealthy for you but you’re staying away from him! He hates that. It feels like you’re abandoning him, and we all know how he feels about that.

Gabriel starts searching for you, which isn’t too hard since he knows way too much about you. While you’re trying to find out if you can get rid of a soulmate, or at least keep them out of your dreams.

Unfortunately for you, he knows what you’re trying to do, luckily for him, he can hear your thoughts if he focuses on you. You don’t know he can do that as your soulmate. 

After the fifth night of staying awake, you’re starting to get the sleep deprivation effects, such as hallucinating. Which will give Gabriel a huge advantage.

He’ll come for you after finally figuring out where you are in the world. It’s late at night and you’re too exhausted to fight against him or even realize that he’s real. You just think you're hallucinating when a man looking like your soulmate randomly appears in your room.

You honestly made it way easier for him to take you home, if you had slept more you’d be able to fight against him, maybe he wouldn’t have had to take you so quickly if you slept and met him in your dreams. But it's too late for it now. He easily scoops you up and takes you to your new home, his home.

“Welcome home, sweetcheeks”

Michael

Danger alert & name & telepathy

When Michael took over Dean’s body he didn’t expect to gain a soulmate, especially you. You were Dean’s soulmate, your name was on his left arm and everything. But after Michael was in his body for a couple of weeks he felt a weird sensation on Dean’s right arm, your name was starting to appear. 

He was more confused than anything. Why would his father give you two soulmates? Why would he make you his soulmate in the first place? 

Michael couldn’t understand why Chuck gave him, an archangel, a soulmate.

As much as he would have liked to ignore this, he couldn’t. He was intrigued. Not just because he somehow has a soulmate, but because you are his soulmate. His destined vessel’s soulmate is also his! That is fascinating to him.

So he’ll go through Dean’s mind to learn about you, even change up the imaginary bar he made to keep Dean preoccupied, to involve an imaginary you. He’ll learn more about you and why you’re so special to Dean that way. And it keeps Dean from realizing he’s locked away in his own mind/body for a bit longer.

The more he learns about you and sees memories of you from Dean the harder he falls. Who could see that coming?

Michael becomes obsessed with you, you’re not like other humans. Maybe that's why his father made you his soulmate.

He’ll also start to become overprotective, especially since he can feel when you’re in danger thanks to Dean’s soulmate connection to you.

You could be on a hunt with Sam or a dangerous research mission (to find a way to get Michael out of Dean’s body) with Cas, and be in danger till whatever creature was about to/was harming you all of a sudden disintegrates. But there won’t be a sign or a trace of what killed the creature.

You were pinned down by a vampire, trying to get it off of you while Sam fights his way towards you. This was supposed to be a simple hunt and research mission! “Y/N!” You hear Sam yell your name as he gets closer to you. “Y/N! I’m coming!” He yelled just as the vampire was going to bite me. I close my eyes and wince, but the weight against me disappears. I sit up a bit, All that's left of the vamp that was on me is some ashes. Sam and you look around trying to see who or what saved you, but find nothing. Not noticing Michael hiding in the shadows of the warehouse with you guys.

He won’t get to meet you for a while since you’re off helping Sam to get him out of Dean’s body, and he’s busy running around Earth. 

Michael has the upper hand though. You and Sam don’t know that he can hear your thoughts, because that's not a typical soulmate connection to have. You don’t know that you’re his soulmate yet either. So whatever plans you and Sam come up with are easily foiled by him.

Michael likes to try and implant thoughts into your subconscious using the telepathy he’s gotten as your soulmate.

He might convince Dean to work with him by manipulating him and telling him you can be his forever if he just works with him, Michael will even supply that apple pie life Dean wants. 

Michael will still be in control more often than not if Dean agrees though. He’ll let Dean control his body much more often than he currently is if works with him.

And how could Dean resist? Not only would he gain control of his body back, but he’d also get his soulmate and the dream life he wants, and he’d be able to finally act on all of his dark feelings for you while being able to blame it all on Michael.

You still only have Dean’s name on you though. This will infuriate Michael once he finds out. How can you be his soulmate but he’s not yours? It makes him angry and jealous. Shouldn’t he be meant for you just like you are for him?

But it doesn’t matter, as long as you’re with him then everything is fine.

He is extremely manipulative. During one of your attempts to get him out of Dean’s body, Michael takes note of how much you love Dean and how you’re willing to do anything for him. He wants you to feel like that for him. 

So one day after another failed attempt to save Dean Michael makes a deal with you. Give yourself up and you’ll have Dean back. You want to immediately agree but why does he of all people want you specifically to give yourself up?

You demand to know why and he smiles. “Because I want my soulmate by my side.” His smile turns into a grin as he pulls up his sleeve on his right arm, revealing your name on it. You gasp, your jaw unclenches, going slack, and you scramble to look at your left arm. You’re afraid that his name has taken Dean’s place but find it hasn’t changed. “As much as I would love to explain it, I don’t know why my name isn’t on your arm when we’re destined to be together. But that doesn’t matter right now. Will you come with me or not?” He leans towards you as he crosses his arms. You pace in thought for a moment before looking at him, shoulders slumped and frown. “You promise you’ll let him go? Like vacate from him, find a new ‘vessel’ or whatever?” You question and nervously fidget. He licks his lips quickly before gaining an even wider grin, “Yes. I’ll leave his body.”, Michaels lies right through his teeth. He’d be stupid to give up his true vessel, the one that makes him even more powerful than he already was. But you don’t know this, so you reluctantly agree, thinking you’re saving Dean. No matter how much Sam screams at you to not say yes, that we’ll find another way to save him, you can’t hear him over the thought of Dean being free again. “I’ll go with you.”

[neil-gaiman]

Hello, I know I’m a little late after the release of good omens season 2 but I did only watch it at most 7 days after it’s release on BBC iplayer (or Amazon Prime, my memory is bad I can’t remember what platform I watched it on). I have only just thought of something to say:

how dare you

I’m joking I’m sorry, beautiful and tragic and I never cry over films or shows but this was one of the few that had me… verging on tears (trust this is not a criticism but one of the highest compliments I can give lmao). The love the loss all that poets like me love for 😔💔💔💔.

I can’t wait for season three if it comes, and thank you (coincidental or not) for making all the fan canons canon, that was really fun to have us included. I’m asking for the book of good omens from my parents and I’d love to see your work written as I’ve loved all your books so far.

another topic to bring up: casting. Just 👏👏👏👏✨✨ bring one of the (if not the) best welsh and Scottish actors together. David and Micheal are becoming my world in the topic of acting. It’s just brilliant.

finally the questions, sorry if this was formal I just want to express my gratitude for how f-ing amazing the series was. Sorry if these questions have been asked before I’m just here to ask:

since there were obviously some fandom inclusion in s2 is there any chance we might be seeing theories or headcanons from the fan base become canon? For example the coffee theory might not as that could change the whole plot but little things like ships or backstories might be considered?

what are your thoughts on the coffee theory? Is it somewhat accurate? Does it intrigue you how creative people get? Are you shocked the fan base is that amazing at guessing your plots? Haha

is it conformed that Crowley was archangel Raphael pre-fall since he could access the files in Heaven?

And what are your thoughts on the ways your fan base is going? Are you proud of how good omens is doing ? And how silly creative your fans are? Do you like what people are doing with your creations?

thank you for reading !! seeing all your interviews and replies to past questions makes you seem like a really fun guy, you’re amazing ! I’ve made several friends start watching just so I can get rant to them and possibly get a s3 !!

- a very silly reader and watcher who was painfully formal in this ! :)

If there was fandom theory inclusion in Season 2 I wasn't aware of it, and I'm doing my very best to keep as far as I can from any Season 3 theories or ideas.

[ruddyhotelau]

Hey I read the post where you mentioned about 9 AU for justicestatic if u don't mind I would like to know about au even a short one liner is enough!!

I am really curious and love your Au!!

Ok till the moment I answer this question, the amount of AU increase to 14 AU =)))))))

Nate did draw sketches for some AU in the list, we will break it down for you.

1. Hellaver Secret

This AU started our Hellaverse Journal, it is the combination of Hazbin Hotel and an anime called Spy x Family. Mixing the lore of both media to create a plot that balances between fantasy and slice of life . The main couple in this AU is RadioApple, JusticeStatic is only a side dish that we came up with as a joke at first.

Basically, in this AU, Samael gave up his position as a Seraphim to become a normal human and changed his name to Lucifer. He's currently an assassin, a daughter he has with his long lost wife - Charlie, a telepath that can read people's mind and Lucifer form a fake marriage with a man named Alastor - a spy in disguise.

Michael is still an Archangel in this AU, he came down to Earth to bring his brother back to Heaven and somehow agreed to a business deal with Alastor's coworker - Vox. Even tho they hate each other, they still try to work things out because they both want to break the fake Morningstar couple.

2. Ruddy Hotel

You guy already knew about this one =)))

But yea, basically role swap AU

3. Band AU

This is a human AU. All the Heaven siblings decided to create a rock band called Octagrams. Michael is the drummer of the band and Vox at first was their anti, like the kind of anti that will stalk you from behind. Vox is actually a very successful businessman but he's also a stalker cuz c'mon, it's Vox.

4. Students AU

They are high school students in this AU, and yes, Vox is older than Michael in most of our human AU. In this AU, Vox is a 12 grader student while Michael is in grade 10. If anyone wondering then no, they are not dating till later when they're both legal adults with jobs.

Michael: I think you should give up on that school already.

Vox: Shut up kid, I'm trying to concentrate.

5. Hotel Supervisor

In this AU, Michael already knew Vox when the TV was still alive. Michael has to come down Earth to do his jobs and somehow Vox was his next-door neighbor. Long story short, they then fell in love but in the end, Vox died and became a demon in Hell. Then, one day, Michael got a direct message from God ordering him to come down to the hotel, keep an eye on it and decide whether the hotel deserved a chance to prove redemption is possible. Vox then knew about Michael's appearance at the Hotel... After a long time of thinking carefully, he decided to knock on the hotel's door.

7. The contract

Michael is currently having a headache about the last extermination, about his brother and his niece, about their resistance, which could cause a misunderstanding for Heaven and made God think they want to rebel against Heaven. Michael needed to know what was happening in Hell as soon as possible and Vox was the most suitable choice for this job.

8. Soulmate AU

When humans turn 18, some of them will appear a small mark at their wrist, the mark that represent their soulmate. But love has never been easy, not everyone with the mark can find their soulmate because all the mark does is glow when your soulmate is making love with someone that is not you and you will be able to feel a faint electric shock when you meet them. The mark will disappear the moment your soulmate passes away.

Vox got his mark when he was 18. Some of his friends were jealous of him but all he felt was empty and annoyed. If anything, Vox is never the one who trusts in destiny and fate. Same with his soulmate - Michael, Archangel Michael got his mark as a gift from God but he never paid much attention to it. He didn't understand why God gave him this? The idea of himself getting attached to someone on first sight is something Michael can't even imagine.

So they both waited for the day that their mark disappeared so they would no longer be bound to a stranger anymore.

But things never go as they expected...

Destiny must be crazy when it thought that tying an Archangel and a Sinner together was a good idea.

9. Get rid of you

Michael is currently a third year law student in this AU. One day, his younger sibling Gabriel thinks it's a good idea to fill that empty fish tank in his brother's house with some fish in some skeptical looking pet shop. Lilttle did the Morningstar siblings know the mini shark they picked up at the store that day was actually a demon in disguise.

10. Roommate AU

Vox, the Static Demon and Archangel Michael got summoned to Earth in another universe where Heaven and Hell didn't exist by a mysterious cult. Because they both came from the same universe so it's best that they stick together to survive in this familiar yet strange world. It took all of Vox's neuron nerve to convince Michael and after thinking carefully about his current situation, Michael knew he will have a better chance at getting back to his world if he co-operate with an Overlord and a better chance at blending in the human world with the help of someone who used to be a human. So even though he despised Vox's existence but for his future benefits, Michael is going to spare Vox's life.

So the two began to live together to find a way to come back to their world and to survive in this society without drawing any attention to their existence.

11. Guardian Angel

In this AU, all the siblings are the guardian angels for the humans.

Michael - Vox

Lucifer - Alastor

Raphael - Cherri Bomb

Gabriel - Niffty

Uriel - Husk

Jophiel - Velvette

Chamuel - Angel Dust

Azrael - Sir Pentious

Their mission is to guide their human on the right path but sadly, for Michael, he and his human are not getting along too well. Michael could only hope that he could get the guy to be 50% better at being a good person until the day Vox dies or else Michael is going to lose that promotion that he's always wanted.

12. Your Name

Inspired by an anime called "Your Name". Basically, it depicts the story of two college students, Michael and Vox, who suddenly swap bodies despite having never met the other, unleashing chaos onto each other's lives.

If you're wondering why they're doing weird expressions that doesn't match their personality is because in the pic, these two losers are swapping bodies, Vox in Michael's body and vice versa.

13. The Moving Castle

Inspired by an anime named "Howl's Moving Castle". Vox is an overly confident man who is cursed to have a demon body with a TV head by a spiteful witch. His only hope of breaking the spell is meeting a powerful, cold and distant wizard that travels around in his moving castle.

Michael's mind is filled with doubts when he sees Vox. He couldn't believe this vile man in front of him was the one he had been searching all alone and the one who could break his curse.

14. Apocalypse AU

Take place in the post-apocalypse world where almost everything was destroyed but with advanced technology. In this AU, Vox is a mad scientist and Michael is a soldier in a poor and small area.

So Michael and his siblings in this AU were all slaves when they were small. Some were sold to by dealer or black market and others came from a corrupted lab or were kidnapped. Because the 8 of them were locked in the same cage and all of them were around the same age so they got close with each other really quickly. (In this AU Michael and Lucifer are still twins) After knowing each other for a while, Lucifer came up with the idea that all of them should have a unique tattoo so even if they got split up in the future, they will still be able to recognize each other. So time passed, one by one was sold but the place collapsed before Michael got sold. And so he was able to escape then got adopted by a soldier.

Time passed, he became one of the protectors, an excellent and skilled soldier of the area. But one day, some people in the area started to go missing and Michael has been assigned the task of finding those missing people. And he was able to track Vox down. Vox noticed there has been some annoying rat following him lately, not to mention being the first to come this close to him in the first place. So he asked his old pal Alastor - a famous hitman to deal with Michael.

Then "BANG" - a clean bullet through the head, taking away Michael's life. Vox was not going to let Michael's body going to waste so what better way to reuse the body than to create a hybrid monster (The reason why Vox want to create a monster is because he remembered Al used to tell him a long time ago that he wondered how a monster tasted like. So Vox thought maybe if he created a monster and served it to Alastor, perhaps he could fix his relationship with Alastor)

So a monster was created and so did a broken screen. (Vox did change his screen later, don't worry) What will they face together afterward? What will the future hold? What kind of madness, wacky adventure and people awaiting them? It is something that they need to go through together in the future...

[irishmammonagenda]

Boop!- Obey Me x Reader

Summary: You go on a mission to boop, as per usual chaos ensues. Word Count: 3.5k Warnings: Female Reader (implied), i dont really think there's anything else but if you can see something lmk and i'll add a warning

very obviously inspired by tumblr's boop event

dividers by @saradika-graphics

"Hello Michael!" You greet, signature foxy grin on your face. Michael looks up from where he's playing Connect Four with a man in robes and waves at you.

"Hiya MC!" He puts the palms of his hands on the soft cloud ground and leans back on them, he's bare chested in the heat, though he's adorned himself with waist beads and arm bands, firm muscles on display. His long curly blond hair is in intricate braids, small ornaments threaded through it. He grins up at you, bright red eyes shining under the light of the Celestial sun. "What's brought ya up to the Celestial Realm today?"

"I am evil. I am very evil Michael." You say seriously.

The other man laughs, though not unkindly. His tanned skin shimmers ethereally under the light, dark brown eyes stare up at you, rich like soil after the morning due. Dark waves and soft curls frame his face, some soft stubble one his jawline, barely noticeable. "I'm sure you're not evil." He says kindly.

You stare at him, before smiling as well, touched. "Aww thanks! And you are?"

The man smiles, reaching his hand up, Michael takes that time to sneakily move one of the coins the man had put down a slot over. "I'm Jesus, it's nice to meet you MC."

You cough. "You're Jesus?"

"Yes." He nods, "A lot of people are shocked when they first meet me...something about expecting me to look like Da Vinci's gay lover."

You nod, dumbfounded.

Michael, sensing your inner turmoil, and also needing to keep Jesus' attention elsewhere so he could continue cheating- winning creatively in Connect 4, clears his throat, "So what's brought you to the Celestial Realm and made you claim that you're evil?"

This makes you grin, "Well, my dearest Michael....have you heard of boops?"

Michael straightens up a little bit, Jesus watches him intently, before fixing the board to its original state whilst the Archangel is distracted.

"No I have not...Why, what are they?" Michael asks, signature mischievous grin on his face. "They sound fun."

"Well I'm glad you asked Michael!" You grin, before leaning in and whispering into his ear. The added proximity made you realise he smelt of pine cone and fresh rain.

Michael giggles evilly, turning over to Jesus, before reaching a dark, jewel adorned hand and booping his nose. "Boop!"

Jesus just smiles, Crucifixion was worse. "It's your go, Michael."

"Oh of course! MC wait for this game to be over! I have...uh..business to attend to in the Devildom!"

You and Jesus share a look.

Michael looks over at you two, "You coming Jesus?"

The man smiles gently, "No thanks, I'm still traumatised from that one time when Satan tormented me in the desert."

"Oh okay...." Michael deflates the tiniest smidge before looking back at the board, spluttering. "Hey you moved the pieces!"

Jesus snorts, "Yeah, I moved the pieces back from where you tried to cheat."

"Lying's a sin." Michael huffs.

Jesus laughs, "Was that an admition of guilt?"

Michael falls onto his back dramatically, dark skin shining in the Celestial Realm's blessed light. "Ugh! Woe is me! This is worse than the time that one Irish kid got me confused with Michael Collins!"

Jesus pats his shoulder in pity. "Easter's a hard time for all of us."

Michael blinks at the scars on Jesus' palms from the nails and bites back a very bad Cross joke. "You could say that again."

After the game of Connect 4 ended, (Michael lost) you and the Archangel said your goodbyes to Jesus and began your journey down to the Devildom. Michael walks beside you, a good bit taller than you. Michael having swapped out his less than covering attire for a flowy white flare sleeved top that you'd imagine a pirate or a Victorian would wear, the lace buttons are undone for the most part, as per usual. You'd come to learn that the Archangel hated top buttons with a burning passion.

"I call Lucikins." Michael says with about as much seriousness as a 10 year old calling shotgun on the front seat of the car. So very serious.

"Fine. I call Mammon." You reply, looking up at him, as if daring him to try and boop your first man before you could. He pouts, but relents.

"I call Satan then." Michael blinks back at you with crimson eyes.

"No why?" You sulk.

Michael shrugs. "He's my nephew. I get to boop his nose it's the law."

"No it's not."

"Yeah it is!"

"Prove it then." You huff.

Michael turns around and you hear fidgeting before he hands you a paper napkin with writing on it. You notice the fountain pen he sneakily snuck back into his trouser pocket and glare at him, before reading the napkin.

The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shall let Michael boop his nephew's nose.

You hum, "Something's telling me this is fake."

Michael gasps incredulously, as if offended by the very notion, he places a hand over his breast, where his heart is. "How dareth thou! Truly, 'tis a crime against nature to speak such filth about the Holy Word. A crime against God I daresay!"

"Okayy...drama king."

Michael gasps again. "Alas! Thou speaketh such filth! Such blasphemy to thee! Thy words...such horrors! Cursed are thou amongst humankind!"

You deadpan. "I'm taking away your Shakespeare rights."

"Try it I dare you." Michael challenges, red eyes gleaming with something predatory. "You can boop Simeon."

You grin. "Yay!"

"I call Luke."

Your grin drops. "What the frickety flip that's my son."

Michael's brows furrow. "He's my son too what the flip."

You gasp, bringing your hands to your mouth. "Did we?..."

Michael's eyes widen, he pulls his top up and counts his ribs, losing count several times because you keep adding random numbers in. He looks up at you.

"Did we have a child out of Wedlock?!"

You and Michael look at each other in object horror. Both conveniently ignoring the fact that Luke technically came into existence millennias before you.

"I think we did...." You place your hand over your brow like a Victorian woman seeing the ankles of her secret lesbian lover for the first time.

Michael follows suit.

"Michael....I fear we might be sinners...."

"Well you know what they say in the human world MC...." Michael sniffles, looking away from you dramatically. "Sinner sinner chicken dinner...."

You pause, breaking character. "Is it not Winner winner chicken dinner?"

Michael shrugs. "Not like I care."

You parrot his movement, shrugging your shoulders back as well, before the horror creeps back onto your expression. "But...Simeon and Barbatos also see Luke as their son...."

Michael looks at you wide eyed, grabbing you by the shoulders, "MC! We have to count their ribs!"

You put your head in your hands, "Two angels, a demon and a human with angel blood that's somehow an angel....our son is a hybrid!"

Michael gasps. "Hybrid princess?"

You do a double take. "Why do you know what gacha is." You breath out, looking at Michael in genuine fear.

"I wasn't a gacha kid don't worry! Levi was though! He'd show me his little Gacha stories that he made...." Michael looks nostalgic. "Such an adorable little weirdo....he gets it from Lucifer y'know."

"If I described Lucifer as an adorable little weirdo I think he'd skin me alive."

"That sounds like a you problem." Michael grins.

You and Michael continue your journey down to the Devildom, only this time he's giving you a piggy back ride because you annoyed him until he agreed. Strong hands hold your thighs to keep you from falling, as your arms are wrapped around his neck.

You had been 'calling' people to boop.

"I call Diavolo."

"Deal." Michael nods, trying and failing to twist his head around to face you because you're on his back and he's not an owl. "I don't want to accidentally start another Celestial War by booping the Prince and acting King of the Devildom's nose."

"That's surprisingly a good reason."

"Fuck you mean surprisingly?" Michael scoffs, though there's no real bite to it. "I'm always having good reasons."

"Yeah and I'm the spawn of Satan." You say sarcastically, human world side winning over for a second, until you remember that Satan is in fact a real person and that you are in fact now in the Devildom.

Michael laughs, "You know who Satan's the spawn of? Lucifer."

"Don't let him hear you say that."

"What's he gonna do? Bully me while I'm in a desert? Jokes on him, I hate sand and don't go anywhere near it."

"I don't feel safe anymore, we're gonna get jumped."

Michael laughs.

"I call Levi, I need to return an anime to him anyway." Michael breaks the silence.

"You borrow animes from Levi?"

"Yeah sometimes, me and Saint Peter watch animes at the gates of Heaven when it's a slow day and not a lot of souls are being guided into it."

"Nah imagine dying and waking up in heaven to see the people at the gates watching anime."

Michael sticks out his tongue, though stops when he remembers you're on his back and can't see it.

"I call Barbatos."

Michael sighs in relief, carrying you through the streets of the Devildom. "Thank God, you can have him. Good luck with that."

"Go fuck yourself Michael. I call Thirteen."

Michael gasps excitedly. "Tell her I say hi!"

"Tell her yourself."

Michael huffs. "You're so mean to me MC."

You bite his neck, really embodying your inner feral street cat. He yelps. "Don't try to steal my wife, next time I'll bite your jugular pretty boy."

Michael laughs, "I am quite pretty..." He flips his hair, the intricate golden braids and curls hit you in the face, seeing as you're still on his back. You let out a sound similar to a feral street cat coughing up a hairball, he laughs again. "Also I'm pretty sure Thirteen is a lesbian."

You perk up. "Oh yay! You should be the priest at our wedding Michael. You don't have a choice."

"Fine." The archangel huffs, his plump lips pouty. "But only if Luke's the flower boy."

"I was gonna make him the ring boy giver person." You reply, playing with one of the ornaments braided into Michael's hair.

"Even better!"

Moments of comfortable silence last before you decide to break it because you're evil and have no moral code whatsoever.

"Michael you can have Solomon."

Said Archangel halts. Dropping you off of his back before turning to look at you, now strewn out on the ground. He puts his hand over his brow like a Victorian man who just saw the ankles of his gay lover. (Probably Solomon: You'd decided.)

"No! How couldeth thou?" He sighs dramatically before it just turns exhasperated. "Those rumours just died down...."

You jump up off of the ground, wiping the soil from your clothes, "They have?! Dammit!"

Michael deadpans at you, pulling at a golden coil of hair and letting it be stretched straight before letting go and watching it bounce back up into a curl again. "I hate you."

"That's harsh."

After having separated from Michael, you sneak into your First Man's room. He sits lazily, lounging on his bed and scrolling mindlessly through his DDD. So enraptured he doesn't even notice your presence just yet until you press your finger to his nose.

"Boop!"

"ARGHH-" he screeches, jumping atleast five feet in the air before realising it was you and scoffing. "Oh...It's you...o-of course ye'd wanna boop the Great Mammon's nose! That'll cost ya!" He huffs, trying to avoid the initial embarassment of you seeing him so uncool!

"Boop!" You boop him again, he grins stupidly like an idiot inlove, before snapping out of it and putting his 'too cool for this' persona back on.

"T-that'll cost ye! MC!" He stutters, trying to cover his blush.

"Oh will it now?" You raise a brow before bringing your lips to his nose and pecking it there, pulling away again in less than a second. "Boop."

He pulls you in for a hug before you can pull away completely. You grin, having reduced the Avatar of Greed to a blushy pile of mush in your arms.

Take that Alpha Male podcasters who think women want dominant mean men who suck and hate them. Everyone knows all women want a Mammon.

You and Michael meet back up again. Michael having a scratch on his leg.

"Satan did not like the fact that I booped him at first...until I gave him an emergency kitten that I put in a cage nearby like 5 minutes before." Michael says, noticing that you noticed the scratch. "He almost bit me! He's definitely Lucikin's son!"

You point and laugh at him. He pouts, before interlocking your arms. "Purgatory hall?"

"Purgatory hall." You nod.

Michael knocks on the door. Luke answers it before gasping like a child on christmas. "Michael! Hi!" He hugs the Archangel who laughs and picks him up.

The blond boy notices you at that point, he smiles brightly. "Oh MC! Hi!"

"Hiya Luke!" You smile at him, booping his nose. "Boop!"

"Michael follows suit. "Boop!"

Luke blinks before grumbling. "I'm not a child..." He then turns his head back towards Michael who's still holding him. "Boop!"

Michael laughs. "Do MC now!" With that he quickly moves closer to you, Luke still in his arms, and the young angel boops your nose too. You all grin, laughing. Luke just ecstatic that Michael was able to visit. And he brought you too!

You end up watching a movie together, all three of you. Simeon comes home halfway through it. Having had to visit a publishers. Michael hides behind the door and when Simeon opens it, the dark skinned angel pops out, booping the poor man. "Boop!"

Simeon blinks at him. Michael smirks lightheartedly "Get booped Loserboy."

Simeon smiles, his gaze turning toward you." MC would you lie any help with your Solomon x Michael fanfiction? I heard from Satan that you two were on hiatus."

Michael groans. "Traitors!"

You laugh. "Get fanficked Loserboy."

Michael grins, putting on faux dramatics. "You both suck I'm going back into Luke! At least he's actually cool."

After a lovely movie with Luke, Simeon and Michael, you run away to a cave because why not?

After entering Thirteen's very lovely abode, and avoiding all of the traps laid out for Solomon, you finally catch a glimpse of her vibrant ombre hair.

"Hiya Tee!" You grin, pouncing on her and pulling her into a hug. The reaper, who's clearly batshit insane doesn't even flinch, she just laughs, hugging you back even tighter.

"MC! To what do I owe the pleasure babes?"

You giggle michieviously before bringing your hand up and, "Boop!"

She grins wider, bloodied emerald eyes staring back at you so lovingly, hints of playful devilry in her expression.

"Oh let me try! Boop!" She says before pulling you in for a kiss that makes your knees feel weak.

When you both pull away to catch a breath, you breathe out breathlessly. "That was a super boop....an evil boop even..." You say, face burning red, you know she feels the red hotness of your cheeks.

She just laughs. Tilting her head, some strands of hair falling into her face. "You want another one?"

You've never nodded quicker in your life.

"How in Diavolo's name did you get in here?" Lucifer asks, looking up from the work on his desk. He quickly closes over the confidential files and paperwork, turning his head to Michael once more. Blood red eyes narrowed at their counterpart's.

Michael approaches the Demon at a speed that could rival Mammon's. In an instant he's beside the raven-haired man. "Awww Lucikins don´t worry about it! Boop!"

Lucifer swallows thickly, and flicks his gaze to Michael. Despite having the glare of a thousand suns on him, Michael continues grinning. "Did you...did you just boop my nose?..." The Avatar of Pride asks in a low voice.

"I'm not too sure if I did..." Michael puts his fingers to his chin in mock thought, before grinning, pointer finger in the air. "I'll have to do it again to make sure!" The Archangel exclaims before booping his younger brother on the nose. "Boop!"

Lucifer growls. "Michael-"

"Yes, Lucikins?"

"Michael I am going to kill you."

The elder only laughed, "Awww classic Lucikins! Still in his teenage angst phase!"

"I did not have a teenage angst phase." Lucifer glares, huffing embarassedly, turning away and picking up his quill in an attempt to turn away from this god awful conversation.

Michael gives him a knowing look. "Don't make me pull out the photos."

His head snaps back to his elder brother. "What photos?"

"The photos of you with the wolf cut, the ones with you and the eyeliner, the ones where you're all dressed up in your little emo costumes..." Michael wipes a tear from his eye. "Oh...you were so adorable! Always threatening to murder me...! Glad to see that my wittle baby brother hasn't changed!" The Archangel exclaims, pinching his younger brother's cheeks and making them squish up, Lucifer felt his face flush with embarrassment. Michael laughed, he looked like a chipmunk!

"...'m no' a 'ittle ba'y bro'er! you'r tw' minu'es ol'er than 'ee!" Lucifer tries to shout, but with Michael pushing his cheeks together, it comes out muffled and distorted.

"All I heard is that you said I'm the best big brother in the three realms and you love me very much!"

Lucifer glares at him. A glare that doesn't hold any weight seeing as Michael is still squishing his cheeks together and he still looks like a chipmunk.

With enough squirming and fighting, Lucifer finally manages to get out of his brother's grip, he rubs his cheeks, staring daggers at the angel. "I would never say that. I'm not your baby brother. I'm not Lucikins. You're two minutes older than me yet two centuries more immature." He says venomously.

Too bad Michael's poison proof.

The Archangel laughs, "You're not my baby brother? Huh? Who's bed did you climb in when you were scared of the thunder back in the Celestial Realm?"

Lucifer bristles, swallowing thickly, "That's irrelevant."

"Sureee." Michael grins, though it's softer around the edges, Lucifer feels it too.

Lightning flashes in the Celestial realm. Long before Mammon had even been born. Thunder roars, a small whimper sounds. Lucifer sits in his bed, covers over his head, gripping a pillow tightly. Barely even a cherub, he takes the slight break in the storm to gather the courage to waddle over to his twin's bed.

"Mikey?" Lucifer whispers in the darkness, gripping onto the poles of the bed with his tiny pale hands. "Mikey...you awake?" He says through gapped teeth, a slight lisp in his voice. The gap between his two front teeth would close with time.

The sheets rustle, a young Michael groans, also barely a cherub his voice is as high pitched and childlike as his brother's. "Luci...go to sleep..." The slightly older cherub says, eyes still closed.

"Can't Mikey...'s too loud.." Lucifer whispers, black hair sticking to his forehead in a slight sheen of sweat. As if to prove his point, thunder roars again, lightning flashes. Lucifer whimpers, gripping the pole tighter.

Michael sits up sleepily, short curly hair tied in the tiniest protective braids possible, some small blond coils escaping their confines at the edges of his head. The older cherub wipes a small, chubby hand over his eyes and yawns before opening his duvet up just enough so that Lucifer could climb in.

"Make sure...go to sleep Lucikins..." Michael whispers tiredly, covering his yawning mouth before abandoning his teddy bear and putting his arm around his little brother instead.

Thunder sounds again. Lucifer stiffens and lets out a small sound. "Mikey...'m scared..." He grips onto his twins matching pajamas tightly with his tiny little hands.

Michael grins sleepily, red eyes staring into his twins same coloured ones. "Don't worry Lucikins! 'm always gonna p'tect you! That's wha' big brothers are for!"

The thunder still sounds, Lucifer still stiffens slightly,but surrounded by the warmth and comfort of his twin, he manages to sleep soundly.

After all the madness and badness. (Devil face emoji) You and Michael meet up in a Devildom café.

"That was productive!" The Archangel grins.

"Indeed it was Michael....indeed it was...." You say, a blissed out look on your face.

Michael arches a brow, "Is that one of Thirteen's leather jackets?"

"Maybe..." You say dreamily, playing with the sleeves.

Michael just laughs at you. "Get it, I guess! Anyway wanna watch Gilmore Girls with me? I need to catch up with Raphael...he's a few episodes ahead of me."

"Of course I do."

Michael brings his hands together in an imitation of a fly on a wall doing the hand thing. "Excellent."

.

.

.

"Do you think Luke's going to grow up to open a coffee shop?"

"Nah, he'd open a bakery."

this is utter bullshit and utter dogshit idek

[powerpuffobsession]

As much as I love Adam for a few fun parts of his character and for what he could have been at the hands of a competent writer (as shown by the fanfics where he gets properly developed)...

I feel like he (and the way he's characterised) is what broke Hazbin hotel season 1 pacing, Lucifer's character and the show's overall atmosphere.

(Long and packed rant under the cut, because I've been having these thoughts since I saw season 1, and I want to share them. Viewer discretion is adviced)

Before Adam existed (pilot era) it was all simple and worked more properly: a story about the hotel and its inhabitants, and most importanty, redemption. It was a small snuggly location with a few characters in the center of a plot

Heaven was in the background and kept as a mystery. Moreover, from what we've seen in the pilot, Lucifer was obviously a background villain or at least an anti hero, one of the real obstacles for Charlie to overcome on the way to her goal (instead of a minor inconveniece resolved in a single broadway song)

But when Adam and his weird obsession with murder broke into that perfectly cut out premise, everything just shattered. Too many themes got weaved into the short story of the 8 episodes: Heaven vs Hell politics, overlords, war, Charlie's conflict with Adam, the seraphims...

All of that pushed the hotel and the redemption to the background instead of Heaven.... in a cartoon that's named after the hotel. Because 8 episodes is not enough to talk about politics, a war and a 6 month redemption course (the latter even happened behind the screen with only some verbal hints given about the amazing secretive progress the hotel guests made that we were not allowed to see!)

(Had this cartoon stayed indie, there would have been a possibility of making more episodes and tackling more themes properly. But big name broadway actors are more important than that, it appears)

Back to Adam.

He is not even a good villain. He really should have been more of a background antihero. Give the man some sedatives, for f's sake! Where did all that rabidity even come from, after centuries of living in Heaven? Honestly, he'd be expected to act calmer and wiser than how he actually did, especially with how old he is (as old as the earth itself). But instead it's like he got frozen in a state of a dumb jock bully from high school

Imagine if Adam allowed Charlie and her hotel guests to prove that redemption is possible, out of principle, or curiosity. Hell, maybe even allow him to threaten to kill them, but not straight away! Later, after they fail to prove him wrong! If that's what Adam's role had been, the hotel part would have gotten time to breathe and more spotlight

All Adam did in the series, was:

1. make a lot of excessive noise

2. do dumbass things (and it wasn't even explained WHY he's the way he is, not even a single flashback or his own musings and thoughts shown, which makes all of his actions fall flat in every sense)

3. break the remains of logic (Heaven looks plain dumb because of him, not able to tell sinning from non sinning and to judge human souls properly. It's not even corruption, since Adam is not that important or benefitial to Heaven, an actual archangel like Michael could have been leading exorcists in his place and do a better job.... it's just stupidity)

And then Adam just died, for nothing and with no consequences.

I mean, straight after Adam's death Lucifer is immediately trying to divert the viewer's attention: "who wants pancakes? :D". It's like the cartoon itself doesn't care that the first human, one of the most mysterious beings in vivzieverse and someone who badly needed a second chance and therapy, just died. By a very stupid joke too (Niffty didn't even have to stab him).

In short, Adam's plotline is a huge waste of screen time...

And while his final smile to Lute may give us some hints that there's something good inside Adam, but it's more akin to mockery. Since we were never shown that there's more to Adam besides "the main character's opponent=ultimate bad"

And of course Lucifer was retconned into a pathetic uwu boi, who's depression and "silliness" have overshadowed the fact that he practically doomed humanity to a life full of pain, suffering and surviving and took away Adam and Eve's home. We don't even get the slightest glimpse of what exactly Lucifer DREAMED of that was so important to force him to do the humans dirty. Meaning it was something abstract and not thought-through anyway.

(Free will my ass.. Adam and Lilith did as they pleased in Eden without the free will, Adam ordering his wives around, Lilith being able to defy him and Eve being able to disobey God. What good did "free will" from that fruit even do them? If anything, it only did harm to everyone)

And so now this daft egotist is being portrayed as this selfless harmless character only for the sake of contrasting the painfully obvious bad evil that Adam is.

That comes off as black and white writing, fit more for a childrens cartoon, despite the show critisizing Adam for thinking in black and white terms. Not a good look

[ayenah-ayenah]

spoiler!!! s2 good omens

I'm not sure if what I'm about to blabber about is meant to mean something else entirely, but I kinda thought in s2 they have sort of established, or confirmed, that Crowley was an archangel before he fell.

So, let me start with this conversation here in the second ep

Note the "only the mightiest of archangels"

Then Crowley says this

And she didn't laugh. It wasn't a joke. She didn't think it was ridiculous, she didn't mock him for saying that. It was a seriously possible scenario that Crowley did that kind of miracle (bc he was capable of such)

Then, of course, these scenes in ep 6

He casually opens it, confirming he was high in ranking as an angel.

Then this shot follows which really felt like they were making it obvious that Crowley was an archangel

The way it focuses on Crowley in this specific statement.

That's all I've got, really. But I really felt like they were making it obvious and pointing out that Crowley was an archangel.

Ep 2, in that car, the conversation they had, when I first watched it, I really 'knew' they were confirming him as once an archangel. Unless there was a rank above archangel and so, Crowley was that then.

...

Bonus, if I am right

then it's a running joke that archangels don't remember saraqael lmao

Btw, I'm not really fond or, let's say, attached to the idea of Crowley being once an archangel. Like, I don't really care who he used to be. I just made this post bc I haven't seen anyone point out how the show has been dropping hints.

[aziraphales-library]

hi! i don't know if this ask has been done before but do you have any comedy fic recs? i've had enough of angst for a bit and i just want to read aziracrow bicker and laugh out loud :))

Hey. We have #humour, #humor, #crack, and #bickering tags, for all your laughing needs. Here are more to add...

Seamstress of Soho by GayDemonicDisaster (M)

Season 2 spoilers! When Mrs. Sandwich spots a suspicious new guy apparently lurking on her turf, the misunderstanding leads to an unlikely friendship between the ‘seamstress’ and a demon. So in episode 6 we see that Mrs. Sandwich is clearly at ease with Crowley and he with her, enough to share a joke together. Combine that with the curious sign on her door which might just be referring to Crowley, and we have a little buddy comedy in the making. I decided to explore the backstory of how they came to know one another between season 1 and the beginning of season 2. While this little comedy is about sex workers, there is NO sex in it, and rated M solely for oblique references to things like contraceptive devices and so on - honestly it could get away with a “teen and up” rating but I like to err on the side of caution.

Pass the Remote, Angel by Mrs_Cake_Is_Here (M)

Aziraphale has returned to Heaven, leaving Crowley a tv binge-watching wreck. However, healing can come from the most unlikeliest of places. While Muriel has been instructed to provide daily reports of the demon’s emotional state, they find that sharing time together, even by watching a scary show, can be the catalyst that builds friendships. And they’d probably both be couch potatoes by now if the Supreme Archangel hadn’t just gone missing.

Christmas Lights by FuzzyGoblin (T)

Christmas Lights is on the agenda at the monthly meeting of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Traders Association, but it's not the only thing on Mr Brown's, of Brown's World of Carpets, mind. As he pines for the mysterious bookseller, his efforts are thwarted by the tall ginger goth.

The Book Thieves by ThingsJustHappenSometimes (T)

“Did they steal it? Professional book thieves, probably going around in their car stealing books.” Be careful what you tell an adolescent antichrist who has the ability to warp reality, he might just make things real. - - - Featuring: A confused ineffable duo in ridiculous costumes, a presumed relationship, overpowered magical books, meddling humans, multiple chase scenes, and a generally all around silly action-packed time. - - - [If you like 1920s Costumes, Indiana Jones, Isekai Vibes, and/or That-One-Auction-Heist-Scene from Uncharted 4, you’ll like this story.]

Rattle Those Pots & Pans by Mackaley (M)

“My instructions…” He parted his mouth as he searched for a word. “Instruct that I just get right into it. You all have been brought here tonight because you have one thing in common: you’re all being blackmailed.” A tense hush fell through the room. “You’re all paying what you can afford - in some cases I’m sure more than you can afford - to prevent your secrets from being exposed. And none of you know who is currently blackmailing you.” Gabriel scoffed. “This is ridiculous. I’m an upstanding member of the international finance community - what could I possibly have done to be blackmailed about?” “You’re a member of the international finance community,” Crowley drawled. ----- A Good Omens Clue (1985) AU

through the tides by viperinz (T)

With that thought, Aziraphale takes to asking experts if his feelings are something more or just love for his dearest, most sweetest friend. If he wasn’t sure himself, then surely the experts on the internet will have something for him. Which brings him to the front of his computer, ready to search something up on the search engine he has pulled up. He’s not one to ask too many questions, but he supposes it won’t hurt. He starts typing, and is satisfied with his search of "Am I in love with my best friend?" Straight to the point, and very concise. Aziraphale has no doubt he’ll find what he’s looking for. He presses enter on the keyboard, and a bunch of results flood in. “Oh, dear,” he gasps at the mass amount of answers. Where is he supposed to start?

Aziraphale discovers the wonderful world of online love quizzes and WikiHow, all in the process of wooing and confessing his love to Crowley.

- Mod D