#something something about being molded by the environment you grew up in

[part-toons]

Mouthful of diamonds

inspired by this scene:

[rosicheeks]

Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..

I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.

I was texting my sister today about it and she said

“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”

I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences

[reasonsforhope]

"While tourists visiting Mexican beaches complain about piles of smelly seaweed, one Mexican gardener reckoned it was something like a gift.

The governments in places like Cancun have been required to clear away as much as 40,000 tons of sargassum seaweed, which smells like rotten eggs, but Omar de Jesús Vazquez Sánchez is steering it away from the landfills and into a kiln, where he makes adobe-like blocks that pass regulation as a building material.

He started SargaBlock to market the bricks, which are being highlighted by the UN Development Program as a stroke of brilliance, and a sustainable solution to a current environmental problem.

His story begins back in 2015 when, like any experienced laborer, he found rich people were stuck with a job they didn’t want to do. In this case, it was cleaning up the sargassum on the beaches of the Riviera Maya.

Omar grew up in poverty, immigrated to the US as a child to become a day laborer, and eventually dropped out of school and became a substance abuser. The American dream never appealed to him as much as a “Mexican dream”—a mix of memories from his childhood and dreams of being a gardener back home, so he moved back.

His time feeling unwanted as an addict and immigrant gave him a unique perspective on the smelly seaweed.

“When you have problems with drugs or alcohol, you’re viewed as a problem for society. No one wants anything to do with you. They look away,” Omar told Christian Science Monitor in a translated interview.

“When sargassum started arriving, it created a similar reaction. Everyone was complaining, I wanted to mold something good out of something everyone saw as bad.”

The ecology and environment offices of Quintana Roo, the legislative area that includes the city of Cancun, approved the SargaBlocks for use, and similar organic-based blocks have been reckoned as being capable of enduring 120 years.

The UN Development Program selected Omar’s work to be featured in their Accelerator Lab global broadcast to alert the world of its value and ingenuity.

There are all kinds of naturally-occurring pollutants or burdens that could be used in construction, and the UNDP hoped that by sharing Omar’s vision of the future of the Caribbean’s sargassum problem, it would inspire others to act in similar ways.

Bricks and cement can be great sources to use up naturally-occurring material that’s dangerous or burdensome—like this Filippino community using the ash from volcanic eruptions to make bricks.

Omar has been fortunate enough to be able to donate 14 “Casas Angelitas,” or homes made of SargaBlock, to families in need, and seems to be exceedingly close to achieving his “Mexican dream.”"

-via Good News Network, 4/24/23

[indigodiskmybeloved]

May I please have your Mochi Desires AU trio? Do you have headcannons or ideas on how they act?

Casually dumps info on ye

So, Pechakeen's mochi not only draws out desires and capabilities, but who's to say it can't change personalities as well?

Nemona:

Due to Florian/Juliana not existing in this AU, the Paldea Trio never got their proper arcs. Nemona never found anyone to match her skill set,and because of that, she grew more and more desperate, even trying to convince Arven and Penny to join competitive just to help her, even when they don't want to.

If Penny or Arven speak up about it, Nemona's confidence easily gets shattered, her self image of being the best destroyed with a few words, and it can be difficult to get her feeling like herself again. So, the two agreed not to speak about it, of fear they may hurt Nemona more devastating than before.

So Pechakeen gifted him with a team straight from smogon, and due to Kieran and Carmine working to save them, Nemona gets to battle them all she wants, even if they are scared and terrified

However, the longer Nemona is possessed, the more she loses herself. The battles turn from somewhat friendly to harsh and controlling, essentially molding Kieran into competitive. All of Nemona's energy go into her battles, so when she isn't battle, she sways and staggers quite a bit, often dragging out her words. Okidogi frequently prevents her from collapsing and hurting herself.

When Geeta learns of what had happened to Nemona, she is devastated, and overcome with guilt and the need to fix things, and be the champion Nemona always aspired to be.

Penny:

Team Star got disbanded, and Penny wasn't allowed to have contact with them, as the school and Director Clavell had deemed them a "bad influence; disturbance to the learning environment," etc.

Their behavior gradually slipped, becoming more quiet and depressed, not having the energy or social life to do anything. And when Carmine yells at them, it triggers the similar response that Penny had with bullies: covering your head and running away.

So now what does mean for Penny, when Pechakeen offers to help? Well, they become more assertive, not taking shit from anyone. However, that quickly evolved into Penny becoming more snappy and bitter, and then eventually becoming a bully themself, yelling at Nemona for literally anything, berating them if they stepped out of line.

When Nemona breaks free, her first instinct isn't to battle, or look for a new rival.

It's to save the ones she loves most, and apologize for hurting them.

And right now, that is Penny and Arven.

Oh, and speaking of which....

Arven:

He had the most drastic change out of the trio. His wish was mainly to be in a world where his father was there and loved him, something that Professor Turo was not capable of doing. Not only that, it was a world where Mabosstiff was alive as well, so everything is peachy!

Except.... Not really. Unlike the others, Arven has no connection to Penny and Nemona through the toxic chain. His thoughts are more muddled, and distant, and memories of them fade away, as Pechakeen doesn't want them interfering with the paradise Arven is living in.

Because his physical body is deteriorating. Since Pechakeen is a decayed Glimmora, it needs a new host to survive, as the peach body is decaying and rotting after all this time. So, what's better than a human?

So Arven's body is currently a host for Pechakeen and Glimmet to survive and use to get around, able to withstand attacks from Paradox monsters that destroyed the body of Glimmora in the first place.

Of course, they take advantage and have a bit of fun, as they become more dramatic and theatric, basically removing all of Arven's blunt and assertive personality.

And the dramatic movements don't last for long, as flowers and glimmet start sprouting, basically using Arven as a host to live off of, until they can detach and live elsewhere. However, Arven has no idea this is happening, and gets paranoid when he feels something is tearing from his body; he just doesn't know what.

Wow, that got dark. But yea. Mochi Desires AU is fucked up. Happy Mochi Day :3

[rottenpumpkin13]

Sometimes I wonder. Of all the characters in FF7 that were ruined or violated by Shinra….like the OG main cast that were broken by Shinra in different ways…, the common people, the villagers, the SOLDIERs, the employees…all the people that were used and experimented on…the Turks, some of whom were likely orphans cruelly raised by Shinra, the powerful Tsviets and Deepground SOLDIERs, all humans that were tormented and brutally pushed to their mental and physical limits…, and all of Hojo’s broken specimens…

Angeal and Genesis…all of them…

Out of all of these people, many snapped or lost their minds or resisted or became cruel or lost themselves…

But none of them were like Sephiroth. None of them were the strongest warrior of mankind that nearly destroyed the planet out of hatred for everything humans stood for and were. None of them snapped on the level he did where they wanted to destroy the entire world. I had to sit and wonder why.

But then I thought, maybe what sets him apart from all of them is two simple things. His father was the worst of humanity and his partial “mother” was an alien creature set on destroying humanity.

When you think about it, Jenova and Hojo become like two extremes of opposing forces and Sephiroth is the offspring.

I might be too optimistic but something tells me that if he didn’t have these two simple connections, he would have stayed sane or else not lashed out in the most explosive way of all. He would have been more like the others. Maybe hateful of humans like Weiss but not determined to wipe them out.

Shinra ruined everyone, but I don’t think Shinra alone could not have ruined Sephiroth. Jenova and Hojo were the only beings strong enough to push him over the edge when you consider it.

If you think about it Sephiroth was bred from the beginning to inevitably break down.

In my opinion, this isn't the case for other characters. Although everyone had reasons to choose their paths, they didn’t succumb as Sephiroth did. What sets them apart is that everyone had seemingly normal lives until something Shinra-related ruined them. Even Aerith got to experience some semblance of normalcy in the slums with Elmyra, and even Yuffie, who grew up witnessing her country being massacred by Shinra, had the freedom to choose her own path. Vincent, Cloud, Barrett, Tifa, Cid—everyone was their own person with freedom and something that set them apart from Shinra before it ruined their lives in some way.

Sephiroth never had that.

He was raised in an environment that molded him, stripped away his humanity, and reduced him to an obedient killing machine. Despite having humanity and a good heart initially, it had to have been consistently suppressed by Hojo, who lied to him about his mother, the Jenova project, and the entirety of how he came to be.

It looks like Jenova emerged at the peak of Sephiroth's breakdown. Whether she controlled him to some extent or was simply there as he lost his grip on reality⏤serving as his final comfort in the form of "his mother," ⏤is up to you. He snaps either way, whether mind control was involved or not due to the stressors he was facing at the time.

It doesn't help that he's the most powerful being in his universe that was manipulated into compliancy through lies by Hojo from the very beginning. That was a disaster waiting to happen.

Another point is that other characters had time to absorb and reel from what happened to them, unlike Sephiroth. This is what sets him apart from Genesis and Angeal. Genesis had the time to orchestrate a plan, and Angeal had someone there, with events happening at spaced intervals—not all at once, like what happened in Nibelheim, where Sephiroth went from the reactor to discovering everything in the library in the same night.

The moment Sephiroth experienced a shock and broke down, Jenova was there. He had no room to escape, and the one thing he had sought his whole life—his mother—was there. Even if Sephiroth hadn’t burned down Nibelheim or chosen a non-violent path, his actions would still have been inevitably destructive at some point, whether self-destructive or his Jenova cells finally leading him down a path similar to "his mother’s". Hojo spat him out and Jenova lapped him up.

The factors that went into why Sephiroth ended up the way he is are complex as shit but you're onto something when you say Jenova and Hojo are the two catalysts. Without Hojo using Jenova, Sephiroth would've been a regular person.

[fricc-darn]

Hey I really like your B.E.N hcs and I was wondering if maybe I could possibly hear some of your hcs for Benjamin if you have any by chance?

(Love ur work btw :])

AWW thank you so much :DDD💖💖!! I def have hcs Benji! (warning for substance abuse and child neglect)

Ben is a fairly sweet child with shimmery silver eyes and freckles sprinkled throughout his skin. When Ben was alive, he was a bit of an outcast. He didn't have many friends or people to talk to. In addition to being big-boned, having vitiligo and autism made it hard to connect with other kids.

His voice was squeaky, and there was always a lisp present due to his missing front tooth. Ben's school experience was mediocre at best, and at worst, there would be days he wouldn't attend. The overwhelming environment sets off his selective mustiness.

Back home wasn't much better, but at least he had some space to himself. Ben lived in a trailer with his mother and father. It would've been a quaint place to live if there was continuous upkeep. There were piles of accumulated clutter that made certain areas claustrophobic. The home's wasted potential of the home was being eaten away with mold and rot. Questionable living conditions for anyone, especially a twelve-year-old.

As for his parents, they were also questionable. They were never home for long periods, and were poor listeners. Life hadn't been rough for either of his parents, leading to them using unfavorable coping skills.

His mother was a job hopper. She was kind-hearted but jittery and not all there. She would take any opportunity to shower her boy with affection. In a way, she was attempting to make up for the lost time.

Ben's father was a blue-collar worker, with calloused hands and a rough exterior. The man spoke with a drunken slur. He loved Ben but did it through tough love. He wants his boy to grow up strong and know how to stand his ground. Ben was too trusting for his own good.

Their unintentional neglect made Ben find other avenues of entertainment besides doodling images of Link in his sketchbooks and playing Majora's Mask. There were a select few of the kids he met up with after school to play with in the park.

Through a friend of a friend, Ben met Matt. An older kid, who seemed like he had his life together. They hit it off instantly, growing close like brothers. The two called, played games, and had sleepovers when Ben's parents weren't there to supervise him. If Ben needed something—anything—he could trust Matt.

Of course, when Matt started to talk about this group he was a part of, it piqued Ben's interest. Did Ben understand the logistics of it? Absolutely not! Yet if there was a chance to be like his idol, he'd take it. He'd be strong and courageous, and more people would like him. What was not to love?

Soon enough, it was time for his ascension. The gentle neighborhood boy died scared and alone. Struggling for his last breath in an insignificant body of cold water. Ben's body was left to decay at the bottom, getting washed out by the sediments.

His body was never found. Everyone in the area knew how Ben died. Some murmurings circulated about the cause of his death. However, those theories didn't last long. It was written off as an accident with no further investigation. After the initial short-lived panic, everyone was quiet. Details were kept vague. As if everything were fine.

Ben was stuck in this digital purgatory. He didn't get to be the hero he wanted to be. He couldn't move; he couldn't even speak. Ben was trapped within this statue, like locked in paralysis. Time passed, and he grew sadder that his death was the catalyst of this experiment. The thought became horrifying when Ben realized he wasn't alone.

[alarrytale]

But how do you know the fake laddy image is fake and not how he wants to do. He was forced at a you g age into a plastic environment where he had to almost perform at all times to protect an image, what if he just feels comfortable being a little bit trashy?

Hi, anon!

I've talked about this many times before, but it's about who you think Louis is when he's totally himself, when he doesn’t have to put up a mask or project a certain image. It's about who you think he is when he's with Harry. His image in 1D weren't totally him, but it wasn't that far off. His current image is an image that is curated to gain male fans, set him apart from the other 1D members and make him look straight and a father. Louis Tomlinson tm really wants to be indie, he really wants to be looked at as a common lad and as someone who grew up in the brit pop era listening to Oasis and Blur. It's pretentious, it's really far from the truth, and it isn't genuine or authentic and it shows. There are elements of it that’s real, but it's more about how he wants to come across rather than who he really is. He badly wants to look cool and he seeks male validation.

What we do know for a fact is that when he says in interviews that he got into music at 12-13 by listening to Oasis, that's a blatent lie. He was the biggest S club 7 fan according to his mother, he listened to Nickleback and got a Far Away tattoo. He went to see the Script in concert. His old bebo account doesn’t lie. He raves about the Artic Monkeys being from close to Doncaster but he's never said he saw them perform as a teen. He simply wasn't into that kind of music back then. He was more likely to jam out to ABBA or top 40 songs, than indie music. He looked up to Robbie Williams and he was too busy drooling over Chad Michael Murry in One tree hill and being a sappy romantic to listen to broody realism lyrics and heavy guitar music.

I do think Louis has changed and developed. I do think he loves football and sport and always have, i do think he's more comfortable in joggers and a t-shirt. I don't think wearing suspenders was him. I do believe he's caring and loving and a hopless romantic. I believe him when he says he's a half glass full kind of person. I don't believe him when he claims to be into punk rock and the anarchy tattoo makes me cringe.

Louis is a gay man hiding his natural flamboyance and mannerisms to come off as more masculine, straight and cool to an indie and male audience. He's deeply insecure, because he's been told by powerful people that he can't come off as gay, because he'll lose fans. He is still adhering to the same self-policing since the 1D days and still being self-concious. His image is still straight, even straighter than he came off as while in 1D. It's even worse trying to appeal to an indie audience and a male target group than teenage girls. He's trying very hard to fit the indie mold in all ways possible. But it's not totally him.

Also, he might love the athleisure wear and the 28 official programme stuff, i can believe that. I don't think he hates the indie image they're going for. I think it's something he thinks he can pull off, but they do need to exaggerate and build a narrative to sell the image because it isn't authentic nor genuine. That's important in that genre and to his target audience to be looked at as cool and accepted.

At the same time, he should also know that most of his fans aren't british and brit pop nostalgic like he's going for. His fandom still msotly consists of women who loves his softer side, his pop ballads and are into his looks. They reject toxic masculinity and most know he's gay. Louis praising Liam Ga*lagher is a red flag and is extremely off putting. Louis can want to be as trashy as he likes, but he's not gaining fans doing what he's currently doing. It's that simple. He's not indie and he's not genuine. It's easy to see he's still insecure, still not free and himself and he's trying really hard to come off as cool to indie fans and men.

I'd love to see more of the real Louis. Real Louis is a multidimentional man. He's not a laddy lad who is emotionally stunted, and only smokes and drinks, and brags on social media about his drug use. He isn't someone who mocks his fans and yells at them. He's not the stereotype he's trying to live up to.

I do think he's tired of complying to the cleanliness clause he was under in 1D, so hence the exaggerated and juvenile drinks and drugs promo. But it's very much a concious decision to perpetuate an image. It's not cute, and it's only slightly attractive to 14 year olds.

Regardless, he can do whatever he likes, but that choice has consequences. He's starting to see those consequences more and more. So is he going to do something about it to mitigate the consequences or not? I think he should if he wants to continue to be a world touring artist, but maybe he'd rather go full indie and play for fifty male indie audience members in Scunthorpe.

[dvnbis]

hiiii everyone! i'm cherry and present to you my little light, ha danbi. i haven't been in an rp for a couple years now, so it might take me a minute to adjust... but i'm super excited to get the ball rolling again. below the cut is a brief intro to this nervous, former daycare teacher. if anyone prefers messaging on discord just let me know and i'll give it to ya!

i haven't made her pages yet, but plan to power through some tonight. like her stats, a lil bio, and finishing up her pinterest board. i'll have all of that linked on the blog soon!

PRE-APOCALYPSE: growing up in a secure environment with parents who always had the best intentions, danbi wanted for almost nothing. almost. facing the boredom of a mundane life took a toll overtime and she was left second guessing most of her decisions, wondering if any of them were her own at the end of the day. straight out of high school and after a year of certification, becoming a teacher at a small daycare was the most confident she’d ever felt in her choices.

POST-APOCALYPSE: only a year into teaching and she’s stuck in the classroom with confused, crying children. petrified by the chaos and reality of it all danbi can’t even move to comfort any of them as another teacher is moving to take care of the few that remain. a few days after the outbreak she’s found herself alone, and amazed she had even made it to the seoul qz in one piece. over the following weeks she starts biding her time in cramped spaces with the situation seeming more and more bleak as the kdrt strengthens their hold on everyone’s collars. 

JOINING THE FIREFLIES: she certainly wasn’t physically strong nor did she have much conviction in what she could offer the fireflies, but anything was better than the kdrt’s iron grip in seoul. was she ever one to make a solid path for herself? no, but with people coming and going, and mostly disappearing, she decided to abandon her life there before getting completely left behind. danbi chalked it up to dumb luck or maybe she was more resourceful than she’d ever get credit for as she stumbled up to the gate of busan qz. 

VOLUNTEERING FOR DIVISION FOUR: seeing a change in how people were treated under firefly reign, she started seeking a change in herself. when the request for volunteers on an upcoming mission caught her attention she decided to put her name in the hat. mulling the decision over and over again was all there was left to do until then.

about.

she grew up with a few close friends and didn't have siblings, so besides reading or watching tv she found herself bored most days. she read a lot of comics, manga, and watched a few animes when she had time, pre-apocalypse. specifically shoujo animes molded her into a hopeless romantic of sorts.

she is extremely compassionate and has a quiet care for others that might go unnoticed at times. she's always listening and watching those that surround her, and makes it a goal to put them at as much ease as possible.

a talker. it's not always immediate, but once she gets going it's hard to slow her down. she loves lively conversation and interacting with like-minded people, but isn't opposed to arguing her point and learning from others.

she might not be everyone's cup of tea because of her honest friendliness. being too much and simultaneously not enough is something she definitely struggles with. as much as she tries not to be she is keenly aware of how self-conscious she is.

she was somewhat close with her parents, more so her father, and shaped her goals around their ideas. it wasn't intentional on their part, but she was extremely focused on making them proud growing up. she hoped to be as kind as they were. most major decisions she's made were guided by them, so while they supported her teaching career, they were kind of shocked when that's the path she took after high school.

she adored working at the daycare and couldn't have picked a better job. she devoted her attention to the children in her class everyday. she had only been in it for a year before the outbreak happened which devastated her in a number of ways. the fate of those children weighs heavy on her mind and often wishes she were a different person in those moments of weakness. maybe she could've helped them more at the end.

she's genuinely a threat to no one. she doesn't have the headspace to to harm others, and this becomes an internal struggle when she's in harms way. she doesn't have the fight or flight. she just gets stuck in her head and can't make a decision to save her life when it comes down to it. she thinks she's just extremely lucky.

she likes the scavenger role. it gives her purpose in this everchanging new world and keeps her busy/distracted. a bonus is that she gets to bring home little things she finds that her companions might like. along with that she's very organized and can quickly narrow down and find what she's looking for in and out of the qz.

hiding is another thing she's been good at since before the outbreak. you won't find her unless she wants to be found. she likes her quiet time with her thoughts and seeks out spaces for that often.

if she could get her body to move when she's in danger she'd be okay with a knife, but that's on a good day. like a deer in headlights you'll have to drag her away from chaos most of the time. like i said, no fight or flight. she's not physically strong and lacks the training to be physically fit, so she complains a lot when she's having to run or move around heavy items. she'll always try her best though.

she can be a little bit of a crybaby and isn't afraid to let the waterworks start. she cries a lot. happy? cries. excited? tears up. someone broke a favored item of hers? crying. someone else starts crying? she's choking up.

connections.

we can move these around or combine them however! just some ideas that we can play around with.

someone that doesn't necessarily care for her, but danbi doesn't get the hint and keeps trying to make a connection

a brief romance before the outbreak that fizzled out and it was just one of those timing things, but she never really got over it

someone who takes advantage of her kindness and lets her believe they have only the best of intentions when asking for favors around the qz

someone who helps her get a better grasp for combat and tries to help her get around freezing up. maybe it's one of those things where they'd rather not spend their time on her, but they're like you've gotta stop turning into a rabbit and just standing there. you're gonna get yourself or me killed because it's somehow always me dragging you along

for now that's all i've got, but i'd love to hear from everyone! i'm down for literally anything. like this and i'll come to you for some plotting, or feel free to go ahead and shoot me a message. thanks for reading c:

[viiktorious]

⧼   sean teale, cis man, he/him   /   achilles come down by gang of youths + viktor - latin origin meaning 'champion' you were named with the intention that no matter what the situation you're in you'll always come out on top. it's a heavy burden to place on someone's shoulder, and you felt the weight at a very young age. lucky for you you've always shown promise and talent. the sky blessed you with the innate ability to fly across it with ease, to do what many non-magical men can only dream of. it's a blessing and you've taken it with stride. it fills you in ways nothing else seems to do. with a broom and golden in your hand you've become victorious; family - a sacred bond. the reason you exist and the collection of hands that molded you into the man you are now. in an environment where the pull of darkness is like a siren song they are the reason you have not been led astray. the past, the people you've lost have become the guiding light in your life. friends - the family you make. the reason you know that sometimes some bonds are just as strong as the pull of the blood coursing through your veins. blood you would readily spill if those bonds were ever endangered. fiercely loyal to a fault. you'd put your life on the line for anyone that earned a spot within your heart; love - old english, german, latin or ancient greek. to love is to care. filial, platonic or romantic. the latter... for you? unknown. more elusive than a golden snitch. it is something you dream about, to have what so many before you were able to obtain. the path of a victor is lonely it seems.  ⧽   ━━   hey, isn’t that VIKTOR KRUM? i read a daily prophet article on them, once ; the THIRTY TWO year old pure blood WIZARD is a DURMSTRANG INSTITUTE alumnus who has gone on to be a WORLD CLASS QUIDDITCH PLAYER & TEMPORARY HOGWARTS CO-COACH. i’ve heard they can be quite LOYAL & HONORABLE, but i don’t know… they came off very CLOSED OFF & SHORT TEMPERED in that interview. it really is hard to know what to believe these days though, isn’t it?

he's an only child and it shows. his parents ( aleksander and stefania krum ) spoiled him quite a bit, but that love also came with very high expectations for viktor. their affection seemed to be a little bit transactional, though i don't believe they did it intentionally and had his best interest at hand... but he realized at a young age that if he got good grades then soon after he would get a new broom, or the toys he'd been eyeing at the store on their last outing. it was sort of a 'win-win' situation but also an incredibly heavy burden. though it was also partially self-imposed. ( he was a little bit too proud to not strive to be the best in everything he was involved in )

he's very much an example of 'only child syndrome' with certain traits ( most of them not good ) though mainly the difficulty to socialize, the inability to share, the perfectionism, introversion, sensitivity to criticism, and as he grew up... the loneliness. which honestly didn't get any better once he started to show some real talent for quidditch, but it seemed like besides his teammates everyone only wanted to get close to him for their five seconds of fame and he honestly hated that.

the fact that he seemed to be a bit of an outlier in durmstrang, a dark arts institute with igor karkaroff as a headmaster during his schooling, also didn't make things any easier. the people he actually trusted were very few, he was able to count them with one hand. his short temper made him very ... use fists first, ask questions later ... so you know, not the best way to make meaningful connections !

then his last year came and we all know how that turned out, but basically: visiting hogwarts ( good ), meeting hermione ( very good ), befriending harry ( also very good ), being selected for the triwizard tournament ( not in his plans but why not ? new experiences and all ), being manipulated like a puppet with the imperius curse by a death eater, forced to torture cedric diggory with the cruciatus curse and then getting stunned and disqualified ? ( 0 / 10 quite frankly very awful, would NOT recommend, still have nightmares about it ).

after that i like to imagine he graduated and started trying to live his best life as a quidditch player then fast forward to fleur's wedding ... someone he ✨ trauma bonded ✨ and kept in contact with ... getting ambushed and attacked by even more death eaters ? click here for his reaction !

feeling that attack a little bit too personal he decided to stay in britain and help the order of the phoenix as much as he could. i don't think he was heavily involved in the second wizarding war, not in the front lines and definitely not nearly as much as he would have wanted to be. but he did provide aid, and a safe heaven to those that needed to get out of britain and had gotten hurt somehow. ( he was a pretty good healer, almost had to be with how accident prone quidditch players are ) but he did his best to help as much as possible. i have more Thoughts here and Possibilities but i still need to unravel them some more. him not being heavily involved also meant he didn't find out about many things until way after the fact ( mainly harry's "death" ) he only stayed until the funeral and then promptly went back to bulgaria to try to keep on living despite everything that happened.

back in bulgaria... home doesn't feel like home anymore. so he dives into his passion full time, not being one too in tune with his emotions he decides to do his utmost to ignore and move on. and it does work for a few years at least, but the universe has a funny way of repeating events and he gets word of what's happening again. and so he takes a "break" from his quidditch career and contacts professor mcgonagall for a position as a temporary co-coach... though his intention is more being involved, actually helping this time and hopefully protecting those he holds dear.

aaaaand... this is where we are now ♡

[tadpolesonalgae]

AHHHH u don't know how happy i am that ppl are talking abt Please... bc i remember stumbling upon that fic and seeing that it's been a while since the third part and kinda dejectedly accepting that would be the last of the fic we get 💔

u mentioned that the relationship between azriel and reader will likely not be something romantic or sexual. what kind of vibe would their relationship be in that case? because i think in that fic, ur descriptions of how they perceive each other and themselves were a bit more sensible(?) than the actual books (sorry sjm lmao) in that they both seem to acknowledge that a 500+ year gap is..... y'know.. a pretty big difference and that there's an insane gulf of just, experience in life/war/knowledge/etc due to that age gap despite how powerful reader can be with her truthtelling? powers.

for some reason i can't see them being friends? it feels more like,, a mentor-mentee type of relationship.

idk if az has actually been portrayed like that or if my brain has just convinced myself so with wishful thinking 🤭 but i think he has a somewhat? protective??? nature about reader???????? like he knows that she grew up in hewn city and under keir's "parenting" no less so he's aware what she's been taught and molded to be made into. but he also seems to know she shouldn't be in that type of environment? idk again maybe i've just been imagining things lol.

like, reader seems oddly naive and almost pure despite the cruelties she probably witnessed and been subjected to (if the implied language throughout the fic meant anything). in part 1 she allowed azriel, a 500+ y/o fae who literally pointed a knife to her face 2 seconds ago, to touch her with more or less no way to protect herself had azriel decided to do something she didn't want him to. and there's just slivers of moments throughout the fic that kinda makes u want to hug her bc girlie seems so lost abt herself and the world 😭😭 it's just very clear that she doesn't really have anyone to rely on so she latched on to the first person that showed Any ounce of human decency, and az isn't even overtly kind to her 😭 bro threatened to kill her so he could get the veritas thing and yet EVEN THEN he's still one of the nicer ppl she's met in her life (considering she trusted him enough to make the deal to have him touch her + asked him to comeback himself when returning it + doesn't hesitate when revealing potentially sensitive info + the way she subconsciously brought herself infront of his tent in part 3)

ALSO have reader and mor interacted with each other at all throughout her life???? i'm assuming they're sisters through keir (probably half sisters? idk if this has been addressed in the fic it's been a while since i've read it). i ask bc i can't imagine mor or even rhys would've just let her grow up in hewn city alone knowing how it was like for mor. so i've been assuming that keir probably hid reader or kept her sheltered to some degree before she reached a certain age or started to become useful to him with her powers, and at that point it was kinda too late for the ic to intervene or smth. now i'm wondering if reader harbours any resentment or emotion towards mor and/or rhysand, or if it's more of a disinterest like "that's someone that's apparently related to me but i don't rlly know them so 🤷‍♀️". i think there was a moment in part 1 that indicates that reader is scared of rhy's powers and him potentially wiping her memory during the i'll-give-you-the-veritas-if-you-touch-me deal thing so maybe there isn't any familiarity between them beyond that he's high lord of the night court 🤔

anyways sorry if i just started assuming a bunch of things that weren't there in the fic but something about Please... just makes me feral and want to go into hyper analyzing mode bc the plot, her being keir's daughter, the dynamic w her and az, all of it is so interesting to me

‘i remember stumbling upon that fic and seeing that it's been a while since the third part and kinda dejectedly accepting that would be the last of the fic we get 💔’

Oh my gosh no, please always feel free to drop by and ask about future parts to fics—I often get preoccupied with cbmthy so forget I have other things that people might be here for 🫠

I’ve actually started on Part 4 for please… and have gotten some future scenes planned out if you still want more after the next chapter!🧡💛

‘because i think in that fic, ur descriptions of how they perceive each other and themselves were a bit more sensible(?) than the actual books (sorry sjm lmao) in that they both seem to acknowledge that a 500+ year gap is..... y'know..’

That’s so sweet to say 😭 thank you 🫂

Honestly with please… reader is supposed to be in a pretty bad situation but not overly concerned about it? Sure it would be nice to leave, but she doesn’t imagine that’s possible so is content to set her mind to use by guarding Kier’s trove of treasures. Then with the strict court rules (particularly for her, being kier’s offspring and also female) she point blank doesn’t have an interest in finding someone else since that’s not what she’s been raised on? So when Az comes along, sure he’s beautiful, but he’s the High Lord’s Spymaster first and foremost, probably quite a few levels above her in terms of hierarchy, but on fairly similar footing hence the wariness but not blatant disinterest on her part.

‘sensible(?)’

I’m so sorry to go on a tangent here, but I’ve never seen anyone else do the ‘(?)’ thing (I might just have an awful memory though, sorry if I do 🫢) It’s such a useful little marker, I used to use it all the time in high-school essays when I was unsure about quotes 🤦

Anyway, tangent over! Sorry!

‘for some reason i can't see them being friends? it feels more like,, a mentor-mentee type of relationship.’

I think reader craves a companion of sorts and Az is currently the closest she has to that ideal. Though I agree I can’t see them forming a friendship in the traditional sense? Maybe they might grow to that in a century or two, but like you said with the vast difference in experience I imagine it would take a while for them to reach a similar level of understanding :)

‘idk if az has actually been portrayed like that or if my brain has just convinced myself so with wishful thinking 🤭 but i think he has a somewhat? protective??? nature about reader????????’

Stop because I read through the last three parts last night to help with writing part 4 and I can’t pull their dynamic to mind at the moment 🤦

I think in part 3 though there is that scene where he looks after her a little because he sees some shards of himself in her from the angle of being made to inflict torture on someone? But after having hurt a person together, I think reader might become a little shaky around him specifically, so we’ll see what happens in part 4 🫣🧡💛

‘like, reader seems oddly naive and almost pure despite the cruelties she probably witnessed and been subjected to (if the implied language throughout the fic meant anything).’

So we haven’t really gotten to see much of that (mainly because I hadn’t intended this to be so plot-heavy but shh) but I suppose it’s more indifference to the things that happen around her rather than ignorance/her being unaware of them. I’d say it’s why she’s more blasé when Az first finds her in part one, because she knows he can’t just kill her despite having the ability to, if that makes sense?

‘she allowed azriel, a 500+ y/o fae who literally pointed a knife to her face 2 seconds ago, to touch her with more or less no way to protect herself had azriel decided to do something she didn't want him to.’

This is probably something I’ll be touching more on in part 4 and that was kind of alluded to in part 3, but with her powers of truth she’s able to get a general sense of a person. Obviously she’s still pretty young compared to other fae and has grown up in the Hewn city, so the types of people she’s encountered have been mostly the same which makes things a little difficult. However, she didn’t get the impression Azriel particularly wanted to kill her, or that he was particularly untrustworthy which is why she was so ready to make a deal with him. (That and also girlie just needed to feel something, desperately)

‘it's just very clear that she doesn't really have anyone to rely on so she latched on to the first person that showed Any ounce of human decency, and az isn't even overtly kind to her 😭’

Compared to how he can be with his family, no he wasn’t kind to her, but he wasn’t cruel to her—which, having grown up in the Hewn City, is as good as wrapping her up in a warm blanket and setting a tray full of delicious food on her lap. Although I think he’s gotten a little more gentle with her in part 3? Maybe? 😶

‘so i've been assuming that keir probably hid reader or kept her sheltered to some degree before she reached a certain age or started to become useful to him with her powers, and at that point it was kinda too late for the ic to intervene or smth.’

Unfortunately again, I hadn’t really considered this angle 😶‍🌫️

I’d have to agree with you that Kier would have kept her hidden otherwise I feel like Mor would have been right there from day one to make sure her younger sister wouldn’t have to endure what she did.

With whether or not reader harnesses any resentment toward the IC, I’d say it’s a bit of a mix? She’d scared of Rhys, as literally anyone in the Hewn City should be, considering what sort of person he becomes, but beyond fear and maybe a twinge of admiration for Mor I don’t think she has particularly strong feelings toward them :/

‘anyways sorry if i just started assuming a bunch of things that weren't there in the fic but something about Please... just makes me feral and want to go into hyper analyzing mode bc the plot, her being keir's daughter, the dynamic w her and az, all of it is so interesting to me’

It’s no problem at all!!

It might take me a while to respond to slightly longer asks is all, but if you’re fine with that then I love getting to read through these!! I’m pretty sure you’re the first person to talk about please… specifically in such depth (which is so flattering, thank you so much) so I’m really happy to have a reason to return to it and I hope part 4 will have a similar essence of what you enjoyed in the first three parts! 🧡💛

[republicsecurity]

An Oral History Interview on a Cadets Journey

Interviewer: Thank you for being here with us today. Can you please start by telling us about your early years and how you ended up at the academy?

Conscript: Of course, I'd be happy to share. So, I grew up in a pretty average household. My parents were hardworking folks, but we didn't have much. They always emphasized the importance of education, though. They wanted me to have a better life than they did. So, when I was around 16, they heard about this rescue academy nearby.

Interviewer: Can you describe the academy for us? What was it like when you first arrived?

Conscript: Oh, sure. When I first got there, it was kind of like stepping into a whole new world. The academy had a certain elegance to it, you know? Beautiful campus, well-dressed instructors, and those uniforms! They looked like something out of a fancy hotel, those bellhop uniforms. I thought they were pretty cool.

Interviewer: It sounds like quite an experience. What was your daily life like at the academy during your first year?

Conscript: Well, the first year was relatively easygoing. We had our regular classes, just like any school. But there was this added layer of rescue-related stuff. We learned emergency medicine, tactics, leadership skills, and even physical education. Climbing was one of my favorite activities; it was a lot of fun.

Interviewer: Were there any memorable moments or challenges during that first year?

Conscript: Yeah, definitely. See, the academy wasn't just for kids who wanted to be there. Some of the boys had been sent there by their parents, not because they were interested but because of struggles at home. I mean, it was clear they weren't there by choice. But we all wore those snazzy uniforms, and it was hard to tell who was genuinely enthusiastic and who wasn't.

Interviewer: It must have been quite an environment to navigate. How did your parents and instructors react to your time at the academy?

Conscript: Oh, my parents were thrilled. They'd show me off on the weekends when I came home in that uniform, with my short military haircut. I was well-behaved, of course, because discipline was instilled in us from day one. The instructors, they seemed well-meaning too. They were strict but fair, and they wanted the best for us.

Interviewer: You mentioned there was always an "undercurrent" at the academy. Could you elaborate on that?

Conscript: Sure, it's hard to put into words, but there was this sense that there was something more to the academy than what we saw on the surface. Like, beneath the elegance and the uniforms, there was this... I don't know, this mystery. Interviewer: As we continue, can you tell us about how your experience evolved beyond that first year?

Conscript: When I turned 17, everything changed. They examined my brain and told me I was ready for neuro-based conditioning. It was a significant step, and it wasn't something they could just force upon me. I had to sign my consent, making me a full member of the paramedic corps.

Interviewer: That's a big decision to make at such a young age. What happened next?

Conscript: After that, they moved me to another part of the academy. It was this large, brutalist building with very few windows. The whole tone of the place changed. I went through the full treatment: neuro-based VR conditioning in those chambers, the head shaving, isolation from the outside world for six months, rigorous drill exercises, and of course, the iconic red flightsuit. I even got the ID tattoo, and we all lost our names, becoming just another part of the indoctrination process.

Interviewer: It must have been a shock to go from the elegance of the first year to this more intense and regimented environment. Can you tell us more about the neuro-based conditioning?

Conscript: Neuro-based conditioning was... intense, to say the least. It's hard to put into words what it's like to have your mind molded in such a way. They used VR technology to immerse us in all sorts of scenarios, scenarios designed to reshape our thinking, our reactions, and even our desires. It was an experience that profoundly changed me.

Interviewer: How did you and your fellow conscripts cope with these changes?

Conscript: Coping was difficult, especially in the beginning. We had no contact with the outside world, no names, just our ID tattoos. It felt like we were losing our individuality. But over time, we started to adapt to the routine. We had each other for support, and in a strange way, that camaraderie helped us endure the conditioning.

Conscript: The consent forms, looking back on them now, were quite chilling. They essentially gave the paramedic corps full control over our bodies and minds. I did read it carefully, but at that age, it felt like there was no real choice. I didn't know anyone who had opted out, even though it was technically possible.

Interviewer: That sense of limited options must have been quite overwhelming. Can you tell us more about your instructors during this intensive training period?

Conscript: Surprisingly, the instructors weren't bad people. I remember one instructor vividly, a nurse who was quite androgynous, with a shaved head and always dressed in that pristine white uniform adorned with medals on the chest. They were strict, of course, but it was clear they believed in the paramedic corps and its mission. Their dedication to the cause was unwavering, and they instilled that same dedication in us.

Conscript: The nurse instructor I mentioned earlier was indeed a unique character. He was a male, with a shaved head that accentuated his lean and angular features. What set him apart was not just his appearance but also his role in the paramedic corps. You see, while the paramedics had their distinctive male presentation and those iconic red flightsuits, he belonged to the Nursing Corps, which was quite different.

Interviewer: It's fascinating to hear about this distinction. Can you tell us more about his role and how he contributed to your training?

Conscript: Absolutely. The nurse instructor was incredibly knowledgeable. He seemed to possess a deep understanding of medical practices and emergency care, which was essential for our training. His role was to ensure that we, as future paramedics, not only knew how to perform life-saving procedures but also understood the medical aspects behind them. He taught us about anatomy, pharmacology, and the science of healing, all while emphasizing the practical skills needed in the field. He emphasized that being a paramedic meant more than just saving lives; it meant being a guardian of the republic's health and safety. His passion for the cause was infectious, and it played a significant role in shaping our outlook.

Interviewer: Is there anything else you remember from that time?

Conscript: Ah, yes, I remember that phase of my training vividly. The transition into becoming a tactical paramedic was a significant step, and it came with its own set of challenges and experiences.

Interviewer: Could you elaborate on your initial reluctance and how it changed over time?

Conscript: Certainly. At first, I must admit I was quite apprehensive about becoming a tactical paramedic. I had this preconceived notion that it would somehow dehumanize me, turn me into a cold, robotic figure. Perhaps it was influenced by some of the tactical instructors I encountered early on, who did indeed exhibit a rather stoic and disciplined demeanor. I didn't want to lose touch with my humanity.

Interviewer: It's understandable that you had concerns about maintaining your individuality and humanity.

Conscript: Exactly. But as time went on and I delved deeper into the training, my perspective began to shift. I realized that being a tactical paramedic didn't mean sacrificing my humanity; instead, it meant becoming an even more capable and efficient version of myself. The tactical instructors, while disciplined, were also incredibly skilled and dedicated to their craft. I began to admire their professionalism and saw the value in the training they provided.

Interviewer: It sounds like a highly specialized process. What happened after the measurements were taken?

Conscript: After the measurements, there was a waiting period during which the suit was crafted to fit me precisely. It was a bit like having a tailored outfit made, except this suit was designed for a very different purpose. When the day arrived for me to try on the tactical suit for the first time, I was filled with a mix of anticipation and curiosity.

Interviewer: Can you share more about that moment when you put on the tactical suit for the first time?

Conscript: Putting on the tactical suit was an experience I won't forget. The suit itself was a remarkable piece of technology. It was designed to provide maximum protection while allowing for mobility and functionality. As I stepped into it, I could feel the weight of the armor, and the helmet with its integrated HUD was a reminder of the responsibility that came with being a tactical paramedic. It was like donning a suit of power, and it gave me a sense of purpose and duty.

Interviewer: It seems like the introduction of the tactical suits brought about a significant change in your training. Could you elaborate on the challenges and benefits of this new technology?

Conscript: Certainly. The tactical suits were a game-changer in our training. They offered a level of control and immersion that was both awe-inspiring and disorienting. The helmets with their integrated HUDs were especially remarkable. They allowed our instructors to create training scenarios that blurred the lines between reality and simulation.

Interviewer: That sounds incredibly advanced. How did this affect your training experience?

Conscript: The immersive nature of the training was both a blessing and a challenge. On one hand, it provided an incredibly realistic simulation of the situations we might face as tactical paramedics. We could practice scenarios like rescue missions, disaster response, and medical emergencies with a level of authenticity that was unparalleled. It helped us develop our skills and adapt to high-stress situations.

Interviewer: What were the challenges you faced with this level of immersion?

Conscript: The challenge was that sometimes we couldn't discern what was real and what was simulated. The lines between the two became increasingly blurred, and it required a high degree of mental focus to navigate these training exercises effectively. There were moments when we had to remind ourselves that we were in a controlled environment, but the adrenaline and urgency felt very real.

Interviewer: Let's talk about the culmination of your training, the pass-out parade. What was that experience like for you?

Conscript: The pass-out parade was a culmination of everything we had endured and learned during our training as paramedics. It was a momentous occasion, marking the transition from trainees to full-fledged paramedics. I remember the anticipation and excitement as the day approached.

Interviewer: Can you describe the scene during the pass-out parade?

Conscript: The parade ground was a sea of red, as all the new paramedics, including myself, stood in formation in our sleek red armor suits. It was an impressive sight. The suits made us all look alike, and I remember thinking that even my own parents might have trouble recognizing me among the sea of red.

Interviewer: That must have been a surreal experience.

Conscript: It was. When my parents finally arrived and saw me in the red armor suit, they didn't recognize me at first. The suits, with their helmets and visors, gave us a uniform and somewhat anonymous appearance. It took a moment for them to realize that their child was among the paramedics on display.

Interviewer: How did you feel during that moment of recognition?

Conscript: It was a mix of emotions. There was pride in having completed the training and knowing that I was now a paramedic. But there was also a sense of detachment, as if I had become something different from the person my parents had known before. The red armor suit was a symbol of our transformation, and it set us apart from the civilian world.

Interviewer: That sounds like a unique opportunity to connect with your parents. Can you tell us more about that cafe encounter?

Conscript: It was indeed a unique setting. The cafe was set up for such occasions, and there were other paramedics and their families there as well. We were allowed to remove our helmets, which was a relief because it allowed for more natural conversation. I remember taking off my helmet to reveal my freshly shaved head, which was quite a conversation starter.

Interviewer: It must have been a bit surreal to be sitting in a cafe with your parents while still wearing most of your paramedic gear.

Conscript: Surreal is the right word for it. I was still in my red armor suit, which meant I was covered from head to toe, except for my shaved head. It was a unique experience to share coffee and conversation with my parents in that distinctive uniform. Hugging was a bit tricky, but we managed.

Interviewer: Was there much physical contact during the meeting?

Conscript: Well, hugging someone in a full armor suit is a bit of a challenge. The armor is designed to be protective, but it's not exactly conducive to warm embraces. So, while we could talk and share a meal, physical contact was limited. It was another reminder of the barriers that had been erected between us during my training.

Interviewer: What did you and your parents talk about during that meeting?

Conscript: We talked about my training, their lives, and what had changed during my time at the academy. My parents were proud of my dedication and commitment to becoming a paramedic, but there was also a sense of concern for the challenges that lay ahead. They had questions about the conditioning and the lifestyle I had chosen.

Interviewer: It sounds like it was an opportunity for them to understand your new path as a paramedic.

Conscript: Yes, it was a chance for us to bridge the gap between my civilian life and my life as a paramedic. They were supportive, but they also had their worries, as any parents would in that situation.

Interviewer: Did you feel a sense of normalcy during that meeting, despite the paramedic gear?

Conscript: To some extent, yes. It was a reminder that I still had connections to the civilian world, to my family and their love. But at the same time, the red armor suit and the shaved head were constant reminders of the transformation I had undergone. It was a unique blend of the familiar and the utterly changed.

[etrealouest]

((falling leaf, seedling, milky way!

🍃 FALLING LEAF - do they enjoy being in nature? what is their favourite outdoor activity?

Ophie loves being out in greener areas of the state! She grew up in a small swampy town (Dulac to be specific), and being around that sort of environment makes her feel nostalgic and peaceful.

She likes to stargaze. Sometimes she does some fishing, too. Also just straight up diving into lakes/swamps and just... laying there.

🌱 SEEDLING - what is their most vivid memory from childhood?

Nnnnnnot a good one. The most vivid memory would have to be her parents being turned into vessels for Nyarlathotep, an image which hasn't left her otherwise forgetful mind in the 17 years since it's occurred, leaving her with loads of mental scars and loads more of repressed anger! :)

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

Funny story, Ophie was originally going to be an oc for a lesser-known indie game series called Fear & Hunger. Both of the two games currently out have a whole lot of eldritch horror elements to them. I'm a big fan of that genre of horror when it's done right, and I do think it does it very well.

HOWEVER... I'm still somewhat hesitant to recommend the series to others due to some of its elements of SA, something that's especially prevalent in the first game. It was because of a combination of that, the series' still sorta vague worldbuilding making it difficult for me to make something somewhat canon-compliant that I could be happy with, and my recent investment in the Constantine DC comics that I eventually molded her into something more for DC with elements from Lovecraft and the expanded mythos.

The first thing I decided about her was that she was going to be a somewhat ditzy, but simultaneously genius detective that gets roped into eldritch phenomena. Now she's actively seeking it out lmao

[knickynoo]

3, 7, 13, 23, and 47 for the writing ask game!

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics? I suppose "found family" is one that appears quite often. I also write a lot of "slice of life" and feel that's pretty characteristic of my fics. And I guess this would be filed under the detail category, but I definitely write Marty with the ADHD headcanon in mind, so those little quirks are in everything I do with him.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of? I like the worldbuilding I was able to do with "Despite the Distance"--molding the alternate timeline that Doc finds himself in. It was fun being able to craft Marty and his life in an environment where Doc wasn't a part of it, and I'm enjoying being able to return to that timeline in my new fic. There's a lot of worldbuilding involving Needles and really fleshing out his character more (I've discovered I LOVE writing Needles lol), as well as taking a closer look into the Twin Pines McFly family.

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore? I don't think so?

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to? I've actually got a few answers for this one. I've always wanted to write an AU that takes place in 1985A and centers around the Marty who grew up there. I think the comics totally missed the mark in exploring that version of him, and there's so much potential for a story involving a Marty who grew up with Biff for a stepfather in that town full of horrors. Another one that's been rolling around in my head for a few years is a fic where Doc stays in 1885 after part III and something bizarre happens in the timeline where, since he's permanently "left" his proper place in time, it starts to basically erase any trace of him from the 1985 timeline. Almost as if a time traveler has to periodically check in to their original time to keep their existence there intact? I dunno. Anyway, everyone's memories of him fade EXCEPT for Marty's for reasons I haven't quite hammered out yet. Maybe he's protected because he was also a time traveler, and there's some sort of memory bubble? Who knows? (not me) The point is, all of a sudden he's talking about Doc and everyone is like ???? and it starts to mess with his head to the point that he begins to doubt Doc ever existed at all, and everyone thinks he's legitimately experiencing delusions. It is not a happy story.

Oh, OH! I would love to write my ridiculous Family Ties/Back to the Future crossover AU.

47. If [insert fic] was a pair of shoes, what kind would it be? Describe the shoes. When I first looked over the original ask list, I was like, "I hope no one asks me the shoe one. How would I even answer that?" and here we are, haha. I literally. I don't know, friend. I cannot figure out how to describe one of my fics as shoes. I tried my best. (aka: I thought about it very briefly for 3.5 seconds and then gave up)

Thanks for the ask!

Questions for fic writers

[watchworldlive]

Bowman Donald: The Legacy of a Trailblazer

Who is Bowman Donald? Many probably do not recognize the name, but they should! Bowman Donald is quite surely a trailblazer, one of those very few exceptional persons whose work remains effectively molding the industry long after he has gone. From humble beginnings to an extraordinary career, his story speaks to perseverance, innovation, and remarkable success. Buckle up folks, for we're going to get down to the exciting life of Bowman Donald by lightning up the man behind the name while fathoming into his impact on society.

Bowman Donald Early Days

Bowman Donald was a perfect example of coming from humble beginnings. It was a life that entailed being brought up in a small town with no highly resources and world-class education. Rather, what he had was grit, curiosity, and the strong determination to make something of himself.

The Spark of Curiosity

As a young boy, Bowman was always curious. Whether it was tinkering with broken gadgets or asking a million questions to the adults around him, he never stopped wondering how things worked. This curiosity was what firstly set him on his journey towards success.

Bowman speaks of his modest birthplace and talks of how his upbringing taught him the value of hard work and perseverance.

School wasn't always easy, but he made it through by focusing on subjects that fascinated him, such as math and science.

Early Influences: He was inspired by the pioneers in his line of work-innovators, who built great things from nothing.

Climbing the Ladder

Fast forward a few years, and Bowman Donald was climbing up the corporate ladder faster than most people's heads can do spins. Where others remained stuck in their respective rat races, Bowman Donald thought out of the box to get himself on the map. He broke through through contribution in the specific field of [insert specific field], where his inventions revolutionized how things were done.

His style: Bowman was the poster boy of using unorthodox methods to tackle mundane problems. His method made him an overnight sensation among his peers within a very short time.

Success does not come to Bowman without working hard for it. That is because it is a product of thousands of late nights, missed experiments, and sleepless hustle.

Bowman Donald: The Innovator

Bowman Donald had innovation as a driving passion, and not a buzzword. Whether it was coming up with new technologies or improving old ones, Bowman had an instinctive knack of spotting an opportunity where others looked and said, "obstacle."

His mind is ever racing with new ideas.

Just thinking about it makes one think about some of the projects that are sure to be breakneck at the time they are put to production. From [Project A] to [Project B], Bowman touched different sectors.

Project A: It was one of the earlier projects that Bowman did, and totally altered the game in the [specific industry], streamlining processes and cutting costs by numerous folds.

Project B: Another inspiring feat, this project brought innovations that people never believed to be true, and hence Bowman took the lead in the [specific field].

Never Standing Still

Even when he grew old and most successful, Bowman did not let go of what made him great. Most of his peers had already put down their things after experiencing a major discovery but not Bowman. He kept running for the next big thing, always looking for ways to outdo the one just recently done.

The Bowman Donald Leadership Style

If you ask any of his employees who worked under Bowman Donald, they will tell you that he was more than just a manager. He was a mentor. Leadership did not come easy for Bowman, not because he demanded it, but because he earned it. He aimed to pick people up and make the environment around him collaborative.

Leading with Empathy

Bowman was a fantastic leader in an unique way-he led with compassion. He knew that if excellent things were to be accomplished, people were to be valued, motivated, and directed to feel contribution. This is because his teams are always flowing with innovative ideas and are very productive.

Empower his team: Bowman used to empower his teams to do their thing and fail without judgment. His open-minded approach gave rise to some of the best work from this industry.

Mentorship: Bowman believed in the sharing of his knowledge with the next generation, mentoring several people who later became big names in the same field.

Bowman Donald was shaping the future in more ways than just his very own work; he would also mold others to make the same impact.

So, what is the Bowman Donald legacy? He left behind a body of work that continues to influence the field today, and innovations that paved the way for future breakthroughs. That is how to read the signature of Bowman's legacy through leadership which has inspired generations to come.

Bowman Impact on Today's Industry

Even after centuries, the contributions of Bowman were all around us. Either it was technology he helped to create or people he mentored, Bowman's light still shines.

Recent realizations of his work: Most things taken for granted today had their original roots in Bowman's proposals.

Ongoing mentorship: Those who Bowman had forwarded continues to carry the torch, thereby creating a new generation of leaders and innovators.

Conclusion

Bowman Donald is not a name in the industry; it is a visionary, mentor, and leader whose contributions will not fizzle away. His commitment to innovation and a unique approach to leadership influence professionals today. When in his line of work as a practitioner or only inspired by a tale of perseverance and ingenuity, Bowman Donald's life is the perfect example of the strength of curiosity and diligence.

[shaineinin]

A Tree is Known by its Seedling First

a memoir

Giving yourself a chance to grow in an environment where everything is unfamiliar and strange is a brave motion that shows encouragement, nurturance of oneself, and the acknowledgement that you are still a seedling, not yet a tree. You are continuously and openly growing!

I once looked up into people in the field of journalism that made me aspire to be one of them. A seedling in a land of nurtured humongous trees. There was one significant moment in my life that amazed me on how I molded my decision into something that greatly affects me as of today. It was one normal day at school, I was only a 5th grader elementary student. I was doing my business of lading my ass on a wooden chair in our classroom until it finally hurt like hell. Moreover, aside from the fact that I was a good for nothing student back then; doing nothing but playing ‘Pass the paper ball’, ‘Kangaroo’ the one which you’ll toss your slipper to your playmates, and of course the famous one, the softball with my hardcore classmates– sweating a river, dirty clothes like I grew up in the mud, and runny nose. Pretty much everything dirty, I completed it and nailed it as a kid. 

But, that same school year was my awakening. Awakening of something great that really pushed me to surpass my limits and invest in a seedling to grow into a stout tree.

It was an unexpected turn of events when my adviser announced that I am one of the honor students in our class. Not just an honor student, but I placed third with an average of 94%. Would you believe that? Because back then I didn’t. Yet, it was true. In fact, as a perk of being at the honor roll, I was given a chance to join extracurricular activities that I had never joined before. Being a journalist is one. One that I would never dreamt of before but then my favorite adventure to tell now. 

When my adviser asked if I could participate in journalistic writing, I was hesitant as if I was being questioned in joining the biggest pageant of all time. I knew I would decline at the very beginning, because unfortunately I didn’t have any talent for that. I didn’t know how to write an article. An article that would've changed the lives of others if it is too powerful. I knew I wasn't gifted with that. But you know what I thought before declining that offer? “Who said I can’t sharpen my writing? Who said I can’t do it? Who said I can’t touch lives?” and all I shouted to myself was the word “ME”. No one told me that I couldn't do it, no one discouraged me to open a new path. No one stopped from having growth. But ME. 

So I thought of the brightest idea that I could think back then. Brightest because from it, I was led to a direction where I learned things I would never forget at my age. 

I invested in the seedling for me, for me to grow. I was trained by a High School teacher named Ms. Princess Lasquite. She was never an easy one, but she is a silent tiger waiting for her prey to approach her. I was that prey. I approached her with the thought that she would help me get through my feet. And that tiger never disappointed me. I was trained like there’s no tomorrow. Got blabbered out because of small mistakes. From mechanics to my grammatical errors, she didn’t skip all those but she kept a keen eye on everything like a hawk waiting for a worm to appear at the land.

Nonetheless, of all of those hardships that she put in my back as an elementary student, I pushed through. I dedicated my first ever contest article to the days where she would mock how I suck at writing and how I keep on forgetting little things. Because of all of those, I harvested the ripped and sweet fruits of my victory. I placed 6th as a Science Feature Writer, with my article about ‘Euphorbia Hirta’ or famous to the name Tawa-tawa. A medical herb known as the nemesis of dengue caused by mosquito bites. 

Through that article, I saved my ass to Ms. Princess’s fangs of madness. But then again, I couldn’t miss the chance to say that she was one of those humongous trees that I was with the whole time of my journey. She was the one who sharpened me as a sword who could  use her pen, words, and knowledge to touch lives and reveal the truths. 

It was such a magical start off with my journey as a student journalist, clinching a win in my first year but that didn’t stop Ms. Princess to train me again and again until I had mastered my category. From the moment I have let my seedling self grow upon the sides of enormous trees in my surroundings— I completely understood the meaning of giving oneself the chance to make changes and alter the future. The future I didn’t believe I could create. I became the seedling that an enormous tree will be proud of. 

[thequeergothic]

Let Me Light My Cigarette First.

I was hated when I left my mother's womb. Hell, I was hated before I was a fetus. When my mother told my aunt that she was pregnant she responded by saying 'You little shit'. I always wondered by why I was so hated. I can say that I'm not being a narcissistic, I truly believe I'm not, but you wouldn't believe that. Still, I wonder. I have my theories. The aunt that called my mother a little shit lost a child months before my mother was pregnant. I remember asking my mother about my cousin. There was a beautiful photo frame with a picture of a toddler with curly blond hair wearing a cowboy. He was beaming at the camera. A moment of time captured in happiness. She told me that it was my little brother a few times. I thought it was my brother because the boy in the photo looked so much like him. Finally, when I was still in my single digits, my mother told 'That is your cousin, he passed away before you were born.' That was it for the longest time. Death was a taboo subject in my house for the longest time. It's ironic. When you grow up the way I did, you would think death would be an open subject. It wasn't. It never was. I could tell you my life story. About where I started, where I end up, or where I will be. At the least, I can provide context. If you have lasted this long you may want something better than the death of a cousin I never knew. It's how so many stories start: I grew up in a small town. When I look back on it, it seems so dark. If southern Gothic was vogue, my town would be the front cover. It was like looking into a dark room. It barely has some light peaking through the shades. You can make out shapes of furniture, and it looks like everything is in place. Then you pull the shades. You see every crack in the wall, the black mold on the ceiling, the corners gathering filth. That's how my town was. A friend of mine told me a story a long time ago about how a police officer threatened someone with murder. The supposed potential murder victim was abusing his wife if I remember correctly. The police officer paid a visit. He told the individual 'we know places where your body will never be found'. As dramatic as this sounds, he wasn't fucking wrong. I feel the need to give supporting examples to my thought process. I had a cousin accidentally murdered in a heated argument. His body was dumped in the river. What was left of him was found months later. A friend of mine lost his grandmother. She was murdered by proxy. I can't remember if she died before or after the train ran her over. A sheriff tried to cover up a met lab after it exploded. Someone's daughter ended up in pieces, and was dumped in a big cooler. I understand that these details are gruesome. There is something that needs to be understand however. You can't say I didn't warn you. My story is fucked up. My environment was fucked up. I don't think I had an unique childhood, but it was far from typical. There were glimpses of happiness. Maybe you will see a couple of them. That town could have been the inspiration for a slasher franchise. It ate people alive.

I feel uncomfortable when people make eye contact. Not in the traditional sense because I can lock eyes with someone for a long time. Paintings, TV, movies, pictures, you name it. I can't do it. I hate it. I used to turn pictures around if I undressed in my own room. Pictures feel so intimate to me. It was a moment in time. The moment that will never be the same, just like every other moment. Yet, it's a moment that will happen every second of the day. Pictures hold a duality in my mind. It's too much for me to handle, and if it's overwhelming queue my existential crisis. My grandmother had VHS tapes stacked like a tower beside a TV awkwardly situated in her dining room. She would direct my brother and I in the TV's direction when we would visit. She didn't want to be interrupted during her soap operas. My grandmother was cheap. The VHS tapes were rip-offs of the good stuff. Cartoons that were made quickly to chase the coat tails of a major studio production. My grandmother bought this media at discount stores. There was a series about bible stories. 4-5 tapes that detailed a children's version of Moses and David. The one I want to direct your attention to was the creation story VHS. The snake animated in this show was red and white, and more ghoul than snake. It would stare directly at you when it spoke. I have no idea if this was meant to be scary. I do know that I couldn't handle it. I blame my mother's psychological warfare. Her love language. How I didn't develop a eating disorder I will never know. It was beat into me to look someone in the eye though. Looking back on it, I find it perplexing that my father would command me to look at someone in the eyes when they were speaking to you. Considering what I was assigned at birth, I'm sure you will figure out what that was, and the expectations placed onto my little shoulders. Maybe souls are trapped in pictures. That makes more sense to me than a very specific traumatic memory that I have. Now that I think about it, locking eyes with someone has caused more trouble than it was worth. What a simple yet destructive concept. I'm sure there is a science behind it, and many papers have been written about it. Eye contact has made me look more confident than I really am. I was a lamb ready for the slaughter in reality. Premarital moments in my life have been prolonged by eye contact. Moments that just end up so horrendous. I feel the need to give another example. Maybe something more expansive that the few sentences of gory details previously mentioned.

I was a little idiot like most children. I had a dangerous method to my own madness. Self awareness in a child is a scary situation. We really should stop underestimating children but I digress. My first time using eye contact was in my single digit years. As I previously stated, I was a fucking little idiot. I made eye contact with a girl my age for too long. Silence crashed between us. We froze. I spoke up first. My excuse for kissing her was for pretend. I was the knight, she was the princess. My mother saw. She immediately took me inside. I knew it was frowned upon, but I didn't think anyone was looking, and I wanted to know what a kiss was like. Children don't learn how important personal boundaries are. I can still feel her hand around my arm. It was a tight grip. That's how I was able to gauge how much trouble I was in. If she shook me, that meant I was about to die. 'You can't do that. Why did you do that?!'

She kept shaking me.

'We-we were just pl-aying pretend.'

I'm an idiot for not understanding that I was attracted to girls. I feel that this isn't the best example, but we had to start off small before we get to the highlights of what my life was. As I listen to my music, I'm realizing how old I am. Most of the music I listened to growing up as turned 20 this year. It brings back so many memories. I typically leave this music locked behind the dusty bolted door in the back of my head. Memories and emotions are linked to these songs. As I listen there are so damn good lines that I have forgotten.

'You are second-hand smoke'

What an apt description of myself, or the people that have left a scar. Depends on the story.

I'm getting off topic.

As I grew older, I understood more and more that my eye contact could help persuade people that I was brave, confident, secure. I was quite the opposite, but they didn't fucking know that. One boyfriend was someone I locked eyes with for way too long. I did it on purpose. I felt powerful. I felt that if I put my energy into it, I could bend fate. There was a show at a community center near where I lived. I would have to beg my mother to take me. She would bitch about the price of gas, and how much of a brat I was the entire time. In this little town, one of the poorest in the state, had an interesting music scene. It was a weird time for music. The internet wasn't as popular as word of mouth at the time. There was a new wave of music that was more emotional and messier than previous trends. Teenagers connected with it intensely. Fuck, I wish I was in my 20s during this time. I always felt I was born a decade too late. It was music full of screaming and screeching sounds. It was a slap in the face compared to my parents music. I kind of miss the days of discovering countercultures. In a physical space I mean. Countercultures are discovered through social media platforms these days. If someone asked me what it was like growing up, I'm not sure how I would describe it. So much was happening, but not for me. Stuck in a rural area with only the slow bandwidth of the family computer was not ideal. Especially, when your bedroom door was removed because you were caught with Good Charlotte CD. I remember my first show. I was 14, and after that night, I knew I found my people. I was met with an energy I wasn't allowed to be a part of at home. I felt as close to myself as I could be. After a couple of shows, I felt like I was hot shit. I locked eyes with a guy who had jet black hair that flew into his eyes. He had perfect lips. I thought I was mystique. Like I was the main character of my own film moire. I would tease just enough for him to chase me. One of my first make out sessions. Oh, what simple times. Please, take some time to process what you have read so far. Make your judgments. I live in a world with hardly any criticism so pointed thoughts about my life are welcome. I'll sip my tea in the meantime. I'll ponder what I'm even telling this story in the mean time. Since I'm the only one that can share their thoughts on this page, I'll ponder out loud. I wonder if this is a vanity project. I wonder if it's a way to scream back. Or it's just a journal about the horrors of my life; some self-afflicted, some aren't. I feel the need to do this like someone trying to find their high school ex on social media. Never underestimate someone's will to find an ex 15 years removed. In the words of Chiodos, 'if your stomach feels weak, then my work here is done.'