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#something something “I hate the way I don’t hate you not even a little bit not even at all” + deceit
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Impromptu dates | LN4
pairing: lando norris x sick!bookworm!reader
summary: a bookworm & f1 driver + stomach bug = the best lazy date ever.
warnings: none!
fc: none!
wc: 859
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Most people hated being sick.
It’s understandable that people hated being sick. They don’t feel. They feel gross. They feel off. The list goes on and on on why people hated being sick. Especially people who are more independent and hate the idea of someone else taking care of them. Which you understood as it hit a bit too close to home.
Which is why as someone fiercely independent as you are, people never understood why you enjoy being sick. 
You could never find the words to explain it when people ask you on the spot. You try and try yet you’re never happy with your answer and people never quite believed you which was fair but you didn’t care. You enjoyed it when you were sick. 
Not violently ill, which you emphasize. You did not enjoy running a super high fever, or running to the bathroom, or having your head constantly over a toilet vomiting up basically nothing. That was not fun. You enjoy the kind of sickness where you can’t go out into the world for a day or two. Maybe a low grade fever that’ll pass or a quick stomach bug that’s out of your system fast but you still take the precaution and stay indoors. 
Why?
Well that’s because it means you can stay under the covers after a shower with your kindle in its little tablet holder. Page turner remote in hand while having your water and drink of choice (mostly iced coffee), and some white noise as background noise. It was truly perfection for you.
Yet it was Lando’s hell.
Lando, your boyfriend, hated when you were sick. It meant no cuddles. No hugs. No kisses. Any physical contact was on halt and it was already torture given his schedule so the rare time he did get to see you in person and you were sick? He was miserable. Sure, you two video called but it just made him more sad that he wasn’t there to take care of you even if you swore that you didn’t need someone to take care of you. He refused to believe it so he would send you meals and medicine. He refused to let you pay him back so you’ve learned to accept it without the guilt weighing on your shoulders. It was a nice agreement you two had silently made and nothing really could beat this.
Until now.
There was a month break in between Singapore and Austin and Lando was going to soak up every second he could get and it was fine till somehow you caught a stomach bug. Lando refused to leave which also meant he caught the stomach bug.
You’re happily half laying/half sitting next to Lando against some pillows under a weighted heated blanket. You have one of his sweatshirts on while sipping your iced coffee and looking at your kindle while Lando tosses and turns next to you. You tried offering him medicine or some crackers and soup but he’s turned all the options down but now it seems he’s settled down. You look over and are greeted with the same green-blue eyes you’ve grown to pick out of the crowd in a moment. You see the curls sticking to his forehead and gently you push some out of the way and smile. “Hey.”
“How are you drinking iced coffee right now?” The Brit asks.
You shrug before smiling, “I don’t know. Guess I feel better after cleaning my stomach out and taking some medicine unlike someone.” Poking his forehead, you giggle while he huffs slightly and moves his head away. You hear Lando grumble something about the medicine tasting bad and you roll your eyes. “You’re such a big baby.”
Lando pouts slightly grumbling he is not a big baby before you return to your book. You look back hearing a huff and raise a brow. “Yes?”
“How do you just lay here and read and do nothing? I’m so bored yet too tired to get up.”
You shrug, “I just get really engrossed in my books sometimes I forget to even eat or pee.”
“You what!?” Lando sits up a bit in surprise before laying down and whining at his upset stomach.
“Oh come here.” You start.
You shift and sit up a bit more and reach over and rearrange your nightstand. You move your drinks further back along with your tablet holder before grabbing your TV remote and turning the TV on. You watch Lando lay there for a moment before shifting closer. He tosses and turns before slowly he settles on his stomach letting a soft sigh of relief out. Wrapping his arms around your waist, the Brit nuzzles his face into your stomach before settling down and looking at the TV. Lando flips through some apps and television options before settling on ‘The Hangover’.
Settling back down against the pillows you run your fingers gently through his hair while you go back to your book, the movie becoming background noise for you. This is how you two spend the evening and it’s the best impromptu date and now becomes your go to date.
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nonushu · 2 days
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jealousy's a disease - choe hansol
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genre: fluff, bestfriends to ???...🥺😊 | wc: 840 | non-idol!vernon x reader a/n: ok fineeeeee i'll stop writing for vernon now haha...
you hate him for this. you hate the way he sits there so beautifully, so blissfully, making you gawk at him—does he even know? does he know how his skin glows in the sun, or how gracefully his lashes flutter? does he even know how-
"what?"
vernon's voice cuts you out of your trance, his body facing you on the other side of the couch. his headphones rest around his neck as he stares at you in concern.
you raise your eyebrows, confused. "what?"
"i dunno, you were just... looking at me weird," he says, narrowing his eyes.
"was i?" you say softly, putting your book down, "well, sorry, didn't mean to weird you out."
he blinks, those eyelashes fluttering, again. "nah, it's cool,"
you nod, feeling something subtle building as you pretend to read, flipping to a random page. but vernon catches the shift in your expression.
"you okay, though?"
you perk up at him, meeting his suspicious gaze. "why would i not be okay?"
"'cause you're being kinda weird," he tuts, removing headphones to place them on the table. "did i do something?"
you sigh, mirroring his movements, placing your book down next to his headphones. "i don't know, vernon. did you?"
"well, no..." he mumbles, clearly muddled, "did you do something?"
"what? no," you scoff, feeling a little flustered. "no one did anything."
a pause falls over the room as the two of you stare at each other, the tension almost palpable. vernon shifts awkwardly before speaking again. “do you… not want me to stay anymore? i can leave if-”
“no!” you blurt out, your body instinctively inching closer to him on the couch. “why would you think that?”
“i don’t know!” he says, raising his hands defensively. “i just thought you were staring at me because you were getting sick of me or something.”
your heart skips a beat at his words, the sudden rush of panic rising. because the last thing you want is for him to leave.
"i wasn't," you quickly say.
he tilts his head. "okay... then what's wrong? you're acting..."
you open your mouth to respond but nothing comes out. how do you even explain it? how do you tell him how he makes you spiral from just being... him?
you cautiously reach your hand to face, finger lingering over his eye. you can see how his brown orbs widen at your sudden closeness as you softly touch his lashes. "has anyone ever told you that you have lashes to die for?"
vernon's breath hitches, his eyes fluttering. his lips part at the comfort of your touch. "uh," he mumbles, blinking rapidly when you pull your hand away. a faint blush creeps his neck, and he lets out a nervous chuckle. "n-no? that was kinda random."
you smile even though your heart races. "well, consider yourself blessed by the gods. i'm a little jealous..."
"of my eyelashes?" he asks, deadpanned.
"yeah..." you say quietly, "i don't know what you did in your past life to be so treasured."
he scoffs, “yeah, okay," he says, shaking his head with a playful smile. "i’m not sure i’ve ever been called ‘treasured’ before.”
you lean back against the couch, trying to steady your breath, and vernon watches you with a growing curiosity.
“is that what’s been bothering you?” he teases, his smile widening. “my lashes are just too nice?”
you glance at him, a bit annoyed by how easily he brushes it off. “maybe,” you murmur, though you both know it’s more than that.
"or," vernon’s smile falters, and his eyes narrow slightly like he’s starting to piece things together. "you're just jealous of my charms.”
you blink, caught off guard by his bluntness. “what? no, I didn’t say-”
“y'know, y/n, jealousy’s a disease,” he interrupts, grinning again, though there’s something softer in his gaze now, like he’s not entirely joking anymore. “do you need me to take you to the hospital? or should I call someone?”
you roll your eyes, feeling flustered. “don’t be stupid. i’m not actually jealous.”
but vernon doesn’t let it go, leaning closer, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “oh, but you kinda are, though. and I don’t think it’s just about my lashes.”
you can feel your face heating up under his stare, and your pulse quickens. “i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you mutter, crossing your arms.
he’s closer now, his tone gentler. “i think you do.”
your heart pounds in your chest, the playful banter suddenly taking a turn you didn’t expect. you meet his gaze, and the teasing light in his eyes fades, replaced by something else.
and in that moment, you realize: you’re not just jealous of his lashes, his effortless charm, or how everyone seems to adore him. scratch that, you're not even jealous! (maybe just a smidge).
maybe its the fact that he might not feel the same way you do.
but as vernon’s hand brushes against yours, his fingers lingering just a little longer than necessary, you wonder if maybe—just maybe—he does.
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strwberri-milk · 1 day
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i hate you
Rafayel x Reader || Fluff, Rafayel's a Bully || 1, 140 words
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The burst of giggles dies in your throat as the bed finally settles, no longer bouncing as Rafayel lays himself next to you. You barely get the chance to look at him before he’s aggressively pulling at you, putting you against his chest and sighing happily as your face instinctively goes to settle at the crook of his neck. Your arms wrap around him, holding him tightly as he pulls the blanket over the two of you, seabreeze outside a little chilly but smelling too sweet for either of you to contemplate closing the window. 
Playfully, you nip at his throat, the yelp he gives you in conjunction with the slight smack against your back always worth it because you know his face is bright red from the attention you’re giving him. He pulls back slightly, the warmth of your breath and his skin hanging in the air before he leans down to kiss you. His lips push and pull against yours slowly, thumb stroking against your bottom lip. 
“What do you think you’re doing down there, huh?” he asks, voice distinctively raspy as he presses a kiss to the apple of your cheek. 
“You’re not supposed to try and eat me. I’m cooking dinner for you later.”
“I just wanted a taste. You’re making seafood tonight, aren’t you?” you laugh, burying your face back into his neck to nip lightly at him again. 
You feel his fingers press into your back again, nails lightly digging into you. Despite his words, everything about him was keening for you to touch him more, begging for your attention with every fiber of his being. 
“Don’t - don’t do that,” he says with a whine. 
He allows you to indulge for just a little bit longer before finally overpowering you. He pins your hands over your head, burying his face into your neck and collar as he gives you a taste of your medicine. His lips skirt over your skin, biting you hard enough to leave some marks as a gift.
“I love you,” he says sweetly, pressing a kiss behind your ear. 
You feel your face heat up, able to take your hands back from him as you cover your face, shaking your head slightly as you whine. 
“What? Did I say something weird?” 
“Don’t say stuff like that,” you mumble, looking away from him. 
He looks at you with a bit of concern in his eyes, raising a brow.
“What’s the matter? Did I…did I do something?”
You can hear the soft tone in his voice, clearly a little panicked that he somehow hurt you. Even the way he rests above your body is gentler, making you feel bad for making him doubt even an ounce of your affection for him. 
“No! Nothing like that I just…”
You fall silent, trying to figure out what you want to say to him. Unfortunately for you he takes that as an opportunity, beginning to pepper you in kisses again.
“I love you so much though. You’re the love of my life, the only reason I get up in the morning. Don’t hide yourself from me,” he pouts, nuzzling his nose against your cheek. 
When you meet his eyes again he smiles at you, arms wrapping around  you as he presses another kiss to your lips. 
“There you are. Look at you - what a perfect little thing.”
Your heart bursts with affection for the man on top of you, overwhelmed just the slightest bit. 
“Don’t do that - I like it better when you’re mean to me!” 
The words leave you so abruptly he thinks he misheard you. However, when you turn your face away from him for the nth time he slowly starts to put together the pieces of the puzzle, a smirk gracing his features. 
“Is that so?”
“Don’t take it the wrong way! I just - you’re so - god, you’re infuriating,” you finally decide, leaning wholly into the idea of him bullying you despite knowing that it’s incredibly far from the truth. 
“I’d rather you tell me how much you hate me than butter me up with sweet words.”
“You don’t mean that. No, no I know you don’t. You want me to tell you that I’ve fallen in love with you time and time again just from the way you look at me. That if I died tomorrow I’d be content with just the memory of you, that every moment you choose to be with me I find myself holding back the urge to sink to my knees and pray that you never leave my side.”
“Rafayel!” you scold, pulling the blankets over your face to try and escape his sweet words.
“No, maybe you’re onto something actually,” he says suddenly, pulling back the blanket. 
“Maybe I do hate you.”
The words hang in the air. You know he doesn’t mean it - he’s probably just being dramatic. You look up at him through your lashes, trying to ascertain the expression on his face. He looks as though he’s pondering something, trailing a finger down your jawline.
“Mmm, yeah, I think I do,” he muses to himself before pressing his thumb against your bottom lip as your breath hitches. 
“I hate the way you fit perfectly into my arms whenever I hold you. I hate the way you call out my name, the way my heart forgets how to beat whenever you come near. It’s tiring you know - to love you as much as I do.” 
He speaks so reverentially you think you’ll break. 
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, a slight whine sitting in your throat as you processed his words. The dam bursts and you feel tears beginning to slide down your cheeks. Rafayel coos at you sweetly, wiping away your tears with his thumb as he hums, peppering your face in kisses. Before you realise it you’re crying out loud, breath catching as you hiccup slightly from the mess of emotions he stirs up in your chest, beating your fists against him weakly. 
“I’m such a mean boyfriend, aren’t I? I make the love of my life cry in my arms and I have no idea what to say to make it all better,” he says lowly, laying down next to you and pulling you into his arms. 
“All you do is bully me!” you say mournfully, tears a result of your love for him as you bury your face into his chest. 
“I know, I know, I’m so cruel aren’t I?”
You nod childishly, letting him take care of you. His hands gently run over your body, kissing away the salt of your tears as he continues to speak to you quietly. 
“I’m sorry sweetheart but you’re going to have to get used to it. 
“I’m going to hate you for the rest of my life.”
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heyaheiya · 1 day
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Will you write something about single dad bakugo falling in love with his child’s daycare teacher and her or them feeling the same 🥺🥺 -🦕
Sorry this took so long 😭😭
— — — — — —
Katsuki didn’t plan on ever getting into a relationship again; just him and his darling daughter was enough for him. That was until your stupid face somehow wormed its way into his mind.
His girl, Bakugou Chiyo, had been going to daycare for a few months now, but he’d never met you officially.
As much as Mitsuki loved having the little one over most weekdays, she didn’t have all the time in the world to spend babysitting. Eijirou encouraged Katsuki to enroll Chiyo and had recommended the daycare he used for his kids. Despite Katsuki’s hesitation towards it, Eijirou wouldn’t stop pestering the man to give it a chance. Something about ‘socialisation’ or whatever. Still, Katsuki put up a good fight.
“Fuck no, you know how disgusting other people’s kids are?? I don’t want Chiyo catching rabies from those things.”
“It’s expensive, I’m not exactly rich right now you know!”
“How do I know those teachers are qualified?”
“I’m sure Chiyo’s gonna hate it so what’s the bother.”
Unfortunately, Chiyo loved it, waking up early and being pretty self sufficient for a 4 and a half year old. She even packed her bag herself before bed so it was ready the next morning. Yes it was filled with just stuffed animals, and what.
“Baby, do you seriously need all of your friends? Why not pick one?”
“But they’ll be lonely :(“
Katsuki had to write out a whole schedule of which plush goes to daycare on which day. This rotation made sure the toys all got an equal amount of days.
Chiyo had been getting chattier in the recent days. Perhaps shitty hair was right about the socialisation bit… However, at dinner that night, a new name kept coming up.
“-and I was really sad. But then, Smiley came over and made it better!”
“Who’s ’Smiley’, princess?”
“Silly daddy, you see her every day at pickup!”
That was helpful. One out of the army of children he has no time to notice.
“Tell me about Smiley. She nice to you?”
“Mhm! Today she secretly gave me a chocolate from the teacher desk :D”
Alarms went off in Katsuki’s head. Chiyo’s friends with a thief. Chiyo’s gonna turn into a criminal. Chiyo’s gonna get arrested in the future. Chiyo needs to stop being friends with this ‘Smiley’ kid!!
“What??”
“Yeah. She told me not to tell anyone or she’ll get in trouble… But you won’t tell, right daddy l?”
The next day and drop off, Katsuki stomped in, all geared up in his hero suit, with a massive scowl decorating his face. Usually Mitsuki and Masaru drop the sweetheart off in the mornings, and by the end of a long work day, Katsuki doesn’t have time to chat. So other parents and teachers had basically never had a proper conversation with the man. That sure was gonna change.
“Who is this ‘Smiley’ kid??”
The receptionist looked befuddled.
“Oh no.. what did she do?”
“Nunya goddamn business. Point me to ‘er”
A shaken older hand pointed towards a young and surprisingly pretty face across the room. Must be the kids mother.
Katsuki stomped his way over to the woman. Either she shrunk back in fear of the pro hero, or his anger made him grow a few inches.
“Oi! Who do you think you are? Letting your kids behave like that? I swear, don’t give me some shi- stupid excuse!”
“I’m so sorry! Has someone been picking on Chi-Chi?”
“Chi-Chi? Seriously nicknaming a kid that doesn’t belong to you? That’s so fuc- freaking creepy.”
Chiyo yanked at her father’s pant leg a bit.
“Don’t yell at Smiley like that >:(“
Huh. Smiley.. is the teacher. Oh. A normal person would instantly apologise, but Katsuki? Pro hero Dynamight?
“What kind of relationship do you have with my daughter??”
He made you look like a child predator in front of your entire classroom, their parents, and your boss +coworkers..To say he felt bad was an understatement, the look of your terrified and embarrassed face scarring his mind for days.
Then, Chiyo came home balling her eyes out.
“Miss Smiley wasn’t there! She left me!”
Fuck. He knew what he had to do.
+81 XXX XXX XXX: Meet me at the restaurant down the street in 10.
Y/N: What the freak
When he saw you walk in, his jaw dropped. Unfortunately, you were beautiful, like the girls on the covers of magazines. However, your cute and almost squishable face quickly turned to a glare, eyes shooting lasers through his face.
It’s silent for a long time.
“This is the part where you apologise for getting me fired.”
“Right, I’m really sorry.”
“Look, I love Chiyo so so much. She’s a good kid and I’m sure you can tell she’s grown an attachment to me. If it’s because you or her mother feels jealous-“
“I’m single, the mother is out of the picture.”
“Oh so you just felt like being a dick?”
“Mind your language, Sensei. Wouldn’t want any kids to develop a fowl tongue.”
“I’m the reason Chiyo doesn’t have some of your key vocabulary. Watch it, Dynamight.”
“Oh I’m so scared😒”
You instantly stood up and grabbed your purse. “If you’re just here to rub salt in the wound, I think we’re done.” Fuck. Katsuki yanked you back down into your seat, eyes begging.
“No, fuck- I can’t stop fucking this up. Sorry. I’m sorry.”
“Wanna add another f-bomb to that statement?”
“Fuck off.”
“There we go.”
Katsuki groaned to himself, wanting to kill himself right there and then.
“I came here to apologise and fix things, but I’m stupid and can’t fucking communicate!”
“There are other swear words y’know?”
“Take me seriously.”
Your face softened slightly. You seriously thought he might cry in the middle of some random ramen restaurant.
“How do I fix this??”
“Well..”
You didn’t ask for too much really. Shopping spree (clothes, jewellery, cosmetics, skincare, shoes, hair pins, the works), official apology to everyone who was in the room at the time, get job back, and a bunch of tiramisu.
After all that, you were nothing but smiles. Then it clicked. Always smiling. Miss Smiley. Damn, that was a lazy nickname.
“Chiyo was the one who came up with ‘Miss Smiley’.”
It’s the best goddamn nickname anyone has ever made.
“Is there anything else you wanna add to that long ass list of yers???”
“Perchance..”
“Well??”
“A second date?”
— — — — — — — — — — —
This is not my best, I’m sorry 😭😭 hope you enjoyed! And requests are still open. Please, I need inspiration 🙏🙏
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2amriize · 12 hours
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˚⟡˖ RIIZE when you tell them you wanna break up
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ᡣ𐭩 masterlist genre angst, fluff pairing bf!riize x reader
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ᯓ★ SHOTARO
You had never seen Shotaro so serious in your life. For a few days, you'd been feeling like Shotaro wasn’t giving you the attention you needed, as he had become too obsessed with a song he had to choreograph. Even though you knew it might be temporary, you had been having a rough week, and despite knowing that, you hadn’t received his support.
Shotaro immediately regretted the way he had acted. When he heard you asking to break up, he grabbed your hands, shaking his head several times.
“Y/n, I’m really sorry… I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you these past few days, but please, let me make it up to you. Please, don’t leave me…”
ᯓ★ EUNSEOK
“Are you serious?”
Eunseok couldn’t believe you were asking to break up. He couldn’t understand why; what had happened? Had he done something wrong? Just a few days ago, everything seemed perfect, so why were you asking to end it now?
You didn’t really have an answer for him either. It wasn’t something he had done, but more that you were feeling bad about yourself and didn’t want that to affect him. You were surprised to see tears falling down his cheeks. Eunseok, who was always joking around, had started to cry.
“You don’t have to leave me because of this, y/n. I can help you… You don’t know how much I love you. You can’t leave me like this…”
ᯓ★ SUNGCHAN
He couldn’t stop his eyes from filling with tears, but he still tried not to cry. What mattered most to him in that moment was you, and the first thing he wanted was to understand why you were acting this way. Why were you asking to break up when he thought everything was going well between the two of you?
It’s true that you had small fights from time to time, but you always managed to find a solution. Even though it hurt, you felt like you needed some time alone, but seeing Sungchan kneel before you, begging you not to leave him, made you feel terrible.
“Is it really necessary? I don’t want to let you go, y/n…”
ᯓ★ WONBIN
“Did I do something wrong? I know I mess up sometimes, y/n, but I can fix it…”
Wonbin was looking at you with his big eyes, that puppy-like gaze that always made you weak, so you decided to look away from him. You knew Wonbin would think that if you broke up, it was because of something he did, when in reality, it wasn’t about him—it was about you.
You hated how people compared you to other girls and how, even if they didn’t say it to your face, everyone seemed to think you weren’t good enough for Wonbin. You couldn’t help but feel bad, knowing that’s how people viewed you as Wonbin’s girlfriend.
“Babe, you know you don’t really want to break up, so why are you doing this to me? I want to be with you, and only you.”
ᯓ★ SEUNGHAN
At first, he would think you were joking, so he’d laugh a little. But when he saw how serious you were, his smile would vanish completely. He’d sit down next to you, looking directly into your eyes, trying to get you to look back at him.
He couldn’t believe you were asking to break up, especially after just a few weeks ago, you had bought matching rings and cried together about how much you loved each other. So, what had changed?
When you explained that you would likely have to move to another city a few hours away for work, Seunghan let out a sigh, feeling a bit relieved.
“That’s why…? You know I’d be with you even if you lived on another planet, y/n. Please, don’t leave me because of this…”
ᯓ★ SOHEE
“Is that what you really want? For us to break up?”
Sohee was confused. Your relationship was going well, and even though you’d only been together for a few weeks, he felt really comfortable with you. So why did you suddenly want to end things? Had you changed your mind?
What Sohee couldn’t understand was why you were the one crying when you were the one asking to break up.
He obviously didn’t want to end things with you, but he couldn’t force you to stay in a relationship you didn’t feel comfortable in. So, gently stroking your back, he said;
“Y/n, you know I want to keep this going, right? I can’t stop you from leaving me, but I just want you to know… I really love you.”
ᯓ★ ANTON
“No… I… Why?”
Anton’s voice trembled, and it didn’t take long before tears began streaming down his cheeks. You hated seeing him like this—it hurt you too much. But it hurt even more to know that your family didn’t have a good opinion of him.
For some reason, your parents thought Anton was a bad influence on you, simply because you had been spending less time studying and more time with him. At first, you decided to ignore it, thinking other people’s opinions shouldn’t affect your relationship, but eventually, it got to you. Anton knew how this was making you feel, but he couldn’t bear the thought of letting you go, so he practically begged you not to leave him.
“Please, y/n, don’t do this… I want to stay by your side.”
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ᡣ𐭩 masterlist taglist: @regularsuh @gacktsa @totheseok @kkumistars @taroddori
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gatorbites-imagines · 13 hours
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Perhaps Hal Jordan or Clark kent with cuddling. Like just them coming home after a stressed day and you just take care of them the best you can. U offer sex but they don’t want it. Just wanting to be in ur presence for a bit yk yk
Clark Kent x Male reader
Headcanons
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Hey nerds, guess who’s not dead. I feel like I am, but apparently, I’m not. Classes are kicking my ass because of very cramped timelines and long days. Who’d have thought becoming a caretaker (idk the English word) would be so difficult. A shorty, but still something I enjoyed writing.
It wasn’t a common occurrence. For Clark to come home so worn out and tired. As a man powered by the sun, a man of steel as he so regularly gets called, its very difficult to him feeling so worn down.
For the most part, the days he comes home in this mood, is not because he’s exhausted physically, but rather mentally. Be it from difficult missions, or just long days at work where he’s talked down too or pushed aside.
There is something soft and cute about him like this, though you would never tell him that. he’s always a little whinier and poutier, but also cuddlier, if that’s even possible for a guy who seems to live off affectionate contact with you.
The first thing Clark does when he comes home from days like this, is kick off whatever he’s wearing and change into something else. Most days its some ancient washed-out sweatshirts from his university days. The kind that’s been washed so many times the logo is mostly gone, and the fabric is worn thin and soft.
Its either that, or if you’re bigger than him, then it’s one of your shirts. That or just a pair of boxers and socks, so he can crawl into your space and flop down there like a big lazy cat.
If possible, Clark tries to crawl up into your shirt, laying his head on your stomach or your chest, ear pressed against your skin to listen to your heart, even if he can easily do that anywhere on the planet. Being so close just puts him at ease.
You cant hear it, but you know he’s purring, even if it’s a frequency you can’t pick up. At this point you can only really rub his back and let him soak up the affection and touch he needs like a wilted flower in the sun.
When he starts pressing featherlight kisses against your torso, you start to think maybe Clark wants something more, since he starts kneading at your sides, like you’re made from playdough, and he wants to mold you into something else.
His hands are so big and strong that you almost feel like playdough, with how insistent his rubbing and kneading can get. His kisses never go beyond soft pecks and barely there brushes of his lips, Clarks head just moving from side under your shirt as he lays on top of your legs.
You don’t need words in a situation like this, your hands becoming more exploratory, rubbing between his shoulders and tapping your fingers at his spine, like he’s a harp you’re plucking the strings off.
The change in your scent must catch his attention too, as Clark lifts his head just enough for you to see him through the collar of it, his eyes soft and glistening. They remind you of marbles, in a way. So shiny and with that clash of shades of blue.
The small downwards pout of his lips and minimal shake of his head is all you need to know, that going farther isn’t what he wants. So, you just give a nod in reply and place a hand on the back of his head, bringing him back down again.
You don’t really understand why he feels so much comfort under your shirt like this. Maybe it’s the enclosed feeling of it all, the shirt, and sometimes blanket you put on top, closing him off from the rest of the world.
Maybe its just the closure, and being surrounded by your scent, which always seems to put him at ease, or rile him up, depending on your own mood.
You don’t hate it though, you never could, not when its Clark. So, instead you just lay back, rubbing your hands slowly up and down his back and Clark nuzzles deeper against you, letting him rest there for as long as he needs.
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aliensfuckmeup · 2 days
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Another page from the Loop Being Emo In The Woods WIP! The aftermath of the little episode from the previous page I posted. This one’s finished, and I need to think long and hard abt whether this level of detail is like, sustainable for something 15 pages long 😅
This comic originated from wanting to see more straight up sifloop romance, with pining and sad eyes and angsty internal monologues and tropey romcom bits and a healthy mix of drama/comedy. I plotted out a couple funny little one page comics, then got into thinking about character motivations and emotional beats, and now we’re like, maybe 15 comics/scenes/chaoters plotted and storyboarded in this universe? But because I hate keeping things simple, every one of those fucking comics is between 6-15 pages long and dialogue heavy, and I’m getting mired in the characterization of it all (not even counting getting mired in the visual storytelling and the plot progression of it all! And not even getting started on the “still very new to digital art, how does one use procreate” of it all!) Soooo haha I’m in danger :3
If anyone wants to talk in dms or on discord abt this comic and the greater sifloop shipping trash story it’s part of, hit me up! Especially if you know your way around plotting out a story a lil bit. I don’t know how to start conversations online 🙈 but I like to think I bring a lot to the table talking meta, trading wips and other art that I can’t post here, making lil comics from discord bits, and exchanging help with plotting/storyboarding/dialogue/character interpretations.
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angelliicc · 1 day
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don't call me again
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“to be honest, i don’t care anything about you
baby it’s true, we’re already done”
masterlist
a/n its 11:30 as i type this lmao. guys i used to hate this song 😓 don’t come for me. anyways ENJOY
warnings not proofread, ex-gf!ellie
ellie was your dream girl ever since you laid her eyes on her. you thought you’d be the luckiest person in the world to date her, unfortunately it wasn’t the case. your relationship with ellie was rocky. constant arguments over stupid shit, not responding or talking to each other for days and so much more. when you attempted to strike up a conversation, all she’d do was scroll on her phone and say “mhm” without eye contact. you couldn’t keep up with this, so you called it quits. she had no reaction and honestly could care less when you told her, which led you devastated.
it was 3 am. you couldn’t sleep because you had to finish homework. “ugh, why didn’t i skip conditioning today.” you said with regret. your phone rang as it said ellie williams. “didn’t i block her? how did she get my number?”
you answered. “hello?”
e: “missin u like crazy. need u.”
e: “ hello? you’re not gonna fucking answer?you still mad at me? get over that shit and lets restart. i still love u.”
your face turned bright red with embarrassment, r: “sorry, you were cutting out, im here.”
you thought of two things. 1: play with her feelings for a bit or 2: text her and block her. you decided to have a little bit of fun before you wanted to block her. ellie after a certain time was a different person.
r: “missing me that bad you had to call me?”
e: “yeahh”
r: “how bad do u fr miss me, be honest.”
e: “you all im thinking about all day at any time. i miss you so much baby.”
r: “how’d you even get my number?”
e: “i have my ways.”
r: “i bet you do.”
e: “the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
you smiled over the phone, “don’t worry about it.”
silence filled the call for a few seconds that felt like hours.
r: “don’t you have a girl?”
e: “yeah, but she don’t need to know about this. let this be our little secret.”
r: “should i take you back?”
e: “please.”
r: “nah, ive moved on. don’t call me again.”
you hung up and hit block quickly before she called you again. damn, that bitch was a home wrecker. and you didn’t want to be the cause of something. you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. you really fucking hated ellie williams.
“oh, there was a lot of talk and a lot of trouble
your story and mine are really over now”
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penkura · 20 hours
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Special [2/2]
Note: Second part from this request here! Sorry it took so long, I've been burnt out and just struggling to get things out lately. I'll have an update post later today, I think.
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Sanji really does feel awful when he realizes what’s going on with you, why you walked away and said you wouldn’t bother anymore. He hates how he’s made you feel, without even realizing it, but he never expected you would actually like him back. He’d resigned himself to the fact that, in his mind, you didn’t have any feelings for him nor would you ever. He’s used to it but for some reason it hit harder when he thought it was you that would reject him.
So he never said anything. He treated you normally, as normally as he could when he thought you were so perfect, but it seems like he's made a mistake. He’s made you think there’s something wrong with the way you look, when it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Nami has heard it so much from him she’s started rolling her eyes while Sanji nearly cries to her about how much he adores you.
No, how much he loves you. He’s not told anyone else, only Nami, making her concern3d the moment she notices you avoiding and ignoring him. Once she gets Sanji to tell her what happened, she’s so close to smacking him upside the head for being so stupid.
“Of course she’s upset, you’re an idiot!”
Nami spends the better part of her afternoon berating Sanji, who cant even argue with her and just nods in agreement to everything she says. She stops him before he can even ask for ideas on what to do so he can make it up to you.
“No, you’re doing that yourself this time.”
It takes him most of the day to decide what he could do, what he could say, so it surprises you when he finally shows up after dinner that evening. He’s not looking you in the eyes, but he has your favorite flowers with him, it makes your heart ache a bit, believing he’s done this to every girl he’s ever upset in the past so you don’t move to take the flowers. You’re trying to stop your feelings, he's making it so hard though.
“Sanji—”
“[Y/N], I’m so sorry I made you feel like you aren’t special to me. I…it’s no excuse, but I didn’t think you’d ever have feelings for me like I do for you so I was trying to distract myself from you,” it starts to make sense, but you still don’t move, you’re not entirely sure you can trust him, “If you never forgive me I deserve it, but…can you give me a second chance? No, that’s not right…let me have the chance to make it up to you, and prove you’re so much more than to me than you think you are.”
You’re both quiet for a few moments, Sanji believes you’re completely done with him while you think it through.
A conflict between crewmates over something is always a possibility, but when it’s due to romantic feelings it feels weirdly worse to you. It feels like you’re letting it take over everything, but you’ve had these feelings for so long that you aren’t sure they’ll ever go away, even if you are trying to stop it. You still want to be his friend if nothing else, though it almost seems like he may want something more.
That’s something to discuss later.
Sanji starts to feel like things will get better when you reach out and take the flowers, not looking at him even when he looks up at you.
“…you can make my favorite dessert to start…and explain yourself better.”
The grin on his face makes you smile just a little bit in return, as Sanji nods and takes your hand to bring you to the kitchen.
“I’ll start right away while you put those in water! I’ll make you whatever drink you want too!”
“That sounds nice, Sanji…”
Before you get too much farther, Sanji stops and pulls you into a hug that you return.
“I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t special to me…you mean more to me than anyone else in the world.” You’re going to choose to believe him, especially when Sanji goes the extra mile to make sure you know how much he loves you.
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mywitchyblog · 3 days
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Can someone please explain to me who the hell is so upset with me that they’ve resorted to going into other shifters' ask boxes as an anonymous user and started bullying them in my name? It honestly baffles me that someone would stoop so low. If you have an issue with me or something I’ve said, be direct. I’m not one to hide behind anonymity or drag innocent people into something they have nothing to do with. If I had a problem with you, trust me, I’d say it to your face. I don’t need to hide in the shadows.
Now, there are only two possibilities for what’s going on here, and neither of them reflect well on the person responsible:
The first possibility is that this person is intentionally creating drama by sending themselves an anonymous ask. Maybe they’re looking for attention or trying to stir up conflict where there is none. It's sad, honestly, if that’s what’s happening because it just shows how far some people are willing to go to manufacture chaos.
The second possibility is that I’ve managed to piss someone off to the point where they’re now impersonating me, using my name to spread hate and start fights in spaces where I’m not even involved. If this is the case, I can’t say I’m surprised that someone would go this route rather than confront me directly, but it’s still frustrating. I don’t hide from criticism, and I won’t shy away from addressing issues head-on. But to use my identity in such a toxic way? That’s crossing a line.
To the person this happened to (I found out about this through a mutual, and I want you to know that I’m aware), I am truly sorry. I hate that this situation has dragged you into something you didn’t ask for, and I genuinely wish it hadn’t happened. But let me be absolutely clear: it wasn’t me. I did not send those messages, and I would never engage in that kind of behavior. It’s not how I handle things, and it’s certainly not how I treat others.
You are fully entitled to your own opinion, just like I’m entitled to mine. I’ve never denied that right to anyone, and I wouldn’t start now. We don’t have to agree on everything, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to attack you for your perspective or allow someone else to use my name to do so. That’s not how this works.
And just to set the record straight for the final time: I am not a pedophile, nor do I endorse, encourage, or support anything related to that disgusting behavior. It’s beyond insulting that I even have to keep repeating this, but here we are. In fact, I went out of my way to age myself up by a few years or to completely discard the DRs that felt problematic or uncomfortable. I’ve always been mindful of the spaces I navigate, especially when it comes to shifting, and I’ve made conscious decisions about what I’m comfortable with.
If you’re unhappy or confused about something I’ve said or done, talk to me like a human being. Bring it to me, and let’s figure it out. Don’t jump to conclusions or, worse, involve other people who aren’t even a part of the conversation. It’s cowardly and completely unnecessary. This whole thing could’ve been avoided with a little bit of maturity and honest communication.
At the end of the day, it’s honestly pathetic to bully other people just because they happen to have a different opinion than yours. Why are you so bothered by someone else’s perspective that you’d go out of your way to hurt them or cause unnecessary drama? We’re all individuals here, and our experiences with shifting, our journeys, and our beliefs are going to vary. No two people will see everything the same way, and that’s okay. It’s actually something to be embraced. What’s not okay is tearing each other down because of those differences. That only reflects poorly on you and shows how little respect you have for other people’s paths.
So, let’s try a little harder to be civil and respectful. You don’t have to agree with me, and I don’t have to agree with you, but at the very least, we can treat each other with decency.
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adayumantium · 11 hours
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HEYO!! I AM LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU AND YOUR WORK, sorry that i’m yelling 😔 IM JUST SO EXCITED 🤩🤩
okay anyways umm i was listening to ariana grandes unreleased song ‘fantasize’ and i just imagined logan 😩 yk what i meannn? 😮‍💨 anyways do you think that possibly, maybe, you could make a fic that was inspired by it 😣
please, i love you muah 😍
- 🎶
Fantasize
Logan x gn! Reader 
a/n: this ended up being angsty and I am a little bit sorry,,,,if you WANT maybe ill do a happier part where we actually GIVE IT TO HIM 9 to 5, 5 to 9 yk..... banner by moosgraphics
Summary: when the guy you want is smitten with someone else, you're left to fantasize
W/C: 400ish
tags/warnings: gender neutral reader, jealous reader, pining and longing, crazy levels of Jean hating i won't lie, a little suggestive, a little bit angsty and too real if ur in love with a fictional character….
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You definitely need something stronger. Your fingernails tap the neck of a cold soda bottle, desperate to keep your mind occupied. What does Logan see in her? Yes, Jean is gorgeous. Smart, and suave. She is also taken. You’ve watched her string Logan along, letting him fall in love with her. Scott is so devoted to her, too. There’s nothing to like about her, especially the way she’s wrapped Logan around her pinky finger. 
Now, you watch the two of them laugh, magnetized by each other's lips as they take swigs of their bottles. Your knees buckle seeing Logan’s gaze linger on the rim, Jean’s lipstick left behind. With a roll of your eyes, you go to find somewhere else to sit so that you don’t have to endure their display. Plopping on the couch, you hope that root beer can drown sorrows just as effectively.
Ping! 
Your phone goes off, and you check it hesitantly- the only person you want to hear from is glued to someone else. 
Dan (bar trivia): hey! I had a really good time the other night. Do you want to-
You shut off your cell with a groan, not even gracing the rest of the text with a read. Guys like Dan are the problem, kind and considerate and totally into you.
You want raunchy, rough, and unavailable. 
You want Logan. 
You decide to retire for the night, exchanging courteous goodbyes to the people around you; shooting a glance toward Logan, you’re not even sure he notices, so entranced by Jean's facade. 
Your mind starts to wander, as it often did watching him do menial tasks around the mansion. You would give him anything. Everything. You’d let his hands do whatever they wanted, let his mouth go wherever it pleased. He had to know how desperate you were for him. 
Crawling under your sheets, you’re consumed by the desire to kiss him goodnight, drawing circles on the sprawling canvas that was his back. You would wake up next to him, his hips pressed against your ass and the pillows smelling like sandalwood. 
It’s just not real.
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aria-greenhoodie · 6 hours
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Hey guys did you know I have a gravity falls oc. They’re definitely not wish fulfillment self insert material don’t worry about it. Don’t even worry about it, man.
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Click for Quality! Silly backstory stuff below the cut ↓
- They’re a little cartoon creature from a pocket universe! They’re an immortal creature like Bill, but way less powerful.
- They actually used to work at the theraprism, but went crazy and had a mid-immortality crisis leading to a manic crime-spree. During this turbulent time, they also developed their love for “projects.”
- A “project” to them is basically becoming obsessed with a person they find interesting and getting closer to them by any means necessary in order to study them like a bug. This isn’t romantic, and it isn’t even friendship, but instead a secret third evil thing.
- When they have a project going on, they’ll devote most of their time and energy to the person(s) involved, and they typically seem very content while doing so. Once a project stops interesting them, or if a project is cut short by outside forces (death if the person, sudden change of heart from the person, being caught and dragged to the theraprism, etc) they become restless, easily irritated, and sometimes mildly violent. Their little projects are basically the only thing that keeps them sane.
- Doesn’t really do “friends.” Used to, but it always ended poorly. Prefers their projects; if they loose interest, they can just leave!
- Had a mentor-apprentice type relationship with the Axolotl before their mental decline. Is now VERY conflicted about him; doesn’t like the disappointment in his eyes when he looks at them.
- Was Bill’s Roommate for a time. Was absolutely FASCINATED by Bill’s fucked up mentality. Instantly became one of their favorite projects.
- Bill HATED them like crazy. They would not stop talking to them and had an uncanny ability to make him open up about things he did NOT want to open up about.
- Lost access to Bill after the TBOB incident, since he was moved to solitary confinement.
- Did not take the sudden cancellation of their project well. Ended up breaking out of the Theraprism shortly after.
- Ended up in Gravity Falls by sheer coincidence. Immediately took a liking to the place for its weirdness (felt at home).
- Met the Pines family and became ENRAPTURED with Stanley. Started off just seeing him as a project, but eventually came to view him as something closer to a friend (or perhaps more :3).
- Mabel and them are BESTIES. Mabel loves to treat them like a little dress up doll and they love to model all of Mabel’s mini fashion creations. They also respect her chaos.
- Has a huge respect for Dipper’s curiosity. Has gladly acted as a test subject for him so he can be like Ford and research weird creatures.
- Ford does NOT trust their ass. They eventually form an (somewhat uneasy but otherwise amicable) alliance as time goes on, but Ford never fully bonds with them. He’s been burned by a chaotic multi-dimensional immortal criminal before, he doesn’t want to do that again. Curly gets it. They heard how Bill treated him from Bill’s own mouth (eye?) and have no plans to play copy-cat.
- Stan didn’t like them at first. They reminded him too much of Bill, and acted far too chummy with him specifically far too fast.
- Eventually the two grew closer, realized they had a lot in common (both criminals familiar with the grift, both have a tiny bit of a flair for showmanship, both have similar senses of humor, etc.) and became friendlier.
- The Axolotl knows where they are and is monitoring them closely. They don’t know he’s doing this. He plans to keep it that way.
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jeeseth · 3 days
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sorry! , izna ot7
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pairing , izna x fem!reader
context , how will izna apologise to their girlfriend after an argument!
tags — fluff! might be a little angsty tho, drabble?, idol/non-idol au, literally a different ways of apologising, this is just how i think the izna members will apologise!
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﹟mai !
mai will def be the type that will apologise to you IMMEDIATELY after you two had a fight, like i can already imagine her holding your hands while apologising slowly to you 🥹 PLUS her loving and caring gaze staring right into your almost teary one at hearing her apology.
"baby, i’m sorry i didn’t mean it. i love you so much." she apologised while interviewing your hands with her!
i love our calm baby, like how can you stay mad at her when she’s looking you in the eyes while speaking to you softly. I LOVE HER SO MUCH
﹟jeemin !
our calm baby number two! will definitely stay quiet (sulk) for a while then she’ll realised that it was actually her fault and would come running to apologise to you <3
imagine you’re just chilling in the bedroom and she suddenly come running to you like a puppy seeing its owner! she’s a bear tho but whatever. anyway, i literally can see her standing over at the door with the biggest guilt look on her face.
"baby… i’m sorry." she mumbled, looking down on the floor. you swear you immediately forget that you’re mad at her once you saw the pout on her face. i would too tbh
﹟jiyoon !
she’s lowkey testing your patience even more after the fight AND during the fight (argument). jiyoon staring at you blankly as you keep scolding her, how can it not piss you off? but that’s the thing! she knew about it and she tried her best to try and get your forgiveness since she can’t stand the silent treatment you’re giving her.
imagine waking up the next day and you open your front door to get some fresh air but then, you see a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolate on your doorstep! oh and of course you saw a little note saying ‘sorry for pissing you off.’
dw, you texted her after that and said i love you to her! which makes the worry in jiyoon’s heart melt away!
"i love you more, stupid"
﹟koko !
one thing about her is that i can clarify that she’s a bit stupid! but cute kind of stupid obv <3 she won’t even understand that you were scolding her but after she realised it, she would just stare off to space and think about how should she apologise to you.
well the first thing she tries to do is definitely not to approach you… let’s just say that koko is the type to be scared of her own girlfriend. who wouldn’t but anyway! she’ll def tried to bake something but ended up almost burning the house down. you immediately rush to the kitchen after smelling something burning and you’re laughing your ass off after seeing all the flour splattered on her face. and that’s how you forget that you were mad at her! girlie barely tried and is already forgiven <3
﹟sarang !
clingy. physical touch. kisses. three words to describe the ryu sarang. you were already getting skeptical when you saw sarang just smiling at you as you scold her, but sarang just couldn’t resist the urge to kiss your stupid face right there! it does caught you off guard but it also does lessen your madness a bit!
"what was that for?"
"that’s the only way to make you stop scolding me" sarang giggle and pulls you into a tight hug like nothing happened. you don’t blame her tho, you really enjoyed being in her warm embrace <3!!
﹟jungeun !
hmm… why do i feel like she’ll just say a quick ‘sorry’ then went to sulk in her bedroom. jungeun def HATES fighting or arguing with you. so after every argument it’s always ended up with HER giving you the silent treatment… only for a while tho because it doesn’t affect you at all but it does affect her!
so she’ll just straight ahead and stand in front of you while you’re watching Netflix on the couch.
"i’m sorry. please don’t be mad at me. it was my fault."
cutie.
﹟saebi !
our cute crybaby!!! she would already be breaking into tears as soon as you stop arguing with her. she tried to not make it obvious that she’s literally bawling her eyes out but her sniffles really betrays her. also saebi sucking in harsh breath every five seconds 😭 i can imagine it.
would immediately failed at holding back her tears and went to cry into your arms instead. i’m not sure how’s that possible since she’s sooo tall but.. it’s fine cause it’s saebi!
and that’s how you spend the next few hours comforting her as she keeps apologising to you. it was cute tho it got you giggling the whole time.
"i-i’m.. i’m sorry.. please don’t leave- don’t laugh!" she sobbed burying her face on your shoulders <3
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cozymochi · 3 days
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It's just strange when you want YOUR boundaries respected, but when people set their own boundaries, you mock them and call them silly. Hypocritical of you. As long as nobody is hurt, what is the problem.
…Huh? …Ok, fine. I’ll bite.
My single serious boundary is just cut and dry to not ask me for nsfw and pornographic art when I say repeatedly to not ask me for it.
I am not mocking somebody for saying I find an entirely separate concept (the “non-share yume” ) that, that on paper, sounds a little silly. At least to me, who doesn’t personally do that for one reason or another. But that is solely just on me? I’m not blaming anyone else for that. I’m sure somebody out there finds my boundary un-relatable. I do not think it’s fair to say that I’m being hypocritical for… not fully getting into somebody elses mindset.
And trust me, I think I’m hypocritical enough on a lot of completely unrelated things already.
Is it because I used the word “silly?” Was that being interpreted as mockery rather than just me going “ah, okay. i guess??” I never even said there was any problem either, nor that I hated anybody for it. I guess to be fair upon reflection, I could have just straight said “ah, okay. i guess” rather than “oh that’s silly.” Or not have answered at all. Even if my intent was more so just a passing shrug, I should have been more cautious that somebody could have read that as full dismissal/mockery/finger pointing.
I just personally just don’t get that level of attachment to fictional characters for one reason or another. I just have a disconnect. But if somebody else treats these things on a bit more of a personal level, they can do that, it’s fine? I’m not offended. I’m not sure how else to even articulate this via text that won’t come across as cold (as is that nature of text and no vocalizing).
I do not care nor mind what any of these users do or how they engage with stuff, it’s not my business. I literally didn’t even want to engage on this discussion I had no business talking about further, I was just recounting something that happened to me, like, months ago and having a goof.
I mean, If I think about lot of what I do on paper, it sounds silly if I remove myself for a moment. But, I don’t really mean that in a pejorative way… if that makes sense. Although my way of typing doesn’t always register how I’d like.
ALSO to the prev anon, assuming it’s a different person (tho if not, this still stands), whom I did not answer directly/nor publicly, sorry that I got a little slighted by your sudden long message. Sometimes if I’m done speaking about something, I just want to move on at my own discretion rather than dwell. But I get your intent was to be informative, empathetic and positive rather than talking down to me as my initial gut reaction assumed. This is a me thing, I just tend to get miffed. That’s really it, it’s not personal at all.
It’s out of my control ultimately how I’m perceived. If what I said registered as mockery towards a whole subset of fans’ way of engaging with media, then I’m sorry.
I don’t really plan on speaking nor reflecting about any of this again though, so maybe there’s some solace in that.
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sandersontheside · 3 months
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thinking about a 10 Things I Hate About You AU….Roman Prince is the most popular boy at Padua High. His brother Remus? Is something else entirely. The only thing they have in common is one simple rule:
“You can date when he does.” “But he’s a mutant! What if he never dates?”
Virgil is Cameron, awkwardly crushing on an oblivious Roman. Patton is Michael, his loyal friend who helps him concoct the scheme to get Remus to date so Roman can. Janus is Patrick, paid to ask out Remus and falling for him in the process when he finds someone who sees pst his false reputation. Remy is Joey, Roman’s crush who turns out to be self centered and jerky. Logan is Mandela, the nerdy girl Michael ends up with.
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quietwingsinthesky · 11 days
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sometimes i think about my spn oc and how i rewrote everything about amara to interact with the story i was trying to tell about her. there were some really neat ideas in that i need to recycle for something one day. like, in the show proper, they just let amara take over a human baby and that’s fine, but amara’s not Meant To Be Here. this entire universe is one constructed in her absence. saying she can possess a human body should be like saying if you took a person and sent them to a universe where 1+1=3, they could just figure out how to function within that.
which in story took the form of Amara being something that could not be Understood, only Rationalized. a force locked outside the narrative who could only get inside and destroy things if given a role within it. by the Winchesters as A Monster To Face. by Chuck as Wayward, Unreachable Sister. and by miss oc as. simultaneously a projected creature to be saved, an amalgamation of injustices done to herself (and others) that would never be righted but could be made up for by being a part of this. and as something impossibly powerful that could be both protection and purpose.
and the Darkness wasn’t any of those things, really, but to have agency in her own story required new shackles, but ones she was always straining against. she wouldn’t fit inside the confines of a human mind, let alone a body, at least not well enough to leave it Intact. like lucifer burning through nick, but Worse. because the burns were an expected outcome of skin not strong enough to hold him. humans were built for angels, some were built better and some worse, but they’re meant to work. putting amara in human skin should disconnect the skin and mind and soul from the reality her brother built itself, i think. slowly. bit by bit.
and at the same time, i’d gone and written the kind of wild scenario you really can only write for your thirteen year old mary sue, given that spn oc the part of herald/high priestess/failed vessel. which she pursued with wild abandon like that would fix anything wrong with her <3
in the end, running alongside the borrowed family theming of the original show was my own theme of “how much self-annihilation will you accept to make your point. are you accepting it, really. or are you seeking it.” not just physically, in letting something unmake the base components of what you are as it tries to fit inside you or in it constricting and suffocating itself beyond self-recognition to get inside in the first place, but, obviously, it’s supernatural, how much selfhood do you cede to your family. is it worth it.
it was interesting, if nothing else. let thirteen year old me cook. she had ideas.
#spn oc#don’t mind this i’m rambling about nothing i felt nostalgic about her (<- my oc)#there was also an explanation in the mix for why amara was called amara in this au too despite. you know. not being a baby.#and it was like. a vessel’s desperate attempt to separate itself from the thing inside it by naming it something other than itself.#like a last moment of self-preservation. the opposite of lucifer using nick’s face and us all agreeing to think of it as his. you know?#and amara means beauty.#it’s a very human need. to name things. and the thing is that humanity itself is antithetical to what amara is. in this au.#not because of any inherent quality of it. but because it was not made with her in mind.#i keep bringing up lucifer but he’s such a good comparison case of what thirteen year old me was trying to construct here#and what i can better explain now that im. not thirteen. but its that. lucifer has beef with humans because they have common ground.#the only reason he can hate them is because they’re recognizable to him. terrible little cockroaches. but something he understands.#amara as i conceived of her could not hate or love or understand humanity. or the world. or anything as we know it. because it was not made#to be seen by her. it was made with the express purpose of her never encountering it.#when i was thirteen i wanted her to be so much more alien than she was. unfortunately this is supernatural and supernatural deals in#Just Some Guy forever and ever <3#but it was my story so i made her fucked up and weird and beyond comprehension.#except. of course. when forced to bend into a shape that makes her Not her.#i don’t think proper envesseling would have been a process either her or the oc survived. not because they’d die but because they’d get.#stuck? i think? that was what the intent was. that they’d get melted together like plastic toys.#chuck had a nice smooth envesseling in this au because these toys are made for him.#and angels need consent and angels get bleedover from their vessels because the toys are shared with them but they’re closer to being toys#themselves too.#i’ve rambled enough honestly no one cares about this but me aksjfkjfks#what was i talking about. right! the naming!#the naming of amara is a nail in her coffin because she is named and it is so human to be named and to be perceived and to be shaped by that#perception. even without malicious intent. even to be looked at as destruction itself and be named beauty.#in the same way you kill what something could be by learning what it is. the way a unicorn dies when you discover how rhinos were drawn.#does that make sense? that’s what kills her. bit by bit.
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