#something possessed me to make this and like yeah I guess Tumblr can have this

[deep-fried-pond-water-exe]

[btsugarush]

GANGSTA | myg - 003

summary: rough sex, blood money, drugs, and gang related activity; four things you never predicted to experience in your simple life. not until you opened your mouth and caught his attention.

pairings: gang leader!yoongi x f!reader

warnings: smut, gunplay, drugs, drug addiction, dark!yoongi, drug lord!yoongi, strong language, gang violence, blood and gore, murder, manipulation, possessive/obsessive behavior, abuse, cheating, angst, fluff, dubcon, implied noncon (not from yoongi but within his gang with his knowledge), 18+, minors dni

warnings for this chapter: attempted sexual assault.

authors note: sorry if you asked to be tagged but weren’t. some accounts wouldn’t let me tag, so if you asked but you’re not here it’s likely because tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you.

word count: 3.3k

The erratic sound of banging on your front door startles you, nearly causing you an untimely death as you almost had a slip and fall in the shower. You regain your balance, groaning in the process as it didn’t take a village to figure out who exactly was pounding on your door at this time of night. You turn the valves, shutting off the water before grabbing a towel from the towel rack and wrapping it around yourself. 

You step out of the tub, your wet feet pattering on the living room floor to let in who you could only assume was Mina. You pull open your front door, and Mina speeds past you without saying a word. “Mina, it’s late. What are you doing here? You know I have work tomorrow,” You frown, shutting the door. 

When you turn to your friend, you notice her eyes were bloodshot red from crying. “Woah… what's wrong?” You scrunch your eyebrows, now feeling worried. “I think Jin is cheating on me.” She sniffs. Your eyes widened, and your mouth dropped open in shock. Jin? Cheating on Mina? You somehow found that hard to believe. Jin was in love with Mina. 

“How can you be sure? Did you catch him?” She shakes her head, plopping down on your couch. “No. It’s just that he’s been acting so weird lately. He’s anxious, jumpy and he’s always checking his phone. He’s been so secretive.”  You make a “tsk” sound, grabbing a chair from your table to pull up across from her, not wanting to sit your wet body on your couch. “You’re overthinking this. You said yesterday that he’s struggling with work, so it’s only plausible that he’s stressed and anxious.” 

“Yeah, but he just doesn’t seem like himself. I’m worried he’s going to leave me.” 

“Mina, Seokjin loves you. I’d be surprised if he was cheating. The guy literally worships the ground you walk on.” You smile softly, trying your best to reassure her. “He doesn’t seem to worship the ground I walk on much lately…” she wipes away the stray tears on her cheeks. “So talk to him, see where he’s coming from. Give him an ultimatum if you have to, I don’t know. But don’t assume the worst.” 

Mina lets out a heavy sigh, slowly nodding her head. “I guess you’re right…” you knew you were right. Jin wasn’t even the type of guy to sneak around. He was always calling you in regards to Mina. What to buy her for her birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day. It just didn’t seem likely. “Can I sleep over tonight? I’ll drive you to work tomorrow.” You couldn’t refuse the offer, it beats taking the bus. 

“How can I say no when you drive such a hard bargain?” You chuckle, standing up from the chair and dragging it back to your table. “Did I interrupt something?” Mina asked, just now noticing you were wrapped in a towel. “Only my shower.” You walk back into your bedroom, pulling open your wardrobe to grab a nightgown. You slip on the gown before lazily tossing your towel atop of your dresser. 

Mina comes into your room after you’re dressed, throwing herself into your bed. “How was work today?” She asks. You grimaced. You didn’t even want to think or talk about work after what happened with Yoongi today. That guy seriously gave you the creeps. “Same old, same old until Mr. Kim made me deliver food in Gongdan.” 

Mina gasped, sitting up in your bed. “You went to the devil’s playground?” You nodded, climbing into bed with her. “Yes, and that isn’t even the worst part. The person I was delivering to was that psycho Yoongi.” Mina gagged upon hearing the raven’s name. “I’m still creeped out from your altercation with him and his gang yesterday. What a coincidence.” 

“I wouldn’t quite call it that…” you mumble, your mind wandering back to him knowing the details of your personal life. “What do you mean by that?” She raises a brow. You bite down on your bottom lip, contemplating on whether or not you should tell her about Yoongi and his “connections”. Mina wasn’t the type of person to handle news like that lightly. She’d be freaked out constantly looking over her shoulder. 

“Nothing, I’m just overexaggerating.” You played it off.  “I should get to bed. Don’t wanna collapse on the job tomorrow.” You stood up from your bed to switch off your lights before climbing back in to snuggle under your blanket. “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

“I’ll pick you up when you’re off, alright?”

“Sounds good. See you, Mina!” The blonde waves goodbye before pulling off. Hopefully she takes this time off to talk to her boyfriend, you could tell she was still sad about it. You enter Makoto, the door dinging as you do. “Oh, kid, thank god you’re here. I thought you were going to call off too.” Mr. Kim says upon your arrival; the older man was on the floor taking orders. “Too? Jimin isn’t here?” You frown, looking around for the brunette. 

“No, that unreliable little shit called off. Apparently he has the flu. So hurry up and clock in, then come take over these orders.” You nod, walking to the back of the kitchen. You grab a time card and swipe it through the clock before taking an apron from the hook. As you’re tying the cloth around your waist, the kitchen phone begins to ring. “I got it.” Mr. Kim says, appearing from the cut. 

You grab a notepad and pen from the pen holder, taking Mr. Kim’s place on the floor. There weren’t a lot of people in today, nor did you have a lot of orders to take considering Mr. Kim had already taken most of them. You were shocked that Jimin called off today. He never missed a day of work, you would’ve thought he was immune to any kind of disease. 

“Well, aren’t you a better exception than the old man.” A young brunette says as you approach his table. He’s sitting across from a woman, who doesn’t seem to mind his eyes raking up and down your body. She must’ve been his friend, and not his girl. “Can I get you anything?” 

“Your number.” He chuckles. You roll your eyes, letting out a sigh. You didn’t have time for this. “My name is Taehyung, beautiful. But you can call me Tae.” He bites down on his bottom lip in a sultry way. You shake your head, turning your attention to the girl instead as you saw you were getting nowhere. “Ma’am, can I get you anything?” 

“I’ll just take some water, nothing else.” You write down her order, slowly nodding your head.‘You could’ve had water at your house.’ You thought, feeling as though these people were here to waste your time. You turn back to the man, Tae, seeing if he was finally ready to put aside the flirting and order something. “Now can I get you anything?” 

“Rice cakes.” He replies dryly, looking off put at the fact you rejected him. He must not get too many rejections. You write down the order, throwing a smile their way. “I'll be back with your orders.” You stumble off into the kitchen, catching Mr. Kim stuffing a brown bag into a plastic one. “We’ve got another delivery order today.” He says, holding out the bag for you to take. You look from Mr. Kim, to the bag in his hands. “No way. Last time I went it was that thug, Min Yoongi.” You crossed your arms, refusing to take the bag. 

“Yeah, so what? Like it or not, he’s still a customer. We can’t refuse people just because we don’t like them.”

“It’s more than that, Mr. Kim–” 

Mr. Kim cuts you off before you’re able to continue protesting. “Take the damn order, y/n.” You sigh, snatching the bag from the older man’s hand. When you check the order, you’re not surprised that it’s the same address you went to yesterday. If you didn’t know any better you’d say Mr. Kim knew that Yoongi was stalking you, but he was too scared to put his foot down. If Jimin was there, he’d be the one doing deliveries. Was he actually sick?  You weren’t so sure anymore. 

You exit the kitchen through the back door, same as yesterday. As you pick up the red bike from the ground, you ponder on whether or not you should truly go to the address. You could just ride around, eat that jerk’s dumplings and then come back to work as if you made the trip. ‘What if that asshole calls though? He’ll probably get me fired.’ You pout. Guess you didn’t have a choice. Maybe you’ll just ring the bell this time, sit it out front and leave before he comes out. 

You mount the bike, tie the bag to the handle just as you did the other day and ride off to Gongdan. You didn’t use your GPS this time around, seeing as you knew exactly where the destination was. As you cross over into the devil’s playground, you notice the same group of men standing on the corner smoking weed again. They watch you, whispering something amongst themselves. 

‘Is this a daily routine for them?’ 

As the streets get emptier in this general territory, you knew you were close. For some reason people never seemed to venture where Yoongi’s little headquarters were, except for a few homeless folks. You make a turn, coming up on the warehouse. You ride your bike around to where you remember the front door was, and your face goes grim. 

Yoongi was standing outside, puffing on a cigarette. The raven notices you pull up, and a smile forms his face. So much for leaving the damn food in front of the door. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite delivery girl.” You halt the bike, kicking forward the brakes before dismounting. You hand the raven his food, which he takes. “What? Not speaking to me?” 

You keep your mouth closed, not giving him the satisfaction of you bantering back and forth. You don’t get very far before he’s stopping you from getting onto the bike. “Hey,” the raven grabs your wrist, twirling you around to face him. “I’m talking to you. I don’t take well to being ignored.” 

You snatch your wrist away from him. “And I don’t take well to being stalked. I thought I told you to leave me alone?” Yoongi smirks. “And I thought I told you I get what I want?”

You scoff, crossing your arms. “You may get what you want, but I won’t be one of them. Next time you call my job under false pretenses, I’m not showing up.” You climb back onto the bike, kicking back the brakes before riding away from the warehouse. You don’t even spare a second glance at the man. 

How long was this going to go on for? Was he constantly going to call on you for deliveries on your work days? Perhaps you should adjust your schedule. That way he wouldn’t know what days you worked. Your mind was so clouded with Yoongi that you neglected to pay attention where you were going. You end up making a hard stop as you notice a man in your pathway. “Hey!” You shout at him. “Don’t you know not to stand in the middle of a bike lane?” 

The man doesn’t respond, casually spitting on the ground. You squint your eyes, the stranger looking vaguely familiar. It then dawns on you; he was one of the men that stood on the corner smoking weed. You feel slightly uncomfortable as the guy made no effort to speak, or even move out of your way. “Okay… guess I’ll just go around you then.” You try to maneuver around him, but he blocks your path again.

“What’s your problem? Move.” You say, once again trying to go around. Unfortunately it was all to no avail. You decide to back away instead, but bump into a figure. “Going somewhere?” Another man vocalizes from behind you. Your heart thumps against your chest, knowing no good was going to come from this situation. “We’ve seen you come down this way twice now. Not many girls like you ride through here.” The guy who blocked the front of your bike finally speaks with a gruff voice.

“Look… I don’t want any trouble. I’m just trying to get  back to work.” You tell the guys, attempting to maintain a calm composure. You didn’t want to look as afraid as you felt. They both laugh, sharing a look of amusement with each other. “Heard that, Yejun? She doesn’t want any trouble.”

“Guess she shouldn’t have come to Gongdan then.” 

You look between the two men, trying to come up with some course of action to get out of this predicament. You’re hardly able to make a move before you're suddenly snatched from the bike and being dragged into an alleyway. “Let go of me!” You scream, thrashing your body to get free. “She’s a feisty one, huh?” They simultaneously cackle. 

You notice that the rest of the men you’ve seen standing on the corner were in the alley as well. This was surely premeditated. You're roughly thrown to the ground, two men immediately taking action to pin your arms down before you could get up. “Get the fuck off of me!” You screech, kicking your legs. “Hey, Jiwon, hold her legs down.” One of the guys instructed. Your legs were suddenly held down; you were completely restrained, and at the mercy of these sick men. 

“Stop! Let go!” Another man is straddling you, pulling out a pocket knife. “Scream all you want, girl. You’re in Gongdan, no one’s gonna come to your rescue.” The man takes the pocket knife, cutting the top of your shirt. Your eyes flutter shut, tears rolling down your cheeks. ‘This can’t be happening… I can’t believe this is happening…’

“Don’t you peons have anything better to do?” A monotone voice speaks behind the men. The group turns around, coming face to face with none other than Yoongi. “Yo, it’s Agust D.” One of the guys holding down your arms whispered. ‘Agust D? Yoongi?’ You opened your eyes, lifting your head to see the raven leaned against the brick wall, his hands in his pockets as he eyed the men. 

“Get off her and get the fuck out of here.” He says in a calm, but warning tone. The stoic look on his face unwavered. All the men spared glances with one another, mulling over the threat. The guy with the pocket knife nods, flipping the blade closed before climbing off of you. The men released you, dipping off down the other end of the alley, avoiding Yoongi at all cost. You were surprised they actually listened to him, seeing as there were more of them than there were of Yoongi. He must really strike fear into people’s hearts. 

You sit up from the ground, staring down at your ripped shirt in embarrassment. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand, sniffling. Yoongi approaches your shaken figure, crouching down to your level. You look up at him, and the raven tilts his head slightly. “So Wonder Woman, you ready to accept a ride today?” 

You sigh, slowly nodding your head. You didn’t think you could ride back on the bike after this. Yoongi stands up, extending a hand for you to take. You stare at this hand, your mind only thinking about all the blood that’s probably covered it once before. “C’mon, sweetheart. You gotta get back to work, don’t you?” 

You hesitantly take his hand, letting the raven pull you up to your feet. “H-how did you know I was back here?” You ask him curiously. “I saw your bike.”

‘Yeah right, you were following me…’

With your hand still in his, Yoongi leads you to his black Nissan Sentra. He opens the passenger door for you, and you climb in. The raven rounds the other side of the car, grabbing your bike from the bike lane. He opens the back door, adjusting his seats so he could fit the bike in. “That’s as good as it’s gonna get.” He mumbles, shutting the back door. 

He finally climbs into the driver’s seat, slamming his car door close. You sit quietly as the car peels off. “Are you hurt? Did they–” 

“Can we just not talk and sit in silence?” You cut him off. As if this jerk really cared about you. It’s his fault you were at the devil’s playground in the first place. The raven nods marginally, sitting in silence per your request. As the two of you kept the peace, your eyes ever so slightly peered over to him. “You know,” you started. “This is all your fault,” Yoongi smiles as though he knew you weren’t going to keep quiet. That just didn’t seem like your style. “If you hadn’t called me down here again, I wouldn’t have been assaulted.”

“So much for silence.” He chuckled.

“You think because you're a self proclaimed bad boy, with a horrific rep, and a cute smile that girls are supposed to fall at your feet. Well, I refuse to be one of them, okay? So, give it up.” The raven now has his eyes on you, a grin on his face as if he enjoyed your little outburst. “You done now, sweetheart? Did you get it all off your chest?” You huffed, looking out of the window. “Good.” The car goes mute again,  and you gently bite down on your bottom lip. You wanted to ask the raven questions that had been on your mind since you met him, but you were afraid of his reaction. You decide to take the risk anyway, considering your circumstances.

“Is it true what people say about you?” 

Yoongi quirks a brow. “You’re gonna have to be more specific, princess. People say a lot of things about me.” You look away from the window, facing the man of many names. “Have you… killed people before?” You watch Yoongi’s facial expression change; it’s serious, dark. “If I’ve killed people do you really think I’d tell you?” 

You shrug. “Probably not, but If you haven’t it would be a simple no.” The raven looks over at you, his eyes boring into yours. “No. I haven’t.” 

One would feel relieved upon hearing that, but for some reason you didn’t quite believe him. Not with the way people seemed to stop breathing at his very presence.

Yoongi pulls up in front of Makoto, getting out of the car first to wedge your bike from his backseat. You open your door, following suit as you move around the car to take the bike from the raven. He closes the car door, leaning his back against it. The two of you stand in silence for a moment before you let out a deep sigh. “Thanks… for getting those guys off of me. Even though it’s your fault.” You mutter the last sentence. Yoongi smiles. “Don’t mention it, Princess. Maybe you can thank me in another way sometime.” 

He pushes himself off of the car, pulling open his driver’s door. “You got something wrong about me yesterday in your little autobiography,” Yoongi stops, raising an eyebrow at you. “Jungkook isn’t my boyfriend. Yet.” You inform him. The raven hums. “Noted. That makes this even easier.” 

“Easier?” You deride. “You really think you have a chance with me, don’t you?” 

Yoongi shakes his head. “I don’t think I do, I know I do. You called my smile cute, remember? Pretty sure I’ve already got you.” He flashes a cocky smile your way before climbing into his car. The raven looks at you one last time before driving away, and you watch as the car flies down the road, disappearing from your sight. 

Taglist

@everestwho @sukonsukuna @ejaeee @oppa-agust-d @softlore23 @empty-and-nameless @darkphoenix5037 @agustdsslutt @nepheleindreamland @pennyellee @fairy-jojo @mysweetpianoo @elodieeluvsjk @acquiescence804 @niamscraic @secfir @judebellinghamswife @prettybitxc @forevercarpediem227 @noraaaru @bangtanxcoffee @pamzn @addictedtohobi @bex-92br @mindairy @milomai19 @pjmsneverland @wolfvmin @wertaix @hanadulset714 @honeynicoole @catlove83 @polipiper @sophiiroth @kooslilhoe @legit-min-yoongi-trash-tho @guesswhatimthinking @cynicalbitch666 @l2ovesick @cuntessaiii @aloverga @daniarafid @slut4jeon

[emmie-writes-stuff]

So the new chapter is out and GOOD GOD do I have some thoughts and a lot of them don’t make a whole lot of sense but I can’t not talk about this chapter

Firstly, Kaiser looks adorable (never thought I’d say that about him outside of my head but here I am)

Secondly, holy hell my heart hurts

He didn’t deserve this, no child deserves this

The fact that he had to “go to work” and just steal

HE HAS NO SHOES his little feet have got to hurt, or they’ve completely calloused up from not wearing shoes, but even then (speaking from experience) it still hurts to walk on hot ground and rocks and other stuff on the street

Yknow, I understood him hating milk before (because milk is disgusting) but now I get it even more

What a stupid reason to get upset, imma kick this waste of space excuse for a father in the fucking face AND balls because ITS FUCKING MILK

Eat some damn fiber or somethin if you got constipation issues

Who let this absolute scum of the earth reproduce???

HES LITERALTL TWELVE YEARS OLD

All the other shit went down before he was even double digits

But dangerous situations create smart kids, and Kaiser was very smart to start saving his own money

I used to have my own stash in case I ever had to run away (long story, we’re not getting into my family issues in this post, but yeah)

At least he has shoes now, protect those feet plz, they’re what keep you upright and moving

Soooooooo are we gonna acknowledge that he treats the soccer ball the same way he’s currently treating Ness orrrrrrrr

But like, it’s nice that he has an outlet to channel his anger into that isn’t a person (at least for now smh)

It’s really interesting seeing how each of the characters came to play soccer

(Side note: but he throws the ball at a picture of a woman, could he maybe be imagining this woman as his mother?)

His mother also deserves a kick to the face if I have anything to say bout it

I have no words for this

Just, can I steal him? Please? I’ll give him a good life

Fuck the snitches, how dare they

Also, you can clearly see his ribs defined, and that hurts me

I love that he was willing to let go of everything

He was ready to start fresh with getting money, was cooperating with the police, until the soccer ball was threatened

Because that is his most valuable possession

The money doesn’t matter, but the ball is a symbol to him of something that won’t leave him or hurt him

It’s a very small sense of independence and stability in this very unstable and controlling environment

The ball is heavily implied to be the first thing he ever bought for himself, it’s what defined a key part in his life

Taking that away is like taking away his soul, his outlet, and comfort, and Kaiser just couldn’t stand for it

There’s so many more things I’m thinkin and I have way too many incoherent thoughts for tumblr, but these are the ones I was able to clear up and make sense of

This chapter hit very deep and while my past doesn’t involve much physical abuse and struggles to this level, it was hard not to empathize and relate my own experiences with abuse with the ones in this chapter

I don’t wanna get into shit, it’s not somethin I exactly wanna put out in the public, but there’s so much here that I could understand and relate to and it just made everything so much more difficult to read (in a good way I guess)

Just, GOD, why did I have to become a fan before this chapter came out???

Okay, that’s my ramble for this, bye before I start going on even more tangents

[thiefof-trefl]

So I haven't seen anyone compare the (alleged) UHC Shooter to Rodion Rascolnikov, and maybe I'm delusional but that's all I can think about every time new info is released.

Ok so it started when I saw this post

And told my friend "wouldn't it be funny if he saw the og post and it was the last straw? Like when Rascolnikov went to that bar in the beginning of the book and heard other people complaining about that usurer?"

Then I started really thinking about it and maybe I'm doing too much and they're not that similar but this is Tumblr, hear me out:

1. They're hot. Seems silly but being attractive can really change how public views you. Characters in the book often acknowledge Rodion's good looks while being very open and revealing in conversations with him. And sure Tumblr would probably be thirsting after "the Adjuster" even if he weren't conventionally attractive, but the overall public perception of him was greatly positive and I believe it is also due to the halo effect.

2. Personal feelings covered by ideology. I'm not saying the shooting was purely selfish. It had a great impact on the industry and was something many thank him for. But from what we know Mr Luigi had a major back surgery and suffered from back pain. It is very possible his own experience with the healthcare and Insurance industry was what first pushed him to see it as a problem. Rascolnikov struggled financially and kept on borrowing from the usurer leaving every valuable thing in his possession as pledge. His resentment towards her and his own circumstances was converted into an ideology about people superior and people lesser, which validated his decision to murder her.

3. Masterplan and stupid decisions. It's easy to see how brilliant the execution of the assassination was. The place, the timing, the escape. He even managed to leave New York during the manhunt. But there were missteps along the way. Going to Starbucks, flirting with the hostess, reusing the fake id, wearing the same clothes. Dumb little things that could be written off to both stress and arrogance. Reminds me of silly mistakes Rascolnikov did after murder. Dropping a jewellery box on the way out, keeping the bloodied sock, coming back to the murder scene. But that's where I also see a big difference. While Rodion was overcome with paranoia and fear, I suspect (just an educated guess, I don't know him personally) that our Shooter might have felt too... Proud of himself? The assassination succeeded, he escaped the police, left the state and the public at large loves him! I know it would make me feel invincible.

4. Game of cat and mouse. This one's not as big, just a small similarity. They both mock the police. Rascolnikov during in person conversations and the Adjuster by leaving the backpack full of monopoly money. Hilarious in both cases.

And finally

5. Letting the police catch them. It's just a theory, not really backed up by anything other than conjectures, but I can see why it might be true. Rodion Rascolnikov tired of constant paranoia and guilt driving him crazy goes to the police and confesses to murder. The alleged UHC CEO Shooter Luigi Mangione was arrested after being recognised by a McDonald's customer. He was wearing the exact same get up as during the shooting. And though he used a fake id at first he then admitted his real name. One might think he gave up. It's disappointing but I can't blame him if that was his decision. Living on the run is exhausting. In just two days he had already left so many traces and clues. And he killed a rich guy at that, which we all know is not the same as killing a normal person. The family and police would spare no resources to find him and it would go on for a long time. Years of fear and hiding- that's no life. Right now we can only hope the evidence will be found insufficient and he won't get convinced.

So yeah, had to get it out of my head. Sorry for any mistakes and words used in a wrong way, translating long thoughts into English isn as easy as I thought.

Please, please, please let me know what you think, does it make sense or am I crazy?

[gachaclubideas]

Part 2 of this is here!

@glitchychara (Glitchychara)

@matrixxdx (Gabrielle)

@jamesjexxisdeadlmao (Pelios)

@9mysterybook6 (Mystery)

@prometheus2007 (Promni)

@livesonya16 (Sonya)

@alinorianddrago (Ali)

@rhmis-user-2020 (Rhmis)

@rookie-choco (Rookie)

@ayelen0o0o (Ayelen)

@2laffy2 (Laffy)

@violetthediamondsblog (Violet)

(I'm going to use a spinning wheel for this, so it will be all random)

Gacha Tumblrs in The Purge

random person: The Purge now begin.

Glitchychara: Oh my goodness I've been waiting for this! *Gasp* I have to figure out where my enemies are right now because I think I should pay them a visit. Wait! I have a whole hit list, Let get started!

Ayelen: This Purge is making me hungry. I just really want a bag of Doritos.

random person: I'm about to get the last bag.

Ayelen: Nu uh! No you not! *killing the person*

random person: AHHHH

Ayelen: There we go. Whoo, tried to take my Doritos.

Sonya: So I stole this luxury car and now I'm driving 200 miles speed in the road. I think I hit like 5 people but who care! You only live once.

Laffy: *Gasp* Someone set my school on fire!? I wonder who did it? I mean it definitely wasn't me hehe. I would never commit arson

Rookie: Guess who just broke into a bank and just about to steal 2.7 billion dollars? Ah It's me!

Mystery: *dancing* Yas let's party!

***

Gacha Tumblrs in The Hunger Game

Rookie: I was fighting Ayelen for a Pop-Tart. I said I said “Give me the Pop-Tart.” and she just stabbed me like.

Ayelen: I am so lost. *Gasp* Some berries. *Eating the berries*……I think that was poisonous.

Gabrielle: Look that those pretty butterflies. Wait, they're bees! I'm allergic to bees!!

Violet: Hey Mr Game Maker, are you filming this?

Game Maker: Yeah.

Violet: Okay because I want to save this for later for when I have my reality TV show. Okay so basically Rhims came up to me and she was like- argh!? Promni why would you shoot me? I was having my Kardashian moment.

Laffy: Rhims please don't stab me. I was just trying to take a peaceful walk okay. *got stabbed* Rhims…😭

Mystery: *Gasp* Is that a snake? Aw come here, you remind me of myself. Huh!? Did you just bite me!? You're venomous!!

Pelios: Y'all I just made this amazing fire, it definitely won't let anyone know I'm here. Hey Glitchychara, how did you find me?

Glitchychara: I saw the fire.

Pelios: Oh. Argh!! *got stabbed* Glitchychara why did you stab me?

Glitchychara: *hear the bear roar* Was that a bear!? Oh my goodness, RUN!

Rhims: Okay only three more to go. Sonya, Ali and- guh! Promni, did you just hit me with your axe?!

Promni: Sonya why did push me into the lake? You know I can't swim.

Game Maker: New rules, there can be two victors.

Sonya: Ali did you hear that? That means we both won! *Got stabbed* Did you just slice me with your sword!?

Ali: This is a solo, not a duel. So where's my money? Do I get paid or something?

***

Gacha Tumblrs in A Haunted House

Violet: You told we were going to Taylor Swift concert. But this look like Taylor Swift?

Violet's friend: I had to trick you coming

Violet: Well you don't have to trick me leaving, because I am out.

???: OooOoOoo

Violet: Is that a ghost!? No, you know what I'm just stick with y'all.

Pelios's creator: Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere.

Pelios: I was just playing this teddy bear that I found.

Pelios's creator: Wait did you touch it?

Pelios: Yeah why?

Pelios's creator: You could be possessed!!

Pelios: I could be possessed!? What- *being possessed*

Rhims: Y'all I think I can see the ghost of Prince Philip in the corner over there.

random person: I am not a ghost. This place used to be a nursing home when they left me when they moved.

Rhims: My goodness

random person: Look at that ghost.

Ali: That right here is not a ghost. That is just someone who need a haircut. Hey little ghost girl.

random person: She does not want to talk you.

Ali: No she just shy. Look, I have a coupon to this great hair salon. I can get you hooked up and everything.

little ghost girl: What?

Ali: See she interested.

The ghost: Hey so I'm the ghost of this house. And if y'all don't get out in next 10 minutes, I will personally possess each one of you.

Gabrielle: No I do not want to be possessed! Today is not the day, we gotta go!

Ayelen: If the ghost wants to fight, then we could just fight. I mean I fight the ghost.

Mystery: Come on, we just have to start the car.

random person: The car won't start.

Mystery: Really? Okay I just call the Uber.

random person: We don't have cellphone service.

Mystery: Oh my goodness, well I guess we walking home.

Laffy: Y'all that haunted house was nothing. If one of y'all want to see something haunted, then let just go to the bathroom at Walmart.

[makeste]

I think there’s some speculation that AFO made sure Yoichi got actual clothes and that was the discrepancy between their clothing choices. It could also be a reference to AFO’s current clothing choices

okay first of all you have the best user avatar I have ever seen on tumblr dot com, just wanted you to know that.

anyway, re: AFO, I agree he was almost certainly the one who found clothes for Yoichi. although I don't necessarily think it's some kind of self-sacrificial thing, like "I don't care if I'm out here dressed in a trash bag as long as my baby bro has something decent to wear 🥺", lol. I count five different guys in the panel right before Yoichi throws the beer can, all of whom are wearing perfectly stealable clothes. AFO's whole thing is that he does whatever he wants and takes whatever he wants. so if he wants clothes, he's getting clothes. I think it's more likely that he just didn't care about that for whatever reason. maybe he stole some quirks that kept his body from feeling cold, or thickened the soles of his feet to prevent damage, or whatnot.

but as far as Yoichi goes, it's almost akin to buying a decent case and a screen protector to make sure your cell phone doesn't get damaged. Yoichi is AFO's favorite possession, but he's weak and frail and vulnerable to the elements. so yeah, sure, get the lil dude some clothes. because you gotta make sure he doesn't up and die on you, because he's not allowed to do that, because he is yours.

like it's just so fascinating to me how he's constantly on the cusp of almost genuinely caring about his brother, but his own selfishness keeps holding him back. Yoichi is incredibly important to him, because he was his only companion during what must have been an incredibly lonely period in both their lives. Yoichi knows him better than anyone. Yoichi reads to him. Yoichi believes in him. so of course AFO is attached to him and wants him around. and he protects him and takes care of him. but it's because Yoichi can give him something that he can't get anywhere else. it's a selfish love. and that's where the whole thing ultimately falls apart. when Yoichi stopped listening to him, AFO locked him up and tried to force his obedience. and it's very strongly implied -- guess we'll see for sure in two weeks -- that when even that failed, AFO decided that if he couldn't have him, no one would.

anyway so yeah. tl;dr I'm not sure why AFO was so opposed to wearing pants for so long, but for what it's worth he did make sure Yoichi never went without. just not necessarily out of the goodness of his heart. I love their relationship though, and Horikoshi has me 100% invested in seeing how this will all ultimately play out.

[idontknowreallywhy]

Thanks to @ficwip for the questions. Thought I’d have a go to see where I’ve got up to / maybe motivate myself out of a writing slump.

Didn’t quite manage to get it done by end of year but I never do finish anything by NYE and consequently as a mid-January birthday girl I often decide to have my new year start a little later in the month anyway so…

Herewith waffle mostly written while trying not to nod off on a plane…

1. How many fics have you worked on since January?

Complicated question… I THINK - 29 in total?

In terms of what I’ve actually POSTED here…

11 one-shots [ How to Infuriate Your Engineer , The Last of Them , Comb , Pressure , Push , Shine , Expert , Thread , Scott is Not Fine Catharsis , A Refrigeration Situation ] - 11,502 words total.

65 Chapters covering 10 fics [ Estera (3) ; Bearded (3) ; Presence (5) ; Composition (4) ; Resurface (36) ; Father’s Day (4) ; Teeth (2) ; 75 (3) ; Fishtank-ed Up (2) ; An Eyebrow-Razing Incident (3) ] - 72,263 words total.

54 WIP Snippets which haven’t become finished chapters or one-shots yet covering 3 of the above and 8 other fics [ Blue (15) ; Estera (12) ; Burn it All (8) ; Snapshots (2) , Octopus House (4) ; Red (3) ; Fishtank-ed Up (3) ; In a Glass Darkly (1) ; Oort Cloud (3) ; Resurface (1) ; ?? (2) ] - 17,703 words total.

All that totals 101,468 tumblr-posted fic-words so I did hit my target of 100k although I didn’t actually FINISH as many stories as I intended to!

Then there is an additional 46,000 I have in draft for the Estera universe… some of which might make in into publishable form at some stage, some just for my own amusement 🤣 plus another 4,000 or so for other fics including the end of Resurface… and a couple of brand new ones which may or may not see the light of day…

So objectively I really did do a fair bit of writing this year and shall endeavour to allow myself to be proud of this!

2. What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year?

Err… Finishing one? 🤣

Did I though… um…

Ok scratch that.

I wrote a cheesy little song for one of them then threaded references to it through some chapters in a couple of fics. That was new. Whether successful? Well I like it but I can hear it in my head which probably makes it work better for me than anyone else. However I enjoyed myself so…

3. What piece of media inspired you the most? (This can be the fandom you wrote the most for, the one that spawned the most ideas, the one you thought about the most, etc.).

Well, my beloved Thunderbirds are Go, obviously! Hyperfixation much?

4. How many fandoms did you write for this year?

Just the one :)

5. What ships captured your heart?

Newly this year? I guess to interpret the word ‘captured’ literally to mean ‘possessed entirely against my will’ then I guess… Scott/Havoc (even though I still scream NOOOoOoOOoOOOOOO internally when I type that!). It’s not a natural fit for me as I do tend to favour some potential for a happy ending and it’s harder to see how it is possible with this ship but some fabulous fics have emerged on it. I do love a redemption arc though and I like how various people have developed Havoc’s character in their stories. But also still noooooooo my little guy deserves better-happier-uncomplicated. But also also yeeeeeesssssssss.

6. What characters captured your heart?

Weirdly, because I did not intend this at all and most of the time I want to slap him with a really large fish… I’ve written a fair bit of Jeff POV in the latter part of the year! Both pre-Lucy death and post-ZeroX. In between those times I still want to slap him with that fish.

7. Did you write for any new fandoms or ships this year?

A new ship, yes. And one that was completely unexpected and I don’t think anyone else has tried yet but I’m enjoying it. Not made a lot of progress yet so won’t say any more than that!

8. What fic meant the most to you to write?

Resurface I think. It covers a heck of a lot of headcanons and yeah… it turns out walloping Virgil is a fun way to prod at all of the bro relationships. And I have enjoyed the process of iteratively fixing Earth&Sky because (as I seem to have written it at least) their partnership is beautiful but kind of messed up and I have to believe they can get a better balance back. I hope the way I’ve done it works for people.

9. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

I think 75. It was really fun to look forward and imagine a good love-and-family-filled future for them all, especially my boy who didn’t think he’d get one.

10. What fic was the most satisfying to finish writing?

Well I was hoping to say Resurface but given I haven’t yet… hmmm. I might also have said Father’s Day until I randomly started to write more of it 😅 err… what have I actually finished? Let’s say 75 cos I actually finished that! (and pretend I don’t have an idea for a follow on)

11. What fic was the most difficult to write?

Estera. Which is a strange answer in some respects as I’ve compulsively written loads of it (as above!) but well… I’ve had a bit of a crisis of confidence and hit a silly, anxious wall about writing the actual chapter that comes next in the story and thus it has hung in limbo for months. My dearest co-writer is despairing of me perhaps only marginally less than I am despairing of myself!

12. What fic was the easiest to write?

The early parts of Resurface just rushed out as fast as I could type them… it got harder as I tried to heal them from the mess I made though 🙃 More recently the Oort Jeff stuff has been the topic for the most readily flowing words.

13. What were your shortest and longest fics posted this year?

Ignoring WIP posts, shortest would be “Scott is Not Fine” which is barely more than a Drabble at 202 words.

Longest? If it needs to be entirely within the year - Resurface (49,720 & counting) but I added a little to Estera which is longest overall (72,319 posted) but that word count is shared with some other wonderful writers and is mostly 2023.

14. What were your go-to writing songs

I have a few playlists for depending on what I’m writing :)

I do listen to the OST a lot when out and about but often not when actually writing as I guess each part of it is so strongly linked to what is happening in the episodes that it is distracting if I’m writing something different. Often I get ideas by listening to something totally random. I listen to a lot of classical and it may only be a few phrases that nudge something -any kind of soprano/tenor instructment interaction (e.g. cello/violin, trumpet/french horn, flute/bassoon) immediately conjures Earth&Sky for me. 99% of my writing is with music of some kind in the background (because I usually have an earbud in) although in retrospect I might not be able to tell what it was.

15. What was the hardest fic to title?

Resurface. Because I had another title in mind but it was already the title of one of my all-time favourite fics. But then this one came to mind and fitted perfectly!

16. What's your favorite title of the year

Haha, well I like what I’ve been doing with the chapter titles of Resurface. But “An Eyebrow-Razing Incident” is probably my favourite for the pun / spoiler combo.

17. Share your favorite opening line

Virgil’s forehead sank onto the bar and squelched slightly.

18. Share your favorite ending line

A brand new score had been opened. But Virgil knew the notes now. They’d compose this next version together.

19. Share your favorite piece of dialogue

This one because I worked on it for so long to get it right. It’s by no means the only important moment between Scott and Virgil… but is the first of a few steps to sorting things out:

“And I’m… grey, then?”

“No! Not usually! You’ve always been blue, like the sky… there are so many shades of it, with hints of yellow or gold…”

“There’s a but coming, I can feel it.”

Virgil grabbed Scott’s hand again as if to reassure himself his brother wouldn’t float away before he managed to express this.

“Sometimes it’s like you fade a little.”

“I fade?”

“You try to be a lot of things, Scotty and it’s admirable, it really is, and you do it so well but sometimes I worry there isn’t enough of you left to be you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You’re blue when you laugh at your own jokes, or smotherhen us and make a leaning tower of pancake… when you beat Gordy at his own prank game or act all melodramatic when you’re smuggling in the sweets Grandma doesn’t approve of. When someone says pie and your eyes gleam and when you randomly recite Shakespeare inaccurately and out of context or run up the stairs for no reason and surprise hug Allie… those times you’re a rainbow of blues. In the field when you’re problem solving at the speed of light and oh! That time you flew Shadow just for fun you came back shining so brightly…”

Yet again at the mention of Shadow, Scott had startled but recovered quickly and deflected:

“My Shakespeare is always in context.”

“Sure it is, Scott. And it’s very YOU.”

A flicker of resolve hardened his brother’s expression and Virgil was suddenly terrified as to how his clumsy explanation could have been interpreted by someone who was already chronically shackled to the ‘brave face’ impulse…

“But Scott, listen to me, this is important.”

He waited until his brother dropped his eyes from the horizon and met his own.

“I’m not saying it’s just when you are happy, you know? When you’re worried or angry or even sick or even… no, especially when you let yourself be vulnerable for one damn second, you’re you then too.”

“Then…” Scott sagged a little and an edge of indigo desperation coloured his voice “I don’t understand what the grey thing is meant to mean!”

“The grey thing… I guess it’s how my brain interprets the way I sometimes miss you when you are right in front of me. When you get hidden by everything else you think you are supposed to be. You lead so naturally, you do it without even trying but sometimes… sometimes you put on that damn grey baldric and it smothers you.”

“But the baldric is silver. My baldric is silver to match One!”

“It used to be blue though. Blue to match you.”

20. Share your funniest line

Ooh. I don’t know if I do “lines” - most of my attempts at humour are situation or context-specific…

But I’ll go with this little section from toddler-Scotty because it still makes me chuckle:

“Dada! ‘Cotty duck in fidge. Oh no!”

The tiny child lifted his apple sauce covered hands and looked at them as if suddenly realising they were attached to his arms. Bright blue eyes gazed down at him with an expression of extreme innocence:

“Oh no! ‘Cotty all messy! Ooopsiiiieee!”

Clearly realising his father had no follow-up questions to his comprehensive situational update, Scott plunged his hand back into the dish and shoved a fistful of pie crust into his mouth.

21. What's something that surprised you while you were working on a fic? Did it change the story?

This is a tricky one because frankly everything I manage to create surprises me.

Resurface surprised me with its length. I am a sucker for detail and dialogue and combining that with the fact I had a lot to get the boys to work through… it shouldn’t have surprised me really. But it did.

22. What writing programs did you use? Did you write by hand?

By hand? Hahaha, I’d never know what I’d written!

I’m still playing the risky game and throwing things down in apple notes on iphone, although have been trying to tag them a bit now so I can actually find things. I tried google docs - it drove me crackers by messing with my punctuation although I tend to copy paste into that when I’m finished to get a word count. Tried a couple of online drafting tools but they felt over-complicated. So am still in market for a good app I guess.

23. If you had to choose one, what was THE most satisfying writing moment of your year?

In retrospect I think maybe the end of Composition. Which is funny because despite having planned it for AGES as a kind of bridge between Presence and Resurface, I rushed the last chapter out in a hurry as I’d hit the point in Resurface that refers back to it and needed to ensure all the parts of the circle were in place. But exploring how Virgil sees the world is one of my favourite things and setting that short fic in a musical context was very satisfying. And it may be cheesy but this line still makes me smile:

With a satisfied hum, Scott pressed his cheek into his head and the timid, hopeful note in Virgil’s heart swelled into a triumphant chord of determination.

24. Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

Yes. I commissioned a piece of fanart and it is beautiful and perfect and I desperately want to share it but I must not until I finish the darn story because the whole point was it was a reward for finishing (I just got it a touch early…)

SOOON THOUGH.

25. How did you recharge between fics?

What is this ‘between’ you speak of? 🧐

26. Did you create fanworks other than fic?

No, unless Tiny Tracys count 🤣

27. How many events did you take part in? (bangs, exchanges, ship weeks, zines, prompt memes, they all count!)

I’m not good at prompts with time limits, it seems. I did write a little for Fishtank Week and there was the Secret Santa of course.

28. If this were an awards show, who would you thank?

So many people, basically all of Thunderfam who have encouraged me to try something I never thought I could do. But if I start a list I know I’ll miss someone then feel bad so I’ll stick to just one shoutout to @sofasurf for constantly encouraging me in both writing and life in general and who is a most excellent co-conspirator.

29. What's left on your to-do list for 2024?

Well I WAS going to say “finish Resurface” but… *eyes calendar and sighs*

30. What would you like to write next year?

Obv finish Resurface, and then I want to find my confidence with Estera again. So many ideas for Scott & Jeff and Allie & Scott and some fish tank too… and I’d like to write more John and more Kayo… not to mention the big mad apocalyptic fic which I really need to plot out properly before doing any more with…

But probably I’ll just end up writing about the boys playing on an airport travelator or stuck at the bottom of a hole or something because sometimes the pieces I’m most proud of are the ones that come out of nowhere 🙄😅🤪

[elizabethhood]

Dear LGBTQ+ Community

I would like to preface this by stating that I have absolutely no intention of offending any of you, if I do, it is completely unintentional, please let me know what I did so that I can fix it, but please also be patient with me, I am simply a lot curious, a little confused, and possessing an intense hatred for my own ignorance in almost anything. Also, disclaimer, y'all were essentially demonized to me from the moment I was born, I never had any irl exposure to your community, all of my knowledge comes from tumblr and ao3, so, if I say something wrong, please, please be gentle?

That said, I had some questions, if any of y'all'd be ok with answering?

A) I read an article that referred to someone was both bi and lesbian, but I thought bi people were the ones who were attracted to guys and girls, and lesbians were only attracted to guys? I don't understand, you can be both?

B) I know that aro and ace are different things, but does that mean there are two entirely different fields? like you could have someone who's biromantic, but heterosexual? or vice versa?

C) How do you pronounce xe? I honestly do not know. I'd've guessed you'd pronounce it like the 'x' in Xerxes, but I know some people go by ze, so it'd make more for it to be pronounced differently, but I can't think of how?

D) I've read fics where FtM trans people broke their ribs because they wore binders too tightly/for too long. Is... is this real? Please tell me it's not real, that sounds scary dangerous, and I really don't want y'all getting hurt, please say it's an exaggeration

E) I've gotten conflicting information, if you're asexual, do you dislike sex, are you neutral about it, is it something else?

F) I've also read a thing that had an asexual character who was sexually attracted to one person they were already romantically attracted to, but isn't that demisexual?

G) For poly groups, how do break-ups work? Is there a vote? This has been keeping me up for days, I just can't think of how it'd go?

H) I think that open relationships are are supposed to be romantic for those in it, and purely sexual for the others who get involved, whereas poly relationships are both romantic and sexual, and sleeping with someone outside the group would be cheating. Could someone please confirm or correct?

I) If you are only attracted to people you have a romantic attraction towards, that means you're demi, right?

J) If every romantic relationship I take part in ends up reinforcing the fact that there is a good chance I am simply incapable of forming lasting romantic relationships, probably due to my ignorance of how to interact with people matched with my belief that it won't last anyway and the fact that there is not a single person whom I trust enough to share every side of myself, am I demi? Aro? Is it just the trust and abandonment issues mixed with unrealistic expectations? I don't think I'm asexual, but I've only ever been attracted to a couple of people I know? I still want someone and I want a relationship like ones I've seen or read about, but I'm also very much a loner? Like, I was homeschooled without extracurriculars and now I'm in college, and I don't know how to be around people? I want people, but being around them too long makes me feel like having a panic attack? Am I only getting into romantic relationships due to being starved for praise and affection? How do I know?!?!?

Sorry, that kind of devolved at the end, but, um. Yeah. If any of y'all would be willing to please help, that'd be very much appreciated. Thank you. Sorry for bugging you.

-Elizabeth

[epickiya722]

Kiya, you're the first person who I follow, who are a Yuuji & Sukuna fan but not shipping them. Like, it's so cool....Most JJK fan that I know are people who love either one of them, hate both of them, or love both of them (and must shipping them romantically)....Do you think in the end, Yuuji is the one who will kill Sukuna for good?

Thanks @epickiya722 for sharing your fanfics and many reviews and analysis (especially for BNHA & JJK). Love reading them 💐🌻🌷

I prefer tumblr then twitter. I sometimes tired to see many negative comments around fandom. You're right, Kiya,.there are many people who love to talk negatively about a certain fandom, like if you hate it that much, why not just stop watching or reading them (yes 'a certain fandom' that I mean are BNHA & JJK)......

Is that rare?! To like both characters and not ship them?

Anyways!!

To that question, I do!! I'll be honest, I think out of all the characters, it would make sense if Yuji is the one to land the final attack and ending Sukuna for good. It honestly frightens me a little that this makes it possible that some of the other characters may be put out commission. But! Let's think about it!

I apologize beforehand because I know this is going to get long!

It makes sense to me that Yuji is the one to kill Sukuna because out of the characters, who annoys Sukuna the most? Who does he view now as his "main dish" because of his unbreakable resolve? Yuji Itadori!

This kinda plays into some thoughts of mine I'm working on.

For one, I think of Yuji and Sukuna's relationship as more twisted version of Yugi Muto and Yami Yugi (to an extent, Ryou and Yami Bakura).

A while back, in this post, I talked a little about how JJK share some similarities to YGO, which apparently Gege likes, I don't know, I read a post. I believe so with the references thrown in there and again, similarities that could be coincidences.

Yuji and Yugi have similar names, spiky multicolored hair (black, pink and blond... Yuji used to be blond), they're high school students who wear blue uniforms, raised by their grandfathers who also happen to look like the spirit possessing them in some way, they stick to their morals, got possessed by a spirit with a "King" title through a cursed objects...

Both stories involve something about souls, Kenjaku rocked the Bandit Keith special, in the anime, you can see Gojo hold a DVD that looks like Bonds Beyond Time (I have a post here showing so)...

That's all I can capture, but thinking about all that I wondered "well, how funny it would be if Yuji turns out to be Sukuna's reincarnation? Like his soul reborn just like Yugi is to Yami/Atem?"

If that's the case, then for sure it would be possible for another similarity to be thrown in.

At the end of YGO, guess what happens to Yami and Yugi? Spoiler, Yugi beats Yami in a duel for Yami to pass onto the afterlife.

In a way, it was like he was putting his past self to rest.

So couldn't it be possible for Yuji to do the same to Sukuna? Put the King of Curses to rest as he should be? Sukuna was reawaken into an era he does not belong to. It's something I don't see talked about a lot. A clash of generations.

Think of Gojo and the Higher-Ups. Gojo doesn't like their ways of handling the Jujutsu world. Another example, Kirara's technique is more "new age" which the HUs don't care for.

With Sukuna, in 248, he's used his opponents being people who fight him to prove something or fearing him. Now? Yuji breaks that mold. He's not someone fighting Sukuna to entertain him or even fears him. He's mad at him, he hates him and doesn't seek for his praise or to please him. He has accepted that he is a Jujutsu sorcerer.

Sukuna was used to his "old" ways, that he didn't account for Yuji to come at him with a different or "new" vibe.

So yeah, Yuji being the one to kill Sukuna would be fitting in my opinion. He was created to be Sukuna's vessel, but who says he couldn't also have been created to be Sukuna's threat? I mean, it is funny that Yuji was able to suppress Sukuna with ease.

Okay, that was long! 😆

**

Seriously, it's like do some of these people ever enjoy anything and want to talk about those things?

I get not enjoying something, but the endless cycle of complaining that "this chapter is too short", "that wasn't how I wanted it go", even "break again"!

Like, damn! Is there anything in the chapter you did like? Oh, now writers and artists can't take breaks? Wonder why we have strikes...

I'm not always optimistic, but I like some enjoyment in my life, too. Post some funny memes, write about why you like a character, ramble about a ship fic you like ans trust me you will feel so much better, folks.

Also, thank you, Anon!! 🌸💜💫

I don't think of myself as a bigtime blog with analysis and theory posts, but just someone who likes to share her many thoughts. I don't except anyone to agree with me or anything. I just have thoughts that I just post.

[castlebyersafterdark]

“

As I got older I realised to pick my battles with what would bring actual joy to my life. Sometimes after sharing the thing it didnt bring the happiness I thought it would - it was almost like I was imagining an idealised version of them who enjoyed things the way I did, and all I had to do was get them to watch it. But I realised that that wasn’t always who they were. And sometimes it was me needing to look at why I so desperately wanted to share it with them. Maybe there was something else unfulfilled there, like needing different friends, or creating something for myself, I dunno. so yeah it sucks but as Im older I realise that I dont always need to share the things I love with everyone to enjoy them. Sometimes I love to keep things just for me and it can make them even more special”

Great thoughts anon! Adding to this convo, I think I have this pathological need to share things with others or it’s like it doesn’t exist and I don’t exist? Like if it just stays in my brain, what’s the point? If a tree falls in a forest, etc. I guess it’s sort of an evangelistic impulse. Whether it’s a new article or a new show or a new book or a new song, the world has to know!

And it’s like that desperation I place on friends or family around me as guinea pigs, even if it’s not fair. But at the same time, I’m also used to not being heard or validated for my nerdy interests, so that creates a void that I desperately try to fill. But I think that’s where social media for weirdos like Tumblr and heavily tailored social media like TikTok and its FYP comes into play. It creates. playground for validation

The quiet virtue of just enjoying something sounds like a healthier way of living, though

YES!! A little of this, a little of that - it goes back to our very long conversations months ago here about the purpose and need for art and creation and what that means for different people. Do those who create art do so to just personally enjoy, can artists reconcile themselves with self-expression and solitude or is interaction and appreciation the ultimate goal? It was very nuanced and one of those discussions where it's fine to hold conflicting viewpoints and have different needs and to wade in the nuance nuance nuance.

I think I have this pathological need to share things with others or it’s like it doesn’t exist and I don’t exist? Like if it just stays in my brain, what’s the point?

THAT is so poignant as to WHY I think so many of us turn to fandom???? Like - what the hell? What are we doing here?! Oh, hello others like me, so crazed and feeling some sort of emotion for a television show that I must blog and scroll and chat sometimes hours every day about something I don't just like - I'm possessed by. So I guess I have always, personally, used fandom in place of turning to friends or family - for some things where the passion and importance spilled over into something not to be contained. Of course other instances were shared, but fandom supplemented where I knew real life wasn't going to be adequate to where my brain buzzed too loudly.

And of course, with many things, taking the pointed time to carve out the solitude and quiet enjoyment, keeping some things for only yourself - of course a dash of that is healthy, as well. Independence AND community, in doses that make sense for each of us❤️

[annemissingshoe]

Some of my WH aus

—————————————————————————

Psychic and Esper Au: this one of my au, it’s somewhat based on Saiki k, not going to be completely following what happening in the Anime. Might change something. I made a Julie focused au because there are so many aus focuses on Wally, I also thought it would be fun to have Julie be Saiki because why not.

I have no idea what I’m doing with this au anymore but here we are. :0

—————————————————————————

Concealed/Eclipse Au: You can see a little of Eclipse sally in the last image. This is more of a Sally foucued Au, In this au there is an entity that is possessing the puppets and the entity likes to prank/play with the puppets, which is a inconvenience to the puppets because they go go around doing things that causing small problems or making them question their sanity. (Also @kursein has guess correctly on which one is Eclipse Sally) Made this au because of the page seen in this post, kinda just got the idea for it

—————————————————————————

Altered Timelines au: Basically the backrooms, the wh cast fall through a crack in their universe, ending up in an altered timeline where the cast are different in appearance and maybe personality. (And some don't even exist..)

Yeah I didn't want to rewrite what my friend wrote, I just copied and pasted what they said about our au.

————————————————————————— One of my Multiversal au, Lacuna!Julie: Julie would always leave her au to interact with other aus, one day when Julie came back she found out her au had been destroyed while she was gone, Julie and Poppy are the only survivors of their au. The other characters are dead, she goes to visit her friend’s graves, she knows they're gone but she stil goes to visit to talk to them about current events. Julie tries her best to help others.

I made this au because I wanted an au just for the WH au multiverse. I made more multiversal characters over time. Go there to see the blog. This is just my multiverse au honestly, I saw everyone else making one and I decided to join too. Adding on there are other multiversers that I have made beside Lacuna and her Poppy, some of them do have ask blogs. While others don’t have one yet or won’t have one at all.

—————————————————————————

Ascended Sally au: Sally has ascended and trying to force help the others ascend too, unfortunately they won't let her help them. They keep locking themselves inside their houses during the night and don't go into the forest anymore, but that's ok she will find a way to help them ascend too. The others are try to find a way to bring Sally back to normal but they’re running out of hope.

—————————————————————————

This is my Main blog, I’m more active over there

Annemissingshoe is my secondary account and I’m not on here that often anymore, you can ask things on the blog below instead since it’s a side blog on my main account, I’ll see way fast than I would on my secondary blog.

keep in mind this my aus, even tho it's based on the og Welcome home, it has nothing to do with the actual canon story of welcome home. Just a couple of aus I made, that's it.

Boundaries and Rules

-fanart is allowed as long it's sfw, if you want to draw fanart go ahead (gore is fine too) and also tag me in the post too, I would love to see the fanart:3

-drawing my aus interacting with other aus is allowed, also with your characters

-shipping my aus with your characters or other aus is allowed it’s depends on what au and character just ask me first before doing that, but Appesect and anything like it is not allowed tho

-character.Ais: Nah.

-have any questions about any of my aus or about go ahead ask, I don't mind answering questions, would love to talk about any of my aus

—————————————————————————

About me

-artist

-I have some ocs that I will post here

-fandoms: SU, WH,UT, Omori, Amphibia, Toh, KATAOWB

-joined Tumblr during July

Main Tumblr account/blog: @/annelostshoe

[visualnovellover]

Sorry to bother you but these things in dol are now scratching my brain and literally won't stop until I tell someone or have my answers/srs anywho you know about the Ivory wraith and also the intiate so basically did you know that Sydney actually met the ivory wraith and were probably (I think but they did encountered each other I heard this from someone on tumblr that this one line from the with that concerned Sydney although I thought it was the intiate luckily it ain't cause I don't like to think that intiate is pretty much a girl despite my pc being male so yeah anywho so basically the line is like "I was her/his only friend" the ivory wraith says these lines and pronouns depending on sydneys gender) oh and I also think that Robin has also encountered or talked to the ivory wraith?? Idk I forgot, there was a Q&A vrel answered to someone concerning ivory wraith and Robin or something idk I'm forgetful as fuck💁🏻‍♀️oh and im also pretty much guessing that Sydney has met the ivory wraith when they stopped being friends with kylar since kylar was Sydneys only friend meaning that maybe the ivory wraith started to befriend them? Oh and about the intiate is the intiate always a gurl or does it depend on the players gender? I can never tell since there are theories/canonically implied that pc actually is the intiate and I don't like that fact that pc past life was a girl despite my pc being a boy but anywho do you think that the intiate was both raised with acotyle and haven't learned anything about sex but were just trained to do things? Or were they childhood friends? Was the intiate and intiate from the temple or the elk? We already know about the wraith although I can't tell we're they actually human before? Like you know acotyle when the wraith was still alive or were they always some kind sentient being? Is the wraith trying to become one with pc? And in the corruption route of Sydney where you both do the baby making ritual in the temple room do you think that maybe it's the auriga or whatever dark lord there is there in dol possessing Sydney? Since it's canon that Sydney was pretty much being controlled by something in that roo, oh and the melody that pc hears from the ivory wraith, sewers or from Sydney do you think that song was from the choirs that pc heard or joined in their past life as the intiate ? And do you think maybe Morgan is somewhat related to the elk, auriga or the temple? Since if you get possessed by the ivory wraith at the blood moon and have encountered Morgan, Morgan will tell you to fight it because they know that the pc is possessed by it, I have no idea if Morgan actually do help us out though, never tried it only saw someone else did and since you hear a familiar tune in the sewers maybe Morgan was once a part of the temple or elks or something like that and since Ivory wraith contains the souls of multiple other sacrifices, why is acotyle the only body you can see but not the other sacrifices? Were the other sacrifices failures? Or was the Ivory wraith the finale of the ritual like you know they sacrificed multiple people and then used the body of the wraith as their soul holder or something? Or wether or not the other sacrifices were failures are they tentacles or arms of the ivory wraith? (I wish ivory wraith has preg content so I can impreg them but I can't 😭😔I can only get impreg by them) oh and do you think that maybe pc might be part of the ivory wraith? Do you also think that maybe the ivory wraith had a crush on the intiate? (Oh and another thing I need to confirm is if the intiate was really the one who gave the ivory wraith the necklace? since I pretty much speed read the whole schism event but kept on hearing from people that the intiate was the one who gave IW the necklace which make the necklace very precious to them) sorry for making this very long I just hope this makes atleast a little bit of sense to you 😅

anonanon calm down, i just finished the schism event (which made me cry) and fair warning I'm not very knowledgeable yet about dol as a whole and the characters so take everything i say with a grain of salt. And boy was I brain storming with this questions anon! (Spoilers for Schism Event)

Firstly! I think the Initiate's gender is just based on the RNG or it's a parallel of the Acolyte! Because in my playthrough the Initiate is a man while my PC was a girl! And Ivory Wraith has boobs in this save btw

Onto your question about the Initiate and the Acolyte being raised together, I'll say they weren't raised together. We don't really have enough knowledge about what kind of relationship the Acolyte and the Initiate had, but it's something fond/intimate enough for the Acolyte to see PC as the Initiate. And like I talked before in my previous post the Initiate went through the trial of purity, which you can do if you aren't a virgin anymore. Which means the Initiate wasn't a virgin unlike the Acolyte who was still a virgin.

There's no content about who gave the necklace to Ivory Wraith, it's unknown where the necklace came to be except the fact it's IW's most valuable treasure. So we can't say it was the Initiate who gave them the necklace, you're probably confusing the golden bracelets and anklets the Acolyte gave away that was given by the Bishop.

Like Purityguy said in discord, the Ivory Wraith is not a person. It's just a vessel that inhibited in the Acolyte's dying body. But the Acolyte was human before their death during the Schism event. And no the other sacrifices aren't the IW's tentacles or extra arms, all the other sacrifices are inside it but only the memories are present in Ivory Wraith's mind. And the other tentacles and slimes we saved in the Elk compound or gave birth to is it's children.

Now onto Sydney and IW- anon im gonna tell you this in advance but Idk shit about what kind of interaction this two have.

We don't exactly know what possessed Sydney in the Rite of Defilment. But maybe it was Auriga, or not who knows. We just know that this event adds up to hard world corruption in Virgo's statue.

But you should know that in a post I reblogged talked about how Sydney was in the asylum! And is probably one of the reason why Sydney has some beef with Harper.

And I don't know if IW befriended Sydney as it mostly stays in the lake unless it's a blood moon. And sydney didn't have exactly a proper friend at all which is why they opened up easily to PC.

I'm not exactly sure if PC is the reincarnation of the Initiate or just has the same face/appearance of the Initiate, so I can't say why the PC know or is familiar with the tune. The PC has so much lore with the town's history that I'm not even sure how they know that.

Talking about the tune, we currently know that Jordan learned the song from Sydney's other parent but idk about Morgan since we don't exactly have proper knowledge about what became to them. There are talks about Morgan who used to be a noble/aristocrat so maybe they had a connection with the Children of Auriga or a part of it just like Kylar's parents who unfortunately got punished by the temple when they found out. oof.

We also got some new lore about the Dark Elk in Avery's date and god was that traumatizing.

Also The Children of Auriga and the Dark Elk are the same thing, just different names they go around.

And I hate to mention this but there's probably not a chance for IW getting pregnant content, puri talked about it in the discord and apparently vrel didn't wanted IW to get pregnant sooooo yeah... my condolences anon.

ANYWAYYYYYY- hope that answers some of your questions???? I'm still new in this game and fandom so I'm just confused as the next person on some of the contents.

[emdubyaz]

@felixcosm I’m sorry tumblr deleted my answer when I wanted to add tags idk what happened but here we go again I guess,,,,

Like I said I’m really the wrong person to ask for book recs bc I only ever read fucked up and niche stuff that you definitely need to check the CW for first (and a lot of queer fantasy like these are all queer!)

But sure let me give you a tour through some of my fav book series!!!

The raven cycle/ the dreamer trilogy (4 books + an extra 3 (plus a short story)): CW (bc there are a few) my favourite book series,,, it’s all about vibes and the connection between family, friends, the world and your place in it. Ronan Lynch is my absolute fav character of all time omg there is no one like him!!!! 😭😭😭

some of my fav quotes:

“While I'm gone," Gansey said, pausing, "dream me the world. Something new for every night.”

“If you never saw the stars, candles were enough.”

“They were always walking away from him. But he never seemed able to walk away from them.”

“Trees in your eyes ... Stars in your heart.”

All for the game (4 books as of now but there will be another one): read the CW I’m so serious! this book series is like crack to me,,, Neil is such a little shit and funny main character! The way Andrew and Neil invented consent is revolutionary! Also heartbreaking twin brother relationship that has me on my knees (Aaron you deserve so much better I love you baby boy) also fucked up sport that is connected to the mafia (and so is every second character) last book is from Jean’s and Jeremy’s pov and that’s such a slay too tbh 🙂‍↔️

some book moments I always think about:

“You know, I get it. Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you’re worth a damn off the court— yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time. I know it’s not entirely your fault that you are mentally unbalanced and infected with these delusions of grandeur, and I know you’re physically incapable of holding a decent conversation with anyone like every other normal human being can, but I don’t think any of us should have to put up with this much of your bullshit. Pity only gets you so many concessions, and you used yours up about six insults ago. So please, please, just shut the fuck up and leave us alone.”

“Who said 'please' that made you hate the word so much?" Andrew gazed at him in silence for a minute. "I did”

“Yes or no?” "It's always yes with you."

captive prince trilogy (3 books + short stories): CW again a lot of people don’t like the slave themes in the first book but then love the second and third which makes me think that they didn’t understand the story at all. the book with the main characters who’s horny despite all the shit that’s going on, Damen the man that you are!!! ALSO BITCHY BLOND WHO RUNS THE WORLD LAURENT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH (no fr Laurent is out here playing real life chess and Damen just stands by like “whatever you want sweetheart”)

these books are so unserious sometimes:

Laurent could inspire homicidal tendencies simply by breathing.

“Is there anyone at this court who isn't my enemy?" “Not if I can help it," Laurent said.”

Dark Rise trilogy (2 books and the third comes out soon,,,,, hopefully the cliffhanger is killing me): another book with a bitchy blond (James alone is enough reason to read this book) I left work early to continue reading this book and I think that all you need to know about this book! Also Will has never done anything wrong I love him so much!!! Some of the organizations in this frustrated me a lot tho like why are you so stupid????? (They deserved their fate I’m not even sorry)

this book has all the right themes and messages:

“I think what people were is less important than what they are. And what people are is less important than what they could be.”

“My whole life, all anyone's ever wanted was to possess me," said James. "The only one who ever set me free was you.”

“Kindness is never a mistake," said the Elder Steward. "Somewhere in the heart it is always remembered.”

Spell bound (stand alone): this is such a comfort read!!! So cozy! Enby representation around every corner, a door mat that likes to trip people, boy without magic learning how to use magic, emotionally unavailable person turns into a cat and snuggles with the love interest, THE POWER OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP

the starless sea (stand alone): do you love books and reading? Then this is for you! Everything is connected and I mean EVERYTHING. So magical and cool and beautiful written. Had me spinning in circles while I was trying to connect all the dots (I didn’t connect shit)

this book speaks to me personally:

“Not all stories speak to all listeners, but all listeners can find a story that does, somewhere, sometime. In one form or another.”

“But the world is strange and endings are not truly endings no matter how the stars might wish it so.”

“A boy at the beginning of a story has no way of knowing that the story has begun.”

“Having a physical reaction to a lack of book is not unusual.”

“There is no fixing. There is only moving forward in the brokenness.”

I’ll stop here bc I fear I won’t shut up if I don’t. Yeah these are just some of my favs I do have more but I think these are also the ones you see me post about the most!

(sorry again that the other one was deleted, I tried my best to recreate it as best as I could!)

[astro-royale]

「Elvis Presley: Moon+Venus sign analysis

Hello my Royalties (followers of my blog will now be referred to as Royalties) because you’re a one of a kind STAR (Astro means star) ;))

Have you guessed I have a Leo in Venus placement…

I will be starting a series where I will be analysing the moon + venus signs of male celebrities and their dating track record..

I believe by doing so we can truly understand certain placements and we can learn how to now interpret them not just metaphorically but quite literally in our personal lives.. we can learn what to stay away from, potentially save our lives. Or we can find our best match

And what better way to start than with the King of Rock n Roll… Elvis Presley

Elvis Presley was a Pisces Moon with A Capricorn Venus…

Now the moon sign in a man’s chart tells us what kind of personality a man is typically drawn to

And the venus sign informs us on preferences in regards to appearance…

His Pisces moon in 2 degrees of Taurus indicates he had a preference for mysterious, withdrawn and shy women, women which seem to be in need of protection.

The 2 degrees in taurus also points to women who can easily be possessed as well as women who he could easily secure and guide, women that he could invest in.

Which is definitely very true as he is known for his questionable relationship to Priscilla Presley. He pretty much guided her into being his “perfect girl” , shaping her personal style, taste in music, what she wore.. and she was pretty much hidden in his home for a big part of their relationship until they got married.

Even with his other girlfriends, they were all very easily influenced and able to manipulated and shaped due to their young age, which goes back to that 2* degrees Taurus of stability and investing into something so it grows over time… a little creepy but yeah I’m pretty much just quoting history.

I was inspired to write this post because I have recently watched a series on Prime with his ex girlfriends talking about their experience of him which made me want to ,,, look at his chart.

The 2* in taurus also points to women from the countryside or women with very simple backgrounds which again is very true in his case… and for his girlfriends which had a bit more status, well they were usually involved in some kind of art but SPECIFICALLY singing with that Taurus because Taurus rules the throat. And that was again true.

Now his capricorn venus shows us that he would prefer a mature look on a woman in terms of her style, women wearing leather and dressed in darker shades, also somewhat traditional, also preference for a darker hair colour.

Example: He made Priscilla dye her hair so it was darker

With this placement being in 29 degrees in Leo it does have a grandiosity to it, okay, so this could mean women with grande hairstyles (Priscilla was really known for that beehive). And the 29 degrees in Leo also points to colours that really stand out even if they were in darker shades, it could just be colours with depths to them like purple, blues etc and it could also mean mixing shiny details with darker colours, like gold on black and so on. Which ya know, Elvis was quite notorious for his flashy outfits,,

Priscilla did state that despite her being underage, Elvis would make her wear mature and sexy clothes. Well.. that goes back to that 29 degrees in Leo. There’s a big contrast between that Capricorn venus and Leo degree because it denotes that he likes a woman who embodies traditional values but still appears flashy and is in the spotlight.

Hey guys! Please keep in mind a lot of time and energy goes into this research :) I love being able to share it with everyone and I want to keep sharing my knowledge unconditionally which is why I haven’t created a Tumblr+.

Consider supporting me by booking a Tarot Reading or leaving a tip by clicking the Tip Button

IG: astr0royale

I also do pick a card readings on YouTube and it would mean the world if you checked that out

Thank you and much love to you all.

[unbrcakablc-hcart]

What even happened? Who did what?

God, okay, so. This might sound pretty stupid. The first thing I think I should say is that this happened in a group chat off of Tumblr; I don't think many of these people have blogs. It was run/created by... uh. Someone I thought was a friend but I guess ain't anymore. Anyway.

Secondly is that this truly started off in such a dumbass way.

Like. Talking about some real mundane shit. I was essentially going "I wanna swim I've only done that like 3 times tops in my life because I don't want to dirty the water that other people where I'm from could be drinking" because. You know. I live in a desert.

This gets long so. Be ready for that.

tl;dr: lady wants to study my sisters and therefore me by proxy. I don't take kindly to that. She calls me weak and stupid and naive for not keeping my mouth shut in a place where I had originally felt reasonably comfortable with people. Only 4-5 people argue with her and everyone else just tries to act like nothing happened, and one person insisted that I should just try to find common ground and get along. She doubles down on her bullshit and I decide this is a load of shit and leave.

This person whose name I still don't know, so I guess I'm going to just call her Ox because that's the emoji she was using. She pointed out that I can't really be dirtying the water any more than any other creature that gets in it, which... like, yeah, fair, except the point is that I live(d) on a desert planet with very little water and there really ISN'T that much in the way of wildlife on No Man's Land.

Which I know she wouldn't know, because just as I know nothing about her, she knows nothing about me. So anyway. I explain that. And I also make the dumbass decision to mention that my sisters are generally responsible for producing a vast majority of the potable water on the planet.

Because by this point I've been pretty open about being a Plant, right? I don't really talk about it frequently because it's just not something that comes up often, but I'm not hiding it on purpose or anything either. It gets kind of tiring trying to explain the whole thing anyway.

I realize I've made a mistake because Ox talks about how sentient beings producing water is fascinating, and I'm a little on edge, so I go, ahahaha, I guess I probably shouldn't really talk about my sisters.

And Ox is like, "That's not the wrong way to go about it. If you want to protect something, it's best to keep it hidden. Lock it away, never to see the light of day. It's like the advice I'd given to that girl and her Aubade."

Don't know what the hell she's talking about, and I probably overreacted a bit by going okay, noted, won't share anything about myself again, because I literally did not ask for that advice, and do not care for it.

She replies, "It's foolish to announce you have something unique, don't you understand. Unwanted attention, conflict. If you're not cut out for defending it, you should simply lock it away and keep your head down."

Which, again, sure, except it's not like I'm entirely fucking braindead, I know that. That's how I've lived my whole life so far! But I don't care for the implication that I should also be locked away and keep my head down and hold my tongue, because, you know, like my sisters. I Am A Plant.

And this guy I was talking to, I'll call him Columbi, he also picks up pretty quick that this is fucked up and he's like. "People aren't possessions you can cage." Like a decent person, you know?

So Ox tells him that's a naive way of thinking.

Which pisses me 'n Columbi off. Obviously.

And she goes on to say, "It's simple to "lock away" a person. Downplay their capabilities, have them keep their heads down too. Strict rules about who they can and can't talk to, what they can or can't talk about. An open prison. Even if you don't lock them in a room by themselves, you can still keep them sheltered away from harm. The more open you are about their uniqueness, the more they become exposed, the more likely you are to draw unwanted attention. And if they're particularly important or special… you simply run the risk of losing them altogether, if you're not strong enough to protect them."

Which Columbi points out is abuse. Which I recognize pretty quickly as something Nai wanted to do to me to keep me safe, which wasn't what I wanted at all, because ultimately he and I both would ideally like to live without having to pretend that we're something we're not for our own safety, and I thought in a group chat full of people from other universes, I wouldn't have to worry so much about this shit.

I point out that it's real easy to be cruel and that I love (sarcasm) how she thinks the non-naive thing is to be an abusive shithead.

Ox says, "Of course. It's simplicity itself. But if you're powerless to take care of your most precious attachments, you scarcely have little other choice."

Which I disagree with. Of course. I think there are PLENTY of other choices that don't involve that kind of cruelty. And I snark that oh, I see, you're just as powerless yourself, aren't you?

And she goes, "You seem to believe I'm speaking from a place of experience. Which, you may have been right so many decades ago."

So what I get from this is that she's basically talkin' out her ass.

She goes on to say, "I'm quite proud of the strength I've cultivated. I simply cannot condone the actions of those who would brag about their unique abilities or their special treasures without the capability to back them up. Truthfully, your reaction may have been the right one. If you think you're simply too weak to protect your attachments, your possessions, you're simply better off keeping them to yourself and locking them away."

For the record, my reaction has nothing to do with whether I'm too weak to protect the people I care about or not. In my opinion, that's missing the point entirely, which is that I shouldn't fucking HAVE to. Which I guess makes me stupid, weak, and naive.

I'm also pretty sure that I could hand her ass to her, but again, not my point, and it's another thing I feel like I shouldn't have to prove to anyone. But I do tell her that if she gets close to me or anyone else that I care about, that I'll put her out of all of our miseries.

And this is when things start to, in my opinion, get worse.

To summarize at this point: random stranger tells me I'm stupid, weak, and naive for sharing information about myself and being uncomfortable with the response she gave me, after quite a few people pointed out that's just Not Something You Should Say To Someone.

Only three people - two of whom are friends of mine that I know in person, one of whom is a stranger - stand up for me and go this is fucked up. A fourth person is saying this is fucked up but I think she's missing the point but she's also a friend of mine and I guess right now she's okay.

I leave to try to cool off. It's not really that successful but whatever. Everyone just acts like this lady didn't just say some fucked up shit.

Two 'n a half hours later this other gal(?) named Roon says, "While we're all together like this, wouldn't it be best if we tried to get along?"

One of my friends asks how she suggests that to happen, given the circumstances.

Roon answers, "Hmm... I suppose I'm not the best person to ask about this. But it might work to establish some common ground, at least. That might be a little difficult in a space like this, but I'm sure it's possible."

Which I take to mean as, "I don't understand what the problem is, why don't you just be the bigger person and be understanding?"

Because like. How else am I supposed to interpret that.

And because I feel like no one is really understanding why I'm so damn upset, I try to spell it out, and I explain, "All I really wanted was to feel like I could be open about myself and try to make connections with people, only to be in no uncertain terms that I am weak, stupid, and naive for doing so. Right now it feels like my options are to either leave, or to stay and say nothing and lie and lie and lie and say nothing of any real substance and pretend that's fine with me. Given my options, I'd rather tell y'all that it's been real, and that I'm going to spend my time with people I know give a shit about me and don't want me to hide everything about myself. I shouldn't have to fucking prove a goddamn thing to be worthy of the luxury of comfort. Because at the moment, I don't particularly want to be open and establish common ground when it'll be seen as stupid and naive."

Roon says, "I can't stop you from doing that instead, and neither should I. I just wanted to float a second opinion~"

Which. Again. Kind of pisses me off because again, the way I'm reading this, I feel kind of like she thinks I'm overreacting, and that I should just accept the way I've been spoken to by someone who is a stranger to me, who expressed some interest in studying/experimenting on my sisters and by proxy me.

Three hours later, Ox comes back, and instead of even just apologizing insincerely to me, she says, "Apologizing doesn't undo the fact that it's been said, nor do I mean to act like I didn't mean it. If you're strong enough to protect the things and people you care about, by all means. But backing down the second someone makes a comment about it implies to me that you're uncertain if you could. Of course, I even think you're being defensive about it for naught. You are but lines of words upon this relic's slab. I can't even guarantee you're real, or if you're just a fabrication by the relic to amuse me."

The fact that she doubled down on all of her bullshit was the final straw for me, especially with being told that I should try to find common ground and "just get along", so I decide that I've had enough of all this shit, that I don't have to deal with this and that I'm under no obligation whatsoever to prove myself, and I have no interest in trying to convince someone who isn't even sure I'm a real person to give me basic decency, so I left the group chat pretty much immediately after that.

And now everything just really fuckin' hurts emotionally and it's intense enough that it's affecting me physically in a lot of ways and while I could have been kinder and more polite in the beginning, I really do not think that would have improved anything, and I still am under the opinion that I did nothing wrong and definitely did nothing to warrant being treated like that, and finding that a lot of people I considered close friends didn't even want to say anything! Fucking sucked!

I know I shouldn't really be surprised, but I am, because I thought things could be different. Better. And... well. Guess things weren't as good as I thought they were.

So. Super cool. Loved that.

[reminiscentreader]

@nqds you thought I wouldnt actually do it 🤭😘

Reasons why I love nads (500 words) (actually 611 but who cares)

Ok so firstly the reasons I’m writing this is to a) spite nads and b) because I love her, I really really don’t know where to start with you nads i srsly love you so so much but I guess I’m breaking down into extreme detail my favorite things about you, i guess I’ll start with how beautiful you are and get into the deeper stuff later, first of all you have the most beautiful eyes ever, there brown colour just has something so comforting about them that makes me feel so safe and happy, I’d do anything to see them in real life one day, or to hug you, I don’t really mind I’ll take either, but your hair looks so shiny?!? Like it looks so smooth and amazing, my ratty hair could never. Ok now I’ve talked about how amazingly beautiful you are I want to talk about how happy you make me, you honestly make me so so happy nads, whenever we talk I have the biggest most stupidest grin on my face ever, you’d probably say I’m pathetic for wanting for you to love me but idc because I love you and you make me so so happy, you deserve to be loved, not just loves, but you deserve everything from a hot chocolate and a snuggly blanket to a perfect life, In my eyes you are quite literally an angel in disguise, kind of like my own personal angel though, anyway next I’ve compiled a list of song lyrics I’d like to dedicate to you, my little Christmas tree:

‘Long live all the mountains we moved I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.”

“But if god forbid fate should step in, and force us into a goodbye, if you have children some day, when they point to the pictures, please tell them

My name’

‘To you I can admit, that I’m just to soft for all of it’

‘We survived the great war’

‘You’ve been stressed out lately yeah me too’

‘I’m a fire and I’ll keep your brittle heart warm’

‘Family that I chose’

Ok that bit of my speech was done, now for the really soppy cheesy bit, I love you so so much, you are quite literally the best friend I’ve ever had, you make me happy and I feel safe when I talk to you, there’s not a lot of people in my life who I can talk to, definitely not any people I’d talk to the way I talk to you, I don’t know how you put up with my sensitive bullshit all the time, and my unfunny jokes, and my random rants, and my horrible writing skills and punctuation, but you do, you do all the time ans you never ever complain, have I ever told you that I read your blog like a morning newspaper, every morning when I wake up, the first thing I do is go onto to tumblr and like all the posts you made while I was asleep, plus ur so cool I don’t know what possessed you to become friends with someone like me but I’m so so so glad you did, I have never ever loved someone as much as I love you, you can call this the cringiest thing you’ve ever seen but idc because you need this, I want nothing more than for you to be happy, you don’t even need to love me as much as I love you, but you will always be my best friend, my little Christmas tree, my nadsies, I love so so much <3