#something is clearly wrong here

[thatbitch151]

I sure would love if people stopped looking at all that’s wrong with my body that clearly matches up with POTS and EDS and saying “oh! You’re just anxious and fat! Here take a vitamin and your none stop pain of at least 5 years will go away :)”

Fuck off. Vitamins aren’t going to get rid of my chronic back and knee pain or constantly high resting heart rate bitch. Maybe listen to what I’m actually saying for once instead of looking at my anxiety and weight and ignoring my actual lives experience.

[atopvisenyashill]

i was thinking more about characters Performing Gender, but not necessarily Transgressing Gender. I wound up focusing on Ned and Sansa bc I feel like I understand them the most but-

Sansa as a hostage is imo the most obvious (bc it’s so well done) moment of someone clearly Performing Gender but not being transgressive in that performance. Which isn’t to say it’s not a complicated performance; it’s a fine line Sansa walks between weaponizing her gender to protect herself without seeming too fake. She’s trying to placate the Lannisters by playing the perfect, dedicated, air headed betrothed because it’s the only defense she has - if she outwardly rebels, she will be punished in a likely violent and/or sexual way (which isn’t even conjecture - when she says “or maybe he’ll give me yours” Joffrey has her struck with an armored hand). She’s not quite successful in being convincing but that’s because it’s a rather extreme situation; despite no one believing her, she does make herself seem meek and stupid enough that no one suspects she’s plotting to escape with Dontos until she’s well away from KL. The fact that she even has Dontos to confide in is because of Sansa’s relationship with gender! When she saves him, she covers her rebellious slip by playing up Joffrey’s intelligence & his role as King; she reaches for “tools” of her gender AND of ~proper manhood~ to save a life and herself from another beating. Her retreats into the godswood and silence are very much Sansa attempting to recharge from these draining interactions, the same way a knight would need to stop and eat and rest after a fight. She is fighting, constantly, by forcing herself to stay within the narrow confines of a specific type of gender performance as a way of shielding herself from harm.

Ned yelling at Cat is another big one, and I’ve seen the scene referred to as Ned using his patriarchal power to scare Cat, which is a great description. It feels like a Performance because Ned is putting on this terrifying Lord Stark mask in an attempt to get Catelyn to stop asking about Jon (and Lyanna). This is not how he usually acts with those he loves! When Ned is with His People, he is welcoming of questions, curiosity, emotion, even transgressive thought (to a point! the idea that Ned is a feminist because he lets Arya learn to fight is Not accurate but you can’t deny he allows significantly more flexibility wrt gender expression than most of the fathers we meet in this series. the bar is in hell tho). Yet when Cat asks him about Jon’s mother, Ned scares her so well she stops asking & still remembers the moment bitterly over a decade later. And if that snippet we see through Bran’s eyes of Ned praying that Cat will forgive him does come after she asks (like it’s suspected), it’s clear not only that this is a performance he’s putting on & weaponizing against Cat, it’s one he does not like using as a weapon against someone he is close to. After using the power his gender gives him to cause harm, he retreats to the godswood and silence to pray and rest, much like Sansa. A spiritual cleanse, the way a soldier may pray after battle, to reset and reconnect Being A Proper Man to Being A Kind Man.

I think there’s something interesting in that two of the characters most widely defined by how well they adhere to Westerosi gender norms both dislike feeling like they had to weaponize their gender. They are exhausted by the performance, because it’s a performance. This isn’t Sansa getting excited over tourneys, or Ned teaching his sons to fight; it’s toxic masculinity, it’s structural misogyny. It’s something they’re good at, excel at, and connected to something they enjoy but when it’s paired with violence, whether done by Ned or done to Sansa, it crosses over in their minds from an innate part of themselves (The Gender) to a performance necessary due to survival (The Gender Role). And that after these performances, both retreat to nature & god as a way of resting and cleansing from the experience.

[kanjichris]

"why don't you want him to know how much you love him?" "that's a little personal. he knows." "uh-huh."

[ilynpilled]

i truly do find it kinda silly when ppl dont grasp that u cannot act like the narcissistic and self-absorbed behavior thats present in lannisters contradicts deeply rooted and intense self-hatred or low self-esteem. like the former doesnt at all dispute the latter lol it showcases it more than anything honestly

[72graves]

I've been wracking my brain trying to find out who exactly Detective Noel might be and I think I have a vague hand wavy idea.

I know people want it to be Parker, Kayne, or even the KIY but I think Arthur would have recognized Parker's voice even if John struggled to recognize him, Kayne was pointed out to have never known about the lighter, and the King seems like a long shot, but not altogether impossible. However!

Way back in season 1 we learned that the book that had once held John was actually addressed to Roland Cummings, a retired private investigator who owned 13 Mosby Avenue (Arthur and Parker's office) and as of now is MIA after the police found the body of his wife in the freezer and the neighbors suspected he fled to Canada (Part Two: The Missing Girl). He's also the father of Amanda Cummings, one of the missing girls who was later killed by the King (because of Arthur, whoops). Now, his office was leased out to Elijah Strong and his partner, Teddy Caine before being taken over by Arthur and Parker. Elijah had committed suicide in prison and we later find out that the Butcher was the one who actually killed him. As of right now we have no definitive answer as to what became of Teddy Caine.

Arthur's engraved lighter came from the desk of their office.

My reach is that Detective Noel is either Roland Cummings or (less so) Teddy Cain. I'm leaning more towards Cummings simply because he had seemed the most knowledgeable about The Horrors™️ and was in fact sort of the catalyst to the entire series being the original receiver for John's book. And it's also possible he and Arthur never really met. It would also make sense as to why he's working under a different name because he would still be under suspicion after what happened with his family near Arkham. Teddy Caine I'm less sure about because all we know is that he worked at the office for a time and had a run-in with the Butcher.

Detective Noel could also literally be none of these people or someone else entirely and I'm just thinking too hard. But ooh the possibilities! They make me [stick figure gore]

[dylanconrique]

"hyacinth, i do not think penelope can breathe" → "i cannot breathe" + the clock chiming after penelope passes out, ergo.... she does indeed actually stop breathing.

[hotasfahrenheit]

okay listen. obviously there's no preview the preview wasn't on iQiyi for the finale of My Stand In yet, and i wouldn't watch it even if there was because this one i want to go into blind, i've mostly been off tumblr today so i haven't seen any other speculation or discussion yet, and i mean obviously book readers know what's going on or what's probably going on but my untainted guess for how episode 11 ended is thus, and be warned of spoilers if you haven't watched yet:

i think that Joe needed to go through that door so he can meet Other Joe and they can have A Much Needed Conversation. i honestly expected him to be the person to speak to Joe in the hallway at the end, and was VERY surprised that it wasn't him. if we're going to get some kind of spiritual out of body stuff going on, it makes sense that Other Joe is someone he needs to see and speak to.

it felt weird that the monk came off as pushing Joe to let go, also- he knows how Ming feels about Joe all too well, and he knows how hard the two of them have fought to be together, so the fact that he was just like "do you wanna keep being miserable or do you wanna give up and walk away, the door is right there, you can just walk through it and let go" just felt.... off. but if his intent was to get Joe to walk through the door so he could talk to Other Joe, then it makes a lot more sense.

it's pretty obvious that on top of all the other struggles, Joe has been carrying a weight of responsibility for Other Joe's life, the most evident in the way he takes care of Ing- but i definitely think he genuinely loves Ing at this point, since she has been such a good mother to him and cared for him since he woke up. he and Ming discussed going to see her to explain things, but we didn't see that happen so i don't know if they actually did. it feels like too big of a plot point to gloss over, but we went straight from them talking about going to see her "that afternoon" to the stunt gym at night. i have no idea if that was a translation problem and they meant later in the day and were prevented from going by everything that happened, or if they actually just chose to leave that scene out.

the episode ending with Joe in a coma and potentially dieing again without having shown us any resolution- or honesty- with Ing feels wrong tho, so my guess is they didn't go see her yet, which means she has to deal with her son being in the hospital AGAIN.

and i think that Other Joe is too far gone, too long gone, to go back to life himself, but i think he's waiting for Joe on the other side of that door to turn him back around and send him back for both of them. Joe needs to remember why he wants to live- for love, for family, for himself, and i think talking to Other Joe, who gave up on those things specifically, is going to have to tell him that giving up on all of that isn't worth it. that he needs to take the opportunity for both of them to go back. to love Ming, and to be with his friends, and to take care of Ing. and Joe couldn't have that conversation if he didn't walk through that door, because Other Joe has been on the other side of it for too long.

we have had no kind of interaction with Other Joe at all, no flashbacks from people who knew him, no stories told by his mother to really give us an idea of who he was, just her saying he's different. we got nothing real from Tharn about their relationship, not even an apology for how it ended. nothing from anyone who knew him about him. i feel like it's time to let him speak, it's time for him to turn up and have a say in what's happening to his body. time for him to give Joe his benediction to live a full life, for him to tell Joe to do what he wasn't able to.

anyway yeah i think that's what's going on, so i'm not going to give up hope, and i'm not going to cry about this (too much) and i'm going to be tearing my hair out until next friday waiting for the final piece of this story.

[cowchickenbeefpork]

look I’m not going to argue that Edward truly loved Kristen for who she was genuinely ( he didn’t ) but seeing him as someone who got over her death and it barely affected him is kinda a reading I can’t agree with at all

I know what scene started this reading it was the whole “actually I do enjoy hurting people this is my true self and I greatly thank Kristen for making me reach my potential” but that realization came from when he cut her up, no? When you go back to THAT SCENE he describes how the light vanishing from her eyes was beautiful. This means two things, one, he had to first known he was hurting her, and two he was enjoying that fact

WHEN YOU GO BACK TO THE SCENE WHERE HE KILLED HER THERES NO TRACE OF THIS IN THE ACTING THERE!!!!! He’s not even angry he’s more so desperate to explain himself, he even smiles as he tells her he loves her and would NEVER HURT HER! And when he realized he killed her he sobbed himself to the point of blacking out. Even if you brush off the fact riddler is very poorly written and just make it be ed the fact he blacked out and went out fucking around with her corpse while not remembering any of it and only hours later regained consciousness and now having to search around the gcpd to find her. Genuinely why should I believe a man, who consistently convinces himself he’s actually super smart and has no emotions is telling ME the truth here about his own feelings when I as the viewer have just witnessed things that contradict this!!!!

Also the show contradicts that whole motive like two episodes later!!!!!!!!!! When Oswald tried to kill Ed for saying his mother made him weak Edward discusses Kristen’s death and says love wasn’t meant for men like them and that it will always weaken them. Notice how different of a explaination that is to the one in the woods? The one in the woods basically says it was his true self leaking out and he actually had some awareness of what he was doing and he enjoyed every second of it and he feels no remorse. The one during this scene says that it was unavoidable, an accident, but actually him brushing over his feelings and forcing himself to not think about it or ever attempt to love again is the correct awnser. Doesn’t the second answer flow better with the actual death? It aligns exactly with both his narcissism making him unable to admit he was in the wrong and also unable to let him grieve since it would go against the idea he has of himself in his head and aligns with the fact it was a ACCIDENT WHERE HE DIDNT EVEN INTEND TO HURT HER AT ALL!!!

I can’t blame people for taking the whole actually I enjoyed it reasoning as the true one since Gotham is very very badly written but the reasoning he gave to Oswald works better for his character and for the event itself! The whole point of that death was you can hurt people without even trying to and not be able to see that ur acting like the people who have hurt them before it’s too late and that’s!!!! Powerful but Gotham just had to make Edward secretly evil and sadicist this whole time which takes away from that message. The first time he finally realizes Kristen was a person who existed outside of what he thought of and was capable of thinking and acting outside of his image of her was when she died, and he pushed her back into a fucking box, a fucking role she played to further him in his life because the mere horror of his actions were too hard to bare, he had to convince himself this would always happen and it was either of their flaunts to keep his ego intact.

not to mention how the whole denying he needs love in his life kinda relates heavily back to his npd too. Since he couldn’t get what he wants he feels terrible and then convinces himself that actually WHAT HE WANTED was the inadequate thing instead of him, so he doesn’t have to mourn the fact that he couldn’t have it. It’s projection in a way, he projects his inner wants and desires that he hates to others so he can mock them and feel better. He is telling himself he doesn’t need connection to others, that he can provide for himself and will never need or depend on anyone ever in his life again which is contradicted again and again in the show. He can’t stop needing people to like him, affirm him or to depend on them. That is the ultimate paradox with npd, narcissism in itself locks someone into a state of both being completely independent and not needing or caring for others while completely needing and depending on their praise so you can keep your self esteem intact

i think why I’m kinda quite against this reading of Edward as someone who intensely enjoys hurting others in his nature and is completely logical and almost unemotional in his action is because it kinda just falls into his lie he folds himself and others, it’s believing in the narcissist fantasy he has convinced himself and others around him to be true, he will never be that, no matter how hard he tries he will never be smart enough and unemotional enough for himself, he will chase proving that fantasy until he dies if he keeps doing this, taking anyone who comes in his way down with him

you can read Gotham Ed however you want idc I’m not ur mom and I’m not mad I just really wanted to explain myself since last time I tried to it was horrid and nonsensical I should’ve been executed on the spot. You can read Edward however you like I’m not thought police I just really needed to say my peace here

[0minimity]

pros of dermatillomania: calling it Excessive Preening is pretty species euphoria.

cons of dermatillomania: i use up all the hot water in the shower because im so Distracted by my flesh. the facewash shit i have to use Hurts because my face is covered in open wounds. i risk being yelled at for staying up too late coz i cant step away from the mirror. i can Feel Them inside my Skin they shouldnt be there whats down there im bleeding it wont come out i keep digging it hurts but it always does

[evelynpr]

Loving Genshin Impact is hard.

I know people are going to find this hypocritical and stupid but I don't care about that right now.

I have loved playing Genshin for over 3 years now, and was able to maintain a healthy balance between playing it and not the whole time. I didn't force myself to play everyday, and many times I don't even do my dailies. I do them because I actually like farming and exploring.

But dear god, this fucking McDonalds collaboration is infuriating. McDo has been part of the BDS Boycott for a long time now, and there is no way they do not know about this with how they evidently do keep up with modern issues and trends.

Ridiculous to put gaming and politics together? Nah dude. Be aware of what you support and what you don't.

Ok now here's the part people are definitely gonna fuss over, I'm still gonna play the game. I have been f2p the entire time, and I highly doubt that they earn money from having to run more servers and accounts for people who don't pay at all. The most money they ever got from me is me buying a single official plushie last year.

But now though? I think I'm only gonna play this game only for important quests. That's it. The latest archon quest was honestly a disappointment, the blatant racism and whitewashing of characters is horrendous, and now this McDo collab. My account is stacked as fuck with strong characters and stuff already, so really don't need to build many of them anymore.

I love so much of this game, I really do. The music, characters, world, art, story, so so much of it. But jesus fucking christ this is a lot of shit to put up with. Why does this have to be so hard to love? Probably because they have heads of staff that are blatantly racist with sticks up their asses. Fuck you guys.

In my heart I know they can do better, but this is just. Horrible. Nothing I do, or us in the Genshin Tumblr community, can really stop them. All we can do is move forward.

[sexynetra]

hello! i was planning on drawing the rawnsyf characters, but i don't really have a clear idea of what every character looks like. do you have any examples of what the characters would wear on a day-to-day basis?

OMG WHAT THATS SO SWEET 😭 😭 😭

For Marcia I generally imagine her in like preppy pastel 2 or 3 piece sets that have a kind of 50’s meets 90’s vibe, very reminiscent of her premiere episode yk? Skirts and sweaters and matching tops. She also of course has her matching workout sets that she wears all the time :)

Anetra I think is a little harder to pinpoint, I don’t think her style is as distinct. I generally imagine her a little more on the light grunge side, like big t-shirts and cargos and flannels and leather jackets, but I also think she’s still figuring out herself and her sense of style so there’s definitely more wiggle room with the way she presents herself haha — just definitely not hyper femme and retro like Marcia

I hope this is helpful somewhat!!! Lmk if you want any other characters and also omg I am still kvelling this is so incredibly sweet I am HONORED that you want to draw my girls 🥹🥹🥹

[running-in-the-dark]

I ordered some specific screws I need for some of my shelves and the cabinets in the kitchen. they arrived today. except I ordered them to the nearest Packstation because that way shipping was free. which would be great and very convenient, except it's app-controlled and for some fucking reason those damn things don't work with my phone. or my previous phone. or my partner's phone.

they do work with my iPad though - great, I charged it yesterday so that should be fine. but oh no, it was at 1% battery (and then died while I was trying to connect to the wifi). apparently the charging cable is broken. and I can't find the only other lightning cable that I own because we are in the middle of moving so I have no idea where that thing would be. sooo either I find the cable or those screws will have to stay there until Monday when I can buy a new cable. this is so unnecessary and annoying.

[essektheylyss]

One of my favorite hobbies is opening the Genius annotations of lyrics I'm checking purely to roast the absolutely ATROCIOUS "analysis" some people throw up with full confidence on that site, oh my god.

[whydotheycallmechimney]

have only been here for 19 days but seeing samgirls be like "well obviously hardcore deangirls watched the show wrong" and deangirls say "well obviously hardcore samgirls watched the show wrong" is so funny like, idk man I think it depends. maybe our biases affect our perception of the show, intentional or not. maybe the real supernatural lays somewhere between the two extremes.

[thewhumpcaretaker]

When it comes to drawing the line between “moral” and “immoral” stories I think whump and BDSM lead to particular difficulties because much of the time, what is best practice in real life is not what makes for the hottest, most dramatic, most emotionally compelling, or most well-characterized story. Especially when we’re talking about villainous, criminal or otherwise fucked-up and/or assholish characters, as opposed to nice, healthy, stable, law-abiding folks who just happen to have some private bedroom kinks. I think this all leads into the absolute necessity to distinguish fiction from reality…an increasingly rare skill…

Signed, a real-life Domme who writes $h!t that would get me fucking arrested if I did it…

I'm just going to post this because I want you to be heard. But my response is not that articulate and I apologize.

TW: discussion of the ethics of writing SA and of doing CNC play

What's right has nothing to do with what makes for the hottest, most dramatic, most emotionally compelling, or most well-characterized story. What a person finds hot can be wrong in itself. The fact that something is desirable doesn't make it bad or good. But, I do agree that it complicates these discussions.

The fiction-reality distinction is something that I’ve talked about before. I find it really odd that this is perceived as a difficulty in distinguishing the two, because it’s so obvious that the fictional character isn’t really being harmed - they don’t exist. That’s not the issue at all. If you want to know what I think the actual issue is, look at this post I made that talks about participatory fiction (fiction that arouses the reader is participatory). The short version is that it says something about who a person is.

The distinction is in fact part of the problem. I support BDSM of most kinds, including CNC play. BDSM is different because there is a real person, the sub/bottom, really enjoying it and really consenting. They're absolving you of wrongdoing, which they can do because they exist, unlike a fictional victim. Fiction is just a person being an asshole, alone in their head (and perhaps in front of unrelated other people if they write it down and share it). Which I don't like personally, I think it's bad. I don't even know if I'm right and I promise you I don't trust myself! I'm so sorry! This is just how I truly feel about it, which I am saying only because I was asked.

[the-lark-ascending69]

> be a robin buckley fan

> be lesbian

> project on robin

> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic

> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve