#something deeply evil is forming inside of me

[beginningofwonderland]

Die For You - Hongjoong

Pairing: Hongjoong x fem Reader

Genre: smut with plot, plot with smut (18+ MDNI!)

Word Count: 7.4k

Summary: When enemies infiltrate the castle, you and your guard have to flee to a hiding spot deep inside the building. But a sudden appearance of enemies leaves your guard deeply wounded. As you tend to his wounds, you can't ignore the rising tension between the two of you any longer.

Tags/Warnings: Hongjoong as your guard, Royal au, San makes an appearance as an evil assassin, blood, death, violence, pretty detailed knife fight, the knifes don't make it into the bedroom though so no warning in that way, dirty talk (a little derogatory), oral sex (both receiving), unprotected sex (this is purely fictional pls use protection if you mess with your security guard), cumming in mouth I've never written any kind of royal or not modern setting before so bear with me. How do you dirty talk in that kind of au??

The darkness from outside spread over the floor in front of you like a disease. Seeping black all encompassing every step as you ran along the abandoned hallway. You didn't know if the darkness was comforting because no one could see you, or terrifying since you couldn't see much yourself.

The royal guard had decided to extinguish all the torches to confuse the enemies after the invasion began. As soon as the first intruder was spotted, chaos had broken loose. Immediately you were removed from the banquet. Accompanied by only your head guard you were supposed to flee to your second bedroom, which was hidden away deep in the maze-like corridors of the castle as a hiding space.

"You should get rid of those shoes, my princess. They are making quite the noise and I don't imagine them being comfortable either," your guard recommended. His voice was lowered so that the sound wouldn't carry too far.

In the haste of the moment you hadn't even thought of the clacking noise your shoes made with every step. But now you were very aware.

"You're right," you replied in a whisper and stopped to take off your heels. You thought about carrying them but before you could take a single step further your guard snatched them from you and threw them out the nearest window. You stared at him dumb-foundedly.

"If we leave them here it's a clear trace to you and they are only in the way if you carry them," he explained. A slight hint of annoyance clung to his voice as if he was getting impatient with you.

"They were pretty though," you complained under your breath while resuming your path.

You didn't overhear the snort behind you. "I'm sure you can simply buy new ones, my princess."

There was a certain teasing tone to his voice now. It's what you liked about Hongjoong. Even though he held the most important position in your personal guard he didn't treat you like the other guards did. He still let his character show through on the edges of his tough exterior. A smirk that was hidden away in the darkness formed on your face.

A sudden noise from behind you made you lose said smirk in an instant. The sound was clearly of clashing weapons and the fight seemed a mere few corridors away. Your heartbeat accelerated at a concerning rate as you threw a glance over your shoulder. The darkness didn't grant you any information but before you could spy any longer, Hongjoong strode beside you grabbing your arm.

"We should hurry," he advised. The stern voice he had when he was carrying out his job had returned as he was spoke closely to your ear.

The close proximity brought shivers to your skin, which you hoped he wouldn't notice as he dragged you forward by your arm. You couldn't help but be intrigued by your main guard's presence, even in moments like these. He had this strong aura around him that only intensified whenever he bickered with you. But that was something to think of at another place and time.

You both made your way through the maze of corridors in a way only people that knew the place like the back of their hand could. But in the middle of your usual path Hongjoong stopped you by slightly squeezing your arm.

"We should take a detour, I have a bad feeling about going the usual way. If our enemies were able to get into the castles there might be traitors amongst us that know their way around."

You simply nodded at him, trusting his judgement without a doubt. Finally, your eyes had somehow grown accustomed to the darkness and you were able to make out Hongjoong's face again. His expression was determined as he led you down a different way from your usual path.

It had grown terribly silent around you. It was probably just because the distance between you and the main disturbance grew bigger but something about it made you feel eerie. Your breaths came shallow now and you were sure Hongjoong noticed too, with the way he cast you worried glances.

As you turned the next corner he stopped you two abruptly. His arm immediately went in front of you and he shoved you behind himself without ever losing his focus on what laid ahead of you. Three persons had appeared in the darkness before you. They also had stopped in surprise but now they were slowly approaching, their dark figures looking like wild animals as they stalked towards you.

"Look what we have here. The cause of all this trouble," a honey-sweet voice announced. It was the person in the middle of the three and as he came even closer you were able to make out some of his features in the moonlight that fell through the high-arched windows. He had a sharp jaw and cheekbones, elegant eyes and to you personally he looked almost annoyingly attractive.

Hongjoong in front of you let out a snort. "San. We meet again like this."

The name caused a cold shudder to run over your back. San was known as the dark knight of the Choi kingdom. His abilities as an assassin were known beyond the borders of his country especially since your enemies used them as a weapon against you. He had already assassinated important diplomats and close advisers of your father, the king.

Having this man in front of you was the worst possible outcome of the evening. Hongjoong however didn't seem to be as frightened as you felt. His hands only went to his belt in a calm manner, pulling out two daggers. You had seen what he could do with those before and the reassurance of the weapons gave you hope again.

"You're going straight to violence? I thought we could talk this out first," San complained in a whiny tone. His attitude made shivers run over your skin. How could you be so relaxed when facing a death battle.

"If you want to talk, I'm kindly asking you to leave. If that's not what you want then you should prepare to die." Hongjoong took a step forward, falling into a fighting stance.

"How optimistic," San chuckled. But then his voice changed to a more threatening tone: "Get her."

What a coward, you thought. Sending his men first instead of fighting himself. But then your thoughts were interrupted by watching the scene in front of you play out.

The two men approached quickly. It was hard to see clearly in the dim light but you were quite sure both of them carried a dagger as well. Hongjoong threw a calculating gaze at both of them before they faced him. He couldn't move around them so that he would only face one because then the other would have a clear way to you. So his only chance was to fight both at the same time.

And that he did. Hongjoong dodged every single slash or punch they threw at him. It looked like he was dancing with them in an endless rhythm of moving around their blades. His movements were fluid like water and you could have even sworn a smug little smirk tugged on his lips as he countered his enemies.

The first one fell as one of Hongjoong's daggers was buried in his stomach. Hongjoong pushed him out of his way with a kick and then faced the second. A fire was burning behind his eyes now, heavy breathing filling the air between the two opponents. It felt surreal to you, how you just stood back and watched it all unfold. Even more so, since San was doing the same in the back, even leaning onto a wall leisurely.

This guy is out of his mind.

San's second accomplice seemed to be a better fighter as he endured Hongjoong's attacks for longer. A quick slash of Hongjoong's knife gave him a deep cut into his arm but he kept going with the other.

The longer the fight dragged on, the more nervous you got. Your enemies were stalling for time and at any second, more intruders could appear behind or in front of you. Your suspicion was only heightened when out of the corner of your eyes you saw San starting to move. It almost slipped past you with the silent way he moved. Like a black cat sneaking its way through the darkness he had moved towards your direction while Hongjoong was busy fighting.

"Hongjoong!" you screamed out in panic, moving towards him and away from San. A grin spread on your enemies face that only heightened your panic.

Turning around at your pleading words, Hongjoong missed a crucial second of watching his opponent. A heavy punch hit him on his cheek as soon as his attention was interrupted. You gasped from the impact and Hongjoong released a heavy groan. But the hit only ignited the fire inside of him more. Without missing another beat he hit his opponent with a kick, making him bend over before he cut his throat without hesitation.

But he had taken a second too long. Before he was able to face San and hide you behind him, an arm had grabbed you harshly from behind, pulling you close to San and holding a knife to your throat.

It was the first and only time you had ever seen a sliver of fear flicker in Hongjoong's eyes. But he quickly controlled himself again and was back to his stern face.

"Now if I were you I wouldn't do anything I might regret later," Hongjoong warned his opponent.

"I can say the same for you," San laughed and pressed the blade closer to your neck making your eyes flutter in fear. You've been hunted by the Choi kingdom ever since you were born. As the only heir to your severely sick father, with you out of the way, the Choi king could finally take over your country after years of territorial war.

The feeling of being chased was so ingrained into your bones that it now rendered you motionless in panic. All you could look at was Hongjoong. His eyes flickering to yours as if checking up on you.

Why is he not killing me already? you thought to yourself. Isn't that what they wanted all these years?

The same thoughts must have gone through Hongjoong's head as he watched his opponent with a calculating gaze. You noticed how his eyes lingered on the hand holding the knife at your throat.

"To make this all the more interesting," San suddenly started explaining: "the young king Choi has changed his mind. He doesn't want to assassinate the princess as he fears the uproar of the people. Instead he wants to marry her."

Your eyes widened in surprise. What on earth was this now.

"You know," San continued. "Make her attend public events and then lock her up for the rest of the year like the little political puppet that she is."

You could practically hear the devilish grin in his words as he finished that sentence. And it seemed to ignite something in Hongjoong. As pure hatred washed over his face, he threw one of his daggers.

The blade approached you as if it was in slow-motion. Hongjoong had calculated correctly. You were so paralysed into your spot that you didn't move a single inch. The blade then bore itself into San's arm, making him drop his own knife.

"Get back, princess!" Hongjoong shouted as he tore you away from San, using the second of distraction after his opponent got hurt. Finally, he had you secured behind him again.

San ripped the blade out of his arm, throwing it to the side without a single sign of pain on his face. There was only anger. Within the blink of an eye the two were at each others throats.

It was the fiercest fight you had ever witnessed. Both of them were not only very talented but also ruthless. They kept up a rhythm of circling each other and then slashing out with their daggers. Both of them suffered small cuts when not dodging in time but what worried you more was that you could see Hongjoong breathing heavy. After already fighting two people he was simply tired out compared to his opponent.

"You know you can't win this," San provoked him, probably hinting at the same realization you just had. "Just give her up already. I might even spare your life."

"This is not about me," Hongjoong replied sternly. They were back to circling each other, catching their breath.

"So dutiful? I never understood you guards. I do this for money and not for the honour. Or are you doing it for her pretty face?" He was smiling devilishly and San's suspicions were proven true when Hongjoong immediately lashed out at him with his knife. San must've hit a spot with his words.

You could sense Hongjoong losing his focus, blinded by rage, and you knew you had to do something. In the midst of their battle you picked up Hongjoong's second knife from the floor which San had thrown to the side. When you turned back around to face them, San had forced Hongjoong against a wall and your guard could barely keep up with the continuous attacks of his enemy.

In a hasty decision you stormed towards San, knife in hand, ready to bury it deep into his back. But you had underestimated him. Before you could launch your attack he managed to hit Hongjoong's hand with the hilt of his knife, making him lose his last weapon. In the moment of confusion he turned around and slashed his knife after you.

"Thought I wouldn't notice you, little thing?" he asked with a smirk before returning his attention to Hongjoong.

He never intended to kill you, he just wanted to ward you off and he succeeded in that as you jumped back in fear. It took a second to settle in but a burning pain pulsated on your lower arm. When you looked down a long slash opened your skin, dark red blood already running down your arm.

Hongjoong was now protecting himself with his bare hands. His arms trying to direct San merciless attacks. He was littered in cuts by now and you felt the crushing fear of him losing right in front of you. Or worse, him dying.

"Hongjoong!" you tried in a last attempt to save the both of you. You knew it would distract him again, but it was the only chance.

Before he could even look, you threw his knife in his direction. Luckily, he caught on immediately and his hand reached for the blade in the fraction of a second. Surprising San for probably the first time this evening, Hongjoong immediately brought down the knife in between his rips, burying it to the hilt.

San's knife fell with a loud clutter. His face was frozen in that last expression of surprise as he fought for air. The knife must have fractured his lungs and, if he was lucky, his heart as well. As he stumbled a step back, Hongjoong give him one last push while pulling out his knife, making San fall on his back. Blood spread rapidly on his white shirt, soaking through the fabric in a fascinating pattern.

"Quick, my princess. We need to hide before more enemies appear."

Hongjoong once again grabbed onto your arm. This time he was careful not to take the one that had been injured. Your eyes were on the dark path in front of you again, trying to get rid off the picture of motionless bodies, that were haunting you now.

It wasn't far until your secret quarters from here. After two more turns you reached the tapestry that hid the door to your hideout. Hongjoong retrieved a key from his pocket to open the lock before he rushed you two inside.

When the door closed behind you and he locked it again, you released a deep breath. A wave of exhaustion washed over you and you leaned onto the nearest table for support, feeling dizzy. Hongjoong first closed the curtains before he lit up some candles. But as soon as soon as he faced you again and saw you like this he was by your side.

"Are you okay, my princess?" His pupils were dilated and he still had a wild expression to his face. The fight still clung to him, the adrenaline not yet washed away.

He took your face in his hand gently to examine you as you looked up at him with big eyes. He had never come this close to you before and you were stunned by the proximity. But as if he had read your thoughts Hongjoong suddenly pulled away his hand again, looking at it in shock.

Swallowing deeply Hongjoong looked at you bitterly: "I'm sorry, my princess. I failed to protect you. We should tend to your wounds."

He turned away from you in search of fresh water and some fabric to care for your injury. You were left in astonishment.

"What are you talking about? Without you I would be on my way to enslavement by the Choi's. You saved both of us!" There was anger in your voice.

"You got hurt, so I failed to protect you." Hongjoong didn't face you yet as he picked up a bucket of water. His voice was stern, regret lacing every word.

Finally, he found some pieces of cloth that he could use for cleaning the wound and turned back around to you. The look in his eyes quite nearly broke your heart. You had never seen him so defeated.

"Sit on the bed," he ordered you gently. "We need to clean your wound."

"You look ten times worse than I do, let me help you first," you insisted in a harsh voice. He was bleeding all over his arms and chest and the punch to his face earlier had opened the skin on his elegant cheekbones as well. You couldn't believe that after all that he cared about your shallow little cut in comparison.

"It's my duty to protect you so let me do my job."

"It's your duty to protect me and I need you alive for that and not dying of blood loss."

Hongjoong was standing in front of you now, looking at you with a stern expression. You stared at each other for a prolonged amount of time. But when you realized he wouldn't budge, you sat down on the edge of the bed with a frustrated sigh. He set down the bucket of water next to your feet, the pieces of fabric still in his hand. For a moment he was just looking at you, eyes boring into yours with an expression you couldn't read. But the intensity of it stopped your lungs from breathing.

"Stop keeping me from doing my job, princess," he said suddenly, with a slight teasing sound to his voice.

"It's not your job to die for me just because you refuse to get help," you answered, thinking of all the possible outcomes of the situation earlier this evening. The fear you felt during his fight.

"But I would," Hongjoong replied in a heartbeat. His tone wasn't teasing anymore now. He was completely serious. Holding your eye contact he sank to his knees in front of you. His hair fell into his face as he landed and looked up at you through dark lashes.

"I would die for you."

With those words he took your arm into his hands. Dipping the cloth into the water he finally started cleaning the blood from your skin. His touch was so gentle you felt like fine porcelain. In contrast, his skin was splattered in blood, not all of it even his own. His shirt was cut up in multiple spots and his hair dishevelled.

You didn't realize you were crying until a single tear landed on your arm, mixing with the blood that Hongjoong was still wiping away. He looked up at you in surprise. His hand twitched as if he wanted to wipe away your tears too but decided differently.

"What's wrong?" he asked in a hushed tone.

"I can't stand seeing you like this," you replied truthfully. "Let me help you too" You sounded pleading now. The desperation even more evident through the tears running down your cheeks.

Hongjoong averted his eyes back to your arm. After a moment of pondering he answered: "Just one more second."

He quickly cleaned up the rest of your blood and bound the cut with a fresh piece of cloth. Then he rose to his feet again. Wiping the remnants of your tears away you also stood up, now shockingly close to Hongjoong in front of you.

Gently you grabbed him by his shoulders and made him sit down on the bed in return. Never before had you realized how beautiful his eyes were until he was looking up at you like he did in that moment. When the intensity of his gaze made your skin burn, you shifted your eyes to his wounds.

"You will need to get rid of your shirt so that I can clean the cuts."

In response he started folding up his sleeves instead. "Only tend to these then," he answered sternly.

"You are bleeding all over and we need to wait out the attack anyway. Let me clean your wounds." Now it was your turn to hold his cheek in your hand. "Please."

His expression softened with the way you held him and looked at him so desperately. He knew he was making a mistake by giving in to his feelings but he still followed your pleads and started unbuttoning his dress shirt. With every button you felt the blush on your cheeks deepening. You hadn't really realized the intimacy of this moment when you insisted on cleaning his wounds. You had only wanted him to heal.

After he discarded the blood-stained shirt to the side, Hongjoong leaned back onto his arms. You couldn't help but let your eyes wander over his exposed body. For once because you were fascinated with the toned muscles beneath his skin. But also because you were terrified by the amount of cuts. Some bigger some smaller, but all of them bleeding over his smooth skin.

"You wanted to help me, didn't you?" Hongjoong suddenly said, the teasing tone returning to his voice by tenfold. Your cheeks grew even hotter as you realized you had stared at him for a little too long.

You picked up a clean piece of cloth and dipped it in the water before you tended to his wounds. Starting on his arm, you soon realized that the injuries seemed endless. On top of that, you had to bend down to him in an uncomfortable position. But kneeling in front of him was not an option for multiple reasons either.

In a fit of confidence you instead settled for a different solution. "Can you move back a little more," you asked Hongjoong matter-of-factly. He looked confused but obeyed to your request anyway.

Before you could regret your decision you then straddled his legs, sitting down on top of them, your long dress splaying over him. Hongjoong's breath hitched for a second before he returned to his usual stern guard appearance, his eyes focussed on a spot in the distance. Only the way his hands gripped onto the sheets until his knuckles turned white still gave away how affected he was by your proximity. You continued working on his cuts as if nothing happened, ignoring the slight tremble of your own hands.

The deepest cut was on Hongjoong's right arm and you bound it immediately so that the bleeding would stop quicker. You then finished cleaning the smaller spots on his chest. At some point you almost forgot that you were touching his bare skin all over.

That was until only the cut on his cheek was left. As you grabbed his face to stabilize your grip, your eyes met. You were closer to him than you had noticed before and your heart skipped a beat as you looked deep into Hongjoong's eyes. Carefully, you started wiping the blood from his cheek. He had such delicate features. You had always thought that his looks didn't match his profession but still he excelled at it. Tonight had only proven that.

When you were done you returned your focus to his eyes. "You're all patched up," you announced in nothing more than a whisper. None of you made an attempt to move even a single inch away from each other even after you threw the bloody cloth beside you.

Hongjoong lifted his hand from behind him, slowly, as if giving you time to react. Then he laid it on top of your fingers, which were still holding onto his unwounded cheek. The touch felt so warm and comforting, yet it drove electricity through your skin.

"Tell me what you want now, my princess," Hongjoong asked you in a low voice that made your insides squirm. He looked at you as if entranced, eyes not being able to stray from yours.

You looked at him through half-lidded eyes, voice straining as you spoke: "You. I want you."

Both of you moved towards each other at the same time and your lips crashed in the middle. Hongjoong's other hand shot up to weave into your hair, pulling you closer into the kiss. The feeling was electrifying. The two of you kissed each other with a desperation that could only come from almost dying earlier this evening.

You had always longed for Hongjoong but now you were dying for him. You wanted every possible centimetre of your bodies to touch and so you pressed yourself even closer to his chest. You couldn't care less if he was bleeding onto your dress or not. He slung his other arm around your waist and pulled you higher up in his lap, obviously sharing the same need.

Parting your lips slightly you allowed Hongjoong's tongue into your mouth. He was skilled with it, making your head swim in cotton. There was nothing on your mind but Hongjoong. All danger was forgotten as his hands held your body tightly. All the hesitation he had shown earlier was lost to his pleasure.

When you ground your hips into him, Hongjoong released a low whine. The sound made you shudder and you felt the desperate desire to hear more sounds from him. Snaking one of your hands behind your back to open the lacing of your dress, Hongjoong stopped your kiss.

His pupils were dilated as he looked at you, lips swollen and wet from the intense kiss. "Are you sure about this, princess?" He had always called you that but his deep tone now made it sound a thousand times better than ever before.

"I've never been so sure about a thing in my life," you replied with a smirk, which Hongjoong reciprocated immediately.

"Then let me take care of this, my darling" he proposed. The new nickname rolled of his tongue so easily but it made your heart flutter tremendously. Seeing him finally break out of his dutiful persona had a weakening effect on you.

He moved his hands behind your back towards the strings of your dress. But you clearly hadn't paid enough attention to his hands as he suddenly cut through all of the lacing at once with his dagger.

A noise of surprise came over your lips as you felt the dress slowly sliding down your body already. Hongjoong marvelled at your expression, a sly smirk resting on his lips. With some of the black strands of hair falling into his face and the candlelight contouring his face he looked so perfect in front of you. You wouldn't ever be able to look at him the same way you did before you had kissed him.

Hongjoong held you by your waist as he got up from the bed. As soon as you were standing, the dress slipped down from your body, pooling at your feet as he continued kissing you. You could only lace your fingers into his dark hair as his head dipped into your neck, placing kisses on the sensitive skin.

"I would love to mark you my darling but I fear that might get us in trouble later," he admitted through a chuckle as his lips travelled over your neck.

"Then do it where people can't see," you replied breathlessly. You wanted him all over you, his lips, his marks, his everything.

Hongjoong pulled back at your words, looking at you with dark eyes. The intensity was similar to when he had attacked San earlier only know his energy was directed towards different purposes.

"Everything my princess desires," he replied, suddenly spinning you around and gently placing you on the bed again.

Before you could say another word he was on top of you, his lips all over your body. Kissing down from your neck towards your exposed breasts, sucking at the skin that was usually carefully hidden benath your dress. He looked up at you through fluttering lashes before taking one of your nipples into his mouth. He circled the tender skin gently with his tongue, making you moan beneath him within seconds.

In the meantime his hands kneaded your skin all over from your waist to your hips. When his lips wandered down even farther, your breath turned shallow. He felt intoxicating. There was so much desire and desperation in the way he touched you that you just wanted more and more.

His kisses turned softer and slower as he made his way to your lower stomach. Through those dangerously glinting eyes he looked up at you for approval.

„Please go on, Joong."

He suddenly stopped his movements. "Joong?" he asked with a low chuckle.

Your face reddened as you realized you had called him a nickname by accident.

"I've only kissed you yet and you're already calling me nicknames?" He snickers. "I can't wait to hear more."

With that he removed your underwear. His eyes glistened as he looked at you before him. Glazed in lust like any other emotion was an impossibility to him.

He looked at you one last time before he lowered his lips to you. He started kissing you softly, barely giving you any stimulation. The softness was unexpected to you, not fitting his tough image. But you soon realized that these weren't acts of carefulness but rather his menacing plan to tease you.

As soon as you started to squirm beneath him, trying to get more friction between you and his kitten licks at your core, he held your hips down with a firm grip. Feeling his strength on your own body made you shiver.

"Please, Joong," you beg him for something you can't even put into words but he chuckles in response to your neediness.

"On this bed, you belong to me, my princess. I'm not taking any more orders from you," he said looking up at you with a menacing smile.

A shudder passed through your body at the deep tone of his voice and you had no choice but to give yourself up to his mercy. And nothing had ever felt better to you. Turning off all thought while Hongjoong was pleasuring your cunt in an almost torturous tempo was somehow the most blissful thing you had ever experienced. It made you forget all the panic and anxiety you had felt just minutes ago.

When an overwhelming feeling of heat built up in your lower stomach and your hips desperately tried to grind against Hongjoong's tongue against his relentless grip, he suddenly stopped. He looked up at you through messy strands of black hair hanging in his vision.

"Not yet my princess, I'm only getting started with you."

He got up from the bed only to slowly discard his pants with his eyes still glued onto your figure. As soon as you saw his hardened length you sucked in a breath of air, feeling your heartbeat accelerating. You felt like he was touching you with his intense stare alone before he was back on top of you. His eyes searched for yours and his hand cupped your cheek surprisingly gentle before Hongjoong shared a deep kiss with you.

It was like nothing else existed besides his lips on yours. You had never felt so much longing for a person in your life as you deepened the kiss and pulled him closer by the back of his head. Once you wound your fingers into Hongjoong's hair and pulled on it he groaned into your mouth, sending shockwaves through your body at the sound.

He interrupted the kiss to stare at you with eyes filled with lust, a fire behind his gaze that spread onto you immediately.

"Tell me to stop right now, princess. I know I'm not supposed to have you but I will ruin you for everyone else if I can have you just this once. You will never want anyone else but me, I promise you."

If anything his words only made you want him more: "Please," you pleaded him, voice not more than a whisper. "I'm all yours. I don't want anyone else."

And your words were like gasoline to his fire. His lips were back on yours in a heartbeat and you felt him spreading your legs apart with his knees. Never once breaking the kiss, Hongjoong held his cock and slowly let it glide through your folds, collecting the wetness between your legs and taunting you even more. You were still sensitive from his tongue and whined into his mouth as he continued teasing you like this.

"Please, Joong," you whined in between kisses. "I want you so bad."

He chuckled into the kiss but actually listened to you as he finally lined himself up with your core.

"So eager, my darling," he teased you, breaking from the kiss only to watch your reaction to him finally pushing into you. As soon as his tip entered you, your eyes fluttered shut and a low moan left your mouth.

A content smile spread on Hongjoong's face as he watched your brows draw together once he bottomed out. You felt so good around him, so hot and tight.

His thrusts started out slow but harsh and with every jolt you felt him hit a spot deep inside you, you didn't even know existed. Once one of his hands started caressing your breast, thumb rolling over your hardened nipple, you opened your eyes again to watch him.

Hongjoong looked ethereal. His delicate features barely illuminated by the candles, eyes darkened by lust and his black hair moving in time with his thrusts, the visual alone almost made you come.

"Having fun, my darling?" he asked tauntingly with a particularly harsh thrust that made you gasp. "You look so pretty moaning on my cock like that."

You felt like choking from his filthy words. Your head guard was usually not the chattiest person apart from his occasional teasing remarks towards you. Having him talk to you like that made your legs soften in the best way possible.

Knowing he had you exactly where he wanted you, he sped up his pace, increasing your moans that you were desperately trying to hold back.

"Can't even talk anymore? You don't know how long I've been wanting you to shut up on my cock like this."

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you could feel the heat in your stomach building up fast. Hongjoong felt you tightening around him and was determined to make you finish. His hand wandered down from your breast to your core and with two fingers he started drawing circles into your clit while continuing his menacing pace.

Your hands grabbed onto his underarms in response, nails digging into his skin as you felt your orgasm approaching quickly. He knew exactly what would drive you there and finished you off with his words alone:

"Let go for me, my darling. Come on my cock."

And just with that a wave of pleasure rushed over you, breath being knocked out of your lungs. You felt like fighting for oxygen as you calmed down from your high and Hongjoong whispered praises into your ear:

"Such a good girl for me. That's my pretty princess."

When he felt like you had recovered enough, Hongjoong pulled out of you carefully and settled on the edge of bed, sitting down. With a menacing glance over his shoulder he beckoned you to come closer to him.

"Get on top of me, princess. You were so eager to do that earlier I feel like I should show you what you deserve for being so needy."

When you got up from the bed to straddle him, your legs almost gave in from being so weak after your high. Hongjoong's hand latched onto your hip to steady you as he slowly pulled you onto him.

"Slowly, my darling. Don't want you fainting on me now when I'm not even done with you."

Knees safely situated on the bed next to his hips, you hovered your core over his member. Your faces were so close that your noses touched as you devoured each other with your eyes alone.

You slowly sank down onto his length while holding eye contact with him the entire time. It was the first time you saw him getting a little weak as his eyes fluttered and a small grunt came from the back of his throat.

You wanted to hold onto his shoulders for support, to move on top of him but his body was littered in cuts, that you didn't want to touch. Hongjoong felt your hesitation and let his hands glide over yours, gently placing them on both sides of his face. You felt like you were holding the stars in your hands with the way his eyes sparkled up at yours. It wasn't just desire speaking from them now but something else too as his arms snaked around your waist.

"Let me make you mine, princess."

With his words he gently lifted your body and let it drop down, burying his cock deep within your walls. One of your hands wound into his hair again, keeping you grounded by slightly pulling on his strands.

He fucked you by lifting you up and down his cock like you weighed nothing in his hands. You already felt like coming undone again as you once again pulled him into a kiss. This time he was moaning into your mouth as well, the low vibrations going straight to your core.

You couldn't hold yourself back anymore from moving on top of him too. As you moved up and down his length Hongjoong let his head fall back into his neck in bless.

"You're killing me, princess."

"I thought you would die for me?" you asked back teasingly.

Hongjoong's eyes glinted at your words. "Well that's not how I meant that."

Using his legs he suddenly thrust himself up into you from below and you knew you wouldn't last long like that. His hands digging into your skin and his cock so deep inside you you felt the pressure in your core once again tightening.

"Can you come for me one more time, princess?" Hongjoong asked you with a strained voice. Judging by his clenched jaw you could tell he was close too.

"Yes, please," you begged him and somehow he managed to speed up his tempo just a little more.

Once the orgasm hit you, you couldn't help but let your head drop into the crook of his neck, moaning into his soft skin as he continued thrusting into you. His name tumbled from your lips over and over again making him feel intoxicated of the sweet sound.

"I'm close, princess," he groaned into your ear, thrusts faltering.

"Please let me finish you," you begged him.

"God, please," was all he could answer and you got off of his lap, kneeling down between his legs instead.

You grabbed onto his length, gently stroking him while your tongue lapped at his tip. Your eyes raked over his body marvelling in the way his abs tensed under your touch and his breath came in short gasps. When you finally took him into your mouth as far as you could, Hongjoong spilled his hot seed deep into your throat. His hands wanted so badly to pull you farther onto his cock but he grabbed onto the bedsheets in desperation instead as he came undone.

You moaned as you felt the liquid trickling down your throat and the vibration only heightened his pleasure as his cock twitched inside of you. You sucked him dry before swallowing all of his come with a dazed look on your eyes.

Hongjoong felt like he was in a dream, watching the one person he had always longed for devour him so passionately. He gently lifted you up from the ground only to lay you back on the bed. He held your body like it was the most fragile thing in the world, cradling your head to his chest and stroking your hair gently.

The sudden softness almost brought you to tears. You had never felt this cared for in your life.

"Joong?" you softly called him and he looked down at you, releasing the grip on your hair so you could face him.

"What is it, my princess?"

"I don't want you just tonight."

A flicker of confusion passed over his handsome features. You laid your hand on his cheek, stroking the soft skin.

"I was the one to pick you as my head guardian," you spoke softly, the memory of it still vivid in your mind. You had kept this information a secret until now, carefully stored in the back of your head but now it was begging to be let out. "Ever since you had joined the royal guard I've had a crush on you so I begged my father to make you my head guardian, telling him I didn't trust anyone else but you."

Hongjoong's eyes widened in surprise. He had always thought he got lucky with such an honoured position. He had never imagined you out of all people wanting him to be so close to you. Yet he couldn't quite grasp the gravity of your words.

"What do you mean? You can't be with a guard." He was thinking rationally. All this time he knew there was no way for him to ever have you but now you gave him hope that he didn't want to allow himself just yet.

"It is only a matter of time before my father passes and I become queen. And as the queen I can do whatever I please."

Hongjoong slowly shook his head, disbelieve evident on his face. But you went on:

"I can't imagine anyone else by my side than the one I trust the most, Hongjoong. And even if you don't love me back I want you to be at my side when I need to run this kingdom."

He stared at you for a second, mind running crazy at your words. You wanted him. Out of everything in the world that could be yours you wanted him.

"Who says I don't love you back?" was what he finally replied with the tiniest hint of a smile playing around the corner of his lips.

This time your eyes widened in surprise. "But you were always annoyed by me?" you answered in slight confusion.

Your response made him chuckle and stroke your cheek affectionately. "Darling, that was me trying really hard not to fall for you even more than I already did."

There it was again, that look in his eyes that felt like he was watching the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It rendered you completely speechless.

"I'll always be by your side, my princess. I'll worship you until the day I die."

And with that he pulled you in for another kiss. You felt a tear run down your cheek as you desperately latched onto his lips. You would never let go of him again.

This entire thing was single-handedly inspired by Hongjoong falling to his knees in Inception which says a lot about my mental health if you ask me but okay.

I hope you enjoyed even if it was different from my usual settings/plots!

Taglist: @voicesinmyhead-rc @yoonjikim

[tellmeallaboutit]

what is the deal with Hope?

All I know of her is the "cRaZy LaDy" you can ally with in the House of Hope level. Does she have any extra details to her story besides being Raphael's prisoner and Korrilla's sister? (in your opinion, if not in canon!)

Holy moly, Hope is something quite complicated indeed. Hope, first of all, is a product of scrapped original writing / creative redirections / House of Hope re-makings.

It’s extremely hard to analyze her because there are mixed signals in all possible directions. I’ll give the main three. All IMHO / headcanon.

1. Hope as a Concept / Poetical Allegory

Probably the original intention. Hope as some incorruptible entity, a concept, that Raphael stole and tried to destroy as a long-winded poetic metaphor and failed to do so.

2. Hope as a person

Hope is also a real dwarven cleric and the sister of Korilla. So, in this version, at one point Raphael thought “oh, neat name, so metaphorical, wanna serve me?”, Hope was like “nope, get fucked”, and then the only logical course of action for a lawful evil character was to throw respect for consent and rules out of the window, kidnap her, chain her in his basement, threaten her, torture her, subject her to some form of sexual assault (unclear what happened there or who did that, but something that deeply unsettled Hope and caused her to describe sexual acts she witnessed in a very disturbing manner).

Yeah, don’t ask me. I am pretty sure that goes against anything devils are supposed to stand for with actual trickery and seduction and gradual corruption. I guess the thought there was “devils only pretend to care about consent and be civil but look at what this guy is doing behind closed doors”. Behind closed doors, he threatens to drench a kidnapped girl in the intestines of a kid. Very edgelordy, Raph.

3. Hope as a romantic / sexual interest

At one point of development, it seemed like there was a sexual connotation in their relationship aka he wanted her as a woman aka an actual sexual creep locking an unwilling woman in his basement.

Clues: “taming hope” with lines like “he looks at her with such hatred and longing”, and also data-mined taming hope volume 3 where she actually refers to him as "flaccid horned-fuck" and his maggoty tongue in her ear, Raphael referring to himself as a hopeless romantic. The “hope ahaha such a tease” line also seems sexual as such context. I think the boudoir line (where Hope says she has been there, but not on her own will) was created during this stage, and then in act 3 chaos it was just left there because why not.

All in all, Hope writing is indeed a hot mess. She was supposed to symbolize how predatory, corrupt and rotten inside Raphael is, but the delivery of this story was rehashed so many times it fell really flat. I like the general idea of Hope, I think it could have been great, but the execution fell on the nose and is still lying there whimpering. I think my personal main take away from Hope story that Raph is obsessive, doesn’t really give a shit about consent (only on a extremely formal put your signature here or die level) and has strong yandere vibes.

Thank you for your ask ❤️

[moonlightazriel]

Chapter 17: Let the darkness set us free /// Azriel X F!Reader

Summary: They finally get face to face with the Valg King.

Word Count: 3,8K

Warnings: Angst, mentions of blood and war.

Notes: Hey, I'm back, I'm sorry ahahah hope you guys still remember what happened last chapter cuz I don't

Main Masterlist

Worlds Apart Masterlist

A droplet of sweat ran down the column of Azriel’s neck, his grip on his shadows was tight, any slip ups and the cover he had on both his and Lucien’s body would be gone and their whole plan would go down the drain. Nesta was the first one, her wrists tied together, Ataraxia buzzed with energy on his back, wanting to be reunited with its owner. 

Y/N guided Nesta carefully, her own sword covered by her cloak, and a dagger just a few inches away from the pulsing point in Nesta’s neck. From where he followed them closely, he could see the shaking in her hands, anxiety emanating from her distressed body.

Something deep inside her gut told her this was a mistake, but she knew it was the only way to kill Mantyx and guarantee a way home, even if as the time passed, the idea of going back to Erilea didn’t seem as appealing as it was in the beginning. Her stomach twisted and the content of the breakfast she had that morning threatened to spill as she stepped closer to that bridge. 

The idea of getting trapped again with that monster, freeing him from his restraining, facing his full power and full wrath, was something that deeply scared her. But at the same time, she had to, so Prythian wouldn’t be just something else the valgs had destroyed. 

The wood underneath her feet creaked with the weight of her boots, Nesta was as silent as the dead, controlled breaths escaping her mouth every once in a while, her icy blue eyes pierced the door, her magic recoiled inside of her as she felt the presence lurking in the shadows of the house. 

With a screech, like the hinges couldn’t hold the old oak door for much longer, the door bursts open. Wearing a dark tunic that exposed his chest, his hair slicked back in an attempt to make himself more presentable, Mantyx walked out. His arms stretched forwards, the tips of his fingers itching to touch the power he felt emanating from Nesta.

Both of the females shivered in distress at the wicked grin he gave their way, his golden eyes taking in the bobbing of Nesta’s throat as she swallowed dryly. She was afraid of him and that made everything just so much more exciting. 

“When I felt the amount of pain inside of your heart, I knew you could do it for me.” His velvety voice echoed around in the woods, the soldiers hiding there were able to hear it, Cassian clutched his sword harder, not being able to escort his mate inside was killing him, but he trusted Nesta to come back to him alive. 

“I would do anything for my sister.” She refused to say Asterin’s name out loud, it was her way of protecting her from the cruelty of another Valg King. 

“I know! And you will be compensated.” His smirk grew wider, awfully similar to Maeve’s. “Let’s come inside so we can discuss our plans.” Mantyx pushed Nesta inside, to make sure she wasn’t going anywhere, Y/N followed them closely. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Rhysand mustered his magic, his power seeping around, a huge cloud of mist covering the surrounding of the cabin, a mask to pretend everything was fine while the Vanserras positioned themselves, one by one, they circled the cabin. 

Eris felt the doors that keeped his power controlled begging to be open, a wave of magic cursed through his body as he opened it, flooding like a waterfall, he had never felt so powerful before. He imagined his power expanding, forming the dome that would protect them from the evil inside of the cabin.

His brothers and his mother did the same, opening their bodies to that power, allowing that magic to consume and pour out of them, cascading around their limbs in a comfortable warmth. The fire bended to their will, forming the dome around the cabin to prevent them from getting out. 

Cassian signalled to his troops that it was time to get in formation. The soldiers spreaded around the woods, their backs turned to the dome, protecting it was the top priority at the moment, if the dome faltered for just a second the consequences could be disastrous and no one in that field wanted to risk it. 

So the Illyrians got in a defensive instance, their syphons glowing as shields started to be projected out of them in various colours. Cassian was in the sky, trying to spot any threats before they attacked, but to this moment nothing had appeared and he wondered if Nesta had started with the freeing spell. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Her skin prickled at the power who pushed hers back, like it was testing the waters before it attacked her. Koschei or Mantyx, whatever the hell his name was, moved around, his home smelled the same way Y/N did when she came back with the Ridderak’s head and coated in its putrid blood. 

Nesta glanced at the female standing quietly in the shadowy corner, her dark blue eyes glued to the stone that called Nesta, a power just as old as the one coating the troves. She was afraid of getting too close, of touching it, afraid that the alluring song would consume her and drive her insane. 

There was a faint smell of metal, and she knew the plan had begun. She forced her brain to focus on the words written in the diary. She had spent her days with her nose glued to those pages ever since Y/N and Azriel came back. 

“Can I go to the bathroom?” Y/N asked and Mantyx turned his gold eyes to her, like he had just remembered that she was still there.

“Go ahead.” His hand pointed to a door on the opposite wall and the female nodded, placing her hands in front of her body just before she disappeared behind the door.

“What do you want from me?” Nesta asked as the male sat in front of her, three mugs filled with boiling hot tea, it smelled nicely. He threw a charming smile her way and she felt her guts twisting inside her body.

“You are the one who can help me achieve what I want.” He grabbed the mug and brought it to his lips, the sweet taste filled his mouth and he gestured for Nesta to drink her own tea but she shook her head in denial. 

“And what would that be?” He blinked a couple of times.

“When I crossed to this world, conquering was my goal. Despite the resistance and the spell that locked me into this particular piece of land, I still will proceed with what I was destined to do.” He took another sip. “But you see, as I'm trapped here, I'm not in my full glory. I need you to free me.”

“I would never do it.” Nesta almost snorted with the irony, she was there to do exactly what he wanted and he had no fucking clue.

“Your power is formidable, you’re the only one who can break this spell, and once I'm free, I will assume my place as the King of Prythian. And you, Nesta Archeron…” He paused and Nesta knew that she should expect a completely absurd idea to come out of his mouth, but she had never expected what he said next. “You will be my queen.” 

Nesta choked on her own saliva, a laughter of pure disbelief escaped her mouth and he squinted his eyes like he was offended. He needed a strong female by his side, he had lost his chance with Maeve once, he wouldn’t miss it now.

“I have a mate.” She managed to reply and he rolled his eyes, scoffing like that was irrelevant.

“Mating bonds mean nothing to me, they only serve to make good men weaker.” Nesta couldn’t believe her ears. “And if it matters so much to you, it’s not a problem for me to get rid of that brute you call a mate.” His eyes were glued to hers, in a challenge.

“You won’t touch Cassian.” She blurted, feeling the grip in her emotions slip through her fingers. To her relief, the bathroom door opened loudly and Y/N stepped out of the room, drying her hands on her pants. “You should give her the reward you promised her.” Mantyx leaned closer to Nesta, his lips brushing the shell of her ear as he whispered.

“As powerful as I am, not even I could reverse death.” He placed his index finger in front of his mouth as he leaned backwards, away from her, winking so she would keep his secret. “Come sit with us.” And Y/n did as she was told, her knee bumping against Nesta’s.

The female looked at Y/N, watching as she closed her eyes and placed two fingers on her forehead, their secret sign to tell Nesta that everything was ready. Her eyes scanned the room, spotting the blue symbol made with Y/N’s blood, one on the wall she leaned when she entered, one in the bathroom door and one on the wall behind her, she knew that both Azriel and Lucien had made those while she distracted Mantyx. 

With an iron nail, she started to free Nesta, her body turned towards the male while she tried to keep his focus solely on her. She talked about Asterin, giving random descriptions to keep him entertained, Mantyx pretended the things she said were relevant, but what he really focused on, was the heartbreak and pain she would feel once he told her the truth. Oh the sweet pain of losing again.

Nesta started chanting the words under her breath, the walls of the cabin starting to shake slightly as she repeated the verses from the diary. In a swift movement, Y/N was standing, her hand covered in black blood as she used her nails to rip his throat open. Mantyx looked at her startled, the motion caughting him by surprise. 

Azriel dissipated his shadows, him and Lucien jumping into action, also coating their palms in the blood and rushing to the symbols they made. Nesta’s chanting got louder as she stood in the middle of the room, watching in horror as the wound closed just as quick as it was open. 

“Now!” She instructed and the three of them placed their bloodied hands on the middle of the symbols, the pattern started to glow, and the whole earth shook with the power of those ancient chains that tied him to the lake were finally gone. 

Mantyx got up, opening his arms and welcoming his full power back into his body. The four of them could feel it, the power emanating from him, dread set in their guts, this wasn’t going to be good. Mantyx walked towards Y/N.

“It’s my turn now.” He said, a horrific grin spread across his face when he wrapped his hand around her neck, squeezing the air out of it. “It’s time for my beasts to play.” He snapped his fingers and it was like the darkness had come to life. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Howling started to sound in the distance and the sound of leathery wings filled the air, Cassian shot up to the skies, followed closely by Rhys. They could see the black cloud approaching quickly, by foot, more horrendous creatures ran to them. 

A large tail swung in the cloud, breaking the formation and making a confused mass of black bodies and ripped wings. Meraxes roared loudly, his powerful jaw closing on a bunch of those monsters, that only meant that Koschei was finally free and his family was trapped with that monster. 

“They’re coming.” Rhys yelled and Cassian whistled. His troops breaking formation and shooting up towards the sky, protection from above and the sides, should be enough to keep the Vanserras alive. 

The first wave of monster hit them by foot as Meraxes kept postponing the arrival of the flying beasts, his claws ripping them, his teeth swallowing their rotting flesh and his tail poisoning them, the beasts struggled to keep flying, falling dead as the poison quickly acted. 

Their bodies colliding against the shields, talons trying to find any target, their only motivation was to kill, they didn’t care if they hit each other in the process, as their claws kept digging into each other’s skin, their screeches were agonising to hear. 

Devlon commanded the Illyrians forward, their shields pushing the monsters back and their swords cutting through their flesh, but the monsters pushed forward too, their strength showing as their muscles contracted, trying to break their shields. 

Cassian soared over their heads, his twin blades in each of his hands, decapitating the monsters as the others killed the ones who were able to escape Meraxes. One of the creatures jumped, landing inside the siege, just to be quickly impaled by a sword, the warrior cutting the monster in two.

Rhysand released his shadows, using his power to kill as many as he could, but the waves of monsters seemed endless, Mantyx had all the time in the world to create an army after all. One of the beast’s sharp teeth had sunk in the skin of his arm, making him growl in anger, spinning around, he cut the monster’s head in one movement.  

His violet eyes caught the movement on the other side of the camp. Shining in the sun, the orange feathers of Vassa were beautiful. She squeaked and like a thousand suns, she lit on fire. Her flames finding their target each time, making the beasts shake in despair, moving their bodies around trying to extinguish the fire. Rhysand smiled at her, and with a loud growl, he went back to the brawl.

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

The air was getting cut out, she couldn’t breath, dark orbs flew around in her vision as she felt her consciousness slip away from her reach. She lifted her hand, wrapping her shaking fingers around the key, cold spread across her fingers, it was like her own soul had died. 

At the same time she forced the stone away from him, Nesta had pierced Ataraxia on his arm, forcing him to let go. Y/N fell to the ground, trying to catch her breath, the wyrd key clutched hard on her hand. Mantyx felt the lack of power, looking down to find HIS key in that female’s hand, even with her heavy breathing she smirked at him. 

Rage consumed his body, and he kicked her, Azriel growled in anger, jumping in front of her, using the truth teller to slash across his abdomen, but the wounds closed quickly. Mantyx punched him in the face repeatedly, being stopped by both Nesta and Lucien that held his arms back, pulling him away from Azriel’s bleeding face.

The shadowsinger crouched and took her face in between his hands, worry laced his features as he took in the blue coating her lips as she coughed blood from the kick in her belly. “Are you okay?” He asked, helping her to her feet, she nodded, twisting the band that held the key around her hand and grabbing her sword.

Mantyx was skilled, he dodged both Nesta’s and Lucien’s attempts to land a hit on him, moving gracefully like a swan. He wielded his power like a whip, hitting Lucien and Nesta, making them bleed. Y/N and Azriel joined, and Mantyx turned towards them, smelling the air, he scoffed.

“I told you that mating bonds mean nothing to me, and it will be my pleasure to destroy the one tying you two together.” Azriel lost his focus, feeling all the blood drain from his face, he looked over at her, and like a cruel joke, he felt the tug in his chest, the same he felt the day she went into the cabin for the first time, but now he knew what it was and what it meant. The oblivious female standing by his side was his mate, and when Azriel finally got back to reality, it was too late. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆ 

Elain felt her head dizzy once more, she was hiding behind the trees, Jurian guarding her when she closed her eyes, another vision filled her head, but this time, one she would never want to see again, Azriel cold body on the floor, his lifeless eyes open and facing the ceiling. Elain gasped, cleaning the blood dripping from her nose and looking at Jurian.

“We need to go, Azriel is in danger.” She grabbed Jurian’s hand, pulling the male towards the cabin; she didn’t care about the beasts that still fought with the Illyrians. Jurian opened the way for them, until she reached the dome, looking for Eris, she knew he would help her. 

The male was standing, sweat coating his forehead as he kept using his powers, his eyes turned to her with a curious expression and Elain tried to steady her breath before she  spoke. 

“I NEED TO GET INSIDE.” Elain yelled over the sounds of the battle and Eris shook his head.

“You can’t, Lucien wouldn’t forgive me if I allowed it.” Elain groaned in frustration.

“Eris you don’t understand, Azriel will die if I don't enter right now.” The autumn heir looked at his sister in law, feeling the urgency in her words.

“Just try not to die.” He warned before he opened a small space on the dome, just enough for Elain to cross, followed by Jurian. 

The female ran, crossing the bridge as fast as her feet would allow her, Jurian closely behind her. She reached the door, forcing them open but they didn’t budge. The male joined her, and the two started to force the heavy doors open, the oak woods scraping against the floor.

Elain took in the sight in front of her, Azriel laying on the ground in a pool of his own blood, his organs threatening to spill from the hole in his abdomen. Nesta crouched on the floor next to Azriel, trying to catch her breath. Lucien and Y/N had their backs turned to the two of them, and tried to prevent Koschei from getting closer to Azriel.

The two of them approached Azriel quickly, they needed to get him out before he bleeded out and nothing could be done to reverse his condition. He groaned when they lifted him, and Jurian carried most of his weight, dragging him outside and through the bridge.

Elain helped Nesta, pulling her sister with them and urging the remaining two to get out of the dome. Mantyx knew it was his chance, with his whip of power, he forced Lucien and Y/N backwards, forcing them outside, when they tried to remove the dying male he would get out and be free to conquer Prythian.

Jurian waited with Azriel, his body collapsing on the floor, Elain let go of Nesta, sitting on the floor to steady Azriel’s head on her lap, her hands ripping the fabric of her dress to try and stop the bleeding.

“Lucien, we need a way out.” She screamed and in a second her mate was on her side, his face turned to the dome ready to open. 

Mantyx eyed Y/N, she held her sword against his power, the wyrd key still tied around on her hand, he just needed to get it back before he freed himself. His gaze softened and a lovingly smile graced his features, the whip disappearing as he prepared to talk. 

“If you stop this right now, I'll bring your sister back.” He took a step forwards, slowly walking towards her. “All the pain will be gone in a second, and you will be happy again.” Another step.

Heavy tears fell from her tired eyes, Mantyx still smiled lovingly at her, his eyes however, they were fixed on the wyrd key clutched between her fingers. 

“I can take her back to you, you won’t be alone anymore.” He promised, urging her forward with a slender finger. 

She gave one step forward, her broken heart would finally find peace. A strangled plea for her to stop, to come back to him, sounded from somewhere behind her back but she didn’t listen. 

All she could hear was Asterin’s soft laughter, the wind blew and it was like she could feel her spirit there, watching her. Love poured from the cracks of her heart, love for her sister, for the family they had, for the male bleeding behind her and the friends that welcomed her with open arms. 

She kept walking until she was at arms distance from him, just a few inches closer and he would have what he wanted. 

“Just give me the key, and I’ll bring her back.” His voice was saccharine, laced in false sympathy, like he could actually feel it. 

Burned wood and smoke filled her nostrils, a sparkle of red behind him, and as he reached for the key in her hand, Godslayer pierced his stomach, and from behind him, straight to his heart, Lucien pierced his blade coated in his fire. 

Black blood poured from his open mouth, straight to her face, his eyes wide as whatever that kept him alive started to fade.

“I would never want her back, not like this.” She turned her head backwards to her friends that awaited her, to the male being held by Elain, the male she loved so much and didn't have the courage to tell him. “And I’m not alone anymore.” 

She removed the sword, stepping backwards and allowing Lucien to burn the fucker down. She closed her eyes, hearing the screams and smelling the burning flesh. She turned on her heels, walking towards Azriel and kneeling in front of him. 

“I love you.” She breathed, hands cupping his cheeks and pulling him towards her to kiss him. “I’m so sorry for not saying it earlier.” He groaned. 

“We need to get him to a healer.” Lucien spoke, forcing the dome open so they could cross.

Outside, the bodies of the monsters fell to the ground, without their master to keep them alive, they perished. Cassian and Rhysand ran to them, helping Jurian carry Azriel back. 

“We have to get him back to Velaris.” Rhys said, and Cassian nodded, the male winnowed, disappearing with his brother. The rest of them would stay back to get everything in order. 

“Are you okay?” Nesta said, her body slumping against Y/N. 

“No, but once he is okay, I'll be.” She replied. Mantyx had said he was her mate, both her heart and her brain confused on what it even meant. 

“Do you still want to go home?” Nesta inquired and Y/N turned to her, sorrow laced her features. 

“I have to.” And with that, she left to find Meraxes. 

⋆˙⟡☾𖤓☽ ⟡˙⋆

Taglist: @fieldofdaisiies @blackgirlmagicforever @a-frog-with-a-laptop @going-through-shit @asweetblueberry2

@roses-r-red54330 @mis-lil-red @sheblogs @hibye02 @impossibelle

@glitterypirateduck @zeroangelo13 @sekiro1310 @nelapeach14 @annamariereads16

@just-here-reading @celestialend @donttellthecats @scatteredstardustt @snoopyspace

@asterinblacksword @tsumudoll @georginat12 @skyjasper @anuttellaa

@willowpains @quinzzelx @amysangel @fightmedraco @puttyly

@lees-chaotic-brain @thisblogisaboutabook @esposadomd @stained-glass-eyes0708 @brujitafantomatico

@a-cup-of-nightshade @faridathefairy @bubybubsters @krowiathemythologynerd @joey-hoey

@acourtofdreamsandshadows @mendes-bae

[brucewaynehater101]

Running over here to give an idea spawned from binging Pretty Cure transformations

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

The Drakes uncover artifacts on land once owned by their very own ancestors, to which they are the closest related descendents of

This gives them the absolute rights to distribution, and considering they spend less time with Tim than desirable, it's gifted to their boy in hopes of bonding with him through their ancestry

The last thing Tim expected upon opening the vintage birdcage was for the perch to swing and the sudden appearance of an bearded vulture flying out and soaring all over the room

Even stranger? The bird looked like it came out of a painting, from the brushstrokes to the exaggerated colors, like, its feathers were a wine red instead of red-orange one would expect

Oh, and the cheering—"Free! I'm free! Child, did you free me from my prison? Splendid! Spendid! I can cast revenge on those dastard Drakes at long last! Long last!"

Unfortunately for birdie here, they've been imprisoned for so long that any Drakes who imprisoned them are long dead

Remaining descendents are all innocent in this conflict

"A shame, a shame indeed, but now that I no longer fear them, and you too are ignorant of why they did not pass down their evil, I should give thanks to you."

"Tell me your Deepest Dream, and I'll isee if we can fulfill it."

Introducing Mes'Dremere, a painting granted life by magics long ago

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

I haven't developed quite a backstory, I'll leave it to you guys to brainstorm, but this vulture (they/them) isn't going to be having any beef with living Drakes since their sworn enemies died long ago

More trivia, their name is a blend of Mesmerize and Dream

They are far from the only magical being to slip through the cracks and go unknown for so long

Tim Drake, descended from a line with the power to ensnare one of Mes'Dremere's power, is a canary in the coalmine so to speak, seeing strange beings that appear to do nothing, but attach themselves to practically everyone, even Batman

And with every rogue attack, every act of corruption, and especially Arkham Breakouts they only grow more numerous

He can even photograph them

"This isn't my Deepest Dream, I still need to figure it out, but can you tell me if there's a monster on this man's head, or if I'm just hallucinating?"

"To think, to think, I would ever see such a thing again. My boy, an awful, awful evil has beat me here, such that it will cast this place into a greater despair than ever seen before, before."

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

Hollowing Wish, entities as older than Mes'Dremere; they seek personhood, purpose, dreams and the will to go forward by feeding from unprotected and unsuspecting victims, so that they may finally end their everlasting hopelessness

But saying they are eating victims into depression isn't true. When someone, for example, expresses willpower, they release an energy the Hollowing Wish will then consume. A junk food compared to getting it from the source, right inside. It's not enough for them

Pursuing a fruitless path to ending their plights, Hollowing Wishes take but never give to even themselves, only continuing the ever downwards spiral

victims can include but are not exclusive to: people, animals, and objects granted oh so much love and care

Regarding the last one, objects have a dense core inside them of all the deeply held feelings towards them, whilst surrounding it are the passing feeling people have for it

In the rare case of a Wish attaching to a target for so long, the two will become one, becoming something that could be mistaken for a meta, alien or something else---this form is a Nightmare Awakening

they unleash their pain and greedily keep their happiness locked away in their head in a desperate bid to hold into the remains being sapped away from the brain---until the target is reduced to a hollowed husk with nothing left within

As for the Hollowing Wish? they fucjing combust since taking in joy fresh from the fruit pulp instead of the juice is more than they're built to contain, leading to surrounding area and beings being entrenched in brief happiness, and then an onslaught of magical despair until the magical despair in the area and people dries up over time

What is it that causes them to spawn? Who migrated here, bringing their anguish with them?

The Hollowing Wish is an extension of a will, a will in even greater despair---Praying For a Forever Demise

"To think it was a Forever Dream they prayed for long ago, but then, but then?"

"Their unending praying manifested into a terrible, terrible demise . . . a name so long is easier to call Praying. It too serves well enough in reminding us how we got here, does it not, does it not?"

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

More tethered to the physical plane as one born into it, Tim is offered the power to become a hero himself, specialized to fight against the Hollowing Wishes

But he's just a fanboy! Wouldn't Batman or even Robin be better?

"Speaking from personal experience, he seems like far the man who would let these practices into his life, even with him having no other choice, no choice."

"Besides, besides, Robin must have his plate full, plate full. What better way to express your love for the Bats, than to ease their burdens, no matter how thankless, how thankless?"

"His own body can only go so far, hold so much, so much magic indeed."

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

The streets have begun to talk of a boy . . .

"Magical Boy!" "Do you think Gotham is some kind of Sailor Moon episode?"

A boy without a mask yet crusading as the Bats do. Unrecognized like them; magic it must be

"I'm Dreaming of Robin," he says he is, "but I've never met Robin or Batman yet."

Colloquially, Dreaming Robin or Dream(s) Robin

He's found where the Bats won't be, putting a stop to crime, giving thankless aid, and other acts of public service

But stranger is that which he grants and insists people keep around their house for protection

Blank photographs that upon touch become depictions of the little things that grant a bit more joy

And less pressure on their shoulders

By Dreaming Robin's side is a vulture, a guardian calling themself Mes'Dremere

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

Magical Boy Dreaming of Robin, Tim Drake. What does his arsenal hold? Listen Right Up!

[Materialized Eternity] is the ability to utilize photographs Tim takes by pouring his magic into his photos of choice

Say for example that Tim photographed Nightwing quadruple backflipping, a feat impossible for Drake

If Tim puts magic into that picture and he has it on his person, he will be able to reenact that quad-backflip just like Nightwing did, but doing so will drain the magic in the photo like a battery

After running out, the picture would need to be recharged on magic to be put to use again

That's just one way Tim can use the magic

[Lasting Photoshoot] the ability to pause time on entities and an area right after Tim takes a photo of for a short period of time

[Merry Memory] is the power to take a blank photograph and enchant it to protect people from magic by taking the image of something they love. It's Tim's go-to for defending people and himself from Hollowing Wishes

[Realization in Reach], Realization for short, is a magical staff and his primary weapon, as it can channel Tim's latent magical powers along with his gifted ones.

While feasible as a physical weapn, it gives Tim's magic more strength and a much wider area of effect. Emphasis on the more strength which Tim has to be careful about

[Forever Remember] is the power to photograph a Hollowing Wish that Tim defeats and thus seal them permanently within those photos

Photoed Wishes can be weaponized against other Wishes and Nightmares to make them fight for the same resources they crave. When weaponized wishes run dry, unlike Eternities, those Wishes effectively die and cease to exist

the photo becomes blank, and can picture something else

Tim also has safes with as much scientific and magical security employed, storing albums with Hollowing Wishes and Materialized Eternities to swap out 

Now for The Best Part yet!

"My Deepest Dream, I'll make you true!" A heirloom locket holding Tim's most precious photo of Robin he's ever taken, it is his chosen transformation item

(here's to hoping it never gets taken away due to that very picture within, because Tim won't be the only person fucked over by it)

As a rule of thumb, Dreaming Robin's outfit, his arsenal, and the photos he gives to protect against Hollowing Wishes all look like they came out of a painting, specifically what you get when googling "mystical painting"

Tim does learn some other magics that can be used to fight against Hollowing Wishes, Nightmare Awakenings and purify an area and people suffering the affereffects of a Hollowing Wish exploding and spreading their despair everywhere

Yeah Tim is gonna angst every time he fails to save a Nightmare Awakening before it's too late for them, poor him :(

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

In unrelated news? Tim has himself a pet too well trained, yet several times proven unabused and pampered

American Robin Dreams Come True 'Dreams' who people swear came from a painting despite their vibrant feathers being so picturesque, and vibrantly red all naturally

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

Gotham is yet again the source of insanity. That being strange monsters that abruptly show themselves to people before forcibly turning them into monsters

Thankfully, Dreaming of Robin always comes to save the day

Hollowing Wishes, he calls these monsters

Nightmare Awakenings, the victims are named

₊˚ ‿︵‿୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿ ˚₊

Some extra deets

Haha depression go brrrr

Praying For a Forever Demise is like this due to how much anguish, and hollowness they hold, and the desire for joy they want &/or used to have

Maybe they got their depression all naturally, or maybe magical shenanigans lead to them possessing an ungodly amount of it inside of them idk, maybe a blend of both

But yeah, Praying is only going to put to a stop when help and empathy is placed in front of them, and the shot of a happy dream everlasting is finally in reach

Also uh, Praying isn't wholly aware of wtf is going on outside of their head as they stew in their despair, with the rare blips of hope provided by Hollowing Wishes

Their situation is similar to a powerful deity unaware of their godhood and untrained into their powers which need to actively be restrained, but that has evidently not happened

so yeah, they're unknowingly spreading their depression everywhere

Or maybe they have come to awareness that spreading Hollowing Wishes is what they're doing and have compartmentalized that, it doesn't stop their depression from being worse nor even more Wishes spawning but willful ignorance is intoxicating

idk how they traveled to Gotham either lol, but they're dead center in Arkham Asylum, and with it being the new source for Hollowing Wishes, its gonna became way, way worse than in canon

Also prior to being Praying For a Forever Demise, they were Praying For a Forever Dream, do with this knowledge what you will

Are other Drake artifacts magical as well? You decide!

For clarification, Tim's magical boy alias, "Dreaming of Robin" is maybe an accident where he just states that "yeah I dream of Robin, he's my hero" but people thought he was stating his name so it stuck

Or maybe he intentionally introduces himself like that for the symbolic name

Mes'Dremere employs a whitelist geass preventing people from finding out Tim is Dream Robin unless they're whitelisted

I'm thinking that Tim could accidentally snatch up future Waynes into his team, and under Mes' tutelage, Stephanie, Duke, Cassandra and maybe even Damian

I think Jason, after dying and reviving, and he alongside Damian due to the Lazarus Pits, would be especially vulnerable to Hollowing Wishes, so woof

Side note, I think Tim would offer Jason-as-Robin the chance to become a Magical Boy with him, only for him to decline and after resurrection thinking

"I should've taken the Magical Boy route when I had the chance," lmao

Idk if Tim would still become a Teen Titan here, but it'd be neat if all of the Young Justice core four and maybe more became/joined the magical boy & girl team

Since Arkham is a breeding ground of Hollowing Wishes, people there are the least likely to become Nightmare Awakenings since they all have countless Hollowing Wishes attached to them

that means several Wishes are fighting for resources against eachother to sap up expressed will/joy/accomplishments etc.

Because they're fighting over the same person, often dying in the process and others joining the fray in fighting over their victims, they often make little progress in making way to becoming Nightmare Awakenings

So yeah, where as Batman and the clan will be more focussed on their rogues, Tim is more worried about normies who are more likely to fall victim to Hollowing Wishes

That being said, he doesn't wanna see a rogue or bat become a Nightmare Awakening, so he gives them both tons of Merry Memories and get rid of as many Hollowing Wishes on them as he can

And he's rightfully afraid, all hell will break loose if they subcumb to Nightmarehood

Feel free but not pressured to expand on this as you all wish

A magical boy Tim AU? Hell yeah.

Some additional ideas to add:

Tim's outfit comes from the culture present at the time of when Mes'Dremere was imprisoned. Tim has absolutely no choice in this matter, which is an initial point of contention. However, it eventually becomes a point of pride and comfort

The culture is one specific to this AU (so there's no cultural appropriation). Similar to Atlantis, Krypton, and other lost societies, Tim starts to discover their practices, rituals, customs, etc when he's trying to connect to his roots (since it's also the culture of his ancestors).

Jason rejects becoming a magical boy because he's "a literature nerd, not that kind of nerd." Tim's a little offended by this, but they get over it quickly. Jason also grumbles when he gets the All Caste because he ended up becoming a magical boy anyways, just without the transformation scene.

There can be angst added where Jason says Robin is magic so he doesn't need to become a magical boy. Then Jason dies and ends up getting All Caste.

Tim ends up learning a lot about psychology as a nonmagical way to help people as well. If there are fewer depressive symptoms, there's less for the Hollowing Wishes to feed on. Also, mental health techniques/coping mechanisms can delay the progression into a Nightmare Awakening.

The YJ core don't end up becoming magical boys/girls except for Bart. They do team up, though, and Tim helps a lot in battles even when there aren't Hollowing Wishes.

Cass would definitely vibe with becoming a magical girl since there's no killing. She'd probably do both the magical girl routine and become a Bat cause she's awesome like that

Would Damian view the Wishes as creatures?

Tim is able to form a different type of friendship with Zatana, Raven, and Anita due to his magical status. He also likes to call up Constantine to bother the poor bastard (it's funny to him).

[thelazycorset]

A Glimpse of Us

Geto x gn!Reader The reader is a sorcerer, with a unique domain

You inhaled deeply, enjoying every second of the time you have. A strong musky fragrance tickled your nose, with a hint of gunpowder and something that smelled like the ocean. You threaded your fingers through the silky, dark hair, eliciting a sweet hum from its owner.

You smiled, eyes still closed as you felt his arms hook around your waist, pulling you even closer.

“Gosh, I love you.”, he said, voice deep but so, so sweet.

You opened your eyes to find his already staring at you.

“I love you too, Suguru.”

He smiled, but it was tinged with pain. He knew that this time he had with you wasn’t going to last forever. It was going to end painfully; physically for him, and emotionally for you.

“Don’t look at me like that, Suguru.”, you sighed, wanting to make the most of the little time you had.

He immediately corrected himself and smiled, truly happily.

“I’m sorry.”

You held back tears as you leaned over to kiss his forehead, the scar from those hideous stitches scratching against your lips.

You held him there, lips against his scars, hands in his hair, as you allowed yourself to feel all the emotions that had been piling up inside your chest.

Suguru held you as you sobbed, hating himself for having to put you through this pain.

But he had to do this, for the sake of the people he loved the most.

And sadly, the only one who could help him end this misery, was the one person he loved the most.

You.

He nudged you to look at him, and held your tear streaked cheek as he spoke.

“I’m so sorry, my love…”, he said, voice lowering, “But it’s time.”

You sucked in a breath, and nodded.

You knew this is why you were here. It was comfortable, but agonising.

It had been a while since you had heard about Geto’s death. You were heartbroken and destroyed. But you somehow made it through the agonising nights and drab days.

Everything was finally going well, when he walked in through the door.

You saw him, standing so tall and alive, that you almost thought that you must have been dreaming.

But then you felt him.

The presence that had taken over your beloved’s body. A curse so evil and strong, that it almost overshadowed Geto’s energy.

You just stared at him, feeling the time around you freeze.

You hadn’t been in contact with anybody from jujutsu high for quite a while. The last time you spoke to Gojo, you had fought, during Geto's funeral.

The man, who was a mix of two sorcerers, turned to look at you, sensing your gaze. He seemed perplexed. 

You couldn’t read his face. He looked nonchalant, until you saw a sliver of shock.

He smiled at you, a crooked grin, as he said, “It’s been so long, y/n”

That’s when you broke out of the momentary spell, and gulped, choking out a feeble, “Yeah.”

Kenjaku cursed himself for running into one of Geto’s old buddies. He could sense the slight unease his body felt the moment he saw you looking at him, shock and an unknown expression on your face. He could remember your name, but for whatever reason, he couldn’t remember anything else about you.

He found it strange. It was almost as if Geto was purposefully keeping information from him.

But that was impossible, wasn’t it? Mahito had assured him that no traces of Geto remained in this body.

“You’re going to have to die now..”, he mumbled to himself, planning to lure you outside and get rid you in an alleyway; somewhere out of sight.

“Why don’t we head out of this cafe?”, he said, the smile ever-present.

“Why?”, you asked, not trusting him. You knew he was an enemy if he had taken over Geto’s body, but you couldn’t cause trouble here. The place was packed with people. And a fight here would mean many would get injured, if not worse.

“You know what, it’s been so long.”, you chimed quickly, “Sure, let’s get out of here.”

That’s how you got here, in your domain. Your domain separated the soul from the body. Any soul that enters, takes a form that it is most comfortable with. In this domain, everything is transparent. There are no lies, and everything is seen, including all the scars your soul has gathered throughout this lifetime.

This allowed you to talk to Geto, his soul. He explained everything that had happened, and how he needed you to do him a big favour. A favour that he hoped nobody would ever have to go through; to kill the person you love.

Your domain didn’t let Kenjaku enter, as you had control over whom to allow in. He remained on the edge, an area that was just outside the real world, but not fully inside your domain.

If you decided to let him enter, he would be equally as powerful as you and geto, which was fairer than in the real world, as Geto had little to no control there.

In your heart, you held a lot of love for Suguru. When your souls entered the domain, you felt the scar on your chest, a reflection of the hurt your heart had felt when he passed.

You were both selfish, utilising this time to express your love to each other, and mutter those promises that had been left unsaid back then. That’s how you found yourself lying next to him on a silk bed, with sounds of birds and nature singing you awake from outside the window of the quaint house you were in.

It was all fake. 

A mere figment of your imaginations; a glimpse of the life you both had wanted.

“Is it already time for us to go?”, you whispered, scared to let go. You wouldn’t mind exhausting all your energy in keeping this domain up, if it meant that you could spend more time here, with him.

He chuckled, kissing you.

“It is, I’m afraid.”

You nodded, looking down. You had to do this. This is what he wanted. He just wanted to die, peacefully.

With a flick of your wrist, you changed the scene.

The house was gone, so was your bed. The sheets you both had spent hours shuffling were replaced by a darkness, everlasting and endless.

He stood a few feet from you, smiling, hope in his eyes.

That’s when you realised just how tired he was.

He looked forward to death.

“Okay.”, you whispered, a sad smile on your face.

“I loved you Geto. I always will.”

A flame rose in his chest, eating away at him.

That’s when you closed the domain, merging kenjaku and Suguru’s soul in that split second.

In the real world, you saw Geto bend over, clutching his chest.

He looked up at you, eyes wide, “What the fuck have you done?!”

“Rest in peace, Suguru.”, you said, a tear escaping.

“And I hope you go to hell.”

You watched him collapse to the ground, flames engulfing his body.

This time, you will see it through.

This time, you wont leave early.

This time, you will ensure that’s its a final goodbye.

[3months2mordor]

On Hobbits and Existential Dread

or Why “The Scouring of the Shire” is the True Climax of The Lord of the Rings

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Or more accurately, there lived a human who had been in hard COVID quarantine for six months and certainly felt like a hobbit, what with all the staying inside and eating second breakfast and trying her best to ignore the world, which seemed in the summer of 2020 to be spiraling towards something unknown. And she, well I, was packing for college. On an impulse that I cannot explain except to say that I had previously binge watched all the movies in my seemingly infinite quaran-time, I packed a large red volume of JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings with the intention to read it over the course of the semester.

What began as a simple personal challenge to read a chapter a night instead of doom scrolling on Twitter became a profound experience not only in terms of discovering that my parents were right in saying the book was actually really good, but also in realizing that the Hobbits, in their edenic Shire perched on the edge of a world about to enter catastrophe, were more like me, more like a lot of us, than Aragorn or the Elves or Dwarves or Men who people Middle Earth. And here is why the chapter at the very end of the last book where the Shire is nearly destroyed is so very, very important.

Tolkien takes careful time in his books to establish the attitudes and habits of his hobbits who live in pastoral harmony in near complete isolation from the rest of the world. They are content with what they have and don’t have the greed that drives Dwarves to dig, or the ambition that drives Men to war, or even the worship of nature that drives Elves deep into their forests to protect them. They build their hobbit holes, smoke what is definitely pot, and eat and drink heartily. They care little for news of the outside world and tend their fields instead. That’s it.

But the world does not cease to exist just because they want it to. It never does.

As Gandalf warns in Rivendale, “We are sitting in a fortress. Outside it is growing dark.” (Part 1 Book 2 Chapter 1).

Regardless of how much the hobbits might ignore the coming of the Dark Lord Sauron and the existential threat that is his attempt to control the world, it will not go away. They will not be safe from the darkness just because they want to be and they have a supply of candles in the cupboard. And so, at the start of the story, evil comes to the Shire in the form of the Black Riders and Frodo, our hero, must leave to keep the Shire safe from the forces of darkness. Still Frodo is just a hobbit, albeit a brave one. So he laments to Gandalf, “I wish it need not have happened in my time” and Gandalf replies “So do I, and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” (Part 1 Book 1 Chapter 2).

I feel this quote more deeply every year. A deep childish wish for things to exist as we expected them to be, but a solemn and more mature knowledge that Gandalf is right. That our time has already been given to us. All that we have left is what we do to make that time matter.

But back to Frodo, who takes a good seventeen years to heed this advice, but eventually sets off on an adventure to save the Shire which, spoiler alert, ultimately saves the world. Along the way people despair and seem to lose hope. Theoden, recovering from a spell that robbed him of agency and clearsightedness, cries “Alas! That these evil days should be mine, and should come in my old age instead of that peace which I have earned” (Part 2 Book 3 Chapter 6). Even Sam, in his darkest hour thinking he has lost Frodo for good, groans “I wish I wasn’t the last. I wish old Gandalf was here, or somebody. What am I left all alone to make up my mind? I’m sure to go wrong” (Part 2 Book 4 Chapter 10).

Yet despite it all the One Ring is destroyed and the King returns and good wins. Everything is set right and our heroes get a chance to rebuild the world rather than watch it crumble. They get to go home.

Now this is a fine story and one I desperately needed amongst all of the *everything* going on in 2020. However it is not the ending that stuck with me. For you see once Frodo and his companions return home, the Shire is not the same place they left it.

The Shire, in their year long absence, has descended into a despotic police state run by a wealthy, privileged hobbit who stays in his hole rather than try to help his people as Men, who tower over the hobbits, and are specifically and on multiple occasions called bullies, abuse their power. They use their strength to take food and (let’s face it) weed from the hobbits, desecrate their land with deforestation and pollution, and create a state of fear and paranoia that anyone could be taken at any moment to prison without trial after only a mere whiff of seditious behavior. The world has come to the hobbits and they are so paralyzed with fear that they are unable to do anything other than sit in their hobbit holes and keep their heads down, hoping that they and their families will make it through.

Now, Frodo and his companions, having seen the change that can be wrought from people who stand up to bullies and fight to make a difference, see the state of their home and immediately understand the despair their friends and neighbors have fallen into because they too have felt it. These are the hobbits who faced thousands of orcs and rode in battle and walked to Mount Doom with only each other to lean on and they know how deeply despair of impossible odds can affect someone. But they have also learned that that despair is not inevitable. They saw the Ents on their last march when Treebeard said it was “likely enough that we are going to our doom… But if we stayed at home and did nothing the doom would find us anyway, sooner or later. That thought has been long growing in our hearts; and that is why we are marching now” (Part 2 Book 3 Chapter 4). They saw the Rohirrim ride to battle against impossible odds because it was the right thing to do. They saw even the most pitiful Gollum play his part in saving the world. And they saw the Eagles fly in to help carry the day.

There’s always hope if there’s something worth fighting for.

And so, back in the Shire which was not the Shire they knew but still the one they love, the four heroic hobbits do what had once seemed impossible: they get the hobbits, in their apathy and terror and existential despair, to stand up and fight. And it’s hard, and people die, and it gets worse before it gets better, but in the end the bullies are run off and the hobbits are victorious and they begin to rebuild, not just their homes but their forests and their relationships with each other too.

The hobbits, and me really, wanted to curl up in their holes and hope the world would go away. And sometimes, God, that seems like it’s the only thing you can do when darkness is spreading far on the horizon and it keeps creeping closer but isn’t here yet. But Sauron is not the scariest thing in this book. Tolkien’s real villain was the fear and despair that can paralyze you to stay in your hole until the Shire is burning around you. Yet even the most comfortable and secure hobbits have to stand up and face the world because if we don't, no one else will.

There is a reason Frodo is able to see the mission to the end. And it’s not that he’s exceptional in the way other heroes are. No. In fact it is because he is unexceptional and unambitious and also uncompromising that the deed is able to be done. He, like the hobbits he helps at the end of the series, has to get up and work to fight the evil that hurts people every day. And Frodo doesn’t save the hobbits of the Shire; they save themselves. Then they rebuild. They grow things again, not better, not the same, but they have to go on living. And, I don’t know, I needed to realize that.

We aren’t Aragorn with a throne and a legendary sword and a destiny to be king, we aren’t the Elves with their centuries of knowledge and skills, we aren’t the Dwarves with their mountain holds to hide in. Heck, we’re not even Frodo, or at least I’m not. There’s no way I could handle a walk that long. We’re the hobbits. We see the existential wave of dread and terror that is coming and our instinct to hide from it, to hold it off as long as we can and then silently accept it when it comes. Because what can one little halfling do against a thing like that?

But even the hobbits of the Shire stand up eventually. Even hobbits can take that dread for a bleak future and turn around and create new life. There’s a reason why the symbol of the Shire returning to peace and throwing off the yolk of oppression is a tree. The bullies cut down Bilbo’s old one and it can’t come back. But Sam plants a new one anyway and hopes it will grow.

I’m reading the Lord of the Rings again before this election as I did last time. But this time I’m not alone. I’m reading it with friends. I marked passages like the ones above that made me think but also ones that made me laugh because there is joy in amongst the shadows and if we cannot find those moments it’s hard to keep looking for the light. In rewatching The Two Towers film the other day I was struck, as I usually am, by Sam’s speech at the end of the movie, based on one he gives in “The Stairs of Cirith Ungol.” I think it bears quoting in full.

Sam: It’s all wrong By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened. But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?

Sam : That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.

Hobbits are remarkable people, Tolkien says, and I hope we are too. I hope we can get through this by raising up our own Shires full of hobbit warriors to face the world and not lie down and give up. Because if everyone did that there would still be a One Ring and Sauron would rule forever.

But we have to save the Shire. It’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. We have to believe that. I have to. I will do my part to make sure it does, but first I have to believe it’s possible. We have to take that existential terror and turn it into righteous fury because we have seen what a shadow can do and we cannot let it spread again. We have been there. But we will not go back again.

[lvlyghost]

Salvation III

Pairings: John Price x F!Reader

Summary: after a few months since his last visit, John finally gets the chance to see the girl.

Word Count: 1.4k

Tw: hurt with a lot of comfort. John being a softie, lots of trauma. 3rd pov. another foreshadowing to 'the things i never said' it's all connected. As usual lots of grammar mistakes and not proofread 👻🌸

A/N: sorry this took so long to get out, this mini-series was supposed to only have one part yet here we are. don't know if there'll be more. let's see 🤠✨💞

Masterlist✨

"You've seen it right?" She asks, crossing her arms. John stares straight ahead, at the screen of his computer. The videos have long finished yet he can't find the words to describe the atrocities he's witnessed. It's not like he hasn't seen evil before. But that right there was hell on earth. He inhales deeply. "Are we going?" The sergeant blinks rapidly, waiting for an answer.

"I'm certain I won't be dragging you to another mission. Unless I want Simon to actually kill me this time." Leaning back in his chair, John ponders about the possibilities. It was a risky mission but then again, what mission wasn't? He couldn't just ignore what he just saw. There was no way he'd stay out of this one, stay behind and watch some other team fail. They had one shot, no do-overs.

He set up a meeting with Laswell that evening. A café near Piccadilly to inform her regarding his decision.

One month after he was visiting her for the first time since he rescued her. She was placed in a room inside the NCA headquarters awaiting for the next interrogation.

God he hated bureaucracy.

"Heard from one of the ladies you like these."

She looks up from the book in her lap. Her eyes glimmer with appreciation and surprise. That was another golden rule. No men were allowed near her quarters. She didn't hate them but as a result of everything she endured she preferred to not have them coming unannounced; it triggered something within her. But for some unknown reason she had decided to let him in. When the lady that was now more like a friend to her than a simple officer, told her that Captain John Price wanted to ask for permission –her permission– to visit her.

She knew that name now. How could she not?

The man that had set her free from calvary. She immediately said yes.

He was dressed all in black from head to toe. The bucket hat he wore the day he saved her was replaced by a beanie.

"I do." She whispers, standing up and coming to approach him although hesitantly at first.

A stark contrast between them, she was wearing white pants and a white shirt.

Made her think of darkness and light.

"They treating you good?" He asks, handing out the flowers to her. She looks in awe, beautiful pink and purple hydrangeas.

"Yes." She answered dumbfounded. Her cheeks slightly burning at the gesture. John slides his hands in his pockets. "These are beautiful, thank you Captain." Her eyes flutter when she raises her head.

"Just John, love. No need for formalities here." Her lips part. Heart swelling with something unknown. John was kind, and had a soothing presence. "What are you listening to?" The soft music comes back to her eardrums, struggling to form a coherent thought.

"Umm, I- I think it's called 'to get away' it's... calming... quite different from the blink-182 songs I used to like." Turning on her heels she approaches the small table next to her bed where she places the flowers down then motions him to sit on the couch, he obliges, arms resting on his knees as she sits cross legged across from him. "Sorry I wasn't expecting to see you here."

He nods.

"Yeah, neither did I." he's playing with his thumbs, eyes never leaving her, who's chewing down her lip as a nervous manner.

"So... what brought you here? Did they tell you to come?" A small part of her couldn't help but be a little defensive. And John couldn't blame her for that.

"No." He was quick to answer. "It's not that." He shakes his head, taking a deep breath. The dimly lit room feels almost warm with her in here. Almost. Considering where they are. John didn't have an actual answer. Why hadn't he gone home after the mission was completed? Just like he would've any other day. "Guess some things just stick with you."

She hums, pondering John's words.

"I'm happy you're here, you know?" A smile spreads on her face. "Wasn't sure if I'd see you again."

He chuckles, face warming at her words.

"Would that be so bad, sweetheart? To never see me again."

"It would. I don't think I can thank you enough for what you and your team did." Standing up from the bed she opens a drawer, it takes a few seconds, she's rummaging around. Then from a well hidden worn out book, she takes a folded white sheet, although white wasn't quite the word he'd use. It was old, probably had it tucked away for a long time.

"This means a lot to me." The girl walks slowly where John sits. Looking down the paper as if she's remembering something. Someone. "Josie drew it. Said she believed one day we'd be free." Tears begin to collect in the corner of her eyes. "Only one of us made it." She hands him the piece of paper. John's dead serious, taking it with gentle hands as if it was the most fragile thing he ever laid hands on. He then unfolds it, eyes scanning the colorful patterns of pink and yellow. His heart shatters for the girl. Next thing he knows, is that small arms embrace him. He's taken aback but recovers quickly, hugging her so tightly like she probably never has been in a good while. "And I'm sure she'd be happy if you have it."

He doesn't have kids of his own. Don't even know if he ever will. One thing's for sure.

He'd call his daughter Josie.

-

It's the smell of homemade food that wakes him up from the deep sleep. He walks down the short hallway and to the kitchen. She's already pouring lunch in two big plates.

"Is that pasta?" His voice groggy from sleep. She turns her head, wide-eyed.

"You know for a man who's built like you, you sure are silent." Price chuckles, scratching his beard. "It's quite late, thought you'd be hungry. You looked tired so..." she shrugs. "Didn't want to disrupt your dream."

He sits down on the kitchen stool, as she places the food in front of him.

"Haven't slept this good in years." She takes a seat next to him. "Could get used to it."

She tries to hold back a smile but fails.

"Me too." She answers. "I mean that I could get used to the company."

John turns to see her, draping his left arm right above the backrest where she sits.

"Come with me." He pleads. Leaning closer towards her form. She's dumbfounded, jaw slacking as she meets his blue eyes. John presses a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I can keep you safe."

"Will they allow it? I- I want to, more than anything." She breathes out. There's something electrifying in the air between the two. Something none can explain.

"I could pull some strings." He assures. "Once this all comes to an end; and I promise we nearly got them, love. I'll take care of you, as long as you'll have me."

Her heart flutters at the thought of going home to John. His home. She'd welcome him every time he walked past the doorway, cook the best food for him. Get to see him every night and sleeping by his side, feel the warm touch of his hands in her bare skin. The only man she'd let come close enough to see it all. She lifts her hand absentmindedly, stroking his brown locks. A shaky breath leaving her mouth; the sound of birds outside and and car being parked. Officer Davis' midday visit, probably bringing another stack of books for her to read. The pumpkin bread she had ready for him to take for his daughters.

"Is forever a long time?"

John breathes deeply. She smells like cinnamon and comfort. The undeniable truth that she wormed her way into his heart so deep he doesn't want to let go; can't remember his life before that gloomy day in Bulgaria.

Before her.

"Not at all."

[dreamingmantis]

So here are some of my imaginings of what could have happened with human star. This isn’t a full rewrite (in case it seems choppy), just me rambling about many of the ideas I had. Though, I may write some of these. But please, ask or talk to me about it. It's so much fun to imagine. This is a long post, so I've put the rest under the cut. ✨

Some people have mentioned Star being mute. I’m not sure if they are actually referencing the star we got in the movie, so I’m just going to say that his voice is the last thing he finds in his humanoid form, and that he does in fact, mime things. If he talks, it's very little.

I want to know more about Asha’s father and her relationship with him. He seemed to be some sort of philosopher or astronomer. He drew maps, and he always recognized a certain star that only appeared at certain times of the year, right above the castle, and moved in an arc over it with the Earth's rotation. He called it the wishing star. You know, the star. He had a powerful wish too—one that he gave to King Magnifico before he tragically passed. But, he doesn't have full control over the wishes... yet. The wishes of those who have passed ascend to the stars, where they hold them safe.

Perhaps she's already known about his evil intent, even though no one else does. I'd also like to see more of Asha's flaws. If she's caring or people pleasing to a fault, I almost want to see it cause a problem. Maybe she accidentally impedes on something important and completely messes it up, possibly even the wish ceremony in an attempt to get her grandpa's wish granted (to inspire future generations). It would give more impact before she runs into the woods and sings This Wish. (just please don't say "throw caution to every warning sign" cause... what?)

Do you know the concept art of when Star first comes down to Earth? I think after Star's light envelopes the island, he would awaken in the forest, confused as to why he is so far from home. Asha finds him, and of course, is equally confused. He sees her and slowly realizes that she is the one who called him down and that he's on Earth.

I would want to see lots of shapeshifting here. There could be a song as he slowly gives his magic to the trees and the animals that explains who exactly he is, and by extension, how the galaxies, planets, and life are formed. He personally knows many of the stars we know about (you know, like Spica or Arcturus). In fact, when she tells him about her seven friends, he is reminded of seven stars he knows deeply, the Pleiades (his guiding constellation). She knows about them because her father showed her.

I think that concept would also give more depth and lore to King Magnifico’s sorcery. What he keeps in his room are akin to chemistry experiments, if you will, so it’s clear that he practices some sort of alchemy. He could have only retrieved magic like this from the cosmos, possibly the life force of the stars. She asks him if he can grant her grandfather’s wish. He shakes his head or signals. He can't. And of course, he doesn’t know or have the wish. King Magnifico is in possession of it.

Imagine they fly, like a Peter Pan-esque way (or maybe in the end, because they have to stay hidden). I want her to talk more about her father. Maybe he has an observatory. If the stars need to align a certain way for Magnifico to perform an ultimate spell, one of the keys to stopping him would be there.

He's still naive to exactly what's going on, yet he imparts wisdom, almost by accident, that make Asha realize. Since he isn't fully familiar with humans and their world, he probably messes with some items he sees and definitely knocks some things over. (I don’t know why but I imagined him hiding inside a jar.) But he's so fascinated by the smallest things in the world. Asha doesn't want him to be seen because she knows they'll be in deep trouble, but what if Star runs off out of curiosity and impresses a small crowd of people with his magic tricks. But of course, someone goes to pass along the word and soon enough, it'll reach Magnifico. I'm sure he wants to meet her friends too, but she has to try to hide him as she interacts with them and maneuvers her way up the castle.

I want the idea of humans being like stars of our own to slowly come to light over the story rather than in one song. Star can see all the wishes in people’s hearts, like the cores of stars. He can see each person for who they truly are at the core of their beings, in their purest forms. He wants to show her at some point, so, he takes her hands. And he feels a profound love for the first time. He feels the love she has in her heart for her family and her. For the first time, he can see where the wishes he hears come from, because...

After everything, Asha and Star finally reach the castle and find all the wishes. Star instantly recognizes their forms. And here, Asha finally sees the wishes of her family—her mother, her grandfather. But one is missing. Some people have died never knowing their wishes they gave to King Magnifico. Star has seen and held them before, because the wishes of those who have passed ascend to the stars, where they hold them safe. That includes Asha’s late father’s. And Star is the one holding it safe. So, he reaches deep within himself and pulls it out. She hold it in her hands, and it breaks her heart. His wish was for all people to know that in a world of matter who they are, their dreams are within reach. They shouldn't ever stop looking up because someone told them they can't. If they're going to sing At All Costs with the original words, this is when it would be. It would be so profoundly magical, like an I See The Light kind of moment. Their love for these precious wishes and for each other. Imagine, Asha’s holding her father’s dream in her arms, and very carefully, she passes it back to Star for safekeeping, yet at the same time, they’re holding each other.

Imagine, just imagine, that he was the star on her father's map.

Magnifico still ultimately wants to capture Star and keep him inside his staff forever so he can dictate the world. And Star holds some of the wishes of the passed? That’s even better for his quest for power. In fact, he aims to become so powerful that he can pull the wishes down from the heavens. He could extend his power into the cosmos. And if Asha made a mistake earlier in the film, people would be much more likely to believe him at first when declares Asha a traitor and lies that she's the one who destroyed their wishes. Also, he needs a bit more epic of a villain song.

I think they would be forced into hiding. Asha's friends are there and they still sing Knowing What I Know Now complete with some Star shapeshifting.

Her friends hadn't showed up as promised. Perhaps Magnifico had put an end to their uprising. Either way, Asha and Star confront him. Star is the last person she has by her side, and with a few words of his spell, he sucks him into his staff. He finally has the power he's craved. He can pull the wishes down from the heavens and crush them. She is alone when he commands the clouds to cover the stars and says his line of “There will be no more hope" (I don't remember the exact wording). She looks out to see the kingdom in hiding, wondering if her friends are really there like they said they would be. It's dark and storming, and she's so alone in the moment that it seems that Magnifico has already won. There are no stars in sight. Yet, she remembers how Star showed her that each person is made of everything that comes from the stars. So she begins to sing: So I look out to the stars just like me.

It turns out, her friends are there. They show up right when she needs them most and begin to sing with her, their hearts alight like the cores of stars. It's not enough. But the kingdom sees hope, and that's when they begin to come out. I mean from across the island, from their homes. He still casts a spell, and while weighed down, they still sing. That way, Magnifico's "mirror mirror" sequence could also extend across the whole island.

And Star breaks free. He ascends, high, and the wishes Magnifico attempted to pull down to Earth are let free. And when the clouds dissipate, he's sucked into his staff and defeated.

It would honest be funny if Star plummeted just to appear over the balcony and surprise her. And then... this is when they kiss.

So, she reunited with her loved ones as was in the ending, and of course, he must return to the heavens soon. (And be the guiding star). Asha loves him, but she loves her friends and family too, and her kingdom needs her. So, he bestows a new gift on her that she's worthy of. She would become the first fairy godmother and have the ability to commune with the stars. She can go between the heavens and Earth. She would have a dress transformation that would be reminiscent of the one in Cinderella. Sabino also begins to pluck his lute and play When You Wish Upon a Star in the end. When Star does return home, maybe, he leaps like a shooting star over the castle. Get it?

I appreciate that the setting alludes to the various cultures of it's inhabitants from around the Mediterranean region (I would love if even more variety was shown as a Mediterranean person myself), but I really want more of Asha's specific cultural background to be portrayed. I'm trying to think exactly what role Queen Amaya would have in the narrative. I've heard her and Magnifico were supposed to be the first villain couple which sounds so cool! I'm trying to imagine how exactly the dynamic would be there. If you have any ideas then lmk. ^^

[windvexer]

Hi chicken! Apologizes if this is something you have answered in the past, but how would one get rid of entity attachments? Why do they occur and how do you identify if it’s attached? Additionally, for example, if something followed you home and won’t leave even after banishing and it got through your protections and wards, what do you do in this case?

(Entity attachment anon!) I forgot to ask, is it possible for entities to attach even if you’ve layered personal protections on? I don’t think I’ve ever encountered anyone having this problem but I’m deeply curious.

Hi, Anon! Major UPG post alert ^-^

So this is a huge topic and I'm afraid there are no easy answers. If we're talking about entity attachments, what I've mostly experienced are entities who are just targeting people because they've already got a foothold.

I find the "energy cord" theory to be more effect than cause. In other words, if a linking energy cord is present it's because the spirit is haunting a person; the cord doesn't cause the haunting, but rather reflects and demonstrates the relationship between two or more things.

I don't know if I really believe in "attachments," specifically. Sometimes, certain spirits can become fixated on a person in the interest of causing harm or for deleterious personal gain, but this doesn't necessarily mean there is any special magical link between the spirit and the person being haunted. It's not an attachment so much as it is targeted harassment.

But I'm also a little hesitant on the topic because IME, it's very easy to interpret "a spirit is upset in my vicinity" to "I am being victimized by a negative spiritual attachment."

Also, if it sounds like something the Warrens would say, I'm extra hesitant to adopt it into my worldview.

For example, plenty of unpleasant spirit encounters happen because a spirit accidentally got trapped inside of a household. It's upset and it wants to leave, but the practitioner is taking steps contrary to solving the actual issue. If a spirit is trapped inside the house and the practitioner responds by redoubling wards and commanding the spirit to leave, the issue becomes intransigent; the practitioner doesn't understand why the problem is happening, so they are taking actions that seem rational, but in actuality can't solve the problem.

My take on resolving unwanted spiritual intrusions is therefore a pretty practical, but boring one: resolving them requires an understanding of why they are happening, and how to form an appropriate action plan centered around effective sorcerous techniques.

There are plenty of reasons why a person could have attracted unwanted spiritual attention, and they're all boring stuff too: You stole something from nature that wasn't yours to take, you worked magic in a place you shouldn't have worked magic in, you targeted someone who has their own spiritual protectors, you're behaving like someone who needs to learn a lesson and the lesson has arrived, you accidentally opened doorways that spirits stepped through, you modified the spell without understanding the steps, you started getting involved in things that were none of your business and now business is getting involved with you, and so on.

It's never "an evil spirit followed me home for no reason and walked through all of my wards and now it's attached to me."

It's always "oh yeah, last year I made a promise to a nature spirit in that park to bring it offerings every week, but I forgot, but trees are supposed to be cool, right? No, I don't remember the promise ritual I performed, but I do remember that I invited the spirit to come visit me whenever it wanted. Hey, wait, is that why it could walk past my wards?"

From time to time, the exact cause of an unwanted spirit haunting can't be discovered, or doesn't matter. Some times unwanted spirits kind of just do float in and start causing problems, but those problems are resolved through effective sorcery. This means not only casting effective spells, but also employing an effective strategy.

If the banishing didn't work, it was either an ineffective spell, or an ineffective strategy. The angry dryad isn't being banished because the jar wards you put up 18 months ago have a clause about always protecting invited guests from harmful magic. It doesn't matter if you're casting a good banishment; it's a bad strategy to resolve the situation.

This is probably going to sound a little mean of me, but if someone said that a spirit just walked through all of their protections and wards and can't be banished, my immediate assumption is not that it's a powerful spirit who has become specially attached. My assumption is that the person is working with ineffective magical techniques.

So a lot of dealing with unwanted spiritual intrusions isn't just attack and defense. It's also investigation, diplomacy, and strategy.

You ask if it's possible for a spirit to become "attached" to a person even if they have lots of personal protections, but I'm not sure my beliefs agree with the question itself. Could a spirit force a harmful connection with someone who is extremely well-protected? Maybe, but I doubt it. At a certain point, a point not even very difficult to reach, protection becomes so all-encompassing that it is transformative.

But also, having many protection amulets isn't the end-all, be-all of protection against unwanted spiritual attention. I suffered from unwanted contact for years that my strongest banishing and protection couldn't touch, and then immediately resolved it with a basic spell that employed an entirely different strategy.

At the end of the day, though, effectively dealing with unwanted spiritual intrusions can be complex and require a lot of different skills to appropriately tackle, even if the situation is easy to resolve once you understand what's going on.

So if you've found yourself in a pickle and there don't appear to be any doors leading out of the fun house, then I'd recommend just hitting up a spirit doctor. Not to speak too broadly, but it's the job of such folks to remedy problems caused by spirits.

Various doctors have various specializations, but many of them are able to directly intercede on your behalf or at least provide the information necessary to resolve the issue.

[shsl-heck]

One thing that's had me thinking about Amy lately, is the tension between disgust and desire. She is horrified by the immensity of her desire for Victoria, but the shame and guilt over it can only ever make it worse. Fear and arousal, disgust and desire, all of them bleed into each other (we see this constantly in both porn and horror). It's like she has this splinter at the core of her being and she either cant realize or wont accept that the more and more she digs for it to try to get it out, the deeper she's driving it into herself. She cannot remove this without help from someone else. (Coincidentally, not being able to recognize that her attempts to do/be what she's supposed to are only making things worse is also what leads to the Enwretchening)

I'm aware there's a reading of Worm in which Amy's attraction to Victoria is purely an expression of a kind of morality focused ocd, but I personally think that's less interesting. She definitely experiences some level of that (the urge to fuck up a baby she's healing followed by disgust with herself is like a perfect example of an intrusive thought associated with that brand of ocd), but I think this is a case of *and* rather than *or*. My reading of Amy is that of a deeply lonely and emotionally neglected child clinging to the one person in her life that gives her any form of affection, whose attachment only gets increasingly complicated as she starts to grow up and realizes she is attracted to women.

She has never been treated as part of the family, has always felt on some level that she's only playing at being a sister to Victoria, and she is dealing with that during a stage of her life that is turbulent at best for even people raised in a healthy functional environment. There is a broad cultural taboo around sex and desire, but there's a special sort of self-loathing and fear that you're somehow predatory for finding someone attractive that a lot of queer people experience due to the stigma surrounding their sexuality and/or gender. Homoeroticism and attraction is seen as disgusting and fundamentally wrong by society no matter what. It is especially disastrous for Amy because even though she's never been able to see herself as Victoria's sister, she knows she's supposed to, and that adds a whole new layer of guilt and shame to even a passing thought about Victoria being attractive.

Then she triggers. Suddenly she not only has to pretend to be Amy Dallon the well behaved unintrusive family member, she has to be Panacea, the girl who performs miracles. She doesn't even have a secret identity to fall back on for privacy because of New Wave's gimmick. Any resentment about her role, or desire to live a normal life become more proof that she is a sick, evil person; a parasite who has wormed her way into the Good and Heroic Dallon-Pelham family and is eating away at them from the inside-out.

Even as it forces her to repress more and more of herself, Panacea also offers Amy what is seemingly her only chance to be Good like her family. Healing people isn't just something she has to do in order to avoid being a terrible person, but also how she can atone for everything else that's Bad about her. Saving people is a way to try to purge herself of the desire for Victoria, and to prove that she can be a Dallon in more than name.

Like, as awful and lesbophobic as Wildbow's handling of Amy was, there is something deeply compelling and even relatable about her to me. She perfectly captures an emotional state that I've struggled (and failed) to explain as I wrote and rewrote this post. It's the hunger, the guilt, the shame, the fear, the loneliness that settles on your skin like frost as a child when you accept that there must be something wrong with you, because if there wasn't then you wouldn't have to try so hard to be good.

[hollowsart]

A late birthday gift for @scoutverse / @arcade-writing ✨

their Spidersona + their Doc Ock :) ;)

also a little small writing to go along with this piece~

==[no warnings, super mild]==

The clutter of noise filled the air, clicking of glasses, a bustle of voices and laughter, the murmur of music playing in the background from an unseen band. Clacking of heels and jingling of belts and straps were subtle, but not unheard.. As was a familiar voice to the undercover Spider-Scout.

Coats were left by the door and the setting was rather formal, a stage to one end and smaller platforms with covered displays were littered around the walls. One section was spared, however, dedicated to a buffet of food and drink for all who came. There were many who arrived from underground where the work was sketchy and the motives illegal, and many others who came from the higher ground that were a surprise to see at this glorified science fair for the elite.

All things that Scout had noted as he followed the sound of that familiar voice, catching sight of the source and slipping through the crowd to get to him. Alas, he couldn’t get far in surprising the man of the hour, Otto Octavius, as he had been spotted. Otto had stopped his speaking to nearly glare at Scout, furrowing his brow and telling the crowd to hold. Scout shrunk and began to dart back the way he came like a rabbit that spotted a fox. Dodging and weaving through the people who merely parted ways for Otto to walk without trouble.

The exit was close by, he was almost there, *he could see it--* but another sound caught Scout’s attention, eyes dropping to the floor for a moment to spot a few spiders scurrying ahead of him-- And then he was grabbed, his legs slipping from the floor as he was lifted and pulled back the way he came, an actuator twisting him around to face Doctor Octavius. Scout gave a nervous chuckle and tried to play off what he was doing as nothing at all. Otto ignored him and dragged him toward a back wall, a small alcove hidden by a curtain where they could achieve a little privacy to speak. Scout tried to speak again, but was cut off by Otto turning around to stare at him in the dim light of the cove. The actuator released him and returned back to the doctor who took the chance to grab Scout himself. Dipping him like a dance as he leaned down to speak. Something playful, yet evil, running through his mind. Feeling a need to tease the Spider-Scout.

"Did you really miss me that much, Peter?" Otto whispered low, a husky tone to his voice as his breath ghosted hot along Scout's throat. His lips and teeth nipping along the delicate, exposed skin. The doctor's hands caressed at Scout's form, a hand gripping his thigh firm, raising it up and over his own hip, the other cradled Scout's arching back. His own leg pressing between Scout’s, giving him a little support.. and friction.

"Whoever knew you were so.." His voice lowered and trailed off. The familiar noise of the doctor's actuators coming alive, two to be exact. One curled around Scout's standing leg, a tight squeeze to keep him still. The other came up behind Scout's head, the claw at the end clasped harsh against his scalp, pushing him to look at Otto as he leaned closer. His voice dipping dangerously, eyes lidded and his voice breathy as he finally growled the last word. Something underlying his tone, something.. playful.

"..Clingy."

Otto pulled back just enough to simply watch as Scout’s face began to flush, a mix of emotions playing subtly in rapid succession on his features, mind racing with what to say, and he chuckled low. Leaning back in again, this time his lips brush Scout’s ear. His hand at Scout’s back dipped, sliding down toward his rear pocket, slipping his fingers inside, “Happy Birthday, Peter.” he whispered deeply, giving the man a firm squeeze and pat to his butt before righting themselves and letting him go.

His hand slid along Scout’s arm and, for a fleeting moment, lingered on his hand, a smile on his face.. a softer one. Otto quickly jerked his hand back and turned on his heel to walk away, the actuators retracting back to him fully as he did so. A final word was all he left the other with before disappearing once again into the crowd of people.

“Don’t ruin this night for me, Mr.Anderson.”

Scout couldn’t believe it. He never celebrated his birthday before and only once had he mentioned the date to Otto so long ago.. He felt so stupid, so silly to not have considered Otto would ever remember that. Of course he would remember. Somehow.. that made him feel happy, yet sad all the same.

He had turned to leave, himself, but faltered at the feeling of something in his pocket. Reaching his hand in he fished out whatever the doctor had left. There was no package, no special wrapping, nothing of the sort to hide what lay in Scout’s hands.

It was a portable hand warmer..

Scout took a deep breath and held it, shutting his eyes and closing his hands around the gift, clenching his jaw to fight back the wave of emotions that began to crash into him. Gosh, he both loved and loathed that man. He almost felt tempted to rush out and find him again.. but he was there for his own work.. but.. then again..

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hello! I just wanna say your writing is amazing, and I absolutely adore your tmc stories and writing overall it's so good!!!! I was wondering if I could get a continuation of the Adam x gn reader where they found him alongside Thatcher (maybe they drive him to somewhere safe like an inn/motel and care for him. Whether it be cuddling, reassurance, allowing him to vent. Bcuz they just don't mind him being an alternate. Regardless of what he is they care for him and want the best.) I need my boy to feel okay :(

Aw thanks! I'm surprised ya'll wanted continuations for not just one of my Adam fics, but TWO of them. It makes me happy though!

For this one, I imagine Reader finding out how truly difficult helping Adam is gonna be when he starts acting more like an Alternate, but it's a fight they refuse to give up on.

So enjoy <3

Read the first part/prequel here

..........

"Well..here we are. I told the lady we're staying several nights, but my credit card should cover it."

Opening the door to the motel room, you pocketed the key before heading inside to check things out, tossing some bags onto the table.

Adam, in the meantime, stood there awkwardly in the hallway. But after you called his name, he snapped out of his trance and entered--

Only to bump his head on the top of the doorframe and wince in pain, rubbing the spot where it hurt as he scowled at nothing specific.

After everything that's happened tonight, he forgot that his painful metamorphosis and splintering of bones made him a few inches taller...not that he considered it a plus in any way, shape, or form.

If the circumstances were different, he'd probably brag about it to everyone.

Fortunately you didn't notice his mishap, as you were making sure there weren't any TVs or mirrors in the room. Not just for your own safety, but also for Adam's sanity, too.

He couldn't stand seeing his reflection in anything; even the van's rearview mirror made him freak out when he accidentally looked at it, screeching uncontrollably and screwing up the radio's signal until you finally figured out what was wrong and covered it up.

That's the first and only time you nearly crashed the van, thank goodness.

The rest of the drive was uneventful until you found this rundown motel somewhere on the outskirts of Werksha County, deciding it's the safest place to lay low until you both figured out what to do next.

Of all things, you never expected one of your closest friends to be an Alternate--not one who recently killed him and stole his identity, but one who didn't even know what he was until this very night.

Apparently, the "Intruder" revealed that he had replaced his real counterpart at only 4 years old, his mom having been dead this entire time...and deciding that now was the time for him to 'awaken".

Though given how he was crying, screaming, and begging for death when you and Thatcher found him, it's obvious he didn't take that news very well and didn't want to be anything like them.

He lived as a human for so long..he was convinced that he is one and refused to accept his reality.

You couldn't bring yourself to hate him for something he had no control over, nor were you going to ever treat him like one of those monsters.

They were heartless and evil...and while Adam himself acted that way for the past several weeks, pushing away everyone who cared about him, you realized he regretted it deeply. Surely Alternates don't feel things like that.

Eventually you'll have to tell Sarah and Evelin the truth, and also find out where BPS goes from here.

But none of that was important right now.

Taking care of him was.

"Alright. Everything looks good...shit, even the beds look pretty decent. I'm surprised."

Blinking, Adam looked to see you plop down onto one of the beds, laying on your back. "You gotta come over here, man. I promise it's comfier than it looks."

After a bit of silence, you heard some shuffling noises and glanced at him as he limped over to the other bed. He sat down and shrugged off your BPS jacket, using it like a blanket before he curled up on the mattress, resting his head on the pillow and tucking his lanky limbs close to his chest.

In a way, he almost acted like a cat...which was kinda cute.

"Yeah I'm pretty tired, too. You need anything, Adam?" You asked.

All you got was a shake of his head in response, his eyes already closed.

'Right..we both need some sleep. I know he definitely does. We'll figure out some game plan in the morning, then..' You took off your shoes, leaving them on the floor before getting under the sheets and turning off the lamp light.

"Well..goodnight."

He mumbled something, but you assumed was also "goodnight" and eventually fell fast asleep..

Until your short-lived dream turned into a nightmare.

You found yourself standing alone in a dark void, hearing the muffled screams of your friend that sounded so close...and yet so far away. But no matter what, you couldn't find him anywhere, even as you ran and called out his name.

If anything, it felt like you were moving even further away.

Then you were halted by a figure descending from the sky--being that same mysterious angel statue you saw back in the van, except its face was covered by a black square. Its movements, however, were quite lively as it spoke to you in the same voice that claimed itself to be your "intuition".

It whispered that you could not save the "Mandela Prophet" from his destiny, even though what he did tonight was unexpected--implying that he was supposed to harm you.

But it vowed that his "disguise" will eventually shed itself..and when it does you won't be safe anymore.

You refused to believe it, instead asking what it wanted from you.

Its response?

"I want you to open your eyes"

Suddenly you woke up, heart pounding a mile a minute as you looked around the dark motel room. It took a moment to realize you were out of that horrible dream.

But then you ceased all movements as you noticed the time on the alarm clock displayed 3:33 AM in red neon....before seeing a skeletal figure sitting on the edge of your bed, uncomfortably close.

It stared down at you with white pupils rolling around in its eyes, its mouth hung open--stretching to biologically impossible proportions as it spoke in whispers you couldn't decipher, despite its mouth not moving at all.

"A-Adam? That you?"

You bravely turned on the lamp light, rubbing your eyes to see that it was indeed your friend watching over you. His mouth was back in its normal place...although you did see it wide open for a split second after light filled the room before he closed it immediately.

It did give you a mini heart attack, forgetting he was capable of something like that, though you tried acting like you never saw it at all.

"S-Sorry..I didn't mean to wake you up." He apologized, clearing his throat. "I...couldn't sleep. Fuck, how can I?"

"It's alright. I don't think I can either." Sighing, you sat up and smiled reassuringly at him. "We've been through a lot of shit tonight, and-"

"You need to kill me."

Your smile faded as you stared at him, confused when he shoved one of his pillows against your torso. It had stuffing torn out of it, the case covered in blood and saliva.

"What the--?!" You blinked, looking down in horror. "Adam, is this your bl-?!!"

"I tried it and it didn't fucking work...s-so I need you to do it for me. Please." He begged. "I've tried everything else!!"

'Is he...asking me to smother him..? Was he...actually screaming earlier?' Your heart sunk into your stomach at the realization he tried killing himself while you were sleeping, but you shook your head.

"Adam we're not having this conversation again. I can't do that to you, okay? It's not going to work, and even if it did...I just...I can't. If you think I'm okay with straight-up murdering you-"

"Just do it, [y/n]...I-I don't care how long it takes. I don't want to be your burden anymore. I just...I want this to END!!!" He panicked, growing frustrated that you weren't taking the pillow as he now kneeled in front of you, hands trembling. "I'm one of those sick fucks that took your family away! So get revenge! KILL ME!!!"

"But you're not." Your gaze softened, resting your hands over his own. "You didn't kill them. You're my friend-"

"How can you see THIS as a friend-d-d?!!" He wailed, tearing himself away from you as coarse static began to overlay his voice. "This "friend" hurt so many people...Jonah...a-and Evelin...and it's going to hurt you too if you don't stop me!! PLEASE JUST FUCKING END MY SUFFERING-G-G!!!

You desperately tried to calm him down, afraid that someone in the neighboring rooms would hear all of his screaming and howling.

But he didn't stop.

"Shhh! Adam-! Adam, please just-!!"

"STOP IT!! DON'T CALL ME THAT!!! THAT'S NOT MY NAME!! IT WAS NEVER MY NAME!! I lied to you...I DECIEVED you, and you were too stupid to realize it.."

"...h-huh?" You froze, bewildered as his face suddenly became devoid of all emotion, staring dead at your confused expression.

"You stopped that cop from putting a bullet in my head." Tears began streaming down his bony cheeks, his jaw going slack as he spoke. "You're so selfish. You're a coward. Don't you see how horrible you are..keeping me around?! You think I can be saved?! You're only making me SUFFER, [y/n], and it's all your fault!"

You were shocked at the things he was saying to you, wondering if the last of his humanity had finally slipped away...and this is all that remained now.

"A-Adam, please stop-"

"PLEASE STOP! PLEASE STOP! PLEASE STOP! PLEASE STOP!" He began to mimic your voice to near-perfection, hearing hysterical laughter coming from him despite his expression not matching it at all.

You could tell from his eyes alone that he wasn't in total control over himself. He wasn't doing this on purpose.

It was those Alternate instincts trying to override him, attempting to submit you to the symptoms of M.A.D.

Begging him to be quiet was no longer working. You had to try something else...something that would catch him off-guard.

And you finally figured it out.

Taking the pillow, you tossed it aside before gently pulling Adam into your arms, once again being careful not to crush any of his fragile bones. Almost immediately his laughter stopped, his whole body seizing up.

Without the jacket you've previously given him, you could feel how extremely skinny he was, his vertebrae almost poking through his flesh. But it didn't stop you from wrapping your arm around his back, petting his hair soothingly with your other hand.

"...what are you doing-g?" He asked, his voice muffled by your shoulder. "Don't touch me! I-I'm...I will....!"

"You'll what?"

"......."

From the way his entire form gradually went slack in your arms, you realized he was (somewhat) back to his old self, and smiled. "See? You're not hurting me now, and you didn't before. I still trust you, Adam."

He didn't do anything for a few long moments, but just when you were about to let him go, he suddenly hugged you back and fully buried his face into your shoulder, sobbing.

"I'm so sorry, I-I didn't mean to...! I'm sorry, I'm sorry..!!"

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean any of it." You consoled, allowing him to pull you closer to him. As much as he tried, he could barely crush you..considering he had little strength left. "It's okay, we're both okay."

He just shook his head, still devastated that he tried giving you M.A.D and couldn't stop himself. "Th-This is why I wanted you to leave me..b-before I say stupid shit like that and hurt you...."

"C'mon, you've said a lot of "stupid shit" over the years. It's gonna take more than that to drive me away." As you rubbed his bare back, you could feel him nuzzling into your shirt more, desperate for warmth that his own body no longer provided him.

"I-It's so cold. I'm scared, [y/n]...I'm scared of myself." He choked. "None of this feels...real."

"I know. I...can't even imagine what's been going through your head tonight. But you're still my friend, and nothing's gonna change that. Not even this, alright?"

After a few moments of silence he nodded, sniffling. "I'm sorry for putting all of this on you. But....if you have to kill me-"

"Adam."

"R-Right, right...I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again.."

"....we'll figure out something else, okay? And I'll be here for you. Just like always."

Although Adam didn't verbally respond to that, he let go of you and laid down beside you, indicating he wanted to at least attempt to sleep. You were surprised that he didn't just return to his own bed, but you weren't going to be a dick and kick him off.

So you gave him most of the sheets and blankets, knowing he needed them far more than you did. He only mumbled a small "thank you" before turning his back to you, now tucked under the blanket.

You got under the covers as well, switching off the light again, but you heard him still crying softly into the pillow and groaning in pain, clearly trying to hide it from you.

It hurts that you couldn't take away his pain.

The one thing you could do, however, was comfort him..now knowing he wasn't going to push you away like he did before. So you gently put your arm around him, closing some of the space between you two while not being too constricting.

And while he didn't stop crying right away, he eventually quieted down and fell asleep with one less worry on his mind.

You hoped it wasn't too weird--just something to reassure him that you're gonna be right here when he awakened.

It did the trick.

You weren't going to leave him.

Not anytime soon.

[haleyheart0197]

Kinktober

I know I am WAYYY BEHIND but we’re starting strong

Day 1. Klaus Mikaelson~Squirting

You don’t know how you ended up like this. Laying flat on your back as the great evil that is Klaus Mikaelson absolutely abuses your hot wet cunt. But here you were and you were loving it.

“Ohhh.” You moaned as he made you cum for the 4th time tonight. You didn’t think that anyone could pull even pull 3 orgasms out of you but Klaus was working on the fifth “please, i-I can’t anymore please.” He merely just chuckled continuing his violent thrusts and says “really this sweet pussy says other wise.” As he lifted both of your legs onto his shoulders as you sucked him in “please Klaus.” He looked at you so deeply and yet so animalistic you couldn’t deny him “ what is it love?”

You moaned as he pressed himself into you in between each thrust. You sat up on your elbows and grabbed his neck and pulled him in for a hot possessive kiss. Then you pulled back and said “make me cum.” The feral look that fell upon his face almost made you regret it… ALMOST. He did as pulled out and flipped on all fours and then pushed himself into you. No mercy as he drilled into you from behind your legs shaking with the shivers of pleasure. “Oh god.” You spoke as your back arched “I-I.” Barely able to form sentences he grabbed your throat and brought your back to his front “I know love, I know” like some unspoken song the coil snapped and you vision blurred almost completely as your whole body shook you came so hard body giving out and head falling back on his shoulder.

His balls were tightening as he was chasing his own high. You whined so desperately “ shh love I know.” You felt the coil in the pit of your stomach tightening again “ please I -“cutting you by placing a hot kiss on your mouth finally he panted you gummy walls white as his cum exploded inside of you which very soon after you felt yourself coming so hard you collapsed on the mattress looking up a Klaus you saw his lower stomach and thighs were was covered in something other than sweat. “W-whats that,” he smiled like a devil and looked like a god “oh love you squirted so beautifully, painting my cock like an artist.” You couldn’t help but grow embarrassed as you let your body relax into the mattress. He snuggled up next to you and said “rest up… you’re going to need it.”

[blade-liger-4ever]

Something I've noticed that makes me liquid angry.

Queen Rani, leader of the Night Pride and ruler of the Tree of Life, wife of Prince Kion from The Lion Guard.

Her parents were killed in front of her right outside their home, which also resulted in her scar and deeply traumatized her.

For this she likely had to act maternal for her little brother, Baliyo, while finding other methods to cope with her own trauma.

Was forced to take up leadership of the Night Pride around the time Kion formed his Lion Guard, at least.

Was also being trained to become queen at the same time, while said territory was about three times the size of the Pride Lands and her grandmother, Queen Janna, was a hair's breath from death for years.

Thus she had much pressure on her from a young age, lots of trauma, and rightly founded convictions against allowing outsiders inside, especially if they were powerful individuals and not fleeing animals seeking sanctuary from clear threats.

This gives her some friction with Kion in the first two episodes featuring her, but quickly smoothes out as they fall in love and she matures past much of her struggles through their romance.

Is branded with ❌️ by the fandom.

This is largely because of how Rani "ruined" the TLK/TLG fandom's preferred ships and, in some cases, was mean to Kion in their early interactions. However, Rani canonically proves herself as not only competent and reliable, but also mellows out and grows a great deal of respect and love for Kion, while also managing to admit her wrongness of her first impression of him. Time and again she proves to be his equal in intelligence, strategy, leadership, morals, convictions, and combat prowess. This is important because Kion is a pinnacle of goodness, and despite her rough start, Rani is similarly a pinnacle of goodness with her selfless nature and dedication to defending the Tree of Life and not only its hundreds of miles of land, but its thousands to millions of lives.

Mara Jade, infamous Emperor's Hand, former Dark Side assassin, and later wife of Luke Skywalker in Star Wars Legends.

Is raised in the heart of evil with no source of love or compassion.

Is trained from infancy to be a remorseless killer.

Somehow given autonomy for no discernably good or well-founded reason beyond being favored by Palpatine.

Magically retains a conscience despite having no one give her a heart or morals.

Tries to kill her future husband numerous times.

Blames him for her luxurious life being destroyed, despite not having a real life that exists outside of killing and hunting targets when not on vacation.

Only lets go of her attempts to kill Luke Skywalker after murdering his clone in battle.

Receives no trial or punishment for her crimes.

Does not even provide information of any sort to the New Republic.

Jumps straight into Jedi training, with no one, not even Han Solo, questioning this decision.

Retains her abrasive and snide personality when married to Luke and when she becomes the mother of their son.

Continues to choose morally gray options when her husband is staunchly Light Side aligned.

Is given ✅️ by the fandom while these issues are ignored.

This is a problem because like Kion, Luke Skywalker is a pinnacle of goodness. Despite the clear need for an equal and supportive half of the same moral convictions as him, Luke is married off to a woman who continually chooses underhanded/dark methods to accomplish her own personal goals rather than sacrificing and doing good for the sake of good like he constantly does. Furthermore, she always treats Luke like trash, never apologizing for her behavior, and gets away with attempting to murder him while no one tries to kill her for the threat she posed to Luke. I cannot and will not believe that Leia and Han just shrugged and welcomed her into the family the way they did in Legends. It is wrong, out of character for all of the movie characters, and unjustifiable with all of the above taken into account. Mara Jade never changed from her relationship with Luke, and yet everyone praises them to the sky while Kion and Rani are abused to no end for maturing into adulthood and growing stronger from their romantic bond.

This is an unfair treatment on both sides, and I will not tolerate either viewpoints, nor will I forgive the accusations from either fandom on each pair.

Anyone who becomes incensed at this, I have news for you:

I.

Don't.

Care.

(Source.)

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Sleep in

Inspired by this post:

This is written especially so someone doesn't ever call for a mutiny against me again for being evil and writing angst, you know who you are.

Everyone else, enjoy!

Warnings: angst and death

Morning light filters through the window, gentle and warm, a golden undertone to the white glow. It shines beautifully on Lan Wangji’s face, bathing it as if into a halo.

Wei Wuxian caresses his cheek, the touch feather-light, the skin underneath his fingertips soft.

“You’re so beautiful in the morning, Lan Zhan. Most people look a mess when they wake up, yet you’re nothing short of a god.”

Lan Wangji’s eyelids flutter open, molten gold glimmering in the sunlight as his eyes take in his surroundings and his husband’s beautiful face, loving and fond, hair cascading over his form like endless, dark rivulets.

“I’m so happy to have you, Lan Zhan. To have had you.” His fingers trace over the man’s sharp jawline, and stop at the seam of his lips. “I love you more than words could say, more than I could ever express through anything I’d ever do.”

Lan Wangji tries a smile, the corners of his mouth weakly turning upwards.

“I know you said there is no need for thank yous between the two of us... but I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for me, for everything we’ve done together.”

Lan Wangji wishes he could open his mouth to say something, or move his body to hold his husband in response to his words. But he cannot do more than look at him, eyes heavy, blurry with unshed tears.

Wei Wuxian knows – they’ve always been so synchronized – so he envelops Lan Wangji in his arms instead, and presses a kiss to the top of his head, a kiss that’s wet with salty tears.

“I love you so much, Lan Zhan. I love you and I love our life and our marriage and our kids and...” deep, shaky breath, “...and I want you to know that it’s okay. You’ve been so brave, you’ve beaten all of the odds... but you can rest now, my love. You can let go.”

Lan Wangji sighs, deeply, as if the air had been trapped inside of his lungs for far too long. Wei Wuxian presses his lips to his husband’s hair, and lets his tears fall freely as he runs his hands gently down Lan Wangji’s back, in comfort.

He feels the ridges of the man’s whip scars and his heart squeezes, as it always does when he remembers they exist, but he doesn’t dwell on them this time. Instead, he tries to imprint into his mind the warmth of his love’s body, the contours of him, the smell of him, everything.

Lan Wangji sighs again, just as deeply, and Wei Wuxian feels his eyelashes caress his collarbones as his eyes close. His muscles relax, slowly, then all at once, and his breaths come out in longer and longer intervals.

“I... love you...” Lan Wangji manages, somehow, putting all his might, all his heart and soul into uttering those three words that he’s always felt like he’d never get to say enough.

Wei Wuxian can’t hide a sob now, and leans down to leave one final kiss to his husband’s now colorless lips.

He feels the last of his breath as Lan Wangji moves against his lips ever so slightly before his body goes lax in Wei Wuxian’s arms, heavy and lifeless.

Wei Wuxian will have to let the servants know about it so all the funerary rituals could proceed. He will have to announce his family – no, their family – and their children, and... deal with everything else that came after.

But the sun has just risen, and it still bathes Lan Wangji’s features in a golden halo, and if Wei Wuxian tries hard enough, he can still feel the last embers of his husband’s warmth.

He will have to face the world and the reality of iy soon.

But now he holds the only thing he has left of his husband and sleeps.

Sleeps in his favorite place, for the very last time.

[ladybellissima]

Finding Love Katakuri x Reader Part 26

Two months. Not weeks. Two awful long months passed since Katakuri left. But what pained her the most was the lack of information about his location. No one could tell her, if he was okay. If he was already on his way back. This clueless situation was making her crazy.

"No news (Y/N). Trust him. He will soon come back. Its a long route after all… ", Oven spoke calmly and felt pity for the saddened woman before him, who just nodded shortly and left his room.

Again she walked back to her workplace with this terrible feeling inside her stomach. A few more days and he would be gone for another week. Exhausted (Y/N) let herself fall onto a chair. Just 5 minutes to rest. Since she started her work at whole cake, she was baking early at the morning till late at night. Sometimes she fell asleep at the kitchen table, but Oven took her to bring her back to her room.

"(Y/N) - san.. Here a hot chocolate.", Pudding came to her side and placed a hot cup beside her. Smiling she nodded gratefully.

"I know it's hard, but my brother sure is doing fine. He is a sweet general after all.", she spoke happily and tried her best to lighten her mood. Pudding could see how exhausted Katakuri's wife was. The lack of sleep, combined with the amount of orders she had to bake, was getting rough. But she knew that the main cause was her fear to lose Katakuri.

"I don't know Pudding… Something's off. Or is it just my mind playing tricks…", (Y/N) spoke with a bitter smile. Getting up she tied her cooking apron around her small form and dusted some flour off.

"We have much work… Streussen needs help with rebuilding the chateau.", she added emotionless and started to prepare her workplace. Pudding sighed deeply and put on her chef hat.

"Thank god Mama left to Wano. So we have more time left.", she spoke relieved and helped with the dough. (Y/N) nodded happily. That was the only thing of the past few days, which let her mood light up a bit. Big mom couldn't accept the fact that the straw hats destroyed her tea party. Her really important tea party. Getting in contact with Kaido, the ruler of the Wano Lands, she offered him an alliance against the straw hats. This lead her to leave whole cake and gave (Y/N) more freedom to get things finished in her way.

Taking the cream from Pudding's hands she watched the crimson color bitterly.

"You won't give me some rest Katakuri… What are you doing right now?..", she thought with a small smile.

xxx

On the other side, far away, across the sea, Katakuri finally stepped onto the mysterious island,which he desperately was looking for. First he wasn't sure, if this map was really trustworthy, because of the simple directions and missing islands on the way, but now feeling the soft sand under his boots, he felt relieved. It was a calm and quiet place, nothing compared to the rough travel with his ship. Giving his surroundings a close look, he didn't sense any enemies. It was really hot and in a way he felt his body slow down a bit. The island was rather small and thick of vegetation. Mostly bushes with large torns were getting in his way. Annoyed he used his spear to get rid of the plants to get deeper into the wood. The place seemed completely untouched by humans, which let him get quite suspicious. A calm island on the route of the Grand Line sure had to be a favorite spot for survivors. Plus there wasn't a single sound of any birds or other animals. There was something he couldn't really tell and his observation haki only showed him darkness. Stopping before a cave, which literally screamed to be the hot spot of something dangerous, he entered it without any hesitation. If there was something evil lurking around he sure would beat it to a pulp. If it really dares to attack him. Using his observation haki again he only found hinself like before in darkness. Irritated he shook the strange feeling off and went on to finally get the treasure. With every minute he got deeper and deeper into the darkness. Luckily he brought a torch with him. After he used some stones to lighten up his tool, he was met with a dead end. The walls glittered with a strange powder and the next moment, Katakuri felt his whole body ingulfed in it. Touching the wall to have a closer look, he suddenly felt weak. Realization hit him too late, after hearing footsteps behind him. Balling his fists in anger he could feel how his devil fruit powers left him.

"Seastone…. These bastards.", he growled pissed and got into a fighting stance. The next moment he was surrounded by 100th of marines who pointed their guns into his direction.

"It's Katakuri Charlotte of the Big mom pirates!", they whispered shocked, but still kept their position.

"Out of my way!", he spoke coldly and slashed with his spear through the group of marines. Every muscle pained like hell, but even if he lost his powers, he would kill one after another. The cave trembled of his anger and powerful punches and soon the group of marines flew out of the cave.

"Seems that we got a feisty one here.", a higher ranked marine stepped before the cave and pointed his rifle into the darkness.

"Leutnand Zotto you are shaking again."

"I am not!", he hissed back pissed and tried to stay as cool as possible, but after he was met with angered crimson eyes, he knew all too well that things would get rough.

"It's Katakuri Charlotte!!", his subordinates cried in fear while the sweet general stepped out of the cave covered in their blood. Breathing heavily he knew that his body would give up soon, but never would he let himself get arrested by these scum.

"Get the snail transponder. Call Vice Admiral Momonga for support!", he shouted to the others while Katakuri grabbed the end of his weapon, which pointed to his heart.

"What's the matter? Aren't you gonna to shot me already?", his deep voice let Leutnant Zotto got pale while his shaken fingers tried to pull the trigger.

Suddenly Katakuri felt a sudden pain on his neck. Cursing he fell down to the ground and couldn't move.

"Wow I expected many scenarios, but that out of all the Charlottes, the almighty Katakuri would come for this so called treasure is really a surprise. What a splendid catch.", a feminine voice appeared and soon Stussy made her way towards Leutnant Zotto. Shaken he fell on his butt before the growling pirate.

" Don't worry Leutnant. I shot him with a poisoned needle. Combined with the seas tone powder he won't be able to move an inch.", she explained and watched the relieved marine amused.

"I told you that this investion wouldn't be a waste of money. This powder is wonderful. And to get this map under the presents at Pudding's wedding was ridiculous easy and then you just have to wait and be on guard here on this prepared island.", she spoke happily and thought of all the things she would be able to buy now.

" Yeah great… Do you know how exhausting it was to hide here. On top boring like hell. For you it was a piece of cake.. ", the man got up and gave the giant warrior an uneasy look.

"But think of the news. Leutnant Zotto captured the man with the highest bounty. Katakuri Charlotte.", she smirked devilishly and slung an arm around his shoulder. The man felt a shiver ran down his spine and got red as a tomato. It really was a honor and thank god their plan was successful. It took them days to get the seastone powder everywhere.

Kneeling down beside Katakuri, he gave her an angered look. "I swear I will kill you..", he hissed exhausted. Chuckling she brushed some sweat off of his forehead.

"Your fate was already settled after your first step on this island. The powder is everywhere. On the sand, the trees, on every single stone. Hell I think it's also in the air. Even your haki didn't work right and so you slowly fell into our trap without noticing. Don't waste your hatred on me. Soon you will face much more hated people… ", she spoke amused and got back up.

" Cuff his hands and get him onto the ship. Update Vice Admiral Momonga."

Katakuri struggled and tried to move as much as he could, but he knew all too well that there wasn't a way out now. His hands were cuffed with sea stones as well, which pushed his weak state even more.

How could he be so stupid. He was so focused on this treasure. Just to get as quickly as possible back home and now? Desperate he thought about (Y/N). He sure wasn't able to see her ever  again and it broke his heart.

"Damn it.."

He could only imagine her shocked and devasted look after reading the news of his upcoming execution.

"I broke my promise…"

On the other side (Y/N) sat down onto her bed. With shaken fingers she held the piece of paper in her hands, the only thing which connected her with him and watched the burning end in horror. She didn't need to wait for any news. This sign was already giving her enough information that her husband was in trouble.

In deadly trouble.

She was right so damn right that something was off. Cursing under her breath she broke down onto the floor while crying desperately. Helpless and heartbroken she thought about what to do. Every idea seemed ridiculous. On top she didn't know exactly where to start.

"How? How I am able to find you?", she whispered exhausted.

Taking his vivre card in her hands, she could see that the burning stopped. Tears rolled down her face of relief. As long as the paper was still intact, he was alive. Frustrated she hugged the precious item tightly and blacked out of exhaustion. She couldn't endure this fear any longer, the hard work, the stress and the unknown before her.

"Will I be able to see you again.." was her last thought before the darkness took over.