#something ANYTHING from before the End
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Literally me ^ ^ ^ FR a convoy to Jazz would be so dope though?? Like if they're meeting the bats bc their patrols crossed paths I take it Danny is patrolling not in search of ghosts but bc he's looking for Jazz and other survivors.
Jazz I think would definitely count as contaminated enough to be warding off zombies so I propose they can have either: A very sweet reunion where Danny is grateful to the bats for helping him find his sister bc she was in the 'safe zone' the bats had established, having absorbed the band of survivours Jazz had been keeping safe
Jazzs band of survivours has not been absorbed yet but when the bats observe the zombies avoiding the parkers they spread out, hopeful at the fact they might meet yet more survivours from their city
Jazz has a Cult. (Danny always gets cults so now it's Jazz's turn.) This can either be hilarious or angsty. Lets go with hilarious for now, and assume it comes at the end of a long tense search with the bats to find this very unexpected compound. The Cult is worshipping Jazz as some sort of holy figure because her presence keeps the zombies away. She is using this position to get people to practise mindfulness and healthy coping mechanisms, and doing her level best to listen to all these people bc she may or may not be the only one around with any kind of psychological training.
Realistically how long would it take for Sam and Tucker to get bored of Danny being overprotective? Like there's probably not going to be many zombies on the long stretches of roads between cities (Which they will point out. Repeatedly.) So I can imagine Sam, the moment they stop in Gotham or its outskirts, leaping out of the side door of the vehicle (I'm imagining at least a van, probably Mad Max style so they can break through any obstacles if the Fentons didn't outright give them the GAV) and literally latching onto the first zombie she sees, either piggy backing it or slapping it across the face, only for it to run away bc That's Not Food
Cue Danny panicking while one of the bats, patrolling for supplies, watches on in absolute bemusement from a roof top at What That Was
DPxDC idea: zombie apocalypse.
It's pretty common in zombie apocalypse stories for zombies to not attack each other, they somehow can tell themselves from the delicious delicious living beings. So I think it'd be interesting if anyone who's died died also does NOT ring the zombie dinner bell.
Example: Jason obviously smells so unappetizing to zombies, they don't even bother trying to bite him. Jason is weirded out by this, he stops jokingly calling himself a zombie. (Honestly depending on how far back in canon you wanna go about half the bats/birds are undead.)
And obviously Danny, Vlad, Dani/Ellie, and Dan (if you wanna include him) are some form of undead. It could be fun to play with the fact that zombies and ghosts are the apples and oranges of undead. Yeah, they're both fruit/undead, but they're also basically opposites. How would Danny's frenemies react to zombies invading the living realm?
And that's not even getting into liminality. Are humans that have been exposed to ectoplasm and/or the Laz pits just generally less appetizing to zombies? Like it confuses their senses? Just imagine you're in the middle of trying to survive the zombie apocalypse and then in bursts Batman and friends in their normal costumes with no fear because zombies just don't want them. The bats are acting like it's business as usual, that'd be so bizarre after the hell you've been through. And then they take you to this middle of nowhere town called Amity Park where people are living like it's pre-apocalypse because zombies get close and just turn away before crossing into town.
#Maybe the convoy is how word starts to get out that there's even a safe town to move too#realistically there's no news cycle#and if this is one of those#'amity stopped trying to hail the justice league' scenarios#then even the JL doesn't know about amity to tell anyone#anyone who was from out of town and hears about the convoy going#in whatever direction you want to put gotham from amity#would be like#TAKE ME TAKE ME I NEED TO KNOW#like#it would literally be like something out of a fever dream#nothing but desolation then all of a sudden#in the distance#TRUCKERS#something ANYTHING from before the End#I Imagine the convoy starts off small#then starts to get larger depending on how many places they have to pass through before they reach gotham#maybe the supers are susceptible to whatever's caused the outbreak#(magic curse? Alien Shit?)#so that's why people are still stranded#and superman didnt just swoop around the world and gather everyone up#IM SORRY IM LIKE REPLYING SO LONG LMAO#and also it occurs to me you never specified they leave amity#so are the BATS rolling into amity?#is gotham completely lost??#bc that's a whole other very very FABULOUS direction#and a really fresh one to take it in!#like dannys always coming to gotham but we rarely see the bats land in amity for anything but short periods
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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#fop hazel#fop dev#dev dimmadome#art#digital art#doodles#I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like#but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem#I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother#The idea that she has to be mature all the time#constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe#Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet#just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it#maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again#The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her#which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things#I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice#I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique#Maybe he will be in future seasons idk
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well wishes from the void
#utdr#utdr fanart#deltarune#deltarune fanart#wd gaster#gaster fanart#utdr soul#utdr player#this is… actually not from my backlog#this is something i was able to finish over a couple days (terrible burnout hhh ;;) and wanted to get up before december ended#i know I’ve been less interactive/active—sorry about that. i haven’t been spending a lot of time online.#but while i can’t promise anything atm i do hope you have a lovely winter.#well wishes from the void o7#might be my last post for the year unless i queue the caine and pomni comic#so please take care of yourselves <3
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I think I need MelVik connecting when Viktor was on his sick bed. they had been amicable before, maybe a little more than that due to their connection through Jayce and her presence around Hextech and such. but they weren't entirely friends. not yet.
and she goes to see him. perhaps she feels a tinge of guilt at assuming the worst about Jayce, or her bleeding heart makes her feel responsible for keeping Jayce out of the lab when Viktor had needed him. maybe Jayce needs to step out for a moment, and she soothes his worry by promising to sit with Viktor. maybe she just wants to be closer to the man that's so painfully important to the one she loves, wants to befriend him, wants to know him, all before it's far too late.
maybe it's a little bit of each.
but she goes to see him. she sits in the chair that Jayce has nearly worn a hole through, and keeps a semi-awkward distance between them, not knowing what is too close and too far.
this man is dying. he is dying and he has accepted that. he looks like a corpse. cold emanates off of him. he is something she doesn't fully understand.
she doesn't know how to approach.
but she does.
she greets softly and speaks softly and hesitates to touch, but rests a hand over Viktor's and feels how cold he is, even as a sickly warmth brews in his bones, leeching the warmth from his skin and the energy from his body.
he seems surprised she's there. it feels out of place. like the song and dance of their dynamic has shifted, and now he needs to relearn the steps. and now this is a dance of two, not three.
she will tell Viktor, in enough detail to be understood and not enough to be awkward, where Jayce was. because it feels right to confess. it's not an apology, but the avoidance of keeping something like a secret from a dying man.
Viktor will probably just nod and say something self deprecating, because what else do you say when your body is already making a joke of itself? before assuring her that Jayce is not his keeper, that she is not to blame, but even that comes off as some twisted attempt at humor. sue him for being sardonic as he lay dying.
but unlike Jayce, who will cringe at the jokes, she will hide a smile behind her fingers, muffling a soft, if not saddened, chuckle in her palm.
Viktor's eyes will light up ever so slightly.
she'll feel awkward once more. should she have laughed? was this playing into a complex? was this right of her?
Viktor will smile weakly.
she'll feel a little less awkward.
she will realize Viktor needs someone to laugh with. that Jayce, bless his soul, cannot be that person for Viktor. his worry has brewed too long. it's too strong.
but maybe a fresh face like Mel's can be there to smile when Jayce cannot. will laugh when Jayce cannot. can make cheeky jokes and pokes and prods.
the three fit together like 3 pieces of 3 broken puzzles. they fit together, not perfectly, but they fit, and create a finished object, even if off kilter her and uneven there. but it's ok, they're making due.
#jaymelvik#melvik#but this post is specifically about rhe MelVik brainrot#but Jayce is there in the background#something about their dynamic. in power. in physicality. in where they're from and how they got to the position they're in.#it's all so interesting#I think it would be so interesting to see these two come together more#and I think them coming together at the very end of Viktor's story (pre hexcore) would be bittersweet#they're running out of time before they even become anything#they both know that#but maybe that's what Viktor needs#someone who cares. but doesn't know him. does not know hum enough ti care so deeply it hurts.#and Mel is very physically affectionate without it being overboard#(looks at Jayce and how he cannot be chill with keeping his hands to himself)#like I think they would just be sweet#im imagining them curled up in her big bed. he's covered in blankets and she's resting on his shoulder. watching him breathe.#she's warm like the sun and he's keeping her grounded to earth#and the banter would go crazy. those are two gossip girls if given the chance#mel medarda#viktor arcane#she's everything Jayce can't be for Viktor. she can laugh and smile when Jayce can't. she can keep her cool.#Viktor needs that energy in his life#arcane
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sellllllll it's meeeeee. hehehehehehehehehhehe
so for ur writing exercises.... deku + light? please? pretty please?
:3c
heheh heheh hehe niku. this will be the death of me. me writing izuku for the first time 🥲 i will only do this for you </3
contains: established relationship, spoilers for the end of the manga, aged up deku but sometime in between the final outcome (he doesn't get the h*** s*** from bakugo yet), mentions of sex and scars
deku + light
izuku only sleeps with the lights off.
it isn't uncommon; many people you know can't sleep with even just a sliver of light turned on somewhere in the room. but the difference with izuku, you learn, is not that he's unable to stand the light―it's that he refuses to.
you quickly pick up on it the first few times he sleeps over.
he fidgets in bed, pretty badly, actually. the nightlight you sleep with glows a warm yellow, illuminating the side of your face and coating him in its afterglow. you chalk it up to nerves, how he pulls at his sleeves and adjusts his position constantly; he is, after all, one of the most anxious people you know.
and this relationship―it's new. heck, even you feel a little jittery with his arm wrapped around you.
the rhythmic tapping on your hip only increases pace. you don't think he realizes it, so your hand gently reaches for his, intertwining your fingers as you turn around in his arms.
he's close, nearly touching you nose-to-nose; the proximity leaves you fuzzy, a little ticklish, so you giggle, a soft "oops," as the freckles dusting his face almost glisten under the warm light.
"hi," you whisper, meeting his eyes; they stare back at you wide in surprise, "can't sleep?"
he looks almost guilty at your question, as if you’ve caught him with the one thing he's been trying to keep from you.
"just—" his voice comes out louder than intended, prompting him to chuckle nervously as he readjusts his volume, "just winding down, sorry."
you inch closer, nuzzling his nose lightly, "it's okay."
"did i wake you?" he asks, cheeks flushing pink as his eyebrows furrow in immediate concern. his expression is something caught between stifling a grin and feeling sorry.
you shake your head against the pillow you share, strands of your hair tangling with his. "just winding down," you tease, watching as his gaze turns softer, eyelids drooping heavier.
sometimes, you think, izuku holds the world in his eyes―a deep, dark green, the color of life. most times, they look at you with wonderment, bright and alive; photos from inko tell you they're the eyes of his inner child.
on nights like this one, however, they hide a depth in them weighted by what you can only assume is time, and all that has happened to him in such a short span of it.
you try your best to understand what lies beneath them, knowing full well he'll never tell you outright what truly bothers him.
"is it the light?" you bring up, some time after laying in silence.
"hm?" he clarifies.
"do you have a hard time sleeping with the nightlight?"
his eyes widen briefly once more, as if shocked that you've caught him again. these split second reactions are ones you've learned to be attentive to when it comes to izuku.
"no," he tries to lie, but you know better as you turn to your nightstand and reach for its switch, "you don't–"
"it was hurting my eyes," you quickly make up an excuse, tucking yourself closer under his chin as you cut off his attempt to deny it again.
finding out that the light was the problem was the easy part—
you'd begun to notice much earlier on that izuku was barely rested on the nights he'd spend at your place. it was only when your old nightlight broke that you began to notice him waking up much later than you did, groggily rousing from a deep sleep.
—what was hard, was figuring out why.
at first, you suspected it was his scars.
"s-sorry, it's not—" he'd warned you, right as your hands gripped the hem of his shirt the first time you were about to have sex, "—it's not nice."
you didn't care though; you still don't care, and you've made that abundantly clear to him since. you love izuku and all his parts―all the nicks and jaggedy pieces of skin that make up who he is.
when you eventually ask him about it, with a request that he be honest with you for once, he tells you that it is and it isn't―the reason why he exclusively sleeps with the lights off, that is.
it's an odd, comforting relationship he has with his body—that he is simultaneously grateful and sorry for how its become a canvas, both painted and marred to symbolize japan’s historic last stand.
you find out the real reason when you catch him staring at his hands.
he does it often, when he thinks you aren't looking—his fists bunched up in the same way he used to watch the power of one for all course through his fingertips; the same way he used to prepare them in battle.
there’s a faraway look in his eyes that lingers, you notice—a little wistful if anything.
“do you miss it?” you finally ask. he gives you the same shocked look he does every time, as if he’s been caught with a secret he’s been trying to hide.
he’s learned a fair bit about you now, too, though—lying to you is futile when you’ve perfected reading his truth. he stares at his fists again as you take a seat beside him, moving to give you space. you rest your head on his shoulder gently, waiting.
“sometimes,” he admits, but you know it’s an understatement.
“i think about the vestiges a lot. i miss them the most, i think,” he continues, clenching his fists tightly, “i always try to reach out to them, but i guess it doesn’t work that way.”
“i… i try to replicate the right conditions every night, but…” then he lets go, stretching his fingers out wide. the scars on the surface ripple through his skin, telling its own story.
you hum, acknowledging what he means. silence sits with the two of you as you take his hand in yours, slowly unfurling his fingers until his palm reveals itself to you. it’s rough to the touch, seasoned with hard work and all that he’s been through.
“is that why you prefer the dark?” you ask softly, after some time.
it's not often that you stay up later than izuku does. when you do though, you catch him shifting in bed, moving from side-to-side. you pretend you aren't awake, but you hear him mumble their names, dwindling in volume as he dozes off to sleep.
he stares at his palm for a moment before he admits quietly, "yeah." his brows furrow as if contemplating whether to say more, but he shakes his head, dark green strands swaying to the beat of his embarrassed chuckle, "nevermind, it's silly."
"it's not."
you intertwine your fingers, sandwiching his hand between yours. a slight sheen glosses over his eyes as he tilts his head up to look at you. he draws in a breath, before it spills over.
"it's..." he finds the words, and you squeeze his hand in comfort, "it's easier to believe it was all real when the lights are out, and that maybe it can happen again."
#deku x reader#izuku x reader#midoriya x reader#bnha x reader#shotorus.workbook#it is here ! the first time ive ever written izuku ! i hope u like it niku !#idt i'll ever feel like anything i write of him will be enough but i tried !#SPOILERS FOR MANGA ENDING PLS DONT READ AHEAD#some stuff abt the blurb: i see this happening in the time between him losing ofa and before getting the suit from bakugo#so somewhere between when hes teaching#and i think its a lot of complex feelings ― he's happy he did what he had to do but is also mourning the loss of something he once had#i don't think i can ever convey that feeling fully but i hope i at least managed to touch on it here with him !#i see this as like . the period in his life where he's transitioning out of something he once knew into smth else entirely#i also hc reader to be his colleague (like a teacher or smth) but anyone closely related to the job would work !#really just someone who has a base level understanding of what he went through but doesnt know everything#which is why they're still trying to learn all these things abt him and read him better#and also why he tries to hide a lot of things from them still / is hesitant to share in fear of scaring them away smth like that !#thats all i can think of for now but ill let u know if i have other thoughts on this later on ! hehe#hope u enjoy niku !#ask#rep#ask game answered#most nervewracking experience of my LIFE writing him#stellamancer#niku.🥩
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AH. So that's why they put that content warning. I see!
#HM.#dndads#the peachyville horror#Okay tag ramble time I guess lol.#Amittedly I actually wish I *hadn't* checked the content warnings cause I think that moment would've affected me a bit more otherwise#(which for me is desired lol I want that out of my podcasts)#But HM geez gonna be thinking on this one...#Also something something Francis and Trudy talks this episode something something coldest human & warmest machine#Couldn't get that off my mind... Their conversation at the end there is what really had me anxious more than anything gah#ACTUAL EPISODE SPOILERS FROM THIS POINT FORWARD WEEWOO WEEWOO#SO one thing to remember is that we don't actually know for sure yet that Francis is dead#Which I know sounds silly but characters have been shot in the head before like this same season and not immediately died from it#Still gotta go through the mechanical process of dying and all that#But ALSO he pulled the trigger and that's where the episode stopped.#Again I know it's silly to say but we don't actually know *for sure* what happens next- *especially* cause Brunhilda is a sentient gun#Or he could die but come back from it somehow!#I swear I don't mean any of this as wishful thinking I'm just genuinely thinking of the possibilities here.#Cause like this podcast does things in this vein a lot y'know. Not always as dark but still.#That said I do hope Francis' storyline continues in some form or another cause if not like *maaan*#In brighter news the Pepper Pete bit took me OUT and you know what I do get happy whenever Sneaky Pete shows up too LOL#Good little bits this episode in general but shoutout also to ''It's time to play HAIR OR THREAD!!!'' perfect.
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"Are you gonna feed Curly his meds? He really suffers without them..."
The irony of Anya's statement and that Curly arguably suffers more with the medication but it gives them, and arguably Anya, the peace of mind that he'll quiet down, easing their emotional suffering.
#something something anyas way of talking about post crash curly is easy to miss interms of her ableism cause i argue its the worse cause#shes supposed to be the most caring just like how curly was supposed to be the one making sure she was safe and how their dynamic flips#cause of course jimmy is the way he is to curly post crash and anya precrash but just like you expect more from curly before you expect#more from anya to not be more concerned by his noise at the end of it all and to not talk about him like hes not there cause she likely#thinks hes mentally hollow. like this isnt hate to anya but i think we need to acknowedge more how she has the same exact#issues with connection and trying and stagnation as the others and what she goes through should not be a reason to not analyze her faults#on these fronts#like sorry pals she did not try at all to actually connect to curly outside of her own way which is just not how you reach out like we have#no basis for how hard she tried but from what we see her just expressing that desire is not the same as making the attempts and i will#die on the hill that the miscommunication between anya and curly on a social front was two ways with Anya trying to communicate with curly#only in her own way and thinking from his side hes rejecting her or not getting it while curly is in his own head not hearing the full side#of anything like im sorry she was not making the major attempts the way we portray it in tandem with Curly leaning towards Jimmy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#captain curly#curlya#yeah this is whatever version of doomed curlya i think everyone on that ship is sort of a mid person with their own biases /pos#feeling better last days have been stressful and tiring and i have so many projects but hey! I signed the lease on my apartment I am a type#of owner of a type of home yay
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Justify away (Patreon)
#Doodles#Clinical Trial#Angel Martinez#Lee Smith#I had far too much fun drawing that first one even if I do think it's OOC lol#I don't think he'd touch them that casually I just reallyyy wanted to draw it#Thus his apology afterwards lol#They're in a particularly delicate mindframe at that point! No way he'd touch them without their express permission#Though he sure does overstep in other ways huh - that's kind of his MO haha he won't lift a hand against their will but anything else?#Fair game#He's creepy! Convinced he means well and in some ways he does but agh#I like how I honestly can't settle on the way I feel about him haha - I just feel A Lot towards him!#I'd tell him to treat Angel well but I already know he'd literally die before he made any other move pft.... Oh Lee...#His self-justifications are probably the scariest part of him - the way he can turn so quick on a dime if he just convinces himself#''No actually I intended to do that from the start'' uh huh - guy who definitely had everything figured out from the very beginning#Sure Lee lol#Which isn't to say he's not intelligent! That's part of his problem really lol he can talk himself around with logical arguments#Doesn't mean he's right but once he's settled he's hard to unsettle haha#What he regrets and what he doesn't give such an insight into what he values as well#Murder? Just doing more good than harm - harm reduction even getting rid of someone without remorse#Better him than someone else and better Brandon than let him run loose#Neverminding him taking the role of judge-jury-executioner - and this is no defense of Brandon I do basically agree with them both#But that's still not Lee's choice#But the closet? Something he does regret - because that was selfishly motivated that was inward-aimed with outward consequences#Murder was to help Angel and anyone else in the line of fire - the closet was Lee's own pleasure above all else#Makes sense that he'd be more worried about one than the other and that order being a little skewed lol#Not something he could justify to himself and so it became a regret! Man - the fact that the Reject-Reject ending has him predict Angel :(#Wonder if it's something he could ever spin the positive on if given enough time - everything happens pretty fast thereafter#Impulsive guy.... But that is part of the Lot I feel towards him haha
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more phoenix wright situations
#ace attorney tag#maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care.#gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth#without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly..#or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates.#i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable#there have to be Situations that make you Realise.#as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+#but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work#there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened.#Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations#the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is#people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong.#The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else.#But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me.#and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid !#so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all.#i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out...#not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing#i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life.#i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior.#does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment.#so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3
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something bad did indeed happen to that man. spent abt 25 minutes trying to find a better picture of that one (1) offical piece with his eyes open that wasnt compressed or tiny
#library of ruina#yan library of ruina#getting comfortable doodling some objects and mannequin shapes for very obvious reasons. i read the keypage story and now it has a grip on#my brain. wanting to go ahead and plan it out and then draw the mangled memory and nightmare that replays behind the eyelids in the darknes#it was cool to see the reason confirmed from my speculation. twas indeed another reason of blocking out present pain with closing of eyes#considering they made angela have a plot important reason for doing so it would only make sense for another to have a reason for it as well#well. after having a prominent part inside the thumb/index story line. its just going to be yapping about yan now i think#let me add a spoiler tag i suppose? vauge but just incase i dont want to be an asshole. even if most already have played rhe game#library of ruina spoilers#lor spoilers#i really liked the typewritter effect over the voice after distortion. especially so when the effect finishes before the actual garbled voi#does. it makes it feel as if it were being read out after it being written down rather than of own words or volition. along with the text#upon the screen during the fight being just prescripts rather than anything relating to the man himself like the other instances with such#text had been. paired w the name of distorted yan being untranslated to keep the intent of the name being unreadable or not understandable#more into the idea of stripping away of the self or any sense of a self. not personal and not even him anymore. the following of a goal for#the goal for it is given and there isnt any hope of having the ability to not do such a thing. people yearn for a reason and something to d#and for it to be given to them to not hold responsibility nor have to do their own choices anymore. once a crushing weight weighs down#inside the face of an absolute cruelty that is perpetuated and that crushed the dreams or even desires having them be but nothing how can#one move on? it was really nice to see at the end of the fight. its easier to just say such things than to actually do them. even if the ac#ions dont even feel as if they are ones own or that there isnt any say in the matter having to endure all the pain for seemingly nothing it#still is pain. that feeling inside is still real. it still happened. regardless of the circumstances that brought them about#the thumb/index or just fingers seem to be an exaggerated to the extreme showcase of how the colletivist mindset in an unhealthy manner#could be exhibited. the thumb with its hierarchy and absoluteness and the demand for respect along with its strict layers of showing who is#below and who is above. the ability to have power over those underneath . the participation inside of it and the already brought up yearnin#to be apart of a group and to have a title and position inside of a group and of power and even a desire like from pete to join one iirc#the index being of the cruel perpetuating cycle of pain people inflict upon one another a behavior beaten and upkept by the systems as they#drift and desire to live. which causes them to partcipate in that cycle out of necessity. cruel acts upon another in order to live and seei#a need to go ahead and do such things for if they dont they die and another will just do the same to them. social sciences talk and rolands#talks abt how the city opperates reinforce that fact. the index and prescripts are really just a show inside that extreme manner and in a#more literal sense of that. it was really cool to read it..
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unwell about neuvifuri again because for 400 years furina has encouraged neuvillette to open up to humanity, to make friends, to communicate and love and take time to enjoy himself, and over time neuvillette must have realized that furina never really did any of those things for herself, as hedonistic as she might’ve seemed on the surface
throughout the entire archon quest neuvillette is increasingly confused and distressed by furina’s refusal to communicate or confide in him… he notes that there’s something she feels she can’t trust him with after the arlecchino incident, and after their argument in his office he admits that he just doesn’t understand why she won’t communicate when that is the foundation of a healthy relationship (I will bet money that furina is the one who taught him that in the first place!)
he’s clear with her, she knows everything about him, but it slowly becomes evident that she doesn’t trust him in the same way and it must just eat neuvillette up inside that his closest confidant, the one who showed him how to form relationships and open up to people, can’t do the same with him
#I do think furina trusted neuvi the most but of course it could never be complete before the aq#and poor neuvi just doesn’t get why!!!!#why won’t she tell him what’s going on! why won’t she come to him when something’s wrong!#everyone going on abt one sided nvfr from furina’s end before 4.2#but honestly if anything it was one sided from neuvi’s end#furina had to convince herself she was totally alone… she couldn’t trust anybody… sob sob#neuvifuri#genshin impact#neuvillette#furina#blazie speaks
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El being *12 hours earlier* than the Cali timeline when she arrives at Nina. Will saying ‘it’s been 9 hrs’ in the scene following his monologue in the van.
We know that at some point their timelines merged when they arrived to save her…
But we don’t know when exactly those alignments took place when they were still apart… which just makes you wonder…
#byler#something something#el’s not stupid#she heard everything at rink o mania which included mike deflecting about not calling Will#she heard Dustin say mike was being annoying about Joyce’s telemarketing job#she got her powers back roughly around the time the van scene was happening we can presume…#why would she not check on Mike and Will after finding out about the Hawkins gang?#she was literally with them last and it would make sense for her to want to know where they are/what they are doing#and since the timeline is off with el at Nina… just makes you wonder#the sad painful looks el makes during Mike’s monologue…#if she heard anything from that van scene..#whether it be mike saying it wasn’t fate/destiny and was just simple dumb luck…#if she heard Will emotionally play off deep feelings he harbors as el’s#even writing off his painting as being commissioned by her…#oh and the heart??#if she heard that and heard will encourage mike with it before telling her he loved her#no wonder she looked miserable#and left dude on read at the end instead to focus on max#both after his monologue and at the cabin 😙#this line from s2 is so insane in the context of this too…#bc if she saw them in the van and saw Will’s speech…#she also saw mike’s reaction which was blurred for us…#Joyce: he’s not doing well…#El: I know. I saw.#Joyce: what else did you see?#El: 👀#delusional but free
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what would I do without you. indeed illario.
lucanis trust me! indeed illario. the ea-nasir vibes on this shitty little rat of a man (somehow still slightly affectionate despite myself)
I am obsessed with WHERE this letter is found and what we're meant to read into those context clues. I don't have a handy save for this mission right now to double check the details, but from memory: It's the room across from what seems implied to be Caterina's room (Lucanis says these are the family quarters, so Illario has kept her locked in her own room all this time probably?? Oh oh house arrest, house arrest for grandmother for ten thousand years style)? We find the scraps of a letter from Zara to Illario, torn to pieces with one fragment still in the empty fireplace so presumably we're meant to assume he burned it, and this old letter from Illario to Lucanis lying neatly on a table. Whose room is this? Because here's a theory one could put together that has some real crazymaking potential for me specifically at least:
Considering that we're helpfully down to only three Dellamortes to account for, it's likely either Lucanis' or Illario's room. If I'm remembering right/let's for a moment assume that Caterina is being confined to her own rooms -- the fact that Lucanis is her favourite and also heir apparent I'd say tips the scales for me that it's likely she'd keep him closest, whenever he's home. Thus opening for the possibility that all this time Illario has been staying in the room of the cousin he murdered but as it turns out not hard enough that he didn't come back again like a haunting, reading his own old letters to him that Lucanis apparently kept all this time (!!! ow !!!), and sparing them from the spiteful fate he gave Zara's 'aww chin up you'll get 'em next time babe' one, right across the hall from where the grandmother he apparently can't bring himself to kill or seriously hurt even with everything else he's done is imprisoned and i n c r e d i b l y pissed off, if she gets out of there while he's sleeping or something he's fucked. Has he been sleeping in Lucanis' bed since kidnapping Caterina????? (did they ever share a bed, when they were children? for comfort if not ever out of real necessity?) is this some kind of incredibly fucked up way to try to be close to them both somehow even when he is the one who messed it all up to begin with? no matter what I have so many questions here what is WRONG with this family???????? (well I don't think we have time to get into all that right now that's a novel not a text post probably fhsdkj)
#between this letter and lucanis' comment in hossberg about the disaster boat trip he went on with illario#something said click in my head and I went 'oh. they really are like my uncles then. say no more. I understand perfectly.'#like on a soul level I get it. putting it into words is a bit different but giving it my first shot here fjdsk#obviously 'yeah he killed his brother but he IS probably kind of sad about it' is like. not really redeeming in any real way here lol#but y'know it's something at least!#I think it's left intentionally ambiguous what illario is really feeling beneath all his theatrics and (bad. pathetic.) power ploys#he's certainly willing to use anything to his own ends for all that it's worth once he gets his grubby little claws on it!#but...#if only for lucanis' sake I want there to be *something* that could at least be mistaken for redeemable in a weird slanted light#in this little shit. the leftover fondness I do have for him from the wigmaker job blinds me perhaps. love does that sometimes. clearly#'my *only* friend. before you'. sigh here we go again my heart shattering into a million billion pieces once more#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte
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Why haven't i seen anyone talking about how horrifying the dark world is oh my god i have chills.
This is where everyone goes when they die. It doesn’t work on the same time as us. It is seemingly eternal and a place that corrupts.
There is a you when you die, there is an afterlife. This is not a good thing.
Life is the only time you get to enjoy. The rest is just bleakness and violence and suffering. And you are not you but you’re closer to you than you would like.
People are aware, they’re conscious but they're not in control.
There is only the death and the land of death. It is not a place created to cause suffering, that is all it is. A cesspit of all that leaves the world.
Even if Arthur gets back, there is no true hope. He will return. He will have to live his life knowing he will return. What the fuck?
#WHAT THE FUCK???#this is horrifying#like end universes/afterlifes are usally good this is insane i dont think ive come across anything simmilar#hi like i do re i cant not think about this#also CHARLIE NOOOOO#Part of me is convinced he will end up in the war place#i hope we get to see noel#I know we’ve passed there now#Which is sad#missed opportunity#also how will charlie show up?#he has to be alive for a readon right?#but maybe#I am insane now ok#what if#we have had an ep from the butcher pov before#What if we have one of noel#The manager tunes into him instead or something#and then its just half an hour of him and kayne making out /j#No but like#he has to be with kayne doesnt he?#what was the point of him saying that if not?#And it would mean we get to watch whatever the fuck kayne is up to in his whole ending the world plans#idk i miss the man#malevolent#malevolent podcast#Malevolent spoilers#malevolent 53#<- its my ep#spine speaks
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AND I MET THE CHANGE GOD TOO. OKAY. COOL OKAY
#I WASNT EVEN MEANING TO SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE DIALOGUE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT WAS HAPPENING FUCK#ill go and find it later if only to give myself peace of mind. BUT WOW. WHAT THE FUCK#my original plan was to 1) work my way to the king and talk to him 2) doom myself and take everyone down with me 3) loop back to floor 3#so i can visit the observatory and scrounge for any lore. although since i got killed that run siffrin asked the king to kill him first#which was intereresting. but i decided to have all doors unlocked that time around so i can just get the starcrest and go#but for some reason it wasnt working so i went to get the keyknife since i was already there and completely forgot i already had it#from the previous loop and THATS what triggered it. IT WAS FUNNY BUT ALSO SCARY BUT ALSO I THINK I GET WHAT THEY MEAN#about siffrin going back without actually changing. going along with a script even if his feelings on things change#the same way he has his own small rituals like the carving thing and does it for constancy. reassurance or safety even#and the times when he breaks script and ends horribly like the sadness attacking thing and bonnie yelling at him cause him to loop#to avoid it. although i cant really say anything bc id probably do the same thing. maybe not for the same reasons since im cruel#and make him do the worst to see what will happen since i put curiosity over rejection sensitivity as an observer and player but well.#i feel wrongfooted bringing it up since i dont have it myself but i have to wonder if this kind of leans into ocd tendencies.. i remember#reading something about how ocd is fuelled by fear. and things like counting and rituals are kind of used to cope with that?#if anyone knows anything more or talked abt it already id be really interested in hearing it bc im almost sure im not#the first to come to this conclusion. but i simply dont know enough nor have the confidence to broach the topic rn esp with how often#misconceptions around ocd get casually passed around so its hard for me to know what is and isnt a baseless assumption#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#playthru#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#change god#WHAT WAS THAT WITH WEARING LOOPS FACE THOUGH WHAT THE FUCKKK
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#talkys#at least i can still vague sadpost on here !#i feel like idk trope where something is being kept alive against their will#but not really... i like being alive i suppose#ill miss so much when im dead#but its like#i have no reason to do it !#no light at the end of the tunnel nothing beyond platitudes#the way that having no goals also helps to make me unlovable lmao#my dad is doing psychological warfare on me again and its like im never#going to gwt out of here or function normally or have a normal life#i dont even know what i want cause ive never been allowed to want anything#and well. anything one could ask for is too much i suppose#im just sad#i wish *i* was in a hotel room with my somebody while on a trip right now#away from here#getting snacks and dinner before bed#anything... anything...#i wish i could lucid dream...#delete later
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