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clarisse0o · 2 months

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Camp Wiegman-Part 31

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 5k

Masterlist

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Wednesday, January 6th, 2:45 PM - Class

Three days since classes resumed. Nothing much has changed for now. The only difference is that I can finally go back to the common room after class. My exams are finally over, and I've caught up on all my classes. It’s nice to be able to hang out with my friends again, especially Alexia since we'll soon be in different classes if all goes well. We should receive our responses to our choices tomorrow. The class council meeting will take place in a few hours. Yet the teachers haven't become any less annoying at the end of this semester. I'm relieved when the bell rings, signaling the end of our last class. Ale and I walk out with smiles on our faces. I received my last grade today, and let’s just say I aced it all.

"Hey, Bronze!" I shout when I see her in the hallway.

I apologize to Alexia, telling her not to wait for me, then walk over to meet my advisor, who's pinning up posters on a notice board. Apart from the morning checks, we've barely seen each other since classes started again. She's been less on my back, but I can tell she's still watching me from the shadows ever since I told her about Feli.

"Ona. How can I help you?"

I show her my math paper, proudly displaying a red fifteen. She congratulates me before continuing her work, without giving me much more attention. She’s distant. It's like she resents me for hiding Feli's intentions from her. I hate it when she makes me regret things. She should know that this situation already affects me enough without her adding her two cents.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Help me, then, if you're going to stick around."

I nod and hold the poster for her while she tapes it up. She pauses for a moment to take a look.

"So? What did you want to ask me?"

"I wanted to know if you could buy me a new phone? Or at least come with me to get one this weekend? Ever since mine broke, I haven’t been able to contact anyone."

"No."

My smile fades at her refusal, catching me off guard. I was expecting there wouldn’t be any problem. I hadn’t even prepared to convince her otherwise.

"What do you mean, no?"

"The answer is no. You won't be getting a new phone."

"But why? You already keep me here, and I'm getting tired of having to bother Ale every time I need to borrow hers."

"I said no, Ona. Don’t insist."

"But, but..." I stammer desperately. "You’re cutting me off from the world!"

I let go of the poster to face her. It falls to the ground since it was only attached on one side. Lucy sighs in frustration at the mess I made. It probably got torn, but that's the least of my worries right now.

"Pick it up, please."

I squint at her, but her stern gaze wins by a long shot. I give in and pick it up. I put it back in place so she can fix my mistake. I only let go once it's properly secured this time, then cross my arms, waiting for her response before continuing to help her.

"I don't see why you'd say no."

"And I don't see why you're reacting like this. You’re acting like a spoiled child."

"Yeah, well, I don’t like it when you tell me no."

"Someone has to, so you understand that not everything is a given."

I puff out my cheeks under her amused look. 1-0 for her. I finally sigh when she gives me a small hug and hands me a new poster.

"Come on, stop acting like a child. I’m doing this for your own good."

"I don't see how," I mutter.

"You don't see why?" she raises an eyebrow.

"No, I don't. How is refusing me a new phone for my own good?"

"Well, for starters, your ex is a dangerous psychopath. Does that answer your question?"

"That’s not a reason," I complain in a displeased whine.

"It is. By now, she’s probably still harassing your number, so if you want a new phone, you’ll need to change your number first."

I'm so tired of her always being right. I didn’t dare put my SIM card in Alexia’s phone for that exact reason. I didn’t want to face her messages and calls.

"Fine..." I concede, facing the facts.

"I can help you sort this out, but in the meantime, you’ll have to make do with Alexia’s phone or mine if you really need to contact someone."

I feel ashamed for thinking she just wanted to stop me from communicating. She only wants to make sure Feli can’t find me. She’s redoing all the steps my mother took a year and a half ago.

"I’m sorry..."

She smiles, ruffling my hair in response. I help her hang the last poster, and she picks up the old ones she left on the floor before we head down the stairs.

"The steps are going to be complicated... My mom usually handles that kind of thing since she pays for my plan. I have no idea how to do it."

"I figured. That’s why I’m offering to do it together since you’ll need to call her."

"Are you serious?"

"You want a phone, don’t you?"

I groan, already knowing what her next answer will be. How am I going to ask my mom to change my SIM card without explaining the situation? I didn’t want her to know. I need to prove to her that I can handle things without her intervening in my life.

"Luce?"

"I already told you not to call me that here, Ona," she scolds.

"Sorry... But... Do you think I’ll have to tell my mom about... Feli and all that?"

"I won’t force you to tell her if you don’t want to, but she’ll need an explanation. As a mother, I’d want to know about this kind of thing with my kids. But I know you’re not on good terms with her, so it’s up to you."

"I’ve been wanting to switch to another mobile phone plan for a while. This could be a good opportunity to negotiate."

"Then you just have to come up with a believable excuse," she says, stopping in the hall. "In the meantime, you’ll have to wait. By the way, you’ll need to give me your phone. Or I’ll come to your room tonight instead. I want to destroy your SIM card."

"Okay... Do you think the stolen phone excuse will work?"

"Maybe," she shrugs. "Now, can I get back to work?"

"Can I stay with you?"

"Now that you’re rid of me, you want to stick around?" she laughs.

"I never wanted to get rid of you," I say, following her to her office. "Well..."

I turn around and walk backward. I return her smile when we face each other.

"Maybe that was the case at first. But it’s not anymore!"

Unexpectedly, Lucy grabs my arm. She must have underestimated her strength because I find myself pressed against her. She takes a step back, apologizing. I frown when I realize the apology isn’t directed at me.

"My apologies, Mrs. Wiegman. She’s a bit scatterbrained when she wants to be."

I widen my eyes, realizing who’s behind me. I slowly turn around to indeed see the principal I almost ran into. Luckily, she said her name, or I would have made a fool of myself. This time I would’ve gotten scolded by Wiegman herself.

"No worries, it’s more fear than harm. Did Ona cause any trouble again?"

"Oh, no, no. She just told me she lost her phone. We’re going to call her mom to have it blocked."

"Did it get stolen here?" she asks me.

"Uh, no. It happened outside the camp... I haven’t had time to tell Bronze," I lie.

"Oh. Will you take care of it, Miss Bronze?"

"Of course. That was my intention."

"Good, I must go. I have a class council meeting to attend. Yours, in fact," she informs me.

"Oh..." I murmur, feeling uneasy.

"Good evening."

She continues on her way to the stairs. I feel Lucy’s hand on my lower back, urging me to move forward. That was a close call. I enter her office, which is empty. Lucy drops the posters she was still holding into a bin and sits behind her desk.

"Is Ingrid not here today?"

"She is, just not here."

"Okay," I reply, sitting across from her. "Why did you say that to Wiegman? Are you really going to call my mom?"

"Of course not," she laughs. "I don’t even have her contact info. I just didn’t want her to know you’re staying in my office for fun."

"Hum..." I mutter, resting my head in my hands. "Hey, I’ve had a question on my mind for a while."

"Hum?"

"Why did you take it so badly that Jenni and-"

We’re interrupted by a noise at the door. We both look toward it, and I’m surprised to see Alessia there. She seems just as surprised as I am. My advisor breaks our eye contact by inviting her in. She hands her a paper about a student who apparently went to the infirmary, if I understood correctly. Lucy needs to sign it to acknowledge that the student won’t be returning to class.

"Aren’t you with the others?" she asks me.

"No," I reply simply.

"Are you going to join them?"

"I don’t know, maybe," I shrug.

"My office isn’t a tea room," Lucy says harshly, handing back the paper.

"Sorry," Alessia replies. "Thanks for signing the paper."

"Hum. Now get back to class."

Alessia nods, giving me one last look. She says, "See you later," before leaving the room for good. I follow her with my eyes before turning back to Lucy. She rolls her eyes, making me chuckle.

"She really doesn’t leave you alone, does she? What was that New Year's thing with her?" she asks.

"Mapi wanted to prove to me that she’s got me in her sights, if you know what I mean. She stuck to me all night to make her jealous."

"Well, it seems like she succeeded, given the way she’s eyeing you."

"You should’ve seen, she got wasted before midnight," I sigh.

"And does she interest you?"

"No. I found her nice, but much less so since we disagreed on a subject. And besides, she’s not my type. Even if she was, I don’t want to get into a relationship right now. As you said yourself, I have a dangerous ex-psychopath."

"That doesn’t stop you from having a new relationship. Maybe not with Alessia, but with someone else in your life could help you move on."

"Drop it," I mutter. "I don’t want to talk about it."

I avoid the conversation by burying my head in my arms. I hear her sigh, but it seems she drops the subject, getting back to work based on the noises I hear. I wait a few more minutes to make sure before lifting my head from my hiding place. I smile when I see she’s wearing her glasses. I love seeing her with them; she wears them so well.

"I can understand that you had a disastrous relationship, but to the point of not wanting another one..."

And she’s back at it. I roll my eyes in exasperation.

"I’m not ready, that’s all. I understand that everyone’s different, but I can’t. There are still too many scars."

"Okay, no need to take it like that," she rolls her eyes in turn. "I won’t insist on the subject anymore."

She finally goes silent, much to my relief. I continue to watch her, or rather, admire her as she works. I have to admit, she has a lot of charisma. Our silence reminds me that I didn’t get to finish my question about my roommate’s relationship. That’ll have to wait for another time. Since she decided to stop talking, I rest my head in my arms and enjoy the quiet to relax.

Wednesday, January 6th; 6:15 PM - Instructor's Office.

I groan as tremors take over my body. I gradually emerge, remembering where I am. I sit up and rub my eyes, catching Lucy's smug smile.

- "About time."

- "What time is it?" I murmur sleepily.

- "Quarter past six."

- "What?" I exclaim, fully awake now. "You let me sleep? For two hours?"

- "Actually, you left me talking to thin air for a while. I realized at some point that you’d fallen asleep, so I decided to let you be. You looked like you needed it."

- "You should’ve woken me up earlier! I wanted to join the others!" I grumble.

- "Well, you'll spend time with them tomorrow."

I sigh, stretching to chase away the stiffness in my body from the nap. Lucy mocks me.

- "Come here."

Without thinking, I lean over the desk. My reflex is to pull back when I see her hands approach my face. She chuckles.

- "Come on, I just want to clean up your smudged makeup."

I lean forward again, understanding her intent. I roll my eyes as she wipes under them with her thumbs.

- "There, all done," she smiles.

- "Thanks, and thanks for letting me sleep," I say, slumping back against the chair.

- "You’re welcome. I knew it would do you some good."

- "If you say so," I reply playfully, rolling my eyes. "Any news from the class council?"

- "No, sorry. And even if I did, you'd have to wait until tomorrow, like everyone else."

- "You’re mean," I pout.

- "Patience. I’m sure you’ll know more by tomorrow morning."

- "I hope so. Weren't you supposed to attend?"

- "No, it's just for the teachers and the principal in this kind of meeting."

- "I didn’t know that."

- "You couldn’t have known," she smiles. "Anyway, didn’t you want to meet up with your friends?"

- "At this hour, I’ll just join them at the cafeteria."

- "Alright. So can we talk about the insomnia you mentioned on New Year's? I doubt your little nap was a coincidence."

- "On second thought… Maybe I’ll go meet the others..."

- "Too late, your chance to escape is gone," she teases.

She’s only half-joking, as I know she won’t let me go now. Why does she have to remember everything?

- "They persist, but I’m managing," I say honestly.

- "I thought I told you to talk to me if that was the case," she frowns.

- "I’ll tell you if it gets worse."

- "So it could get worse?"

Clearly, I tend to speak too quickly with her. She manages to get me to talk so naturally. I’ll have to learn to watch my words if I don’t want her to know too much.

- "A few weeks before starting school, I had nightmares. I’d wake up in the middle of the night, and it’s starting to happen again. They’re not as bad right now, but they could become more intense."

- "See, this is exactly the kind of thing you should talk to me about more often."

- "I’m sorry," I sigh. "There was a time when I wasn’t having them anymore… I didn’t think they’d come back."

- "Do you want to talk to me about these nightmares?"

- "No. They’re about my past... It’s nothing important," I lie.

- "Hmm," she responds skeptically. "And what’s the worst consequence you’ve had so far?"

- "A panic attack, I guess. The nightmares feel so real that they make me panic," I admit in a whisper.

She sighs, running a hand over her face. I bite my lip, thinking I probably should have told her as soon as they returned. I wanted to avoid worrying her over something so minor while I was still in Barcelona. I had hoped to solve the problem before coming back, but that wasn’t the case. Seeing Feli again must be the cause. I’m angry at myself for not being able to shake it off. I had managed to get rid of it before coming here.

- "Alright. If it gets worse, I want you to tell me as soon as possible, and if you have a panic attack, I want to be notified. Is that clear?"

I nod, not daring to argue. Her tone leaves no room for disobedience.

- "I’ll also inform the night supervisors on your floor."

Great... Now I’ll have to be even more discreet than before. Well, at least they’ll be warned if something more serious happens. I don’t think it will, but you never know. I’d hate to disturb Lucy in the middle of the night. I’m already bothered just by the thought of possibly waking up Alexia if I’m not careful.

- "Alright, I’m done with my work. We can head to the cafeteria together if you want."

- "Yeah."

- "No homework for tomorrow?"

- "No. Our teachers aren’t giving us anything since we change classes next week."

- "Oh right, silly me."

- "By the way, um..." I begin hesitantly. "Can you help me with that? Well, not really help, but supervise me or something like that. I was more serious when you were helping me, and I might slack off if you’re not on my case anymore..."

I feel embarrassed seeing her raise an eyebrow. I don’t like asking for this kind of thing, so I sink into my chair as if it would make me disappear. A refusal from her would be utterly humiliating. Finally, she gives me a silly smile.

- "You’re going to end up on the floor if you keep sinking like that."

- "Oh, shut up," I say, sitting up straight. "I’m not used to asking for this kind of thing. I’ve always managed on my own until now."

- "Oh, but I didn’t say anything," she smiles a bit more.

- "But you’re thinking it really loudly!"

- "Here, after your classes. You can manage your time based on how much homework you have. Does that work for you?"

- "Really?"

- "Yes, of course. But I won’t be able to help you as much as before. I’ll only step in if it’s absolutely necessary. Don’t forget that I have a job too."

- "No worries. I just need your supervision to stay motivated."

- "I know," she smiles. "We’ll start when you switch classes and all that."

- "Yep, that works for me."

- "Good," she says, closing her binder. "Now, how about we go eat? I’m hungry."

I nod enthusiastically. She puts away her binder while I grab my jacket and bag. The building is empty at this hour. She locks the main door behind us. It’s pitch black and still freezing outside. I tighten my jacket as I see snowflakes clinging to the ground.

- "Does it ever stop snowing here?" I complain.

- "I think we’ll have it for a little while longer," she laughs.

- "How do you handle it, coming from Portugal too?"

- "Well, you get used to it, and I don’t complain as much as you," she teases.

I sigh and cross my arms to preserve my warmth. She’s probably right. Lucy complains less than I do. We reach the cafeteria, where she waits with me at the entrance after I tell her I see my friends coming from a distance.

- "Still good for this weekend?"

- "Of course, if you’re still up for it. It’s your only way out of school anyway, since I’m not letting you go home."

- "So I can crash at your place in return?"

- "I never said that. I said a weekend, not multiple."

- "You’re forbidding me from going home. You owe me at least that."

- "I don’t owe you anything," she laughs. "I’m doing this for you," she adds with a wink.

- "Yeah, right."

I turn around when I hear the door open with a rather noisy group. Bingo, it’s my friends.

- "Well, enjoy your meal."

- "Thanks, you too," I wish her.

We exchange a smile before she leaves with Ingrid, who arrived shortly after my friends entered. Everyone heads to the dining hall except Alexia, who comes over to me.

- "So, what were you doing after class?"

- "I was with Bronze for a bit. I wanted to join you all after, but I fell asleep at her desk," I admit.

- "Bravo," she teases.

Alexia is in the best position to know that I’m running on short nights. I had to tell her. I could have hidden it, but I wanted to avoid scaring her by going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. That’s where I need to go to pull myself together. Given my clumsiness, I’d probably wake her up by accident while doing so. It hasn’t happened yet, but stealth isn’t my strong suit. For example, on the first night, I bumped into my desk. Last night, I stubbed my little toe on the bed frame... I’m already dreading what will happen tonight.

We arrive at our table with our trays full. I start eating while they tell me about what I missed after class. It doesn’t seem like much since they didn’t do much except play foosball. Everyone is here tonight, which is quite rare. At least, that's what I thought until I noticed someone was missing.

- "Isn't your sister eating with us tonight?" I asked Leah.

- "Nah, she told me she's eating with her friends. Why?"

- "Just curious. I saw her this afternoon, so I expected to see her with you guys."

- "Oh yeah? Where was that?"

I explained to her what happened in Lucy's office. Based on what she told me, I thought she'd be here. I hope she didn't take it badly that Lucy kicked her out of her office. I didn't really understand why Lucy acted that way. Since the topic of Alessia was brought up, Alexia took the opportunity to question Leah about me to see if she knew anything. I quickly kicked her under the table, not particularly wanting to discuss such matters in front of everyone. It didn't convince Alexia, though, who seemed determined to find out more.

- "I have no idea," she replied. "We don't meddle in each other's relationships. Why, are you interested?"

The question caught me off guard. We had never discussed this kind of thing together before. She didn't seem to mean any harm, judging by the smile on her face.

- "Oh no, not really," I replied, smiling back. "I just like her as a friend, that's all. It's just that Ale and Mapi have been fixated on this since New Year's, so she couldn't resist asking you."

- "What's your type, anyway?" Alba asked.

- "I don't have any particular preference. I suppose brunettes, since all my exes were. But I don't just judge by appearance."

- "Speaking of brunettes..."

I furrowed my brows at Claudia's insinuation. I quickly understood what she meant when I jumped at the feeling of a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see my supervisor's green eyes staring back at me. Since I was facing away from their table today, I didn't see her approach.

- "Don't you get tired of scaring me all the time?"

- "It's not my fault you get startled so easily," she smiled. "When are you heading back to your room?"

- "Probably after dinner," I shrugged. "Why?"

- "Aren't you going to the common room first?"

- "I don't think so," I said, briefly glancing at Ale for confirmation.

- "I'll stop by after eight to fix your phone problem."

- "I can handle it myself, you know."

- "No. I said I'd take care of it. See you later."

I groaned as she ruffled my hair before walking away. I watched her until she left the room. When I looked back at the table, I noticed everyone was staring at me.

- "What?"

- "What's this phone problem?" Patri asked.

- "My phone's dead. I threw it in a fit of anger."

- "Do you want us to take a look at it?" Claudia offered. "Maybe we can fix it?"

- "I don't think so. It's in pieces, so I doubt you could do much, but thanks for offering."

- "Whatever you say."

- "Come on, finish your meal. The last thing we need is Bronze getting on our case for being late."

- "Relax," I teased. "If she takes it out on anyone, it'll be me, not you."

I finished my meal, as I was one of the last ones eating. It was clear the issue between Ale and Lucy was far from resolved. It seemed like she was trying to make a good impression at every opportunity. I really need to talk to Lucy about it. Once we all finished, we headed back to our rooms just before eight. No one felt like going to the common room. We made it back in time, as Lucy arrived a few minutes later. For the first time, she sat next to me on the bed instead of taking my desk chair. She got straight to the point, asking for my phone. She started working on it while asking Alexia if she had a good day. Alexia seemed too surprised to respond properly, which made me smile. She was so thrown off that she excused herself to go take a shower.

- "Are you really going to destroy it?" I asked when I saw her remove the SIM card.

- "I'm going to put it in my phone first. Do you have something to write with nearby?"

- "For what?"

- "To save important numbers, like Mapi's, for example."

I nodded and went to get some paper and a pen. By the time I returned, she had already inserted the SIM card into her phone. She handed it to me so I could enter my passcode to unlock it. Lucy looked over my shoulder as notifications flooded the screen. I bit my lip at the many missed calls and unread messages. Most were from unknown numbers. The rest were from Mapi, worried about not hearing from me.

- "Can I read them?" she asked.

I nodded and handed it back to her. I had nothing to hide and preferred she read them herself rather than me. Curiosity got the better of me, though, and I noticed she started with Mapi's messages. One message in particular caught my attention. I panicked and tried to grab the phone from her, but Lucy held me off.

- "No, please! Don't read that nonsense!"

I nearly crushed her, but she managed to pin my hand behind her back and wrapped her arm around my neck. My free hand tried to reach the phone, but it was a lost cause as she stretched her arm out of reach.

- "'Sexy Commander took away your phone?'" she read, raising an eyebrow. "What's with that nickname?" she laughed. "I assume she's talking about me?"

I stopped struggling now that she had read the one thing I didn't want her to. She looked at me amusedly, waiting for an answer.

- "It's just a Mapi thing. I already told her to stop, but you know how she is; once she starts something, it's a lost cause."

- "Hmm," she smiled. "You'll have to explain the origin of that nickname one day. I imagine it's not new."

- "You don't need to know everything in life."

- "But I want to know," she challenged.

- "I think we have more important things to do, don't we?"

- "You're right, but you won't get away with it," she teased. "Let's check the other messages."

She released her hold on me so I could sit properly next to her. Most of the messages were from unknown numbers. It couldn't be Feli's since I blocked her. But the content of the messages made it clear it was her. They were full of apologies or "let me talk to you." Some even contained the violence and anger of being ignored. I eventually stopped reading, but Lucy kept going until the end. She said nothing before telling me to grab something to write with. I listened as she started dictating the numbers I needed. I didn't save many. The first ones I took were Mapi's, Sam's, and Lucy's. I also kept the numbers of my high school friends I reconnected with, as well as my mom's, the house's, and Marcus's. Since the SIM card would be destroyed, I might as well keep them. She turned off her phone, removed the SIM card, and unceremoniously broke it. She folded it several times until it snapped in two. I wasn't sure what I was feeling at that moment.

- "Are you okay?"

- "Yeah... Thanks for doing all this."

- "If you need to communicate, you can come see me, and I'll lend you my phone."

I nodded, biting my lip. She raised her arm, inviting me to snuggle against her. I sighed as she stroked my hair to help me relax. I'll never understand why she gets so involved in my problems, but I'm really glad she does. From the beginning, she said she wouldn't let me go, and she wasn't lying. I'm developing a real affection for her, and it's growing stronger every day. I moved away from her when Alexia interrupted us by coming out of the bathroom. She doesn't know the extent of our relationship. Plus, since I know things aren't going well between them, I don't want her to know about us.

- "Alexia?" my supervisor called.

- "Yes?"

- "If one night things get really bad for Ona, I want to be notified. You'll tell the instructor in charge of surveillance."

- "I can handle myself just fine," I retorted.

- "Be quiet; I'm not talking to you," she scolded me harshly. "I know you won't tell me. Can I count on you, Alexia?" she asked.

- "Yes, of course."

- "Good. I'm going back to my room now that everything's settled. Good night, girls."

- "Good night," Ale and I replied.

She closed the door behind her. I sighed and collapsed onto the bed. My break was short-lived, as I still needed to shower before crawling under the sheets.

Thursday, January 7th; 3:30 AM - Ona and Alexia's Room

I woke up to persistent shaking. I was completely disoriented. I looked around to get my bearings. I felt like I was suffocating, like I couldn't breathe. I realized what was happening when I saw Alexia's panicked face. She forced me to look at her by gripping my head between her hands. I felt sticky and tried to catch my breath as best I could.

- "Hey Ona! It's just me, calm down. Do you want me to call someone?

I shake my head slowly. I don’t want to disturb anyone else. I have no idea what just happened, but my condition doesn’t look good. Alexia nervously bites her lip. She doesn’t seem to agree with me.

- "I need to inform Bronze... She was clear about her orders..."

- "No," I almost shout. "It’s fine, I promise... D-don’t wake her for nothing."

- "Ona... It took me ten minutes to wake you up... You were really panicked, and you were almost screaming in your sleep. She made me promise to inform her... I don’t want to get on her bad side more than I already am! She’s my boyfriend’s best friend," she adds dramatically.

- "D-don’t call her," I insist. "I’ll deal with her when the time comes. I-I, it’ll be okay. You can go back to sleep."

- "No way. You were having a panic attack, weren’t you?"

I sigh and get out of bed. Alexia remains sitting while I search for a new pajama set in my wardrobe. She watches me until I’m in the bathroom. I change because my pajamas are soaked with sweat. I sigh as I lean against the sink. When I open my eyes, I see my roommate watching me intently from the doorway. She looks really worried, which only makes things worse.

- "I’m fine."

- "Don’t lie to me. Who’s Feli? You kept saying her name, telling her to stop."

- "Please keep this to yourself."

- "If you don’t tell me, I’ll find Bronze right now."

- "She’s my ex, nothing more," I concede. "And stop being afraid of her. She’s not that scary once you get to know her a little."

- "I didn’t know you were that close to her..."

I let out yet another sigh as I splash water on my face to clear my head. I then dry my face.

- "That’s not the case," I say, leaning against the sink.

- "I’m sure she knows more about this than I do. Am I wrong? You could have talked to me, you know. I wouldn’t judge you for being close to an instructor!"

- "Ale... It’s not like that. She’s just helping me get better, that’s all."

- "Should I go look for her?"

- "No, I’m fine."

- "You’ll talk to her about it tomorrow, then."

I groan but nod to appease her. I don’t plan to do it, but at least she’ll leave me alone. We leave the bathroom and return to our respective beds. Alexia quickly falls back asleep. As for me, I try not to think about my nightmare, which keeps replaying in my mind. I just had my first panic attack, and I wasn’t even awake. It’s the first time it’s happened to me. I hope it’s the last because I really don’t want to involve Lucy in this. She’s already taken enough care of me during the day, and I don’t want to disturb her during her sleep. I eventually manage to drift back to sleep a few minutes later.

#woso #lucy bronze #woso community #barca femeni #ona batlle #woso soccer #lionesses #sefutbol fem #ona batlle x lucy bronze #alexia putellas

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abiiors · 1 year

Text

Cold Shower

Warnings: minors dni!!! Smut, unprotected smut, she/her pronouns, the word “juxtaposition” appears because this is matty’s pov sorry. a bit cringe ngl (the foreplay bit is good tho)

wc: 2.1k

Heat has settled like a heavy blanket all over the house.

All day Matty has been trying to figure out what’s wrong with the air conditioning. He’s not much of a handyman to begin with and now the thought of having to sacrifice his lazy day with her on stupid household appliances makes him fume even more.

He’s only wearing thin cotton boxers, yet sweat trickles down his back in rivulets and gathers at the base of his spine. He would have gone for a swim if the sun weren’t so blazing hot outside. Instead, his mind wanders back to her and what she might be doing up in the bedroom.

Before he left her to go inspect the sudden lack of cool air, they had both been in bed; legs intertwined, her fingers brushing his chest occasionally, his drawing circles on her hips as they both read their books. Well, he read his giant Serious book while she read her smutty trashy romance. And while he always teased her about it, he couldn’t help abandoning his book to peak into hers.

Right as the couple on paper have their first passionate kiss in the rain.

His frustration grows as he thinks of the soft surprised sounds she makes every time there’s unexpected intimacy on the page, almost as if she’s experiencing it herself. The way she ends up lightly gnawing on her bottom lip to stop herself from grinning wide. Matty teases her about that too; actually, he doesn’t stop teasing her until she inevitably chucks the book at him and hides her face in the pillow.

He abandons all thoughts of fixing the AC and makes his way back to the bedroom.

‘It’s hopeless,’ he announces loudly before he even properly enters the room, ‘I’ll call someone tomorrow but we can get a hotel room if it’s too hot for you…’ Matty trails off when there’s no response. Instead, there’s soft, even breathing.

Her long legs are sprawled on top of the sheets, naked entirely apart from the very short hipster shorts that she wears around the house to combat the heat. And right now, they do wonders for Matty’s imagination as he stares at the curve of her ass. Then slowly at the thin tank top that sticks to the contours of her body, to the loose hair that flutter on her neck. She’s almost asleep. Almost, if it weren’t for the restless pout on her face.

‘Baby…’ he moves towards her.

‘Hmm?’ she responds sleepily and the soft sound makes his blood rush down south.

‘Are you sleepy?’ He sits at the edge of the bed and takes her feet in his lap, moves one finger up her calf and watches her squirm a little.

‘No,’ she smiles at him, ‘just lazy. I can’t really sleep in this heat,’ then suddenly she remembers and props herself up on her forearm. ‘What happened to the AC?’

He shrugs, ‘I’m not a handyman.’

‘Then you’re not coming anywhere near me today,’ she shrugs in return, ‘it’s so hot I can’t even think about cuddling right now.’

‘Oh, absolutely not,’ he grabs her leg and pulls her towards him. She shrieks and laughs when he falls on top of her, sweaty bodies colliding as Matty attacks her with kisses all over her face and finally as he captures her mouth in his.

Lying on top of her doesn’t really help with his…situation. If anything, he can feel the front of his boxers tightening as she sighs into the kiss.

‘Babe, I know what you want,’ she speaks against his mouth, ‘but I think I'm going to melt into a puddle if we keep going.’ He’s about to open his mouth to make a lewd joke but she shuts him up with a glare. ‘Not in a good way.’

‘Alright then.’ He hooks an arm under her legs and before she has the chance to question it, she’s up in the air, being thrown over his shoulder while he practically beelines to the bathroom.

Her ass is up in the air, right in front of his face while he fumbles with the shower controls. He expects more shrieks and laughter as soon as the cold water hits them. Instead, she lets out a loud moan that shoots straight to his dick.

‘Fuck,’ she sighs again, ‘this feels so good!’

He lowers her gently, noses touching each other as droplets of water cling to her eyelashes and rest on her lips. ‘Better than this?’

Matty grinds his hips into hers and groans softly when she throws her head back. The water has already soaked through her top making it translucent. Her nipples stand out against the white fabric, pebbled and pink. ‘Nothing is better than this,’ she whispers and kisses him deeply.

His movements are frantic, a hand coming up to protect her head as he slams her back against the wall and deepens the kiss. His tongue flicks against her lips, tasting the water and remnants of her lip balm while she palms him through his boxers.

‘Off with these,’ she moves her hands frantically, ‘I need to feel you.’

And he needs to feel her too; so desperately that he might just try to rip her clothes off her. She tastes sweet; like the honeycomb ice cream she had been eating earlier. They don’t break the feverish kisses as he shimmies out of his boxers and Matty shivers when her hand wraps around him.

‘Fuck!’ he groans loudly in her hair, momentarily forgetting everything as she moves her hands up and down his length. ‘Darling, you feel s–so good.’

Then almost as if he has snapped back to his senses, he hooks a finger under the band of her shorts and peels away the soaked fabric from her body. Wet curls fall into his eyes, partially obstructing his view of her but it’s not like he can keep his eyes open for long as she strokes him over and over.

A loud gasp fills the bathroom when his fingers touch her swollen clit. Her grip on him goes slack, hands stilling in place as she moans out his name. Fingers moving, in circles, over her slit and parting her folds, he basks in the way his name sounds from her mouth.

Matty, Matty, Matty… again and again and again, every time he teases her entrance with his fingers and grips her waist to keep her from falling.

‘Need you, Matty,’ she whines, ‘please, PLEASE.’ And she sounds so sweet begging for him that he plunges her fingers in and kisses her hungrily to swallow her moans.

He nearly moans in return when she clenches around his fingers, tight and wet and needy; always needy for more. He imagines how she would feel around his dick, although he knows the feel of her very well. All the groves and contours of her body, the way she tastes everywhere, the way she sounds depending on where he touches her. Her back arches off the wall, tits brushing onto his bare chest and he increases his pace.

‘Perfect girl,’ he tells her, ‘my gorgeous, perfect girl.’

She becomes more and more like putty in his hands with each thrust of his fingers. His body screams to be closer to her, closer than he already is but he needs to see her fall apart around his fingers first and by the looks of it, she’s not far away.

‘I’m so close, baby,’ she whimpers and buries her face in his chest, ‘harder, please, ple—’ the words turn into a strangled scream when he roughly flicks her clit with his thumb.

‘That’s it darling,’ he encourages, ‘be a good girl now.’

She tries to hold on longer, almost as if she’s savouring the feeling of his fingers inside her, wanting to stay in this moment as long as possible. But he hooks his fingers inside her, and finally broken moans and gasps echo around the room as Matty feels her cum all over his hand.

He is so tempted to bring the hand up to his mouth and get a taste but he keeps moving his fingers in and out. Lets her ride it out until she can finally open her eyes.

Then, as if he’s possessed, he holds out the hand in front of her. ‘Lick it clean,’ he rasps, low and barely restrained, still a command. ‘All of it.’

Her cheeks flush and he almost laughs at the juxtaposition. Seconds ago she had been screaming all sorts of obscene things and now the thought of licking her own release off his hand is what makes her blush. But she maintains steady eye contact with him, pupils dilated, eyes wide, water clinging to her eyelashes as she slowly does as she’s told. Then, for extra measure, swirls her tongue around his fingers and hollows her cheeks to suck them clean.

‘You’ll be the death of me, you know?’ he groans softly and her answering hum sends a jolt through his whole body.

‘Kiss me?’ she asks sweetly once she’s done.

And Matty’s more than eager. Now all he tastes is sweet honeycomb ice cream mixed with the taste of her and for a moment all other thoughts go out the window. That is until she pumps him harder and lines him up against her once again.

‘Want me inside you again?’ he smirks.

‘Will you give me what I want if I say yes?’ she asks coyly.

Matty moves closer, trapping her between him and the wall, and makes sure that his very hard cock sits right between her folds. The sensation intense enough to drive both of them crazy but he’s relentless and determined.

‘Oh how generous of you,’ he teases and presses onto her further. She moans again and looks at him desperately.

‘I want you, I want you, I’ll keep saying it,’ she breathes, ‘I want–fuck,’ he pushes his tip inside and nudges her to continue.

‘You…’ she moans right in his ear as he pushes in the rest of the way.

For one tender moment, his heart swells at the thought of her wanting him so much. Her saying it to him over and over again, and not just in the bedroom. Not just for sex.

But then she drags her nails down his back and all tender thoughts fly out of his head. Matty unleashes himself, thrusting into her over and over, recklessly, hard and fast. What was meant to be slow love making on a hot summer day has turned into so much more.

The shampoo bottles fall and clatter on the floor as she grabs the rack to support herself. But he doesn’t slow down and she doesn’t tell him to slow down. She leaves scratches on his back; a reward and an encouragement. Softly bites onto his shoulder to muffle her screams. And although he would love to be all marked up for the whole world to see, he wants to hear her screaming his name much much more.

‘Louder, baby,’ he commands, ‘the louder you scream for me, the harder you get it.’

Instantly, she obliges and lets go of all inhibitions. There’s only her and her scent that surrounds him and her voice that echoes over and over again.

They grab at each other frantically, like they would fall apart if either let go until some body wash clatters to the floor and she laughs.

‘God, Matty, you drive me crazy,’ she whimpers as she clenches around him one more time, tighter and tighter. She’s on the edge again, ready to let go again.

‘Cum for me again, baby,’ Matty whispers in her ear and bites her earlobe, ‘I know you want to.’

She nods with her eyes closed, breathing hard. And he keeps thrusting into her at a bruising pace even when she falls apart for the second, on and on and on till the pressure at the base of his spine almost makes him lose it.

‘Matty,’ she pants but she’s incapable of forming words, forming any thoughts. So cock-drunk and blissed out that he moans at the expression on her face. Moments later, his legs tremble as he feels himself spill into her over and over again. Until all he sees is black for a solid two seconds.

Miraculously, they hold each other up on shaking, trembling legs; still locked together, panting in tandem. The shower is still running; even now when the water is nice and cold, both of them feel the heat coursing through their veins.

‘God, we’re like animals in heat,’ she laughs into his chest. ‘We were supposed to cool down!’

‘We will,’ he kisses the top of her head, ‘in five more minutes. Or ten more minutes. Or whenever I can bring myself to move away from you.’

#matty healy x reader #smut writing #matty x reader #minors do not interact

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leahplayz13 · 3 months

Text

Loving You Is complicated

Cheating! Keigo x Female Reader

WARNING: Angst, suicide, cheating, and toxic relationships.

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Oh, Keigo never liked Y/N. The relationship with Y/N was like a roller coaster. One moment he pampers her so much that she feels like she's in heaven, and a few days later he goes into complete ignoring mode and doesn’t even come home. And, later, of course, he doesn’t even answer your questions. You definitely don’t need to know that he spent these days with some fans in another city.

Why did he need an average person who didn’t even stand out in life? God, do you even have social media? Keigo agreed to this relationship, let's say, only for his own benefit. Now he has a home-cooked meal every night (when he gets home, of course) and a warm body in his bed. God, how he didn’t care about them. They were just a nice fuck.

At least he came home this time. But seemed completely uninterested in the conversation while Mari tried to tell them about their day. The guy was glued to the phone, nodding and occasionally making some sounds in response to your words, while looking at some half-naked photo of his fan that was sent to him in private messages. "Yes...yes, Y/N. Of course." Keigo glances up and sees that you are walking closer to him, so he closes out the conversation and goes on Tiktok. "Do you ever actually listen to me?" Y/N stands in front of him with her hands on her hips.

"I’m listening now, aren’t I?" Keigo said, without even bothering to look up from his phone. He knew he was being inconsiderate, but they were just a lump of warm flesh. A minor inconvenience that he barely thought about. Ignoring you now and then was perfectly fine, he told himself. After all, he would tell the fans that he couldn’t find the time for them because he had an unbelievably... demanding girlfriend (who would always keep him in the house). An adorable lie that would make his fans’ hearts melt in sympathy for him.

He then gives you a distracted smile before going back onto the conversation with his fan, not caring if you saw it. Those intense gold eyes met yours for a moment. But no, he pretended not to see the tiredness lurking in them. No, he didn’t see how impatient you were with him either. He looked back at his phone, already submerged in his shallow, superficial world, leaving Y/N to only drown in trying to get to him. Y/N then walks away to the kitchen to grab her phone off of the charger. "I'm going out to hook up with someone," she says, putting her phone in her pocket as she bites her finger, wanting a reaction from him. Keigo couldn't care less, though. Maybe if he continued treating you like this, you would leave him for good.

"Mmm, I’ll see you tomorrow, Mari. Don't wait up for me; I might sleep somewhere else." A casual comment was made casually, as if it were an every-day thing, which it was, but Keigo just waved you off, knowing you'd end up coming back. It wasn't the first time you cheated on him, and it wouldn't be the last. He then became even more involved in his phone, as if they had just shared a joke.

Like that, he barely paid attention to see if you actually left. He didn’t ask whom you were meeting or bother to even pretend to care. To him, every fight you two had was the same. You would argue and fight with him, leave, and eventually come back half drunk and your hair messy, apologizing that there would be no use trying to fix your hair cause he would just make it all messy again. With a casual grin, he leaned back, already humming some stupid, catchy song under his breath. You then stomp out of the kitchen to stand in front of him, crossing your arms and saying, "Ugh, shit I'm fucking tired of doing this shit with you." You grab his phone and break it, the shards percing your hands, but you let the big pieces fall to the ground.

His eyes widened, and for a moment, it seemed like time had stopped. Keigo didn’t know how to act or what to say. He spent more time on that phone than on you, after all. He even handled it with that same casual ease that he used when he was with supervillains, like it was the most precious object on the planet. "Wh-what the hell, Mari?!" He exclaimed, his cheeks flushing with what could’ve been anger, but it looked a bit more like frustrated confusion. He might have slammed his hands on the table if he had room, so instead, he leaned forward like he was ready to lunge to reclaim his broken device from your grasp.

"What the—was that really necessary?" He questioned, his semi-calm self returning, but there was that undercurrent of confusion still flustering him and making him so unlike himself. He wanted to curse you out or slap you across the face, but he held himself back. "Yeah, well, I tried to fucking talk to you, but no big shot. Keigo Mr.Ladys man doesn't want to talk to his girlfriend. Well, guess what fuck you and your fans? And since we were on the topic of your fans, how about you go fuck them since you're so in love with them?" You yell, enraged, at him. You didn't care that you were acting crazy, so you picked up one of the shards from his phone and put it around your neck. "Tell me you won't cheat on me or leave me." You looked crazy because you were crazy, but he's breaking your sanity every day. "Fine, I..." Keigo paused, glancing at your neck, as if unable to choose which of the two problems was more concerning to him at the moment.

But his attention was focused on the present situation. "All right. I won’t cheat on you," he lied to you and himself, 'or at least, you won’t know if I do.' is what he wanted to finish his sentence with but decided not to say it in case you actually do anything rash, but it was true; he didn't have plans to leave you. After all, you were, as he liked to think of you, his personal plaything, someone that was there for him when he needed a warm body to fuck, no questions asked. It was the complete opposite of what he received from his fans.

"And I... I’ll even pay more attention to you. You’re my girlfriend, after all. A couple should care about each other, right?" He smiled weakly, as if to mask his discomfort with a comforting façade, making eye contact with you to emphasize his words. But his mannerisms, so soft in this situation, were quite unnatural to him and came off as so falsely sweet. He wanted to end this coverage already, but if you kept going on, you wouldn't actually kill yourself, right?. "Be serious, or I really will kill myself." Y/N brings the shard closer to her neck, making Keigo's eyes widen, alarmed, realizing you were serious. "I’m serious! Just... drop the glass, please." He motioned with his hand, very gently, to try not to alarm you. You could see how much he was tearing himself apart inside, but he wanted to save this charade and your life. He needed you, even if this relationship was toxic from the start. He knew this love was complicated.

"You mean... everything to me, Mari," he lied, cupping your chin with his hand. He wanted to sink his nails into your skin and make sure it was bruised. But that one single, feather-light touch did nothing against the fury burning inside you like a raging fire. "I’ll try harder to pay more attention to you, I promise. Don't do something you'll regret. Please." His grip on your chin tightened ever so slightly, almost unconsciously, his eyes pleading with you not to cross that line, but he knows you will never actually do that. But it felt different this time. You've always threatened that you would leave him or kill yourself, but you never held a weapon to yourself. "Prove it, then prove to me you love me." You smirked at him, knowing exactly what you were doing.

"Well, even though you’re—" Keigo hesitated for a moment, trying to find the kindest words that would make this mess into a sweet lie. "Less... appealing, in the physical aspect, I enjoy being around you. You’re my rock. My social savior, if I put it in the way that would make the most sense to me, I just like to have you around, so if I do feel that way, I'll use you as I wish," he said, bluntly enough, brushing a piece of hair off your face.

"You're witty, cheerful, and entertaining. In simple words, you’re my perfect opposite, Mari. I need that. I need you." With these words, he slid away from the table, getting up and trying to narrow the gap between the two of you. How genuine it was—whether it came from his desperation to keep you or it was actually the truth—nobody could say for sure. Your smile then fades from your face, finally letting go of everything. "Oh, so I'm not sexy." You put the knife closer to your neck, not caring anymore. "I don't fit your sex appeal, huh? Yet when you need to satisfy your needs, you seek "a warm body to fuck on."" You laugh in his face.

"You aren't, though," Keigo admitted, his eyes searching your face for something—mercy, maybe. "I’m not a pervert, Mari. It's true. I don't find you sexually attractive. But the absence of lust isn't the absence of love." He leans closer, his intention clear. Keigo had decided to redirect your attention to a different kind of touch, hoping to smooth things over with his own unique approach. "I thought I could just look the other way and pretend I liked you, but I can’t. It's hard every single day. But do you know why I’m still here with you?" His hand moved to circle your neck softly, holding you in place. "Because I do. I love you, Mari." Keigo then hugs Y/N close, never wanting her to leave him. Y/N then whispers into his ear, "No, you don't." She pauses before pulling the shard away from her neck. "Loving you is complicated, and you never loved me enough." Y/N says before as she slits her throat, blood leaving your body quickly, making Keigo's eyes go wide as he pulled his face away and his hand flew to your now bleeding wound before he paused, paling as your body slumped to the ground, his eyes glazing over, until finally, a single tear rolled down his cheek.

He didn't think. He just moved, heaving you into his arms, trying to get you to stand up, drowning his face in your shirt, and trying to hold you up and stop the bleeding. The blood was cold against his touch. He was helpless. All this time he spent convincing himself he didn't care about you while ignoring all the warning signs. It was too late to try and undo the damage. He rocked you in his arms, making quiet, chirping noises of distress, until his phone began to buzz to life. It took him too long to realize he hadn't responded back to one of his fans. He thought of letting you go to read the text, but he disregarded it in favor of you. He sat down on the floor against the wall and stared silently out the window. He gripped your hand tighter in his, unwilling to let go even as your blood spilled on the floor, even covering his hand. It was then that he started sobbing; even as the police arrived, he didn't want this to be real. "Loving you is complicated."

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A/N: This story is based of a bot from janitor.ai. If you wanna talk to the bot yourself the name of the bot is Keigo Takami and it's by Yunosko. Also based off the song U by Kendric Lamar.

#hawks x reader #keigo x reader #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #mha #keigo takami #mha keigo takami #mha hawks #angst #female reader #fem reader

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justmywritingstuff · 5 months

Text

Speechless Changes~Number 6 (part 1)

Summary:

When you always have done whatever it takes to get your goals, it's very hard to change or surprise people--even harder to leave them speechless.

In other words, the six firsts of Shadybug and Claw Noir's relationship that left someone speechless.

AO3

Warnings: language, heavily implied abuse

Word Count: 13k+

Author's notes: Hello friends! Yes, I'm alive. I'm sorry for the delay, I messed up my wrist and shoulder in a car accident and the pain killers (and you know, my wrist) made it really hard to work on this series. This is a two part chapter, so the second part will come out soon. And this is the end of the series, there might be a sequel in the future, I haven't decided yet. This is a bit of a heavy chapter, so be prepared for that. As always, a line break means a change in POV, enjoy!

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It’s a good day for Marinette, one of the best she’s had in awhile.

She had aced a test in school, watched Chloe fall face first into a muddy puddle, Alya called her her best friend, and she’s currently beating the hell out of some girl in a magic ox costume with her lucky charm—it’s an umbrella—while Claw is trying to get her Miraculous. It’s a weird life, but sometimes it’s a damn good one.

The ox girl finally seems to fall back from the numerous hits, much to Shady’s displeasure—she was just starting to get into it.

Shady and Claw stand by her to make sure she stays down, Claw groans in annoyance and pulls out his staff to call someone.

She can’t help but ogle him as he does so, she loves this guy more than anything and he’s much more than a pretty face—but damn, she’s the first to admit he’s definitely a hot piece of ass, especially in the leather. She’s having a good day, but what would make it a fucking great day is the opportunity to drool over her attractive partner and get her daily dose of affection from those sinful lips of his.

The ox girl tries to get up, breaking Shady from her daydreaming. Shady sighs and hits her with the umbrella again, dazing her. Frankly, she’s amazed at how many hits to the head this girl can take and the fact that the umbrella hasn’t broken yet.

“Hello?” She hears Betterfly’s voice coming from Claw’s staff.

“Where the hell is this lady’s miraculous?” Claw asks, exasperated.

“What lady? Oh no, are you two fighting another holder?”

“Yeah, ox girl.”

“Ox? That’s one of the Supreme’s favorites! Are you two alright? I’ll send reinforcements right—”

“Hell no, we’ve already got it handled. Where’s the miraculous? This girl’s covered in fucking jewelry.”

“Oh um nose ring, I believe?”

“Great. Hang on, you’ll get it in a sec.”

Claw leans down to the semi-unconscious ox girl and grabs the nose ring, handing it over to Shady as the girl returns to normal. Shady puts it into her yo-yo to send it to Betterfly.

The girl groans loudly.

“What was that?” Betterfly asks accusingly from Claw’s staff.

“That’s the ox.” Claw says. “I told you, we got it.”

“…Shadybug used her Lucky Charm as a weapon again, didn’t she?”

Claw sends Shady a look. “Uh no?”

Betterfly sighs, and she can practically hear him rubbing his forehead tiredly. “We’ll talk about it later.”

Claw hangs up his staff and Shady sighs, knowing that tomorrow probably holds another long lecture about violence from Betterfly.

“Did you have to beat her with the fucking umbrella?” Claw says.

Shady shrugs and sends him a smirk. “She slapped your ass and made you uncomfortable. You would have done the same fucking thing if it was me instead.”

“…Fair point.”

She tosses her umbrella up in the air and does her miraculous cure. After all the usual things, damage is fixed, the girl thanks them for curing her disease but has a terrible headache, etc., Shady grabs Claw and leads him into a nearby tight alleyway to get them both away from any prying eyes as her miraculous beeps.

The alley is small, small enough that standing in it with backs to the walls would leave two people only a few feet apart. With how close the two of them choose to stand where they can feel the other’s breath on their face, though, it almost looks like the alley way is wide, but they just don’t understand personal space.

“You know Mothra’s gonna give you shit for today, cockroach.” Claw says with a smile as he plays with a loose strand of her hair.

“Yeah,” She answers, “but that’s tomorrow me’s problem.”

And she really believes that, she’s having a really good day today, so lectures and worrying about if solving problems with violence is becoming of a hero can be dealt with on another day.

“You’re in a good mood, Bug-a-babe.” Claw says teasingly. “I almost don’t recognize you without that pouty scowl on your face.”

She playfully punches him as her miraculous beeps again, signaling it’s final warning.

He grins and blinks like he’s realizing something.

“Something’s…different.” He says.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, fleabag.” She answers.

“Your suit.” He slowly brings his fingers down the side of her body and her breath catches. “I don’t know, it just looks…different somehow.”

“Oh? How?”

“Can’t put my finger on it, but it’s fucking distracting.”

She hums and leans in close, pressing her body against his as his gloved claws find their way to her hips.

“Distracting, huh?” She says. “Maybe I should just get the hell out of here then. Wouldn’t want to distract you from all your pretty boy shit.”

She starts to pull away, but his grip tightens on her hips before she can get far. It’s a dance they know, it’s usually done with a lot more punches and violence, but it’s a good day and she knows that he must be having a good day too to be so calm. On good days for both of them, neither of them feels the need to argue, it’s more playful and teasing.

“Oh no,” he says, “your spotted ass is stuck with me, cockroach.”

She blinks, taken aback at the familiar words she’s only heard him say once before.

~Flashback~

Swinging through the Parisian skyline wearing nothing but a bodysuit is not something she pictured herself doing, but feeling the rush of the wind in her face for the first time makes everything shitty about her life seem so trivial and forgetful…even the things that make her life hell seem so small in comparison.

Maybe that’s why the Supreme gave Marinette this Miraculous thing in the first place, he knew that once she got a taste of freedom from her shitty life she’d do anything to keep pushing—maybe that’s why he did a lot of things.

Marinette scowls to herself as she lands on a rooftop, what does she care what the Supreme does? He gave her power to do with as she pleases against some dumb butterfly guy, who is she to complain about such a great opportunity?

She flings her yo-yo at a weird pole to fling herself again. Why should she question any of this? So far, she hasn’t found any downsides to this whole superpowers thing.

Crash!

She crashes into something hard, getting dazed, and her yo-yo wraps itself around her and whatever it is. She groans and slowly opens her eyes to see a black mask attached to a not-unattractive face. She opens her mouth to scream at this guy in the mask as he groans and slowly opens his eyes, her mouth shuts as she’s meant with the most beautiful purple she’s ever seen.

He pulls his head back as soon as he sees her face, but she’s too mesmerized to really notice.

“What the…” The guy says. “Hey! Get me out of this fucking thing!”

The guy starts wiggling and Marinette realizes that their bodies are pressed together like something from a sex scene in a movie. She screeches as her cheeks heat up and quickly untangles them, her yo-yo bonking the masked guy in the head as they go onto a rooftop to have their feet on the ground.

As he rubs where the yo-yo hit him, Marinette finally gets a good look at him.

His hair is a weird green color, his eyes are a beautiful over-the-top purple, he’s covered in tasteful spikes and studs, there’s a bell around his neck for some reason, he’s wearing black lipstick, wearing perfectly form-fitting leather from head to toe, and has two cat ears on top of his somehow working-for-him mess of hair.

Hot damn are the only words that come to Marinette’s mind.

She chastises herself, she’s supposed to be wreaking chaos in the name of the Supreme, not ogling some eye candy who’s probably a huge asshole.

“That fucking hurt!” The attractive masked guy says. “What the hell is wrong with you, you psycho watermelon?”

And he’s got an attitude…hmm…maybe Marinette could spend a few minutes beating up the guy in skin-tight leather before she fucks up the butterfly guy. Not like she’s ever gonna see him again, how often would she get the chance to yell at a cat guy?

“I’m a fucking ladybug, asshole.” Marinette snaps back.

The guy rolls his pretty purple eyes. “You look more like a cockroach to me.”

“Yeah? Well, you look like a bag of fleas!”

“Hey!”

He grits his teeth and gets in her face.

“Cockroach!” He growls, pushing her.

“Fleabag!” She growls back, pushing him back.

“Bug breath!”

“Fuzz face!”

They snarl at each other, and she grabs him by the collar, preparing to threaten or punch him. His snarl falls as he sees a large purple butterfly coming towards them.

“What the fuck is that?” He says.

“That’s an akuma, you dumbass.” She says, still holding him by the collar. “It’s attracted to our anger.”

“Then stop being angry, dammit! We don’t need that fucking thing over here!”

Huh, so he’s not a complete dumbass.

They both take a deep breath to calm down and the akuma flies away.

Marinette is suddenly all too aware that she’s still holding him by his jacket and that their faces are close enough that she can feel his breath on her face. She tries really hard not to think about how good his cologne smells or look at his attention-grabbing lips as she quickly pushes his (totally not attractive) face away from her.

He clears his throat and picks her yo-yo off the roof, holding it out to her. “Here, your yo-yo thing.”

Wait, why would he do that? He didn’t need to do that, no one had ever helped her for no reason before…he’s got something more to him under all that attitude, it seems, something that is grabbing her attention.

Her heartbeat picks up a bit as her hand brushes his when she grabs her yo-yo.

Oh no, that needs to stop right there. It’s fine, probably nothing, it’s not like Marinette has to worry about seeing him again, she can completely forget about it and—

“You must be that partner the Supreme is forcing me to work with.” He says. “I’m the cat holder, name’s Claw Noir.”

Fuck. Great, attractive asshole is her stupid partner.

She crosses her arms then eyes him up and down, trying to figure out the kind of person he is. Everyone she’s ever met had always either been afraid of her or wanted her to be afraid of them. Her guess is the latter, if his attitude is any indication, which is going to be a huge fucking inconvenience.

“Damn, do you ever pay attention, cockroach?” Claw Noir says, breaking her from her thoughts. “I asked what I’m supposed to call you?”

“I’m…” She pauses, remembering the Supreme mentioned secret identities, and tries to think of a name for her new super powered persona. “Shady. Yeah, Shadybug.”

“Shadybug? I think cockroach suits you better.”

He eyes her for a moment and something familiar flashes in his eyes, something she recognizes.

She blinks, suddenly overly aware of the guy in front of her. She can see all of it in his eyes, he’s broken and fucked up just like she is (which isn’t surprising since the Supreme obviously went after a specific kind of person)…anger and violence are how people like them communicate. But, that’s not what’s holding her attention. No, what’s holding her attention is the fact that alongside all that anger and pain she can see in his eyes is also that he isn’t afraid of her and he doesn’t want her to be afraid of him. She had never met someone who didn’t interact with her using some kind of fear, it’s…intriguing.

Her heart beats a bit faster at the thought, but surely, it’s just from the adrenaline.

…Right?

Well, maybe it isn’t, but if it isn’t then there’s a problem, she can’t let herself fall for an asshole like him, especially if she’s stuck with him. Not when she finally has some power.

Claw Noir looks her up and down again then sighs tiredly. “Great, the Supreme stuck me with a bitchy partner, just great.”

Does he already hate her? What the fuck is his problem? He doesn’t even know her!

So, falling for him won’t be the problem, not killing him however…well, that might be difficult.

She scowls and sends him a deadly glare. She swings her yo-yo and hits him in the stomach with it.

“If I’m so bitchy,” She says, “then give me your Miraculous so I can get a partner that isn’t such a jackass.”

He glares back, not intimidated in the slightest but still not caring if she’s afraid of him. The nerve on him. He growls and extends his staff, swinging it at her, but she dodges before he manages to hit.

“Oh no,” He says, “your spotted ass is stuck with me, cockroach.”

As they start throwing punches at each other between yells and spreading chaos through the city, she decides that if she’s stuck with him and he hates her for no reason, then she swears she’ll always hate him harder than anyone else.

~End Flashback~

…That was the day they first met forever ago. The day she fell for the guy under all that pain and buried all her want under endless hate. They’ve come so far from that day, so many things have changed, but some things would always be the same. That was the day she fell for the heart under his pain, the day that under all the hate and anger her heart had become his and has always been since.

“What?” Claw says. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You just reminded me of something.” Shady says with a smile. “It’s been a pretty great day, fuzz face, and you’re just making it better.”

“Really? Oh, you’re in a REALLY good mood.” He practically purrs. “Well, Bug-a-babe, I can think of something that would make this day even better.”

He leans in close, their noses touching, his hands still on her hips pressing their bodies together.

“Hmm, and what would that be, fleabag?” She says, her hands moving up his chest teasingly.

Claw opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, her transformation wears off and she immediately pushes him away so she can catch Tikki.

“Hey, what about…” Claw starts but Shady completely ignores him. He sighs and pouts. “Plagg, daggers in.”

Claw detransforms and catches Plagg.

“Hey, Tikki.” Marinette says. “Do you want a cookie or a macron? I can go get you something else too if you want.”

“Cookie’s fine, Marinette.” Tikki says.

She nods and pulls a cookie from her purse at her side—chocolate chip with a hint of fudge, Tikki’s favorite that Marinette always makes sure she has—it’s the last one in her purse. She makes a mental note to make more later.

She looks up to see Adrien pulling a wedge of cheese from his pocket and giving it to Plagg. She snorts, getting Adrien’s attention.

“You’re still bribing Plagg with that gross cheese?” Marinette says.

“Hey!” Plagg says, taking a very large bite of the cheese. “Leave my delicious camembert alone!”

“Yeah, it just became habit.” Adrien sighs tiredly. “I know, I smell like stinky cheese, but he loves it. So, I figure why not? Least I could do after…”

He trails off solemnly unable to finish his sentence. She knows what he means, though, he didn’t have to say it for her to know he’s talking about the muzzles.

She had felt uneasy about the muzzle even when she was evil, it seemed so cruel and unnecessary, but the Supreme had insisted. It’s also one of the reasons she took such joy taking the Miraculous out of his shitty minions’ control, each Miraculous they retrieve is another Kwami freed and a big ‘fuck you’ to the Supreme. It’s one of those things that her and Adrien kept unspoken—another thing they’re ashamed to have done before the other universe.

Tikki sees Marinette frown at the thought and flies up to nuzzle her cheek. Marinette smiles at the action, Tikki understands things better than most.

“Hey, I don’t remember,” Adrien says, eyeing Tikki curiously. “How did you get Tikki to forgive you for uh…well you know?”

“You don’t remember because I never said.” Marinette answers as Tikki flies to her spot in her purse.

“Well, how did you? You two seem almost inseparable now.”

“I didn’t do anything…we just kind of…are.”

And she hadn’t. She didn’t do anything to get Tikki to forgive her. She knows Adrien pulled out all the stops for Plagg, buying him as much expensive cheese as he can eat, flattery, countless apologies, etc.. But, all of that felt hollow to Marinette—not that she had an issue with Adrien doing it, of course—bribery, flattery, countless apologies, those aren’t things Marinette is fully capable of and doing so just would have been hollow excuses. She knows what Tikki is like with other her, she knows what they could be, and something like that shouldn’t come out of the way Marinette had treated her—she knows she doesn’t deserve it and no bribe or flattery or apology could ever make up for it.

And yet, it had. Tikki and Marinette didn’t talk much because Marinette herself didn’t talk much in her parent’s house, but Tikki had been nothing but kind and caring to Marinette from the moment she took off her muzzle. Tikki took care of Marinette when Adrien couldn’t, and whenever Marinette asks her why, she always says ‘I understand feeling trapped and not being able to do something…what it can make you do. I forgave you long before the other universe, Marinette.’ Marinette can never bring herself to respond to that.

She shrugs and sends Adrien a look. “That probably sounds fucking ridiculous.”

Adrien smiles and pulls her closer once again, leaning his forehead against hers. “Nothing you say could ever sound ridiculous to me.”

She hums and closes her eyes, taking in everything that is her partner with a smile. On days like this, her life doesn’t seem so shitty. As long as he’s here with her, her day could only get better from here.

“Good day, Bug?” Adrien whispers.

“As long as you’re here, yeah.” She answers, opening her eyes to look into his.

Adrien smiles even wider and presses a gentle kiss to her nose, lingering much longer than he really needs to.

She sighs contentedly and her hands move up his chest. “You probably have to get back for a photoshoot or something, huh?”

“Hell no, screw that. It’s been a good day, I wanna be yours for the rest of the night.”

That sounds perfect to her, but that doesn’t mean she has to make it easy for him.

“Hmm…” She pauses like she’s considering it. “…tempting, but I don’t know, fur face.”

Adrien whines and moves his lips down to her neck, ghosting over the one spot he knows drives her crazy.

“Please?” He says. “I want your spotted ass with me for as long as possible.”

He squeezes her butt to enunciate his point and she can’t help the smile that spreads across her face. Cheeky little asshole.

“Fine,” She says, giving in. “Can we go back to your place, then?”

“Yes!” He answers, way more excited than usual.

“You two are disgusting.” Plagg suddenly says. “Do you have to be gross in front of us every time?”

“Plagg, leave them alone.” Tikki says.

Marinette sighs as the two Kwamis ruin the little dance they have going on, usually they stayed quiet when her and Adrien are doing their little argue-tease-flirt-kiss dance, but lately Plagg has been much more vocal with his ‘distaste’ for them being together (he actually is completely supportive of their situation but pretends to find them gross). It’s simultaneously a good thing and a bad thing that Marinette has some mixed feelings about. On the one hand, she’s happy that Plagg is finally comfortable with them both to tease them and speak up. On the other hand, though, it’s very awkward to make-out when there’s two tiny gods talking about you right fucking next to you.

She steps back from Adrien, disentangling them as she stretches.

“Alright, fleabag.” Marinette says. “Your place. Can we go through the door, or do we have to go through the fucking window again?”

Adrien smirks and cocks his head to the side, telling her without words the answer to her question.

“Dammit.” She says, sighing. “We literally just detransformed. Fine, okay. Who’s turn is it?”

His smirk seems to get wider, even more mischievous.

“Oh, you asshole.” She says with a glare. “Of course, it’s MY fucking turn.”

He winks at her and she rolls her eyes.

“What can I say, Bug-a-babe?” Adrien says. “Someone’s gotta carry the team.”

She narrows her eyes at him and scowls. “Ugh, do you have to make the same pun every fucking time I do this? Tikki,” She turns her attention to the Kwami in her purse, “are you okay for another transformation?”

“I’m ready to go, Marinette.” Tikki answers.

“Great. Tikki, blots on!”

Tikki is sucked into Marinette’s earrings and Marinette transforms back into Shadybug.

She bends down and picks up Adrien in a bridal carry, which as always, he enjoys way too much in her opinion. She grabs her yo-yo and flings it to the top of the buildings the alley is between, slinging herself onto the roof. She runs from rooftop to rooftop with Adrien in her arms until she finally makes her way back to the Agreste mansion, jumping through the window to Adrien’s room before the security cameras have a chance to pick her up.

Shady places Adrien on the ground and stretches, Plagg wastes no time and immediately flies to the little bed and cheese corner Adrien set up for him.

Adrien wipes imaginary dirt off his black jeans as he gets his footing back, the smile on his face almost too bright in the darkly decorated room. She doesn’t know why he likes to be carried so much, but his expression afterwards is always super cute and it’s an excuse to have him in her arms, so she’s okay with it.

Her eyes fall on a full-body mirror that’s on his wall that wasn’t here last time she was in his room—well, maybe it was, every time she’s snuck into his room with him, they’re either completely focused on each other or they play video games on his couch, so maybe she hadn’t noticed it before.

She notices her reflection in the mirror and there’s all these new details in her suit that she’s sure weren’t there before, small and barely noticeable, but new details all the same. Adrien was right, she looks different, if she had been anyone else she never would have noticed. There’s more black around her gloves and ankles, there’s a small cluster of spots on her chest that look out of place, and her hair just seems slightly shorter. It’s hardly different from what it changed to after the other universe, but different all the same.

Adrien steps over behind Shady and wraps his arms around her waist. He nestles his chin into her shoulder and follows her gaze.

“See, cockroach?” He says. “I don’t know, somehow you just look…you don’t look so much like her anymore.”

Her as in Ladybug, as in her from the other universe. When they left the other universe, all she wanted then was to be more like her, she wanted her life, her friends, her world…her parents. Until she looked in the mirror, she hadn’t realized that she hadn’t wanted to be her in a long time—she still thought of her from time to time, wondering how Ladybug is doing or if she would be proud of who she’s become, but at some point she had stopped wanting to be her all together. She doesn’t know what the hell that means, but she likes to think that’s maybe a good thing.

Even Adrien noticed how different it is, despite how little differences there really are. Once again, she finds another reason to love this dumbass for everything he is in and out of the mask. But, as nice as it is that he noticed, that’s a conversation for maybe another day. As good of a day as this is, she doesn’t want to push it in case talking about the other universe brings up some heavy things for him.

She leans her head against Adrien’s, a small smile on her lips. “What, fleabag? Afraid I’m gonna put your pretty model ass out of work?”

He pinches her side with a grin as he detangles from her hips and she yelps in surprise. She curses the day he found out she’s ticklish, the asshole takes way too much advantage of it.

“Aw, you think I’m pretty, cockroach?” He teases. “How embarrassing.”

“Your cheeky ass is literally a model, Fur face.” Shady says with a roll of her eyes.

“Really obsessed with my ass today, huh Bug?”

She tries to scowl at him but can’t help the smile that spreads across her face. He leans in close with a knowing grin and raises his eyebrows at her. She chuckles slightly and immediately shoves his face away as he starts to laugh.

“You’re such a dumbass.” She chastises.

“Yes, but I’m your dumbass.” He dramatically blows her a kiss then starts looking around his room. “Now where did that bag go…I’m fucking starving, and that croissant is calling my name.”

She shakes her head and looks around the room, her eyes falling on a pastry bag she gave him yesterday by the end of his bed. Adrien sees it the same moment she does and makes a beeline for it. She smirks and grabs the bag before he can.

“Hey!” He says with a pout. “I fucking called that!”

She takes the croissant out of the bag and takes a big bite in front of him.

“Not my fault you’re slow without the suit, fleabag.” She says playfully.

“What?” He answers, offended. “I am not!”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

“No way, I’m not slow.”

“Please, I could take you down easily, pretty boy.”

“The suit makes you faster and stronger!”

“Even if I didn’t use the enhancedness. You need to work on your punches.”

“Fine.”

Adrien stands up and gets in a ready position.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“You said I need to work on my punches, so I’m showing you that I don’t.”

“Oh?” She puts the rest of the croissant back in the bag and places it back on the ground. “You wanna spar?”

“Hell yeah. Take me on without using the enhancedness like you said, I bet I knock you on your spotted ass.”

“I bet you I knock you on your ass in your own bed.”

Adrien throws a punch and Shady blocks it. She throws one of her own and he blocks it too, they fall into a comfortable rhythm of both of them throwing punches or kicks—none of them really landing, even without using the enhancedness on her end, she has to admit that Adrien can hold his own against her.

She ducks and kicks her leg into his foot, knocking him off balance as she comes back up. She punches his chest and he falls backwards onto his bed. Shady jumps on his bed and pins him with her body before he has the chance to recover.

“Told you.” She says cockily.

She grins at Adrien lying beneath her, both of them breathing heavily. She notices his eyes are blown wide with lust as they dart from her lips to her eyes, the tension between them from the day feeling heavy in the atmosphere. His hands slowly move their way up her thighs, giving them a gentle squeeze to give her an idea of what he’s thinking.

She raises an eyebrow and drops her voice to a whisper. “Thought you were hungry, Cat?”

“Oh, I’m hungry alright.” He says, his voice an octave lower.

She isn’t sure who leans forward first, but their lips crash together like they need each other’s breath to survive.

She can never get enough of him, his entire being is a drug and she’s addicted. From the way he kisses her breathless to the way he moves his body into hers in moments like these, every bit of it feels like he’s made for her, like no one else would ever be able to make her lose control like he does.

She presses herself into him and moves her hands up his t-shirt covered chest.

Adrien grabs Shady’s hips as she presses into him while straddling his hips, their lips on each other’s in a way that she knows sets them both on fire. He moves his hand down to her butt and gives it a squeeze. She moans slightly and he takes the opportunity to put his tongue into her mouth. She accepts it easily against her own as she starts to pulse slightly against him, wanting to feel a little friction.

He sits up a bit without breaking the kiss, his hands still holding her butt and hips as she sits in his lap pulsing against him—starting to rub against her himself. The new position makes it easier to feel every detail of his body against her.

She wants him right now, and badly. And from the part of him she can feel against her suit pressing into her in a perfectly sinful way, she can tell he wants her too. If he keeps going like this, she’ll come undone before she even gets the suit off. They had both agreed a long time ago that the physical part of their relationship is fine in the super suits, but the full physical part should be without the suits…it seems unfair to Plagg and Tikki that they have to be apart of it.

She pulls back from the kiss, intending to detransform, but Adrien moves his mouth down to her neck and sucks on the one spot that makes her completely lose control. She moans loudly and moves her neck more to the side to give him better access, her hips grinding against his clothed sex. Her hands find their way into his hair and she gives it a little pull, just the way she knows he can’t get enough of.

While he continues his work on her neck she opens her eyes slightly, planning to recapture his lips in hers after she says the detransformation words, but she notices the clock by his bed and her stomach drops as she remembers something.

She pulls away from him a little.

“Shit!” Shady says. “Is that the time? Shit, shit, shit!”

She pushes him back and his back hits the bed with an ‘oomf’ as she pries herself off of him, falling off the bed in doing so.

“What?” Adrien says.

“I have to go!” She answers, trying to scramble to her feet.

“Go where?”

“I forgot I was supposed to clean up the bakery, if I get there quick enough, maybe no one will notice. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

“But—”

She leans forward and grabs his face, kissing him on the lips and trying to convey every bit of want and longing she would have for him when she left. She pulls away suddenly, and he whines at the loss of contact.

“I’ll see you later, fleabag!” She says, already ready to jump out his window. “Love you, bye!”

Before he can respond, she swings her yo-yo out his window and flings herself across the Parisian skyline. She hates leaving him like this, but she’ll make it up to him later.

She quickly swings her way back to her parent’s bakery as fast as she can, praying to whatever divine beings there might be that she’ll be lucky enough to get there after everyone has fallen asleep so no one would notice she hadn’t cleaned up the bakery yet. It was a good day today, maybe she’ll catch a lucky break for once. She jumps through her trap door and lands softly on her bed as quietly as possible.

“Tikki, blots off.” She whispers.

She detransforms and Tikki falls into her hands. She needs to get down to the bakery without anyone knowing, clean it up, and get back up to her room without anyone knowing she didn’t do so sooner. But first, before anything else, Tikki needs to eat something. She looks around her room for food and sees the bag of cookies she keeps hidden peeking out from a drawer across the room.

She takes a deep breath and carefully gets down from her bed, tiptoeing quietly across the floor. The floorboard beneath her creaks and she curses to herself, hoping no one else in the apartment heard it.

“Marinette!” She hears her mother yell in Mandarin followed by stomping up the ladder that leads to her room and her stomach drops into her toes.

“Hide, Tikki.” Marinette says as she runs across the floor to put her in the drawer with the cookies.

“But Marinette—” Tikki says.

“Don’t come out. I’ll be okay.”

Marinette hears the latch to her bedroom being opened and takes in a shallow breath.

Suddenly, all at once, Marinette knows all too well that today isn’t going to be a good day anymore.

—

Adrien hasn’t seen Marinette for almost three days and it’s driving him insane.

Did he do something? Was she mad at him? He can’t think of a single thing he could have done to upset her, especially not with what a good mood she was in the other day in his room.

It’s probably nothing, but ever since the other universe they had never gone this long without seeing or talking to each other. Well, they had ‘talked’ a few times he supposes—but her sending one word replies hours after he messages her or leaving him on read doesn’t really count, it made him worried about her. And to top it off, his schedule has been packed with lessons or photoshoots and the Supreme hasn’t sent out another holder since their fight with the ox girl, so he didn’t have any opportunity to sneak away to her these past few days.

Which is why when she agreed to meet up with him this afternoon by that secret garden they had found awhile back he left right away to enjoy every minute he could with his Bug—completely skipping one of his lessons and ditching a photoshoot in the process. This little garden is hidden away from everyone behind an alleyway most people ignore, they had stumbled on it a bit back and it became their personal hangout place whenever they needed somewhere to go outside their suits. It’s a place where no one would bother them or annoy the hell out of him because he’s a model.

He needs to see her, he needs to know he had no reason to worry, so he’s been waiting for awhile—over an hour earlier than when she said she’d be here, but she doesn’t need to know that when she gets here.

“Cat?” He hears his favorite voice in the world call from the alleyway entrance.

He smiles and stands up from the bench he’s sitting on, anxiously looking at the sweets bag he brought for her beside him. Should he hold it? Just leave it there? He was trying to do something for her to show he was thinking about her in their time apart, he even did his makeup the way she said she likes best on him and threw on the black shirt she made for him, but now the sweets maybe feel like too much.

“Hey, Bug-a-babe.” He says looking in the direction the voice came from. “Did you miss…”

He trails off as he sees her for the first time in three days, whatever remark he’s about to say falling dead in his throat. And not because he’s stunned by her beauty, no, because something is very VERY wrong.

She’s wearing an oversized sweater on a hot day, she’s walking with a slight limp, her bangs are covering one of her eyes, and the usual light of her smile is just not there. He’s seen her like this a few times before and every time he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong about this, that it’s strange that when she’s like this there’s much more venom or malice in her voice than usual.

He meets her halfway on her way to the bench, engulfing her in a gentle but firm hug. She’s surprised for a second but quickly melts into his arms like she needs it.

“You miss me or something, pretty boy?” She says teasingly, but he can hear the relief in her voice.

“Always, Bug.” He answers, inhaling her scent. He pulls back and brings his hands down to hers as he turns. “Come on, let’s sit so we can—”

He freezes as he suddenly registers the feeling of her hand in his, instead of the usual warmth of her skin against his, there’s something scratchy like cloth. He turns back around and pulls her hand up to his eyes, slowly moving her sleeve back to reveal a bandage around her hand, wrist, and trailing up her forearm.

“Marinette,” He says, voice laced with concern as his eyes stay only on the bandage in front of him. “What is—”

“I just fell onto some glass.” She answers, quickly pulling her hand away. “It’s nothing, fleabag, I’m fine.”

“But I also saw you limping.” He says, eyes still focused on her hand at her side.

“Yeah, I fell pretty badly. You know how clumsy I can be, nothing too serious.”

She could be pretty clumsy outside the suit sometimes, he couldn’t count how many times she’d stubbed her toe on his bed frame or had bruises in weird places. But he’s never seen her hurt bad enough to need a bandage or anything out of the suit before…he doesn’t like it.

He kneels down and sweeps her up into his arms, carrying her bridal style.

“Hey!” She shrieks. “Put me down, asshole!”

“You sure as hell shouldn’t be walking on a hurt foot, cockroach.” He answers stubbornly, walking her toward the bench.

“I told you, I’m fucking fine.”

He places her down on the bench and sits next to her, pulling her legs into his lap so he can get a better look at her foot. He grabs the bag beside him and passes it to Marinette.

“Here,” He says, “I got you some sweets, you can eat them while I look at your foot.”

She sends him a glare as she opens the bag. It quickly turns to a slight smile when she sees all the sweets he got her inside. Technically, the bag is a bribe now to let him give her a once-over, but he cheers silently in his head that she doesn’t think the sweets are too much—not that she likely would anyway, Marinette has the biggest sweet tooth he’s ever seen.

She pops one of the chocolate candies into her mouth and he smiles a bit at the sight. He turns his attention back to her feet in his lap and gently pulls off her shoe to take a look at her injured foot.

Luckily, Marinette doesn’t fight him on it, she’s one of the most stubborn people he’s ever met but when it came to one of them being hurt whoever it was is always immediately out-stubborned by the other—in this case, him.

He checks her foot left to right as Marinette eats some more of the sweets, her foot is swollen but ultimately okay. He sighs and looks at her face, which is still on the bag of sweets.

“If you hurt your fucking foot,” He says sternly, “then you should be resting, cockroach. I would have come to you. You didn’t have too—”

“I know, I know.” She says, putting the bag to the side as she starts nervously fiddling with her fingers. “I just…I just really needed to see you.”

There’s something in her voice, something almost pained that makes him look at her like there’s a puzzle he can’t see etched into her features. She got like this sometimes, distant and broken and scared of something, even back before the other universe there had been days where he could tell something was really wrong—it happens sometimes out of the blue on a random day—but he’s never been able to pinpoint why.

He blinks, suddenly realizing this is the first time he’s really looked at her face since she got here. Looking at her fidget and trying to not seem as unnerved as she is, he can’t help but notice that she’s wearing much more eye makeup than usual. Thinking about it, she’s always been meticulous about her makeup but hates whenever someone brings it up, it’s like she always tries to change the topic. It’s almost like she’s trying to…his stomach drops as a terrible thought suddenly pops up in his head, one that’s never once crossed his mind before.

He takes in a deep breath, hoping to hell he’s wrong.

“I don’t wear the makeup anymore.” He says.

“What?” She asks, meeting his eyes.

“To cover up the disease from overusing our powers, I mean. I still wear eyeshadow and eyeliner, but I don’t wear the makeup anymore.”

She blinks at him, confused, and eyes him questioningly as she takes her legs off his lap. After a long pause, she finally responds, “…I noticed.”

“But you do.” He says, trying to tread carefully with what he’s trying to say.

“So?”

“At first, I thought it was maybe just habit or that you just felt more comfortable wearing it, but that’s not it, that’s not why you wear it. If it was out of habit, you wouldn’t be so meticulous about it and if you felt more comfortable wearing it, then you wouldn’t try to hide it whenever someone brings it up.”

Marinette says nothing and looks away from him, her shoulders suddenly tensing.

“Even back when I just watched you from my car window before everything, I wondered why.” He continues as he takes her hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. “I was always wondering why the hell someone so beautiful with and without makeup cared so much about hiding her face sometimes.”

Marinette looks at him nervously, a look in her eyes that pulls at Adrien’s heart strings, but she doesn’t try to get him to stop talking. She’s letting him continue to talk about the one thing she never let him speak about before, the one thing he knows she never let anyone talk about…not even herself.

“After everything that happened,” He continues, “we started spending more time together…I started noticing some things I didn’t see before.”

He swallows hard as she looks away, avoiding his eyes. He hates this, he hates that he has to bring this thing up that could cause her pain. He hates that he’s noticed all of these things that are starting to add up if his thought is right.

“How quickly your demeanor changes when you’re working in the bakery alone, how calmer you are.” He lists. “How you sometimes wear a bunch of layers even with the heat outside, and how angry you get whenever someone mentions you should take them off. How you always want to spend more time with me after and before school, how you always want to stay out just a bit longer and you just don’t want to go home yet.”

Before he had never really thought much of those things, he would ignore them as just habits she has or just wanting to spend more time with him—which maybe is also the case, but…

“How sometimes you flinch when I ask about things outside of school and our time together.” He continues. “How quickly you get quiet and change the topic when I bring up your house. How you never want me at your place when your parents are there.”

Adrien pauses and leans closer to Marinette, gingerly putting his thumb under her chin to bring her eyes to his.

“How…” He hesitates, trying to find the right words. “…How you have the most beautiful eyes in the world that I could get lost in, but you always seem to look away when I look too long like you’re worried.”

He pauses again and gently uses his fingers to push her bangs away from her eye, the makeup on it thick and dark but at closer inspection, likely not makeup at all.

“…And how you hide behind your hair often but even more after you came home late the night before or made a mistake in the bakery.”

Marinette leans into his touch, tears forming in her eyes. She rips her gaze from his as her lip starts quivering.

He knows how much she hates crying, he knows she doesn’t want him of all people to see her cry, the fact that she’s this close to doing so means this is something really serious and terrible. Which doesn’t give him hope that he’s wrong about what’s happened, and damn does he really hope he’s wrong.

Adrien gently places his hands on both of her cheeks, rubbing comforting circles into them with his thumbs as he brings her gaze back to look at him. A tear falls down her cheek and he wipes it away.

“Marinette,” He says with hundreds of emotions dripping into his voice. “You are my partner, my best friend, my everything more and inbetween. I would never do anything to hurt you or force you to tell me anything, I never want to be the reason you’re in pain. So, you don’t have to answer me, you don’t have to say anything. But I…fuck…I need to ask. It’s…it’s your parents, isn’t it?”

Marinette closes her eyes and takes in a shallow breath, her tears falling freely to confirm his suspicions.

Adrien kisses her sweetly and pulls her into a hug as she starts to cry with everything in her. He pets her hair, and she holds him like he might slip away, like he’s the thing grounding her to earth.

As she sobs into his shirt, he feels his own tears form in his eyes—whether tears of anger or hatred or sadness, he isn’t sure. On the one hand, he feels heartbroken that his partner, his friend, his love—the one person that makes this shitty world feel like it isn’t so shitty—has been living with something so terrible for who knows how long. On the other hand, he feels like he could burn the whole world to the ground for the mere idea that anyone fucking dared to hurt HIS Marinette like this. He shoves both of those feelings down for the moment, his only focus has to be on Marinette.

“I’m here.” He says trying to comfort her with the only words he knows he can. “Stay with me. Breathe.”

Her hands clutch his shirt like a lifeline and he holds her firmly in his embrace to show he means it, that he’s here with her and would never turn away.

“I’m here.” He says. “I promise I’m here.”

The more he learns about this girl, the more he understands her, so many parts of her start to make more sense. The anger, the willing to do anything, the tears when the wish didn’t work in the other universe…the reason she is who she is and was suddenly became much clearer to him. And it makes him love her more than he already did, which he didn’t think was possible. He knows he will always do anything for her, he’s hers in every sense of the word, and no way is anyone ever laying a damn finger on her ever again if he has anything to say about it.

Her crying doesn’t stop but her sobs become less frantic. He squeezes her tightly and grits his teeth, anger and rage still bubbling inside him at the thought of Marinette’s parents even thinking about…

“You are not going back there.” He says, barely managing to say it without transforming and running off to wipe the Dupain-Chengs off the face of the fucking planet. He isn’t sure if he’s telling it to her or to himself, either way, he knows he’ll never let her go back to that wretched place again, not without him by her side.

“I…” Marinette says into his shirt. “…I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

“Yes, you do.” He says, pulling her back slightly to look her in the eyes. “You have me, you’ll always have me.”

“But—”

“No, no buts. Today, tomorrow, fifty fucking years from now, you have me. You’re not going back there.” He leans his forehead against hers, their noses touching, and takes her cheeks in his hands. “I won’t let them hurt you ever again. You can stay with me, at the Resistance, or we’ll find you a place, but that damn hell hole is not home for you. You are my home, Marinette, if you’ll have me and want me to be, I can be yours.”

She sniffles and lunges forward, wrapping her arms around him as she reburies her face into his shirt. He can feel her shaking and start crying all over again, there’s only one thing he can think might help.

“Plagg, daggers out.” He says and transforms, wrapping his arms around her to hold her.

The moment his clothes turn into his super-suit, his breathing immediately turns to a purr that rumbles from deep in his chest. He finds the purring a little embarrassing sometimes, but it always seems to calm Marinette down when they argue or deal with a rough fight. She told him once that something about hearing it brings her feet back to the ground and reminds her that he’s there. He hopes that’s also true for when she’s broken like this…he doesn’t think there’s something he can say for something like this, but he needs her to know he’s here with her.

Remarkably, his purring seems to calm her down. They sit in silence as she catches her breath and slowly seems to recover, he doesn’t dare move but she nuzzles into his chest making him purr louder—she can tease him all she wants about it, he doesn’t care as long as it helps her.

He tries to keep his anger in check as he waits for her to be okay again. He wants to be what Marinette needs right now, someone to hold her and comfort her, but it feels so fucking hard as it hits him that this is the first time she’s had someone to comfort her about this. He’s the person who’s there for her for something like this and he also hasn’t been by her side in days.

Three days. He hasn’t seen her in three fucking days. Who knows what she was dealing with in that time? She could have ended up in the hospital or worse because of those damn monsters she calls parents. If he had been there than she wouldn’t…he shoves those thoughts out of his mind, all that matters is that both of them are here now and he won’t let it happen again—those thoughts can be saved for later when he raises hell and makes them pay, they have no place in his head while Marinette is falling apart in his arms.

“You must think I’m so weak.” Marinette whispers.

He kisses the top of her head. “Never. You’re the strongest most amazing fucking person I’ve ever met.”

She sniffles and hums, moving her head up to rest against his leather-clad shoulder. Although she still looks like she’s breaking apart inside, at least she isn’t crying as much. She fiddles with the bell around his neck—the bell that feels like it’s meant to be hers—as he continues purring, the soft calming jingle barely loud enough to hear.

“I lied to you...I never wanted to lie to you. But I…” She says, almost fighting fresh tears.

“I don’t care about that, Marinette, I care about you.”

“…I’m sorry.”

He pulls her into his lap and rests his chin on her head. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Bug. You’ll never have to be sorry for any of this.”

She sighs and curls into him as they fall into silence again.

He isn’t sure how much time passes as they sit there like that, it feels like days but he knows it’s probably only a few minutes. He wishes they could sit there like that for days as if the rest of the world isn’t as shitty as it really is, but the world keeps spinning and that means they keep moving.

“What do we do now?” She whispers in a voice that almost breaks his heart.

“Now, I take you home and we worry about the rest later.”

“Home? As in—”

“Yeah, as in my place.”

“But what about your father?”

“He can fucking deal with it. I don’t care what he thinks.”

“…Okay.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Marinette isn’t normal, she knows and understands that. She’s never been normal. She’s always keeping secrets, holds her emotions close to her chest, and hides behind her mask as Shadybug to understand what she’s really feeling. So, when the biggest most terrible secret she holds close to her bruised and battered chest is finally discovered by Adrien…she doesn’t know what to do.

As soon as she stops crying, she does the only logical thing her brain can think of: she convinces herself that this is all a stupid nightmare.

Even as Adrien detransforms in the street by his house and leads her through the gated entrance to his front door (which is notably the first time she’s even seen this side of the house—she usually only goes in through his window), she still can’t believe she could have been so careless as to actually let Adrien see her so weak.

Even harder to believe that Adrien would let her come into his house with complete disregard to his father—that in itself is enough to make Marinette think she’s dreaming.

“There you are, Adrien.” His father says as he comes down the steps by the front door they enter through. “I was worried when you missed your lesson and photo shoot this afternoon. You know better than to…who is this?”

“This is Marinette.” Adrien answers assertively. “She’s my…she’s um…”

His father looks her up and down, scrutinizing her suspiciously. It makes Marinette’s skin crawl that this man who makes Adrien’s life so difficult would dare to judge her, so she returns his look with a threatening glare.

“Is she the reason you missed a lesson and the photo shoot?” His father asks, his eyes on Marinette turning angry and staying only on her.

Adrien grits his teeth, clearly annoyed at his father’s tone towards Marinette. “She’s staying here with us for awhile.”

“Absolutely not.”

“I’m not asking.”

“…Adrien, you can’t—”

“She’s. Staying.” Adrien growls, his protectiveness that comes out when he’s Claw seeping into his voice like a threat—she’s surprised to hear it directed at his father, Adrien had always mentioned to Marinette that he couldn’t find it in him to stand up to his father most of the time.

“Adrien,” Marinette whispers, “it’s okay, you don’t have to—”

“Adrien,” His father says sternly, regaining his attention. “Can I speak to you privately?”

“No.” Adrien answers. “If you have something to say, you can say it to both of us. I’m not leaving her until she’s set.”

“Fine. You can’t just let some random girl stay in our home.”

“She’s not some random—”

“Clearly, she’s also probably the reason you missed a lesson and a photoshoot—and if I had to guess, it’s likely not the first time she caused you to do so.”

“That’s not—”

“Her hand is wrapped in a bandage and that’s probably a black eye hiding under her makeup, isn’t it? So, she’s been fighting too if I had to guess.”

“You don’t know what—”

“She clearly isn’t a good influence and very obviously spells trouble. I won’t let you bring yourself down with someone like this, you have so much potential to be someone great, Adrien. I won’t let you throw everything away by aligning yourself with a girl like her, you’re better than that.”

Adrien grits his teeth and turns himself and Marinette around, walking away from his father. “She’s. Staying.”

“I won’t allow it.” His father says from behind them. “I’m disappointed in you, Adrien.”

At that, Marinette freezes in her tracks.

Adrien is trying to be better, he’s trying to protect her and keep her safe in this dream—anyone who knows him should be proud of him. But his damn father is talking down to him like he’s some kind of monster for doing this one thing. Where the hell is the justice in that? If anyone is a monster, Marinette thinks it would be her…that’s how her parents treat her, her own mother has screamed at her numerous times that she’s a clumsy freak who’s wasting space. How could anyone treat her favorite person in the world like that? She couldn’t stand for that.

Marinette clenches her fist and whips around to his father. If this is a dream, then she might as well start swinging. She knows this won’t end well even if it is a dream, too late to stop now, her mouth is already moving with venom before she can consider this as a bad idea.

“Hey, fuck-head!” She yells at his father, stomping toward him as quickly as she can with an injured foot. “Your son is a fucking masterpiece work of art who’s doing his best and you’re an asshole for ignoring him. Stop being a fucking dickhead! He’s the most incredible person I know and I’ll be damned if I let anyone tell me to stay away from him. You can have a problem with me all you want, but don’t you fucking dare try to make him feel bad about himself because of it you piece of shit!”

Adrien and his father gape at her, speechless and stunned in place, and it suddenly dawns on her the very high likelihood that this actually isn’t a dream…and she just yelled at Gabriel Agreste and insulted him…repeatedly.

She shrinks into herself, feeling the need to beat herself up at the sudden realization of what she had just done. That’s exactly what she always imagined saying to Adrien’s father whenever Adrien told her about his issues with him…she never thought she would ACTUALLY say that to him the first time they met.

After a moment that seems to feel like an eternity, his father clears his throat and scrutinizes her.

“You care about my son?” His father says.

Marinette looks to her feet and nods, feeling like the world is going to cave in on her.

“Adrien,” his father continues, “why does she need a place to stay?”

Adrien joins Marinette’s side and puts a protective arm around her, an underlying threat in his voice as Marinette feels his eyes on her. “I won’t let her go back to that damned place she calls home. I won’t and I can’t, she deserves somewhere safe, and that’s here by me.”

His father hums thoughtfully and Marinette meets his eyes.

The distrust and judgement in his eyes that previously set her on edge is completely gone, in it’s place is a kind of…realization Marinette can’t place—but the malice behind it, seems like it’s gone, and Marinette doesn’t know how to feel about that.

“Marinette, was it?” His father says.

Marinette nods in affirmation, taking in a breath to prepare herself for what’s about to come.

“We have a guest room you’re welcome to stay in for as long as you like.” His father continues. “I’ll get you set and don’t be afraid to ask for anything you need. Adrien, while I get her comfortable in the guest room, go ask the chef to make something for her, she’s probably hungry.”

“W-what?” Adrien asks, dumbfounded.

“Adrien, go get her something to eat.” His father insists. “I’ll help her to the guest room, we want her to be comfortable here.”

Adrien tightens his grip on Marinette protectively.

His father eyes them and sends them a gentle smile—Marinette can see why it annoys Adrien so much with everything he’s said about his mom, his smile seems so nice and genuine and so…wrong.

“It’s okay, Adrien.” His father continues. “I promise we’ll take care of her, she’ll be alright.”

Marinette isn’t sure how it happens, but next thing she knows Adrien is running to the kitchen and Gabriel Agreste is directing her into an elegantly decorated empty bedroom.

She awkwardly sits on the edge of the bed as Mr. Agreste stands by the door. For a moment she’s terrified he’s going to shut it and raise hell against her for what she said or worse if he closes the door and reacts like her parents would…the thought of something like that happening to her so close to Adrien is the most terrifying idea she may ever have.

Thankfully, Mr. Agreste leaves his place at the door and kneels to the floor in front of her, so she calms down slightly—only slightly, as Gabriel Agreste is now mere inches from her face and she literally just insulted him to his face…repeatedly.

“I’m sorry for being so abrasive, Miss Marinette.” Mr. Agreste says. “I worry about my son and many people try to take advantage of him…I was worried you might be doing the same since he’s a model, wealthy, and famous.”

His father is nicer than Marinette pictured, which sets Marinette’s teeth on end knowing how much Adrien goes through because of him. She might not be in a great place right now with what Adrien now knows about her, but she’ll be damned if she lets Gabriel Agreste not be read for the filth he is—even if he is a little nice and even if she would deal with terrible consequences. She’s already insulted him, she probably can’t make it worse at this point, right?

“I would never hurt Adrien, I don’t fucking care about any of that.” Marinette says almost threateningly. “Maybe if you weren’t such an asshole, you’d know that he fucking despises anyone who would care about that shit.”

Fuck. Why did she say that? Now he’ll know that she meant every word, she could’ve backtracked or made up some excuse, but no she has to run her big mouth. Apparently, yes, she probably can make it worse.

“I’ll let that one slide given the circumstances.” Mr. Agreste says. “You’ve got some bite to you, I respect that. But what I respect most is your concern for my son, he’s never introduced me to one of his…” He pauses like he’ s carefully choosing the word. “…friends before. I trust his judgement, if he thinks you need to stay here then you’re more than welcome to stay as long as you wish. But…”

Marinette blinks, not sure if this isn’t her imagination playing tricks on her. “But?”

Mr. Agreste shifts his weight uncomfortably, trying to avoid her gaze. “But…your black eye?”

Her hands clench into fists at the sudden reminder of what got her into this situation in the first place and the painful memory that goes along with it.

“What about it?” She answers with venom dripping into her voice.

She knows Mr. Agreste didn’t mean anything by it, but she knows he was entering dangerous territory and felt the need to warn him to not tread further—the only person she would even consider in that aspect is Adrien.

“I won’t pry.” He answers calmly. “But with the way Adrien is protective of you and you needing a place to stay…I have a feeling I was wrong about how you received it and if that’s the case…well, I’m sorry for assuming and hope I can help. Stay in my house as long as you need, I won’t send you back to a place that’s bringing you pain.”

There’s a quiet knock at the open door and they both look up to see Adrien holding a tray with some food on it.

“Nette?” Adrien says, eyeing his father suspiciously as he walks into the room. “Are you okay? Did he fucking—”

“I’m fine, Adrien.” Marinette quickly answers. “We were just…talking.”

“Yes,” Mr. Agreste says as he stands, “I was just getting to know our new house guest a bit better.”

Adrien sends his father a suspicious glare and places the food tray on the bed by Marinette. He opens his mouth to say something, but his father speaks before he can.

“We should give her some space, Adrien.” Mr. Agreste says. “It’s probably been a long day, we should leave her alone to eat and get some rest.”

“But—”

“Adrien…” Mr. Agreste says more sternly.

Marinette reaches for Adrien’s hand, gaining his attention, and gives it a gentle squeeze.

“Adrien,” Marinette says, “it’s okay, I’ll be okay.”

“Are you sure? Because I can—”

“Go on, Adrien, I’ll be alright. I have my phone and my purse.”

She emphasizes her last word, hoping that Adrien understands her double meaning. She knows he doesn’t want her to be alone, but his father won’t let him stay, so she’s trying her best to convey that she won’t be alone—Tikki is waiting in her purse.

Adrien nods in understanding and a moment of silent communication passes between them that Marinette knows means they’ll be seeing each other later.

“Okay,” Adrien says, his eyes never leaving hers. “But call me immediately if you need anything.”

“I will.”

Mr. Agreste escorts Adrien out of the room and he watches her as they leave, worry clear on his face. Marinette hates that he might think she’s weak, but a part of her is actually relieved that he cares so much.

Adrien closes the door behind them and Marinette releases the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding in.

Tikki flies out from Marinette’s purse once they’re alone, floating inches from her face.

“You should eat and rest, Marinette.” Tikki says.

“I’m fine, Tikki.”

“No, you’re not. You haven’t been fine since long before I came into your life…long before the other universe.”

“I’m not weak Tikki.”

“No, you’re not weak, you’re strong and smart and capable and much more. But, you’re not okay.”

“But I—”

“Marinette, you’re in shock. Please, let Adrien help you with this.”

“But—”

“Marinette,” Tikki says more sternly. “I wore a muzzle for centuries and have been forced to do things I didn’t want to do. I’ve been in pain, abandoned, misused, and tormented. I know what it means to be hurt by someone who is meant to protect you, I know what it does to you and the things it makes you do. Please, listen to me about this and let Adrien help.”

Marinette closes her mouth and guiltily avoids Tikki’s eyes. Tikki barely, if ever, spoke about how things had been before the other universe…everything the small Kwami had been through. And Marinette had never wanted to cause Tikki pain, she knew how it felt to be reminded of the thing that could destroy you, so she never asked.

Marinette slowly grabs some of the food and starts eating, Tikki smiles slightly and watches her eat to make sure she eats enough.

They don’t say another word and there’s a gentle understanding between them as Marinette finishes the food and lays back on the bed. It’s soft and the blankets are thick—far better than the hard mattress and thin blanket she’s always known.

She looks out the large window by her bed, it’s dark and well into the night. How long had she been here? Had it been hours? Minutes? Would her parents notice she’s gone?

She feels fresh tears forming in her eyes at the thought of her parents and bites her lip so hard she draws blood. She runs her hands over her wrapped hand, the tears falling freely as she remembers how it happened—how it really happened.

She shakes her head, trying to focus on something—anything—else, and looks around the room.

There’s expensive art and furniture everywhere, far nicer than anything Marinette has ever known in her whole life, but it’s also comfortable and tasteful. The room is…nice. She tries to close her eyes and go to sleep, but despite the comfortable bed and the welcoming ambiance of the room she feels completely restless.

The silence is deafening and a reminder of why she had ended up in the Agreste house in the first place.

Maybe Tikki is right, maybe she’s been in shock all day because she’s never told anyone the truth about her parents. Maybe she’s in shock at the fact that Adrien would help her with something like this. Maybe she buried her emotions for so long that she didn’t know how to fully feel them. Maybe this had never been a dream. Maybe her parents really are monsters. Maybe they never cared about her in the first place.

Maybe, maybe, maybe…

There’s so much she isn’t sure of and will never be sure of, so much she’ll never understand. But one thing that she does understand is that there’s one thing she’s always been sure of.

She snaps her eyes open and leans forward. This bed is incredibly nice and comfortable, but…she can’t sleep alone.

“Tikki?” Marinette whispers, hoping her Kwami is awake.

“I’m here, Marinette.” Tikki answers, suddenly flying in front of her face. “I’m always here.”

Marinette hugs her knees to her chest. “Tikki I…I can’t sleep when I’m…when I’m…”

“You can’t sleep alone.” Tikki finishes for her.

Marinette nods and closes her eyes as a tear falls down her cheek.

“When you’re alone all you see is them and what they’ve done to you, isn’t it?” Tikki says.

Marinette nods again, glad that she didn’t have to say the reason she can’t sleep out loud.

“You’re not alone, Marinette.” Tikki says. “You’ll never be alone again, you have me and you have Adrien. We won’t ever let you be alone again, we won’t let you go back to that place.”

Marinette slowly opens her eyes and meets Tikki’s gaze. “I know, Tikki. I just don’t…I need to…”

Tikki smiles and gently hugs Marinette’s knee. “You need to see him?”

Marinette nods.

“You only have to ask.” Tikki continues.

“Tikki, can I…”

“Of course. You know the words, Marinette.”

“…Thank you. Tikki, blots on!”

Tikki is immediately sucked into Marinette's earrings and she transforms into Shadybug.

Without a moment’s hesitation, she opens the window and jumps out, quickly swinging over to the other side of the house where she knows Adrien’s room is. Thankfully, the window is open like it has been at night for as long back as she can remember…if her head wasn’t so clouded, she’d probably be wondering if he left it open just for her like she had for him with her balcony.

She stops that thought in its tracks, she can’t let herself think of that place…she can’t let herself go there, at least not for tonight, tomorrow she can let herself feel all of that.

She jumps through Adrien’s window and he immediately leans up from his bed.

“Bug?”

“Did I wake you up?”

“I wasn’t sleeping…I was thinking of transforming but I…”

“Tikki, blots off.” A pink light flashes and Marinette detransforms. Tikki sends her a concerned glance then flies off to Plagg’s corner to rest.

Adrien rips the blanket off and comes to her side, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug. “What’s going on, Bug?”

“I just wanted to see you, after everything today and everything you know now…I was worried that you wouldn’t…that we weren’t…”

Adrien pulls back to look her in the eyes. “Nothing could ever change what this is, Marinette. Nothing. Your spotted ass is stuck with me, now and forever.”

Marinette feels a warmth spread through her hearing him say he would never leave her like everyone else had. She knows he’s trying to lighten the mood to maybe get her to smile after the day they had together and hearing those familiar words he said the first time they met just further reminds her of how far they’ve come from who they once were.

“I couldn’t sleep in there.” Marinette says, quick to change the subject so her thoughts don’t wander where they don’t belong. “…In a new place and bed I don’t know, it just felt so…wrong.”

Adrien nods in understanding. “You can sleep in my bed, Nette.”

She nods awkwardly and sits on the edge of the bed, looking at her hands. Adrien kneels in front of her and rests his head on her knees similar to a housecat waiting for attention. The thought of the infamous Claw Noir acting like a domesticated housecat almost makes her smile—almost.

“Are you okay, Bug?” Adrien asks.

If it were anyone else, Marinette would say fine and aggressively change the subject, maybe throw in an insult or threat for good measure.

But this isn’t just anyone. This is Claw Noir, her partner and the only person who understands her. This is Adrien Agreste, her best friend and the person who makes the world less shitty. This is her fleabag, fur-face, pretty boy, and Cat—her everything more and inbetween.

“No,” Marinette answers with tears starting to form in her eyes. “No, I’m not okay. I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay, Adrien. I…I’ve been burying my feelings for so long that I’m not sure how to feel them and this…m-my parents…I…I don’t know anything else. It’s all I’ve known my whole life and I know I’m fucked up. But I’m terrified that I’m going to fuck us—this—up and you’re the best thing that’s ever fucking happened to me. I can’t, I won’t—"

Adrien leans forward and hugs her hips, resting his head against her knees. A low vibration going against her that immediately calms her down and causes her to stop talking, something that had only ever happened when he’s transformed as Claw Noir. It takes her a moment to realize what’s happening: he’s purring. She didn’t even know he could purr as Adrien.

He slowly stands up and leans his forehead against hers, his purring quiet and hard to hear, but a sound Marinette would know anywhere.

“You’re not going to fuck this up, Marinette.” Adrien whispers. “I promise that won’t happen.”

Marinette hums. She’ll fight like hell to believe him, but how can she when her whole life the people who are meant to care for and love her called her a useless fuck-up? She doesn’t know how to believe she won’t, but with Adrien…with Adrien maybe she could learn.

“You should get some sleep, Bug.” Adrien whispers, which Marinette knows is his way of saying he means it without pushing past a boundary she isn’t ready to cross. It’s always been a relief to her all the things they could say without ever using words, especially when her head isn’t on right.

Marinette nods as Adrien takes his hands off of her and she lays down on his bed to get comfortable. Tomorrow she could feel all those things she’s buried, all the hurt and the pain she kept hidden. Tomorrow she could let the truth sink in, but tonight, she just wants to feel completely safe.

Adrien takes a step away and Marinette immediately grabs his arm, knowing there’s more to say between them. She swears she can almost hear both of them saying the things they never would because, why would they need to when the other already knew?

“Are you sleeping here?” Marinette says. Please don’t leave me alone.

“I can sleep on the couch or in another room if you want.” Adrien answers. I’m here, whatever you need.

“No, I don’t want you to go.” You’ve done so much for me already.

“And I don’t want to go.” Anything for you.

This is the person that had been closed off and hated her. This is the person who had her heart from the very beginning and showed her the way out of the darkness. This is the person who’s always meant more to her than anyone else, even before she accepted that fact. She wants him to understand that, that with every broken promise or violent attempt to please the Supreme, every day before and after the other universe, the one thing that had always been the best part of her life has been him.

“Then stay.” Marinette whispers, knowing he’ll understand what she really means. I love you. I always have.

Adrien blinks and a gentle smile spreads across his face. “Okay.” I love you. I always will.

She falls asleep in his arms knowing that she could feel the world crashing down on her tomorrow and every day after, but for now—just for a moment in his arms—she has a little peace.

#speechless changes #claw noir #fanfic #miraculous ladybug #shadybug #adrinetteapril2024 #villains #reverse crush #sharing bed #found family #flirting

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marzs-space · 4 months

Text

Impartial sins

Chapter (1)6: dead human runaway

Warning: language, death, ooc? I think that's all. Let me know if I missed something, if uncomfortable, don't read! M!list link

Previously Next

Recap: I yawn and lay down, “your covering for me tomorrow” I mumble into my pillow. He sighs and nods, “just know you can't run from your emotions forever” I hear him say before I drift out of consciousness.

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The exchange program continued but the others seemed to be concerned about me, especially the angels. Belphegor… I don't trust him. I let Azrial keep doing whatever he pleases but still.. Belphegor bothers me.

I don't come out of the headspace anymore. On occasion when I'm alone with the angels or Solomon I will but even that's rare. It's not bad honestly, yeah sure. It can get a little boring but nothing daydreaming can't fix.

Azrial made pacts with the other brothers except for Lucifer, still. It's impressive. It's been months and they are still asking about me.. Maybe I should come out? For the last month or so of the exchange program? Hm.. Something doesn't feel right..

----------------

I let out a shaky breath as I stare at the scene in front of me. When did we switch out? I can still feel his hands around our throat.. Why am I shaking so much? I feel like I can't move.. His arms around my body snap me out of it.

Get off of me.. This feeling.. What is it? I feel like I felt it before but I can't remember.. My eyes burn and my throat feels like it's closing.. “Sadness, anger, betrayal, take your pick” Azrial says. I don't.. I don't want him near me.. or them.

I push him away from me and he looks at me.. shocked? “Azrial? Ace?” Lucifer calls out. Why is my vision blurring? Ah, I'm crying… Azrial said that's what happens when people are sad. I haven't cried or felt sad in years..

It.. feels like a relief? “Stay away from us” I say, instinctively taking a step back as Belphegor steps forward. He stops and looks.. Hurt? Offended? It's not like he's the one who died.. so why does he look like that?

“You killed me and expect me to forgive you?” I ask, biting back the chokes and sobs threatening to rip through my throat. I want to say more.. I want to cry out and scream in anger but… I can't.. I swallow the lump in my throat and speak anyway.

“I'm.. not staying here…” I say. “I'll send Solomon to-” Lucifer cuts in, “Ace, you can't just-” Something in me snaps... “He killed me and you want me to forgive him? There is no way I'm being unreasonable right now” I say as my voice cracks.

“As I said, Solomon will be over to pack me a bag” I say. “wouldn't it be best for you to stay at the castle for right now, Ace” barbatos says, because he always has something to fucking say. Of course he does.

“Wouldn't it have been better for you not to have let him kill me?” I'm met with silence, of course. “Didn't think so” I say, walking out of the house of lamentation. As I walk down the streets of devildom to purgatory hall I keep my head down.

Even though I already cried I can't help but feel like I want to cry more…

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Simeon stands in front of me, eyes full of worry and sympathy. Before he can get a word in I'm breaking down. How long have I longed to cry like this? Simeon responds immediately and wraps his arms around me.

I bury my head in his shoulder and cry. I didn't want anyone touching me, even worse, comforting me. Simeon feels different though… I feel like I can trust him.. Like I can cry like this every day and never be judged.

Is this what it feels like to have someone care about you?

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I let Simeon put my hair in a ponytail after I agreed to baking with Luke. I always enjoyed baking, even after I lost my emotions. Still, baking with him feels better than alone. I learned how to cook and bake because my family stopped doing it for me.

At first I hated it, I had trouble measuring and cooking for myself made me feel lonely. As I watch Luke and simeon fight off Solomon to not sabotage the food, I laugh. Contrast to what I felt earlier, I love this feeling.

I love how it feels… natural. I feel comfortable. “My adorable apprentice laughed! How sweet!” Solomon said, “Now will you stop trying to sabotage the food!?” Luke said, pushing Solomon away from the bowl.

“I'm not trying to sabotage anything…” Solomon said, faking a hurt expression. “Liar!” Luke huffed. For the first time in what feels like forever, I'll stop. I'll stop for them, even if it means waiting an eternity, I'll wait for them.

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“Simeon…” I groan, because of how long I was in my human form, my wings need to be preened badly. He sighs, “I know, just a few more…” he says, “it was just a few more an hour ago…” I sigh. “This time I really mean it” he says.

I huff but don't say anything. I'm truly grateful for them, the others tried to come and see me earlier. Luckily they managed to get the message across that I didn't want to see them, especially Luke. I yawn and lean back against simeon.

“Do you think they'll make me go back?” I ask quietly. He hums, “I'm not sure but I'll try to keep you here as long as possible” I smile. At least he'll try to help.

-----------------

I yawn as I listen to the teacher's lecture. Man, yesterday took it out of me. Then again emotions in general are tiring but feeling so many in one day… “Ace, do you know the answer to this question?” He asks.

I look at the board and yawn, “The second one, B” he nods, “correct, please finish the notes” I pick up my pencil and start writing again. I have a practice match for volleyball today after school, then I have Solomon helping me with magic…

Will I have energy to practice magic after the match? I might have to cancel on Solomon… I'll talk to him about it during lunch and see. Plus I still have to negotiate with Azrial over body usage… How annoying…

Fun fact!: Ace used to drink underage because his mother let him.

Taglist:

@doomsday-fae @cuddlybelphie @a-crazy-little-goblin @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf

#impartial sins #obey me #obey me oc #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me original character #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #miguel o'hara #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo #lesson 16

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independence1776 · 2 years

Text

@gellalaer From the comments on this post (because I’d run out of space in the comment box and also this is a lot of tangential navel-gazing):

It was nice to read your viewpoint on things. I'm so saddened to hear you feel the way you do. I know how you feel with not wanting to engage anymore. I'm barely holding on by a thread here, myself. I would miss you and arizonapoppy, if I left tomorrow. All my usual fandom friends I've grown apart from, since my Mum died, as I'm not on the sites they're on, anymore. Thanks again for the asks.

It’s a tough place to be in. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, too.

I can’t participate with fandom like I used to for numerous reasons. Part of it is serious offline life stressors; part of it is that grad school got me out of the habit of fandom because I was too busy to participate. (Like, it took me weeks to read a fic over lunch/dinner that I would normally be able to read in an evening type of busy.) I relied on rec lists then and haven’t gotten back into the habit of looking for fics on my own; also, I’ve been reading mostly original fiction this year. Part of it is that it’s very hard to maintain a squee/positive mindset in most places because random strangers will come onto your posts to debate, argue, or insult you when all you wanted to do was love something in public. And part of it is that I’ve lost my joy and enthusiasm and I don’t know how to regain it. (And in my worst moments, I ask myself if anyone would even care if I left fandom entirely.)

For Tolkien fandom in specific, I know a good chunk of my desire to not engage is anxiety brain. I said in the original post that “I can’t even read Tolkien right now without my anxiety ramping up because I feel like I’ll be forced to take sides in whatever arguments are ongoing and because I’ve been only tiptoeing in the very shallow end of the fandom for years now, I feel like I have no right to participate because I haven’t been reading Tolkien fic.”

Fault lines exist in this fandom. Some of them have changed over the years; some have gone dormant; others are newly created. I’ve been so quiet in Tolkien fandom I don’t even know where most of them are nowadays. And heaven forbid you don’t ship the popular ships or dislike the popular fanon or prefer Silm-version over HoME-version.

It’s stuff like: I said in an answer to a question in a previous meme that I tend to see characters as either straight or ace. I lost followers for that. Well, when I ship, I’m primarily a het shipper with side jaunts into m/f/f or m/f/m poly or femslash and I flatly prefer canon ships over noncanon ships. I can only assume those people didn’t know that. And I’m ace enough that I primarily write gen and that if someone isn’t explicitly said in-canon to be in a relationship, I will likely see them as ace. Yet because that’s an unpopular opinion in an area of fandom dominated by m/m shippers who sometimes act as though their ships are canon, it’s a fault line I’m on the wrong side of.

There is something very wrong when I can’t even read books I love without feeling afraid I’ll be questioned about my opinions of them. It’s anxiety brain. No one online knows if I’m rereading Tolkien if I don’t mention it! But I can’t shut up the fear I’ll be dragged into debates that I don’t care about, think are a waste of time, and are utterly unimportant in the grand scheme of things but that people treat as matters of life and death.

As for the “no right to participate” part: I know it’s fixed by asking for recs for currently formative or popular fics from the past five years or decade. But I have no guarantee I’d read any of them, remember enough of canon to understand them (the amount of Tolkien lore I’ve forgotten is ridiculous), or that people will respect my reading preferences. (I have asked for gen recs before and been recced mostly slash.) It seems like an awful lot of work for something that’s supposed to be fun; it turns fandom into an obligation.

But that is what I feel like right now: that people know me because I haven’t left the SWG spaces but I’m not reading Silmfic but people probably assume I am so I don’t dare act like I have no idea what’s going but sometimes I do and many times I don’t and I don’t participate in Tolkien fandom on Tumblr at all but people often act as though this is where the fandom is and everyone knows everything that’s going on. So how dare I roll in here acting as though I haven’t been participating in the fandom for years even though I really haven’t been active outside of chatting on the SWG Discord and making things for TRSB. (And wow that’s a run-on.)

Add in the constant, underlying pressure that people want more and more content (never stories, always content and few seem to care about the difference between content and creations/art) and that you’re irrelevent if you aren’t constantly writing and posting new things. There is far less a sense of a community of readers and writers in this together these days. But it also seems that it’s events events events and what’s wrong with you if you don’t participate in them? (And this even though I love some events.) There’s a constant pressure to fit in and be like everyone else, that everyone is in fandom for the same reasons and writes fic for the same reasons (which often means either shippy fic or “must fix canon because canon sucks” fic). The assumptions that everyone in fandom loves and prioritizes shipfic, that genfic is inherently less valuable or worthy of attention, and that shipping the only reason people are in fandom really gets on my nerves.

Well, I’m not exactly prolific. I don’t post WIPs; I can’t talk about what I’m currently writing to drum up interest. I can’t talk about what I want to write in the future. Because some of my fics contain darker subject matters, I’m worried that I’ll be jumped on by people who think those types of stories shouldn’t exist. Participating in events means I don’t work on my own ideas; I didn’t finish a story I really wanted to this year because I signed up for a couple of things in the back half of the year so my attention shifted to those stories. (I don’t regret writing them at all but it’s a matter of prioritization.) I don’t feel like I fit in with modern fandom.

I don’t want to leave and don’t plan to, but I’m not sure anymore there’s a place for me in much of fandom.

#gellalaer #i'm not even sure i should post all of this but hey: this is what i feel

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theninthdoor · 2 years

Note

Who do u think are the closest in enha

before answering, i feel like i need to put out a disclaimer first:

unfortunately, i'm not super familiar with the members, their dynamic or the background of the group. so what you see here is what i got by interpreting the card that came out for the connection + what my intuition was telling me. plus, these are their current energies, which means that tomorrow the order could be different!

I'm always available to hear your thoughts and opinions, too (just make sure to be respecful towards everybody...).

So, how does this work? I pulled a card for the connections of one member with each one of the others, and then organized their names according to level of closeness. Also, remember that being close with someone goes way beyond just spending a lot of time with them - it's also about being able to be vulnerable with them and understanding other without needing many words.

Niki: › Jake || King of Cups: Stable emotional connection. › Jay || Two of Cups: They are easily able to confide in each other, and there's an equal give and take. › Sunoo || Ten of Cups: They get along very, very well, although it's not quite as personal as the ones above. More like extended family. › Heeseung || Three of Cups: Great friends; may hang out a lot even outside of schedules. › Sunghoon || Seven of Pentacles: They're getting there, but it might take some more work. It's stable, tho! › Jungwon || Four of Pentacles: There are a lot of reservations in their connection. It might not be super easy for them to share their feelings and thoughts with one other. They'd rather keep it to themselves.

Jungwon: › Sunghoon || Four of Wands: They get along very well. This may be the member he spends the most time with out of all. › Sunoo || Eight of Cups: They might not spend a lot of time together, but they have a very good emotional understanding of each other. They might easily pick up on things that others miss (like one of them being upset and the other sees it right away, but the rest doesn't). › Jake || Five of Pentacles rx: It could be the type of friendship where they help each other out whenever they need, and they share a lot of their hardships with other each, but it doesn't go much deeper than that. Not an every day thing. › Niki || See Above! › Heeseung || Seven of Wands: They may often clash due to their strong opinions and personalities. It's not too bad, tho. Can be fixed. › Jay || Emperor: This just feels very serious. They can surely rely on each other if needed, but there aren't too many emotions involved in this one.

Sunghoon: › Jungwon || See Above! › Heeseung || Six of Swords: They help each other out a lot and work well together. If an issue comes up in one's life, the other might immediately offer assistance and advice on how to fix it. › Niki || See Above! › Sunoo || Three of Swords: There is hurt, here, for sure… but it can be because they are very sensitive to the other's opinions. If they didn't care about each other, that wouldn't happen. So take that as you will. › Jake || Temperance rx: These two may often fight by losing their patience with each other. It's hard for them to find a common ground to stand on, so they go to extremes very easily. One second they may be joking around with each other, but a second later they're already arguing. › Jay || Emperor: Again, very stiff, very serious. There's not a lot going on here. They may respect each other a lot and work well together, but it's all heavily professional, not so much personal.

Heeseung: › Jay || Two of Cups: Very personal; a very intimate friendship. They may share things with each other that they don't share with the rest. › Sunoo || Six of Cups: They're almost like siblings; very emotionally attached to each other. › Niki || See Above! › Sunghoon || See Above! › Jungwon || See Above! › Jake || Ace of Wands rx: There's not a lot of action here. They may simply lack common interests to connect over.

Sunoo: › Heeseung || See Above! › Niki || See Above! › Jay || King of Pentacles: These two can always rely on each other, as their friendship is very stable, grounded and mature. They may buy each other meals or gifts often, too. › Jungwon || See Above! › Sunghoon || See Above! › Jake || Five of Swords: They may argue a lot, to be honest. It's easy for them to get on each other's nerves.

Jake: › Niki || See Above! › Jay || Eight of Cups: Just as we saw with Jungwon and Sunoo, they may not spend a lot of time together, but they understand each other's feelings very well (you can go read what I wrote above, to get a better explanation). › Jungwon || See Above! › Sunghoon || See Above! › Heeseung || See Above! › Sunoo || See Above!

Jay › Heeseung/Niki || See Above! › Jake || See Above! › Sunoo || See Above! › Sunghoon/Jungwon || See Above!

(Disclaimer: all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)

#theninthdoor #tarotquickquestion #enhypen tarot #enhypen #kpop tarot #tqqenhypen

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streetlightgoblin · 1 year

Text

I don’t post enough about my boys

So today is about Aether

My sunshine child

This is more about who he is and his personality than anything

So it’s pretty obvious that he’s based off Dream, coming from a dreamtale type au

And well- he has a goopy twin

But I actin ace him with the intention of him being more similar to papyrus! (His skull looks like that because I couldn’t draw papyrus properly at the time-)

That means he also has a very papyrus-like personality

They’re extremely bubbly and happy and probably the biggest optimist around (he and Jorilde are still at competition over that)

They want nothing more than to help everyone around them, even at the cost of his own health. He would endanger himself in a heartbeat if it meant saving someone from harm. Of course, he constantly takes this too far

They don’t know how to properly help people, not really. They also hate the idea that anyone would have to feel too negatively (he doesn’t want anyone else to end up like their brother). So let’s say he were to go into a very negative au

He would want to “fix” that at any cost which usually leads to him using his abilities (to be explained later) to leave a sort of positive impression on the au (think ftfo but like- fucked up positivity and not the other way around)

Unfortunately with his corrupted magic, this leads to things like a very suppressed sense of fear (you can’t have as much fun if you’re scared to try.. right?) and the inhabitants of the au generally being left with a sort of high that doesn’t dissipate, if it does it causes the inhabitants to crave that feeling again

But when aether leaves, they can’t find that same feeling like they did before. In some aus that’s okay, and they are left with nothing more than a sense of longing. But in others? It could result in anger at it being taken away or a deeper pit of negativity. Not good in either situation. (Aether was actually based off the radiance! I was gonna base nyx off grimm, but it just didn’t fit quite as well. Love hollow knight!)

So aethers intentions at helping turn dark fairly quickly, even if it would kill him inside to find out.

Which leads to the next thing

Aether refuses to let himself feel negativity. Not because he can’t, he is more than capable of it

But because he saw what too much did to his brother, and he’s terrified to become like him as well. (He refuses to acknowledge that he is also corrupted in his own way)

For all the good intentions he has, he can’t seem to figure out how to play them out right, no matter how quickly he would out himself out for someone else’s sake

He’s a bit childlike in that way I suppose

…

I don’t know how to end this

The reason he has a split tongue is cause they bit it really bad as a child

I mean have you seen those teeth-? It’s bound to happen

(Nyx post will come tomorrow cause I’m at school now-)

#I love this idiot #I can’t call him little cause he’s too tall #aether #aether!dream #mílotale au #Mílotale #undertale au #utmv #my au

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deliriousfangirl61 · 1 year

Text

Grounded [Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw] Chapter III

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Liv "Queenie" Fairdon

Masterlist [~~~~]

18+

Series Warnings: Death, Violence, Cursing, Smut (later chapters). MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 18+

-------------------------

Description: It's been two years since the accident that turned Liv "Queenie" Fairdon's life upside down, and she's fine... supposedly. She seems to have come to terms with being Grounded permanently and the ache in her chest after losing her brother lessening day after day. She has come to love her job at the base and her home that she fixed up. Liv thought being Grounded was going to do her in for good but she seems absolutely fine. However, when a high-priority mission arises forcing the best of the best back to North Island old feelings begin to stir forcing Liv to deal with feelings she has buried. Not only that, but Bradley (Rooster) Bradshaw is gonna force new feelings causing Liv to question the walls she had perfectly put in place.

I'm running late. I know I am because Bob has texted me, worried that I had ditched him like I'd ever do that. I haven't seen my best friend in three months. I wouldn't just ditch the chance to meet up with him. Which Bob knows. He just gets nervous after a bit.

I wasn't expecting Warlock to interrupt me on my way out the door with some more information on how I'm to report tomorrow morning for my debrief on the upcoming mission.

It's one thing to skim over the details in the packet that Cyclone gave me, but it will be a whole other thing to hear it in full tomorrow. I can only imagine the mountain of worry that is going to encompass me tomorrow.

Warlock had been gentle and kind when he spoke to me just like he always is. He is a lot less subtle than Cyclone when it comes to his affection and slight favoritism toward me. So as he talked about my debrief and other responsibilities that Cyclone didn't mention, Warlock checks in on me. Asking me if I'm okay. If it's too much.

Is it?

I don't really know yet. None of the previous missions I have been working on have ever had this close of a resemblance to my last. I don't know how I'm gonna handle it. Not really anyway.

What I do know is that it is going to be extremely dangerous and unpredictable, and I really need someone to come home from this one if he's picked.

The thought of kidnapping Bob appears back in my brain again. I could lock him away for a few weeks, maybe drive him down to Tess' place. We would hang out with baby Thea and all would be well.

No, I can't do that.

I also agreed to this mission.

I don't need Cyclone to worry about more than he already does, which he would if I suddenly backed out now. No I could do this, I can do this. I'm just gonna be writing analytical reports on the aviators performance. That's it.

I can defintley do that.

After Warlock had finished giving me some last minute details I had rushed home changing into the first pair of pants and tee I saw. My hair is down from it's bun and it's now blowing around rapidly from the wind of my open window. My AC doesn't really work but I haven't had time to take it in yet.

I pull a little hazardously into a parking spot next to a cyan colored bronco. I wish I had time to admire it but instead I rush out of my car.

The Hard Deck is bustling like it normally is on a Friday. I spot Penny first, she's wearing a devilish grin as the talks to the man in front of her. Her eyes trail behind him briefly and spot me. I make a beeline towards her and she is beaming by the time I reach the bar.

"Hey Liv! Bob says your late." She slides away from the man in front of her and I get a good look at him.

"Yeah I know I am." I roll my eyes before I turn towards the man Penny was talking with to get a better look, he offers me a kind smile and a nod of his head.

Holy crap.

It dawns on me why I recognize him.

Well I guess I'm getting a head start.

"Captian Mitchell." I nod my head and he looks confused.

"I don't think we've met."

"You havent." Penny butts in and slides my usual in front of me. "Bob's by the pool tables." She gestures her head in his direction.

I thank her before pushing off of the bar sipping on my drink as I do so. Robert Floyd is one of the many aviators around the pool tables. He's glancing down at his watch, no doubt checking the time for me again. I smile, he is the same old Bobby as in high school. A flashback of seeing Bob waiting on the front steps of our school checking his watch anxiously as he waits for me and Andy to arrive flashes through my mind. It brings a warm smile to my lips.

"Floyd!" I call as I grow closer.

His head snaps up and a large dopey grin spreads onto the man's cheeks. He straightens up moving past the two men who are standing next to him, who are now also looking at me now with cocked eyebrows.

"Dang Liv, you are losing your touch. I mean 20 minutes late… tut tut tut." He shakes his head at me all while keeping that grin on his face.

Staring at him now I almost forget why I was so scared to see him. Why there's a perpetual knot that's been growing in my stomach since I read over the mission.

I can't dwell on that now. Instead I mirror his grin.

"As if Bobby, you can blame Warlock and the old lady in front of me on my drive over for the delay."

Bob and I meat in the middle.

"Blaming old ladies Liv? Now that's just cruel." He feigns a look of dissapointment at me and I laugh as I l grab one of his shoulder and move to hug him tighly. I'm careful to not spill my drink over his head

"So Warlock is an old lady now? I'll make sure to tell him that tomorrow morning."

Bob's laugh reveberates through me as his chest shakes. I breathe him in, he smells like he always does, he smells like mint. I know it's because of the pack he always keeps in his pocket but it reminds me of home. It reminds me that things will be okay.

I pull back after a moment but Bob stays close his eyes roaming over my face. Searching for any hints that I may not be okay. He finds none.

"I am sorry I'm late though. I tried my best to speed but I couldn't bring myself to pass by the poor old lady." I say and Bob shakes his head at me.

"It's a miracle how that old junk box you call a car is able to go above 40 at all, let alone speed."

I gasp holding a hand above my heart.

"Robert Benjamin Floyd, do not talk about my baby like that. Don't forget she got you to your senior prom and graduation mister so be grateful for her."

Bob rolls his eyes at me but there's still that endearing smile on his face. "It furthers my point about how that thing is nearing it's end Liv."

I shake my head at him narrowing my eyes playfully.

"Hate to break up this little reunion. But you gonna introduce us to your friend, Bobby?" A voice pipes up from behind Bob's frame.

Bob's jaw twitches of the use of the nickname not coming from me. He doesn't comment on it though as he steps back revealing me to the group of aviators who are reguarding the two of us with curious glances.

Bob wraps an arm around my shoulders.

I feel warm with all the eyes that are now staring at me.

Which seems a bit crazy to me because I use to revel in the attention. Even before I became a pilot and that naval aviator confidence was injected into my veins I didn't mind the attention. Since the incident though I find myself hating it more and more. I never know if they're staring at my face or the awful scars that poke out from behind my shoulders and peak out around the base of my neck.

"Everyone this is Leutienant Liv Fairdon, callsign: Queenie. We went to highschool and the academy together so we are old friends." Bob introduces.

All at once I see a ripple of recognition flow through the group. I should have expected this, but nonetheless, I feel my throat tighten and my palms begin to sweat. I force the smile on my lips to stay.

"The legendary Queenie, the one with..." The blonde man who piped up is cut off by a woman who claps him on the back with a loud laugh that leaves her lips.

"With three confirmed air to air kills. Looks like I was mistaken Bagman you are not the only one." She exclaims looking a little too pleased to rub it into the mans face. She turns to me. "I didn't realize you were still flying. Everyone said you left after your last mission." The last part is spoken gently but I still feel Bob go rigid beside me.

The blonde man is glaring slightly at the back at the girl's head, who doesn't seem to notice or care.

"I'm not flying actually. I'm an advisory analyst now, probably why you didn't hear about my return." I say it casually like it doesn't pain my heart a little at the reminder that I am stuck on the ground.

Sure it was hard to fly after Andy but I felt so close to him back up in the sky after the incident and that wasn't an option anymore. Clara's words ring in my head. "You have maybe one or two flights left Liv, but after that, it's too much. Your body can't handle the pressure and stress, not anymore."

I had one flight after the incident and now I have one left. A gift from Admiral Simpson after he discovered that I could never fly permanently again.

"Well that's a shame Queenie, I would have enjoyed having some actual competition. I guess you being decommisioned though does give me a chance to beat your record." The blonde grins at me, a cocky smirk on his face.

"What a cowboy." I hear Andy's voice say in the back of my head. He would've already been talking circles around Hangman, getting into an ego war about missions if he was here. He always did that when a pilot got too cocky around me, his brotherly protectiveness showing through.

"It wouldn't have been much of a competition, but now you may have a chance." I retort.

Bob stiffles a small laugh but the man just seems fueled by my comment. His eyes ignite with a fire and I can already tell he will be causing me problems on this mission.

"Let's introduce you to everyone. That is Hangman." Bob points to the blonde man who is still staring at me intensely. "Over there is Payback, Fanboy and Coyote. There's Rooster and then Pheonix, she's going to be my pilot."

I follow Bob's finger, I'll have to committ their faces and callsigns to memory because by Monday it will be my job to analyze and critique their performance.

I sip at my drink, hoping that the alchohol with ease the tightness in my throat and the nerves knotting in my stomach. Only now do I realize that somehow I have nearly emptied my glass. I must have ben sipping on it nervously throughout this conversation.

Bob's arm has fallen from it's place around my shoulders, and he has relaxed slightly falling into a conversation with Fanboy who had moved around the pool table closer to us.

"Nice to finally put a face to all those stories I've heard about the famous Queenie." A deep voice draws my attention and I am met with a gaudy Hawaiian shirt that reminds me of those dads in cheesy vacation movies. It's Rooster, I'm almost sure of his callsign.

"I wouldn't believe half of them. Drunk navy men tend to exagerate." I turn to him fully.

The Hawaiian shirt is over a tightly stretched white shirt and I try not to stare. Instead, I move my eyes up to lock with his hazel ones. Rooster is attractive, I will give him that, despite the 80's stache he gots going on.

"Oh, I doubt that, you ruled the skies even in flight school, it's how you got your call sign, right?"

I chuckle softly.

"Those cocky boys made it far too enjoyable to kick their asses. It's the only reason why I did so well, that and I had an amazing WSO."

Rooster nods and I see a flash of something in his eyes, sympathy maybe. I never know much people do know about Andy, or Casper as he was better known in the Navy. I know that people know he died, along with three other aviators around the same time, but they don't know the specifics. They really don't know the horrors of that mission.

"Well then Queenie, you will have to tell me the real stories one day," Rooster says, slightly grinning.

"Call me Liv, please. I don't really go by Queenie anymore."

Rooster nods.

"Alright, I'll call you Liv on one condition."

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"You let me buy you a drink."

I laugh. "Alright, seems easy enough."

Rooster grins. I tell him my standard drink order and he starts toward the bar disappearing into the crowd.

I turn back to Bob who is already staring at me, a teasing look on his face.

"Were you flirting?" He muses softly.

I roll my eyes. "No Bobby I wasn't." I turn towards the door as an I hear loud whistles. "Looks like the others are arriving." I direct my attention to the wave of aviators now entering the bar.

I can see Bob give me a look out of the corner of my eyes. One that says "I will bug you about it later."

"That's Harvard, Yale, Omaha, shit that's Fritz." Payback mutters surveying them as they enter.

"Holy crap, how serious is this mission?"Fanboy pipes up and despite having more knowledge on the subject I don't answer them.

Bob glances at me but I just send him a wink. I will explain to him later in the comfort of my home just how serious and dangerous this mission is. Explain that he needs to be the best he has ever been. I will also need to figure out how to handle this mission. I guess I could shut down, look at it from just an analytical point of you, be hyper-rational, and don't think of this mission any other way. However, as I glance around the aviators, I have a feeling that won't work for me.

"That's what I'm beginning to wonder too." Rooster appears so suddenly back beside me, my drink in his hand.

"That was fast."

Rooster shrugs his shoulders at me throwing a smile my way as he sips from his beer.

"You guys are missing the bigger picture," Pheonix calls out turning from her spot at the pool table.

"Then enlighten us Nix," Rooster replies.

"Everyone here is the best of the best, right?"

They nod.

"Who in the hell are they gonna get to teach us."

I lift my drink to my lips, hiding the small smile that appeared on my lips. However as if realizing that I am still here and what I do, heads turn in my direction. They arch eyebrows at me willing me to spill the information that I know. When I don't immediately say anything Fanboy takes a step toward me.

"Do you know?" Fanboy asks.

"Of course, I know, but where would the fun be if I told ya?" I grin.

They groan at me. "Easy lady and gents, you will all find out on Monday morning."

I can see Rooster shaking his head at me. I turn mine in his direction just as he sends a wink toward me and disappears into the crowd once again.

"You gonna tell us anything about the mission," Pheonix asks a teasing grin on her own lips. I have a feeling she already knows the answer.

"Nope."

Bob shakes his head at me an amused grin on his lips before falling back into his conversation with Fanboy. He hasn't strayed too far from me tonight probably feeling obligated as my friend to stick close by. Pheonix gives a shake of her own head before turning back to her pool game.

I stay in my place watching the aviators interact with each other. They will all be pushed to their limits soon, and will all be fighting for their spots on this mission.

The music cuts off with a chorus of groans and noises of annoyance coursing through the bar. Somewhere through it, I hear chords from a piano.

I watch as Pheonix drags Bob and the others in the direction of the piano where Rooster had disappeared too. Hangman however stands confused by the pool table obviously not liking the interruption of his song.

Somewhere behind me, the bell is rung. I bow my head as a soft laugh leaves my lips. Oh Penny, did that poor man really deserve it? I know of their history, just like I know of Admiral Kazansky's fondness for the man, no doubt the reason he is here. I only hope Penny does okay with him being back. Sure the woman acts like a mother to me and definitely doesn't need my protection but she still has it.

Hangman and Coyote smirk as they take off to the bar. I should stop them, and tell them that they are about to throw out their commanding officer. I don't though. I can only smile to myself as I watch as they along with Payback toss the captain out onto the sand.

I down the rest of my drink in two big gulps before pushing off from my spot exiting the bar from a side door. Hangman closes the door loudly behind him not noticing me as I watch Captain Mitchell scramble up from the sand.

He doesn't notice me as he stumbles and tries to shake the sand off himself.

I take a deep breath.

"Are you alright Captain?"

His hand snaps up to meet mine, halting his pursuit to dust the sand off his jeans.

"I'm fine, although I would appreciate an introduction if I'm being honest"

"Lieutenant Liv Fairdon, I will be your advisory analyst on this mission, and in the concept of complete transparency, I've been also tasked with keeping an eye on you," I say and he seems a bit taken aback by my honesty.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, Admiral Simpson asked me himself this evening."

He scoffs softly to himself. "Well, then he's probably already told you everything you need to know about me then?" Captain Mitchell shoves his hand in his back pocket as he stares at me, a look a mixture of annoyance and perplexment.

"No he didn't tell me anything, but I've heard a lot about you, Captain, from Admiral Kazansky."

His eyes widen only for a second before he looks down. "Oh."

"I've spent a lot of time with him the past year, helping him get his naval affairs in order. Though he spent a lot of time in between talking about you, and how great of a pilot you are. Not better than him but still." I pause taking a step toward the man. "Both Admiral Kazansky and Admiral Simpson have done and mean a lot to me. I know one dislikes you greatly and one cares for you immensely but I don't really care about either of their opinions."

I remember those long hours locked away in Admiral Kazansky's study as we poured over old flight reports and studies. As I patiently sat on the stool as he typed out stories when he got tired of staring at the pages in front of him. A lot was of his old WSO, Slider, who joined us once or twice but an even amount was of Captain Mitchell who stares back at me now with skepticism in his eyes and his mouth slightly agape as he looks me over.

"All I care about from you is that you make sure that the person I love comes home... That all of them come home. I don't care about your past or your stubbornness or anything else that lead Admiral Simpson to dislike you so, all I care about is them coming home. Do we have an understanding?"

He doesn't say anything, just stares at me. After a moment he nods.

"We have an understanding."

I nod curtly allowing my body to go rigid. "Good... Captain Mitchell." I salute before turning quickly to my feet and heading back into the bar.

Bob spots me after a moment and waves me over. I am quickly tucked under his arm as he singly loudly and off-key as Rooster pounds on the piano keys to "Great Balls of Fire."

My heart is still pounding loudly in my ears from my confrontation with Maverick, but I manage to fall into Bob's side as I join in the song. I catch Rooster's eye's behind his sunglasses and there's a gleam in there as he loudly sings the chorus, the veins in his neck pop and strain turning red as he practically yells it.

I can barely hear my own voice as I yell along with him.

Everyone is bumping along, swinging randomly to the song. Even Hangman has joined in, standing beside Coyote as he nods his head along.

I really hope Maverick understands me, because, while I want Bob to come home so badly that it physically hurts me to think otherwise, as I watch the group singly awfully to the song I know that I really need all of them to come home. I don't want to see their faces hung beside Andy and the others in the long hallway near my office.

I really need Maverick to succeed.

I know it took me forever. I just didn't think any of my drafts were good enough!

But anyway here it is!

[~~~~] Next Chapter- Coming Soon!

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