#someone's definitely made this joke already
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ANON. LET ME COOK WITH THIS ANON.
third time's the charm !?
miya atsumu x male reader
word count: 1.8k
atsumu's self proclaimed "flirting" doesn't get him very far when the guy he's crushing on is absolutely clueless.
FEM ALIGNED DNI
atsumu miya is a fairly popular student. he’s quite well known among his classmates, and generally well liked. as a result, he’s grown a bit cocky. he considered himself a chick magnet— osamu jokes that he’s actually just a manwhore, to atsumu’s dismay— but the fact remains that he was attractive and he knew it, even if he never really acted on it. sure, he liked the attention, but when it came down to it, and osamu or suna ever prodded on why he didn’t get with any of the countless people leaving love letters in his locker, he would simply say they were ‘distractions’. his main focus was volleyball! he’d mess around here and there, but he would never take any of his little flings seriously. that’s what he’s been telling himself. he knows he could get with anyone, and he prides himself on that. it gives him a sense of power; a sense of control— until a certain (name) (surname) joined his class.
the teen had transferred into inarizaki in the middle of second year, and while he knew of the ‘wonder twins’ (he so aptly nicknamed them in his head) through friends and bits he’d seen online, he didn’t care much for them. as far as he was concerned, they were just teenagers. athletes with admirable skill, sure, but teenagers nonetheless. just the same as he was.
atsumu’s been pulling his hair out over the past few weeks because of (name)— his previous logic going straight out the window with the new transfer student. any and all attempts that the setter made to drop hints were futile. the guy was, to put it simply, far too dense.
ATTEMPT ONE: HOMEROOM.
upon (name’s) initial arrival, atsumu’s hooked immediately. it’s not like his introduction was anything crazy; the teacher called him in, he introduced himself, and sat down in the free seat next to suna and behind atsumu. but there’s something so appealing about the teen that draws atsumu in. the setter turns around in his seat, his usual lazy grin sprawled across his face.
“hey there. name’s miya atsumu,” he hums, before jutting a thumb towards the seat to (name’s) left. “that there’s suna rintaro.”
the expected reaction, if you know who he is— and he’s offended at the notion someone at his school potentially wouldn’t— would be absolute joy and surprise. instead, the new student responds with a, “oh. you’re the volleyball guys, right? nice to meet you two.”
suna has to bite back a snort at atsumu’s expression— his jaw dropped, his eye twitching. that’s it? “ya know who i am, yeah?” he asks, regaining his composure immediately. “ain’t i impressive?” he drawls.
“i guess? yeah. you’ve got impressive skill.” (name) responds, seemingly missing the way atsumu bristles at the lack of praise. he decides to flirt a little, wanting to throw this guy off his game.
“since ya missed some of the curriculum already, i can help ya study. get ya caught up.” atsumu says. he catches the way (name’s) face lights up and feels the pride bubbling in his chest. “really? that’d be such a big help! where should we meet up?”
“i was thinkin’ we could study at my place,” atsumu hums, voice a bit lower.
“. . . wouldn’t it be more productive if we went to a library or cafe? i also don’t wanna disturb your parents at all.” (name) replies. suna barks out a laugh, and atsumu shoves his shoulder. “shut it, suna!” he sputters.
“i’m definitely tellin’ ‘samu this later,” the teen snickers, leaning back in his chair. “‘n turn around, ‘tsumu, the lesson’s startin’.”
with a grumble, atsumu turns back to face the front, his arms crossed. there’s no way he just got blown off like that . .
ATTEMPT TWO: VENDING MACHINE.
atsumu refused to give up, even after the relentless nagging from suna to ‘quit being a pussy’ lasted for weeks on end. the two of them sat together with osamu and ginjima on their lunch, a figure slumped over the table, groaning dramatically; the person being atsumu, of course.
“could ya whine a lil quieter? i’ve gotta finish my history assignment and yer bein’ distractin’,” suna says, prodding at atsumu’s crunchy hair— which only prompted another, longer, louder groan.
“i don’t get it! how oblivious is this guy gonna be?!” atsumu whines, his cheek pressed against the cool table. his teammates were going to comment on how none of his attempts were straightforward in the slightest, but decided to let him wallow a bit longer. with a sigh, atsumu stands from his seat, shoving his hands into his pockets. he just needs to clear his head.
“d’you guys want anything from the vending machine?” he asks. they tell him their respective requests, and he exits the cafeteria to find a free vending machine. as he’s wandering about, mind filled with thoughts and plans to get (name) to give in to his ‘flirting’, lo and behold, he’s right there, crouched in front of the vending machine. a pretty face contorted into a hardened expression, eyebrows furrowed as he scans the contents, before letting out a sigh and standing. he turns in the direction of atsumu, and he jumps a little.
“oh! miya-san, hey.” he hums. atsumu scoffs lightly at that, walking closer and leaning an arm against the edge of the vending machine. at this angle, he can see (name’s) face perfectly, the light from the window on the other wall shining beautifully against his skin. it makes him feel giddy.
“i told ya, you can jus’ call me atsumu. drop the honorifics already, (name),” he drawls, his signature smirk on his face. “ya grabbin’ a drink?” (name) nods. he frowns slightly, turning back to look at the vending machine. “i can’t decide what to get, though. any suggestions?”
it’s almost like a lightbulb sparks above atsumu’s head. he has a perfect idea. leaning over (name), he comes closer to the glass dividing them and the drinks, purposefully drawing his face inches away from (name).
“hm,” he narrows his eyes, pretending to think about it, before pointing to a peach tea can, letting that same arm loosely wrap above the other teen’s shoulder. “this peach tea’s pretty good. it’s sweet, just like you,” he says, adding that last part a little quieter.
this has to be it. (name) has to hear that and take the hint, atsumu thinks to himself. so when (name) turns, his face lighting up with joy, and he responds with, “that sounds perfect, man! thank you!” he gawks at the teen's obliviousness as he punches in ‘D-3’ on the keypad, sliding the coins in. the can falls down with a thud, and he takes it, walking off as he cracks it open and takes a sip.
atsumu really cannot catch a break.
ATTEMPT THREE: NATIONALS.
atsumu's been going at it in the gym for the entirety of his lunch break, practicing his serves, sending ball after ball over the net.
“i’m done!” atsumu sputters, his shoes squeaking as he jumps up, arms stretched out as he slams another volleyball across the court. it lands out, and he grits his teeth. “he's impossible! he keeps actin' all buddy-buddy with me!”
osamu snorts at his brother's pouting. “so you'd rather (name) hate yer guts?” “that's not what i meant!” he huffs childishly, kicking at the floor. “fuck it. i’m tellin’ ‘im! ‘samu,” he whirls around to face his twin, jostling him by the shoulders.
“where would (name) be right now?” “why would i know that? it's lunch, check the classrooms.” osamu says dryly, shoving atsumu off of himself.
atsumu just nods, ignoring the action. like his life depends on it, he sprints out of the gym and towards the main building. through the side doors, past the lockers, up the stairs, to the very end of the hall, until he reaches their classroom.
“(name)!” he all but yells, sliding the door open with too much force. students whisper and murmur around the room, girls huddled up in the corners, eyes wide and hands cupped over their cheeks as they practically marvel at the sight of atsumu. (name), however, looks a bit concerned. placing his lunchbox onto his desk, his fork laid gently beside it, he stands and walks over to the door, not noticing the stares from all over the classroom. as he steps out, he shuts the door behind him.
“atsumu? are you alright?” he asks, eyebrows furrowed. “you look like you just ran a marathon—”
“we're goin’ to nationals tomorrow,” atsumu pants. (name) knew that— he's heard him and the others on the team talk about it in the halls, or when they have lunch at atsumu's desk.
“right, yeah. goodluck with that. you guys are gonna do amazing, obviously,” (name) chuckles. god, the sound makes atsumu's heart ache. he needs to get it out already, he's wasted far too much time dawdling.
“right, yeah. words don't mean much, though,” atsumu leans an arm against the wall, right next to (name). “a goodluck kiss would work wonders, though.” he says smoothly. this was his final attempt for (name).
the teen stiffens up at that. “what?” he laughs, wondering if he even heard atsumu correctly. “ya heard me. it’d be pretty motivatin’ if the pretty boy i’ve been likin’ gave me a lil goodluck kiss. just a lil peck.”
what?
“. . . you like me?” (name) asks. “since when?” atsumu huffs at that. “since forever! yer just too dense, i’ve been tryna hint at it for months now!” at that, the realization dawns on him. oh. “i thought you were just being nice!” (name) sputters, clearly trying to defend himself. atsumu lets out a choked noise.
“am i that bad at flirting?” he asks weakly. “no! i don't think so? i didn't realize you liked me at all! you should have said something!”
yes. he should have. he knows that, god knows osamu does as well. he just leans in a little closer. “so, how about that goodluck kiss, hm?” he asks after a beat of silence.
with a light scoff, (name) plants his hands on atsumu's shoulders, gripping at the fabric of his uniform shirt. it’s crumpled and smells slightly like sweat, but he decides to overlook that detail. he leans in, capturing atsumu's lips with his own. the kiss was brief, but atsumu's hands had already flown to cup the back of (name's) neck, gently tugging him forward. (name) lets out a startled noise, but doesn't move back until a few seconds later.
“so. you'll be watchin’ me at nationals, yeah?” atsumu drawls, his fingers carding through (name's) hair, idly twisting a strand.
“of course i will.”
this was so fun to write omg!!! also my reqs are open if you wanna drop any ideas for any fics !!
divider by @/plutism !!
#(◠‿・)—☆ lix writes !!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x male reader#haikyuu#x male reader#x reader#atsumu x male reader#miya x reader#miya atsumu x reader#miya atsumu x male reader#atsumu miya#haikyuu fanfiction#kind of a crackfic#mxm
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"Metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka, the most famous example of the idea "Would you still love me if I was a bug?"
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Into the Slenderverse
Government Approved List of Slender Blogs
(Collected by the Blog Oversight Agency (BOA))
Slender Bureaucracy (@slender-bureaucracy)
Realest Slenderman (@realest-slenderman)
Fakest Slenderman (@fakest-slenderman)
Bitchless Slenderman (@bitchless-slenderman)
[Other] Bitchless Slenderman (@bitchlessslenderman)
Slender Woman (@slender-woman)
Woke Slenderman (@wokeslenderman)
Slenderfurry (@slenderfurry)
Pirate Slenderman (@pirateslenderman)
Green Slenderman (@greenslenderman)
[Other] Green Slenderman (@green-slenderman)
Slendermanager (@slendermanager)
Homophobic Slenderman (@homophobe-slenderman)
Splendorman (@the-splendorman)
Scared Slenderman (@scared-slenderman)
Cat Slenderman (@cat-slenderman)
Catboy Slenderman (@catboy-slenderman)
Transgender Slenderman (@transgender-slenderman)
Slendergoat (@scariest-slendergoat)
Crypto Slenderman (@crypto-slenderman)
Silliest Slenderman (@silliest-slenderman)
Asexual Slenderman (@asexual-slenderman)
Trans Slenderman (@trans-slenderman)
Gay Slenderman (@gay-slenderman)
Autistic Slenderman (@autistic-slenderman)
Forgetful Slenderman (@forgetful-slenderman)
Paper Slenderman (@paper-slenderman)
Fashionista Slenderwoman (@fashionista-slenderwoman)
Cuttlefish Slenderman (@cuttlefish-slenderman)
Slenderdragon (@collectmydragons)
Slendermusk (@slendermusk)
Arsonist Slenderman (@arsonist-slenderman)
Catgirl Slenderman (@catgirl-slenderman)
Photographer Slenderman (@photographer-slenderman)
Teenage Slenderman (@teenageslenderman)
Detective Slenderman (@detective-slenderman)
Slenderdog ( @slenderdawg )
Gay Pride Slenderman ( @gaypride-slenderman )
Ender Slenderman ( @enderslenderman )
Brave Slenderman ( @brave-slenderman )
Defense Slenderman ( @defense-slenderman )
Poorly Drawn Slenderman ( @poorlydrawnslenderman )
Self Care Slenderman ( @selfcare-slenderman )
The Challenging Slenderman ( @the-challenging-slenderman )
Trendy Slenderman ( @trendyslender )
Slenderthey ( @slenderthey )
Christian Slenderman ( @christian-slenderman )
Short Slenderman ( @short-slenderman )
Spenderman ( @spenderman )
Canadian Slenderman ( @canadian-slenderman
[48 Total]
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Slender Collector (@slender-collector)
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you’re laughing. wow. i’m squeezing ur hips because i think ur so cute and you’re laughing.
#someone has definitely already made this joke#but idc#i want to tickle someone. so bad#foaming at the mouth#tummy tuesday cannot get here soon ENOUGH#tickling#tickle community#lesbian#ellie shut up
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#my art#osc#ii#inanimate insanity#ii knife#ii suitcase#ii steve cobs#ii16#someone has definitely already made this joke but i thought of it independently so whatever
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Rip Ponyboy Curtis you woulda loved blasting Dead! by My Chemical Romance and telling your bothers “it’s not just a phase!”
#I’m a comedian today#someone definitely had already made this joke#Ponyboys emo phase#Ponyboy -it’s not a phase - Curtis#jeez I crack myself up#the outsiders musical#the outsiders#outsiders 1983#ponyboy curtis#the outsiders ponyboy#the outsiders 1983
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magical girl transformation but i just turn into a functioning adult
#someone has definitely made this joke already#give me strength to do my hw pls why is it so hard for me
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cabinet man
#reart#fnaf eclipse#fnaf sb#someone definitely made this joke already but i do not care#eyestrain#eyestrain tw#tw eyestrain#just playing around with funky colours
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pokemon estrogen and pokemon testosterone
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Marinette after fu gives her the miraculous:
Marinette on google 5 minutes later:
#marinette#miraculous shitpost#shitposts#my post#miraculous memes#mlb season five#mlb marinette#mlb fandom#miraculous fandom#miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir#I’m sure someone has already made this joke#idk what to tag my posts im so bad at this#Marinette probably spent a good few hours trying to work out how to do all her cool spidermany swings#I can’t remember if this is ever mentioned in the show#ladybug#miraculous ladybug#ladybug memes#definitely not cause I bought a yoyo and don’t know how to use it#miraculous#mlb
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y2 daigo dinner but make it healthy <- theres seltzer instead of booze <- this does not negate the heart attack in a can right next to it
#snap chats#fyi never make a post on tumblr mobile because it will never go through and you'll want to kill someone !!!!!!#anyway hi everyone :) back from nyc :) i have THE LAMEST stories to tell tomorrow but rn im giggling at my new kirbies#and the christmas gifts i got my bro but moving on Before Anyone Starts and i swear to god I Will Kill You if you say 'well actually'#i know daigo is more of a whiskey man and they dont put whiskey in a can but for the bit we will act like he drinks beer sometimes#i wanted to make jokes for a while abut daigo drinking liquid death to try and contol his binge drinking so let me have this#i already made jokes about daigo drinking monster. probably. maybe. definitely to someone at least.#i dont even like energy drinks but.... heh... guess you could say..... i was... drawn like a... moth to a flame... hehe..#butterflies and moths are cousins suck my gonads. anyway my fave moth is the luna moth and my fave butterfly is the dragonfly-tail butterfl#theyre so silly looking and the colors are so pretty......#highkey tho this post relevant to the times cause of that fuckin redbull post i made LOLOLOL#playable daigo but he drinks monster instead of tauriner oh god THERES TAURINE ON THE FUCKING CAN#shaking crying throwing up im so fucking smart#ok im gonna drink both of these now <3 because im a glutton <3 BYE
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this is not my beautiful house. this is not my beautiful wife.
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The Q is qsmp stands for quick because of how fast everything is always moving
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Project(ing onto) Shadow
#t.alk#this post doesnt apply to me i just feel Very Smart rn. someone has definitely already made this joke
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petition to replace the idea that gender neutrality being when people are gnc/trans/etc. with the simple, yet effective, term "schrodinger's gender"
#queer#lgbtq+#genderqueer#genderfluid#nonbinary#gender nonconforming#trans#transgender#definitely not an original thought because I am actually unable of thinking#so I apologise if someone else has made this joke already
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Hurricane: Become Human
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