#someone that won't understand won't help me at all. I will just feel like I'm over sharing and like they're judging me lmfao
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reality-shitting · 2 days ago
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General realizations ab shifting that helped me
The void is not a realm or a place- it is YOU. You ARE the Void. The Void is solely the awareness of being, fully.
You are not ONE being. Think of the consciousness in you as being interconnected with all other infinite versions of you. These interconnections converge into your full consciousness, the true YOU. It's almost Eldritch to think about.
Something I'm just now thinking of, perhaps this means the subconscious is all other versions of you- you're separated and cut off from experiencing the entirety of being, but that entirety is still there, guiding you from behind the scenes.
No matter what the assumption, "I am" is true. I am kind, as my actions and thoughts show, but I'm also cruel and cold-hearted, as may be the perception of another. I think I'm funny, but someone else may think I'm cheesy- therefore, I am both. And this also goes for the personas of myself in other realities. I am everything. Simultaneously, this also means I am Nothing. I simply am.
To add to the points above, I believe this "Eldritch" conglomerate is what we call the Void state, and would explain why every manifestation happens instantly once we reach this state. Think of it like accessing the files in an infinite data base- all you need to do is find the files you're looking for and download them.
As much as people will try to stress things like "you need to let go" or realizing that shifting is easy, you won't truly be able to understand what they're saying until you experience it.
All things exist at once and every inconceivably small action creates a new reality. As small as "this single cell from 7000 years ago died .000000001 seconds prematurely", and smaller.
Shifting IS easy- in the same way that gleeking or stretching is easy. Some people are able to do it on command or go further than others with no training whatsoever. Others may do it accidentally and sporadically. This does not mean the latter are unable to do these things at will, but they simply need a bit of help learning to do it on command.
Question stressing you out? "But what about this plot hole?", "How does XYZ work??", "What will happen back in my OR???"- STOP. No need to stress yourself over that, this by itself I feel cost me years on my journey. Everything will work out. It doesn't matter how, but it will, and it will either even itself out or be in your favor. Don't even think about those things. Relax.
Another one that held me back MASSIVELY. Struggling to visualize your DR? "I know it has THIS SPECIFIC TABLE in this SPECIFIC place and everything has to be perfect"! No. Your visualization does Not need to be perfect. Nor does it have to be "accurate", really. Once you just let your mind wander and let your subconscious make up it's own layout, it'll help you slip in much more easily. I put so much pressure on myself to make sure I was visualizing my specific reality, and it became so much easier when I just trusted myself to build it up from my subconscious instead of "forcing" a look
They say once it's in the 4D (imagination), it's already real. That's why you're encouraged to embody, think, act, feel as your DR self. Like playing pretend as a kid, you'll be so focused on your imagination, you don't even realize you're in your OR. If you don't shift through that alone, it certainly helps make you feel far more connected. This is also why I came up with the Furina method (although I suppose it's debatable if I really "came up" with it)
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screamingforests · 21 hours ago
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This is a shoot off of the amazing @beloveds-embrace designationless!reader au! All credit for this A/B/O AU goes to her and go give her support!!!
Based on this specific scenario
Cw: Heavy angst, medical torture, inaccurate medical things, very little comfort
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Maybe it was the way no one noticed you when you walked into the room that made you think you were normal. Maybe it was the way people around you edged away, put off by your lack of scent. The way everyone looked at you with pity.
You didn't want that. Your entire life you had just wanted to fit in. You wanted to be someone that someone else loved.
Maybe it was your family that was the root of the problem, the ones who separated you from your siblings who were all normal. The family that never let you into their mest, claiming your lack of scent, would destroy the atmosphere. That family ignored you, never responding to you. The ones who left to grasping for a relationship, only to realize you would never have one because you were less.
"I've noticed the way people edge away from me, the way they stare! I'm not normal, and this is my chance!" Desperation edged in your voice. "I just- it would be easier this way!"
Johnny chewed on his lip, "easier for who? We all accept you for you, lad."
"This procedure, it's downright inhumane," Simon adds, his brows furrowed as he looked at you, as if truly seeing /you/ for the first time. The scared child you were, wanting to be normal. "It changes you on a base level - I could kill you, dove. It's barely even out of its testing phase."
You sighed. Weren't you allowed to be selfish for once, to want?
"I know," Your voice is quiet but resolute, mind stuck in its decision. "But I want it."
John looks at you. Kyle looks between you and John, eyes full of nervousness. His arms were crossed, looking down his nose at you.
It reminds you so much of the look your dad would give you, the few times he was forced to interact with you.
"No - I won't allow you to get this procedure," John's voice almost rings in your ears. Out of all of them, you thought he might be able to understand.
Of course you were wrong.
You pull away from them, eyes burning. Your mind was made up, it had been since the moment the idea was out into you.
The pack just looks at you with sad eyes, as if understanding the pain you have lived with. As if they could ever understand the feeling of looking into a world, living in it for short amounts of time, but never really belonging.
~
It's weeks later, but you finally have your appointment. You hadn't told anyone about it, you didn't want them to worry.
It had to be fine, right?
~
It hurt, so bad. Pain sang throughout your body, needles sticking out of your skin, and probes stuck with adhesive. You screamed in pain but no one was coming.
You had checked in alone, even told the nurses you didn't want visitors.
No one soothed the pain like Simon did, no one cooed comforts into your ear like Kyle. John and Johnny weren't there to ground you. You were alone, packless.
And only had yourself to blame.
~
It started out small, the loss of sense in your fingers and toes. The doctors assured you it would come back, even if their voice was condescending. Like talking to a child.
(Simon and Kyle would've tag teamed together to massage feeling back into them - They had once, when you feel through ice on a frozen lake.)
You were constantly tired now, something you chalked up to the amount of tests you had been put through the few days you were checked in.
(John would always purr to help you sleep, a commodity you missed. You wished he was here.)
The hunger was easily explained, the staff did forget to bring you food but you didn't want to bother them. They probably forgot because you still had no scent and were easily overlooked. You didn't blame them.
(Johmny would've never forgot, he was always making sure your plate was piled high.)
~
Everything was blurry now, your sight starting to go. Another temporary side effect someone assured you. You couldn't remember whose voice it was.
But it didn't matter, a scent was starting to form. You were going to be normal soon. And even if your body was in constant flight or fight, you were going to fit in.
The way the doctors were seemingly cruel didn't matter. The way the nurses purposefully took more blood to keep you dizzy and compliant was suddenly okay.
You didn't need to know the more your pack pleaded to be with you, the crueler they were. You didn't need to know it was an enemy in disguise, slowly killing you to get back at your pack. The "scent" was just a chemical by-product of your body reacting to all the medications it was being put through.
It would stay, of-course, you might even present with a second gender if it went on long enough.
You didn't need to know so they didn't tell you.
~
Time was getting hard to keep track of. Your sight was nearly gone, and your wounds were slow to heal. Every day was pain. You started to forget why you checked in.
~
It was harder to move now. Your limbs refused to respond to your commands. They were heavy and your mind was too clouded to question it.
Your scent was turning sickly and almost sweet. As if prepping itself for a reactionary heat.
~
The next time you came to, you didn't know what was happening. You could hear shouting and a monotone sound. You felt like you were floating.
That should worry you, you think.
Eletricity rakes your body suddenly, and you're grounded again. Sightless and unable to move. Pain wracking every thought that appears.
You lose yourself to the inky darkness again. Unable to place the fact that you could smell other's scents now.
~
More shouting. These voices were more familiar. It almost sounded like your pack but that couldn't be right, could it?
Hadn't they left you? Or had you left them? You couldn't remember, your mind too slow. You wanted to know, though.
You're able to force a small whine to leave your throat, the first sound besides screaming you had made in what felt like months. There's loud footsteps as someone rushes to your side.
"It's okay, it's okay, we've got you, lad," a familiar voice says. He smells like the ocean and the smoke that comes after an explosion. You like it, it wraps around you like a blanket. "...christ- look at 'em- what've they done to them?"
"We'll figure it out later, for now, its time to go," Another voice says, roughened by what you can assume is years of smoking. He smells like high-quality cigars and soft cedar wood, like the ones surrounding your house when you grew up. "Guns up, we go out blazing."
A new person picks you up, your body immediately curling into him. He smells like petricor and bourbon, tinged with cigarette smoke. He doesn't say another but you decide you like both of the new scents.
A hand smoothes your hair. The last person, he smells like ozone and the forest. You can't describe it, but his voice is low and soothing when he says, "we'll get you home sweets."
And that's the last thing you know before you lose yourself again. Comforted by people you can't remember but you were obviously important to them.
~
It takes months to heal in a normal hospital. Your sight still hasn't fully returned, but glasses help.
So does your pack. While the procedure somewhat worked, your scent came and went. You were more normal than before and even if everything hurt now and you had to do physical therapy, you felt like you belonged.
When you were first admitted, your body had gone through a heat. It presented as an omega, but that was the only instance of it. The staff had you on regular blockers now until your new hormones stabled out. It felt okay, for now.
That didn't change the hurt and all you went through, but it would be okay.
Especially when you were curled up in a temporary nest with your pack in the hospital.
~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: HELLO PEOPLE! I wrote this on my phone in under an hour so I hope everyone enjoys <3
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beneathsilverstars · 2 days ago
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people are wondering about loop in the au where the party stops siffrin from using the dagger in dormont and the ensuing conversation breaks the loops so let's see...
Siffrin would still want to go see Loop first thing afterwards, but everyone else would be verrry worried about him going off alone. He tries to inconspicuously wander off but Isabeau is immediately like, "Heyy buddy where are you off to? Mind if I come with?" Siffrin feels guilty for selfishly making everyone feel obligated to not leave him alone, and getting them all worried about an issue that isn't even what it looked like. So he's kinda hoping they won't be so worried about him now that they've beat the king and decided to stay together... but he's also afraid that if they stop worrying, they'll decide, okay, no need to stay together after all.
But luckily Siffrin doesn't have to sort all of that out right now, because they know Loop has complicated feelings about the party and doesn't want to see them, so they know they have to go by themself if they want a chance of talking to them.
They try to play it casual, "I'm just going to the favor tree, you don't have to come with me." But two can play at surface-level manners so Isabeau says "I want to, though, it's no trouble!" Siffrin doesn't want to refuse him point-blank, but they really want to talk to Loop... so they go back and forth another time or two before Isabeau's like "Look. You understand why I'm worried about you suddenly going off for no apparent reason, right? On your own, when you've been glued to my side for the last half hour? I... I don't want to stop you,'' (Does that mean that he wouldn't? Or that he would, but he'd be sorry about it?) "but I would feel a lot better about it if you brought someone with you? Doesn't have to be me. Or at least explained why you're going...? Sorry, I know it must be so annoying to have to explain your every move, but... it's been less than a day, since. y'know. And I'd be... I just want you to stay safe."
And oh, Siffrin hates that he's made Isabeau so upset, that he messed up so bad yesterday and that he's making it worse right now, that he's made him so concerned over nothing. So he hesitantly, carefully explains, "There's someone I want to talk to. at the favor tree. I... talked to them there yesterday? And. they might be there again today, but. they definitely won't talk to me if any of you are with me." And, okay, it's reassuring that Siffrin has a reason, and it doesn't even seem he's lying, but. Isabeau can't help but be worried anyway. Especially because this is apparently someone Siffrin talked to at right about the same time that he started acting weird, yesterday? What if this person made Siffrin feel worse, what if they did something that pushed Siffrin over the edge??
But he knows that's edging past reasonable concern into paranoia, so he just asks, "Would it be alright if I walked you to the edge of town at least? Since you're still kinda woozy, and, that way I'll be in earshot if you need me...?" And Siffrin agrees, very relieved to have found a compromise and actually glad for the continued company. And it occurs to them that Isabeau might be less worried about them if they didn't have their dagger on them, and, the day has already been saved... So he gives Isabeau his dagger, along with a promise that he's not gonna do that, and Isabeau does seem happier!
So off they go through Dormont. Isabeau stops farther back on the path just a bit before the bend, where he won't be able to see Siffrin or overhear casual conversation, but could definitely hear a shout and coming running. And Siffrin goes to the tree, and sees the coin, and... twohats ensues! The dialogue is somewhat different, though, because they never did entirely figure it out in the end, did they? They had started learning about wish craft, but Loop hadn't quite connected it yet and of course Siffrin refused to look at their own wish. And then, what a dramatic final loop!
So. More along the lines of, "That was it? Really? You just had to kill yourself in front of them to get everything you ever wanted? To break the loops? To never be alone again? To guilt them into staying forever, because they think you're going to slit your own blinding throat if they let you out of their sight? Sure! Whatever it takes! Never let anyone tell you suicide threats don't work~" and "Do you know how many times I killed myself? How many more times I died?? Did I just not do it right? Wrong time, wrong place? Did I not suffer enough? Was I not selfish enough? What did I do wrong!! Why do you get to escape and not me! I deserve this happy ending, not you!! Why do you get to stay with them and not me!!!"
But, hm. Loop was kinda really raising their voice there at the end, weren't they?
Loop's voice still sounds a bit odd — part inhuman form, part new habit, part intense emotion — but, they're not putting active effort into keeping up the mask right now. Not when they're this upset. Not when Siffrin already knows. And Isabeau hasn't seen Loop yet; he just heard their voice. And a couple of the things that voice said.
So Isabeau makes it around that corner while Loop is speaking more quietly. And then Loop says "STARS, killing you will make me SO HAPPY," and Siffrin reaches for their dagger and freezes as he realizes and remembers it's gone, and Isabeau speeds up, and Loop looks up and see him and freezes too.
And Isabeau says, "Sif?? I thought you promised you weren't going to kill yourself over here???"
Long story short, Loop panics and runs, Siffrin follows while shouting things trying to convince them to come back, so of course Isabeau follows too, and Siffrin almost collapses because they're still craft exhausted. Loop gives up and lets them catch up, and I do mean gives up, they just wanna lay down and die, if you can't go out with a bang there's nothing wrong with a whimper. But Siffrin and Isabeau refuse to leave them there, so they wait around and talk at them, and then run out of things to say and wait some more. Eventually Mirabelle finds them and she's very upset and glad they're okay, and at that point Loop gives up on giving up and quietly follows them back to Dormont, so Siffrin won't get himself more sick and all his friends more worried, staying out in the forest all night.
And so! The party knows who Loop is from the very start, but not anything about the time loops! Just that something very strange must have happened, to end up with two Siffrins and one of them a star.
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maxintime · 11 hours ago
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Hello, I'm sick because my period decided to really fuck me up this time. So i wrote this long essay about tyler on my bed because I've been wanting to sort out my thoughts and feelings towards him and his character. So yeah, here's why people who hate tyler galpin don't get the message of the show Wednesday:
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I'm gonna make a VERY bold claim and say that people who hate tyler galpin just don't understand 'Wednesday'. Because tyler is someone who suffers the most due to the prejudice against outcasts. People fear and despise hydes due to their violent nature. But they can be abused and enslaved by anyone who's evil enough to torture them into submission.
Resulting in them living in secret, for fear of having their entire autonomy and being taken over by someone who could potentially use them for malice.
They are so far the most oppressed beings out of all the outcasts.
The hydes are rejected not only by the normies but by the outcasts as well. Nevermore banned hydes and refused to help them. There are some hints that WillowHill, the so-called "Psychiatric Hospital" is torturing them. They truly have no place to go, and society hates them for who they are.
Now imagine being tyler, you're just a kid, and suddenly your mom got sent to a psychiatric hospital for reasons your father won't tell you. Then she died, and instead of comforting you, your father stopped spending time with you and left you all alone without any explanation, in fear that you'd become like your mother, a monster.
You search for answers, and someday, a woman comes by and says she has everything you could ever ask for. But instead, she tortures you, chains you up in a cave, naked, for months. Unlocks a monster inside of you that you didn't even know you have. Forces you to kill people. You're confused and all alone and can't tell your dad because he hates you
Then your secret gets out to the public, they send you to the same hospital your mom died in. Chains you up, tortures you *again*.
Tyler truly has no one to go to, and as a kid, he must be really scared. Yeah, he seems like he's all tough and evil, but he's just a kid
When you're a kid and you're scared, you act tough as self-preservation. Tyler's "enjoyment of killings" is just a way to protect himself from the extreme abuse he's experiencing.
Wednesday is absolutely against injustice towards minorities and i bet you she'd definitely help tyler, maybe not in the 2nd season, but later down the line. So regardless of whether you are shipping them or not, wednesday *will* come back to help tyler. Because as far as he knows, he has no one. He never had anyone.
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happy-lemon · 9 hours ago
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Just because I feel low right now, it doesn't mean all that I've got has run out. ~ Chet Faker, 2021
We were just a few weeks from the baby's due date, when Nine felt a little off and complained I was mumbling. He went to the doctor, where he discovered he’s losing his hearing—a devastating diagnosis for someone whose whole world has been music.
I keep cycling through the stages of grief, he said. Angry. Sad. Afraid. Wondering if there's something I can do to stop from losing my hearing completely. Telling myself that it's better than losing my sight because not seeing your beautiful face or watching my daughter smile would be hell. But I'm still scared I won't be able to hear our baby laugh for the first time.
I didn't know what to say to him. I thought about my father, who'd been born deaf, and I couldn't help wonder if hearing loss might be a genetic concern, but I couldn't say that. Not now. So I just told him the truth. I'm not sure how to comfort you, I said.
You don't have to comfort me, my love. Just understand that I might not be myself for a while. He pulled me in close. I need time to process and experience all the feelings when I feel them.
Did the doctor give you any kind of prognosis?
It's likely that the loss came on gradually from listening to music too loud with my headphones on, so there's no clear timeline. I might live the rest of my life needing hearing aids, or I might lose my hearing completely, he said.
What about your music?
I guess I'll just keep playing until I can't anymore and...who knows, maybe I'll be the next Beethoven, or maybe I'll take up painting or woodworking or cross-stitch.
I giggle a little at that mental image and Nine smiles gently. All that really matters is my family. As long as I have you, I can handle this.
I'm not going anywhere, I said. Not in this lifetime.
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channiesunshinx · 13 hours ago
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𝐹𝓇𝒾(𝑒𝓃𝒹)𝓈
Day 2 of Jeongin's birthday week fanfics
Pairing: Jeongin x F!reader Genre: Fake dating, friends to lovers, drama, angst, romance, fluff, Idol!jeongin x idol!reader Warning: Media pressure, emotional conflict
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Jeongin leaned back against the plush sofa in the dimly lit party hall, taking in the music, the chatter, and the drinks flowing freely around him. It wasn’t his scene, but the other members of Stray Kids had convinced him to come. And, honestly, there was someone here he wanted to see—Y/N.
Y/N was a member of a newly rising girl group- Astral, known for her captivating voice and stunning stage presence. They'd met during a variety show, and while they hadn't spent much time together, there was something about her that kept Jeongin intrigued. They'd talked a few times, hung out at industry events, and became friends.
But that night, their friendship was about to take an unexpected turn.
The paparazzi were always lurking, but Jeongin hadn't thought much of it as Y/N slipped beside him, laughing lightly at something one of the other idols had said. It was natural, comforting even, and Jeongin couldn't help but feel at ease in her company. They were talking, just as friends, when suddenly, flashes erupted.
Jeongin froze, but Y/N was quick to grab his hand, pulling him toward a more secluded area. The reporters didn't seem to care—they were all too eager to capture the story. Jeongin, now holding her hand as they dashed away, could feel his heart race, but not from the excitement of escaping the paparazzi. Something about their closeness felt... different. He didn't have much time to analyze it as they quickly found refuge in a corner behind some curtains, out of sight from the cameras.
“I think they got us,” Y/N said breathlessly, still holding his hand. She glanced up at him, and their eyes met. “This is not good.”
Jeongin could only nod. They both knew the consequences of getting caught in a compromising situation like this. But Y/N, always the professional, quickly thought of a solution.
“Let's just say we're dating,” she suggested, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “It's easier to control the narrative that way.”
Jeongin blinked in shock. “What?”
“I mean, they'll keep running with whatever they want, but at least if we say we're a couple, it won't spiral out of control.”
He hesitated. It felt wrong, but Y/N was right. With the media so eager to make up stories, their best bet was to take control. And so, they made a quick decision that night: they would fake date.
Weeks passed, and the media didn't stop. Every sighting, every conversation, every shared glance between Jeongin and Y/N was turned into a headline. “Stray Kids’'Jeongin and Astral's Y/N: K-pop's New Power Couple!” the articles would say, showing off their supposed love story with carefully crafted pictures that made the world believe they were inseparable.
At first, Jeongin had simply gone along with it. Y/N had a natural charm about her, and they were, after all, friends. It wasn’t so bad pretending to be in a relationship, even if it was for the cameras. But soon, Jeongin couldn't deny the feelings stirring in his chest. Every touch, every shared moment, seemed to make his heart beat faster. What was once an innocent ruse had slowly turned into something more—something Jeongin didn't understand.
Then came the argument.
It had been a small thing at first—misunderstandings, petty disagreements, and stress piling up. But suddenly, it escalated. They were backstage after a joint performance, both exhausted, their nerves frayed, and one comment turned into another.
“You don't get it, Jeongin!” Y/N snapped, her voice sharp. “I'm not doing this because I want to be with you—I'm doing it for our careers!”
Jeongin's chest tightened, and the words tumbled out before he could stop them. “Then why do you act like you want to be with me, huh? Why does it feel like you're doing this for more than just the media?”
Y/N froze, eyes wide, then a bitter laugh escaped her lips. “So, you think it's real? That we're actually... this?”
Jeongin's face flushed. “You're the one who suggested it. But now you're acting like I'm the one who's confused?”
They both stood there in silence, tension thick between them. Jeongin could feel his pulse racing, but Y/N just turned away, shaking her head. “I don't want to do this anymore.”
“Do what?” Jeongin asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“This whole... fake thing. I don't want to be your friend if it's like this. I just can't anymore, Jeongin.”
Her words hit him harder than he expected, like a punch to the gut. He wanted to reach out, to tell her he didn't know what was happening, that he didn't want to lose her, but he didn't know how. Before he could say anything else, she walked off, leaving Jeongin standing alone with his racing thoughts.
Later that night, Jeongin found himself pacing in the Stray Kids dorm, unable to shake the feeling that everything was slipping through his fingers. He needed advice—he needed someone to make sense of this mess.
The other members were scattered around the living room, some on their phones, some playing video games. But Jeongin went straight to Bang Chan, his leader, his friend.
“Hyung,” Jeongin began, his voice low, “I think I've messed up.”
Chan looked up from his phone, sensing the seriousness in Jeongin's tone. “What's going on?”
“I... I think I'm in love with Y/N,” Jeongin admitted, his heart pounding. “But everything's a mess. We’re supposed to be faking it for the media, but I can't stop thinking about her. And now she's mad at me.”
Chan nodded slowly, his expression softening. “Jeongin, I think you've been in love with her for a while now. But it's complicated, right? You need to be honest with yourself first. If you care about her, don't wait for the perfect moment—just tell her how you feel.”
The words hit Jeongin like a wave. He had been so focused on the fake relationship, so caught up in the public image, that he hadn' realized he was already in love. With Y/N.
That night, Jeongin couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about her—her smile, the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed, the way her hand felt in his. He realized that he didn't want to just be her friend anymore.
He gathered the courage, grabbed his coat, and left for her apartment. He wasn't going to let this fear hold him back anymore.
Y/N wasn't expecting a knock at her door at 2 a.m., but when she opened it, there stood Jeongin, looking both nervous and determined.
“I'm sorry,” he said before she could speak, his voice shaking. “I don't want to be just your friend. I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for a while now. And I don't care about the media, I don't care about anything. I just want you.”
Y/N stared at him, her heart racing. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Jeongin's confession hung in the air, raw and vulnerable, and for the first time in a long while, Y/N didn't feel like a public figure. She felt like herself—just Y/N, the girl Jeongin cared about.
“I—” she began, but Jeongin stepped closer, taking her hands in his.
“I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it,” he said quietly. “But now that I do, I don't want to hide it anymore.”
Tears welled in Y/N’s eyes as she pulled him into a hug. “Me too,” she whispered against his shoulder. “Me too.”
And in that moment, with the weight of their secret lifted, Jeongin and Y/N knew they weren't just pretending anymore. They were in love—finally, and for real.
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Taglist: @mihoonz, @toasty0703, @lplondynnwoo, @loxgirl2004
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michellejonesgf · 1 day ago
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come on, live a little • patrick zweig x reader
pairing: patrick zweig x fem!reader
synopsis: patrick hasn't been kissed in a while. and so he asks for a kiss.
words: 1087
warnings: written in second person, pat zweig being persistent (he wants a kiss so bad) (not in a creepy way, you and him have a good friendship), hinge mention (author does NOT know how dating apps work), friends to lovers!
a/n: wrote this during a quick writing session in between study sessions, hope you like this <3
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“hey can i ask you a favour.”
“nope.”
“if you were a really good friend.”
“good thing i’m not that.”
“you would really care about me.”
“pat, i don’t have time for this.”
“can you kiss me?"
and with those eyes so wide, so beautiful, who are you to say no?
“i haven’t been kissed in so long.”
patrick zweig has never been big on emotional vulnerability. he prefers to hide behind a veil of cheeky remarks and flirts with a mission, but laughter is all he expects even when he does happen to make a joke or two with personal anecdotes.
“did art put you up to this? or tashi?”
a part of his heart seizes at this. did you really not believe that someone could ache after you? or did it stem beyond that? did you not want this?
he says your name, “it’s already so embarrassing, you think they have that much of a hold over me?”
you shrug, looking anywhere but his eyes. your heart won’t accept its sincere but if you see even a glimmer of amusement in his eyes you will never be able to speak to him normally again.
“oh, i know they have a different kind of hold on you.”
“i don’t want to talk about them right now.”
“then don’t.”
patrick’s at the end of his rope. and he’s never at the end of rope, at least not in this way.
“the other day you said ‘what’s a little kiss between friends’. you know nothing’s going to change, or whatever.”
“is this how you get everyone to kiss you? no wonder you’ve been, what was it, thirty people in the last–”
“–don’t be mean.”
you feel bad. and you did say that a little kiss between one’s closest friends only makes the friendship stronger. but you also said that to tashi. who you don’t currently have feelings for (although art would say that’s debatable). maybe you should do this, be a good friend. “you really want a kiss, huh?” you squint your eyes at him.
“i don’t want to make you feel weird–”
“what about hinge?”
“what about it?”
the pause tells you all you need to know. "you got banned, didn't you?"
he averts his gaze, voice a bit smaller than before, "no i didn't".
he huffs and turns to you, eyes focused into yours, desperately peering, "do you not want to kiss? i won't bother you if its making you uncomfortable."
you think it's now or never. take a chance, risk it and hope that you can salvage what's left of your friendship over the next six months. art and tashi would understand right, they'd help you through it?
you lean closer to him, and slowly bring your hands to his face, cupping each cheek gently with each hand. you look into his eyes, smiling, "i'm going to need you to put on a shirt first."
he springs up and you hear the shuffle of his feet as he walks towards the bed. you smile at how he's quick to come back.
he sits back on the floor, just the way you both were a minute ago and you resume the position of your hands cradling his face.
“patrick zweig,” you say smiling.
“yes?” his voice is hesitant, he doesn’t know if you’re going to make fun of him or–
“can i kiss you?”
“please.”
you lean in and give his lips a slight feather-like touch with your own. neither party pulls away, both with closed eyes and held breaths. you make a decision. you lean in once more and press a kiss that feels more real this time. he kisses back but its so soft your heart melts at the thought that this could be something.
you try some more pressure and one of your hands goes to the back of his neck to pull him a bit closer. you’ve never felt this tingly while giving someone a kiss, you wonder if a friendship this deep makes it more special. if knowing someones hidden threads and tending to their bruised split knuckles when they try not to cry grants a special warmth to any potential future romantic dalliances with that person that sours any other romantic experience with someone else forever.
the leverage that your hand on his neck gives you feels dizzying because in this moment he is yours to hold and to kiss. you feel his palm in the small of your back, barely there, a bit more than ghosting. a deepened kiss, lips slotting between each other that meet for a moment only to slot a different way and you deign that enough. you both halt with your lips so close yet so apart.
you look into his eyes, from that so-close-so-apart distance and every resolve you had to stay civil dissolves. he looks at you and you feel dishonest and–
“i’ve liked you since that weekend at the basketball court.”
“i deleted hinge three months ago.”
so he was telling the truth.
a patrick zweig in love practices emotional vulnerability and tells the truth. who would’ve thought.
“so this isn’t just a kiss between friends?” as much as you don’t want to a smile creeps and lifts your cheeks so much there’s no way you can do a bit.
“come on, i just told my best friend i like her!”
“you didn’t tell me any of that.”
“well, the way you kiss told me that.”
“well, i also kiss your mother like that, if that helps.”
he holds your face the way that you were holding his just a few minutes ago, “will you stop seeing my mother and let me be your boyfriend, please?”
“come on, live a little, its the 21st century!” but your heart is beating so fast you cannot bring yourself to answer earnestly.
patrick’s smile turns toothy and you wonder what it would be like to taste the inside of his mouth.
“did you really save yourself for months so that you could kiss me?”
“you know how traditional i am.” this is the same patrick who kissed art to get him to stop talking that is now kissing you, and saving himself to do so.
“can we do that again but with tongue?”
“yes, director.”
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starflungwaddledee · 1 year ago
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been working on answering a prompt i received in an ask the other day, and so i'm back thinking about... the Thing... 💖🎀 and thought maybe prompt doodles might help me work through this a little?
so uhhh.... if by any wild chance anyone has any ship suggestions for starstruck...??? feel free to send them through!
#this is *only* for starstruck and is not general requests! i'm just trying to figure out how i feel about this 😳#obviously no guarantees that i will be confident enough to draw any of these or that i'll enjoy them all but i just... am considering it?#idk idk idk is this stupid....#hope i won't regret this or won't get genuinely weirdass things.#just to be transparent this is sfw exclusively tho implied flirting is a-okay. please don't be weird....? i'm trusting folks to be nice!!#i would also happily take little prompts if you have thoughts about how it would work or whichever! like if you're a character Understander#if you have an idea how it would Work or what it might Be Like that would also help me to get a concept on how i feel about it!!#also i would.. consider ocs (only from their creator) if you... wanna??? character+artist *must* be an adult. starstruck is in her early 30#also with ocs preferably from folks who i've at least interacted with before and like.. not just bc u want art ;;;#like... do u geniunely think they could have a cute dynamic? i'm just wondering if she could be Cute w someone. AUUghhGHHHH#again no promises and also for now i need this all done on the assumption it's just for fun!! just funsies. i'm just... thinking i guess!#want to try and figure out what it might be like if she WAS involved in a little ship/romo space...? as a treat? auughghhggghGHGLLG#also fair warning i may just get super embarrassed/nervous about this all and delete!! but i'm.. yknow. trying!#also i figure you can kind of tell my faves and who i hardly know much about. might not have lots of feelings about most side chars!#delete later#probably#wheeeeeEEEEeeahahahah okay;;; just post it. just post it starflung. just do it. hit the button hit the button hit the b
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immortalsins · 1 month ago
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trying to get work done today is like. lets learn how to do inverse kinematics for my robot. whats the general form of the matrix again. does my mother deserve to suffer a period of me distancing myself from her. will i survive doing that. what order am i cascading these matrices in
#helpppppp im a bit numb and very lost#i want to leave really bad rn#but there are some things at my mums i need to get first#and i can't just run off without speaking to her#absolutely not doing this over the phone but i'm so exhausted from last night i can't stand another argument#don't want to cry anymore as well fjdbdjf my eyes hurt#dad's friend dug up a tree that was causing problems in the garden today#found a hibernating snake#they tried to put it somewhere safe#and i was thinking wow cool hope it survives . how do i love my mum now tho#it's like that's all there is !!! and ive got exams ripppp#seriously thinking of postponing this year and finishing it next year because idk how i'm going to handle it#when it gets any more stressful than it is right now#will at least apply for some kind of special considerations for these exams#maybe i can get my marks boosted but ive only known that to happen when family members die#but my dad could kill himself#that wasn't just an anxious irrational fear of mine#and idk i feel like that should qualify me for a bit of help#because how do i sit here and act like uni matters it DOESNT#<- is 3rd year engineering#lmao#i need someone here to say girl shut up and solve ur robots#.......... my mum? ha#i need to talk to her its new years eve i was going to stay with her tomorrow#if i don't tell her i know then she won't understand why i'm not replying but how tf do i word that message#i don't want to tell her to her face that i know#fuckkk i dont want to hurt her#i'm not even angry i'm just so sad and idk what to do to stop it
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wild-at-mind · 1 year ago
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I feel like tags like these were inevitable on the post about people traumatising themselves for the greater good or w/e... There is SO much emphasis on posting on tumblr and other social media being so important and so useful and we must never stop. But I would like to counterargue with the idea that posting on social media (especially tumblr) constantly does very little/nothing. If that was true then the point here becomes meaningless.
#i guess i must be broken according to this person because i don't seem to feel emotions the way they feel helps palestine#activists in palestine are also calling for a general strike where no one goes to work and that has yet to materialise in a meaningful way#because people keep watering it down by saying 'oh it's ok just post constantly/about nothing else than palestine on social media'#yeah awesome great- look i'm sure there are people in palestine saying get the word out about our suffering etc#but they are also calling for more meaningful symbolic gestures like strikes which as far as I know no western country has delivered#because that would take a lot of organising and much less guilt tripping and people spending all their time posting#and comfort always comes up- comfort and discomfort- what even is comfort?#is feeling ok in your own mind an insult to palestine?#are there people losing everything in wars feeling better because someone in the west feels really really bad about their pain?#like sorry to be facetious but what on earth does any of this rhetoric accomplish#i spent years thinking like this and it made me so sick and now i'm better i am DONE with it- i cannot go back to this thinking#i can only live if i bend away from this kind of thinking like a plant to light- and i want to help others but people just won't stop#please- post on social media if you like. it doesn't help anyone to view the depths of their pain and feel bad#it is better to look towards hope a ceasefire and a resolution and end to the killing of palestinians for good#that can happen!!!#i think avoiding misinformation and dehumanising rhetoric about either side is also very important#i fully believe you can only understand geopolitics and war if you see everyone as human
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gender-euphowrya · 7 months ago
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my therapist telling me i'm his point of reference when he deals with other trans patients
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#👉👈 it's an honor m'lord#i mean that + the fact that i make sure to always feed him the Most open-minded takes i can incorporate in conversation#like just today he was like ''i wanted to ask you about this i saw there were women growing beards and deciding to keep them''#and i was like. yeah that's a thing ! good for them ! if they're happy that way it's all good !#and he was like ''isn't it kinda weird though like they're really feminine but they have a beard which is usually masculine?''#and i was like hmm! not really ! it's just not something we're used to seeing so it can seem odd at first but it's harmless!#and he went Yeah you're right maybe it just seemed weird to me because it's unusual#and i like mentally went 😎🤏 got'em. teaching this guy to be okay with other people one topic at a timeeeee#in any case it's just. really cool to know that like... i'm indirectly helping other trans folks ?#at the same time i want to make sure he understands that My personal experience with being trans isn't universal#it's not ''This is how you trans'' like. what's working for me rn may not work for someone else and it's fine#so i always make sure to throw in little reminders that every trans person will want different things for themselves#some will need medical transitions some Won't some will need ''all'' surgeries some Won't some will need them done quickly some Won't#some will feel This way about their egg selves some will feel That way about their egg selves etc#simultaneously Yes please do use your experience working with me to work with other trans people#but No please don't think they are all going to be like me or should do things the way i did them
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I think I've been touchy lately about my feelings of access to/participation in generativity. I've been feeling really overwhelmed lately by how much needs doing and how much disparate but necessary information I'm keeping in my head. I should probably get back into my thought maps for the work on the yard and house, because I think that will make it easier for me to empty my head when I'm not actively trying to work on something.
#i'm feeling a sinking recognition that i need to build a life for myself that's functional#even if it means accepting norms that i have been trying to cight for a long time in my relationships#boundaries are weird and hard and i've never been particularly good at them#but if the comversations i have with my clients are anything to go by#i have a solid understanding of how to identify and communicate them#i just don't seem to have the will to stand by my decision when push comes to shove#so people around me carry on doing what they've always done#and going all shocked pikachu face when i finally collect myself enough to remind them exactly how i feel about their behavior#oh i have no idea you felt like this!!!#why are you so angry and snappish all the time?????#i just don't have any idea what else you expect from me i already spend all my time thinking about what i expect you to expect of me?#what do you mean that's not the same thing as actually having open lines of communication with me and treating me like awhole fuckin person#i work so hard not to take my frustration out on anyone#to be kind and calm and clear when I talk#to love the things about them that i love and enjoy the time with them that i enjoy without feeling compelled to seek disappointment#asking for more or different just won't happen so what's the point of looking to feel hurt#and i do have a lot of different areas of my life that fulfill different needs of mine#so i understand that i'm lucky and should really probably accept that i am much less alone than I often feel#i just wish i had someone in my life who was both willing and able to see all of me with affection#or at least. someone who was willing and able to take on that role and who I am willing and able to trust with the role#therapy helps#my new therapist is nice and seems open and understanding#but i understand our relationship probably better than most patients given the circumstances#i know how important it is that she never be more than a facilitator of space in my life#she seems good at doing that and i appreciate having the space again#i don't really know what i want anymore but i know i'm tired of feeling unwelcome in my wholeness of self
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medicinemane · 6 months ago
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Anyway, hope you're all doing well
I just... I haven't slept and also I've got like... 2-4 days of tumblr to catch up on... mostly to make sure I don't lose anything I want to keep requeuing
In many ways I'm probably doing better than I have been in a long time... maybe ever, but... I've got zero focus, I can barely watch youtube videos, I certainly can't play games... I can't get myself to clean... I don't know man
It's like... it's like my mind's empty except for some thick clear goopy sludge... it's like being over at a strange house sat alone in a big room waiting for people to come back... not wanting to touch anything so you just sit there staring and feeling out of sorts, except it's just constant in my own house in my own room... just saw Bart flop down in front of my door and realized I'm so out of it I forgot I had cats
It's like I'm living every moment in the moment, but not in a peaceful way, in a I'm untethered from reality and trying to figure out plans or how to deal with getting everything sorted out is just kinda painful kinda way
Then my mood... well... I kinda have no mood. I'm fucking numb if I'm honest. I have flavor opinions like "I'm worthless and should kill myself", but I actually don't even feel depressed right now, I feel nothing
I don't see much point to my future even if everything goes great, and I would like to kill myself, but I have zero interest in even considering it right now even though I have everything I need around if I just stand up and take a single step
So... much as it probably sounds like I'm just pure in the trash right now, I'm actually in many ways probably doing better than I ever have before... I'm just also real messed up right now at the same time
I don't feel hopeful, I never feel hopeful, but I do feel like I can maybe guide shit into a good position, it's just once again I figure that even if I do everything I want to with being able to help other people out and stuff, I'll still just kinda end up alone in a crowd
You know... funny thing is I'm thinking "the fuck is even the point I wanted to make?", and I realize... my point was actually that I'm doing pretty good and not to worry... not sure how well I'm selling it, but it's true
I hesitate to assign anything to myself, my stance on me and anything I can't conclusively say tends to be no comment... but if I were looking at someone else describing what I'm feeling in my position, I might be inclined to say burnout... months of having to be on and clean and manage everything and... all that... well it's one explanation, who knows if it's correct
Anyway though, I'm good, don't worry, know I do appreciate you all and wish I had more brain power to say more to more people... it's just maybe kinda sad that this is my version of doing good... the fuck is wrong with me if I wake up everyday feeling like I've been beaten with clubs... and for me this is kinda peak... what's that say about my baseline?
Doesn't matter, only thing to do is keep moving forward
Guess insomnia paired with not really being able to think, like words just kinda pop out with no planning... guess it makes me ramble real bad, this was supposed to be like one or two paragraphs being positive
It's a Beautiful World
#mm tag so i can find things later#to be clear; I'm referencing the Devo song; and if you know the song... that's kinda a negative thing to say#it's a beautiful world... for you... it's not for me#that's the sentiment I express when I say that; just to avoid confusion... though... confusion I can't deny is also kinda the point#I like hiding things in plain sight; I like lies of omission#...but also... is it so bad to try and let people think I'm being more positive than I am seeing as people have a problem with how I am?#makes them sad; you know?#I'm not even meaning to be negative; I'm just trying to lay out my thoughts so people don't have to read my mind#I think people will probably read this and take it as extremely negative but... it more just is#my brain feels broken right now... that's not meant as doom and gloom... just a statement of fact#people always seem to worry about me... but... they kinda... worry about the wrong stuff#...they kinda... it's like if someone was really worried cause I skinned my knee and it looked real gross but was pretty surface#and I just couldn't get them to stop focusing on that and listen to the fact I had internal bleeding and that was much worse#it's not the fact I want to kill myself that's the problem; it's not that I can often be melancholic#it's all the systemic issues going on... the isolation; the... never feeling like I succeed... that kinda thing; you know?#the money and the getting things stabilized#even if life goes perfect and I even somehow get the stuff I think is literally impossible for me to get that I want so bad#...good chance I'll still be kind of melancholic#...but would that really be so bad? if I was just a little glum when it came to me?#despite the fact that with everything that's not me I say 'lets just keep moving forward and change what we can'?#despite the fact I tend to have a very upbeat... lets not dwell on the past; lets see how we can fix the now kinda mindset?#despite the fact I think I must seem a bit stupid and bumbling in person cause I always tend to be kinda 'it is what it is'?#just because I think bad thoughts and you hear how I think on here... my actions aren't enough to outweigh that?#clean all that shit; but I dare to not like myself very much... seems like weighing the two I really am just negative or whatever; eh?#and by god always make sure to tell me to get a therapist even though I'm both working on that and also it won't fix me#if therapy fixed me I'd be fixed at like 14; it's systemic shit; like I said... therapist can just help a bit#...what I really need is for more people to turn towards me a bit more... 20% of the time even... nah I don't want to elaborate#I don't want to phrase that the more understandable way; I want everyone to... miss it... I can't stand to be seen and then ignored... agai#wish people would worry a little less about me and help a little more... mostly by just being company#can't a body fall down stairs in peace? you know?
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shataarooj · 6 days ago
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‼️ Humanitarian Appeal from the Depths of Suffering🥹‼️
✅ Vetted by @lavalampadvocate -vetted link
✅ Vetted by @karlmarxmaybe - vetted link
✅ Vetted by @jolyne-best-jojo vetted link
First of all :
I'm Areej I was an English teacher before war and everything change after October 7. Also I'm a creative writer at we are not numbers.
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Also I am a mother of three children. We have lived through the war for a year and a half, and we have lost everything we own. My husband is a man who did not work before the war and even now. And I lost my job in teaching because of the current situation, the school was destroyed and many of my poor students was died by the missiles 😭
So i did not have a breadwinner or any source of income . But I didn't give up to teach so I volunteered to teach some students near my camp in IBM Rushed school. There where many family were displaced from the north of Gaza. Actually it was a good chance for me to know more people and to try to engage students with English after this bad war. I held many activities with the for fun and learning and they were happy for this great chance so I hope to return to have my project to enable more students to engage with my voluntury work. I hope you help me and understand my holy target for helping students in their education. 🙏🙏🙌💯
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Your help also will also help me in rebuilding my own family home.
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Today, after the war, the truce has entered its first phase in Gaza, and I now live in a tent and do not have a house after it was destroyed by missiles. I now ask you to help me rebuild my house. And buy basics for the daily essentials for my children and I need money so that we can stand up again and start again.
This war wasn't easy at all it has taken many friends at work, students and some of my colleagues at the university. They are almost ten souls I won't never forget . Their laughter, their presence, their love… all of it is gone, leaving behind memories that are both precious and painful. Every day, I carry the weight of their loss, but I also carry their spirit, which gives me the strength to keep going.
Ours daily suffering in this bad war 😭🥺
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Here’s what life in Gaza looks like for my family right now in tents when it rain
🏠 Safety: The uncertainty of tomorrow weighs heavily on us.
😢 Loss: The absence of my students and my friends is really hurts.
💔 Dreams on Hold: The future feels so far away when survival takes all our strength.
Life : it becomes harder
How You Can Help Us Cross the Finish Line
Even the smallest act of kindness can make a difference:
. $5 might not seem like much, but it could mean a meal, clean water, or a tiny bit of hope for my family.
. Can’t donate? Reblog this post to help us reach someone who can. Every share matters more than you know.
Why Your Support Matters
Your kindness isn’t just about helping us meet our goal—it’s about reminding us that we’re not alone in this fight. It’s about hope. It’s about survival. And it’s about giving my family a chance to rebuild our lives, even in the face of unimaginable loss. Also I need to rebuild my future and to start building my project to teach students who are in need so my friend it will be great from you to help you this war destroy everything and many schools here in Gaza
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Please help my future to be better and give me hope again with your humanity and passionate everything can come true 🙏❤️
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I'm looking forward seeing this smile again on my students faces. I'm so optimistic and so thrilled to see you be part for this humane deed ❤️🙏
Share and boost this to more people you know and who cares about innocent children and education around the world 👇🥺
With all of my respect Areej ❤️🙏
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cosmiicfairy · 1 year ago
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🗑
#man this was the first time in a long time i cried that hard and felt that defeated in therapy#Everything came to a head after all the bullshit with neurology and the car loan stuff and i was completely honest with my therapist#i had such a massive breakdown because I'm just so exhausted#I can barely function beyond work and it's killing me#I don't know how to express to people and make them understand that i can't keep this up#i am killing myself just from work alone#The house is always trashed. my hygiene has been awful#i barely have the energy to talk to people let alone friends i care about#i have been having so many issues breathing this week it's like there's a weight on my chest that's sometimes accompanied by chest pain#And I know I should go see someone about it but what's the point? they're not going to listen to me#if i go to urgent care they're gonna tell me to follow up with my doctor. my doctor won't see patients for 2+ months out#i feel like I'm getting worse and worse and i don't see a light at the end of the tunnel#i can't do this anymore#i don't want to keep living through all of this anymore but i have no choice#there's only so much therapy in the world that can help when at its core i am not made to function in this world#there's only so much therapy that can help combat the fact that the world at large is so fucking awful and we can't fix it because of#politics and billionaires who ruin everything#these were supposed to be the best years of my life and i feel like i am a third party. an npc#anyway#vent //#long tags
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lenaswritingandstuff · 5 months ago
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Dating the Slytherin boys (+ Harry) ▪ HEADCANONS
Requested: No
Characters: Mattheo Riddle, Tom Riddle, Theodore Nott, Draco Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, Regulus Black, Harry Potter (+ y/n)
Warnings: NSFW mentions, English is not my first language
A/N: I'm not sure I like this but here we go. However I have to say I like Regulus' one so I might turn his version into a one shot one day (when uni won't be killing me slowly). This will include also the pre-dating/flirting stage as well. SORRY FOR THE TYPOS. Comments and feedback are always appreciated. Enjoy! ^^
Tag list: @helendeath @im-jesus
Tag list for this story: @anawritez-posts @pumpkinchee @alwayslatetothefandoms
Mattheo Riddle:
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His feelings for you probably confused him at first 
If he falls first, he either won’t let you know or will do everything to get your attention (‘Hey, y/n, come sit here, the seat is free!”, “y/n, do you mind helping me with the homework for Snape? I can’t bloody do it”, “How about we go to Hogsmeade, just you and me?”, “you look beautiful, y/n”)
Your love for him always calms him when he gets anxious or when he’s upset, especially after his father comes back
Will tell you things he never told anyone
Would rather spend time with you than with his friends
Is terrified something will happen to you because of his father 
VERY jealous, but trusts you
Despite easily getting angry, he can’t get mad at you. Even during arguments 
LOVES sleeping in your arms or when you just hold him
He's crazy about your body
Loves showering with you, and we both know how it often ends
HOT, passionate sex
Will randomly eat you out without expecting anything in return (doesn't mind if you return the favor, though)
100% calls you "baby" or "love" all the time
Doesn’t care about what anyone thinks of him as long as you love him
Your love makes him feel lighter and stronger
You're his whole world
Feels bad when he hears someone criticize you for dating him 
Always makes sure you don’t overwork yourself, and makes sure you get enough sleep, water and food, and comforts you when you're anxious
Holds your hands when he's anxious or stressed
Will listen to anything you have to say 
Crazy about your perfume
Theodore Nott:
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Struggles to express his love or feelings in general, at least in the beginning 
Has never done serious relationships before, and it may cause some trouble in your relationship, as you end up believing he doesn’t care about you
It causes many fights, and the last one will be the first time he says ‘I love you’
Always goes to you for comfort 
Loves sleeping with you in his arms, or cuddling, and with time he can’t sleep without you
Loves watching you sleep 
Loves having you on his lap
Always gets you great gifts (even randomly)
“Well, it thought it was pretty, and…it reminded me of you.”
Will fight any guy who is rude to you or acts like a creep 
Very jealous (trusts you, doesn’t trust others)
Doesn’t mind PDA at all, will gladly hold your hand or kiss you in public
Always has a hand on your waist or his arm around your shoulders 
Very supportive in everything you do, even when he doesn’t understand it/isn’t really interested in it
Isn’t very good with comforting people (mostly because he's not used to it), but will hold you and listen to you as long as you need, can even give you advice/reassurance 
Every compliment/'I love you' you say melts his heart and means much more to him than he shows, same goes for anything you do for him
Loves doing fun things, even if it’s just throwing snowballs at each other during winter (which ends in loving kisses, just savouring the joy of being together)  
Love getting in a pool with you and playing "childish" games during summer
Any form of intimacy means A LOT to him 
He's used to hooks up and "fucking" but it takes him a bit of time to have sex with you (despite being crazy about you and your body) because you mean everything to him and with you it's really making love instead of just "fucking"
The first time is loving and slow yet passionnate (eye contact at all times, hands holding, desperate kisses from him), and it gets a bit rougher and passionate the next times (but aftercare, which he isn't used to, is always on point and keeps getting better)
Is secretly very insecure, and is terrified you will leave him (especially for another “better” guy) 
Craves your touch and your love but won’t admit it
His boggart is probably you being dead alongside his mother
Will tell you sweets things in Italian
Very clingy in private - and also in public with time
With you he learns to be happier and discovers a happier side of himself he didn't know he had
Loves you much more than he actually shows at first 
Will often say you're all he has (and means it)
But with time, you have no reason to doubt his love and he’s the perfect boyfriend
Blaise Zabini:
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Probably will court you like the gentleman he is
He doesn’t trust people easily and might be a little distant (while always polite and kind) in the early stages of your relationship 
But with time he becomes very warm and smiles a lot
Always kisses the top of your hand or your forehead 
Doesn’t do much PDA except for holding hands and kisses on your forehead
However in private he’ll 100% cuddle you and hold you
Dates in parks or restaurants  
Get you flowers at least once a month
Will always defend you against others 
One of his love languages is acts of service
Lorenzo Berkshire:
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You either were friends before dating or he fell in love with you at first sight, there is no in between
Takes you on fun dates (arcade, funfair, theme parks) 
Can be shy at the beginning, which will make it a bit hard for him to talk about how he feels about you
Movie nights where you two eats lots of snacks and sweets while cuddling 
Always smiles when you enter a room
So supportive 
Loves when you're on his lap
He has no problem with PDA
Quickly willing to meet your family if you agree
He’s a great listener and mostly gives good advices 
Loves taking naps with you 
Always makes you sure you get enough sleep, water and food
Won’t let you get yourself into dangerous situations
Loves to go anywhere with you, no matter the activity and even if he just follows you around 
Many pet names
If you're Muggleborn or grew up among Muggles, he will totally ask you questions about the muggle world
Passionnate sex, will get rough if he hasn't seen you in a long time or if it's angry sex after he got jealous
His aftercare is the best, and he's always thankful you trust him enough to have that form of intimacy with him
Draco Malfoy:
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Won’t flirt at first with you but keeps wanting your attention
Tries to seduce you with expensive gifts, and is a bit taken aback when you say it doesn’t work
Continues to get you gifts, but will make sure they match your interests/tastes, and keeps expensive gifts for your birthdays and Christmas (even though he’d like to get them all year for you) 
At first he doesn't show any weakness in your presence
With you he’ll learn patience and to focus of more positive things, and also to stand up to his father
Takes you on dates every chance he gets
Will ditch his friends to spend time with you
Probably makes Crabbe and Goyle carry your bags or do things for you
So proud to be dating you, it might even make him more arrogant
Gets grumpy when jealous but after a kiss on the cheek he’s back to his normal self 
Will invite you to his home and write you nearly every day during holidays
Hates it when Harry or any Gryffindor boy tries to talk to you
Surprisingly has no problem with PDA
Loves when you come to see him play during Quidditch matches
Tom Riddle:
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Oh boy
It started with him admiring/watching you from afar, for a reason he can’t understand
SUPER confused by what he feels for you and why
Will probably try to get closer to you through homework or through books if he sees you read one
Will know everything about you, and will secretly follow you, saving you if you’re in danger with you never knowing who saved you
Crazy about your perfume, so much so that it makes him steal one of your clothes just to be able to smell it anytime he wants
After a while, he’ll spend most of his time with you without ever admitting he likes it
Will probably let you know his feelings for you after he cast a spell on a guy for being a creep with you 
Won’t let another man touch you
Will ask Mattheo for advice to be better or to make you fall in love with him
Will do your homework without hesitation, even if he pretends that he hates it, and will leave explanations so you understand his answers/his work
No PDA except for holding hands or your hand under his arm, but will make sure to stay close to you at all times 
Is a surprisingly good listener 
VERY jealous, but surprisingly isn’t mad or suspicious at you
“Did you enjoy having his attention? Do you wish for me to show you how my attention is better?” 
He doesn't stress over homework or stuff like that, so he finds it ridiculous when you do (learns with time to be more understanding)
Will let flowers in your room with a note on it
Pretends to not care about the gifts you get him for his birthday or Christmas but it actually means so much to him as no one ever got him any gifts before 
Nothing the others say about him gets to him, but he gets angry when he hears someone say that you deserve better than him
As book!Tom who grew up in an orphanage: he's secretly insecure about his background and the fact that he’s poor, and thinks you deserve better 
As Voldemort: Might be torn between continuing his goals for power or spending a simple life with you; is aware you’ll leave him if he gets on a darker path 
As Voldemort’s son: would do everything to protect you from his father, and if he’s forced to get the Dark Mark, he will makes sure you don’t know 
Possessive kisses 
Would hurt anyone who does you wrong
Borrows money from Draco to take you on dates or to get you gifts, as he feels like you deserve the nicest things, even though you keep telling him his mere presence is enough
May feel a little bit guilty that he can’t properly show you his love like “normal” boyfriends do 
Won’t admit it but considers you the only good thing in his life, and if he ever lost you he’d get on a dark path
Won’t cuddle at first, but if you wake up first you’ll find him sleeping close to you, with at least one of his hands touching you
Always notices when you don’t eat, sleep or drink enough
You’re the first (and only) person he will feel romantic love for
He has a bit of sexual experience before, but with you it's completely different - once you guys have sex for the first time, he becomes obsessed with your body and how it makes him feel
Loves fingering you
"You like it, dove?"
Even if you guys don’t work out, he won’t ever be with somebody else 
Would ask your parents for you hand in marriage, but honestly it's just out of politeness, the only answer that matters to him is yours
Regulus Black:
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Like Blaise, he was raised the old fashioned way
Acts coldly towards everyone except you, his tone and eyes gets warmer and kinder when talking/looking at you, and you’re the only person he’ll smile at
You were his best (and only) friend and he has been in love with you for years
He hides his feelings very well, but one day you start dating someone else (thinking Regulus doesn’t share your feelings) but he can’t bear it and confesses his feelings
Always defends you
He’ll take you on restaurants or picnics dates, always bringing flowers
Mostly fine with PDA (holding hands, hands on your waist)
Thinks he’s very lucky to have you
Probably already starts thinking of marrying you during your last year at Hogwarts 
A bit jealous, but can’t stand it when Sirius tries to talk to you
Will gladly do your homework with/for you
Loves it when you sleep in each other’s arms, loves feeling you close
Loves it when you call him “Reggie” (only you is allowed to)
Will literally do everything you ask him to
You’re everything to him
Can’t stay away from you for long
Will get worried if you’re five minutes late
Always calls you “sweetheart” or “love”/”my love” 
Slow, romantic sex most of the time but sometimes he needs to be rougher
Thanks to you he’ll feel lighter and he will become kinder
You’ll even make him change his views on blood purity and stand up to his parents, and with time he gets closer to Sirius thanks to that (and you) 
If that doesn’t change and he still joins Voldemort, he’ll leave you a letter before going to the cavern, saying how much he loves you and how much you mean to him
Harry Potter:
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Don’t expect any pet names from him, but he might create a nickname with your name (like he calls Ginny ‘Gin’ in the Cursed Child) 
His love languages are fierce protectiveness, loyalty and a patience he didn’t knew he had
Has no problem with PDA because he doesn’t care about what other people think  
Loves cuddles
Rarely gets mad at you, and feels guilty when he does
Mostly gets mad at you when you hurt yourself (for example during Quidditch) but it's also because he was scared for you
Hot kisses in private
Will be jealous if he sees you with another guy 
He’s passionate in a lot of things he does, and it includes you and everything you do
Will fiercely defend you again anyone, can even throw hands
Gets FURIOUS when Umbridge hurts you during detention, and will cuddle you for hours and do everything he can to make the pain disappear
Knows people are mean to you during fifth year because you're dating him and he hates it
During that year the only peace he feels is when he's holding you or when you sleep in his arms (it's also the only time he doesn't get nightmares)
Very supportive 
Loves getting you gifts 
You make him feel SO happy, he’ll just keep smiling for no reason 
Gets more and more clingy with time
Always write to you during the holidays (you always invite him to come to your house)
I'm not sure about sex while you guys are at Hogwarts but he 100% feels lust for you, there will definitely be hot making sessions when you guys are alone in a dark corner of the castle and it often ends up with you against the wall with your legs around his waist while he kisses your neck and caresses your legs
However sometimes he just can't stop himself and will eat you out (even maybe finger you at the same time), and will be proud when you come
Any act of service you do for him means a lot
You're always worried about him when he's at the Dursleys but he reassures you that he's fine
Comes to you in the middle of the night if he has a nightmare and generally comes to you for comfort or to rant 
Needs you more than ever after Voldemort comes back and after Sirius’ death 
Misses you like crazy during his quest for Horcruxes, and he can’t bear the thought of something happening to you 
Might struggle to show it, but he knows and is thankful of how patient and comprehensive you are with him, and that makes him want to be the best boyfriend he can be
Terrified Voldemort might hurt/kill you
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