#someone take ur weird ass kid

[jazzyblusnowflake]

DID CYN JUST FUCKIN LICK HER OWN EYEBALL-

LIZARD PEOPLE CONSPIRACY LOOKIN AHH MF-

[yuff7e]

Hello hii !!

Rlly love the way you write , it has a certian comfort to it zjsbdn 🎀

Could you please write sfw and nsfw hcs with Kokushibo and Sanemi ( separate ) and a male!jester! reader . Reader is like super flexible and hardworking and actually takes his job seriously even though just seems kinda silly

Thank you in advance !

- ♱ anon

˚ ༘♡ sanemi & kokushibo sfw + nsfw headcanons w a male jester s/o !! ⋆｡˚ (literally everything is in the title)

male reader

hiii ♱ anon !! how are you ?! this is definitely an interesting request !! hope u enjoy <3 (and tysm that’s the sweetest thing ever ily)

the cuties song -> www.spotify.com

ꕤ*. sanemi shinazugawa !! SFW

- he’s impressed by you from the start

- you’re really flexible, that’s cool

- and you take your job seriously, that makes him respect you

- like wow u know how to have fun and be serious at the same time.

- so cool !!

- now he’s pretty distant at first bc that’s just how he is fr

- until you guys get to talking and the conversation is flowing

- man they’re banging fr !

- what a banger !

- anyway eventually he begins to form feelings for you

- the other hashiras notice right away because it’s kinda obvious he likes someone when he doesn’t like anyone

- like no one, he only talks to like .. 2 people

- so when he’s actually trying to hang w u that makes it pretty obvious in itself

- he’s just like “hey [name], train with me.”

- “alright!”

- *cue you jumping like pinkie pie over to the training site as he just walks like an emo kid right beside you*

- literally so random but i feel like you guys would just have the best time training, especially since ur really flexible so he’s all over that

- “wow you dodged my attack? that’s pretty cool.”

- after he confessed to you he’s actually a really nice guy

- deep down he’s really gentle and sweet, you just have to get to know him

- and you did and now you’re dating !! congrats~

- anywho, he’s just really sweet

- he’ll help you with your work too, especially since u do so much of it he’s like “let me help”

- like “alr pal go ahead and do all my work im GOOD” <- you

- js kidding you’d be like “aww thanks man!” *slaps him on the back like the MANLY MAN you are*

- he glares at u

- “oopsies” 😊

ꕤ*. sanemi shinazugawa !! NSFW

- fuckin’ feral

- i feel like he has an issue with getting horny like, a lot

- especially now that he’s with you he actually has a hole to pound

- and with that flexible part of you…. you know he’s using that to his advantage

- got both of your legs over your head and crosssed

- buddy wants to see you spread.

- lwk he’s prolly into fisting NOT EVEN TRYNA BE WEIRD JS SAYIN

- like i feel like he likes gaping holes and shi and like will thrust in and pull all the way out between thrusts just to look at the hole

- he would most definitely hold u by ur dick when he’s fucking u in missionary with one of his hands as he pounds you

- he probably has like 4 bottles of lube in his dresser and runs out

- he uses tm …

- he likes to see u oiled up fr

- since you’re flexible you can arch your back really well

- so he’s like pushing your upper body down and like towering over you from doggy and like shoving ur ass up with his dick pounding in you in this crazy arched position

- he just likes seeing you moan and cry

- he’s kinda mean but the aftercare is top tier

- holding and cradling you from behind (with his dick still in u prolly)

- i bet he says things while he’s fucking u like “you’re really getting pounded by a top hashira, you like that you fuckin’ slut?”

- definitely a degrader but if u wanna be praised you’ll get it but it’s still kinda mean

- “you’re doing so good just like the whore you are.”

- what a bastard

- is definitely into face fucking you but will get on his knees for you to face fuck him

- likes it when you use his hand to jerk you off

- why he kinky 🙁

ꕤ*. kokushibo !! SFW

- mans is so quiet you don’t even know how u got him to speak to u anyway

- plus he rarely comes out like HOW TF DID U GET TO TTH

- okay well anyway you did

- he takes a liking to you with how hardworking you are

- and you’re also a hashira, how interesting

- you aren’t a demon, and you’re speaking with him?? when you should be killing him?? hot

- i feel like he would come out at night in the forest to see you sometimes if you call for him

- “yes?”

- “just wanted to come and say hi!”

- “alright…. wut…”

- anyway yeah EVENTUALLY you two get together

- you have to confess though because demons don’t really feel feelings, so once he starts having a beating heart around you he’s like “am i dying”

- no ur not ur head over heels kokushibo !! ~

- will protect you with his life.

- you can’t tell the hashiras about this obviously, but sometimes they ask you why you always go out at night

- “better not be doing anything fuckin’ weird” <- sanemi grumbling

- “im not!” *cue you getting fucked face down in the grass in the forest*

ꕤ*. kokushibo !! NSFW

- talking about getting fucked face down in the grass in the forest— !!

- he loves fucking you in “public settings” (although most people aren’t in the forest out at night)

- deep low growls as he pounds your tight ass

- he kinda wants to put his sword up against your throat as he fucks you

- you both know that’s risky but even talking to him was risky to begin with like shit bro

- loves pulling your hair and he wants you to pull his as well

- he’s actually loud, like his groans and moans just come out everytime he fucks you or you fuck him

- quiet person in general but will be loud as shit as you fuck him

- “don’t stop..”

this is all i could do im so sorry kokushibos is shorter than sanemis 😭 , THEY JS BARELY SHOW KOKUSHIBO ITS SO HARD TO WRITE HIM SOMETIMES (plus i was so tired writing that its the next morning and im so refreshed)

REQUESTS : OPEN

[tiramisuucakeee]

# NEED THAT ★

( reader x lee heeseung )

IN WHICH: your annoying bf keeps dming you

BTW: some from pinterest. heeseung texting like every other 20 smth year old alpha male from a frat called sigma ligma.

read more !

‘ heeseung r u on ur way alr? ’

‘ you did not just leave me on seen ’

‘ r u kidding me ?!?!?? ’

‘ alr it’s on sight ’

‘ i’m 5 mins away ’

‘ no we’re not baking anymore. i bet ur fingers r sore from texting other bitches all the time ’

‘ 😐 ’

‘ i bet ur head is sore from overthinking too much u delusional ass ’

‘ okay ’

‘ in the most psychotic and obsessive boyfriend way, i miss watching you sleep ’

‘ what ’

‘ i won’t take it back EVER ’

‘ ur so weird ’

‘ yh but u still like me dumbass 💪 ’

‘ unfortunately ’

‘ i want you so bad ’

‘ i’m literally in love with you ’

‘ can i come over? ’

‘ pleaseeeeeeeeer ’

‘ wtf ’

‘ ermmm, i didn’t send that, it was my inner demon or smth ’

‘ sure ’

‘ sure? ’

‘ u can come over, i unlocked the door ’

‘ FUCK YES ’

‘ don’t ever scream shit like that to me again lee heeseung. don’t argue with me ’

‘ GOV NAME?! IT WAS JUST A TINY FIGHT?! ’

‘ well excuse me if our problems are not that important to you. don’t expect dinner tn ’

‘ ARE YOU BANNING ME FROM HAVING FOOD? ’

‘ yh ’

‘ how long? 😓 ’

‘ until i forget i’m mad ’

‘ woman… that could take years ’

‘ don’t talk 2 me like that, who do you think you are ’

‘ uh. your bf ’

‘ whatever ’

‘ do you still love me? ’

‘ what kinda goofy ahh question is that🤣 ’

‘ answer ’

‘ yeah i do, i love you ’

‘ even tho we fight like every 2 minutes? ’

‘ especially because we fight every two mins. seeing u mad turns me on a lot 😓😓😓 ’

‘ wow ’

‘ heyyyy hot beautiful girlfrienddd of mine !!!! 🪤🪤🪤 ’

‘ hey ’

‘ what’s that supposed to mean? ’

‘ are you calling me a rat? ’

‘ what? omg no, i would never ’

‘ 🪤 ’

‘ ?????? ’

‘ doesn’t that cheese look yummy? ’

‘ i’m blocking you ’

‘ so no cheese ? ’

‘ bro ’

‘ i mean ’

‘ hot ass sexy pretty beautiful gorjuss girlfriend on mine ’

‘ gorjuss … ’

‘ let me talk, i got smth important 2 say ’

‘ so this emoji 🫢 ’

‘ it gets like ’

‘ a whole ass new dark meaning ’

‘ when u consider that ’

‘ the hand might not be his ’

‘ but someone who is behind him covering his mouth ’

‘ and jerkign him off ’

‘ wish that was u huh ’

‘ mayhaphs ’

‘ r u free? ’

‘ no ’

‘ okay so u hate me ’

‘ lee heeseung ’

‘ 😭😭😭😭 ’

‘ gf where r u'

‘ i am literally so embarrassed ’

‘ everyone at the restaurant will think my date bailed on me ’

‘ i look so hot rn fr ’

‘ like how could u ever bail on me ’

‘ gf gf gf gf ’

‘ uh. hello y/n? ’

‘ it's been 30 years.... ’

‘ i miss u ’

‘ the winters have grown so long in your absence ’

‘ i fear the crops won't last through the night ’

‘ the chill of this wind... it's so cold.... ’

‘ i shall perish tonight with the last of the corn plants ’

‘ heeseung, i’m looking 4 a space to park, calm down ’

‘ my bad ’

‘ can i tie a ribbon around your bicep? ’

‘ what why? ’

‘ just for smth ’

‘ can i say no? ’

‘ what do you think ’

‘ well damn. ok ’

‘ make it pretty ’

‘ 🤭 ’

EXTRA:

masterlist.

[empresskylo]

hai hai!! i have some cod nsfw headcanons ^_^ hope you don’t mind i just have brainworms that need to be let out

price has a MASSIVE (pun intended) size kink. he loves having your small frame beneath him, just manhandling you everywhere >_<

simon is actually really gentle. he definitely has dacryphilia, but the first time you started crying during the act, he got so scared :’( you had to reassure him you were alright ! now he can be more rough, even downright mean at times .

gaz looks like the most ‘proper’ of the 141, but he’s freaky !!! he’s really into degradation and praise, and he’s a huge ass man idc idc ! but he’d also spend hours with body worship just taking care of u

soap’s favorite position is cowgirl / just you riding him, he loves seeing his dog tags dangle between ur tits, holding your hips and just having you on top :p

aah that’s it sorry for spam </3 love your writing

I NEVER MIND HEADCANONS ARE WE KIDDING?!!!

price having a size kink makes my brain malfunction. like i neeeeeed that man. i’m so sorry but i also feel like he’d have a bit of an age gap kink. he’s not that old—he’s like what? late 30s early 40s??—but he secretly really likes dating someone way younger than him. the fact that irl i’m like oh ew gross at those kind of men! but in fiction, i’m like i want that man down bad and obsessed with the fact that he’s larger and older than you. need him to feel like he’s taking advantage of you: being older, bigger, and in higher power, and he hates how much he gets off on that.

no im obsessed with simon being a gentle lover. the thing is, i love him soft and rough, so combining it is just 😩 him being so sweet and slow and gentle at first, but once you convince him you’re ok with him being rough, my man goes a little crazy. he loves to leave bruises on you. loves to degrade you (“look how easily you spread your legs for me. pathetic.” “beg for it, love”). loves to toss you around like you’re nothing. loves seeing your eyes water when he’s just pounding the shit out of you, the way you struggle to form coherent words. if you don’t have tear stains by the time he’s done, he clearly didn’t do his job right. but that’s not every time.. he’s still gentle and takes his time and whispers sweet praises in your ear in between. like UMMMFFF.

gaz is younger (and acts like it) so ofc he’s freaky. i don’t think he gets too weird with it or too obscure in his kinks, but he definitely likes to try new things. he lovesssss to talk dirty, watching you get flustered beneath him from just his words is his favorite thing. and my guy lovessss eating puss lmao. he definitely texts you randomly “please let me come over and go down on you. i just miss you so much.” like he straight up doesn’t expect anything in return, he just likes to get off by pleasing you and needs to taste you or he’ll lose his marbles.

i feel like entire fandom has all agreed soap likes it when his girl is on top 🤪 and they’re right!!! he is most definitely and without a doubt, a boob guy. so watching them bounce as you ride him sends him into aerospace. he is obsessed with watching you work yourself on top of him. and he can be dominant when he wants, but a lot of the time he likes when you take charge. he goes crazy when you shove his chest back down as he tries to sit up and you just mercilessly ride him until he’s a whimpering mess.

thank you for this, anon. i always love seeing other peoples headcanons <3

[weebsinstash]

consider; multiverse shenanigans with a spider!reader where they make some offhand comment about how their heat/rut is coming up soon and they'll need some volunteers to cover patrols while they're down and half the society is like 'o damn that sucks, yeah i can swing a tuesday' and the other half is like 'your WHAT is coming up???'

and it turns out that a decent chunk of the multiverse has no idea what a/b/o orientations even are and it somehow just got totally lost in translation until that very second that this was a thing. what do you mean omega???? what the fuck do you mean you just thought i was a really boring smelling beta?????????? y'all motherfuckers are SNIFFING PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

now consider a miguel that is not from an a/b/o verse hearing about this and doing a little research to figure out exactly what a heat/rut is and just getting sucked down a rabbit hole and going feral for the idea that you're going to be in a highly suggestible and vulnerable state for nearly a WEEK and he's going to miss it!!! he didn't get invited!!!! what the fuck!!! the man spends a solid 48 hrs immersed in really bad multiversal porn and comes out the other end hungover and weeping that he nearly missed out on this

so he takes it upon himself to do a little rearranging, some scheduling, some scheming, and lo and behold you find yourself stuck in this crappy half-built nest in nueva york with miguel, who has no real idea how he's supposed to actually perform for you while ur like this and is just making it up as he goes- and totally ignoring the cultural and consent issues he's digging up doing this bc its biology right? so its fine? people in ur universe do this all the time, he has no idea why ur complaining just let him help u out jeez-

Some rando Spiderperson intending to be transphobic: --and they want us to accept everyone as whatever they say they wanna be now, as if men can get pregnant!

Reader, without skipping a beat: what the actual fuck are you talking about, my father carried me and my siblings for 6 months

Miguel is just starting to know you and is actively trying to learn more about you and one day you just, I dunno, you two do a mission together and he gives you praise and you just look at him with a big smile 😊 and your ass straight up PURRS for a few moments and he's just like 🥺❤️ gatito... ❤️

The man sees you talking to Jess and Peter B one day and O'Hara is watching from a distance because he's, awkward and not sure how to approach you, and suddenly his super hearing can pick up someone in the room talking idly about you, or even explaining ABO stuff to another person. "Yeah, see em over there, holding Peter Bs kid? Those Omega always have nurturing instincts. It's cause they're wired to spit out tons of babies. They're the breeders. They even have natutal pheromones to calm down their mates and friends and children" and suddenly Miguel's ears are burning "youre tellin me my darling might wants lots of little babies running around? Fantastic."

Mexican/Irish and also Catholic Miguel who wants one of those STUPID HUGE families where people have at least 6 kids and it's like "oh a typical Omega pregnancy usually has at least two or three babies in one go and theyre shorter than normal human pregnancies huh? Interesting :)"

Some members of the Spider Society are like "why is Miguel kind of lowkey being a dick to me all the time now" oh well its very simple you see, Miguel read your file and found out you're an Alpha and you share this weird connection and also natural biological attraction to HIS lil honeybee and He Hates You Now. Fuck off out his house and don't let him see you talking to his baby or else

He gets really close to you one day, I mean like physically, or hey maybe emotionally too, and he's hugging you and he gets a whiff of your scent and it's something he can't even describe, something that has a carnal biological effect on his where he just wants to keep holding you and hearing your voice like a drug, like it's oxytocin on crack, and suddenly in true scientist fashion he's researching you, your universe, its history, its medicine, its culture.

Can't help but imagine a Miguel who goes full yandere and gives no fucks about doing what he wants for darling and splices his DNA with Alpha DNA so he can officially claim you as a mate, scenting, knotting, and everything. Lyla gives you instructions to meet him in a specific place and it turns out he's been experimenting on himself and he's deep in a rut and suddenly your knees are getting pushed into your chest and you're getting passionately knotted and filled up by a grunting growling purring Miguel who's leaving love bites and kisses all over your skin, just, his size alone would make him hard to get away from, you don't even need to add Alpha instincts and being able to track your pheromones on top of that 😳

Miguel "just let me 'help you as a friend'" O'Hara who tracked when your next heat was going to kick in and maybe even drugged you so it comes at a specific time and he makes it where the two of you are together or even trapped or something when it happens and, here he is, "oh just let me help you, isn't it hurting" but like. We all know it's because he wants to. Like could you even imagine he's, you know, using his fingers and he goes to remove his pants or free himself or whatever and you're just like "no I'll get pregnant" and he just kind of has a Microsoft error window in his brain because it's like. Oh you'll get almost DEFINITELY pregnant? Guaranteed? You're trying to tell the man you dont want to and instead at least internally he's like "promise? 👉👈"

[shakespearean-dream]

TW!!! — blood, scarring and mild body horror ahead 🥲

benny’s turn!

before i start i wanna clarify i hesitated a bit on posting this because lovely mutual @vor-leser just posted his benny interpretation (go look at it and follow him btw), and idk if we like mind melded or smth but our human benny’s are super similar LOL. i damn near scrapped the whole thing out of fear someone would get mad at me but i Would Not be able to start over and get this done ever so this is as good as we’re gonna get. 😭 my apologies niko love u /p

this has been like a full 7 days in the making 😭😭 the art block that i felt coming on while doing ellen and ted hit me like an optimus prime sized semi truck this week along with a depressive episode so i definitely appreciate that happening and i am not upset about it at all! /s i’m totally good so don’t worry or anything /gen, mental health is just weird and i also wanted to explain the gap in my posts 😔

i do not know how to feel about this drawing if i’m so fr with you; i’m proud of myself for AM-ified benny cause i think i got the slowly rotting from the inside out primal freak energy down pretty good, but on the other hand this feels kinda empty?? i usually have a lot more commentary squished in here but i think my brain’s a little fried 🤦‍♂️ i love drawing me some beautiful buff men though so drawing normal ben was familiar territory. however his wack ass haircut i gave him is his punishment for being a PRICK!!! go sit in the corner and think about ur actions benjamin.

like ted n the rest of the sillies i’m not straying too far from canon with his personality, he’s an ass and a murderer and a hella smart dickhead who desperately needs to be punished by the universe (thank you for that one AM). hot take i did not like his “redemption arc” in his game scenario and i don’t think with how he was throughout the entirety of his life (and also throughout the game, main example his inner dialogue) he would actually go out of his way to help the kid because he means it??? n prove he changed to the guys he killed cause he means it??? i dunno maybe AM torturing him made him have a main character “omg i’ve been in the wrong this whole time!!1” moment like the game suggests i’m just not buying it 💀 i’m sure it’s just cause bennys scenario couldn’t be too long and they couldn’t fully flesh him out which i won’t fault the game makers for. i’m a steven universe fan, i know what time constrictions can do to a plot and redemption arc 😭 looking at you white diamond…

his wife n kids are up top and they’re kinda neat to me— i was considering the hc that part of the reason manya (his canon wife) left him is because she realized she was a lesbian which would be funny as fuck considering benny’s also One Of Them Queers 😭. i think during the brief times he was home and able to parent his daughters they got really scared and tired of him, one because he’s just a very threatening powerful and overbearing man, but also because i feel like he would’ve been on their ASS about everything. grades, extracurriculars, friends, wardrobe, this guy was micromanaging his family to an annoying extreme (ofc because of his perfectionist complex). he probably loved manya and the kids in his own weird way, but it was more contractual to him than any real personal relationship. maybe he inherited that from his own parents?? i doubt he ever talked to them after he moved out.

that’s about the end of my thoughts on this fucker. 🥲 funny storyyyy i just remembered i have laundry to finish so im gonna go do that, lord help me. thank you for reading all this if you did!!!!! we’re over halfway through so who do yall want next? wanna save AM or nimdok for last? i’ll see u guys later :]]]

[ch3rryb0mb3rr]

Tldr; please put warnings on smut and have it below the cut and stop sexualizing minors in media. Especially if they just came out of middle school thats weird. Write what you want but tag and put warnings when needed.

--

I get so pissed when im going to read something about my favorite character, and it's smut WITH ZERO WARNING.

No 18+, no NSFW, no MDNI and it isnt even in the fucking tags. I dont wanna read that shit. Put the damned warnings there for the love of all that is green on this earth it takes two seconds. maybe a bit more, but if you could pump out 3.4k words of pure porn, I think you can handle a couple of tags and warnings

I am a minor, and i use those warnings, so I dont read straight-up porn!! I also dont need to read about incest accidentally because there was NO warning, and it was NOT in the tags!!

(And for those of you who do put warnings, i thank you and wish the best in life!)

(I am also well aware that a lot of people dont listen to dnis like that, but it's helpful for the people trying to avoid reading stuff like that)

Also, while im on the subject, let's not sexualize minors in media. Yeah their hot, i can see that. But i dont want to see the start of an NSFW alphabet for a 15/16 year old. Aged up my ass. Just put the beginning below the cut?? And not after the first four letters??

I do NOT need to know a fav characters preferred body part is the tits thank you very much. I definitely do not need to accidentally read that they wanna suck on it like a damned bottle.

--

'This character as your friend is soo perverted he wants to steal ur panties hehehe' NO HE DOESNT. HE'S A TEENAGER AND LIKES CATS. TF?? theres adults in the majority of the show that are reasonably attractive. Write that shit about them.

'Oh, they have this list of kinks,' and its shit only someone who has read hardcore smut would have. They are 16 and most probably haven't had sex because the creator cant give them a fucking break from trauma.

'He would be soooo toxic and blahblahblah [insert romanticised assault and abuse and trauma]' NO. that boy is my age and is a nerd. Motherfucker wants to study at princeton and has absolutely no flirting ability. You're only saying that because he's black, most of that shit reeks of racism.

--

These characters are kids, CHILDREN, and you as an adult (if you are one) should not be writing smut about them, aged up or not. You should not be thirsting over a sophmore when theres PLENTY of good looking adults that you can be.

Theres a difference in growing up liking a character and having a crush on them and growing out of it when you're an adult. And being an adult thirsting over a teenage boy. It's not cute. it's not 'oh, it's fine because he/she's not real'.

Its really fucking gross actually.

--

At the end of the day just tag your stuff correctly. That way its easier for everyone else to find EXACTLY what they wanna read. Because at this point im just gonna start reporting fics with no warnings at the beginning.

Someome younger than me with no parents looking through their devices could stumble on that, and not know what it means, read it, and be scarred for life.

I was reading that stuff way way way too earlier and its fucked up my mental state a bit so if we collectively start putting in the effort to help prevent this from happening to another 11 year old or younger than we should do so.

--

Start gatekeeping fandoms like creepypasta from young kids, start tagging shit correctly

Another child does not need to end up somewhat hypersexul with very violent intrusive thoughts by the time they hit high school because their parents wouldn't look out for them, and the fandom did NOTHING to try to prevent it.

Its not your job to parent the kid, and to look over their should. Thats not what im saying.

It IS your job to, again, tag shit correctly, put warnings for gore, bluring violent images, saying outright that a certain game/book/story/etc your recommending is NOT for kids due to its violent nature/sexual content/etc. Reporting accounts of children under the age limit for social media (i.e., a 10 year old with discord or instagram) (it is breaking the T.O.S)

Act like that one lgbtq+ chat room website I was on for a couple weeks where all the adults kinda looked out for me a bit. And supported me figuring out who I was and collectively riped a guy to shreds after I blasted him at a failed attempt to groom me. (And told me I had done exactly the right thing in this situation. Also, hi, if you know who I am from there!!!) (Story time if ya'll want I look back and think its the funniest thing ever how I dealt with him 💀)

[istherewifiinhell]

scheduled hopefully for appropriate insanity causing hours

304 cant believe everyone in gin.tama just lives like this. the. speech convictions dramatic childhood flashbacks promises lifestyle. not just for main characters i guess (is this guy the shogun.....)

yay yay yippppppe the guys. yay ayay yippeee flashbacks. DONT DIE.

kaaaaaaruga. always suspected. if i understood her more id be obsessed. Confirmed. 2 second in pulling that. i was waiting for ur weakness bullshit. BEAT UP UR OLDER BROTHER. (<- comma. gay? ) kagura born on this planet.... half a second of taka.gin grappling could sustain me for a life time (gin puts his hands on him to throw him) hey fellas i know this is the Sword Penis show but have u considered going at it meg.op. style. for me?

omg baby flashback leftest infighting. sugi ur not the most oppressed person in the world u know. well u would say that scholarship baby zura. diddddddd they shape each others ideologies like that. where they reading theory together as shitty little kids -> well prob not this show but lets indulge

oh right gin former. ghost eating thing. showing up to the school yard beef with a real sword.

HI SHOU.YOU. HI. his little pogchamps

loveeee how they do the blood in this show looks like velvet, alll dark shimmery. also the editing. wooooo.

bushido speech. this shit is cool actually. also leon.ardo the ninja turtle would love it (03)

zura giving him fooooood oh no. little. verbal redirects of kindness transparency

NOOOO SUGI beats gin for the first time clip NO NONO SUGI LAUGHING SLOW MO CLIP (already tearing up)

ahhhh the position of the school and the attitudes of the backgrounder kids actually very affecting and interesting isnt it.... shou.youuuuuuuu the man(thing) that u are....

ep. 305

theeeeee babies. the babies.... the babiest guys. so so charmedddd by them charmeddd again by how. unexpected? maybe. sugi and zura stick together.... the remainers..... kidtoki why are uuuu such a perfectly cromulent. thing. little. video game character ass look. perfect. shitty cool affect. wanna pinch his little cheeks 10/10 letting this kid be the leader of the playground gang.

shou.youuuuuu shou.youuuuuu. such a. believably. man with his complexities but hes being around children so (friendly voice) 'thats right. what do you think' sooooo. yeah immediately believes 100 thousand percent he means everything he says so truly yeah i probably would get. horrible weird trauma give the givens too

THROW THE SWORDS AWAY YAYYYYYY. flashback. ohhhhhhh sugi. i little. weird bitch (said in. desperate scrambling fondness. i love the things that are wrong with him)

gin boots are so hot...

SOMEONE INTIMATE TO CUT AND CURSE!!!!!!! ohhhhh babes (what could i possible say abt it that hasnt been said) well i hope they fuck themselves to death about it

fightscene styles gt vs tf <- place holder i left for myself. that will be extricated to a diff post.

gin scrambling in the blood and dirt under all the promises he has given his loved one. YES BABE. thats exactly what ur supposed to be going

ohhhhhh godddddddd the fucking beheading scene back to back from both of their perspectives oh jesus fuck oh hell. im going to. cut and curse at someone else. i guess. THANKS HIM. THANKS HIM FOR IT. (crying) cool. thats normal. i feel normal about the man (shou.you)(gin)

what the fuck. oboro real? thats fucked up. THATS WHO TAKES THE EYE? (knew this techincally) WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. (am seeing him) why is he a grown ass man i thought he was a kicked dog of a boy.

SUGI. SUGI YOU DUMB BITCH (loves him)(loves intractable positions)(loves the emotional incommunicability of reality)(loves an emotional confliction you can never resolve and just have to die about) he did it to save u fucking losers. cause his fucking teacher dad man asked him too. and thanked him for the service. ohhhhh u miserable fucks

why did you SAVE US. say it like that. damn.

oh youd do anything. youd kill shou.you. youd kill sugi himself. just to save the student your teacher loved. okay. okay. jesus. so you are the same. so your exactly the same person. your saying things that dont even make sense youve both lost any plane of reality cause you cant separate the things youve lost from the things you have. the very people youve saved are now reflected in those youve lost and youll both kill them to keep them alive. okay. no yeah thats fine cool lol.

(i guess sugis version would technically be said in reverse, you cant separate what youve have from what youve lost and the very person you lost are reflect in the one who saved you. and to keep him alive (crying gin.toki) youd kill him)

and MOST IMPORTANTLY. because you are the same person. you see yourself in him and him in yourself and u cant figure out where you end and he begins and your diametric opposed mirror reflection goals that lead you to taking. the exact same actions. okay. lol. OKAY. lol.

WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. GET OUT OF HERE FREAK. i was talking.

id alt. im always saying this. or even just. Why is Oboro.

ep 306

heyyyyyy kagura! hiiiiii. youre not dead yay! hi. older brother. youre still here.

squints ohhhh these are. the cops? mayo man and. is this the other canonical gay sex haver or. (only has the normalest of second hand knowledge)

'if im just gonna end up as fertilizer anyway, i dont care if my path there is paved by roses or thorns.' damn dude. get out of the fucking. whatever ur in. and go become a metal music lyricist. what the fuck

oh shin.pachi. ur in this show.

googling. cant figure it out. whoever this green zombie bitch is sounds familiar. wish he had a name or smth.

damn there really is space in this show huh. thats crazy thats crazy. planet of the big hats vs planet of. umbrellas? anyone wanna watch space military anime.....

shogun 'i will protect the country were my friends live' what kagura said abt the planet. 'and to fulfill that goal, you'll even endure the deaths of your friends here?' gestures at the shou.you trolley problem. wow. that is tidy. good job recursive gin.tama

why do you grip that broken sword. you killed your teacher. you battled your friend. - my enemy is right here. WEVE NEVER CHANGED. weve all been fighting our own selves. ill stop him. even if it means having to kill him. but im also the one who understands how he feels better than anyone else

ohhhhhh gin. tama. ohhhhh gin. toki. i love u. i love u so much for just. saying insane thesis shit. like. yeah! YEAH OKAY! yeah thats. making out sloppy style with the narrative theming <- what do i mean by that.

be it killing him or protecting him. their both my job (gets so hard i pass out)

gin: says the most homoerotic twisted identity shit ive ever heard in my life that rests solely on. how unextractable gin. and sugi both are from each other due to. their love of shou.you. and thus. reflectionally. each other. oboro: his students are burning with hatred. <- IS HE STUPID?

and second question. upon reflection, looking at this grown ass man thing. do we have a classic ninja turtles adult beefing with teenagers situation. please tell me yes i will roast this man to shit.

(sugi also say gay twisted identity shit) [impact image font] we are. we are going to beat you to death.

[ending bumper comedy thing] u cannot deny their commitment to the bittism. need this shit for my annoying nitpick continuity fandoms. yeah no it was cause he pooped his pants. he shitted and farted.

[tea-and-secrets]

something ive noticed in my transition - women just do not treat me the same. its weird /: it felt like one day i was the butch everyone hid behind & felt safe with, and the next i was scaring ladies by just like existing

idk it just hits me really fuckin hard every now and again yk? like tn for example. i work at a restaurant, we close at 11pm, i typically take the last bus of the night home. tonight there was this woman (20s? 30s?), real pretty, real white, and obvs new to town. anyway, she got on at the same stop i did, and she got off at the same one i did (i live in company housing, and most all of us have 2nd jobs so its quite routine to see another [redacted] employee on the city bus to/from work #2). now its a mile long walk right on the edge of the creepy ass woods, in the pitch black, to the company apt complex. and i was walking behind her the whole way 😐 she got so freaked out y'all! mace open n ready, keys in the fingers, pretending to be on the phone, etc. and im jus over here takin my sweet ass time walkin so i can star gaze. i felt bad for her feeling scared, so idk i just made noise and turned my flashlight on and tried to let her get as far ahead of me as possible. mostly cuz i was Not about to have her call the fuckin c*ps on me, an entire ass queer brown man, for daring to walk home in the dark behind her. BITCH WE GOT BEARS OUT HERE like if ur so "scared" of me wtf u gon do when u come face to face wit them? die??

sorry that was all over the place im just. so tired!!!! of cis women & white people being "scared" of me because of who i am and what i look like (ive been told i look like an ndn chulo 🤔 sorta danny trejo mixed wit rez kid, but fagged up real good). i miss the "innate" kinship, the "i do not know you but that person is being creepy af so ig we've been besties since grade school" or "hi, ik im walking so close behind u but its cuz ur bleeding. heres a tampon hun" or "were bonding over having a very similar experience within this society" kinda thing yk?

of course, i still have that with [most] other queers it just, hurts ig. to have my "role" flipped so suddenly. i *like* being someone ppl flock to for safety. i *enjoy* protecting others and providing comfort. i *want* randoms to feel comfortable enough with me to ask for help if they need it. idk 😐 hard bein 🫳🏽 and a 2Spirit fagdyke

.

[pilfappreciator]

Can you write about Veneer... Just, like, anything at all. I'm BEGGING. They could be headcanons, drabbles, oneshots, ANYTHING. My little gay mind can't handle it. If you don't have any ideas here are some that I have off the top of my head ^_^ (also if you could make any of these male reader I will love you forever BUT you obviously don't have to <33)

- Baking with him (but either veneer or the reader is a nightmare in the kitchen and everything goes wrong)

- Having a slumber party !! (Doing eachothers nails, hair, makeup, watching movies, just talking, possibly falling asleep in eachothers arms and being embarrassed in the morning)

- Playing hide and seek together

- CHRISTMAS WITH VENEER!!! (Decorating the house/Christmas tree, getting presents, playing out in the snow, just general festive activities:3)

- Reader who has a shit ton of stuffies and has named them all (introducing them to Veneer, cuddling, fluffy things)

- Eepy time (sleeping/cuddling hcs, shenanigans, not being able to fall asleep, weird midnight chats)

I had more but I forgot....

NAHHH UR LITERALLLY SO BASED I LOVE YOU FOR THAT!!! Veneer is literally such a criminal cuz like?? He kidnapped someone, tortured them, AND he stole your heart??? SOMEONE STOP HIM ASDKJALJSLD

Ended up combining a few of your ideas into one big concept! Hope you don't mind :3

Also heads up that this takes place before the events of Band Together took off! Just figured it'd be kinda hard to throw a sleepover when your ass is literally in prison lol

Veneer x Reader: when your favorite twink invites you to a sleepover

Includes: Male! Reader, sleepover shenanigans, fluff, slight angst, gaygaygaygay—

💎 You and Veneer would have to be INCREDIBLY close before he even considered invited you over

💎 Tbh I feel like getting invited to hangout with this guy in any way is actually? Kind of a privilage?? Like his fame is obviously a big factor in that but growing up, I doubt he had any actual friends who weren't his sister. I imagine him as kinda shy and non-confrontational as a kid, and though Velvet wasn't the BEST sibling, she never hesitated to cuss out whatever poor soul chose to pick on her brother. She's always been the one to lead and Veneer has always just followed

💎 I mean... the guy literally participated in tortue just cuz his sister told him to. He sheep coded as hell 😔

💎 So yeah, this boy probably has like zero experience when it comes to having friends who don't use him for his fame and/or are related to him by blood. Luckily you came along! Now he's actually got someone with whom he shares a genuine connection with!!

💎 Whether that connection is strictly platonic has... yet to be determined >;3c

💎 WITH THAT BEING SAID!! This guy has never once participated in a sleepover (hanging out in his sister's room doesn't count), and he's got absolutely no clue what to do ://

💎 Will conduct numerous amounts of research days in advance! And by research, I mean he's binging all his favorite chick flicks and having Krimp take notes aslkdhaljsdl

💎 FR THO!! THIS BOY IS JITTERY AS HELL WHEN THE TIME COMES TO ASK YOU OUT OVER LIKE---!

💎 "Oh heyyyy, (____)! Fancy seeing you here!"

"This... is my house?"

"R-right, right! Obviously! Um, anyway, do you like sleeping?"

"Uh."

"Also, u-uh, totally unrelated but have you ever wondered what the inside of my house looks like?"

💎 Pls just accept his invitation. If he gets any redder he might pop a blood vessel or something

💎 Heaves out the BIGGEST sigh once you say yes. He'll try to play himself off as nonchalant even though he's absolutely ecstatic, but like... the boy is literally vibrating with excitement okay, he's not fooling anyone lol

💎 Once the big day comes and you show up to his house— sorry, MANSION? Prepare yourself cuz he is most definitely giving a tour. From the indoor pool, to the outdoor pool, to the personal studio/production room, to the many walk-in closets, to a room that is literally just one big ball pit, to a heigh-ceiling hallway just lined with photos/painting of him and his sister... he is NOT afraid to show off asdkajsdlkhjf

💎 (Sidenote: don't worry about Velvet potentially intruding on the sleepover. She's agreed to step out for the day on her brother's behalf. Was definitely pretty pissy about having to vacate her own home but eventually relented... but Veneer definitely owes her for her kindness)

💎 Yknow all those cliche sleepover activities people do in movies? Yeah, you guys are doing literally all of them

💎 Such a dumbass <33

💎 NO LIKE ACTUALLY THO?? Krimp made Veneer a list of popular and totally optional things to do at a sleepover and the second he saw it, he was just like "uugh, seems like a lot of work but I GUESS I'll do it 🙄"

💎 You guys are painting your nails matching colors, doing facemasks, messing around with each others' hair— the whole shebang!! And considering this dude is rich as fuck, you just KNOW he's got nothing but all the top-of-the-line products 😤😤. Only the finest for him (and you <33)

💎 LET HIM DO YOUR MAKEUP!! I feel like he really enjoys it as a whole! Like it's probably his favorite part of getting ready for shows or just his day in general, and the only person he's done makeup for is Velvet (tho those instances were VERY rare)... but if you just? Suggest that he does yours for you?? Like just sitting back so he can do his thing, allowing him to call the shots like he rarely ever does???

💎 Literally swooning SO HARD ASLDHKALKJSJDLKJA

💎 Unfortunately the whole thing kinda backfires on him cuz: 1) you're already super cute without makeup, and 2) he knows what he's doing and could easily boost someone's looks with just some eyesliner and the right shade of lipstick

💎 He makes you look hotter, is basically what I'm getting at

💎 He's not sure if he's just done himself a huge favor or screwed himself over for the rest of the night

💎 Considering his crazy wealth and the fact he probably grew up pretty sheltered/spoiled, I doubt this boy knows anything about how a kitchen works lol. Like most of his meals were either made for him by Krimp or served at high-end hoity-toity restaurants with caviar that probably cost more than most organs sell on the black market ://

💎 So yeah, dinner is really gonna come down to you and your skill level

💎 If you know you're away around, CONGRATS!! You've just signed yourself up for cooking lessons with Veneer! And yes, the kitchen WILL end up a mess (but no worries, he'll just make Krimp clean it up). You'll definitely have to take the lead here and he's more than happy to let you do so! Just tell him what spices you need or what utensil to grab, and his ass is on it 🫡 If you wanna teach him how to knead dough or peel certain ingredients?? He won't complain (especially if said activity requires you two to be in close proximity hehe)

💎 Do NOT leave him alone in the kitchen for more than 10 seconds. You'll just return to find him trying to cut strawberries with the dull side of a knife u_u

💎 If you're also total shit in the kitchen?? No worries! Veneer may be living that high life but he's not above ordering takeout lol

💎 Remember those chick flicks I mentioned earlier? Yeah, you two are totally running a marathon of those. If you happen to have any good recs or other movies you happen to like?? He's totally willing to give them a try! Just know that if it's a scary movie… he's gonna be wrapped around you like a koala and screaming into your ear at every jumpscare

💎 He may be talentless but this boy can hit a high note if he feels he's in danger

💎 He may be different from his sister in some ways, but one attribute he shares with her is the fact that he's a TOTAL GOSSIP LIKE?? THIS BOY IS MORE THAN PREPARED TO SPILL THE TEA ON ANY GIVEN OCCASION—

💎 "Oh my gosh, did you HEAR about what happened to Nikki Mirage the other day??"

"No? Wait, who's that again?"

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO--- okay, sit down so I can educate you 😤"

💎 Him and Velvet literally thrive on drama, idk what else to tell you

💎 (he might also spill some tea about his sister... nothing too incriminating, but like, a few embarrassing childhood stories couldn't hurt, right?)

💎 Late night talks are a MUST!! At some point in the night the two of you end up like... nestled under the covers of whatever fort you guys threw together... you're facing each other, heads centimeters apart as you share a pillow... whispering and giggling for no real reason...

💎 Maybe he vents a little about his insecurities and the way Velvet treats him, less like a brother and more like a shadow she can manipulate as she pleases... and maybe you grab his hand under the blanket... yknow, just to comfort him or whatever...

💎 Veneer only ever gets physical affection when he visits his parents, and even then it's just like? The bare minimum?? Pats on the head/shoulder/back, brief hugs, chaste kisses on his cheek— that kinda crap. And it's so tragic cuz this boy is literally the biggest little spoon to ever spoon. Like actually pls just hold him

💎 If he wakes up the next morning to find you laying behind him? Arms wound around his middle?? You face burried against his neck/shoulder blades/top of his head????

💎 He is not moving from that spot even after you wake up too <33

Cannibal, I absolutely ADORE YOU FOR THIS ASK!! LITERALLY SO FUN TO WRITE SAKLJASADKJSD THANK YOU SO MUCH <3333 (was originally gonna split this into two parts but was like, "nah, this ask deserves to be hella long" uwu)

Veneer redemption arc when??

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

whoops had a dream about this au where sonic.exe was there for some reason and doodled them again. some notes:

sorta vaguely still takes place in the sonic universe just very au. the main divergence is both shadow and maria escaped the ark, lived in hiding for a long time, and while shadow eventually obviously got in touch with his relatives (since eggman is dumping his kids on him) but he faked maria's death after the Portal Incident. so like vaguely the sonic plot is going on in the background but stuff like sonic adventure 2 never happened and characters like rouge and shadow never really got involved with stuff.

sage and metal obviously aren’t twins, but they’re both vaguely on the level of 11-12 year olds. metal isn’t really past the mental state she was created at bc she was neglected so much, sage is only a few months old but she had to mature too quick bc. look at her father and her sister.

sage is generally the more rational of the two (bc she isn’t instantly killing people bc she’s bored mostly), though she's absolutely not as cold and logical as she appears. she's very driven to be “useful”, because she’s terrified that she’s been abandoned and that she wasn’t “good enough” and she doesn’t want to lose the few things she still has, which drives her into her intense investigation of anything abnormal she can find. her lil hat has a sage on it 💚

metal is. metal. she's a tiny whirlwind of anger and hate. she's the emotional sister, but not in the excited and enthusiastic sense she’s just extremely messed up emotionally and reacts with violence towards the slightest provocation. she does open up a bit after time with someone who treats her as a person (which makes her become extremely clingy towards shadow which he’s. concerned about) but even when out of her shell a bit her joy is violence. she's recently realised she’s a girl and is experimenting by going full 12 year old girly girl bc she hasn’t realised she’s a goth yet (and is honestly kind of having fun with glitter and sequins, especially after she learnt you can take peoples eyes out with them, but she will Not admit it ever)

shadow is fucking Concerned bc like. all he knows about these two at first is that they’re his nephew who’s trying to take over the world or somethings kids and he doesn’t want to have to deal with robot invasions into his town bc he’s fucking tired of life. he did Not expect the two most traumatised robot kids known to man. he’s still laying low in a small town where interpol won’t find him, but he’s aimless as shit and has like 0 friends. his protectiveness over maria lead to the argument that caused the Portal Incident, and in his guilt he’s lost sight of what he once promised in a singleminded quest to get her back. yes he runs a scam ass tourist trap. he hates every second of it it’s just good business when ur kind of a passive beacon of chaos energy and you cannot avoid weird shit.

maria robotnik inherited the genius in most of her family and wanted to use it for good, but due to her nids she knew her time was running out. blood transfusions from shadow kept her alive as an emergency treatment, but as her disease progressed she sunk more and more into her research and eventually felt like she was trapped and unable to spread her inventions before she passed, leading to her and shadow's falling out. also demon consorting. she managed to find a somewhat of a cure after the Portal Incident but at a high price, she still suffers with the majority of symptoms even worse than before and is very sickly and weak but won’t die from it progressing. she’s grown rather jaded and bitter, a far cry from her innocent self as a child, but she’s still optimistic and wants to help the world. starting with the murder children her lil baby cousin ivo built for some reason what the fuck she is getting those two therapy immediately.

since sonic adventure 2 never happened rogue never ended up involved in the plot but she did eventually meet shadow anyway, when she was still a teenager looking for gems Very Illegally (shadow gives off the same readings as a chaos emerald, unfortunately for her). he's kind of become a very grumpy mentor figure to her bc she still hangs out around him bc she finds him very funny to tease when she’s not out stealing gems. sage finds her cool (and has a bit of a crush, but she’s unaware bc she doesn’t really know about romance let alone lesbianism) and she lets metal stab things if he gives her jewellery to make her look the other way, so she kind of ends up becoming a cool older friend to the robotnik sisters tho she does think they’re kind of weird.

sonic.exe is here bc it’s funny for him to be bill and that’s the only reason. but that aside he's a demon fucking around before he implements his plan to turn the world into his playground. he's barely more mature than the siblings, roughly on the same level as a teenager (which was also the age maria was when she did her consorting with demons) but he’s also completely sadistic and an absolute asshole (which… is kind of true for metal too but she's vaguely developing a moral compass and a sense of humanity after having a semi decent guardian) and likes hurting people for fun. his form is edgy sonic bc he takes the form of something his targets recognise to fuck with them.

big literally just lives here. he moved back in after adventure 1. he's literally just chilling. good for him.

[fairytypingg]

fuck it we're doing this

RAGEON HCS!!!!!

Velvet;

19

leo(i think thats what i am, idk a lot abt astrology)

7 minutes older and takes it way too seriously

overplans for everything

screams cries crumbles if she doesn't have 100% control over any situation

plays a lot into appearances but is actually a chronic workaholic(gets it from her uncle)

she and veneer were raaised by their uncle actually!!

velvet has a love hate relationship with the music industry, before and after the events of the movie

TRUST. ISSUES.

cannot ever talk about her feelings she'll explode

bottles everything up like im so serious

"i'll keep all my emotions right here. and then one day, i'll die."

she vents frustration by talking mad shit in cs:go lobbies

she's really good at the game

scary good aim because of it, and that DOES transfer to real life

has 97 mental illnesses and is banned from most public spaces/ref

"i inhereted severe generational trauma and all i got was borderline personality disorder"

someone help her

she needs therapy

also autistic <3

Veneer;

19

also a leo

7 minutes younger but only remembers bcs velvet will not let him forget

he seems chill in comparison because velvet is so high strung but he is the most dramatic bitch ever

says really out of pocket shit without thinking

"yeah that's why your parents dont call you then haha- what why are you looking at me like that what did i say"

he's the epitome of unmedicated adhd

probably needs glasses

the only one of the twins with a drivers license

was very outgoing growing up because velvet hated talking to people, so someone had to do it

doesn't rly understand velvet being depressed and thinks shes a drama queen like him

"im tragically doomed by the narrative" "drink water dumbass"

hes morosexual

"if a man can locate mount rageous on a map that man is not my type"

dumb fucking ass

love him, hes just kinda stupid.

Kid Ritz:

20

idk any other zodiac signs use ur imagination

every personality disorder you can think of

emotional manipulation is a sport and he is bringing home the gold

whats wrong with him

the answer is mommy issues. and rampant childhood neglect. also when you're raised as rich as he was you're gonna come out weird

struggled to understand the concept of lying as a child so when be finally got it he retaliated by lying for sport and then never stopped doing that

prefers machines to people

hes one of those "there is a minimum iq requirement to talk to me" guys

not just a talk show host!!

he's well trained to take over his father's political position when the old man retires

current director of public security

he's known as a purveyor of gossip for a reason

the saying goes that nothing happens in the city without his knowledge

hyperintelligent

like genius iq, reading at a college level by age 5, etc

actual child prodigy in every conceivable way

notorious for being "perfect"

he's the face of Ritzworth Media Corp for a reason

evil genius

also lonely

his father is grossly neglectful and his mother is a deadbeat

did i mention he has mommy issues

never met his mom and has devoted a lot of his energy to forming an intelligence network dedicated to finding her

hates people

like very antisocial

struggles HEAVILY with empathy

his interviews are notoriously difficult since he entertains himself by making his interviewees squirm

casual sadist in every conceivable way

What's Wrong With Him/aff

Orchid;

18

use ur imagination again im not gonna look it up

rebelling against common characterization here stay with me

secretive about her past but obviously hiding something

a chameleon type of person, can change her behavior, mannerisms, and even accent at the drop of a hat

carries a deep grief with her

distrusting and calculating

she'll "befriend" you but it takes a lot of effort to actually gain her trust

she WILL discard you if she's even slightly suspicious

nobody is sure what her goal is, but she has an agenda

orchid might not be her real name either

very mysterious

generally presents as kind and friendly but it's noticibly fake

cannot stress how much she is hiding something

capable of murder and not afraid to resort to such to protect her secret

dont look in her closet

she has participated in her fair share of underage drinking and can hold her liquor pretty well, but if you manage to get her drunk enough you may be able to pry some answers out of her

has a distaste for celebrities she doesn't see as beneficial to know

gives like. really good advice

identity issues <3

the song Phony is perfect for her

she moves as if she's used to her hair being longer than it is

what is she hiding?

[pumpkinsy0]

SHEPARD FAM CAREER HEADCANNONS?????

i just woke up so excuse me me if i read this wrong and gave u somethin u aint ask for</33

tim - butcher

•said it multiple times, rhis is just him, he wanted extra cash and wanted it to have a steady reliable flow of it

•he also wanted a job where still nobody could mess w him if the did come in, yknow????

•w his record, its a miracle, maybe the boss just dont rlly care that hes in the gang and just wants the job done or this is a job tim get when hes older, maybe its a mix of both, either way his boss thought he would be an important asset in he was hired

•hes oddly graceful w it, he finds in theraputic, its odd to witness but that nigga has a way w the cleaver and knife, its pretty terrifying, maybe tim shouldnt have a job no more

•yes btw he somehow uses what he’s learned in how he fights, im not saying hes out there KILLIN ppl w his knives btw, however when it comes to rumbles w weapons, hes truly on another level

•he brings home meat for angela and curly, its mostly bacon, but he brings other stuff too, curly loves eating meat (pause on that😭) so he dont mind but ik angela gets sick of it sometimes and just wants rice or somethin

curly - he’s had like several different jobs😭

•like i could genuinely see curly as that guy whos job jumping, he’s been a janitor, a airport baggage handler, camp counselor, rn tho hes a line cook/dishwasher

•out of all three of em, i dont know HOW THIS GUY GOT A JOB, but yknow what, he got it, hes that guy that always has a new job when u see him, was he fired or did he quit??? nobody knows, u just see him pop up behind a counter some place

•he’s that coworker whos always in the back fucking around, god forbid hes the one supposed to be training u, man he’s teaching u some tricks and then leaving u to the wolves mid way

•he NEEDS a smoke break, he hates staying in one place for too long, especially in that hot ass kitchen, hes getting overstimulated and accidentally snapping at ppl someone save him

•hes not a good employee, i promise u if u got a weird ass order, he will look at u strange, and if he can sense u got social anxiety he’d probably fuck ur order up a lil bit bc what r u gonna do??? come back and tell him he got it wrong🤨🤨🤨

•chances r the place he works at is some money laundering scheme hes clueless about, he just say they were hirin and thought “eh why not”

angela - retail or fast food worker but if she tried, she could be a model

•the only one w a clean slate, her getting a job is no hassle

•shes literally nicole from bistro huddy, need i say more, she never wants to work but honestly who does???

•shes that girl listening to this poor single mother of 4 in the break room venting about how badly she needs this money to support her kids, meanwhile angela just wants to buy some damn clothes and make up😭

•man she’s never came to work in a good mood, when she wakes up she sighs putting on that uniform, but i’ll tell u what, she WILL make that uniform look good, shes a good designer w what shes got

•the customer is never right when ur in her presence, shes very intentional w what she does

•if u wanna go the model route, its bc someone took a pic of her at work and it blew up n she got recognized by modeling agencies or somethin, shes def just got “that look”, curly prolly got it too tbh, someone take a pic of him and test the waters, they can be like a two for one deal typa twin models🗣️

[thequeenofcupps]

CHARLIE DOMPLER X FEM!SHY AND CHUBBY READER

a/n: I’m just gonna fuckin write this on my phone 😭 also I had to re-watch smiling friends

Also an anon requested this so enjoy anon!

Warning!!: insecurity, shit bag parents, swearing from me

☆ﾟOk so it’s no surprise that Charlie’s also chubby, I mean have you seen his fine ass? (Sorry), but he tries to get you more confident and that doesn’t just mean you being chubby it also means helping you get over being shy he helps you with social skills

Like if someone fucks up ur order he lets you try out some of those skills ( you chicked out, he helped you 😭)

☆ﾟ He likes to give you compliments that focus on your personality and interests that are more meaningful than those about your appearance.

He also supports you in anyway shape or form.

☆ﾟ although you may be shy, you treasure quiet moments of connection where you can open up and share your thoughts, feeling safe and valued.

He also likes when you also take the time to understand him, also probably don’t bring up the fact he saw aliens and satan AND Jesus

☆ﾟyou guys have a slight communication issue but yall try and work on it.

But don’t worry you both send each other encouraging or notes saying stuff like “look hot today babe!” And other stupidly cute shit like that

☆ﾟhe likes to brag about you too Alan, glep and pim, also since he doesn’t shut up about you Mr. Boss also hears about you like all of them are TIREDDD of him yapping on and on and onnn about you

☆ﾟalso since he goes to the gym he likes to pick you up despite your protests

☆ﾟhe has THE BIGGEST BEEF WITH UR PARENTS, ok so back story you’ve been chubby even when u were a kid (but just slightly) so ur parents just brushed it off as baby fat, AND THOSE FUCK ASSES they fucking treated you like shit when you were a teen, like saying ignorant shit like “oh ur still fat? Maybe try losing weight sweetheart!” Or like “maybe you should start eating less baby!” LIKE HE FUCKING HATES THEYRE ASSES CUZ FUCK THEM UP THE ASS

☆ﾟ also you know that weird eye thing that he does when he’s scared, or shocked? He does that when you say something mean about yourself and then practically fucking screams in ur face about how you’re more than what stupid shit you just said abt ur self

A/n: I’m sorry if this was short I ran out of stuff to write 😭

[ranposgirlboss]

rubs my hands all maniacally😍

a little birdie told me that your requests are open!

i was thinking abt the bsd boys reacting to a s/o that eats the weirdest food combinations LMAO

i eat cheese puffs and hot sauce aND WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I ATE APPLES WITH KETCHUP BAHAH

anyways that’s all 🙏

BAJUAHJSGVHSABJGASHJBSAGHVSBJGASBHJ BRO IF U LIKE THAT EAT APPLES AND SOYSAUCE ITS SO BANGER!!! THE SWEET AND SALTY SAVOURY FEEL >>>> also popcorn and ketchup is so real

ALSO PROPS TO MY BESTIE FOR HELPING ME WITH SOME OF THESE IDEAS!! (mainly poes) THANK HER IN YOUR HEARTS BC SHE DOESNT HAVE AN ACC ON HERE!!!

i HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THESE OMG

chara list: tecchou, jouno, ranpo, poe and dazai,

GENRE: FLUFF >:))

i made them all little skrunklies in this >:))

-------------------------

TECCHOU

-IM SORRY IF I SPELLED THAT HORRIBLY WRONG I ALWAYS CALL HIM KATCHOW (-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩___-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩-̩̩̩)

-omg yall would be married instantly

-he has the papers signed

-FINALLY SOMEONE WHO WILL TRY SOME OF HIS COMBINATIONS!!!

-feels so understood

-if you ask him to try ur combos, HE WILL ALWAYS ACCEPT. A FELLOW WEIRD FOOD LOVER IN ARMS IS IN NEED OF HIS ASSISTANCE, AND HE CANNOT REFUSE.

-WOULD TAKE YOU OUT ON DATES AND GET EXTREMELY CONCERNED LOOKS FROM WAITERS.

-has had to protect you from jounos plots of world domination against weird food lovers and plots to murder you

-yall have a list of ur favorite food.

-so sexy

JOUNO

-(he looks so cute as a skrunkle anyways)

-haha

-run.

-dont even try to sneak it with him. he may be blind, but his other senses are at their prime and HE IS READY TO THROW HANDS

-"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ONE TECCHOU WAS HARD ENOUGH I DONT NEED TWO GOD DAMN."

-might actually throw hands with you, like HELL JUST SMACK THE FOOD OUT OF YOUR HAND AND BE LIKE "n o ."

-so silly in theory but when he actually does slap it away it makes you want to beat him up so bad

-YOURE ASS BEST BE GLAD HE LOVES YOU OR HE WOULDVE TRIED TO KILL YOU AT LEAST 5 TIMES

-ugh i love the sassy skrunkle (ignore the fact he can kill you instantly)

RANPO

-WITH HIM, it all depends.

-it depends on how it tastes.

-because if it tastes actually good, HE WILL BE SO HAPPY

-"i knew you had good taste Y/N (人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+"

-if it tastes bad to him tho...

-HE WOULD BE SO BETRAYED

-would look like you just insulted his entire bloodline real

-"Y/N, how DARE YOU MAKE ME, THE GREATEST DETECTIVE, TRY THIS."

-it would take a long amount of sorries and sweets to get him to forgive you.

POE

-ok ok so listen

-would probably see you eating the weird ass shit, blink a few times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, then go back to reading

-if you asked him to try it, he would be like "oh sorry i just ate a 5 course meal Y/N" (he's a terrible liar)

-but with him, you could probably convince him to try it 😈

-theres a very high chance he hates it, i know we don't know what their eating habits are like, but poe gives off picky vibes...

-would probably be like "w-wow Y/N thats uhm...that's really good for you Y/N................"

-would never try it again </3

DAZAI

-NGL HE WOULD HAVE WEIRD TASTE BUDS TOO

-I MEAN BRO LITERALLY ATE DOG FOOD AS IF IT WAS A CASUAL TUESDAY

-i feel like he would at least try them, and if he didn't like them, he would CHUCK THOSE BITCHES

-more as a joke then an actual insult, UNLIKE SOMEONE (jouno)

-swears hell pay for them after (he never does)

-one day you threaten to throw him across the room like your damn food he keeps throwing

-he threw extra food that day

-would beg convince you to try dog treats (fun author fact: i used to eat dog food when i was a kid. it sucked ass but i was hungry)

-YALL WOULD DO THOSE CHALLENGES WHERE YOU PUT RANDOM FOOD IN A BLENDER AND SEE HOW IT WOULD TEST.

-honestly just another way to bond with you

----------------------------------------

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THANKS FOR READING THIS SILLY THING I WROTE AND THANKS FOR REQUESTING ♡(ӦｖӦ｡). I ALWAYS CAN ACCEPT MORE REQS!!!! TYSM!!!!

i forgot to add tags the first TIME I POSTED BAHAJVGBHASGVGASUHJASVGHJABSJ

[intertexts]

RUNS INTO UR ONBOX!! ok i wil ltalk 2 u about the wards today <3 sniles!!! setting aside the torment nexus and giving u a fun question. do u think any of them sleep with stuffed animals?? like before they all started sleeping in the same bed in a big indistinguishable tangle of limbs at least!!!! i had a beautiful image in my head of one of them buying virion a big weighted cat plushie and him sleeping better than he has in a while just Having something to hold...... i'm being kind to the wards today i'm giving them blankets and stuffed animals and hot chocolate and forehead kisses <3 if any of them did sleep with stuffed animals what animals do u think they would each have. would some of them have mountains of plushies?? would some of them have one (1) single plushie they have slept with for their entire lives and would sooner rip their own arm off than get rid of?? discuss 🎤

OUHHHHHHHGH MAN I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SOOO MUCH................ insane question to make me feel insane kinds of ways. you cannot be fucking making me think about pre-canon wards. that's so fucked up of you.

virion i think had SO many plushies he used to sleep with SO many of them. so many aunts & uncles 2 give them to him!!!! he never saw any like, contradiction between being Cool and Professional like his family & having 1 million little guys neatly arranged on his bed (they all have Names they all have Stories they all have a specific place they live etc). um. after the everything... he brought One with him. it has to be a little beanie baby panther (small + light + nondescript + easy to stuff in a zipped pocket and forget about) that his mom got him on just like. a grocery store run (exciting grocery store run! he doesnt go out a ton when he's little!!) & he fell in love with in the little kid way & of course his mom got it for him. he's little and small & he's got that soft black hair that he's maybe just starting to grow out a little. (hasn't dyed it yet!) reminds her of him :] so. that's the little guy he keeps through everything. she lives in his favorite leather jacket pocket because he's afraid of losing her in the night or like, u know, having to get up in a hurry and forgetting her or someone taking her while he's asleep. he would rather rip his own arm off than get rid of her!!!

after the everything + him joining the wards... god... yeagbh... give that boy big ass weighted plushie......... give him something to hold very tightly to his chest at night........... i think he's suuper picky about them too. like whether they're cute or not. he would Not ever fucking buy one for himself that's stupid. he has priorities. but definitely wibby (favorite hobby virion watching & taking notes) like... figures out what he likes (passing a toy store in the mall going aww thats cute! virion voice nooo those eyes are so creepy.... wibby will remember that! etc) & they just Appear on his bed every so often. it's dakota's idea in the first place though. he likes cats a lot. & horses. & weird little souvenir animals that dakota brings him back. no he doesn't feel things about it no it doesn't remind him of his family or make him feel like a little kid in a good way again.

dakota ABSOLUTELY sleeps with stuffed animals. he has like.... a couple frm alaska that he treasures very much. he's one of those kids who always wanted a pet & couldn't have one & just pretended his stuffed animals were alive & took such good care of them... he kinda grew out of them or at least Thought He Should Grow Out of Them in high school & besides he was busy and out all day getting put on academic suspension and being normal amounts of reckless and stuff. he still brought them all under the blankets with him whenever he went to sleep though. they're very old and kinda fucked up & he loves them a lot.

after he joins the wards. he would literally never think about buying himself any? that's like, so far from crossing his mind. he's out here going holy shit i can take long hot showers without thinking about the water bill now??? i don't have to worry about having enough money for groceries? i have FRIENDS??? dakota "never gives himself anything other than the bare minimum he needs to function" cole etc. william starts getting him plushies after he and will start getting them for virion. he amasses a fucking Collection. SO many. a lot of pokemon ones a lot of like, cute shit. they make him extremely happy they spark such joy. internalize that you deserve shit for fun and just because it's nice idiot! well i know you won't but i'll keep telling you anyway. etc.

wibby leaves most of his at home in deadwood but i think he has a couple that he's like, really embarrassed about for a while. type of guy to hide them under his pillow. he has like,,,,,,,,,,,, specific animal plushies. extinct fishes and bugs and bears and shit. a couple cryptid ones from his friends who he doesnt talk to anymore & leaves home. he's the type of guy to have some of those giant fucking plush microbes. they all have Names and he refers to them all By Name and such.

it would be SOOOO easy 2 say ashe is a 1 fucking million plushies guy. this was my first thought. i actually don't think he is though... i think he has one or two little animal ones that he's had like, as long as he's been Alive. from mark. none from his mom. who he sleeps holding every nigh & are incredibly important to him.... (kittycat probably. maybe like. dinosaur. etc.) he has Some but they're mostly like fucking... skelanimals. also the plush microbes i feel strongly about this. extremely weird looking off market ebay shit. etc. he's the guy who sits on virions bed holding one of virions huge plushies in his lap though.