Um.... I found a random quote generator
Cat king: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person.
Charles: Actually, Edwin is my favourite.
Cat king: Okay then, it is I, that bitch.
Edwin: Do you have a self-care routine?
Jenny: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.
Charles : Do you guys want to see a butterfly?
Niko: Ooh, yes please!
Jenny, with their laptop open: I'm not going to stop working to look at a stupid bug!
Charles: It's not a bug though...
Jenny: ...
Niko: ...
Jenny: Well I still don't want to see.
Niko, realizing: Please don't throw-
Charles : Whee! *throws a stick of butter*
Monty: Edwin keeps forgetting which WiFi network they're supposed to use.
Monty: So I renamed ours to "Edwin, use this one" to help them out a little.
Charles: How would you like your coffee?
Crystal : As dark and as bitter as my soul.
Charles, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!
Cat king: Fuck you.
Esther : No u.
Cat king: I'm down.
Esther : You're like 2, what the fuck-
Cat king: I AM NOT 2!
Cat king: Monty is a strings kid. We must sacrifice them to the band gods.
Charles: Yes.
Crystal : You're right. It'd be a good initiation for me.
Monty: Wait, guys, what about the truce we signed-
Charles: What truce?
Cat king: *sigh* The truce that we must destroy all the choir kids and leave the strings alone.
Esther : Wait, I'm a choir kid!
Everyone else: *prepares for sacrifice*
Squad reactions to being called straight:
Jenny: The fuck, no I'm not.
Edwin : Excuse the hell out of you?
Cat king: Ding dong, you are wrong!
Charles: Who told you that? And why did they lie?
Niko: Rude.
Esther : *punches the person*
Cat king: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!
Esther : At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.
Cat king: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?
Esther : Somehow that's worse
Jenny: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?
Monty: What makes a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
Edwin: A stab wound.
Jenny: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos.
Monty: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard.
Niko: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos?
Crystal : Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.
Niko: I just want someone to take me out.
Crystal : On a date?
Cat king: With a sniper gun?
Esther : Both if you're not a coward.
Esther : OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE!
Monty: *Climbing* THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!
Cat king: Is this mistletoe?
Edwin: Uh, no, no, that is basil.
Cat king: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you.
Edwin: Yeah, no, it’s still basil.
Charles: You know what’s funny about Edwin? They’re my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt them is someone I’d murder, probably.
Charles: I’ve only had Edwin for a day and a half but if anything happened to them I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Cop: What are your names?
Esther: Don't tell them, Cat king.
Cop, writing: Cat king...
Esther: Crap.
Cat king: Nice going, Esther.
Cop:
Cat king: Uh oh.
Monty: I’m taking a look at your numbers, and it doesn’t look good. You have a lot of measurements. Quite a few variables.
Charles: Is that… bad?
Monty: Variables are the #1 risk factor for outcomes. The past is a big contributor to the future.
Charles: Isn’t that just causality?
Monty: Causality is the leading cause of death in this country.
Charles: So what are my odds?
Monty: Do you have a family history?
Charles: Of what?
Monty: Just, in general.
Charles: …Yes?
Monty: Oh no.
Niko, texting Edwin : *sends a voice message*
Edwin , texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?
Niko: No, don’t worry, just listen later.
*later*
Edwin : *presses play*
Niko's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-
Monty: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.
Esther , used to Monty being dumb: Sure...
Monty: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.
Esther : Okay?
Monty: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.
Esther :
Monty: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-
Esther : Jesus, that one is a little-
Jenny, interested: No, no, Monty, keep going.
Crystal : But we’re friends! I was building up to calling you a nickname soon!
Edwin: That’ll never happen! In fact, you just lost “Edwin” privileges. From now on, you can call me by my last name or ‘Hey, you.’.
Crystal : Come on, Edwin.
Edwin: *glares*
Crystal : Come on, Hey you.”
Crystal : That shirt looks great, Charles.
Charles: Thanks.
Crystal : But I bet it would look even better on Edwin's floor.
Edwin: Are you hitting on Charles... for me?
Cat king: What do we think of Monty?
*pause*
Charles: *sighs* Nice pal.
Crystal : I think they're gay.
Esther : What am I supposed to do?
Monty: If I were you? I’d try and make peace with whatever deity, pantheon, or Divine Other you believe in.
Esther : I’m an atheist.
Monty: Then just get ready to die I guess
*playing twister*
Crystal : Right hand red.
Charles: *ends up on top of Edwin *
Edwin: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Crystal : I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice
Cat king: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?
Edwin: We're chopsticks!
Cat king: Well... that's cute!
Cat king: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?
Charles: No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.
Monty: Do you want to play 20 Questions?
Edwin: Sure!
Edwin: Whats your favorite color?
Monty, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like men?
Edwin: I love the term 'partners'. Are we dating? Are we robbing a bank? Are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? Who knows
Cat king, to Esther : All right, let’s tell each other a secret about ourselves. I’m going to go first– I hate you.
Cat king: I’m a bad person, I’m a very bad person, I’m a horrible person.
The Squad:
Cat king: No you’re not, Cat king! We still love you, Cat king!
Esther : This should be illegal!
Jenny: It is.
Jenny: What scares you guys the most?
Charles: Werewolves!
Niko: Sharks.
Edwin: The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us all towards an inevitable death.
Monty:
Monty: Edwin.
Charles: What do you think Cat king will do for a distraction?
Edwin: They'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Edwin: ...or they could do that.
Charles: Pfft, you should meet Niko, they're such a tsundere.
Monty: They... they just stabbed you.
Charles: So cute.
Cat king: All in all, a 100% successful trip.
Niko: But we lost Esther .
Cat king: All in all, a 100% successful trip!
*Cat king falls over*
Monty: Cat king! Are you alright?
Cat king: Is that you, God?
Monty: What?
Cat king: It's just, you sound a lot more like Monty than I expected.
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A sensitive topic, but useful information
If you have a uterus, etc., and are dysphoric enough about it that you don't go to the gyno, here's a thing I learned this week that may come in handy one day, if you start having pain or other symptoms from that department:
There's a way you can at least get started on having all those organs checked out, without taking your pants off.
It's called a transabdominal pelvic ultrasound--you lay down, fully clothed, and just pull up your shirt as far as your ribcage, and undo your fly and push your trousers/underwear down to your hipbones. (And if you still feel too exposed, you can get a drape for the parts of your abdomen they aren't working on at any given moment.)
The technician goes over you with the little wand-thing (like you see on TV when pregnant people are getting a scan of the fetus); it takes a while, but it doesn't feel like much of anything.
Note: It's common, if you possess the relevant anatomy, for them to do what's called a transvaginal pelvic ultrasound along with the transabdominal one--that does indeed involve taking your pants off (and worse). It gives a better view of the ovaries, apparently, and it can be more convenient for them to go ahead and do that at the same appointment. But both my doctor and the technician who did the test were completely understanding and familiar with the concept that someone might not be up for that. All I had to do was hint to my doctor that I wasn't comfortable with the internal, and she said that was fine, we'd just do the transabdominal scan, and if that didn't provide enough information we'd talk about options based on whatever the findings were.
(The person at the central scheduling hotline, on the other hand, was kind of confused and kept trying to schedule me for the other thing, but honestly, I got the impression she was either very new to the job or just not the sharpest crayon in the box, bless her heart. Once I got in the room with the technician, she immediately grasped the situation and everything was fine.)
So it was all very easy and nontraumatic, and I probably should have had it done ages ago*. If you possess those organs, and are having pain or other symptoms in them that you've been hesitating to bring up** to a doctor because you're not comfortable having an internal exam, there are options available--hopefully your doctor will suggest it right off the bat, like mine did, but if not you can ask for it by name: transabdominal pelvic ultrasound.
(*I've got ovarian cysts, which is common and usually not a big deal, but if I'm reading the report correctly, mine are really quite surprisingly large. I haven't actually talked to the doctor about the results yet; with the holiday weekend it'll probably be Tuesday before I hear back.)
(**I didn't bring up the subject; the doctor felt something when she was palpating my abdomen during a routine physical, because of how fucking huge this cyst is. I should have brought it up.)
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Throughout the entire game, who do you think are some of the most underrated or under-appreciated characters?
stumbling into the askbox whyyy hello there!!! it had been a while!!
OKAY SO. let's start from one fact: every. single. character has something special about them. so like the easy answer is... anyone, lmao. truth be told we (the whole community) has been around for llke, 18 years (WOAH) and some sides are completely unexplored. even just from the idea that... have you guys ever noticed how little content there is around about nerds and jocks, for exmple? and i don't only mean art but also writing, analysis, metas, thoughts and such. not to mention the townies, the townies, when, having some of them been given some actually adult attributes, there would be a lot to unpack.
i feel like this is a) mostly for the nerds, that the rightful fisgust for the horrible thing they did to mandy discourages a lot from engaging with them as characters too, and b) because they are quite overshadowed by the fan favorite preps and greasers. which, i mean, very legit. but i think that they do have a lot of potential, again, in terms of characterization and themes, and i feel like we are collectively missing out on a lot.
and there's also the fact that, even with the fan-favorites, there is so little tapping into the more serious and sometimes mature aspects. i wouldn't say christy is neglected by the fandom, but it's not often that i read someone talking about her repressed anger that explodes whenever she feels too much, that heirloom of her father that of curse she doesn't have, she isn't a problem boy like her brother, what do you mean with that, i could use this tie to strangle you goddammit! or vance, that we all love as the sunshine jokester of the greaser and heartbreaker queer icon, but how come none of us ever mention him having a canonical addiction, and what if his messy dating habits have to do with that, too? what if he's running from something inside himself, rushing to next best thing just so he can feel something?
but this is just me rambling as an introduction oops. so, just trying to list a couple of my favorites:
thad carlson (& dan wilson) (putting them together bc they're intrinsecally connected and while i do stand by the fact that he's wildly underappreciated in the fandom i would hit dan in the face with a brick): i would lterally give my first born for these two. they are what they actually wanted to write when they wrote about cain and abel.
i'm not sure what is the exact reason why they have different last names, and i don't wanna enter headcanon territory here. what it does unavoidably indicate, though, is that they were doomed from the start. like it was written in their names.
so, picture this: they were in the nerds together. they suffered the bullying, the abuse together. the humiliation tasted like blood in their mouths and shone like the stars they'd see with their heads smashed in a locker, but at least they knew their brother would've been there to hold them.
there's something very visceral about suffering together with a brother. like the blood they share creates somewhat of a shell, one that can protect them from what is outside, that can give them the comfort that they will never be alone. whether they like it or not, their brother will forever be with them; it's inside them.
except that thad had the rage of a wounded animal; dan had the fear of a small prey.
so, while thad kept standing tall and proud and chin high against his bullies, dan started training and morphing until he could be accepted in the jocks.
dan wasn't the bullied anymore. he was the bully. while his brother was still on the other side of the war- the side of the eternal losers, that is. the side that, no matter how many battles they will win, they will always be at a disadvantage.
so thad has got all the hurt of having been betrayed by a half of himself, like the phantom pain of a lost limb. and the hurt makes him angrier and angrier and when he wants to take revenge on the jocks his brother is the first target he wants, because, see, he is the victim, his brother is cain who has killed abel.
but also dan has got his head on backwards to look out for enemies and for anyone who might uncover him as the fraud he is, the way he just thought- they are just bullying me for what i am, so what if i become someone different? except that it's not like he didn't feel like a loser anymore, he just feels like a loser with a football sweater.
so at that point you look at the direction of that violence, at where the anger and the resentment lies, and you stop there and wonder. who's cain there? who's gonna be the victim, who the executioner? like nathaniel orion said, "i want to kill him sometimes. i think sometimes he wants to die". i love them ur honor.
otto tyler: i have no literal idea why there is so so so little about him. admittedly, content about townies is in gnereal harder to track down, since they have... no last names.... for the most part. but the otto tag is absolutely desolated.
this boy is what you'd call too angry to be this young. his first response to anything is extreme violence and fantasies of it. playing his audios you will be met with die, kill, die, kill, kill, die, die. and all of his vitriol is poured on the school, like they have all come together specifically to hunt him down. and he's been canonically hospitalized, as well; when you walk in the asylum for the first time (galloway away i believe) he tells you not to "anger the watcher"- but who is this watcher? the composition of the scene seems to implies it is the statue in the courtyard; the most coherent correspondence would be the orderlies you will have to avoid as you walk past them; maybe otto himself has just been told not to anger the watcher by the people who are supposed to take care of him, but that are just playing with his mind to make him too afraid not to behave. which, incidentally, doesn't sound too different from what he might have suffered at school.
otto will ask you if you have ever punched a wall. he will swear he hates everyone in the school, that everyone in the school hated him, he will threaten to destroy it.
otto is a landmine, he's an unstable kid who just needed some ground to stand on, and instead they placed him all alone on a shaking earth. all is anger is desperation, it's having spent too much time without a support system, too much time bound -to a chair, in a cell, in a straitjacket- surrounded by people who couldn't understand him. who stifled his expression instead of channeling all the feelings he had all the time, exploding and intense in an overwhelming and violent way.
i like to think of him as an artist. he mentions tattoos; i like to imagine he's learning to do them himself. that he's finding that as an outlet for his expression.
and yeah overall. i am a lot fond of otto, and i think he would have a lot to say.
mr. wiggins: look, this guy is super unlucky. he's the only teacher with no class minigame; he's only ever walking around, and if you saw him you probably mistook him for the more familiar mr. matthews. but believe me when i tell you he's a real one.
example 1: when someone snithces to him, he says something along the lines of "thank you, but i will never be able to trust you again". BRO. let me tell you, in 1968 this guy was OUT on his college campus and he was MARCHING and RIOTING with workers and students. he even mentions having spent a night or two in JAIL.
he will walk into class and say the nastiest things about reagan while he keeps saying that as a teacher he will have to be politically neutral as if he didn't just have a fight with hattrick about socialism.
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