#someone should do a study on that actually. not sure it's healthy

[gideonisms]

It's so funny whenever someone discovers that people like to have emotions about fictional characters recreationally and like loses their mind. what, people are actually lusting for the undescribed tits of ianthe tridentarius on the internet?? that's so weird no one has ever been horny on the internet before!

[asinglesock]

just realized my fatal flaw and the great struggle of possibly the rest of my life. while watching a cdrama.

[delirious-donna]

There’s A Girl In My Tub [Part Two]

story summary: Your best friend lets you crash at her place over the spring break since you have nowhere else to go. Little did you know that it isn't actually her place. Instead, it belongs to a tall (grumpy) hot guy who finds you in his apartment–her brother.

chapter summary: Kento walks in on a woman he doesn't know neck-deep in his bath. What is he meant to do now?

pairing: Nanami Kento x female reader

warnings: reader described as having hair that can be put in a ponytail, SFW

Part One | Series Masterlist | Part Three

The mistake was clear from the second he lunged inside the bathroom. Where he had presumed to find his younger sister submerged in his tub, sat a woman he did not know splashing and spluttering from both the shock of being jump scared and the bubbles that shot up your nose.

Kento wasn’t sure what his predominant emotion was, whether it be complete mortification for interrupting someone bathing or indignant anger at the complete stranger using his apartment like some kind of luxury hotel.

“Who the fuck are you?” The stranger half yelled, half spluttered.

Realisation dawned on him like icy dread spider walking up his spine. What had meant to be a practical joke was no longer looking so funny.

“You’re not Karin…” He said matter-of-factly.

At this point, he was simply stating the obvious. What he found interesting was the comprehension that he could see illuminated in your eyes. You might not be Karin, but you knew who she was. The connection between the two of you was what he needed to establish next, or well… after he found out your name.

“I’m Nanami Kento, and you’re in my bath. Who are you?”

His eyebrow cocked in a mixture of continued annoyance and the first hint of curiosity. Given that you were familiar with his sister meant you weren’t some crazy intruder, not that he thought that in the first place given your luggage in his room and the fact that you couldn’t have gained access without a keycard and code.

You offered your name in no more than a timid squeak, and he didn’t recognise it. He huffed a tired exhale and turned towards the door to give you a modicum of privacy. His mouth opened to speak, but you beat him to the punch, silencing him effectively with your more confident tone.

“Look, can we not hash this out whilst I am naked in your bath? Give me ten minutes, and I’ll meet you in the living area,” you enthused, hands gesticulating wildly. It sent a flurry of bubbles into the air which Kento watched before giving a curt nod of agreement and stalking out without uttering another word.

He needed a drink in the worst possible way, even if it was only early afternoon. It was going to be entirely necessary to indulge in his top-shelf liquor to help with his current predicament.

Once more, he glanced at the haphazardly packed case open on his bed. This time studying the contents a little more closely. Perhaps he should have considered doing this earlier, as one glance was enough to confirm that even the style of clothing was so unlike his sister, not to mention the stuffed animal, which he guessed resembled a bunny rabbit despite its ragged appearance. Karin hadn’t been one for stuffed toys, preferring dolls and the pretty furniture to fill ornate dollhouses growing up.

Speaking of his dearly beloved sibling, Kento fished his phone from his pocket as he made his way back to the kitchen. He cradled it between his ear and shoulder whilst selecting a crystal tumbler and a bottle of scotch. The ringing went to voicemail. Of course, it did.

“Karin, call me. I don’t appreciate surprises, and you owe me an explanation.” He kept it short and sweet, his specialty. He pushed the phone across the kitchen island and turned to lean his back against the pantry door.

What the hell was going on? He mused silently, swirling the dark amber contents of his glass before bringing it to his lips and swallowing a healthy mouthful. The liquor coated his teeth and burned his throat as it slid into his mostly empty stomach.

Everything had happened in such a rush that he couldn’t even picture your face as he waited. He hadn’t thought to get a good look at you, not when the circumstances were so intimate–vulnerable even. Not for the first time today, his palm scrubbed down his face. What must you think of him? You were this–he floundered for a moment in thinking of how to accurately describe you–young woman, naked and trapped in a room with one exit. An exit that he had blocked with his body.

He groaned, pressing the cool crystal tumbler to his temple and rolling it across his forehead. This was exactly the type of situation you saw in horror movies, except he wasn’t some crazed killer on the hunt for young virgins or any young women for that matter, but he would understand if you were fearful of him. It would only be logical.

As if summoned by thought alone, the soft pad of your socks alerted Kento that you had finished with the bath. He glanced sideways, eyeing the simple black leggings and an oversized sweater emblazoned with the logo of Karin’s college, and some pieces of the puzzle fell neatly into place.

Your hair was mostly dry except for the ends that had been splashed by the unexpected dunking they had received, the strands tied loosely into a ponytail that softened the stern expression plastered across your features.

Standing with the kitchen island between you as if it afforded you some semblance of protection, Kento tried not to smile when you folded your arms across your chest and tilted your chin in his direction. The sleeves of your sweater engulfed your arms so completely that only the tips of your fingers showed. He admired your courage in the face of a stranger, a male one at that, and one that could likely impose his height and weight against you if he so inclined. Sure, he admired it, but it was also incredibly dumb.

“Did you enjoy your soak?” He asked, taking another sip of scotch to hide the quirk of his lips.

Your eyes narrowed. Damn, he hadn’t felt amusement like this in the longest time. Some would claim that he didn’t have a funny bone in his body, but they were wrong. Kento simply didn’t entertain cheap humour, and this situation was far from bargain basement.

“I was. That is until this massive oaf leapt inside screaming like a maniac and scaring the life out of me.”

That was enough to wipe the smile from his face. Kento straightened and set his tumbler down. He ran a hand through his hair and endeavoured to end this charade right here and now. To hell with the fact that you amused him, he didn’t know you from Adam.

“How do you know Karin? And I am not an oaf, for the record,” he added with what sounded even to him as a touch of petulance.

You rolled your eyes. “She’s my friend, maybe even best friend, actually. We go to the same college, different majors though. How do you know her? Are you her dad or something?”

It was Kento’s turn to narrow his eyes. He could see it for what it was, a direct jab at him, but you didn’t truly believe he could possibly be her father, or at least he hoped not!

You picked at your nails whilst the silence lingered on. He debated whether to rise above your petty attempts at riling him, but something stopped him. Kento was the level-headed one, always reasonable, however, something about you crept beneath his skin.

“Can’t be that much of a best friend if you don’t even know that she has a brother… that would be me, by the way. Hi. I’m the brother, and this is my apartment. I do hope this is some kind of elaborate joke.”

Sure enough, his aim was true. Your face crumpled at the truth he laid out so cruelly. Instead of feeling some sense of triumph for gaining the upper hand, he resigned to the guilt settling heavily in his chest. He almost rubbed at his heart but stopped at the last second.

Why did he care? That’s what he really wanted to know. Yes, you were cute. He was a man after all, he could appreciate your soft feminine features, but he was hardly known as a man who sought out the company of the opposite sex often.

Kento pinched the bridge of the nose. It was upsetting to watch you fold in upon yourself like this, your shoulders hunched inward and your head bowed low. He cared, and that was surprising. He wished for that spark of confidence to ignite again, longing to kick himself for being the one to douse it in the first place.

“I’m… I’m sorry. That was cruel of me, but you did call me her dad!” He tried to rationalise his outburst, and he was glad when your head snapped up to scrutinise him. “We’ve started on the wrong foot. Can you blame me for acting a little irrational? I’ve never found an intruder in my home before, let alone a naked one in my bath. Why are you here?”

Without a word, you stretched out a hand for his near-empty glass, swallowing down the remnants in one gulp. You hissed through your teeth, dancing on the spot whilst the potent alcohol slid into your belly to warm you. Kento cocked his eyebrow but chose to remain silent.

He had so many questions. Why you were here in his home was curiously not at the top of the pile, but it seemed inappropriate to be querying your age and probing your interests at this point in the conversation. Not to mention, you were his sister’s friend, nothing more.

Nothing more, Kento.

“Well, your darling sister told me this was her place, and that it was empty right now. Clearly, neither part was true, and I will be taking that up with her as soon as she answers her damn phone!”

“Hm, so Karin is avoiding your calls too. Curious.”

You blew out a long breath, the strands of hair framing your face dancing around and… Kento glanced away, refusing to acknowledge the desire to fix them behind your ear.

“Aren’t you on spring break? Why aren’t you shacked up in some overly loud and raucous resort? I’m certain that’s where Karin will be right about now.” Kento rolled his eyes at even thinking about it. He well remembered his years in college and how he loathed this time of year. It was his idea of hell.

Scrunching your nose in distaste, you walked around the edge of the kitchen island and hopped up to sit yourself closer to him. Again, he cursed your trust. He could be lying to you. He could have nefarious intent. So why did it make him want to protect you all the more?

“No thanks. I’d rather catch up on some classes and prepare for the new semester, but…” You trailed off, eyes lowering to your fingers which continued to fidget incessantly–an annoying habit he noted.

“But what?” Kento got the sense that he wasn’t going to like your answer much. He braced for it, both palms flush on the marble countertop and coaxing you into maintaining his steady eye contact.

“I don’t have anywhere else I can go. My parents are renovating, and I can’t afford to rent a place for two weeks, at least not somewhere actually habitable.”

Kento froze as the weight of your words washed over him. There was a chance that Karin was truly being a good friend since she had been aware of the business trip he was meant to be on right now. It would be so like her to help out a friend in need.

Was he meant to toss you out on your ass? He was within his rights, of course, but could his conscience allow it? It was obvious you weren’t lying or exaggerating to gain his favour, you looked just as uncomfortable telling him the truth as he did hearing it. This whole situation was a mess, and he didn’t see a clear way out of it.

Well, shit…

[darlingsfandom]

“Baby, there’s no other superstar!”

kinktober day nine.

pairing: AU Cillian Murphy x Stalker Fem Reader!

TW: stalking, illusion to drugging, virginity loss, p in v!

Authors note: I do not condone any sort of stalking! This is pure fiction!! Please don’t stalk celebrities !!

It was what you called a healthy obsession but that was a lie. He consumed your every thought, everything was about him and only him. You watched him from afar since he never noticed that you existed to him you were just another person that walked on this earth. You were nothing!

The obsession started when you were younger and grew each year since he was in the public eye. One of the hottest movie stars to exist for many reasons and you found yourself falling head over heels for him. Cillian was in the middle of a press tour that allowed him to be away and in your mind that meant he was yours. You had been following him from city to city making sure to blend in the best you could with the crowds because as much as you wanted him, it was not the time.

Cillian had heard rumors about some famous people get stalkers but he never thought he’d meet the day he’d actually have one of his own. He thought he might be going crazy at first because of course he’d be getting gifts right now since his new movie was out , but who sends flowers at one in the morning to someone’s hotel room? Who sends a blank note smelling of perfume under the door three nights later at midnight ? He let it slide at first until it kept happening at every hotel he was staying at.

He was now a month and a half into the tour and tonight was his night to rest. He had found himself down at the hotel bar sitting on the stool drinking his whiskey alone until you appeared.

“Is that seat taken?” Your voice was soft. Cillian looked up from his drink with an arched eyebrow before setting the glass down on his napkin. Your eyes were soft but something lurked behind them.

“No.” He was blunt. He watched how you carefully sat down next to him setting your purse on your lap with caution. His hands ran over his thighs, he had thought he was going crazy because he knew that smell filling his nostrils … it was the perfume from the notes he’d get in the middle of the night.

You turned to look at him but he was already looking at you, more like studying you to be fair but you shrugged it off. You had never actually been this close to him and your heart beat was in your ears as he ran his hand over his mouth. There was something he couldn’t place and maybe it was from the alcohol that he put his hand on your shoulder but he had.

“Are you okay?” You asked voice full of fake concern.

“Yeah yeah, probably drank me whiskey too fast.” He squeezed your shoulder making you smirk as you faced forward so he couldn’t see you.

Hours had passed when Cillian found himself waking up in his hotel room. He groaned loudly as he sat up to look around the dark room. His head was pounding and once again that perfume filled his nose and now he knew.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” You spoke out from the chair in the corner. “I must say you’re a heavy sleeper.” You flipped through some magazine that the hotel had provided.

“What the fuck?” He was awake now. Cillian went to stand up but realized you had tied his legs to the bed. “What the actual fuck?” His eyes went dark. You stood up and walked to him , the clicking of your heels alerted him in a way he couldn’t figure out.

“You seem upset, you should be thankful.”

“Thankful?? You crazy bitch! You clearly drugged me and brought me here.” He spat out making you furrow your eyebrows.

“Now that’s not very nice Cillian. I did not drug you nor have I harmed you in anyway.” Your fingers traced along his jawline that made you shiver. “You just don’t get it, I’m meant to be yours!” Cillians jaw tightened as he listened to you. “I’ve been following you for ages… I’ve been there for you all this time.” Your eyes dampened as you spoke.

He actually felt sorry for you. It was more pity than anything else.

“What exactly do you want from me?” He asked as you sat on the bed next to him.

“Love me.” You brushed your lips against his and at first he wanted to push you away and he could’ve since you never tied up his arms, but something about your pathetic kiss made him curious, it excited him and all the blood had rushed to his dick. It could’ve been the fact he hadn’t fucked anyone in a while and his hand could only do so much.

“How long? How long have you been following me like this?” He asked against your lips.

“Years my love , for five years I’ve always been there! Every red carpet event you went to, every photo shoot I’ve been there. Don’t you see how much I love you.” You pleaded while running your hand across his chest.

“You’ve been stalking me for five years?” His eyes went wide.

“Not stalking, that makes it sound so bad… admiring you baby, I’ve been admiring you.” Your lips pushed into his again making his head spin because this was wrong! He shouldn’t enjoy kissing his stalker but you were so young, so pretty and something about how pathetic you were well it was just as sick but he didn’t care in the moment.

His hands cupped your cheeks making you blush as his lips moved heavily against yours. Your lips parted slightly allowing his tongue access inside of your mouth. You whined which turned him on even more. All of this was wrong both of you knew it but this was what you’ve wanted all along. Cillian bit down on your bottom lip making you whimper while you put yourself on his lap. You could feel his hard on through his pants and you took your chance to grind against him making him groan.

Your hands ran down his chest to grab his shirt and pull it off before you ran your tongue over the exposed skin. That was a first for him. This was all a first for him. His hands rested on your hips helping guide you against his cock. His precum was leaking through his pants and you could feel it against your clothed core but your own wetness was pooling into the fabric. You lifted your lips enough to help pull down your panties, once the fabric was off you raised an eyebrow before shoving the wet part of the fabric in his mouth.

“Now you’re going to be a good boy for me.” Your words made him whine! He even surprised himself with that but the way you took back control so easily was a turn on. To be fair he liked when women had power and maybe that’s why he was giving into you so easily because yes you followed him, gave him gifts but you never harmed him or threatened anyone he cared about. He actually rationalized it while you rubbed your wet cunt against his clothed cock. He felt the sickness drip and it shouldn’t be so hot.

The way you used him for your own pleasure as he laid below you with your wet panties in his mouth it was pornographic. Your mouth hung open as small moans and whimpers escaped you, your hands reached down and ripped his underwear enough to pull out his hard cock. He sighed at the relief. When you slid the head of his cock into your pussy he whined at how tight you were.

“I’ve waited so long for this.” You sighed in pleasure as you sank all the way down onto his cock.

“Yer ungodly tight!” He hissed.

A small smirk appeared on your face as you sat on his cock. He laid below you watching how you slowly bounced on his cock and the dots connected in his head.

“Are ya virgin ?”

“Not anymore!” You ran your hands up his chest and played with his graying chest hair. “I knew I just couldn’t have any man take it, it had to be you. I just wanted you to love me.” Cillian couldn’t believe it , his cock was buried in his young stalkers virgin pussy! But it felt so good! You were that dedicated to him and that fucked up.

You ignored the pain from the stretching as you rode his cock. He held you for support and as long as he held you, you got what you wanted.

“Fuck I don’t think I’m going to last.” He moaned into your ear. To be fair you were close to your own orgasm.

“Cum in me! Please!” And that did it! The way you whined so softly, it was almost a begging sound and he squeezed your hips as his cum spilled inside of you.

“Fuck fuck fuck! It’s so warm!” You sighed in pleasure until your orgasm hit you hard in a way you never felt. Your hand gripped his arms as you looked down at him with pleading eyes. “Fuck!”

“Shh it’s okay!” He pulled you against his sweaty chest and ran his hand through your hair to calm you down. Here he was meeting his stalker, took your virginity at twenty seven years old and now is comforting you after you had admitted that you have been at it for five years. Cillian never once thought about you and now all he can do is think about you and what is going to happen from now on because now he’s fucked in more ways than one.

[howtofightwrite]

What do you think of the squishy wizard trope? Shouldn’t people that travel around and go “adventuring” have some baseline of athleticism?

So, we're back to a game design discussion, again.

The short version is, if it doesn't make sense to you, don't use it.

Squishy wizards are almost more of a gameplay consideration. If you have a game, and you're balancing ranged damage against melee damage, if your ranged damage units do enough damage, you can create a situation where melee damage straight up doesn't work. It's not viable. The 40k meme about the Tau comes to mind: “Sure, they suck in melee; too bad you'll never get there.”

If you tone down ranged unit's damage, that can easily create a situation where they become the ones who are irrelevant. Such was the experience of every level 1 Wizard in AD&D. Once in awhile, you can get into the perfect situation to end an encounter, but most of the time you're just biding your time until you get to level 5 and can learn to accidentally fireball your party's front line, but that is a long time from now.

If ranged units can do a lot of damage, they need to be fragile enough that you can remove them from the board. And the Tau comparison comes back to mind once again.

All of this combines to create a board environment, where melee fighters need to be tanky enough to get into combat and stay there. Ranged units need to be fragile enough that they can remove each other, deal enough damage to harass the melee units, without doing so much damage as to render them completely irrelevant to the board.

And, while you can build a story around that structure, you don't need to.

Gandalf isn't a fragile wizard. He's not some “book nerd,” who spent high school getting shoved into lockers. When the time comes, he goes toe to toe with a Balrog (or, the Balrog, whichever), and doesn't immediately die. He clearly manages to hold his own, in melee combat, with a massive monster. (In fairness, he's also not human. I mean, none of Tolkien's, “the race of men,” are conventionally human, but Middle Earth's Wizards are an entirely different race of beings.)

In a lot of games, solution is to give the frontline fighters a ridiculous amount of health. Now, I'm going to trash on D&D for a second, but consider that a 10th level Fighter should have somewhere around 94 - 114hp. Remember that critical hits represent some kind of significant injury. These are not just blows that connect with your armor and will leave a bruise, this is someone ran you through. Someone could crit on your fighter, with a long sword, and stab them in vital places at least 4, and probably 5 times, before it actually kills them. That's a comical amount of damage someone to suffer. (Now, granted, a 10th level character in D&D is basically a superhero. If you're thinking of Boromir's death in Jackson's Fellowship of the Rings, that is what it takes to put down a relatively high level fighter in D&D. Which is to say, hilarious amounts of abuse.)

If you signed up for that, cool. I'm not going to stop you. I'm not even going to tell you it's wrong. If you want to tear down a super-humanly powerful character through prolonged combat sequences, or due to attrition of multiple fights in quick succession, that works. I mean, hell, that's how DC killed Batman in the 90s.

If your wizard power fantasy is that a wispy intellectual gains cosmic power through hard academic study, cool. Again, that's entirely valid, and as I mentioned, it even fits into a power fantasy. If you were bullied as a teenager for your atypical interests, and habit of reading, here's a character that studies strange and esoteric subjects, and has real power as a result.

At the same time, it's entirely reasonable to have an averagely healthy mage, whether they study magic academically, or have some ingrained talent that they've honed, plop them down next to a veteran swordmaster who's fought in wars on nine continents with the scars to prove it, and while they may look a bit anemic in comparison to their buddy, is still in better shape than the average villager they interact with on a daily basis.

That's where I tend to land in all of this.

When you're creating characters for your writing, it can be helpful to assign them attributes. Now, I don't mean this in the literal RPG stat blocks. (I've tried that a few times, it doesn't really work for me.) But, just a few text descriptors (which, does sound like Fudge, come to think of it.) You might describe your mage as Smart, or Intellectual, Wise (or Absent Minded), Willful. You know, “wizard stuff.” If you describe your warrior as, Strong, Tough, Tenacious, and Cunning, you're not making the wizard squishy, you're making another character less squishy. A lot of the time, we set the base line by what other people are doing. It's reasonable to say your mage is less durable than your soldier. (Unless your mage has a reason to be that tough. Maybe they're from some frozen wasteland, and are just absolutely jacked from surviving in a hostile environment.) But, that comparison doesn't mean that your mage is deficient.

Now, on the other hand, frail characters can be interesting. You're taking out their ability to fight conventionally, so when they do start decisively ending situations, whether that's through their own creativity and guile, or sheer magical power, it can be very gratifying. And, to be clear, I am very fond of flawed characters, especially when they have to work within the framework of their flaws to find solutions, rather than just overcoming them through the power of love, friendship and mescaline.

When handled well, flaws are about creating limitations for how your characters can solve problems. These can also make your story more interesting. If you say, my character can't fight, (and you don't back down from that and just let them cheat so they can fight, because they're so goddamn special), they're going to need to find other solutions. That can result in a better, more interesting, and less predictable story.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’re already a Patron, thank you. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

[elletheactualmenace]

You Would do That for Me? - Pt. 4

Pairing: MCU!Peter Parker x Stark!fem!reader

Summary: Its finally Friday and Peter isn’t expecting what happens at your house.

Warnings: Mentions of physical assault (not in this chapter), Slight verbal bullying, swearing, suggestive (just a bit)

Word Count: 3.8k

a/n: Hello! Sorry this took so long, life has been crazy. I hope you like this part! Its getting exiting and the next part should be, if i write it correctly, more exciting. Enjoy!!

Thoughts = “Italicized dialogue”

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

After everything that happened during first period, Peter puts aside his work during his study hall to wrap his head around it. There is no way that what happened actually happened. Peter is stunned but finds it all hilarious at the same time. 

“What does this mean for us?” He thought. “Or maybe I’m looking too deeply into this…” Peter doesn’t want to admit how you defending him warms his heart and sends butterflies swarming in his stomach. He admires how you could be so brave, so bold without a mask. Without his mask he doubts he could do half the things he does as Spiderman. Not that you knew he was Spiderman, oh no. You don’t know, and he plans on it staying that way, at least for as long as he can.

He can’t imagine what would happen if you found out. What if- what if you got hurt, or- or die- No. He can’t think like that. You’re safe, everyone is safe. Besides, if you do find out, in some miraculous way, he assumes you’ll be pissed he didn’t tell you, but the whole hero thing won’t be new to you. For now, he pushes those “what ifs” out of his brain.

“I still can’t believe she said all that to defend me.” Peter thinks blushing with a giddy heart warmed smile. “God, she’s amazing.” 

He's astounded that anyone would do something like that for him. Sure, MJ and Ned did it too, but not in the way you defend him. He feels bad for feeling like this, but he just feels like there from different places, and they mean different things. Like you feel the need to defend him.

Peter doesn’t know if this should or will shift something in your relationship with him. But if something were to shift, he wants it to be for better, not in an awkward way. He wants this “relationship” to be just as healthy as a real one.

“For now, I guess, I’ll wait for her to talk about what happened. And when we do talk, I can say that this is what we both wanted. I can reassure both of us. It’ll be fine.” Peter concludes, just as the bell rings. He stands from his desk and heads over to the doors.

As he walks out of the class, he can feel all eyes on him. It messes with his senses and leaves him on edge. He just keeps walking. Even when he hears people whisper his name and yours and then some curse of astonishment. His hands tighten into fists as he holds onto the straps of his school bag. 

He feels a person walking up next to him silently and before he looks he can tell it’s you. Maybe it’s your perfume, or maybe it's just that happy feeling he gets in his heart when you're close.

He glances over to you and a small smile graces his lips. You both walk in silence. That is until Peter, with his enhanced hearing, overhears someone say something about Peter and you. He bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from curling into a ball in the middle of the hallway.

“Peter?” You ask and he whips his head to listen to you. “I just wanted to apologize about what I said in our first period.” 

“Oh.” Peter thinks, relieved that this conversation didn’t have to wait too long. He decides to lighten your anxious mood, and makes a stupid joke.

“What? That you think Luke Skywalker is lame? Because, really Y/n it doesn’t bother me as much as I led on.” Peter says with a smile. You smile at his comment.

“No, I mean with Flash. I realize we should have talked about it before I told him, because now everyone knows." You utter quietly. Peter hums, thinking of how to respond in a way that shows you he doesn’t mind but also doesn’t show you that he thought what you said and did was incredible and brave and amazing and-

“And also all the other stuff I said when he was there." You add on quickly. Peter stays quiet, still contemplating what to say. Finally, he comes up with a good response.

"It's fine Y/n. Honestly it was really cool of you to do that for me." Peter is surprised at how cool and calm he sounds, because on the inside he’s got butterflies invading every corner of his stomach.

“Really?” You ask a little surprised.

"Yeah, and I mean, this is what we wanted right? Everyone to know?" He tries, repeating what he’s been telling himself all day. 

A thought passes over him like a wave slapping him in the face. “Ask her about the thing,” he thinks to himself. “Now is the perfect time.” He reasons, as he gathers up the courage to ask you.

"On that thought, I can't remember, umm, how do I say this?" Suddenly his tone switches to one of seriousness.

"You know how you are helping me with Flash?" Peter whispers so no one in the hallway will hear him. His brows furrow as his face fills with concern.

"Well, I feel like a real ass for not remembering, but what exactly am I trying to help-" 

The ringing of the bell cuts him off, annoyingly. He watches as you pull your phone out quickly checking the screen. And you give him an apologetic smile.

"Can we talk later? I have a history test to get to." You say, and he can tell you don’t want to leave. He knows you feel bad. But he also understands how important tests are and sighs sadly.

"Oh, umm yeah, of course." Peter mumbles out, he’s annoyed and a little disappointed but gets it.

"See you later." He says you both walk to your classrooms. He’ll just have to ask you about it later. But soon. He promises himself. Just in case he’s helping you with something bigger than what you're helping him with. That’s what scares him. But as he continues walking he tries to reassure himself.

”oh, good luck!” Peter awkwardly calls after you. People eye him with second hand embarrassment. He rubs the back of his neck, sighing

“Look, it's the smartass’s new boyfriend, penis Parker.” Peter hears someone whisper and then giggles follow. He dips his head, trying to sink into the floor. God, he hates how mean people are. He doesn’t care about himself, he's used to the dumbass nicknames. But for someone to make fun of you makes his blood boil. You’re too kind and- and pretty to be made fun of. He doesn’t understand. 

Peter wills himself to let it go as he walks to his next class.

——

He really can’t believe how well he handled that conversation. He guesses that taking time out of study helped. But, when he tries to ask you the question again, you have another thing to get to. Peter tries not to dwell on it too much, not wanting to jump to conclusions.

When Peter gets on the subway, Ned starts up a conversation in the group chat with MJ, you, and him. After it's done, all he gets out of it is that you’re all going to be watching a horror movie, and that well, as MJ puts it, he can cuddle up with you when he's scared. He blushes so uncomfortably on the subway, his heart beating super fast, he swears other people can hear it, but he makes sure to play it off cool.

Peter eventually makes his way to his usual alley. There he changes into his Spiderman suit. Peter quickly webs his backpack to the brick wall of the alleyway. He’s learned from past experiences to try his best to get it higher up so it has a smaller chance of getting stolen. Aunt May talks his ear off every time he tells her he needs a new one, Spiderman activities, or not.

When his backpack is secure and his suit is on right he smiles. Peter shoots a web up to the top of the building and propels himself up. When he gets to the roof of the building he sighs, contently. 

Being Spiderman makes Peter feel worth something. It feels good helping others. That's why he wants to help you. Or find out what you need help with. He cares about you, not just as a friend, not just as a crush, but as a person. I mean, how could he not care about you? You're perfect in his eyes. You’re smart, you're funny, you're witty, you stand your ground, you're pretty and you have a kind heart. He can’t even imagine a more perfect human being. And even better, you tolerate his shit.

He can’t believe that he’s in this situation with you, it makes his head spin. It makes butterflies erupt in his stomach. It makes him smile like a schoolgirl. It's honestly embarrassing to blush as much as he does around you. He wonders what you’re doing. He always does, really.

Peter looks out at the city from his high stoop on the edge of the building. He watches the people pass, he watches lives being lived. These are his people, the people he’s promised to protect. 

During his patrol, Peter manages to stop a couple muggers, petty thieves and help a mother unload her groceries. Usually the ‘big bad guys’ come out later, when the night sky can hide their crimes, as Peter sees it.

Peter swings all over Manhattan, by the end of his rounds around the city he feels his body flood with exhaustion. He sigh in slight annoyance, the nuisance of having to deal with grumpy New Yorkers all day will leave a sour taste in anyone's mouth.

When Peter lands in the same alley he was in just a couple hours early he finds his backpack still webbed to the brick wall. He climbs up the wall, unwebs his bag, and jumps to the ground. He quickly changes out of his outfit and into his clothes from earlier. The awkwardness of being in his boxers in the middle of a New York alley has begun to dull out. After a homeless man saw, laughed, and then whistled a mock, and walked away, Peter was pretty immune to the flush of his cheeks.

Peter wings his bag onto his shoulder and saunters out of the alley, his headphones secure in his ears. He shuffles the songs in his playlist, and the song lands on one that reminds him of you. His lips quirk up. He’s not so annoyed anymore.

That is until he remembers the hours of homework he's walking home to. 

——

The next day of school goes by with no hitches. Aside from the occasional odd look from passersby in the hallway. You and Peter manage to keep up your cover, undisturbed by Flash. But when Peter walked by Flash during first period, Flash immediately turned away in embarrassment. Peter smiled at the fact Flash was too shy to look Peter in the eyes.

Along with that, in every class you had with Peter, he felt your eyes on him. He tried to ignore it, assuming you’re lost in thought about more ways to make the relationship believable. He didn't want to jump to conclusions. Conclusions like: You were staring at him because you might actually have feelings for him that run deeper than just friends. But again, he had to stop himself from thinking like that. Because you couldn’t like him like that. Right?

It's Friday so, todays the day. Movies night at your house. Peter's eyes were drawn to the clock in every class he sat in. He couldn’t stop the bouncing of his foot, waiting for the final bell to ring. And then to meet you with you and both of your friends outside the building. You told them that Happy was going to pick you all up and drive you to your house.

When the final bell rings, Peter jumps out of his seat. He almost trips over the sluggishly moving people in front of him. But Peter swiftly maneuvers through the crowd of tired teenages and to his locker to collect his things.

Moving quickly, Peter stuffs his books into his bag before zipping to the doors of the school. He finds you and MJ already standing there talking. Peter dashes over, slightly out of breath.

”Hey,” He says as he waves to both you and MJ.

”What's up with you?” MJ asks, “did you just come from gym?” She asks as she chuckles. You smile too, and Peter finds his eyes drawn to you, longer than anyone normally should look at someone. But you don’t seem to mind, too lost in your own thoughts.

MJ sure notices both of you staring breathlessly at each other. She just scoffs playfully and shakes her head with a laugh. 

“You two are too much,” She huffs out. “Get a room!” She says as she shoves you. 

“What?” You ask as you turn to the sound of her voice, seemingly snapping out of your thoughts. And along with you Peter. 

“Save that for later at the house, love birds.” MJ adds as she snaps her fingers in front of you and Peter's faces, making sure she's snapped you both out of your little trances. 

“S-sorry,” Peter says as he blushes. He can’t believe she said that out loud, and with such ease. MJ just rolls her eyes.

Ned eventually joins us and soon after Happy pulls up to the front of the school. You call everyone over.

”Oh, look, Happy’s here.” You comment as you trudge over. “Sit wherever, just no shotgun, Happy hates that.” You chuckle as you pull open the door for everyone to get in.

Ned gasps as he hops in. There's two rows of seats facing each other in the back of the car. MJs eyes widen, impressed, as she follows Ned in the car.

“Damn Y/n,” Ned starts, “Sometimes I forget you're rich.” He says as he runs his hands over the leather seating. You smile awkwardly and you and Peter climb in. 

“Yeah, me too.” You comment quietly as you pull your seatbelt on.

”Hey kids, you better not make a mess back there” Happy scolds you all, making himself known as he pulls out of the school.

”Hey Happs.” Peter calls with a small smile. 

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?” Happy asks as he rolls his eyes. He then closes the divider between the back and the front of the car.

”Wait, you know Happy?” You ask, turning to Peter. You look really confused. He stutters for a second. You can’t find out that he's Spiderman. He won’t let you. He promised himself he wouldn’t. Especially with MJ in the car, she doesn’t know either. Oh god, what does he say? He just stares at you unsure. What does he say?

“He works for your dad as an intern, remember?” Ned chimes in. Peter swears he's a god sent. How did he forget about that? During freshman year it was basically his entire personality. Ned glances at him, letting him know he has Peters back. Peter lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding back.

”Right, that.” He says quietly looking at Ned.

”Oh shit, yeah, sorry I forgot.” You apologize, giving Peter a small smile, which he returns. 

“How could you Y/n? It's where he gets his bragging rights.” MJ says as she rolls her eyes.

”That is, after you,” Peter adds on. “After all, if anyone should get bragging rights it should be the daughter of Tony Stark, not his intern.”

“Please, my dad does all the bragging for me.” You joke with a smirk and shake your head. Everyone laughs with you. Peter can’t believe you looked past his hesitation after the question you asked. He's just glad Ned was there to save the day.

Happy pulls up to the house in upstate New York and you can hear Ned, once again gasping. Ned practically presses his face against the glass. 

“God, you live so far.” MJ says as she pushes open the door.

“I know,” You breathe out. “Sometimes I wish we had stayed in the Avengers tower.”

“That would be sick.” Ned grins from ear to ear. You all shuffle out of the car.

“Bye, Happy, thanks for the ride.” You wave to him through the glass. Everyone echos with their own version of your words. Peter waves to Happy and Happy waves back before driving off once again to park the car somewhere.

”How long was that drive?” Peter asks as he slings his bag over his shoulder. 

“Forty minutes,” You answer. “with traffic.” You add as you stride over to one of the many doors. 

“I would die.” MJ comments as she follows after you. Peter laughs, he can’t imagine going on that drive twice every day. You must do homework on the way home with that much time on your hands.

“Believe me, when I wake up every morning, I want to.” You groan as you put in a code and open the door. Everyone follows you as you walk. 

“She knows this place like the back of her hand,” Peter thinks in utter disbelief that you knows the layout of this mansion. He knows he shouldn’t be surprised because you live here, but still, it’s impressive.

You guide them all to the kitchen. There you plop down your bag on one of the counter stools. Peter suspects that this isn’t the only kitchen in the house.

“uh, this is my familys kitchen, only my family uses it, sometimes the Avengers. You can put your stuff down.” You say with a smile. Your three friends take a seat.

“So, let me explain a bit about the set up.” You offer as you walk to the other side of the island and lean against it, facing them. 

“We have a house house section of this building, and then an Avenger section.” You explain. “So on this side of the building it's more homey and you know, like a house.” You say gesturing to the homey kitchen.

“Should we take our shoes off?” Ned asks. You chuckle. “You can do whatever. We usually do, but you can keep them on if you want.” 

“Where should we put them?” MJ asks, and you point to a closet near the entrance of the spacious kitchen. You walk over and slide off your shoes before placing them on one of the shoe racks.

”Fancy,” Peter smirks at you and you blush slightly and nod. Peter sees you blush and he can’t help but blush too. 

——

Eventually you all make your way to the theater room that you somehow just have in your house. You all gather round in comfy seats with snacks from the snack cart and blankets. Peter, MJ, and Ned are astounded at your wealth. 

MJ scrolls through the movies. You and Peter sit next to each other on a two person couch, while MJ and Ned sit together on another two person couch. MJ had insisted that you and Peter sit together. She reasoned, Peter would get scared and need his girlfriend to comfort him. You rolled your eyes, while Peter blushed furiously. 

“So, how about The Sixth Sense? It's a classic.” MJ asks. You nod and look at Ned and Peter.

“I'm chill with that.” You note. Ned sighs loudly. You can practically feel MJ roll her eyes.

“Fine. As long as I can see your dads lab, Y/n.” Ned says pointing his finger at you.

“Promise is a promise.” You confirm, lifting your hands up in surrender.

“Okay, start it.” Peter says and MJ does. The music begins to rumble softly through the speakers in the room. It flows around you all, drawing you in. The screen flickers to life as the movie rolls.

As the opening scene plays Peter can feel your hand resting awfully close to his. The heat radiating from your skin hits his skin. Peter has trouble paying attention, his breath gets caught in his throat. And he's starting to notice a pattern of that when he's around you.

He can feel you shuffle closer to him. His body stiffens and he glances over at you. He makes sure only to move his eyes, not his head. He doesn’t know what to think of it when you move so your thigh is pressed against his. He doesn't want to assume it's something that it’s not, but, what else would it be? He asks himself. He runs through all the possibilities. And his conclusion is that you want this. You want him close. So he obliges, hoping his suspicions are correct.

As you move closer once again, your eyes still on the large screen, he moves his arms to wrap around your waist to pull you close. He feels you tense. And immediately he pulls away. Embarrassment and shame flowing through his veins.

But then, as if out of a book, you grasp his hands, and pull them back. He lets out a small breath. “She wants this? She really wants this?” Peter thinks with a relieved and thrilled smile.

You pull his arm back around you, to snake around your waist. You push your back into his chest slightly, at least as best you can while sitting next to him. You lean your head against his shoulder. Peter's heart drums through his chest as fast as it does while fighting crime. Almost faster.

Peter moves to nuzzle his head against yours. He sighs in euphoria. This is all he's ever wanted. Maybe it's not a kiss, but in some ways this is better. Holding each other close in a dark room is so intimate.

 Peter closes his eyes, trying to savor the moment. He feels your hands graze over his that are wrapped around you. He moves one of his hands to intertwine with yours and the soft contact of your skin against his makes his heart skip a beat. His other hand sits securely around you. You let your body relax against his and Peter swears he’s dreaming.

You both just sit there. Both of you two focused on the close proximity to pay attention to the movie. Eventually though, your eyes slowly fall shut, and Peter can hear your breathing slow and soft snores leave you. He smiles, pulling you closer and glancing down at you. With all of his being, Peter hopes that the feeling in his heart, that this is too real to be you both faking your relationship, is not just a feeling in his heart.

Tag list:

@riordanness

@princess-ofthe-pages

@sunnyx07

@hollandweather

@crumpets-are-better-with-jam

[smoooothoperator]

untouchable

10: Every Breath You Take

Lando Norris x OC (Violet Sinclair)

same group friend, unrequited love, acquittances to lovers, ski trip, love triangle

Words: 1.4k

Warnings: Harry, stalking, manipulation, drug use, sexual assault.

a/n: every story needs their villain! And this is actually the first one I ever wrote in my life. I think I want to make ia longer story than usual, with complex characters and a full plot worthy of a book. Who knows, maybe I'll even write a book based in this story? 👀 (Would you buy it?) Anyway... I want you to know that if some of you know a person that behaves the same way, stay alert. This is not healthy, contact people and make sure that person is away. Be safe.

Masterlist

Official Playlist

previous chapter | next chapter

If you want to be tagged don't forget to message me!

Every way of feedback is very welcomed

Psychopath (noun). A person with a psychopathic personality, which manifests as amoral and antisocial behavior, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, extreme egocentricity, failure to learn from experience, etc.

Narcissist (noun). A person who is intensely concerned with only his or her own self or interests and who seems to forget that others exist.

He never liked how he looked at her. How he smiled when she walked inside the room. How he always got up first whenever she asked for something.

Who does he think he is? How dare he do those things?

But later he understood it. He fell for her. That guy fell for her.

Her.

Violet Sinclair.

When he met her he thought she was pathetic. A pathetic thing that could only be his, to be used by him. How can someone as her smile that much? The way she tried to be friends with everyone irritated him.

But then she smiled at him.

That girl, who was clumsy and dumb, smiled at him.

And he promised himself that she won't smile at anyone else.

But then she introduced him to her friend Eloise.

Eloise was different to Violet. And he didn't like that. He didn't like that she was an independent woman, someone that already works on her family business, someone that can make money on her own. But he can use her for his own pleasure. He can have her whenever he wants to please himself.

So when he saw Lando Norris trying to reach for her, he did everything to keep him away from her, to keep Violet for himself and making sure she wouldn't try to be close to him.

“See? He loves the attention” he scoffed walking next to her through the paddock.

“I mean, he's famous…”

“But you don't see the way he smiles at everyone? He loves to hear how people compliment him. What an asshole” he laughed. “You should see how he acts during the parties”

“Gross” she groaned, making him smirk proudly.

But he can't always have what he wants.

He despised every man that touched her. And he made sure to push them away from her and make her look that no one will love her how she deserves.

Jared was the first one he met. Apparently, they met during summer. He was a guy two years older than her that studied in Manchester. Too far, too easy.

“Violet, you won't believe this” he frowned, walking towards her, holding his phone in her hand.

“What's that?” she frowned.

“I won't say I told you, but…” he sighed, showing her his phone.

A picture of Jared with another woman. Staged, of course. He knows that woman is his cousin, but since Violet never met his family, why would she know?

“W-what? No… he promised me!” she gasped.

“I'm sorry… come here” he sighed, opening his arms for her, letting her cry on his shoulder.

Then Michael came. He hated him the first moment he saw him leaning against that Mercedes-Benz, waiting for her at the door of the college. It was so disgusting, watching how he looked at Violet like she was a trophy, someone to sit in his expensive car and take her to boring places. But still, it was too easy for him.

“He broke up with me!” she frowned, walking inside the classroom and sitting next to him.

“What? What happened?”

“He said I'm not of his level” she scoffed, throwing her arms to the air “That his mother doesn't like that I'm not from the high class or shit like that”

“His loss” he scoffed.

“And he had the guts to say that by text! Not even a call! Look!” she frowned, showing him the text he made sure that stupid man wrote in front of him.

“What an asshole” he laughed, watching with a hidden pride that screen.

Owen was a little harder. But not everything is easy, if it was, life would be so boring.

He had to see how his Violet loved that man, how she had heart eyes whenever they were together. And that made his blood boil. He wanted that man out of her life, away and making sure that he never comes back to her. And never sounded so good for him.

It took him longer than he wanted, but he enjoyed every second of the final result.

It was her birthday party. All of them planned to surprise her at a club, renting the local only for the party. Or more like, Owen decided to make a party and include all her friends.

How disgusting. He hated that man, watching how he smiled at everyone and making sure everyone knew he was her boyfriend.

But until today.

When the party started and people were on the dancefloor, he started his plan. He only needed a drink for him and a few drops of the little bottle he had.

“Hey, mate” he smiled walking towards Owen, patting his back. “Today you did an amazing job. Here, cheers!”

“Thank you” he smiled, grabbing the shot glass, drinking it.

It was the beginning of the ending. And he was in the first row to watch it.

He only needed to give him three shots before it started to make an effect. The smile on his lips grew wider when he saw him walk towards Violet, taking her to an empty corner. The way he held her, kissed her and touched her. How she tried to escape from him. How he held her again, how he kissed her even if she tried to push him away.

It was just perfect. He never expected the drug to make someone act that way. The way he cried in panic, escaping from his touch.

She looked beautiful.

“Eh! Get away from her!” he screamed, running towards them and punching Owen.

The pain on his knuckles was nothing compared to the pleasure of hearing Violet cry and hold onto him when he saved her.

After that, it was easy to keep her close to him. She saw him as her saviour, as someone she completely trusts. And he loved that. He loved to see that for a while she didn't trust other men, that during the races she stayed with him. He loved to see how she started to fell in love with him slowly.

And the best part of it? That Eloise didn't mind. He thought it was good, she liked that both of them were close and she never questioned it.

How stupid.

But then she started to get close with Max and Lando again. He felt proud when he saw her be distant with them, but the moment he realized that Lando was trying again to get closer to her, he tried to find a way to eliminate him.

It was funny. Following him around the clubs, sending girls to him making sure they distract him while he took pictures of them. It was something that pleased him.

But Lando never tried to be her boyfriend. And it was something that drove him mad. But still, he had everything planned. All the pictures, all the videos, the audios. It was perfect. His masterpiece.

Yet, he never suspected anything. He never noticed the boxes that arrived at her apartment every two weeks. He never noticed the amount of books she was increasing. He never noticed the short texts between them.

Until that trip.

If Eloise didn't ask her to come with them, Violet would be safe in her apartment alone, reading those stupid books.

If Eloise didn't mention that stupid secret admirer, his week would be more calm.

Eloise. He has to make sure she's out of the picture. Always ruining everything, trying to set Violet up with someone. Trying to take her away from him

Who does she think she is? How dare she?

He made sure to keep Violet away from her. What a better way of showing Violet that her friend doesn't care about her than making Eloise ignore her while she moans underneath her boyfriend? And somehow, he had to let all the anger out.

What he never expected was that he had to fight two battles at the same time. And he hated not having control of it.

That sneaky Lando took advantage of the situation and got closer to her. He kept her away from him. Maybe he's washing her stupid brain and telling her lies.

But he was losing control. He saw how he was losing her, and it made him mad. It made him go mad.

She will regret it. She will regret believing in Lando. She will regret everything.

Because Violet Sinclair is his property. No one else’s.

She frowned looking at the packages and then at her phone.

If it's not from Lando… then who would have sent her the packages?

She left them on her kitchen table and searched for the sender, sighing with relief when she saw the names of her parents there.

“At least they sent something” she sighed, opening the boxes.

Inside them there were a lot of things. Her favorite chocolates, a few books, perfume and a little statue of Venus. She sighed looking at it, smiling. There was a note on one of the boxes and she grabbed it, smiling weakly.

‘I hope you had a good time in the snow. Happy birthday, love’

She frowned while reading it. She never told them she was going on a trip, nor to the snow.

taglist

@elisysd @racinggirl @ninifee1802 @kakorrhaphiphobia @landoyesrizz @lorarri @bellwhysomean @leptitlu @aphroditeisamilf @brekkers-whore @copper-boom @sideboobrry11 @alltoomaples @f1madison @elijahslover @silkenthusiasts @chonkybonky @summerslike11 @randomgirlnumber-13 @is-just-a @whentheautumnleavesfall @malynn @mycenterfold @barackosteaa @izzy-marvel @ssprayberrythings

[depravitycentral]

Yandere! Toshinori Yagi General Profile

Yandere! Toshinori Yagi x fem! reader

Tw: kidnapping, stalking, manipulation, mentions of assault (not by Toshinori), very, very slight infantilization, Toshinori has a thing for your pubic hair, this actually came out quite sad because Toshinori has some confidence issues, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy! 

DARLING PROFILE:

Caring 

All of Toshinori’s life, he’s been the one wanting to save others, putting his life on the line just constantly in order to save a life. He’s used to quite literally being the hero, the one caring for and making sure others around him are safe, healthy, out of harm’s way.

And while he chose to be a hero, chose to live that life, there’s a certain amount of charm that the idea of a partner who wants to care for him has. 

He doesn’t need to be coddled or treated like a toddler, but he can’t deny the way his heart melts when his darling asks him how he’s feeling, when they press their hand again his forehead to check if he’s running a temperature, when he sees them fret over making him dinner or preparing a bath for him. 

It’s undeniably cute, and Toshinori lives for the domesticity of it - having someone looking out for him is such a new concept, something that makes his entire chest tight as a blush stains his cheeks, and he honestly feels his love only deepen when his darling showcases this side of their personality. 

He loves it, and although he can’t protect his beloved as much as he used to be able to, he’ll still do everything in his power to return the sentiment.

Open Minded  

While being a pro hero isn’t the most unconventional profession, it’s still something that a lot of civilians see as other, something completely different from themselves. 

Heroes are similar to gods in society, and while Toshinori has most definitely lived up to the meaning of the name, he can’t deny the wish to be treated as someone completely normal, to just be seen as himself, the human who still struggles with getting his washing machine to thoroughly distribute the soap.

Having a darling who is able to understand that Toshinori isn’t just some buff, strong and constantly smiling mass of a man would be extremely attractive to him - he wants his darling to love him for who he is off the battlefield as well. 

He wants his darling to be someone he can use as a refuge, to tie him back to civilian life, to understand the real Toshinori Yagi. 

A darling who is more open minded about hero culture and realistic about who heroes are is something that he absolutely needs - he doesn’t want someone who only likes him because of his persona in battles. 

Just as he loves his darling for every part of who they are, he’d love to be given the same treatment.

Passionate 

Even from a young age Toshinori knew what he wanted to be. He’s understood that his calling is for heroism, that saving people will be his future, and he’s worked hard to live his dream, to become who he’s always wanted to be. 

As a result, he tends to gravitate towards those who have a similar love in their life - of course, he doesn’t expect everyone to know what they want to be, what they want to get out of life, and who they want to be, but a darling that has a hobby or two that they really truly love is something that Toshinori adores. 

The hobby itself doesn’t matter - it could be cooking, playing an instrument, a sport, even studying some outlandish subject that only a few people know of; it doesn’t matter because his darling loves it, and therefore he loves it as well.

Once he realizes that his beloved has something they truly care about, Toshinori will go out of his way to learn about said hobby, to hone skills and try to understand what exactly about it that draws in his partner, that catches their attention so wholly and completely. 

And really, as he watches his beloved devote their precious time to it, he can only dream of the day when they’re devoted that much effort and attention to him, just as he does. 

Because really, his darling may have a hobby as a passion, Toshinori has something much different - his beloved.

Friendly 

Despite his larger than life persona within the public eye, Toshinori himself is actually quite shy. Of course, he still talks to others, regularly puts himself into social situations, but he doesn’t feel especially confident in his abilities to charm others, to talk to people he doesn’t know especially well. 

And while he’s had time to master those skills, a darling who is naturally more friendly and willing to start conversations with others is incredibly inspiring to him.

Toshinori genuinely believes that his darling is someone who he should admire, should be inspired by, should strive to be more like, and their ability to simply strike up a conversation is endlessly amazing to him. 

Not only does he admire this about his darling, but there is also a certain relief that comes with this trait - while he isn’t a bad conversationalist per se, it’s a massive weight off of his shoulders to know that the brunt of the work won’t fall onto him, that he won’t have to carry the conversation or keep it running. He likes knowing that his darling wants to talk to him, that they want to spend time with him and get to know him.

It makes his heart melt and his throat feel dry, but with every question that slips from his darling’s lips that he’d give anything to feel against his own, he only falls deeper and deeper in love.

GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:

Clingy 

Toshinori has always found his identity through his status as a hero, as a protector of the people and symbol of peace. And now that he’s essentially ended all his relevance as a hero, he’s lost - what is his purpose? 

He’s just a regular man now, unable to help those who need it, unable to do really anything with that frail body he’s left with. He’s angry, really, and finds himself lost in the sense of knowing who he is - but you, sweet little you, give him purpose. 

Being around you makes him feel important, like he has a purpose, like there’s a reason for him to still be living and breathing even if he can’t be a hero anymore. 

Toshinori craves you, the way that you fill a strange void in his heart he wasn’t even aware existed through all the years of stress and being a hero, and he’s found that being around you and seeing you is the only way to help quell some of the intensity burning in his chest, the overwhelming urge to be with you becoming too much to bear much too often. 

However, despite the intensity and depth of his feelings for you, approaching you is an entirely different story. In general, Toshinori doesn’t have a whole lot of romantic experience to fall back on when it comes to approaching you. He is, in a sense, as awkward as a love struck teenage boy – he has no idea how to flirt, how to woo you and make you flustered and embarrassed and smiling up at him, looking up through those lashes with those eyes he could spend hours gazing into. 

In all honesty, he has a tendency to freeze up when he’s talking to you, spouting nonsense with a stutter and shoving the words out of his mouth before he can really think of what he’s saying, leading him to realize mid-way through that what was originally supposed to be a smooth, sweet compliment of you look very beautiful today, the strong color of your shirt really brings out your eyes has turned into a stuttered mess of your eyes are so strong, do you wear them like your shirt? 

It is, in a sense, absolutely mortifying for Toshinori to be around you, because without fail he ends up looking like a fool, and yet he can’t bring himself to pull away from you no matter how hard he tries. Toshinori quickly realizes that having your attention and smile directed at him are all he really needs, that he’s completely content with simply being by your side, spending time with you and showering you in every ounce of his love possible, even if it comes out a bit differently than he’s originally intended it to. 

And so, as time passes he slowly begins inserting himself into more of your plans, wanting to meet up and hang out, chat, have coffee or see a movie, go out for dinner or even spend a night at his place, because he wants you to see him as someone you can be comfortable around, that you’re willing to let into your life. 

And yet, as desperate as he is to have you in his grasp, to be with you every moment of the day, he knows it’s not possible – yet, but he needs to be patient. He knows you aren’t ready to let him hold and kiss you, to wake up in his bed in his arms every morning, to wear that pretty golden ring on your finger, to let him grasp onto you and moan in your ear while he fucks you gently, slowly, purposefully. 

He comes up with other ways to help try to fill the lonely hole in his heart; collections of candid photos of you, taken from outside the various windows of your home, each and every photograph making his heart warm, a soft smile playing on his lips as he traces the outline of your face, your body, imagining being there with you while you cook, clean or just lay around on the couch. 

He has a few small Ziploc bags full of your hair, taken from the walls of your shower or your hairbrush, which he’ll often idly hold in his pocket and mess with when he’s feeling lonely, but by far his favorite way of pretending you’re by his side is through the many, many recordings of your voice he’s collected. 

He loves to hear you speaking – your voice sends pleasurable little shivers down his spine, making his entire body relax as he places the headphones over his ears, your lovely words lulling him into a sense of tranquility. 

He’d felt a bit guilty at first, wondering if recording you without your knowledge was a violation of your privacy, but after the first time, he gives up on my conscience and decides that it’s okay because it’s him, the former hero, and he’d never do anything with ill intent towards you. 

And so, after that first very choppy recording taken from the pocket of his jeans while he talked to you, he shyly asks Izuku to teach him how to edit videos and audios, and his pupil, ever eager to help out, shows him all kinds of fancy settings and graphics on Toshinori’s laptop, even if it takes the older man a good while to get the hang of it. 

His favorite recordings are the ones of you saying his name, or complimenting him. Because you know him as Toshinori rather than All Might, the way your voice whispers to him that he’s so cool, your dad jokes are top notch Toshi, never fails to make him blush and clutch the clump of your hair tighter to his chest, cuddling with his pillow and feeling himself become even more desperate for your touch, to be with you and get to love you. 

When he can’t sleep, he’s listening to your voice talk about your day, how you saw the cutest puppy on the way to work, making Toshinori’s eyes flutter shut and dream of the both of you with your own puppy running around your future home. He wants your attention all the time, and while he’s too awkward and nervous around you to really ask for it, he’ll latch onto any ounce you give him, greedily begging for more and more until you find yourself giving absolutely everything to him. 

But don’t worry – after all, Toshinori will absolutely return the favor; you get his everything, too. 

Protective

Years of seeing the horrible atrocities that humankind are capable of has molded Toshinori into a sort of paranoid mess when it comes to the safety of those close to him. 

He loves you, so much so that it hurts, and the idea of you having to come face to face with any of the horrible, disgusting people he’s fought over the years is enough to have him blindly reaching for you, clutching you tightly with your face buried into his chest and his arms wrapped around you, hoping that another layer of physical protection will be enough to keep you safe. 

He’s answered too many calls that ended with death, pain, injury, disaster that he can’t not imagine what might happen to you, the paranoia slowly beginning to eat him alive as the months roll by, fear pushing him into crossing boundaries he never would have all in the name of your safety. 

With the retirement of his hero career, Toshinori honestly feels a bit useless – he’s no longer able to be in his muscle form, only the lanky, skinny man he’s always disliked, and while you���ve never make any sort of comment about him being less-than when he’s in his natural state, it doesn’t stop him from being hyper aware that he isn’t nearly as powerful now, that if push came to shove, he likely wouldn’t be able to stop any villain from hurting you. 

The idea is fucking terrifying – capable of sending him into a panic attack, his palms growing sweaty and tears forming in his eyes as his mind floods with images of you bloody and broken, crying and screaming, dying in his arms.

And so, Toshinori does the only thing he can; buying everything he can to make sure that you’re safe, healthy, and that you’ll never have so much as a paper cut. He’s investing in the latest, cutting-edge security cameras and systems, rigging the entire house with booby traps for any outsiders. (And traps that, inadvertently, keep you inside.) Floodlights that are hyper sensitive line the property, along with at least ten different styles of locks on each door (yes, even some of the ones between rooms on the inside of the house have them as well, if only because there’s really just no reason for you to venture into the basement, or for you to venture into the second bathroom where he keeps all the shaving razors and medications and things that could hurt you). 

There are passcodes at every step of the way, and all of the windows are made of bullet proof glass. He has a lot of money left laying around from being the number one for so many years, and Toshinori has absolutely no problem spending it this way, spending it on keeping you safe and sound. 

He doesn’t mean to, but quickly you’ll begin to feel like you’re incompetent once you’re under his rule; you can’t have anything smaller than a walnut, out of fear that you’ll choke. You aren’t allowed to shower alone, because he’s scared that you’ll somehow hurt yourself or slip and fall on the tile.

(He’ll never force you to let him actually into the shower with you, but he’ll always be standing in the doorway or sitting on the closed toilet seat, twiddling his thumbs and talking softly to you, so quietly you can barely hear him over the sound of rushing water.) 

You aren’t allowed to sleep unless he’s knocked on your door and heard you respond, his voice calling through the wood and wishing you pleasant dreams (oftentimes he’ll stare longingly at the painted white wood, pressing a soft kiss against it and whispering something about you being so beautiful, I’m so lucky aren’t I that makes you frown and sink into your blankets on the other side, guilt slowly eating away at you).

It comes from a good place, honestly – he wants to spoil you and make you happy beyond belief, and he genuinely believes that by showing you how much he cares and investing in your safety to such an intense degree, that he’s showcasing his dedication to you, his devotion to making sure that you’re his sweet little girlfriend (he wishes wife someday, though he won’t push you)l, his lovely partner that he’d do absolutely anything for. 

And really, while the knee pads and helmet he makes you wear when you’ve been particularly clumsy are demeaning and something you hate at first, slowly you’ll come to be okay with it, to maybe even enjoy it; after all, no matter how loving – or lack thereof – your friends and family were, they’re nothing compared to Toshinori, when compared to how he pampers you, how he treats you like a queen. 

He buys you anything and everything you want, all with that blush sporting his cheeks while he shyly hugs you from behind, and isn’t it the least you could do to just let him take care of you? 

Would it really be so wrong to just give in?

Lucid

Again, despite his lackluster romantic life, Toshinori is aware that there’s something amiss about his feelings for you. He knows something is wrong with the way he grows to slowly depend on you, how his every thought begins revolving around you, how he only starts to feel good and happy when you’re near him. 

It’s wrong, and at first he does genuinely try to fight it - it’s not fair to you or him to develop such overbearing, scary feelings. It’s wrong and, dare he say it, even a bit villainous - except, he’s not doing anything that bad, right? 

He’s not planning on hurting you (the thought makes him physically ill), or kidnapping you (he does, eventually, but only because he’s pushed into a corner and he has no choice - he hopes you’ll understand, one day), or anything else he’s had to read case files of for so many years. 

He’s not a monster - you’ll never be touched without your consent, or treated as subhuman, or neglected. And so, while he is initially ashamed of the way he feels for you, eventually he grows less embarrassed and disgusted with himself, eventually even managing to convince himself that he’s just doing what’s best for you. 

He’s accepted the fact that his love for you isn’t going away, and as such you’re essentially just a big, red, walking target for any of his enemies to exploit, and isn’t it better for him to embrace every instinct he has to protect you? 

Isn’t it better for him to allow the obsessive, disturbing feelings to bloom and grow? 

He still feels a bit guilty about it, but slowly habits begin slipping through the cracks; occasionally driving by your house or apartment, blue eyes appraising the property to make sure everything is normal - your windows are closed, blinds drawn, front door shut, good. 

Then, once that isn’t enough, he’s trailing you on his days off, acting as your shadow just to make sure you get from one place to another safely, without any danger befalling you. 

He’s careful to stay out of your sight, making sure you never spot him, so that you never get the idea that he’s stalking you, so that you don’t grow scared of him. 

Once that isn’t enough, he’s actually entering your home, making sure to leave no trace of his presence, making sure he doesn’t touch anything or leave it askew for you to notice. 

He doesn’t want you to be paranoid or suspect that someone’s been in your home, and he only ever enters when you’re not home - he absolutely cannot have you catching him in the act, accusing him of all kinds of perverted, disgusting things (which aren’t that far from the truth, but he still doesn’t think he could take hearing it from you). 

He’s slowly indulging himself, allowing himself a bit more leeway, slowly loosening up the leash he’d kept himself tightly on. It’s hard, at first, to allow himself to take just a bit more, to give into his less savory side, but as time passes he grows less and less worried, more and more desperate to fulfill his role as your protector, and hopefully someday your lover.

He likes to think of himself as having a decent amount of self control, but where you’re concerned, he’s utterly lost - he’s a slave to his own desires, and while he tries to control it and tame it, eventually it gets the better of him. But, fortunately for him, you don’t know until it’s much, much too late. 

To you, he’s just Toshinori, the awkward, sweet man you’ve come to know as a friend, as someone who always leaves you thoughtful gifts and insists on letting him pay for your meals, for your favorite flowers, even for jewelry you’ve been keeping an eye on. You’re not quite sure whether he’s just bad at making friends, or if he’s interested in you (the nervous eye contact and shying away from your touch makes you think he’s just a friend, and while the thought disappoints you, you’ve accepted it), but regardless, you’re happy that he’s in your life. 

(Really, the only reason he shies away from your touch is because any unwanted touching is the one hard and fast line he will draw - he absolutely will not touch you without your consent, and even if you were to reach out and grab his hand, he still automatically jerks away, if only because he’s scared that once he touches you, he’ll never stop.) 

He hides his true intentions very well, but eventually that facade will shatter - when danger comes knocking, or something happens that forces Toshinori to abduct you in order to protect you. Only then will you realize the depth of his feelings for you, the raw desperation he holds for you. 

It’s scary and overwhelming and you’ll hate him for as long as you can manage, but eventually Toshinori will win you over, if only because he knows what he’s done is wrong. He knows, and the apologies that tumble from his lips while a few tears roll down his cheeks will make it hard to stay truly mad at him, and eventually you’ll crumble, too. 

Eventually, Toshinori will get what he’s always wanted - you, by his side, safe and sound and in love with him. Even if he is a monster.

DEALING WITH RIVALS:

Because Toshinori’s romantic feelings for you form in full once he’s retired from hero work, jealousy is something that he deals with very, very frequently. 

He’s painfully aware that in his normal form, there’s nothing that he deems especially attractive or unique about himself – he’s lanky, tall, angular, someone that he knows wouldn’t get a passing glance on the street. He knows that he’s not especially charming with women, that he isn’t some romance god, someone that makes relationships and dating and love look like a piece of cake, that he’s just bad at being the dreamy suitor. 

He knows he’s not a young prince charming, that his age and looks and the trauma he’s suffered from so many years of pressure and violence make him damaged goods. And because of his hyper-awareness about his physical and mental ‘shortcomings’, Toshinori is constantly plagued by thoughts about you finding someone else, someone better, cooler, more handsome, more secure, not a disgraced hero, as he can’t help but see himself. 

He’s already prone to poor self confidence, but once you’re thrown into the mix? You, who is so pretty, smart, kind, wonderful, amazing, a dream come true, so out of his league… 

His insecurities and worries about not being good enough for you only amplify, made that much stronger as he loses more and more of his One for All abilities. 

And so, the minute that he sees you show even remote interest in another man, he’s immediately deciding that maybe you’d be better off with this person, that you could thrive and do so much better with them – they won’t hold you back like he would, they wouldn’t force you to settle so heavily like he would. It’s an unhealthy mindset and Toshinori knows this, but he just can’t help himself. 

He’s so in love with you, so sure that you’re something perfect and something that he doesn’t deserve in the slightest, and yet you’re something that he wants so fucking bad. 

It’s a constant mental battle between letting you find someone better for you, or giving into the selfish desires constantly eating away at him, and in all honesty it’s agonizing, the realization that he’s never wanted something as desperately as he’s wanted you. You’re like his last life line; his hero career is over, having been ripped away from him, and yet you’re still here, someone who likes Toshirnori for Toshinori, not because he’s All Might.

Which is why, as he internally flounders, he ultimately decides to not interfere – you’re your own person, a person he loves with every fiber of his being, but a person nonetheless. And besides, how heroic could he really be if he was limiting your romantic potential and your happiness by not letting you find someone better? How can he pretend to even entertain the notion of him being more than just a creepy, desperate freak if he doesn’t let you live your own life, even if watching tears him to pieces?

And so, as he spots you talking to the man with brown hair and eyes, an easy smile on his face as he looks at you, Toshinori’s heart is immediately breaking. 

You’re so pretty; hair rustling in the breeze of the afternoon air, your eyes sparkling as you laugh at the man’s joke, the bags of groceries in your arms looking so domestic and cute and oversized for you.

You’re perfection, utterly and purely, and as the man continues to speak with you, Toshinori’s confidence fades by the second, pushing what little there was to begin with to essentially nothing. He’s nervously tapping his fingers against his leg, gnawing at his lip and mentally listing all the things about this stranger that are better than him - he’s more muscular, his hair is more tamed and styled, his voice isn’t as raspy. 

Toshinori frowns, biting his lip as he watches the interaction. It’s not long, a few more remarks passed between the two of you that get both of you laughing, but every second feels like agony to him. It’s not until you walk away from the man with a smile on your face that he exhales sharply, realizing he hadn’t even been breathing. 

His fist is balled up so tightly that crescent shapes sit on his palms, the pressure of his nails against his skin nearly drawing blood. He’s quick to follow you home, slinking behind you, his mind whirring with possibilities. 

Were you interested in that man? Toshinori doesn’t make you laugh as much as that man had, maybe you found funny men more attractive. 

Had you gotten the man’s number, or had you given yours? Just the thought leaves a sour taste in his mouth, worry eating away at him.

He’ll do some research later into the man’s identity, checking his criminal record and seeing if anything sinister appears in his files. When you reach your apartment, Toshinori reluctantly peels away, watching with longing in his eyes as you step into the building, heavy grocery bags juggling in your arms as you open the door. 

That night, he sits in front of his computer, the blue light washing over his face as he pours through hero databases, running the man’s description through and finding him, scouring through every single government document just to make sure there’s nothing incriminating in them. (He can’t tell if he’s disappointed or relieved when nothing raises a red flag - the man seems like an upstanding citizen.) 

The thought sticks in his head, replaying the memory of you laughing so freely up until a few days later, when your weekly coffee date with Toshinori rolls around. 

He’s noticeably quiet, just kind of looking at you and absentmindedly nodding along or giving one word answers, until you eventually confront him. He winces and tells you it’s nothing to worry about, only that he’d seen reports of rates of assault going up lately. It’s not technically a lie, just a very exaggerated version of the truth. 

But it does the trick - you stiffen up, worry evident on your expression as you tell him you’d met a man the other day that was very friendly - too friendly, you admit, and something in Toshinori perks up. The disdain in your voice gets him feeling dangerously hopeful, and as you sigh and slump slightly in your chair, telling him that you think you might want to hold off on meeting anyone until this area of the city gets a bit safer, he can’t help but bounce his leg slightly in anticipation. 

Thank god, you obviously weren’t considering seeing this stranger again - his chest feels light, airy, as if a sudden weight were lifted off his heart. He feels bad, truly, as he watches you switch topics to talk about your job, but he can’t help it - he’d been obsessing over whether you were seriously considering the man as a potential partner, something that made his gut churn and his head feel dizzy. 

He’s happy that you’ll remain single for the time being; you may not be interested in Toshinori, but at least you’re not interested in anyone else. 

That’s all he can ask for, really. It would be selfish to wish for anything more - no matter how desperately he does.

TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:

He really, really doesn’t want to resort to kidnapping you. He’s already on the cuff about everything else he’s doing to you, and to steal you away without your consent would present a line he desperately doesn’t want to cross. 

Besides, you would hate him - you’d think he was a monster, a horrible, disgusting pervert, a villain. Kidnapping you would label him as the very thing he’s dedicated his life to eradicating, and although he loves you dearly, overwhelmingly, pathetically, the crushing guilt and weight of how you would see him would be too much. 

And so, Toshinori holds out on relocating you for as long as he possibly can, and god is it difficult. Every morning that he wakes up with an aching back, chest pain centered around his scar, or even just fatigue, he wonders if he’d be able to protect you today. 

He’ll stand in front of the mirror with a towel around his face, hair wet from the shower he just finished, eyes appraising his form.

He’s not as strong as he used to be; two fingers come up to poke at the muscles of his biceps, and a frown sits on his lips.

If someone were to attack you, could he stop them? If you were taken by a villain, could he really save you? 

He grimaces but sighs, knowing the answer is no, but still thoroughly unwilling to take action and keep you in the nice little room he’s got prepared just in case. He holds himself off, always rationalizing it to himself that yes, you could fall victim to some heinous crime, but if he were to kidnap you, he’d be that heinous crime. 

And this logic works for quite some time - enough time to let his paranoia grow, the fear and anticipation in his chest slowly reaching up into his throat and strangling him, making it hard to eat or sleep or even breath. 

He’s watching news reports on recent villains attacks with shaking fingers and his lip between his teeth, worry eating away at every inch of his body until one day he finally snaps - it’s a minor accident, really, one that could’ve happened to anybody. 

Someone was mugged, and you’d been in the area, running some errands. They’d stolen the woman’s purse, and as they were running away, they’d looked over their gilder and managed to run right into you. You both fell to the ground, and Toshinori - from his spot twenty feet behind you, trailing you in what he hoped was an inconspicuous manner - watched as the thief barked out an apology and pushed against you to push himself forward, continuing his mad scramble away from the woman now chasing him. 

You’d stumbled down again, landing with a slightly pained noise, and something in that moment had Toshinori gasping, a hand clutched to his chest. 

You were hurt. 

Nothing serious, just a scrape or two on your knee and adrenaline in your veins, but still. He’d let you get hurt, while he was standing by, not doing a single fucking thing to stop it. 

And so, as he rushed forward to help you up, gently smiling at you while you asked what had just happened, he decides he’s waited long enough. You may think of him as the villain, deciding he’s a poor excuse of a man and an even worse hero, but he just can’t see you hurt again. 

He can’t fail you.

In general, two sides of Toshinori war once he’s got you under his rule. He’s clingy, yes, his dependence on you only growing tenfold once he’s got you under his care. He wants to be with you always, constantly, to not let a moment go by where you aren’t at least within his sight. 

And yet, Toshinori tries to give you space once he’s stolen you away. He knows what he’s done is wrong, and while he desperately hopes it isn’t the case, he would understand if you hate him for the rest of your life. He tries to stay away from you, only invading your personal space when absolutely necessary, and leaving you to your own devices in your own separate bedroom within the confines of his modest home. 

However, in his heart, he wants nothing more than absolute domestic bliss with you. Because of his tumultuous childhood once receiving One for All, he never really got to experience anything resembling first love or even romance in general, and he’s always harbored this desire to have own partner, a woman to come home to and cuddle and fall asleep next to. It’s a thought that’s always been in the back of his mind, drifting into his thoughts often throughout his career but always getting pushed back down - though never forgotten. 

And so, while he doesn’t force you into anything you don’t want to do (aside from staying inside his home), Toshinori secretly yearns for the point in time where he can wrap his arms around you, when he can feel your soft lips press a welcome home kiss against his cheek at the front doorway. 

He’s anxiously dreaming of the day when you’ll gently grab his hand and lead him to bed (the bed you now share, you having decided it was high time to get rid of the lonely, cold mattress you’d been sleeping on and join him), snuggling up into his side and letting his palm press into your stomach and pull you back closer to him. 

He wants you to help him cook, playing soft crooning love songs in the background while you stir and he chops, occasionally glancing at each other and smiling. 

He just wants your love, so very much, but he understands that he has to be patient and let you grow to love him first. 

And it’s painful, staying away from you, but he does it - though he’s always hovering near your door (you always keep it closed, not wanting him to come into the only room you can partially call your own), eyes darting to the stagnant wood every few minutes. He’s keeping his ears open to hear for any sounds, always ready to rush in and aid you if necessary, aching to be seen as a hero in your eyes. 

He takes good care of you, all things considered - there’s a steaming tray of your favorite breakfast foods waiting outside your door after he hears you rustling about in the mornings, a rapt knock on the wood and a soft good morning darling, your food is ready accompanying it. He’ll let you eat in your room, not forcing you to join him at the dining table, content to see your head quickly appear in the crack between the door and the frame, hands grabbing the tray while you glance at him and then away. 

Honestly, that interaction (and the same routine with dinner) is probably all he’ll see of you the whole day - you spend all your time in your room, and while it’s not ideal for Toshinori, it’s better than you ignoring him while you’re in his presence, fighting him or yelling hurtful things at him. 

He’s making sure the bathroom adjoining your room is stocked full of the nicest smelling shampoos and soaps (all your favorite scents - coincidentally, now his favorite scents, too) and all the items necessary for your skin and hair care. 

(He doesn’t keep anything sharp in there, however; he trusts you, but not enough to know you won’t try something with a razor, or that you won’t just trim your nails with the nail clippers. Besides, he’ll never, ever tell you, but he sort of likes your body hair - in his fantasies, the first time you two get intimate, you’d ideally not have shaved in quite some time, the tufts of hair making that wonderful mound between your legs look so womanly and inviting and primal.)

He won’t force affection onto you, but eventually you will come around, whether you want to or not. 

You will become lonely, fighting the urge to venture past your room and interact even just a bit with your captor. After all, in order to even catch Toshinori’s attention in the first place you had to have been friends - and fairly close ones, at that. 

Somewhere in your heart you know he’s a good man, and even though he’d managed to hide his hero persona from you for an impressively long time, you’d trusted him with your life - so what’s changed? Yes, he’s shown yet another side of him that you hadn’t expected, but was he really so bad? After all, he knows much better than you all the danger in the world - maybe he really is doing you a favor by keeping you locked up, safe and sound from the scum that rot society. 

Maybe he really does love you - which is why, one morning, you emerge from your room, tapping him on the shoulder and asking if he’d like any coffee, because you’re making some for yourself and you remember how much he loves vanilla lattes…Toshinori can only gape at you, his jaw physically dropped, before quickly composing himself, eyes darting around your face as if he were committing the details to memory, a slow nod of his head and a stuttered y-yes, thank you making you pad off to the coffee pot by the sink. 

Eventually, you will cave, and although he still treats you with too much care and protectiveness, you’ll probably end up happy with him - after all, he’d do anything to see you smile, even if it meant destroying himself. 

PUNISHMENTS:

Punishing you is absolutely out of the question. There is no possible situation that could push Toshinori to discipline you, much less hurt you - god no, just the thought has him feeling sick enough to vomit, the pit in his stomach only sinking deeper and deeper as flashes of you bloody, crying and bruised swim through his mind. 

You’ll never be running the risk of getting in trouble with him, and frankly it’s incredibly difficult to even get him mad at you. He seems to have unlimited patience when it comes to you; you could attempt to escape every day for months and he’d only tiredly sigh, gently grabbing your waist and pulling you back from the front door, telling you to stop clawing at the door, look at how your nails are bleeding. 

You could yell at him every time you see him, calling him horrible names and demeaning him and he’d only softly frown, nodding his head and telling you that you’re right, I am a monster, but your food will get cold if you don’t eat soon. You could punch him, kick him, slap him and he’d only dodge out of your way, knowing that although he may be slower and weaker in this form, he’s still got fighting instincts, and he will outlast you, so he’ll just let you keep going until you get your fill. 

Honestly, you’ll be the one getting mad when you act out; he just doesn’t ever seem to be affected by anything you do, never lashing out at you or hurting you or doing really anything. He just takes everything, his face carefully neutral or definitively sad, making you uncomfortable to look at him. It’s infuriating, if only because you want to get a rise out of him, to establish him as a monster, a freak, a creep for all the things he’s done to you. 

You want him to be worse than he is for having stalked you, kidnapped you, photographed you without your knowledge, for spending months dreaming of you and wringing himself dry to the thought of you. It’ll fuck with your head that he’s not locked you in some dingy basement, that he isn’t touching you or hurting you or anything even remotely as sinister.

 It’ll anger you that he’s being kind, caring, taking better care of you than you yourself ever did - he’s being good, and while it doesn’t erase the fact that he did all those things to you before stealing you away, the image you’ve created of him being an unhinged bastard will slowly crack. The cracks will be small, growing in number until the entire image shatters, breaking apart and showing you that Toshinori really just wants you. 

The cracks are little favors he does for you here and there that you never asked for; buying your favorite snacks and leaving them outside your door, even though you’re sure you didn’t ask for them nor tell him your favorites. It’s scary that he knows your favorite chip and ice cream flavors, but it’s a small comfort to have them, nonetheless.

He’s doing all your laundry, cycling through clean clothing that’s soft and smells like lemons and rosemary and leaving them folded neatly outside your door, all so that you don’t spend your time in the same stinking set of clothing.

(It’s a bit scary that he knows your size for everything from sock to shirts to panties, but you’re grateful enough for clean clothing that you can’t complain.) He’s treating you well, and you hate it - why can’t he be the freak you’ve convinced yourself he is? It’s wrong, and you wish it weren’t the case, but it’s who Toshinori is, and the longer you’re with him the more you’ll realize that. 

Yes, he’s a monster, but only for you. 

Toshinori is awoken by low, thudding sounds, uneven and coming from outside his bedroom. Immediately he’s sitting up in bed, wild eyes glancing all around to locate the source of the sound, and soon he’s scrambling up, the sheets nearly getting tangled in his haste to exit. 

He’s not wearing a shirt, only a pair of navy blue boxers sitting low on his hips as he yanks open the door and rushes through his home, following the noise with a sinking feeling in his heart. Where are you? 

Soon he’s answering that question, seeing you by the windows in the living room, nightclothes hanging haphazardly on your frame as you ram your side into the glass again, hissing under your breath at the sting. No cracks have formed, and your eyes are all red and teary, as if you’re about to cry in frustration.

Toshinori gulps, rushing forward until he’s about two feet away from you. His hands are outstretched as if to grab you, but his fingers twitch as he stops himself, fighting the instinct because he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. His chest is burning, because it’s obvious what you’re trying to do. 

You’re trying to escape, hoping to break the window and jump out - nevermind that it’s a three story drop, his condo not ground floor, and you’d most definitely break something on the way down. It’s also obvious that you aren’t going to be successful; who knows how long you’ve been going at this, and not a single blemish taints the glass. You’ll end up hurting yourself before you hurt the glass. 

You’ve frozen now that he’s here, and you slowly back away from him, your chest rising and falling so quickly that it makes him nervous, eyes darting between his wildly. Darling, please, stop.

He begs, his voice strained, and you only shake your head. No, no I have - I have to, I have to leave, please Toshinori! 

He can’t help the shiver that rolls through him at the sound of his name on your tongue, but you only back up further, until you run into the wall, looking at him like he’s crazy. You’ll hurt yourself, he tells you, taking a deep breath. Look at your elbow, there’s bruises. Please, darling, it’s not working, please. 

He’s pleading with you, but you won’t listen - you want to, the dull throbbing in your elbow is begging you to, but you can’t. You can’t, not if you want to hold onto the last scraps of your sanity, the part of you that’s urging you to fight this whole situation refusing to be silenced. And so you shake your head again, sliding down the wall until you’re sitting on the floor, hands clutching at your arms. 

No, please, I need to leave. You’re whispering, and Toshinori has to strain his ears just to hear you. 

He comes closer, cautiously, crouching down in front of you to be eye level and not intimidate you. Please darling, it’s safe here. It’s not, out there. I know you’re not happy here, and I wish that weren’t the case, but you have to stay. I know you hate it, I know you hate me, but please, let me keep you safe. 

You’re shaking your head again, mind spinning, totally unsure of how you’re feeling. No, you mumble, your lips moving before you can think. I don’t hate you. 

Both your eyes and his go wide at your words, and one of your hands comes up to smack over your mouth, complete shock making your legs tremble. You weren’t sure why you said that, but Toshinori could only stare at you, lips parted and his fingers twitching. 

I - I don’t, you start, unsure of what you’re about to say. You don’t know how you feel, where this is coming from, or why it feels like the truth, like you really don’t hate him. You should, you know you should, and yet you can’t find it in yourself to conjure up any hate, no harmful words popping into your mind. 

Toshinori swallows, hard, and slowly shuffles forward, placing his palm on your arm. You jerk, and for a moment he considers pulling his hand away, but then you’re covering his hand with your own, still not meeting his gaze. 

Why don’t I hate you? It’s all you can whisper out, tears forming in your eyes, but Toshinori slowly moves forward, wrapping his arms around you, nearly sobbing from happiness as you hesitantly return the hug. 

He stays with you for a long time, letting you cry into his shoulder, letting your grip grow tighter and tighter around him, until he’s eventually helping you up, leading you to the kitchen and fixing you a warm bowl of noodles, not saying anything or pushing you to speak either. He can’t, not when he’s practically brimming with excitement - you’ve never let him hug you like that before, and he can’t stop replaying the way you felt in his arms, how soft and warm you were, even if you were crying. 

He won’t push you to explain anything to him, but as you slowly open up to him the next few days, not flinching away from his touch or ignoring his words, he can only sigh and bite his lip, ecstatic that he’s finally, finally making progress with you. 

Maybe all those domestic dreams are closer than he thought - maybe you’d let him hold your hand now, or let him tuck your hair behind your ear, or let him press a soft, chaste kiss against your cheek. 

Maybe you even love him now.

OVERALL DANGER:

4/10

Honestly, the only way that Toshinori presents any danger to you is by kidnapping you. Otherwise, he’s less than harmful - sure, he’s obsessed with you, hopelessly devoted to seeing you smile and making you happy, but is that really such a crime? 

Is it evil to want to spend time with you, to crave your presence, to live for the small, fleeting touches you give his shoulders or hands? 

Toshinori feels immense guilt for his feelings towards you, viewing himself as a monster, a freak, a poor excuse for a man for being so hyper fixated on you and crossing all sorts of boundaries that are there for a reason, but he can only deny himself for so long. 

He’s a hero, but not perfect; everyone has their limit, and Toshinori will slowly creep towards his through a photograph here, a picked lock there, until he’s eventually got you unconscious on the bed of his spare room, panic sitting heavy in his chest because oh god, you’re going to hate him and never, ever want him in the way he wants you. 

It’s a slow crawl into obsession for him, but he’s in too deep, his feelings for you simply too strong for him to pull away - so he compromises and tries to make the best of the situation, hoping that the sincerity of his feelings and his devotion to your happiness and care will make up for the stalking, the watching you sleep, the knocking you out with the chloroform soaked rag. 

He’s hoping, perhaps naively, that one day you’ll forgive him - and really, you will. Whether you want to or not. Because while Toshinori has in fact betrayed you in more ways than one, he’ll manage to worm his way into your heart, his awkward charm and genuine yearning for you eventually winning you over. 

After all, how can you say no to the only person who really seems to care for you? How can you deny him when he’s got that hopeful look in his eye, those clammy, nervous palms and his stuttered murmur of your name? 

You just can’t, so really it’s in your best interest to give up trying. It’s easier for both of you that way.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for encouraging kids to lie about their age online?

Okay, so, to make one thing clear, I know I can go a bit overboard when it comes to online safety, particularly with children's/teenagers online safety.

I grew up lying about my age, my friends lying about their age, and even though I'm now a legal adult [19F], I still lie about being older online to keep 40+ year old creeps who are into teenagers/young 20 year olds off my back.

I truly believe me lying about my age has saved me from being target by predators online growing up because in real life where I can't lie about my age, I was target by predators from when I started puberty early at six years old to even now since I do have a rather bad baby face and look about 14 according to my friends.

Why thankfully I have had just enough education and maturity to know how to advoid engaging these creeps in real life, I was also way too trusting of people who seemed my age, and if online someone lied to me about their age I would have likely feel prey to their abuse.

And so one thing I absolutely loath about this new internet culture is minors, be it actually little kids or teenagers, just being comfortable about saying their age.

Like, it puts a huge target on their back that allows any predator to go "ah, they're in my prefered age group to abuse!" and lie about their own age to seem younger and to know which kids they want to target to groom and abuse.

And so, every month or so I make a bunch safety posts. I use studies and stories shared with me to encourage kids to be safer online and to just lie about their age. People have taken to reblogging these posts, adding their own stories, making their own posts, etc.

This however has gotten me a lot of backlash recently by a lot of fellow adults who just don't want minors following them, and by adults who create more mature content so to speak.

They do make some good points about having a right to a boundary, and to not wanting minors to see their more risky content for comfort and/or legal reasons, but frankly I have always cared about minors safety more then anything.

And so I would argued back that minors already are and have been since the internet came to be lying about their ages, and that as long as their is a disclaimer that any mature content is made for adults and by proceeding to view it you are saying your adult [even if you aren't] will 99.9% of the time keep any any legal issues away, and most importantly, minor's safety comes before any adult's sense comfort.

But because of this, a lot of adult accounts be it sfw accounts that just wanted space away from minors and not so sfw accounts in my particular fandom space have been deactivating due to an increasing about of minors taking their ages out of their bios and posts and/or lying about their ages.

I feel bad because it was never my intention to drive adults out. I just wanted kids to be smarter and safer online, not for adults, the main driving force of this particular fandom to start to widdle out.

Minors have been sneakily looking at mature material since forever, and it's something a lot of artists and writers use to accept that. And not only that, there was a sort of acceptance back when I was younger that it was healthy outlet for minors to sneakily cope with their hormones by quietly looking at it since they were fully in control of that experience.

I figured it would just go back to that, to adults learning how to cope with their own discomfort for the sake of minors being safe, but instead they're raging about minors breaking boundaries, getting porn addictions, etc, and leaving to other social medias.

I feel horrible for making so many adults uncomfortable to the point of leaving, and now I can't help but wonder if I should have tried a different approach to helping minors be safer that didn't upset the current/modern[?] adult artist and writers?

At the end of the day, minors being safer is more important, but surely that must have been a different way that I'm just not able to see right now that I could have taken?

So really, AITA for not being more tactful in handling this issue of minors being to open online and causing a lot of unnecessary discomfort?

What are these acronyms?

[thorn-rosed]

there's something christian / catholic in all versions of my rosekiller. i dont care what earth this is, guys. you're having a deeply complicated relationship to god.

fallenangel!evan x priest!barty

Evan was supposed to deliever a message to some random priest. it was an honour to be allowed on earth as an angel, you had to be outstanding. The message read "dont trust those who dont even acknowledge the bad", and evan didnt really think about it too hard. But when events on earth were unfolding, he realized that God had been in his way the whole time. He was the one Barty wasn't supposed to trust. Luckily, Barty didn't give a fuck and from that day on, Evan wad filled by a deep hate by God. The almighty took Evan's whole life from him and tried to take away his one safety boat too. And this was supposed to be the one millions of people trust and love? No, Evan decided to never trust him again.

Meanwhile Barty never really lost his faith. Sure, over time he became bitter towards God, and the more he got to know Evan, the more he resented the almighty. Yet he still believed in the ground principles and teachings of the bible. When he hit rockbottom, Barty prayed to God because he knew no matter what, God would take him back. He didn't know how or if the entity ever listened, but he knew that if He did, He'd be there for Barty and help him. After getting close to Evan and occasionally consuming his blood, God would be able to communicate with Barty. This was the craziest turning point in his life. Now, everytime he prayed, he'd make sure god would listen and wait for answers and help. Barty knew that this relationship wasn't the way it was supposed to, he knew he should give more into it, but at the same time, there was no way he'd actually worship God. Getting advice? sure. believing his existence? Yes. But respecting it and active support? No. From week to week, Barty lost his trust more and more, and even though he'd never give it up completely, he dishonoured his extremely catholic family by breaking all the rules and not giving a fuck about morals.

vampire!barty x scientist!evan

Evan had never been religious, God was just a concept that people made up to feel better about themselves. But when he tried to summon a demon, his intention was to ask how the true god was like, so Evan could live and believe the truth. over time, his Catholicism increased steadily, despite the horrible things he did to others, he read and studied the bible, prayed and went to church / confession once a week. Because God was real, and even if Evan would go to hell for murder and torture, he'd get into the good parts of it, because trusted gods plan. He'd probably say smth like "Obviously i killed thay guy! Last night, god told me to do so, its all part of his plan!" and if someone said that was blasphemy, Evan would answer with "I'm allowed, im catholic".

Meanwhile Barty... you would say that since he's been to hell and is hyperaware of God's existence, he's catholic or at least satanic (after all he knows satan personally and can't talk to his hell-bestie on earth anymore) but no. He doesn't pray to anyone, and he won't ever start. He says he loathes God for taking his mother away from him and forcing him to be tortured all his life... At this point Evan doesn't know who Barty even is, so the whole time he's like "????". But they figure it out at some point :) Yet, it makes him genuinely angry that Evan is becoming religious because of him. Why would the love of his life pray to the one entity that hurt him so much? God and their opposite views on him are some of their only fight points. While all Barty sees in God is a fake saviour who is lying through his teeth, Evan acknowledges His flaws, yet praises him for the good things. He doesnt care about breaking the rules - he's thankful for not being in jail and he's thankful for meeting Barty.

They both arent near perfect and neither of them has a "healthy" relationship to God, but I don't think that's possible in any universe.

Summary

Both versions of Rosekiller has one person that is more religious than the other one. While fallenangel!evan x priest!barty built on religion and wouldn't be able to exist without both of them being religious, there is no technical need for scientist!evan to become religious. vampire!barty might've showed him that hell is real, but there was no "real" reason for him to convert to Christianity, read the bible and confess. He knew that no matter what he did, he wasn't ready to change his behaviour for anything or anyone and would end up in hell anyway. I think, for him God was like a parental figure that had been missing his entire life, and before vampire!barty met him, scientist!evan knew he'd get no answer and wasn't even ready to try and become religious. But now that he could get an answer through vampire!barty, who showed him spells for contact, he felt like this was everything ever missing. A neglected child finally getting attention from the parent it needed his whole life.

Personal notes

The reason for Christianity/Catholicism being the only religion represented is because it was one I grew up with and I know the most about, also due to most of my friends being Christian. I would love to see people headcanon the skittles/marauders as other religions too, I simply didnt want to give misrepresentation.

[juni-ravenhall]

If you take over SSE, what would be your first changes that you make? Like immediate things you want to do?

And what’d be your long term goal, how would you achieve it?

- ro-sso

this is the best ask ever thank u but u might not be prepared for this essay........ sorry :3

first off id need to find out exactly who are the current ppl for game director, art director, etc direction positions, and who of them are making the crazy decisions. is it directors and managers, is it the CEO, etc. ofc there might be many parts in this chain from an uncaring CEO down to a confused director down to a struggling game designer down to a coder/writer/artist that doesnt get enough time and resources, like, i understand its a complex chain but that doesnt change the fact that someone (or several) have been fucking shit up for all of sse's history. so i would do a lot of talking to staff respectfully and finding out whats really been going on in the chain, and who is not working in the best interest of the game's quality and the company's stability. map out where in the company theres the most and least problems.

(this to me is easy, im analytical and resistant to lies and manipulation as a person. i see through shit very easily and i have a long history of self-studying and analysing stuff related to running companies and making games, since thats my life goal... so to some ppl it might sound like "thats harder than you think" bc theyre just not me. some ppl arent passionate about running good healthy ethical game companies - i am!)

sse clearly has basically never had good directors with good direction, or if they did, those werent given enough power and resources. they shouldnt have been changing artstyle several times, they shouldnt have been abandoning storylines and areas, they shouldnt have been ignoring bugs in general, they shouldnt have been ignoring bugs and cheats in racing and champs, etc. so, its very important to get a good game director, art director, and so on, in place, whether its an existing staff member who just needs more power and resources, or its someone new who is a good fit.

then ofc take a look at all staff hired and see what everyone is there for. after the layoffs im not sure if they have many passive workers left but id get an overview and do some interviews w staff to find out how the efficiency situation is and if more/less ppl are needed in diff areas to actually pay ppl to work on the game itself. (as an example mb u need one less social media person and one more programmer, one less team manager consultant or other middleclass word salad jobs... etc.)

then overview of salary differences. this is a huge point to me. was the CEO that im assumably taking the job from, earning a lot more than everyone else a month? then thats not happening anymore. all salaries within the company would become more balanced, setting in place a system where the minimum salary and max salary at the company are tied together in a ratio so that to raise the top u must also raise the bottom. this will instantly lower much of the top and assumably raise some at the bottom (how much, i dont know from the outside). this ratio system would be clearly outlined and from now on a pillar of the company's structure. also, check that skilled senior staff has appropriate pay for their experience, etc, make sure salaries seem fair.

along with this ofc a good overview of costs, loans, earnings, the current office and all of this to know the situation. i think thats obvious but ill say it anyway to be clear. have a complete grasp of the economic situation, talk to the economics staff.

with staff interviews and salary checkups it would also be relevant to see if theres any gold star workers who should shift up in positions, for example a very good animator could become lead animator, stuff like this. sse has already done things like this fairly often (sometimes maybe not with the right people) so im not too worried about it but i would do another check. also just general talk w staff to find out who has hidden potential that might not be getting used. (i want to know my workers and be able to help them shine, this is good both for the workers, the work environment, and the company results.)

at this point, we should have balanced out some of the leaking money at the top (and hopefully made a few leeches jump ship while at it), boosted the happiness within the company (balanced salaries etc), and have a great overview of whats going on from the more economic and hierarchy standpoint. we should have gotten rid of some potential leeching staff that didnt actually help create a good product and run a healthy, ethical company, and we might have gotten new people in positions where we needed more skills (direction, programming, whatnot). compared to sse's 10+ years of being a chaotic mess, the company structure should look pretty good now, even if not perfect.

i would have a lot of talk with the directors and team leaders and senior staff to make sure everyone is on the same page from now on: we are making a good quality game, we are being consistent, we are not adding new random shit just bc ooh shiny or cashgrabs, we are going to impress the players and make them feel "oh god, finally sso is consistent and living up to its potential". everyone at the company needs to understand this goal and why the loyal players are disappointed with the game. there will still be new horses and item recolors etc ofc, we do need a certain degree of "ooh shiny" from the player side of things (hopefully good gameplay and good stories would also be ooh shiny though), but there needs to be a new focus on the Actual core and Actual pillars of the game, which sse failed to do bc they have bad direction.

most likely, we would change the weekly update into bi-weekly or monthly, maybe starting with bi-weekly to test the waters. in order to deliver a good quality main storyline and also good quality stories and updates to tie up loose ends, there needs to be enough time to do that. there would be very solid goals on the cadence at which major updates are released and no long stretches of time without main story, and no long stretches without other significant updates.

an important part of that is also the seasonal events - i think the 4 seasons of events is a good thing, but they need to be properly bug fixed and have some design and writing improvements, one new fun (more challenging) race for each of them, etc. so hopefully we can afford enough staff that we have a few ppl working on updating and finalising the 4 seasonal events to their more or less final form.

each seasonal event needs to have a cool and challenging race (similar to cloud kingdom rainbow race or some other recent races) that HAS A HIGHSCORE BOARD. this is a key thing to me. all event races should have highscore boards (and some crappy event races may be removed, or combined into a better version of all of them together). *everyone* playing would be able to just better their own score for a generic gold/silver/bronze score, which gives specific rewards for reaching the medal score on the event race(s), and those who are at the top of the leaderboard among everyone, would get a non-exclusive prize, like 1000js. its not a huge win - not to encourage cheating to get to the top - and mostly based in the existing "daily best" system. it would still encourage players to actually try their best at the event races and feel like there's some stakes in it. (active human moderation of suspicious race results is also necessary - we should be able to afford that now.) i also think, if someone has won the daily best, they should then not be able to get the daily best for at least another week, leaving place for other people... but this becomes a problem with alt accounts, so it needs more consideration, i dont have the full answer to that yet.

also, all the tack and clothes need a stats overhaul. the random top stats we currently have are stupid and they seem like they just didnt think about this at all. this is partially a dress up game, so you need to be able to dress up cute and still have top stats and be able to win champs. if possible, i would set staff to work on letting you upgrade any piece of equipment to max stats (which would be something like 5-10 in each stat i guess). this system might require starcoins to upgrade - a way for the company to earn money from cosmetic changes, that seems fair enough to me. (maybe there would be a way to pay with shillings and collectables, but just an easier way to pay with sc, it would be considered.)

we'd also need to sit down and take a good look at what all horses stats are, which horses seem to be boosted or nerfed in races for no reason, and make sure all horses at least function fairly and as intended. after that, to consider whether you should be able to train all horses to have the same max stats, or if we want to keep breeds unique and different, then those differences should also be well thought out and actually matter. right now, and for a long time, some horses are just better at races than others (pintabian, etc), and some (ardennes) seem to be shit for no real reason (other draft horses dont necessarily have the same problem). so it needs to be properly looked at and fixed so all horses at least have good reasons to be different, if they are different at all, and no bugs or unintended boosts and nerfs. horse stats should make sense for gameplay.

all the champs need to get their updated forms, so i also hope we could afford enough staff to have a few ppl working on updating the champs consistently until thats done. i do think a lot of sso's races also should be overhauled, because racing is the main gameplay we actually have (collecting light in hollow woods is not challenging and not really gameplay) and it should be satisfying, fun, and challenging, like playing a mariokart race (that doesnt mean it should play *like* a mariokart race, just that it needs to be fun). the highscore boards and the gold/silver/bronze medal systems are really, really neglected assets of sso's player motivation. if getting a gold medal score on a race was consistently actually difficult and required practice, and getting that gold medal also gave you a good reward (shillings, items) that motivated you to aim for it, then players might actually have fun challenging themselves for higher scores! the same goes for daily best / etc scores that should be looked into, what rewards they give, etc.

also, there should be a ban on adding any new npcs to the game if theyre not extremely necessary. sse has been adding new npcs left and right all the time, and it just clogs the game with random irrelevant characters that dont add anything to the game, it takes time and resources to make their model, give them a name, write their dialogue, and so on. instead, focus all that energy on actual relevant npcs and ones that players want to talk to and find out more about, hear their storylines, etc, and let races be handled with either existing npcs or with new and improved highscore board objects (make it obvious you click them to start the race).

of course, the art style of sso should never again change. art direction from now on is consistent and solid with an art director who understands their job, lead artists and lead animators who 100% understand what the goals are. directors who make sure that the quality of art, design, animation are up to the standards of the style we are using, that things fit together in the game. new models should not actually be "better" than the old ones - you end up in a destructive cycle where the art keeps changing. the style should be consistent with only relatively minor refinements over time. so, the art directors and leads need to make sure the style continues to be consistent, and update things that need to be. (im not sure how many areas of sso should really get the complete overhauls like silverglade village anymore - at some point you're also wasting resources on something less important than the gameplay and story, but some areas also look really outdated, so careful consideration needs to go into which areas to update and *how* to update them. maybe jarlaheim doesnt need a complete overhaul but a partial one. etc.)

the gen 4 horse needs to have very solid planning before release, which seems to have been the case so far from the little ive heard about it. if players can finally get a more custom horse with custom markings, mane and tail styles (preferrably available across breeds), and ability to pick coat, mane and tail colours separately, i think this would be great. it also relates to the whole thing with horse stats and just making sure that horses function properly and have reasons to actually have different stats and such, if theyre going to have that.

there also needs to be a decision made about sso's future - specifically, should we keep developing this game on this crappy messy engine for another decade, or should we eventually say, "this is sso 1, and we're finished with it (the story is finished, game isnt buggy, etc)" - and then go on to create a new game (while still keeping sso 1 running!) on a new, modern engine, where there is good direction and good planning from the very beginning? i dont know how far they got with project curie before cancelling it, whether theres much work to salvage, but i think that creating a new horse mmo set in jorvik (curie was supposedly not a horse game) as a more or less "sso 2" is a fair idea. the potential of customisable gen 4 horses might not really be that relevant for sso 1, or customisable player character faces and bodies like the sims. maybe this is stuff that should be in sso 2 from the very beginning, rather than patches trying to fix the mess that is the current sso? i think a lot of players wouldve been happier to see the old avatars and stuff remain in sso 1 and see the new, current artstyle we have be a separate game as sso 2 instead. (runescape classic etc.)

so, i would want to very carefully consider what really should be in sso 1 versus if we should be making sso 2. its possible to decide, actually we do want to just keep updating sso 1 and make it the best it can be, to basically keep adding expansions to it. but even if we decide that, the thing is, its hard to save the original story at this point due to the careless updates that have already been made for years. my question is, is it possible to give the loyal, old players a satisfying ending to this story and these characters' stories and this world's lore, within the current state of sso? or is it just too far gone off the track? so this needs to be carefully considered. maybe sso 2 could be a sort of remake of the story, starting with elements based on SSL, rather than the haphazard "uh these girls saved the world a while ago and now youre here i guess" that sso did start with. maybe its not too late to give the loyal long term players a satisfying end to the story. but its a complex issue that needs a lot of thought. (which should never have happened! the story shouldnt have changed the way it did, things shouldnt have been abandoned randomly, added randomly, changed randomly, all of this is just bad shitty direction and management without respect to the players, which is especially frustrating bc it goes right into "girl gamers dont matter, girl games dont matter,".)

there are more things, like a weather system, that i would have loved to see in sso but ultimately might be better to save for sso 2. or maybe sso keeps going with major updates and major expansions and then it would be relevant to consider for sso. the same thing for customising our home stable, getting a player home to customise, there are lots of fun ideas like this that i could talk about but that ultimately im not sure how much time and resources should be sunk into when sse have chosen to fuck themselves over for this long and caused this many problems with the game that need immediate attention to make it playable and enjoyable. so in this... essay... i focused mostly on solving problems and making the game a solid and fun experience, and what to prioritise to keep it that way, while these bonus new content like weather or customisable horses or customisable player faces/bodies and all that, would be great updates (or sso 2) but have to come as a bonus when everything else is under control.

so yeah thats covering both a lot of immediate stuff and long term considerations. this is like, a fraction of the stuff i've thought about. i have a lot more to say about a lot of things to fix in sso and other things that have to do with running companies too. and ofc theres a lot of things i just cant know from the outside, and so on, im not a perfect person who knows everything and never pretend to be (i have to say this bc ppl like projecting things on me just for being confident in my skills). getting to take over sse would still be a learning curve with finding out exactly where the problems are and how to solve them. i view this realistically. there are always unknown variables and things i'll have to figure out when i get to it, but you can do that if you have a strong core and strong direction that wont be swayed by capitalism or ooh shiny. i just know a lot about prioritising and directing and about ways to run healthier, better companies, and ways to be ethical and create good products instead of cash grabs - and i also value the skills and knowledge of others, which matters in finding the right people to work in the right positions. these are specific interests i have and spend a lot of time thinking about, analysing, studying, practising, etc.

if you or anyone else actually read all of this (im shocked) and want to discuss more about it or have questions about it, im all ears :D

[specialagentlokitty]

Hannibal lector x reader - unravelling

Part two:

Scoffing a little bit, you shook your head.

“I’m not spiralling into anything Jack, I’m doing fine.”

He shook his head, sitting down on the chair in front of you.

“No, you’re not. When was the last time you actually had a good sleep? A good meal?”

“Last night.”

Lying had become a strong suit for you, so as Jack stared at you, you felt never more at ease, simply just staring at him.

“I know the accident was hard on you, you’re refusing to process what happened. You know that isn’t healthy, and you moved in with someone you only met after a couple of months, you’re at a bar every other night, and apparently you’re not allowed anywhere alone. It isn’t healthy.”

You glared.

“Who the hell do you think made me come here? Huh? I was just going to blow tis off, Sam made me come.”

“He has an extensive criminal record.” Will said.

“From his teenage years, look it makes paying rent easier.”

“We offered you your job back, we offered you a desk position. We’re trying to help you adjust after the accident but you refuse to help us.” He sighed.

You turned to Hannibal who was just stood silently observing the conversation.

“I don’t want your help.”

“Please let us help you, it’s what we’re here for.” Jack said quietly.

You scoffed again, glaring at him.

“Help me? You’re the reason I was in the fucking accident Jack! You sent me in there alone, told me to follow him, he ran me off the road down a cliff!”

“You blame Jack for what happened to you?” Hannibal asked.

You turned your gaze to him.

“If Jack had actually blocked the roads I suggested he blocked we wouldn’t have gone down that backstreet.”

Hannibal slowly nodded his head.

“Perhaps we should speak without Jack or Will. Do you agree to stay if they leave?”

You nodded your head, watching as the two of them left, you didn’t bother to say a word to them.

When the door closed, you turned your gaze back to Hannibal who was watching you intently.

“Tell me about after the accident (Y/N).”

“Why?”

“Well, Will has already told me about what you were like beforehand, in fact everybody can contest you were a very different person beforehand. You were polite, kind, always smiling.”

You shrugged a little bit.

“Memory might be a big foggy, severe head trauma you know. Even got the scar to prove it.”

Hannibal hummed, nodding his head and leant forward a little bit, resting his arms on his knees as he clasped his hands together.

“How long did recovery take?” He asked.

“You have access to my files right? I’m sure you’ve read them.”

“I do, yes. It says you stopped attending your recovery program. Then you moved apartments around two months later.”

You shrugged a little bit.

“Medical bills and household bills are a lot to handle at once.”

“Yes, perhaps they are. Except the FBI payed your medical expenses.”

“Did they? Must have slipped my mind.”

Hannibal regarded you for a moment, taking some time to study you, the way you rested your head on your hand and the blank expression on your face.

“You have secluded yourself from your past self, refusing to allow anybody who knew you before the accident to come close to you. Perhaps you should consider opening yourself to them again.”

“No thank you.”

“Not even Will? The pair of you grew up together and you refused to tell him anything that happened.”

You refused to say anything, and you turned away from him.

“I understand traumatic events can change somebodies life, running from it won’t get you anywhere (Y/N).”

“I’m not running from anything.” You growled.

You clenched your jaw, balling your hand into a fist a few times.

“You were in a coma for a month, took another month to be released from hospital, you refused to leave your home for weeks, then went missing for two months, you returned completely changed, moved in with your friend outside.”

“I’m done talking about this.”

You stood up, making your way to the door.

“Will is looking into what’s been happening.”

You stopped, turning around to look at him.

“Come and see me next week. I’d like to carry on seeing you, I believe we could make some progress over time.”

You scoffed, leaving the office and Sam stood up, leading you outside and when you got back on to the street he showed you his phone.

“A curfew on the eighth ward?” You asked.

Sam nodded his head, putting it back in his pocket.

You felt a pair of eyes on you and turned around to see Hannibal look out his office window.

He offered you a wave, and you ignored him, turning back to Sam.

“Let’s go.”

Sam followed you down the street, once you were out of view you found a dark place to pull your mask and gloves on, making your way to the eighth ward.

Jumping up on a lamppost, you gestured for Sam to do the same thing and he did, pulling his hood up to help hid his dog mask.

You both made your way across the ward like that, avoiding the inspectors that were patrolling the ground below.

Stopping at an intersection, you found a few other ghouls doing the same thing and one of them gestured for you to go to a rooftop, so you all did.

The one in the fox mask stepped forward.

“They’ve shut down the whole ward. Anybody outside is being arrested and they have a warrant to test anybody arrested for rc cells.” Kyle said.

You nodded your head, and Sam crouched down on the ledge, glancing down before walking back over.

“Even got a helicopter coming in.” He said.

“We need to move out as fast as possible then, go back to forth ward.”

Everybody nodded, and you looked at the helicopter that was coming over the city.

“Let’s go!”

You led them all over the rooftops, the light on the helicopter over you guys in a matter of minutes, and you kept going.

You could hear shouting from below, and you saw the lights from this ward to the forth ward which was covered in darkness.

“Members of the hell hounds stand down now!” The person in the helicopter called.

“Go!”

You ushered everybody into the ward and you jumped over, aware of the light following you.

Turning around, you looked up at the helicopter, sticking your middle finger up at it.

“Grimm stand down!”

You lowered your hand, putting your hands into the pockets of your jacket.

“We will enter with force!”

You just carried on staring, knowing full well that they wouldn’t enter the forth ward.

Sam and Kyle walked up to you, standing next to you.

“Stop taunting.” Sam whispered.

“Why? It’s fun. We all know they’re not going to come in.”

“Let’s just go, we need to get back.” He grumbled.

You huffed a little, turning around to leave with him, using the ward as a shortcut to get back home and you changed.

Sitting on the couch you turned on the news, watching the headline article about hell hounds being spotted running through the wards.

“You’re getting reckless.”

“We both know they’ll never get the task force to bring us down. I want to drive the bastard doctor who fucked me up out.”

“You really think he’s going to buy that?”

“He wants to see if his experiment worked, I’ve no doubt he’ll be watching.”

Sam walked over, sitting next to you.

“Can’t you just ask your FBI friend to run the name?” He asked.

“No. I don’t want them knowing I’m looking for this man. Plus it was a fake name, when I requested to see my surgeon after they said nobody by that name ever worked there.”

Sam nodded his head.

“The therapist?”

“What about him?”

Sam glanced at you before turning back to the TV.

“Will you continue to see him?”

“If I want to keep them all away then I have to, they’ll just keep getting involved until I go back to see him.”

“If they find out?”

“They won’t.”

Sam hummed a little bit, nodding his head.

You went back to see Hannibal the following week, again avoiding all of his questions that he asked, and you carried on avoiding his questions.

You were living two separate lives, and it was easy enough to keep them apart, you had grown pretty used to pretending to be human, and running the hell hounds.

It was a busy schedule.

So often you showed up to your therapy late, which was something Hannibal picked up on and finally decided to bring up after a month of you resuming his sessions.

“Do I need to arrange your appointments later?” Hannibal asked you.

Walking through his door, you made your way over to the chair and sat down.

“No. I’m just a busy person.”

“New job?”

“No.”

Hannibal nodded his head.

“What do you do for work?”

“Nothing.”

He nodded again.

“Have you spoken to Will like I suggested?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Look, people grow apart Hannibal. I’ve grown into a different person and Will can’t handle that so there’s no point holding on to somebody who can’t handle when someone changes.”

“Why’s that?”

“It’s a waste of my time.”

He hummed a little bit.

You reached down, picking up your coffee cup and you took a sip from it.

You set your cup down, and brush some hair from your face.

“What if I were to set up a dinner for you and Will? I can do all the cooking, all you have to do is turn up, speak with him.”

“No thank you, like I said, not interested. I also don’t do dinner parties they’re not my thing.”

“Perhaps we could meet here then?”

“Nope.”

Hannibal set his notepad down.

“Do you not wish to be friends with Will anymore?”

You sighed a little bit.

“It doesn’t matter, we all go down different paths in life eventually right? Well, it’s my time.”

“Tell me (Y/N), do you wish to cut Will out of your new life?”

You thought for a moment about this, because you hadn’t ever thought about it before.

“Well, no. I just.. I want him to give me time, space. I get he’s worried but he’s all over me and what I’m doing. I need him to back off.”

“I see, so, if Will were to back away, would you be willing to get meet with him?” He asked.

“Maybe. I don’t know. Why are you so concerned about this anyway?”

Hannibal gave you a small smile, and leant back in his chair.

“I believe having contact with people from before your accident will help you process all that has happened. I believe you’re choosing to ignore the accident, meaning you aren’t processing everything that happened.”

“I’ve processed it.”

“Then tell me about it.”

You shook your head.

“No thank you, and I believe Doctor Lector our time is up.”

You stood up, grabbing your coffee cup, and you gave him a nod of your head as you walked towards the door.

“(Y/N)?”

You turned to look at Hannibal.

“If you want to talk about the accident, do get in touch.”

You didn’t say anything, you simply just left his office and Hannibal made his way over to his desk, taking his tablet to look at your medical file.

He had been studying it, because whatever happened just after that accident was the reason for your change in behaviour and there was a lot of holes in the records.

Something wasn’t adding up, he knew that and it made him curious, there was something about you that seemed so oddly familiar to him, and he wanted to know what

[farity]

Sorrow part 7

Elyse waited, learning what this new fear was. She went to see Helaena and her children, then walked around the library, the gardens, the kitchens, and finally paced back and forth in her room.

When she heard the great roar that she knew was Vhagar's, she ran outside, forgetting her slippers, and followed the throng of people racing to welcome back the king and the prince.

She didn't see the king's dragon, Sunfyre, and kept running towards Vhagar until she saw Aemond climbing down the great beast's side.

He was whole, he was safe. He was speaking to a man who then ran to call others.

When he turned, she saw he was covered in blood and she didn't stop running until she had her arms wrapped around him, the blood beginning to soak into her dress, but he was here and he was kissing her cheek and stroking her hair, and she took his mouth with hers, just for a moment, needing his touch.

She pulled back, and realized her dress was completely bloodied. "Whose blood?" she asked, touching his chest, his sides, looking for wounds.

"Aegon," he said, his voice dark.

Her eyes widened.

"He lives," Aemond continued taking her hand and leading her toward the keep, "but is gravely wounded."

She saw Alicent and Helaena standing at the gates, and felt guilty that they would soon know about Aegon, whereas she had Aemond back, healthy and safe.

Alicent's face grew more and more horrified as she waited for bad news. "He lives, mother. He is burned and his legs . . . I have sent for maesters to bring him back."

* * * * *

"He cannot rule."

Alicent turned towards her father. "You have ruled for him in any case, all I care about is that he heals." She was pacing back and forth now that the milk of the poppy had taken effect and Aegon's screams had finally subsided.

Otto's eyes landed on Aemond and Elyse felt a growing sense of dread. It was never a good thing when Ser Otto's gaze landed so heavily on someone. "It will be a long time before Jaehaerys can be presented as king."

Aemond stared back at his grandfather and one corner of his mouth lifted. "You've always known the crown would suit me better."

Alicent looked from her second son to her father. "Aegon will come back to us," she said, her voice thin.

"Did you see his legs, daughter?"

Elyse had. She had shaken her head when Aemond had told her she should go back to their rooms and followed him into the chamber where Aegon screamed in pain. He was burned so badly that his armor had melted onto his skin, and his legs were destroyed. If he ever walked again, it would be a miracle, and Elyse did not believe in those.

"A king who cannot stand before his people . . . " Ser Otto drifted off before turning back to Aemond. "You will be regent until Jaehaerys is old enough, there will be continuity in the realm and we will actually have someone interested in governing wearing the crown."

Aemond said, "I have not agreed."

"You do not need to agree," snapped Ser Otto, and Elyse flinched.

Placing an arm around his wife, Aemond said simply, "I will let you know my answer at dinner," and escorted Elyse back to their rooms.

"Is this where it all starts going wrong?" Alicent said, mostly to herself.

* * * * *

"What say you, wife?" Aemond asked.

Elyse studied him. "You do not need my approval, not my counsel, Aemond."

"I ask because there would be demands on your time as well, although I am sure mother would be more than agreeable to continue her duties." He ran his fingertips down the side of her face. "But as the wife of the regent, many would come to you with petitions and favors to ask."

"I will do whatever is asked of me," she responded. "Whatever I must do, I shall do it."

He smiled down at her. "I know this is all new to you. I am new to you. But believe me when I tell you I have no doubt that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to."

She stared up at him and he saw how her eyes filled with tears. "That is- um," she took a shaky breath, "that is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me."

"Do you wish to know why I took you with me?"

Elyse tilted her head to the side, "you've said it was because you felt badly for me."

Aemond let out a soft laugh. "Partly, yes. But do not believe my motives to be all so honorable." He looked at her, his blue eye blazing into hers. "I saw you crying, true, but then I saw you when you came out to bid us farewell the next day, and I wanted you."

He let the words sink in, let her examine his reasons, and hoped she wouldn't judge him too harshly.

"I thought I hadn't seen a more delicate and precious woman in my life. And yes, I saw the fear in your eyes, and it was then that I acted upon my instincts. I thought someone like you might never want someone like me, and then he spoke and your reaction spurred me to act."

"But you've never-" she began, "you've kissed me, but-"

"I am not a complete monster," he said. "But know that if I become regent, I will do monstrous things to keep us safe. To keep the realm and the family safe."

She reached up, cradling his cheek. "I know what monsters are, Aemond. You are not one. And I know little of governing but I would not judge what you do without knowing all the facts."

"That facts?" he laughed harshly. "I wanted Lucerys Velaryon dead. I did. I might not have pushed Vhagar to kill him, but gods help me, I wanted him dead."

"Do you not think I wanted my late husband dead? That I wished I had the strength to kill him myself? That every meal was agony because all I could envision was grabbing one of the knives and planting it in his throat?"

He brushed a golden lock back from her face.

"But I was so afraid. That I would fail and it would be so much worse then."

Aemond tipped her face up to his, brushing his lips against hers. "Then will you stand by my side as I take on this new duty?"

"Of course," she whispered, pulling him back down to kiss him again. "I will support you however I can, husband."

* * * * *

After speaking to his grandfather, Aemond sat at his desk, staring at the black crown before him.

He picked it up, turning it in his hands, and placed it on his head.

When Elyse walked in, she stopped at the sight, and dropped into a deep curtsy.

"Do not," he said simply. "But it does look better on me than it ever did on him."

"Aemond," she chided.

"Tomorrow we plan the next step," he added, extending his hand to her. "I would like for you to sit with me at council, so you can see what it is like."

"I will be there."

He took the crown off. "Gods, this is heavy." He walked to Elyse and kissed her. "I wish for no better treasure than you, wife."

Elyse smiled against his lips, but worried about the coming days. This war was nowhere near done, and now Aemond would be at the front of it.

[windcarvedlyre]

Hi! This is related to your recent excellent Komaeda headcanon post. Your opinion on Komaeda's thoughts on the Kamakura project is similar to mine, where I think he would admire Hinata's willingness to become a stepping stone for hope, just as Komaeda would. This was leading me to a weird thought... since Komaeda doesn't view his luck as a true talent that can bring hope to the world, what do you think would happen if HE was approached to be the subject of the Kamakura project, rather than Hinata? (assuming that Komaeda wasn't chosen as the ultimate lucky student and was just in the reserve course or something). Do you think he'd accept the offer, and what would his thoughts be about the whole thing?

(the post)

Thank you! I've been thinking about that too, but I'm not entirely sure.

As I said there, with someone else he cares about I think he'd like the idea on paper but wouldn't actually feel okay with it deep down, but if it was him specifically? He was already staring death in the face, and both of his terminal illnesses would be horrible, drawn out ways to die, the FTD being especially nightmarish. A lobotomy would be a more dignified, suffering-free way to stop existing and the project would make his 'death' very meaningful.

However, said terminal illnesses would likely render him ineligible in the first place; his brain is damaged and would continue to degrade unless Hope's Peak had discovered a cure, and they'd have to deal with his cancer at the same time- likely the thing responsible for his life expectancy estimate. He ended up outliving that but noone could have seen the future at the time (and treating him would be an extra expense regardless).

His luck would have been problematic as well. On one hand, as Hope's Peak seems to have worked out a way to give someone unusual luck, there's a chance the lobotomy could break his luck cycle and render him safe to be around. It's implied they studied him and his luck in some way as part of the project in the first place; he might be the reason Kamukura had unusual luck at all. But that isn't guaranteed, and the first Ultimate Everything having wild swings of luck constantly wouldn't be ideal from Hope's Peak's or Komaeda's perspective. His luck could even sabotage the procedure.

So even if Hope's Peak offered, maybe he'd turn it down and tell them not to waste all of those resources on him?

If he wasn't terminally ill I'm not sure whether he'd sign up either; his worldview has presumably been around for much longer than his diagnosis, but I don't know whether he'd be willing, or as willing, to self-destruct if his death wasn't already looming. Hinata signed up while completely healthy, I guess? But the luck issue remains, and that can't be removed from the equation without completely changing Komaeda as a person.

EDIT: I should add that his subconscious feelings about talent in 2.5 could complicate things further, whether the candidate for becoming Kamukura is him or someone else. He'd already have that subconscious distaste for someone healthy being lobotomised clashing with his surface-level ideology and this could exacerbate that, but it doesn't seem to be something he's consciously aware of or acts on outside of that specific mental space. Dude's a mess.

Hell, maybe experiences he's had after starting at Hope's Peak seeded that distaste in the first place. If he discovered or suspected they were studying his luck to experimentally recreate it in other people I don't think he'd like that at all.

[yuikomorii]

Maturing is realising that Ayato is the Diaboy who shares the most qualities with Yui. 🤭

// I'm pretty sure that was Rejet's intention, haha. This is primarily due to the fact that they are both 0 blood type blueprints.

In Japan, blood type is a way more important indicator of someone’s personality than zodiac signs and if you search the 0 traits, you’ll see that they fit both Ayato and Yui perfectly: energetic, honest, easygoing, strong-willed, reliable and so on. Even the blood type is called 楽観主義 which means “optimism”.

I believe both of them are really mentally strong characters, which is one of the reasons why I love them. Another similarity is that they are both extremely empathetic and forgiving, to the point of appearing uhm… not so healthy anymore. I understand that those qualities are desirable, but there is a thin line between being compassionate or understanding and still trying to maintain good relations with people who who gave you such a hard time (as mentioned here in Ayato’s case).

I feel like the reason why they are so forgiving and empathetic is actually because they don’t want others to feel alone.

It is well known that as Yui grew older, Seiji became increasingly busy, making her spend a significant amount of time alone. Ayato used to play with his brothers until Cordelia tried to make an heir out of him, forcing him to spend his entire childhood alone in a room studying. Even the butler admitted in LE that he treated Ayato differently (in the negative way) than the others due to Cordelia's orders, but he eventually apologized to him.

You can see that throughout the routes there are a lot of times when Yui says "But if you do that, you will be alone…" or "I don't want to leave -inserts name- alone!". Ayato also seems to be like that, as he tells Laito in his LE route that no matter how much he despises him, he will always be there for him because he doesn't want him to struggle alone any longer. The same could be said about Kino's LE route because Ayato is the first person to recognize Kino as his brother because he realized he was Karl's abandoned son and wanted to make him feel like he belonged to the Sakamaki family too.

What I'm trying to say is that, while Ayato and Yui dislike being alone, they're not the "I need you because I'd be alone without you!" type, but rather "I'll be there for you because I don't want you to be alone anymore!" type. In some ways, they are projecting their fears onto others, but in this case, it is simply because they care too much.

They're also the only characters Laito wanted to see suffer because, in his eyes, they are the ultimate good people. The way Yui continued to be kind to him and resist in HDB only made Laito want to break her even more, and he also admitted hating Ayato for being honest and pure-hearted, and mentioned hoping to see him suffer. He did and said such things because he believes that if Cordelia hadn't defiled him, he would have been the same, and this is what hurts him the most.

Something I like so much about Ayato and Yui is how neither of them is afraid to confront or even disagree with Karlheinz; Yui's "I'll be the one to decide my life and future." (DF) and Ayato's "I don't need your powers, I choose my own destiny." (CL) are two of the most powerful phrases ever spoken in Diabolik Lovers because this demonstrates that they will not allow themselves to be controlled by Karlheinz or by anyone. Both of them may be dumb at times, but being badass can take many forms; it isn't just about fighting an enemy or devising elaborate plans.

Last but not least, they both believe in Santa Claus and that’s the cutest thing ever! I mean, if vampires exist in the DL universe, why wouldn’t Santa Claus exist too? xD

I am aware that both Ayato and Yui can be too silly and childish at times, but keep in mind that they are supposed to represent teenagers, so I believe people should be less judgmental here. ^^”

[heartsoji]

BOKUTO X READER

tw: death of a dog // angst-ish w/ comfort

"cheer up!"

"you're so strong for not crying! keep it up!"

"it's ok! they're in a better place. you should just be happy for them!"

"just don't think about it!"

those phrases, with some type of wording variation, were words you had heard a little too frequently lately.

3 days ago, your beloved dog had ascended to the clouds, and you had been a wreck internally since.

various people had said some sort of alteration of the above four phrases at least a few dozen times. and while you knew that they were simply trying to offer their comfort without malicious intent, their comments would either aggravate you or further add to your desolation.

you understood that it was scary. it would be scary seeing someone who you'd built up in your mind to be a sweet, bubbly, cheerful person breaking down and breaking character. it would be scary seeing them cease to be the person you once knew and loved. you wouldn't know who they were anymore and you were now desperately trying to keep them in character to preserve the bubbly image of the person in your mind.

you knew that you had to move on. you were a mess inside and you could feel your sadness continue to grow exponentially each and everyday.

however, no one would ever know you were such an internal wreck just by looking at you. you were trying so hard and doing a very good job at keeping up a good front. smile at your peers and teachers. keep your appearance tidy. go out with friends after school.

you, too, were trying to preserve the bubbly image of yourself in your mind.

"good morning, sensei!"

"good morning, l/n."

"yui-chan! good morning!"

"y/n-chan! morning! energetic as usual!"

"ah, bokuto-san! morning!"

"morning! how are you?"

you paused for a tiny fraction of a second. you felt your features trying to twist into a pained expression. you wanted to say, "not well, actually. i've been a wreck since, as the whole school knows for whatever reason, my dog passed recently." you wanted to cry. you wanted to go home. you wanted to scream. you wanted for your best friend to come back.

but you refused to let any of your thoughts show. pushing past it with a perhaps overly wide and possibly fake-looking smile, you replied, "great! i got a lot of sleep last night. how about you?"

bokuto, too, paused for a second. but not because he had to think about how he was doing, but because he saw the perhaps millisecond of hesitation. because he saw the slight crack in your cheerful facade. because he saw the way you tried to cover it up with an extra burst of cheer. because he saw it. because he saw you.

he chose not to comment on it, but made a mental note of it. "really good! i studied real hard last night, and i'm sure im gonna pass the math test today!"

"that's great!" you replied. "good luck!" and with that, you moved on with your day.

later, when you went outside, you realized that it was raining, and that you'd have to walk home in the pouring rain. you really didn't feel like getting wet today, so you chose to wait it out. the forecast said that it would take a mere 45 minutes, anyways.

two hours later, and you were still scrolling on your phone, waiting for the heavy rain to pass.

you sighed and set down your phone, bored. you had heard before that rain symbolized rebirth. perhaps right now, your beloved pup was getting reborn into a different body. you wondered if they were getting treated well in a nice home. if they had a warm bed and healthy meals. if they were doing well without you.

suddenly, you felt the drip-drip-dripping of not the rain from the sky on your legs, but the rain from your eyes instead. you had been so bottled up lately, and you could suddenly feel the cap pop off and all the emotion rushing out. you had been trying so hard to make it seem like everything was ok, when it reality, it wasn't. your best friend suddenly wasn't here anymore, and you felt more alone than ever. you had spent so much time and effort trying to be happy, but it wasn't working in the slightest, and you felt awful and incompetent for it. sobs wracked your body as you cried and grieved for your lost best friend. however, even in these moments, where you were obviously breaking down and having a much-needed cry, you were thinking to yourself, "why are you crying? keep up a smile! this is no time to be wallowing in pity. smile. smile. smile."

suddenly, you felt a gentle hand on your back. you turned around to see bokuto, setting his stuff down and coming to sit next to you.

"b-bokuto-san? oh my gosh, i'm so sorry. uhm, i actually, uh, stubbed my toe and it really hurt, so that's why i'm crying. gosh, i probably look like such a mess." you blabbered lamely.

"you know," he started, "if there's something bothering you, you can feel free to let me know. i'm a pretty good listener!"

you wiped your face quickly. "oh, don't worry. seriously, there's nothing wrong."

bokuto paused for a moment. "sorry if this is invading your privacy, but, well, i heard your dog died recently."

you're not quite sure why that was what set you off, but it did. like an old dam breaking down, a flood was released from your eyes as you let out loud, somewhat embarrassing sobs.

bokuto calmly rubbed your back with his large hand. "wanna talk about it?" he asked in a sort of soothing tone.

you weren't usually the type to complain or dramatize your situation in fear of burdening others with your problems. you had developed the habit of bottling up in order to not do so, and you thought that you'd been doing a good job at suppressing your emotions and pretending like everything's fine when it isn't. however, something about bokuto, whether it be the way he asked, his voice, the situation, whatever, tore down the walls you had built over the years. suddenly, you found yourself venting and bawling like a baby to a classmate you had never had a real conversation with. it was a bit embarrassing, humiliatingly vulnerable, but apparently much needed.

"and, well," you said in between your sobs, "everyone's been telling me to just be happy! and to not think about it! but sometimes, i don't know, i just really, really, really, want to cry and scream like a baby. i'm so tired of being the cheerful yet mature, infallible, reliable, therapist character! i just sometimes wish that i could lean on somebody, even if only for a few moments, even though that's also my worst nightmare. i hate that i don't even understand what im feeling! i hate it! i hate it!" you cried into him.

bokuto let you cry silently for a minute before starting with, "sometimes, i get into moods when im playing volleyball where i'm grumpy, annoyed, and frankly, useless." he chuckled a little before continuing, "my teammates call it 'bokuto's emo mode.'" his facial expression saddens a bit before saying, "they always tell me to snap out of it and to cheer up, but i don't think that they understand that sometimes, i just want to be sad."

you felt your heart pang a little. honestly, you couldn’t believe that a guy whom you’d never exchanged more than a brief set of hellos with seemed to understand your feelings better than your lifelong friends. “i just want to be sad,” huh? that indeed did feel accurate. you wanted to cry and sob for nights without end, but had never allowed yourself to before. it felt too vulnerable and dramatic to cry and feel sad about it.

you thought for a moment. “yeah,” you replied simply, not because you didn’t know what to say, or you didn’t agree, but actually, because you agreed entirely. bottling things up had always made things worse, whereas crying to bokuto felt therapeutic and relaxing. “honestly, this whole talk thing’s making me feel a lot better.

“im glad.” bokuto smiled warmly. “ill always be here if you ever need to talk again.”

and he kept that promise to be there, but not just for talking. he continued to be there for your highest and lowest moments, for your anger and resentment, for your sadness and angst, for your fear and disgust, for your bliss and joy.

he’d be there for your ongoing battle with depression, for your growth in talking about your problems instead of bottling it up, and for your 3am cravings.

he’d also be there for the first time you’d accepted a confession, which, coincidentally, happened to be from a guy named bokuto.