#someone send customers to me

[jittyjames]

bored out of my mind at work bc it’s the week before christmas and no one ever comes and i’ve cleaned this whole place top to bottom and i still have to fucking babysit it so i bring you….

what the jesusi would order from subway brought to you by your local sandwich artist (and why)

(no one will have ham or bacon bc THEYRE JEWISH. and don't fight me on this. i'm the expert.)

2012 bway jesus

he gets the philly steak because it’s the first thing on the menu and he gets frustrated because he doesn’t know how to work a subway without mary and judas (this happens more often than you’d think.) he gets it exactly how it comes on the menu but is dissatisfied bc he doesn’t like green peppers and didn’t realize they were there. he still tips. he inevitably fucks up every time he comes into the shop and ends up dissociating until it’s time to pay. but also buys a pack of the raspberry cookies for mary and judas!!!

arena tour jesus

a vegan, so he get the veggie delight! he gets it on wheat bread with no cheese (but the bread warmed!) and then he gets all the fresh veggies. lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, cucumber, onions, green pepper, and black olives. he also gets with olive oil, red wine vinegar, and a sprinkle of salt ✨but he WILL be getting a bag of crisps to go with it. a super chill customer who is really polite, but not overly bubbly to the point it’s grating. orders quickly and promptly leaves. tips, but makes sure to do it in cash so it won’t go to the company.

2k jesus

he would get the mexicali. it’s indulgent and earthy and rich. it’s a lot. and this jesus is a lot. also everyone who gets this is super nice and they know what the want. mexicali people are good people. he gets it with provolone cheese instead of pepperjack and has them leave off the onions and adds banana peppers. herb and cheese bread! because he’s extra! he does not tip but it’s bc he doesn’t know tipping is a thing at subway.

(okay i admit this is mostly bc there''s a guy who looks just like him who always gets this one even though its not on the current menu. i still make it for him. and that just has the vibes of glensus.)

1973 jesus

this dood is just classic. like yeah. this guy would eat fish. he would get the most basic sub you can think of. and it’s tuna. and everyone thinks he’s wrong for it. but he likes it, so it’s okay. he’s a whole grain guy and he doesn’t get cheese or sauce on it. he’s a cucumber and olive man. that’s it. he’s the type of customer that leaves the employees going “…huh.” he’s the type that just appears at the counter and you didn’t even hear him walk in. he will also always start at the wrong end. but super nice and easy. you learn his order and can make it as soon as you see him. super polite. not very talkative. he tips in coins.

2024 dutch tour jesus

sweet onion terriyaki chicken. the best one. he has the best taste. (this was my fav one before i went vegetarian.) it’s savory but also pleasant and light and it’s a nice little treat. and he deserves a nice little treat. i think he’s a flatbread fellow. for veg he would get spinach, onion, green pepper, and a light glaze of the sauce. maybe he would even add some pepperjack cheese bc he likes a diverse flavor profile! heated and not toasted bc he likes the bread soft like him! the type of customer the employees love getting because he’s always polite and kind (and pretty)! will also tip! this guy walks in and you'll tell your coworker “oh, i'll get him!“

50th anniversary tour jesus

a cutie sweetie pie. he just gets something quick so he can get back to it. he's been getting the same sandwich since he was a child and came in with the virgin mary. just a plain turkey and american cheese (get it for the american tour) on italian bread with lettuce and light mayo. never tomato though. if he gets tomato by mistake, he will politely pick them off and give them to someone else. but more recently, he's been indulging and ordering one of the soft pretzels with honey mustard to go with it. considerate and polite customer who will chat about music with you while you make his sandwich. (you'll slip him a coupon bc he's adorable.) forgets cash, so he doesn't tip but he will most definitely thank you profusely.

2014 Swedish Tour Jesus

straight up just gets that terrifying footlong cookie. It smells amazing (so does he) and they're both intimidating as hell. he straight up walks into the store with his shirt unbuttoned and his sunglasses on. you've never seen anyone brave enough to actually buy this, but if anyone could do it, it's him. he would not eat an actual sandwich from the store. the idea freaks him out. your overly flirtatious coworker will try to ask him out. he'll laugh. then he'll ask for two forks (will he share with judas? mary? he hasn't decided yet.) and tips a surprisingly large amount that makes your jaw drop. you will be googling him to see if he's a celebrity afterwards. but no, he's just like that.

[lizzybeeee]

Friendly reminder the Dragon Age Devs AMA is happening later today for all you Americans out there! Consider me very impressed that a majority of the questions with the greatest upvotes are quite critical of the game!

I linked it below!

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pictures and things

[possum-quesadilla]

Please send good vibes my way. Work is exploding rn

[bananasofthorns]

red for avery?

🔴 Red - What is a trait your OC has that those around them don't see very often? Is it seen by a rare few or completely overlooked?

He actually enjoys and is good at small talk, being charming, and building a rapport with people, but he works night shift gas station customer service and lives in a tinyass town trying to avoid a cult that wants him dead. He's friendly with the other people in town but he's trying not to get close to anyone or make himself noticeable (first mistake: moving to a tinyass town). (To be fair to him, though, the cult didn't catch up for like six months.) (And the townspeople like him so much that they didn't even really blink at the subsequent Horrors (and murder) (and arson) that he and the cult presence went through.) (They think he got possessed by an an angel to rid the town of evil (he now shares a brain with headmates AND an actual literal demon)).

orb oc ask game

[razzek]

Just added "dni" to my filtered words list and this site is already so much better. :D Now I can passively enjoy art without having to look at the artist's gaping asshole in their pinned posts when I want to see if they've drawn anything else cool.

[eleneressea]

always thinking about Cuiviénen

[tj-crochets]

Hey y’all! I hadn’t mentioned it by name because I wasn’t sure if it was regional or not, but I found out it’s not regional so: Aetna is the worst insurance company. It sucks! Avoid it if you can. All my insurance issues have been because of Aetna. Aetna refuses to pay for my maintenance inhaler or my rescue inhaler, and refused to pay for a holter monitor for me when I’ve had tachycardia issues for a full decade. A heart monitor my doctor ordered to check if I had major electrical issues because if I did I’d need a pacemaker to prevent severe cardiac complications (I don’t have those issues, for the record).

[mute-call]

since steven didn't have time to clean his office before he was jumped, what would michael find in there that would be personal to him, upon starting the next shift?

;;

AOU this is such a good question.. TYSM!!

he leaves mike.... his trash <3 /lh lh lh

on a serious note, i've put in one of my ghost threads that steven's bag is still in the security office. i think he carries a pretty large black shoulder bag with all sorts of crap in it, from old coupons to a journal he's barely written in. a little collection of his life which unsurprisingly means it's full of miscellaneous freddys stuff. but i think there's more to it / more in there than just that, which is perhaps one of the rare like,,, insights into his life OUTSIDE of freddys that's available. little daily items, old lighters, stickynotes he's written to himself & forgotten to toss out. an absence of any family-oriented items because it's been too long since he's seen them for him to keep any of that in his work bag.

i don't think there would be anything too too exciting to find, just a lot of stuff that reminds you that he was like, a person. which i think would be more rough to discover under the circumstances, tbh.

[ripdragonbeans]

.

[whimsyprinx]

I will quite literally probably never accept that anyone likes me romantically

[peineperdu]

some customer called me a whore/cunt because i wouldn't give him money (since it's not legal)

[disgustedorite]

I think I got someone at work fired and I've been having mixed feelings about it

[localdorkincombatboots]

Powers been out all day. I walked to work in one hell of a storm that literally forced me to run at times from how strong the wind was. Sure hope my shoes somehow dry by the time I need to start walking to work tomorrow. Desperately wish the electric will come back on some time soon. Everything in the fridge has gone bad by now.

[lunariarts]

Fella came in to my office to deliver some food. I know this because he did not greet me. He just shoved his bright as fuck phone over my monitor. There was an address on there, I'm sure, but I could not see the words. He attempted to make an expression at me, but I have never felt so close on the evolutionary scale to a chimpanzee than I have in that moment. I think I could have torn flesh from his bones had I just unshackled the invisible chains of decorum and humanity. I would never have been able to go back had I done so. So much would have been lost to me; gay sex, tabletop games, sending anons to you rather than making my own posts. Alas, humanity has been instilled deep within me, so I told him where to go. I should have said hell, but I said the correct address.

I'm so proud of you for staying strong and keeping yourself together but you have to understand that this is my every single day akdjsdhd people just show up at my job!! And I say hi and greet them and they don't say hi back and just hold their phones out and stare at me. It like absolutely affects me. It sucks!! I empathize hard with u anon.

And don't worry!! Regardless of how many people whose flesh you rend you can always have gay sex and table top games and sending anons with me I would never turn you away. Umm unless you tried to rend my flesh I guess I couldnt do anything if I'm dead so just be careful

[scatteredcloud]

Going on yet another rant about “merch”

If you did not screen print that shirt yourself, you did not make it.

You made the design on it, which I’m sure would be a nice poster or sticker perhaps? Which of course you didn't print yourself, that sounds hard! An embroidered design? Maintaining a 12 needle embroidery machine capable of producing a design with that many colors for the number of orders being received is a lot of work, that's pretty impressive! Not to mention maintaining proper tension on the frame working with a hundred stretchy t shirts, which idk came from somewhere who knows! Your repeating pattern looks very nice on a skirt that you did not make and was mass produced by some Vietnamese person getting paid pennies so that ~50 gay people on the internet could pay for international shipping for a design you “made”. Wow that mug is awesome didn’t know you got into sublimation printing! And have a cylindrical heat press to be able to do not just mugs, but tumblers too! Woah your sublimation set up can do bed sheets (any size)? And shower curtains? And three different shapes of throw pillow stuffed with poly fill, which will never decompose and isn't comfortable to begin with?

Your poorly digitized vector art looks lovely as an enamel pin now that someone else (Who? More like who cares!) cleaned it up for you and then created moulds for and maybe even hand injected the enamel into only for you to sell maybe seven or eight of them. Aw damn your design got ripped off? Who could have guessed that with the distribution power of an entire manufacturing plafffnt that has hundreds, if not thousands of moulds sitting around that they might have used your mould to make themselves a profit for a change! Those money grubbing Chinese bastards! After all, you were there every step of the way, casting the negative of the mould, running the injection of liquid metal into that mould, mixing each color of enamel, and precisely filling each segment of the design, which you refused to simplify! You just can't compromise with art.

Ohhh I see they’re made to order so its more sustainable. So this factory (Guatemala? India? The Philippines? Pakistan? Could you point to it on a map? They just don't teach you this stuff in school!) Anyways this factory in some poor country has to keep your design on file, oh and for your enamel pins they have to keep the mould too! Ahh right but it’s sustainable, because it's a limited run. You’re the 100th person this week to place an order, and they're only printing 50 of your design, you should complain to the manufacturer about how slow your orders are being filled.

I love supporting small businesses - it’s just you after all! With all the hard work you’ve put into fiddling around in procreate who has time to figure out material acquisition, and production runs, and printer calibration, and inventory management, and machine maintenance, and payment processing, and international shipping, and packaging, and