#someone pls make it into a fic i cant write to save my life;;;

[bakaqb]

Azula is still getting visited by the spirit from the temple even after defeating it, and it really likes to use Ty Lee's form and Ty Lee has been having some strange dreams involving those visits..

Just an idea I needed to get out of my head after reading Azula in the Spirit Temple just hear me out sfwefefwe

[captainaikus]

✨Third one✨ (part 1)

ASJJFYJKHFTUJHG. As soon as I saw the header with Oliver I know it was finally time. LET THE FLIRTY-PLAYBOY-BABYGIRL SERIES BEGIN!!!!

I wanted to take my time diving into this fic and really digest and understand it as much as I can on my first read because I know it’ll be amazing so I saved it for last.

Love the setting up. The description is fantastic. Ohhhh there’s an older sister huh? I wonder if that relationship will come into play later 👀👀. PSHHHHHHHH THEIR FIRST INTERACTION IS LITERALLY COMPARABLE TO TWO JUDGY BRATS PLS ADJMHGGJNNH. This is amazing I already love where this is going Belle. Oh and they tolerate each other now? Hmmmm very much the potential for ignored feelings. “You can pay me back when you become a football star” oh ho ho making promises for the future already are we now? Loving how y/n is a tsundere but still shows that she cares. It’s really cute and adorable. ASHKKGFKKJHGGGG WHY IS IT ALWAYS 16 💀💀??? When I was 16 I was busy trying to survive high school, pass my classes, and watching anime. And here we have realizations of love already what?? Not a problem at all tho I love how quick this is moving along. Getting to the meat of it soon I hope. GASPS YOU DID NOT!!!! AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES ASDJKGGHJHHHG YESSSSSS. NAHHHHH STAB ME IN THE HEART WHY DONT YOU HE REALLY PULLED THE GAY ROOMMATE CARD OLIVER ISTG IF YOU DONT GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR- ahem anyways tough luck y/n stay strong girl 😭😤. Not you already being his wife what is this married-with-benefits 💀💀. Oliver wake up and kiss her already idc if it’s only chapter one 🙄😤🤚🏼. Oh thank God the sisterhood is safe *sighs in relief* as much as I love the drama that would’ve occurred if it had gone “that” route there seriously needs to be more loving sister relationships in writing, blood related or not. We Stan a supportive older sister 😤😤 (that digs up our buried love feelings for us even though we buried then for a reason 💀💀). LOVING THE ADVICE YES PUT YOURSELF FIRST YOU CANT WAIT FOR SOMEONE FOREVER BECAUSE OF THE POTENTIAL YOU SEE IN THEM AND STUNG YOUR OWN GROWTH IF THE TIME IS RIGHT ITLL HAPPEN. This is making me cry what the heck. I really needed to hear a variation of this at many points in life. I swear to God if Oliver starts coming around right after we start moving on I’m gonna riot. On the other hand love how y/n is starting to be real with herself like yes sweetheart you deserve better (and you’ll get that in him after you both grow separately ofc). OH ITS GONNA BE DUAL POV????? HECK YEAH GIMME THE TINY DETAILS FROM THE OTHER PERSON!!!! Oof not the wedding invite scenario pls this reality setting in part is hurting me so much legit tearing up rn gimme a minute Belle 😭😭. *sniffles* but the GROWTH it’s the first step y/n I know it’s hard but you gotta separate honey 😭😤. NO PLS GOD NO HOW DARE HE COME BACK AS IM SOBBING WHAT THE HECK OLIVER PRIVACY MAN. Not him giving you physical affection right when you’re most vulnerable and coming to terms with getting over him and looking all worried LIKE NO STOP THIS IS NOT HELPING OLI. Oh no not the alcohol 💀💀. This is gonna go great just fantastic isn’t it? *inhales deeply* Belle I’m not joking when I say that I was screaming internally the entire sex scene LIKE WHAT. Kicking my feet blushing and everything. It really felt so real. And the dialogue??? Magnificent!!! Tbh it was my favorite part. In my head I was like “NOOOOOOOO” when you kissed him but at the same time “…yes” when it started getting steamy and the teasing plus the praise??? Kill me now why don’t you. NOOOOO NOT THE AWKWARD MORNING *sobs* I mean I was expecting it but like. Serious. Emotional. Damage. 😭😭😭. Oh no. No you can’t be serious. Tearing up again hold on. The eavesdropping on the phone convo broke my heart seriously ouch. Not the way I gasped when he just walked passed the suitcases. Ahh yes. The m word huh? Excuse we while I go sob again. Almost nothing hurts worse than being called a mistake. Either from yourself or others it’s never fun. Speaking from experience. I knew the emotional outburst confession was coming. I knew. But still. Damn. If only everything could be fixed by telling your feeling out. Love her for that. Finally coming clean with everything. Also Oliver’s being such a jerk and an asshole rn but I know the later redemption is gonna be worth it. Still pissed at him rn tho.

- ✨ anon

✨Third one✨ (part 2) It really made me make a part two because the word count was too high the heck.Still pissed at him rn tho. Anyways moving on. I freaking adore how she also wrote her current feelings down as a part of the first letter. And how she just. Didn’t hesitate. And moved on. We’ve got a flight to catch. Oh my God that fic was amazing. Seriously. You outdid yourself. The pacing was fast enough that it didn’t feel dragged out. The characterization was absolutely on point. The oc characters had their own personalities no matter how few lines they had. The dialogue was emotional and to the point. And it was just overall really realistic in the sense of being human, loving, hurting, and moving on. It made me cry so many times. I had to take so many breaks Belle. It was seriously amazing and I loved it so much. I cant wait for the second chapter whenever it comes out!!! - ✨ anon

I read this ask over 20 times (or maybe more already) cause i love it when people go over the details of my writing and you got all of them! (⋟﹏⋞) Thinking if i should make a note of recommended songs before the chapter so that it make it a more immersive experience? The original setup was supposed to be different back in August, but then I came up with this in September. Mei was a part of the story, but the age gap was a really big one - and i had to make a change midway, so mei is 3 years older than (y/n)... I wanted to keep the pacing of the story to a medium because sometimes the details and the amount of drama that happens is such a drag that I wanted to move past that and onto the real stuff; not to mention that if i did drag it out, it would be more than 5 chapters. Mei and (y/n)'s relationship is gonna have more emphasis as the story progresses (cause honestly this is a simple plot but a very complicated one to explain and I don't wanna give away spoilers cause I wanna just see the reaction you guys are gonna give me) and most of the lines that i used in the first part are the ones that are going to be covered in the latter part of the series. it is going to be a dual pov (spoilers for part 2; the story is gonna be from Oliver's pov.) oh god- and this was the first part💀. you might need the whole box of tissues honestly for the onslaught that's gonna come. (i did cry btw. I ate the jar of nutella in such short time for a reason) The sex was such a drag to write honestly 💀 cause i was just not feeling it. Like really not feeling it; and i wanted to get to the conclusion and the angst (cause the potential for dialogue and feelings is high in those areas) but in the end, it ended up being satisfactory when i read it. Leaving the alcohol part out, everyone's first time should be a fun one and my attempt at keeping your standards and expectations high . (you saying that it felt real made my day, cause often times when i read smut, i really can't relate to it cause it straight up sounds like porn sometimes and porn is very unrealistic.) As for the concluding part of it, i had a bit of a struggle cause (y/n) needed a reason to back away from Oliver and the eavesdropping on the other side of the door was the last straw. And then... I just let my fingers do the magic, just typing everything out.

The amount of times I cried cause of the songs I used to write all of this, and the fact that it hits close to home. The second part is going to go on the ao3 account... still deciding the username i want so that i can upload my works there

But thank you for liking and reading it - cause i really enjoyed writing this one. i've already decided the songs i want to put for the next chapter

[lunaastoir]

Hi! I really enjoy your writing so is it alright if i request xiao, diluc, childe with an idol s/o where one of their old stalkers come back or they just recently had a stalker in general but with how busy they were since they’re an idol they don’t even notice? And something bad happens (i cant think of anything</3) Thank you very much !!

hi anon!! a million apologies since this is so late but i hope you like the fic <3

there also aren’t any explicit details for anything bad happening - i briefly touched on subjects that you may not have control over, i hope that’s ok! 

warning (?): struggled a bit on this prompt so i apologize in advance if this isn’t my best work LMAOO

gn! reader

tw: hints of assault, slight angst, very light abuse if you squint

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

xiao

now xiao is a very observant man but he's also extremely busy keeping liyue safe

he makes it a point to always come to your shows even if you don't actively see him bc he cares a lot abt you and he enjoys listening to your music ‼️

it's normal for him to sometimes get lost between his own world of demonslaying and the world he shares w you

so one night, he's hanging on the rafters of a house with the perfect view of your singing

everything goes smoothly, he sets his spear down while lightly swaying his head to the music

the concert ends and fans disperse after you say your farewells

a night like this is rare since for once, xiao can walk home w you back to the inn sweet boy really cleared out his schedule for you huh

you're unsurprised when you see him materialize next to you, opting to flash him a smile and a hello

his cheeks are lightly flushed as he crosses his arms before talking quietly about how well you did

he relishes in the wide smile you give him as a result of his praise and he lets the corners of his lips curve upwards slightly

the quiet bustle of the harbor seemed to slow down as the night grew longer

since this was a fairly large concert, you had boxes among boxes of equipment so xiao decided to make your life easier by quickly flying them to their appropriate locations

when he got back however, he was surprised to see you talking animatedly with someone

he didn't think anything was wrong until he saw the person trap you between the stage and words filtered into his ears

your back was painfully pressed against the stage wall as you defiantly met their gaze. after xiao had left, they had immediately come over to you: first introducing themselves as a fan and making amiable conversation, before divulging in personal details of your life that made your skin crawl. you weren’t helpless, you always had your weapon on hand regardless of whether you were performing or not. the way they pushed you against the wall however, made it near impossible to summon your sword should you need it. 

they leered down at you while balancing an arm against the wall next to your head. you had dealt with things like this before so you weren’t overly worried; you could defend yourself. you almost felt pity for the person in front of you as they asked for your number with a sadistic grin, disgusting words tumbling off of their lips. however, that was before you felt their cold fingers idly make their way to your stomach and you felt your breath hitch. oh no

the telltale sound of whooshing alerted you of xiao’s presence, and the press of the tip of his spear against their jugular brought you relief. 

“back away” he tightly growled while his golden eyes narrowed into slits. they stared at him in shock before holding their hands up and moving to step a foot away from you. 

“farther” he motioned with his spear before stepping in front of you as you attempted to collect yourself. 

“ok ok, i’m far away can you put your spear down now?” 

“no.” 

you mentally cursed as you watched the two of them glare at each other. this was supposed to be a carefree night but this unfortunate twist made the air thick with tension. you could feel the anger radiate off of xiao in waves and in an effort to deescalate the situation, you spoke. 

“i’m glad to meet such an...avid fan but i’m sorry the two of us must get going now” you hastily said before attempting to grab xiao’s hand and walk off past them. 

the next words had you halt your steps as they divulged their secret. 

words painted in careless arrogance with hints of violet overconfidence flew out of the person’s mouth - “judging from the weeks i’ve been following you, it didn’t seem like you had a boyfriend”

at the mere mention of prolonged stalking, xiao immediately lunged to pull you behind him. god, he didn’t kill mortals but he swore if he plunged his spear into this human being right here, no one would even blink twice considering how low of a person they were. 

“if i ever see you near them again, i will not hesitate to kill you. i won’t blink twice, i already have blood on my hands.” he ground out.

at the threat, the person grudgingly turned their back to you before leaving the two of you alone in the quiet harbor. 

you carefully reached a hand out to touch your boyfriend’s shoulder, but stopped after you saw the expression on his face. the mix of rage, sadness, and anguish imprinted his features as you watched his chest rapidly rise and fall - a result of his emotional battle. 

“i’m sorry i didn’t notice them before. i should’ve been paying more attention to you” he whispered before silently striding away from your grasp 

you knew that no matter how many reassurances you gave him about how, “it’s not your fault xiao, i didn’t notice them either” he would still blame himself. 

he was supposed to protect you right? so why couldn’t he sense the danger beforehand? what would’ve happened if he wasn’t there?

it’s still a learning process for him to realize that things happen, and he inevitably couldn’t be there to save you from everything. he needs time to understand and adjust. you’re willing to wait, patiently helping him through it. why? because love is worth it. 

god im sorry this ended up kinda sad whoops

diluc 

i swear everytime i say i’m a childe simp diluc kinda wrecks me

ahem anyways onto the hc!

he’s kinda never around but similar to xiao he will overwork himself to clear out an hour or two just to watch your concerts 

he’ll always stand off to the side too so if you tilt your head while you’re singing you can spy his red hair 

you always flash him the sweetest smile and this man blushes like CRAZY before quickly lifting his hand up to give you a thumbs up 

everyone watching the both of you like 😍😦

people think it’s the cutest thing i swear like c’mon the elusive “bachelor of mondstadt” being seen in public supporting you??? wow pls can we share him

he walks with you back to the winery, the entire time linking his hands with yours while gushing about your performance 

1939248/10 it’s literally the sweetest thing 

the next day however, adelinde brings you a pink letter addressed to you 

he doesn’t pry because it’s addressed to you and it’s your business but as the letters start coming by everyday, he starts to grow curious 

one day he straight up just asks you about it

“hey, you know those pink letters you keep getting? who are they from?”

you laugh slightly at his bashfulness and respond with a “just some overexcited fan” and he smiles before kissing your forehead 

he loves that people are noticing your talent 

loves it! until you get stalked by the same person who wrote you those letters while you were shopping!

diluc knows something’s wrong when you rush into angel’s share panicked after not returning his usual smile. 

“darling? are you ok?” he asks worriedly before quickly setting down the glass he was cleaning to move towards you. 

the widening of your eyes as you looked behind you at the sounds of someone else entering was all he needed to swiftly step in front of you, blocking their gaze of your face. 

the slightly panicked look in your eyes before you hurriedly whispered, “they’re following me” made diluc glance at them subtly out of the corner of his eye. he watched as they walked over to find a seat next to the bar, seemingly ready to order a drink. he quietly asked if you would like to sit in the room reserved for the employees, away from their prying eyes. your hasty nod was all the confirmation he needed for him to let you access the door behind him. 

the night went by fairly smoothly with kaeya’s usual teasing and venti’s usual begging for alcohol. diluc’s eyes narrowed however, when the person seemed to ask him questions regarding you. things like, “i heard you’re dating y/n... they’re amazing, how long have you been together?” and “do they live with you at dawn winery?” diluc answered these questions as short as he could, trying to convey with his body language that he truly did not want to talk to them. 

everything was going well until he made the mistake of leaving the bar unattended. he had briefly forgotten about your residence in the room behind him as his mind immediately gravitated to breaking up a brawl. when he returned, the half drunk glass of liquor combined with the person’s absence from their seat, caused sparks of worry to light up inside his chest. 

turning to the door, he knocked once. 

“is everything alright in there love?”

the sounds of things rustling about and the occasional muffled voice had him opening the door quickly. he saw you with your arm being held tightly in their grasp, your mouth muffled with their hand, while you strained against them by pulling at your arm. 

diluc immediately made his way over to you, quickly pulling your arm away before letting you enter into his embrace. 

“get out.” the venomous words clawed their way out of his throat as he looked at them with eyes that screamed hatred. his blood was boiling as his mind replayed the scene; your scared expression and their greedy eyes. 

diluc didn’t need to repeat himself twice as they ran out, trying not to trip over crates of wine. he made a mental note to find out who they were in order to make sure they never came near you ever again. 

he quickly looked down at your form, relaxing slightly at the sight of your tentative smile. “my knight in shining armor” you joked before softly nuzzling your head into his shoulder. the anger had yet to dissipate from his veins, and although he knew you were still shaken up, he was sure you would be fine. 

a pink letter placed on the table next to you caught his eye, and he made sure to quickly pocket it as he led you out, gently jesting with you about the “unnecessary amount of wine barrels in here, diluc this is a safety hazard!” 

he would deal with this person later. 

childe

ayo AYO ITS THE TOY SALESMAN

ok tbh he’s very rarely around so he unfortunately cannot make it to all of your shows 

dw tho, he will try his hardest to be there for the ones he’s in town for bc what is he if not your number one hype king??? 

ok kinda creepy! alert 

he’s tasked two of his subordinates to keep watch over you whenever he’s out of the harbor

it’s not anything creepy,,, he just gets extremely worried abt you and wants to make sure you’re safe 

sO when he gets a ransom note??? he’s understandably confused but also very much freaked out 

bc did they not know who he was??? the fact that they thought they could get away with holding you captive was quite honestly kind of funny to him 

very stressed and angry tho - hides it behind a facade of smiles but he’s raging 

takes him only a few hours to track you down bc he had everyone and i mean EVERYONE looking for you 

the note crunched in his hand as the harbinger made his way towards windrise. his pace was erratic, long legs rushing towards the small cave his agents had found. they were bordering the perimeter of the enclosure, careful to not alert you or your captor of their presence. childe’s subordinate head had calmly stated that childe need not come out to rescue you, the situation was under control and they could do it for him. however, childe’s sharp gaze along with his sickly sweet words of “thanks but no. i’m coming out to see this sorry asshole for myself” had the agent backing away apologizing. he wanted to see the look on this person’s face before he shoved their sorry ass into the abyss himself. 

as he reached the opening of the cave, he glanced over his shoulder at his head agent; a silent warning to keep the area sealed. his blue eyes glinted with a thirst for blood before making his way into the cave, sealing off the exit with his body. 

“well well, playing games with the love of my life are we?” 

his teasing words reached your ears as your eyes immediately found the face of your boyfriend. you weren’t horribly scared, just a little shaken up and sore from the bindings on your wrists. relief coursed through your body at the sight of him. you needn’t put in your plan of getting out of these bindings to fight your captor yourself anymore. 

childe’s eyes quickly scanned over your frame, making sure you weren’t hurt. at the state of you completely unharmed, the harbinger let his heart calm down slightly. you were completely ok. 

“wait a little longer, love? i promise this will be over soon”

the wink he sent you had you lightly rolling your eyes at his antics before he directed his attention back to your kidnapper. if your captor wasn’t scared before, they were certainly shaking in their boots now at the sight of childe’s twin hydro blades rotating playfully in his hands. 

“listen, all i want is the money-”

“and all i want is your head” 

your boyfriend smiled after cutting them off. the severity of the situation truly seemed to sink in at that moment before pleas of mercy fell from your captor’s lips, desperate to escape the bloodthirsty gaze of the harbinger. childe’s eyes flickered over to yours where you sat there, with your head ferociously shaking. a silent “no.” he sighed before swiftly bringing his arm up to hit your captor on the head, effectively knocking them out cold. 

his hands worked at the ropes holding you and he gingerly rubbed at your bruised wrists. you silently thanked the archons he could never say no to you. archons forbid what would've happened if you hadn’t said anything. while you were explaining what happened, the young man quickly scooped you up in his arms before walking out of the cave. 

you playfully hit his shoulder while muttering “drama queen” but you stopped when you saw his face morph into an expression of seriousness. you had informed him on the situation about your captor revealing themselves to be a recent stalker of yours, completely oblivious to the look of frustration on his face as he freed you from your bondages. 

“i was scared you know.” he quietly divulged. “i knew that it wasn’t anything extremely serious but i... i was still scared”

you swore as you looked at him in that moment, he had turned ten again. the youth of his face betraying his vulnerability. 

you quietly hummed before tangling your fingers in his hair. “i hope you know it wasn’t your fault. it wasn’t anyone’s fault. not even the two fatui agents who you sent to stalk me while you were away.”

he quietly laughed at that before mentally filing away a reminder for a lecture to those two agents in the near future. 

“i’m just glad you’re safe. i know you can save yourself but i’ll always be here. i still wish you would let me take care of your asshole kidnapper myself though.” he pouted jokingly. 

“i’m sure the millelith will lock them up for a long time.” you laughed sweetly. 

his usual smile reappeared at your antics. maybe he didn’t get to beat your captor up and do...much worse. however at the end of the day, your smile was still intact regardless of what happened. that’s all he wanted. 

[jikookpancakes]

JIKOOK FIC RECS that no one asked for (2021)

but im giving anyway because THE TALENT IN THIS FANDOM IS INSANE

long post incoming!! this is probably just part 1 because i wont stop reading anytime soon so i’m inserting that link just in case i do make another one in the future

What’s a Soul Really Worth, Anyway? by thisneedsmorefilth - 130k words, fantasy, demon!jm, witch!jk, listen, this and the next one are my top 2 jikook fics of all time, so well-written, plot so exciting legit reads like a book, better than a lot of books tbh, the world-building is INSANE, jungkook and the gang accidentally summon demon!jimin and chaos ensue, especially for jungkook...and you know why!!!, so funny, angsty, cried so much, happy ending but listen to me: you gotta read the sequel too, YOU GOTTA.

Militat Omnis Amans: The Beginnings by edaen - 92k words, fantasy, werewolf!jk, vampire!jm, forbidden love, super slow burn but super worth it, JIKOOK IN THIS IS MY FAVORITE JIKOOK IN ANY FIC EVER EVER EVER, this is the ultimate all or nothing will freeze hell over for the other kind of love, and the way this is written is just so... how do i describe it. like you can just tell the author wanted to be very realistic with their feelings. you’ve seen the word count, this is SLOW burn. like you will legit feel their struggle to just be able to love each other and while it hurts, it’s also SO GLORIOUS. i love this one so much and if you like reading angst with happy ending but like cranked up to 200% then read this. bonus feels if you read the whole series

Until Dawn (series) by edaen - this is the long series where the previous one above is part of. highly rec if you love fantasy and you wanna read about bts being a rag tag group of supernatural beings fighting evil yay. also it makes the above fic more satisfying because you see more of jikook just being tgt and in love (with bonus angst because of course)

7 Signs by NamHyora - 27k words, secret spies au, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm who is always used as a raven in their operations aka they use jimin and his attractive self to attract people and gather information or acquire targets and all that spy stuff, and his bestie alpha jk is not too happy about it hehe, friends to lovers, iove this one so much i wish it was longer but i think the author is planning to write a sequel!

Drop Like Confetti by annie_vi - 110k words, ceo!jk, age difference, age swap, ahhh i love this fic so much cause jimin smart and mature and has this no bs attitude, and he can keep up with jk despite the age gap and the difference in status/experiences, jk sexy dilf in this one eheh, i love it cause the drama/angst tackles a very real concern for such couples, like there’s no angst just for the sake of having angst, it really makes sense where they’re both coming from, they’re so whipped for eo too so love that for me

Fold it Up Like Origami by annie_vi - 99k words, gamer!jk, model!jm, same author as above and jk is so boyfriend goals in this one and in all this author’s fics in general like wow my standards are so high now i will legit be single forever just reading jikook fics (with no regrets), secret relationship due to their celeb status, well-written as usual, dialogues/banter in this author’s fics are just YES

The Tournament by kinkmins - 34k words, prince!jm, bodyguard!jk, abo, i’ll paste part of the summary here “Prince Jimin gets ready to hold a tournament where 50 alphas compete for a chance to court him, his father the king hires a new bodyguard who is a little too blunt and a little too talkative.“, i really love this oneeeee

Screwed Up and Brilliant by annie_vi - 113k words, escort!jk, jimin needed a date for a work event and in comes jungkook, escort extraordinaire with a no sex rule and jimin is just dasdkjfhasl, a lot of that “is this real or is he just acting” kinda angst, fluff smut angst

Like Everything Glows by annie_vi - 180k words, merman!jm, aquatic vet!jk, ok this is like my 4th rec from this author just read all their fics you’re welcome, this is their first fantasy fic but soso good, i rec’d this to someone who doesn’t really read fics and she really loved it and said “their love is so pure hhh”, she’s right

Track one: I love you by honeydice - 30k words, they’re “just” best friends, lots of pining it hurts, there’s some yoonmin and mentioned past jinmin in this so just noting in case, angst, denial of feelings, siiiiigh

InYou by edaen - 4k words, pwp :), abo, the morning after jikook mating, more sexytimes ensue + fluff

Falling For You Again by Rose_gold715 - 30k words, amnesia au, jk forgets about jimin and idk just something about this hits right in the feels. btw i don’t support the jk hated jm before in real life agenda so i don’t like this fic for that reason but i like this fic because i love me some good painful angst with happy ending.

The President’s Son by AmeliaBedelia - 55k words, bodyguard!jk, president’s son!jm, jk is assigned to shadow jm bc his life is under threat, and things develop :), jm is jk’s gay awakening :) :)

A Touch of Sin by pettey - 102k words, fantasy au, police officer!jk, supernatural!jm, shamanism, LOOK AT THE RANGE OF JIKOOK WRITERS YALL, this is such an interesting concept, so different from every other fic i’ve read, really well-written, sometimes you come across fics and you cant help but go “someone out there rly blessing me with this art for free”

Tears to the Tide by haromame - 65k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, honestly there’s not a lot of abo elements it’s focused more on jungkook having ptsd as he just came from war, established relationship jikook, he comes back home to jimin and things have just... changed. except their love ok THEY LOVE EO SO MUCH this made me cry so f much ugh so good tho.

Zero Hour by edaen - 5k words, canon compliant, a little drabble based around rosebowl jikook, it’s part of a series/collection of canon compliant jikook so if you’re looking for more canon compliant here you go!!, also if you can’t tell already i tend to like several things from a single author, i haven’t read their other fics im legit saving for sad days but i am confident enough to say their other fics are also rec-worthy.

Wonder by wordcouture - 7k words, im sorry in advance, mcd :( pls take care of yourself, i don’t like sad endings ok i don’t, but this is so popular and i was like, ok let’s see what the hype is all about, i get it now, :((((((((((((((((((((, well-written tho, bc the author will manage to crush your heart in just 7k words ha ha

The Omega Revolution by PinkBTS  - 158k words, abo, alpha!jk omega!jm, dystopian au, the hunger games more specifically mockingjay vibes, angst with happy ending but there’s some...things... lost along the way and i think that’s realistic for a dystopian war au, well-written

Blind Switch - 226k words, jockey!jk, rich spoiled brat!jm, jm gets exiled to his grandparents ranch where he meets jk yeehaw, im sorry for the yeehaw, anyway fluff smut angst enemies friends to lovers hurt/comfort slow burn happy ending, all the good stuff, ugh jk so boyfriend goals, also the amount of fluff in the later chapters thank u writer

Finally by Rose_gold715 - 12k words, abo, alpha!jk, omega!jm, angst with happy ending, jikook mate out of convenience and jimin runs away from jk and his pack feeling unloved and outcasted, but jungkook goes after him :((

Park Jimin’s Guide to Good Housekeeping by Ashlyn17 - 235k words, fantasy au, when i say jikook has the best fic writers i mean jikook has the best fic writers because THE WORLD-BUILDING in this one?, THE PLOT TWIST?, yesyesyes, jungkook is a powerful fae and jimin is assigned to be his housekeeper hehe, listen my entire fic rec has several that could be great netflix shows and this is definitely one of them

A Spell That Reminds Me of Your Name by Chimneycricket - 42k words, wizards!au, enemies to friends to lovers and the development felt natural, well-written plus the author sometimes makes art of their fics and other jikook fics and posts on twitter, both their fics and art are so good, i’ve heard good stuff about their other fics too :)

that’s it for now!

just a quick one about my preferences: idc about tops/bottoms, i read just about anything but i prefer fantasy and multi-chaptered fics, i love established relationship jikook so hmu with recs anytime, i don’t like reading anything with cheating and mcd, i love fics where jk and jm are just so friggin in love they are just IT for eo, and at the end of the day even if there are elements to the fics i wouldn’t normally read, as long as they’re well-written then i’m all for it

[starrybouquet]

Ma'am pls I need to know about that sg1/pjo thing you so casually mentioned.. like you cant just drop that on us with no explanation >:/

thank you @spacey-iris for waiting so long for this answer!!! And, here we go...

OMG OKAY HEAR ME OUT BECAUSE THIS IS MY FAVORITE FANDOM IDEA I HAVEN'T SPEWED ON THIS BLOG YET

Full disclosure: in middle school I was Percy Jackson OBSESSED. Writing this post is bringing back memories...ahhh, the good old days before Blood of Olympus came out and I swore off HOO forever...

Going through it carefully, I seriously wonder if Rick Riordan was watching Stargate when he started creating this world. It's no wonder I love Stargate now.

Jack O'Neill = Percy Jackson

I mean, c'mon! It couldn't be more perfect! Both of them are smartasses, have decided it's their life work to act dumb even though they're actually smart as hell. Both of them have ADHD and are VERY fidgety. Jack's a lot more tragic than Percy, because he's fifty instead of sixteen. But they act exactly the same, are loyal to a fault, and wayyyyy too humble. Not to mention they both fall in love with blonde geniuses who laugh at their stupid jokes and are driven NUTS by their dumb acts! Totally the same person.

Sam Carter = Annabeth Chase

I mentioned this already a little. But again, could they be more similar?! Both geniuses who are unafraid to show their smarts. Badass in a fight, and ALSO the person who will draw up a plan to save the world. Both have slightly inept fathers and absent mothers. Both are a little confused when it comes to love, and both of them are tomboys. Plus, they look similar? Like, Annabeth could literally be a teenage Sam Carter? Okay. I'm done.

Daniel + Teal'c = Grover + Tyson

This part isn't quite as perfect, but the combination of Daniel and Teal'c still manages to give off the exact same effect as Grover and Tyson? Daniel's got Grover's clumsiness, Grover's penchant for trouble, but Tyson's innocence. Teal'c has Grover's wisdom and the whole "outsider" perspective Grover and/or Tyson often bring, but he also has Tyson's giant-strongman thing going for him. They both love food in the same way Grover and Tyson love food (okay, now I want a fic where Teal'c tries to eat Louis XVI furniture).

Janet = Thalia

You KNOW I'm right. Same no-nonsense attitude, same attitude towards Jack/Percy. Annabeth and Thalia are besties, Janet and Sam are besties. Okay, Thalia is taller. But with her ability to command the infirmary, Ms. Napoleonic Power Monger could totally pass for a child of Zeus, right?

Hammond = Chiron

I think this one is obvious? Very tired mentors/grandpas who never, never get any time off and have to deal with the fallout of ALL the shenanigans. At least Hammond isn't stuck in a wheelchair outside of the SGC.

Miscellaneous thoughts

does that make...Frank Cromwell...Luke Castellan??

I NOW WANT TO MEET JACK'S MOM MORE THAN EVER IT IS A CRIME WE NEVER GOT TO MEET HIS FAMILY

OH MY GOD IS JUNIPER SHA'RE THAT IS HEARTBREAKING

clarisse is totally maybourne

oh my god walter and siler are connor and travis stoll

Chain Reaction = that early part of Sea of Monsters where Chiron is gone and the camp is just NUTS

who from SG-1 is Zoe Nightshade? idk

Percy is about the right age to be Jack's kid. Oh my god Percy could be Charlie.

Does that make Sara equivalent to Rachel?!

Pete just doesn't exist. Because I don't think Annabeth ever dates anyone else? I like this reality

FUCK SILENA IS MAKEPEACE

Bekendorf (i know i am spelling his name incorrectly, i have not cracked the spines on these books for at least five years, cut me some slack) but anyway he could be...someone who dies...hmm...oh i know! kawalsky!

And - quite obviously - there's a lot of personal parallels for me here too. I absolutely HATED how HOO took advantage of the original characters, and then made fun of them/destroyed their characterization (ahem, ANNABETH). I know lots of people loved HOO more, but for me the last two books especially ruined the characters. Not to mention they kept dangling Percy and Annabeth in front of our noses and then made us read about people who were not them. Funnily enough, 5 PJO books + 5 HOO books = 10 books total! Guess what has 10 seasons? That's right, SG-1! And guess what I refuse to acknowledge the last two seasons of, because said seasons destroyed characterization? Oh look, it's Stargate SG-1!

Speaking of that - if I'm running with the parallel then Landry could be Coach Hedge. And Mitchell can be Fucking Jason Grace--huh, that works well. And I think Vala can be Leo - aka the only one I liked of the new characters! :D

GUYS I NEED TO REREAD THIS NOW

I NEED TO WRITE SAM AND JACK'S KID READING PERCY JACKSON

SELF-INDULGENT PERCY JACKSON AU TIME

[zhuhongs]

Upon rereading tgcf, one of the biggest complaints I have is how lackluster all the extra chapters were. literally none of them were good and all contained rlly gross and harmful sentiments (like the amnesia one which.. yea.. or all the things implying xl should get pregnant for hc thus equating gay relationships with hetero ones and playing into the wife thing and just GOD I HATE MXTX) 

There were a lot of little plot points i wish that had been further elaborated on more in the extras as opposed to hualian being ... like that. I had enough. Like mdzs had actaully good extras (minus the incense burners) that were nice side stories that elaborated more on the characters. Like the hook one with the juniors was so cute and i loved seeing them grow more. Or the lotus pod extras omg.. im such a lotus pod extra stan. those were so cute and gave us a lot of good insight into just how lovestruck lwj was during the times when he didn’t see wwx. mxtx should've stuck to those sorta extras in tgcf but NOOO. SO I have a list of so many other more interesting things those chapters couldve been spent on like:

A resolution on He Xuan’s revenge and his character arc. Bc its implied He Xuan is still hanging out and watching over sqx and that taking revenge didn’t fully satisfy him bc ok.. yea shi wudu is dead but he xuans family will never come back. Now what does he have to live for?? i wish we couldve seen a look into his life during the entire ordeal. like a chapter from his perspective while he was posing as Ming Yi  and maybe a look at a conversation btw he xuan and the real ming yi or a chapter after SQX was banished to see what he’s doing now. Also what did he xuan owe hua cheng money for anyways?? Like ik not every little thing has to be explained but I Want to Know. PLEASE more goth boyfriend content now I just wanna see him :,((

a better resolution of yin yu and quan yizhens storyline. im still mad abt how that plot point was split btw books 3 and 5  when it was rlly out of place and  there were other more pressing plot matters and it just rlly deserved more time. Also i thought yin yu died!?!?!? but apparently one of the extras says he’s alive and man... i;m not reading any more of the extras to see that, give me a full yin yu and quan yizhen chapter.. fuck.

a day in the life of the guoshi fangxin or general hua PLEASE especially like one where hua cheng was SO CLOSE to meeting xie lian but had no clue that xie lian was there at the time but the two did smth that inadvertantly helped the other and they still were connected even though they hadnt met omg pls that’d be so nice. like imagine Hua cheng catching a glimpse of the guoshi in public in yong’an while he’s trying to follow some lead that points to xie lian or maybe following a lead to capture qi rong bc he said he knew qi rong was a part of the yong’an stuff and originally thought the guoshi was one of qi rongs pawns. like can you IMAGINE him getting so close. but at the last second he did smth small that impacted xie lian. like they bumped into eachother on the street or smth. god i’d go crazy

OR vice versa.. like a day in the life of the young ghost king hua cheng. Like again, one of my biggest issues was that hua cheng just knew everything and its never really explained how he got all of that info. like yes he’s been alive very long and has eyes and ppl working for him everywhere but like... how did he build that network?? I’d love to see a chapter of young ghost king hua cheng travelling around trying to learn as much as he can abt the world and how it can help bring him to xie lian. and the two maybe are in the same kingdom for a bit and they don’t meet exactly but hua cheng stops some fight or something and helps xie lian indirectly or maybe xie lian is performing on the street in some costume and hua cheng doesn’t recognize him and smiles and gives him a coin or smth. idk i’m just dying for any sorta extra chapter or fic like that. i’m honestly so tempted to write my own but i cant write

also!! we’ve seen how xie lian picks up people down on their luck near him and show them kindness (like banyue, lang ying, xiao ying, he tried to with san lang but we know how that ended lmao) so i’d love to see another little vignette of him doing that on his travels and how every person he meets teaches him smth about life and being a good person and idk, i just think it’d be rlly sweet. i love this facet of his character and feel like we didn’t see enough of it towards the end.

ALSO hua cheng only seems to respect one heavenly official besides xie lian and thats yushi huang.. i assume thats mostly bc she was the only one to help xie lian and let him use the rain master hat to bring water to yong’an. I was thinking maybe when he was a new supreme he had run into trouble and maybe was picked up by the rain master and helped him heal and in return he promised to help protect her village from harm in the future. Like i know a heavenly official wouldn’t cooperate with a ghost like that but yushi huang is different and doesn’t really care about the heavens so i think she would protect him if he could do something to benefit her village. ik this is kinda far fetched but when he first became a supreme I’m sure a bunch of ppl probably tried to mess with him and didn’t rlly believe him to be undefeatable bc he hadn’t proved himself yet also i doubt all his power came overnight. he had to learn how to use it once he escaped the kiln. and some group probably thought they could weaken him somehow. I’m thinking maybe a rlly well formed group of ghosts actually caught him off guard once and he had to retreat and was picked up by the rain master and stayed with her and learned from her a bit. i think it’d be a cool concept also i just rlly want more yushi huang content and i’m on their friendship agenda bc he rlly did seem to actually respect her when she first appeared and i think it’d be cool if the two had some history together.

Also idrc if this was addressed I couldve missed it But!! Did xie lian ever tell Hua cheng that the reason he got the curse shackles and was banished again in the first place wasnt bc jun wu wanted to punish him, but because he requested it. And specifically requested it bc he felt guilty abt letting wu ming take the human face disease and disperse for his sake. So he took the shackles and descended to atone for that?? Bc I dont recall hua cheng learning that bc his soul was already dispersed at that point so it didnt follow him and xie lian didnt say anything so uhhh... someone should tell hua cheng that. Like I dont think xie lian rlly said how much hua cheng meant to him and didnt show him he was loved in grand ways. Like xie lian did always care for bc in other ways but I think if hua cheng learned abt this on screen it wouldve been such a great moment and I'm rlly surprised mxtx didnt address this iirc!?!? Like imagine jun wu telling Hua cheng this in the kiln bc xie lian wouldnt say it himself. Imagine how cool that would be.

Also a small thing adding into the whole young ghost king Hua cheng stuff. Its implied and p much stated that hua cheng isnt his real name. That he likely doesnt have a real name bc his parents died? (It's not clear. I'm still mad at mxtx for not making his childhood clearer). So I'd like to see when and why hua cheng chose that name for himself. The new tgcf ending song kinda hints at its meaning with the lyrics "for you I'd fill a city of flowers" as xie lian is the flower wielding martial god so it's probably inspired by that. Also xie lian saved hua cheng from leaping off the city walls but I'd love to hear him say it bc the implication of his name didnt dawn on me for quite a bit and I dont know if everyone made the connection. Again I sure as hell didnt. So itd be cool to see a chapter that takes place in his past after just ascending as a supreme

Overall I rlly think tgcf had a lot more potential to be even better and a lot of that comes down to fleshing out the side characters and letting hualian have more of a storyline independent of one another. like i know the appeal and message of tgcf is that through love, people can overcome anything, but fuck man. i just wanna see what these two (mostly hua cheng) where like in the absence of each others presence. Part of what I really liked abt mdzs is that we got to see that longing develop btw wangxian when the two weren’t together and how they thought about each other and did things in thei others spirit bc they knew the other wouldve done the same thing. but whatever, mxtx was too consumed by her own unhealthy idea of what devotion and true love looks like but still. i rlly think the extras couldve helped the story be better rather than be fujoshi fuel that i try to bleach from my mind -_-

[amjustagirl]

hi nikki jie i finally finished rereading dream catcher and omg askdkskjdjsa iM -

wOW it was absolutely incrediblee im so full of emotions rn asfjsk i read ch 5 & 6 just now when i was otw to sch to study before cca (pls omg my heart was in shambles i had to take a few min to compose myself aft i reached the library 😭) then i just read the last chapter otw home and im so !!!!! i think ch 6 would be my absolute fave, maybe cuz that was like the climax of the whole story haha, but like it was such a roller coaster like omg all the intensity of keiji trying to save her, and then my soul was healed when they were talking in that dreamscape and him finALLY realizing he was in love with her, and then you stabbed me through the heart when his memories started slipping away 😭 and like this trope of a character giving up their memories of their beloved just to save them has soo much angst potential but is too underrated and you used it so beautifully here and my heart was physically aching while i was waiting for my bus T^T aND ch 7 when akaashi was so upset he still couldnt remember her name, and when he finally heard toya-chan at the florist askdjsj omg my heart!! 🥺❤️ i love all the flower languages and all the sky and celestial imageries that you used here and it was really soo beautiful when akaashi was realizing he was in love with her,, and i also loved how you described all the surroundings (i felt his nostalgia when he visited her village, the shrine dreamscape, the forest shrine) in ch5 especially like it felt sO REAL and there was such a clear image in my head it was amazing,, i think the reveal of her being the florist didnt hit me as hard this time cuz i reread it already knowing it was her, but i remember being so shookt the first time i read it and being so impressed that everything was soo well thought out,, i absolutely loved it and im really glad i reread it heh

oh and omg i almost forgot to mention but if it wasnt obvious i absolutely adore moriko??? i really love how she views the world, how she makes everything so simple; time should be spent with the people you love, and you should do things that make you happy, her deciding to become a florist simply because she loved the look on people's faces when they bought flowers 🥺 she's so reckless and brave and sweet and she's just absolutely perfect 😭

AND you must be annoyed cuz this is like the 192388th time im saying this but 'when the sun loves the moon'??? IM RLY SO EXCITED OMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA askdksjsj ill be looking forward to it!!!! i cant wait to see the outtakes too 😆

and aaa i saw you've been feeling lonely while your husband is back at ns why must sg do this 😭 is he gonna be back soon ? either ways, i hope you feel better soon!! have a good weekend nikki jie!! ❤️ ~ ann :>

i'm just...speechless that you'd even take the time to re-read dream catcher. i think it's one of the pieces that i still can't believe i was capable of writing, especially chapters 6 and 7 - the dreamscape and akaashi's memories returning back to him is prob the best writing i've ever produced LOL (is it shameless of me to say that?)

but yeah i think bcos the fic is set up like a romance-mystery, bcos it has a non-linear timeline, i really had to plot the whole thing out, leave little clues here and there, rely very heavily on the imagery like flowers and sky and stars and fire to really carry the story. it's definitely another instance of me torturing akaashi, but i think his character lends itself very well to a fic like this. i love love the trope of losing your memories to save someone - i think i grew up watching a lot of hk dramas and i can't pinpoint which it happened in, but this trope really stuck HAHA. and yeah there's so much angst, delicious angst there isn't it!

and omg moriko moriko, that reckless, wise, sweet forest nymph. she's...definitely has the sunniness (like bokuto) and i think that initially draws akaashi in, but she has q a lot of layers bcos she's brave and strong yet doesn't even think anything abt her strength, and that's what i think is amazing abt her. she's someone who marches to the beat of her own drum, she doesn't give a flying fuck about the world thinks. she's just unabashedly herself. that's what akaashi ends up falling head over heels for.

HAHA when the sun loves the moon is gonna be a fun ride methinks? it was such a blast to write bokuto's character, and i loved the whole process of coming up w a reader-chan that fits him, that fits his larger than life, bombastic personality. i've definitely poured a bit of my soul into her (like i do with all my readers / mcs) and i hope you'll like her too :)

mr nikki is back! but he's been away playing in some competition so....home alone i guess? haha.

[ofmermaidstories]

Hello!!!

Ahhhh okay so I spent like all of yesterday reading !! AND OH MY GOD IM LOSING MY MIND OVER HOW GOOD IT IS!!! YOU'RE SUCH A TALENTED WRITER!! IM IN LOVE 🥺💖

Just okay first of all write your setting!??! The works building is sooooo beautiful!!! I'm obsessed with the reader's flower shop, the apartment, the city, the park scenes were sooooo pretty!! Agsiwooqlq and the way you wrote the readers and Bakugou's relationship was just SO WOWKSOKAOQ AMAZING AND REAL AND HEARTFELT, IM CRYING And!!! Omfg the scene with Ochako! The gravitational pull!!! The inevitable pull of yourself and the people around you, the bravery in letting yourself be pulled and letting yourself fall into another person's pull!Ahh pls I'm sobbing at the whole convo And the whole "you're okay" and "we're okay"!?!?!? 🥺🥺😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕💕

And!! Omg that whole thing with the reader wearing wings!!! And how after everything happened, it was like their wings had been clipped and that was so tragic but still beautiful???! And also! The way you wrote the relationships of all the UA kids! Like omgg it was so perfect, I could feel the trust, the companionship, the understanding between all of them!! Tjeoewmwow and when Kaminari saw how scared Bakugou was of losing reader, and just how he acted and was there for Bakugou!!! I'm sobbing all over again!! And my boi!! Kirishima!!! The absolute sunshine of my life!! Pls he was just so lovable and cute in this fic!! His chaperon of readers and Bakugou r/s was sooo sweet and funny!! Pls I'm in love!! Ainaakaoq and lmfao I was dying at the whole the aunties on the street love him!! That's so accurate honestly 😂🥺💕 and I cant forget Deku!!!! The whole meeting between and him and reader and Bakugou was just soooo soooo nice! And sweet! And the way you describe him as the symbol of peace!! I would trust Deku with my whole life 😫😭💖

AND MY BOY HARU!!! HE HAS MY WHOLE HEART!!!!! He was sooo sweet, so fun and mischievous and cute!! And ughhh my heart broke for him with all that happened to him!! But i loved the ending you gave him!!! And his promises with reader and Bakugou were so endearing and I just- 🥺😭💖

But yeah! Sorry this ask is so long! But I needed to scream about just how good this fic is!!! ITS MY FAV!! IAKAKWSOSKSOS THANK YOU FOR GRACING ME WITH SUCH AN AMAZING PIECE OF ART 💖💖💖💖💖

djsfldsjflkdjfkdfjk HI ANIMA. 🥺💖🌷💖 Hi. HI. i’m excited that you came back!!!!!!!! and i’m really excited you read surrender. 🥺 it is……… the loml LOL.

Uraraka was always going to be the perfect encourager, for Bakugou, because she is so intimately familiar with the concept of gravity — and what it means to be pulled into circling someone (*cough*, Deku). Especially in canon where we see her wanting to bring everyone together. And I think, in a romance AU, someone like Bakugou would need to hear that — even if he’s going to scoff at it, LOL. Because he’s going to fight that connection, that intimacy, every step of the way (until he can’t).

Idk… there’s something so magical about connecting with someone unexpected — falling into it. You basically invent your own language with them (“we’re okay”) — your own eco-system. and i wanted to write about that LOL. i wanted that for Bakugou, and i wanted that for a Reader-insert who he might’ve never have crossed paths with, otherwise (being quirkless and a florist) if he wasn’t literally thrown into it. and i wanted his classmates to be there!! their friendships are literally being forged in blood and sweat in canon right now, LOL… they’re going to be in each other’s lives forever, and it’s fun to see that in fics! (I love the idea of Kiri being Bakugou’s bestie — Deku is so central, to who Bakugou is as a person, that he was always going to be apart of this but i think there’s something special about Bakugou and Kiri’s friendship because Kiri was the first person Bakugou saw as “equal” to him. And he’s so sweet…. and in a fic, a good contrast to Mr. Tsundere. He and Kaminari both! Kaminari isn’t as dumb as i think fandom makes him out to be, sometimes. And he’s a pro-hero in his own right — so he always would’ve tried to save Reader, no matter what, but he would’ve never been able to tolerate watching Bakugou, his friend, break his heart over this).

I like to think that Haru, in the wake of his trauma getting a way to live his dream, rises to that challenage magnificently — and causes nothing but havoc for an older and more fed up Bakugou LMAO lkdsjfsklsdjfklsdjfldsjf

please don’t apologise for the length dslkfjsdlkfjdslkfjskldfjkldsfjl it made my DAY. thank-you for saying hello — thank-you for being here. 🥺💖🌷🍊🌿

[makiema]

so i had quite a few tag games pending and finally found the time to do them thank you sm for tagging me guys ily <3 <3

tagged by clio @dazais-osamu 🌸

1st tag game—

Do you like answering tags? yes! im a bit behind sometimes bc life sigh but is so nice to realise someone thought of u 🥺

Do you prefer to read fanfiction, write fanfiction, create fanart, make video edits or none of the above? reading fanfiction! also conjuring up silly lil fics in my head 24/7 but never getting round to acc writing them bc im lazy <3

Nails painted (include what color) or not? painted! mostly lavender/lilac/pale blue, sometimes black 

Would you prefer to live in an extremely hot or cold climate? well i alr live in extremely hot climate so i prefer the cold. cold climate is so nice & comforting 🥺 i miss mountain vacations :( 

Favorite flavor of chapstick or do you not wear any? vanilla/strawberry

Enemies to lovers or friends to lovers? enemies to friends to lovers

Favorite crack ship? dont rly have one

Favorite type of weather? CHILLY!!!! thunderstorms are a fave too when it's all cool & windy <3

Do you use :), :], or :D? generally :D & sarcastically :) lol

2nd tag game—

Three ships— rn its soukoku, akiangel, makiqua

Last song— alleyways by the neighborhood (their songs make up like 40% of my skk playlist lol)

Last movie— Luca!!!! pls watch its so cute + animation is gorg!!

Currently reading/watching— rewatching cowboy bebop!!!

Currently craving— a 12 hr sleep i have to get up early tmrw i hate it >.<

3rd tag game—

picrew link!

this was such a cute picrew uwu

4th tag game—

link to game!

*gulps* maki is my whaAt 😳 YES ma'am i do the cooking i do the cleaning 🤲 oh she betrays me and becomes my enemy? that's bc she caught me slipping. it's on me. why tf is n*oya my bestie lol i cant stand dollar store kita ill just buddy up to him and then yk :) casually slip him some cyanide :) or me & maki could yeet him to the sun together :) aa choso saves me? he rly is the sweetest big bro 🥺 and oH WHO has a crush on me 😳 well that's flattering but maki's alr my gf so i don't need nothin else ����

tagged by @kakooshi 💖

10 fandoms, 10 female characters✨ —

chainsaw man— makima

evangelion— rei

avatar— katara

madoka magica— sayaka

fullmetal alchemist— riza

jujutsu kaisen— maki

wonder egg priority— rika

cowboy bebop— faye

fruits basket— tohru

bungou stray dogs— yosano

^ in that order

tagged by victoria @tatakaeeren 💚

dfjnsbvsghk i'd just be third wheeling 💀💀

tagging whoever hasn't done these alr <3 im sure everyone has bc im a million yrs late 🤡

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dearest, dont worry, ive been super busy with exams and auditions so i couldnt reply to this, super sorry ;n; but im here now so here we go!

mmm same, tasteful smut is preferable, tho rare. oh no! pls dont feel pressured to follow me on anything, i post very sporadically on that acc so you probably wont see much yet haha

hehe sometimes it just be like that. mmm real life isnt happy, so it makes sense that angst is more realistic, plus people are shitty /hj so its easier to have smth to base the characters and action off. but if angst is what you feel comfortable with, im glad you found it and you can write it so well!

yes i totally agree! they just suck you in, there is no escape. mmm indeed. i guess i just (and im sure you feel the same way) wish that they would be able to stick to what they are good at, and what they enjoy, rather than what will make them the most money and recognition

hehe i dont mind! im here if you wanna rant abt the amazingness that is he, i know the feeling of almost bursting from having to talk abt smth and not being able to :) yesss hes just so comfortable and familar even tho obviously we dont and can never truly know him. hes just like a good good friend. (albeit one whos abs we rave abt). :( ohh im sorry you were in a bad place, but its good that you were able to find something to help, im sure channie would be very happy to know he helped someone :) hehe i find myself listening for him in all their tracks, its a bit like felix in that its quite distinctive and very satisfying haha. YES seonghwa is just *wordless mouthing of amazement* mmm, its going to be super hard for them to top that, fever and drunk dazed were *chefs kiss* but hopefully theyll be better soon, ive been so worried abt all of them, with the whole covid thingo, especially nikki, hes only 15 and hes rlly sick away from his parents and his home :(( poor thing. man sunoo's immune system of absolute titanium, hopefully the rest of the boys are feeling better :(

yes i KNOW right. :((( huh i guess its strange cos i cant wait to get out of high school and ur wishing you could go back :') ahh that must be strange

oooh cool! ahuh yes, im sensing a type lol. ooh fellow jake, hyuka and lisa bias! for me, nikki and jennie are bias wreckers and im not super into txt but yES i agree, he always looks impeccable. i see what you mean with jake! hes got this kinda awkward charm from what little ive seen of him. mmm well... as a chan, seonghwa and namjoon bias, i can sympathise with having a definite postion type

no darling! they wouldnt be wasted at ALL. yes, you must tell me if you are ever going to leave here :((

but on brighter topics, i finished all my midterms and had my first therapy session this week so thats good! how are you feeling today? anything else you want to discuss? hope you're doing well :)

<3 w.a. 🐺

yoooo i was starting to worry about where you were but i remembered that you talked about exams. it's alright! take your time. also auditions o.O good luck with that!!

oh don't half joke people are shitty. they really are. funny how we talk about how we're talking about how angst is my element but i just finished writing a fluffy chan fic.

yeah :( i also hope that the money making thing wouldn't be their top priority but it's still a business industry so i get why the marketing is done that way.

i rambled to an irl about chan today so idt my head would explode from keeping chan chitchat in. chan is as safe space as an idol can get for me. i want to thank him for quite literally saving me in 2020 someday. it's the first thing i'll mention if i get to have a fancall with him.

i'm currently waiting for ateez comeback! i'm hoping deja vu won't disappoint bc the song isn't bad at all o.O it takes me back to my 2nd gen roots even. abt enhypen i heard 2 are back and posting? idt they got the worst of the symptoms + they're young and i'm sure their immune systems aren't too weak.

LMAO. it's because high school was a lot easier than uni so if i were to choose from the two evils, i'd choose the lesser one.

abt my biases? really? o.O bc i've always been told that i don't have a clear bias HAJHA. i'm glad we have a few similar biases <33 the definite position type HAJH you and my friends have the same thing going on. she's all for rappers tho.

i'll tell you if i ever choose to leave. i doubt it would be any time soon xd

congratulations on finishing all your midterms and i'm glad you got to go to your therapy session. how was it? i hope you're doing well. go and take care of yourself! reward yourself a little for finishing the exams :>

my feet and legs are sore as fuck. i've been dancing the whole day and i haven't been exercising a lot so a day full of just moving around kinda shocked me. i'll be sleeping in a few though so i hope i feel better in the morning.

[meshkol]

Twitter Threads (or That One Time Tony Dialled It Up to Eleven)

Summary: Social media is hard and full of trolls, and Tony has poor impulse control.

Notes: I hate this so much. Less cracky than I wanted it, because I suck at writing humour. Fill K-3 for the Tony Stark Bingo 2019: Gossip Press. Unbeta'd as per usual. Any relation to existing twitter handles is entirely coincidental.

Warnings: Social Media, Twitter, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Ableist Language, Internet, Trolls, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Goes On A Rampage

No one can say that Tony’s ever had good impulse control, especially about people he loves.

@1234ideclareathumbwar posted: I donno what it is about dr strange but he must suck dick like a pro if hes got iron man whipped god knows theres nothing attractive about him except those dick suckin lips #drstrange #ironman #wtfisstarkthinking

 @100percentDONE-xxx replied: yeah its not like he can give a decent handjob ffs must me the lips or maybe hes just tight every1 knows stark loves a tight whole hes prolly cheating neway poor cripple

 @itsawrapandimreadytoparty replied: Probably just lays there and thinks about the wizard gods just to get that $$$...I’d think of England even for a nymphomaniac drug-addicted sugar daddy too, tbh.

 @BlessYouThor-ness replied: still can’t believe he chose strange over THOR like everyone can see the chemistry between them and tony is such a bottom he’d take thor’s cock so well fuck yes

 @they-did-the-thing777 replied: is it just me or does strange look like an alien maybe there’s no magic at all just aliens and he’s got a tentacle dick and stark just wants to mark off another box on his worlds-biggest-slut checklist #tonystarkispathetic

 @snowflakes_makeme_lol replied: hes just fkn ugly i s2g stark id spread 4 but strange??? that bitch be ugly asf n not worth gettin my dk wet prolly get aids

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: You guys are the pinnacle of our evolution and I am in awe of your genuine kindness and polite generosity (and grammar). Wow, I can’t believe Stephen Strange saved all of your jerkass lives TWICE for this shit and you know what? Everyone knows I’M the cocksucker in this relationship, dumbfucks.

 @kiki_blow_this_popsicle_stand replied: HOLY SHIT LMAO

“What are you doing?”

He doesn’t bother looking up from his tablet, backing away from that thread because he has no interest in seeing the replies, and hunting for the next war he can wage. “Destressing,” he replies gleefully, clicking on a thread that mentions Pepper. He can feel Rhodey behind him – and, what’s more, he can feel the disapproval seeping out of his pores too now that he’s peeking over Tony’s shoulder – but he’s on a roll, and fuck impulse control when he can sass and bitch on twitter. Some people just need to be removed from the genetic pool of the human race and not be allowed to procreate, honestly.

Somewhere in bumbfuck-nowhere, Fury is having a coronary and Stephen is rolling his eyes so hard they’re permanently lodged in his cranium.

@rudethatyoureallamatwink posted: Does anyone else think that Pepper Potts only got the job at Stark because she’s got awesome legs and a great twat and Tony Stark wanted to stick his dick in? #idfuckher #pepperpotts #starkindustries #idfuckhimtootbh #tonystark

 @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself replied: lol ur gross shes like 35 or smth but wvr u want crusty ol lose pussy u do u bro #oldchickgross #getbotox

 @shredderinmymetal3-14 replied: @MyNameIsGoFuckYourself lmao wtf?? He started fucking her when she was like twenty or something so she was still nice and tight back then. I mean I’d still fuck her right now cause she’s one hot cougar and I bet she’s learned a thing or two from the Slut Extraordinaire. And anyway, how tf do you know what her cunt’s like?? The only hole you’ve fucked is your mom.

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: Wow, you guys are pigs. Pepper Potts is a strong, independent, beautiful woman who is worth a thousand of all you, and your mothers would be ashamed of you all.

 @gags_are_the_best_fight_me_bitch replied: @queeen-bee-says-hi hey look theres the feminazi if you want i can replace that stick up your pussy with my dick you know you need it ill fuck you real good show you what a real mans like

 @truthisanillusion replied: I’ll fuck @queeen-bee-says-hi AND @OfficialPotts_CEO at the same time fucking feminazi cunts, god knows you bitches would be grateful for my prick in your gaping lesbian pussies

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Wow. So. Uh.

1. That’s revolting and my AI just delivered the IPs of @gags_are_the_best_fight_me and @truthisanillusion to the authorities for premeditated violence, rape, and hate crimes. You’re welcome, and feel free to send a cash donation to the charity of your choice for my thoughtfulness. I’d recommend something for women’s or LGBTQ+ rights, and I’ll match it with a multiplier of 1000x.

2. @queeen-bee-says-hi, good for you, and I can see from your profile that you’re a student. Consider your crops watered and your schooling paid for, all the way to your twelfth PhD if you want it.

3. @OfficialPotts_CEO can and will murder you with her pinky nail. I’ve taken on Thanos and I’d rather go ten rounds with him than piss her off. THAT’S why she’s CEO, not because of her admittedly awesome legs.

4. I hate this hellsite. If I buy it, can I kill it?? Rhodey says “technically” so I’m gonna look into that now.

 @i_stan_one_legend_named_virginia_p_potts replied: IRON MANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! DEFEND THE QUEEN!!!!!!!!!!! #PEPPERPOTTS4PRESIDENT

 @iaminlovewithcapandimunashamed replied: lmfao incels be fkd when #ironman comes to town

 @truthisanillusion replied: Hey @YouKnowWhoIAm No one trusts you or likes you, you fake ass super “hero” taking it up the ass like a faggot stfu and die already, kthxbye

 @queeen-bee-says-hi replied: whAT OH MY GOD THAT IS NOT NECESSARY

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Tony, stop picking fights and threatening to buy twitter or I’ll ground you. And just accept the gift, @queeen-bee-says-hi - after all, he’s already done it.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Shut up Pepper, you aren’t the boss of me.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: And jokes on you @truthisanillusion because I’m already dead inside come at me bitch I’ll be the one in the multi-billion-dollar suit of armor surrounded by Avengers

 @OfficialPotts_CEO replied: Actually, I am. Don’t make me take away your toys. Or call @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel. He’s on speed-dial, sweetheart, and he likes me better than you.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: Rude.

 @Sorcerer_Surpreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: The last time you threatened someone, your house got blown up. Please refrain from egging on internet trolls or I’ll dump you for Rhodes for my own sanity.

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: ALSO RUDE.

“You know, I’m not even remotely bi-curious and I would totally tap that,” Rhodey says absently, though his lips are quirking into a smirk.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Hands off, you little shit, or I’ll tweet about that one time in MIT when you ate that—”

“Fuck you.”

“Been there, done that,” Tony quips cheerfully. “Not remotely bi-curious my ass—”

“You know what’s better than picking fights with twelve-year-olds on twitter? Kicking your ass right here. You come at me, Stank.”

Tony opens his mouth to reply but then gasps, already losing himself in another thread after sending a middle finger emoji into the last one.

@mwahahaha-666 posted: You guys can wax poetry about Tony Stark all you want, but screw that basic-ass rich boy - everyone knows Doctor Strange is the smokin’ hot one. #takemenow #mybodyisready #drstrange

 @ukulele_jedi_master replied: PREACH!!! stark may be loaded but stephen is the one that looks like a prada model giMME THAT MAGICAL DICK

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: Fuck both of you. I just wanna be a fly on the wall when they’re fucking each other...or better yet, DIRECT them on how to ruin each other #ironstrange #otp

 @highpercentageofuselessnessachieved replied: i wonder if he can clone himself like can u imagine?? being fucked from all ends by #drstrange cock?? what i wouldn’t give to be tony stark omfg i don’t even want the money just the hard dickin from that fine piece of ass

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: He’s got Iron Man wrapped around his little finger so he must have the biggest dick and the know-how to use it properly. Yes pls and thank you very much, I’ll take that monster dick pronto.

 @TGBYHN_4_LYFE replied: dude i tell u what i would do what @xxx-foreverfit-xxx said: sit in the corner w a ridign crop in 9’’ stilettos rubbin myself while directing them 2 do what i want...make em touch n stroke n suck n bite n fuck each other til they cant walk anymore n then cuddle w them n stroke their hair

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: I would give my college education, my life, my cow, and my internet access away for the rest of my life for a sex tape

 @xxx-foreverfit-xxx replied: @TGBYHN_4_LYFE omfg fuCK YES CAN YOU IMAGINE listening to them moan as they lost themselves in each oter, so fucking desperate to get off that they’re begging you to let them cum even as they try their hardest to obey, covered in precum and sweat and hot as fuck

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: I s2g the amount of fanfiction I write about those two alone should have me committed but I literally can’t stop the two of them are so fucking hot together that it should be illegal god bless Iron Man and Dr Strange and their sexy, sexy chemistry and sexy, sexy bodies #killme

 @one-upon-a-time-in-asgard2 replied: They are the hottest couple in the history of the universe and so fucking pure I love them both so much also @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 I demand a link to your fics cuz I’m always looking for more ironstrange porn #otp #ironstrange

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel Hey, they think you have a big dick. Little do they know that they’re totally right and that you also have the added bonus of actually BEING a big dick too! #dontthreatentoleavemeforplatypus #orilltagyouinthirstposts #awesomethirstposts #stephenhasabigdick #andiloveit #goodshit

 @mwahahaha-666 replied: OH MY DUCKING GOD

 @its_a_fact_that_captain_america_has_a_big_dick replied: Well, I’d be mortified that Tony Stark is replying to this except Tony Stark is acTUALLY REPLYING TO THIS BLESS YOU IRON MAN

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: One of these days I’m going to murder you with your own bravado and not lose a night’s sleep over it. And fine, I won’t touch Rhodes...I’m sure Rogers is free anyway, and he’s always so polite when I visit.

 @bigfoot_is_nessie1987 replied: Please don’t read my fanfiction I will literally combust in embarrassment also I am dying over here in Copenhagen omfg

 @YouKnowWhoIAm replied: BRO CODE, DUDE. YOU’RE VIOLATING THE BRO CODE. I HATE YOU SO MUCH AND I WANT A DIVORCE.

 @catcatcatcat-cat replied: ...oh my god what does that mean you guys are MARRIED??!?! BLESS THE WIZARD GODS!!!!

 @Sorcerer_Supreme_With_A_Scalpel replied: Rhodes, I know you’re reading over his shoulder, so if you could please take away his phone now before he ends up on the cover of the Times...or breaks the internet. Again. Thank you in advance.

Tony reacts immediately, trying to make a break for it, but Rhodey’s already tackling him into the couch, a hundred and ninety pounds of lean muscle and pretty Class As. Tony hisses breathlessly, the wind knocked out of him, and he struggles valiantly to keep his hands on his tablet while Rhodey does his best to rip it away. He doesn’t have a very good position so he makes a hair-brained, split-second decision to throw his body weight to the side, making them both roll off the couch. Rhodey’s a jerk though, and manages to react fast enough so that Tony takes the brunt of the impact, and he can’t even help but groan in a mixture of mild pain and disappointment as he feels the tablet being removed from his lax fingers.

“Sucks to be you, Stank,” he says breathlessly, fingers flying over the keyboard, and Tony cranes his neck until he can read Rhodey’s reply (and on Tony’s fucking account what in the hell!):

@YouKnowWhoIAm replied: I think I broke your hot mess of a husband, Stephen. Come collect him before he murders me with his eyes or gets his hands on another electronic device. We’re in the lab.

Three seconds later, Stephen walks through a portal, looking oh-so-fucking-gorgeous in his battle robes, and wearing a scowl of irritation that bodes well for rough, mock-angry sex in the near future.

Tony grins unapologetically, and abandons the lure of social media in exchange for his pseudo husband.

It’s an easy choice.

Also read on ao3.

Feel free to prompt me things on my Bingo Card!

[simkjrs]

msa ch5 asks (and others)

Anonymous said: AAA FROM 'MEET ME IN THE WOODS'- i know that lyrics!!!!! nice!!

*finger guns* nice!!

Anonymous said: -also thank you for existing you beautiful beautiful person! 😘

i think i might have accidentally deleted (or answered separately?) the first half of this ask but nonetheless thank you

Anonymous said: OK first thing: the chapter was awesome! amazing job! Second thing: the entire chapter was basically deku 'mildly' freaking out while being thoroughly pissed the entire time

it really and truly was. izuku as that one macro that’s like “this string is held up through pure stress alone” 

Anonymous said: mr compress weeb confirmed

look at his custom made villain costume and tell me he isnt that kind of guy

Anonymous said: god. Msa!izuku is /fifteen fucking years old/ and he has to deal with /so much shit/. Can someone just put him to bed and let him nap for a year, maybe

yes! maybe not a year though.

Anonymous said: God bless the new chapter gutted me and the flipped me inside out showing my true form, that of a big fan. Thank you for the blessing that is MSA

this is such a gruesomely funny image. thank you

Anonymous said: hey just read msa for the around the 9th time. you ar e so good at writing, the way you write character interaction is incredible. you should be proud. this is literally the best thing ive ever read.

THATS SO MANY TIMES, IM ASTONISHED YOURE NOT SICK OF IT YET!!! i hate staring at my writing too long it starts feeling all faded out and boring!! im really happy to hear you like it so much!

Anonymous said: As soon as Izu/ku woke up on the table I started screeching simk. Not okay!!!

haha im so sorry!!!! but overhaul literally wouldve experimented on ai/zawa and he DID experiment on eri this is completely in character of him

Anonymous said: Overhaul/Skin Beast: hi yeah can I get a fucking uuuuuhhhhhhhh experiments/faces? Izuku: Experiment machine 🅱roke *flies away with eri*

completely accurate summary of the chapter

Anonymous said: every day I long to become the amount of salty msa izuku is

valid but every day i long for msa izuku to receive the love and support that he needs

Anonymous said: sweetie noooooooo

i have no idea what part of the chapter this is referring to but first of all, big mood, and second of all, valid 

Anonymous said: hello you hurting because so am i!

i am hurting. while i was writing the chapter i kept looking at the screen like “i’m doing this? i’m really going to do this?” but overhaul is like that and i cant deny him the one salient characterization point he has

Anonymous said: UNICORN DAUGHTER HAS BEEN RESCUED THANK ITS GREAT

[my longest yeehaw ever]

Anonymous said: Since I might not get any sleep tonight because of flight plans and I might forget tomorrow and the next day, Happy thanksgiving! I'm thankful for your awesome stories~

Anonymous said: Happy Thanksgiving! I remembered!

happy thanksgiving!! im thankful that you enjoy my stories <3

Anonymous said: good job! i love it. and i’m crying. where did all this blood come from?

We Are All crying blood at this chapter

Anonymous said: Just read the new chapter and all I want to do is keysmash into your inbox. The chapter! Was so good! Izuku being sassy and angry and traumatized but still trying! And Eri! I'm so glad she's with Izuku now. Deku-niisan! I don't have words! And Rappa? Rappa! Also, that poem you linked is really neat. Grow up grow strong and focus your fury. Kind of feel like this is the theme for these two trauma children. Great work!

someone in the comments described izuku as “thoughtlessly kind” and i was VERY emotional over that because it’s such an excellent descriptor of the kind of person izuku is... he’s still trying, because that’s just who he is 

deku-niisan to the rescue :^) 

i’m really glad you enjoyed the chapter! thank you!

@zintiay submitted: Normally I get really annoyed when a character refuses to use an ability that would let them fairly easily deal with those around them. In this case though, you have done a really good job displaying why he doesn’t want to use this option, as well as what it takes for him to be willing to use it, that I mostly feel sad for deku that he was forced to let Eri’s spirit possess him, instead of getting caught up in the hype of an awesome moment

Honestly though, that’s also my reaction to the chapter as a whole. It was full of interesting world building and was generally an awesome chapter, but it was also well written enough that I also feel Izuku’s emotions and mostly just feel melancholy now.(Seriously, when I look back on it, “I invite you in” opened the gateway to an awesome and well deserved ass kicking, but it’s mostly just heart breaking. Why can’t I just enjoy Izuku kicking ass? Why?)

ahaha yeah, i try to have good reasons for why characters do or don’t take certain actions, and this whole fusion thing is something he keeps REALLY close to his chest... i’m glad that carried across well! it is very sad though that he feels cornered into using this ability. 

thanks for reading!

Anonymous said: Just wanted to say thank you. I think this sounds weird, but you finishing up chapter 5 of msa actually helped motivate me and I managed to finish my essay for a class.

OH? i’m glad to hear that! congrats on finishing the essay!

Anonymous said: This chapter was so fucking perfect I'm crying diamonds. What in all heavens and hells are you, you godly creature? I am so bloody happy you exist in this world. In this time line. I love your stories so damn much!

thank you so much!! i’m really happy to hear this <3 

Anonymous said: I love how just Done with everything msa Izu/ku is with everything. The fact that the only person he treats like a Person and not another threat to his Cryptid Status is Er/i and he just brings her home. I just. I LOV UR WRITING OK

it’s because eri pings None of his danger senses and All of his “i have to do something about this” senses. izuku is constitutionally incapable of helping someone in need. 

and thank you!! i’m glad you like it!

Anonymous said: I hope you know that i was able to read about half a page before i fucking died laughing i lov msa de/ku so much

i try to serve my darkfic with a large side of comedy

Anonymous said: I have the vivid image of msa Deku running into Aizawa by accident and just slowly walking backwards before turning to the sky and yelling "I HAVE DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY! I! DO NOT! HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT AS WELL!!!" while Aizawa slowly comes to the conclusion that he must adopt and save this troubled child.

this is hilariously close to some future scenarios i have in mind

Anonymous said: seeing a new chapter of msa honestly made my heart skip a beat in excitement. i have SO MANY questions and thoughts about this universe, i think i could ask you questions for hours, it sparks my imagination and curiosity in the best way. but for now, i just wanted to sincerely thank you for choosing to share your story and thoughts and ideas with all of us! it's always a delight, and i don't take it for granted at all. thank you, and i'm wishing you all the best always!!

thank you so much for this message!! it always makes me happy to know that others are enjoying this story as much as i am <3 i hope the best for you as well!

Anonymous said: What I expected in MSA ch.5: PAINPAINPAINPAINPAIN What I got: PAINPAINPAIN also Izuku adopts Eri, and Rappa for some reason (or did he adopt them!?!? DUNDUNDUN)

i cant publish a chapter without doing something a little fun, right? 

also im laughing at the idea of izuku adopting rappa, a fully grown man, as opposed to the other way around. izuku would hate this concept if anyone ever said it to him.

Anonymous said: so is msa iz/uku's tragic backstory basically being a walking disaster for all of his life until the point where he would have, in canon, met all might, and the msa version of the all might/one for all is the Temple and the subsequent ShitStorm™?

nope! the temple is something else 

Anonymous said: 💖💖💖💖💖💓💖💓💓💕💕💓💕💕💕💝💝💞💝💟💟💟💟💟💟💞💝💝💝💝💝💟💟💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘❤❤❤❤💙💚💚💚💛💙💚💜💚💛💚💜💙💜💚💟💞💗💞💟💟💜💚💛💚💘❤💘❤❤❤💞💟💝❤

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Anonymous said: i was stuck in a car for 3+ hours tonight but when i saw msa ch5 was up i was so excited, i spent the whole ride reading and re-reading it, it’s fantastic and you are too! <3

wow thats some dedication!! i hate reading in the car. thank you and im glad you liked it!!

Anonymous said: simk pls tell me we get roommate shananigans it would make my entire life. just a tired teen, a middle age man literally off the street, and their prepubescent daughter/little sister/niece/etc.

oh yes absolutely. this is a vital part of the au. don’t forget the cat

Anonymous said: hi hello i just want to say that your writing is amazing and gives me life and i get really really really excited every time you update. thanks for blessing us with such good fic <3

thank you so much!! i’m super glad to hear <3

Anonymous said: so izuku not only has eri but also the guy most likely to have been in kumite from bloodsport at his place. great job kiddo. (i mean that both genuinely and sarcastically)

izuku’s existence just naturally warps the reality he lives in into a circus show

Anonymous said: thanks to that one ask i can't stop laughing at the scenario of msa izu trying to get groceries and is seen by kiri / aizawa / tbh any hero. rappa and eri is with him and izu just stares at the heroes dead in the eye and leaves the place. he swears to never return there ever again

also hilariously close to some scenarios im contemplating

Anonymous said: DID MSA!DEKU EVER CATCH A BREAK ONCE IN HIS LIFE??? DID THAT EVER HAPPEN, SIMK. OVERHAUL IS UP THERE W ENDEAVOR I CANT BELIEVE U MANAGED TO MAKE ME HATE HIM THIS MUCH SNAKDNANFKW (btw? how much of a fucking RIOT would it be if the heroes did the exact same thing in canon, and when it came to the actual retrieving eri part theyd just find someone waving frantically "SHES ALREADY GONE, YOU IMBECILES. YOU FOOLS"

overhaul is easily hatable if you just extrapolate from his canon actions. cant wait for him to get fucking clowned

i think it would be really funny but kind of depressing if the heroes did that. izuku please help them

Anonymous said: u really dont fuck around, do u, simk?? this is really a chapter that i just read i really saw him getting experimented on by overhaul for real??? I REALLY SAW HIM DISMISS IT AS IF IT WAS ANY OTHER DENIAL WEDNESDAY???? DID THAT BOY EVER CATCH ONE (1) BREAK IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE?? also DAMN! HE Really Fucking Did That HUH HE BUSTED HER OUT OMG.. CANT WAIT FOR THE SIBLING RELATIONSHIP FEELINGS THING :') (also how much of a fucking RIOT wld it be if the heroes busted eri out but (1/2)

but when they ARE actually at the 8ps hq they just?? dont find her??????and everyone there is like "SHES ALREADY GONE YOU IMBECILES. YOU FOOLS." (2/2)

i really dont fuck around!! i hope!! i decide on a track and i stick to it!! as soon as i finished the first scene i knew that overhaul was going to Do That and i spent a few days agonizing over it and asking myself if i was really ready to go all the way with this. if i was really going to write it! i did write it. i am still occasionally in disbelief. 

yes. sibling relationship all the fuckin way 

Anonymous said: Is what happened at the temple the thing that made MSA Izuku give up on being a hero?

nah izuku giving up on being a hero is more just pessimism, cynicism, and paranoia trained into him by years and years of dealing with spirits and believing that he shouldn’t exist 

Anonymous said: this is all really silly but uhh,,, isn't izuku loosing credits? has his mother been informed of his absences? does he have anyone who can help him catch up with the missed material? is our boy going to graduate?

i dont really know how credits work in japanese schools, or how the absences thing works... he’ll be fine though, pinky promise

Anonymous said: Eri pulls back and looks up at them curiously. “Deku?” They peer down at her. She’s so small! She’s so near! “You look different. You…” She reaches up, and they bend down obligingly. Her hand touches something attached to the skull above the eyes -- my horn, the kirin whispers. “You have a horn like me,” she says, full of wonder, and touches it again. THIS ENTIRE FUCKING PART GOT MY HEART BEATING SO FAST. I LOVE THEM!!!! ILOVE HOW ERIS SPIRIT IS NOT A TOTAL ASSHOLE TOO!!!

trauma kid solidarity!!!! i am so excited for these two you have no idea

i, too, love it when a spirit shows a basic modicum of decency and is NOT Like That to izuku 

Anonymous said: "neptune" by sleeping at last gives me very kiri/msa!deku vibes

cool, i’ll check it out!

Anonymous said: Angry msa!izu/ku: acts like an alley cat, threatens to break a villain's dishes, talks a lot of bullshit, also kind of sad and depressed. Angry™ msa!izu/ku: frightens the hell out of everyone just by looking at them, makes everyone question their life choices, makes them feel small and insignificant and makes fun of said life choices, not exactly human.

yeah. i love msa izuku and  his anger is Valid 

Anonymous said: This chapter: Rappa: fight me MsaIzuku: no Rappa: fight me pls MsaIzuku: no Rappa: let me fight the people around you? MsaIzuku:....... Fine

this is a really great summary of that conversation

Anonymous said: Izuku's threat to throw all of M. Compress' dishes on the floor like that is the Worst thing you can do to someone made my entire day thank you

i’m really glad because this was the funniest threat i could think of besides “i’m going to break into your home and piss on your bed” 

Anonymous said: HE'S JUST A KID SIM

you know i had to do it to ‘em picture 

Anonymous said: Msa is just so so amazing!?!? I honestly love it so much. The way you write is so wonderful and it's practically doubled by the fact that the entire idea for the au is also wonderful. Izu is amazing and I love him. Thank you thank you thank you :')

aahhh im really happy you like it!! thank you for reading & supporting!!

Anonymous said: Rappa: "let me join you" ; msa!Izuku: "absolutely fucking not" ; Rappa: "I can be ur meat shield" ; msa!Izuku: *clenching and unclenching his fist, glaring up at the god he does not believe in as he leads Rappa and Eri to his home* "I fucking hate you"

izuku’s one weakness... trying to help others

Anonymous said: iirc, guardian spirits are bound to their respective charges by proximity but can still move around, but do they have to be close by when the quirk is used? Or will the quirk not be as effective?

nah, they don’t need to be nearby, one cool effect of being bound to a human is that the human has a store of the guardian spirit’s energy 

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the game OFF? Played it recently and it gave me Msa!spirit world vibes. The use of man made substances making up the natural world (e.g drinking plastic not water) just really stuck with me as something bizarre and very second intonation like. Although if you do explore the spirit world I guess you might have something maybe more mythological in mind? (Also the soundtrack is stunningly eerie).

never played OFF but i love its aesthetic so much 

Anonymous said: I'm gonna print msa out and it eat it. gochisousama

pfft itadakimasu 

Anonymous said: Hahahah holy shit that new chapter dialed things up to, like, 22 instead of 11 holy shit izuku oh no. (“Achievement Unlocked: 5+ Levels Of Trauma Added At Once!” msa!izuku: can I get a, uuuuhhhhhhh, refund?) skin creature is super creepy and perfect fit. Btw, side thought - however the heroes find out abt this whole mess, I bet they feel really guilty (shit, izuku puts foot in mouth and accidentally says smth. Kiri: horrified izuku: makes it worse by trying to leave topic) thx I Love it. V good!

once i committed i had to go all the way...

the ensuing conversations between izuku and the heroes are probably going to be kind of funny, and also a little sad. im looking forward to it. thank you for reading!

Anonymous said: Okay, I'm just catching up on the recent chapters of msa and this is what I've been getting so far Everyone: you have to understand- Msa izuku, restrained: no

correct. msa izuku refuses to accept your terms 

Anonymous said: Ahaha, geez, MSA chapter 5 was A M A Z I N G. Poor Izuku. Geez, the scene where he's tossed into his cell and just spends fifteen minutes crying and freaking out hurt so bad. And he remembered to (try and) call for help!!! Hopefully he tries again in the future, when it'll work (hopefully). I also got very excited by the Kirin!!! Like, holy smokes!!! Someone who actually doesn't want Izuku to suffer, and is willing to take steps to make that happen!! Yes good!! Plz timewalker protect this child

thanks carwash for being like the only friend izuku has

the relationship between izuku and the different spirits hanging around his house is probably going to be pretty fun. i know i’ve pulled a lot of bullshit in the past two chapters but i still have some new fuckery to introduce. i hope you are all excited for this

Anonymous said: would any other human be able to learn to speak in the second intonation in the msa au? Did msa deku learn the second intonation from someone, or is it just something he's always known?

1) good question! i haven’t decided yet. 2) he learned from someone else! who you will find out soon

Anonymous said: me: nobody has to get owned today. please, please put down the markers and step back msa izuku: Fuck oyu.

i totlaly forgot this was a thing but you know what? yeah. im laughing this is such a fitting quote

Anonymous said: you know by far one of the best aspects of msa izuku is just. He is a constant Power Move. and yet he would probs hate that. like this boy wants to be left alone and get some fuckin peace but in all his interactions whether he intends to or not he just fuckin busts a fuckin Move and its like holy shit holy fucking shit he did that.he did That. He doesnt want to do That he doesnt even realize its happening and thats why its a fuckin Power Move. Love this au i LOVE ur work and love ur storytelling

reminds me of @salvainterra‘s description of izuku: “izuku is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object and its through this paradoxical existence that hes reached the ultimate tier of not giving a fuck. good on him”

thats the secret behind it all!

Anonymous said: I love msa chapter five but I'm so worried about Izuku. He's a single teen parent of two now and he keeps missing school, how will he graduate and get in a position to follow his dreams of being alone and doing calligraphy if he misses so much of school that he doesn't get a diploma???

he will be ok! 

hey im really laughing at this because youre really including rappa as one of the people izuku adopted?? is this a thing now?? 

Anonymous said: (in msa) I am so glad you had Izuku save Eri omg. that poor child has been through enough (but also, omg the suffering you're putting Izuku through (it's great, keep going)). I'm super keen to see where you take this!!

i know im really putting izuku through the paces. while i was writing the first half of ch5 i kept telling myself that this was all for eri’s sake but MAN that was dark

thank you! im excited to pull some more bullshit. im glad you’ve been enjoying the story so far!

Anonymous said: Me reading the new msa chapter: ‘a family can be a Kirin, a girl who can disintegrate people, a supernatural teenager, a street brawler and perpetual sadness’ seriously tho it was really great and I loved it!!!

MFLNDLFKSDJF AND PERPETUAL SADNESS IM LOSING IT!!!

don’t forget the mysterious shadow spirit who may or may not be a cat 

i’m really glad you liked the chapter!!

Anonymous said: bc of allmights style i think of one for all's spirit just being a fucking american on the fourth of july with american flags everywhere and waving a minature flag threateningly and i cant stop thinking about it....

fortunately for us, that is incorrect 

Anonymous said: "Okay I've finally caught up on the backlog of work I've got, let's check in on my favourite blog and writer SIMKJRS and see what they're up to recently." *sees that you updated like a week ago* aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

jflskdfj glad you’re excited for this!! i know i only update like once in a blue moon, 

Anonymous said: hey i just want to say that i love everything about msa; the writing, the story, the imagery, ALL OF IT thank you for making such a wonderful gift!

thank you!! im grateful for your support <3

[angel-nero]

11 questions...

I was tagged by @pureren @zaevran @glaspaladin @z-ayauitl and @kcgane ty so much !!! ♥

RULES: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

my questions…

1. what’s the worst piece of clothing you own?

2. what’s the coolest piece of uh fashion that is so cool you can’t even wear to go out? lol

3.- what book have you read that you feel it has been the worst?

4.- What’s the healthiest meal you actually like?

5.- do you love keith kogane? (or vld keith lmfao what u prefer to use)

6.- something paranormal ever happened to you? if yea, what?

7.- do you get jealous easily? with who? (friends, popular ppl, talented ppl, the s/m)

8.- what’s the cutest thing you own?

9.- what are your favorite crisps?

10.- do you have a favourite drink?

11.- can you tell im hungry? what hobby you wish you liked or wish you did?

i tag: @kukinta​ @kittyr0se​ @heirith​ @liesfromsatansbuttcheeks​ @sheith-love-always​ @acequeenm​ @blessedkeith​ @lukaspatel​ @ke1th​ @ace-pidge​ @keith8​ but only if you want to!

TESSA’SS AND!! TAMI’S QUESTIONS1!!!

1.  Do you connect with people easily?

mmm, I don’t becos im a very quiet person and can be w u w/o talking at all and I get overwhelmed by convos I don’t care about also it’s kinda hard to win my trust and also interest lol. I’m nice tho, i mite not be enjoying myself but i’ll forev b nice w u.  

2. Did something good happen to you this week?

uH yeah, i’m doing things to improve my health, i did my uni exam, im frEE, i finally don’t have to go to rEliGIoUs classes aNYMORE and UH,,, i got a diet to win weight and its cool i get to eat ESQUITE LMFAO. i will see my bffs in friday and i have browney mix there i should bake but im lazy

3. What’s the personality trait that annoys you most in other people?

When people pretend to like something just 2 b friends w someone or ME, do you know we can be total dif and maybe still b friends if u cOOL. Ass kissers, hypocrisy, LIES LOL. I don’t like fake ppl at all.

4. If you could participate in any existing tv reality show, which one would you choose?

The ones where they change ur style and buy clothes for u 2 love urself and do ur hair and make up and buy u xpensive undies. I loved that crap when i was in secondary school lmao

5. What’s something you’re insecure about?

That I can’t be in one place without wanting tofuckin run, the fact that i can’t eat w ppl at all, that i have to go to the fucken gYM

6. What’s your favourite way to hang out with friends?

:’)) well,,, i go to my bff’s house or they come. If im fine then walk around my neighborhood cus it’s nice ahaha anxiety am i rite. oKAY, even if i get anxiety i like ice skating, or roller skating, i have a lot of fun. My friend want us to go to this pixies concert and im like :(( boo i love u

7. What’s your favourite fic trope?

lol idk,,,,, pining? mutual pining? no pining and they getting to know therngs im melttin sTOP idk…… it depends on whAT shIP. I just know i’ll read any fake dating of my otp. idk idk duuuude i legit don kno. It’s not a trope but i love crunchy feelings, showefjsid fksjnj its hard to talk about this im sOrry

8. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve liked in the past?

hahahahahaha my crush

9. What do you consider to be the best period of your life?

When I was 14. I went to parties more than i go to them now lol, i drank and smokkd w who where my best friends back theN i know it’s whack. we used to go to roller skate? all the damn time and did sleepovers and everything was funny, we practically lived together and my friend that was 16 drove us to places lmao,, everything was so good. but like, dont imagine me too wild i only smokd like 5 cigs in my life and hookah and we even broke one.

10. What do you consider to be the worst period of your life?

mpghgg, when i turned 15,,, in the middle of it everythin went to shit to the actual date. But im trying to change that

11. How did you meet your best friend?

I met her,,,, 11 years ago. Look, I usually have best friends in pack. I have 3 bffs at the moment, one of them sat next to me in 2nd year of primary school. IDK how i got to actually know my absolute bff tho but we did a lot of weird shit. we also met in the same classroom and she was my bff back then. The third one was also a frind but not so much during those years. Later i changed of classrooms and shit and bonded more when I was 14 w 6 friends and those r i did crazy shit w but we got separated and stopped talkin and they invited me to the club a week before my uni exam but i was high on meds and sick af. and never replied also going to meet em again at the club makes me nervous af tbH…. I have had a lot of super close friends in my life wTf. In my new school i have also 7 friends that r super close.And we’re also a pack of bffs. I actually had a hard time to use the word bestfriend lol, not bc of me havin a lot or anythin, i was just emo i guess

BEX’S QUESTIONS YOo

1. What’s the strangest nickname you’ve ever been given?

:))))))))))))))))))))))))) gabhole, gabaloney, TETI THAT SOUNDS LIKE TITTY. now ft Aztec secret 

2. Do you like to gossip?

UMMMMMM,, i dont like to listen to another ppl judging someone, I hate it and i normally tell them to stop. it depends i guess

3. Are you afraid of the dark? um,,, no but i dont like it lol

4.Have you ever been stung by a bee?

no, but i steppeddd on one. I also was pickin a tree and till this day i dont knoW wTF it was but i had something big in my middle finger and it fucken hurt like a bitch and i had A BALL on it UGHHHHH I HATE BUGS

Bigfoot or mothman? fucking none

Do you trust anyone with your life? i mean, idk

Do you have any habits you wish you could break? yEAH, to stop tweeting my mental breakdowns is one lmao. 

Would you go ghost/alien hunting? 

both tbh, who wants to break into abandoned houses w me, i live in front of one,,, i mean not so infront but in the row of houses infront of me lmao english whO? dude rosetta stoned by tool is my aesthetic, alien stuff. bex listen to it pls

Best pickup line? (you’ve heard or used on you/you’ve used)

u r the best chair *proceeds to sit on em* keith to shiro probably

Mint or fruit gum?

I dont like gum much cos it makes me hungry or thirsty. I also drink too much soda to fuck w mint stuff :(( say that to the mints i bought lol :( i only eat halls or gum bc im nerves w ppl so they stopped bein a thing i enjoy for me lol. i do that since im like,,, uh,,, idK 15. it fuckd my stomach

What do you want to be remembered for?

I mean if I have to pick and b unrealistic, for art maybe,,, or for the thing i end up working with, like architecture or somethin. Art, def art cus i like art so much

ZURI’S QUESTIONS!!!

1.-if you had to chose one thing to eat for the rest of your life what would it be? 

I MEAN THIS QUESTION IS THE DEVIL I GET TIRED OF EVERYTHING TO THE POINT I DONT WNAN EAT ANYTHING I WILL JUST IGNORE IT SSAYS ONE AND SAY MEXICAN FOOD

2.- what are you most afraid of? Mental illnes and being ill and living 

3.- do you have a favorite place to visit?

I mean,,,, i love walking in the center? centre? of my city bc is like going to another place. Is also fucking Cuba in there. Everyone says that, my dad asked a cuban marine he met if it was true and he said it was ‘’ the fackin same’’ So its like,,, travelling in time and places. also the beach and the port.

4.- what type of weather you enjoy the most?

I need the sun, otherwise i get sad… i like cloudy w sun. I just like to go out in the afternoon tho lol so like,,, sun pls so the sky can turn pinkish

5.- do you have a rare ability like dislocating your thumb or moving your eyes really fast?

i move my tongue real real fast and also can do the cherry knot thing and uh i can like, be aberrantly stupid too. hey but dont fuk w me and bother me 4 bein stupid, i will fist fite u and i mite b stupid but i will also mite think u r stupid if i don like u so fuk off. Dam,,, i get like, bothered so easy LOL like, think u r better than me and i’ll fist fite u LMFAO WHY THO I SUK, but like, if not bothered, i think of everyone as my equal… wow this was not the question

6.- do you think it would be easier to create one universal lenguage or an accurate translator? nO… dont delete culture like that,,, an accurate translator mite come in handy u kno but like, some languages have words that don’t exist in others so like :-/

7.- is there something that soothes you no matter what? um no i wish

8.- favorite piece of clothing? boots and thights

9.- is there a song stuck in your head right now? YEAH dig down by muse i love it, every1 says it sUCLks but i can’t stop listenin to it

10.- why is your favorite animal your favorite animal? i don play favs but i love the honey badger bc of this pleas fuckin watch it and THIS

11.- morning person or late riser? Oh,, i cant wake up to save my life so late riser

SUNNY’S QUESTIONS!!!

1. do you have any plushies? a LOT but im like,,, they r in my wardrobe and i luv em but like,,, they’re all gifts,,, did u kno one of my past bffs bought me a dino for christmas?

2. have you ever walked out the cinema before? 

Yeah, i love drive’s aesthetic and Ryan gosling a lot but is SO boring so idk if my friends and I got kicked out or we prefered to get out to talk haha. 

3. if you could have a mascot what would it be and why?

A CHINCHILLA, they’re a irl pokemon and they r so cUTE

4. what would your theme song be? kool thing, sonic youth maybe or is she weird by pixies. All Over the world by pixies too lol

5. do you have any phrases or sayings you find yourself coming back to often? not really, im so bad at remembering sayings and quotes

6what’s the nearest object to your right? a book called azul by ruben dario

7. would you rather live in the big city or out in the middle of nature? 

Big city forever. I love high? buildings a lot. I dont do that well in the rural life lmao 

8. are you working on any creative projects right now (fic/art/music/photography/ect) Nope at all and das sad cus i should b doing art lmao

9. what’s your favourite movie score? idk what is score… but the soundtrack of trainspotting is one of my favs… oh but score… aghgsdhaj any tarantino movie tbh or wes anderson movie… or before I disappear or demolition oR southpaw or the girl w the dragon tattoo

10. i say vol you say….? uuhhhhh,,,,,  vol….tron??? (ICONIC, I MELT, I LVOE HIM)

[deadgwen]

IT IS A HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST GOAT

@fucshias  @jiilys  MY LOVE GOATY. MY MOST BEAUTIFUL GOAT. MY SUN. MY STARS. MY BEAUTIFUL HOOVED CREATURE OF GOD. I HAVE ARRIVED TO SAY SOME IMPORTANT THINGS BUT FIRSTLY I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU U R READING THIS POST RIGHT NOW DUE TO A VERY IMPORTANT REASON AND THIS IMPORTANT REASON IS THAT

*CHOKES BACK TEARS*

IT IS UR BIRTHDAY.

*SCREAMING*

OK OKI DOKI BEFORE I START: I AM NOT ACTUALLY HERE BUT DO NOT BE D I S E N H E AR T E N E D BC I JUST DONT HAVE WIFI BUT I PROMISE U SOMEWHERE OUT THERE I AM SULKING AND FIGHTING A WALL AND ALSO SETTING OFF FIREWORKS BC !!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS UR FUCKING DAY AND IM SORRY I COULD NOT WISH U BUT I LOVE U SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH I AM HERE W/ U IN SPIRIT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT TURN THE FUCK UP HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U UR EXCELLENT AND I LOVE YOU AND ALSO WHAT THE FUCK BINCH HOW ARE U SEVENTEEN TODAY U ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT U KNOW WHO) WHO ALLOWED U TO BE LIKE THIS AND ALSO I LOVE YOU. AND ALSO I CANT BELIEVE UVE DONE THIS. UR LITERALLY SEVENTEEN TODAY I AM NOT ALRIGHT AND I NEED U TO HOLD ME BECAUSE I AM GOING TO COME OVER AND FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF BEING A DRAMATIC BITCH I WILL FAINT IN UR ARMS I AM 100% NOT ALRIGHT

like,,,, HONESTLY u are so. fucking. great. WHERE DO I EVEN START. 

FIRST AND FOREMOST I WANNA SAY I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THIS FOR UR BDAY I LOVE YOU GOATY I AM SO PUMPED THAT UR SO OLD ITS RIDICULOUS @ ME FUCK OFF ALRIGHT BUT. JUST. I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY U GOAT UR BEYOND INCREDIBLE

UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN UR YOUNG AND SWEET. ONLY. *SMASHES OPEN MY WINDOW AT 12 MIDNIGHT* SEVENTEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

SO OH MY GOD. I AM CURRENTLY YELLING BECAUSE??????????? LIKE???????????????? YOU'RE SEVENTEEN??????? HOW DID WE EVEN COME TO THIS POINT ITS INSANE LIKE HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SEVENTEEN WE'RE ALL JUST STILL TINY SMOLS WHERE ARE U GOING WHY ARE U GROWING OLDER STOP IT PLS ALRITE I DO NOT LIKE. MY PRECIOUS GOAT SUNSHINE WHO IS A PROFESSIONAL PAJAMA CONSULTANT A REAL SOLID BUSINESSWOMAN WHO DRIVES AND SHIT AND COULD PROBABLY RUN ME OVER AND IS 6'3 SO IF U WOULD SIT ON ME I WOULD MOST CERTAINLY DIE UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN AND I AM CRYING

but in all seriousness I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU i am FOREVER AND EVER glad that i met u LIKE I FUCKIN HATE U GODMDAN FUCKIBG GOAT MAKING ME REBLOG THIGNS FUCK YUO FUCK O FF but like????? apart from that UR FUCKING BEYOND FABULOUS and i have decided to compile a list of reasons why u are unbelievably great and have earned ur title of being a dancing queen/brilliant goat/actual love of my life. bc u are excellent. AND IT MUST BE WRITTEN OUT HERE SOMEWHERE THAT I LOVE YOU. 

OK OK OK SO HERE WE GO BINCHES. PREPARE URSELF. THIS IS GONNA BE SUPER LENGTHY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU A LOT AND I AM GONNA DO A 'ON THE JELLICOE ROAD' WORTHY REVIEW OF U BUT LIKE A SHITTIER VERSION SO U BETTER FUNKIN BUCKLE UP BITCH

LEZGO:

IS OBVIOSULY FABULOUS

IS A REAL LIFE GIRAFFE 

WE ARE BLESSED TO HAVE ONE ROAM OUT OF CAPTIVITY LIKE............. WE ARE STRONGLY BLESSED

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH

CLAIMS TO HAVE 'barely any leg but a huge torso' and interpret this how u want bUT i just wanna say u r the most fucked up giraffe ever ok what the fuck WHO HURT YOU

apparently dis binch owns a bunny AND NEVER TOLD ME SHE DID

owns a problematic rabbit bc it pees everywhere

said problematic rabbit likes to pee everywhere so much its ridiculous it has no respect for the value of items of modern society and thus in my opinion should be sent to COURT

@ rabbit U NASTY OK PLS GET UR PRIORITIES SORTED???? THIS HAS BEEN A MOTHERFUCKING PSA THANK U (CAROLINE I AM TRUSTING YOU TO SHOW THIS ON UR PHONE TO THE GODDAMN BUNNY I NEED IT TO KNOW)

is 100% excellent at looking after drunk people ALRITE literally THIS WOMAN IS A SAINT who has saved REAL LIVES tbh where would that poor child from your old intermediate be if u hadn't SAVED HIS ENTIRE LIFE from all that tequila he would DEAD thats fuKCIN RIGHT U DESERVE ALL THE MEDALS A TRUE HERO AMONG NEW ZEALANDERS. A NATIONAL ICON. SO BRAVE I AM SO PROUD I LOVE YOU ALWAYS

AND ALSO PULLING DRUNK MAKING OUT PEOPLE OFF EACH OTHER I JUST WANT U TO KNOW THAT UR EFFORTS ARE SO VERY RECOGNIZED BECAUSE ONE TIME I DID THAT AND I GOT PUNCHED IN THE THROAT I THOUGHT I DIED BECAUSE I SAW JESUS BUT IT WASNT ACTUALLY JESUS IT WAS JUST A POSTER TAPED TO A FRIDGE I WAS SCAMMED

her own mum has called the police on her and was 100% ready for some quality fun family jailtime

ALSO ONE TIME GOATY ACCIDENTALLY FUCKED UP SOMEONES REAR MIRROR AND THE VICTIMS OF THE INCIDENT DID NOT GIVE HALF A FUCK HOWEVER, HER MOTHER GOATY REPORTED SEVERAL FUCKS TO THE POLICE AND FILED AN ACCIDENT REPORT AND THAT WAS THE DAY MY GOATY BECAME A DARK CRIMINAL

*OMINOUS MUSIC*

I AM STILL WAITING FOR THE DAY I WALK MY BUTT INTO COURT AGAINST UR MUM COVERED HEAD TO ASS IN $3 PLASTIC BRACELETS BACKED BY UR UNEXPECTEDLY KLEPTOMANIAC SISTER AND A BASKET OF STOLEN WOMANS DAYS AND ALONG WITH BLING BLING JIMMY WE WILL RESTORE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS AND LACK OF CONSCIENCE ON THIS LOVELY EARTH

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ENOUGHT ABOUT UR MUM LIKE ACTUALLY ALL UR FAMILY MEMBERS ARE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF WILD AND..... I AM AFRAID

OK OK IT MUST BE SAID CAROLINE HAS THE MOST AMAIZNG VOICE ????? EVER

like i love her voice sm SO FUCKING MUCH I TELL U i have never heard anything like it and i want caroline to like read me books for hours AND HOURS AND NARRATE MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE because i love how unusually deep and shadowy her voice sounds like deep flowing river water or smth like i LOVE IT SO MUCH it. Is.So. Strange BUT I LOVE IT IT IS THE COOLEST GODDAMN THING THROW A BUCKET AT ME I LOVE YOU

HAS A VIDEO OF HERSELF DOING THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE AND I KNOW I HAVE PRAISED IT FOR TWO YEARS IN A ROW ALREADY LIKE @ ME PLZ CHILL BUT i will not i will NEVER it is solid entertainment a+++ QUALITY I AM LAUGHIGN IM LAUGHING I AM LAUGHING FOREVER those beautiful hops of pain across ur backyard ARE THE LAST THINGS I WANT TO SEE BEFORE GOD TAKES ME FROM THIS EARTH

WRONGFULLY FRAMED ME FOR HAVING SHIT DICK TENDENCIES AND THEN YELLED AT ME AND CALLED ME A GARAGE WHAT A BINCH I AM IN LOVE

loves yellow flowers AND ALL THE FLOWERS AND HEAVY ROSES AND IS A FULL OUT FLOWER HOE

IS DESPICABLE TEEN WOLF GARBAGE LIKE.... ive been scrolling through our fanmails AND MY HEART HUR T S G O A T Y hOld mE we were sO Y O U N  G and like no lie i shit u not 80% oF THE FUCKING MESSAGES ARE U YELLING 'STYDIA IS GONNA HAPPEN THIS SEASON' AND 'OH MY GOD DID U SEE THAT STYDIA SCENE' AND DECLARATIONS OF LOVE FOR LYDIA MARTIN AND THE OTHER 20% IS U ASKIN ME IF IVE SEEN THE NEW TEEN WOLF I LOVE IT I LOVE YOU I AM SORRY TEEN WOLF KEEPS DISAPPOINTING US BOTH BUT STDYIA IS. DEFINIETELY. GONNA. HAPPEN. THIS. SEASON. IT HAS TO OR I WILL FUKIN FITE ALRIGHT GIVE US STYDIA OR GIVE US DEATH I LOVE UR TEEN WOLF LOVIBG ASS

anyway caroline is an utterly excellent person

if u were an ncea paper i would grade u with excellence

*FINGER GUNS*

like ?????deals with my stupid yelling ALL THE TIME

whenever i had a problem and went to my goaty she was so very understanding and patient AND DID NOT CALL ME A DUMBASS WHEN I DESERVED TO BE DECKED

TOLD ME THE TRU DEFINTION OF THE PHRASE 'SHOT'

TWO YEARS OF UTTER CONFUSION. ERASED FROM MY LIFE. PERMANENTLY.

MY SKIN?? CLEARED . MY FUTURE BILLS ??? PAID MY HUSBAND MARRIED MY STATUE FOR CAROLINE FULLY ERECTED

ok but like i can never say this enough goaty IS SO NICE TO TALK TO PLETAHE TALK TO ME FORVER SHE IS FABULOUS??? it blows my mind constantly that someone this incredible and special walks along this earth NONE OF US DESERVE THE GOAT

also ???? WHAT IN THE FUCK HOW HAVE I NOT MENTIONED THIS YET CAROLINE IS THE BEST WRITER I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE SHE IS SO TALENTED EVERY TIME I READ ONE OF HER FICS I END UP THINKING ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS FOR 958495894 YEARS ALRIGHT THEY FUCK ME UP THEY WAY SHE HANDLES WORDS FUCKS ME UP HOW CAN YOUT TAKE FUCKING LETTERS AND THEN SHOVE THEM UP MY ASS LIKE THIS I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I am Not Strong Enough For This

i am not even kidding ok THE WAY U HANDLE WORDS IS IN.FUCKING.CREDIBLE whenever u use them its like?? u turned them into something precious and all your writing have this feel to it like as if im holding a delicate bouqet of a thousand yellow flowers like im holding a butterfly in my hands like im holding a box of eggs and i am scared shitless to drop it bC MY DAD WILL PERSONALLY CRUCIFY ME

I AM AWFUL AT DESCRIPTIONS BUT I HOPE U SEE WHAT I MEAN. LIKE. IT IS SO *SCREAMS* MINBLOWING DECK ME WITH ALL UR WORDS EVER

I AM ONE HUNDRED FUCKING PERCENT NEVER OKAY WITH ANYTHING YOU WRITE IT HURTS SO GOOD AND I LOVE IT

ok ok this hoe right here has written THREE fics with a dedication for me at the beginning and like.............. ..... do u ever just cri

i have 'the glorious everywhere' printed out and FUCKING PINNED TO MY WALL WHERE I CAN SEE IT FROM ALL CORNERS OF MY ROOM ALWAYS back in my apartment in russia like it is legitimately the best thing. i love everything about this piece it should be adapted into a novel or a short film like PULL SOME FIFTY SHADES OF GREY SHIT W/ IT OK the imagery and REALNESS of this fic gets to me all the time and im crying im crying im crying I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT PLS @ CAROLINE WHY ARE U SO TALENT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT FUCKIG I THINK ABOUT THIS FIC EVERY SINGLE DAY WHEN I WAKE UP FUCKING LOOK ' You see her hair dripping down her head and spinning out over the seats in the back and lighting them on fire. You see her pale skin and electric veins as she puts her hand out the window and tries to catch the sky and stuff it up her sleeve. You hear her voice, “Just drive James, you’ll know where we’re going when we get there.”  

REALLY I AM NOT FUCKIGN Okay CALL AN AMBULANCE CALL IT NOW I AM UNWELL I AM SICK I AM DYING FUK ME RITE UP

i am fully convinced this is the greatest thing thats ever been written.like. How. the. FUCK. tbh i want this paragraph ENTIRELY TATTOOED ON MY ASS I AM ZCRYING @ CAROLINE YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BRAIN AND I AM SO VERY GLAD THAT IT EXISTS

i will not go into depth abt yelling about ur fics bc tbh i think u Know but I JUST WANNA SAY 'oh darling i have coloured blood (that i stole from you)' is the most iconic piece of literature to this day ever the and i zcri all the time because you are a goddamn bloody genius and you shine in colours beyond my comprehension and i love you so so so incredibly much

MY LOVE IS SO FUCKING TALENTED I AM YELLING I AM YELLING I AM YELLING

DOESN'T EAT FRIED SPERM

writes the BEST emails in history

UR SO LOVELY U GIVE ME SO MANY BEAUTIFUL SPELLING ERRORS FOR ME TO WHOLEHEARTEDLY ENJOY I AM GIGGLING *GIGGLES* IT BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY WHEN U FUCK THINGS UP

tbh it is how fried chair came to life like it was actually in one of your first fanmails to me u said that two years ago and to this day it remains the Most Iconic Thing Ever

STRONG SUPPORTER OF WEETBIX

LOVES WEETBIX

FOUGHT TIGERS AND LIONS FOR HER FAMILY AND WAS SAVED BY WEETBIX AND WEETBIX ALONE 

ACTUALLY HAD A THING CALLED ‘WEETBIX DISCOURSE’ ON HER BLOG LIKE IT WAS ACTUALLY A THING THAT HAPPENED A REAL THING THAT OCCURED AND WAS PASSIONATELY ARGUED ABOUT AND I HAVE SEEN THINGS THAT CANNOT BE UNSEEN

RIGHTFULLY SO BC WEETBIX >>>>> JONAH GRIGGS I AM SORRY IT IS THE RULES

FUCK THE H8RS

like ??? is hilarious af QUEEN OF HUMOUR AND MAKING ME SNORT MY GODDAMN CHOCLATE MILK LIKE CAN U NOT BE SO EXCEPTIONAL U HO HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION U LIL BITCH but YES a++ top notch QUALITY storytelling skills in both fic writing and tequila struggles I APPRECIATE IT TO DEATH

ok ok ok also the most beautiful person ever??? LIKE ???????????????? BITCH WHAT THE FUCK ??????????????????????????????????????????????? WHO ALLOWED U

THE MOST PERFECT HAIR. ur hair is like waves of a golden ocean cascading from ur hEAD AND IT IS SO MAGICALLY FITTING B/C U R AN ETHEREAL BEING AND THE FACT THAT U HAVE AN ENTIRE WILD SEA RAGING ON UR HEAD JUST PROVES TO ME THAT U ARE A GOD AMONG MORTALS. UR HAIR IS SO PRETTY OK OK OKAY FUCK ME UP. STRAIGHT UP GORGEOUS. SO SOFT TOO AND SO SHINY AND IT FITS U SO WELL I AM FOREVER SCREAMING

THE MOST ANGEL FACE. GOATYS FACE LOOKS LIKE GOD OR WHOEVER THE FUCK WAS RESPONSIBLE CARVED IT OUT OF ROSE PETALS AND MARBLE LIKE. IT. IS. TRULY. THE MOST GORGEOUS THING ur face is softer than clouds tbh AND UR SMILE SAVES MY LIFE ITS BRIGHTER THAN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE CONDENSED AND SOMETIMES WHEN I SEE UR SELFIES I HAVE TO GO GET LASER EYE SURGERY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN B L I N D E D

U R SO UNCONSIDERATE TO MY FRAGILE HEALTH HOW DARE YOU

SO. GODDAMN GORGEOUS SLAY MY ENTIRE LIFE I BEG U ID PAY U TO SIT ON ME WITH UR HUGE BONES AND SLOWLY CRUSH ME INTO AN ENDLESS DEATH I HAVE $4 LEFT OVER FROM MY LIFE SAVINGS DO IT BAE

has the best taste in music omg WHAT A BLESSING WE LIKE THE SAME SONGS AND IT ACTUALLY KIND OF SCARES ME B/C IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE THE SAME PERSON AND THIS DOES NOT HELP MY CONSTANT STATE OF EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

HAS THE BEST TASTE IN BOOKS and adores skam as much as i do AND LOVES CHRIS/EVA AS MUCH AS IDO AND WROTE A FIC FOR THEM AND THE SNIPPET FROM IT ????? MY SOUL. GONE.

so tol and will never stop accusing me of being smol but listen up aight. imma FUCK YOU UP. REAL GOOD. ONE DAY. WHEN I CAN AFFORD TO BUY A LADDER. UNTIL THEN SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN BINCH BC I AM COMING TO GET U

and is also the smartiest smart to ever smart LOOK AT MY U GO WITH UR EXCELLENCE ENDORSEMENT when i buy that ladder I WILL CLIMB IT AND HOVER AROUND UR HEAD LOTS SO I CAN ABSORB UR POWERS AND ALSO BREATHE THE FRESH AIR UP THERE WHICH IS NOT AVAILABLE TO GROUNDED PEASANTS SUCH AS ME

AND IS THE BEST COOKIE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE LIKE IF THIS ISNT ENOUGH TO CONVINCE ANYONE THAT CAROLINE IS BEYOND EXCEPTIONAL FOR OUR GALAXY THEN THEY CAN FUCK OFF PLS OK

like honestly,,, MY LOVE I COULD GO ON FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND CENTURIES UNTIL MY TEETH FALL OUT AND I GROW SENILE WITH MY LOVE BUT THE POINT OF THIS HOT STEAMING LAME MESS IS THAT I LOVE YOU TO BLOODY PIECES UR SO F U C K I N G INCREDIBLE I AM SO GLAD I MET YOU AND THAT YOU TAlk TO ME AND WE EMAIL EACH OTHER AND I AM BLESSED THAT YOU EVEN THINK OF ME AND THAT FREID CHAIR LOVES ME AND THAT U R MY GOAT BC UR MY ONLY GOAT AND UR THE BEST ONE THERE IS NO SHADE @ ALL OTHER GOATS BUT LIKE. IM SORRY I CANNOT TELL A LIE

IT IS THE COLD HARD TRUTH. 

and like??? i did a /search/deadgwen ON @jiilys BC I WANTED TO LOOK AT ALL OUR OLD STUFFS FROM 2015 and I Regret it I Regret it So Much theres a selfie from like when i was 14 and an idiot still on Ur blog and I look like an actual tragedy I Want to Die  we have known each other for so long its RIDICULOUS UR STILL AS AMAZING AS U WERE BACK THEN AND I AM MORE OR LESS CURED OF MY CONDITION OF BEING AN EMBARASSING DIPSHIT AND ITS CRAZY HOW MUCH YOUNGER WE WERE THEN LIKE UM WTF BUT UR STILL AS BEAUTIFUL AND 9384930X TIMES MORE AND I STILL LOVE U BC UR PERFECT AS EVER AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS

NOW. I WAS GONNA MAKE YOU A PRESENT LIKE I REALLY DID BAE I TRIED SO MUCH SHIT ITS HORRIBLE BC LIKE ??? I WANTED TO MAKE YOU A PRESENTATION ON UR GOAT SUPERIORTY LIKE I DID LAST YEAR EXCEPT Like i am a fucking asshole™(COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE MAN TEH MYTH THE LEGEND) who cannot do shit FOR SHIT it turned out so Awful and i cANNOT GRAPHIC BABE I TRIED TO MAKE YOU THIS EDIT AND THEN I REALIZED IT WAS Bad AND FOUGHT MYSELF FOR SIX HOURS AND I CANNOT WRITE AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE GIFTS EVER BUT I AM TRULY AWFUL

*ZCRIES*

I KNOW IM  LAME AND MY ONLY TALENT IS YELLING FOR HOURS ON END I WISH I COULD HAVE MADE YOU SOMETHING REALLY COOL BC ITS UR SEVENTEETH AND 17 IS THE BEST NUMBER AND UR LOVELY AND I LOVE YOU SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME BAE FOR BEING AN ACTUAL GARAGE ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE EXPERIENCE) SHIT DICK 100% TERRIBLE DICKFLUTE OKAY I LOVE YOU AND I CAN NEVER IMAGINE WHAT I WOULD BE WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD YEAR LIKE FUCK SHIT UP BAE UR GONNA BE IN YEAR 13 ITS ALL GONNA BE SO AWFUL AND WE WILL ALL DIE aND WERE SO O L D JESUS CHRIST IF HEART ATTACKS DONT TAKE US OUT NCEA LEVEL 3 WILL BUT I HOPE THIS WILL BE A SUPER GOOD YEAR FOR U IN REGARDS OF EVERYTHING BECAUSE U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT I HOPE THINGS WILL LEAD UP TO U GETTING THAT APARTMENT IN NEW YORK AND ALL THE HIGH HEELS THAT U WILL WEAR AND ALL THE YELLOW FLOWERS THAT U WILL BUY AND UR CAREER AS A LIFECHANGING LITERARY GENIUS OK OK I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE

ok ok ok but. 

ONE MORE THING.

LISTEN.

THE FUCKING

*CLECNHES JAW*

REBLOG FIASCO

*FLINGS MY ASS INTO THE SUN*

WHEN IT IS GOOD AND DAYLIGHT. U HAVE UNTIL THEN. LIKE I KNOW THIS IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH AND I LOVE YOU BUT FUCK OFF HWO COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU I FUCKING FUCK JUST FUCK YOU FUCKING DICK i will RIOT 

OKAY BABE ITS MIDNIGHT AND ILL BE UP IN ABOUT SIX HOURS AND LIKE. ANYTHING. ANYTHING ELSE FOR UR BIRTHDAY WISH OK BABE IM GONNA FUCKING DIE THIS IS IT THIS THE END I WILL GO DOWN SWEARING PROFUSELY WITH A HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND U WILL BE WATCHING AND LAUGHI G ANF @OFFICALTALL FUCK YU FUCKDUCKUD CUDCKUD DNUSJNDJF FUCK U @GOATY FUCK. UFCN WHERE IS UR HOOF WHY ARE U NOT FEELIN THE TEMPERATURE ITS EBOLA ITS GOATBOLA I WONT MAKE IT UNTIL DAWN I WONT SEE THE SUNLIGHT GOATY I CANT *FAKE CRYING SOUNDS* I WILL DIE. IT WILL HAPPEN. AND I WANT IT TO BE KNOWN THAT U ARE THE BITCH THAT KILLED ME. *MORE FAKE ZCRYING SOUNDS* I MUST SEND MESSAGES TO ALL MY DEAREST KIND FRIENDS WHO HAVE NEVER FUCKED ME LIKE THIS ALRIGHT *FAKE COUGHING* TELL THEM THAT I *MORE FAKE COUGHOGN* LOVE THEM *THROWS KETCHUP PACKET EVERYWHERE WHILE UR NOT LOOKING AND BUSY BEING WORRIED ABOUT MY HEALTH* AND I WILL REMEMBER THEM EVEN IN DEATH

ANYWAY HERE IS MY WILL:

WHAT U GET:

nothing

u get nothing

bINCH

zero. zip. nada

0 potato 4 u

U CAN HAVE THE SALT FROM MY KITCHEN SO U WILL BE PERPETUALLY REMINDED OF MY LAST EMOTIONS TOWARDS THIS LIFE

maybe like the one half a potato that was randomly in my drIVEWAY THAT ONE TIME 

M A Y B E

WHAT GOOD KIND LOVING FRIENDS, SUCH AS MILS AND FRIED CHAIR AND ELLIE AND OTHER ASSORTED PEOPLES WHICH I SHALL ADDRESS IN CLAUSE 4.20 OF THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF MY WILL, GET:

actually mils is a hoe and can choke but u r the evil here rn aND FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS ARGUMENT WE WILL PRETEND THAT I LIKE MILS

ANYWAY. REALLY GOOD THINGS I OWN

I HAVE SOME SOCKS I DONT WANT U GUYS CAN HAVE THEM

AND LIKE

MY DUVET

SEE GOATY THESE ARE THE KIND OF HEART TOUCHING POST DEATH GIFTS U MISS OUT ON WHEN U MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD

ALSO NO TOUCHING MY MANGOES THAT I BOUGHT TWO DAYS AGO BECAUSE I STILL WANT TO EAT THEM AND IF ANYONE EVEN BREATHES IN THEIR GENERAL DIRECTION I WILL BEAT THEM UNCONSCIOUS WITH A TELEPHONE THIS IS A T H R E A T

I HOPE UR TAKING NOTES AND I HOPE U FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING A 6′3 KILLER BECAUSE UR AN ASSHOLE ™LIKE UR ASSHOLIER™ THAN THE REAL ASSHOLE THAT IS JONAH GRIGGS™ THE LABEL™ (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS™ THE ANT MURDERING HOT PIECE OF ASS™) BUT I WILL DIE FOR U MY GOAT *strokes ur pretty face* BC IT IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH FOR ME TO SUFFER AND I LOVE YOU AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR U THEREFORE . DESPITE THIS SICKNESS *FLAILS* I. WILL. BE. BRAVE. I WILL REBLOG THOSE TWENTY POSTS I WILL FLATLINE BY THE THIRD POST AND MY BLOOD WILL BE ON UR HANDS *CAREFULLY ARRANGES MY STUNT GOAT IN POSITION* AND I WILL BE YELLING CURSES AT YOU IN THE TAGS BUT I WILL DIE IN THE NAME OF HONOUR I WILL GO DOWN AS A GOAT NEVER HAS BEFORE 

BUT LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND I I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC I AM SO HAPPY U EXIST. HAVE THE BOMBEST ASS 17TH BIRTHDAY BABE I HOPE UR PARTY IS LIT AND HAVE FUN GETTING DRUNK AND HAVING ALL THE BANTS AND LAFFS AND ALSO I WILL SEND U THE AWAITED EMAIL IN A FEW HOURS WHEN MY INTERENT IS BACK ON  BECAUSE IT IS A CONTINUATION OF THIS BULLSHIT WITH SOME STRUCTURED DISCUSSION AKA WHAT THE FUCK DO U HAVE AGAINST SMIRNOFF ICE how is it not HARDCORE enough for u IT IS LITERALLY FLAVOURED VODKA DOES IT NOT KNOCK OUT UR 6′3 ASS OR WHAT EXCUSE ME 

ANYWAY IN CONCLUSION.

HAPPY. SEVENTEENTH. BIRTHDAY. MY. CHUM.

*BLOWS U A KISS*

*PUTS ON TWO FÜR COATS TO REMAIN UNDETECTED* 

*STEALS ALL UR WEETBIX AND RUNS AWAY TO ALASKA NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN*

*still replies ur emails tho cuz i love u bitch y u do dis to me*

[evenbechnet]

GROUP CHAT 7/01/17 GMT

Feel free to edit and add!! 00:00- all quiet, everyone finally goes the fuck to sleep

1am- salma, bells and Elliot having a party and crying about the summary, horse Even!?? Why? Animals, farm yard animal, farm discourse TM. Quack quack mother fuckers.

2am-killer tire in dessert movie, ohmygid these guys are literally shit posting idk what I’m summarising but I’m laughing, Elliot gets attacked by animals how is he alive?,

3am-9am- wondering about Eva noora discourse, wondering about anteater Wilhelm,

Fic Recs galore: - http://archiveofourown.org/users/rhalei/bookmarks - https://archiveofourown.org/works/8815849 - http://archiveofourown.org/works/8961337 - http://archiveofourown.org/works/8802484/ - https://archiveofourown.org/works/8820784 - http://archiveofourown.org/series/607585 - WIP with 4 chapter no link!???

Talking about terrible FICS again, werewolf isak vs hung horse even, RHAE “instead of biking to the pool ISAK rides on evens back”, furry vs curry discourse, this isn’t VILDUS pls , Taha: someone needs to read it and report back/////

Ao3 FICS are weird, mermaid fic, (someone rec that properly pls I havnt read it -Zaa) , more talking about the trailer dropping and how we gon die, might require spray bottles,

Daf is awake and approves of the FICS, caterpillar on chrispys face in s1 #confirmed, FANART is so sacred , must protect at all costs, so much talent

WHERE IS A SNAKES BUTTHOLE, snakesak has taken over as a horrifying meme, snake tongue compile? Snake videos? Pls provide links, he always licking his lipssss we should have known, WE CANT GO BACK,

10am- if Isak has dry lips Even needs to be licking them for him, JUST COUPLE THINGS EVAK

11am- Shola wages a one man war on the crispy discourse, her soul has been penetrated by p Chris, sprays bottle and despair, Shola tried recalling her fellow demons daf and Rhae for back up, more pchris discourse(more like only pictures), hating on shola )): , everyone being possesed by pchris, FICS discussion, ao3 vs lj vs ffnet, first fandoms?

12am- Harry Potter aus, which houses discourse,slytherin isak and his snake pickup lines, see seperate post.drawings of snakesak with snake.

1pm- ISAK so pale, cafeteria scene creys, that week was too dark, General ep 6 and 7 love, SHOES, halla scene vs hotel room scene, matching boyfriends

2pm- it was defo isaks first time, INFINITE, why was Even hair still perfect, it was the icecream secret, Faiza pray bottle is needed, when even touches isaks Lip in the hotel SCENE, NOSE IN HIS MOUTH, ER DU DANSK, 2pm is Lot okay- AND ISAK BEING SO CLOSE TO HIS MOM LIKE "OK BUT YOU DIDNT PAY ME THIS WEEK AND YOUR SON MADE ME BUY SO MUCH SHIT WITH MYYYYY MONEY???"

Evens mum and isaks mum head canons, Listen someone write a fic where their families have a get together @cz where r u- there is no way to summarise what's happening it's actual chaos.

SHOLA FOLIGH AWAY, more crispy wilhelmmy faces, they never end, will we ever be free? Chris and Eva the new FOLGERS commercial - Dani is leaving to EAT GOOD THINGs - like snakes aka venom!???, HANDS, Evaks hands, who cares about SEX scenes we want hand holding, THERE WAS NO SEX SCENS DISCOURSE GOT TO IRONIC

3pm- PORNHUB talk, dick talk, are dicks ugly or not, what did ISAK do in the shower in ep8, how do ppl not read the texts between clips, Faiza coming for us all with even giving ESKILD sex advice and tips, Rhae throws holy water- OH How THE TURN TABLES, Eskild even Isak hitting gay bars head canons, kitchen sex ftw, they fucked in the kitchen after 5 fine frøkner #confirmed,ILL TATTOO MANNEN I MITT LIV ON MY FOREHEAD, NSFW headcanons: Even probably makes dick jokes while they have sex, probably goes "the millennium falcon isn't the only thing that comes in less than 12 parsecs" when he's close and isak just goes wtf Honestly I can summarise this its just filth about EVAK sex are we any better than the chrispy fan girls!?

just all around terrible EVAK sex headcanons to Justin beibers baby. DONT LOOK AT ME I AM IN THE SHAMECUBE.

Evens SEX playlist;

- My anaconda - nicki - Baby my Justin beiber - Talk dirty to me - Take U down by Chris brown - Lots of years and years

Praise kink Isak, its it's just filth for an hour plus about EVAK sex I'm not gonna lie, ISAK likes scarves because they cover them hickeys

4pm- Faiza telling us a cute EVAK In School making out behind closed class room door, Shola and RHAE span crispy, even tongue is not alone anymore hi isaks tongue, why is this chat so filthy we all need Jesus, multiple holy water GIFS, ocean gif, penetrator ET, HALLA after sex, DAF and Zaa livetexting the awful sleeping beauty fic , let's never speak of it again, more shitting on eyewitness, Talking about good shows, watch merli, the get down,sense8,

5pm- s4 NRK poll, skam saved 2016 y'all, so many feelings, getting pretty sappy, love all y'all, skam as a good and bad coping mechanism the discourse, from dicks to feelings: and EVAK story, even4s4 discourse for the tusen time, crispy Kreme roasting, season 4 trailer contemplation, 8th Jan at 21:21 WHAT LIES, also u; waiting t 21/22 8th Jan refreshing the site,

6pm- we are all hot AF #confirmed, the tollness vs smolness debate, we are all dating now it is decided, crushes and how to flirt, EVAK yoga store, COUPLES yoga, ASK OLD ESKILD typo I love to regret My life, more love life talk, let's take desperate to a whole new level of EVAK could do it so can we

7pm- Evens bipolar diagnosis discourse, fandom before and after ep8 on the subject, bitch we guessed it we was RIGHT, wlw on skam pls, attacking VILDUS smh, vilde Magnus sexuality debate TBH, WILLHELM NOSE CANT FIT INTO CHRISPEE's MOUTH, never gets ask old, look at that washboard ass, crispy again, will we ever be free of crispy, TRIGGERED WILHELMY AND CRISPY

8pm- quotes for edits, poems and writing such talent here u guys

9pm: fic talk, finally the mermaid fic link (http://archiveofourown.org/works/9111700/chapters/20710825), why is there tarjei David friendship discourse why, why are ppl so gross!?,

10pm- hating women who get IinThe way of m/m ships PLS DONT, why must ppl invalidate even and isaks sexualities?, 11pm- all quite on the western front TBH

[vonseal]

what im weak for this week

yet again, im dumb so we have two weeks worth! i’ll be on top of it next time, i promise!

this is real long, forewarning, but you guys are such good writers sooooo

(from now on, im keeping a running draft that i will just post once a week, this takes so long when i wait two weeks omg)

two boys; one bed by fivepixelphan

(tbh this sounds like it’s going to be dirtier than it is) (and in case you’re wondering, it’s 0% dirty, 100% cute) i love socky and i dont love unrequited feelings and so i was pretty covered in this fic, because it’s SOCKY WITH A HAPPY ENDING! all i wanted was a happy ending while reading through this fic, so bless fivepixelphan for coming through for me! <3

faking it by koutarous

when moonbin needs a fake boyfriend, who does he choose? obviously eunwoo because binu lives forever in our hearts!!! this sort of reminded me of coffee prince, without the whole “eunwoo is a girl holy cow” type of thing going on, which is just fine with me! i love the plot, because it’s corny and cliched and that’s legit my middle name (corny and cliched - it’s no longer Vonseal). please please please read this! it was just perfect!

you & me by sanhasbinu

why do i expect happy fics, all of a sudden there is an influx of angst and my heart is being ripped from my chest. sanahasbinu has been on here before with an angsty fic (cotton candy, check it out), and i thought maybe i wouldn’t have to deal with the pain anymore, but i do. i do. and i love every second of the heart-wrenching feels (i’m 21 and i still use feels unironically, lord save me).

i saw an angel by parkjinwoes

SOMEONE GIFTED SOCKY TO ME!!! i cried reading it, it was long and funny and sort of sad at times, i just wanted them both to be happy together, but then this line: However, Yoon Sanha is also terrible at keeping secrets and feelings to himself. Oblivious to him, Park Minhyuk is too good at doing that. THAT MADE ME REALIZE i gotta trudge through the sad first before getting to the happy. but when i got to the happy, BOY OH MAN it was definitely happy. big recommendation right here!

centaurea cyanus by A_N_D_Y

I WAS SO SCARED OMG. usually with these hanahaki type of fics (tbh i still dont fully understand what the hanahaki thing is or how it came about, but i’ve read three astro fics relating to this so i may or may not be a sorta-expert), someone ends up dying??? annnnnd i really thought death would come in this fic. and i dont want to tell how it ends, but pls understand binu is forever alive and well within our hearts (and maybe the fic, i may or may not be giving away the ending)

shopping list by Shinigamibutter

when she releases cute myungjin, she really release cute myungjin. i mean, this was so fluffy and domestic and i just wanted it to go on forever and ever. never before has a shopping trip been so interesting!!! never before has it filled me with such joy and happiness! also BUTT GROPING YES (you guys learned my weakness)

like a game of hide-and-seek by kimtaehyungsleftpinky

frat boy jinwoo is something i never knew i needed in my life, but good golly, i did need it. coupled with cat owner myungjun (also my weakness - cats and myungjun, how dare) this fic was just perfect??? i want to know more about their relationship and  “I don’t like your cat.” Jinwoo muttered and looked at Marco in disgust. Myungjun gasped and covered Marco’s ears as if the cat had understood what Jinwoo had said. this just made my entire day, that’s a me thing, hashtag relatable.

our own space travels, shall we leave? by spaceviolet (vividplum)

MINHYUK IS THE TRUE MVP OF THIS FIC. i wish i had barista minhyuk all the time. but we have more socky (i am REALLY loving this sudden rush of socky fics, you guys rock!) and SANHA GETS STOOD UP and i’ll punch whoever stood him up. but minhyuk is ready with the correct drink order, bless this barista, and his pals are hilarious and i just had a lot of feelings for this fic <3

soft rock by birdbrainberke

soft pebble minhyuk, so soft and so in love with yoon sanha. this is the socky sequel (is it a sequel?) to the broken bones fic i posted and raved about recently, and oh my good golly, i love this so much. i love the insight to minhyuk’s character, and the reasons he does the things he does and says the things he says. also he is #savage towards bin, which cracks me up, and i love birdbrainberke and all his beautiful, wonderful fics <3

blood, sweat & tears by jiminaddiction

(is this a bts reference? i’ve only heard three bts songs, but i think this is a bts reference?) so im a little nervous about this one because it’s got some crazy tags that make me scared for the future. I DO NOT LIKE SADNESS AND PAIN and i think i’m going to get it. im a soft, meek marshmallow, and i finally found some Moonrock and I KNOW THERE WILL BE SADNESS AND PAIN. but i think i can trudge through, i will be strong!

cliche by Shinigamibutter

THIS IS SO SOFT AND CUTE BINU how do you write such cute and soft binu??? idk, but i love the little descriptions of bin’s smile and eunwoo’s absolute infatuation with him, like this is short and sweet and it pierces my heart with the cute, bless u for this!

the sweet ride home by diametrical

idk if you guys know this, but i love kids and i love families and i love astro, so when you just combine all three of these into one, im just a melted pile of gooey feelings. binu and eunwoo as a single dad kills my heart it just melts it all completely. this was so well-written, too, and i found myself ready to sacrifice someone to get more of it (i jest only slightly).

made in the a.m. by koutarous

tbh mj is me drinking - i’ve been forbidden to drink at work events anymore because i am easily drunk, i am not sorry for my low alcohol tolerance and neither is mj, apparently, because he does it regardless. i didnt expect the MYUNGJIN BUT I GOT THE MYUNGJIN and i may or may not have just fallen in love with it???? bless u for writing this (underage drinking = big no no)

secret by j_kwanboo

JINCHA!!! JIN. CHA. tbh thats all that i need sometimes, some good ol jincha (flashback to jinjin calling eunwoo pretty and my heart melting, that was so cute), and this is cute jincha and also SANHA LOSES HIS INNOCENT EYES, PLEASE SPARE MY CHILD!!! i really loved this fic, i laughed at it and i will hug poor sanha and give him back his purity.

who wrote the book on goodbye? by Rach4040

when i was younger, i thought i was so mature for liking that dear john book by that-fantastic-romance-author-whose-name-escapes-me, but then i realized i hate those goodbyes for lengthy periods of time, so by all accounts i should hate this, but i can’t because it’s cute and pure and it is a little sad, but i know it will be happy in the end!!! <3

train to busan astro au by @glowingjinjin

i am still very mad at this whole fic, do not read if you value your heart in one piece, im not even kidding i just cried over this a lot and im waiting for some cute myungjin, lanna, or else i might punch someone in the face, not naming names at all, but even going back to link this fic made me get flashbacks and i feel empty inside thinking about it. how dare u. dont read this, on second thought, it’s painful.

UPDATED FICS FROM LAST TWO WEEKS -

problems with pastry by sanhasbinu: im glad mj survived war  ^o^ ^o^ ^o^ ^o^

hide and seek by Mintwho (NaCltyRy): mj, why do you gotta be this way??? also why do you gotta write a fic making me choose between my bias and my bias wrecker, like im so sad

the year we met by  fivepixelphan: MY HEART IS SLOWLY BEING MENDED IM DYING IN CUTE FEELS NOW

medley by sassysavagesanha (RedJusticeLibra): i get so hyped whenever this gets updated, you always deliver such cute socky!!!

stray romance by Alette: MJ: im an adult i cant just come willy-nilly. ROCKY: eunwoo has boyfriend. MJ: im coming willy-nilly. i love.

and if you ever have anything you think i need to check out, hit me up with that fic, fams. i dont even care if it’s your own. i check a03 regularly, so if it’s something posted elsewhere, pls let me know!