#someone headcanoning a character as ace says absolutely nothing about the ace community as a whole

[tea-cat-arts]

Went down a bit of a rabbit hole (the jc antis were so insistent that "canon jc" was the only tag for them so I wanted to see of "jc critical" was a tag that was actively used) and what do you mean people are calling Jiang Cheng an incel???

Like, when in the books has he ever been hostile towards a woman because they've refused to have sex with him??? When in the books has he even tried to have sex with a woman? Like, if you want to argue that he has internalized misogyny because of his beauty standards thing, sure- I'll hear you out- but incel is a very specific brand of misogyny and it is pure headcanon if you want to call him that

And I kept seeing people bring up the getting black listed by matchmakers thing as proof he's an incel and like??? You know there's more possibilities for why he'd be undatable than just "being an incel," right? Like, maybe he's just loud and angry. Maybe he just jumps to conclusions during arguments. Maybe he just doesn't know how to drop grievances. Maybe he's just an equal opportunity asshole. Or maybe he's just an emotional constipated stick-in-the-mud. The possibilities are endless and acting like "he's an incel" is the canon answer is just clown behavior

[atom-writings]

Hello!! Can I request France, England and Germany with a s/o who is demissexual (you know, ace spectrum, need deep conection, takes a long time to want sex etc) and haven't had sex yet and feels very insecure?

(France, England, and Germany X Reader) Demisexual S/O!

(Gender Neutral) Headcanons ~ A/N sorry this is shorter its very specific. Anyway happy pride month any queer related requests r gonna get fufilled first for a while!!!

Trigger Warning: Mentions of sexual subjects, but no real discussion.

This is absolutely NO problem for Francis. He is like, the number one boundary respecter. Before he initiates any physical contact, even little things like holding your hand, he asks for your permission. And if you say no, there are no questions asked. He would NEVER ask anything of you that you don’t 100% want.

Once you tell him about your insecurities, he freaks out. His beloved? Feeling bad for doing nothing wrong? No! Not on his watch! Anytime you bring up feeling you missed the time were it was acceptable to have a first time, he’s immediately batting that thought down and insisting that “he’s been around for thousands of years, he knows a little more about acceptable timeframes.” Whenever you feel especially ‘broken,’ he’s there to hold you close and whisper affirming words all night. Your sexuality and your experiences with it say nothing about your character! Feeling safe and comfortable is more important than doing what society expects of you! He loves you no matter what.

He’s totally willing to lay his dignity down on the line to defend you about that too. If someone made fun of you for being a virgin, he is totally willing to shout, “I WAS VIRGIN UNTIL 121 SO IF YOU’RE TEASING ONE OF US, TEASE ME!” which is… embarrassing for the both of you, but it’s better than nothing. Also, anyone trying to say demisexuality is invalid is getting a death glare as he physically moves you away from them.

Arthur has always had problems with that kind of intimacy, so it’s quite a relief to him that you aren’t super into it. He’s perfectly happy with the way things are now, don’t worry. Take as much time as you need.

He might be a little surprised when you tell him you’re a virgin, but he doesn’t judge you at all! No matter how old you are! It doesn’t change how he sees you in the slightest. If anything, it’s a good thing. It means you haven’t been comfortable doing that and haven’t forced yourself to. Which is great! It’s a little embarrassing, but he’s always been quite… promiscuous… and that’s often gotten him into pretty terrible situations. He’s glad you haven’t had to deal with all that.

Despite the fact that he is godawful at communication, he wouldn’t pressure you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. Even if he doesn’t understand, he won’t say anything about it (well, anything more than an “oh. ok!”)

Also, he’s known plenty of people throughout history that barely had sex. It’s totally normal. Anyone saying that demisexuality is a new concept is dead wrong.

Personally, I strongly believe that Ludwig is on the asexual spectrum himself! But regardless of whether that exactly is true, he has no problem with a relationship that lacks that aspect. It’s quite hard for him to get comfortable around anyone, so he’ll need as much time as you do anyway.

Seriously, don’t feel bad about still being a virgin. He was a virgin for a long, long time (longer than you’ve been alive, probably) and his life changed very little because of it. It’s always better to be sure you want something rather than just doing it because of social pressure.

Everyone has their timeline <3 Like, he didn’t learn to read until he was like, 20, but would you hold that against him? No. So don’t feel guilty for not experiencing that yet.

He won’t ask you anything about it either. Only if you come to him first asking for it will he ever initiate anything like that. Holding hands and staring deeply into each other's eyes satisfies him perfectly. (He was raised Catholic, cut him a break.)

And if anyone tries to invalidate your sexuality, he can always pull the “I’m hundreds of years old and have been experiencing this kind of thing the whole time. You’re just ignorant” card. He’s very happy to!

[snek-eyes]

Hi Vee! How are you? I hope you had a great start into the new year 🥳

I have a meta question! I'm not very good at comprehending stuff sometimes, so it might be a dumb question but alas. I'm ace, so it really bothers me not to know which is why I think you could help.

When Shax dresses up as hitchhiker and talks to Aziraphale on the way from Scottland, she says she's bemused as to why Crowley would risk destruction for him because "you don't seem his type at all". Does she mean judging by Crowley's looks and coolness and so on or does she mean Crowley had other lovers before and Azi doesn't fit in with them? The latter would bug me ngl, I'm the kind of romantic who even wants that kiss we saw to be the first kiss for both of them 😅 And then again Neil said that they can still be ace because the kiss was romantic but there is "no evidence for sexual relations" between Crow and Azi which then must include that of course there are also no hints that they've ever been involved with others...right? (I'm ace and I'm aware aces can have sexual relations if we want to but I think since Neil says they can be ace because there's no evidence of that, it means he includes those of our community repulsed by sex, too.)

I'd love if you could shed some light on the matter 😄

Cheers!

- 💫

Hey, happy new year! ✨🎉

So first, to actually answer your question, I think Shax in the car is just trying to rattle Aziraphale, like she does later in the bookshop by calling him Crowley's emotional support angel—except the one in the car doesn't work because Aziraphale's not going to be made to feel too lame to be Crowley's type, pfft. He's confident by this point that he very much *is* Crowley's type, even if they haven't acknowledged it.

Secondly: IMO, one of the funnest things about shipping Aziraphale and Crowley is how versatile they are. The only thing for certain is they, against all odds, have become each other's most important person. What exactly that means is pretty open to interpretation. All that to say, if you think they're Ace or even Aro, absolutely rock on!

I have a great appreciation for how Neil keeps emphasizing that canon is only whatever's "on the page," (or on the screen, in this case), and whatever he or anyone else might say outside of that technically doesn't count. He and Terry wrote these characters, but ultimately, they aren't real people with a real tangible history. The gaps in canon are free real estate for the viewers to respond to and mentally fill in.

There seems to be nothing in canon that says either of them have kissed anyone before—or that they haven't. Sex is always going to be part of shipping culture in one way or another, but just because someone might interpret Shax's statement to mean that Crowley's had lovers before doesn't mean you're not just as free to believe that was their first kiss with anyone ever. Even if interpretations contradict, both are technically headcanon and can be equally valid until something in the show itself says otherwise. Have fun!

[Personally: I love Ace AC! It's actually my interpretation of canon. I'm also on team "neither had ever kissed anyone" because that just feels like it makes sense, both for their characters and frankly that's how it feels like David and Michael acted it (those two men know how to kiss, if they wanted it to feel like something other than 'desperately attempting something both of them had only seen before' they would have).

But reading fics where they're *not* that can be fun too, even if I personally don't think they were actually making out just offscreen this whole time. I've read and enjoyed fics I thought were blatantly out of character, but still told me a good story. And man, I will never forget feeling like an absolute king on AO3 in the months after I watched s1, putting in whatever combination of tags I was in the mood for and finding piles of gold.]

[olderthannetfic]

I’ve been lurking here for a while now and I just gotta say this. There’s this constant undercurrent argument about lgbtq/cis harassment. LGBTQ anons and commenters describing how they’re harassed for their lgbtq headcanons, and cis anons and commenters describing how they’re harassed for their cis headcanons and it often seems neither side fully accepts the reality of the other.

Let me start by saying that historically, of course it is the lgbtq side that has had it much worse in terms of suppression and harassment. There’s no question about that and anyone denying that is dreaming.

The thing is, in this current climate, no one has it better. Both sides are right and both sides are wrong. It all depends where you choose to share your headcanons and content. On Reddit for example, lgbtq headcanons and fan content will get a lot of abuse, on Tumblr, cis headcanons and content gets harassment and let’s not pretend otherwise. Both sides face unwanted interactions and bullying and saying that getting shit for cis headcanons and content doesn’t matter because historically they’ve had it too good…excuse me, but two wrongs don’t make a right.

The ones harassing lgbtq members of fandom are toxic, conservative and incel types. The ones harassing cis members are the militant, vocal minority of the lgbtq community. Let’s not pretend that the average teenage girl/boy who just wants to doodle their favourite ship after school is the one hurling abuse. It’s coming from people with extreme views and they’re present on both sides.

The problem comes from two things. Firstly, where you post about your headcanons. I post m/f fan content and on some platforms it’s very well received, on others not so much. Secondly, there are many people who, either through plain ignorance or wilful stupidity, equate people not explicitly agreeing with their headcanons or content as a moral failing.

Antis do it. But proshippers do it too. I’ve seen plenty of subtle and not so subtle examples from anons and commenters here.

Let me be frank. Many cis people are not interested in lgbtq headcanons. They just aren’t. It is not their experience. They can’t relate to it. It isn't a sign of phobia or hate. Just like I’m sure many lgbtq people are not particularly interested cis/hetero headcanons. And let me very clear I am talking about HEADCANONS ONLY here. Personally, I’m not interested in seeing posts describing in detail why a character from X anime is gay/lesbian/bi/trans/pan/ace etc when it has never been officially confirmed. I am not interested in reading HEADCANONED m/m, f/f or other lgbtq fanfic or seeing that fanart. If you like that sort of thing, fantastic. You do you. I, personally, do not care about or spend time thinking about characters' sexualities beyond canon. Conor and Oliver from ‘How To Get Away With Murder’? Adorable. Soojong and Taehoon from ‘An Innocent Sin’? Compelling. Deku and Bakugo? Nope. Sherlock and Watson? No thanks. I’ll never see that as anything more than a wonderful friendship.

And the thing is, I’m sure there are people who will get really, really irrationally aggressive about me saying this. Who think that because I quietly have zero interest in and avoid lgbtq headcanons that that somehow makes me phobic or hateful towards the lgbtq community. And I have to say, what I enjoy in my fandom space has absolutely no bearing on what I do and how I treat people in real life, as hard as that is to believe for many active in fandom spaces. For some reason, it’s fiction is not the same as reality until you don’t engage with or produce fan content in the ‘right’ way.

Someone not interested in engaging with or supporting or even liking particular headcanons, no matter how popular they are, has nothing to say about their actual morals. Not being interested in and not hyping up this or that headcanon and instead producing content that's the opposite of a popular headcanon is not the same as actively hating a real life group of people. And I’m surprised I have to say this but I do.

I will march with and stand with whatever group is being unfairly treated, whether it’s based on class, sex, race or other and campaign for social and political change FOR REAL PEOPLE because that’s what actually matters. Just because I mute and block the m/m tag in my fandom doesn’t make me homophobic or hateful. You know why I block it? Because m/m does absolutely nothing for me, but more importantly, I’m in love with one of the main characters and seeing him romantically involved with anyone, girl or guy, makes me upset. So I block all romantic and shippy tags related to the character. Sometimes it’s just like that. It has nothing to do with being against the lgbtq community but for very strange and personal reasons. Or very benign reasons. Maybe people just don’t want to deal with sexuality discourse in their fandom space because it’s where they come to relax and forget about all political and social stuff and just shitpost memes.

Your headcanons are your headcanons and no one will take them away from you. Both cis and lgbtq sides get shit for their content from a vocal, toxic minority on different platforms these days and everyone needs to remember the old ‘Don’t like, don’t read.’ The more we keep going on about who has it worse, the more divisive fandom spaces will become, even worse than they are now.

--

I loathe headcanon posts in general, though I like well-supported meta essays.

[sweatshirt-ninja]

Okay, I haven’t been posting as of late because of personal things and the thing I am going to talk about. So, I normally try not to make posts like these, but I feel like I have the need to do so as I’ve seen backlash towards fellow Ninjago fans. Note, this is my own personal opinion and things I have personally witnessed about the topic I am going to say and in no way am I trying to say your opinions or experiences are wrong. Everyone is welcomed to have their own opinion on this matter, but I have noticed this being a an issue, not a big one, but still an issue within the community and I’d like to get it off my chest. I hope I’m not the only one that feels this way.

Anyway, I have noticed that some Ninjago fans tend to police other fans for how they headcanon the characters. It can be for many things like race, sexuality, gender identity, and the list goes on. Personally, I am someone who doesn’t care on how you view or headcanon the Ninja. I’m all for creative liberty and I want everyone to be free to express themselves, so if those means are through characters of your favorite show, then do it! Make those characters black, white, asian, mixed, gay, straight, ace, trans, cis, or whatever else! I love seeing everyone’s takes on our loveable ninjas. What I hate to see is policing and harassment. “Oh, you made X character black? Ew, they aren’t black! They’re white!” Or “Oh, you whitewashed x character? You’re racist.”

I’ve noticed this on many platforms that have the Ninjago Community and it makes me sick. Like, I get that this show’s setting is based upon asian culture, so many people view them as asian, which is very cool, then there are some who view them all as a mixed batch of races, which is also very cool. There is nothing wrong with viewing a character the way you see them and the setting of said show doesn’t have to influence that. It can if you want, but it doesn’t have to for others. This show is watched from all around the world, so there are going to be different takes and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’m sick of making it seem like it is. I’m sick of the racism, I’m sick of the policing, I’m sick of the hatred.

Sorry if I sounded harsh, but I’ve noticed this. I’ve been a long time fan like many. I watched this fandom grow and flourish. I hate seeing it go down this hill. Once again, this has been my own experiences and witnessing about the fandom. Others might have never seen this happen and that’s okay. Others probably have seen this and think completely differently from me and that’s okay too.

[zinkadear]

I'm sick of the drama regarding Senku's sexuality. I've been in the Dr.STONE fandom for a few years, mainly interacting with it on Twitter. I never saw all this discourse until coming to the section of the community that's on here, and it's partially ruined my enjoyment of the series.

I say this as someone who's aroace. I have absolutely no desire to be in a romantic or sexual relationship. Seeing Senku that way is completely valid, and I'm glad that he's good representation for our community.

But the people being hostile about anyone that ships him are really frustrating. You can dislike the idea, while being respectful of others' opinions. Calling us disgusting is ridiculous.

I've had to block so many people who act like this, not only for their rude behavior, but to prevent them from seeing my posts with Senku ships. It protects both of us.

Anyway, I wish people could be mature and accept that everyone sees things differently, and that it's okay to have different headcanons.

Besides, being aroace doesn't have to be one thing. There's a spectrum. I see Senku as gay, and still aroace in some capacity. I don't label what that is exactly because I'm not very familiar with all the types of aro/ace identities, but I acknowledge that he wouldn't be as quick to fall for someone as a non aro/ace person would.

There's absolutely no reason to be lashing out at others for portraying him differently than you. Now there are people being aphobic as well, which isn't cool either.

There was one post with someone talking about Senku being aroace, basically saying it's wrong to think otherwise. Then someone commented saying aroace people are freaks and not part of the LGBT community. It was all so depressing. 😞

I'm an aroace person who finds shipping extremely comforting, and my favorite characters are the ones I enjoy pairing up the most. I can't help that I like to see certain characters together. And what I enjoy takes nothing away from anyone's headcanon.

Like I said before, I see him as gay. But I'm perfectly happy for people who ship him with female characters. Good for them. Let them enjoy themselves, as long as they aren't being aphobic or homophobic to anyone.

(Not gonna bother tagging because I'm not trying to draw a bunch of attention and start more drama, but I felt like ranting.)

[beetlesacquired]

I posted 2,606 times in 2022

That's 501 more posts than 2021!

11 posts created (0%)

2,595 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@silvereddaye

@bi-wan

@theforceshallsetmefree

@unspuncreature

@inferior-fairy

I tagged 295 of my posts in 2022

#kenobi spoilers - 98 posts

#heather - 8 posts

#beetles writes things - 6 posts

#jen - 5 posts

#👀 - 3 posts

#mine - 3 posts

#the book of boba fett - 3 posts

#tbobf spoilers - 2 posts

#meltic - 2 posts

#fuck tampa - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#because there are scenes in tcw where shes cruel and brutal and thats because anakin has taught her that thats an okay way to treat people

I sent 1 gift in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Confused and intrigued by the sticky note I just found in my idea box that says "Obi-Wan and Anakin on a boat" and nothing else

2 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#4

I'm not generally one of the shippers who screams about subtext but literally? How was I supposed to see any of that as heterosexual

Happy pride

2 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

#3

I hope everyone talking about the vaderkin bisexual lighting knows that they're giving me war flashbacks to the klance days of tumblr

4 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

#2

Ship: DinLuke

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Summary:

Han gave him an unamused look and said through a mouthful of fries, “Go ask Djarin to kiss you if you’re so hot for it.”

“But-“ Luke began before he was cut off.

“No,” Han said. “You’re a pillow princess in the making, I swear. You like him, you’re sure he likes you, get up and go ask him out. Now, kid. Go.” Han shoved him, and when Luke didn’t budge, Han snatched his phone off the table. “You can have this back when you have a date.”

Luke pouted. “What if he says no?”

Leia plucked the phone from Han’s fingers and shoved it down the front of her shirt. She shrugged innocently. “Better give it your all then, lover boy.”

6 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Because I've been seeing some acephobia on my dash lately, I would like to, as someone who read Padawan myself, point out that Obi-Wan is canonically ace in that.

I would love it just as much if he were bi, but there's nothing to support that he is. A male character, Casul, hits on him. Obi-Wan turns Casul down. He expresses confusion regarding his sexuality, saying at first that maybe he wants to kiss everyone but settling afterwards on wanting to kiss no one. This is an extremely common feeling for ace people to have. Because we experience attraction to no one, it's easy to confuse that for attraction to everyone.

Obi-Wan is never shown anywhere to be bi. If you would like to headcanon him as bi, be my guest! But please please please stop erasing the fact that what that passage is really detailing is that he's ace. The asexual community almost never gets good quality representation. This is absolutely massive for us. Please stop misrepresenting that scene as him being bisexual.

72 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[on-stardust-wings]

Regarding the good omens post I do believe it's weird useless discourse, but also I cant help but get mad when I see someone say shit like "headcanoning Crowley and Aziraphale as anything other than men is homophobic and transphobic" like yes I've only seen it once and it had a bunch of reblogs but FUCK it's so tone deaf and chronically online that it ruined my day.

Absolutely weird useless discourse, yeah. It helps nobody. It achieves nothing. It just makes people mad at each other over... fictional characters.

The beauty of Good Omens is that especially Aziraphale and Crowley, both as individuals and concerning their relationship, are so easy to read into whatever suits you best. It's one thing that really spoke to me about its fandom, too, when I first came here, the way fans were happy to interpret them as gay men, as genderqueer, as trans, as ace, as so many things, and there was art and fic with it and it all happily coexisted. Like, last year it was normal and celebrated that you'd read one fic, be it canon or AU, where they're gay married and then another where they ace and in a QPR and then one where one of them is intersex and all of them were right and wow look at all our cool rep and the community and the love and acceptance we have for each other here. I loved that. It was such a welcoming place.

And, thing is, I think it still is. The majority of those people are still here. Gatekeepers are a small, loud minority in any community, and looking at the notes on my rant post... yeah, a large number of fans want to have this open to interpretation, this accepting culture around the show and the ship (and are still in fact living it, enjoying a variety of different queer readings of the show and book).

I agree with you, it's very tone deaf.

Also, a thing people forget about Good Omens is that it isn't a queer rep show. It's the adaption of a book, it's a story about averting Armageddon, about finding out who your friends are and where you belong and who you are and learning to do what is right by you own moral compass. It does Good Omens a great disservice to reduce it to "oh, it's queer". It includes queer coded characters. It includes queer themes. But they're not meant to be the core message. They're one element of the story among many. Good Omens is a very rich and nuanced narrative, and some of those nuances include genderless characters and characters in relationships that aren't straight.

But a number of people don't see themselves represented exactly the way they want to, either by Good Omens on its own or by Good Omens when comparing it to other things like Our Flag Means Death, and now they're unhappy about it (because they're hurting), and lashing out at everyone who likes the thing they don't like, not seeing that all it does is hurt other queer people. (I'm starting to be a little bit Internet Old, and this is such a common, sad pattern in online spaces for minorities, especially spaces that tend towards minority activism. It's true for queer spaces, for disability rights, for the fight against racism... A lot of us have been hurt in our lives, and continue to be hurt, and the hurt makes us defensive, and we lash out at each other instead of standing together against the actual problems. Fighting amongst ourselves weakens and distracts us, and leaves us with less energy to deal with the actual problems. ... Sorry for ranting.)

[kirisaki-daichi-scenarios]

a discussion of jabberwock with team interaction hcs + deeper nash analysis

for anon who asked "Can we get some headcanons for jabberwock members or like headcanons when they're together? (its okay if it was jason or nash only)" and made me realise it's about time i get these guys' personalities down

note before we start: cause i didn't know their names until i wrote this

zack is the bald one, allen is the one with a headband, nick is the other white guy apart from nash.

team hcs

nick gets bullied for being under 6ft, but not by jason

nah good old jason teases all of them for being short fucks, emphasising that they’re all 5ft tall in comparison to him

he 100% lifts things out of the others' reach and then laughs for ages after when they try get them

unfortunately though, they’re all used to this and now just ignore him. either that or nash stares at him so intensely jason actually repents and hands it back

zack’s another one with a very good glare, but he’s used it too often on jason and it’s since stopped working.

also jason gives me ‘straightens his back as much as possible when getting measured so he’ll measure in as 7ft’ vibes

oh and he thinks he could wrestle a gator and win. i’ve got no explanation for that except for the fact you can't tell me it's ooc.

allen’s very protective over his white headband - it’s his lucky item - but he’d never let anyone know that

he’s confident in his abilities like the rest of them, but there’s nothing wrong with wearing a headband just in case

(nash knows anyway)

they watch nba matches together and do not shut up once throughout the entire match - lots of jeering, booing each other if someone criticises a player they like, lots of “i could do that”, lots of “get your fucking hand out of my popcorn do you want me to punch you in the face” etc

they used to all live together, but nash has since moved out. he was sick and tired of trying to make people do chores, as the only one who kept their room clean.

yeah the others’ house looks like a heap of trash but also very much “where’s my toothbrush?” “it’s in the third coke can by the orange peel behind the sink” *silence* “yeah thanks” *a minute later* “who the fuck has been using my toothbrush”

they’re all “bro your dribbling sucks why are you on this team loser” to one another, but also very protective (aka arrogant for one another) if anyone else Dared to criticise one of their teammates

then again, what kind of person would criticise jabberwock

half of the time he spends with jabberwock, nash is a Single Mother TM trying to get a bunch of man children to behave; the other half of the time, he's just as bad as the rest of them

i talk about this a lot but i get the feeling nash is an exceptionally hard worker, but at least he gets to let his hair down around his teammates sometimes

nash is also the only person jason thought was truly ‘strong’ at first sight

and nash is also the only person who can beat jason in a fight, and also the only person who can get nash to train, and also the only person who can.. [etc. you see my point].

(n.b jason calls himself the ‘almighty me’, nash says that ‘even god can’t beat me’. point made.)

you know how jason silver’s motto is “I have never thought”

imagine him proudly stating that, before zack adds with a straight face, “yeah cause nash does it for you.”

in short, the team would fall apart without nash.

although the team’s communication and coordination is very fine tuned, nash is the guy who keeps everything in order off the court to prevent what is essentially a team of aces ('main characters', if you will) from falling apart

they hang out together a lot, but do all have other friend groups that do not overlap

team bbqs

unofficial rule not to criticise anchovies on pizza because the one time nick did, nash snapped

however pineapple on pizza is fair game, even though zack quite likes it

more than once, jason has brought a girl home and nick has stolen her attention away with effortless trick shots, funky ball manoeuvring etc

more than once nick has had to trek to nash’s place (with a black eye) at midnight to have somewhere to sleep

do you see a correlation?

oh and everyone in the team has been walked in on by nash when they were naked with some girl

nash has absolutely no shame

he apologises to the girl with a charming albeit insincere tone, and then remains standing in front of the bed/couch until his teammate does what he expected of them

usually it involves not having come to practice

allen learnt a few (emphasis on ‘few’) words of japanese before they travelled to japan and was disappointed that he never got to use them

that said, one of those words was hentai

and now a quick analysis of some panels

a) so there's at least one player who wasn't underestimating vorpal swords. if i were to overanalyse, i'd add that nick's wearing a hoodie (possibly athletic wear) whilst nash has a 'fancy' shirt on; perhaps nick wasn't expecting them to be going to host clubs instead of chilling/training?

b) i know what you're thinking: "how can you say nash is a hard worker when he didn't want to practice for the match". i reckon he was still pretty high on the complete and utter success of their previous match, that plus being around girls, encouraged him to have a more 'jason-y' personality. (either that or fujimaki didn't want to add too much depth/realism into nash's character bc he's unequivocally the villain, right? and obviously this helps with the plot and the jabberwock bad geniuses gom good geniuses rhetoric.)

earlier, i mentioned how nash is the only one that could keep the team together, and is thus the undeniable head of the team; here's a clear example. you can see both jason and zack have no interest in continuing - if anything, there's disgust in their faces, kinda just saying "we spat on all of japan, now we can go home". whereas nash won't allow for the slightest of possibilities that there might exist a team stronger than them, and hence agrees to the match. the key thing here is that the others do as he says without too much fuss.

another thing to note is nash's reference to harakiri. now what can we make of that, alongside his proficiency in japanese, in relation to his character? the way i see it, he's either a weeb or possibly has some japanese lineage. (you could spin that even further and say his mother was japanese, taught him the language, then abandoned him, and hence his almost excessive hatred/mockery of the japanese people.) (is that why he wanted to do another match in japan..?)

just a quick point. "thanks to him" - jason isn't so superior as to think that he could win this match effortlessly without nash's support. links pretty nicely with my earlier idea about how nash is the only person jason has always considered 100% strong.

yet another point about how nash is the strongest of the team in pretty much every way you can think of. you know how scary/powerful you have to be to shut jason up (after he's getting real pissed from being prevented from scoring?)

i personally think this is a pretty important panel, though i've never seen anyone mention it before. did nash grow up training in a professional basketball training situation, as opposed to growing up playing streetball like i suspect the others did? well, to answer that question, imma bring in another panel.

here we see visible rage on nick, zack and jason's faces - they can't accept their loss, which is fair enough. but i'd argue that nash's face seems to depict sadness more than it does anger like to rest of them, look at how downturned his mouth is - and he's looking away from the 'camera', as if hiding his shame.

when you combine that with what he says here, i have no doubt that this is someone who has experienced some proper lows in basketball - as would be expected from someone who's played 'properly'. he's possibly not even a prodigy like the rest of them - compare jason's motto with his. "i have never thought" versus "do not suppose opportunity will knock twice at your door".

there's various lines of thinking you could design with this - he might have been trained by alex (hence, himuro having heard of jabberwock, though he should have known of a team as popular of jabberwock regardless), he might have grown up with professional basketballer parents etc. but here's my own little theory:

nash received serious basketball training from early on - maybe because his parents were living vicariously through him, or maybe he always loved the sport and wanted to be no1. so there he was training away, but, as he grew older, it started getting all a bit too much.

he didn't want to dedicate his entire life to basketball. after all, his hobby is water sports and his speciality is boxing; that's a lot of different things to be keeping up with, whereas the pipeline for promising athletes demands people focus solely on basketball. as a result, nash become bitter: stopped attending practice regularly, got in trouble for trash talk of increasing severity, etc.

result was he was kicked out of the program.

only when he was no longer playing basketball again, did he realise how much he missed it. and hence he got into streetball, where he was tremendously successful as someone with so much training, 'elite skills', and the overly confident attitude to boot.

then, one fateful day, he met jason and the rest is history.

[srrrokka]

My dude that post on gatekeeping aceness is not it chief. OP isn’t trying to say sex repulsed is the default, it’s just so tiring to see your identity portrayed One Way or just flat out ignored. You can’t support ace people then tell us we’re wrong when we speak up on how we feel or how we’re portrayed/treated in fandom (or non fandom) spaces.

Hi! I'm going to preface this by saying that the following answer is in good faith and not angry at all. I actually like discussing stuff like that! I find how others view and experience the world very fascinating. So here we go:

I do understand your take and I do absolutely respect people interpreting characters whichever way they want as well as the importance of representation. But so it happens that I am also ace and the whole "speaking up" made me on many occasions want to cry and quit using tumblr altogether. It made me feel like I am told that the way I understand by own sexuality is wrong and bad, which as you can imagine is not the greatest message to get from "ace defenders".

See, OP does have a valid point but I think that being angry with how others want to do their own stories is not the way to go. Be the change you want to see in the world — make your own stories, art, etc, commission others to do it a certain way or suggest it when they have requests open — but don't push others down because you don't know who they are and how they experience what they see, yk? (Note: I'm not saying specifically that OP is attacking anyone because they clearly are not, they are mad at the whole phenomenon. But it happened many times before that people were aggressive and calling out/vague blogging about others in reference to the portrayal of that particular character. That being said, that post did call me aphobic so I'm a little offended about that one.)

From my ace side:

I personally find people aesthetically pleasing but not sexually attractive. Like it boggles my mind you can meet someone at a bar or sth and be like "I want to bang this person later tonight." At best I'd want to be friends.

But, while the concept of horizontal tango with anyone other than my significant other (which nota bene is super rare in the first place) repulses me INCREDIBLY, I love fictional smut of any kind because it isn't me and it's not happening in real life (and by the latter I mean it's not visually or tactilely realistic like for example porn videos are).

I like experiencing in fiction what I won't in real life. But I also like NOT experiencing things in fiction that I experience too much in real life. For example I often want to completely distance myself from the whole gender-sexuality stuff because I have to do with it too much and nothing being mentioned about any of that is actually quite nice.

In the same vein I personally find it unnecessary to specify someone's sexuality if it's not relevant to the story. For me it doesn't matter if a character is a gay/lesbian/ace/aro/straight/[inset your choice] if it's, let's say, no-romance, no-smut coffee shop AU about friendship that doesn't delve deeper into character design. I don't need it. A person is a person and I don't need a confirmation to headcanon whatever I want. And even if there is smut with an ace character, I know this character is ace regardless of the portrayal so it doesn't really grate on me at all.

BUT! That is my own personal preference. And I absolutely support you having your own preference! Just don't tell me mine is wrong.

This post is a good example of just that but within the trans community:

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/srrrochka/667903163349843968

tl;dr of this rambling is: you do you, funky lil ace! but also let me do me, another funky lil ace! peace, love, and plants

[inevitably-johnlocked]

People complaining about 'queer baiting' when they ought to be more concerned about the amount of fetishisation that occurs when people ship two men lol

Hey Nonny,

I’m gonna assume you’re not trying to be a dick, and are coming from a good place, though you taking the time out to put this ask in a weird serif font is leaving me wondering if you’re trying to stand on a soapbox, but I’m going to ignore that for now, and I ask anyone replying to this post to please also grant that same respect. I only wish to educate, learn, and interact, after all. 

I get what you’re trying to say re: queerbaiting, I really do. And fetishization is a problem, I agree. 

Let’s tackle the queerbaiting first.

Let it be known to you that a large majority of the people calling “queerbaiting” are queer people and academics. I know the false stigma that “fandom is full of stupid little girls” still exists and is something that, quite frankly, this ask is implying and therefore helping to perpetuate. It’s not. Honestly, with this take you have here, you’re disregarding and invalidating the feelings of millions of other queer people who genuinely feel when something is queerbaiting because it’s something they have experienced over and over and OVER again and media just “LOL OOPS SORRY WON’T DO IT AGAIN”. 

Disney is a perfect example of this. How many “first LGBT characters” has Disney had now? At least one a year for the past decade.

Listen, the people who initially called it out years ago for Sherlock were older folks who have lived decades of media constantly teasing gay relationships and then not following through with it at the end... literally “baiting” queer people to watch their shows because more people = more money.

Anyway, Gattiss confirmed he used homoerotic subtext to bait people, so I don’t know what else to say on this matter. That link also has some additional articles and sources that came out regarding the queerbaiting aspect of Sherlock, and they’re all good reads, so I do recommend checking them out.

Some other interesting reads, if only so you can gain some empathy for the others who DO see it as queerbaiting:

Gender and Queer Fan Labour on Tumblr: The Case of BBC’s Sherlock (Webarchive link, so give it a few to load)

The Elephant in the Room: Authorship, Queerbaiting and Sherlock

Queerbaiting in Sherlock 

PODCAST: Queerbaiting in Sherlock

From Queer Reading to Queerbaiting - DiVA Portal

And as I’ve mentioned in past posts, I personally believe Sherlock IS queerrbaiting WITHOUT a confirmation in S5. They had the chance to stop it in S3, and instead they ramped it up. And yes, if you only watch Sherlock and omit S3 and TAB completely, I can see the queerbaiting argument null and void. But instead they made the episode that John was supposed to be getting married the gayest episode in the whole series, next to TAB. So I dunno, my friend.

Now, I shall discuss the very thin line of fetishization vs shipping.

I am not a professional AND I am a fairly recently-realized member of the LGBT community, so I don’t feel it’s my place to tell you what’s what. 

There’s a really interesting Tumblr post by LGBT+ Weekly about this very thing that I think offers a “both sides” approach: Shipping and queer fetishization. And this interesting and on-point post here: About Fandom, Slash, and Fetishizing Gay Men.

From here, I can only offer my opinion, not fact, and I am open to being educated. 

Yes, absolutely some people fetishize LGBT relationships. I’m NOT going to say there aren’t. But a majority of people ship ANY ship because it helps them understand themselves. It’s just that simple, and to tell someone that them shipping characters is bad / no good / fetishization can be harmful to them and make them fear “being gay”. Shipping characters is a way of disconnecting themselves from, well, themselves, and it’s a “safe place” to “come out” or discover themselves.

To me, you’re breaking down fetishization as “I like reading about two people fucking” and nothing beyond that, and not taking into account that many people like a pairing because of chemistry, or because someone sees themselves in a character and are exploring their own sexuality through it. If that’s the case, then I guess all M/F ships are are fetishizations? Why is it only M/M that people decry “fetishization”, when F/F is apparently not (clarification: it totally can also be)? So, is me liking Johnlock any different than my Zutara ship? Why? 

Plus, the reason so many people ship M/M ships is because there’s just SO MANY MALE CHARACTERS ON ANY GIVEN SHOW. 

I get what you’re trying to say, Nonny, I really do. And I know the definition of fetish. But AGAIN, these are characters, not real people, and you’re disregarding other aspects of shipping. Not everyone reads smut to get off. And even if they did, why is that so bad for some people? Personally, I read it because I enjoy reading stories about my favourite characters enjoying being together. I enjoy the dynamic, the possibilities, the chemistry and the love. That it’s never too late to find your person. That two broken souls can help heal each other.

Anyway, TL;DR of all this is: 

YOUR experience is NOT someone else’s experience. 

You didn’t see Sherlock as queerbaiting? Fine, but please understand there’s a reason so many other people DO and it’s not just fandom saying it. The general audience also has said it’s queerbaiting.

You see shipping as fetishization? Okay, and that’s fine. Your definition of fetishization means fictional people having sex, I guess. Maybe I’m just genuinely naïve, but... isn’t that kind of... TERF-y or homophobic? I mean... many people use same-sex shipping and assorted headcanons to help them understand themselves and their sexuality. And why is M/F shipping NOT fetishization, given the broad definition you’re implying by your ask? And I don’t want to get too deep into asexuality, but read up on aegosexuality. Are you then saying aces are fetishists too? Seems like aces can’t enjoy anything, I guess.

They’re fictional characters. Not real people.

Look, I’m stupid and naïve, I get that. And if I have the wrong take here, I’m genuinely interested in hearing your respectful thoughts, along with other people’s. Just, please respect and understand that everyone is not YOU. It’s rather selfish to think that your experiences are everyone else’s, if I’m being honest.

I’m not asking for you to “see my side of things”, just to have a bit of empathy, is all. It can go a long way in a world where just being who you are can get you killed. Fandom and shipping is an escape for a lot of people, because reality is a cruel son of a bitch.

All this said, Nonny, I just want you to be safe and healthy. If discussions of shipping and queerbaiting bother you, please black list the tags, get out of fandom, and please take care of yourself.

[novaliae]

hey mcytblr (and by mcytblr i mean my two followers who like mcyt), let’s talk about aphobia

recently aphobia has been rearing its ugly head on mcyttwt and elsewhere in the fandom. it started with this clip of phil responding to a dono about whether he’s okay with fans headcanoning c!phil and c!techno as a qpr (queerplatonic relationship). transcript of the clip:

dono: are you okay with people portraying you and techno’s characters as qprs? qprs are platonic life partners. it’s an argument in the fandom.

phil, over the last sentence of the dono: i don’t give a shit. i—i just don’t give a shit.  it’s headcanons; it’s not real.

(it’s my first time doing transcripts of things so i hope i did it right)

unfortunately, this led to problematic shippers claiming their romantic headcanons or fancontent was actually a qpr. the most blatant include a tweet from a t*chza artist depicting phil and techno kissing with the caption “besties” and replies full of people mocking qprs (ie qrting the art and adding “i love queerplatonic relationships”). the implications, of course, are that people who hc c!phil and c!techno or any other duo in a qpr are just closet problematic shippers, and that qprs don’t exist by extension. and naturally, twitter being twitter, this has spiraled into a whole lot of “aphobia doesn’t exist” and “aces/aros aren’t oppressed” and a bunch of other all-around nastiness/anti-ace sentiment.

let’s unpack this.

first of all, what is aphobia, and what are qprs? if you haven’t heard of it before, aphobia is the discrimination against or invalidation of people on the aromantic or asexual spectrums. people on these spectrums do not experience romantic/physical attraction or may only do so only in certain circumstances. this means that aspec people often do not end up in a “traditional” romantic partnership, especially if they identify as aroace (both aromantic and asexual; aroaces experience little to no sexual and romantic attraction). aspec people will sometimes instead be in a queerplatonic relationship. a queerplatonic partner, or qpp, is most often described as a platonic soulmate/platonic life partner, and is someone with whom you form an intense emotional bond (something beyond traditional friendship) that is inherently nonsexual and nonromantic. the most common dsmp fandom interpretations of queerplatonic relationships are c!beeduo, who are platonically married in canon, and c!emeraldduo, who are the subject of the dono phil received.

ace and aro people are constantly invalidated and forced to justify their ace/aro-ness. we hear all the time that being aspec isn’t really a thing or that we’re confused and don’t know what we actually feel. by implicitly stating that qprs are not legitimate or that they’re romantic relationships in disguise, aphobes a) imply that ace or aro people with queerplatonic partners are actually in a romantic relationship but won’t label it like that because of stubbornness/stupidity/lack of understanding, and b) push the notion that deep and lasting connections cannot exist beyond romantic/sexual partnerships. which. is absolute bullshit and blatant aphobia.

cuddling, holding hands, and kissing on the cheek/forehead (behaviors often part of queerplatonic relationships) are not inherently sexual/romantic. let me say this again for the aphobes in the back. cuddling, holding hands, and kissing on the cheek/forehead are not inherently sexual/romantic behaviors. they are things that sexual/romantic couples may do, but they can also be integral parts of relationships that aren’t based around that sort of thing, like friends and families and yes, queerplatonic partnerships. when fans create art of qpps holding hands or fics where they cuddle and bump foreheads, they are not meant to be interpreted as shipping. i know i’ve said these words so much they’ve stop sounding like actual things, but implying otherwise is amatonormative and is aphobic.

by writing off all queerplatonic partnerships as shipping, or hell, even close platonic ones that aren’t explicitly labeled as queerplatonic, you are erasing a massive facet of the ace community while continuing to conform to an incredibly rigid and liner mindset about what attraction is/isn’t. nothing is more invalidating to an ace or aro person than claiming something they do is sexual/romantic when it clearly isn’t meant to be interpreted that way. we have made it clear that what we feel (or don’t feel), and you are blatantly ignoring that. you are repeating the same old tired stereotype that aspec people do not really exist and we’re only confused or too afraid to confront our “actual sexualities.” stop sexualizing queerplatonic relationships or turning them into something they’re not. qprs are not the next “just gals being pals,” they’re just aspec people trying to exist and sick of having to constantly justify their existence.

i could do a whole other post about exclusionist arguments i saw in some of the tweet’s replies like “aspec people aren’t really oppressed” and “aphobia doesn’t exist,” and maybe i will later on, but this is primarily about the general mockery made of qprs on twitter.

stop belittling ace people. stop mocking qprs. i am sick and tired of the aphobia/amatonormativity in this fandom. let’s be better than this.

please reblog and raise awareness!

[nonbinaryresource]

hi. i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work? i’m trans and when i listened to this artist’s work (harry styles - she & fine line) i connected with the songs immediately? i found a lot of people in the community who too connected to the songs and interpreted the lyrics as a struggle with one’s gender identity. at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong, but then after reading master posts i discovered that he constantly portrays gender in his work (using the trans flag on his album cover; being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.) and now i’m really confused. it feels comforting as a fan to relate to him and i, and a lot of other fans from the community, sometimes refer to him with he/she/they instead of he/him (he never said his pronouns are he/him). is that wrong? every time my (trans) friends and i refer to him with pronouns other than he/him or tell people not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that, other (usually cis. a trans fan called me transphobic and told me to stop seeking validation from cis white men.) fans will start calling us transphobic and delusional and attacking us to the point we had anxiety attacks over it? i’m just really confused right now. i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong. i’m not out to anyone irl and sometimes i wish people caught on to the little things i do and recognise that i am part of the community. i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

he has previously said that there are no lines between what's masculine and what's feminine for him anymore. i'm sorry this is so long and thank you

(You also sent in the song lyrics - thanks for the easy reference! - but I’m clipping those for length reasons.)

Disclaimer before I dig in: I am not a Harry Styles stan, I know very little about him, most of what I am going to say specifically about him is stuff I researched about specifically to answer this ask. I want to speak mostly generally to your question.

Okay, so you posed a pretty succinct, straight forward question. “i wanted to ask whether or not it’s ok to take comfort in a person that has not officially come out as trans but has included many forms of gender expression in their work?“ However, there’s also a lot of context to this ask that makes things not so straight forward, and there are several distinct issues touched upon here I want to delve into. But it seems a good a starting place as any to start with the direct question you asked.

Yes, of course it’s okay to find your own meaning in art and role models and relate to art your way from your perspective based on your experience. In fact, that’s nearly the entire purpose of art! And it makes sense too, that we as social creatures would look up to and be inspired by celebrities, artists, mentors, role models, etc. Feeling connected to and less alone because someone in the spotlight plays with gender presentation like you might or want to makes a lot of sense!

However, we have to remember that A) sometimes art is just art, and B) someone being in the spotlight doesn’t mean we actually know or understand them or are/should act familiar with them.

As an example, a couple years back, Will Jay released a song called “Never Been in Love” that pretty much exploded with aros and aces and became a bit of an anthem for a lot of us. Many wondered if he was aspec himself and there was a lot of queries about it (and I saw quite a few blogs reminding folk that they were allowed to relate to the song even if it meant something different to Will Jay or he wasn’t actually aspec). Earlier this year, he released the song “Lies” where he admits that he was writing songs he thought people would relate to and he actually had been in love even before writing “Never Been In Love”. That should do nothing to diminish how meaningful the song was to people, though! If we related to the song, we related to the song, and if it was meaningful and made us feel seen and understood, that’s great! A lot of times, art is personal, but sometimes art is just an exploration.

This concept applies even more to people themselves. It is soooo easy to idolize and romanticize people you’ve never actually met and really only see the persona they want you to see. Yes, they share personal information with the world and they experience a general lack of privacy that makes you feel like yeah, you really know who they are. But how can you really, personally, intimately know someone without interacting with them, chatting with them, getting to know them one on one? It’s fine to have role models and feel represented by and relate to a celebrity - just do not lose sight of the fact that what you’re feeling is personal feeling on your own end. It’s not something that this celebrity has actually built with you.

To put this another way: it is fine to headcanon fictional characters, but it’s not okay to headcanon real people.

Now, what I’m building up to here is that there are a lot of assumptions I am seeing - from both sides - that we cannot truly know because all we know is what Harry [or anyone] chooses to share with us. I’d like to break this down by going through some specific points.

at first i was against calling harry trans because i thought it was wrong

Okay, there are two sides to this.

1) It is wrong to apply a gender label/descriptor to someone without their permission.

2) In a cisnormative society, “cis” is the default gender label/descriptor to apply to everyone, and that’s equally wrong, so I get why it feels like a rebellion of the system to go “well, there are Reasons they could be trans, so I’m just going to go ahead and call them trans”.

We should get away from automatically labeling everyone as “cis”. However, the way we fix this isn’t to just decide we get to apply whatever label/descriptor to someone we want.

If someone hasn’t clarified or specified their gender (and you can’t/it isn’t a good or safe idea to ask them), it’s the safest bet to go by what they seem to be majority being called or what you can find of them referring to themself as.

In some cases, when someone seems to be specifically avoiding labeling themselves or uncomfortable with labeling themselves, it may be most comfortable for you to also avoid labeling them just as much as possible.

being ok with his friends referring to him with she/her, miss, ‘sue’ instead of ‘harry’, and sis; his obsession with babies and especially wanting to get pregnant; relating himself only to female artists; etc.)

It’s worth considering - is this something for friends only? Or is it open to fans and other public sectors?

Usually if something is for friends only, it’ll be kept out of public eye, but if only friends are doing this, is this something that is only being shared with you or is it something you’re entitled to as well?

Aaaaaaaaalso, it has to be pointed out that it’s binarist and cisnormative in it’s own way to equate different names/pronouns automatically with being trans or being a specific trans identity. Wanting to get pregnant? Do you know how many cis women I’ve heard go on and on about wanting a penis so they can pee standing up (like... all of them anytime we’re outside or camping)? Plenty of cis people use pronouns you might not expect! You don’t have to be trans/nonbinary to use multiple or ‘atypical’ pronouns. Cis people are allowed to use other pronouns as well! They’re allowed to have names typically associated with other genders! Not all gender nonconforming or genderqueer people/people queering gender are trans! Not everybody exploring their gender nor gender presentation is trans!

not to assume he’s cis as he never specified that

It’s great to not assume someone is cis! But that doesn’t automatically make them trans.

i don’t want to misgender anyone but i don’t understand why relating to someone who, from their actions, could be part of the community is wrong.

Do you specifically, absolutely need to gender someone in order to relate to them?

i don’t understand why people keep shutting down the idea the harry could be trans when he never said he was cis and was ok being referred to as she.

I’ve only recently seen a tiny bit of this ‘discourse’ around on twitter, but what I see is a few issues/points:

A) It’s not up to us to claim someone as trans if they have not come out as trans. Coming out is an extremely personal choice and should be up to each individual. “Claiming” them is basically dragging them into something that very well may be not theirs. And if it is theirs, why would you want to steal that moment of getting to determine and declare that away from them?

B) We are all so done with cis, able-bodied white folk being prioritized above the rest of the queer community!!! There are actual, legitimate, out trans people that can be your trans role models and they’re being shoved to the back of the closet in favor of a privileged, white Schrödinger’s Trans. Let’s uplift our actual community instead of getting stuck on someone who may or may not be a part of community - and may not even want to be a part of it!

All that being said, I do want to say something really quickly on Harry himself because it ties back into the assumptions we’ve been talking about. Harry’s sexuality has long been a question on fans and journalists minds, and Harry has pretty consistently made it clear that he’s not really interested in labels or boxes. Harry’s gender is not something that has been asked about, talked about, or answered on much. And his comment on masculinity and femininity? Let’s remember that, like pronouns, masculinity and femininity don’t automatically or inherently relate to one specific gender or not. And, quite frankly, it is faucet of toxic masculinity and cissexism to equate a gnc man/man in a dress with being trans. Men are allowed to wear dresses and makeup and heels! Men are allowed to be soft and nurturing and to cry! Cis or trans, men are allowed to be these things, and arguing that they’re trans simply for doing or being any of these does continue to enforce dangerous and strict views of the gender binary.

Okay, it feels like I kinda put you through the wringer, so I want to go back and reiterate: it is 100% valid to relate to and feel connected to/inspired by someone on the basis of their presentation and gender exploration. It is not valid to claim ownership over their identity because of this. It is possible for two people to experience same or similar things and yet come to different conclusions about themselves!

If Harry Styles as an icon is important to you, I’m glad you can have that! But not everyone will or has to share your connection, and the only one actually qualified to speak on Harry’s gender is Harry himself. Harry could be trans, but it’s his right and his right only to claim that label. Any assuming we do is just that: an assumption. And I want you to be careful with your own feelings getting too attached to the image of Harry you’ve built up in your own head only to potentially have them shattered if Harry decides to speak on things and it turns out his feelings don’t mean what you thought.

Your identity is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. You feeling validated and seen and represented by Harry’s actions is valid regardless of how Harry Styles feels or identifies. It’s great to have role models and be inspired by people, but remember that at the end of the day, you need to be able to rely on yourself to keep up your ego and determine your sense of self.

~Pluto

[divagonzo]

Little bit of Ace History***

... for those who are doing headcanons for Pride month.

*** History being from the last generation. So... recent history.

***************

While Asexual was in the grad school text books, it was, as a queer orientation, on the fringes for considerably longer than Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Trans. It wasn’t spoken of except in queer spaces and even then, it was more of an after-thought. Like the Mesopotamians (and Mayans independently) - people couldn’t and, somewhat, can’t fathom those who don’t feel sexual attraction (or those who don’t feel romantic attraction or some who have no attraction romantically or sexually.)

Since society is built on populations, the presumption that everyone wants sex or engages in it and those who don’t are aberrant - is a hindrance to those of us who don’t feel it (or, like some, like the idea in theory but not in practice, or those who it’s once in a lifetime (my spouse) or those who have to know someone for a long period of time before thinking, “Would I consider getting physical with them?” (aka Me!) or those who have sexual repulsion - and they are as valid as anyone else under the Asexual spectrum umbrella.)

Asexual was, originally, under the Bisexual umbrella - and like many Bi people of the earlier eras (and sadly still happening) being told they aren’t queer enough for A) The community and B) not Gay enough to be included. (Hence my absolute loathing to gatekeepers for having gone through it back in the early 90s!) Toss in the derision towards bi/pan people who “are selfish/greedy/can’t make up their mind / teases / etc” and you have a boiling pot of potential gatekeeping, especially for those who could really use some informational resources so they know that they aren’t broken & nothing is wrong with how they are.

Yes, Asexual was listed on the fringes but it wasn’t until the early Naughts that the word even made it to notice - much less being more accepted openly. But the biggest kicker is that while being Gay was removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Model (what is used by American Psychiatry for diagnosing not normal behavior) in 1973..... being Asexual wasn’t removed until 2013.

Yes, you read that right. 2013. The first published college text on Asexuality wasn’t published until 2012 - and written from a heterosexual white male perspective (and it’s a bit rubbish by comparison to casual anecdotes from those in the community and on AVEN. I know. I bought the book and read it.) While the elderly spinster dowager is more socially acceptable, being a man/male and being Ace in a society that says that men have to be hypersexual.... is harmful to them, too, especially when they are too hindered to be able to come out and say, “I don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone.”

Having no sexual attraction to others was considered aberrant behaviors. And for some, it still is, especially those who think that Ace people (and Aros too, y’all aren’t being forgotten!) should be sexually available to anyone and everyone - and some sods think that the attitude of “You’ve not met the right one” or “I’ll f* you to fix you” is helpful and not actively oppressive or harmful.

Obviously (insert professional quality eyeroll here) people need medications because they don’t want to f* every walking human who passes by - which is toxic even in a hypersexual society. There must be something wrong with them if they aren’t out at a bar looking for a casual hook-up / one night stand.

<shudder>

Why do I bring this up?

I read a posting and it mentioned a fictional character being out as AroAce in 1994.

Jessica Rabbit was a thing back in 1988. But the terms for her besides the negative ones weren’t there ‘til a decade later, if not longer.

While I love the idea that this knowledge was available in the era, I have to take Umbridge (while not detracting from their post) that this is vastly incorrect and harmful to those of us who lived through this era and struggled for decades (yes, I said decades) to know that being Ace is fine and dandy. It’s hard to research harder when you don’t even know a starting point to go look this information up - especially when it was mostly limited to just blooming Queer studies courses in colleges and everything was either published journals or hidden inside academic speak of graduate schools. (I took a couple of undergrad psychology classes and I went back and looked and the terms weren’t even in the books. This was 1995, for those in Rio Linda and Blackpool.)

There’s plenty of my peers who are just now coming to understand that the feelings of dissociation, loathing, guilt, apathy aren’t because they are with the wrong person. It’s performative behavior towards others and personally harmful. It’s letting people f* you so they are content when it’s personally harmful (especially if consent isn’t completely clear.

What would have been said in 1994 was that “he must be gay” even if he was dating a girl and nothing was happening physically. “She must be his beard” would have been said too if performative behaviors weren’t happening. Why? Because being Asexual wasn’t a thing in the era AT ALL. It wasn’t even considered.

Hell, even now there are people*** who will not believe you when you say that you don’t want to have sex - as men or women or non-binary. No, they must fix  you by non-consenting means & their warped logic for the resultant trauma will magically make you want to have sex with people.

Ewwww. Hell no.

I have someone I know who has been repeatedly subjected to their consent being violated when they said no - because they are Ace and people (both of the binary for this person) refused to take No for an answer and.... well, you can fill in the blanks.

Or the not funny bits of “Oh you must be a potato” and other derision of you not being potentially sexually available for other people. This especially goes for those who are Heteroromantic Ace people - like family I have.

I was the first one they came out to, because I’ve been pretty loud about it in SM spaces. They felt safe to say such to me, especially with an, “OK. Cool” reply to it.

I didn’t want them to struggle mentally and emotionally (when they were already neurodivergent) thinking something was wrong with them by not wanting to have icky squicky physical relationships. But by being there, armed with knowledge now it saved them decades of grief and emotional turmoil.

My radical kindness is being the space the baby aces need so they can have a human resource for them, so they know they aren’t broken, that they are valid and accepted, and that they don’t have to behave in certain ways to feel accepted - especially in the queer community.

So yeah, sex might be cool but how about acceptance of people who lived in the era who didn't have the world at their fingertips to know themselves, much less the language to even have a label that fit.

[itsclydebitches]

(WLW anon) I really don’t like the “bad rep is better then none at all”. I hate that. We should want good rep, because bad rep has been used time and time again by homophobes as to say we shouldn’t get representation. To me it’s not “gay can have the same flaws as het”, it’s “fix the flaws in the het”. Also I know Renora being independent was a good, I was just saying in comparison BB. Also, yes, they were separated, but also didn’t stop thinking about each other. Especially bad with Yang.

Indulge me for a moment because I want to take a trip down memory lane and list some—just some—of the queer rep that has been important to me over the years:

Ellen comes out both as herself and as her character… years later, she’s a hated millionaire who is criticized for how she treats her staff

The wildly influential Buffy gives us two women entering a loving relationship… except then Tara is killed off, Willow goes evil for a time, and Buffy comes under fire for Joss Whedon’s everything

The beloved and respectable headmaster of one of the most popular book series ever published is revealed to be gay… except it doesn’t count because it wasn’t in the text and now all of Harry Potter is cancelled because JKR is transphobic

Kurt is an unambiguously gay teen in a hugely popular TV series, acting as one of the first overt representations a generation has seen… except he’s way too stereotypical and Glee is a joke now

Orange is the New Black gives us a number of queer women, including one of our first trans characters… but isn’t it problematic that they’re all criminals?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine hosts an out gay captain and gives us a bisexual coming out story that resonated with many, myself included… except now we’re supposed to hate all the characters on principle because they’re cops

Korra and Asami walk off into the spiritual sunset together… but they never kiss or anything, so that doesn’t count either

Steven Universe gives us a queer relationship and a wedding… but it’s an issue that this is just a kid’s show and, really, does it count when the rep is embodied by space rocks whose entire species only creates a single gender? Feels like a cop-out

Same with Good Omens. Yeah, Crowley and Aziraphale clearly love each other… but you never see them kiss or declare their intentions. It’s great ace rep though! Unless you want to level the criticism that asexual characters are always nonhuman

A character intended to be a minor guest becomes a show staple and eventually declares his love for one of the two main characters… except then Castiel immediately dies, Dean doesn’t respond, and they never meet on screen again

I finished Queen’s Gambit the other day and the main character had a one-night stand with a woman! … but everyone is talking about how bisexuality is used to represent her lowest point, so that’s bad too

I could go on for literal pages. Some of these arguments I agree with (Dumbledore), others I’ve pushed back against quite strongly (Crowley and Aziraphale), but all of them are valid criticisms depending on what part of the queer community you’re in and what your expectations are. My point here is that it’s all “bad rep.” I mean that seriously. If anyone reading this is scrambling for the comment section to say why [insert media title here] is actually fantastic rep, I guarantee that someone disagrees. Or if they don’t, give it some time. Just wait until the characterization becomes offensively outdated, or another part of the story ruins the relationship, or it comes out that the author did something truly horrific, or the terminology changes and it’s labeled as “problematic” now… just wait. At some point, any rep we feel is good rep now will be criticized, cancelled, and dragged through the mud. The rep that I personally haven’t seen much push-back against—like the beloved Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who, or Schitts Creek that just won a ton of awards—is wrapped up in the criticism, “So it’s all just about able-bodied, cis, (mostly) white dudes, huh? :/”  Even the argument that queer characters need to be written by queer authors doesn’t hold up. I absolutely adored Sense8. “Wow, a gay main character in a loving relationship with another gay man, both of whom enter a loving poly relationship with a woman, another lesbian trans main character who marries the love of her life on screen, an entire cast arguably queer due to them sharing orgy scenes centered around the emotional intimacy they share, everyone survives, and this was written by two trans women! Great, right?” Well, not according to the wealth of opinions explaining how Sense8 is horrible rep, actually. Every piece of rep we’ve got is either currently flawed or will become flawed in the future.

So what do we do with that?

That’s where my “I’d rather have bad rep than no rep at all” comes in. For me, that’s not waving the white flag. That’s not an oath that I won’t expect better rep in the future (I do) or that I won’t criticize the rep we get (BOY DO I), but rather just an acknowledgement of reality. The vast majority—if not the entirety—of rep is “bad rep” in one way or another, but I’d still rather have it than nothing at all. Because I’ve lived just long enough and studied media just enough to know what nothing looked like. It was watching all queer characters meet untimely deaths. Before that it was watching queer characters be derided and treated as jokes. Before that it was nothing but coding, where queer characters didn’t exist except in our own headcanons and interpretations. Obviously “bad rep” covers a very large range of issues and “They haven’t even confirmed this relationship yet” is a bigger issue than “This queer character embodies one or two, mild stereotypes,” but ultimately I’d take any of it over nothing at all. And enjoying what we’ve currently got doesn’t mean I’m willing to settle for it indefinitely.

To use an iffy analogy, imagine there’s a factory. This factory makes plates. So. Many. Plates. Big plates, small plates, plain plates, decorative plates, plates for every possible occasion in your life—and everyone with a steak for dinner is pleased as punch. You though? You’ve got soup. You need a bowl. Your entire life you’ve been struggling to eat your soup off a plate (it doesn’t work) and listening to friends and family claim that the plate with a slightly raised edge could be a bowl if you squint (it’s not). To say it’s frustrating is an understatement.

But then, one day, the factory starts producing bowls too. Hurray! Except as soon as you get your hands on one, you’re told you really shouldn’t be using it, let alone praising it. Look at the state of that bowl! It’s cracked right down the middle, ugly as hell, shoddily made all around… you’re not really going to settle for that, are you? And no, you obviously still want the factory to produce better bowls, but at the same time, this is a bowl. You’ve never gotten one before and you can finally enjoy your meal, even if the soup leaks at times. Sometimes a lot. But you’re still feeling better about your meal than you ever have before. And what you then begin to realize is that lots of the plates are a mess too. They also have cracks, they’re also ugly, many are also shoddily made. The difference is that the factory is producing so many plates at such a rapid pace that every steak eater is able to get by. One plate breaks completely? You’ve got a thousand fallbacks. Don’t like the look of this one? A thousand other options. You disagree about what “shoddily made” means? Luckily there are enough plates that everyone can find what they prefer! But the bowls… there’s only a few. Some are really expensive. Others are only available for a limited time before they suddenly disappear. Your bowl breaks and you have to wait months, years sometimes, to get another one. You’re constantly told to go buy this one obscure bowl no one else has heard about and yeah, you like it... but you’d also like to buy one of the bowls everyone is already enjoying. You find yourself looking at the plates and thinking, “I’d like that. I’d like to have so many options that the flaws, while still a problem, are much more bearable.” You’re still going to demand that the factory get its shit together, you’re still going to (rightly) complain about the awful quality of your bowl… but it’s still nice to have a bowl, period. There are still things you like about it, even if it’s a mess: the color, the size, the beauty of the shape of it. Its potential. You’re still pleased you have something to enjoy and that helps serve the need you’re looking to fill, even if that something is imperfect.

That’s “bad rep is better than no rep.” To bring this very long response back to Blake/Yang, I don’t think their problems negate their benefits. Is their relationship currently non-canonical and filled with a number of writing issues everyone has a right to be angry about? Yup. I express that anger a great deal. Are they still half of a team on a very popular show that is (presumably) set to be canonized as queer? Yup. I’d much rather live in a world where big shows like RWBY try to include queer rep and fail in a multitude of ways—with the expectation and hope that they’ll continue to improve—rather than in a world where authors a) don’t care or b) are too scared to try. Because that’s where a “good rep or no rep” stance leads. The danger isn’t homophobes because they’re, well, homophobes. It doesn’t matter if the rep is good or not, they hate it on principle. But if queer authors writing for other queer identities, or allies writing queer identities, or even queer authors writing their own experiences (like in Sense8) continually come under non-stop fire for their attempts… there’s a good chance that many people won’t ever try. We’re already seeing that here on tumblr with young authors admitting that they wouldn’t touch [insert topic here] with a ten-foot pole because just look at what happens when you get it wrong. And authors will get things wrong because authors are fallible people forever unlearning their own ignorance. So though it might sound strange coming from a blog that has turned into such a RWBY critical space, I am glad that RWBY’s queer rep exists, despite all the frustrations that I share about it. I think a RWBY with various types of “bad” queer rep is better than a RWBY with no queer rep at all, particularly when “bad” or “good” is so intensely subjective. There’s a middle ground between passively accepting whatever we’re given, and tearing into rep with such ferocity that we end up rejecting it all. There’s a space where we can be critical of rep and embrace the parts that work for us, simultaneously.

I hope and expect the het rep will get better too, but… that’s never going to happen instantly. To quote RWBY, there’s no magic wand we can wave to fix all our problems. Rather, it will take slow, plodding, meandering, lifetimes’ worth of work to see that change occur and I personally don’t want to spend the one life I have waiting for that perfect rep to show up. Because it’s unlikely that it will. While we work, I’d rather find the good in what rep we’ve already got.  

[malefiquinn]

My Cyberpunk 2077 review

I finished the game last night and I have Feelings™ about it, so here goes my review. While the heavy spoilers (ending related) will be hidden under Keep Reading, I might mention some minor ones here and there, so read at your own risk.

Let’s get the Big Thing out of the way first: yes, the game is buggy af. The good news is most of them are visual bugs, so while annoying, they don’t really matter gameplay wise. But I did have to reload an earlier save file two times to get rid of gamebreaking bugs, both messing with main story quests. It was frustrating. And nevermind the times my car got destroyed because the game suddenly realized there were two cars occupying the same space. However I did manage to finish the game and make the choices I wanted, so it wasn’t that bad either.

My biggest complain is the blantant transphobia shown in the character creator. I know Claire exists and she’s awesome and I love her, but the cc options are just not inclusive enough. What’s the point of having them if you can’t use them anyway? Linking V’s pronouns to voice types makes absolutely no sense. And not being able to remove breasts from the female body type (or put them in the male body type) rubs me the wrong way as well, though I understand that it would involve a lot more animation work. Lastly, having body type-dependant hair styles is just plain inexcusable when the devs took the time to design genitals that are just not shown past the character creator (unless V walks around naked, I suppose). So, why bother having all these ✨choices✨ when the player can’t get a good, accurate customization anyway?

And it gets worse if we talk about romances. Real people have specific tastes and that’s completely understandable, but real life has a lot more than 4 choices in total. More importantly, bisexual people are a thing? There should have been at least one female and one male bisexual romance options in game. So to make it al worse, the constraint in gay romance options is... awful. Why have 3 types of gender-related customization if you can’t use them if you want to romance someone? I’m a cishet female who plays as a cishet female first if given the option, but I’m still bothered for the queer community (which I’m still part of btw, since I’m in the ace spectrum). It feels like being trans is more of a fetish in Night City than a real trait.

Speaking of romances, I played River’s and I found it... bit of a lackluster. I don’t find him physically attractive (shaved head and no beard are not my thing) but his voice was pretty nice and I liked his personality despite being a cop. But the main downside was the way the game treats his romance. I knew I wasn’t going to get a BioWare-style romance, but V’s relationship with River was like a sidenote and once he’s romanced, there’s just no way to interact with him again. That perhaps is the same for the other romances but there’s no replayability, in a sense that there’s no way to talk to/kiss him again or replay the sex scene, for instance. It bothered me that the game forces V to say that “she’s too busy” and apologize to her boyfriend all the time, because *I* would’ve made time to visit if there was ingame acknowledgement of it. The worst bit is that I feel like River’s romance is the least polished of them all, because Panam and Judy play important roles in main quests and Kerry is pivotal to Johnny’s sidequests, while River is... just there (also more further on, regarding the ending). So the fact that he’s like the forgotten child in the romance section while being the only cishet female option is heartbreaking.

The silverlining is that, at least, the mistreated community was het females instead of gay females. Although, this is just another example of game devs thinking about male players first.

Now the good part: what I liked

The cars. I’m not a car enthusiast, I don’t enjoy driving in real life and I’m a terrible driver in games, but I fucking loved the cars in CP2077. The Caliburn was like my game baby, I had so much fun driving around and hearing the different engines for each car, and the differences in driving... it was awesome. I got and bought *all* the available cars for the sake of it, just because I liked them so much.

The story. I love games that get me invested and this one was definitely one of those. Falling for Jackie when I knew he was not gonna be around for long was an expected, but still perfectly excecuted punch to the gut. And Johnny’s guidance and company was something I was hyped about, but still played out even better than I though it would. So to my next point, Keanu Reeves. I was thrilled to play a game with Keanu in it and it blew my mind. Those reviews that pinpoint Keanu’s acting as the weak link in the game are fucking wrong, how else you expect to see (and hear) an angry, resentful man permanently stuck in time? Even worse, when he knows the people he hated the most managed to kill him? I wasn’t happy when I learned Johnny was not a romance option but after meeting him, I’m glad that’s the case. He’s the perfect antihero-turned-best-friend for V, if you can stand him.

Stealth and hacking. Most of the time I choose the option to play stealthy and this time it wasn’t just that, it was the option to use futuristic technology at the same time. I LOVED it. Quickhacking enemies instead of shooting them is so much fun. Enemy detection is a bit wonky at times but still, I enjoyed it much better than if it had been a plain shooter. And those guns with homing shots are so cool that I wanted to play them over sniper rifles, my usual go tos.

The characters. I got invested in V’s relationships, even if the romantic aspect wasn’t as great as it could’ve been. Friendship with Kerry and Panam, clousure for Judy and Rogue, mourning Jackie, being part of River’s family, so many the fixers in existance... and Johnny, my bff Johnny. Even Alt, with her somewhat little role, was great. I was promised a compelling story and deep characters, and I did get both.

The soundtrack. Overall it’s pretty great, but my favorite songs are those related to Samurai. And it’s not even because of my love for Johnny, I really do enjoy them for their musical content. Unironically my all time favorite is Johnny’s as well, Never Fade Away. I won’t exit a car or open the menu when that song is playing.

The easter eggs. From GlaDOS and Silence of the Lambs in the Delamain quests to the Matix-esque pills of the main storyline, to Hideo Kojima and the BB in a lab, “Harvest like a Reaper” and the many “You’re breathtaking!” references (Kerry’s take was my favorite), the game presents A LOT of pop culture nods and I’m here for it. Having real life content creators around for several levels of cameos was a nice touch as well.

So without mentioning the heavy spoilers (aka ending), in my opinion, Cyberpunk 2077 deserves a 9/10. Bugs are fixable and the story and characters carry the game on it’s own because they’re just too good. The main story is kinda short and I believe Johnny’s sidequests should be part of the main story, but I get why they are not mandatory if you want to roleplay a full on dislike towards the rockerboy. But still, there are some things related to gender and romance that are complete misfires. I hope that some of those will be fixed via patches (the character creator bits), but the lack of more romance options or at least bisexual NPCs obviously won’t be fixed and that’s what keeps CP2077 away from a perfect score in my book.

Now, regarding the endings:

The one thing that truly bothered me was that the Rogue one had no real goodbyes for V. She goes into a suicide mission in space and everyone’s post-credit messages complain she just disappeared without a trace? I get she’s dying and all, but, for fuck’s sake leave a message explaining it if you cared so much about them. The game *makes* you care about the characters but doesn’t give you an option to honor that love at the end.

Also, again, romances. I played both Rogue and Panam’s endings so I know there’s no way to have a happy ending with River, which is bittersweet and probably for the best that it happens with him since his romance seems to be the least engaging, but again that makes me feel cheated. Not that they parted ways in the Nomad ending (that was sad, but sad endings are not bad), but that there is no happy-ish ending romance wise for a cishet female. People who romanced Panam obviously stay together with her and those who romanced Judy do too from what I’ve read (and no idea about Kerry’s romance), but not getting that option if you choose to be female and go for a het romance takes away from the game. Sadly. Also my last interaction with River in Rogue’s ending was fucking terrible, I liked how poetic that ending was for Rogue and Johnny until I got to the rest of my V’s life.

(But I still headcanon that River eventually joined V with the Aldecaldos in my canon ending, aka the Nomads’, despite what he said. Since his post-credit message implies he might visit her and stuff.)

As for the rest of the ending... CP2077 clearly states that life isn’t happy and that there’re no happy endings for people who live in NC, so I like that no ending is completely happy since you are bound to die anyway, but. But. It’s somewhat disheartening that the overall arc can be resumed to “all that you did served for nothing, you’re still dying so your efforts were absolutely useless.” I really don’t see how to improve it without defaulting to a happy, sunshine-esque ending that fixes everything, so I don’t know. It still wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear at the end, so... I liked it but didn’t, at the same time. Ha.

And lastly, I hoped for endgame playability and there is none, you have to revert to an earlier save to keep playing. I get why it wasn’t done, to give a definitive end to V’s story in NC, but anyway. What I really liked about this choice was that no matter the ending, V becomes no one again. They will be forgotten by most people after a while either because they leave with the nomads or because they ‘disappear’, aka die in a blaze of glory in that casino in space. Or well, sell their soul to Arasaka or commit suicide on the rooftop.

So overall, I loved this game and critics are somewhat too harsh. But I agree there are some terrible design choices and a long way of bugfixing to get to the specific masterpiece that we were hoping for.