#someone free me of this torment
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Re: hamlet
Idk how you always make your responses the most Tim Drake thing I’ve ever heard but you did it again congrats, Tim
I'm just out here trying to live my life and getting accused of being Tim drake on the daily
#ask#anon#does this count as cyber bullying#i feel like this should count as cyber bullying#someone free me of this torment
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"He was your first love, I intend to be your last. However long it takes."
Those who have watched 'The Vampire Diaries' know this quote comes from there (Klaroline ftw) but this just screams Elucien to me! 😭
I need a scene with this vibe in the next book like I need air and if we get it... My oh my I know I'll cry in fetal position 🤧 I love them.
Credits to @meeksyyy as she was the first person I saw associating this line with Elucien, she gets it!
#someone free me from this torment#i love them more than chocolate#and i loooove chocolate#klaroline#elucien#pro elucien
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neckdeep in chapter two of a jegulus wlw 2000s coming of age soccer au.
the first chapter is 4k words of regulus being a stupid idiot and not realising she's in a relationship and now her parents have dropped in without notice and she hasnt even talked to jamie in a week after finding out they're dating through her estranged brother sirius and i cant just write a goddamn coffeeshop au, can i
#jegulus#jegulus fanfic#jegulus fanfiction#jegulus fic#someone free me from this torment#her fc is cloe from h20 just add water btw#i got that from a tiktok#was this how kafka felt
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making my OC on baldur’s gate 3 just to feel something
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the thing is i want to buy that fucking camera and i do have the money for it, the money which is my pay checks from my summer temp jobs and i could technically buy it and be fine because i can afford my rent without this money but if i buy the camera i won’t have enough money left to put it into savings but then what the fuck am i gonna do with my saved money? nothing that’s right it’s just gonna sit there but what if there’s an emergency that would require €500 and then i won’t have it but what kind of emergency would require that amount of money? also i really want that camera and i’ve wanted it for a long time and i finally have the money but i don’t want to spend money but then why do i have the money if i don’t spend it on something that i want and would use but what if i need the money later for something else
#this is what it’s like in my brain 24/7 someone free me from this torment#any advice would be appreciated btw
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calls out of work with a severe case of *gestures vaguely at my life*
#truly it is a palpatine in the makeup chair dot jpg day folks#I feel like a cat turd someone re-heated in a hotpocket crisper#leave me here to succumb to the general what the fuckery that is summer with reverse seasonal affective disorder#I am only half kidding abt that by the way like. my mental health is never worse than in the summer. it is never prodded into hyper drive b#fall or winter. I don't need one of those sunshine lamps. I need 24/7 free AC I can run at 70 degrees and for the sun to go back to setting#at 4pm#I need the sun to just fuckin chill. I need to be able to sleep. I need for the cat to not throw up any more bugs.#I need for my left calf to un-cramp . I need to stop feeling like life is torment and I will forever be a weirdo shut in with no friends#or life or anything to offer the world in general#I am tired. to the core of my very soul I am tired.#and now that I've Overshared Far Too Much in the Tags (tm) I'm going to launch a steam game and zone out until my outdoor bug spray shit#gets delivered and I have to go play dale gribble out in the yard 🙃#erin explains it all
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max boop... :3
#🔖 akashic torment#YAY!!!!!!!! anything for Paw#if you need to spam someone to get to 1000 urself feel free to do it to me
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#random rambles#The last ask sent me on five different tangents I wasted the whole afternoon over#I opted against adding this to the ask because it'd be unrespectful to Anon but if I don't let it out somewhere I'll die#Everyone knows how beyond what it may look like that I don't like bsd and that includes Beast#But the ask touches the exact reason why I think Beast ultimately fails as a story#because it constantly tries to frame Akutagawa as evil and heartless; but what's framed as his most cruel action#- the one of mindlessly slaughtering his enemies at the start - is itself moved by love#And I know someone in the wings is already arguing#“that's the whole point. the reader is supposed to see through it‚ and see that Akutagawa wasn't inherently evil to begin with”#… But I don't think that's the case. This is not the place to talk about it but at the same time I don't want to make a post about it#but at the same time I feel like I won't have peace untill I've brought this up.#That's not the case because 1) Dazai says it's not the case‚ and Dazai is the character with most authority in the entire franchise#and 2) Ryuunosuke's later scene with Gin reinforces the fact that Akutagawa's action was cruel and inhuman#But it's not true. It's just that the author is a little nihilist that doesn't believe humans are inherently good.#So please let's just stop pretending they aren't? Because bsd fans. in my very humble opinion - are in severe need of someone#to remember them they are free to like aspects of the franchise even without acting like its morals aren't completely fucked up#Sorry for derailing it's been tormenting me since forever I desperately needed to mention it somewhere.#I've recently read someone say that bsd sustained that humans are inherently good and like... What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck.#Like there ARE series that do that? T/pn is one of them? Read t/pn if you want that? It's good?#But bsd definitely doesn't c'mon it's not that hard#Ugh. sorry for this. It was just to say#I love Beast but I don't like bsd and Beast is part of bsd and Beast does ultimately adhere to bsd's fucked up morals Kyotag out#I'm just saying we should all be able to recognize where our personal worldviwes end and where the author's start.#If you don't you aren't reading you're projecting#I'm not even rereading this#if I'll overthink it a second more I know it'll end up together with my millions black posts at the bottom of my drafts#Post
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ok, I have a questions, I need to know. Sometimes when I leave a comment on a fanfic, the author writes back. And sometimes it's not just a short thank you, but it's a long comment (possibly in an answer for my long comment). And sometimes I write back but sometimes it's not the right time/space of mind/anything and I don't. And I find it in my inbox months later, unanswered and forever feel horrible. so the questions is:
#fanfiction#fandom#fanfic#fic#comments#writers#fanfiction writers#I just need to know if I should stop tormenting myself#I sometimes go to my inbox and I look at some lovely long answers that I got#and I feel awful that someone not only took their time to write a fic that I loved and then gave me it for free#but also took their time to write such a lovely comment#and I just never wrote back#and know we're not friends and we're not texting or sth#and you have to just stop at some point#actually it might be more bothersome to have someone that wants to have a whole fucking conversation with you#that takes up so much of your time and energy#but so I just feel bad#aš we can all see by this bloody wall of tags#polls#poll
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i think i would have gone loco if jo and aoki got to meet up just once after ichi breaks through to him like. the damage to my psyche id have wouldve been immeasurable, irreparable even
#snap chats#im at the vet waiting for my dog please listen to shit thats been tormenting me for months#finally releasing all of my drafted thoughts im ill and im free#srry i know i talked bout it already in todays ask but im still thinking about it#this is also inspod by one of my twitter mutuals saying aoki’s death was the only foreseeable path for him like girl i thought we were fam#but no 😭 ill stand by forever that him dying was legit so dumb and unnecessary idc idc 😭#anyway. let me begin. because its not as if aoki wasnt conscious of jo constantly tailing him#take a shot every time i quote the Lost Dog comment its just such a good line and just exposes jo its my everything ok leave me alone#but please just like. in the weird timeline where jo and aoki did get to be cellmates- or at least were in the same cell block right#id throw up and cry if aoki looked at jo differently that day. like it doesnt help that jo’s without all his flash and flair#hes just in slacks and his hairs all tussled and he just looks So Normal. like hes Not a murderer#as soon as that warden bring aoki in i know jo movin to see him with all the love and concern only a father got#aokid never say sorry i just know hed be awkward as hell in jo’s presence now#like if aoki really did take ichis words to heart and starts to actually see jo as his family and as someone who cares about him for him#id kill myself on the spot thats why they had to kill aoki#no id die and throw up if aoki just outright asks jo if he does care about him or something like that#jo gonna need to muster up every ounce of his will to say he does not because he doesnt but because hes Just Like That. hes a hard nut#but he loves his kid more than anything and im gonna tear my organs out thinking about it#jo your kid sucks but ik you still love him thats the worst part#i wanna write or draw somethin with them in jail together so bad but i always get distracted#and again i have comms to do today.#OH BUT SPEAKING OF MY DUMB ASS DOG GOT LYME DISEASE 😭😭😭#they said he should be fine in like six months if we’re good with meds but still.... this is lame.....#ALSO I FOUND OUT MY POM MIX IS PREDOMINANTLY A PAPILLON..... thats fucked up yo butterfly dog...#ok im gonna go be insane idk how much else i could elaborate on this bye bye
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me, watching my ex walk away for the thousandth time except in a totally non-permanent way but still mentally super imposing the entire Video Rental scene over it in my head: this is fine this is fine this is fine —
#[throws on the most pretentious clothes possible to lower my PSY stats]#help someone help me balance my stats#to be clear I’m like genuinely fine but the moment of connection was making me insane#because it’s not just about her just like it isn’t just about Dora#It’s about everything and being a product of your environment and being ground down by it#it’s about years of missteps cutting your safety nets before you’re ready for the free fall#it’s about forgetting the context or the intention but remembering the feeling it left you with#it’s about harry using the people he loves to hurt himself#making Jean mad enough to tear him down and using Dora’s likeness to torment himself#it’s about how love did him in#and he killed himself in every way that mattered over it#god.#say more sadie#actually I’ve said enough thanks#sadie has mental illness
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Logan is leaving me alone with the little brat for a longer time I hate him so much -Roman
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That awkward moment when you have an exam on Monday you didn’t prepare for so you study 8+ hours today and probably even more tomorrow …
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Do I have to start saying not that anyone would care in that super duper passive aggressive way to guilt people into caring or what
#dora daily#I’m so tired#the one thing I’ve consistently wanted since I was a kid was to be cared about and seen 😜#yet I can’t even seem to get that ☠️ I honest to god am so tired like every day is another futile attempt to try to engineer what I say#specifically for the purpose of me hoping someone ANYONE would care#how I used to be sick when I was younger because I saw that the kids who would get sick or would get sad would get sm care and love but#I was stupid because I didn’t account for the fact that when I was sick I had to just suck it up or when I was sad I need to stop being such#a crybaby and get over it#what if I say I’ve had enough of just being shamelessly used by others for me to comfort them through their problems#but I always have everything thrown back at my face because somehow when it’s my turn my problems are uncomfortable or awkward#I don’t have energy for a single thing yet I force myself to talk to at least one person and trying to fix my relationship with just#literally talking it shouldn’t be that hard but I feel so worthless that even speech is impossible and makes me feel like I will literally#die. it’s been working kinda but now I just can’t help but feel so sick to my stomach about all this my head hurts really bad and I’m trying#not to cry and trying my hardest to make peace with the fact that in truth nobody will ever like me enough to care at all ever#not my mum not my dad or my siblings and certainly not my friends either#I’m so tired of always begging and pleading for someone to just notice I’m here too#or maybe it’s specific people#it’s so cruel to say all those overly nice things to me and not act on them#why else was I so psychotic about that girl ? obviously because she would shower me with the nicest things I’ve ever heard#but she says that to everyone she’s not consistent with me and we aren’t really friends#ik it wasn’t her intention but it doesn’t change the fact I have wanted to and I’m not even over exaggerating but actually off myself#because this is just proof I’m around to serve people’s dirty work and clean messes when I can’t even stand on my two feet anyways#isn’t it so stupid I’m just talking to myself here and most likely nobody will ever see it meaning this was just useless yet again#and the fact i can’t be free ever nor can i do anything about this to permanently end things because i am a coward and because the worst#part is that even after death I shall be tormented anyways#and let’s say I somehow survive an attempt I will literally be scarred for life and then I’d rlly want to be dead#it’s the way not even death can be a solace for this because there would only be more torture#I can’t leave this religion because leaving won’t change the truth but I’m so tired and worn thin of every single responsibility in my life#even tho I don’t have much the few I do have feel excruciating#life is too much and death is worse so why couldn’t my mum who’s strong willed said no to my dads family and not gotten married period 🧍♀️
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Horrible realization that if I go through with recollecting all the oni logs then I'll have to actually find out how to get "a seed is planted" like for realsies this time. Maybe I should just cheat them all in actually. <3.
#rat rambles#oni posting#a seed is planted sucks so bad its like my second favorite log and its been such a pain in the fucking ass to find#appearing then dissapearing so thourougly that I thought I might have made it up somehow making me learn to look into the god damn code to#find out if Im crazy or not only to find it along side all the story trait logs despite it being in the research notes section and Then I#open oni again to chech smth completely different and it fucking reapears out of nowhere and then the game updates and all my logs explode#this fucker has tormented me for so long and Ive seen no one else talk abt it so Im still not 100% convinced it wasnt a glitch somehow#it probably is a real log thats in the game and it disappearing is the glitch but boy do I have no way of knowing#if that is the case I can only imagine it relates to it seemingly having been intended as a story trait log#I assume it was moved to research notes because of how long it is but idk#anyways nails you motherfucker why must you have recorded one of the more lore heavy logs in the game and then made it a bitch to find#like genuinely I think its one of like 3 max logs that directly mention duplicants by name#ok ok there might be 4 I dont remember exactly#but two of those would be by jackie and one by probably nikola so nails mentioning them by name is a pretty big deal#and thats if Im remembering those logs correctly which I am likely not lol#its like 3 am ok#a seed is planted also just gives us some juicy lore relating to the actual tech we see in game#along with. that whole unnamed human subject thing. that still haunts me.#who are you subject whatever your number was and are you olivia specifically to spite me#if it wasnt for the b111-1 thing I wouldn't consider her that strong a canidate but it is a thing so she is#not only is she a strong candidate but shes like. one of like 3 real candidates we have for that#it's a weird case because it could very easily be a complete rando especially given the subject number instead of a work id being given#but also given its relation to dupes itd be weird if it wasnt someone who either worked at gravitas or otherwise got duped#which thankfully does free olivia of some possibility since as far as we know there are no olivia dupes lol#jorge and dr.holland are the other two main options in my minds eye but thats based on very little#dr.holland in particular would kind of vaguely make sense given hes mentioned in that story trait's artifact reward#but ofc given that nails does not choose to elaborate on that whole thing all I can do is blindly speculate#they also mention a name which is fun because its one of our rare complete randos in oni lore#now. he could easily be revealed to be some dupe but Im pretty sure the name was like bruce or smth so I dont consider it likely#also I am deeply curious of what this bruce guy was to nails given nails calls him 'my darling bruce'
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why has god decided to forsaken me
#dont i suffer enough?#surely he sees it‚ in his ceaseless gaze. surely he bears witness to my daily torment‚#the torment of being anything at all. of being aware. of being conscious. in the way that he created me to be#free will‚ i think‚ is something of a curse. free will‚ i think‚ is what will damn me in the end#if i spend an hour looking for this fucking fic im actually going to maim someone.
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