#somehow they will still only have 10 minutes of screentime total | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bylerly · 5 years

Text

alright everyone. after my rush of emotions after that season, i’ve had time to decompress, and make an actually cohesive list of my thoughts about the season. as you could probably guess - MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!

first, let’s get the (much) shorter list out of the way. here’s what I enjoyed:

the acting. i want to mention how good millie was, because she was fantastic, but i almost feel like i shouldn’t, bc el took SO MUCH screen and plot time, that millie was given every opportunity to be good. she doesn’t really need any more special mention. otherwise - noah (with the little he was given) and sadie were particularly great. so were winona & david, but that goes without saying.

the elmax friendship. these two deserved it. and max bringing el out of her shell, showing her how to become her own person.... incredible. 10/10 i love them both

alexei. feels weird saying this, but he was probably the new addition I enjoyed watching the most. it would have been kind of cool to see him live past season 3.

an lgbt+ confirmed character. this one is a little.... tricky for me. as happy as I am that there is a queer woman written into the show... I feel like it’s a cop out to not have to confirm will’s sexuality. robin confirms her sexuality in less than a season, but after three with will, we still only get ~subtext~? still, this is a positive portion, so.... I guess that was something I was happy with

el moving in with the byers at the end. finally. this is one of the only things that is keeping me excited for s4. i guess i can only hope for there to FINALLY be some good willel interactions next season, but if this season has taught me anything, it’s not to get my hopes too high :-)

jancy ending s3 on a good note. parts of their storyline were fantastic, some were disappointing. but i really dug their dynamic, and the realistic struggle between the two of them, with nancy not really understanding jonathan’s class struggles, and jonathan not grasping the weight of the misogyny being thrown at nancy. their final moments at the empty byers house at the end were especially lovely.

el no longer being OP, and not being undefeatable. i love el. i really, genuinely do. i love her character, i love her traits, i lover her power. but the duffers were relying too heavily on her to constantly save the day with her powers, and it was happening too often. one of the faults of s2 was the constant thought of how easily el could’ve fought off all these threats if she was just there. i think it’s incredibly interesting to not only see her get completely worn out, but totally lose her powers. like mike said, i’m sure they’ll come back, but i want so badly for el to not just be defined by her powers.

a platonic m/f friendship. yes, one of them is confirmed queer, and they would’ve probably been romantically linked if she was straight. but i’ll take what i can get when it comes to this. platonic opposite sex relationships?? r i s e

now for the meat of my thoughts ~ what I didn’t like:

mike’s characterization. the writers completely made him into a dick this season. i get it, he’s a teenager, so he’s going to be an asshole sometimes. hell, in a recent post, I defended that, saying it’s good writing. but I underestimated just how awful he’d be, completely blowing off his friends for any chance for a second alone with el. I understand that he loves his girlfriend of course, but s1-2 mike loved his friends just as much. he was so utterly unlikable this season, that it seemed like he was a different character.

lucas as comic relief. this is so lazy, and i’m so angry for both the character and caleb, both of whom deserve so much better. he really had nothing to do if it wasn’t related to max, and the writers further reduced him down to a one-dimensional, kind of dumb, mediocre boyfriend, and that is not the highly intelligent, brave, kind lucas that i know and love.

will’s sidelining. god, this made absolutely no sense. noah fucking shined last season. he stole pretty much the entire thing. every critic, even those who disliked the season, had nothing but good things to say about his performance. furthermore, will has so much potential in so many different directions in so many aspects of his character. however, once he revealed to his friends that he was feeling the upside down/MF’s presence... they may as well have written out his character. he was sidelined almost to the point of background character. they gave him very little to do emotionally after that castle byers scene, and even fewer lines.

total lack of willel scenes. phew, if this wasn’t a bummer. will spoke a single line to el, and maybe one or two throwaway lines about her. if there is one thing most of the fans can agree on, it’s that will and el have the biggest connection to the upside down, the biggest unspoken connection, the most parallels, and the most intriguing potential relationship... and they really just said “fuck it” and didn’t have them interact at all. (that’s poor writing folks!) they better make up for this now that they’re living together.

amount of eleven scenes. i love her so dearly. i really do. and i’m so happy she grew into her own, not through mike or hopper. but the amount of el plot and screen time this season was actually difficult to watch. every other scene centered around her. so many characters and so much of the story went undeveloped, while she got way, way more than was necessary. additionally, take any kid’s plot (other than dustin), and guaranteed, it revolved around el. people were starting to catch on that the show was favoring her character more than even most shows’ mains.... and this season took it to a level i actual didn’t think it would.

the comedy. it was so awkwardly written. so much of it threw off the pace of the show. it seemed forced, and just... not very stranger things-esque, where the comedy was typically well-written and blended into dialogue.

the baddies. this was a huge letdown, too. i understand that the monster was large, but it was far less menacing to me than, say, the MF’s physical form. it had gore points, sure. it felt incredibly boring and predictable. in the same vein, i thought the ‘zombie’ style storyline of heather & co. would be deeper than that, but that was literally all it was. again... not interesting to me. billy was a rehash as well. the russians definitely had potential, but even that plot wound up being incredibly one-dimensional.

billy’s screentime. this was one of the things i was absolutely furious about. he got more screentime than the party (minus el) combined. they wanted for us so badly to empathize with him, to humanize him... i’m sorry, but you wrote a character that almost killed a boy for being black, that abuses his sister, and is a misogynistic asshole. abuse doesn’t excuse that, and it’s insulting to abuse survivors to say that billy inevitably became this way because of his dad, and that he deserves our uwus for it... and actually got el’s. he took screen time away from characters who desperately needed it, and that’s something i will never look at the duffers the same way for.

the scoops troop. I wanted to love erica... but i feel so indifferent to her. she was way too much this season. and robin. again, i love that she’s confirmed queer. and i dug her character more. but even then... i don’t know. i would have rather never had her introduced, and allowed established characters to have been better developed. and as a whole, the whole storyline of the troop was just what I feared: underwhelming and awkwardly placed.

high steve & robin. won’t elaborate on this too much, bc there’s not much to elaborate on. it just felt so wildly out of place and unnecessary.

that dustin/suzie number. what the hell was that? what could have been a 20 second joke was stretched out WAY too long and was bizarrely placed. just because you have an actor from broadway, doesn’t mean he needs to sing. and even if he does sing... you couldn’t have found a better time or situation? i literally was just staring at my screen in disbelief as that whole thing happened. entirely unneeded.

the amount of flashbacks. i understand most casual viewers wouldn’t remember certain things because of how long it’s been. but they literally put a recap at the beginning of the season. that’s what it’s for. and there were also plenty from like.... the episode before??? the amount they included took away so much time, that it almost just seemed like they didn’t have enough footage, and they had to fill their time stamp somehow. at some point, it just becomes insulting to the audience’s intelligence.

the overall tone. this season did not feel like stranger things in the slightest. off the top of my head, the castle byers scene and the byeler scene in mike’s garage were the exceptions. the first few episodes did have some moments. but overall... it kind of felt like some weird, high budget commercial or something. the charm, distinct aesthetic, and nuance of seasons 1 and 2 was non-existent.

the post-credit scene. there was some last-minute hype up in the reviews for this. was that supposed to be shocking in some way? i suppose this is more the fault of the reviewers who hyped it, but... really? a demodog? we’ve seen that before... i guess more the point was to show that the russians officially have some kind of technology for this. but still, an underwhelming reveal. more intriguing to me, was if hopper was the american in the cell he mentioned at the start of it. or maybe brenner?

the neutral:

that ending. on one hand, it was incredibly predictable. they literally placed an obvious shot of it in the trailer (easy to deduce that the byers had moved out, and that it was fall, so it was an epilogue scene). i was convinced that there would be a twist element they weren’t showing us, but nope. on the other hand, i thought some things were done beautifully (which wasn’t exactly a trend this season). as i mentioned, i loved the jancy moments. i really did like the hopper voiceover, although it was a little trope-y and heavy-handed... i still got a little emo, ngl. those goodbye hugs were somethin’. and, as i said before... el! moving in! with the byers! gimme

so uh... that’s it, i guess. no one really asked, but i needed to get my thoughts out. what did you guys think of the season?

#stranger things #st3 #spoilers #i very well might add onto this the more i continue to think about it

58 notes · View notes

kob131 · 5 years

Note

New "So This is Basically X" video from Jello Apocalypse is on RWBY, and it's a bunch of pretty much crapping on the show.

(Note: read the Edit section for my recollected thoughts. I’d jus rewrite the post but that’d be like covering my mistakes)

… You know what? My dog just died so I am in no mood to tolerate this bullshit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3vYbF3_TAk

A. ‘Added into the show at the last minute’ he says as his own fucking image directly states that the ‘last minute’ was the fucking Red Trailer. AKA the fucking psuedo-pilot. He had so many other chances like Neo or ABRN or the fucking Maidens but nope decided to do the ONE wrong thing.

B. ‘Hoitty Toitty Princess’ Yeah, because she was abused by her dad for years as well as watched her mother degrade into a lifeless husk. Again, could have made an actual point but decided to just spew out the most basic shit ever.

C. ‘Lose every fight she’s been in.’

*cough* WHITE TRAILER *cough*

Also: Fucking Missed Oppritunity: 3 *ding*

D. ‘Weiss hates Ruby’

That stopped in Volume 1, try again

E. ‘How many ears do they have?’

2 or 4

‘Human ears?’

Always

‘Animal ears?’

Sometimes

‘Neither?’

That’s you

‘BOTH?’

Sometimes

‘Why do some of them only have tails?’

Genetics

‘Humans are racist against the Lagoos’

Says the man who tried guilt tripping half the population through racism accusations.

Missed Fucking Opportunity: 4 *ding*

E. What couldn’t find say bullshit to spew about Yang? Missed Fucking Opportunity: 5 *ding*

F. Those are fucking one offs characters. Homer’s Vegas wife isn’t referred to as a side character, why should most of these be any different?

Also: ‘Never explores any of these!’ *shows team CFVY who are getting their own fucking book*

Good to see you still suck at making a point.

G. ‘Show isn’t about the characters!’

We get it, you’re slurping the anti-RWBY crowd’s cock. Make a valid point that not everyone and their grandmother’s grandmother made years ago.

H. *tries citing Neptune, a character that had about twenty minutes of screentime total as ‘eating up’*

Are you gonna do SOMETHING worthwhile? Because these jokes fall flat with a basic knowledge of the show.

I. ‘It’s about the over the top spectacle fights!’

Which not only were far less frequent in other ‘similar’ shows but they sometimes just #ate up screentime.

Missed Fucking Oppritunity: 6 *ding*

J. *butt metal!*

*cites Flynt, a fucking JAZZ musician*

What’s next? ‘Durr, marvel movie orchestra? BAD1′

K. ‘durr, clipping issues!’

*Slaps Fist Of The Blue Sky: Re:Genesis onscreen*

Come back when you make a point.

L. Jello, at the 2:10 mark you’ve done nothing but either say the same standard bullshit (which gets disproven within a minute of research*) or make shitty Take That! jokes.

About fucking RWBY. Egoraptor’s Ocarina of Time and ScottFalco’s Pokemon videos are mocking the shit out of you because you somehow made a worse version of both, about a less subjective medium with a fucking barrel full of fish. Guess that ‘Vote’ video must’ve fried them braincells huh?

M. Dust is elemental gunpowder, how is such a basic concept too complex for you to handle?

N. ‘Steal Dust and never bring it up again!’

Probably because the ending of Volume 2 was the END GOAL of stealing the dust you dumbass.

O. The magic comes straight from the fucking gods, Semblance and Dust have been used in Remnant science. Or is my cheap ass phone magic because someone from the 17th century doesn’t know how it works.

P. *points behind Jello at the massive burly man with the title ‘Lord of the Rings’ on it’s chest*

Have fun with him.

Missed Fucking Opportunity: 7 *ding*

Q. Wanna bet if the RWBY haters didn’t slurp Chibi’s cock he’d be bashing hibi instead of praising it.

R. *join the plot*

Ruby is the fucking plot.

S. So I’m guessing you’d call Hercules’ rage against Olympus and Hera ‘him getting a little mad?’

That’s okay, just like how you’d say your little ‘vote’ video was just ‘you having a little brainfart; amirite?

T. Ah yes, Volumes 1 and 2, which had the least defined characters, the most wasted screentime, the least plot, the least likablke versions of the heroes, the most side characters (INCLUDING NEPTUNE WHO YOU MOCK)-

Literally EVERYTHING you’ve spewed out your mouth was in the first two Volumes and 4 and 5 are the worst ones. Sure.

Missed Fucking Opportunity: 8 *ding* (Should actually be about 8001)

U. ‘Speaking of garbage *which is a segway I could put anywhere in this video’-

Good to know you’re aware of the piss poor quality of the video. Now if only you’d learn to keep your trap shut.

V. Ozpin was never suppose to be morally grey, next.

W. …

*pulls out Qrow and Ruby and replaces it with Yang and Liar Bitch McMass Murd-I mean Raven.*

Wow, context kicks your ass.

X. Jello.

What is the plot of RWBY?

No ‘Well there IS no plot’ bullshit. Tell me. What. The plot. Is.

… You can’t can you? This is the fucking Vote video all over again. You’re talking about a subject you have no clue about, spouting off whatever you think will get you the most positive PR and did no research whatsoever, Except with the video so infamous you had to DELETE it, politics is an inherently difficult subject matter that is easy to screw up (well, not to your extent.)

This is a web show.

Made by two drunk interns and an animator who took inspiration from BLAZBLUE.

And you have NOT made a SINGLE valid point.

The closest you got was the lip movements but you CLEARLY weren’t talking about the Volumes where it mattered so fucking credit.

Y. Blah blah blah ‘Bumbleby bullshit because pander’

Z. Qrow: ‘Oh ad my sister sold me and the daughter she abandoned twice before to the literal devil. Also why I am saying the bird thing is a curse? I defended Ozpin. My sister is the one claiming it to be a curse. Because she wanted to get away from the immortal pseudo-Greek villian which is a common feeling most people would think to do since it appeals to the inherent pragmatism in humanity but I overcame it through my niece’s determination to do the right thing in the end because just being pragmatic and doing what is most likely to succeed goes against one of the few things that make human beings what we are!

… Now I’m gonna go say my political opinions like I’m an important figure and not a walking punchline only known for mildly entertaining content that has suffered such a drop the Simpsons are looking at me in pity because I have a massive ego. And then when people call me out, I’ll delete the video and mock them like the child I am.’

*cracks open a beer* I don’t care if that’s cruel. He wants to talk like he knows shit? He can take it.

Edit:

https://twitter.com/alle1304/status/1137340212315643904

Well I owe him an apology. Over thinking he was pandering to the hate mob as well as my stupid attitude.

However I still stand by a lot of what I said: He missed a LOT of opportunities to make a good point and instead went with the lowest common denominator stuff. Like with making the joke about Weiss hating Ruby. It’s not funny because the joke is based on heavily outdated information and is just blatantly untrue.

There’s a reason why his ‘Welcome to *Website*’ videos are funny. Because while it is an exaggeration of what happens on the websites, it’s still basically true. Humor works when it strikes hard, either by throwing something so absurd at you that you’re forced to laugh because you don’t understand it, so raunchy that you laugh at the absurdity in which something so wrong was said so earnestly or by saying something so true that you’re forced to laugh to make light of the situation.

Jello’s video doesn’t do any of that. It either says a bunch of basic stuff that doesn’t work with knowledge or is saying things in a satricial way that people , EARNESTLY say, basically invoking Poe’s Law on himself. (The law of ‘Without a clear indication, a satire of X can easily been taken as an earnest belief in X.’)

This isn’t to say I was justified in what I did: it’s just even in a rational state of mind, the video is too flawed to be funny.

(Also no, I don’t regret what I said about the Vote video.)

33 notes · View notes

ournewoverlords · 5 years

Link

Booksmart slaps. It’s just a huge amount of fun to watch - the key word here for me is “good-natured”. This is a good-natured movie that teases and pokes fun at a lot of people - a lot of *kinds* of people, from the queer drama kids to the dopey jocks to the Gen Z overachieving feminist types who have pictures of Michelle Obama on their wall and can quote Susan B Anthony from memory - without ever making fun of anyone in a mean-spirited way, and highlighting that no one is ever “just” their tribe. The ending ties the story up neatly with a feel-good bow about how no one is really what they seem on the surface, especially not in high school, when everyone’s trying so hard to be invulnerable… which also means they can’t be *seen*. There’s a lot of great character work here that I think could’ve been fleshed out even more (the 1 hour 45 min runtime feels shockingly short in the day and age of Endgame) but still feels natural and sincere, and the huge array of secondary characters - real characters, not just insert-famous-cameos - gives this movie not just humor but so much life and buoyancy.

(Warning: light spoilers beneath cut)

What keeps it from reaching the top tier for me, though, is that it somehow still feels like something I’ve seen before, even though the window dressing is so different. It’s definitely rare to see female best-friendship displayed so frankly, genuinely, and *hilariously* on the big screen, and I can’t remember another movie where the nerdy valedictorian is a boss and knows it, not to mention one where one of them is a lesbian (my young baby lesbian Amy!! protect that cinnamon roll), but the story of two blood-sworn, childhood-, everything-friends reaching the last chapter of their adolescence together in fun and games and boozy celebration, all while the fear of how they’ll face the great unknown without the other is this silent undercurrent churning beneath… that feels familiar to me? That doesn’t keep me from loving this particular theme, because it IS a great one, I just mean it’s not as original as Ladybird, so it lends itself to comparison more easily.

Superbad, for instance. I actually kinda hate how every review (including the one linked here, which is totally in line with my sentiments) keeps calling this “the female Superbad”. Yes, it’s a coming-of-age comedy about two friends at the end of the senior year trying to go out with a bang together, and yes, it’s a little raunchy, and yes, it really is all about the friendship between the two main characters at its core… but the whole texture, color, and point of Booksmart are completely different.

By texture, I mean that even as the two girls are the “heroes” of this quest, it’s still interested in the characters outside them, such that you really get the sense that they are their own people, with their own lives and inner life. In the briefest of screentimes you grasp instantly why someone like Molly would be attracted to easygoing jock Nick (but then connects to the hopelessly-messy-but-sweet Jared), and why Amy likes the skatergirl with the big toothy grin. The other kids and love interests aren’t just vessels for Molly and Amy’s own awakenings. In fact, some of them have their own troubles, and they’re all really pretty good kids.

It’s interested in the way that the two mains are, in their own way, not the most perfect people. How the world’s really not out to get them; in fact, they’re the ones who have to learn to fit into it. I talk more about this below, but this was the part I liked the most, because it feels particularly true to life in a way that I don’t think I’ve seen in many other coming-of-age narratives, much less light-hearted comedies.

Speaking of light-hearted, the whole tone of the humor is waay different from Superbad’s too. It’s funny as hell, which is probably the most important thing at the end of the day — there were a few scenes that had me and my entire theater howling — but amazingly for a coming-of-age comedy, I remember very few of the jokes being gross-out or sexual, or even all that cringe. Booksmart mines a lot of physical humor just in their sheer facial expressions (if a picture is a thousand words, Beanie Feldstein’s face does the work of a thousand punchlines), but it’s mostly the little throw-away lines and hilarious sketches (the attempted robbery in the car! Amy’s overly-well-meaning parents! everything GiGi and Jared do) that string everything together and carry the day. That’s not to say that there aren’t serious moments that are given due weight too — Amy under the water, submerged in that song is just an absolutely beautiful shot.

It reminds me a little of Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade, which I think is a more interesting comparison than Superbad here. Booksmart tries to capture some of that raw realness that Eighth Grade had, underneath all the silliness and humor; it is, in many ways, about how hard it is to be vulnerable to someone else, even (especially) the people you love. It pulls at a lot of strands and among them are the idea that this is what high school is really like, that to be honest all these boys (and girls!) who hold your heart in their clumsy, sweaty fingers will be like leaves in the wind years from now, that standing on the entrance to adulthood isn’t a physical change, it’s not about booze, or losing your virginity, or getting accepted by your peers. Becoming an adult is inner work, alright, but it’s also not work you can do on your own. Because it’s about how you treat yourself, but it’s about how you treat other people too.

But I think where Eighth Grade really succeeds is this it has this kind of specificity to it — it really, really is about this awkward girl, and her lonely existence, and about being a girl who is becoming a woman in a certain context. And that specificity gives it a kind of honesty that rings painfully true to me. Booksmart — probably because it is trying to avoid stereotypes and do something entirely new here, which is totally commendable — almost feels a little too universal. It feels like you could replace Molly and Amy here with dudes, and it wouldn’t be a huge change in dynamics outside the pussy hats and Malalia worship, because these two are defined more by their identities as “overachieving party-pooping best-friend NERDS” than by being girls per se. These are two whipsmart dorks who are best friends, and happen to be female, rather than a portrayal of female best friendship per se. And the other kids treat them that way too: no one gives a shit Molly’s chubby or Amy’s a lesbian, they give a shit that they’re exasperating know-it-alls.

Which is REALLY refreshing. I’m being unfair here — it’s *because* it’s so rare to see female friendships or just girls in general depicted this way on screen that I think it doesn’t quite “fit” my own intuitions about real life. But I’m a weird case of someone who really struggled in high school, and definitely didn’t have friends much less deep ones like theirs, and I bet other women would recognize themselves in these two and their relationship much more. The frank vagina talk and the fact that Molly and Amy are actually really self-assured and even pretty damn well-liked are just super freakin’ cool anyways. In particular I LOVE the way they’re still dorky, in a way I so rarely see female characters allowed to be because female characters written by dudes tend to be so poised and “above” the main male protagonist (probably because the screenwriters are thinking back to their own high-school crushes, who must’ve seemed so mature and unattainable to a nerdy teenage boy).

It goes back to what I said about this being an affectionate, feel-good movie where everyone turns out to be pretty decent in the end. It doesn’t set out to be much more than that, and I’m not sure if I wanted it to be, but I think it’s that fact they didn’t go all out that keeps it from being a 10/10 for me. It’s just very sweet and knowing and funny and always making sure to laugh with these oddball kids, but that same gentleness keeps it from being something great; it’s like you need some claws to expose something “real”.

It’s a little strange to me, for example, that the movie dishes out a lot of high-school tropes — all the kids are playful representatives of some stereotype — but doesn’t seem to have any real bullies, and happily accepts the two not-very-outcasted outcasts at the party with open arms. And the girls each get their heart crushed, but only for like five minutes before they (tbqh) each get an upgrade. Every Gen Z tribe gets represented — from the failing stoner who actually has an offer from Google to the misunderstood school slut to poor Jared, my sweet beautiful mess of an unloved richboy — in this kind of Glee grab-bag kinda way, but without Glee’s sense that what ties us all together is this fucking shared suffering called high school; Booksmart’s high school is more like a utopia where everyone wears what they want and gets to be quirky and different and much cooler than you think in their own individualistic way. (They even have Jessica Williams as a teacher! UGH, so jelly.)

There’s something that’s actually really subversive about this, because 1) no one’s a villain and 2) to the extent that Molly and Amy are unpopular, it’s kinda brought on by themselves. *They* were the ones who chose never to hang out with the other kids, because studying was more important. *They* are the ones who have to learn something. Molly was the one who judged everyone by the school they got into, even as the others never gave a shit about it. Amy came out two years ago, but the reason she’s never had a kiss isn’t so much because she’s a lesbian, but because she’s too timid and unassertive as a person. Molly’s character arc is discovering that she’s too freaking judgey and she needs to stop assuming she knows everything from the cover, Amy’s is to realize herself as her own person outside of the (admittedly powerful) centrifugal force of her best friend.

Those are GREAT ideas for arcs, it’s just that the execution of them didn’t completely land for me — maybe because the jokes were competing so much with the serious bits for screentime, it had to scramble at the end for the moment of character growth. So it didn’t feel fully “earned” to me, even as it worked on the thematic level of truly seeing people when you aren’t blinded by your own assumptions.

Still, it’s a really satisfying movie with a different take on a common trope, and packed with killer lines and secondary characters like Jared that are just so great (he’s one that feels especially on-point to me because I recognize one of my old classmates in him — a great kid, just… swimming through life in a different lane). The cameos by the adult actors — Jessica Williams, Lisa Kudrow, Jason Sudeikis, Will Forte — were predictably fantastic. In fact all the acting and casting was SO GOOD (I found out later that the casting director was the one who did Freaks and Geeks!). I’m impressed by Olivia Wilde in her directorial debut here, it’s clear that she has an ear for comedic beats and some of the shots were wonderful — in a lot of comedies the camera is just kinda static and it’s all talking heads, but here the angles, the POV shots, the longer takes that move in and out of sound add so much dynamism. Excited for what she does next.

#booksmart #booksmart spoiler #booksmart review #olivia wilde

20 notes · View notes

themattress · 6 years

Text

Wow. Tomoko Kanemaki SUCKS!

I decided to be masochistic and read back through the KH2 novels by Tomoko Kanemaki. And I just have to say: that there are actually people out there who like her writing and consider it to be in as good or superior to the games astounds me. These books are awful.

When they just straight-up adapt the game to text like the KH novels and the COM novels (except for the R/R one, but R/R sucks anyway), it’s fine. They even do the visits to Land of Dragons, Beast’s Castle and Olympus Coliseum better than the KH2 manga does, plus swaps in Agrabah for the far more important Port Royal. But that’s the only good thing I can say about them. In literally every other regard, the game and manga are infinitely superior.

The main problem is simple to sum up: Kanemaki is a fanfic writer. A pretty stereotypical KH fangirl. This in of itself wouldn’t be a problem if she weren’t adapting the games, but she is, and when she combines the game adaptations with her own fanfic based on what she wants to see, there is inevitably going to be a clash between them. The story written by Kazushige Nojima that she is adapting to novel form does not gel at all with what she writes, and as a result she has to either change that story (to the detriment of both it and its characters) or she neglects to change it even when it directly contradicts her own writing. This happens so much that it really makes for an excruciating reading experience. So let me list all of my problems with these novels point by point, to clarify just why Kanemaki’s writing fails so hard.

- I’ll get the biggest one out of the way right off the bat: Kanemaki is obsessed - and I mean obsessed - with the existential plight of the Nobodies, which includes the Draco in Leather Pants treatment to Organization XIII (”Is it really wrong to seek what you’ve lost?” is asked at one point, as though it’s a profound question. Um, when you’re doing so by inflicting that exact same loss upon millions of innocent people, yes it is!) The worst part is that characters (usually Namine, but Axel, Riku, Saix, Xemnas and even Ansem the Wise get on it at some points) are constantly repeating the exact same angsty inner monologues and internal (and sometime external) quasi-philosophical debates about Nobodies. I’m not kidding, it’s usually word-for-word. “Is it right for Nobodies to exist?” “Nobodies have nowhere to go or call home”. “Do Nobodies really lack hearts?” “What defines a heart?” “If Nobodies don’t have hearts, then why do they feel such-and-such?” “Why were Nobodies even born?” “Nobodies aren’t meant to exist, but does that still mean...?” And so on and so on, blah, blah, BLAH. Hearing this over and over and over and OVER again throughout my reading of the novels doesn’t make me more sympathetic of the Nobodies, it actually makes me less sympathetic and want them to go away so I don’t have to keep reading the same damn woe-is-me grade school-level existentialism! I want to keep reading about Sora, Donald and Goofy, damn it!

- Three characters who were mostly on the sidelines in KH2 somehow get a majority of time and focus here: Riku, Axel and Namine. They are even forced into an apocryphal trio together. They are basically treated as the de-facto secondary main characters next to Sora, Donald and Goofy, with their actions and development being given equal importance. Actually, that’s a lie - Riku, Axel and Namine are honestly given more importance. There is so much wrong about this - not only does the trio not feel organic and reek of bad fanfic, but each character in it isn’t well portrayed at all compared to the game or even the manga.

- Riku had the most potential, since he’s always a major character and a more talented writer could’ve come up with more feasible things for him to have been doing off-screen during KH2. But what Kanemaki has him do is ridiculous. If it’s not just stalking Sora, Donald and Goofy as a silent protector (which is the least interesting thing you could do with him), it’s bullshit with Axel and Namine, or fighting Saix midway through even though Kanemaki still keeps Saix’s later line of “Didn’t Roxas take care of you?”, or having him fight Xemnas in the Old Mansion only for Ansem the Wise to show up and Xemnas then just...retreat for no reason, letting Ansem live and thus ensuring the later destruction of his Kingdom Hearts like a dumbass! And through all of this, she frequently makes Riku default back into snarky, arrogant asshole mode, which doesn’t fit his character at this point at all. Also, while I saw no deliberate yaoi bait in the writing of the KH2 game, it’s definitely present in these novels.

- Axel. Oh my God. Anyone who hates what was done with him as Lea in the games, you should blame Kanemaki, since she actually ran with that kind of writing and characterization for him in these novels long before that happened in the games. He is treated as a totally trustworthy good guy who is a great friend to Roxas, Riku and Namine. The one dick move Kanemaki has him make is quickly backtracked on and then swept under the rug. His whole villainous role is whitewashed at every turn, from both what he intended with Roxas (legit deciding to kill him is changed to attempting a murder/suicide so that he can die with his best friend) to everything concerning Kairi (no, he didn’t kidnap her at all, that point is hammered in frequently, he was going to take her to Namine and they’d then see Sora together! And he didn’t want to turn Sora into a Heartless, that was a wrongful assumption on Saix’s part! And Saix summoned those Dusks on Destiny Islands, not Axel! Axel is chivalrous and heroic and does everything possible to protect and save Kairi! Gag me.) It’s so obnoxious, and beyond removing all of the character’s edge, it’s a blatant case of giving a character a major role in a story that they aren’t supposed to have one in just because he’s a favorite of the writer.

- Namine is an equally blatant case of this, but her case might be even worse. Not only is she THE source of the repetitive woe-is-me existential Nobody monologues and debates, with her whole character arc being changed to revolve around this which honestly makes her unintentionally unsympathetic and annoying, but this portrayal of her has a negative effect on her in both fandom and canon. In terms of fandom, a cult of bad apples (usually yaoi fangirls who already hated Kairi) arose around Namine following KH2, declaring her as superior to Kairi in every way and worthy of being the real main heroine of the KH series. Not only is this false, but it arguably got started because of these novels (translations of which had made their way online long before they were localized), where a character who literally only got 10 minutes of screentime in the game literally gets transformed into the main heroine and one of the most frequently appearing characters in general, even if her “character development” is horribly written and amounts to her being a mouthpiece for Kanemaki’s views. Then again, maybe they just projected onto Namine due to her introverted, fond-of-drawing nature, and Kanemaki was just one of them and thus produced something that kept them going. It’s a Chicken/Egg type of thing, I guess. But whatever the case, what it did in canon was worse. Kanemaki was the first to write for Namine after KH2, in 358/2 Days, and her characterization of her translated in game form to the stagnant caricatured plot device that Nomura then realized was easy to write for and convenient for making other convoluted plot turns happen.

- Come to think of it, Kanemaki’s partnering up with Nomura for Days probably did a lot more harm than just with Namine. Because her obsession with the “What Measure is a Non-Human?” trope never truly leaves the series after Days. It doesn’t pop up in BBS, since that was being worked on before Days, but everything afterwards is sure to feature it in some abysmal way or another, whether it be Nobodies, replicas, data copies or beings of pure darkness. The “Nobodies have hearts after all” comes straight from her writing (even if she had it as a needless overcomplication of the original idea that strong hearts can share feelings with those without it and thus serve as a heart for them too, while Nomura’s retcon is just “Nah, the body can regrow a heart, Xemnas lied”.) A lot of KH3′s worst writing might have not existed had Nomura not picked up on Kanemaki’s fixation with woobified “non-beings”.

- Sora honestly feels like an afterthought for Kanemaki. She’s so eager to write new fanficcy material for other characters, but not for the actual main protagonist, who only gets straight-up game adaptation. Oh, except that some of his lines that were “mean” to the Nobodies (and thus “OOC”, as both KH2-hating anon and Kanemaki seem to think) are changed or cut out.

- Y’know how the KH2 manga made Kairi even better than her game portrayal? Yeah, well this novel makes her far worse. First off, her defiant “you’re not acting very friendly!” to Axel is cut because Axel is whitewashed in that moment (he even readies himself to defend Kairi from the Dusks which Saix summons). Later, she does not get away from Axel because he was never kidnapping her to begin with here. She then realizes that he’s really a good person before Saix kidnaps her, with Axel desperately trying to protect her. She then only shows up toward the end when Axel once again comes to be her hero (again thwarted by that dastardly Saix), with her moping about how she can do nothing to help the brave, noble Axel. (I feel sick just typing this...) In the finale, not only does Kanemaki not take advantage of the potential Kairi development that the game relegated to optional text boxes, but she actually destroys Kairi’s entire arc long before BBS did by making one of her few additions to Kairi be an inner monologue she has on the shore of Destiny Islands alongside Mickey, Donald and Goofy just before Sora and Riku make it back, where she’s just wishing with all her heart that they’ll come back because “We’re here waiting for you. We’ll always wait for you.” BULL-FUCKING-SHIT. Kanemaki, just like Nomura and Oka, clearly has no interest in Kairi as a character on her own. She is used here as a plot device for the character development of Axel and Namine, characters she is interested in, even though Kairi had more significance and screentime than them by far in the actual KH2 game. Geez, even Nojima tried with her!

- Roxas is written just fine during the prologue, since his scenes are just lifted from the game. But when he resurfaces in the final novel, added material make Axel be the most important thing on his mind. Even his final thoughts as he makes the full merging with Sora is that he hopes to meet Axel again. More deliberate yaoi-baiting, and more shoving Axel down our throats. Hell, that last novel is even named “Anthem - Meet Again / Axel Last Stand”. God damn it, Kanemaki, Axel was not important to KH2. It’s not his story. Get over it already!

- Hey, remember how in the game DiZ/ Ansem the Wise did a total character 180 due to offscreen reasons when he came back after the prologue? That was dumb. The novels add new scenes for him, so Kanemaki could actually rectify this issue....OR she just repeats it, since the first new scene she gives him also has him in 180 mode due to offscreen reasons!

- Xemnas and Saix both have their levels of menace neutered thanks to the existential angst of the Nobodies affecting them too, with none of their inner monologues bemoaning their fates really adding up with their actions. The game let you make up your own mind as to whether you found them sympathetic despite their monstrous behavior, but Kanemaki is clearly trying to force the sympathy angle, and it really lessens them, especially Xemnas.

- Really, only Xigbar, Xaldin, Demyx, Luxord, and the trio of Hayner, Pence and Olette were written completely accurately out of the KH-original cast. Nothing felt out of place with them.

- Other nonsensical fanficcy events besides what I’ve already mentioned include bringing stuff from COM (like Repliku) back up frequently instead of keeping focus on the story at hand, a totally different version of how Namine and Axel split from Riku following the prologue (one that continues making Namine unintentionally unsympathetic), Riku having Mickey make the promise after the prologue before Kanemaki’s own 358/2 Days retcons this to happening before it, Riku meeting with Maleficent in Hollow Bastion, Mickey meeting with Axel in Hollow Bastion, Axel being the one to wake Goofy up after his “death”, Axel having a sort of odd friendship with Pluto, Ansem the Wise being the one to provide the box of clues for Riku to give, Axel pretending to betray Riku and Namine so that he gets let back into the Organization and thus be able to rescue Kairi, meetings between the Organization where they talk about totally different and less interesting matters than they did in the game, and having Namine stalk the group throughout the finale as she thinks her last pretentious inner monologues. Also, given its subject matter and how it plays during Days’ opening, I swear to God that Kanemaki created the Axel/Roxas ghost scene that Nomura added to KH2:FM. That it shows up in the last novel, word-for-word, a month before KH2:FM’s release, proves this.

- The misplacement of Disney Castle. This one REALLY bothers me. She places Disney Castle between Beast’s Castle and Port Royal in the third novel. This makes no sense whatsoever, since not only was this meant to be Maleficent’s re-introduction to Sora, Donald and Goofy, but now it comes after Maleficent already made an alliance with Sora and his friends at Hollow Bastion! And then all of a sudden, she’s no longer keeping the Nobodies at bay and is back to self-interested villainy! And there isn’t any dialogue explaining this away or anything! We still have Maleficent saying “If it isn't the wretched Keyblade holder and his pitiful lackeys!” as if she hadn’t agreed to temporarily join forces with said wretched Keyblade holder and his pitiful lackeys! Way to ruin one of the best Disney world visits, Kanemaki!

- The whole finale and especially the ending itself, which were so powerful in both the game and even the manga, has no power in the light novel style of writing Kanemaki uses. Part of that isn’t Kanemaki’s fault, since so much of the finale’s greatness is visual and that obviously can’t be recaptured in text form. And yet she still makes some baffling pacing decisions, with stuff like the aforementioned Namine stalking passages throwing the whole thing off, LOL moments such as Riku himself outright admitting that he has no idea where he got Kairi’s Keyblade also breaking the immersion, character alterations like to Xemnas and Kairi ruining the effectiveness of things they do, and a truly WTF-inducing final chapter where the entire Secret Ansem Report is put before a novelization of both the credits scene where Sora sees Kairi’s drawing in the Secret Place and the epilogue scene where they get the King’s letter.

Overall, these novels just don’t feel like Kingdom Hearts II to me. Even the KH2 manga, the middle of its first half notwithstanding, felt like it. This does not. And that’s because whatever the faults in its narrative, KH2′s story was first and foremost a fun Disney/Square crossover adventure starring Sora, Donald and Goofy, with angsty existentialism merely being one of its themes and meant more for players to think about and discuss rather than the characters. The novels tell a story about angsty existentialism starring characters who think about and discuss it, with Sora, Donald and Goofy’s adventures being a passionless afterthought. That there are people who honestly think that Kanemaki doing this “fleshes out the characters” is shameful. Constant angst and grade school-level philosophical circle-jerking is not character depth. It is pretension of depth, hence the word “pretentious” which fits perfectly here. It takes a lot more than talking and expressing feelings at length to constitute character development. It requires meaningful actions, and it requires some form of growth and change. Kanemaki’s characters are largely static, simplistically characterized beings who spin their wheels in terms of both actions and growth. Riku does not change: you can barely tell he has any kind of depression or has experienced any kind of humbling. Axel does not change: he’s a great guy from the start and has no internal problems to overcome, only the external one of being separated from Roxas. Namine does not change, she goes through the same questioning and angsting over her existence and the existence of other Nobodies until the last minute where the answer just suddenly comes to her (in fact, it was apparently in her all along and she just forgot it. Shades of Sora’s dumbass “Power of Waking” arc in KH3 here...) Any actual development that happens with some characters (like Ansem the Wise) comes straight from the game...and Nojima didn’t write that all too well either! There is just very little that’s enjoyable about the KH2 novels to me, and Tomoko Kanemaki’s writing is to blame for that.

In the words of Lemony Snicket: I highly advise you to not read these books.

#Disney #Square Enix #Kingdom Hearts #Kingdom Hearts II #Anti-Tomoko Kanemaki #Bad Writing #Opinion #Analysis #Truthbomb #This has been a PSA

12 notes · View notes

incorrecteragonquotes · 6 years

Text

Eragon Movie Recap Part 5: Big Trouble in Little Daret

There’s magic in this one.

We pick up where Part 4 left off. Eragon, Saphira, and Brom have left home, and there’s no turning back now. They may have evaded their pursuers this time, but if all that bickering is any indication, they still have a long and trying path ahead of them.

We begin by returning to Durza’s fort. We get a nice, long look at this sizable yet dingy workshop where Urgals can be found. This is the first time we’ve seen them since the ambush on Arya’s patrol! I wonder how they’re doing.

They look to be doing well enough until Durza himself materializes out of thin air. The guy must run a tight ship, as the whole place goes quiet in an instant. There is one Urgal who missed the memo, though, and he continues with his important mission of sharpening his large, bladed weapon of a type that I cannot identify. His nearby friend gets him to stop after a moment. It’s quite awkward.

Durza walks over to our focused friend, compliments his blade, stabs him in the foot with it, complains about Eragon’s escape, and gives the guy some orders. Durza then dissipates. Say what you like about him, but he sure does know how to keep a schedule.

Meanwhile, in the forest, Brom’s scheming session is in full swing. He claims the best way to evade Durza’s minions and reach the foothills near the Varden’s hideout is to trek over to the reasonably nearby village of Daret. But Eragon’s skepticism may have reached Brom; even he doesn’t seem to have too much faith in his own plan.

Brom gives Saphira some instructions on how to stay safe and hidden. Fly high, only rejoin the group at night, you never know when the Ra’zac may be watching. You know, the usual. Or rather, Brom gives Eragon the instructions, but the instructions are for Saphira. Eragon pulls a classic Yeah Just Do What He Said manoeuver when Brom finishes talking.

Now aware of how to avoid detection, Saphira shares a little bit of sass before promptly departing. She is immediately spotted by the Ra’zac, who are watching from a cliff some distance away.

After about 10 seconds of riding montage, Brom and Eragon hear screams from around a corner. It turns out that some Urgals are attacking a nearby group of random civilians. Brom’s a bit too eager to flee the scene, but Eragon’s a bit too eager to join the fight, which Brom knows isn’t a great idea.

Eragon gets a little cocky when insisting that he’s a trained fighter thanks to his bouts with Roran back on the farm. Brom is visibly excited, while somehow managing to remain simultaneously skeptical, but he still chooses to leave the scene before assessing Eragon’s skills by sparring with him.

Sure enough, they spar by a stream an unspecified distance away after an unspecified amount of time. The bout is implied to be a sort of litmus test for whether or not to participate in the fight with the Urgals, but there’s no way they could get to the sparring ground, finish the bout, and get back to the scene before it’s too late. The terrain is different enough that it can’t reasonably be all that near the Urgals and their victims, who are not seen again. This suggests that these people’s sole purpose in this story was to act as a catalyst for this sparring session. Maybe also to add to the background threat of Durza and friends? I guess we shouldn’t ignore the part where the raid reminds Brom to stay off the main roads. What a noble sacrifice. Maybe the filmmakers were trying to darken the story’s tone here, but it just feels like we lost some perfectly good civilians to a potentially interesting raid that our characters literally walked away from with smiles on their faces.

Regardless, the sparring match is inoffensive enough. They fight with a pair of sizeable wooden sticks. Eragon promises to go easy on Brom because he doesn’t want to hurt an old man, Brom’s clearly in teacher mode, Eragon gets overconfident, Brom gets the upper hand quickly and easily, Brom causes Eragon to lose the bout and get his boot wet in the stream. Brom reminds Eragon that, unlike Eragon’s previous opponents, the enemies they’ll be facing will actually be trying to kill them.

Saphira rejoins the group as they set up camp later in the day. Eragon insists that he Totally Could Have Won That Fight But Didn’t Want To Hurt An Old Man, I Swear. Saphira amusedly voices her doubts.

Brom, meanwhile, is trying to light a fire by hitting a pair of rocks together. When asked, he informs Eragon that Saphira is too young to breathe fire. Eventually getting tired of his repeated failures, Brom stealthily conjures a fire with the power of language. Eragon immediately notices that something is amiss, and questions Brom on the thing he just did. Brom firmly denies the occurrence of any shenanigans.

Uncharacteristically, Eragon doesn’t press the issue. He’s disappointed that Brom doesn’t trust him enough to explain, but Saphira suggests that maybe the whole trust thing is a two-way street, and they should start doing their part as well.

The next day, they set out towards the village of Daret. It’s a long and uneventful journey, and they arrive around dusk. The village is shrouded in mist, and it seems to be built as a series of bridges and platforms on top of some sort of marshy lake. Eragon’s falling asleep on his horse, and even though it mostly seems to be an excuse to show Eragon having another dream about Arya, I think it’s a really neat detail for the filmmakers to have included. Not every movie shows that part of the journey.

Brom shakes Eragon awake so they can enter the village on foot, leaving the horses at the entrance. Brom strikes out on his own to go wrangle some information out of the locals, and Eragon wanders off alone. He is tasked with buying bread and talking to nobody. After a few seconds, Eragon notices a mysteriously cloaked figure a few platforms away. They look at each other for a moment, but the establishment of eye contact prompts Eragon escapes the situation by entering the nearest door and hoping for the best.

On the other side of the door, Eragon finds himself in a dimly lit hut featuring many modest but homely decorations. Eragon immediately moves to touch the dragon-shaped handle of some sort of basin. The resident of the hut takes this opportunity to jumpscare Eragon by suddenly walking out from some back corner of the tiny room. Her clothes are loud and jangly, and she speaks in the third person. Introducing herself as Angela, she offers to read Eragon’s fortune.

Saddened, Eragon laments that he has no money. Angela scolds him, as she is apparently doing this for fun. And for free! She shakes her bag of dragon knucklebones out onto a table, her eyes go all milky, and she begins spouting vague and elaborate descriptions that generally boil down to either “you are important and so is your destiny!” or “you are powerful and so are your enemies!”. Eragon clings to her every word.

There are two meaningful pieces of information. Firstly, a tragic death is imminent! Eragon is unfazed. It happened back at home, after all, didn’t it? Secondly, there is a girl! She’s super important, and she’s calling to him. Eragon realizes that this must be the girl he’s seen in his dreams, and asks Angela to tell him her name. Angela closes her eyes, bows her head, breathes deeply, and the scene cuts to outside the hut, leaving it unclear how much information, if any, was disclosed.

I would like to take a moment to note that Book Angela lives with a werecat named Solumbum. His impact on the first book is minimal, but he eventually comes to play a crucial role in the story. There is no sign of a cat in this scene, nor in the rest of this movie. While the filmmakers could introduce him later, the level of teamwork between him and Angela, such as his interest in Eragon being the thing that prompts her to do the fortune reading, makes it important that he be introduced here. Regardless, the writers will need to work overtime later if they want his exclusion from this scene to work in their favour.

Upon exiting the hut, Eragon manages to walk about three steps before being attacked by an Urgal. A few seconds later, Brom appears and solves the problem for him.

Brom is not thrilled about Eragon’s fascination with his fortune. While Eragon keeps pestering him about how he’s been told his future, Brom gets a few good quips in as he drags Eragon to the outskirts of town. The residents are nowhere to be seen. Urgals are coming from every which way now, including beneath the floorboards, and our heroes find themselves quickly surrounded. Desperate, Eragon fires an arrow while shouting the word that he heard Brom use to start the fire. As a result, the arrow is fired in a spectacularly fiery manner.

The arrow causes quite the explosion, but it does little to affect the Urgals outside the blast radius. Drained, Eragon faints. He manages to stay awake just long enough to see that Saphira’s here to save the day.

That’s it for Part 5! This part covered about 10 minutes of screentime. Things actually happened this time! After Part 4, this change of pace is both wild and welcome. We’ve even got some new characters, some of whom we’ll even see again later! What an exciting time!

Remember to tune in next week when we visit such questions as “how does Angela wash such loud clothing?”, “has Brom ever experienced appreciation?”, and “will Eragon perfect his battle strategy of shooting a fire arrow and fainting?”. See you then!

#eragon #inheritance cycle #eragon movie #stuff actually happens this time it's weirding me out #eragon movie recap #eragon shadeslayer #durza #saphira #brom #murtagh #angela #long post #sorry mobile users #mod zar'roc

130 notes · View notes

anneapocalypse · 7 years

Text

On Carolina, Epsilon, and Mutual Isolation

@blaze-edge asked:

Okay, Anne, question abt your 'AIs always isolate their hosts' post. I've kind of been thinking abt it on and off since I read it, but was it Epsilon that really isolated Carolina from the Reds and Blues? I could totally be missing smth here bc my memory is bad but wasn't she the one that convinced him to go out and find the missing Freelancer tech? I know you said that Carolina didn't stop to get to know everybody until after Epsilon was gone but that was also after everything on Chorus was all wrapped up. No more mercs with Freelancer gear they shouldn’t have, no more Hargrove, no more civil war. Say, if after s10 they’d all actually gone back to Blood Gulch, do you think Carolina would’ve stayed isolated? Genuinely curious abt your thoughts here.

This is a good question and it’s going to be a complex answer, and a long one.

First, I feel like I can’t really answer this without addressing that elephant in the room, the authorial decision to leave Carolina out of the first half of the trilogy. I mean, I could but I’m not going to. Carolina’s isolation from the Reds and Blues during the first half of the Chorus trilogy can be discussed without addressing the decision to keep her offscreen almost entirely during that time, and I realize that they are two separate discussions; I just want to address both of them.

So, let’s get the Doylist side of things out of the way first. If you’re not here for that please feel free to just skip ahead to the Watsonian section, which will be loudly delineated for your convenience below!

Authorial Decisions and the Problem of the Epilogue

It’s entirely possible we wouldn’t be having this discussion at all if not for the season 10 epilogue. Watched in isolation, it’s incredibly obvious that the epilogue was written with no idea what season 11 would be about. The dialogue that leads into the epilogue suggests not that the Reds and Blues are stranded on a strange planet, but that they have gone home to Blood Gulch.

Carolina: What about your teams? What will happen to them?

Church: Well there’s still one place we haven’t visited. Somewhere we can make a home.

Carolina: Show me.

And when next we cut back Epsilon and Carolina, it’s the epilogue, now shot in Halo 4, in which Carolina and Epsilon are overlooking a vaguely Blood Gulchy looking canyon as the Reds and Blues run around below.

Carolina: Seems like they’re getting settled.

Church: Yup.

Carolina: So I guess everything is finally getting back to normal.

Church: What passes for normal around here, sure. What can I tell ya? We’re home. I mean, they’re home.

So anyway, this didn’t happen.

There’s no plausible continuity in which this conversation actually takes place on Chorus after a devastating ship crash in which the Reds and Blues are the only survivors out of thousands, on a planet they know nothing about. The above dialogue has been retconned to the point that there is no way to reconcile it with the canon that followed. This scene was clearly supposed to indicate that the Reds and Blues had returned to Blood Gulch, and Carolina and Epsilon were about to leave on a new mission of their own, knowing that the Reds and Blues were home and safe.

It’s not a question of “Is this action in-character,” it’s a matter of “Outside of its intended context, a context that no longer exists, this dialogue straight up does not make any sense.” I am that obnoxious person who will go to just about any lengths to reconcile continuity for the purposes of my own writing, and I am saying here and now: as of season 12 canon, the above conversation did not happen. Like we’re past Recovery One and into season 9 trailer levels of did not happen.

So to answer one of your questions from an out-of-universe perspective: Yes, if the Reds and Blues had actually returned to Blood Gulch, Carolina and Epsilon would still have left--because that was the original intent. The Reds and Blues were going to be back in Blood Gulch, and Carolina and Epsilon were going to leave.

In spite of retconning all the content of that conversation that established the obviously-intended setting, tone, and context of that epilogue, the decision was made to keep the point of Epsilon and Carolina taking off and leaving the Reds and Blues without saying goodbye. (Without saying a word, and yet somehow Wash and everyone else seem to be aware they just ran off on their own, instead of being worried they might be, you know, in trouble, or dead.)

And thus we have a season and a half where Carolina and Epsilon are not only shoved offscreen and denied further character development, but the one piece of characterization we can draw from their actions paints them both in what is almost certainly a much worse light than that epilogue originally intended.

When they do return--well, we’ll get to that, but I think it bears remembering that Carolina on Chorus is so detached from the Reds and Blues onscreen that we have discussion spanning years in this fandom over which team she is actually on, because while blocking fairly clearly aligns her with Blue Team (yes, even on Chorus), she has so few meaningful interactions with other members of Blue Team that in the minds of a lot of viewers, she might as well not be there. And it’s no coincidence that Carolina’s season 13 subplot is almost entirely isolated from the rest of the main cast, and has very little to do with Chorus directly.

And by the time we get to season 13 and Miles starts consciously trying to give Carolina character development, he’s dropping things that, while Feels™-inducing, have not been properly planted throughout the trilogy. Carolina thinking of the Reds and Blues as family is planted very hastily in the beginning of season 13. Her physical gesture of comfort toward Kimball strongly suggests familiarity between them, yet this has not been set up at all, as they have barely shared screentime or even spoken one on one. And because these elements have not been properly planted, their payoffs are confusing, and become difficult to interpret in-universe, which we’ll get to in a minute.

Even Carolina fighting side-by-side with Wash in “Great Destroyers” comes very much out of the blue, when there has been almost zero interaction between them for most of the three seasons. And this, I think, highlights the greatest narrative tragedy for these characters, which is that neither Epsilon nor Carolina ever get any real resolution with Wash. There is no conversation about their histories, no sharing of their pain, no acknowledgment of the ways they have been hurt and hurt one another. Wash and Epsilon never discuss what happened between them in Freelancer, to the point that we, the viewers, still don’t really know--and Epsilon dies without the show ever giving them that closure. We don’t get to see Wash’s initial reaction to Carolina being alive, and so we don’t really know how he feels about it at the time. We see them fight together with near-seamless cohesion at the end of 13, but their relationship lacks a kind of emotional continuity that can only come from letting them acknowledge their shared history directly.

So all of that is why we are where are. From an in-universe perspective, then, what can we take from this mess?

ALL ABOARD THE WATSONIAN TRAIN, PLEASE MIND THE GAP.

Here’s what this post is actually about:

Carolina and Epsilon’s relationship during season 10 and the Chorus trilogy, and how, while they are positive forces in one another’s lives in some ways, they also keep one another isolated.

I say “keep one another isolated.” Two critical points here:

It goes both ways.

They’re both already isolated when they meet.

To expand on point 2, by the time Carolina meets Epsilon, she has been isolated for a long time. She watched her team fall apart around her in Freelancer, was betrayed and attacked by multiple teammates, was left for dead by her own father, and spent several years in hiding before resurfacing to find closure. Carolina’s relationship with Epsilon by no means creates her isolation. What it does is prolong it, by delaying the formation and reconciliation of other meaningful relationships in her life.

Equally important is Epsilon’s own isolation, though it’s a bit more subtle. @epsilontucker pointed out once that Epsilon coming to identify as “Church” following his reactivation by Caboose didn’t just happen--it was a process. Epsilon’s struggle is that he both is and is not Church. He takes on the Church identity as bestowed upon him by Caboose. He accepts Caboose’s stories as if they were his own memories (which creates its own problems, notably passing on Caboose’s dislike of Tucker and causing significant friction between Tucker and Epsilon). But he is not Alpha. Nor does he have Alpha’s attachment to the rest of the Reds and Blues, not right away. Epsilon spends most of season 8 figuring out his own identity and pursuing his own goals--most notably, recreating Tex from his memories--and as recently as the end of season 8, Epsilon says of the others, “You know, they’re not really my friends.” His time in the memory unit, while surrounded by facsimiles of the Reds and Blues, is devoting to resolving his relationship with Tex. And when the Reds and Blues pull him out of the memory unit, he’s not terribly pleased. He only really makes an effort to connect with the others in 10 out of a mistrust of Carolina and Wash, and that connection, as we will discuss, is tenuous.

I want to make it clear here that I don’t believe either of them at any point do anything deliberately to hurt one another. Epsilon loves Carolina. In fact I think he loves her as dearly as he has ever loved anyone--yes, including Tex. And I think Carolina cares deeply for him too. Relationships can have unhealthy elements without warranting that a-word. This is not an abusive relationship; I wouldn’t even go so far as to call it a toxic one necessarily, though it might have toxic elements at times.

I would characterize it as an intense and insular relationship, of the sort in which two people may both mirror and intensify some of each other’s bad habits--and in their case, these habits have an isolating effect on both of them. I’ll stress again that I think the effect in their case (and probably in the case of other human-AI partnerships too, but that’s another post) is reflexive. It’s not just one of them doing it to the other, consciously or otherwise; it’s the effect of their partnership on both of them.

It’s true that a lot happens on Chorus, and all the characters are kept busy. But that doesn’t prevent, for example, Wash from having significant moments with Caboose and Tucker, or the Reds having moments with one another. Carolina and Epsilon’s isolation is somewhat unique to them. And it begins long before Chorus.

Present-Day Season 10

Carolina and Epsilon first connect mid-season 10, when Epsilon, concerned about her plans for the Reds and Blues, covertly follows her to the site of York’s death in hopes of learning more. His plan backfires when he reveals himself accidentally and incurs Carolina’s very justified anger for invading her privacy at a deeply personal moment. But by sharing York’s salvaged logs, Epsilon is able to get Carolina to open up.

This encounter changes both of them. Carolina decides that Epsilon can be trusted, and starts making him her first point of contact. While her relationship with Wash is already rocky, this certainly uh, exacerbates it.

Once Epsilon gets close to Carolina, he discards the connection he’d begun to build with the Reds and Blues almost immediately. He starts riding around in Carolina’s armor and withholding information from the others just as she does. Far from bridging the gulf between Carolina and the Reds and Blues, Epsilon exacerbates the situation by simply jumping over to her side, becoming impatient with the others for not blindly following along. This culminates in the disastrous attempt at a mission briefing in the holochamber, where Carolina resorts to threats of violence to maintain control of the situation, and Epsilon viciously lashes out at the Reds and Blues, alienating everyone, even Caboose.

In this scene we see both Carolina and Epsilon react to a situation that brings up past trauma for both of them. The Reds and Blues rejecting her authority is reminiscent of Carolina’s old Freelancer team fragmenting, losing cohesion, becoming insubordinate, and in a few cases outright betraying her. His companions walking away from something so important to him clearly brings up something painful for Epsilon too, evident especially in the way he lashes out at Wash.

I do want to note a difference in how they react: Carolina threatens, but she’s straightforward. Epsilon fights dirty. When he’s angry at his friends, he dredges up whatever he can think of to hurt them, and I think this is again, a side effect of the fact that he both is and is not Church. He has the knowledge of their history, but doesn’t yet have the affection that comes with time and familiarity, and that can be a very ugly combination. Though Carolina is stunned to see Wash turn on her, it isn’t Carolina who drags up painful history to hurt him back. It’s Epsilon. Though we’re missing a lot of context for what exactly happened, we know that his removal from Wash wasn’t Wash’s choice, and so there’s a sense of something distinctly unfair about what he says.

“So that's it, you're just gonna turn your back on us? No, no, you're right. You know, I guess I should've seen that one coming. It's not exactly like you're new to the concept, is it?”

Carolina and Epsilon’s past traumas resurface in this scene, and they both react very badly, and hurt the people they care about and who care about them. This is the paradox, perhaps, of this kind of intense and insular relationship. Carolina and Epsilon find that they relate to each other deeply, as they uncover the shared pain of their histories with Project Freelancer and how those histories intersect. And in a very real sense, they do need each other--Epsilon needs a friend he chooses for himself rather than one attempting to mold him into the perfect best friend they want him to be. Carolina needs someone who will go to bat for her even when she is far from being her best self.

But neither of them, at this point, are healed enough or self-aware enough to recognize the harm they are doing others. Rather than balancing each other, they amplify each other’s pain and also each other’s displacement of that pain. They’re both Churches. They share some of the same bad habits. Like shutting people out emotionally, and like lashing out at people close to them when they’re hurt.

And so they lash out at their companions, including the one person in the best position to understand and sympathize with both of them, the one person who has been supporting both of them even when they’re hurting him, who does not object until he feels he has no other choice: Wash.

Wash understands what both Epsilon and Carolina have been through in a way the Reds and Blues simply cannot. Whatever he went through with Epsilon, we can only imagine it was deeply traumatic for both of them. Whatever his emotions about Carolina being alive after he thought she was dead for so long, it’s enough that it drives him to want to help her, right up until he simply can’t go along anymore, and we shouldn’t discount what it probably costs him to stand up to her. Wash needs resolution with both of them, desperately. But neither of them will allow that resolution to happen, because in clinging so close to each other, they shut everyone else out, including Wash.

Of course, it doesn’t end there. The Reds and Blues show up after all, and help Carolina and Epsilon make it to the Director. It’s made clear, though, that they’re doing this for Church, not for Carolina. It’s Caboose’s sadness over losing his best friend all over again that prompts Tucker’s change of heart, and then one by one the others follow. Even Wash, it’s pretty clear, goes along not for Carolina or for Church, but for the Reds and Blues. After all, they gave him a second chance, and if they’ve decided to make this their fight, then he’ll be at their side.

And though no one says it to her directly, Carolina surely knows this. She knows they didn’t come for her.

In some ways, Wash was lucky. The worst things he did were worse than what Carolina did--Wash, after all, actually pulled the trigger. Twice. But what he did was witnessed only by the Reds and Doc. And it’s Caboose who forcibly adopts Wash into Blue Team--Caboose who knows nothing of what Wash has done, and simply longs for a surrogate best friend. He puts Wash in Church’s armor and calls him Church. Who Wash is and what he’s done is basically incidental.

But everyone gets to see Carolina at her worst, and so she doesn’t get the kind of forceful adoption Wash does. And season 10 ends, not with Carolina having become one of the Reds and Blues, but with Carolina and Epsilon standing alone--and then deciding to leave.

I start from season 10 because I want to make the point that Carolina and Epsilon are not isolated on Chorus because they leave at the end of season 10. They leave because they are already isolated--because neither of them feel like they belong.

It’s true that it’s Carolina who suggests hunting down stolen Freelancer tech. However, I think what Epsilon says before she ever makes that suggestion is equally important. Even though practically speaking this conversation has been mostly retconned out of existence, it’s still worth paying attention to because it shows where both Carolina and Church are emotionally following season 10.

“What can I tell you,” Church says. “We're home. I mean, they're home.”

Even the blocking of the shot reinforces this sentiment. Carolina and Epsilon are standing alone at the cliff’s edge, watching the Reds and Blues from a distance, commenting on how things are getting back to normal for them. And however we might reinterpret or overwrite this dialogue to make it fit with Chorus canon, one thing is clear: neither Carolina nor Epsilon believe that this is their home, that they belong.

With Carolina, it’s easy to see why: she has not been a friend to them and she knows that even in the end they did not come for her. Epsilon is bit more complicated. Why, after his friends risked so much to come back for him, twice, does he decide to leave them? I think Epsilon, at this point, still feels that his position on Blue Team has been usurped by Wash. And after the way he treated his friends, I think he still feels a certain amount of shame. He’s not sure he belongs.

And so the two of them hang back. Neither of them so much as speak to any of the others after the confrontation with the Director. We hear them thank each other for what they’ve come through together, but not the others. They have a conversation in which they reinforce each other’s sense of not belonging, of being unwanted by anyone but each other. And then they leave, and don’t say goodbye--almost as if they don’t really believe they’ll be missed.

Which, as we later learn, is not true.

But I think the ways things end in season 10 leaves both Carolina and Epsilon feeling like they only really have each other. And this begins a pattern of them sticking to each other while keeping everyone else at a distance.

Season 12

We get a brief snippet of Carolina and Epsilon’s time wandering Chorus alone, and from these flashbacks we can gain a few insights about their relationship as well as how they’re doing individually. Epsilon’s bullet time sequence, in particular, tells us a lot. We learn that Carolina does not sleep well and has nightmares about Sigma--whose memory is still a part of Epsilon, with whom Carolina shares brainspace. We see Epsilon himself eager to brush off these difficulties, insisting to himself, “She’s fine, don’t worry about it.” We see that he can’t fully control the manifestations of his own fragments, as seen when he has to push away Omega. We see that he gets flustered by the many voices talking at once, even though they’re all him.

And we hear him say that he gets lonely sometimes.

Incidentally, there’s never any clear indication that Carolina knows Epsilon talks to his own fragments this way, or that she can hear him doing it. It’s also worth noting that she doesn’t actually take all of his advice in the ensuing fight (she vaults over the door and uses it as a weapon, rather than staying in cover behind it) but this might be just because they briefly lost connection.

All of this lays the groundwork for the cracks that will start to show in Carolina and Epsilon’s bond in season 13.

It is when Carolina and Epsilon return to the story, and to the Reds and Blues, that we see the continued effects of their prolonged isolation.

It’s clear they still do care about the Reds and Blues. The minute their intel leads them to believe their friends are in danger, Epsilon says, “We have to go back,” and Carolina doesn’t disagree. Yet as soon as they are reunited, Epsilon is calling Tucker a “whiny bitch” for being upset about being left alone and kidnapped by mercenaries.

Initially Carolina largely stays out of their bickering. Soon after they all reunite, she runs off with Epsilon to study the new weapons, rebuffing offers of help. She barely says anything in season 12 that isn’t tactical. The rest of Blue Team’s beef seems to be with Church, and Carolina largely seems to agree, not speaking up to take sides, and no one directs their anger toward her even though she left them just as much as Epsilon did. No one seems to have any feelings about Carolina, positive or negative; emotionally, it’s almost like she’s not even there.

But this is where we come back to Epsilon’s staggering lack of empathy toward his supposed friends. His behavior toward Tucker in particular is shitty in a way that Tucker absolutely does not deserve. The data transfer disaster at Crash Site Alpha brings the tension between Tucker and Epsilon to a head, when Tucker aborts the transfer early out of fear for all of their lives, and Epsilon explodes at him--insisting he knew that they only needed a few more seconds, even though a minute before, he said he didn’t know how long it would take.

(Tangent: Tucker’s comment about how Church couldn’t find the zoom on the sniper rifle could only be about Alpha, therefore Tucker is still trying to apply what he knows about Alpha to Epsilon, and he hasn’t fully grasped the fact that Epsilon has different capabilities than Alpha because Epsilon actually knows he’s an AI.)

It’s not just that Epsilon doesn’t know what Tucker’s been through while he and Carolina have been gone. It’s that he doesn’t care. He doesn’t ask. He doesn’t try to understand, and when Tucker tries to explain, Epsilon insults and belittles him. Once again, Epsilon consistently hits below the belt when he’s angry, lashing out at people who care about him using whatever he knows will hurt them. And as soon as he realizes his behavior is making things uncomfortable with the whole group, he declares that “shit’s getting weird” and runs off with Carolina to avoid dealing with it. Even Carolina sounds exhausted when she announces they’re going to check the perimeter.

Tucker is then guilt-tripped by Caboose into apologizing for basically nothing, because Caboose always takes Church’s side (and the codependent nature of Caboose’s relationships with his best friends could be an essay in itself).

This is the first time (and the only time in season 12) that we see Carolina bring up Epsilon’s behavior. She doesn’t quite call him out, but she does express incredulity that Epsilon never actually apologizes to Tucker, despite his own conscience (in the form of Theta) telling him he should. Epsilon deflects this super hard with the whole “We’re dudes” thing, which Tucker then goes along with. Playing his refusal to apologize as a sign of masculinity is, intentionally or not, really manipulative and really effective against Tucker who is struggling hard with his own insecurities in season 12.

It’s really no surprise that Tucker has already started leaning on Wash as an emotional support as soon as they’re reunited--despite the tension between Tucker and Wash back at the crash site, and despite how he has missed Church. Tucker misses Church right up until he remembers what the present Church is actually like.

Which brings us back to Wash, whose distance from both Carolina and Epsilon is perhaps the most glaring of any character. Of course there’s no guarantee that he would have a real conversation with either of them even if they weren’t joined at the brain--he is, after all, not great at “emotional stuff.” But it certainly makes it more difficult.

When Carolina chastises Wash for accepting Freckles from Locus, Epsilon joins in, neither of them quite understanding what Freckles means to Caboose, and what getting him back for Caboose meant to Wash. There’s no question that Carolina and Epsilon care about Caboose; we see this in the way Carolina (and presumably Epsilon since he runs her armor mods) springs into action on a wounded leg to save Caboose from a pirate. It’s not a lack of caring. But there’s a disconnect there all the same.

In episode 17, Carolina and Epsilon lay out three options for their next step with both armies converging on the capital for a final fight to the death. It’s Wash who comes up with the fourth option of putting the Reds and Blues on the ship home while he and Carolina stay behind, an option Epsilon and Carolina hadn’t yet heard, suggesting the three of them didn’t discuss these plans all together.

Carolina and Wash seem to have no problem working together, and Wash doesn’t even particularly seem to avoid Epsilon (note how he follows Carolina off to patrol the perimeter after Epsilon’s outburst in 12.16, knowing full well Epsilon is with her). They just don’t talk. And we see firsthand with Tucker just how impossible it is for anyone to talk to either Carolina or Epsilon privately.

There’s an additional significance to the option Wash presents, in that it very likely represents a worst-case scenario for everyone. While we can’t know for sure, this option seems incredibly likely to get everyone killed--the Reds and Blues by walking straight into a trap, the Freelancers and Epsilon by simply being outnumbered and outgunned. I think there’s a really important message we can take from the fact that they consider that option, and reject it. “Never split the party” is an adventure game truism for a reason. The first half of the Chorus trilogy involves the party being split into multiple pieces and while we get some great character development out of that for the Reds and Blues, ultimately the goal is to get everyone back together because together they are the strongest. This is an important theme, and comes up even more prominently in season 13.

The cooperation between Tucker and Epsilon to entrap Felix at the end of 12 is a high point, and shows that, however incomplete their reconciliation might have been, their teamwork is vital to their success. It’s the first time Epsilon rides with anyone other than Carolina since season 10. And I think it’s worth noting that it was Tucker who reached out to smooth things over, not Epsilon--and if Tucker hadn’t done it, it probably wouldn’t have happened at all.

Still, season 12 closes with Epsilon and Carolina celebrating their victory alone, down at Kimball’s thinking spot and away from the others, for no apparent reason.

It’s clear that Carolina has developed some positive feelings toward the Reds and Blues, but it’s also clear she’s still holding them at a distance--that she still doesn’t really believe herself to be one of them. As for Epsilon, he really seems to consider her his team, even more than the Blues. Both of them seem to believe, genuinely, that they mostly work better on their own.

It isn’t inherently a bad thing that they’re close. But it also make it very easy for them to emotionally shut everyone else out--after all, they always have each other. They are literally in each other’s heads. Carolina struggles to open up as it is--why should she make the effort to express her feelings to anyone else, when Epsilon already knows what she’s thinking? And Epsilon seems to feel the same, remaining so closed off in his conversation with Tucker that even Carolina notices.

But even if they do only open up to each other, is that really a problem? Well… yeah. For both of them, and for the rest of their team. Epsilon’s friction with Tucker has real consequences. Perhaps if he and Carolina were actually communicating to the others what the two of them pass back and forth automatically in their shared brainspace, Tucker wouldn’t have panicked and aborted the data transfer early. What they’ve missed and what they do not share creates a rift between them and the rest of the team, and that affects how they all work together.

We see even more why it’s a problem in season 13.

Season 13

Early in 13 we finally do see Carolina forming some connections with the Reds and Blues--not just running missions, but laughing and joking with them. (It’s also worth noting that this is the first time since the reunion that we see them form squads for missions not based on their Red and Blue teams; Carolina’s out working with Sarge and Tucker.)

This scene shows us that Carolina is getting more comfortable with the group but still has a long way to go--particularly evident when her attempt at a joke goes over like a lead balloon. All this time since season 10 and she hasn’t actually been around the Reds and Blues long enough at a stretch to have picked up on the fact that “bow chicka bow wow” is Tucker’s personal catchphrase. Her sense of humor and desire to be playful is emerging, but she hasn’t worked out all the social dynamics of this group yet.

We can see right from the beginning of this season that something is eating at Carolina. That she’s still pushing herself hard in training might not be particularly noteworthy, but there’s more than just her usual perfectionism behind it. In season 12, she doesn’t really let on just how rattled she is by Felix getting the jump on her; it’s in 13 that we start to see that it’s still really bothering her. She sounds uneasy when Wash talks about them taking care of the mercs, and at the portal she’s eager for a rematch even with a construct of Felix. She needs to find her confidence again.

It’s Carolina’s experience inside the portal that highlights just why she’s so rattled. Separated even from Epsilon and forced to watch all of her friends new and old die, Carolina is forced to face her greatest fear, and face it alone. It’s not just a fear of failure. It’s a fear of letting everyone down, losing everyone she loves.

That fear closes Carolina off. From everyone, including Epsilon. When pressed about what she saw, she responds with her primary defense mechanism, anger. Though she and Epsilon share a certain amount of brainspace, it’s clear they don’t share everything, because it’s not until much later that Carolina tells him what she saw.

Epsilon is able to keep things from her, too--despite everything we, the audience, learned about him from his bullet time sequence in 12, Carolina herself does not seem to realize Epsilon is having processing issues until late in 13.

And it’s these things, the things they have kept both from each other and from everyone else, that cause problems for Carolina and Epsilon at a critical point. The intense, insular partnership that has allowed them to shut everyone else out has also allowed both of them to avoid introspection--to avoid being honest even with themselves and with each other. The portal fractures Carolina’s already shaken confidence, and it takes only a few strategic words for Sharkface to seed doubt in her mind. While she and Epsilon argue over strategy, it’s Dr. Grey who comes up with the plan that saves them.

This tension culminates in the disastrous confrontation with Sharkface on the mountain, when Carolina takes his bait and leaves her team behind. I want to recall their season 12 dynamic here--both in the flashback episode and directly following the fight with Felix. In both cases, Carolina and Epsilon both blame each other for what goes wrong. There’s a playful, teasing element to that, of course. But we can hear a similar tone in their smug banter after Carolina knocks Sharkface down the first time, when Epsilon chides her for stroking her ego and Carolina retorts, “Oh please, like you’re one to talk.” Neither of them are particularly wrong there, either. But they’re both so busy ribbing each other that neither of them notice Sharkface rising out of the snow--and he gets the jump on both of them.

And as the tide of the battle turns, Carolina panics. I don’t think there’s any other way to interpret her calling for all of her armor mods at once--especially since some of them, like the adaptive camo, don’t really do her any good in this situation. She overestimates Epsilon’s raw processing power, and yes, she absolutely pushes him too hard. Certainly no harder than she pushes herself. But being made out of numbers means Epsilon can’t push through the pain of an injury and deal with the consequences later. When his memory space is gone, it’s just gone.

And thus their teamwork breaks down, Epsilon fails at a critical moment, and Carolina falls off a cliff.

This, a near-death experience, is what it takes to get them to share their deepest struggles even with each other.

To Carolina’s credit, she’s the one who pushes for a serious talk, and even then, she has to pry it out of Epsilon. He puts up one hell of an effort to avoid the subject and deflect with humor, something Carolina has never appreciated at tense moments. (You see the same thing with York during the Freelancer seasons.) There’s something heartbreaking about how difficult they both find it to open up like this, because when you come down to it, what’s holding them both back is the very same thing.

They’re scared. That’s what it comes down to for both of them, just fear. They won’t be able to protect the people they care about at the critical moments. They’ll fail. Everyone they love will die, and it will be their fault. Carolina still can’t let herself be emotionally vulnerable in front of the Reds and Blues or even Wash, yet she is so terrified of losing them that instead of standing with them and fighting alongside them, she throws herself at danger like a human shield.

Carolina’s always been a doer and not a talker. There’s not a lot of setup for her calling the Reds and Blues family. But from another angle, we might say it’s been there in her actions, in her almost reckless protectiveness of them. The only way she knows, perhaps, to show that she cares.

And Epsilon’s not so different. But his terror, I think, is of losing her. Carolina isn’t really anything like the Meta, nor did Epsilon really know much about either the Meta or Maine. But underneath that comparison is simply his fear of losing her--of being unable to keep up, unable to protect her. And this fear makes a lot of things about Epsilon fall into place--his defensiveness, his fudging numbers, his pushing his friends away--even the abandonment issues we hear in his outburst at Wash all the way back in season 10. Epsilon was created by loss. It is woven into the very fabric of who he is. He can’t lose Carolina too, and he can’t admit how scared he is of exactly that--not even to himself.

This scene is, without a doubt, a huge step forward for both of them. It’s a harsh wake-up call, a sign of how much growing they both still have to do.

And it doesn’t fix things all at once, either. Here’s a hot take: Carolina’s entire second fight with Sharkface is tactically unnecessary. Hear me out. When Sharkface finds her in the city, Carolina is flanked by Wash and Kimball. It’s true they’re in a hurry. But if we look at what happens in the very next episode, we get a perfect demonstration of the fact that Kimball and Wash could take down Sharkface on the spot with a few seconds of concentrated rifle fire. He’s well within range. Instead, Carolina deliberately sends them off, choosing to confront Sharkface alone.

I think the real reason for this is less a need to defeat him on her own, and more a desire to apologize and offer mercy. But this also suggests that she doesn’t think Wash will go along with that. A chance to confront their past together could be really powerful for Wash and Carolina, especially if they could agree to try and end it without killing him. After all, both of them fought Sharkface and his grudge is ostensibly against both of them. But Carolina still believes she has to face him alone.

So Carolina and Wash don’t get to share that moment, don’t get to face their past together, and ultimately Sharkface doesn’t accept her mercy and dies anyway.

There’s something really sad about that.

The ride out of Armonia to escape the nuclear blast serves as sort of a do-over for their stalemate at the portal site. It demands a moment of seamless teamwork from Carolina and Epsilon, in order to save themselves and their friends. They succeed, but not without cost, as Epsilon crashes after performing the maneuver.

In a way, this scene also validates Carolina’s feelings as expressed earlier--they cannot afford not to push themselves, not with so much at stake. Just as Carolina saved Caboose without hesitation even at the cost of reopening her leg wound, Epsilon helps her use the bubble shield to save all of them, even though it pushes him past his own limits. It’s complex moment, one that validates their worst fears, but also their capabilities. And of course, it foreshadows the ending to come.

“Great Destroyers” is a turning point. At long last, Carolina and Wash fight side by side, and their teamwork is near seamless. Though we haven’t seen them talk, or demonstrate much emotional vulnerability to each other, there’s a deep sense of camaraderie and trust in the way they move together as a team, proving themselves a match for the mercenaries. It’s significant, I think, that Carolina doesn’t rely too heavily on her armor enhancements during this fight--though Epsilon is with her, his presence is understated, taking a backseat to her connection with Wash.

It’s a powerful demonstration of the value of teamwork and trust over high-tech equipment, one of the major recurring themes of Red vs. Blue.

Following the destruction of the Purge Temple, Carolina sends Epsilon with the Reds and Blues to the Communication Tower. It’s the last time she ever sees him.

It matters that Epsilon’s sacrifice is not to save Carolina, but to save the Reds and Blues. I think if push came to shove he absolutely would have done the same for Carolina alone, and that’s not in itself a bad thing. But Epsilon, like every iteration of Church, has a tendency to hyperfixate on one person. Like I said above, his greatest fear isn’t losing everyone. It’s losing Carolina. And probably his greatest flaw throughout his arc, in season 10 and in the trilogy, is the way he treats his friends, especially Tucker. That’s why his ultimate resolution comes not from saving Carolina, but from saving Tucker and the rest of his friends--while trusting Carolina to be okay on her own.

The victory at the end of season 13 comes not from Epsilon and Carolina working alone, but from both of them connecting with their other teammates--Carolina with Wash, Epsilon with Tucker. They win not by working as an isolated pair, but by working with their team. That victory comes at great cost, as all their victories do. But it is still a victory.

Conclusions

Overall I think the biggest thing to be taken from from Carolina and Epsilon’s whole arc is that as strong as their bond is, shutting everyone else out actually weakens it, and weakens both of them in turn. They are at their best when they don’t isolate themselves, but form and maintain connections with their whole team.

Season 13 sees both Epsilon and Carolina confront their worst fear, one they share: failing to protect the people they love. And so it’s important that the season closes with both of them overcoming their fear, and successfully protecting the Reds and Blues. But it’s also important that their biggest obstacle in doing so--both facing their fears, and protecting their friends--has been the way they have allowed their relationship to isolate them from their friends in the first place.

Epsilon finds his resolution in sacrifice. Carolina’s isolation does not yet fully resolve in the Chorus trilogy--which is okay, because her story isn’t over. It took us until season 15 to really see Carolina acting like family with the Reds and Blues, and to see her share a moment of emotional closeness with Wash. But she does get there.

Her relationship with Epsilon is important, and no doubt has affected her profoundly. But it’s not the only important relationship in her life, and shutting everyone else out has limited her growth. Taken as a whole, I think Carolina’s emotional journal from season 10 to season 15 shows us that her healing cannot be complete without her opening herself up to genuine connection with others as well.

#agent carolina #epsilon church #red vs blue #avian dentistry #blaze edge

85 notes · View notes

wowheadquarters · 7 years

Text

Top 10 favorite Characters

For @thedeerfish. This list was slightly problematic. While I know exactly what characters are among my favorites, I never had the need to sort them into any kind of order. That is, until now. Oh, by the way, there is only one Top N list waiting in the queue, so if you like seeing these, you might go and suggest some. As long as it is Warcraft related, it’s good to go. Before you start reading this list, let’s play a game: Write down 10 characters you think I like. For each character on your list that appears here, you have a point. What’s your score? What's your most failed guess?

10. Griftah - He is a simple cheating shopkeeper selling useless things, sending clueless heroes to Zul’Aman. He has good lines. Ever since I’ve met him at the Shattrath Lower City, I wondered each new expansion locations “I wonder what Griftah is doing.” Given I play mainly Rogues, I was really happy about him being in WoD and later in the Underbelly. Let’s face it, where else would Griftah supposed to be than Underbelly? He isn’t much of a deep character with plenty of revealed lore, but he is one of those characters you just remember. Plus, with him the lack of lore and known personality traits doesn’t feel as bad writing but more as part of... What Griftah is keeping from us.

9. Har’koa - Cat mom. She is beautiful, she is a goddess, she is a mother. I have a lot of feelings about the adventures in Zul’Drak, especially about helping Har’koa. Plus it’s one of the few female characters I don’t feel Blizzard fucked up despite giving them some space. While it might be because she is there for like, 3 levels or so and then never seen again, I personally am of the opinion it’s because she was constantly in a form of a gigantic snow leopard and therefore couldn’t be stuffed in the practical female armor™ . Another thing is that Har’koa was never weak, even when she was trapped, and never stopped being kind and a goddess. I would really appreciate seeing Har’koa again. I would also appreciate an update on what is going on in the whole Northrend.

8. Maladaar - I haven’t got much reasoning here actually, I just happen to like him. On outland he was one of my favorite dungeon bosses and I was really sad about his whole story, despite I am not usually much into the “meant well but it went bad” backstories. Having Maladaar back on WoD was great and mainly the reason why I began to really like him. I mean, not only he is the Speaker for the Dead (which is, hands down, an awesome and a bit depressive title to hold) but he is also an active warrior, not just inactive priest who is defensive at best. He actually seeks justice. Maladaar deserved more space.

7. Chronormu - No such a list is, I think, complete without a dragon. There are plenty of dragons to choose from in WoW, so you can pick one to your taste. I like Chromie, the enthusiastic “let’s try again but better” dragon who decided not to be a boring elf but a Gnome (maybe she has a think for science?). She isn’t everywhere but she is everywhen, which is even better. She is cheerful even at the darkest hour without being an invasive optimist. Also Chronormu might and might not be trans. The -ormu suffix is, aside from Chromie, used only for bronze dragon males, while we always see Chromie as a woman. (How do you recognize a gender in a dragon when they are in a dragon form? You hardly do, they are reptiles, they don’t really have their gender visible.) Also I have a bet going on that when Nozdormu becomes Murozond, Chromie is going to become the next Aspect (or well... leader, since Aspects are no longer a thing).

6. Garrosh - First thing to remember: He fucked up everything he touched. Twice. He was given many opportunities for rising to greatness and also for redemption and he pushed every single one aside. He is a bad person. He isn’t a problematic fave, he is a total disaster and I absolutely disagree with what all he did. I don’t like for what he did, but because he is a damn interesting character (and mind you, it took me rather long to learn). And to me he is also to an extent very relatable, because I too used to view everyone around me as an enemy and tried to live up to my very awesome parent held in high regards by others who expected me to be exactly the same. So he made into the top 10 because he is a very interesting character, but I don’t really favor him as much as the others, because he is a bad person. I am still very salty about his death. I could have written it better.

5. Nozdormu - The only reason I don’t like Nozdormu more is because we don’t see much of him. He watches over time, travels through it as well. And he also looks damn fine. Like... damn damn fine. There is a picture of him in Troll appearance and that looks even better, but well, if he wants to be an elf... He is wise, he knows how and when and why he is going to die and he also knows he can’t do anything about it. Which is very heart-breaking, especially for him who just wants to protect Azeroth and time. He is in fact the most responsible person there is. A true Lawful Neutral. We all know what happens when he tries to change the history to be a better one (see Culling of Stratholme dungeon). Nozdormu is damn interesting and damn damn beautiful and I want to take him home and care after him so nothing bad would happen to him. He could do me the favour and be there more often in the game, me being the Champion Hero Adventurer and all, he could make some time for me.

4. Ortell - The first time you meet this dude, he is almost naked sitting in a cave in Silithus and he translates the encrypted Twilight texts for you, because he realized those fuckers are no good, so he abandoned them. Hermit Ortell was quite a nice character and I liked visiting him in his cave, always brought him some papers to translate and read, because he then sent me a mail saying how nice it was I remembered him. Like, one of the few persons who actually liked to see me. And the boom baby, he is now Elementalist Ortell at Mount Hyjal, helping to infiltrate the cult he once used to call home. He also got some very ominously sounding lines. I loved hearing he is well and still on his bullshit. BfA is going to be about the Old Gods, I personally am of the opinion that Ortell should appear again - let’s just throw him at N’zoth, that tentacle fucker is just gonna run for momma in fear of Ortell. In our house goes a meme: “Little (out)house, little (out)house, who is inside?” - “Elementalist Ortell!”

3. Oculeth - A prime example that first impression matters. His first instinct to seeing a suspicious armed stranger is to put him in a deadlock bubble. In that very moment as the bubble was rising my main slowly to the ceiling, I thought “I know him for only ten seconds, but if anything happens to him, then I’d kill everyone on this server and then myself.” Oculeth is a walking disaster, this close to just losing it, but he is still brilliant and not giving up, he is a gigantic nerd and just loves things that move around thorough telemancy. Let me show to him the Wester and Eastern Earthshrine, please! Let me make my mess of elf happy!

2. Kel’thuzad - The sassy intelligent founder of Scourge (more or less) who isn’t paid enough to deal with all of this bullshit. Having read the Road To Damnation, I now know he didn’t actually want the power but the knowledge. Knowledge seeker. I can relate. But he isn’t actually a tragic character (by canon interpretation at least) which is somehow really... amazing. Life and death both threw stuffs at him and he just kept all of them for later use. And we knoe he has a cat he loves, and when worried then floats around like a distressed nurse in a field hospital . Now when Bolvar is in charge of the Scourge, Kel’thuzad is, technically speaking, a good guy. Or a neutral guy at least. He serves the Lich King (he doesn’t have much of a choice) and that’s all there is. Plus I always had a thing for necromancy and liches and this dude has been among my favorites since Warcraft III (when I couldn’t even read, not to mention understand English) and like hell am I going to change that now just because he is seen as a problematic character. Of course he is a problematic character, all characters have flaws of some kind. If they didn’t they’d be all the same and boring.

1. Vol’jin - DAMMIT BLIZZARD I DON’T CARE YOU ARE BRINGING HIM BACK IN THE BATTLE FOR AZEROTH! YOU HAD LITERALLY NO REASON TO KILL HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE AND NOT GIVING HIM MORE THAN 5 MINUTES OF SCREENTIME AND JUST ONE BOOK IS INEXCUSABLE! Okay, now I have calmed down a little. He is a strong character, both physically and mentally. He lost his son, his homeland, his homeland v. 2, his best friend, his homeland v. 3, the he had to kill the said best friend, then he had to leave Orgrimmar and his race was treated poorly in the Horde he helped to form... And nothing of that broke him. Just like Garrosh, for him everyone around was an enemy. But he didn’t kill them outright, he negotiated, he calculated, and he waited. Instead of enemies he sought opportunities, he was flexible. Yeah fine, until MoP he wasn’t all that accepting to people but he was proved wrong and he admitted it and that is something even real people have problems to do. Vol’jin is truly an inspiring character who was never afraid to call out anyone on their bullshit while keeping to both law and moral. His greatest weakness was his own damned intellect when he had the tendency to make things more complicated then they actually were. He was never my Warchief (I personally think that Cairne or Saurfang should have been the Warchief, later Baine), but he is someone whose orders I would do without questioning, knowing that all the questions I would have asked him, he asked them himself too, twice.

Honorable mention: Taedal - I have this sort of feeling I am obligated to list him here, since I am his creation mother. When you think about it, Taedal si actually just an OC I made for a punchline of a list and wanted to keep him as a running joke. He developed into a full character since then and you all have just sort of... accepted him and no longer question his presence, not even you guys who are new here (maybe you have read the FAQ but I don’t believe it, nobody reads the FAQ). When you think about it, his character, as it has developed, shouts Mary Sue (or the male version Gary Stu) miles around. He is described as pretty and everyone seems to get along with him aside from two or three characters who are just porely biased and Taedal keeps proving them wrong. He is intelligent and handsome enough to get laid, but he doesn’t do it often. And he has a special ability (to break the 4th wall). He is a rebelling demon, for Light’s sake! And somehow... Somehow nobody really minds. Maybe it’s because I present him as sort of a semi-official character, and when we get down to it there are canon characters with less believable backstory. Somehow this character seems natural in Taedal’s case instead of bad writing. I have plenty of other WoW OCs whom I love more than Taedal, but they aren’t on this blog so most of them doesn’t know them, so no reason to put them here. Plus, I really like the world I have built around Taedal. That demon wanted his own datadisc, so he has it. With the help of me and some other volunteering people who don’t mind contributing to the BaDW wiki. (This motherfucker is greedy as hell tho, and wants a second expansion now. Slow down, lizard man, I am not finished with the first one yet!)

#World of Warcraft #Warcraft #Griftah #WoW #Har'koa #Exarch Maladaar #Chronormu #Garrosh Hellscream #Nozdormu #Elementalist Ortell #Oculeth #Kel'thuzad #Vol'jin #Taedal

22 notes · View notes

mcl-mia · 7 years

Text

//SO, i just finished zeus' route and i gotta say, i liked it a hell of a lot more than i expected to. i'm too lazy to do a full fleged review with multiple segments and paragraphs right now (i'd need to look at my own screenshots for that), so i'll do a few thoughts from memory.

+ zeus' dialogue options are pretty damn easy to figure out. i only got the +1 twice the entire route.

+ zeus himself is... surprisingly charming once you get further along in the story. it's also very refreshing to have a character that is genuinely at odds with klaus, rather than just someone who likes to mess with him.

+ zeus is an arrogant bastard, but he has several checks within the story itself who call him out on his bullshit, including liz.

+ can we talk about liz for a second? i fucking ADORE her in zeus' route. it's the development she deserves. she is genuinely powerful and insightful while still retaining her empathy, kindness, and optimism. i wish we could have seen this development on screen, though...

+ hiro is amazing, 10/10 would high five. in fact, i found myself warming up to the night class fairly quickly.

+ gave a much more in depth analysis of dark magic and what it REALLY entails, even if the attitude toward it completely shifted and liz was just like "oh ok" after having it explained to her.

+ solid story foundation with an interesting premise. i'm glad that solmare is putting more effort into showing what certain items and characters look like, since the last few routes have lacked that.

+ the cgs are downright GORGEOUS. not only are they dynamic, but it's weirdly rare for full body shots in the cgs, let alone cgs were both the guy and liz look decent in the cg.

- while i liked the theme of zeus' route, it was driven home to the point where it made me want to bang my head against the wall because it was so damn obvious as to what's going on. they do NOT let any chance of mentioning the prince's story go by.

- zeus' route is really, REALLY long. like, longer than any other route. sure, they wanted to get everything in, but 21 story tickets for a happy ending is ridiculous. y'all could've combined scenes so we could use less tickets.

- some of those item check points were placed a little too close together. i'm talking to you, 8k and 10k lune checkpoints.

- zeus' design is overall really good, but he still looks like he's dead. also, couldn't y'all have made it so that way he has his arm down in his causal outfit?

- taffy is never explained. never. he's mentioned off handedly in one of the previews, but that's about it.

- look, i like the night class a lot and all, but i really didn't like how klaus was basically the only old character that we got to see. all the others either got two minutes of screentime or didn't even show up at all. i get that a few of them graduated, but damn, couldn't you have shown liz recieving/writing letters to them? they're still her friends.

- zeus has a serious lack of backstory. i get it, the story was mainly about present zeus and his character growth... but good god, he lacks so much backstory despite being such a vibrant character. all we really know about him is that he's the oldest child, has been friends with hiro for a very long time, and somehow got special earrings from the royal family.

/ are we in some timeline where the performing festival just doesn't exist? because i'm pretty sure claudia was the name of the princess in THAT story, and it is waaaayyy different than the story with the cursed prince. they even reused the general look for the avatar items for claudia's portrait ffs. did they just think that people wouldn't notice? or is claudia a popular name for princessess in gedonelune?

/ the "goddess" looks like jay with her natural hair color. i'm sorry, but i can't get over that. THE "GODDESS" MAY NOT HAVE A FACE BUT I SEE YOU, SOLMARE.

/ i'm a little surprised that they didn't go into a lot of detail about zeus and hiro's relationship. hiro is essentially zeus' "retainer" (or legal guardian), and it's obvious that they are very close, so how the hell did that all happen, exactly? i'll give solmare a bit of a pass as of today (since we know hiro is getting a route), but they sure as hell better give us more details in hiro's route. don't leave us hanging, solmare.

/ zeus mentioned being the "oldest", so will we ever get to see his siblings? please don't pull a yukiya on us, solmare.

/ rest in peace sigurd, you were here for only two routes (if we're including total screentime) and you're already gone. couldn't even get some decent development before solmare decided to dump you completely from main stories. even mel somehow has a chance to come back.

/ i don't wanna put this directly as a negative... but zeus has the shitty spot of being the first character in a new series; which means that his route has the least answers to the big overarching plot, and that there are a lot of loose ends that need tying up. it's solmare's thing, so i can't really blame the writers on this one.

that... pretty much sums it up for now. overall, zeus' route has been WAY better than many of the newer routes that have come out before him, despite having its own flaws. it's overall an enjoyable read, but certainly not for new players. you need a lot of other information first before you get into zeus' route.

#wizardess heart #not mcl #mia speaks #im sorry for the long post but i gotta #i accidentally hit 'post' way too early on this lol #so yeah i'm pretty damn excited to see where it goes next #so for now... klaus 2 electric boogaloo for the extra event points #he's getting dropped for hiro if he comes out before i'm done w/ klaus though

7 notes · View notes

themikewheelers · 7 years

Text

Not counting the Snow Ball (which was literally the epilogue showing her date with Mike) El literally only had like 4 actual scenes with the other kids all season. There was the Mileven reunion, the reunion with Lucas and Dustin, her watching Will when he was passed out, and then her saying goodbye to Mike before leaving to close the gate. 4 whole scenes. Probably less than 10 minutes of screentime within these scenes, but somehow people are still getting mad that in these 4 scenes the Duffers didn't show El and Max becoming best friends forever or more development between El and Lucas or any of the billion other things I've seen people on this blue hellsite complain about. It's one thing to be disappointed that these things didn't happen, but can y'all just freaking shut up about how mad you are at the Duffers and how it's such bad writing or how the show is acting like El only cares about Mike or whatever. She doesn't. El loves all the boys and they all mean so much to her, she literally had a whole scene of her worrying about Will despite never even meeting him before. El cares about all the boys so much, but she is closest with Mike? Like that's just a fact I'm sorry like even if you don't ship Mileven you can't argue that El isnt closer with Mike than the other boys because that literally just isn't true. So of course when El gets a total of 4 scenes with the boys not including the epilogue, she's gonna spend the most time with Mike? What do you expect? Her to reunite with the boys and then immediately brush Mike off completely? Be like "Yeah sorry babe stop hugging me I gotta go hug my other friends first"? Within the actual plot of season two, El has less than 10 minutes with the boys, why are y'all acting like the fact that El spent more time with Mike (her canonical love interest who is also the person she's closest to) means she doesn't care about the others? She legitimately just didn't have the time to spend with them. That's not bad writing or whatever, it's literally just what happened. She was BARELY with the boys, she had practically no time with them, but now y'all are getting mad that her relationships with all of them didn't develop???? During what time should that have happened???? There was no chance for it??? I know we all wanted to see El meet Will, or see her get closer with Lucas, and all that stuff, but there was literally just no time for it to happen. Yeah, that sucks, but that's just how things worked out. It's not bad writing or the Duffers purposely leaving it out, there just literally was no time for it to happen, I don't know what y'all expect. Where in the less than 10 minutes she was with the boys do y'all think this should have happened?

And don't even get me started on the Max thing. I get it, I want El and Max to become friends too, but can y'all just stop already complaining soooo much about how awful it is that they didn't become bffs and El was jealous of her or whatever, because it's literally realistic? El being jealous was very, very realistic given her circumstances and you don't have to like that fact, but it is true. She wasn't jealous because she thought Max was gonna "steal Mike" or whatever petty reason y'all are reducing it to. She was jealous because she's been gone for a year and in that year her friends met someone new and it's like they're moving on and replacing her, and finding out about Max is just adding to her frustration with being stuck in the cabin cause she feels like the boys are moving on from her now. It makes total sense that El was jealous and upset. That doesn't mean it was okay for El to flip Max off her skateboard, but she was upset and made a bad decision and made a mistake. We've all done it before. It doesn't mean El and Max are ENEMIES now. El is a complex character and jealousy is not a very pretty emotion and now you're all getting mad because El displayed the ugly side of it. Being a complex character means you're gonna have to get used to seeing those not-so-pretty emotions too because everybody has them and they're HUMAN. El is not perfect, she's human, and she makes mistakes. Everything that happened with her being jealous was completely and totally realistic given the circumstances. It makes sense why El felt that way, and then she reacted badly and made a mistake. It doesn't mean the two of them are enemies now. I'm gonna keep repeating this because it really needs to be emphasized, El and Max are NOT enemies in the show, they weren't written that way at all. They haven't even known each other long enough to become enemies. There was no time for anything to happen between them, for them to become enemies or best friends or anything in between. I'd really like if people stopped acting like El and Max were written to be enemies in s2 bc that's just not true.

And moving on, El is not someone who trusts people easily, so why are y'all getting mad that she didn't trust Max immediately? I feel like I shouldn't even have to explain this one but come on, El is a literal abuse survivor who has a very hard time trusting people, and given everything going on with her right now, trusting the wrong person could end very, very badly for her. Why are y'all seriously getting so mad that she didn't trust Max immediately after meeting her?

Everything that happened between El and Max is realistic. And that doesn't mean it's happy or perfect or anything, it's realistic and realistic isn't always what we want to happen and it's not always pretty. El and Max aren't enemies alright. Stop acting like that's how they were written in season two cause it's just not true. If anything they're basically still strangers, cause they BARELY met. El and Max aren't enemies, but they haven't become friends yet either. And that's not to say they'll never become friends or anything, but again, they literally just DID NOT HAVE A CHANCE to form a friendship. El was only around Max for less than ten minutes within the actual story (not counting the Snow Ball, again) and in those 4 scenes who should she be more focused on? Her best friends she hasn't seen in a year, or the stranger she just met (and is jealous of)? Of course in the very limited time El had with the other kids, she was more focused on her existing best friends than on making new friends. I get it, y'all want Max and El to be friends already, but can you just stop already going on and on and on about how the Duffers are such bad writers and how it made no sense and how they're acting like El and Max are enemies or whatever cause that's just not true. Tell me, when the hell was El supposed to have an opportunity to become friends with Max? When was that supposed to happen? There literally just wasn't time for it to happen. El was with the kids for a very brief period of time before she was off again. She didn't have the opportunity to make a new bff or trust someone new or anything. If El and Max DID become best friends immediately in the show, THAT would have been bad writing because it would have been unrealistic with both of their characters and it would have been super rushed. You don't have to like that they didn't become friends, but actually acknowledge that there was no chance for them to and stop going on and on about how horrible s2 is for not showing it. They don't hate each other, it's not promoting girl hate or anything, they just literally had no time to become friends and in the context of everything that was happening in season two, it MAKES SENSE that El didn't immediately like or trust Max, and that she was jealous of her.

To conclude: El literally had no time with the other kids in s2 whatsoever and it's one thing to be disappointed that certain stuff didn't happen, but the reason those things didn't happen is because there was literally no time for them to and there were no opportunities. Stop saying how awful s2 is or how bad the writing is or ranting about the Duffers, because all that happened with El and the other kids is actually extremely realistic given the context of everything that was happening. She had very limited time with them and in that limited time the way she acted was what's actually realistic given her character and the relationships she has with the other characters, and there was literally just no time for any extra stuff like befriending Max or meeting Will or getting closer with Lucas to even happen. Be disappointed that this stuff didn't happen, but acknowledge that the reason it didn't happen is because there was literally just no time for it. It's as simple as that. Stop ranting about how awful s2 is and how it's got such bad writing just because there was no time for El to do certain stuff that would take a lot of time to do. It would take a lot of time for El to trust Max and to form a close friendship with her. It would take a lot of time for El's relationships with each of the boys to develop more. It would take a lot of time for El to actually meet Will and become close to him. There were just no opportunities for this sort of stuff to happen within the context of season two, that's not bad writing. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

#stranger things #el hopper #IM SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT #JUST HAD TO GET ALL THIS OUT

119 notes · View notes

apicturewithasmile · 7 years

Text

LOST rewatch (season 3):

[follow the entire rewatch-tag here]

episode 1 – A Tale of Two Cities:

Time for Dooooowntooooown!!!

“So I guess I’m out of the book club.”

Aaaah it’s THAT Jack flashback episode aka the lowest he’s ever been aka

It’s not that Matthew Fox is a bad actor… it’s just that everyone else on the show is better than him. It becomes even more apparent with the presence of Michael “I single-handedly invented acting” Emerson being around there to stay now.

Sawyer solving the bear cage puzzle is so cute I wanna hug him.

episode 2 – The Glass Ballerina:

Awwww yaaaaas Ben’s round glasses jkdgnidfgnoidsfg

It always baffles me how long it takes for the credits to finish. Going on minute 8 of this episode and they still rolling.

It’s Sally Slingshot

Only Ben Linus can use a camping chair as a dramatic prop

“My name is Benjamin Linus and I’ve lived on this island all my life.”

episode 3 – Further Instructions:

John being speechless after seeing naked Desmond running through the jungle – #same

Wait… is that the sweat lodge episode? If so it means sweaty topless Terry O’Quinn and my body is absolutely and 100% ready!!!

Charlie just made the same “you don’t call, you don’t write” joke on John that he already pulled on Eko

It’s probably the only totally… useless John flashback. Like… we don’t really learn anything about his character that we didn’t already know. I still enjoy every second of John screentime we get but… I wish they had used this one for something else.

“amendable for coercion” is probably what Ben has written in John’s file as well

episode 4 – Every Man For Himself:

Oh shut up Charlie, you jealous ass.

It’s the episode in which Ben knocks Sawyer out with his phallic baton.

“the big kahuna”

First time appearance of the true star of the show: bunny #8

I love that of all the characters on the show, Sawyer’s the one who reads every book he can get his hands on.

Murder cactus hair!!!

Ben’s Bunny Bag™!!!

episode 5 – The Cost of Living:

Sexy linen outfit, Ben! Love the abundance of chest hair!

“Do you believe in God, Jack?” – “Do you?” – “Two days after I found out I had a fatal tumour on my spine a spinal surgeon fall out of the sky, and if that’s not proof of God then I don’t know what is.”

“I guess he’ll be expecting us.”

episode 6 – I Do:

Yet another bad wig for Evangeline Lilly

Random Nathan Fillion

I love the cage frickle frackle scene

Nice psychological warfare, Benjamin fucking Linus!

episode 7 – Not In Portland:

I love Juliet’s curly hair <3

“I’m Tom btw.” – nice timing, Tom!

RICHARD ALPERT!!!

Ben just lying there, chilling with his back cut open… getting some fresh air on that spine.

There it is: Angel Hair Pasta story 2.0

“I wanna know what he said. You owe me an answer.” Good God what is it with Jack and this overly possessive behaviour? Why does he always have to know everything about the women in his life?!?!?! That’s not healthy, Jack!

episode 8 – Flashes Before Your Eyes:

More Desmond, hell yes!

istg that blue semi-unbuttoned shirt is such an iconic look for Desmond and it’s also hot as fuck

OF COURSE Charlie is playing Wonderwall

episode 9 – Stranger In A Strange Land:

The worst episode yet it gives us topless Benjamin Linus.

Seriously, I have hardly anything else to say about this one.

“Your bedside manner leaves something to be desired, Jack.”

Good fucking God, Jack you entitled self-righteous asshole!

episode 10 – Tricia Tanaka Is Dead:

Roger Workman!

Where’s Sayid btw?!??!?! Haven’t seen him in a while!

Aaaah there he is my bebe Sayid!!!

“SHUT UP! Red…. Neck… Man….”

episode 11 – Enter 77:

It’s the Mikhail Bakunin episode!!!

Oh wait…. Is that a Sayid episode? The one with the cat that I had completely forgotten about until now?!?!?!

I loves Sayid’s flashback hair in this episode.

NOT EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY, JOHN!!!

Oh John, what is it with you and beeping computers?

episode 12 – Par Avion:

“Remind me why we’re keeping him alive?” – “What do you suggest? We shoot him like a dog?” – “No. I like dogs.”

I love you, Danielle!

“The John Locke I know was…” nice time travel foreshadowing

Claire’s aunt is such an asshole!

John throwing Mikhail through the sonic fence is my jam!

DADDY SHEPHARD!

Okay but… if you can just go over the fence? Then why does Smokey not just… fly over it?!

episode 13 – The Man From Tallahassee:

OH NO NOT THAT EPISODE!!! Right in the feels!!!

John finally reunited with his future island husband.

The bedroom scene! Yassss!!!

“The man from Tallahassee? What is that, some kind of code?” – “No, John, unfortunately we don’t have a code for: there’s a man in my closet with a gun to my daughter’s head. Although we obviously should.” FUCK YAAAAS!!!!

“I know you, John Locke. […] Tell me John, did it hurt?” – “I felt my back break. What do you think?”

I like Tom Friendly – he really lives up to his name.

I can’t believe that Jack – the only doctor the survivors have – wants to leave the island all because Kate fucked Sawyer. Sounds like something a guy would do who’d detonate a hydrogen bomb because his girlfriend left him.

Ben and John out-sassing and manipulating each other is foreplay tbh.

“I was born on this island…” LIAR!

THE MAGIC BOX!!!! Fgnidgnidflsgnlkdd FUUUUUCK!!!! SHIT’S GETTING REAL!!!

Also a very rare occasion in which Ben’s beautiful face has no wounds, scratches, bruises…

You can see I adore this episode by how much I have to say about it even if it’s just a ramble of feels

And now it’s bondage John!

“And then you came striding out of the jungle, John, to make my dream come true.”

episode 14 – Expose:

Wow… I can’t believe I’m already that far down into my rewatch.

Unpopular opinion: I actually love Expose. It’s so… useless and dorky that it’s amazing!

“I’m just a guest star and we all know what happens to guest stars.”

It’s Boone and Shannon *cries forever*

I can’t believe someone called Maggie Grace and told her “hey, we know you got totally screwed over and we killed your character before you could have any substantial character development but… we need you back for an episode, you gotta scream your fucking lungs out of your body once more!”

Seriously…. This is the creepiest death on the whole show.

episode 15 – Left Behind:

Hahahaha it’s the one where Hurley tricks Sawyer into being nice

I loooove Cassidy and I love they mirrored this flashback with the Kate-and-Juliet-are-handcuffed-together episode

“My name is Kate.”

episode 16 – One Of Us:

It’s the one where Ben is very very creepy

That’s probably the only episode in which I can somehow understand the people who dislike Ben…. But I still love my dear rat boy!

episode 17 – Catch 22:

Ooowwww I love Desmond episodes

Oh Kate…why?!?!

I deadass forgot the whole freighter plot, like… I knew Miles & Co. where about to appear but I forgot how this whole thing started

episode 18 – D.O.C.:

Jin’s the only one who has a nice dad and a terrible mother

Also I just typed “John” instead of “Jin” which makes me wonder: where’s my bald jungle baby?

Aaaah first mention of fake 815

episode 19 – The Brig:

Fuuuuuck I’M NOT READY!!!

They made me miss my dear John for two (three?) entire episodes only to come back with this to totally rip my heart out

The “previously on” bit already wrecks me

IT’S THE PINS AND NEEDLES SCENE!!! Also known as: Ben tries this “flirting” all the cool kids are talking about.

Terry’s looking hot as fuck in that entire episode

Ben knocking out Anthony Cooper with his walking stick is my aesthetic.

Danielle causally poppin by to get some dynamite

“little hot for heaven, isn’t it?” – I would looooove this whole red herring if it weren’t for the “they were dead the whole time”-crowd

God that Anthony Cooper = The OG Mister Sawyer reveal is AMAZING!

“I thought I was special.” – “Well, everyone makes mistakes.”

Yes, James, KILL THAT ASSHOLE!!!

“I’m on my own journey now.”

episode 20 – The Man Behind The Curtain:

My precious Carrie Preston!

Uncle Horace

“Call him Benjamin.”

“You are the man behind the curtain – the wizard of Oz. And you’re a liar.”

Namaste!

Sterling Beaumon was the best casting choice for baby Ben!!!

Mikhail Bakunin still running like the devil’s chasing him (literally, kinda, considering Smokey revived him.)

John: [Ben] and I are going to see Jacob. – Everyone else: Wuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

Ben really has a history of very shitty birthdays.

And this is making me very emotional because it reminds me of the “video of tears and pain” which makes me wanna cry my fucking soul out.

“Kinda hard to celebrate on the day you killed you mom.” Oh fuck off, Roger.

Ben’s Bunny Bag™ back in action

“I don’t wanna go back there. I hate it there.”

The way Richard talks to baby Ben is soooo similar to the way Ben talks to John I’m gonna scream!!!

Okay but this is no kiddon the best episode of this entire show so far. Like… Nothing that happened up until this point compares to this!!!

I FORGOT ABOUT BEN SPEAKING TO AN EMPTY CHAIR!!!!

Still baffles me they thought they could slap some fake hair and make-up on Emerson’s face and make him look like a 20yo – when he was already older than Ben is in our now-timeline… like… was there no 20yo actor with a big nose and bug eyes around?!?!

“Goodbye, Dad!”

“The Dharma Initiative. They came here seeking harmony, but they couldn't even coexist with the Island's original inhabitants. And when it became clear that one side had to go, one side had to be purged, I did what I had to do. I was one of the people that was smart enough to make sure that I didn't end up in that ditch, which makes me considerably smarter than you, John.”

John Locke seriously bringing a knife to a gun fight!

alright kiddos, I am #fucked up now.

episode 21 – Greatest Hits:

How many episodes actually start with someone running through the jungle?

Danielle just showing up to blow something up!

According to Jack this is day 90? So it takes another 18 days for them to actually get off the island at that point?!?! Wow.

Guess that’s the end of bunny #8

episodes 22 & 23 – Through the Looking Glass:

OH MY GOD IT’S THE FIRST FLASH FORWARD!!!

“WE HAVE TO GO BACK, KATE!!!!”

“I’m a dentist. I am not Rambo.” – I love these two so much!!

Can you believe they thought it was a good idea to give Ben round glasses that make his eyes look even bigger than they already are? He looks like straight out of a manga.

There really is a lot of fatphobia in this episode.

It’s taller ghost Walt

ALEX AND DANIELLE MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!! WELP!!!

Ben letting himself be tackled and punched by Jack is such a power move. I am 100% convinced he let it happen on purpose because it’s already canon that he can easily knock out friggin Sawyer!!!

NOT PENNY’S BOAT

From Ben’s perspective this is once again John “striding out of that jungle to make my dream come true”

“I don’t wanna shoot you.”

Remember when you watched that finale for the first time and didn’t know all the time it was a flash forward and not a flashback?!?!? And then Kate steps out of that car and you were all like WOOOOAAAAHHHH?!?!?!

Remember when you didn’t know whose funeral they were talking about?!?!?!

That last scene was the first time I found Jack actually likable and relatable!

WE HAVE TO GO BACK!!!

#LOST #lost show #lost abc #Maddie rewatches LOST #finally finished s3 #this took me longer than 1 and 2 #because I was quite busy

20 notes · View notes

lady-alayne · 7 years

Text

Game of Thrones: An Angry Recap

Season 7 Episode 7: The Dragon and the Wolf

Outside of King's Landing:

As Dany's troops are positioning themselves all around King's Landing, Bronn and Jaime have a deep and meaningful discussion about the construct of masculinity between the conflicting priorities of cocks and what-even-is-the-point-of-not-having-a-cock. Oh, the subtle socio-anthropological nuances of Game of Thrones, more refined each episode.

But back to Dany's troops! The Unsullied, motionless as ever, stand still as an army of Dothraki rides through their ranks making... scary noises? Where did they pick those up? I'm pretty sure the Dothraki were not yodeling like that in season 1. But, whatever, who cares about continuity? Most characters have been replaced by a caricature of themselves this season, so why not make the Dothraki more foreign and more different? Apparently it's supposed to make for some good TV instead of, you know, raising a lot of eyebrows and bordering offensiveness.

The real Team Dany, meanwhile, sails into King's Landing, and we find out that Jon is completely healed! Based on the established timelines, it took him about 10 minutes to heal and put his cothes back on, as this is approximately the time it takes to sail from the North to King's Landing. Makes sense, doesn't it?

Aaaaaaaaaand our sexist joke counter immediately goes DING! as Tyrion mentions the far superior King's Landing brothels. I mean... sure. The best brothel in show!universe was undoubtedly Littlefinger's fine establishment, which is not operating any more, so... someone else must have taken over? And how would Tyrion even know? Has he been to all the brothels? (Okay, he probably has.) Based on the show's characterization, I'd say the best brothels are in Dorne, but... who cares. Maybe D&D are contractually obligated to mention sex all the time. Or they probably just think it's worthy of all the Emmys, which, sadly, seems to be the case. Ugh.

The Dragonpit:

On the way to the dragonpit Missandei, who, if I may remind, IS THE QUEENS MOST TRUSTED ADVISOR, DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHY IT WOULD BE A SMART MOVE TO CONTAIN A BUNCH OF GROWN UP KILLER DRAGONS. Thankfully, Jorah is there to mansplain how dangerous dragons can be. You know, to the woman who witnessed Dany's dragons torching countless flocks of innocent sheep, and eventually a child, which made Dany LOCK THEM UP. But, oh, what could the Dragonpit possibly be there for??? Tyrion then supermansplains how the last dragons died, because as soon as another male character (except for Jon) has more than 10 seconds screentime, Tyrion must be brought into the mix to remind us all how awesome he is.

Thankfully he is interrupted by Bronn, who came with Brienne and Pod for some reason, who seem to have teleported into King's Landing. Because it's Pod and there seems to be a law, Bronn makes a joke about Pod's magic cock. Sigh. Why won't D&D ever let us forget about that?

After a Brienne/Sandor and Tyrion/Bronn reunion scene, the gang finally makes it into the Dragnpit, which is FUCKING TINY. Even for one fully grown dragon it wouldn't be enough space to spread their wings and fly. But for several??? No wonder the dragons got the blues and stopped growing. Dude.

Finally Team Cersei arrives, and then—CLEGANBOWL GET HYPE!!! Or.... not, as Sandor chooses to walk away. Lame!

Dany shows up 15 minutes late without Starbucks, but on her dragon, which impresses Cersei exactly 0.00. Just as Tyrion is about to instigate a peaceful negotiation, Euron heckles him, leaving Theon... unperturbed??? What happened to your PTSD, Theon? I guess it comes and goes as the plot demands it. Realistic!

Cersei tells Euron to shut the hell up, and Team Dany finally have the chance to explain the threat beyond the wall to the Queen and even have their wight show-and-tell. Jon explains and demonstrates how to defeat them while looking like he's shooting a “How To” youtube video, which seems to convince Cersei, who accept the truce, and scare the shit out of Euron, who jumps up and yells, “SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M GOING HOME.”

By the way. Jon explicitly states that wights CANNOT SWIM. THEN HOW DID THEY GET THE DRAGON OUT OF THE WATER????

In other news, Cersei's truce comes with one condition: That the North does not take up arms against the Lannisters, even after the White Walkers have been defeated. Unfortunately Jon's compromised dick honor prevents him from accepting those terms, and Cersei storms out. Brienne then tries to reason with Jaime by yelling “Fuck loyalty!” WHICH MAKES ABSOUTELY NO SENSE AND GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING BRIENNE STANDS FOR ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Saint Tyrion, who knows he is protected by plot armor, volunteers to talk to Cersei again and manages to sway her mind in about 3 seconds, which seems very plausible. Don't forget, the plot demands it.

Meanwhile we are treated to Jon's cringey attempt at flirting with Dany, who tells her, “You're not like the other girls! You're, like, super special!”

By the way, isn't it insanely warm under those furs? Why is Jon still dressed in his Northern collection?

Cersei reappears to promise her armies. Which makes me wonder... WHAT ARMIES??? Weren't they all torched by Dany on their way back from Highgarden, and the ones she spared bent the knee and are fighting for her now, anyway? What was even the point of this meeting? What armies can Cersei contribute???

An hour later we find out.... None. Because Cersei lied, and she has no intention to join the fight. This does not go over too well with Jaime, who gets into a heated argument with his sister and eventually storms out to ride... somewhere, just as the first snow is falling on King's Landing.

Dragonstone:

Back in their free castle, Team Dany are figuring out how to move the troops Norths. In one of the more obvious WHICH ONE WILL SHE CHOOSE??? moments, Jorah and Jon both suggest different ways for Dany to get there, and to no one's surprise she chooses Jon. Jorah, for real. You're better than this. It's just painful. MOVE ON.

Jon and Theon later have a heart-to-heart in the throne room that LITERALLY STARTS WITH THEON SAYING “YOU ARE ALWAYS GOOD AND SMART AND PERFECT.” Oh my god. Do D&D really think we are THAT STUPID? Do they really think we would not UNDERSTAND how PERFECT Jon is if it is not REPEATED OVER AND OVER??? To “help” with Theon's identity crisis, Jon then tells him he can be both a Greyjoy and a Stark, which... doesn't really help Theon at all, but it's the thought that counts I guess? Inspired by Jon's council, Theon then decides to rescue Yara. The Ironborn are TOTALLY against that, but then Theon beats one of them to death, so they are all for that. Hooray!

Now here's the thing. Theon's arc was amazing. He was a smug little asshole who made all the wrong choices and came to pay for them dearly. Ramsay broke him, in all ways a man can be broken. Theon became Reek. But his empathy with Sansa redeemed him, and Theon fought off his Reek state. And he found that last, tiny bit of strength, and let that fuel him. He was still broken and scared, but he ignored it because, finally, he wanted to do the right thing and help Sansa. That was beautiful.

What is NOT beautiful is having Theon repeat this arc over and over and over. He has spent the last two seasons in a perpetual Theon/Reek/Theon/Reek/Theon hamster wheel, always having the personality that would fit best into the rest of the bullshit D&D are trying to sell us as coherent plot. He's triggered by all the violence and jumps overboard when Euron abducts Yara, but when he faces him again in the dragonpit he cracks jokes about Euron and doesn't give a fuck. A little while later he is broken and remorseful again and regrets his life choices, once again deciding to rescue a damsel in distress to redeem himself, and is “empowered” by killing a man. (I will talk about D&D's idea of “empowerment through violence” in a later post). Not only does this once again underline the misogyny of GoT—women are merely used as props in men's character arcs, which a few exceptions—IT ALSO MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. What are you??? REEK OR THEON??? Stop yoyoing back and forth, for fuck's sake.

And don't even get me started on the Ironborn. Yara's crew is supposed to be the most loyal crew there is. These men are supposed to go through hell for their captain. But, no, as soon as it gets a bit inconvenient they decide to choose raping and pillaging instead, altought YARA WAS TOTALLY AGAINST THAT. And Theon beats one of them up and THEY IMMEDIATELY CHANGE THEIR MINDS AGAIN??? Honestly, if I was Theon, I would not trust these men AT ALL.

Winterfell:

Petyr Baelish is smart and wonderful. When Sansa gets a letter from Jon that must have read “Hi sis, just fyi, we're Targaryen bannermen now!” he notes that IT IS NOT EASY FOR RAVENS TO FLY IN THESE STORMS, thus proving that 1) he is the only character that somehow makes sense (despite his season 5 jetpack!) and 2) he absolutely has to die now because D&D can't have a character that's smarter than him. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lord Baelish.

Sansa is understandably not super happy about Jon bending the knee, which makes Littlefinger suggest that she could be Queen in the North instead because IT IS HER BIRTHRIGHT ANYWAY. When Sansa notes that Arya might not be on board with that idea and murder her because of the cult she recently joined, Petyr smartly replies “I never trust godly men.” Which, you have to admit, makes him simply wonderful.

Then Sansa and Petyr discuss how likely it is that Arya wants to murder Sansa. And let's face it, based on everything that went down last episode, it seems pretty likely. Arya did threaten her WITH A DAGGER. And talk about WEARING HER FACE. So........ I REST MY CASE. IT SEEMS PRETTY LIKELY.

But who cares about logic, amirite? In the most foreseeable plot twist in the history of Game of Thrones, it turns out the Stark sister did NOT want to murder each other, but instead teamed up to take down the man whose only function had become to be an evil creeplord, so all the viewers would know that he should definitely be killed.

And once again Game of Thrones chose supposed “shock value” over consistency, logic, and good storytelling. Let me sum this up.

Petyr Baelish STARTED THE WAR OF THE FIVE KINGS because HE IS SUPER SMART. He knows everything about everyone and, more importantly, he knows how to use that knowledge to his advantage. He then used the ensuing chaos to RISE EVEN HIGHER in this world. Along the way he also RESCUED SANSA from King's Landing AND from being pushed through a moon door AND from being slaughtered during the battle of the bastards. Okay, he also sold Sansa to Ramsay, which was... stupid, and I hate D&D for making him do that. But all he did, he did for Sansa. Because he truly and genuinely LOVED HER.

But this poor, poor, unfortunate soul was not “badass” enough for D&D. They did not know what to do with this wonderful, complex character. And, frankly, they didn't care. All they cared about were the fans they were servicing. And the fans wanted to see him dead. So D&D went on tumblr and read the hate posts. And they put him on a mock trial for that. Sansa accused him of many things, things she had no reason to know, and don't tell me that Bran just KNEW THIS. We later see that Bran is not an omniscient superbrain. He merely has the power to see everything he chooses to see. That means Bran must have consciously chosen to watch Petyr Baelish throughout the decades to uncover all his crimes, so his sister could then accuse him of them. Seriously???

But who cares. Not the fans D&D are servicing. The wanted to see Petyr dead, because they, too, did not understand his character. They only see the world as black and white. Petyr was not good, so he had to be evil. And therefor he had to be killed. By three teenagers. Three kids, really. Three kids who are not evil, and therefor they had to be good, their actions reasonable, their violence justified.

This does not explain why Arya was threatening Sansa last week. Was it just a show for Petyr? Then why do it behind closed doors? Or did she actually mean it? Then when did she have a change of heart? It just makes no sense. It makes no fucking sense.

I mourn the death of one of the last complex, morally ambiguous characters. One of the original players. He set it all in motion. He played the Game like no one else. And he looked smoking hot doing it.

Rest in peace, my Lord Protector. You deserved better than this. And know that you will be avenged. In metas, in fanfictions, in fanart... We will right the wrongs that have been done to you. And you will live on in our hearts, and, for some of us, under our skins. Fly now to your rest, my sweet mockingbird.

***

But the story does not end there for the Winterfell gang. Bran is visited by Sam, and they talk about how Jon is actually... AEGON TARGARYEN????? WHAT?!?!?!?!?! THERE ALREADY IS AN AEGON TARGARYEN??? OR DID D&D DIMISH ELIA'S CHARACTER EVEN FURTHER AND CHOSE TO ONLY GIVE HER ONE CHILD INSTEAD OF TWO??? WHAT IS THE POINT OF ALL THIS?!?!?!?! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way... GILLY FOUND OUT THAT RHAEGAR GOT MARRIED TO LYANNA, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE TOERAG. But Sam takes all the credit. THIS IS NOT OKAY.

And apparently Bran can now see everything from everywhere??? What happened to “You have to warg an animal or look out of a heart tree???” Too inconvenient for D&D?!?!?!?

Somewhere on the Narrow Sea:

Epic Boat Sex(TM) is actually a thing, y'all. I mean, it wasn't epic, more like... sweet. Until we found out Jon's banging his aunt. So... take that as you will.

Beyond the Wall:

JUST BURN THAT MOTHERFUCKING WALL TO THE GROUND AND KILL THEM ALL. I AM SO ROOTING FOR YOU. KILL THEM, BABY. KILL THEM ALL.

#got an angry recap #anti d&d #game of thrones

64 notes · View notes

occupyvenus · 7 years

Text

Am I the only one who thinks this season is going slower than anticipated? Maybe it’s just because they kept hyping it as super fast-paced and my expectations were too high. I’m honestly feeling a little underwhelmed right now. Can’t really put my finger on why exactly, but still.

Maybe it’s because they are being so silent about r+l=j and white walker related stuff? I feel like these two things should really start driving the plot forward.

But Bran has had like 5 minutes of screentime, so no new white walker revelations there and that whole “we really need dragonglass” obsession is kinda getting boring. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to reveal anything about Jons birth to Sansa or Arya anytime soon neither.

I would have totally accepted if Tyrion and Jons entire cliff-interaction happened off screen, with Tyrion just showing up to tell Dany about the dragonglass out of nowhere. I really hope the whole conversation about Jon being a “northern fool” pays off somehow. Either by him causing his own downfall by making the same mistakes as Robb or Ned (falling for a foreign woman + trusting Cersei), being tempted by it and resisting because he learned his lesson, or doing that glorious double-agent stuff some people speculate about - acting like a “northern fool”, but fooling everyone else instead.

Even if that scene was meant to pave the road for a positive romantic / sexual / platonic / familial / political / whatever relationship between Jon and Dany, it’s very sloppy writing. They should form a bond through their own actions, not through Tyrion playing wing-man, telling each of them how great the other person is. If that was the only purpose of that scene I am going to scream.

That screen-time could have been used for way more interesting things. I mean, we could have gotten some unexpected Jon interacts with free-flying dragon moment instead. Imagine Jon standing on that cliff, but instead of Tyrion, Viserion/Rhaegal shows up, lands in front of him, they both stare at each other for a while before the dragon takes off again. Or even better, Tyrion showing up after that, witnessing that little interaction and looking a bit ~suspicious~ at Jon during and after their “I’m an idiot”, “Dany isn’t so bad” conversation.

I just feel like Jons targ-heritage should start to influence the plot soon. Especially now that he is in Dragonstone, face-to-face with the other last living targaryen and we know about his true parentage. I like all the little hints with Jon saying he isn’t a stark and the dragon flying by at the perfect time, I suppose it read the script, but I would want an actual character to hint at it. I want something more tangible. His entire conversation with Dany would have been way more interesting if the audience (especially casual viewers) were more aware of his situation. It would have simply had a bigger emotional impact if we already “knew” or at least strongly suspect that Jon “was born to rule the seven kingdoms” (according to the targ line of succession), that he is “the rightful ruler”. I absolutely loved Jon standing up for the north and telling her how it is, but it would have had more potential. Even Jons death and resurrection is kept a secret, ie hold back from influencing the story, because .... I don’t know. I don’t feel like we have time to set up new mysteries, when there are so many old ones waiting to be lifted.

I really hope that r+l=j will come up in the winterfell-plot somehow, because Littlefinger - without this peculiar information - has kinda stopped being a worthwhile villain. Seriously, Sansa is so done with his shit, neither Bran nor Arya are prone to manipulation, Lord Royce hates him, what vital threat does he pose to the starks if not for some juicy r+l=j info ? And the following implications concerning a certain redheads and northern kings romantic potential) But instead of making some sneaky comments about Jon parleying with the dragon queen, we get a weird metaphysical ... whatever that was.

Jons true parentage is like the biggest twist off the entire series and having it only impacting the story in the very, very, very last episodes feels … unworthy of it? I’m not even talking about revealing the truth to Jon or another major character, but they should just do ... something ... with it.

The same thing goes for Bran. Him being the three-eyed raven should really start to be important and crucial to the plot. I am going to assume that it will be very important ~somehow~, but until now he was nothing but a script-page with EXPOSITION written all over it. If he’s going to spend the rest of the season sitting in winterfell, devoid of all emotion, saying ominous shit and doing nothing but figuring out the “big mystery” who Jon’s dad is.... I’ll be really disappointed. I need Bran to be as important as he should be. I need Bran to be more than what he is now. Considering that we are moving towards the series ultimate conclusion, it should happen soon. I’m worried that he will stay in camp easy-exposition, only to ex-machina the shit out of his undefined powers out of nowhere.

Sam’s time at the citadel is similar in this aspect. Like what did he really accomplish there? Finding out that there is dragonglass in dragonstone (duuhhh) and healing Jorah. He is sitting on this huge mountain of fascinating information, the biggest accumulation of knowledge in all of westeros and we do not learn anything new by him being there. Nothing about “blood and fire”, dragons, the long night, the ptwp, azor ahai, the children of the forest, etc. He could really impact the big war there, but so far he hasn’t.

I’m rather content with the season so far, yes some of the writing is pretty sloppy, but what else is new. I don’t know, it’s just that the pacing feels ...kinda weird. It feels like there is so much going on, but they are holding back the most vital elements of the story for ... some reason, I suppose. Even Danys invasion feels like it hasn’t even really started yet. I don’t know most of these major plotlines just kinda stand there without having much movement themselves. They threw the tower of joy scene at us in the last finale and haven’t done anything with it. Keep in mind, we are already almost halfway through season 7.

The only two incidents that seem to really push the “big plot” in any direction are the whole Euron and Cersei situation and Jon meeting Dany. On second viewing even that long anticipated meeting feels a bit drawn-out and under-used, when considering it’s potential. I’m not saying that anything in the first three episodes necessarily falls into the “filler”-category, that’s not it. But there are only 10(!) episodes left. None of this would bother me if the last two seasons weren’t as short, but under these circumstances our major characters feel a bit too .. stationary.

The one exception would be Cersei, her plot is the only one I would call “dynamic”. It develops from scene to scene, she actively shapes her surroundings and is faced with new challenges or simply different situations almost every time she comes back on screen. Jon, Sansa, Arya, Bran, Dany, Sam, etc. mostly seem to talk about the stuff, they already talked about in the last scene, sometimes with a different character or a tiny bit of new information. Or they talk about things that happened to other characters. Seriously, Cersei already went through an entire arc, while everyone else feels like they are just finished with setting the stage. She is the most interesting, engaging character right now. There, I said it.

Jon started to actively further the plot by coming to dragonstone, but the Jon’s “big issue” in the second half of episode 3 was literally that he is stuck on Dragonstone and can’t leave. I actually enjoyed his little discussion with Dany very much, them meeting is a crucial step towards the final conclusion , finally coming closer to an answer to the big question behind all this “will they fight or fuck or both or switch between those ...”. But all the tension build in that interaction immediately dissolved when the ended with the half-baked conclusion of him being her prisoner somewhat, but not really.

This was only supposed to be like one or two paragraphs of mild complaining, but it ended up being way longer, because I just don’t know how to accurately put this into words. So thanks for sticking with me until the end. I’ll say it one more time, Cersei is the only character who seems to actually make both personal and political progress. Maybe they are finally done with putting all the pieces in place and can start with really pushing the story foward, but in that case, maybe cutting the episode number wasn’t such a good idea.

A bunch of stuff happens, but it doesn’t feel like stuff actually happens. Does that make any sense? Does anyone get what I mean? Is it only me?

#game of thrones #got spoilers #got s7 #got wank #i suppose #mild complaining #my stuff

38 notes · View notes

scottsumrners · 7 years

Text

you know, this thing about Peter's lack of relationship with the other characters. I think it's exactly the reason Homecoming fell so short for me. Because they never really...bothered to try and establish who Peter is? He is the stereotypical 80s main character that the director was trying to achieve - a social outcast geek who is still handsome enough to be the lead, with a somewhat less attractive best-friend/sidekick, who pins after the attractive It Girl, except he's got super-powers now, so that's a twist. You can argue that, well, audiences already know who Peter is, so why bother? But then, if they are running with what the audiences already know, why even recast? Garfield did well enough in the job as it was (I mean, no matter ASM 2's shortcomings, he was still a good Spidey).

So then instead of getting a character that *feels* like Peter, we get someone that is generic enough that he could be any other character, and the things that could be his characterisation's saving grace - his relationships with the other players in the movie - are just not there enough to give out anything. Why is Peter in love with Liz, aside from the Avril Lavigne effect (he was a boy, she was a girl, can I make it any more obvious?)? Aunt May is there for a grand total of 5-10 minutes, which somehow means she has less screentime than MJ, who is literally only there to make snidey remarks at opportune moments. Tony Stark is there with the sole purpose of belittling and putting Peter down, and his last scene in the movie is just him about to do the thing Peter has been avoiding doing for the entire movie - reveal his identity to the world. Peter's relationship with Ganke Lee's cousin twice removed is the only thing that grounds him to the school side of the movie, since all other characters are....well, Flash bullies him once or twice! The other characters don't even get names! Zendaya is in there. You wonder why even put this kid through high-school again (and it's not even a public school, which could be used to handwave away how little they seem to care about it in general).

It makes me wonder more and more why we couldn't simply have gotten a Miles Morales movie, instead of a kinda-maybe allusion to it. Or, you know, Cindy Moon? Who was right there? But I guess Marvel ain't ready to have more than one (1) person of colour headlining a movie in this decade just yet.

1 note · View note

niuxita21 · 4 years

Text

I told myself I wasn’t gonna do this every time I watched an episode of El Embarcadero because this isn’t my Livejournal in the late 00s and early 10s and no one wants to be subjected to my word vomit on every scene, but the reveal at the end of episode 2 had me SHOOKETH and also, more importantly, today I found out I may have been exposed to The Unmentionable so, you know what, life’s too short.

DUDE. DUUUUUUUUUUUDE. The decision to end the episode on Alex kissing Verónica as some sort of shocking reveal? *chef’s kiss* doesn’t even BEGIN to cover it OMG. Let’s break it down, shall we?

1) First of all, just the notion that the relationship between those two is deemed significant enough that the reveal that they kissed, this time under no false pretenses on either side and each one knowing exactly who the other is (unlike the last time), is considered powerful enough to end an episode on is just... wow. They really are betting on the audience being this invested in them because, if they aren’t, then the ending completely falls flat because who cares. That’s INSANE (in a very good way).

2) Obviously I’m not super crazy about the idea that Alex had to have sex with Conrado, but therein lies the true beauty of the aforementioned timey-wimey storytelling on this show. If it had been told in a linear fashion, it would have gone something like this (taking into account only the footage that was shown): Alex kisses Verónica, the viewer loses their shit thinking their ship is finally canon, then cut to other stuff and the next time we see Alex she’s back at home thinking about Conrado (?) and what Verónica said about people fucking the way they eat. Then she leaves the house and one automatically assumes, oh fuck, she’s really going for it, she’s gonna show up at Verónica’s hoping to have sex with her! How did we get so lucky?? Only to find out that, nope, Alex actually went to see Conrado and have sex with him, and the episode ends there, in a complete and utter disappointment because we finally thought we were getting somewhere with this couple and it just seems like a very cruel bait-and-switch.

3) Now, the way it ACTUALLY played out with the non-linear narration paints a completely different picture: The last time we see Alex she was running away from Verónica flirtily recording her on her phone and then she’s suddenly back at home thinking about Conrado (?) and what Verónica said about people fucking the way they eat. Then she leaves the house and this time you think, OK, I guess she’s finally gonna give him that signal that he’s been begging for, I mean, the whole episode had pretty much telegraphed it. It’s disappointing but she’s a grown woman who can fuck whoever she wants and there’s clearly still nothing going on with Verónica beyond friendship so, hey. So the sex goes pretty much the way one would expect, save for a couple of interesting details: Alex’s “I wanted to see what it was like to have sex with someone who wants me that much”. Once again, gurl, whaaaaa? That is one of the LEAST heterosexual reasons to have heterosexual sex I have EVER heard lmao, wow. In retrospect, that should have been a sign. Then when she’s sitting on Conrado’s bike and he’s rambling about how he hasn’t had sex in so long and she just tells him to shut up. Again, I’m not sure, but I think that’s gotta be some kind of TV Trope code for “I’m having sex with you for reasons other than being attracted to you so if you stay silent I can forget who it is I’m actually fucking”. At least, that’s how I’m interpreting it because I am the queen of digging for crumbs.

ANYWAY, so in the midst of the sex scene, it starts being intercut with footage from earlier in the day/episode, and we actually get to see what it is that Verónica recorded of Alex after she went out the door of her house earlier, when we thought it was the end of their screentime together for the episode. I mean, it’s all very insignificant and flirty and SO SO DUMB that it makes my heart sing, BUT the sole fact that we start seeing it at exactly this moment completely changes our perception of Alex and Conrado’s sex scene. On the one hand, the constant intercutting between Alex having sex with him and Alex straight-up fucking BEAMING at Verónica while she records her with the most ridiculous hearteyes I think we have ever seen her with kinda gives the impression that Alex is thinking about that while she fucks Conrado, which is pretty big in itself but still just an interpretation. However, then comes the REAL kicker. In the flashback, Alex says “I think I’m starting to feel what Óscar felt” (whatever THAT means ????) and then... she makes Verónica put the phone down and fucking KISSES HER RIGHT THERE AND JUST AS IT’S GETTING GOOD THE EPISODE ENDS AND I AM LOSING MY FUCKING SHIT MAN.

But anyway, I just love that it comes across as, like, the TWISTIEST OF TWISTS and I can’t really articulate why. It’s just a kiss that we could have probably seen coming and yet, somehow, it feels earth-shattering? Like we were working on the assumption that she really wanted to have sex with Conrado for her own personal reasons and in the end it turns out that perhaps there was something more complex at play that is going to complicate her relationship with BOTH Verónica and Conrado. And also, it’s much more hopeful than the disappointing punch in the gut it would have been if we’d seen Alex go fuck Conrado knowing that she’d kissed Verónica earlier that day. As a fan of non-linear narration and how effective it can be, I am just GEEKING OUT about this. The GENIUS of it all, I can’t stand it.

4) Another thing that I think is super cool about this because I am a nerd is that, after Alex kissed Verónica the first time, while Verónica still thought her name was Martina, I was so disappointed in the erratic camera work that didn’t let me see shit (as you know) that I consoled myself thinking that at least I had another “first kiss” to look forward to, their first kiss as Alex and Verónica and not Martina and Verónica. However, I conceded that the show probably wouldn’t deem it as important a milestone in their journey as I had and it was entirely possible that it wouldn’t be given the deference it deserved. But LO AND BEHOLD, the show thought it was actually SO IMPORTANT that it made it a shocking reveal ending for an episode instead of tossing it in the middle and then having it ruined by the Alex/Conrado sex scene. I’m just... do you know how RARE it is to find a show that seems to be on my same wavelength regarding the importance of the narrative beats of romantic couple? This ain’t my first rodeo, I’ve shipped tons of stuff under the sun and I don’t think I have ever felt so seen, lmao.

5) Lastly, a honourable mention to the scene where Verónica starts recording Alex. First of all, Verónica being SUPER FLIRTY and teasing Alex about being uptight and thinking things too much and calling her “Ms. Architect” and djghkjhskjh I can’t believe this show is being so good to me so soon. However, I think my favourite thing is how, as Verónica starts approaching Alex while saying all this, Alex gets this wide-eyed look on her face, like her whole body is vibrating at the prospect of Verónica getting close to her. And then this:

LORD, the way she’s so hyperaware of the fact that Verónica is touching her and how she follows the trajectory of her hand even after she takes it away. I just fucking love that little attention to detail. AND THEN, as Verónica gets her face reaaaaally close to her, you can totally see Alex’s eyes darting downwards towards her lips three times, by my count, looking SO FUCKING SMITTEN I wanna claw my face off so that little smile of hers is the last thing I see.

And towards the end she isn’t even smiling anymore, she just looks ready for Verónica to kiss her whenever she wants (which she actually does, even if it’s a chaste, almost “friendly” peck just to tease her because that’s how Vero rolls and that’s why we love her). I just fucking love this entire sequence because smitten!Alex is something I didn’t know I needed in my life and, tbh, it’s also the reason why in the end I couldn’t care less about the sex scene with Conrado, because she has never (and probably will never) been shown looking at him like that. We just keep winning!

I also love how, after that, she casually takes the apple from Verónica’s hand and starts eating it, in that same easy intimacy that we’ve been seeing between them since last season, like when Verónica automatically poured her a wine glass while “Martina” was dicing peppers (I think?) for dinner or when Alex poured one for herself and Verónica came in and drank from it and then they just shared it back and forth. Their chemistry is just astounding.

Anyway, to think that, after watching it for the first time, I was actually kinda disappointed in that, after the goldmine that was episode 1, this episode was sorely lacking in interactions between these two and Alex spent the majority of the time with Conrado (*yawn*), plus the fact that the episode was only 42 minutes long and we lost a good chunk of it to dudes talking about Óscar’s dirty businesszzZZz. But upon reflection, this scene and the twist ending continued to give me things in my wishlist wrt these two: a flirty scene where Alex smiles at Verónica in the most smitten way possible and a first real kiss. If I’m being honest, I don’t think I would have added anything except making the kiss at the end go on for a bit longer and not be cut so abruptly, because even that was shot exactly how I wanted (LMAO I’m so anal, but I have such trauma from poorly shot f/f kisses and I have zero tolerance for that shit). Other than that? Utter perfection. I’m genuinely starting to worry about when things will start to go downhill but shhh, let’s enjoy this while it lasts.

#thoughts no one cares about

0 notes