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#somehow people will figure out you lied
the-sprog · 2 months
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I am a 'shortest side!Janus' truther based solely on the fact that in Italian (and a few other European languages apparently) there's this saying: "Le bugie hanno le gambe corte" ("lies have short legs" meaning if you tell a lie, it won't last long)
In my head, he's at least a head shorter than everyone else
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thedisablednaturalist · 6 months
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Unfortunately all chatgpt is good for is interview/job application stuff which I think says a lot about the hiring process as a whole
#wrenfea.exe#as an actual artifical intelligence? no its horrible bc it really ISNT one#its a writing synthesizer it generates writing based on data searches and boundaries from training#thats what a neural network is its a very convoluted input-output sequence#it has no capacity to understand the meaning behind what it generates#it is simply generating the specific things that the user is looking for#the job interview process has become so robotic and automized that ai fits in perfectly#but employers HATE that people are turning to chatgpt for cover letters and interview answers#so it was fair for them to use filtering programs to accept/deny applications before it got in front of an actual human being#and its ok for them to use ai and pre-written formats to make job announcements descriptions and interview questions#but god forbid we are forced to use those exact same tools to get a humans attention so we can get a job and not starve#pushing aside the whole copyright debate on chatgpt and the environmental impact of its power usage btw#im soley analyzing how its become commonly utilized on both sides#by interviewer and interviewed#the mechanization of the whole process is now on both sides#it just seems very inhuman..#its also how some people have figured out how to somehow become employed multiple times by the same company due to lack of human oversight#and how automated theyve made their hiring process#probably should have made these tags into a separate reblog oops#also disclaimer do not cut and paste right into your application materials bc chatgpt often just lies#also many places now can tell you used chatgpt due to how similar its answers are#i only use it to make a template and see how things can be phrased to be more professional and buzzwordy#id never use it for something actually creative#and dear god do not write academic essays with it#i tried using it to supplement my own cover letter template but it was too robotic even for a cover letter#it is very good at accessing and summarizing publically available information#thats all it does not make sure the information is true or good
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qqueenofhades · 3 months
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I just feel like even if we all vote and Biden wins, Trump won't accept the loss, and eventually they'll just put him in anyway. And then there won't be another real election. Even if Biden wins and somehow is actually confirmed (which again, I think is unlikely) we're going to have to do this for 30 more years because of the SC, and that isn't at all sustainable.
All this isn't to say I won't vote but I just think people are being way too optimistic about what happens if Biden wins. I don't think him winning will keep Trump out or the horrible fascist future at bay.
Look, I get the fear. I do, I do... but this is also one of the times when you have to ask if it's actually telling you something true, or if it's just preying on that generalized feeling of doom to make everything seem hopeless even if we win again. And that is... there is absolutely no actual mechanism for Trump to be installed as president if Biden wins the Electoral College (since as we have repeatedly seen, the popular vote is immaterial). SCOTUS is horrible and evil and are trying to interfere as much ahead of time for Trump as they can, but part of that is because they can't simply issue an order for Biden to be removed and Trump to become God King By Fiat. That is not how it works. If Biden wins in November, he will be president until his term ends, he steps down, Kamala takes over, or anything else.
Trump tried a coup with all the entire overwhelming might of the US government as the sitting president last time; fortunately, it failed. Reforms to the Electoral Count Act have been made to prevent another January 6. The Department of Defense and the military are still under (and would be on another January 6) Biden's command, not Trump's. That's not to say that Trump won't try some shit with his insane cult followers, but he is just a late 70s conman from Queens out on bail and under sentence for a criminal trial, who is already the biggest and most disgraced loser and asshole in American political history. He is so desperate to cheat his way back into power because in a real sense, this IS the last-chance saloon for him. He can't put off the legal proceedings, however long they take, for another four years. He's losing his marbles at a rapid rate. I'm just saying: we don't know what or when, but there will be (and already have been) real consequences for him. That is why he is scrabbling so hard.
"Even if we vote, nothing matters and Trump will win anyway" is another of those insidious lies that works to make you feel as if the battle is endless and pointless and none of its victories matter. Of course it will not all be magically fixed forever if Biden wins. We will still have to figure some godforsaken fucking way to expand SCOTUS or kick Alito and Thomas off it. But we will have bought ourselves, our democracy, our country, and the world time to do that, and put another nail in Trump's coffin. That matters. It matters a lot.
Fascism wants to present itself as overwhelming, irresistible, inevitable, and ready to happen no matter what you do, and that's what your brain wants you to buy in now. But that's not the case, Trump is not inevitable or some all-powerful monolith (in fact, another of the debate takeaways seemed to be that Biden looked bad but people still hate Trump too much for it to really shift anything). He is a loser, a fraud, a conman, a liar, and a crook, and he WANTS you to fear him like an almighty god. Don't give him or the MAGAGOP the satisfaction.
Frankly, having to endure another four months of this might kill us all, and I know that we are tired and scared (me too). But IT IS NOT INEVITABLE THAT WE ARE DOOMED. Not at all. Let's hang onto that and tell that anxiety doom voice to shove it.
Hugs.
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lizardsfromspace · 1 month
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The factchecking this cycle has been so profoundly incompetent that it's finally getting some real backlash, but the extent of it really should be clear. So much of factchecking is not based in reality, but in a kind of contorted moon logic that can find true claims to be false and false ones to be true based on wildly inconsistent reasoning.
But this one really shows off some of the base assumptions of modern factchecking, and also bc it got a community note which is funny:
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Let's take this one by one
The idea that quotes have any options but "he said it" or "he didn't say it". It is a binary, maybe with a third option of "it was clipped wildly out of context", but something you see constantly now is the idea that quoting someone's direct words without deceptive editing or removal of context can somehow be false
Pointlessly noting that it's from 2016, and that it's not clear if he currently believes it. What the hell does that matter to the question of if he said that in 2016? People understood that the "dig up someone's tweets from when they were 17" thing was inane, but they counter-balanced by apparently deciding that citing anything someone said more than about six months ago is Misinformation if we don't have objective evidence they would say the exact same thing now, even if there's no evidence they believe anything else. Analyzing someone's high school tweets and analyzing something the literal President said seven years ago are not equivalent
Noting that he walked it back following criticism. You see this constantly, too. Again, what does that matter to the question of if he said it? But this is just taken as a given now: if someone gets blowback and says "whoops I didn't mean it", that should be taken at face value. Effectively, Politifact is letting Donald Trump self-factcheck Donald Trump: their only evidence (and I read the article too) this is at all false is that Donald Trump said Donald Trump didn't really mean the words he said, so they must agree with the judgment of Donald Trump that Donald Trump was treated so unfairly here.
A general confusion over what factchecking is. If you're asked "did Donald Trump say this in 2016?", your sole job is to determine if he really said that in 2016. It's not to divine if he, deep in his heart, still believes it now. That's completely irrelevant.
The two guiding principles of modern factchecking are this: one, it's strongly rumored - and also, obvious to everyone literate - that the major factchecking sites have either standing orders to find equal numbers of lies on both sides, or are staffed by people who think it's their job to hold both sides equally to account (the exception is Snopes, whose writers are just terrible at their jobs). In the name of this, Donald Trump can say something on camera only for it to be judged false, while a Democratic politician can be excoriated for mildly rounding down a figure in a speech. A factchecking website once determined that saying climate change was a threat to life on this planet was a lie, because climate change won't kill all life on this planet. Politifact's lie of the year one year was a Democrat saying a Republican plan would "end Medicare as we know it", which was judged to be a lie because it wouldn't literally end Medicare completely. Figurative language needs to be scoured, comments said directly on camera need to be made fuzzy. This makes factchecking sites worthless at factchecking, because what even is this?
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It's not true that Donald Trump will refuse to accept the election results, because he's merely said he won't accept, and has said if he loses, it's only because the election was fraudulent. Okay, what, do you demand that people prove he said his plans in exact words? What is the actual, functional difference between "he said he won't accept it" and "he said if he loses it's because he won and they stole it from him, and he won't commit to saying he'll accept it"? What are you talking about, who is this for? When you go to the Logic and Reason Site for Debunking & end up having to puzzle out their convoluted logic and reasoning to understand anything, the plot's been lost a bit
The other is the idea that context is exonerating. Any context at all. If they said they didn't mean it, partially false. If they walked it back, partially false. If they said it was taken out of context, partially false. If they said it a certain number of years ago, partially false. If there's a longer video, even if it shows functionally the same thing, pants on fire, five pinocchios.
Again, we have footage of Trump saying this, and the footage in the ad is unedited, and the factchecking website is declaring something that OBJECTIVELY HAPPENED WITH HARD EVIDENCE IT HAPPENED didn't really happen bc we don't know his heart, maybe he believes something different now, we simply can't know for certain. But we do know for certain. Because "false" at least used to mean "didn't happen". But factchecking sites are now on those Beyond Belief definitions of "true" and "false" I guess
But the real problem here is that they just accept anything someone being factchecked says at face value. Because, and I can't believe I'm saying this
It seems like the people paid to determine if other people are lying...have forgotten that people lie sometimes
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rxzennia · 2 months
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don't you worry child
– tales of the voracity pathstrider
✎𓂃 so like i lied and now here’s something not on my wip list. remember the theme park scene with three aventurines? this is loosely based on that. young kakavasha calls you mister like twice but that’s cause you’re looming tall. i wish i could yap about more exploring the map, but it’s already way too long :( would’ve speedran this fic but i was trying to beat divergent v (spoiler alert, i’m still trying)
“for in every adult there dwells the child that was, and in every child there lies the adult that will be.” 
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when aventurine showed you the dream bubble made of his memories, he wasn’t expecting to bare his inner child to you. he thought it’d be some of his earlier days at the ipc, some of his conquests and schemes, or maybe some of his glorious wins at the casino, not what he has buried for so long – and definitely not something he’s tried so hard to deny for so long. sure, he will tell you eventually, but not now. not yet, not when he’s barely ready. 
and yet here you are, face to face with a child whose height barely reaches your hips. alone. aventurine said he’d be here with you, but where the hell is he?
you agreed to give your boyfriend’s(?) dream bubble a try, but where are you?
no one’s confessed but there are already rumors in the office so like tentatively dating, you suppose
and who is this small human in front of you?
you adjust your scarf, pulling it a little higher as you stare at the boy
he stares back at you
you try to not glare at him, but for all you know, you might still be glaring anyway
a few minutes pass, and the child blinks at you
he lifts one hand up, look at his feet then back at you, then he tiptoes
"you’re so tall, mister!" 
you look around for anyone else. there’s no one else.
"me?" you point at yourself
you’re not good with kids, you don’t know if you should bother engaging him, but hey, he’s just a kid
no reason to ignore him or tell him to leave you alone
if anything, him being all the way out here in the unregulated areas of the theme park means you should do something about it
maybe you should bring him back to the main area?
"yes, you, mister!" the child nods enthusiastically. "woah, you’re so big! can you come down a little?"
first off, that’s what she said. second, and more importantly, how is he not remotely intimidated by your presence? you’re a pretty towering figure even by your own standards, and you don’t exactly have a friendly face, so the fact that a kid of all people started talking to you…
but the more you look at him, the more you feel a sense of deja vu. his face reminds you of someone you know, but his demeanor is, like, the furthest thing away from that person.
you can’t really say no to him, so you crouch down slowly
you don’t know how to interact with him, but you can at least satisfy his curiosity
"like this?" you’re now a head and a half taller than him. somehow, he takes this as a sign to approach
"child, has no one taught you to not talk to strangers?" 
he gasps, like he suddenly remembered everything his parents warned him to not do, and he lowers his head like he’s just done something bad
"b-but you don’t seem like a bad person!" he bursts out, clumsily fiddling with his fingers. "you, you don’t give me the same feeling bad people do…"
"you should still be careful." you sigh as you adjust your scarf so it’s not touching the ground. "well, that aside. i’m down here now. can i help you?"
you watch as they kid slowly walk up to you, the curiosity shining in his eyes
you didn’t deny his claims! that means you’re a good person!
you’re mildly fascinated by the delicate little human
"i’m looking for someone," he says, finally looking up at you again, "t-then i have to go home… but i’m a little lost…"
is this what the world has come to? a kid asking you for help? in a dream bubble of all things?
though you did agree to experiencing the whole thing, so you should probably play along
"alright." you nod. "how should i call you?"
the child brightens up when you agree to help, and he almost reaches for your hands before he remembered personal space
"umm," he starts, keeping his hands awkwardly half-raised, "my name is kakavasha. mister, what about you?"
"kakavasha, hm?" you say, and you offer him one hand. you briefly wonder if it’s okay to tell dream kakavasha your name – this doesn’t seem like a typical dream bubble and all – but worst comes to worst, you’ll just force your way out.
so you tell the child your name, and you feel an overwhelming sense of adoration when he gingerly tries to repeat the syllables that you’ve just said.
dragon hoarding treasure moment intensifies
this kid is going to grow up into the man you know today? absolutely crazy
you’re kind of spacing out as you try to reconcile the kid in front of you with your boss
and while you’re doing that, you vaguely hear him repeating your name over and over again
"yes, that’s close enough." you finally interrupt his attempts to perfect his pronunciation. "where to, kakavasha?"
you stand up, and holy shit you’re so much taller than him
you briefly wonder if you can even hear him from all the way up there…
you can. you hear him crisp and clear. 
maybe a little too clear
he’s loud.
"can i lead the way?" he asks, as if you’d say no to him (???)
he grabs onto your hand without any reservations and he starts to drag you off
what do you do??? no human interaction has prepared you for children??? because no kid wanted to approach you like ever???
you’re taken so much by surprise that you kind of just… froze up
cue him trying to tug you somewhere but failing miserably
he tries with both hands, but you still wouldn’t budge
super confused
he tries harder
still nothing??? just how big is this big person???
"oh, sorry." you snap back to your senses, and you let him pull you to wherever he wants
after a few turns, pinball machines, and an entire maze later, you find yourself at the central stage, where aventurine did his grandest closing act. you can still see the slash of nihility, but it doesn’t seem that anyone else can see it. perhaps a distortion in the dream bubble itself?
kakavasha takes you straight to the center, right at where the slashed monitor sits.
this whole thing hasn’t sat well with you since you touched that bloody dream bubble
where the fuck is aventurine?
who is kakavasha trying to find?
why would they be here?
unless…
you come to a stop when kakavasha stops to look around. 
"oh, mister’s not here anymore." he whispers, lowering his eyes and fiddling with his fingers, "of course he wouldn’t be waiting…"
you slowly walk up by his side. "who exactly are we looking for? i don’t think you’ve ever told me."
"oh!" kakavasha gasps, "oh." he sputters a little, and he points to the stage. "i ran into a really cool mister earlier, and apparently he’s an actor!" 
now you know who he’s talking about
is this dr edward’s experimental model or something? it’s rare to see memoria taking such form
not that you understand memoria
did aventurine give you this dream bubble knowing this will happen?
so when he said he’d be around, did he mean…?
did he literally regress for this???? what is this, the most fantasy novel to have ever fantasized?
or is he watching you like some guy watching a playthrough of a rpg?
or is this entire thing a bug? because you thought you still have a few years to go before aventurine would even think of letting you so far into his mind
you sigh, it’s all far too complicated for you to think about
you’ll focus on the kid for now
"i see," you reply. you didn’t want to give such a dry response, but what are you even supposed to say? 
"but he seemed a little sad…" kakavasha mumbles, "i was hoping to catch him after his show…"
you’re slightly tempted to say "well you just missed him", but your brain is telling you to not do it
fine, you’ll hold your tongue :(
you watch as the child run around
you give him a few ten minutes before you crouch and open one arm for him
"come on," you sigh, "we’ll be here all day."
kakavasha looks at you, at your unreadable eyes, then your arm, then he tentatively slots himself into your side.
"woah, you’re so tall!" he exclaims when you slowly stand up with him on your shoulder. "i’m so high up! hehe!"
"i know, you’ve said that already," you deadpan
for how unfriendly you are, you sure aren’t hiding your worries well
your other arm has been hovering in front of the boy since the moment you stood up
and you’ve been careful with keeping your arm steady while you walk
"you see him?" 
"no…" comes kakavasha’s downtrodden reply. "i don’t have much time left, papa and mama will be worried if i don’t go home soon…"
you play along, wandering around for kakavasha to look for his adult self. "that’s a shame."
he turns to stare at you
you sound like you don’t give too much of a shit
but he can see that you’re a gentle person at heart
why else would you follow him around, hold his hand, and now lift him up so he can get a better view?
and you’ve also made sure that no monsters could get him
he makes a sad noise when you end up right in front of the monitor
you wonder if he could also see the slash of nihility, or if he intuitively sensed something
he taps your shoulder, a series of quick, feather-light pokes
"down?" you ask, but you’re already lowering kakavasha back onto the ground.
he approaches the broken monitor. "mister… did his show go well?" he grasps your hand tightly. "it was a great success, wasn’t it?"
you feel for the child, you really do. but this is a dream, an illusion where your actions won’t make any actual difference. you want to wrap him up and coddle him, but in the end, that will change nothing. 
"that it was." you nod, and you envelop his way smaller hands in your own. "the greatest success anyone’s ever seen."
somehow, your heart hurts when he breaks into a smile
"i’m glad." he says, like a weight’s been lifted off his chest
he probably already knows what happened
he knows himself best, after all
it’s not like you expect the child in front of you to be able to see through aventurine’s act
but they’re one in the same
that reckless abandon and affinity to games of chance didn’t come out of nowhere
you’re fairly certain he has his own guesses as to what happened to that "mister"
"do you know where the really cool mister is now?" kakavasha asks, looking at you with the most innocent gaze you’ve ever seen. "is he doing well?"
you can’t help but hear the subtext in his words, and you let out a soft snort. 
it’s such a "him" thing to do.
"i don’t know," you answer honestly, for you really don’t know. "but what i am certain of… is that he is not doing too badly."
you take note of the portal that slowly appeared in the middle of the stage. a picture frame, a crack, and hands prying that crack right open. 
you look into the distance, past the slash, past penacony, into the stars
"he’s alive," you say, "he’s living. will live."
you snap yourself out of your trance and look at the child next to you
"i’ll look after him, don’t worry."
you hope those words could be some sort of reassurance to him
"promise?" he offers you a pinky. "pinky promise?"
that’s cute
a quick image of others seeing you making a pinky promise flashes before your eyes
but what’s more important than the present?
"pinky promise." you hook your pinky with his. "i’ll make sure the really cool mister lives well."
kakavasha finally notices the portal, and he realizes it’s time to go home. he’s stayed out for too long, and now his family wants him home.
wherever home is to him, anyway
how do you even go home through a portal in a dream bubble
ever considered that maybe it’s better if you didn’t question everything
you let him drag you towards the portal
he doesn’t want to say goodbye to you quite yet
he’s pretty interested in this tall, scary person who isn’t actually scary at all
and he really wants to become friends with you (more like spend more time with you)
but he really needs to go, before his parents start to worry
you understand, of course you do, with how he’s fidgeting and glancing between you and the portal
and the face of a kid who’s just been told their playtime is over
so you nudge him a little, hoping that it’ll prompt him to go
are you surprised when it doesn’t work? not really? me neither
he refuses to let go of your hand
like legit just does not, even if both he and you know he has to
what can you do in such a scenario???
nothing’s prepared you for a silent tantrum
can you even call it a tantrum??? 
quick, come up with something!
alas, it doesn’t feel right to simply wave and part ways
"young kakavasha." you kneel down and unwrap your scarf from your neck. "take this with you," you say as you wrap the fabric around him, paying the strange feeling of exposing your scales no mind. you open your mouth to elaborate, but your words die in your throat. 
kakavasha looks at you; he doesn't need to crane his neck for once, and he flinches from the foreign feeling of your fingers ghosting ever so slightly against his face. for how much you’ve taken care of him while he wandered around the theme park, you’re still only a really kind stranger. nowhere close enough to be giving each other gifts.
"it gets cold at night," you say, finally cracking a tiny smile for the child before you, your hand landing on top of his head gently. "you’ll at least be warmer this way."
you watch kakavasha’s bewildered expression as he touches his new scarf, feeling the smooth fabric and how oddly chunky it feels looped around him. it isn’t a bad feeling, not at all. it’s more like a big hug, the sort that scares away the monster under the bed and wards off nightmares.
"thank you…" he mumbles, still dazed and taken by the new addition to his limited wardrobe. he lifts his face to look at you, taking note of your iridescent scales and your soft gaze. he beams, a grin so bright that it ignites even your inhuman heart. "i’ll treasure this! it feels so nice… thank you so much!"
"mm. go on, now." you nod, and you nudge him towards the portal. "don’t keep your family waiting."
kakavasha blinks at you. "you’re not coming?" he asks, tilting his head to the side innocently. 
"unfortunately." you beckon him forward and give him a small kiss on the top of his head before you stand up fully. "if fate shall have it, though… i suppose we will meet again."
"sis has always said that i’m blessed with fortune!" kakavasha almost jumps to grab onto you, but he just misses your shoulders by a hair. "see you next time!"
he spends a good minute waving at you before he turns around to leave. somehow… you feel an overwhelming sense of sadness. an inexplicable wave of melancholy washes over you like frigid waves on a windy day, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
you watch the child until he disappears into the frame, and you don’t look away for another minute.
"see you, kakavasha."
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yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶
i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)
have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖
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i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...
i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned
mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭
i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔
i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends
i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about
people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled
in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol
the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭
its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭
mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)
i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.
its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!
she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!
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she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"
she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)
she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.
he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.
THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.
she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7
but again, those are the consequences of HER actions
her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭
their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"
its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!
you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)
everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.
obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.
the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"
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she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!
just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.
im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!
im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.
i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!
i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process
talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol
i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭
its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.
all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.
i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.
also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!
thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!
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hqbaby · 4 months
Text
sixteen — what happened
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mess it up — gojo x reader & sukuna x reader
⁀➴ when i told you i’m fine, you were lied to. when the love of your life falls for someone else, you decide to move on—by pretending to date your best friend, the campus fuckboy.
previous — masterlist — next
word count. 2.1k content. profanity, mentions of alcohol consumption, break up scene
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Satoru swears that he must’ve missed the signs. He was always so good at reading you, at figuring out your next move, at trying to piece together what the next step was for the two of you. He was always alert, always aware. So he doesn’t know how he missed the signs, how he couldn’t see what must’ve been happening right before his eyes.
He remembers waking up the morning after one of Yuji’s infamous ragers, the ones that always sent people stumbling home at six in the morning, passing out in the classes that they were unlucky to have the next day. He remembers touching the space in his bed where you were supposed to be, eyes closed but certain that his fingers would eventually brush against the skin of your shoulder, the warmth of your neck.
He remembers opening his eyes then when all he was met with was the cold sheets of his bed. You had left your imprint on his mattress, but you were nowhere to be found.
He got out of bed, barely awake, but already intent on one goal: Finding you.
You couldn’t have wandered too far, but you weren’t in the bathroom down the hall—the one he shared with Yuta and Suguru—and you weren’t on the landing before the second floor, the one with a bay window that you often spent your time looking through with a cup of coffee in your hands.
Satoru nearly fell as he stumbled down the stairs, bare feet loud against the wooden steps. Where could you have gone? Where would he find you?
Eventually, he found his way to the dining room, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw you sitting at the table, eyes low as you nursed a glass of water in your hands.
He remembers how you looked at him then. Not with your usual bright smile. Not even your lazily hungover grin. You looked at him like a deer caught in the headlights, like you were somehow guilty of something he didn’t exactly know.
“Hey, princess,” he greeted, walking over to plant a kiss on your forehead. When his lips touched your skin, he noticed the way you flinched. It was small, a slight movement that could’ve been passed off as you simply moving against his touch. But he knew it was something else. He didn’t know how, but he could tell.
He pulled back, worry painted across his features. “You okay?”
You weren’t even looking at him, you had your eyes glued to the glass in your hands. You hummed, a strained sound, like you were trying to make it sound normal and you were failing horribly. “I’m good, ‘Toru,” you told him. “All good.”
He opened his mouth to ask you if you were sure. If you meant what you were saying. But he knew better than to question you.
You slipped out of your chair and started puttering about the kitchen, putting away bowls on the drying rack, placing slices of bread in the toaster, making a batch of fresh coffee. You were just trying to help out, you told him when he asked you why you were doing all that. Satoru couldn’t bring himself to press, to ask what was wrong, to ask why you were acting so strange.
When you left the house, you only gave him a peck on the cheek before you were rushing out the door. It was as if you couldn’t get out of there fast enough. You couldn’t stand to be around him any longer.
“She leave?” Naoya asked, stepping out of his bedroom. He yawned, stretching his arms behind his back as he did.
Satoru nodded, a frown on his lips. “Yeah,” he said. “She was… weird.”
His housemate chuckled. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” Satoru said, because he truly had no clue what that was all about. “It was like she was avoiding me the whole time.”
“Ah, well, she’s a girl,” Naoya told him. “Girls are weird sometimes.”
Satoru couldn’t seem to argue with him. As much as he wanted to, the whole interaction with you had rendered him depleted, unable to think about anything other than the fact that you had been so distant. So cold.
Naoya patted him on the back on his way to the kitchen. “She’ll come around,” he said. “You gonna eat this toast?”
Your boyfriend shook his head. “You can have it,” he murmured. “I’ll be in my room.”
“Okay, big guy,” his housemate said. As Satoru started up the stairs, Naoya called after him, peering up at him when he stopped in his tracks. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it. Maybe she just needs some space.”
Satoru nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Maybe.”
The next few days didn’t prove to be any better. Satoru tried continuing the little routines the two of you had built in your time together. Picking you up from training. Meeting with after your classes. Having dinner on nights when the two of you were free.
Everything seemed normal on the surface. A happy girlfriend with her devoted boyfriend. You played the roles well, but that was all it felt like—roles that the two of you were fulfilling for no other rhyme or reason aside from the fact that you were supposed to be a couple.
The change had happened seemingly overnight. Before that morning in the kitchen, Satoru hadn’t noticed a change in your behavior. The two of you were fine. Perfect even.
At Yuji’s party just the night before, you had been your regular sparkling self. You filled the room with endless conversation, mindless drunken chatter. At some point, you had even looked up from a conversation with Suguru to smile at your boyfriend when you realized that he was looking at you.
Satoru realized that was the last time you smiled at him that way.
It had been building up when it finally happened. When you decided to put the final nail in the coffin.
“I don’t think this is working,” you told him that afternoon on the steps of the science building. “I think we should break up.”
Even then, Satoru found himself caught completely off-guard. He had seen this coming and yet that didn’t seem to be enough. Because he didn’t know why it had come in the first place, he had no clue.
“But why?” he asked. He tried to reach for your hand, but you were already stepping back, already pulling away. You wouldn’t even look him in the eye. “You can’t just do this to us.”
You gnawed at your lower lip, playing with the hem of your shirt as you continued to avoid his gaze. “It’s not working,” you told him again, like it was the only thing you knew to say. “You’ve felt it too, haven’t you?”
“Tell me why.”
“Satoru, I don’t want to hurt you.”
The sound he let out was the most desperate one he’d ever made in his life. It was somewhere between a wail and a gasp, somewhere between pain and shock. “You’re already hurting me,” he told you. “At least have the decency to tell me why.”
“Because,” you said uselessly. You finally found it in yourself to look up at him, to meet his eyes, all wet now with tears. “‘Toru, please don’t cry.”
“Then don’t break up with me,” he insisted. “Princess, baby, please.”
But you were resolved. He could tell from the way you looked at him, your eyes full of tears, but also full of certainty. This wasn’t something he could argue his way out of. He could never argue with you. It was a winless fight.
What you said before you left would haunt him for the time thereafter. It would leave him with so many questions. So much confusion. So many sleepless nights, just trying to figure out what you meant. What possessed you to say such a thing.
“Maybe the next one will be the one for you,” you told him, offering him a smile that he was certain that he would remember for the rest of his life. Your lips quivered as you gave him one last look, one last pitiful goodbye, before you left, completely slipping out of his life.
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She doesn’t know how to bring this up. It isn’t the kind of thing you can just casually mention in a conversation. Not the kind of thing you can just ask someone about without having to face the repercussions.
She’s spent the past few minutes trying to figure out what the right plan of action is. She gives up. Propriety be damned, she thinks as she marches over to the bed.
“Satoru, what is this?” Kimi asks, letting the thing fall from her hands and onto the duvet beside the spot where Satoru sits.
He put his towel down, caught in the middle of drying his hair. He raises his brow at her before looking down at the thing she’s just dropped. His eyes grow wide. Fuck.
“I, uh, that’s just—fuck—I don’t—why were you going through my things?”
Kimi frowns, crossing her arms over her chest. “I wasn’t going through your things,” she tells him. “I asked to borrow a shirt, remember? It was in your drawer.”
Satoru stares at the box on his bed. Small, just enough to fit in the palm of his hand, covered in the tell-tale velvet that these kinds of boxes come in. He doesn’t need to open it to know what’s inside. He already knows. It can only be one thing.
He offers his girlfriend a sheepish grin. “Right,” he says. “I did tell you to look in there.”
She looks at him expectantly. “So? Can you tell me what that is?”
Satoru picks the box up, holds it in his hand with a tenderness it doesn’t deserve. “Don’t make me say it.”
Kimi sighs and sits down on the bed beside him. She watches as he turns the box over, studying each of its edges, the groves at the spot where the box opens. She may not love Satoru, but she’s been around him enough to care about him. To not want him to hurt as badly as he does.
“Was that for her?” she asks.
He hums, unable to say the words out loud.
Kimi pulls her legs up on the bed and holds her knees to her chest, swaying side to side and allowing her shoulder to gently bump against his. “I know you don’t wanna talk about it,” she says. “But I think I deserve to know a few things. With me being your girlfriend and all.”
Satoru turns to look at her, smiling softly as he presses a kiss to her temple. “Yeah, I know,” he says. “What do you wanna know?”
“What happened to the two of you?”
“Damn, coming at me with the big guns, huh?”
She lets out a little laugh. “It’s really the only question I have.”
Satoru purses his lips and shrugs. “I don’t know,” he tells her. “I really don’t know.”
“Did you ask her?”
“I tried. When she ended things.”
Kimi stops swaying and reaches over to place a hand on Satoru’s thigh. “I’m sorry.”
His hand moves to cup hers. “Thanks.”
“What was she like before she broke up with you though?”
“What do you mean?”
“I dunno,” Kimi says, pulling her hand away and placing it on her lap. “It’s just that relationships don’t usually go from perfect to dead without something happening. Did you get in a fight?”
Satoru shakes his head. “No, not a fight,” he says. “But I did notice she was acting weird before that. I don’t know.” He looks at Kimi like a sad puppy, pouting. “You’re a girl, you probably have more insight than me. What do you think happened?”
“Well, I don’t know her that well,” Kimi says. “Or you for that matter. But…”
“But?”
“When someone breaks up with you out of nowhere, there was probably a trigger,” she tells him. “Maybe she did something. Or maybe you did. Or maybe something happened in her life that had something to do with your relationship. Or maybe someone said something to her, got in her head, you know. Could be a bunch of things, but it was probably something.”
It’s not a lot, but hearing her say it just confirms what Satoru’s been thinking this whole time. Something must have happened for you to change so drastically, for you to want out of the relationship just like that.
He looks at the box in his hand. Inside is the ring that he—admittedly stupidly—picked out way before either of you were actually ready to get married. He had a lot of hope in the two of you, and he knows that for the longest time, you did too.
He doesn’t know what happened. He doesn’t know if he ever will.
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notes. needed to give my boy gojo some screen time 😌 we’re also getting closer and closer to what caused the break up and it’s getting more and more confusing 🫣
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forzalando · 3 months
Text
the element of surprise
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3k celebration blurb for @mvk1ma! friends to lovers!max with a bit of blurred lines friendship. you can find my celebration post here if you'd like to celebrate with me! open until the 16th :) wc: 1064 summary: max always throws you a birthday party - this year, he'd decided on a surprise party. however, the surprise isn't exactly what you expected.
Birthdays were never really your thing until you met Max Verstappen – somehow he’d turned the day from a reluctant celebration into something you looked forward to every year.
He always planned a party, attuned perfectly to what you’d be in the mood for whether it was a game night with close friends, a massive party at a club, or a dinner out with the few most important people in your life.
This year he’d planned a “surprise” party at his place – but was it really a surprise if you knew that something was going to happen?
You had lied when he asked you if you were surprised, and he knew you were lying, but he still smiled and fist-pumped like he’d just won some grand prize.
The party had been in full swing for a few hours and Max hadn’t left your side except to wait on you hand and foot. If he wasn’t refilling your glass or getting you a snack, his arm was wrapped around your waist. You were both in the kitchen chatting to Oscar, a newcomer to your friend group courtesy of Lando, about his past year working for McLaren as an automotive engineer.
The conversation lulled naturally, Oscar’s eyes drawn to Max’s thumb rubbing circles on your waist.
“So,” he chirped, “how long have you guys been together?”
“We’re not,” you answered coolly. “Why do people always ask us that?”
“You’re joking, right? You’ve been attached at the hip all night, there was cheek kissing! I saw you sitting on his lap earlier!”
“That doesn’t mean we’re together – we’re just close friends!”
Oscar’s eyes were wide, flicking back and forth between you and Max with a look of pure shock written on his face. His eyes finally settled on Max and his expression softened before he spoke.
“Good luck, mate,” he sighed, before walking away to join Lando, Carlos, and Alex in, what seemed to be, a very intense conversation about men’s football.
You twisted out of Max’s grip to face him – “That was weird, right? Oscar assuming?”
“What do you mean by weird?”
“It just never occurred to me that people would think that about us, so it felt weird.”
“The idea of being with me is weird to you? Why is that weird, would there be something wrong with that?”
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, his immediate defensiveness catching you completely off guard.
“Oh gosh no, Max, I just…I hadn’t considered it.”
In truth, you had considered it quite often, practically every minute that you spent with Max you thought about it. But, you’d been friends for years, his only dates were with models, and he was wildly successful. The idea itself wasn’t weird to you – only the thought that someone deemed it possible for Max to look at you that way.
“Never? You’ve never considered it? Never seen me that way?”
“Of course I have! But you haven’t so what am I supposed to do about it?”
He blinked rapidly, like his eyes were adjusting to the light, and then turned and walked away from you. Your mouth dropped open, you were sure you looked like a fish out of water, and of course everyone within earshot was staring at you with wide eyes.
“What the hell was that about?” Charles whispered from somewhere on your right. You heard a swatting sound and figured it was courtesy of Alex, a silent “shut up”.
Before embarrassment could fully set in, Max came storming back into the room with an envelope in hand, your name printed on the front with a heart. He didn’t even have to tell anyone to leave, just one look at his face had everyone scurrying into the living room.
“Read this,” he whispered, passing you the card in his hand.
You opened it carefully, slipping your finger under the seal and pulling out a copy of a photo of you and Max that Lando had taken of you two earlier this year. You were both smiling ear to ear, your faces smushed together and arms squeezing tight around the other. Just looking at the picture brought a smile to your face, and you almost protested when Max reached out to flip it over until you noticed the familiar scrawl of his handwriting.
Liefje,
Happy Birthday! I hope you were surprised, but I wouldn’t bet on it. Instead of a traditional card, I asked Lando for a copy of this picture – my favorite picture. Seeing you happy means everything to me and knowing that I put this smile on your face is the world’s greatest treasure. I hope to always make you smile this wide, feel loved beyond measure, and throw your birthday parties for the rest of our lives.
All my love,
Max
When your eyes lifted up from the photo, Max was looking at you the way he always did – soft eyes and a small smile, but the energy felt completely different.
“Does that sound like I only think of you as a friend? That I only care about you as a friend? You mean everything to me, I thought I was pretty obvious about it.”
“I guess I just never thought you’d see me that way, I never imagined that you cared about me as something more than a friend. I’ve always loved you, but I’m just me.”
“Exactly,” Max whispered, enveloping you in his embrace. You could feel the rapid beating of his heart in his chest and smiled knowing your heart was beating just as fast. As quickly as the moment began, a familiar accent sang through the air.
“Well, it’s about damn time,” Daniel shouted. Caught up in Max, you hadn’t noticed that the music had been turned down and your friends, although you loved them dearly, had been eavesdropping on your entire conversation.
“Alright, alright, everyone back to partying. And everyone say thank you to Oscar for asking the question that’s been on everyone’s mind since these two first met,” Lando gestured towards you and Max, as if anyone needed a visual to know who he was referring to.
As you looked around at all your friends here to celebrate you, decorations in your favorite colors and your favorite playlist now playing again from the speakers, all courtesy of Max, you decided that there was an element of surprise tonight: how shockingly oblivious you both had been.
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lila-lou · 3 days
Text
✨Taking her in - Pt. 1✨
Summary: After Dean Winchester saves your life, he brings you into the safety of the bunker. As you grow older and stronger, Dean refuses to let you join the hunts, his overprotective behavior intensifying. But beneath his fierce protectiveness lies something darker—conflicted feelings he can’t face. As your 18th birthday approaches, Dean struggles to keep control, torn between his duty to protect you and emotions he’s buried for too long.
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Warnings: 18+ only! HUGE Age Gap, Immoral, Underage Reader, Language
Word Count: 4536
A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨
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Living with the Winchesters had been a strange yet oddly comforting experience. A few years ago, you were just a scared kid, barely surviving on your own after your mom passed away. The world was a cruel place, and you had learned that the hard way. But that night—when those men had cornered you, when you thought it was all over—Dean appeared out of nowhere like a guardian angel, though with a lot more anger and fire in his eyes.
You still remembered the way he looked after it was all over, standing over the bodies of those men, his breath heavy, his knuckles bruised. Dean Winchester was no stranger to killing, but that night had been different. These weren’t monsters. They were people. And yet, he had done what he had to do, without hesitation, to save you.
When he brought you to the bunker, you were too shocked to argue much. The bunker was unlike any place you’d ever known—safe, hidden from the world, and full of secrets you could never have imagined. Dean had said it was just until you got back on your feet, just until he was sure you were okay. But somehow, days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and now, years had passed.
You never talked about that night, not in detail. Sam had tried a couple of times, but you always shut him down. Dean never brought it up either. Maybe it was because you all knew there was nothing left to say. Or maybe it was because none of you wanted to face what it meant—that Dean had killed for you, that he had saved you in a way you couldn’t quite repay.
But despite the horrors you had faced before meeting the Winchesters, the bunker had become a home. It wasn’t like the life you had before, where survival meant scrapping by on whatever you could find, sleeping with one eye open. Here, you had a family. Dean and Sam—despite all their mess and chaos—had become the brothers you never had. They taught you everything you needed to know to protect yourself from the supernatural, but more than that, they showed you what it meant to have someone’s back, to care about someone even when the world was falling apart.
Now, your 18th birthday was coming up, and you couldn’t help but feel a mix of emotions. Part of you felt like you should leave, like you should go out and start your own life. But another part of you—the part that had grown accustomed to the safety of the bunker, the warmth of the Winchesters—didn’t want to let go.
Even after all this time, the question still lingered in the back of your mind: why had Dean been so insistent on bringing you back to the bunker that night? It wasn’t like him to make such impulsive decisions, especially when it came to something as personal as taking in a stranger. Dean was a protector, sure, but he didn’t make a habit of dragging people into his life, especially not into the heart of the Winchesters’ world.
But with you, something had been different. Something had driven him to take that extra step, to bring you home, and even now, none of you could quite figure out why.
Dean had always been guarded, keeping his thoughts and emotions close to his chest. But from the moment he had found you, something had shifted in him. It was subtle, almost imperceptible, but it was there. The way he watched over you, more protective than usual, always making sure you were okay, even when you didn’t want to admit that you needed it. Sam noticed it too, the way Dean would check in on you late at night when he thought no one was watching, or how he would get that distant look in his eyes whenever the topic of your past came up.
It wasn’t that he pitied you—Dean Winchester wasn’t the type to pity anyone. It was something else, something deeper. And yet, no matter how many times you tried to puzzle it out, you never came any closer to understanding what had driven him to act that night.
Dean never took you with them on a hunt, no matter how much you argued or tried to convince him that you were ready. It was frustrating, especially after all the training they’d put you through, drilling you on everything from how to banish a ghost to the proper way to handle a silver blade. The supernatural world had terrified you at first—so much so that, in the beginning, you’d freaked out so badly that Sam and Dean had to tie you down until you could calm yourself. But you’d learned, adapted, and eventually, you stopped being scared. At least, you stopped showing it.
Still, no matter how much you insisted that you were ready, Dean refused to let you join them on hunts. He was firm about it, more so than usual, and it always left you feeling like you were still that scared kid they’d found all those years ago.
Today, the frustration had reached a boiling point. You’d spent the day in the bunker, alone, while they were out doing what they did best. By the time you heard the familiar rumble of the Impala pulling into the garage, you were practically seething.
As soon as the garage door creaked open, you saw them—Dean, covered in blood, and Sam, looking equally worn out but less battered. You stood in the doorway, arms crossed, trying to keep the irritation out of your voice but failing miserably as you grumbled, “How was it?”.
Dean didn’t even look at you as he brushed past, his expression dark, a sure sign that things hadn’t gone smoothly. His usual easygoing demeanor was replaced by something sharper, more on edge, and that only made your frustration spike.
“Still a bit fucked up since I had to stay behind. Again”, you added, the words slipping out before you could stop them.
Dean froze in his tracks, his back stiffening. He slowly turned to face you, and for a moment, you saw something flash in his eyes—something between anger and fear, though you couldn’t quite pin it down. His voice was low, almost a growl, when he finally spoke. “You think I want you out there? You think I’m keeping you here just for fun?”.
Sam, sensing the tension, glanced between the two of you, clearly torn between stepping in and giving you space to work it out. But he stayed silent, letting Dean handle it.
Your irritation flared. “I’ve been here for years, Dean. I know what’s out there, and I’m not some helpless kid anymore. I can handle myself”.
Dean’s jaw clenched, and he took a step closer, his voice dropping even lower. “You don’t get it, do you? I’m not keeping you here because I don’t think you can handle yourself. I’m keeping you here because I don’t want you out there, getting hurt, or worse”.
You didn’t back down, meeting his glare head-on. “That’s not your decision to make, Dean. I’ve been through enough. I deserve to be out there, helping, not sitting around like some… liability”.
Dean’s face twisted into something almost pained, and for a second, you thought he might actually tell you what was really going on, why he was so adamant about keeping you out of the field. But then, just as quickly, the mask was back, and he shook his head, frustration radiating off him.
“Enough, Y/N”, he snapped, turning away from you again, as if the conversation was over. But you weren’t ready to let it drop.
“Yes, Dean, it’s enough!”, you shot back, stepping into his path. “You keep treating me like a kid, but I’m not. Why can’t you see that?”.
Dean’s eyes blazed as he glared at you, his face a mixture of anger something deeper, more desperate. His voice came out like a whip, sharp and cutting. “Go to your fucking room, Y/N!”.
For a moment, you were too stunned to respond. Dean had been angry before, sure, but this? This was different. The raw intensity in his voice sent a shiver down your spine, but instead of backing down, you found yourself standing your ground, defiance burning in your chest.
You raised your brows, trying to decide if you wanted to laugh at the absurdity of him ordering you around like a child, or scream at him for treating you like one. The corner of your mouth twitched upward despite the tension, and you could see the effect it had on him immediately. If Dean was pissed before, now he looked like he was barely holding himself together as he saw the hint of a smirk on your face. It was as if your defiance was the last thing holding him together, but also the thing threatening to tear him apart. His fists clenched at his sides, the knuckles still raw from whatever fight he and Sam had just returned from, and for a moment, you thought he might actually lose it.
But instead of yelling again, instead of pushing further, he just closed his eyes for a brief second, taking a deep breath as if trying to regain control. When he opened them again, his expression had shifted—still intense, but with an undercurrent of something you couldn’t quite place. Pain? Fear? It was hard to tell.
The air in the room seemed to crackle with tension as Dean’s voice, low and dangerously calm, filled the space. “I fucking swear, Y/N, if you won’t go to your fucking room now, I’m gonna lose my shit”. The words were delivered with such a raw, barely contained fury that it made your breath hitch in your throat. You’d never seen him like this before, not even during the worst of hunts or the most heated arguments. Even Sam, who had seen Dean at his worst, looked shocked—his eyes widening in surprise and concern as he watched his brother teeter on the edge.
For a moment, you stood frozen, unsure of how to respond. Part of you wanted to push back, to keep fighting, but the other part—the part that had spent the last few years learning to read Dean, understanding the depths of his pain and the limits of his patience—knew that this wasn’t the time. The way his chest heaved, the tightness in his jaw, the wild look in his eyes… He was hanging by a thread, and if you pushed him any further, you weren’t sure what would happen.
Your smirk faded as the seriousness of the situation sank in. You weren’t just in the middle of an argument anymore; you were standing at the edge of something far more dangerous. The fight left your body all at once, replaced by a heavy, sinking feeling in your gut.
“Okay”, you said, the defiance in your voice replaced with something calmer, more measured. You held your hands up in a gesture of surrender, trying to show him that you understood, that you were backing down. “I’ll go”.
Dean didn’t say anything, just watched you with those burning eyes, his fists still clenched so tight you could see the muscles straining in his forearms. He looked like as if the smallest thing might set him off.
You walked away without another word, the sound of your footsteps echoing softly down the hallway as you left Dean and Sam alone in the heavy silence of the bunker. The tension you left behind was palpable, thick enough that it seemed to hang in the air, making it difficult to breathe.
Sam watched you go, his brow furrowed with concern, before turning his attention back to Dean. His brother was still standing in the same spot, fists clenched at his sides, his entire body taut as if he was ready to snap at any moment. Sam knew Dean well enough to recognize when he was dangerously close to the edge, and right now, he was teetering on it.
“Dean”, Sam started cautiously, his voice low and calm, trying to diffuse the tension. “You need to take a breath, man. You’re too worked up”.
Dean didn’t respond immediately. His eyes were still locked on the spot where you had just stood, his mind clearly racing with thoughts he couldn’t quite articulate. It wasn’t until Sam took a step closer, placing a gentle hand on his brother’s shoulder, that Dean seemed to snap out of whatever dark place his mind had gone.
“Dean, talk to me”, Sam urged, his voice soft but insistent. “What’s really going on?”.
Dean’s eyes finally met Sam’s, and for a moment, it looked like he might shut down entirely. But then, as if the weight of everything he was holding inside became too much to bear, his shoulders slumped, and he let out a long, shaky breath.
“I’m losing it, Sam”, Dean admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, raw and stripped of all its usual bravado. “I’m losing it with her”.
Sam tightened his grip on Dean’s shoulder, his concern deepening. “What do you mean?".
Dean shook his head, his gaze dropping to the floor. “She doesn’t get it. She doesn’t understand how dangerous this life is. I can’t… I can’t let her go out there, Sam. Not her”.
Sam sighed, understanding more clearly now what was eating away at his brother. “Dean, I get it. You’re scared. But Y/N’s not a kid anymore. She’s strong, and she’s been through a lot. You can’t keep her locked up here forever”.
But that was exactly the point, and it gnawed at Dean in a way he couldn’t fully comprehend—or maybe just didn’t want to. He didn’t want to accept the fact that you weren’t a kid anymore, that you were growing up right in front of him. Every day that brought you closer to your 18th birthday was like a ticking clock in the back of his mind, counting down to a moment he wasn’t ready to face.
No one knew how Dean really felt about you. Hell, he wasn’t even sure he understood it himself. From the moment he had saved you years ago, something had shifted inside him. He could still remember the look in your eyes that night, the way your fear had melted into a kind of cautious trust as you looked up at him, and how, in that instant, his heart had clenched in a way it hadn’t in years.
He’d buried those feelings deep, refusing to acknowledge them, convincing himself it was nothing more than a protective instinct. You were just a kid, after all, someone who needed looking after, someone who had no one else in the world. And Dean was good at protecting people—that was what he did, what he had always done. But as the years passed, that simple instinct grew into something more complicated, something that twisted inside him, especially as you grew older.
Dean knew he was teetering on the edge of something he couldn’t afford to explore. You were still so young, and he had no business feeling anything for you beyond what a protector should feel. But now, with your 18th birthday looming, the reality was hitting him harder than he ever anticipated. Soon, you’d be legally grown up, able to make your own choices, live your own life. And the thought of losing you to that, of not being able to keep you safe the way he had for the past years, was driving him crazy.
Sam’s words echoed in his mind—You can’t keep her locked up here forever. He knew Sam was right, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept. Deep down, he was terrified. Not just of the dangers you’d face out there, but of what it would mean if he had to face the truth of his own feelings. Feelings that he had buried so deep that even he couldn’t fully acknowledge them, but that were starting to claw their way to the surface.
“Dean”, Sam’s voice broke through his thoughts, grounding him. “You have to let her grow up. She’s strong enough to handle this, and you know it. What are you so afraid of?”.
Dean swallowed hard, his throat tight. He could feel the storm of emotions churning inside him, but he couldn’t let them out. Not to Sam, not to anyone. He forced himself to meet Sam’s gaze, trying to keep his voice steady, but there was an edge of desperation he couldn’t quite hide.
“I just… I can’t let anything happen to her, Sam”.
“I get that, Dean. But she’s got a right to make her own choices. You can’t keep treating her like she’s still that scared kid you found years ago”.
Dean didn’t want to think about it any longer. The more he let his mind wander down that dangerous path, the more tangled and twisted his thoughts became, until it felt like he was drowning in them. The knot in his chest tightened, and the walls of the bunker suddenly felt too close, too confining.
“I’m gonna take a shower”, he muttered, the words coming out gruff and clipped, as if speaking them was a chore. Without waiting for a response, he turned on his heel and headed for the bathroom, his footsteps heavy and deliberate as if each step required more effort than it should.
Sam watched him go, concern etched into every line of his face. He wanted to follow, to press Dean further, but he knew his brother well enough to recognize when he needed space. This was something Dean had to work through on his own, at least for now.
Dean’s mind was still racing as he reached the bathroom. He closed the door behind him with a little more force than necessary, the sound echoing in the small space. For a moment, he just stood there, staring at his reflection in the mirror. The man looking back at him was a mess—bloodstains on his shirt, smudges of dirt and grime on his face, and eyes that looked far more exhausted than they should.
He tore his gaze away from the mirror, not wanting to face the reality of what he saw there. Instead, he focused on the mundane task of stripping off his clothes, each movement deliberate and methodical, trying to find some semblance of control in the routine.
The hot water hit his skin like a scalding wave, but he didn’t flinch. Instead, he welcomed the burning sensation, hoping it might somehow wash away the thoughts that were eating him alive. But no matter how hard he tried to focus on the physical sensation of the water, his mind kept drifting back to you—how you had looked at him with defiance and hurt in your eyes, how you had walked away without another word.
Dean leaned his head against the cool tiles of the shower, letting the water cascade over him, trying to drown out the thoughts that wouldn’t leave him alone.
He rubbed his face hard. The tension in his body only seemed to tighten with every second. Frustration bubbled up inside him as he blindly reached for the nearest bottle of shower gel, squeezing a generous amount into his hand. But the moment the sweet scent of vanilla hit his nose, his body reacted instantly, and not in the way he intended.
His breath hitched, and he cursed under his breath as blood rushed down to his crotch, his body betraying him in a way that made his skin crawl with shame. It was your scent—soft, warm, and undeniably you. The same scent that clung to the spaces you frequented in the bunker, that lingered faintly in the air whenever you passed by. He’d never let himself acknowledge how much that scent affected him before, how it seemed to wrap around his senses and pull him into thoughts he had no business having.
Dean’s hand tightened around the bottle, his knuckles turning white as he struggled to control the unwanted arousal that surged through him. He didn’t want this—didn’t want to feel this way, didn’t want to be the kind of man who thought about someone he was supposed to protect like this. But the scent was inescapable now, filling his lungs, invading his mind, and dragging him down a path he had tried so hard to avoid.
“Damn it!", he muttered, slamming the bottle back down on the ledge with more force than necessary, the sound echoing in the steamy space. His free hand pressed against the tile wall. He closed his eyes, trying to force himself to think of anything else—anything but the way your scent clung to him now, making him think of how close you were, just a few rooms away.
But his mind wasn’t cooperating. Images of you kept flashing in his mind—your smile, the way your eyes lit up when you were teasing him or Sam, the way your body moved with a confidence that had grown over the past years. He could see the way you looked at him, the mix of frustration and something else in your eyes, something that made his heart stutter in his chest. And no matter how much he tried to push it away, those thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone.
Dean squeezed his eyes shut tighter, the guilt and shame mixing with the undeniable need that was pulsing through him. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were someone he cared about, someone he was supposed to look after, not someone he was supposed to feel like this about. But the more he tried to deny it, the stronger the pull became, the harder it was to ignore the way his body responded to you.
“Get it together”, he growled to himself, trying to will his body to calm down, to stop reacting to something that should have never been an issue in the first place. But it was no use. The scent of vanilla was too strong, too intertwined with the image of you, and the more he tried to fight it, the more he felt like he was losing control.
Desperation clawed at him as he turned the shower knob, the water suddenly turning ice-cold. The shock of it hit him like a punch to the gut, but he welcomed it, hoping the frigid temperature would snap him out of whatever trance he had fallen into. The cold water rushed over his skin, causing goosebumps to rise and his muscles to tense.
His hand still pressed against the wall, Dean leaned his forehead against the cold tiles, letting the water beat down on him as he tried to focus on anything but the ache that was building in his body. He needed to get control, needed to shove these feelings back into the box he had locked them. But it was harder than he had expected—so much harder than it should have been.
Minutes passed, the cold water numbing his skin. Eventually, his breathing slowed, and the intensity of the arousal began to fade, leaving behind a cold, hollow feeling that settled in his chest. He felt like he’d crossed a line, even if only in his mind, and the shame of it was almost unbearable.
Finally, when Dean couldn’t stand the cold water anymore, he shut it off and leaned back against the shower wall, his breath coming in slow, steadying gasps. The biting chill had done its job, numbing his skin and, to some extent, dulling the raw edge of his thoughts, though the shame lingered like a bad taste in his mouth.
For a moment, he just stood there, eyes closed, trying to push everything out of his mind. He knew he needed to get a grip on himself, to regain some semblance of control before he faced you or Sam again. The last thing he wanted was to let them see just how close to the edge he was, how badly he was fighting to keep everything in check.
With a deep breath, Dean grabbed his own bottle of shower gel and squeezed a small amount into his hand, the familiar scent of cedar and spice grounding him. He lathered it up quickly, scrubbing his skin with a kind of urgency, as if he could wash away not just the grime from the hunt, but the thoughts that had crept into his mind uninvited. He repeated the process with his shampoo, letting the suds rinse away the last remnants of the day, trying to focus on the simple, repetitive motions.
Dean finished rinsing off and turned the water off with a sense of finality. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then stood in the small, steamy bathroom, staring at his reflection in the mirror once more. His face was flushed from the hot and cold water, his hair damp and tousled, but it was the look in his eyes that bothered him the most.
He looked… haunted. Like a man fighting a battle he knew he couldn’t win. And maybe that was exactly what was happening. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, to push it down, the feelings he had for you were there, lurking just beneath the surface, waiting for a moment of weakness to break free.
But he couldn’t let that happen. He wouldn’t. You deserved better than that—better than him. You were young, strong, full of potential, and you had a life ahead of you that didn’t need to be weighed down by his baggage. By his feelings.
Dean clenched his jaw, forcing those thoughts back down, locking them away in that box inside his mind where he kept everything that threatened to break him. He couldn’t afford to dwell on it, couldn’t afford to let himself slip. He had a job to do, and that was protecting you, keeping you safe.
With that final, resolute thought, Dean wrapped the towel tighter around his waist and opened the bathroom door. His mind was still racing, but he forced himself to focus on the immediate task—getting dressed, getting his head on straight, and burying these unwanted feelings deep where they couldn’t hurt anyone.
———————————
A/N: After I already started a damn long story for Jensen and Soldier Boy, here's one for Dean.
Please let me know what you think.🥰 
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Taglist: @blackcherrywhiskey @baby19sthings @suckitands33 @spnfamily-j2 @lyarr24 @deans-baby-momma @reignsboy19 @kawaii-arfid-memes @mekkencspony @lovziy @artemys-ackles @fitxgrld @libby99hb @lovelyvirtualperson @a-lil-pr1ncess @nancymcl @the-last-ry @spndeanwinchesterlvr @hobby27 @themarebarroww @kr804573 @impala67rollingthroughtown @deans-queen @deadlymistletoe @selfdestructionandrhum @utyblyn @winchesterwild78 @jackles010378 @chirazsstuff @foxyjwls007 @smoothdogsgirl @woooonau @whimsyfinny @freyabear @laaadygisbooornex3 @quietgirll75 @perpetualabsurdity @ladykitana90 @fullbelieverheart @chainsawsangel @zaratahir @rebecca-hvnstn
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forever-rogue · 2 years
Note
can I request a Joel Miller x reader fic where she's in love with him but is convinced he would never have feelings for her too as she's younger than him and shy and quiet but maybe all gets revealed (however you want to do that) 👉👈 super fluffy but put some angst in there too if you wish 🥰
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AN | Okay, but I love this so much ❤️
Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Warnings | Language
Word Count | 2.3k
Masterlist | Joel, Main
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
People always seemed to call you shy. 
And you were you supposed, in your own way. It had a lot of perks when you really thought about it, and one of the main benefits happened to be that people often seemed to leave you to your own devices. 
You liked that you had the ability to watch and observe people without question. There was a lot that could be learned when people thought they weren’t being watched. 
And one of your favorite people to study happened to be Joel Miller. 
He was a quiet man and often kept to himself more than anything, but there was still a lot to be gleaned from him. He was resourceful and smart, kind and friendly but not in an overbearing way, and generally…the object of your affections. Not that you would ever admit that to anyone else. You’d never said those words out all loud - and never would. No, that was a secret you would take to the grave. 
You were he probably already knew - you felt like a pathetic, rambling fool around him. He managed to erase every sensible thought in your head and the ability to form any coherent sentences. Instead you fumbled over your words, feeling warm and anxious…so you usually tried to avoid him as much as you. Sometimes it worked, but other times it seemed like he managed to find you or be in the same spot as you at every conceivable moment. 
It sucked. You were sure that one day you’d accidentally spill the beans or somehow give away that fact you were desperately in love with him. As long as you managed to keep your guard up, you were sure that it would all be fine. All you had to do was avoid him for the rest of your life. 
How hard could that be?
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Hey,” that familiar gruff cut through your internal monologue as you gasped in surprise and almost dropped at the stuff in your arms. You turned around to him Joel watched you with a bemused expression on his face, “you alright? Didn’t mean to scare you, kid.”
Kid. You hated when he called you that. It made you feel like you were nothing in his eyes. Just a mere inconvenience. A kid that happened to be in his way.
“‘s alright,” you mumbled, righting the basket in your arms as you turned back to the vegetables and fruits you were tending to, “didn’t hear you is all.”
“Didn’t hear me,” he chuckled, the sound warm and familiar as it made the butterflies in your stomach flutter like crazy, “I don’t think I was being quiet in the slightest. Must have been awfully focused on whatever is going on in that pretty little head.”
You froze, eyes widening at his words, but continued to pick the fresh vegetables. You were so thankful that your back was to him as you tried to shrug him off. Otherwise he might have sensed just how flushed your face was and the lovesick expression on your face. 
You. You, you, you. 
"Nothing," you lied through gritted teeth, attempting in vain to slow down the beating of your heart and higher octave of your voice, "just thinking about what new things to plant once the season changes."
"And what did you decide?" Oh yeah. He was totally calling your bluff. 
"About what?"
"The vegetables?" 
"Oh…umm…cucumbers?"
"That's a summer vegetable," you cringed as he made a small sound of amusement. Did the man really have to know everything? You remained silent but could hear him shift, "last time I checked its almost winter."
"Well," you make quick work of gathering the rest of your veggies and placing them gently into the basket, "I guess I'll figure it out later."
You stood up and quickly turned on your heel to leave, rushing to get away and put this whole situation behind. You felt his fingers wrap around your wrist and gently hold you back. When you met his eyes, you noticed the little smile on his face, "everything alright?"
"Peachy," you lied as you gently pulled out of his grasp, "see you around, Joel."
"See you, Kid."
You hoped that maybe you'd never see him again and therefore avoid ever making a fool outside of yourself. 
Unlikely.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“And just where do you think you’re going?” you almost jumped in surprise, a small sound of surprise escaping your lips before he clamped his hand over your mouth. He put a finger to his lips and shook his head. You relaxed slightly when you saw it was him. When he realized that you weren’t going to freak out he dropped his hand from your mouth.
“Joel!” you hissed at him, looking around to make sure no one had followed either of you, “what are you doing here?”
“The better question is what are you doing here?” he crossed his arms over his broad chest as he raised an eyebrow at you. You put an innocent smile on your face and shrugged, knowing you weren’t fooling him in the slightest. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about…”
“Are you asking me or telling me?” oh. He was loving this way too much already.
“Telling? Wait - no, telling you,” you huffed, annoyed with yourself for how nervous you suddenly felt, “I’m just…here.”
“Here,” he repeated as you nodded, “it looks like you were trying to sneak out of the safety of the QZ.”
“Ummm…” realistically there was no other thing you could have been doing in that particular location. You were both acutely aware of the truth of the situation, “I’m just hanging out.”
“Come on, Kid,” he reached up and brushed a few rogue strands of hair behind your ear, “I wasn’t born yesterday. I know you like to sneak out.”
“I don’t-”
“I don’t care that you do,” he dropped his voice to a whisper as you slowly swallowed thickly, “I care about the fact that it’s not safe.”
“You do it!”
“I can handle myself,” he insisted, putting his finger under your chin in order to turn your face up to his, “not that I don’t think you can. It’s different.”
“I don’t usually get into trouble,” you shrugged, “I just like getting out sometimes. It almost makes things feel normal sometimes.”
He regarded you for a few moments, inhaling deeply before exhaling slowly. Your heart skipped a few beats as you wondered if he would yell at you or get you in some sort of trouble, “let’s go.”
“I’m - wait. What?” your eyes widened in surprise when he definitely said the opposite of what you had expected, “go home?”
“Let’s go out,” he reached for your hand and gently took it in his before he started to tug you along towards the way out. You were rooted in place, staring at him incredulously. He laughed, the soft sound made butterflies explode in your tummy, “what?”
“You mean it?” you whispered as the smile on his face grew, “Joel?”
“Let’s go out in the world and get away for a little bit,” he insisted softly. A small part of you was convinced that this was all fake and that he was going to get you in trouble. But the larger part of you knew that Joel would never do just a thing. And the tender look in his eyes solidified that for you, “what do you say?”
“Yes,” you agreed with a shy smile and fervent nod, “let’s go.”
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“You should tell him, you know,” Lizzy nudged your side with your elbow and despite the serious look you were attempting to keep on your face, you giggled lightly. You ignored her comment as you turned back your attention towards the sky, as you studied the big, fat fluffy clouds. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you huffed, trying to tune out the way she looked at you with a coquettish little smirk, “busy Lizzy, mind your own business!”
“You’re my best friend,” she reminded you, causing you to grumble at her, but it was all laced with affection, “I’m a part of your life and I’m just trying to get you in the right direction.”
“There is no right or wrong direction,” you groaned, hiding your face in your hands, “there’s nothing there, Lizzy. I’m just a dumb kid with a big, fat crush and that’s all it’ll ever be. Can we drop it?”
“You’re so blind! It’s so obvious that he feels the same,” you loved Lizzy, and her tenacity was one of her amazing qualities. But right now it just felt so…overwhelming. You blinked back the tears that had threatened to well up and shook your head, “sweetheart-”
“Lizzy,” you put your hand on her arm and gave it a squeeze, “Joel doesn’t like me like that. I’m just a kid to him and that’s all I’ll ever be, and that’s okay. I’ll get over it…one day.”
“You’re so blind!” she was laughing, and despite the sound being so lovely and soft, your heart constricted in your chest. Before she could open her mouth to say anything else, you heard a loud throat clear from behind you. The two of you sat up in surprise, turning your attention towards the door to the roof. 
Fuck. Of course. Of course Joel Miller had to choose the perfect time to make an appearance. Lizzy had a huge grin on her face as she jumped up from the blanket you’d been lying on you. You looked at her in desperation as she practically skipped over to Joel and past him, smiling sweetly at the older man. 
In your anxious state you held up your hand in a meek little wave. Joel chuckled softly before making his way over to you. Without waiting for an invite, he sat down next to you, his thigh pressed against yours. 
“You heard all of that, didn’t you?” your entire body was warm and you almost wished that something would have popped up to create a distraction. Not like fully on clicker distraction, but something. You keep your gaze trained anywhere but him as embarrassment washed over you. 
“I did,” he admitted as you groaned internally. You could practically feel his pretty brown eyes focused on, but you weren’t ready to die of humiliation just yet. 
“Of course,” you nodded in annoyance, at yourself more than anything. You groaned before letting out a small huff. You finally managed to turn your face towards him and to your surprise, he didn’t look mad or angry, “I’m umm…sorry. I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?” it was a genuine question that caused you to shrug noncommittally, “the fact that I found out or for the feelings themself?”
“Both, I guess,” maybe the ground could open up and swallow you whole. That might be a nice change of pace, “m-mostly the fact that you found out.”
“So you’re not sorry for the feelings?”
“Can’t really help your feelings, can you?”
“No,” he agreed, shooting a curious little look, “I guess you can’t.”
“I hope this doesn’t make things awkward,” you whispered, “I try to stay away from you, but I swear you always seem to pop up out of nowhere. It always feels like the universe is laughing at me.”
“Almost like it wasn’t a coincidence at all…”
“I guess you’re….wait,” you turned your attention to him, allowing yourself to look at the man in question, “not a coincidence? What do you mean?”
“You’re a smart girl,” he praised and oh. If you didn’t enjoy being praised before, you sure did now, “you can put two and two together.”
“I….Joel-”
“Lizzy wasn’t as far off as you think she was,” he stated it so simply like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Your mouth dropped open as you stared at him, waiting for him to drop the just kidding bomb. He put his finger under your chin and gently closed your mouth, “is it really that hard to believe?”
“N-no,” you admitted softly, “I guess not. Just…are you sure? Me? Why…I don’t get it. Why me?”
“Don’t do that,” he insisted firmly, “the self doubt - there’s no reason for it.”
“I’m just…me.”
“Exactly,” he answered, leaving no room for any sort of back-talk, “you’re not just some kid or just a nobody. Not to me.”
“But I…I-”
He rested his hand on your neck, his thumb gently brushing along your soft skin, “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”
“Oh. Oh,” your eyes widened for a moment before you felt the soft press of his lips against yours. It wasn’t much of a kiss, more of a soft brushing of lips, both of you testing the waters. When he pulled back, you found him watching you with a soft expression on his face, “that was…you kissed me.”
“I did,” he echoed his words from earlier, “and I’d like to do it again if you’re okay with it.”
“Yes,” you smiled shyly at him, “I’d like that a lot.”
“Okay.”
“Okay,” and he was kissing you again, like the two of you had been doing this for a long time, like it was the most normal thing in the world. 
Maybe you weren’t just some dumb kid after all.
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eowynstwin · 1 month
Text
More (perhaps controversial) takes about the 141, this time asking what kind of artists they’d be (because I have a BFA and dammit I insist upon using it):
Soap’s tried a LOT of disciplines but always came back to painting. He’s an abstract expressionist and puts his whole body into his work; throwing paint across a monumental canvas, or moving pigment around with huge wedges he’s got to hold in both hands. His works are overwhelming, explosions of color and movement, so much happening in one place all at the same time that looking at them feels like looking at a bomb going off. (He’ll indulge in some figure drawing but mainly for fun with his hookups.) Think: Jackson Pollock.
Gaz is a portraitist with an uncanny ability to reveal his subjects’ personalities. He works almost exclusively in oils, in a style that blends academic painting with Impressionism, and spends days with his subjects, getting to know them on a level nearly as intimately as a lover, drawing them out of themselves into a state of honesty that’s both fragile and cathartic. Somehow he can translate the truth of a person onto canvas in a way that can be either comforting or brutal. Every piece of his manages to make the viewer wonder how he could know so many people so well. Think: John Singer Sargent.
Price is a stonemason and bronze sculptor. He works at a 1:1 scale and most often depicts figures in some sort of dramatic motion; dancing, flying, reaching into the distance, or with wind-tossed clothes or hair. The best way to describe his work is romantic, in the classical sense; he reveals moments of powerful emotion, uninhibited by propriety, such that his work feels like it could sweep you away. Price is an artist in love with something he hasn’t found yet. Think: Luo Li Rong.
Ghost works almost exclusively with metal. He learned to weld and never wanted to do anything else afterwords. His sculptures are constructed of raw, sometimes dangerous-looking pieces of steel, scraps he scavenges from construction sites himself and puts together with no plan other than to stop when it looks finished. His work is not always intimidating, though; sometimes, his favorite things to put together are weird-looking benches that he will deposit in unfriendly parks with nowhere to sit. He’s gotten fined more often than he remembers for it. Think: Julio Gonzáles.
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pinkerthings · 7 months
Text
the significance of mileven simply not understanding each other (pt 1):
(others have brought this up before but I think it’s a bit overlooked imo)
There are numerous times throughout Stranger Things where Mileven is shown to not be on the same wavelength, and the Duffers like to make it quite apparent to the general audience.
Starting with the obvious scenes:
“BLANK makes you crazy”
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El is literally staring at Mike like she has NO idea what he’s trying to say.
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Shes STILL confused even after he tells her it’s something old people tell each other:
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Like girl…. i KNOW you were watching them soap operas and old timey romances during that year in Hopper’s cabin. You really expect us to believe you have no clue what he’s trying to say?
This scene was written like this on purpose for two reasons: comedic effect and diving deeper into mileven.
Back to not ever being on the same wavelength:
I talked in this post here about Mike being okay with El standing up to bullies in the past when it came to Mike or Will, but Mike suddenly not understanding when it comes down to El defending herself against Angela, showcasing the idea that they are definitely not in agreeance over what happened at Rink-O-Mania.
The Duffers like to purposefully write Mileven out of step with one another.
It seems as though every season has something negative in store for the couple, and not in a fun, slow-burn agonizing romance type of way, but in the frustrating “why can’t they just work it out” kind of way.
Season 1 obviously has El “dying” and leaving Mike for a year, but on a smaller note also has Mike trying to explain to her that if she moved into his house, Nancy would be like her sister, but he would not be like her brother. She does not understand this, and has her classic confused face on.
Season 2 has her being gone and coming back to see Mike with Max, and even though nothing happened between the two of them, El was still cold to Max when they first met, showing even if El is incapable of knowing what the word “love” is, she still somehow knows what jealousy is.
Season 2 also brings us an interesting scene with Erica and Lucas, where the dialogue just seems….really off and random.
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Lucas catches Erica playing with his He-Man action figure and gets mad, taking it from her. To which she says, “Hey! They’re in love!”
Lucas responds with:
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The scene is extremely random and the dialogue is just weird to me, the only explanation it being a metaphor for something in the show, and the only viable explanation is Mileven.
Season 3 has the entire “boyfriends lie” side plot, resulting in El dumping Mike for lying to him about his grandmother after Hopper’s talk with him. Their relationship the entirety of season 3 is the epitome of immature pettiness caused by jealous and hormonal teenagers who don’t understand what being in a real relationship entails--
We get El and Max spying on the boys:
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Eleven is a mystery to Mike, he pretty much says it himself.
Their whole relationship is based on immaturity, and the audience knows that. The audience can see that the two of are clearly immature and don’t have what it takes to be in a real, committed relationship. That’s the point. Their relationship in season three is almost entirely to move the plot around in whatever way the Duffer’s want, and to showcase the idea that their relationship in screen is nearly always shown in either a comedic, pre-teen immature light, or a jealous, misunderstood, and petty light. There is almost no stable relationship between the two of them in season 3. It’s either too clingy or too toxic or full of lies or immature, blah blah blah. The only scenes of them either not making out or fighting is the last scene of them together right before the Byers move, and that’s a whole scene in itself to unpack!
Season 4 is where things get a little chaotic, as if things weren’t chaotic enough.
There are so many miscommunications and misunderstandings with Mileven this season, but the big ones include:
El feeling like Mike thinks of her as a monster-
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and Mike looking at her like she just spoke badly about his favorite Star Wars movie-
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Directly after that we have Mike saying El is being "ridiculous" because she's upset that he won't tell her he loves her, and him calling her a superhero, the complete opposite of what she wants to hear in that moment, but Mike doesn't understand that, because who wouldn't want to be called a superhero? (his way of thinking)
Later on we get Mike recounting this to Will, saying, "and if I would have said that thing..." etc.
Mike can't even say that he loves El to other people, and we're expected to believe it's still true?
We also get this:
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another misunderstanding on Mileven's part. El thinks Mike doesn't love her (at this point, does he?) so she finishes her letter the same way he has: From, El.
Next we have Will and Mike's conversation on top of the car:
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"I think it's just scary to open up like that, to say how you really feel, especially to people you care about the most, because...what if they don't like the truth?"
I've said it before and I'll say it again,
why would El NOT like the truth if the truth is that Mike loves her?
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Mike nods at Will's words and looks away, seemingly lost in thought. Why would he agree with Will---that it's hard for him to open up to El because she might not like the truth---if the truth is exactly what she wants to hear?
It literally makes no sense.
We also get the Byler van scene, where Mike compares her to a superhero yet again, something she clearly does not like (I don't have a vid but here's the official script, where he says the same thing):
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Also El being Superman and him being Lois Lane in the analogy....okay.
Next we have him calling her a superhero YET AGAIN ! during his monologue:
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Like girl if I was El I would just give up at this point. This is the last thing she wants to hear. She doesn't want to be a superhero all the time, she just wants to be a person ! a girlfriend ! a friend ! a daughter ! yet Mike is making it seem like the main reason he loves her is because she's a superhero, which she hates.
And lastly we have:
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"Did she...talk to you at all?"
"Not much, I mean...a little bit."
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Let me get this straight......you finally confess your love to your longtime girlfriend in the midst of her fighting a literal monster & monster from her past while she is being strangled and held captive all while she's also trying to save her friend from death, and she doesn't say anything to you for TWO days after?
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Ladies...the Mileven break up is writing itself, really.
And that is a thread on how the Duffers intentionally write Mileven to be on different wavelengths with each other every single season without fail to showcase how incompatible they really are.
They are setting this relationship up to where you want more for both parties; El deserves to be loved the way she wants to be loved, and Mike deserves to be loved the way he needs to be loved (if u know what i mean)
In part 2 I will discuss the importance of byler understanding each other, juxtaposed to mileven hehe bye !
part 2 analyzing Mike & Will here !
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allwaswell16 · 2 months
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A One Direction fic rec of fics in which one of the main pairing is their brother's/sister's best friend as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!
- Louis / Harry -
💋 Bloodline by banana_louis
(E, 177k, fluff) Louis doesn't know how to feel when his best friend, Liam, finds out about a brother that he never knew, who was placed for adoption before he was born and is bursting into his life at twenty-four years old.
💋 Want You More Than A by TheCellarDoor / @donotdialnine
(M, 77k, high school) Falling in love with your step-brother’s best friend is a disaster enough. When he happens to be the boy everyone loves and you’re a nerd who wears sweater vests and cries during rom-coms, it takes it to a whole new level.
💋 late nights and good intentions by princelouisau
(E, 71k, historical) a Victorian era au where Louis pines for his overprotective older brother’s very charming best friend.
💋 teenage dreams in a teenage circus by orphan_account
(E, 50k, high school) The last few months of sixth form bring about a lot of changes, however. Gemma refuses to let anything stop her from getting into her top-pick uni, Perrie second-guesses what makes her special, and Louis breaks the most common of friend codes: he falls for his best mate's little brother.
💋 We Got The World Shaking by FutureMrsHaroldStyles
(M, 39k, omegaverse) the one where Harry goes into heat at his best friend Lottie's birthday party and her big brother helps him out.
💋 Lies & Liability by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou
(M, 34k, historical) Harry Styles has only three wishes when he leaves River Dane Manor to go to Town for his first season
💋 Baby, What a Big Surprise by kiwikero / @icanhazzalou
(E, 33k, high school) the one where shy, quiet Harry has no idea he's a carrier, and a one night stand with the most popular boy in school shows him just how wrong he was.
💋 With the Rising Sun by Tomlinsontoes / @pianolouis
(M, 33k, NYC) Somehow he got roped into his sister's brilliant idea of getting her college best friend to help him branch out and meet people.
💋 It's Been So Long by elsi_bee / @elsi-bee
(T, 31k, friends to lovers) Harry Styles' first crush was one of his sister's best friends, a certain someone named Louis Tomlinson. And Louis? He just vaguely remembers Gemma's younger brother from back in the day. A lot can change in ten years.
💋 Pillow Talk by @fallinglikethis
(E, 25k, sexuality crisis) When Harry starts having confusing feelings for a male classmate, his sister's best friend, Louis, helps him figure himself out. Cue lots of kissing, sex, and falling in love.
💋 and i don't care it's obvious by @alwaysxlarrie
(T, 20k, uni) However, his issue was that no one had ever created a guide that one could follow in regards to what to do or how to feel when your crush was your sister's best friend.
💋 i don't wanna be your friend, i wanna kiss your neck by pinkgelpen
(E, 19k, omegaverse) Harry is a hopelessly romantic omega and Louis is his sister's best friend
💋 I'll Be Your Light by mightaswellll
(M, 17k, roommates) Harry Styles always had a crush on his sister's best friend Louis Tomlinson. Moving in with them should be a good way to get over it, right?
💋 Won’t Let You Down by noellehenry / @noellehenry-original
(M, 15k, small town) Suddenly he’s the owner of a farm and B&B, gets involved in illegal trading of unlabeled bottles and has to deal with his everlasting crush on his sister Gemma’s best friend, who has returned to Woodville…
💋 What do you mean he's coming? by MediaWhore / @mediawhorefics
(G, 15k, famous/not famous) Now, not only does he have less than two weeks left to find something moving and inspirational to say, but Gemma just confided in him that her old childhood best friend is going to be in attendance.
💋 show you the stars in the daylight by bruisedhoney
(E, 13k, size kink) the one where Louis has a type and at sixteen and scrawy, it's definitely not his best friend's little brother Harry...ten years later, he changes his mind.
💋 Dirty Little Secret by therogueskimo / @bravetemptation
(M, 10k, secret relationship) the one where Harry and Louis fall in love, but can’t figure out how to tell Gemma. That is, until Harry gets pregnant, and they don’t have much of a choice.
💋 Here We Come A-Wassailing by @lululawrence
(NR, 8k, Christmas) It was cold, they would be outside in said cold, and he only wanted to stay warm and comfortable in the house. At least his best friend Gemma and her family are part of the caroling crew.
💋 Giving Me Excitations by @juliusschmidt
(M, 6k, vacation) Gemma's BFF Louis joins the family on a beach weekend. Harry likes him so much.
💋 harder to hide than i thought by dangerbears
(NR, 6k, high school) louis's best friend's little brother suddenly got very attractive.
💋 now i'm tracin' all my steps to you by @alwaysxlarrie
(T, 5k, omegaverse) Of all the things Harry was prepared for this summer, Louis Tomlinson and his wonderful, wonderful scent isn't one of them. It probably shouldn't be as shocking as it is that it makes Harry want to nest. 
💋 Tell Me That You've Got Me by @lululawrence
(NR, 2k, neighbors)  the one where Harry was always Louis' best friend's younger brother...until they grow up and once innocent forms of affection come to mean a little bit more.
💋 All This Time by @allwaswell16
(T, 1k, omegaverse) Louis Tomlinson had been best friends with flower shop owner Gemma Styles for years. It wasn't until she suggested he date her alpha brother that he ever thought of Harry that way.
- Rare Pairs -
💋 That Dimpled Smile by Phillipa19
(E, 47k, Zayn/Harry & Marcel/Louis) When Harry's best mate Louis shows an interest in his nerdy little brother, Harry isn't prepared to let him near. But it's hard for Harry to keep track of those two when he has enough trouble trying to figure out what the hell is going on with him and Zayn and their secretive relationship.
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ronearoundblindly · 2 months
Text
Yield
Steve Rogers x Avenger!Reader
a vague sequel to Warning Signs (not required to read before this)
Summary: Steve takes your mind off a recent tragedy for the team.
Fluff, hurt/comfort with emphasis on the comfort, references to death and trauma but not explicit, SEVERAL sweet kisses 😍. Adjusted (from its languishing, dusty doc) for @bigtreefest's Summer Lovin' Celebration using the elements: hand kink--although this work is for all-ages--and "ew gross, that's not what I thought would happen today"--except I fudged that a bit. You're welcome even though, yet again, no one asked for this! WC ~2.3k
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It’s a dreamless sleep, the kind that feels like you blinked but hours passed. Awareness comes long before awakeness.
Your head aches. You feel as shriveled and puckered as you were laying in the bath tub, soaked but thirsty, letting water steadily drip between your paralyzed, parted lips for so long yesterday. Your eyelids are sandpaper, but they’ve not opened yet.
Minutes tick by—perhaps another hour—and you attempt to remember what’s happening or happened.
Two people died. Gone. Brought back in the belly of the same plane you arrived home in, they are now lost, lost somewhere dark like this, lost like you are for so long as you can stand to keep your sore eyes closed.
Well…you are home but not home all at once.
You’re in a bed, that’s clear, but the pillow isn’t your own. The scent is off. Heavy. Musky. Not unpleasant. Somehow still familiar.
You tick through snapshots of sullen faces trying to remember.
Over you lies a soft, thick blanket. Again not yours. Again pleasing. It has heft. It comforts without constraint.
The hardest sensation to figure out is your hands.
They are…sticky and weighted. You’ve sweat and clammed up upon yourself. Your hands are not clasped in each other. Why the feeling then?
It’s cold—or cool, rather—but not beneath the blanket. The contrast to the battlefield’s heat yesterday is stark though no less repressive. The external pressures of fighting have turned inward, pushing your emotions to the brink. Your won the fight, and after, you lost the war with yourself.
You remember losing that war alone, so what are you holding?
Finally, you look.
There’s someone else in this foreign bed, one of the faces from the sorrowful slideshow behind your eyes.
Steve Rogers sleeps beside you, recognizable only by his size and his crown of golden hair because his head is bent, his hands encasing yours. He’s pressed himself to the bundle of fists between you.
The numbness has yet to lift. That’s why it all reeks of distance and projected celluloid. Yesterday happened but only in that far away world playing on the back of your skull. All you can process as real is that he’s right there and you are right here, simultaneously.
You try harder.
You try to flood color and sound onto the memories until they come closer.
The mission, the deaths, the flailing sense of loss, the unending bewilderment of “what do I do now?”: they become…undeniably tangible. They happened, and they happened to you. You heard the captain promise to stay with you. You heard him…
He called you ‘sweetheart.’
That’s the first thought that stirs something soft among the sharp recollections. That’s when existence returns.
Rogers came to your room. He wouldn’t leave until you were safe. He took care of you, and he called you ‘sweetheart.’ In your months of working with the Avengers, the captain has never once casually assigned an endearment. He says ‘ma’am’ more often than not and barely has nicknames for the teammates he’s worked with for a decade. 
Everyone is Agent, Sir, or Miss. Your last name has always been enough.
You were none of those things last night. You survived a horrid battle, a crippling loss, and a solitude which almost drowned you; it’s silly to admit how he heals your wounds with one simple word.
Sweetheart. A warm cocoa hug to your chest. A gentle embrace. A guidance back toward the light.
Maybe he’ll never say it again. Maybe he meant nothing by it. He only tried to help you. He only wanted you to feel better. Since no one else was around, it’s an easy assumption that Steve simply—
Rogers.
He’s Captain Rogers to you. A coworker. A teammate. That’s all.
It’s difficult to even call him a friend because the man is so professional, so shy.
That shy professional probably saw you naked last night. Whoops.
You shimmy deeper under your covers, tilting your gaze down to the shirt and shorts Rogers dressed you in—his shirt and shorts—but those movements stir the man with your hands.
In a split second, you clamp your eyes shut again and wait in the dark, fighting not to twitch at the dry-sand prickle.
He shifts with a quiet scratching of the sheets, and he sighs, the hot air grazing your knuckles.
One traitorous eye gives a curious peek.
Rogers’s head cranes back to show his sleepy smirk.
“Morning,” he rasps, blinking slowly. He ducks away again to yawn, his face stretching to life, before softly continuing. “How you feeling? Can I getcha anything?”
You tuck your lip under and say nothing. Words have left you.
After allowing the pause, Rogers lets go of your hands, cold flooding your damp skin.
“I’ll get us some water then.”
He doesn’t rumple your blanket. He doesn’t hold eye contact. He just dutifully rolls out of his bed and gets two glasses.
The paralysis is making you quake slightly. What do you say? Will he take you out of the field for this? If not already, will he bench you from how you act next? How will you act next?
He leans a knee onto the still-warm spot he abandoned and tsks.
“Come on. Couple of sips and I’ll leave you alone. Sleep all day if you want, but first—“ He inches the offered water closer.
You rake your eyes up his arm until meeting baby blues.
“Do you mean—“
Rogers’s phone rings. “Shoot, sorry. One second.” He plunks both cups down on his bedside table and answers quickly. “Yeah, Sam, I—no, no run today, I think… Seen her? Um, yeah, she’s…she was—“ glancing back at you over his shoulder, he pulls his hand over his mouth in thought “—I’ll look in…okay, sure thing. Talk later.”
You’re offered another smile and chance at water. “Where were we?”
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“So this is where you go to be—“
The failed observation echos in the garage while Captain Rogers kneels by his bike (one of half a dozen). You can’t say ‘alone’ since you’re here, too, so you awkwardly kick your feet over the edge of the steel table he told you to sit on.
Captain America is important enough to be assigned one of the coveted, private garages along one side of the jet hangar, and he assured you, no one bothers him as soon as he closes that door. Where else was he supposed to take you? It’s hot outside, just like yesterday, your room is still trashed, and his room is not exactly neutral territory.
Rogers simply smiles, ticking his head to one side. “Hand me that socket wrench?”
Quick as a rabbit, you hop down, and suddenly, as his fingers drag the cool metal handle from yours, you get it. You forgot all about everything for a split second.
“Thanks, sweetheart,” he whispers, smile still gentle, eyes still brilliant blue.
Your insides swoop more than the mid-air jump from your perch. You tuck your lip in your teeth to stifle the glow threatening to shine out. It feels wrong. You can’t be happy today. You shouldn’t. It’s not right.
Right?
Twice. Twice now he’s slipped. Maybe. Yesterday is mostly a blur. It’s hard to imagine he means to say that. It’s not like the captain to be kind. Well, of course Steve is kind, but in a professional way, a distant way. Instead, this is a tender sort of kind, tenderness like holding onto your hands while you sleep.
He’s watching your every reaction, probably to make sure you don’t fall apart again, probably to make sure you don’t shut down entirely, but you’ve a new focus: him.
“Help me?” Rogers asks, tongue swiping out, nervous. “If you want,” he adds with a shrug.
You shrug, too, but sit on the floor next to him.
He exudes unending patience, explaining the basics of what he’s working on, mentioning nothing when you clearly zone out. You lose whole minutes to either staring at him or staring at nothing. More flashes of yesterday overtake your vision from time to time, even though your eyes are open.
“Should have taken you to the infirmary,” he mutters as you shake off your latest blip.
You drop the tool dangling in your limp hand, and despite knowing there’s an object falling to the concrete floor, you jump violently at the clattering it makes.
You grip at your temples, shielding your face. “Perhaps you should have.”
A warm, steady hand lands on your knee.
“I can finish up here and take you.” He hurries to do something on the bike, and you’re sure he’s about to send you for a psych eval.
That’s the last thing you want. You have to convince him you are fine, better than fine, strong.
You grab for his wrist to get his attention back, but the move makes him twist a cap too hard and thick brown oil comes steaming out all over both of you. It drips from your forearms down and splashes from the drip pan up, the flow quickly tapering off with a thick glug from the pipe.
“Ew, GROSS,” you blurt without thinking. You resist the urge to shake it off. No need to cover more of the room in your shame. “Sorry, Cap. I—That was—“
“No, no.” He’s just laughing, thank goodness. “My fault. Was gonna change that anyway…in a couple months. You alright?” He waits for a nod. “Let’s get this mess off at the sink, yeah?”
Rogers carefully points to the corner. You maneuver onto your feet and alternate raising and lowering your arms, thick rivulets threatening to paint the floor if you let the oil run too far in one direction.
“Wipe what you can off with the towels first.”
You sort of knock the roll over and nudge it across the counter. A strategic elbow turns up the tap and depresses the soap dispenser.
“‘Steve’ is fine,” he says as he massages lather over your palms, “by the way.”
You’re damn right Steve is fine.
Your breath catches while he continues to work the oil off your skin, avoiding eye contact.
After a minute or so, rubbing around and down your fingers, specifically scrubbing along your nails, he clears his throat.
“I’m glad it wasn’t you—“ Steve concentrates on circling each knuckle “—horrible as that sounds.”
You take control of the hand helping you, applying pressure as you feel a small tremor rattle the fine bones, unable to see the clear truth of his words beneath righteously long lashes.
He lets you wash him for a while, rubbing between his fingers, scrubbing along his nails, lathering over his palms.
His voice is so quiet, a low breeze from the distant, retractable ceiling letting in the world.
“Not supposed to say that,” he rumbles, inches away at most, “diminishing as it is to the dead.” Steve halts you and slides his hands up your forearms. “But that’s the point, yeah?” He looks up finally. “Focus on the living…”
You’re frozen, hanging on every word you’re convinced he can’t be saying.
“Is that a quest—“
Steve’s long lashes descend to narrow his path, supple lips grazing yours for the briefest moment before a curt “no.” He moves in for a proper kiss then, head tilting to take full advantage of your shock. A new shock. A different kind of shock from the one you’ve barely recovered from since…
Twenty-four hours. Horror. Sweetheart. Limbo. Sweetheart. Bliss.
He’s right. The heat of him signals life and passion, desperation and spirit for the best kind of danger: a leap of faith from the heart.
A sweet heart.
It’s at this shocking and romantic turn that you realize, you’d follow him anywhere, just as he’s followed you onto a doomed battlefield, into your chaotic mind, into a cold and lonely shower. You had nothing but doubt; he offered nothing but hope.
Your weight leans into the clutch of devoted sinew and reverent tendons. Steve takes that as a welcome encouragement.
One day it might be him or it might be you, and as difficult and painful as that would be, it helps to focus on who is still here. Both of you. Together. Now.
He’s lavish and indulgent, intense because his wet hands can’t pull you closer. His tenderness and decency saturate every atom of connection between you. Each generous touch conveys something undying and pure.
Your hold on each other slips in the running tap when Steve get a little greedy, his body pinning yours to the rim of the sink.
Immediately, he apologizes, retracting into a shell of chivalry and sympathy.
You swallow to compose yourself, minimal effect achieved.
After a fair few thundering heartbeats pulse past you ears, you manage, “that’s not what I thought would happen today.”
The baby blue irises are the picture of horror. “Bad? No?”
Steve steps back only once before you follow.
“Why me?” you counter softly.
He huffs in his infinite patience with you and rolls his eyes in disappointment with himself. Steve hangs his head, propping his arm on either edge of counter nearest him. A dark, bitter chuckle escapes before he finally confesses.
“Because every other day I feel very little, but with you, I want so much more.”
Is this how you looked to him yesterday? A raw wound begging for help in blinding light? Did he have this fear that he couldn’t offer enough?
It is enough though. It has to be enough to try for what you want, to live even in kindness and duty. He’s taken a step, and so can you.
You smile, close the remaining distance, and whisper one word into Steve’s waiting mouth.
Promise—
Question or statement, it doesn’t matter, or perhaps, you’ll figure it out on any other day. Today it simply means you're both alive.
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[Main Masterlist; Light Masterlist; Ko-Fi]
A/N: Hope this turned out okay and that you enjoyed the fluff! If not, don't worry. I've got a smutty lifeguard!Steve one-shot in the works, too!! Tags will be in a reblog since they've been so wonky lately.
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Text
ME AND THE DEVIL
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Pairing.| Tommy Shelby x fem!reader
Summary.| Years ago, you sold your soul to the Peaky Blinder Devil. However, your loyalties never truly lied with Thomas Shelby. Though, the Devil had his ears in every wall, and seemed he had to readdress your contract.
Warnings.| Dubcon, fighting, dark themes, manipulation, attempted murder.
Word count.| 2.3k
Notes.| A small series I’ve been wanting to write for Tommy. But idk how I feel about it so I'll only continue it if people (you) want it. Between season 2 and 3 Tommy. Also inspired by the song clearly.
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The Devil had been haunting you, his claws were buried into your back. His presence had been bedeviling you for years by this point. But he was crawling on his vicious paws in your direction now, he was ready to bring you home. You knew he was inevitable, for he always got what he wanted and there was nothing that he craved more than you. He demanded your soul to return to his depths of Hell which was known as the dirt streets of Small Heath. 
It had been months since you had escaped him. No matter how badly you wanted to sail away, disappear into the mountains of America, he had all ports guarded with his men in peaked caps. It was only a matter of time until he found you again, there was no corner of this world that he wouldn’t walk for you. 
Firstly, he appeared in your dreams, or as you deemed as nightmares. The first time he stood still in the distance, half hidden behind a tree as he watched you as if you were meat on a golden platter. The next, he was striding towards you, you were running as quickly as you could but he was somehow catching up on you faster than humanly possible. His figure enlarged every step he took, you were screaming, crying for help but all bystanders had their backs turned towards you. 
In what would be considered the night terrors of his tormenting dreams, he was dragging you back across the gravel floor, his nails dug into the cold shivering skin of your calves. There was nothing for you to grip onto, everytime you looked back, his glowing blue eyes burnt into your soul. The nightmares would always end with you disappearing into the dark depths of a frightening forest. 
The next sign that he so graciously sent your way was a blank letter, with only his initials signed on the thin paper. You threw it into the fire pit immediately, out of sight, out of mind. As if you had enough ignorance for that. But another letter came the next day, then the day after, and again. After a week of taunting, the letter had a message for you. 
You can run, but you can’t hide.
Be ready for my arrival my love, 
I wish to bring you home. 
T.S.
You’d heavily considered running again, but you knew he would be on your tail. It was clear that you only got as far as you did because he allowed it. He was your shadow, he’d be able to move you like a puppet on strings if he really desired it. Logically, you should be grateful for the freedom he had gracefully given you. But then you remember everything he’d done to you, the suffering you’d gone through because of him, what you’ve lost from his obsession over you. You’d never be free as long as he still breathed. 
Your only slim chance of relief was to kill him. Like you’d make it far after that anyways, his demons would come charging after you. But you’d still be free, at least in this life no matter how short it would be. There was no escaping your doom, it’d end in tragedy one way or another. But the idea of watching the life drain from his hypnotic blue eyes made you smile. 
The next day, you saw him in the town, his eyes unviewable by the way his cap was positioned. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, no more is needed to be said. 
He followed you throughout the day, to torment you. Sometimes he was only a few steps behind you, teasing you on whether or not he’d take you in front of innocent bystanders. You wondered if people would intervene, or if they knew the Peaky Devil was unstoppable. 
That night, you’d awoken at 3am, there was a slow, heavy knock on your door. Time slowed down, you felt your heartbeat pound in your chest, ears turned thick and mind went dizzy. Momentarily, you laid silently in the darkness, then the knock vibrated on the wood again. Courageously, you got out of bed and stepped towards the door, not forgetting to grab the pistol on the way out. 
His presence was loud, you could feel his aura linger in through the cracks. You bent your arm back behind your back, the heavy metal pressed against the thin fabric of your dress. The light flicked on as the door creaked open, you swiftly leant against the frame to hide your weapon.  
There he stood, in all of his glory. Yet again, his eyes shadowed over from his peaked cap, a cigarette in between his lips as he stood perfectly still. His hands clasped behind his back underneath his leather gloves, the gentle rain seemed to pick up, small gusts of wind traveled into your cottage. 
“Hello Thomas” you greeted, voice completely monotone.
You avoided eye contact, he always seemed to know what was on your mind if you allowed him to look you in the eye. He looked down upon your appearance, you’d managed to have lost a fair bit of weight in these couple of months apart. With a heavy huff, Tommy pushed his sleeve up enough to show his watch, he read the time.  
“My love, I believe it’s time to go” his cold, dark voice rasped out. 
When he looked back up to you, his eyes finally came into clear sight. Oh, how they could still do wonders on you, it was the softest part of him. He would always be disgustingly beautiful, it’d give you butterflies in your stomach, put your beliefs into a thunderstorm. You blinked hard and snorted at his demand.
“I’m not going anywhere” you stubbornly shot back. 
Stupid, stupid, stupid. But Tommy expected nothing less than that. His stern expression finally cracked, Tommy’s lips curled into a wicked grin as he brought his hands to his front, his fingers folded over one another precisely. 
“Is that so darling?” Tommy challenged as he took a step closer to you, his head tilted forward. 
The grin on your lips was far too cocky as you pointed the pistol at him. Tommy felt a fire of excitement pump through his blood as you closed the distance and roughly pressed the cold barrel to his forehead. 
“You’ll leave me alone Tommy” you stated sternly. 
“You do not make the rules” Tommy smirked at your claim. 
“I’ll fucking kill you before you take me back there” you threatened, no, promised. 
“Do it then my love, free me of your torment” Tommy begged sarcastically, his tone dripping of mock. He held the barrel to his skull as he closed his eyes. You shuddered, fear washed over your skin as you seemed to second guess your actions. “Do it!” he roared, his command forced you to pull the trigger. 
Click. 
You blinked, your mind froze with your body as Tommy continued standing upright. He smirked sinisterly at you as he ripped the pistol from your weak hold and slammed it to the floor. You stumbled back, Tommy was quickly to stride after you as you fumbled into the kitchen.
“You were never one to fire a gun” Tommy snarled as he chased after you in the darkness, the moonlight wasn’t enough for you to swiftly move.
You panted out as he pounced at you, his arms wrapped around your waist, you thrashed around back he was quick to bend your arms behind your back. 
“Fuck you Tommy!” you barked. 
“Did you think I hadn’t paid your humble cottage a visit?” Tommy pouted to you as he pushed your front over the bench.
You gasped out as his crotch molded itself into your rear. He tutted at you as your body stilled, subconsciously your body demanded to create no friction against him, but physically your thighs squeezed together as Tommy kept your hips connected. Gradually, his erection grew against you as you both breathed heavily, Tommy rubbed the sides of your faces together as he looked out the window. 
“I missed you, my love” he whispered, his nose nuzzled against you like a cat. 
There was no response from you, you bit down your anger as you stared out, trying to shift your mind to another other thought. His arm snaked over your collarbones to pull your body up straight, you hissed in pain and struggled a little against him. 
“You’ll beg me for forgiveness” Tommy demanded, his tone awfully cool considering his conflicting emotions for you. 
“You’ll have to kill me before that” you snarled, latching onto every last drop of your dignity. Tommy gripped onto your jaw and forced you to snap your neck back to him.
“Do not be stubborn, my love. You betrayed me, you hurt me” Tommy spoke softly, a hint of despair in his tone. 
“Hurt you?” you scoffed as you shoved his hold off of you. “You broke me!” you screamed as you jabbed your fingers against his chest. 
Tommy’s demeanor was frustratingly calm. He sighed at you as if you were a child having a tantrum. It only fueled your anger, you tried to shove him again but he caught onto your wrists. 
“I’ve only ever done anything for your best intentions” he assured quietly. 
That was the last straw. Your wrist slipped out of his softening hold as your arm swung in a swift movement. Right when you should have landed onto him, he caught your fist and pushed you lower back into the counter, you grunted at the contact as his hand bent your wrist back. 
“Say that to Fraser!” you spat on his lower lip. 
Tommy’s hand slipped to your throat. The airway closed off to your lungs as his hold tightened, you wheezed out, legs dangled as his strength lifted you up against the counter. 
“Bring up that traitor's name again and see what happens!” Tommy threatened, his anger unleashed, blue eyes beamed straight through your body.
Your nails clawed at his hand, but Tommy seemed to be unphased by the pain. When your hands fell back to your sides, blood drained from your face, Tommy abruptly let go of your throat. You fell straight to your knees, landing harshly onto your kneecaps. With your head pressed against his thigh from support, Tommy sighed. 
“Now… Beg me for forgiveness” Tommy ordered as he tilted your head up to look for him. 
“I’d rather die” you panted, as you still struggled to catch your breath. 
Tommy chuckled at your determination. His cold hands slipped into your hair as he pulled your face an inch away from his throbbing crotch. 
“Beg me for it, unless you want to beg me for something else” he implied, a wicked grin on his lips. Your eyes darted at his bulge. 
“Don’t” you warned through heavy breaths. 
“Maybe I’ll just fill you with my child now… So I’ll never have to worry about you being able to run from me again, would be awfully hard with a massive belly, eh?” Tommy taunted as he pulled your face onto his hard on.
You squirmed against him, palms pressed against his thighs. Tommy breathed out in relief as he rocked his hips against you. With a quick pull, he forcefully craned your neck back and forced you to look up at him. A rough cry flew into the air as he tugged harshly at your roots. 
“Beg me, my love” he whispered kindly. 
You blinked away the pools of tears in your eyes. As your jaw wobbled, you forced yourself to let go of your dignity. For you knew his methods of torture wouldn’t be worth your ego at the end of the day. Because he’d never set you free. Tommy smiled down to you, mocking your pride in its surrender. 
“I’m sorry Tommy” you whimpered. Tommy hummed back with a nod, gesturing for you to go on. “Please forgive me, I never meant for any of this to happen” you pleaded, your voice trembling. 
It was true, it was never your plan for anyone to get hurt, some worse than others. But the forced apology tasted like tar on your tongue. Tommy’s dark eyes were wide as he slowly blinked to you, his toothy grin stayed as he rolled his thumb over your lower lip. 
It was always in moments like these that you felt lost without him. A throbbing idea that you really need to owe your life to him, he saved you after all. In the situations where it mattered most, your body betrayed you. Subconsciously you’d submit to him, and you hated him for it. 
His thumb slipped into your mouth, your tongue suckled his digit like a piece of candy. Then, his thumb rolled over your plump lips. It was clear that you needed icing on this cake to end this humiliating agony. For he was toying with you like you were a dirty whore. 
“I’ll never betray you again” you assured, sobbing as your cheeks turned beet red. 
“You'll listen to me from now on, eh?” Tommy teased as he patted your cheek. 
“Mhm” you hummed, frantically nodding your head. 
Tommy pulled you up to your feet, his hand held your jaw as he brushed his lips over yours. They only grazed over each other as his free hand dug into his pocket. He forced your left hand up, you winced as he roughly pushed the cold metal down your wedding finger. 
You impulsively turned your figure away from him as you tried to look at the ring in the moonlight. When Tommy flicked on the light, he stalked over to you. A massive white diamond was embedded on a silver band. Tommy’s arms snaked around your back, over your waist as he rested her head in the crook of your neck. Even though you really shouldn’t be, you stood completely shocked. A wife to be. 
“Let’s go home” he whispered as he guided you to the door. 
Even though he always told you that you were his, you finally realized that you were now.
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bri-cheeses · 2 months
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Our Little Secret - Part 2
| Rosekiller microfic | Word count: 787 | Part one is here |
-
“Can’t you just tell me plainly like any other normal person?”
Evan ignored that.
“Ravenclaw party. Fourth year.”
“What?” Barty asked, shocked back into bewilderment once more.
“That’s when I figured out I liked guys.”
Barty’s response was a beat late. “Uh… okay?”
“Do you want to know how?” Evan pressed. He took a step forward. He wasn’t sure whether he was gratified or angry that Barty took a step back.
“Yeah, sure,” Barty huffed. “Whatever gets you to finally spit it out.”
Evan closed his eyes. Barty’s barbed words were almost enough to stop him from saying it, but he had already made up his mind. And he doubted that their relationship could really be salvaged now that they had both managed to mess it up so terribly, so really, there was nothing holding him back anymore.
He opened his eyes slowly, calling to mind dim lights, bad music, and too many teenagers in one space. He took a deep breath.
“You were dancing with this girl,” he began slowly. “I don’t even know who it was, because I didn’t spare her a second glance. Not when you were there next to her, dancing and smiling like you were having the time of your life. And then you looked back over to me and somehow you smiled even wider, then gave me this stupid little wink and in that moment all I could think was how much I wanted to kiss you.”
Barty’s breath hitched. Evan ignored it.
“Olivia Gleaves, fourth year again. The first ever girlfriend you had, who I hated so fiercely that Cas had to corner me and tell me to knock it off, that you were my best friend, yes, but that didn’t mean I could feel entitled to being your number one person all the time. And so I shut up and stopped glaring and I was a good little “best friend” until you two broke up three weeks later.”
“Barret Fay, fifth year. The first guy you ever kissed. Coincidentally, I broke my hand that night, and a dent found its way into the wall. Lucky for me, I suppose, that we had a big Transfiguration paper due the next day and I could easily write it off as frustration with schoolwork.
“December 16th, fifth year. We got caught under the mistletoe, and instead of laughing it off and kissing me on the cheek like you had with every single one of our friends, you refused to even touch me and spent the dinner afterwards eating in complete silence, and I made sure to never walk through doorways with you again during the holiday season.
“Cooper Covenhelm, sixth year. The first actual boyfriend you ever had, and the first guy to threaten me to stay out of the way and to not talk to you unless I absolutely had to. So I took the back burner for the next two months and let Regulus fill in as your best friend, then tried not to let anything slip when you finally cornered me and asked why I had been avoiding you. I don’t remember what I said, but you broke up with Cooper a week later and I felt so relieved I could hardly breathe.
“There are a bunch of other things I could talk about. The runs I started going on just to get a break from you and clear my head. All the people who threw themselves at me but I rejected because I was too hung up on someone else. The way Regulus figured it out at the end of last year and actually looked sad on my behalf, because, I’m assuming, he knew how impossible it was, too. The fact that I lied about what I smelled in Amortentia, the way literally everyone else in our friend group has figured it out, that time that you accidentally stole one of my shirts and I didn’t say anything because I liked how you looked in it… the way you kissed me last night, then told me just now that it was a mistake and I should keep quiet about it.”
“So you’ll excuse me if I’m a little angry right now. But I’m sure that you’re right. It was a mistake, and I’ll keep quiet about it because that’s what I’m best at, isn’t it?”
Evan waited a beat for Barty to say something, then shook his head when nothing came. He should’ve known better than to expect anything, honestly.
“I’m going to breakfast,” was all Evan said. And he turned around and walked away, cursing Barty for never being able to see him as anything more than a friend, and hating himself for hoping that he ever would.
-
(Part three)
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