#somehow i got this one out in just two sessions over two days lol

[triruntu]

#524, a california condor for @knaveofmogadore. Had a lot of fun with this one.

Requests for birds are open, updates happen on Thursdays. [project tag] | [kofi] [commissions] Find me on: [twitter]

[hannieehaee]

Imagine workaholic gf!reader of equally workaholic bf!woozi where they both take a few days leave to enjoy each other and book a luxurious honeymoon suite hotel room thinking they will have a lot of sex with their days off but instead end up with cuddling and lazy make out sessions because their exhaustion just swooshes over them owo

18+ / mdi

content: workaholic!woozi x workaholic!reader, afab reader, heavy mentions of smut, making out, very suggestive, etc.

wc: 1262

a/n: i can really picture jihoon dating a fellow workaholic lol anyways thank u for requesting<3

masterlist

"fuck, finally," you sighed in relief, letting yourself fall backwards onto the cool bed in the luxury hotel room jihoon had reserved.

after endless weeks of equally endless work, you finally had a week off, which jihoon had strategically coordinated with his own time off.

the two of you were extremely hard workers – to a fault. when jihoon bad first met you, he worried that maybe his addiction to constant work would eventually drive you away, yet somehow it had continued to keep you right by his side. you preferred that he was a workaholic, you had once told him. there had apparently been a few prior relationships in which your heavy workload had led to irreparable issues. jihoon being equally as busy as you allowed you to work without feeling guilt of leaving your partner behind – jihoon felt the exact same way.

despite the unspoken agreement the two of you had in regards to the dynamic of your relationship, it sometimes still got to you when you'd realize how little time you were able to spend with your boyfriend – once more, jihoon felt the exact same way.

your individual lives were already difficult to navigate, but making time for each other was even more complicated. your exhaustion was a whole different issue. working as much as the two of you did, it was understandable that you'd spend the lulls in your schedule resting as much as you could rather than with each other. it was a sad truth, but still remained a truth.

it wasn't as if you spent no time together, though. you'd always either see each other in the mornings (either through call or in person – depending on whether jihoon was in the country at the time or not) or at night, always making sure to love on one another as a reminder of the thriving affection in your relationship. you'd also dedicate one night per week to have a stay-at-home date night. everything was perfectly tailored to your relationship, and the two of you were more than happy with it.

these past few weeks had been the issue. as jihoon had a comeback and you had an important project at work, it was virtually impossible for you to see each other as of late. it got to you in all the worst ways, making you moody, irritable, tired, and even sexually frustrated. not only were you physically exhausted of the constant work, but you had been deprived of your daily dosage of jihoon. you had not slept together in weeks, nor had you even had a meal with each other. cuddling? completely out of the question with the insanely packed schedule you'd been having.

it all went like this for the both of you for a few weeks, up until everything managed to reach a standstill. you had a few days off, and jihoon had the ability to move some things around to match your time off. without so much as one word from you, jihoon had decided it was the perfect time to whisk you away on a private getaway at some luxury hotel of your choice.

jihoon wasnt really one to go out much, unbeknownst to you, but jihoon had been feeling extremely pent up from the last moment he got to have you all to himself. the short glimpses of you he managed to catch throughout the busy weeks were the only thing that had kept him going. the singular thought of the next time he'd he'd get to have you was the only thing occupying his mind. renting out a room for the week was the most obvious of choices to jihoon. he would finally get to explore the sheets with you.

upon arriving to the hotel, jihoon chuckled at how pleased you seemed with the place, immediately letting yourself loose on the bed and sighing in contentment. putting down the suitcases, jihoon joined you soon after, still fully clothed as he laid next to you, staring up at the ceiling.

"are you as tired as i am?", you asked him.

he hummed in affirmation, "yeah. what do you wanna do first?"

the unspoken agreement to utilize the week on sex had filled up the room before you had even arrived, so it was obvious what he was referring to.

"i'll take a quick bath first, okay, baby?", you said as you began to get up, stretching your muscles in the process.

"sure, baby. i'll head down to the gym for a bit to unwind then. i'll see you in about an hour, then?"

with a sweet peck, you bid your boyfriend goodbye, giddy to get yourself relaxed and perfumed so your boyfriend could help you destress under the sheets.

~

the bath had been a huge success in terms of getting you relaxed. after an hour lying in the warmest, bubbliest, comfiest water imaginable to man, you felt like a brand new person. accompanied by a lavender-scented bath bomb, a glass of wine and your favorite netflix show playing in the background, you got out of that bath in the best mood you'd been in in weeks.

the one downside was how incredibly relaxed the bath had gotten you. you were so relaxed, you could've fallen victim to endless slumber in that bathtub. as much as you needed jihoon to fuck you to sleep, you weren't sure how well you'd be able to perform if you tried to return the favor.

luckily for you, that would not be an issue.

upon walking back into the room, now donning some comfortable pajamas, you were met with the sight of a fully-asleep jihoon, cocooned between the sheets as he snored softly. the sight had you swooning with affection for the boy. he was the softest, most relaxing thing you had ever seen.

you couldn't help yourself in making your way to him, somehow maneuvering yourself into his arms and under the sheets, feeling more relaxed than ever.

before you could even close your eyes, the boy shuffled behind you, mumbling against your ear as he cuddled further into you.

"baby?", he mumbled.

"sorry, baby. did i wake you?"

"hmm, no you're fine. i meant to stay awake for you, but the bed's just so damn comfy," he chuckled breathily, "i took a quick shower downstairs to prepare for, you know, but fuck, i'm just so tired," he whined.

you turned around in his arms, facing him, breaths almost intertwined due to the proximity.

"that's okay, hoonie. 'm so sleepy. maybe ... we could leave it for tomorrow? just sleep in and then we can have some fun tomorrow?" you suggested, pressing a soft peck to his lips.

his arms tightened around your waist, not allowing you to pull back all the way, "only if you kiss me some more," he murmured, eyes stuck to your lips.

"i can agree to that," you giggled, pressing a languid kiss to his lips as he stuck his tongue in your mouth, softly intertwining with your own in a wet kiss.

the rest of the evening was spent softly making out under the warm sheets, legs tangled up together and fully relaxed in each other's arms. sex was the last thing on your mind as you kissed each other every so often, mostly focused on holding onto one another and finding your slumber together. however, this exhaustion did not stop you from waking up the following day, claiming your highs from one another time after time throughout the day, ready to recharge at night and continue the pattern day after day.

[reiderwriter]

Smutty part two of the hand to hand combat fic plz

A/N: Your wish is my command! I think a lot of people were frustrated at where I left the first part off lol, so here's a special treat for everyone who lowkey hated me after that lmao. Enjoy! 18+ MINORS DNI Also it is a crime that there aren't more gifs of Spencer wet, I have used most of them ㅠㅠ

You can read the first part here!

Warnings: shower sex, fingering, suggestive washing idk, Intercrural sex (he fucks the gap between her thighs for a while), no contraception, PinV sex, slight cum play? I guess?

You can also find my masterlist here, and if you enjoy my 18+ works, I'm partaking in kinktober, and you can find out about all of my plans here :]

As you washed off the day's sweat, standing in the shower rooms of the FBI gym, you cursed the gods above for making you such a coward. 

If you'd been bolder during your sparring session with Spencer, you could've ended the day in a much more pleasurable way, or you'd at least have the memory of whatever you'd do to aid your fantasies. You thought back to your humbling defeats of earlier that day. You really thought you could get the upper hand on Reid in at least one of your rounds, but no. He’d got the jump on you all three times, leaving you squirming under his touch on the mat as he enjoyed his defeats. 

The second-round had been close, having the initial upper-hand being in the assailant role, but he’d used his extra height to throw you off balance, pinning you to the ground from behind, his hands trapping yours against your lower back. You’d blushed at the compromising position, your ass raised suggestively, his bodyweight pushed on top of yours, crotch to your centre, as you tried stay calm despite the very thin materials of both of your work out gears that separated you. 

Not that you were complaining about the extra contact, but you weren’t beneath using it as an excuse for your loss. In your final round, he’d let you think you hand the upper hand for a second, teasing you about enjoying the view from your place above him, straddling his waist as you pinned him down. By that point, you were beyond horny, reaching near orgasmic levers of desperation to feel him push up into you, and he’d let you enjoy the feeling of your core grinding into him for a few minutes. Just long enough that no one else would notice that your movements weren’t simply struggles to keep him pinned. Then, he’d gone and ruined it by thrusting his hips up quickly and using the momentum and your shock to buck you off to the side, returning you to your earlier pinned pose. Despite the losses, you couldn’t really find much else to complain about other than the fact that you hadn’t kissed him right then and there, having not thrown caution to the wind. 

With each pulse of water from the shower head, you tried to clear your head, but he'd consumed your thoughts. You didn't think you wanted him this badly, but apparently one touch was all it took for you to become aware of the desire you had for him. You let your own hands trail between your legs as you decided to deal with your bodies pent up frustrations.

The door to the bathroom opened, though, just when you were about to get going and you had to pull your hand away as you called out to your new friend. 

"Pen? That you? God I'm so fucking sweaty from that work out." You laughed a little as you greeted her, but the other person didn't make any other noises, stopping dead in their tracks. 

"Y/N?" Somehow your blood ran cold as your body heated up. 

"Spencer? What are you…?" You whipped your head around to get a look at him over the glass shower stall door, pulling your hands over your chest, reflexively. 

"Morgan said the men's showers were broken, and he was heading home to shower. But I can't sit for that long on the subway without getting rid of all this sweat. He said there'd be no one else in here since we stayed so late…. I can… I can leave if you need me to?" 

"No! No, it's okay, it's not like we're using the same shower or anything, and I don't want you to feel so… Uncomfortable." 

He thanked you, then slipped into a stall a three away from your own, as you tried your best not to watch the flex of his arms as he firmly gripped his towel around himself. 

Turning back to your own shower, you decided you needed to speed it up, actually get on with it so you could escape this awkward, tempting situation. You were almost sure this was some kind of divine punishment. You lathered up your hair and began to massage your head when the water suddenly ran so cold it burned. 

"Ah, shit," you whimpered out as you ran from the water as quickly as possible. 

"Um, Spencer?" 

"Y-Yeah," he responded, having heard your moans and immediately perked his head up. 

"Your shower stall, it's the second from the door right?" 

"Yeah, why?" 

"Shit, I should've mentioned something," you ran a hand through your hair as you turned off your shower. "That one doesn't work too well, when you use hot water in that one for some reason, it makes the rest of these showers run cold for the rest of the day." 

"Oh, I'm sorry Y/N, I didn't realise." 

"No, it's good, I guess it's just cold shower time for me now." You sighed in a huff of annoyance, and turned your shower back on. 

"Do you… Do you want to come and use this one? My water's still hot and the cold water really won't be good for relaxing your muscles after all that work." 

"With you?" Your eyes meet his over the walls of your shower stall and you try not to sound too eager. Maybe this could be your chance after being such an idiot earlier. 

"Yeah, I guess. I still need to, you know, wash up?" 

You nodded at him then, and began collecting your things, your towels in your hands covering your sensitive areas, but only just as you stepped into his space.

He pressed himself against one of the walls as you entered, doing his best to cover his cock with his hands, but failing pretty miserably. You shot a single look down there, hoping he didn't notice. He was hard, and God did you want to help him out. 

But unsure of how to broach the topic, you ignored it and put your things down, before turning in to face the shower. A little sign of contentment fell over you as you felt the heat against your skin again, body relaxing as you began washing off your hair once again. 

You felt him move until he was a shadow at your back, close enough that you could feel his breath on your skin. 

"Y/N, let me help you clean your back. I don't want you to flare up that arm injury, and you're not reaching that well." 

"What?" Ill advisedly, you turn to face him. His eyes trail over your body, landing on the swell of your chest as you stand only millimeters from touching. Gently dragging his eyes back up, he repeats his plea, and turns you around, grabbing your body wash.

"Trust me, I'll help." But you know this isn't going to do any good easing the tension in your body, his hands on you being as distracting as they were. You almost jusmo a little when his bare hands finally come down on your waist. 

"S-Spencer I have a loofah!" You almost moan out as he begins to rub circles into your skin with his fingers spread. He's closer now, and with his hands out of the way. You can feel his cock, bare against your ass, twitching as you realise he's getting a lot of pleasure out of this. 

"Do you know how much bacteria can live on one of those things? You wanted to get clean, right?" It's all you can do not to buck back into him as he releases the words, hands coming up to your shoulders as he works his strength into your skin. His hands feel so good against you, that you barely notice them slipping around your front, as he begins to work on the plains of your stomach as well.

You throw your head back against his chest in pleasure as he slips higher and higher, hands eventually cupping your breasts as he slowly lathers them up, taking his time to feel every single inch of your skin. You whimper in your pleasure, and you hear his heavy breathing similarly pick up. 

"Spencer…" You don't know what your words are asking, begging for, but it's clear he does, as his hands spread. One goes up to your neck, wrapping around you tightly as you gasp out a breath, the other washing hanging in the air as he rids it of soap before trailing down between your legs. 

His fingers find your clit and you whimper. 

"That's it baby, I'm just gonna help you get clean, okay? Gonna make you feel good, too." You nod at his words, giving him the silent confirmation he needs to press his cock in between your thighs and start rubbing it up against you, not yet pushing it in. You're pushing your ass back into him now as he starts to fuck the folds of your sweet cunt, writhing in pleasure everytime his tip catches on your hole, pleasure rolling off your tongue in waves. 

His hand on your neck keeps you from gaining volume, keeping you grounded as he gets you close to that euphoric bliss. You're desperate to actually feel him inside you though, squirming in the hopes that one of his thrusts will accidentally land on target. 

"Spencer, please…" You know what you want now, and you're desperate for him to listen, as you turn your head to the side, grabbing the back of his own as you pull him down for a sloppy kiss. His hips still as he falls into the kiss, tongue dragging over your lips and begging for entrance. His hand stays on your clit though, and within a few more rubs you feel yourself twitch in his arms, fully held up by his hand on your neck. 

"Spencer, please, need you…" 

"Are you sure, Y/N? This is still a public bathroom, and I don't want you to think you have to do anything just bec-" You cut him off with another kiss, and that's all he needs before he's pressing you back into the shower stall, wrapping your legs around his hips and pushing his cock inside of you. 

You pulled his lips down to yours again and again, desperate to taste him, shower abandoned behind you. His pace picked up and soon he was slamming into you, with the full force of his body, the weight that had earlier been used to pin you down now being used to pleasure you to the fullest. 

He pressed his forehead against yours, letting his eyes fall to the place where your two bodies met, his grunts filling the space as you tried your best to bite your tongue. You knew that if you let yourself be as loud as you could've been in that moment, someone would definitely notice. 

"Just like that, Spencer, fuck, just like that." Your hips bucked wildly against his as he pulled your other leg up and around him, holding you fully off the ground as he continued his movements. 

You gripped his back, letting your nails find any purchase they could, dragging scratches down his skin, marking him as yours. You didn't feel so bad about the pain you must've been dealing him though, not when his hands were leaving red handprints on your hips from his tight grip, the sharp discomfort only fuelling your passion. 

"Spence, I'm… Fuck I'm close." Your head slumped into his neck. 

"Cum for my, Y/N, need to feel you clench around my cock." He grunted, and somehow your body listened to his demands perfectly, spilling over the edge with his next thrust. 

He moaned out quickly, lowering your legs to the floor, still holding you up, as he pulled out and stroked his cock a few more times. His white release painted both of your stomachs with his climax, and you fell against each other in your bliss, trying to both gain back your normal heart rate and calm your breath. 

"Spencer, I think we need to get back in the shower," you smiled up at him, and dragged him back over to it as he flushed, not finding the words needed to apologise for his mess. 

You pulled him in for a kiss under the water and mentally thanked Morgan for putting you through hell that day. He pulled away from you to attempt to talk, but you didn't want to let him. 

"You know," he started, but you tried to shut him up again, wanting desperately to feel his lips right back on yours. 

"Y/N, please," he laughed pulling your head away from him as you whined out childishly. 

"You know, Morgan was lying about us needing to do this physical thing." Your eyes bulged at the confession, as you tried to stammer out a reply. 

"What? I… What?" 

"He pulled the same act a year or so ago, too. Y/N, Penelope is never in the field, she doesn't have to do physical training, and we both have enough case hours to cover any further requirements." 

"So he… ThatThat son of a bitch." You muttered angrily to yourself as he ran a hand through your still damp hair, smiling down on you peacefully. 

"Wait, Spencer… If you knew that he was making this whole thing up, why did you go along with it?" 

"Needed an excuse." He pulled you in for another kiss, this one slow and languid, as you felt him twitch to life again at your thigh. 

"An excuse for what?" You moaned out as his lips trailed down your neck, leaving behind a trail of love bites you were sure would bloom into purple bruises, just another decoration for your neck alongside his handprint. 

"An excuse to touch you. You're very good at following professional boundaries, you know?" You laughed at him once more and let him pull you close into him again. It took you an extra hour to shower that day, but it was worth every second. 

[houseofripley]

HEYY

Can you do a rhea x fem!reader story where rhea and reader are in Highschool and have both had feeling for eachother for the longest time and both haven’t confessed but all that changes because rhea ask reader to prom and they end up kissing and it leads to something else (ifykyk😏) (smut n a lil bit of fluff too🙏)

Starry Prom Night

Rhea Ripley x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS: 18+ SMUT, Kissing, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Scissoring, Praise, Cheek Cupping & Kissing Galore, INSANE PLOT BUILDING FOR NO REASON LOL SORRYYYYYY IM A YEARNER (im serious this is like 67% plot building)

WORD COUNT: 3,731

A/N: this is just pure sapphic yearning on my end LMAO anyways anon i had so much fun writing this even though its all over the place!!!

also can you tell where i got impatient with all the plot building lol

“Rhea, I seriously don’t know how many more of these cheesy signs I can’t take. I think I’m gonna go insane.” You grunted, rolling your eyes to the back of your head. 

Prom season was in full swing. It was third period and you had just witnessed what had to have been the seventh promposal of the day. This year would be the mark of your and your best friend, Rhea’s senior prom. Senior prom was a date thousands of dreamed about, wanting to show up and show out one last time before waving goodbye to their highschool years. 

Every girl except you and Rhea. You both despised the thought of prom. Why would any sane person spend hundreds of dollars on an outfit just to spend their night drenched in sweat in the school gymnasium? 

Fuck that!

“Romeo O Romeo! Will thou spend your Saturday night with I, drinking punch next to the locker rooms?” Rhea mocked, elbowing your arm. 

You shook your head, pressing your lips together trying to keep your laughter silent. The commotion of classmates was soon drowned out by thoughts as your eyes met Rhea’s, causing your tightened lips to curl into a small smile.

Rhea’s blue eyes never failed to warm you. Everytime you gazed into those beachy eyes you were brought back to the day you first met the girl. Seventh grade, first period, language arts. A quiet blonde girl sporting a Pierce The Veil shirt was assigned to sit next to you. Nobody knew anything about the girl besides the fact she had just moved basically across the globe. You spent the entire period thinking of what you could possibly say to her, because what do you even say to a kid that was just relocated from South Australia all the way to some shitty suburban town? 

“Cool shirt.” 

And it fucking worked somehow. You were immediately attached to her hip. The two of you grew closer with each day that passed. You were inseparable. She was everything to you. Sleepovers every weekend. ‘Study’ sessions that were spent play fighting with each other. Singing pop-punk songs at the top of your lungs till your throats were raw. Dying your hair the same shade of blue at three in the morning. She was even at your side while your parents scolded you the morning after for said blue hair. 

Jesus Christ. Lost in her eyes again? Snap out of it already! 

“Yo, Alice in Wonderland, you okay?” Rhea playfully questioned, breaking your trance by poking at your thigh.

“Just…thinking. That’s all.” You softly chuckled. You were telling the truth, you were just thinking. Just thinking about her. Thinking about her touch, her hands, her pierced nose, her lips, her stupid cool shirts. 

═════���⋆☆⋆══════

“Jesus, someone’s eager to get out of here.” You laughed, trailing behind Rhea who was booking it over to her small black Lexus.

“Dude, can you blame me? It’s like everyone has some sort of prom fever. I am not letting it catch me.” Rhea complained, ducking into the vehicle. 

You made your way to the passenger side of the car before hopping into the seat next to Rhea. “I counted eighteen of those damn signs today.” You babbled, resting your arm on the center console before trailing on, diffusing the topic, “Anyways, let’s go thrifting or something. I don’t wanna go home.”

Rhea shrugged in agreeance before pulling out of her parking spot. She knew things were tough for you at home. You had recently come out as lesbian to your parents. They weren't unsupportive but they weren't exactly supportive at the same time which had built quite a bit of tension in the household. You came out to Rhea just about two years ago, who was more than supportive. She was your number one defender, always there to threaten whichever classmate that dared to ridicule you.

You knew absolutely nothing about Rhea’s sexuality. Hell, even Rhea knew nothing about her sexuality. She only knew one thing, that she liked you. She didn’t even know when she caught feelings for you, it was like the sentiments were there since the moment you first spoke to her. She hoped as time went on the flutters she’d feel for you would pass on but recently she couldn’t seem to even push the mere thought of you out of her head, it was killing her.

The drive to the nearest thrift shop was comfortably silent…silent if you ignored the Black Veil Brides cd Rhea had blaring…

Entering the store the pair of you let out scoffed laughs as the first thing catching your attention was a large display of second hand dresses. Shaking it out of your heads and ignoring it at first you carried on to wander the isles, grabbing whatever caught your eye to try on later although you’d inevitably end back up to the racks of long dresses. You weren't a big fan of dresses but you wanted to waste as much time as you possibly could, so you decided to browse the gowns with Rhea. 

She pulled a deep maroon dress, the form fitting glittered bodice was paired with a looser, more freeing skirt. “Try it on!” Rhea pushed, shoving the dress into your arms.

“I’d look so stupid in this.” You gave Rhea a bewildered look.

“Oh c’mon just try it!”

“Rhe’ when have you ever given a shit about this stuff?”

“Dude you’re the one that wanted to waste time here…” Rhea playfully scorned, diverting your question.

“Urgh, I hate when you’re right.” You huffed, shuffling towards the dressing room. 

“How ridiculous do I look?” You pouted, opening the door of the changing room before shuffling to the closest mirror.

Rhea stood behind you, peering over your shoulder as you silently studied yourself in the mirror. You looked at Rhea through the mirror as she opened her mouth to speak but stopped herself in her tracks. “I mean it’s cute but where in the world would I wear this?” You shrugged, adjusting the straps as Rhea chewed on her cheeks.

“Wear it to prom.” Rhea timidly broke her silence.

“Why would I go to prom, Rhe’? First of all it would be so lame and second of all I’d have nobody to go with. I’m just gonna put this back.” You mumbled, turning to make your way back into the changing room.

 A hand grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. “Go with me…” Rhea blurted out, sounding scared of her own words. Her statement caused you to turn to face her with a puzzled expression, Rhea herself even looked surprised at what she just said. Fearing your rejection she quickly added on, “Ya know, like as a joke and stuff. We can make it not lame…”

“As a joke?” Your heart that was skipping beats just seconds ago was immediately let down. 

“Yeah. It’s just a stupid idea we don’t hav-”

“No, let's go…as a joke.” You interrupted Rhea’s nervous deflection. “We’ve got nothing better to do.” You shrugged on watching Rhea’s anxieties fade into the distance as her classic cheeky smile crept upon her face.

After you swapped out of your dress you returned to Rhea who was holding up a silky black dress with a deep slit in the skirt. “This’ll work. I’m too lazy to try anything on.” She chuckled while shrugging.

“That's ballsy Rhe-Rhe.”

══════⋆☆⋆══════

Tonight was the night, you were sat atop Rhea’s bathroom counter, finishing up your makeup while Rhea was shuffling around her closet searching for a pair of shoes. It had been four weeks since Rhea ‘asked’ you to prom and you simply couldn’t keep your mind off it. Although you two planned this whole thing as a joke, something shifted ever so slightly between the two of you, maybe it wasn’t a joke, who knows. Rhea had your heart in your throat at every moment and you were the topic of every thought that popped into Rhea’s head. More than ever the both of you were head over heels for each other, just terrified the other wouldn’t reciprocate those shared feelings.

Your parents were completely unaware you’d be attending prom. You had informed them you were staying with a friend before immediately storming off to Rhea’s house. Rhea’s parents hadn’t a clue either, they were under the impression tonight would be just another night of the two of you doing nothing for hours then sneaking out to go for a drive at three in the morning. There truly wasn’t much reasoning behind this secret, you guys just wanted to have this night for yourselves without pestering parents. 

“Urgh! At this point I’m gonna go barefoot!” You could hear yet another pair of shoes be tossed to the floor. You slid off Rhea’s counter, stepped out of her bathroom and over to her closet. She was already in her dress tearing through a pile of shoes on the floor. “What has gotten into you Rhe’?” You leaned against the doorframe laughing at the fact that Rhea of all people was stressing over shoes. 

 Rhea rolled her eyes ignoring your banter. “Would it make me a hipster if I wore converse?”

“Oh absolutely, I dare you!” 

“You know I will,” Rhea retorted, picking up a black pair of the canvas shoes.

You chuckled before turning to return to the bathroom, letting Rhea know you were gonna change. You got into your dress with ease up until you came to the zipper on the back. You groaned in annoyance, reaching behind to your back attempting to wiggle the zipper to no avail.

“Rhe’, can you help me real quick?” You asked while popping your head out the door.

“Hm? What’s up?” Rhea turned around and questioned before making her way up to you, trying to keep her gaze from falling down to the hand placed on your chest, keeping the dress from completely slipping from your body.

“Zippers stuck,” You pouted, turning around. Rhea’s hand swept across the base of your neck, sweeping your hair to the side. You watched her through the mirror as she began fumbling with the metal, ultimately getting it to slide up your back.

After an awkward exchange of bashful looks the two of you finished getting ready in each other's company. You sat next to Rhea slipping into your shoes while she tied off her converse, took a handful of polaroid pictures together, then eventually snuck out Rhea’s window to begin your hike to the school.

══════⋆☆⋆══════

“Ouu! Ripley’s got a date!” Was whistled out by a classmate as you and Rhea made your way down the congested hallway, making Rhes roll her eyes.

“Shut up dickhead! We’re here as a joke.” Rhea rebutted, flipping the guy off as she carried on down the hall. 

Here as a joke but her flushed cheeks and sweaty hand gripping yours told a slightly different story.

“Dickheads always running their mo-” Rhea muttered, stepping into the crowded gymnasium.

“Shh. It’s fine, you shouldn’t worry about them.” You cut off Rhea, giving her hand a squeeze as you examined the starry night themed room. The area was dimly lit by blue leds and strings of fairy lights. Blue curtains decorated with paper stars draped over the majority of the walls while an array of tables adorned with bottles of fairy lights surrounded a dance floor full of teenagers.

You both seated yourselves near the stage where a live band was playing. Your legs pressed against one another as you fell into an array of conversations. Thirty minutes had managed to sneak by before your meaningless conversation was cut short by your biology teacher.

“You girls gonna sit here and chat all night? Go dance!” 

“But dancing is lame, Mr. Brown.” Rhea groaned while you both turned to face the man.

“I promise you that in ten years you’ll regret not doing anything at your senior prom. Seriously, go dance!” Your teacher stood behind you giving his words of advice. Rhea peeked over to you looking for your opinion. You gave her a ‘why not’ shrug before rising from your seat.

“But I don't even know how to slow dance.” Rhea whined to herself under her breath as she stood up. “If we have to dance, we’re dancing in the corner cause I’m gonna look stupid.” She stipulated.

You guided Rhea over to a secluded section of the dance floor near a wall, reassuring her that you also had no clue on what you were doing. 

“We’ll just do what everyone else is doing, Rhe’.” 

“I think this right,” Rhea unassuredly giggled with a racing heart, taking a hold of your left hand while wrapping her free hand around your waist. You shook your hair to cover your flushing cheeks as you brought your right hand to rest on her shoulder. The pair of you began swaying to the music while trying to hold back laughter, both in slight disbelief at your current situation. Prom was the last place either of you ever expected to be attending.

You were already trailing back into the pit of those sapphire eyes, drowning out all external noise you missed Rhea humming about how beautiful you looked. You were too occupied taking in the essence of your childlike crush to take notice of the grip Rhea had on your waist tightening. You were fully prepared to stare into those eyes all night, but Rhea was eager to run a risk.

A set of warm lips fell onto you abruptly, pulling you by the waist into a desperate kiss. All five senses rushed over your body, sending a rush of adrenaline through your bloodstream, placing you in awe too shocked to move.

Rhea forced herself to pull away, letting a sigh of relief out before the panic settled in, “Shit. I, god I’m so-”

Your thoughts had just now grasped what just happened.

This was a kiss that spent years in the making…you were not just gonna let it end like that.

Your hand slipped to the back of Rhea’s head, pushing Rhea back into the kiss, forcibly putting an end to her apology. She immediately fell back into your lips, closing her dilated eyes. While her tongue slid across your bottom lip begging to deepen the kiss, her hands slid up to cup your cheeks. Time slid away as the two of you fell into each other in your isolated corner of the gymnasium.

Rhea pulled herself from your lips breathless, her parted lips forming an open smile. She wanted more. You attempted to collect your thoughts while catching your breath. Both of you were attempting to draft a response while gazing into each other, because what do you say after tasting your best friend of five years?

“Cool.” You nodded

Rhea shook her head scoffing out a laugh, still making an attempt to regulate her breath. She took grip of your hand, giving it a squeeze before beginning to pull you into the hall without speaking a word.

“Wher-”

“Just follow me!” Rhea cut you off, rushing through the halls as she dragged you behind herself, both of you trying not to stumble over your dresses. 

She halted in front of the nurses office before fiddling with the keypad on the door, “God bless modern technology,” She muttered, managing to get the door open as you watched in disbelief. “Don’t even ask.” She chuckled, scanning the hall to make sure you were in the clear before tugging you into the room.

Once Rhea’s foot forced the door shut her lips directly got to work pinning themselves to your neck, nipping at the delicate skin. 

“Shit Rhe’, there might be cameras.” You pushed through a stunned whine. 

“There's none…” Rhea couldn't even pull her lips away from your skin as she spoke, “Wouldn't stop me either way, I’ve waited too long for this.” She grunted, dragging her kisses to your collarbone. “Now please tell me I can keep going.”

“I don’t think I could ever tell you to stop.” You pulled Rhea’s face to meet your eyes, whispering your confession. There was no need for Rhea to open her mouth, the look on her face alone told you that was exactly what she needed to hear.

“You have no fucking clue how long I’ve waited for this.” Rhea growled, grasping your cheeks as she pulled you over to the nurses twin sized treatment bed. 

She brought her legs to straddle over you, lowering her chest to hover over you. Rhea was attached to you like a dog, her lips were sloppy against yours as her hands snuck to pull up the skirt of your dress. 

Rhea brought herself between your legs, in a rush to finally get a taste of your core.

“Please��I’m begging you, please don't make me wait more than I already have.” Rhea looked up at you pleading.

Your heart was in your throat as you fervently nodded. “I wanna hear your voice,” Rhea begged, whispering out your name.

“Rhea, please just do anything, I need, I need you.”

With that said she hurriedly slid your panties down your legs, tossing them to the foot of the bed. Rhea was making it clear that tonight was her time to shine.

“Fuck, you’re perfect…” Rhea murmured, awed at the sight of your soaked cunt. Her arms tangled themselves around your legs. After years her tongue finally made contact with your delicacy, she preached a string of curses, finally getting what she was after. You propped yourself on your elbows to catch the sight of Rhea exploring your brand new world. You could feel a smirk between your legs as her eyes met yours, thirstily watching you watch.

“Tastes so good.” Rhea praised, sweeping her tongue through your folds before bringing herself to round your clit. You chewed on your cheeks to hush the moans escaping your throat as Rhea wrapped her lips around your sensitivity, allowing her to lightly suck at your skin. Your legs made an unsuccessful attempt at wrapping around Rhea’s head only to be overtaken by her hands, prying them open, giving her full access to devour your aching heat. 

The stealthy addition of two fingers into your emptiness was only amplifying the wobbly knees her mouth alone had created. Her fingers began steadily massaging into you, causing an arch to form over your back. The mixture of Rhea’s roaming tongue and grinding digits already had a knot forming in your stomach.

“Fucking Christ Rhe’, where the fuck did you learn all this.” You struggled out through moans. Rhea let out a soft chuckle as she continued to take your clit into her mouth, rolling her tongue piercing over your sensitivity.

Rhea gave your cunt one last kiss before she brought herself to face you. Now that Rhea had finally gotten a taste of your mouth she couldn't get enough, she had to return for more. Your lips once again blended together, your moans now slipping into Rhea’s mouth as her fingers curled inside your core. 

“God, you sound so beautiful.” Rhea admired, pressing her warmed forehead against yours while her digits continued toying with your clenching walls. Her thumb was soon added to the mixture of pleasure as it rubbed rhythmic circles over your bud. 

“Rhe’, I want to feel you against me,” You opened your eyes, pulling from her kiss while your hips rolled against her working digits. “Please.”

Rhea nodded, her eyes full of adoration, she’d do whatever it took to please you no matter if it took minutes or hours. She let her fingers come to a declined pace before withdrawing from your warmth. She stood up, licking her fingers clean before riding her dress up her legs and dropping her panties. She rushed to return to the bed pulling your leg into the air before propping a leg of hers next to your hip.

Rhea settled her heat against yours, letting out a heavy breath. She gradually started rocking her hips against you, mixing your slick together. You watched as the new sensation of pleasure washed over her, causing her jaw to drop open and her eyes to roll to the back of her head. 

“Just…just like that.” You whimpered as you began to grind your hips at a matching pace, chasing towards your climax. Rhea’s arm clung to your leg that was situated in the air for support as the sound of quiet moans and the rustling of dress fabric bounced around the room. 

“Feels so good, fuck.” Rhea quickened her motions, moaning out the nickname she created for you through heavy breaths.Rhea pushed herself further against you chasing her own high as you squirmed beneath her grinds. 

“Rhe’, I’m gonna cum.” You whined out, reaching for a hand to cling to. Her hand met you halfway, instantly taking you into her grip she pulled you up to meet her face. She was back to those oh-so passionate kisses she could now never get enough of. “Please, Rhe’!” You cried against her, her movements bucking against your cunt.

Rhea nodded into your kiss signaling for your release, her own climax just seconds away. Your series of moans brushed against Rhea’s lips as your orgasm washed over you, hers quickly following. Muffled whines echoed around the room as Rhea’s thrusts against you faltered.

After riding out your highs together, Rhea squeezed herself next to you on the tiny bed and rested her hand on your thigh, giving it a soft squeeze. “I swear to god if you say cool.” Rhea looked over at you giggling. 

“Unfair!” You joked, resting your head against Rhea’s chest. You both fell into silence simply taking in the moment, reflecting on everything that had just happened. Rhea peppered small kisses to the top of your head as you toyed with the fabric of her dress.

“We should probably get outta here before somebody finds us.” Rhea suggested, breaking the silence.

“Wanna go dance again?” You teased as you turned to face her.

Rhea quickly shook her head, “I’m never gonna dance again. I was so bad.” She laughed, “How about we go find a parking lot and makeout under the stars, hm?”

“I seriously would have never expected you to be all smoochy, Rhe’.”

“Look, I have like five years of kisses to make up for!”

[kokoch4n3l]

˗ˏˋ sacrifice(eat me up) ࿐ྂ "I dedicate to you my life, you can devour me whole"

summary: you held grudges. too many of them. so when Mikey beats your ass and puts you into a two-day coma after the disbandment of Toman, you're pissed and without thinking, show up at his place with a knife to get some revenge. It doesn't turn out the way you expected.

notes: inspired by the lyrics of sacrifice by enhypen. my first [y/n] fic and first ever fic written in second person! I hope it's acc good lol. NOT edited. mndi divider by cafekitsune

warning: gang violence, near-death experience, use of weapons, toxic relationships, slight knife play(?), suggestive themes, death threats, mature language, pet names(baby, pretty baby)

pairing: kanto!mikey x f!reader

word count: 1256

It felt like the world was ending when Mikey disbanded Toman. It was so out of the blue, so out of nowhere, so random, you couldn't understand why he did that or why you were so upset in the first place because it's not like you were ever officially a member anyway. You were simply a glorified nurse for the captains of the gang. You Mikey’s childhood friend, both of you training at his father’s dojo, close to Baji as well. When Mikey created Tokyo Manji Gang oh you pissed off. Girls weren’t allowed in biker gangs. It was annoying but you were an unofficial member by affiliation somehow. Somehow. 

Mikey was acting weird after that. Or at least on a particular day when shit really came crashing down on you. He came over to your house, knuckles bloody, a blank look on his face. As usual, you patched him up. Took care of him while your phone was buzzing with calls from Mitsuya, Draken, Pah and all the former captains. As you answered, Mikey grabbed your phone and threw it at the wall. In one swift move, Mikey pinned you to the floor. He had left you for last after pushing away the old squad leaders, giving you a beating that you were certain could have killed you if you didn't fight back. He wanted to move on. He wanted nothing to do with you, nothing to do with Draken, or Mitsuya, or Pah, and he was always someone who got his way in the end. 

But you were stubborn and held grudges. So when you wake up from your two-day coma and can stand without wanting to pass out, you go to Mikey’s place with a switchblade in your pocket and your left wrist in a cast. It isn’t hard to barge into his room since you have a spare key. He was doing something. You didn’t know exactly what but before he could turn around you flicked open the switchblade. Just as he turns around you take the chance and lunge at him, sending the both of you to the floor of the shed and you press the short blade to his throat. Mikey makes no move to try and defend him. Instead, he’s looking like this amused him. Like he knew you would come back because no matter what he's put you through, you always had in the end. It was almost humiliating. “A knife?” he murmurs, his hands coming up to hold your hips while you straddle him “That’s cute, still can’t beat me just like when we were kids?”

That angers you. The tone he was using, the memories he was using against you. It wasn’t fucking fair. You had never been able to beat him during sparing sessions when you still used to go to the dojo. Even now, you can’t. It wasn’t fucking fair. You give him the nastiest look you can muster and press the blade a bit harder against his throat. “I’ll kill you. I swear I’ll fucking kill you Manjiro” You hiss angrily at him “You think you can do that shit to me and get away with it?”

Mikey however, laughs. He fucking laughs. “Yeah, I do think that”

You feel annoyed. Mikey’s hair is out, not in the usual half-up half-down style. His dark circles were prominent and he looked paler than usual. But fuck he was still so pretty. “You’re a fucking asshole Mikey—”

“—Manjiro” He says in a way that corrects you, squeezing your hips “not Mikey… Manjiro”

“Shut up!” You yell and use your half-casted hand and punch him in the jaw

Mikey doesn’t even flinch nor does he make a sound. He rolls his jaw and stares up at you with a blank look and squeezes your hips even tighter. “I’ll kill you! I swear to god I’ll kill you!” You yell at him “Why the fuck did you do that to me?!”

You could feel yourself getting emotional. It was your weakness. You tended to cry when you got too angry. It was embarrassing and the reason you didn’t get angry as much and right now you hoped you didn’t burst out into tears while you were holding a knife to the Invincible Mikey’s throat. But you start to tear up anyway, your vision going blurry. “You gon’ cry, baby?” Mikey murmurs, a hand coming up to hold your cheek so carefully in comparison to last time when he almost killed you with those same hands

It’s humiliating. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. You were supposed to hurt him the same way he hurt you. But you had always been weak when it came to Mikey. Even after he hurt you like he did, even after he almost killed you— you were weak. “I hate you…” You sniffle as tears start to run down your cheeks “I hate you so much Manjiro”

Your tears drip down your eyes and onto his face due to the way you’re hovering over him. But Mikey doesn’t waver nor does he change the condescending expression or tone he has. It was embarrassingly easy for him to pull the switchblade out of your hand. You shiver as he drags the blunt edge of it against your cheekbone while you continue to cry. Mikey sits up and you slide down from his hips to his lap, straddling his thighs now. “Poor little baby” He says softly but in the same mocking tone, now dragging the blunt edge of the blade against your jaw

Tears run down your cheeks and you sniffle, shuddering nervously each time the cool metal makes contact with your skin. “Manjiro…” You cry like a damn child “Why did you do that to me?”

Mikey however smiles as you cry. He leans over and licks up your tears. It’s gross. You cringe and flinch away from him but his free hand that wasn’t holding the switchblade has a firm grip on your waist. “So pretty, hm… My pretty baby” 

He wasn’t taking you seriously. This was fun to him and it was making you even more mad and then anger was making you cry like a damn child. “This isn’t fair” You cry as he lowers you onto the floor on your back

Mikey has the blade pressed to your throat now, your hand lay limp on either side of your head. “It isn’t?” his tone is mocking “It was all just a test… Wanted to see if you’d always come back to me just as you said you would. Now look baby, you passed my test”

He sounds oddly cheery for someone who has a switchblade pressed to your throat and almost killed you about a month ago in your own house. “I’ll devour you whole like I want and you’ll let me like you always do” Mikey whispers as he presses a kiss to your forehead and presses the sharp edge of the blade slightly harder against your throat “You’ll let me won’t you?”

You were weak. Always too damn weak for Mikey. You sniffle and desperately grasp at his shirt. It was always like that and it would stay like that. You would let Mikey hurt you, kill you, bring you back to life, eat and devour you whole and spit you out as he pleases because… Because you were weak. “Yes…” you choke out through helpless and heartbreakingly sad-sounding whimpers

Mikey smiles and his free hand slides under your shirt. “Good girl… Now let me get a taste”

[caelesjjk]

entangled | jjk&kth - teaser

⟶title: entangled

⟶au: marvel au

⟶ rating: 18+

⟶ genre: romance, smut, love triangle

⟶wc: 1.5k for this

⟶banner: by meee, and yes I’m insane and made a new one

⟶warnings: mentions of blood, kissing, a boob grab and an ass grab, but no actual smut for this, Jungkook calls you Data

⟶ summary: Jeon Jungkook is Spider-Man.

He saved your life twice. But he’s also been your sweet lab partner in college for the past two years and now someone who is more than just a friend.

You care about him…maybe even love him. But something tells you that you aren’t quite sure what love even is. How could you when you have feelings for someone else as well?

Kim Taehyung is the handsome stranger you’ve seen around campus and somehow ended up dancing with at Club Onyx. You were upset that Jungkook had stood you up once again and Taehyung made you feel like you were on top of the world.

What you didn’t know that night, is the dark secret Taehyung is trying desperately to hide, but the closer the two of you get the more difficult that becomes.

⟶ authors note: hello darklings. I know a lot of people have been waiting for this fic, and you’ll have wait just a bit more. But in the meantime, I offer this little teaser to hold you over. A little glimpse of spidey kook. First chapter will be posted in just a few weeks!

Also, if you asked to be on the taglist just now that I tried messing with it for a long ass time and got annoyed lol. I may try again for the actual fic.

“What are you doing here anyways?” You shove against his broad chest and feel his arm release your waist. He sighs, following you inside your apartment.

“I know you’re upset I missed the study session…” Jungkook starts to explain, but you twist back around to face him.

“If my friends hadn’t seen you around campus now and then, they would think I made you up, Jungkook. You never show. It makes me look pathetic.” You cross your arms over your chest and wait for the next excuse.

“You aren’t pathetic, Data. I’m just…” Jungkook winces when he reaches for you, a hand moving down to his ribs in pain. “Sorry, it’s healing it’s just slow.”

“What’s healing? What happened to you?” You let the fight go for a moment, closing the space between the two of you and moving his hand out of the way.

Beneath his fingers is a large cut, bloody but half hidden by his suit. It looks angry and inflamed. What could’ve made a cut like this?

“It’s nothing. I’ll heal up in a couple hours.” He pulls your hand away, blood stained on the tips of your fingers.

“It won’t matter how quick you heal if it gets infected. Come in here.” Your hand wraps around his and you pull him into your small bathroom. You steady him against your bathroom vanity and move to grab your first aid kit from the cabinet above your toilet. “Take that off.” You gesture to his Spider-Man suit.

“Yes, ma’am.” Jungkook teases, gingerly working his top half out of the suit. He hisses through his teeth as he peels the suit away from his ribs and lets it hang at his hips.

You are not the universe's strongest soldier.

Your eyes drift over all the dips and curves of muscle. A perfectly sculpted chest and abs you could literally eat off of are scrambling every sense you have in your head. You need to focus. Stay focused on the task at hand and not his ridiculously toned body.

“You okay, Data?” He asks, humor in his voice. That horrid nickname he had given you in your first year as lab partners is feeling more endearing these days. You clear your throat.

“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine? Just tending to Spider-Man’s wounds in my extremely tiny bathroom.” You try to laugh but it doesn’t sound genuine.

You take out some bandages and gauze and get to work cleaning him up. But even as you tape down the gauze, you can visibly see the wound getting smaller. Super powers were really something else.

“Data.” Jungkook’s voice brings you back to reality.

“What?” You sigh.

“Please come here.” His hands reach for your hips and you give in, letting him pull you until you’re flush against him, suddenly nose to nose. “That’s better.”

“I’m angry with you.” You whisper, heart pumping a bit faster in the close proximity.

“I know that you are. I’m really sorry…I swear I wanted to be there.” You look down to see him slip his gloves off his hands and sit them on the countertop before they’re coming up to cup your face.

“Then what happened? You need to tell me.” Your hands wrap around his wrists.

“There’s something out there, Data. A…monster that we can’t figure out. He’s strong…and fast. Nothing I’ve ever seen before.” His thumbs brush the corners of your mouth.

“What does it want?”

“It keeps breaking into the Lab across the River. It’s looking for something. But no one at the lab is being very forthcoming with information.” His forehead presses to yours, “but Mr. Kim is working on that part.”

Seokjin Kim, also known as Ironman. He was a mentor and a good friend to Jungkook. He had helped Jungkook navigate the new world of being a superhero and also gave him a job to help him pay for school.

“Hasn’t Mr. Kim told you to call him Jin over and over?” You tease, hands coming up to rest against his chest. Jungkook laughs quietly, pulling you closer.

“He has. Guess it just slipped out.” His hands move down to palm your ass.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?” You raise an eyebrow in question of his actions.

“Just feels like I haven’t touched you in so long.” His warm mouth finds your throat and he presses kisses to the skin.

“Two days is a long time?”

“It is when it comes to you. Thinking about how much I want you gets so distracting.” He nuzzles into the crook of your neck making you giggle.

“So what I did for you two days ago wasn’t enough?” You let your hands slither down from his chest and over the planes of his stomach.

“Never enough.” His nose skims over your jaw until you’re back face to face and his lips are devouring yours. “I’d like to pay you back.”

“How?” You moan when you’re cut off by his tongue sliding into your mouth.

“Let me show you?” Jungkook pulls away from the kiss, taking your hand and leading you out of the bathroom.

Thinking he means to lead you to your bed, you start to pull him towards it but he seems to have other ideas, walking you back out onto the balcony. He releases your hand momentarily to slide his suit back up over his shoulders.

“What are you going to show me out here, Jungkook?” You start to feel suspicious.

“Do you trust me?” He jumps up onto your railing with ease, still holding your hand in his.

“Not if it involves you swinging me around off the side of buildings.” You start to pull your hand out of his, but his web shooter from the other wrist shoots a web at your torso, using his inhuman strength to pull you up onto the railing into his arms.

“I would never let you fall. Never. Just close your eyes for a few minutes. I promise it’ll be worth it, Data.” He touches your cheek gently, and even though you want to throw up every time he does this, you close your eyes and wrap your arms as tightly as possible around his neck and legs around his waist. “Ready?” He whispers in your ear, one strong arm wrapping around your back.

You don’t verbally answer, just nod once before burying your face into his neck.

And then the ground is no longer beneath your feet and the sickening feeling of free falling is very apparent. You try to breathe, squeezing yourself around Jungkook as you listen to the whooshing sound of his web shooters discharge and swing you between the tallest buildings in the city.

“You’re doing amazing.” Jungkook kisses your cheek, “just another minute.”

You keep your eyes squeezed shut until the curiosity becomes too overwhelming, making you dare to open your eyes just the slightest bit. You see the sun completely setting on the horizon, orange and purple hues slowly disappearing beneath the river. As long as you don’t think about how high up you are, it really is beautiful up here.

Jungkook shoots a web straight up into the air, letting it connect to the side of one of the tallest buildings, slowly pulling the two of you up until he’s reached the highest ledge, tapping your thighs so you know it’s safe to put your feet down.

“Why are we up here, Jungkook? You know the heights..” he kisses you before you can finish the sentence.

“Can we try something?” He smiles, and it’s infuriating. You’re too weak for this spidey boy. You sigh with exasperation.

“I’m already very wary of saying yes.” You look away from the ledge towards the top of the building.

“Let me make you feel good…up here.” His cheeks heat a little when he asks.

“Is this some kind of weird adrenaline thing? Why would you want that?” Your voice cracks and you sputter, disbelief heavy in your tone.

“I think it’ll be intense…feel so good.” His lips move down and his teeth nip at your jaw.

“It’s insane…” you melt into his touch and the way his mouth sucks at your neck.

“If you don’t like it, I’ll take you home. And I’ll get you naked in your bed instead.” He pulls your shirt over your head, fully knowing you’re about to give in.

“Bed sounds so good right now…”

“Please, Data…just try it.” He tosses your shirt to the side, cupping your breasts and kissing the tops of them.

“What do I have to do?” You feel too good to let the fear ruin the way he’s making you feel.

“Lie back on the ledge, with your arms above your head and your wrists crossed.”

You let him lead you down onto the ledge, every nerve in your body is hot and on the edge. Jungkook makes sure that you’re settled before he stands back up straight, looking down at you while you slowly move your arms above your head the way he asked.

“You’re perfect, Data.” Jungkook stares at you a moment longer before he aims his web shooter and traps your wrists together against the concrete ledge beneath you.

[eeunoia]

ENHYPEN Mini Series

ENHYPEN as Taylor Swifts Song

THE WAY I LOVED YOU

synopsis: they said in our life, there will be that one love that is so intense and passionate. the type of love that has good and bad days on it, but still feel home for you. the type of love that makes you crazy. so many emotions but for only one person. that’s park sunghoon for you.

pairings: park sunghoon x reader

word count: 12k.

warnings: toxic relationship, angst, sunghoon being a redflag. (let me know if i missed some)

note: i got totally carried away with this one and honestly i’m totally satisfied on how i wrote this. i’m currently on my psh phase so i’m totally crazy for him lol anyway, i hope you enjoy this fic and please please please leave your thoughts on replies or send me some ask. it helps so much to keep me writing more. ily & stay safe!

eeunoia 2024 © all rights reserved.

“Where are you going?” you asked while pulling the sheet up to your chest, watching your boyfriend scurrying to gather his things as he put his clothes on.

He threw you a short glance, hair still disheveled from the heated session you two just shared and went back on to what he was doing.

“Band practice.” he shortly replied.

You gulped, spacing out after his response. Its not that this is the first time he did this. Having sex with you and leave once his bandmates calls him out for practice. You always think that it was his priority over his relationship with you.

His steps are quick when he approach and kissed the top of your head like as if it will do any better.

“I'll see you later, okay?” and then turned his back to go on his way without sending you another look.

After hearing the sound of the door closing and locks clicking, you laid back on your shared bed and stared right at the ceiling. Mind occupied by a lot of thoughts and slowly feeling the energy finally draining out of you.

You have been dating Park Sunghoon for exactly three years now. He's the hot drummer of the band called PARADOX. Handsome, talented and very passionate man. He sure love what he does the most, music.

People who knows the two of you may say that your relationship with him is pretty sturdy. Despite the scruffles and misunderstanding along the side, the memories and bond you built together was not easy to break.

They'll also probably mention how the two of you are an odd combination. You, being someone who finished college to have a righteous degree and works as a fine finance manager in a big company and Sunghoon, being the drummer of a said band.

Its not that being in a band and making music is a bad occupation, its just compared to yours, his is just more unstable. Yes, he is good. His band is really good and somehow makes it to places to share their music, but at some point it just doesn't fit.

Sometimes, they still wonder how the two of you works it out. How you can handle the mess and the outgoing side of Park Sunghoon, notwithstanding the fact of being someone who loves peace and have a priggish personality.

“Are you still playing in that band?” this are the common question your Father loves to throw during dinners whenever you take Sunghoon home with you.

You've always know how things ends up so you are expeditious on getting in between.

“Dad.” you looked at him with a pleading eyes, hoping he'll cooperate tonight and let you guys have a peaceful dinner just for once.

Sunghoon tensed beside you as his hold over his utensils tighten, as well as his jaw. It was already hard to swallow food now that he's inside your home having dinner with your parents and now your Dad is again belittling him.

“Yes, sir.” he answered.

The usual disappointing and downgrading look on his face makes Sunghoon feels awful. During this time is when he'll surely never get used to. It makes him realize that no matter how good he do, no matter how great his band became, he will never be someone so worthy in the eyes of your Father.

“And for how long will you plan to do this nonsense?” he was not holding back at all. His wife, your Mom, beside him gently reaches for his arm, trying to stop him from saying more.

Sunghoon clenched his jaw, “Making music is not nonsense. We are doing well right now, sir.”

The way he says those words just makes your Father even more pissed at him. He always hates how he was so confident and prideful. The way he stands whenever he greets him after arriving at your home is giving off as someone imperious.

He scoffed humorless, “And for how long? I've already told you that there's no future in that dream of yours.”

“Dad!” your voice raised because you couldn't handle what he's saying right now.

Sunghoon stands abruptly, making a dragging sound from the chair he was occupying. He balled his fist and just stormed outside of your house. You stood and stared at your Dad with a look of dispair in your eyes. He didn't back down and just gave you this knowing look.

“I asked you to stop doing that.”

“And I already told you to leave that boy countless times, y/n. Stop wasting your time with him!” he strictly said.

“Never.” and with that you turned your feet to start coming after your boyfriend.

You saw him a few blocks away walking towards where he parked his motorcycle. With quick steps, you try to catch up on him.

“Sunghoon!” you screamed, but he didn't even looked back on you.

With gritted teeth, you hurried your steps even more and right on time that he ride his motorcycle, you grabbed him by his arm.

“Why are you not stopping!” you yelled, tears brimming your eyes.

He glanced at you and that's when you saw his bloodshot eyes. Your boyfriend never cries. His playful demeanor never showed his weak side, even with you. Maybe your father was right. He is someone full of pride and sometimes arrogant, but you love him. And he loves you.

“I told you already that I don't want to come! But you forced me anyway!” he yelled, making you flinch a little.

It was really your fault because you are so persistent on making the things between your Dad and him to work despite knowing the outcome of this visit to your parent's house.

“He will never see me worthy of you. You are always so hard to reach for me...” his tone low that made your heart crack. You've never seen him like this before.

His eyes darken as he teared his gaze away, shoving your hold off from his arm. You started to panic and watch how he grabs the handle of his vehicle then started the engine.

“W-What are you doing? Are you leaving m-me?” you asked in a broken tone that made him falter a bit, but the pain from the scene of how your father belittled him was stronger.

Rain starts pouring, but you stood your ground. Didn't even bothered that you are starting to get soaked by the now pouring rain.

“P-Please, don't do this.” you begged and Sunghoon stared at you and maybe it was the rain? Or the cold breeze surrounding you two, but he seems so cold and distant. It breaks you slowly.

“I l-love you so much.” you gulped getting rid of the lump on your throat. “P-Please.”

But he starts droving off. Your heart sank and quickly tries to run after him. Its stupid because there's no way to catch up just by running, but your mind was too clouded to even think straight.

The rain poured even harder and your knees felt weak from running too much. You stopped and cries even harder, heart feeling so broken. You don't feel bothered by the cold at all and all you can think of is how your chest is hurting so bad. You felt slightly suffocated from crying so hard, giving you a hard time to breath.

A roaring sound of an engine makes you lift your head and a string of hope ignites when you saw lights emitting from a vehicle that is driving near you.

Your lips shakes when you saw the familiar motorcycle stopping beside you, Sunghoon's all drenched like you when he turned his head at your side.

“Your father,” he starts and you shake your head sideways trying to stop him, but he continued. “he may hate me to his bones. He may resent me and never want me for you.” one of his hand lets go from the handle and reach over your hand.

“But I love you.” he said firmly that made you tear up even more. “I love you so fucking much that it hurts.” he pursed his lips hardly, jaw clenching hard as he tries to hide his emotions.

You cried and lets go from his hand to cup his face. Both feeling so cold from the nonstop rain but the warmth you two are giving each were enough for you. You leaned in connecting your lips before pulling away to stare at his eyes.

“I don't care about what he thinks. I only want you and no one else.”

He smirks then starts handing you a helmet.

“Then hop on, pretty. We're going to get sick if we stay here longer.”

And without a hint of hesitation, you wore the helmet and hopped on his motorbike. Sunghoon pulls your arm so you can hug him from behind.

“Hold on tight and don't let go.”

“Never.”

“Sunghoon, I told you already I'm still at the office. I can't be out until before 9pm.” your elbow rests over your desk as you try and massage your temple to ease your aching head.

“But our gig will start at eight pm, y/n. You said you'll watch.” he sounded so upset.

Normally, you will hurry yourself to go attend his gig but today was a rough day for you as well. Too many office works are lined up for you, workload piled up that you don't even know where to start. You know how much it means for Sunghoon having you to be there for him. But today's just so draining. And sometimes you kind of feel like you were always there for him but when will he be there for you?

“Sunghoon,” you draw in a heavy breath, calming yourself down to prevent saying anything that can spoil his mood. That’s the last thing you want to do if he have a gig.

“It’s just unexpctedly a very busy day. I need to finish all these works on time—” he cuts you even before you can finish your sentence.

“Just say it if you want to spend time with that co-worker and stop making lame excuses, y/n.” the sarcasm that lurks over his tone caught you dumbfounded.

Your mouth hanged open, unable to even utter your response to this nonsense he’s trying to imply. He’s very unbelievable. You are very tired already, the workload’s too heavy and here he is doubting you. He still have the audacity of accusing you over things when all you want is for this day to be over so you can see him and rest.

Sunghoon’s naturally a jealous boyfriend. He’s very possessive of you to the point that sometimes it can be out of hand. His bad temper and jealous demeanor is not a good combo because he always ends up fucking up things and telling you things he didn’t mean at all.

“Baby, no. Of course not! I really want to watch your gig, you know that right? It’s just—”

“You will really choose that over me, aren’t you? Like as if people doesn’t think I was unworthy of you already. You just really need to prove more...” his monotonous tone are like knives straight to your heart.

“Don’t even go there. You know its not that.” your lips tremble along with your hands as the conversations starts to get more intense.

“Yeah, right. Have fun with your co-worker.” he mumbled with a bitter tone and ended the call right away.

You shut your eyes as you drop your phone to your desk wrecklessly before running your hand through your hair, messing it a bit. The silence occupying the almost empty building floor didn’t help from the aching of your head. He’s really just unbelievable.

And it’s even more unbelievable that you are still so in love with him despite the red flags he’s obviously showing you. It was too late for you to even realize that you are already packing your things to go and see your boyfriend’s gig. The mountain-like paperworks that were on your table caught your eyes and made you halt for a bit, but in the end you chose to turn the lights off and head out of your office. Off to see your sulking boyfriend.

When you arrived, it was their last song for the night. The traffic on the way made the suppose to be 20 minute travel an hour long drive. A relieved sigh made it to your lips while you walk towards their manager, your feet starts to stings from your high-heel.

“Y/n! I thought you couldn’t make it tonight? Sunghoon said.” he smiled warmly before giving you a friendly hug.

You tried your best to return his smile as your eyes roamed and trailed over to the stage. The spotlight that pointed over your boyfriend gave you the chance to have the perfect view of him playing passionately. A small string tugs inside your heart while watching him, eyes closed and letting himself be drawn by music.

When people ask you why you fell so hard for him, they probably won’t understand you unless they’ll be in your shoes themselves. These are the moment he shines the most. The moment you can clearly see the real him. His love for his passion and his smiles melts you from the inside and out. It was unexplainable. You love Sunghoon. You love him so dearly to the point your heart aches.

When he opens his eyes like as if he felt an intense eyes are watching him, he met yours. Those pretty eyes that looks at him with so much affection. The eyes that pretty much made him feel things no one else can. The eyes that can comfort him. His safe place, his solace and his other half. For Sunghoon, if music is his passion then you are the life that pushes him to chase it. His inspiration.

His eyes fixated over you and lips pursed into a pout, still sulking. That made you chuckle and mouthed, ‘I love you.’

Sunghoon’s lips lifts up before responding, ‘I love you too.’ that made your stomach churns and heart thumping like crazy. Somehow it made you feel at ease. Despite all the worries and trials, as long as you have him, you will manage.

Only you and him will understand the type of love you share with each other.

“Thank you so much for tonight everyone! And we are...” Heeseung, their lead vocalists stalls his words and glanced at his band-mates and in unison they leaned over the mics near them and said, “PARADOX.”

The crowd cheers and you can see how they truly enjoyed the whole show. A small, but proud smile made its way towards your lips. The boys did a short fan service while you stay at the side with their manager. Girls swarms around them, but you didn’t mind it. This isn’t new for you anymore and if you want a partner in this line of job, you should prepare yourself for crazy fangirls.

“I’m really glad you made it, y/n” your head snaps over to the side when their manager spoke. He gave you this sincere look on his face and some other kind of gaze you couldn’t identify.

He sports this plain white shirt and some jeans. Hair styled in a pretty basic style any boy could pull and then he stood there a little stiff. You gave him a smile and a clap over his shoulder.

“Of course, I want my boyfriend to know I’m always here for him.” you stated that made his smile falter for a bit. He was quick to pull it back up, nodding his head slowly like as if he was reminded of something.

“Right... Sunghoon.” he mumbled.

Your gaze remained at him, a little confused of his reaction. It bothered you a bit so you’re about to ask him what’s wrong when a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist.

“Hi hotstuff.” Sunghoon’s voice sounded so seductive as he quickly leans for a heated kiss.

You squeals lightly and tries to pull off from him, but ends up giving in and showing everyone how you two devours each other’s faces. One of Sunghoon’s hand moved down to slightly grope your butt that made you moan a little over his lips. He smirks, mission accomplished for him.

He was greeted by your blushing cheeks once he pulled away, one hand still possessively resting over your waist to keep you close to him.

“H-Hello,” the impact of your latest stunt dawning you, making you feel so shy.

He smirks, fangs showing and good Lord, does he look even hotter.

“You came.” his tone indicates the joy to see you here and that just makes you feel so much better. He may not vocally thank you or tell you he appreciates it so much, but the way his eyes twinkle and shines was enough for you to know how he feels.

“Of course. My boyfriend is being sulky so I have no other choice.” the corner of your lips lifts up, taunting him.

He stares at your eyes before grinning even wider, “I’m not sulky.” he leans in again, couldn’t resist your lips after glancing at it for a second. After he placed a loving kiss, he leans away and went back on facing his friends.

You watch how he threw a short glance at their manager as well and it remained for a while before he direct his attention to some acquaintances that are greeting his band.

The night was long, as usual. This is pretty much what happens whenever he have gigs. You feel so tired, feet feels so painful that you are sure you grew blisters over it. Your eyelids felt so heavy as well, the long day finally kicking in. The boys are still loud and celebrating, but finally one called it a night.

All of you starts heading outside the bar they performed in. Sunghoon’s walking a few steps ahead of you, talking and goofing with his friends. You are silent, too tired to even listen or join on their conversation.

You were almost hit by the door when Sunghoon didn’t even remember to hold it for you. He was too busy talking to his band-mates and didn’t even noticed that the door almost slapped you on the face. Thankfully, an arm held it for you.

“Thank you, Riki.” you gave him a small smile.

You’ve been together with Sunghoon for a while now so that only means you’ve hanged out with his band countless times causing you to grew closer towards them. But for some reasons, Riki is the only one who is somehow felt awkward to be with. You cannot explain why, but there’s just something about him that leaves you nothing to say.

He didn’t smile or anything, just stared down to you using his intimidating eyes.

“No problem.” shivers ran to your spines because of his low voice. His eyes then moved from looking at your eyes towards your things you’re trying to juggle with your arms.

“Let me help you.” it was not a question and even before you can say something to politely reject his offer, his hands reaches over to help you carry your things.

“U-Uhm, thanks.” and your eyes drifted over him as he didn't spoke any words after that.

Riki walks you up to where your boyfriend’s car was parked. Sunghoon’s eyes finally caught you and you don’t even know what to tell him while you approach closer.

His strict eyes caught to your things being carried by Riki. When you are steps away from him, he approaches trying to keep a cool smile.

“Baby, you disappeared from behind me.” and he said that while eyes fixed at his bandmate.

“Well if you keep a close eye to your girlfriend, you might’ve noticed how she’s struggling carrying her stuff, hyung.” Riki didn’t even hesitate to say those words at him.

Sunghoon wasn’t happy about it and you can clearly see anger slowly rising through his face. He clicked his tongue at the side of his cheeks and was about to advance towards Riki, but you stopped him.

“Can we just go? It’s already late and I have work tomorrow.” you stared straight at his eyes.

They were arrogantly looking at you, but eventually softening in surrender. He sighs and grabbed your hand to intertwin your fingers before he nods silently. His head snapped over to his friend and he gave him this knowing look before opening the car’s door for you.

He retrieved your things from Riki and placed it neatly behind your car. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything anymore and just went inside his car afterwards. Riki went on his way as well, riding his motorbike that was parked not too far away.

Sunghoon starts his engine and both of you are silent. It was like that for the first few minutes of the drive, until he decides to break it.

“When did you even got close to Riki?” his tone sounds confused and at the same time implicating something.

You furrowed your brows and glanced at him, “He just helped me to carry my things—”

“Exactly! He doesn’t do that at all, y/n.” the way he said your name was with emphasis. Like telling you that its a serious matter for him. A big deal. But again, when did it never became a big deal when other boys gets involve with you?

“And? I’m his bandmate’s girlfriend. Isn’t it okay for him to help me?!” now, you can’t help but to feel upset about this because you are tired already and he’s making an argument just because Riki helped you.

“You’re just really clueless with your surroundings. You will never understand.” the way his grip tightens at the steering wheel and his jaw clenches caught your attention.

You wanted to just yell at him and point out how he’s being unreasonable and plain childish about this, but you are too drained. Its late already, you’re tired from the office, your feet hurts with this dumb heels and you feel sticky from all the travel you did just to get to their gig. Having an argument with him was the last thing you expected to have.

“Its not my fault that my boyfriend forgot about me and walks off.” you sighed and he was silent after hearing that from you.

“Can’t you just be thankful that he helped me and I didn’t broke an arm from carrying all those stuff?” this time, you tried to soften your tone as a sign of time-out from this nonsense argument he was trying to put up with.

You saw his grip softens and he released a heavy sigh. “Fine.” he glanced at you and his brows are not hardly furrowed anymore. His eyes softens as well. “I’m sorry, baby. Its not my intention to make you feel like I forgot you, I was just really excited.”

With pursed lips, you nodded your head and leaned in for a quick peck over his lips.

“I know. That’s why I didn’t spoil the mood. You were really great from a while ago.” you complimented him, finishing it with your warm smile.

Something warm caress his heart. This is one of the reasons why he can never let you go. Most people would’ve walked out on him or hate at him, but not you. Never.

You will always find a way to find the goodness in him. Even if 99 problematic things about him are presented in front of you, you’ll still find that 1 good thing about him.

You always know the perfect words to calm him down or make him feel better.

He reached over your hand that was resting over your thighs and took it over his lips for a soft kiss. His gaze never left your eyes.

“Thank you for today, really.” he sighs, trying to supply himself more oxygen as he feels like you’re taking his breaths away once again.

“I love you.”

A smile spreads across your face and your free hand stretched out towards him to cup his face. “I love you, Hoon.”

These are the moments you wanted to keep no matter what. Reasons why despite the hardships you go through with Sunghoon, you always manages to find a reason to stay.

But of course, there’s not always good times in your relationship. What else gives it spice other than petty arguments and very random fights with each other?

Months after, the band had another big gig and of course you went to support him like usual. To your surprise, they had a guest singer. Female singer to be exact. And the way she interacts with your boyfriend just can’t leave your mind. It’s bothering you.

“You two seems close.” the comment was short and your eyes watch how your boyfriend load his things inside his car while you rest your back beside it.

Sunghoon threw you a short glance and narrowed his brows.

“What do you mean?”

“You and that girl.” the way you pronounced the word ‘girl’ with so much emphasis gave off hints towards him that you’re implying something.

His shoulder fell as he stared at you for a while, like unconsciously asking if you’re being serious with the choice of tone you decided to use at him. He sighs, when he realized you aren’t budging, but instead crossed your arms at him.

He’s already too tired to even explain things that you won’t listen to. So he struts closer you, held you over your hips and planted a sweet kiss on the lips.

“Let’s just go home, hot stuff. I’m tired.” and he walks over to the driver’s seat not even bothering to open the door for you.

But it seems like you are in the mood to be petty. So even after you made it to the passenger seat and he started driving on your way home, you bring up that topic once again.

“I saw the way she looks at you. I bet she’s undressing you in her mind.”

It made him sigh and roll his eyes. “Seriously? Are you going to talk about that until we makes it to the apartment?”

“Why? You irritated already?” you tilt your head and he glanced at you with piercing gaze. It didn’t bother you at all. If he’s pissed, then you are too.

“You didn’t even introduce me to her.”

His fingers taps his steering wheel more frequently and bit his lips. He sighs, calming himself.

“I did. I even told her your name.”

“But you didn’t told her that I’m your girlfriend!” it was so petty. Even you, you also think that this is such a nonsense thing to argue off. It’s just seeing her look at your boyfriend that way while you’re there doesn’t sit right for you.

Sunghoon scoffed loudly and even if he have a smirk on his face, there was no humor on it. He’s slowly losing his patience.

The wiper of his car moves when it suddenly started raining. It’s the last thing you care about. Your focus is on the hot drummer that’s currently driving you home in your shared apartment. The hot drummer that’s clenching his jaw hardly while trying his best not to argue with you. The hot drummer whose lips so red after you kissed him multiple times to make that bitch know her place. The hot drummer that is clenching his jaw hardly because you keep pushing his buttons at the moment.

“Are you fucking serious right now?” he couldn’t help, but curse.

“Be honest with me. Are you two close? Because with the way she linked her arms, it seems like so.”

He rolled his eyes as he teared his gaze off of you and back to the road. The rain are still pouring hard that its a little difficult to drive.

“You really aren’t going to stop unless I answer your questions, are you?” he surrenders. You didn’t answer and just crossed your arms while looking at him. Waiting for what he’s about to say.

He gave you another short glance as he shook his head. Like he couldn’t believe what situation you just put him into.

Honestly, you don’t know what exactly it is that you wanted to hear from him. If he answers that he doesn’t know her that long, you will still feel pissed because why the hell does she acts like they’ve been best friends ever since they were born? And if he answers, yes they know each other for a long time, you will feel really bad because you will feel jealous.

“We’ve known each other since highschool. Even before the band started playing in other places.” he says.

Your shoulder fell and he saw it from his peripheral view. He knew you won’t feel so good about it, but he also know that lying about it will only make the situation worse. The car fell silent right after he said it.

“Is she your ex-girlfriend?” that question doesn’t sound like you are asking him. Its more like you already know and just expecting an answer from him.

“No, okay? So calm your dumbass.” he’s starting to lose his patience for you.

You’ll be honest, you kind of thought he would say yes. That actually made you feel better. But not enough to let her slip away from your mind. Those eyes. The way she looks at you just boils something inside you.

“Did you two kissed before?” you fired him that question with more suspicion.

When you saw the look on his face, you felt something in your heart cracks. It definitely stab something in you when his expression confirmed that.

With slightly teary eyed, you raised your chin up to ask him your last question.

“Did you have sex with her?” bitterness latched through your voice and you bit your lower lip when he stayed silent again. Confirmed.

“Pull over.” you command and harshly wiped the tears that escaped.

He sighs, “Baby, come on...” he pursed his lips and even tried to reach over you.

“I said pull over!”

He clenched his jaw tighter then obliged, knowing well you will just fall into a much worse mood if he don’t do as you say. He’s expecting you to hit him by his arm or shout at him again, but he surely didn’t expect you storming out from his car. He didn’t see that one coming.

Between you two, he’s the jealous one. There are rare times that you get jealous and when it happens, its so hard to calm you down. Sunghoon’s heart is thumping hard, slightly thrilled to watch you acting like this. The oh so perfect, y/n. Shouting and acting crazy out of jealousy. He bet he’s the only one who made you feel like this.

“Y/n!” he shouts and went after you.

The rain starts to pour harder, but it didn’t bothered you at all. You marched away from his car, towards the nearest bus stop. With just a few steps, he managed to catch up on you and grabbed your arm then yanked you towards him.

“Let me go!” you screamed at him.

Sunghoon’s clenching his jaw as he stares at your face carefully. It was hard to tell if you’re crying or not due to the rain that’s slowly soaking you both. Despite your attempts to free yourself, Sunghoon just tightens his grip and kept his stares over you.

“Stop being a brat and let’s go back inside the car! We’re both drenched because of you!”

You clenched your jaw and hands into fists. People who passes by will probably think that you’re both losing your minds. Going out in the middle of the rain and fighting at 2 am. Thankfully, there are fewer cars driving through.

“I cannot believe you fuck that bitch!” it was rare enough to see you shouting, but much more rare to hear you cursing like this.

“It was a long time ago!” he renew his hold and this time reached for the other arm. The wetness of your skin kind of makes it slippery, but he knew he won’t let go of you.

“That happened before you, y/n! And it means nothing for me.”

“Clearly isn’t the same for her?!” you stopped resisting and just stay still, glaring at him.

“The way she links her arms and flirts with you drives me insane! Like I want to pull you away and kiss you in front of her type of insane!”

Sunghoon’s dumbfounded. He knows he should not feel so happy about what he heard, but he is. Just by thinking of you going crazy to the point you’ll insist public affection is making his heart race. To think you are crazy for him as he is to you, is driving him even more crazier. He just couldn’t get enough of you.

“Then why didn’t you?” this time he seems more calmer that made your narrowed brows falter. He was just screaming at you too, now he’s a lot calmer.

“I’m yours, y/n. I belong to you so claiming me in front of anybody is no problem at all.” he says and took another step closer. Your bodies pressed together and when he noticed that you aren’t trying to escape his hold anymore, he raised his hand to cup your face.

“I don’t fucking care if she tries to flirt with me. I don’t care about her. All I care about is you.” his eyes slowly roams his eyes to your pretty face.

“Yes, we did kissed and fucked before,” he sighs and your lips pursed into a pout but let him finish what he wants to say.

“But she never made me feel like this.” he held one of your hand then rest it above his chest, enough for you to feel his racing heartbeat.

“She doesn’t make me nervous whenever she stares at my eyes. She doesn’t give me butterflies whenever she smiles at me or melt my heart whenever she hold me.” your eyes water from his sincere words as he licked his lower lip, gaze not leaving you.

Both of you are soaked, but it didn’t bother you at all. Sunghoon’s bangs covers his forehead, some beads of rains falling from it over to your face as he stare down at you.

“That’s all you, love. Only you can make me feel madly in love. Like I will go crazy because I love you too much.” a tear fell from his eyes along with the raindrops from his hair. He looked ethereal staring at you lovingly, with so much emotions that makes your heart burst because of exceptional happiness.

“That’s the way I love you.” he murmured near your lips before you leaned to press a hot kiss for him.

“I love you so much, Hoon.” and this time, it was his turn to lean and kiss you passionately.

Disregarding the fact that you are under the hard pouring rain, sharing probably one of the most memorable kisses of your relationship, you’re mind is clouded by how intense your feelings are for the man that holding you right now. It’s funny how moments ago you’re just screaming at each other and now, your lips feels so hot connected together.

But it seems like, love is not enough to keep the relationship steady. And just like what older people used to say, everything is bad when its too much.

Being with Sunghoon felt like a dream with nightmares, clear blue oceans with big dangerous waves and a freaking roller coaster ride. Sometimes you’re so happy that you feel like your heart will burst with so much emotions and sometimes you feel like everything’s too much. That its tiring and draining you.

It somehow toxicating. And this toxic relationship with Sunghoon is honestly tiring you.

“And now you are giving me the silent treatment? Wow!” his sarcasm rubs on you, making your heart feel more heavy.

“I have nothing to say to you after what you just did, Sunghoon.”

“What? You’re mad because I embarrassed him? He’s clearly hitting on you!” your head snaps at him with glaring eyes.

“He’s just being nice and he’s my head supervisor!” your tone raised and he didn’t liked it in one bit.

Sunghoon’s always the jealous boyfriend. You actually couldn’t understand why he’s being like this when you already made it so clear that he’s the only one for you. That there’s no man that can ever steal you away from him.

“Oh, okay. I see...” he clenched his jaw before laughing with no humor. He faced the road and tried hard to focus on driving.

“If you want to impress your supervisor so much, why bring me with you?!” his statement made you roll your eyes in annoyance.

“Because you’re my boyfriend and I want you to be there for me! Will it hurt so much to be supportive or know something about what your girlfriend loves to do?! It’s not always going to be about you, Sunghoon! I need you to be there for me too!”

Your words may had come out wrongly, but all you wanted is for him to be for you. It was a thrilling day since employees should make good impressions to the supervisors to show how fit and reliable they are for the company, but your bofriend just made a scene and now you have no idea how you will show up to work on Monday.

“I told you already that these type of events are not for me! People are clearly looking down on me for having such a wonderful girl like you! They will always rub it on my face how perfect you are and that you deserve so much better!” his tone raised and it made you jolt a bit.

“And it seems like you just don’t get it! You kept on forcing me to go and I hated it! You are just determined to prove me that they’re so right!”

Your heart cracks and his words are like knives straight to your heart. You know him. Whenever he’s mad, he ought to say words he doesn’t mean. That’s his way of avoiding to show what he truly feels. You can tell by his blood-shot eyes and clenching jaw. But you are tired. You are tired of understanding him.

“Is that how you really see me? Do you really think that that’s what I’m doing?”

He clenches his jaw, being stubborn. “Maybe you are really ambitious and I’m just the stupid boyfriend who knows nothing but to enjoy music.” he says emotionless.

A tear left your eye. You can’t take this anymore. You had enough.

“Stop the car.” it was almost audible, but thanks to the deafening silence after what he said made it clear and loud. He furrowed his brows and looked at you, checking if you’re being serious.

You two have been arguing about you and this job for a week. And the event is today and Sunghoon just ruined it for you. Honestly you’re getting enough of it. With all the stress from your work and family, he suppose to be your resting place. But that’s not the case anymore.

He did stop the car and even before you open it, he said something. “The moment you leave, we’re done.” he said coldly.

You halted from stepping outside and felt your heart crack, but you knew you needed it and so you did. You left him.

“Jake’s so sweet, y/n! I truly envy you for having him as your boyfriend!” one of your friends exclaimed right after Jake left your table to go order some food.

You gave them a small smile. They’re right. Jake is really the best boyfriend. He treats you very well. He’s everything you’ve asked for before. A caring and loving boyfriend. He’s working in the corporate world, which matches yours. He’s very gentle towards you, always got the doors for you, he never makes you wait, he cares for what you want and a man of his words. He felt like so warm to be with, someone you can be comfortable with easily.

“Yeah,” you replied short with a small smile on your lips. They giggle, truly happy for you.

“Thank God you snapped out of it and finally got the man you deserve.” one of them says that made your smile falter.

She didn’t mention anything or any name, but you knew who she’s referring to and what she means by that sentence.

An awkward laugh from another friend broke the silence and just diverted the topic. You tried to pull up your smile once again, especially after seeing from a distance that Jake’s already on his way back to your table.

He sets himself at the chair beside you and smoothly made a conversation with your friends. He’s very friendly too. He gets along with people with no sweat. Such a pure man.

You’re about to put a straw to your drink, but he beats you out of it. He reached for it and carefully slid it towards you while still talking to your friends. It made you smile. Being treated like this sure feels right, feels okay. But why does your heart feel a little heavy?

Jake threw his arm and placed it behind your chair, hand caressing your arm gently. You pushed whatever that feeling is behind your mind and tries to join their conversation as well.

The day went smoothly and now Jake dropped you at your place. As you unclasped your seatbelt, he went out of the car then walked around so he can open your door for you. He even offered a hand with that warm smile of his.

A chuckle slips off from you before you accepted it and went out. His other hand rests over your hip as he slightly pins you to his car to place a kiss over your lips. He smiles after a couple of pecks then leans away to stare at your eyes.

“You’re so beautiful.” he says sincerely that made you smile widely. Jake and his words.

“You’ve been saying that all day, Jake.”

He chuckles, biting his lips feeling a little shy. “Just so you wouldn’t forget.”

“Thank you.” you said while looking straight to his eyes.

He might take it as a thank you for today, but there’s more to it. Jake’s the next serious relationship after Sunghoon and it can’t be helped to compare the two of them. Even if you know its not good to do that, you just can’t stop yourself from doing so. They’re very different from each other.

“No problem.” he leans again to give you another peck.

“See you tomorrow, baby.” Jake said with a soft smile. You nodded and waved before going inside your apartment and called it a day.

It’s been almost a year ever since that night and yet its still fresh from your memory like it was just yesterday. You resigned from your previous job. You wanted so bad to convince everybody that it was because you’re embarrassed by what happened prior to it, but no. It was mainly because you kind of blamed it for losing your relationship. Kind of dumb, but maybe you are really insane when it comes to him.

Sunghoon never contacted you after that. You didn’t hear from him ever since and honestly it pissed and got you butt hurt. Well, you did change your number and blocked him from all your social media but you kind of hoped he will try to reach out for you.

Seems like it was meant to end that way.

Some people from your life kept telling you that you did the right thing, that it was the best decision you’ve ever made. You got a new job, got a new boyfriend that your parents approved. They adore Jake so much. He’s so close to your Mother and to your Dad as they’re both into business.

You should be happy about it. You are happy. But a part of you aches for someone. A bitter feeling lingers inside you because they never tried to open their heart for Sunghoon before. It makes you think that if they did, maybe things went a little more okay.

You threw your head back and stared at the ceiling. A slight guilt crept inside your heart. You got the perfect boyfriend you’ve been praying for and he’s treating you right. He barely even fight with you as he was always understanding.

But as stupid as it sounds, you missed screaming and fighting with Sunghoon. Those instense moments that just brings out much more emotions within you that makes you act insane.

These thoughts are making you crazy so you decided to take a quick shower and just call it a day. You went to bed with eyes brimmed with tears, aching and missing him so bad. It frustrates you because you feel helpless, unable to do anything about it. You’re scared to think that you are still thinking of him right now while he’s happy with someone else.

The next thing you know, it was morning already. Your eyes hurts a bit for crying to sleep last night so you’re slightly out of it when you went to your office.

“Do you want some coffee? Looks like you need one.” one of your officemates offered that you returned with a small pout.

“Please.” and she nods before going to the pantry for a while to get you your coffee.

“Here you go.” and she gently placed it on your working table. You mumbled a small ‘thanks’ as she settles at her chair beside yours.

“Oh!” your head craned to glance at her. “We will be meeting the new potential investors to our company later. I heard one of them is really good looking.” she giggles that made you smirk.

“You know its not always just by the looks, right?”

She rolled her eyes, “Easy for you to say because you have a gorgeous boyfriend!”

You laughed, “That is right.”

You joked around for a while before you’re asked to prepare for the arrival of the vip guests. Soon after, your head supervisor walks in and behind her are men wearing suits and tie. Looking like some young bachelors. Tall and handsome men.

As your eyes shifted to the last one who walks inside, your heart dropped. His familiar fair skin, charcoal black hair, noise pointy with a pretty mole at the side of it, eyes blank surrounded with thick and pretty eyelashes, topping it with his thick eyebrows that makes his skin color glow even more. His lips naturally red and luscious. Your knees weakened at the sight and heart started to race.

“Oh my god, Y/n!” she whispered beside you and even wiggled a little like as if she was got electicuted.

“He's so handsome!”

Oh hell yes he is. And your eyes watered at the sight of him. The familiar feeling of longing occupies your whole system. Park Sunghoon stood there looking so breathtaking. You missed everything in him and you hate how he looked so okay.

He unconsciously roamed his eyes around and accidentally met yours. It grew slightly, clearly not expecting seeing you. His lips parted a bit and didn’t glanced away.

“Y/n?” she snapped you out of your thoughts and you quickly teared your gaze away, feeling ashamed for staring too long. He probably saw you looking like a loser for being affected too much.

Sooner, they guided you inside to start the meeting and you kept on shifting from your seat. Having meeting like this is normal for you already, but now that you have your ex boyfriend sat at the other end of the table makes you really conscious.

“You okay?” your office mate might’ve noticed your weird demeanor so she looked concern.

You flashed her a shy smile and nodded then tried to focus on the person talking. But a minute after, your mind is drifting somewhere else once again. Even before you know it, your eyes shifts to where he was sat and to your surprise, he’s looking at you already.

You glanced away and cleared your throat. Embarrased that he caught you stealing glances at him.

When you couldn’t take it anymore, you turned over your supervisor and tried excusing yourself. Making up a lie that you’re not feeling well. She seemed to buy it and asked you to take a rest. Without wasting anytime, you stood up and politely excused yourself from the meeting.

A few steps out from the conference room and you heard it opened again. You ignored it and tried calming yourself, but the memory of Sunghoon’s eyes flashed before your eyes. Your eyes got teary. Seeing him just awoke your sleeping feelings for him that you tried to bury deep inside your heart.

“Y/n.” and a hand halted you from making another step.

You glanced at the person who stopped you and your heart thumped even faster. His brows narrowed and eyes looked concern.

“Are you okay? Why did you leave the meeting?” his tone sounded so soft and it makes you want to cry on the spot.

Now that you’re face to face and this close to each other, you can see how much he grown. He slightly changed. Good change, mostly. He looked even more mature and manly. His familiar manly scent invaded your nose that draws in so many memories of you two.

“Y-Yes,” and you flashed him a fake smile. “How are you, Sunghoon? It’s b-been a while.”

His shoulder relaxed after hearing that you’re okay. His eyes dropped to his hand holding your arm and slowly, he lets go of it.

“I’m good.” he responded briefly before roaming his eyes on your face. His heart aches.

“It looks like you’ve been doing well.” there's a hint of sadness looming over his tone, but you tried to ignore it thinking that you’re just mishearing it.

“Yeah.”

“Good to know.” it sounded a little sarcastic.

“Why are you here? Did you stop playing with your band?” the question you wanted to ask so bad. It was odd enough to see him here and much weirder because you know how much he hates wearing suit and ties. Tho you must admit that he looks so good on it.

He smirks, bitterness over his eyes.

“I still do, but not as often as before.”

“Ohh,” you sounded sad because you are. You know how much he loves doing that.

You’re about to say something else when your phone rang. You fished it from your pocket and when you saw your boyfriend’s caller id, you felt like someone slapped you back to reality. You want to hurt yourself for starting to act crazy once again just after seeing your ex boyfriend.

When you glance back at him, you saw his eyes darted at your phone with a cold expression on his face. You gulped, feeling nervous before you answered it.

“Baby!” the cheerfulness over Jake’s voice spreads guilt on your chest pretty fast. A tsunami on the shore, coming unexpected.

“H-hey, babe.” you murmured and steal a glance over at Sunghoon.

His expression fell cold as he straighten his back, not leaning anymore so he can slightly match your height. His hands slid inside his pocket as he stared at you intensely. His eyes are piercing right at you, like a cop catching you red-handed. To why he is still standing there and not leaving is slightly a mystery for you.

“Hi sweetheart. I called just to remind you about later tonight.” he says, accent coming a little strong.

Now you’re attention had been snatched away from the beautiful man standing right in front of you. With a confused face, you wondered what he is talking about. Trying to remember if you missed any plans he had made for the two of you tonight.

“T-Tonight? What’s up tonight?” and you slightly turned away from Sunghoon for some privacy. But you can still feel his heated gaze, burning holes at the back of your head.

“Don’t tell me you forgot?” he asks, slightly taunting. You didn’t respond and just wait for him to reveal about it.

“We’re having dinner at your parents tonight, baby.”

You draws in a sigh and hand raised to massage your temple.

“Oh, that was today.”

He chuckles, “Yes. Don’t worry, I got your Mom’s favorite flower and your Dad’s wine.”

You bit your lower lip for another perfect boyfriend scenario he just pulled.

“Thank you, babe. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Hmm, i love you.”

You stood cold on your feet. The words are at your tongue, you just have to say it but for some reasons, something’s stopping you.

“Babe?” Jake’s voice snapped you back to reality and you cleared your throat then chuckles.

“S-Sorry, spaced out a little. I l-love you too, Jake. See you later.”

He chuckles, “Okay, cutie. Have a nice day.” and then he ended the call.

The silence and heavy atmosphere enveloping you and Sunghoon are undescribable. You’ve never had something like this with him. Even during your biggest fights, its never been like this.

Slowly, you glanced at him and his eyes looked cold. For a brief moment, it seemed like you saw sadness on it but when he saw you looking he switched it right in. His jaw clenches as he stares right at you, like waiting for you to say something to him.

“U-Uhm, nice seeing you again. See y-you around, Sunghoon.” and you turn your heels, ready to leave him when he said something.

“So it was that easy for you to find someone else, huh? Glad to finally know it.” his words are filled with nothing but slight anger and bitterness.

“Excuse me?” you whipped your head to look at him with furrowed brows.

“You left me and find someone new. It was easy for you.”

“You. Made. Me. Leave. You.” each words was emphasize so you can make your point.

“And what do you know about what I feel? It was not easy for me!” your tone raised because of how he just made you upset with what he said.

“Doesn’t seem like it for me.”

You thought he changed, but clearly he didn’t. You are dumb enough to be shaken by him.

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now.” and you turned around, having the firm decision of leaving and getting him out of your sight.

Two steps and he managed to grab your wrist once again. He sighs, heavy sighs.

“O-Okay, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.” he licked his lips and gently made you face his way.

When he saw through your eyes how he hurt you again with his words, he almost want to hit himself. He already knew what went wrong before. How he fucking messed everything up. How selfish he is. And he doesn't want to repeat the same mistakes once again.

He was always someone whose hard to read. Yes, you are one of the very few people who can understand him right away, who can read through him from time to time and definitely one of the top people who can deal with his shits. Sunghoon’s not really good at showing how he cares to people. He have his own ways of showing them, and he thought that was enough. But he was wrong.

Sunghoon loves you. He loves you so much that he changed a lot ever since you left. He changes his way of thinking and even exerted effort to become someone better for you. It's such a shame that it took him to lose you to realize things.

The thing is no matter how confident he is to a lot of things back then, a part of him was secretly insecure. Insecurities that built up through the journey of having you as his partner. You’re a wonderful person and he always think that he was very lucky to have you. And so the insecurity and fear of losing you gets the best of him.

Being someone whose not expressive and overthinks a lot isn’t a very good combo. Makes him do a lot of stupid things that hurts you so much. He was so regretful of those times and if he can do anything just to go back to fix everything, he will. But he can’t go back. There’s no such thing as time machine.

What he can do is try. Try to make you feel how sorry he was. Try to make you see a different him, a better version of him. The better version that he strive to be just for you. And try to make you feel how much he loves you.

“I’m really sorry for what I did back then.” he started and licked his lips. He kept sighing heavily to ease his nervous feelings, calming his racing heart.

He had rehearsed the words he wants to tell you once he saw you again, but they all became pointless as his mind went blank just by having you standing in front of him.

“Not just the last night we are together,” he felt his heart break by the mention of it. One of the nights he regretted the most. “but I’m sorry for everything. I was so dumb to realize things much faster. I was an idiot for not treating you better.” he licked his lips and stared right to your eyes.

“I love you, y/n. I still do.” the tears pooling your eyes starts to stream down your face.

“The same type of love I feel for you back then. I love you so much that it hurts. It didn’t change at all. It was always you for me.”

Right now, you felt like your heart is being squeezed so hard. These words you wanted to hear from him back then are finally happening. But things are a lot more complicated as it is. Jake’s face flashes through your mind and you can’t take hurting him.

And also because you still feel so hurt he didn’t do anything just to make you stay. Why now? Why now when you’re a little okay already?

Your lips trembles as you open them to speak.

“You know if you only went after me that night, I would’ve stayed. I would not leave you.” you says in your low voice.

His eyes softens and tighten his grip on you. Your eyes dropped at his hand and it took everything in you to unclasp his hold.

“I’m sorry, Sunghoon. A lot of things changed already, but,” your words halted. ‘But I still love you.’ were the words you wanted to say.

You shut your eyes and opens them, trying to hide your real feelings for him.

“I do kind of wish you tried to fix it after we ended. I waited for you.”

You saw him broke and it was so much harder for you. To see him like this is your weakness. You’ve always had a soft spot for him and it will always remain like that.

“Y/n I—” he was cut off when the conference room’s door bursts open.

You quickly wiped off your tears. Thankfully, Sunghoon’s built was enough to cover you from whoever that is.

“I have to go. Good bye.” and without sparing him another glance, you stormed out of the scene. Leaving the place. Leaving Sunghoon and leaving your heart with him.

The encounter with your ex boyfriend just made you disoriented. You spaced out most of the day and you’re thankful that the people in your workplace just thought you are not feeling well. They didn’t asked much about it and just gives you space.

When Jake came to pick you up, you felt so much worse. His sweet smiles makes you so guilty. It felt so bad. You feel horrible for still having feelings for your ex when he was there with you. Treating you good like how you wanted.

“Jake! My boy!” your Dad’s cheerful voice errupted the whole room as he went to give him a hug.

You watch how he connected with your parents and it made you think about the times with Sunghoon. They’ve never been like that towards him. Your mother’s a little nicer than your Dad, but she never really tries to know Sunghoon as he is a little intimidating for her. That’s what she said.

Your Dad on the other hand just flat out shut his doors for him. After knowing what he does, he straight up dislikes him without even trying to get to know him more.

It made you feel bad for Sunghoon. Just by thinking of how would he react if he saw this scene of your parents warmly welcoming Jake to your home will hurt him like hell. And that’s what you did to him before. You kept on forcing him into this when you knew it was a low case already. You kept rubbing salt to the open wounds your parents had created to him.

“Honey, you all right?” your Mom took notice of your silence. The two guys looked at your way with concerns in their eyes.

You quickly pulled a small smile for them.

“I just don’t feel so well today, Mom.” she coos and cupped your face.

“Oh my cupcake. Let’s go eat already, I’m sure it will be gone once you have your favorite soup.” and she even gave you a hug.

Your Dad caress your arms and asked you two to follow them so you can start eating dinner already. Jake’s hands settles on the small of your back, eyes looking at you with so much concern.

“You okay, baby?”

You nodded with a small smile before he guided you towards the dining area. The dinner started and the three of them were the ones talking most of the time. You tries to join and forcedly laugh from time to time while eating so little. Just to avoid suspicion from them.

“I’m really glad you found Jake, y/n! He’s such a great match for you. Unlike that boy...” the scowl on his face appears for the first time tonight.

Your smile falters and you quickly fell on a foul mood. Your father always hated him. He never saw his efforts.

You lowered your head, doesn’t really want to hear more about it.

“He has a thick face for showing up here in our home multiple times months ago to look for y/n!” he added, sounding so upset about it.

Your hand halted from playing with your food after his words slowly sink into your system. You lift your head and stared at your Dad with furrowed brows.

“Sunghoon went here? When?” you asked in a speed of light. Doesn’t want them to bury this topic.

Your Mom and Jake was surprised to how you reacted.

“A week after you left his sorry ass. You know I was so pissed at him for coming back over and over again even after I told him you don’t want him anymore and that he should just leave you alone. You are better off without him. Maybe he is really just that stupid—”

“Why didn’t you told me this before?” your tone sounded so accusing. The look of betrayal on your eyes burns towards your Father.

“I don’t see the need of mentioning that to you. He’s already out of the picture. I really hate that boy. He’s bad for you. I never understand why you loved someone like him?”

“You never really tried to get to know him so how would you understand?”

“Pardon?” your Father’s expression looked offended by how you said the last sentence.

You stood up abruptly, making a dragging sound from your chair. They all looked at you with confusion on their faces.

“I should’ve known you can do something like that, Dad. I should’ve known Sunghoon will come here to look for me despite knowing that he will get nothing but mistreatment. I should’ve known.” you started marching out from the room and you can hear Jake calling out for you, but you couldn’t care more.

All you can think of was how hard must it been for Sunghoon. Now all his words from a while ago hits you differently. The way his eyes flashes sadness and how he looked so broken just made your heart crack into a million pieces.

He maybe a mess, but he is your mess. He is your person, your other half.

“Y/n hold on,” your steps halted right when you are at the front porch of your house.

Jake went after you and when you saw how scared his eyes and how he looked so broken, it hurts you. But you knew it will just break him more if you continue being with him when your heart clearly belongs to someone else.

“Where are you going?” he asks, even if he knew the answer already.

“I’m really sorry Jake. I love you, really.” you licked your lips and tears pooled the corner of your eyes.

“But I still love him. It’s still him.”

You’ve never seen Jake like this before. You are so used at seeing him smile that seeing him this broken, hurts you so much.

“Are you serious? No...” he chuckles with no humor, blinking rapidly to push those tears back inside his eyes.

“I’m sorry, Jake. You deserve someone who will love you with all their heart and that person is not me.” and you removed his hand from your arm.

A tear left his eyes, but you turned away. You are being selfish again and choosing what will make you truly happy.

After calling a cab, you told the driver the address of your old apartment you shared with Sunghoon. Hoping that he’s still staying in that place, otherwise you will have to go ask his friends.

On the way to him, you realized a lot of things. You realized his little efforts that kept you going through the relationship. You started seeing how he’s imperfectly perfect for you. That despite his flaws, he’s always been the only one who loves you genuinely. The person who will love you even if you fail. The person who you can show your vulnerable side and still think you’re the most wonderful person.

You went out of the cab and just right in time, the rain poured. It reminded you that same night where you ended things with Sunghoon. Starting to get drenched, you walked towards the apartment building that you used to stay in with him. The same apartment that holds so much memories.

On the other hand, inside the apartment, Sunghoon’s brows were hardly furrowed while he head over his door after hearing a doorbell. He's a little confuse as he expects nobody for tonight.

He opens it and quickly, the annoyed expression over his face was replaced with a surprised one.

“Y/n?” he uttered seeing you standing in front of his unit, all drenched.

Your eyes softens at the sight of him. Seeing him in his white plain shirt and black shorts that he always use to wear whenever you two stays inside. You felt so happy seeing him. Your mouth opens to say something but eyes shifted at the back of him.

The relief you felt washes away at the sight of a girl coming out from the comfort room.

“Who is it, oppa?” she asked and you felt so dumb.

You are stoned at your position for a while before starting to step away. You probably looked like a freaking loser being all drenched and crashing to his apartment. Your heart broke again if its possible as it was already broken, then you cleared your throat. Tears streaming nonstop.

“I-I’m sorry. I should’ve not come here...” and you stormed off.

You heard him calling out for you, but you didn’t stop. Trying to save some dignity left in you. The rain is still pouring hard when you arrived outside but you didn’t care. You walked like a lifeless being with no direction to go to. People stared, but you just ignored them. You are hurting so bad and you wished that the rain will wash it away.

“Y/n!” a scream halt your step.

His familiar voice echoes inside your mind and you heard rummaging steps approaching you. You wanted to run and save a face, but you didn’t. Your heart felt so heavy.

Two shoes came into your view and slowly you lift your head up. Sunghoon’s starting to get drenched by the rain too, but like you he seems to not care. His chest rises up and down, trying to catch his breath after running after you. He’s wearing a jacket now on top of his white t-shirt which is useless as its slowly getting wet as well.

You looked at him with broken stares.

“Why are you here?” he asks, hoping that you came here to tell him that you want him back. That you want him as much as he wants you.

Your lips tremble and hot tears brimmed your eyes. It made it a little harder to see his face clearly because of the rain, but you tried hard. Sunghoon notices and stepped closer, head slightly covering your face from the pouring rain as he stares down on you.

“I c-came to tell you that a lot of things already changed,” you started and tried to push away your pride. This time, you wanted to do it right.

“but my feelings for you remained the same. I love you, Sunghoon. I love you so much that my heart felt like it stopped beating when I left you. I love you so much that I knew I will never be the same again after we broke up. I love you so much that I ended things with Jake just so I can be happy again. It’s making me lose my mind, making me act insane. And that’s the way I love you.”

Sunghoon licked his lower lip and the rain was cold, but his heart was warm. God, how he missed feeling this way.

“And I know I hurt you before. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry for leaving that night and for thinking you didn’t try to fix it. I’m really sorry—” your words were cut off when he smashed his lips on yous.

Your hand reached over his clothes, holding it tightly for support system. His kisses started aggressive, like he wanted to do that for so long. Like he’s been deprived of it. The kiss lasted for a while until he leans away to catch his breath, you followed his lips for a few more pecks then his forehead rests on yours.

He cupped your face, warming it using his warm hands. While staring at his eyes, your loving gaze suddenly changed with a glaring eyes.

“What?”

“Who’s that girl at your apartment?” your question are like an interogation.

He smirks and chuckles. He even tries to kiss you, but you leaned away making him whine a little.

“She’s my cousin. She stayed overnight at our apartment after going out with her friends. She’s about to leave now.” you quickly melt when he addressed the apartment as yours and his.

You pout and calmed down. He chuckles and made your noses touch, staring at your eyes loving.

“I love you.” he says, placing another hot kiss on your lips. Your heart aches, but this time in a good way. You felt like you are finally where you should be. Inside his arms.

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[cowboybarzy]

you’re losing me — mat barzal

ok so I definitely impulse wrote this after listening to the song one too many times! (still listening to it, still sobbing about it) definitely check it out although it may be a bit hard to find haha taylor pls just release it

spoiler: this is a HEA bc I am incapable of writing/reading sad endings. my life sucks enough, my fictional world doesn’t need to either lol so not all aspects of the song are used/it’s not exactly the same as the song, it’s just inspired by it

word count: 3.9k warning: angsty, with hea

"I need a break."

"From what?"

"Us."

—————————

When you started dating your boyfriend Mat seven years ago you thought you were going to get married. Even with his busy schedule he was the most attentive, caring, and loving boyfriend you could have ever dreamed of. When he moved to New York, of course you were extremely happy for him. Playing in the NHL had been his dream since he was a kid, so you were very supportive, but you couldn't help but feel heartbroken over him moving across the country and leaving you. But ever since the day he landed in the city, he begged you to come live with him and eventually he convinced you. You transferred university to one in New York, lived in the dorms for a couple of years until Mat and you got an apartment together. You finished your undergraduate degree, then started and finished your masters. Mat had always been just as supportive of you as you of him. He made living away from your family easy. He made living easy. Date nights in all shapes and forms, luxurious vacations, and just him making you happy with all of his little quirks. Your relationship was something straight out of a movie. It was perfect. Until it wasn't.

You don't know when things began to change in your relationship, nothing really caused it, but one day you started feeling unhappy. Mat changed. Or maybe you did. But you weren't the same two people you once were. When you came home from work, you got a 'hello' and a kiss but the passion behind his eyes were gone. He barely asked you about your day anymore or told you about his. Just enough before you fell back into silence. You didn't used to mind the silence. Sitting comfortably in silence was a sign you truly felt at peace with a person, but when the silence got uncomfortable for you, you knew something was wrong. The amount of times you two went out alone decreased to the point where you could count on one hand the amount of dates you had been on in the past two months.

He just stopped making an effort and any effort you put into the relationship was rejected or gone unnoticed. Like making him dinner or doing his laundry and him not at least thanking you for it.

His love language was most definitely touch, but even that had slipped away day after day. He kissed you in the mornings, at night, and when either of you got home, but the spontaneous make out sessions or random quickies throughout the day were basically nonexistent anymore. You had sex after his games or when he got home from a roadie, but somehow that had started to feel like an effort.

You missed the old Mat that always had some part of his body touching yours. At dinner, sitting next to each other, he usually intertwined his pinky with yours, only breaking to use his knife. Or he always held your hand or had an arms wrapped around you when you were out of the house, like he was afraid to lose you. That stopped and now you were the one afraid that you had lost him.

You had just gotten too comfortable with each other. You knew each other so well you could anticipate what the other would say or feel that you didn't need to tell each other anymore. You still wanted to that, you were still interested in what he had to say, in hearing his voice, but after countless efforts being rejected, it was easier to say nothing.

The worst part was that you couldn't even blame his schedule and just wait for the season to end. It hadn't changed. You had made it work that past few years before, even with you being busy with school, so why now? You were starting to question your self worth, because what else could it be?

The last few months had been hell for you, silently and lonely suffering. Because every time you brought up the subject of your relationship, he said everything was fine and that we'd just hit a little rut that would resolve itself.

You wanted to believe him so badly. You wanted to believe that everything would be okay. You didn't want to throw the last seven years away. You had worked so hard to be here. You had experienced so much together, made so many memories. Was it really worth throwing it all away?

But you were sick of waiting for it to stop. Sick of your efforts being lost. Sick of Mat not seeming to care. You hit your breaking point.

And that's how you found yourself on the verge of tears standing in front of Mat in your kitchen in which you had made so many beautiful memories. "I just can't sit around waiting for you do something anymore. I gave you so many chances for you to do something, say something, risk something for me, but you did nothing. You're losing me, Mat, you don't even seem to care."

He blinked. A blank expression on his face. Just like the last few months. Some part of you wasn't surprised, the other ripped your heart into shreds.

"I just– I need a break."

"From what?," he finally asked, already knowing the answer.

"From us." A tiny, very tiny, weight lifted off you when you said it out loud. You had been wanted to say it for months and although you weren't happy about the situation, you were proud of yourself that you did. "I'm going back to Seattle for a few months. I just need space from you right now."

"When? For how long?" That's probably the most he'd asked about you in a while.

"I haven't booked a flight yet, but probably tomorrow." He nodded, pressing his lips together. "At least until the end of your season. Until you have some free time to figure out if you still love me or not." You lips were shaking, tears threatening to flow freely. You didn't want to say it, but a part of you felt bitter.

"(Y/n)–"

"No!," you stopped him. You couldn't hear it. "If you tell me you love me right now I'll stay. And this wasn't an easy decision but a necessary one. I'm weak for you, Mat. I'd do anything for you, but I don't feel that from you. So, please, just stop. I made up my mind. This has to happen. Maybe in a few months we can work it out, but right now I need space."

He gave you another nod then turned around and left. You heard him rustling around in your bedroom and a few minutes later your front door slammed shut. He was gone. A part of you was angry at him for not putting up a fight, but then again you had asked him not to. But just once, you wanted him not to listen to you and tell and show you how he felt. You guessed you had your answer.

The next few months were rough for you. A different kind than the few months before, but still difficult. You missed Mat terribly. Countless of times you came close to booking a flight back home to New York and burying your face in his chest. But it wasn't your turn this time. He had to fight for you.

But you missed him nonetheless. You had almost called him when Anthony got traded just a couple weeks after you left, but you didn't. Then again when not shortly after he got hurt in a game against Boston. You wanted, but you didn't. Not until he did. But he never did.

It took a while, but you started to be able to breath again. You got a small job at a café, since you took a leave of absence from your big girl job in New York and still needed some money. You made some new friends, most of your old ones having moved away or gotten too out of touch with, and developed a new daily routine. You started feeling better, but the whole inside you was reserved for only Mat to fix and would probably take years to mend if he didn't make a move soon.

Weeks, then months went by and not a single word from Mat. You couldn't even see him on TV for his games (which you still watched) since he was injured and his social media was a bust too. Your friends and his teammates (also your friends) checked in every once in a while, asking how you were and telling you how miserable Mat was. But unless you saw that for yourself, you couldn't really believe it.

Then, by some miracle the Islanders made it to the playoffs and Mat was scheduled to be back to playing. You tuned in, but almost had to turn it back off when you saw his face. His beautiful face that you loved to kiss and touch and simply just look at. Now though, it was riddled with frown marks, dark under eye circles and his unshaven scruff that took you years to like. He fought more on the ice, too. He rarely took penalties for righting but during these next few games he collected them like trophies. He was short and snippy in his post game interviews, again, something usually unlike him. He was miserable, you could tell. But then why had he not made an effort to get you back? Had you pushed him too far away when you left him? Was that the wrong thing to do?

You fought with yourself day and night. You wanted to go back to him and fight for him, but then you remembered that you did. You did fight for him countless of times. In your head you used to screamed at him to do something, say something, risk something, but he never did. So stayed put, waiting for his season to end and see what he would do.

A couple weeks later, your parents were out for dinner, you were home watching a movie with a big glass of wine when the doorbell rang. You didn't feel like answering, but who rang the doorbell after six pm? Your ex boyfriend who just showed up without a warning from across the country did. Or current boyfriend?

He stood there, outside your door with his grown out hair, unshaven beard, and sad look on his face. You started at him, processing. He was here.

"Mat? What–"

"No! It's my turn to talk now! (Y/n), you left. You just fucking left me without a warning." When you opened your mouth to protest, he held up his hand silencing you. "I know, I probably should have seen it coming, but you left! That hurt like hell."

He rubbed his face with his hands, also combing through his hairs before he went on. "I don't know what happened. I swear. I felt something change, yeah, but I just got comfortable. I didn't fall out of love with you. Never. And I'm sorry. I just assumed you felt the same and I shouldn't have. I should have checked in more. I'm sorry for taking for granted what I had. You. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I totally understand if you're done with me, because no one should take you for granted. (Y/n), I love you and the way you care for people, for me. You light up any room you walk in, you make everyone smile, you're– god, you're so so beautiful."

He took a deep breath, fighting his tears. You had given up holding them back pretty much the second you opened the door. "What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry. I've been such a jerk and I realize that and take full responsibility. These past few months have been hell for me without you there. Our apartment feels so cold without you. But it gave me some time to think about everything I fucked up and everything I will do better if you're willing to take me back. Please take me back, (y/n), I don't know how to live without you." He shook his head and tears away, collecting himself. "No, wait. I came here to apologize and give you time to decide whether you'll forgive me. The 'I want you back' speech will come later. If you'll hear it."

You were speechless. All these months, even before you left, that's what you had been hoping and begging for to hear. Why couldn't you speak? Or move?

Moments passed with the two of you just staring at each other. Mat hesitated to say more, but he couldn't read your face. Did you want to hear more or slap him in the face and tell him to leave? "Alright, uhm, I'm gonna go. Don't really know where, but I'm sure there's a hotel open around here." He got ahold of the suitcase next to him. "Uhm. I guess, text me? Or call? Whenever you're ready."

He waited a few more seconds for you to move, but when you didn't he slowly turned around and walked out of your driveway. Seeing his back turned, him walking away from you again when he had just come back made you snap out of it. "Maty!"

You sobbed running up to him and into his arms that had opened for you the second you yelled his name. You buried your face in the crook of his shoulder, inhaling his scent while you clung to him. He held onto you just as desperately. His hand I'm your hair at the back of your head, the other around your waist holding you tight to his body. You felt like home again after months and months of searching for it. You heart expanded and pounded swiftly for him and him alone.

"Fuck, baby, I missed you so much." He had let you down, but now both of his hands held your cheeks as he looked at you. He dropped his forehead against yours. "I'm so sorry."

You weren't ready to forgive him just yet, but you were so ready for him to kiss you. "Kiss me." And boy, did he. His mouth attacked yours with that intoxicating passion you had missed so much. Your tongues danced their dance without a hitch as he claimed you as his again.

You must have stood out there for minutes before breaking apart and coming up for air. You pulled him into the house, you had given your neighbors enough of a show. You settled on the couch, but put a pillow in between the two of you so you could talk things out before you did something you'd regret. That didn't stop him though from reaching his hand out to you. First, he took your hand then let it wander up to your face. "Come back home with me," he whispered. His sad green eyes were begging, too, a look that was very hard to resist.

"I want to," you whispered back, your voice starting to shake with emotion again. "But I can't just go back like nothing happened. Mat, those few months were extremely painful for me, I can't just ignore that. I'm so happy you realized it now, but I need to see some action. Your words, as happy as I am to hear them, aren't going to fix it alone."

He nodded, then dropped his forehead against yours. "I'm sorry. I'll fix this. I promise."

"We'll fix this. I don't want to throw us away, I want to work on this, but we need to do it slowly."

He nodded again and brushed his lips against your nose. "I have to go back to New York tomorrow. I have a few meetings and exit interviews and stuff, but after that I can come back here or you come back and I'll live with Wally or something for a while so we can work on this."

You nodded and threw the pillow separating you to the floor. You'll hash out the details later, but right now you just needed his big, warm hug. You sat like this for hours, not saying much, just enjoying each others company after you had been away from each other for so long.

The next day, he really did leave to go back to New York but he came back just a few days later. He stayed at a hotel, which did feel weird, but it was for the best. You needed to trust him again and doing it slowly would result in the best outcome. You spent a few hours together every day, catching up and talking about your plans to rebuild your relationship. At the end of the day, he'd bring you home and kiss you for a few minutes, then leave. Every time you wanted to run after him and go with him, but you could already feel the hole in your heart fixing itself, so you didn't and just trusted the process.

The day you told him you were ready to come back to New York was one you'd never forget. He spun you around in the middle of the park you had decided to have lunch at and kissed you like nobody was watching. It felt good, like the beginning again.

You celebrated his birthday a few days later and the day after he left to go visit his family in Vancouver for a few days while you tied up some loose ends here in Seattle. You'd meet back in New York in your apartment.

After an exhausting cross country flight, you were surprised Mat had sent an Uber to pick you from the airport instead of picking you up himself. But when you finally walked through your apartment door and the lights were off except for a few lamps and candles that you had carefully collected over the last few years, you knew why.

Mat, dressed nicely, stood in the middle of your living room surrounded by flowers and lit candles. Little Polaroids and pictures of the two of you were laying across the floor and furniture as well. You approached him slowly, taking his outstretched hand until you stood directly in front of him. His other hand slid into his pants pocket and pulled out a small red velvet box.

"I promise I'm not doing this out of desperation to get you back. I've had this ring since last year. I've been thinking about doing this for a long time. I've just been waiting for the right moment. I didn't want to propose during the season because I wanted to celebrate and do it right. And I had planned on taking you to Africa or the Maldives or somewhere more fun than our apartment but, you know... And I can't wait any longer." He smiled, then chuckled. "But, I'll still take you wherever you want to go."

"Maldives sound good." Why that was the only thing you were answering to you weren't sure, but with a chuckle he kept going.

"Good. And that probably also means you're not going to say no to my next question, but I'll ask anyway." He lowered down in front you onto one knee with his hand still holding onto your left. "(Y/n), for the past seven years, there is not one second that I haven't loved you. I know I haven't always shown that, but I promise you that won't happen again. You are the most important thing in the world to me and I promise there won't be another day where you will question that ever again. There's no one else I want to spend the rest of my life with. It's you, babe, it's always been you. Will you marry me?"

You dropped down to your knees and grabbed his face to kiss him. "Yes," you repeated over and over again between kisses that tasted salty due to the tears running down your face. He got emotional, too, when he finally slid the ring on your finger. It was exactly the one you wanted and had dreamed of getting your entire life. It was perfect and so was he.

And he did keep his promise. Now and every single day there after.

*******

a few years later

"... the end."

"Again!"

"No, it's bed time now, honey."

"No! No sleep! One more book." Your three year old son jumped from your lap and dove towards the bookshelf to pick out another book to read. You checked your phone to see if your husband would be home any minute and in fact he would be, so you agreed to one more book.

"There you guys are." The door opened and Mat walked in with a big smile on his face.

"Daddy!" Your son, again, jumped from your lap into his fathers arms.

"Hi, buddy. I missed you." They hugged dramatically while your son told him all about his morning. Mat eventually put him down and took the couple steps need to get to you.

"Hi, princess. I missed you, too." He picked up your almost one year old daughter, who was also sitting in your lap, and hugged and kissed just as dramatically as he did with your son. Her sleepy eyes lit up with excitement and she filled the room with adorable baby giggles.

"What about me?," you pouted as you stood up.

"You have no idea." His arm wrapped around your shoulder and his lips gently touched yours, but with two children demanding your attention, the kiss was kept short.

You all hung out in the room for a bit, catching up on what Mat had missed while he was away for the last few days on his hockey road trip. Then you put your kids to bed, although putting an exited toddler to bed was no easy task, but eventually he did fall asleep.

"Hi," Mat whispered after you finally closed your sons bedroom door. You turned to face him and his messy hair made you smile. He aged like fine wine and you were thankful every day that he was yours.

"Hey." His hands took ahold of you and slowly pushed you against the hallway wall.

"I missed you," he whispered against your lips before claiming them. His hands roamed your body to find all the places to squeeze and touch while shoving his tongue in your mouth for an amazing kiss. How he went from fun goofy dad to horny teenage in a matter of seconds, you didn't understand, but you also didn't mind.

"Mat, not now. It's the middle of the afternoon," you said between kisses when you could tell this was going to be more than just a make out session.

"So?" He sucked on and kissed your neck. Yeah, what was the problem?

"So? They're both asleep. Hurry up and take me to bed." He didn't need to be told twice and a second later you were up in his arms and enjoying some much needed adult time.

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

On thin ice (Hockey player! Miguel O’Hara x Figure skater! Fem! Reader)

A/N: has it been less then 24 hours? Yes. Am I still gonna upload this? Yes. Hehe. Don’t wanna spoil anything but y’all will enjoy the chapter. Haven’t been proofread so excuse any typos or grammar mistakes. Miguel might be ooc. Also I’ll probably take a day or 2 off from posting after this lol.

(Y/N)- Your name.

Cursing. Not anything else lol.

Word count: 1.5k

Series Masterlist

Chapter 8: ‘Cause there’s this tune I found, that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat.

—

“Again.”

…

“Again.”

…

“Again. I’ll have you two keep going until you both freeze your limbs off, or you two are fully in sync. Again.”

Letting out an exhausted sigh, but following coach Kavinsky’s orders, you and Logan quickly got into the starting positions for the swan lake program you were doing for regionals, it’s the only thing you two have been practicing (apart from the usual stuff you went over every practice) since regionals were so close, deciding since it was the longer, more difficult program, it needed more fine tuning then the short one program you had to do. Lucky you had already perfected the short program, you and Logan were going to do a routine to Mia’s & Sebastian’s Theme from La La Land for the short program, and obviously you two practiced it everyday as well, but a majority of practice was focused on the Swan Lake routine.

“We’re gonna die here.” Logan whispered to you as you both skated into starting positions, partly joking, partly serious. You attempt to suppress a snort, knowing if you let it out while coach Kavinsky was getting irritated from your session today then she might as well cut your head off with how angry she becomes. Once in position, the music starts and we begin the routine.

—

“Alright… that was an, improvement…” Coach mumbled as Logan and you hit the final marks, and although her words said one thing, her tone was obviously still not impressed. “Go take 20 for water and a breather.” She added with a sigh before walking away, you checked the time as you and Logan moved to the edge of the rink, putting your guards on before stepping off the ice.

“Ima go to the bathroom.” You say to Logan who just nodded in response before making your way to the girls locker room, after about 5 minutes, you came out and were making your way back down the hall. Right when you were about to turn the corner, you felt a hand grab your wrist and pulled you into a random, empty, dark dance room. You let out a yelp when you were pulled into the room, and you were preparing to scream in hopes someone will hear and get you away from the random person who pulled you into the room when you hear the click of the door lock, but stopped when the people turned on the lights. Your eyes narrowed as you spoke, voice dripping with venom. “You.”

“(Y/N).” He stared down at you, returning your tone as you two began a stare off. Your hands landing on your hips as his arms cross in front of his chest. After a few moments of silence, Miguel finally spoke. “We need to talk.” His voice was hard and his face was stern.

“Yeah, we do.” You quipped, your brows furrowed in annoyance, “but I only have 15 more minutes until my break is over, so we have to do this late-“

“No.” He interrupted, his arms dropped his side as he took a step closer to you, causing you to take one back, finding yourself against the door as you stared up at him, but other than taking the step back, your confidence didn’t waver. “We’re gonna talk right now.”

You let out an annoyed huff as you rolled your eyes, “Fine, let’s make this quick.” You grumble, “and I’ll go first, I just want to let you know, I hate you Miguel O’Hara, I despise you with every fiber of my being.” You declared, you had to hate him, why else would you feel your whole body heat up whenever you were around him. Especially when you two were in a locked room together, which was happening more often than you would like.

Miguel rolled his eyes at your words, his tongue pointed at the inside of his cheek as an annoyed smirk appeared on his lips, he let out a dry, unamused chuckle escaped his plump lips as he lightly shook his head. “God you are so insufficient.” He groaned, “ You think your words can hurt me? Because they can’t. You know why (Y/N)? Because I hate you too.” He finished as he took another step closer to you.

You scoffed at his words, your arms moving up to cross over your chest, “You’re a horrible liar.” You hissed, “if you hated me so much why did you try to kiss me at the party last week?” You asked, but your tone comes more off as you proving a point to him rather than asking a question.

“If you hate me so much why didn’t you stop me?” He countered, and even though his eyes and voice held irritation, you couldn’t help but notice it felt like he was… challenging you almost…. So of course, you wanted to see how far you could push it. You know what they said about curiosity, and right now, you were one curious kitty.

“If you hated me then why try it in the first place?” He took another step towards you as you asked the question, he was in arm’s reach now, and although him being this close, with his current demeanor would scare anyone else, but not you, for some reason, it excited you.

“Maybe I wanted to see if you’d do something about it, see if you’d let me have my way with you, or if you actually hate me.” He shrugged as he stared down at you, his eyes burning into yours, his tone calm and steady as he spoke. “I wanted to see if you’d stop me from kissing you, or if you wanted me to.”

“And if I did?” You asked, and for a few seconds, you felt like you fucked up by saying that sentence, his response though was what made your stomach drop.

“God… I hate you (Y/N)…”. He muttered quietly, and it seemed so genuine, so full of disgust that it made your heart ache. You opened your mouth to respond, but before you could utter a word, his hands quickly made their way to the back of your head and the nap of your neck, before pulling you into him, and slamming his lips against yours.

It almost didn’t feel real, it didn’t process in your head for a few seconds, but once your mind caught up, you melted into his touch. Your eyes fluttered shut and your hands went up to rest on his chest, slowly sliding up to go around his neck to deepen the kiss, a small moan escaped from your mouth as his hands started to travel down, stopping at your hips, his fingers squeezing them lightly before pulling pulling your body closer to his. Your head was swimming, your body hot all over, your knees felt weak, and your heart was pounding in your ears. He was so intoxicating. He’s lips, his touch, the was he groaned against your mouth as you brought your hands up to run your fingers through his dark brown hair. In that moment, you finally understand that the reason you felt like your body was on fire anytime you were around him wasn't because you hated or disliked him, you realized it was actually because you really did have some sort of misplaced feeling for him. After all, there is a very thin line between love and hate.

You felt like you could be like this forever, Miguel felt the same way, but, unfortunately, you were still human, so you found yourself pulling away to gasp for oxygen. Both your chest were heaving, Miguel’s pupils were blown, and you had to wipe some drool from the corner of your lips. A silence engulfed you too for a few seconds as you both attempt to catch your breath and slow down your heart rates. After a minute or two, Miguel’s lips pulled up into a smirk, and you internally groaned and forced yourself not to roll your eyes, because you knew he was gonna say some stupid shit to ruin the moment.

“Still hate me?” Oh. My. God. This time you let your eyes roll and the groan escape your lips, Miguel just chuckled at your reaction, before pulling you close once again and leaving a lingering kiss on your lips once more. But this time the kiss was different, unlike the last one, that was ruff and messy and full of lust. This kiss was more caring, more sweet, loving almost. This only made your heart burst more.

“I should go… my break is almost up…” you say in a low whisper as soon as he breaks the kiss, you’re faces still close together as you stare up at him. You’re words made his smile fall a bit.

“We should talk about-“ He started and you already knew what he was going to say before he had time to finish the sentence.

“We will.” You swiftly cut him off. “Just not right now okay?” You asked him, and after a second of hesitation, he sighs but begrudgingly nodded his head, and you noticed how he was nervously chewing on his bottom lip. “Cute…” You thought as felt your lips pull up into a small smile. “I’ll see you around.” You finished before unlocking the door and leaving the room to go back to the ice.

—

“What’s got you smiling so much?” Logan asked with a raised brow as you both stepped back on the ice.

“Nothing important.”

—

Taglist: @tayleighuh @cowboylikeevie @coralineyouareinterribledanger @jukioku @loser-alert @migueloharaspookiebear @serpentstarr @littlexscarletxwitch @darksidescorner @patchesofwork

[tequila-solar-storm]

NS/FW

CW mpreg, eggpreg

I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one who went A J A W E G G S after that line hahah

Thank you for painting such a delicious picture. I see your vision, I absolutely can't blame Kinich for not wanting to deal with a second Ajaw but what if they turn out to be a second Kinich and tag team against Ajaw lol that'll be somewhat cute haha.

Kinich developing a breeding kink because of ajaw will be hilarious. The saurian relic opened a new horizon for him and now he'll want even more from his partners. Dragonlord be damned!

I'm eating up the hc about his complicated relationship with the tribes cause you're SO right. And ngl I do wanna see what camp two is capable of! lol Trinidad is for sure one of the leading figures in there, he's such a hater HAHAH

Thanks for answering!! Very pleased to have found a space where I can feed my kinich brainrot xD take care author!

—🌻

Previous Post (Eggs)

Previous Post (Relationship with tribe)

Feel free to keep sending your brainrot my way! I love it!! You take care too, anon!! ❤️❤️❤️

Response under the cut! Spoilers for Kinich’s character stories and the Yupanqui's Turnfire Tribal Chronicles!

I wonder how Ajaw’s baby would look like 🤔 A direct copy of Ajaw? Pixel? Dragon? A mix of all three? Ajaw’s technically a projection now, which makes me doubt his real form is pixelated, so probably not pixels?

If Kinich somehow had a guarantee that the kid would turn out more like him than Ajaw, he’ll be jumping on that dragon dick without hesitation!

Imagine after a nice long fuck, his partner of the day casually asks him when did he develop his breeding kink? Kinich, being the blunt fucker he is, just goes ‘Ajaw’ and proceeds to give his partner a whiplash because whAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT IMPREGNATED BEFORE BY THE??? TINY PIXEL LIZARD?? HOW?? 🤣

Camp Two wanna fuck him so bad they look stupid!! They’re capable of SO many things, but unfortunately defeating Kinich isn’t one of them. His stamina is simply too good + he’s a raging masochist. So no amount of bullying can break his spirit! He thrives on it instead! Maybe that’s why he could get along (Somewhat) with Enjou/Sanka so well. It’s masochist on masochist communication HAHAHA

And of course, we can’t forget Trinidad! As much of a hater as he is, I don’t think he’ll actually do half of the terrible things Camp Two would. He’s still an elder of the tribe and a generally decent guy (I don’t like him denying Huni her dinner when he scolded her for lying/recklessness, but it’s pretty obvious he was struggling a LOT with grief during that time). Not only does he prioritise the tribe’s safety over tradition (I wanted to watch him argue more with Wayna 😩), Kinich himself says the tribe needs people like Trinidad, which emphasises that he’s an okay person!

If anything, he’ll denounce the other members of Camp Two, being like ‘don’t be disrespectful even if you don’t like him! Be the better person!’ and then turn around and guiltily wank to humiliating Kinich 😳 We also don’t know if he has a living spouse, but if he does, I’d love to imagine his partner being supportive in his desire to wreck Kinich. They’re usually monogamous but because Kinich is THAT annoying they decided to make an exception for him HAHAHAHAHA

If they’re going to do it, Kinich’s going to have to be the one initiating. Once he’s serving himself up on a silver platter, though, there’s no way in hell Trinidad will be able to resist. That’s when all the nasty stuff will come out!! The most tame it’ll be is Trinidad aggressively fucking his mouth so he can’t talk back, scolding him with stuff like ‘Not only are you some Mora-obsessed degenerate, you’re also a loose slut! You can’t be further from a hero!’ While Kinich’s just. Super turned on plus super amused at how mad Trinidad is! The more aggressive end of their sessions can get highly physical, with scratching, biting, slapping etc.

Now I can’t get the mental image out of my head: Trinidad sitting on the edge of a bed, face in his hands, dying of guilt/horror/denial/shock at just having the most mindblowing sex with someone he hates. Post nut clarity in its finest. Meanwhile, Kinich’s staring impassively at Trinidad’s naked, scratched-up back planning to goad the elder into fucking him again 🤣

What would their ship name be actually. Trinich? Trikinich??

[perpetualproductions]

Im not sure if you already wrote this but can we get Jordan taking care of marie

(Am a big fan of your work)

Omg, yes. Say less. I haven't done this yet, so I will gladly write this, lol. (Thanks!!)

--

As You Wish

- Jordan Li takes care of Marie Moreau.

- Marie's not used to that

2k words (;-;)

If there's one thing Marie Moreau hates, it's being sick. The coughing, the body aches, the constantly stuffy/runny nose, all of it. The most annoying part of it all was how much of an inconvenience being sick was. Marie didn't have time to be sick. She had things to do, classes to pass, a superhero to become, and you can't do all of that if you're sick. So to say she was a bit annoyed to wake up feeling like utter death, would be an understatement.

Marie has always been stubbornly independent. Even when she was a kid, she always insisted she could take care of herself, (though she'd always fold when her mother made her favorite soup and cuddled up with her to watch some of her favorite movies). Sure, now she was sort of forced into it, but at this point it was second nature for her. She didn't need help, she could take care of herself just fine and a measly flu wasn't gonna change that. Marie tried to convince Emma (and herself) that she was fine enough to sit in a classroom, but her body betrayed her pretty quickly when she could barely pull herself out of bed. Emma promised to bring her some soup at the end of the day, then bolted out to avoid contamination. Apparently Emma was a bit of a germaphobe. Though Marie couldn't blame her after she'd already gone through a whole box of tissues just that morning.

-

At first Jordan didn't really think much of Marie's absence. Though they definitely noticed it. They were both in a weird, unclear, place in their relationship. Jordan wasn't even sure if they could refer to it as a relationship. Just a few months ago they couldn't stand her presence, then, she somehow wormed her way into their friend group with her big brown eyes and radiant smile. That's when they realized they had a stupid crush on the freshman, and Jordan being Jordan dealt with that by constantly arguing and pushing her buttons, which Marie retaliated with just as much force. Then they kissed her... And then they were kissing some more; in her dorm, in the library, in their dorm. The making out quickly evolved to sex in all those aforementioned places (and more). How that even began, Jordan was still confused about. One moment they're bickering about some pointless things that Jordan can even remember anymore, then they're pushing her up against the wall and taking each other's clothes off. That became sort of a regular thing, along with study sessions either before or after. Marie quickly cleared up Jordan's hold ups, telling them that she doesn't care what form they're in when they are with her (a massive relief to Jordan), but that was basically the extent of it. Not much further than being more than fine with each other's presence, study dates and sex. And after a month or two of that, Jordan became terrifyingly aware that there was so much more that they wanted out of this. The more time they spent with her, the more they really got to know her, they were beginning to realize their real feelings for Marie Moreau weren't purely sexual attraction... They were in love. But, too terrified to break the status quo, they decided to keep that hidden for now.

So by the time classes wrapped up and Marie failed to show to their scheduled study session in the library, they finally folded, shifting to their female form and near sprinting over to her dorm. Jordan had left a few messages already and Marie never answered any texts so they didn't feel bad banging on her dorm door, now half convinced she's either kidnapped or finally ghosting them (they never thought they'd wish so hard for the former option).

"Moreau! You in there?" Jordan shouted, continuing to knock after not getting an answer. Just as they were about to give up and look somewhere else, they heard some shuffling on the other side of the door. It takes a minute for Marie to shuffle her way to the door, slowly pulling it open and looking down at Jordan.

"Wow. You look like shit." Jordan states bluntly, looking Marie up and down in her sickly and disheveled state. She's wearing an oversized grey hoodie and black sweats. She looks miserable, face pale, and a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead.

"Gee, thanks." Her voice was sore as she spoke. The look she's giving Jordan quickly made them aware that she wasn't in the mood for comments. She leaned on the door for support, too exhausted to stand. "what do you want?"

"uh-" Jordan wasn't really sure what they wanted. They were going to tell her off or at least ask why she blew them off today, but the answer to that was clear. And seeing her like this, all sick and miserable, it did things to their heart that they didn't understand. A protective feeling falling over them.

Without saying much else, they let themselves in, throwing their bag aside and reaching out to steady Marie as they close the door. "What the hell are y-"

"Just get in bed, Marie." Jordan interrupts, trying to lead her to the bed, but Marie pulls herself out of their hold, just to walk over herself and get in bed herself.

"what are you doing?" She asks, sitting up in her bed, looking at Jordan confused.

Jordan took off their iconic bomber jacket, leaving them in a black tank top, as they looked around the room. They noted the multitude of used tissues and discarded cough drop wrappers, along with empty water bottles. At least she's staying hydrated - they thought. They eventually registered Marie's question, looking back at her. "You're sick." They stated as if her question was ridiculous.

Marie just shook her head, looking at them, genuinely confused by their actions here. What were they doing? Yes, she was sick, but that was her problem, not Jordan's. So why were they in her dorm trying to, what? Take care of her? Don't get her wrong, she was always happy to see Jordan, be in their company, but it was usually under much different circumstances. Marie still wasn't 100% sure what they were yet, but they didn't think it involved this. "Yeah, okay... And?"

"And?... Being sick sucks. And your roommate's obviously not here to help you and I am, so just lay down, will you?" Jordan tries to reason with her. They decide to get moving, grabbing a trashcan from the corner of the room and scooping the used tissues and wrappers into it.

Marie just watches Jordan move, picking up after her. "Jordan, you don't need to do..." she waves her hands around as she tries to find the right words, "this-"

"-well what if I want to do this?" They argue, but they pause, realizing what they might have admitted. "I mean, you obviously need the help. You're really not looking too hot, have you taken your temperature yet?" They tried to backpedal, but it was hard to hide their worry.

Jordan can't help themselves as they lean forward, placing their hand on Marie's forehead, then moving it down to her cheek, letting it linger there for a second. They get lost in each other's eyes for just a moment, Jordan's words working their way through Marie's mind. Wait- they actually want to be here and help her? , the idea itself wasn't something Marie was used to. It's been a long time since someone actively wanted to be in her company and care for her... She wasn't sure how to feel, but looking into Jordan's eyes sent a flutter through her, and not to the kind that she usually feels when they're about to have sex. This was different... The only thing that pulls her back to reality is an oncoming sneeze, ripping through her as she pushes Jordan's hand away, turning away so she doesn't sneeze in Jordan's face. Marie's head rings as three more sneezes come on, leaving her reaching for some tissues, only to turn and see Jordan (now in male form), holding out the box of tissues for her. She reaches out and grabs some tissues, trying to decipher Jordan's unreadable, yet soft expression. There's an undeniable look of adoration, but a hint of uncertainty or shyness behind those deep brown eyes of theirs.

Jordan clears their throat as they put the tissues back down, moving the trashcan closer to the bed so Marie can throw the tissues away when she's done blowing her nose. "Look Moreau, you're obviously pretty sick, and I know you're too stubborn to admit that you need help. But- God, Marie, just let me take care of you. Cause I do want to help, I- I care about your fucking well-being, believe it or not." They sigh, scratching the back of their head, trying to collect their thoughts. "I- If you really want me to leave, I'll fucking leave, but... Just- If you need anything, seriously, just text me. I'll be right there." They said genuinely, radiating a sort of comfort that Marie hasn't felt in a long time.

All Marie could do was slowly nod her head, lips pressed in a thin line as she thought over Jordan's proposal. "Well... I don't want to get you sick."

Jordan just shrugged. "I'll deal."

Marie couldn't help but laugh at that. "and you say I'm stubborn."

Jordan laughs a bit as well, "Fine. Maybe we're both a bit stubborn."

Marie shakes her head, finally deciding to lie back on the bed, the exhaustion pulling on her bones. Her eyes drift close for a moment, before fluttering back open to meet Jordan's. They're looking down at her, a smile still on their face as they shake their head. "So fucking stubborn." They tease as they get up from the bed, grabbing their jacket and putting it back on. They then grabbed their stuff and began to head to the door.

Marie watches a bit confused. "Wait- we're you going?" She tried not to sound disappointed.

Jordan looked back, a soft smile still resting on their face. "Well, you haven't kicked me out yet, so I'm gonna go get you some medicine, more tissues, and cough drops. I'll be right back." They reassured, walking back over to give a quick peck on her forehead. "Also gonna grab a thermometer so I can properly take your temperature. You feel a bit warm." They said, rubbing her arm a bit before getting back up and heading to the door."

"wait!" Marie called, causing Jordan to stop and look back at her. "Do you think you could get me some soup as well? If it's not too much-"

Marie spoke shyly, really not wanting to ask too much of them, but Jordan swiftly cut her off. "Of course I will. What do you like? Chicken noodle?"

Marie nods, "creamy chicken noodle. From the can."

Jordan smiles, putting those beautiful dimples on display. "Perfect. I'll be back." They said, finally heading out the door.

Marie couldn't help the large smile, tugging at her lips. How did she get so lucky? Sure, her and Jordan weren't "official" by any means, but something told her that after this, things were gonna be different for the better.

Once Jordan came back, they both cuddled up on Marie's bed, eating soup and watching The Princess Bride on Marie's laptop. After that, anytime Marie would ask for something, Jordan would bow their head and say "as you wish," just like Westly would in the movie. They started it off as a joke, but continued, just to see Marie smile and laugh at it.

After a few days, Marie got better, just in time for Jordan to get sick. Which Marie did say "I told you so," only to return the favor and take care of Jordan (making sure to sanitize and wear a mask so she didn't get sick again. She refused to miss more classes). Marie also adopted the "as you wish", just to taunt Jordan back.

After that, there wasn't much question about what they were. They both knew they were more to each other than just casual sex. They loved each other, and would always be there when the other needed it. No matter how stubborn the other was about it.

--

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed. I sort of just wrote this, stream of consciousness, so I hope it makes sense, lol. I wanted to write more, but was losing it a bit, so I just wrapped it up there. But yeah, thanks for the ask!! Love writing about these two so much. Hope you all have a good day.

Much love, 😎👍❤️

-PB

(check out my Masterlist for other fics n one-shots n stuff)

[no-oneelsebutnsu]

I warned you

This is my first time writing EVER, so please take it easy on me, enjoy ig.

Warnings: smut, dachryphilia (idk how to spell), slight degradation, overstimulation

Word count: 0.5k+

This is not proofread so there's probably a spelling mistake somewhere.

Have fun loves

"Come on princess, just one more", this was now the 3rd time Shuri had said this, you looked down at her with big doe eyes as if to somehow convince her into shortening your punishment.

"Don't look at me like that, your puppy eyes won't work on me today, especially not after all that bratting." You could only whine in response to her statement, your head was spinning you were overstimulated and tired but the punishment seemed never-ending.

"On your stomach", Shuri speaks from the other side of the room now, you can hear her rustling through the top left drawer, you knew exactly what she was taking out, slowly you moved onto your stomach as she had instructed you to do, she makes her way to you. Starting on you shoulders she slowly slides her hands down you body until she meets your hips, before grabbing them and pulling your ass up.

Your clit twitched as you felt her strap brush against it, "Shuri-" you started before she cut you off "Uh-uh, no complaining, you wanted to act like a brat and this is how they get treated.", she looked down at you with a no nonsense look that immediately shut you up. Your girlfriend slowly pushed in the head, before pulling out and slamming all 9 inches in, tears form in your eyes as you cry out.

Shuri comes down to kiss your neck, leaving a trail of kisses down your spine, before beginning to slam into you at an inhuman pace. The grip she had on your hips was sure to leave mark the next day. Your moans increase in volume as the knot in your stomach tightens, tears fall freely down your face now, "Shuri-, please slow down".

She leans down to grab your face only to laugh in it, "I warned you not to parade yourself in front of everyone, but you disobeyed and now you pay the consequence" she gives your ass two quick slaps before quickening her pace, your cries becoming more high pitched as she did this.

As your orgasm nears, you can feel the pain from the over stimulation coming back, you try squirming to get away from your girlfriend, throwing you hands back in an attempt to push her off of you. Seeing this she simply chuckles and loops your hands together and holds them down with one as the other one travels up to grope at you boobs.

Your brain goes white for a moment as you convulse and jerk, thighs twitching as you cum all over your girlfriends strap. "Good...fucking...girl" she drawled out, her thrusts growing sloppier as she neared her own orgasm. You cry out as the stimulation becomes too much to handle "It's okay, baby, you can manage." she coos as she ruts into for the last time, as she cums.

She pulls out gently, mindful of your swollen walls, your body collapses on the sheets, panting like you had just ran a race, "You did so well my love." She said peppering your face with kisses, before disappearing into the bathroom and coming back with a wet towel to wipe you down.

I got lazy so a short aftercare session, lol let me go to sleep

[whimsy-goes-insane]

Before I start talking about them, there’s two important things about their actual world:

1. Their world is just like ours… if vampires lived in forests and abandoned houses. They usually occupy forests more because they stay hidden during the day and have more food (blood from animals) around :) It’s a little risky to stay in abandoned houses because hunters usually look for them there

2. Vampires have two defining characteristics: Huge pupils and, of course, their teeth (who could’ve guessed?? /J) - A sign that you’ve been bit by a vampire (idk how you wouldnt notice the bite mark BUT) is your pupil expanding rapidly. It slowly covers the entire eye over time. ————There’s a faint red outline that forms when a vampire is like SUPER hungry. About the teeth, they can slightly retract and extend when they’re about to bite someone. (so if a vampires teeth quickly grows a little longer, that means it’s about to bite AGSHGS)

GOSH THATS A LOT AFAHGSHS 😭😭 NOW THAT I YAPPED ABOUT THAT, I CAN ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT ORBO AND COSMIC

• Ok you already know that Orbos a vamp FAHSGHS, but he was actually BORN one, so he’s a little smarter when hiding that fact. He was gifted a cover for his vamp teeth to make it look like they were normal… It kind of looks like a retainer AHSFHSGS

His glasses are obviously for his eyes. Both things were gifted to him by the Boss :)

- The Boss is ALSO a monster!!! He was the one who got Orbo to join. I think he probably saw Orbo venturing outside of the forest trying to blend in with humans LOL 😭😭 I need to work on their first meeting…

But they’re both corrupt in a way because they’re killing their own people. Orbo often wonders if his family was taken already by one of his own workers

- an important thing to note is that Orbo went into this because he was desperate as well. He HATES being a vampire, not because he thinks it’s inherently bad, but he hates being in fear all the time. (he hated being a vampire when he was younger. He just mildly dislikes being one now)

• NOW ABOUT COSMIC YIPPEE YIPPEE!!! Cosmic got roped into the job by Prismo (who’s another hunter) :)) He actually started out as someone who communicates with the hunters as they walk. They have headsets where they can call someone at their job if they need help on where to go. Cosmic was known for somehow always knowing where a vampire was hiding. Prismo often joked that all of Cosmo was haunted by his ‘premonitions’ of vampire sitings

•• He started to talk with Orbo more once he started studying on how hunters actually work. He would ask his boss questions during parties, meetings, etc… Orbo was actually the one who offered that they start having private meetings (which was basically 2 hour yap sessions in orbo’s office) (NOTHING GAY) (yet)

I need to work on their lovey dovey backstory more… Orbo was definitely the first one to fall in love though, and he felt absolutely terrible for it :( He was in terrible guilt for getting so close to someone who didn’t know about him being a MONSTER yk. He knew that he shouldn’t get with Cosmo, because he would spend every day with him living in fear, just like he did years ago :(

but he did anyways. #slay (JOKING MOSTLY AFAHSGHSHD I JUST NEED TO THINK OF A SCENARIO WHERE HE GETS WITH COSMO BUT NICELY)

immm gonna make a separate post with all my ending ideas because this is already CRAZZZYY long fshhshs 🥲🥲 I AM SO SORRY @idkanna-more

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Ended up yapping about drawing a lot (again) so just a couple of replies today oops

Anonymous asked:

I have to ask, where do you get the motivation to draw so much? I will do half a sketch and than feel every ounce of motivation drain from my body.

Thank you so much for your question, Anon!

I talked about it in this reply, but I also wanted to talk about it again and add to it a little, so sorry if I repeat myself.

I think a lot me being motivated is a mix of habit, discipline and, frankly, positive reinforcement. It sounds like I’m training a dog (that is myself) lol but hear me out.

Everyone has their own approach to drawing, but I personally think it’s important to develop a habit. Like an actual habit, when drawing is a part of your schedule and you have an actual timeslot for it. You don’t have to draw every day for 5 hours; even if you draw every other day for an hour or two, even if you draw once a week for like 40 minutes, over time your brain will start to switch to the drawing mode every time it happens. I’ve been drawing pretty much always for my entire life, so it’s probably easy for me to say, but even now I have separate timeslots for drawing commissions and drawing fanart; and when I was a student, I used to have certain classes that weren’t as important, I could just draw for 1.5 hours during those. It wasn’t an intentional conditioning/training of my brain, it always happens pretty naturally, but I think the fact that I always had these unintentional timeslots for drawing played a huge role in me having this habit.

I’m also trying not to multitask when I draw. I listen to some videos/music or talk with Katsu most of the time that sit down to draw, but nothing more than that: if I have to also look something up, actively scroll my feed, snack or do something else, it ruins the flow :( I guess the flow is the key.

When it comes to positive reinforcement, what I mean is that drawing is always associated with good things for me. The fact that if I have a sketch, I get to show it to Katsu and everyone, the fact that I could draw any ship that I want, the fact that I can share my ideas via my drawings, the fact that I got better at drawing some detail while working on a sketch, the fact that I completed a sketchbook, the fact that I got to use some fun tools like markers or something; try to find something good about your sketches because as long as you are working on them, even the failed ones are important: they are your stepping stone towards getting better. It’s frustrating at first, but it does get better and much easier the more you push.

In contrast to this, if you always feel disappointed or frustrated by the end of your drawing session, your brain just won’t want to come back to it. Or you won’t want to finish the sketch (either because you don’t like how it looks anymore or because you are afraid of ruining it), which isn’t really much better. So whenever you feel stuck, I would suggest you draw something that is super easy for you and that you really love drawing, to get this “easy win” and end on a high note. Also, when it comes to sketches, it’s always better to finish them as much as possible. I don’t know, I guess the feeling of completion actually works better on your motivation? And if you are dissatisfied with it it’s okay; you’ll have a lot of sketches in the future, maybe you’ll redraw this one at some point when you are more rested and experienced. It’s like returning to an earlier level boss after upgrading a bunch… is this how it works? I am no gamer, so I have no idea.

Hmm, I guess other than “get those easy wins”, another advice would be to be as self-indulgent as possible. If you won’t draw what you want to draw, no one will; you are your own content creator. Maybe don’t share your ideas with your friends to give you that extra boost of motivation: “if I finish this drawing, I get to tell them about this AU”/”if I finish this sketch at least somehow, I get to tell them that I like this character a lot”. Those little conditions motivate me a lot.

If the drawing is complicated, make it a project. Do a sketch one day, tackle the lineart the other day, then dedicate the entire day to making sure that the base colour looks good; as long as you are invested in those steps and keep drawing, it’s okay if they are small. You will have a complete drawing after some time, and it should boost your motivation to some degree.

AND! HAVE FUN! Please make the drawing process as fun as possible! This is like number one rule lol

I hope all this made some sense, and if you have any questions, please let me know.

blitzdragonking asked:

Take a look at this article.

Good for them, but also I am not sure what exactly is going to change… I feel like people have been using the censor thingie for a while now. 🤔 Well, it’s always better to get this kind of news than “we are now banning all explicit content” type of news…

If only their support got better at replying in time 😔

Anonymous asked:

What kind of kisses do think the twst boys prefer? You know, French kissing, rapid fire quick kisses, etc…

Actually replied! <3

Anonymous asked:

I want to pull Fellow’s big, fluffy tail (affectionate)

SAME. I’m thinking about it every time I see him. This fluffy tail is…criminal…

[borrowedtimeandspace]

Observations and Refections

AU: A Patient, and Time (Donna AU); set after The Companion and A Doll's House, not long after Zepheera's rescue.

Note: Still not caught up with Doctor Who, but... the specials may have given me one or two ideas. Some points of business are in order before I get to them, though...

mainly me catching up on the show lol

*vague allusions to captivity and experimentation and mental health distress*

~~~

The soft clicks of a sliding number puzzle cut through the silence of the TARDIS’ medical bay.

Well, silent for the Doctor, sitting quietly alongside one of the beds. For the borrower, nestled in the middle of the aforementioned bed, it was less so.

It was far from a distraction for Zepheera, who was concentrating on sliding the tiles around in a square puzzle a little over half as wide and tall as her own height. The ambient noises of people well over a dozen times her size were easy enough to tune out by now. The flow of air in and out of lungs she could probably fit inside of. The gentle rustle of fabric accompanying every shift in position. Every scratch at the skin or swallow or other such absentminded fidget, all background noise that Zepheera was beginning to get used to.

The Doctor had set her up in one of the Time Lord-sized beds days ago, lending her a silky, taupe cravat to wrap up in. Both were softer than anything Zepheera had slept on in half a year, despite the Doctor’s lamenting that it all wasn't necessarily built with someone under 5 inches tall in mind. She was far more anxious, at least at first, about the location. It wasn't all that far off from the lab, but at the same time it did feel…different somehow.

The way the Doctor treated her made all the difference. He spoke gently yet respectfully to her, laying out everything he needed to do in order to check up on her, and always got her consent before moving forward with any of it. Nothing was overly invasive or uncomfortable; it seemed the Doctor went out of his way to find methods of checking her vitals that didn't make her feel like a test subject all over again.

That part didn't take up too much of their time together, which Zepheera was grateful for. In fact, the Doctor seemed even more interested in giving Zepheera small games and puzzles to solve.

It started simple, with memory exercises with cards and playing naughts and crosses with the Doctor. Zepheera found the sliding tile puzzles odd at first, having to use nearly her entire upper body to move pieces around half the time. Even so, after spending the previous day's session getting the hang of the ones with pictures to put together, she found she sort of enjoyed the one in front of her now, with numbers to align. Her moves were smoother and more confident as the numbers fell into place.

She didn't understand the point at first, but she did now, days later. The Doctor wasn't only interested in checking up on her physical well-being, it seemed.

With the puzzle finished, Zepheera sat back and looked up toward the Doctor. He had a soft smile in return, and carefully reached forward to retrieve the puzzle. If he noticed the way Zepheera bit back a flinch at the hand’s approach, he didn't acknowledge it. “Nice one,” he praised, setting it aside on a tray.

“Doctor?” she called just as he was getting up to leave her to rest, as he'd done every visit before. He paused and regarded Zepheera, who hadn't spoken up unprompted at all the last few days. She fidgeted with the silk material under her as she ventured to ask, “Does all this mean I'm…okay?”

The Doctor let out a long, soft breath as he sat back down, leaning his elbows against his knees to put himself closer to Zepheera's level. This conversation was a long time coming.

“Yes…and no,” was the short answer. When Zepheera frowned in confusion, he expanded. “Well, you're physically fit as a fiddle thanks to your healing factor, albeit a touch emaciated. You're keeping down food, always good, that should help with that problem. And cognitively, you're brilliant!”

He tried to offer another encouraging grin, but Zepheera still looked hesitant, anticipating the ‘but’ at the end. His smile pressed thin and he nodded, pausing only to try and phrase what came next as delicately as possible.

“I do still have concerns regarding your…mental state.”

Zepheera blinked at him. “My…?” she uttered.

The Doctor hurried to clarify. “I only worry that, after what you've been through… Anyone going through all that would end up carrying trauma. That can manifest in a lot of ways, sometimes unexpected ones. And I'm sorry, but… well, the TARDIS has been automatically monitoring your sleep patterns in here.”

She felt her ears go hot, and her gaze dropped to her lap. Zepheera had done her best to make this process as smooth as possible, putting as much trust as she could muster in the Doctor to confirm that she was healthy and wouldn't be permanently affected by what was done to her. She hadn't panicked since waking up in his hands, hadn't put up any sort of fuss while the Doctor was around.

At night, or whatever time she took to rest, though… Then, things were less than voluntary. Zepheera knew her sleep was haunted by horrible memories, which more often than not jolted her out of any meaningful amount of sleep. Despite all efforts to make her more comfortable here, she couldn't hide from her own head.

“It's nothing to be ashamed of,” the Doctor insisted. “I only worry, because you'd said before that you didn't have anyone to get back to, anywhere to go. And I doubt that whatever's going on, it'll just stop with nightmares and lost sleep. You shouldn't have to go through that alone.”

Alone…

The word washed over Zepheera like a frigid wave. Her hands clenched around the silk of the cravat as her mind briefly flashed back to the cage. Unforgiving walls separating her from any others of her kind before they were all gone.

But that wasn't the only loneliness that flashed before her. Because even before then, around her own people, she knew that she was nothing like them. 

Every kind thing Zepheera had done for the people she helped felt so empty. Looking back on it all, she had no real passion for it, and was in fact rather reluctant to continue helping. It was simply the decent thing.

Zepheera had lied to the Doctor about them, about the place where she'd lived and the people she assumed had some level of care for her. It had been so easy to do, she realized, not just because of a deeply ingrained impulse to keep her race a secret. 

On some level, she knew that was never her home.

A shift in her balance brought her back to the present. When she opened her eyes and they darted back toward the Doctor, she found that he'd folded his arms along the foot of the bed and rested his chin on them. All this seemingly in an attempt to meet Zepheera's tiny violet gaze.

“The last thing I want is for you to feel trapped here,” he emphasized, his tone whisper-quiet and completely serious. “Whether you stay or go is your choice. I'm not going to make you stay if you don't want it. All I'm saying is, there's room for you here if you would like to.”

Zepheera blinked, searching the Doctor's warm brown eyes for any sign of an ulterior motive, any hint that he was being anything but incredibly kind in offering this. She found none.

She tried to nod to accept it, but nearly tipped forward with the weight of her head. Belatedly, Zepheera realized that all the tension had melted out of her muscles for the first time in what felt like ages, and she couldn't hide her exhaustion without it.

“You don't have to answer right away,” the Doctor assured her, gently shifting his weight away from the bed again. “Get some rest, and we can talk about it when you wake up. Okay?”

Zepheera ran a heavy hand down her face determined to stay conscious enough to convey how she was feeling.

“ ‘Kay,” she murmured, slowly easing herself to lie down. Her eyelids closed on their own, but she felt the vibrations of the Doctor getting up and trying to leave quietly. Mustering as much volume as she could through her fatigue, Zepheera managed to breathe, “Thank you…Doctor.”

She heard and felt the slightest pause in the Doctor’s gait before he continued out of the room and left Zepheera to rest.

[iantimony]

tues

last tuesday in my apartment! going away for ~6 weeks! trying to be normal about it! posting this pretty early in the day compared to normal because i woke up insanely early from my roommate's cat yelling ... then i got bad period cramps and languished in bed with a heating pad for way too long ... did not end up going to my office today, oops ...

listening: like many others i have gotten sucked into the kendrick/drake Beef. i do sporadically listen to hip hop and rap in general but somehow had never gotten around to kendrick. better late than never, i suppose! this is not news but he's really good!! i listened to 'good kid, m.A.A.d city' for the first time and it's just really really good. i cannot recommend a Single Favorite Song the way i sometimes do with albums i like just because this is one of the ones that i let wash over me as an entire cohesive unit. do recommend if you have somehow lived under a rock like me.

reading: mostly fallow. some academic paper stuff. biting my nails about prelim exam things.

watching: dunmeshi and asobi.

playing: ran an insane dnd session saturday for the online weekly group that i got roped into earlier this year ... i'm glad i'm running it, i'm having a lot of fun with it, but my god. we decided to do a 'slightly' longer session than normal because we're not gonna get to play for about a month due to scheduling/travel of various people. it was Six Hours Long. AND THEY COULD HAVE KEPT GOING. killing myself For Real. but actually i do have fun i just. woof. i am excited to have a bit of a break from it. the only tabletop thing i will be doing with that group until like...june 8??? maybe even the week after? is i set up a spindlewheel spreadsheet for me and one of the players! he had to go awol for a few weeks and we're doing a little spindlewheel game as a way to plot out what his character was up to in that period, very fun, will be low-pressure and asynchronous.

making: trying to finish up some pottery stuff before i leave town! carving in crows into this bowl that i will be painting in with black:

handles added to the new cave painting mugs:

and i went to life drawing again for the first time this year! i will not be back at that specific studio til july lol rip but i plan on going to a local place at least once when i'm at home :) 3 min poses, last sketchy one is a 5-minute, and then the hour long!

finally, the bookbinding stuff i did last week and forgor to post! the little one is scraps to test coptic binding, the bigger one behind it is going to be a travel journal for when i'm in the UK for two weeks :)

eating: really really fallow. a lot of eating out and scrounging frozens because i'm leaving town for a while. hoping to cook for my family while i'm at home. i did eat basically an entire jar of grilled olives from trader joes.

misc: i cannot believe how slow this semester went for most of it and then how fast it's been for the end. good god. i leave my apartment in an hour to go get my brother from the airport, we hang for a few days, and then off i go on saturday! fucked up for real! i'm very excited to see my boyfriend and then go abroad though (!!!), less looking forward to feeling like i'm trapped at home again, but maybe this time will be fine (doubt but hopeful). god i need to think about packing, huh. fuckin hell.