#somebody's prolly done this before

[ishhkangy]

short violent texan man

[stupidlyunhinged]

my spirit guides watching me have three breakdowns last night and another four to seven ive had today:

me grieving all kinds of shit non stop for the past two months as shit just continues to get worse:

[ace--of--swords]

Try again w glasses

Smol Smug Scheißer.

[sungstars]

how riize lost their virginities

- anton , he didn’t… he’s either waiting till marriage or he just has no plans too anytime soon, he has no reason too but i heavily feel like he is, he gives off virgin energy im sorry

sohee - he experimented with boys but he hasn’t actually lost it yet

wonbin - he prolly put it in someone but he didn’t like the experience (wonbin asexual king),

sungchan - def had sex multiple times prolly even did it with other idols, he’s too bad

eunseok - he prolly only did it once or twice once he was like 20 but he doesn’t see the need to constantly have sex more than a few times. year, only when he’s rlly rlly rlly horny

seunghan - he’s def fucking girl he prolly fucking RIGHT NOWWWW… i feel like he the type to make u do crazy things just bc the dick is thatttt good like

shotaro - it’s obvious he’s had sex. it’s nothing wrong with duality like ik he has a cute personality but like he’s wayy too skilled with every part of his body (esp his hips) to not be putting it to good use

i’m screaming like this made me laugh out loud when i was checking this blog on my break.. oh this made my day in the best way possible. let’s talk about it. i definitely got a bit off topic in most of these!

content warning: talking about sex, loss of virginity minors dni

anton… well yes! i just think he might not have found the right person to have sex with. i dont think marriage is something that he’s particularly waiting for. if it’s how that works out, for sure! i think that he’s just waiting for the right person that he can trust with something so intimate. i dont think he would be the person to slut himself out, but also i think that would be super yummy if he did. i love thinning about anton with a huge dick and doesn’t know how to use it. he’s definitely a hands on learner so it would be quite interesting having sex with him. he probably would accidentally push all the way in because he got lost in pleasure and apologize for it. 100% virgin but after he loses it… a bitch in heat!

sohee… THIS ONE MADE ME LAUGH IN A GOOD WAY LIKE OH I GET IT SOOO BAD. sohee has definitely experienced sexual interactions with boys. make out with a boy? hell do it. go down on one of his members? yeah he’s done it! but fucking a girl? not yet! they make him soooo nervous. i think sohee has plenty of girls who wanna fuck him… he’s just probably super nervous thinking about it because he wouldn’t know what to do even if it was in his face. i think once he found somebody who would takes their time and guide him through it, he would be ready to sleep with a woman! but it just hasn’t happened yet.

wonbin… i fear that i have to disagree. i think wonbin be fucking just not that often! he gets these spurts of where he wants to fuck any and everybody, but after he feels satisfied, it’ll be a good little bit before he wants to have sex again. i think wonbin is a bisexual king who isn’t picky about gender when it comes to sexual or romantic partners. just my honest opinion about it though! i personally just think that he does fuck a lot of people when he feels up to it! well.. i dont think he has to put it in to have fun. he lovesss foreplay. fingering & oral (giving & receiving), dry humping, handjobs, literally tweak his nipples, sloppy make out session and bite him.. that’s probably what he prefers more so than actual sex.

sungchan… definitely think he’s experienced. i’m not saying he’s easy but if you’re pretty and ask him to fuck… he’s definitely not saying no. sungchan lost his virginity and didn’t look back since. the first time he had sex, his partner was genuinely surprised because she thought he was a virgin? he was!! sungchan is just naturally good at sex and probably also took some notes from amateur porn on twitter. sungchan is definitely a man of pleasure and would prefer to take care of his partner before he takes care of himself. a selfless lover if you will.

eunseok… mm i fear i have to disagree slightly. i think eunseok gets down because he’s a freak nasty bitch. however, i think he prefers to keep it to one partner like anton. eunseok started out as a freak weirdo loser (in a hot way) so when he lost his virginity, he was completely lost and the girl definitely was confused because she thought eunseok would know what to do! looks can be deceiving. however now, i think because he knows what he’s doing, he definitely does fuck somebody frequently!

seunghan… definitely gets down the most out of all of them. i think seunghan is like eunseok & anton in regards to having just one partner instead of sleeping around / seeing multiple people. i think he’s also a freak nasty guy who knows how to use his dick. definitely has girls crazy over him because of how good his dick game is. while i think he has fun fucking, i definitely can see him like wonbin where he likes foreplay. i also think he can be a bit of a selfish lover! sometimes he focuses more so om pleasure than his partner , but when he realizes that’s what he’s doing hell definitely make up for it!

shotaro… FREAKKKKK. FREAK. NASTY. FREAKY NASTY. shotaro gets DOWNNNNN. shotaro has bitches lined up for every day of the week if he feels up to it. his cute persona is a TRAP. you think he’s super goofy and silly, which he is! but in bed he’s fucking nasty as fuck. gag on it! choke on it! cry! hell spit in your mouth and choke you out. shotaro gets down and always leaves somebody wanting more. too bad he doesn’t really see the same person more than twice if he can help it!

end!

[jeansplaytoy]

𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥

part three

conniexreader, arguing/drama, violence (fighting) sexual references, drug usage (alcohol, weed, the usual), language, mentions of cheating.

when two people that have absolutely no faith in real love or trust meet each other, what could possibly go wrong?

⇦ part two here | part four here ⇨

“everywhere i go, this nigga somewhere near me.” you mutter with a slight squint, entering the second party you’ve been to since the start of the month.

the last party was only a week ago, and it wasn’t the worst.

sasha shook her head. “we at a different house and everything, he still here.” she mumbled. you slowly nodded. “ima speak to him.”

as you walked up to him, passing a few people, someone caught your eye. you slowly stopped walking, frowning a little to see who she was. it was the same girl that he was with last week, his arm was resting around her shoulders. you inhaled deeply and sighed, rolling your eyes and walking up to connie.

“hey connieee.” you smiled, standing in front of him. he was talking to his friends before slowly looking down at you. “wassup.” he said before looking up at his friends, starting to talk again.

you frowned. “ain’t no way this boy acting like he don’t know me.” you said out loud with a scoff. his ‘girlfriend’ or whatever she wanted to label herself as, slowly looked you up and down. “maybe cus he don’t.” she muttered.

your eyes averted to her, staring at her for a second before glancing behind you.

“you talkin to me?”

“i’m sayin, you came around here unknown and tryna speak to connie like you his friend or sum.” she laughed a little, looking around.

“girl, who you posed to be?” you frowned at her, pushing your braids out of your face. “his girlfriend, and who you posed to be?” she tilted her head. connie smacked his lips and removed his arm from around her. “somebody that’s known.”

“for bein a hoe?” she raised her eyebrows.

“nah for being pretty bitch spin back.” you put your cup down behind you. “and see, you tryna be funny like i won’t jaw the fuck outta you.” you shrugged.

“damn, ight break it up it ain’t that serious.” connie split you two to be further apart.

“girl nobody fuckin knows you, you’re so unknown bitch you’re a bum, and over a nigga that don’t even want or know you? my nigga?” she raised her eyebrows at you while taking off her earrings. you laughed softly before shaking your head.

“you acting like this nigga wasn’t inside of me last week an hour after we saw each other bitch, i’m very much known and you ain’t shit but a thot.” you waved her off.

everyone’s reactions were getting bigger by the minute. the girl went silent for a minute before looking at connie. “so you fucked that bitch?” she raised her eyebrows. connie shook his head slowly with a small, hidden laugh. “listen bruh, ion even really want you like that. ion know why you keep coming back. you knew we wasn’t meant to be.” connie shrugged before tryna grab the girls hand but she pulled away.

“nah cus that hoe got me fucked up, me and you? we done.” she pushed past him. you stood on the other side of the island counter with mikasa, the both of you laughing at her and connie’s encounter.

when she started saying shit to you again from across the counter, you just stared at her with slightly raised eyebrows. “cause bitch you think you sumn but you standing over there knowing you not gon do shit, this bitch ain’t no fighter, she know she not really bout that.” she pointed at you.

“girl you need to whoop that ass.” mikasa whispered.

you slowly nodded.

“and bitch, the pussy was prolly bad anyway that’s why he ain’t go back for no round two you nasty-“ before she could finish her sentence, you rushed around the counter and made your way to her, cocking your arm back and swinging straight at her face.

you didn’t give a fuck what else she said about you, but that nasty shit? you was never nasty.

everyone started screaming, pulling out their phones and recording. you barely had space to fight because of the way everyone crowded. you sent hard punches at her face and she grabbed your hair, trying to push you back to where she could get on top of you, but when you tripped backwards, you swung her around to where her body hit the ground. hard.

but she didn’t stop punching, which she should’ve. you kept hitting her in her nose, lip, forehead, anywhere. you got yourself to stand up but felt someone grab you. “okay, stop stop!” you heard connie say as he tried to pull you off.

“nah this bitch got so much to say, right?” you said as he pulled you back by your waist. you kicked her on her face one last time before being dragged out of the kitchen, flashlights from people’s phones almost blinding you.

connie lead you outside, closing the door behind the both of you.

“ight, ight, calm down fool.” he mumbled.

“nah you shut the fuck up, that’s yo bitch and she mad cus you fucked me. ion even know why you like the bitch.” you pushed him off of you.

connie frowned and paused for a minute before following you as you walked… nowhere? because you didn’t feel like driving there by yourself, and mikasa, who drove you there, was still inside. you stopped in your tracks, realizing you weren’t gonna make it anywhere when you walked away.

“how is it my fault y’all fought? i can’t control what you do.” connie said once again, reaching towards your head to fix your braids. “and that ain’t my bitch. ion even like her for real, you saw me tell her that.” he said, moving your braids to their original spots.

you stared up at him before crossing your arms, not wanting to speak anymore.

“now you throwing a fit cus yo ass tripped backwards in that kitchen.” connie held himself back from laughing. you let out an exaggerated sigh and moved his hands from your hair. “you tell that nasty hoe don’t say shit to me next time. i wasn’t even gon fight her ass until she said sum bout me being nasty. never that.” you shook your head slowly while staring at the ground.

connie stared at you for a few seconds before raising his eyebrows. “ian ever seen you that mad befo’, thought yo ass was chill.”

“i am.” you muttered before hearing a bunch of people walk out of the house. you turned around to see connie’s, now ex ‘girlfriend’, stomping out of the house. “nah, i got that bitch. ima send somebody for ha ass.” she yelled at everyone around her. you furrowed your eyebrows with an annoyed expression on your face.

“ah, bitch i ain’t scared.” you mumbled with a slight frown. “see this the shit i be talmout, connie. ion know why you would ever even wanna be wit that bitch.” you pointed your thumb behind you.

“i was using her ass.” connie shrugged. you slowly started to squint. “no, not like that.” he laughed a little. “i mean like, she was fuckin wit other guys and shit then i started fuckin wit other girls.”

“so she was cheating before you was?”

“hell yeah.” he muttered before glancing back. “so you tryna… dip or what? i mean ion care i’m just tryna chill unless you want me to just drop you off or sumn.” he looked at you with rested eyes.

you slowly bit your lip. “how i know you ain’t some random nigga just tryna get in my panties or kill me or sumn?” you frowned, taking a step back.

connie reached in his hoodie pocket and pulled out a zip lock bag, showing you six blunts.

“i wouldn’t have brought my weed if i was tryna kill you, pretty.”

mb i took so longggg yall

[hals-homo-blog]

Giving Postal 2 Dude a Bath

P2 Bath Anon I hope you see this. I thought your idea was really cute and I wanted to do some nice hcs of my own for it q v q I really hope you see this. I see you, you are funny and nice and ily. (/pla)

HE’S FUCKIGN STINKY! The stink had CROSSED the line, and Reader needs that man warshed NNNNOWWWW‼️‼️

Really, it depends how close you two are, how deep into the relationship you are, etc :3c Earlier on? Good luck, he’s not gonna have anything to do with that. He’s still gonna be mostly closed off from having the previous relationship be So Very Shitty.

Later on, though? After you’ve been together a few years? After he trusts you and is more comfortable with you? I think he would begrudgingly allow it. He knows he reeks to high heaven and something needs to be done about it. Your nudging about it would push him over the edge to Just get it Over with.

You’ll have better luck if you propose the idea of bathing together as opposed to just you giving him a bath like a Stinky Dog :3c however Stinky and Dog-like he may be. You had better believe he’s gonna be naughty about it >:3c Thats prolly why he agreed in the first place. The water ain’t the only thing that’s gonna be steamy in there. >:3c

You would definitely have the best luck if he was stoned or drunk or otherwise altered. He’s already looking to feel good, hence being altered, and the nice hot water with your fingers massaging the shampoo into his scalp, giving him lots of attention, definitely fits the bill.

Ok, as for Not High and Not Sexy, he’s still hesitant about it, like the previous writer mentioned, he is a grown-ass man I can see it being like those classic cartoon cat-baths where he wedges his limbs against the tub so he doesn’t get wet.

He very well may bite you, Anon. >:3c Don’t scrub too hard or let the soap get in his eyes (The sunglasses stay ON during bath time 😤) otherwise it’s a one way ticket to Chomp Town. I hope you had your rabies vaccination, pookie. <3

I think it would be a nice, intimate thing in the end, building trust, deepening the relationship, showing Dude that you’re different, this relationship is different and that this sort of vulnerability is ok.

Enjoy Clean Dude while he lasts, because you’re not coaxing him back in there for a loooong time. Dude is stinky, that is his natural state, he will soon return to it and bring balance back to the universe.

BONUS HEADCANON: From my good friend @spiderh0rse, if he’s Stinky and Doglike, HIT HIM WITH THE HOSE!!

Somebody has drawn this meme with the Dude, right? Surely. Surely someone has, I feel like I’ve seen it lol.

Hhh I hope you enjoy!! I haven’t really done a headcanons thingy like this before, so I hope it came out ok.

I mean no disrespect to the writer who was originally given this prompt q v q I just thought there were a lot of funny and sweet story opportunities that were missed out on, and I wanted to explore them a bit. I apologize if my making this comes off as rude or mean 🙏 /gen

I do think the Dude is capable of tenderness and/or non-sexual intimacy, it just takes a lot, a LOT, more work to get there for the s/o, y/n, reader, etc.

[sayakxmi]

Some ideas for V3 as Remanants of Despair* under the cut, cuz it's prolly gonna be rambly.

Gonna preface it all by saying that some stuff will likely be inspired by in fact by Buttercup_ghost if not just downright borrowed, bc their takes are great (fully recomending reading the fic), but I'm also trying to add my own spin to it.

Another thing is that I like the idea of V3 Remanants being delusional/convinced they're doing the right thing. They all gave me very strong self-righteous vibes, and it's a recipe for disaster. Like, class 77 are more "burning the world down to burn it" while 79 (V3) are like "gotta burn it/purge it to make it into a better place". Like, Junko specifically used the fact that they are naive and view themselves as good people against them.

Shuichi Saihara

Ok, so first of all - SAWhara? Amazing, spectuacular, never been done before, full credit to Buttercup_ghost bc I love this idea so much. But I kinda like the idea of Despair!Saihara being some kind of a harbinger of truth if you get me. He sort of is one in the game, but there he is gentle and unwilling, but as a Despair, he has none of that kindness he's occassionally willing to give to the culprits. No secrets are safe around him, he will dig it all out to cause strife and despair. Unless, of course, you can actually overcome it. In that case, you have a chance of surviving. He probably doesn't view it as truth ruining people's lives but the lies they'd told to hide it earlier.

Also, again from Buttercup_ghost, but the idea of Junko getting to Shuichi first makes just so much sense. The two best picks are either Shuichi or Kokichi, but I feel like they also cancel each other. They're both capable of falling, but also they're both capable of standing their grounds if others fall first. The difference is that Shuichi is liked and can get Junko close to others, while Kokichi is alone and he'll always be, so getting through him first is a shot in the knee kinda, bc others won't be as trusting as they would've been if you met literally anybody else first, F. Plus, there's a chance of using that loneliness against him later to make him fall, so it makes sense that way, too.

Kaede Akamatsu

It's like semi-borrowed from in fact (it's faster to write the fic titile than the author's, so I'll be doing that from now on), but only semi bc it's something I probably would have come up to myself even without reading it, like, girl decides to take the one for the team & kill somebody, hoping the person that dies will be the one that "deseved" that/was the real enemy, and it's similar here. Some people are Evil and they need to Die.

Rantaro Amami

Something something, failing your family will get you in trouble, that's also why one of the first people he kills are his own parents. I mean, you lost 12 daughters, by now you should have found at least one, you're rich and all that, you can afford it, but apparently it's only Rantaro who cares enough to involve a detective I guess? But, yeah, abusers of all kinds are the targets, neglectful parents etc etc. You get the idea. It sounds ok in paper, but the definition of abuse in his eyes is kind of unclear, so if you beat up your kid he'll be after you, and you can also just have a nasty argument with your spouse, and then you won't have a spouse, so. And, again, the point of V3 as RoD is that they are doing what they believe to be right, but they have sekwed up perception of right and wrong and zero limits.

K1-B0

Something we kinda forget about Kiibou is that he canonically looks down on Shuichi, like, bro just tells him he saw him as beneath him in their last FTE, and only changed his mind after some time. MAN. But, anyway, Despair!Kiibou isn't trying to be perceived as like humans or anything of this sort, I mean, why would he put himself on equal grounds with some people (derogatory)? He's so much better than them! He's a robot, he's smarter, he's stronger, he simply knows best. And people better recognize that or they'll get burned to crisps. I can also see him perceiving himself as somebody who should make the law (a nod to all that lawsuit things), he kinda goes dictator mode I guess. Fuck the three laws of robotics.

Gonta Gokuhara

Straight up stealing from in fact, bc Gonta going around mercy killing people who are "least likely to survive" is peak. Also love him not considering the rest of his class his friends anymore (save for Kokichi, but we'll get to it later).

Angie Yonaga

Again, in fact, Angie believing that Junko is her god makes sense to me. Grl started a cult probably, so first half of chapter 3, but there's more blood, I guess.

Tenko Chabashira

Definitely one of the more difficult ones to turn into a Despair, but I can sorta see her misandry spiking up. My idea is kinda that since Shuichi, a degenerate male, brought Junko to them, which put Himiko and other girls in danger, she straight up blamed him for what happened, and got radicalized over time. Though, admittedly, Despair!Tenko is a subject to change if I come up with something better.

Himiko Yumeno

Chapter 2 body discovery, except she's doing it on purpose. Himiko Yumeno, Blood is Magic. Maybe she embraces the "evil witch" archetype, too. Nobody will question her status as a mage if they're dead. I like where I'm going with it, but I'm struggling to put it into words, I hope you get the idea.

Miu Iruma

I tried to think of something, and against myself I ended up kinda agreeing with in fact again, oh well. It just makes a lot of sense for her to turn into a Despair out of paranoia - get them before they get you, y'know? But it's Miu, so her ego has to be involved somehow. It's a mix, then, she's afraid of everything, but also wants the world to acknowledge her genius and hotness, so if she has to blast some people into fractions, she will.

Korekiyo Shinguji

Listen he was like 16 in the game how tf he managed to not only kill almost 100 women, but also somehow not be caught. Bro isn't exactly the definition of subtle appearance-wise. He's supcious as hell, actually. And for that reason, again, sadly, in fact went into this direction, and so am I. I told you the author's takes were great.

Ryouma Hoshi

Aaaand in fact isn't over. It was awfully simple with him - he has nothing left to lose, so Junko gets him to care about her, and he doesn't care what happens to the rest of the world.

Kirumi Toujo

I'm not 100% sure about it, but I'm kind of vibing with that backstory of hers, that she once served somebody so well that person became unable to do their job, and her opting to do just that, because everybody else is fucking incompetent compared to her, and she deserves far more appreciation. She's resentful, and she'll smile and bow politely and ruin her employers' lives from the inside, showing them they're nothing in comparison.

Tsumugi Shirogane

She's a tricky one, but I can imagine Junko making her recognize her "true potential" or something. She's likely the one who idealizes Junko the most out of everybody, and I can see it as somewhat similar to the Mikan situation, which, oof. She gives Tsumugi all the attention she could possibly ask for, while for the rest of the world she might as well not exist, and she roams it in various costumes, doing whatever she pleases and avoiding responsibility. She's similar to Impostor in a way, but I'd say their difference is that Tsumugi can copy only some general stuff, mostly visually, so she can trick people into believing she's somebody else only for a little bit, while Impostor is so good they could live somebody's life for years and nobody would question it too hard unless they and the original were literally in the same room, and also Impostor can learn their skillsets. Anyway, I think at her core Tsumugi just feels worthless, so she becomes anything else for Junko, and when she's dead, her reason for being herself is gone, too - nobody cares about some Plain Jane, so she wants to become the next Junko to feel the void something something.

Kaito Momota

I'm really entertaining the idea of him just embracing the worst parts of himself - he believes himself to be the hero, the main character, the chosen one, and he requires others to recognize that. He pulls a vigilante, probably, but, as usual in Despair!V3, his view of who is and who isn't a criminal is skewed. But it doesn't matter, because he's never wrong in his judgement. He knows best who desevres or doesn't deserve to live, and he takes all the credit for putting the ones who don't into their grave.

Maki Harukawa

And who else does Kaito take the credit from if not the Ultimate Assassin herself? Ngl, they give me the vibe of Fuyuhiko and Peko. Kaito's the hero, and Maki's his sidekick, his weapon. Her hands can never be clean, but she can use them to make the world a better place by getting rid of all the filth. And she trusts Kaito's judgement, so if he tells her to kill somebody, they'll be dead.

*Kokichi Ouma

In fact gets the credit for making me realize things can be happening in the same universe, and also that V3 can be the ones responsible for what happens to him. Kokichi isn't a Remanant, he essentially takes Chiaki's role. He is by no means his class' hope, but he sure af won't let anybody touch them (well, an attempt was made). I've mentioned by Shuichi that best options would have been either to start with him or Kokichi, and yeah. Kokichi absolutelu could become Despair under the right circumstances, anybody could, but Junko made her choice, and while it was logical, it also meant Kokichi will not fall to her. He was recognized by HPA as the Ultimate Supreme Leader for a reason. Nobody touches his people and gets away with it (whoops, she did). Bro went through a Chiaki-style execution, except he reaches his class who weren't as friendly to him as Chiaki's would've been. By which I mean they toruterd him to near death. Like, I have specifically ideas for Kiibou burning his wrists, making the hand-shaped scars resemble cuffs (punishment for all the robophobia, Kiibou doesn't need the human laws to do things for him, he can judge crimes himself), Gonta knocking him out, bc he wanted Kokichi not to be awake to experience any of that, and at some point when Kokichi looks at Shuichi, Shuichi ends up stabbing him in the eye. RIP.

In the good route, both him and Chiaki survive, btw. Very long story would be that Chiaki, Nagito and Kokichi were friends in HPA, doing some investigating on Kamukura Project and Junko, and for Reasons Nagito was suspended for a while, so he wasn't there when Junko was getting to his classmates, blah blah, Kokichi tells him to go where his classmates went (Chiaki's execution place), bc he has to go after his own to safety or sth (even tells him about DICE in case something happens to him, bc he has a Plan, but no plan is 100% cerain to be succesful), so Nagito gets there when she's still alive if barely, Kamukura arrives, Nagito gets him to help Chiaki anyway. Kokichi's execution happens some time later, and Nagito and Chiaki find out and get to him when he's already like 90% in the grave & thanks to Kamukura he survives.

Bad route has them not get to Kokichi on time, and also at some point both Nagito and Chiak die, so they're both AIs in the simulation, long story.

[jzibbles]

reaching for home · 30+ hrs, clip studio paint

totk spoilers below

Obviously, enjoyed TOTK. First time ever finishing a 3rd person POV game. Loved the end scene (who doesn't). IMO the sage storylines weren't as compelling as the champions, but loved seeing Zelda developed more. Wish they dove (hah) into her sacrifice and the depths (HAH) of her chara more, but then it wouldn't be as much a "kid's" game. That was also why it was important to me to render Link's scars.

This piece was really about exploring color, perspective, and CSP's built-in 3D modelling tools. Prolly my best colored piece yet, tho colors are still muddier than I'd like. Calling it done as I'm not interested in continuing to render the waves / clouds / sky islands, and can't quite wrap my brain around any other color changes at the moment. I know they set the last catch sometime midday to get that light blue / gold lighting effect (since purple and red are so Ganon-coded), but I really wanted to try the backlit sunset effect. Maybe we can say this is related to how, yk, ages of sacrifice to fight a demon king Might Actually leave an effect on somebody? Who Knows Ey?

Was careless about accessories / canon details in this piece as it was mostly for study, but: I'm happy about how Zelda's jewelry turned out. Nice and shiny.

Obviously, please don't copy + post elsewhere without attribution please! This took me a long time! Even if it is "just" a study.

(How might one upload in higher quality? This was a much higher res piece before it got compressed.)

[unpredictable-probabilities]

Azul Ashengrotto of Royal Sword Academy || Chapter 5: Gifts, Dances, and Sparks

Summary:

It's the eve of the Autumn Dance and Jamil is nervous, both about Azul's Blot levels and being Azul's date.

He's not sure how the night is going to go with rival schools under the same roof, but there's only one way to find out...

Word Count: 9,262

Saturday rolls around, and Jamil finds himself in the school bus with his fellow NRC students on the way to RSA for the Autumn Dance. 

The town passes by outside the window, and Jamil can see the streetlamps slowly coming to life as the sun begins to set. Shopkeepers and restaurants turn on their porch lights for evening shoppers and customers heading to dinner. 

“Can’t believe ‘m gonna finally see RSA!” Floyd says, sitting beside him. His formal coat is only halfway buttoned, and the hem of his shirt hangs loose from being untucked. “Ya ever been there before, Sea Snake?”

Jamil glances up from where he had been absent-mindedly fixing his own outfit, a little self-conscious. "Hm? RSA? No…I've never been. Wouldn't be surprised if it's anything like its students–fancy and sparkly." 

Through the days leading up to the dance, Azul hasn't done much to contact him. For a while, he figured it was probably because he should initiate first, but even when he tries (using a small "hey"), there's been little to no conversation and… 

Well... Suffice to say that he's feeling restless, like there's something he's forgotten or overlooked. 

Trying to text and ask Kalim how he's been doing hasn't produced much results either, and he's beginning to think that somebody's sabotaging his mobile messages. 

Calm down, Jamil, he chides himself. They're probably busy with schoolwork and preparations for the dance. Azul told him as much. He gets busy at NRC, too. 

Still, worries about Blot and Azul have been piling up in the back of his mind.

"I hope you're not planning on setting anything on fire while we're there," he mutters. 

Floyd just laughs, which isn’t exactly reassuring. 

“Oh hey,” Floyd says as if he just remembered something. “We ain’t supposed to bring a gift or anything to our dates, right? I dunno how these things work, and I didn’t bring any for Flame Tetra.” He pats his pockets as if looking for a last-minute gift. 

"... Umm…" 

Jamil subtly pushes his small parcel further inside his jacket pocket. 

"I don't… believe so. Besides, I'm sure Rielle wouldn't—Wait, Rielle!?" 

He whirls around to face the merman, bewildered. "You asked HIM out as your date? Wh—How did that happen?" 

Floyd shrugs. “I texted him the other day to ask if he wanted to hang out. He said he’s too busy with the preparations and had to get some glass swans decorations or somethin’ from some shop. So I went to the shop and brought him some fries. We hung out while walking to the bus stop, then we reached it and he had to go back to RSA. But before he left I asked him to be my date.”

He pulls out something from his pocket and squints at it. “How about this spare button as a gift? Do ya think his suit would have buttons that need replacing?”

Jamil gawks at Floyd, speechless. 

Great Seven, this man is the option Rielle's left with now that Azul's unavailable? 

Jamil feels that he can't apologize to the sea prince enough as the silhouette of RSA's school rises from the distance. 

"Er... maybe gauge your standing with him first before you present him with the… button. How's that?" 

“Whuzzat mean?” Floyd wrinkles his nose in confusion. “Why, what’s yer standing with Octy?”

Jamil purses his lips, deciding to ignore the second question. "I mean... it's just a button. Rielle's prolly too nice to reject it, but I think even he’s got some standards." 

Floyd sticks his tongue out. “Yer too picky. Glad yer not my date,” he grumbles before settling into his seat and pointedly ignoring Jamil. 

They reach the RSA grounds, and after a short briefing from Professor Trein about maintaining good behavior throughout the night, they’re let out of the bus. 

As they approach the main building, the tall gleaming gates open on their own, and Headmage Ambrose walks out with a welcoming smile, flanked by two RSA students in formal wear. 

“Welcome to Royal Sword Academy,” Ambrose smiles warmly at them, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I must say that it brings me great joy to see Night Raven College students on our doorstep. A unified celebration between our schools has been long overdue, if I do say so myself.”

"I couldn't agree more, Ambrose!" Crowley's voice announces from behind the crowd, and the crow-masked fellow promptly sidles himself up to stand before his students, wearing a pleasant grin. Somehow, despite the NRC Headmage's cheer, there's an evident lack of warmth to his demeanor in contrast (though that simply could be because of his dark midnight colors compared to Ambrose's friendly blues). 

"It's a great pleasure to grace these halls after so long. My!" Crowley softly gasps. "Aren't those your usual robes? Are you not dressing up for your own school event?" 

"Crowley," Ambrose says, in a voice that seems less warm. "I could tell you the same thing. Isn't that the ensemble you wear every day on campus? I mean, presuming you do stay on campus every day." His smile remains, but it's subtly different now than the one he wore when he first greeted them. 

Students from both sides eye each other in quiet confusion as they watch this strange display. 

"Why change what's already perfect?" Crowley beams, looking unperturbed as he ignored the other's jabs. "Meanwhile, your periwinkle blue ensemble makes you haphazardly stand out! A shame... I just thought you would treat yourself to a nicer outfit on such a special occasion, though I suppose it's always about looking 'simple and humble' with you." 

"Oh, I am sure you don't see standing out as a bad thing, given that you insist on wearing those feathers everywhere," Ambrose's eyes narrow as he chuckles. He turns to the students and his features become warm again. "Regardless, please come in! These gentlemen will lead you to the ballroom," he steps aside and gestures to the students behind him. 

"This way, please," says a tall brunette with a friendly smile. 

Gleaming corridors and tall arched windows welcome them as their footsteps echo along the marble floor. Everything is so sparkly clean that if Jamil knew nothing about this place, he’d think it’s a new building. 

NRC is by no means a pigsty, and the staff always keep everything clean and orderly, but walking through RSA’s halls had Jamil wondering how it’s possible for hundreds of students to live there and keep the place looking like it does now. The word “Royal” is in their name, so Jamil supposes that it’s only natural for the building to look like a palace wherever they look. 

“Those are some fancy tapestries,” Ruggie whistles as he walks beside him. “Each of them is big enough to cover my entire living room floor back at home. Bet they’re expensive, too.” He squints closer at the threads.

Jamil pauses in his stride and stays at Ruggie's side, raising an eyebrow. "Already forgetting the briefing that we're supposed to be on our best behavior tonight?" 

“Aww, I’m just looking, man,” Ruggie claps Jamil on the arm, pulling him along with the crowd and they start walking again. 

They reach the ballroom, an enormous space with a ceiling high enough to fit large chandeliers with long crystal lights, sparkling in the softly-lit room. 

Round tables draped in white cloth were set in intervals on one side, high-backed chairs surrounding each one. In a different part of the room, taller but smaller tables stood, no chairs. Jamil had been to enough fancy parties by the Asims to know that those tables are for people who prefer to be mobile during an event. Those sociable people don’t need chairs at a party. They pass by one of those tall tables, and Jamil sees two glass swans sitting pristinely as the centerpiece. 

Along one wall, a long buffet table is laden with various dishes of meat and vegetables and fruits. At the end, some catering crew are swiftly setting up the desserts. 

Calming classical music is playing from somewhere, and Jamil realizes that it’s the same song that Azul had been playing in the department store, but in a slightly different arrangement to make room for the violin accompanying it. 

Jamil looks around, beginning to wonder if Azul was the one playing the music. Idly, he searches for the source of the sound, pausing alongside the other NRC students as they awkwardly crowd around the entrance, wary about fully entering into the den. 

His gaze falls onto the piano at an elevated dais on one side of the room. Azul has an air of relaxation about him as he plays the song along with another RSA student at the violin in front of him. He’s wearing the outfit he had bought at the department store, the purple coat draped around his shoulders. 

Jamil stares and watches Azul, entranced as a small smile creeps upon his features. 

Well, he's glad Azul seems to be doing well. 

"What'chu staring at?" Ruggie asks, following Jamil's gaze. "Ohhhhhh. Geez, man, you're not even being subtle about it anymore." 

"Hm? What?" Jamil blinked, having failed to catch what Ruggie said. 

"I said the entrees look delicious, don't they?" 

"Ah. Oh… Yeah. I suppose they do." 

Ruggie squints at him, grinning. “I’m gonna head to the appetizers before Floyd gets to them," he deftly makes his way to the buffet table, cheerfully greeting the catering staff and waving at them. 

The other NRC students see Ruggie confidently moving about the room, and they begin to relax and file in, looking around.

Not wanting to look like a fool standing in the middle of the entranceway staring at seemingly nothing, Jamil moves along, too. 

However, since he doesn't wish to disturb Azul just yet while he's still in the middle of his performance, he starts to follow Ruggie, attempting to occupy his mind with something else for now. 

He looks around, wondering how many of the Savanaclaws showed up in the end. He's surprised to see that most, if not all, of them are present. The usually rugged-looking Savanaclaws are wearing formal clothing, some of them are even dressed more neatly than Floyd. He sees Leona in the corner, a small frown on his face as he adjusts the tie on his princely outfit of bronze and dark brown. 

Jamil was too busy taking in the sight of the Savanaclaws and their normally unsociable Prefect that he didn’t notice the RSA student in front of him until the other’s hand steadies him on the shoulder, preventing them from colliding into each other.

“Jamil,” Rielle greets him in surprise, a fancy drinking glass in hand. “Welcome to Royal Sword Academy. How do you find the place so far?”

Jamil looks at the prince. "Ah. Hello, Rielle. It looks…" He gazes around. "Enchanting. You all did a good job with the place. How have things been for you guys?" 

“Thank you,” Rielle tips his head politely. “Things have been… busy,” he chuckles, a nervous and relieved sound. “I now have the utmost respect for party planners. Honestly, what I’m most looking forward to about tonight is the good long sleep that I’ll be having.”

His expression turns a bit more serious. “Listen, I wanted to talk to you about Azul. Do you have a minute?”

Jamil tenses up. Does Rielle know about what's been happening between them? Jamil's feelings? The gift he's hiding in his jacket right now? 

"... All right," he stiffly nods. "I'm pretty free at the moment." 

Rielle visibly relaxes, and he turns to one of the tall standing tables beside them, placing his drink on it. He looks down at the cuff of his coat and fidgets with it for a second before speaking.

“Azul and I spoke the other day. With our busy schedules, he really made time for us to be able to speak privately, so I gathered that it was important. Jamil, I do apologize for ruining the mood of what is supposedly a fun party, but…” his composed expression makes way to that of worry, and he speaks more quietly. “Do you really think that Azul is at risk of Overblotting?”

Jamil blinks in surprise before he nods, acknowledging Rielle's sincere worry. If he already feels this concerned about Azul, he can only imagine how bad it is for a close childhood friend. "That's what I've been led to believe by... trustworthy sources. Why? What has he told you about it?"

“He told me what happened at your Equestrian Club’s obstacle course. How he felt a particular anger after��� talking about Knight Class. He said he lost consciousness.” 

Rielle’s forehead creases with worry, and his jaw clenches. Jamil realizes that there’s guilt in the prince’s expression. 

“I never realized how hard it has been for him, being associated with me,” he says quietly. “I should have checked in with him more frequently, but I focused so much on my duties that I had ended up taking his presence for granted,” he shakes his head.

"... If anything, your presence in his life has gotten him this far," Jamil reasons. "You're both having a hard time with the way things are, but you've managed to get through them before, haven't you? What's changed?" 

“That’s kind of you to say,” Prince Rielle gives a small smile, then he sighs. “And to be perfectly honest… I think Azul and I have simply gotten weary. Our freshman year had already been difficult, especially with our adjustment to land. Now that we are in our Second Year, the expectations have only gotten higher. I cannot even be a few minutes late to class without getting a lecture about how as a royal, I should always be a role model for excellence, and tardiness is unacceptable.” 

He meets Jamil’s eyes. “That is why I am grateful that Azul found some breathing room in your presence, I of all people know how much he deserves it,” he says sincerely.

Jamil pauses, his mind beginning to race as he prods at the implications of this revelation. 

What's changed, he had asked. 

Could one of the changes have been Jamil himself? 

It's almost ironic, really, how the indentured servant got some breathing room in his life for once, spurred on by Azul's reassurances. Only to find the possibility that Azul, having seen said servant begin to fly, is starting to look at his own life in comparison along with the chains that bind him down. 

"... But then... what about you?" Jamil asks. "If this is a burden on Azul, I can only imagine how much heavier it is on your shoulders. How have you been coping with all of it?" 

Rielle looks down for a moment, a sad smile on his face. “I do not entirely mind the duties I have to do, helping others makes me happy, and I do aim to make things better for the people in my kingdom after graduation, as well as other merfolk who wish to visit the surface. I just kept telling myself that it would all be worth it in the end, and distracted myself in my work. That spontaneous hang out that Floyd had dragged me into on the day that he burned my school uniform while attempting to cook a pretzel, it was the first trip I had gone to in a very long time that did not involve me being a prince. I enjoyed myself immensely,” he smiles sheepishly, as if embarrassed. 

Jamil tries to rein back the weird look he was about to give him. "Oh, I hadn't expected that you'd… enjoy Floyd's brand of fun." 

In fact, he had been certain Floyd was going to add to Rielle's stresses. If Riddle was here, he'd certainly attest to that. 

Which reminds him... 

"...Are you saying you somehow enjoyed it so much that you said yes when he asked you to be his date?" Jamil asks. "I heard that you're attending the dance together, and to be honest, I'm still having a hard time believing it." 

“Oh, Floyd mentioned that?” Rielle blushes and laughs. He clears his throat. “Are you going to suggest that he and I do a… what was it, DTR?” he says playfully.

"Ah," Jamil quirks a shy grin. "You heard all that? Or… did Azul tell you about it?" 

“Azul told me, in that same conversation after he told me about his visit to NRC,” Rielle says. “And I brought it up because… I wanted to thank you. Azul and I had been dancing around such serious conversations, and without your intervention, I don’t know how long it would have taken us before we actually addressed our… dynamic.” He smiles at Jamil, then his expression turns a little somber. “Azul had been worried that him being your date was hurting me. And, it was. But not in the way that Azul or even I first thought.”

He pauses for a moment before continuing. “Azul and I had been with each other for so long, and we had both thought that that is how it would always be, and we had no problems with it. My father had implied a betrothal between us a handful of times, and neither of us opposed nor acknowledged it, not even to each other. 

When we talked the other day, we admitted that the arrangement was quite convenient for the both of us. I didn’t have to worry about my father marrying me off to some stranger, and Azul said he felt a sense of security for him and his mother with the prospect of our marriage in the future. We’re close friends, and for a long time we genuinely didn’t mind the thought of being married. In our world where duty awaits us at every turn, it was a nice thought that at least our future spouse would be someone with whom we could be completely honest and wouldn’t have to keep up appearances.

But we realized… that was it. We don’t want to marry each other, it was just convenient. And our recent reunion with Jade and Floyd–our first meeting with you–reminded us that we had a life before all of this,” he gestures around them. “Before titles were slapped on us and everyone expected us to act a certain way. We realized that we had the choice to make decisions that do not conform to the expectations set down before us, that we didn’t have to settle for what is merely convenient.

I told Azul that Floyd had asked me to be his date to this dance,” Rielle smiles, a bit of cheerfulness returning to his expression. “It wasn’t convenient at all for Floyd to travel all the way to the store where I was picking up the decorative glass swans, but he didn’t care. He still showed up with a bucket of fries because I mentioned that I hadn’t eaten lunch yet. 

I wanted Azul to be my date to this dance because he’s the one with whom I’m the most comfortable being around. But I realized that I’m really comfortable with Floyd, too. He has known me since middle school, and never once did he expect me to act like a prince or be a role model of any sort. I can be myself when I’m around him, and he doesn’t mind if I spill food on my shirt because he’s most likely already done it himself,” Rielle chuckles. “And Azul… well, Azul told me that he has had his own realizations, too,” he says vaguely. 

“Anyway,” Rielle continues. “Another reason I’m telling you all this is, I wanted to let you know that whatever… dynamic you want to pursue with Azul, I won’t be getting in the way. Neither of you have to worry about me, because I’m happy for you both,” he smiles genuinely at Jamil. 

Jamil listens to Rielle's tale with wide-eyed speechlessness. Azul actually talked it out with him… 

... And they've both decided that they don't want to be together in that way? 

… Rielle actually finds Floyd comforting? Perhaps he's been a tad too harsh on the fellow; it's true that his methods, though unorthodox and carefree, may just be the extreme sort of balance Rielle needs. 

He can only hope that this is one of the few things Floyd doesn't change his mind about. 

But more importantly, it was the words that came afterward that left him reeling. 

Rielle was happy for them both? Almost as if they're…

Was Rielle… giving him his blessing to court Azul? 

"... Um…" He utters out, going red in the face and falling into a small stumble backwards. "I... Wh… Huh? Wait, I'm… You're… he…" 

"Whazz goin' on?" Floyd asks, slinking up to drape himself over Rielle. "What'd ya do? You broke Sea Snake?" 

“Floyd,” Rielle brightens up. Then chuckles at Jamil’s reaction. “We were just talking about Azul.”

“Ohhhhhh,” Floyd says, his arm over Rielle’s shoulders. “No wonder he’s all a-flustered, then.” His gaze falls on the table. “Ooh! Is that the fizzy fruit punch?” he reaches over and picks it up—

Then sets it back down. 

“Uh, can I?” he asks Rielle, pointing at the glass. 

Rielle chuckles. “Go ahead. And yes, it is indeed the fizzy fruit punch.”

Jamil finds the scenario before him so jarring he snaps out of his bewilderment to be even more bewildered. "Floyd?" he asks. "Did you ask for permission just now? Over a fruit punch?" 

“Yeah, so?” Floyd shrugs and picks up the glass, then takes a sip. “Mm! I like it! I should tell Jade about this, I think he’s plannin’ to open a café at our dorm. If he makes a drink like this, I’d totally be there.”

“A café?” Rielle asks with interest. “That sounds nice, I can see Jade being quite the capable businessman. How did he get the idea?”

“Huh? Oh I wasn’t paying attention when he told me,” Floyd says. “Ooh! But we can ask him! Look, he’s there over by the appetizers with lil’ Remora.” He grabs Rielle’s hand and begins to pull him. 

Rielle just manages to look at Jamil and say, “Thank you for having that conversation with me, Jamil, it means a lot,” before getting completely pulled along by Floyd. 

Jamil stares and watches them leave, trying to blink his way back to a calmer composure. He could barely even register the café part. Who was establishing it? Where did Floyd and Rielle go? 

He shakes his head. Get it together. 

After calming down from all of that, Jamil realizes that the music has changed. It’s a different song now, and played on a harp by some RSA student that he didn’t know. The piano is vacant, and Azul isn’t on the dais anymore. Looking at his immeidate vicinity, he realizes with a start that he doesn’t see him at all.

Jamil begins to glance around the entire hall, walking to see if he can find a good vantage point. 

He spots the familiar pattern on the back of Azul’s coat, partially hidden by the small fountain emitting sparkling water. The golden embroidery on purple catches the light from the chandeliers. 

Azul is in a conversation with someone who is probably an RSA professor, based on how he seems to be scolding Azul. The man has thin round spectacles, a round face, white thinning hair, and a white mustache that’s thicker than his white eyebrows. 

Even from this distance, Jamil can see Azul’s tense posture, standing straight and proper behind the fountain. 

Jamil ducks to hide behind a nearby column, trying to get as close as possible to listen to their conversation without being seen. He normally would've left it alone, but something about the scene before him twists his gut unpleasantly. 

“The catering was almost a half-hour late, and the area for the meet-and-greet with the Moirai doesn’t even have couches yet!” The man seems so enraged with the absence of those couches that his mustache fluffs with his every syllable. 

“The restaurant informed me that there had been a problem with their refrigerated van which took longer to fix than they expected, Professor,” Azul replies calmly. “They offered their sincere apologies and would be giving us the desserts for free as compensation. As for the VIP area with the Moirai, the others are bringing the couches and tables there now as we speak. There is quite the large number of students who have signed up for the meet and greet, and the printing of their ID passes had only been completed this afternoon. Hence the preparation of the VIP area had been pushed back by an hour.”

“That is because you had little forethought for these things,” the professor says sternly. “I checked the logs, and it’s you who decided to add the meet-and-greet with the Moirai and modify the menu for the catering so close to the dance.”

“The committee had ample time for those changes, Professor,” Azul says evenly. “The delays that occurred will not affect the program at all—”

“There is no use for excuses, Ashengrotto,” the professor cuts him off.  “As a member of the committee, you are well aware that final decisions should be made two weeks before the event, and yet you still made modifications after that deadline.”

At this point Azul is looking more tense. “I was only aiming to make the program as enjoyable as it can be for the guests, sir.”

“By bending the rules?” the professor huffs. “You better hope that there aren’t any more mistakes during this event. I expected better from the Coral Sea’s future royal advisor.” He gives one last scowl before turning on his heel and walking away. 

Azul remains standing there. He takes a deep breath and releases it, but it doesn’t alleviate the tension in his shoulders. His right hand is clenched into a fist at his side. The light is too dim here for Jamil to make it out properly, but it looks like Azul is clutching a small object in his hand. 

Jamil glares at the professor as he walks away and out of view. Then he goes to Azul, taking in a deep breath before pushing himself off of the column to meet with him. 

"Azul…?" he tentatively asks, looking at the item in the boy's hand. 

Azul startles and turns to him, then his face relaxes into a smile. “Jamil.”

He follows Jamil’s gaze and looks down at his hand. 

“Ah,” he lifts his hand and opens his palm, revealing a tuning fork bent into an almost U shape.“I had been double-checking the instruments when Professor Weselton called my attention.”

He pulls out his Magic Pen and casts a spell on the tuning fork, straightening it out. 

“There, good as new,” he gives a small smile and tucks it away in his pants pocket. “How have you been? Have you eaten anything?”

Jamil takes a moment to process that before giving him a shake of the head. "Hadn't eaten yet. I was busy enjoying your performance. Other than that, I've been doing well... I would've approached you earlier, but you seemed… occupied in conversation there. How are you doing tonight so far?" 

Azul’s smile becomes more genuine. “I’m happy you liked my performance. I always enjoy playing the piano, so I've been having a pleasant time. Though admittedly Professor Weselton’s scolding had put a bit of a damper on things.” 

He steps closer to Jamil and turns serious. “Jamil, I’d like to apologize that I hadn’t been messaging you much the past few days. I had to do some extra work because of the modifications I had added to the party plans, and some of the professors weren’t happy with how much I had been going out lately, so I had to pay closer attention to things so they wouldn’t outright be against me going outside campus and staying out for long. Then Rielle and I had some serious conversations and I needed some time to think and…” he shakes his head lightly. 

“Regardless, I had planned to explain it to you tonight, and I do plan to make it up to you,” he reaches out as if wanting to touch Jamil’s hand, but hesitates. Instead he just smiles at Jamil. “I promise.”

Jamil watches Azul's hand fall back to his side then clears his throat. 

"You don't need to. The fact that you guys went through the trouble to set this up to begin with is compensation enough. And um… " 

He takes out the small pouch from his pocket, hesitantly handing it over. 

"I… thought to give you something. I had some time to myself in the kitchen and figured I might as well... They aren't much, but I hope they're to your liking." 

Azul looks surprised, then he takes the pouch and gently takes out the paper packaging. “Jamil, you didn’t have to,” he says as he unwraps it. 

"I know." Jamil mutters. 

Within the packaging is a batch of cookies, each one intricately decorated to look like pretty seashells that washed up along a sandy beach. A few of those shells are clam-looking confectionaries, designed to hinge open and close to reveal cream filling and a chocolate ball resembling a pearl. 

"I er… wanted to, though." Jamil was actively looking anywhere but Azul, both eager and mortified as he anticipates his reaction. "Besides, I figured that you deserve some sort of reward for all your hard work." 

Azul picks up one of the cookies, opening it to see the chocolate made to look like a pearl. He gasps softly, "Oh my. These are beautiful, Jamil, I’d never seen anything like it. Thank you.”

He closes it and puts it back in the wrapper and pouch. Then he clears his throat.

“I was planning to give this to you after the dance, but since we’re here…” he gets a small box from his pocket and hands it to Jamil. It’s about the size of his palm and is midnight black with sparkling white dots, resembling a starry night sky. 

Jamil eyes the item, caught off-guard. "Huh? Wait, what's this?" He carefully takes the box and opens it up. 

Inside is a small case for wireless earphones, a square with rounded corners, painted to look like the top of a tall tower, the lid that opens being the roof. When opened, the earphones float out of the case to hover gently above it, a small pair of wings unfolding from each, flapping like hummingbirds. The wings fold in and blend into the earphones when picked up, and the earphones just look like normal ones with a painted design of birds.

“I thought you might like music since you like dancing,” Azul says, shrugging shyly. “And you seemed to like the piano music back at the department store…’

Jamil ogles the device a little more, not quite believing his eyes. 

An embarrassed grin forms along his jaw and he gently packs the item away as he mumbles, "Wow... A Muses Olympos brand. I've never had such a fancy piece of tech before. Thank you. I'll take good care of it. It… really means a lot." 

Azul's shoulders relax. “I’m happy you like it. Shall we find a table and share these?” he holds up the pouch of cookies.

"Let's," Jamil nods, walking by Azul's side as the rest of the party goes underway. "... By the way, I managed to catch some bits and pieces of your conversation with your professor back there and... is he the only one or do most of them treat you that way?" 

Azul falls silent for a moment before he answers. “Most of my professors are much... kinder when they express their expectations about me, and no one else had anything negative to say about tonight’s program so far. Professor Weselton has just always been more uptight than the rest of them, we’re all used to it. 

"Well, I hope you don't listen to him because I for one think you did a great job." Jamil states. 

"Thank you, Jamil,” Azul smiles at him. "Would you prefer to sit at the bigger tables or just stand at the taller ones?” he asks.

"I'm fine with sticking to those for now," Jamil nods at the standing tables. 

They go over to a table, and Azul places the pouch on it. “So, what gave you the idea to bake such unique confections?”

"Well, I wasn't sure if you'd be into the sea motif, but it was the best idea I got. I hope you don't mind sweets." 

“I do like the sea motif," Azul says sincerely. "It reminds me of the beach where I often see shells washed up along the shore. Admittedly, I tend to avoid anything that has too many calories, including sweets, but you’re right, tonight I deserve a reward.” He takes a bite out of a cookie that’s shaped like a scallop shell. “You are quite the talented baker, Jamil Viper. I don’t suppose you can teach me how to make these?”

"It wasn't all me. I had a bit of help with it, but... now that I've learned the recipe, I wouldn't mind teaching you." Jamil remarked, enjoying the sight of Azul indulging in his creations. "Speaking of gifts, the one you got for me… You didn't have to get something that pricey. A pair of regular pods would've been fine." 

“I wanted it to be customized, and I didn’t have a lot of time to look for any other store that does that. Muses Olympos was the most accessible,” Azul explains. “Besides, you put a lot of time and effort into these cookies, all I did was buy those earphones.” He gives Jamil one of them. “Try one, the baker is really good," he smiles. 

"Accessible?" Jamil asks, picking up a cookie. "Last I've seen, they're found in high-end luxury department stores. Is RSA specially sponsored by the Muses or something? Or..." He glances around the room. "You got a classmate with connections to them?" 

“Rielle and I had visited their branch in town two weeks ago, inquiring about their sound system for this party. When I called them several days ago, they remembered my name. I may not have denied their implications that the earphones are for a noble and therefore have to be made posthaste,” Azul says with a twinkle of mischief in his eye. “And don’t worry, I told Rielle about it. He merely found it amusing and was happy that I found a store that would do what I wanted.”

"Huh..." Jamil smiles. "Well-played, Azul. I'll do my best to act the part of a noble if I ever have to bump into any of the people working there." 

"You already look rather noble to me," Azul says with a smile. "Your suit looks even better now than it did in the store, you carry it well." 

"You too. That's new, though," he gestures at the coat draped around the other's shoulders. 

"Ah, yes," Azul glances at his coat. "I found that it's more comfortable to play the piano when I wear it like this. It's less restricting, and I've decided to just keep it like so. Does it look odd?"

Jamil shakes his head. "It doesn't. It suits you well." 

You look cute in it. 

"How do you find the cookies?" 

"I really like them," Azul says. "And I'm not just saying that so you'll teach me how to make them," he says playfully. "You should have more, I can't possibly finish all of these," he nudges the cookies to Jamil. 

Azul bit down on the clamshell cookie, and some chocolate was left on his bottom lip. He doesn't seem to notice. 

Jamil, as he takes a cookie, notices and attempts to point it out. "Ah, there's a bit of chocolate over…"

He gestures to Azul's lip.

"Oh," Azul's eyebrows raise in surprise. 

He uses his thumb to wipe his lip, but it's on the wrong side and he doesn't get the chocolate out. 

Azul absently flicks his tongue across his bottom lip. "Is it gone?" 

"Ah, no. Here, lemme..." Jamil mumbles, absentmindedly leaning forward to wipe it off. 

As he touches Azul's lip, he suddenly realizes what he's doing. 

He's so used to doing this for Kalim that he acted without thinking. 

He quickly leans back and withdraws his hand. "Th-There. It's… It's gone now."

Azul is frozen for a moment, then he clears his throat. "Th-Thank you. Do you often bake?"

"Um..." Jamil lets his mind catch up for a moment before replying, "N-No, but… I figured there was no harm in giving it a shot."

"No harm indeed," Azul smiles. "You do cook at home, right? I seem to remember Najma saying that your dishes are, in her words, boring-looking?" he says in amusement. 

Jamil's eyebrow twitches at the remark. He turns his gaze to Azul again, confidence regained. "While I will admit that my cooking's appearances leave something to be desired, the food I make easily rivals that of a professional's."

Azul beams at his confidence. "Is that so? You know, I have heard the same remarks about my cooking. And not just because they want brownie points from Rielle," he says pointedly in a humorous tone.

Jamil playfully squints at him. "What're you suggesting here? A cooking competition between the both of us?"

"Oh, I'm sure I'm not suggesting anything. But if you insist," Azul says in feigned innocence. "Do we know anyone who might be capable of judging?" 

Jamil looks over to the other students present. Someone who wouldn't be biased nor easy to please would be ideal… 

"I nominate Vil," he gestures to the practically-glowing blonde across the hall, even though he's not sure if he'd have the time to indulge in such silly competitions. "Then another guy named Trey. Any potential judges on your end?" 

"Vil Schoenheit?" Azul says in surprise. "I wouldn't wanna add to his certainly busy schedule. Though of course I wouldn't mind it if he does have the time. As for here… " he furrows his eyebrows in thought. "My classmate Theo's family owns a restaurant, so he's quite knowledgeable when it comes to cuisine. And Cindo from Knight Class would be a viable judge as well. Where would we hold such a competition?" 

"Hmm... That's a good question--" Jamil pauses before he turns to the other. "You know, I heard that Jade's planning on opening up a café soon. Maybe once it gets all properly set up, we can hold it there."

"Sounds good," Azul says. "Perhaps you'd even want to cook there regularly when it turns out to be to your liking. If your claims are true, then Jade's café would be booming in no time."

Jamil shrugs. "I guess that's something to consider, though I'm not sure how to feel about having someone like Jade Leech as my boss... Did you have something to do with it, by the way? The café?"

"It's part of what we discussed when I visited NRC," Azul says. "I suggested that he could open a café to help promote his club. He invited me to help him come up with some recipes, and hopefully after this dance I would have more time."

"Sounds good. Perhaps you'd even want to come over regularly when the planning and managing turns out to be to your liking," Jamil mimicks Azul's tone, smiling. 

Azul chuckles, then smiles back playfully. "Will I be seeing you if I do come over regularly?" 

"Maybe," Jamil teases, though he's already mentally planning to ask Jade about the details later. 

"I'm sure Jade would be happy to have you cooking for his café," Azul says, then he glances at the buffet table. "Would you like to eat already? Oh, or are you waiting until after your dance-off with Floyd before you eat?" 

"Yeah, it's never a good idea to dance with a full stomach." Jamil looks at the hall, where some of the boys are already filing in to sway along to the new music at play. "What about you, though? How are you feeling about going out there on the dance floor with me? Getting any cold feet?" 

Azul raises an eyebrow. “Is that always how you ask someone to dance with you?"

"Never asked someone to dance before so you'll have to forgive my inexperience." Jamil chuckles. "I was being serious, though. Do you want to do this? If you don't want to dance, we don't have to." 

Azul smiles. “I want to. My mind hasn’t changed about that.” He slips his coat off his shoulders and wears it, smoothing it out and pulling it to make sure it looks proper. 

He steps to the side and holds out a hand to Jamil, looking like a proper gentleman. 

Jamil had been thinking he'd be the one doing that, but he's gotta say that he doesn't dislike being at the receiving end of attention like this. 

He looks fondly into Azul's gaze before accepting his hand and walking out with him to the dance floor, letting his cares melt into the back of his head even when his schoolmates notice and begin to stare. 

“You’ve really never asked anyone to dance before?” Azul asks as they walk to the dance floor, his hand holding Jamil’s. “What makes little old me so special?” he says playfully. 

"... I think..." Jamil stops at some point along the hall and promptly positions himself before the other. "You've become someone I want to see happy. You seem to view yourself incompetent when dancing was first brought up, and yet you still wished to come out here with me. So, even with something as hard for you as dancing, I want to help you enjoy yourself, no matter what anyone watching says." 

Azul seems surprised for a moment, his face reddening in the dim light. “Well, if you asked me to dance with you because you thought it would make me happy,” he says quietly as he places his other hand gently on Jamil’s waist, “you’re right.” he smiles. “You’ve become someone who makes me happy, and I’m hoping I can be the same for you,” he says softly.

"...You don't have to hope," he mumbles, placing a hand on Azul's shoulder, taking the first step. "You already do." 

Azul steps into rhythm with him, gazing fondly into his eyes. 

Jamil absently realizes that the music is a pop song that he’s familiar with, but the arrangement is slower to make it more fitting for a slow dance, the drumbeats and electro-pop sounds replaced with violins and a piano. A couple of RSA students are singing. 

We were strangers Starting out on a journey Never dreaming what we'd have to go through Now here we are And I'm suddenly standing At the beginning with you

“I took dancing lessons,” Azul softly says, smiling shyly. “We have regular dance classes, but I took extra dance lessons with my schoolmates that will be performing later.”

No one told me, that I was going to find you Unexpected, what you did to my heart When I lost hope You were there to remind me This is the start

"You took to those lessons well," Jamil grins, letting Azul take the lead. "You went through all that trouble for me? Even after the other party preparations you had to do?" 

“It was part of the party preparations,” Azul says with feigned innocence. “I planned to dance with you at this party, and I prepared for it,” his eyes turn playful. 

I'll be there when the world stops turning I'll be there when the storm is through In the end I wanna be standing At the beginning with you

“Your schoolmates are staring at us,” Azul whispers with a small smile. “Are you sure you’re alright with this?”

"If you're alright with dancing, then I'm alright with being the center of attention like this. We shall both suffer together," Jamil quietly jokes. 

"Whoo!" Floyd's voice cheers from the din of the crowd. "I wanna dance, too! C'mon, Flame Tetra, get on the floor with me!" 

And with Rielle's laughter bubbling up to the surface as he gets jovially yanked onto the fray, the fragile tension breaks. Groups of friends, individuals who just wish to sway along to the music, and couples–RSAs, NRCs, with even a handful of them boldly asking and challenging each other to a dance respectively–spread out to the dance floor, joining them both in a lively celebration. 

Azul laughs good-naturedly at the sight. “Look at that, it seems like everyone else is enjoying dancing as well.”

The space is big enough that even with the large number of people, there’s still plenty of room to move. In the crowd of well-dressed students, Jamil sees Ruggie and Leona dancing together with grins on their faces, their gazes only focused on each other. 

“Is that Ruggie with Leona Kingscholar?” Azul says in surprise. 

Jamil makes a low whistle. "Would ya look at that? Looks like the proud lion's finally let his walls down. It's about time." He glances back at Azul. "You know Leona?" 

“Not personally,” Azul says. “Rielle is required to know the names of the royal families, and by extension I became familiar with them as well. I only saw Leona once at a diplomatic royal event last year, but I didn’t get a chance to speak to him. What’s he like?” Azul asks curiously. 

"Oh-hoh?" Jamil quirks an eyebrow in amusement. "Well, can you tell me what he's like in those diplomatic royal events first?" 

This should be good. 

Azul thinks about it. “He did not look happy to be there, that was my impression. He never spoke unless absolutely necessary, and he only ever looked stoic or bored. However, he’s evidently intelligent based on the few conversations I’ve heard him join. At some point, some nobles were at a corner mocking King Falena’s rule. Before their snickers had even died down, Leona was already there. 

For a moment I was afraid that he would get violent, but he addressed all three of the nobles with their titles, and clearly and concisely listed down their shortcomings as leaders of their cities. I didn’t know most of the things he was talking about, but from the aghast and embarrassed reactions of the nobles, it looked like he hit the mark. He called them an embarrassment to the kingdom, bared his teeth, then walked away. 

I don’t know if King Falena ever knew of what he did, but Leona Kingscholar gained my respect that day.”

"Huh." Jamil glanced back at Leona once more. "You're not too far off, then, though I suppose I can argue that he seems to enjoy his time as the leader of the Savanaclaws more. However, he's just as largely disinterested with anything in general, like classes and meetings. It's hard to tell what gets the guy going other than the fact that he seems peeved about everything all the time, but..." He glances at Ruggie laughing at something Leona said. "It's good to see he's not always so dour." 

“Indeed,” Azul smiles, looking at Leona. “He’s much happier here than he was at that entire meeting.”

A different song had been playing for a while now, which Jamil recognized as a ballad from the Sunset Savannah, and it’s reaching the end. 

And can you feel the love tonight?  How it's laid to rest It's enough to make kings and vagabonds Believe the very best It's enough to make kings and vagabonds Believe the very best

Ruggie says something, Leona smiles, then he leans forward and kisses Ruggie, wrapping his arms around the hyena beastman’s waist. 

Ruggie leans into the kiss, embracing Leona around the neck. 

Some of the Savanaclaw students begin to whistle and holler as Jamil instinctively looks away from what seems to be a private and intimate moment. 

"Aw, shut yer yaps, guys!" Ruggie complains. "You're ruining the moment!" 

Despite his griping, all it takes is one inaudible comment from Leona and Ruggie proceeds to ignore the masses and launches himself at the guy. 

"Awww, that's so sweet!" one of the RSA students coos. 

Azul turns to Jamil in surprise. “Were they together this entire time?”

Jamil gives an honest shrug. "I'm not sure. I suppose they seemed close, though I didn't know it had gone to this extent. But I guess it explains a few things here and there…"

An announcement comes over the speakers that the Moirai would be performing next; applause and cheering burst from the audience. 

The band comes up on stage and greets everyone a good evening, earning another round of applause. 

One of the members, a woman with pink hair with blue highlights, says that they'll first be performing one of their most popular songs, and everyone is free to continue dancing. 

The crowd settles, a few people clapping and cheering their favorite band member's names. 

The song begins…

If there's a prize for rotten judgment…

Floyd appears, pulling Rielle along with him. "Heya, Sea Snake! Lil' Remora had the guts. When're ya gonna make yer move?" he nods to Azul. 

Jamil tenses up from Azul's close proximity and Floyd's blatant call-out. He hesitates, looking at his dance partner to see if he has any clue what the eel's talking about.

Azul seems to tense up as well, but he smiles at Floyd. "Hello, Floyd. How are you—" 

"Shush shush, Octy, I'm talkin' to Sea Snake," Floyd cuts him off then turns back to Jamil. "How's it goin'?" 

"Huh? What do you mean 'how's it goin''? What's supposed to be 'goin''?" Jamil asks, glaring at Floyd. 

Who'dya think you're kidding?  He's the earth and heaven to ya Try to keep it hidden  Honey, we can see right through ya You can't conceal it We know how you're feeling  Who you're thinking of

"Oh lookie, the song's for you," Floyd jerks his thumb towards the Moirai. "Why'dya keep hidin' it, Sea Snake?" he smirks. 

Rielle speaks up. "Floyd, do you wanna go get dessert? I saw some beautiful cupcakes over there, come on," he begins to tug on Floyd's hand. 

"Hmmmm fine, but this ain't over Sea Snake!" Floyd says as he allows himself to be pulled along by Rielle. "Listen to the song, Octy!" he gives a final yell before Rielle takes him away. 

Give up, give in Check the grin  You're in love This scene won't play  I won't say I'm in love!

Jamil watches Floyd get tugged away before worriedly smiling at Azul. "Hah-hah, that was um… weird. What's the song even about, I don't think I've ever heard of it before…"

Azul chuckles nervously, still holding Jamil by the hand and waist. 

"Ah, it's one of the most popular songs of the band," Azul says. "The um, lyrics are quite interesting." 

You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling Face it like a grown up When ya gonna own up  That ya got got got it bad

"It feels like it's certainly communicating something," Jamil mutters. "... It's about someone who's in denial about falling in love with somebody, right?"

"It… seems so, yes," Azul glances at the Moirai, not looking at Jamil. "Though I do wonder why people go through the trouble of denying such a thing. It sounds terribly stressful," he chuckles. 

"Well..." Jamil mumbles, eyes drifting to the floor. "Maybe they're afraid that the other might not feel the same way… Or they're afraid of everything that could come after. Or that they might not know what it means to love."

He suddenly glances up at Azul. "Have you . . . ever liked someone that way?" 

Azul takes a moment to answer. "For the longest time, I thought I felt that way about Rielle. But I had some time to think about it, and getting together with him just felt too logical, like the answer to a homework, or something to tick off a to-do list. I didn't really want to be together with him. Fortunately, when we talked about it, it turns out he didn't like me that way either. And we were both relieved that we didn't have to hurt each other."

He meets Jamil's eyes. "How about you, though? Why did Floyd say that the song is for you?" he asks jokingly, but there's genuine curiosity in his eyes. 

Jamil's grip on Azul's hand tightens a bit, tense. 

"Perhaps someone is in denial about how they feel with me," he jokes, though his heart was not in the quip. In fact, it was racing, and he feels like he's going to vomit. 

Is this the right time to say it? He asks himself.

"... Or maybe Floyd knows me more than I'd like to admit."

Azul's gaze flickers around the ballroom a few times before settling on Jamil. 

"How would you feel, if that were true?" Azul asks him. "If someone is indeed in denial about how they feel with you?" 

"I... I wouldn't know. That's sort of a weird scenario to find yourself in, isn't it? Knowing for sure that someone likes you but they themselves won't admit it? What do you even tell them? 'Hey, I know you're into me so why don't you just go ahead and say it?'" He shakes his head. "Sorry, I'm making this awkward, aren't I?"

Azul chuckles kindly. "No, don't worry. And I suppose it was an odd question on my part, anyway." He falls silent for a few seconds. "Have… you ever liked someone that way?" 

"... I don't know," Jamil whispers.  "I grew up never really figuring out how I feel about anybody. I can't tell what's hate or love or like or dislike… I go through life only knowing what I need and what I want, and um… right now, it's hard to tell what I want."

Azul just looks at him for a few moments, his expression unreadable. "What do you need?" he asks quietly. 

The intelligence to figure out what I want this instant and the strength to act upon it.

Jamil sighs. "Just to have a quiet moment with you, where no one else is around to tell us what to do or tease us or mess with our heads."

Azul looks surprised, like he wasn't expecting that answer at all. 

Then he glances around before meeting Jamil's eyes. 

Azul says quietly, "There's a tower nearby with a balcony overlooking the gardens. Sometimes that's where we hold Astronomy classes, though now the telescope isn't there so there's quite a lot of space. It's not a rooftop, but no one would bother us there." He stares at Jamil, gauging his reaction. 

Jamil takes a second to pause just to hear how fast his heartbeat quickened.

Then he stops midway through the dance step and squeezes Azul's hand, almost like a plea, as his eyes furrow in determination. 

"Then let's go."

A relieved smile appears on Azul's face. Then he wordlessly pulls Jamil along through the crowd. A few people throw curious glances their way, but most of the attendees are absorbed in their own dances, conversations, and dinners. 

Jamil's gaze falls on their linked hands as they walk, and he hears the Moirai conclude their song. 

At least out loud I won't say I'm in Love…

Author's Note:

The songs used in this chapter are:

"At the Beginning" (Anastasia, 1997)

"Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" (The Lion King, 1994)

"I Won't Say I'm In Love" (Hercules, 1997)

Thank you for reading! ^_^

<- Chapter 4

Chapter 6 ->

(Masterlist)

[captain-joongz]

Oh my god I love you I love you I love you I love you so much.

Holy fucking shit that was possibly the sexiest thing I have ever read, and its not even my ult bias :0

You have no idea, dear author how long I have waited for somebody to do that fic justice. It’s been sat in my brain for about 2 years. In fact I remember the week I cane up with it being in October, so it has been almost exactly 2 years.

And omfg justice you have done it. I am so thankful 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

Theres just something about pathetic boys yk.. especially when they have a slight attitude. They’re so delicious. I spent that entire fic wanting to eat Min alive tbh 😩

Thank you so much my dear author, I hope writing that fic gave as much enjoyment to you as it does me reading it 🙏

- ✨

(Im sending this to all my friends, in fact I am sending every request you have written for me to them all)

oh darling, i'm so glad that you liked it! that's some high praise you're giving me, careful or i might become quite the little peacock... 🤭

i had soooo much fun writing it, it was something completely new and even i was surprised just how much i enjoyed it! thank you for requesting such an interesting story!

i'm just glad that you enjoyed it baby, and thank you for sharing with others, nothing makes me happier than knowing you like it enough to share my works like that with others to read <3

i'll just prolly go through it again tomorrow and fix some typos that escaped me before i published it, wanna give you the best experience <3

[lesser-mook]

Elizabeth Comstock

I hold this character in very high regard.

The way the story smoothly transitioned her into central character focus, after making her retrieval the actual goal/game objective of the first act of the story, then a carefree NPC, then things got more interesting, she started showing more sides to her than just "uwu waifu mode". She was dynamic.

Very slick.

She's a better developed Eleanor, tho Eleanor was also a cool character who pulled strings too.

Actually, deadass?

A lot of the Bioshock ladies one way or another was (co-/independently) lowkey running shit or making moves.

Sofia Lamb, Bridget Tenebaum

Julie Langford, R.Lutece

Eleanor Lamb, Daisy "mfing" Fitzroy

Fuck that "girlboss" shit.

These ladies were beyond that, they were professionals, experts in their individual fields. From Biology, Quantum Physics, to social psychology, to just knowing how to lead.

They were qualified, not strong FEMALE characters, just solid CHARACTERS. Without the derivative labels. Love that shit when it’s done right.

And some of em are npc's, not even that deep, most prolly forgot some were in the game, but they were cool.

Usually you got characters just doing shit perfect nowadays because they:

Believed in themselves

Or somebody told them how special they were all along-

These characters have ***credentials***, Hollywood needed more of that energy in the writers room. Still do.

In a poetic sense, Elizabeth, with all that power+knowledge, was like the accumulation of all of those characters before & technically after her, for both better and for worse.

Cause she, our dear Elizabeth, did some questionable shit to get what she wanted sometimes. Just like Daisy has no stranger to bloodshed, nor Sofia. They're flawed, that's why they're believable. They're not perfect little angles, while they guys look like idiots. Everyone, one way or another, has issues. Welcome to BIOSHOCK, enjoy your stay.

Thus, the beginning and end of Bioshock, Anna Dewitt.

This character is pretty decent.

It's a crime she's not more appreciated on "female character" game lists. Likely too much good writing and not enough midriff, fanservice, waifu mode, D.I.D, & skintight clothes for the peons to project onto.

Infinite didn't vibe with me at first, I actually did NOT like it (Still have my complaints, entirely with the enemy designs) but "Burial At Sea" was just:

Full circle, I'm a sucker for well executed time loops that don't make me roll my eyes.

Probably played BAS: Part 2 more times than I did the first game.

The difference between a girl and woman is "blood", jfc RIP to the homegirl, she was about that life to the end. Won't spoil who tho, if you know, then you know. Play the game.

Since Levine (original Bioshock writer) is NOT on the project (And for a very understandable, even respectable reason to boot) but for some reason the 4th is being made anyway, this is screaming studio mandate than it is an organic "necessity" for the story.

Which is just MATRIX4GREED all over again: Sure the first 3 was a complete story, but WHAT IF? We made a 4th one for no fucking reason at all?

All they gotta do is just fit it in after Bioshock 2 chronologically. But I sincerely pray, and hope Bioshock 4 doesn't fuck up the time loop or the point of the original games frfr.

[idontliketomatoesleavemealone]

honestly I don't wanna read all 70 questions cause I have to get ready for work soooooooo

fuck it, all of them. 1-70

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

I suppose so. I don’t think I’m really close because that’s just how I work but we’re all good with each other

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

my guinea pig I think

03: Do you regret anything?

bruh that’s a shit question I regret everything I’ve ever done that’s how life works

04: Are you insecure?

hahahahahahahaaha yeah

05: What is your relationship status?

….its complicated

06: How do you want to die?

hopefully in my sleep of old age if I make it that far

07: What did you last eat?

uhhh two laugenbrötchen a few hours ago

08: Played any sports?

used to yeah, PE, fencing, horseback riding, swimming etc

09: Do you bite your nails?

no and I do not like it when other people do

10: When was your last physical fight?

does shoving my head against berry’s shoulder like an angry ram count

11: Do you like someone?

Obviously

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

nope and don’t plan to; I don’t do full nighters

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

so many people you have no idea

14: Do you miss someone?

also so many people. I have a lot of feelings about people.

15: Have any pets?

yeag the dog two cats three guinea pigs

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

bored :( tired, it’s 23:31 as I’m typing this

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

nah I haven’t kissed anyone romantically yet 😔

18: Are you scared of spiders?

yeah but like a reasonable amount

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

the void

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

reading, maybe going outside, I have a very exciting life

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

not really but like, if I’m financially emotionally socially stable enough at some point in like 10+ years I wouldn’t be absolutely opposed to it? Like I wouldn’t just say no. …under the condition that I am NOT the pregnant one fuck no

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

none, I could’ve gotten ear piercings but never did

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

idk like arts? Officially, arts religion and physics

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

yeag many people HOW AM I LIKE A THIRD THROUGH

26: What are you craving right now?

any meat. I’m literally craving meat 24/7 it’s so bad (I haven’t eaten meat since December)

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

I mean probably? Not on purpose and/or that I know of?

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

No

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

yeah :( accidentally, I was making a joke but she didn’t pick up on it and it was like the straw that broke the camel‘s back I think

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Everything man, I’m answering this rn

31: Does somebody love you?

….yeah?

32: What is your favourite color?

red and blue :3

33: Do you have trust issues?

I don’t think so? I don’t trust a lot of people tho

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

hm. Good question? I have a lot of dreams. Probably mutuals or friends or my pigs

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

depends on the person, some I have never given a second chance some should’ve been out of my life ages ago but I’m weak

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive, aka just ignore and hope it doesn’t happen again

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

nah. Arguably, it’s probably one of the best so far; everything kinda went downhill since May, but I can’t really rate years

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

havent 😔

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

as a babe prolly

51: Favourite food?

I don’t really have one but I like chocolate cake and Bratwurst and Klöße :3

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

nah it’s the universe shit just happens

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

idk, brush my teeth?

55: Are you mean?

I can be but not seriously. My teacher once said I can make comebacks too well.

57: Do you believe in true love?

not necessarily in the fairytale form but yeah there’s something like that

58: Favourite weather?

extremely rainy and thundering and shit

59: Do you like the snow?

yeah but we don’t really get any

60: Do you wanna get married?

legally yes but not at a church that’s too much stuff to deal with

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

no, not a fan.

62: What makes you happy?

These are TOO UNPRECISE

63: Would you change your name?

tbh probably not? Like I hate my name but idk what to do about it like it’s still my name

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

yeag cos I don’t remember

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

….that would be a problem bc I’m a lesbian (we could stay friends obv but like. That’s it)

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

hmmm you

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

like how do you define talked to. I talked to the boy at tutoring I guess? In passing?

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

how do you define deep. I had a chat with berry and rice on Monday?

69: Do you believe in soulmates? Sorta, I think for the vast majority of people there’s someone right for them out there

[calvatier]

At the end of the day,,,he is still somebody's son,,, somebody's lil baby boy 😢😢

Ramble

Lues before he turned towards his father's religion, before his life went downhill,,,in the lap and hands of his sick dying mother,,,if only he had just a little more time to save her, what if he had done something about his father earlier 🤕🤕 now he lost of his parents,,,his father because Lues murdered him in pure rage for not protecting his mother,,,and his mother because she died in her sickness 😢 he probably wishes to lay in her lap one more time,,

Lues wept for both his parents,,,over his father and then later at his mother because after murdering his father, Patior approached him as he was impressed. Then Lues wept for his mother,,,prolly holding her cold hands and telling her that he didn't mean to kill his dad and that he wished he worked harder to save her

Losing both parents in one day was such a blow to him that Patior could easily manipulate him,,,

Now i wonder if Lues still has a soft spot or if he turned his heart into stone,,,I was imagining him having a source of comfort but honestly, he probably tried not to be like that because Patior teaches his followers to not rely on people,,,then Lues would prolly hold it all in,,,,how many years since he has gotten a hug?,,,oughh i feel bad for him but still hes a bad person

It kinda makes me wanna cry thinking abt my OCs and their parents because something about that sentiment is so heartbreaking,,,like you used to be a little baby who was protected and loved and cared for,,,but life turned you cruel

I wonder how Amias feels,,,knowing that he probs has a hard time remembering his mother,,,and lowkey I realised I've never rly drawn any content of his mother and him 😭😭 I feel like they both have a low-key unhealthy relationship,,,,but she's still his mother and he's still her son so they still love

[dumtranskitty-2]

e h n o t

E = Exhibitionism: Do you like being seen getting off? Ever done anything explicitly hoping to get caught?

Abby likes da idea of bein nakey like the petgirl she is in public.. >< it just feel nicey and makes her girlcock tail all SWishy.. >< and not yet tho she did go out her housey naked for like five minutes once at three in da morning.. ><

H = Humiliation: Do you like to humiliate/be humiliated? Any stories?

Abby lov having her inteligens humiliated.. >< specially when done in condescendin way like aww u tried to smarty even tho u know u'll never be anything more than a stupi dumdum that just makes Abby melt.. >< no stories yet tho she does cummy lots to da idea of bein nothing but a brainless bimbo pet.. :3

N = Nope: What’s your biggest turn off?

Mm.. :3 prolly Anthin to do wif pain or blood.. >< Abby scared of pain cause her skin sensitive and she'll end up more scared than aroused.. ><

O = Orgasm Control: Would you give up your orgasms for somebody? Would you take them from somebody?

Only if Abby trusts that that person will take good care of Abby and give her equal amounts of treats if she's a good girl and holds her cummies in.. :3 and nop >< cummin is da best!! :3

T = Teasing: How much is just the right amount of teasing before somebody gets dicked down? And what are you favorite means of teasing?

Um.. >< depends on da person?.. :3 and Abby loves inteligens play lots and honestly she'd get more high from feelin stupid compared to actually bein bred.. ><

[1roentgen]

journal friday 18th october 2024

got home from class just in time before it started pouring. thunder is the loudest i’ve heard it in a while. didn’t have any money left so i walked from the bus stop, prolly round 4km or a little more. bangkok is moderately walkable if not for the pollution. today was ok tasks/ main agenda-wise but we did not do so well in the interpersonal department. i regret talking so much. but maybe this was good and necessary. i’m too sensitive, but i’m getting better. i was wrong to expect them to be somebody they weren’t, even as a friend. satisfaction/ happiness in life is about managing one’s expectations after all. in the end i have nobody but myself. i don’t know how i keep forgetting. i always think maybe if i let u into my mind a little you’d understand and then i wouldn’t be alone, but i have nobody in this world. i can just never get used to it. everything is perfect and i am the problem, an inkblot. i don’t know what’s wrong with me but something is. my life is perfect and i am black hole. And i can’t stop complaining 🤣🤣🤣

things i am looking forward to right now: oreos and a glass of cold milk. turning the AC on. petting my cat. reading something lighthearted. i need to proofread some more stuff and get paid for it but then i will sleep and that will be nice.

i just don’t feel like i have the willpower to keep living in this life but i don’t have a choice and no matter how little i try i’m always fine cuz i was born lucky, at Worst things will always be just okay, with a constant underlying feeling of vague disappointment.

i don’t wanna suffer but i feel like i deserve pain. when did i turn into such a pussy? or did i never develop the skills and mental fortitude you need to be a proper person in the world?

lessons learned today, shut the fuck up. for good, like really really. nobody gives a damn, stop expecting anyone to.* i don’t have to care about anyone or anything in particular either as long as i win in the end. and i will. fuck you, i will win. hope u get everything u want in life but so will i, and my dreams are so much bigger than yours. it’s good we’ll be parting ways.

i’m done with trying so hard to be compassionate to everyone when nobody gives a shit about how i feel. it literally doesn’t matter, and never did.

[thenixkat]

clipping. - Tipsy (Official Audio)

Lyrics:

[Intro: Dialogue Sample] "Thank you, my dear. Ahh. And an excellent vintage it is, too. But if you're implying that I'm tipsy, sir—" "Oh, of course he's not."

[Verse 1: Daveed Diggs] One, here come the two to the three to the four Everybody wrecked out on the dance floor Smelling like sex, tryna flex for the score Go 'head and bring the bottle, you ain't even gotta pour Neon lights is bright enough to make the eyes sore DJ got 'em hype enough, they crying for morе Crowd is turnt, they loud as fuck, the bass is like a roar This finna bе the night, they can feel it in they core Here come the three to the two to the one When the speakers clip, shit sound like a gun If the pussy don't pop, then it wasn't any fun And if you ain't come with squat, prolly you better run She in the mosh pit, going crazy with the scum He in the stall, sick, vision hazy from the rum If you make it out alive, bet your ears finna hum for a day and a half—now relax, have fun

[Chorus: Daveed Diggs] Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy (Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy) Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy (Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy) Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy (Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy) Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy (Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy) [Verse 2: Daveed Diggs] Two, here come the three to the four to the five If the music stop now, everybody prolly die Weed smoke in the ’rr, everybody prolly high "Oh you ain't? What, you think you better? Muh’fucker, bye" Somebody getting stomped 'cause his eyes looking sideways Crying like a bitch, took a hit off the high-grade And ran back in, balling fists, looking irate Grabbed that motherfucker, hung his ass off the fire escape Here come the four to the three to the two Somebody start crowdsurfing right out the blue Air getting thick, can't breathe, but it's cool Instead of living one life, you gon' need two Two chains, two shots, too drunk, 2Pac (Hit 'em up) Too late to stop, two more, do not— (Give a fuck) Today is lost, tomorrow not— (Gonna come) 'Til sun come up, tonight is to— (Get drunk)

[Chorus: Daveed Diggs] Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy (Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy) Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy (Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy) Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy (Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy) Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy (Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy)

[Verse 3: Daveed Diggs] Three, here come the four to the five to the six Stabbing bound to happen if you acting like you rich Or you was yapping to the cap'n, hear they clapping on a snitch And smack him ninety-nine times just for acting like a hctib Say it backwards for the radio or scratch it like a itch Matter-fact, do not come back if you are sensitive to Ish Not the white whale-chaser—straight shots, double-fist Next week same time, hit the line around six Way too savage on the average, daily, asses get the tips Next established, you the ratchetest They have to be the lick to hit for cabbage Need a carriage at the front, so what is Lyft? The shit is done before the sun come up, you know it's time to dip

[Chorus: Daveed Diggs] Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy (Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy) Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy (Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy) Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy (Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy) Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy (Everybody in this bitch gettin' tipsy)