#Postal Headcanons

[hopekreymin]

Just my headcanon.

[sil3ntfr34k]

Champ was probably a stray puppy P1 dude found dirty and weak in a ditch. Dude could relate to him, being all alone and weak, IMMEDIATELY snatched that little guy up and took him home.

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

Mr. and Mrs. Dude Headcanons: What Went Wrong? (Angst Warning)

The Postal Dude and The Bitch were married for about 7 years, dating for literally 10 months. The Dude met the Bitch at a club around ‘95. They grew up in Scottsdale. Her real name was Shannon [REDACTED].

Dude had been disowned by his step-father and the Bitch was in a rebellious phase. Both were seeking a need for constant validation and ego stroking, which was the catalyst of the toxicity yet to come.

It started off as a coming of age type of relationship. The Bitch was the first person to ever make Postal Dude feel wanted. Like he wasn’t some loser tumbleweeding across the desert. They were pretty much inseparable since day one. They shared their first kiss in a movie theater… and then she gave head in the back row.

Bitch got tattooed Dude’s name on her right boob. Dude had his favorite photo of her in his wallet: the two of them sharing a lighter for their cigarettes.

Their banter was a love language. It also reflected the part of Bitch he felt challenged by: her attitude. He thought he could tame her fiery ways. Her anger was kinda hot. Little would the Dude know it’d come to bite him in the ass down the line.

Dude was introduced to Bitch’s family. They didn’t like him one bit, except for a younger sister who thought he was pretty cute. Because Bitch’s parents were so pushy for their daughter to get married, no one stopped her.

The wedding was a church mass followed by a really fun reception! It seemed like the future was bright. Champ even got a slice of wedding cake.

The Bitch would get into a fight with her parents that left them on low contact. The “honeymoon” was a roadtrip to a music festival Uncle Dave hooked them up with. Life was sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll, baby!

The first year was the happiest year of their marriage. Both were too blinded by their shallow infatuation for each other to see that there was zero stability and depth in their foundation. They were two young people who rushed quickly into things. Peace didn’t bring them together. It was a drug for constant adrenaline that did. Marriage was the test that failed their relationship. Everyone’s the asshole in this situation.

Dude slacked way more once they tied the knot. Reality had set in that keeping a job was very hard with a criminal record. His lack of work ethic thus killed the bedroom for good. Or was it his erectile dysfunction?

The Bitch was no better herself. Her once playful teasing changed to harsh degradation. She would eat her feelings and did next to nothing in return, despite expecting Dude to “pick up after himself.” Nothing got cleaned, cooked or cared for. She didn’t get a job either because she was already working full-time to drive this man up a wall.

On a good day, they tolerate each other like roommates. But on a bad day? Expect broken plates and public disturbance to the neighborhood.

Their song was The Way by Fastball. Dude can’t listen to it anymore without thinking of her, so he hates it now.

After the nuke hit Paradise, she managed to get their marriage annulled by the church without telling him. This explains how she was able to attempt marrying her side piece: Jewish Mad Cow Demon Mike Jaret.

Dude doesn’t handle his tougher feelings well. He could acknowledge that the woman he loved never existed, but that’s too much to swallow. All that matters is he finally has peace and quiet. Just him, his dog and the trailer. Thank God!

[m43d4y]

For fun here is how I imagine the dudelings would react to getting hugged by Peepaw (P4)

Again this is mostly just for fun so don't take it super seriously (altho there are some serious topics) it's just pretty much my personal headcanons for their personalities :)!!

-P1-

Peepaw is literally the only person he trusts in this fucked up world, no one else but the old man takes his paranoia seriously and genuine tries to help him through it. So if gramps were to give him a hug he would immediately latch on, death grip on his robe anywhere his hands rest with his head burried in his chest. He can't say anything in his moment, just accepting the warm embrace of the one man in this world who cares about him, his parents didn't... Not even the other Dudes. So he would fully welcome it, probably crying into his clothes if his emotions overwhelm him. But more often than not he will be fully quiet, as if he was a kid hiding in a closet trying to make his breathing as quiet as possible.

-P2-

Any sort of physical contact makes this man tense up, so a hug would not be any different. Although rather strangely he wouldn't push him away, simply standing in place with his arms flush to his sides. Sure he would be telling the old man to fuck off or acting like he hates it but a small part of him knows he needs it. Or may he does hate it, maybe he'll immediately push Peepaw off and say something about he's not some sissy who needs to be coddled. It really depends on his mood, but most of the time he will resist and be all grumbly about it. He just hates physical contact pretty much.

-P3-

Mr carefree and snarky would be all the same, laughing and making jokes the entire time as if it doesn't effect him at all. It's just a hug! He has no reason to get all angry or emotional about it! But rather notably he wouldn't be hugging back... He'd just stand there laughing and saying how the old man can stop... But he doesn't. And the longer this goes on the sooner the man's internal feelings will show. Telling Peepaw how he didn't need his cheap affection, no more laughter and no more jokes as he's trying his hardest to contain himself. All he wants is to be seen and heard... And as soon as he gets it he doesn't know what to do with it. He hates getting choked up...

BONUS!! -Other Dude-

Nothing. Absolutely no reaction. Not even a joke, no anger, no nothing. Maybe mocking laughter at the start but after that he'll go deathly quiet. He genuinely feels nothing about this, he'll only let it go on for a while longer before letting the old man's blood soaked body fall to the ground.

[hals-homo-blog]

Giving Postal 2 Dude a Bath

P2 Bath Anon I hope you see this. I thought your idea was really cute and I wanted to do some nice hcs of my own for it q v q I really hope you see this. I see you, you are funny and nice and ily. (/pla)

HE’S FUCKIGN STINKY! The stink had CROSSED the line, and Reader needs that man warshed NNNNOWWWW‼️‼️

Really, it depends how close you two are, how deep into the relationship you are, etc :3c Earlier on? Good luck, he’s not gonna have anything to do with that. He’s still gonna be mostly closed off from having the previous relationship be So Very Shitty.

Later on, though? After you’ve been together a few years? After he trusts you and is more comfortable with you? I think he would begrudgingly allow it. He knows he reeks to high heaven and something needs to be done about it. Your nudging about it would push him over the edge to Just get it Over with.

You’ll have better luck if you propose the idea of bathing together as opposed to just you giving him a bath like a Stinky Dog :3c however Stinky and Dog-like he may be. You had better believe he’s gonna be naughty about it >:3c Thats prolly why he agreed in the first place. The water ain’t the only thing that’s gonna be steamy in there. >:3c

You would definitely have the best luck if he was stoned or drunk or otherwise altered. He’s already looking to feel good, hence being altered, and the nice hot water with your fingers massaging the shampoo into his scalp, giving him lots of attention, definitely fits the bill.

Ok, as for Not High and Not Sexy, he’s still hesitant about it, like the previous writer mentioned, he is a grown-ass man I can see it being like those classic cartoon cat-baths where he wedges his limbs against the tub so he doesn’t get wet.

He very well may bite you, Anon. >:3c Don’t scrub too hard or let the soap get in his eyes (The sunglasses stay ON during bath time 😤) otherwise it’s a one way ticket to Chomp Town. I hope you had your rabies vaccination, pookie. <3

I think it would be a nice, intimate thing in the end, building trust, deepening the relationship, showing Dude that you’re different, this relationship is different and that this sort of vulnerability is ok.

Enjoy Clean Dude while he lasts, because you’re not coaxing him back in there for a loooong time. Dude is stinky, that is his natural state, he will soon return to it and bring balance back to the universe.

BONUS HEADCANON: From my good friend @spiderh0rse, if he’s Stinky and Doglike, HIT HIM WITH THE HOSE!!

Somebody has drawn this meme with the Dude, right? Surely. Surely someone has, I feel like I’ve seen it lol.

Hhh I hope you enjoy!! I haven’t really done a headcanons thingy like this before, so I hope it came out ok.

I mean no disrespect to the writer who was originally given this prompt q v q I just thought there were a lot of funny and sweet story opportunities that were missed out on, and I wanted to explore them a bit. I apologize if my making this comes off as rude or mean 🙏 /gen

I do think the Dude is capable of tenderness and/or non-sexual intimacy, it just takes a lot, a LOT, more work to get there for the s/o, y/n, reader, etc.

[duckydemons]

was thinking about champ..

my personal hc is that the bitch convinced the dude to get a puppy (when he didn’t want to) because she wanted a kinda like.. nuclear family type thing

and eventually, the dude became a “dad and the dog he didn’t want” trope cause he starts to realise that champ wants to be around him and is happy around him - as does any regular dog - as the bitch gets more moody and well, bitchy and stops giving him affection as much

so when the marriage officially falls apart at the start of apocalypse weekend, he just steals champ cause he’s all the dude really cares about, hence why he goes looking for him in like every single postal game.

and obviously, he loves champ so much more than the bitch to the extent that he literally refuses to get back with her even when she apologises at the end of paradise lost (pacifist run only) so..

in conclusion, champ and dude, my sillies ever

[transfrogwithcoolsocks]

My postal headcanon?

Postal dude plays the drums and hes fucking good at it

Its a good stress relief for him :)

[napsfork-brainrot]

hcs of what Postal Dude has done in the past and WILL do again if not monitored

Eaten glass

Touched fire with his bare hands.

Tried Champ's dog treats and food before. (had to get his stomach pumped, rip)

Has pissed on public property (obvs)

The Cat Incidents™

Stole pennies from many, MANY fountains and wells.

Tried, and failed, to catch a bird with his own hands.

Attempted to cow-tip but couldn't push the cow over and had the cops called on him.

Attempted to throw his own jarate at people, TF2 style.

Attempted to eat a whole dill pickle and failed, he is NOT the throat goat.

Eaten out of Champ's food bowl because he didn't want to do dishes.

Stole, and continues to steal, Krotchy dolls from any Wal-Mart he enters.

He's probably escaped jail before, I don't know and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.

[deth-of-a-junkie]

i have a lot of postal dude headcanons, so ive split them up.

so heres my postal 1 dude headcanons

p1 dude has a special interest on the jets and weaponry used in ww2 and the vietnam war, but also the U.S military as a whole. he specifically likes to collect vintage U.S military memorabilia and propaganda. he can go on for hours about the faults of the government and government greed and corruption, he hates the system. he also knows a lot about JFK assassination theories and will go on for hours about them.

oh yeah. postal 1 dude is autistic.

he also has a spin on guns. he knows them all by name and loves to learn about different manufacturers and how each one are built. he knows how to deconstruct them and put them back together. he even has some guns he's made himself. legal? probably not. he doesnt care.

p1 dude also prefers reading in books for information instead of searching the web for them, so amongst the mess of his house is just piles upon piles of books.

p1 dude also is great at poetry. he loves writing too, which is why i think he started his diaries.

he also loves drawing! he loves going out and drawing scenery the most, he also likes drawing nude figures. he finds the human body to be interesting.

p1 dude is religious. im divided on if i see him as someone whos spiritually aligned closer to catholics (though i wouldnt call him a straight up catholic, he doesn't like the church.) or pagen.

talking about pagen dude, correct me if im wrong, i dont know much about pagenism (but ive been trying to learn more as of recent), but he specifically worships greek gods. out of the gods, his favorite is ares.

he hangs around poostall dude a lot. they arent really friends, they're kinda opposites of each other, but poostall looks up to him as a mentor in philosophy among other things.

he used to be active in his local punk scene when he was younger. he has a lot of cds and tapes of obscure bands that almost no one has heard of.

he loves metal more then anything though, and he also has a large collection of horror films (all on vhs, a few of dvd. he doesnt have his dvd player plugged in so he only uses it if he has too. also refused to buy blueray. if its the only option he burns it onto a disk himself.).

his favorite genres of metal are melodic death metal and prog metal. i would also say dsbm but i feel like thats too corny. he loves opeth. also death.

he's non-speaking most of the time by choice. the older he's gotten the more he started to isolate himself, and he usually chooses to ignore people when theyre talking and not respond at all, mainly just people who ask for directions and stuff on the street he'll just ignore. he just doesnt feel the need too, he likes to stay invisible.

talking about that, he hates leaving his house. it used to be because of anxiety but it slowly became due to his other mental health issues getting worse, especially his fear of everyone being out to get him/everyone else being demons/whatever your interpretation of his reasonings behind postal 1 is.

3 in one shampoo. also uses hand soap to shave instead of shaving cream. also uses hand soap to wash his face...

he needs glasses. his sunglasses also has his normal prescription lenses in them, his eyes are sensitive to light so he chose to make them sunglasses too (i believe this is possible. if its not, well it is now). he also has a 2nd pair that are just normal glasses, he uses them only to read or when he's walking around his house at night. (this is totally not me self reflecting with the realization that i just found out i need glasses..../s)

I DONT KNOW HOW I FORGOT TO MENTION but also has a special interest on nuclear disasters, nuclear power plants, and radiation. theyre not separate theyre all apart of one fixation that branches off the core idea of nuclear power. like he cant have one without the other. if that makes sense.

also uses he/they. he doesnt out right say it, he doesnt use social media so its not like, in a bio or anything. he just naturally picked it up. will also accept she being used to refer to himself, but is not something he states publicly or asks people to do. he was surrounded by the queer community growing up as most of his highschool friends were apart of the community so he just one day realized he wasnt opposed to it being used in reference to himself.

he is an ASSHOLE. he used to be more considerate in his youth but the older he got the grumpier he got. he is SCARY when he insults someone. like he will have an entire ass speech of him just degrading someone until they literally have nothing left to say for themselves.

doesnt get angry though. he's calm when hes upset and frustrated, or will straight up just make fun of and make harsh jokes about the situation (i mean that like. if he gets into a disagreement with someone on the street he will laugh at them and mock them by teasing them. thats what i mean.)

[strangekidstuff]

My (not that interesting) Postal Dude headcanon: He looks older (even in his 20s) not only because of drug use and stress, but also because this mf has never seen a sunscreen in his entire life, Dude thinks he doesn't need it.

[absolutelybatty]

So P2 Dude in the gimp suit is flat as a board

PBD Dude has a dump truck ass in his hospital gown

So is his internal sense of himself just caked up for no reason?

[sil3ntfr34k]

very politely on my hands and knees asking for an postal headcanons you have i adore your writing

More Postal Headcanons!!!1!!1!

(also im doing mostly P1 bc he's infecting my head meat with his worms)

The day that P1 Dude snapped and killed everyone was because he thought someone was following him, which he wasn't wrong. Someone was following home, but he just never gets out so he didn't know that it was just someone who lived in his neighborhood. INSTANTLY thought that the 'infected one's' where finally gonna kill him.

P1 wears a trench coat bc it makes him feel safe. It covers most of his body and has a lot of pockets to put his trinkets and weapons in.

P1 also loved English class when he was younger. Read a lot of books before his love for literature lead him to read about more graphic things like war documentaries and medical books sometime in middle school

Dude relies heavily on Champ. Since he sometimes sees things that aren’t there, he looks at Champ and tries to motion to what he’s seeing. If Champ doesn’t react he knows that what he’s seeing is fake, and vice versa of Champ doesn’t react. Dude has a really hard time handling himself if Champ isn’t with him, which is why having a day job for him is extremely hard.

Doesn't listen to music, raw dogs life. He knows popular artist like Taylor Swift and stuff, but just knows the name, he do has no idea who's face is who's or anything. Just the name

P2 Dude actually enjoys killing people! He has his calm moments, but nothing makes him happier than shooting someone's head off just for giving him rattitude. Very self-liberating to 'put an asshole in his place'

P4 dude is so ready to settle already. After everything he's been through, he wants to just have a stable place to call home and have someone who will take care of him bc GOD KNOWS he can't do it himself.

Champ is older with p4 Dude, so Dude tries to play with him at least a little a day and give him a treat when he can't spend time with him bc he know's champ's life is probably gonna end soon

Postal Dude is just that trope where he starts off too energetic and wild and then calms down later in life. It's probably annoying but it's the best for him.

[consumed-by-fandom]

This could apply to all the dudes but I’m thinking specifically P2 here.

A lot of Dude’s acting out seems to be in retaliation a lot of the time. Someone pulls a gun out on him, he does the same. Someone insults him, he does the same. Even just being mildly inconvenienced makes his brain go on the attack. It’s almost like he’s never learned to brush things off, although he believes that’s what he’s doing. He can take pain and trauma easily supposedly, but in reality he really isn’t. Something to do with his hatred of vulnerability, can’t be seen as weak and just being hurt over and over like a stress toy so he’s always gotta hit back harder. Brush aside the things that would normally make others scared and afraid, and use violence as the answer for everything.

It’s a lot of repression I think. It’s his response to everything because maybe before that was never an option for him. He wasn’t allowed to choose his response, always forced to be a doormat if his relationship with the Bitch is anything to go by. It’s like a child who’s been told they can punch the bobo doll if they want and no one will stop them. And Dude doesn’t seem to care about consequence enough to believe in anyone stopping him.

Peace and forgiveness isn’t a concept he’s all too aware of I think. He’s capable of it and even prefers it, absolutely, but he’s so quick to accept violence and getting revenge that I’m guessing he’s been hounded by the same people in his past over and over and being told to not fight back never solved anything. But fighting back does. Fighting back makes other people afraid. And I think he likes people being afraid of him. It’s safe.

I think its very easy to overlook P2 sometimes from a psychological standpoint simply because he’s very good as masking how he really feels. And he’s very good at painting himself as just a nutjob everyman who responds to every situation however he wants. But its never really been explained why. And I don’t think its just taking too much bullshit and snapping. He’s done this before, just perhaps to less of a degree than the week in Postal 2. Siiiigh my brain suffers from terminal Dude brainrot

[qrttt-takk]

Postal Doe x F!Reader HC's

(I fell in love with her from the moment I saw a poostall royale playthrough, she's like a smelly ferret to me (⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡)

🏷️: SFW & NSFW, Established relationship, Just really deranged topics...

SFW

-Doe is really protective of you, she won't outwardly show it though but you can definitely catch it through her actions (having her arm around you, giving everyone else but you a mean look, ECT)

-She's gross. Super gross. If you're with her you're either gross too or into it. Doe can go like maybe 1 week and a half without a shower, realistically she would only shower more frequently to impress you

-She watches LiveLeak videos for fun and also has a shit ton of gory movies on DVD, if you're into that then she'll always invite you to her trailer to watch some but if you aren't she's cool with watching normal stuff or movies at the nearby theatre

-Doe has the shittiest diet known to earth, if you get with her you'll probably feel real bad and start cooking her homemade meals, a major upgrade from her dollar store tv meals (she thanks you in many ways)

-She likes to sleep a lot, longer than you at least, it gives you the opportunity to tidy up her place and maybe do her laundry. Doe has a knack to neglect herself but you do try convincing her not to.

-Despite being pretty deranged, Doe actually has really decent advice if you're struggling through something. She takes both logic and emotion into consideration and does try supporting you and your decisions

She encourages you if you're prone to have self-esteem issues, she tells you just how wonderful and amazing you are and how she's lucky to have someone like you

-Super big on pet names, she calls you a bunch of random things but her main ones are, "Sweetheart", "Darling", "My Girl"

-She likes showing off her dumb arm tattoo thinking it makes her 10x more badass and cool (it does not)

-Doe has really light green eyes, she's kinda insecure about them so that's why she always wears her signature sunglasses. When she has them off she's always squinting and darting her eyes around, not even trying to make eye contact

-She's a smartass, and pretty sarcastic. Sometimes you can't tell if she's fucking with you or not so 70% you're taking her bait, by the time you figure out her deal you've already spiraled into a dumb meaningless argument,

"You know, sometimes we shouldn't take things for granite"

"...You mean granted?"

"What? What are you talking about I know what I said"

-Something so god awful and traumatizing can happen to her and she'll chalk it up as "just not a good day", Doe frequently comes over to your place with a shit ton of questionable bruises and wounds, you patch her up distraught but she kisses you and strokes your hair telling you not to worry

-She likes popping all your hand and toe joints despite how much it hurts, it's a bonding activity

-Play wrestling with you all the time, either at her trailer or your apartment the bed is gonna need to be refitted, you always get your ass put in a headlock but you're not a sore loser. Afterwards you always tell her she needs to get on WWE ᕙ⁠(⁠ ⁠:⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠∧⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠:⁠ ⁠)⁠ᕗ

-She loves pickles on her burgers, if you hate them and make it known sometimes she eats like 5 of them at once and french kisses you with the pickle flavor on her tongue, it makes you gag so bad but she cackles like it's the funniest thing ever. If you do love pickles though then she gives most of hers to you (she's such a good gf)

-Doe is definitely taller than you, her boots just add more to her ridiculous height, she likes to carry you and give you piggyback rides...it's fun until she trips and lands face first on the floor with you (⁠´⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠ω⁠°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥⁠｀⁠)

-When you tell her she kinda looks like that one chick from resident evil she either has passionate sex with you or beats you to a bloody pulp no in between (she's crazy)

NSFW

-Doe is definitely into public humiliation, she'll touch you whenever she wants wherever... your reactions and sounds are really cute to her and she'd want to elicit more from you. One day she gets you to wear vibrating panties, it was probably one of the most exciting days of your life

-Shes willing to kill anyone you want gone, of course she wouldn't go crazy or anything but if there's a coworker at your job you've been complaining about for ages she'll ask you if you want them to "disappear" for good. You're well aware that this woman needs to be in an institution but it just makes her sexier

-Doe has a good gun collection, and a gun kink. If you're into it and down to try she'll fuck you with the barrel of her favorite handgun, threatening to pull the trigger and make a fucking mess that you'll be alive long enough to feel and witness

-She's down to try anything. Like, anything. If you have a kink you want to do 9 times out of 10 she's willing to try it out, anything for her sweetheart

-Piss kink. Did you seriously expect any less? The 3rd time she went down on you it was crazy, you begged her that you had to go to the bathroom but it just encouraged her to hold you down by the thighs and coax the piss out of your overstimulated cunt, she made sure not to spill a drop as you bucked and whined against her relentless mouth

-Doe has way too many toys, some you're pretty sure you haven't seen ever in your life... she'd rather blow her paycheck on something crazy she found on Reddit rather than groceries (you give her a bunch of shit once you find out)

ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

Hope you guys enjoyed, not enough people make content about this crazy doe...she deserves love too (⁠人⁠*⁠´⁠∀⁠｀⁠)⁠｡⁠*ﾟ⁠+ .... Definitely not done with her, planning to make an X reader drabble eventually

[qwuilty]

Also something ive been stirring on a little but mini headcanon post, what i imagine the main dudes (+ movie dude) wearing besides just Their Fit

I list their time of release since i generally imagine the games take place around the same time (also i dont know brands but like. Assume theyre wearing a knock off if there is any |D)

Postal 1 Dude (1997):

He naturally gravitates towards shirts with longer sleeves, baggy army style pants, and anything that obscures his form more than reveals it. Hes one of the more prone to body issues group out of the dudes, so its just better for his comfort.

Though Postal 1 takes place in 1997, i imagine his fashion sense kind of lags behind the trends for three main reasons: 1) Costs too much to keep up, 2) He legitmately doesnt really understand whats "in" until its already "out", and 3) he tends to buy a lot of his clothes second hand anyways.

Postal 2 Dude (2003):

Postal 2 dude has probably one of the smallest closets out of any dude, hes the kind to wear the same outfit for several days, spending excess money isnt really his thing. (Thats good health pipe money after all.)

What he lacks in amount compared to p1 he makes up for in being more comfortable in his body. Comparatively so at least. He wears a lot of old band t-shirts, tank tops, band shirts turned INTO tank tops. The nicest pair of shorts he owns are those tripp style ones, and thats because he stole them off of a guy who tried to mug him once.

Also yes. He wears those socks AND sandals at the same time.

Postal 3 Dude (2011):

For this one i get to explain how i imagine Postal 3's place in the canon, yay!

So i imagine Postal 3 as sort of an eternal repeating scenario in 2's head for that time in the coma, a sort of never ending adventure in a looping sandbox for p3 until he woke up. And while p3 does get that bonus of wearing whatever he'd like as more of a mental being... It also means he's got eternal 2011 fashion.

He wears a lot of cheesy shirts of the time, probably being one of few Dudes youd ever find in skinny jeans. His clothing choices are a little "douchey" to explain the vibe, but he enjoys it at least. If more so thinking about him showing up around p4's time, he shifts to more of a Step Dad type feel.

Postal 4 Dude (2022):

In a better mental state after divorcing his wife (in a rather.. explosive way and all) and calming down more in his later years, p4 has picked up a very "Fuck it, we ball" approach to fashion. He mixes and matches with little regard for appearance, more so how it feels on him. A lot of his clothes are also thrifted, and he loves picking out the more... interesting ones.

I couldnt find it on the editor i use, but i imagine him and p2 would wear those kind of shirts you find with an airbrushed on copyrighted character and someones name on it. And no, its not even his name.

Postal Movie Dude (2008):

And finally as a little bonus, i imagine movie dude's fashion is one of the more "normal" ones. He does a lot of walking for errands so he tends to pick lighter, more sporty clothes and he trends towards lighter colors.

His fashion is also partially due to Uncle Dave's influence, more 70s inspiration, tiedye shirts, maybe even a bracelet or a necklace from Dave for helping him out here and there.

[arl3kinka]

Hello :D do you have any p1 Dude headcanons?

hi hi.

oh boy, I thought I had a few, but after I sat down to write them just realized I might have a bit too much more than what I’ve expected, haha.

POSTAL 1 DUDE; headcanons

first of all! some headcanons make reference of how he was before the first game, so trying to apply them to the guy who’s terrified, sitting on the floor while hugging his gun would be pretty useless

also, if instead of a hyphen there’s a star it’s to address DID in Dude (I don’t have DID myself and I’m not close to somebody who has DID, all I know is from research I’ve done myself, so if there’s something wrong please tell me.

if you’re not into the DID idea just ignore the stars.

anyway, here we go:

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

— Before what happened in 1997 I think he was still a disaster, but a bit more functional.

I’m not gonna dig a lot into how he was while growing up, but he’s an only child that comes from a christian yet dysfunctional family, so after he finally had enough saved money and the legal age he moved to another city (not Paradise) to start again and never looked back, probably with a bit of help coming from Uncle Dave, the only family member that cared about him.

★ P2’s been with him since he was a kid/pre-teen. P1 doesn’t really knows who or what P2 is and at first is pretty much afraid, thinking he’s a demon of some kind. But after a while and seeing how he stands up for him (when he’s unable to defend himself, make friends, etc) and he’s not really trying to harm him he relaxes for a bit.

— He’s always been pretty much a loner, but not to the point to isolate himself completely. He had a tiny group of friends who were also as “weird” as he was who were also into the alternative/goth subculture. Those were probably the best years of his life.

But still, following the last point, I also think he’s one of those people that when they feel bad they isolate themselves for some time and then come back like nothing happened. It usually worked, until it didn’t.

— I have no idea of where I readed I don’t know if it was the Wiki, TV Tropes, in a reddit comment or somewhere else but I think that during the development of “Postal” the Postal Dude was around 27 years old. I don’t know if it’s true, but I’ll go with that.

And, to add some more flavor, I don’t remember if it was Tumblr or Reddit, but somebody had the headcanon that the 14 of November, the day the first game begins, it’s also the Postal Dude’s birthday.

I can’t remember who had such a good idea but I love it way too much, I love angst with all my heart so now it’s my headcanon too.

(if I see the original headcanon again I’ll give credits to the person)

— [ tw // mentions of drugs ] Definitely smokes both cigarettes and weed, but the last one just from time to time. Has tried acid or mushrooms but rather stick to weed.

He hasn’t done crack or anything too heavy, not before 1997.

— He has little to no idea of how to cook. He can do some basic stuff to survive, and he has tried following a recipe in the past, but it’s definitely not his best . Not like he enjoys it either.

— His body: pretty tall. He has a bit of a complex with his height, finding clothes of his size can be complicated and it’s a bit awkward too.

His body is a bit built (he does some work out because of the idea that somebody can attack him at any moment is enough to make him try to learn some self defense alone in his room). Compared to P2 he's has more corporal mass, but not as much as P3 would have. He's an in between. Not skinny but not fat either.

He’s also pretty pale. Not because he can’t get tanned or anything, but because he would rather go out when the sun is already setting or during night or, in general, prefers to stay at his house.

In general he’s one of those people you see on the street and catch your attention: it’s not always that you see a really tall guy with long ginger hair.

— He doesn’t cut his hair because he likes how it looks on him but also because he’s too lazy (and anxious) to go to a hairdresser. He sometimes cuts it himself, and since he has no idea there have been times it ends up disastrous, but since I think his hair is a bit wavy it doesn’t look really bad.

He also doesn’t maintains it really well, he only uses shampoo and, maybe, one of those 3 in one bottles and that’s all. If it’s really cold he dries it with the hairdryer, but rarely does so.

— His handwriting is HORRIBLE. Not like if it’s like hieroglyphics, you can read it, but it’s just really ugly (the diary/war journal entries is how he writes, but since he was pretty stressed and scared it’s a bit more agitated). Also makes too much pressure, not to the point of ripping of the paper but you can feel it on the other face of the sheet surface if you brush it with your hand.

Likes to write for himself, it’s therapeutic and the best way to cope, the less harmful to himself too.

— Following the last point he also likes to make some doodles, especially when bored. Nothing too serious though, the typical thing you do when you’re in class bored and you only have a pen in hand and a paper. You’ll see plenty of them that decorate his notes and diaries. They’re a bit chaotic, his traces being a bit messy.

— If he was accepted in RWS he might have some knowledge about the videogame industry or related. Not sure of what, probably graduated in some studies about it. Maybe a programmer? I dunno.

— Definitely neurodivergent. Either autistic or ADHD. Or both.

His main interests being weapons, movies and videogames. Predilect genres? Terror and horror. He’s not much of a reader though.

On a side note, easily overwhelmed with people he’s not close with touching him (or in general, he’s not opposed to it but would rather if the other person asked for permission) and large crowds, and the main reason he wears he started wearing sunglasses it’s because sensitivity to bright lights.

Still, he’s undiagnosed so he has no clue why he’s like that and why can’t he be normal, sometimes thinking he’s a bit dramatic. His group of friends also had other neurodivergent people who he could rely on so he didn’t feel that bad after all.

— He hated going to clubs for that same reason, even the more alt ones. Too much noise and people. He probably went there because of his friends and enjoyed it for a little while, but would’ve rather been doing anything else.

★ P2 liked it more than him, so when they made plans with their friends he was the one who was in control most part of the time.

— He’s the kind of person that I think would listen to pretty much everything, but definitely his favorite genre is hard rock and metal and its sub-genres: goth metal, black metal, grunge, industrial, you name it. Maybe nu metal it’s not really his thing.

Still, he jams pretty much everything so you could catch him singing a Spicegirls song and he would deny it with his life.

★ It’s in fact P2 who prefers nu metal and wouldn’t care what he’s listening to. Would probably tease P1 about it though.

P2: “You’re listening to Madonna? I thought you didn’t liked pop”

P1: “...shut it”

p2: “Whatever you say edgelord… "LIKE A VIRGIN JUST, LIKE THE VERY FIRST TIME- ♪"”

— He’s bisexual, but still in the closet and pretty deep in there. He has done a few things with other guys but nothing too serious or further than making out probably. Partly because he has some internalized homophobia from the family he comes from (in himself! would never judge or care is one of his close ones was in the queer community) and because generally he sucks at dating.

★ Again, P2 is more open about it than him, and probably the one who had those interactions with other guys, but since P1 was not really uncomfortable with the subject he never went too far.

P2 tried to talk to him about it, but P1 just refuses.

— Also, how did I forgot to mention this? Religious trauma.

Now, he has a weird relationship with his christianity and beliefs, his morals, and how he views himself since he was teached to be a good christian, and he kinda wants to be good at the eyes of God, but at the same time he’s into too many stuff his parents told him they were satanic and bad. He has mixed emotions about it, it’s like he wants to let it go, but he’s unable to do so.

To him the cross he carries around his neck is not for the aesthetic, but he’s not because he’s a good christian either. And when he’s feeling at his worst? It’s like a dog collar, reminding him how all the trauma his family beliefs have harmed him, but at the same time he cannot let it go for some reason. It’s like an abusive relationship both with himself and with his religion, if he even believes in it. It’s complicated to understand? He’s just as confused as you are.

Maybe the problem it’s not the religion itself, maybe it was his family and now because of them he can’t really feel comfortable praying (even if he sometimes finds himself doing so on the nights of rough days) or having a normal relationship with his christianity. Whatever it is, he’s traumatized.

★ And P2 doesn't helps either. He just does not cares about it and when he sees P1 having a breakdown about it, knowing how hard the subject is for him, just prefers to not to get involved, because, anyways, what can he do to help him? He just does not know either, it’s something he has to resolve himself. He cannot help him in everything.

P1 sometimes has called P2 a demon during his attacks, and even if he just ignores it it’s true that it can get annoying after all the times he has tried to help him, and every time they had a fight about it P1 ended up worse, so P2 decided to not get involved any more time for that too.

— I think he’s both shy and introverted, but don’t misinterpret me; not shy in a cute bean who gets all nervous and blushy. No. More in the staring at the person like if he was a deer in front of the lights of a car type of shyness, trying not to get too nervous, and after a few seconds he responds to whatever that person said or asked, hoping it wasn’t too cringy or awkward. He usually gets like that when he’s interested in a person (doesn’t matter if it’s platonic or romantic) and doesn’t want them to get weirded out by him

More introverted than shy, that’s for sure.

— If he’s having a good day his neutral face just looks tired, in his worst I doubt anybody would be able to get to see him because in those days he locks himself in his house and refuses to go out, but if it’s the case (probably the clerk of a shop because he ran out of food) it’s a mix of anger and fear (mainly due paranoia and hallucinations, trying to put and angry face to make the others don’t bother him).

— He could be INFJ (Ni Fe Ti Se) or INTJ (Ni Te Fi Se). If that was the case I think it would be due to Se grip.

I could go more into details because I really enjoy MBTI and see how its functions work on fictional characters.

★ Not the same as P2 of course, but that's a story for another day.

— Pretty much stoic, but on the inside? A mess of emotions he does not know how to untangle correctly. He can get emotional when he’s alone, but that’s a part nobody would ever see of him. He’s not going to let anybody see him in such a vulnerable and weak state.

— Now, returning to the main point. I could really go into details of what or why I think it could have happened for him to literally go postal, but I think the main point is that he moved to Paradise trying to escape from his life. And you may ask “but you said those were the happiest years of his life!” yep, completely, but there can be a few things that alone could have been bad but tolerable, but too many of them make them unbearable: maybe he distanced himself from his friends, had to move somewhere cheaper because of money, his mental health going downhill, etc.

The thing is, he moved to Paradise, and it was probably his worst mistake.

Uncle Dave lived there, that’s why he chose that city, but even with that he had almost no contact with him besides the first few days? He was on his own, alone again.

— Ironically, I think he actually worked for a post office. It’s the only job he could find.

— Both his physical and mental state got way worse. He’s never been a really healthy person, but still tried to take care of himself at least a bit. Going out only when heavily necessary and, after a while, not even going to work anymore. That's when he really ran out of money and got the terrifying letter: he got evicted of his “safe place”. Was his house even a safe place at this point? He couldn’t feel safe anywhere anymore.

He could have called Uncle Dave, but at this point? He was just so disconnected with reality he didn’t know what to do.

★ P2 saw him fall and had no idea of what to do at this point. He was tired of trying to help him so he just ignored. P1 felt so bad that, even if he find P2 annoying at times it was the last thing he needed, the last familiar thing he had disappeared hurts him to the core.

— [ tw // mentions of self-harm ] Even if writing in his journal really helped him to calm down during bad days it doesn’t mean he didn’t do other more harmful things to himself when he was at his worst. Before moving to Paradise he handled it better, he was able to tone it down pretty much since he moved from his parent’s house, but after everything got so overwhelming again? He doesn’t know any better. And the worst part of it? Finds it both comforting and thinks that he deserves all this suffering. For everything. For moving away from his parents, maybe they were right after all. For being a bad christian, God, if he hasn’t done it already, would probably turn his back the day he has to pass Heaven's gates. For after being so happy and having friends and thinking he was getting better and how he throwed all out the windows. It’s all his fault, and he knows it, but he can’t bring himself to do anything, not even therapy, and cannot call his friends. Nothing. The world’s still going on without him. He just feels like when he was a kid, but worse.

★ And here’s where he appears: the Other Dude (to me not the same as P3). He’s shows him his most intrusive thoughts, those who make him feel sick. OD slowly persuaded him to do horrible things not to himself, but the others. He’s twisted and manipulated everything, every little hope he had. P1 confused P2 with OD at this point, and was the one who made P1 get out of his house after a really long time, but with a gun in his hand, ready to kill everybody who made him feel so miserable and worthless. At this point he’s just gone.

At first, ironically, P2 tried to get in the middle of it, a bit confused of what or who OD was. Why he was so similar to himself? How long has he been there? But even OD persuaded him at some point.

Both P1 and P2 were tired of the way they were living and feeling. So why not change it?

I’m not sure who’s the one who got out of the house ready to cause a massacre, if P1, P2 or OD, but the thing is they all agreed at some point.

— I know this is going to be a bit weird, but I don’t think the whole game stages are real? It sounds weird, but let me explain: you really think a guy who has been locked inside his house for so long, having horrible hallucinations, almost no sleep (and if he had any, probably full of nightmares), not taking care of himself is really going to go too far? It does not matter how many weapons he may carry, it’s practically impossible.

Maybe the first 2 or 3 stages, but not much more before the police/militars/whoever it was got him at some point. The others only happened in his head, his mind going ahead of him, overthinking, and lately, his guilt getting over him.

By this I’m not saying he’s less of a horrible person, he did what he did and it’s sickening, it does not matter how bad he was feeling, killing people who have nothing to do with you and your problems is not the answer. Even if they were the cause, it’s not the solution.

— Leaving aside that all the “Postal” games are usually a parodies of real life and black humor (asides from the first game and “Postal Redux”) and taking it for something more serious, I don’t think “Postal Dude” it’s the name of the Postal Dude.

It was a nickname given both by the survivors of the massacre and the media.

— Also, after what he did he was everywhere. In the newspapers, in the TV, in the radio. That’s how Uncle Dave and the group of friends he had back in the city he lived before found out. But how could he? He was such a nice, quiet guy… he wouldn’t hurt a fly!

His group of friends, who since he moved without saying anything, didn’t pick up their calls and in general ignored them and decided it was for the best to just let it be.

Uncle Dave, on the other side he was worried. What the hell happened during all those years they were separated? It couldn’t be something he decided overnight, there had to be something more, right?

— He got his hair shaved at the asylum. After that he didn’t had it that long in his whole life.

— He got locked in the asylum, and being locked in there, alone again with his thoughts, it was dead of him. Metaphorically speaking.

★ P1 went dormant, refusing to think of what he has done, or at least accepted to do. He couldn't take all that blame, it was impossible. Every time he remembers it he wants to puke. He now really want to be dead. There’s no way he can redeem himself from that, God definitely has abandoned him. OD also disappeared. He just provoked all of this and now what? He accomplished what he wanted, where is he? He bring out the worst part of P1, was he trying to corrupt him and breaking him was not in the plan or was the plan breaking him from the start?

Whatever it was left P2 alone, also feeling guilty of what he has done. He does not feel as bad as P1 but he also cannot feel happy as OD probably feels. What they’ve done it’s horrible, but how OD manipulated them to do it? Even worse. Even for P2 whose morality is more gray-ish than P1s.

He hates it, he’s locked in there with the hallucinations and barely speaks to P1 because he’s completely broken and refuses to do so. Now it’s the other way around. He’s growing resentful to him too for that, they’re both cupid, can he at least make him some company? Like he did when P1 was a child too? It’s unfair.

He has something clear though: if OD ever shows his ass again he will NOT let get on him like he did. And even if he’s annoyed at P1, not even him.

— After some time Uncle Dave brings himself to visit him. At first it was so grim. Dude felt so horrible for his actions he couldn’t bring himself to even look at him, but after some more visits, therapy and meds he started to light up a really tiny bit. It was something.

★ It was not really him, P1 was pretty much not wanting to know anything from the external world, it was P2 who decided to take the lead. P1 didn’t wanted to live anymore? Fine, he would take his chance then. To live the life he never could since he’s always been on P1 mind, rarely being the one in control.

Maybe he was pretending, or maybe he genuinely wanted to get better, but the thing was: he wanted to get out of there, if there was a chance to do so, he would try it. At first do what the workers said, and if that didn’t work he would escape. He does not care. He wants to try to live.

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

okay I got a bit too carried away- I’m sorry-

hope you liked them! I’m not really skilled nor do I have practice when it comes to creating headcanons about characters even if I have a few ideas.

I’m thinking about posting a few more in a future,, but school work is killing me-