#some times I wish ppl would talk about sex in a more...relaxed way. and not like it's so mf sexual.

[logosbot-tm]

The way sex has somehow become non-sexual to me and just something I do for my own enjoyment. Meanwhile, red wine, corsets, and lipstick marks on cigarettes are hella sexual to me.

My friends and I discuss sex quite a lot (as well as kinks), and idk, there's something rather nice about unsexualising sex. I've realised that we have a v e r y different view on sex than a lot of ppl, but I prefer the view we have.

There's something so tiresome about the idea that sex has to be sexy, and that it has to be filled with ecstasy and orgasms and everything, when sometimes, it's bc you felt like it, or because you wanted to relax, have fun, or bc it's just enjoyable. Sometimes it's awkward, and weird, and doesn't go the way you wanted it to, and hell, sometimes you don't even start bc you just start laughing instead.

Sex isn't inherently sexual imo.

(Also, imo there's nothing inherently romantic about it, and the same goes for making out/kissing. My friends and I are all queer adults, who are all very relaxed about these things. It makes me rather happy tbh, since the idea of sex used to stress me out so much when I was in my midteens . Like "What if I'm not sexy?" Or "What if I do something wrong?" Or similar. I remember being stressed as hell about losing my "virginity" as well. Like jfc, I was 15. I shouldn't have worried about that shit. I do believe there's an issue with media portraying sex as very sexual, and that teens have a lot of sex. Like that's rather fucked up tbh.)

[thewrldx]

Hi i love ur work! Can i request a vinnie smut wherein they just finished having sex n vinnie tells her to just keep his cum inside her (maybe leaking thru her lingerie idk) n then they go down to socialize with other hype members n it gets y/n n vinnie horny again bc its very sexy n all that + d ppl dont know whats up lol + y/ns being such a tease abt it AAAA can it also have lots of dirty talk 😮‍💨🏃‍♀️ thank u sm! I appreciate it.

behave | v.h

!warnings: smut, unprotected sex, oral, dirty talk, daddy kink, spanking

navigation | v.h masterlist

“oh vinnie” you moaned out, “please fill me up”

“who?” he grunted in response, speeding up his thrusts.

“d-daddy” you stuttered out, unable to form complete sentences due to the pleasure.

“what do you want?” you didn’t respond, overwhelmed from the stimulation. he gripped your jaw forcing you to make eye contact. “answer me.”

“i w-want your cum so b-bad”

“such a pretty little slut, always wanting my cum. you want me to fuck my babies deep inside you? huh angel?”

“y-yes please.” you replied, feeling your orgasm approaching quickly. vinnie noticed and kissed your neck, trailing them to your ear lobe before whispering, “cum for daddy”

you felt yourself come undone by his words, raking your nails down his back and moaning his name. the clenching of your tight cunt was enough to send him over the edge cumming deep inside you, coating your walls.

he collapsed on top of you, breathing heavy and matching your own. he met your eyes and kissed you passionately before slowly pulling out. he glanced down at the pretty mess, tracing his fingers around your folds making you squirm.

“keep this cum inside of you.” he states sternly, getting off of the bed and throwing you the black lacy panties he had previously ripped off. “and you better behave when we go down to hang out with everyone.”

the way he spoke to you made you want him more and more. as he started toward the bathroom he made one last look at you. “understand?” he asks.

“yes vin.” you respond.

“good girl. now get over here.” you quickly slid your thong and shuffling to the bathroom. you stood in front of vinnie watching his eyes wandering over your body and stopping at your clothed mess. he smirked making you look down. his seed had soaked your panties and began to drip down your leg.

“you look so good right now gorgeous, i wish i could fuck the shit out of you all day.” his hand reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “but we have plans. get dressed.”

-

downstairs you began to socialize with everyone else, acting as if you didn’t just get fucked into the next universe. however, the feeling of vinnie’s cum dripping slightly out everytime you stood was making you impossibly horny again. you know you told vin you would be on your best behavior but you couldn’t help the feeling between your legs.

you walked over to him on the couch and sat next to him, he smiled gently and put his arm around you. you scooted closer to him before pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“are you having a good time?” he asked, you nodded and put your hand on his thigh, trying to send him a signal. he ignored it.

“can i sit in your lap baby?” you stuck your lip out, pouting, making it difficult for him to say no. once on his lap you guided his hands to your hips and very subtly adjusted yourself so his member was against your core.

“what are you doing y/n?” vinnie whispered, tone of voice dropping.

“i was just getting comfortable relax.” you smirked knowing that you would get him to fold any minute now. you once again started to slowly grind yourself on him feeling his pants tighten beneath you. his hands grip your hips tightly. closing his eyes.

“upstairs. now.” he growls in your ear, gently pushing you off of him. you wave bye to your friends before slowly walking up the stairs being sure to sway your hips just right as you felt vinnie’s eyes on your every movement.

vinnie apologized to everyone making up an excuse about you not feeling well. everyone looked at each other and shrugged as vinnie headed up the stairs behind you.

in the room he shuts the door and clicks the lock slowly walking to you on the bed.

“you couldn’t ever wait an hour you little slut.”

“i didn’t even do anything-“ he grabs your face, cutting you off.

“don’t even finish that sentence baby girl. i told you to behave.”

his words were harsh and you knew you were about to get punished. the excitement between your legs was growing rapidly but you weren’t going to let him know that.

“i’m sorry vinnie.” you apologized he shook his head.

“you’re going to regret being such a tease.” he smiled, “you just want me to fuck you like the little whore you are don’t you princess? not behaving so you can have this dick right?”

“yes daddy.” you responded. he knew you like the back of his hand.

“good baby, now turn around” you gulped knowing what you were about get, and hesitated to do so.

“i don’t think i asked you a question. turn. around.”

you obeyed him turning around, his hands quickly ripped off your skirt leaving you in the soaked black panties from your wetness and his cum from earlier. he gently rubbed your ass cheeks, the coolness of the metal from his rings making you flinch.

“how many should i give you for being bad baby?” he asks.

“10”

“no baby” he laughs “little sluts get more than 10 spankings for being bad. how about 20?”

he didn’t even give you a chance to respond before his hand roughly collided with your ass. the sudden action making you gasp.

“count.”

“o-one.” you obeyed. as the words flowed out another slap was placed. the sound echoed off the walls.

“two.” another. “three” another.

it seemed as if the spanking was never ending. the pain was unbearable but at the same time the pleasure was. you felt yourself getting wet with every single slap.

“t-twen-ty” you moaned out. he gently rubbed his hand over your now red and bruised ass.

“you were such a good girl for me.” he says, trailing his hand down to your panties, pushing them aside. “do you think you should be rewarded pretty?”

“please.” you whimper, he then inserts two fingers into you soaking core. you moan at the much needed touch.

“you’re dripping baby.” he grunts, “you love being punished don’t you?”

he thrusts his fingers fast, and rubs your clit with his thumb. the feeling in your stomach builds embarrassingly fast.

“vin i’m gonna-“ he then pulls out his fingers, delaying you from your orgasm. before you could complain he sticks his fingers in your mouth.

“you taste so good baby don’t you think?” you suck his fingers tasting yourself. you can tell that this arouses him even more.

“fuck get on your knees”

you obey him, scrambling to your knees. you watch in awe as he strips himself. god he looks so good. he pulls out his hard member, stroking himself a few times.

“you just gonna stare or you gonna let me fuck that pretty mouth of yours?” you open your mouth wide in response. vinnie quickly pushes his tip to your lips in which you wrap them around.

you suck and lick at the pre cum before your hair is gripped and pulled back, forcing you to make eye contact with vin.

“no teasing.” he pushes your head back toward his member on which you take him in your mouth. he lets out a low moan in response. he begins to slowly thrust his hips, making his cock hit the back of your throat. your eyes water as you gag, black tears fall down your cheeks from your eyeliner.

“you’re such a pretty mess.” he groans, “i love to fuck this pretty mouth.” his thrusts speed up, you moan at the feeling causing him to twitch into your mouth. you reach up to play with his balls, pushing him over the edge.

“oh fuck babe.” he moans, shooting his load down your throat. you suck a little before pulling off with a pop and swallowing all his seed. he then pulls you up to mash your lips together. the makeout is sloppy, intense and full of lust. you are gently pushed back on the bed, careful not to break your kiss. you feel his member becoming hard once again against your thigh.

“you want this cock pretty?” he asks reaching down to rub it against your clit. you moan in response.

“use your words baby. i’ll give you want you want.”

“fuck please.” you whimper.

“please what?”

“please fuck me daddy, i want your dick so badly. i need it.” accepting your begging, he slams himself into you making no time for you to adjust to his size.

your moans are loud and pornographic, making vinnie confident. he leans down and begins to suck on your nipple. the sensation enough to send you over the edge.

“daddy f-fuck.” you moan out, “i’m going to cum.”

pulling his lips away from your nipple, he speeds up his thrusts before responding, “no.”

“please i can’t hold it anymore.” you beg, your orgasm approaching very quickly.

“you can and you will.” he grunts, “unless you want to be punished some more.”

his thrusts are fast but becoming sloppy letting you know that he’s close, you clench yourself around him receiving a low groan from him.

“do that shit again.”

you clench around his cock once more, the pit in your stomach going to release itself any minute now. he notices and leans down, whispering in your ear. “cum with daddy baby, i want you to cum all over my cock.”

his words instantly lead you to your release, you moan out his name and tug at his perfect locks as you cum. vinnie fucks you through your orgasm before twitching inside you.

“fuck angel-“ he cuts himself off with a loud moan, shooting his second load of the day into you. he thrusts it deeper into you before slowly pulling out. he watches as his seed spills out of you and leans down to press a kiss to your clit. you gently push his head away, sensitive from your previous orgasm. he smirks before holding your hips down.

“think you can cum for me one more time princess?” he asks, kissing on and around your heat.

“n-no.” you stutter out.

“that’s too bad.” his mouth is immediately connected with your pussy, tongue lapping at your clit. you scream in pleasure as you pull at his hair.

he inserts his finger in you, still sucking your bud and curls them perfectly hitting your sweet spot. your orgasm approaches very fast, feeling yourself already coming undone on him.

“i’m cumming daddy.” you shout, squishing his face between your thighs. he pulls away from you, looking at your sweaty exhausted body laying on the bed.

he walks toward to bathroom and comes back with a cloth. he cleans up the mess softly before laying down next to you. he rolls your body on top of his, your face connected to his sweaty chest. you trace your finger along his tattoos as vinnie strokes your hair. he pressed a small kiss to your forehead.

“i love you y/n”

“i love you vin.”

a/n: i hope this is something that you wanted! this is one of my longer smuts i made soo idk how good it is

[poisoned-peppermint]

Part 4 of incorrect quotes because i feel obligated to make more due to the sheer number of people who liked it

Dream: My dearest beloved fuckos, is a fun, gender-neutral way to begin a speech

George: See also, esteemed bastards

Bad: Gentlefolk, Ferals, and Domesticated cryptids. 

Sapnap: My fellow yees and haws

~~~~~~~

Techno:Hey I know skyrim is revered as a classic but are we just going to ignore the fact that the entire game only had like 3 voice actors

Wilbur:Stop right there criminal cum

Techno:My ancestors are smiling at me, bastard, can you say the same

~~~~~~~

Foolish:When's your bedtime :)

Purpled: Whenever I next collapse in purely up to the gods

~~~~~~

Ranboo:Human skin is a fursuit for skeletons 

Tubbo: i’m going to debone you like a fucking trout

~~~~~~

Bad:You’re enough

Bad: love yourself!!!!!!! or suffer my wrath!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dream:And by wrath I mean love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad:no I mean wrath!!!!! You reading this, if you don't love yourself I’ll beat you with a stick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~~~~~~

Bad:I hope everyone is today well! And tomorrow!!!! After that you’re on your own.

~~~~~~

Bad:what am I supposed to do all day while you’re at work

Skeppy:I don’t know, what do you normally do while I’m gone

Bad: wait for you to get back

~~~~~~

Velvet:For my next stunt, I’ll wake up at 5am on the day I can sleep in

Ant:Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

Velvet:Early to bed and early to rise makes me a massive bitch

~~~~~~

Tubbo: 3:23 AM make a wish

Ranboo: I wish that you would go to sleep

Tuddo: Yeah well I wish I grew an inch taller every day as you get an inch shorter until you’re as flat as as a piece of paper and I’m 11 feet tall

Ranboo: You’re going to die of a mixture of skeletal instability and heart disease.

Tubbo: Yeah but I’ll look good while doing it.

~~~~~~

Bad:Disrespect me again and I’ll determine your bodies resonant frequency and play a jaunty horn solo that boils your miserable organs inside out 

~~~~~~

Quackity: If I were dating you?  Well, heh. Let’s just say horses wouldn't be called horses anymore

Karl: hey what the honk does this mean…..I’m shaking what does this mean!

~~~~~~

Skeppy: Are you ok?

Bad wrapped in a burrito blanket drinking his 6th cup of coffee: Yes, this is exactly what mental stability looks like

~~~~~~

Sam: My hands are cold

Ponk: *holds their hands*

Ponk: better?

Sam: My lips are cold too

~~~~~~

George at dream’s funeral: can I have a moment alone with them?

Sapnap: of course *leaves*

George leaning over dream’s casket: Now listen, I know you’re not dead.

Dream: yeah no shit

~~~~~~

Skeppy, jokingly: I should have Bad kill you for that.

Bad, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?

Skeppy: Wh- no, I was just kidding around.

Bad, pulling out a switchblade: No, who’s bothering you

~~~~~~

Bad *watching the news*: Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.

Skeppy *covered in ink*: Maybe the squirt was being a dick.

~~~~~~

Peacock: *spreads feathers at Bad*

Skeppy: It’s trying to attract a mate

Bad, extremely confused: *shyly lifts top*

Skeppy: No!

~~~~~~

Sapnap: Karl, do you eat olives? My dad wants to know

Karl: No, I hate olives. Olives are the spawn of satan. I hate olives so much my mom forced me to live in Mount olive for the rest of my childhood as a curse from the olive gods. Do you understand how much olives have ruined my life? I'm so offended that you asked me that have some consideration for people who have been abused by olives please!

Sapnap: K A R L ……….they’re just olives!!?

Karl: JUST OLIVES EXCUSE!

~~~~~~

Tommy: If you’re bored you can simply close your eyes and rotate a cow in your mind. It’s free and the cops can’t stop you

~~~~~~

Wilbur: is there anyone even named sheldon irl?

Tubbo: my class turtle from 6th grade :)

Wilbur: that’s a turtle

Tubbo: When god sings with his creations, will a turtle not be part of the choir?

~~~~~~

Ranboo: No bcuz why do ppl like salad?? What’s so good about it

Tubbo: chew leaf like god intended

Ranboo: No

Tubbo: Abandon god and see what he does next time you lift your hands in prayer

~~~~~~~

Tommy: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly.

Wilbur, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

~~~~~~

Quackity: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

~~~~~~

Puffy: If you had too, what would you give up food or sex?

Bad: Sex.

Skeppy: Seriously, answer faster.

Bad: I’m sorry honey, when they said sex I wasn’t thinking about sex with you.

Skeppy: It’s like a giant hug.

Puffy: Ant, what about you? What would you give up sex or food?

Ant: Food.

Puffy: Okay, how about sex or dinosaurs?

Ant: ……...Oh my God it’s like the movie Sophie’s Choice.

Gumi: What about you Velvet? What would you give up sex or food?

Velvet: Oh… um… I don’t know, it’s too hard.

Gumi: No, you gotta pick one.

Velvet: Um, food… no, sex… no, food…sex… food. Ugh! I don’t know! I want both! I- I want Antfrost on bread!

~~~~~~~

Tommy, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

~~~~~~~

Bad: Why are you guys acting like this?

Boomer: Oh, we’re not acting. We really are like this.

~~~~~~

Techno: Dream has only knocked me out three times this week. Our friendship is really developing.

~~~~~~

Tommy: You’re pathetic!

Wilbur: You’re pathetic-er!

Techno: You’re both losers.

~~~~~~

Bad: I wish I could help you, but I shorn’t.

Skeppy: Bad, please!

Bad: What part of shorn’t don’t you understand?

~~~~~~

Tubbo: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for Michal?

Ranboo: They need to learn how to protect us.

~~~~~~

Antfrost: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

~~~~~~

Bad: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.

Skeppy: Go the fuck to sleep Bad!

Bad: LANGUAGE!!

~~~~~~

Ranboo: Tubbo, please calm down.

Tubbo: I asked for two large fries!

Tubbo: *dumps fries onto table*

Tubbo: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

~~~~~~

Bad: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.

Skeppy: Not my fault. Somebody put a wall in the way.

~~~~~~

Wilbur: When you’ve been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin.

Tommy: Navy blue isn’t your color.

Wilbur: Navy blue brings out my eyes you prick! *Chases after Tommy*

~~~~~~

Bad: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere*

Puffy: Where did you get that?.

Bad: My pocket.

Puffy: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?

Bad: Skills.

~~~~~~

Tubbo: I will come to your house after work and knock on your window at 11 AM. You will not open the curtains, knowing full well what awaits you, but the knocking only grows louder, more demanding. Finally it stops, your ears ringing. You nervously let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. You're safe now. Minutes pass by and you start to relax. And then you hear a knock at the front door. Like before, you stay still and clutch the blankets around you. You try to tell your self that it's just your imagination. Maybe the milk man? But why would he come so late? Everyone else was asleep, save for Naomi who was playing video games down stairs. To your relief, the knocking stops after a few. Minutes and you breath easy once more. Until you hear a knock on your bedroom door. You don't move. It's just your imagination. She isn't here. She can't be here. You tell yourself, shutting your eyes and willing yourself to sleep. The knock comes again, but with horror you realize that it came from the closet inside your room. You know that you have no choice. You get up, climbing out of bed with shaking limbs. You walk to the closest, trembling, and holding back the tears threatening to spill over your porcelain cheeks. You hesitate with your hand over the closet handle. Maybe it's just your imagination? She's not really there. You can go to sleep and laugh it off in the morning. Your naive thoughts are cut off by another, more demanding knock on the closet door, inches from your face. You know what you have to do. You open the closet door, and there she stands. Chuck e cheese, the mouse looms over you in the dim light. It's soulless eyes boor into you. It raises its arms, and you flinch as it begins to floss at lightning speed. Tears spill over your cheeks. This is the last thing you'll ever see.

Ranboo: Wait, Chuck e cheese’s pronouns are she/her? Trans Chuck e cheese? Good for her.

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Would you like something to drink? *They opened the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-

Quackity: Spiders?

Bad: Spiders it is then.

Quackity: No, that wasn’t-

*But they were already pouring him a brimming glass of spiders…

~~~~~~

Puffy : Make her pussy wet not her eyes.

Velvet : Make his dick hard not his life.

Punz : Break her bed not her heart.

Skeppy : Play with his boobs not his feelings. 

Ant : Get on his dick not his nerves.

Bad : Always salt your pasta while boiling it.

~~~~~~~

Wilbur: Bet you can’t eat 15 crayons!

Tommy: Bet you I can!

Phil: *sips coffee, checks to make sure 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading the paper*

~~~~~~~

Ant: We need a way to lure in new customers?

Ponk: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!

Skeppy: Badboyhalo bath water.

Bad: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

~~~~~~~~

Fundy: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK!

Wilbur: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

~~~~~~~~

Bad: Mint is just cold spicy.

Pummel party Squad: …

Gumi: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

~~~~~~~~

Quackity: Isn’t it amazing how I can feel so bad and still look so good?

~~~~~~~

Tommy: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Phil:

Phil: Why are you eating dirt?

Tommy: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

~~~~~~~

Tubbo: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.

Quackity: You’re too young to have enemies.

Tubbo: You don’t even know.

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Puffy: What’s up your ass this morning!

Bad: *walks in* …Hi!!

Puffy: Hmm… nevermind.

Skeppy: WAIT NO!

~~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Ha! Don’t you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?

Skeppy: I must be losing it, I’m quoting Bad.

~~~~~~~

Skeppy: Bad, I sense hostility.

Bad: Good, because I hate you

~~~~~~~

Bad: Are you a painting?

Skeppy: What-?

Bad: Because I want to pin you to a wall.

Skeppy: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG ME OR SOMETHING-

~~~~~~

Tommy: You’re giving me a sticker?

Phil: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Tommy: I’m not a preschooler.

Phil: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Tommy: I earned this, back off!

~~~~~~

Dream, sweating: George, there’s something I need to ask you-

George: Finally! You’re proposing!

Dream: How’d you know?

George: Dream, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

George: I even picked it up once

~~~~~~~~

*Bad and Skeppy looking at a locked gate into a park*

Bad: Aw. :(

Skeppy: You know what they say.

Bad: Please don’t-

Skeppy: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*

Bad: Frick-

~~~~~~~~

let me know if ya’ll want more <3

[puppy-phum]

#10YearPromise - pingxie blabberings

bc i wasn’t able to answer these questions throughout the week (as i’ve been traveling around while being extremely busy), i decided to just collect all of my answers under one post! i never tire talking about pingxie so this was extremely enjoyable ♥ am also practicing some very shameless self promo in this so be prepared!

thank you for @laireshi​ for organizing this event (i take it’s you alone? am not sure, sorry for my laziness) and being amazing in general ^^ i won’t be able to join as i am still very busy and summer is always pure chaos for me, so i can only hope that other ppl have fun! if you are not aware of 10 Year Promise Pingxie Exchange, you can find the original announcement post here. join in if you have the time and inspiration ^^ 

and then to my answers which i will be placing under the cut bc i don’t want to flood anyone’s dash with me going bonkers over these two idiots. enjoy tho if you decide to read this :’D ♥

I. What made you ship pingxie?

Back when I got into Reboot bc of ZYL (as has happened to many ppl probably) and then saw stuff about pingxie once I started going through that drama’s tag on tumblr, my first thought about them was that they had to be a crack ship. The way Reboot portrays them as well as their actors and their huuuge age difference affected this a lot, and I was actually cackling at them bc all their moments in Reboot made me just go “oh, socialist brotherhood at its best” in my head. But then I finished watching Reboot’s 1st season (as the 2nd one wasn’t out yet) and started reading some fics. I learned more about them and the canon storyline. I learned how damn devoted they are to each other, and after that, many moments in Reboot gained new meaning in my eyes. So, I think what made me ship pingxie was a mix of Reboot (especially the hallucination moment where Xiaoge dies and Wu Xie loses it bc that’s my jam as I later on became to notice) and then the amazing fics I dug out during that time. After that the love grew stronger as I watched the other dramas, and these days I’m a lost cause. I feel like I spend most of my awake time thinking about these two and their love. They are amazing. I cry rivers for them.

II. Which pingxie version is your favorite?

After finding pingxie, I fell in love with them properly during TLT2. There is just something about that stage of their relationship for me, the stage where both of them are still very tentative about everything but they have deep down accepted that they’re tied now. Wu Xie is figuring out so many things, coming to terms with being betrayed by his uncle and slowly realizing that something bigger is going on behind the scenes. Meanwhile, Xiaoge is learning how to trust Wu Xie and how to accept that he cannot leave this naïve boy behind. It feels very fragile, and I have so many emotions about TLT2 bc of this. Xiaoge is so soft and feels very multilayered. Wu Xie is still his naïve self but is slowly gaining some sharper edges as he comes to face the cruel world. I like how Cheng Yi and Hou Minghao have portrayed this dynamic. Also, TLT2 is just very extra with all the pingxie scenes, who would be able to resist loving them? So, I have to admit that my favorite pingxie is these two, tho Ultimate Note comes very, very close.

III. What’s your favorite pingxie headcanon?

Headcanons are a bit hard for me as I don’t know enough of the canon. I have not read the novels so most of the story I’ve just patched together from all the bits I’ve read from somewhere (here, on twt, in fics) and through the scenes the dramas have shown me. I feel like the whole world is lowkey made of headcanons for me :’D But hmm, my favorite pingxie headcanon… I’d say there are two and then one bonus bc it’s more a Wu Xie related headcanon than just pingxie. The first one is that the pingxie confession happens after the Bronze Gate. It feels like the only moment when they’re both ready for such a thing. I’d say Xiaoge comes to realize his own feelings a lot earlier and he might tell something to unconscious Wu Xie before leaving for ten years, but he will not actually leave Wu Xie with such a burden. He doesn’t want to ask anything when it sounds like he doesn’t even believe that Wu Xie will be willing to wait for him, and I’d say that for him, his feelings are going to be fine even if Wu Xie never learns about them. He might even wish that Wu Xie never learns about them bc he’s not able to promise much as an immortal and amnesiac being (he outlives Wu Xie, most likely forgets him). For Wu Xie however, I’d say he needs time. He really is way too naïve and I’d say that he needs those ten years to realize that he’s in love with his best friend. I dunno who confesses first after Xiaoge returns but I think that only after that decade their relationship is “mature” enough to hold the weight of a confession (even if I also love to play around with the thought of them getting together during the events of Ultimate Note bc that drama offered many good chances for that). Another headcanon for me is that Xiaoge will find a way to die when Wu Xie does. After learning about them more, I feel like Reboot implies this too. Xiaoge is very accepting of Wu Xie’s death but in the last moments, when he really thinks that this is going to be it for Wu Xie, he hesitates. We see a spark of desperation there, and I’ve come to think that his initial plan, the plan he came up with once he got that call from Wu Xie and knew he would join Wu Xie on his last adventure, was to see this through for Wu Xie’s sake and then leave and die alone. I don’t know how much there would be left for Zhang Qiling after Wu Xie is gone. I feel like this is also what Wu Xie fears. But would he really resent Xiaoge for joining him in death after living such a long and hard life? I’d say no and I’d say that even Pangzi accepts this as one of the most likely outcomes. The bonus one then feels very personal to me. I don’t usually talk about this bc I feel so unsure of even mentioning this but I’ve seen others with similar thoughts so am sharing! I’ve never before gotten any vibes about a character’s sexuality in a drama I’ve watched but Reboot Wu Xie looked at me once in the eye and all I could hear was my brain yelling “asexual”. So, that is just my personal headcanon for Wu Xie. He’s ace and proud of it. He can flirt etc. but sex makes him go naah. He doesn’t need it or want it. He can appreciate beauty and hot ppl without wanting to sleep with them and I think his relationship with Xiaoge fits very well into this. I don’t have any personal experiences with being ace but I feel like Wu Xie has read the name once, shrugged and gone, “guess that’s me” and continued on with his life. He’s badass like that and I love him for it. (take a very relevant meme lol from this post)

IV. What’s the ideal pingxie date?

Ah, christ. I dunno if I’ve ever thought about them going on a date? In the middle of tomb raiding, hospital trips and fighting against powers bigger than themselves, I’ve rarely seen any time for them to do something like that lol. But after Ultimate Note, I’ve thought about star gazing a lot. Just them, the infinite night sky and some lonely hilltop. They would probably take a blanket with them, huddle together and talk about things in hushed voices. Wu Xie would go on a ramble about all the constellations and their meanings and mythology behind them and Xiaoge would just nod at him and watch Wu Xie talking. Maybe he would offer some tidbits in the middle of the rambling, making Wu Xie smile brightly. It would be relaxing and comfortable and loving. They would make out a lil bit. Would maybe lie down and play with each other’s hair. All their worries would feel insignificant. Wu Xie would fall asleep for a moment and Xiaoge would wake him up with a kiss to get him moving again so that they don’t need to sleep on the cold ground. They would return home and drink something warm and then go to sleep, cuddled together and happy. relevant edit x

V. What’s your favorite pingxie getting together scenario?

I guess I already talked about this a bit but let me elaborate then! As said, I’d see it happening after the Bronze Gate. I am not sure if it would be right away (they’re both going through so much trauma at that point) or if it would happen after Reboot (maybe we would still need Wu Xie almost dying for them to get their shit together), but I’d say it happens in a rush either way. It’s one of those “I have to tell you something before it’s too late” -type of moments. Or one of those “Bc I love you, you idiot!” -type of moments. I feel like I keep thinking that maybe Wu Xie would have to confess first bc as said, Xiaoge wouldn’t like to burden Wu Xie with his feelings when there’s so little he can give in the sense of normalcy. But then again, I have written a oneshot where Xiaoge is the first one to confess and that always feels better for me. That at some point Xiaoge feels secure enough to tell Wu Xie about his own feelings. That he feels confident and comfortable enough to say it out loud while still expecting nothing in return bc he knows that Wu Xie won’t abandon him either way. But no matter how that happens, I always see it as this dam breaking. The emotions finally become too strong. Something happens that reminds them that life is too short. Something happens that makes them finally talk it out and ah, Pangzi can finally take a break, what a joy

VI. What’s your favorite pingxie moment?

Every adaptation has its own good moments so let me make a list (like I saw someone else do too):

The Lost Tomb:

Xiaoge rescues Wu Xie from the shibie

Wu Xie worrying over unconscious Xiaoge plus taking care of him in the hotel room

The Pingxie MomentTM aka Xiaoge saving Wu Xie from falling and then cradling the boy to his chest while thumb rubbing his shoulder

The Lost Tomb 2:

Xiaoge revealed to be Baldie and Wu Xie yelling at him about it

Lowkey the whole underwater tomb arc bc holy shit that’s gay

Wu Xie losing it when Xiaoge doesn’t come up from the underwater tomb, diving after him and then almost dying himself + Pangzi getting angry at him for being stupid

pingxie ft. magical skype in the bronze tree cave (and Xiaoge being emo about the 1000yo warrior guy right before that)

Xiaoge rescuing Wu Xie from drowning (they shared air, you cannot convince me otherwise) + Wu Xie giving Xiaoge his watch in the hospital (relevant edits x x)

Wu Xie’s face when he sees Zhang Buxun in the coffin bc I love pain :)

Xiaoge not shooting Wu Xie despite not remembering him in the mountain village

Wu Xie grabbing Xiaoge’s jacket after being kidnapped and the Iron Triangle reunites in that old Chen guy’s cabin, asking, “Is that you?” from Xiaoge to make sure that he remembers again while looking like the biggest puppy (relevant edit x)

also some relevant memes x

Ultimate Note:

The hand over mouth reunion in the Golmud Sanatorium

“Xiaoge will ignore anyone else but you”

Xiaoge pretending he isn’t Losing ItTM throughout the whole time Wu Xie is in the Devil’s City with A-Ning

more hand over mouth with the gigantic snake

“The goddess has ascended”

Wu Xie protecting Xiaoge after he returns from the jade meteorite 

“Do you remember me?” “Wu Xie.”

Wu Xie promising to help Xiaoge find his memories no matter what bc Xiaoge’s business is Wu Xie’s business 

“Maybe you can return home with a wife today.” Wu Xie: proceeds to stare at Xiaoge, horrified

“Take me home.”

The sword gifting scene (especially Xiaoge denying the possibility of him killing Wu Xie or them harming each other, relevant edits x x)

other relevant edits for ultimate note x x

Reboot:

Wu Xie telling Xiaoge about his sickness and then Xiaoge coming back and promising to join Wu Xie on his trip (relevant edit x)

the death hallucination bc am a masochist 

Wu Xie’s death dream where Xiaoge calls to him but then accepts his choice to move forward bc am a masochist pt. 2

pingxie reunion in the Thunder City forest where Xiaoge saves Wu Xie & co. from the poisonous gas 

the moment in Thunder City where Wu Xie sits outside at night, eating the peanuts Pangzi gave him and then notices Xiaoge, offering him the peanuts and smiling 

when Xiaoge leaves for the last time and then gets reunited with healed Wu Xie against all odds

the train scene and their softest smiles to each other  

Time Raiders:

Wu Xie being the best bean and just wanting to befriend this mysterious man while seeing right under his skin and making Xiaoge baffled and fall in love in approximately 0.5 seconds

Xiaoge, catch! *proceeds to save only Wu Xie when they fall into that shibie horror chamber*  

Xiaoge’s desperation to save Wu Xie from the crumbling ground 

their death waltz at the end of the movie plus Xiaoge’s sacrifice

+ Sand Sea: 

“Don’t you dare call him Xiaoge!” 

Wu Xie offering his friends and then himself as comfort to Li Cu when he’s scared while smiling very softly at the memory of Xiaoge 

“But isn’t his surname Wu?” Hei Xiazi: You have seen nothing yet, you sweet summer child

Wu Xie talking about Xiaoge’s past in the temple (aka the Tibetan Sea Flower story bc I just adore how pretty they’ve made those scenes) 

VII. What is the best gift Wu Xie and Xiaoge could give each other?

I haven’t really thought about this type of stuff either bc we have already seen a ton of gifts being exchanged! I love the watch Wu Xie gives to Xiaoge in TLT2 as mentioned (it’s so silly but also so sweet) and I love it that Wu Xie gifts Xiaoge with a new sword in Ultimate Note. Also, I feel like I can count the food Wu Xie leaves for Xiaoge in Ultimate Note and that one moment where Xiaoge offers his knife for Wu Xie as a “pen”. They would give anything for each other as long as the other asked (which they never do) so I dunno what type of gift would matter the most. As it’s so hard to say, let me talk about one more headcanon that I’ve been thinking about ever since the infamous Bazaar photoshoot for Ultimate Note/XYL & ZSX. So, we see them having matching rings and necklaces in that photoshoot. I think jewelry would be kind of difficult for Xiaoge to wear when he needs to fight, as jewelry could be a hindrance in that type of situation But my brain won’t shut up about “pingxie married!!!” when I ask this question from it. To be honest, I do not see pingxie getting married in the traditional sense. They don’t need something like that after everything they’ve gone through. But I like to play around with the thought of promise rings. Just them exchanging rings for fun, for their own sakes, to have something concrete that reminds them of their promise to each other and of their feelings. Maybe even Xiaoge could wear that ring under his gloves idk. But am a sucker for that thought so my answer to this is then simply: a ring. relevant edits x x

if you read this far, thank you so much! I hope this gave you something and thank you once more for organizing this and allowing everyone to share their love for pingxie ^^ ♥

[peterjonesparker]

I offer this knowing full well the trash fire that I am. sorry I made y’all wait over a year. hope this isn’t too bad and not worth the wait :( lots of shit going on in my life and has been going on haha. been a big year! I graduated! I'm working! trying to find a full time job! wow! but yeah...hope you all enjoy. anyhow.

tags: @spideychelle-romanogers, @redpanthers, @suplosers, @bellamywarriorblake, @spideychelleforever, @ritebeforeyoureyes, and @johnmulaneyslut. I forgot a lot of ppl I'm sure! if you want to be tagged for any future updates (maybe they won't take a year rip my life) just message me and I'll add you! and if you don’t wanna be tagged going forth, just lmk! okay, story!

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six | chapter seven (it’s still rated e guys)

chapter seven: “I thought you might want to join me?” (ao3 link)

Michelle doesn’t realize how well and truly fucked she is until her birthday comes around. She’s been doing her very best to pretend everything has been fairly normal, just add in some making out and oral sex to the equation. (Since she went down on him, he’s gone down on her another five times and each one has been absolutely breathtaking. He’s just…so…observant.) In any case, Michelle has been trying to pretend they’re just good friends who blow off some steam together sexually.

She tries to rationalize the way he’ll sometimes grab her hand when they’re walking to class. Or how he’ll wrap his arm around her when they watch Pride and Prejudice and she tries to hide her tears at Darcy’s confession to Elizabeth. Or sometimes the way he stares at her like she’s the greatest thing in the universe and she wonders if she’s even known what it’s felt like to be adored like this.

They’re just friends, though. This is just Peter being the gentlest soul she’s ever known. He wants her to feel loved because he wants her to be happy. As her friend.

Her birthday is always dangerous territory. Because take how much care and love Peter usually gives her and multiply it by one trillion. She wakes up to a light knock on her door and Peter’s made stacks of chocolate chip pancakes, complete with bananas and Nutella that’s been warmed slightly so it spreads more easily. He’s also made her a chai latte. Or…well…he’s attempted to make her a chai latte. And he drew a heart with chocolate drizzle over the foam. He brings all this in on a tray he claims he had May send over and he’s brought the New York Times Sunday crossword.

They spend the morning cuddling together, eating and trying their best to fill out the whole crossword without any clues. (They only need to go to Rex Parker’s solution for three!) He spends the time occasionally pecking her shoulder or check or neck or simply deciding to drag his lips over the skin there. No matter what it is, she gets goosebumps wherever he touches her.

They make out for a bit and it’s soft and gentle and warm. But then he’s pulling off of her and smiling down, telling her to get dressed because he has a whole big day planned. She groans. Because, like, they were making out and she’s tired and doesn’t want to get out of bed. She also quite likes Peter being in her bed. But those puppy dog eyes of his can get her to say yes to just about anything so she gets dressed and lets him drag her around town.

They go to the coffee shop that serves coffee at the perfect temperature. The one right by the coffee shop where she and Peter first freaked out about starting college and making new friends and taking the right classes. The one where she and Peter decided to live together. The barista recognizes them and gives her their order for free.

              Birthday: 1. Sadness about Peter: 0.

Afterward they stop by a bookstore that’s stocked up with the new release of an author Michelle really likes. Then, the authorshows up and signs her book and wishes her a happy birthday and says that she owed Tony a favor. And this is just such a cute idea. Your boyfriend really cares about you!

             Birthday: 1. Sadness about Peter: 1.

They go to the park and he buys them a blanket and he watches people while she reads her new book. She also manages to drift off to sleep. Peter’s just rubbing her back so nicely and the sun was so warm and her eyes just felt so heavy. But it’s her birthday so she can do whatever she wants.

He wakes her when the sun is starting to set and takes her back home, arm wrapped around her shoulder as they walk to the train. He lets her sleep on his shoulder on the ride back and she does not dream about him because he’s right next to her and that would be dumb…right?

When they get back to their apartment, Michelle’s feeling more sad than anything else. Because she’s so happy. Being with Peter is everything she ever hoped it would be. In fact, it’s better. Because she only ever had vague ideas about holding hands and spending time together and doing sappy shit. Which they do. But they also give each other orgasms and that’s an aspect she never let herself think about before. She has all of it in her grasp, but they’re not quite there. She doesn’t know what to do about it other than feel sad.

Maybe Peter senses that, and that’s the reason he timidly says that he has one more gift for her but only if she feels up to it and it’s totally fine if she’s not. She smiles, tired but fond. “Show me.” That’s when he pulls a small slip of paper from his pocket and extends it toward her with a goofy grin.

          This coupon is good for one bubble bath

She looks down to hide the radiant smile that overtakes her face. She angles her head back up to look at him through her eyelashes, and he looks simultaneously terrified and ecstatic. “Well,” she pushes her shoulders back and gestures forward. “Lead the way.”

His eyes shoot wide and he sputters out a few breaths before “give me one second!” He sprints to the bathroom and only comes out a few minutes later, sufficiently less panicked. “Sorry for the delay, let’s go.” He grabs her hand gingerly and guides her toward their joint bathroom.

It’s set up with candles and he’s playing a playlist she’d created a while ago on his Bluetooth speakers. He’s laid out her favorite book alongside a glass of wine. When she turns her head, he’s smiling, small and shy. “I thought you should have a relaxing birthday evening.”

But then he starts to walk away and she panics, grabbing his wrist to hold him back. He turns with a raised eyebrow. “Did you change your mind?” He turns to face her fully now. “That’s really okay. I can try to plan something else if you want?

She laughs, head tilted back and smile wide on her face. He’s such a nerd. “No, Peter.” But then she’s nervous because he was going to walk away and should she really bother asking? It’s her birthday, though. “I thought you might want to join me?”

He blushes furiously, turning his head to avoid eye contact. “If you’d like.” He glances back at her quickly, a slow growing and hopeful smile on his face.

She answers by pulling her shirt over her head and throwing it carelessly across the room, whipping her head to accentuate the movement. She smiles when she hears Peter chuckle. They strip awkwardly and wordlessly, which still astounds her because they’ve seen each other naked several times by now and still aren’t used to it. But they work through the discomfort and get into the bath, her back to his as they just lie there.

It's incredibly relaxing. But Michelle still feels very unsettled. Especially because she’ll adjust a bit and Peter will gasp and she’ll feel his dick twitch. But this is a bit of uncharted territory. Because they haven’t had penetrative sex yet. Just oral sex. Handjobs and fingering, too. But penetrative sex? Nope. And of course it’s also the type of sex that Michelle finds most intimidating because it’s never as comfortable or easy as someone touching her clit. But she feels Peter’s dick twitching against her back, slowly getting hard. And she can hear Peter’s breath hitch with the effort of trying not to get hard. And it’s a futile effort in any case because she loves him and if he wanted to have penetrative sex, she would love to have it with him. She’s honestly kind of curious and is getting a bit turned on at the thought. It’s her fucking birthday, too. Which is maybe how she can justify the words that come out of her mouth next.

“Peter, are you ever going to fuck me with your dick?”

Peter stills. He’s incredibly tense. She can feel it. So she cranes her neck so she can watch him take a deep swallow, lip trembling a bit. “Is that something you want?”

“Is it something you want?”

Peter answers by wrapping his arms around her and kissing her deeply. The angle is a bit uncomfortable, but Peter starts dragging his hands down her body. She gasps when his fingers drift over her clit, and that’s what breaks their kiss. Her head turns back to face forward as she pants, head falling back against Peter’s chest. He leans down to kiss her neck, smiling into it. It takes her an embarrassing amount of time to realize he’s actually whispering things into her ear.

“You want me to fuck you, huh?” A bite to her ear lobe. “You’d like that, huh? Want to feel yourself falling apart around my dick, huh? Want to know how up the wall I’d be feeling you all around me, huh?”

Michelle gasps, nodding her head and keening. Her hands have a vice grip on his thighs as his fingers circle her clit. She’s biting her lip, trying to maintain some sense of composure. But the thought of him getting hard and entering her slowly is starting to drive her a bit crazy. Her friends all talk about proper lubrication and being relaxed and she figures an orgasm is the best way to do it, so she reaches her hand back and runs her fingers through the hair at the nape of Peter’s neck. She pushes his head down into her neck. “Give me a hickey for my birthday. I want you to make me come as you mark my skin.”

And so Peter does just that. And it’s as he’s sucking on the skin connecting her shoulder to her collarbone and his fingers are rubbing her clit in the circles she’s shown Peter how to perfect that her mouth parts on a deep moan. Then the pants begin and her chest starts to heave as the pressure builds and it starts to feel like too much in the best way possible. It’s these seconds right before orgasming that are Michelle’s favorite and she should really explore edge play with Peter or something and just thinking about exploring all these different ways to have sex with Peter who is probably the love of her life feels one hundred percent too overwhelming and she orgasms, moaning obnoxiously loudly in a way she hasn’t done before.

She feels like she maybe blacks out for a second, but when her eyes open, it’s to the sight of Peter smiling down at her, a look akin to awe on his face. And she chooses to lean into the moment and not think too strongly about it. She just lets him help her to stand up and lead her to the bed. She’s nervous but she also hasn’t been this excited about anything in a long while.

[thefudge]

scattered thoughts on sanditon so far 

this is a fun romp from andrew davies and there’s a lot to like and be invested in

but i do have some observations/ gripes

obviously davies is going for a modern/sexed up adaptation of austen and i have mixed thoughts on that, cuz there’s a lot of interesting stuff you can do with that, but you can also botch it up big time (i’m glad he didn’t do this to p&p back in 1995...i wonder what that adaptation would’ve looked like today. probably full monty darcy, lol). so i think some elements verge on the ridiculous, for instance having almost every dude in this show strip naked in front of a crowded beach several times in a row. ditto for theo james. i don’t mind the view (hehe) but i think it’s inserted awkwardly at times. like okay, we get it, it’s a beach resort and we’re trying to make austen edgy in 2019.... just maybe indulge a little less and literally keep it in your pants. 

this being a more modern adaptation i don’t mind hair and make-up anachronisms, but i DO mind the fact that rose williams sports this really weird shade of fuchsia lipstick in almost every single scene. stop iiiit

speaking of which, rose williams is a cutie and i loved her on reign, but i don’t understand what she’s doing with her face in this series. don’t get me wrong, she does a good job of making charlotte very likable, but the only way she can express...anything, really, is by making these confused faces, like a child practicing frowning in the mirror. it’s...really awkward. and she does this all the time, whether she’s happy or sulky or nervous, she just always looks like she’s trying to figure out the fibonacci sequence.  i mean it’s hilarious when u have theo james going all gruff to her about his feelings and rose williams is that gif of the blond lady doing math in her head. her acting is pretty good otherwise, but those faceeeees.

esther denham is my goddamn FAVE, gosh i love a Disappointed Queen and i’m glad she’s getting away from that boring skeevy brother. for once the incestuous siblings didn’t do it for me at all (which is pretty much the point lol). there’s nary a dude more uninteresting than edward whatshisface, my gaaaawd (also, davies trying to ramp up the sexiness with those scenes of edward brushing her hair or doing her stays...lol, sir, this rly isn’t your strength i’m sorry)

but i have to say that i thought esther and clara would be a thing. because my gosh, the chemistry during their scenes! the way they’d glide past each other with utmost contempt, while being disquieted by each other @___@. i mean it’s an austen adaptation, so i guess they’d never go there but!!! i need fic (would’ve made clara more bearable at least. i appreciate her character objectively cuz she’s an interesting pseudo-antagonist and you don’t get many of those, but blerghh. she was insufferable)

i was kinda (actually very) disappointed that the relationship between sidney and his ward, georgiana, wasn’t really developed. like there’s one more episode to go (as far as i know?) and they’ve barely scratched the surface with them. i mean he’s halfway decent to her now.... but ehh. i feel like this was a missed opportunity. after all, this was austen’s unfinished novel, so andrew davies & co could have added more material between these two. this, to me, should have been the real heart of the series. 

i like otis as a character, but georgiana/otis was zzzzzz. i suppose that they’ll end up together? zzzzzzzzzz (i frankly ship her way more with arthur! she finds him infuriating! he’s a sweetheart! the shenanigans!)

that German doctor is the real MVP, i feel like he should be sanditon’s no. 1 bachelor. i mean the shower rod??? providing pleasure to all the ladies in town, what a hero 

the soundtrack is rly rad! and the cinematography

i love how the show captures austen’s growing interest in the industrialized modern world which was emerging in the twilight years of the regency and i feel like maybe the show should’ve invested more time in that modern aesthetic (steampunk!) rather the awkward sexual shenanigans 

so....i can’t delay the inevitable anymore, can i? sigghh okay here i go

sidney/charlotte...annoys me. 

HEAR ME OUT.

 u know that i love LOVE “enemies to lovers” and hate/love stories, i LIVE FOR THIS SHIT. 

and i was ready to gorge on this dynamic because it looked delish 

 but i felt like michael bluth finding the dead pigeon in the paper bag. 

from what i can gather, sidney is supposed to be a mixture of darcy and capt wentworth, “haughty” and proud, with a history of romantic disappointment, a brooding sexy hero with a heart of gold. but to me this dude just comes off as weird. 

there’s legit no reason for him to be THIS mean to this young girl he just met. he is not just an asshole, he is ridiculously over the top about it, to the point where he makes a fool of himself. i am FINE with a man telling a woman off, believe me, but it has to have some kind of motivation, some kind of reasoning behind it. here, it just feels like the plot needs him to be utterly shitty to charlotte so that “sparks will fly”. that first ep convo on the balcony??? wtf???? it was genuinely bizarre. i got weird incel vibes. and every time he lashes out at charlotte (at least in the first 4 episodes) it’s fucking silly, because it’s not like he lashes out because she’s scratching the surface of his innermost painful memories. no!!! many of their arguments revolve around basic things that he could easily clarify!!! which he does eventually, so like whyyyyyyyyyy. charlotte keeps telling him he’s being vague for no good reason and he still does it. it doesn’t make sense he’d be this guarded and outspoken at the same time. like, fine, keep that shit to yourself, don’t tell ppl, but don’t also get pissed at them when they don’t guess your mind. again, i love an antagonist dynamic when it’s done right, but here many times it’s just pointless bullying, it’s not sexy or fun or challenging. the writers keep making charlotte apologize to him about how “wrong” she got him and how he makes her doubt her judgement but it sounds fake to me. like a) this dude went out of his way to be a total assface to you from day one, b) none of that bullying was him trying to coax you into having a more complicated view of the world. when darcy rebukes elizabeth, he is hinting at her limited point of view. he’s not blatantly negging her or calling her stupid as this dude does. AND U KNO WHAT.

i’d be absolutely fine with him calling her stupid IF IT MADE SENSE WITHIN THE STORY 

like if charlotte had truly done smth stupid during the first episode, sure, fine, it’s somewhat warranted 

but for him to decide she’s an idiot for no other reason than her making some honestly super nice remarks about his brothers when he asked for her opinion is THE HEIGHT OF NONSENSE 

it’s even more nonsense when 2 episodes later he decides maybe she’s not that dumb after all FUCK U MR. EDGELORD

and it makes me pity charlotte cuz she’ll probably marry this dude and have to deal with him in his old age when he’ll be even more insufferable. 

and i totally get the appeal. i do! i mean their scenes are manufactured to make you want more of them, i see the chemistry, it’s there (and we’re already at a point in the series where he’s trying to make amends) but at the same time i’m put off by this dude’s intensity, cuz it’s not the hot kind of intensity...it’s more like he’s a giant dumb baby who breaks things. meh. theo james is very pretty tho, and he is doing the most with his character (that voice def helps!). but i wish this antagonistic relationship had been written better, because it could’ve been glorious

this is why i think sidney/georgiana should’ve been so much more present. just like darcy has his georgiana we need the humanizing element, we need to see more variety from this dude than just “guy who clearly needs anger management classes”. 

i’m pretty sure i’m in the minority or possibly one of two ppl not won over by this romance, and i can’t lie and say i don’t root for them. too much of this show is predicated on their clashes for them not to work it out and get together, but boyyyy do i wish they’d done it a bit better

i almost feel like a reylo anti lol, but at least kylo ren doesn’t neg rey every single time they talk 

also, i go back to rose williams’ faces because they just rly enhance how clumsy this dynamic is. theo james is doing byronic asshole 2.0 and charlotte looks at him like he’s developed a smell lmao. i mean the scene where she catches him naked? she turns around and FROWNS in this rly bizarre way, almost like she noticed a growth on his dick lmao it’s that bad 

anyway i totally get the appeal, but i also know what i want from this kind of dynamic and...this ain’t quite it 

honestly i think i prefer charlotte/cute architect guy whose name i don’t remember right now! 

that being said, my fave moments of this show are the most austen-esque, where ppl don’t take themselves so seriously. i mean the adventures of the perennially-ailing parker siblings (arthur & diana)? deeeelightful. the pineapple scene? glorious

also it makes me sad that sanditon was left unfinished because to see austen tackling georgiana’s character in depth would have been so, so interesting 

in conclusion, the show’s a lot of fun but also frustrating in many ways

i hope davies doesn’t set his eyes on re-adapting p&p or other austen classics because ermmm i know i’m trash but i am kind of tired of these sexed-up “look how scandalous we are behind closed doors” adaptations. you can make the regency era feel modern and relatable without “shocking hand job in the estate park” pls and thank u. sure, the regency era was the inheritor of the sexually relaxed 18th-century, but it wasn’t that relaxed yall. ppl still kept their wits and bonnets about them.

still, i’m glad this show exists and that it tries to take risks, i just wish it took different kinds of risks, if that makes sense. like i am SO bummed i didn’t get into sidney/charlotte, u have no idea 

[ocular-intercourse]

OC MASTERPOST

Alright, putting this together you really notice how old most of these characters are, theres a lot of cliched and coincidental stuff in there that i & others came up with when i was 15-21. Finn got the whole brunt of my edgy scene teen angst phase... but then again Asher is brand new and not looking any better so there’s that. Sorry children, i love the drama. Also all of them being queer men is absolutely just teenage me living out my queer male identity through them before i even knew it hasghj.

NAME/NICKNAME: Finnegan Bastien Jeong-Bak / Finn, Junebug (by his fans) (his terrible mish mash of a name is product of his parents forcefully pushing their heritage away to make it easier for Finn to fit in, once they reached his sister they were more relaxed about the problem)

AGE/BIRTHDAY: 27 years / 17.04.

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: French Canadian / Asian (South Korean)

BASED ON: /

GENDER/SEXUALITY: Cis male / bisexual (probably pan if he’d be more informed)

FAMILY: FATHER | Jin Hee Jeong | 48 years | janitor | very difficult relationship, for most of his life he considered his father to be a good dad till the drinking started and then the abuse, hes still not quite ready to let his relationship with his father go, so he keeps in contact, which often led to fights with Shawn, as well as the fact that Finn still has not outed himself in front of his father out of fear of rejection

MOTHER | Yeon Soo Bak | 47 years | owns a café | similarly rocky, they are now at a good point but he knows his mother struggles with his identity and life choices, so much she tried to manipulate a lot of things in the past but learned to leave that be, he is grateful towards her for leaving his father when she did. he bought her a café cause he loves her so much

SISTER | Sun Marise Haywood, née Jeong-Bak | 24 years | stay at home mom | he was always close to his sister, she just assimilated into his friend group in high school, and still is an important part of his life, or is again, they had a phase of not talking after some jealousy issues regarding his relationship with Shawn and her friendship with him, Sun is very protective over her brother and his mental instability and does her best to keep him healthy. That includes a very strict anti-Shawn stance, regarding the pain he has caused her brother in the past. Sun is happily married and has a daughter, a fact that somewhat relieves Finn, at least someone in the family that fulfills their mother’s wishes.

NIECE | Molly Florence Haywood | 4 months | A literal baby. Finn famously is not very keen on children, especially babies and goes out of their way. His niece however managed to steal his heart, plus he can just give her back to her mother when she becomes troublesome, the ideal arrangement. He likes to spoil her.. not that she would care at this point.

HALFBROTHER | Bryant Cole Reno | 7 years | student | His father’s illegitimate child with an American prostitute. Classy. But not Bryant’s fault. Finn learned of his existence when he was 3 and has since then sort of taken part in raising him, not that he would ever consider that to be true. He is very sensible to his brothers living conditions considering the bad stuff he himself experienced growing up, and does his best to ensure him to grow up happy and healthy, which includes denying him contact with their father (despite not pulling the same measures for himself). Bryant is a smart kid, overachieving, Finn already feels like he is dancing circles around him, and truly does not know where the kid gets it from.

FRIENDS: Noteworthy are on the Canadian side: His childhood/youth best friend Kitty (deceased), almost equally important Logan & Colin (all three of them share a brain cell), his ex-girlfriend of 5 years Emily (rocky long distance friendship atm), ex-affair & close friend Raphael (his voice of reason). On the American side: Close friends Randy (trashfire bff) & Jade (cinnamon bun), his ex-boyfriend of ~4 years Shawn (heartbreak!!).

S.O.: No one atm cause he is, even after 2 years apart, still very much desperately hung up on Shawn and not getting over that breakup anytime soon. Learning that Shawn is in a new relationship has thoroughly pulled the rug out from under him and left him questioning why Shawn managed to move on so much quicker (and if the other guy is more attractive than him). He also struggles very much with the fact that Shawn has made extremely positive progress in the two years without him (unable to see that the same is applicable to himself too).

I guess that still deserves an entry here:

Shawn Alexander | 28 years | currently Barkeeper & Musician | Shawn comes from a rich family and therefore has the polar opposite starting conditions to Finn, but nonetheless experienced many shared interests, but also miseries, from abusive fathers to drug use. With two general distinctions: While Finn’s mother acted after discovering the abuse, Shawn’s mother stayed complicit. While Shawn escaped into his heroin addiction, Finn developed an strict anti-drug stance after Kitty’s death. They were a volatile mixture, the good times were extraordinarily good, the bad ones catastrophic, with Finn quickly acting out when cornered and Shawn reacting aggressively, their fights were often ruthless. Finn has considered many times since they broke up that maybe people who love each other, even this strongly, are not necessarily automatically meant to be together. That does naturally not have any impact on his feelings or his lacking ability to act reasonable when it comes to emotions.

OCCUPATION: Professional Tennis Player (out of spite)

CHARACTER: self-confident | loving (to ppl close to him), mostly distant or rude to ppl he does not know | does not hide his moodiness or discontent just to be polite | charming | energetic | passionate | ambitious | helpful & loyal towards his loved ones | savior/helper syndrome | self-sacrificing | engaging | resourceful | proud | vain | irritable | competitive | playful | needy | keeps problems to himself | mayor problem with authority figures | moody | hyperactive | has NO patience for stuff that does not interest him/seem unimportant to him | messy | unforgiving | stubborn | struggles with feelings of guilt towards many things | has bipolar disorder and changes between episodes of excessive confidence, an appetite for risk, high motivation and sex drive, and episodes of apathy and depression with reoccurring suicidal ideations, but he has in later years learned to manage these mood swings better with a mixture of medication and rigid routines

ABILITIES: highly athletic, good cook, excellent singer & musician, good technical understanding (esp. towards cars), fluent in french (native) & english, minor knowledge of korean

INTERESTS: cooking, music, sports, cars, video games, podcasts about movies, games, techincal innovations and whatever obscure topic interests him at the moment (podcasts, games and other media is stuff that he only recently discovered for himself, since his job does not allow for a lot of time with his friends, so that’s his compensation)

APPEARANCE: 6′3″ tall and muscular (but too lean for his liking, he cannot built up mass for the love of it), dark brown eyes and nearly black hair, currently a little over chin long but worn in a bun or ponytail (he feels like short hair makes him look like a child, but he’s also just too busy/lazy to get haircuts every couple of weeks), a prominent scar runs through his left eyebrow, he has multiple tattoos, a flower pattern on the inside of his right arm, a skeleton with a laurel wreath on the inside of his left arm, a geometric pattern just above his ankle on the inside of his right leg, more geometric patterns on his shoulder blades and a moth in the middle just below his neck

PLOTPOINTS: born in Montreal to south korean parents | best friends with Kitty (Catherine) | best friends with Logan & Colin | struggles in school because of growing up with multiple languages, hyperactivity and later problems with authority figures | free time either spent on the streets with his friends or with his father at his job as a mechanic | relationship with Emily age 13 | growing behavioral issues at first misunderstood as ‘only’ adhd | starting music (drumming, later other instruments) & sport (tennis) to make him tired | dedication to sport & music as compensation for bad schoolwork, to show he’s at least good at something | father loses job, becomes driving instructor | move to poorer area of town | added stress in family setting | with 15 diagnosis BPD after behavioral issues became increasingly dangerous | Finn becomes aware of his father’s drinking problem, often being the one to take care of him during and after these times | with 16 affair with 25 yo Raphael (in hindsight Finn finds this somewhat alarming) | more time spent away from the family, more time on the streets with minor criminal activities & drug use (in varying degrees, Kitty taking heroin being the strongest) | school work evens out through good grades in subjects he was interested in vs bad grades in everything else | with 18 family vacation in New York, Finn meets Shawn, they have an ons | break-up with Emily, after she finds out about his affair & one-night-stands | after Finn & the others were away for another vacation they come back to find out that Kitty has used the opportunity to kill herself with a planned overdose, Finn never reads the good-bye letter, he spends the next months in a state of emotional crisis and gives up on finishing school, when he can get out of bed he spends his time with sports as an distraction | Jin-hee’s alcoholism & job clash as he and a student get in an accident with alcohol in Jin-hee’s system, he loses his job and the trial, now having to pay heavy compensation for the damages, pushing the family further into poverty | Finn and his father start to fight more and more, with Jin-hee’s condition worsening and Finn provoking him, either actively, or by choosing not to carry his weight in the family and generally being an undesirable son, resulting in Jin-hee venting his anger by hitting his son | with Finn turning 21 his mother definitively discovers what had been going on, she leaves Jin-hee in an ugly divorce, takes her kids & moves to New York | despite everything Finn keeps contact with his father and has somehow managed to mostly forgive him | Finn & Shawn meet again & quickly end up in a relationship | when Finn learns about Shawn’s heroin addiction he wants to end things, but decides to give him a chance | what follows is 4-5 years up and down with two break-ups, one after a series of misunderstandings and meddling from Yeon that end up with Finn cheating, another one after a burned Shawn learns, after giving it another chance, about things that Finn has hidden from him, such as Jin-hee’s illegitimate child that Finn himself has only recently met, and a row of events unfold that lead to Shawn attempting but failing suicide | when he learns about it Finn declares Shawn as dead in his eyes and tells him he never wants to see him again | another emotional crisis for Finn and again he throws himself into sports to drown out the bad thoughts and make himself too tired to think, only this time he meets the right people and with the right support ends up gliding into the professional sports world | he spends the next two years building up his carrer like a madman and thoroughly enjoys being occupied at all times, as well as for the first time in his life having a stable and strict rhythm to his days, a healthy sleep cycle & positive reaffirmation that help with his mental stability.. oh, and he’s pining for Shawn of course

BONUS INFO: I created him when i was a wee teen but wrote him in different RPGs almost till today, so there were a lot of different versions and revisions. Originally he was a caucasian redhead, it was only years later that i put it together that much of his family dynamics and some of his character would very much fit a minority/immigrant narrative. He was always french-canadian, but in the beginning he moved to England instead of New York (fun fact: it was Canterbury, which is why i later used the city for Teddy instead). Really sad to have lost Shawn’s accent, but honestly it makes much more sense for the city to be so much closer to home. If i would call any of my OCs my main OC it would definitely be Finn, he is my obsession, there’s next to no days where i don’t imagine him in some sort of scenario, AU or canon. I am however hesitant to use him for anything, since part of his story, meaning Shawn’s character, belongs to my friend Mel, who i’ve lost contact with. When i was last writing him in a RPG i used korean actor Kim Bum for his faceclaim, and i still like to reference his pictures, look him up and you’ll see what i mean with Finn looking younger with shorter hair.

NAME/NICKNAME: Wendell Theodore Parker / Teddy

AGE/BIRTHDAY: 19 years / 23.09.

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: British / Caucasian (or whatever the god side counts as)

BASED ON: originally comes from a Percy Jackson RPG

GENDER/SEXUALITY: Cis Male / gay

FAMILY: FATHER | Julien Samuel Parker | 45 years | cardiologist

MOTHER | Demeter | goddess of harvest, agriculture & fertility of the earth

STEPMOTHER | Katherine Marie Parker | 44 years | lector

HALF-BROTHER | Bradley Howard Parker | 24 years | author (alias J. B. Baxter)

HALF-SISTER | Amanda Carrie Parker | 20 years | student of cultural sciences

+ a shitton of half-siblings on Demeter’s side

FRIENDS: Rufus Whitmore | 19 years | Son of Apollo | Actually Zeke’s best friend and No. 1 in the ‘kick Zeke in the ass to make him stand by his feelings club’ which is why Teddy is phenomally thankful for the support. Maybe due to his dad Rufus generally has a very healing, hardworking and good-natured personality, though combined with a bit of a superiority complex.

Caspar Renier | 19 years | Son of Dyonisus | With Dyonisus practically being the party god and all Caspar is very much the agent of chaos in Teddy’s life. He lives for experiencing new and exciting things and likes to incite the same in others. While Teddy loves all things safe, Caspar brings the risk, but somehow the two manage not to annoy each other, but to balance things out. Caspar is Teddy’s best friend since the early days of the academy and reason for many good things that Teddy would have otherwise been too timid about.

Riley O’Donovan | 20 years | Son of Ares | Basically Teddy’s arch nemesis since the early academy days. For some reason he has decided that Teddy was just the right person to push around and pick on, supported by his twin and another half-brother. Teddy, being the pacifist that he is, and generally trying to avoid confrontation, did his best to stay out of their ways, telling himself that fighting back would only make them fight harder. Teddy was with them when the academy was attacked and Riley’s brothers died. Together they fought and survived. At their next meeting they quietly recognized that the experience had connected them and to let bygones be bygones. They are developing an akward friendship with lots of guilt and grief, that’s mostly consistent of helping each other out and, weirdly enough, unquestionable trust through shared trauma.

S.O.: Zeke... i don’t remember his surname, since Teddy is a RPG character he is obviously another person’s character, i’ll try to think back on more info. As a Hermes son he is the charming wayfarer type person, with a guitar on his back and a taste for freedom, i believe he was a year older than Teddy. The relationship is rocky at best and Teddy feels unloved most of the time but his intense feelings for Zeke make him want to hold on and hope for the better just for a little while longer.

OCCUPATION: Student

CHARACTER: honest | childlike | naive, gullible & foolish | clumsy | ambitious | enthusiastic | family oriented | safety & harmony loving | loyal | nervous & talkative when unsure in social/new situations | sulky & stubborn when unhappy | imaginative | resourceful | huge need for affection & validation | unknowingly competent in dangerous situations | meek | kind | helpful | justice loving | superstitious | clingy | hyperactive | chaotic | defensive | diplomatic | jealous | emotional | caring | empathic | curious | fair | friendly | happy-go-lucky | generous | sociable | lively | manipulative | self-indulgent | open | pushy | romantic | tolerant | impatient, but unpunctual | fear of loss | playful | wavering | brave when it counts | pacifistic

ABILITIES: [supernatural] control over plants and weather in the immediate vicinity, too much use of his abilities quickly causes hunger, headaches, nausea & exhaustion | an integral instinct about the beginning and natural end of lives, when he concentrates he can tell a person’s age, or if they are close to the end of their lives in case of a natural death. he chooses not to use this ability | his control of plants is quite trained, changes in the weather are mostly out of his control & follow violent mood swings. They show themselves as changes in temperature in his immediate vicinity

[other] low abilities in sword fighting (he shows little motivation because of his pacifistic nature, but has good instinct when it is necessary), slightly better at archery & hand to hand combat, good at riding & general animal handling

INTERESTS: monsters, he has an affinity for anything monstrous and creepy, in fiction & reality, as a unusual choice for Demeter children he wants to work with monsters in some capacity in the future | animals | plants

APPEARANCE: unkempt wavy to curly blonde hair in various states of darker blonde to bleached to grown out color, darker blue/green eyes, 5′10″, cycles through being slightly underweight & healthier depending on his mental state, his clothing style has no apparent rhyme or reason and consists of anything he likes, mostly color- & youthful, wears a leather necklace with a coin pendant at all times. he chooses to be mostly clean shaven, but has a surprisingly strong beard growth

PLOTPOINTS: born, officially, as the 3rd child of the parker family based in Canterbury, happily growing up in a loving upper to middle class family | only trouble so far is the inability to sit still and concentrate on school classes | with 14 he learns of his true nature and the world of gods & demigods | spirals into thoughts of being an outcast and disruptive in his family, considering his father’s infidelity and his ‘mother’s’ will to live with her husband’s illegitimate child | decides to run away after witnessing a fight between his parents while on vacation in America | gets picked up by Zeke, another runaway child, and as it happens another demigod | after sharing their stories Zeke reunites Wendell with his family against his will, Teddy initially resents him for it | the family reconciles, Wendell’s ‘mother’ confirms how much she sees him as her own son | Teddy starts to visit Gaia Academy during his regular school holidays, where demigods get educated and trained according to their special circumstances eg. myths, monster attacks & magical abilities | his brother begins to write about a fictional character based on Teddy’s life and has success with a series of children’s books | reconciliation & later close friendship with Zeke | big homesickness | a bad first romantic/sexual experience, the adjustment to the world of myths & the stress of constant change between regular school & academy life leads to an overwhelming sense of loss of control, which results in an eating disorder that he learns to control via therapy and his family’s support | dreams of becoming a monster herdsman despite his lack in battle prowess due to his strict pacifistic beliefs | is bullied by 3 Ares sons during most of his time at Gaia | gets in the awkward situation of falling in love with his close friend and self-proclaimed heterosexual Zeke, feels the situation is too hopeless and the friendship too precious to do anything about it | pines for years | drunkenly kisses Zeke after receiving a thoughtful birthday gift (aforementioned necklace) | panics about said kiss after Zeke steers clear of him for the rest of the week | turns out Zeke just had a whole week of gay panic™ and needed some time to come to terms with maybe possibly being in love with a guy despite not usually being attracted to men | Zeke confesses & agrees to a relationship | the thing is messy, with lots of sneaking around and no pda, even in private, allowed as Zeke struggles with a religious upbringing and acceptance of his new identity | as a whole Teddy deals poorly with this behavior but endures for the chance of being with his hopeless yearlong never gonna happen crush | meanwhile the world of the demigods is in chaos with wars between different pro- and anti-god-fractions | when an anti-god-organization attacks the academy, Teddy is forced to fight and kill to survive next to his longtime bullies | he & his loved ones survive but afterwards he is not only traumatized by his own actions and the things he has seen, but also the fact that he of all people survived while better fighters died | while the academy reorganizes itself he spends time at home and struggles with the discrepancy between his vs his family’s experiences and not being able to share what happened with a medical professional to work through his trauma | disillusioned he decides it is time for him to mature, when the academy reopens at a new location he dedicates himself to more battle training and after reconciling with the one surviving bully through their shared experience even asks the ares son for personal training

BONUS INFO: Oh, Teddy boy! He also went through several RPGs and rewrites. The first one was a pretty basic Percy Jackson RPG, with Camp Halfblood and all. In that version Teddy was a child of Hebe, and chose to leave his home in one of the many Springfields in America for the safety of his family, since monster attacks suddenly started happening. On his way to the Camp he met Zeke, they had a little road trip and fought their way to their destination. It was a lovely story of hurt/comfort with Teddy being helplessly lost and scared and Zeke taking care of him. An unlikely team that strangely worked out. The whole runaway thing in his current story might not make a lot of sense, but it was our way of incorporating the original runaway/road trip story that was near and dear to our hearts. I’m not sure why i ended up making him a brit when we switched forums, maybe because i missed British Shawn and had to make up for it. The new RPG obviously had a lot of changes on the Percy Jackson Story, it was just inspired by the idea of demigod children but that was about it. Again, since Zeke is not my character i am hesitant to work with this, also i would like to make the setting more original, though i guess there’s only so much you can do with demigods, maybe creating an entirely new pantheon idk. That’s the problem with RPG characters i suppose, they are rarely uninfluenced from other people’s creations, and often based on preexisting works, but i refuse to give up on him. When i first created him i had Boyd Holbrook in mind. (Which is very fun considering his look in Logan, i imagine later Teddy to look like that and what a big fucking ooc contrast that would be to him rn.) Here is an avatar that captures the Teddy feel during the original road trip very well, bonus the matching Zeke ava (obviously portrayed by Jackson Rathbone), bonus bonus a Rufus ava, ft. Aaron Taylor-Johnson:

NAME/NICKNAME: Avery Sanders / Ace of Spades (a sort of artist’s name), Ace

AGE/BIRTHDAY: 22 years / 15.05.

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: American / Caucasian? (or whatever, the god thing, plus he does not know his dad)

BASED ON: said Percy Jackson inspired RPG

GENDER/SEXUALITY: Cis male / asexual (/ poly/panromantic?? he does not know either or really care honestly it’s all just whatever)

FAMILY: FATHER | Michael Hide | deceased

MOTHER | Nyx | goddess of the night, daughter of chaos

HALFBROTHER/LEGAL GUARDIAN | Dale Sanders | 42 years | ?? occupation: lying bastard weasel?? | Their relationship sure is something. In short Ace IDOLIZES his brother big time, though he would never say those words out loud but it is very fucking clear to everyone. He is like a miniature Dale, or trying to be, or trying to surpass him. This makes the last developments in Ace’s story very very complicated. He’s still kinda brainwashed enough that he’s still holding on to the hope that he’s just not informed enough to understand his brother’s motives.

FRIENDS: Benedict Bovine | 21 years | Son of Morpheus | Ben & Ace were roommates in the academy, and no friends for a long time. The Morpheus son was just too much for him, too happy, too optimistic, too intrusive, too annoying. But that’s probably exactly the personality you have to have to stick with Ace and not give up on actually truly befriending him. Somewhere along the way they ended up being best friends which Ace is secretly desperately clinging to because not too many people bother with trying to get close to him even with him being actively unapproachable. Ben has gained a special status in his life and therefore special treatment, namely experiencing Ace’s more positive characteristics and rare insights behind the mask.

Elisabeth Fendi | 22 years | Daughter of Nike | As a Nike daughter she likes challenges, and befriending or even dating Ace certainly is just that. But she had positive reinforcement by looking at Ben’s & Ace’s relationship and knew the goal was achievable. Long story short Ace lost a bet and had to go out with her, and actually kinda enjoyed her ambitious, competitive nature. She whittled him down to becoming friends at least. They certainly do not treat each other overly tender, but that suits both of their nature’s just fine. Elisabeth just kinda started hanging around Ace & Ben and the three are now sticking together.

S.O.: Well not sure actually, there was one version of the Story where Ace dated a girl named Liz, and Elisabeth certainly has some of her characteristics. But it definitely occurred to me that Ace himself has no desire to actually pursue a romantic or sexual relationship of any kind, but has no problem having sex if it just happens to happen. In another version of the story Ben, Ellie & Ace end up having a threesome under somewhat dramatic circumstances and i’ve been playing with the idea of both Ben & Ellie looking to enter a polyamorous relationship with Ace and him just kinda going along with it cause it’s whatever to him and he loves and trusts them and likes being close to them so it’s not a huge difference to him anyways.. which would just be Ace clumsily trying to show his genuine feelings for once and learning how to express affection, both physically & romantically and probably failing a lot. I think i’m sticking with it but i’m not sure about the circumstances yet.

OCCUPATION: Student

CHARACTER: callous | unimpressed & unfazed | has built up a pretty impenetrable unapproachable wall & layers of alter-egos before anyone can end up actually getting to know HIM | lone wolf | slightly misanthropic traits | paranoid & suspicious | fake superiority complex, talks himself into feeling superior to cover up insecurities | cool | hardy | streetwise | casual, mostly outwards to reaffirm his cool, relaxed persona | stoic pokerface | disrespectful unless respect is earned (mostly through undeniable talent in skills he considers worthy) | rebellious, tactless, provoking | trouble with authority figures | might not show his emotions but has no trouble speaking his mind even in unhelpful ways | critical, towards himself and others, actively looks for flaws | show-off | willing to learn & commit himself to bettering his abilities at all times | proud (of his abilities and his reputation) | long-sighted, analytical & strategic thinking | intuitive | resourceful | has talent to lead but decides not to, does not want responsibility over the actions of others | keeps his word always, to a fault, even when joking | persistent | humorous, ironic & sarcastic | underneath his fake persona actually awfully sincere, it just takes time to get there | pathologically loyal | protective, self-sacrificing & caring towards close friends | despite everything and unbeknownst to himself actually undeniably morally good & heroic

ABILITIES: [supernatural] control over shadows | sensing nightmares | Ace is rather trained in hiding in or concealing his movements with shadows, depending on the time of day and the contrast in shadows he can completely hide his presence, the later it gets in the day the easier it is. The control over seeing other people’s fears and nightmares on the other hand is completely out of his hand, it usually happens against his will and leaves him with an aftertaste of said fear that he then carries around for a couple of days.

[other] excellent speed & sword fighting | years of hellish training with his brother have left Ace with an uncanny reaction speed and instinct towards incoming danger, his battle prowess has led to many monster encounters that at this point are neither hard nor surprising.. and honestly kinda fun | musical talent | Ace has lost his heart to electronical music and uses much of his free time to create his own tracks under the pseudonym Ace of Spades. They are mostly rap & electronic mash ups and remixes of popular songs with his personal spin added to them | composure | at any given time Ace has trained himself to stay calm and not show his feelings, so much that at this point he can hardly stop it, which leads to many frustrated people in his life who constantly have to guess what he’s feeling or if he’s even feeling anything at all. It has also made him a practically unbeatable poker player

INTERESTS: music | big city life | close quarter combat | technical gadgets esp. for creating music  | challenges | irony | birds | movies & games & writing reviews | dumb irony, he lives for it, he has picked the elective prophecy class that is meant for the demigod children that actually have some sort of fortune telling ability, just because he thinks it is funny to sit between these actually clairvoyant people as a clearly non-gifted person trying to read something in tea leaves or whatever that has no reason to be true, he goes very long ways for stupid jokes & stories that might end up amusing just himself

APPEARANCE: light blonde hair cut into a buzz cut for convenience, almond shaped light blue/grey eyes, with his 5′8″ a little under average height with a broad build, average weight, his athleticism is countered by bad eating habits and most of his hobbies consisting of siting around for an extended amount of time, almost perpetually wearing a pair of ray-ban sunglasses (he’s light sensitive and likes to hide his eye-movements, but also just thinks it’s cool, as an added bonus it seems to provoke people), his clothing is mostly athletic and casual but he also enjoys throwing people off with unusual pieces, often seen with baseball-caps front or backwards facing, generally not a lot of effort put into his appearance aside from maybe considering what would make the look ironic, also owed to lack of money, lots of his clothes are worn out hand me downs from his brother peppered with the weird shit you can get at thrift stores

PLOTPOINTS: Since his father died while his mother was pregnant she had to improvise and ended up leaving the baby at one of her other son’s doorsteps | Dale, probably rather incompetently, improvised and with lots of peculiar quirks, raises the kid in a tiny, rundown Chicago apartment supporting both of them with occasional part-time jobs | With his knowledge of the world of the gods Dale decides to prepare his half-brother early | Once he learns that that is not normal Ace spends some time worrying about his brothers sanity, regarding the unusual habit of teaching a kid sword fighting and testing his abilities with surprise attacks, but enjoys himself too much to question it (he never thinks about that the constant vigilance and dedicated training might be considered somewhat abusive living conditions for a child - might not have been healthy but it DID make him stronger and that was surely a good thing Dale had in mind, very normal, totally okay.. he is incapable of seeing, or wanting to admit to his brother’s flaws) | They live off fast-food or anything they can get their hands on, with occasional unpaid electricity bills or similar poor conditions, but with a strong sense of solidarity | School was not his favorite thing, he had to get out of his - in his eyes - fun unusual living conditions to sit still and be well behaved and listen to weird stiff adults, and the children made fun of his ragged clothing and general otherness | Spends his free time exploring Chicago, roaming the streets, getting into minor trouble here and there, or with his brother, fighting or watching him make music or play around with electronics, or watching movies, playing games | As is tradition, learns he is a demigod with 14 which honestly does not really come as a huge surprise to him, at least his brother did not turn out to be some weird doomsday nutjob and had a reason for all the sword fighting | Gets kinda excited in hopes of getting along better with other demigods than he did with the other human students.. turns out him being a demigod was not the problem in the first place. Does at least find some like-minded people in his half-siblings. | At home he starts part-time jobs to support his brother, starts making music himself, has several blogs with movie and game reviews, and of course the usual duels between him and Dale, which he never once wins | After graduating regular school with 19 he is not very motivated to continue his training at the academy, but is basically tricked into finishing it anyways, by his brother suggesting he would win this one since he himself has never graduated Gaia. At last, something to be better at than his brother! | When the academy is attacked by an anti-god-organization Ace fights easily and competently.. till he is faced with fighting the one person he has never beaten, his brother. He fights him anyways, conflicted by the feeling of betrayal and sheer disbelief that this could actually be happening. Naturally he loses and ends up skewered through his torso by his brothers sword. When he is unconscious he gets saved and healed by Apollo children, and the fight is over when he wakes up again. He first of all tries to find out if his brother was maybe captured or killed, but finds no trace of him. | When he returns home while the academy reorganizes he finds the apartment empty, half hoping for his brother to come home so he can confront him, his top priority being to learn why his brother has been acting that way because he still refuses to believe that he actually tried to kill him, and rather wants to think that Dale must have had SOME kind of reason that would make all of this okay. | Dale never returns. Ace bitterly sells all of Dale’s belongings to pay for the bills of the apartment that he is suddenly sitting on all by himself, which makes his home very sad and very empty | Ellie and Ben visit him, well aware that Ace’s entire worldview has been shattered and not trusting him not to do something reckless [enter possible threesome here?] | Ace starts to obsessively try to find out about Dales whereabouts and the group he was working with, both Ellie and Ben being annoyed and worried about him doing this on his own refusing any help or interference | Ace manages to find what he believes to be a temporary hideout for the organisation and some documents that he hopes to find further clues in | When the Academy re-opens Ellie & Ben convince him to go back there, with Ace secretly just hoping to hear more about the official measures of the demigod world that have been put in place to find and stop the organization | He shares the found information with what is basically the equivalent of the police in the demigod world, and exclaims to be eager and capable to join any deployment, but is of course refused | Instead he silently plans to take off on his own again, hoping to find his brother for answers or revenge, depending on the outcome

Okay, but here’s the FUN part of the whole story, something that Ace is not even aware of anymore: When he is 18 he finds out about his brothers activity in the anti-god organization (their name is rubicon by the way) and is as always immediately willing to copy his brother and join them, regardless of their shady morals. Thing is, they have a selection process where they have an oracle check potential candidates, turns out the oracle decides that Ace’s heart is just too good and pure in the end to make him an effective member. They alter his memories, fill them with a normal summer of an 18 year old Ace, and send him back home none the wiser that he would have absolutely done the exact same things he found so impossible for his brother to be doing that it ruined his entire conception of the world. Fun. I hope he does not find out.

BONUS INFO: I cannot begin to describe how funny it is to read Ace’s character sheet. Sounds conceited maybe, but every time i reread it, which is maybe once every couple of years, i make myself cry from amusement. It’s so stupid. It is completely written in his voice and it is fucking hysterical, he is such an idiot wow. His vita starts with a rewrite of Will Smith’s Prince of Belair rap, and that’s just the beginning. I wish i could show you but it’s in German so that’s probably useless for most of you. But please know that i really fucking love it and am amazed that i wrote that at some point. I always had trouble figuring out how i want him to look. I believe i used Garrett Hedlund as a faceclaim on the RPG site, but it was not 100% fitting. Dacre Montgomery’s portrayal of Billy in Stranger Things has some Ace vibes, but also not entirely. Imagine their lovechild i guess. I also never planned on him being asexual, the connection to his name was not planned at all, it just hit me a couple of months ago out of nowhere and i immediately knew it was true. Of course he is asexual!! Also i have not yet decided whether his brother is an absolute cold bastard, or if Ace’s instincts about him having reasons are right. Regardless, Dale’s treatment of Ace is not okay from the very beginning. That’s where this whole story started, cause i found it so interesting for the idealized bigger brother that just seems to be cool and fun to actually be somewhat or very much abusive, e.g. Dave & Bro Strider in Homestuck who were very much the stepping stone here. I really liked Bro when i first read it as a baby teen, and then later saw the discourse over him being abusive, and only then did i realize shit you’re right in actual real life that stuff would be ptsd inducing wow, in that very moment i myself was Ace and had my weird idealized image shattered, so i wanted to make a character that could show how easily it is to overlook this stuff sometimes. Also totally just forgot for a while how sad a lot of his character is, ppl did not like him even before he made himself hard to be liked so he’s very distrusting and negative towards people for a long time.😥 Better make up a weird persona for people to dislike at least they’re not disliking my actual self cause they never actually get to see it. WHELP most of my other characters are either fun or tragic depending on the situation, Ace is just both simultaneously at all times

NAME: Asher ? [he is still unfinished since i never used him for anything so don’t mind the questionmarks]

AGE/BIRTHDAY: 21 years / 06.07.

NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY: American / Caucasian

BASED ON: /

GENDER/SEXUALITY: Cis male / gay

FAMILY: FATHER | ? ? | 42 years | multibillionaire business man / sociopath criminal | their relationship can very much be described as a hostage situation, there is nothing pleasant here, his father obsesses over his legacy and the idea of what he wants Asher to be and Asher resents him with a burning passion

MOTHER | ? ? | 41 years | unfortunate trophy wife | there is not much of an actual relationship here, since he started art school they have pretty much not talked a single word, he resents her for being distant and quiet and complicit in his father’s behavior

SISTER | Claire ? | 22 years | various creative part time jobs | the one that luckily got away!! Claire dodged a major bullet and got out of there as soon as she could, living her dream as a independent artist in various fields from writing plays to performance art, Asher adores her & would never tell her about the truth of his situation since she got out of there unscathed, they call each other regularly, but don’t see each other as much as they would like to, she is a big reason for his own interest in art

SISTER | Stella ? | 5 years | Kindergartener | Stella is loud and quick and knows no boundaries, a happy energetic little girl. Asher probably spoils her. 

BROTHER | Leo ? | 5 years | Kindergartener | Stella’s twin brother but the polar opposite. Timid, soft-spoken and kindhearted. Asher probably spoils him too. Asher is also fiercely overprotective in regards to his brother, cause he knows how his father likes to treat his sons. Luckily he also knows that his father would takes his sweet time before revealing his true self, but he dreads the possibility of his father involving his brother earlier nonetheless.

FRIENDS: May ? | 21 years | photography student | awfully loyal, May comes from a rich family herself and can therefore understand or excuse a lot of Asher’s less pleasant traits, she is too stubborn to let him push her away and is glad he has mostly given up towards her, now she just has to get him to treat others the same way. knows he has troubles with his father, but does not know the specifics since Asher would rather take that info to his grave to protect her. is worried, always, since Adam disappeared, but has no other solution but soft encouragement for Asher to move on

S.O.: Devin ? | 20 years | animation student | Half Mexican/Half Afro-American. Anxiety kid, moves to his father’s new family & his sister because they live closer to his future art school, falls in love with the wrong white boy. Big nerd, big introvert, all about anime & games, spends more time on the internet than anywhere else (sound familiar anybody?🙈). Romanticizes the wrong behaviors. Draws, a lot, any given time, super talented, Asher envies him. Big cuddly, kind, somewhat shy and self-conscious, cannot say no or be mean most of the time. Just 100% good soul. Shows Asher the wonderful world of fiction and other entertainment cause that guy apparently grew up in a cave. Asher is 100% hurt and Devin is 100% comfort, Asher feels bad about that. Devin is impressively patient and supportive and the sole reason Asher can breathe again. Sometimes. Asher does not know what he could possibly be bringing to the table but Devin seems content, Asher does not understand why.

OCCUPATION: Student of Photography/Economics Night school

CHARACTER: i feel like Asher needs two separate character descriptions since he’s living in extreme circumstances that have greatly changed his characteristics over the course of a year or two, but i’m sticking with Asher today, just know that he used to be happy, carefree, outgoing, a huge charmer, even a flirt, remnants of some of these more positive traits can still be found if you catch him in the right moment.. and then there’s the things he mostly pretends to be that don’t really belong there either, but i guess that shows how others perceive him

mean | snobbish | intelligent | dedicated | disciplined | hard working | gloomy | moody | prone to breakdowns & panic attacks | snippy | judgmental | cocky | angry | volatile | creative | a good eye for aesthetics | charming if needed | standoffish | pushes people away by being deliberately cruel | generous | righteous | pacifist | caring | puts other’s safety before his own to extreme measures, self-sacrificing | puts others first in general | detail oriented | meticulous | fussy | spoiled | controlled when he has to be | overtly loving & affectionate when possible | excitable | goes to extremes in anything | quick & easy liar | hedonist | tense | intense | stands up for others in threatening or unjust situations | thoughtful | pathologically vigilant, paranoid & distrustful | enduring | ambitious | careful | cynical | unboastful | on a dnd alignment scale i would actually put him on either lawful or chaotic good, he wants to do the morally right thing in all situations | guilt riddled & self-punishing | loyal | devoted | confident

ABILITIES: His father’s irrevocable antiquated notion of how a person of his status has to be educated resulted in a flashflood of tutors from the moment Asher was capable of learning things, involving classical music, several languages, riding, sailing, debating and the more exceptional choices of self-defense through various ways including knife and gun handling, owed to his father’s choice of a rather dangerous lifestyle. The only ability that grew out of his own interests is anything regarding photography. He also has the uncanny ability to switch personas in an instant, he can go from cold asshole to so charming that it puts others at ease, to collected proud superior son in a second, depending on what is needed, these different modes are crucial for his survival.

INTERESTS: Art | Music | Culture | Traveling | Minor Drug-use | a budding interest in manga, anime and video games of all things, thanks to Devin

APPEARANCE: Groomed snobby rich boy that looks down on you. Black hair, pale blue eyes, 6′0″ tall, lean. Judging by his clothes alone obviously wealthy. Mostly somewhat sophisticated with lots of dress shirts and classy cuts. A serious young man! Contrasted by more relaxed clothing choices in his personal space. Mostly black & darker colors. Tattoo of a dead raven on the inside of his right underarm, he hides it in front of his father who hates it. Unquestionably a pretty boy™ but Asher has grown to detest his looks, avoiding mirrors or photographs. He looks too much like his father. Has dimples if he smiles brightly but nobody gets to see them anymore.

PLOTPOINTS: The most entertaining way to start the story is probably through Devin’s POV, and then explaining Asher’s behavior with his life story. Very quickly: Devin, moving to his father to visit the art school in an nearby town, is searching for a new therapist he had been visiting for social anxiety, through a work connection his father organizes an appointment with an prestigious therapist before the schoolyear starts. He gets curious about this well dressed tense looking guy he sometimes meets in the waiting room, and starts to hope to see him more often, but never manages to work up the courage to say anything, till one day the guy storms in mid breakdown to interrupt Devin’s session and demands that the therapist had to see him immediately. Devin uses the opportunity to get his attention for once and earn some bonus points, graciously offering him his session. He even gets a thanks later when they meet at the pharmacy, so he’s happy, and hopelessly crushing on this dude. With help of his sister he figures out that the guy is actually local celebrity, billionaire son Asher, that just happens to visit the very same art school Devin will be visiting soon. So Devin very much looks forward to that and spends lots of time daydreaming about getting together with Asher, who actually kinda seems pleasantly surprised to see him again in the school setting. Asher is distant, but friendly at first, and thanks to Asher’s  friend May who is welcoming and inviting in Asher’s stead, Devin somehow luckily gets roped up into the group that sometimes hangs out with Asher, with him graciously paying for any expenses. Devin manages to overlook Asher’s more unpleasant sides, willfully focusing on the good stuff instead, not wanting to give up on his little fantasy just yet, with Asher warning that he would and should come to hate him eventually. What follows is a wild up and down of Asher either being sweet or an complete asshole and Devin being thoroughly confused yet intrigued, the guy is obviously troubled, often leaving class early in a panic or not showing up at all and generally looking like a nervous mess on some days, which just makes Devin want to get behind the reason for everything. On one of the sweeter nights he manages to get a kiss out of Asher, only for him to show his cruelest behavior yet the following days, either ignoring him completely or reacting aggressively.  [Cue Asher’s Story:]

Born in a cozy coast town to a filthy rich family. | Firstborn son therefore in his old-fashioned madman of a father’s brain his legitimate heir, instead of his two years older daughter (lucky her tho) | Father puts every breath of his being into grooming Asher to be his successor, which includes high pressure, expectations and next to no free time from an early age. No failure allowed. Knowing nothing but this high pressure environment Asher just complies and honestly somewhat enjoys putting maximum effort into things to please his father and his own ego. | Somewhat sheltered upbringing due to wealth & little free-time | Easy time in private elementary school where a lot of pre-existing effort lets him relax a little more. He makes a row of superficial friends, but still spends most of his time studying, only socializing when socially expected. | Still very success-oriented in high school, but learns to relax a little more around newly made friends of less stressful backgrounds. | Gradually without really realizing when it began ends up in a relationship with lower upper class boy Adam, they later discuss and decide they started dating somewhere around age 15. | The relationship is accepted and free-time allowed as long as Asher continues to perform exceptionally well in everything. | Both boys share their love for art, while Asher starts getting interested in photography, Adam focuses on painting, both inspired by and potentially aiming to later visit the prestigious art school in their hometown | The twins are born! Asher is instantly smitten with the little creatures and proceeds to be a loving brother | Asher’s father starts to take him to business meetings and other professional settings as insight into his later life as his father’s successor. | Asher, most likely not unaffected by his wealth & prominence of his family, has some successful exhibitions of his photographs and gains a small amount of recognition in the art world. He decides to pursue the profession full-time in the future, not entirely revealing the decision to his father just yet, who lets him play around with his hobby as long as he brings home achievements in that area as well | goes into prolonged discussions with his father regarding his wish to study photography, who eventually caves under the condition of Asher simultaneously visiting business classes on weekends or in the evening | Both Asher and Adam get admitted to the art school (it needs a fancy name i just dont have one yet) and study there after their graduation from high school | The meetings Asher’s father brings him to start to kinda rub Asher the wrong way, as some criminal elements get revealed, his father’s comment being that it was time for him to learn about these essential things as well. Asher is morally appalled, but has not even begun to realize the extent of his father’s criminal activities, to which he begins to introduce him more and more in the following years. | Asher eventually fully understands that his father is head of a self-built mafia-like organization that seems to reach most of America in some way, and that that is the true succession his father is grooming him for. While Asher might be able to agree with some of these duties, he soon realizes that most of what his father is expecting him to do from now on are things Asher is not willing to do under any circumstances, like brutally punishing people for offenses against the family in varying ways, that Ashers father insists on carrying out personally to further his ruthless reputation and control over his underlings, partners or rivals. | For the first time in his life he fails to meet his father’s expectations and actively goes against orders which results in his father pressuring him in any way he can. When Adam suddenly disappears without a trace when Asher is 18 he immediately has the uneasy feeling that his father was involved, he did not however anticipate his father actually truly murdering his son’s boyfriend to set an example of what happens when Asher disobeys. | Asher has a complete breakdown, spends some time at a mental health facility, and comes to the decision to tell everything to the police, only to have them call his father and have him pick him up. Further tries to tell any authority about what happened end in similar ways, his father seemingly having control over everything or always being one step ahead. Eventually he threatens Asher that if he continues, he would have him convicted of Adam’s murder, having plenty of psychiatrists to falsely attest to his guilt. Asher refrains from trying to out his father, half because he was scared of the consequences, half because if he truly would go to prison - which at this point did not eve sound bad to him - his father would most likely just shift his attention to his younger brother instead, which ends up as the main intervention to Asher being able to escape the situation in any way. | From now on Asher spends his time terrified and traumatized, trying his best to please his father in ways that do not include physically harming other people. At the same time he starts violently pushing every friend or acquaintance away, to make sure his father would not find another person to use as motivator and punishment. May being the only remnant of his former friend group that refuses to leave his side despite him lashing out against her here and there in hopes for her to finally get it and leave him alone. | A year later there’s this black guy about his age that apparently has the same therapist and ends up in the same class at school and is genuinely nice to him without asking for something in return which hasn’t happened in a while and feels so nice he forgets himself and gets carried away, being nice right back, and unfortunately can’t help himself having lapses in his self-control towards this guy over and over again, cause he’s just so kind and warm and welcoming, and it feels so so nice, but instantly regretting it as Devin gets clingier and bolder, but still not being able to stop entirely, till he stupidly kisses him one night and immediately has nightmares of his father murdering Devin, which allows him to draw the line and finally be as repulsive towards the guy as he should have been from the beginning. I have various potential scenarios in mind for the following  but they mostly go like this: Devin, trying to figure out why Asher is like THAT, learns about his long-time boyfriend disappearing last year and never being found, with the police claiming there were signs of him just running away to a bigger city, but Asher and Adam’s family believing that something must have happened to him. He deduces that Asher has developed a massive fear of abandonment (which in a way is true but way understated) which is why he keeps pushing him away when he gets too close. When he confronts Asher he just gets furious at the mention of Adam and eventually gets so worked up that he starts talking about Devin not understanding ANYTHING and that he has no idea in what kind of situation he could end up in when he sticks too close and that he should just fuck off, but Devin naturally just picks up on the weird shit and Asher sounding increasingly scared, so he keeps poking at the topic till Asher finally breaks down and tells him that his father is basically a sociopathic criminal mass-murderer and being Asher’s friend let alone boyfriend paints a big fucking target, and then he just ends up having to explain the entire situation in hope that Devin learns and just stays quiet but most of all stays the fuck away. Long story short: he doesn’t. He vows not to leave Asher alone with this any longer, and now that he knows that Asher actually likes him there’s no way he would stay away anyways. Asher still very much tries to convince the other one to leave him be, but to no avail. The rest is them finding an arrangement that works out with lots of secrecy and sneaking around and pretending to not even know each other (more or less successful), Asher panicking a lot, and dealing with a shitton of guilt, but kinda learning to live again and not just function miserably, and them trying to find a solution to Asher’s problem that does not involve people potentially dying, and Asher just dreading the next time his father calls him in and what he might expect him to do then. I have more plot points planned out but i’m just gonna keep them for myself for now. 😋

BONUS INFO: First i gotta say Asher is very much a character i created to cope with stuff when i was feeling really fucking low last fall. I made a character that’s hanging on by a thread, because i was, so i could at least use these feelings for more lifelike daydreams and give them more of a purpose and direction. The initial idea that sparked the storyline was a person falling in love with a clearly unwise choice, which ended up being Devin crushing on the dude having a mental breakdown at the therapist’s office (genius boy). Somewhere along the line the main character shifted to Asher because of the aforementioned reasons. Devin’s POV is probably really more entertaining though, since he gets to unfold all the mysteries that Asher is keeping from him. Inspirations? Uhm, i guess Life is Strange (a mixture of Nathan & the Prof, and the art school setting), the general John Wick world and Veronica’s family in Riverdale, god also laurel’s family in htgawm

[linos-teeth]

[1/3] aaa so sorry i didnt realize you answered!! (when is tumblr ever gonna.let.me breathe.i canT EVEN POST ANYTHING THATS BULLSHIT) ermmm so are you in uni now? And wellll hope everything's still fine and that the person hitting you with a stick when you talk bad abt urself is doing a good job! But yeah i understand there's a different pov abt coolness and stuff but uh dont wanna sound discouraged but i waS riGhT we're not rlly friends---

[2/3] but i mean i talk to more ppl in my class and i didnt eat alone too much this week? but dont wanna get my hopes too high you know-that sounds depressing hahahavdjg sorry- + uh we're going to slovakia in early march (we dont speak Slovakian but they learn french and we'll learn abt other cultures which is good since we're in the art section??)- Yay ig- but i'll prob have a girl (thanks mom for not letting me choOsE and NoT acknowledging me being a gUY- fuck you mOm) as a penfriend?

[3/3] Which wouldnt be a problem if i didnt have to share thE sAmE bed with her when they come to france. im already feeling deeply uncomfortable with that but i just cant argue w/ my mom uH i guess i'll find a way or smth (like; coming out AGAIN TO HER (spoiler alert: am too much of a coward to do that a second time so prob wont do)) and just ask her what she's comfortable with- sorry that's probably confusing and uninteresting hdjzvdjx- but tell me about your week?? Or how you're doing! :') 💕

MY DUDE PLEASE DON’T APOLOGISE i’m 100% the worst person to be an anon for with the time i take to answer so rly!! dw abt it but if u want i can like.....rb my replies a day after or so in case u didn’t see?

i’m not at uni yet and there’s been complications :/// i think i told u abt sending the documents but now i have no clue if they got them bc i feel like i should’ve gotten confirmation and the deadline’s long over but i didn’t and now on monday i’ll call there and hope to find out so until then i will just Fear ajhskfjasf it’s fun. but if nothing goes rly wrong i should start there in 2 weeks!! i’ll still be around, more maybe bc i won’t have too many classes and will prolly need smth to procrastinate ;) pls also make me write when that time comes i need. TO WRITE

but yeah that’s how my week has been going.......not great and like not a lot of progress but hey i started a new series so that’s fun!! and i actually giffed??? wow

tbh somehow you always catch me when i have one of my tumblr crises you must have an extra sense for that jfhaksfjasf or maybe i just.....have them a lot which is true tbh. but the stick hitting person is doing amazing and is being so supportive baby if by chance u read this ty!!! u save me i’ve been losing followers these days so i’m kinda scared i’ve been fucking up somehow or that i’ve peaked (which isn’t wrong but i’m still scared) but yeah i’m working on not letting it get to me too hard kinda

uhhhhh??? why would she not want to be friends excuse me (says the one who is literally unable to maintain friendships irl as soon as school/uni is over) either u are friends or u aren’t!! i say she’s missing out for sure. i feel you tbh like?? i’m big loner and i lost count of the times i ate alone (on purpose too tho bc i’m too scared to have ppl around me ESP WATCH ME EAT WTF WHAT IF I’M DISGUSTING) but!!! talking sounds good fuck that’s some brave shit ♥

slovakia sounds fancy!!! i remember getting these ads on tv for it all the time (ads for a country feel so weird but i guess they’re a thing here?? ok) i hope you get to see a lot of cool things!! it’s so amazing when u get the opportunity to go places with school imo bc like....how else will u get around sajskshkfjasf i wish u a great time in advance and like....when u get back maybe u can tell me a bit abt it!! i hope things work out with the lang barrier but i suppose if everything else fails there’s still english? also tell me more abt ur penfriend once u get them that’s so cool!! sucks abt the girl thing but then again i personally think it’s big bs to separate by gender in this day and age like relax.........the mere fact that a person of the opposite gender is in the room with you doesn’t make u have sex with them does it now even if they fit ur general bill attraction wise

but you shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable ofc :/// that’s just shitty how long would it be for? i rly hope you can sort things out with her if it’s a girl!! the coming out again option sounds kinda stressful yeah fjhsfkjashfkas i mean if u had the guarantee she’d understand but?? if you already did it once that’s......messy i’m rly sorry

dw tho!! it wasn’t confusing or uninteresting it’s what ur doing rn and how u feel and i like hearing abt that!! i wish u the best of luck and like....more decent ppl hopefully and a good evening/weekend ♥

[super-gay-dad-friend]

1-30 for the autism asks

1: Did you discover that you are autistic early or later in life? How do you think it affected you?later, comparatively speaking. i think it forced me into isolation and a lot of self-doubt for a long time. 2: Which terms and words do you prefer when talking about autism?i don't really have preference. 3: Do you advocate for yourself and other autistic people?yup!!!4: How did you find out about autism?a friend of mine was diagnosed with aspergers and i did some research and found out about autism spectrum disorders that way. 5: Do you have any autistic family members or autistic friends in real life?nope6: What, in your opinion is your best autism-related quality?my hyperfixation!!7: Which autistic trait gives you the most problems?social awkwardness8: If you could get rid of one and only one autistic trait, would you do it and which would you choose?my inability to read social situations and social boundaries 9: Any autistic traits that you don't have but wish you had?i kinda wish i stimmed more through pressure stims/was more responsive to them!!10: What do you think about support labels as an alternative to functioning labels?i don't know enough on this topic to make a call11: What, in you opinion, is the most ridiculous social protocol rule?no mentioning mental illness/sex/periods/etc - "socially taboo topics"12: What are your hypo- and hyper-sensitivities?hyper:sound and empathy, sometimes touch hypo: pain, light, and color 13: What is/are your current special interest(s)?shiny rocks, borderlands and dishonored, astronomy, the Riemann Hypothesis, and concept art!!14: What is your daily routine like?up at 6:45, coffee at 7, school bus at 7:56, school starts at 8:45, lunch at 11:09, next classes start at 12:06, done with classes at 2:30, home at 4:35, dinner at 7:45, bed at ten. 15: How do you stim?chewing, watching visual stim videos, playing with kinetic sand, and playing with my floam!!!16: Is there any media with canon autistic character(s) you like and would recommend to other autistic people?nah. idk of any media with good portrayals of autistic ppl to begin with. there's an episode of criminal minds where a little autistic boy helps catch a killer because of his daily routine though!!!17: Which characters do you headcanon as autistic and why?Ried from Criminal Minds!!! im a lot like him and frequently project onto him lmao 18: If you could make one accommodation universally available and 100% accepted, which would you choose?body stims!!!! normalizing body stims!!!!! everywhere!!!!!!19: What, in your opinion, is the most ridiculous autism myth or stereotype?that vaccines cause autism or that people "grow out" of their autism 20: How would you describe autism to someone who knows nothing about it?it's basically like a comparison between a newborn horse and a newborn baby when it comes to walking, the horse being the neurotypical and the autistic person being the child. the horse will learn to walk faster, but eventually they will both know how to walk, even if they walk in different ways. 21: Do you have any happy autistic childhood memories?nah22: What, in your opinion, is the best thing about being autistic?chewing is so goddamn relaxing and hugs and cuddles calm me down 5000% more than a neurotypical. also kissing is so much more intense for me. 23: Do you think autism influences your identity, like your gender, sexuality, religious and political views or personality? totally!!!24: Are there any internalized ableist ideas that you struggle with?tons. 25: Do you think we will achieve autism acceptance soon?maybe!! im writing a paper about this right now 26: Are you a no eye contact autistic or excessive eye contact autistic?no eye contact 27: Are you a "no food touching" autistic or "mesh all food up" autistic?no food touching 28: Are you a pretty rock collection autistic or soft stuffed animals collection autistic?rock collection!!!!!29: Are you a get along with kids autistic or slightly afraid of kids autistic?slightly afraid of kids 30: Are you a soft, gentle touches autistic or a deep pressure autistic?both both both I just want physical contact

[moidse]

Okay so, I need to open up about a few things... and its been difficult to find the words. It really resonated with me the other week when you said you just don't want to disappoint me when it comes to sex, i really felt that and wanted to make you feel like i do not see you as a disappointment because i don't-- but it is complicated because i am disappointed that we aren't as sexually compatible as I'd hope-- but i this is something that is outside of either of our control and so i hate to think you are mentally punishing yourself for something that just is. I think thats why this is so hard for me to talk about, because im so scared of hurting you. I just really don't want to hurt you and i feel like i have a wall up when im around you more so then i have with past ppl I've dated-- specifically a wall up about my own sexuality and sexual desires, i notice i do tend to hold back my thoughts and feelings because I worry i would turn you off or just make you uncomfortable and so i just dont say much in regards to you or honestly just my sexual thoughts in general not towards you--i just worry if i shared my sexual desires it would push you away somehow... idk its a tricky situation and ive struggled with how to even discuss it.

Like for example, this is kind of embarrassing to talk about but whatever its not really a secret, so like when i get turned on and overwhelmed i just kinda get quiet and shut down a bit, thats just a thing ive down before ive met you, but like, when this does happen with you I dont know how to even express what is going on through my head because im so worried about making you uncomfortable-- like for instance any party we've gone to together i do get super overwhelmed seeing you in these super hot outfits and i have to constantly tell myself to like keep my eyes looking at your eyes and not wandering and i just dont even know if it would make you feel uncomfortable if i were to say hey i think x body part looks super hot in that.. like or if you'd just laugh at me saying that like when i said i was turned on when we were making out, i just fear the reaction wouldn't be good so i just stay quiet about my thoughts and desires and sometimes it does get to me. When i see you in those outfits when we went to the party, when i see you in those black lacey underwear its like, my brain freezes and is no longer in the present, my consciousness has shifted into all of my fantasy thoughts of how I'd to touch you and everything i wish i could do to you because you look so hot and i cant stop thinking about it and my mind goes off in a daze, like a trance and i feel like normally i would be more vocal about my wants and desires when this happens but with you im like you probably do not wanna hear my thoughts and fantasizes because it would make you uncomfortable/ you are zero percent interested in doing these things and it isnt something hot for you so i just need to not say anything-- and that sometimes does get to me and makes me feel sad a bit... like tbh i do masturbate thinking about you, i mean i have for quite sometime now, and its just like at first i would try not to think about my fantasizes that i felt like you wouldnt be into, i would police fantasizes and be like no leah you can't even think about wanting to do these things... then not super long ago i was like fuck it i can think about whatever i want, i can think about all the things i wish i could do with you... and so i started fantasizing and masturbating to the thought of all the things i wish we would do but im pretty sure are outside of your comfort zone and that's now almost making me sad too-- its like after i cum im just like man that sucks that this is just a fantasy that i can't actually do.

And the thing is is its like, sex is a two way thing, like hypothetically if you were okay with some of the things i want to do its just like not the same if you are just neutral/lukewarm about it and actually turned on and want these things to happen as well. Like thats way hotter and i dont wanna just do the motions of sex while you arent invested or engaged because that's depressing and id rather not do it at all. Which is why ive never mentioned these things. Sometimes i think well we can work on this and other times i worry that we cant change just how we are very different sexually tho, like yes i can teach you how to touch me, i can teach you how to pretend to be into it but deep down I'll just be focused on how its you pretending to be engaged and you aren't actually interested in doing any of this-- it takes me out of it and its just hard to let go and relax, im worried about so many things and sex is only good when you're truly relaxed and trust the other person.

It just sucks. I often get overwhelmed and just want to touch you SO BAD. I just want it so bad and i have to pause and hold back and it just is soooo sexually frustrating!! But at the same time i want to touch you i want to go down on you i want to do all these things because i want to make you feel good and its like if these things cause anxiety and shit and make you uncomfortable then i don't wanna do it. It sucks. I just want to touch you, i want to feel you up, i want to hear you moan-- i just want to please you and make you feel good in these intimate ways... i wish you wanted to touch me and feel me up and hear me moan too tho, i wish you craved these things for me and its like at times i can feel you don't and it does take me out of it. I want you to want to touch me, i want you to fantasize about me like how i do for you but i know you just dont operate that way, its like what do you find hot about me? What turns you on about me? Because i can go on about all my fantasizes and stuff but it just feels weird to share when i dont even know what you think is hot about me.

And tbh the other day when we were talking about sex, i said i enjoyed you grinding on me and you did that after i said that and it made me realize i shouldve specified-- it wasnt just you grinding on me that was so hot-- tbh that time we had sex after i traveled back from Cleveland was the hottest time we've fucked for me and it made me really happy & hopeful, although i was so tired my memory was splotchy so i could even be misremembering what made it the hottest for me. I just remember you being on top of me and being like the most aggressive I'd experienced without me even asking, which was so hot and it made me feel like you weren't just lukewarm but were truly enjoying yourself and we were both into it which was so hot and what i want. I just remember you on top of me being aggressive and i was super into it and like moaning like crazy and quickly asked you to finger me. And as you were fingering me i remember feeling you grinding against my leg while wearing those super hot lacey black underwear-- and now idk if this was sweat or what, but tbh i could feel wetness as you were grinding against me and THAT was why it was so SO hot for me. That was the FIRST and really only time i had evidence that you were turned on and into it and thought i was hot and fucking me was hot and it just felt reassuring that you are into it and arent just doing the motions of sex. I didnt ask you to grind against me. You were just acting and doing what felt right and pleasing yourself rubbing against me and it was so hot.

Usually, i don't really get any evidence that you're turned on. I don't get an auditory moans or sighs. I dont get to feel you being wet, i dont get to feel ur nips being hard or anything. I dont get any signs that you are turned on besides you later telling me you are but i don't get any signs or validation in the moment and that time was so hot because i didnt even have to ask but you were just rubbing urself against me and i could feel you being wet which only turned me on more. Its like i want you to be enjoying yourself too. I dont want it to be one sided. A lot of the part that turns me on is seeing/hearing my partner being arousing and into it and i don't get that from you and its hard to get into it when it just feels like youre helping me masturbate rather then we are fucking... like i want to feel that you are invested, present, and into & engaged--but that one time when werr you being aggressive and rubbing yourself against me i felt for the first and only time that we were both into it and it wasnt just you touching me.

It sucks because i dont want you to feel bad. I understand we are just different and it is what it is. This isn't something that is a big deal that i want to like break up with you. Sex isnt everything and i feel we are compatible in so many ways-- it just is something i wish was different and more satisfying but it is what it is.

Another thing thats hard for me to speak on-- so i do have bottom Dysphoria and i feel very nervous about talking about it and my desires that validate my bottom Dysphoria because im like 99% sure you are zero percent interested in doing any of the things and it would just hurt me to have that confirmed so i just dont even vocalize it. It sucks cuz in the past year ive realized i do have bottom Dysphoria and i shouldnt feel ashamed and embarrassed by it and its something im still working on... but its like I've realized its hard for me to cum and be really turned on when i don't get to express my transexual desires. I think its especially hard because i still feel shy about it. The last person i was with was the first time i had ever been open about my bottom Dysphoria and it taught me a lot about myself. It sucks that i feel pretty confident that these desires that would validate my bottom dysphoria are off the table and would make you uncomfortable. Its hard and im too afraid to even ask and have that confirmed because it would hurt me too much.

But i guess i need to be brave and have this tough conversation and express my desires that I'm holding back just to know if any of them are something you'd be down to do and if not its fine. It probably would just be better for me to know rather then continuously wonder and feel sad about it.

[butterccupp]

1-100 do all those questions u posted a long time ago

1. Is a kiss considered cheating? i think it depends? context is everything2. Have you ever faked orgasm? ,,, yes3. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? invisibility maybe? idk maybe mind reading would be cool4. Do you think you are going to be rich in 7-8-9 years? probably not? i mean hopefully but idk where i will be or what i will be doing5. Tell us some funny drunk story. i have never been drunk yikes6. Why are you no longer together with your ex? just reasons? things weren’t working out7. If you had to choose one way to die, what would it be? SHARK ATTACK8. What are your current goals? idk??? i have a lot but also i don’t really have any9. Do you like someone? u silly10. Who was the last person to disappoint you? myself what’s good :-)11. Do you like your body? very rarely ??? i am v large in many senses and it makes me really self conscious 12. Can you keep a diet? no13. If the whole world listened to you right now, what would you say? probably “uhhhhhhh” bc i’m so indecisive and couldn’t think of one thing14. Do you work? i babysit and watch dogs but i don’t have like, a formal job15. If you could choose only one food to eat to the rest of your life, what would it be? pizza16. Would you get a tattoo? yes there are a few that i want17. Something you don’t mind spending all your money on? tbh most of mine goes to food and gas18. Can you drive? yes i got my license as soon as i possibly could19. When was the last time someone told you you were beautiful? u tell me all the time babe !!20. What was the last thing you cried for? idk i cry multiple times a day over stupid shit probably bc i was just overwhelmed or sad21. Do you keep a journal? i own lots of journals and i would love to keep one but i’m too inconsistent22. Is life fun? life is what u make of it my dude23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant? yes? everybody does it like ???? wtf24. What’s your dream car? a range rover would be nice, but i also want a big jeep wrangler25. Are grades in school important? idk i mean i have a 5.0 gpa so yes??? but also in the grand scheme of things no26. Describe your crush. brown eyes, curly hair, the most STUNNING smile i have ever seen, cute dimples, u27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you? i don’t really remember? i haven’t been interested in a book or movie for a long time rip28. What was your last lie? uhhh last night i told myself i was going to get up and write a speech this morning 29. Dumbest lie you ever told? idk?? i’m not a great liar so nothing too bad30. Is crying in front of people embarrassing? yes but it happens so frequently that i don’t really care anymore31. Something you did and you are proud of? worked my butt off for four years & i’m graduating 2nd in my class32. What’s your favourite cocktail? nothing33. Something you are good at? school34. Do you like small kids? yes my 2 yr old twin cousins are my favorite thing35. How are you feeling right now? tired and overwhelmed. i think frazzled is appropriate 36. What would you name your daughter/son? florence!!!! i lov that name37. What do you need to be happy? minimal stress. u don’t hurt either :’)38. Is there some you want to punch in the face right now? no i’m not a violent person tbh39. What was the last gift you received? a gift from my kindergarten teacher for graduation40. What was the last gift you gave? i bought the new urban decay palette for my mom today for mother’s day41. What was the last concert you went to? julien baker in pittsburgh42. Favourite place to shop at? like for clothes?? i get a lot of them at tj maxx or marshall’s or target or even charlotte russe43. Who inspires you? my mom, my english teacher, u44. How old were you when you first got drunk? ?????45. How old were you when you first got high? also ???????46. How old were you when you first had sex? 1647. When was your first kiss? 13 maybe ?? it was this boy in my neighborhood bc i was starting to get real feelings for girls and i thought if i kissed him it would fix it. clearly that didn’t work48. Something you want to do until the end of this year? date u :)49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadn’t done? i wish i wouldn’t have wasted so much time & energy on ppl that didn’t matter50. Post a selfie. idk how to do that in this on the app ??? i guess i could actually post one after this51. Who are you most comfortable around? u52. Name one thing that terrifies you. not being in control of my life, bugs living inside of me, moving water, disappointing the people i love, not meaning anything to people, idk i’m really scared of a lot of things53. What kind of books do you read? memoirs & biographies & nonfiction in general54. What would you tell your 12 year old self? tell your mom how you’re feeling, get into therapy now and maybe things will be easier down the road55. What is your favourite flower? i really like sunflowers and peonies 56. Any bad habits you have? so many, i gnaw my fingers until they bleed it’s pretty bad 57. What kind of people are you attracted to? people named hannah :)58. What was the last thing you cried for? didn’t i already answer this idk it was probably because i was stressed59. Is there something you don’t eat? Some food that truly disgust you? no i’m usually really open to trying foods 60. Are you in love? yes wow61. Something you find romantic? when u rub ur thumb on my face, it’s v small but makes me feel v happy and safe62. How long was your longest relationship? how long have we been dating idk63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex? high school girls in particular are v caught up in irrelevant things and like to start useless drama64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex? literally everything men just annoy me in general65. What are you saving money for? traveling to london this summer!!66. How would you describe your bad side? i’m very particular and controlling and obsessive and perpetually stressed67. Are you actually a good person? Why? i like to think so68. What are you living for? lots of things69. Have you ever done anything illegal? i mean i’ve probably run a red light once or twice, i’m not a very risky person70. Do you like your body? didn’t i already answer this too?71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally? never, i think that’s a pretty shitty thing to do72. Ever sent nudes? yes73. Have you ever cheated on someone? no74. Favourite candy? sour patch kids 75. Is there a blog you visit every day, or almost every day? Tag it!@tyegerlily :)76. Do you play any computer games? What is your favourite game? no i don’t really play games77. Favourite TV series? the office78. Are you religious? Does God exist? no, yes79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why? uhhhh probably the color purple for my junior AP english assignment, i really liked it yes80. What do you think about vegetarianism/veganism? i wish that it was more feasible for me but i just can’t pull it off currently81. How long have you been on Tumblr? only a few months w this blog but like 5 years in total82. Do you like Chineese food? yes83. McDonalds or Subway? subway84. Vodka or whiskey? neither85. Alcohol or drugs? neither86. Ever been out of your province/state/country? i’ve been out of the state, and i’m going out of the country for the first time this summer87. Meaning behind your blog name? it’s something that u call me :’)88. What are you scared of? i already answered this too wtf89. Last time you were insulted? idk honestly90. Most traumatic experience ? my grandma’s death rlly fucked me up, also my experiences w aforementioned first kiss boy91. Perfect date idea? spending time with u!!!!!92. Favourite app on your phone? sandbox it’s a coloring app and it’s v relaxing93. What colour are the walls in your room? ugly brown wood paneling94. Do you watch Youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber? yeah but most of the time it’s just ted talks or vine compilations95. Share your favourite quote. “we all impact the world around us every day. we have to decide what kind of difference we want to make.” or something like that from jane goodall96. What is the meaning of life? i think it’s to make each other’s lives a bit easier97. Do you like horror movies? no they give me panic attacks98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened? idk she cried when i came out to her and sometimes she cries if i tell her that my mental health isn’t great99. Do you feel lucky or special in a way? yeah i think i’m a pretty lucky person100. Can you keep a secret? yes

[u-are-my-melody]

SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER TAG

tagged by sweet @ taekeyxx , thanks for tagging me ;) not sure who would be interested in my answers tho :D

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 ppl…

THE LAST:

1. Drink: instant cofee w/ milk.

2. Phone call: my BFF (yesterday)

3. Text message: my BFF, asking me to start teaching her English.  

4. Song you listened to: VROMANCE - I fall in Love (extremely relaxing song u can listen before sleep, purifies your subconscious like nothing else)

5. Time you cried: Going through my late uncle’s papers, sketches and stuff, while tidying up at his place after his death (2 weeks ago) . He was an extremely talented wood carver, but never had a courage, confidence or resources to make it into a career. Had a drinking problem, barely got by, lived on a countryside, was too kind for this world, died at the age of 56.

6. Dated someone twice: I have never dated.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nope.

8. Been cheated on: nope, because I have never dated.

9. Lost someone special: pets.

10. Been depressed: depressed is my second name.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope. I don’t drink often. Never with my own money at least. Why would I waste money on pointless alcohol :D I could buy kpop or with it.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: dark red, dark purple, that mix of blue and green whatever it is called

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: I don’t think so...

16. Fallen out of love: I don’t fall in love or crush easily, so no.

17. Laughed until you cried: yup, because of kpop crack videos.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: don’t remember. 

19. Met someone who changed you: This year? nope.

20. Found out who your friends are: No.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t have a Facebook (am I a rare species? :D)

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: no FB.

23. Do you have any pets: A dog. My BFF rescued him from the street in January, he was so sick and near death. I took him in and it was a long and hard journey, but he is fine now. He bullies me into walks every day. 

24. Do you want to change your name: I would still be a mess of a person, just with a different name :D what would be the point.

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I don’t celebrate my own birthdays since 11. 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping and being bit by mosquitoes.

28. Name something you can’t wait for:  Nu’est comeback. Also BTS comeback. Also someone to buy my shit I put on sale/ am going to put on sale.

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: just now.

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I was allowed to focus on 1 thing/path when I was very young, then become good at it and make it my job later. Instead I tried to do everything and am not extremely good at anything. 

31. What are you listening right now: the GazettE - dim scene.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I have no idea. Maybe?

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: parents and people in general.

34. Most visited Website: Youtube.

35. Elementary: finished.

36. High School: finished.

37. College: finished.

38. Haircolor: natural dirty blonde.

39. Long or short hair: it reaches my boobs, so longish I guess?

40. Do you have a crush on someone: I don’t crush easily, so no.

41. What do you like about yourself: nothing at all.

42. Piercings: none.

43. Bloodtype:  I actually have no idea. I avoid hospitals as much as humanly possible.

44. Nickname: None.

45. Relationship status: single as fuck. 

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: documentaries about space?

49. Tattoos: None. Not planing on ever getting any.

50. Right or left: right, but sometimes left :D

51. Surgery: appendix. I was very little and almost died.

52. Piercing: none.

53. Sport: none. A nerd through and through :D

55. Vacation: My parents never believed in vacation, so I never had an opportunity to go on one. It is something other people do, not me.

56. Pair of trainers: some hand-me-downs.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: This question made me hungry and reminded me that I’m supposed to be dieting at the same time :D fml.

58. Drinking: coffee.

59. I’m about to: go heat up some leftover soup.

61. Waiting for: my kpop otps to marry.

62. Want: a job.

63. Get married: probably never.

64. Career: Yes I would like one very much.

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: hugs.

66. Lips or eyes: voice?

67. Shorter or taller: both are fine.

68. Older or younger: both are fine.

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach.

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive.

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship.

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nope.

75. Drank hard liquor: only tried out. I will still need my liver in the future.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I wear glasses all the time, sometimes cannot find them in the morning.

77. Turned someone down: maybe? cannot remember tbh.

78. Sex in the first date: Nooooo.

79. Broken someones heart: lol.

80. Had your heart broken: not really? I would have to love someone for that.

81. Been arrested: dear god no.

82. Cried when someone died: way too many times.

83. Fallen for a friend: Almost.. but no. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: i wish.

85. Miracles: no.

86. Love at first sight: sure, for some people? not me tho.

87. Santa Claus: Why are they still feeding this lie to children. I felt so betrayed by my parents when I found out. 

88. Kiss in the first date: sure, for some people? not me tho.

89. Angels: No.

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Vilma.

91. Eyecolor: some kind of greenish-brownish, I don’t even know. They were blue when I was born tho.

92. Favorite movie: I like fantasy, comedy, Asian and animated movies. Also like horror, but too scared to watch that. Haven’t had the time to watch many in recent years, so: Finding Nemo, Pirates of Caribean, 700 Days of Battle: Us vs. the Police. Tagging all my followers  (yes, porn blogs, you too) If you follow me for some reason.. um.. hi? do this tag, if u want :)