#some things are just so Crazy i have to share but id never post like personal details about the children who im actually working with….

[bastardbvby]

i have no stake in this so respond publicly or don't but isn't it kind of a breach of client confidentiality to be liveposting about your clients this way😭

i feel like i mainly post about the one parent of my client being late to sessions i’ll be honest 😭 like im pretty sure ive never posted anything actually related to the children’s cases which is what i care about the most like idk i just personally didnt view me complaining about this woman sleeping in for hours or showing up late as Too Much since my main focus is always the kids which i never post personal info about but i understand where you’re coming from anon

[evansbby]

an update from me :)

hey everyone, i know i haven’t been very active on here lately. and the reason is because a lot of things in my life have changed. i’ve been debating even sharing this but i feel like i’m in a good enough position to be okay with sharing it.

so these past two years, i had been super active on here (late 2022- early 24) and that was because, well, I didn’t really have anything else. that’s because I had graduated in 2022 and then i just couldn’t find a job in my field. like so many other recent graduates, it was just so hard and tough and it really made me lose all faith in myself.

i found myself to be in the worst mental state i had ever been. I cut myself off from my friends, felt like a burden towards my family, was having meltdowns and panic attacks almost daily, even started eating unhealthily and was just overall in a very bad place.

HOWEVER, i always felt like I could come on tumblr and that’s why i was so active and writing all these stories because honestly, they were almost like a crutch to me. like the ONE thing i had to look forward to in life during those times was the feedback I’d get when i posted a fic, and honestly it’s what kept me going. like i swear to god, on some days this blog and community was the only thing that i had to look forward to and keep me going, and writing felt like such a huge escape.

because i felt so USELESS. like i was wasting my life and not making any money or being able to kickstart my career after uni, and that it would be like this forever, so when I was writing it actually felt like I was doing something with a purpose. honestly on some days I would literally wake up early and go sit in Starbucks all day just writing my fics like i was cosplaying working or something just so I’d have a purpose. (I don’t go to Starbucks anymore lol boycott)

anyways, i never shared this on tumblr these past few years bc you guys don’t understand what a failure i felt like. i would sometimes get asks on here asking what i did for a job and I’d feel so embarrassed of my current state of being unable to find a job when it felt like everyone else who had graduated with me had one and obtained one so easily. like i felt ASHAMED.

i remember once i got an ask asking what my job was and I just said “fashion marketing” bc that was one of the things i wanted to do and id done an internship in that field so i just put that but it was a LIE i was unemployed and the most depressed ive been in my whole life but I thought maybe i could manifest it.

ANYWAYS, and you’ve probably already guessed it, but the reason I’m not so active anymore is because I did eventually find a job. a really good one that I’m enjoying so much and I’m so happy at. Finally, I’m feeling like myself again, like I’m living that life in London as a twenty something that I’d see everyone on tiktok living!! Like I’m finally just having fun, going out with friends, being active, having money to spend on fun things etc.

and it feels so surreal and crazy because when i was depressed and jobless, it made me doubt myself so much. Like the constant rejections and failed interviews made me doubt myself and lowered my self esteem so much and I thought I’d NEVER achieve this life that i have now! And I don’t want to jinx it but I literally thank God every day for finally granting me this because I really feel like I would’ve gotten worse and worse and IDEK.

But back to the main point, and so because of my new job I just don’t have that much time for tumblr anymore. But this isn’t a goodbye post… not at all! I find that when I’m super busy in life is also when I get the most motivated to write! Like for example in summer 2022 I was on here so much and that was the summer I had the most fun, was the most busy. I think when I’m busy in life, I get motivated to write.

Which I believe is the case right now, because I’m SO motivated to complete all my stories, I keep thinking about them and writing them slowly, so please don’t think anything is abandoned! I just wanted to make this post to be more transparent about what’s been going on in my life and what had been going on these past two years. That maybe someone else going through something similar can see that eventually, everything does work out.

Anddd I don’t really know how to end this. I just want to say, yall don’t understand just how thankful I am for having this blog, this platform, to write my stories. For having you guys. Because who knows how much worse my mental state would’ve been these past two years when I didn’t have ANYTHING else going for me, if I hadn’t had this blog it would’ve been so much worse.

Thank you so much for believing in me and enjoying my stories and always always letting me know how much you enjoy them. And I’ll say the truth; I know everyone says that engagement on tumblr has been bad lately but I can say that bc of you guys I have literally never EVER had this issue. And that’s not me being big headed, that’s just the truth and it makes me so happy and grateful. Yall always came through for me and still do now! Every time I think my fic is going to flop, you guys come through for me. I appreciate it so much. You guys have no idea how much you helped me when I was at my lowest. And continue to.

Many thanks

Me 🩷🩷🫶🏼🫶🏼

[psychhound]

ttrpgs in the classroom (part 8)

oh boy have i not made one of these posts in ,,, like a year. grad school is crazy yall. lmao. but. i wanted to share what we do for our analysis unit now that we've hit it this semester!!

other games used in the unit:

we are but worms & graves for funerals

the assignment:

write an essay of approximately 1000 words doing a literary analysis of some aspect of a game, first forming an inquiry question, then looking in the text for evidence, then coming up with an argument about a deeper meaning of the text. the second draft of the assignment can either be an expanded essay, or a multimodal piece of the student's choosing. (the other option for this essay is to do a rhetorical analysis of an argumentative text about gaming)

the games:

[ID: a powerpoint slide titled choose your fighter game (the word fighter is crossed out, so it reads choose your game). it shows five ttrpg titles, with a short description of each, and an icon to represent them. the background is a light orange sky and green grass in a video game like art style. there is a fake game menu bar on the bottom. the games in the slide are functionally described below. end ID]

when we made war upon the slumbering woods by richard kelly @sprintingowl

a collaborate journey into the magical woods ... to destroy it

the treasure at the end of this dungeon is an escape from this dungeon and we will never escape from this dungeon by riverhouse games @riverhousegames

a lyric game about a never-ending dungeon and those stuck there

kenzie's project by sasha winter @stargazersasha

a Weird Academia horror game for three players

i love you, alive girl by anna anthropy

a 1-page game about writing love letters under surveillance

drifters by gila rpgs

a Weird West game of gunslingers and their guns

past semesters game options:

a dragon game by chris bissette cozy town by rae nedjadi @temporalhiccup

the process:

in the powerpoint introducing the games, i have a more thorough description of each one, and then three examples of inquiry questions that they could use as jumping off points to do their analysis on. the inquiry questions ask things like, what moral stance might this game align itself with, what other stories is this game in dialogue with and to what effect, what does this game have to say about the current state of our society? the students can use these inquiry questions or not, theyre only meant to be examples

the results:

this is definitely the most challenging project for my students, but i think that challenge is good for them! i've had really mixed results, with the most common issue i run into just being surface level analysis. they are, however, 18 and have never done anything like this before (for the vast majority of my students) so a lot of my feedback is just pushing them further and trying to get them to say something interesting. i really love a dragon game and cozy town, but i found they didnt have enough context of ttrpgs and dnd/pf to really Get why a dragon game was interesting, so i replaced it with escape from this dungeon since thats got some more meat for them like voicey rules and characters. and im a big fan of nedjadi's games and wanted to give my students something more cute and fun, but they struggled to find much to read into or say about it that wasnt very surface level. escape from this dungeon and ilu, alive girl are new games this semester so we will see how those go over!!

[forever-once-gone]

Day 3: Yoongi - You Meet Your Fated at a Coffee Shop <3

Part of the Love, Amour, Aur Pyaar drabble series for February! (lol)

Word count: 3.7k (can't keep them short for the life of me)

Content and Warnings: soulmate au, coffee shop au, gn!reader, sharing preferences, arguing, frustration, they're both a bit dense lol, but other than that nothing too terrible in this, just sweet honestly, almost throwing up, coffee snob!Yoongi, barista!Yoongi, mocha slander, terms of endearment: baby, dear, Y/n is ready to FIGHT

Author's Note: Hey! So like I know it is well past Feb, but tbh it was crazy of me to even think id have time to publish these things during midterms season. Even though I had reading week, it was just not going to happen. Even though I did manage to write some of the days, I obviously couldn't every day. And posting? Forget about it. Anyway, even if it's past Feb, would you want me to post the ones I did write? It won't be instantaneous, but I would like to share what I did write, and maybe even finish all the other days as I had already planned out what I wanted to write each day. Let me know if you're interested! Anyways, as always, enjoy! <3

Another mocha, just another mocha to fill up in the takeaway cup for another person who is trying to get through the February cold. Yoongi gets a lot of mocha requests before the winter holidays season. When so many are hyped up with Christmas cheer. Even people who do not celebrate Christmas tend to indulge in peppermint mochas when the snow hits the ground. And the trend trickled into the post holiday months every winter season. To the point when people ordered mochas even into early spring.

Yoongi, ever the coffee enthusiast, hated having to make so many mochas.

Frankly, he considered mochas just snobby chocolate milk with the smallest hint of caffeine. Like do mochas even deserve to be considered coffee-based beverages? He thought not. You could barely even taste the coffee in between the thick, tongue-coating taste of chocolate and the heaviness of way too much milk.

Everytime he had to make mochas, every single time, he’d be cursing in his head about how he would rather just be able to make his espressos, black coffees, and iced americanos. Iced americanos are the most he’d be willing to go when it comes to diffusing the taste of coffee.

Adding milk? Forget it.

Adding sugar? He’d rather just pour it down the drain than drink it.

Alas, when it comes to his job, he has to fulfill the customer’s wishes. No matter how much he hated the sugary, barely-even-coffee, more-like-milkshakes drinks, he would make the drink for them. A waste of good coffee in his books, but he needed the money that came from his overpriced caffeinated chocolate milk 

So, when it came to a coffee-novice coming into his coffee shop asking for a mocha, he would grit his teeth but make the drink nonetheless, the underline he requires to be able to pay his shop’s mortgage and keep all of his employees.

It was another one of these spring days when he’d unlocked the front doors of the café only to see someone new. Normally, only a few select people would come to his café so early in the morning, after all, most people started work at 9 or later. Only a few people would come at 5:30 when he opened. But today, there was someone new.

There was you, a person he’d never seen before standing behind his regulars. A cheery looking person, giving him a smile when he unlocked the door and opened it for the small group of people to trickle in.

He made his way behind the counter as he began his small routine with his regulars, smiling at each one of them as they gave him their orders, even though there really was no need as he had gotten each one of them memorized ages ago.

He took and prepared each order with practiced ease, until he got to the last person in line. The one who had spent the last ten minutes scanning the chalkboard menu with an analytical look.

You.

“Good morning,” you said to him with a kind smile.

“Good morning,” he replied. “What can I get started for you today?”

You wrung your hands, scanning the menu again, before looking back at him. “Can I get a large mocha?”

He scoffed. Seriously, chocolate this early in the morning? Typical from a cheery-looking person like yourself.

“What?” you asked, wondering if you’d broken some unspoken social cue. You’d seen the way he’d kindly spoken to the customers before you, making small talk, so what happened when it came to you?

“Nothing, nothing,” he waved you off, before pressing some buttons on his cash register’s screen. “That’ll be 5000 won.”

“No, no. That definitely was something. Did I say anything wrong?” You insisted, brows furrowed together in a mix of worry and a bit of indignation.

“No, not at all. It’ll be 5000 won.” He tried to force a smile, but your eyes were squinted together just as you did before when you were scanning the menu, but this time your object of interest was him.

“What? You just don’t like me or something?” You felt a bit uncomfortable, out of place in this cafe with a barista who seemed to hold a certain disdain for you from the moment you opened your mouth. But that didn’t mean you were going to back down from this entitled man. You eyed him up and down, letting him know the contempt was mutual.

He let out a small scoff, before seeming to recompose himself with customer service professionalism. “Of course not. I’m sorry if it seemed that way. Your total is 5000 won.”

You could see through his poorly reconstructed composure, but nonetheless gave him the requested money. You were already running late to your job interview, and you needed this job if you hoped to actually be able to rent a place in this city. You had already spent three weeks staying with your friend after moving here from your old city. You couldn’t stay with her forever, even if she was willing to keep you for forever if you needed it.

You stepped away from the register after he had given you your change and moved away to make your drink. You took the time to continue admiring the interior of the cafe as the barista flew around his counter space. You took in the worn furniture resembling something half between industrial and contemporary. The hanging lights and the various maps lining the walls of the place. Very hipster. Fitting for a coffee shop.

The call of: “One large mocha?” brought you back from your inspection. With a hum, you took your drink from him, feeling the drink warm your gloved hands.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, have a nice day.” And with that he was moving back to his dishes to clean up the dishes he’d used before the next customers wandered in.

You turned away from him, moving towards the door. Before you pushed open the door to brave into the cold, you flipped open the flap on the top of the to-go cup. You took a quick sip, ready for the delicious drink to coat your tongue, but instead your tastebuds were assaulted with a heinous amount of sugar. It tasted like you’d boiled a pool full of chocolate and dumped a truck full of sugar and then reduced the entire pool full over a roaring fire until only a cup of the concentrated mixture remained full of pure chocolate and sugar.

You immediately turned back on your heel. Pressing your tongue against the tip of your mouth, trying to rid it of the sweet assault. “You messed up,” you slammed the cup on the counter, seeing the barista’s shoulders jump at the loud thump.

“What’s the issue?” he asked, as he wiped off his hands on a hand towel before flipping it onto his shoulder. He leaned onto the counter with the palms of his hands, not even trying to hide his annoyance with you anymore considering the frown he sent your way.

“This is way too sweet. Like what, did you dump a whole bag of sugar into this thing?” You nudged the cup towards him. “If you didn’t like me, you could have just refused to take my order, you didn’t have to do all this!” You gestured to the cup.

“Please, I need you to calm down. I didn’t do anything to your drink. It’s just a regular mocha. Mochas are sweet, you should have known that before you ordered it for the first time.” He rolled his eyes slightly.

“First time? Oh, honey, no—I know what mochas are meant to taste like and this is not it. It’s practically the only thing I ever get!”

He scoffed yet again. Typical, he thought to himself. Never would've guessed. “Just take your drink and go, I don’t have time for this.”

“You don’t believe me do you?” You said in disbelief. You never would dare fight with someone like this, but for some reason, this one guy was just getting on your nerves. Typically, even if your order had gotten mixed up you would just swallow your disappointment and try to enjoy the drink anyway. Even if it was something bitter and boring like a plain black coffee. But the way this man had been acting from the moment you ordered has been rude and completely ruined your confidence. Not what you needed at all before trying to get this job. And for some reason, it felt like all your senses and emotions had been turned up to 100, so controlling your anger was a lot harder.

“Drink it,” you told him, holding his eye contact. “Yeah, drink it. If you can drink even one gulp without making a face, I’ll admit I was wrong and leave.”

The barista tongued his cheek for a moment, contemplating what you said. “I don’t want to. I don’t like mochas, besides, I can’t drink a customer’s drink anyway.”

“I’m just gonna take your refusal as you admitting that you fucked with my drink.”

By this point the two people left in the shop were watching the two of you fighting at the counter. A middle aged man walked up to the counter, stepping in to try and defuse the situation. “Why don't you just take a sip of it, Yoongi? Just to prove them wrong?”

“I refuse,” the barista, Yoongi, said to the man. “It’s a matter of principle at this point. I’m not drinking it. I know my abilities, and I know that that mocha would be as good as mochas get. I’m not gonna take a sip of a nasty ass mocha just cause this person wants to throw a fuss at five in the morning.”

“So you admit you fucked with it?! You admitted it’s nasty!”

“No,” he rolled his eyes at you for the umpteenth time this morning. “I just hate mochas, they taste like shit. But anyone who likes those chocolatey messes will admit mine are as good as they get. I might not like them, but I still put all my effort into making sure they taste good.”

“Just fucking drink it then! I’m not joking, this tastes like shit. Maybe something is wrong with your milk steaming machine or something—this just isn’t right!”

The middle-aged man decided to try and put the fight to an end. “Why don’t I just give it a try, huh?”

“No!” But Yoongi and you said at the same time, before turning back to each other again.

“He refuses to admit it, and he has to be the one to try it!” You crossed your arms.

“And they’re the one who is making a big situation over nothing, you should never give in to people like them.” He glared at you. Now that his patrons were getting involved, he wanted to get you out as soon as possible.

“Just try it! I swear it’s unbelievable. Just give it one sip!” You threw up your arms in frustration. “Come on, I’m not even asking for a refund or anything, I just want you to admit that you took your anger out on me for no reason. That’s all, I don’t even want an apology!”

“I don’t need to apologize! I didn’t do anything wrong! That mocha is PERFECT! I’d bet my life on it.” Yoongi was fuming now, chest heaving with frustration and annoyance. He was this close to calling the cops on you and calling it a day.

“Oh shut up with the ‘perfect’ nonsense! It’s not perfect! Just try it! This whole thing would have been over ages ago if you just gave it a try!” You pulled the cap off of the cup. “If you’re afraid it’s poisoned, I’ll take a sip of it before you drink it. See look.” 

You took a swig of the drink, nearly choking on the sugary beverage as you tried to keep the concoction from coming right back up. You gagged for a second or two, before finally straightening back up, wiping your mouth with the back of your gloved hand.

The two men around you exchanged expressions, their anger turning more to disbelief. Either you were a great actor or that drink really, really sucked.

“There, see. I didn’t tamper with it. Now, please, please just try it. Please. Don’t make me look insane. Just try it.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Fine. Fucking fine. I’ll try it. But if it tastes fine, you need to leave my shop and never come back, you hear me?”

“I swear. I won’t come back, don’t plan to anyway.”

Yoongi raised an eyebrow at that, before grabbing the lidless cup from the counter. He held it up, hesitated, and then said, “I really don’t like mochas,” with a scrunch of his nose. He took a breath and then took the smallest sip you’ve ever seen a human being take before slamming the cup down. His hand immediately came up to cover his mouth, his eyebrows furrowed.

You couldn’t bear to hide your smug look. How was he gonna hide how terrible the drink was now? He looked like he was going to throw up. Ha! That will show him!

But then he did the weirdest thing. He took another sip. A long sip this time. Other than his furrowed brows, he didn’t choke, gag, or even dry heave for a millisecond. Just watching him drink was making you nauseous.

“Oh my god!” you yelled, snatching the cup from his hands before he could take another sip, holding it up behind you, away from him. “You’re going to give yourself diabetes if you drink that whole thing!”

Immediately he tried to reach across the counter and get it back from you. “Hey! Give that back! This makes no sense!”

“Yoongi, calm down!” The man said, pushing the barista back off of the counter that he was practically leaning his whole body onto at this point.

“Why does it taste good?!” The distress that the barista was under put even you on pause. You watched the barista scramble around, rubbing at his head as if it was aching him. Was this the effect of all the sugar?

“Hey, man, you doing alright?” You placed the cup back down on the counter, holding a hand out to him to show you meant no harm.

He just shook his head, picking up a half empty mug from behind the counter that you had seen him periodically sipping from between the preparation of yours and the others’ drinks. He took a large gulp only to immediately run to the sink, spitting the drink right into the drain.

“Why does my coffee taste so heinous?! Why does it taste like fucking bitter gasoline? Why does the mocha taste so fucking good?!” He was still hunched over the sink, the only thing you could see of him was his back a bit of his lowered head. His arm reached to grab the hand towel on his shoulder to throw it to the side.

You had no answer for him. This was all so bizarre.

“This—” the middle aged man brought both your and Yoongi’s attention to him, as he brought the cup back to his lips for another sip. When had he taken your mocha from you? Was it when Yoongi was losing his mind? 

“This tastes…” He took another sip. His brows furrowed in concentration. 

“This tastes like a regular mocha.” He put the cup back down. “I think you guys need to calm down for a moment and think about what this means.”

“What do you mean?” you asked him.

“I think you know what I mean, dear.” The man had a kind-hearted look on his face as his eyes flitted between both you and Yoongi.

“OH MY GOD.” Yoongi grabbed the edge of the counter, seeming to understand the man’s insinuation. “There is no way.”

“What? What am I missing?” The man only shook his head as Yoongi raised his head to meet your gaze. He just pushed his half empty mug to you. Inside was black coffee.

“Try it. I need to see if it’s true.”

“Um, no. I don’t like black coffee. Yuck.” You nudged the mug right back to him only for him to stop the movement halfway. 

“That’s exactly why you have to try this,” Yoongi said as calmly as he could, though you could swear he looked almost like he could faint right then and there.

“Fine,” you took the mug from him. “Just cause you did drink the mocha.”

You swirled the dark liquid in the mug, debating whether it was worth it to drink the bitter liquid. But when you looked up to see that both the man and Yoongi were watching you like scientists inspecting their latest mutant rats for their observational notes, you just took a sip only to get them to stop staring at you.

Instantly your throat was soothed as the smooth taste of the perfectly roasted coffee made its way through your mouth. You’d never drunk anything so refreshing, so calming as it warmed you up from the inside out. Even though there was no sugar or cream, you surprisingly didn’t mind it as it allowed the rich flavour of the black coffee to shine through strongly. It tasted so good.

You didn’t put down the mug until you’d finished the whole thing.

The middle aged man had a small smile on his face, while Yoongi seemed to be still in his inspector mode.

“So,” the man began. “How was it?”

You thought about it for a second. “Good. Like really good. Like surprisingly good.”

The man clapped his hands. “Well there you have it. Congrats you two.”

You shook your head for a second, scrunching your face in annoyance. “What are you talking about?”

Yoongi came around the counter, finally coming to stand beside you without anything between you two. “Do I need to spell it out for you?”

“Easy, Yoongi. Don’t want to scare them off now do you?”

Yoongi rolled his eyes at the man but then nodded his head in understanding. “You don’t like black coffee right? Too bitter or something?”

You nodded. “Yeah, too bitter. I need more sugar or else I just can’t get it down.”

“And I hate mochas. They’re too sweet and you can’t even tell there is coffee in it since it's so overpowered by the sugar, chocolate, and milk.”

“Okay… What does that have to do with me though?”

“But I just liked the mocha. Not just liked, I loved the mocha. And you loved the black coffee.”

“Yeah…” You waited for him to clarify further.

He waved his arm as if urging you to think further, but when you just cocked your head to the side in confusion, he dropped his arm back down to his side. “Seriously?” he asked, exasperated. “I hated my usual coffee and loved your mocha. And you hated your usual mocha and loved my coffee.”

You nodded your head, trying to understand what he was trying to get at. Until it just clicked, your eyes widening instantly, reaching to grab his elbows. “OH MY GOD! We’re soulmates! Oh my god! We switched preferences! We’re soulmates!” You threw your arms around him, pulling him as close to you as you could through your thick winter jacket.

“Took you long enough,” he huffed, his arms reciprocating your grasp.

“Oh my god! I knew I was meant to move here! I have to tell my roommate! But wait—” you pushed him out of your hold.

Yoongi let out a light groan, as he caught himself from stumbling.

You pointed a finger at him accusingly. “You hate mochas, you black coffee supremacist!”

“Seriously?” Yoongi asked you. “That’s your biggest concern now?”

“Well yeah! I mean, I don’t know if my preferences will change back, but if they do, I can’t stay with a soulmate that thinks he’s superior to me because of his coffee preferences!”

Yoongi let out a small laugh, his lips tugging into a smile. “If it makes you feel any better, I think I will never be able to hate mochas after today.”

Even with your finger still pointed at him, you felt your lips pull into a wide smile at the hidden meaning behind his words.

You both jumped at the clearing of a throat behind the two of you. The man had made his way to the front door of the coffee shop with his order in his hand. “Sorry, sorry. Just wanted to let you know that my wife, Maria, had been recording the entire thing in case you needed to call the police.” He nodded towards the other patron who had been at the shop when you and Yoongi had started fighting who was now standing holding the door open as she waited for her husband. “Let me know if you want the video of your first meeting, I’m sure your friends and family would love to see it,” he said between kind-hearted soft laughs, before leaving hand-in-hand with Maria.

“Maybe even our future grandkids,” you teased him happily, taking a step back towards him.

Yoongi just smiled in reply, showing off his perfect teeth to you.

You felt your heart swell.

He took another step towards you, grabbing a hold of your hands by your side. “I would like that.”

You heard the door chime as a customer walked into the coffee shop before their steps halted somewhere behind you.

“Uh, is this a bad time?” The customer asked from behind you.

“Give me a second,” Yoongi replied.

“Alright,” the person cleared their throat. “Just don’t want to be late for work.”

That seemed to jolt you out of your Yoongi admiring stupor. “Shit! I have an interview!” You tightened your hold on his hands before letting go.

By the time Yoongi realized what was going on, you were already halfway out the door.

“I’m going to be so late! I’ll be back later, okay, baby?” You had pushed the door open taking a step out before turning back to him. “I am allowed to come back right? Or am I still exiled from your shop?” You asked with a smile.

“Seriously?” He laughed, shaking his head as he made his way back behind the service counter. “Maybe you’ll just have to try your luck.”

“You’re impossible.” You laughed into your hand, waving your hand at him. “When I come back, if you don’t let me in, I’ll tell all your customers that I almost threw up after drinking your mocha.” You stuck out your tongue at him as he fake gasped, before finally actually leaving the shop.

Well, there's that.

So if you didn't get it, in this case, soulmates have different ways of finding out if they're meant to be in this universe. For Yoongi and Y/n, they met and ended up switching coffee preferences (or maybe even more preferences but the only thing they noticed so far is the coffee). Even though their reactions may seem extra, when you meet your soulmate all your emotions/feelings/everything is meant to be heightened. So they had each other's preferences, but n times stronger. So that's why they loved the other's preference like it was ambrosia, but their own preferences tasted like so bad to them. Y/n found the mocha wayyyy to sweet like Yoongi would usually, and Yoongi found the black coffee wayyyyy too bitter cause Y/n likes her coffee well sweetened and with a lot of stuff to mellow the coffee flavour.

But anyway, yes they're in love.

So yeah, do let me know if you want me to post the rest of these. It will be a slow process, but I would like to do so.

Take care!!

[spitinsideme]

I had a blog about boobs randomly popping up in my feed. Literally every single one of their posts had something to do with tits and it wasnt even in a sexual way. Anyway, I came across this chart there and thought id share it with you

According to the chart, tits is on the aggressive side, breasts is on the formal, boobs is on the funny...understandable I guess, I can see that yeah. But also some of the terms there are totally new for me..."babylons" for example just sounds so chaotic. I'd be so confused if someone used that in a conversation

But also...top-bollocks?? Never in my life have I heard a non-british person say "bollocks" so I must assume this is a British thing right? It sounds SO WEIRD THOUGH!! Is "top-bollocks" a term people actually have in their vocabulary or?? Have you ever even heard someone use that before? I'm unironically intrigued...

NEVER in my life have i hward anyone say top bollocks i am so sure if someone here referedd to tits as top bollocks theyd be killed ln the spot thwyd be pointed and laughed at that isa ctually crazy ...bollocks means like balls or something crazy/weird like thats totoally bollocks !!! but TITS ??? ABSOLUTELY NOT ... ive beard people call asses "bundas" but like a djfferent word for tjts ??? never heard befire .. this is neas tl ne .. i doubt amyone normal calls tits top bollocks ...

[burins]

2024 WRITING REVIEW

tagged by @vechter !! thank you so much for the tag i will try not to be tremendously maudlin in response! idk if @timetoboldlygo @rolameny or @try-set-me-on-fire did a fic year in review already. Also if you see this and would like to do it genuinely consider yourself tagged I would love to see your thoughts!

number of stories posted to ao3: 7! although two of those and almost all of another were written in 2023. let's say 4.75.

word counted posted for last year: 27k (minus 8k for estate and 3k for unsent letters, so 16k. Which is frankly, a miracle)

fandoms i wrote for: fatt, dc comics, hxh

pairings: superbat, leopika, dinahbabs, alyarr. I also wrote a relatively high proportion of gen fic this year! 

stories with the most kudos, bookmarks and comment threads: everybody loved how cleanly, how quietly (the tim has friends actually manifesto) which is good because i also love how cleanly, how quietly. 

work i’m most proud of (and why): literally anything i got out this year was the product of blood sweat and tears for reasons i will get into later! I’m probably most proud of the silliest fic i published, my love sits patiently, the leopika chair fetish fic. this sprang out of a joke with some friends and rapidly became ungovernable. I’m always nervous writing for a new fandom about whether i have a good handle on the characters, but the entire process of writing this was just me sitting at the keyboard going teeheehee what if! and then putting that into the fic. I think the comedy hits and the prose is good and i managed not to make it too sad (always a danger) while still keeping the leopika sauce in there!

work i’m least proud of (and why): genuinely i don’t publish things I’m not proud of! the really id shit languishes either in my brain, my dms, or in my notes app. so I’m going to cheat by saying a fic i wrote in 2023 but only put up on ao3 in april. it’s estate, not because i don’t think it’s good-- i think it’s really good!! I gave myself a hell of a challenge in writing it (“oh i want to write a shirley jackson pastiche, from the POV of a character I’ve never written before, and also he is a child” <- words spoken by a fool, and a dingus. No one made me do this!) and I think I mostly succeeded. But because it was for a zine I had a strict word count limit, which meant i had to trim down the prose a fair amount and I think it did lose some of its effectiveness in that process. Someday maybe i’ll go through my gdocs and try to resurrect some of the bits I tightened farther than they should have gone. 

share or describe a favorite review you received: i got a lot of really, really thoughtful and lovely comments this year! I feel immensely lucky every time i write something and people like it enough to tell me so. Especially because writing was such a thorny thing for me it was deeply helpful to have people in my inbox going hey, i loved this. sometimes they did literary analysis! incredible shit!!! there are too many to have a particular favorite but someone just told me that they read to the morning come, the post-utrh superbat, a week into their DC comics journey. Which is crazy because that fic obliquely references the time the Joker was the Iranian ambassador, perhaps one of the stupidest storylines in comics. (In hindsight I could probably have come up with a different reason why Clark doesn't let Bruce kill the Joker.) I hope this person has a great time, and also I’m very sorry. 

a time when writing was really, really hard: ha. well. I don’t think this is what the question was intended to get at but for 90% of the year it was physically painful for me to write! my nerve pain came roaring back in december of 2023 and I spent months and months only able to pick at stuff a couple dozen words at a time on my phone, or trying to do bits in voice to text via a truly wild phone to computer situation, or just full of ideas rattling about that I couldn’t do very much with. I try to let it be what it is but it has been a fucking rough year and many many times it made me want to bite. I have ups and downs and I’ll probably keep having ups and downs! i hope this isn’t forever because i really miss getting to lose myself in prose. but at the end of the day we are all just working within the limits of the form and sometimes that has to be more literal than i’d like.  

a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: i was originally writing my love sits patiently leaning more heavily on the jokes. But i realized that it is much funnier and also much sweeter if leorio genuinely gives himself a chair thing because he is so horny and emotional about kurapika, so then i had to write them having sex where the chair was integral while not, myself, being into furniture in that way. (i respect our kink warriors it just isn’t For Me!) 

a favourite excerpt of your writing: i’m so pleased with all of the prose in unsent letters from the end of the world, yet another alyarr epistolary fic, but i’m particularly fond of the conclusion. I rattled around a little trying to figure out how alyosha’s voice should sound in these letters after everything he’s gone through. I was thinking a little bit of Leonard Cohen’s final letter to Marianne Ihlen-- there’s a particular certainty that comes with age, and I wanted to allow alyosha some bitterness while still acknowledging that of the various tragedies he’s witnessed, everything with arrell is probably not the top of the list. And also i wanted to stay true to the ending tone of spring in hieron, which is a story about the end of the world and the lives we make for ourselves anyway. 

What I mean to say, in a rather roundabout way for which you are no longer around to chide me, is that I write you to tell myself a story, to determine my own thoughts by writing them down. To make a story, step by meandering step. I did not begin at the beginning, and I have not ended at the end, but I have, I think, come to the conclusion anyway. I loved a false god, and I will never know what, if anything, He loved. And I loved you, Tutor, and you loved me, and it was not enough. But I also loved the world. I loved it enough to change it. I thought there should be something instead of nothing, and I made it so. I hope I was not wrong to do so. From my window I can see children playing, swinging from branch to branch. I do not think I was.

how did you grow as a writer last year: i would like to say that i learned to accept my own limitations and celebrated my victories (getting a fic out for multiple events, getting to a place where I could write almost all of my love sits patiently by sitting down at a keyboard!!!) but that is a Work In Progress. 

how do you hope to grow this year: i really do not want to jinx anything so i will just say i would like to be able to write sustainably, whatever that means for me this year. I suspect it will mean a variety of different things because what counts as sustainable changes from day to day! 

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): really truly cannot say enough kind things about @suedeuxnim beloved friend beta cheerleader etc. thank you for cheering me on in my dms and keeping me supplied with cat pictures. also, separately, my wonderful spouse. this is a tumblr post, not the oscar acceptance speech, and i suspect they would find it embarrassing if i went on a lot but it makes every aspect of life easier to have a partner in crime. 

anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: funnily enough the chronic pain duo fics were actually written BEFORE the big chronic pain resurgence, and also they’re from 2023. (this has actually happened to me twice, and while i’m not going to stop writing about chronic pain it does feel like maybe i am a little bit cursed.) I wrote two fics about bruce’s parenting choices and their effects on his kids and I think you can do the math! No one gets deeply into batman comics because they’re normal about fathers. Oh, in more fun things, Tim’s calendar from how cleanly, how quietly is based on the very real Daikonic Moments calendar from Omega Mart, which was our 2024 calendar. If anyone has suggestions for a 2025 calendar lmk because we got one for Christmas but it’s all bad mullets and we are not hanging it up.  

any new wisdom you can share with other writers: i spent a non-zero amount of this year feeling bummed that i couldn’t write as much as I wanted, both because writing is one of my main hobbies and also because despite my cool and untouchable image (citation needed) it is hard not to compare myself to others who are able to write much, much, much more than me! But that is silly because I am me and they are them. There have been times in my life when i was the demon of productivity and times in my life when i wrote nothing publishable all year. So my wisdom (still working on the implementation part!!!) is to celebrate what you are able to do and not what you don’t manage. And also, write for yourself and your circle of freaks and you can’t go wrong. 

any projects you’re looking to starting (or finishing) this year: anything i can finish is a win! I have a lot of projects in the hopper from almost two years ago; who knows what will happen. I did sign up for secret samol so there will be a fatt fic forthcoming, and I also signed up for another secret project (no longer secret! I'm gonna be in the Bruce Wayne pinup zine) so there’ll be something else probably in early summer. I would love to finish my jaydick injury fic. i have a second chapter of dinahbabs handler sex, but that one involves a lot of disability feelings and i’ve been putting it off because i want to do it justice. maybe superbat amnesia will happen at some point but that’s so long (and has a Real Plot) so the likelihood is slim. I have a LOT of ideas about how leopika can have sex mistakes I’d love to turn into fics but also they’re just fun to rotate. we’ll see!

[daryltwdixon]

Hihi! I’m here with some writer’s asks (sorry if it’s a lot 😅)

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Thank you sm for the love 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

when I was part of the 1d fandom in 2012ish I wrote a tonnnn of fanfiction on my blog 😅 I had no business writing and reading so much filth

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

oy vey. Honestly, id give it like a 6, it’s not terrible but rereading the same thing over and over again will make me crazy after awhile LMAO I do like it cause I’ll write a pretty basic outline of a scene out then go in and fill in where I can to add layers and texture!!

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@chockholdsillegal not saying we’d be great at covering our tracks but this my homie right here (and your job might help us be able to get rid of evidence in a way other people don’t have access to 🤔)

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

forever and always will rec @heathermason6060 like holy shit their Matchmaker Merle pt 1??? Serial killer rick and daryl??? 🧑‍🍳💋

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

@weirdoneattheparty your internet sleuthing is incredible and more people need to appreciate the work it takes for the shit you are able to dig up

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

I like reader inserts ! Writing them and reading them personally! Like partially yes I am the character but also they are their own character at the same time w a totally different lore than me and putting myself in their shoes is just as fun. Like would I make all the decisions fmc would? No but im not about to complain about a character acting morally gray or making bad decisions cause if they didn’t there would literally be no plot lmao

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

speaking of lore hmm you want like normal? I own my own pet sitting business on the east coast in the US :) I’m also a surrogate baby and have a bunch of half sibs that I’m close with now as an adult!

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

slide into them DMs and let’s be friends OR if you reblog good stories or write interesting stuff! I also follow people who regularly comment on my writing cause I love you sm

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

here’s a screenshot of something I saved for Heart of Us inspo! I have a long note of drabbles of dialogue / scene ideas and screenshots of things I find so this one was from tik tok

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

god as cliche as it is I love a good and juicy love triangle. I also love when reader/fmc is able to handle herself and is tough as nails. I mean I’m literally writing the fanfic I want to see so idk what else but also I love @heathermason6060 because she writes an amazingly desperate and needy daryl so whenever I need a hit of that to my system I go to her ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

honestly I love any and all comments when they’re kind! But esp when someone is like “holy shit” lmao or even just a really nice “can’t stop reading this” or “so glad I found this” I’m telling you comments make my day and make me want to keep writing!! I love any and all!! ❤️

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

ooof… well I’m gonna go with a character I hate at this exact moment in my rewatch which is Eugene. Let me complain then I’ll say something nice. EUGENE YOU WERE SO EASY TO MAKE THE FLIP TO NEGAN YOU ASSHOLE WTF. Ok nice things he’s v smart for someone who was a liar / fraud he still knows how to do SO MUCH !!! He also was v kind when he told negan’s wives he knew they were there not of their own volition and didn’t want to take advantage of them. I also understand why he flipped to negan so readily because they treated him so freaking well and he was always being ridiculed and told he wasn’t enough back w his old group!

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

Other than the obvious in watching the show, god I love music. Whenever I hear a good lyric I’m like oh shit I need to base an entire story around that or the feeling music will give I’m like this is how daryl would feel or fmc would feel when this and that happen!! Poetry is also a huge one, as seen above with my recent screenshot to my notes.

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

when I’ve been on tumblr before I knew short and sweet is usually best, and the fact twd fit so well into Daryl Dixon I said let’s try this lmao and it worked!! So now I am Daryl the walking Dixon lmao

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

this goes for books/novels as well. You need to show me how a character is feeling, show me the scenery, the atmosphere instead of TELLING me. My favorite example of this comes from Harry Potter which does way better to explain than I could writing out everything:

Instead of “Harry started crying”, in GOF it says “The thing against which [Harry] had been fighting on and off ever since he had come out of the maze was threatening to overpower him. He could feel a burning, prickling feeling in the inner corners of his eyes. He blinked and stared up at the ceiling.”

This goes for atmosphere/scenery too! What the heck are the smells! The sounds! What does it feel like!! So whenever fanfic or books do nothing to embellish any feelings I usually click out or DNF

[lenores-2nd-wife]

DRAMA POST!!

Only read if you want to see my side of my grooming allegations (that are false), take care of yourself.

TW: Sexual Language & Mentions of Grooming, and Death & Dox Threats (Long Post Warning)

“Hello everyone.”

Sorry I’ll be serious. 

This is a response addressing a post calling me out that I have reposted on my blog. Please check theirs out for reference if you want a peek at all the lies they’re spreading about me/want the context of what I’m talking about. I want to make sure you see their (Albeit misinformed) side before you see mine to be as transparent as possible.

I honestly never thought I’d have to make one of these things but let’s get this over with. 

To start off, I would like to say that this is NOT an apology as I have no one to apologize to and nothing to apologize for. This is me debunking every single lie that person put in their post. With screenshots of course.

With that being said, I’m very sorry to ABBY AND ABBY ALONE for being dragged into this and whoever made that callout is horrible for what they’ve done. (And to rnf & their mods as they seem to be the main target of that callout even though I’m the one being labeled as a groomer.)

[I will be giving the poster the benefit of the doubt as it seems they got all of their information from a separate party. I truly want to believe they just want to do the right thing and the person giving them the information is the malicious one. I understand trying to protect minors as you seem to be one as well (I was checking in on their account and their bio said 14 at one point? I don’t think it’s still there), but I promise it wouldn’t kill you to send me a DM to see if your information was correct.]

As for a warning of sorts, I will say that the messages between me and Abby were very sexual and I’m not exactly censoring myself going forward. So TW for sexual language/and mentions of grooming again. The only reason I’m not marking this post as explicit is because I want to make sure some people see it as I have literal grooming allegations against me, if it was anything less serious I would have.

Now let’s start with the elephant in the room. 

ME AND ABBY ARE BOTH CONSENTING ADULTS.

She is 19-years-old, born in 2005. Refer to the screenshots above. She even sent me her ID to get into the NSFW part of my server.  Meaning she is not only an adult, but came to me with full interest in talking about sexual topics. (As she is very much so allowed to do as an adult, I just want to get that out of the way before the poster possibly pulls out a “well you were probably making her uncomfortable” accusation out of their ass. If Abby was ever uncomfortable she would have told me and I would have listened. Boundaries are something I take very seriously.)

Speaking of the NSFW side of my server, the poster claims that I was saying sexual things in front of the other minors in the server when everything, and I mean everything, was in the adult section of my server that requires ID verification to get into. I’m in fact very strict with sexual content on my server and IN THE CALLOUT POST they literally show me handling a member who posted a screenshot that contained a friend of theirs saying “I want ___ to eat my ass”. 

(This was an easy mistake mind you and they didn’t have sexual intentions, they were just trying to be funny and share something crazy that their friend said. This is in no way trying to call that minor in my server out, don’t try to find them and leave my server members out of this. I just want to provide context as the member had their message deleted.)

As for their claims of me being racist. I am not. Simply put, I am not, they have provided no screenshots of me saying anything racist and I will not even entertain this statement any longer as it is baseless and downright ridiculous. Don’t include claims if you don’t have evidence to back them up PLEASEE.

Also, the document at the end with all of my shittily made drabbles is VERY misleading. “Dub-Con” WHAT? I promise you that just because Annabel is tied up does not mean she is not consenting. I can maybe see how it can be taken that way but my horny brain at the time wasn’t thinking “Oh and then I’ll make it dub-con!” DO NOT PUT THAT SHIT ON ME. 😭🙏

I am genuinely between being really angry about you posting my embarrassing as hell drabbles and fucking laughing. The “TW Cheating” TAG YOU ADDED IS SENDING ME. ITS OC X CANON I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU EXPECTED, IM SORRY? I wasn’t aware that was a cancelable offense since Monty was mentioned one time I’m losing it.

Now that I have addressed all the claims they have stated. It is now time for me to prove that every single one of their screenshots involving sex and things of that nature are in fact Abby. Warning once again that these screenshots get sexual as both of us were in what we assumed was a safe space to share down bad thoughts and fantasies involving the Nevermore characters and Abby’s OCs.

I will be posting each one of their screenshots in order (I'll try as much as I can running on 2 hours of sleep anyway), and I will explain the context for them of to be as transparent as possible:

Just sexual OC x Canon shipping. You will be seeing a lot of that as we were having fun with Abby's super cool OCs and we talked about them very often.

Joking around about one of the roleplays we were doing & more context for me sharing my splatoon fic with her..

OC x Canon shipping.

Embarrassing, but talking about kinks...

OC x Canon shipping.

Jokes about how calm Ada's relationship was (With an OC!) vs Lenore x Annabel's. (Previously mentioned that Lenore was being dragged into the closet by the ankles) & More OC x Canon.

More jokes about how much we want to smash Lenore & Annabel (Sue me), and me asking sexual questions about her OC.

I’m a person that wants to enjoy Nevermore media in peace with other adults with similar interests in role playing, not a stain on the human race, the only truthful thing you said in your post about me is that I'm a bit of a freak.

I will admit, in a lot of those screenshots I was very out there and really oversexulizing the characters and I can totally see why someone could be made uncomfortable if they saw it. In fact the poster included some of the tamer messages between me and Abby. However I was doing it in a safe manner, in a place people gain access to with the intention of being sexual. So I wasn’t just shouting out every little idea I had to everyone in my server, no one was being forced to look at what I was talking about.

Unlike Crimson, who you are clearly trying to group me with, I’m a normal fucking person who happens to lust after the characters. I’ve posted smut on my Ao3 often and even advertised some of it (With the proper explicit tags) on my blog. It is no secret that I am attracted to the characters, and I honestly don’t feel like I have to repent for that. 

My only bad intentions were my sexual ones with the characters who are proven to be 18+, whether you agree with the kinks shown in the screenshots or what I’m into in general does not matter (Not that any of my kinks are problematic as far as I’m aware? But I am very willing to learn if they are).

I did not deserve to be labeled a groomer. 

Abby did not deserve to have her business outed to the public eye.

I hope, REALLY HOPE, that this was posted with good intentions, but seeing how it was handled and what your page is dedicated to my interests on the side seem to just be a  pawn of yours to get at rnf & the mods to incriminate them for not “handling me” when there is nothing to be handled. Speaking of the mods, now I’ll most likely have to explain and let them know I'm not a pedophile. Thank you SOOO much for that btw.

Leave me, and other bystanders in the fandom minding their own business out of this. 

One more thing, though more so directed to the fandom, you guys can leave my inbox now? At this point I know it's not the same person and I need you guys to calm down. I genuinely had a few people ask me if I was lying about the death threats and I cannot make this shit up.

Your desperation for more drama and what you’re willing to do to make an already bad situation worse disgusts me beyond words and I’m actually really worried about drama pages now because this is not the first time blatant and dangerous misinformation has been spread in this fandom. Of course, that’s just me being emotional and making a whole lot of assumptions about your morals, so don’t quote me on that. Besides, the post didn’t get a whole lot of attention so I’m probably REALLY overreacting.

In conclusion-

(Also as horrible as this is I find it funny that in all the screenshots I have that same Annabel Lee pfp on with the tiny bow. 😭😭)

[lakesbian]

Will you share your twig fanfic at some point? The lil snippets into their adventures are so entertaining

ok so so far i have. one chapter thats jsut like. a rewrite picking up right after 13.11 that's like "hey what if the way the conversation about jessie liking sy/sy putting up walls went Wasnt wildly homophobic and transmisogynistic." i think it's fine and probably about as edited as it's going to get. i'm trying to add to that at least one more chapter that's about like. The ensuing shitshow (good, funny) of sy being really bad and awkward about actually starting up the relationship with jessie bc hes nervouse. but i'm struggling with finding how to reasonably plotwise add a chase scene/the general shenanigans i want to fit in it so i'm worried i'm gonna get stuck there. the ultimate goal for it would be it being a 2 or 3 chapter affair max that ends in sy & jessie properly starting their relationship. if i get really horrendously stuck i might just post the first chapter alone but id like to try to believe in myself

i have a few other snippets that were just basically like me doing the writing equivalent of doodling like. the sleeping beauty one i posted on tumblr + one re the line abt sy gifting jessie the same pen twice by accident + one re my 'why arent cigarettes in twigland super cool and packed with all kind of random shit' complaint. the only other thing thats. I Guess Finished. is like a snippet re 'hey its fucking crazy that wildbow had jessie pose as sy's fiancee when they infiltrated an academy and it was just literally never talked about' that Spiraled. and now it's 3 consecutive longer scenes that are kinda about how i think jessie & sy should be stupid in love, and kinda about how i think we should kill wildbow for not writing jessie being the world's best most functional fit for sy's psychosexual fixations, and kinda about how i think helen should have a Weird dynamic with them, and kinda about how i think it's dumb that sy never gets to have a more developed/understanding relationship with helen despite spending months living with her as a young adult. realistically i should show it to people who are not my friends at this point but Maybe I'me Shy.

and i also wanna keep working on/finish one i started that's a rewrite/continuation of a scene during the black woods quarantine bit that's about like. their fucked up sad little 17-18yo old married couple with Mortality Imminent vibe. but i feel like i wanna go back to that After i finish the stuff that's chronologically earlier? because i started it first, and i think it helped and was fun as a 'where do they go' thing, but i dunno. i might want to get things more straight in my head with the earlier stuff first even if not everything has to be perfectly consistent with each other.

initially i was envisioning just having one fic i update with snippets in each chapter but the thing is that with snippets Spiraling i dunno how i'd post things. i guess the 13.11-> rewrite would obviously be its own thing, but i don't know if the one i mentioned abt the fiancee stuff would count as its own fic vs a snippets series or What. and i should also really before i post anything have someone who 1. has amenable taste and 2. has actually fucking read twig read it and provide thoughts on if anything should be shot before it makes it out of the carriage. but also i fear we have a milquetoast enough situation going on here that it's one of those things where it's a bit silly to go "here..... Critical Review, Please" because it's not Serious Enough writing 4 that. so maybe i should just post shit who's to say

[tamrielf]

Sorry if this is a personal ask, but you said you stayed in a mental hospital and I was curious about something. You post about emilie autumn and I'm sure you know her "inmate number is EA W14A" and I wanted to know if the inmate number thing is real or its just her trying to seem more dramatic. It just always seemed fake to me. I still love her music but I wanted to ask someone with experience with that. You don't have to answer if you aren't comfortable.

u don't have to apologize! its fine. i'm usually pretty open about that stuff anyway. and i can tell you right now that hospitals don't refer to people as inmates. at least, not on paper. if someone called her that then thats on them, but they do not and are not supposed to do that.

as for the number, yes! that is a real thing. every patient staying in a long term facility has some sort of patient ID. and they don't usually give it to you unless you need it for something specific or its a large hospital that requires you to know it.

my "number" is actually pretty similar to that. mine was W13D2.

i know it by heart still to this day because i was there for over 8 months and i had to write it down every time i sent a letter to someone so they'd know what patient to give my mail to.

the W stands for "Ward" and the 13 is the ward i was on and D was my room and 2 was the bed i stayed in because i had a roomate. on my paper work it just says W13D because they don't need my bed number. the bed number is just so they didnt put my mail on the wrong bed lol.

i see why emilie uses the term "inmate" though, because thats what mental patients used to be called. just like hospitals used to be called asylums. and i still use those terms sometimes myself because it feels very fitting. ive had horrific experiences at these places and it felt a lot more like being an inmate than a patient. not saying every hospital is like that, but my experiences were.

i even went to one of the top psychiatric facilities in the country and i still had some of the most traumatic things happen to me there. so much so that i still have trouble sharing it.

i admire emilie a lot. i relate to her a lot. i see people constantly accusing her of glamorizing things and trying to seem edgy or dramatic just for speaking about what happened to her. or because she uses her real life to inspire her art.

people have said the same things to me. and i understand it may look like that to people who have never lived through it. probably because its such a weird and troubling thing to live through. when you've lived with mental illness, trauma, and then horrific mental asylums it leaves you feeling even more crazy. because you don't know how to react or express yourself because nothing prepares you for that.

its almost like losing your innocence again except you're an adult and not a child. (well i went as a minor too but you know what i mean lol)

sorry for rambling, its hard to explain stuff like this without going in depth lol

[raytorosaurus]

ray really went off w remember the laughter (album) but also specifically remember the laughter (song)

I KNOW I KNOWWWWW. actually i find it so interesting that ray's the only member of mcr to have released a concept album post-breakup tbh...(i don't count electric century bc the album and comic seem very separate). but remember the laughter is such a coherent and self-contained piece of art it's so cool. besides we save it's genuinely rare that i listen to one song without listening to the entire album bc (like frank said actually), it's almost cinematic in the way it flows through (including the seamless transitions between tracks! little sonic references back to previous tracks throughout the album! the MUSIC BOX LOOP IF YOU RESTART AFTER THE END!!!!!!!) i think its weakest point is its lack of variation at times which means some tracks don't necessarily stand out on their own against some of the others, but it's satisfying enough to listen to start to finish that i can't really complain. i would love to see ray lean into that and try his hand at writing sountrack...or, alternatively, to casually release individual tracks that don't fit with a larger project, because he has loads :((( he was experimenting with dirtier punk and metal sounds before he settled on the rtl vibe and i wish he'd share some of those even if they weren't necessarily complete :( but oh well

anyway that being said - there are a few tracks i just have to listen to sometimes from rtl and rtl the song is one of them. so much going on in the background instrumentation beneath a morbid concept delivered without the morbidity, and a slow six-minute build into the most genuinely gorgeous guitar solo i've ever heard in my entire life...what more could you want tbh. it was such a bold choice to not have guitar dominate the whole album since it's not only his strength but also literally the only thing he's know for lol but it means the solos that are on there stand out sooooo beautifully, and the rtl one has gotta be my favourite. very closely followed by the great beyond and then we save, i think...im trying to learn them one by one on guitar but like even if could buy the most expensive gear id never be able to put as much tone and emotion into them as he does...crazy how he's an excellent musician huh lol

[littleeggrock]

Dirty Little Animals by Bones UK (from the Arcane soundtrack) is so first couple days feral BOLAS?! To me. Explanation under the cut for anyone interested lol

Like the first verse? "Taste what fell from grace"? They weren't exactly high and mighty on the first island, but they sure had it better there than in literal purgatory.

"You wanna mess around they're gonna take you down down down" - The other teams took this somewhat seriously, but by the end of the first day Bolas was completely broke and decided to go with the rp route, go completely insane, and somehow are still winning, despite all the hangups and deaths they had.

"such a lovely way to burn burn burn" - at the end of the first day there was a solid five minutes of people throwing themselves into the campfire to amass a large pile of bodies

"I've never felt like this before, think I might just want some more" - the amount of all the trauma and just general vibes given off by these specific people was enough to allow bolas to go over the edge and go crazy, alone they've all got their respective RP things going but together the energy bounces off each other as they constantly enable the ones around them, allowing for them to go well and truly insane after Bad provided a catalyst

"the kind of wrong that make you feel right" - so many of the characters on this team are considered morally grey, really none besides Phil and maybe carre have any sort of moral standing, and even then it's debatable, Jaidens close but she's also very easily manipulated as we see with cucurucho, she has good intentions most of the time but she doesn't have them because they are good, she has them because she doesn't want the people close to her getting hurt

"the little death that makes you feel alive" -jaidens complete disregard for her life on day four, willing to die upwards of 30 times (she died ninety four times total but also died from the gas a lot so im not sure how much was spawn camping, figured id play it safe) to cheat and manipulate the other teams for the benefit of BOLAS. Also again the campfire. And the stick fights. They just really like to beat eachother to the death.

"it makes your blood run hot, it makes your spit taste sweet, it makes you feel more alive than you have ever been" - literally just the insanity that's swamped the team, it's been dialed down some since day 4 but it's definitely still there, they are not ok and I love them. Some analogy could be made with the gas masks and the toxic gas, knowing you are immune to something that has killed many, the high of the adrenaline as they run through this fatal fog with little regards for their own safety.

"dirty little animals, beautiful cannibals" - they've brought up cannibalism multiple times and the majority of them (characters, to clarify) say they would be fine with it if given consent first, cellbit's canonically already done it too lmao. You can't tell be that they aren't just a buncha dirty little guys. Have you seen Charlie's skin, have you heard jaiden and foolish barking, all of them screeching muffled at the enemies, or howling in joy

Also for those of you who haven't seen, arcane season 2 got a release date for sometime in November 2024, which is so fucking exciting and it's a lot sooner than I expected

Sorry for the long post the brainrot got to me and I had to write this down somewhere lmao, figured id share with the class

[evillillad]

Can we maybe get some character sheets for your ocs and id like to write about them!!

👉👈

AAAHH i really wanna do updated character sheets WITH personality and lore i just aint got time rn!! BUT thank you for being interested!! 😭😭

to make up for the lake of sheets, heres some facts and lore typed out lol

Molly: (based on persona) secret demon being attached to Nina

Mollys kind of a strange case. Not quite puppet not quite...other creatures. She popped into existence around the time nina was born, hence the shared birthday. Shes a bit scatter brained, very easily distracted but once she has her mind set on something, nothing can get in her war. She's quite inquisitive and is constantly asking questions. Her first day in the neighborhood was basically asking every neighbor she met the most wild and intrusive questions she had. Little to no filter, says exactly whats on her mind. Doesnt understand why that makes some people so uncomfortable. Isnt it good to be curious? To tell the truth? To be honest? Man these creatures are strange. Also doesnt have any boundaries, is an absolute open book and for some reason is suprised when not everyone else is too. Think of her almost like a more unhinged wally, very naive to the ways of the waking world, but well verse in the night time activities. frequently takes long walks alone in the middle of the night. she sees them. she knows them. she keeps them away. some have gotten a bit too close to the neighborhood for comfort, is it because of her? do they know shes one of them, if not atleast similar? shes suspicious wally knows whats going on, its not normal for these beings to be here, but what draws them in?

^ongoing plot line of Molly spying on Wally constantly. A bit obsessive with him-she cant tell WHAT he is but she knows he isnt like the other neighbors but hes also not like her. Constantly pushing and manipulating him to break, but he seems either annoyed or oblivious to her attempts. otherwise, general nuisance to Wally, Frank (eats his bugs), Eddie (stares at him thru the post office window), Poppy (constantly getting herself into trouble) and Nina (personal demon).

Also maybe kills the nighttime creatures?? it seems like shes protecting the neighborhood from an outsiders perspective but those that REALLY know her know its territorial...somehow isnt intimidated by home tho. maybe shes trying to work with home? two demon things band together?? idk lmao

clumsy but also graceful? very bendy. no bones...crawls around like a creep sometimes.

Nina: (self insert oc) regular spider gal with a knack for art

Ninas quite normal actually. She was raised by a normal family within normal circumstances, but found herself with the strangest imaginary friend. She was never quite sure why one day everyone was suddenly able to see Molly but shes glad she finally isnt crazy. Now she cant get rid of the annoying asshole. Stuck with this annoying ass demon puppet thing, Nina moves to the neighborhood to get a new start on independence. With her new home, Nina spends most of her days painting, sewing, crocheting, and sculpting. Of course she always has her music going on, its never quiet in the house. Wally spends lots of time with her, they will frequently setup figure drawing sessions where their fellow neighbors will pose for them. Howdy seemed more than happy to constantly volunteer, maybe a tad bit overzealous to show off his muscles. Nina was more than excited to have such an interesting subject to create art of, although with Wally by her side, he always seemed to end up drawing an apple. There wasn't even an apple in the set. Nina doesnt care, shes just happy to have her little darling with her!

Despite being easily excitable and down to earth, shes actually quite timid and easily flustered. Howdys first few advancements had Nina trying to come up with some sort of lie so she could hurriedly get out of the bugdega and hide her beet red face. After this its just the rom com do they like me pinning i love so much lol

Unlike the other neighbors, she is somewhat aware of what goes bump in the night. Shes not sure what exactly it is, but she knows its dangerous...and she knows Molly has too much fun dealing with it. Despite Mollys homicidal tendecies, Nina is NOT scared of her. Shes aware of the fact that without her, Molly wouldnt have a host to stay alive. She cant do anything to harm her and even if she did, Ninas not afraid to grab her by the tail and launch her into the sun (Molly is actually somewhat intimidated by Nina, so she shows some level of obedience).

and thats it for those two!! I also would like to add that I wanna work on an oc of my dog and make goofy content of him and barnaby being like dude tf are u doing. also i know i have other ocs but either they arent quite fleshed out (lilith, betty, batsy), they arent technically mine (tilly and mitzy), or im just really tired and its late rn.

but if u got this far wow ermgee thanks for reading my late night rambles im dying

TLDR: Mollys homicidal, stupid, cant read a room, and is a demon. Ninas just a timid, excitable, down to earth, artsy spider with a weird demon imaginary friend that came to life.

[wafflinglumos]

hihi! i found your blog a few days ago and to sum it up I FEEL SEEN. i joined the marauders fandom a little while ago and read the powerpoints, other peoples takes on the characters, seen videos, and posts, and am currently reading atyd but, some of the things i’ve seen kinda just irked me?

and then i found your blog and all of a sudden i kid you not a beam of light enveloped the room, LMFAO I FELT SO HEARD AND SEEN and your posts are so well written and outspoken -something i could have never even try to do. i’ve seen people literally be eaten alive in comments if someone disagrees with a certain popular opinion or ship and that was insane to me like, ISNT THIS FANDOM MAJORITY MADE UP??

anyways thank you for being the beacon of hope <3

(also the one thing that really struck me wrong was the obsession of mlm in the fandom? like they’ll pump out mlm ships and characters i’ve never heard of WAYYY before they remember the women in the fandom. like?? i wanna see more dorlene stuff and a canon complaint lily fic from her perspective! women are so complicated and beautiful i just wanna see some representation and justice for them. for a fandom that preaches representation they really do forget all the women they’ve created. they all make them seem like they’re getting in the way of the mlm ships. for example, marlene being sirius, “crazy” ex, lily getting in the way of jegulas “a bitch”, mary never having a personality other than being pretty -LIKE??? anyways id love to hear your thoughts on this)

A BEACON OF HOPE??? Sobbing and sliding down the wall

ANON this is the sweetest thing I’ve ever been told oh my god, I’m crying that is so sweet, ahrhfbfb, this is genuinely so sweet anon <3

As for the obsession with mlm thing, I feel like every fandom has their fair share of that, usually it’s just fetishization but honestly, while I could be wrong I do feel with the marauders fandom it’s only partly that(there is definitely fetishization though don’t get me wrong)a part of it I think stems from misogyny/internalized misogyny, but I think a lot of it is a part of this fandom’s inability to write certain things, that being non one dimensional women, and sure sometimes you come across a gorgeously written post, but for the most part, the women, even if they’re not written as cartoon villains, never have that much depth, like Lily for example, she could be a main character aside Regulus in something, but she’d never as developed as Regulus, her flaws are easy to fix/easy to understand(and that’s IF she has any). I feel like a part of the fandom thinks that putting Lily in a different relationship and calling it a day with no expansion on her character besides “hot BAMF queen”, is somehow different that making her a cartoon villain, when they’re both basically the same.

I think it heavily stems from misogyny and just not being able to write women with flaws, (of course it’s not just a problem with the lack of flaws in women but I won’t get into that right now lol)

Hopefully this was well worded I’m sleepy :D

[anglesideangle]

A Study in Sonder

a short story by livy taillon

please give me feedback and stuff id love to hear (read?) it

small warning for the tiniest mention of blood

ok here it is

Hal Avalos loves people-watching. He relishes going on drives around his city of Philadelphia, observing the intricacies of city life like he’s done for the past 48 years—ever since he could drive. He prefers to walk, but at his age, he is limited, which is a shame. It’s easier to hear conversations and see the details of a face while walking.

Hal finds something interesting in nearly every interaction he watches, which separates him from other people. Just last Saturday on a brunch outing with his friends from Bingo club, he shared a story that made his eyes well up with tears:

He was driving to the park when he stopped at an intersection. He saw a woman walking across the street accidentally drop her wallet, only noticing this once she was on the other side. A car stopped just before running it over and the driver got out, grabbed the wallet, and handed it to the woman. As the car drove away, the woman smiled and waved with genuine gratitude.

After he was finished telling his story, however, his friends sat in silence and stared at him. Jerry, a large man in his early 70s, gave a loud cough.

“So, what is everyone getting to eat? I can’t decide between the sausage and the hashbrowns myself,” said Jerry. Hal was confused at first. Why was no one acknowledging his story? Why were they all staring like he was some demented nutcase? The conversation started up again, and Hal realized they truly thought he was crazy. They thought the events he’d witnessed were ordinary and mundane. He thought this was incredibly dismissive and shallow of them. He also felt a small pang of pity for them that they can’t see others in the way he does; they ignore the interesting people and things all around them. Most people, Hal discovered, have never experienced sonder. Sonder is the realization that everyone, including strangers passing in the street, have lives as complex and intricate as one’s own. Hal himself never realized this; he’s always known it. He was born with intense fascination that extended all the way to passersby.

An extension of his people-watching, Hal enjoys filming people. He films interactions between lovers, friends, families, strangers, and even enemies. Occasionally, when he doesn’t feel like going out to people-watch, he watches his films instead. When he considers a film too good not to share, he creates a new Youtube account with a name that isn’t his and posts the video. He does this because he knows the conventional wisdom says filming strangers without their knowledge is weird and creepy, but documenting one wholesome moment isn’t. A few of his videos have gone viral, but on account of his commitment to staying anonymous, Hal never benefits from it. Despite the lack of profit he gains from it, Hal considers his photography and filmography a very fine art. He considers himself similar to a wildlife photographer filming and documenting animals’ daily lives. Wildlife photographers, however, never interact with their subjects. Whether it is to hurt or help them, those people only watch.

Hal has a different philosophy.

Anna Keens, a 32-year-old woman from Center City, appears in three different videos across the internet. In one of them, posted by William Myers (an account with no other posts and no profile picture) on Facebook, she is seen having a heated dispute with Dante Fox, her ex-boyfriend. In the video, he threatens her and reveals a handgun on his hip. The video ends before Anna’s reaction to this, which worries everyone who sees it. In fact, everyone is too worried about what happens next to wonder about the person behind the camera.

The video of Anna Keens was posted three days after she was reported missing by her sister. During those three days, Anna’s disappearance was beginning to gain traction on social media. The masses were suspicious of Dante Fox, and after the video was posted, they believed their suspicions were right. The police further confirmed speculations when they gained a warrant to search Fox’s apartment. There, they found three of Anna’s teeth, Anna’s blood on a shirt and pair of sneakers, a handgun (the one seen in the video), and a clump of Anna’s red hair along with a bit of scalp in Fox’s trash.

“Dante Fox is a sick man who kept trophies of his heinous crime,” said the chief of police to the press.

Fox pleaded not guilty to first-degree murder. He received a life sentence with no possibility of parole.

Hal sighed in relief when he read the news. Normally, people like Anna went overlooked, but Hal supposed Anna was slightly different from the rest of them. She was young, pretty, and had her whole life ahead of her; which made her murder more enraging. Hal doesn’t really see things this way. To him, all of them are equal.

Hal has filmed many others. Sometimes, their faces show up on the Missing In Philly Facebook group he’s a member of. Others show up on the news, on telephone poles, or even (twice) on billboards. But all of them star in videos of Hal’s—some private, many public. Nobody ever considers it strange how many missing and murdered people can be seen on the internet, made famous by accounts that aren’t their own. To Hal, this shows the general public’s thoughtlessness and lack of critical thinking, but he is glad for their disregard. After all, Hal doesn’t want to be caught. He wants people to keep thinking he’s just an old man in retirement, sitting peacefully on a park bench in Philly, listening to the children playing, watching the birds, and engaging in a little harmless people-watching.

ok so that was my story. hoped you liked it and please leave a comment or something! i may or may not continue sharing my writing here depending on how this does

tags

[blkkizzat]

It’s like they knew I was complaining…

I GOT BLOCKED. AGAIN. 🤯

And this time it was from someone I was following for a while and I know this because 1. I didn’t follow anyone recently and 2. I only follow like 70 people so I’ll notice when someone blocked me.

I honestly have no idea what it is for. I really dont repost a lot and if I do it isn’t minor characters or age ups.

Maybe because I haven’t posted since like September?? When I did post last it didn’t really get a lot of attention so it was super demotivating posting again, I mean I have soooo much lil unfinished things in my draft but AUGHHHHHHHH I just wanna fall into the void and crawl up into a little ball sometimes 😭

Anyways sorry for ranting so much..oh and I want your opinion do you think I should write head-canons or a SMAU? I only did head-canons once and it was my biggest work (900-ish) but they take more work to do but if I do SMAUs they are quicker to make but I don’t really get a lot of attention on them. (btw if you don’t know what SMAU is it’s kinda like a made up text story replying to the character of your choice.)

-🪼

🪼nonny im sorry boo! who knows why? i know sometimes things can be by mistake so maybe if you have another account message them to find out why? ive seen some people say "if you think i blocked you on accident lmk", and they may or may not be receptive to it, but if you approach it as "im not trying to argue with you, only trying to find out if i am leaving a bad impression in someway as I have noticed a pattern of people blocking me lately." it's more likely they will be open to sharing with you why and even if its something you dont agree with don't get defensive about it as at the end of the day it was their choice. but thats only if you care enough to do so. ive never done so in this context, but ive done so irl with friends of friends who i thought didnt like me for whatever reason and regardless of what they said, its their choice. but do remember at the end of the day, other people opinion of you is not necessarily an accurate reflection so while it is good to evaluate if theres any room for improvement. dont let it drive you crazy/take it too much to heart. theres tons and tons of great writers out there to follow who wouldnt block you.

hey! id say do whatever you feel like doing tbh, notes be damned. i never consider notes when i write something. if i did then i would only write short 500-1k drabbles or multi-fic character drabbles as those seem to get the most attention. i dont have anything against them (i actually have a ton of funny concepts for them) its just very hard for me to write smut without some sort of build up to it. but that wont be true for everyone so write what you are inspired by and what makes you happy.

notes will come! but if you aren't feeling good about what you write it will definitely show. which is why i write so slow fkhdfkhjdf.