Some people online: So glad to see Doctor Who being fun and campy again! This previous era was too serious!
The previous era:
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when it comes down to it, however much i think about eiffel's memory, whatever my reasoning might be, i think there's a much simpler core explanation for why i feel the way i do. i've said before that, if eiffel did regain his memory, i would want it to happen through 'an eiffel version of change of mind' i.e. a personal inner journey where the narrative he tells himself amounts to some greater reminder, self-confrontation, and self-realization. and that's just it:
eiffel regaining his memory wouldn't be a cop out to me for the same reason that lovelace not actually dying isn't a cop out: it's not just a story beat, it's a catalyst for character development & a better understanding of lovelace as a person. eiffel has spent his whole life trying not to be the person he is, and i just don't feel wolf 359 is the type of story to let him off the hook for that, when the ending is as much about accountability (to ourselves and to others and all the ways those responsibilities overlap) as it is about hope. i think there are ways you could argue that eiffel can still be eiffel without regaining his memory, but i think i've convinced myself that the symbolic resurrection / self-confrontation and acceptance of all the people he's been in the past, in order to move forward, is the more compelling option, especially for what it parallels, and the "eiffel is still eiffel" part is non-negotiable. it doesn't even feel like a question to me.
(and it makes the most sense to me in the context of eiffel's survivor's guilt - "of course i was fine. the driver's always fine." - and tendency towards a type of self-sacrifice and self-punishment that the show ultimately denies him / that doesn't address his real problem. he thinks sacrificing himself for the people he cares about will make up for something, but it won't. having him make that sacrifice and then keep living and keep being doug eiffel, with everything that means, feels like the natural extension of constructive criticism.)
in another story, or in a more theoretical context, there are all kinds of questions you could ask about whether eiffel's memory loss means he's a different person now, but in this case... i think it's better understood in narrative terms and what it represents for him as a character than any broader philosophical conclusion about the nature of the self and human consciousness. (and it is in no way as absolute as people sometimes behave like it is, considering he still has a concept of, like... everything. but that's a whole other topic of discussion.) most importantly, i just don't believe wolf 359 is a story about ideas as much as it is a story about people, these people, and in order to (hypothetically) continue to tell a story about doug eiffel, well. he has to still be doug eiffel. one way or another.
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Do you ever think about MEZZO'' and their character development and go insane? Do you ever think about how these two guys who grew up in opposite ways economically both came into the industry with broken families? Do you ever think about how they were so sure they would never get along beyond friendly coworkers but also both wanted to try so hard to get along well with the other? You ever think about how Sogo was so afraid to mess up that he constantly held himself back? Do you think about how Tamaki wanted to learn but had to push past his entire life of putting himself first? Do you think about how they supported each other during the other's reconnecting with their families and, when those families abandoned them, promised to stay with the other?
Just....MEZZO slowly becoming this thing between a real friendship and a family. Not best friends, like they said once, but maybe unbreakable friends
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remember the random bitch lestat had on the side and turned into a vampire? and then the coven wanted us to give a fuck that louis and claudia killed her?
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Every single week, without fail, I lose an object. It's always an object that I place on a very specific place every single time, but then one time I decide to put it away somewhere else. I NEVER remember where that is. The one thing I hate about myself, and I do mean deeply and profoudnly hate, is how fucking shitty my memory is. I have gotten late to work because I picked up my keys on the way out, but then quickly set them down somewhere, but because I picked them up it was enough for my brain to register as "you have your keys" and then I couldn't find them anywhere for 30 minutes. I once tore the house apart, literally throwing drawers open and looking under the bed in despair, because I hung my purse on the mirror instead of the coat-rack behind the door, and I could not find it. This shit happens every week. Last week it was a wallet I just found crushed between two books, and today it's a recipe book. Next week it will be something else.
"You should try--" nothing works. It got so bad at one point I was literally medicated against my will, and it did shit. Every single technique known to man, from every ADHD online guru to Improve Your Memory gurus you can think of, everything failed. It's just a fucked up thing about my brain I have to live with.
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Going that insane route of trying to piece the stories together through game's special cut ins before battles (p much one of few of its small ways to provide story/characters context), official little descriptions and pixiv logs
We're really in it now
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maybe i shouldnt read about estrogen after 9 pm because i can feel my brain slowly fizzling out for each word
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You are right about the ADHD but also anxiety or nerves also diminish executive function like memory. It’s dead funny though that it’s 1D songs Louis is having the most trouble with. The choruses are fine but he hasn’t got the verses yet because he didn’t sing those bits.
That would make a helluva lot of sense, plus those songs stem from a DECADE AGO during a time of intense anxiety, plus plus at least 2//5 of those suffering from that particular form of ptsd have talked about how they were fucking wasted during most of those shows, so yeah, how is it surprising lol, but no, it's short-term memory loss due to WEEEEEEEEEEEEEED, drugs are bad, m'kay
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When a customer jumps to wild conclusions about your motives when you forget to do something you always have trouble remembering to do; because your checkout routine was disrupted and/or ran very, very long; and still makes a fuss over it when you are willing to, and actually do, fix the issue, scolding you for it throughout…
Over (at the absolute highest) five dollars off on a two-hundred dollar purchase. Wow.
I mean, yeah, I fucked up; but it was an honest mistake, I felt gutted bad about it, and ultimately I corrected the error, so I’m good right?
I wish she hadn’t walked out before I could apologize formally though. I don’t like hurting people.
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