#some of you most definitely saw this when i drew it a couple weeks ago jafksqjfs

[wheatcak3]

a couple more bardven doodles i forgot to post because i cant find one i like enough to render LMAO 😭😭😭

[mpregandproud]

Isaac (Part 2)

How do you tell the person you've just started dating that you're expecting his child? It's the question that has been bothering me since I left the doctor's office. So many emotions in such a short time. I was hoping to be a father sometime in my life, but with Sandra. Since I started dating Isaac I discarded that option, I don't know why I did it. Prejudice, for sure, I come from a traditional family and two men being fathers together was not usual. I thought I would have to adopt or use a surrogate to be a dad in the future. And it turns out that I am finally one of those few men who can get pregnant and as luck would have it, I am expecting Isaac's child.

I needed to clear my head before I got home, so I didn't go back by bus, I decided to take a walk around town until I got to Isaac's apartment. I stopped at a shop window, my reflection in the glass already showed a belly that a few months ago was not there. My breakup with Sandra resulted in my anxiety about food. In just a couple of weeks I put on 50 pounds, I look like a cow. I've always been a glutton. It was the reason I started playing soccer, to stay in shape. Since I stopped playing soccer I had lost muscle, but I never put on as much weight as I did in those days. I lost some weight these last few weeks, but the belly was still there. It wasn't very big, because I'm a big man, but it definitely showed. As I looked at myself in the window I put my hands on my belly and rubbed it. I didn't look too bad, I even looked sexy. I better get used to it because this little one is only going to get bigger.

I arrived home two hours later, on the way I stopped to buy some donuts and eat them in the park in the sun. Was it the first craving? Isaac arrives home at 20:00 from the university where he is a literature professor. I prepared a special dinner, decorated the table for the occasion and dressed more elegant than usual.

When Isaac arrived he greeted me with a romantic kiss and a hug. When he saw the beautifully decorated table he asked me if we were celebrating something and I told him I had a surprise for him.

"Honey, as you know, today I had an appointment at the doctor's because of my belly, which was harder than usual. He said there's nothing wrong with me" I said and Isaac made a relieved face, he held my hands to reassure me. "The thing is... it turns out... I'm pregnant... I'm expecting your child", as I told him about it his face drew an expression of greater surprise. I haven't known Isaac for a long time and I wasn't able to interpret what he was thinking at that very moment.

There was an eternal silence. It would barely last a few seconds, but for me it was the longest moment of my life. Isaac grabbed me again with his big, warm hands. At that moment a sense of peace washed over me. "It's all right. I'm not going to lie to you if I tell you that I didn't expect to be a dad so young, but I think you're the father I always dreamed of for my children. I love you so much, Daniel," he said, looking into my eyes with emotion. After that, we kissed passionately.

"According to what he told me, I'm a one month pregnant, so if I do the math, it had to be the first time we slept together. It's one of the few times we've fucked without a condom, so it has to be from that day. I have no doubt," I said. Actually, this detail didn't matter anymore. I could see Isaac's excitement overflowing. His eyes were shining like never before. I don't think anyone had ever looked at me with as much love and admiration as he did at that moment.

The following weeks were complicated. I kept having morning sickness. My appetite grew and I regained the weight I had managed to lose since I started dating Isaac. My doubts about my body returned, but he made sure to remind me that he met me with a belly and that it was one of the parts of my body he liked the most. In fact, whenever he had the chance he would show it to me. I worked part-time as an IT guy and the rest of the day I spent walking, eating and resting until Isaac came home in the evening. Since we found out we were going to be parents our sexual activity has multiplied. From what they say, pregnant women enjoy sex more in the final months, but my body is already enjoying it from the beginning.

By the time I was two months pregnant, I weighed 230 pounds. For someone who for many years had been under 170 pounds, it was a major change. Most of my clothes no longer fit. Actually, they hadn't fit for months, although I didn't want to admit it. With the belly I gained after the separation, all my shirts were tight. And now my pants started to fit tight too. I had to buy a lot of new clothes in very large sizes so that they would fit me for a longer period of time. With the new clothes I could look like I wasn't pregnant, just a little chubbier than usual.

We decided not to tell our friends and family until I had a new ultrasound and they checked to make sure everything was perfect. We both wanted to share the news with our loved ones, especially with Isaac's friends, with whom we met almost every day. With them I felt very supported and understood from the first day. They made me feel like one of the group of friends, even before Isaac and I started dating. I had more in common with them than I did with my high school or college friends. I would even hang out with Bruce, Ken, Tom and Justin when Isaac was at home preparing for his classes. They had become my family.

The day of the ultrasound came. I left work and headed to the hospital. I was excited, eager to find out if everything was going well. The bus arrived, I entered the hospital and stood in the waiting room. Isaac was already arriving, he had taken his car from the university and in a few minutes he would be with me to go in for the ultrasound together.

As I waited, a woman with a huge belly sat next to me, she must be about to give birth. I looked up and saw it was Sandra, and she looked very sad. "Hello, Sandra, it's been a long time, how are you doing" I asked her. Deep down I would have preferred that meeting not to have taken place. She burst into tears without answering me.

When the crying passed, she looked at me and said, "I missed you Dan. Everything was easier with you. But look at me, about to give birth, abandoned by Peter and without a job. I've screwed it all up." I didn't think her life was so bad, why would Peter leave her? "I see you're doing better, you're glowing. Your cousin told me that after our breakup you had a hard time and put on a lot of weight, but now you had met someone and were very happy. I imagine that if you are in this clinic it will be because you are going to be a father. Congratulations," she told me in a reproachful tone.

"That's right, I'm going to be a dad in about seven months. There's still a long way to go, but I'm very excited," I told her. I knew those words didn't help to lighten the mood, but inside I was so happy since I knew I was pregnant that I didn't care about anything else. Just then Isaac came into the waiting room and kissed me before sitting down next to me. "Sandra, this is Isaac, my boyfriend. Isaac, this is Sandra, my ex-wife," I introduced them. Isaac offered his hand in greeting, but Sandra remained disgruntled.

"Your boyfriend? Are you gay? Did you use a surrogate to become parents?" Sandra asked. Isaac and I looked at each other and couldn't help but smile. "Yes, we're boyfriends. I met him at soccer few weeks after our divorce and, although it took us a while to become boyfriends, I think I fell in love with him from that day on," I said looking Isaac in the eye, even though I was responding to Sandra. "No, we didn't resort to a surrogate," Isaac said putting his hand on my belly and rubbing it, while looking at me and winking. That gesture didn't help with Sandra, but it came naturally to Isaac.

"Wait, what, you got pregnant?" said Sandra in surprise. "That's right, I happen to be unknowingly one of the few men in the world who can get pregnant. It wasn't a wanted thing, but we're so happy to be able to be dads," I told her. She gasped. It was normal, the man she had been married to for three years was standing in front of her with a boyfriend and announcing that he was expecting a child. At that moment we were called to the office. Isaac and I got up immediately and I said goodbye to Sandra. Isaac approached her and invited her to come to our house for dinner that night to continue getting to know each other and talk. Although I didn't really feel like being with Sandra, this kind of gesture is what made me fall in love with Isaac. She, to my surprise, gladly accepted the invitation. It was the first moment that day that I really saw her happy.

I lay down on the table and the doctor started the ultrasound. He said he could feel my belly a little bigger and firmer than last time, that was a good sign. Isaac didn't stop holding my hand at any time, he was so excited about this pregnancy. The doctor confirmed my suspicions, there was more than one baby. "Congratulations to both of you, you are expecting triplets." Three babies? I thought it would be two, three is a lot. My face was terrified. If expecting one child already scared me, and the thought of two terrified me, three made me panic. At that moment I thought about how much I was going to get fat, how it would change my life to have three babies to support. A feeling of responsibility and fear at the same time.

I looked at Isaac and he was ecstatic, the sparkle in his eyes was bigger than ever. "Oh, how wonderful my love, we are going to be daddies to three beautiful babies. I love you so much," he said and kissed me immediately. As it always happens to me, his kisses give me peace, all my doubts and fears disappeared instantly. This man has the ability to make me feel in seventh heaven. I was carrying three children of the man I love, what could be better than that.

Go to Part 3

[leomlarson]

Leo laughed, taking a sip of his IPA with a sheepish shrug. He was still pretty young, sure, but sometimes he felt like he was still a freshman in college — eighteen or nineteen and invincible. He kept himself in good enough shape, but sometimes he'd feel an ache come on in his knees after biking for too long, in a way it never did when he was younger, and he'd go into a mini existential crisis. It was the little things, even Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul's tequila, that kept him sane.

"Ah, but that'd take too long," Leo said with a wave. "Don't worry about me, though, I won't get too fucked up, and if I am, then bully me into leaving the bike here and calling an Uber."

He took a step back to let Paxton have free reign over the table, leaning up against the wall and taking another sip of his drink as he listened. "Oh, I highly doubt that," he said at Paxton's light disparagement of himself. He didn't like when people, especially people as evidently good as Paxton, spoke ill of themselves, but he didn't push. Instead, he leaned forward using his cue as a staff and listened intently, his eyes progressively widening more and more at the ghost story.

Of course he believed in ghosts; he grew up listening to his grandmother talking about banshees. His mouth was agape by the time Paxton had finished, barely registering that the other man had made his shot. "Holy shit. And you never saw it again? God, if that were me, I don't think I would've slept until I saw it again. You're lucky it was a benevolent one. I hear they can get pretty aggressive sometimes."

Leaving his drink on the nearest high top, he stepped forward to take his next shot, a tricky one that involved creating some backspin to get the cue ball to stop before it could fall into a pocket and scratch. "Hm... favorite student teacher experience..." He let his left hand push the cue forward, grinning as the ball did exactly what it was supposed to and sent another solid into a pocket. Leo looked back up at Paxton. "So I'm a faculty sponsor for the GSA, which is basically just a designated place for the all of the queer kids to hang out after school and talk. One of my favorite students — maybe my favorite, actually — showed up a couple weeks ago. She seemed really scared, but she came back the next week, and again this week, and she told me that she felt comfortable coming because I'm the one looking after them. I don't know...not many feelings have topped the one I got when she told me that."

"Okay, my turn again." He hummed, considering a question. "Why comic books? What drew you to them and that kind of art? And do you have any original characters hidden away somewhere that I will most definitely ask to see if you say yes?"

@paxton-brady

"Tequila."

Paxton looks to Leo knowingly, the grin on his face nothing short of bemused. "Reminds me of college. Just without the salt and the lime." In the rare instances he was able to be pried off the walls and to the foreground to throw back a shot with one of his classmates. "Why… don't you just walk next to your bike instead of trying to ride it?" His hands wring against the pool cue when all the possibilities of what could go wrong come to mind, and the worry works into the downward curl of his frown. Falling onto cement and hitting his head or into traffic or—

Stop.

Pax takes a quick swig of his beer. The game. He can focus on the game. The one that starts off quick with Leo's precision in pocketing his first ball. "Oh, uhm. I'm a very boring person, let me think about this." His bottom lip is chewed on while Paxton thinks of anything but his accident, because he is not starting this hangout with that kind of oversharing.

"When I will a little kid, I'd go one weekend a month at my grandparents' house. From my mom's side, I was their only grandson, so I got spoiled. But the house they lived in always creaked in the night. Sounded like someone was always walking around the halls in slippers, but they'd just tell me it was the wind." Paxton begins to line up his own shot, eyeing the table and leaning over to look to the striped ball right on the edge of a pocket, an easy shot to make even with lack of skill.

"Jump to when I was maybe six, I remember waking up at three in the morning the use the bathroom, saw some figure down the hall and we stared each other down, until it, like, whooshed—" because that's the best word to describe a shadow moving— "Into the closest room and a door slammed."

He mirrors Leo's action with less finesse, nearly scratching the white but considering the position of the ball he's aiming for, it drops right in. "I don't know, I finished my task and went back to sleep, and I asked about it in the morning. Maybe I had too much sugar before bed." And an overactive imagination.

"Alright! What has been your most favorite student teacher experience?"

[uomo-accattivante]

Excellent article about bringing a re-make of Ingmar Bergman’s Scenes from a Marriage to fruition, and the twenty-year friendship that Oscar Isaac and Jessica Chastain share:

There were days on the shoot for “Scenes From a Marriage,” a five-episode limited series that premieres Sept. 12 on HBO, when Oscar Isaac resented the crew.

The problem wasn’t the crew members themselves, he told me on a video call in March. But the work required of him and his co-star, Jessica Chastain, was so unsparingly intimate — “And difficult!” Chastain added from a neighboring Zoom window — that every time a camera operator or a makeup artist appeared, it felt like an intrusion.

On his other projects, Isaac had felt comfortably distant from the characters and their circumstances — interplanetary intrigue, rogue A.I. But “Scenes” surveys monogamy and parenthood, familiar territory. Sometimes Isaac would film a bedtime scene with his onscreen child (Lily Jane) and then go home and tuck his own child into the same model of bed as the one used onset, accessorized with the same bunny lamp, and not know exactly where art ended and life began.

“It was just a lot,” he said.

Chastain agreed, though she put it more strongly. “I mean, I cried every day for four months,” she said.

Isaac, 42, and Chastain, 44, have known each other since their days at the Juilliard School. And they have channeled two decades of friendship, admiration and a shared and obsessional devotion to craft into what Michael Ellenberg, one of the series’s executive producers, called “five hours of naked, raw performance.” (That nudity is metaphorical, mostly.)

“For me it definitely felt incredibly personal,” Chastain said on the call in the spring, about a month after filming had ended. “That’s why I don’t know if I have another one like this in me. Yeah, I can’t decide that. I can’t even talk about it without. …” She turned away from the screen. (It was one of several times during the call that I felt as if I were intruding, too.)

The original “Scenes From a Marriage,” created by Ingmar Bergman, debuted on Swedish television in 1973. Bergman’s first television series, its six episodes trace the dissolution of a middle-class marriage. Starring Liv Ullmann, Bergman’s ex, it drew on his own past relationships, though not always directly.

“When it comes to Bergman, the relationship between autobiography and fiction is extremely complicated,” said Jan Holmberg, the chief executive of the Ingmar Bergman Foundation.

A sensation in Sweden, it was seen by most of the adult population. And yes, sure, correlation does not imply causation, but after its debut, Swedish divorce were rumored to have doubled. Holmberg remembers watching a rerun as a 10-year-old.

“It was a rude awakening to adult life,” he said.

The writer and director Hagai Levi saw it as a teenager, on Israeli public television, during a stint on a kibbutz. “I was shocked,” he said. The series taught him that a television series could be radical, that it could be art. When he created “BeTipul,” the Israeli precursor to “In Treatment,” he used “Scenes” as proof of the concept “that two people can talk for an hour and it can work,” Levi said. (Strangely, “Scenes” also inspired the prime-time soap “Dallas.”)

So when Daniel Bergman, Ingmar Bergman’s youngest son, approached Levi about a remake, he was immediately interested.

But the project languished, in part because loving a show isn’t reason enough to adapt it. Divorce is common now — in Sweden, and elsewhere — and the relationship politics of the original series, in which the male character deserts his wife and young children for an academic post, haven’t aged particularly well.

Then about two years ago, Levi had a revelation. He would swap the gender roles. A woman who leaves her marriage and child in pursuit of freedom (with a very hot Israeli entrepreneur in place of a visiting professorship) might still provoke conversation and interest.

So the Marianne and Johan of the original became Mira and Jonathan, with a Boston suburb (re-created in a warehouse just north of New York City), stepping in for the Stockholm of the original. Jonathan remains an academic though Mira, a lawyer in the original, is now a businesswoman who out-earns him.

Casting began in early 2020. After Isaac met with Levi, he wrote to Chastain to tell her about the project. She wasn’t available. The producers cast Michelle Williams. But the pandemic reshuffled everyone’s schedules. When production was ready to resume, Williams was no longer free. Chastain was. “That was for me the most amazing miracle,” Levi said.

Isaac and Chastain met in the early 2000s at Juilliard. He was in his first year; she, in her third. He first saw her in a scene from a classical tragedy, slapping men in the face as Helen of Troy. He was friendly with her then-boyfriend, and they soon became friends themselves, bonding through the shared trauma of an acting curriculum designed to break its students down and then build them back up again. Isaac remembered her as “a real force of nature and solid, completely solid, with an incredible amount of integrity,” he said.

In the next window, Chastain blushed. “He was super talented,” she said. “But talented in a way that wasn’t expected, that’s challenging and pushing against constructs and ideas.” She introduced him to her manager, and they celebrated each other’s early successes and went to each other’s premieres. (A few of those photos are used in “Scenes From a Marriage” as set dressing.)

In 2013, Chastain was cast in J.C. Chandor’s “A Most Violent Year,”opposite Javier Bardem. When Bardem dropped out, Chastain campaigned for Isaac to have the role. Weeks before shooting, they began to meet, fleshing out the back story of their characters — a husband and wife trying to corner the heating oil market in 1981 New York — the details of the marriage, business, life.

It was their first time working together, and each felt a bond that went deeper than a parallel education and approach. “Something connects us that’s stronger than any ideas of character or story or any of that,” Isaac said. “There’s something else that’s more about like, a shared existence.”

Chandor noticed how they would support each other on set, and challenge each other, too, giving each other the freedom to take the characters’ relationship to dark and dangerous places. “They have this innate trust with each other,” Chandor said.

That trust eliminated the need for actorly tricks or shortcuts, in part because they know each other’s tricks too well. Their motto, Isaac said, was, “Let’s figure this [expletive] out together and see what’s the most honest thing we can do.”

Moni Yakim, Juilliard’s celebrated movement instructor, has followed their careers closely and he noted what he called the “magnetism and spiritual connection” that they suggested onscreen in the film.

“It’s a kind of chemistry,” Yakim said. “They can read each other’s mind and you as an audience, you can sense it.”

Telepathy takes work. When they knew that shooting “Scenes From a Marriage” could begin, Chastain bought a copy of “All About Us,” a guided journal for couples, and filled in her sections in character as Mira. Isaac brought it home and showed it to his wife, the filmmaker Elvira Lind.

“She was like, ‘You finally found your match,’” Isaac recalled. “’Someone that is as big of a nerd as you are.’”

The actors rehearsed, with Levi and on their own, talking their way through each long scene, helping each other through the anguished parts. When production had to halt for two weeks, they rehearsed then, too.

Watching these actors work reminded Amy Herzog, a writer and executive producer on the series, of race horses in full gallop. “These are two people who have so much training and skill,” she said. “Because it’s an athletic feat, what they were being asked to do.”

But training and skill and the “All About Us” book hadn’t really prepared them for the emotional impact of actually shooting “Scenes From a Marriage.” Both actors normally compartmentalize when they work, putting up psychic partitions between their roles and themselves. But this time, the partitions weren’t up to code.

“I knew I was in trouble the very first week,” Chastain said.

She couldn’t hide how the scripts affected her, especially from someone who knows her as well as Isaac does. “I just felt so exposed,” she said. “This to me, more than anything I’ve ever worked on, was definitely the most open I’ve ever been.”

“It felt so dangerous,” she said.

I visited the set in February (after multiple Covid-19 tests and health screenings) during a final day of filming. It was the quietest set I had ever seen: The atmosphere was subdued, reverent almost, a crew and a studio space stripped down to only what two actors would need to do the most passionate and demanding work of their careers.

Isaac didn’t know if he would watch the completed series. “It really is the first time ever, where I’ve done something where I’m totally fine never seeing this thing,” he said. “Because I’ve really lived through it. And in some ways I don’t want whatever they decide to put together to change my experience of it, which was just so intense.”

The cameras captured that intensity. Though Chastain isn’t Mira and Isaac isn’t Jonathan, each drew on personal experience — their parents’ marriages, past relationships — in ways they never had. Sometimes work on the show felt like acting, and sometimes the work wasn’t even conscious. There’s a scene in the harrowing fourth episode in which they both lie crumpled on the floor, an identical stress vein bulging in each forehead.

“It’s my go-to move, the throbbing forehead vein,” Isaac said on a follow-up video call last month. Chastain riffed on the joke: “That was our third year at Juilliard, the throb.”

By then, it had been five months since the shoot wrapped. Life had returned to something like normal. Jokes were possible again. Both of them seemed looser, more relaxed. (Isaac had already poured himself one tequila shot and was ready for another.) No one cried.

Chastain had watched the show with her husband. And Isaac, despite his initial reluctance, had watched it, too. It didn’t seem to have changed his experience.

“I’ve never done anything like it,” he said. “And I can’t imagine doing anything like it again.”

###

[flightlessangelwings]

Keep You Safe

Frankie Morales x gn!reader (no y/n)

Word count: 3.9k

Warnings: fluff, pining, mild angst, a shitty ex, a break in, brief panic attack (not overly detailed), protective!Frankie, bed sharing, happy ending

Notes: This sat drafted for weeks cause I just kept picking at it and I think I’m finally happy with it so I hope y’all enjoy it! Thanks to my wonderful partner @we-can-be-himbos​ for beta reading for me!

~

The little dive bar was full of noise and life. You stood around a high top with your brother, Santiago, and your shared friends Will, Benny, and Frankie. Technically Santi was your step brother; your parents married when you both were young, but you two grew up together and he never treated you like anything other than a sibling. He was always very protective of you and always looked after you even well into adulthood. The two of you even lived together in a shared little house since he was away a lot for his job.

You all gathered together because it was Santiago’s last night before he left for his deployment. It was always tradition before any of the guys left to have a night out as a send off, and you loved when you and the boys all got together. You were fond of the Miller brothers, but you had a special place in your heart for Frankie Morales. 

Frankie captivated you ever since the day you first met all those years ago. You hid it as best you could, but you couldn’t help the way your eyes lingered on him for just a moment too long or the way your heart flipped in your chest whenever he laughed. And whenever you weren’t looking, Frankie’s eyes trailed down your figure as he shifted in his boots. He always smirked at your effortless charm that drew him in from the get-go.

There was an undeniable attraction between you and Frankie, and the rest of the guys could definitely sense it. Yet, no one said anything. Perhaps no one wanted to be the one to tell Santiago that you were interested in his best friend. Or maybe they wanted you and Frankie to come together on your own without more than a gentle nudge from the rest of the group. 

But what no one knew was that you and Frankie did hook up once. It was a couple of months ago after a night out at the bar, much like this one, and Frankie had offered to take you home. Santi had already left with a random person he had been making eyes at all night and trusted your safety with Frankie. One thing led to another and you ended up naked in his bed after several orgasms. The two of you agreed to never mention that night again, although it was always on your mind.

You had no idea that it was always on Frankie’s mind as well.

Glasses clinked as you and the boys all cheered to Santiago’s health and wished him luck on his mission. He would be gone for several months: the longest he would be away. You all chattered and laughed as you shared memories of good times. Benny let out a loud cackle and rested his hand on your shoulder as you told an embarrassing story about Santiago from your childhood and Frankie couldn’t help the way he frowned slightly. He wasn’t a jealous person, but he wished that he could be so casual in his touches with you as the others were.

“Hey Fish,” Santiago’s voice shook Frankie from his thoughts, “Can I talk to you for a second?”

Frankie nodded as he finished his beer before he followed Santi to a quiet corner of the bar.

You watched the two men walk away with furrowed brows, “What's that about?” you asked as you took a sip of your drink.

“I bet he’s telling Fish to make sure Benny keeps his hands off of you,” Will joked, which made you burst into laughter as Benny gave him an exaggerated pout.

Santi and Frankie looked to be deep in conversation and they both had serious looks on their faces. You didn’t bother to try to eavesdrop, since the bar was too loud and you settled for just watching their interaction from a distance. But you were soon distracted when you felt another pair of eyes on you. A chill ran down your spine as you casually leaned back and tried to find the source.

On the other end of the bar you swore you saw Casey, your ex. His face disappeared into the crowd before you could be sure, but even just the thought made you uneasy. Things did not end well with Casey; he was very overbearing and made you uncomfortable with how possessive he was. Even after you ended your relationship with him, you found that he would pop up sometimes whenever you were out like he was following you. 

You shuffled closer to Will and Benny as you rejoined the conversation and tried to put your ex’s face out of your mind. The boys didn’t seem to notice anything out of the ordinary and you convinced yourself that it was just your imagination as you put a soft smile back on your face.

The other two came back to the table within a few minutes, and you and Santi left the bar shortly after that. His flight was early the next morning and you wanted to get some sleep before you drove him to the airport. Even as you left with your brother, you still felt those ice cold eyes on you, but you didn’t say anything to Santiago.

Your little one story house you shared with your brother was cute and cozy, and was just enough for the two of you. You each had your own bedrooms and separate bathrooms, which was a must when you were house hunting. The car was quiet as he drove the two of you home, and though Santi usually pressed you about what was on your mind, he chose to stay quiet this time. 

“What time do we need to leave, Santi?” you asked though the wall as you got ready for bed.

“Six,” he shouted back.

Fuck, that was so early. But you always liked to be the one to take him to the airport whenever he left for assignments, so you sucked it up for one morning. You could always come right back home and go back to bed anyway. After you said your goodnights, you slipped into bed where you fell asleep quicker than you expected to with how full your head was.

But you didn’t stay asleep.

A loud bang at the front door jolted you awake and you scrambled out of bed to duck down onto the floor like your brother had taught you to. The noise must have woken Santiago up as well because you heard him shout your name as he told you to stay in your room. You heard an argument and you recognized the other voice anywhere: Casey. You gasped as you realized that was actually him at the bar and he must have followed you home.

You cracked your door open just enough to see into the living room where Santiago was locked in a heated argument with your ex. Panic raced through your veins as you fell back onto the floor. You didn’t even register that Santiago came back and was right in front of you. His hands were on your shoulders as he shook you gently to get you out of your head. It wasn’t until the third time he said your name that you came back to the present.

“Hey, hey,” Santi used as calming a voice as he could, “He’s gone.” He was just as frightened as you were, and he was ready to defend and protect you. Santi watched you in your relationship with him and he didn’t like the way the guy treated you at all. You were the only family he had left, and he would do anything for you, “You ok?”

You swallowed hard as you nodded weakly, “I’m ok,” you took in a big breath to steady yourself, “It was Casey wasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he grit his teeth, clearly annoyed, “But you’re ok,” he pulled you in for a hug, “We’re ok,” Santi repeated.

You trembled but your brother’s embrace was calming, and the two of you stayed like that for several minutes, “I don’t think I can go back to sleep now.”

He let out a short laugh, “Me either,” he broke away to take a look at your face, “How about some coffee?”

“I don’t wanna stay here…” your voice was weak.

Santi nodded in understanding, “There’s a 24 hour diner, how about we load up the car and go there?”

Instead of leaving at six in the morning, you and your brother walked out of the door around 4:30. Santi tossed his bags in the backseat and offered to drive, but you insisted you could. You needed something to focus your mind. The two of you were the only ones at the diner save for the couple of workers, and you sat at the booth in silence for some time with a pot of coffee on the table between you.

“Go to Frankie’s,” Santi finally broke the silence. He desperately wanted to do something to help you, but he had no idea what.

“What?” you barely heard his voice, too lost in your thoughts.

“I don’t want you home alone after I leave,” he explained, “Go to Frankie’s for now and tell him what happened.”

You winced, you didn’t want to have to relive what happened in your head as you told the story to someone else. Even if it was Frankie. “Alright…”

“Hey,” he laid a hand on top of where yours laid on the table to get you to meet his gaze, “You know I’d stay if I could.”

“I know,” you sighed. You were quiet again for a moment before you changed the subject with a question that had been on your mind, “What did you say to Frankie at the bar last night?”

Santi grinned, “I asked him to take care of you while I’m gone. Because I know he will.” Frankie was the person that he trusted the most, and Santi could tell how much he cared about you. Frankie even confided in him how much he didn’t like Casey and how much he worried for you. If anyone would do anything to protect his family while he was gone, it was Frankie. 

You frowned, “He told you we slept together didn’t he?”

“Nope,” the shit-eating grin that came across Santi’s face was priceless as he leaned back in the booth, “But you just did.”

You sighed dramatically as you buried your face in your hands and collapsed onto the table, “Dammit Santi…” but you also couldn’t help but giggle when you heard his laughter. 

As the sun started to rise on the horizon, the two of you decided to leave for the airport. The talk with your brother and the several pots of coffee helped to ease your nerves, but you still fell quiet again as you drove. Usually, the car ride to the airport was full of chatter, but not today. And Santi hated that he had to leave right after something like this happened, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Santiago bid you goodbye with a tight embrace as you dropped him off at the terminal, and he made you promise to go to Frankie’s. You assured him that you would go straight there, even if it was still ungodly early in the morning. As you watched him walk through the doors and disappear into the small crowd, your heart fluttered as you thought about your next destination. 

It wasn’t that you meant to avoid Frankie since the night you slept with him. You just didn’t know what to do from there, so you only hung out with him in a group with the guys. Of course, you ended up spending most of your time talking to him anyway. There was just something about Frankie that you could not stay away from, no matter how hard you tried.

The sun shone brightly in the sky for how early it was as you drove over to Frankie’s house. You held your breath as you knocked at his door and hoped that he wouldn’t be mad that you woke him up. But, your breath caught in your throat when he answered the door in nothing but a pair of sweatpants that hung how on his hips. You had seen him naked before, but the sight before you literally knocked the wind out of you.

You temporarily forgot about everything that had plagued your mind for the past couple hours as you stood awestruck at Frankie’s front door. It took you several moments to even notice the grimace on his face as you obviously had woken him up.

But Frankie wasn’t mad; he could never be mad at you. He said your name to snap you out of your thoughts, and he couldn’t help the small chuckle at the way you looked at him. If he was honest with himself, Frankie would have liked to ask you out on an actual date after you two hooked up. But, you came up with the arrangement to keep your relationship under wraps for now before he could. 

“What are you doing here so early?” he asked in a groggy voice, “Everything alright?”

“I’m sorry, I know it’s early,” a heavy sigh escaped your lips as the memories of earlier this morning flooded back, “Can… Can I come in?”

Frankie stepped aside and extended an arm to lead you in, “Of course,” he couldn’t hide the concern in his voice. Obviously something was wrong, and he immediately worried about you. “Did something happen? Everything good with Pope?”

You bit your lip and nodded, “Yeah, he’s on his flight. He’s good,” you sat down on Frankie’s couch and you couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the eyes as he gently sat down next to you.

His eyes bore into your figure as he asked the silent question in concern for you. Frankie carefully placed a hand on your thigh and gave it a soft squeeze to get you to look at him. The way he looked at you made you melt, and you couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“Casey came by early this morning,” you blurted out, “And he and Santi got into it.”

“What?!” Frankie immediately went on high alert as questions poured from his mouth and he wrapped his arms around you without a second thought.

“I’m ok, I’m ok,” you reassured him as you leaned into his embrace, “Santi told him off.” You felt Frankie tighten his grip on you and you swore you heard a growl from deep in his throat, “I just… I don’t know what to do now.” Frankie was the one person you confided to about how nervous Casey made you, and how you thought you had seen him pop up whenever you were out.

“You can stay here,” he said without hesitation, “As long as you want.”

You let out a deep breath. Frankie only had one bedroom, so that either meant you would share a bed with him or you would be just a few feet away on the couch. Either way, you knew what staying the night with him would most likely lead to, and though you wanted that more than anything else in the world, you were hesitant. You weren’t even sure why you were; obviously your brother was more than ok with the idea of you and Frankie together. Maybe you were too afraid to face your own feelings for him.

“I don’t want to impose,” you finally said, “Besides, I hate feeling like I’m scared out of my own house.”

Frankie was quiet for several moments. You were stronger than you gave yourself credit for, and you were stubborn to boot. Then, he had an idea, “How about this,” he started, “I’ll take you to get a new security system and an extra deadbolt for your door,” he stared at your for a moment before he told you the last part of his plan, “And I’ll stay over with you tonight.”

You didn’t need much time before you agreed to his plan, and you spent the entire day with Frankie. He packed himself an overnight bag and followed you in his car to your house to drop it off before he drove you to the store. He could tell that you were still uneasy, so he made a fun day of it and treated you to lunch as well.

The stresses of earlier in the morning melted away the longer you were with Frankie, and you were happy that you went to him. You had always felt comfortable with Frankie, even from the day you first met. And Frankie felt a connection and attraction to you right away as well. He would do anything to protect you, and he cared about you more than he could express with words. 

By the evening, Frankie had installed the new security system and extra locks and you had cooked him a big dinner as a thank you. As the two of you talked for hours, you felt more and more relaxed and the events of earlier this morning were pushed to the back of your mind. That was, until it came time to head to sleep.

“I’ll take the couch,” Frankie offered.

You stood in the living room as you fiddled with your fingers nervously. You didn’t want him to have to sleep on the couch, and you spoke before your mind caught up to your mouth, “Stay with me.”

Frankie stood dumbfounded as he stared at you, “What?”

“You… You can stay in my room. With me,” the last two words were just a whisper as you dropped your gaze down to the floor, “Please?”

A soft grin came across Frankie’s face; he couldn’t say no to you, especially when you asked like that, “Ok,” his voice was just as hushed as yours. 

The tension could be cut with a knife as the two of you settled into your bed. Luckily, it was big enough to fit you both, and as you laid on your side with your back to him, you found that you wanted nothing more than to turn over and nuzzle into his arms. And Frankie had to wrap his arms around his torso to keep from reaching out to you.

You didn’t know how long you laid next to Frankie, but you were sure he wasn’t asleep yet. Without a word, you gave in to your feelings and you rolled over and wrapped your arms around his waist and nuzzled into his back. You heard him gasp softly as he tensed for a moment before he also turned over so he could wrap his arms around you. Frankie pulled you in as close as he could and held you tightly and you smiled into his skin as you rested your head on his chest.

Everything felt right like this, and you would have fallen asleep if it weren’t for the way his heart pounded in his chest. You shifted so that you could look up at him, and the movement made him open his eyes. The two of you stared into each other’s eyes for several long moments before you hauled yourself up slowly and inched closer and closer to his face.

Frankie’s eyes never left yours, except to glance down at your lips once for a brief moment. He breathed your name as he gripped onto you tighter, as if he was afraid to let you go. Your eyes darted down to his own lips for a second before you closed the rest of the gap and placed a tender, soft kiss. He sighed into the kiss and held you as tightly as he possibly could.

He was about to deepen the kiss when a loud crash made both of you jump in surprise. There was a rattle and pounding at your front door, and you immediately panicked. Frankie, however, was quick to jump into action.

“You're ok, You’re ok,” he cupped your face and softened his expression for a moment, “Stay here. Lock your door,” he ordered before he grabbed something from his overnight bag and darted out of your bedroom.

Your hands shook as you did as you were told and quickly locked your door and scrambled back to the floor next to your bed. The sounds were muffled, but you could hear a fight just outside the door. Tears filled your eyes as you hoped that Frankie was ok, and your heart beat rapidly in your chest as you thought about how he did not hesitate for a second to jump in and protect you.

Then, everything got quiet and all you could hear was the sound of footsteps running away. You strained to listen and crawled over halfway to your door. You heard the sound of footsteps followed by running water from the sink before Frankie’s voice rang through the door.

“Baby, it’s me. It’s ok,” his voice was surprisingly calm and soothing, and you immediately jumped up and ran to unlock your bedroom door.

Frankie met you on the other side and you wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly. Your shoulders shook as you sobbed into his chest, and you let out a deep breath when he hugged you back just as tightly.

“Shhh, it’s ok. You’re ok,” he stroked your back in a soothing manner as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, “I got you. You’re safe.”

“Frankie…” you breathed as you pulled back enough to look at his face, “Are you ok?” you cupped his cheek with one hand as you clung to his shirt with the other.

He smiled at you, “I’m fine,” he paused as he just gazed into your eyes, “He tried to get away, but your neighbor heard us fight and came out to keep him down,” Frankie kept a tight grip on you as he spoke, “Casey won’t bother you ever again. I promise.”

“Thank you, Frankie,” your voice was so quiet that you weren’t sure if he heard you as you dropped the hand that cupped his cheek down to his chest. You were silent again as you stayed securely in his arms, “Frankie I…”

He cut you off with a chaste kiss. Unlike when you kissed him in your bed, this one was more intense and full of passion. It was a desperate kiss, as if he used it to make sure you were actually here and ok. Frankie did not regret beating your ex up for you; he’d do anything to keep you safe. He kissed you for what felt like hours before he finally broke away for air.

“I know baby,” he murmured against your lips, “Me too,” he kissed you again, much more slowly this time. You weren’t going anywhere this time, and he had all the time in the world now to be with you. 

“Pope gonna be ok with this?” he asked with a laugh when he broke away again.

“I’ll handle my brother,” you joined in his laughter, “But he’s ok with it, trust me.”

Frankie gave you a look that said you had explaining to do later, but for now he just wanted to enjoy and relish the time with you and keep you safe in his arms.

[welcome-to-green-hills]

Sonic the Hedgehog Movie 2: POTENTIAL TEST SCREENING

 A couple weeks ago, a Reddit User under the name “Madethis4Sonicmovie2” created a post discussing their test screening experiences on the second Sonic the Hedgehog film. Throughout the discussion post, the Reddit user explains that they are not a Sonic fan. Most of what the user writes was how they’ve interpreted the scene and their understanding of the lore through some games that they’ve played. That, and they also try to compare some of the scenes to DBZ, a franchise that they’re much more familiar with. The user also make it a point to state that they view themselves as a “harsh critic,” though do apologize for it. They’re also not used to critiquing children’s media, which they also state a few times in their post. If they’re not clear on what they saw in their test screening, they ask for the reference meaning to the Sonic Community. The Reddit user also says that they did see the first film and greatly enjoyed the second one better.

Even though they believed for the film to be a generic kid’s film, they believe that this film will appeal to fans and non-fans more than the first one did. 

There wasn’t much of a summary to go other than reading about the emotions and some of the trivia that they’ve seen. Most of the film was still in its post-production stage. Some scenes were not complete while others needed tweaking on lighting and shading on the CGI characters. The overall impression that they’ve received from the film was that it was very enjoyable with much more world building. Because it’s done a good job with explaining certain scenarios to the audience, the Reddit user believes that it wouldn’t be hard for outsiders of the fandom to understand. The only thing that some audience members would struggle with in the film were the inside jokes that long-term fans would understand.

With this in mind, this is what the Reddit post detailed. Keep in mind that these are spoilers.

Key Notes:

The moral of the movie is “if you believe in yourself, then anything is possible!” On a side note, the Reddit user believes that this theme applied more to Tails rather than Sonic, stating that Tails has a moment where he gains enough courage to help Sonic fight.

Though the Reddit user does debate that Sonic has more confidence in himself than he did in the first film. He’s still the “Sonic” seen in the first film, him being a kid, but he’s learning to understand the role of being a superhero.

There is placeholder music and licensed music in the film as well. No mention so far of Crush 40 appearing in the film.

The Reddit user explains that Jim Carrey nailed the role! They also explain that Dr. Robotnik is a complete maniac.

(This is an open definition to viewers. It could range from comical to something darker).

Dr. Robotnik invents a teleportation device.

Dr. Robotnik also dresses in black clothing like he did in the first film.

The Reddit user supports this remark by detailing a scene where Dr. Robotnik loses his cool a bit when returning to Earth and complains about how he was outsmarted by a “rejected Dr. Seuss character.”

Dr. Robotnik does create Badniks and references them as “Badniks.”

The Reddit user gave the example of the motorbug looking like a motorcycle with a ladybug exterior. Buzzbombers look more like wasps.

There is a “robot version of Eggman.” 

Metal Sonic does not make an appearance. The Reddit user does believe that G.U.N. may have hinted that they’re building Metal Sonic.

It’s also important to note that there were no mentions of Silver and AmyRose in their screening.

There are heavy nods to Sonic Lore, specifically with the echidna tribes. Most of the lore is explained in either flashbacks and/or with echidna lore.

Most of the time is spent on Earth, but we do see other planets. Sonic and Tails do travel all around the world.

The Reddit user also says that we see more of Sonic’s world when Dr. Robotnik tries to teleport back to Earth.

There are heavy nods to both inside and outside references of the Sonic Franchise. Due to their experiences with the franchise, they inform other Reddit users that they couldn’t share and explains all of the references.

However, they were very happy with Sonic fans when hearing their feedback and learning what some references are.

At this time, the voice actor/actress for Tails is still undetermined. The Reddit user said “it was like Tom Holland, but with a higher-pitched voice.”

Sonic makes a remark saying, “You’re too slow!”

Sonic makes a remark saying, “I’m not a rat! I’m a hedgehog!”

Knuckles makes a remark saying, “Knock, knock scrambled egg.”

(The Reddit user explains that this scene in the movie was also very enjoyable).

Sonic and Tails bond over how they know Longclaw in the film. The Reddit user explains that this is their favorite scene in the movie.

Knuckles has an American-like accent, not a British one.

Sonic encounters Tails on a run, but “freaks out” when he sees another alien creature like him. Sonic also freaks out when he sees that Tails can almost match his speed while running.

There is a funny scene of Sonic enjoying his alone time at home, even showing a montage of all the things that he shouldn’t do when Tom and Maddie are at home.

(Think of the montage scene from Home Alone (1990′s).

The Reddit user explains that Knuckles was exiled from the clan for freeing Longclaw as a prank with friends.

There is an artist in the movie that tries to draw Sonic. To Sonic’s discovery, he sees that the artist drew his 2019 design and plays “Gangster’s Paradise” on the radio.

The Reddit user states that they believe that this is the crew’s nod to the original design.

The Reddit user says that there were scenes in the movie that they felt like were more of a placeholder in the film. The reference to Gremlin Sonic being one of these scenes.

Tom and Maddie do go to Rachel and Randall’s wedding.

There are several action scenes, but the Reddit user explains that the most enjoyable ones are when Sonic and Tails fight Knuckles a couple of times.

And with the action scenes, there are many Quicksilver references that Sonic does as well.

On top of that, the Reddit user explains that each character has their own unique abilities. (For example, Sonic is associated with having powers cater to the element of lightning).

Longclaw is alive in the film, but she’s aged and weak.

Longclaw sends Tails to Earth to retrieve Sonic due to her wanting him to safe.

Sonic stays at home on planet Earth, but is supplied with many rings to travel back and forth to visit Knuckles Tails, and Longclaw.

Sonic being a living chaos emerald could be true, but the Reddit user explains that an emerald was sealed inside of Sonic after being born.

Chaos emeralds are not referenced as “Chaos Emeralds” in the film, they were referenced as just “emeralds.”

However, the Reddit user does recap that there might be a name and they didn’t catch it.

Super Sonic is not referenced as “Super Sonic” in the film, but as something else.

Super Sonic can fly in the film and doesn’t need all seven Chaos Emeralds to go “super.”

Sonic references Tails as “Miles” a few times that they meet, but later gives him the nickname “Tails.”

There is a post-credit scene. The Reddit user believes that it’s a heavy nod to Shadow the Hedgehog due to the there being multiple clones modeled like Sonic that G.U.N. has made.

Due to this post-credit scene, the Reddit user holds hopes that there will be a third movie soon.

As of now, the Reddit post is still available for you to read. The Reddit user is mindful of the NDA and purposely phrased some of their spoilers to be vague, but knows that their thread may be removed soon. I know that these may sound fake, however, there have been individuals in the past who have viewed the first film and proved to be right. Like many of you, I hope that this is a real but I will remain cautious. If these facts resurface as being false, let’s not attack the individual. The only that should matter is that we’re excited for the second film. Be mindful that they’re a human being as well. Treat others the way that you would like to be treated.

What are all of your thoughts so far of the film? Share your thoughts and opinions! And if you’ve spotted something that I’ve missed, please share with me! I’m very excited to know!

((SOURCE)).

[bestiesenpai]

Inamorata - Sukuna

You have no idea how much I like this idea lol ya know the meme ‘i got a boyfriend, yeah he kills people he’s crazy’ this is exactly what went through my head with this. Femme reader, I went for a...Sukuna is his own person and not attached to Itadori kind of thing? Like just a stand-alone demon. I had probably way too much fun writing this and would be down to write more for this concept

Content warnings: killing/murder/homicide choose your preferred noun, a little yandere?, size difference and Sukuna is in his four armed form, uhmm there’s a knife(main use to cut open readers palm in the beginning) and also licking blood from said wound, violence/gore at the end

Apparently there was a demon on the loose. From what you’d read on online forums and heard through the whispers of older people on the train, there was a foreboding presence terrorizing the city, preying on the weak and helpless and hoping to take over the world.

There were blurry photos and horrible sketches of what the creature supposedly looked like and the form it took, but none of them seemed to match up. The tattoos on the face and body were always off, the amount of muscle and the stature of the creature were all different depending on who you went to.

Which is why you decided, against all better judgement, to go looking for him. All the stories you’d heard about the demon, the kind of creature it was centuries ago in its prime, had intrigued you. With the mystique and terror surrounding this demon, you’d be a fool not to try and get a peek for yourself.

At first you’d tried a summoning circle, clearing a large space in your bedroom and drawing intricate patterns on the floor in hopes of his arrival. That method quickly turned futile as no demon ever came - but now you probably had a few ghosts watching you sleep at night.

The second method was to try and make a pact with the devil himself, slicing open your palm and dripping blood onto the pages of old scriptures. Attempting to sell your soul had worked even less than the first method and all you had to show for it was a bandage around your hand for two weeks.

“I’ll definitely see him now.” You mumbled to yourself, walking straight to where the demon was seen most: the red light district. Walking past bright neon signs and nearly naked women in shop windows, you took a peek into every alleyway you came across.

“Hey pretty lady, what’re you looking for?” A rough, scratchy voice sounded behind you as you walked past the umpteenth alleyway of the night.

“What do you think?” Not looking over your shoulder, you kept walking. The voice, while sounding absolutely disgusting, didn’t belong to a demon and therefore not worth your time.

“I think you’re looking for trouble.” Curling his fingers around your arm, the man you were trying to ignore snatched you back, making you stumble and fall into his chest. The nasty scent of body odor and cigarettes was wafting off the man, making you worry that his stench would cling to you for days.

“Not the kind you’re talking about.” Pushing away from him, you furiously wiped off your clothes. Looking this man in the face irritated you, he was wasting his time and you knew exactly what his intentions were.

“Don’t play so hard to get!” Forcing a less than charming smile on his face, the man made the move to grab you again.

“Don’t touch me!” Slapping his hands away, you took generous steps back from him. “You’re getting in the way of my search.”

“Search?” Quirking a brow at you, the man took a moment to think before his brows rose in surprise. “You’re looking for Sukuna, aren’t you?”

“That’s his name?” You’d never heard his name before, only seeing some people refer to him as a four armed creature from hell.

“Yup, and I’ve seen him a couple times.” Crossing his arms over his chest, the man smirked triumphantly. “You could say he and I have a kind of friendly relationship.”

“Do you now?” Your eyes trailed up from the man to the dark alleyway behind him where two glowing red eyes emerged.

“Oh yeah, Sukuna’s a great guy! Even offered to give me a position in his little army.” The more he spoke the brighter the eyes got and the fuzzy outline of a gigantic body was starting to take shape.

“His little army?” Slowly taking steps back as the figure came forward, you barely had time to react before the man was snatched up by two giant hands and yanked backwards. Lifting him into the air, it wasn’t long before a mouth with gleaming sharp teeth opened up and swallowed him whole.

As the eyes drew their attention back to you, a nervous laugh left your chest that you couldn’t force to stop. Every step you took back was now accompanied by a step forward from the creature until it fully left the alleyway and you saw exactly what you were dealing with.

Right in front of you, in full form and glory, was the demon you’d been searching for. The scrawling black tattoos along his entire body, the four arms, pink hair, second set of eyes and his impossibly muscular physique - all of it was exactly like you’d been hoping for.

“Hello, pretty little thing.” His voice boomed despite being relatively quiet, a slight echo to the deep timbre. It was almost melodic in a way, somehow soothing your racing heart just slightly.

“S-sukuna?” You squeaked out, back meeting the brick wall of a building.

“That would be me.” Chuckling as he stopped a few feet from you, Sukuna crossed his secondary arms and looked down upon you. The sheer height and width of his body easily dwarfed yours, your head only barely reaching his ribcage.

Your eyes couldn’t stay in one place as you looked at Sukuna. There was too much to take in and you could feel yourself quickly becoming overwhelmed trying to commit every detail to memory.

“You’re…” Licking your lips nervously, you could only meet his eyes for a moment before settling on the mark on his forehead. “You’re wearing womens clothes.” Tied around his waist and hanging off his legs was indeed a womens kimono, a surprising pristine white shade.

“That’s what you decide to say at our first meeting?” An echoing laugh bellowed from him and Sukuna shook his head, running one hand through his hair.

“I-I’m sorry it’s just...they never mentioned it online.” It felt a little silly to be explaining yourself to him when at any moment Sukuna could eat you like he did that man and you would have no way of stopping him.

“Little thing, I have a question for you.” Fixing you with a suddenly sharp stare, Sukuna lowered his brow and bent down, placing two arms above your head and two at your side, trapping you in against the wall with no possible outs.

“Yes?” Pinching your eyes closed, you held your breath as you waited for the inevitable bite of his teeth around.

“Are you scared?” Sukuna whispered, his breath fanning out over the top of your head.

“Yes.” It would be a lie to say no and you had nothing to lose by telling the truth. Sukuna’s eyes bore into you, the weight of his stare physically making your back bow.

“What did you think of me eating that man just now? Was that terrifying for you?”

“No.” Sukuna took a pause at your answer and although you couldn’t see it, his brow furrowed for a fraction of a second.

“What did you feel then? Surely you must have thought it was horrible.”

“N-not really.” Slowly cracking one eye open, you looked up at Sukuna, almost breaking your neck from having to stare directly above you. “I was actually quite happy you did that. He was getting on my nerves.”

The barking laugh that left Sukuna’s mouth made you flinch and throw your hands in the air. It was so loud it seemed to vibrate your entire body and a few windows on the building behind you shook from the force.

“You’re telling me you liked me killing that guy?” Grabbing you by the collar of your shirt, Sukuna held you up in the air, eye level to him. You nodded, pitifully kicking your legs out to try and get back to solid ground. “Aren’t you a messed up little thing?” Still laughing, Sukuna took a proper once over of your body. “Pretty, but messed up.”

“P-please let me go!” You whimpered, hands desperately clutching Sukuna’s to try and not fall out of your clothes and onto the ground.

“What’s wrong? Don’t like how I hold you?” Shaking you for good effect, Sukuna smirked wildly at your scared little squeaks. “Tell me your name.”

“It’s (Y/N)!” Shouting into the air, you felt relief flood into you as Sukuna finally lowered you back to the ground and his hands released you.

“(Y/N)?” Sounding it out on his tongue, Sukuna shrugged to himself. “I like ‘little thing’ better.”

“I’m only little compared to you.” Fixing your clothes, you tried to regain your breath and stop your body from shaking so violently.

“So, what’s a creature like you doing out so late at night here? It’s not safe for a human like you to roam around these parts.”

“I was looking for you.”

“Me? You were looking for me?” Sukuna snorted, waving his hand dismissively at you. “A human like you looking for me? I’ve really seen it all.”

“It’s true!” Pulling out your phone, you quickly showed him all the data you’d compiled on him. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, Sukuna! I did a summoning circle, I’ve looked in hundreds of online forums - I even tried to make a deal with the devil!” Showing him the mark that was still healing on your palm, the fear that was in your body was slowly trickling out and being replaced with- hope? Excitement? It was hard to say, but as Sukuna grasped your hand between two fingers and looked at your palm, it would be wrong to say it was a negative emotion you felt.

“You really did all that for me?” His voice was much softer now but it still sounded like he was mocking you. Smoothing the pad of one finger across your palm, he felt the ridges of your palm and the wound.

“I did. I find you really fascinating and I- I just wanted to learn more about you.” You faltered when he looked at you, a fierce heat overtaking your cheeks at admitting out loud that you’d been looking for a demon because you found him interesting.

“Are you perhaps interested in me?” A smirk tugged one side of Sukuna’s lip up and he chuckled when your expression only grew more flustered. “Oh little thing, you’re more messed up than I thought.”

“Will you tell me more about yourself? Please?” The words tumbled out of your mouth desperately as you let Sukuna stretch out your arm and grasp your hand more firmly. He didn’t answer you or even acknowledge that you’d spoken, instead grazing the tip of one long sharp nail along the line of the cut.

“I find myself liking you more and more, why is that?” Sukuna’s tone sounded like he was addressing himself as he spoke aloud, turning your hand every which way as he kept scraping his nail against your palm. “Were you my lover in the past, back when I reigned as the ruler of this whole land?”

Racking your brain to try and remember any information on Sukuna potentially having a lover, you were ripped back to reality when Sukuna dug his nail into your skin, reopening the cut and making blood flow freely.

“Ow!” You couldn’t yank your arm out of his grasp and you watched in mild horror as Sukuna lowered himself to your hand, letting his tongue hang out of his mouth and drag across your skin. His tongue quickly became coated in dark red blood, his saliva starting to mingle with your blood.

“You taste so familiar, you must have been mine.” Lapping up your blood now, Sukuna didn’t stop until he could tell you were starting to get weak from blood loss. The lower half of his face was now covered in red, smeared across his skin like paint.

“Sukuna, that’s gross.” The mumble slipped from your delirious mind, making him laugh as he waved a hand over the cut and made it go away. Slipping your hand from his grasp it was like there had never been a mark there in the first place.

“A human telling me what’s gross?” Licking his face clean, Sukuna grinned down at you. The longer he looked at you the longer memories of a past you returned to his mind. The irresistible draw he felt to come to you tonight had been the same one that called to him centuries ago, making you the center of his otherwise cruel and empty world.

Placing two hands on the wall behind you, Sukuna leaned over you once more, this time grasping your chin and turning your face up to him. The saliva that had mixed with your blood had also given you new memories of the past as well, and as you looked at Sukuna you remembered all the things the two of you had done together.

“So, my pet, what shall we do first?”

Sukuna ended up carrying you home, having you tucked inside his kimono as he leaped on rooftops across the city. Opening your bedroom window, Sukuna shoved his body through, having to make himself slightly smaller to fit inside the house.

“Are you uh, hungry?” Standing awkwardly in the middle of your bedroom as Sukuna sat on your bed, you weren’t quite sure what to do now.

“I could eat.” Laying fully back on your bed, it creaked and groaned as Sukuna rested his weight on it. The thought of offering to take him to the kitchen came and went quickly in your head; just getting him into your room was a hard enough task.

Fixing him and yourself a quick meal, as soon as you were done eating Sukuna picked you up and rested you on his abdomen. Even after shrinking himself down your legs were still stretched as wide as possible in hopes of wrapping around his waist.

“As the memories of you return, I realize how much I’ve missed you, my pretty little thing.” Petting down your back, Sukuna looked at you fondly. Propped up on two of his arms, he could stare directly at your tiny body sitting atop him.

“What kind of memories do you have?” So far, the only thing you could seem to recall were memories of a more sexual nature. One’s of you and Sukuna wrapped up in each other's arms, both of his cocks stuffed inside you as you begged to cum.

“I remember giving you the world, whatever you wanted was yours for the taking.” The look in Sukunas eyes was surprisingly soft and you could feel the love coming out from him.

“Whatever I wanted?” Repeating the words, your mouth hung open slightly at all the possible things you could get.

“The world may exist to serve me, but I exist to serve you.” Fully sitting up, Sukuna held you against him as he leaned down, lips grazing your forehead. “What do you want, (Y/N)? I can get you anything in the world, I can do anything in the world.”

“Kill for me.” The whisper that left your lips was almost too quiet for even yourself to hear. But Sukuna nodded, having heard you perfectly. Your words made his body thrum with excitement and his nerves were on edge.

“Kill for you?” He repeated, kissing you on the forehead. The fingers that held you closely dug into your sides and if Sukuna wasn’t careful he could crush you completely.

“You love me, don’t you?” There was just the slightest hint of worry in your voice. What if you were overestimating your power over Sukuna? He could say no or even kill you himself.

“You have no idea what the things my love for you will do.”

Although it pained him to do so, Sukuna left you once the sun began to rise. He had other things to attend to, temples that worshipped him as a god to visit. Promising to see you once dusk began to settle over the sky, Sukuna leapt from your window and into the horizon.

“You came back.” Even though he swore up and down he’d come back, it still shocked you to see him back on your bed once it hit a certain time of night.

“Of course I did.” Sukuna almost seemed hurt you would question him. Holding out a hand, as soon as you grasped one of his fingers he pulled you to him and nestled your body into his side. “Did you do what I asked?”

“The list is in my pocket.” Before leaving, Sukuna had told you to make a list of all the people you wanted him to kill for you. The list had started out short, just a few people that had hurt you that you couldn’t let go of, and then it grew to others, politicians and corrupt people in the media.

“Quite impressive, little thing.” Reading over the list, Sukuna stood up. “Shall we go then?”

“Go whe-” As Sukuna threw open your bedroom window you were met with a strong gust of wind. “Sukuna, where are we going?” You asked him over the wind in your ears. Putting his upper arms into the sleeves of his kimono, he made sure you were nestled safely inside.

“We’re going to take care of the first person on your list.” Wrapping an arm around you, Sukuna jumped out of the window. Though this wasn’t your first time in this position, you hadn’t been fully cognizant when Sukuna took you home last night. Now, with a head clear and no lack of blood to distract you, you could see the lights of the city clearly as they whipped past you.

“It’s beautiful.” Carefully leaning forward, you gazed at the downtown area with all the flashing lights and swerving cars.

“If you say so.” Patting your hip, Sukuna pulled you back, resting your weight fully on his arm and clothes. He wouldn’t admit it, and despite knowing he would catch you in a millisecond, Sukuna didn’t want you to fall out and fall to the ground.

Coming upon the first persons house, he settled you on the ground outside. You were in a tightly knit residential area standing directly under a streetlight, with rows of houses that all looked similar. In a flash, Sukuna had broken into the house and grabbed the person you were after.

“This them?” With a tight grip on their ankle, Sukuna shook them side to side.

“Mhmm.” You didn’t need to look to know he’d gotten the right person, just the feeling you had around them was enough to confirm it.

“W-what’s going on here?!” They screamed, blood pooling in their head the longer they hung upside down.

“Don’t speak.” Sukuna barked, shaking them once again. “You don’t speak to her, or at all.” The person screamed again, a high pitched sound that quickly got shut off as Sukuna swung their body and smacked them against the ground. “I thought I told you to be quiet.”

For a moment you thought they’d died from how hard Sukuna hit them against the ground, but a small whimper and breathless gasps sounded from where their face was crushed against the pavement.

“Do you know why I’m here?” You whispered, standing over their motionless body. Rolling over onto their back, they shook their head and started to stammer. “If you can’t answer my question I don’t want you to make a sound.” Pressing your foot onto their throat, you flinched when their hands came up to try and claw you away.

“Don’t touch her.” Instantly pinning their arms down, Sukuna glowered. “How would you like me to do it?”

“Let me think.” Staring down into their glassy eyes, a million options went through your mind. Sukuna’s power was limitless, there was nothing he couldn’t do. If you asked him to throw their body into outer space, he would do it in a heartbeat. “Rip them limb from limb. You can eat them if you’d like.”

“As you wish.” A sick grin curled Sukuna’s lip and he drug their body across the ground until they were directly underneath him.

“(Y/N) wait! W-wait please!” Their shrill cries fell on deaf ears, and the sound of the first limb being torn off their body was something you could get used to. “Oh- oh my god, my leg!”

“God I wish you’d shut up.” You kept your eyes on the person's face, refusing to look at where blood squirted generously from their now missing extremity.

“Allow me.” With the swipe of one claw Sukuna gouged out their throat. Hot, bright red blood spilled out onto the pavement, pooling and almost making it to where you stood. Throwing one leg into his mouth, Sukuna used a non-bloody hand to lift you up and place you onto a brick wall.

“Thank you.” Giving him a gentle smile, you now had a front row seat to Sukuna ripping apart this person's body and slowly devouring them. There was a mess of blood coating Sukuna’s skin, far more blood than when he had drunk yours.

As you watched Sukuna eat this person, a sense of satisfaction washed over you. It felt good to get justice in your own way for how this person wronged you. After being told to let it go, try and move and let time heal the wound, you could finally get closure the way you wanted.

“All done?” You asked once the last piece of their body was consumed. Standing up to his full height, Sukuna still looked down at you. The blood on his skin began to sizzle off, evaporating into the air and leaving the pungent smile of iron behind.

“Have I made you happy?” He responded, cupping your face and lightly squishing your cheeks. Smiling proudly, a warm flush washed over your face the longer you and Sukuna looked at each other.

“Yes, very.” Nuzzling into his palm and kissing it, you let out a breathless laugh as Sukuna did the same.

“I’m happy to please you.” Kissing you on the top of the head, Sukuna pulled out the list and crossed out the first name. “Shall we go to the others now?”

[youngbeezer]

hi!! can I please request something?

going to a lake house, maybe friends to lovers with bowen byram?

thank you! 💗.

A/N: HI IM SO SORRY THIS LITERALLY TOOK 4 EVER!!! i was having such bad writer's block with also zero motivation, but i eventually put a little something together and i hope whoever requested this first off actually sees this bc seriously its been a good month of this sitting in my inbox but also i hope you like it :)

Word Count: 2940

Warning(s): kinda angsty in beginning, curse words, ends fluffy !!!

masterlist || join my taglist

These next few days is either going to turn out to be the best week of the summer, or the most awkward week of the summer...

I’m currently stuck in a car surrounded by couples on our way to a lake house in Colorado. Somehow I ended up being lumped into this chaotic group of professional hockey players and their drop-dead gorgeous significant others.

About a year ago at my local salon, I just so happened to be seated right next to a woman named Grace, who I immediately hit it off with. We became fast friends and are now basically inseparable at this point. Her boyfriend just so happens to play hockey for the Colorado Avalanche, Cale Makar. Now I have also grown quite close with Cale as well, since I am always at their shared apartment for Grace. At this point Cale is basically third wheeling us, instead of it being the other way around. Therefore I was also always invited to team parties and get-togethers, which prompted more friendships with most of the guys on the team and their respective partners.

Someone I have surprisingly grown super close with is Bowen Byram. As soon as Cale introduced us two, his blue eyes and raspy voice immediately drew me in. Straight away we bonded over common interests and that night we talked for almost three hours. After that, we were thick as thieves. So thick that recently I have come to the realization that I have caught major feelings for him along the way.

It has only been a few weeks since I have come to this realization and it has already started to affect our relationship. I definitely started to ignore Bowen a little bit when I first figured out my feelings because I was scared he would somehow find out or I would just end up blurting it out at some point. And the last thing I want is for my silly feelings to ruin such a great friendship.

Thus why this week can either turn out to be the best or the worst.

I’ve decided that at some point during this trip I need to confess my feelings for Bowen. He’s also seemed to notice the shift in my attitude towards him. I have become more closed off and not as touchy as we used to be. Bowen and I are both very touchy/feely types of people. So what seemed like just some harmless cuddling and play wrestling with each other, to me did very little to quell down my feelings.

For example, this morning when we were packing up the cars for the trip a group of us are taking to Tyson Jost’s lakehouse, Bowen went to wrap his arms around my middle from the back and I subconsciously flinched away at his touch. I know he definitely noticed my mood shift from the defiant pout that was resting on his face. After that I did what I do best, and ran away to the other car that was driving up and basically begged Nate to switch seats with me.

Which now leads to my current thoughts. The entire car ride up I have been contemplating on ways I could tell him, but each scenario just ended up with him telling me that he doesn’t feel the same, and our friendship essentially being over. Obviously I was just overthinking just a little, but I’ve never been stuck in a situation like this before-- and now we are going to be stuck in a lake house together for an entire week, so I am going to be forced to face this situation whether I want to or not.

“Yo. Earth to y/n?” Tyson draws, trying to gain my attention. I snap out of my thoughts as soon as I hear my name, and bring my gaze to the rearview mirror to meet Tyson’s questioning look. “We’re here.” He announces.

Susanna, Mikko’s girlfriend, adds on, “You alright? You seemed kind of out of it the entire car ride.”

I shake my head to try and clear my thoughts and notice that we are indeed here at the lake house we will be staying at for the next week. I clear my dried up throat before croaking out a weak, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just don’t like long car rides.”

Both of them nod, content with my answer and exit the car to join Mikko in unloading all of the luggage from the trunk. I take a few more moments to fully get my head together after dealing with all my jumbled thoughts throughout the entire three hour car ride.

Jumping out of the car, the first thing I see is Bowen letting out a yawn and stretching out. As his arms raise over his head, some of his shirt rises up with it and immediately my eyes are drawn to the small portion of skin and v-line that is in front of me. Bowen then notices my presence and makes eye contact with me, giving me one of his adorable little smiles. I advert my gaze as quickly as I can so my obvious ogling isn’t as obvious and go to finally retrieve my luggage.

Yeah this was gonna be a long week.

…

After everyone got pretty much all settled into their rooms, we all ended up coming back together to sit around the firepit to chat and enjoy some drinks. For this trip that Tyson orchestrated there are in total ten people staying in the house. Me, Tyson, obviously since it’s his house; Bowen, Cale, Grace, Alex Newhook, Mikko and his girlfriend Susanna, and lastly Nate and his supposed new girl who will be joining us later on in the week.

Apparently a group of the guys and their partners have been taking trips together at the end of the hockey season for a while now, and since growing closer with the team this year, I graciously got an invite.

Since it was getting later and a little bit more chilly, I grabbed a random sweatshirt that I saw already laying around in the living room before making my way outside to join everyone by the firepit. Getting closer I noticed that the only seat available just so happened to be next to Bowen.

Cale and Grace give each other a not so inconspicuous knowing look when they see me approaching. As soon as I sit down, a question is being thrown at me.

“Whose sweatshirt is that y/n?” Cale brings everyone's attention to me with a growing smirk on his face.

“I don’t know, I just found it in the living room.” I give Cale a questioning glare, trying to figure what his endgame is right now.

“It’s mine.” I hear that same raspy voice that I love and know so well. I feel my face start heating up at the idea of wearing Bowen’s sweatshirt. Am I wearing his name on my back right now, and I just didn’t even think to check earlier?

“Oh, uh. Sorry, I can give it back to you, if you want it.” I stumble out, now feeling awkward and a little embarrassed about how flustered I am getting over a simple sweatshirt.

Bowen gives me a little smile before replying back, “Nah, it’s fine. It looks better on you anyway.”

I clear my throat and stumble out an awkward ‘thanks’ at Bowen and then turn my attention to Grace right next to me so I don’t embarrass myself even more. What I don’t see though is the way Bowen's face immediately falls when I turn my back on him.

…

Around midnight is when everyone started to make their way back inside the house to start getting ready for bed. I was mindlessly scrolling through my social media, so I didn’t notice that mostly everyone had already gone inside.

“Y/n.” I look up at the mention of my name to notice that Bowen and I are the only ones left outside.

Also noticing the intense gaze I am receiving from Bowen, I quickly gather my things and stumble out, “Oh my gosh I didn’t notice everyone left already. I should head inside as well.”

Bowen is quicker though because he grabs ahold of my wrist, halting me in place before I make my very obvious escape.

“Hold on, please. Can you please talk to me?” Bowen pleads out.

“What do you mean? We’ve been talking all night.” I countered, trying one last time to get out of this conversation.

“We’ve been talking as a group all night yeah, but you couldn’t even make eye contact with me. You know what I mean. What’s been going on? Did I do something?” Bowen frowned.

At that moment I felt so guilty. I’ve been so focused on trying to ignore my feelings that I have developed that I ended up pushing my best friend away and hurting him in the process. I close my eyes and let out a deep breath. I knew I would eventually have to have this talk with Bowen during this week, but I just didn’t expect it to be on the very first night.

“Okay. Yeah, let’s talk.”

I lead the way down to the dock overlooking the lake and sit down to dangle my feet into the water. I know for a fact that Grace and Cale realized that we both haven’t come in behind them, so they are most likely snooping by the backdoor wondering what we are doing.

Bowen joins me, after slipping his shoes off and dangling his feet in as well.

“What’s been going on y/n?” Bowen asks again.

“I-I think I’m in love with you.” I blurt out. I can feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears as I await any type of response from Bowen. Taking a peek over at him, I see the pure shock on his face. Probably wasn’t the best idea to start off the conversation with that.

Taking his silence as a bad sign, I start spewing out whatever I can to try and calm the anxiety coursing through my veins. “I-I think I have known for a while and I just tried to ignore it, I guess. But then I realized that I was just pushing you away, an-and I never wanted to do that. Our friendship means that absolute world to me, and I would hate myself if anything I did, or-or my stupid feelings jeaporized that.” At some point during my little rant, a few tears escaped. I turn my head away as I try to hold back on a full on sob breaking loose.

“You think?” He eventually breaks the silence.

Confusedly, I turned my head back around and let out a strangled, “Huh?” I see the corners of Bowen’s mouth start curving up into a tiny smile, confusing me even more.

“You said, you think you’re in love with me.” He pointed out.

My eyebrows raise in question and I give him a little shrug, prompting him to elaborate more.

“Well… I’m pretty damn sure I’m in love with you.” Bowen softly declared.

My breath catches in my throat and my mouth turns as dry as the Sahara Desert. Those were definitely not the words I was expecting to come out of his mouth. He chuckles at my surprised face and scooches a little closer to my body to wipe a stray tear on my cheek.

“Are you serious?” I whisper out.

“Of course.” He whispered just as softly back to me as his head inched closer to mine.

My heart pounds in my chest as Bowen’s hand comes up to cradle my cheek. All of our pent up feelings and emotions that we both have been too afraid to admit all come crashing together as our lips finally meet. He kissed me gently, almost carefully, but after all this time gentleness was not what I wanted right now. Bowen let out a low groan as I pulled him flush against my body, my fists bunching up the collar of his shirt.

Before this could go any further, we both pull away breathlessly, basking in what truly just happened-- just now realizing how much our relationship is about to change.

“Fuck.” Bowen breathed out, running his hands over his face. “If I knew that was what it was like to kiss you I would’ve blurted out my feelings the day I met you.”

My ears perk up at his last few words and it seems like he also realizes what he just admitted, as his cheeks immediately turn a rosy color.

“You’ve liked me for that long?” I bashfully question.

Bowen runs his fingers through his hair and blows out a breath of air before answering, “Yeah, I-I mean… yeah I have.” He stumbles out, awkwardly letting out a laugh.

I lean my head on his shoulder and connect our hands, feeling super content and never wanting this moment to end. We take a moment to just sit on the dock-- with our feet hanging in the water, hands intertwined; and bask in the feeling of finally letting our feelings out into the open.

“You know everyone in that house is going to have a field day when they find out.” Bowen mumbles against my shoulder, before leaving a lingering kiss on the exposed skin.

“Oh I wouldn’t be surprised if they all had a bet going or something.” I chimed. I raise my head that had previously been resting on Bowen’s shoulder back up to look at him, and see that he is already smiling at me. “What?” I drawled, feeling my cheeks heating up under his gaze.

“You wanna sleep in my bed tonight?” He asked hesitantly.

My cheeks now feel on fire as I ponder on how I want to go about this. I raise my eyebrows up at him in question as I ponder out, “Do you want me in your bed tonight?”

Bowen gives me an almost incredulous look as he voiced, “Of course I want you in my bed.”

I just give him a simple nod and push my body up in a standing position, reaching out my hand to prompt Bowen to join me. “Okay, let’s go.”

Bowen immediately shoots up from his sitting position, clinging onto my hand as we make our way back up the yard to the sliding glass doors of the lake house. Just as I predicted earlier, Cale and Grace were totally snooping. Actually, the entire house was snooping. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen trying to act casual as we walked in, but as soon as they noticed our conjoined hands, all hell broke loose.

“I fucking knew it!”

“Aw you guys look so cute.”

“Bout time.”

“Ha! Nate, you owe me fifty bucks.”

I looked over at Bowen with an unimpressed look, “Told you they probably had a bet going on.” Meanwhile Bowen has an incredulous look coating his face watching his friends freak out over his newfound relationship. Instead of questioning our oddball friends, Bowen just simply shakes his head, letting out a little chuckle.

“Alright I’m heading up, I can’t deal with these idiots right now.” Bowen gives me a quick peck on the lips before announcing his departure for the night. Most of the others also start making their way up to their respective rooms for bed, the guys putting on a show of making kissy noises and making a few chirps as they follow Bowen up the stairs.

Grace joins me by the counter, making a show of wiggling her eyebrows at me. I’m smiling like an idiot as Cale also joins us, chuckling at my lovesick expression.

“You’re welcome.” Cale smirked.

I scrunch my face up in confusion as I question him back, “For what?”

“For introducing you two, duh.” Cale teased. Grace smacks him on the arm with a tut, making a show of rolling her eyes at her boyfriend. “Alright, seriously I am happy for you guys though.” He eventually relents.

My cheeks heat up from the attention but also from the thought of Bowen and I’s new relationship. Grace grabs me by the shoulders and starts pushing me in the direction of the staircase.

“Obviously I’m happy for you too. All I’ve wanted is the best for you and I think Bowen is just that. And with that being said, go get your mans!” She sends me off with a quick smack on my ass. I giggle the whole way up the stairs on the way into Bowen’s [now our] room feeling extremely giddy and content.

When I enter the room, all the lights except for the bathroom are already off, and it looks like Bowen is already settled into bed. So, I quickly do my night time routine and change into my pajamas before making my way over to the bed I will now be sharing for the week.

Bowen is awaiting me with his arms wide open, which I happily cuddle into the second I am under the covers. He buries his head into my neck, leaving featherlight kisses here and there.

“I love you.” Bowen mumbles into my neck. I card my fingers through his hair and kiss the top of his head as I mumble back those same words, in complete awe over how fast my life has changed in one night. We both knew that we would eventually be together, it just took a little time and a trip to Tyson Jost’s lakehouse for us to figure it out. This week will definitely be one for the books.

Taglist: @barzysandmarnersbitch @handwrittenheroes @hockeyplayerstories @barzy-xoxo @gnemgn @joelsfarabees

Tagging some mutuals as well so this doesnt flop,,,

@2manytabsopen @bb-nhlqueen7 @frederikanderson @simon-edvinsson @coltonndach @carepriceisgoodathockey @lovereadinghockeyy @pettypeteys @kentjohnsons @joekellys @mattybenierss

[miceenscene]

'tis the damn season

frankie/reader | childhood friends to lovers | pre-canon

wc: 1.8k/2.5k

summary: At one point in your lives, you knew Frankie better than anyone else on earth. When did that change?

warnings: none

an: don't let anyone tell you that second person doesn't work from another character's perspective, least of all yourself while editing

Masterpost | ao3

Chapter 2: Who am I Related to?

December 8, 2012 18:57

Hudson’s was a shitty bar just up highway 210 outside of Fort Bragg, the nearest watering hole to the base as the crow flies.

As a result, it served pretty damn near exclusively military personnel. When it changed ownership about four years back, the new management decided to reflect that and so the place looked like the Fourth of July and Top Gun had thrown up on it. Never mind that Fort Bragg was an Army base. Still, they had cheap booze and greasy food that was far better than the commissary, so it was always busy.

Pope had texted the usual suspects a few hours ago that he was heading to Hudson’s that evening, making Frankie immediately ditch his plans of drinking alone for drinking with Pope and whoever else showed up. Most likely just Benny and Ironhead now that Redfly had semi-retired down to Florida. It was a short drive to the bar from the dorms on base, but it was enough to make Frankie groan and press hands to his lower back as he got out of his car and made his way inside.

Pope was sitting at the bar and didn’t look up from texting on his phone as Frankie gingerly eased into the stool next to him.

“Hey, Fish,” Pope said, rereading the email.

“Hey.” At the bartender’s attention, Frankie pointed to Pope’s beer before daring a slight back stretch.

Pope sent his email and then looked over. “You alright?”

“Yeah, just finished PT.”

He chuckled once. “Back still fucked?”

“More tired than fucked anymore,” Frankie managed, shaking his head and wincing. The bartender delivered his beer, and Frankie took a swig. “When did we get old?”

“¿De qué estás hablando ‘nosotros’, viejo?”

Frankie jabbed an elbow and grinned slightly down at his next swig. “Culero.”

“Hey, before everyone gets here–” Pope looked at him, an oddly serious expression on his face for their usual bar. “I found out today you haven’t re-enlisted yet.”

Frankie immediately dropped his gaze to the suddenly very interesting glass in his hand. “Ah, no. No, I haven’t.”

“I’m trying to pull strings to get Benny into our unit full-time. I think he’d fit well with the team. Then Simmons tells me you haven’t signed your new papers yet. So what’s up?”

Frankie glanced over to see Pope still focused on him. “Nothing, nothing. I… I’m still thinking about it.”

He chuckled. “What’s there to think about?”

“We all want out someday, right? If we’re lucky enough to choose when we leave.”

“Yeah, but there’s thinking and thinking.” Pope smacked his shoulder. “What – are you gonna become a real estate agent like Redfly?”

No. Definitely not. Even just the idea of shilling condos was enough to make Frankie’s eyes glaze over. But still–

“Real estate agents make more money than we do.”

Pope made a considering face for a moment then brushed it off. “Yeah, but you’d miss it. You’re like me. We like the rush.”

Frankie nodded slightly. This is why he was still just thinking about it. It wasn’t a small thing to walk away from fourteen years with the Army. Especially since everyone knew the retirement benefits were absolute shit until you hit twenty. But he could already tell, he didn’t have another six years in him. He wasn’t even sure he had another deployment.

“You know the deadline’s New Year’s, right?” Pope said, cutting through his thoughts.

“Yeah, I know. I have some leave I have to take before the year’s out anyway.”

Pope nodded. “Good. Clear your head, get some perspective. See how fucking boring civvy life is, and then come back Jan 2 and join my team.”

Frankie smiled wryly; Pope always could make anything sound easy. “Something like that.”

“You have holiday plans then?” he asked, leaning an elbow on the bar.

Frankie sucked in breath. “I guess I’ll go back to my parents’. My mom’s been wanting me to visit for a while now.”

“How long’s it been?”

“I saw them in DC last summer, but I haven’t been back home… since I joined Delta.”

“Remind me where they’re at.”

“Up north. Little town in the middle of nowhere. Still in the same house I grew up in.” He could picture the wreath on the door, the twinkling lights his dad always strung across the front fence every December. A matching set used to be hung on the fence exactly opposite across the street. Who lived there now, he wondered. Would they put the tree in the front window too?

“Soldier coming home for Christmas. Sounds like a Hallmark movie.”

“Fuck you,” Frankie replied as the others finally arrived.

--

Frankie got his answer as he ducked out the front door of his parent’s house about a week later. His breath immediately fogged as he sucked in a few calming breaths of night air, the pressure in his head slowly levelling. Out in the still darkness, the noise level coming from the living room was finally manageable. Inside, with all of his cousins and his aunts and uncles and the music and everyone talking over each other and the heater set far too high for the number of people inside– he… he just needed a break.

Seven hours was a decent stint for his first day. He’d be around longer tomorrow. Wading in. That was the key. Because he was now the kind of person that had to treat time with his family like running a marathon. Apparently.

He walked down to the twinkling front fence, making a mental note to shovel the front walk tomorrow, and stopped. The house across the street – your house, as it would forever be in his mind – was completely dark. A small sign posted in the front yard announced some sort of home refurbishment company was going to be arriving soon. No doubt they would come in, strip away wallpaper and old tile and heart to paint it all beige and granite for the quick resell.

He hadn’t had the heart to ask his mother yet how long the house hadn’t belonged to your family. No need for another reminder of how much time had passed, how much he’d missed. He had more than enough already.

The front door opened behind him, casting a temporary warm glow across the dark snow, and his dad stepped out, pipe in hand. He meandered down the front steps to join Frankie at the gate, puffing a few times before speaking.

He shook his head. “It’d break his heart to see it so empty, but I understand why she sold,” he said, looking at the forlorn house with him.

“How long ago?” Frankie asked.

“Few months. Not too long after the funeral.” Dad looked his way for a moment. “I’ll give it ten minutes before I tell your mother you left.”

“I… thanks,” he replied weakly.

“Will you be back tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be back.”

Dad nodded slowly, leaving just the pipe smoke wafting between them for a minute. “Take it slow, no need to rush.”

“Thanks.” He stepped through the gate, fishing in his pocket for his car keys.

“Francisco,” he said, making Frankie stop and look at him. “We’re glad you’re back.”

Frankie just nodded and went to his car. Even though he couldn’t bear another minute in the noisy press of his loved ones, the idea of going back to his lonely hotel room was truly abysmal. So after some finagling with the ignition, he started the engine and headed to the one bar he’d ever been to in his hometown.

--

There were Christmas lights in the window and a dancing Santa on the bar as Frankie walked in. Some sort of forcibly cheery holiday classic played over the speakers tucked between quirky memorabilia that hung over every square inch of wall space. And even though public smoking had been outlawed by the state well over a decade ago, cigarette stench had sunk into the very foundation of the place.

It was nothing like Frankie remembered. But it would do.

Eyes automatically sweeping across the moderately busy room for a Thursday night, he headed for a stool at the far end of the bar, ordering a beer when the bartender came by. It was just one step up from swill, but comfortably numbing in its mediocrity. He looked across the room again, checking for familiar faces this time and finding none. No surprise there. A decade was a long time, and really he hadn’t been around too much for the years before that too.

There were couples on dates here, friend groups, some sort of girls’ night happening in the corner, a few loners like him hovering at the bar. Most everyone was smiling, talking, laughing so hard their whole bodies shook. A whole world of Normal. And Frankie was a tourist.

Pope was right. He couldn’t go back to this. He couldn’t make it through one whole day with blood relatives anymore. What was he thinking? That he could just settle into a normal life like the last decade of his work was nothing? Get a 9-to-5 and a mortgage and a girl – not that he’d ever had too much luck in that department. Especially when there was one girl that eclipsed all others, and he didn’t even know her phone number any more.

The door opened, making the Santa on the bar dance, and every thought in Frankie’s head immediately stopped. His eyes drew wide as he stared, jaw barely restrained from slapping against his chest. Was it really – course it was, there wasn’t anyone else it could be. A whole century could pass, and he’d still know that face.

It was you.

Live, in the flesh you. Cheeks pinked from the wind, haloed by the street lights outside, wrapped in a truly astonishing number of woolen layers. Not a half-remembered fantasy, but Real and breathing and even more beautiful than his memory had claimed.

He watched you shake a few flurries out of your hair and stomp the excess snow off your boots, shutting the door behind you as you waved to the bartender. Your gaze swung across the bar, completely skimming past him, and landed on the girls’ night in the corner. You smiled. He stared.

You began to head over to the people you were obviously here to meet. On nothing but pure instinct, he immediately got out of his stool and followed you. Falling into step behind you, he stretched a hand forward to hook a few fingers inside your elbow.

You looked back at him, and for a heart-breaking breath there was no recognition in your eyes.

Till he gave you a half-smile and said, “Hey Bo.”

You blinked, mouth dropping open. “Frankie?” you asked.

He nodded.

Your astonishment ballooned so wide it froze your whole face solid for a moment. Then you laughed, out of far more shock than amusement, and gave him a smile all his own. “Oh my god!! You’re here!”

You immediately wrapped him in a hug. And though it took him a moment to return it, for the first time in ten whole years, he was home.

Chapter 3: Not my Homeland Anymore

taglist: @kelenloth ; @darnitdraco ; @gracie7209 ; @616wilsons ; @icanbeyourjedi ; @astroboots ;

[let-them-read-fics]

The Finer Things

Pairing: Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 4,864

Warnings / Misc. -- Pining, Some Self Doubt, Fluff, Some Angst, Happy Ending

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first time writing for Blackpink. I hope you enjoy. Happy reading, as always! Let me know what you think. 

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Part 1: Partners

“Alright class, settle in now. Today we’ll be starting our new projects. You know the drill; they’ll be a quarter semester long, and you’ll have a partner to work with. That gives you 9 weeks to complete the assignment and be ready to present your creations. Your topic is “the finer things in life”. Remember: there’s no exact way to do this. Whatever that topic means, however you interpret it, just show us what you envision when you think of that. I look forward to seeing what you come up with.”

Unsurprisingly, everyone is rather excited for this project. Considering this class is an elective, your classmates signed up for it knowing what they were getting themselves into. Regardless, even the stray few that enrolled for an easy A would rather do this than Calculus and Statistics. 

Your eyes scan the room, and you smile upon seeing everyone light up as they discuss their game plans. Familiar eyes meet yours from across the room, and you feel a blush begin to rise to your cheeks. You mentally curse yourself at how easy it is for her to make you giddy, but you don’t look away. The small smile that she gives you nearly makes you combust from the cuteness; you can’t help the dorky grin that takes over your features. 

Before you can fully melt under her gaze, your teacher speaks up again. You silently thank the universe for that divine intervention. “Now that you’ve had a minute to brainstorm, it’s time for everyone’s favorite part: partner time! I’ve chosen your partners based on your individual strengths and weaknesses as photographers; I want this to be a true learning experience for all of you. Being an artist takes constant growth, and I see this as the perfect opportunity.” 

Since your class is a fairly close-knit group of students, no one’s upset by who their partners are. Mrs. Johnson continues rattling off the pairs, and you take a moment to look out the window. It’s a beautiful day, the trees swaying gently in the breeze. The vivid red hues of their leaves are complimented perfectly by the bright blue sky behind them.

“...Y/N, you’ll be working with Rosé.” The second those words leave her lips, your eyes shoot to your partner’s. It’s an odd feeling, to put it plainly; those were the words that you were dying to hear, but also terrified of. After all, working so closely with your long-time crush would definitely prove to be nerve racking. You didn’t have much time to worry, though, as Rosé sat down at the desk in front of you, turning the chair around to face you. It was clear that she loved to see what she did to you, your reactions to her words, everything. She studied you like her life depended on it, but you never noticed. Your brain was always too busy short-circuiting to take in the ways that she watched you from afar, remembering every detail, curve, and dimple of your face. 

“So, how about we meet up after school today to get some ideas going?” She proposes, and you nod. “How’s the park sound? I’d hate to miss such a gorgeous day.” Her face lights up at your suggestion, and you smile at the sight. In her excited state, she rushes out, “That’s just what I was thinking!” The two of you spend the rest of class chatting and goofing around, and go your separate ways once the bell rings. You send her one last wave, already missing her presence. To say the two of you are eager for your next meeting is a major understatement.

Part 2: The First Few Meetings

The first couple weeks are spent getting to know one another better and spending more time together -- something you definitely weren’t complaining about. Seeing her out of school, able to really be herself, was a magical experience. You often thanked your lucky stars that you decided to sign up for the class in the first place.

Part 3: You Go To One Of Her Practices

Attending school practices and games was never really your speed, but you made an exception for Rosé. Some family issues had gotten in the way of your meet-ups for a bit, so the two of you were a little behind schedule for the project. You weren’t worried (the honor student in you knew that you’d get it done in time), but Rosé asked you to stay after school for one of her cheerleading practices. “We can work on it everytime coach gives us a break, okay?” She had said earlier that day, during class. You were almost too mesmerized by the way her lips moved while she spoke to comprehend what she had said, her accent popping out in the most adorable way possible. 

The memory brought a light smile to your face, and she saw it, stealing a glance at you. You looked up at her and tilted your head to the side, letting her know she’d been caught. Her eyes widened in shock and she quickly cleared her throat, clearly not expecting that. 

~~~

“Ah, ah, ah,” you protested, blocking her from sitting down in the seat beside you. “Stand in front of me, I wanna take a picture.” She put on a horrified face, looking down at you. “Excuse me?? Absolutely not! I look terrible. I’m all sweaty.” You rolled your eyes at her, letting out a dramatic sigh. “I’m sorry to inform you, Rosé, but you’re physically incapable of looking bad. My condolences.” You bowed your head in mock pity, adding to the effect. “Oh shut up, you dork.” She said, pushing you playfully. “Fine. One picture; you better make it a good one.” You smiled your signature grin at her, and she got a little lightheaded at the beautiful sight. “1, 2, 3…”

Part 3.5: Could It Be?

“Rosé, I don’t know….” You begin, a grimace crossing your face. The object of your affection had spent the past 10 minutes trying to convince you to ditch work and accompany her to the local fair that was in town for the weekend. It’s not that you didn’t want to go; in fact, you can’t think of a place you’d rather be tonight than with her, getting away from the stress of everything life had been throwing at you. If you were honest with yourself, though, the work was just an excuse for something bigger; you knew that with each step closer you got to Rosé, you would eventually be taking two steps back. You had long ago assured yourself that she didn’t share your attraction, and you had done okay in accepting that fact. By okay I mean “totally not at all, even in the slightest.” You liked to pretend, though, wanting to have some semblance of control over the situation. 

“Pleeeeease?” She whined into the phone, drawing the word out to torture you a little more. Surely she had to know what she was doing.

That simple question served as your command, and it became very apparent in that moment that you’d do just about anything that Rosé asked you to. You kicked yourself, a genuine feeling of nervousness rushing over you. 

A sigh left your lips as you responded, “Okay, okay! But only for a little while.”

Her high pitched cheering drew a laugh from you, and you shook your head at her antics. What were you getting yourself into?

~~~~~

Rosé looked stunning, as usual. Her long blonde locks fell elegantly over her shoulders, looking just as soft as always. The pink top she donned complimented her light blue jeans perfectly; if you weren’t so enraptured by her, you might’ve gotten jealous. How can someone look so gorgeous without even trying? It’s infuriating, to say the least. 

“Ready?” Her cheery accent met your ears, and you felt yourself pep up at the single utterance. Dear lord, you’re in deep. Pushing the thoughts from your head, you send her a simple smile and nod, pulling her in for a hug. 

Freezing time had never been a thing that you thought about often, but it surely crossed your mind as you stood there with her in your arms, feeling her skin against yours. All too quickly she pulled away, already rambling excitedly about all of the rides she wanted to try out. You were still in a bit of a daze, her strawberry perfume making your head spin. Before you know it, she has a hold of your hand, dragging you towards the largest drop tower that the festival had to offer. Maybe this would be a good time to mention that you’re deathly afraid of heights…

~~~~

Hair disheveled and heart palpitating, you stumbled away from the ride. It was comical really, the state you were in. Rosé must have thought so, because she couldn’t contain her laughter once she looked over at you. The sound was music to your ears, and you quickly decided that you’d be willing to get back on that ride if it meant you could hear her giggle like that again. 

After your laughing fit died down, you suggested getting on the ferris wheel to see all of the city lights. Everything burned a little brighter this time of year, the downtown area bustling with life and activity.

“I was just about to mention that. I like the way you think, Y/N.” The combination of the look she gave you and the way your name rolled off of her tongue made you weak in the knees. Before your mind could even begin to question if she had meant something else -- something deeper -- you stopped yourself. It wouldn’t do any good to read too far into the things she said. It was just innocent teasing, you reasoned. 

You failed to notice the way Rosé had looked at you, her eyes taking in every part of you. She wanted to remember this sight; your head thrown back, eyes welling with tears of laughter. When you didn’t pick up on her flirting, though, she took it as a sign to back off a bit. Surely it had been obvious, right? She told herself she’d give it one more try, by the end of the night. No matter your reaction, she would have an answer. 

With that decision made, she led the way to the ferris wheel, you trailing happily behind her. 

“Two?” The worker looked to be about your age, face marked with acne scars, and attitude already unpleasant. With a simple gesture of confirmation, the two of you made your way to the nearest cart. You held the small gate open, allowing Rosé in first. The metal was cool against your palm as you closed it after yourself.

A chilly breeze rolled in, and you noticed her body shiver in the seat across from you. You could tell she tried to hide it, but you were far too observant to miss that. “Here,” you start, already pulling your leather jacket off of yourself and offering it to her. She shook her head furiously, saying, “No, I can’t. You’ll get cold up there!” Maybe it had been the slushy you had earlier, but you got a sudden surge of confidence. “Come over here, then. We’ll keep each other warm.” Her eyes shined with something you couldn’t quite place; something mischievous, perhaps.  

She quickly repositioned herself next to you, snuggling up against your side. “You’re still putting this on, Rosé.” You say lowly, lips grazing her temple. The way the words left your mouth, so matter-of-factly, made her bite her lip. You rarely told anyone what to do, so this role reversal was a bit unexpected. A welcome surprise, she thought, as she slipped the warm material over her shoulders.

~~~~

If someone offered you a million dollars to be anywhere else in the world right now, you would turn them down. You were sure that you had died and gone to Heaven, with how Rosé’s body fit perfectly up against yours and the distant skyline looked as though it had been stolen from a postcard.

Once the cart reached the top, the ride stopped for a short while, allowing you to get a picturesque view of the surrounding area. You grabbed the camera from your bag and snapped a few pictures, not wanting to forget this moment. A quiet wow left her mouth as she leaned over you, looking like a kid on Christmas morning. Has she never seen the lights like this? The untamed beating of your heart echoed wildly at the feeling of having her so close. You prayed she wouldn’t notice the tremble that ran through you as she placed her hand on your thigh, pushing herself up higher into the air for a better perspective. She must’ve noticed something in the distance, because soon she was pointing across the city and bouncing lightly in the seat. With some help, you located what she was so excited about: it was an inflatable cat. She had been that giddy over an inflatable animal on the porch of someone’s apartment. Such a dork, you muttered. She drew in a breath, feigning disbelief. “I am not!” She started, about to defend her honor, when she turned her head. In the excitement, the two of you had pressed closer together -- much closer than either of you had realized -- and now you were face to face. Your eyes darted down to her lips, and you almost threw caution to the wind and closed the distance. You didn’t, though, still missing the signs she was sending you. Her gaze raked across your features, and she grew bold; her hand came up to your cheek, her thumb soon brushing the soft skin. She was achingly close; you could feel the warmth radiating from her body, calling for you.

This cycle continued; both of you waiting for the other to make the first move, terrified that the other didn’t feel the same. It was a wicked game of cat and mouse, and you were finally getting the courage to end it. Just as you were about to lean in, the rickety ride started back up again with a groan, and she was jostled away from you, back into the seat.  

That had to be some sort of symbolism. 

The rest of your night went well, soon again filled with laughter and jokes, but the two of you couldn’t shake what happened. There was an air of something uncertain now, and only something significant was capable of putting an end to this cruel arrangement. 

Part 4: The Realization

“Shit!” You exclaim with a huff, realizing your mistake. “Rosie, do you have any extra film for the polaroid? I lost the last pack I had.” You mentally slap yourself for that one. When you don’t get a response, which is quite unusual for Rosé, you take that as a sign to go look for her. The two of you had chosen to work on the project at her house this time, and it was definitely more spacious than yours. “Rosie?” You call out to her again, checking the rooms as you pass them. Sniffling sounds perk up your ears, and you follow them to their source: the bathroom. “What happened, Rose?” She just sniffles again, letting out a defeated sigh. “It’s nothing, Y/N. I’m okay.” You shake your head, a pained look taking over your features. Knowing that she was hurting killed you. “I don’t believe you. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but at least let me cheer you up. Please?” You plead through the door, waiting rather impatiently for her response. Wordlessly, she gathers herself and opens it, choosing to lean against the frame and meet your concerned gaze. “It’s Joon. He’s being an ass.” You set your jaw and quickly bite your tongue, not wanting to upset her more. Her sweater is soaked and matted with tears, large stains polka-dotting the fluffy material.

Who’s Joon, you may ask? Rosé’s boyfriend and star of the football team… aka your arch nemesis. The two of you typically avoided talking about him, and dating in general. As far as you were concerned, he wasn’t deserving of the attention. A muffled sob pulls you from your stewing session, and you’re quick to step forward and wipe away her tears. You cup her cheeks, softening at the way she leans into your embrace. It’s not hard to tell that she doesn’t get the love that she deserves. “You’re too good for him, Rose. He’s never deserved you.” You say softly, tired of seeing her being mistreated. One instance of this was more than enough, and knowing that this isn’t the first time that he’s been the reason for her tears makes your blood boil. You pull her in, and she rests her head against your chest. If circumstances were different, you would’ve been terrified to have her so close; however, that’s not at the forefront of your mind right now. You’re determined to be there for her, even if it’ll never be in the way you want. “You should be with someone who values you. You can do so much better.” You whisper against her temple -- just loud enough for her to hear -- lips in the same position as they were that night at the fair. It comes out as a gentle confession, but you say it like the simple fact it is. 

After a few more moments of holding her close, her sweet vanilla perfume in the air, she shifts in your arms. Her eyes find yours, and the moment seems as though it was plucked out of some cheesy, coming of age movie. Something within both of you clicks at that point, and you just know. Her slightly puffy features look especially adorable right now, her eyes sparkling. That always seemed like such a strange, poetic thing to you -- how some people can manage to look so stunning after crying. It’s as though she needed that, in some twisted way. It opened her eyes to the situation she was in, although it hurt. She knew she could get through anything, though, with you by her side. And standing there, wrapped in your warmth, she really couldn’t find it in herself to even think of Joon. 

Your eyes fell to her lips, and she didn’t fail to notice. God, those lips. You thought, remembering all of the times you’ve wanted to kiss her. She somehow managed to be utterly perfect without even trying. Your heart rate sped up at the feeling of her hands working their way down to your waist, gripping your hips tightly. The atmosphere shifted, and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. “Y/N…” she says lowly, almost as if she’s trying to keep herself from doing something stupid. “Hmm?” You drag out, causing her to bite her lip in return. Just as the two of you lean in ever closer, the sounds of keys jangling downstairs interrupts your moment. Feeling brave, and not wanting that encounter to pass with nothing to show for it, you give her a sweet kiss on the cheek. You chuckle lightly at the whine that leaves her lips, and take a minute to gather yourself before leading the way downstairs to greet her parents. 

----

Over the next few days, neither of you mention all that’s happened. You want to, but you have no idea how; your nerves would surely get the best of you. And what if she didn’t feel the same? How embarrassing would that be? You wanted nothing more than to have that Hallmark, fairytale ending with her, but you knew that was unrealistic. So, you did what you do best; you continued falling for her from afar, attempting to settle into this routine.  

Little did you know that she hadn’t stopped thinking about it. She often found herself stroking her cheek, where your hand had been that night. If she focused hard enough, she could almost remember the smell of your tropical shampoo, too. Her feelings confused her, but she knew what she wanted. Her fear of rejection outweighed her courage, though, and she never knew how to tell you that she had fallen for you. 

Part 5: An Overheard Conversation

As you made your way through the halls and towards the library, your mind wandered to a place it often frequented: Rosé. You had been so caught up in other things that you hadn’t really registered that the project would be over soon. It saddened you to think about, but maybe it was for the best. Perhaps a little distance between the two of you would make it easier to ignore your feelings. Turning the corner, you collided with someone, sending their books into the floor. “I’m so sorry!” You apologize quickly, making sure they’re alright, before helping them gather their things. They do the same, and continue on their way as you readjust your clothes.

At the sound of that achingly familiar voice, you freeze.

“I broke up with him, Jennie.”

That’s all it took for you to press yourself up against the wall, set on listening in on the conversation without getting caught. Part of you felt bad for doing that, but there was no way you were leaving now.

“Good, he never deserved you anyway.” The other girl, Jennie, said, and you made a mental note to give her a high five later on. 

“He took me for granted. I’m just upset it took me so long to realize it.”

“Hey, don’t do that. You remembered your worth and didn’t let that jackass hurt you anymore. That’s queen status, if you ask me.” Make that a double high five.

The sounds of her locker being closed lead you to believe that the girls are about to walk away and end the conversation, but you soon stop dead in your tracks, yet again.

“There’s another reason that I ended things, though, and I’ve been meaning to tell you about it.” 

“Ooh, do tell.”

Rosé clears her throat, and quickly checks to make sure the coast is clear before speaking again. Thank God she didn’t notice your presence. 

“I’ve liked this person for a really long time, Jennie.” She confesses, before continuing. “They’re always there for me when I need them… and don’t even get me started on how adorable they are.”

Jennie chuckles at Rosé’s words, and you can see her shake her head. “What??” Rosé asks, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“You’ve got it bad. I’ve never seen you blush like that at just the thought of someone. And that’s saying something.”

Rosé hides her face in her hands, embarrassed but amused. “She’s just so incredible.”

Your heart stops, blood running cold in your veins, and your hand shoots up to cover your mouth. Does Jennie know she likes girls? SHE LIKES GIRLS?? I mean, you had thought so after that night but she’d never admitted it before.

“She?” Jennie asks gently, not even a trace of judgement in her tone. A little surprise, sure, but nothing bad. Rosé simply takes a deep breath and nods her head, waiting for her best friend’s reaction to her slip up. It’s not that she thought she would be unaccepting, just that these kinds of things were a little bit of a shock to hear sometimes.

“Well, who is she? I’ll have to do some snooping on your next potential love interest.”

Rosé lets out a giggle, and you almost blow your cover by laughing with her.

“You won’t be getting that information out of me yet, Jennie. No way.” She says, taking the other girl’s hand and leading her down the hallway, away from you. 

Once alone again, you let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding. Could you be that girl?

Part 6: Presentation Day

As you make your way to your seat, you let out a tired yawn; you had stayed up late adding some last minute touches to your presentation. You wanted it to be a surprise for Rosé, so you hadn’t told her about what you had done. Hopefully she would enjoy it.

The other groups each took turns showcasing their projects and explaining what the prompt had meant to them. Some said “money”, “luxury”, “time”, etc. Your answer was a bit different than theirs, and you were excited to share it with everyone.

Once it was your turn to present, you made your way up to the front of the room, selecting the correct files and connecting your device with the projector. Rosé could sense that you were anxious, which wasn’t new for you; school presentations had always made you nervous. Silently, she took your hand within her own and rubbed her thumb across your knuckles. None of the class was paying much attention yet, since you were still technically getting set up, and you were beyond thankful for that intimate moment with her. 

A short time later, you begin. 

Rosé expertly introduces the different topics you chose to cover with the prompt, explaining their meaning with sincerity. Images of old couples smiling, holding one another close, graced the screen when she brought up “growing old together” as a finer thing in life. “Not everyone gets the opportunity to do that with who they love,” she said, and you noticed that her eyes went to you when she said that. Maybe you just imagined that last part, you thought to yourself. Surely so. 

Other slides of animals, pets, and nature appeared as she continued her speech, followed by her suggestion that “the act of loving and preserving Earth and its creatures” is another finer thing in life. 

This process continued, with you jumping in for the slides that you had chosen to take over for. 

Upon hearing Rosé finish her last stretch of rehearsed dialogue, you look to your teacher, who gives you a subtle nod and smile. Rosé shoots you a confused look, but you don’t answer her with words. You move a nearby chair to face the board before bringing her to it. She sits, even more confused now, but trusting you. 

You swallow nervously, and lick your lips. “Over these past couple months, Rosé and I shared new experiences,” with a click of the remote, images of your adventures flood the screen -- your trips to the lake, forest, park, and even the beach, capture the attention of the class. Rosé was right there with them, considering she had never seen some of these pictures, let alone expected you to present them. “We tried new foods, left our comfort zone, and learned more about each other.” More images popped up; some from when you went on a tour of the different restaurants around town, some from bungee jumping, cave exploring, and open water fishing. 

“But as we grew closer, I realized more about myself in the process. I’m totally, utterly, and undeniably in love with you, Rosé.” The next set of candid images shows a new glint in your eyes when you look at each other; this was when you had really gotten in deep. You shyly raise your eyes to hers, your stomach in knots. Tears are quickly forming in her eyes, and she’s covering her mouth to quiet herself. “You make me happier than I’ve ever been, and life feels better with you. You are my finer thing in life.” Despite all of the emotions she’s feeling right now, she smiles at the dorky pictures of the two of you doing random things during your shared escapades. 

Finally, you click to the last slide, revealing a series of pictures of you spelling out, “Be mine?” 

This was the final straw; tears finally make their way down her face, spilling onto her soft cheeks. You nod at Mrs. Johnson the same way she had done before, and she swiftly bends down to grab something beneath her desk. When she returns, she hands you a single red rose. “OMG! A rose for Rosé, how cute!” One of your classmates yells from the back of the room, and you laugh aloud. That broke the tension, and soon all of you were giggling loudly together. “Well, whaddya say?” You ask, holding out the rose to her in offering. Wordlessly, she takes the flower and wraps her arms around your neck, connecting your lips in a long overdue kiss. The class erupts at this and she smiles against you. 

“Mission accomplished.” Mrs. Johnson says to herself, once everyone is settled back in their seats and chatting about what happened. “I was hoping that would work out.” Confused, you decide to inquire. Reluctantly taking your eyes off of Rosé, you look to your teacher and ask, “Did you plan this from the beginning?” She gives you a curious look before scoffing, “I’m practically a matchmaker, Y/N. I saw the way the two of you looked at each other. It would’ve been a crime not to pair you up.”

Your mouth hangs agape as you look back to Rosé, finding her donning a similar expression. “I was tricked into the plan!” You realize, laughing with her. “It was destiny, then.” She says, pulling you in by your collar for yet another kiss, loving the feeling of your blushing cheeks against her own.

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Thanks for reading!!!

[alicanta77]

Pairing: y/n x Jeno

Themes: angst, fluff

Warnings: death, injury, survivors guilt and a whole bucket of angst - really prepare yourself

Words: 11.5k

Synopsis: Jeno thought he had life pretty much figured out. He had amazing friends, a very supportive family, the career he had always dreamed of and fans who loved him from all over the world. It looked as if there was nothing more he could want. But something was missing from his life and Jeno couldn’t figure out what it was. Then, one morning while he was on a run, he spotted you. And suddenly Jeno found his life had a whole new meaning to it. The two of you fell in love harder and deeper than anyone had thought possible, and it seemed like, finally, the final piece of the puzzle had fallen into place. But life isn’t always a smooth ride, and sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to. And Jeno finds himself learning and experiencing things he never wished he’d ever have to.

This story is part of the ‘Sometimes Letting Go’ collaboration organised by the absolutely brilliant @rvse-hvvck <333

tag list: @xysabellex @aconeptun @jeongyoonohs @pewpewpwe00 @lebrookestore @moon-jun​

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Sometimes letting go, hurts less than holding on

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Jeno still remembers the first day he met you. He was in the park, having decided to go for a run on the morning of his day off, wanting to feel the fresh air after being cooped up in the practice room for the past two weeks. He was trying to find the motivation to move faster than a sluggish walk, his muscles arguing with his mind, when he looked up and saw you. You were leaning over the river, watching as the water passed by underneath you and Jeno couldn’t help but stare. He pulled his headphones out of his ears and just observed the beautiful girl he saw before him. 

He watched as you looked up and he quickly tried to look away, in an attempt to act as though he wasn’t just creepily watching a stranger in the park. You let out a giggle and Jeno thought it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.

‘Can I help you?’ You asked, a kind smile on your face.

‘Hi, sorry, I didn’t mean to stare, I just...’ Jeno wracked his brain trying to think of a way to explain himself before giving up and deciding to just go with the truth. ‘You’re really beautiful.’

You didn’t react for a second, making panic run through every vein in Jeno’s body. But that soon relaxed when a smile made its way on your face and you let out a little embarrassed laugh. He couldn’t help but let out a small laugh himself at his blunder, relieved that you hadn’t run away from him already.

‘You’re not that bad yourself.’ You replied, the nervousness you were clearly feeling obvious in your face and words. ‘I’m y/n.’

‘Jeno.’ He introduced himself. 

And that was where it all began.

---

It didn’t take long for Jeno to become completely infatuated with you. You had the kind of energy that just drew people to you. Everywhere you went, you radiated a kindness that grabbed people’s attention. And before he knew it, before he could stop it, Jeno was smitten.

Jeno learnt pretty quickly that you kept your circle small, choosing the few people you trusted to be close to you, to know the real you. And Jeno wanted nothing more than to be one of those people.

The two of you made it a tradition to go to that same park, once a week, you would go into the nearby coffee shop, grab some food and head out to the river. Jeno kept this to himself, but your trips together quickly became his favourite part of the week.

He never really found time to relax, always being busy with rehearsing or writing lyrics or staying in shape, and he’d always thought he didn’t have the time to form a relationship of any kind with someone. But somehow, no matter how busy he was, Jeno found himself able to make time for you.

It was at that same park that Jeno asked you out for the first time. He had just bought your favourite order from the coffee shop, and was ready and waiting for you when you arrived. You came jogging up to him, slightly out of breath and with a slightly red nose from the cooling autumn air.

‘Sorry!’ You breathed, pausing for a second to calm yourself. ‘I was really late leaving the house and then I got stuck in traffic so I ran as soon as I could.’

‘You didn’t have to do that.’ Jeno chuckled, handing you your coffee and pastry. ‘I don’t mind waiting for you.’

You took the order out of his hand, smiling up at him in gratitude.

‘Thank you for ordering for me, I’ll get the next one. And yes I did, I didn’t want to leave you waiting. Plus it’s hard to find time together so I want to make the most of it when we have it.’

The two of you began to walk, staying close to the riverside as you headed towards the sheltered spot you always went. It was hidden slightly in the trees so that Jeno could take off his mask without worrying about who would see him.

It had become almost a kind of safe haven for Jeno, a place where he could be himself and not have to worry about what anybody thought. He had always felt comfortable being his true self around you, you had always encouraged him to drop the image he had to wear any time there was a camera around him, and he appreciated that more than he let you know.

Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off you as the two of you walked. There was a small light in your eyes as you talked about your recent piece of work that you were avoiding, laughing at yourself and claiming how much you knew you were going to regret it but that was a problem for you in the future.

Jeno laughed along with you, so taken in by the melodious sound that escaped your lips that he almost walked past your usual spot. You reached out to grab his hand, stopping him in his tracks as he stared down at your intertwined hands. You nodded your head down to the ground, gesturing that you were here and silently pulled him down to sit next to you.

Jeno couldn’t quite get over how perfectly your hand fit in his, the way your fingers curled tightly around his made him never want to let go. And it was in this moment that he realised, this wasn’t just infatuation.

He wasn’t sure what it was. He didn’t think it was love just yet, but it was definitely something more than just a crush. Whatever it was, Jeno wanted more of it.

He tore his eyes away from your hands to look at your face, only to be greeted with your gaze already on him. Your eyes were fixated on his and your lips were slightly parted, with small breaths escaping them.

God you were beautiful.

‘Can I kiss you?’ Jeno whispered, and it took about a millisecond before he started mentally cursing himself in every language that he knew. He almost wished Jaemin were here so that he could slap him on head.

Jeno was about to take it back, to apologise and make up something about being so worn out recently that he wasn’t sure what he was saying, until he heard your reply.

‘Yes.’

Your voice was soft, almost inaudible, but your words were louder than a scream to Jeno. It took him a minute to actually register that you had agreed, but when it finally sunk in he refused to waste any time.

He leant in, delicately cupping your face with his hands and closed the gap between the two of you. His lips pressed gently to yours and you leaned further into him. He pulled away soon, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable and opened his eyes to look at you.

He moved his hands from your face as he took in your expression. Your eyes opened slowly, immediately finding his and conveying all that they needed to say.

You reached up with your hands, this time placing them on his face and pulled him in again, kissing him with more passion. Jeno’s arms wound around your waist, pulling your body closer to him as he kissed you back.

The two of you seemed to move closer together and each second passed, wanting nothing more than to leave no space between the two of you. Eventually you pulled away, the need to breathe breaking the perfect kiss.

However, you didn’t move away from him, instead staying close enough that Jeno could rest his forehead on yours. He kept his eyes shut, imprinting this moment into his memory so that he would never forget it.

‘Be mine?’ He asked breathlessly, wanting nothing more than to officially be able to call you his, and kiss you like that whenever he wanted.

You didn’t reply, making a stream of panic flood Jeno’s system as he began to worry that he had spoken too soon or moved too quickly. But then, you spoke the one word that made his heart soar.

‘Always.’

---

Jeno laying facing you, one hand gently stroking the hair out of your face as you lay on the other. He looked into your eyes, memorising the swirl of colours that always enchanted him. You were staring back at him, the only noise in the room being your soft breaths.

Jeno had come to love nights like these. Before, he would just head back to the dorms, play games for a couple of hours and then sleep. But recently, he’d been finding it difficult to relax if he didn’t have you by his side. You had some kind of power over him, Jeno just found himself relaxing under your touch.

This wasn’t the first time you were spending the night, you had come over for dinner to meet the boys a while back, and a sudden storm had broken out, preventing you from getting home so Jeno had offered for you to stay the night. The boys had all loved you, so none of them minded, Jaemin even going as far as to bribe you with a cooked breakfast the next morning. The two of you had fallen asleep on his bed together, you begging him not to sleep on the floor. Ever since that night, he’d secretly been needing you in order to fall asleep.

The last time Jeno had checked his phone, the time had been 00:36, and that had been a while ago. He watched as your eyes began to flutter shut slightly, but you forced them open.

‘Can you get me talking on something?’ You whispered. ‘I don’t want to fall asleep just yet.’

‘Do you think a person can give you infinity?’ Jeno mumbled out, just saying the first thing that came to his mind.

You were quiet for a second, thinking about your answer before replying.

‘Yeah, I think so. When you’re lucky enough to find someone who you love, and who loves you like that, I think it is an infinity.’

‘But things always end? One way or another, you know, you break up, someone moves on, or even if you stay together all your lives one of you will eventually die, leaving the other alone. And it will end.’ Jeno replied, frowning as he tried to understand your point of view.

‘I don’t think anything ever really ends, not a story, not a relationship, not a life. You always see traces of it anywhere you look. Things live on, not in or as themselves, but in other people, in the lives of others that they touched, that they had an impact on.’ You explained your point, your voice still at a low volume, as if you would destroy the atmosphere if you spoke too loud. ‘People carry parts of them with them as they lead their lives, and eventually, pass it on to others they know. Nothing ever really ends because it lives on in everything else.’

Jeno paused, thinking over what you said and found himself nodding.

‘That makes sense.’ He admitted to you, watching as you smiled at that.

‘What do you see in your future?’ You asked, abruptly changing the subject.

Jeno raised an eyebrow, smirking teasingly at you. 

‘What do you see in yours?’

You looked up at him, debating whether you should tell him or force him to speak first. After a short internal battle, you ended up swallowing your pride and being the one to talk.

‘If I’m honest, I want the career, I want to travel and I want to be able to make friends and make mistakes and be stupid, but at the end of the day, when I look further than five to ten years, the one thing I really want is a family. I don’t see massive parties, or constant travelling, I want to have Sunday mornings breakfasts with everyone around the table, I want to push my kids on the swings in the playground, I want to bring them to their grandparents for the day and I want to help with homework. I want a family, and the domestic life that comes with them.’

While you were saying this, the smirk on Jeno’s face had morphed into a smile of pure love. He wrapped his arms tighter around you, pulling you into his chest as he let out a sigh, dropping his head onto yours and placing a kiss on the top of your head.

‘That sounds amazing.’ He whispered. ‘As long as I don’t have to help with Maths.’ 

He heard you giggle into his chest, your body moving slightly with laughter at his words.

‘Deal. I’ll help with Maths, but that means you have to do science.’ You bargained, and Jeno nodded, leaning in to give you a kiss.

And he didn’t tell you this then, but he hoped with every fibre of his being that he was in that picture.

---

Jeno hit the final pose, staring into the mirror as he breathed heavily. The other six boys around him were in similar positions, all trying to catch their breath after their run through of the dance. They had been in the practice room for over seven hours now, they were tired, hungry, their muscles ached and they just wanted to go home.

The choreographer called for a fifteen minute break, telling them to get a drink of water and then they would run it through one final time. The boys nodded, waiting until he had left the room before they all collapsed onto the floor, the exhaustion of the day catching up to them.

The seven of them lay there, all in an ungraceful heap when the door creaked open again. Jisung sat up in a rush, thinking it was the choreographer, but immediately falling down again when he saw who it was. The confused Jeno, and he was about to sit up and have a look when your laugh echoed throughout the room.

‘I take it you guys are tired.’ You teased, walking through the mess of bodies to greet their manager who was sitting on their phone in the corner.

You didn’t get much more than a few groans in greeting, making you sigh and hold up the bag you had brought with you.

‘I brought food for you guys!’ You announced, unable to stop yourself from laughing at the sudden energy burst in the room.

The boys began to sit up, and you quickly moved into the middle of them, placing the bag down and sitting yourself next to Jeno.

‘What about the choreographer?’ Renjun asked no one in particular.

‘They won’t be back for another ten minutes, just have a snack and drink and, you can stay to eat the rest after we finish.’ Their manager replied from their spot in the corner of the room before turning their attention back to their phone.

The boys all grinned at each other letting out excited shouts as they looked through the food you brought. They all grabbed a snack each, wasting no time in digging in to refuel. 

‘So, what flavour have you got this time?’ Jaemin asked, noticing the cup in your hand that bared the logo of your favourite frozen yoghurt shop.

‘It’s called “Tropical Breeze” apparently and I have no idea what’s in it.’ You informed him, mumbling the last part slightly as you looked at the cold treat you were holding. It was a mixture of orange, yellow and red swirls, with a few white spots here and there. ‘It’s nice though.’

Jaemin let out a chuckle as Chenle spoke up.

‘Do you think this will be the one you get twice then?’

You simply grinned at him, humming thoughtfully before shaking your head in reply.

Jeno laughed at that, accepting the energy drink you held out to him. He took a few gulps, thankful beyond belief that you had thought to refrigerate them before bringing them here. He could feel the liquid cooling him down as he flopped his body down on top of your legs, curing up into you.

You instinctively brought your hand down to his hair, running your fingers through it as he gently hummed happily. For once, the boys seemed to decide to leave the two of you in peace, rather than tease you within an inch of your lives.

‘You tired baby?’ You asked, feeling Jeno nod in response. ‘You’re almost there, the day’s almost over.’

Jeno smiled at that, the simplest words, even ones that he’d told himself multiple times that day had so much more power coming from you. Your comforting whispers, accompanied by the hand you were running through his hair all allowed him to finally catch his breath.

Just at the moment he sat up, the choreographer strutted back in, calling for the boys to stand and run it through one final time. He tore himself away from you, making his way to his starting position as you moved the food out of the way before setting down by the side of the practice room.

Jeno wasn’t sure how you had managed to befriend the choreographer but he was thankful you did, because it meant that you were allowed to sit in the corner and watch their practices sometimes. 

Jeno looked over at you as the music began and you sent him a reassuring nod as he began to dance, suddenly finding himself a lot more energised than before.

---

You knocked lightly on Jeno’s door, keeping it quiet just in case he was asleep. You couldn’t see any light coming from the crack under the door, but Jaemin had assured you that he was still awake. You’d gotten a call from Jaemin, asking you if there was any way you could come around tonight. Apparently, the choreography teacher hadn’t been in the nicest mood today, leaving Jeno to be on the receiving end of his temper tantrum. That, accompanied with a diet and the pressure the boys were under to make this show great, were not adding up to a good day.

You knocked again, this time hearing a small mumble from the inside that vaguely resembled the words ‘come in’. You took that as a sign and pushed open the door slightly to peak inside.

The room was dark, the curtains pulled shut in order to block out any light left in the day, and the bedside light was also switched off. Jeno was a lump underneath his duvet, the cover pulled right up to his face so that you could hardly see him.

You approached him quietly, gently sighing when you saw the state he was in. You sat next to him, softly stroking some hair out of his face and leaning in to place a kiss on his forehead.

Jeno sniffed quietly, clearly not wanting you to see him so upset, but you didn’t want to leave him alone right now. You kept running your fingers through his hair, whispering comforting words over and over.

‘It’s okay, you just need sleep and then you’ll be in tomorrow. Tomorrow’s a new day and you can start fresh then. It’s gonna be alright, I promise you.’

Jeno shut his eyes, nodding along to what you were saying, trying to make himself believe it.

‘Do you want me to massage your muscles?’

Jeno opened his eyes at your offer, sending you a sad smile and shaking his head. He instead lifted an arm, opening his duvet to you.

‘Could you just come here?’ He whispered pleadingly to you, wanting nothing more than to just hug you as close to him as he possibly could for the remainder of the night.

You smiled at him lovingly, immediately placing your phone on his bedside table before lying down next to him. You curled up into his warmth, snaking an arm around his waist to give him a comforting squeeze. You felt his grip around you get gradually tighter and tighter, and you nuzzled your head further into his chest, feeling his relax slightly as you did so.

‘I’m going to be here.’ You whispered. ‘When you go to sleep I’ll be here and I’ll still be here when you wake up, I promise.’

Jeno nodded at that, leaning down to kiss your forehead, before shutting his eyes. You leant up to place a kiss wherever you could reach, eventually settling for the bottom of his neck. He smiled slightly, prompting you to do it again.

‘Tickles.’ He muttered, unable to stop a small chuckle from escaping him when you did it a third time. ‘Stop.’

You giggled to yourself, glad that he was smiling before sleeping and relaxing back into his embrace. After a short while, the two of you finally fell asleep, both your hearts as intertwined as your bodies were.

You fell asleep first, missing the sentence that Jeno whispered into your hair as he let sleep take him.

‘I love you so much.’

---

Jeno lay on the grass in the park where the two of you first met. He came here quite often, sometimes with you, sometimes alone. But he always came to just remember the day he met you, the day his life changed for the better. Jeno didn’t know where he would be or how he would be living if he hadn’t had the courage to walk up to you that day on the bridge.

He heard footsteps approaching from behind him, and turned to look at you as you lay down in the grass next to him. Your head gently hit the ground, and the two of you turned to face each other, gently smiling in greeting before turning your eyes back to the sky.

As always, the two of you waited before saying anything, just letting the tranquility of the night relax you before speaking.

‘Three stars in a row, completely straight, do you see them?’ You asked, pointing them out as best you could. Jeno nodded, allowing you to continue. ‘That’s Orion’s belt. According to Greek mythology, Orion was a hunter, and a good one at that. However, he was also very proud, he even boasted that he would kill every beast of the earth, and that he was a better hunter than Artemis. This angered Artemis, the Goddess of the Hunt, so much so that, to teach him a lesson, she sent a scorpion after him. There was a huge battle between the two, ending in the scorpion fatally stinging Orion. Zeus placed both Orion and the scorpion in the sky, however, on opposite sides of the earth. This is so that their feud will remain in the past, and that is why you will never see Orion and the Scorpion in the sky at the same time.’

Jeno didn’t reply, just simply smiled at the constellation, finding it difficult to take his eyes off it now that you had explained the story.

‘There’s multiple versions to it. One includes Gaia, who is the protector of all animals, and one-’

‘I like it.’ Jeno interrupted your ramblings. ‘Most of these myths have many versions, just tell me your favourites.’ He reached out, intertwining your fingers and giving your hand a reassuring squeeze.

The two of you continued to lie there in silence. It had become tradition for you to bring a new constellation to your conversation every time you met, and you had decided to find the mythology behind it and bring that too. At first you were worried that you had been annoying him about it, that was until Renjun and Jisung let it slip that he was going back to the dorms and relaying the stories to the boys at every chance he got.

‘You know, I don’t think I’d change anything.’ Jeno spoke, breaking the silence. ‘We always speak about what we would change in our lives, or what we hope to change in the future, but, for the first time, I don’t think I’d change anything.’

‘Really? Not even my habit of taking long showers?’ You questioned, raising an eyebrow at him teasingly.

‘Stop it! I’m being serious.’ He whined, nudging you with his elbow. ‘I really don’t think there’s anything major that I would change. I really like things the way they are, and I hope they stay like this.’

You smiled up at the sky at his words, thinking about your own life and whether there was anything you would change.

‘I’d speak to my mum more.’ You admitted. ‘I miss her, a lot, yet every time I have the chance to speak to her, I chicken out. I don’t know if I’m nervous as to what she’s going to ask, or just convincing myself that it’s going to be a drastically long conversation, but... I want to speak to her more.’

‘Why don’t you go for a walk with her instead? That way you can stop at a cafe for a coffee and actually have a conversation.’ Jeno suggested. ‘You have a free morning next week.’

‘I’ll call her tomorrow, and set the date.’

You nodded towards the sky, sealing the promise. It always went like this. One of you would begin to talk, confess something that they wish they were doing differently, and the other would offer solutions. The only catch was, you had to try their suggestion.

‘Did you know that, due to the amount of light years it takes for the light of the stars to reach us, most of the stars that we’re seeing have already burnt out?’ Jeno changed the subject, 

‘The sky’s like a graveyard.’

‘A graveyard of stars.’ You mumbled, not noticing the way Jeno turned his head to smile at you. ‘I think stars are brave, because they shine so brightly when everything around them is dark.’

You turned to look at Jeno, finding him already looking at you, trying to stop his smile from growing.

‘What?’ You complained and he looked back at the sky, letting a laugh escape him.

‘Nothing.’ He grinned. ‘You’re just cute.’

You smiled at him, rolling over so that you landed on his chest, his arm that was previously resting under his head coming down to hold your shoulder. 

‘I think I’d like to be buried in the sky.’ You rambled, not thinking too much as to what you were saying. Jeno hummed to let you know he was listening as you continued. ‘Just to be up there, lighting the night sky... it would be nice to do that for eternity.’

‘You light up my sky.’ Jeno whispered into your hair, pulling you as close as he could as the two of you watched the night pass you by, closer to the stars than the two of you would ever know.

---

You laughed at what Jaemin said as your head came down to rest on Jeno’s shoulder. He noticed this and tilted his to place a soft peck on your forehead. You had been at the dorms pretty much all day, Jeno having called you as soon as he heard that their dance practice had been pushed back until tomorrow.

You had all just finished dinner and were currently sitting around the table idly chatting. Jeno’s arm came around your waist, pulling you even closer as you leaned into him. You sneaked a quick look at your watch, sighing when you realised what time it was.

‘I should probably go.’ You announced dejectedly, attempting to stand but Jeno immediately tightened his grip around you whining slightly into your shoulder.

‘Stay.’ He begged, drawing out the word.

‘I really wish I could, but you have practice early tomorrow and you need rest. Plus I have stuff to finish so I need a good night’s sleep too.’ You replied, still trying to crawl out of your boyfriend’s grip. ‘Jeno let go! You’re holding me like you’ll never see me again.’ You laughed, as the other three boys watched you struggle, making no attempt to help you whatsoever.

‘Fine.’ Jeno grumbled, loosening his grip around your waist.

You finally stood, grabbing your phone and making sure you had your car keys before turning back to Jeno who was sitting at the table pouting at you.

‘Nope, not gonna work.’ You stated, thankful that the lengthy time the two of you had been together had made you almost immune to his puppy dog eyes.

Renjun, Jaemin and Jisung took the moment to say a few quick goodbyes, and Jeno walked with you to the door.

‘Are you sure you can’t stay?’ He whispered, leaning down to give you a deep kiss.

‘You really had to go and make it even harder for me to leave, didn’t you?’ You murmured against his lips, as he nodded in reply.

You summoned every once of self control that you had and pulled back, ignoring the huff that escaped Jeno as you did. You reached up to stroke his cheek slightly.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow evening? I can stay over then?’ You offered and Jeno immediately smiled back at you.

‘Perfect.’ He muttered and leant back in to give you one final kiss.

He then stepped back and the two of you smiled at each other as you began to walk away.

---

You sat in your car, humming along to the song on the radio as you pulled up to a red light. You thought back to the night you had just had and couldn’t stop the smile from stretching across your face. You hadn’t seen the boys in a while so it had been really nice to spend the day with them, and seeing Jeno was always something that you loved.

You noticed the light turn green, and you moved forward. The song on the radio came to a stop, the next one playing soon after and you instantly recognised it as one of Jeno’s favourite songs. He had played it for you that morning. You leaned down to turn up the volume to listen to it, taking your eyes away from the road for a second too long. You weren’t paying attention to the truck that had just barrelled through the red light opposite you. You didn’t see it skid out of control, spinning towards your car at speed.

You just lifted your eyes back to the road when-

Crash.

---

Jeno got the call two hours later. He listened as the words crackled down the phone he held to his ear.

‘Hello?’ He answered, not recognising the number.

‘Is this Lee Jeno?’ The voice asked him without returning Jeno’s greeting.

‘Yes this is him.’ Jeno replied, standing up from the table he was sat at with Jaemin, Jisung and Renjun, instead choosing to move to the corner of the room for a bit of privacy.

‘Jeno, my name is Dr Park, I’m calling from Seoul Medical Centre. You are currently listed as the emergency contact for a y/n y/l/n.’

‘Yeah that’s my girlfriend, is everything okay?’ Jeno asked quietly, not noticing the confused looks the boys were sending each other behind his back. He ran a hand through his hair to calm himself as he could feel his nerves begin to rise.

‘I’m sorry to tell you that no, everything is not okay, Mr Lee. I regret to inform you that y/n y/l/n has been involved in a car accident just over an hour ago. Our team tried all they could but unfortunately it wasn’t enough. I’m so sorry Mr Lee, but on the way to the hospital, she passed away...’

The rest of the words faded into nothingness, the phone falling from his grip as he stared ahead, his entire body feeling numb. The three other boys in the kitchen stared at him in confusion, Jaemin quickly moved to grab Jeno by the arms, asking what happened, Jisung watched him in confusion while Renjun picked up his phone from the ground and asked the person on the other side what was going on. Renjun’s face paled as he heard the news, quickly thanking the doctor on the line before hanging up and turning towards the rest of the boys.

He swallowed, staring as Jeno’s catatonic figure before speaking, his voice trembling.

‘There- there was a car accident. A drunk driver hit y/n’s car. She... she didn’t make it.’

Jaemin and Jisung’s heads whipped towards Jeno, both of them staring at him with wide eyes, as if waiting for him to confirm the news.

‘Y/n...’ Jaemin began, only to be interrupted by Jeno’s voice.

‘She’s dead.’ He stated, his voice surprisingly firm. ‘She’s dead.’ He repeated, much softer this time. His eyes turned to his best friend. ‘Y/n? She’s dead? My... my y/n’s dead?’ Jaemin nodded slowly, watching as the tears began to fill Jeno’s eyes. His breath started to leave him as the realisation dawned on him and the news began to sink in.

You were dead. You were never coming back.

Jaemin moved forwards, wrapping Jeno up in the most secure hug he had ever felt in his life. It took him a second before he could even respond, wrapping his own arms around his friend. As each second ticked away, he could feel his grip tighten, the thoughts swimming around his head gradually drowning him.

‘I’m not...’

Jaemin shushed him, rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him. Jeno just gave up, pushing his head in Jaemin’s neck as he finally broke down. The cries tearing from him sounded painful, but it was nothing to the pain he was feeling in his chest. Jeno was in so much pain, it felt as though he could feel his heart physically splitting in half.

‘I’m not ready for this.’ He sobbed. And he wasn’t. Jeno had no idea how to live his life without you in it, and it wasn’t anything he wanted to know how to do. But now, that was about to become his new reality.

---

Your funeral was the hardest day of Jeno’s life.

If Jeno thought he had had difficult days before, he was wrong. Today, he had to bury the person he loved more than anything else in this world. He had to leave behind the woman he had hoped to be with forever. He had to admit that she was never coming back.

He had to say goodbye to you.

Getting into the suit he was wearing took three people. Both Jaemin and Renjun had to come in so that they could help him do his tie properly, put in the cufflinks and pull his jacket on. There were about five times while getting dressed Jeno just wanted to give up and go in sweats, but this was for you. When it got difficult, he just reminded himself, this was for you.

He had to greet your family, all of them in tears, reassuring him that you loved him so much as he hugged them. So many other people came up to him, crying and patting him and hugging him to show their sympathy.

He sat through the service feeling completely numb. The loving words from your family and friends sounded muffled, as if he was underwater, and Jeno just focused on trying not to break down.

‘Now we will hear from y/n’s boyfriend, Lee Jeno.’ Those words cut through his haze, grabbing his attention.

Jeno knew this was coming. Soon after your death your family had asked Jeno to give a eulogy, knowing it was what you would have wanted. He had been preparing for it for the past few days, but now, with the letter he had written to you in his hands, he wasn’t sure if he could do it. His hands began to shake as he forced himself to stand.

Do it for y/n.

Jeno whispered this to himself over and over like a prayer as he climbed to the lectern. He placed his speech on the stand in front of him and looked out to the crowd.

He saw your family, all of them drowning in tears, he saw some of your friends he recognised, but his eyes came to rest on the boys. The six other Dream members who had been allowed to come with him to the funeral. All of them gave him nods of encouragement, but Jeno couldn’t take his eyes off Hyuck.

Hyuck was clearly crying, the lights reflecting off the tear marks on his cheeks, yet he still gave a tight lipped smile and a nod, before pointing subtly up to the ceiling and placing his hand on his heart, conveying a message only Jeno could understand.

Do it for y/n.

Jeno bit his lip to stop himself from crying. He had written this for you and now he knew he had to say it. He had to say goodbye. He took a shaky breath and began to speak.

‘When I was asked to write a eulogy for y/n, I thought it would be easy. I would talk about how brilliant of a person that we all knew she was, how much good she brought into the world and, most of all, how much I loved her. But when I sat down to actually write it, to get the words down on paper, I didn’t know where to begin. How do you sum up her entire character, in a few words? The simple answer is, you can’t. All her achievements and all her challenges, no matter how big or small, shaped her into the person that we all know and love today. And we’re only here today, because she can’t be that person for us anymore. I don’t think I can stand in front of you and talk about y/n and how much I love her, simply because I don’t think I’ll be able to do that for more than a few seconds before I break down, so...’ Jeno took another deep breath, blinking back a few of the tears that were threatening to fall. ‘I’m going to talk about tradition. Tradition is defined as the transmission of customs or beliefs from generation to generation, or the fact of being passed on in this way. But I think it’s a lot more than that. Traditions aren’t always passed down through generations, sometimes they’re kept just within one lifetime, but that tradition is what makes that lifetime special. Traditions give you a routine that is personal to you, something that you do religiously because it means something to you, because you have a connection to it... because you love it. A tradition that y/n and I had, was to visit the place we met. Even before I was lucky enough to call her mine, we went there once a week just to spend time together. Even when we were together, we would head there at night, to watch the stars, and talk about life. The life we were living, the life we wanted to live, and the life we thought we would be living by now, and every week, we both came back with a different answer. I went with her once a week, and when she asked what life I was living and what I wanted to be living, I realised that they had one thing in common, and that was that they both had y/n in it. No matter where I was, or what I was doing, I knew I would do anything to have her by my side. Because she was my tradition, she was my life. But if I’ve learnt anything about life, it’s that you can’t choose how it’s lived. It chooses that for you, but I would give anything, and I mean anything, just to have told her that I loved her one last time, and that my future didn’t just include her... it was her. I will never forget you, y/n. Quite simply because, you’re not somebody that people forget. I love you, and I will love you for as long as I live. I swear on the stars.’

Jeno lowered his eyes away from the crowd, quickly folding up his paper as he stepped away from the stand. He walked back to his seat, the only sounds being his footsteps and the various cries echoing around from family members and friends. He sank back into his seat, his eyes and heart empty as he watched the service continue.

He didn’t cry. Not for the entire rest of the service. And when it ended, he stood, and made his way towards the exit, not waiting for any of the boys, not waiting for your family, he just left.

Once he got outside, he leant against the wall and looked at the sky. He couldn’t see the stars yet, the sun was still shining down on him, but Jeno still spoke to you, whispering a quiet message for the wind to carry to you, wherever you were.

‘I love you.’

It didn’t take long for everybody else to leave the building, the service being over. The coffin was carried carefully to the burial site, and Jeno stood to the side, watching as it was lowered in with care. Once it disappeared from sight, once you disappeared from sight for the final time, Jeno shut his eyes, finally allowing his tears to escape.

Your parents said a few final words, and everybody started to disperse. The entire part of the service after Jeno’s speech had gone like a flash to him, with him barely aware of what was going on, his body and mind numb from the pain he was recently so used to feeling.

The boys had been sitting further back than Jeno, and were making their way towards him when your family got there first. Your father reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it lightly. He gave Jeno a sad smile, one that he returned as your father’s eyes filled with tears.

‘She would have loved your speech Jeno.’

Jeno didn’t reply, because he didn’t trust himself to speak without completely breaking down. Your mother gently stroked some hair out of his face, cupping his cheeks gently and Jeno failed to hold it in. He couldn’t stop the few tears that slipped down his face, onto the fingers of your mother as she looked at him the same way you used to when he needed comfort.

‘She loved you, so much.’

Jeno nodded. ‘I know, I loved her too.’ He choked out quietly, accepting the hug that your mother pulled him in for and almost losing it at the words she whispered into his ears.

‘She used to say that you were the best thing that ever happened to her. And I will always be thankful that it was you she fell in love with.’

She pulled away, giving him one last smile before the two of them walked away from the daughter they had just buried. 

Jeno turned around, only to be greeted with one of the boys.

‘The rest went to the car, they thought it would be best not to overwhelm you with questions at the minute.’ Hyuck spoke, Jeno nodding gratefully.

Hyuck stepped forward, knowing Jeno well enough to understand what he needed without it being said. He placed his hands on Jeno’s shoulders and pulled him in for a tight hug, one which could only be given by a brother. Jeno immediately wrapped his arms around his friend, burying his head into his shoulder and trying desperately to stop the silent tears that cascaded down his cheeks.

‘I’m not ready to let go.’ Jeno whispered, Hyuck replying after a second pause.

‘I know.’

---

Jeno barely left his room in the two weeks it had been since you had been buried. Yet he still visited you everyday. It was the only time he got out of bed. Otherwise he just lay there, only moving when the pillow got too wet from the constant tears that fell from his face. His parents had wanted to get him and bring him back home, but he refused. It was too far away from you, and he’d promised he would always be close to you, to protect you.

All of the dreamies had tried to help him, tried to get him to get up, to eat, to take a shower, but it was all in vain. They had all come in with food and pleas for him to just sit up, but he never replied. He didn’t have the energy to.

Jeno heard his door creak open and didn’t even bother to open his eyes to see who it was. It didn’t matter. He could hear hushed voices, before soft footsteps as whoever it was approached his bed.

His bed slightly dipped as they say on the end of it, gently moving some of his hair out of his face. Jeno flinched at the sudden contact, not expecting them to touch him and forced his eyes open to look at who it was.

He was greeted with Jaemin smiling sadly down at him. Jeno allowed his eyes to flicker to his clock, the red numbers spelling out 16:21, and all he did was sigh and let his eyes lose focus as he stared into space. It wasn’t like time meant anything to him anymore. Jaemin didn’t try to speak, instead placing the tray of food he was carrying down on Jeno’s bedside table, before reaching up and twisting the blinds slightly so that a crack of light filtered into his room.

Jeno stared at the dust particles he could see floating gently in the midday sun. They seemed so light, so free... Jeno had forgotten what that felt like without you. Eventually, Jeno spoke.

‘I’m not hungry.’ Jeno croaked out before shutting his eyes again, not even having the energy to roll over.

Jaemin sighed before taking a seat on his bed. He pulled the duvet down slightly from his friend’s face, trying to give him more room to breathe, but Jeno held onto it tightly.

‘Jeno... I-’ Jaemin began softly.

‘It’s okay, Jaemin, you don’t have to say anything. You also don’t have to know what to say, I don’t think anyone does.’ Jeno interrupted, stopping Jaemin in his tracks. Jaemin shut his eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing.

‘Yes I do, because this is killing you Jeno. And I’m really scared because... I don’t know how to bring you back.’ Jeno could feel the tears start to well up behind his closed eyes and screwed them shut even tighter. ‘I’m not going to remind you that it happened and life moves on, because that’s bullshit. I’m actually going to tell you to ignore the company.’

That caught Jeno’s attention, he opened his eyes and looked at Jaemin with a curious gaze.

‘What about the company?’ He asked, sitting up slightly as Jaemin shifted uncomfortably, making it clear he said something he shouldn’t have. ‘Jaemin, what about the company?’ 

‘They want you to come back to work.’ Jaemin confessed, making Jeno blink in surprise. ‘Since the fans didn’t know about your relationship, they are struggling to come up with excuses as to why you’ve disappeared for almost a month and... they want you to come back to work. I’m sorry Jeno.’

Jeno didn’t reply for a second, instead just bit his lip and nodded.

‘Why are you sorry?’ He asked. ‘It wasn’t your idea. You didn’t tell me to go back to work. You didn’t kill her.’ His lip began to tremble as he continued to speak. ‘You weren’t the one who let her leave that night.’

‘Jeno what are you saying?’ Jaemin asked, his voice no more than a whisper.

‘I shouldn’t have let her go.’ Jeno admitted, finally voicing the guilt that had been weighing him down since the accident. ‘I told her to stay, but when she insisted on going home, I let her. And that’s when it happened. I should have told her to stay with me, I should have fought harder.’

‘Jeno you didn’t know what would happen.’ Jaemin attempted to comfort his friend, his own voice breaking slightly as the tears began to well up in his eyes.

‘That doesn’t matter. I could have saved her if I had just told her to stay. And now, now I’ll never see her again.’ Jeno’s voice cracked as the tears began to fall again, steady tracing their familiar paths down his cheeks. ‘She’s never going to get to live her life, and now I’m expected to just move on and live mine, acting as though she didn’t get her’s ripped away from her. I could have made her happy and I just... I let her down.’

Jeno brought his hands up to his face, rubbing his eyes before he pulled at his hair, the quiet sobs shaking him. Jaemin stared at his friend for a few seconds before finally allowing a few tears of his own to escape.

Then he began to speak.

‘You’re right. She got her life ripped away from her, and she’s never going to live the rest of it. She’s never going to do the things she wanted to, visit the places she’d dreamed of or achieve goals she’d had for years. And maybe she didn’t get the “happy ever after” that the two of you always talked about, but she still got her happy ending. It wasn’t the one you were planning, it wasn’t the one that any of us were planning, and it definitely wasn’t the one that any of us wanted, but she still got one didn’t she?’ Jaemin could feel the emotion begin to take over him, and, despite how hard he could, he couldn’t stop himself from crying as he continued to talk. ‘She was surrounded by so many of us and her friends, and she was always smiling and laughing. She was finally enjoying her studies, no matter how difficult she sometimes found them. She lost herself in her passions, always finding a way to zone out while focusing on them. And most importantly, she was in love, and she was loved. I know how cruel it is that life was ripped away from her, just at the moment she finally began to really appreciate and enjoy it, but just because she was taken too soon doesn’t mean she wasn’t happy. Y/n was truly happy before she died, maybe the happiest she had ever been. Yes, her story has ended. There are no more chapters to read, no more pages to turn except the final one to close the book, but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t a happy ending for her.’

Any hope Jaemin or Jeno had had of not breaking down in tears was completely ruined by the time Jaemin had finished talking. Both of the boys were practically sobbing, heartbroken at having lost someone they had both deeply cared for.

Jeno sat up fully, reaching his arms out towards his best friend and Jaemin wasted no tie in meeting him. He hugged his friend tighter than he had ever hugged him before, holding onto him as if he would slip through his fingers like you did.

He sat like this for minutes, not having the strength in himself to let go and trust that Jaemin would return to him. Eventually though, he managed to pull away, taking multiple shaky breaths as he calmed himself. Jaemin kept a hand on his friend’s arm, a reminder that he was there.

Jeno opened his eyes and looked towards the food that Jaemin had placed on his bedside table. Instead of looking at the food however, a framed photo caught his eye.

It was a picture of you and Jeno, one that had been taken by one of the boys when the two of them were napping. You were lying half on top of him, one hand placed comfortably on his chest and your head was tucked into his neck. Jeno couldn’t see his left arm as the picture had only been taken of your upper bodies, but he knew it was holding your waist while his right arm was showing in the picture to be tightly wrapped around your shoulders.

Jaemin followed his friend’s gaze towards the photograph, biting his lip to stop the tears again. He watched as Jeno reached out and picked it up, his fingers gently caressing your sleeping face. A soft smile came across Jeno’s face, the first smile that Jaemin had seen on him since your death.

Jaemin reached out and grabbed the tray he had brought in with him. He placed it on Jeno’s lap telling him quietly to eat before he got up and walked towards the door, giving his friend some privacy.

Jeno kept looking at the photograph, staring down at the face of the one who he loved so much. He still loved you, losing you hadn’t diminished his feelings for you at all. And he knew that if you were here you would be heartbroken that he wasn’t taking care of himself.

So Jeno picked up his food, and took a bite.

---

Jeno headed back to work a couple of days after his conversation with Jaemin. He started with dance practice, getting back into the routine of dancing for multiple hours a day with few breaks. He was getting back into it, reminding himself of what it used to be like and also finding it to be a distraction.

He had missed the way he used to lose himself in his dancing, allowing the music to take over his body and just to move to it as he felt best. It wasn’t quite the same as before, it felt as though something was missing, but it was better than nothing.

The boys didn’t have a comeback planned just yet, although they were being assured that something was in the works. Instead, they were performing at an event, therefore needed to be at the top of their game. It would be the first time the fans had seen Jeno in a month.

The company and boys had collectively agreed to not mention where Jeno was, their goal was just to avoid the topic entirely and hope that fans would just be happy that he was back. If they really needed to address it, they had warned Jeno that they would simply say he had a personal matter to attend to that involved him losing someone close to him and would ask for their respect on his privacy about the matter.

The boys were taking a quick break for lunch, Jaemin and Chenle had lost rock paper scissors so they were out buying food, Mark, Renjun and Jisung were filling up water bottles and Hyuck had gone to the bathroom so Jeno was alone in the practice room.

He sat with his back against the wall, the fan directed at his face as he took a sip from his water bottle and tried to cool down. He thought back to the time before everything happened, and how he would always pull out his phone to check something or would be doing other things during their breaks, but now he was content with just looking at the wall on the other side of the practice room.

He heard the squeak of the door and looked to see who was entering, expecting it to be one of the dreamies, so he was surprised when he saw Doyoung enter. 

Doyoung smiled at Jeno as he entered, receiving a nod back from the younger boy. He walked forwards and Jeno stood up to hug his older member. Doyoung held onto him tightly, not saying anything as he didn’t want to upset Jeno.

When he pulled away he saw that Jeno wasn’t crying, nor were his eyes watering. Jeno gave him a small smile that barely reached his eyes and Doyoung patted his head.

It was the first time Jeno had seen Doyoung in a while, the 127 members having been told to give him space rather than smother him with questions and reassurance.

‘How are you feeling?’ Doyoung asked, his voice as gentle as everyone else’s was when they talked to him, as if their voice could break him if it was too loud.

Jeno took a deep breath, before shrugging and giving an honest reply.

‘I haven’t felt anything in a really long time.’

---

Sobs tore from the broken boy’s lips. Jeno had always been so happy, so full of life, people used to smile just by looking at him. Now all he got were sympathetic glances and hushed whispers behind his back. He was losing weight, he was losing sleep, but most of all, he was losing himself. The sunshine personality that seemed to previously define him no longer existed. None of his older brothers realised how much Jeno had relied on you to be happy, and now that you weren’t around anymore, it was becoming clear how much he needed you to function. The darkness residing inside of the boy no longer had your light to drive it away. Every manipulative word, every poisonous ‘what if’ every single other possible way that night could have gone ran through his head. And no one knew how to save him.

Jeno lifted his eyes, staring at your name carved eternally in stone in front of him. He came here every day without fail. Always bringing with him a story, or a love letter or a confession, anything so that he could talk to you the way he used to. And he made sure that he never said the same thing twice. Today, Jeno convinced himself to say the one thing he had been putting off, for the sake of his own sanity. But now, he realised that sanity was overrated, and maybe if he hadn’t put things off, if he hadn’t constantly pushed them to the side, he wouldn’t be in this situation. So he sucked up his pride, and spoke, choking through his words as his voice trembled and broke with emotion.

‘You told me to listen to a certain song, or watch this film, and I always said I’d do it later. Well, it’s later now, and I’m listening and I’m watching, but you’re not here for me to tell you how I felt about them. Why is it that I could only be bothered to listen to your recommendations after you’re gone? Why couldn’t I care enough before you died?’

He leaned down, resting his forehead on the cool stone that held the last memory of his soulmate, choking out one final whisper. 

‘You said you’d grow old with me...’

---

‘Did you know it’s possible to die from a broken heart? Extreme emotional trauma can cause tears in the heart that lead to muscle failure which can eventually lead to death. It’s called broken heart syndrome.’ Jeno spoke quietly, his raspy voice cutting straight through to Renjun’s soul. ‘They say it feels similar to a heart attack, that’s why it’s dangerously misdiagnosed.’ He let out a shaky breath, turning his eyes towards the sky. He focused on the stars, the bright dots that got gradually more blurry due to the tears gathering in his eyes. ‘I always heard the phrase “my heart aches” but I had no idea that it was actually possible to really feel pain in your heart.’

He turned his eyes away from the endless night sky and looked at his friend, who was also sitting on the roof and watching him talk with tears of his own in his eyes. Renjun bit his lip as Jeno continued to talk.

‘But now... now I know. I know just how painful it can be.’ Jeno’s voice broke as Renjun choked back a sob of his own, hugging his knees into his chest and burying his head into his arms.

‘It’s not fair.’ Renjun’s muffled voice spoke out as he tried to pull himself closer to provide some sort of comfort. ‘She didn’t deserve this.’

Jeno shook his head, the tears that were falling felt all too familiar.

‘No she didn’t... she was a star.’ He readjusted his gaze so that he was studying the sky again. ‘My star.’ He whispered. ‘She loved to stargaze. Even though the endless concept of space scared her slightly, she loved seeing something bright shine fearlessly through the darkness. She said they were brave... to be themselves when everything around them is something different and that’s why stars shine the way they do. I always silently hoped that she knew that that was what she was to me. A star in the darkness, lighting the way when I couldn’t see anything. One like the north star, always there, never burning out and guiding people whenever they need it. I never told her... Why didn’t I tell her? Renjun, why didn’t I tell her?’ His voice was no more than a whisper now, one almost lost amongst the night.

‘I don’t know Jeno.’ Renjun admitted back, his voice just as quiet.

‘Well it doesn’t matter now does it? All that matters is, I could’ve told her how much she meant, how important she was, and I didn’t. And now... now I never can.’

Renjun pulled his legs away from his chest, laying them flat on the concrete beneath him and reached his arms out for Jeno. The taller male wasted no time in curling up into his friend, pulling himself into a ball as he let himself cry.

Renjun simply stroked his hair, feeling helpless as to how he could help. Right now the only person Jeno needed was you, and you were never coming back. What scared Renjun the most was that he knew your death was permanent, but there was no telling as to how permanently it had broken Jeno.

‘She’s watching over you, Jeno.’ Renjun reassured his friend, trying as best he could to calm the crying boy down. ‘She’s one of those stars up there, looking down on you now and telling you that you can do it. She may not be next to you anymore, but she’s always going to be here. She may have died, but her memory won’t, because you won’t let it.’ Jeno’s breaths gradually got steadier as he listened to Renjun’s comforting words. ‘Do you know which star I think she is?’ Renjun asked and Jeno nodded slowly as he turned his eyes to the sky. ‘That one... because it’s the brightest.’

Jeno followed Renjun’s finger to spot the star he was pointing to, and he wasn’t wrong, it was without a doubt, the brightest one in the sky. Jeno smiled sadly, nodding in agreement.

‘That’s my girl...’ Jeno whispered to himself, unable to take his eyes off the star Renjun had dedicated to you. Right then and there Jeno suddenly realised that he knew something for certain. You would always be with him, no matter where he went. And that as long as he had you, he would be okay.

---

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting, it just means letting go. You were never going to grow old, never going to go stargazing with him again, never going to have discussions about the meaning of life at 2am, never going to play with your kids on the playground, never going to kiss his cheek and stroke his hair while telling him to breathe. And it isn’t supposed to be okay, but in the end, it has to be. Life doesn’t wait for you to come to terms with it, it moves on, even when you aren’t ready for it or it isn’t fair.

Jeno is trying. He’s trying to think less about everything you missed out on, and more about everything that he got to experience with you. He likes to think about how you made a point of going to the same frozen yogurt place on your way to visit him at work, just so that you could try every flavour there, even though you already had your favourite. Or about the way you tried to learn a new constellation for each time the two of you went stargazing just so that you could teach it to him. And he fondly remembers your dedication to laughing at every single one of jokes, even the ones he knew weren’t funny. And he can never help but smile when he remembers the feeling of coming back into your apartment after a long day, and immediately being pulled into dance to whatever music you were playing while you made dinner, and how it was as if all the stress of the day melted off him.

Jeno now knows that you were right. Nothing ever really does end. Not a story, not a relationship, not a life. Even though your story may have come to it’s finish, it still lives on. Your heart may have stopped, but you are still living in the lives of those who you touched. Jeno sees you in everybody. He sees you in Jisung’s hopeful nature, the way he always tries to see the good in situations that otherwise seem dire. He sees you in Donghyuck’s ability to lift his spirits, even when he hasn’t smiled in days. He sees you in Chenle’s honesty, how he can always rely on Chenle to give him the truth when he asks for it. He sees you in Renjun’s inquisitive nature, the way he always wants to know more about the world and the universe, or in the way he always points out the brightest star in the sky. Just like you used to. He sees you in Mark’s reliability, the way that, no matter how stressed out he was feeling or how busy he was, when Jeno needed him, Mark was there. And Jeno sees you in Jaemin. He knows that you connected with Jaemin more than Jaemin had ever admitted, and Jeno also knows that losing you hurt a lot more than his friend had let on. He sees you in Jaemin’s attempts to keep himself together, because he knew that Jeno needed him. He sees you in Jaemin’s habit of bringing him a meal on the nights he knew that he hadn’t eaten. He sees you in Jaemin’s determination and drive to continue with what he was passionate about no matter the challenges it proposed. And he sees you in his smile. In the pure, unedited happiness that always radiated off his best friend when he smiled.

Jeno can’t help but see you everywhere he goes. He sees you in the snow gently falling to the ground, remembering how you would always insist on going outside when it started snowing, no matter what time of day it was. He sees you in the rain splashing on the pavement outside the dorm, remembering how you loved to curl up on his chest with a book, always liking the window slightly open because the smell and sound of rain comforted you. But most of all, more than anything, he sees you in the sun. The golden beams that warm his cold being, gently caressing his limbs remind him of how you would gently rub your hands over his aching muscles. The way that everything revolves around the sun, the way that without it, the world would be dark and empty, reminds him of the importance you had. How much you meant to him.

Jeno will never forget you. He told you this when you were alive, he’s said it to the boys, he repeated it at your funeral and he’s told it to your grave multiple times since then. But he doesn’t need to say it anymore, because you’ll never leave him. And that’s not because you touched everyone around you, but because you touched him. You had such a massive impact on his life that Jeno knows he will never be the same. He wouldn’t be able to forget you even if he tried.

Jeno’s learnt a lot over the past few months. He’s learnt that death didn’t happen to you. It happened to everyone around you. It happened to everyone who you left behind, everyone left standing at your funeral wondering how they’re going to live the rest of their lives without you in it. He’s learnt that, sometimes life throws you curveballs, sometimes it makes you live a reality you would do anything to avoid, but he’s also learnt that it doesn’t give you a choice. Most importantly, however, he’s learnt that he doesn’t owe it to you, to himself, to the sun, or even the stars to grieve forever.

Because letting go of you is the hardest thing that Jeno has ever had to do.

And it took him a long time, but eventually, finally, Jeno learned, sometimes letting go, hurts less than holding on.

‘Sleep well, my love. You’ve earned it.’

[lizbotw]

Oikawa, Akaashi, Kuroo, Kenma, and Nishinoya With a S/O that Has a RBF and Can Be Moody

Anonymous said:

Hi! Can you do Oikawa, Akaashi, Kuroo, Kenma, and Noya with an S/o that has a resting bitch face and gives off a strong “dont talk to me” aura when moody or tired?

hey! these took me a while to finish so i hope you like them ♡

Oikawa Tooru

He’s used to people praising his personality, all sweet words and thoughtful gifts. What he wasn’t used to was someone other than Iwaizumi blowing a fuse in response to his actions, especially if it was over something miniscule.

You had forgotten your water bottle in the gym after your daily P.E. class, but with your lunch period having already passed, you had no choice but to wait until the end of the school day to go pick it up, lest you get scolded by a teacher for “skipping class” and going to do something deemed “unnecessary” during their precious class time.

And so you impatiently waited out the last few classes of the afternoon before you hurried to the gym, hoping that no one had moved your bottle. (If you had to go run to the lost and found because someone had placed it there, you swore you would just about scream—you were tired and wanted to go home, plus the extra time spent going on a wild goose chase for the object meant you might actually miss your ride home if you didn’t hurry).

You shoved open the gym doors unceremoniously—after-school sports clubs were already gathering in the room for their pre-practice warmups—and you kept your eyes focused on the area in front of you, wanting to get in and out quickly.

You squinted a little at the familiar shape in your line of sight. Ah! There it is. In the distance you could make out your water bottle resting upon the same bench you had left it on, and you jogged over to it, swooping it up and slinging your backpack down and off of your shoulders in one movement. Your bag landed on the bench with a thump and the hiss of the zipper when you tugged the main compartment of the bag open were all you were focused on.

While you were shoving around a few books in your bag, trying to make room to squeeze the water bottle in, you failed to notice the intense stare you had earned from one of the very sports players you had ignored on your way in.

“Hey! Can I help you?” A chipper, smooth voice was the culprit.

You whirled around at the sound, water bottle half shoved into your already overcrowded bag.

Just your luck. The infamously chatty Oikawa Tooru had been the one to seek your company the one time you were actually in a rush. Resident pretty boy and captain of the volleyball team—of course you knew who he was.

His smile was charming and even in his normal workout clothes, you had to admit he still looked good.

And you also had to admit that while any other day this would have been a great conversation to have, right now you were so over it.

You ignored his attempt at conversation and focused on finishing up here and leaving, turning back to your bag and silently praying for the water bottle to just go in.

He was taken aback by your lack of response, but, never one to give up, he tried again.

Next to you on the bench, he gently placed down the small towel he had slung over one shoulder, along with his own water bottle, looking at you out of the corner of his eye as he set them down—he kept his grin on, although it was beginning to waver at your lack of reaction.

“This is the volleyball bench, so that’s why I was wondering if you needed something. We don’t usually let people stay and watch us practice, but you know, I’m feeling generous today so if you want to-”

You straightened up, backpack now firmly placed over your shoulders and water bottle secure inside. Your eyebrows had furrowed into an annoyed expression out of habit and thus an involuntarily glare was given to the captain. “Yeah, no thanks. I’ve got to go,” you mumbled, barely feeling like talking—seriously, how could someone have so much energy after school?

Oikawa watched as you left the same way you had come, confused and slightly appalled by your behavior. It took Iwaizumi giving him a firm punch to the arm and an order to “get back to stretching, dumbass, I’m not dealing with you pulling a muscle later and whining, I fucking swear,” to get him to go back to work.

Your interactions were minimal much of the time, but as though fate drew you together, you found yourself having many more similar interactions with the captain, much to your dismay. You didn’t hate him per say, but you definitely couldn’t stand his radiant, flirty personality when you already felt half-asleep after a long day.

First it was your friend leaving their water bottle in the same place you had and them begging you to go get it and give it to them first thing when you saw each other tomorrow because they had to go home right after school today for some reason.

Next it was someone forgetting their phone and you offering to go get it because they had done you a favor that one time a few weeks ago and you wanted to return it.

Then it was a whole textbook (what are you even doing with a textbook in the gym anyway?).

The cycle went on and on, and each and every time Oikawa was there, you used to his cliche conversation starters by now. It became a sort of routine, a game, and when your brain was clear from the throes of sleepiness later, you would mull over the interactions and realize that you actually enjoyed them.

It was quite the shock for Oikawa when he ran into you during lunch one day and you were bubblier than he had ever seen you (you were still filled with energy after a long night’s rest and school hadn’t sapped all of your vibrancy for the day just yet—plus you were excited that it was lunchtime), even being greeting him enthusiastically with a “Hey, Oikawa!” and waving to him when he had called out to you (he expected you to ignore him so he was frozen in shock for a moment at your display).

At some point, lunchtime hangouts between the two of you became the new routine, and from there the routines slowly continued to change and evolve until you two were miraculously dating. (The new routine was now stopping by the gym after school, even if you hadn’t forgotten anything there, to give him a goodbye kiss and a “Good luck with practice, babe!” before you headed home. The alternative routine was that you finally took up that offer he had made on that very first day about you staying to watch practice, and afterwards he would walk you home, you two stopping in a convenience store to buy ice cream before you got far. You both seemed the enjoy the latter a lot more.)

Oikawa, observant as he is, figured out that you become “pouty” when you were tired (you were sitting on his bed and doing homework with him when he announced that as though it was some sort of profound realization, and you hit him overhead with a pillow because why did you just described it like that, Tooru???).

He’s pretty good about giving you space when you need it, although most of the time, even if you’re sleepy or upset and don’t want to deal with anyone, he’s still liberal with the affection he gives you, knowing that you secretly love the attention. He just has to look past your sharp words to see what you really want and at this point you’re pretty sure he’s a mind reader.

When you’re not feeling tired and overworked, he knows you can actually be pretty sweet, so if he sees you staring off into the distance, your not-so-neutral resting face on, he’ll absolutely annoy the hell out of you because once you crack that million dollar smile? He’s done for (but he likes the pain of his heart beating wildly around you so it’s okay).

He’s just an absolute sucker for how angry you look most of the time but how you’re simultaneously the most supportive person he’s ever met underneath it all (in some ways it reminds him of Iwaizumi, although you’re less… prickly than Iwa seems to be much of the time; that and you don’t throw volleyballs at his head whenever he messes up a play during practice—most of the time that is).

Akaashi Keiji

The literal calmest couple ever that simply likes to stick to themselves—that’s the initial impression many have of you two.

That couldn’t be further from the truth though. Despite your outward appearance, you were quick to crack smiles around just about anyone (you got along well with Bokuto for this very reason), and Akaashi had proven to be unexpectedly playful at times as well (it was mostly around you and his team though, so that side of him was relatively unknown).

Akaashi wasn’t put off by how you appeared at all—that sort of thing didn’t really matter to him—and the faithful pairing up of you two together for a group project finally gave you the opportunity to talk.

He’s generally good with dealing with just about anyone, so while he was surprised once you started talking his ear off about the project, outwardly he didn’t so much as bat an eye, simply listening to you ramble on and responding when appropriate.

Once you two are together, quiet evenings become common, you most likely laying on his chest and scrolling through your phone while he holds a book above his head, the only noise being the flipping of the pages. Evenings like those are exactly what you need when you’re feeling overworked and want to snap at just about everything, and Akaashi is quick to soothe you—with even just a few words from him you can already feel yourself feeling better.

He secretly takes pride in the fact that others may look at your moodiness and intimidating appearance and shy away, meanwhile he’s able to actually understand you (also he has experience with Bokuto so literally just hit him with all you’ve got).

Together you two can seem pretty intimidating and unapproachable, but you also look cool as hell walking through the hallways side by side so it’s a necessary sacrifice.

Akaashi picked up the habit of taking pictures of you when you’re not looking because you look amazing with your neutral face and fierce expression, but also when you’re joking freely with him, eyes screwed shut and mouth open as laughter spills out, you’re simply stunning. He likes the duality and sees something poetic in it because of course he does.

He loves looking through his camera roll sometimes and just scrolling and seeing you simply minding your own business and looking out the window in one picture, but then getting up to all sorts of trouble in the name of fun in the next.

He’d probably be embarrassed if you found out, although he quickly realized that he also likes to show you the pictures sometimes so you can see yourself exactly how he sees you, and you have to admit that some of the shots are breathtaking with how he seems to capture you in the perfect way (the lightning, background, and of course you all look amazing because he’s Akaashi and to him every detail should be just right, especially if it involves you) and when the pictures are paired together with the others, the contrast jumps out and you have to smile at that.

Kuroo Tetsurou

A mostly empty hallway, the two of you being the only ones there, was where it all started. An entire open hallway and of course, he still managed to bump into you somehow. (To be fair, you were tapping away on your phone, complaining to your friend over text about how you just wanted to go home already and take a nap because the test last period had been exhausting, and not paying attention to where you were going at all).

To his credit, he was quick to apologize, turning over his shoulder so you would catch his words, seeing as you two were walking in opposite directions. “Ah… sorry, I guess I wasn’t paying attention.” A light chuckle on the end tied up the apology nicely by adding a charming casualness to it.

You looked up from your phone with an annoyed expression, eyes narrowed, and sighed to yourself before you turned around to reply to him. “Maybe work on that next time,” you snapped. You were clearly exasperated and Kuroo was left blinking in bewilderment at the interaction.

You two were in the same class and although you knew of each other, you weren’t exactly friends—more like acquaintances, although Kuroo was wondering if he had missed the memo on when that title had switched to sworn enemies.

He decided to test this theory and tentatively bid you “good morning” when he got to class the next day. He had almost chickened out because you looked absolutely terrifying, almost as though you were going to bite whoever so much as glanced in your general direction.

Although you seemed confused at first at the fact that he was even talking to you, you gave a small, “Good morning?” back. (It came out as more of a question, but you know what? He’ll take it.)

Okay, so… you didn’t hate him? Or at least not as much it seemed?

And so Kuroo kept this up, always the first one to say “good morning” to you each day—it was sort of like a science experiment, him trying to gauge what you thought about him and test out his hypothesis (the mystery of that interaction in the hallway is what kept him at it, even as silly as it seemed).

You asked him at one point why he suddenly started talking to you and he quickly deflected the question, afraid you would catch onto his little research experiment, even as outlandish the possibility of that happening was.

Those were the first few interactions you two had and even now when Kuroo looks back on it he has secondhand embarrassment for his past self—what was he even doing?

Nowadays, now that you’re finally dating, he doesn’t question your moodiness, knowing that everyone has off days. He has also finally figured out that you two were never sworn enemies in the first place (although he thinks that this love story would have been way more interesting if that had been the case).

Whenever you’re staring off and looking serious, Kuroo loves to pinch your cheeks to snap you back to reality and even as often as he does it, you fall for it every time and honestly he can deal with the death glare you give him because then the small smile you can’t conceal comes out right afterwards (what he can’t deal with though is you withholding kisses from him because you said he didn’t deserve them after pinching you three times in the span of two hours, so after that one time you learned that that punishment was horribly ineffective because so clingy throughout it).

If you’re looking tired, simply down on your luck and annoyed at life, he doesn’t let it affect him and knows not to take it personally, slipping you a cup of tea to help you calm down and clear your mind, and sitting across from you at the kitchen table and watching you as you sip at the drink, ready to talk whenever you want. His affection is quiet in those moments, but you welcome it as much as you do his grand gestures of love—he always brings each type of support out at just the right moment and you find it hilarious that he had ever thought that you could hate him (you could never, not when he was like this).

Kenma Kozume

The fact that the first impression he had of you was that you weren’t in-his-face hyper was jarring enough—he was used to his teammates and their high energy shenanigans, so you were an anomaly in his eyes.

He wouldn’t exactly make a first move, or at least not for a while, but in class when he’s bored, head in his palm, elbow on the table, and drumming his pen against his desk absentmindedly, he would watch you out of the corner of his eye.

You confused him. You had tons of friends, Kenma knew that much about you, and he always overheard people talking about how much fun you were to talk to, yet here he saw none of that rumored playfulness. You were stone-faced as the teacher droned on, rigid in your movements as you copied down the notes from the board robotically.

Watching you write reminded him that he should probably do the same, but even as he went back to trying to focus on that day’s lesson and stared down at his notebook, you stayed on his mind.

He knew that not everyone always outwardly showed their entire personalities, but he had been watching you for what felt like forever and you never so much as cracked a smile. Surely that was unusual?

Kenma found himself itching to just walk up to you and say something—he hated not being in the know and… you seemed approachable enough. Even when he came to the conclusion to stir up a casual conversation with you to finally put his mind at rest, he was still surprised with himself when he actually did it.

He was even more surprised when you instantly brightened up when he talked to you, polite in your responses, yet not stiflingly so, the conversation flowing easily as you two jumped from one topic to another—he wasn’t even exactly sure what you two discussed, just that the words kept flowing out of him as he followed your lead, and for some reason he didn’t want it to end.

He’s not sure how it happened, but that one time conversation soon turned into multiple conversations and he found himself getting strangely attached to you, your excitable personality growing on him as time passed.

Kenma found it endearing how you could be upbeat and ready for an adventure most of the time, but that those times when you simply got tired or weren’t in the mood, you were the complete opposite, either wanting to talk to no one, or claiming that you wanted to talk to no one and secretly actually wanting someone to let you rest your head on their shoulder and just hold you (that’s what he was there for).

If he can tell you’re not in the mood to socialize, he won’t force you to do anything or talk about it if you don’t want to. He’s good at picking up the little cues you put out and you love him all the more for it.

Kenma knows what it feels like to just want some alone time, so it’s common for you two to just hang on in one of your bedrooms on weekends, each of you doing your own thing and not bothering one another. Sometimes one of you will just get up and move closer to the other person, cuddling up under their arm, and no words will be exchanged the entire time. (If you’re sitting between his legs while he plays a video game, he likes to lean down and give you a quick kiss on the forehead whenever he feels like it—come on, you’re right there, how could he possibly resist?)

Nishinoya Yuu

He’s used to Kiyoko outright ignoring him, and even any harsh words from her have him running to go tell Tanaka the “good news” about their latest interaction, so he wouldn’t be put off by your seemingly cold demeanor at all. In fact, he may be even more intrigued. He likes the chase after all.

You were sitting in class one day during a break, spacing off and simply watching your other classmates mingle around the room, and Nishinoya saw this as the perfect opportunity to talk to you, bounding over to you with a spring in his step.

He leaned down close to you, a mischievous smirk matching the playful lilt in his voice. “Hey, (Y/N)-”

He stopped short though when you turned to him smiling and returned the greeting without missing a beat. Wait, what?

In class you always looked bored out of your mind, or just plain angry to be here, unamused look in your eyes and the corners of your mouth downturned. He hadn’t seen you out of the classroom that much, or if he had, you had never been with your friends (so he had missed all the times when you joked around with them), either standing in the hallway alone waiting for someone and on your phone, or walking out of the school after class to head home and looking like you would absolutely fight anyone who prevented you from doing so. Even during group work in class, you were closed off—you had spoken the bare minimum during the majority of that one time that he had been paired up with you.

But now? You were a literal ray of sunshine. Nishinoya blinked at the sight, eyes wide, like a deer caught in headlights—and then a giant grin spread across his face. He liked this.

His constant high energy is a great contrast to your sometimes “just done with everything” appearance (also school was absolutely tiring, so it was more likely to catch you in one of your sleepy, unenthusiastic phases than not during particularly high stress weeks).

He’s amazing at dealing with the times you just don’t want to interact with anyone besides him, never forcing you to speak if you’re tired and instead filling up the empty space in the air with his own words while you lean against his chest, you two on his couch and watching a movie during the weekend.

He thinks you’re absolutely badass and the fact that people are easily intimidated by you at first glance is just awesome to him like yes! That’s his baby right there! You should be scared! (But then, of course, people come to realize you’re actually a giant teddy bear inside.) He may or may not ask you to give Asahi some confidence pointers because you both can give off the same energy at times.

Even when you’re in a bad mood, Nishinoya is as vibrant as ever and has an infinite amount of energy and love to devote to you. Sit down with him and just vent all of your frustrations and he’ll make you feel better about everything, hyping you up if you display any sort of worries, and actually racking his brain for solutions to your problems if you ask for his opinion on what you should do (it’s adorable when he sits there with his thinking face on, going full on serious boyfriend mode).

[ssoojinism]

BONNIE & CLYDE | pjm

Pairing ; criminal! Jimin x criminal! y/n

Genre : angst, nsfw (16+), crime au

Warning : alcohol consumption, kissing, graphic murder (pretty gory but some might find it isn’t, idk)

Plot summary :-

“you make this world a little wild, and we shout through crowded streets, turn up the noise and make it loud, and let the world fall at our feet,”.

The story of you living a reckless life with your boyfriend, Park Jimin as the most wanted criminal couple in the big city of Seoul. Inspired by Yuqi's Bonnie and Clyde and also the story of Bonnie and Clyde itself.

[next]

--

The atmosphere in the nightclub located in the center of Seoul is very noisy with the presence of young people dancing on the dance floor, enlivened with lively songs and colorful lights flooding the dark room. The smell of alcohol filled the space mixed with the smell of sweat from those who were still fiercely dancing at the middle of the club.

Meanwhile, in one corner, there was a woman sitting alone in a drinks bar accompanied by the alcohol she had ordered before. She was seen staring at another man who was also sitting not far from her sitting spot. The man who was also aware of her gaze turned around and carved a sweet smile, making the girl to shyly blushed. She then sipped on her drink to relieve the embarrassment before she got startled by a voice that suddenly greeted her out of nowhere.

“Are you new?” He asked.

His voice dripping with honey, not too deep and not too feminine as it’s sounds a bit raspy to her ears. A seductive smile and droopy eyes staring at her that had her heart beating a little bit too faster than usual.

“Kinda. I always want to try the alcohol here,” she said. He then stares at the glass in her hand.

“Martini. Nice one,” He complimented. “Whiskey sour is my favorite,” he added, showing her his half empty glass. She just smiled before he lifted his glass, signaling her for a cheer which she then clashed her glasses with his.

“What’s your name?” He asked first before sipping his drink.

“Yerin,”

“Cute. I’m Jimin,” He reached out for a handshake. Yerin happily accept it but when she about to pull back, Jimin tighten the grip of his hold while staring deep into her face, causing the girl to get flustered, especially when she saw the way his pupil dilated and get darker as he darted his tongue out to wet the bottom of his lips.

“I wonder if you’re…single?”

--

Her back slammed against the brick wall before Jimin once again hovered her to attack her lips for another messy, rough kiss. Yerin let out a breathy moan, her hands wrapping around his neck to deepen the kiss.

“Jimin, Jimin!” She tapped his shoulders for attention but he didn’t seem to listen when he continued to french kissing her like there is no tomorrow.

“Let’s get a room, yeah?” She suggested after she managed to get him off from her for a while. He pouted. “But I can’t wait any longer,” He whined.

Yerin blushed. “It’s embarrassing to have people watching,” She replied while looking around the alley. It was dark but anyone could freely walk in to them so she rather doing it in a closed area. “I will rent a room and I’ll let you do whatever you want, okay?”

Jimin’s lips curled into a mischief smile and nodded. He gets off to let her walk out from the alley towards the open streets but after like one or two step, her way got blocked by someone, judging from a strange silhouette in front of her.  

“Who-“

Yerin looked up and saw you, standing in front of her with switchblade in your hand, pointing towards her. Her brows connecting in a confusing manner.

She recognizes you. You are the woman sitting next to her at the bar back then. She remembers you ordering beer next to her and silently drinking while Yerin still busy having her great time with Jimin before.

But why are you suddenly show up like this? Pointing a knife at the base of her throat in a threatening manner like she doesn’t even know you!

Yerin doesn’t even get a chance to scream because you had slashed her neck open with the switchblade, the blood splatter on your black dress and some even landed on your face too.

The woman collapses lifelessly with her eyes still wide open. You breathe out meanwhile Jimin stepping out from the shadow with a grin.

“That was beautiful, baby!” He applauded, referring to the gruesome image in front of him. You sent him a glare before let out a grunt while walking away, earning a confuse look from your boyfriend.

“Hey! At least get her wallet! Gosh,”

Jimin get into the car after he managed to retrieve the wallet and some jewelry belongs to their previous victim and he saw you wiping the remaining blood on your face, even trying to erase the red lipstick painted on your lips but Jimin was quick enough to stop you from doing so.

“Why are you trying to ruin your lipstick? You know I like it,” He whined, lips jutting into a disappointed pout.

“Uh huh. I know. That’s why I wear this for you but I always ended up seeing you kissing someone else. So, what’s the point?”

You tugged your wrist back while Jimin drew a smile. “Come on. This is not the first time we doing this. You kissed and seduced someone else too. Fair and square, isn’t it?”

“You think I enjoyed it!?” you barked.

“Woah, chill their babe. Okay, I’m sorry, okay?” He apologized, bringing both his palm together in an apologetic manner. You instead glared at him, brows still creasing together.

“Fuck you!” Your snarl doesn’t intimidate him at all that he replied with a wide grin since he knew that you didn’t mean those words at all.

“I love you too,” he reached out for your face to cup them in his palm, squishing your cheeks gently that even you automatically leaned in for more contact since you’re too used to his affectionate touches.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” His whisper makes your eyes flicked up to meet with his face, at the same time making your expression to soften as soon as you met with the pretty face of him.

“Yes please,” With a nod, you answered. He didn’t let you wait for any other second as he crashed his plump lips on your soft one. You quickly buried your fingers into the his light blonde locks, messing them a bit while your lips busy moving in sync to his kiss as if they just found their rightful home.

--

When he arrived at the scene, he could see group of people circling around the area. Seokjin padded his way towards the crime site, carefully slipping in between the crowds who chattering and whispering at the sight of the forensic team busy taking photos and collecting evidence.

“Captain Kim,” Seokjin immediately turned around when his underling coming from behind. Namjoon then handed up some pieces of photos to him. It was the photograph of the victims and some close up to the wounds that was believed to be the cause of her death.

“Victim known as Shin Yerin, 26 years old was found dead by the bartender of the nearer club this morning. The body has been brought to the forensic for autopsy. They however assumed that the victim had been slit in the neck by a sharp weapon, thus being the cause of her death. After a few more research, victims also lost her jewelries and purse which led it to a murder and robbery case,” Namjoon summarized everything he could get from his early investigation.

“I believe the crime was committed by the same persons,” He added. Seokjin pursed his lips.

“It’s definitely them,” He sighed. He obviously was talking about you and Park Jimin.

You and Park Jimin are the infamous criminal partners that are currently being at the top of the police wanted list. Based on some witnesses, both of you are known to be a pair of attractive that would seduce their victims, lure them into a quiet spot to brutally murder them – by slashing their neck – before proceeding to fled along with valuable things belongs to the victims.

“This is their fourth victim, Captain…” Namjoon said with worries painted all over his face. “We can’t let them roaming around any longer. They will put more people in danger,”

Seokjin was silent for a while, staring at the chalk outlines that used to mark the original position of the dead victim.

“What did she do in her past?”

Namjoon let out a sigh, as if he knew what is running in his head when his superior began to throw that question. Namjoon flipped the notepad in his hand to read another information he has written down before.

“Shin Yerin, has a history involving hit and run case. The case happened around 2 months ago where she ran over a 12 years old boy. The boy died. She was arrested but later was released with no specific reason. I believe it involved bribery,”

Seokjin smirked. “Heh, I knew it,”

One thing he are sure about this couple is that they didn’t target just random people. Majority of their victims are people that have criminal past that most of them managed to get away from getting the punishment they deserve. For example, their previous victim is a man in 50s, whose the occupation is a teacher at one of the private schools in Seoul. He was once reported to have sexually assaulted some of his students, both boys and girls but he was freed from being sentence as they said that he lacked of evidence.

A week later, he was found dead in a car with his pants half undone other than the familiar slash on his neck which obviously, it was your doing.

Namjoon let out a low grunt which it immediately distracted Seokjin. “But it’s still doesn’t justify their actions, Captain. Murder is still considered as murder. Those are crimes and they need to be charged over it!” Namjoon exclaimed.

“You know something about them, isn’t it, Captain?” The younger squinted his eyes at him. “You are the only officer that managed to see their face. Why you didn’t give out their details when we ask for your testimony?”

Seokjin glared at him with brows a deep frown. “I told you that I barely saw their face. I don’t know how they look. Do you really think I’m lying? You doubt me?” The older guy had both his palm on his hips while staring deep into Namjoon’s soul.

“I’m sorry, sir. I did not mean to offend you. I’m just making sure,” Namjoon lowered his head, cowering at Seokjin’s sharp stare that didn’t stop from penetrating his face. It made him realized that he probably has spoken something he shouldn’t. Seokjin snorted.

“Whatever. Send reports on my table once they are done with the autopsy. Call me if you guys need anything,” Namjoon nodded. Seokjin turned his heels around as he slowly walking away, with Namjoon bowing at him while telling him to have a safe journey. Seokjin quietly fishing out his phone out of his jeans.

He slammed the door of his car shut once he entered it with his eyes still glued to the screen of his phone. It was shown that he was calling someone with “***” saved as the ID of the mysterious person. Seokjin quickly pressed his phone on his ears while eyes looking out if anyone is watching him at the moment.

--

Hums and giggles can be heard throughout the air. Clothes can be seen scattering on the floor of the hotel room and there’s also two figures hiding under the thick white comforters before one of them decided to pop out to take a breath after being confine under it for a long period of time. Jimin later on followed that he appeared on top of you just to cup your face and smooched your lips again and again.

The kissing got interrupted when your phone on the nightstand rang but you decided to ignore it by letting Jimin proceed with the making out, not even bothering to shove him to answer the call or anything.

But as the time goes on, the ringtones start to irritates your ears that you told Jimin to hold on so you could check on whoever the hell that was bothering you at the moment. Your eyes rolled when you see the ‘Captain Busybody’ ID popped up at the top of your screen. You never felt this confident when rejecting someone’s call, especially from that person.

“Is it him?” Jimin asked. You nodded, lips pouting.

“Ignore him,” He dived into your naked collarbone to leave another mark even though your skins are already full with his love bites he made from last night. But you never complain, instead you enjoyed the way his lips trailing down your skins, making it way to your stomach, lower and lower.

“Yeah, Jimin. Please eat me out, will you?” You demanded, inviting a Cheshire like grin on his lips.

“Of course, m’lady..”

You leaned back on the pillow, relaxing your body and let Jimin do his work when another ringing breaking the moment, making your eyes to shot open. An annoyed groan emits from your throat as you rolled to get the phone and answer it because if you don’t, he will definitely not letting you leaving in peace.

“What the fuck do you want?” No hello or hi, you straight growling at Seokjin. The male’s guess was right though.

“Sorry. Did I bother you?”

“You always bothering me. Are you not aware of that?”

“Is Jimin with you?” His question makes your eyes moving lower to look at your boyfriend who just came up to comfortably lying on your chest, one of his hand fondling with one of your boobs, treating them like a stress ball. When he saw you looking at him, he just draws an adorable smile without saying any words.

“He is. Now, what do you want?” You replied lazily.

“We found another bodies today,” His unimportant information makes you to rolled your eyes once again.

“Okay and?”

“You two did it?”

“So, what if we did it? That woman is one of the scums on this Earth too. Sleeping with your higher ups in return for a jail bail. She deserves to get her neck slashed by me,” You glanced at Jimin who obviously was proud by your witty answer. But, of course, Seokjin was not having it.

“You still can get arrested, y/n. You are literally one of the most wanted criminals right now along with Jimin! Do you ever plan to stop?”

“Blah, blah. Are you done? We are busy right now. If that’s what you want to talk about, I’m hanging up,” You wish you could throw your phone away and let Jimin fuck you senselessly like what he supposed to do.

“I’m being serious, Y/N!”

“So am I,” This time you sat up a little bit but your boyfriend still clinging on your chest, burying his face into your skin despite you have those annoyed frowns on your face since he know, the frowns aren’t made for him.

“Look, Seokjin. We broke up ages ago. Back then when you barely care about me as you are busy chasing your dream to be a police officer. Now, you got what you want and I’m happy with my life too,” Seokjin scoffed at your last statements.

“Your life? Your life as a criminal? Are you happy with that?” His question earned him a chuckle.

“Yeah, so what? I chose this. I don’t care about your nags or if you disagree with my choice, just stop sticking your nose into my business like you are my mother. We are supposed to be done long time ago!” You ended the call with a loud grunt before tossing them to the side of your bed. Jimin’s snuggling into your neck made you to close your eyes and taking a deep breathe to soothe your anger.

“You alright?” Your boyfriend brushing some strands of your hair that were sticking on your face. You nodded, drawing a tiny smile at him. He never fails not to make you feeling calmer everytime you look at those eyes. The eyes that deceive lot of people despite on how innocent they look.

“Yeah. You know, Seokjin just bothering me like what he always does,” You let out a sigh while brushing your hair back. Jimin smiled as he once again snuggling into your skins like a cat which only make you to giggle when his breathe tickling your skins.

“Understandable. I mean, I, too, wouldn’t stop bothering if you looking this gorgeous,” You burst into a laugh when his ticklish touch spreading to your sensitive spots on your neck that make you to fall your back on the mattress where even Jimin immediately get on top of you.

You stuck your tongue out to licked on your bottom lips as your palms running down his bare chest, your fingers dancing on the inked skins at his abdomen.

“I love you,” You whispered. Jimin tilted his head, lips never stop smiling at you while he rests his forearms above your head to support his weight. He somehow didn’t respond you right away to planted a soft kiss on your lips before he finally whispered something against your lips.

“I love you too,”

--

A/N : This is pretty short bcs its just introduction to the characters haha next chapter would be a flashback to y/n’s early backstory

[orpheous87]

A little thing that presented itself to me on my morning dog walk and wouldn’t leave me alone until it was written. I’ll put it on AO3 later, but for now, please enjoy.

Thank you to @purplehotmess for a wonderful betaing job on this ❤️

A Thousand Miles Apart (and I know I love you)

Harry laughed as he leaned back against Draco’s chest. They’d not been back long from a night out and everything was funny.

“I can’t believe you’re going on the international tour tomorrow,” Draco sighed, one hand absently combing through Harry’s hair. “Who will come out on wild nights with me while you’re gone?”

Harry laughed again. “I know. It’ll be over with before you know it, though.”

“I can only hope you don’t miss me too much to concentrate on the Snitch,” Draco deadpanned before laughing.

“You could come with me if you wanted,” Harry suggested, sitting up to look at Draco, who shook his head. “Friends are allowed to come.”

“I can’t. Just because I’m free of house arrest, doesn’t mean I’m free. I can’t leave the country for another six months.”

“Oh yeah,” Harry said with a frown, resuming his previous position and putting his head back on Draco’s chest. “I forgot about that.”

“Lucky you,” Draco muttered.

Harry’s frown deepened. Since Draco’s house arrest had finished three months ago, and he had turned up on Harry’s doorstep to both thank him and apologise to him, they’d slowly but surely become firm friends. In fact, they probably spent more time together than they did apart, now that their friends were busy starting their families (or in Pansy’s case, had moved to France).

At first it surprised Harry how easily they got on with one another now that all of the issues from their past had gone. He hadn’t felt animosity towards Draco for a long time.

Rolling onto his side, Harry looked at Draco. “I’m sorry. I will fire call you and send you owls every day I’m away if it helps.”

Draco snorted, a look of amusement passing across his face. “Like you’d have time.”

“I’d make time. Really, I would,” Harry replied. “You know I would.”

Draco sighed again. “You’re right. I do know you would. Listen, I’m getting tired now. Do you mind if we turn in?”

“Not at all. Let’s sleep.”

And sleep they did. Right there on the sofa because neither of them could be bothered to move. It wasn’t the first time they’d fallen asleep together and Harry was sure it wouldn’t be the last. There was an odd sort of comfort that came from having a warm body next to him, whether it was in bed or on the sofa, and he suspected that Draco felt the same.

***

Three weeks later, Harry found himself in the middle of an international Quidditch tour with Puddlemere United. They’d been through Europe and were now somewhere in Asia - Singapore, he thought - playing against some of the top teams in the world. He should have been happy. He loved nothing more than flying freely, and catching the Snitch, but every night after his team mates had left him in the bar of whatever pub they’d found that day, he couldn’t shake the feeling of loneliness and sadness that settled over him.

He had spoken to Draco a couple of times, but the time difference made it hard to schedule a call. The calls he had managed to make, though, had brought a smile to his face like no other. He’d been able to hear Draco’s mood lifting too as soon as he realised it was Harry on the other end.

On his third night in Singapore, while he was sleeping, Harry awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed. His skin was warm and clammy, glistening in the moonlight from the same sweat that was sticking his hair to his neck and forehead. His chest was heaving, his boxer shorts and the bedsheets were damp. He’d dreamed about Draco before, of course, but never like that. That had been something different. Something, he realised, he wanted more of and next time, he wanted it for real.

***

The next day, after securing himself an international Portkey, Harry stood on Draco’s doorstep. He’d waited for what felt like an eternity before the door was thrown open. Draco stood in front of him, bleary-eyed and his hair standing on end. Harry smiled.

“What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

Harry didn’t answer straight away. He’d rehearsed what he wanted to say the whole time he was travelling, but now that he was here with Draco in front of him, he’d forgotten what words were. Instead, not caring who saw them, he stepped forward and kissed Draco. It was more than a peck on the lips, but he stopped himself from taking it too far, and then he was gazing at Draco once more with his lower lip caught between his teeth.

Draco, who had definitely kissed back, was looking back at him with an open mouth. They were both breathing hard.

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, finally. “I’ve… been doing some thinking while I’ve been away.”

“So I see,” Draco replied faintly. “Do you want to come in?”

Harry nodded and followed Draco inside.

“Upstairs,” Draco said as he closed the door behind Harry. “Living room is too cold.”

Harry laughed softly and headed up the stairs to Draco’s room, kicking off his shoes as he went. They’d had many talks in the confines of Draco’s room, usually snuggled together under the duvet for warmth. This was not the Manor that Draco had lived in for most of his childhood, but a small terraced house in London itself. There was a small fireplace in the living room, but it couldn’t heat the whole house.

Settling themselves on the bed, Draco wrapped in his duvet, they looked at each other once more.

“Explain,” Draco said, softly. He sounded almost hopeful.

“I realised something. Last night, when I was in my hotel room in Singapore,” Harry began, frowning as he tried to put his thoughts into words. “For the last however many months, you and I have spent pretty much every waking minute together where we can. You occupy more of my thoughts than I ever knew. These last three weeks have been torture because you weren’t there. That’s not all. I had a dream last night. That you and I were… intimate.”

Draco inhaled sharply.

“Draco… I liked it. I immediately wanted more of those feelings that… well, that I imagined I felt with you.”

Draco shook his head.

Harry frowned, a look of hurt crossing his features. “N-no?”

“No! I mean, yes. But no, that… Harry. I fell asleep on the sofa and I had the same dream. But I don’t think it was a dream. It felt too real, I think we… somehow connected last night.”

Harry drew in a shaky breath. “Are you serious?”

Draco nodded, his cheeks turning pinker. “Yes. I’ve heard of it happening but it’s usually a mutual thing between a couple separated by distance. Not… two people who are supposed to be friends.”

“Friends isn’t enough,” Harry whispered, realising how close together they were. “I want more. I want you, all the time. Forever.”

“I want that too,” Draco replied softly. “But you… I’m…”

“Don’t. Don’t even think that,” Harry interrupted, recognising the look in Draco’s eyes. “What happened is in the past. It’s over. You’re moving on, you’re making amends. You deserve to be happy.”

“What about your reputation?”

Harry snorted. “Since when do I care what the papers think? They know we’re friends. They don’t have to like it, but they can’t expect me to care what they think. We have something special, Draco. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t be here in the first place.”

Draco smiled. “I suppose you’re right.”

“I know I’m right. So… should we give this a try?”

Draco’s smile turned into a smirk. “Only if we can have a replay of the ‘dream’. I’d like to see you come undone.”

Harry grinned. “I think that can be arranged,” he said, closing the gap between them and kissing Draco fiercely as he pushed him back onto the mattress.

[heavenbarnes]

what you’d do to me tonight

Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings/Contains: unprotected sex (this is fictional but yours isn’t, wrap it), alcohol consumption, fingering, dirty talk, coming inside, light dry humping

Word Count: 3.7k

i miss the plain fun and naughty ones, so take this one! (also this is definitely not based on my weekend a couple weeks ago hmm) x

Your cheeks were getting warmer by the minute, thanks to all your friends congregating in the one area. Also the unspecified alcohol that you occasionally swirled around your cup wasn’t helping the situation. But really, you couldn’t complain.

The team had found another excuse to party, this time being Steve moving into this lovely mid-city apartment, the one with the luscious balcony you were making a beeline for. You knew that stepping into the cold night air would cement just how much you’d had to drink, but you also knew it’d do wonders for the heat dancing over your skin.

The man situated by the flowerbed with a beer bottled held tight by metal fingers wasn’t going to help there.

Bucky had never looked better to you, the light through the glass door casting over his face like the golden hour. The glow from the city behind him made him nearly angelic. You’d never wanted him more.

Thankfully the “liquid courage” you took another sip of was planning to act as your wing-man tonight, guiding your feet to sit beside him on the bench.

“Beer pong not really your thing either?” Bucky asked, spreading out a bit further beside you.

Broad thighs spread until your knees were bumping each other, his right arm stretching out along the ledge behind you. It was as if he was trying to fill your space with as much of him as possible, until you were unable to think of anything but him.

You could’ve told him it was too late for that, he was already just about the only thing on your mind.

“Maybe, or maybe it’s just the shouting and chest bumping I don’t fuck with.” You both laughed together as you imitated the voices traveling from inside. As much as you loved your friends, they were a bunch of idiots sometimes.

You felt much better off in the breeze with Bucky, the guy you’d been stealing glances off from the moment you met. The guy who drove you crazy for no understandable reason, he just had a way.

Drinks long finished and partying dying down inside, you couldn’t even tell how long the two of you had sat outside speaking. It was good to get a moment alone, the alcohol brushing off any worries about what to say, just not wanting him to stop talking.

Maybe it was you, or maybe it was him, but the conversation seemed to naturally drift to one side, regardless of what you spoke about. It was hinted with flirtatious comments or gazes at one another, soon the comments becoming much more brash the longer you sat out there.

“You’ll just have to ask me for help next time!” He gestured between the both of you, eyes gleaming with mischief.

“Oh you’d be able to do it better?” You shot back, eyebrow raising in question.

“No doubt I’d stretch you out better than you’ve ever felt.”

You knew you were talking about training, but you also knew exactly where your mind went to, and you were willing to bet a pretty penny that his mind would meet you there.

Before you could stop yourself, your eyes were darting away from his and that heat was rising back to your cheeks despite chill air around you both. You were also unable to stop that smile that continued to pull at your cheeks.

Bucky turned to look inside, before coming back to you and purposefully searching for your gaze. Once you quashed the butterflies that his comment had conjured up, you realized he’d been waiting to ask something.

“Seems like things are packing up inside,” He gestured to the door as he began to stand. “Did you want to share a ride home, since we live pretty close to one another?”

You’d never heard him stumble on his words like this before, the man that always seemed to be self assured. You had sat and watched him charm a bar full of ladies (quietly smug with the way he’d left them all hanging to stay with you), and never miss a beat.

Now asking to share a ride was making a blush creep onto his cheeks and his mouth to dry up? Who would’ve thought.

Graciously agreeing, you took his outstretched hand to lift you off the seat you hadn’t left all night. Trying your hardest to keep your cool, you couldn’t help but chew your lip at the way he continued to hold onto it as you both went inside the house.

It was late, you were cold, and you’d be unforgiving tomorrow morning if you stayed any later. You still felt a twinge of sadness at the idea of having to call this night to an end, where you truthfully could’ve sat for a lifetime and flirted your little heart out.

Everybody was little too sizzled to even notice your hands intertwined and your leaving together, let alone make snarky remarks about it. It gave the both of you a moment to slip down the stairs and into the elevator, back into the caress of the night air.

You had to keep reminding yourself that this wasn’t going home together, that you’d got this far and you should be mighty proud of this. It was all baby steps, just chatting tonight was a good amount of baby steps, and you’d try some more next time.

Sitting beside him in the rideshare, you both chattered back and forth about whatever rolled off your tongues. A keen combination of the mostly worn-off alcohol and the desire to make the most of the only time you two had alone, you silently begged the driver to take a long way home.

The car pulled up outside your home, Bucky getting out to start his short walk to his own place. Before this, you both stood under the street lamp, quietly waiting for each other to go first. Smoothing your clammy hands on the front of your jeans, you let out a long breath as you knew this night was coming to a close.

“Thank you for tonight, I really enjoyed just spending time with you.” It was easy to let the honesty fall from you, even if there was a tinge of embarrassment at the truth.

Bucky’s smile sated all those nerves, looking up from the pavement to you. “I think this is the most fun I’ve had at one of these parties, I’ll have to start looking for you in every crowd.”

Your heart fluttered at the words, knowing that watching him turn and walk to his own house was going to hurt like nothing else. You nodded in agreement, muttering a sentiment about doing the same kind of thing. As you brought your eyes back to the ground, you saw his feet start to shuffle.

Watching him step backwards, you came to terms with it in your head. This was how it was always going to go, you just had fun as friends, there was no way that anything was going to-

Bucky stopped in his tracks and if you didn’t know any better, you would’ve sworn his eyes got darker.

“Are you going to invite me inside or do I have to beg?”

Between nodding and fumbling in your bag for your keys, you turned on your heel to let yourself into the building. In that moment you felt Bucky’s form just moments from your back, the soft ghosting of his breath against your neck. You hoped he couldn’t see the way your knees buckled with the close proximity of him.

Bringing him into the foyer of your building, you reached out and pressed the elevator button, seeing it was currently at the top floor. Turning back to see Bucky, he was right there and looking to you expectantly. 

It felt as if the world slowed down, you could see and feel every second rushing past you as his hands came to grasp your hips. With a mind of their own, your hands raised up and curled into his hair, the soft strands brushing past your skin. Bucky lent in slowly and you hadn’t realized you’d shut your eyes until you were surprised by the feeling of his lips against yours.

His kisses felt powerful, he was always had a very dominating presence and this was evident in the way he held you and brought his tongue against yours. Tugging onto his hair, you brought him down closer to you as you felt his hands move around to your behind. Two eager handfuls, he pulled you into his front when you heard the bell of the elevator.

Pulling away from him in an instant, you gave him a cheeky smile before humming “that’s us” and stepping through the sliding doors. Bucky shook his head, unable to help the smile at your coy nature. Once the doors closed again, he was quickly pulling you back into him to get his lips back on yours.

It was evident he’d been waiting for this moment as long as you had, with the hunger in which he drew you in and refused to let you go. You heard him mumble against your lips and into your mouth, secrets he’d been waiting to admit for the longest time.

“I’ve been wanting to do this since the moment you skipped into my life.” 

Giggling at the sentiment, you remembered that was exactly how it’d happened. You hadn’t realized Bucky had thought that much about the day, the day you’d come twirling in and met him with a lazy smile and the brightest eyes. He’d kept it so well hidden that it took your hands cupping his jaw to get him to spit it out.

When the doors opened, you took his hand and led him towards your apartment, once again fumbling in excitement with your keys. The moment you had the door locked, Bucky took the lead again and pulled you through your house like he knew where he was going.

He’d been there before, for drinks and group gatherings, but when he was focusing on having the taste of your lips on his, he managed to bump into just about everything you owned. You giggled as you watched him trip on the recycling bin and bump his hip on the kitchen counter, until you braced your hands on his shoulders and pushed him into your bedroom.

Bucky’s legs hit your bed and fell back into it, propping himself up on one elbow as you walked over to him. Slinging a leg over his lap, you sat yourself up in it as Bucky moved back up and re-situated his hands on your waist. Running your hands up his chest, you felt the muscles tensing under your fingers as you followed your movements steadily with your gaze.

Looking up from the trail, you saw Bucky watching you carefully with an almost hunger behind his eyes. Grinning, he lent forward to nip at your bottom lip, pulling it forward with his teeth. Moaning into his touch, you raised yourself up to grind into his lap.

He hissed against your lips, feeling the drag of your heat pulling against him. The way you moved in his lap, it wasn’t long before you felt the outline of him pressing between your thighs. Something girlish and young within you wanted to scream “fuck, I’m making Bucky Barnes hard right now.”

Instead you kept your cool, bringing your hands under his shirt to run them flush against his skin. He felt so warm and so real, every dream you’d had about him was coming to life in front of you. Bucky’s fingers came to toy at the band of your jeans as his lips moved to kiss along your jawline.

“If you’ll let me,” His voice was rumbling in his chest and against yours. “Can I show you the things I’ve always wanted to do to you?”

You responded through the medium of pulling your shirt off and over your head and reaching behind you to do away with your bra. Bucky lent back on his hands, watching the little show in front of him with his lip between his teeth.

As you pulled the clothes off, you could steadily feel him hardening against you, the sheer sight of you revealing yourself was enough to drive him crazy. Still leaning on his metal hand, he brought his right one up to cup your breast, moving the soft flesh against his palm.

You tipped your head back as he ran his feather-light touches across your skin, raising bumps on it along the way and making you sight gently at the feeling. He inched ever closer to where you knew you needed him most, his fingers coming to the button of your jeans.

His eyes caught your own with a silent “may I?” before he dove into to somewhere he’d never come back from. Leaning in closer to him until your lips were back together, you whispered into your mouth.

“Bucky, if you don’t fuck me then I’ll make you sit back and watch as I do it myself.”

For as big and strong as he is, you managed to coax a whine out of his throat at the prospect of living up to your threats you laid before him. It felt fucking good to have him in the palm of your hand, to make this man fall apart before you.

He wrapped his arms beneath your ass and lifted you as he stood, before turning and laying you back on your bed. He threw his shirt off over his shoulder, leaning back over you to pull your jeans down your legs. Bucky took his sweet time with you, letting you watch as he got rid of his own pants.

He came to rest between your legs, hand trailing up your thigh and resting against your side. You couldn’t get enough of his lips on yours, fingers finding their way back into his hair as he began to rut his hips into your own.

Bucky felt right against you, like you were trying to work out why you’d taken this long to get yourself under him. Whipped from your thoughts, Bucky slipped a finger under the band of your underwear, running against the sensitive skin.

You made the decision to forgo shame and let the quietest whimpers of him name drift into the air. Seeing the smirk rise on his face, you lifted your hips for him as he rolled the thin fabric down your legs.

Before he tossed it over his shoulder, his smirk darkened and he looked from panties to you.

“You’re this wet all for me? You have been waiting patiently, haven’t you?”

Bucky stopped your response before it was able to slip past your lips, two metal fingers dragged slowly along your slit and forced your body to sink into the mattress. So long had you thought about how this felt, what this would look like, you never imagined you’d get this feeling.

Rolling your hips forward, you felt his digits moving closer to where you needed him most. Unable to stop yourself from whining impatiently, you pulled him in closer, trying to get something-anything to sate the heat that’d been burning some time.

“I know you want it, baby,” Bucky hummed, gently easing his fingers into you. “But I have to get you ready cause I don’t want to hurt you.”

You could feel him through his boxers, but the idea that he was big enough to do some damage? You clenched tightly around his thick metal fingers as he slowly thrust them into you.

His lips lay against your collarbone, heated breath rolling off your skin as he moved inside you. Crossing your arms over his shoulders, you lay back as you quietly called out his name, feeling the overwhelming concoction of him.

Stretching his fingers out, you felt that burn between your thighs, the one you’d been waiting for. It wouldn’t last long, but it felt worth it to know you’d get your hands on the man that’d made home in your mind.

Drawing them back out of you, Bucky wrapped his lips around the two digits and hummed at the taste. The way his eyes dropped shut, the deep moan that forced its way out, your thighs tried to clamp shut at the sound.

Bucky caught your legs in his strong grasp before you could do so, easing them back open as he sat himself up a bit. He dropped one hand down, palming himself through his briefs eagerly. 

Your breath caught in your chest as he hooked his thumb into the fabric, drawing it down and allowing his cock to spring free and slap against his torso. Longer than you’d expected and thicker than your wrist, you could feel your mouth begin to water at the thought of having him inside you.

Looking up to gauge your reaction, Bucky was met with darkened eyes and your tongue running along your bottom lip as your eyes were fixed on the way his hand lazily stroked his shaft.

“You ready, pretty baby?”

Your voice cracked as you jumped at the chance to reply. “Please fuck me.”

Taking his hand back to your heat, he collected some slick before using it to fist his length. His lips came back to yours, that same hungry kiss with his tongue taking purchase in your mouth. 

You felt the head of his cock pressing against you before he gently eased into your pussy, pushing his way into you and making you cry out into his mouth. He gave you that moment to collect your breath before you were panting for him to start moving.

Bracing one hand on your headboard, Bucky rolled his hips into you at the most incredible pace. You had never felt someone so deep in you, like he was always meant to end up in your bed with you. Lifting your legs, your wrapped them under his bum, hands leaving his hair to grip each cheek.

He chuckled against your mouth before rolling his tongue against yours and coaxing out a moan. The soft skin of his surprisingly firm behind felt like heaven under your grasp as he continued to pump into you.

Bucky had your whole body on fire, the pleasure coursing through out you as he rolled his hips in a perfect rhythm. His grip on the headboard tightened the more you gripped around him, head back on the pillow and his name the only thing falling from your lips.

“You look like an angel, never seen you look so beautiful.” He cooed, mouth coming to the crook of your neck.

Feeling his teeth against the join of your shoulder, your back was arching up and into him. You pulled him in even closer, hoping to have him as deep within you as you could.

“You’re so fucking sexy, the amount of times I’ve thought of this when I’m alone.” 

Your head was spinning, he found you so sexy he touched himself with only the thought of you to get him through? You’d struck fucking gold with this one, you were going to treasure every moment you got of this.

Whole body tensing against your will, you could feel your orgasm very closely approaching. A searing heat covering your whole body, twisting up into the tightest coil as you moaned incoherently for Bucky.

“I can feel you gripping me like a vice, you ‘gonna come for me?” 

It was the easiest yes, he already had you in the clouds, but when two metal fingers came to rub against your clit it was almost numbing. Your mouth dropped open, coos of praise and thanks slipping out as he made you feel like you were seconds from melting.

You hit that peak, gripping onto Bucky like he was going to slip away from you as your fingers found his hair again. Pulling tight on the roots, he gave you the most delicious moan you wouldn’t have been able to imagine. The feeling of his hot breath on your skin sent you sky-rocketing.

Coming with a cry, you felt yourself soaking him well and truly as he continued to fuck you through it. Your senses were at a high, the feeling just continuing to come over you in breaking waves.

Bucky’s grip on the headboard came loose as he dropped his hand to your hip, sitting up a bit to drive his hips. His fingers never left your clit either, still furiously rubbing that nub that was now more than sensitive.

There was no doubt a second orgasm was quickly following behind, all you could do was gasp for Bucky. The grin on his face told you he knew all too well exactly where you were.

“Such a good girl for me, come on, I know you can give me another.” 

Watching him knelt above you, ferociously driving his hips into you, your body gave out on you again as you came again. So quick together, your chest was rising and falling as you felt the tension snap within you.

Bucky groaned as he felt you gush around him, bringing his own release to the edge. Both his hands went under your ass and lifted you up to fuck into you with the last of his strength.

Feeling him stutter, you cried out his name for him again, before you felt him still entirely. With a deep groan from his chest, you felt his release in hot spurts within you. Bucky fell back to your chest, laying against you as you both came back down.

After going to the bathroom and cleaning up, you came back into the room to find him propped up against your pillows. He sheepishly gestured towards his clothes that he’d thrown about.

“Uh, I can go now if that’s what you want.”

You giggled at the sudden change, back to that sweet Bucky that sometimes got nervous when you looked him in the eyes but could also leave you speechless. Moving back to the bed, you found your way back into his lap and enjoyed the feeling of his hands finding home on your hips again.

“There is no way I am through with you.”

[diwatera]

LGBTQ+ Movies I Watched Recently (Part 2)

Happiest Season (2020) dir. Clea DuVall

Short Summary: Abby plans on proposing to Harper when they visit Harper’s family for the holidays. Her plans get derailed when she learns that Harper hasn’t come out to her family yet.

Why you should watch it: Not gonna lie, Mackenzie Davis drew me to this movie; I’ve been in love with her ever since San Junipero came out. Add Kristen Stewart, Aubrey Plaza and Dan Levy to the mix and I’m sold. If you want a sapphic romance with a happy ending, this one’s for you. 

Été 85 (2020) dir.  François Ozon

Short Summary: Alexis recounts his six-week love affair with David during the summer of ‘85. 

Why you should watch it: If you love 80s aesthetic and music, you definitely should watch this. The movie made me nostalgic of that decade and I wasn’t even alive back then! It’s a whirlwind summer romance reminiscent of Call Me by Your Name but with a more devastating twist.

Getting Go: The Go Doc Project (2013) dir. Cory James Krueckeberg

Short Summary: An obsessed college boy pursues his internet crush through the pretext of making a documentary about him.

Why you should watch it: The script and the acting are the one-two punch of this film. The writing is incredibly genuine, and both of the actors’ performances made the lines feel even more natural. I’m not the biggest fan of mockumentary-style films, but this one felt like it was a recording of my own life. Hyper-obsessive college grad with a Tumblr blog? Might as well have called out half the population of this damn site.

Pihalla (2017) dir. Nils-Erik Ekblom

Short Summary: Miku and Elias find themselves, and each other, during a summer in the Finnish countryside.

Why you should watch it: I’m a sucker for gays in the countryside™ and although this one is not quite up there with God’s Own Country and Call Me by Your Name, it still makes for a good watch. Miku as a character and his relationship with his parents was chaotic and fun. His relationship with Elias felt really natural and dreamy. 

You, Me and Him (2017) dir. Daisy Aitkens

Short Summary: Olivia, a mature responsible lawyer, wants to have a baby, but her girlfriend Alex isn’t ready for the responsibility. Things get even more complicated when their flirty neighbour, John, joins the picture. 

Why you should watch it: It is one of the most feel-good lesbian romcoms I have seen in a while. But I warn you, there are some dark parts that can really sneak up on you. Yeah, it’s hilarious, but damn it made me ugly cry, too. Oh, and if you want to see David Tennant as an alpha male douchebag, here’s your chance. (CW: **spoiler alert** p̶r̶e̶g̶n̶a̶n̶c̶y̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶s̶ )

Giant Little Ones (2018) dir. Keith Behrman 

Short Summary: Franky and Ballas have been best friends since childhood, both on the swimming team, both incredibly popular. But after an incident during Franky’s birthday, they quickly fall apart and Franky falls from grace.

Why you should watch it: I think the film captures just how tumultuous coming-of-age stories are. Franky is going through his own journey of self-identity, and I’m happy that the movie didn’t rush in with labels. The conversation Franky has with his dad at the end also hits hard.  (CW: physical assault, allusions to sexual assault)

Our Love Story (2016) dir. HyunJu Lee

Short Summary: A fine arts student meets an attractive bartender, and the two women begin an intimate relationship.

Why you should watch it: It’s a very intimate love story that isn’t rushed or dragged out for too long. We definitely see Yoon-Jo and Ji-Soo’s relationship bloom from start to end, but it’s not mind-numbingly boring to watch. Raw and unembellished, I definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a realistic portrayal of wlw romance.

Die Mitte der Welt (2016) dir. Jakob M. Erwa

Short Summary: The film follows Phil and his relationship with his family, his best friend, and a newcomer at his school, Nicholas.

Why you should watch it: This is technically a second watch for me, and I’m glad I rewatched it, because I was able to catch some glaring red flags that I missed the first time. I love this movie in spite of all the heartache it caused me. The story, especially the deal with Phil’s family, struck a chord in me. And the shots! Visually stunning as well! 

Les Amours Imaginaires (2010) dir. Xavier Dolan

Short Summary: Marie and Francis’ friendship is put to the test when a beautiful boy called Nicolas comes between them. 

Why you should watch it: Watch it for the visuals -- the colors, the costumes, the cast. Seriously, the actors included here may as well be kept in the Louvre: Xavier Dolan, Neils Schneider, Monia Chokri, hell, even a cameo from Louis Garrel! Dolan said it himself that this is a shallow film, but it’s worth the watch just to see Neils Schneider wearing heart-shaped glasses.

Closet Monster (2015)  dir. Stephen Dunn

Short Summary: A creative and driven teenager is desperate to escape his hometown and the haunting memories of his turbulent childhood.

Why you should watch it: Right off the bat, I am going to say that this film is dark. I tried watching it back in college but tapped out within the first ten minutes because something traumatic happens. Then I tried again about a week ago, finished it this time. It’s actually a very moving film. It’s violent and gory in some parts, but also ridiculous and wholesome in other parts. IT HAS A TALKING HAMSTER NAMED BUFFY! BUFFY WAS THE STAR OF THIS MOVIE FOR ME. (CW: gay bashing/sexual assault)

Straight Up (2020) dir. James Sweeney

Short Summary: Todd and Rory are intellectual soul mates. He might be gay but she might not care.

Why you should watch it: The dialogue in this film is undeniably sharp and witty. Loved the fast-paced back and forth between the two main characters as they discuss relationships, sex, gender, and more. James Sweeney and Katie Findlay’s chemistry just pulled you into the screen. It was funny, it was sweet, it was heartwrenching, it was great! (CW: allusions to sexual assault)

Latter Days (2003) dir. C. Jay Cox

Short Summary: A promiscuous gay party animal falls for a young Mormon missionary, leading to crisis, cliché, and catastrophe.

Why you should watch it: I saw this in santiagonex’s top 20 LGBTQ+ films with happy endings, and I honestly thought it was gonna be a feel-good watch. Instead, I got a rollercoaster melodrama filled with early 2000s gay culture, religious guilt, buttcheeks, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Needless to say, I got more than I bargained for. (CW: self-harm, conversion therapy)

The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Blythewood

Short Summary:  A covert team of immortal mercenaries are suddenly exposed and must now fight to keep their identity a secret just as an unexpected new member is discovered.

Why you should watch it: Okay, I was debating whether I should include this here, because it’s not necessarily an LGBTQ+ film as much as it is an action film with queer characters. I decided to include it, because JESUS! I have never seen such respectful and well-written representation of queer characters and relationships. Joe and Nicky are the most unproblematic couple in history. PERIOD. Pray for sequels, everyone. This is the kind of representation we deserve in mainstream media. 

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