#some of yall forget he’s ACTUALLY smart

[batmobilestires]

i think we as a society forget how Dick used to be a whole MATHLETE in school!!

[perfumejamal]

friendly competition (m.l + h.l)

pairing: bf!mark lee x f!reader x haechan, (a bit of mark x haechan )

genre: smut w barely any plot !

warnings: slight mxm and mxf, blowjobs, spitting, gagging, oral, creampie, threesomes, haechan is dirtyyy, can this count as cheating? idk, i didn’t mention protection BUT stay safe y’all, mark is the bf and haechan is his bsf

a/n: hi yall… this was originally written as an aot fanfic but i rewrote it to be a mark and haechan fic instead! this is based off an audio i’ve heard, you can listen go it here(wear headphones)! hope you guys enjoy!!

+ special tag: @isseoisseo

your boyfriend was the cutest guy ever. you met him at a random party your friend had dragged you to. usually you didn’t go further than maybe a hook up, but mark was different. he was a sweetheart, and you couldn’t let such a good guy get away.

after being together for a few weeks, you realized just how close he was to his best friend and roommate, haechan. it didn’t bother you, but sometimes it’d make you feel awkward. there’d be times when you were trying to be alone with him, but somehow haechan would always be there. you thought of talking to mark about it, but went against it. instead you started bringing your best friend along as well, to lessen the awkwardness.

this weekend however, was different. she was on her way to a family gathering, and you couldn’t do anything to stop it. so here you are in your boyfriend’s apartment, with his boyfriend.

the three of you sat in the dimly lit room, illuminated by the flat screen television in their spacious living room. you snuggled up close to each other on one end, while haechan sat on the other end. you guys were watching a random movie on netflix, girls trip.

you had never watched it but it was very entertaining. the three of you had your eyes glued to the screen. you looked over at haechan who occasionally glanced towards you and mark.

you quickly looked back at the large screen when they started talking about blowjobs. one of the girls in the movie started performing a blowjob on a banana using a grapefruit.

you weren’t shy to sex scenes in movies or shows, but this one made you blush slightly. you knew it made mark feel some type of way as well since he kept shifting in his spot.

you smirked at him, “don’t you think i give the best blowjobs?” you whispered to him forgetting haechan was also next to you guys. mark nods immediately, his cheeks turning red. as you continued teasing him haechan started giggling.

you roll your eyes, “what’s so funny, haechan?” you weren’t actually mad, but you were confused as to what he was laughing about.

“oh nothing,” he chuckles.

“you think it’s funny that i give the best blowjobs?” you ask looking over to him.

“i do think it’s funny,” he starts. “well, i think it’s funny because i’m very, very confident in my oral sex skills.” you roll your eyes again. “not just on women,” he adds making your boyfriend’s ears perk up in anticipation.

“i’m more skilled than you,” you flash him your sweet smile.

“is that right?” haechan asks, a smile plastered across his face. he turned to mark, who was red and in shock at your argument. “does she?” he asks. “does she give the best blowjobs?” he asks once more, making sure to specify what his question was.

haechan continues to laugh, knowing that mark will say yes… if he’s smart. mark let out a low whisper of an answer, “yes she does,”

“see i win,” you stick up your middle finger to haechan earning an amused look from him.

“hm, i don’t know. i bet i can give a better blowjob than you,” he started again. “i just get the feeling,” he laughs. “i’m sure you’re good, i just know i can do better. how about we test it out?”

you give him a questioning look, “what are you trying to say?”

“i mean, your boyfriend knows how you suck him off. how about we let him judge, let me suck him off,” haechan says without budging and your jaw drops. he wants to suck mark’s dick?

you never thought about haechan wanting to do that to your boyfriend, but maybe that’s why he’s so close to him? or maybe he’s just very competitive… like you.

mark is very intrigued seeing this scene playing out in front of him. “oh you’re so on, lee.” you shifted your attention over to mark, “is this okay with you babe?”

marks burries his face into his hands in embarrassment. “y-yes,”

haechan gets up from his side of the couch, quickly scurrying towards mark. dropping down to his knees stopping right in front of his lap.

“be ready to lose, y/n.” haechan says with a smirk on his face, soft hair held back in a messy bun.

you scoff, “yeah sure,” kneeling next to haechan giving him enough space to get to work.

haechan chuckles again before pulling at the hem of your boyfriend’s sweatpants. your boyfriend’s dick seemed to already be hardening, i mean how could it not with such a beautiful sight. his best friend and girlfriend kneeling between his legs, competing to see who could do him better.

mark’s dick sprung up hitting his abdomen and he let out a sweet moan. haechan placed his pretty hands around it, “i knew you had a pretty dick, but damn is this a hot sight.” he said, making your boyfriend whimper. precum leaking from his rosy tip, seeing this just made you even more turned on than before.

haechan put his mouth around the tip, swirling his tongue around it. “fuck,” mark let out a dragged out moan. the whimpers your boyfriend kept letting out just worked haechan up even more, causing him to take him into his mouth whole, inch by inch.

your fingers traveled down between your legs, sneaking into your pajama shorts. your boyfriend’s moans always drive you to the edge.

haechan noticed and moaned into mark’s dick, the vibrations making him go crazy. haechan kept bobbing his head up and down mark’s length, spreading all his saliva on it making a mess. he let mark’s tip rest on the back of his throat. he used his hand to fondle with his balls, making mark’s head throw back and eyes roll.

haechan slipped mark’s cock out of his mouth and used his hands to continue with the pleasure. “i hope you’re taking notes, y/n,” he said as he continued to stroke mark but was making eye contact with you.

you were opening your mouth to reply with a rebuttal, but your body betrayed you and you let out a loud moan. “fuck, shut up, haechan.”

he smiled to you before turning back to put his mouth around mark’s pretty cock, gagging to add to the pleasure. he knew mark was about to come undone, like never before. “you gonna come for me, mark?” he asks batting his eyelashes up at mark.

“mhm, fuck, fuck, haechan you’re doing me so fu-fucking good, shit,” haechan smiled at the praise coming from his best friend’s mouth.

“i want that fucking come down my throat,” haechan said as he stroked his dick faster, before lowering his head once again. he keep moaning mhm’s down mark’s dick. “i can feel you getting close,”

“you like that? like when i suck your dick and play with your balls?” mark cried out broken moan as haechan fiddled with his sensitive balls, “f-fuck haechan, fuck!” mark thrusted his dick into haechan’s mouth, making him gag around it. he came, mark came hard. his moans were echoing around the who apartment. his thrusts slowed down as he spilled into haechan’s mouth.

haechan took every single last drop into his mouth, moaned as he stroked for every last bit of it. swallowing it with a smile on his face, sticking out his tongue to show he rid of it all.

haechan chuckled as he looked at both of you, mark’s head thrown aback with a fucked out look, and you sat there surprised at his skills. “what’s the matter y/n? cat got your tongue?”

“i’ve never seen mark like this after my blowjobs,” you looked at mark then haechan when you said this. noticing that his shorts has wet patches and his dick imprinting against the soft fabric. “hae, you got hard?”

mark chuckled from the couch still mind blown at what just happened. “how could i not be? this shit was hot.”

your face flushed, and crawled over to eren. your hands playing with his waistband. “hae, lemme test out my skills on you, yeah?” you asked looking up to meet his eyes. he nodded nervously eyes looking up at mark then down to your own.

you got into all fours, lowering your head to his lap taking off his shorts and underwear. leaving him only with a white t-shirt, that exposed his soft muscles.

your hands worked their way around his hard cock, spitting on it, mixing his precum with it to make it easier for your hands to work around it. he was giving you filthy looks as a moan escapes his pretty mouth.

mark got up from the couch and walked behind you. lowering down to your ass which was in the air, moving side to side as you bobbed your head along haechan’s length.

mark’s veiny hands worked around your ass, delivering a sharp smack on your cheek making you choke on haechan’s dick. mark chuckled at your reaction as his hands moved between your legs, using the slick of your folds to rub up against you.

you were moaning against haechan’s making his hands travel to your cheek, wiping the tears falling from your watery eyes. “fuck, y/n, if you keep making that face,” haechan started. “you gonna make me fuck your pretty face,”

mark looked over to haechan as his fingers entered your tight cunt, “i think she want you to, haechan, her pussy is tightening around me.”

haechan chuckled, “y/n is that true? you want me to fuck your pretty face, huh?” you nodded your head eagerly, and haechan wasted no time to start thrusting into your face roughly.

“fuck, y/n,” mark and haechan both let out loud moans. mark slid his dick into your pussy, you swallowed him whole.

mark’s hands held onto your hips and he bucked his own into yours. “shit, i’m close y/n,” haechan moaned his voice breaking out from the immense pleasure. not only because of your mouth, but the fact that your boyfriend is fucking you while you’re sucking him off is making lightheaded.

a few more thrusts from haechan and he was spilling into your mouth, his cum dripping out the sides of your mouth and your eyes watering. “swallow it all, y/n.” mark said and haechan slowly slid his dick from your mouth and you complied, swallowing it all.

haechan stroked your cheeks telling you to open your mouth and show him, and you stuck out your tongue showing you did as mark told. “fuck, good girl.”

mark sat back down on the floor, pulling you to sit on top of him. now you’re riding him, while haechan watches it. this sight making him almost come undone again. haechan hands sneaked down to your clit and started rubbing circles to make you cum. his lips met yours and he placed a sloppy kiss on your numb lips. this made your boyfriend come and he spilled into your tight cunt, moaning loudly as he did so.

haechan pulled away from you, a trail of saliva following as his mouth headed to mark’s. he placed a sloppy kiss on mark as you threw you head back, feeling haechan’s cock growing inside of you as his cum felt warm against your insides.

“wanna fuck her? fuck my cum back into her,” mark said the last part as a demand, not a question. you whimpered at the thought and haechan pulled you towards him. laying you on your back.

the cum was starting to ooze out your pussy, making both boys hard again. fuck, this was gonna be a long night.

mark’s eyes were lost in lust, they sparkled as he saw his best friend’s dick enter your cunt. amazed as to how quick you swallow him whole. you were a blabbering mess, “a-ah please, h-hae! youre f-fucking me so…”

haechan’s thrusts were sloppy and fast. like he was in heat. he fucked you like his life depended on it, and mark’s attack to your sensitive clit didn’t make it any easier. “youre so fucking good, taking him like a slut,” mark chuckled.

he walked behind haechan and wrapped his arms around him. making you moan out as your boyfriend grabbed his jaw, turning haechan’s face to meet his own and making out with him.

haechan’s thrusts continued, sloppy and fast making your head spin. mark’s hands worked down haechan’s abs and stopped at your clit once again, going in circles. “a-h mar-rk, haechan fuck!” you cried out as they continued to make out.

haechan spilled into your pussy, his cum getting fucked into your cunt along with mark’s. his dick slid out and he moaned as the cum started oozing out.

mark’s face met your dripping cunt, “i wanna taste you on her haechan,” his tongue licked along your core and cried out at the change in temperature. he licked your pussy clean of haechan’s cum. haechan lowered down next to him they both licked at your core like they were thirsty.

“pl-please, ‘s too much!” you cried and they laughed. you felt like you’re gonna explode any time now.

once they finished cleaning you up they got up from they previous position. mark placed a kiss on your swollen lips, “you were great for us baby,” and you nodded as your eyes were closing from your tired, fucked out state.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Fandom observation nicknames and funny tags: Part One Piece

Okay, one piece fandom it's your turn and I'm going to highlight your creativity. Again this is not meant to shame or call anyone out. I am genuinely impressed with the creativity and you guys made me laugh. So again in my opinion these were too good just to be lost in the tags or in the anonymous messages, several you sent me. So expand post at your own risk. This one is unhinged

*updated as of May 4th with more tags and new characters

I have mentioned this before, but for some reason that is beyond me. One Piece fandom you guys refer to your characters as daddy and mommy (And it's in a kinky way) way more than any fandom. I think I should just start with the list of characters that have been labeled as such before I go into the creative names for individual characters. Because trust me who makes the list and who doesn't is actually funny.

One piece Daddy's: Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy, Sir Crocodile, Benn Beckman, Killer, Sanji, Rayleigh, Roger, Doflamingo, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Ivankov, Arlong, Yamato, Marco, Izou, Smoker, Garp, Sengoku, Zeff, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Akainu, Blackbeard

When it comes to the One piece Mommy's: Nico Robin, Boa Hancock, Charlotte Smoothie, Charlotte Galette, Charlotte Amande, Vice admiral doll, Catarina Devon, Ivankov & Crocodile

Now due to popular demand the new category the One Piece Babygirls: Ace, Buggy, Sanji, Luffy, Sabo, Zoro, Ussop, Marco, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Kid, Law, Bepo, Killer, Mihawk, Shanks, Perona, Yamato, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Smoker, Robin, Nami, Vivi, Jinbe, Hatchan, Roger, Zeff

Now when it comes to individual characters there have been some interesting standouts but I'm just going to do some highlights because you guys have so many characters

Ace: "Depressed sunshine orphan boy with daddy issues", "ace has that grungy line cook riz you know he lays legendary pipe", " he got goofy older brother swag", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", "Ace my greasy fire narcoleptic king", "The narcoleptic babygirl", the greasy crusty desert rat. "He would be worth the burn risk", "my favorite fire donut", "something about greasy alabasta ace hits so different", "with his riz he's probably a walking STD risk but it would be worth it. Just look at him probably also probably got a couple bastard kids running around the grand line", it's ok he's still greasy in my heart worlds most feral baby boy he looks like he eats dirt I could fix him (force him to bathe regularly)

Arlong: "Y'all are too afraid to recognize the truth too afraid of his drip, his swagger, his saw nose, to admit that he's hot also live action arlong?!?!the only sexy fishmen," "arlong looks like a toxic florida frat bro," "I legitimately think there's something wrong with me sometimes due to how bad I want arlong the rancid personality enhances the appeal", "yall are p****" arlong is sexy put some respect on his name look at those lips the laugh the hair!"

Akainu: "The world's next top authoritarian," magma Daddy, "He makes donuts and I still love him"

Bartolomeo: "the man hasn't showered in probably a week he's obsessed with the strawhats he'll pee anywhere and he's an absolute dweeb he's like a stray mutt that followed me home look at his fit it's AWFUL AND FABULOUS he's gross and dumb and if something bad happens to this silly barrier- creating puppy i'll LOSE IT"

Belo Betty: "True story: Belo Betty made me, an Aroace woman have a sexuality crisis."

Ben Beckman: Dilf, "retirement blorbo", "Benn Beckman is a religious experience", "to me? beckman is the character with the most sex appeal ever. raw sex appeal. I would [redacted] if I met this man. just sayin", "He can ruin my life any day of the week", "Also lest we forget pre TS Beck a++ quality right there I just want someone smart who will also hit a guy with a gun is that so much to ask for", "This p**** wants what she wants and its always going to be Benn “back breaker" Beckman", husband material, "men are like wine in order to get a good vintage you want the one that's aged", he had that sexy blind and reckless loyalty about him", "Beckman is a fine aged vintage of wine as men should be", "DEAR GOD the things I WOULD DO to that man LIKE [redacted] and [redacted] because [redacted] and [redacted]", "idk how to explain it but he's so wife", "benn beckman? more like benn breastman ok sorry yeah anyways. said it before and ill say it again beckman exudes raw sex appeal like jesus christ. why would you not want to fuck this man ive had lesbian friends who said he would be an exception to them which is so real his tits are big he loves his captain he STUBBED HIS CIGARETTE IN A MAN'S EYE UNDER THE GUISE OF DEFENDING HIS CAPTAIN so fucking sexy mwah mwah beckman my wife you are so hot SO HOT. in conclusion benn breastman you will forever be a top sexyguy in my head oh also forgot to add. he canonically gets bitches which is so real. he could get me any day", "Oh dear I just realised I have a thing for older men with grey hair and have substance abuse issues I choose to believe lung cancer does not exist in opu", "

Buggy: Assigned clown at birth, walking disaster, "my pathetic sniveling wet clown", my Beloved, "he has blue hair and pronouns", Failboy, "the skrunkly clown", "my clown wife", "he has that fail boy cringe", "buggy has the stronger levels of foolishness and fumbling his way to success", "the cringefail clown extraordinaire buggy", "he is silly and pathetic like a bisexual divorced dad",

Catarina Devon: "my problematic lesbian sugar mommy”,

Cracker: "if Cracker just let his hair down he'd be unstoppable i fear", "get wrecked cracker", "I am so curious about the people voting for cracker let me study you please", "cracker getting murdered as expected", "you can't do my biscuit husband like that", "i find cracker really hot"

Crocodile: desert daddy, Babygirl, "He's like if tony soprano was trans", crocodaddy, crocomommy, Big titty mob boss, He's 8ft tall and I would let he ruin me,"Mr. Sandman", "the human sandcastle," "literally has sand in his britches", "son of a beach", "World's Most Expensive Sand Sculpture", "he's got 99 problems and his hook is one of them", "casino blorbo", "I would subject myself to sandburn any day for THE SIR FUCKING CROCODILE Anakin Skywalker don't go here because I WOULD love sand if it was like 8 feet tall and had a voice like that absolutely rabid he could stick his sand in so many places and I'd thank him crocodile is one of those guys i wanted to hate so bad and then went actually no i want this guy carnally Crocodile has some weird rizz goin on and i need to climb that sandcastle", "I'm so sorry but I need to eat crocodile's pussy", "With Sir Crocodile you can have Sex on the Beach. Literally. Plus he owns a casino so you could probably sip on the cocktail version too...while getting some cocktail.", "mafia vibes and style", "crocodile's got style. class. you will be wined and dined in the most exquisite way you can imagine", "He's got DADDY vibes", " One handsome mafia boss", "I love crocodile but also i wanna punch him and i feel like hes got the sandiest pussy/dick that shit will give me a rash", "my evilest baby boy", "Crocodile invented evil trans swag just saying", "im sorry az but crocodile was my dilf awakening", "in Crocodilf we trust",

Dragon: "the revolutionary scrungle dragon",

Doflamingo: "Dofy's got some wierd (potentially fun) energy but he would NOT treat you well he'd be awful", "The psychopathic pimp on a shoestring budget. Seriously dude, San Diego Zoo called and they want their flamingos back. That coat is so last season.", "fashion travesty", "Doflamingo dresses like an eye test and will probably steal your credit card by the end of the night not because he needs the money. because he finds it hilarious", "Mingo is just a spoiled frat fuckboy who's too full of himself to be interested in anyone/anything else", "a balding white man", "evil florida man my beloved they dont understand you", "Budget Pimp who robbed San Diego of their world famous Flamingo flock"

Eustass Kid: Pirate punk, "He's a sopping wet loser", "a man wearing eyeliner and nailpolish is by definition hotter", "my scrungy little fuck", he would also probably give me an STD and it would still be worth it

Franky: " Three words light up nipples"

Fujitora: "fujitora yes plz that like calm collected way he fights makes me KNOW hed take care of his partner real good", "have you seen how he slurps his noodles? I just know he could eat me out in ways I could never imagine"

Gol D. Roger: "the "Tom Selleck" of Pirates. He mustache'd the gold somewhere. You think these puns are bad wait until you hit my NSFW tags. Can't believe no one pointed those out yet, his name is a literal gold mine of innuendo. king of pirates? nah he's the king of rogering roger this roger that roger anyone he damn well pleases he has the D", "why does no one thirst after Gol like i do? youre all weak! cowards", "sorry but i am all about his dads mustache", " I can't be the only one that wants to ride that mustache"

Jinbe: "I wanna suck on the webbing between his fingers", does anyone else contemplate how soft Jinbe's tits are to lie on or is that just me?

Kaido: "beefcake beast of a man",

Katakuri: "I'm a monsterfucker at heart", "Katakuri is literally so good man he's a family man #he's badass he's got a great sense of honour you know I had to go for the mochi man", "donut king", "KATAKURI MY MOCHI MONSTER TEETH KING CHAMPION HUSBAND THAT I WOULD CLIMB LIKE A MOUNTAIN #I'M ALWAYS ON MY CLIMBING AGENDA WITH MY ONE PIECE KINGS!", "i just know this man would treat me right we love kata", "Kata definitely ticks that hot box"

King: "King is literally the most beautiful OP character you can't change my mind", "Gotta chose the melanin yknow", "king is so ajdhjdjdjchjd bark bark bark bark", "I saw King and decided he is my blorbo", "king of my [REDACTED]", " I know he's like 20 ft tall and I'm probably the size of his d*** but it would be worth it. I would gladly choose death by snu snu for one night with him"

Killer: "big tiddy murder boyfriend",

Marco: Bird daddy "Mr. Dr. Emotionally-Stable Scrungles", "surfer hippy electric blue glasses wing flapper", "DR. MMMMM", Fineapple

Luffy: "l am in the minority here I need luffy's gomu gomu no [REDACTED]"

Mihawk: The Vampire Pirate, Goth Dad, the sword father, Pirate Dracula, the big titty goth husband, "I think mihawk would treat you right. i want mihawk to treat me right", "I love his gay wine uncle energy", "I appreciate that he dresses Like That everywhere extra ass bitch", "hot vampire cowboy pirate", Morticia Addams, "Mihawk oozes 'step on me' energy",

Robin: "she has irresistible weird girl rizz", "big tiddy archaeologist gf"

Rosinante: "my insane clumsy tall dilf", "wife material", "he has cringefail dad swag", "rosi is everything to me actually. I would climb that tall clumsy king like a tree", "the klutzy mime", "he has that pathetic depressed clown vibe thats irresistible", "He's the epiome of strong but silent, he's the asshole with a heart of gold, he has everything", rosinante is hot tho and his clumsiness somehow enhances it", "I've said it before and I'll say it again I WOULD climb that clumsy king like a tall tree want to kiss him until his silly jester makeup is all over me too", "I am loyal to the guy who actively sets himself on fire",

Sabo: "bc he said killing woth lead pipes and then he just kept doing it its the crazy for me"

Sanji: fail wife, Cooking Daddy, "I NEED sanji to f*** me to tuesday and make me dinner before and breakfast after", "The man will feed you the best meal you've ever had and genuinely compliment something about you", "His fighting style is 'kick the problem until it goes away' and he chugs Love Women Juice", "he can cook and fight and he's damn fine while doing both"

Shanks: Margaritaville Himbo, "Dilflicious", "the deadbeat malewife wifi user", "I am a whole lesbian but if there were a butch girl version of these men I would let shanks ruin my life", "favorite guy in the local frat" He's probably a walking STD risk but he's hot and I'm a slut that has a thing for red heads, "the unwashed bitch", "LOOK AT THAT SCRUFF ON SHANKS the three scars on his face that smile", "my Scrungle drunk bastard", I would volunteer to be his next baby mama you know shanks got a few a dozen red haired children all over the grand line tell me I'm wrong," " The biggest fuckboy to ever whore about the Grand Line."

Smoothie: "ah...smoothie....or as i call her... one piece tsunade Imaoo", "ultimately my desire to be crushed by Smoothie's thighs won out", "SMOOTHIE. THANK YOU mommy long legs... gauhggfghgh......i want her to juice me pleeeeaaaseeeeeeeeeee /silly",

Silvers Rayleigh: "Silver Fox Rayleigh", "he's old but he can get it", "Rayleigh has that 'your daughter calls me daddy too' energy", "he's a gilf who married a literal queen", "rayleigh has spent his entire life SERVING CUNT", "Raiyleigh has that gilf energy despite having no kids", I need him in so many different ways I cannot list", "he has my heart around his little finger", "Rayleigh makes me howl like a dog I swear", "I mean come on look at his HAIR his GLASSES that incredible STARE even his wrinkles are hot", "Rayleigh got the 50 year anniversary in the bag idk why you would go for anything else", "helloooo????? Rayleigh is the hottest old guy in one piece please", "I would let rayleigh ruin me and I would thank him", "Rayleigh to me is more like a really smooth mead", "genuinely may be the hottest man of onep just like. objectively", "rayleigh you will always be famous for being the most fuckable old man ever. there may be dilfs galore out there but ur the only gilf in my heart", "that scene where Rayleigh gets out of the ocean shirtless After swimming to the island of women I actually said Daddy out loud",

Smoker: "Smokedaddy", "Smokestack. 'Ole Smokey. Smokin' Hot Smoker", "smokers allergy to keeping his Tits covered compels me", "i do love smoked sausage i'm sorry i'll see myself out", "smoker he's just so beefy like fuckkk and he's like almost 40 i just wanna be smokers lil housewife", "smoker is a beautiful lesbian to me", "smoked sausage I just *know* he's got more to work with than a cocktail weenie", "SMOKEYBEAR PAPA SMOKE MY KING i would smoke him like a chimney if you're pickin up what I'm putting down wink wink nudge nudge he really would kill my lungs but it'd be a fun time", "SMOKER PAPUCHO RICO I NEED HIM", "smoker is solid (despite being made of smoke)", "smoker. smo-yan. ultimate "guy who is allergic to wearing shirts" and honestly? he's so right for that. he needs to show off his tits! in a one piece man boob ranking he's coming number 2 (after crocodile) i said this in dms earlier today but it needs to be released to the world "fat d*ck fat tits fat ass he has it all" smoker is PACKINNNNN in every way he's genuinely so attractive, even just considering him physically and look at his sexy facial scar also (beck also has one. very good) and his slicked back short hair.....not to mention the things that are very endearing about him personality wise - he does masculinity like NOBODY ELSE. genuinely NO ONE does it like him like. he's gruff but he has a very strong personal moral code and he really *does* care..... the man's a tsundere and he's never been cruel to those undeserving like in his introduction - kids bumps into him, spills ice cream on his pants YOU KNOW WHAT SMOKER SAYS? YK WHAT HE SAYS? "my pants ate your ice cream." KILL ME NOWWWWWW HES SO FUCKING HOT IM EATING MY OWN HANDS and then he GIVES THE KID MONEY TO BUY MORE ICE CREAM. jesus christ smoker big d*ick big tits big heart i fucking love him good god", "something something vague moaning sounds I would call him smokey just to provoke him", "

Trafalgar Law: "DR. Slut", "He has them tattoos which makes me go fucking feral", "A stoner greasy boyfailure", "the edgy emo orphan boy with daddy issues", 'My tried stressed bitch", "law is hot because hes pathetic has tattoos and is the narrative's favorite punching", "i am DERANGED over a depressed formerly-suicidal surgeon",

Yamato: "I need my trans man big naturals...... I know nothing about one piece but yamato lives rent free in my brain and my heart at all times the only anime figure i have is of him and i don't even watch the fucking show", "he's new + he's trans + he's over 8 feet tall + he's a wolf god what more could you want?!", "he is filled to the brim with TRANSMASC SWAG", "it's transmasc dog boy swag for me he's my best boy", "Yamato's boobs call to me I need to motorboat yamato titties. whoa who said that", "yamato could crush me and i would thank him yes indeed", "I just found out Yamato is Literally a whole entire meter taller than me & that's all the convincing I need", "my canon transmasc king", "cant compete with is the fact that on top of beautiful yamato is just. fucking huge like i can not will not get over it every time i remember he's 8'7 in canon I'm like aaaAaaAaAAaAAAAaa kiss me on the mouth big boy", "as an aroace person. if yamato stepped on me id thank him. thank you for your time", "hes literally the whole reason i started watching/reading one piece

Zoro: "The President of the strawhat's local big titty committee", "The king of boobs", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", I would probably get an STD but it would be worth it, "his stupidity and gay attire make him very appealing", canonically the biggest tits in one piece, He got them big naturals, "Big honkabadonkaroo hoinkybadinkirs massive man tiddies Zoro", "Zoro oozes 'I won't let anyone hurt you' energy", "zoro is hot because of his big naturals

Zeff: "He will wine and dine me before leaving me lovingly bedridden the day after. And he actually takes care of his kid", "Zeff is honorable and can cook and clean and bathes and almost dies for a kid that's not his and then adopts him" He's got line cook energy. If you know you know

I definitely know I'm going to have to add to this since there's so many more characters and you all are definitely going to get more creative after seeing the list.

And a few observations. Why did Sanji make the daddy list and not Zoro? Characters that I thought would be short cliff notes turned into some of the longest sections And characters I thought would have some of the longest sections turned into some of the shortest ones. And I still think this was worse theyn JJK I just forget how unhinged this fandom can be because your unhinged craziness is dispersed amongst so many characters. And I haven't decided which fandom's next.

I now have my answer on why Sanji made the list and not Zoro. Overall the fandom is just thirsty so very thirsty. Hence the many updates to this list

Commentary added as of May 4th.

Characters that I never thought I would ever add to this post are on here and I am so confused. When I started this blog, I was warned that the JJK fandom was unhinged horny and thirsty AF. But in my opinion, the one piece fandom is much worse. Just look at this post for proof. One Piece you guys are definitely the thirstiest fandom by far I mean Catherine Devon has a section. You guys just hide it better than the JJK Fandom. Plus I do regret challenging a few of you to come up with tags as a joke because you definitely delivered

[simpshaaaa]

After living in the apocalypse for years, Cale developed few habits

One which is that he has every solution to every odd problem

I bet one of them is how to escape from a bear without attacking it and the solution is by pulling a wrestling move on it and when the bear is in shock and paralyzed for a moment, Cale will make a run from it

Alver: Are you okay?

Cale: I mean, it's a good idea. I don't want to hurt the bear. What if it had a baby???

Another is storing food in Raon dimensional space

Rosalyn: I'm a bit hungry..

Cale pulling Raon: Do you want some apple slice?

Rosalyn: I kinda want some croissants actually

Cale: I have 100 of them, Raon

Raon: FRESH STILL CROISSANT FOR OUR VERY SMART ROSALYN

Rosalyn: ..Why do you have 100 croissants???

Cale: Just in case

Remember yalls. Cale got trapped in a building before during the early apocalypse:3 so he was starving for awhile before meeting Soohyuk

Anyway next is having a few emergency funds. Cale has a retirement fund(which his uncle stole) and some other funds that others (via Alver, Deruth, Fredo) provided and also don't forget the money and jewelry he looted too

Cale: I have an emergency fund 1, an emergency fund 2, an emergency fund 3, an emergency fund 4,,,,,,, and lastly an emergency fund 202 for 202 types of situations

Bud: ..Why?

Cale: Just in case

Bud: .. You're the oldest son of the Duke family?? And the SWORN BROTHER of the crown prince????

Cale: Yeah,, but just in case............

Also also also

I noticed Cale hardly spent money on himself but his kids and family

That one chapter where he brings the kids into the toy shop but they wanted swords and stuff

They really thought he was going to buy those toys for himself 😭😭😭

Also he has that magic space bag where he can store a lot of things, but not so much as Raon dimensional space (ok do y'all see a problem now with Cale????) and in that bag he keeps his personal items like cape and some money, and that death book

I headconan that little Roksu has a lot of secret places that he keeps his money from his abusive and gamble/alcohol addicted uncle

Y'all can add more,

I don't have anymore ideas

[harmoniouseclipse]

Woe fankids be upon ye

Doing a little series where I took some ship requests on my instagram to make them fankids, this one is for me tho (jeanlisa to kick it off whoo 🙌🏻) The lineup so far is Cytham, Kavetham, Lionfish (aka Freminet x Gaming aged up probably idk how old they are canonically), Cynonari, Jealuc, and Beiguang, and feel free to send me some other pairings you wanna see (as long as they are legal pls otherwise I will ignore it 👎)

I'm gonna ramble about some headcanons and lore for them under the cut, continue with caution bc I'm insane

These two are my brainrot rn, don't even joke lad. And I wanna tell yall their name meanings too bc I like them a lot 🥹 Zephra's means "west wind" derived from Greek, and it's the feminine version of Zephyr. Tyrian was a type of purple dye used by the Ancient Phoenicians, huge huge HUGE thanks to my pookie bear @miothefish for helping me out with his name!!! Also he has Lisa's butterfly earring and you can't see bc of the angle but Zephra has the rose that went in her hair holding her ponytail <3

I'm also making a massive family tree for the characters as a go along, and just the jeanlisa tree is taking up half of the canvas bc of the KoF and Sumeru characters since Cyno is their uncle and the rest of the gang are their honorary uncles 😭 I'll be posting that once the series is done/all the requests are finished/I run out of ships and otps I enjoy

Here's an alternative version with some more info on most of the characters I wanted to briefly mention in their relation to them; Tyrian likes calling Eula his aunt too even though she was never really considered one for them so it's kind of like her unofficial title she pretends to dislike but she loves it and dotes on Tyrian 🤭 She and Diluc also helped train Zephra with a claymore and Diluc kind of became a parental figure to her in her teen years after Lisa's passing 🥺 She also feels like she's outshined by Jean and that she's not smart or powerful enough to follow in Lisa's footsteps (something that Lisa wouldn't want anyways bc it led her to her death 😔) rip zephra she's just like me fr

And yeah some Kaeya angst bc he's still going thru it I fear, and Jean is single mombossing but she's worried for zephra which me too dawg, im afraid to say she might be cooked 😦 Zephra is also kind of like a weird mix of Lisa when she was her age and Jean, where overall she's well-mannered and kind but she can be competitive and feel the need to push herself too much and pull a few strings to get what she wants from time to time. Tyrian is a ray of sunshine tho, he has not yet witnessed the horrors 💔 I do think that Jean is also a lot easier on him than her mom was with her so that also helps. He's very shy tho and wants to stick with Zephra or Razor most of the time, and they both have some nasty tan lines from going out with Razor and Klee and Fischl a lot 😔 Cyno also freaking loves them and dotes on them and Tyrian is getting a TCG addiction because of it smh, Cyno is also one of Zephra's favorite people and when she's in Sumeru she stays with him and Alhaitham (bc in my universe they are married ough I love cytham)

And (I think?) Klee physically and mentally ages slower than humans so I think she'd be technically 9 or 10, and Zephra is left with babysitting duty most of the time if she's home on break or smth 😭 Klee really looks up to her tho

Also, I wrote Tyrian's last bullet point like he was super young when Lisa died, but I think he was around 7 so he actually remembers Lisa better than I intended it to sound, he was just younger than Zephra (who was 11 at the time) and just didn't have as much time with her as Zeph did, but his most fond memory of Lisa was reading with her and she probably taught them some potion-making skills too.

I think there will be some abyss angst in here too at some point, since I hc Lisa to be probably an Abyss Lector/Harold (I forget which is which) um so thinking that Zeph and Tyrian experiencing some not normal things happening and Jean doesn't know what to do since Lisa also didn't really know what that dog in her was until it was too late 😔 That's what Kaeya's for tho since he's like the heir of the abyss???? Go off king. Also some touchy ragbros angst bc Kaeya is scared for Zeph knowing how close she is with Luc and he doesn't want him to push her away because of her being from the abyss or smth (they mostly made up but it's still a fear in Kaeya's mind both for him and Jean's kids)

I think that's all I wanted to touch on for now?? Mainly just thinking about domestic fluff and angst all the time now 🥺 Zeph not being able to be open with Jean bc she feels like a disappointment but Jean would literally actually die for her and shes proud of her no matter what ough im going to lose my freak dawg guess who my favorite fankid is it's super hard ik

Send me asks or dms or whatever for more ship requests!!! I'm having so much fun with this dawg 🫶🏻

[surshica]

NINTENDO SWITCH !

NINETEEN - greedy for love

masterlist <3

AN : there is probably so many typos and errors but like ITS OKAY yall can shit on me abt it, my feelings dont get hurt that easily 😭😭 this is an apology for the last chapter BUT IT MAKES UP FOR IT EHHEHEHEHEHE. based of the song greedy by miss ariana grande

﹙ᴗ﹏ᴗ﹚･｡ ⁺ ✦

“it was a misunderstandingggg im sorryyy” mira fake cried shaking chishiya whom was sitting on her chair near her desk; the unamused look on his face gave everything away. shock and horror washed through mira, “no you know what! i couldve just name dropped her if you wanted too!” “that would’ve made it better huh? huh chishi?!” pushed his shoulder a little harsh crowing her arms together pointing her nose to the air.

“no that would’ve made it worse since it would make me like like a pussy” he groaned putting his hands on the shoulder mira pushed. “EXACTLY so don’t go acting mad at me for saying her.” mira scoffed sticking out her tongue. chishiya let out an amused huff.

he was quiet upset but at the end there was literally nothing he could do since he waited so long bundling up his feelings. “still though..you could’ve said you were joking.” “and you shouldn’t of bundled up those feelings you’ve had for her!” “fair.” “very much fair.”

“and does she know i like her?” an amused grin popped up on his face as mira shrugged her shoulders, “she may be stupid but she probably isn’t that fucking stupid.” “well maybe! but she is a smart girl i think she figured it out when she had the sleepover with the girls..” mira smacked her lips twice before plopping her self onto the bed.

the soft compact of the mattress against her back made her smile, turning her head to face chishiya “to be honest. both of you suck at your feelings.” mira’s words felt as cold as ice. her eyes were empty as if they had no life in it, “ouch?” chishiya playfully frowned.

“i mean it is the truth,” a long dramatic sigh left her lips “ i mean i have so many reasons as to why you both suck and think it’s unreciprocated love.” she moved her head to look at the bland white ceiling with circle shaped lights engraved into it. “go on. im introduced in your thought.” chishiya was quite intrigued. he felt as if he did his best to be flirty with her in his own chishiya like manners.

“well for starters! you suck at giving signs, she thought you were just challenging her to some MORE academics which pushed the agenda of her wanting to be rivals with you. she even vowed TO HERSELF she was going to be rivals with you till she dies. she completely mistook you being a tease in a loving way for you wanting to be better than her!” mira had a thin a-line smile as chishiya furrowed his eyebrows letting out a small hum.

“secondly! you yourself chishiya, you’re like a heartthrob that doesn’t want to be a heartthrob. you have all these girls wanting to marry you so yn probably took that as you never looked at the way she looked at you! which makes me laugh..you can’t even express your feelings and you always have the same look on your face! like YOU HAVE A NICE SMILE WHY DONT YOU TRY SMILING INSTEAD OF GRINNING for a change!” mira three her hands up in the air as chishiya gave her the disappointed parent look.

“there are so many more reasons but thirdly, god you are so hard to break through. you’re always serious and maybe for a change you could like loosen up, you’re so head focused on your studies that sometimes you forget that the whole academic rivals is an act. AND GOING BACK TO REASON ONE IT TIES IN. like chishiya sometimes i want too just—“ mira was cut off by him throwing a plushie at her face. “OKAY OKAY. i understand jeez.”

mira rolled her eyes lifting herself up going the the kitchen living room with chishiya trailing behind her, “i understand damn. that felt more like a let’s hate on chishiya moment then a tell me an actual reason moment.” he rolled his eyes grabbing a water bottle from the fridge as mira sat herself on the counter eating a bag of cookies.

“everyday is an i hate chishiya moment. the way you cock a grin, hell even a smirk makes me want to deck you in the face. you rich bastard” mira munched on her chips—chishiya faked a hurt looked expression on his face. “that hurt.” he blunted. mira shrugged her shoulders; the sound of yn’s door room opening caught both of their attention.

“miraaa, do we have anymore green tea bottles~” yn had a tired like whine escape her lip; “check the fridge i think i bought more!” mira continued to munch on her cookies. chishiya opened the fridge handing yn a cold green tea bottle, “here.” a small think lip smile was predominate on his face.

yn’s mouth formed an o shape looking up at him, she took the bottle from him. her fingers grazed his; the ever so slightest blush formed on her cheeks, she shook it off remember that he had a girl. chishiya’s usual hard cold stare softened when he looked at her. he hated the idea of misunderstandings; he wanted to clear up this air but he didn’t know how too.

mira read the room and cocked a grin on her lips, “if you need me i’ll be in my room watching some horimiyaaa~” she jumped down from the counter skipping to her room. the two just stood near eachother in silence, it was very tense almost as if it was waiting for someone to talk. it was like that for a good soild five minutes.

chishiya cleared his throat, he softened gaze couldn’t look away from hers. the red undertones from what looked like tears; the puffiness. he wanted to hold her. “yn.” his voice didn’t come out louder than he expected—it was soft yet stern. “chishiya. what are you doing here?” her voice was harsh yet gentle.

“well..well i was here because mira invited me here.” a small oh escaped her lips, a forced like smile was formed on her lips “that’s nice! i’m studying for the mid term tomorrow,” yn sighed “its really kicking my ass.” chishiya chuckled at that. “i forgot that we had that..just my luck.” chishiya had stuffed his hands in his pockets. his eyes slowly wandered around her face. his eyes landed on his soft lips, so many thoughts had wondered through his mind.

“well isn’t that just my luck! i can finally beat you in something, god. that makes me feel so..” an actual smile was shown on her lips. it was almost out of pure excitement. “so..???” “so..happy.”

“i could finally kick your ass in something that matters, this is my victory right here. i cracked the key.” yn had taken a swig of the green tea sighing in pure bliss; chishiya furrowed his eyebrows walking closer to the girl—closing the gap between them. his eyes moved from her lips to her eyes. yn’s eyes had a look as if it had a plan behind it.

yn had figured out chishiya wasn’t looking at her eyes anymore. a smirk formed on her lips, “you know chishiya we all can’t have what we want.” she sucked on her teeth. her eyes had a seduced like look that captivated chishiya. “and for that you are a greedy bastard.” chishiya was not even in his right state of mind. the thoughts had flowed through his mind, so many intrusive thoughts.

the thought of having her in his arms, the thought of her lips against hers, the thought of her cuddling up to his body. god he wanted all of that. he scoffed at the idea of him being greedy. he wasn’t greedy.

yn had pulled herself closer to chishiya, getting on her tippy toes to become ever so slightly his height, she wasn’t shorter then him but wasn’t taller either. “the greed has finally gotten into you chishiya. and im laughing.” she whispered in his ear with a smirk like smile prompted on her face.

chishiya’s breathing was hitched for a second, maybe a second too long. yn planted a soft kiss on his cheek; she got off her tippy toes turning her heel to go back to her room. the soft lips against his cheek made him blush.

it had snapped him out his daydream; he thought to himself maybe he wouldn’t have this opportunity again to be so close to her. he couldn’t let it slip. he really couldn’t. he had let his intrusive thoughts get the best of him.

“fuck it.” he grumbled—he grabbed yn by the wrist spinning her around to him; it took her by surpise. he lifted her up seating her on the countertop, “me greedy? im never greedy” he snarled at her, smashing his lips against hers.

the kiss was rough catching yn by surprise, to say she enjoyed it would be an understatement. a surge of butterflies had formed in her stomach; heat rushing to her face, wrapping her arms around his neck. her smirk liked grin turned into an excited smile. she kissed him back with the same rough tone but ever so slightly softer. chishiya had wrapped her arms around her waist, a smile had formed on his lips.

“god i should’ve done this way before…” he groaned as he broke off the kiss, more heat rushed to her face as he broke off the kiss. “you’re so annoying and greedy chishiya..” she rolled her eyes pulling him back in for another kiss.

﹙ᴗ﹏ᴗ﹚･｡ ⁺ ✦

tags !!

pink doesn’t work

@crinklypink @flrtsbin @4pparecium @afckingswiftiebtch @em-asian @saiewithakatana @minyoungieee @eternal-gf @kimtaehussy @theinfaethablefig @elakari @too-many-fandoms666 @lastheavcns @pyrrhicgaze @andreeasancheez @hadesdaughtwr @Iserluver @urgodmoon @nmsl0v3r @lowilaufeyson @dee-dino-man @chiishiiya @444neapolitain @wroophruh @vensworld @starsval @dr3amscap3 @kuinaheartz @bre99 @cheshireshiya @eissaaaa @sollum @conny1111 @luvelyxp @shinobuily @gelliyo @fanfangying1304 @ikon-teen @stay-moa-army @bbyjackie @naegisimp @midlystupid @yvrikoo @chepoyo @luv4kuina @vernon-dursley @itadorim @vseqvt @shigamiryuk @wonswoorld @elisiumnie @abyloxk @asoullessentity @seventeensstrawberry @cupidsaster @bubblycloudy

[carryingthebannershitposts]

Some Newsies Headcanons

Jack:

This man 100% pretends to be all brave an tough and then proceeds to cry himself to sleep

Probably afraid of thunderstorms but hides it

Had a horse phase when he was younger (So did Race but not as bad)

Sometimes forgets words for things and decides to make them up (couldn't remember the word for cigar so he yelled at Racetrack not to let Les use his "fire leaf stick")

Still has nightmares about the refuge

That Santa Fe pamphlet is more important to him than most of the people he knows (with the exception of Davey, Les, Crutchie, and Race)

Has threatened to use a lasso to tie Racetrack to the wall at least once, and no, it didn't work

David:

Talks to himself when he's doing things

Can see right through Jack's bullshit/knows when he's pretending to be okay vs when he actually is

Cannot dance but tries

Fidgets with literally anything he can get his hands on

A modern David would cry after watching Dear Evan Hansen

Genuinely doesn't know how to smoke and legit inhaled the smoke and started dying the first time Jack offered a cigar to him

Dresses very formally literally no matter where he's going

Talks about Jack to Sarah because he is very gay and doesn't want advice from his parents

Sometimes questions his gender identity but always forces himself not to think about it because of what his family might think

Crutchie:

I will die on the hill that Crutchie is probably an age regressor, but keeps it a secret because this is Newsies and nobody tells anyone anything

Will beat you with his crutch if you insult his friends

Will apologize after hitting someone in a fight

Claims to hate being carried but does kinda like it

Will go to work even if he's dying of an unknown deadly sickness because he feels bad about others helping him

Race:

This is pretty much canon at this point I believe but Race is transmasc

Spot is the only one allowed to call him "Racer", he will protest if anyone else calls him that

Always has a cigar purely for the sake of having something in his mouth, not because he smokes it

Got his harmonica taken away by Jack after playing it nonstop at all hours of the night

Spot has offered to let him live in Brooklyn and he just kinda said no because he's fine making the walk every day

Acts like an idiot but is actually really smart

Probably hates basically everything about himself but acts like he's the best to hide it because this is Newsies and nobody tells anyone anything

Seriously all of these characters just need to sit down and have a heart to heart

"I can't wait for anything! The doctors call it ADHD- I call it RDHD, because my name is Racetrack!" (Bonus points if yall get that reference)

A modern Racetrack would show Spot that one song from Raggedy Ann, "It's hard to be king when you're short" and get yelled at

Spot:

Gets teased constantly for being short

Constantly looks like he wants to unalive the next person he sees

Steals Racetrack's hat to annoy him

Racetrack compared him to one of those small yappy dogs once and Spot now thinks about it constantly

Aggressively kind to the people he cares about ("DRINK WATER AND GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP, I FUCKING LOVE YOU")

Refuses to explain why he ran away from his family

Despises his real name because "it sounds like an old man name"

Anyways that's all :)

[clownboymcchucklefuck]

Colored Gaze: Seth Is The Most Dangerous LI.

sorry for it being kinda shorter than the others- I'm allergic to Seth. 💀

So we've all assumed that Seth is the safest LI for the longest time. But I have hard evidence that this is the complete opposite from the truth.

First off all is this art from Tumblr and Twitter that I'm really surprised that nobody has talked about before

So we already have seen visually that Seth is violent.

May I also remind you guys that the dev mentioned "hints that are in plain sight" which I think is a direct lead to Seth. Since he looks dangerous because he is dangerous.

There was also a time where I think somebody asked about what Seth was like when mad and it didn't say specifically but is did say that whenever Avery ghosted Seth that Seth didn't allow anybody around him for I think it was a while because of how mad he got. That should've been yalls first red flag smh 😒

Also this:

Now I'm not saying Seth can't be all chill and shit. But the thing you have to look out for is if he ever gets mad. And keep in mind that if MC does the right things/acts a certain way that he can be very clingy and I can only imagine how easy it is to anger him. And may I remind you that you won't be able to fight back because that mf is 6 foot and has childhood trauma.

Thats another thing, Seth is the strongest out of all the LI. TECHNICALLY SPEAKING, ZACHARY IS SAFER THAN HIM. 

Me and Kam [@dont-wannadothis-anymore] have also theorized in the past that he may have some links with the government, considering his job is left to player interpretation and that he's smart af too.

Also, has anybody talked about how its possible that Seth might have something supernatural? Not like a certain somebody but I mean in like a hex/curse type of way since its been mentioned that the family was into dark arts.

I've thought about it some and my immediate thoughts was perhaps a curse, I've heard of actual witches and such using snakes in curses/rituals so yeah, thats what my guess is so far. Maybe something like a naga?

Going back to him being dangerous, I have also noticed that it doesn't take much to get Seth mad. For instance, calling him the name his adoptive parents gave him.

And its very possible he might have some anger issues because bro got childhood trauma and we all know how that plays out most the time. 🧍‍♂️

Now once again like I said before, I do belive that Seth can be all chill and a little cutie patootie sometimes but do not let that fool you. I feel like alot of people forget that the whole point of Colored Gaze is finding out the LI's true personality and not just what's on the outside and you guys need to take that into consideration. ESPECIALLY with Seth. And with that all said- [evaporates].

___________________________

Seth belongs to - @clrdgaze

@dont-wannadothis-anymore @mysticnebula

[suspiciousspidey]

Tony Stark Fic Recs

A list of my favorite fics featuring Tony Stark, from tumblr and ao3.

Writers: If you'd like your fic removed from this list, please send me a message!

Reminder: As always, your media consumption is your responsibility. Please read the writers content warnings/tags! And, if you like their work? Spread some love to them!

Drunken Confessions by @larcenywrites

- Tony makes a drunken confession, and a conversation is had the next morning. The smut in this is so sO good.

BOTH Masterlists by @larcenywrites

- Just trust me. It's all good. You want to read it all.

- Author's Summary: "Soulmates AU - Sally Manners has spent her life avoiding the man whose name is etched on the inside of her thigh. Until suddenly she can't. No tie in with any other fics I've written. Tony/OC"

Cover You In Oil by Star_trekkin_across_theuniverse on ao3 (to read this one you must be logged into an ao3 account)

- This is SO GOOD. It's one of the first tony/oc fics I've ever read and it's one I do go back to.

Exile All The Longer by Darsynia on ao3 (also on Tumblr @darsynia)

- Author's Summary: "Tony lost Pepper in the Snap. What he gains, what EARTH gains, is a 'gift' from Thanos: Soulmates. Some say that the mad Titan used the stones to do this out of respect for Earth's role in his grand design, others say it's to make those left behind complacent, docile-- even grateful.

Tony isn't grateful. He's pissed. His Words are a cruel slap in the face, and the whole concept is bullshit. He spends a year doing right by the world with his company and then settles down to build his lake house. Tony falls for his smart, gorgeous architect as easy as breathing, all the while feeling self-righteous about the whole 'inevitability' of Soulmates. He's beat the system, fallen in love the old-fashioned way. All Tony has to do is get her to actually speak to him, instead of by text or email.

And then she does. She says his Words."

- YALL. THE SLOW BURN IN THIS?? Godly. It is SO GOOD. So detailed. The angst??? Whoooo buddy. This fic had me on the edge of my seat, biting my fist, it was that good. It had me by the throat and honestly it still does. I should probably be embarrassed of how many times I've reread it, but I'm not.

Two Wicks, One Flame by AmberSnapeBlack on ao3

- Author's Summary: "Emma has had it rough her whole life. Her experiences have shaped her into who she is today, a twenty three year old bus girl with no self esteem or backbone. She hates the lime light...well she hates socializing at all. She has never paid her soul mark any mind. Most days, she forgets it even exists. That will change for her in a way she never anticipated.

What comes with bearing the soul mark of the man who is the forefront of the Avengers? Who is almost always in lime light? Who is possibly, already taken? Does she want to know?"

- SUCH A GOOD FIC. You can't help but root for Emma. There are real sweet parts but some real angsty ones too. Also, it was interesting to read a fic with Pep being a not-so-nice-guy.

[thetreestumptherapist]

Why the flood is so terrifying

Here is the flood terror post I promised yall.

I was going to include a star wars - halo mashup post in this one, but I feel that would make it too long.

Also, this is the post that I made the "accidental deletions" post about. I am still in pain...

The Flood is a zombie. But, it's a different type of zombie and in my opinion the best and most terrifying zombie to this day. If you have any suggestions for a more terrifying zombie after reading this post, please do let me know.

Lets start with it's infection style. It has 4 main forms, the infection forms, the combat forms, the growth pod forms (idk what those ones are officially called), and the Gravemind. The infections forms literally eat their way into the chest cavity and corrupt from the inside out, growing mass so fast that the unfortunate victim's head pops off and sticks out the side, and the infection form takes its place. That alone is terrifying. Canonically marines have killed themselves so they didn't have to deal with this thing. The flood corrupts you like a cancer, and it corrupts at ungodly speeds. If you are infected, there is no cure. You are gone in seconds, turned into a hive-minded killing machine. In some cases the flood won't immediately take its host's mind, but will instead slowly infect their mind while digging through it for information, essentially absorbing the victim's mind into it's own. Also, Graveminds are able to store information at an external source, so if it gets destroyed, and another one gets made, it will have all the information from the previous Graveminds. This thing has decades to centuries of information on humans and the other species.

Now let's move to its attack patterns:

On little battlegrounds, it overwhelms you. The flood is a numbers game. It throws hordes of infection forms at you, and uses combat forms to disable/occupy you so the infection forms can take over your body. On the larger scale though, the flood is terrifyingly smart. It goes for utilities, governments, etc. It takes out the electricity and moves around in the dark. It takes out figures of power, causing disorder and mass chaos, leaving the people confused, scared, and easier to attack.

(This is the point I had to retype from because I accidentally highlighted and deleted like 2 paragraphs (-_-) also I'm not gonna get the same wording I had before which annoys me immensely)

I once saw a youtube short where a person said the flood could take over the earth in just 7 days. 7. Days. one week. over 8 billion people. With each infection adding to the Flood's army, spreading faster and faster. Eventually forming a Gravemind, and corrupting the Earth itself. Probably forming a super flood capable of slip-space travel on it's own. (I had to look this up on the flood wiki to make sure I had some facts right, and found out that there are sub-forms as well. And I couldn't find much on the super flood form, other than the fact that this form is actually only theoretical) (Also, having read some of the wiki, that's some super fascinating and morbid information on that page. If I'm not careful I'll end up in a wiki deep dive and forget to finish this post. Highly recommend reading it) It is insanely lucky that Chief and Thel were there when the flood attacked because earth wouldn't have stood a chance without them there at the moment of infection. In the words of Rtas 'Vadum "One single flood spore can wipe out an entire species."

(This is where I had written to, before the deletion. From this point its all new stuff) (I can't remember what I was going to say after this point either and I'm really mad)

Rtas was ready to glass the entire earth to make sure the flood didn't spread. Honestly, i can't blame him and fully understand why he would do that. The flood took over High Charity in a matter of hours. And took only a few days to make a hive out of the city. The flood took over an entire Covenant city in HOURS.

I think it's important to mention that the Flood is one of the only things to ever make Chief feel truly scared. I don't remember where I read/saw it. It may have been in a skimming of the flood book (I want to read it but haven't had time), but I read that the Chief wasn't scared of much at all, but the flood, it scared him. Like, he was genuinely afraid of it.

Flood Fun fact: the flood is actually caused by corrupted Precursor dust which caused madness and mutations in those that came into contact with it. I thought it infected a fungus first and then spread to animals and humans, but I guess not because I can't find anything about that. I did find that the humans actually experimented on animals with the dust, and then went mad themselves. I guess I have a lot of reading to do.

Speed summary on the background of the precursors and the dust: they got in a war with the forerunners and almost got wiped out so they became dust that was supposed to reincarnate them later but it got corrupted and started infecting people and eventually became the flood we know today

The articles I have done my best to research and fact check with for this post:

Look at how similar the flood looks to the precursors.

I have exhausted my words for this post. I can't think of anything else to say without giving the ENTIRE history of the flood and while I'm sure most of you wouldn't mind that, I feel that would be too much so I included the links to the wiki pages in this post. The flood is the most terrifying enemy I can think of from a realistic point of view. Like, if we had to fight this thing irl, we're all screwed. We could handle possessed animatronics, we could handle jedi and sith, we could even handle the covenant, (barely, but I think we could do it). But, the flood? We're toast.

[writers-vlogx]

yandere rafa kidnaps his ex from her wedding

(rafa is dramatic as fuck,you would have come if he had just asked)

OHHH YALL ARE SOME SMART MF HE WOULD ABSOLUTELY DO THAT

Rafael caro quintero kidnapping you on your wedding day

Okay I can see this going one of two ways, the first being yall would have been dating before, but you broke up because you just couldn't stand seeing him hurt

And while it hurt you leaving him, you never stopped loving him. Neither did he stop keeping tabs on you, and eventually finds out your going to get married

The other way that I can see this going is your family doesn't know about him and decided to marry you to someone of their choice, and you ask him to come crash the wedding but for the sake of my own sanity it's gonna be the first option

You tried okay? You tried so hard to move on even if your heart ached, when you started seeing someone else it didn't feel right

You felt repulsed by him, but you had to because you had promised to never see him again.

When you came into his house that day, and decided to break his heart. You had told him you were tired of this, that you were tired of him

But that wasn't true "ya no puedo hacer esto Rafael, estoy cansada de todo esto, estoy cansada de tus cosas" No please look at me I'm sorry I hurt you! "Siempre es el negocio y no me contestas por semanas" No why do you look so hurt let me hold you I promise to never do that again "Honestamente estoy viendo a alguien más, alguien que si sabe que es amar" NO I didn't mean it please my heart only belongs to you I could never leave you!! "Así que, no me busques porfavor" amd with that you left, you left him behind and sometimes you think you might have left your heart right in front of that door along with him

You tried so hard to love again, but you couldn't; your heart didn't beat for anyone but rafa

And it seems unreal but time kept moving and when you least expected it; you were getting married

Ever since that day you left Rafael in that house, something inside him snapped

He became cold, when he was drunk he cried a lot and even when you told him to forget about you. He never forgot, instead he actually became obsessed with knowing where you were, with who and why

Felix became worried over him and tried to introduce him to other women, tried to get him to date but he was never interested; he wanted you and no one else

When he heard you were getting married? That was his breaking point

He refused to see you be anyone else's so he rounded up his people and got ready because he was having you, he didn't care whether you hated him or not

The day of the wedding came, everyone kept congratulating you and asking you how you felt, in truth however you felt nothing

You had imagined this moment many times, how he would look, where it would be and how joyful you would feel seeing him but this was not rafa and now it was too late to back out, so with dread you walked up to the altar ready to seal your vows, to lose your freedom

But that's when you heard it, men dressed in all black with guns shooting at the roof of the church and a man in front of all of them dressed exactly the same, but that voice...

You recognized who that was especially by the way he looked at you, he was angry

"TODOS AL SUELO, HIJOS DE SU CHINGADA MADRE, NO VA HABER BODA HOY NI NUNCA" with that he grabbed you by the wrist and before you could say anything else

BANG

He had shot the man in the head in cold blood, while his men kept everyone in their place, he started dragging you out of the church into a car that looked too familiar not to remember

When he finally got in the car you pulled his mask off to see him, his hair was messy, and he was sweating, a frown on his face

He opened his mouth as if to protest shu5 down whatever you had to say when you just kiss him, kissed him because of the nights that you spent without him, the days missing him and regretting leaving him, but out of anything else, you felt pain in how you broke his heart and walked out the door

You wanted nothing more than to feel him and never pull away, to beg him for forgiveness because you missed him so much it physically hurt

He thought you would be mad, furious even but you were the complete opposite, you held his face so delicately and smiled at him

"Hay no sabes cuanto te eh extrañando rafael, perdóname por todo te juro que nunca quise hacerte daño perdóname por favor" you were grabbing at his hands, face buried in his chest, like you needed to be as physically close as possible or you would vanish

"Oye calmada amor, no te disculpes porfavor, pero enserió como se te ocurre dejarme y irte con otro hijo de la chingada eh?" He understood you needed him, but he could still feel the anger inside him, because that man touched you, because he had the audacity to try to take what was his

" y a ti como se te ocurre ir y destruir una boda? Si no querías que me casara me pudiste haber dicho" you crossed your arms, but a smile gave it all away

You werent mad at him, and he wasn't mad at you, but you both had missed each other for the longest "ay ven aquí, me importa poco si te cansas de mi, me perteneces a mi y no voy a volver a dejar que te alejes de mi" he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead "ahora si vamos de aquí, okay amor" he looked down at you laying on his lap "I wouldn't want it any other way, mi rafa" somehow after all of this, it seemed it made yall stronger and just like he said, he won't let you escape again.

Okay whoever send me that thank you so much, made ya boi very happy, you know sometimes I hope rafa would be bi so I may imagine he would date me and love me 🤦🏻‍♂️

[reefs-camp-blog]

someone: makes a post talking abt how smart percy is

people in the notes: dont forget annabeth!!!!!

like yall please give this boy some credit for being smart

ik its strange and all having a malewife character who can actually think for himself but im sure you can manage

he does not need annabeth any more then she needs him

they are equals

just. treat them like that??? please??????

[forever-fixating]

WIP Wednesday

Shout out to @onthewaytosomewhere @priincebutt and @piratefalls for the tags! Second verse, same as the first; we got two WIP teases today again from living in a new normal and A Tournament for His Heart! Both bits are spicy (or spicy-adjacent). Enjoy, loves!

living in a new normal

(Alex is italics, Henry is regular)

Check your inbox. After our last conversation, let’s just say I was…inspired. Enjoy, love.

OMFG!!!!

fuck, baby. that was…

Did I break you?

shut the fuck up

Now is that any way to show your gratitude?

im sorry, im sorry

i really fucking loved it

thank u

There’s my good boy. You’re very welcome, love.

i want to be good for u, ur baby boy

I like the sound of that.

i wish i had something to call u when we talk like this

Why don’t you Google some titles?

fucking duh, ur so smart or im just braindead from that fucking story

okay so im scanning this article and i think i found something

promise to tell me if its lame?

I’m certain it won’t be, but I give you my word regardless.

so theres the usual stuff like sir or daddy

which i dont really like

sir feels too impersonal or whatever and there is only one man i call daddy and thats my actual father

Of course, love. Whatever makes you feel safe and comfortable.

but i kinda like my lord?

cause ur hot and british

like not to be an american cliche but ur fucking accent does things to me, baby

I love it.

And you’re not the only cliche here, Alex. I’m not sure if you realize it, but your accent seems to come out in certain settings, like when you’re drunk or extremely aroused.

u can just say horny hehe

so im ur baby boy and ur my lord?

Sounds perfect, love.

yay!!!

A Tournament for His Heart

“Fuck me,” he begged as Vincent took his spot behind Henry, stroking his quivering hole with a calloused finger. “Make me forget who I am.”

Vincent reached for the vile of oil on the small table next to his bed, and Henry turned his head to watch him slick up his fingers. Soon, Henry was full, those gifted digits stretching him and reaching that sweet spot inside that made Henry moan. But that was not enough. Henry reached behind him to stroke Vincent’s cock, begging, “I’m ready. Please, fuck me hard.”

Vincent smacked his ass and took his cock in hand. Henry groaned as he slid inside him. Once he sensed Henry was ready, he began fucking the prince at a relentless pace. One hand gripped Henry’s hips while the other yanked on his hair, sucking a bruise on his racing pulse that Henry would have to hide with a spell for days afterward. But it was worth it. For a heady moment, the world and its many troubles were held at bay as they took what their bodies needed. Henry let his eyes fall closed and imagined Alex. Did he seek out comfort in another’s arms as Henry did? Would he hate Henry for what he did now?

Forgive me, cariad, Henry pleaded as Vincent’s cock pistoned in and out of him like a raging bull.

Henry came with a broken sob, and Vincent soon followed, groaning as they both collapsed onto their sides on the mattress. As Henry struggled to catch his breath, Vincent nuzzled his neck and stroked his hip, his cock still buried deep inside Henry. It felt nice, loving even, though no such thing existed between them.

“Will you stay tonight?” Vincent asked. “Surely whatever troubled you will keep for an evening.”

Henry thought of returning to the palace, of lying in a cold, dark bedchamber alone, and he wanted to weep. He knew he would be reprimanded if it were discovered where he had gone and what he did. But here, in his substitute lover’s arms, he felt cherished, if only for a moment.

He let himself relax into Vincent’s rough but warm embrace and closed his eyes, whispering, “I’ll stay.”

A/N- Don't worry yall; Henry's heart still belongs to Alex. He just needs to be held (and other things) in the meantime. Chapter one is basically finished, I just need to rewrite the beginning a little to add another character. And much like Alex, I have a peekaboo Southern accent. Chapter three of LNN is about halfway done, I just have two more cities to get through. This chapter will be an epistolary chapter of longing journal entries between the boys and fun text convos. I'm kinda in love with it, and I hope you will be too! I just finalized the band's European tour schedule. Anyone interested in a sneak peek?

Later, taters!

I think most of the people I usually tag have already been tagged, so open tag!

[ibusukiss]

Boueibu Rewatch

Thursday's for the Boys! 2

Season 1 - Episodes 4-6

Episode 4

the moment kinatsu was born

i really forgot how much mofumofuing there is 😂

i think oyaji was a precursor to kyotaro

still dont know what anime atsushi is talking about

ok also oyaji is the most humany monster? for some reason?

i gotta say;;;; this ep was what really solidified boueibu in my heart;;;; for Reasons;;; 👀

interesting, that far-away shot shows what all of Binan looks like and it seems really rural and isolated, have they been country boys this whole time?

kodomo Io just sounds like Ramuda

"he'll never become a bishounen" was the crisis i had to go through starting testosterone 😂 ive become a bear cub instead 😂

wow kinchan is such a pretty boi, im glad he had character growth but i really loved evil kinchan

atsushi u don't remember kinchan's wish to zettai zutto tomodachi with you how dare

Episode 5

OKAY - yall, i always believed that if there ever was a new season or smthn with ALL the boys (LIKE WE'RE GETTING) then the perfect ultimate enemies would be the press society- we know them already, and itd be so cool to see them as magical boys, and then we dont have the gamble of introducing new charas that we may or may not like??

EGUZACTULY

yumoto mofu mofu gooning

fiirusofainu

mold teacher omg nice magnus archives reference

hehe tazawu long black hair bangs red eyes my typu

wow En actually made me yawn

PS was such a staple part of s1 and i always forget about them lol

how do i not remember this monster at all

wom-san oppression

was there ever a smut fic that used loveracelet shocks erotically, asking for a friend

love how you can always tell how much time they need to kill each ep by which version of the transformations they use

ohhhhh yes this monster. completely forgot about him.

Episode 6

Ioryuu ep lets gooo

oh my god the student council lunch table

THE SMIRK FROM EN - OHHHH THE TENSION ENKIN HAF THE WHOLE TIME!!! that was such a choice, to have En be aware of kinchan enough to smirk at him, holy fuck how did i forget this. and so smart to have that moment before wr know ehat happened between them. no wonder this show had such an iron grip on us, it's so smart abt fanservicy moments that are unique from any other show

AKOYAAA i love that lil bitch

En just saying they have a dead animal in the clubroom. so bold.

ok...if Io would be the treasurer for the SC...what is Akoya's position??? Do they ever say???

If there had been a boueibu member in HK to join the SC i always thought itd be Taishi

omg i remember the whole fandom being so sad that Io was gone from the transformations

Once again. Reasons. 👀

atsushi's face kills me

'i will not tolerate you touching him' wow io how platonic of you

it took HALF the season for boueibu and seitokai to MEET

i love kinchan saying lunchtime he so cute

[regina-cordium]

me? responding to a post i got tagged in? wild!

got tagged by @renninflight

Rules: always post the rules. answer the questions the person who tagged you has written and write eleven new ones. tag 11 new people and link them to your post. let them know you’ve tagged them

except. i never know who to tag for these. if u see this tagged ur it. ill put questions at the end

under cut, because as yall know im a Yapper

What's your favorite band/musician? (And tell me why! And if you've seen them live!)

I'm a Hozier girlie thru and thru. he was in boston in march AND HAD NOAH KAHN AND I COULDNT GO AND IM STILL SO DISAPPOINTED. A N D HE WAS AT BOSTON CALLING AND I C O U L D N ' T G O auuuuugh

What's something you're proud of?

i dont mean this in, like, a self deprecating way. but i honestly dont know what to say. i got dean's list a couple times in college. i won some kinda award and now my name is on a plaque in the english department, thats kinda dope (i, to this day, have no idea what it was for)

What's something you like about yourself?

i do tell my parents they overestimate how smart i am, but i will say i am p good with trivia/knowing random things. nothing better than getting most of a jeopardy board right (<- needs to go outside more)

What's something you would like to do, if money weren't an obstacle?

i would literally never leave school. i love learning things (see above)

What's something you do when you're anxious or stressed to calm down and relax?

listen to music, sometimes Very Loudly

Do you have a favorite author? (If so, who?)

im totally blanking, but i dont really think so? theres not really an author that i see and immediately go "oh i gotta read ALL of their stuff RIGHT NOW" yknow?

Do you have a favorite poet? (If so, who?)

emily dickinson. yes, i am gay, how'd you know?

Do you have a favorite artist? (You can probably guess the rest of this question!)

van gogh!!!!!!! i know its such a basic bitch answer, but i L O V E the impressionists

What's a movie or TV show that had a big impact on you? (Could be something you watched growing up, a movie you saw recently that made you emotional, something you've seen a lot, something you quote with friends and family, etc)

i would watch beauty and the beast on vhs CONSTANTLY growing up. tv show wise, definitely buffy and angel and charmed. watched them with ma growing up and they have absolutely shaped my interests since then. also, and i swear im not being sarcastic, supernatural. ma and i watched every goddamn episode together since the pilot and look at me now.

What's something you wish you could forget? (Could be something personal, or it could just be a gross or weird fact)

not to get Very Fucking Morbid, but my dad almost died when i was 12 and i'd super love to forget that, actually

What's something you'd like to change about the world?

I Cannot Emphasize Enough That You Should Care About Other People

okay here're my questions. if u got this far, u are doubly tagged. idk i never know who to tag.

Song you've had on repeat lately?

Favorite play/musical (or both!)?

Book/movie/show you think somebody should read/watch to understand you better?

What's your favorite poem?

What's immediately to your left?

Favorite dessert?

Somewhere you'd love to travel, if money/accommodations were no issue?

Tv show currently/last watched?

Do you think aliens are real?

Do you think ghosts are real?

Do you have overly specific requirements for a room when you're trying to sleep?

[ballplayersxo]

to the anons that have been around Paolo or have had relations with him I have a few questions lol 

1. How does he smell? (From experience I know some athletes already have bad breath/hygiene) & he admitted that he sweats alot.

he doesnt smell bad, he has hyperhydrosis (excessive sweating) but he drinks pedialite and stays on top of showering at least what ive seen. i got him creed aventus for his bday and he loves the scent and hes into cologne.

2. Does he kiss? 

this made me laugh out loud girl of COURSE are yall dealing with men that dont kiss?? if youre asking if hes a good kisser id say hes improved but at the beginning was meh.

3. And last, what are y’all height? (I’m just tryna see if he’s into short girls lol)

im 5’9 so im tall but im sure he doesnt care about height why would he? hes a sweetheart and actually smart and funny which surprised me. hes also kinda hood which also surprised me.

im w a dolphins player who ive been on and off with for two years so p has been a fun distraction when me and my man get into it but since ive been back good w my man we havent spoken since the beginning of this month. dont be afraid to go for him anon, dont forget these niggas are just a button away!

when i update my instagram and find a way to secure these niggas too >>> LMAO but i think paolo seems like a really good guy face concerns aside. like he seems like a cutie i love submissions about him