#some of these are just me nitpicking or me wanting to click on as few things and move my mouse as little as possible lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

voltronisanobsession · 3 months ago

Note

heyy! i was hoping to request a percy x eris! reader.

like since eris is the goddess of strife everyone thinks the reader would be all dark and gloomy all the time, but reader is a literal ball of sunshine, complete opposite of what everyone says.

but just because reader’s personality is opposite of their mom it doesn’t mean they doesn’t use their powers. i was thinking they have the ability to create conflict, like during battle and stuff reader can make their opponents fight eachother.

following the creating conflict thing, i also think reader is very good at arguing. whether it be something small or big, they always win. this would drive the camp nuts with reader always getting their way. i think percy would secretly like this because he thinks reader deserves whatever they want and more

thank you!

Percy with Eris!Reader

OOOOO ME LIKEEYYYY!!! The way i had a RUSH of inspiration reading this!

Has anyone watched that one mlp equestria girls movie about the sirens? And how they're music caused everyone to go against each other? Well this definitely reminded me of them lol

Also lowkey less centered around Percy SORRY😭😭😭😭😭 I was just so focused on baddie reader😔

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS IDEA

Despite there being very few children of Eris now, I feel like most people know of the destructive power her offsprings hold

There's even cautionary tales amongst half-bloods to leave an area where discord settles in human hearts unless you want to backstab your friends

Children of Eris have been known to lack empathy for others, preferring to watch as people tear each other part over the littlest of things

This had made them starting catalysts for wars back in the day, until Olympus decided 'reducing' Eris' children would be better for human-kind

Her children still roam the world though, spreading chaos and strife just by their mere presence

Now when Percy was told this information for his quest to retrieve one of Eris' children and bring them back to camp, he was not expecting reader to be such a bubbly person

Homeboy was ready to battle them and take them back to camp by force if he needed to, something he really didn't want to do, but he was very much confused and unsettled to see how different reader was to what he was told

Instead of being a dark brooding figure, taking delight in chaos you were creating, you sat by your lonesome, appearing upset with all the arguing and fighting happening around you

While people yelled at each other, you would try to help them settle down and make peace, though this would only cause louder arguing between everyone

Everywhere you went, you spread discord and strife amongst the people you passed

Couples on dates would find the smallest thing to nitpick their partners over, customers and workers would argue over the dumbest inconvenience that shouldn't have bothered anyone

It was as if you were the living embodiment of 'having a bad day'

So when he finally approaches you, he couldn't stop the fluttering in his heart at the sight of your bright smile!

You were kind and compliant when he told you of his quest, something he wasn't expecting at all

Percy was waiting for you to at least put up some fight but you never did. Instead you just followed him with a pep in your step, happily talking to him about any and everything

Reader's presence itself causes calamity, their aura affecting everybody near them. It's puts people in a trance

I feel like people would see reader as a bad omen, a source of bad luck to stay away from

This shows with their interactions with Percy!

He sees that you're a naturally friendly person, but you always seem a little desperate talking with him

Like you think that he's gonna leave once he knows how unforgiving your power truly is😔

When he sees you use your power for the first time against some monsters chasing you, it sort of clicks just how controlling you actually are

The monster once working together now clash against each other after only a few minutes of finding you both

You'd glare at them and flick your hands towards them, a wave of your discord hitting them head on

"You've messed with the wrong person, I will not tolerate this disrespect."

Even reader knows their own power and influence to cause strife within anything

Honestly this serves as a perfect distraction for any situation cuz any party involved is gonna be too busy to notice the two of you sneaking by them

Of course there are people who are able to resist readers influence, those who are powerful enough to clear their mind from them. Percy is included in this category

Once you settle in camp, most people avoid you for the most part even when you finally control your mother's given powers💔💔

You try to approach people with a friendly smile and positive attitude but I guess people get too wary

The cabin you would most get along with is Ares, no doubt

It's just nature for children of Eris and Ares to get along as the gods themselves have worked together in the past on many occasions

Percy still sticks close to your side though, always reassuring you when you feel like giving up on making any friends

I think campers would start approaching Eris!Reader more once they witness them arguing with Dionysus over a situation

Whether it be over something simple as a cancelled game of capture the flag, or sending people out on an important quest that cannot wait, it's clear that the argument is in readers favor

The god and demigod are both quick witted, making back and forth talk look as easy as breathing

Its obvious your natural power backs the wine god himself into a corner when he cant find another excuse for his decision

And really? He'll never win an argument against the god of strife and discord's child

He sees Eris' unforgiving gaze in your eyes

So he puffs his chest and mutters a few words before disappearing with a low, "It's your life, not mine."

Reader def gets brownie points from the camp for not backing down against Dionysus

Hell even Percy is cheering you on as everyone surrounds you

"You're so cool! I don't think i could ever speak like that to Dionysus of all people."

"Oh it was really nothing..."

"Come on, you got the big dog to agree with you! That's like, never heard of!"

"Yeah!"

I think everything would be smooth sailing from there

People know not to drag you into any fight/arguments cuz they know you'll win regardless

And if you do find yourself in one, you already know Percy is gonna be such a big instigator like bro go away LMAO💀

You two would get along so well since he's able to keep up with your quick remarks

And after everything you've been through, and how much he's helped you in changing your life, it's after one dinner night when you confess your growing feelings for the boy

He's gotten to know you for the person you are, not for the person people say you are

Percy knows you're more than just your mother's child, a vessel of discord

He knows that you’re a good-natured person at heart and you've poured your heart into fixing everything you cause destruction to

He happily accepts your feeling, awkwardly admitting he's felt the same for some time 😅(what a cutie patootie)

Honestly I see sm potential for Eris!Reader, especially if they were like an antagonistic character

They don't even have to get their hands dirty to have their enemies succumbing to them

Badass demigod with a badass boyfriend

What more could you ask for lol😜

ALSO

He knows not to get into any fights with you cuz you will win in the end, whether you were right or not

The most he can do is put up a good fight😭

#pjo x reader #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x you #percy jackson and the olympians x reader #pjo headcanons #pjo #Percy jackson #Percy jackson headcanons #percy pjo #x reader #headcanons #percy jackon and the olympians

164 notes · View notes

billieeilishbigsimp · 4 months ago

Text

The internet is hungry for the meanest kind of funny and somebody's gotta feed it

Warning: smut, bodyshaming, mention of eating disorder, hateful people that's s all I think

Dom billie x Sub fem reader

A/n this is my first ever smut and also first fic. Please be nice. I'm sorry for any spelling errors or mistakes

Word count 1,453

Men and minors Dni

You and billie had just announced your relationship to the world a few days ago telling her fans on a live that you both have been seeing each other for the last year. You were so happy to be out and be able to be spotted in public and not have to sneak around. But your happiness was short-lived when your Instagram was flooded with a bunch of random notifications you weren't surprised due to Billie's huge fan base, but what you were surprised by the comments that were left on your Instagram post it was a bunch of nasty comments talking and nitpicking your body and looks.

"I'm happy for billie, but couldn't she choose anybody else?"

"Why does her body look like that?"

"Maybe you should gain/lose some weight."

"Eh, she is decent looking. billie could have done better."

The comments brought tears to your eyes as there was more and more coming in by the minute you had spent the last hour just scrolling and reading the comments. You couldn't stop crying. You had already been dealing with an eating disorder, and you finally felt like you had been getting better. That was until you read those comments. You would have kept reading if it wasn't for hearing the sound of keys and your front door opening and closing.

"Mamas, I'm home." You hear Billie's sweet voice call out to you. You rub your eyes, trying to mask the fact you were crying. You run to her and hug her tight she smiles and sighs, giving you a kiss on the cheek. "Missed me?" You just nod and keep holding her, which billie didn't take it as off since you were usually clingy

"I bought your favorite" billie holds up two bags one was of your favorite food from your favorite restaurant and the other from her favorite vegan restaurant she smiles but it drops when she sees that you don't look very happy she puts the bags down on the table and puts her hand on your cheek looking at you "what's wrong babygirl? You look upset" You just shake your head and put on a smile not wanting to tell her about the comments and ruin her good mood after a stressful day but she could tell something is wrong she puts her hand on your waist as she caresses your cheek with her other "talk to me"

"Billie, it's no big deal. Don't worry, what did you get?" But her eyes narrow as she looks at you she knew something was up, but she doesn't push it as you guys sit down on the couch and eat she has you sit on her lap as she rubs your thigh from time to time and kisses your neck your phone kept buzzing with notifications she asks to see your phone since you both trust each other so it was normal to hand each other your phones you gave it to her without hesitation she looks and sees that it was your Instagram that had flooded with comments she curiously clicks on them and started to read them and she was appalled at how many people who had claimed to be her "fans" and happy for her had such disgusting things to say about you it made her blood boil

She desperately wanted to comment back to them, but she knew she shouldn't she had a better idea in mind once you were done eating she started leaving soft kisses on your neck as her hands went around and caressed you moving up your sides and whispering sweet words in your ear

"You know how pretty you are, right babygirl?"

"You're so beautiful, I love you. I hope you know that."

Billie reaches out and takes your hand she pulls you up and takes you to the bedroom when you walk in ahead of her she reaches back and locks the door walking towards you and biting her lip she wraps her arms around your waist kissing you the kissing went from soft and gentle to rough and passionate. You heard her voice speak

"I saw those comments you don't believe those dumb people do you?" She asks and when she sees you look down and fidget with your fingers avoiding to answer her questions she sits down on the edge of the bed and pulls you down to your lap the thing about your bed set up was that you had a mirror on the wall facing the bed billie smirked as she rests her head on your shoulder. She reaches down and her fingers sneak under the waistband of your pants and she starts to rub your cloth covered clit starting off slowly making you whine.

"Billie, what are you doing..." she just smiles and kisses your cheek.

"I am gonna make you realize how beautiful you really are." She said before moving your panties to the side and rubbing your clit she speeds up a little making you moan her other hand moving from around and goes up to play with your breasts foundling them and pinching your ripples in between her fingers she kisses on your shoulder and neck "mm.. you're so beautiful, mamas don't listen to those people."

Billie then takes her middle finger and ring finger tracing your entrance, teasing you before she pushes them inside, loving the moans that escape your lips when you lean your head back against her shoulder she slows down her pace making you whine "no no look at the mirror baby look at how pretty you are taking my fingers like a good girl" she kisses your cheek as you look at the mirror with lided eyes a faint blush on your cheeks due to embarrassment "billie" You moan out her name as she speeds up adding another finger. She just shushes you, telling you to take it and saying how beautiful you are she pinches your nipple one more time. feeling yourself get closer and closer to your climax, rocking your hips against her fingers, billie could tell you were close by the way you were clenching on her fingers

Before you could cum she gets up pushes you off her lap onto all fours in front of the mirror whining at the lose of contact you try rubbing your thighs together for a small bit of friction but you were left unsatisfied. When billie came back a blindfold and a purple strap on wrapped around her waist, she lines up your hole and her dildo before slowly pushing inside. "You like that, Mama?" She says before pushing all the way in you couldn't even answer her back mouth a gap with and eyes fighting stay open hot tears running down your cheeks when you don't answer billie slaps your ass "don't make me ask you again" you moan out "y-yes feels s'good" she smirks grabbing a fist full of your hair pulling it as she continues to pound you. Your ass bouncing against her front. The only sounds being heard in the room were the sound of skin slapping against one another and your filthy moans filling the room.

"Close baby?" Billie ask swaying her hair to the other side as she fucks you with her strap. All you could do was nod and beg to cum "please let me cum billie please n-need..... need to feel good" billie picks up her pace going faster "cum for me babygirl" and with that you feel yourself going over the edge your arms giving out only thing holding you up was your shaking legs and on you shoulder fsce buried in the pillow moaning her name and other praise. Billie's head goes back as she continues slowly riding out your orgasm before slowly pulling out, fully leaving you feeling empty. She takes off the strap, picking you up and taking into the bathroom setting you down on the edge of the bath and she runs a bubble bath for you and her making sure to add your favorite bath bombs. She sats you down in between her legs, rubbing up your back with soap, massaging your shoulders while kissing your cheek, whispering sweet nothings into your ear. After she was done washing you and her up and drying you both off. She puts on a sports bra and boxers while putting on one of her oversized t-shirts on you, tucking you both into bed. Before going to sleep, she takes a picture of you both cuddling, posting it on her Instagram with the caption "I love my girlfriend, if you hate on her don't bother calling yourself my fan if you can't truly be happy for me"

#billie eilish #billie eilish x reader #billie eilish x you #billie eilish x y/n #billie eilish x fem!reader #billie eilish imagine #billie eilish smut #billie eilish songs #billie eilish x reader smut #billie eilish fanfiction #billie eilish fic #lesbian #wlw #wlw post #billie eilish skinny #hit me hard and soft #Spotify

55 notes · View notes

lilithess · 2 years ago

Text

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS IV

capricorn suns are super wild (!!!) and easy to click with. nowhere near the boring capricorn stereotype. they are hardworking, reliable and tough people, but FUN! they have this motherly aura, more so than cancers. a capricorn to me is like a middle aged woman who decided to go wild after a few glasses of wine. and they’re not as judgmental as people claim them to be. the judgy rigid part that everyone talks about goes more for cap moons and mercuries.

aquarius loves a bit of drama (especially men) and wants attention (especially women), but not in a “in your face” way, not in a desperate way. they will keep their cool at all times, it’s like they’re constantly trying to maintain a persona. but if you read between the lines, you’ll notice the competitivness and ego trips. they all have a little “notice me” sittin inside. leo is just more open about it. aquarius men are highly unbothered. aquarius women remind me of closeted scorpio women.

comparing virgo men and virgo women. i don’t know a single nitpicky virgo man. they’re actually all so different. if i met a virgo man, i’d had never guessed it’s him because there’s nothing really that stands out as a common trait. women share the intensity and are incredibly smart and shrewd. i think this sign’s intelligence goes unnoticed. it gives such a “quality” person, even tho the nitpicking can be annoying

geminis can lack a backbone and boundaries a lot, especially at young age. not sure what’s with the “player” stereotype bc i can’t imagine being manipulated by a gemini (especially a guy). they’re honestly kids. however, the gemini as in the sign itself and what it represents has a sort of dangerous potential. they can really be indifferent about matters that i’ve seen no one else be so indifferent about. sort of like “who cares so why not?” lifestyle. they’ll laugh at their own pain like it’s nothing so why not at yours? they have a troll like nature to them and their curiosity has no limits. can be a very dark sign who, for some reason, is considered a light social butterfly.

no one attracts jealousy as well as a leo placement, especially leo rising, venus, and preferably leo stellium. i know a leo rising and that energy ate up her whole chart. no mind her virgo or 12H placements, she’s just OUT THERE in the spotlight always stealing the show. however, i think leo’s intelligence should be apreciated more bc these people are really more than just a diva in a leopard crop top. i’ve seen leo placements dumb themselves down (very annoying) and honestly they can be very naive. the sun shines light at every other planet in our solar system, not the other way around. i think people forget that no matter how much leo seeks attention, they are also the ones giving it to others.

i know mutables are rumored to change the most, but scorpio’s ability to just… change their entire life, identity and being can make you wonder wheather you even knew the person or not. i had a scorpio sun, mercury, mars and ascendant bestie who went from being a rebellious femme fatale who wouldn’t leave the house without make up; wore heels to high school and messed with other people’s relationships for fun - to a stay at home “wifey” with no social life and a man who’s probably not even going to marry her. no one even hears from her anymore. scorpios really die and reborn a completely different person. it’s not the little changes that mutables do on a daily base or just mid conversation. it’s a whole other person.

#astrology #astro observations #astro notes #astrology observations #astrology notes #i need to meet more people bc i think i always analyze the same signs lol

1K notes · View notes

iloveyou-writers · 9 months ago

Note

Hi! I'm sorry this ended up longer than I intended to. I really needed to let it out, and I hope you can share some wisdom with me.

I am feeling hopeless about my writing today. Lately I've been fighting with thoughts about how I'm not getting better, and some jealousy completely pushed me to the edge.

For the past couple of months, I've been working on one of the biggest fanfic projects of mine. Normally I don't read on a fandom if I'm actively working for it, exactly because then I compare my writing to others', but since this is taking more time than my other stuff, I allowed myself to take a look today. I immediately found a story that I haven't seen before, and I was exited the whole time! It was great, and have me so much joy.

At first I was full of admiration towards the writer, and inspired to continue woekint on my own story. It was one of the best things I've ever read, and I immediately sat down to write a comment. Then something clicked. My story can't compare to this. The topics are so much different, but the way they write the characters, dialogues, everything, it's so much better.

I tried to tell myself I'm going to get better, but I just hate that despite having great ideas, the finished work will never live up to stories such as the one I read today. Because even though I know I've gotten better in the many years I've been writing, I never had any work I'm proud of, or one that fit the idea I started with. That what makes me feel the most hopeless.

This broke my heart, so I don't want to ignore it, even though I'm "technically" retired from tumblr.

I do want to offer my utmost respect to you for giving yourself boundaries due to knowing yourself well enough to acknowledge that you have an issue with envy.

It is so healthy that you try to work with what you know your attitude tends to be and that you set a boundary for yourself not to read fanfic while you're writing. It isn't that you're not allowed to ever read it, but while you're writing in the fandom. That's great. That's wonderful. I'm proud of you for that.

It can be really easy to fall into the hole of "I'm never going to be good enough." You read something and you can be so amazed by others. I'll bet, though, that if you wrote the exact story you just read, you would likely feel differently about it. Why? Because we artists are HARD on ourselves. It really is true when they say that artists are our own worst critics. We judge every word, every movement our characters make. Why? Because we know the story we're trying to tell. We know what we envisioned when we started typing.

To us, we're comparing our writing to what we wanted it to be.

Readers? Yeah, they can have expectations or hopes for writing, but they ultimately didn't know what we were envisioning while we wrote it. They only know what they read. So they see it with fresh eyes and they see it for what it is, not for what it was supposed to be.

So it's really easy for readers to see the amazing aspects of a writer's work when a writer might only see what they did wrong or what they had to change in order to make the story work.

It's still the same incredible piece. It's still wonderful and I'll bet you're a much better writer than you feel like you are. 💗🫂

Maybe take a step back. Maybe take a few days off, so that the feeling of being "worse" isn't so fresh. Maybe do something else or work on a totally different story. Busy your mind so it isn't focused on what you feel you're not doing right.

No one's perfect. I guarantee the writer that made the story you read is nitpicking the things they wish they didn't have to change or that they feel they could have worded better.

So cut yourself slack. Remember to love your writing, to love where you're at. Writing is a journey. It isn't about getting to the destination. It's about enjoying the ride there. :) You'll get there, just remember to appreciate your writing for what it is now. And one day, you'll be where you want to be. Just keep working at it and loving yourself and your work.

Thank you for reaching out and I really, really hope you find comfort in this response.

Happy writing, my dear nonnie. 💗 I'm wishing nothing but happiness and pride in your work.

~Hannah

#writers of tumblr #asks #advice #positivity #anonymous

53 notes · View notes

thegeminisage · 1 month ago

Text

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA ECHOES OF WISDOM FINAL VERDICT

SHORT VERSION: minor nitpicks but rad as hell

LONG VERSION:

what i loved about eow:

zelda getting her own adventure, FINALLY. it matters so much to me <3

the thinking aspect of it. i'm used to trying a puzzle a few times and then looking it up if i can't get it, but eow made me WANT to throw myself at the wall until something clicked. it made solving puzzles even more satisfying than in link games, somehow. though i had my initial concerns over not getting a "real" sword, i didn't really miss it until the final fight, and most of the time, i went out of my way to avoid using it if possible, because i wanted to be creative. in fact, even while playing, i looked forward to being able to watch other peoples playthroughs to see how they tackled certain puzzles differently from me. it's so fitting to who zelda is in the lore that it's crazy to me she wasn't een in the original concept - she just fits so PERFECTLY here, as if they'd designed it for her from the ground up.

the way link mattered in the story without stealing the stage (everywhere except the final boss, which i have mixed feelings on). i know that link's function is to act as a stand-in for us, but in this project especially, it's nice to see him get some personality - i think he's earned it!

i ALSO really loved, of course, the final dungeon and working together with link to solve puzzles. the last zelda co-op game we had was four swords where everybody had the same abilities bc they were all link, but what if we had one with link and zelda where they had different abilities? it was so exciting and rewarding to finally get to work with link after all the mystery surrounding him and the fights with his evil duplicate.

the stilled realm stuff was incredible. i had so much fun in the rifts i wish there had been more of them. picking your way around that fucked up landscape is great

being able to cheat your way around any landscape is great also. like i can get to hebra from the ground with enough platbooms, i can jump over tree barriers, etc. it made me feel like a master of the world.

i liked tri! not the most standout companion, but they were just confused enough about basic emotion and nonplussed about things in general to be funny and make me fond

in fact, most of the secondary characters were a lot of fun. i was pretty neutral on wright and lefte and the gerudo ladies, but the zora leaders, impa and lueberry, and of course, conde - they were all fantastic. zelda's dad not being shitty for once was a really nice touch, too.

loved all the callbacks to other games - the deku scrubs, the river vs sea zoras, volvagia, big blue pig ganon even though he sin't my fav

speaking of, i'm not mad about the lore either. it fits with what we know so far and it was GREAT to hear from the three goddesses again when it's been like 20-something years. i was kinda mad when they got shunted aside for hylia and i'm glad nintendo is bringing them into co-existence again

most of the time the music was just okay but when it was good it was REALLY fucking good.

overall, the story was absolutely charming, filled with mostly fun characters and environments and a creative mechanic and a world i cared about saving. none of that feeling i got from totk sometimes where i went "wait, what?" or "this is bullshit!" except maybe when the goron had to break the picture of his dead dad lol.

what i did not love about eow:

my absolute #1 main complaint is the quality of life bs. i should NOT have to go through so many dialogue boxes for a task that is repetitive. minigames that have a 20-second time limit where i spend almost as much time skipping thru the dialogue to try again? come on. smoothies? the dojo? these are things we do dozens, perhaps hundreds of times per playthrough. there is NO NEED to make it that tedious. i would have had a LOT of fun experimenting with smoothies if it hadn't been so tedious, but instead i went out of my way to avoid using them because i was dreading having to sit through the animations and dialogue boxes for more. and there's no quick retry for minigames, either. for the dojo where one misstep means you'll have to start over, all you can do is quit early and then go through the dialogue ALL. OVER. AGAIN. it is 2024!!! surely when they played the game they got annoyed by this too! what are we doing!

similarly, while i didn't hate the slidey menu as much as everyone else cuz i got pretty good at skimming it, it's still nuts to me that they couldn't come up with anything better, perhaps involving some sort of category. sometimes i want platforming echoes and sometimes i want combat ones. separate them!!

while the final boss was FANTASTIC in mood and presentation, my echoes and automatons being kind of useless + me being denied a sword made me feel like i had nothing to do but run around and dodge and watch link and my lynel fight the boss. this is a tricky one because i'm not sure what could possibly be changed to make me a more active participant and still leave link his sword (his presence elevated it so much - much like zelda's does in final fights against ganon), but it felt just an inch to the left from perfect for me

automatons in general - i was really hype for them, but most of them don't even move around on their own, and they're so slow a fast-paced combat sitch will obliterate them instantly. which would have been PERFECT for the final boss where i wanted a more direct means of attack, but they'd get toasted before i had a chance to wind them up. JUST removing the winding element would have improved these greatly without any other change at all, but it's another quality of life thing

the horse was also useless, but the horses have been useless in every game since majora's mask, and even in majora's mask it's iffy.

the world DID feel a little small sometimes, but i think that's the natural result of being able to cheat your way around it - and i wouldn't change that.

finally, the music - most of the music for the overworld sections was boring, where the dungeon music occasionally had more character. i was a little disappointed there wasn't more of the old melodies aside from little snatches of them here and there. i definitely understand composers wanting to do something new, but if their new something is this atmospheric, unhummable stuff...that just doesn't feel like a zelda score, you know? that said, again: when it was good, it was GREAT. that final boss fucking rocked.

overall this made me SOOOO ready for an oracle or minish cap remake from grezzo and absolutely RABID for zelda to have her own 3D adventure someday. they thought it wasn't possible but it ABSOLUTELY is, and the co-op sections near the end were especially wonderful and something i'd love to see in a mainline title someday. yes, this game was flawed, but it wasn't flawed the way totk was, it was overall a great joy to play and well worth both my time and money. there's very little i would change.

and, on a mushy real life note, echoes of wisdom did also help me get through the 15-day power outage after hurricane helene...i started the game just before the hurricane hit and finished it just after i got my power back, so helene kind of defined the experience of playing it for me. i'll never forget sitting in my dark bedroom with all the windows open and the generators going outside and my switch just propped up on my monitor stand, surrounded by battery packs, my only light from flashlights or candles, trying to help the time pass and enjoy the game while keeping a clooose eye on my battery life. it was one of the very, very few things i could look forward to in an uncomplicated way every day, and having something to keep me going was vital to my not just going nuts. zelda games usually seem to come out when i need them most! and i'm grateful to her too <3

#personal #loz blogging #eow lb #eow spoilers #[smash bros voice] GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 notes · View notes

soobrat · 2 months ago

Text

this isn't whining, this is an explanation and a request for information. if not, I may not be active anymore

So recently I've become a more disciplined and driven person. If you don't know, I'm in college and I have a job. I've recently realized my dream and have set aside hours of my time to dedicate to it. I've also put more time towards things like skincare and exercise and meditation etc. Why am I saying this? Because after hours of productivity, I have a gap. Free hours where I don't have anything that needs to be done. This is where I decide to write for you guys. And every time I do, I wonder if it's a good use of my time. I wonder if I should use that little time for video games instead.

You are free to ignore this, but just being transparent, that makes it more possible that I don't log in again. I used to be afraid of addressing this head on as to not offend or upset you guys, but honestly vitriol and annoyance would be better than the embarrassing silence I'm met with. This isn't coming from high levels of emotion, I'm actually very calm and kind of excited to finally get this off my chest. These are just the facts of what's going on in my brain.

If you just want to know what to do to guarantee I'll stay, scroll to the bottom of this. If you don't care that much, that's cool too.

I'm working on Mosquito part three because I realize it's been much too long since it's been updated. I'm busy, but still. And I can't even have fun with the story I admittedly really like because the entire time I'm overthinking. You see, when a story doesn't get notes, that in itself isn't the problem. The problem is what's in between the lines. Did this not get notes because people didn't like it? Does this topic bore them? Do they not like idol/celebrity aus? And while I'm writing, I can't stop nitpicking what I think is causing the eerie silence.

I used to be spoiled. Fics like loosen up, brat/slut, oblivious were very well received. I would be reblogging feedback constantly, see notes fill up my notification center, I would get the message. I did take a lengthy hiatus and stopped updating as fast, but when I finally came back, people would never guess my follower count by my engagement.

Don't be fooled though, this number has been hovering around this for possibly a year, maybe even longer. It dips and then rises by a few and then dips again. Repeat. I started to think that this just wasn't a lot of followers. In the grand scheme of things, it ain't. But then I look on my dash and see a writer thank their readers for 300 followers. I click on their page and a fic they posted yesterday have ONE HUNDRED times more notes than a fic I posted several months ago. And it's not just a fluke, most of their fics are this way. People who have been writing as long as I have and have a similar follower count (I assume) have very high note counts as well. Some of them even have spotty posting schedules and have had lengthy hiatuses.

Again, I want to stress that this isn't coming from heightened emotions or jealousy. Honestly it's mostly confusion. Wondering if I did something wrong. The closest I've gotten to getting emotional is with the embarrassment. I see other creators get flooded with asks and response to their normal posts just talking about their day. And when I do it, radio silence. Again, this sometimes happens with writers with a fraction of my follower count.

I'll make a confession. I have been sending myself anon asks. Which ones are me? That's for sherlock holmes to deduce. Why did I do it? I've already admitted it, it's embarrassment. I feel embarrassed when I post something and am met with crickets. I honestly feel pathetic.

I am diagnosed with anxiety so I'll chalk up the following to that: I have come to the conclusion that I annoy you guys. Even that I annoy other writers since I don't have many writer friends on here. It's gotten to the point where I feel like every interaction I make with anyone on this website in any way is annoying someone. When I changed my theme and no one commented on it at all, My mind automatically went to "God the theme is obnoxious and embarrassing" and I already want to change it despite all the time I put into it.

Can you see now why I dread opening up Tumblr? I dread opening up docs of my fics for this reason. Idk how to transition so I'll just pivot to my next point.

My fics have a head scratching amount of notes. This started around when I posted Industry Babies and Amusement, when I was genuinely shocked by the lack of notes. I stopped Mortal Sin out of embarrassment because I posted a part and it only had ONE note for DAYS. Let me show you the best performing recent fic:

This is Mosquito pt. 1. I'm very proud of this! It made me so eager to continue the series. In hindsight, this is still a negligible amount of notes, and a chunk of these are ICYMI reblogs from me, but I'm still happy about it. Here's part two even with a lot of ICYMI reblogs:

I'll be honest, this was a head scratcher. This has barely budged since then, too. The message I ultimately received is that people won't read if there is 0 smut. Well? That fucking sucks because this is a slow burn fic! And honestly I don't want to throw in Soobin randomly fucking random girls just so people will read.

I also recently posted the final part of FUML. Final parts always get the most notes (I always assumed people just skipped to the last part which always perplexed me) and here's how that did (with ICYMI reblogs):

This is so so good and I'm so grateful. And it got a lot of notes very fast.

Now I did two requested fics, mind you this is the amount of notes they got with NO ICYMI reblogs:

Now, I'm about to say that this is pretty damn good, because I actually think so and I'm thankful for it. But every so often I kinda sit there and think about how it feels like I'm begging for pocket change. This feels so conceited and ungrateful of me. But remember, the reason why we're even talking about this is because my time has become a lot more valuable, and to be frank, the notes are making writing fanfics seem like a bad way to spend my time.

I'll be sad to go, but after all this, you have to understand while I'm hesitant to stay. I'd have to be a narcissist to think anyone actually sat and read through all this so I'll do a little TL/DR:

The lack of engagement has changed from a little disappointing to mixed signals being sent about what you guys want (hence all the polls)

The lack of banter and casual asks or just engagement to my casual posts has made me a little embarrassed compared to writers with similar follower counts or less followers

The simple act of not liking a post affects the overall notes and can harm the chances of a fic being posted, or send a message about what you want to see

I get the unreasonable feeling I annoy you guys and other writers so frankly it makes opening tumblr or interacting with this blog in any way just. not. fun.

I forgot to add this in the doc but to be frank (again), it kind of annoys me to see a fic get little to no interaction, and then I reblog a picture of an idol and all of a sudden my followers are acting. Juuuust being honest.

As a reader who doesn't want to see you go, what can I do?

Be honest! Now, I'm not asking for lengthy dissertations on why my writing is bad. I'm not looking for writing criticism. What I am looking for is for the people who are silent readers or just straight up scroll past what I post, tell me why. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. Is it my posting schedule (or lack thereof)? Is it because you just don't feel the same as you did when you read my older stuff? Or do you just never bother with pressing the buttons? The silence is worse than whatever you have to say.

Let me know that you always press like on my fics, but are just a bit shy and don't like leaving comments or asks. This is totally fine by the way, knowing you exist is enough.

Be more active from now own, reply to posts, send asks, reblog and just keyboard smash in the replies. ANYTHING is good. Don't take this as me scolding you, just as a suggestion in case you wanted to know how to help.

I won't be sending myself anons anymore (yeah... if you missed that, scroll up the the indented section) so if you see my blog in it's natural dead state, disrupt the deadness! You'll actually make my day.

If this flops, I'll still proooobably use my main acc. But honestly I'll probably just be on my poll acc (@kpolls ) because it's actually really fun lol. See you all on the flip side!

Mal

#txt #nct #kpop #smut #stray kids #anon #kpop smut #the boyz #angst

11 notes · View notes

transmutationisms · 1 year ago

Note

if you don’t mind me asking, what were the absurd unsourced claims about covid? i realize you may not want to reply and sort of perpetuate the spread of misinformation by not just burying it but i also would like to know if i’ve ended up absorbing something untrue that was stated alongside other sourced claims

idek what particular thing annoyed me enough to post about it lol because honestly, i see this all the time. i think the overall state of 'science communication' throughout this pandemic continues to be absolutely atrocious. it is bad practice to (for example) back up a claim to scientific certainty with a link to one (1) article, double points if it's a pre-print or was done on a small sample size or had sampling issues or other methodological flaws. we are in a situtation where the epidemiological factors change fast: new variants, new shots, &c. the degree of certainty with which certain (usually social media famous) communicators will make claims about this situation belies either a fundamental misunderstanding of how long it takes to establish scientific consensus, or a cynical disregard for such considerations. all of this is before we even get into issues like rampant p-hacking and just shitty low-quality science---yes, these exist in the 'hard' sciences as well. i can't tell you how many times i click through the links on some piece of covid communication---from literally any ideological camp---and it's weak, provisional, low-quality evidence to back up massive claims. this is bad practice even when the source is someone i agree with politically!

we know covid is fucking dangerous and terrifying and that it's spreading unchecked. and we know that most governments and public health institutions at this point have abandoned the disabled and medically vulnerable. i don't think we need to just make up inflammatory twitter bullshit (eg, a few weeks back when someone started saying cdc was going to prevent americans under 65 from recieving the new boosters? which was simply not true?) to get these points across. and like i said before, i really fucking hate being in this position where it feels like the only people who do agree that this is still a serious public health issue are also prone to spreading low-quality information. i don't want to be sitting here nitpicking, like, the exact claims about autoimmunity or prevalence of long covid or whatever because covid is a terrifying disease, long covid is a terrifying disease, and we should all be protecting one another and living in a society set up to allow us to actually do that. but i do also think that the prevalence of lies and scare tactics and shitty science has contributed to the degree to which this pandemic is not being taken seriously. because if everyone is engaging in the same bad communication and low-quality scientific interpretation and inflammatory bullshit claims, then it's sort of like... well, i can understand why many people would rather not listen to the people telling them it's still a dangerous situation. like yeah, why would you not just choose the people telling you that life can go back to your pre-pandemic 'normal'?

53 notes · View notes

bluewaltz · 2 years ago

Text

🐋 — [ Tartaglia. ] 👤 — [ gender neutral reader. ] 🏷️ — [ enemies to lovers, good ending, fluff. ] 📜 — [ fic. ]

You had a mission. Kill the Eleventh Harbinger, through any means necessary.

You had heard the tales. He's a monster, a killing machine that brought with him devastation and ruin. The Vanguard of the Tsaritsa, and someone who crawled out of the Abyss.

It was insanity. Your higher ups must have known that sending one person to kill Tartaglia was a death sentence. But you would carry it out, regardless.

You didn't know what you expected, but it certainly wasn't this lanky, awkward young man, talking with the confidence of a Harbinger. Your organisation had managed to sneak you into the Fatui as a new recruit, and you had been posted to Liyue, which was apparently under his jurisdiction.

"I wish you all glory; glory to the Tsaritsa, glory to our motherland, and glory to yourselves. Dismissed. Your captains will tell you what you will be doing, and Y/N? A word, please?"

You pushed past the crowds, uncaring of how all eyes were on you. Tartaglia was waiting for you, a small smile on his lips. Again, you wondered how he could seem so young.

"You weren't listening at all, were you? Did I bore you?" Tartaglia leaned forward, his tone one of mild curiosity.

You fought the urge to reach for your weapon, instead focusing on keeping your breathing even.

"No sir. Sorry sir, it won't happen again." You replied crisply.

To your surprise, Tartaglia threw his head back and laughed like he'd heard the joke of the century.

"Sir? Why so formal, recruit? Call me Childe; everyone here calls me that." Tar- Childe said, his eyes dancing with mirth.

"Understood, Lord Childe." You said carefully, testing the word out on your tongue.

Childe clicked his tongue, looking pleased. "Okay, that's a start. I know exactly where you'll be working. Katya!"

A Fatuus hurried over, turning to Childe.

He turned to you with a conspiratorial grin and whispered loudly, "Ekaterina here takes care of the shady side of things at the bank, so I can go out and play Harbinger without the metaphorical blood on my hands."

"Need I remind you of the times you appeared in the bank with blood all over you, sir?" Ekaterina replied drily, and you noticed that she didn't seem to use that reverent tone of respect most recruits did.

"It's just blood, and it wasn't mine."

"Blood doesn't wash out of carpets easily, and you're lucky it was closing time then." She turns to you, and despite how her face was obscured by the mask, you got the feeling that she was sizing you up.

"Is this who you want, sir?"

"Give them an office at the bank, okay? I'll be going now, I just came back from Inazuma!"

The two of you watched Childe hurry away, his figure shrinking into the distance.

"Good luck."

"What?"

Ekaterina turned to you, her voice dripping with pity.

"Childe isn't an easy boss. Come with me."

Your days at the bank were long and dreary. It wasn't so bad, but there was a lot of work to be done. Mostly it was just the Qixing nitpicking some small detail or other, and your days were filled with passive aggressive letters insisting that the other party was far too kind, and that you would remember this.

All well and fine, until Childe crashed into your office like a dust devil.

"Y/N, can you fight?"

Your first thought was that the bank was under attack. Your second thought was that your cover had been blown, and your hand twitched towards the polearm that always remained just out of arm's reach.

"A little. I'm not too good at it, though." Technically not a lie, since you specialized more in subterfuge and assassination.

Childe seemed appeased by this response, gesturing for you to follow him.

He left the bank at an easy pace, exchanging greetings and words with people on the street. Vendors seemed particularly enthused to see him, and some even asked him where their "source of income was", whatever that meant.

He always replied with a sunny smile, and more than a few times you had to remind yourself that this was a bloodthirsty creature you were dealing with.

He brought you to a wide, empty field, and you suddenly remembered something.

Being the secretary of the Eleventh Harbinger, you heard things.

Things like how he would wheedle his way into spars with recruits, and he would always leave the field looking refreshed while the recruits all looked haggard.

To be picked for a spar with Childe was to have all the flaws of your technique pointed out with a smile. But it was also a good way to see how he fought.

So you let him tug you into position, and you watched as he pulled his bow into existence, seemingly giving you the first move. Not one to let go of an opportunity, you dashed forward, drawing your sword and aiming for his chest.

You longed for your polearm, but it was unwise to show your hand so early. The sword was shorter than what you were used to, but it would be fine.

Childe sidestepped, using his bow to send quick flickers of water at you, throwing you off. All the while, he was watching you intently.

You kept attacking, and he kept dodging. This frustrating game kept up until his face lit up. Then, with a casual gesture, your sword went flying out of your hands.

"You've got a strange style," Childe commented, catching your sword and inspecting it. "I think you would be more suited to a polearm, not a sword. Or, you were trained with a polearm, anyway."

"You barely fought me." You gritted out, glaring at Childe.

He shrugged and passed your sword back. "I didn't have to."

And just like that, another event was added to your repetitive routine. Paperwork, think of a way to murder Childe, and occasionally, indulge him with a spar.

When you took out your polearm and fell into a familiar stance, Childe's eyes lit up, and he actually did trade blows with you this time, though you could tell he was barely using his strength. But he disarmed you easily enough, which put an end to your plans of facing him in head on combat.

You wondered if he checked his food for poison, but then you dismissed it. Too risky, and if he didn't die, he would know who you were, and the mission would be ruined.

As you plotted in circles, you became aware of Childe's tells. How he lied, how he smiled when he never meant it. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and you wondered how anyone could fail to kill this bumbling man.

Childe's behaviour was becoming erratic and strange. Some days, he would be cheerful and bubbly, always chatting incessantly and overly generous. Those were his most common moods.

But recently, he had been moodier of late. More volatile, easier to provoke. He lost more of his spars like that, but he didn't seem to really mind. In fact, he seemed happier after those defeats, often treating you to a meal.

It happened during lunch. The two of you were at Wanmin, and Childe was regaling you with a particularly tall tale about a sea snake and a fishing rod when suddenly, his hand shot out.

Your head was snapped down, and Childe let out a hiss of pain. You scrambled out of your seat, looking down at the neat round hole burned into his arm and the smoking bullet bobbing in your soup.

Childe stood up, ignoring how his arm hung limply. His eyes were cold and dead now, scanning the rooftops and balconies.

"Lord Harbinger-"

"There." Childe hummed, and in the blink of an eye, something zipped past you. You only survived because he wasn't focused on you, but you felt the touch of electro-charged water against your cheek.

Electro? But how did he…

"Y/N, we have to go."

This was your chance. He was injured and distracted, you could easily plunge a fork or your knife into his chest and shock his heart to a standstill.

You grabbed his bleeding arm, ignoring the startled hiss. Of course he'd forgotten about the wound.

"Lord Harbinger, you're injured. Perhaps you should recuperate before tracking them down." You murmured. "People are looking."

"Fine." He snarled, summoning some Hydro to wipe up the blood and pick up the bullet.

He didn't let you touch him all throughout the walk back to the bank, and when he reached the bank, his murderous expression kept people from asking after his arm.

You retreated to your office to get a medical kit and returned to Childe surveying the bullet, turning it this way and that in its watery prison.

"Interesting build." Childe's voice was conversational, and you pulled up a chair to him and started working on the wound.

"What is, sir?"

Childe made a dismissive noise. "Just call me Childe. And I was talking about this bullet. It has been imbued with pyro energy, so touching it would burn very badly."

You tried to school your expression. That sounded like the work of your organisation. Bullets that cauterized the wound as it went, with a dense knot of pyro energy that would dissipate after a while.

But why would they steal your kill? You were promised Tartaglia. This didn't make any sense, so you just made an affirmative hum and continued to bandage his arm.

"Is that all you got?" Even pinned under your weapon, Childe still had that cocky light in his eyes, and he pressed his throat closer to the tip of your spear. A spar. that was all it was supposed to be, until he let slip that he knew your intentions and all of a sudden, it had become far more dangerous.

"Come on," he cooed. "You can kill me right here, right now. Unless you like seeing me helpless like this?"

"Shut up, Harbinger."

Childe sighed heavily, sounding very put upon. "I thought we were getting along swimmingly. What's with the sudden change in attitude?"

"Don't play dumb."

Childe snickered. "But it makes you so mad."

"You're not scared?"

"Why would I be afraid of you?" He cocked his head, sounding genuinely confused. "You were a spy sent by an organisation to do an impossible task. But you still tried anyway. Isn't that enough?"

"I-"

"There's no use arguing." Childe pushed your spear away from his throat and sat up. "I did my research; the organisation simply wanted an easy way to get rid of you."

You gritted your teeth. You had long suspected it, but hearing it laid out so simply… it stung. Discarded like an old tool in order to make way for others.

"So? Are you going to kill me now?" You asked.

Childe burst out laughing. "Ha! I'm not letting myself get used like some attack dog for an enemy organisation. My loyalty belongs to the Tsaritsa alone. Of course I'm not going to kill you."

"What?" You were baffled. Was he really going to let an enemy live like that? But Childe didn't seem to sense your disbelief, his brow scrunched in an adorable furrow.

"I don't see why I need to kill you. Ekaterina already spent so much time training you to be my secretary, and it'd be a shame to put all her hard work to waste."

"I…"

Childe grinned. "Of course, you can still try to kill me. But I will try my best to continue thwarting your efforts."

Well. Who were you to look a gift horse in the mouth?

#🖋️ — [ outgoing. ]#tartaglia #childe tartaglia ajax #childe genshin impact #tartaglia x reader #childe x reader #gender neutral reader #childe x gender neutral reader

78 notes · View notes

byuteablanc · 8 months ago

Text

One Human and a Whole Lotta Bones | Skeleharem x Gender Neutral Reader

—

Hello! These are some important things you should know before continuing!

> The reader is everything neutral, which includes race, body, as previously mentioned, gender, etc

> The underfell bros aren’t toxic

> I have used a lot of headcanons to do my own iteration of what I think of when I thought of a skeleharem. Though this is inspired by famous fics like 6S,1M and TSM, this is nothing like either of them. If you disagree with my iteration, please don’t slander me

With that, I hope you enjoy! And if you’d prefer, I have this on AO3 as well. Click this to get to the link.

—

Chapter One: Home

You pulled into the six car garage, feeling good. It was another late, difficult night. You could only be grateful to be back at the house after your very long day filled with annoying customers, and an even more annoying manager. Constant pestering and nitpicking, as if you couldn’t do your job any faster or at all. Yeah sorry you couldn’t sprint across the restaurant to deliver your customer’s drinks and food at the speed of sound. You were only human after all.

With enough self-loathing to fill the next mile and an half, you get out of your car and walk into the mud room. You take off your shoes and coat, placing them in the closet for safe keeping. But not before being blinded by a jacket coated in really shiny sequins, which combined with the light felt like a flashbang. This jacket was just added to the closet today, because you definitely would’ve noticed this menagerie when you left this morning.

The jacket was all the way covered in sequins and even on the inside as you saw after investigation. *Probably Blue trying a new, and hopefully short lived, aesthetic*, you noted.

Letting your eyes recouperate, you looked at the closet for a while and looked at the distinct coats and jackets littering the space. Each one you could tell whose it belonged to. Papyrus had a long distinct red shall that looked more like a cape or a wizard’s robe, Sans had a plain blue puffer coat but only after his brother demanded he wear something thicker than his also plain blue felt zip up hoodie. Red had a large baggy kid-going-through-their-emo-phase esque jacket with a hood that contained enough fluff to cover a large mutt. Edge had a wannabe black leather jacket with flames on the back and arms with metal spikes on the shoulders and cuffs, also kid-going-through-their-emo-phase like. Blue’s new jacket you did not want to look at again. Stretch had a nice long green coat that would reach his ankles comprised of thick fabric and buttons made of hard plastic.. which is not something you’d expect. Andddd you just remembered you were tired with a desire for food and sleep.

Walking into the house, it was still full of energy, which was weird. After all, it was late, 11:38 to be exact. Your roommates would be sleeping or at least in bed by now, especially the more responsible of the bunch. But yet here you were, you could hear voices and laughter.

You followed the sound to the source to find your skelebuddies all at the dining table. They weren’t eating though, just chatting. And they left one seat vacant, one seat for you.

Noticing you standing there in the doorway, seemingly in a trance, they call to you. “long night huh, kid?” Red remarked.

“HELLO Y/N!” Papyrus greeted, waving to you as if you weren’t a few feet away.

“You guys haven’t started yet? It’s literally after eleven.” You furrowed your brows, taking your seat.

Cinnabar frowned, “We Wanted To Wait Until You Came Home, Dear. Is That So Bad?” He asked, feigning dramatics.

“Well, no…” You paused, feeling a weird lump in your throat for some reason. “It’s just that no one’s ever done that for me before. I’m used to eating meals alone.” You shrug, not realizing the implications of what you just said. They all look just stare at you. You felt a blush rise up to your cheeks, you look away in embarrassment.

There was a silence in the room, awkward wouldn’t be the best way to describe it, a little depressing and somewhat concerned would be the proper way. “WELL, YOUR WELCOME. LET’S GET TO THE FOOD NOW! I’M HUNGRY.” Edge declared, breaking the silence.

“EDGE…” Blue face palmed.

“WHAT? WHAT DID I DO?”

“Trust me it’s fine, I agree with Edge. I’m hungry too.” You agreed, wanting to change the subject from such emotionally intimate undertones.

Papyrus jumped out of his seat. “OOOO I’LL GO GET THE FOOD FROM THE OVEN!”

‘i’ll go too’ Russ signed.

“Make that three!” You said quickly, not wanting to continue awkward conversation.

“Wait, Y/n!” Cinnabar called, and you pretended to ignore him.

Now in the kitchen, you smell something good. It makes you smile and get a little excited in anticipation. You were guessing Blue cooked today, he was making progress. Your relearning-how-to-cook lessons with him have most certainly paid off.

One of your first experiences with this merry band of bones was tacos with half salmonella ridden, have charcoal ground beef that had glitter and sugar in them. Fascinatingly enough, the sugar was added deliberately for a “ORIGINAL SWING ON THE CLASSIC TACO!” as Blue stated at the time. “Original swing” couldn’t describe what the taste was. What’s even more fascinating is that all your other roommates that enjoyed cooking were the same way! You didn’t know how they survived before you came along, you needed to get the details one day.

“What was on the menu for tonight, Russ?”

‘Premade over baked pizzas, it was a lazy sunday’ He shifted his shoulders a little, usual straight face cracking a smirk as if he was giggling. You nodded in response, opening the oven to see three piping hot pizzas. God did they smell divine.

Each of you grabbed an oven mitt and took one out, taking them back to the dining room. You quickly ran back, putting away your oven mitts. Sprinting back to the dining room to dig in, you sat back down in your seat with a carnivorous look to you. You snatched the first slice(s) and began eating, not even noticing the concerned and even disgusted looks you got from your friends.

Soon, conversation began to bubble up around the room, and now out of your food hungry stupor, you payed attention.

“I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU ALL… I HATE PEPPERONI,” Blue declared, actively taking it off from his slices.

“how can someone hate pepperoni…” Stretch looked at him with a thousand yard stare.

Sans, nodded, dousing his pizza in a mountain of ketchup. “gonna have to agree with stretch there, blue.”

“BROTHER, YOU HAVE NO GROUNDS TO TALK WITH YOUR… INTERESTING TASTES…” Papyrus judged, looking down at his plate with scrutiny.

“you haven’t even tried it bro, it helps me relish the flavor.”

Papyrus began groaning, along with Cinnabar, Blue, and Edge. While Sans himself, Stretch, Red, and Russ could only giggle. You found yourself standing in the middle when it came to puns, sometimes they were stupid, sometimes they were the funniest thing in the world. But right now, you were so tired that laughing seemed to contain too much energy that you just didn’t have.

“BEFORE HE GOES ON A PUN RUN, HOW WAS EVERYONE’S DAY?”

“Russ Said ‘did you just say pun run?’” Cinnabar recited for his brother.

“YES! NOW ANYWAYS—“

Stretch giggled. “heheh, ‘pun run’. you’re too funny, bro.”

Blue stared at him with annoyance.

“sorry” Stretch scratched the back of his vertebrae.

“my day was wonderful, thanks fer asking,” red smirked

Edge frowned, throwing his arms up. “BUT YOU JUST LAID AROUND ALL DAY AND DID NOTHING!”

Red, opens his mouth to take a bite from his now fourth slice. “exafly.” He replies, food in his mouth, earning him a few disgusted looks.

“What Did You Do Today Y/n?” Cinnabar smiled at you, looking expectant.

Awww man, you were enjoying the banter. They all turned the heads to look at you at the same time, it was kinda freaky. You could at least admire the manners. “Uhhm, not much to say honestly. Oh except my manager is like an asshole, but you guys have already—“

“NO SWEARING AT THE DINNER TABLE!” Papyrus corrected.

“oh cmon papyrus, we’re not five. i think some cuss words wouldn’t hurt.” Stretch rolled his eye lights.

“OH SHUT UP STRETCH, IT’S INDECENT AND YOU KNOW IT!” Edge pointed a phalange at him accusingly.

“it should only be indecent when used in a irresponsible way. plus, would you rather hear asshole or butthole?”

“‘the latter makes me cringe personally.’ Agreed Brother! No Offense To Your Human Body Part, Y/n.” Cinnabar reassured, making you chuckle a little bit. These guys were hilarious.

“Well, as you guys are talking about assholes—“ Papyrus groaned “—I’m going to go to sleep, it’s late and I have school tomorrow.” You remark, getting out your seat and getting your plate.

“GOOD NIGHT!” Blue exclaimed.

‘sleep well, y/n.’ Russ signed.

“yeah what they said,” Sans chuckled, everyone nodding in agreement.

With that, you walk to the kitchen, hearing conversation continue behind you as your place your plate in the sink. Placing your hands in your pocket, you traverse upstairs going past the foyer and walking upstairs. Your room is at the very end of the hallway, feeling far away now that your sleepiness and the introduction of food to your body has combined.

Reaching your room, you close the door and start changing into your sleep wear. You relished the soft feeling of the fabric on you, making you feel calm. You make sure to plug your device(s) for the night, before hitting the hay. Now climbing into bed, you lay there, closing your eyes.

In a very frustrating turn of events, your mind wont turn off and you can’t go to sleep. You feel wide awake and are just waiting for that wave of sleepiness to come back. After a few moments, you can slowly see your thoughts going slower and slower as the need for sleep slowly creeps back in. You drift into a deep sleep…

Knock Knock Knock

You groan, shifting positions in your bed to face the door. “Yes?”

You hear someone enter your room, opening your eyes you come in contact with Cinnabar. You sit up, “What’s up?”

“Oh! Sorry I Hope I Didn’t Disrupt Any Sleeping!”

“It’s fine,” you exhale, waking yourself up.

“Okay, I Just Wanted To Talk To You About That Thing You Said Earlier.” He furrows his brows in worry.

Oh jeez…

“Have You Really Never Experienced A Meal With Others Before?”

You look to the side, frowning. You hear a sigh.

“Ah Nevermind The Question, I Just Want You To Understand Something…”

You turn back to look at him expectantly, watching him walk towards you and sit beside you on your bed. “This Is Your Home Now, And When As Long As You’re With Us, Especially Me, You Will Never Be Alone. —I-I Mean Eat Alone, Yes, Eat!” He cleared his throat.

You smiled, feeling that familiar lump in your throat rise to the occasion. You lean into hug him. “Thank you, I really appreciate that,” you whisper where his ear would be.

Cinnabar, surprised at first, quickly reciprocates the hug. You could feel him being to smile as he leaned into the crook of your neck. “Anytime, Dear.”

You break the hug, Cinnabar seemed reluctant to let go but did regardless. Continuing to smile, he got up from your bed. “Good Night, Y/n.” He walked to the door, turning the doorknob and stepping out, “Dream Sweet Dreams.” He softly closed the door.

Laying back down in your bed, you couldn’t help but feel a wetness form from your eyes. Turning to look up at the ceiling, you take a deep breath.

“This is my home,” you repeat, putting a hand over your chest.

You can’t help but feel elated.

—

BEGINNING | Next Chapter

15 notes · View notes

rabbitechoes · 4 months ago

Text

feels like a bit of a less-eventful month for new releases, but i still heard a few great records!!! i've been very enamored with the new porter robinson album especially!!! it's looking like august will be a veryyyyy busy month for new releases so let's hope i don't get swamped ... to check out my thoughts on some of the songs that dropped this month click here!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

SMILE! :D - Porter Robinson

🥇 BEST ALBUM OF THE MONTH

◇ released: July 26, 2024 ◇ genres: indietronica, electropop, pop rock

Despite the drastic difference in execution, Porter Robinson’s third studio album SMILE! :D is the perfect follow-up to 2021’s Nurture. The latter acted as an exploration to appreciate the beauty of life and art, all through bright and textured production. SMILE! :D is just as existential, but this time it’s a quest for Porter to learn to love himself and find enjoyment in the music he makes. Robinson ventures into his struggles with fame, fandom, and getting lost in nostalgia over bombastic electropop production. Those going into this album with the high expectations set by Nurture will most likely be disappointed – even I, who was pretty late to the hype of that record, found myself a bit stumped by this album at first. It’s a step back and as tongue-in-cheek as it is sincere, but it all comes into focus eventually. To move forward, SMILE! :D was the album he needed to make.

There’s a sugary sweet sound to most of the record which creates this dizzying array of emotions. On my first few listens, I viewed this as one of the album’s main flaws, and while I still have some very minor nitpicks with this approach, the brilliance of this choice reveals itself. The listener has about as much of a grasp on Robinson’s emotions as he does. He’s desperately trying to get a grip and rekindle the fun of making music, all the while putting on a delusionally brave face as he reckons with all of this conflict. Many of the album’s core themes are introduced in the faux-braggadocious opener, “Knock Yourself Out XD.” Robinson wrestles with how people perceive him and his music. Fighting expectations set by both his fans and the music industry at large. He wants to make happy pop music, but he can’t – at least not for long. The end of the song has him defeatedly embracing the aesthetics of a star; face tattoos, a drink in hand, a fancy new car, but it’s all disingenuous. “Cheerleader” and “Russian Roulette” expand on these ideas. The former is a cathartic banger about the parasocial relationships some people have with their favorite artists and the latter is an emotionally dynamic exploration of how it all affects his depression – drawing to a close with the sobering repeated phrase, “I wanna live, I don’t wanna die” before getting swallowed by rave-like synths. Robinson’s analysis of this is all through the context of the internet, which I find very compelling. The perpetual unseriousness of the internet, he sings about “YouTube review, funny monkey / Takes a piss into his own mouth, crazy” a reference to Pitchfork’s notorious review of Jet’s Shine On and how “A bad guy just died / They’re making memes about it.” This behavior, of which most of us are guilty to some degree, can disincentive sincerity and throw emotion to the wind. It can also be dehumanizing to the artists, making them feel like soulless commodities for our enjoyment alone.

“Russian Roulette” and the aggressive “Perfect Pinterest Garden” mark turning points in the album’s focus, it’s from here that Robinson begins to look further inward and dissect his own behaviors. “Year of the Cup” has the same structure as those TikTok videos of people putting Midwest emo riffs instrumentation over random videos which makes for one of the shakier moments on the record, but he manages to make it work. The song is built around this combative interview Lil Wayne did with Tim Westwood in 2009 and Robinson ties it back to his struggles with alcoholism and lashing out at those close to him. The predominant theme for the rest of the album is Robinson trying to come to terms with himself while reconnecting with his audience more healthily. He reminisces on how his past self would perceive him now, vowing to “Take care of the person we’ll both be eventually” on “Easier to Love You.” He regrets the things he’s done to become what he thinks a star should be, he’s just “Trying to look good, trying not to feel bad.” It’s empty and unfulfilling, he has to reconnect with who he is to both himself and his audience – finally coming to some form of a resolution on the optimistic closer “Everything To Me.”

SMILE! :D is an unconventional love letter to Robinson’s fans. In his words, they were “the perfect muse for an entire album.” This is an excellent album, one that is both interesting and immensely enjoyable. I understand why it’s proven to be a bit polarizing, but this is one of his finest achievements yet. His talents as a producer and songwriter are on full display here – and in much different ways than the album proceeding it. I’m pretty enamored with this album.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Passage du Desir - Johnny Blue Skies / Sturgill Simpson

◇ released: July 14, 2024 ◇ genres: progressive country, country rock

Ever since 2014’s Metamodern Sounds in Country Music, Sturgill Simpson has made a name for himself as one of the most ambitious artists in country music that’s just barely outside the mainstream. Unlike a lot of other country artists who regularly see critical acclaim for simply being normal when compared to the worst the genre usually has to offer, Simpson has garnered that acclaim for making interesting music. His sound balances the rooted and the otherworldly – Passage du Desir is another great showcase of that. Working under the pseudonym Johnny Blue Skies, he crafts this almost cosmic sound. It’s like a country star beamed back down to earth, here to make country music that sounds familiar to us, but with an opulent and psychedelic twist that few artists wield as well as he does.

At each of these song’s respective cores is a damn fine country song, displaying Simpson’s clear understanding of the genre, but the arrangements are what make this album so special. This album was recorded in both Nashville and Abbey Road Studios in London and Simpson sounds in complete control here. He’s determined to take these songs to just the right heights. Like the opening accordion passage and subsequent simmering psychedelia of “Swamp of Sadness” where he sings of “Nights under the bright lights at Mignon on Beaumarchais,” hardly regular country fair – I would be amused to hear Morgan Wallen sing of nights spent in Paris. It has this alluring dreaminess to it that just swallows you, an incredible opener that shows his ambition. The centerpiece of the album is “Jupiter’s Faerie,” a cathartic lamentation of a lost friend. His vocals have this understated effect to them and the instrumentation builds around him as it eventually explodes alongside him in the chorus. The string flourishes in the chorus is exhilarating and beautiful. The near 9-minute “One For The Road” closes the album strong and another crowning achievement in Simpson’s, or Johnny Blue Skies’, career thus far. It’s a bittersweet country ballad that you can just get lost in. Ending the album with an extended instrumental section with harmonica, a soft piano, and a striking guitar solo is a bold move, but it works so well.

There are moments where things are relatively stripped-back, like the jaunty “Scooter Blues,” the delightful melancholy of “Who I Am,” and the sweetness of “Mint Tea” – rather than potentially act as roadblocks between the more expansive tracks, they’re necessary. They re-center the album’s focus, grounding it a bit so that the grander moments hit that much harder. They never veer into the generic either, they still show an artist poised to be different.

Passage du Desir is an amazing album and the start of a bold new chapter for Johnny Blue Skies. Simpson’s use of that alter-ego from here on out is a little confusing given how personal everything still feels, but as long as he’s still making great music like this who am I to complain? This isn’t hokey or gimmicky at all, it just feels like yet another one of his tactics to subvert people’s expectations. Keep it up, I say!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

魔法学校 (Mahōgakkō) - Hakushi Hasegawa

◇ released: July 24, 2024 ◇ genres: art pop, glitch pop, nu jazz, deconstructed club, folktronica

I’ve been acutely aware of Hakushi Hasegawa for a little bit now, mainly through the acclaim of their 2018 EP 草木萌動 (Sōmoku hōdō). Despite that, 魔法学校 (Mahōgakkō) was my first foray into their music. Talk about a first impression, this album is insane. Right from the start, it grabs you by the scruff of your neck and throws you on a rollercoaster of abrasive, colorful, and rhythmic instrumentation. These songs are captivating, both in how wild they tend to be and even more so in how occasionally beautiful they are. Like the disorienting sound of “行つてしまつた (Gone)” with KID FRESNO or the serene folktronica of “撤回 (Repeal).” Hasegawa has a deep understanding of the eclectic sounds they’re incorporating on this record which makes both their renditions and disorientations of them pay off in such a unique way.

Nearly every song here has some kind of unexpected twist and turn. The rare ones that don’t still add this feeling of surreality to the album. There’s such a palpable energy to the album too, it’s like electricity currents are running underneath every song on the album. It feels almost magical like you’re in some kind of distorted fantasy land where things only vaguely resemble what you’re familiar with. Hasegawa is in complete control of these eccentric sounds. This is very evident on tracks like “恐怖の星 (KYŌFUNOHOSHI)” with its distinct blend of nu jazz and glitch pop. Or the avant-garde sound collage nature of “焱ばみ (Enbami).” Nothing sounds out of their jurisdiction. They lead these songs into bold new territory and you’re just along for the experience.

魔法学校 (Mahōgakkō) is an amazing album that greatly showcases Hakushi Hasegawa’s talents. This is an album best experienced in one sitting. Let all of these sounds wash over you – or rather let them throw themselves at you. This album hardly wastes a single second, besides that 30-second interlude of an A.I. conversation, they just keep crafting wild, exciting, and sometimes gorgeous sounds that are sure to enthrall you. This is one of the best instances of maximalist music in the online age. It’s also a good motivator to finally go back through Hasegawa’s back catalog and hear what I’ve been missing.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

King of the Mischievous South Vol. 2 - Denzel Curry

◇ released: July 19, 2024 ◇ genres: southern hip hop, trap, hardcore hip hop, memphis rap

Denzel Curry has proven to be one of the most consistent rappers of the modern era and that remains true with this new record, King of the Mischievous South Vol. 2 – the sequel to one of his early mixtapes. Curry’s last album, Melt My Eyez See Your Future, was the biggest progression of his sound since TA13OO in 2018. However, instead of pushing forward, Curry decided to take a step backward and get re-acquainted with his roots. This album is just no-nonsense southern hip hop in a concise and effective package. Gone are the dense, jazz-flavored beats of his last album – in are the hard-hitting hardcore beats that cut right to the heart of the matter. Neither approach is inherently better or worse, but Curry has crafted one of the most fiery hip hop records of the year with the latter.

Curry is no stranger to scaling things back after a big project – in fact, it’s a part of his formula at this point. The ambitious TA13OO beget ZUU the following year and Melt My Eyez led into this great new record. This is a much more effective record than ZUU, it shows Curry returning to his old stomping grounds and showing that he is a force to be reckoned with. He enlists numerous fellow southern rappers to aid him, aside from a few from the East and West coasts, as well as Kingpin Skinny Pimp to host the record in its interludes. This is a very collaborative effort, but make no mistake Curry is the star. He rarely ever does things halfheartedly, but he sounds incredibly reinvigorated on this project. His bars are clever, sharp, and confident. They have this air of spontaneity to them which makes this album so infectious. The other rappers featured here, for the most part, keep that same energy. Like on “BLACK FLAG FREESTYLE” where That Mexican OT – who I had never heard of before this project, damn near steals the show. That’s another cool thing about this album, alongside some well-established names, it features a lot of lower-profile rappers like That Mexican OT, TiaCorine, Key Nyata, and Armani White who get the opportunity to shine here alongside Denzel. Everyone brings the heat and most of them make a good impression. On his quest to prove that he’s the king, Curry raises these artists up with him while also sharing the stage with legends like Juicy J and Project Pat – although Pat will show up damn near anywhere at this point.

Although some tracks don’t fully stick the landing, like “Set It” with Maxo Kream and “Hit the Floor” with Ski Mask the Slump God, there’s no shortage of bonafide heaters on this record. “HOT ONE,” the album’s lead single, is an awesome mix of trap, cloud rap, and Memphis rap. Curry boldly claims that he hasn’t changed despite leaving the South, he’s still just as driven. That drive is evident throughout the project. “G’Z UP” is a straight-up jam that doesn’t waste any time and features great guest verses from 2 Chainz and Mike Dimes. “SKED” has Curry, Kenny Mason, and Project Pat sounding fearless over a lowkey almost rage beat. Every now and then some tracks feel like they’re far too brief, but that can be sort of forgiven due to the album’s quick pacing. Dull moments are seldom found here.

King of the Mischievous South Vol. 2 feels like a quick detour for Curry before he goes back to making grander projects – this is hardly a dismissal of the project though as it’s almost endlessly enjoyable. He reconnects with his roots in a deeply satisfying way. He’s always been one of the most exciting artists in hip hop and this record provides further proof to that claim.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The War - Toy Bastard

◇ released: July 15, 2024 ◇ genres: indie rock, post-rock

Ethan Ives, best known as a multi-instrumentalist in Car Seat Headrest, has released his second album under the name Toy Bastard. The War is a damn fine post-rock record with some big indie rock choruses throughout. It doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but it’s a very great record despite that. This is a concept record about, I believe metaphorically, being at war. Ives uses wartime imagery to detail being at war with the world itself. It’s a concept that could easily be a little corny, but it works well here. This frantic and anxious atmosphere keeps you engaged, waiting to see what comes next. Made all the more enthralling because of the instrumentation – perhaps the biggest highlight of the record. Everything has a punch, nothing lays soft on the ears or floats past you. Everything from the acoustic guitar passage at the start of “The Babe in the Woodshed” to the sporadic synths on “Summer of ‘14,” it all just grabs you. Necessary for the concept to work as well as it does.

My favorite moment on the record comes with the 13-minute “VALIS,” an epic borderline prog-rock instrumental which, even without words, adds so much to the record’s concept. If you take the album at face value and believe the narrator is actually at war, it sounds like being on the battlefield. Loud guitar riffs come and go before being washed out alongside these choral arrangements – it’s unpredictable, but you’re hanging on to every shift. It’s wonderfully paced and not something I was expecting going into this record. Even on the tracks that are more of your standard indie rock, Ives brings in some cool quirks to these arrangements. It never sounds generic or tired, it sounds like he has a strong vision of what he wants this album to sound like, and for the most part, he nails it. The album ends with “Daddy Was a Starship Captain,” another “epic” track and the emotional climax of the record. It displays all of his strengths as both a songwriter and a producer, from the aquatic vocals to the killer guitar solo towards the end – everything just comes together here. Songs like this and “VALIS,” make me so excited to hear what Toy Bastard has in store for the future. The War is a great record and I feel like we’ll get even more great records from him in the future.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

My Light, My Destroyer - Cassandra Jenkins

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: singer-songwriter, sophisti-pop, indie rock

My Light, My Destroyer sounds like sifting through old photos during a transitional period of your life and letting all of the old memories wash over you like waves on the shore. One minute you’re transported back to the past, not a perfect one, but one that seems more comforting than where you are now. The next you’re reflecting on the present, the dishes are piling up and you feel alone, but there are still beautiful things in the world and you need to be reminded of that – The constellations in the sky, the colorful flowers, and the people you love. Cassandra Jenkins explores them all in her bold third studio album, the follow-up to her acclaimed previous album An Overview on Phenomenal Nature as well as her label debut on Dead Oceans.

The instrumentation is the only thing that keeps this album from reaching its full potential. Jenkins’ songwriting is the strongest it has ever been here, but some of these songs lack a distinct sound that separates her from her contemporaries. Like the soaring guitars on “Aurora, IL” which sound reminiscent of some of her new labelmates – it’s not a bad song, I just wish every track here had a striking and distinct sound that matched her songwriting. That’s certainly not to say there’s a shortage of unique arrangements here. In fact, I think this is her strongest material to date in that regard. Like the ambient art pop of “Delphinium Blue” where Jenkins’ voice sounds adrift in the ocean as the atmospheric synths and subtle percussion surround her. She’s trying to keep herself grounded as she gets lost in the delphinium flowers that remind her of someone. All of those feelings are not just conveyed lyrically, but also through the instrumentation. She shifts between that soft art pop and more rock-tinged tracks, like the steady guitars of “Petco” and the almost country flavor of “Clams Casino.” It’s a good balance. The strongest track on the album is “Tape and Tissue,” with its jazzy flavor which juxtaposes the spacey synths in such an amazing way. It’s one of the most vulnerable moments in Jenkins’ catalog thus far, a very captivating song.

This is a fascinating next step for Jenkins and I’m excited to hear where she goes from here. Her music sounds bigger and more polished, but I hope she introduces some more unique sounds in the future to make herself fully stand out. There’s a lot to love here though, I just feel like her best is still on the horizon. I can’t wait for that.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Charm - Clairo

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: soft rock, sophisti-pop

Bedroom pop icon Claire Cottrill continues to ramp up her sound on her third studio album Charm. Her last album was very folk-inspired, but instead of going further in that direction, she dives deep into this 70s soft rock sound which yields some gorgeous instrumentation while often obscuring her in the process. Clairo’s vocals have always been light no matter the words she’s singing, she’s a very cozy singer. This has worked in her favor a lot of the time, like on the mostly spare arrangements of Sling, but on Charm, she ends up getting lost in it all. Not in a “this music is free-flowing and all-encompassing” kind of way, but in a way that snuffs out some of the heart of the record. These beautiful, mostly organic arrangements yearn for a vocalist with stronger conviction. If there ever was an album for Clairo to add some new flair to her delivery it was this one.

There are some strong highlights here though, namely the opening track “Nomad” with its alluringly textured arrangement – the twinkling guitar and that weighty upright bass work so well together. It’s also one of the songs where I think she stands out as a vocalist, the way she seamlessly transitions to the higher note of the chorus is stunning. Very glad that song finally clicked with me after I heard it as a single and was left a little unimpressed. That starts the album on a very high note and it just keeps going! It’s light on the ears, most songs coming and going without grabbing you beyond a catchy chorus or maybe some cool new bits of instrumentation. Like the whirling synths on “Juna” or the clarinet on “Pier 4,” but those bright spots aren’t enough to elevate the album to a more satisfying level. Charm is a very pleasant album. It’s not bad at all, it’s just pleasant. I understand why some people love this unabashedly, I was just craving something with a bit more substance. The thing is, her lyricism isn’t unsubstantial, I just wish she delivered it in a more engaging form and not within songs that often fade into the background. I’m curious about which direction she’ll go in after Charm, I just hope it’s more interesting.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Bando Stone and the New World - Childish Gambino

◇ released: July 19, 2024 ◇ genres: experimental hip hop, art pop

Donald Glover is drawing the Childish Gambino era of his career to a close with Bando Stone and the New World – the soundtrack to his upcoming film which doesn’t have a release date yet. It’s a bold move to drop the soundtrack to a film that still has no release date, but Glover has made interesting creative decisions for years now to varying levels of success. In a way, that’s what makes this album the perfect closing chapter for Childish Gambino. It’s an ambitious, eclectic mess with high highs, low lows, and a lot of stuff that falls in between. Such is the case with most of his albums – bar Awaken, My Love which I think is a consistently great project and his best work. However, while it might be a fitting end, that doesn’t make this a great record.

Glover dabbles in a number of different sounds across this album, which is neat, but the songs themselves leave a lot to be desired. It’s cool that “Running Around” is a pop punk track, but is the song that good beyond the novel concept? Not really. The same can be said about “Happy Survival” which is a dub song. It’s cool that he goes to these places, but the execution leaves a lot to be desired. Then again, maybe the songs that didn’t click with me on this album make more sense in the context of the film. There are plenty of voice clips and narrative references I can only assume are related to the film it’s soundtracking, but they mean nothing to me in this current moment. On its own, it feels like this album is awkwardly awaiting its companion. To play on a quote from Glover’s character in Community, “I can’t wait to understand these references!”

With that being said, he manages to throw in some great songs here and there. I said in my write-up on “Lithonia” when it was first released as a single that it was “overdramatic and suffocating,” but that it could be the soundtrack to a climactic moment in both the film and the soundtrack. Well, despite it being only the second song on the album, I unabashedly love this track. The suffocating nature of the production ramps up the energy even more and Glover’s yelped vocals add to the intensity. I don’t know who Cody LeRae is, but that dude is going through some shit! He plays around with various styles of hip hop across the album to mostly good results. The peak of this is the deceptively layered production of “Yoshinoya,” which has Glover cutting out all pretense and making a straight-up banger. “No Excuses” is another massive highlight as it blends neo-soul with some subtle lounge elements and the end result is one of the prettiest songs in his catalog. The little synth riffs in the choruses are just sublime. This album is spotty overall, but it has plenty of gems.

Childish Gambino has been a constant presence in hip hop and beyond for over a decade now. Starting out as an actor making deeply corny music on Camp, to the massive Because the Internet which is considered by many to be a seminal 2010s hip hop record despite its flaws – no shame, I have nostalgia for it too – to his more experimental works in both music and TV throughout the later part of the decade, Childish Gambino’s legacy is nothing to sneeze at. Sure, it’s got an abundance of flaws, and a lot of it doesn’t hold up under intense scrutiny, but he’s nothing if not ambitious. Such is the case with Bando Stone and the New World which, in its own imperfect way, is the perfect end to the Childish Gambino story.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Y2K! - Ice Spice

◇ released: July 26, 2024 ◇ genres: new york drill, east coast hip hop

Ice Spice has become one of the most prominent figures in hip-hop, for better or for worse. She’s built an empire on hit-or-miss heaters and an abundance of bars of the fecal variety. Now, after what seems like a long wait, we have her debut album Y2K! – an album that doesn’t resemble any of the aesthetics or reference anything from Y2K culture, so that’s a bit of a head-scratcher. This is hardly a bold new statement from Ice Spice, this is just her doing her thing except a bit more tired. These songs, for the most part, leave you with nothing to say. She and producer RIOTUSA craft sleepy bangers that give Spice the stage to do her same old, same old routine. She has “ABC, 123” flows and says the most inane stuff until she spits another funny poop or fart bar that’s so weird that it makes me laugh so hard until I feel sick. There’s a three-track run where she centers all of this soiled energy, she says “I’m Miss Poopie, but I never smell” on “BB Belt,” “Think you the shit, bitch? / You not even the fart (Grrah)” on the titular “Think U The Shit (Fart),” and she rounds it all up with “I'm Miss Poopie like I need a diaper (Grrah)” on “Gimmie A Light.” Ok, Miss Poopie, what the fuck are you talking about? Are you determined to be the poop bar girl?

“Did It First” with Central Cee is the only song I think is pretty great. Somehow they just bring out the best in each other, it’s one of her best for sure. The rest of Y2K! is either just ok, bad, or exhausting, but you would be hard-pressed to find another album that has made me laugh as much as it has so I guess that has to count for something.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Guilty Pleasure - JoJo Siwa

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: electropop, dance-pop, slap house

Dance Moms and Nickelodeon alumni JoJo Siwa has been making an ass of herself over the last few months as she ushers in this new “adult” era of her career. From gaudy outfits and makeup to claiming that she wants to invent “gay pop” to downing Fireball during a live performance, she’s become a consistent scapegoat of the internet. After hearing this new EP Guilty Pleasures, I just have to ask … why did she do all that? Now, Siwa has never had a penchant for subtlety – see her car with a wrap-around decal that’s just a collage of her face as the most damning example – but this music just doesn’t call for any of that. It’s more mature in a sense, she sings about “twirlin' in a ballroom” and “twerkin' in the bedroom” in the song “Balance Baby” and the biggest hook on the album is Siwa crooning that “Karma’s a bitch!” so this wouldn’t get played on Nickelodeon that’s for sure, but it all just feels so childish. It’s almost like she’s doing an over-the-top parody of the infamous edgy phases a lot of child stars have gone through – which if that’s the case, maybe this is all genius, but I highly doubt it. Also enlisting Meghan Trainor for help on your “I’m a big kid now” EP is laughable. It’s like trying to buy punk clothes at an Old Navy.

On the whole, I guess Guilty Pleasure isn’t as big of a trainwreck musically as I thought it would be – not to say it’s good by any means though. It’s just loud, vapid, boringly competent pop songs for the most part that weren’t worth all of the antics we’ve been subject to for months. I don’t see this being the starting point for a fruitful new chapter of JoJo Siwa’s career. The music is incredibly forgettable so maybe that’s why she feels the need to make a fool of herself in public.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The Death of Slim Shady (Coup de Grâce) - Eminem

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genre: hardcore hip hop

In this messy concept album, Eminem resurrects and then kills his alter ego “Slim Shady” while also offering an introspective look at his own life. Sounds like a cool concept, in theory – no doubt, a little bit of a nostalgia ploy for the millennial crowd, but in execution, this is one of the most clumsy albums I’ve ever heard. I wasn’t expecting much at all going into The Death of Slim Shady given the state of his work over the past, give or take, 20 years, but it might be worse than I was anticipating. He fumbles over this concept of wrestling with his edgy other self for the bulk of the record, relying on tired shock humor and staccato flows that wear thin barely before the album gets going.

The shock humor in question is seemingly self-aware, but that doesn’t make it any less exhausting. Eminem and Slim Shady poke fun at several things that will get the worst people you know to cheer and applaud. Multiple jabs at Caitlyn Jenner and transgender people in general, Christopher Reeve and paraplegic people, people with dwarfism, and numerous mentions of people being “woke” and Eminem being afraid of the “politically correct police.” The desired reaction is a “WOAH, CAN HE EVEN SAY THAT?” – but my reaction was just a shrug of the shoulders and an “ok?” This concept plagues the album and he runs every joke into the ground right as it’s getting started. If I took a shot every time Caitlyn Jenner was mentioned on this album I would die of alcohol poisoning. More than the material on the album being tired, Eminem’s fanbase by and large clings to this edgy stuff. They lament the “woke mob” and “cancel culture” so they’re taking the album at face value. Likewise, Eminem’s critics take it at face value as well and pick lyrics out of context to make Eminem look like the bad guy he pokes fun at. So, this album is one both his fanbase and critics misinterpret and an incredibly rough listen even if you grasp the concept – so is there anything at all The Death of Slim Shady succeeds at? Uhhhh, some of the beats are cool I guess.

This album is just Eminem doing his thing. He’s stuck in this “lyrical spiritual miracle” style perpetually and it’s grating even if he had something of worth to say – which he doesn’t. Even the ruminations he offers on his own life, career, and family feel way too theatrical and obtuse to connect with. The album’s drastic shift at points towards the end, namely “Temporary” and the closer “Somebody Save Me,” where he makes songs directed to his family in the event of his passing just falls flat. Not helped by the fact he comes into the record with a full head of steam as he lashes out at the world in his own self-obsessed way. The rare time it sort of, emphasis on that, works is on the short opener “Renaissance” where he takes aim at modern hip hop fans. There’s no shortage of clunky bars, but “You nerdy pricks would find somethin' wrong with 36 Chambers” gave me a good laugh, ostensibly making it the highlight of the record for me.

The Death of Slim Shady is a complicated misfire being celebrated by those who don’t understand it as a win and being torn down by those who also don’t understand it as a bigoted dumpster fire. I want to make this perfectly clear, it is not the onus of the artist to spoon-feed the audience what the actual meaning of it all is, but this just seems like a total miscalculation and misunderstanding of your fanbase and the world at large. Slim Shady’s edgy antics seemed outlandish in the 2000s which is what made them kind of work, but when he goes on record venting about “woke people” and transgender people it just doesn’t ring the same in 2024. These are talking points that aren’t hard to find anymore, they’re in the mainstream. It will be celebrated by those who agree with his observations and ridiculed by those who see Marshall Mathers as another old rapper who cried “cancel culture.” It’s a lose-lose situation, not helped at all by the fact that this album simply isn’t good – I would go as far as to say it’s pretty bad.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I Love You So F***ing Much - Glass Animals

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: alt-pop, pop rock

Glass Animal’s previous effort Dreamland is one of my nightmare albums. One of the vapidest and most irritating albums I’ve ever heard – made even more unbearable by the fact their disaster song “Heat Waves” lingered on the charts for well over a year, 91 weeks to be exact. The band holds the record for the longest-charting song on the Billboard Hot 100 of all time. Everyone I’ve spoken to tells me some variation of “This band used to be good” or “They just got too commercial,” and while that may be true, they’re not worthy of much grace. My only prior exposure to the band was through “Life Itself” playing all the time on my local alternative radio station in the summer of 2016. That song isn’t perfect by any means, but listening to it after having heard Dreamland and I Love You So F***ing Much, made it feel like one of the greatest songs of all time. The band did not clean up their act on this new record here, in fact, they just dug their graves even deeper.

A lot of the same horrible qualities of their last album are present here except for that corporate summer veneer. Instead, that’s traded out for spacier sounds which don’t make the album any more palatable. There is no life here. It’s as if a group of deeply sheltered 20-somethings who had only heard sacred music their entire life stumbled upon MGMT and decided to make their version. The band is not good songwriters, perhaps their only talent is the ability to drive the most annoying choruses and melodies you have ever heard far into the ground – ironic given the interstellar aspirations they have for this album. The worst offender here is “A Tear in Space (Airlock)” with its repeating “WATAAH” hooks in the chorus. I sense a desire from the band to have another “Heat Waves,” they want to fluke their way back onto the charts with another big song with a big, obnoxious chorus, but I don’t see that happening with any track on the album. That’s the only artistic motivation I can grasp from this project, it feels desolate. It’s empty and soul-crushing, it doesn’t feel human. Made even worse by the fact that I don’t think any of the normal pop music listeners were clamoring for another song from the “Heat Waves” band – so I have to ask, why did they decide to go down this dead-end road instead of making something even a teeny tiny bit interesting? Have they simply just thrown in the towel and resigned themselves to making this kind of music for the foreseeable future? I Love You So F***ing Much is a hopeless record, a deeply miserable affair with little to no redeeming qualities. It’s the sound of a band with no convictions and no heart. The threat of A.I. and its inevitable use in music is a genuine fear, but I feel like a computer could never replicate the human element of music. I have faith that the general public will see through it as some sort of gimmick and it won’t put any musicians out of a job – well, maybe except for Glass Animals.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ thanks for reading <3

psssst. i made a discord server called COSMIACORD ... if u wanna join and have fun, talk about music, play fortnite, or whatever here's the invite :3 https://discord.gg/rsHMenTU

#month in review #music #rateyourmusic #2024 #music review #porter robinson #johnny blue skies #sturgill simpson #hakushi hasegawa #denzel curry #toy bastard #cassandra jenkins #clairo #childish gambino #ice spice #jojo siwa #eminem #glass animals

3 notes · View notes