#some of them have never even been in a scene together

[crowleysgirl56]

Ok, so I wanted to do a deeper dive into this particular passage of Good Omens:

For context, this is at the climax of the book, they’re at Tadfield airbase, the horsemen have been dispensed with, Aziraphale has his body back, and Satan is about to claw his way out of the pit.

In most of the proceeding chapters involving Crowley it talks a lot about how scared Crowley is. He is very scared of Hell.

One could perhaps say maybe he is scared of them due to The Arrangement, but that is never explicitly stated. I think it has more to do with Hell is bad, and Crowley has spent the majority of the book being yelled at by some entity through the radio or TV telling him how he’s going to be in super amounts of trouble when they get their hands on him. He is just scared of what will happen. When he comes across the book shop burning he doesn’t cry for his lost friend. He curses Aziraphale, and I think it’s because the one person who may have been able to keep him safe and protected from Hell is now gone.

So when he thinks to himself (as shown in the above screen shot) that there is now nothing left for him to lose, this is why I never thought (upon reading the book the first time that is) there were any romantic feelings between him and Aziraphale. I know that technically he had already lost Aziraphale. But by this point he was back again, and back in his body. If there truly were romantic thoughts between them surely the idea of losing him again would come up.

I have read so much fanfiction, some old, some new, and what they all have in common is the detailed inner monologue of Crowley’s turmoil over his feelings for Aziraphale and how he doesn’t feel like he can act on them. In the book we get nothing of the sort, from either character. Even when they’re separated there is hardly ever any description of them thinking of the other except occasionally to frame a short reference to something. Reading the book I never got the impression that there was anything more than two ethereal beings spending time and proximity to each other and doing work for each other for no other reason than they’re essentially a bit lazy.

I think they’re only queer coded for the fact that there’s the line about Aziraphale appearing “gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitric oxide”, and Crowley is, well, very Freddie Mercury coded. Them being seen as gay together and all the gay slurs in the awful racist scenes of Aziraphale body hopping about in culturally indigenous people after the bookshop fire has more to do with the very typical 80’s/90’s trope of “being gay = comedy gold”, than them actually being together romantically.

I think the reason why they were shipped so much after the publication however is for the same reason we ship so many male couples (or female couple) in modern media, why we’ve always shipped them: because of the complete and horrid lack there of, of proper queer representation.

If you’ve ever seen the magnificent Russel T Davies TV series It’s a Sin, there is a wonderful scene where the character Ash starts a job in a school library and the headmaster asks him to go through all the books and find any book that has queer love scenes so they can be removed. Ash then gives a most beautiful and impassioned speech (albeit it turns out the speech is just in his head) of how there is nothing. Absolutely nothing. There is nothing to the point where they are nonexistent. They are invisible. They are not seen. (Or like, something to that effect. I tell you though, it’s bloody brilliant).

So I think that’s rather the point really. You have two iconic characters, albeit supporting bit characters practically, and I think a lot of our minds automatically get drawn to wanting to put them together because of the sheer lack of queer couples. People have been doing it for years from Frodo and Sam, to Harry Potter and Draco (or Ron I guess), to Sherlock and Watson (even before the Benedict Cumberbatch show. Also as an aside let’s not get into how obsessed people got about Sherlock Holmes back in the day when those books were first published. The obsession was the reason Doyle killed the character off the in first place, then after getting letters from people telling him they were literally going to kill themselves, the reasons why he resurrected him again. Don’t tell us that modern day nerds are weird and obsessive. We’ve ALWAYS been like this).

It’s for this reason why queer representation is so god damn important. Why I still support the idea of Good Omens season 3. Because regardless of how the characters were originally intending to be represented in the book, it’s very clear now that they are so much more than “Just friends”. And we NEED that! Whether you subscribe to the idea that they will be physically intimate with each other, the fact remains is they love each other. They love each other immensely. And that comes from years of Terry Pratchett (and the other guy) accepting that canon and telling fans that it’s true. Because Michael Sheen made a choice and held a belief about how he saw his character and then David Tennant followed suit. That literally tens of thousands of fanfiction writers have decided the same.

So that’s my take. I don’t think loving each other was ever intended that way in the book, but in the last 35 years their story has morphed into the ineffable husbands that we now know.

What are your thoughts? Have I rambled on long enough to make any sense? Do you agree? Have I missed something completely obvious and gotten it all wrong? Keen to hear thoughts.

[earlycuntsets]

"DEATH COMES RIPPING" - SPOOKY ISSUE

'THE BLACK PARADE, THE TRIUMPHANT NEW ALBUM BY MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE MAY HAVE A TRAGIC STORYLINE, BUT IT'S NOTHING COMPARED WITH WHAT THE BANDMATES ENDURED TO BRING THE DISC TO LIGHT

PHOTOS BY JON WIEDERHORN PHOTOS BY JUSTIN BORUCKI

STANDING ON A BALCONY nine floors above the teeming streets of New York, Gerard Way overlooks the city in which My Chemical Romance began assembling their ambitious new album, The Black Parade. The newly peroxide- blond frontman takes a deep drag from a cigarette and exhales with a sigh. He knows he shouldn't smoke, but it's his only remaining vice.

"If I hadn't been sober, I think The Black Parade surely would have killed me," says Gerard, who climbed on the wagon in 2004. "We were going insane the whole time, and I had to cling to my sobriety to stay even a little lucid. The album became like this beast that was consuming us."

Following up a release as successful as 2004's Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, which sold 1.4 million copies in the U.S. alone, is never an easy task. And the various scares the band experienced as they worked on the new record-drummer Bob Bryar had a near-fatal staph infection, Gerard seriously injured his foot, and some restless spirits at the studio where they recorded kept them all on edge-did not help matters. And neither

did MCR's decision to make The Black Parade (Reprise) a concept disc. Together, Gerard and his bandmates-Bryar, guitarists Frank lero and Ray Toro, and bassist Mikey Way (Gerard's younger brother)-decided to craft a record about a dying young man who is visited by a cast of strange characters that help him examine his short life.

But diving into the conceptual deep end proved well worth the hassle. The Black Parade is not only MCR's most realized offering; it's also one of the most eclectic, enjoyable rock records of the year. One listen to tracks

like "House of Wolves," "The Sharpest Lives," and "Dead!" makes it clear that My Chemical Romance can still rip a good metallic punk tune. But the bandmates are now equally influenced by epic albums like Pink Floyd's The Wall, David Bowie's The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, and Queen's A Night at the Opera.

"A lot of bands from the scene we came from try to strip down their music to 'keep it real," Gerard notes. "But the real you is what you've always had inside you and what you strive to be. So when we started compiling the material we had written, we were like, You know what? This has to be a huge, theatrical record."

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE started working on ideas for The Black Parade in the back of the bus while on 2005's Warped Tour, after which they flew to New York and rented a rehearsal space for two months. And that's when things started to get weird.

"I was living in Queens, and I had to commute on the subway every day," Gerard says. "I was suddenly very scared and paranoid. I felt more like an outsider than I ever had, and I had no confidence, which is bad when you're trying to work on a record. And I had no anonymity because there were a lot of teenagers on the train." In reaction to the young fans he encountered on the underground,

Gerard wrote "Teenagers," a T. Rex-style romp with the chorus line, "Teenagers scare the living shit out of me." "The song came directly from commuting when school let out and being so terrified of them," the singer says. "I was like, Wait a minute. These are the same people that listen to our band. Why am I scared? And I realized it was because they're scared, too. Teenagers are made to feel like they can only solve their problems with violence. They lash out at each other in a really volatile way." After several months experiencing the joys of mass transit, MCR had completed only a handful of songs and felt like a change of scenery (and climate) might do them some good. "I couldn't keep working in New York," says Gerard. "We wanted isolation."

id: Gerard leads the way to what will likely be the band's second platinum record

So the group relocated to Paramour Mansion, outside of L.A. Nestled high in the hills, the deluxe estate overlooks the trendy Silver Lake area and boasts spacious rooms, a gorgeous pool, lush gardens, a state-of-the-art recording facility-and a few special guests.

"The place is definitely haunted," Gerard says. "Doors would slam, and the faucets would turn on. You'd get a bath drawn for you of freezing-cold water in your room, and you wouldn't know why." As unnerving as its mischievous spirits could be, the Paramour was also inspiring, and contributed to the haunting vibe of songs like "The End" and "This Is How I Disappear." More important, it led Gerard to come up with the bleak, surreal concept for the record. "I would have these night terrors, where it would feel like someone was choking me, and my heart would stop and I would stop breathing," he says. "I would wake up in the middle of the night and write these notes to myself, and one of them read, 'We are all just a black parade.' So I started thinking about how this band is kind of a black parade, like a funeral-procession rock thing. And I used that idea to piece together this story about the idea that when you die, death comes for you however you want." Gerard molded his concept into a narrative about a character he dubbed the Patient, whose strongest memory from childhood is of his father taking him to the city to see a parade. Two songs into the album, he dies, and the black parade comes for him.

"During the rest of the story, he meets this entity of death and all these characters, like Mama, who represents anyone who's ever lost their son in a war," Gerard explains. "It's almost like these Canterbury Tales, where he goes along on this journey, and at the end he decides whether he wants to live or die." With the concept in place, My Chem made the songs as sweeping and theatrical as Gerard's lyrics. They accomplished this, in part, by combing through their own eclectic record collections and pulling choice elements that would set them even further apart from other melodic punk bands.

The first two minutes of "Welcome to the Black Parade" stemmed from Gerard's love for Broadway musicals, the horns in "Dead!" came from Mikey's interest in Blur and Britpop, and the jaunty feel of "Mama" was informed by Tom Waits and Nick Cave. But the most poignant moment on the record, "Cancer," was (unlike its morbid moniker) something of a pleasant surprise. "I was very upset about something in my personal life, and that's when that song came out," Gerard says. "It was really spontaneous, and it was recorded pretty much live with Rob [Cavallo, the record's producer] on the piano and me in the vocal booth. Then we added layers of drums, which gave it a certain urgency. It's the song I'm most proud of because it was the most pure emotion we've ever captured, and it gets such an immediate response. You can't shake what the song is about."

As the CD approached completion, some members of the band began to show signs of nervous exhaustion. The group was scheduled to fly to England to play the Reading Festival, and as the date grew near, Toro, who has a fear of flying, got noticeably agitated. Then, after the band tracked "Welcome to the Black Parade," which was originally called "The Five of Us Are Dying," the guitarist lost it.

"I thought I had this premonition," Toro explains. "I was flipping through the TV channels, and on the news. there would be something about a plane crash, and every time I woke up in the morning, the clock would say 9:11. I was playing Tomb Raider the night before the flight, and on the level I ended up at, there was this whole flashback to a plane crash. So right before the flight I was like, 'That's it. I'm not flying."

Despite his misgivings, Toro boarded the plane, and when My Chemical Romance returned to L.A. (all of them still very much alive, thank you very much), The Black Parade was completed without further incident. Listening back to the record, the band members were in awe of what they had achieved and eager to share it with their fans. "There was a real confidence that came to us," Gerard explains. "Having survived it, we felt like we were changed forever. I feel different as a performer now, and I think we really finally discovered who we were as a band." But just because MCR were done with the record didn't mean that it was done with them. About a month later, the band was shooting a video for "Famous Last Words" with director Samuel Bayer (Garbage, Smashing Pumpkins) on a set featuring walls of flame, when-seized by the moment-lero grabbed Gerard's throat from behind and wrestled him to the ground. The singer rolled one way; his foot went the other. "It bent completely backwards, and I heard a crack and felt this agonizing pain," Gerard recalls. "I tore all the ligaments in my foot, but I got up and continued to perform." "I didn't know what I was doing," says lero, shaking his head. "I wasn't trying to hurt him. I felt awful. I still do." Gerard's injury was serious, and he still walks with a cane, but it paled in comparison to what happened to Bryar. At the end of the shoot, the pyro was so intense, the drummer could feel his leg burning, but he stuck it out for the rest of the song. By then, he had a nasty third-degree burn. And the misfortune didn't stop there. Bryar didn't take his antibiotics regularly, and he failed to keep the wound clean. By the time the band got back from a brief tour of Japan, the burn was severely infected. Then Bryar's face swelled up and, after doing the MTV Video Music Awards preshow telecast and a special club show, stumbled into a hospital emergency room in intense pain. "I thought I'd be there for 10 minutes, but as soon as they saw me, they got all serious and gave me an IV and said they had to do a CAT scan," recalls Bryar."They did all these blood tests and kept me there for 14 hours." Doctors discovered that Bryar's leg infection had spread to his blood and caused an abscess in his face that was creeping dangerously close to his brain. If it had been left untreated for another two days, he could have died. "The whole thing was such a nightmare," Bryar says. "This doctor stuck my cheek with a needle about six inches long and the width of an IV tube. Then he went in and out of the inside of my mouth with the needle about 10 times. Fortunately, the treatment worked, and Bryar left the hospital three days later. With tragedy averted, My Chem are now focusing on touring for The Black Parade. They'll be in Europe for most of November, and when they get back at the end of year, they'll start rehearsing for a U.S. arena tour that starts in February. "We want to put on a full show with props and staging like The Wall," Gerard says. And MCR plan to keep the Patient alive long after they're done touring for the CD. "I would love to see the story turned into a play or a musical, and it could easily be a movie," enthuses Gerard. "Making this record, we cut ourselves open every day, pulled out every organ, and lay them on a table so it would be something we're completely happy with. We want The Black Parade to exist for a long time." "The whole hole thing nightmare. This doctor stuck my cheek with a needle about six inches long and the width of an IV tube." -BOB BRYAR

"I felt more like an outsider than I ever had, and I had no confidence, which is bad when you're trying work on a record."

-GERARD WAY

12/2006 revolver - mcrhollywood on flickr

[propertyofwhitney67]

Ok, we need more angst!!! :D

What about when PC goes missing a for days and their dead body was found by the Li :P

You're making me think of my Dark Whitney series where he leaves for college and can't find you when you come back. He eventually finds you dead in the moor.

Whitney: see series

Kylar knew something was wrong from the get go. He's delusional and refuses to think you're dead when he finally finds you, you just can't be. He had a whole life planned out for the two of you. He destroys everything in sight and probably kills himself.

Robin hadn't seen you in a few days and he was worried, so worried he wasn't paying attention and tripped over something on his way to school. It's your body, face down in a ditch on the side of the road. He must have wandered off the sidewalk at some point. He drops to his knees and rolls you over, hoping that you're just passed out but you're not breathing and your body is cold. He's sobbing as he carries you to the hospital, hoping they can somehow help you but in the back of his mind he knows it's useless. He's never the same after you die, one day he took doesn't come home. The town took him just like it took you.

P!Sydney is helping out in the garden behind the church when he finds you just beyond the tree line. He screams, alerting everyone that something is wrong. He tries to start CPR, remembering what his dad taught him. He doesn't stop till the ambulance comes and he has to be pulled away by Jordan so the EMTs can do their job. It's not till you're taken away in the ambulance does he realize he's shaking and crying. He prays with Jordan till he hears the news that you were pronounced dead, after that he breaks. He ends up in the asylum again but this time he doesn't get out.

C!Sydney is the same except he doesn't pray, he runs to the hospital to meet you since the EMTs won't let him ride along. He paces the waiting area, just hoping by the grace of god you're actually alive. That they somehow revived you and you're just in the ICU. They won't tell him the news, saying he's not family. When he does eventually find out he too ends up in the asylum. He becomes a more sadistic and violent person there, he's never let out.

Alex finds you one morning at the edge of the fence, someone must have dropped you off late last night or early this morning since he didn't see you yesterday. He panics, rushing inside to call EMS then back outside to you. He tries CPR but he knows it's useless, you've clearly been dead a while. He's crying and holding you to his chest when the EMS finally arrive. He's never the same after, he drinks himself to death in the end.

Avery is beyond surprised to find you in the alley after a card game, you were supposed to go with him but you never showed up. As he gets closer he realizes you’re not breathing. He takes a few steps back and calls the police and ems. He didn’t know what to do after that. He’s shaking and standing over your body when the others exit from the card game, he doesn't even notice them till Bailey grabs his shoulder. You're declared dead on the scene. He's affected for a while but does move on.

Eden was tracking a deer when he finds you near the lake, he knows immediately that you're dead. Despite that he scoops you up and runs into town and to the hospital. No one wants to upset the forest man with a shotgun slug over his shoulder so they take you in immediately. He knows they can't do anything but he didn't know what to do. He holds it together till they tell him the news that they couldn't do anything. He steps outside and breaks down in the alley. He slides down against the wall and begins to sob. Bailey finds him when he was called to identify your body, he hasn't seen his friend like this in a long time. He sits there with him for a while before Eden eventually leaves. He goes deeper into the woods and is never the same.

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

Your writing is very pretty and I’m amazed at all your stories! This one is a mixed bag of sad feelings, and hopeful wishes ahah but -

What if Donna and female reader have been in a relationship for some time now and are very comfortable together. But lately Donna has been putting in less effort in the relationship. Reader spoils Donna, does most of the cooking, makes time for Donna, tries to do all of the things Donna likes and whenever Donna wants something or feels Reader could do better Reader tries to be better because she loves Donna. This used to be an effort they were both doing, but lately it feels like Donna is withdrawn and isolating from Reader and barely even speaks to her no matter what Reader tries to do. They don’t even make love anymore or cuddle. Eventually Reader begins to get a bit used to this and a bit sad and withdrawn from feeling like she is the one maintaining their relationship. After an encounter with Alcina, in which something happens that shows Donna that Reader is desirable to other people, and someone else is willing to put in the effort to make Reader happy, Donna FINALLY sees what this isolating behavior has been doing to them and makes a tremendous effort to show Reader she cares. All of the romantic gestures (flowers, spoiling Reader, writing her love letters, all sorts of romantic things), and a tremendous effort to seduce Reader and make her swoon in Donna’s arms while Donna makes sure that Reader knows she is loved and belongs only with Donna.

Ending in a romantic, and smutty scene possibly with a G!P Donna if you’re comfortable with that.

Again, your writing is tremendous and I’m excited to read every new one you make!

- A very tired Reader

Yesssss!!!!! Thank you for your kind words, and for your request!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))))))

A bucket of flowers

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: G!P Donna, a bit of smut, Minors DNI, angst, fluff, Donna being Donna

Word count: 8,747

Summary: Who is sending you those beautiful flowers?

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!!I love you all!!!

It might seem like it was a night like any other and it certainly was, but for you no day was the same as the previous one, they were all different, endless opportunities and occasions to show her the love you felt.

“Oh, the fool made a cake, congratulations,” the Angie doll mocked, keeping you company in your long cooking sessions.

“It's not a cake, my friend, it's the cake, do you understand?” you asked with a smile and a raised eyebrow, decorating that culinary masterpiece.

“Oh… The cake…” the puppet murmured, staring at you while you checked that everything was perfect. “It doesn't seem special to me.”

“Well… You should know that it's Donna's favorite cake,” you said with a smile, taking off your apron, ready to enjoy what you always saw as a romantic dinner, a special occasion for the two of you.

“Ugh, there you go with your cheesy stuff again…” the doll protested, moving away from the cake, with a softer tone.

“I like to spoil Donna, is there a problem?” you asked amused, taking the cake and walking out of the kitchen, with the doll following you closely.

“I guess there isn’t,” Angie said, shrugging and comically moving ahead of you, almost making you trip.

Humming happily you went up the elevator, where the lady was waiting for you sitting at the table with that same serious expression, one that you had been struggling to change for a long time.

“Why did you take so long?” Donna asked as you approached slowly.

Normally those words didn't have that hoarse, listless tone, that horrible tone you hated and thought you would never hear again.

“I'm sorry, honey, I was just making this,” you said, ignoring her impatience and showing the cake to the woman in black, who glanced at it as you set it down on the table. “Do you like it?”

“Mm,” she murmured, nodding listlessly and starting to eat without waiting for you.

At first it was hard for you to get used to Donna's lack of manners, her apparent lack of interest in everything you did but... Little by little, you understood that it was your new routine.

“I followed your advice and I was very careful with the sugar,” you commented, sitting in front of her, who didn't even make an effort to look you in the eyes.

“Sure,” Donna murmured, serving you a glass of wine with a tired sigh.

“Yes... Uh... I hope, I hope you like the soup,” you said with a shy smile, seeing how she seemed to ignore every phrase you said, without stopping eating.

Her face sketched a brief smile, but long enough for your spirit to calm down and you began to eat too, observing every gesture the brunette made.

Dinner passed in silence, exchanging glances from time to time. They were indecipherable, confused and flat glances. Her bright eye said nothing, yours were always happy to coincide with it.

Your smile was indelible. It didn't matter the silence that for you became more and more uncomfortable. You knew that in front of you was the woman of your life.

“How did you spend your day? You haven't left the workshop today,” you commented distractedly, attracting Donna's attention.

“I had a lot of work,” she said in a whispery voice, barely paying attention to you.

“Oh, of course,” you said amused, playing with the spoon. “I'm not surprised,”

“Mm,” the lady murmured again, taking a sip of wine, making that she didn't feel like talking clear to you, something that was becoming more and more frequent.

“Yes, um...” you said confused, unable to get one of those eternal conversations, a smile that lasted longer, something from Donna that wasn't a tired sigh. “Do you have more orders than usual?”

“No,” she replied curtly, leaving the glass on the table and finishing her soup.

You smiled fakely nodding, feeling frustrated by these incipient slights.

“Oh, um, okay…” you sighed, deciding that maybe it would be better to remain silent.

“I've been very late, (Y/N), and it may have something to do with your insistence of wanting to go for a walk,” she said, with a soft but internally hard tone.

“Don't you like walking with me? The walk last week seemed very romantic to me,” you said, biting your lip and reaching out to take her hand, caressing it gently.

Luckily, that time she didn't push it away, in fact, reluctantly, she briefly returned your caress. Her face, once again, showed a tired smile.

“I like walking with you, but I'm neglecting my work,” Donna said, taking her hand away and sighing before getting up from the table. “I'm really tired today, (Y/N), I'm going to bed.”

“Wait, Donna,” you interrupted, getting up too and grabbing her wrist, turning the lady slowly. “The, the cake, aren't you going to try it?”

“Ugh,” she protested, frowning and rolling her eye. “Maybe tomorrow, put it in the fridge.”

“But Donna…” you said with sad eyes, comically pulling her hand. “I've spent three hours in the kitchen, I made it just for you…”

“I didn't ask you, (Y/N),” she said, shaking her head, looking at you in annoyance and taking her hand away from yours. “That you've spent three hours cooking it's not my problem.”

“Donna…” you sighed again, with an even sadder look. “But, but it's your favorite… I…” you stammered on the verge of sobbing, your eyes slowly filling with tears. “Donna…”

The lady in black sighed, gently caressing your face with a more relaxed expression, lifting your chin.

“Va bene, tesoro…” she finally said, approaching your lips and kissing them coldly, sitting back down. “Serve me a piece, but a small one.”

You smiled happily, jumping for joy and kissing her again repeatedly until her hands stopped you.

“Lasciami, lasciami, per favore,” the lady protested, waving her hands effusively while you walked away with shy giggles.

“A small piece…” you murmured as you cut the cake, serving her the exact amount she wanted and which she accepted with a tired look. “Come on, try it,” you said insistently, serving yourself another piece.

The lady tasted it reluctantly, savoring it and nodding slowly.

“How is it? Say something,” you said enthusiastically, checking for yourself that you had done a good job, significantly better than other times.

“It's very good, (Y/N),” Lady Beneviento commented, quickly devouring her piece and standing up again. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome…” you sighed with a loving smile. “But, but, is it sugary enough?”

“I said it's good,” Donna interrupted with a stern voice. “Why don't you pick this up?”

“But, I… Well, okay, okay,” you said, your smile fading little by little, your heart slightly hurt but at the same time resilient. “Then we could watch a movie and…”

“How many times do you want me to tell you? I'm very tired, I'm going to bed, you can do whatever you want,” Donna said, turning on her heels and leaving you alone and open-mouthed.

No matter how harsh her words were, you accepted them with a half- smile. Sighing, you began to clear the table and, unwillingly, you thought about what your life was like just a few months ago, how different it was.

Meeting Donna Beneviento was a coincidence, one of those coincidences that mark the path of your life. The youngest of the four Lords was also the most mysterious, the most dangerous.

You never cared about danger, or risks. You were a young girl, kind-hearted, what harm could do to talk to that woman in black, to help her when her doll got stuck in some bushes?

If you do good things, good things will happen to you, or so your family said. They weren't wrong at all. The best thing that ever happened to you in life was meeting her, learning to see the light in the darkness of her presence.

The whole village feared her, considered her a terrible and cruel monster. But none of that appeared in your feelings as you got a little closer, as you got to know her a little better.

Lady Beneviento was a sick woman, self-conscious about the deformity of her face, about what the gift of the Black Gods caused in her body. She kept herself isolated, completely alone. A hermit, a ghost, someone no one wanted to get close to.

But you appeared in her life, you smiled at her, you saw her kind side, her words of affection, her shy laugh… None of those were characteristics of a monster, and her appearance, of course, was not one either.

Donna was a beautiful woman, no scar, no change could make you think otherwise. Without expecting it, but at the same time wishing for it, love arose between you.

It was a sudden, romantic, wild love… It could even seem that the romance novels you read so much had come to life in your own reality. Love, caresses, whispers, passion, hugs… Everything formed your relationship, a comfortable one, one that you finally felt good about, one that you didn’t want to disappear.

Lady Beneviento loved you, she adored you, even those overly strong feelings made her behave in a slightly possessive way. You never gave it importance, you knew you didn't have to, you had already decided.

You had decided what smile you wanted to accompany you every morning, what warm body you wanted to melt with every night, what perfume you had chosen to cloud your senses.

Love continued and your relationship was stable. It had been more than a year since you decided to take that important step, stop visiting her and stay with her forever. Everything was perfect, idyllic, at least until a couple of months ago.

The love, those smiles, those caresses, the hugs, the passion… Everything was fading away little by little. Donna was the same and at the same time she was becoming someone different. It was increasingly difficult to get a smile out of her, to get her to return the hundreds of kisses you gave. You didn't want to think like that but… It seemed like you were bothering her, that she had gotten tired of you.

But that wasn't possible, she still told you that she loved you, that she liked you being by her side. It wasn't laziness, it was something else… It was as if the dark part of her mind had taken control, as if she saw you as a nuisance, a distraction that kept her from her old way of being.

There were no more kisses, no more caresses, no more hugs, only smiles, very brief kisses, sighs of weariness and cold words. You, of course, couldn't be the one to blame. From the first moment you didn't do anything that didn't make her happy.

You cooked her favorite dishes, you learned recipes that she told you about, you cleaned the house, you kept everything perfect for her, so a ‘thank you’ would come out of her lips, so those kisses would return.

None of that happened. Donna seemed to have abandoned you, even when she was by your side. It was increasingly difficult for her to talk to you. It was almost as if you didn't exist. But you never questioned it, you simply got used to that new behavior.

You couldn't think that Donna didn't love y. You knew that wasn't the case. Spoiling her, showering her with compliments, with romantic gestures, was your way of desperately clinging to a jaded love that you had already grown accustomed to, until little by little, sadness began to haunt you in your increasingly frequent moments alone.

You would do anything for her, always, but you began to wonder if she would do the same for you.

You picked up the plates, put away that delicious cake and got ready to get into bed next to her. You didn't expect her to greet you with a smile, not even with that mischievous look she had always looked at you with at bedtime. No, she had already fallen asleep.

“Donna, my love,” you said softly, getting into bed next to her, kissing her cheek.

The lady in black, as usual, growled annoyed, turning her back to you.

“Weren't you watching a movie?” she asked with a tired voice, comically covering herself with the sheets.

You smiled and shook your head, moving closer to her ear.

“It's not fun without you,” you said, biting her earlobe and laughing amused. “Hey, Donna, I feel like making love…” you whispered, lowering your hands and pulling her waist.

The doll maker moved her body to make you move away. You, already knowing that impatient gesture, did it.

“Not today,” she said, turning her head away from your rain of kisses. “Another day, (Y/N)”

“Okay…” you sighed sadly, leaning on the pillow with another controlled sob.

Donna, who was always terribly passionate, fierce in love, in possessing you in a carnal way whenever possible, now didn’t want to do it, she just made stupid excuses.

It wasn’t the most important thing for you, but you knew how much she enjoyed taking you.

You did everything you could to keep the passion alive, to hold on to that relationship, but you felt that the weight on your shoulders was too intense, that there was no one on the other side to help you handle that burden.

It was the effort to not extinguish love, an effort that only you made and that would soon make you sink into a depression you could already feel calling you from the depths of your soul.

You tried to forget those moments, to cuddle up next to her as you did every night. Not even that seemed to be acceptable to the brunette, who growled again, removing your hands from her body.

“Leave me alone,” she whispered furiously.

“I'm sorry,” you said, with a voice eaten away by the tears that were beginning to fall down your cheeks. “I'm sorry if I bothered you.”

Donna sighed after a moment of silence, sitting up and touching your shoulder.

“Come here,” she whispered, turning around and grabbing your waist gently, as if she wanted not to be that cruel, as if deep down, she was also noticing your incipient sadness.

“Thank you…” you sighed with a sincere smile, approaching her body, letting her surround you with her warmth.

The slights hardly mattered to you. Donna always did something that told your heart not to stop beating, that you could continue to be terribly in love with the lady in black. The question was simple: How long could you stay that way?

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Donna said with a different voice, pressing you against her body. You glanced at her out of the corner of your eye, enjoying her warmth. “Tomorrow Alcina will come to have lunch.”

“Tomorrow? But Donna… Tomorrow is the day of our meal on the river,” you protested, playing erratically with her fingers that were clinging to your waist.

“Mm…” she sighed in a way that indicated she was rolling her eye. “Leave it for another day, will you? I don't like her coming either but I'm afraid I have no other choice. She often invites us to her castle.”

“Yeah, well, you never want to go anyway,” you sighed, with an anger that was beginning to be noticeable in your voice. Donna, as always, didn't give it any importance.

“I'd rather be here, with you,” the lady said in an apparently romantic way.

“You're not with me, you spend the day with your dolls, you even…” you said furiously, turning around and crossing your arms.

“I'm with you all day long.”

“Okay, whatever you say, Donna,” you said, turning around again, removing her warm hands from your body. “Good night.”

“Buonanotte…” the lady whispered, kissing you quickly on the cheek and turning around as well.

If you were told a few months ago that your bodies no longer intertwined at bedtime… You would probably think it was a dirty lie.

The next day started like any other. You devoted all your energy to preparing a perfect breakfast that Donna no longer appreciated. The kisses under the shower were no longer intense, they were brief, half-hearted.

Maybe it was your imagination, or maybe not.

While you were cooking a delicious menu for your unexpected guest, you asked yourself that question, one that you avoided asking yourself and that you could no longer contain: did Donna really love you?

“Is all for me, dear?” Lady Dimitrescu asked, surprised by each of the details that you meticulously prepared.

You, pleased by her words, smiled sincerely. It had really been a long time since you heard Donna say something like that.

“Everything looks great, little bird,” Alcina murmured, while you sat next to Donna, who was covered with her black veil, as always when there was someone other than you.

“Thank you, my lady,” you said smiling, pouring yourself a glass of wine.

“My lady… Little girl… We are almost family…” the lady in white sighed, stabbing a piece of meat with her fork. “Call me Alcina.”

“Alcina, yes, of course,” you said kindly.

The three of you began to eat in silence until a satisfying grunt bounced off the old walls of the mansion.

“Oh, dear… It's spectacular,” the vampire said, pointing at you with her fork. “Mashed potatoes with gravy?”

“Yes, well, it's a recipe I used to make,” you commented, destroying the silence that usually accompanied you. “Donna likes it…”

“I see,” Alcina said, nodding with a seductive look. “Donna, you are very lucky.”

“Mm,” the veiled lady murmured, eating in silence, looking at you briefly through her black cloth.

“Mm?” her sister mocked. “Please, not in a million years would I be able to get one of my maids to cook like this.”

“Oh,” you said, laughing amused and blushing at that appreciation. “I love cooking, besides, Donna has taught me a lot of delicious recipes from her country.”

“I can't compete against that, huh?” the tall lady joked, arching her eyebrows. “Um, I see the house is a bit… different,” she commented, observing the cracked walls. “Oh, Donna, don’t tell me you’ve finally lost that absurd allergy to cleaning.”

“No, (Y/N) takes care of the house,” the woman in black said, with a rough and disinterested voice.

“Does she?” Alcina asked, narrowing her eyes and looking at you with a wicked smile. “Do you have a sister?”

“I’m afraid I haven’t, Alcina,” you said kindly, serving the lady another glass of wine. “I like to clean. I love seeing your sister happy.”

“Wow… You are lucky,” Dimitrescu murmured, now looking at her taciturn sister.

“I guess so,” Donna whispered, taking the bottle of wine from you in an unpleasant manner and leaving it on the table.

“Mm, I see…” Dimitrescu murmured again, rolling her eyes. “(Y/N), would you be interested in working at the castle?”

“No, she’s not interested,” Donna said, angrily hitting the table with her fists, scaring you a bit. “(Y/N), dessert.”

The expression of the lady in white cooled and she frowned, watching you as, in an almost perfect way, you slid the knife through the cake you made the day before, the one Donna failed to appreciate.

“Cheesecake with raspberry jam,” the tall woman commented, studying the shape of that culinary delight.

“The jam is homemade,” you explained, serving another piece to Donna, who looked at you through her veil, you didn't know how. “Do you want this one or do you want a slightly bigger one, my love?”

“This one,” she said curtly, taking the plate from your hands roughly. “Em, grazie.”

“You're welcome, darling,” you said in a tender voice, embarrassing your girlfriend with a few sudden kisses on the cheek she pushed away with a brusque growl.

“Lasciami estare, cazzo,” the lady in black hissed, pushing you unpleasantly, under the watchful gaze of her older sister.

“I'm sorry,” you said with a tender smile. “Maybe you'd like a coffee, you want it with milk and no sugar, right, darling?”

“Yes, yes, go, let me breathe,” the lady in black said, moving her hands in an unpleasant way.

You sighed but nodded, looking at the lady in white.

“How…?”

“Black, dear, with two sugar cubes,” Alcina interrupted, with a knowing smile, winking at you.

“Great, I'll bring it right away,” you said helpfully, picking up the plates and going down to the kitchen.

“I want coffee too!” Angie shrieked, tugging at your dress.

“You can't have coffee, you can't have anything, in fact,” you said amused, stroking the doll's head, who laughed amusedly.

None of Donna's actions seemed strange to you. You were already used to it and... Unfortunately, you stopped giving it the importance it deserved.

In an elegant way you put the three cups on a tray, going back up to the dining room. When you heard a sharp voice, you stopped dead, still unseen.

“You're stupid, Donna, stupid,” Lady Dimitrescu snapped in a stern, dark voice. “Keep behaving like that and you will suffer the consequences.”

“It's none of your business, Alcina,” you heard Donna hiss, her voice seemingly upset.

“Mm, maybe, but I'll tell you one thing, dear… If you don't take care of that beautiful garden… well, let's just say that I'd really like to do it,” the eldest Lord said, earning an angry growl from your girlfriend, who stood up from her chair.

“What are you implying? Porca puttana! Get out of my house!” Donna shrieked, pointing to the door.

“Don't yell, little sister… Instead of getting mad, take my advice… Otherwise, I'll be the one to take care of that flower as it deserves. And I think that seeing your attitude, it won't be too hard for me.”

“Fuori!” Donna shouted again.

She seemed very furious, out of her mind. It was time to approach her.

“Sorry, I…” you said timidly, lowering your head and entering the room, earning a seductive look from the lady in white.

“That coffee smells delicious, dear…” she murmured, picking up her ridiculously small cup. “A perfect coffee next to a perfect young lady…”

“Tha, thank you Alcina,” you said with blushing cheeks, approaching the brunette. “Donna, honey, are you okay? Are you having a crisis?”

“No,” she answered, grumbling and letting herself fall into the chair.

“I thought you were arguing,” you murmured, caressing Donna's cheek through her veil, noticing how the rage burned on her skin. “Should I get your medicine, honey?”

“No,” Donna repeated, making you look at her listlessly and then at Alcina, to whom you bowed apologetically.

“Forgive her, sometimes… It happens to her,” you said, apologizing for your girlfriend's attitude, one that was sometimes unpredictable.

Getting furious for talking about a garden… It was very typical of Donna, of course.

“Mm… I know, don't worry, I forgive her,” Alcina said with an implicitly mocking tone. “The question is… Will she forgive me?”

“Stupida…” Donna growled, mysteriously approaching you, taking your hand and kissing the back of it through the black fabric, a gesture that surprised you. “The coffee is delicious, (Y/N).”

“Thank you, darling… Are you calmer?” you said smiling at the compliment, one that you missed terribly. The lady nodded without letting your hand go.

When Lady Dimitrescu left and Donna got rid of her veil, you could see her frown, a strange expression for which you had no explanation.

“Well… It seems that everything went well,” you said sighing, finishing clearing the table and smiling at the brunette, who had her gaze on the floor while playing with her veil.

“(Y/N),” she said with a hoarse voice, approaching you and putting a hand on your shoulder. “I would like to tell you something.”

“Of course,” you said smiling, stacking the plates and cups.

“I love you, you know that, right?” the lady said with a different tone, sad, which made you turn around slowly, grabbing her hand and looking at her with concern.

“Me too, Donna, of course I know… Come on, don't be mad. Alcina just messed with your garden,” you said absentmindedly, looking out the window. “Hey, maybe when it's less cold we could fix it.”

“Fix it?” she asked, frowning in confusion. “The garden?”

“Yes, well… Okay, it's impossible to compete with the castle but I'm sure you and I can make it something similar,” you said with that same passive tone, without thinking clearly, without giving importance to that absurd discussion.

“Do you like the castle?” the lady asked suddenly. “Do you like it more than this house?”

“Oh, no, not at all,” you said, picking up a stack of plates. “Alcina can say whatever she wants, but… I love this house, and the garden, I wouldn't change it for anything.”

“Really? Are you serious?” she asked again, holding your hands very tightly, as if she was scared of something.

“Um, Donna, are you sure you're okay?” you asked worriedly, passing a hand over her sweaty forehead. “Oh, my love… You're sweating, let me finish picking this up and I'll prepare a hot bath for you.”

“No, no… Let me, let me pick it up and… And I'll prepare a bath for you… With… With those bath salts that you like,” Donna said, taking the plates from your hand abruptly, with a trembling voice.

You opened your eyes, surprised by that suddenly different attitude. You felt confused, disoriented. There was no doubt that the strange conversation with Alcina had something to do with it but… You didn't know in what way.

“Mm, I think it's a great idea but…” you said with shining eyes, blinking in a petulant and even seductive way.

“But,” the lady said, looking at you with a strange coldness, darkening her eye.

“Only if you come with me…”

That hot, romantic bath started a confusing phase of your relationship. You couldn't explain why, the reasons that led Donna to change her attitude towards you, but you weren't going to complain either.

Yes, she was still the same grumpy one as always, the one who was overwhelmed by your excessive affection and caresses, but she faced it in a different way, as if she were fighting with herself, fighting to change.

Even so, that wasn't enough for your demons to stop harassing you, for the doubts you had about the feelings of the lady in black to disappear.

Yes, you were happier to be able to talk to her again, to receive many more smiles, for her to accept your kisses but... But you didn't feel that it was enough, you felt it forced, as if someone was guiding the brunette to behave that way.

What you really didn't expect was what happened one cold morning, one in which you didn't read romance books anymore. No matter how hard Donna tried. Your relationship was still far from resembling those love novels.

“The door, there's a knock on the door!” Angie interrupted your ramblings, shouting in a shrill voice and waving her arms to get your attention. “Hey, silly!”

“Ugh, I'm coming,” you said, getting up from the couch lazily. As expected, there was no sign of Donna. That hadn't changed. Her dolls were still her absolute priority.

You opened the door to find something unexpected, a villager holding what looked like a bouquet of beautiful flowers, your favorites, in fact.

“Um... What do you want?” you asked, surprised by the presence of that stranger at your door.  That a random villager had been able to cross Donna's territory was something that wasn’t frequent.

“Miss (Y/N)?” the man asked, handing you that bouquet of roses. “This is for you.”

You took it with a frown, bringing the flowers to your nose, slowly inhaling their scent.

“For me? From whom?” you asked, smiling at the beauty of those carefully placed flowers. There didn't seem to be any card, nothing to tell you where they came from.

“I don't know,” the man said, shrugging and turning around. “I'm sorry, but I wouldn't like to stay here for long…”

Before you could ask another question, the man disappeared, walking quickly down the path, surely scared to know where he was.

You stood rooted to the spot, staring intently at the bouquet of flowers, looking for a possible culprit for that romantic act.

Of course, Donna seemed the main suspect but… Something told you that you were wrong. She was a romantic woman, or at least she was for a while, but she never gave you flowers, she never went that far, she never had a similar detail.

No, they couldn't be from Donna. You were quite clear about that.

“Who was it, tesoro?” the lady asked when you entered the house again, startling you. You weren't expecting her presence.

“Oh, um... Well...” you said nervously, showing her the flowers.

“Wow... They're beautiful,” she said with a smile, running her fingers over the petals, looking at you out of the corner of her eye. “Don't you think?”

If you had any doubts about the origin of those flowers, you had just cleared them up. They weren't from Donna.

“I wonder who it could have been…” you murmured thoughtfully, smelling the flowers again “Mm, they smell really nice…”

“Um, yes, I…” Donna said stuttering, looking at you confused.

“Can you imagine that I have a secret admirer?” you asked amused, finding the idea more and more exciting in your head. After all, no one had ever sent you flowers, no one. “How exciting, isn't it?”

The most sincere smile you had ever put on lit up your face as you played with those beautiful flowers, finding a privileged place for them in the mansion. Donna followed you nervously, looking over your shoulder as you put them away in an empty vase, laughing amused and excited by that gift.

“Wow, I really didn't expect that,” you sighed, shaking your head. “It's strange that they didn't leave a note, isn't it? I'd really like to know who it was...” you said in a sweet voice, your heart beating fast from the excitement of receiving that anonymous gift, of feeling that there was someone out there who appreciated you.

“W-would you like to know?” Donna asked, with a broken voice, putting a hand on your shoulders.

You rolled your eyes, sensing a sudden attack of jealousy and took her hand, kissing the back of it briefly.

“Not again, Donna,” you whispered tired of her jealousy, of her possessiveness. “I don't know who it was and if I knew I wouldn't tell you either.”

“But, but, (Y/N)...” she murmured, shaking her head, struggling with her words to say something. “It's just that I...”

“What's the problem with people sending me flowers?” you asked with your hands on your hips, with the prejudice that the lady had gotten angry and was thinking about how to get revenge on that stranger.

You weren't being unreasonable. It wasn't the first time Lady Beneviento got mad.

“T-Tesoro...” she stammered, taking your hand.

You could only think about that attitude, about her lack of attention, you couldn't even think about what she was going to say to you.

“Shh, quiet, Donna,” you said seriously but mockingly, putting a finger on her lips to stop her complaining. “Don't get jealous, okay? They can send me all the flowers they want, it doesn't mean anything.”

“Oh, um, okay...” she finally said, with a tired sigh, looking at you out of the corner of her eye. She seemed really worried.

“I'm going to make you something delicious to eat,” you said with euphoric joy, kissing her quickly and walking happily towards the elevator.

 She didn't kiss you back. She just stared at that vase of flowers, shaking her head.

“Silly Donna…” Angie hissed, tugging at her dress. “What's wrong with you?”

“Nothing, Angie, it's better this way.”

You were too excited to pay attention to that conversation between Donna and Angie, and continued on your way quietly.

Those flowers… Yes, it had been a good way to start the day, no matter who it was, but at the same time, you couldn't stop thinking about it.

A lot of faces came to your mind and you dismissed each one of them. It couldn't be Donna. She had gotten very nervous, probably wondering what stupid vermin dared to seduce what was hers. No, it couldn't have been her. Then…

A name popped into your head, one you could sense, that had everything it took to become the main suspect. Alcina Dimitrescu.

It was pretty obvious that the lady in white had some sort of fixation on you, and even more so after that awkward lunch. Obviously, you weren't going to say anything to Donna, that would make her even angrier, and it was better that way.

“It's delicious, amore mio,”the lady in black commented when it was finally time to eat, with a radiant smile, one that reminded you of those first months. It was a shame that your mind was so focused on that flower thing that you didn't even notice.

“Oh, thank you, Donna,” you said with a sigh, with a smile that didn't belong to the kind words of the lady in black, but to that mysterious person who showered you with flowers.

“You put pepper on it, like I suggested,” she commented again, with a tender smile that you did see, which you returned without thinking as you nodded.

“I like to pay attention to the things you tell me, darling,” you said, downplaying it.

The lady in black smiled again, glancing at the vase.

“Wait, you're not being nice because that whole flower thing, are you?” you said with a more serious tone, crossing your arms.

“What? No, no, I just…” she said with a sincere look, shaking her head. “I, I like to tell you nice things….”

“Well, I like you doing it,” you said with a haughty tone, knowing for sure that this slightly more exaggerated attitude was the consequence of the appearance of a new player on the board, of a competitor who seemed to want to claim your love.

Donna continued to change little by little, seeking your warm body at night, whispering in your ear, kissing you relentlessly…

You could consider it a tremendous improvement, a wish that you had been asking for a long time ago fulfilled but unfortunately, you didn't see it that way.

The flowers could have been an isolated incident, an exception in your boring life, but it wasn't. Every day, every morning more flowers arrived at your door, beautiful bouquets that occasionally began to be accompanied by a note, a love note.

Your chest beat with excitement with each new bouquet, with each surprise from that secret admirer. You were excited, intrigued to feel that you provoked so many sensations in someone.

Each bouquet was accompanied by a good deed from Donna. A romantic dinner, walks in the woods... Everything coincided dangerously. That made you think that you weren’t wrong, that her jealousy was forcing the lady in black to become a prodigious lover.

There shouldn't be any problem, it was what you were looking for, to return to the romantic and affectionate beginnings of your relationship, but you knew that Donna would never change simply because she had realized she had neglected you, no, so many months of contempt couldn’t change overnight. That tender and romantic attitude had an explanation: jealousy.

Yes, that was the reason, jealousy. The appearance of that mysterious lover must have forced the brunette to love you, to pay attention to you, to distract your constant thoughts and take them away from that person of the flowers.

On the other hand, you were still in love with Donna, hopelessly in love. Receiving displays of affection from an unknown person was encouraging but you would never change your feelings.

But that she wasn’t able to love you as you wanted, by her own will and not for a mere territorial and primary issue simply frustrated you.

“Let's see, let's see...” you said excitedly picking up your daily bouquet.

On that occasion, it came with a small note, which you opened when you confirmed that there was no one around you.

Dear (Y/N)

I hope these flowers help you understand how crazy I am about you. You are the most beautiful girl in the world. You are the only one who would overshadow the beauty of these flowers. No flower could compare to the light of your gaze, their smell cannot compare to the perfume of your skin.

You are my most beautiful flower.

“Aww,” you murmured, biting your lip, reading that elegant calligraphy over and over again.

Of course, your secret admirer was quite the poet. That person always managed to make you blush.

Luckily, the heels of the lady in black alerted you, giving you time to put the note away and pretend to place the flowers in another vase next to the others.

“Ciao, tesoro…” Donna whispered, hugging you around the waist and planting a soft kiss on your cheek. “More flowers?”

“Looks like it,” you said amused, grabbing the hands that held your body, letting yourself be carried by Donna's gentle swaying. “Isn't it early for you to come up from the workshop?”

“Mm, yes,” she said, kissing your cheek and resting her head on your shoulder. “I was looking forward to be with you…”

“Oh, well, that's… Great,” you sighed, your voice taken over by the words in the note and not by the love the lady was showing you. “What did you have in mind, darling?”

“I thought I could make you some food, you know, some of your favorite dishes,” she commented, dancing with your body, turning you around with an elegant twist of her hand. “Do you fancy it?”

“Your cooking? I always do,” you said, laughing amused by the tickling her lips did on your neck. “Donna…”

“Then we could, I don't know, go for a romantic walk… You and I… The sunset…” Donna whispered in your ear, causing you to blush even more.

“You and I? Without Angie?” you asked suspiciously, frowning.

The lady nodded, stealing a quick kiss on your lips, caressing your cheek and looking at you intensely, as if she was looking for something, something you didn't know.

“You and I, amore mio…” the lady sighed, running her thumb over your lips and making you purr seductively. “After that we could watch a movie, whichever you want…”

“It's a perfect plan, Donna, I'd love to,” you said with a tender voice, letting yourself be completely seduced by her gaze, kissing her slowly.

“Well, well… I have to finish a doll but… After that I'll be all yours,” Donna said, pinching your cheek and pulling away slowly. “Leave those stupid flowers and change your clothes, I want you to be beautiful.”

“Um, okay,” you said blushing, moving your ankle in a childish way while she looked at you with a tender smile before disappearing from your sight.

You sighed with nostalgia, thinking about that new and desired attitude, looking at the flowers. Of course, whoever it was also had feelings for you but you, after a few terrible moments of doubt, cleared your heart or rather, you let it clear itself.

You loved Donna. You loved her with all your soul. Not even all the flowers, all the notes in the world would change that, ever.

Yes, it could be that the lady in black had returned to her loving and kind self because of the danger of someone taking her treasure but... That ferocity only demonstrated one thing: a pure, intense love, one that would be capable of bringing down the moon for you if you asked.

Compared to her smile, her kisses, her words in Italian, the flowers were nothing but weeds and those words were nothing but ink on paper.

In your head, the name Alcina Dimitrescu danced incessantly. Without a doubt, she was the one who admired you, you were not involved with anyone else, it had to be her. You couldn’t betray Donna, you would never do it.

 She could never win your love, never.

That statement sailed confidently through your mind, causing you to make a radical decision.

No, you didn’t want more flowers, you didn’t want more love letters, you only wanted Donna, no one else.

Searching through the old address book next to the phone, you found the castle's number, dialing it decisively. Yes, you loved Donna, only Donna. It took a lot of flowers for you to realize it.

“Dimitrescu Castle…” Alcina's tired, velvety voice answered on the other end of the phone.

“Alcina? I'm, I'm (Y/N),” you said nervously. After all, she was also dangerous.

“Oh, (Y/N), it's nice to hear your voice,” she answered with a sinister laugh. “What's wrong, dear? Don't tell me that Donna has done something bad to you.”

“What? No, it's not that, it's…” you said nervously, annoyed by that horrible accusation. “I have, I have to talk to you.”

“Mm, talk, little bird…” Alcina murmured, with a strange sigh.

“Okay, um, I don't really know how to tell you but…” you started, looking around, trying to make sure there were no unwanted listeners.

“You're pregnant… Oh, Donna, you damn irresponsible brat, I knew that…” Alcina said, interrupting and making you growl more and more nervous.

“No, no,” you insisted, losing your patience. “Okay, I think I'll get to the point…”

“Yes, dear, that's how I like it”

“Look, I don't have feelings for you… No, I'm not interested in you, I mean… I like your company but, nothing, nothing else… I love Donna, I love her with all my soul and… No matter how many flowers you send me, my heart isn't going to change, so…”

“Excuse me? What are you talking about, little bird? Flowers?” Alcina asked, laughing in surprise, something that confused you.

“Y-Yes, the, the flowers you send me at home… You know…” you said, stumbling over your words, with your heart in your throat.

“Dear, I have no idea what you're talking about…” Alcina murmured. “I'd love to send you flowers but I'm afraid I have nothing to do with that.”

“No? But, but…” you stammered, terribly confused. “It wasn't you?”

“Mm no,” she said laughing. “Flowers? Please, I'm not that cheesy,” the lady in white mocked.

“Shit…” you whispered covering the microphone, dying of embarrassment. “So who… Who did it?”

“I'm afraid I don't know, dear… Who do you think it did?” she asked laughing, as if you were joking.

You shook your head, your whole body shaking.

“I don't know…” you murmured, scratching the back of your neck. “Sorry, sorry for bothering you… Bye,” you said hanging up the phone, burying your face in your hands. “Oh… But who?”

Your head was confused, blocked, you weren’t able to know who this secret admirer was, there was no one who could be involved in this matter, you only related to Donna and she simply couldn’t be.

Tired and nervous, you let yourself fall on the sofa. If the flowers were not from Alcina they lost all that romanticism. That there was a stranger who wanted to flirt with you was something that you began to see as disturbing.

Looking everywhere, your eyes were fixed on one of the shelves, where a book seemed to stand out. You had a terrible obsession with order and you got up to put it away, realizing that there was a paper sticking out of it.

“Mm?” you murmured curiously, opening the book, a book written in Italian, a paper written in the same language, full of crossed out words, of short sentences that you began to observe.

That handwriting seemed familiar to you but, after trying to read those sentences, those paragraphs, a light lit up in your head. Slowly, you searched in your pocket for that letter, that love note that came with the flowers.

There was no doubt; the letters, the shape of that calligraphy matched completely, as did the last thing written on the paper, the same love letter in another language.

“Gods... Donna...” you said, covering your mouth with your hand, with the unexpected revelation that somehow, you already knew.

Donna sent you the flowers, she was always behind those words of love, it was her all the time and she never told you. A romantic gesture that you didn't expect from her was the perfect excuse for Donna to continue with her game.

Why had she denied her involvement in something so beautiful? You would have to ask her.

With shaky legs, you went down to the doll workshop, crumpling the paper in your hand, with a unique smile, with your heart beating faster than ever. Love was in your veins, in your body, in your face, the love for that lonely lady who sent you flowers even though she already had you, even though you didn't even know she was doing it.

“Donna, darling,” you said in a sweet voice, interrupting the lady's sewing, who gestured for you to come closer.

“I'll be done soon, tesoro…” she whispered, not looking at you, focused on that small garment.

You closed your eyes, approaching slowly and taking a breath.

“You are the most beautiful flower,” you whispered in her ear, leaning towards her and savoring each of the words.

Donna didn't look at you, but stopped sewing, sighing deeply.

“It's been you all along, hasn't it?” you asked in a soft voice, guiding her head to look at you.

Her cheeks were flushed, her chest moving quickly. There was no doubt.

“(Y/N),” she said dryly, not daring to look at your face.

“You sent me the flowers… It was you, my love…” you repeated, cupping her face in your hands. Her eye looked sad, and with an effort, the lady in black nodded slowly. “Donna, darling… Why…? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Io…” she murmured, avoiding the brightness of your eyes, leaving the sewing to grab your wrists, which were still clinging to her face. “I tried but… You didn’t listen to me. You thought I was jealous and… I, I didn’t…”

You silenced her stammer with a passionate kiss, with the moisture of your lips impregnating hers, loving, caressing her mouth with yours with passion, with pure love.

“Donna, my love… My Donna…” you whispered, running a hand through her black hair while she looked at you between sadness and shame. “I thought you didn’t…”

“I know,” she interrupted. “I know you didn’t think it was me.”

“No, I…”

“(Y/N), I beg for your forgiveness,” Donna said, holding your hands, standing up, looking at you now, straight on. “I was stupid… I, I treated you terribly… I neglected you.”

“Donna, well, that's true but…” you said, thinking about those horrible months.

“I don't want to lose you. To lose you would kill me, (Y/N)…” she sighed, caressing your cheek. “Y-You're right, I was, I was jealous… When I saw that Alcina was interested in you I understood that… That I could lose you….”

You nodded softly for her to continue.

“I've never known what love is, what it means to love a person and… I, I thought you could… I don't know, (Y/N), I was sure that you wouldn't abandon me and… I was selfish, I thought I had you and…”

“Shh, it doesn't matter,” you whispered, placing your hands on her waist.

“Yes it does, you give everything for me and I... I have despised you,” she said, embarrassed by her behavior. “I beg you to forgive me, please... I don't know... I don't know how to love, I... I saw you so happy when you received the flowers that I continued, I continued with the lie just to see your smile...”

You silenced the lady again with a kiss on her lips, seeing in her eye the apology, the regret, the love.

“Mm, well, it seems to me that the fact you let me think that someone is sending me flowers just to see me happy is very romantic, Donna...”

“I can't promise you that I can change, I'm not right and... I... I only know that I plan to love you every day and that you are... You are the only thing that gives me the strength to continue,” she said whispering, kissing you slowly.

“Do me a favor, will you?” you asked in a seductive tone, making a smile form on her lips. “Keep sending me flowers…”

After that penetrating whisper, the kisses returned, more and more passionate, wilder.

“No flower could ever say how much I love you, amore mio…” Donna whispered, running her hands over your body, appreciating it, exploring it, memorizing it with her fingers, as if she were afraid of forgetting it.

“Then show it to me, right here, right now…” you whispered again, walking backwards until your back hit the work table, dragging the brunette's body with you, inevitably drawing it into your kisses.

“Yes…”she said, admiring you with her loving gaze, with the caresses of her hands on your body, on your chest, fighting against the rush of your kisses, which began to fill her skin with love.

Little by little the words were nothing but incomprehensible babbling in a tangle of panting, of passion, of bites and hot, wet, anxious kisses.

Your bodies danced to the same beat, to the same rhythm, rubbing against each other, letting the friction return, that contact both of you craved to warm your passion.

The panting slowly mutated, turning into moans when her firm hands lifted your body, raising it onto the table, making those pieces of porcelain that you considered enemies, tremble.

It was like a mockery, those moans were a reminder of superiority towards the dolls, an act of lust in a sacred place for Donna, which would soon cease to be so.

You closed your eyes, pleased by the touch of her erection between your legs, by the excitement of those forbidden, wild, messy kisses. You didn't want to stop or think, you just wanted Donna, you wanted an animal love, a physical and obscene declaration of the love she felt for you. That was better than a hundred flowers.

“(Y/N)… Ti amo…” the lady whispered, looking into your eyes, seeking approval for her hands to pull down your underwear. “I want to make love to you…”

“I want you to,” you whispered, panting with her kisses, hot from her soft touch, from her increasingly furious caresses, from her nails scratching the bare skin of your legs.

She nodded, releasing her shaft after letting the clothes disappear from between your legs, entering you hastily, but accompanied by soft whispers, words of love that you had only heard in your fantasies for a long time, that you only read in your books.

“Donna…” you moaned as you noticed your walls blessed with her erection, the moisture that bathed her body while yours embraced her tirelessly, preventing her from daring to abandon you again.

The silence was no longer awkward, but a grateful companion to your loving glances, to an intense eye contact while the brunette thrust into you in a soft, intense but at the same time romantic way, enjoying the soft and slow contact.

Your body contracted, stretched, tensed. In your head you saw all those notes of love. You felt those words, those movements as a complete declaration, as an apology for her unfair behavior.

“My love…” you moaned, without blinking, letting passion tense your body before a quick orgasm deformed your walls, without her losing her romantic gaze, her movements, her soft caresses. “Oh, Donna!” you screamed when those involuntary movements became unbearable, forcing you to throw yourself into her kisses, to hang on her body while she held you without abandoning you.

Donna didn't say anything, she just moaned and sighed, looking and holding you with her nails digging into your skin when, with a sharp moan, she released herself inside you, completing that apology, that act of reconciliation, of true love...

“Honey...” you sighed as you felt her wet heat fill you, as you felt her seed claiming you as she hugged you, as she caught her breath without stopping caressing you.

“I will never neglect you again, I promise, my flower...”

[pastlivesandpurplepuppets]

Actor Matthew Settle, having personally auditioned with Tom Hanks for a number of leading roles, won the part by delivering steely performances of key scenes. During the casting process, Hanks branded Speirs “a dark character.” Settle unequivocally embraced this categorization as filming commenced in England.

[...]Ron conveyed to Dick. “This TV business is all smoke and mirrors anyway. They can put my nametag on some guy and pretend it is Sparky. They are faking the combat scenes with a stand-in playing Sparky, so why not finish it up that way? I am just not up to the hassle and pressure of an interview. This is not what you want to hear, but I want to be candid about my situation.” Few were more disappointed in Speirs’s decision than Matthew Settle. Many of his fellow actors forged enriching relationships with the veterans they portrayed. Settle was denied this luxury. “It seemed as though he wanted to shy away from the whole process of Band of Brothers,” Settle later noted of Speirs. “He wasn’t quite sure in what light it would leave him.” Because filmmakers lacked Speirs’s direct input regarding his more controversial traits, they “presented the idea to the audience and let them decide whether or not he had killed prisoners and perhaps his own men,” said Settle. “I think that was tastefully done. But perhaps that was why he wasn’t open to being spoken to.”

The absence of Settle’s mysterious character in episode one of Band of Brothers permitted the actor to discover his character in other ways. While the rest of the cast shot the series introduction in England, Settle retraced Speirs’s steps across Europe on an odyssey of his own. He visited France, toured museums, and sought out sites where Speirs had fought. Settle ventured into the Bois Jacques, discovered Easy Company’s foxholes, and was warned to watch out for live ordnance as he did so. At Foy—where Speirs embarked on his iconic run—the actor traversed the wide field and was amazed to see dwellings in town that still bore scars of battle. He ventured all the way to the Eagle’s Nest in Germany. “It made it really come to life for me,” Settle said of the journey. “I’m very happy that I was able to do that.”

Deprived of the ability to converse with Speirs, Settle searched for perspectives on leadership in battle. In addition to reading several Ambrose books, he leaned on Captain Dale Dye—the film’s technical advisor who himself was a decorated combat veteran. “You gotta help me find this guy,” Settle implored to Dye. “Who is he? What’s his tone?” The subsequent coaching greatly benefited his performance: “I had a natural finality that served his character well.” On film, Speirs was stern, direct, and honest. Settle relished interpreting the Speirs mystique—a colorful balance of bravery and secrets. He naturally considers the Speirs scene at Foy his favorite of the miniseries.

[...]A 1,000-person tent was erected on site for a gala and the screening of a ninety-minute compilation of Band of Brothers scenes. Amid all the activities, Matthew Settle finally conversed with his character in the flesh. “When I actually met Speirs, he seemed like he was stoic and quiet and passive,” Settle recalled. “He definitely seemed like a person that may have been hurt once or twice in his life.” The actor’s observations of Speirs during the debut itself were even more affecting. “I sat next to him and Winters as they watched the invasion on screen together,” said Settle. “I honestly just watched the two of them. I couldn’t help myself…. It was powerful. They were reliving it.”

Settle regretted that his interactions with Ron were so fleeting. “I never really got into any deep conversations because Speirs was always very hesitant to talk about anything deeper than just the weather. A lot of the vets would approach him and he would say, ‘Which war?’ I don’t know if he was pretending not to remember them or what.” Speirs’s question was likely an earnest effort to distinguish those who served under him at different stages of his career. Self-consciousness of his hearing loss further precluded him from active conversation.

~ Jared Frederick & Erik Dorr

[whateverisbeautiful]

How do you think Rick would react to another man being interested in Michonne when they first arrived to Alexandria back in season 6 ? How would you think he react now ?

Oh thanks for asking! I’ve rolled different scenarios around in my head over the years regarding this and wrote out my thoughts here. 😊⬇️

I always felt like even a scene or two (not a whole storyline) of a man showing clear romantic interest in Michonne pre-canon would have been interesting and realistic since Michonne is such an undeniable catch inside and out. In my mind, the main reason it didn’t happen is because Rick and Michonne were already operating so much like a couple in ASZ. That likely kept men from feeling they could pursue Michonne since she was clearly the most important woman in Rick’s life and already seemed practically married with kids to most people on the outside looking in.

I think if a man showed interest in Michonne when they got to ASZ in season 5, it probably would have subconsciously amplified Rick’s crash out during that ASZ arc. 😬 Like after already spiraling mentally & being in love with his son’s best friend and not knowing what to do, I think seeing another man try to swoop in on Michonne, would have had Rick on edge and acting up even more than he already was in Alexandria.

Rick already was feeling super protective of team family and I think he’d draw an even bigger line between TF and the Alexandrians. He’d think the divide he was making is just because he wants his people safe, but it would also be because he doesn’t want this new guy around Michonne like that. And I just know, even despite Michonne not falling for this new guy, Rick would still be finding it hard to focus whenever he saw Michonne around him, like…

I think even in the pre-canon days there was a part of Rick that was afraid of losing Michonne. And having a new guy pursuing Michonne would likely exacerbate that fear. That’s part of why Richonne’s s5 finale convo is such an important moment because Rick gets to hear Michonne confirm that he doesn’t have to fear losing her anymore because she’s with him no matter what.

If a man started pursuing Michonne in 6A, I think it would have accelerated Rick finally finding his moment to make his feelings known to her. Not in a rushed way or a way motivated just by jealousy, I just think seeing Michonne around this new guy would be Rick’s wake up call that life is way too short to not go after the woman he knows he’s in love with.

And the way Rick and Michonne always paired up for tasks, I think Rick would be making sure this new guy was never paired with them lol. And then once he had more power in ASZ, I feel like Rick would be recommending/assigning the new guy to go on those weeks long runs like the one Tara and Heath went on. 🤭 If he ever discussed the guy with Michonne, I think Rick would try to be “subtle” and take the angle of we don’t know these people and have to be careful. And if Michonne gave him the “we’re in here together” talk still, I could almost see Rick professing his feelings for her right then and there.

I also think by this point even Carl would be giving Rick unspoken looks like ‘alright dad, make your move because we can’t have this new guy coming along and interfering with our family.’ Daryl probably would also have a few more of those stomach-pat moments with Rick because Slick Rick would be wearing all his emotions on his face if he felt like he was going to lose his chance with Michonne.

Rick ultimately would want for Michonne to be happy and for him to be the man making her happy. So I think he’d make his feelings known quicker and he’d snap out of that Jessie mess quicker because it would be harder to distract himself with that situation when Michonne has some other guy pursuing her.

With TOWL, I have a short scene I envision in episode 3 about how Rick would react to seeing someone in the CRM flirt with “Dana.” It would never be a matter of Rick worrying about Michonne’s response to a guy flirting with her, but imo he definitely would be stepping in with that Sergeant Major energy to let the interested guy know he has somewhere else to be and it’s not around this new pretty consignee lol.

As to how Rick would react to someone showing interest in Michonne now, I think @nobleriver already put in great words the thoughts surrounding Rick and jealousy, which I agree with. I don’t think Rick and Michonne get jealous because they know what they have between each other is unbreakable.

No matter who showed interest (and I'm sure many would want to for both of them), Rick and Michonne would feel secure knowing no one can ever come between them. Although I can see Rick and Michonne still having some ‘step back’ energy with whoever was trying to flirtatiosuly approach one of them.

Like Rick would not hesitate to put someone in their place if they think they can shoot their shot with Michonne. But overall, when Richonne both said ‘I’m yours’ in that proprosal they meant that and they know and trust that the other meant it too.

So I think Rick and Michonne's reactions to others showing interest now would never be rooted in worry that someone is going to pull them away from each other. They know they’re forever loyal to each other. They’d just make sure the message was clear to outsiders that they are married and any attempts at breaking that will always be futile. 👌🏽

[tavolgisvist]

Allen Klein is a businessman. He has had dealings with a guy called Tony Calder who worked as a partner for Andrew Oldham. The three of them managed the affairs of the Rolling Stones. Oldham & Calder left the Stones scene, but Klein stayed. … Tony has something on his mind that is why he is taking me to work in his Morgan. He says: ‘Allen Klein says you are in his way. Allen says you are blocking him from meeting the Beatles and doing business with them.’ I am amazed. I say, ‘I never give Allen Klein a thought from one year to the next. What is the guy talking about, me being in his way?’ … So I tell Tony if Klein thinks I am in his way, and as I’m not in his way, I’d better show the guy I’m not, by moving out of the way anyone else who might be in his way. I tell Tony to tell Klein I am (a) not in his way, and (b) if anyon I tell Tony to tell Klein to call. I go into work at Apple and I see Peter Brown, Brian’s old pal, mine, the Beatles, Apple’s and so on. Peter knows many things. I say, ‘Allen Klein wants to meet the Beatles.’ ‘Does he ever,’ says Peter. I ask: ‘Is there anyone in his way?’ Peter says, ‘Only the Beatles.’ He explains Brian didn’t like Klein and the Beatles had never heard anything about him that attracted them either. … I say there is this guy Klein who badly wants to see them. John says yeah, Klein’s been trying to reach him but he won’t take the call. I do some hype for Klein and say he is a strange cat, hated by some of the people who met him and also by some of the people who have only heard of him. George says, ‘he sounds really nice’, and I say that if they want someone to run their money scene then Klein may be the man. But I also say they had better look at him very hard and ask around Jagger and Donovan and the others he handles. I mean really check Klein out. But see him too. See him face to face. John says OK, I’ll see him and the others rhubarb a bit and that’s the lunch over. I call Les Perrin and tell him tell Klein to call and Klein does and then he flies over really fast, like yesterday. He meets John, they talk all night and boy do they dig each other. John comes into the office and says, ‘Don’t care about the others, don’t give a shit … but I’m having Klein, he can have all of my stuff and get it sorted out.’ John says there is too much fear around, everyone must stop being frightened, everything is going to be fantastic, like Klein is going to be the genie of the lamp. Paul, George and Ringo get to meet Klein and he begins to act as if he is half-hired but maybe not. He says he will save Northern Songs from the wicked Lew Grade. He says he will buy NEMS Enterprises. He says he will take EMI to the cleaners. In the end he doesn’t save Northern Songs and he doesn’t buy NEMS Enterprises, but takes EMI and Capitol to the cleaners and to hell and back… …

It is 1970. Paul still doesn’t like Klein but John digs him more than ever and George digs him more than that and Ringo doesn’t mind him. Paul? He is so uptight about Klein he only leaves the Beatles, that’s all. Klein and me meet the press and TV and all that; together we sit on a sofa and talk about Paul. Mr Klein, why doesn’t Paul like you? Mr Taylor, why doesn’t Paul like Mr Klein? I don’t know, don’t ask me, man, don’t ask me. Paul releases his album and Klein releases the Beatles’ album and they both make a million and Klein has had Phil Spector remix Paul’s song ‘The Long and Winding Road’, adding a women’s choir and some violins etc. Paul thinks this is the shittiest thing anyone has ever done to him and that is saying something, but Klein laughs up his silk sleeve and releases ‘Long and Winding Road’ as a single anyway and still with Phil’s new arrangement. Up there in Scotland, Paul McCartney, one of the four owners of Apple, the company formed to give total freedom, artistic control, to struggling performers and writers, wonders what went wrong, when even he can’t control his own work. I am wondering too. Everyone is wondering. But Klein isn’t wondering. He knows, he knows. …

Money is pouring into Apple so I guess you could say that Allen Klein straightened Apple out as the Beatles wanted it. The only thing is … where is Apple and where are the Beatles? If you find out, please let me know, I haven’t seen them in a long time. The way I see it, Klein is really bringing a whole lot of people down, including me sometimes and I have a deal which keeps me at home writing stuff like this so what am I whining about? Well, being as how I brought Klein to Apple, by making sure the way was clear, I owe someone, somewhere something, that’s for sure. What is it and what have I done? Our Apple is all chewed up. It is the most ungroovy place I ever knew and I have to say it, we have all let it happen, all of us, but me, I told Tony Calder to tell Klein to call and if I am going to make any more mistakes about Allen Klein, then let it be writing this, let it be.

(Derek Taylor, As Time Goes By, 1973)

[runabout-river]

Thoughts on JJK chapter 271 - the last chapter (spoilers)

I did a live reading of this chapter you can find here if you're interested how my panel per panel thoughts progressed while reading it 😄

This very last chapter we start where we left off in ch 270: with the mission where the woman can't see the face of her boyfriend correctly anymore.

The first year trio are hard at work thinking through their options on what to do and how to pull that curse user out of hiding. We get a new sort of funny faces from the idiot duo, for them at least, I think these faces appeared in the Kenjaku/Takaba fight as well

The trio enacts their plan now and they catch the perpetrator really fast. Nobara does some funny yet unnecessary property damage in the process and we first get a cool panel of her and Yuji together than another silly panel of them not able to see their faces properly.

The perpetrator btw is a no name never before seen character created just for this mission so the guys can have one last low stakes adventure together.

We get a Gojo flashback giving Yuji a talk, saying his students should become better than him and forget him too, at least one of them. It isn't out of character for Gojo to say that but the placement and the build up for it is somewhat unsatisfying.

Yuji shows how he internalized Gojo's last words by encouraging the criminal to be better.

We get a cool Megumi pose with Kon after he showed us why he was the brains in the group but unfortunately that's basically it for him. Even though he was possessed and tortured by Sukuna for a month there is nothing left of that on him except superficial scars.

When Sukuna took him over Megumi was turned into an object meant to suffer. Now it feels like he's still that: an object but this time meant to be happy in a forcefully conflict free way.

When the readers believed in the dream theory, elements like that was where our thoughts came from. This forceful happy ending for everyone, a genre shift from what JJK had been at this point 🤔

Now we get a surprise Mahito and Sukuna interaction in the space before souls move on. Their conversation is interesting as is the reference to Sukuna's past and what he chose for himself.

In a way it was always apparent that Sukuna was bullshitting the people around him when he talked about himself and what others should do and not. For me it was the speech he gave to Yuji after possessing Megumi about how Yuji should stifle his misery because he was born low.

That immediately stood in stark contrast to what he later said to Kashimo about being born unwanted and cursed because now he admitted that he was in Yuji's position once too and still he developed that insanely arrogant self image.

My problem here is that this interaction references things that were not implied before like what his two paths above were supposed to be. Every time I look at that I get new ideas on what it could've been he's talking about.

It's good to have room for interpretation on someone's backstory. But to this degree it's just confusing. I thought the woman on the left is his mother, others said it could be Kenjaku or Yorozu. Whoever that is, the meaning of what Sukuna says changes drastically here.

His relationship and history with Uraume is also insufficiently explored. This scene unfortunately does not have the emotional impact it could've had if Gege had planted the correct seeds previously.

Sukuna walking away from the curse that represents human hatred however is meaningful. That part was halfway build up during the Yorozu fight when Sukuna said he would be willing to accept defeat.

We get the end of the manga the way it started: with Sukuna's last finger back in a box in a small shrine. It's poetic but the path towards it, these last chapters and the last arcs...

...it felt underwhelming, not gonna lie. Towards this ending were those unneeded scenes with the NSS and even the majority of this chapter was unnecessary and wasted time. What could've been a better last chapter than this while still hitting all the same beats would've been one solely from Sukuna's point of view.

Sukuna from before his birth, his infancy, his childhood. Showing us the path he talks about here. Giving us a glimpse on what the Calamity was, his relationship with Uraume, showing us why he accepted Kenjaku's offer. Then the canon timeline but all of it from his view. His thoughts on Megumi while he possessed him. Even the talk Yuji had with Gojo could've been shown because of the established resonance between Yuji and Sukuna.

Then should come his talk with Mahito. Then we would've understood and sympathized with it without problems .

We did not need the trio's last mission. The end scene of ch 270 was enough to make us imagine that mission on our own. This chapter could've been about sth with more meaning and the exact ending of it could've still been achieved without problems, all e.g. with Sukuna's last thoughts narrated over the happy faces of Gojo's students 😣

Overall I liked the chapter but I felt like sth was missing from this entire ending. It was safe for Gege to write I guess but it was also boring in a lost potential kind of way...

...and then I see that fucking time on that one panel and I think again about Gege wanting to troll us!

That's the same time we saw in ch 269 and I have no idea what it's supposed to mean. So now I'll make one last fucked up prediction, partly meant to be serious, mostly meant to entertain me these last few hours before the official gets released:

The digital release of chapter 271 is going to be a different chapter than the magazine release.

Why???? Because wtf not?? Shueisha and Gege probably too hate the leaks and don't you think this is only a problem in the anglosphere. Of course the Japanese side distributes these leaks around as well. From one small glimpse I saw, Japanese fans are wondering if JJK was cancelled because of this ending.

It would also fit with the dream theory or just my own thoughts from above about a differently structured last chapter.

So like, why not troll the fanbase? Many of whom have shown with Gojo's death chapter how they can't keep their eyes away from the leaks. Previously my own thoughts had been that WSJ could release final chapters like this exclusively on digital first to nip the leak problem in the bud.

But like, don't take this theory too seriously 😄

[pastelpinkkadan]

My theories/predictions of what will happen in Elain’s/Elriel’s book:

Whether for the Dead Troves (the harp, specifically) or for Vassa, Elain and Azriel will leave the Night Court and go to the Fae Realms on the Continent .

I do believe Lucien will go as well. This will set up tons of tension between Elain, Azriel, and Lucien.

Elain and Azriel will have many moments of nearly kissing or getting too close, but trying not too since Lucien is with them. Eventually they won’t be able to resist each other and will be intimate, but I don’t foresee this book being as horny as ACOSF was. Like they’ll for SURE have sexy times, but not where it’s half the book.

Elain will be working on her spying abilities, and will use them in some way while they’re investigating the Troves and/or Koschei. Like sneaking into courts, getting information, spying on certain important people or the human Queens. She’ll be honing her abilities with the Spymaster, obvi.

Elain’s seer abilities will lead them to the Troves or whatever is the answer to freeing Vassa. She has connections to both (she’s the one that led Lucien to Vassa, after all), so her powers could easily be useful in these plot points. Once again, Azriel would probably have the most knowledge with strange powers/abilities, so if Elain needs any help harnessing and improving these powers it’ll be with him.

I also predict Elain will, in turn, help Azriel understand his Shadows more or learn to use them in a different way. Whether from their love or Elain gaining insight from her Seer powers. More of Azriel’s past with his mother might also be revealed.

Speaking of past, we’ll get Elain’s POV on how she’s felt like she’s been held back by Nesta, her parents, and others. How she was coddled, but also never given the chance to do anything greater. And how she accepted that role because everyone was pleased when she did. This book will definitely be about Elain learning to put her wants and needs first, not being a people pleaser, and making her own choices.

Which brings me to the next big plot point.

Somehow, some way, Lucien is going to catch Azriel and Elain in a romantic moment. Could be a kiss, almost kiss, or the ending of some intimate times. Regardless, Lucien WILL call for a Blood Duel, which Azriel will accept.

During the Blood Duel, there’ll be lots of verbal back and forth between the two. Mostly Lucien with “she’s my mate” vs Azriel’s “she’s doesn’t belong to you. You don’t appreciate, see, or love her and you’ve never even tried”.

But at the end, it’s ELAIN who stops the Blood Duel before either can strike a killing blow. Elain proclaims she’s her own person, and the bond doesn’t mean Lucien has any claim on her. She’s going to make her own choices, with her seer powers, spy role, and the male she actually loves.

As for the “mate bond”, I 10000% think it’s somehow corrupted or faked. They will find out there’s something wrong with it and break it. I would prefer Elain and Lucien break it together, but I could also see Elain doing it by herself.

Now when this happens, I’m torn on if it’ll be revealed Azriel is Elain’s real mate, or if they’ll still choose each other despite not being mates. Either is fine with me.

I also have this idea that Azriel and Elain will actually CREATE their own mating bond. Like, it’ll be some sort of magic that they both have to consent to and choose.

Lastly, Vassa and Lucien will have a romantic moment, and Elain will give him her blessing to go after Vassa. I can see Lucien bowing to her or kissing her hand one last time and calling her “my lady” or something, before him leaving to go to Vassa and that being Lucien’s last scene in this book.

Side note, there will be some scenes with Feyre, Rhysand, Cassian, and Nesta. But I think the majority of these scenes will be at the beginning of the book before Elain and Azriel leave the Night Court, and then one or two when they come back.

I also think many of these plot points could still happen even if Elain and Azriel don’t leave the Night Court, I just think SJM is leading us to the Continent to explore that area a little more.

As for Gwyn, I don’t think she’ll be in the book much if at all. She was a side character made to be Nesta’s friend, and doesn’t have any connection to either the Troves or Koschei. I can kind of see there maybe being a revealed scene when Elain and Azriel return that Clotho is actually not the Night Court’s ally, and that she’s been using the priestesses’ and Gwyn’s Lightsinger powers to help either Koschei or the human Queens. But if there’s no scene like that, then yeah, I don’t see any valid reason for Gwyn to make an appearance in Elain’s book.

There’s more little things here and there, but those are my major predictions. Here’s hoping we get the next book soon! 😭

[wolfsbanesparks]

Fanfic idea!

So I wanted to share an idea i had for a story that just sorta appeared in my brain fully formed. It will be a while before I have time to write it out, but I wanted to share it with y'all now while it's fresh in my mind.

This was inspired by @puppetwoman17 's story "Batson Family Soap Opera" and conversations I've had with @cerealboxlore as well as some other posts I've seen floating around tumblr but can't find right now.

Title: Signed in Blood

Premise: Ebenezer Batson makes a deal with Lady Blaze to bring his son Sinclair back to life, but there's a catch: after a year and a day either Sinclair must return to the land of the dead or a blood relative must take his place.

When the time comes for Blaze to collect on her contract, the Justice League is recruited to protect the Batsons from the hellhounds and demons she sends after them.

Full details under the cut because this will get long. Like the entire fic is there in bullet point form

Okay bullet points for all the plot beats i know (basically an outline of the story)

We open on Lady Blaze tracking down Ebenezer and offering to grant his greatest wish: bringing his son back to life

Ebenezer jumps at the chance and signs the contract with his blood, even knowing the caveat that someone must die in one year. A further stipulation in the contract is that the soul of whoever dies to fulfill the contract will belong to her

Ebenezer loves his son and won't let him die again, but he's still a selfish bastard, so he doesn't plan on dying either

He justifies it to himself with the thought that Sinclair is smarter, more charismatic, and had a bright future whereas Billy is a troubled runaway who will probably become a petty crook etc.

There is only one other blood relative he knows is still alive: Billy

(Billy is of course trans in this but I'll stick to the name and pronouns we know he uses rather than Ebenezer's misgendering and deadnaming)

Sinclair does not know he's dead: Blaze wiped his memory of the accident and used magic to provide false memories to account for the time he was dead

Ebenezer tracks down Billy to take back custody of him so he'll be able to hand him over to Blaze (he knows that if billy dies and he tells people Billy ran away they'll believe it because of his history thus getting away scott free)

Billy is conflicted about being in Ebenezer's custody again, especially with a cousin he doesn't remember (he died before Billy's parents did) who seems a bit off (because he was resurrected with demonic magic)

Sinclair jumps straight into making a name for himself by running for political office (he has ambitions and plans for his future and zero idea what his father did)

While campaigning for office, exactly a year and a day since he was resurrected, Sinclair attends a major political conference

The conference is attacked by hellhounds sent by blaze to remind Ebenezer of their contract. But it causes a huge scene and the Justice League, including Captain Marvel, gets involved to help protect the political leaders of the conference

But they soon realize the main target is Sinclair so they take him and Ebenezer back to their home and offer their protection while they figure out what's going on

Ebenezer is sweating because he has no idea where Billy is so he can't offer him up like he planned (because Billy is CM at the moment) but he figures the JL can keep him and Sinclair alive

Cap is unusually rude and abrasive. He's distant and avoids certain sections of the house. The JL is worried because he never acts like this and they don't know what happened or why he doesn't seem to like the batsons

As they try to figure out why the Batsons are being targeted, a second attack happens at a charity event where the Bromfields had been in attendance (the demons targeting Mary)

The JL brings the Bromfields and the Batsons together to try to find a link. And after Batman runs a DNA test he finds out that Mary is related to them.

(Billy recognized her the moment he saw her locket and is desperately trying to hold himself back from pulling her into a hug and whisking her away from their uncle)

Ebenezer is gobsmacked that his niece is alive, Mary is ecstatic to learn more about her birth family, and the Bromfields are worried about what this all means.

The story of CC and Marilyn comes out and Sinclair tells the JL about Billy and how he's missing and they need to find him before the demons do

Demons attack the house, gunning for Cap as well which leads to some investigation and the theory that Cap is CC with memory loss which he adamantly denies

(Both Billy and Ebenezer are shaken by just how many "dead" Batsons are in the room)

Blaze appears and tells them all that due to her contract they cannot deny her: she is owed the life and soul of one of the Batsons by midnight. A life for a life.

Everyone is freaking out because what contract? And who is she?

But Billy knows who she is and it takes him no time at all to put the pieces together. He confronts Ebenezer and when he denies it, he convinces wonder woman to use the lasso of truth on him

Ebenezer is forced to tell them he made a deal and why: he wanted his son back.

But Sinclair still has no idea he died so he doesn't understand: he would have come home if his dad needed him so bad.

But Billy remembers an incident from when he was a kid living with Ebenezer: playing in the backyard, digging a hole as little kids do and finding a ring engraved with the name Sinclair Batson (a high school class ring that Sinclair always wears, one that he's wearing right now)

His uncle had been furious and punished Billy for it, but later while drunk he sobbed about how his perfect son was gone, how he'd never see him again.

Billy had (rightly) assumed he was dead but didn't ask any questions about him until he was in Ebenezer's custody again, then he assumed he was just young and misunderstood the situation (after all he'd lost so many people at that age. Lots of people were just gone without explanation)

But now he realizes the truth: Sinclair was brought back from the dead and the strange offputting aura was blazes magic

Ebenezer is forced to tell them what happened: how Sinclair died.

It was an accident. The two of them had been arguing about Sinclair going away for college among other things and things got heated. Sinclair tried to sneak out after the argument, climbing out of his window. Ebenezer caught him and shouted for him to get back inside. The shout startled Sinclair and he fell off the roof and broke his neck

Ebenezer couldn't bring himself to call the police, he was terrified they'd arrest him because the neighbors heard them arguing and Sinclair had bruises on his arm from where Ebenezer had grabbed him

So he buried his son in that backyard, telling everyone who asked that Sinclair was away for college and building up the lie so no one suspected the truth. (Billy found Sinclair's ring because he was playing on top of his unmarked grave)

Billy pushes and Ebenezer admits that he'd been planning on giving Billy up in exchange for Sinclair (airing out his justifications)

Everyone is horrified, especially Sinclair. (Not Billy though, this aligned perfectly with the Ebenezer he knew)

There's a lot of argument about what to do: most are in favor of handing Ebenezer over to Blaze but Sinclair is admant that he was supposed to be dead so it should be him she took.

But Billy knows something no one else knows about this deal, not even Ebenezer: Blaze had always intended to reap Billy's soul as payment

She knew there was no love between Billy and Ebenezer but she also knew that Billy would never let anyone (even someone he hates as much as his uncle) become her slave via owning their soul

But if Billy's soul belonged to her, so would his powers and his connection to Shazam and the Rock of Eternity. The contract would back him into a corner and his pure heart would give her the opening she needed.

So Billy pulls Sinclair and Mary aside. Mary's clinging to Sinclair because even though she just found him she doesn't want to lose him.

The three of them hatch a plan

When Blaze arrives and demands her payment Cap steps forward and offers himself (which makes everyone confused since he's been denying being CC all night)

Blaze is ecstatic because she can taste victory

Sinclair steps up and demands to know how they can trust her not to come after them again once she has cap's soul.

After a bit of back and forth, she agrees to add an addendum to the contract Ebenezer signed ensuring that she would never harm any of the Batsons after collecting what she is owed.

All batsons sign the contract in blood

Last is Billy who she tells to power down so she can collect his soul without divine interference

Billy transforms and literally everyone except Blaze is blindsided by the fact that Cap is Billy who has been missing since before this mess began

Blaze shoves her hand into Billy’s chest to rip out his soul and claim her birthright

But before he dies he gives Mary, who is shell shocked and horrified and quickly realizing that's her twin, a nod

As he falls to the ground she remembers the plan: she shouts out "Shazam" and becomes Mary Marvel

You see the night before Billy officially chose her to become his successor as Champion (Sinclair is too closely tied to blazes magic so it would've been too risky to give him. Plus Mary was always destined for the powers of Shazam but had been hidden from him by black Adam's magic)

Just as Blaze was denied her father's power and the Rock of Eternity because he chose Billy as his champion, so she was denied when Billy transferred his powers to mary

She is furious and attacks mary

But upon landing the first hit, Billy is brought back because she hurt a batson rendering the contract null and void

Together Billy and Mary send her back to hell

The epilogue features the Batsons several months later. Ebenezer is in prison for attempted murder (of both Billy and Sinclair) among other crimes. Sinclair still visits him because despite everything he loves his dad and owes him his second chance at life (it's definitely complicated) Sinclair is billys legal guardian and theyd sold the house where both Billy and Sinclair were abused moving into the same neighborhood as the Bromfields so the twins can be together again. Captain Marvel and Mary are beloved heroes and they've officially endorsed Sinclair's campaign which meant he won in a landslide.

And they lived happily ever after

So thoughts?

I told you the idea was fully formed but I'd love to hear what y'all think!

[wastingoxygensince1983]

Some thoughts about The Loyal Pin Ep. 09.

First of all I want to apologize for making long posts. I don't have anything more to give to the fandom than my words.

I am never gonna stop praising the quality of the production of this show. Everything and everyone looks so pretty.

There's another long post about this that I probably gonna make later; but I really wish to not be as naive as I am to enjoy this show without having to share it with people that are complaining about the CPR scene, not because this could bring problems with Aon but for what some comments said "I can't believe Becky kissed another woman in front of Freen". I was really hoping we moved out of that.

I feel bad for this but I am really liking the fact that we are seeing how hopeless are Anin and Pin around the Kuea situation. Is a sad true a lot of people have to learn. Pin has some status and Anin is literately a princess and they don't have a say about it. He wants Pin and sadly he is gonna get what he wants. Is the kind of world women used to live(some of them still do) and I think a lot of people that have more rights to have a choice had forgotten what we came from. I mean, see how beautiful the scene with the ring was but this is gonna be the start of the hell is gonna come from them.

I really, REALLY love how we get both the erotic scenes of last episodes but still have moments to show how lovely they are as a couple now. Is not just the moments of sex but is just a build up relationship.

In that tone, seeing both grow up and speak was great. Yes Pin was jealous about the CPR but what was great about this was the conversation that came out of it. In the kinda toxic possessive parts of them there was a great healthy conversation.

I was really hoping that the brothers weren't gonna became a nuance over this. It seems that the older brother is just shook and thinking what to do. I am having false hopes that he at the end helps when everything goes to hell.

It was so funny to me to see but Ueng is kinda the less problematic in this mess and she is literally in love with her cousin. Until the scene with the food she was just having a great time and enjoying herself. I am kinda hoping she an Aon get together in that way Aon stops being a problem for us.

The parallels between the obsession Aon and Kuea had for Anin and Pin and the love that both Pin and Anin have for each other hasn't been ignore by me. I love how we are having these type of things and we can compare those.

We are really reaching Episode 10 of a 16 episode show with zero major drama. I feel like I am spoiled. Even if the elements of what is gonna be a hell of drama are right THERE I have the opportunity to enjoy these 9.

In another note, for the last episode; I was wishing to be the fly that was in the office where the minister of commerce and the team of the Loyal Pin had a meeting for deciding to funding the show.

I can't imagine how that conversation went.

Government dude: "wait, the princess is gonna be tied up? is she ok? are you gonna included a scene where she gets kidnapped?"

IDOL FACTORY TEAM:"ehh...actually...LOOK! we include the scene in how we traditionally washed our clothes".

Anyway. Another banger of an episode. Looking forward for next sunday.

[leadandblood]

Half the terror ships I come across

[dolokhoded]

my one season 4 complaint is Where The Fuck Was Aneesa

[humornaut]

My Journey with Omori

Hey everyone. Rather than my usual analysis-type posts, this is going to go into my own personal experience with Omori. I've kind of wanted to do this for awhile, because I feel like I have a lot that I want to say about this game. This post is going to have major Omori spoilers. I will also be going into some criticisms of the game (though not particularly heavily). This one will be a long one.

My Background

This might not be something that people care about, but I feel it is important to start with my life situation at the time I discovered the game.

In 2020, I graduated from college with a degree in game design. If you remember 2020, you can probably guess where I'm going with this. Everyone left for spring break, and the day before we were supposed to come back, they extended break by a week. Then, at the end of that additional week, classes had gone fully remote. My three roommates at the time never really came back to campus, and I finished out the lease alone. I never got to do any kind of internship, and I didn't get a graduation ceremony. I really didn't know what I was doing with my life, and finding a job in the games industry seemed impossible. So, I made a decision to move in with my aunt and work at an insurance agency. I was states away from anyone I ever knew, working in an industry wholly unrelated to what I had just dedicated years of my life to studying, but it was a job.

I wonder a lot if this was the right call. At the time, it seemed like an obvious decision, but now, I'm even more unsure of my skills when it comes to breaking into the games industry, and working 40+ hours a week can really sap your motivation when it comes to personal projects.

As the world opened back up, I started hearing from all my friends less and less, and life really started getting monotonous. Living alone is expensive, and I'm not good at opening up to new people.

Last November, by chance, a comic by twitter user Shrimperini appeared on my feed (it's still the pinned tweet on her account if you want to see!). One thing led to another, I saw some more positive reviews of the game, and I ended up picking the game up on Switch when I saw at on sale at a Best Buy.

Now, anyone that knows me could tell you, this isn't the type of game I usually play. I've always gravitated towards things like strategy games or rogue-likes. I only really stray from that in a few cases, whether it's to play a game with my friends, or just a game that I've had a long-standing connection with, like Pokémon. I did play Undertale and Deltarune (and loved them!), but overall, this type of game was not one that I typically went out of my way to play.

Also important: I've never interacted with any fandom in the way that I do with Omori. You can trawl through my Twitter, you won't find much of me talking about ships or obsessing over details until I started talking about Omori. All this is to say: Omori was a bit of a first for me on a few different levels. So, let's get into my actual journey with the game.

The First Playthrough: The Sunny Route

I unfortunately already knew a few details about the game going into things, but nothing that was too big of a spoiler. Something that I think gets overlooked is how great Omori's prologue is. In my opinion, the first night in Headspace is the best night in Headspace, bar none. It perfectly sets you up for what the game's going to be about, and I want to talk more about that later, because I feel that it really shines on later playthroughs.

Based on what I said about my background, you can probably guess what I'm going to say. Sunny's story and personality resonated heavily with me. At school, I was always the quiet one, just kind of following what my friends wanted to do until I started coming out of my shell a bit later on. Faraway is very similar to the town and suburb that I grew up in, and I know that many people feel the same way. Walking around Faraway felt like walking around my own home town today, years after almost everyone I knew back then has moved out and started their own lives. I mean this literally, as well, since I started playing this game right around American Thanksgiving, so I actually was back in my home town. It's nostalgic in a way, and I think that that is a major strength of the game.

I also do want to say, that while a Kel/Sunny comic is what introduced me to the game, I mostly assumed that it wasn't actually a canon ship. What I didn't expect was for the game to actually depict a close male relationship that does border on romantic in its presentation, which made those opening transition scenes of Sunny and Basil so interesting (as well as Basil indirectly calling Omori cute during the flower meaning segment), though I do want to talk a little bit more about that later.

From there, I feel that my experience was a lot like most people's first time with the game. I got to experience Faraway, then tried to rush through Night 2 of Headspace without paying much attention, so that I could get back to the real world plot. I didn't pay much attention during Sweetheart's Castle, and it's already-commented-on gameplay drag issues felt exacerbated by the fact that I just wanted to get on with it.

Real world day 2 happens, I got to meet Hero in the real world, Basil gets pushed into the lake, etc, etc. The shroud has started to lift on what's actually going on here. The North Lake segment got me ready to figure out what was actually going on, but first: Last Resort and Humphrey.

It was around this time that I began wondering if there actually was any kind of gay subtext actually going on. Of course, I had seen the Lost Library entry for the ride home from the beach, but as I descended into Sunny's subconscious, the way that the game started talking about Basil took on a much different tone. I got to the Branch Coral, and listened to it talk about how Sunny and Basil are connected by a "string of fate". This immediately set off some alarm bells in my head. A lot of debate has been had about this line, but for me personally, even if a string of fate isn't always romantic imagery, it certainly is most of the time. Seeing it written in the game (as something that Sunny's subconscious is saying, no less) completely had me reconsidering if there was a connection, which I hadn't really thought about since Basil's disappearance. I thought about the photo album, and how well Basil is treated in Headspace, and it just had me thinking.

I got through Humphrey, finished up the side quests that I still had, and it was time to start Black Space. Prior to that, however, Stranger lead me through Basil's garden once again, going over the flower meanings. I took note about how the meaning of sunflowers, as it was the first time I made the connection about Sunny's name and Basil's meaning for them (plus him literally always facing Sunny in several scenes lol). And then there was what Basil said about white tulips.

Being honest, it was difficult for me to interpret Basil as not being in love with Sunny after that, and Stranger's dialogue in some of the Black Space rooms really cemented that for me.

Black Space as a whole left me extremely intrigued as to what the plan was. The way it ended really left me in suspense for what was really going on. How did it all relate to what happened to Mari? I had already assumed at this point that she had taken her own life, due to some of the imagery. But what else was going on here? I didn't exactly think the game was going to veer back from being a horror title to turn into some kind of dating sim, but it was clear to me that Basil was involved with some other secret.

In a reversal of what I had expected of the game up until this point, I found it difficult to care about the real world plot of the game during day 3. It didn't help that it felt like a rushed resolution of the Aubrey plot, and I felt like I was simply going through the motions. I still have no idea how I'm supposed to interpret the key in the treehouse and how it got there, and it felt a little aggravating that plans were being made between Aubrey and Hero to include the hooligans next time, while Basil himself was still locked in his room.

So then, the truth sequence. It completely blew away my expectations for what the game was saying, and recontextualized so much of what came before it. Sunny had done something awful by accident, and Basil had done something awful to protect him. That last "Do you want to save Basil?" really hit me hard. I hadn't felt so part of the game until this moment. It was like I was Sunny, and I was mulling over whether or not I forgive Basil for the horrible situation his actions put us both in. The stakes are high, because it's clear that something bad will happen to Basil if I don't. I didn't actually know it at the time, but this is the first time you can actually choose not to save Basil. It's emotional.

And the fight. The way the game creates confusion as to what is actually going on between Sunny and Basil during it by using vague wording and hallucinations. Basil's desperation and the way his desire to protect Sunny as his "perfect" best friend come together, leading to the fight.

Memory Lane happens, and I honestly didn't think much of it at the time. It was cool to see some of the memories in better detail, but it wasn't as emotional to me as what came before or what will come after.

I would be remiss to not include that we learn that it was actually Sunny that had a crush on Aubrey, and not the other way around. I had already suspected this, based on Aubrey not being close to him in the photo album, along with the Lost Library memory, but I remember thinking it was an interesting choice to have Basil be the one to call it out.

I finished up the game, and it impacted me a whole lot. I wasn't planning on playing the other route at first, as I heard that it was just Headspace and mostly unchanged, and I felt satisfied with the story that I got. I walked away with the understanding that pre-canon, Basil had feelings for Sunny that he likely didn't understand, while Sunny had a crush on Aubrey that he was never bold enough to pursue. How they felt at the time the game actually took place is irrelevant to the story being told, outside of us understanding that these are relatable individuals, and I walked away alright with that.

Of course, after that initial wave of emotions from the ending subsided, I did have some criticisms. Sunny's actual friendship with Aubrey felt underdeveloped, as her behavior both in Headspace and the real world differ so heavily from how she behaves in the glimpses we see of the past. Unlike Sunny's relationships with the others, there's no real unique identifiers other than Sunny's crush. While I would not have wanted the only living female character in the main cast to have been treated as a love interest in both the real world and dream world, it would have been nice if the game gave us a little more than just the swing set conversations, like how we get Kel talking about their late night trips to Hobbeez. In addition, while I understood on a base level that whether or not Basil and Sunny are forgiven didn't really matter to the story being told, not seeing it happen left me feeling a tad empty.

Finally, I felt extremely dissatisfied with Headspace. On a superficial level, I could see that many of the things in Headspace were based on things from the real world, it didn't really feel like it had all that much significance, and the knowledge that it would be more of the same in the other route kept me from playing it. I occasionally visited the subreddit, read a few post-canon fics (Bask in the Sun by Lemari and They say Flowers are Meant to be Sunkissed by Witherdahlia being highlights with very similar concepts), and slowly immersed myself in the Twitter community.

Of course, as time went by, I started making my own interpretations about the game. I got very attached to Sunflower, as I felt the fics were the most interesting to read, and I already held the interpretation that Basil had those feelings for Sunny, even if I didn't think it even mattered if Sunny reciprocated (though I did like talking about their dynamic a lot). In February, Sunflower week happened, and I randomly happened across a tweet that pointed out how Sunny knows the recipe for a strawberry cake in Headspace, with that being relevant due to Basil's birthday being one in which a strawberry cake appears. This blew my mind a little bit, and I made the decision to go back and play the Hikikomori route.

The Second Playthrough: The Hikikomori Route

What I had previously assumed would be a slog through things that I had already done before turned out to be far more interesting. Without the desire to get back to the real world plot hanging over me, I found myself paying a lot more attention to the things that were happening in Headspace. Playing the prologue again was amazing, because I was taken aback by how it practically parallels the entirety of the Sunny route, right down to having to retrieve a stolen item and receiving an eyepatch after the boss fight. Some day, I might break that down further, because it's so interesting. But not today.

Pyrefly Forest and Sweetheart's Castle were much more bearable this time around, because I was paying attention to the little references to Basil and Sunny's friendship in Pyrefly, and the ways Sweetheart's Castle represented a candied-up version of the way that Sunny interprets the concept of "home". This time through Headspace, I saw the very subtle ways that Basil's thoughts "follow Sunny into his dreams". And then, rather than Mari leading you through North Lake, it's Kel. Stranger no longer tells us what Basil thought about white tulips and Sunny, but this time in Black Space, I noticed the implications that Sunny would open up to Basil about his trauma coming from the Lake Incident. It ends with Omori catching Basil in a bridal carry before returning his flower crown.

Whereas the Sunny route was this heart wrenching tale about forgiveness and guilt, and overcoming your fears for others, and how ignorance hurts those you care about the most, the Hikikomori route functioned almost as this deep dive into Sunny's subconscious. The fact that I was playing through pretty much the exact same stuff again but with a completely different perspective kind of blew my mind, and I wonder if this was intentional.

This is all to say that it was around this time that I was once again asking myself the question of if Sunny's feelings for Basil (at least pre-canon) were entirely platonic. Especially as I played the Basil Rush, with its new Tag Photos and Release Energy, I wondered if the game was actually trying to imply a romantic connection. And if it was, why? What purpose would it serve in the narrative for these feelings to exist? How does it relate to Sunny's crush on Aubrey, which surely must've existed in the story for a reason? And how does it all relate to the litany of things Sunny things about in regards to romance?

From a narrative perspective, I could reason that Sunny and Basil having feelings for each other that they could never healthily explore injects further tragedy into the day of the incident and Sunny locking himself away. It provides a context for Sunny's focus on "saving" Basil, both in Headspace and the real world. Basil is undeniably linked to photos and flowers, which are two huge symbols that appear throughout Sunny's mind.

Everything else is stuff I've already spoken about before. The way Sunny treated Aubrey parallels how he treated Basil, and via both things like his fear of spiders, and the way all the foods Sunny appears to know information on how to prepare being associated with Basil, his dynamic with Basil mirrors the way Sunny thinks of Hero and Mari's relationship during Memory Lane.

Playing through the Hikikomori route completely changed the way that I thought about Omori. It was no longer just the story of Sunny accepting his role in his sister's death, I was also now considering the possibility that the game did have a romantic subtext between its two deuteragonists, and thinking about the repercussions of such an idea.

As I completed everything that there was to do in the Hikikomori route, I was immediately taken in with the idea of replaying the Sunny route, with all the knowledge I now had from my previous experiences. First, let me say: Everything that I assumed about playing through Headspace a second time and was luckily wrong about, actually applied on my third run. I did not enjoy playing through Headspace on my third run through, and it will likely be awhile before I do so again.

However, I did start to get an appreciation for details that I missed in my first run in Faraway. Basil's little mannerisms during cutscenes, such as looking to Sunny before responding to Kel's insistence that they were all still friends, as well as the repetition of Sunny backing away from his friends' pain due to his subconscious guilt and fear of facing it, before the final payoff of Sunny choosing to walk back into the center of the room on his own accord during the confrontation with Basil. During Memory Lane, I took note that in the Treehouse Memory, Sunny asked to see one of Basil's pictures that had nothing to do with Aubrey, when previously he only asked to look at pictures of her. There are three different instances in which the player is reminded that Hero and Mari's relationship specifically is one in which they cook for each other specifically, and this information was now recontextualized with the knowledge that Sunny knows the recipe for a strawberry cake, owns a book about tofu (which he hates), and that's not even getting into all the stuff about smoothies in Headspace. Where Aubrey saying that Sunny "would listen to her talk to hours" was once a confirmation that Aubrey and Sunny did have any kind of dynamic at all, I now saw it as a recontextualization of how we were told Sunny interacted with Basil. (also, the "truth" being hidden in the toy chest, which is itself hidden in the closet was certainly a choice /j)

What was the point of all this?

Frankly, it's starting to feel like I'm running out of things to say about Omori. With every post I've made on here and Twitter, there's less things for me to extrapolate from Omori's storytelling, and it's unlikely that we will ever get any more added on to canon. I've grown to love this community, and I think it's so interesting when I look back at how I interpreted the game back in November when I first discovered it, and today. I hope that that will become evident with the mod that I am working on, Senesce.

Obviously, everyone has their own ideas when it comes to what Omori is trying to imply with its characters. Accepting Sunflower as "canon" (in the sense that those feelings do exist in some form) has deepened my love of the game and characters, and I love that other people can have entirely different interpretations and still be just as satisfied with the game! Even if it was all unintentional, I cannot deny that it has lit a fire under me when it comes to game writing.

I desperately want to create a game that has someone at home obsessing over the smallest details to extract meaning in the way I have for Omori. Flawed as it may be, it's special to me, and I'm glad I played it. Thanks for listening to me ramble about it!

[variousqueerthings]

actually you know whose reaction I'd be really curious about, potentially coming across fourteen in the shops? Francine!

[fettery-fetterie]

if i was an artist with budget i'd be able to draw the buildup and all. i am not an artist with budget tho. so 3 panels will do

Kinda suggestive/nsfw tags btw go there with caution

anyways i think i huave covid