#some of the guys don’t have visuals to go with them yet

[unknownarmageddon]

SonderTale Masterpost!

god damn this was an absolute pain in my ass to make. Also it’s long as hell but it’s done! /lh /nm

This is also an updated version, so if you’ve seen something similar on Quotev, I strongly recommend reading through this one too!

Let’s start with a bit of an overview/introduction

SonderTale is an original Undertale AU of mine, which consists of several one off stories located in its own one-shots book. (Linked here) as well as some art I’ve made of the characters here and there.

SonderTale is an AU inspired by Cryptids and folklore, and has both dark, horror, and almost surreal themes as well as more fluffy/domestic themes. Though ST is inspired by some folklore, most of the Sanses’ origins are not in any way supposed to be exact representations of said folklore. Mostly, I’ve made characters loosely inspired by the folklore and creatures, with only some pieces of their original inspiration. The characters are also not meant to be the Cryptids themselves (like, SonderTale’s Dust is not meant to be what his inspiration is) but rather separate creatures entirely. 

      SonderTale canonically includes the ships Kross, HorrorDust, and Killermare, which will be expanded on later. Also, I do not own the originals of the characters included in SonderTale, only the AU itself and its concept. All credits go to the original creators, and Undertale belongs to Toby Fox.

       Now, for the question of how I got my inspiration for SonderTale. Last year I was on a trip with family, and one of the places we went to was near something related to Goatman. This sparked the conversation of Goatman himself, and just Cryptids in general. Later, we were walking over a bridge at a swap-set nature walk, I got inspiration to write. Of course, I got the idea for an Undertale AU, which was based around/inspired by Cryptids and set somewhere similar to the forest that gave me that initial inspiration. Several of the locations in SonderTale are actually inspired by different places I’ve seen, either through media or personal experience.

      SonderTale’s main setting is a forested swap, located near farmland. Amidst the forest is a small lake, in the middle of which there is a medium-sized island that houses an abandoned graveyard. Not far away is a large, metal bridge leading over a human river. 

Below the cut will be bios of the characters found in this AU, starting with SonderTale’s Horror

SonderTale!Horror (Rueing)

       This version of Horror Sans is inspired by the Goatman. Cadaver has been known to call him “Rue”.             

      Rueing is mostly paranoid, dull, apathetic, territorial, gruff and feral. He minds his business, and he’d like it that others do the same. However, when around SonderTale Dust, he may be calmer and more toned down. Rueing isn’t drastically overprotective of his forest, but can be protective of Cadaver if he gets harmed in some way. He will also attack anyone who tries to interfere with his home or garden, or is found caught in one of his traps. Rueing is very self-sufficient, as he grows his own crops and preserves and slaughters his own meat. He hardly travels outside the forest, and stays as far away from humanity as he can manage.

      Rueing normally feels conflicted and uncertain when it comes to his own, and Cadaver’s, hunting habits. His preferred hunting method is traps, and several bear traps have been set up throughout the forest. He collects fungus, herbs, dead preserved deformed animals, and the skulls of dead animals. He also keeps jars of eyes (animal) as well as jars holding the internal organs and smaller body parts of animals. He keeps most of these jars in his cellar, along with his unpacked and unprocessed dear meat.

Below will be a bit more compact bio of Rueing.

Active : Nocturnal 

Height : 6’7”

Place of Residence : A cabin located in the forest, neighboring marshland 

Preferred Prey : Deer, homegrown produce, and most other forest-residing animals. 

Current Partner : SonderTale Dust (Cadaver)

Skills : Cooking, Watercolor Painting, Gardening, Foraging, Botany, Wound-Attending, General Off-The-Grid Survival, 

Weakness : His legs and head wound, blindness is one eye, his connection with his partner

Magical Abilites : Bone summoning and manipulation, higher physical endurance, limited healing, and Gaster Blasters

Origin : Rueing worked as a farmhand on a goat farm, but as a punishment for “antagonistic behavior” was trapped in the homeowner’s basement. Here he went practically insane, and was gruesomely starved. Once he was free he slaughtered and ate more than half of the farm’s goats which he previously cared for. In a rage he fled to the nearby woods, which is where he was mutated into his current form and where he stays to this day.

SonderTale’s Dust (Cadaver)

This version of Dust is inspired by the Wendigo. He has been called “Caddy” and “Dusty” by Tryst.    

      Cadaver is generally very dull, distrustful, reserved, wild, aggressive, and territorial. (Compared to Rueing, he is much more animalistic as well) He shows very little emotion around anyone he isn’t close to, and has a generally inexpressive face and mannerisms. As mentioned, he is extremely territorial, and won’t hesitate to kill anyone who trespasses in his forest. Cadaver dislikes being trapped inside, and would much rather be outside hunting with his companion, Sonder Killer. He is prone to getting himself hurt, and therefore will often need to be healed by Rueing. His hunts can last for weeks, or even months in some cases.

   Cadaver sheds his antlers, like actual deer do. He regrows them during the spring. The antlers are covered in velvet before they completely harden. It is unknown why his antlers function this way.

Below will be a bit more compact bio of Cadaver.

Active : Nocturnal 

Height : 6’10”

Place of Residence : He has no concrete home, and instead lives within the forest. He will usually stay with Rueing between hunts.

Preferred Prey : Humans (However, he may settle for deer or livestock)

Current Partner : SonderTale Horror (Rueing)

Skills : Hunting, stealth, navigating through thick forest, combat, tracking, 

Weakness : his relationship with Rueing, his recklessness, his low agility, detest of small spaces, his aggression

Magical Abilities : Bone summoning and manipulation, enhanced physical stamina and endurance, and telekinesis 

Origin : It is said that while on a winter hike, Cadaver got separated from his brother. He searched tirelessly for him, eventually getting himself more lost in the labyrinth of the woods. He wandered for what may have been days, starved, delirious and cold until his brother finally found him. In Cadaver’s ravenous confusion, he slaughtered his brother and ate most of his body. He quickly developed a taste for human flesh, and this greed disfigured him into the creature he is now.

SonderTale’s Killer (Tryst)

This version of Killer is inspired by the Chupacabra. He tends to be laidback, witty, stubborn, cocky, reckless, impulsive, energetic, and a tease. He doesn’t care much if humans sight him, and bothers very little with keeping a low profile when near civilization. He is especially cocky when he’s around both Alpas and Cadaver, and tends to be more extroverted. However, he is indeed distrustful of strangers, despite not usually expressing this externally.  He can be quite competitive, and enjoys partaking in friendly competitions with Cadaver while on their hunts. Additionally, when on a hunt he tends to revert to mad, almost sadistic ways. Sonder Killer carries himself low to the ground in an almost slinking manner, and accompanies Cadaver on many of his hunts.  Trust prefers to keep to himself, and does not venture very fair in any direction alone. He is also currently in a toxic relationship with Whist, as Whist is controlling and abusive toward Tryst.

Below will be a bit more compact bio of Tryst.

Active : Nocturnal, occasionally diurnal

Height : 5’8”

Place of Residence : Tryst lives under an abandoned overpass, which is near expansive farmland.

Preferred Prey : The blood of goats, sheep and other livestock. However, he has been known to drain humans and eat human food. 

Current Partner : SonderTale’s Cross (Alpas)

Former Partner : SonderTale’s Nightmare (Whist) ((toxic relationship, abusive))

Skills : Stealth, knife-related skills/tricks, pick pocketing, agility, acrobatics, close combat

Weakness : Poor defense, fear of failure, his soul, sight problems, low skill in ranged combat, his relationship with Alpas

Magical Abilities : Teleportation, knife summoning and manipulation, blood digestion and dependence, enhanced speed and endurance

Origin : It’s not fully known where he came from, but sightings date back several years of a skeletal, canine figure mutilating livestock. Many suspect he came from the forest.

SonderTale’s Cross (Alpas)

This version of Cross is inspired by the Thunderbird. He has been nicknamed “Crisscross” by Tryst.    

       Generally Alpas is serious, solitary, alert, extremely distrustful, reserved, and paranoid. He is practically always on edge. Though, once he’s around someone he’s comfortable with (notably Tryst), he can be more relaxed and upbeat. He is also incredibly protective of those he’s formed a bond with, and would do anything to keep them out of harm.

      Alpas usually never attacks or hunts humans, and is seen as generally harmless. He also refuses to go near civilization. Thus, he normally stays solitarily to himself and is sometimes seen as an omen for bad comings or as a powerful nature spirit amongst humankind. When he travels via flight, he uses the cover of thick storm clouds as to not be noticed. Despite being incredibly tall, most of his size comes from his massive pitch black wings. (He has a wingspan of roughly 16 feet) When he flaps these wings hard enough, lightning and thunder are produced. He tends to fluff up his feathers when he’s on edge and as a method of intimidation. He carries a golden heart locket in a pouch on his hip. While he does not know many people apart from Tryst, he has a very bad relationship with Whist. He despises Whist, and Whist despises him. Alpas only wants to protect Tryst from Whist, and has gotten into countless fights with Whist because of this. These fights have left both sides seriously wounded.

Below will be a bit more compact bio of Alpas

Active : Nocturnal, occasionally diurnal

Height : 8”

Place of Residence : He has no distinct home, but mainly sleeps in one large, old oak tree located within the forest. He spends most of his time flying, or with Tryst.

Preferred Prey : Scavenged human food, and occasionally animals

Current Partner : SonderTale’s Killer (Tryst)

Skills : Aerodynamics, agility, navigating, celestial navigation, ranged combat, resistance to harsh weather,

Weakness : his relationship with Tryst, his wings, fear/wariness of humans, sensitivity to bright lights

Magical Abilities : Lightning summoning and manipulation, other electricity-related abilities, summoning and manipulating storm clouds and in some (special) cases tornadoes, enhanced endurance, and Gaster Blasters

Origin : Unlike many of the other monsters, Alpas was created the way he is. He’s been around much longer than anyone else, and it’s unknown how he came into being.

SonderTale’s Nightmare (Whist)

This version of Nightmare is inspired by the Jersey Devil. Whist is a reserved, collected, calm, sadistic, apathetic, and cruel person. He shows very little positivity, and has a habit of using others. Though, he can be quite curious of things unknown to him. He often times puts up a fake, more approachable, persona when he’s trying to learn more about someone. He’ll act polite, friendly, and calm when he does this, attempting to gain their trust and friendship. Most of the time he ends up using any information gathered from his desired victim against them to siphon negativity from them, on which he feeds and draws energy. He is also prone to snapping if angered enough, and will have the occasional outburst if outraged. Many of these outbursts are directed at Tryst.

    Whist appears to be the most refined of the Monsters, and has very “human” or “proper” mannerisms. He also isn’t very territorial, and has on occasion even escorted humans out of the forest if they had been lodt. Additionally, Whist is incredibly powerful, both magically and physically. He can hold his own well in battle, but prefers to not have to engage with it at all. He is completely blind in one eye, which he takes care not to let his adversary take advantage of. Whist is very fond of games, and will often subject his victims to card games or mental games of his own making. He is sly in this way, and takes great enjoyment in these games.

Below will be a bit more compact bio of Whist.

Active : Any time, not strictly nocturnal

Height : 6’4”

Place of residence : An abandoned house located in the forest, which is collapsing in some places. Whist has partially fixed it up, and added his own furniture. 

Preferred Prey : He appears to feed entirely off the negativity of others

Current Partner : N/A

Former Partner : SonderTale’s Killer (Tryst) ((Toxic relationship, abusive))

Skills : Manipulation, Writing/Language arts, reading emotions, tactics, poetry, piano, card games

Weakness : Intense positivity, fear of remembering, his blind spot, his past, his issues with anger

Magical Abilities : Sensing emotions, summonable tentacles, limited shape-shifting, resistance to projectiles, acidic body that is harmful to the touch, negative aura with a wide radius

Origin : It is said that Whist was orphaned at a very young age, and lived in an orphanage for most of his adolescent and teenage life. Here he was bullied severely. His bullies saw him as weak and worthless, and this became a large insecurity for Whist. Eventually having enough, Whist found a way to summon a demon of pure negativity. The two fused, thus converting Whist into his current state. After the fusion everyone in the orphanage was massacred.

SonderTale’s Error (Knell)

This version of Error is inspired by the Mothman. Generally he tends to be cocky, irritable, curious, eccentric, confident and somewhat narcissistic. He’s very much a loner, and doesn’t personally know any of the other monsters apart from Whist. Knell, like Alpas, is generally harmless to humans. He typically does not hunt humans or animals, and spends a majority of his time either in the graveyard, his bridge, or flying. The inside of his wings are decorated with large, intricate golden eye-like patterns, and the antennae on his head function similar to a cat’s whiskers.

     Knell enjoys observing humans and their antics, as he finds them entertaining. He collects a variety of human items, taking interest in their oddity. He keeps his horde of these items tucked away on his bridge. He is also known to capture live humans, as well, keeping them for as long as he pleases trapped on his bridge. He practically toys with them like dolls, and occasionally he kills them, but most times he frees them once he looses interest. Knell is farsighted.

As previously mentioned, Knell is also very irritable. He is easy to anger or upset, and if he does not get his way, he may through entire tantrums. These are quite desctructive, and can go on for days at a time.

Below will be a bit more compact bio of Knell

Active : Crepuscular, sometimes nocturnal 

Height : 6’4”

Place of Residence : He mainly resides on a large metal bridge leading over a human river, but also rests on trees and power lines.  

Preferred Prey : scavenged human and animal carcasses, and stolen human candy (mostly chocolate)

Current Partner : N/A

Skills : Knitting, sewing, crochet, deception, perception, stealth, ranged combat, literature

Weakness : Close combat, his bad eyesight, his protectiveness of his captured humans, fear of physical contact, a fear of needles and enclosed spaces, his past/fear of remembering his past

Magical Abilities : Silk-like strings, summonable magical bones, limited portals, sharp night vision,

Orgin : Knell is a product of human meddling. Apparently, he was captured and subjected to severe experimentations, both mental and physical, causing him to be disfigured into his current state. He managed to break out, killing the humans responsible in the process. It is unknown precisely what these aforementioned experiments entailed.

SonderTale’s Fresh (Akrasia)

This version of Fresh is inspired by the Skinwalker. He is usually very upbeat, friendly-seeming, laidback, approachable, and eccentric when around other people, but has been known to act in drastically contrasting demented, cold, crazed, and dull ways when alone, angered, or around his victims. Akrasia himself is actually a parasite that has infected a host’s body. The parasite itself has very little basic emotions, is almost completely mindless, and only has the motivation of survival.

     Akrasia’s most notable ability is shapeshifting. He accomplishes changing shape by breaking his own bones and reconfiguring them into the structure of other entities. This causes him very little pain, and is done magically. He is able to reform entirely new joints, and fully change the shape of his skull this way. It can take up to five hours to completely finish a transformation, while smaller changes take shorter amounts of time. He also has the ability to imitate any human’s voice, or the sound of any animal.

     Akrasia’s method of hunting involves luring his decided victim away either by voice imitation and/or shapeshifting, before killing them. He has also been known to “hone in” on a single specific person for months, getting close to them and slowly luring them away to where he can easily kill them. He wears the pelts of his victims’ household pets as disguises. 

    Very little is actually fully known about Akrasia. Mostly all that is known is just pieced-together speculations. 

Below will be a bit more compact bio of Akrasia.

Active : Mostly nocturnal, sometimes crepuscular or diurnal 

Height : 6’5”, fluctuates between transformations 

Place of Residence : In and around nearby farmland, prefers to take cover in tall grass

Preferred Prey : Humans, occasionally household pets. Never wildlife. 

Current Partner : N/A

Skills : Deception, imitation, hiding/masking emotions, agility, stealth, 

Weaknesses : Unknown

Magical Abilities : Shapeshifting, enhanced speed, some immunity to attacks, body regeneration/self healing, summonable magic bones

Origin : Little is known about his origin. All that is concretely known is that he is a parasite, and nothing more.

Unsorted Trivia

- SonderTale Murder’s name comes from the Norwegian horror film “Cadaver”

- SonderTale Killer’s name, Tryst, means “A secret rendezvous between lovers”. This is a reference to his relationship with Alpas

- This image was a main reference/inspiration for Alpas’ design

- The Great Raven (Thunderbird) from Hilda is also another large source of inspiration for Alpas

- July 13th is SonderTale’s anniversary. This is the date that the first work related to SonderTale was finished.

- There is an already existing Undertale Comic series named Sondertale. They are unrelated, and the name similarity was unintentional.

- Rueing was the first character created, along with Cadaver.

- All of the characters are unaware of the existence of other timelines/universes

- Resetting doesn’t exist in this AU

- All of the Monsters have ‘human’ souls (right-side-up souls)

- The “video game” aspects of Undertale aren’t as prominent in this AU, and it’s more realistic in that sense. Eating food or sleeping doesn’t increase or replenish health, and HP and LV are not as relevant if at all. Save points don’t exist.

- The way monsters are created in this AU is, when an enough of a human soul’s humanity is stripped away, their physical form and mental state is distorted into that of a monster. They are not born they way they are, but created. The only exception to this is Whist, and Alpas. (Akrasia’s parasite infected a human host, but through hunting other humans, was made into a monster)

- When monsters are created, their souls loose all color

- Alpas still has the iconic gold heart locket, but he just keeps it in his jacket pocket most of the time so it isn’t visible

- SonderTale Papyrus was Cadaver’s brother, and was human. He had a very similar personality to the original Papyrus, and his name was Conner.

- When they are transformed, the monsters forget their human names and are “given” a new name, which they somehow know without ever being told. They also forget parts of their human lives, mostly the positive parts.

- The monsters are their own species. They wouldn’t be called “Goatman” or “skinwalker” only just “monster”

- The only monsters that generate any kind of body heat are Akrasia, Alpas, and Rueing. All the others are very cold to the touch. 

Anyway, thank you so much if you managed to read all the way through that! I really we wanted to get this all out there so. If you’d like to see any art or other posts related to these guys, please check its Tumblr tag. Also, feel free to ask any questions about them that you have!

[midnightstar-kpopsmut]

Chapter I, Coming to Seoul

He had come to South Korea on a business trip, this was one of his days off to explore the city, he was trying not to rush it. As a first stop on his walk he had decided to go look at the streets of Gangnam, a district that had been popularized more than ten years ago by the song Gangnam Style, an instant global hit that mixed hints of sex with promises of something big yet to come. Walking in the Apgujeong neighborhood, one of the busiest and party oriented sections of Gangnam, he could often feel girls eyes stopping on him. He was, luckily enough, a handsome boy. A clear and cut American look, which is not surprising since he came from California, short brown hair, brown eyes, a wide white t-shirt that made him look fresh. Now at the end of his twenties, you can imagine something like « young but experienced »... He was just hot. But not too hot, and surely not arrogant. Anyway now he was walking so let’s keep going.

Despite the attentions received his mind was elsewhere. It could have been him being used to be looked at, but it was probably just the heat. Seoul had entered spring a few weeks ago, announced by all those pretty flowers blossoming, and it was now starting to gradually heat up, pointing to a scorching summer. He had imagined to walk until sunset, but this was unbearable. Too hot. He needed something to drink and a place to sit. He started looking at the bar signs. This was a rich neighborhood, so they were all quite pretty, and it already soothed his mind. One in particular grabbed his attention, a blue neon sign with pink accents displaying a bold english name: - Midnight Star. The center of the front door was decorated by a round logo, a full pale blue moon with a pair of lips lasciviously placed in the middle of it. Our hero couldn’t stop himself from thinking that a moon isn’t a star, that they should have used some kind of stylized five points star with a tail, instead. Despite these criticism, which were part of his job after all, he found the name intriguing so decided to enter. If the occasion arose he could have discussed the logo with the manager of the place, but without being too arrogant, since he was indeed not arrogant. Inside the Midnight Star the atmosphere was pleasant. Not many costumers at this hour, but the fresh breeze coming from the air conditioners was all that mattered. The spacious main room was lit by crystal chandlers and massive leather chair were placed all around tables. He aimed for one at the back and sit down. After his drink arrived, now more in control of his body temperature, he started looking at the costumers. One couple had been sitting at the bar since before his arrival. He couldn’t stop looking. He was not in a relationship himself, he had been before but they often ended over lack of interest, no matter from which side. But still he found them sweet, especially the girl, who was letting her head hang in front of the guy as if saying “do with me what you please”.

Emerging from the toilets, or maybe from one of the back rooms, a guy with a round face and a pleasant smile noticed the American sitting at the table. This new guy was Korean, at least visually speaking, and was on his forties. The more he looked upon the American drinking his drink and looking at the couple, the more he smiled. The Korean regained his composure and approached the table. - Hello, said the Korean, can I sit here with you? I mean, don’t you mind? - Sure, answered the American.” Making a gesture to give him space to his side. The Korean was so happy, he immediately sit and said: - They are cute. I’ve never seen them around here. I hope they will come back more. - Do you come here often, asked the American, this must be your table. - No, no, this is a nice bar but I am all over the place, I just didn’t want to sit alone. What’s your name?” The American presented himself, stating his name and job, while the Korean nodded and listened. He then asked the same question to the Korean. - I am... Jimmy, the Korean answered, nice to meet you” Jimmy didn’t include his job. Which the American found odd, but he had probably just forgot. Instead he asked: - Jimmy? Is Jimmy... Korean?” - Korean is what you want it to be, answered Jimmy, I like the sound of this name, my friends always call me Jimmy.” - I hope I can be your friend, then, added the young American.” Upon hearing this Jimmy smiled even more and ordered his own drink with one hand, while the other patted his new friend on his back.

Waiting for the drink Jimmy asked: - You are handsome...” but was interrupted by the handsome American which said – Thank you, I am normal.” This time Jimmy really asked – No, really, you are handsome. You are tall, and your jaw, is... so sharp. So what is stopping you, from being like them? I mean like him? - Well, first of all, I am not Korean. - I mean, having a beautiful girl like her” said Jimmy, who wasn’t easy to trick. He added: - You said to me you are single, don’t you... like girls?” Jimmy faked distress and put some space between themselves. The American answered: - Of course I like girls!” Jimmy patted his back again and said in Korean: - Good, good! I am sorry, do you know a bit of Korean? - Not really. - It means “good”, said Jimmy. The American: - But I could need it for my job, depending if we decide to move forward in Seoul.” He took a sip of his drink – Maybe we can talk more, in Korean?” Jimmy looked dubious: - I like speaking in english, what I was saying is, you could find a girl easily here, and she could teach you Korean, cook, and do many nice things for you. I would love to meet her.

The American really considered the question, even though he answered briefly at first: - I am not looking for a girlfriend, here in Korea.

- Why not? Asked Jimmy back.

The fruit of the American thoughts then shined: - I feel like my life has been a constant state of looking for something, something that would fill my solitude maybe, a strong dream, or a great partner. And trust me I tried, I am not shy, I approached many women that I liked...”

- Girls? Interrupted him the Korean. - Women, girls, you understand? - Oh yes, yes, keep going.

- Point is all of that never gave me what I was looking for, now I don’t want to look for anything. I want to take things as they come, I feel like all the relationship I had I was forcing myself, because I felt like that was the good thing to do, but there is a difference among good effort and bad expectations.

Jimmy, the Korean guy, looked a bit sleepy, but still managed to say: - That is... Important. I understand you better now. But do you like... Korean girls? Be honest.

- Yes, answered the American, clearly yes. I was the one that volunteer to come for this trip. This is my first time in Seoul, and I really like what I am seeing so far. I just wish to find a bit more than what my life has been until now. Some new experience, I guess.

Jimmy had a brilliance on his eyes, he asked: - Do you like K-pop?

- I’ve listened to some songs, it’s not bad.” Jimmy was pushing him to say more with his eyes: - Yes, yes, I like it.

- What about the girls of K-pop? Do you like them?

- Sure, I like them.

Jimmy had been playing with his phone for a while. - Can I, I mean do you, want to see... something?

- Of course, answered the American, where?

- Just here, on my phone.

Jimmy took the time to browse through his phone, shielding it from the young American eyes. He then got something ready and asked: -Ready?

- Ready.

Jimmy had placed the phone in front of them, near the table, with its back visible. He flipped it to display a picture. A girl with enormous black hair, could have been a wig, eyes closed, was photographed from top down inside of what could have been an apartment. The American immediately recognized her. She was Karina from Aespa, a top of the top star from the contemporary K-pop world. He had partially lied, he actually knew K-pop more than he liked to admit. Not that it mattered that much, since Karina’s face was impossible to forget. Exceptionally gorgeous, small, and delicate. But nothing was delicate about her expression in this particular photo. The face of Karina, which fans had photographed countless times, was covered in thick splashes of sparkling cum.

Jimmy left the picture up only for a couple of seconds, but it was enough. After he pulled his phone away nobody spoke for a few seconds.

- Is she...? Started the American. -Yes, Karina. Answered Jimmy. - Was it you? - No. - Then, how did you...

Jimmy smiled: - I can tell you more, but... Maybe you should pay me something? I have to trust you with this. Not that anybody would believe you anyway.

The American wasn’t even sure that the photo was real, but it surely looked like it. - How much?

- Mmmhh, fifty?

That’s cheap, he thought: - All right, you got it.” He grabbed his wallet: - What is this? I thought idols were not even allowed to date.

- You should order another round of drinks first, this could become a bit... hot.

The drinks arrived, the American payed, and then Jimmy started to talk.

[rebeliz7]

Ride

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Request: 28, 37 & 64 with Wan? R is in love with Wanda but Wanda is between R and Vision and every time R tries to talk to her about it Wanda just gives excuses and R feels like Wanda just like her for the sex but Wan realizes she's in love too.

Word Count: 2815

28. “I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore.”

37. “You’re n-not ,um, w-wearing anything under that, are you..?”

…

Vision is - a good guy. He’s the kind of guy that any woman could date and be certain that he’d never hurt them. He’s reliable and polite, and nice to talk to. He’s a good friend, and even a better partner to have in the field. 

He’s been in love with Wanda for the entirety of his existence. You don’t think he even knew what love was when he fell for her, and still. 

They make a good looking couple, and Wanda seems to fit in his arms. Especially when they’re dancing like they’re currently doing. 

There’s a part of you that wants to desperately go over there and ask him to remove his hands from Wanda’s waist, but she’s not your girlfriend and you’re not generally a jealous person. 

Still, jealousy beats underneath your skin and you don’t like it. You don’t like it at all. 

Before Wanda, and before you got tangled in this situation, you used to despise jealous people and the feeling as a whole. You didn’t quite understand it either, and you often thought that jealousy was just a response to insecurity. 

There is no room for insecurities with Wanda, you know exactly where you’re standing with her. You two are not in a relationship, and you hate to feel possessive of her but you also can’t help it. Just looking at Vision touching her, as innocent as he does now -as he always does-, is enough to drive you mad. 

You turn in your seat, trying to spare yourself from the visuals any longer.

Usually you’d be enjoying a night like tonight. You like to dress up, put on some make up, do you hair and pick a nice outfit to wear. You should be mingling, trying to befriend whatever new person Tony is trying to impress, because that’s what these little parties serve for after all. 

Tonight you sit by the bar by yourself, nursing a drink and although dressed to the nines, you don’t feel like talking to anyone. 

“Can I get some water?” You haven’t even noticed the music changing, even less so Wanda approaching the bar. 

She looks radiant, of course. Her cheeks are flushed the slightest bit, you guess from all that dancing, and she’s smiling widely when she meets your eyes and you’re pulled into her orb immediately. 

“Hi.” You smile and her smile twists into something else, something more meaningful and private. 

“Hi.” She husks out, her voice dropping lower as she walks closer to you and takes the glass of whiskey from your hands to take a drink, her eyes never leaving yours. 

“Thirsty?” You ask as she gently gives the glass back and takes a discrete step backwards. 

She very openly checks you out, her eyes traveling from your face and taking every inch of you where you sit before she meets your stare again. You don’t shy away from her, but you do have - other reactions. 

“Very.” She nods with a sly grin that does inexplicable things to you. 

You breathe in deeply, perhaps in a weak attempt to get a grip of yourself, and you take the opportunity to really look at her too. 

She’s wearing a casual loose black mini dress that looks ridiculously good on her, and that does nothing to conceal the curves you know are under it. Her high heels make her legs look longer than usual, and her hair is down in soft meticulous waves that mixed with that smile, give her an angelic yet sensual appearance altogether. 

“You look amazing.” You smile when you meet her eyes, and she raises an eyebrow in amusement. 

“I feel like you’re talking to my legs.” She says with humor, and you become incredibly desperate to kiss that smile off her lips. 

“Well, obviously.” You reach out as she laughs and you take her hand to pull her closer to you. She wraps one arm around your shoulders and even kisses your cheek, all normal things that can be taken as two friends interacting and nothing more. 

“You look really hot with this.” She whispers, close to your ear, and her hand running down the front of your blazer. 

You swallow with difficulty as she steps backwards again, this time to take the water the waiter has finally brought her. 

She drinks her water and you become entranced with the movement of her throat, and the way her lips stay wet after she puts the glass down. 

Your stomach begins to ache when you can’t control the desire you feel for her, and all that ache slowly travels southwards and you don’t think you can wait another minute to have her. 

“Come on.” You take her hand and you don’t wait to hear an answer, although she’s laughing as she practically jogs behind you to keep up as you pull her out of the suite and towards the elevators. 

The moment the doors of the elevator slide closed you’re kissing her. She’s about to tell you something when you do, and you catch her open mouth in a delicious and drowning kiss. 

She moans softly as she wraps her arms around your shoulders, and you push her against the metal wall. 

You kiss her fully, your hands on her waist as the taste of her cherry lip gloss invades your senses. Even more so when you let your hands travel further down her body and you don’t feel any other fabric under her dress. 

“You’re n-not ,um, w-wearing anything under this, are you..?” You ask against her lips, your throat now dry while you think about her walking and dancing all night long like this. 

“Why don’t you find out.” She husks, her lips gracing yours as she speaks and you feel your knees go weak. 

You swallow with difficulty as your brain short circuits. Your stomach is tied in knots and you’re pretty sure that you’ve never felt as turned on as you feel right now. 

“We need to get to my room.” You tell her with urgency, and she smiles provocatively. 

“You’re taking me to bed?” She asks with an innocent smile that doesn’t fool you at all. 

“Who said anything about a bed?” You retort as you run your hands down her legs, scratching her skin lightly as she combs your hair back with her fingers and you kiss her again. 

You kiss her until the doors slide open, and she’s pushing you lightly with a beautiful smile on her raw kissed lips.

…

You remove her dress as soon as your bedroom door falls shut behind you, and she laughs at your impatience. You, on the other hand, are not laughing at all because she hasn’t been wearing a thing beneath that dress and the realization makes your skin prickle. 

“You’re such a bad girl.” You tell her as you guide her towards your bed. 

“Only because I know you love it.” She teases you, licking your lips and your jaw before she steps backwards and lays on your bed willingly. “Well? Are you gonna make me beg?”

You stare at her and you can’t believe her audacity. A few minutes ago she was dancing with a man who she knows is in love with her, and now she’s here, wet and ready for you to do whatever you want with her. 

You don’t make her beg. You could never. No, you live to give her whatever she wants. You yearn to make her cum as many times as she can resist. 

Your face between her legs and your lips wrapped around her clit, you have the pleasure of making her cum and hearing her moan your name, over and over again. 

While she catches her breath you get rid of your clothes, and then you immediately lay on top of her, wanting to feel her body against yours and desperate for a little release yourself. 

“Baby.” She whispers against your ear as she wraps you in her arms, and accommodates your thigh between her legs while pushing hers against your wet heat. “You’re so wet. I love it.” 

Her easy laughter makes your chest flutter, and you kiss her cheek as you try to find a rhythm with your hips. 

“Of course you do.” You smile and she gasps when you push your hips particularly hard. 

“I want to taste you.” She rolls on top of you, and kisses you needly before she kisses down your body wantonly. 

She doesn’t make you beg either, and the visual of her between your thighs, eyes locked with yours as she eats you out without holding back in the slightest, is enough to push you towards the edge. 

You’re laughing when you come back to your senses, and she’s already peppering your face with sweet kisses and a wide grin on her lips. 

“Wanna put on the strap for me?” She asks mischievously, biting her bottom lip as she waits for an answer. 

“What are you thinking?” You ask as you roll the two of you in bed again. Your lips kissing her cheeks, her jaw, her lips.

“I’m thinking - ” she cups your face, a devilish smile on her lips. “You look really well under me and I really want to ride you.”

You swallow thickly, and the next second you’re promptly getting the strap. 

The process of getting it on catches you both in a fit of laughter, but is comfortable and familiar, and you’re caught thinking that you’ve never had this feeling of belonging with anyone before. 

“Lay down and do nothing.” She instructs you when you’re ready, and you swiftly follow her orders.

You watch her take the toy in her hands as she sits on her heels beside you, that smile never leaving her lips as she strokes the fake dick and sends shots of pleasure directly to your clit each time she moves. 

“You want me to suck you?” She asks and you laugh as she moves to sit on your thighs, her hands never stilling. 

“I kinda do.” You nod and she leans forward to plant a sweet kiss on your lips before she crawls down the bed. 

To say that watching her give you a blowjob is the most bizarre thing you’ve ever seen, would be a poor understatement. Not that you don’t use the strap often, you do, whenever you feel like it. But she’s never offered to suck you before, and you think you might have been missing out. 

There’s something about her and her lips as she bobs her head up and down, her eyes never leaving yours as she struggles to breathe and stubbornly wanting to take the whole thing in her mouth at once. 

But there’s a moment when she comes out for air and she looks at you, and you think you can’t wait another second before you’re inside of her, and she seems to have the same thought. 

Grabbing her hand you pull her up and kiss her messily, and almost desperately. She moves to straddle you and you both work on lining the toy with her entrance before she sinks down on it with a heavy sigh and trembling body. 

For a few seconds she just sits there, and you try to stay still. Her head is thrown back, her hands squeezing your thighs behind her as she swallows and breathes in and out. 

You watch her and you know you want her. You want her for good, for yourself and you need to tell her that. 

When she finally moves her hips and her eyes meet yours again, you know you love her and you think she might love you too. 

She wasn’t kidding when she said she wanted to ride you. She does that enthusiastically for a little while, and when you grab her and roll on top of her, she moans out your name in the most delightful way. 

Her nails are digging on your back as you thrust your hips and fuck her against your mattress as hard as you possible can. 

And when she cums, a tidal wave of pleasure showers you as well, and you cum along with her. 

“I want you.” You tell her as you look up, the toy still buried in her. 

“Again?” She asks breathlessly and amusedly.

“I want you, Wanda. I want to be with you, and I want to be the only person in your life.” You tell her and her smile drops. 

“Let’s not do this tonight, please.” She seems to beg, her hands on your face now, trying to placate you like she’s done many times before. 

“I love you, and I want more than this. I deserve more than this.”

She looks away, still trying to catch her breath and pushes you off of her to be able to get out of bed. 

For a moment all you can feel is rejection, but you take a deep breath as she hurries to grab her dress from the floor and you get up too. 

You throw the damn strap away and you pick up a long shirt and put it on, if only to maintain some sort of dignity in the upcoming exchange. 

“Don’t you dare to leave like this.” You tell her when you see her grabbing her heels and heading for the door.

“What do you want me to say?” She asks you and you walk closer to her. Her hair is a mess, her makeup is smudged and if she walks out right now you have no doubt that anyone who sees her will know what she was just doing. 

“Anything.” You shrug and you see tears gathering in her eyes. “But you can’t just walk away after I told you I love you for the very first time.”

“I really don’t want to ruin this.” She tells you, and her words confuse you.

“How would you ruin this?”

“I always ruin what I love.” She says and you take her hands, letting her heels fall on the ground. 

There it is. 

“That won’t happen with us.” You assure her gently. “You’re my favorite person, and I love you.”

She chuckles when you say that and you go back to feel light, in a way. 

“And I want to be with you. For real this time. Don’t get me wrong, I love the sex. We’re very good at having it, but I want more and something tells me that you do too.”

She doesn’t say anything for a beat, and that’s how you know you’ve hit a point. 

“We will fight.” She argues weakly, and you peck her lips. “We will yell.”

“And then we’ll have make up sex. That’s like, the best sex out there.” You counter, and she laughs. “You love me?” 

“I do.” She nods, her voice soft and honest. She kisses you this time and even presses herself closer to you, so much so that you can feel her heart beating against your own chest. 

“Then no more excuses. We can do this.” You smile and kiss her again. She smiles, her hands on your face as she nods. 

“I’ll have to talk to Vision.” She realizes and you kiss her again. 

“So that’s that?” You ask with a smile. “We’re together now?”

“We are.” She nods and you pick her up and twirl her twice. You’re both laughing when her feet touch the ground again, and things seem to fall back into place. You’re you again.  

“Let him down gently.” You suggest and she takes a deep breath before taking off her dress one more time, and heading straight to your closet and then your bed. 

She’s familiar with your room, she knows where everything is, and she’s stopped asking to borrow your clothes a while ago. You watch her put on some shorts before she looks at you again. 

“I will. He’s such a nice guy.” She says as she throws your comforter to the ground, and you take a clean one from the closet. 

“He really is.” You agree, as you both get under the new comforter. 

“Are we bad people?” 

“Maybe.”

You’ll think about that in the morning, right now you want nothing more than to cuddle your new girlfriend and have a good night’s sleep. 

… 

[mellifiedprincess]

REALLY SHORT BUT SAPPY SHIT! and boob talk for like 2 seconds.

Opening the door to the house you share with the boys, you immediately take notice of the lack of noise that usually takes place.

You can’t say you’re not a little bit grateful, especially after working a 12 hour shift as a peds nurse. It was not a good day to say the least. All you wanted in that very moment was a hot shower and to be wrapped up in the arms of your ridiculously handsome boyfriend.

Closing the door to the garage, you walk over to Chris’s door and softly knock waiting to hear a response. “Yeah?” You peek your head in and see the boy at his desk, headset on and eyes focused on the monitor in front of him. “Oh, hey Y/N/N- Yeah, she just walked in.” Chris replies to you and then who you assume to be Matt through the headset. “Hey Chrissy, just checking in before I head upstairs. You okay?” This was part of your nightly routine. You couldn’t really remember when it started, but you always had to check on Chris and Nick before going to bed. Otherwise you couldn’t sleep.

“Yeah, I’m good. Matt’s yelling in my ear right now asking for you to hurry up. Kids acting like you just got back from war.” You let out a soft laugh at his remark. “I need to check on Nick, then I’ll be in there.” “Oh Nicks gone. He went to hang out with Larray and Arrington.”

“Alright. Well, try to get some sleep. You guys have that really important meeting tomorrow morning.”

“Oh shit! I totally forgot about that. Thanks.” You nod your head and you both say goodnight, before you turn and finally make your way to your bedroom.

When you open the door, your eyes find Matt’s already staring at you. He looks so…soft. Soft and warm and inviting. “Finally!” He huffs out. You can’t help but laugh at him as you walk over to where he sits at his desk. “I missed you so much today.” His voice is muffled by his face being smushed into your stomach, his arms tightly wrapped around you as if you were gonna leave him.

“I missed you too angel.” Your fingers push his hair away from his forehead, and you lean down to place a gentle kiss to his hairline. “I do need to shower though, and then I’m all yours.” A very audible whine leaves his mouth and he pulls you down into his lap, and immediately shoves his face into your neck.

“Can’t you shower in the morning? I wanna keep holding you.”

You’re convinced your heart just melted in your chest from how sweet your boyfriend is. “How about you come sit in the bathroom while I shower? You can tell me about your day.”

“Okay!” He jumps up at that and your eyes widen at the sudden movement. “Jeez Matty, warn me next time.”

“I’m just really excited to see your boobs.” That comment earns him a slap against his chest and an eye roll.

“You act like you don’t see them whenever you want, kid.” “I could have 24/7 visual of those things and it still wouldn’t be enough. Same thing with that pretty face of yours.”

You would never understand how he could be so sweet, yet disgusting at the same time.

You make it to the bathroom, and Matt places you back down on the floor before walking over to the shower to start the water for you. “I’ll be right back, baby.” He places a quick kiss to your lips and exits the bathroom.

When he returns, he’s holding a pair of fresh love sweatpants, clean underwear, and an old t-shirt of his that you stole and claimed as yours a long time ago. “Ughh I love you!” You can’t help but exclaim before pulling him closer to plant another quick kiss to his lips. “I love you way more though. No argument there.”

And Matt really believed that.

The love he felt for you was soul consuming. It was overwhelming in the best way possible.

“That’s not fair. I love you just as much as you love me! You’re the sun in my freaking sky Matthew.” You pout. Pout. And Matt can’t help but gush at how fucking cute you are.

He looks down at you, your arms wrapped around his waist, and he swears to himself that he would be the sun in your sky for the rest of your lives. And he knew what you meant by that, but being the sun in someone’s sky is nothing compared to being someone’s moon.

And you were his moon. Full of love and hope. The most nurturing person he knew, always taking care of others before yourself, especially him and his brothers. And you were always so calm, which helped a lot when he was on the verge of a panic attack.

“Okay, sweet girl. Let’s get you in the shower so we can go to bed. I know you’re probably exhausted.” He softly pats your hip, and moves so you can get undressed and finally shower.

Later that night when you finally retreat to bed, your head lies on Matt’s chest, sleep calling your name so softly you can barely keep your eyes open. Matt just watches you. He watches as your chest slowly rises and falls, and your breathing slows. He watches as you curl into his side even more. But he knew you weren’t quite asleep yet, because this man knew every minor detail about you.

So, when you reach for his hand and bring it to your lips before squeezing it against your chest, where it would stay for the rest of the night, he knew you were finally asleep.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Hey I saw you talk about comprehensible input for Spanish, and you said it was easy and it seems effective. I'm learning German, and I wanna ask what comprehensible input is and how I could do some of that

Comprehensible input means watching or listening to stuff in the language where you understand 90% or more of what’s going on. If you’re reading it’s more like 98%. Early on this usually means either watching stuff for babies or watching stuff made for adult learners if that exists. Watching stuff for adult learners is generally better because it works better if you’re interested in what’s going on. Once easier stuff is too boring for you then you move on to slightly harder stuff etc etc. it’s supposed to take about a thousand hours of good quality input for you to be able to understand native speakers with no issues give or take depending on your native language and the language you’re studying. Right now I’m at like 50-ish hours in Spanish which means I’m watching slightly harder videos that still have a lot of visual cues but it’s not piss easy either. I can also understand most quick things I overhear people say on the street to each other but I don’t really know how to talk yet. My brain hasn’t pieced that part together.

For German specifically resources for this are YouTube channels like Comprehensible German and Natürlich German. And Deutsch Welle’s learn German section of their website has a couple series like Nico’s Weg that follow a similar idea.

The key is to not translate in your head or assign meaning to specific words or try to figure out the grammar when you watch videos or read but just try to understand what’s going on.

Some people supplement this with flash cards strictly doing vocabulary and no grammar. Especially if good comprehensible input resources aren’t available for the language you’re studying. Doing vocabulary drills and watching tv with subtitles in the language you’re learning can also be effective.

Another way to do this if you can’t afford a special class or there’s no good videos available but you do have native speakers on hand who are willing to be a “language parent” for you is for them to sit down with you and only teach you the words for yes and no and then they pick up something like a kids picture book and start pointing at things and slowly explaining it to you and asking you questions like you’re a baby for an hour or two every day. Most people do not have a native speaker on hand willing to do this though. But if you do then this video where a guy documents learning Arabic with this method should give both you and the native speaker an idea of how this works.

If you want resources googling “comprehensible input (language)” should get you started. There’s also a lot of different communities for language learners of different languages or language learning generally on Reddit like r/French, r/Portuguese, r/swahili or r/languagelearning for example. Most of those places have a dedicated page for compiling resources from the community and you can also ask questions to the community and in my experience they’re usually pretty helpful people.

Right now I’m mostly using Dreaming Spanish for Spanish but also other channels like Easy Spanish and Español con Juan. I’m also dabbling a bit in the channels Comprehendible Japanese and Nihongo-Learning for Japanese but Spanish is my main priority right now.

[weeb-polls-with-pip]

Morally Questionable Anime Milfs Submission Form

No mommy's perfect.

Welcome to the morally questionable anime milfs competition, where we pit hot moms who have made controversial choices against one another.

Fictional characters only please.

The term ‘anime’ is used loosely for simplicity’s sake. Manga, visual novels, manhua, manhwa, donghua, etc. are also allowed. If you have a question about a specific character, just ask. Or go ahead and submit them anyway, and if I don’t feel they fit, I just won’t include them.

Y'all know what milf means. I don't think I need to explain that one. Do feel free to tell me about your milf's sexiest qualities though.

Not limited to biological mothers—as long as the character fills a maternal role, it's fine.

This is NOT the place to submit outright abusive mothers (towards children, at least). The mom must genuinely care about their kid(s)/charge(s) and be someone who is not intentionally malicious. I would say it is alright to submit a 'bad mom with good intentions' who is trying their best, but still messing up, or a character that is a very good mother, but who's moral ambiguity arises from reasons Beyond their parenting. Example being the 'villain who's an excellent parent' trope. Just explain your reasoning to me, and I'll use my own discretion if I feel the character crosses a line.

I have not yet decided the bracket size, and will do so once I see the final submission count.

Some level of horniness in the propaganda is expected, but I will urge you guys try and keep things at a PG-13 level. Here's everyone's advisory notice now: Don't follow this particular competition if this type of content makes you uncomfortable.

Poll propaganda can be submitted through the ask box, replied directly on poll posts, or made as separate posts and then tagged with the blog name. Just be sure to keep things civil.

I'll keep the form open until June 15th. Have at it!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I must say: I’m genuinely impressed by how creative all your stories are. I have three questions related to your writing process, if you don’t mind.

1) How do you stay motivated to keep creating?

2) Where do you find inspiration?

3) have you ever had an idea for a scene that you struggled to execute? How did you work through that to write the scene?

I love your stories! I look forward to every chapter of Charlie McNamara.

1) Motivation to create has never been an issue for me -- there's always some new thing to write about! My issue, and the issue faced by a lot of other writers, is the motivation to stick with a project to completion. That's hard. Everyone's got a hundred "works in progress" they'll never touch again because they took a break and when they came back, their attention was on something new and shiny.

My solution to this? Money.

The reason I started Curse Words as a web serial and opened a patreon for it wasn't because I ever expected to be able to make a living as a writer. I'm as surprised as anyone that so many kind people have put their support behind me and let me keep writing these fucked up stories instead of getting a real job. I did it because I wasn't getting my projects finished. I was doing what we all do; getting three quarters of the way through any given project and then finding something more fun to work on instead. And when you risk disappointing readers by doing that, well, that'll get you back in the seat over the little bumps, maybe pull you back to a project a few times. But when people are paying you actual cash in return for consistent output, on time, to story completion? That's a way bigger motivator. Even if it's just one guy. For a long time, I had one patron! It was enough! It worked! It's not about making a lot of money, which is borderline impossible as a writer (again, I still can't believe my supporters are so generous enough that i can make this my career). But it acts as some level of both proof that your work is valued, and an active obligation on your part to keep producing it on a consistent schedule. My readers are giving me something valuable for this. I can't let them down.

Sorry, I'm sure you wanted a more uplifting kind of answer. But that's just what works for me.

2) I've never really been sure how to take this question. This is basically the age-old 'where do you get your ideas?' and it... doesn't have an answer. You think of a thing and you write about it. As you resolve the problems and inconsistencies in the thing, that fills out more and more of the world of the story.

Angel is born of a mediocre Goosebumps book called Chicken, Chicken. There's a part in the book where the protagonist, slowly shapeshifting into a chicken, rips all his feathers out every morning in an attempt to slow the transformation. The book isn't really about that but it stuck with me for a good two decades until, stuck in the house for two months at the beginning of Covid, I wrote Angel.

Void Princess and The princess in the Tower are both me musing on the old 'princess kidnapped by a dragon' trope. I get really fixated on this trope for some reason; I have four or five others swimming about in my head that aren't full stories ready for the page yet. Wasting Time is just the song Pushin' the Speed of Light, World Builder was written in a fever right after watching Jacob Geller's The Shape of Infinity, Copykate was initially going to be a SAYER fanfic but required enough alterations to the setting that it worked better as a story of its own. The inspiration is out there, the ideas are out there. It's just a matter of practice to turn them into stories.

3) I try to avoid scenes that are hard for me to depict, but this isn't always possible. I'm aphantasiac and struggle a lot with scenes that have a lot of heavy visual elements. Scenes where there's a lot going on that needs to be fairly precisely depicted are tricky, too.

One particularly difficult scene for me was a fight scene in Time to Orbit: Unknown. There's about six people in a small room fighting over the fate of a bunch of other people who are not present, and the reader needs to be kept up to date on the physical positions/activity/intentions of all the combatants, the villain explaining what he's doing and why (lying), the protagonist figuring out that he's lying, the physical condition (injuries, being restrained, et cetera) of all of the combatants, and the fate of the half of the crew not in the room, all with enough detail that the reader can understand the stakes, consequences, and enough of the moment-to-moment logic of the fight that nobody's decisions are confusing. The whole thing is very fast paced and... it's a lot. It's always a difficult balance in these scenes because you want to be detailed enough to keep the reader following everything they want to follow, but you don't want to dramatically slow down the story by describing every detail. If you're using a limited viewpoint, it's a blessing and a curse; you can avoid narrating the stuff your character can't see or isn't paying attention to, but you also have to find a way to get across information that your character might not be able to see, either by forcing them to see it or by having it conveyed in some other way in the scene. With busy scenes like this, I like to work backwards -- decide what specifically the reader needs to know, decide what is needed to get the characters to the places I want them at the end of the scene, and write a scene with as little as possible in it except for those two things. Sometimes, communicating those two things requires a bit of setup.

In Curse Words, there's an ancient magic spell passed down a family line from parent to child. It's a communication spell that allows people to see through each others' eyes and hear through their ears. Before the existence of long-distance wireless communications, this sort of information transfer was enormously powerful; wars can be turned with that power, trade networks created or conquered. It made its family enormously powerful, to the point where they're the most powerful magical family in the world even in the time of the story, with the spell long buried and its advantage lost to an age of mobile phones and cameras. It's massively influential to the worldbuilding of the story.

I introduced it for one reason and one reason alone -- I knew that eventually, I would be writing a climax to the story where a lot of people were doing a lot of things in a lot of different locations, and the protagonist was only going to be in one of those places. And I knew that I was going to need some way to tell the audience what the fuck was happening while he was running around in caves and shit.

[neptunes-sol-angel]

Pick the picture(s) that you're drawn to the most, then scroll down for its corresponding message for insight on what's next for you in love.

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Pile One ♡

I strongly feel that most people in this pile would be considered as someone who is inexperienced in love, maybe you guys are bookworms, maladaptive daydreamers, and writers yourselves when it comes to visualizing your future, different settings for how the world could be, and breathing life into the people that you haven’t gotten the chance or time to get to know yet. What’s next for you in love, is practice. You’re upgrading from being Bambi by becoming the Great Prince of the Forest by taking risks before you are able to know and find what is right for you. Some of you may believe in holding yourself tightly before you meet “the one” but the message is that you are being unfair to yourself by putting your life on hold to revolve it around someone who is also learning too, but isn’t waiting like you are doing. This doesn’t mean to be reckless or to feel coerced into going along with people you don’t have a good feeling about just for the sake of finally being in a relationship. This stage is about exploration and enjoying yourself before you meet your life partner. If you resonate with being a bookworm, you could be the type to read romantic fictional stories on a platform like wattpad, and while it serves its purpose which is to make you feel good, it could create an irregular perception of love for you, like subconsciously romanticizing traits that are toxic or wouldn’t be something that you would actually like if you were to actually experience it. For some, it could be re-evaluating your attraction to individuals, like when you crush on someone, you could find that they really look good, but do you yearn for more from them? Your path in love could be redirecting you to pay attention to how a person makes you feel than what you get from them on a surface level of interaction.

Pile Two ♡

There was someone in your life that you once felt like you couldn’t live without or took something from you that seemed irretrievable, but you’re being blessed in a way that’s shutting all of those lies down. You’re getting you back, in whichever way that it applies. This could be your motivation to take care of yourself, to do things that made you feel happy and at peace before this dwindle ending happened, like going to the gym, arts & craft, writing, solo trips or going out with friends, and even something simple as such as looking good for yourself, but it’s not limited to what was mentioned. This could even look like getting closer to who your deity or deities and spiritual maintenance. The best way that I can describe this, is that this phase in love is like this big circle of energy, stuff that was taken or borrowed from you, that’s being marinated before it is returned because it isn’t just aspects from the past, it’s also the time for creation. This whole entire time, your rain of tears that were collected from this heartbreak were observed yet not ignored, but transmuted into this empire that you’re building off of the corpses of failures that you’ve experienced with not just people but life circumstances, maybe when that break up happened it just seemed that more tragedies kept following you after that and it drove you into insanity like when does this pain ever end? Although you can’t forget about it, you’re learning how to soften from these things that stung you in the past, so that you can keep moving and consolidate your wishes. For some, this is personal, and an era that you’d like to be selfish with in order to see what else you can create, like developing a strong daily routine, starting that business, or maybe even working on yourself so that you can heal others, while the other side of this collective will open their hearts again to a new love which can be romance, friendship, or even adoption that is just as equally healing.

Pile Three ♡

The next thing in love for you is learning how to stop trying to win. I’m picking up multiple scenarios for this but the premise is that people in this pile are in love situations where there is no winner, and if there is, let the other person be the one to have it so that you can walk away and stop blocking yourself from better to come in. Some of you are in a long battle with a person by competing with them on who has the upperhand in the situationship, this involves the runner and chaser dynamic constantly reversing and both of you keeping tabs on each other when you’re supposed to be in no contact. The second scenario is sticking beside someone who has a wandering eye but trying relentlessly to get this person to choose you the way that you choose them. The third scenario is in general, trying to prove yourself in order to gain love from others by manipulating yourself and even them to win their affection. There is this storm brewing, you can even call this a tower moment, that could happen to finally get you to see the many ways that you are downplaying yourself with people who have stayed in your space and energy for far too long. You’re going to surrender from these situations to know what it means to pick yourself up and see how beautiful and worthy you are to the extent where you’ll be baffled by how much you’ve been settling for people who don’t deserve you. This phase will come with new connections, but what makes it different is realizing your authority in this by realizing how possible and freeing it is to choose people that choose you. Once you realize that you’re the prize in this game, let the winner take pride in being the fumbler, and be proud of yourself for not being the one to fumble you.

[cosmerelists]

My Top 10 Favorite Stormlight Fights...That DON'T Involve Kaladin

I wanted to do an overall “top fights” list but I found that were all, uh, just Kaladin. So Kaladin’s best fights will be saved for a future post, probably, but for now--let’s give some love for those epic fights that DON’T involve our most dramatic hero.

[SPOILERS FOR ALL OF STORMLIGHT ARCHIVES!]

10: Adolin (and Renarin!) vs. the Thunderclast [Oathbringer]

This one makes the Top 10 for me mostly because of how cool it must have been in theory...although tragically we never do actually get to see Renarin fight the Thunderclast. I mean, Adolin's part is still very cool--gotta love the one guy without Radiant powers nevertheless trying to fight a giant stone monster from ages past. And then Renarin comes and defeats it off-screen, and that is cool enough to make this list even though we don't see it.

#9: Moash vs. Leshwi [Oathbringer]

This is such a short fight, and it probably wouldn't make the Top 10 for most people...but I thought it was cool. We have Moash facing off against a Fused--one of the first Fused we ever see--with a Shardblade, only to realize that he can't beat her with that weapon, so he grabs a simple spear instead (my heart!). Then he gets lashed to the sky...but pulls her with him and stabs her in the chest. And so he kills her, and Lewshi being Leshwi, she's like, "Okay. You're legit and I like you." So kind of a cool character-building moment for both of them!

#8: Adolin & Dalinar & Elhokar vs. the Chasmfiend [Way of Kings]

This fight didn't do it for me one a first read, because frankly I didn't care that much about the Dalinar chapters in Book 1 because I was always waiting to get back to Kaladin. But upon a reread and a re-reread, I liked it much more! Like so many early fights in Way of Kings, it felt like a sort of tutorial for how the powers work, here focusing on how Shardblades and Chasmfiends Work. You get to see Adolin & Dalinar work well together despite their conflicts, and you get to see Elhokar being, well, Elhokar.

#7: Adolin’s Duels [Words of Radiance]

Except for the last one, to keep this ranking Kaladin-free! But Adolin's pre-Whitespine-Uncaged duels were also very legit. Adolin is a great swordsman, and that makes him fun to watch (well, read about). And I loved the way that he had a different way to mess with his opponent in every duel, from unhinged battery to slowly picking apart the other guy's armor. It's great to see someone good at dueling get to do what they're best at.

#6: Szeth vs. an entire party [Way of Kings]

I'm referring to when Szeth assassinated King Hanavanar of Jah Keved...while the guy was holding a big dinner party. And while this scene is a little painful to read, since Szeth slaughters everyone while crying, if memory serves, you gotta be a little impressed by the way Szeth is able to kill an entire room of people, many of whom are armed with Shardblades or half-shards. At one point he even tosses his sword away and goes hand-to-hand with people holding deadly weapons and just slaughters them all, no problem. That guy is frightening good at murder.

#5: Navani vs. Raboniel vs. Moash [Rhythm of War]

Some fights are cool because they involve visually stunning moves or epic swordplay. Some are cool because they rip my heart into a million pieces. This is one of the latter! Navani killing Raboniel is gut-wrenchingly tragic but also so cool (the Fused are impossible to kill and yet, Navani does it)...and then Moash shows up. The confrontation between Moash and Navani was an emotional beat I didn't know I needed until it was happening...and listen, I am SUCH a sucker for self-sacrifice. Raboniel grabbing Moash to let Navani escape, even after Navani killed her? I'll never be over it.

#4: Szeth vs. Gavilar [Way of Kings]

I mean, this one is a true classic. It's the first fight we see, and serves as a basic tutorial on how stormlight and Shardblades work. We have Szeth in the opening of Way of King, going to assassinate Gavilar. He lashes people and things left and right. He's on the ceiling and the walls. He's burning souls and cutting holes in the building. He's desperately fighting Gavilar in what is probably Gavilar's only cool scene in all of the books. It's just classic.

#3: Shallan vs. An Entire Army [Oathbringer]

I'm not sure this would make a "Top Fights" list for very many people, but it is one of my personal favorites. This refers to the Battle of Thaylen Field (yes, Kaladin is in the background but that doesn't count as involvement), when Shallan, Veil, & Radiant summon hordes of alters to distract the Odium-crazed army. Not only does she fend off an entire army single-handedly (holy shit, Shallan), but she does so despite the fact that it is her being killed over and over again in thousands of forms. The image of her, Radiant, and Veil holding hands as she struggles to stay conscious is incredibly powerful to me. And Jasnah goes to help! A+ fight.

#2: Adolin & Maya vs. the Tukari [Rhythm of War]

This is one of my all-time favorite fights. It takes place in Shadesmar, when Adolin runs to help Notum who is being stabbed and beaten by a group of Tukari, Not only is it a heroic fight against grossly mismatched odds, which I always love, but it also demonstrates the bond between Maya & Adolin. And when the two of them fight back to back using the kata... *chef's kiss*

#1: Dalinar vs. Odium [Oathbringer]

I'm aware that Kaladin is, like, in the background here, but the actual conflict between Dalinar & Odium does not involve him. And this isn't a physical fight--there's no clashing of Shardblades or running on the ceiling--but damn if this fight doesn't hit hard. Dalinar fights with a book and with his whole soul, and he refuses to give up his pain or to absolve himself of the guilt of what he's done. This might be one of the most powerful moments in any book, so it gets the top spot here!

What are your guys' favorite non-Kaladin fights? Let me know in the comments, if you want!

[chunksworld]

Grant Your Wish

 LE SSERAFIM Chaewon x Male Reader | (Tags: Smut) | needy!Chaewon

A/N 1: Finally got the chance to write my iz*one/le sserafim bias. Thank you @kaedespicelatte as always for proofreading and beta reading, this is dedicated to you and all of my fellow chaewon simps.

————————

“Manager-nim, don’t miss us too much okay? You still have Chaewon unnie to accompany you. Mwah!”

Before you could even respond, the rambunctious blonde blows you a kiss and already has one foot out the door with her luggage while the rest of the members follow her with their own. It’s only unfortunate that you couldn’t come with them knowing that they’re going to Jeju Island and a vacation is definitely what you need after a stressful past few months—you’ve also heard just how good the seafood is over there and you definitely wanted to try it yourself. But at least the girls get a well-deserved break, they truly have been working their tails off for their fans and it’s nice to see them get rewarded for it.

Work for you, however, continues as you’ve been assigned as Chaewon’s personal manager for the meantime—a two-week arrangement that certainly doesn’t bode well for you considering that you have such a huge crush on the group’s leader, her unreal visuals combined with her angelic vocals causing you to fall in love with her hard. You should be ecstatic that you’d get to spend plenty of alone time with her as a result but she’s the member that you interact with the least, focusing most of your time managing Yunjin instead. Plus, you don’t exactly have the confidence to just strike up a conversation so casually with her.

The challenge starts as soon as the members bid you farewell and the door is shut, leaving you on your own in this oasis known as their dorm. You’ve only stepped foot here once or twice (ten times if you count all of the instances that you’ve had to personally carry a drunk Yunjin home) and it only hits you now just how stunning the place is, the company clearly invested heavily on the group. The living room is as big as your studio apartment and filled with furniture that you know you’ll never be able to afford while the kitchen is filled with top-of-the-line appliances that chefs could only dream of. 

Sit on the couch and feel just how soft the fabric is, perfect to sleep on—you didn’t even need to bring your sleeping bag. But you didn’t want to move around too much, this is still their personal space and you are just a guest. A male guest, more specifically, and considering that they’re a girl group, they probably don’t have guys over their dorm that much (except for that one time Yunjin brought some random dude she met at a bar and you went to great lengths to make sure she didn’t get exposed). But you don’t know what else to do, Chaewon is probably sleeping in her room and management specified for you to never leave her side for “security purposes.” Since when does a grown person need babysitting? And why did she choose not to tag along with the rest of the girls?

But orders are orders, plus you’re getting paid to basically do nothing so you can’t exactly complain. Thankfully you brought your laptop with you so you can get some work done and watch some Netflix to pass time so these next two weeks should be a breeze, right? Maybe Chaewon will only leave her room for meals, maybe you won’t have any heart-racing interactions with her that will cause you to inevitably stutter and start fanboying like an idiot, maybe everything will go smo–

“Hey, manager-nim.”

A familiar soft, yet piercing voice breaks your train of thought and the aforementioned woman emerges from her bedroom looking oh-so-adorable in an oversized white shirt—the sight alone already has you malfunctioning internally. Fuck, she looks so cute. Even more so when she flashes you a smile and a wave as she walks over towards the couches and sits next to you. Your palms are starting to perspire and your heart is beating so quickly you might as well have just ran an entire marathon. You’ve already lost your composure and just like that, your plans are thrown out the window.

“H-Hey.”

Great. Now you can’t even utter such a simple word. It must be so obvious just how much you’re freaking out because she laughs hard and the way her eyes form crescents stirs butterflies in your stomach—or maybe that’s just hunger from not eating breakfast due to how much you were dreading this day. 

“Yah, why are you so nervous? It’s not like I bite or anything.”

“R-Right, sorry.” A sheepish smile. How are you supposed to tell her how infatuated you are with her and how such a simple task as striking up a conversation is harder than all of the exams you took in high school?

“Come on! We’ve known each other for over a year now, and yet you still act like I’m a stranger?”

Right. You still couldn’t believe your eyes when she walked through the doors of the company, you only heard the rumors swirling around but you refused to believe any of it; more so when you were told that you were going to manage her group. When that fateful day finally came, it was like your birthday and Christmas combined into one. Forget studying to be a doctor or an engineer, you consider becoming a manager of her group an achievement that can’t be matched by anything.

“And we’re even the same age! That’s pretty insulting to a woman, you know.” A fine woman, at that

You try to come up with something, anything but you’re scrambling like a deer in the headlights and your vocabulary has been reduced to only saying: “I-I’m sorry.”

“I’ll be hurt if you keep apologizing.” She playfully pouts, though you can see how there’s some truth to the words she’s saying and it’s enough to finally get you to your senses. She’s right. You’re a professional and it’s time to act as such; this is just a work assignment and nothing else. So what if you have a painfully huge crush on her?

With that renewed mindset, you straighten your posture and begin to relax though giving her a direct look in those captivating eyes still manages to fluster you—but given how absolutely stunning she is, who wouldn’t be? “Fine. No more apologies, okay? I’ll do better from now on.”

“There you go. It’s just gonna be the two of us for some time, so lighten up!” You miss the way her cheeks redden at her own statement because you’re too caught up at the thoughts that came up in your head at such implications.

Fortunately, everything was peaceful after that. Chaewon wanted to catch up on some movies and that’s exactly what she did, not before begging you to go to the convenience store with her to buy some snacks. For once, it felt nice not losing your mind every time you were in close proximity with her. You don’t miss the way she would sneakily initiate skinship by either casually brushing her hand against yours and leaning ever so closely but you ignore it.

It was only inevitable that she’d be tired after the third movie; you were surprised that she even managed to stay awake for so long because you were definitely drifting in and out of sleep after the second one—you still haven’t fixed your sleep schedule after all. It was already pretty dark outside and knowing Chaewon, her schedule is probably just as broken as yours. As the credits rolled, you yawned which caused her to do the same—fatigue settling in after such a long movie marathon.

“Looks like you didn’t get to watch any movies during promotion, huh?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m using up all of the opportunities now to do so.” She grabs a pillow and places it on her lap, a pout forming on her lips once again at the thought. “We’re gonna be busy next year preparing for our world tour so I won’t have any time again.”

“I can only imagine, being a leader must be stressful and time-consuming so I’m glad you’re getting some time off.” You really are, which is why it baffles you even more that she decided to stay here in Seoul instead of going out on vacation with the rest of the members.

“Of course! You should know just how chaotic the rest of the girls are but I love them so I’m completely okay with it.” 

But as they say, curiosity kills the cat and you wouldn’t be able to stay put without ever finding out the reason. “By the way, why did you decide to stay home?” And you almost immediately regret asking her the question because of the smirk on her face.

“So I can do this.”

In a flash you feel Chaewon’s soft pair of lips mash with yours as she straddles your lap, allowing you to taste her strawberry lip balm. It only takes a quick second to realize that she’s not wearing any shorts underneath her shirt as you can feel a growing wetness on your crotch. Instinctively, you wrap your arms around her waist while her hands creep up underneath your shirt. It also only takes you a quick second to realize that none of this should be happening, though the growing bulge on your pants completely says otherwise.

You use your last ounce of professionalism to pull away from the liplock, every passing second withering it away. “C-Chaewon, wait!”

“I want you, manager-nim.” Her response is quick and firm, but even if she didn’t tell you anything you can see the burning passion in her eyes. She doesn’t let you respond as she engages into another kiss, this time it’s much more desperate and lustful as she swirls her tongue around yours. Feel her whimper and moan as she presses her body against yours—she must not be wearing any bra either because you can also feel her soft breasts through the cloth.

But this can’t happen; you’re a manager and she’s an idol—getting caught under such circumstances is almost certainly a death sentence in this harsh industry. If she doesn’t give you the opportunity to talk then you’ll have to do it yourself. You pull away from the kiss once again, though your male instincts wants to keep going. And just the thought of her choosing not to be with her members for this is causing your brain to go haywire. “Wait! We can’t do this!”

“Why not? No one is here.” Chaewon shrugs as if that was the overarching problem about this entire ordeal, her hands rest on your chest as she tries to catch her breath. Her eyes captivate you once again and seeing them up close is much better than any fancams or pictures taken by her dedicated fansites. You almost get lost in the vast ocean of her beautiful eyes but you try to remain firm. 

“That’s not the point!”

“And the point is what, exactly? Does it say in your contract that you can’t have sex with the talent, manager-nim?” She then grabs the hem of her oversized shirt and begins to pull it upwards gently, exposing more of her lovely thighs and her white laced panties. A soft moan from her as she can feel your length throb underneath her and she knows that she’s oh-so-close to convincing you.

You want to look away, you have to look away. As much as your dick is loving what is currently happening, you know what the consequences of engaging in such an act would be. But it’s hard to make a logical decision when all you can feel is her crotch grinding against your bulge as she slowly and painfully continues to pull her shirt upwards, revealing her tight tummy.

Unfortunately you can’t look away as her intense aura glues your eyes towards her heavenly body as she eventually reveals it to you, throwing the shirt somewhere in the living room. Your cock can’t stop twitching at the sight: small but perky breasts, well-defined abs, and shoulders so beautiful that you just want to leave hickeys all over them. Her body is even more perfect than you imagined and you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t have a wet dream (or two) about her. She smirks seeing you drool at her half-naked body and the alluring lip bite that she gives you is the nail in the coffin.

Fuck it, might as well grant her wish right? “N-No.”

“Exactly. It’s only a problem if you make it, manager-nim. No one has to know about this.” She urges you to take off your shirt and that piece of clothing is quickly discarded as she mashes her lips with yours, the lack of clothing making this liplock more intimate as you allow your hands to wander around her tanned skin, tracing her curves and every single defined muscle obtained from hours of dance practice. At this point you have conceded to her, the explosion of pleasure you’re currently receiving is too good and Chaewon is too resistible. “Plus, I’ve been dreaming about this for so long…”

Move your lips down towards her jawline and neck, leaving chaste kisses but careful not to leave a mark. The sultry and lewd moans she releases in your ear sends blood rushing through your length and you can feel more precum dripping out that your boxers are starting to become sticky. Meanwhile your hands continue to wander around her body, finding a resting place on her buttcheeks and giving them a gentle squeeze which emits a louder moan from her.

“Y-Yes, manager-nim…”

Leave more kisses down to her clavicles before your pair of lips latch on to her breasts, sucking and licking her left nipple while your free hand massages the other. She continues to moan desperately and the sound of your name leaving her lips in such a lustful manner is only causing your control to slip away every moment. You want to continue pleasuring her so you do the same to her right nipple, making sure that it receives an equal amount of pleasure. And you would gladly suckle on her breasts for hours but the growing patch of wetness on her panties is hard to ignore. Plus, you’re going to lose your mind if you have to spend another minute with your pants on.

Catch your breath as the session temporarily ends and she does the same, using it as an opportunity to remove herself off of your lap to take off her panties which reveals her pussy already glistening with her juices dripping down her meaty thighs—it’s starting to get painful just how erect your cock is at the moment and it’s obvious with the massive tent it’s pitching on your shorts. Thankfully she gives you a look urging you to remove your undergarments as well and you do exactly just that, your cock springing out of its prison and dripping with so much precum.

Now you are both completely naked but before you can truly appreciate the sight in front of you, Chaewon immediately lunges towards you again. You’d think a girl like her would be interested in some form of roleplay but she’s clearly needy as she straddles your lap and angles her hips so that her pussy sinks directly into your dick. It’s hard to concentrate on multiple things at once because she’s also continuing her assault to your lips, biting and licking your lower lip as she slowly engulfs your length in her pussy.

“A-Ah fuck! So–so fucking big!”

She’s so tight, much more than you expected due to her light body frame and you know it’s going to take a while for her to get used to it. The way she clenches on your length as she rides you leaves you a groaning and growling mess, much more so as her skin glistens due to sweat which makes her look even hotter in your eyes. You want to burn this image of Chaewon forever, your crush, pleasuring herself using your cock and how you’re continuing to leak precum which have probably stained her walls already.

As you bottom out, her nails clutch onto your shoulders tightly which will definitely leave marks but you don’t care about it right now. You wrap your arms around her waist to press her tight body against yours while you give her deep and passionate kisses, feeling her whimper in your mouth as she wraps her arms tightly around your neck. Due to how wet she is, you can hear squelching with every exit and entry of your cock and the sound only adds to the fire burning in your stomach.

“Fuck! Fuck! So fucking tight, Chae.”

And you’d gladly give her all the time in the world because just feeling her immaculate body on yours already makes this an experience that you’ll remember for the rest of your life. Chaewon alternates between grinding on your hips and slowly lifting her hips off your dick before sinking herself back down and the position directs her moans and hot breaths right into your ear. 

It took a few minutes but eventually she started to gain rhythm, her movement starting to resemble more like bouncing as opposed to just grinding. This was the sign that you needed to begin thrusting upwards, matching the pace of her bounce with the thrust of your cock inside her tight walls. Such actions only made her cries of pleasure even louder and you’re truly thankful that it’s only the two of you in the dorms because the sound of flesh on flesh and your combined moans and groans complete the hottest and dirtiest symphony ever created in this living room. “Kiss me as well, manager-nim!”

Chaewon doesn’t need to tell you because her addictive lips are making you just want to dive into them and after a particularly hard thrust, you initiate sloppy, wet kisses. Her succulent lips are truly a joy to taste and the way they mold perfectly with yours is only serving to grow the familiar tension in your stomach. Another hard thrust causes her to ragdoll in your arms, unfortunately ending the makeout session as her breaths become more hurried, moans turning into cries as her sweaty skin glides smoothly along yours.

“Shit! Oh god I’m so damn close, manager-nim. P-Please just keep pounding me like that.”

You want to test just how high her vocal range is so you begin to shift your cock inside her until your tip hits a soft bundle of nerves that causes her to let out her loudest scream of the night—such vocal range is what makes her such a great singer but tonight she showcases it in a dirtier and sexier way. 

“Manager-nim! Manager-nim! I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum all over your fucking cock. FUCK!”

Chaewon bites into your shoulder hard as her walls squeeze you so tight that you almost end up finishing alongside her. She uncontrollably shivers as she rests her head on your shoulder, panting heavily while she recuperates from the intensity of her orgasm. The amount of fluid that gushes out of her pussy is enough to completely stain your thighs and the couch below, the squelching sound with every slow thrust you make only adds to the dirty symphony you two are creating. You want to give her time to rest and recover but only mere seconds after, she’s already nibbling and kissing your ears while you leave more kisses all over her sweaty neck.

“Bedroom, please.” A whisper to your ears and you were not going to be told twice. With ease, you lift the petite woman off the couch, causing her to wrap her limbs tightly around you. You bounce her on your length a few more times which causes more moans to reverberate throughout the living room as you make your way to her room.

You turn on the lights and gently place Chaewon on the bed and she spreads her legs immediately, showing off her inner thighs that are completely drenched by her squirt and her pussy that’s continuing to pulsate. “I want your cum to fill me, manager-nim. Come ravage my tight pussy.”  A seductive look, then another lip bite which completely unshackles every single piece of professionalism that you’ve ever had—as if you still had some after what just happened minutes ago.

“Fuck!”

You harshly grab onto her waist to bring her closer to you while you hover over, easily sliding your length back to her pussy in one motion. With arms resting on either side of her head, you lean forward to kiss her as you start thrusting at a frantic pace—you were desperate to chase your own orgasm after her and you were going to make sure to fill her up like she wanted. Chaewon understands this as well as she wraps her legs around your waist while you continue to piston your cock into her pussy. The harsh thrusts unfortunately makes it difficult for your lips to remain attached to hers so you settle for her neck instead, nibbling on the soft and delicate skin while her sultry moans only brings you closer and closer to your peak.

“I’m gonna fill you so fucking much, Chae. That’s what you wanted, right? You want me to breed you?” 

A hurried nod is the only response you get from her, those velvety walls of hers that’s already had an orgasm are beginning to tighten again much like the familiar tension building up in your stomach. It only takes a few more sporadic thrusts before you completely erupt inside of her with a loud groan, almost mirroring her screams of pleasure from earlier. You've left hickeys on her neck that will definitely have to be covered as you reach your peak. Shot after shot of your hot sperm fills up her walls to and over the brim, flowing out of her pussy while a second, smaller orgasm overcomes her in the aftermath. It didn’t take too long considering you were holding yourself back for her and perhaps that just made your orgasm stronger.

“Oh god Chaewon, fuck. Shit. That was fucking hot.”

When you pull out, more seeds flow out of her used pussy while you lay down on the bed besides her—you’re still mind blown by the fact that you just had sex with your crush, who also happens to be a member of the group you manage and the implications of what just happened will absolutely hit you like a truck tomorrow morning. But you couldn’t care less at the moment as Chaewon gives you a tired smile, leaving one more kiss on your lips before the intense session instantly takes her to dreamland.

As if on cue, your phone’s notifications immediately start blowing up which almost makes you jump off the bed—who could be messaging you at this very hour? Carefully, you make your way back to the living room to grab your clothes and the device that’s continuing to make noise. Chaewon is already sleeping and the last thing you’d want to do is wake her up so you silence your phone only to be left surprised by the messages.

From: Yunjin

“Hi oppa! Did you like my new year’s gift? Hope you didn’t break her.”

What the fuck?

“You must be shocked, right? Don’t act like I didn’t see you drooling over unnie’s fancams~”

No way…

“I hope you used the condom I slipped in your pocket~”

You quickly grab your pants and fish through your back pockets and sure enough, the aluminum foil-wrapped piece of contraption is there. When did she…?

“Aigoo~ Sounds like you didn’t but it’s fine.”

You’re already panicking but her next message leaves you shell-shocked.

“Because you can use it on me when I get back.”

[knightyoomyoui]

Jihyo x M/F Reader - "Just A Feeling"

This book makes a return today! For this oneshot, I'm sorry if this one may be complicated to read since I didn't make any outline for it and kind of... weird to read too, especially for female readers out there. This one is actually intended to be only for male readers because I think the plot of this suits them better since the story came from my perspective as a guy and from a real-life experience I'm currently going through. Don't worry though, I still tried my best to make this applicable to everybody since I made some changes to make it gender neutral, plus there's opinions from some various featured female K-Pop idols as my characters that portray my real-life classmates here, which female readers might relate to. So yeah, basically what you're about to read here is based on a true story (except starting from the climax until the end, which I just made up from my imagination since I haven't confessed yet lol.) about my huge crush with this one genuine girl from our class. And oh, I've said it already that it's not gonna be a fluff right? It's not gonna be a tearjerker though but for the softies there, this might hurt. Don't worry though, I'm going to write a one-shot special on weekend that relies more on fluff. Finally saw something that inspired me to write, that's why. Heh.

I was eating in our cafeteria along with my circle of friends in our room, talking about—well, guess what—sex education. We were trying our best to remain open-minded about the topic. Honestly, I don’t even have any idea why we would insert this topic to arrange a conversation in the middle of the public.

I know that these things should be taken seriously because they provide knowledge on how to establish a healthy sexual life in the future, but I just couldn’t help but feel a bit ashamed. Well, I wouldn’t be if only these girls would just lower their mouths whenever they'd ask or mention a term, especially when it’s too silly to hear.

I was afraid that others might hear us and lose appetite because of what we were discussing. I already made my move, providing a question pertaining to my curiosity and thankfully they answered me with the expected answer I wanted to know. That’s why I moved my head and roamed my eyes around to distract myself away from them since I don’t really find their current discussion interesting to me.

Looking around, there are many students along with us doing their own business mindfully. Eating together or alone in their respective spots and typing on the computer or writing notes as they review for their subject while on a break. Each was from different courses and grade levels, and of course we wouldn’t be the exception.

Some of our classmates too were on the another table, with them being formed together into their own circle they belong in. That is, until my eyes landed on her again as I check upon them. The girl with sharp jawline, boyish wild haircut, adorable with a touch of chic aura in her visual, and those big eyes I couldn’t avoid but to get sucked in whenever I get to be in contact with those shimmering pairs of hers.

The name of the girl I’m describing with much creativity and detail is Park Jihyo. She’s currently one of our brightest students in our class. If I’ll compare myself to her, well my intelligence is pretty below average and subpar to her attributes.

Whenever I glanced at her, I couldn’t help but pause and take a short time to admire what my sight was displaying for me. Just like today, she has that serious expression that I find both intimidating and… hot? Yeah, yeah, fine, you got me. I do think of her sometimes as a dominant or possessive girlfriend who loves to claim and tease, and I do get a bit intense and aroused just by thinking about it, especially when it fits her a lot along with her lean figure.

Damn it, you wouldn’t blame me. She literally is the embodiment of a girl crush that others would kneel on their knees for her. I may have not saw somebody like that, but oh I can’t just deny those words I’ve heard from the girls and guys on my room simping for her.

Setting aside to those qualities, I’ll make it plain and simple that she’s that beautiful in my eyes. I don’t care if I’m falling in love to a boisterous and fiery tomboy like Jihyo. Deep inside of that cool and boyish appearance of hers, I couldn’t count how many times I’ve encountered that soft girly demeanor she was hiding. That time when she squealed and raised both her fists in the air while looking appalled as the volleyball almost hit her face during our class in physical education would be my favorite.

She smiled again and laughed at whatever they were talking about, which is effectively contagious. She has that much effect on me already. Whenever her mood is, will be the same as mine. Guess I could say that’s how I could tell that I’m highly attached on her now.

I was so busy complimenting and being in awe of her that I almost responded too late when I saw Jihyo start to move her eyes around, and she went in the direction I was in. Just a little angle she shifted, and she would’ve caught my eyes staring at her, looking like it was attempting to hallucinate and connect to mine too.

But I was too weak for that, as always. I’m always weak for her. I pretend I didn’t just went to their side and busy admiring her as I returned to my friend’s discussion while my peripheral vision has unknown whether she felt like someone was stalking at her or as usual, nothing.

2 days later, we were waiting for the Calculus class to end because our professor has left us for some numerous problems to solve on the board and use it as an advantage to increase our points in recitation. He definitely might’ve went again to the mall and go eat samgyupsal again with his officemates at the faculty room that’s why we know we already have the freedom to be noisy and indulge on those differential equation as much as we want.

Our professor is busy grilling meat and stuffing wagyu meat in his mouth while us as his students were busy grilling our minds and stuffing numbers across the board.

While I was confidently sitting on my chair just watching my classmates go berserk on dribbling equations of their own since I already had my turn to have a recitation point, my female classmate named Miyeon invited me for a chat with her because mainly she’s bored.

We did chatter for any laughable random topics for like 10 minutes until I heard her enter a question that had me locked in on my seat.

“Say, YN. I noticed that you had shared so many sad posts about romance these days on Facebook. Are you heartbroken?” She asked me.

“Uhh… that? W-well, I just like those kind of posts. Nothing much.” I smiled fakely at her.

“You sure?” She stared at me. I just nodded and awkwardly removed my gaze at her as I act like I was trying to keep myself busy on my notes.

“You have a crush on someone, don’t you?”

I slowly turned around and my stupid self chose to rose my brows making myself shocked rather than meeting itself and show some confusion. Now I’m busted.

“H-how can you say so?”

“Wouldn’t most of the people around social media does that whenever they admire somebody and they just left to be… unwanted back?” She shared. “I’ve been through that, that’s why I know.”

I remained silent as I sighed. I glanced at Jihyo again, she was being recorded now by one of our close friends in the room as she explains the solution she wrote on the board. That’s what our professor instructed us to do so that he can acknowledge our points, is to sent him our video that we’re tackling about the equation we answered.

“There is, huh.” She confirmed. I was being too obvious already so with defeat, I just let her expose me more. “She’s in our class isn’t it?”

My eyes widened. My body trembled as she already made another guess but a more accurate one this time. Miyeon seems to be an observative type of person, and more untrained and horrible attempts of pretending that I contradict her guesses would just make me look dumber in front of her.

I sighed and chuckled at myself from getting caught. “Yeah. She is.”

“Woah!” She exclaimed. “So YN here also has a crush of his/her own here huh!” She teased me as she referred to me being another addition to those established “couples” in our room. Most of them were now officially together and others, well I don’t know but mostly I’ve learned these days that they already confessed and sadly, they were rejected but still remains to be a tough lover for them.

“Who’s your crush then?” I shushed her with my gesture, as there’s our classmates still sitting in front of us and they might hear us. I don’t want tk get humiliated more just by being put into a hot seat getting confronted who’s the girl i’m into these days.

“D-do you want me to give you a clue?” I asked, I wanted to play a game with her first she already caught me easily, now I want to test her this time.

“Oh sure, what is it?”

“Okay, hmm….” I hummed but I didn’t think that much because i already knew what I would give to her. “She’s a person.”

“Luh.” She reacted and whined. “Cmon, be serious!”

I just laughed at her befuddled response and think again, with all seriousness this time. “Okay, fine. She’s a social butterfly.”

“Ooohhh social butterfly…” Miyeon started to think. “There’s so many classmates of ours that are giddy to get close with others. Is it Jiyeon?”

“Nope. 19 left.” I said, crossing out one from the list of number of girls in our room.

“Aaaahhhh!” She screamed but jokingly, already panicking at just one guess. “Whooo?”

“Try more!”

“Aish, is it Julie?”

“Nope.”

“Ehhh?” She scratched her nape. “Next clue!”

“Okay fine, I’ll give you just three okay?” She nodded and readjusted her posture on her seat, she seemed very invested on knowing who my crush is. “The second one is… she’s smart.”

“Smart…” she began thinking again. “But most of us here are very good at anything.”

I smirked, feeling satisfied that I gave a mysterious clue for her more. “Is it Mina?”

“Nah.” I shook my head, but I admit in my thoughts that i almost fell for Mina once like back when we were freshman.

“Danielle?!” Miyeon’s eyes brightened as she thought she finally achieved the right answer. I shook my head and gave her an apologetic look, which shuts off the spark in her eyes instantly.

Miyeon pouted and lets out an even struggling look at me. “I’m starting to run out of ideas!”

“Miyeon you’ve only told me like… 5 of our classmates so far.”

“Fire the last clue!”

“Okay. The last one is that… you probably won’t expect her to be my crush.”

Her eyebrows lifted and hummed fascinatingly at me. “That just made things interesting. Won’t expect to be your crush? So it means it’s not actually your type but you just seem to get a liking on that person?”

“Hmm maybe?”

“Wait…” she paused that lasted a little bit longer than just few seconds. Her head raised and I wondered why her eyes softened as she slowly looked at me and pushed her head closer.

“What? You got the answer now?”

“YN… is it me?” Miyeon asked. She was staring at me with pure seriousness and jaw hanging slightly in surprise. I gasped as I was shocked at her answer. I know that she’s one of the girls around who is also pretty but still I didn’t expect that it really came out of her mouth, that she also considered herself too.

“N-no! It’s not you and Miyeon, you already have a boyfriend.”

“Yeah.” She agreed, understandably took my reason well. “But… it’s just a crush though, so…”

“Still no. I don’t fall in love to women who are already taken. I respect relationships and I don’t want to create conflicts for other people. Although, I admit that you’re beautiful.” I smiled at her. She returned the same and pushed my shoulder. “Wow, just like that huh?”

“I don’t know, you sound like you were urging me to say something nice to you atleast.”

“I wasn’t! B-but that doesn’t mean I won’t take your compliment at me.” She giggled. “Anyways, I pass. Cmon tell me who it is!”

I exhaled. To be fair, I wasn’t really up for sharing this with anybody. It’s not that I don’t want anybody to know because I don’t trust them, but I’m doing this rather to avoid the possibility that she may learn more about what I really feel for her from other people. I just want to be a complete secret admirer of her.

However, since I was already cornered by Miyeon, it seems like my plans have to undergo some changes. I feel a bit of pity for this girl because she has shared some of her stories with me, and I listened and kept them all to myself, just like she wanted to. Thatimplies that she views me as someone she can trust.

That’s why I felt obligated that I had to treat her in the same manner. I mean, Miyeon is one of the girls in our class that I find really pure and mature and who knows how to blend well when having fun with other people.

“Fine. You know I never really intended to tell this to others because for some reasons, I don’t want anybody to tease me, accidentally become obvious, or make others bother with what I’m facing at right now… but I do trust you Miyeon, you know that. And please let’s keep it to ourselves okay?”

“Oh don’t worry about me.” Miyeon then bounced on her seat with a large grin. “I’m so excited to know!”

“W-well… the girl that I’m-”

“What are you two up to?” My other classmate interrupted our conversation, looking at us as she twirled her body on the chair to go back and forth at us. I was surprised that we’re like able to be caught despite our distances being one vacant row from each other. Our voices aren’t even that loud.

Miyeon and I exchanged glances and she was controlling her laughter as she saw me looking nervous. “W-we’re just playing a game! He’s trying to make me identify who is-”

“Aahhhh wait, I think I know what you two are talking about.” Her eyes then shrinked and it went towards me who is blushing. She smirked and find my current state hilarious. “I’ve been seeing something about this one eh. I think I know who may that be.”

Both Miyeon and I were eager to know, especially me who is heavily related to the one she was talking about. About our conversation with Miyeon, she finally learn who that is and she was amused to know that she agrees at the clues I gave to her. She really didn’t expected that I’ll be admiring somebody like Jihyo and commented that it wasn’t visible to me all these time. She couldn’t blame me though for having a crush with Jihyo, as she revealed that she’s bisexual and she once had a crush on her too before she met her boyfriend.

Meanwhile, about our other classmate who is holding a thought that shares my secret. I wanted to know about it. Thankfully, both of us were walking home together since Nako which is her name, lives almost close to our neighborhood.

We were riding on a bus and we talked about what she said earlier. I had no choice but to reveal to her since I already did it to Miyeon and it’s going to be unfair if I don’t do it for her too. She might feel offended that I rather not to disclose it to her.

She learned and she laughed so hard that she was actually right which had me speechless. She found it interesting too just like Miyeon that I got to be in love with someone like Jihyo. Me on the other hand, has a huge “How?” question displayed on my head.

She only replied that it’s her guts that is telling her and even her didn’t expected that she would got it correct. What she said though did had me find it difficult to maintain my smile. “But really, for me I don’t see Jihyo being attracted to a guy/girl. It’s more possible that she’s rather into girls because of her looks, but she did told me one time what does she think of her gender and she only told me that it’s complicated. Will it still going to be okay for you knowing that your rivals when it comes to her were all female/male?”

She shared to me her observation and I got it immediately what her basis for that. I suddenly had Jihyo on my mind along with her tomboy look that can make girls crazy and gay for her. “I don’t know, I don’t mind it that much. They can all admire her for whatever they want. What matters to me more is Jihyo. Only her.” I just said nonchalantly to her, which she find a bit suspicious why I care less about it.

Whether by coincidence or not, more and more days have passed, and my other classmates that I’m close with are all girls. Have I mentioned that I’m comfortable and easy to befriend with girls rather than guys? I never had a sister in my life; that’s why I view them as my sister-like figures, but still, I know how to set my boundaries with them due to society’s common stereotype of seeing two opposite genders together.

They all also began to know my adoration for Jihyo, and they are either secretive or teaseful about it, and I find myself on the brink of danger whenever they do that on occasions that me and Jihyo would have an interaction together. Some examples I can give are when I, along with Nako and her, were discussing our anticipation of attending the concert of our favorite K-pop group this coming week.

I was expressing my loneliness to them rather because I wasn’t entirely sure if my parents would allow me to attend such a huge event like that and for me also to travel to a place that is very far away from our city. I was about to give up my hopes until a certain person simply boosted my faith again and not wanting to let me go that easily.

“You should go to that concert, YN! It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, you should not waste it!”

Jihyo spoke to me and she gave me that hopefulness and positivity. She knew I might need it for her and if that so then she’s damn right. I couldn’t ask for anything more than to hear a support and concern than from her.

And later that night, I tried to ask my parents about it, and shockingly, they allowed me to, as long as I had someone with me. Nako joined me, while Jihyo went with her sister. I got a little excited, thinking I was going to be with her too, but that’s just fine. At least, I still got some heart-bursting interaction with her on social media when we both exchanged heart reactions on our posts about our experience at the concert.

Another time I could give that one of the best things I would want to just happen forever in my life was when I got unexpectedly sick in the school, and what’s even more suck about the timing is that we were rehearsing for our roleplay performance in just 3 days.

Our director set me aside for now and gave me a time to recover but ofcourse the worry of me not being able to make it to the deadline struck a fear on him. I just lay down on one of the benches with all of my classmate’s bags around me. I tried to sleep but the pain in my head just won’t let me go in peace.

I was about to go to the clinic with no other option in mind because I didn’t actually want to go there because, um, yeah, call me a scaredy cat, but I’ve heard many times from some of the students, including my classmates, that our school nurse is a terror. She’s so strict that there’s no doubt that once she finds me, my temperature will be high. Since the pandemic happened, these medical professionals have been very careful for the past few years.

One positive detection and surely I’m gone for today. I just sighed defeatedly because I wanted to practice today and to see her ofcourse. I sat up and gave myself time to prepare myself as I might feel dizzy standing up, but then I heard some footsteps and felt arms wrapped around me.

“J-jihyo?” I exclaimed weakly. She must’ve felt my body trembled in shock as I found her beside me. She just looked at me and tightlipped.

“You’re going to the clinic now?”

“Yeah. I have to.”

“You can’t do it by yourself. Look how weak you look. Cmon, I’ll join you on your way there.”

“Y-you sure? B-but they might look for you and-

“I just finished rehearsing my part. My next one is three acts after, so they wouldn’t mind.” Jihyo said. “But it’s up to you, can you do it by yourself?”

“Actually, I really didn’t want to go home yet.” I said with sincerity of sadness on my voice.

“I know, but you have to.” Jihyo said to me. “Let’s go.”

We started walking, and I gave one last look at my classmates. I caught Miyeon, who saw me with Jihyo smiling at us, and I knew what that meant. We went together to the clinic, and I feel embarrassed that I had to make a girl wait for me outside, even though she didn’t mind me that much. The nurse wasn’t even that scary; she was rather strict, but in the sense that she’s doing it because she cares for the students’ health.

She found my fever weird because… hmm how can I say this, well it’s like my temperature risen due to hunger, dehydration and possibly some changes of temperature also to the places I’ve been at since she discovered that I don’t actually feel dizzy or aching on my head.

That’s why due to my determination to remain here, she dared me to atleast decrease my temperature by having a meal and lots of water on the canteen or else she’ll have to excuse me to my instructor.

I went out of the clinic, accepting the challenge and Jihyo was just there sitting and using her cellphone. She felt my presence reappeared and she greeted me. “How’s there?”

I repeated what the nurse told me. “Come on, let’s eat at the canteen first if that so.”

“Yeah.”

“My treat.”

“Wait, what?”

We stopped walking. “Why? What’s the problem?”

“N-nothing, I just… didn’t expect it.”

“Just don’t do anything for now. Since I accompanied you, let me just be like that today before we get back there.”

In my surprise, Jihyo wrapped her arm around my shoulders, giving me that bro-cuddle. I felt super shy and almost going to melt because of the skinship she’s doing to me. It’s ironic how her touch can beat the warm temperature running across my body.

She was the one who bought our food and drinks together and she returned to our place with it. We just took our meal quietly then short talks about our interests again, but it was still enough for me. I give some sneak glances at Jihyo on my side, observing her sipping that iced coffee while she busily scrolls down on her phone.

My body suddenly felt lighter and numb, I think my sickness didn’t even exist to worry myself as I was just busy admiring her all over again. Not gonna lie, this just had me spawning another idea to imagine being with her more. A date with her is something I’d definitely would love to have someday with her.

But again, I knew I have no chance.

The deadline came and we were going back to the clinic, but just then Jihyo offered me something. It’s a medicine on the palm of her hand.

“Take this, it’ll help more.”

“Jihyo, you might need it once you-”

“But I don’t have one and you are, that’s why you need it more than me.” Jihyo rejected. “Just take it.”

I didn’t object anymore and took it at ease from her. “Thanks, Jihyo.”

“No prob, now get in there and hopefully you’re fine now. I mean, you’re kinda sweating now too so yeah maybe you really needed some rest.” She said as she poked at my arm.

I nodded and I entered with confidence, I know that Jihyo helped me a lot today. Fortunately, we were right. My temperature returned to normal still very close on reaching that low fever. I exit and immediately thanked Jihyo again which she returned with her gummy smile that I always loved seeing from her.

It was our classmates’ break too from the rehearsal and they saw us together rejoining them. As usual, Nako and Miyeon were the ones leading the group of people who knows my crush for Jihyo and they teased me about it.

And speaking of group of people who knows about my love secret, a new one has been added. It happened through our chat in Instagram when somebody replied in my story featuring a movie quote about loving someone but being aware of the consequences which makes you rather think twice on pushing yourself to chase for her feelings.

That person is the guy Jihyo is mostly close with in our classroom. They are both smart, but this one is smarter and they get along easily because they share the same humor. He replied to me saying “Who is that girl huh?”

I didn’t tell him yet. We went for some few talks until I recalled our time on the mall earlier with our other classmates. “Hey, I hope you don’t mind joining your circle like earlier. Maybe you guys might find having me uncomfortable, I just wanted to keep my closeness with you guys as my classmates.”

“We’re cool, YN. Actually I like it even more that you’re trying.” He said. “However, I do seem it doesn’t apply for somebody.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think out of everyone we were with at the mall earlier, I didn’t even saw you like interact or go near at Jihyo.” He said. I almost dropped my phone in disbelief. He did noticed me being shy around Jihyo. Sensing that he’ll end up as one of them who is about to find out soon, I didn’t wait for it anymore and after some few hesitation, I made up my mind to do what I have to do. “Did you two had a fight or something?”

“Ahh, that?” I said. “Well actually there’s another reason why you guys might find me sticking along to your circle more.”

He reacted a wow emoji on my message. My heartbeat racing as I typed the letters of her name on the keyboard. After i sent it, I waited for his reaction and what had me was his long laughter.

“Ahhhh so that’s why!” I can hear his annoying laugh behind the phone. My head just bent in shame and laughed poorly at my idiotic self. I don’t know if revealing my crush for Jihyo is even a good or a bad idea to do it with this guy.

“So yeah, I said it to you now. And I did it because I trust you so please, don’t let her know. She doesn’t need to.” I pleaded to him.

“Faggot, don’t.” He then continued with another laughter. Now I just want to rub my face on the table. “Good luck tomorrow, I’m going to tease you a lot from now on.”

I knew it would happen. I gulped nervously and chuckled again imagining what would I expect starting tomorrow if things will go in a chaotic change for me now that people are starting to recognize me because of being an admirer to our fellow classmate.

I prepared myself before going to the campus. As I arrived there, Sehun, which is his name, immediately laughed at me as I approach them who are waiting for our professor to arrive since the classroom is still locked. I just laughed back and whined at him to stop doing it frequently or else Jihyo might find it suspicious and it may attract her attention.

Thankfully, he did listened. He was just like doing it in a manner that he tries his best to insert a joke referring to me but Jihyo and the rest won’t notice. Before we went home as our classes for today ended, he gave me a short advice that began to repeat for the few days to come or whenever we get to talk together.

“Make a move already.” He said. “Do it. She’s easy to get along with. Don’t be nervous.”

I know to myself that I’m trying, but I’m not doing that to impress myself. I stand at my reason still why I don’t have any plans to make an action on how to make her mine. He did say it with the same idea I was thinking for the past few months since I started to develop an attraction to Jihyo, so I just listened to him while keeping my feelings behind me.

But again, being the dorky admirer that I am, I find it difficult to do whenever my feet would bring me closer to me or when I’m standing next to her. I couldn’t acknowledge her presence in ease. It was stressful, and it raises my belief that I am indeed a hopeless romantic.

It continued for few months that my classmates would also ran out of energy to disturb me with their playful gestures on leading me to Jihyo. They slowly didn’t cared at all and it was kind of relieving at least that’s going back to normal now that I can just move around without anybody noticing me. That didn’t last long though when I was walking home with my classmates and two of my other female classmates named Jeewon and Karina asked me randomly when Jihyo got mentioned in our topic.

“You still have feelings for her?” Jeewon asked me.

“Yeah.” I admitted.

“How long do you have a crush on her?”

I remembered the date today and that exact date when I proclaimed myself that I am indeed catching feelings for Jihyo. “Almost a year now.”

Both of them woah-ed. Karina took the turn to ask me. “Why aren’t you doing anything yet? You’re almost reaching a year, that’s long enough already.”

I sighed and slumped my shoulders. “It doesn’t matter. I believe its better if she must not know. I don’t want her to end up with me anyway.” I said weakly as my mind replayed that time when I talked with my other classmate named Lia who lives at the direction where my home leads at, stating that she learned that Jihyo doesn’t have any interest on this love thingie and she prioritize her studies first. She didn’t deny the part though that she already had an experience of being in love with somebody. Based on her report, they almost became a couple back when they were in senior high school but sadly, it didn’t happened for unknown reason.

Jeewon and Karina aww-ed in pity for me being a fallen soldier who still remains loyal fo a girl who will never be aware of my feelings and be mine. They just expressed their opinion that a year or more might just be wasted and more painful to see somebody I’m loyal with get to be rather with someone else. That’s why they still wanted to push me to try atleast.

I just kept it in mind but I haven’t considered it yet. I did have another reason with me that i didn’t shared to them which added to my reasons why I should remain on the shadows. I recalled from my chat with Lia that she has speculations to her ex-boyfriend, which is Sehun that he is interested with Jihyo too.

She even enumerated to me her evidences she observed which became a reminiscence to the things Sehun once did for her when he was courting her.

“First, you see how he always places himself next to Jihyo. Second, he was frequently escorting her with his motorcycle, to take her home or go to somewhere else. He did that to me once, and that’s when he found out where I live in and now for sure he knows where Jihyo’s home too. Lastly, he can just easily get access on her things without a permission. He even carries her bag for himself!

Don’t you think those were still nothing for him? I’m telling you, he’s chasing for Jihyo’s feelings just like how he did to me and what makes me afraid is that he might also waste her heart just like how I ended up into. He’s a player!” She said with all frustrations and I calmed her down. It threw me back to my conversations with Sehun and that advice he gave me which he always say in repeat that I should “Make a move already”.

At first it was just a simple encouragement to me but now after hearing what Lia said, I felt like it was rather a challenge sent to me. That I should do something now or else he’ll be the one who’s gonna win in the end.

Well, for my response? I don’t even care. Let him have her if he wants. If there’s some sort a miracle that it happens, I swear to God that I hope he won’t hurt Jihyo or else,I may reconsider and I’ll be there in no time.

Speaking or miracle, the reason I said it like that is because Lia and I share the same idea: “Pfft he wouldn’t have a chance with her.” Lia said in a mocking tone. “Jihyo doesn’t want to get involved with such guys like him. He may be great at words but internally? He’s immature, way apart to Jihyo.”

“Hmmm so that’s why I’m getting a weird feeling whenever I see them together” I revealed that I actually do get jealous whenever I see them close. At the bench where they review together with their circle, At the canteen where they eat and laugh together. And… yeah when he instructed Jihyo to hug him when they were riding on his motorcycle.

I just tried to hide my face contorting as my heart swells in pain seeing them like that. I was gaslighting myself that maybe it was nothing and they’re close friends that’s why. Jihyo met Sehun early when we became freshman that’s why them being close isn’t surprising anymore.

Until Lia came to dispose those lies I’ve been saying to myself. “See! Even you can see it from them. Trust me, YN. Sehun is making a move on Jihyo. I was his ex, I know him better when he acts for love.”

A month later, those all allegations and rumors we have for Sehun along with my other friend and former classmate who shifted to another course named Arin who also told me that she caught Sehun with another girl eating together and drive away on his motorcycle near at their neighorhood. Arin was living near to Sehun’s house that’s why. Arin even added that when her eyes met against Sehun’s it looked like he caught in the act and just quickly greeted at her back before they left.

Unfortunately, Arin didn’t recognize the girl but she did told me that she was wearing a uniform that is not from our campus, planting a seed that the girl is from another campus that he is also close with.

Going back to what I was saying, those all rumors were ended and disposed away when one day, me and Sehun are sitting next to each other at our subject about Psychology since our surnames’ initials are right next to each other, with mine before his.

While we wait for our instructor, he pulls out his phone and typed something before he poked me and made me look at it. I looked at the message he sent, I read it and it says:

“You’re in danger, YN.”

I furrowed my brows at him. “Danger? For what?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Boss is starting to speculate you.”

My eyes widened and my chest felt heavy immediately. His laugh got a bit louder but he stopped and typed again on his phone.

“Seriously? I-I mean, I’m not shocked since I knew it’s gonna happen. Secrets are meant to be unveiled-” I was just spitting nonsense now at this point, while I am heavily confused that she finally does began to notice me.

He presented his phone again. This time it says:

“Make a move already. Sungbin is almost at the end.” My brows deepened. Who the hell is Sungbin? I then asked it to him along with the question how did Jihyo suspected me, but instead he just said he will say about it more later.

That son of a bitch though left me hanging and getting eaten alive with all my curiosities for an entire day until I had enough waiting and I chatted him repeatedly about it while clearing up any misunderstandings that I’m not even expecting a lot or whatever. He finally responded and this is what he replied to me.

“Yup she shared it to me like, out of nowhere- she just asked. This is not what happened specifically, huh. This is just too long to read.

For her sake and yours. I don’t want to become your “middle man” even though you both are very distant to each other, got it?

After she approached me, she asked who do you like then ofcourse since you said before that you don’t want me to say it plus it’s not really my business so I just didn’t answered her.

But it looks like she didn’t really wanted to ask it then, I guess she got tired of waiting (just like you right now.) She then asked me directly if “Am I the one that YN likes?” and there, still with respect for you… I didn’t answered her. Not my story to tell.

But overall, just chill. No need to approach her about it anyway. Plus I don’t want to get involved if ever like “Sehun was the one who said it to you, doesn’t he?” Pass. I don’t want to get in trouble. There, make your move or don’t. It’s up to you. She's not thinking about it like actively, don’t worry. Maybe it just crossed her mind that time. So yeah, that’s your too long to read. Ciao.”

I thanked him and felt touched that he really did listen after all this time, and he became a man of his word for it. It’s still unknown though if he also harbored a crush on Jihyo, but during that time I did kind of notice that he wasn’t getting that much into contact with her that I might find jealous of. Maybe he gave up shortly and is now focusing on somebody else.

I learned afterwards that this is not the time that Jihyo starts to investigate her possible secret admirer, aka me. I confirmed from some of my classmates that Jihyo also asked them about it, and they also lied about it. I also feel like Jihyo is now also hiding a secret from me, as I found her following me whenever I take a spot somewhere else around the campus, yet still minus the talking.

I got nervous at the idea that maybe she’s testing or examining my antics if she can consider it that yeah I am getting shy around her because she’s my crush afterall. Realizing that she must have known now, I’m stuck if i really have to do it as there’s no more sense anymore if I have to continue being like this way.

I then hold on for few days until the time has come. I don’t know if this is such a huge coincidence or my classmates are pulling a prank on me. I did contacted them to confirm the location of our group study and the time which I quickly prepped up to head there.

But as I arrived there, I found Jihyo who is sitting alone and using her cellphone. It’s early in the morning and there’s not much students scattered around. It’s very quiet and peaceful but deep inside of me I feel like my emotions are going into war not knowing what I should do.

There’s no way out for me as I cannot leave anymore and Jihyo immediately saw me after she looked away at her phone. I had no choice but to come near at her while I try my best to compose myself. “Good morning.” She greeted me and I did the same.

“They’re still not here? I thought I’m already late that’s why I quickly went here.” I said, acting nonchalant and a bit confused.

“Same too. But since we’re here, let’s just wait for them.” I nodded and I instantly grabbed my things and took them out. From my peripheral vision, my senses are telling me that Jihyo is still observing me.

I don’t want to be weird so I silently plead that she stop, but as longer as we continue to be like this, I then realized that it was actually Jihyo who is becoming awkward between us. My patience couldn’t hold anymore as I see her blank face, I closed my notes and sighed heavily before I spoke the words I’ve never wanted to say.

“This is exactly what I’m talking about.” I said. Jihyo didn’t moved and stared at me, wondering what I’m talking about, so I proceeded with my words. “Making you uncomfortable and unhappy being around me, and it scares me. That’s what I’m being so hesitant for.”

I lowered my head, avoiding her gaze at me. What she said after made me lift up and put my attention to her as this is now something both she and I must discuss sincerely.

“So it’s me.” She finally comprehended what I’m trying the say.

“Always has been, Jihyo.” I confirmed, officially marking my confession to her and shattering my more than a year-length of being her secret admirer.

“And I just want to tell you right ahead that i’m very sorry.” I continued my heartfelt speech, wanting to make every thing clear for Jihyo. “We both know we ain’t that close or I don’t know, even be called as friends to have a normal conversation like this, and it’s my fault. It’s because of this deep infatuation- no screw that, I know for myself that this is indeed love I’ve been having on you that makes me act very awkward around you and trust me, I’m trying very very hard but I just cannot help it.”

“I do notice that I’m like the only one that you don’t get to interact with in the class.” Jihyo said. “Hearing that from you more, it did kind of hurt a litlle bit, you know. Seeing our classmates happy and comfortable talking with you, but I can’t have it the same as them. It did made me worried if I even did something bad to you. W-why does it have to be different when it comes to me?”

I frowned and took all of her rants with guilt. “I thought it was like that, but now I would just found out that’s all because you just… love me that much that you had to act like I’m non-existent?”

“I’m really sorry, Jihyo.” I muttered. “I have my reasons but it’s too many to say.”

“Then atleast enlighten me why do you have to set yourself away?”

“My fears and insecurities are not allowing me to, Jihyo.” My breathing is starting to get heavy as I sense the rising intensity of our confrontation. Jihyo was staring at me, puzzled. “It’s hard to escape. I’m scared that if you once knew, you will just ignore me because of it. That’s why I think not being close with you is much better because atleast I… I have nothing to lose more from you.”

Jihyo gulped and her expression turned into concern. She was about to move towards me but she hold on as I soon followed up what did she got taken aback from. My eyes swelled and a thin cold path started to drew from my cheek, and that’s when I touched it, a teardrop had escaped to present how much I’m struggling with this feeling.

“W-why are you doing this to yourself? Why do you need to hurt yourself more because of me?” Jihyo adjusted herself closer to me. Our eyes still ain’t leaving our staredown at each other. It deeply feels like i’m under interrogation right now that I have to defend and tell my side with all honesty.

“It’s just a feeling that I have.” I shrugged. “That i’m not the example of an ideal guy you would like to be with. I’ll just ruin whoever you are and we’ll end up being torn. Now you know why I didn’t want to confess to you because I’m not desperate for you to answer me back and tell me that you love me too. Maybe it’s better if you don’t.”

I was about to wipe my tears with my spare cloth but I was prevented by Jihyo herself who touched my hand and grabbed the cloth instead. Astounded, she damped it around my face and wiped my tears away.

“YN, please you don’t have to be harsh at yourself.” Jihyo sharpened her voice. I shook my head and tried to remove her hand.

“Don’t worry, it’ll end soon, when the time comes that my heart decides to stop.”

“AND IF I TELL YOU NOT TO?!” Jihyo suddenly yelled in front of me, slamming her fist at my shoulder. My eyes widened at her outburst. I went speechless, oblivious at the fact that I’ve been pushing her buttons further the more she hears me blabbering poisonous words at myself.

Her question rather, sounded suspicious. She returned her glare at me and she reached for my hand laying on my lap.

“I’ve had enough of hearing you hate yourself this much, you may not be fit on some of the qualities I want to the type of person I dream to be together with but I didn’t find everything about you horrible!” Jihyo complained. “And I am willing to get to know more about your capabilities, my standards weren’t even that high to be reach. I feel like it’s not right for me to be like that. If you hate yourself, then what about me? I don’t even think that anybody would fall for me who doesn’t even act accordingly to the gender norms this society has dictated upon.”

“Then I’m not one of them.” I said with confidence. “Initially, I never wanted to be in love again. But then I saw you and more time has passed, I couldn’t determine at first what my heart find you qualified to make me fall for you.

One year ago, I began as your secret admirer observing you from a far, and that’s where I started picking it all up. Many will find you rather handsome or a less attractive because of your boyish cut, tough posture, and antics that doesn’t suit you. But to me, I see different.

You’re uniquely beautiful and cute on your own that I couldn’t stand not to glance at your face for a second. I see this smart and mature woman that you would respect and willing to listen to every words she says attentively. God, you don’t how many times I imagine having you near me all the time just doing every ideas I could think to make you know how I’m deeply in love with everything about you. Just to make you feel special.

Jihyo, I love you because of how your authenticity shines through.”

After I enumerated all the signs that I find captivating from Jihyo and from how she shifted her gloomy mood into an uplifted state, smiling at the compliments I showered over her. She bit her lip and sighed as she looked away, thinking of something else for a while.

Jihyo then brought back her gaze and roamed it all around the sight of myself in front of her. “I really appreciated it a lot, YN. It did sounded sincere.” She nodded in which I mirrorred her. “We really can be friends, but this silly crush is pulling both you and I from each other.”

“S-so, you don’t-”

“No, wait it’s not like that!” Jihyo stopped me as she probably noticed that I misintepreted her. “I mean… you’re a cool guy and can you please stop ignoring me anymore? I-It really hurts when you only do that to me among the rest.” She begged with her softened dismayed tone as she pouted at me. I couldn’t care less anymore if I look like a tomato at how red my cheeks or face would appear from her cuteness.

“I won’t, I promise.” I assured her.

She sighed in relief. “Finally.”

Both sides became silent for a second before Jihyo proceeded again. “About your confession, I won’t reject you for now, YN.”

My hopes and dreams reignited and altered again with that single sentence that she said. I gasped and became overwhelmed at her response that I always thought after all these time that she would just nevermind and won’t take it seriously. “Please understand that my focus for now are on our studies, and you should be as well. I would also like to advice you to take care of yourself and use all of these time I will give for you to improve yourself and rebuild your self-esteem. I don’t want to see you being like this anymore, okay?”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I nodded at her as I listened attentively to her favor.

“Can you wait for me? I mean… if you can’t, w-well… if your heart gets tired of me, y-you can find someone new-”

“And what if I won’t?”

Jihyo considered my interruption and added a new suggestion. “Then how about I’ll wait for you to come back and you must do the same for me?”

“Deal.” We shook hands to seal it. As we slowed down the pace, I let out my gratitude for her. “Thank you for hearing my confession to you, Jihyo. You don’t know how light I feel now after I finally lift off this huge baggage I’m carrying inside of me for spending the entirety of the year admiring you which I thought that would be impossible.”

Jihyo slapped my arm and grinned. “Tss, it’s nothing. I want to also say thank you for speaking up to me about what you really feel for me and I appreciate it a lot, YN. All you had to do is to open up. Sometimes you just have to face your fears.”

We both smiled at each other and then burst out laughing afterwards to avoid getting ourselves trapped again in awkwardness. “There they are on the gate, we should start reviewing now.”

Jihyo began pulling out her things out of her bag and we opened our notes and papers. At this moment, we officially had a mutual understanding to remain being friends for now while we wait for the future to bring what we will end up to be.

3 YEARS LATER

Me and Jihyo were still friends until our last year level… while we couldn’t deny that the signs are still there in present. Today is our graduation day and we both received our certificates, declaring our successfully conclusion of almost becoming an engineer one step away.

As everyone were finally got called on the stage, awarded, and delivered their speeches, we were all commanded to throw our hats to the air and celebrate for ourselves of reaching this far for the best of our careers.

I went to my family and welcomed their greetings to me. I couldn’t help but to be emotional seeing them enveloping me into their embrace. I owe it all to their hardwork and dedication. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be here where they want me to be, and now me as well too. I’ll bring them with me as my start to build my life to its improvement.

After having my moment with them, now I went to search after to the only person that matters more to me than everybody else out there. I reached the center of the auditorium, it was empty, and my feet decelerated as I finally saw who I am looking for.

Jihyo was there, now in her new bobbed haircut, looking even more fantastic in her graduation gown. She was holding her award as mine and we faced each other from the distance in the middle of such crowded place. She smiled at me and I did the same for her.

I started walking to approach her and so did she. We stood face to face and we exchanged chuckles at one another.

“We did it.”

“Yeah. Can’t believe it as well.”

We stared at each other. I saw her smile slowly shrink from being proud to affectionate.

“YN… d-did you wait for me?”

“I… I did.” I nodded and smiled, although it’s hard as I knew what we’re about to discuss about.

“I’m sorry.” Jihyo said me and she couldn’t help but to cry for me. “I’m sorry if I couldn’t do the same.” I heaved out a long sigh as I try to mask my devastation.

“But you helped me in other way possible.” I comforted her, not wanting to see her drag herself down just because she failed to last long in the deal we made years ago. “You changed me for the better, Jihyo. Even though that I do admit that my heart is… shattered into pieces right now but that’s what doesn’t matter here.”

“I also give credit on you for what I am now today. I became the best version of myself just like you wanted me to be.” I smiled at him, despite my lips twitching in bittersweet. “I would’ve like it much to apply it on showing how I love you so much, that after all these years I remained loyal for you, I never gave up, Jihyo. I thought we’re gonna be something more in the end but… I was right all along.”

“The likes of us weren’t meant to be together. I have finally accepted that.” I nodded which urged my tears to fall more. “Despite in the way from our darkest days when you often refuse to run away just for the love you tried to save, that’s how it is. Some things cannot be saved when its destined to die.”

I looked at Jihyo and I swayed some of the hair blocking her mesmerizing beauty even with the ruined mascaras and smeared eyeliner.

“You probably even came to see me and hear me say I did too.” She said while she hiccuped on her sobs.

“No, I just came up to meet you to tell you how lovely you are today and…” I paused as I reached for the medal that is hanging around my neck. “W-will you please tell me this too for the last time? Have I made you proud too as well?” I asked her as I remember all of the times she makes me proud seeing her achieving all of those accomplishments she’s receiving because of her academic performance. That’s what motivated me to do better on my studies so that someday, I can make her be proud of me too.

“I know for sure I cheered the loudest I can get when I watch you grab that award, YN.” She nodded and smiled at me while sniffing her tears.

I feel contented at her answer. She immediately pulled me closer to her, my first and the warmest hug I ever shared with her. She cried aloud on my shoulder and I just hummed ay her as I try to comfort her as much as I can.

“Forgive me, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, YN. I wish I didn’t loved you for me to hurt you this badly.”

“I can’t hate you, Jihyo. You just discovered where your heart truly settles.” I said to her. “Don’t blame yourself now, please let’s just be happy for ourselves. Can you do it for me?”

“Y-yes…” I felt her head move around my hold. I knew she can hear my heart still beating loud for her. How I wish she still the same, but when I looked into her eyes, she’s not even there anymore.

I smiled at her, not minding what’s going on around us. I focused on Jihyo only, she’s the most important of them all as usual. It’s no denying that I gave her all I had and for sure I’m willing to repeat it.

“So this is what it feels like.” I lastly said before I broke the hug between us and exchanged congratulations for our success. I watched her return back to her place, to where she belongs. She reunited with her new boyfriend while I left as I finally lose control of my emotions. I cried out loud, defeated and disoriented.

I can’t believe that its over for the both of us.

[cleolinda]

(For our purposes, listen to it without the visuals first.)

I wasn't going to keep posting about Unreal Unearth, but something happened yesterday.

It's been five months since I first heard this song, and I'm still astonished by it. You know the tiktok skit about the Star Wars wedding music, and the guy is grooving along until the Imperial Death March filters in, and then he's kind of alarmed, like, wha—? And then he realizes it slaps anyway and he keeps dancing? That is "Eat Your Young."

It's the morning of March 17th. The EP with the first three singles from the new album has dropped. I've got my phone blasting the song on the bathroom counter, I don't understand half what the man is saying nor did I expect to, I'm cheerfully mumbling along in the shower, grooving along,

wait they did what for a war drum

Get some Pull up the ladder when the flood comes Throw enough rope until the legs have swung Seven new ways that you can eat your young Come and get some Skinning the children for a war drum Putting food on the table selling bombs and guns It's quicker and easier to eat your young

What the fuck, this song goes so hard. That's the chorus. The conceit of the whole album is that it loosely follows Dante's Inferno, so this is the third circle of hell, gluttony. Hozier himself says that he wasn't specifically thinking of Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal—

“I don’t know how intentional the reference to Jonathan Swift was in this. That essay [Swift’s 1729 satirical essay A Modest Proposal in which he suggests the Irish poor sell their children as food] is such a cultural landmark that it’s just hanging in the air. I was more reflecting on what I felt now in this spirit of the times of perpetual short-term gain and a long-term blindness. The increasing levels of precarious living, poverty, job insecurity, rental crisis, property crisis, climate crisis, and a generation that’s inheriting all of that and one generation that’s enjoyed the spoils of it. The lyrics are direct, but the voice is playful. There’s this unreliable narrator who relishes in this thing which was fun to write.” [Apple Music album notes]

—and I believe him. The song's not a suggestion, a proposal; it's an invitation to atrocity in progress. I also believe he probably wasn't thinking of Greta Thunberg's iconic speech at the UN Climate Action Summit, not specifically, but that's what I hear in the song, like the flip side of a coin:

You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words. And yet I'm one of the lucky ones. People are suffering. People are dying. Entire ecosystems are collapsing. We are in the beginning of a mass extinction, and all you can talk about is money and fairy tales of eternal economic growth. How dare you! [...] You say you hear us and that you understand the urgency. But no matter how sad and angry I am, I do not want to believe that. Because if you really understood the situation and still kept on failing to act, then you would be evil.

I feel like on some level, even coincidentally, "Eat Your Young" is the answer to the question, what would you sound like if you were that evil? Who would you be? I can think of a dozen possibilities just off the top of my head or looking around my blog, from something as petty as studio executives mangling trees to deprive striking workers of shade (while hoping they lose their homes), all the way up to the US school-to-prison pipeline. The National Rifle Association keeps politicians in its pocket while the US has more mass shootings than days in a year, Nestlé fucks shit up around the world as a way of life, even ChatGPT sucks up water while threatening jobs—and for what? And yet, I promise you most of these things weren't the inspiration for an Irishman’s song—some of them hadn't even happened yet. There's just that much fresh You Would Be Evil to go around. I am certain that Hozier wrote the song partly about (as one article puts it) "Ireland's housing crisis: Millennials, a generation sacrificed," given that time back in the day when he helped occupy a building—a housing crisis happening in multiple countries. There's so much of the world I'm not touching on. I can stuff a paragraph with links and it's utterly inadequate.

I haven't even mentioned war.

There's an overwhelming sense this decade of the future being fed into a meat grinder. That sense is in this song. What would it sound like to be in the head of someone who didn't give a shit about anything but profit? Well, it might sound like this.

And if you haven't heard it, well—I'm going to sound absolutely out of my mind after saying all that, but "Eat Your Young" has a beat and you can dance to it. It's sexy. And I'm certain that's on purpose. You get seduced into the sound of it, as if by something demonic, something that enjoys sucking down the future and is not going to stop. And the sheer fucking catchiness of the song keeps you listening to it—thinking about it—when maybe you push away the dry headlines we get everyday. If you let this song stay in your head, it becomes a lens. Five months later, I still think about it when I read the news. Maui was on fire and tourists stayed. Within days, the prospect of developers swooping in to buy up land reared its head. If there's something still to take, there is ground to break, whatever's still to come. Get some.

I was born in 1978 —I'm late Gen X. In my forties, I'm young enough to worry about the future still; I’m neither so rich that I can just plan to retire to Mars, nor so old that I can know I'll be safely gone before the world might go up in flames. But I'm also not my nephew, whose school year just started back up, or the neighborhood kids who race him home down the sidewalk in the afternoons. Yesterday, he had his very first mass-shooter lockdown drill. He’s six.

I think music can put the feeling back into numb fingers, and I think that's why "Eat Your Young" works so well—Hozier calls the song fun and playful, and I think you have to have that, something you can live with rather than just switch off for your own mental survival. We need music to feed spirit at protests; we need something to keep our feet moving. Don’t give up, don't close your eyes and slip away. Those kids, they have dreams we could try to steal back for them.

Since I mentioned Maui:

Why Hawaiian sovereignty has undeniable context for the Maui fires

The Climate Crisis and Colonialism Destroyed My Maui Home. Where We Must Go From Here

How You Can Donate and Help Support Maui Communities Right Now

The Maui Strong Fund

[brucebocchi]

Winter 2024 anime, Pt. 2: Mixed reactions, the bench, and the gems

hey y'all, this is also up on my ko-fi! it's free to read both here and there, but i'm struggling financially rn so i could appreciate if you'd throw a few bucks my way if you liked it! part 1 can be found here.

And we're back for part 2! Here's all the new stuff I finished this season, and one more I'll get back to later. As with before, these are sorted alphabetically within each category and are not ranked as of yet.

Also as before, the OP for each series is linked in the title. Check them all out if the header images aren't giving you the right feel for each show, but also check them out because most of them were actually pretty damn good this season.

[Solo Leveling OP voice] LET'S GET IT!

Mixed Bags:

Hokkaido Gals Are Super Adorable!

Your standard, quasi-harem “easily flustered Regular Guy wins over hot girls just by being really nice” shonen romcom. I really don’t have much to say about this one other than if you’ve seen My Dress-Up Darling, you’ve basically seen this already. The only thing that really sets it apart is the setting.

Tsubasa (voiced by Nobunaga Shimazaki, in a FAR cry from his turn as Mahito in Jujutsu Kaisen) is a straight-laced Tokyoite whose family situation lands him in a small city in the frozen boonies of Hokkaido. While looking for the bus to his new house, he runs into a gyaru in the snowy wild, the underdressed, hilariously-proportioned Minami, and they hit it off. It turns out they go to the same school, there are other cute girls there who take a shine to him as well, it’s nothing new.

I ultimately don’t have much to say about Hokkaido Gals, but I do have a soft spot for series like this, and after reading ahead in the manga I felt obligated to see it through. This is all junk food, but it’s all stuff you’ve seen done better in other series. I also have a soft spot for gyaru in anime and manga, and while I do like Minami just fine, she isn’t Marin Kitagawa or Rumiko Manbagi. I don’t really have it in me to recommend this show to many, though, at least not until another season rolls around, if that ever happens. The manga genuinely does get a lot better as it goes on, but the really worthwhile stuff may not happen until a third season, and I just don’t see that happening. 

The manga has issues that the anime isn’t willing or able to solve, chief of which being the visuals. The art style of the manga is wildly inconsistent, and getting a mediocre animation team on this didn’t help matters at all. While the colors often pop nicely against the pretty, snowy backdrops, nobody looks all that great overall. The characters are recognizable, but they just plain don’t look great a lot of the time, nor do they look consistent from one cut to the next; I said that Minami’s proportions are hilarious, but just as hilarious is how wildly they vacillate from one scene to the next for the sake of trying to titillate the viewer.

My biggest takeaway from both the manga and anime was everything I learned about Hokkaido in the process, and if the series is taking subsidies from the island’s tourism bureau, then it’s a job well done. I want some goddamn jingisukan now. The OP is a great time, though. I’m shocked it took over a decade for us to get a proper “Uptown Funk” knockoff in an anime.

Metallic Rouge

I’ll be upfront in saying that this was my biggest disappointment of the season by far. This show had so much going for it, and what we got was… ugh.

There was an unbelievable amount of promise from the outset: This was Studio Bones’ commemorative 25th anniversary production, and coming from the studio that gave us all-timer adaptations like Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood and Mob Psycho 100, not to mention later works from Cowboy Bebop creator Shinichiro Watanabe (including the Cowboy Bebop movie), you can’t fault anyone for having high expectations. It looked to be a fitting production as well: Watanabe’s influence shines through immediately in the gorgeous, lived-in cyberpunk off-world locales and racially diverse cast. Action takes the form of dope robo-tokusatsu transformation fisticuffs, and it’s entirely in 2D animation to boot. The first couple of episodes were killer, too; everything looked and sounded amazing, and there were just enough plot threads teased out that I just had to see how they’d unravel.

It brings me no joy, then, to say that Metallic Rouge collapses into a jumbled mess. I don’t even want to bother talking about what happens in the show because I don’t fucking care anymore. There are few media experiences more sobering than to have it dawn on you over a span of several weeks that “oh… this isn’t actually all that good, is it?” Episode after episode piles on with sloppy lore, weak worldbuilding, warring factions whose names you immediately forget, pointless double-crosses, and the most predictable twist you’ve ever seen. For a while I was willing to accept the fact that I didn’t know what was going on half the time and expected things to become clearer, but now I’m not entirely sure the writers knew either. The stakes apparently kept rising and everything just kept getting more claustrophobic. I’m glad it’s over, if only because if I had to hear “Clair de Lune” one more fucking time, I was going to go ballistic. 

There are several attempts at emotional beats, as the story is rife with tragedy and sacrifice, and every single one lands with a wet thud. Nobody gets enough time, motivation, or characterization for any of these things to feel like they actually matter, and that’s especially a shame because the finale might have been able to stick the landing if the previous episodes were less dense and better paced. Emphasis on “almost,” though, because just before the season ends, we get the absolute most pointless fakeout I’ve seen since The Rise of Skywalker, which is the lowest point of comparison you can make for any work of sci-fi.

This is especially frustrating because on paper, there is so much to like here. Rouge and Naomi are likable-enough deuteragonists with a fun dynamic, and they’d make easy yuri bait in a better show. The characters are all pretty and uniquely designed across the board, and the overall aesthetic, almost a pastiche of late-90’s anime futurism, is undeniable. The toku suit designs are neat and several of the action scenes are gorgeous. The score and soundtrack are outstanding (except for the aforementioned Debussy indulgence). I have few complaints about how the show looks and sounds; the style is great! All of my issues lie with the substance.

Metallic Rouge may have had all the ingredients, but it just needed more time to cook; whether that would have been by doubling the episode count or by more carefully planning the pacing and trimming some of the fat from the lore, I’m still not sure. Probably both. It probably needed better writers, too. Maybe it just isn’t as smart as it acts and there was no way to satisfyingly resolve the clumsy civil rights allegories that bring it uncomfortably close to the likes of Detroit: Become Human. So all of the above, I guess. I tend to adore stories that involve artificially-intelligent beings developing their own wills and emotions and learning to cut their own strings (the likes of Blade Runner, Nier Automata, even a couple of character arcs in the Persona series), but this ain’t it. I’m not even mad anymore. I’m just disappointed.

If there are two positives that will stick with me, though, they would be the absolute banger of an OP and, of course, Naomi Orthmann herself (pictured above, left). Outstanding character design. I’m mildly obsessed. She deserved a better show.

The Unwanted Undead Adventurer

This one isn’t even worth talking about, so here’s a brief synopsis, then I’ll add some commentary, and then we’ll all move on with our lives. 

Rentt, a beloved but mediocre adventurer in a fantasy town, gets lost in the mysterious labyrinth that all adventurers explore for personal gain, gets waxed by a dragon, and awakens as a shitty-looking CGI skeleton. He notices, though, that he’s able to level up better as a skeleton than he did as a human, and with the more monsters he defeats, the more he evolves into something closer to human. The rest isn’t really worth discussing.

If I’m being honest, I should’ve dropped this show much sooner. It looks kinda lousy most of the time, the plot (inasmuch as there even is one) is boring, character designs are forgettable (except for Rentt’s closest ally, Lorraine, holy hell) and it seems wholly uninterested in actually building its own setting. If it returns for a second season, I won’t be there, nor will I feel like I’m missing anything. Each episode felt like a chore to watch. I probably only saw it through because 1) I liked looking at Lorraine, I know what I’m about, and 2) I didn’t want to lump it in with the shows I did drop. The Unwanted Undead Adventurer isn’t as patently upsetting or frustrating as those three, but it just plain isn’t a very good show.

The Witch and the Beast

This show could have been so much more. I was drawn in by the gorgeous character designs and intriguing blend of Victorian gothic aesthetics and architecture with modern infrastructure, and very quickly disappointed by just about everything else. The first episode is an exceptional proof of concept, and almost everything that follows is an upsetting showcase of what could have been.

The story centers around Ashaf, a languid, chain-smoking agent of the governing church with a big-ass coffin strapped to his back, and his partner Guideau, a snarling hyena in a young woman’s body, as they investigate abuses of magic across the continent in search of nefarious witches. Guideau in particular has a bone to pick with witches, as the body they presently inhabit is the result of a witch’s curse, and they remain in furious pursuit of the one who cursed them. The curse can be temporarily undone by a kiss with a witch, allowing Guideau’s true body, a hulking brute confined to the coffin, to escape and wreak havoc. Meaning that on a few occasions we get a girl-on-girl kiss followed by a big dude wrecking shit. There’s also other investigations of serial killings, necromancy, and a cursed sword, and here’s hoping you like those, because the coffin breaks are few and far between.

This wasn’t great! By the third episode I had the sneaking suspicion that the animation talent on hand just wasn’t enough to support the aesthetic. While the character designs are exceptional, almost everyone looks awful in any shot that isn’t completely focused on them. This is especially true of Guideau, who looks so inconsistently off-model from one shot to the next that I’m still not entirely sure what they’re supposed to look like, and that’s kind of unforgivable when we’re talking about a main character. Everything looks too dim and too shiny at the same time, and action scenes look like shit more often than they look interesting. I can see so many flickers of something excellent (or at least really good-looking) in Witch and the Beast, and everything else that keeps those flickers from actually igniting makes it so much more frustrating to watch. Maybe just read the manga instead; the panels I've seen from it were uniformly gorgeous.

Actually, yeah, you should probably just read the manga, because for a season of anime, the pacing is atrocious too. It’s clearly trying to angle for a monster-of-the-week format, but each of these mini-arcs is a little too dense for a single episode, so multiple episodes are dedicated to these one-off curiosities, most of which do nothing to advance the plot or show off what the show does best. And if one of them isn’t particularly interesting, you’re saddled with it for the next two weeks like you've been stuck munching on a mealy apple. And I know you can only adapt so much in a 12-episode season, but the decision to end the season on a flashback arc and a lore dump was baffling. That’s not world-building, that’s lazy, and it made the show’s existing pacing issues feel that much more inane.

I feel like I was sold a false bill of goods. I can only imagine how the mangaka feels about this. Dull and uninspiring all around. What a waste.

The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic

Isekai, unassuming high school boy gains a unique power, impending war with the Demon Lord, yadda yadda yadda. The Wrong Way to Use Healing Magic isn’t anything new or special by any means, nor is it particularly well-animated or -paced, but at its best it’s silly and charming enough that it made a nice, brainless palate cleanser on Fridays.

Usato, your standard quiet high schooler, ends up walking home on a rainy evening with the popular, attractive student council president and VP, when an isekai portal happens. It turns out that it was just the seito-kai that was invited along for the ride (and President Suzune, as it turns out, is fucking psyched to get to be in an isekai), and Usato got caught along with them. When tested for magical aptitude, Suzune and VP Kazuki hit the jackpot with electric and light affinities, respectively, but things go awry when Usato’s reading turns up with healing magic. Terror strikes the palace as the intimidating dommy-mommy Captain Rose barges in to spirit Usato away from his new friends and into her squadron of goons to train him as a combat medic.

As character comedy goes, this one is actually pretty solid at times. Shogo Sakata is plenty of fun as the put-upon, lippy Usato (a much louder role than Chainsaw Man’s Aki Hayakawa), and Atsuko Tanaka (Major Kusanagi herself!) is a blast as the terrifying Rose, an uncompromising slave driver of a drill sergeant with a secret soft side. The dynamic between them is great, too; Usato is over Rose’s shit from the beginning and isn’t afraid to talk back to her, but before you know it, this transforms into friendly banter as Rose clearly takes a shine to Usato and knows he can handle any punishment she doles out. Suzune’s also a bunch of fun now that she’s broken away from having to be the competent, popular girl at school and gets to fully lean into being a complete dork.

Wrong Way also works decently as an isekai, because it makes an effort to stay rooted in high fantasy rather than fall back on JRPG mechanics, meaning there are no stat screens! It also avoids the trappings of wish-fulfillment isekai series by having Usato start out as a regular-ass guy; he’s not a Kirito type, just someone Rose sees as a rough gem in need of cutting. There are no cheat skills or OP weapons or anything, just a kid training every day to get stronger so he can protect the people close to him, and that’s the kind of anime protagonist you should want to be.

For better and for worse, I get serious mid-00s vibes from this one; watch the OP if you don’t believe me. Some of the colors pop uncannily in that early-digipaint-era way, and the animation is pretty middling; the most fluid animation we see is whenever Suzune is acting like a creep. Much like those mid-00s anime, though, Wrong Way may have benefited from being weekly (or twice as long) rather than seasonal. There’s a ton of planting with very little payoff, and it doesn’t feel like the actual scope of the story has even been addressed yet. We don’t even learn why the series has the name it does until someone literally says it aloud in the 11th episode. I may have to reevaluate this season after a possible second, if we ever get one, because this doesn’t stand too well on its own.

Of the anime in this “mixed bags” segment, I’d say I enjoyed Wrong Way the most, but it still had enough problems for me to keep it here. It’s not a particularly bad anime, but it’s not especially good either. I guess we can slot it into what Hazel refers to as “good mid.”

On Hold: 

Cherry Magic! Thirty Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard?! (three episodes watched)

Man, what a title. That was the main draw for this BL series, which on paper is basically a gay version of the Mel Gibson vehicle What Women Want. 

Adachi (a surname that will always make me laugh thanks to Persona 4), a gloomy salaryman, has hit the big 3-0 without getting any, and now he can somehow read anyone’s thoughts just by making physical contact with them. Just as he laments that this is his life now, he accidentally bumps into his handsome, popular coworker, Kurosawa, whom he learns has been harboring a massive crush on Adachi this whole time. Well dang, what now? Kurosawa’s a really nice, thoughtful dude, but Adachi’s never even thought about being with a man before! And isn’t there something wrong with already knowing this secret? How can he even go into the office and look Kurosawa in those big, handsome eyes… every single day…

What I’ve seen so far has been pretty solid, if not particularly well animated. The visuals are really my only gripe here; I just put it off for way too long and didn’t have it in me to finish it on time to actually get this thing written and published. Yaoi isn’t my forte, which feels like a shortcoming on my end as a fledgling bisexual, and I’ve already remarked on the solid LGBT representation this past season, so I do plan on hopping back on this one.

I gotta say, the co-leading voice actors put in serious work this season. Adachi is voiced by Chiaki Kobayashi, who continued his role as Stark in Frieren, returned to Mashle as Mash Burnedead, and contributed to Metallic Rouge’s cluttered cast as Noid. Kurosawa’s seiyuu, Ryota Suzuki (of whom I’ll always be a fan for his masterful turn as Yu Ishigami in Kaguya-sama), also held down leading roles in Bang Brave Bang Bravern and The Unwanted Undead Adventurer. They’ve been great in the few episodes of Cherry Magic! that I’ve seen so far, and they’ll be a huge part of what brings me back.

The Gems:

Bang Brave Bang Bravern

I feel like the mark of a perfectly audacious piece of media is in the moments where I find myself incredulously shouting “WHAT THE FUCK AM I WATCHING” at the screen, and Bravern made me do that at least once per episode. I have so many things to say about what makes this show great but all of it can be summed up as “it fucks so goddamn hard.”

A joint military exercise in Hawaii between Japanese and American mech pilots goes south as a sudden invasion by metalloid aliens portends certain doom for humanity. Just in the nick of time, though, a bombastic, autonomous mech named Bravern arrives from space and insists that ace pilot Isami Ao take his reins. Isami reluctantly agrees, and to his consternation, Bravern goes full tokusatsu on everyone’s asses, complete with fully-diegetic theme music, and keeps the threat at bay. With Bravern continuing to pester him to act as a pilot, Isami is forced to take up the mantle of a reluctant hero as everyone rallies around Bravern to save Earth. Tagging along is blond-haired, blue-eyed American pilot Lewis Smith, who gets to live out all of his Top Gun fantasies, right down to the latent homosexuality.

That last point isn’t a projection or anything: This show is legitimately gay as hell, and it rules. Bravern’s feelings towards Isami feel far more romantic than what you’d expect from a literal robot, and his description of how it felt to have Isami pilot him for the first time, as relayed to a grim-faced military council, is riddled with hilarious innuendo. Isami struggles not only with shouldering the burden of needing to be a hero to all of humanity, but also being beset on both sides by a loud, insistent mecha and a dewy-eyed gaijin, both of whom very well seem to want to get in his pants. Intricate rituals punctuate Isami and Lewis’ angsty relationship as these broad-shouldered, muscular men grow ever closer. It’s also worth reiterating that Isami is voiced by Ryota Suzuki, who also voiced Kurosawa in Cherry Magic!, and that may not have even been his gayest role this season. I’m not super well-versed in mecha as a genre, but I do know that there’s a lot of Warrior’s Bond-type stuff in these series, and Bravern lays it on thick. And hard.

This show looks killer, by the way. CGI implementation in 2D anime is still a touchy subject, but Bravern features some of the best I’ve ever seen. Simple cel-shading goes a long way to the point where, outside of some uncanny motion, Bravern himself feels perfectly blended into the hand-drawn animation. Mecha designs range from realistic military-style tech to otherworldly sentient robots, and battle sequences run the same gamut as the stakes rise. As goofy as all of the above may sound, it’s committed to being a grandiose, big-time mecha showcase.

This is as good as camp gets in anime; Bravern does for the mecha genre what Akiba Maid War did for yakuza film pastiche (I have also heard positive comparisons to Samurai Flamenco, which I’ll have to get on ASAP). It’s an excellent mecha show in its own right, and wildly hilarious to boot. Bravern himself is very genre-savvy and seemingly a bit of an otaku himself; he loves acting like a mecha hero, to everyone else’s chagrin. Several of the villains (also mechanical beings, voiced by an all-star seiyuu roster that includes Kenjiro Tsuda, the aforementioned Atsuko Tanaka, and Rie Kugimiya) are total dorks themselves. A CIA interrogator tries to waterboard a mecha at one point. Bravern is a deeply silly show, but its heart is planted as firmly on its sleeve as its tongue is in its cheek: For as wacky as it can get, the story still unfolds with a straight face and excellent emotional beats. 

This show also has the most unskippable ED of any anime since Chainsaw Man dropped a new one every week. I will not say what happens. You cannot predict what it is. Just watch it. One of the top YouTube comments on that video says “When I saw this ending after episode 2, I thought I was going crazy.” That’s a ringing endorsement.

Chained Soldier

On the heels of 100 Girlfriends completely rewiring my brain, I was raring for some more good old-fashioned anime trash. I was told that there would be plenty this season, but you can consult the “dropped” section to see how well that worked out for me. Chained Soldier came with some significant hype, and soon enough into the first episode I realized that I’d actually skimmed through this manga before (don’t ask why), so I was on board immediately. Now here’s some nice trashy fun.

The world is in peril thanks to creatures called Shuuki that can advance on our world via portals from another dimension. Women primarily lead the charge against these monsters, as this dimension produces a special fruit that can lend them (and not men) otherworldly powers to help them in the fight. Yuuki, a perfectly normal young man, ends up in grave danger as he stumbles into a portal, where he is saved by the beautiful Kyouka, a commander who is able to subjugate Shuuki at will and use them to fight others. In a bind, she asks Yuuki if she can subjugate him, which he agrees to by licking her finger and transforming into a monster himself, at her beck and call. Because of his utility in battle, Yuuki is enlisted into her squad of baddies (and also an 11-year-old), living in their home as a caretaker and answering directly to Kyouka as her “slave.”

I know. Hear me out.

I put “slave” in scare quotes because Chained Soldier fortunately isn’t going full Shield Hero on us; this arrangement has a give-and-take baked in. See, every time Yuuki completes his service, Kyouka (or whomever else takes advantage of this anomaly) is compelled to carry out whatever suitable “reward” springs from his unconscious, and this is where the ecchi kicks in. Sometimes it’s a kiss, and sometimes it’s something a little more; the reward corresponds to the length and intensity of Yuuki’s contributions to battle, so the heat can turn up in the form of, say, clothed face-sitting, a good scrubbing in the bath, or some nice, casual CBT. All of this is to say that “slave” is a bit of a buzzword here: It’s more of a dom/sub situationship with a lot of extra steps.

Yes, just about everything that isn’t an action setup is full-on harem trash, and Chained Soldier lays it on thick, right down to full-on nudity. Nothing about this show resembles high art, but I can’t help but admire such a high level of commitment to its aesthetic, including the sleaze. It fully commits to the bit and doesn’t even bother lampshading its own trashiness. Chained Soldier knows what it’s about, and I respect that. It also has the good sense not to sexualize the youngest girl, which is a point in its favor that I can’t award a couple other shows previously discussed.

And while this show is plenty fun, the action sequences often excellent, and the character designs usually delightful, there’s not actually a whole lot going on here. As I said with Mashle, I know that battle manga like this can take a minute to really get cooking, and as I said with Witch and the Beast, 12 episodes may not always be a sufficient runtime to adapt enough to break ground, but the debut season feels more like a proof of concept than anything else. That being said, Chained Soldier’s manga has a very effusive audience, and its praises don’t seem to entirely be about the boobs and butts, so I’ll wait patiently for the second season. I think it’s earned that much.

Delicious in Dungeon

This is the one I’m having the hardest time writing about because it so confidently and so completely speaks for itself that anything I could add would feel like scattering sawdust at the beach. Dungeon Meshi (I refuse to call it by its official English title) is a widely beloved manga among those who’ve read it, and for Studio Trigger to do an honest-to-goodness manga adaptation for the first time might as well be front page news among anime fans. 

The story follows Laios, the deeply weird human hero, as he delves back into a bizarre and mysterious dungeon to rescue his sister Falin from the belly of a dragon, along with his misfit party: The neurotic half-elven mage Marcille, the temperamental halfling rogue Chilchuck, and the dwarven warrior-slash-chef Senshi. The party is frequently low on supplies, so to survive the trip they’ll need to subsist on the most abundant resource in the dungeon: Monsters. Senshi’s aptitude in the kitchen helps ensure that everything is edible and sufficiently tasty, regardless of how nasty the monster it came from may have been. With monster obstructions out of the way and their bellies filled, our party delves deeper into the dungeon as the mysteries deepen in kind.

I love the character dynamics in this so goddamn much. Marcille and Chilchuck are frequently put off by the dubious monster food presented to them, but their consternation is worsened by the fact that Laios’ fascination with the monsters it came from annoys the shit out of them. I referred to him as “deeply weird,” but that doesn’t begin to describe his absolute galaxy brain, and I mean it as a term of endearment. Laios is deeply knowledgeable and curious about the fauna in the dungeon, and not just how they taste: He is vocally curious about how certain monster attacks may feel, sings along with siren songs, and even keeps a hardcover bestiary inside his breastplate. He’s one of those people you turn to if you have a question on a hyperspecific subject, but you have to be careful how you ask it or else you’re trapped for the next two hours. And I love him for it.

Even putting the comedy aside, there is a fascinating human element at play in Dungeon Meshi, and I can tell that that surface has barely even been scratched yet. Marcille is just as dogged in her pursuit of saving Falin as Laios is, maybe even moreso (remember what I keep saying about LGBT representation this season?). Chilchuck continues to convince himself that he’s only in the job for his own personal gain, but you can see that mask slipping. And I still wanna know what Senshi’s deal is. Even with the five major players I listed, there’s an increasingly deep roster surrounding them—showcasing a broad spectrum of races and ethnicities, both real and fantastical—each with their own histories and motivations, and I cannot wait to see how they play out and interact with one another. There seem to be much deeper themes at play here as well as we learn more about perceptions and grudges between differing races, oppositional magics, clashing ideologies, and the monetary incentives that drive both the dungeon’s exploration and its very existence. I’m here for it.

I’ve been holding off on reading the manga until the season is up in June (though I could crack any day), but I know a loving adaptation when I see one. Not that Trigger ever slacks off in the animation department, but they absolutely brought their A-game here. Everyone looks bouncy and cartoony in the way only Trigger can pull off while still looking as close as possible to Ryoko Kui’s source material (as far as I can tell). As with Frieren, the action sequences aren’t frequent, nor are they entirely what the show is about, but they look incredible every single time. And the food, of course, looks incredible, no matter how weird. This is practically a cooking anime and a fantasy dungeon anime at the same time, and both aspects are visually on point at all times.

I’m obviously speaking from my own bubble as one of the six people who still use Tumblr in 2024, but I rarely see new anime make a splash like this on social media every single week, and the ones that I do are usually the monster shonen hits like Chainsaw Man or Jujutsu Kaisen. Dungeon Meshi deserves the exposure and success it’s attained, and I’m excited to see it continue. I’d easily slot this right up there with Bravern as one of the best new anime of the season.

A Sign of Affection

I’ve seen a hell of a lot of shonen slice-of-life romances in the past year and change, so a nice fluffy shoujo like this was an excellent palate cleanser. There were a hell of a lot of Big Action Setpieces and panicky teens and grim dungeon crawlers this season, and at the end of the week I wanted to unwind with a bunch of pretty twenty-somethings falling in love with each other.

The show centers on Yuki, a young woman living with congenital hearing loss, making do at a public college after growing up at a school for the deaf. Though she’s able to get by with LINE messages and lip reading, she’s unprepared when a foreigner asks for help, but she’s saved by a handsome and mysterious young man named Itsuomi. He’s able to help out, and takes an interest in her when he realizes his fellow undergrad is deaf, and Yuki takes an interest in kind because he’s really goddamn hot. It turns out that he’s a polyglot and an avid world-traveler, but sign language is not in his purview. This mutual interest sparks the concern of her childhood friend, Oushi, one of the few people in her life who already use sign language, who wants to be sure that nothing untoward is happening. And it isn’t, because this is just a really lovely, low-stakes romance story.

This is pure, unfiltered shoujo at its best. Yuki’s internal monologue is peppered with flowery prose, and everything and everyone looks soft and beautiful. Fashionable, doe-eyed women and pillowy-lipped ikemen abound (seriously, holy shit, the lips on these boys) as the scope widens and the main love interests’ friends explore their own possible love stories. Itsuomi is very much of the “mysterious boy” archetype you’ll find in romance stories in this demographic, but he’s not hiding any sort of dark past like you’d typically expect; he’s just an interesting guy who keeps his personal life close to the vest. He’s a self-appointed world citizen who loves learning about how people of all cultures live their lives, and in Yuki he sees someone within his home turf who happens to live in her own world entirely. And it’s easy to see his forward behavior with Yuki as infantilizing at first (Oushi sure does, and I’ll get back to him in a second), but as they grow closer Itsuomi quickly becomes much more considerate of her boundaries and learns to accommodate her as he studies sign language and gestures that help ensure her comfort. This is a story about Yuki’s horizons broadening just as much as it is about Itsuomi wanting to be let into Yuki’s narrow world, and that sort of synergy makes for some exceptional romance.

A Sign of Affection deserves some credit for refusing to shy away from Yuki’s disability and making a point of depicting her world as one that does little to accommodate her. Very few people in her daily life ever bothered to learn sign language, she relies on a friend to take notes during lectures, and work is hard to come by. It’s an honest depiction that makes an effort not to be exploitative, which is a breath of fresh air. Not only that, but there’s some interesting meta-commentary in there: The only major conflict in the story stems from Oushi’s jealousy, and his reservations about Itsuomi possibly “taking advantage of” Yuki almost feel like he believes that he’s the only one who knows what’s best for her just because he’s done the bare minimum to accommodate her. He thinks he’s coming from a good place, but he winds up accidentally infantilizing her in exactly the way he thinks Itsuomi might. That’s a particularly interesting bit of irony!

I’ve seen enough shonen-oriented romcoms where an unassuming Regular Guy gets flustered as a way-too-casual girl pushes his buttons (hell, I’ve already reviewed two of those this season), so it’s nice to see the formula flipped for a shoujo as Yuki and her best friend Rin blush and squee over Itsuomi and his coworker Kyouya, respectively. A Sign of Affection isn’t afraid to get a little silly with it, either; plenty of these moments are punctuated by characters’ faces going low-detail or full chibi, and they are cute as shit every single time.

This one was just cozy as hell. If you’re into this sort of thing, swaddle yourself in it and bask.

Solo Leveling

I let this one collect dust after the third episode and didn’t pick it back up until the season was almost up, and honestly, I was kinda dreading it: The trailers didn’t look too promising, the show was slow to start, and it looked like yet another derivative JRPG-style dungeon crawler that managed to get popular. Turns out, nah, this show actually kinda fucks and the web novel series and webtoon it’s based on are popular for a reason. The story is nothing special, don’t get me wrong, but it’s a perfectly serviceable turn-your-brain-off action spectacle with a bit more lying beneath the surface.

In a modern-day South Korea where portals to mysterious dungeons open up and threaten the populace, those who can brave the dungeons, known as hunters, are an invaluable human resource. Once someone is assigned a grade as a hunter, they have that grade for life, barring some rare occurrences. Sung Jinwoo is at the lowest rung on that ladder as an E-rank, incapable of improvement, assigned the epithet “the weakest hunter of all mankind.” He mostly shows up to portal raids as a warm body to fill a quota, and one such job goes haywire as most of the raid party, Jinwoo included, is brutally slaughtered in an arcane secondary dungeon within a portal. He somehow wakes up in a hospital, unharmed, and able to access a digital menu before his eyes that exhorts him to do the One Punch Man workout every day, lest he incur punishment. He gets hilariously chadly in the span of a few days in the hospital, including an inexplicable haircut, and finds access to dungeons only he can enter and levels up within this new system.

This one gets off to a slow start and may have benefited from a longer premiere like Oshi no Ko or Frieren, but once the table is fully set, Solo Leveling really starts to cook. Jinwoo’s titular leveling process is a blast from one fight to the next, and as he moves to work in the dungeons that other hunters can access, it turns out he’s been training with the weights on. He’s suddenly fighting way above his pay grade, and after staving off attacks from hunters taking advantage of portals for nefarious ends, he is recruited by an ambitious corporate scion to make some real coin and establish an independent association of hunters.

While it can feel like there’s a whole bunch of table-setting between portal sequences, it’s some smart worldbuilding on Solo Leveling’s end to establish how portal hunting became a central pillar of this society, and doubly so how political and capitalist interests can leave a wide berth for corruption and bad actors. If there’s money to be made in hunting, of course people will find ways to make even more at the expense of others, both at the corporate and individual levels. There’s a lot of talk in there about “survival of the fittest” and “natural selection” and that… makes me nervous.

Those are terms that can be used to justify immoral actions in the name of money, sure, but Jinwoo also uses them to justify his own process. To what end is he constantly improving himself? Sure, he's doing what he can to provide for his younger sister and their ailing mother, but I see less and less humanity in him as this goes on. There are constant hints at something far more sinister at play than just a dude getting stronger for himself, not the least of which being “the system,” the UI that implores him to keep taking on these “quests.” Something, or someone, seems to be guiding him. Whenever another hunter turns on Jinwoo, of course his self-defense instincts kick in, but system pop-ups instruct him to defeat X number of hostiles like it’s a normal video game scenario. There’s something eerily depersonalized about these encounters, despite them being full-on mortal combat, that gives me serious Ender’s Game vibes. Consider me intrigued.

I’d heard that the Solo Leveling manhwa’s main draw was its visuals, and though I had my doubts early on, I'm sold now. This is a pretty solid presentation! Hiroyuki Sawano turned in yet another banger soundtrack to punctuate all the action setpieces, helping to stitch together a fairly complete tapestry. Said setpieces are exhilarating and almost impressively bloody, and while the animation is nothing impressive in the day-to-day, it goes absolutely batshit when the gloves come off. Movement is inhumanly fluid and the visuals can go into the same loose, psychedelic territories we’ve seen in the likes of Mob Psycho and the second season of Jujutsu Kaisen. If this is the new meta for shonen action, I’m not complaining.

By all rights, this is a pretty decent show, but if I’m being honest, this one just hasn’t stuck with me much. And that’s fine! Sometimes I just wanna see some nutty action stuff and move on with my day. Solo Leveling hits that spot perfectly, and I'll be right back there when it returns for its next season.

‘Tis Time for “Torture,” Princess

I was surprised to learn that the gag manga this is based on, with such a seemingly simple premise, has been running for well over 200 chapters and counting. As the anime progressed, I was far more pleasantly surprised to learn that it actually works.

In a standard anime fantasy world where the forces of good are fighting the demonic Hellhorde, an unnamed warrior princess and her talking enchanted sword are taken prisoner and subjected to torture as they’re squeezed for intel. Said “torture,” as the title’s scare quotes would suggest, is mildly unconventional, as the demon baddie inquisitor, aptly named Torture Tortura, attempts to ply the princess by presenting her with tantalizingly delicious-looking food that she can only partake in if she coughs up some info. Naturally, the princess caves every single time, but her intel is often inane and useless, so the “torture” continues. It’s not all food, though: The princess is soon held out of arm’s reach of adorable baby animals by a gyaru beastgirl, pampered into submission by a spa-loving giantess, and is faced with a tsundere vampire faildaughter, who… tries. 

And you’d think that would be it; the joke wears thin and you move onto something else. Before you realize it, though, something’s changed: The princess and her captors are quickly becoming friends. The premise almost feels perfunctory: These inquisitors are actual people just doing their jobs, and whatever happens after the princess’ myriad confessions is fair game. There’s no malice or animosity, even during the “torture” sessions themselves: Everyone will have a blast and grow closer as friends, and then the princess will voluntarily go back to her bedless cell. It’s like Sam and Ralph after they clock out, except they’re almost always off the clock. Everyone is genuinely looking out for each other in all directions, and the only thing that keeps the torture going is the need for a status quo to return to, even as it grows more elastic. If anything, Time for "Torture" is a good example of committing to the bit without having to necessarily rely on it.

The real irony in all of this is that it becomes increasingly apparent that the princess is having her needs met in captivity far better than she ever did back home. In her proud proclamations about how she’ll never cave to the temptations before her (shortly before she does just that), the princess often talks about her upbringing and her time as the head of an imperial legion, but these stories often betray her lack of friendship or any of the little things that make life worth living. Her life as royalty was one of isolation and deprivation, to the point where she finds more freedom and fulfillment as a prisoner. She truly lives in a society.

Hellholm, on the other hand, has a surprisingly healthy approach to things like work-life balance, food, and leisure, and its most valuable prisoner is no exception. The Hell-Lord himself is a surprising exemplar of this; for as much as he looks and talks like your standard terrifying JRPG demon king, he’s a surprisingly good dude! He looks after his family, employees, and even the captive princess as if they are all one and the same; he exhibits strong principles and an aversion to conflict, sees to his employees' needs and wants alike, and is a supportive, loving father to his unbelievably precious little daughter (who also serves as a “torturer,” to the princess’ delight). He’s also a big time anime dork, and even bonds with a knight attempting to rescue the princess over their shared otakudom before sending him off peacefully. As “villains” go, he’s top tier.

Time for "Torture" is nothing groundbreaking by any stretch, but it’s a cute, silly time and it plays with anime fantasy tropes in the same way a six-month-old German shepherd “plays” with a cheap stuffed toy. How long the premise holds up is entirely up to you, but I had a lot of fun with it. I have no idea how this ended up being one of the better shows this season, but I guess it just scratched the right itch for me.

[sirhamburrger]

chapter 1: you don’t buy drinks at a gala

double life [kuroo x f!reader]

word count: 1247 || prologue (series masterlist) || next

tetsuro smiles politely and shakes the hand of one of his major stakeholders, subtly chancing a glance towards the de facto centerpiece of the ballroom. it's a majestic marble bust of some really old guy from greece, carved by a slightly less old guy from greece (still old). by the end of tonight, it'll probably end up in some rich businessman's private collection.

that is, if it doesn't cause an international incident tonight in this very hotel building.

his intel from various sources, including kenma and akaashi, says these master-thief wannabes have been planning this for months now, and the mediocre henchman he caught ahold of didn't even have to be tortured before he spilled. he noticed the security the second he walked in. he knows every man on the roster, and he knows these men aren't on the roster.

too easy, right? much too easy. the bad guys show up to steal the oversized paperweight. he pretends to be scared for a moment while yaku and bokuto swoop in and take them out. he bids the highest amount for it and boom - he's got a shiny new statue and a nice casualty-free night. everyone is happy.

“good evening, kuroo.”

and it looks like his evening just got all that much better.

he turns around and there she is, looking annoyed like she doesn't want to be here. and yet as the heiress to her own fortune, she's here anyway, stuck in the same boat as he is. she's breathtaking in her gown, the fabric hugging her curves just right.

“good evening, sweetheart,” he breathes. “you look stunning tonight.”

“yeah, well, i'll see you at the next stupid gala,” she mutters, already walking away. “you know i only do this to satisfy the tabloids, anyway.”

sadly, it's true. as two of the richest young people in gotham city, their non-existent relationship has been the subject of numerous magazines. he's tried to make the rumors true - on more than one occasion - but she just seems… cold. distant.

but tonight is the night this all changes.

hopefully.

“wait!” he finds himself calling out. 

she turns her head, looking surprised as his face reddens. her expression quickly morphs into one of impatience. 

“spit it out already, rooster-head. i’ve got other overconfident millionaires to say my perfunctory greetings to.” she crosses her arms over her chest, waiting expectantly.

“damn, she kinda just ate you up.” kenma yawns, and seconds later tetsuro hears the annoying sound of chips being crunched loudly - right into his ear, no less. “better hurry it up, casanova, they're going to give the signal in approximately eighty seconds.”

irritated, he nods his head just enough for the earpiece to pick up on his movement. “let me buy you a drink tonight, how about that?” he says in what he hopes is a nonchalant tone, praying she didn't notice him nodding to no one in particular like a psycho.

she fixes him with an expression which practically screams, are you serious? 

“you don't buy drinks at a gala, smartass.”

“my mistake!” he yelps, trying to maintain his composure. “let me just - grab-” he snatches two flutes of champagne off the tray of a passing waiter, almost knocking the poor man over, and he swear he sees her lips quirk upwards at the slip-up. not quite what he was going for, he thinks, but it's definitely a start.

“thank you,” she murmurs, a twinkle in her eye. their fingers brush as he hands the glass to her by the stem, and slowly he starts to lead her to the middle of the ballroom. thankfully, she follows. as they pass under the largest central chandelier, he's about to make the bold move of wrapping his arm around her waist, but then he hears kenma inhale sharply, and yaku’s slow, rattling breathing.

something’s not right.

“talk to me,” he mutters without moving his lips. “what do you see?”

the harsh clacking of a keyboard fills his ears. “we have visuals on unidentified trespassers. they're positioned in the gallery, near the bolts holding up the chandeliers. one well-placed shot and there'll be a shit-load of chandelier raining down on everyone on the ground floor.”

not good.

“yaku, where are you?” he says aloud now, urgency filling his voice. she looks at him like he's lost his mind, then turns to look up at where he's looking.

a masked gunman squeezes his way through the crowd to the railing of the gallery. he cocks his gun, aims.

and fires.

tetsuro growls out a swear, pushing her out of the way as a mountain of metal and crystal crashes down on top of them. he hears the slight choking noise she lets out as the impact of his tackle knocks the air our of her lungs, feels the sharp pain of a piece of broken crystal jabbing into his right arm. his left leg is pinned under the weight of the chandelier and he curses.

horrified, she wrenches herself out from under him, breathing heavily as she backs away slowly. “stay here, i'll get help, ‘kay?”

“go,” he says through gritted teeth. he watches her disappear into the panicked crowd, waiting until the last of the civilians has almost left to try extricating himself from under the chandelier.

“bro, that’s a nasty cut you got there!” bokuto swoops through the double doors over the heads of some awestruck finance guys. “yaku’s out of commission, by the way. he got shot with some kind of sedative.”

“isn't he, like, the flash?” tetsuro says dryly, wincing slightly as the kryptonian lifts the huge light fixture with his superhuman strength. rolling to the side, he lies on the ground, catching his breath. bokuto offers him a hand, and he grabs on, allowing his friend to pull him up. he presses a button on his watch, and the suit materialises over his body like a second skin. “dodging attacks is kind of his thing.”

“he says he didn't even hear or feel it coming.” bokuto signals to akaashi that it's safe, the cyborg leaps down from the gallery, sending dust spiraling into the still air as he lands. “we took out the henchmen, but there's something off.”

it was never really about the statue, was it?

just then a figure breaks through the drywall to their left, groaning loudly as they lay in the rubble. the huge cloud of dust obstructs their view almost completely. 

“you think?” akaashi says dryly. tetsuro fires up his stun-gun.

“identify yourse-”

“shut up, asshat.” the gruff, annoyed voice carries through the still air, albeit hoarser than usual. “joker and ace are waiting outside, by the way. i hope they get you.”

“nice to see you again, nightwing,” he says, deadpan, as akaashi goes to check on her. “glad to know you haven't changed a bit since the last time we met.”

her escrima sticks - batons wired with high-voltage tasers - lie on the floor beside her, and she sweeps them up into her grasp as she gets to her feet, walking back in the direction she was thrown from. “neither have you,” she retorts. “good to know. now, are you just going to stand back and watch as i take them on myself?”

tetsuro balls his fists up. she’s damn near insufferable when she gets like this. 

superman laughs. “damn, she kinda just ate you up-”

“shut up, bokuto.”

he steels his resolve, and they all follow her into the inevitable danger that awaits.

author's notes:

so this is a miraculous ladybug kind of situation ig?? where kuroo loves reader and hates nightwing and reader hates kuroo and loves batman

ace isn't a canon dc villain as far as i know, but you'll see who it is later :) i'm kinda proud of this idea

not much to say tbh

TAGLIST: @kr1nqu, @weezerbby, @honeytwo (open, send an ask to be added!)

© sirhamburrger 2024

[gretavanmaas]

Angel Straight From Hell (Part I)

|Pairings: Jake Kiszka x fReader

|4.2k Words

| 18+ only! Minors do not interact!!!

| Warnings: 18+, smut, drinking, language, angst, praise kink, fingering, masturbation, and probably spelling and grammar errors lol. Let me know if I missed anything!

You were part of a trio and not in a third wheel-y kind of way in a good way. In a way that two best friends is better than one. Danny and Sammy had always been your best friends. Well at least since you were old enough to pick your friends. You guys had grown up together, the three of you had been a package deal for as long as you could remember. You three were basically inseparable. Hell, they even convinced you to move out to Nashville a year after they did. Danny’s family loved you but the Kiszkas had all but taken you in. You’d spent countless nights crashing on their couch, holidays with them, and gone on many family vacations with them. 

And here you were rushing to pack for yet another vacation with the Kiszka boys and Danny. This time sneaking away to the Smoky Mountains for a week. You were getting off the grid and reconnecting with each other and nature. You were running around your apartment grabbing your final items off of your checklist. “Phone charger, underwear, sweatshirt…” you mutter to yourself mentally going over everything you had packed in your head. “Shit toothbrush!” you say rushing back to your bathroom. You do one final visual sweep of your bedroom and rush out of the door. You were running late but not by too much. And the boys were used to your tardiness at this point anyways. Besides, at least one of them was usually running behind as well and nine times out of ten it was Josh. 

You and Josh had gotten close over the years and he had also become one of your best friends but for some reason Jake had never liked you. And you didn’t mind because you didn’t care much for him either. He had always been an arrogant smug little shit. You don’t know why you didn’t get along just that it had always been this way. Your disdain for each other had gotten worse in your adulthood. The two of you constantly bickering and shooting each other dirty looks and as you pulled into Josh’s driveway it appeared this trip wasn’t starting any differently.

“God bless, have you ever thought about being on time once in your life?” Jake rolled his eyes and yanked your suitcase from your hand tossing it in the back of Josh’s Jeep. “Good morning to you too asshole,” you said sharply. 

Before either of you have the chance to say anything else you feel yourself being pulled into a hug and immediately know the embrace. “JOSHYYY!” you say pulling him in tighter. “Good morning mama! I’m so glad you’re coming with us. Gonna be such a great time” he says with a toothy grin. “Me too, I think it’s gonna be so good to get away for a little bit. Thanks for always letting me crash” you smiled back. “Never crashing my dear, you’re always invited,” Josh replied, squeezing your hand. “Speak for yourself,” Jake scoffed, walking up toward the passenger door. “Are we ready to hit the road now that we’re all finally here?” Jake said, staring daggers at you. 

“Hey you,” Sammy says, pulling you into a hug. “Morning, Sammy!” you say squeezing him. “My turn!” Danny shouts before wrapping you in a bear hug and spinning you around. “Hi Daniel,” you giggle. “You ready to be stuck between the two of us for four hours?” Danny teases. “As I’ll ever be,” you sigh back sarcastically.

The three of you pile into the back of the Jeep as Josh and Jake take their respective spots up front. “We ready to roll?” Josh asks. Everyone nods their heads and you all begin your trip. You start to settle in and relax. You had meant it when you said it’d be good to get away for a while. Work had been beyond stressful recently and you hadn’t gotten to spend much time with your best friends recently. This getaway to the Smokies with them was exactly what you needed even if that meant spending a week with Jake as well. The drive up there was a normal roadtrip with your favorite people, retelling stories of road trips past, playing the license plate game, and screaming your favorite songs way too loudly.

You all pulled off in a small town before you reached your cabin and went to the local grocery store to stock up for the week. Jake took the cart and started down the aisles. You knew he’d be cooking most of the meals and as much as you hated to compliment him, he was an incredible chef. He had a way with food in the same way he did with music, always piecing just the right things together to make a masterpiece. You wander the aisles picking up junk food, you turn a corner and get smacked in the hip with a cart. “Fuck!” you exclaim looking up to see Jake with an annoyed look on his face. He moves to go around you and you grab the cart stopping him forcing him to look up at you. “Really Jacob, not even an I’m sorry?” you say. “Whatever, maybe just watch where you’re going,” he says, dropping his eyes back down to his shopping list. “Unbelievable, truly unbelievable,” you spit, pushing away from his cart and walking toward the checkout. 

You meet up with Sammy as you approach the cashier dumping your purchases on the conveyor. “Your brother really is a piece of work ya know? I just don’t understand how you and Josh turned out so kind and funny and sweet and he turned out so… so… Jake,” you let out a frustrated sigh. Sam lets out a light laugh “I’ll never understand what it is about the two of you that clashes so royally but there’s just something.” “There certainly is,” you reply.

You all finish up in the store and all load back into Josh’s Jeep to drive the last 30 minutes to your secluded cabin. This wasn’t your first time going up to the Smokies since relocating to Tennessee but you were still so in awe of the beauty and serenity of the area every time you came. You watched as the last bar of cell signal dropped off your phone and breathed a sigh of relief knowing that work wouldn’t be able to get a hold of you anymore and the only thing you would be using your phone for this week was to take pictures. 

After what felt like a never ending winding gravel driveway you pull up to the cabin. You all unload your luggage and after putting yours just inside the door you go out to the Jeep and start grabbing the groceries and bringing them in. As you’re stocking the fridge you hear the guys fighting over who gets which bedroom and resolving yourself that you will get whichever one is leftover. You see Danny emerge from one wing of the house and watch as he grabs your luggage and heads over to the other wing. He comes back to the kitchen sitting down at the island bar. “Put your stuff on your bed for you,” he says with a soft smile. “Thank Danny, I appreciate it,” you say, putting the last of the groceries away. 

You check the time on your phone and see it’s a little before 4:00pm. Perfect you think to yourself. “Hey, I am going to settle in and unpack and probably shower and relax before dinner if that’s cool,” you say walking past Danny. “Mmm, sounds good,” he says looking up from the game he was playing on his phone.

You walk back to the wing you saw Danny put your stuff in and notice what appears to be two bedroom doors with a shared bathroom in the middle. One of the bedroom doors is shut so you poke your head in the open one to see your luggage sitting on the bed. You unzip your suitcase to start unpacking. It seemed silly but it was something you did on every vacation since you were young. You liked to feel settled. So you did just that, you pulled out your airpods and started your favorite playlist zoning out as you put your things neatly away into your home for the next week. 

You’re suddenly startled by a loud “Hey!” as you see someone waving their arms in the doorway. You look up annoyed to see Jake standing in your doorway and pull out an airpod. “Yes?” you question. “I just wanted to let you know I’m about to take a quick shower,” he says. “And?” you respond wondering why that would concern you. “And I don’t want you to try to get into the bathroom while I’m in there, the locks to the bedrooms look shoddy,” he says bluntly walking out. And that’s when it clicks the boys had put you in the room next to Jake, sharing a bathroom with him. 

You drop the clothes in your hand and storm into the living room where Sammy and Danny are sitting. “What. The. Fuck?” you whisper shout. “What?” Sam looks up at you with a shit eating grin. “You know exactly what, why the hell am I stuck in a wing of the house sharing a bathroom with him? This was supposed to be a relaxing week where I have fun with you two and Josh and stay as far away from Jake as possible while sharing a house with him,” you say quickly. Danny looks up with an apologetic smile, “Josh wanted the room with the balcony and Sam and I took the room that had two beds in it so that no one else had to share. That just left the other two for you and Jake. I’m sorry.” You feel your frustration start to ease when you hear the explanation that it wasn’t really intentional. “Fuck, well okay it’s not ideal but it’s fine. I’m gonna have a good trip. I'm here with my best friends in a beautiful place. Also it’s not like our paths are gonna cross that much anyways. We’re just sharing the bathroom, it's fine,” you say, trying to reassure yourself. 

You head back to your bedroom and finish unpacking the rest of your stuff. You start gathering your stuff to take a shower and realize you haven’t heard Jake leave the bathroom yet despite him being in there for quite some time. You go out to the hall door since he had mentioned the locks to the bedrooms being less than adequate and bang on the door, “Jake! You almost done in there?” You wait for a minute or so with no response. You knock loudly on the door again, “Jake!” You’re met with silence, you raise your hand to knock a third time when the door swings open. Steam fills the hallway, and out walks Jake. “God patience really isn’t your strong suit is it?” he says. His hair is damp and clinging to his face and neck, he’s fully nude aside from a towel slung low around his hips. Your eyes may have lingered a little longer than they should have. “So no patience and a staring problem huh princess?” he quips. You feel heat rushing to your face. “No, just wanting to take a shower and you were taking an eternity,” you respond, rolling your eyes and quickly pushing past him and into the bathroom. You shut the door behind you and lean your back against the door. What the fuck was that? Princess? Princess. He called you princess. And you kind of fucking liked it?

You took your time in the shower hoping to scrub off whatever feelings that interaction with Jake had stirred up. But the longer you spent trying to erase it from your mind the stronger the feelings it had brought up felt. Fuck, I just need to get laid. That’s what it is, it’s just been a while and any male attention feels good. Just need to take care of myself and then I’ll stop thinking about it. Just need to get off. That’s all. You try to rationalize with yourself in the shower. 

Your hand wanders down as you find your clit and begin to pleasure yourself. The entire time fighting thoughts of Jake that have started to pop up. Everytime you try to fight the thoughts of him, the sight of him just moments ago reappears like it's burned into the backs of your eyelids. You feel yourself nearing your end and give in allowing yourself to think about him. The way his brow furrows when he looks at you annoyed, the way he looked with his hair plastered to his neck, the way the water droplets clung to his skin just above his towel, the way he said princess. And with that the band in your stomach snapped and you were overwhelmed by your release. As you came down you silently cursed yourself for thinking of him as you finished. You wrapped up your shower and threw on some comfy clothes before heading out of the bathroom.

You smell dinner cooking and toss your stuff in your room before heading toward the common area. You greet Danny, Sam, and Josh who are in the living room all sitting on the couch watching some movie they had started while you had been showering. You turn towards the kitchen and see Jake in his element at the stovetop. He’s got his hair tied in a low bun at the base of his neck as he focuses on the ingredients in front of him. 

Against your better judgment, you make your way into the kitchen and lean across the island, “You need help with anything?” you ask. Jake tears his focus away from the stove turning around to meet your gaze and for a split second you swear you see his scowl soften before quickly returning. “Help?” he scoffed, “You’d just get in the way.” You turn around not responding and silently scolding yourself for even trying, you knew better. 

You plop down on the couch next to Sam and curl into his side and shift your focus to the tv, realizing they’re watching The Shining. You should have known this would be the first thing they would pick since Halloween was right around the corner. You zone out for the next 45 minutes until you hear Jake call from the kitchen that dinner was ready. The five of you enjoy a meal around the dining room table and thankfully the tension between you and Jake is kept at a minimum. As dinner wraps up you start collecting everyone's plates and taking them to the kitchen. 

“Daniel and I are going to go start a fire in the pit out back!” Sammy says excitedly. “Please just don’t catch the cabin on fire, I’m gonna clean up the kitchen real quick and then I’ll come out to join y’all,” you giggle starting the sink. “Can I raincheck and do my kitchen duty tomorrow? I haven’t gotten my yoga in and was hoping to do a bit on the balcony before we spent the evening around the fire,” Josh asks you. “Of course Joshy, go find your zen,” you say mimicking a tree pose. “Thanks, Y/N,” Josh chuckles and gives you a quick peck on the cheek before running back to his room.

It was now Jake who stood awkwardly at the kitchen island as you began washing the dishes. “Mind if I help?” he says, making his way around the counter. “I don’t know, you’d probably just get in the way,” you reply, flatly. He lets out a small chuckle, “Yeah okay, I deserved that one.” He starts to clean up his mess from cooking and the two of you clean the kitchen in silence for the next 15 minutes. 

After finishing up you head out to the fire pit where Sammy and Danny have a nice bonfire going. Jake follows you out taking an open seat next to Sammy, and you sit down on a chair between Danny and Sam. Danny reaches over and hands you a white claw. “Well, any big plans for this week gentlemen?” you say cracking open your drink. “I am super excited to go hiking, I hear this area has some super great trails,” Danny replies. Your eyes shift to Sam. “Yeah same,” he replies “but I also brought some art supplies and I’m excited to paint. I haven’t gotten to do that for quite awhile.” “That sounds really nice,” you reply. There’s a beat of silence and your gaze finds Jake. He clears his throat, “Hoping to get some song writing done, have had some riffs bouncing around in my head recently and hoping I’ll be able to fine tune them while we’re here.” You nod. “Hopefully you’ll find the inspiration you’re looking for,” you say softly. Jake's eyes haven’t broken yours yet. “Bajabule, bitches!” Both you and Jake break away from each other’s stares to find his twin walking down to the fire with a solo cup raised in the air. “Welcome to the party, brother,” Sam says, raising his Topo Chico towards Josh. 

The five of you spent the next couple hours joking around the fire and drinking. It felt so good to let loose with your best friends. It reminded you of many nights when you three were in high school and making stupid decisions and you felt your heart swell with gratitude that no matter where life had taken you all, you had still remained this close. “Remember that night in high school that we went to that party at Kara’s family land and they had that huge bonfire? And we were all shitfaced and Michael Jackson came on the speaker?” you say starting to giggle. Sam starts dying laughing, “I absolutely do, keep going, Y/N,” he says between laughs. You continue “And Danny, you cleared the crowd because you wanted to show everyone how good you were at moon walking?” “And I am, for the record, very good at moonwalking,” Danny interjects. “Yeah yeah but then you started and you ate shit in front of everyone?” you and Sam bust into a fit of laughter. “Whatever, we all know if it wasn’t for that stupid branch on the ground I would have looked cool as hell,” Danny says, defending himself. “Daniel, we both know there was no branch involved, just a lot of alcohol and the need to impress Kara,” Sammy responds. 

“Was that the night we all got fucked up because we got confused and all thought someone else was DDing?” Danny asks. “Oh my god, it was. Shit that was a crazy night. Jake, I think you were the one that ended up coming to get us that night, weren’t you?” Sammy questions. Jake looks up from the fire, “Yeah you were all so gone by the time I got there. I got you and Danny loaded up in my car then had to go find Y/N. I had to get her away from that creep Jason that graduated with you guys and literally carry her to the car. He had her cornered and kept trying to convince me that he was going to get her home.” He says. Everyone got quiet. You raise your eyes up and see him looking straight at you. You swallowed hard, “Fuck, I literally have no recollection of that. I guess as the night went on I blacked out. Thanks for not leaving me, Jake,” you reply quietly. Jake just nods. 

While you and Jake had been having that interaction, Sam and Danny had started telling another story that brought your attention back to the present. After a while longer, you started to yawn and felt your eyelids getting heavy. You rose to your feet, “Well boys, it’s been a lovely evening but if I don’t head to bed now I think I’ll end up falling asleep out here. I’ll see y’all in the morning,” you said, stretching your arms above your head. “Goodnight, Y/N,” they all respond.

You take yourself to your room and grab your toiletry bag slipping into the bathroom to brush your teeth and hair. You then change into an oversized tshirt and slip into bed. Tonight was one of those that your head hit the pillow and it felt like you were asleep seconds later. You wake up what could have been seconds or hours later, you really aren’t sure, with an insatiable thirst. You groggily slip out of bed and make your way to the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water. As you are heading back to your room you hear someone else stirring and as you round the corner heading down the hall to your bedroom your body slams into someone. 

“Fuck!” Jake says, his voice heavy with sleep. “Oh shit, I’m sorry,” you whisper into the darkness. You move to go around him and as you walk by you feel a hand reach out grabbing your wrist. Before you know what is happening, Jake has you pinned against the hallway wall behind you. He leans in dangerously close to you, his lips ghosting just above yours. “Tell me to stop and I will,” he says. You couldn’t fully process what was happening but you felt your core aching. You lean in encouraging him to continue. He pulls back slightly “Words, princess.” “Don’t stop,” you say, your voice barely audible. 

He finally closes the distance between the two of you. Your mouth’s working furiously against each other, your hands tangling themselves into his hair and his gripping your hips. Jake swipes his tongue across your bottom lip and you quickly grant him the access he had been silently asking for. He still tasted like the bourbon he had been nursing all evening. 

You felt his hips unconsciously rut against you and feel his hands starting to explore your body. You feel one of his hands sliding under the hem of your shirt. “Hmmm?” he hums into your mouth questioning if he’s okay to continue. You nod never letting your mouth leave his. Jake’s hand makes its way under your shirt and up your body. He reaches up cupping your breast and gently kneads it and then ghosts his fingers around your nipple causing you to arch your back slightly. “So reactive to me,” he says, pulling away slightly to look at you. The only thing illuminating him is the glow of the moon pouring in from a skylight above the two of you. But even in the low light you can see his sinister grin and he pinches your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger eliciting a sharp inhale from you as your eyes roll back.

He maintains eye contact as he drops his hand down between your bodies and runs his finger slowly under the band of your underwear. You buck your hips into his hand silently asking him to keep going. He clicks his tongue, “Here we go again with the impatience.” “Please Jake,” you shamelessly beg. “God you sound pretty when you beg for me princess,” he practically moans out. 

He grants you mercy dipping his hand into your underwear and swiping his middle and ring finger through your slick. “Shit, so wet and all for me?” he questions. “Mhmmm, all for you,” you echo. He dips the two fingers into you drawing a moan from you. Jake’s free hand flies up to your mouth where he shoves his middle and ring finger harshly into your mouth. “Gotta stay quiet for me, we can’t let anyone hear us okay?” he says. You nod wrapping your mouth tightly around his fingers and circle them with your tongue. You see him struggling to maintain his composure. “An angel straight from hell,” he chuckles to himself. 

Before you have a chance to respond he starts to pump his fingers in and out of your heat at a punishing pace. Jake’s fingers curl up to hit your sweet spot on every pump and his thumb finds its way to your bundle of nerves working quick circles. Your eyes roll back and you moan around his fingers in your mouth. “Mmm you look so pretty when you are coming undone,” he whispers lowly into your ear. “You gonna be a good girl and cum for me? Soak my hand?” The pressure starting to build is almost unbearable. You try to ask him not to stop but it comes out garbled with his fingers still in your mouth. “So close aren’t you, be a good little princess and let go for me would you?” Jake growls, “There you go, cum pretty for me.” 

And just as you feel your release starting to come you are jolted awake. You sit straight up and find yourself still tucked away in your bed and drenched in sweat and absolutely aching for Jake’s touch. What the fuck.

[starkraivennemad]

Maybe One More...

“Okay, I think we’re good -that’s a wrap.” Gary lowered his camera. “We got some really great shots here!”

“Awww, not quite ready to give them up yet.” Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade mock pouted. “You guys don’t want to leave yet, do you?”

It was time for the annual New Scotland Yard Calendar photo shoot and the large room usually used for press conferences was turned into a makeshift studio. Several of NSY’s more visually appealing coppers were selected for the shoot. Though in Greg’s case, it was more of an order from his higher ups.

He had been on the telly several times in the past year having solved four high-profile cases -and three without Sherlock’s help. Each time he appeared, the emails and comment boards of NSY’s social media would go through an embarrassing uptick in volume for the several inquiries wanting, aka thirsting, after NSY’s silver fox. Greg relented telling himself it was for charity, but what really got him in the room was learning the charity for the year: Battersea Dogs and Cats Home.

A fake police line-up wall was the backdrop, and Greg sat on the mock studio floor playing with the most adorable of suspects: puppies! He was simply having a fun time with them, lamenting how the insane hours of work and his lifestyle really did not lend to keeping any pet as much as he would love to have a canine companion.

“If you want more time with them, we can get a few more shots, but you know what that means D.I. Lestrade…” Gary cajoled.

Gary was able to get Greg to pose with his shirt fully open exposing his torso. He even got him to pose with a shoulder and arm partially exposed. Even though the other eleven officers had little problem with it, what Gary could not do was get Greg to take his shirt off altogether.

Thus, Gary threw down the gauntlet: if Greg wanted more fun time with the puppies it had to be shirtless.

Greg was about to give up his puppy time when Sgt. Nicholas, who had been teasing a reticent Greg looked over in a corner. “Was that corner camera always facing this way?”

Greg froze. He played with a puppy, lifting it to hide how he slowly turned his head to look at the camera indicated. Greg was the last model. He knew the camera was not facing the set, while the others were there, he had checked. “Hmm, the cleaning people likely shifted it again. We can have security take a look when we’re done here.”

“I’ll do that.” Sgt. Nicholas nodded, “Are we done?”

Greg stood, “I swear. The things I do for charity.”

“And puppies!” Sgt. Nicholas laughed.

Seeing Greg remove his cuff links, Gary grinned getting his camera ready. “And what do you think you're doing?”

Biting his lip to hide his own grin, Greg slowly took off his shirt to cheers and cat calls.

“Maybe one more.”

“You’re going to be late for your meeting with the PM sir.”

Not that far away a certain occupant of a minor office in British government stood, about to close the browser window to the camera facing a certain detective inspector.

“In a minute, Anthea.”

Then his husband, Detective Inspector Greg Lestrade stood and began to take his shirt off.

Mycroft Holmes fell back into his seat.

“Maybe one more.”

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