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lightofthemoonglow · 4 years ago

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prologue - part two

Summary: A trip to the outlet mall, Jess goes on a date with someone that is not Herbert and than literally thousands of words about what they did during Thanksgiving. Also, the (future) feral idiots bond.

This is part two of the prologue of ‘Howl: The Director’s Cut’, a fic about how the massacre turns a pair of roommates into a pair of feral idiots in an intensely intimate and kinda kinky relationship.

Written in the third person.

Warnings for this chapter: foul language, an erotic dream, idiots being idiots, Louisiana.

series masterlist

iv: November

“You know, Meg had this crazy idea.”

“What?”

Jess quirks an eyebrow as she glances over at Dan. The two of them are at the outlet mall since it’s time to try and find deals on nice clothes for the upcoming winter. Or at least Dan is. Unlike her roommate, Jess is tragically behind the fashion trends, preferring to stick to her usual style of plain, mostly men’s or gender-neutral clothing unless it is a really special occasion. And even then, she tends to buy second-hand or borrow. But the outlet mall has great food and some other stores that are a little more in her wheelhouse, so she tagged along.

“She suggested that you and Herbert should date.”

“What?”

“That was my reaction. I told her it was a bad idea.”

Shaking her head, Jess takes the gaudy sweater our of Dan’s hand and puts it back on the rack. Even she knows that it’s far too tacky. “Good. I’d be worried if you hadn’t. And you know that you never look good in sequins. Or neons. How do I even remember that?”

Both of them were only children and orphans, which they had gathered Herbert was as well. But he wasn’t quite a member of the family that they had formed. Dan had been almost unnervingly friendly when they had first met, and Jess had been cautious when it came to warming up to him. But eventually, they had gotten to the point where they were like brother and sister, usually seen together but no one assuming that anything was going on. Dan had even gone to Boston Pride with her the last two years, feeling a bit out of place but willing to support his sister from another mister.

“Because you don’t have someone occupying your mind. When was the last time you went on a date?”

“You’re worse than my grandmas.”

“I just want you to find someone. There’s a cute nurse in cardio who I’ve seen checking you out. And an emergency medicine resident asked me about you.”

“And what about your love life, Danny-boy? How’s it going with the dean?”

“It’s going well, I think. He said he’ll recommend me for that scholarship.”

“That’s fucking great. Maybe he’ll come around the idea of you and Meg being serious soon.” Jess did worry about that. Dan was really in love this time and he would do whatever he needed for Meg. But he was equally passionate about being a doctor. And she knew that he would try and have both, if it came down to it. And he shouldn’t have to.

“Here’s hoping.” Dan smiles wryly and examines a nice green sweater that’s marked down almost obscenely. It feels like a good omen.

Maybe things will start looking up soon.

v: November (again)

The sound of people up in the main area of the house even reaches the basement, much to Herbert’s displeasure. Tonight was the night, he had been thinking about it more than he had ever wanted to.

A few days ago, Pierce Baird, an emergency medical resident, had come up to the table where the three residents of 666 Darkmore usually sat for meals. Or at least meals for Dan and Jess. They would eat while Herbert would pour over his notes or a textbook. And as Jess had been eating a cheap BLT and Dan had been having a burger and fries, Pierce and approached them and asked Jess on a date. Dan had elbowed Jess when she had hesitated and after plans had been made to go out on Saturday, he had clapped her on the back to congratulate her once Pierce was gone, nearly smacking her into the table. Herbert hadn’t said a word about it.

It’s Saturday night, the night of the big date. Herbert’s lingering by the basement door, listening to what sounds like half of their class mill about the house. He needs to get a book from his room, but that would mean having to risk interaction with people. In addition to both of his roommates being home, there is Megan and several of Jess’s friends in the house as well.

Eventually, Herbert can’t just stand around any longer and emerges from the basement.

Dan and Megan are in the living room, appearing to be studying on the couch, which is not unusual. On his way to his room, the door to Jess’s room opens.

“West. Come here.” One of the friends, a redhead who punctuates her sentence by cracking her gum, pokes her head out. “We have a question for you!”

That gets Dan and Meg’s attention, even before Jess shouts “No we don’t!”. Herbert furrows his brow, wondering just what is going on and before he can answer, Jess is in front of him, shoved forward by her other friends.

“Would you fuck her?” One of the other ones asks, the one who sounds a bit drunk. Herbert’s gaze properly fixes itself onto Jess. Her hair is loose, hanging several inches past her shoulders, for once not in a ponytail or a braid. She has something dark on her eyes and red lipstick on that reminds Herbert of fresh blood. “Specifically, what do you think of the boobs?” The black sweater she’s wearing is tight and exposes some of the flesh of her abdomen and the matching skirt is on the short side. It takes him a moment to realize that she’s wearing heels, ones that give her a bit more height. “Don’t be afraid to look.” The drunk one places her hands on the sides of Jess’s breasts, as if she’s directing Herbert’s gaze despite him knowing where to look. And his eyes already being there.

“Come on, Val. Leave him alone.” Jess pushes her friend’s hands away and rolls her eyes. “West has more important things to think about than my fuckability.”

At the same time, Herbert answers. “That is not my concern. As for her breasts, they appear to be present.”

“Well, that’s…something.” Val sighs.

The words were at the tip of his tongue. You look fine, but you don’t look like yourself. But he supposed that was the point and Herbert didn’t even to try and explain his thoughts to himself, much less all of these people, most of which were strangers. So he holds his tongue and manages to get away from the group, still hearing them bicker when he was in his room.

Herbert doesn’t leave his room for hours, spending his time taking notes as he furiously pours over various textbooks. And when he does, it’s to get a glass of water from the kitchen and the open curtains allow him to get a glimpse of Jess being walked to the pathway leading to the door. He watched as they exchanged some brief dialogue. Pierce doesn’t make it to the front door and Herbert turns away when he sees their mouths are about to touch.

The sound of her returning summons Dan from his room. All of Jess’s friends had left hours ago, Meg doing the same not long afterwards. So it’s just the three of them in the kitchen.

“Spill, Jess. Tell me everything,” Dan says, sounding like an eager puppy as he practically bounces on his heels.

“It went fine. He’s…okay.” Jess shrugs and perches on the counter, swinging her tight-clad legs idly. “What do you guys think of him?”

“Pierce seems okay. You guys look good together.” Dan sounds as honest as a man who is still not one-hundred percent sure can be. “I don’t really know him, though?”

“Herbert? Any thoughts?” Jess asks.

Their eyes meet and there is lingering, Herbert only looking away when his gut twists. “He’s not worth thinking about,” he snaps and turns to leave, heading down to the basement, feeling her eyes on his back.

it took a few days for Jess to be able to corner Herbert. Being able to talk to someone one lived with shouldn’t be so hard, but between classes, work and Herbert’s personal project, whatever that was, it wasn’t that much of a mystery. But still, three days was a bit much and that had only happened because she had gotten home before Herbert and planted herself in front of the basement.

“We need to talk.”

“About what?” Herbert sounds irritated and that just makes Jess more irritated, which is a surprise. She had thought that she had reached her limit on irritation, but as always, the man in front of her had managed to surprise her by surpassing her expectations.

“You’ve been pouting ever since I went out on that date, what’s up?” That had been her best guess as to what the inciting incident had been, though Jess could not imagine why. Aside from their little game of mocking Dan and Meg. But it wasn’t as if they had made a pact to stay single and she hadn’t even let Pierce into the house, despite him asking. So that was dubious at best. But it was all she had.

There was something stirring in her gut. Like a part of her was trying to tell her something. But she pushed it down. For some reason, she needed to know what was going on, why Herbert was acting like this. Like she had done something wrong, even though she refused to believe she had done so. But she could not ignore how the vibes in the house had changed since that night.

“Nothing is up.” Herbert practically pops the p in ‘up’ and the little shift of his eyes makes her think he’s lying for the briefest of moments.

Because he is.

The whole matter had stirred up thoughts, feelings, that he had been content on denying, even to himself. He could no longer ignore the simple truth that he was far too fond of Jess, that seeing her with another man had been unpleasant in the exact sort of way he tried to avoid feeling about people. Herbert had been able to repress these emotions before. And all of those people had come and gone, just as surely as she would. He didn’t enjoy feeling so petty, so small. Bordering on vulnerable, in a way.

There are traits he has learned may distract him. Nice lips that don’t even have to be red and shiny, capable hands, brilliant minds, ambition that has to be paired with passion for a specific thing, as opposed to the generic ambition driven by greed that’s been popular in recent years. Aside from the mouth, the only physical aspect that’s gotten him in trouble before have been the eyes. There is a spark that some people have and those are the ones who cause those feelings.

These feelings meant a potential loss of control and that was something Herbert did not want in the slightest. Even if he usually manages to get rid of them quickly.

Maybe it’s the proximity because his usual methods aren’t cutting it with her.

“You’re lying. Tell me.”

His eyes are on her mouth and he realizes that he could change everything right now. With one kiss, he could prove himself to be the superior choice, and everything would be the way it should be.

But Herbert doesn’t kiss Jess. Instead, he just stares at her until she moves out of his way and he goes down to the lab. Down to his work, his comfort zone. A place without feelings, only science.

Jess is left standing up there alone, wondering what just happened.

vi. Thanksgiving

Herbert is thinking about the train schedule, how soon they need to be there, wondering why he agreed to do on this little trip over the break. The house was being treated for pests; a precautionary measure being taken by their landlord. They would have to leave before noon on Wednesday and could not be back until Saturday afternoon at the earliest. He could be at a motel during the holiday, which he doesn’t even celebrate, instead of being in Louisiana with Jess. She had somehow been able to talk him into it, citing the usual twaddle about not being alone and that she could use the company. He wasn’t going to be able to do any work in a motel, anyway, she had pointed out and he had to admit that she had a point.

So he doesn’t think to knock on her bedroom door. Herbert just opens it and walks in, already speaking when he catches sight of her.

Jess is standing in front of her mirror, wrapped in a towel. Her hair is damp and she’s just idly gazing at her own body, as if studying it. The thinness and short length of the towel does not go unnoticed by Herbert’s keen gaze and he suddenly feels his mouth drying up.

“Need something?” she asks, turning towards him. For a moment, all he can see is her skin before his eyes finally focus on her face.

“I was wondering what time we need to leave in the morning.”

“Eight. It’s a long ride, pack plenty of entertain yourself with.” Jess catches his gaze wandering and she smirks. Her deft fingers undo the towel in one quick motion, allowing it to pool onto the floor. Herbert can feel his body filling with heat, a heaviness settling in his limbs, in the pit of his stomach. “See anything you like, West?”

For once, the words will not come. Herbert can only watch as Jess closes the gap between them, moving with an unnerving sensuality. He can’t bring himself to hate how she’s making him feel, how he’s twitching in his pants like a hormone addled boy. Suddenly she’s close enough for him to count the freckles speckled across her nose and cheeks and the smile on her face is devious, as if she’s the cat who ate the canary.

His hands won’t move even though he wants to touch, to see if she’s as warm as she looks. Jess looks him up and down, her gaze settling on the bulge that is tenting his trousers.

“It’s unfair that you’re dressed and I’m not.” Jess runs a finger along his jaw before she begins to sink to her knees. Her hands are on his belt buckle as she adds “Looks like I’m going to have to fix that.”

Blood is rushing through him; he can practically feel his heart pounding in his ears and her hand is reaching for that part of him that’s causing all of this damn trouble-

Herbert wakes from his dream with a slight start, nearly smacking his head on the window. The time informs him that they’re almost to their destination. There is less than an hour to go before they arrive at the train station, where Jess says her grandmothers will be waiting. Herbert wonders if they pluralize the names of relatives in the south or if that is just a personal quirk of hers.

The dream had been based in reality, though only up until the point where she had told them to pack plenty to entertain himself. In reality, Herbert had just mumbled something and left the room, not even bothering to make a quip about her wearing just a towel.

“You alright?” Jess asks and he can only nod, checking his watch again and leaving to splash some cold water on his face and compose himself.

Inviting him had been a fit of madness on Jess’s part. It had to be because nothing else explained her inviting Herbert home for the holidays. Dan was bringing Meg to meet his family and she had been planning on staying at the house until their landlord had told them they would all need to leave. Things had sort of spiraled from there and now they were almost at the train station that she had departed from when she had left Backford, the small town where she had been born and lived most of her childhood in, with the exception of the two years in Florida that no one liked to talk about.

All of the family she had left was there. Her two grandmothers, Clarice and Maybelle. Only the latter was blood-related to Jess, but Clarice had been a part of the family since long before Jess had been born. It was just the way things had always been. Jess had vague memories of her grandfather, Shane, but photographs showed that the three of them had lived a happy life together for a few decades. But like her parents, he was gone now. The family was down to the three of them. Jess went home for the summers, at least when she could, and sometimes during Christmas. But Thanksgiving usually had her staying wherever she was living at the time, ever since her freshman year of undergrad. But of course, this was a year of exceptions.

Both of her grandmothers had already met Dan, and they loved him. Jess wondered if they would like Herbert or if he would need to be concerned about being tossed into the swamp.

It’s dark when they arrive at the train station. Neither of them has many bags, only two each. Jess easily spots her grandmothers in the crowd, Nana Clarice’s hat and the sign with Jess’s first and last name on it, with ‘AND FRIEND’ tacked on at the end.

“Jessabelle, Jessabelle, look at you!” Granny Maybelle sweeps her granddaughter into a hug and Jess hugs her back, feeling that comfort that came with coming home. “It’s been so long!”

“It’s only been three months, Granny,” Jess playfully grumbles, smiling despite her words.

“It always too long. We miss having you around,” Nana Clarice adds as she gets her hug from Jess. “You’re our favorite granddaughter.”

“I’m your only granddaughter.”

It’s then that Nana Clarice turns to Herbert. “And you must be Jessabelle’s friend.”

“Herbert West. Your granddaughter and I are roommates in Arkham.” It has just clicked for Herbert that Jess’s use of grandmothers was not some sort of language quirk. Jess’s family is two women who are in a relationship with each other. Which isn’t something he cares about. They appear to be good people. Jess is fond of them in a way he was never fond of his own parents. He can see the flicker of apprehension on Jess’s face just before he extends his hand.

“You have a good grip,” Nana Clarice says. “Jessabelle, tu ne nous as pas dit qu'il était si mignon.”

“Nana! Ce n'est pas comme ça. C'est juste un ami,” Jess replies, casually embarrassed by whatever her Nana had said. Herbert doesn’t know much French, but as Jess had been flustered and informed her grandmothers that they were just friends, he could safely guess what had been said.

They barely even notice the glance they exchange afterwards. But both of the grandmothers do.

There is always those nerves when Jess allows someone new into her life, aside from the rare occasions when she meets someone like her and they know about each other right off the bat. She’s spent her life feeling like she has to justify things that are a part of her. Her family. Who she is. What she is.

Herbert is someone who seems to understand that, though for vastly different reasons. Which is why she felt safe bringing him here. To her home. She doesn’t know if he knows that she swings both ways. It’s not like her and Dan have expository conversations within earshot of him. And it’s not like she hides it. But she hasn’t been dating much and they don’t have conversations often and what they do talk about doesn’t exactly provide the opportunity for her to say by the way, I date women as well as men.

The two of them spend most of their time together in silence. Studying, reading, whatever. The conversations are kind of shallow, but not in a bad way. They’re basically friends. Close enough to bring him home.

Jess likes Herbert. Like actually likes him.

(maybe she’s the only person that does.)

He’s an odd, arrogant, cold man. Rude more than he needs to be, a workaholic, almost no social skills. And she only says almost because sometimes they have nice talks. He’s secretive, snarky and she’s not sure if he eats or sleeps. And yet, he’s still in the back of Granny Maybelle’s truck as they drive to her childhood home.

It’s in the swamp, a bit removed from the main part of town. Practically a waterfront home. Her father used to joke about that.

Dan’s never been here. Her family came to her during spring break the last couple years and he met them then. They adore him, he’s a good boy. Grandson material, but not in the way one would think. He was basically adopted by the end of their first visit. They send him food in her care packages. There’s a picture of him and Jess in the living room, a shot of them posing in front of the med school building.

And yet, he’s never been here, and Herbert is getting out of the car and walking up to the house.

The house isn’t directly in the water, though it might as well be. Of course, it’s elevated, all of the houses around here are. It’s strange, seeing Herbert in this place. There is so much nature, greens and browns all over the place, it’s not as crisp and nearly sterile neatness of Arkham. Jess still isn’t quite used to it.

Home is full of warm, bright colors that their house in Arkham lacks. Though that’s mainly due to their house being a rental and there not being a lot of time to get into it. They’re all busy and Herbert doesn’t even care what his own room looks like, much less the rest of the house. So why bother.

Full of knickknacks, paintings, photographs and other odds and ends, it’s clear this house has been lived in for a long time. Herbert casts glances at what he walks past, but travel fatigue, despite his earlier nap, is catching up with him. With both of them. The third bedroom is now a hobby room, so Herbert’s choices are the couch or a cot in Jess’s bedroom. He chooses the latter, not wanting to be out in the middle of everything.

The bedroom looks like she had never left. There is a small bookshelf crammed with books, a desk that still has pens and a notebook on top of it, a candle is on the nightstand. It’s just as personal as every other part of the house, though unlike everywhere else it is obviously solely her space.

After a quick shower and change of clothes each, the two of them quicky fall asleep, Herbert yet again unable to resist the lure of slumber.

When Herbert wakes up, it’s nearly two in the morning. There is a small lamp on a side table that provides some low light that he can read by. And despite having a book in hand, he finds himself idly walking over to the open hutch that was filled with photographs, the one of his roommates being the one that caught his eye. Herbert finds himself studying the other photographs on the shelf. There is one of a man that Herbert assumes is her father wearing a military uniform and he quickly realizes that his jacket is the same one that Jess constantly wears, only recently wearing different outerwear due to the weather becoming colder. In several photographs, there is a pale woman with red hair and freckles, who is probably her mother.

The next photo that captures his attention is actually two. On the left side of the double frame is a black and white photograph of the red-haired woman as a teenager, wearing a cheerleading uniform and smiling as she poses with her pom-poms. On the left is a color photo of a girl around the same age, wearing a dark red and gray cheerleading uniform and sitting on a low wall, holding a pair of pom-poms. Herbert takes a moment to recognize the girl’s sardonic smile, how she tilts her head, the way stray curls have escaped her ponytail. It’s Jess and this is something he did not expect to learn.

Curious, Herbert muses before turning away and settling down with his book.

He asks her about it the next day, while her grandmothers are out and they’re in the living room, Herbert going over the results of his latest experiment and Jess idly sketching, a copy of Pet Sematary by her leg.

“I didn’t know you were a cheerleader,” Herbert idly throws out, not even looking up from his notebook.

“It was only for six months, when I was a junior.” Jess doesn’t look up either, though her pencil stops moving for a few moments.

“That does not seem like something you would participate in.”

“My mom was a cheerleader all through her high school years.” Before Herbert can make a smart comment about her seeking her mommy’s approval, she adds in a rather crucial bit of information. “She died when I was eight. And I wanted to feel some sort of connection to her, even though she was gone. So, when I found her pom-poms…it all kind of clicked.” Jess looks up this time, meeting Herbert’s gaze. “I was the girl that got tossed in the air, mostly because I was only one willing to do that sort of thing. But apparently, even that couldn’t keep them from kicking me off. Apparently, you’re not supposed to refuse to cheer for anyone, even the worst people. Or get into fights.”

“I’m surprised you lasted six months.”

“Again, I was willing to do stunts. And it wasn’t all bad. I had a good time, got to do some crazy things. Met my first love.” The last statement just slips out and Jess doesn’t even realize it until Herbert responds.

“Was your first love a football player? Did he give you his letterman’s jacket at the soda shop after a game?” Herbert is pulling out all the cliches he can think of, finding himself enjoying teasing her, as usual.

But unlike all of the other times, Jess’s face becomes serious for a moment. Might as well, she thought. For the first time in a long time, there was a fluttering in her gut. “First off, it was 1979, not 1955. Get with the times, West. And she was a fellow cheerleader. Her name was Lacey.” Jess stiffens, watching his face carefully, waiting for his reaction. “She was my first girlfriend. And not my last.”

Herbert just stares back, his face as blank as ever. He hadn’t exactly expected to learn that. He knows that she’s dated men, he’s seen it in action and heard snippets of conversation about other men. It doesn’t matter to him who she sees and judging her for that would be on the hypocritical side.

“Alright then. I did not take you as the type to brag about your string of lovers, Woods.” Herbert’s dry response makes Jess smile, and the tension is gone from the room within moments.

At dinner that night, which Herbert is convinced to actually partake in, he mentions that he’s Canadian and has never celebrated an American Thanksgiving and didn’t celebrate his home country’s equivalent holiday after his parents had passed away, the foster home not requiring him to join their celebrations.

The mention of a foster home makes all three of the Woods women exchange quick looks. Jess looks mildly surprised for a moment before she recovers and the conversation continues to flow as normal.

It’s past midnight when the topic is brought up again. The two of them are in her bedroom, Herbert reading as Jess stares at the ceiling, trying to make her brain shut up before she gives in to its demands.

“How long were you in foster care?” She asks, turning towards him.

Herbert didn’t expect that question. It’s enough for him to close his book. “Six years. I was twelve when my parents died in a house fire, so I remained in the foster system until I reached the age of majority.”

“I’m sorry about your parents.”

“I suppose I should thank you.”

“You don’t have to.” There is a long pause before Jess speaks again. “When my dad went off to fight in Vietnam, we were living in Florida. My mom wanted to move back here, but her job there was too good to give up. She was a nurse at a hospital in Jacksonville. And when she died, my dad was still gone. They wound up putting me in foster care until he got back. I was there for over a year. It wasn’t exactly pleasant.”

“It never is.” Herbert’s voice is softer than usual, the edges dulled. He understands what she went through, at least enough that he feels confident in saying so. Jess is looking right at him and it’s not as unnerving as it would normally be.

Friday night finds them on a blanket in a patch of grass. Herbert wants to observe some of the nocturnal fauna of the area and Jess is bored, so she joins him. Her grandmothers are out with friends and won’t be back until late. It’s been dark for hours and they’re likely still going strong. For all they know, the two senior citizens won’t be back until midnight or even later.

Despite their initial plans, the pair of med students are staring up at the night sky, idly chatting. Jess is suddenly very aware of their closeness, how their pinkies could be linked with the slightest movement. A movement she dares not to make.

“What do you think Dan and Megan are doing right now?” It’s the first thing that pops into her head.

“Probably fornicating.” Herbert’s blunt statement has her in giggles and he actually cracks a small smile, as opposed to a smirk.

“Probably? They totally are. They’re probably staggering around some guest bedroom and he’s calling himself Doctor Dan.” Jess is snickering at the mental image, which is easy to conjure up, since she’s seen that little scene play out more than once. “And laughing their heads off.”

It was strange to hear them before they actually got to the main event. They made it all sound like a fun little game that only they knew how to play. While Jess didn’t exactly observe them, she had noticed how…easy it all seemed to be. How they had connected and just fit together, their bond carrying over into the bedroom, which was likely why they were so spirited in there. Of course, she’s had her share of fun, she’s been the one making noises a few times. But somehow, it’s never like what they have. Or at least what she assumes they have. For a long time, it’s felt like there is a piece of her missing.

Maybe that is why it is so easy to mock them. It’s happened often enough that the two single residents of 666 Darkmore have their little comedy routine down pat at this point.

“I feel bad for his family. Just imagine being woken up at three in the morning by ‘Oh Dan!’.” Jess playfully rolls on top of Herbert, which they’ve never done before during their bit. They’ve never even touched before while imitating the noises that come from Dan’s room at the most random hours. She’s hardly able to get the words out, still chuckling as if this is the funniest thing in the world.

Herbert easily rolls her onto her back, so he’s on top of her now, one of his legs between hers. “Or by that absurd noises that Cain makes when words fail him.” His imitation of those sounds are quite convincing and he bows his head forward, nearly touching his forehead to hers. When his glasses slightly slip up his face, she’s struck by how beautiful his eyes are, something she has never noticed before, how the color seems to shift with the slightest movement of his head.

“Oh, Herbert.”

The way Jess sighs his name, almost rapturously, sends a frisson of desire straight through Herbert, the blood draining from his face and going to his groin. Her eyes are half-lidded, her mouth is slightly parted, reminding Herbert of media representations of women in throes of passion. The usual amusement that’s laced with sarcasm, the irreverent tone that she often takes when the two of them are mocking the happy couple is gone. In its place is a raw, ardent gasp full of longing that stirs a part of Herbert he hardly knew existed.

No one has ever moaned his name like that before. Or at all. Herbert has never considered that intercourse was anything but clinical in real life, not counting the media depictions he’s come across in his lifetime. Dan’s noises seem just as real as the ones in pornography and Herbert can’t imagine losing control like that.

Though right now, as he gazes down at her face, the way she had moaned his name ringing in his ears, he can imagine it. In this moment, Herbert can understand how someone can just let go and let their baser desires take over because he wants to do just that. The images flash through his mind in an instant, he’s unable to stop himself from imagining being on top of her in a very different way.

(warm flesh, nails digging into his skin, wet mouths, her voice crying out

yesyesyesyesyes

in between utterances of his name)

It’s late and the house is so far from any others that Jess hears the soft whine that he can’t stop from slipping out and she swear that he presses himself against her for less than a second. A part of her is not even sure if that actually happened.

Suddenly, this isn’t funny anymore.

Herbert scrambles off of you and rushes back into the house. For a while, Jess just remains on the blanket, staring up at the sky.

Obviously, this doesn’t mean anything. It can’t.

Thankfully, they’re on the train home less than twelve hours later. They only speak and look at each other when they have to, Jess informing her grandmothers that they’re just tired and eager to get home. They wind up bringing back another bag that’s filled with food for all three of them, enough to last several days.

At the train station, Granny Maybelle hugs Jess and whispers in her ear. “Je l’aime bien. Il est bon, je peux le dire. C’est dans ses yeux.”

And yet, when Jess gets home, she calls Pierce and makes plans for a second date. It’s not exactly what she had planned, but she can’t let one weird moment consume her life. Rather than take any sort of risk, she’s going to take the safe route.

Translations in order in which they appear, all from the internet as opposed to a personal knowledge of French:

Jessabelle, you didn't tell us he was so cute

Nana! It's not like that. He's just a friend

I like him. He is a good one, I can tell. It is in his eyes

I’m sorry for how fucking long and maybe terrible the Thanksgiving portion was. It was nearly 4000 words and it would have been longer. I had to cut a few things, including a whole scene where they go into town and run into some of her old classmates, revealing the last (and some might say most depressing) major part of Jess’s backstory and at least one full scene with the grandmothers. I just got too overwhelmed because that adhd/depression life lmao, am I right fellow kids?

It looks like this practice of splitting up chapters into parts one and two will keep happening, unless I can figure out new titles for all of them. Because titles are hard, so please send me some.

Up next: the life changing event that is the Miskatonic Massacre

#herbert west x oc #reanimator fanfic #re-animator fic #herbert west fic

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bountyofbeads · 5 years ago

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What Happens When Ordinary People End Up in Trump’s Tweets https://nyti.ms/32bCiou

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What Happens When Ordinary People End Up in Trump’s Tweets

By MATT FLEGENHEIMER | Published Nov. 2, 2019 | New York Times | Posted November 3, 2019 |

McCALLA, Ala. — The evening of April 29 passed like many others for Ben Rawls, a fire lieutenant in Tuscaloosa: settled in the rocking chair on his porch, amid empty beer cans and mosquito-fighting candles, tweeting to an audience of dozens until he got sleepy.

“Granted I am in Alabama,” Mr. Rawls, 45, wrote around 11 p.m., after a major firefighters’ union endorsed Joseph R. Biden Jr. for president, “but most of the firefighters I talk to are voting @realDonaldTrump.”

The morning of May 1, some 36 hours later, was less typical.

Mr. Rawls showered and took his daughters to school. He ignored his phone, until it yapped so insistently that he had to look. An ashbin of Twitter comments greeted him: Racist. Moron. “‘Toothless’ — that was a good one,” he recalled.

The most curious posts disputed Mr. Rawls’s very existence. Strangers accused him of being a bot. He replied to one with a video he recorded in his pickup. “Here I am,” he said to the camera. “No faking here.”

All told, it took about 12 hours for him to solve the mystery. Back in his rocking chair, he stared at a fellow Twitter user’s note of congratulations: Mr. Rawls had been retweeted by the president of the United States.

Along with the Republican allies, Fox News hosts and conspiracy-mongering trolls whose messages President Trump pinballs across the political arena, he has also elevated regular people whose words he finds pleasing. Perhaps no group understands the praise-seeking cyclone that is @realDonaldTrump better than these arbitrary few who have lived inside it, briefly and usually unwittingly.

Their brushes with cybercelebrity are a portal into the Twitter feedback loop powered and experienced by Mr. Trump — dark, caustic, skimpy on nuance — where the ripples of a single presidential tweet can be hard to fathom unless measured against the relative anonymity to which these users were accustomed. Mr. Rawls got 2,700 retweets and 14,000 “likes” with the boost from Mr. Trump. The reach of his tweets before and since, he estimated, was approximately zero.

For many of the retweeted, the temporary platform stands as a testament to a style of politics they have never seen before — one that has bonded the president to his followers, virtual or otherwise.

“No other president has ever done stuff like this,” said Curtis Vincent, a 35-year old in Bowling Green, Ky., who operates one of the more than 215 unverified accounts Mr. Trump has retweeted since taking office. “They’ve been on a higher pedestal.”

Mr. Rawls, Mr. Vincent and several others were retweeted by Mr. Trump on May 1 after responding to a post by a Fox News personality, Dan Bongino, about the fire union’s endorsing Mr. Biden.

Joining them in temporary Twitter fame was Joelle Palombo, 46, a Southern California resident with 11 followers, who had largely used her account to cheer on her daughter’s soccer team. But after Mr. Bongino tweeted that “NONE of the firemen” he knew were with Mr. Biden, she replied with a note of support for Mr. Trump from one “fire family” out West.

The flood of reactions so spooked Ms. Palombo that she enlisted her teenage son to help block anyone she saw in her feed. The purge took three days, she said, and included the president, who she did not realize had retweeted her until a reporter told her months later.

“I went and looked at his account, and I blocked him,” Ms. Palombo said of Mr. Trump. “That’s how scared I was. I’m just one tiny hair on a dog. Are you kidding me?”

Although her affection for the president persists, Ms. Palombo questions the value of his favored medium. “How many hours of the day do people put in to do this?” she said. “I don’t need to have a voice on this. I’ll vote.”

Others have found more purpose in the practice. Mr. Rawls described himself as a reluctant Trump voter in 2016. He preferred Ted Cruz during the Republican primary, and he winces at some of the president’s choices, including insulting John McCain well after the senator’s death.

But as the 2020 election approaches, Mr. Rawls suggests, the president’s Twitter output is a more effective galvanizer than even the slickest campaign ad. “The tweeting doesn’t bother me so much anymore,” he said. “I don’t really feel like I wasted a vote.”

And the validation of the president’s retweet has encouraged his own more quarrelsome instincts. “Before all this happened, I would type something out and say, ‘People will think I’m crazy,’” he recalled, citing prospective tweets that he scrapped.

Since May, these second thoughts have been rarer. He has called Anthony Scaramucci, the former White House communications director, a “bitter jerk.” He has shared a doctored video of Speaker Nancy Pelosi appearing to slur her words. He has weaponized a gif of Judge Judy (“Either you are playing dumb, or it’s not an act”) to mock Representative Eric Swalwell, a California Democrat promoting gun control.

“I’m a little bit less of a wallflower than I used to be,” Mr. Rawls said, crediting Mr. Trump’s retweet. “I guess you could say I was more emboldened.”

CATCHING HIS EYE

Capital letters help. Sentence structure can be disregarded. Mornings, East Coast time, are best.

Grabbing Mr. Trump’s attention on Twitter is more art than science — and, often, more fluke than art. But some who have been retweeted say there are certain flourishes that can improve the odds.

The surest path is echoing Mr. Trump’s voice. The user @fiiibuster, whose profile boasts that he has been retweeted twice by the president, has built a following of more than 38,000 accounts — and won the digital stamp of approval from a man with 66 million — through a steady offering of posts that resemble Mr. Trump’s own. Among the words in @fiiibuster’s retweeted messages: “security,” “prosperity,” “America first,” “Pathetic,” “bad reporter,” “shame!”

In other cases, Mr. Trump has gravitated toward those who share his taste in reading. A few weeks ago, he retweeted Cathy Buffaloe, 70, a retired librarian in Walton County, Ga., after she quoted a Wall Street Journal column criticizing Representative Adam Schiff, the Democratic chairman of the House Intelligence Committee.

When she told her husband what had happened, he asked if she had simply dreamed it. She took screenshots to show to friends and gained about 200 followers. “It isn’t often that ‘regular’ people have an opportunity to be heard concerning national issues,” Ms. Buffaloe said in an email.

J. T. Lewis, a 19-year-old Republican candidate for the Connecticut State Senate whose brother Jesse was killed in the Sandy Hook massacre in 2012, was retweeted last year after writing a flattering message to Mr. Trump. When he traveled to Washington months later to meet with the president as part of a school safety event, Mr. Lewis brought a printout of the tweet.

“He smirked and signed it,” he said. “It’s in my room somewhere.”

Mr. Lewis said he hoped the president’s imprimatur would show that Mr. Trump was not in league with the conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, who has spread bogus claims about the Sandy Hook shooting, including asserting that the victims’ families were actors and part of a plot to confiscate guns. (In 2015, Mr. Trump appeared on Mr. Jones’s “Infowars” program and praised him.)

But Mr. Lewis is skeptical that getting through to Mr. Trump owes to any elaborate strategy. “I don’t think things are planned out the way we think they are from the outside,” he said. “I think that was literally just: Guy in pajamas, ‘Oh, this is a nice tweet.’”

THE WRONG IVANKA

“The fingers aren’t as good as the brain,” the president once explained, discussing the typos he makes on Twitter.

And those fingers have at times conferred a spotlight on unsuspecting tweeters with low opinions of him.

In a tweet one night in January 2017, just before his inauguration, Mr. Trump shared a message calling his daughter Ivanka “a woman with real character and class” and tagging @ivanka.

That Twitter handle belongs to Ivanka Majic, 45, a technology researcher in Brighton, England, who shares a first name and little else with the president’s daughter. Ms. Majic woke up to media inquiries and a dilemma.

“There’s a decision to be made,” she said in an interview. “If you’re going to say something, what are you going to say?”

Ms. Majic recognized she would probably never be handed a megaphone like this again. “He was a bit unlucky, really, that it was my Twitter account,” she said.

She settled on this: “You’re a man with great responsibilities. May I suggest more care on Twitter and more time learning about #climatechange.”

Instantly, Ms. Majic became something of a local luminary as her progressive city strained to process Mr. Trump’s victory. Days later, at the London chapter of the global Women’s March, one attendee’s sign read, “@Ivanka, loving your work!”

In the years since, Ms. Majic has celebrated an annual “Trumpiversary” to mark the occasion. But one news clipping from the time still grates.

“There was one article that said, ‘Ivanka only has 2,700 followers,’” she remembered. “I was like, ‘That’s quite good for a normal person!’”

_______

Karen Yourish and Larry Buchanan contributed reporting. Kitty Bennett contributed research. Produced by Gray Beltran and Rumsey Taylor.

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survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years ago

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Episode 8- “Slytherin is dead, hoes mad, what's new”-Autumn

ALRIGHT professors I was sitting really pretty and y'all really had to go put me with these people I haven't been on a tribe with... -_- okay, I've been on a tribe with Kevin but what if he, Dan and Joanna have some kind of power alliance, I feel like a sitting duck!! THIS... is not cute lol. But on the more positive side I feel like Dan, Kevin and Joanna are all really strong players and maybe we can skate by without going to any tribal councils. Also, I feel like poor Max is a goner because I think he's grounded again. I just really hope that Lily makes it out of this alive! I feel the same about Landen and even Owen (as long as he doesn't come for me, LOL jk love you) but at the moment Lily is the person I want to see at the end of this game!!

4 minutes later

I was about to go to bed before all this happened... now catch me jumping into everyones PM's... I swear, I NEVER talk to everyone like I have been in this game, I really want to do good and make it far and I'm stressed that this swap is going to send me packing!

23 minutes later

So I have this OCD thing where I can't log off of skype until I answer all my messages and these people reply too fast, especially Joanna. But okay, I'm feeling REALLY good about this tribe. Everyone is nice and talkative and obviously I'm going to be on the bottom and the easy vote but.... Kevin seems happy enough to see me so maybe if we do have to worry about tribal I won't be in danger???? I like them all a lot though and I like that Joanna is a Harry Potter superfan so I can talk about books and movies with her.

Your girl got too hopeful that it was merge. Can there just be like one round of this and he t to merge already, plzzzzzz? Also. 1. Very pleased to still be on hufflepuff 2. Love that I’m still with landen. I overall really trust landen at least for a while and in this current moment. Things can change especially with me still paranoid about actually knowing 5 people now 4 (we miss you Jess) people in the game when I told landen I only knew 2. Sooo. Really excited to have to opportunity to talk with autumn again. She is a tru icon and it will be nice to catch up. And I’m laughing and loving that I��m still on a tribe with Owen. After clearly voting for him in the last tribal I’m gonna have to really talk to him in PMs now. I feel like the 4 of us could be a really strong tribe and hopefully do well at whatever the next immunity is but I can’t count on that. I know landen has my back but after voting for Owen at the last tribal it would make a tribal with us 4 realllll interesting. Excited for what is to come and trying to remain positive despite having my heart ripped out without merge. Hoping this next challenge is a fun one or Casanova because I’d love to start playing again. Haha.

me: I'll never leave Gryffindor for Hufflepuff and you can't make me

also me: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/57/88/40/57884096081b0494e51028e2942bfefd.

gif Totally forgot the part where Hufflepuff doesn't lose? Soooo maybe this is good- I can play nice with all my frenemies, we can kick back a bit before I have to slit throats, and it'll just be all good. I mean it needs to be all good cause I have a thesis to finish sooooo this back to back tribal energy has to stop I rebuke it. I also rebuke it because then I'm GUARANTEED next boot and I'll be damned. But yeah it's nice over here, everybody's all happy and relaxed and shit. It's truly a vibe and don't tell Gryffindor I said that hahaha also lmao at Jacob giving me my first vote because we been knew! And there is literally nothing that men can surprise me with at this point so go for it. Not to mention everyone wanted Jacob out, literally the entire time which is why the vote was unanimous?? There was just an order of operations and I respected that; hence why it took it so long. Me being the first to say Jacob's name four rounds ago wasn't earth shattering then or now but sure I'll take the credit for it. I said his name before it became cool to say his name but it did actually manifest lol so I'm good over here. Slytherin is dead, hoes mad, what's new

I was so blackout I don't even remember if I wrote a confessional last night... ANYWAY, we swapped!!! I'll talk about that more in a second, but can we first just take another second to STAN JACOB C GETTING VOTED OUT!!! I knew the psychic telepathic messages I was sending to Kevin would have my cute bb getting rid of Jacob for me, what an ANGEL. I stan One Kevin and ONE KEVIN ONLY. I'm so happy Jacob is gone because I know he would've come for me at the merge, not only that but he would've been an independent variable I wasn't prepared to deal with getting thrown into the mix of the war of houses and cross-tribal alliances that's about to probably go down. Onto the swap! Putting us into 3 tribes of 4 was SO ugly, you know that.... I'm literally going to kill Dan for even putting that out into the universe, I know it was already decided but it's still his fault for cursing and jinxing it. NEGATIVE VIBES. That being said, I also got onto Hufflepuff for the 3rd time in a row, which is GREAT because Hufflepuff is basically the blessed tribe and the BEST tribe! You all know I'm the ultimate Hufflepuff and now I have the tribal record to prove it. Not only that, but I've got to spend 3 tribal stages with Lily and I've honestly just gotten really close to her, I really appreciate talking to her about life, college, friendships, travel, hobbies, etc. She has a great strategic mind and is so wonderful socially. I just can't make it clear enough how much I enjoy and respect her as a friend and ally in this game. You always need a constant in Survivor and for me, Lily is that constant. So ending up on a tiny tribe of 4 where 2 votes means literally half the vote and a whole world of difference, having Lily and I together means a lot to me. It also means, bar any crazy spells, Lily and I have a lot of power and influence on this tribe should we go to tribal (which I won't allow, I'll kill all 8 people on the other tribes if I fucking have to. I am NOT going to tribal with 4 people in a game where spells and advantages run rampant. Someone's getting swapfucked.) As for the other 2 people on this tribe, I'm really glad we got Owen, actually. I know that probably comes off as a surprise and yes I am very nervous about what he might do to try and come for me and Lily if we go to tribal (hence why we CANNOT go), but like I said in my confessional last round, doing damage control with Owen and getting a better read on his game is going to be essential for my survival during the merge, he needs to feel comfortable with me. We both fell asleep that day and didn't catch each other at the right time to talk about it, so I'm *REALLY* glad I swapped with him to just have a few extra days to sort of nail things down. Of course that also brings me to Autumn who I'm just really really glad to have here for the same reason as Owen. I discussed how Autumn was a crucial vote I'm going to need, in that I want to work with her and Juls moving forward and I need to get to know her. Autumn and I have already bonded over a lot of things and it's been great to talk to her, I can't wait to get to know her even better and hopefully work with her in the future. This tribe was set up perfectly for me to use it as a vantage point for setting up an excellent merge; but I can't deny that in terms of going to tribal, it's going to be VERY difficult to survive and also VERY difficult to vote someone out who I deem essential to my game, so yeah... I'm really hoping we don't go. With the challenge performance record of the 4 that are here I don't think it's going to be hard to avoid an immunity loss, so that's good. Looking forward to what the future holds! Marshmallow moves!

new tribes hm.. um, only happy to see jules <3 jk i love chips and max BSSBSN but mac is grounded so i see this taking a toll on some of these challenges, and i literally Cannot see myself voting out jules of chips so uh. hehe! it’s really funny that chips and i have been together since the beginning though, the way i would literally die for that man.. unreal. he’s just the absolute sweetest :pleading: but in another note, WOO! made jury bitches! now all i need is these tribes to merge and i am SET.

Seriously this entire tribe responds SO fast I can't keep up, LOL. I'm excited for the challenge tomorrow. I really think that we are going to have an advantage because these people are literally always around and typing something when I send a message so maybe we'll win. Also, I'm not sharing this with them but if Max is still grounded that might give us ANOTHER advantage of him not posting stuff. I don't want to tell them this and for them to all get lazy though, so.. I wish these people would stop asking questions in the tribe chat so I could finish my search, grrr. I don't want to sign this off until I finish in case I find something because I want to write about it! I'm really sad that Lily and I aren't on the same tribe anymore, I copy and pasted the spreadsheet we've been using to search to a separate one since we can't compare notes this round -_- grrr nothing, okay I'm heading to bed but at least I know I have enough confessionals this round.

This challenge makes me want to die

16 minutes later

I refuse to lose this challenge. Will I be going to "school" on 4 hours of sleep? Yes. But I haven't missed a single one since 10 am (and as i'm writing this is 1 am). I'm not losing this challenge. I'm not voting these people out.

1 hour later

another hour.... another chunk of my sanity gone

50 minutes later

I AM SUFFERING

So like we all know by now, I have a big mouth and told my tribe about Max getting grounded shortly before the swap. No idea if he still is or not but that would be nice for this challenge. Also if I woke up at 3:45 AM and we lose I'm going to be MAD!!

5 hours later

UGH look at me actually talking a lil in the great hall instead of sleeping, I missed Landen :( PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET. US. MERGE!

the way i stayed up 24 hours...only missed TWO...and still lost because NO ONE ELSE PUT THE CONSISTENCY AND EFFORT THAT I DID....if these people vote me out it's riggamorris....yall better give me most robbed juror....or cutest harry potter fan that's fine with me too EWFJIWEJIWF

WE WON!!! THE SUFFERING WASN'T IN VAIN!!! I'M SO HAPPY

So I feel like I contributed a lot to the last challenge but shout out to Kevin and Joanna for fucking holding it down over night! I definitely still contributed the least so I’m blessed that we won! I’m really praying for merge tonight, but I really feel like there’s gonna be one last round and a merge at 10. I’m worried that another person will join the jury that I don’t have a great relationship with. But at the same time, I don’t want Jules to be voted out because I do feel like she is loyal to me. I’m hoping chips goes honestly ahhaha we NEVER have a great relationship in games. OH and I have such a soft spot for Ruthie, like I love her spirit and her energy, but she also knows I can get to the end and have a good shot at winning (RIP @ me getting robbed in TS: RvR a few months ago). She is someone I want to keep close because she’s GREAT socially, where I’m not, but I’m also keeping an eye on her bc I played her last time.

If this isn’t the last tribal before merge I might lose it. Now will be the time to tell if my lack of experience in tribals will bite me in the butt. Excited to see what this advantage is tonight as well. Hoping that max isn’t voted out just yet as I see him as someone who would vote with me and be honest with me in merge. I also think some people might want to vote him out before myself or another one of my allies so he would be helpful to have around. I still feel the strongest trust with Ruthie and landen. I hope it’s a while before they would want to turn on each other. I need to touch base with Kevin and see where he is at. I also think chips and juls would be really great allies in this game despite voting differently at the tribal we attended together. I’m ready for the next stage of the game and if it isn’t time for that yet I might go crazy.

I HATE IT HERE! I HATE THIS FOUR PERSON TRIBE THING AND HOW MAX WANTS JULES OUT! i don’t think anyone understands that i would literally lay down my life for jules and i refuse to let them go anywhere. literally Not on my fucking watch!!!! this vote is literally gonna kill me and max is like i trust you the most :heart: well yea.. because u know ur in danger.. funny how this is the first time we’ve talked game NNN. anyways. i live max but in order for jules to thrive he’s gotta go!

WE WON IMMUNITY !!!!! I DIDNT STAY UP FOR 24 HOURS FOR NOTHING !!!! I AM SO HAPPY !!!!! I hope the merge is after this

It's like I just single-handedly annihilated, you know, every ORG bitch in the building Like, like, I'm Julesy Minaj, Julesy Lewinsky, Julesy the Ninja, Julesy the Boss, Julesy the Harajuku Barbie Like I mean I don't even know why you girls bother at this point! Like, give it up, it's me! I win! You lose HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh shit hahaha, yo

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survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years ago

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Episode 3- “Y'all wanted magic within and we delivered- case closed”-Autumn

Another super fun challenge! I want to shout out to the hosts for just doing a great job so far. This is making this quarantine just a little less terrible. So happy we have immunity and getting our first reward is so exciting! I’ve been trying my best to connect with members outside of my tribe in the great hall chat and get close with my tribe mates. For the most part I really trust all of them. And that’s horribly scary. I really love being on hufflepuff. But I have a feeling a swap is gonna happen. Kevin told me he thinks it’s going to be 2 tribes of 8. We will see. GL to slytherin and ravenclaw!

HOES MAD

https://giphy.com/gifs/lifeminute-birthday-rihanna-3fihINg62RNynS9cbY

I'm so dead and drained rn but I look forward to reading this round and seeing how heated people are over this. And this will definitely follow me the entire game but you know what I'm glad. Don't let the 16 month hiatus fool you: when I show up I show out. Everything is mind over matter in a way and y'all caught me on a good day so I was just like fuck it I'll do this all day if I have to. So I walked into that challenge at 11:30 am and deadass my phone never left my side... for 9 1/2 hours. Also y'all know I'm at my best when I'm an underdog? So of course I went all out, please tell me you didn't expect anything less. And can I just say Gryffindor legitimately and collectively earned that because everyone participated and put points up. So yes I am that girl but I do it for the squad because I know they'll do it for me. BIG ups though to Vi and Jess- I don't care what their alliances were before today they better have each other's backs and I'll riot if they don't both survive. Literally do the right thing and send a man home. And the same goes for Ravenclaw! I wanna know what's going on over there and I'm not picky but send a man or inactive home if you can. Let it be known that I literally came into this game to raise hell for Dan and Owen lmaaaaooo. I mean I don't want them to go (yet) because that's not what good frenemies do and where's the fun in that. We make each other's arcs better and if we're cast, there will be a fight to the death sooner or later. But until then! Yes I am absolutely living for them sweating it out for a full round. Can y'all believe it? They finally lost at something God is so good. Would've loved to make Hufflepuff sweat too but hey. There's always next round

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/UnsungOblongBlesbok-max-1mb.gif

14 minutes later

Also I just wanna say that 6:00 hour was chef's kiss. In my entire org career, I have never been on a tribe that pulled off a shutout like that and that was ICONIC. Hoes mad but did your entire tribe come together and get a streak of points nonstop for upwards of an hour?? No ma'am you did not. I kept us alive all day but that hour was THE hour that took Gryffindor from 4th to 2nd and that's how you win immunity. Y'all wanted magic within and we delivered- case closed

I don't trust Nick at all. I know in the back of his mind he's thinking i'm gonna play like our previous game which I wasn't exactly loyal to him because I was loyal to some bitch ass alliance that ended up... ANYWAYS. So he seems like the type of player to keep that into consideration because he happened recently and he's sort of a newer player. So I have to be mindful of this all and as much as i'm STRESSING the fact that obviously there were external factors in that game.. that won't impact this game kind of a deal. I know this all could just be my paranoid little brain and thinking that he's out to get me when he's not.. but I haven't played any back to back games in FOREVER and when something THAT FRESH happens.. it's hard for me to not have the after thought of: Wow Nick must think i'm an loyal person who won't tell him my real thoughts.

But Nick gonna be a scary player down the line. He's already in my pm's bragging about how him, Landen, and I think his name is Matt? idk one of the "Weebz" (still don't know what that means) and how he will have those potential relationships moving forward.. I just... don't.... understand..... him. ANYWAYS

The thing is... I think? I can trust Jacob fully. I think this vote SHOULD BE EASY.. but I can't help but feel really fucking bad. Like terrible. Like extremely heart broken about voting out VI. She's put her all into everything and honestly I would be so mad if i've given my all and these two dweebz didn't even show up to the comp. I know she's gonna be upset and I hate knowing that. So i'm TRYING to take emotions out of this decision and make this all strategical and within the game environment because if I was voting with my HEART i'd keep her. BUT then I have that voice in the back of my head that is saying "But if you save Vi.... she'll be loyal to you!" BUT ALSO... I know from HOSTING VI... is that Vi is only loyal to... the fun she has. If she gets bored she fucks around. She's a crackhead. But I obviously can't VOICE THIS TO ANYONE because they could flip this and reverse this on ME.

I'm scared that if I cast any form of doubt about the vote to Jacob he will relay the message to Nick and well I become more threatening than Vi at this point because I pointed the gun at him... SO I was fucking around with the idea of... using my idol on myself, causing a 2 to 2 tie.. and well.. unless Jacob wants to go to rocks by himself... and basically get voted out.. Mr. Nick goes. But it's LITERALLY FINAL 18............ If this was final 11, sure i'd do this in a heart beat... but this is such a bad bitch move i'm scared people will see I got something on my resumé already. They'll see I went against an alliance for VI. It's just so risky.. but I told myself i'd have FUN in this game.. I just don't want to make a move purely on a past game or purely on emotion. I want to be making moves that move me forward in the game..

I LOVE JOANNA!!! THIS IS A JOANNA APPRECIATION POST!!!!!! and dan has the idol.

Unsurprisingly, we lost the challenge. I worked my lil booty off as best as I could (I did give up but that is beside the point at this current moment) and I have been friendly, fricking nice as all hell, and then Miguel wants to vote me out. And honey... I think that sealed your fate. I am working on being a little more ruthless I guess because I really want to win this game, so if you come for me, you bet I'm coming for you. I've always made jury and I don't think that this is the season I'm getting stuck with pre-jury. Miguel is the only relationship I don't feel confident in so... bye sis.

The immunity challenge was a hard-fought battle, but we managed to pull out a win near the end. It was the most stressful time of my life. Honestly, I felt that if we lost then I would get voted out next. Thankfully, that did not happen. However, this is a huge wake up call for me to get my ass into gear and start being more social with my tribe. Otherwise, I might find myself in the bottom and that is not a position I want to be in.

AHHHH so my tribe won immunity and reward and things are great! Someone mentioned yesterday (Kevin?? Maybe) that this means we are the last tribe to have to see tribal council and that is a GREAT THING! I really wonder who is going to go home- I just hope it isn't Owen. I also really hope he still wants to work with me if we end up on a tribe together. In other news, I'm curious to see if a swap is about to happen. With a double tribal happening tonight it seems as though it would be a big maybe! Also I'm still irritated that my glee shirt didn't count as a band tee, when everyone asks what kind of music I like the first thing I always say is 'anything by the cast of glee' xD I don't feel like I was much help in the challenge but I was there and got points for wine and sequins if that means anything.

doing this ON TIME.. anyways chile. WOO WE DID IT! finally not coming in last hehe. god the amount of i was just frantically running around my house.. well thank god my family didn’t question it for the most part hehe. overall this challenge was super duper fun and i’m HOPING we can continue to win some because the stress of my tribe wanting to go against me.. yea it’s there. hopefully my paranoia is just that and i have nothing to worry abt ✨

Hey all you cool cats and kittens! It’s Dan, not Carole Baskin, but with the same crackhead energy. So Miss Miguel should be leaving tonight! It’s not anything personal at all. He’s a really sweet guy, but he’s just not around. I work mad hours a week and still make time for this stuff. Joanna is worried because she knows her name is going around so as long as she doesn’t try to pull something, everything is good. I think the chances of that happening are slim to none honestly. I feel like had I been able to compete in the comp I could have helped way more than others. I have a ton of random shit in my apartment that was asked for!!! I was a little shady toward Jacob in the Great Hall chat so lettuce pray that he doesn’t act like a petty fool if we swap together. I am kinda anticipating a swap after this tribal but we’ll see!!!

we won immunity and nothing has changed on my tribe for me since my last confessional woo consistency yay c:

im sad. we have to vote out vi which is so sad. i love her shes so sweet but i have suhc a tight bond with jess and nick that like there isnt another option. but ugh someone hold my hand

Darn, we were so close to winning, yet so far. Always remember, the unintentional matsing is just as mighty as the intentional, so 3 of us making swap or merge is much more advantageous than a unit of 4. I love my tribe, I do, and I genuinely feel I may be in danger! I trust Jess and Jacob though (JJJ: Jess, Jacob, Jay), so I’m hoping for another unanimous decision. (I will probably be asleep at tribal since I have 1 hour of sleep today)

So out tribe basically gave everything they could in a 12 hour challenge of Hell. I tried especially hard thinking I would be voted out if we lost because no one really talks "game" with me. I know that side seasons are 'Survivor Lite' but typically people at least talk game. I know I wasnt the target from last vote because everyone assured me they want to work with me and Josh said to vote him out in the tribe chat. Apparently though Josh wanted to do a blindside and reached out to Autumn to let her know asking me if he had asked me. So honestly Autumn is the truest! The other two notnvoting me inlobe seeing but if Josh talked to them then... hm Anyway I cant play a perfect game anymore :( Also I have officially dug through all of Hagrids things and he has no idol for me. I thought he might have something in could take and use somewhere else since he is a keeper of keys. But naw.

Guess who lost by two points!! Fricking Nicholas and Jacob leaving us for 7 hours. Then nick only showed up for the last 3ish but he didn’t even submit anything. Wth? We’re gonna try to kick him out.

i love my tribe so much we keep having more and more fun each time :D i definitely think after max's april fools prank i'm even more inclined to want to vote him if we lose, but i'm also grateful he's not really gone because mayhaps a weeb alliance in the future is possible.... !!! i also always utilize the great hall segments to make myself known and thought about even if people also think i'm a bit annoying, idc, the main thing is they remember me and when we meet on a swap or something i am one of the first they choose to talk to! it is always an important strategy of mine, people don't realize that in big games, one of the most crucial things you can do is leave a big first impression on people on the other tribes, you have the lucky opportunity to get some spaces where you meet them in ORGs unlike in the real world - USE it to let them form an idea of you in their head and decide they like you before they even meet you, it's a weird phenomena but i've found it's one of my most consistent strategies, when i actually decide to employ it (flashback to me being so lazy in 2020 i barely even used one world.. eep) hufflepuff is cute and we WILL be continuing to make marshmallow moves, until i get to make my own independent marshmallow moves to win

Soooo we finally lost a challenge kfjahsdj time to put this alliance to the test! The answer seemed pretty clear to me though - everyone kinda just wants to do Miguel. I feel bad, because I do think these competitions have NOT played to his strengths at all and I know he can be a great competitor. And I really wanted to get to know him again this time around. For a second, Dan and I considered saving him as a loyal number... but I just can't do that to Joanna, who has rlly busted her ass lately. So tonight it's a harder choice than it seems, but ultimately, I'm going with Miguel, and I told him that. I really wish he would've put more effort into our conversations before he was in trouble lmao. Also, DAN FOUND THE IDOL HEHEHEEH so that's great :) Glad to know he trusted me enough to tell me about it! I think he's probably going to be pretty loyal this time to me? And I feel like I have to give that same courtesy back to him. Someone will probably take one of us out eventually. I rlllly do not want to stress. If for some reason they blindside me tonight or Miguel has another idol or something, it has been fun <3

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survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years ago

Text

Episode 2 - “Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk” - Joshua (through Autumn)

I hate flag-making challenges. I will not be helpful at all, and I hope that someone else can take the reigns and lead us to victory. I honestly feel safe going into a tribal council, but I do not want to test that theory.

Next morning

With Chips and Jules working on the crest designs, I feel confident that we will do well in the challenge. Maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst. I still have the same anxious feeling that my tribe is not active enough for my taste, but I will just have to live with it for now. Besides, at least this is not immunity because that we increase my anxiety by so much. But, I keep forgetting to search the idol hunt which is my bad, but it is just so hard and long that I do not really feel like searching all the time lol

ART CHALLENGE <333 i love these challenges. Jess made my picture 110% better and its super cute. The note that she wrote with it is also hella cute and I love the whole HP aesthetics bc i never got to go to real hogwarts ;-; but i'm sure most of yall can related. The boys weren't too helpful but nick was better than jacob who is sick. Nick was way more active aka jacob said 3 sentences the entire challenge sooooo…. if we lose idk I might just save jacob anyways bc pregame relations.

Won reward, but now we have to win immunity again. I really hope that this reward helps us continue to survive. I don't want to have to vote anyone out. We've been getting first, but I really just want to survive this challenge, its known to be hard.

I think I have been stuck with the second most challenge inept tribe in the history of my ORG career. I literally said so many answers in my version of the story and Jules just fucked it up. And then they got the girl's name wrong. And then they started mixing up characters. I know I did well, but fuck these people. God. Now we need a tribe to get 0 which is very unlikely. I will just resign myself to tribal. I hope and pray that these people have some common sense and do not want to vote me out

Listen. Listen. Listen. I dang knew this story was going to be Harry Potter based. I knew in my brain and in my heart that I shouldn’t have been the one to start that thing. What do I do? Start the dang thing. Oh well. We did alright. I would be shocked if we won tho but if we don’t I’ll be relieved. I def don’t feel confident enough but I really had a lot of fun with my tribe. I really miss this and really hope that my time isn’t cut short! I feel really good about my tribe mates sincerely. And that’s kind of scary! I would hate to see any of us to go and how it’s going to affect the bond we have if we vote someone out. In this moment with Max sitting out, it may be him who goes if we go to tribal. I hope that isn’t the case. I’ve got my fingers crossed for us. Huff Puff strong!

Honestly Jules dropped the ball sis!! But it’s okay, I love her. She’s really nice and I know she tried her best. Plus she’s in an alliance with me and Owen, so we should have the numbers against Joanna or Miguel if we go to tribal. Personally, I’d prefer Joanna to go. She’s kinda domineering, but she’s also an asset in challenges thus far. She is organized and direct. I’ve also talked to her a bit more than Miguel, so I guess I don’t really care who goes.

I’m happy I didn’t fuck up the reward comp and the shit that I drew got us a win!

I really hope I don't bomb that challenge, I answered everything that Kevin talked to me about.... I think! The rest of them tried very hard but I am SOOO glad that I asked to do my part at the end because my memory of repeating things is horrendous but I'm usually pretty good at bullshitting test answers... too bad I got some of the multiple choice stuff wrong.

I think that if we do lose I am still in a good spot on this tribe and hopefully I won't be in danger. I feel like I'm on everyone's good side and Max kind of just disappeared so maybe we could just vote him out this round? Idk.

Hopefully we don't have to worry about it. I smell a swap coming up pretty soon and I just hope I'm either with Owen or with some of the people from my tribe. I have no idea if they know anyone or are close with anyone in the other houses.

I'm still feeling the closest to Lily and Kevin but I have been talking to Landen a good bit too these days so hopefully we'll be safe or we can all just agree on Max.

16 minutes later

OOOOOH IS LANDEN PAVING THE WAY FOR A MOVE TO SEND MAX PACKING???

He just told me that me, lily and kevin are precious angels that must be protected and that he likes Max when he's around too so that sounds like something... HMMM...

I can't get cocky, I always go home when I get cocky. But I like this.

my host chat saw this first (shout-out to Drewie and Dennis): Y’all I’m an idiot. I thought I only knew 2 people in this game (Owen and chips). Then I remembered I also know Jess, Autumn, and dan. Literally love and respect each of you my brain just don’t got the strongest memory no more. I’m so sorry!!!! I literally just told landen I only know 2 ppl. I’m just gonna try to not remember it happened.

Ugh.....I need to get it together.

I love my tribe talking to each other now that we have to!! Everyday I'm like damn either I'm on the bottom or I'm not the only one with piss poor social game. Ok so... the moment the hosts said we got 1 point, I started getting ready for tribal lmaaaooo. No sense crying over it either because all the tribes basically just had to show up in order to beat that

Like how could we not go to tribal with a score of ONE? That shit's embarrassing hahaha. That's like when your teacher passes the test back to everyone sitting around you but not you so you KNOW it's bad. But you know what? It's all good cause I'd rather us take the L now and get it out the way and we can all laugh about it cause losing won't be funny after long. The real question is: will Gryffindor do this the easy way or the hard way caaauusse we all know who the weakest link is. I just wanna see if someone puts two and two together without my prodding. Chips already said we voting together right and I'm like yes sir. There's no better place than being on the same page

WE WON OMG!! Jules basically gave me nothing, which is fine, i understand, but i'm so impressed that we pulled that off. Absolutely killing these reward challenges really helps!

"Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk."

Tonight we learned Joshua is a feminist selfless man that I stan because he's volunteering to go home without me having to put his name out, which I was going to do. Like imagine if every guy had that kind of self-awareness, to recognize why he should be the vote and then embrace it instead of wreaking havoc. And wanting to see others succeed more than yourself? King shit! He knew when to hang it up and did just that. Like the number of times I've seen a vote get complicated for no fucking reason because everyone wants a fight to the death. Enough- I'm old, tired, and cannot exert too much energy at once. We got a long game ahead of us, not to mention quarantine. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Joshua. We need more players like you and I appreciate your service

im back back BACK AGAIN with another confessional! not much has changed but a few updates for the sake of these being required :) 1. max has become even more inactive, he's not reached out to me personally since the first day and any time i messaged him after that he's sent me nothing back that i can build a convo off of, so we just have stopped speaking. Luckily this challenge only required four people and everyone else SHOWED UP!! or at least spoke about their availability, while he did not. However in his defense he said he was having some issues at home and i feel for him but his inability to connect has been an issue before he spoke about anything in our tribe chat with us. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but this point my relationships with the other 3 are leaps and bounds ahead of where I am at with Max. Maybe he can pick up some speed if we continue winning challenges but, it's not looking too hot. SPEAKING OF CHALLENGES, well first we lost reward AGAIN, but we won immunity.. AGAIN! thank goodness for not being first or second boot, i always love being able to avoid these early tribals and if i can get to a swap without seeing one that would be ideal, but also if we do go and maybe vote out max? wouldn't be the worst thing. Moral of the story we won and thats exciting! however.. if we didn't.. the first big push of strategic talk came up with landen when he hinted at being frustrated with max's lack of presence which I also share. I do believe if we lost me and landen could have most definitely picked up ruthie and lily to form a four against him, if he even came to tribal. That would be my ideal situation and if we continue on this tribes hopefully it gives me a nice cushion to fall on if we do lose so i dont have to entirely blow up my social game within the first few rounds by voting out someone i've built a connection with. If max can go and the remaining four hufflepuffs can make a swap I would feel good about that, and maybe in the right circumstances we could work together on the swapped tribes because i genuinely like all of these people (yes max too but in this specific scenario he wouldn't be included bc... well..) anyways to close this off i still absolutely ADORE lily, she is fun and our conversations are really good, and same goes for ruthie, hopefully i dont have to see either of them or myself go home before we can really start playing because i think we could do some damage. :) ok anyways this was longer than i thought it would be goodbye

I'm still not over the fact that I was able to answer 7 of those questions right. I have the memory of a plastic fork. I also love that we are SAFE!

I do kind of hope things get spicy and we swap this round and become two tribes of 9. That'd be cute. I don't want VI to get bored and crack on me. BUT ALSO I think I have solid enough relationships with almost everyone on this tribe... so who knows?!

Also... these hoes really out here trying to search for an idol in PUBLIC. IN PUBLIC. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?

Dear diary, seems like we keep winning challenges, which is great but tbh i feel like every time i give a disadvantage to my team because english is not my first Language, and so far its been a vocabulary test and a listening and speaking test. I mean I knew I signed up for school but damn. Give me some macarena or drinking tequila challenge and I'll crush it

bippity boppity boo im back again with almost no content kdfasjhdskjfh

Ravenclaw working smarter and we keep winning, period!!! Thankful that y'all put Dan and I together....bc truly we will be unstoppable in these competitions. I kind of want to lose soon though to see how things would shake out, but I don't really have bad blood with anyone. Joanna seems passionate enough in the tribe chat and the challenges, even if she's dry in PMs. Miguel still won't give me anything other than a "how are you," but I hope the best for him in life lol

Still love Jules and Dan, and we made a three person alliance, but I haven't talked with either of them much one on one since it happened.... I really need to step the social game up eventually, but right now, I'm coasting, and maybe that's what I need before I find the time and resources in this game to strike!!

The idol hunt is hard but Dan seems onto something. Honestly he's gonna be a big threat sooner or later so he's sticking around as long as I can keep him! The last two games I've been in I've seen "goats" get dragged to the end and locked in final 3 positions, and then these perceived goats have ended up winning. so I want the big players in this game to rise to the top and fight it out in the end!

let’s say i am como we dice.. fed up with a lot :flushed: a lot meaning joshua starting to get on my nerves a bit! he’s genuinely sweet n all but.. the way he complained about us losing by putting down others work HHH pissed me off. which is why i will be voting him out hehe.. but so far my misting has worked because no one wants to vote me out! mwah

Slytherin killed the memory challenge. We thought we were all gonna flop bc all of us thought we sucked at memory stuff. um well we knocked it out of the park? Ravenclaw got 4 and huff/gryff got 1. We got 7 so oops. I do hope things turn out well for Gryffindor but no one I really know/care about is in that house so I'm not too worried. I hope they continue to lose or even hufflepuff since ravenclaw has 2 of my friends in it.

I have been TERRIBLE with confessionals but only because there's really not been much going on? I have an alliance with Dan and Owen, and even though I wrote off Joanna I was DEFINITELY wrong in doing that. Miguel is sort of the outlier. Our team is kinda iconic though? We've done so well on all the challenges. I might be the weakest link? More to come.

it's pretty sad but the whole tribe has agreed to vote max if we lose, basically he's just never around because of what's going on at home and like thats sad but... we gotta do what we gotta do *shrug*. I'm really feeling good about Hufflepuff moving forward, i've never bonded this much this easily with EVERYONE on a tribe and i just feel like if we keep winning or even if we lose and have to vote out max, we could be a great group for the future. especially i feel great about working with kevin, we dominated eve's game after eve came between us in 2020 that dastardly witch... :P (juuust kiddin. love ya!) but now we could totally do well in this game too i think.....

lily and ruthie are just so sweet and we really bond talking about pretty much anything,, especially lily is a great conversationalist and i just find it so natural to talk to them both. i'd love to work with any combination of people from hufflepuff in the future, hopefully i start sucking a little less at all these challenges. i think i did pretty great on memory :D

So here is the summary of what has happened since last time

We had a reward challenge that was drawing. Mine sucked. Apparently 3/4 so no reward.

We played Telephone. My team didnt realize that details are the most important parts of that and didnt share then with Autumn so Autumn didnt share them with me. Then I didnt know them when asked about them.

We scored 1 point and lost. Since I still have no alliance I'm scared that it could be me. So I kind of got an idea how everyone was feeling.

Juls let me know she wanted to vote Joshua and- it's not me so that's fine!

Then I was talking to Autumn about it and - OOP! Josh asked to be voted out. So unless he plays an idol I'm supposing he is leaving after asking to go.

woo my tribe won immunity!! we are safe! i’m glad bc i’m forming good relationships with ppl on my tribe. i think we all get along rly well so i hope we keep winning. the challenge was fun and i slayed bc i’m skinny mwah

Ya know what’s refreshing? Being on a tribe that actually wins!!! The last three games I’ve played I’ve been on flop ass starting tribes.

Now we’ll lose every challenge

10 minutes later

This sickening bitch just found a hidden immunity idol!!!! Good until f6 L A D I E S!!!!!!

HI BARBS SO I WAS GROUNDED SO I MISSED THE CHALLENGE BUT MY HUFFLEPUFF BABS SLAYED SM SO IM LIVING

CONFESSIONAL 2.1 —

Not much strategy has happened this episode, just simply tribal bonding! We are SlytherWINNING, getting reward and immunity this time! How wonderful.

Regarding my tribe mates, I love all three. I pray, pray, pray we make swap, i do Noh want to be a dirty bad guy and have to vote one out.. yet. Haha.

I was drunk during immunity, one full glass of rum & coke, so I am shocked that we won immunity. Honestly, I feel silly admitting I was drunk to my tribe because... if I can do that when drunk, imagine if I was sober. Competition Beast, duh.

I also gave up my run this round for the tribe to use. Was partially social, partially I just do not understand how to do the Hunt, so I might as well help the greater good. Either way, it comes off positively.

Hoping for a smooth journey for a little longer!

x nick

Joshue has basically quit at this point so I have no fear going into tribal

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