#some monkey's paw shit happened and here we are

[detroit-grand-prix]

maybe merc would've been better off with taking a pitlane start so they could change the setups because good lord what a honker

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi sex witch… i know you don’t answer asks urgently, and i don’t expect you to. but i want this to bring solace to my future self. i am a 16 year old trans guy. i don’t necessarily know how i feel about my body. i’ve had a crush on this straight guy who has a girlfriend for a while, and he’s staying over the night and i told him i had sexual feelings for him in so many words. i just wanted to clear the air. i did not know he wouldn’t say no. we talked for a while and he told me some things about his personal life. one of which was that the last time he cheated on a girl with a trans guy, the girl.. killed herself. and he said he wouldn’t say no. i eventually told him i didn’t want to and am now in my bed typing this to you.

i am so scared and out of my element. i’ve been wanting this for so long, but once i finally got to it i couldn’t. i know that’s probably just how it goes. but i feel so confused and scared and don’t know what else to do. i don’t want him to cheat on his girlfriend…. and i don’t know why i don’t want this if i’ve been fantasizing about it for the last 3 months.

hi anon,

might I just open by saying: jesus fucking christ.

listen: you've done absolutely nothing wrong here. you actually did something very brave by confessing your feelings without expecting them to be reciprocated. okay? that was a very cool thing you did.

you don't want the thing you've been fantasizing about for the last 3 months because, in the majority of cases, things are much more complicated and messy in real life than they are in our heads. people spend tons of time thinking about shit they would never in a million years want to happen in real life; that's what a substantial amount of fiction writing is, for one thing. in this case, you've learned some genuinely very sad and upsetting information about the guy you're into, which is a bit of a boner killer to say the LEAST, and you've also learned that he's apparently pretty down to cheat, which is extremely unsexy. it's like the story about the monkey's paw, where the family wishes to have their tragically deceased son back only to have him turn up as a shambling corpse.

sometimes things that were cool in your head kind of fucking suck irl. that's not your fault, it's just the nature of the world. keep your chin up and hold out for a guy who's not cheating on his girlfriend, king.

[allwormdiet]

Sentinel 9.3

Y'know, the irony here is that as I'm writing this post I've just started an online course with video lectures.

Solid bit of establishing characterization, an easy display of people's emotional ties and states.

Parahuman science must be so fucking hard to work with, honestly. Your subject matter is made up of a bunch of people with trauma-activated abilities that actively defy physics or other laws of reality, combination of psychology and whatever the hell you call studying outliers in how the fucking universe works.

Also glad people aren't just content to let the matter of parahuman origins end at "they just started happening." I know they haven't cracked the how or why of it in thirty years but I also know they crack it some time in the next two-ish years of canon, which should be interesting.

Also also, the inclination towards combat and conflict is... I know it's not going to be a long time until we talk about the "why" of that one either, but when we do I have notes for the designer(s) on these things

Oh, okay, so trigger events are talked about in a 100-level course, and Taylor straight up didn't know about them. Interesting? She really didn't give that much of a shit about cape stuff before stumbling into the life of a supervillain, huh.

Correlation between physical trauma -> physical powers and psychological trauma -> mental powers is interesting as well, although that leaves plenty of room for the edge cases. Glory Girl is actually the prime example there, too, brute and mover seem like the obvious tags but that doesn't cover the aura, which is I guess master? I'm less and less convinced that it was really just a foul in basketball that made her trigger tbh.

Also: I cannot even fucking imagine what the studies must be like about the New Wave families. Imagine writing your fucking thesis on the Dallon-Pelham Torment Nexus. Imagine being Victoria, Amy, Crystal, or Eric, and your family is being taught about in classes because of how "good" it is at inflicting superpowers on you. No I will not entertain the idea that either family is normal, parahuman psychology has so far shown zero signs of being healthy for anybody and it's not going to start holding back when it comes to child-rearing.

I'm not unsympathetic to what Clockblocker is stewing over, but the PRT can't let these kids dedicate every waking hour to crisis management; there will be a day where they're not dealing with a drowned city, and they might as well get ready for it now, and take time off from trudging through muck and mayhem as they do it.

Narrowing my eyes at the witch burning thing but I'm not going to harp on whatever the hell's going on there.

I think the gender divide makes sense but I don't know if it holds totally consistent in-story; the pre-Leviathan Wards and Protectorate ENE definitely leaned more male than female in its numbers, Merchants and ABB are two men to one woman, Empire is... eight men to seven women I think? I think as of right now the only teams we have that even have more women than men are Undersiders, Travelers, Faultline, and New Wave.

This is probably more math than I should be doing but whatever, don't use math in your story if you don't want someone checking it.

That's the same thing as Circus, right? Interesting that it's a known phenomenon.

He's doing his best, be nice.

Bunch of people are gonna be really annoyed when it turns out where powers come from because there's no way they could predict it from where they're standing.

Hwoof.

Oh, so that's Clockblocker's trigger event and power explained all at once, isn't it? I don't know if it's stated explicitly but "buying time in every way except for the one that matters the most to you" sounds like the kind of monkey's paw shit that powers love to do.

Now see, there's an interesting dilemma, isn't it. Family teams are all well and good (allegedly, given how parahumans work) but the moment one or more members die all of a sudden it's that much more fucked up for everybody. Even if the team persists past losing Manpower and Shielder there's no way they're gonna hold together after Amy & Vicky's Nightmare Extravaganza. One of the most notable independent teams in the setting with over a decade of experience, and in the span of a few months they're going from apex to nonexistence. I don't really have it in me to weep for the adults, see above suspicions about Torment Nexus, but I feel awful for the kids. Crystal is gonna be the last one standing until, what, Ward? That's gotta fuck you up good. Poor fucking girl.

And then the portraits. Hoo boy.

The portraits thing feels. I dunno. Do you have to put them right next to the other members? That feels like a really good way to get your underage parahumans even more fucked up about mortality if I'm being honest.

This is touching. Also fuck cancer.

Exactly what the Wards need, less open communication.

This is a hard conversation to have in a lot of ways. Weld is fumbling but he's trying, and the rest of the team needs to meet him in the middle for things to work out.

And. Ugh. I see an unfortunate side of myself in Clockblocker here. I've got an awful habit of going for low blows in an argument if I'm feeling low enough. I get mean, I say things just to make it hurt. I haven't done it in a long time, but it's still a thing I have done and can do if I don't watch it. With this at least it's an accident, or at least the extent of harm Clockblocker is doing is way beyond what he intended.

Clockblocker has the sense to fear Glory Girl in this moment, and she has the grace to forgive him.

And that's proof of who Clockblocker is when he's not at his worst. When he's not lashing out because of the active fucking wringer he's being shoved through, he's obviously thoughtful and kind; the lashing out is, uhh, understandable, but still a problem.

She's just a kid...

I talked about this with some folks on Discord, it's kind of remarkable to me that a guy with literal empathy powers couldn't hold a steady relationship with a single girl. I'm sure parahuman romance is its own special kind of fraught, but that's a little silly.

That said, it sounds like Gallant was good people.

This is very funny though

Oh hey, we have anger and futility coming back together again, haven't seen that for a minute.

Honestly I feel like the ones who try to be funny are usually the ones who've got so much shit going on in the background, anger is the least surprising thing to come from the team's designated funny one.

Good on Dennis for realizing how easy it is to use anger and how hard it can be to let go of it. Shit sucks.

Wuh oh.

This is gruesome, and a harbinger of things to come. Oh boy.

Fuck were the Travelers even doing here, anyhow?

Also crazy bold of the Wards to try and pick this fight. The Travelers have such outrageous firepower, I don't think there'd be much sense in picking this fight.

Skimming back through the fight, not a whole lot for me to say? I'm not super invested in it, I guess, it feels like there's exceptionally little actually riding on this fight. The Travelers want to fuck off and the Wards want to stop them from fucking off, the gallery fight had more meat than this.

"Oh thank god, a conflict I can throw myself into to feel useful and offset all the negative feelings that not fighting has left me stricken with."

That's not a criticism of Clockblocker by the way, if anything I'm just staring at the thing brought up earlier this chapter where most parahumans are driven into fighting each other and suspecting something of a connection.

Current Thoughts

I see some of my younger self in Clockblocker, which is ironic bc I actually had a superhero OC back in high school named Clockblock (his powers were a lot broader and his thing was more about struggling with overwhelming ennui in the face of his own significance in the grand scale of Time Itself). I hope he manages to get over that anger and hurt, but he's a parahuman, so I kinda doubt it.

Kid Win next, plus further plot developments.

[derkattun]

i dont ever post my own shit but im thinking about magnus protocol so hard. i dont know if anyone else has made these connections yet so please dont come at me too hard.

i DO know people have drawn connections to these cases and the monkeys paw, and im building off of that. i know this most recent statement seems to draw most to the fears, ie slaughter violin, but i still dont think the TMA fears, smirke's 14(/15) exist here at all. i think it is ALL desire.

think about it (lots more under the cut)

(also some stuff specifically with alice and the security notification too because it leads into that)

case 1.1 - lover wanted their partner to come back. partner does come back, or "some of him". they got what they wanted, but not really. got it back wrong

case 1.2 - redcanary wanted to explore the magnus ruins, wanted pictures, wanted to figure out what was going on in there. we all know what happened to redcanary, at least enough to assume they figured it out and then Paid The Price

case 2 - she wanted to be perfect, she wanted something about her to be perfect, she wanted the tattoo, she wanted to fix the parts of herself that werent "right"

case 3 - he wanted his partner back (again) he wanted to live happily and for a long time with her, he wanted to escape what he had done

case 4 - he wanted to shed the shackles of his family, make something of himself, be a musician, be famous, and was willing to do whatever it took to get to that point

i think, i THINK, if we stop trying to categorize this as fear and start thinking of it more as desire, MAYBE gwen isnt as much of a red herring as i, at least personally, thought. she wants nothing more than to be in lena's position, and lena has told her, literally, she "doesn't have what it takes"

sam's desire, we're figuring out pretty quickly

i also think we have colin pegged pretty well

alice. alice is a fun one. i think she was the most well-adjusted in the OIAR because she didn't have, or at least didnt act, on any specific desire. but she is now. alice's desire is all about keeping sam safe, showing him it's better to NOT have desires about the job.

how did she get access to a security notification that didnt go to someone with adequate clearance?

[lakesbian]

How do you think Alec would have handled getting the Valkyrie treatment? Being made into a puppet in the same way that he did to other people, his sacrificial suicide being subverted by another cape who uses people as tools but in a much more complete and permanent sense, coming back wrong and having his cape identity irrevocably a part of his body and self, and no longer being able to take off the mask, is this anything?

see i've rotated this extensively in my mind before because i think coming up with how a cape's design would turn out if they got glastig uained is a really fun exercise (do that shit to lisa for some Fun eyeball body horror!!) but i'm struggling to come up with what would happen to alec :( the most obvious answer is the crown becoming like. Attached. to his head. but id ont know if that's too far out there. there's also the concept of having his face frozen in a permanent smirking expression but i feel like that would go Too tragically counter to the point of a 'surprise hes back again' au wherein he would be expected to. yknow. realize and experience some of his feelings again at some point. so yeah i'd need someone else to help me figure that one out.

anyway the actual experience of being glastig uained. if i recall correctly in ward brian says it was basically just like waking up feeling like everything from before he died was just a few days ago not Years ago so i don't think alec would care that much that someone was using his ghost or whatever for shit while he was dead, relative 2 all the other problems in his life. wouldnt even notice with the type of shit hes got going on. the big reason why this au doesn't really work is that it's just Wildly Unproductively Depressing. it seems like ciara only starts bringing random people back by the time aisha is like. what. 20?

it works Fine and Actually Thematically Interesting Well that brian is like oh FUCK youve GROWN UP when he gets back because it's relevant 2 their sibling dynamics. but it does. it does not work if alec gets back and aisha is like 20. it's just depressing. from alec's PoV it would be "congrats you've been brought back into a world where your best and only friend is too old and character-developmented for you to actually have a close connection with even though for you it feels like she was still your age only a few days ago and also your fucking shit ass siblings are here too and btw the world ended so all of the nice luxuries you were enjoying previously are not options anymore. go feed the earth gimel sheep boy." and from aisha's perspective her best friend would be back but in a monkeys paw way where he did not get to grow up with her and he's still little and sad and fucked up and more like one of his siblings that she's caring for/trying to help vs the equal best friendship she Wants but Can't Have because he is Fifteen. so now everything sucks and is sad for everyone involved. :(.

i would say "on the 'up'side this is a hot new contender for scenarios wherein lisa could feasibly decide alec is her new sopping wet fixer-upper" but she already has an even more absurd and unstable option (that one cop) so as usual alec remains background. btw he would be offended on taylors behalf that lisa had replaced taylor with victoria (who he does not like because shes annoying) and entirely oblivious that taylor had ever thought or said anything about him being sucks and utterly lacking in interiority. AUs that have potential to be funny wrt alec's interactions with the other undersiders but are wildly fucking depressing when you get to his interactions with aisha.

if we fudge a bit and say ciara brings him back like riiight after gold morning aisha would only be a bit over a year older than him so that's more doable in terms of character development and eventual reconnection but it'd still be a mess. i'm not articulating my explanation of how aisha's character development works rn and i don't feel like saying something wrong so i'll just leave it here but trust me it'd still be a mess. maybe an interesting one but a mess

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ALSO. HIIII good evening <3 holding microphone up to u. i would love ur scion thoughts post-interlude!! if u have any!! i know u have Opinions on him i wanna know how the redstringing's going!!!!

OH DUDE I HAVE SOOOOOOOOOOOO MANY FUCKING OPINIONS. GOD. WHAT THE FUCK . WAS NOT EXPECTING 2 LEARN THIS INFORMATION WHEN I WAS TIPSY ON CLOWN WINE AT MIDNIGHT BUT ALAS HERE WE FUCKING ARE I GUESS. CASUAL WORM READING EXPERIENCE. FUCK

okay okay okay oka. that interlude was so fucking good it both answered some of my questions and also gave me SO MANY MORE QUESTIONS. as soon as kevin started talking about being the most powerful man in the world i KNEW. i KNEW it was gonna be some scion bullshit. at first i thought it was gonna be like some... witch from beauty and the beast bullshit where he Was Actually scion just. posing as an eccentric homeless guy out of costume. which would have disappointed me i think because i am so dead set on scion Not Being Human.

WHICH. I FEEL SO STRONGLY IN MY HEART THIS CHAPTER SUPPORTED SO WELL. when they described how Simurgh first appeared floating motionless over a city. dude. dude. my first fucking thought with that was "hey that sounds like what people say about scion." he doesnt speak. his face never moves. hes extremely powerful, so far the only person powerful to drive away the endbringers. he's GOTTA be the same type of thing they are. not human, never was human, but for some reason he Looks Human. like... simurgh does too, but shes still huge and has weird proportions and the wings. scion as far as i know is normal sized and looks mostly human besides being gold. i havent figured that out yet

having a LOT OF FEELINGS about . the whole reason scion does what he does is because some miserable man with a heart of gold told him to. side note i reallyyyy really got attached to kevin i liked him a lot :( that brings into question SO MANY fucking things about the endbringers. this is full on mac ghostiezone game theory moment at this point but. i dont know where they came from, but it seems like at their first appearance they were... susceptible to orders? and this just happened to be an extremely lucky right place at the right time moment. I cant even imagine a world where scion wasnt a "hero" and was instead a force of destruction like the endbringers. which brings up the question... did anyone else try to talk to the endbringers at their first appearances? i cant IMAGINE anyone would willingly go near leviathan or behemoth considering their more monstrous dangerous appearance . but what about simurgh? im acting on the assumption that the endbringers are some sort of Creation and i dont know what their purpose is but either option 1: someone DID talk to the other 3 and it was someone with extremely bad intentions and gave them the orders to become what they are now or option 2: nobody said shit to them and theyre acting on base instinct????? idk. im viewing the endbringers more like. animals or natual disasters than anything and i dont know if thats exactly correct to do but its how my brain works. so.

the big difference between them is that... scion acts with a Goal, where the endbringers seem more like forces of nature that dont really act with any sort of. purpose. simurgh is the exception to this though since she went out of her way to obscure the information about power origins from reaching dragon and also the way she acts makes it seem like... she Knows something. i dont know i still have sooo many questions.

im REALLY worried about whats gonna happen now that kevin gave him the new order to kill. im really worried its gonna be like a monkeys paw situation where... maybe one or all of the endbringers will die, but then what the fuck does he do after that. come back to whats her name (is it lisette?) for more orders? theres no guarantee lisette will be anywhere near as. idk. selfless? as kevin? that feels wrong. idk. she seemed scared of that situation and didnt want the responsibility placed on her so what if she avoids it and never gives scion any other orders???? will he just fall back on old programming and start killing other "bad" things???? is THIS how the fucking apocalypse starts. this has gotta be connected to the apocalypse in some way i can feel it in my bones. scion with kill orders makes me feel crazy.

[infinitethree]

Vio!! You forgot to tell me whether or not you want to see the fanart, so I took it as a yes!

I've actually made a second one by now, so I thought I'd throw that in too. Shame you don't like snow, although I personally think it's overrated.

The alien blinks in surprise at the pair of images that pop up in front of him.

Right; Day had mentioned that this was a thing that Observers could do.

“Huh,” he says, head tilting to the side. Before the not-kids can ask what happened, he tells them, “I got…fanart.”

They all perk up, and he huffs and says, “Yes, I’ll let you see it. I think I just need to say that for it to–?”

Before the statement can finish, the other four get the popups as well.

Toma claps his hands in delight. “Grandad fanart!” Instead of correcting him, Vio just heaves a long-suffering sigh. 

So sue him; he has a soft spot for the zombie piglin child.

Aryll snickers, “The cold weather gear is too colorful for him, but otherwise…yeah, pretty much, that’s him alright!” “It’s not my fault I’m not built for snow! Snow wasn’t a fucking issue in the deserts and savannahs where I’m meant to be,” Vio reminds him.

The not-brothers and Toma laugh at that, while Vio rolls his eyes at them. “Yeah, yeah– yuck it up, you menaces.” “Hanging around Day too much, bossman,” Zinn cackles, “who wants to take bets on how long before you start calling us gremlins you love very much?”

The enderman hybrid points at him. “That’s what I said! He’s spending too much time with Day, which is hilarious because he stayed here to avoid him.”

“I don’t have a choice! I have a travel with him and Theo, and they talk a lot!” “Uh-huh,” Toma snorts, “That’s tooootally all it is.”

Aver furrows his brow, and the merriment quiets a little. “...Okay, and? If it’s not malicious, I don’t really fuckin’ care. Lots’ve us have secrets.” As if to prove his point, he gestures over at Vio, who looks wary at being dragged into this.“Monkey’s Paw ‘ere keeps his therapist a secret for…some fuckin’ reason?” 

“Because I feel like it,” Vio answers, sounding slightly affronted, “Let me have my mischief.”

“Yeah, see? S’ fuckin’ weirdchamp, but doesn’t really matter. If whoever’s lying to everyone or whatever isn’t doing it out of malice or to hurt people…then it’s not my fuckin’ business, innit?”

The alien pauses, looking a little concerned. “Someone is lying to everyone?” “Ehh, according to the– what, we’re calling them Observers? One of ‘em said that. But from what I hear, some of ‘em are dicks.”

Zinn narrows his eyes. “You said something about not being able to hear whatever they said, though.” “Mmh. Yeah, fuckin’ redacted to hell n’ back,” Aver sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. He’s not exactly thrilled at being the one who has to decide if it was or wasn’t something important.

“Didn’t Atlas get something with a cut part, a while back?” Aryll’s question makes Aver nod. “Yep. Just a blip, though. This one was pretty much the whole fuckin’ thing. But…”

He shrugs his shoulders. “Pretty much everyone has fuckin’ secrets, yeah? Not my fuckin’ place to drag that shit into the spotlight.”

For all his insistence that it doesn’t really matter, he can’t help but feel uneasy about the situation.

The goat hybrid hums, fingers drumming on the side table next to him. “...Sure, I’ll take your word on that.”

He pauses. “Wait, what do you mean double check? Do you have a reference about who we are?”

[inkweaver22-blr]

Bunny Bros

When cornered and with no way to escape, Tang is forced to reveal something about himself to save his friends. He can only hope things will go well.

The van was destroyed. Luckily no one had been inside when Macaque had smashed it with his shadow mech, but that was perhaps the only upside to their predicament. Tang looked around desperately for any way they could possibly escape. To their right was a drop off into a deep ravine. To their back was a sheer cliff that they had no way of climbing. They couldn’t outrun the mech so the empty plains to their left wasn’t an option either.

The black furred demon couldn’t have picked a better place to corner them. They were completely trapped.

Tang winced at the loud roar Mei gave as she swung her sword again. She was doing her best to hold Macaque off, but with his mech continuously regenerating it would be only a matter of time before she wore herself out. With MK’s powers still not working and the Monkey King stuck in his meditative trance, it seemed there was no way out of the situation.

“This ain’t good,” Pigsy said, mirroring Tang’s thoughts. “We’ve got nowhere to go and Mei’s not going to last much longer.” The pig demon shook his head. “It’s hopeless!”

Tang froze at that. Hope… He reached up and clasped at the wooden talisman he never removed that rested beneath his robes. There was somewhere that they could go. Of course, the key had been meant only for him and this wasn’t how he had meant to reveal himself to the others. But it was an emergency! He’d simply have to ask for forgiveness later once they were all safe.

Determined to go through with it before his resolve wavered, Tang bent down and quickly began unlacing his boots.

“Uh, Tang? What are you doing?” Sandy asked, lightly repositioning the unresponsive Monkey King in his arms.

“Getting us out of here,” Tang replied, kicking off his boots and pulling off his socks as well.

“How is taking off your shoes going to help?” Pigsy said skeptically.

“You’ll see.” Tang straightened up and turned to look his friends in the eyes. “No matter what happens, I need you all to trust me.”

“What’s going to happen?” MK sounded a bit nervous. “Tang?”

“Please, just trust me.”

“I-” MK turned to look over at where Mei clashed with the shadow mech. He swallowed and looked back to Tang. “O-okay. I trust you.”

“I trust you, little buddy,” Sandy pitched in enthusiastically.

“You better know what you’re doing,” Pigsy grumbled, but made no further complaint.

“Thank you,” Tang sighed in relief. “Just… save your questions for later, alright?”

Tang closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It had been some time since he had reverted to his birth form. It wasn’t strictly necessary to activate the key, but if he was to delay Macaque long enough for Mei to join them it would be. After all, his connection to the Earth and his magic was much stronger while in that form.

He focused and began to change. Fur sprouted all over his body. His feet shifted to where he stood primarily on his toes. His skull elongated into a snout. Claws grew from his fingers which shortened in length and developed paw pads. A short fluffy tail grew from the base of his spine and his ears lengthened quite significantly. Tang took a breath once the transformation finished and opened his eyes. His friends stared back in astonishment.

“Whoa…” Sandy said with his mouth open.

“You’re a rabbit?!” Pigsy exclaimed.

“You’re orange?” MK said, seeming more perplexed by his bright fur color than his sudden species change.

“I’ll explain later,” Tang promised as he turned towards the mech and flexed his paws. He grinned as he felt his magic flow through him. “Right now we need to get out of here.”

He took a stance and focused. Once he built up enough magic, he stepped forward and swung his fists down in a straightforward and sturdy motion. He then pulled back up. The earth around the shadow mech pulled up as well, encasing it in stone up to its neck.

“Holy shit!”

“Mei, get over here,” Tang shouted, somewhat out of breath. He was really out of practice. He reached under his robes and clasped the totem in his paw. “Everyone grab hold of me!”

Thankfully, Mei didn’t ask any questions as she dashed over and held onto Tang with the others. She did raise an eyebrow at him though.

“Later,” Tang said as he pulsed his magic into the totem. He grit his teeth as the shadow mech began to break free of the rock. He felt a wave of relief as the totem responded with its own magic and washed over him and his friends. “Here we go!”

Tang tapped his foot against the ground twice. The earth beneath the group opened up and they fell in. By the time Macaque freed himself the hole closed as if it had never been there to begin with.

----------

MK’s screams soon turned into shouts of exhilaration as they slid down the tunnel Tang had summoned. He wasn’t sure exactly what was going on, but this was better than any slide he had ever been on! Tang himself was actually running along the surfaces of the tunnels on all fours as the group descended. That was just so cool!

Before long the tunnel flattened out and deposited them into an undignified heap. MK laughed as pulled himself free.

“That was awesome!” He cheered along with Mei. He ignored Pigsy’s muttered cursing as he looked around.

“Whoa…” MK breathed as he took in their surroundings. “Where are we?”

They were in what appeared to be a giant underground cavern. Yet there seemed to be light coming from up above them somewhere. Every direction he looked he saw green, vibrant plant life. The air was fresh and pleasant and carried the scent of Spring. Even with his powers being on the fritz, MK could just feel the capital M Magic that filled this place. It reminded him quite a bit of Flower Fruit Mountain, actually.

“We’re somewhere safe,” Tang replied as he stood alert. MK blinked as he had to look up into Tang’s face. He had almost forgotten Tang was a rabbit. That apparently meant he was taller now. He had so many questions for the scholar.

“Somewhere safe?” Sandy said as he made sure Monkey King hadn’t suffered any damage during their wild ride.

“Yes. At least, I hope so…” Tang said as he continued to watch down the path the tunnel had deposited them on. “I, uh, don’t have the permission to bring strangers with me here. I’m just glad the key accepted you all and actually opened for us.”

“Wait, are you saying this might not have worked?!” Pigsy said, incredulous. “And what do you mean you don’t have permission to bring strangers here?”

“It means the owner of this place is going to be pretty ticked off at me,” Tang winced. “He’s not very sociable and doesn’t like his solitude to be interrupted. He’s also really grumpy, even on his best days. We’ve known each other for a long time though, so just let me do the talking and he shouldn’t kick us out. Hopefully.”

“We’re doomed,” Pigsy groaned.

MK was about to ask a question when he noticed Tang’s ears perk up. The rabbit held up a paw to motion for silence and took a step forward. He sniffed the air and turned towards a rock formation that MK realized was shaped like an egg. That was odd…

“I know you’re there,” Tang called out. “I know your manners tend to be lacking with how much you isolate yourself, but surely you know how to greet your guests properly?”

“Didn’t he just say this guy gets pretty grumpy?” Mei hissed in an urgent whisper. “Why is he antagonizing him?!”

“Hah! As if you’d know what proper manners are,” a voice with an Australian accent called back before MK could respond. Out from behind the rock a figure stepped.

MK blinked. It was another rabbit. This one, however, seemed to have a relatively normal fur color of blue-gray with a white undercoat. He… wasn’t wearing anything. Luckily, there didn’t seem to be anything to look at. It was hard to tell, but MK thought he might be taller than Tang as well.

“Still not wearing clothes, I see,” Tang taunted. “When will you grow tired of streaking through the countryside?”

“It ain’t streaking if there ain’t nothing there ta show,” the gray rabbit said heatedly as he stalked forward. “Clothes are impractical when we’ve got fur.”

“I’m not sure shapeshifting your bits away disqualifies you from being classified as naked and thus streaking,” Tang sniffed. “But at least you're modest when it comes to your nudism.”

“Like yer one to talk,” the gray rabbit stopped a few feet away and gestured at Tang. “I know for a fact ya only started wearing clothes when ya began pretending to be a hairless ape. What happened to that, eh? Too cold for ya?”

“What the hell is happening?” MK whispered to Mei, who only shook her head with her mouth hanging open.

“I’ll have you know being human can be quite comfortable,” Tang countered. “We just… ran into a bit of trouble that required me to need full access to my magic.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” the gray rabbit scowled. “Is that why ya brought all these strangers to my Warren unannounced and unauthorized?”

“Yes,” Tang said simply, staring intently at the gray rabbit.

“I see.” The gray rabbit stared back with an equal intensity.

There was a heavy silence for a few moments. As MK looked nervously between the two, he began to notice some similarities. Not just because they were rabbits. Their facial structures were alike. There were darker markings in their fur on their foreheads that seemed to form near matching symbols. Heck, even their eyes were the exact same shade of green.

Before he could theorize what that meant, both rabbits tensed. MK and the others all shifted to prepare for a fight. Tang and the gray rabbit moved-

-and began laughing uproariously as they hugged. Huh. MK had not been expecting that. He turned to look at the others but only received equally baffled expressions in return. MK turned back to find the rabbits’ laughter had died down and they were now pressing their foreheads together.

“Missed ya a lot, Tangerine,” the gray rabbit said softly.

“Missed you too, Euca,” Tang replied.

“Why don’t ya introduce me to yer friends and then we can talk about this trouble yer in.”

“Right,” Tang stepped out of the gray rabbit’s- Euca’s?- embrace and began to excitedly introduce them all.

“This is Pigsy. He’s my, uh, partner. I’m sorry I didn’t invite you but it was a courtroom wedding sooo…”

‘Euca’ simply raised an eyebrow before glaring at the pig demon.

“Gonna have to have a few words with ya later, mate.”

“Uhh…” Pigsy swallowed nervously.

“This is MK!” Tang hurriedly moved on. “He’s our son!”

MK felt the huge grin on his face as a warmth bloomed in his chest. He would never grow tired of being called that.

Euca’s eyebrows shot up at that and his mouth fell open.

“Biological?”

“Adopted,” Tang gently corrected. 

“Ah,” Euca nodded sadly. He smiled at MK. “Good ta meet ya.”

“Nice to, uh, meet you too?”

“This is Mei,” Tang continued. “MK’s best friend and descendant of the Dragon of the West.”

“I thought that blade looked familiar,” Euca said. “Good on ya for earning the right to wield it. Ao Run can be a right prickly bastard when it comes to who he allows to use it.”

“Thanks?” Mei seemed torn between being confused and flattered.

“This is our friend Sandy,” Tang went on. “He’s an incredible pilot and engineer! Some of the stuff he makes gives me hope that mortals might reach the level of technology we’re used to in a few dozen centuries!”

Wait, what? MK’s mouth hung open at that. Had he said a few dozen centuries? He turned to an equally shocked Pigsy who seemed to be mouthing the word ‘mortals’ to himself.

“Really now?” Euca eyed the big blue demon up and down. “I’ll have to pick yer brain later and see how good ya are.”

“Uh, sure thing,” Sandy agreed. He shifted the Monkey King in his arms, drawing the gray rabbit’s attention. He froze as he spotted the meditating figure.

“Tangerine,” he said with very obvious forced calmness.

“Yes?” Tang said nervously.

“What the fuck is bloody Sun Wukong doing in my Warren?”

“Ah, well, he’s kinda MK’s mentor since he chose him to be his successor?” 

“What?”

“Look, it all has to do with that trouble I mentioned. Plus he’s stuck in his meditation right now so he can’t cause any trouble like last time. Can we finish introductions first before you decide to kick us out?”

“Fine,” Euca pinched the bridge of his nose. “But if he wakes up and ruins the paint river again, I’m blaming you.”

MK’s mind was still swimming with everything that had been said so far and barely registered the ‘last time’ comment. What the hell was going on? Why had Tang hidden all this from them? What exactly was all this to begin with? He was really, really confused.

“Everyone,” Tang said, drawing MK’s attention. He had wrapped an arm around the taller rabbit’s shoulder. Euca rolled his eyes but smiled fondly at the orange rabbit anyway. Tang took a deep breath before he spoke again.

“Everyone, this is my older brother, Eucalyptus.”

MK’s mouth hung open once again.

“I told ya not to call me that in front of strangers,” the gray rabbit grumbled. He stood up straight. “E. Aster Bunnymund, at your service. Call me Bunny for now.” He smirked at the gobsmacked expressions of Tang’s friends. “But ya might know me better as the Easter Bunny.”

MK’s brain officially fizzled out and stopped processing.

----------

This was just a fun little oneshot I thought up after finishing my latest chapter of Scattered Cicadas. I'm not sure if I'll continue it, but it was certainly amusing to write!

AO3 Link

[candyskiez]

Here's some fake titles for that fic game! Choose whatever fandom you want for each!

Every Good Intention

Strawberries in Summertime

If I Could Tell You

WOOOO thank you!!

Every Good Intention: maybe a toh fic. probably luz centric. maybe, an idea, her efforts to curing eda's curse getting more and more extreme and really really bad ideas. because as shes realizing the curse is getting really bad and she's realizing that nothing she does is making it better and is making it worse and her being upset makes eda upset and being upset makes the curse worse ...yeah, she's starting to get frantic. or maybe an au where she DID get the healing hat, but it had some very unfortunate side effects. because well, y'know. monkeys paw and all that, a little too good to be true. let alone the fact it belongs to the emperor, it couldve been a trap, or he tried to safeguard it against outside use. luz guilt, mama eda, all that good shit.

Strawberries in Summertime: maybe a sweet or bittersweet fic. perhaps nostalgic painful childhood friends reflecting. going back to the place they used to hang out in and just,, the painfulness of realizing how much has changed. but it'll be okay, it's just gonna be different. they're still here despite everything. just. the sadness of realizing how much has changed mix with "despite everything, we stuck together." I dunno I'm bad at ideas

If I could tell you: probably a fic about secrets, of course. maybe it's about a traumatic event. the truth of what happened eats the person up and they want nothing more than to scream what happened but they're so fucking ashamed. they're terrified of being judged for what happened. they feel so guilty and shameful. maybe it's survivors guilt. maybe it's they've been victim blamed so much. maybe they made a mistake and it had disastrous consequences. it's about shame around trauma and the stigma. blah blah blah you get it. hopefully would have a happy ending.

[makeste]

but I just feel too tired to be fighting

this is a follow-up post to what I said in my recap the other day about this arc being the Deku Angst arc, as opposed to the Villain Hunt arc or the Deku SIXQUIRKS Exhibition arc. I feel like the fandom discussion tends to focus on the flashier parts of the chapters -- the sexy villains and the new quirk reveals and the Shindous -- each week, and so the quieter emotional beats sometimes get overlooked, especially since the character arc here is playing out in little bits and pieces over time rather than all at once.

this has always been a very reactionary fandom, and there’s a tendency to judge the chapters week to week without ever going back to look at how they all fit into the big picture. so I figured I would try to attempt that, and basically go chapter by chapter here to look at what exactly Horikoshi is setting up and how it all fits together.

so let’s start with the end of chapter 306, which is when the arc officially kicks off. specifically with the very last page:

this is imo one of the best pages Horikoshi has ever drawn. I got the sense that this was a scene he’d had in his mind’s eye for quite a long time, and that he was excited to finally get to this part of the story. it’s extremely effective as both a chapter-ender, and an arc-opener. like, look at this:

it establishes the initial premise of the new arc -- the world is in chaos, and Deku is now seemingly on his own

it leaves the readers with a number of questions. why did Deku leave U.A.?? is he really on his own now?? why does he look so beat-up and exhausted?? what is he up to?? what is the world like now that all these villains have been unleashed and the heroes have been decimated?? and most importantly of all, what the fuck is going to happen next??

it pays homage to some of Horikoshi’s comic book influences -- Batman in particular

it dramatically hits us with that “THE FINAL ACT BEGINS” and lets us know that shit is getting real now

that’s some good shit. so much so that I think people tended to overlook the other notable thing about this page amidst all of the initial excitement and discussion and speculation about where the series was headed. and that is the fact that the final panel in this chapter is NOT the panel of Deku standing above the city. the very last panel, the one that this chapter actually ends on, is instead the close-up of Deku’s face. his face, which is covered in shadow; and his eyes, which have dark circles under them and are prominently missing the usual flecks of light that give him his signature “sunny optimistic shounen protagonist” look.

not to mention this last line here, which is a call back to the very first time we saw the 14-year-old Deku way back in chapter one.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Horikoshi chose to throw this reference in. nor is it a coincidence that THIS is the scene he actually chose to end the chapter on. what this does is show us the drastic shift in Deku’s emotional state of mind, and his attitude towards being a hero. he’s gone from being thrilled and excited to being jaded and exhausted. he’s matured, but at a great cost. it’s always been his dream to be a hero, but “be careful what you wish for” is a popular adage for a reason. and right now he looks the furthest thing from happy.

and this is the emotional beat that Horikoshi chooses to end the chapter on. this is the panel that closes out the War arc, and begins the final act. to me the message could not be clearer -- this arc will be about the exploration of Deku’s character, and his struggle as he tries to live up to the expectations that have been placed on him as the Last Holder of OFA and quite possibly the World’s Only Hope.

it’s a character arc that builds on a lot of the things we’ve already learned about Deku over the course of the series, such as the fact that he is reckless, and that he focuses on others often at the expense of himself. but more importantly, it’s an arc that finally expands on the dark side of what has up until now been a net positive for Deku -- the power of OFA. up until this point, despite its ups and downs, it’s been a boon for Deku overall and has allowed him to pursue his dream. but now we’re finally reaching the point where the monkey’s paw part of the OFA blessing/curse finally starts to come into play. OFA gives Deku more power than he could have ever dreamed of, but it also comes with a built-in destiny that he can’t opt out of whether he likes it or not. AFO is on the loose and out there trying to destroy the world. and now everyone has pinned their hopes on this sixteen-year-old kid, and the question of whether or not the sixteen-year-old kid is ready is apparently not one that anyone feels inclined to ask (possibly because they’re afraid that the answer might be “no”).

he doesn’t have a choice in the matter. he has to do it, because there’s no one else who can. that’s the kind of pressure that is on Deku now.

and on that note, we begin the Deku Angst arc.

chapter 307

this in hindsight was mostly just a set-up chapter to better establish the current state of the BnHA world at large (spoilers: it’s not good), while also providing an answer for one of the big initial questions of the arc -- namely, “what happened to all of those villains that AFO released from Tartarus?” these are important things to touch on, but the pacing could definitely have been better, and the bulk of the chapter was dedicated to providing fanservice to all of the Shindou fans who spammed the most recent popularity poll (which, whatever lol). anyway, so this was the sole chapter thus far with absolutely no Deku development. thankfully the arc picks up from there.

chapter 308

on to the next one! this was the one and only chapter thus far which I think actually qualifies as an “exhibition fight.” this was definitely all about showing off Deku’s current powerset, as well as introducing us to another of the SIXQUIRKS. however, there was Deku development here as well, most notably in this scene:

this is the scene that got a lot of people speculating that this arc was going to focus on Deku hunting down all of the old villains. but I think people got so caught up in that speculation that they overlooked what this scene tells us about Deku’s mindset. and yes, there is new information being revealed here, and it’s not just a rehash of the stuff we already knew. like yes, we know that Deku was shaken up by the recent encounters with Dabi and Tomura, and we know that made him start questioning why villains become villains in the first place, and all that good stuff, and that’s great. however, there are two additional important things that this scene helps establish for us.

the upcoming battle with TomurAFO is weighing heavily on Deku’s mind. this is something that will become a recurring theme in this arc. Deku is thinking about this constantly. the question of what to do when he finally encounters TomurAFO again is knocking incessantly at the back of his mind, and this won’t be the last time it comes up.

Deku is using these villain encounters as test runs. can Tomura be redeemed?? is he just being stupid and naïve?? or is this really something worth attempting?? the interesting thing about this is that Deku’s resolve to save people is usually so strong and unwavering that it’s more than enough to overcome any doubts that he might have. but this time it seems like the repeated objections posed by the Vestiges and Gran Torino have really gotten to him. it’s possible I’m just reading way too much into things, but to me it really feels like Deku’s recent attempts at Talk no Jutsu were meant to do more than just show his growing awareness that the line between heroes and villains is thinner than he once imagined. they’re also serving as trial runs for the real test, when it finally comes. if he can “save” even a villain like Muscular, there’s hope for him being able to save Tomura as well. and so that moment when Muscular rejects him out of hand is all the more disappointing to him, even if it wasn’t really unexpected. basically it wasn’t the answer that he had been hoping for.

aside from those little notes though, like I said, this was unquestionably an exhibition fight first and foremost. which is fine; we needed to establish where Deku is currently in terms of strength, and it was also just fun to see him kick some ass, ngl. in terms of story purpose this chapter was similar to 219, which showed us how Shouto and Katsuki had powered up after getting their provisional licenses. people who don’t care about those characters might argue that these fights weren’t necessary, but as someone who stans all three characters hard, I would disagree! but anyways, moving on.

chapter 309

in contrast to the previous chapter, this chapter focuses more on establishing Deku’s current mental state, as opposed to his physical state. and this is what we learn:

(1) Deku is ~technically~ being shadowed/accompanied by All Might and the Hawksquad (but in practice he’s avoiding them).

(2) it was Deku’s own decision to leave U.A., and he did it because he didn’t want anyone else getting hurt in order to protect him.

and finally, (3) Deku’s game plan is to stop Tomura and All for One before they reach full power.

this last part is very important, because it means there’s a countdown in effect. as far as Deku is concerned, there’s only a finite amount of time before TomurAFO becomes unstoppable. which means that he’s not only under “gotta get stronger” pressure, but time pressure as well. he doesn’t have the luxury of taking his time and training in safety. he’s being rushed now; this is do-or-die.

this chapter is also the first in this arc in which we get to see Deku’s expressions without the hood covering up his face, and what we see is very telling. as previously stated, the light is gone from Deku’s eyes. he keeps his expressions very neutral, and the only time we even see a hint of a smile is when he hugs his mom in the flashback, and it’s clear from the dialogue (“it’s okay, I’ll come home to you”) that he’s doing it for her sake in order to comfort her.

but aside from that, this is very much not the Deku we’ve grown accustomed to. this is the chapter that really establishes his current mental state imo. above all else, he’s afraid that more people will get hurt because of him, and so he’s distancing himself from everyone around him. and he’s also morbidly preoccupied with the inevitability of having to face TomurAFO again, and soon. the chapter ends on the flashback of Gran giving him his cape, and telling Deku that “killing can be another way to save someone.” there’s a lot on this kid’s mind, to say the least.

chapter 310

this chapter opens with a gang of civilians who are trying to open fire on a nice fox lady whose only crime was walking around in the rain at night. Deku intervenes to save her, and it’s the first time in this arc that we see anything close to the “old” Deku, who just wanted to save people with a smile.

but it’s bittersweet, because all the lady can talk about is how scared she was, and how horrible everything is right now. and so Deku, who feels responsible in a lot of ways for everything that’s happened, just feels that much more pressure to somehow make things right again.

there’s also this extra throwaway line which is especially heartbreaking:

“I can’t afford to be around anyone.” fucking ouch. just reinforcing once more how incredibly isolated Deku is right now -- not by choice, but because he feels like it’s not safe to let anyone else get close to him. and so he’s out here running around this dystopian cityscape in the middle of the night in the pouring rain all on his own, and neglecting himself to the point where All Might practically has to force a bento on him.

but does he complain? of course not. because his focus is never on himself. instead, when he settles down to eat, his thoughts immediately drift back to, guess who...

it’s that time pressure once again. “unless I draw out One for All’s full power, I can’t stop any of this.” it’s just nonstop, I have to get stronger, I’m running out of time, I have to do better, and constantly thinking about that inevitable confrontation.

Deku is a thinker, you guys. and when left to his own devices he will overthink, every time. his mind will run in endless loops while he mentally works his way through all of the possibilities. and that’s one of his greatest strengths, don’t get me wrong, but at a time like this it’s also one of his greatest weaknesses. it’s just so fucking easy for him to get stuck in his own head, in his endless rambling thoughts and analyses. and without anyone else there to help distract him, or help him focus, he’s become fixated on his mission, and it’s slowly consuming him.

this, incidentally, is also the chapter in which we finally see Two and Three’s faces, and learn why Two in particular is so reluctant to lend his power to Deku. he appears to be the lone holdout at this point, so stay tuned on that, because I don’t doubt this will wind up being crucial to Deku’s future development, however it winds up playing out.

chapter 311

this chapter flips back to the Hawksquad for the first half, so we get a brief respite from the ongoing Dekuangst. right before we switch back though, we do get confirmation of something we had pretty much already guessed:

like, that much was already apparent based on what we’d seen (the bags under his eyes; the fact that he refused to sit still in any one place for very long even at night), but it’s always nice to get the official confirmation so that people can’t dispute it lol. so yeah, Deku isn’t sleeping much. and not eating much either, if all he’s getting is the occasional bento from Dadmight. so basically not taking care of himself at all, huge shocker there. but this is something that’s important enough to the story that Horikoshi took the time to point it out in the dialogue, in addition to all of the visual clues we’d already gotten.

and just in case we needed to drive that point in any further, this chapter ends with the appearance of Lady Nagant! like yeah, no shit Deku isn’t getting much sleep, what with him having to fend off racist civilians and hired assassins every five fucking minutes. smdh. can he live??

chapter 312

so this is the chapter that properly introduces Lady Nagant, who maaaay or may not be one of the primary antagonists of this arc?? like, it’s really unclear right now tbh, but she gets hyped up by Hawks and AFO, and has a flashback and a mysterious past and a weird trump card (where did you go, Overhaul) and all that good shit, so yeah? one can hope at any rate.

but anyway. so to his credit, Deku’s first thought is to retreat, but he quickly abandons that plan once he figures out Nagant’s location. this is played off like a logical strategic decision at first, but the subsequent chapter quickly makes it clear that Deku’s decision to take the fight to Nagant is less rational than he might have you think.

chapter 313

so yeah. last but not least, the most recent chapter, in which Deku’s real reason for targeting Lady soon becomes apparent:

what’s more, it quickly becomes clear that he miscalculated and probably would have been better off following Hawks’s advice, seeing as he promptly gets himself shot, and subsequently realizes that AFO gave Nagant an extra quirk, something he hadn’t taken into account. but instead of cutting his losses and running at this point, he doubles down instead and not only breaks out Smokescreen, but also the Third’s quirk which he has never even used before.

it’s worth noting that both En and the Third start telling him to chill at this point, and warn him that what he’s attempting is too dangerous. but tbh if they were expecting him to listen, they haven’t been reading the same arc I’ve been reading. once again, Horikoshi makes it clear that Deku has one thing and one thing only on his mind right now.

of course. once again it all comes back to this. hunt down AFO. it doesn’t matter that he’s exhausted. it doesn’t matter that he’s just been shot twice. it doesn’t matter that Hawks, despite knowing what Deku was capable of with his OFA abilities, specifically warned him away from this one person only. it doesn’t matter that even the Vestiges are trying to tell him you’re going too fast and you’re trying to do too much and it’s too dangerous.

he just doesn’t care. long story short, the only thing that matters to Deku right now is tracking down and defeating TomurAFO. and as the person who knows him best once so aptly put it, “he doesn’t take himself into account.” and therein lies the major challenge of this arc.

and so this is where we’re currently at now. and this has been a very long post, but if nothing else, I hope I was able to get this one point across: there is absolutely no way that Deku will be able to defeat TomurAFO as he is now. not a chance in hell. somehow he’s managed the uncommon feat of waging a war of attrition against himself, which is really quite an accomplishment. he’s not taking care of himself, and he’s refusing to listen to sound advice from the people surrounding him, and is trying to skip ahead to the final boss battle before he’s ready, because the guilt and pressure from feeling responsible for the current situation are eating him up. the only way that the world can go back to normal is if he can defeat AFO; therefore he has to do it as soon as possible, because time is running out and everyone is counting on him. this is who Deku is. and this is what inevitably happens when his saving mentality is taken to extremes, and left unchecked.

anyway so to wrap up this post now, I do think this arc is a lot more cohesive than it’s gotten credit for thus far, and Deku is the glue holding it all together. I for one am loving the exploration of his character and all the subtle little angsty touches as we build up to the big moment, whenever it finally comes. just keep in mind though that if his decisions right now seem reckless and short-sighted, it’s because they’re supposed to seem that way, because Deku is not in a good mental state right now. the cracks are finally showing in our perfect protagonist, just like everyone has been wanting this whole time. he is just a kid. he is doing his best. he is trying far too hard to do his best, and it is hurting him so badly, but he doesn’t even realize. this arc is not an endorsement of the Angsty Nomad Hero lifestyle, lol. it’s the exact fucking opposite, and I think it’s being wildly misinterpreted with all of the emphasis on “oh look at that, he mastered another quirk with no effort”, as opposed to “oh look at that, he is shutting down emotionally and is a few more missed nights of sleep away from a complete and total breakdown.”

tl;dr the overarching storyline of this arc is all about Deku slowly falling apart due to his trauma from Jakku, and the subsequent pressure that was put on him by the Vestiges with their whole “GUESS WHAT, YOU’RE THE LAST USER OF OFA, THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S ALL ON YOU BUDDY” pep talk. and mark my words, things are not going to go according to plan. something is going to go terribly wrong here. whether it’s something happening to All Might, or AFO setting up a trap for him, either way Deku is being set up to fail in a major way. unless of course, someone (or a group of someones) manages to intervene first, and possibly stage an intervention or something. it’s what he needs right now, but idk if Horikoshi is going to make it that easy.

anyway, but in other words, the point of this arc is not to show how much stronger Deku has gotten and how he doesn’t even need his friends anymore. it’s the exact opposite -- the point of this arc is to show that Deku needs his friends now more than ever. that in spite of OFA and all of its mystical trappings and fancy SIXQUIRKS, Deku can’t do this alone. he needs his friends. that’s the core message. and right now, we are at the “I can get by on my own” part of the story. and the part we are all waiting for, but which is coming -- I guarantee it is coming, you guys -- is “the thing is, you don’t have to.”

and that shit is going to slap hard you guys. and I for one can’t wait. but until then, enjoy the angst.

[shera-dnd]

Maybe it's the yugioh from yesterday liquefying my brain, maybe it's the fact I stayed up until 2am talking about the trailer with friends in several servers, but now I think I have a theory about RWBY Ice Queendom

Note that this is a "wouldn't this be fun?" kind of theory and not a "this is definitely what's gonna happen!" kind of theory, so like I don't actually care if it doesn't happen

I will be very smug if it does tho

Okay so here we go: Volume 1 Weiss gets isekai'd into what she'd think is her perfect world, just to find that everything is fucked up, so she has to confront all the messed up shit inside her and defeat the evil in her heart

Now what the fuck am I basing any of this shit on? Three things! That one frame at the end of the trailer where there are two Weisses, the fact that this shit is called Ice Queendom, AND all the redesigns

Because this bit right here confirms that there are gonna be two fucking Weisses in this show (thank you Studio SHAFT for making my dream come true)

But most importantly

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE MAKES IT SUPER CLEAR THEY'RE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE! EMPEROR WEISS DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A SCAR!

So if my insane theory is right then this is like her perfect self. The serious badass leader who no one questions, the head of the SDC and now all of Atlas, and so perfect she never got her scar. Except this is like a monkey's paw situation, so she turned into a tyrant with an army of robots

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Because Weiss isn't the only one with a very telling redesign.

Volume 1 Weiss was a raging racist, so Blake in her perfect world is more animal like, straight up having cat claws and a tail

She held Pyrrha on a pedestal, so her perfect Pyrrha is this pure regal beauty WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE WEARING A RECOLOR OF WEISS'S MISTRAL ARC OUTFIT (Schneekos shippers are losing their minds over this and I love that for them)

Ruby and Yang are very basic actually. Ruby looks even more like a child who is not taking things seriously, to the point Crescent Rose is now a snowboard. And Yang is like... I don't know I think she manspread once in front of Weiss and so this version is wearing the gayest outfit Weiss could come up with

But what actually plays into the theory more is the fact that JNR barely didn't change, and more importantly Jaune changed least of all

He occupies so little space in her brain that this is all the change he got lol

So yes, I think Weiss (if not all of team RWBY) are gonna get isekai'd into Weiss's perfect Ice Queendom and Weiss is gonna have to confront some nasty shit about herself and defeat her evil side somehow

Or maybe smooch her evil side. I definitely wouldn't mind that ending either

[hewwocopter]

Irony

Monkey King was always awful at keeping secrets.

Posted on Ao3 as well! (1395 words)

MK caught Monkey King rubbing his left eye. He frowned at the sight of it; it had been itching a lot lately, by what Monkey King had said when MK first questioned him about it.

“It’s no big deal, bud. It’s just healing.”

Healing from what? His mentor had never explained what had caused him to return so late, covered in scratches and minor injuries nonetheless.

What concerned MK the most was that while the simain’s injuries were healing steadily, the nick above his left eye was not. The cut eyebrow refused to grow back, and the line began to form into the beginnings of… a scar.

Now Monkey King was constantly scratching at the eye, rubbing at it in every spare moment he was on the ship.

He wasn’t the only one who had noticed of course, MK had shared a glance with Tang after a particular instance that Monkey King was sweeping the deck of the ship (he was given the job as to not overexert himself, much to his dismay). He had paused and cursed under his breath, and upon the observant looks of Tang and MK, he remarked he had gotten some dust in his eyes.

Yeah, MK snorted in disbelief as the king turned away. For the fourteenth time that day. Tang didn’t look as though he had believed him either, but he chose not to comment. Monkey King was awful at keeping secrets, it would seem.

MK had decided he was finally going to get to the bottom of this, once and for all. By confronting his mentor about the problem at hand.

Before he could do that, however, Monkey King yelled and jumped away from his sweeping spot. The broom clattered to the floor, and in its place a puff of purple smoke erupted.

“It’s Macaque, everyone get back-“ Monkey King started, before he was cut off by snickering.

“Aww, Peaches. You ruined the surprise.” A blurry visage could be seen in the smoke, before Monkey King cleared it with a brush of his hand. “Come on. A little element of mystery never hurt anyone.”

MK couldn’t believe his eyes. Macaque was here on the ship! But how?

Macaque turned over to the boy, ignoring Monkey King. The others began to emerge from different parts of the ship from the noise.

“Uhhh who the heck is that?” Pigsy questioned. “You said Macaque? Who the heck is-“ He was cut off by Mei.

Mei’s priorities lay somewhere else. “Evil Monkey King?”

Tang and Sandy both remained silent, opting to observe the situation.

“Good to see you’re still alive, kid.” The shadow smirked.

“Excuse me.” Monkey King cleared his throat, making himself known. “I’m giving you five seconds to get the hell off this ship before I throw you off of it.”

Macaque finally faced Monkey King, looked him up and down, and guffawed. His lighter counterpart looked rightly offended at the disrespect that the other was showing and snarled.

“Oh, this is rich!” Macaque hugged himself and doubled over in laughter, while the others looked on in confusion. Monkey King only glared. “You seriously think you can take me on right now? Like that? Come on!”

While MK was still a little peeved at his mentor for leaving him on ‘vacation’, he wasn’t angry at him and therefore felt a right to defend him. “Hey! He can kick your a-“ A sharp look from Pigsy cut him right off. “euh- butt- any day of the week!”

Macaque wiped a tear off his face. “Doubt that, kiddo.” He straightened himself, addressing the crew. “Well, not right now at least. I’m surprised he still has enough power to hold up that glamour.”

Monkey King froze.

“What glamour?” Tang questioned.

MK slowly turned to face towards the monkey in question, who in turn slowly began to avoid his gaze.

“Uhhhh…”

Macaque decided to pour more salt onto the wound. “I guess it is sort of… eye-ronic. But also kind of a waste? I mean… you could be saving your powers for something more useful.”

Oh. Oh shit.

Sandy’s brows furrowed. “Monkey King, what is he talking about?”

“I don’t know, big guy.” Monkey King laughed nervously. “I don’t know if you’ve met this guy, probably not, but he’s a trickster. A liar. I wouldn’t trust him if I were you.”

“Oh ho ho, you wound me.” Macaque pretended to swoon, placing a paw over his heart. But his grin remained razor sharp. “Just like your eye. Who did that to you?”

MK’s heart dropped.

His suspicions were confirmed.

All eyes went on Wukong.

“You son of a bitch.” Monkey King growled out. “Nothing happened. Drop it.”

“Can you just give it up already?” Macaque sighed, shrugging. “We already know the jig is up. Gods, you were always horrible at keeping secrets.”

The king didn’t move, insisting on standing in place glaring at the other. The macaque stared back.

“Monkey King.” MK started, causing the older to startle and look over at him with wide eyes. “Please.”

They remained like that for a few moments, before the king finally relented. He sighed, air leaving him as well as a few wisps of magic.

MK knew what was coming, but he couldn’t hold back the gasp at what he saw. He wasn’t the only one either, as Mei dropped her phone and Sandy nearly lost his grip on Mo.

A milky white eye stared back at him. It wasn’t as intense as what Macaque’s had been by any means, but it still sent him reeling. It had healed mostly fine, with only a few blemishes in the skin here and there.

“I didn’t want you to see.”

“What?” MK found that the words tumbled out of him before he could stop them.

Monkey King’s gaze hardened. Even with that one eye out of commission, it held so much emotion. “You’d be discouraged. Right? The amazing Monkey King. Great Sage Equal to Heaven. Half blind. Partially deaf.”

MK’s eyes widened. “Wait, you’re-“

The monkey continued, wiggling his finger. “Can’t use my shapeshifting powers anymore. So, you know, that’s probably a good sign.” He heaved a heavy, self deprecating sigh. “You know when that started?”

Everyone was silent.

“After I gave you my powers.”

What.

Wait, then that would mean...

The simian cut that line of thinking off right away. “I want to tell you this now. This was never your fault, MK. I chose you as my successor for a reason.” Monkey King walked over to the boy and took a hold of the boy’s hand. “This was how it was meant to be.”

“What do you mean?!” MK sputtered out. “You mean that Lady Bone Demon-“

“Well, no! Not her, no! I was supposed to take on anything that you couldn’t handle, I was supposed to be at your side.”

“Holy shit.” Pigsy muttered. “It’s happening. Actual communication.”

Tang hushed him.

Macaque snorted.

Monkey King ignored the three. “But Spider Queen happened. Lady Bone Demon happened. It was a lot more than I thought you could handle, and while I was right, I should have never kept you in the dark about it. I know I’ve been a shitty mentor, but I’m learning as much as you are right now.”

MK nodded in agreement to his words. “So, are you going to teach me more?”

Monkey King smiled. “Of course, bud. Especially more of the fighting stuff. While we can’t really use our powers at the moment… there are other methods we can use.”

“So, like…” MK turned to Macaque, who smirked.

“That’s right, kid. You can never have too many teachers. Right?”

Monkey King started to reply, before Mei cut him off with an inquiry. “Yeah, so uh, who are you? Like a hot version of Monkey King?”

“A hot version of m- excuse me?!” Monkey King squawked in indignation. “I am too hot!”

“I’m not so sure about that Peaches…” Macaque drawled.

Monkey King whirled on the macaque. “You used to date me, so you definitely thought I was hot! So shut up!”

You what?!” MK screeched.

That was the breaking point for the crew. They all broke out in noise, all firing questions at the two.

“Look what you’ve done.” The simian groaned. “I should have thrown you off the ship when I first saw you.”

“Aww, you love me.”

[hobin-gnoblin]

OBEY ME! IN...

HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR

+18

"We can dance if we want to," Asmo hummed whist putting on falsies. "We can leave your friends behind, but if your friends don't dance and if they don't dance why then their no friends of mine." Solomon chimed in as they began to sway their hips in the mirror. Asmo turned his head to face Solomon. "Solomon darling, its so obvious we're going to be the best dressed couple for Devildom Halloween this year!" Asmo declared whist applying lipgloss. "Yeah, our Cher and Madonna costumes are gonna look great." Solomon said. "Remember Solomon, I'm dressed as Cher because my waist is absolutely snatched ok?" Asmo batted his eyelashes. "Sure, just dont drink milk tonight ok? We don't want a repeat of what happened last year." Solomon shuddered. (Asmo got drunk at The Fall last year and shit himself dressed as Regina George).

"Okay bitches, gather round, I got something freaky as fuck to show yall!" Mammon declared. His voice echoing throughout Devildoms Town Square. Mammon and Levi(forced) teamed up to create a freakshow for profit. The exploitation, Levi's feet. "Look at this, hims, she's, and they's, check out this grotesque sight!" Mammon jumped like a monkey pointing towards Levi's feet. Crowds gathered round gasping in horror as they found out that Levi's left foot has in fact 6 toes. "Oh my! Poor thing!" An elderly demon woman spared some of her pocket Grimm to Mammon. "Thank you ma'am, all profits go towards my darling brothers foot surgery." Mammon said. "Oh bless your heart." The elderly woman came and patted Levi on the knee. "I want to go home." Levi cried. "Ain't no rest for the wicked dear brother." Mammon cackled like a banshee counting racks.

"Ok Beel, we need to go ahead and grab the candy for trick or treaters." Belphie said carrying a large cauldron of candy. "I have to go grab some more bags, I'll be right back." Belphie ran back to the kitchen. Beel eyed the candy, a mischievous twinkle could be scene from his eyes. "I must consume." Beel thought as he grabbed the cauldron, lifted it towards his mouth and vored the candy. Belphie stopped in his tracks at the sight of his brother. "Classic Beel." He laughed. (Sitcom laughter follows suit). Belphie stopped laughing. "WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?"

"Arise you, buried deep in the shadows of Hell, ARISE!" Satan screamed as magic flew from his hands. A dark green mist covered the ground as the sound of scattered pattering came towards him. A choir of meows were heard throughout the backyard of the HoL. A black cat pawed at Satan's leg. He chuckled and picked up the cat in his arms.

*Satan turns to face you.*

"Hi, its Satan. This Halloween, be sure to keep a close eye on your cat, especially this little guy right here. There's a lot of crazy people out their that would harm them for no good reason in the slightest. Better yet, take care of all animals, their human, angel, and devil kinds best friends." Satan smiles at you and pets the little kitty. "His name is Cow."

"Ah, Halloween, the time of year in which Devildom is at its finest." Diavolo sighed in admiration looking towards Lucifer. "Ah yes, My Lord, its your birthday as well isn't it?" Lucifer chimed. Sipping a glass of sangria. "Yes indeed! In fact, I decided I wanted to join in on the festivities this year!" Barbatos?" Diavolo rang the butler bell. Barbatos walked in wearing a shipmates outfit. "Here are the outfits for this year's Pirates Booty Bash." Barbatos said, placing the outfits on the coffee table. "Thank you, you may get the music video equipment." Diavolo ushered him away. Lucifer rose his brow in concern. "Diavolo, what are you doing?" Lucifer rose from his seat backing away as Diavolo came closer. "It'll be quick and painless Lucifer." Diavolo cornered Lucifer. Lucifer muttered, "That's what she said."

Few drinks later.....

Boats and Hoes ft. Diavolo and Lucifer (Devildom Records Inc.)

*camera zooms in on a drunken Diavolo and Lucifer, dressed as pirates.*

Diavolo: "BOATS AND HOES BOATS AND HOES"

Lucifer: " WE SAILING ON THE SEVEN SEAS WITH BOATS AND HOES!"

DIAVOLO: "THE NINA, THE PINTA, THE SANTA MARIA!"

LUCIFER: "WE ALL GETTIN NASTY, DRINKING SANGRIA!"

Barb: "Boats and hoes, sailng with my bros, Got a little lassie screaming fo mo' She gets on her knees, screaming Barbatos please, she put it in her mouth sayin, OMGEEEEEEEEE"

ALL: BOATS AND HOES, BOATS AND HOES, HAPPY HALLOWEENIE FROM THE FANTASTIC THREEBIE

Happy Halloween '21

Be safe and don't do drugs. Unless you want the boogeyman to suck your toes.

[kraekat29]

{ THE DAY I ALMOST LOST YOU- JJ x Ruby }

part three of the mini series, read ’ The night we fell in love’ and ‘ The day we met’ first!

It was just after John B and Ruby’s 13th birthday, JJ’s was right around the corner. Ruby walked in between John B and JJ, the three of them pushing their bikes as they walked, the rain was starting to pick up, 

“ but yeah my dad got me a boat, cool right?” John B said and JJ hummed in agreement, “ yeah that's cool- shit!” JJ cursed as his necklace fell off and was swept into the storm drain.

 Knowing it was the only nice thing JJ had left, Ruby set her bike down and went over to the storm drain and crawled down in, 

“ Ruby!” John B scolded, “I'm fine!” Ruby called out and searched for the shark tooth. 

The two boys waited anxiously as it started to really poor down rain, “ You good?” JJ said, 

“ yeah! I found a yoyo!” Ruby said excitedly, she found the necklace and put it on for the time being but flinched as a crack of thunder sounded. 

A flood of panic went through her as water was rushing in faster, she tried to climb back up but the water rushed in and knocked her down,

 a shrill scream escaped her lips, “ Ruby!” JJ called out but she couldn’t answer, submerged under the water, 

JJ ran over the sidewalk and tried lifting the drain lid but he wasn’t strong enough, “ c’mon Rue!” he begged and looped his fingers through the hole on the lid, feeling some relief as her fingertips brushed against his.

 John B ran over and tried helping JJ lift the lid, “ it won’t budge!” John B shouted and JJ suddenly felt sick, 

“ JJ!” Ruby called out, screaming as the water knocked her down and submerged her once again. 

JJ hit the lid, punched and kicked at it, John B pawed at the lid, panicking as the drain was silent except from the sound of water, “ stay here” John B said and took off running.

**********************************************

JJ curled up in a ball and laid his head on top of the lid, no longer feeling her fingertips on his, he stopped caring if it was rain water or tears streaming down his face by now. 

He only sat up when John B came running over with Big John, JJ immediately moved out of the way as Big John lifted the lid and what he saw made him sick, Ruby was there, floating in the water and motionless. 

Big John reached down and pulled Ruby out, gently laying her on the sidewalk, he put his head close to her chest to listen for a heartbeat,

 John B grabbed her wrist and kept checking on her pulse as Big John started CPR.

 JJ on the other hand felt like he couldn’t breathe, he tugged at his hair and took a shaky breath, expecting the worst when Ruby coughed up water and sat up with a gasp, 

JJ didn’t hesitate to pull her into his arms, holding her against his chest and resting his chin on her head, “ jesus christ” John B murmured. 

JJ just kept rocking back and forth with Ruby in his arms, “ I got you.. I’ll never let anything happen to you again I promise..” he whispered and held her tighter.

***********************************************

That night at the chateau JJ took his pocket knife and carved Ruby’s initials into the back of the shark tooth and secured it around his neck, vowing to himself to never take it off. 

A soft knock sounded on Ruby’s door before JJ crept in and curled up next to her on the bed, she turned and curled against his side, laying her head on his chest. JJ stayed awake that night,

 He watched Ruby as she slept, occasionally checking her pulse and sighing in relief when it was still there.

 His love for her started that night although the blonde boy didn’t realize it, he’d dare even say he’s loved her since she fell off those monkey bars.

@wannabestarkeysgirl @maybankforlife

[ktheist]

muses. familiar!cat-shifter!yoongi x witch!reader

83.“My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk sometimes.”

x

“i thought witches don’t have friends.” yoongi scratches his arm, opening the fridge and checking out what little sustenance you have in it.

not much.

“and i thought familiars are supposed to indulge in their masters needs and wants,” hands on your hips you look at him with knitted brows and a pout.

but exactly five heartbeats later, you hear your phone buzzing and you’re hurrying to grab your bag, “i’ll be back!”

a second after the door closes shut, your head pops back in, the sulking pout now gone and in its place, the most brilliant smile and brightest twinkle in your eyes, “let’s have chicken for dinner! i left the money on the counter so you can order it and we can eat together.”

and then you’re gone.

min yoongi grumbles, eyes burning holes in the fifty dollar note lying on the white countertop.

‘did she think i’m broke or something?’

well, yoongi was quite literally homeless and living on tree branches in the deepest part of south korea’s reserves. but he was only living there because his last witch died from greed.

take over the world. become queen of every species on earth.

that sort of greed.

but you?

this 20-something year old pays - well, the humans like to call it tuition fee - to be a slave to an education that isn’t even beneficial to witches.

huh.

yoongi feels sorry for your bodiless ancestors who got burned at the stakes. if they had graves, they would be turning in them but they don’t because they took the risk to learn and practice witchcraft even if it was forbidden in their times.

now you’ve got all the reasons to learn - humans got so stupid that they stopped believing in anything besides logic - but you’re using him to predict what’s going to come out in your tests.

x

“ugh, my tailbone’s about to liquidize from having to sit in that exam hall for five freaking hours.” mina grumbles, stretching her arms over her head.

“okay, but why the fuck do we have to write a 10 page essay on why plato think our end goal is happiness?” soyeon’s scrunches her nose, as if physically cringing at the remembrance of it.

“isn’t that like, a statement? weren’t we supposed to talk about rousseau?” nayeon’s brows knit together in utter confusion.

“shit.” you’d expect soyeon to be cursing but it’s mina.

after a series of mina freaking out and the rest of you trying to calm her down by saying whatever possible answer they discussed could very well be wrong because nobody recalled hearing the professor mention who this rousseau scholar-guy.

except you.

and it wasn’t the professor who mentioned it.

it was the grumpy shapeshifting cat you’ve taken in who also happens to have futuristic premonitions.

almost as if they could hear your thoughts, soyeon turns to you, “we should’ve trusted ___’s instincts.”

technically, you were doing some reading on rousseau’s natural law theory when the girls sneaked up on you and scared your literal soul out of your body. they were surprised that you were even studying so you passingly mentioned having a strong, unquestionable feeling that he’s going to make an appearance in finals.

“you girls should’ve listened to me,” you cheekily proclaim, hands on your hips and chin tilted so high up, you can almost see the sun.

“oh great finals goddess, please tell us what you think will come out for criminal procedures,” mina gets on her knees without a care in the world and starts praying for you.

it wasn’t hard to stroke your ego and your friends know that better than anyone. so you tell them what they want to know on a pretense of ‘just predictions! don’t put all your eggs in one basket. i might be wrong!’

“yoongi, i’m home,” you singsong, swinging the door open only to have your shoulders sag at the lack of a certain black haired grump who would usually be sleeping on the couch and grumble for you to ‘shut up, i’m taking a nap.’

“huh, he’s not here.” you kick off your shoes and pad over to your room only to have your heart flutter at the sight of a cat snugly curled up in your bed.

“yoongi!” you squeal, dropping your bag and books on the floor before bounding over to the bed and gathering the slumbering feline in your arms.

the cat’s golden slits seem to appear on guard until they soften at the sight of you. he yawns widely as he stretches in your arms.

“i’m home, yoongi.” this time, your voice is barely above whisper, hand scratching his furry body as you lay on your bed, staring at the ceiling.

“you were right about rousseau and now my friends think i have some sixth sense,” you prattle on while the weight on your chest starts curling himself up - you have no strand of doubt that if you just looked down, the black feline will be snoring away as if he doesn’t have a single ounce of care for your story-telling.

not that yoongi’s ever showed an interest in your life besides the magic that you happen to bottle up and exploded the day he was walking around in seoul out of boredom.

you’re not sure when you fell asleep, but you wake up to the sound of ‘here’s your chicken’ and a ‘thanks’ before the door clicks shut.

“was that the chicken?” groggy but hungry, you march over the kitchen where yoongi - now in his human form - is taking out the boxes with your favorite swicy chicken restaurant symbol from the plastic bag.

“with the way you were snoring, i didn’t think i should order dinner at all,” he says nonchalantly.

“i-i don’t snore!” you almost scream, cheeks heating up.

“uh-huh,” there it is again, the nonchalant tone that almost drives you up the wall. then he turns to face you, index finger tapping the corner of his mouth, “you’ve got some drool there.”

almost as if possessed by a chaotic spirit, you trudge to the bathroom, slamming the door behind you in your haste. your reflection stares back at you with bed hair pointing everywhere and alarmed, round eyes as you wipe the corner of your mouth with the back of your hand only to notice nothing there. you repeat the motion once again and true enough, not a smidge of drool is present.

“that lying-!” you huff, marching back to the kitchen with one objective in mind.

“lying isn’t very nice, yoongi,” you say, barely putting a lid on the boiling anger.

“being too trustful isn’t very witch-like either.” he counters, a swicy chicken in hand and bright red sauce in the corner of his mouth.

“i curse you into a monkey!” you scream, index finger pointed in his direction.

but instead of the black haired familiar morphing and turning into the animal you cursed him into, he continues eating without even batting an eye.

“what- but-” you look at your hand and then back at him, “i cursed you!”

“you can’t curse your own familiar.” he finally says halfway into your quarter-ish life crisis, “now sit down and eat before your stomach starts grumbling too.”

you huff in bashful frustration. face too hot to even look at yoongi in eye but you’re too hungry to throw another fit.

believe it or not, this is just one of your routine in your daily life - him teasing you, completely nonchalantly and you getting worked up over it and end up making a fool out of yourself.

in a few hours, you’ll end up forgetting it ever happens and end up cuddling the cat that’s curled up on your pillow. you’ve just finished revising another topic of your next exam.

the next time you wake up, it’s to grown sized male snuggling into your chest, his arm slung over your back and your leg wedged between his. there’s not so much as a hair’s breadth between you.

“y-yoongi,” you stammer out, unable to think properly.

but when the aforementioned man simply groans and nuzzles his face in between your boobs, your cheeks hit up and your hand ends up swinging in the air before it hits its target.

his cheek.

now he sports a red handprint on his porcelain skin as he goes around, making coffee for himself while you diligently study at your desk. it’s some time in the afternoon that a furry ball leaps into your lap and kneads your thighs with his little paws before curling into a ball.

“aren’t you so cute?” your heart flutters at the adorable little fur ball, hand scratching the underside of his neck and giggling at how he’s purring in appreciation.

you end up dropping your apple pencil and shutting off your ipad. carrying the clingy furball in your arms, you plop down your bed.

“ugh, my back feels like it’s gonna crumble off like biscuit crumbs,” you lament, not caring if the sentence makes no sense.

but before you can think of any other sentence that makes no absolute sense, you feel the weight on your stomach shift, the furball you were caressing now turning into a lump of skull with actual human hair as it holds itself up and places its forehead on yours.

“how is it that you willingly take me to bed when i’m a cat and slap me in the face like i’m some pervert when i’m my human form?” this time, you know he’s teasing you because he’s smirking like he’s amused.

“it’s different because you were a cat!” you thank merlin that your voice comes out strong and certain.

“i’m still me no matter what form i take though,” his hand is warm on your thigh. his breath fans your skin, “still a man.”

“it’s different,” you know you sound meek compared to when you started out.

but your face is hot and your heart is palpitating inside your chest. all of a sudden you feel too shy to even look at him. so you cast your gaze to the side. relief floods your system when he lifts his head from yours. but it’s short-lived. teeth bite on the delicate skin of your neck. not enough to hurt but enough to incite a surprised yelp from you.

and a swing of your hand.

that’s how yoongi ends up with another red handprint on his other cheek. the first one is barely disappearing.

and you, with a hickey on your neck that you don’t know what to explain to your friends tomorrow when you meet them for the exam.

but one good thing comes out of it. after the slap, a rope materializes and wraps itself around yoongi. it’s pure magic and not even he can undo it.

“stop teasing me,” you start, sitting on the chair with your legs crossed.

“start treating me like i’m a man even in my cat form and i’ll consider that,” he counters.

at that, you lift an eyebrow, all of a sudden feeling a rush of confidence, “start acting like a man in your human form then.”

that’s when yoongi looks at you like you’ve challenged his essence. his existence.

“untie me and i’ll show you what a man is, master,” he challenges back.

it’s the word ‘master’ that gets your stomach fluttering with butterflies.

“you have two heads but you’re using the useless one to interpret what ‘a man’ means?” eyebrows rising to the ceiling, you pretend to be surprised.

“you’re a witch but you don’t even know how to use a spell,” he shrugs, reverted to his nonchalant self.

and that’s what irks you the most. how he acts like it has nothing to do with him but rubs your lacking in your face.

“lay down.” you order and his body is sent flying backwards, barely missing the wall in his abrupt descent.

yoongi groans, gathering himself once again.

“see, i know you can’t go against my words,” you say, triumphant.

“how did you find out?” he strains his neck, trying to look at you now that he’s laying down.

“the way you always did what i asked and last night, you ordered the chicken anyway even though i was sleeping and i could’ve slept through the entire night.” those were suspicions - you only confirmed it when you gave him the direct order.

“fine, you win,” he announces, barely caring about the argument.

“good.” you nod, mentally willing the rope to untie itself. but nothing happens.

you try again.

and again.

and again.

“can i please be released?” yoongi finally says after one too many mental tries.

“uh, wait,” you push yourself off the chair and tread over to manually undo the knot that keeps the rope tightly wrapped around yoongi.

“you can’t do it with magic?” comes the million dollar question.

you sigh, dejected, “i think i need to be angry - or feel strongly about something to get my magic to work.”

that’s what happened when yoongi met you. overstressed and barely focusing on your surroundings, you ended up getting run over someone who was on a bike. everything just kept going wrong. you ended up bawling your eyes out on the sidewalk - the man who ran over you started panicking thinking he broke a bone.

“i’m cool now though.” you shrug, easily dismissing the dejection and whatever that upset you before.

the rope comes undone and yoongi shimmies himself out. but before you can do anything, his hand shoots out, wrapping around your wrist and pulling you down until your knee digs into the mattress in between his legs, your faces too close. if he’d just tilt his head, his lips would easily brush yours.

“yoongi,” you warn but he shushes you.

“try getting the rope to move with magic,” he instructs, voice uncharacteristically soft and soothing.

you take a deep breath, eyes trained on the rope lying around him whilst trying to ignore the millimeter distance between your faces.

you move your index finger and the rope lifts itself up. you motion to the left with your finger and the rope gradually slithers through the air in the direction you’re pointing.

“it’s working,” you almost squeal, beaming.

and in your excitement, you seek yoongi’s gaze, only to see the rope crashing against the ground in your periphery.

“good,” a smile plays on his lips.

all of a sudden, you’re out of breath, the perpetrator also being the cause of the rush of blood to your face.

thanks.

the words doesn’t really get passed your lips because his feel feather-light but his fingertips on your cheek is calloused but grounding. that’s how you know this isn’t just some dream.

then he pulls all of you down. the sudden shift of motion illicit a gasp out of you. but the shock stricken state is short lived. you find yourself breathing in his musky woody scent.

he leans down, kissing the delicate spot on your neck that makes your heart wretch inside your chest.

“yoongi, maybe we should take it slow and practice some other time?” you suggest and he chuckles, the sound ringing in your ear like a blissful melody.

“i’m not doing this for a practice run,” he confesses ever so casually, “i took on the form of a cat because you told me about the one you have back home. but you got too familiar with it that you forgot about me.”

he licks your flesh like a cat would. it’s supposed to be an innocent, cat-like gesture but something about the way his male body is hovering over you makes the fibers in your system go on panic mode. you wish the bed would open up and swallow you whole but you’re not powerful enough for that.

yet.

“i’m upset,” he sulkily says and sinks his teeth into your skin.

x

the fading redness on his left cheek where you first slap him is rosier than ever after your third slap landing on that one.

“when are you gonna let me go?” his voice echoes in the silence.

you turn around to see the man sitting cross-legged on your bed with his hands on his sides, the rope tightly wrapped around him. after he bit you, the rope ended shooting up and around him, as if it had a mind of its own and sought to protect you by disabling your neck-biting familiar.

oh, you sport similar hickey on the other side of your neck now too.

“hmm,” you tilt your head in contemplation, “after my last exam?”

“that’s like, in a week,” he grunts, “how am i gonna bathe? and eat?”

“you have two heads, yoongi. figure it out.” you shrug and turn back to your books and ipad.

x

note. this was requested by an anonymous as part of my drabble game.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

No one should be on the No-Fly List. There should not be a No-Fly List.

It's been a minute, and the past four years really raised the bar on presidential evil, but here's a thing you should remeber: George W Bush was a fucking terrible president and everything he did was terrible.

The War on Terror - the latest addition to America's pantheon of Forever Wars - leveraged a national trauma to strip away human rights and incinerate official accountability.

Though this was described as a tool for punishing "terrorists," the toolkit it handed to every law enforcement officer, from G-Men to school cops, was given a real workout.

The war on terror turned everyone with a badge into a puny martinet, able to violate the rights of marginalized and disfavored people without fear of any consequences, reversing decades of hard-won progress on civil and human rights.

The punishment the war on terror has meted out to women, LGBTQ+ people, BIPOC people, political progressives, racialized people, Black people, Muslim people, and anyone who looked crosseyed at a mall cop is limitless and endless.

GWB did some really awful shit, like creating offshore torture sites (not just Gitmo, a web of them, around the world), and starting a bogus war that has raged so long that there are adults fighting it today who weren't born when it began.

In the grand scheme of things, the No-Fly List isn't even in the top ten of garbage things for which we should forever curse GWB but it is still an utter piece of shit, an idiotic policy enforced by idiots to no good purpose at the cost of enormous human suffering.

The Identity Project, and its Papers, Please! website, have been documenting the No-Fly List's incoherent cruelty since its inception. Today, they posted an extensive article explaining how the list (really many lists) works.

https://papersplease.org/wp/2021/01/19/put-them-on-the-no-fly-list/

There's this thing that happens when you study corruption: you start with this complex, difficult system, and someone who understands it begins to explain it, and as they hold up each piece and say what it does and what it's called, you have a revelation:

Ohhhh, it's just bullshit.

I mean, go read up on how mortgage-backed securities work, or pharmacy benefits managers, or special purpose acquisition compaies, or cash bail. Really lean into it, pay attention. You'll get there.

The reason it doesn't make sense to lay people isn't that it's complicated. It doesn't make sense because it's fucking nonsense. The complexity is there to delay this realization.

That's the no-fly list. It's bullshit.

The Qanon-addled white-nationalist cult members who stormed the capitol last week shouldn't be on the no-fly list because there shouldn't be a no-fly list.

And if that's not good enough for you, try this one on: they shouldn't be on the no-fly list because if we lower the already rock-bottom standards for inclusion on that list, they're coming for the people you love next.

G-men and campus cops and TSA gropeaholics and thrice bailed out aviation monopolists and small town cops flush with civil forfeiture cash won't hesitate for an instant before putting the Wall of Moms and your whole middle school gay-straight alliance on the list.

Forever.

If there's one thing we should all have learned from the four year nightmare we've just barely survived, it's that being stampeded into taking away rights from people you don't like is an utter monkey's paw, and when the fingers curl, they're coming for you.

We need to do something about the violent, deranged cult that spent the summer showing up in battle-rattle to terrorize state lawmakers, culminating in the Jan 6 riot. We need a COUP Act to investigate the links between cops and Nazis.

https://twitter.com/actdottv/status/1351291227530924032

But what we positively do not need is to expand the power of the institutions that we have good reason to suspect are shot through with unhinged white nationalists so they have even more control over who can exercise the basic human right of going from one place to another.

Always remember: the No-Fly List is composed of people we're sure are too dangerous to be allowed on a plane - but who, inexplicably, we don't have enough evidence against to convict of any crime. In other words, it's an evidence-free witch-ducking stool in the cloud(s).