#some lore fuckery later and they end up like this

[fidgetspringer-art]

Olath - Aberrant familiar

[slowlysoluminary]

after that wack-tastic piece of media i figured we could all!! use a break!!!!!!! so!!!!!!

(more) doodles below the cut. and some commentary! Hurray!

^^ Post game is interesting. Most of the timeloop is about figuring the deal with the memories, some of it is about sif comng to terms with the king, and the very very end of it is about everyone regaining their memories.

so i say it again post game is REALLY interesting!!! because everyone, collectively, is trying to balance their old memories and their new memories. everyone except siffrin. who is not 1:1 old siffrin but is the closest to it, considering how much loop's been through.

loop??? becomes corporeal at some point in the end.

it's very bittersweet! i think! the whole of the party does an "i want to remember!!!" sequence, fighting with their own minds to fill the gaping holes they'd always ignored.

-- loop, after realizing the extent to which they're familiar with the party, had tried desperately to get the party to remember them throughout the loops. in hopes that something would change. they never remembered.

at the same time, siffrin is talking to the king - they're fighting with eachother physically and verbally, desperately trying to get the other understand. resetfrin is not the siffrin the king hated so earnestly, not the siffrin he tried to snuff out.

over the course of many conversations with the king, siffrin caught on. the king is the major lore dump here and is who causes most of the narrative development because i say so !!!!!!!!!!!!

actually. about post game. do you know why their designs are like that

resetfrin hated the lack of autonomy he had over their own body so they decided to. cut their hair. it's a bit curlier now that there's not a lot weighing it down

they decided not to keep the star stuff the king gave them. yada yada character development or whatever.

they gave their cloak to loop!! who is. siffrin again. physically at least. both siffrins are siffrin but with clear differences! like hair length and hair texture! and ohhhhhhhh no what do you mean the universe gave them the wrong body?? what?????? how cruel!!! how blasphemous!!!!!!!

loop hated the idea of keeping her hair darkless (mirror pronouns for loop btw!!! remember that!!!). it reminded them of what it was like to be ghostloop. which they hated!!! but they couldn't have their hair be lightless because that was resetfrin's new thing, so... they just. kept dying the bottom parts of it lightless. it's a compromise

how does the party distinguish the two siffrins, name-wise? uhhhhhh. ask me that question later. idk.

if.... if i have pre-game planned out. and post-game planned out.

then the inly thing I don't have planned out is the ACTUAL time loop bit

it's quite daunting because? that's like the entire point of the original game? it feels like i hve to live up to so much and like fhe loops have to have such a packed, coherent story

though, to be fair, most of what I'm writing will just be. the time loop bit. so i guess I'm figuring it out as i go

anyway, actually talking about the two sketches above, ghostloop is for SIFFRIN'S EYES ONLY!!! she can hit things but things can't hit her and all that.

after figuring out, through past loops, that the King can't see them, they realized siffrin was their only connection to the physical world. The Last Piece Left of them, physically and metaphorically. the whole time they longed for something else to acknowledge their existence. acknowledge theyre real

they also realize they can do Fuckery

the king has a Sixth Sense for loop's Fuckery,,, flipping him The Bird resulted in a rather quick death for Siffrin. whoops!!!!!

this au is. more closely revolved around gloop than i thought. don't worry!! i have a lot of gloop content planned! but. but you need to understand the pain of resetfrin and the king. the misery snd desperation fhe king felt about his country. siffrin pleading with the king, countlessly, hoping to see some SEMBLANCE of the man he once knew. you need to know the missing pieces the party finds, a hollow feeling settling itself around their hearts. you need to know so bad.

so you'll get gloop content! i am a big fan of the little guy myself, really. but !!! this au is not ONLY about them, believe it or not! hehe. haha. giggles. ok ill stop

[missrosiewolf]

Sooo I know you've been stewing about Sehanine :}c Since they're both moon gods, do you think that Sehanine could/had any sort of influence on her I guess niece Eilistraee?

haaaaaaaaaaa....I have a lot of thoughts about Sehanine and not a single one of them is positive. A rant is brewing and I have yet to decide if I want to scream about the fuckery that is Sehanine vs Araushnee/Lolth over Corellon (edit: I wanted to clarify that I do not hold Sehanine as the sole party to blame for that particular mess. All parties involved hold some kind of responsibility for it. Ultimately, however, I think the person with the most blame in that situation is Corellon) or how sus Sehanine was looking in Evermeet: Island of Elves.

You know...it's funny. One particular bit of 4e is like "And they’re sister goddesses" @ Sehanine and Lolth, but every other lore I find is like "Sehanine (or Angharradhin 3e/3.5e) is Corellon's main consort" so I guess technically Eilistraee is both her niece and her stepdaughter.

In regards to the rest of your ask: Do I think that Sehanine had or could have had influence on Eilistraee? Oooooh that's a toughie. I think Sehanine did have some kind of influence — not a lot but some — because at some point in the Dancer's youth, likely long before the whole Lolth-wants-to-murder-Corellon thing happened, "Sehanine had showed her how to travel the gossamer strands of its magic with no more than a thought." (its magic being moonlight). So maybe this is just a headcanon that has some support in canon, but I like to think Sehanine took on a mentor role for Eilistraee while the latter was a young goddess still figuring out what her portfolio would be and I think that mentor-mentee relationship is why Eilistraee later ends up taking on moonlight as part of her portfolio.

So yeah. I think Sehanine might have had some influence on Eilistraee wrt to the other's godly portfolio but I think that's about the extent of it. Because, and here's the thing, their relationship became strained and distant. Eilistraee's relationship with the Seldarine as a whole is strained. She calls them allies and yet they don't really do anything to help her in her mission. Not even through indirect aid. It's pretty much "You're on your fucking own, kid" on the Seldarine's end. Like, do the Seldarine only give a shit about drow when they've 'repented' or whatever?

She is a one-god army fighting to save her people from the evils of her mother and I'd like to say she's now a two-god army post-Second Sundering but MTOF fucked with Vhaeraun and made him out to be subservient to Lolth (fuck Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes. The only thing I really liked about that book was the Blessing of Corellon).

Why do I always get sidetracked and go off on tangents...

ANYWAY! Like I said, I think Sehanine's influence was mostly in relation to her as a teacher for Eilistraee during Eilistraee's godling years. Outside of that, I think the only one who has/had any actual influence on Eilistraee at this point is Erevan Ilsere and I say that because the rest of the Seldarine's she polite towards, him though? They're actually close. They have, at least to me, what looks to be a genuine friendship.

[agirlnamednix]

Uh-oh! Nix is retconning her OC lore again!

One sentence:

ZENOS IS THE BEASTLY HALF OF ARTEMIS

This is going to be just my hour-after-waking off-the-cuff rambling. I'll refine it later when I have spoons for that. >:D

LONG POST WARNING

So the deal with my WolOC is that they're actually two people who share a soul. Artemis is the huntress, does her own thing, works to capture escaped creations from Pandemonium. Apollo is Azem, the one everyone knows, the hero who succeeded Venat in the Convocation.

My ORIGINAL head canon was that Mjrd, Mjrn/Maja, and Ardbert were all weird mixtures of Artemis and Apollo. Eventually, Mjrd becomes Kariudo, the dark reflection of Artemis. Whereas Maja becomes Taiyo, the embodiment of Apollo.

But with Artemis being the huntress...and Zenos being all about the hunt...and Zenos seeing SO MUCH OF HIMSELF in the Warrior of Light...

What if Zenos is literally the other half of Artemis that Kari doesn't have?

What if Artemis DIDN'T get sundered properly? What if her soul remained entirely on the Source? What if Athena had done some fuckery with her, knowing that she was "a singularly resolute soul"?

WHAT IF LAHABREA WAS IN POSSESSION OF ARTEMIS'S SOUL THE ENTIRE TIME AND DIDN'T KNOW IT?

He would've eventually given it to Emet-Selch, right? "You'd make better use of this than I." And then Emet-Selch would've been like "Well, I don't need an entire soul, so I'll just cleave it in half and make a baby with it." He's known to do shit like that (re: Vauthry) and we know that Zenos was particularly juiced so like...what if he fucked around with his grandson's soul? What if he implanted half of Artemis into Zenos, likely not even knowing who she was? And before all of that, he'd already discarded the rest, having prepared for a soul to be stronger after the Seventh Umbral Calamity. So he cleaved Artemis in two, dumped one half into the Aetherial Sea, then held onto the other half. When Zenos was born, he shoved the half he still had into him before he was born, creating a soul-roided baby.

But unbeknownst to him, the other half of Artemis didn't dissipate like a normal soul. It immediately did what Artemis has always done: its own thing. And so about 50 years ago, Mjrd was born the bearer of the other half of Artemis's soul.

This removes a LOT of confusion regarding Artemis and Apollo. During the Seventh Rejoining, Kari would've gained a shard of Artemis, bringing her up to 8 of 14 on soul fragments. However, when she rejoined with Ardbert in Shadowbringers (putting her at 9 of 14 soulshards, Ardbert's being from Apollo) and then met Maja between Shadowbringers and Endwalker (Maja bearing 7 of 14 shards of Apollo), she passed on her extra soul shard to Maja, bringing them both to 8 of 14 soul shards of Artemis and Apollo respectively.

And so, moving into Endwalker, they worked together to prevent a new Final Days. But Maja (now going by Taiyo or just Tai) took center stage, being the one whom Elidibus remembered from Elpis, the one who went back in time without Kari, the one who set EVERYTHING IN MOTION. However, Kari is the one who kept fighting with Zenos, the one whose body he stole...and the reason he ended up traveling to Ultima Thule to fight alongside her and Tai. In my mind, Tai is the one who calls upon Azem's power, with Kari only being capable of that on The First because she's close enough to Azem's soul, while also carrying a piece of Apollo with her in the form of Ardbert.

"Light The Way" was for both Tai and Kari, with Taiyo being the one to protect them both. And then it was Kariudo who struck the killing blow.

However, after the battle...Zenos calls Kari out. And she's finally had enough of this dude. She knocks Tai unconscious and duels with Zenos. After all is said and done, Zenos lies still and Kari is barely hanging on. The teleporter remote thing lands next to Kari and she has just enough energy to knock it toward Taiyo. He teleports away, leaving Zenos and Kariudo, the entirety of Artemis's soul, stranded at the very bleeding edge of reality itself.

Maybe Artemis does her own thing and heads back. Maybe the two of them dying with no other aether around them but Artemis's soul causes her to reform into her pre-Sundering self. Maybe she just finally allows her aether to disperse into the universe.

It's utterly unknown.

And I ADORE the idea that I have that tiny sprig hanging off a clean cut stem...and have absolutely no reason to ever pursue it further. Having Kari's fate be completely ambiguous from the perspective of the other characters is just...OUGH IT'S TASTY. I LOVE that. The idea that Tai's last memory of his other half is turning around to get a fistful of fives. And then...he has no idea what happened to her. At all. Nobody does. Tai came back. Kari didn't.

And honestly? It doesn't need to be anything more. :D

[glassmarcus]

Not Another Triforce of the Gods

*Played in May 2023, Written in December 2023

Look, The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom is a big ass game. I spent an irresponsible amount of time on it. So it's just not in the cards for me to write about it to the extent I write about other stuff. There's too much to dissect, especially since it’s so attached to the preceding title, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, which is also a gargantuan beast of a game. Yes, the Ultra Hand mechanic is insane and makes this the best Lego game ever made. Yes, that Master Sword Cutscene is the most gilded cutscene in the franchise. Yea dungeons aren't boring and have unique flavors again. Yes, the Fuse ability makes the economy of this game functional...for most of the game. There's a lot about it that I want to touch upon, the main thing I feel the need to dwell on is the fact this is also just A Link to the Past again.

Hear me out. I know it's a bit played out to compare other Zelda games to The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past at this point. I've witnessed many claims that The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is essentially A Link to the Past with a 3rd dimension. Hell, The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds was explicitly link to the past 2, as its Japanese title is just Triforce of the Gods 2 (Triforce of the Gods is the Japanese title of Link to the Past (Now the title of this write up makes a bit more sense huh?)). There are elements of Link to the Past which are strongly dispersed throughout the whole franchise. It’s sort of the default Zelda that all games from it until Breath of the Wild were built upon, so games having similarities makes sense. But there is a structural, mechanical, and narrative root to it that some Zelda games have more than others. And I think Tears of the Kingdom leans a bit harder towards Link to the Past than most. If Breath of the Wild was a modern take on the original Zelda, then it would be an interesting case study to view Tears of the Kingdom as a modern take on A Link to the Past. It makes sense that would be the next thing Nintendo would do if we ignore the existence of Zelda 2 like they usually do. I wanna find out if this hypothesis holds any water, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

The first thing that stood out to me as Triforce of the Gods vibes was the story. Not in terms of structure and themes, that came later. The primary moment of being reminded of Link to the Past was referencing the same lore as that game. When Zelda said the term "Imprisoning War" I lost my goddamned mind. My atrophied Zelda Lore Muscles finally got a work out for the first time in a decade. Breath of the Wild took place so far in the future that none of the Zelda timeline nonsense I dedicated myself to understanding mattered. It was a huge bummer. While I get the team doesn't want to be constrained by the world building of past games, I prefer franchises that have consistent world building between games so that concepts can be fleshed out further.

Now if there was never any attempt at this in the first place I wouldn't yearn for it. But Nintendo themselves are insistent on making their games connect and it honestly led to them applying some cool time theory concepts because of it. Seeing the consequences of Ocarina of Time lead to 3 timelines that all vary dramatically is one of the most interesting things about the franchise. So to see them basically throw it all away in Breath of the Wild was a huge coward move. Just make it a separate canon. As much as I hate Castlevania: Lords of Shadows, I can’t help but appreciate how it doesn't mess with the lore of the Castlevania games I do like by being in its own canon. Having everything converge at the end made the timeline fuckery in Ocarina of Time feel less meaningful. It all built towards nothing and it was the most xeric move they could have made.

Tears of the Kingdom acknowledging the Imprisoning War, also known as the events of Ocarina of Time, made me loregasm even harder than Zelda did in that opening cutscene. Neurons started firing as I drew conclusions about which timeline it canonically took place in, how it connected with events in The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, whether or not this was adding context to previous titles. And then I found out that there is no possible way the Imprisoning War mentioned in A Link to the Past is the same one here. There were too many inconsistencies and before I knew it, my once rock hard lore boner soon became as flaccid as a korok leaf.

Ocarina of Time is about finding a group of sages who will aid you in defeating and sealing away the Demon King. Link to the Past is about finding the descendants of those sages who will aid you in defeating and sealing away the Demon King. Link between Worlds is about finding the descendants of those sages who will aid you in defeating and sealing away the Demon King. Tears of the Kingdom is yet again about finding a group of sage descendants who will aid you in defeating and sealing away the Demon King. Though to be fair, this time it’s more about awakening the descendants than it is finding them. These games all share a basic narrative thrust. The difference with Tears of the Kingdom is that it’s not a derivation of past events, but an entire reinterpretation. You learn about both the past incarnations of the sages along with the current ones. The story of the past is fleshed out as you proceed through the main quest until it all becomes clear that this isn't connected to Ocarina of Time or Skyward Sword at all really.

I have no huge issue with the story itself in Tears of the Kingdom or its similarities to A Link to the Past. Well I am annoyed how the end of each dungeon gives you identical cutscenes, but I digress. I only take offense with the terminology this game decides to use. Why call it the Imprisoning War again? If it's a different thing, call it a different thing. I get that the story is cyclical in nature, but it’s hack writing that a similar event happened and they called it the EXACT SAME NAME by complete coincidence. I'm also kind of ticked off that the reincarnation of Ganondorf is called Ganondorf again and has a completely congruent background. Zelda is named Zelda because of tradition and this is first link that’s canonically called link. Why the hell is Ganondorf still Ganondorf though? I feel that no matter what timeline you follow the name ‘Ganondorf’ has to have lost a bit of popularity. They pulled the same crap with Twinrova in the Oracle games and it was stupid there too. But I guess I can understand from a marketing stand point why they had to do that. But the Imprisoning War was made solely to bait suckers like me to latch on to an idea that was too on the nose and hallow. Just reboot it. If they aren't gonna attempt to actually link to the past in ways that aren't shallow, I see no value in stapling this duology to the end of the series.

But those are only my inane thoughts on how this game has a similar story to A link to the Past in a very hackneyed way. The similarities with Link to the Past which exude substance lies within the world design.

If I were to zero in on the most defining aspect of A Link to the Past that hasn't become a mandatory linchpin of the traditional Zelda formula, I would have to go with The Dark World. The Dark World acted as this messed up reflection of the Hyrule you knew. You spent the first act of the game exploring a colorful world that had its problems for sure. but was for the most part pleasant. Then you travel to the Dark World which is a corrupted reflection of everything you knew. Colors are darker, the geography is shifted, enemies are meaner. It creates an oppressive atmosphere and feels oppressive because you know what it should look like.

Ocarina of Time followed suit, but with a dark future instead of a dark world. In that game you travel to a future where Ganondorf has taken over and everything has been colossally fucked. It's not an alternate world as much as it's a glimpse into what your world will be if you don’t save the day. Characters age up from the period seven years prior, but they have fallen on hard times and it's up to you to make sure they don't get this bad ending. The future functionally acts as a Dark World where you swap between time periods similar to how you swap between realms. You're only required to return to the past a couple of time though after you reach Act 2, while you return to the light world quite a bit more on Link to the Past. But honestly neither game uses the interaction between worlds that much mechanically.

The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages doesn't have much in common with these two games in terms of plot and structure, but it does have the two similar worlds concept and attempts to utilize it to its fullest potential this time around. Time Travel is an event that only necessarily occurs only a few times in Ocarina of Time; Time Travel is something you are constantly doing in Oracle of Ages. It's an ability you have from the beginning and almost every overworld puzzle involves switching between two time periods. It's complex and pushes the idea in a way Link to the Past couldn’t have dreamed of. But while this made for a cleverer use of having two worlds, it loses a lot by taking this approach. For one, it's annoying to use because the animation for playing the Harp of Ages takes waaay to long and you use this item A LOT. But most importantly, you never get attached to a certain time period so the contrast between the two feels dulled and unmemorable. Because there is no familiarity, the two worlds meld together into one big puzzle.

A Link Between Worlds, as per usual with this game, is the compromise between ideals. It's structurally the same as A Link to the Past, so you get the opportunity to become familiar with your home world of Hyrule. When entering the second act of the game and you gain access to the parallel world in which the kingdom of Lorule resides, the contrast between the two is powerful. It's mechanically more inline with Oracle of Ages though, with traversing between worlds having heavier emphasis. It doesn't go over board like Ages, as Hyrule is perfectly traversable without dimension hopping. It's only Lorule that requires this ability to explore. Lorule is not a sustainable healthy environment as its landscape is completely fractured and falling apart. In order for it to be a functioning map, it needs Hyrule’s help and the whole plot is kind of about that and it's a bit peak. Lorule has been my favorite take on the two worlds concept...Until possibly now.

Tears of the Kingdom has multiple worlds. This is no secret. It was marketed as having a traversable sky biome above Hyrule and it implied the game would focus on navigating between both land and sky. Kinda like Skyward Sword, but fleshed out and complete. Well the joke is on us because both games ended up having an incomplete Sky Realm. Regardless of the quality of the sky world, this approach to having multiple worlds is far different from the previous examples I brought up. It's not some alternate version of another plane, but a separate area located directly above it. The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons kind of had the same approach in the opposite direction, as they implement this idea with Subrosia, an under ground civilization that feels very separate from the surface world. Only the geographic landmarks between the two worlds matters, so it's not 1:1 in the size and general structure I've grown accustomed to. The sky in Tears of the Kingdom and Subrosia are much smaller than the base world map, so it fails to scratch that same itch.

But I still left Tears of the Kingdom with no skin discomfort to be found. Why is that? Well it didn't really hit me until I started viewing the game as what it truly was: A direct sequel with heavy asset reuse. There has been a lot of complaints about how similar Tears of the Kingdom and Breath of the Wild are. Complaints that it’s an extension or DLC, not a brand new game. I was resistant to this criticism at first, but now I accept it as less of a criticism and more of an objective fact. No other Zelda game has the asset reuse concentration that this one has. It very much feels like a continuation. You even keep your horses between games. I started the game and everything felt so familiar, yet so different as well. The geography was very similar, yet altered. The characters were back, but had gone through changes. Breath of the Wild was relaxed and open, while Tears has a dash of urgency and direction. Things feel dire in comparison. The feeling I got from Tears of the Kingdom, is the feeling I got from the 2nd act of Ocarina of Time. And barring the ability to travel back to past, they are essentially congruent. Tears by itself is not a Triforce of the Gods game, but the duology as a whole is.

Every Triforce of the Gods game, hell most 3D Zelda games in general follow a Three Act Structure. In Act 1 you are introduced to the world and have to surmount a set of easy dungeons before confronting the big bad of the game. Whether you get bodied in a cutscene or defeat the evil guy in a boss fight, the 2nd act starts and it's much more dire than the first with tougher enemies and dungeons to conquer. Then in the 3rd act, you confront the big bad and defeat them for real this time. Only the low profile Zelda games have escaped this structure. The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask dodge it as well because it's just built different. I thought Breath of the Wild's open ended design philosophy made this structure impossible, and it does, but only when you view it as a single game.

I've lamented for years about how utterly disappointing the final boss of Breath of the Wild is. It's such a wet fart at the end of a great adventure. But while I don't excuse it, I don't hate it nearly as much as it's no longer the final boss. It's the Act 1 closer. The assault on Hyrule castle at the end of Breath of the Wild is analogous to the assault on Hyrule castle in A Link to the Past, and Calamity Ganon is the equivalent of Agahnim. The last two acts of the journey are in Tears of the Kingdom. I'm quite confident at this point if you focus and ignore the open aspects of both games as you marathon both back to back, you'll have a clear Triforce of the Gods experience. Sure it’s kinda weird how the Sheikah and Divine Beast tech dissipates into the ether without explanation between games, but other than that, it’s a pretty direct follow up. Even though there is no possible way they planned this from the beginning, the narrative structure and story content I’m looking for is present in this duology. But as I previously stated, your transition to the 2nd act is a 1 way street. There is no interaction between the future and past. So mechanically it might not feel the same. But Tears also has us covered on that end. If you want mechanical depth in world traversal, look no further than The Depths themselves.

I used to think the Tears of the Kingdom was a lame name. In a series of games with sick titles, Tears of the Kingdom couldn't really compete. But then I played the game and found out that this title was crafted by someone with a far higher IQ than my own. Now I would tier it higher than most. The pun is on an entirely different level. It's not just about the fall of the Hylian Kingdom, it's about how you explore multiple layers of it. There are 4 worlds to explore in this duology. The original Breath of the Wild Hyrule and the modified Post Time Skip Hyrule are the two main ones. The 3rd(or 2nd chronologically) that you experience is the sky above this Hyrule Shippuden. But underneath it is the best kept secret of this game: The Depths. An entire underground map that is 1:1 in size with the surface. It is a fully realized version of Subrosia. It shows the echoes of the past and future you'd see in Ocarina of Time and Oracle of Ages. It is every bit as intimidating as the Dark World and Lorule. The Depths is arguably the best version of a reflected realm these games have ever had.

With The Depths you'll find remnants of the kingdom's past. It's not as if you are literally traveling back in time, but instead getting the left overs. Faded cultures from millennia ago are present throughout the Depths. It's as if the old civilization the new one was built on top of didn't get destroyed, but was pushed down. This is why all the Easter Egg items you see in past games are located here this time, because that's logically where they should be.

The Depths are eerie and vast. When you first get down there it's so dark you can't see a thing. You use the materials to light up the area, but then you start to realize how futile it is. The Depths are not a series of caves, it is a second map entirely. One of the most gratifying things you can do in these games is get a good vantage point and note all the cool places you can go to. I remember at the beginning of the game when falling to the surface from the sky, immediately took out my ZonaiPad and started marking where I wanted to go.

You can't really do that in The Depths super easily. The only thing that stands out is the Light Roots you see in the distance, other wise you can't see jack without launching light fruit all over the place. It makes exploration absolutely terrifying, and at any point something new can pop out of the dark and attack you or you can accidentally wander into the wrong part of town and get stuck in a pile of HP decreasing sludge. The atmosphere cannot be understated. It felt like I didn't belong there. It was as if I was looting resources from a foreign planet. I got a ton on bombs on my first trip down there, but at the cost of a bit of my sanity. This makes figuring out how to light the dark a priority and one of the more satisfying things you do in this game despite me doing it 120 times.

The Depths are a reflection of the surface in ways other than theming. The underground logically has to be vaguely similar to the surface, with bodies of water and mountains acting as impassable walls while the plains are free to be what ever they want. The general grouping of areas is always identical because the underground is the foundation for the surface. When the game takes advantage of this relationship is when it's at its best. On the surface, the two main landmarks you gravitate towards are Towers and Shrines. Towers being ways to collect map data and Shrines to act as bountiful warp points. They act as sort of exploration checkpoints. Some of these Shrines and Towers are hard to find and access though. You can have a general idea of where a Shrine is, but a general idea might not be enough. A lot of Towers involve puzzles you need to solve before accessing. What does a player do if they get stumped by these landmarks? Go to The Depths.

The Light Roots act as both towers and Shrines in terms of map exploration. They are the only guaranteed source of light in The Depths and activating them lights up the whole area they reside in as well as filling out that map data AND acting as a fast travel point. Activating Light Roots is insanely valuable for further exploration of not only The Depths, but of the surface as well. Light Roots are exactly what they sound like. Bright roots that sprout from The Depths and through the surface where Shrines are blossomed. They are inverses of each other thus are always clearly linked together. Even their names are reversed anagrams of each other. Wherever there's a Light Root there has to be a Shrine directly above it. So if you know where a Light Root is, you have pretty much found a Shrine too. And because the maps for the surface and The Depths are so similar, you almost don't need the towers because you can figure out the geography from the map of The Depths you filled out by activating Light Roots.

And the best part is, this works both ways. If you have found a Shrine you have found a Light Root. If you have activated a tower, you figure out the geography of The Depths easier even without the Light Roots. This duality gives all three of these landmarks more value by how they interact with each other. It's a version of the Dark World that is perfect for an open game that focuses on exploration. The interplay between the worlds is the most fun I have with this game. Puzzles that require knowledge of not just The Depths and surface, but also the sky were the highlights of my playthrough. It's the most interesting this concept has been. But in the end, I don't think I clearly prefer it over the others.

I wish I could be completely positive in this aspect of the game, but like the Demon King Ganondorf, my inner hater will not be subdued. The major draw backs to this version of a parallel world is that it magnifies the existing issues with the game. While there are loads of fun areas to explore on the surface, the map is still plagued with repetition. There are more enemies than in Breath of the Wild, but still not nearly enough for how large this game is. There are caves now to increase the density of content, but most of those caves end up feeling the same halfway through the game. It's the same issue I had with Elden Ring. The amount of ideas the game has can't keep up with the size of the map. And because we have The Depths, the issue is multiplied by two. Exploring The Depths was fine in the beginning and early-mid game, but afterwards it became clear I've seen everything it had to offer yet there was so much left to do. Once I started running into boss rematches, I knew the game was at a loss for content.

I still hold that this the best thing they've done with this concept on a mechanical level. I only wish it was in smaller game. I've come to terms that the finely crafted 3D Zelda experiences that I prefer are dead and gone and have to be helmed by some spiritual successor. But do these games really need to be this fucking big? This is what it always comes down to. Now that we can make impressive huge games, we never stop to think if we should. While I enjoyed this bigger version of Triforce of the Gods that has a surprising dearth of Triforce, I don't think the size is worth it in the end. And I hate to keep complaining about this in everything I write that’s even tangentially related to Zelda, but it continues to be an issue for me and all open world games in general. Hopefully when they make Triforce of the Gods 5, they can reel in the size and make something truly amazing.

[troofless]

update on how i wasted 5h on the new xbc3 dlc story, new grips come to light:

feels a whole lot of the story was hinging on nostalgia bait rather than solving the plot holes in the main story, which is just peachy

matthew is not an interesting protagonist and is only there to represent the family feud in n’s long bloodline of fuckery. i thought matthew and a would have more synergy since they are literally the two faces of the game but they are just surface level friends with banter. a continues holding herself at arms length like alvis does for obvious reasons but this means matthew feels so isolated

nice loredump on xbc1 and xbc2 tho, i like the throwbacks to past places like colony 9 and uraya and prison island

i almost laughed when i saw the joran-looking guy die the first 10 minutes in lmao

the sharla and pandora reincarnations/children were pretty neat ig

shulk’s design in particular looks ugly af come at me bro

was it ever stated what happened to pyra/mythra? did they just die or revert back to the core crystal form? idk i didn’t watch the community stuff. also ig there are multiple green core crystals on glimmer and the fists of the end which is not confusing at all :/

i liked the detail that malos/logos is now the sword of the end and mythra/pneuma is fists of the end which is later noah’s gauntlet thing

confirmed that ghondor is n’s son and no wonder ghondor (main game) was pissed at her name lmaooo

i also liked the throwback to the gem crafting lmao

no explanation for lucky seven because of course

no explanation for riku either

no explanation for how shulk and rex and the others are still unassimilated but some of the other people get sucked into the cycle of reincarnation (i guess z is clumsy ha ha)

some explanation for how the city people don’t get fucked over by the two world merging at the end of main story ig

i literally said ‘what the fuck’ out loud when a said n wasn’t matthew’s enemy. like what the fuck. no.

oh wow imagine trying to justify n’s biggest crime of massacring an entire city of people ha ha wouldn’t it be funny if he didn’t actually murder them, absolving him of all crimes (bruh)

the dlc tried to hard to make n look sympathetic but i ended up hating him more. same for z man. like who invited you to the dlc party gtfo you didn’t even do anything

idk man i think na’el/alpha made a lot of sense in going for the new world esp with what happened in the end of the main story

a: yo but you saw what happened to klaus’s world! they decided to split it up and destroy it like dumbasses! that’s why your plan is bad! she says, literally ignoring that a world of peace is much better than whatever the fuck was the stagnant world of xbc3

also can i question why did alvis. just not leave without matthew. he had to fuck it up by showing himself in his physical form so that everyone could beat him up ten times over. cmon alvis

i feel like nikol and discount mythra could have been taken out of the story and nothing would have changed. what did they do other than be fanservice bait for the xbc1 and xbc2 ppl and have some bullshit ‘i promise to rebuild the city and carry on your legacy, dads :(’ like lmaooo

literally the ending of the main story was them deciding the future for themselves and them not wanting to stay in a stagnant world, something that contradicts the ending of the dlc like wtf

they went all the way, fought the god, just for a conclusion that didn’t matter because the two worlds merged anyway at the end of the game :)

i went into the dlc in the hopes of being able to complain that they locked the best part and best lore of the game behind a paywall but now i’m just disappointed. torna dlc was better. it had better pacing, better protagonist duo with lora and jin, started off stronger, didn’t have stupid flashbacks every three seconds same problem with xbc3 main story, better characters and character-synergy and humour. 

tldr it’s a waste of time not worth it, just play fire emblem engage instead goty fr

[maximumcatfeels]

I don’t know enough Pokémon lore to really write anything, but I think it would be cool/funny if Ingo and Emmet reunited by Emmet stepping off a boat with other new people from other regions coming to Jubilife.

Everyone has been thinking that he’ll show up through a rift, a space-time distortion, or even some fuckery involving Zozoarks, but nah. Fucker just strolls off the boat, walks up to a guard and says “I am Emmet. Where is the man that looks like me?” While pointing at his face.

Of course, Emmet’s in full Cowboy Conductor drip, including a cowboy hat (that the emblem from his conductors hat is now affixed to), a serape in his white and red stripes, and a white bandanna over his ever smiling mouth (that he lowers when he needs to ask people where-is-Ingo??).

Turns out that Emmet has been in Unova or w/e Pokémon equivalent of the American Wild West is, helped his chosen over there get shit done super fast, and then somehow found out about Ingo in Hisui. So, being impatient, he sailed over.

Emmet had retained all of his memories (unlike Ingo), and Arceus/whatever Pokémon Demi-god that needed help over there promised to tell him where Ingo was once he was done helping the chosen one. Emmet was supposed to only be a guiding force (like Ingo) but Emmet was much more proactive and antsy to find his brother, he basically -encouraged- the chosen to speed run saving an entire region. Most of his time was spent on boats making long voyages to get to Kanto, then go up and up through regions until he got to Hisui.

I also think it would be hilarious if Emmet and his chosen one had been caught up in a train robbery whilst in Unova/Pokémon American Wild West (as in press ganged into helping a gang rob a train) and Emmet had only agreed to help because he didn’t trust the chucklefucks to do it safely. It ends up being a comedy of errors, but no injuries/deaths thankfully.

(Later, when they are both back in their proper time/region, Ingo is curious about Emmet’s adventures and decides to check out some history books from the local library. The resulting argument over why there are records of a smiling man in white who kept talking about safety protocols during a train robbery lasts for about a week.)

[seerofmike]

yo. not sure if ure the right person to ask but idk where else to go. i recently came back to apex and am trying to catch up w the lore except im a bit confused. i knew octane hated his dad and was working under him to fuck him over later but now he fell for his dads BS? or am i missing something? and i heard his dad isnt even his dad but his grandpa and im just confused.

also, before i took a break from apex i used to read ur cryptane fics a lot. i found u still into apex and still writing for it as well which is why im asking u. rly like ur fics, tyvm for them :) ty in advance if tumblr doesnt eat this ask.

im glad u like my fics thank you!!!

okay so, not entirely sure when you left or how much you know of the current storyline but quick recap, octane's abusive POS father does some terrorist shit and continuously ridicules him and disowns him in that one season 9 comic, then starts running for Syndicate Head Honcho in season 12 after some fuckery framing maggie for the destruction of olympus.

obviously concerned about his father who is uhhh an evil terrorist (not like maggie, the cool terrorist <3) octane tells lifeline he'll break into his father's safe to gather some info. duardo catches him, but basically like. bribes octane into 'working' for him and octane agrees because he's like teehee!!! i'm gonna screw him over!! che will be sooooooo impressed

then over the course of the quest duardo continuously praises octane and convinces him that he's doing good things by donating to the Frontier Corps. the climax of the quest is lifeline managing to break into duardo's safe while octane finds a video on his computer from a press conference where duardo seems to confess that he loves his family more than anything and that his son is very important to him.

the secret in duardo's safe is his own death certificate. lifeline wants to expose him. octane wants to wait it out and see what happens and might be a little emotionally vulnerable from the whole shebang (as is lifeline tbh cuz she likes to take the whole weight of the outlands on her shoulders), so some petty arguing ensues but it escalates until octane grabs the certificate from her and burns it. they break up as friends officially and both remark that their friendship has been dead for a long long time.

fast forward, octane apparently helps 'duardo' campaign but doesn't question him until the night of the election where he wins, and duardo announces he's taking over lifeline's organization and installing her mother as the new head. octane confronts him after the election, devastated and angry at the idea that duardo had played him. his 'father' insists he hasn't, so when octane demands to know his true identity he tells him: torres silva, his grandfather, and continues to gaslight octane into thinking he's doing it For The Family. in the epilogue, lifeline teams up with maggie to do some terrorist girl shit herself.

so the quest ends with lifeline and octane on opposite sides, and also the reveal that the video that made octane think his father actually cared about him was in fact his grandfather talking about his father LMAAAAAO

how eager / thrilled / willing he is to work with torres seems to fluctuate a little and hasn't really been explored since. on the one hand, he shows moments of anxiety about the whole situation like in this image in the newcastle teasers where the description explicitly says he's nervous about the whole thing;

and in the final chapter he seems genuinely upset and freaked out about the fact that lifeline's mom has taken over the frontier corps, who he thinks is 'not cool' (so true bestie)

he also seems to occasionally be suspicious of torres, right now when you drop in certain areas of the new map (Broken Moon), if he's alone (and notably, *only* if he's alone) he will ask himself what torres wants with the place.

on the other hand, he seems...Fine with engaging with torres still? and maybe even helps him do shitty things? it's implied in this interview between seer and lisa stone that torres paid her to pin the blame of boreas's turbulance on seer, and the way octane reacts after the interview seems to imply that either a.) he knew what torres was planning and is amused or b.) he didn't know, but regardless, was very amused by what torres did to him.

in a loading screen torres also says this (context: they are filming a PR video apologizing for the giant sea monster attacking the legends)

it's not outright confirmed octane still helps him do his political shit after campaigning with him, but it's likely. he also helped pitch boreas as a new apex map to torres with seer and still seems very engaged with him despite the bombs dropped at the end of s12. given that he helped seer pitch boreas, and questions (alone) on cleo about what torres wants with the moon, he seems to suspect something is up, but he isn't as open about it as others and seems kind of hesitant to say anything.

so. the verdict;

i get what apex was trying to do in the season 12 quest. torres DOES start love-bombing octane all of a sudden, which makes octane give literal pause like Twice because "what?? he called me son???? he's never done that before ??????" (<- transgender btw) and i think they were hoping to give the impression that octane is gaslit and manipulated into siding with torres. the narrative also acknowledges that octane's actions are Extremely selfish here and driven entirely by emotion and wanting to feel loved than any sort of logical reasoning or 'greater good' like he insists.

that being said, it really needed more time in the oven. he goes REALLY quickly from "i'm gonna trick him!! teehee!" to burning one of the very few bridges he has and possibly throwing the entire outlands into turmoil because daddy said he loved him once. then it goes very quickly again from "octane unconditionally supports his (grand)father because he is desperate for his approval" to now "octane may in fact regret this and be very suspicious of him" but the latter thing is kind of up in the air given that octane still actively works for him and seems to do a little bit of villainous shit himself.

right now, i think they are intentionally going with a rather messy narrative because like...abuse is messy. family is messy. being manipulated and gaslit and you yourself manipulating and gaslighting your friends and repeating this cycle of abuse because your abuser suddenly pretends he cares about you because he wants to USE you for political gain is a very messy story and it always would have been.

i don't think octane 100% is onboard with torres or fell entirely for his BS, but i don't think he hates him either or what he's doing. it seems like there *IS* a part of him that cares for people Other than himself, but octane's focus is kind of on Me Me Me and right now what matters to Me Me Me is the fact that HE feels loved and gets what HE wants, outlands be damned, and admitting he was wrong means that torres does not love him, and that che was right. and since he also happens to be very petty he doesn't want to admit she was right since they're fighting rn LMAO

i think the story suffers from the main problem with All of apex's storytelling which is just that there wasn't enough time to sit with what it presents but overall i think this is like. fine. almost good, even. one of the better characters arcs apex has going for it right now.

(sorry for how long this is btw i think i went off topic <////3)

(btw cryptane enjoyer. they have voicelines now. they're shite but by god do they have them)

[aemiron-main]

You have absolutely 💯 sent me down a rabbit hole with your laundrygate and doorgate theories!!

This is such a ramble of thoughts so forgive the length. I apologize sincerely if someone already has shared a similar opinion but....what if our favorite unreliable narrator really was under an illusion during his kidnapping? What if Will does have powers which led to him being Vecna's first victim? And what if the weird time inconsistencies aren't due to time manipulation but rather space-time.

In the first episode, the Duffers give us the Xmen 134 reference. Most people quickly connected that to Brenner's manipulation of El and how she later defeats the demogorgan. The parallels are there for sure but if Will really was under an illusion and does have powers than there's a possible bigger parallel.

Without going to deeply into comic lore or nitty-gritty specifics of the Phoenix Force abilities, the villain Mastermind, in a bid to control Jean Grey and her powers, creates incredibly vivid illusions to awaken her true potential. This eventually gives rise to the Dark Phoenix. The Phoenix Force can manipulate space-time. Create and destroy universes. Edit timelines by changing both the past and the future. Be in two places at once.

What if the Mindflayer was already watching Will and was connected to him much like the Phoenix watched Jean since she was a child? Both making them targets for villains who see their potential and much like Mastermind, Vecna's vivid illusion triggered something far more powerful than he was prepared.

Space-time capabilities would explain why Will's vanishing is similar to teleportation. It would also explain why Barb's disappearance was similar if the mindflayer and Will already had a connection which allowed the demogorgan to simply move between worlds. And why Will and the Mindflayer can exist simultaneously in the UD and out. His communicating with Joyce and El while in the UD. The strange gaps in time could be editing from the part of his mind that was already connected to the Mindflayer. He is a spy after all.

What I personally find vexing is that Will's true sight ability simply disappeared after the end of his possession despite having had it prior to. Did the Mindflayer absorb some of the ability since Will and Flayed Billy were both able to communicate with El in the void? Or did Owens install Soteria in Will at the end of season 2 since season 4 revealed that he and Brenner knew about Vecna what he did to his victims? Owens knows vecna wants to destroy the world and if he suspected that Will could spy again, installing soteria would make sense because it would limit the connection. It also links up with his neck spidersense and could be why Will's expressions when discussing Owen look like he doesn't really trust him....because you know, he's a spy.

Here's to him being a successful double spy next season.

OMG PLS NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE BECAUSE THIS IS ABSOLUTELY GENIUS!!!! IM SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO GET AROUND TO THIS ASK!! Everything you said about the xmen 134 really caught my eye, because  I had no clue about the lore behind it!! and i personally DEFINITELY think that will was under some sort of illusion/space time fuckery the night he disappeared, because theres way too many small, purposeful inconsistencies for them all to be production mistakes, including things like the gun still being on the rack in the shed AFTER will disappears, but then gone again when hopper goes in the shed the next day. And the fact that the xmen 134 comic + all of the genius parallels you’ve described here is mentioned in the same episode that will disappears in, right before he disappears?? There’s no way it’s a coincidence.  When you described “The Phoenix Force can manipulate space-time. Create and destroy universes. Edit timelines by changing both the past and the future. Be in two places at once,” I actually immediately thought of will’s season 2 episodes, considering that even dustin, lucas and mike say that it’s different from dnd true sight, considering that with dnd true sight, the person cannot be hard by the other world, but will IS able to be harmed by the mindflayer/the upside-down. So, will’s abilities definitely point towards being physically present in both the real world and the upside-down at the same time, and physically able to interact with both at the same time (ie, when will walks out of the arcade in the upside-down, he also physically walks out of it in the real world.)  ”Space-time capabilities would explain why Will's vanishing is similar to teleportation. It would also explain why Barb's disappearance was similar if the mindflayer and Will already had a connection which allowed the demogorgan to simply move between worlds. And why Will and the Mindflayer can exist simultaneously in the UD and out. His communicating with Joyce and El while in the UD. The strange gaps in time could be editing from the part of his mind that was already connected to the Mindflayer. He is a spy after all.” YES I LOVE THIS IT MAKES SENSE!!!  OKAY, SO: personally, i don’t think that it actually disappeared, especially since he had the ability prior to his possession/had his first episode in the show at the end of season 1- instead, I think that his powers/true sight possibility went “dormant,” in a similar way that El’s powers did + how she had to use nina to get them back. However, it’s also strange to me that will’s episodes seem to have ended as of season 3, but his neck tingles/connection to vecna still remains.  I think that everything you’ve mentioned here regarding will and flayed billy or owens and soteria are absolutely viable theories, and I’m honestly not sure what the answer is. And that’s also a very good point about linking up with the neck spidersense!!! And regarding flayed billy, when you mentioned that, it brought to mind the fact that billy sort of sees a “clone” of himself in the upside-down that talks to him, and like i’ve pointed out before, there’s that weird netflix still image on the pause screen that shows will looking into the shed at the EXACT moment that he would have disappeared: did we somehow have a weird will-clone situation going on???  It’s also interesting that during the scene where will is talking about owens with mike in s4, there’s that blooper of noah going “when i was the spy,” so that is another, albeit small, link between owens and spy imagery. It’s also interesting to me that owens was pre-emptively working on nina in the case of el losing her powers/needing them back again, so he’s definitely been thinking pretty far ahead with this sort of stuff, so i think there’s definitely a possibility that he was worried about will spying again.  My brain is total mush today so apologies if my reply is all over the place, but this is all absolutely brilliant and i love it, and im going to be thinking about it!! 

[rhine-gold-archive]

Yo i don't know if anybody has discussed this yet - but i think somewhere i read "HoYo will eventually kill one of the playable characters" and like, this memory just randomly woke me up at 3 a.m. I wanted to ask if you might have an opinion about this topic? If any major, playable character - might die, for example near the end of the game? Like Dain (if they release him as playable) - but it might just as well be, like, the traveler, or Kaeya, or Lisa (if HoYo remembers she exsistes) - ???

well, it's a popular topic for speculation, but at this point its all we can do - speculate. but yeah, some characters have narrative death flags all over them, especially everyone associated with Khaenri'ah - like Dainsleif, travelers, Kaeya, Albedo.

Dain's entire story is about being in constant suffering for 500 years and he basically announced himself as a final boss in Teyvat chapter trailer.

Albedo not only has the ongoing shitshow with his doppelganger, but also, we have a storyline of Durin, the first creation of Gold, who also created Albedo. Durin is known as an evil black dragon, who attacked Mondstadt and had to be killed by Dvalin. But if we read lore of some items on Dragonspine, we can learn that Durin wasn’t actually evil, in fact, he had a very gentle and poetic soul and died, admiring Dvalin and wishing they could be friends instead. Re: Albedo, hoyo pushes very heavily that Traveler is Albedo’s only close friend, whom he admires and shares secrets. while at the same time, we have Albedo’s bombshell line “Will you stop me, if one day I lose control... destroy Mondstadt, destroy everything.” so it seems, they are heavily seeding the “at some point Albedo becomes corrupted, loses control and attacks Mondstadt, and has to be killed by the Traveler, his closest friend and confidant,” narrative, in parallel to Durin’s story.

both traveler and abyss sibling I’d say are at risk. especially after the lore drop about the inteyvat flowers (flowers that Lumine wears in her hair) from Dain in the chasm - how these flowers only grow in Khaenri'ah, but if you take them out, they will crystalize and never wilt, until you take them back to Khaenri'ah - then, they will crumble. And counting that abyss sibling keeps talking about restoring their homeland and they are both seemingly immortal and hundreds of years old, they can either be from Khaenri'ah (with some time fuckery) or from the previous civilization from the same place where later Khaenri'ah was built. Either way, motive of being immortal and then crumbling to dust when returning to homeland doesn’t bode well for both siblings.

Kaeya has I’d say several narrative death flags, the whole “last hope of Khaenri'ah” and allusions to being it’s prince, the whole eyepatch and “celestia’s needle stashed in a cave” i talked about recently, the choice Mona alleges he’ll have to make, the angsty standoff with Diluc. Though if they kill him just to get some Diluc angst, like “oh Diluc thought he was a betrayer, but Kaeya sacrificed himself to save Mondstadt, they reconcile and Kaeya dies,” I’m gonna be so mad, it’s such a tired cliche.  

Honorable mentions to Lisa (if they remember she exists) who had half of her life eaten by the cursed book and whose constellation is time sands, Venti, who has a tragic backstory with many dead friends and “ehehe” demeanor that positions him very well as a tear-jerker sacrifice, Tartag who just like... has the vibes, due to foul legacy eating his life, abyss association and the whole “corrupted into constantly seeking bloodlust and battles” thing. Maybe Zhongli? He has a storyline of slowly degrading and killing him off would be both a shocker moment to the audience, kinda taking the safety net away - now there’s really no Morax looking over from the shadows, and also loop back to how his entire storyline started with his funeral. 

[unnaturalbleu]

DSMP SCHOOL NEWS AU

Anchors: Dream, Sapnap, Tommy, Wilbur, Tubbo, Quackity, Schlatt

Camera: Eret, Tubbo, George

Teleprompter: George, Tubbo, Fundy

Editors: George, Fundy, Tubbo

Producers: Tubbo, Wilbur, Dream, Eret, Karl,

Notes: George is forced to only be a part of the behind the scenes because of some repetitive unspoken events.

Tubbo has the power and experience to produce his own one man news show (he’s done it once and he can do it again.)

1st class period of the day. The school news show only provides the limited amount of “school” related news and the rest is just fuckery produced by the students.

Dream and Sapnap are the favored anchor duo. George never arrives to school on time so he sticks to just helping draft segments.

On the rare days, in the middle of the show with no introduction whatsoever, students will see a fifteen second vertical formatted video of George doing whatever the fuck he does.

George has been banned from the editing booth multiple times. He is now just a cameo… (unless)

Wilbur only joined for the CTE credit and easy pass.

But for the passing grade, he actually needed to produce segments so with one 50 second video of him walking around the school proposing a revolution. No one knows what the revolution is for but with the mild subtext of drugs, he gained a following of freshman that trailed behind him like ducks during passing period.

Tommy switched into school news, naturally following Wilbur. He didn’t do much besides grabbing a camera and finding ways to push Dream’s buttons.

The dteam trio were on a school field trip for whatever reason one day. Wilbur, Tommy, Fundy, Tubbo, and Eret realized that ten minutes before the bell for second period was about to ring, they didn’t have a news show.

Nobody had access the script, (or so they thought, really in too much of a rush to check the class files,) Wilbur begins bullshitting his way out of every news section.

The College and Career time slot was just Wilbur talking about the politics among the student body.

Tommy brought on sports by talking about Minecraft, I mean why wouldn’t he?

Fundy straight up speed edited the show. He’s never done that before. He was only in that class cause the rest of the electives were full.

Wilbur being hella proud of the freshman somehow whipping together a show right before the bell rings, he adopts Fundy. Senior adopting freshman moment.

Tubbo even found an entire folder among the school computer dedicated to George’s cryptic short videos. He throws one in to keep the consistency of the show.

When it’s aired, the teachers are confused and the students are mildly entertained. It was a success.

When the dteam come to school the next day, Dream and Sapnap find out that they are pushed to anchor the shows every other day. The other days, Tommy and Wilbur fill that spot.

War had begun. And the student body was only a witness.

It was decided, Wilbur made shows for men

It had begun from adding difficult words to pronounce in the script to adding props in the background. Everyday a crew sabotaged the other. The student body actually caught on and tried to notice the little Easter eggs of the opposing crew.

The dteam somehow took Fundy hostage, and the freshman (who actually wasn’t a freshman, just somehow everyone assumed he was) edited their shows from time to time, but he’s still loyal to Wilbur.

Eret, however, was persuaded by Dream’s offering of getting them coffee everyday. A dramatic day it was when the segment of Eret’s betrayal was released.

Some kid from the graphic design class had actually printed out revolutionary posters for Wilburs crew.

Near the end of the semester, their teacher politely begged the students to just end the rivalry and produce a normal show. Dream and Wilbur had actually typed up a full on contract for their teacher and talked to the principle about how they were going to conclude their story on the very last day of class for that semester.

Tommy and Dream were anchoring together that day. The show ran longer than any other show before. Between each actual section of school news, there were segments. Tommy and Dream even had a debate and school approved duel (kahoot).

All the students were shocked. Did it really just end? The crews built that whole story for months and it ended.

But that was only first semester. Everyone had more cards to play.

NEXT SEMESTER (a mess/ my brain cant remember most of the election arc so its just a plain mess at this point)

Around the time when the whole school was electing their student body presidents, he didn't have any interest in it, but Wilbur decided to get political and worm his way into the student elections just for entertainments sake of the news segments.

Dream didn't have much time on his hands this semester so he only stuck to regular news.

Sapnap cried about it and tried to drag George with him to make a segment, but the man is still banned from the news. He makes a segment about finding a new partner to produce segments with. He got himself a fiancé instead.

George gets unbanned from the show for like one day and he also, for some reason, also gets married to ninja... the teacher banned him very quickly.

When Dream actual out his focus back onto the news again, he found out everyone was getting married and he was very lost on whatever lore Wilbur's crew was producing.

Why was Wilbur filming inside of the janitors closet. Who was the new kid, (Schlatt), that was anchoring solo with Quackity. Fundy and Tubbo still stayed in the editors booth, seemingly oblivious to whatever's happened.

As one of those off days where everyone is just absent for some reason, Dream is half asleep, trying to get through reading the news. "And next in sports... Dream will you marry me, the basketball team won last nights game– Wait what?" he reads out, he looks over to the booth and it's just Fundy in there sitting at the teleprompter. "I'll bring you breakfast tomorrow if you say yes" Fundy types through the teleprompter. Fundy edits that part of the show out just so the teacher won't get mad.

The next day George walks into the booth to find Dream and Fundy sharing a whole ass buffet. He walks out.

Tommy was persistent to bring one of his friends onto the show just for a little cameo. Techno didn't understand anything that was happening but weeks later, he's still there and now has a cult following.

Towards the end of the school year, they make the last week of news very eventful. All school related news was speed ran and cut to one minute, the rest was just segments. Most was just a farewell for the seniors (/wilbur).

anyone please add onto this,,

[gingermintpepper]

After thinking it over for a bit, I've decided that I might as well do a proper underrated 3DS game rec list. I'm a bit of an ATLUS junkie and that's gonna be pretty disgustingly apparent in this list, but it's not my fault that they released hit after hit and all of them were duly ignored.

Due to tumblr's 10 image limit (and my struggle to keep motivated to do one thing for more than three hours) I'm definitely gonna have to break this up into parts and I'm fairly certain one of these lists is just gonna be MegaTen games lmao but I'd like to let people know about these excellent titles and see if I can't at least get people interested in them so they can get more traction.

So, without further ado:

Some 3DS Games that were criminally slept on (part 1)

Monster Hunter Stories

God, where do I begin with this game. Well, the basics: It's a JRPG spinoff title of the now widely successful and popular Monster Hunter series featuring a different take on interacting with the varied and intricate monsters populating the world: Riders.

Yep, instead of hunting the beasties, you play as a young rider who's completed their intiation ritual and can now bond with 'Monsties' as they've cutely labelled the usually ferocious monsters of the wilds. The great thing is that you still fight Monsters--tons of them in fact but this isn't a paid review and in my humble opinion, the most impressive thing about this game is the visual style. The landscapes, the armour, the way they redesigned and 3DS-ified the classically hyper realistic and monstrous beasts to not only be absolutely adorable but still capable of being intimidating when the time calls for it, the stellar animation of special moves and combination attacks--it's delicious, nutritious, stupendous, I can and will consume it like it's part of my recommended caloric intake.

It's very akin to Pokemon in the way its basic gameplay premise is set up, however, instead of catching--or even indeed befriending--the Monsties in the game, you rummage through their nests and steal their eggs, later hatching them and getting yourself a brand new lightly kidnapped monster pal!

Other general things about the game:

Pros:

The armour and weapon sets for both male and female characters slap along with the general character customisation options. They're incredibly diverse (though limited in body type) and you can switch around traits and features whenever you want from your house.

The POGS--these porkers are everywhere and they serve as tiny little achievements for exploring every odd and end of the world. Also they have little outfits. They're so cute. 🥺🥺

You can actually ride the Monsties. All of em. Or, at least the ones that you have available to be your buddies. They all have exploration skills and traits that not only make exploring much more interesting but encourage you to swap out your active Monstie and play around with your options a bit.

Y'all breeding Monsties is complicated and I live for just how intense and ridiculous you can get with optimal builds for these things.

The story is really competently put together! The characters, character designs and even the internal conflict with your starting trio of characters is really compelling along with the mystery of the blight that's infecting Monsters across the world. It's not anything worth awards but it's compelling and it makes you care about the characters if that's what you're in the market for.

Amazing sound design, expansive world, everything about the presentation of this game oozes that Monster Hunter charm even if the art is cutesier than usual. You'll never get bored of its stellar visual presentation!

Available for around twenty quid on the Google Play store, so if you want, you could actually get the full game on your smartphone or tablet. Note though that it would be a battery nuker.

Cons:

If you're on a regular 3DS, frame rate drops are a given. This game kinda pushes the visual capabilities of the 3DS to its absolute limit--a lot like Okamiden did back on the DS.

One save file :( It's pretty much for the same reason as above but still.

If you're playing as the girl, you can't get male armour and vice versa. Since there's only one save file, you'll never be able to have all of the armour sets in a single playthrough and that's criminal because both of the sets for the genders are absolutely breath-taking, thank you.

I 👏can't 👏make👏my👏 own 👏Palico👏

Multi-player for this game is pretty dead seeing as it's almost five years old by now and never got much press or traction. Usually this wouldn't be an issue - this game is 99% singleplayer and you don't really need to fuss about with multi-player to have fun, but if you want to collect all the Monsties, you'll need it since the only way to get Glavenus is through pvp achievements. :/

Final thoughts: Play it if you find yourself getting tired or disappointed with 3DS Pokemon games but still want something that feels as fantastical as Pokemon. It outshines the 3DS Pokemon games at every turn and I will never be over just how thoughtfully put together and fully realised these games are. Of course, if you've ever played Monster Hunter, then you know just how intensive these games are with the lore, biology, cultures and world of their Monsters but seeing that translated into JRPG format was just very sobering and it's a game that, to this day, continues to awe me with just how much love and attention went into it.

Last note: If you're still unsure about it, there's a demo available on the e-shop of the 3DS that allows you to play through the entire initial area of the game. Your data does carry through to the full release and to give you an idea of how much I've been able to squeeze out of it - my playtime for that demo is currently sitting at 22 hours. Make sure to get a hold of that Cyan-Kut-Ku!

7th Dragon III Code: VFD

The title may sound intimidating but the premise is not! A mysterious disease called Dragon Sickness spread by the Dragonsbane flowers that have cropped up all around the world. You and your team are recruited by the Nodens game company after you display extraordinary prowess in their hit virtual reality game 7th Encount. As you go through the adventure, you are tasked with finding out the truth behind the Dragon Sickness and asked to stop both it and the Dragons that are destroying the world.

This game is fun. It's another turn-based JRPG however, in this game you create all of your characters yourself from the myriad of classes available to you from the jump. Different classes of course have very different specialisations - Samurai focus on high powered cutting damage with their swords, Duelists are summoners who can influence the element of the battlefield as well as summon monsters from each element, Agents can hack into your enemies and inflict a barrage of nasty ailments, just to name a few - and you are given three teams of three characters each to experiment with different team comps and find the balance that works for you. There's also a wide variety of Dragons to hunt and kill in the game, which directly affects how infected your world is with the Dragon Sickness causing Dragonsbane. Along the way you will also come into contact with many interesting characters, concepts and confrontations that will make the task of saving the world all the more imperative.

Pros

1. The character creator and differing classes give way for tons of experimenting and playing around with your own unique approach to combat and carrying out your missions. Granted, 'character creation' is generous, it's little more than palatte swaps but the classes are really where VFD shines. Eight main classes may not sound like a lot, but the expaniveness of the character skills, their synergy with their fellow classes and the uniqueness of some of the classes in and of itself allows for so much flexibility and creativity in approaches to even tougher bosses. It also encourages the switching about of your party members to really finagle with the options available to you.

2. God this game is pretty. The locations, the character art, the creature design - all of it is gorgeous and this game capitalises on every bit of the 3DS's presentation limitations as it can.

3. You can romance anything and everyone - yes, you can even be gay/lesbian/poly in this game. In fact, one of the main characters - Julietta - is gnc and he's a constant source of joy as well one of my personal favourite characters, right behind Yuma.

4. Exploration is very very forgiving as the game has healing spots and teleport nodes all over the world to allow for quick, seamless travel between quest points without feeling like anything is too much of a hassle. There are also special enemies that allow for quick grinding as well as quick farming of money. In general, the game does a really good job of making sure that the grind is never unbearable or inconsiderate of your time.

Cons:

1. This is the fourth game in a series the West has never seen any other title for, and from the looks of it, will probably never see any other titles for. Because of that, there are some elements that may seem confusing or revelations in the plot that may seem to come out of nowhere.

2. While the visuals are great, the OST of this one is pretty short making for a lot of reused soundtracks that can get really annoying if you're like me and need your audio to be interesting or consistent so it doesn't distract you too much.

3. This one isn't really a con but it is divisive: This game gets pretty difficult at times. A few of the main dragon enemies including and especially the final boss can give you a serious run for your money in the annoy-o-meter in terms of the kind of absolute JRPG fuckery they can pull out of their magic bag of bullshit movesets and while I generally enjoy that kind of thing, I know it's not for everyone. Most regular combat shouldn't be too tricky once you have a team comp that works well together but you also need to pay attention since the same team that carries you to victory one time might be worth beans against another dragon.

Final thoughts: This is... a really good game. Interesting story, really interesting characters, pretty world and a battle system that really makes you sit down and think. There's also a demo for this available in the e-shop and while your data doesn't carry over - you do receive multiple perks for carrying over your demo data including some exclusive items that, while not game breaking, do help a ton in the early stages of the game.

This isn't a final list by any stretch of the word; I only have the energy to do these two right now, but the next games up for coverage are Ever Oasis and Stella Glow! If you're interested in my full plan of games I want to cover here then my current lineup includes: Theatrhythm: Curtain Call, Project Mirai: Deluxe, Culdecept Revolt, Alliance Alive, Radiant Historia: Perfect Chronology, Etrian Odyssey V, Devil Survivor 2: Record Breaker and Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse.

Finally, if anyone has played any of the games I mention, cover or plan to cover PLEASE REACH OUT TO ME, I AM SO LONELY IN MY FORTRESS OF SAND. On a serious note, I'd love to hear what other people who've played these games think!

Thanks for reading,

-Ginger

PS: @feralpeacock Because a million years ago, on my first underrated games post, you asked that I remember you. :D

[entropic-introspection]

Final Fantasy XIV: A Quick(ish) Summary As Told By Someone Too Lazy To Recheck Exact Times/Things

1.0- We don't talk about it

A Realm Reborn (ARR)- for some strange reason the world got like, completely blown up 5 years ago, crazy! You are some dumb kid from nowhere in particular, with nothing but the clothes on your back and a weapon that is little more than a chunk of wood, or a book. Possibly just your fists. You have got 50 levels and a shitload of lore to get through until you reach the first expansion.

Essentially: you don't have enough money for chicken nuggets, your fashion game is nonexistent, and every high level player calls you a sprout and exhibits Concern about your every action (they mean well).

Garlemald bad, Ascians bad, Eorzea uhhh trying to be good but kinda racist/capitalist/pirates with a history of colonialism, Coerthas is French Catholic and in the Crusades with the dragons. Hydaelin... good? Confusing, for sure, often referred to as Mother in text. Primals bad and scary, but fortunately you are immune to their mind-fuckery techniques thanks to Crystal Mom and surprisingly good at kicking their asses. Garleans mad that you ""savages"" keep killing Primals, despite having a whole mandate against Primals and Primal summoning. Ascians mad that you keep killing Primals because Ascians are dicks. People die, there is an amnesia plot, some annoying twerp is annoyingly right about a lot of things and also you can't get rid of him, Moogles, possession, fucking Ancient Aliens Allagans (if it's a problem in ARR, it's Ascians or Allagans aight), and hey ho you go and kick Garlean asses until they throw a giant machine at you that they stuffed full of Primal juice. Such devastation-!

Then there is the slightly post ARR stuff, where we're still level 50-ish but not really into the next expansion. So basically, we meet Dragon Dad who slaps Crystal Mom's blessing off of you to build character, Ascians are once again dicks, Who The Hell Names These Things, wow Lysanderoth you're definitely not suspicious at all, and our annoying twerp is dabbling in politics and for some reason you're getting fond of him?? Just in time for...

Heavensward (Lvl 50-60)- Congratulations, you are now an enemy of the state! We return/flee to French Catholic Coerthas/Ishgard, where we get to room with our Dear Friend, Haurchefant.

Don't mind how all the high leveled players have started crying. This expansion is emotionally devastating, has a great storyline, and also features canonical consensual dragon vore as a plot point. You know that tweet that's all "Church bad because they won't let you fuck dragons"? Yes, that's Heavensward. You will still cry. We embark on an epic road trip with the annoying twerp (ft his existential teenage crisis), a famous dragon killer and sadboi, and a famous lady who advocates peace/fucking dragons. Somehow, none of you kill each other. Instead, you murder a weirdly attractive bug-man with good music and a desire for violence, a giant flying whale, and some old dudes. You also beat up the same Ascian from the first bit, again. And again, in his final(?) form. Dragon Dad has come along to watch your progress, and also check on his kids cause he's actually, y'know, the entire progenitor of the dragon race. Wow! His family is very sad, mostly. But he does like you, so hey, he can adopt you and have one kid that turned out ok and happy! Hahahahha there's no therapists in Eorzea :')

Then we get to deal with "Hey we ended your like 500 year+ Crusade and kind of upended your social structures, y'all good?" (no), something something Warriors of Darkness, something something Urianger sus, then ALISAIE JOINS THE PARTY. I love her ok, let me have this. She's the annoying twerp's twin, and she's more inclined to hitting things that politics and philosophy. She's also kind of crushing on you. Also Minfillia kinda fucks off to nowhere, which is weird, b/c she has been Important but also Not Involved with the plot for like. 8 years.

Stormblood (Lvl 60-70)- Return of Lysanderoth! Briefly. Before he fucks you over, again. And a bunch of other people, honestly. But hey, this puts Eorzea in open contention with Garlemald for the first time in years, instead of them hovering in an uneasy cold war. For the first goddamn time in the game, you canonically get your ass kicked. Hard. So hard you decide fuck it! And go overseas to Fantasy Japan/China to visit some nice people you helped out earlier. You get catfished. You meet a weeb. There's some pirates, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There's Ravana take 2, this time in a slightly more 'Forever 21' phase. Wild, young, free, REJOICE.

You attempt to inspire rebellion (since your character doesn't talk much, this is quite difficult). Garleans crack down, and hey look, the dude who kicked your ass is back! Prince Zenos Yae Galvus, as by this point you've hopefully learned, even if you're bad with names like me. He kicks your ass again, but this time we break his helmet, and wait shit is he... kind of hot? Maybe? Fuck?? He pins you to a wall and tells you to find him later, it's all confusing and prompts strange butterflies in stomachs. (Side note: as a lesbian, I am making some assumptions here. Mostly based off of how I reacted to the idea of Tsukuyomi doing the same. Mm.)

Then he promptly fucks off, and to work off that sexual tension you square up and work with local friends on Rebellion! You get help from some neighboring nomads after proving you're cool enough to tame a bird, and this proves enough to free the area from Garlean control (for now). We go back to Eorzea, and prepare to kick Zenos' head in. He's playing hard to get though, so we gotta get through some other folks, learn hard lessons about war/colonization, and feel bad. AND THEN WE KICK HIS- oh no wait. Is he... coming on to us again? Oh jesus man, get a therapist, oh my god, this is awkward for us both. Turns out he's kinda depressed and just wants you. To fight him. To the death. There is some bullshittery and he becomes dragon. Fails to kill you, so he kills himself. (Spoiler: it doesn't stick)

The Garlean Empire is now pissed off at you, and Eorzea in general. Everyone is kung-fu fighting, but oops, Garlemald is preparing to commit ~war crimes~! Someone is doing something weird, which is making your Scion friends fall into comas, which is both very convenient and highly inconvenient, cause all of you are kinda needed right now! Zenos, or something in his body, is causing trouble as well. Look, even when we thought he was dead he was causing trouble.

Shadowbringers (Lvl 70-80): We find out what's been making our friends pass out- someone from another dimension has been trying to yoink you over to them, and like all attempts at using the Rescue spell, it just sometimes leads to hilarious accidents. In this case, some epic lag, so although your friends have only been out of it for a week or two at most, they've been in this other world for 5 whole years in some cases. Turns out, Garlean war crimes are all an Ascian plot (what isn't, by this point), and mysterious Crystal Exarch is hoping you can save this world and your own.

At this point, Yoshi P, the lead developer, pulls out a gun and asks if you've been doing all those side-quests and optional 48 man raids. He worked very hard on those, you know. He put in lots of lore. Then he asks if you remember all those dangling plot hooks from previous expansions. We're addressing a lot of those. And adding more. You are sweating and nodding frantically while scrolling a wiki on your phone.

You get to feel like you're in an Otome game, because there's two dudes being weirdly polite and interested in you, but also real snappish to each other in terms of "fuck off she's mine". Alisaie and Alphinaud off-screen character development. Urianger still sus. Thancred now a dad? Y'shtola still so good. A lot of things happen, and you get progressively sadder as the expansion goes on. You get a nice, great big burst of hope and love, and then SOMEONE is a DICK with a GUN. (It is not Yoshi P.)

Now you just feel bad. Your character feels bad. This is all build up for the A) some motherfucking revelations and B) the utter catharsis of "If you could take one more step... would you?" "What, all by myself?" "THROW WIDE THE GATE"

I have shed legitimate tears over Shadowbringers ok, between the music, story, and pacing it is an Experience. Oh my god tho, all the music from Shadowbringers is so good. La-HEE

[stained-brutal-crackpot]

*looks at the last ask you answered* TELL ME ABOUT UR SIGNUS HCS

This post might get long, which is pretty much standard for all my other headcanon dumps, so. Yeah

Okay so the standard stuff: what's canonically confirmed about Signus?

- They're some kinda void cryptid, no one knows where it came from

- They were worshiped by the Statigel clan until they all got Fuckin' Merked. This also included them deriving some of their weaponry & equipment from the power of Signus itself, which was pretty much lost once the whole place was destroyed. I haven't managed to find any information on what happened to it after this.

- Their next appearance in the Calamity timeline is when someone hired them to kill Yharim, but they weren't able to because DoG pulled a fucky wucky and trapped them in a pocket dimension for god knows how long

- After this, they had at least some hand in Statis's death, meaning that they switched sides before the rebellion leaders died

Alrighty so. Everything from this point forward is Very Non Canon and I'm being very careful here because Signus in particular does not leave as much room for lore expansion as some of the other chrs and I'm particularly interpreting them as being a lot more sympathetic than the "unga bunga I kill whoever you point me at" characterization that seems so popular these days. Got it? Good. Anyways moving on (take a shot every time I say 'anyways' or 'moving on')

- I have a lot of thoughts about Signus's exact origins but at risk of getting too far from canon I'm not going to talk about that here or possibly ever. We're starting off at their first known appearance: being worshiped by the Statigel clan.

- It's mentioned that the clan used its power to improve on and strengthen their equipment. The Statigel clan doesn't seem like the type to exploit their deity's power for their own ends (*cough* ANAHITA *cough*), and neither does it seem like Signus wouldn't know about what was happening, so they were probably fine with what the clan was doing. Plus, worship seems to be what strengthens gods in the Calamity universe, so the clan likely wasn't on Signus's bad side.

- Gonna digress a bit here with one little tidbit of a theory I have, and it's to do with the cosmic kunai. Yeah, that confusing ass knife I don't know how to draw. In the lore, Statis is reported as having received it from his clan's elders, which isn't unreasonable because as we've established, they've been drawing upon Signus's power for their weapons, right? But the thing is that the cosmic kunai can't be crafted— it drops directly from Signus. (And I know, you don't have to tell me, don't try to get lore from gameplay and all that, crafting recipes are non canon, etc etc. This is a theory and I'm not claiming it to be canon at all, I'm just reading way too deep into it.) I've taken this (probably incorrectly, but whatever, I'm too far gone by now) to mean that they were, at some point, directly given that weapon for one reason or another, implying that Signus was probably genuinely cool with the whole worshipping deal.

- Okay so everything is cool and dandy for maybe a couple hundred years until the unrest within the clan and outside of it due to the royal family's fuckery starts to happen. Signus likes these silly flesh bags enough to give them free shit, but not enough to go through the hassle of saving them from imminent destruction. They give their best equipment to some kid, unleash said kid upon the world to do some good ol' fashioned mass murdering, and then subsequently die.

- Whoops. No more worshipping perks. They're kinda bummed out about the slight loss of power, and they do check in on the sole survivor of the people who venerated them from time to time, but revolution and trying to take down tyrannical shitty governments is boring— frankly, this void cryptid has better things to do, and anyways the kid seems to be doing just fine on his own. It's basically the deific equivalent of putting your Sims on "care for self" and scrolling through your phone for three hours. Oh hey would you look at that, there's some new dude in town aiming to become Calamity's Next Top Tyrant. Huh.

- Moving on: as it turns out, this vengeful new upstart and his cute pet dragon are horrible, horrible people! Who would have guessed? Signus is kind of appalled but not nearly enough to take action. There's a growing rebellion too, which coincidentally just so happens to be located in the mountains where their old worshipers used to live! That's fun. They sit back with some popcorn for a bit and watch everything go down, but they're not gonna interfere unless someone asks them to.

- Shocker! Someone's asked them to interfere! Mr. Sole Survivor kid over here does some summoning ritual at one of the mountain shrines and hires them to do what they do best: murder! Signus is like "Yeah ofc I gotcha bro" and blips off to go do some tyrant murdering. It's an important job from a loyal customer, so they zip over to the Jungle Temple and get ready to rock.

- Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. This is not good. What the fuck is this spiky blue hotdog doing? They clocked in for another regularly-scheduled murder for hire and now they're trapped in a pocket dimension with this worm trying to kill them? They did not sign up for this. So now Signus, feeling pretty terrible now that they both A) have lost some of their power due to the worshiper situation and B) have failed their first and possibly most important contract ever, is decidedly not having such a good time. And when said worm offers them a job, they decide it's not like they've any other way to get out of there and accept, figuring that they'll just work out the failed contract another time. Maybe they'll offer a refund or something.

- This decision quickly proves to not be good, as later this kid shows up at the temple looking frighteningly dead inside, and then Signus has to kill the last remaining person with any sort of faith in them.

Whoops.

- So, having had the one thing they even marginally gave a shit about destroyed, they resign themself to working for this edgy teenage emo worm in exchange for more power and something to do to pass the time. Yay...?

[isaacsapphire]

(re: the fanfiction research thing) Colt like the guns? I know nothing about him but now I'm curious. What should I ask you? :P

Yeah, Colt like the guns. Samuel Colt, the real historical figure who invented a workable repeating firearm, and became particularly associated with revolvers. The early seasons of TV show Supernatural featured some lore involving various things that their fictional version of Samuel Colt did, including make a revolver that could kill anything, including supernatural entities that were otherwise difficult or impossible to kill by other means that is very important to the plot.

Anyways, the dates given by the TV show were actually a little wonky when you dig into the timeline for the real Samuel Colt... Which I did because that was my special interest at the time, and I discovered that if you really dug into it, which I did because I was bored with my actual college work and happened to have access to a particularly good library and the balls to get into microfiche when necessary, there was an INSANE story of international travel, love, murder, social climbing, the very first American media circus trial, bigamy, possibly more murder, a knife that nobody ever described the same way twice, bad spelling, and some seriously ride-or-die brothers.

Seriously, this is my drunk history pick, and I'm just going to shit this out right now before bed time and without looking anything up or linking. I'll link on a reblog later tomorrow or something.

So, Sam and John were two of like 7+ kids, Sam being one of the younger ones. I kinda get the impression that Sam was always the "I'm playing around with stuff that goes boom" kid, and he got kicked out of a boarding school as a teen for blowing up their pond trying to invent a better naval mine (like a landmine, but in the water for blowing up boats).

He wasn't a gunsmith, but he had an idea for a better repeating firearm and got a bunch of people he knew, including several members of his large extended family, to invest in his business venture. Step 1 was to get patents for this gun design all over the world in preparation for being eligible for big arms contracts with multiple nations. (Step 3 absofuckinglutly was "profit" BTW, but there were some bumps in the road before that actually happened.)

So, Sam was like, 20 something on this big venture capital funded Grand Tour, because you had to physically go to each countries' patent office back then, and you had to take a ship between a lot of countries, so this was pretty time consuming and involved a lot of hanging out on fairly nice ocean liners for weeks at a time. And while on one of these long ocean voyages, Sam met a nice young German woman named Caroline Henshaw who he married. However, due to her heavy accent and possibly other reasons as well, the fact of Sam's marriage was kept quiet and not public knowledge.

Fast forward several years; Sam is now getting all up into Washington DC lobbying because now he's trying to get the US government to buy a shit ton of his guns, and of course there's political drama about that because there's always some drama about that kind of thing. Sam is enjoying going to dinner with important people. Sam is also making political enemies.

Meanwhile, his big brother John lives in NYC and had written a book. However, the publisher owed him money, so John confronted him about it. Nobody knows for sure what happened next, but at the end of it, the publisher was dead due to some blunt force trauma courtesy of John, who proceeded to try and cover up this fact by putting the body into a box and having it shipped to New Orleans. Or anyways that was the plan, but the ship the box was on was delayed and it was hot and the body smelled really bad so the whole thing was discovered and John's involvement became known.

Cue an absolute uproar of a trial, since the brother of this dude who's trying to get a government contract is accused of murdering a dude who owed him money. The press had an absolute field day as more salacious details came out... Like that unmarried John shared his house with an (apparently) unmarried woman; Caroline Henshaw. The trial was, as best as I could tell, a shitshow. Caroline gave birth during the trial (not like, in the courtroom tho), named her son "Samuel Colt Jr" and brought the infant to court. I never got my hands on the trial record itself, but the newspaper articles said that on the last day of the trial, the prosecution changed their position on what they said the murder weapon was, from being a paperweight or something, to being one of his brother's cutting edge guns he was trying to sell the government. Despite this kind of incompetent fuckery, the jury convicted John of murder, to his shock; John had maintained he had been acting in self defense and the killing was justified.

Between the time of conviction and his scheduled hanging, both Sam and Caroline visited John regularly in prison, and a day or two before the hanging, John married Caroline in a very small ceremony in his cell, witnessed by his brother Sam. The next day, before John was to be hanged, a fire broke out at the prison and kept everyone there occupied for several hours. When they got back to John's cell, they found a dead body of a man who apparently committed suicide by stabbing himself in the heart with a knife that is not consistently described. A hasty inquest was formed the next day, consisting entirely of people who had never met John in life, which concluded that the body was indeed John and had died of suicide.

Caroline Henshaw and son were thereafter financially supported by Samuel, who sent them to Europe for years and years. Multiple people thought they saw John in Texas years afterwards. Samuel married a good social climbing match, leveraging his wealth into class. He ever afterwards referred to the boy as "my nefu" complete with the quotation marks and atrocious spelling because Samuel Colt was unusually bad at spelling. Supposedly, when Samuel Colt died, Samuel Colt Jr showed up with his mother's marriage license to Samuel Colt and claimed his chunk of the estate, but I didn't get those legal documents either so I can't confirm that.

[drawingdreamsmp]

This is some thinking based on the “tales of the smp” thing Karl’s got going on!

Got some thoughts surrounding lore concepts, DEFINITELY rambling and not theorizing AT ALL

A lot of people support the idea that Dream is some kind of immortal, and I love that idea. I like to think he was a regular guy a very very long time ago, but some magic fuckery got involved when he tried to use an incomplete totem of undying, leaving him in a state of half death where —when he should die— he reverts to the form of a little wooden doll (the totem! Looks like his smiley face icon). It takes a lot of time for him to recover from this in which he is barely-conscious, unable to move or communicate or think much at all. It’s very boring and lonely so he will avoid it at all costs, hence why he nearly always keeps his armor on.

This adds a possibility for his relationship to George and Sapnap. They were probably friends in his original life, but died in the same accident that cost him his own life, but they didn’t have totems. This obviously bums Dream out once he finally heals and reverts from his doll form (nearly 20 years of lonely semi consciousness) to hear they died. He ends up finding a hunting party of two. This party has one archer with striking white goggles and one axe-wielding bandana-wearing man. He is overjoyed and runs up to greet them but they clearly don’t remember him. Sad stuff or whatever, they end up taking him in and becoming really good friends again. Dream tries to explain himself but they don’t really believe him until a few years pass and he always seems to know their favorite colors/foods/animals. Probably 5 years or so pass, and eventually history repeats itself and the other two die while Dream outlasts them before dying very shortly after.

At this point he notices a pattern where after around 20+ years of non-existence (sleep) he will wake up, meet a Sapnap and George, a few years will pass, they will get killed and he will die after. His Totem is kind of tied to their lives in which he will sleep until the time they met in his first life and die the same time in their life. Once they die, he can no longer maintain his physical form. Basically the only thing the totem does is let him keep his age of 21 and his memories, but when not with the others (either they are living their lives before they met him (George around 24 and Sapnap around 20) or dead (around 4-5 years after they meet Dream)) he’s asleep and alone.

The repercussions this has explains a lot of Dream’s current character. For example, his very apathetic attitude and love for chaos is because he’s seen it all before. Either trapped buried in the underbrush somewhere as a wooden doll or spending 4 years with his friends that he knows are fated to die has left him disenchanted with everything. History repeats itself and nothing is new anymore for someone that has no fear of eternal death. Chaos is at least entertaining.

Each death leaves him less connected to his own humanity but stronger as he grows closer to an immortal than a human. He notices he bleeds less when cut, he can last longer without food, his strength is unnatural, etc. Despite all of this, he can never protect his friends and, therefore, never avoid being trapped as a doll for a long time.

He wants to stop caring about George and Sapnap, but it never really works. He’s tried avoiding them, even fighting them, but they always end up together. This is part of the reason he removed the Kingship from George once he became targeted; he’s always trying to find a way to break the cycle and prevent their deaths. Currently this created a rift between them, but at this point Dream would rather have them alive them keep them as friends. The “I don’t care about anything” is not entirely a lie because there is almost nothing he does care about. Even George and Sapnap are somewhat expendable in his eyes when push comes to shove and he has no other way of avoiding it. He doesn’t want them to die and does all in his power to prevent it, but one can only see their friends die so many times knowing they’ll come back before becoming numb.

A few lil bonus thoughts

Dream can become the lil doll whenever he wants but can only turn back when Sapnap and George are alive. It’s not a trick he uses often.

He keeps his skills from the previous lives, only possibly growing a little bit rusty from so long asleep.

He’ll wake up in whatever he died in. He always keeps a dark green cloak on him to put over his regular clothes because he usually died in damaged/bloody clothing. Showing up as a stranger to town with clothes that show you were murdered in a past life is not a good idea

Sometimes George and Sapnap will know each other before meeting Dream, sometimes they wont. If it’s the latter case, the one that didn’t meet up with the other two will find the others nearly immediately

Occasionally Dream will spend a little longer as a totem even after meeting one of them because he can’t go back to normal after a death by choice. Once, George found him in the woods, thought he was a cool little figurine, and placed it on his shelf. It was a little shocking when he rushed into the kitchen after hearing a large crash to find a man with a cloak coated in blood but without wounds on the ground covered in everything from the kitchen shelf.

Sapnap is usually the one to meet him first and is the quicker to become friends with him. They both argue pretty frequently, what with them being so competitive, but it’s never serious. Dream likes to help Sapnap get better at fighting (partly because he wants a better sparring partner, partly because he wants him to be able to protect himself)

George is usually a bit more standoff-ish. Although they always end up as close friends, he’s pretty skeptical. The first few cycles of death when Dream tries to convince them they all used to know each other—before he basically gave up on that— George was always the last to believe him

Dream begins wearing a mask after he once was recognized while with George and Sapnap. They all knew one man in a town before they died, but obviously only Dream remembers of the three. When they return to the town maybe 20+ years later and the man is 20+ years older but sees the three of them all looking pretty much the same (Dream with a few new scars) he freaks the fuck out. He wears the mask whenever in public

(If you support the Karl time traveller concept then the mask also come in handy for that., avoiding recognition. The mask is made out of wood and always resets any damage upon Dreams death)

He usually goes by Dream with his friends, but if he does give a pseudonym it starts with a “C” (Clay, Cornelius, etc.)

Technoblade is also an immortal after some nether mishap (I mean.. he’s basically a piglin so it fits) and is around the same age as Dream. But where Dream is an immortal that dies but it never lasts, ‘Technoblade never dies.’ They never ended up crossing paths, but Dream has always wanted to test that theory after hearing rumors about him

Part of the reason he’s so manipulative is because of the time he spends as a doll and the inability to change his and his friends fate. In both situations he has no control over the situation, leading to him becoming a bit of a control freak in the current day. He also got used to lying and controlling his tone when questions about his identity became frequent

He has a little bit of arrogance from his many years of watching humanity make the same mistakes over an over again. At this point, he barely considers himself human, something better. He’s been caught a few times using language that makes him sound not human

I like the idea that Sapnap has some kind of fire ability. Whether he’s always had an elemental affinity or if it’s a result of the loop he and the others are stuck in is up for debate. Maybe it was natural but strengthened with every death he’s gone through.

While the totem and subsequent deaths have severely distanced Dream from being a human, Sapnap and George are mostly the same. Sometimes they’ll get glimpses of memories of the past, find that they are naturally really good at something they’ve never practiced, and are a little more in tune with Dream’s unnaturalness. It comes from knowing him and from being connected through the cycle, seeing his restless soul breaking through the cracks of his undying body

Dream has a tiny bit of a jealous streak stemming from the fact that —at least to him— they’ve been friends for a very long time. Others could hurt them or take them away and that’s the last thing he wants. They’re his connection to humanity and are usually the ones to bring out the most positive emotion from him

Bad (badboyhalo) has mentioned he likes the theory that while Bad has unlimited lives, his soul is bound to Skeppy’s. If Skeppy dies, he dies. Based on that, Dream has seen Bad a few times over the many years and he’s the only other person really close to Dream. As a Demon he is functionally immortal frequently checks on Dream when he can. He can see Dream slipping further away from Human but doesn’t make an effort to stop it. After all, Bad isn’t human but he’s fine so it’s not really a problem.

Dream has approached Bad about breaking the cycle as his situation (soul tied to humans, and currently Skeppy) is similar to his own (soul tied to totem as is Sapnap’s and George’s). Unfortunately Bad doesn’t really have advice but does try to help somewhat. George and Sapnap don’t usually recognize Bad when they come back, but they do have a trust in him unnatural for regular humans to possess when MEETING A DEMON.

Dream has somewhat dropped his focus on ending the cycle. Not only has hundreds of years not provided a solution, he has grown to like his newfound power and immortality. He does want to end the curse of death on George and Sapnap that leads to him becoming a doll, but if that cost him his power, he might not go through with it

Thank you for reading! Be sure to ask questions about anything if you have them because I’d love to explore this idea :D