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cheeeeseburger · 5 months ago

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Sweet like tiramisu, bitter like coffee Part 1

Part 2 Part 3

Lance Stroll x Reader

Masterlist

A/N: I don't know how I feel about this one, but I wrote it in honour of the Canadian GP! English is not my first language, apologies for the mistakes!

“Lance, I think you should call security. Look who’s here!” Your older brother pointed at you, acting like you were some kind of crazy fan who sneaked in.

You glanced at your brother “They really let you in? Even with your ugly face? It’s going to be bad for their PR, I tell you.” He only sticked his tongue out to you in response.

“Hey, kid,” Lance simply said.

You grinned at Lance, and when he smiled back, it was like you were fourteen again, trying to impress him when skiing at the Mont Tremblant, sneaking glances at him. Gosh, he still had that boyish look that used to make you stutter in front of him.

“Salut, Lance. It’s been a while” you said. He pulled you closed to give you a kiss on each cheek. He smelled like that one hoodie of his that he gave you years ago when you were cold at La Ronde. Embarrassingly, you still wear it sometimes, probably more than you should.

“I know, you’ve changed, kid. You used to be so small. I guess you grew up, huh?”

To prove his point, you gave him a little spin, with your sundress flowing around your thighs. Lance looked at you up and down, noticing that you had grew in all the right places. He flushed a little.

“I guess I did,” you answered, looking right into his eyes. For once, it was him who seemed more affected by your interaction. Your cheeks were only coloured a light pink, a clear amelioration from the tomato look you used to rock whenever you talked to Lance.

Your brother put a stop to the moment you two shared. “Alright, quit showing off. She is still the same as before, only without the braces. Don’t be fooled, Lance, she is still an airhead.” You smacked him on the arm. “An airhead with a uni degree, dumbass. You’re a college dropout.”

That was a low blow, but still, your brother deserved it. You got a middle finger in response. Lance chuckled, seeing that you hadn’t changed completely.

“You’re still as quick as you were before, kid,” he said, laughing. “What’s your degree in? Engineering, right?”

“Yeah, I just graduated in mechanical engineering. But I’m starting my master in the fall, at McGill.”

He looked impressed at your degree and at the famous Montreal school you attended. “Damn kid, you’re not the type to take it easy, huh? Unlike your lazy ass brother over there.” He lightly punched him on his arm. Your brother pretended to be offended. “Come on guys, do I really deserve all this verbal abuse?”

He saw you laugh, and decided he could not let that slide. “You, shut up, or I’ll tell Lance you had his picture in your locker in high school.”

You gasped. Oh no he didn’t.

Lance laughed, blushing a little. “That’s cute. What about college? Do you have a picture of me at McGill?” He looked way too smug.

This was bad. Very bad. Still, was he just flirting with you?

At the same time, his father entered the paddock. You jumped at the opportunity to change the subject.

“Lawrence, mon Stroll préféré!” You smiled at him. The older man opened his arm to give you a hug.

“Mon sucre d’orge, how are you?” He always had the best hug, making you feel safe and loved.

Lawrence Stroll was like an uncle to you, a father even. Your family and the Stroll family were very close, and you grew up side by side with the Stroll children, even though you were a few years younger than them. You went skiing together during the winter break. You went on vacations together. Your summers were filled with meals at each other house, and you ended up begging to sleepover every single time. To this day, the smell of chlorine always takes you back to endless afternoons spent playing in the pool at the Stroll house.

“I’m doing great, I’m happy to be here!” you replied. You had seen the man only a few weeks earlier, at your graduation dinner, so there wasn’t much catching up to do.

Lawrence exclaimed: “Mon sucre d’orge, you should be at every races! After you finish your master, you should work for us!”

You beamed at the man: “I would like that very much.” It’s true, you would love it. And you had the degree for it.

“So would I. And I wouldn’t be the only one,” he added in a whisper, gesturing towards Lance.

You turned a deep shade of red. Typical you. Lawrence always knew you had a thing for his son. Luckily, Lance did not look like he had heard what his father just said. If he did, you’d have to leave Montreal to live in a country where there are no races.

You brother shook hands with Lawrence, talking for a while. You listened with one ear, too busy sneaking glances at Lance. He was doing the same thing, admiring the silhouette that your dress gave you, the way your hair was framing your face, your slightly parted lips. He surprised himself and started daydreaming about how it would feel to push you against the wall, lifting one of your legs while he stunned you with kisses all over your face.

Lance was pulled out of his fantasy when your brother said it was time to go.

“Bonne chance, Lance,” you wished him good luck shyly, then followed your brother out of the paddock. Oh, your massive crush was so back.

He watched you leave, mesmerized by you, your presence, the way you carry yourself. You were no longer an awkward teen, but a beautiful young woman.

“Poor girl. You know she had a crush on you for years, right? Good on her for moving on.” Lawrence said to his son, sighing. “She really has a heart of gold, and she’s way too bright for her own good. The man who will have her heart will be a lucky man. A very lucky man indeed.”

Later during the day, you received a message from Lance. This was unusual. The last time he had texted you was to wish you a happy birthday three months ago.

Hey kid, it’s me.

You replied quickly, not wanting to bother with pretending to be too busy to answer. When it came to Lance, you were too weak to play hard to get. Also, this afternoon was the first time he had shown signs that he did not see you as your brother's sister, but as a pretty girl. You would be a fool not to jump at the opportunity, if the opportunity came.

Hi, what’s up?

Have you eaten yet?

Yeah, why?

Let me bring you some desert.

What???

Text me your address. Nvm I got it.

Lance, what’s going on?

He didn’t answer after that. Realizing that he was probably on his way, you started tidying up your appartement. It was pretty neat already though, so you mostly did it to distract you. From the corner of your eye, you saw his hoodie and quickly threw it in your wardrobe. If he did come to your place, this was the kind of things that he should not see, like your F1 calendar from last year that was still hung up to the month of January, because he was the picture of the month. But why the hell would Lance show up at your door?

A knock on the door made you jump. You opened it to find Lance on your doorstep, carrying a bag.

“Hey, I brought you a sweet treat”, he announced, letting himself in. You were too shocked to speak. Chat, is this real? He noticed your appearance. You were wearing a silk nightgown. “Are you ready for bed already?” he asked, confused.

Finally, he seemed real enough for you to gain back the ability to speak.

“Uhhh, yeah?”

“What are you, 90? It’s not even 9 yet!”

“So what? I like to be comfortable,” you responded, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

He stared at you and your short nightgown, letting his gaze linger on the sight that was the strap sliding of your left shoulder. He wanted to leave a kiss on that exact spot.

“No, no, you’re good, I just expected you to be ready to go out or something,” he said laughing, while walking in your apartment. “You got a nice place.”

“Thanks,” you replied. “Why did you expect me to go out?” You followed him around in your apartment. It was weird to see him there, but he looked so good in his Boss hoodie that you let it slide for now.

“Gee, uh, I don’t know, maybe because it’s a Thursday night and you’re young and in Montreal?” he answered like you had asked the dumbest question. He finally settled in your kitchen, leaving the box he was carrying on the counter. “Where are your plates?”

“Over here,” you opened the cabinet door at the same time he made a move to grab the doorknob, leaving him towering over you. The last time the two of you had been so close was before puberty. Internally, you were screaming. He grabbed two plates.

“What did you bring? And what are you doing here?” you asked, trying to hide the affect that his proximity had on you. “And I do go out, sometimes.”

“Having dinner with my dad and your parents doesn’t count. I bought you your favourite tiramisu, from that Italian restaurant you always dragged us to when we were kids.”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Don’t worry, I do go out to shake my ass.” He raised an eyebrow at that, his eyes widening a little. You hoped he was imagining you in a tight dress, dancing in the club. You got out two spoons and a knife out of your cutlery drawer. “Thanks for the sweet treat, but why though?”

Lance opened the box to reveal a gorgeous tiramisu. He was right, this dessert really was your favourite, specifically the recipe they used at this restaurant. You both sat on the stools hidden underneath your countertop. “Can’t a guy do something nice?” he said sarcastically.

You looked at him, crossing your arms over your chest. “Lance, come on, be for real. We haven’t seen each other in years, then you show up unannounced at my place.” You cut the dessert and placed it on your respective plates.

He put his hand in the air: “What! I have no bad intentions, I swear. I just thought you could use some sugar.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. Against your wish, you let out a small moan as you took your first bite out of the tiramisu. It really was that good. You turned beet red and surprisingly, so did he. Cute.

“Lance, you know I used to have a crush on you, right? But that was years ago, so if you expect me to fall at your feet and sleep with you, you’re in the wrong place, buddy.” This was a lie. He could have you anywhere he wanted, and you would say thank you.

His eyes shuttered a little when he took his first bite. “I’m flattered that you used to have a crush on me, but also a little insulted. How come you don’t have one right now? And is your opinion of me so low that you believe I could really use you like that?” He really did look insulted.

You took another bite of the tiramisu, this time fulling embracing the moan coming out of your mouth. He looked positively flushed now.

“Lance, I saw the way you looked at me earlier. It was like you finally realized I was a grown woman now.”

He took a bite, and he let his head fall back a little. So two can play this game. You were feeling hot all over. It was like a tennis match between the two of you, a duel. All of this over a sweet treat.

“It’s true that you made quite the impression on me earlier. It must be the lack of braces,” he said sarcastically.

You made a show of licking your spoon when you finished your portion. He looked jealous of the spoon.The ball is in your court, sir.

“Oh really? It wasn’t my curves that my dress showed off nicely, or how long my legs looked with those heels? It’s weird, every other guy there seemed to notice my body. I even got the number of an engineer. I think I’m going to go out with him, I might even sleep with him, all that good stuff.” The look on his face was priceless.

It seems you had won this round. He didn’t touch his tiramisu, only bit his bottom lip. He was blushing hard but wanted to maintain his poker face.

“None of these things crossed my mind,” he answered, though it was a very obviously fake answer. He seemed to be having trouble breathing. It was very good for your ego. If your seventeen years old self could see you right now, she’d be proud.

You hit him with quite the shot when you picked up some tiramisu with your spoon off his plate. The simple gesture had quite the effect on him. His gaze followed your spoon from his plate to your mouth. In your face, sir.

“That’s too bad. I wanted you to notice them,” you said innocently.

He did not take this shot well, and immediately went into attack mode. He pulled your stool closer to his and started massaging your calf. He was not playing anymore.

“Don’t worry, kid, I can see them very clearly now.” He stared at you and the generous cleavage your nightdress gave you. The innuendo in his eyes was very clear. You could cut the tension in the room with the same knife you had cut the dessert with.

You moaned softly. This time, it had nothing to do with the tiramisu, and everything to do with the way his hand was slowly getting higher and higher on your leg. Yeah, it was over. He definitely won the match.

You looked at his eyes, which were now a nice shade of bedroom eyes. You felt all the hesitation you had leave your body, and so did your judgement.

“Lance. I really want to have sex with you right now.” How embarrassing to say this out loud. But it wasn't your fault, really. His face and the tiramisu were a deadly combo.

He smirked at your admission. “I thought you said I shouldn’t expect to sleep with you earlier.”

You responded quickly. “Screw what I said. Wait, no, screw me instead,” you leaned from your stool to pull his hoodie off.

He let you take it off, but he was wearing a shirt underneath. He smirked. “In a hurry?”

“Yeah, and for a guy that drives fast for a living, you’re slow as hell.” He laughed at that, and you took off his shirt too. It was sight to be seen. Niagara Falls is nothing compared to Lance Stroll shirtless. He should be on Canadian postcards instead of Lake Louise.

“Don’t worry kid, I can go fast if need be.” You were getting very turned on, and he had not even made a move yet. “So that means you’ll sleep with me?” You leaned to give him kisses all over his neck. 10 years of wanting him made you desperate like that. He shivered at your touch, and he felt your smile against his neck. How flattering to get a reaction out of him. He gently lifted you off your stool and picked up you like a doll so you could sit on his lap. You immediately resumed your activity and went back to kiss his neck, occasionally leaving a mark.

“You seem to want it so bad, and I wouldn’t want to disappoint you. Our friendship means the world to me,” he said, teasing you.

“Uh uh. Can we add “with benefits” to the title of our friendship? Because I really want to get to the benefits right now.” You said in between hickeys. He was holding your waist to keep you close. How you both fitted on that tiny little stool, you had no idea, but this stool was now considered blessed in your mind.

“Since you asked so nicely. Your brother told me you had a boyfriend though.” His grip on you tightened.

“He’s not my boyfriend, and I don’t care about him. He’s probably in a bar somewhere, talking to other women, which is fine, since we are not together.” It was his turn to give you attention. He made a trail of kisses all over your neck and jaw, stopping near the corner of your mouth.

“That’s good. Do you have sex with him sometimes?” he asked possessively, which was very unlike him. Lance had never shown an interest in you, and he now wanted to know who you were sleeping with.

“Yeah.” It’s hard to form complete sentences when your crush of the last 10 years is busy leaving marks all over your neck.

“Is he any good to you?” He stopped to look you in the eyes, but kept you distracted by playing with the strap of your nightdress.

“I guess. But I hope you will change my opinion of what is good sex and what is bad sex.” You put your hands behind his neck and started kissing him. It quickly turned into a make out session. He tasted like tiramisu. This was an Oscar worthy kiss. A painting should be made to commemorate the moment. A page in history books should be dedicated to it. Still kissing you, Lance stood up and lifted you with him.

“Where’s your bedroom?” You must have done something good recently. You felt like one of God’s favourites.

You did not sound like yourself when you answered, “The next door to your right.” It was a very surreal moment. He opened the door and gently put you down on your bed. He was standing up, shirtless, and it looked a lot like the teenage fantasy of him you had for years.

Your hair was spread all over the pillow, and your nightdress had ridden up. Playboy magazine would have loved you back in the days. “You’re gorgeous. You look like an angel,” Lance said. “How come I’ve never noticed it before?”

You blushed. “You were too busy thinking of me as a sister.” Your propped yourself on your elbows to get a better look at him. The sight took your breath away. “Don’t move, I’m taking a mental picture of you. You look so fucking hot right now.”

It was his turn to blush. “Thanks.” He pulled you by your ankles so you could sit on the edge of the bed. He then got on his knees, and ladies and gents, that nearly did it for you. You felt very, very hot. His hand slid under your nightdress so he could take of your underwear. It was hard to remember to breathe.

“Gosh, are we in porn movie or something? No guy has ever gotten on his knees for me before, but they sure as hell expect me to.” You said, laughing in embarrassment at your lack of experience.

“Boys are stupid.” All of Montreal probably heard you when he first touched you with his tongue. It was too much: his touch, the sight of him between your thighs, the grunts he made, you had to grip the sheets to stay still. By the noises he made, he seemed to enjoy himself too.

It took an embarrassing short amount of time for you to shake and scream in pleasure. No guy had ever made you come so quickly, and it had never felt as good. Sadly, it would probably never feel so good ever again. He got out from your nightdress and smirked when he saw you panting.

“You’re the one out of breath, huh?” He licked his lips, and you nearly came again.

“Shut up” was all you had to say. Lance laughed: “Real mature.” He once again took you by the ankles, this time to push you back to the center of the bed. He got on top of you.

“Is this the part where you get inside of me?” He smiled. “You’re so eager. It’s cute. The Aston Martin cap you have is cute too,” he said, referencing the baseball cap on your dresser.

“It’s for Alonso,” you replied, blushing. Lance smirked and whispered in your ear “Yeah, right.” He started kissing your jawline. The whole block probably heard you moaning. Having him on top of you felt so good. Your nails were probably hurting him from how hard you were gripping his back, but he didn’t complain. “Too bad it’s not him in your bed right now.” You shut him up with a kiss.

“Please, Lance, you have to get in me,” you whined. You unzipped his pants and palmed him. “Please, please, please.” He was making pained noises too, and he got out a condom from his pocket. So he had come to your place expecting to get laid. You decided to put the thought aside for now.

You stopped thinking anyway the second he got inside of you. The feeling was nearly overwhelming, and every time he moved, you couldn’t help but moan.

“Lance, goddam, why didn’t we do this earlier?” you asked between screams. He seemed pleased. You arched your back and it was his turn to let out grunts. “Well, we’re doing it now,” he sounded in pain.

“You’re going to ruin me for every other guy”, you complained. Not long after, Montreal heard you scream his name as you came undone for the second time that evening. He copied you a short while later. Both of you were panting, too stunned by what just happened. It was definitely the best sex of your life, but you were too shy to ask him if it was any good. You hoped it was.

You were just about to ask him if he wanted to spend the night when he suddenly got up.

“What are you doing?” you asked, confused. He pulled his pants back up and zipped them. “I gotta go. Don’t tell anyone we did this.” You pulled yourself to sit against your headboard. You wanted to cry. “Are you serious?”

All he said was: “Yeah, I am. I’ll see you around.” And he left, leaving you speechless in the bed where he just had you. When you heard the door close on his way out, you broke down in tears. How could he be so cruel? He had just used you, ruining years of friendship for this. You felt hurt and humiliated.

After a few minutes of crying hysterically, you suddenly could not stand having his smell on your sheets. It was nearly midnight, but you started ripping them off your bed, and you threw them in the washing machine. There were signs of his passage everywhere in your apartment, and it hurt too bad. You started cleaning manically, from scrubbing the floor to washing your entire silverware. After, it was you who needed to be rid of him. His touch lingered on your skin. You scrubbed your skin until it turned red and shampooed your hair about 5 times. As expected, you broke down crying in the shower. Lance was your friend; he had been since you were kids. Did none of that matter? Were you just a quick fuck to him? A one-night stand that did not even last a night?

You didn’t recognize him. He was such a kind soul. How could you ever face him again? And the fact that he asked you to not tell anyone? The worst thing is, you knew you would never tell anyone, because the humiliation would be too bad.

Eventually, you passed out in exhaustion on the couch. You had to attend the whole weekend, otherwise it would be suspicious, since people expected you to be there. You put on your best dresses, your brave face and you showed up Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. You talked with Lawrence, hanged out with your brother and some friends, you even made small talk with some of the drivers. Your heart hurt like a bitch the whole time, but at least you managed to avoid Lance. That engineer who gave you his number came to see you again, and you made plans for later in the week. Any distraction was welcome.

By the late afternoon on Sunday, you had had enough. You felt tired, heartsick and exhausted after a weekend of fake smiling. Leaving was the only thing you wanted to do. Perhaps you should book a vacation, give your heart a break. Or at least get extremely drunk with your friends. Maybe do both.

You were hiding in a corner, waiting for your brother when a shadow appeared. It was Lance, of course, towering over you. Immediately, your heart started beating fast. Stupid heart. His hair was all ruffled and he was sweating lightly. He had the same look when he was on his knees for you.

“Hey, kid,” he sounded so casual, like nothing had happened between the two of you, like he didn’t have half of your heart.

“Allô. Good job on the race today.” You hoped your voice was not trembling. You did not even attempt to look at him in the eyes, afraid of revealing your pain. The guy you had liked for years made you feel wanted then crushed you in a matter of hours. Of course, that didn’t seem to matter to him.

He put his hand under your chin to force you to look at him, then caressed your cheek with his thumb. “Thanks. Listen, I hope you did not expect anything more than what we did last night. I’m leaving Montreal soon anyway.” Tears started to sting your eyes, but you tried your best to hide them, but Lance was not a fool.

“Not at all. This was just a one-time thing.” You smiled, but tears were running down your cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumb.

“You’re cute when you lie. I’ll see you around.” Lance kissed your cheek, then left you in shock, hiding in the corner. His gaze did not betray any sign of regrets. Your heart was shattered in million tiny pieces that he could crush between two fingers. It was cut into bite-size pieces that he could eat, like that damn tiramisu.

That night, you went home and tried to drown any thoughts of him with ice cream and sad music. It did not work.

A few glasses of wine in, your phone buzzed. It was the man of the hour.

I’ll be at your place in 10.

Against your better judgement, you opened the door to him in your cutest nightdress with mascara tears running down your face. He didn’t bother with tiramisu this time. Nor did he the next time. And the next time.

To be used by him was better than not having him at all.

#f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #formula 1 #lance stroll #canadian gp 2024

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cryptidize · 3 months ago

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So lately, I've been job searching again. Not a surprise, I know... I'm usually looking for something new at least once a year or so. But the reason is because I keep leaping from sinking ship to sinking ship - every job, both corporate and small business, has been failing spectacularly in some way.

I won't be talking about specifics, but let me mention some themes I notice to determine whether a job is going under.

1.) Labor Violations

Of course, this is always a red flag. If they tell you not to discuss pay with coworkers, this is a labor violation. There are many protections you have as an individual who works. These protections are not taught in school, nor college, nor by your families, so it's good to become familiar with your rights. You may even discover after reading this that your rights are being violated. If you find that is the truth, please see the Department of Labor and their process for reporting this violation. You may receive additional compensation for doing so, simply because of the violation.

2.) The Invisible Growth

Some jobs will claim they're the "fastest growing" xyz in the industry. Some places will claim they've had to expand their facilities, their workload, their staff. Growth is not always a bad thing, but once you're there, you may notice their pitfalls. Maybe their facility is in disrepair with a leaky roof. Maybe their workload increased, but not workers and pay. Maybe they're margin pinching about cleaning products. These are cause for some alarm, simply because they are growing, but not sustaining. Not ensuring every growth move is accompanied by standard procedures and improving work conditions can be damning in the future. The enshittification of business.

3.) Confusing Time Off

Some businesses will make language around time off confusing. Where I work currently, we have PTO (Personal Time Off), VTO (Voluntary Time Off) and VTO (Vacation Time Off). Personal and Voluntary are not paid. You cannot use either of these methods until after your 90 days. AFTER 1 YEAR, you earn Vacation time. When this was originally pitched to me, personal time was a replacement for sick time, but they conveniently left out that I wouldn't be compensated. I also have to let them know 2 weeks in advance for every day I use, and 6 weeks in advance to take Vacation Time longer than 1 day. Places do this in order to give the illusion of having a work/life balance.

4.) No Experts

Certain jobs (warehouses come to mind) have a high turn-over for all positions except management. When this happens, you start to run dry on expertise. Workers tend to talk and ask each other questions. This is a normal behavior in jobs, especially if training is brief or lacking in areas, but if no one is knowledgeable on the work they're doing, wrong/incomplete knowledge is being passed around. The main way i can diagnose this issue is within a business' IT Team. How many people do they have for every computer? Is it just one guy with an engineering degree? How often is the technology updated or cleaned? The laptops at my work are being charged with Nintendo Switch chargers and killed slowly because we have 1 guy with an engineering degree doing all the general IT and it Sucks. This is a symptom of the turnover.

I know this may seem like a random post, but now more than ever, businesses are violating our rights and protections, as well as our kindness as people. I'm tired of it! Unionizing is great, I love to see people banding together, but individuals have power too! You have every right to complain to the labor board! You can fight for your rights with or without a team! I wish you luck!

#talking #update #tech talk #business #labor rights #worker rights #unionize

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avissapiens · 11 months ago

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Jockbull Summer Week 4 Set B (3/12/23-10/12/23)

Model Used is Oliver Forslin.

I’m not adhering to this one as strictly. Maybe that’s not what abg intended but oh well. I’m more so expanding its scope to be more about risque clothing choices in general. On that front I made perhaps the stupid purchase of a thrifted Wrestling singlet. But damn it feels so good and tight on my skin. But i’m way too tall for it so the cut looks ridiculous.(Buff, hypnotic, AND tall. Swoon more.) Maybe when I'm more shredded I’ll be able to wear it more unabashedly.

Maybe I should start offering a combo Hypno-workout routine. Or maybe an archetype centric workout split to enhance and build certain aesthetics. I wonder if anyone would pay for that.

Got one in and because of the nature of weeks and spacing out my rest days the next one would be Monday of the week that i’m posting these. I’ll only take the cals from this week to be consistent so that's 700 calories burnt, while on a fast.

Focusing the dropsets on pull day has been insane. I know it’s not likely but my arms already feel bigger. 17.5 inches. The peak that I've been missing all this time is finally starting to show through. Fuck the degree. I’d drain every course I took this year from my head (except Bio 206, 205 and 395) if it meant I could get some extra inches on these fucking pythons.

First tumblr pic incoming. Try to contain yourselves(don’t contain shit. Go wild brahs)

#JBS #Jockbull Summer #jock #bull

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madsmilfelsen · 7 months ago

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20 questions for fic writers

tagged by @thenookienostradamus, quyanaa!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 22 :)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 237, 409, yeehaw!

3. What fandoms do you write for? Magic Mike (allegedly), Always Sunny (allegedly), Killer Joe, True Detective (season one, I get too weepy if I think about season four too long but someday!), Midnight Mass, Shadow & Bone, Tell Me Your Secrets, Loki, and I've got an original work snuck in there, too

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments? Typically! I have a habit of hoarding my favorites in my inbox so if I take a week or three months to answer you it's because I've been thinking about kissing you on the mouth. Comments really make my day so I do my best to show gratitude to those who take the time to make them.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Maybe Sinhound? I don't set out to write angst.................. ever, but ending with Mildred's funeral wasn't what I was expecting either.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them :) I'm a sucker for love and happy endings :)))))

8. Do you get hate on fics? no and that gets more and more shocking each time I post a new work lately as my ao3 becomes a pit of depravity while I work through everything I can't put in my novel manuscript.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? hell yeah fuck yeah. I like playing in varying degrees of consent, unhealthy or unbalanced dynamics, girls who come too fast and have weird relationships with sex, yada yada. I have a really supportive husband who I am disgustingly, deeply in love with so a lot of genuine warm and fuzzy feelings for one old man in particular generates a lot of material.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I simply don't have the mind processes for it and admire those who can mix media like that.

11. free space / no question here, send me an ask with one instead please :)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not that I know of! would be awfully neat though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Oh man, I had a fun star wars piece I was writing with my dear friend, Jess, when impostor syndrome struck too hard to finish-- I still have the embroidery she did of our title (the inverse must also be true) in my office hanging below my first rejection letter :)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? every goblin couple that make out nasty style, so uh, rust/sugar :( they're so special to me and pulled me out of a Hellacious writer's block

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? My only wip is Sunday School Dropout because I sort of forgot where I was going with it, it'll come back with light voyeurism, blood drinking, virginity taking, the usual order

16. What are your writing strengths? I feel like this is question to really sell myself but honestly, hell if I know, creating place? mannerisms maybe? Beyond my general insecurities, some of the nicest compliments I've gotten are for things I did unintentionally so hard to say! I have crafted some fuckin nonlinear bangers I'll give myself that much.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAINTAIN TENSE and I HAVE NO WORKING KNOWLEDGE OF SENTENCE STRUCTURES, which annoy me and are my father's biggest complaints so I can't take them seriously enough to consciously attempt to improve on them yet. Lately, I've been smoking weed and flipping vocabulary flashcards before bed because my diction feels stagnant, a bit repetitive across pieces like.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I can't even speak english well enough to write coherently I'm not going to fuck up further with google translate. I did some ballet au's a few years back that I know have some french in it but I think I did a firmly okay job with the sprinkles of dialogue-- I know damn well my terminology is correct.

19. First fandom you wrote for? technically game of thrones, I have a sansa/sandor reunion very angrily tapped out in my notes app when season eight skipped it. The first work I posted was Seduction of Odile after I saw a post here about the potential of a rey/kylo blackswan au, reached out and asked if I could give it a try and here I am 22 works and years later :)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? I'm going to be corny but I have a soft spot for every fic that connected me with other writers who are so talented and inspiring and force me to be better so I feel like I can talk to them lmao

tagging tagging tagging @the-heartlines @labyrinthphanlivingafacade @littleredwritingcat @abeadofpoison @teeth-ing @itstendereye @barbie-nightmare-house

#it's spring and there is rain on my metal roof and peepers peeping in the swamp #i'm v happy and the will to write is strong again :)#mads levshakoff

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cosmogyros · 5 months ago

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I have become SUCH a summer person in recent years 🥰 Amazing what a difference it makes when you no longer live in the bowels of Hell a.k.a. the American South. Notes on these pics go counter-clockwise from the upper right.

1. Me venturing forth this evening in the 34-degree heat to go pick up an Überraschungstüte from a local Turkish bakery. What's an Überraschungstüte? I'm glad you asked. This is not a paid advertisement, but you should all be using the app TooGoodToGo. At the end of every day, bakeries and other food shops that need to make their products fresh every day can sell the day's leftovers cheap through this app. Überraschungstüte means "surprise bag" - you don't know what you're going to get. Today I paid 4 euros and got a gigantic bag of fresh baked goods: five croissants, four gigantic simits, and this lil pastry you see in picture 2. Popped most of it in the freezer, and there's my breakfasts for the next week taken care of.

2. I FOUND THEM. Y'ALL. I found what I've been looking for in Germany for YEARS: heirloom tomatoes. Yes, the lumpy ugly kind that tastes so damn good you'll never want to eat a normal tomato again. Tell me why we bred all the yumminess out of tomatoes merely in order to make them uniformly round and red?! People are strange. Anyway, this was my dinner tonight: a glass of rosé, a fragrant Turkish savory pastry from my Überraschungstüte, and a big fat heirloom tomato chopped up and topped with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and sea salt. Pure ecstasy.

3. My summer drink this year is the raspberry lime rickey. Put a bit of lime juice in a glass, add some raspberry syrup and fill it up the rest of the way with sparkling water. Personally I like to add some frozen raspberries too. It's soooooo tasty and refreshing on these hot days.

4. I adore my Sappho bag. I take it with me everywhere. For those who can't see, it says "Become a voice." It's my very subtle queer rep when I'm out and about.

#personal #cosmo gyres #a day in the life #tag 4 #tag 5 #food #my face

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piratewithvigor · 1 year ago

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Regal The Professional: Chapter 3

It's not professional to steal dope from crooked cops and it's not professional to turn away an offered favor. Leon The Professional AU but make it found family

AO3

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

The mattress never had any kind of blankets on it when Regal moved in. None of the beds he’d ever seen in any of the apartments he’d ever lived in actually did. It didn’t change the fact that buying and carrying around a blanket from apartment to apartment was far more trouble than it would be worth. It isn’t as though he sleeps much anyway. The bed is far more useful for a morning exercise regimen. A truck strap thrown across it and tightened against his feet gives him an ideal spot to start with sit ups. Certainly a better place for a workout than a good night’s sleep.

Next door, Trent’s alarm is finally sounding for 8am. He’s got four entire hours left to come up with the missing 10%. Impossible, of course, it was half snorted away by the end of the first week. Now it was just the leftovers and the last little bit that he’d cut two days before. That had probably gotten a little snorted this morning. Just a final extra hundred in his pocket. And probably the tenth percent. In short, the entirety of the missing shipment was gone and unless he could convince Jericho that he had a faulty machine, it was going to stay firmly and completely gone. That was the story Jericho was gonna get, anyway. Maybe fessing up a little would get him off a bit easier.

The bed’s empty when he pushes up and out of it. Chuck in the washroom, getting ready for work, most likely, and Orange probably still passed out in front of the TV after the night before. Same as usual. The apartment never feels big enough in the mornings, with everyone running around everywhere. It’s only gotten smaller since the kids came around. The boarding school was supposed to solve half the problems, but with this extensive nighttime closure, it’s practically all back to normal anyway. Wheeler’s still around, watching cartoons for most of the day, definitely not doing shit around the house. And Kris still makes a mess wherever she goes even though she’s four now and should damn well know better.

Breakfast is always the worst. Everyone’s trying to use the kitchen at the same time, getting in each other’s way. Trent just wants his coffee and a smoke while a pop tart warms. Always a massive favor to ask when the kids are toasting their own things. God forbid they just have a bowl of cereal from time to time. Trent’s still grumbling to himself between the bedroom and the kitchen when the bathroom door swings open, almost nailing him in the face.

“Sorry, babe!” Chuck singsongs, far too chipper for this time of day. He’s already a snifter in and will probably take another right before he leaves for the diner. He’s insisted that until he gets a lower-stress job, a light rail is the only thing that’s gonna get him perky enough to get tips. Trent can’t argue it, but he is pretty sure that if Chuck just quit, they’d be saving whatever he loses in tips. It just isn’t a fight Trent wants to have when Chuck is the only one with a steady, legal job. Steady being he’s kept it for six straight months, a record since they’d all met.

Certainly longer than Orange has kept one. He supposedly has a degree for some high-paying job, but if he does, Trent’s never seen the benefits from it. And very rarely sees Orange actually have a job besides showing up in the news as part of editorials on rising public drunkenness. Never arrested for it, thank god, but he’s been cutting it closer and closer every day. He always ends up back at home, slung across the couch, wearing his sunglasses, as if he’s fooling anyone. He might pretend he’s fooling the kids, but there’s no way the two of them are actually that dumb.

He can turn it down quietly enough that it won’t wake Orange, Wheeler’s certain. The TV is never usually that loud anyway. He can turn it on and make sure it’s quiet enough that Orange doesn’t get disturbed. He just has to be quick.

He doesn’t usually get this chance. The remote almost always stays on top of the set with no way of reaching it without passing by Orange, usually waking him up and always pissing him off. But someone left it on the table. The one that just so happens to face the TV. He can watch something with breakfast, anything would be more entertaining than plain toast. No butter again, since Chuck forgot to pick it up. No juice, either. Just the stuff for coffee and Trent’s pop tarts that he would probably kill to defend. Toast is just safer, even if it’s boring. Even Kris agrees from her spot at the table. Wheeler can tell she wants to ask for butter, or maybe even jam, but she knows better; if they had any, Wheeler would have offered. He’s a good brother that way.

“Oh Chuckie… think I really blew it this time,” Trent mumbles from behind Chuck at the bathroom sink.

“Mm. Wouldn’t be the first time.” He’s still too chipper. Maybe he shouldn’t be giving Chuck so much in the mornings. “But you’ll come up with a way to fix this, you always do.”

“Might have actually gone too far this time. Think the only way to soothe my nerves is a quickie…” Chuck may hate his job at the diner, but the uniform’s pants look damn good on him.

“You’re going too far right now, you’re gonna make me cut myself,” Chuck pouts, trying to steady his hand to retaliate against Trent’s groping. “Can’t settle bleeding and get to work on time.”

“Just work from home today…”

Tempting offer. And on coke, a quickie doesn’t take quite as long as fixing a cut…

Wheeler’s practiced the muscle memory on the remote over and over. Power, then volume down as fast as he can. It’s two buttons, there and back. He can turn the volume down before the picture even fully comes in. Kris is watching with just as much anticipation as Wheeler takes the plunge and presses Power. The box is just heating up as he rapid-presses, faster than he’s ever even pressed a crosswalk button. Unfortunately, pressing the volume up. Especially unfortunately, on Transformers. On a fight scene, to boot. Orange pops up from the couch before Wheeler can even attempt to figure out where he made the mistake. He’s wearing his sunglasses, but the anger is clear.

To his credit, Orange dishes out the lightest punishments. Trent will throw whatever he can reach quickest and Chuck punishes with spankings, just like when he was growing up. Orange is usually too tired to do any more than take away whatever Wheeler’s doing at the moment and sometimes a smack upside the head if he’s been really stupid. Apparently waking up his hungover dad by blasting the TV beside his head is stupid enough. A quick smack and throwing out his toast, not a word said. It embarrasses Wheeler more than anything else. Especially when Kris rips her toast in half and offers him the other half. She’s such a good kid. She knows they can’t make a sound as Orange takes the remote and almost tosses it behind the couch after turning off the TV. The whole apartment seems to know it can’t make a sound. Everything except for the phone.

“Can someone get that?” Trent calls from the bathroom.

“I’m busy!” Orange snaps, plopping down on the couch, already looking half dead.

Wheeler sighs and pushes up from the table to retrieve the phone in his parents’ room, the only landline they can actually afford, or so they say (Wheeler’s got a lot of suspicions about why they only have one landline, and most of the reasoning is because of illegal things).

“Hello?” He asks into the receiver, trying to sound as grownup as possible. He doesn’t sound much like any of his parents, but if the person on the other line can’t figure out the same, there’s a chance he’ll get to hear some very interesting news.

“This is Mr. Castagnoli, headmaster at the Gruber School. Could I speak to Mr. Beretta please?”

Well this is a no-brainer.

“This is he.”

“Mr. Beretta, when you enrolled Wheeler at this school, you did mention that he had certain… ‘troubles’, shall we say. As you know, we pride ourselves on turning troubled boys into productive members of society, but if they do not attend the school, there is very little we can do. This is the third time we’ve tried to reach out to inform you that Wheeler left school without permission nearly two weeks ago. At the beginning of the year, tuition was paid in full for the semester, but unless there is a reason for Wheeler’s absence, the tuition will be forfeit.”

The school year started in early June, right when the public schools ended. Some parents put their kids in just for the summer to keep them from getting into trouble on the streets and some kept them year-round. Wheeler had been the second category. Shipped off with a suitcase of clothes and an order to obey his teachers. As if he actually would.

All of the public schools had labels for him. The classics, of course; “difficult”, “attention issues”, “won’t listen to authority”, “hyperactive”. But then there were some that were a little bit more interesting: “emotionless”, “creepy”, “we had to add new rules to the school because of something Wheeler did with a chicken pot pie, a bucket of paint and seven live rats” (he’d been particularly proud of that last one).

Mr. Castagnoli, when Wheeler had first met him, cut a bit of an imposing figure. He was standing in the entryway of the school, hands behind him and wearing a suit that was just on the verge of being too small. He almost looked like a soldier. Wheeler wouldn’t have been surprised if he had been one in a past life. He didn’t move a muscle except for looking down when Wheeler climbed the steps of the school. He hadn’t seemed so from a distance, but up close, he was a little taller than Wheeler expected. It threw him for all the more of a loop when he stuck out his hand for Wheeler.

“Master Yuta, I presume?”

“Yeah?”

He’d looked down expectantly, like to continue this conversation, Wheeler was going to have to shake his hand. He really wasn’t all that much of a troublemaker, but staring down a summer spent in a stuffy old building getting taught summer school was about as appealing as a case of jock itch and left Wheeler about as excited. He made his feelings about as clear as possible without being rude by looking between Mr. Castagnoli’s hand and back up to him, not making any movement to take it. Mr. Castagnoli, to his credit, got the picture.

“I see. Starting off on this foot. Well, that’s your decision.” He turned to open the door, clearly only holding it open as a result of his own proper upbringing and not because he had an inclination to be impressing him.

It took Wheeler all of two hours to decide the Gruber School was the last place on Earth he wanted to be. None of the boys there were anything short of psychopaths, setting fire to things and pulling wings off insects just for fun. Kids who didn’t have much in the future except prison. The same could probably be said for Wheeler, but he didn’t think he was quite as demented as them. The less time that could be spent at school, the better. The fact that he could just leave and then take a cab home just proved how little it mattered if he was actually there.

“He’s dead.” Wheeler slams down the receiver. Hard enough that he hopes the message is clear: don’t call back, forfeit all the tuition they want. He’s not going back now or ever.

Out of everything he can be bothered to take along from apartment to apartment, one of the longest-lasting has been his ficus. There’s no emotional story for it; he bought it from a shop about three years before. It had been sitting in a window in a plain clay pot and seemed rather happy there, so Regal makes an effort to give it the same conditions here. Keeps it on the table in the living room and out of the path of the AC during the evening and leaves it in an open windowsill during the day. It airs out the room, makes his ficus peppy and makes it seem as if a respectable member of society lives here.

There’s no work to be done today. None that he’s gone to seek out. Tony knows where to find him if there’s a job that needs his touch and he’s not aching to take any normal jobs. Yesterday’s has the month’s rent paid and keeps him well-stocked in milk, so he’s fine. He can take the morning off. There’s a matinee at the classic movie theater a few blocks away. A decent way to kill time until noon. There’s some little part of him deep down that makes him think it wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world to at least be home in case something happens. That maybe he’ll be able to help somehow if either party starts getting stupid or violent. Given what he saw the day before, the chance is more than high enough.

The theater’s playing Some Like It Hot when Regal arrives. About five minutes in, but it doesn’t matter too much. He’s seen it before, after all. Probably a hundred times. The story of two men who stow away with an all-girl band after witnessing a murder, disguised as women. It never gets old, no matter how many times Jack Lemmon admits he’s a man and Joe Brown says he’ll marry him anyway because nobody’s perfect.

Not quite how it worked in the real world, but that’s what movies are for.

Wheeler’s not sitting this time when Regal reaches the landing of their floor. Not kicking his feet and not smoking. There’s some part of him that’s glad he’s not; it’s not a good habit to have for kids who like to live a long time. Nothing seems out of the ordinary until he notes the way the boy is turning his body, like he’s angling away from Regal on purpose, hiding something.

Thankfully, he’s about as good at hiding a nosebleed as he is at hiding a cigarette. As if no one ever taught him to pinch his nose with a tissue until it stops. Though after hearing some of the things that come from their apartment, he’s not all too shocked. He hands the boy a handkerchief from his coat pocket.

“Is life always this hard?” The boy mumbles. “Or is it just when you’re a kid?”

“Hasn’t been easy yet.” He’s not sure if he means to comfort or reassure the boy, but he doesn’t seem all too upset by his answer, so it must have been the right one. “Keep the handkerchief.”

The boy nods and looks down at the stained cloth. It probably wouldn’t serve much use in any other way at this point. Not much of a gift, but certainly more than he had.

“I’m going grocery shopping. You need some milk? You usually get two quarts, right?”

It’s… a strangely neighborly offer. Regal hadn’t picked up any after the movie and it would never hurt to have a little extra so he wouldn’t have to go himself later. He’s caught off-guard enough to only nod an affirmative. The boy seems strangely jubilant with the new task. Maybe as an excuse to get out of the house. Must be it. There’s no other reason a child would look so excited to do a chore. Especially one he’d clearly been procrastinating on by standing on the landing instead of tending to the nose bleed as he went down the stairs.

It’s another thing to weigh on Regal’s mind as he pulls off his coat and goes to fetch a glass of milk. The odds weren’t very good that the boy simply gets the occasional nosebleed. About as likely as him having fallen off his bike the day before. The man in the apartment next door seemed like a much more likely source for both.

#having schedules for your chapter drop dates are for nerds #i throw chapters into the void when the mood strikes me #William Regal #Wheeler Yuta #AEW #Regal The Professional #Writing

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nem0-nee · 2 years ago

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On "heavy inspiration"

First, I'd like to apologize for the contents of this post. I do not wish to be a blog that just complains about matters, but I feel like I need to say this at least once.

If you don't agree with what I say, that's perfectly fine. We can agree to disagree, that is all.

It never fails to anger me when I see any issue related to tracing and "heavy inspiration." These are definitely tools when it comes to learning more about art, but there's definitely a line that dictates whether the use of those methods are acceptable or not.

I will not be naming names, but back then there was a blog which was "heavily inspired" by me. I'm flattered that I inspire people out there, but this case was truly something else.

[NOTE: If you recognize the account I'm referring to, please don't bring them up. I don't want this to escalate, nor do I want to stir up any issues. This is just to discuss what happened.]

There was a time where I've made a character sheet/template for one of my OCs, intending it to be for her specifically; every element about it reflected her as a character in general. A few days later, I see that a certain blog had done the same with their own sheet. The only difference was that it was all mirrored. I commend them for giving me credit, however I was not on board with what they did.

DISCLAIMER #1: Yes, I am aware that I may sound like a whiny baby for being possessive over a character template. It truly sounds absurd, and even now I don't know if what I felt was valid. But my reason for it was that I had specifically designed that sheet for THAT character. It was completely original, as I had made it all from scratch. It took me a while to conceptualize it all. Then someone comes along, taking and running with it without asking me? Can you blame me for being upset?

I didn't want to cause an issue, so I privately settled this issue with them. I made it clear with them that they should've asked me first before doing it, but also added in that they don't have to take the post down. I may be protective of my works, but I'm not a jerk to force someone to take down their own hard work. Plus, I didn't want to cause any drama nor controversy over a character sheet, so I just kept my mouth shut.

Additionally, I made a post as a measure to make sure this incident doesn't repeat.

You'd think this would all stop, but it surprisingly didn't! A few months later, I released a Birthday Union Card for one of my characters. I took some creative liberties with it and added my own twist to things. So, I gave my OC a different kind of bow and nail polish. A few weeks later and what do I see? The same kind of bow and nail polish are on their own birthday card too!!

DISCLAIMER #2: I am aware I don't own these "creative liberties" or certain aspects of design. I would've brushed this off as a coincidence if they hadn't taken "major inspiration" from me before, but this was the second time it all happened. I was beginning to get paranoid; I felt like they were keeping note of everything I do so they could do the same. damn. thing. Plus from what I know, I don't think anyone has done this before? Maybe that's just me...

Don't get me even started with the post formats! I did things a certain way back then, mixing up the font styles, incorporating colors, cringeworthy quotes- you name it. Would you believe me that they got inspired by me to this degree? That they would format posts that contained similar content as me IN A SIMILAR WAY?

DISCLAIMER #3: I am aware that I don't own post formats. My point here is that they were truly coming across as a copycat. I believe they could've changed things up for the sake of originality. But I suppose you can't have everything nice in life.

Every time they post something, the first thing that comes to mind is "what did they copy from me this time?" And it's truly a shame. Any slight resemblance or similarity to what I did stirred panic within me. It wasn't healthy, and I felt like I couldn't do anything about it.

Though, I must admit I'm not entirely in the right for this. Thinking about it, I may have enabled them due to my lack of communication.

FAULT #1: I must acknowledge my fault for not telling them off enough. I really thought they'd just eventually stop and learn from their mistakes. I just didn't have the heart to tell them any more. Being accused of copying is not a great thing, and I didn't really want to be that person. Unfortunately, look where that got me.

FAULT #2: It's also my fault I decided to follow them back despite the first instance and didn't block them. Admittedly, I have a bad habit of wanting to see the good in people. So I assumed that they would change in the long run.

Things only stopped when I finally blocked them and notified them about it. I don't think they're active on here anymore, and sometimes I worry if I was the reason for that. I wished it didn't come to this point.

This is a cautionary tale for fellow artists out there. Please, don't take things without permission. This whole incident took a toll on me for months, and I still fear instances of these. Some artists may be more lenient and wouldn't mind, but there are definitely others who are not okay with "heavy inspiration." Always, ALWAYS ask.

#random rambling #please be civil if you have any comments on this #I do not condone any hate sent to this person despite what they did #I'd also like to apologize for showing their work (which may lead to them being identified)#but I really needed the evidence to back up what I'm saying #I'm calling it heavy inspiration and not copying because I feel like an ass for saying that #sorry if this isn't the usual things you'd want to see #but I really needed this to be brought up #also sorry for the typos and errors I'll fix them later-

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romaine2424 · 2 years ago

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Fic Wrap up for 2022

OMG where did the year go? I achieved none of my goals I wrote down last year at this time. However, it saves me of making a new post, because they are the same for this year. Finish my WIPs!!! LOL

This year I wrote about ~210K. 193K posted (4 fics). The other amount is for those WIPs. LOL

Here's the list and indulgent commenting of the fics I posted in 2022:

Every Cottage Has a Story (5.5K) This was written for Salt & Pepper Fest 2022. It's Harry/Ginny/Draco. It's written from an adult James' POV when he discovers Draco isn't just a border at his parent's cottage. It's rated T and is so much fun!

Eight Days a Week (122K) This fic I wrote as a chapter fic. It had been years since I did this type of release. It's Drarry but M/F as Draco is trans-fem in this story. It covers the two years of her transition. I didn't want to make it that she took a potion and that was it. I thought it was important for their relationship to go through the physical and psychological process in more detail. Friends to Lovers. Harry is pansexual or rather he discovers he is :). The story took me five months to write and I'm not sure I've ever put so much of my heart and soul into one of my fics since Double Edged Sword. It is a Drarry love story and it is a positive transitioning story. And it's about those growing up years where big decisions have to be made. I had some very lovely and loyal commenters, which got me through to the end. I'm so grateful to them. However, I'll be very honest, I was disappointed in the overall reception of this fic. I know the saying is "write for yourself", but there was definitely a sting to this one. Aulophobia and @m0srael were amazing in their help with this fic. Rated E

25 Holiday Scenes for Eight Days a Week (16.3K) I didn't expect a big response for this one, but I still had this story and characters in my head for months after completing it. So, I wrote for me this year for @slythindor100 25 Days of Draco and Harry. LOL It was a lot of fun! And, I thank the faithful commenters. Rated G

The Roommate (42.7K) I wrote this as a gift fic for @sorrybutblog for the @hd-erised 2022 fest. OMG I had troubles with this one. I wanted to write a romcom but I think I'm unable to do such a thing, so a bit of serious plot forced it's way in. Here's the summary: After one year in Azkaban and two years of home arrest, Draco is going off to college. Myrrdin College is Oxford’s magical college, where one Harry Potter is currently attending. Both are going for their teaching certificates with Draco specialising in Potions and Harry in Defence Against the Dark Arts. The Headmistress has insisted all incoming professors must be degreed. However, the Board of Governors insist that Draco also must live in a Muggle house with limited allowance and take Muggle elective courses before he can become Hogwarts' new Potions Professor. Harry is coerced by others into helping Draco Malfoy survive in the Muggle world. My favorite comment on this was equating the fic to a warm blanket! LOL. It is cottage-core. Harry's goal is to make Draco Malfoy fall in love with the Muggle world...he might have achieved it a little too well. :) It's rated M. I so tried for the E but it just didn't fit the story.

The rest I've written was for my WIPs.

Favorite Lines:

1. “Shit! I’ve gone from a Death Eater to an old witch smoking and drinking on a porch.” (Libby to Harry in 25 Holiday Scenes).

2. He’s heard the saying that the wand chooses the wizard one too many times. Whilst it might be true, Draco has found that a wizard or witch will use any damn wand available if needed. (The Roommate)

3. “Don’t talk to me like that, James Sirius!” Ginny replied sternly. “I’m sorry that you haven’t noticed what’s slap-bang in front of your face. You’re like a Muggle not seeing magic.” (Every Cottage Has a Story)

Onto the New Year! Hopefully those WIPs will be finished. I won't be looking at any prompts for any fests this year. *yeah right*

#romaine2424 fics #2022 wrapped #eight days a week #every cottage has a story #The Roommate #25 days of draco and harry #drarry fics

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morethanwords0475 · 2 years ago

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November TC Challenge

1) What does your TC teach and do they teach you?

Incas Lily teaches Biology and is teaching me for the second year.

2) If you could pick their outfit for the day what would it be?

I just love him in a white shirt so much, either with a dark tie or no tie and unfastened top buttons. Absolutely beautiful.

3) What’s their personality like? ( e.g. are they loud or quiet? Enthusiastic or fairly reserved?)

His enthusiasm for his subject does shine through, and he is very sociable with other teachers, but I think the nature of our class being one of the oldest makes it hard for him to be loud personality-wise with us. He can appear quite introverted sometimes.

4) Are they married? Got any kids?

He is not married (to the best of my knowledge but I’m 99% sure) and definitely no kids.

5) What’s your favourite memory with them?

I loved that talk we had when I told him I was struggling with my mental health (triggered by one of our recent Biology assessments), it was such a comforting and sombre conversation and he praised me so much.

6) What was your first impression of them?

I didn’t get to know him much until a few weeks after he started teaching me, but I remember seeing the school posting his photo before he came and thinking damn this new teacher is good looking. More than two years afterwards, turns out I was right 😭

7) What’s your favourite thing about them (physically or personality wise)?

This is really hard to choose, but what initially drew me to him was how close and casual he felt to our class and how kind and empathetic he was to us (and now to me).

8) Do you have a song that you associate with them? If so, what is it?

There is a song significant to my story with Incas Lily that I definitively associate with him, but another would probably be Demons by Alec Benjamin.

9) Have you ever had an argument with them? If so, what about?

I’ve never seen him argue with anyone before, really. We have had somewhat intense academic conversations before, especially when I was doing my experiments, but nothing more 'heated' than that. He has said that he likes to argue but I have yet to experience it.

10) Are you attracted to them romantically? Or platonically?

I think I have officially crossed the line into romantic attraction - my purely platonic attraction to Incas Lily lasted only about a month and a half (oops).

11) If they kissed you (and it wasn’t illegal) what would you do?

I might welcome it in the moment but I think the dynamic he built with us is so… safe, nurturing, and casual in nature that I would find it weird. Even though I am romantically attracted to him, the 'TC vibe' is still very much platonic.

12) Do you think they know about your crush?

My behaviour around him has certainly shifted a lot since realising I have feelings for him, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he suspects it but hope that he will only write it off as us entering a particularly tough year or me suddenly liking Biology even more than before.

13) What would be your ideal date with them?

I would just love to be somewhere with him where he can be his free and true self, maybe a coffee date as we talk and laugh about random things or he tells me about all kinds of cool science stuff, or a walk around the lake.

14) Do you have any inside jokes? If you feel comfortable sharing, what are they?

I don’t think we have any between us, but he definitely has some with our class and it feels really nice.

15) How often do you see them?

Every day we’re at school, thankfully. Other than our lessons I also do my best to see him on the hallways as well - this extra effort I go to was one of the first signs that he was becoming more than just a 'good teacher' to me.

16) Have you ever cried over your TC? If so, why?

A few times now, such as when I thought about him leaving or after that really sweet talk we had.

17) What did they do their degree in? Is it the subject they teach now?

He majored in a specialised area of biology (it’s super cool) and he teaches Biology as a general subject now.

18) Do they do any sport? If so, what?

He said he’s not really a sports kind of person but he does exercise often.

19) What do you think they do in their spare time?

I know he sometimes goes out with other teachers, work out, read science-y stuff, and probably keep his dog company.

20) Do you have any photos with them? If so, how did you get them?

I don’t, sadly.

21) Do you plan on staying in contact after you leave?

I would really like that, and for the first time it wouldn’t be bordering on illegal since I would have graduated and he would have left the school as well. I hope we build a strong enough bond for that before the year ends.

22) What’s your favourite scenario you’ve made up in your head about them?

Other than me being stressed as hell and him comforting me, I also just often imagine wrapping my arms around him in a hug and leaning on his chest.

23) Have you ever seen them outside of school?

Sadly no. I have seen him cycling home on the road near our school though lol.

24) Does anyone else know about your crush? Who?

Only you guys! I don’t really want to tell my friends (unless it gets really bad and/or they suspect) since I am still also wallowing in grief for T and I know they don’t want me to keep liking teachers (oops).

25) What animal do they remind you of?

He says he’s a dog person and I can definitely see that, but honestly he gives such cat vibes as well! Sophisticated, sometimes quiet, the way he walks, the way he can be so jokingly savage. Love it so much.

26) Do you know when their birthday is? Would you get them a gift?

I would really like to know when it is exactly but I know we won’t be able to celebrate it for him before we graduate. If we had another year I would definitely get him a gift.

27) How did you realise you were in love with them? Was it love at first sight? or gradual?

It was definitely gradual - seeing how it took a whole year, but I think there is something that makes my process of 'realising' with him special. It was both due to me coming into the new school year, with a gapping hole left in my life from T’s departure, and immediately knowing I was being more attached to him and his reliable, comforting presence, as well as a few compiled moments of suddenly feeling differently towards him, like a heavier heartbeat or being sad seeing him for no reason. Nothing changed with him between the whole of last year and the start of this year, so this gradual crescendo of feelings reaching past a threshold completely ambiguously is certainly unconventional for me.

28) Do they drink/smoke that you know of?

He probably drinks a bit but he definitely doesn't smoke. He said we'd be very stupid if any of us smoked.

29) If you could reenact a movie scene with them (from any movie!) what would it be? Which character would you be and which would they be?

I really don't know! Maybe I don't watch enough movies, or our dynamic is so hard to define to find parallels in other characters.

30) What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had about them?

I haven't had many dreams of him yet, the weirdest of them is still pretty normal. We suddenly start having weekly unit tests, and I am so busy I always go in unprepared (super scary). It goes on fine for a few weeks as the units are relatively easy, until one test about some form of glucose transport, where there was a question asking about two proteins/molecules that I can't recall at all. The names are really weird but I knew we studied it in the dream, in reality they didn't exist. It's a fairly standard academic anxiety dream for me.

#Incas Lily #tc #tc community #teacher crush #male tc #tc challenge #november tc challenge

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vuutarros · 3 hours ago

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It was a horrible idea to have this girl as a roommate...

Val and I are so burnt out, so fucking stressed out all the time.

She's just so much, all the time and when we say anythi- well, when I say anything, I'm a heinous bitch picking on the poor mentally ill, traumatised, formerly homeless girl. Val might, if she's lucky, get some introspection.

Val and I both have noise sensitivities, M makes so much fucking noise, no matter what we say. Val dropped the toilet lid, this triggered M and can never happen again. She likes to wear her boots in the house (we're not Americans! We don't do that here!) and shuffle-clomps around, which is great because she paces around the whole damned apartment. And she plays her games super loud because she's got hearing loss.

I have issues with scents, like not just autistic issues, but straight up "breathing has become a bit difficult now" issues with some scents, especially perfumes and body sprays and, as I've recently discovered, incense. Thank god, she doesn't also have one of those essential oil diffusers.

She goes to Val or I, but mostly Val, with every emotional issue, from some minor thing like "I stubbed my toe and now I'm kinda angry and sad" to "I'm actively suicidal and I wanted to borrow your knife." She has no sense of degree, so everything is a "sensitive issue" and Val has no idea what she'll be dealing with. This is super frustrating, because fuck we're not mental health professionals, we're both also mentally ill, traumatised bitches and Val is so stressed out dealing with M's emotions that she's failing her classes.

She has like zero respect for my property. She's broken some of dishes and not said anything, I only know of them because I can count how many glasses I now have and because I straight up asked if she knew what happened to one of my (very few) food containers when I was going crazy trying to find it. Plus she just took my lotion from the bathroom and she took my shaving cream.

The food is communal, but I would like to at least know when she's used up my spices or all three jugs of syrup so I can replace them when I next go shopping, not find out that I have 1 tablespoon of syrup left in the house after I made the waffles. Neither Val or I can figure out how the hell she managed to use up 3 bottles of syrup in 3 months when all she cooks is chicken and potatoes.

About a month after she moved in, Val and I went to go upstairs to have sex. We warned M that she might want to put on some headphones. We did not have sex that night, instead we got to have a 2 hour long talk with M about how unfair we were being with our expectations and how put upon she was to have to deal with this when she's having a really bad day. It was super fun... A few weeks later, we were kicked out of the apartment for a couple hours so she didn't have to be quiet while she masturbated.

The other day, Val walked past her on her way to the stairs and quietly said to herself "must go bite girlfriend", this was met with a disgusted "ew! TMI!" That was TMI but she literally told us that she wanted the apartment to herself to masturbate loudly.

She has zero concept of how long something will take her. More than once I've left the house with no makeup and unshaven because she's been the bathroom doing her grooming for over 2 hours. She said she'd be 20 minutes. Tops. We're also routinely late for things.

I have an unfortunate tendency to come across as condescending at times, regardless of whether I'm actually intending to be condescending or not. I rarely intend to. It's just something about how I phrase things, and like maybe tone of voice, I think. I don't know. Anyway, I was explaining to her that if she's going to have the windows and balcony door open when it's 5° outside, she needs to turn down the thermostat so the furnace isn't running constantly and trying to further global warming via my gas bill. I did the whole accidental condescension thing and she got angry. Historically, people getting angry when they accuse me of being condescending goes very poorly for me, and now I just automatically shut down and leave when it happens. Yadda yadda trauma response. Well, this was an even bigger offense than the condescension and became a whole thing. It required a "conversation" to deal with.

"Conversations" about issues with M tend to go one way for me, recriminations about how awful I was and solved only by me apologising. Admittedly, sometimes I have actually been in the wrong in how I've expressed my frustrations with her infuriating behaviour, but not always. The flow of the "conversation" is always the same regardless, tho.

I just couldn't handle that and so it was put off for two days. The "conversation" went like all the others, except for the part where accept full blame.

In the end, it was decided (without my input) that since I am 40, I should have all my shit figured out and since I don't, she could be condescending and shit to me, but I must be a placid fucking doormat for her.

Val and I are both constantly on edge and walking on eggshells around her, because her mood is so volatile and impossible to discern, that we never know what will set her off, what will be unacceptable conversation. And like, my whole existence also has a tendency to set her off, I kinda wear my emotions on my sleeve, so my frustration shows quickly.

We're going to sit her down this weekend and have a talk about this bullshit. Because honestly, there's so much more shit that's happened, it's just untenable. She's been here 3 months and there's 4.5 until the lease is up.

Val's failing classes, I'm so stressed that I don't think I'll be able to go back to work at the end of the month.

#cait's adventures #shitty roommate chronicles #we're both so tired and stressed out...#like so many things she does are triggering my trauma

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dentwy · 8 months ago

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number 8: persona 3 reload

originally, i did not intend to write much about this game. the more i played the more i got into debates and discussions about it. mixed with the varied degrees of reception you end up seeing on social media, it only felt right to fully articulate my thoughts into something bigger. it often seems like people online (on twitter specifically) can focus their thoughts on a single thing at a time. the new game came out, now it's my time to bash on the rest of the series! the remake is finally real, everyone else must acknowledge how i was always right! and so on and so forth. i'm glad i take part of a group of people that care more about our specific takes and opinions (even if we can end up taking the piss on each other for the sake of the bit). i only wish media discussions online didn't usually end up as such black and white concepts.

unfortunately due to the 30 image limt on tumblr i'm starting to come to the conclusion that this site isn't too ideal for what i'm doing. going forward, i'll have to figure out something else or shorten these things.

with that said, whatever your opinion is on this particular game, persona 3 reload, i hope more can come from reading these words. that is ultimately what my goal with writing these things is. first i must clarify a few things:

i have only played persona 3, 4 and 5. it essentially means "the persona series" to me. from my understanding persona 1 and 2 are more smt than what we know as persona, but i couldn't tell you much about them nor compare them to any of the others, so for any mention of other persona games these do not come into consideration.

i played persona in reverse order, be first 5, then 4 and finally 3. both p5 and p5r, only golden, only reload. i could only wish to have an opinion on these things in a vacuum, but alas it is not possible to do. p5r is also my favorite so take that as you will.

there are some general (important) plot points i already knew before jumping into reload, that may or may not affect the end experience. we can argue about the importance of going into something completely blind without getting spoiled vs simply experiencing the way the story is told, but that is a completely different discussion for another day.

without much further ado, this is persona 3 reload. spoilers will be discussed. otherwise, the tl;dr:

persona 3 reload is my excuse to play persona 3. even if it very clearly reports itself as an older game in the series, it is unlike anything its two subsequent entries in the franchise would end up offering. it's an important game, for atlus, and for videogames. instead of tying it forever to its roots, it brings itself to modern audiences, and does it as it was needed.

i never had much intent to play p3, or p3 fes, or p3p. in fact the more i heard about it the less interested i was. pick your poison: uncontrollable party members, or a top down view of the entire game akin more to a regular visual novel than the persona you know. i do understand the intent behind not controlling your party in the original game, i still don't really care for it, sorry. social links don't really do anything, you can't actually talk to the male party members, and every interaction with a woman is exclusively with the goal of you romancing her. you also need to make sure they don't get jealous with you since that will sever the link and waste your time. hadn't really heard people find tartarus fun either, but i see different takes on it now. add this to the fact there are different versions of persona 3 that add and take different aspects of the game, never really offering you the full package. at some point i decided that, effectively, the only way i would play persona 3 is if it got remade. i try to not go back on promises, so i did play it. they got me.

initially, expectations weren't too high, but as the date got closer i did start thinking "damn so by next week i'm actually gonna be playing persona 3 huh". i'd say the first couple of hours of the game were the most magical part. it did get me on that train of saying "this could just be persona 6 if they wanted it to be", but it is a 100 hour long jrpg so things can change quite easily over time.

how would they not get you excited when you're just starting? the game is fabulous to look at. atlus can't miss with their presentation, as usual. actually playing it isn't much different either. the quality of life improvements are very much welcome here. thank you for adding the shift to the game, i was in need of my dear baton pass. all the animations are stunning, the music is punchy as usual, in addition to what could go up as my favorite (if not second favorite) persona battle theme. not mass destruction, it's going down now. first one would be axe to grind from scramble. only thing is that the game maybe looks a bit too much like Made In Unreal with the motion blur turned on so i chose to turn it off through the game files.

even if the places around iwatodai and tatsumi port island aren't the most visually stunning, they serve their purpose so i can't complain much. their simplicity has a charm to it as well. tartarus itself is the key point in visuals, with every floor having its own style and architecture.

general gripes? i don't really find tartarus that fun to go through after 50 hours of videogame. randomly generated hallways are not my thing there isn't much more i can argue; having 250 floors of that gets tedious after a while. tartarus also can simply end up feeling secondary depending on the way you do things. you don't really have to go as high as it lets you before the next full moon, as far as i understand. you do it because it's your end goal, and also because people go missing and you need to get them before they die. i can commend it for making it a player decision instead of forcing it onto you, i guess. puts you in the shoes of the characters and all that. it just turns out that going there once a month for 4 hours straight until i reach the top isn't the most invigorating activity, personally. the game focusing on tartarus exclusively at night also makes it so most other days are completely devoid of activity. even if this isn't an issue for the entirety of the game, there are some long sections where it becomes very evident that maybe you should space out your tartarus visits throughout the month. my schedule management still wasn't the best anyway, so that's on me.

the game is also seriously easy. playing on merciless could've been a better option, but who knows. i started on normal because if a game says the normal mode is "for experienced players. moderately challenging combat" then i'll take your word. maybe i'm just too much of a grind freak. i just try to defeat as many enemies as possible and if i have too much sp left by the time i'm done, i'll do another go at it to not waste it. otherwise, normal gameplay for someone who has already played a couple of jrpgs.

most "challenging fights" are solved with a single theurgy move, if not two. it got so stupid i decided to change the game to hard halfway through it, but not much changed. i do really like the theurgies, i rather they stayed than have them removed. they're just a bit broken in my opinion. i pretty much fused a black frost as soon as you could and used him for most of my playthrough. seems to have worked.

one of my biggest struggles personally is trying to find a reason to ever change party members. i think a lot of the blame can be put on me, sure. i don't recall one jrpg where i'm actually swapping around members a lot. if you find a party that works, stick with it. then there's also the part i can blame the game for. if i have to go back down and change around my party then i kind of won't ever feel like doing it. huge props to them for adding the level up clock, even if it's limited to 13 levels at once.

you might say "a lot of jrpgs are like that" and you'd be right. the issue to me comes with the way persona works. since you have a limited amount of time in a year, can only rely on the sp your party members have, and they don't really level up when they're not in your party, i'm simply gonna focus on the party i'm already using. p5 maybe solved this by letting them all get xp if you got mishima at a higher level, and you could swap them out whenever you wanted if one of them ran low on stamina (doesn't mean i did, though). then again, i also am the type of guy to hoard all the best items i can "in case i need it" and never use any. you do also have the fragments you can use to get everyone back to full and you find a bunch of those as you keep going. then again, you need them to open chests, if you open chests you get the clock to level them up, so maybe it's better to keep them. feels weird, i can't really ever get to decide on what i want to do. the fact party members also get special characteristics like cost reductions for healing magic and passive 10 sp gain every turn makes it a bit hard to swap them out (because, yeah, my party was yukari, ken and koromaru). either way, it is a fun game to play. maybe repetitive, but i can't entirely say i play jrpgs exclusively for turn based combat. "i hate jrpgs" says the guy playing jrpgs, we keep going.

what i'm mostly interested in is story and characters. things persona has a lot of! i'll go into those in the opposite order as how i listed them, because i like to talk about characters.

i am so sorry for the persona 3 fans because a solid 80% of the social links blow, real bad. the rewards for social links in 4 and 5 are definitely nice. initially, i wondered if the fact you don't get much through them besides a persona would give you another reason to max them out. the train of thought was "well, it should speak for itself if just talking to people is rewarding enough", turns out that for most of them the only goal is the persona at the end. if i didn't like someone, i simply wouldn't talk to them ever again. the ones i wasn't crazy into i simply maxed out because i had nothing else to do, otherwise the list of people i maxed would've been lower. i also don't really like how both p3 and p4 make a bunch of your links part of different clubs inside the school. the times end up messing up each other, it feels weird for you to be hanging out with 5 different clubs while never actually going to most of them for more than a month at a time, and everyone ends up being unavailable anyway when you get close to exams or on holidays. the fact that some of these are exclusively connected to one another, meaning you can't even start them if you haven't gotten another one to a certain level doesn't really make things easier. i want to go through each one of them one by one to get across my feelings in regard to social links.

also, i know i said "rewards for social links in 4" but to be quite frank with you i kind of did not do a single social link in golden that was not in the main gang - besides adachi, marie, nanako and dojima. as far as i'm concerned, the rest of the links could be just as bad as the ones in 3, i simply do not know. what it definitely wins over though, is giving everyone in the team their own social link, apart from the usual rewards for leveling them up. i do like the way they tried to fix this in reload, however.

here is where each social link would get their own banner image. images which i stole entirely from rpgsite.net but made it look slick and easier to follow. my apologies if they all blend together but i hope you remember what each social link looks like.

the magician arcana is occupied by tomochika kenji. what is so magical about him is how quick and easy it is to hate this guy. since he's the first obligatory social link, i did, unfortunately, get him to rank 2. in those two ranks all he could do was talk about miss takeba, pester you constantly on whether the two of you are dating, if you ever get too peep at her since you live in the same dorm, and if you've done anything with her yet. he's also really down bad for his teacher. i don't like him, he's annoying, a creep and keeps insisting he's your friend throughout the entire game even though i never talked to him. he's one of the couple i had to end up watching the full link on youtube because i would never have done it out of my own volition. apparently when you tell him you're into "girls of all ages" he says how "interesting" and "impressive" it is (maybe more on that later). his whole link is him trying to bang his teacher, even though she never really thinks of him that way. he only deludes himself through the entirety of it. he ruins said teachers status since everyone starts thinking she's dating a highschooler, then starts crying when she leaves to kyushu with her husband. nothing of interest happens here.

something i saw someone say is that "everyone knows a guy like kenji". maybe i did? it sure isn't someone i'd ever be friends with though. i don't even particularly think the idea of a highschool kid being into his teacher is terrible, those things happen. it's mostly the fact he is absolutely convinced it's a good idea and wants to dedicate his life to her completely even if he doesn't know the first thing about her or can't really say anything about her that's not the fact that she's extremely hot. she is hot though, so he gets a pass on that. mostly found him insufferable and wanted to bash his head with a rock whenever he started talking to me.

odagiri hidetoshi is part of the emperor arcana, maybe a bit ironic. i initially didn't quite like this guy since he started as a bit of a prick as these people usually do. extremely conceited and aggressive. i respect the dedication but your options end up being "yeah! fuck them all!" or "uh, i think you're going a bit far with this". guess which one he likes to hear you say. a bit further into his link he does realize that there's more important things he could be worrying about, as no one will hear what you have to say if you're this much of an asshole. my problem with his link stems from the fact that he decides to change after trying to defend you, since he trusts you wholly. this would be fair if it wasn't for the fact that you are one of the main people that have been fueling his horrible tendencies up to this point, unless you didn't pick the good dialogue options and instead took longer to do his link. if so, then why does he even like you then? unsure. i believe a better option would be for both of you to get in trouble. then, have you face the actions of your consequences in whatever way imaginable. that way you both grow as people, see the failures of your actions and manage to grow. what if you actually found the student that was smoking and he got expelled? at the start of the link it was only to avoid any further trouble, then it gets more serious. you both understand that kicking him out wasn't the way to do things, and you're directly responsible for it. somehow convince the teachers to give him a second chance, track down the guy and understand where he's coming from. maybe then he can consider his own future as a teacher himself. odagiri is strange because he becomes a lot more genuine towards the end of his link, i can only wish it was done in a different way. he's generally more chill when you get to know him better, so actually being friends with this guy kind of makes sense. maybe he's not the most evocative image of friendship or comradery, but it's something he is trying to figure out himself.

"hierophant" is similar to "elephant" and i think elephants live for long. bunkichi and mitsuko are the first social link i maxed out. they're easy to talk to since they're available all days of the week except for sundays. maybe i should've left them for later into the game but they were the only people i liked talking to so i focused on them at the start of the game. there isn't much deep reflection that comes with their link, but it's nice enough. you're a random kid and they're a random old couple, but you feel for them and they feel for you. what i find strange with them is how little action you actually take into helping them. you're usually just saying "everything will be fine" and "i'll make sure of it" in regards to the tree at the school getting taken down, but, as a member of the student council, you never take any actions regarding the tree. they thank you for helping them out and can say you didn't do anything but they won't believe you. maybe it would be a little bit annoying to actually go out of your way to get people to sign or do stuff outside of the link, but i think it would add a lot to it. you could also just make it part of the link and show a little cutscene of your character doing stuff, who knows. besides, for stuff like elizabeth requests you have to go around the city doing things that don't take your time anyway. they've done it already. imagine if you had to go to a couple of your social links, or talk to the people at sees to sign. all of that for the tree to get taken down anyway, but it's the thought that matters. it's a bittersweet end and i like it for that. it's nice, i only wish you actually had more to do with it than just listening to them progress through it.

miyamoto kazushi is supposed to be the chariot of the track team. instead, he's just the chariot arcana. i only maxed this guy because i had nothing else to do. i don't think i hate him? i simply don't see him as a friend. it strikes me that most of the guys in this game want to hang out with you so bad because they don't actually have any friends. they allude to the fact they do, but clearly they do not. miyamoto is just stupid. he's supposed to be the star of the track team yet you show up one day and sweep all over the guy like it's nothing. he may be the best in your school (before you showed up) but he's not that good in general. the guy is convinced that he has to train as much as he can to win, so he injures his knee. instead of doing what any sane person would do and rest for a month or so, he simply decides to continue to run, further injuring himself. he concludes that the best course of action is to tell you his knee is about to snap and that you NEED to keep it a secret. even if this is bad for you, for him and for everyone involved, he asked you to keep it a secret so there is clearly nothing else can you do. SURELY he has a good reason to keep injuring himself? oh, of course he does! his cousin got into an accident and broke his legs. if he wants to move again, he will need to go to rehab. except he won't go to rehab unless our guy miyamoto becomes the fastest fucking runner in the entirety of japan. it's that simple. so, the only way to do this is to get better now instead of waiting. i don't really think i need to explain how insane this is.

besides the fact that ruining his knee will only make it so he can never run again, thus making his goal impossible, he's not even fucking good at running in the first place? the worst part is that by the end of the game after 3 months of him resting, his knee is completely recovered. so what was even the point of hurting it so much throughout the entire year? as usual the other problem with it is how the best dialogue options you get are "keep going! don't give up!" and "if you stop running you're a pussy!" because it's the short term goals that matter i suppose. i don't even know how you'd improve this link. i think i would scratch most of it completely. what i would like is for him to be in the track team because he likes yuko, and maybe he gets hurt because he's training so hard to impress her. then, he keeps training only because he doesn't have any other excuse to be around her. now, you obviously have to keep it a secret because he doesn't want her to know he likes her. this scenario would consider them being less close than they already are, and would make it kind of high-key fucked up if you ended up dating yuko at the end. i can take that though, it would make for interesting conflict. ideally she would never fall in love with your regardless, as within the canon of the game she seemingly starts a relationship with him if you don't romance her. considering atlus still cannot fathom the idea of a same gender romantic partner, can't imagine they would do that. they did technically do it the other way around with junpei rejecting you in portable, but still.

fushimi chihiro is the face of the justice aracana, perhaps because some justice is needed for this poor girl. i do like chihiro. she's obviously not the most boisterous personality, and she doesn't really need to be for you to like her. at the end of the day, everyone has their type. chihiro is one of the links i do like, or most of it anyway. her insecurities and anxieties towards men come from a very real place, and having the protagonist help her get through it is really nice to see. i didn't actually end up finishing her link because i wasted my time doing other things, but i got halfway through it. the crux of her link had just started when everyone starts blaming her for stealing the club funds and she can't stand for herself. i ended up watching the rest of it on youtube. it's fine. she grows for the better and that's the main thing you need after all. she manages to gather up the words she's been trying to say, thanks to you believing in and helping her out, which is more than most other social links are willing to do. what mostly strikes me as weird is the fact they never address how she actually got the money to buy the manga she wanted. i may have misconstrued the situation, but around rank 6 or so she gets excited to go back to the bookstore and see if anyone bought the manga collection she wanted. i suppose she doesn't explicitly say "i hope no one got it so i can buy it", but i assume that's the reasoning. the thing is that a rank earlier she explicitly says how she'd have to save up an entire year worth of her allowance to get it. so where is this money coming from? i take this as purposely making her seem suspicious so the player has to decide between their intuition and the trust they have over her, which is good. i only say it's weird because she isn't guilty, nor ever was. did she actually get to buy it? how so? this is beyond me, but it's mostly a cool social link all things considered.

maya… maya…. maya…. you should've stayed as a hermit! i genuinely believe maya could be a really great social link if it didn't completely send itself down the drain halfway through it. i find the idea of our main protagonist staying on his dorm all day to play a dead mmorpg really funny. he's playing that thing for like 8 hours straight and then goes back down and someone says "oh, didn't even know you were here". besides that, maya as "maya" herself is a really fun character. the online lingo might've changed since 2008 but it doesn't really come off as unrealistic. most unrealistic part is the fact of all kinds of people in this niche dead game you would find a middle aged woman playing it every day off. there's a lot that the link tries to say in regards to the online spaces, teachers, the school system, social expectations and such. it would come together nicely in the end to have this woman meet someone online that helps her get through her troubles, to then find it was one of her students all along and get really embarrassed about it. the big issue is, clearly, that she goes and says how she's really into you. so, she's not embarrassed about the stuff she said but rather the stuff she said about you, to you. even as the game is about to shut down and she goes "we should tell the developers", it's pretty stupid. besides the fact no group of developers would give a damn about 1 person online telling them this, sending your message logs about how you came out to a guy online as a groomer is kind of insane. she backs down on it not because of that, but because it's pointless to try to do anything about the game. i understand that atlus tries to appeal to different audiences and age groups with these games, but it is a weird thing to have her say. at least she doesn't ask you out at the end of it, maybe persona 5 could learn a thing from that.

fortune is a bit of what hiraga keisuke has. can't really hate the guy for that. i do like hiraga's social link overall, it's pretty nice and round even if it doesn't do any major things. he's a nice kid. most believable of them all to actually be your friend. he's talented and the people around him have expectations on him. his concerns are understandable and being unsure of what you want to do in highschool (or even after) is a regular worry to have. he genuinely enjoys drawing, but he cares for others and wants to help however is possible. i suppose you don't "do" a whole lot for the guy besides being there for him, but you can't really be figuring out his life out as a favor either. you help him when he needs it and chip in when asked about, and that is enough for both of you. he's mostly one of the good ones in my eyes, and the final social link event is also one of the funniest in the entire game. i don't find him trying to run away from home as a good part of the link, but the fact that he keeps bumping into old people that are all about to die and he has to help them out in the moment is absolutely hilarious. at least it's better than maiko in that sense, if only just a little bit.

train those legs! gain some strength! nishiwaki yuko can help you with that! she's fine. i don't really hate her or anything, i just find her a little bit strange. her link surrounds her and some kids she wants to help with training. they're constantly pushing the idea that you're her boyfriend and that's fine, kids can assume those things. you can take the hint and roll with it, or ignore it and stay as friends. neither particularly seems like you actually getting to know her that well, and that's where it ends for me. there isn't much going on with both of you or her entire social link. the kids ask for her help, you aid her, they win against the older kids, you're done. it concludes with her wondering what she wants to do with her future and that's perfectly fine, a bit like hiraga too. she doesn't really decide on what she wants to focus on though. for the most part my thing with yuko was the fact that i always saw her as "the girl miyamoto likes" even if neither of them ever allude to anything of the sort - but she does, canonically, end up with him if you don't. they've known each other for a while and it's clear that the idea is both of them ending up together. unless you interfere, of course. as such, i never felt like getting closer to her had much meaning and i didn't finish her link. i watched it on youtube, though. again, fair enough. don't really have an alternative scenario for her link, sorry. she's fun, i understand why people like her. not that interesting to me.

the hanged man is what i become once i finish maiko's social link, because god. the start of her link is you hearing some girls at school say "hey, did you see that kid at the shrine" and of course the first thought any teenage boy would have in that scenario is "curious. i should go see what that's all about." who the hell is this guy? the kindest soul in iwatodai, i hope. i don't mind the idea of you bumping into a kid that's having trouble at home. he can play with her and waste time to stop her worries. maybe even help her deal with her that and have her learn a thing or two about life. i did laugh my ass off when she started crying about how her parents are getting divorced, but maybe i'm also just evil. maiko is the perfect example of how little input you ever get into these links. i'll go into detail about makoto's character later on, but he is such a brick here. it's either "everything is gonna be fine" or "yeah kid, your parents hate you". she says how her dad just hits her like its nothing and you also have to suggest her staying with her dad when she's given the choice. she tells you to your face how she's running away from home (reminder she's 8 years old) and there is nothing you can do. she simply runs away. right in front of you too. then her parents appear and you're like, "idk, i think i know where she might be though". i don't think i need to explain how bad it is that she promises to marry you when she gets older and there's absolutely no way you can choose to deny it. a lot of missed potential with this one. if it was tuned right it could come out really nicely, but that's not how persona 3 rolls.

tanaka may as well be the incarnation of the devil. a devil i'm a bit iffy about. i think tanaka is a piece of shit, not much to discuss here. he's an asshole, he takes advantage of you and anyone he can. he suffers a bit of odagiri syndrome where everything you say has to be to confirm his own shitty values. the main difference here is that he loves explaining how you are wrong and he is right so most of the time it's actually better to tell the opposite of what he wants to hear, and i find that somewhat more enjoyable. i hate how he got like 40 thousand yen from me and never gave it back, how he doesn't particularly teach you anything at all but pretends he does (and the does game too), and how he seemingly "grows" by talking to you but only because he deludes himself into doing it. it is another odagiri, but less charismatic. it's fine that he hides his true feelings (or at least that's the idea) but nothing about him makes me want to care for the guy. sure, he donated money to charity for one reason or another, but that doesn't wipe the fact that he still casually scams, bullies and mistreats others. the asshole supreme, is what he is. don't think they were going for much more than that. thank you tanaka's amazing commodities, i will continue to buy your products.

temperance is what i need to not kick bebe right on his nuts. hon hon hon how sugoi! french-kun is a weeaboo. he likes japan. he LOVES japan! he can't think about not being in japan. i find his voice and way of speaking extremely jarring and annoying with his japanese voice. in english it's a lot more bearable. his japanese comes off as a racist caricature of what a foreigner would sound like while his voice in english is just a heavy french accent with random japanese words sprinkled around. that's how i see it, at least. i also just find his japanese voice annoying to listen to. i hope for a day where the Weeb Foreigner In Japan character actually has perfect japanese fluency instead of the joke being that he's annoying to understand. now that would be funny. if it was only that then maybe i could put up with it, but he's a really boring character too. it's literally ONLY about him loving japan. his aunt dies and he gets sad because his uncle will get him back to piece of shit france instead of letting him live in beautiful nihon. you talk to him a bunch and he decides to make a kimono to convince his uncle how beautiful japan is. too bad his kimono is horrendous! i don't actually know what he tells to you if you have him maxed by march, or if he's even still around by then. i do not care either. my time was spent on more important people, the french guy was never in my priority. a much more interesting take would be doing the opposite, and having him learn about japan while he misses home. maybe his family moved to japan because they had it rough in france or something. home is where family is, and japan can also be a beautiful place if you know where to look, or something. you could be the one that shows him around and gets him to learn the meaning of home. he can do that ugly ass kimono at the end for all i care, as a token of gratitude to you. i dont know, man, just change the way he talks and maybe he'd be more bearable.

mutatsu has the tower arcana, i'm running out of ideas. he's a sad old drunk man that goes at night and tells teenagers to go pick up girls (fair). i don't really find this man endearing at all considering he's always under the influence but i get his deal. he fucked up and wants to get his wife and son back. the only way he realizes that he should be the one to take the first step is by talking to you. that's kind of it. i respect the advice to use your time wisely, even if the way he does it is hardly what i would consider wise.

the star of the local racing scene is called hayase mamoru, and that he is. i really like this guy. i really like his link. hayase is what i was looking for! thank you hayase! you meet this guy at the track competition when he rolls up to you and goes "hey, nice moves. we should hang out". it definitely comes off as a little weird but hey, he's a sportsman, he knows how to spot a friendly challenger. as opposed to that fraud miyamoto, hayase has his real reasons to run (and is actually good at it!). he does absolutely love it, but, over anything, he doesn't want to be a burden on his family. he is similar to akihiko, losing someone and focusing on himself to take care of his loved ones in whatever way it is possible. since he lost his father, he needs to get a scholarship, as his mother wouldn't be able to pay it. he's a really nice, caring and responsible guy. since he doesn't have many other people he can talk to from the track team, he relies on you to hear him out as well as to train with him. after a while, once his mother collapses from exhaustion, he figures out that he needs to put his family over everything and moves away to work at a factory far away. it's not any big revelation to anyone, but it's simply what was needed from him. he never feels bad about it or gets angry at anyone, he knows what he has to do because it's what he cares about that is at risk. you eventually find out that at the factory he's working the people he hangs out with end up getting into running just like he does, which makes him excited for the future and keeps his passion alive. it's really nice to see. a social link where our protagonist has more than just a passive role, even if not by much, with solid reasons for the link to grow and the character to change.

alone, fat and sad, which the moon watches upon, a constant pain he will be. suemitsu nozomi everyone, the gourmet king. the gourmet king is one of the reasons i'm convinced i don't need to trust persona fans on twitter. i'm pretty sure you have to level up tomochika first before getting to talk to this dude, hence the reason i never even started him. that, and the fact that everyone said he was the worst social link in all of persona. i ended up watching it on youtube and came to the conclusion that the worst social link in persona is still tomochika. maybe not, i just hate the guy. it's probably ohya in p5. either way, the gourmet king surely deserves some criticism, but i'm not sure if it's the social link that's to fault. i do believe that there's a high chance i would've ignored the guy anyway if i had the option to talk to him. he's crass, aggressive and generally unpleasant. all he does is go around giving you orders and pretend that he's better than everyone, to only then try to scam you in the end. however, i find it as one of the most interesting links in the game. the "cult" he starts talking about is heavily relevant to the events that take place by the end of the game. someone as weak as him can be tricked into major delusions. someone that is persecuted by his traumas and the actions of others. he can't face himself nor his problems, so all he does is eat. eat his problems away, puke when he can't take any more and continue eating. no need to worry about your problems, just eat. of course a guy like that wouldn't be the most inviting to talk to. it's uncomfortable, but he needs some help. the fact that his link purposely reverses itself once you go against his own beliefs is excellent. you are the one that makes him realize what his problems are and that he's doing things the wrong way. even if it feels weird to still hang out with the guy after all he's done to you, maybe it shows your belief in others (or the protagonist's). people can grow and change. maybe he is too ugly for you to be interested, maybe it takes a bit for the link to get interesting as well. it's fair, i didn't want to talk to him in the first place either. i wish i could've given him a fair chance as he deserved, instead of treating him the same way everyone else did for a long time. he reminds me a little bit of the drunk man in the little prince; "i drink in order to forget. forget that i am ashamed of drinking".

at last, kamiki akinari, the sun of your sunday mornings. i'd have to agree that akinari is probably the best link in the game, as long as we're ignoring aigis. i found it extremely bizarre when this guy of all people won that one poll months ago for who was the best social link in the series. i still think it's crazy, but at least he's pretty good. he is definitely someone that needs you by his side, and i'm glad for that. he's lonely and he's dying. it runs well with the themes of the game, and you can give it a lot of benefit for that alone. what initially seemed a mindless waste of time to him, only waiting for his demise, turned into a beautiful moment he can enjoy for what little time he has left. the only thing i find extremely weird is the creative liberties with which they took the end of his link, where he randomly disappears in front of you. the wiki says "it implies he already died some time ago and this final meeting was his spirit" which i'm sorry that's just dumb. is there any need to make him a spirit and not just a normal dying guy? what does this add to his character? i forget about this fact anyway so it doesn't really matter to me. i like him a lot. his story is also really cool, inspires me to write more things myself.

you will see people usually default to the "persona 3 has the best story, persona 4 has the best cast, persona 5 has the best gameplay". when we're talking about best and worst there's a lot of factors that can come into play. subjective vs objective analysis and what you generally prioritize in a story or a game or any kind of piece of media. throughout my playthrough there are many things i could've gone on about how one game or the other does better or worse, but i struggle to see the point of this exercise. i absolutely cannot look at persona 3 reload without thinking of the other two games, but i rather focus on the game itself than how i would compare it to the rest. ironically enough, i believe i ended up liking this one more to persona 4.

a lot of my issues stem from our main character. canonically, yuki makoto. it may or may not have been me playing the game around the time i started watching the monogatari series again, while also reading no longer human, but the same idea of an actor trying to fit into society struck me as i thought about the way he acts. whoever thinks that persona protagonists don't have a personality are simply wrong. at times they can do things that may be off character if the player decides to do so. others it can shift slightly depending on dialogue options. for the most part, though, there is a certain kind of person you can draw from their actions and their train of thought.

besides makoto always having a dialogue option that can make him simply go "i don't give a damn", for the most part he is the most neutral kind of guy you can find. for better, or for worse. he is sociable and likeable, but only because he's put in situations where others talk to him and he always puts the other person before himself. a good trait perhaps, but it feels as if it comes from a lack of empathy rather than coming from a place of compassion. it's a game of gaslighting and convincing others. miyamoto should continue doing what he wants, it's his leg. odagiri is doing everything right, he knows what he wants. tanaka is making a living off of this, he probably knows what he's doing. maiko hates her parents, she can run away if she wants to. the only reason it's different with the people on sees is because they are important to the story, so they need him to be there to do things.

you can be best friends with junpei from the very start, always have him in your party and gas him up whenever he's down. he will still get angry at you for being the leader instead of him. yukari can get pissed off at mitsuru for keeping secrets from her and the only reason you will go help her out is because mitsuru suggested you do so. mitsuru does the same with shinjiro and ken when they need some attention. not once is it makoto that thinks he needs to take action for his own teammates.

i'm not asking for multiple diverging paths that depend on what actions you take. it's still a linear story. stuff needs to happen. it simply often clashes directly with the actions you take, or want to take, as a player. ludonarrative dissonance plays a big role in persona 3 reload.

i do find the cast of persona 3 really enjoyable. they aren't the strongest group of people. they have their problems and they obviously don't get along quickly as soon as they meet. the dorm setting confuses me a bit in this scenario, as it's not quite clear to me what the requirements are to be part of the dorm or how this even works at all. in fact, is it even normal to have both boys and girls living in the same place like this? it's more of an apartment complex than a dorm from the looks of it, but persona characters kind of end up being more young adults than teenagers anyway.

yukari is the one i ended up going for the romance route. while i do like her a lot, she's also a really weird character. she's dependable, selfless and caring. she can have quite the short fuse, but it doesn't try to come from a place of genuine malice. try being the key word. the start of her social link has her getting assaulted by a group of men and her reaction is to get pissed at you for helping her out. i fully understand she doesn't want to be treated as if she's weak and unreliable, but we're talking about completely different things here. throughout the entire game she keeps throwing shade at junpei for every single thing he does. even if he does deserve it at times, he also has his stuff going on. the guy had the girl he loved die right in front of her and on christmas eve she goes "i can't imagine that guy going out with a girl". seriously what is her deal? again, story doesn't match with the things we are doing. i understand her complains with mitsuru most of the time, even if she doesn't trust her at the start for reasons that are beyond me. she knows how she is, and she knows that she's trying her best. it is her family that brings most of the problems. while i get that she would get pissed for learning what happened with her father, putting the blame on mitsuru without understanding her own situation is a little bit ignorant. if anything, it helps for later on when they learn they've been getting duped and she learns to open up with the people around her. i do really like yukari, i simply can't say she's fabulously executed in the context of the game.

junpei did come as a big surprise. at the start, he's a bit of a weird guy. he's the bro, the one that wants to pick up chicks and go out and play. even if not the type of guy i'd go out of my way to become friends with, there's a lot to him that you will only learn once you know him well enough. he comes off as a little bit strange at the beginning. he's really adamant on trying to hang out with you, but you have nothing better to do i suppose. he really forces himself into you. maybe yukari is a bit too quick into dumping all her trauma to you as soon as you meet each other, but her reasoning is fair. junpei looks more like he's desperate for friends. can't blame him though, he can be a little bit annoying at times. he's weird, in a charismatic way. i think i often find myself talking the same way he does a lot of times, randomly emphasizing some words just because it's funny, or changing his intonation.

junpei is a bit of an idiot, we all know that, but he never means any wrong. he will be there to help out. he wants to stand out, sure. he wants to be the center of attention, sure. he will complain about it, but he's not your enemy. he starts off as extremely selfish, wanting to feel like the hero, but comes to understand that there are more important things to care about. what i was hoping to be further explored with junpei, is this deeply rooted self esteem issues that aren't completely delved into. it happens multiple times throughout the story where junpei starts getting angry at you or blames you for everything going wrong. he knows this is not right, he understands and apologizes. then, it happens again. i seem to understand that at some point, either in the answer, some other spin off or the femc route in portable, we learn that his father is an alcoholic. unless i missed something along these lines in reload, i don't really think they expand upon it which is a bit of a missed opportunity. more content is good, but i don't think getting precise characterizations and key moments of his past outside of the main story makes things better.

his arc with chidori, though, is probably my favorite in the game. this is when he manages to meet someone he can take care of. someone that makes his life a little bit more interesting. when he's at his lowest, feeling useless and easily replaceable, he has someone by his side he can share time with. at first, she doesn't seem interested in him, but junpei is the reason why chidori opens up and learns what it means to live. to want to live for longer. they both deeply care for each other by the end of november, and sacrificing herself to save his life is all she could ever wish to do for him. on it's own, it's a really strong moment for the story and junpei himself, but by getting some flowers for him to give chidori right before she dies, she can survive and come back later on. now, i feel a little bit weird with the game wanting you to do things you can easily miss to get an extra event that completely changes the story development and junpei's character, but either result can work out in some way. if she doesn't survive, junpei has that moment he will always look back on to make sure it never happens again. live for her sake. if she does survive, that memory is still just as painful, but it comes with a bright light of hope for the future. chidori is back, the pain and suffering wasn't for nothing as he still grew and learned what has to be done, but now it's accompanied by a different future to push towards. her memories are gone, so all they went through is lost for her. at the same time, all the pain she suffered is missing as well. trying to overcome those hardships and staying there by her side is another reason to live and continue, for both of them. it may as well be poignant enough to kill her off and leave it there, but since it's not something the game retcons out of nowhere and does lead you into it way before it actually happens, it feels proper. i also cannot complain about having some nice and happy event in the list of tragedies that keep happening towards the end.

mitsuru seems like a nice lady. extremely responsible and intelligent. she can be cold, but she means well. there's a certain charm to her that stem both from her personality and big sister energy, as well as the ways she often misunderstands others due to her lack of experience with the world and her upbringing. even if not my favorite, mitsuru is someone they all need to have around. her social link in particular comes off as a little weird to me. at the point in the story where you can start talking to her, it doesn't really fit at all. she trusts you wholly so having you around in a moment where she needs it most makes sense. you know, with the whole dead father thing. you go around the town with her as she learns more about what Normal People do. turns out she's getting married off to a guy for the sake of the company. it would be nice and all if you helped her figure out what she wants to do, as the general idea seems to be that the kirijo group is tying her future down. what we're overlooking here is that the world is seemingly going to end in the next month. girl, you don't have a future unless we do something about it. it doesn't matter what you decide now with your fiancé if you don't decide if you even want to remember all of this. it won't matter if you have no plan for how to survive. no one in sees ever looks at this whole deal as a barrier to break through. obviously, it's scary. no one is sure what will happen or how to deal with it. is it better to forget and die in peace? or try your best and fail? on daylight, mitsuru talks to you about takoyaki and how getting married may not be a terrible idea. at night, she wonders if you're all gonna get killed. she even talks to you with the idea of "only having so much time left together" but until graduation, not the end of the world.

specifically with my playthrough, there is a specific dialogue where she says something along the lines of "if i was in love with someone but i knew i can't be with him, would that be wrong?". here you can either tell her that if it's not meant to be then that's it, or that it's up to her. i don't really know about individual opinions but i think that being in love with someone you can't be with isn't quite something you control. i understand the question is probably more suited as a "should i still try or do i give up?" but that's not what she's saying. is it wrong? no? should you do something about it? whatever you think is right. obviously in the context of the game this either means "be with me" or "i'm not interested", so telling her that she should decide for herself indirectly tells her that you like her back. unfortunately, that is not my case! she proceeds to confess to you in front of her annoying fiancé, makes both of you really uncomfortable and she runs away. interpretations may vary but i can't see mitsuru as the type to be into you. just like akihiko, she's close to him as a dear friend. not much more than that. she can absolutely defend your honor and you may mean a lot to her as a friend, but not as a potential lover. though, at the same time, she gets riled up in the moment and isn't quite sure about her own words so it could be fair to say she simply spouts out something that could be taken differently - but she does say "i want to be with him forever" and then confesses to you, so not a lot to misinterpret from that. maybe just a me thing. even then, it still doesn't fit in the slightest with the point we're at in the story, so whatever.

akihiko is definitely the bigger bro. he's always there, he's got your back, you got his, the respect is mutual all the time. akihiko is also autistic as all hell and we love him for that. most of the time he genuinely doesn't know how he's supposed to talk to others, but, over anything, he has one thing he focuses on and devotes his entire life to. to train, to become stronger and to become the best he can be. he sure trains because he genuinely enjoys it, but it also comes from a place of tragedy. a loss he cannot forgive himself for. he doesn't want that to ever happen again, so he knows he needs to improve himself. i absolutely adore the fact he was adopted by a caring family on what i assume was around his early teens. he becomes stronger by the people around him and it takes him a bit to realize it, but he will always have someone taking care of his back. be it family or friends. a guy that knows what he wants and will do anything to achieve it. "but even if that's how i feel, i can't back down now. i'll carry that responsibility, and pay for it the rest of my life if i have to."

before playing the game i was ready to become a devoted fuuka fan. i was a little bit surprised to find out i didn't go that hard, but i sure understand the hype. fuuka seems to be concocted to be the girl your average fan would adore. she's cute, shy, really nice, caring, good with computers, a bit of a nerd, curious about trying new stuff, and is always in need of your help. i do like her a lot. she's a really nice friend, i'm safe to assume most people would be glad to have a friend like fuuka. it's just that.. damn.. i find her social link pretty weak. the majority of it is solely her trying to get better at cooking and you trying out her food. at first, god awful. then, she learns she can make onigiri and it's good. only onigiri, though. it's fine if she wants to get better at a single thing for the sake of everyone, akihiko does do the same after all. akihiko, however, has many reasons to try and get stronger. fuuka wants to get closer to others, i suppose, except she's not particularly closed off from everyone in the group either. if you didn't do anything with her here, she would still improve on her own and grow as a person through normal story means. so at the end of the day she goes through the same arc twice in the game. she has that one moment where she mentions she doesn't like bookstores because she couldn't stand up for herself back when someone accused her of stealing a book or something. a fine example of why she wants to change, but it insists on focusing about cooking instead of having her do anything more active. slowly, she naturally starts wondering why is it that she relies on you so much and you get the option to tell her that she loves you or, actually, you're only really good friends. my guy yuki back at it again gaslighting women. she learns that it's not always about having a list of traits that are useful for others to use, and tones down all the negativity that's been burning her away. there's nothing inherently wrong with the link, she gains confidence in herself and opens up to people. whether through cooking or talking about her problems with her friends, she comes to understand herself. as always, i would wish you had a more active role in these things rather than let everyone passively grow by debating about what they should and shouldn't do against a wall (you). the counter argument is that i do really like fuuka so it gets a pass.

i want to talk about ken and shinjiro at the same time because they end up being intrinsically linked together by the time their arcs peak. for starters, i find ken extremely charming. he's a nice kid, maybe too grown up for his own good but that's what makes him responsible and easy to talk to no matter the age difference. he also tries to act more grown up than he is, insisting that he likes his coffee black, that tokusatsu is actually lame and generally trying to hide what he's thinking or feeling. not entirely dissimilar to shinjiro, the stern looking buff guy with a heart of gold hidden within the trench coat he wears all day every day for the entirety of the year. seriously, it's so hot outside what is your issue.

now i did know that shinjiro died, because, once again, persona 3 fans cannot keep a secret. i saw someone casually mention he dies, then i talked to someone else and explained how "i read about a character dying but i'm not too sure about it". then, they proceeded to say "oh yeah, i know who you're talking about. worst part is that he was the strongest party member so all the levels and armor i put into him were worthless". way to be subtle! regardless, a little bit before the events of october 4th, shinjiro himself reveals to you that he doesn't have much time left in this world. both him and ken have been living in pain for the past 2 years, and this day is where they want to put that to rest. before ken comes out and says he wants to kill shinjiro with his own hands, he does show clear signs of something going on in his head so it doesn't entirely come out of nowhere. same for shinjiro being responsible for the death of his mother as there must have been some reason he quit school and has been loitering for the past year. what i'm not entirely sure i can buy, even now, is the fact that ken, a 10 year old boy, has been actively planning to kill this guy for the past 2 years. not only that, but also planning on killing himself after the fact.

take this as my interpretation of the character, i've discussed this entire thing with someone else at length and couldn't really come to a proper conclusion. ken explicitly says to shinjiro: "i've even though about killing myself", "i vowed to live until i found her killer", and, literally, "i'm gonna kill you". i, personally, take the slightly goofy, responsible type kid that amada is as the type to not conclude that the entire meaning of his life from age 8 onwards, to be the fact that he has to kill a guy and end it all. perhaps the idea was that he initially thought about suicide, later figured that it wasn't the way to go and revenge was the better option - and not, killing shinjiro and then killing himself. unsure. either way, i'm not here to talk about the mental stability of an 8 year old child and child suicide rates. i'm here to talk about ken amada.

the way he throws around "i even thought about killing myself" rings pretty hollow to me. as if killing himself was a phase he had. i fully understand that his mother was the only one he had. she meant the world for him, obviously it would destroy him. is he really that kind of kid though? i always took him as the strong, independent kind. did yukari go "i thought of killing myself" when her father died? did anyone else at sees think of "killing themselves" when they lost someone close to them when they were younger? now don't take me wrong, these are all serious topics and it's evident that different people will take such loss in different ways. i'm only trying to understand how ken would react to it. he's not "weak" for thinking about such dark outcome for himself because he lost someone close to him, it definitely affected him severely and that's all it is. for 2 entire years though? you're telling me he was exclusively thinking about this for 2 years? that as a 10 year old, this was his only goal in life. i just feel like i have to suspend my disbelief a little bit too much for ken amada of all people to say such things.

shinjiro, as valiant as he is, ends up sacrificing himself to save ken. he tells him that he's welcome to kill him, but warns him that it will haunt him for the rest of his life, just like it did for him. definitely where shinjiro's character shines the most. for a moment, ken himself thinks that his revenge is now worthless if he dies through other means, but it's clear that it would be hard to process such an event. the guy that killed your mom just saved your life. how would you feel about this? it's a lot of mixed signals and of course he's confused. so confused to leave sees for like half a week. who knows where to, he is still just a kid. it's beyond me whatever the hell he did on his own for those days, but i digress. at the same time, everyone does kind of forget the fact that ken literally tried to kill shinjiro by his own hands. whether he was successful or not doesn't entirely matter, his plan was to kill.

now this, as i take it, is probably a lapse in judgement from ken. sure, he may have pumped himself for a while to think he had to kill shinjiro. i don't think 2 years makes sense. i think as soon as he found out shinjiro was the one that killed his mom, he started thinking about it and it got to him. when time came to it, i don't believe he would actually be able to kill shinjiro. again, he's not that kind of kid. maybe my own head canon, but words like "i don't have anything else to live for" is a thing he would just say in the moment and not mean with further thought. in my head, it simply works out better as ken living in pain for that long, not being able to move past it entirely, hating the guy and blaming all on him. only then, he finds out who shinjiro is and thinks that killing him is the way to go. this, instead of living for 2 years with the sole goal of killing a guy. once it gets to it, shinjiro saves his life and he realizes how even though his reasons for hating him are fully justified. there's more to the story, more to shinjiro and more things that are worth living for.

shinjiro's death doesn't particularly hit me as hard as something like chidori's, most likely because i already knew it would happen. plus, the fact he does mention he will die regardless, but it's very resonant in it's own way. not because you're gonna die anyway it means your life means any less. i didn't really talk to him much before he passed and never even added him to my party, but you only realize how important the people around you are once they're gone. his death incites hope for the future. he leaves off with a smile and finally atoning for his sins for the last time. death isn't happy, but he makes the most of it by doing what he couldn't do last time. save a life.

koromaru is a dog. he's a good boy.

aigis may have ended up as my favorite character in the game. she's a special one. what was initially a pretty hollow, although goofy robot girl, whose only purpose was to defeat shadows and protect you for reasons neither of you understood, turned into a deeply caring, worrisome character who bears no resemblance to that of a machine. besides looks, that is. i have to commend sakamoto maaya of all people, for the excellent performance behind aigis. sakamoto has always been good at her job, but it was only recently that i've taken notice of how precise her performance can be. how the slight changes in the way she speaks sell a different version of the character, through age, personality, or growth along a span of time. aigis does look like a human and does sound like one, but doesn't talk like one. there's a lot she doesn't understand and a lot she doesn't know. evidently, as you grow and get to understand the world around you, you will clearly become "more human". if it were only in writing you would surely understand how much she learns through time. sakamoto just makes it incredibly grounded. even after aigis is gone for a while and everyone starts mentioning how she seems different, you feel that as well as a player. i can't say anything about the english va, i watched her play the game for a bit and she seems fun. i simply didn't play the game with english voices.

beyond that, aigis becomes an extremely fun character. she grows so much but you grow alongside her. i mean, we're all human (i hope) but how often do you actively think about what it means to be a person? what truly makes you human? she has all the characteristics of a human being, but she comes to the realization that she will never really become one. she's a machine, she can be repaired and come back to life. she will outlive everyone around her and there is nothing she can do about it. what she can do, however, is to keep the memories of everyone important to her. if she will outlive them, the memories of them will do as well. even if it's not for long that you've known her for, she means a lot to you and to everyone. you mean a lot to her, too. caring for others is what makes her human. so even with the body of a machine, one that can be repaired, she cannot be replaced.

with these freaks, you get the cast of persona 3. they're a special bunch. they have their issues, as any group does. as any person does, really. they have an enjoyable chemistry that doesn't explode from nowhere but does bloom as time goes on. not much is forced here, but even if a bit slow it manages to hold itself together nicely. even the casual group events that happen on every game with the beach, ryokan and banquet celebrations are, honestly, better than usual. the beach episode doesn't feel out of character. junpei is always the guy that will try to hit on girls even if he's really bad at it, and he gets made fun of for it instead of making it awkward for everyone involved. akihiko only does it because of a bet, as he would, so it's also fitting enough. with the ryokan they do sort of get into trouble "by accident" and do just want to leave quietly before anything happens. even if it's more because mitsuru would get angry and take their lives if she found out, but still. ryoji is more to blame about this than the rest of the guys, which i haven't talked to about yet.

ryoji is unabashedly himself. he gets little time to do much for him to become, like, a relevant character in my head. i find him really fun, though. he's charming and goofy. he's so clueless about everything that it becomes funny. more than a creep he's curious about others in every shape and form which leads to misunderstandings and questionable behavior, but generally funny nonetheless. i would like for him and his time on earth to have a bigger impact on the protagonist as he's supposed to be part of him after living "inside his body" for the past decade, but that leads into the ending itself.

the big thing goes last. i talk way too much about the characters when compared to the story. i like to think that i'm better at that, hence the priority, but this has been taking so long to write that my thoughts get all scrambled around and i forget half of the things i wanted to say. i started writing these things just so i could set my thoughts on paper before forgetting them! only 8 of these and the length has gone up 10 times, so, there's that. in between beating the game, starting this, adding one more year to my life counter and the moment of writing this sentence, they've announced the answer as the dlc to come out later in the year. i cannot talk about the answer since i haven't played it, obviously, but there are some things i know about it. as far as i'm concerned, the ending of the game is the only thing that matters right now. the answer may as well be the fanfiction epilogue written by someone at atlus, i don't care. i'm sticking to what i've played and what i know.

i've been insisting on how the game often employs the ludonarrative dissonance card throughout it's runtime and characters. this is what strikes me as particularly truthful towards the end.

in december, everyone is told the world will end. there is nothing they can do to stop it. if you decide to forget, everyone dies happy. otherwise, you can try your best and see what happens. january, the background music changes and the entire screen gets a saturation shift for every color to be slightly muted. persona loves to make things clear at times, but this one seems a little bit too on the nose even for persona standards. you know what would be cool? making small changes throughout the month until the fated day. only then, the music would slowly change for all to sound more somber and the entire city to look dead. it comes off as extremely weird because the dorm theme is still the same one, as well as the song that plays for jobs and social link events. i say you either go one way or the other, not both. make it so everything is purposely dark, somber and sad. go all the way with it and have everyone around you react to it. i don't really see the point in doing this change so out of nowhere myself. it feels dumb. it doesn't really fit either. add the fact that half of the month is wasted on nothing because you can't talk to any school related social link until vacations are over, and it feels like a pretty stupid month leading up to the grand finale.

must say, the takaya fight was harder than nyx. not sure why that guy has more health. he also just drains your entire sp like it's nothing - he's crazy. nyx you can kind of beat in 1 or 2 moves for every phase. it's not that interesting of a fight, but i like the design. once you're done with nyx, you get a call from igor about how friendship gives you infinite power to seal nyx forever. "the power of friendship surges within you", since you've supposedly made the necessary bonds to garner a power unlike anything else. strong enough to sustain the heavy blows by this godlike entity, and strong enough to use your final ability "great seal". now, supposedly, since this skill uses up all of your hp no matter your level or items, the idea is that you're effectively using all your life force. had i not looked it up after beating the game i really do not think i would've ever thought about this connection on my own. maybe i'm stupid? i sure didn't read what the skill even did when using it, less so how much hp was necessary to use it. i cannot say with confidence anyone else checks that before hitting the final blow on the last boss of the game. if i understand right, what people infer from this and the events in march is quite simple. guy has no more hp (so literally, his life) -> waits until he could fulfill his promise -> dies. is this what has been getting hyped up since 2006?

genuinely, what are we working with here? i fully support the idea of killing your protagonist. i think that is fabulous. i only struggle to find it appealing in the way it's done here. first off: really? he uses all his hp in battle and dies? we know for a fact battles as shown in game aren't applicable to a real scenario. is the implication that your party members legitimately die and are brought back to life mid battle with a simple item? i do not find the idea of a skill you forcefully have to use to finish the game as a cool "got you". do we, as players, actively decide to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of those we love? does the protagonist do this on his own? if we're talking about a skill used to seal a god you just unlock in this particular scenario, of which you have no further info of, with the supposed strongest persona imaginable, with the help of the bonds you've crafted along the way, i don't buy it one bit. what i see as the weirdest thing in all of this is the fact that he doesn't even die right then and there. he's back up and kicking as soon as the fight is over. it takes a whole month for the guy to die, even though he's supposed to have been completely drained.

everyone forgot about what happened, except for you and aigis. i'm not sure why our main character remembers, but at least the player will obviously do. just when you're supposed to all meet up in the roof as you promised, they finally end up remembering and come running to you. you get this really nice cutscene with everyone running full of joy knowing what they've accomplished and what the future promises for them. you're dead, though. dead corpse in the roof. not that any of this is shown as a tragedy since it's presented as more of a happy moment than anything. the game ends. was this the promise he had to keep? what about ken and fighting him again when he gets stronger? what about whoever you romanced and promising to be by their side? what about aigis saying she wants to be alongside you forever? what about literally anyone you ever talked to expecting you to be by their side lending them a hand when they most need it? i'm really sorry, i just cannot think that this the only thing that mattered before passing away.

as i get it, the argument seems to be how it lines up with the theme of the game and the idea of death. not that death isn't a prominent idea in the game, but i would argue the only reason you are facing death is because you literally are facing Death, not because you get what death is. death isn't nice, it's a tragedy. "facing death" is about accepting that people can pass on and leave things behind, not literally dying and being okay with it. jesus christ, we're talking about a 17 year old highschool student. it doesn't matter if he gets what death means, he hasn't been alive for even half of what the average human lifespan would be. persona 3 is about loneliness. that's the theme. loneliness always comes along with death. the death of our loves ones making us feel alone. loneliness, and finding the people you live to fight that loneliness. the people by our side that will help us get out of our worst moments. the ones that will help us grief and bright our days back up. please, kill the main character - but make it meaningful, not a plot device.

you know how i take this as? making friends kills you. i played the game, i talked to people, i made friends, i made lovers. all of this for them to give me the power to defeat god and for it to kill me. this is the ultimate power you have cultivated. my actions as a player ultimately don't matter because you are there to die at the end of it all. you used a skill in battle and it killed you. sorry!

now, let me backtrack a bit. i knew the main character died at the end of the game way before i played the thing. it's another one of those things people cannot keep to themselves. no matter how slick you think you are by posting the same screenshot every march, i can imagine what is going on here. i had my own theories of how this would happen. clearly, Death had been living inside of you for this long. you are intrinsically tied to the fate of the world. surely, if you kill Death, you kill a part of yourself. maybe nyx had its fate tied to you. maybe it's as easy as a noble sacrifice for the sake of others. it's none of the above, apparently. you finish the fight, a month goes by and you go to the roof. it might've been clear already but i need to be frank, i had to look up what the ending was supposed to mean. rather, what people interpret it as. great seal skill and all.

now, see, had i not read about him dying or other theories, i'm not completely sure if that's what i would've concluded it as. after looking at it in retrospect, yeah, dies. he's extremely tired by march, he needs to close his eyes and rest. rest for how long? you decide. the problem to me is how unclear the reason for all of this seems to be. okay, so he died. let's track down the reason. why did he die? he beat nyx and kept living for another month, so why now? they never said anything about his life being tied to nyx either, so that can't be it. absolutely no idea. okay - so it's because of the stupid skill at the end of the fight. whatever, sure. why didn't he die back then? why did it take an entire month for anything to happen to him? does he just toughen out death for that long? i couldn't tell you. turns out, it's because that's the day they promised to meet up no matter happened. yeah, sure, that makes sense. what about literally every other promise he made the month before and months before that? was that the only thing that ever mattered? to meet up at the roof on graduation day? you know what fucks me up: he doesn't even fucking meet them! he takes his beauty sleep before they even get there! so you couldn't even fucking keep that promise anyway!

you know what doesn't kill you? sleep. actually, that's a lie, you can die on your sleep pretty easily. the way this entire scene is written and shot (or animated, i suppose) does not strike me as anything close to a death. i understand that it is, because aigis is crying, because you don't want to "sleep" but it will happen anyway, because you're literally fading to black, and because the guy just taking a nap may be a little bit boring. i say he could be taking a nap. who gives a damn! the ending is open ended enough for you to bring whatever the hell you want into it. does he wake up shortly after and they celebrate? why not? it makes as much sense as him breaking all those other promises and amassing the power of friendship to kill himself. you'll have a bit of trouble defending your head canon once the answer rolls up, unfortunately. guess he really is dead!

i will sustain that it's left open ended on purpose. it may be a little bit self explanatory, yes, but as long as it's not spelling out anything directly at you, you can take it as you will. the idea of coming up with an epilogue that blatantly details what happened seems off the mark to me, but at the same time i can't criticize a piece of story content i haven't seen, so that's all i can say.

i liked persona 3 reload. it's a fun game. it has great music, generally fun gameplay and enjoyable characters. it's not my favorite persona game by far, but it has many redeeming qualities to it that make it a really interesting entry. i deeply enjoy the dichotomies between themes, settings and aspects for persona 3, 4 and 5 a whole lot, which makes each one of them stand out in their own right. the more i played and as time passed, i started wondering how much i actually care about persona 4. i'm not too sure about it by now. i should probably replay it at some point, but this has taken way too long to write so here goes nothing. it's been one year and one day since i created this account. thank you for reading.

#review #game review #media analysis #persona 3 reload #video games

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