#some coloring methods on and practice painting

[non4ry]

drugs with friends

[sierrawitch]

Scottish Divination Practices

by autumn sierra

The Frith

The Frith—translating to “to find”—is a divination charm practice used to gain insight into the future, specifically about missing people or predicting events. Traditionally performed on the first Monday of a quarter, the frithir (seer) would stand in a doorway at sunrise, cross their hands or fingers to represent the equal armed cross, and observe the landscape for omens found in birds, animals, or weather patterns.

The Ritual of the Frith

Traditionally performed on a solstice or equinox at a liminal time such as dusk or dawn. Frithers would often fast to heighten spiritual sensitivity, as well as use Saining water to bless themselves

Frithers would step past a threshold of the home or other significant place (crossroads, old well, etc) to stand with either foot on opposite sides, symbolizing standing between two worlds

Observed images, animals, environmental phenomena, etc were used to divine answers to questions or prophesy

Saining

Although the practice of saining is used to cleanse and bless primarily through the use of smoke, water, fire, etc, it can also be used as a method of divination. During the saining, the diviner would pay close attention to the movement of smoke and flames of burnt herbs—specifically Juniper, which is a traditional saining herb.

An Dà Shealladh (Second Sight)

An Dà Shealladh is a prophetic ability occurring through visions, and was often associated with Highland seers. Those with the ability were said to see spirits, wraiths, or omens of death and misfortune which would give them insight into future events. It was said to be hereditary, and some speculate that the ability may have unfortunately become dormant in the descendants of previous seers.

Hearth Divination

Once logs had been added to the fire of the home’s hearth and burned, diviners could read the behavior of the wood in response to the flames. Sparks and cracks had varying indications, as well as ashes which could be read similarly to how one reads tea leaves.

Mirror/Water Scrying

Water and mirror scrying are popular forms of divination in modern practice. Scrying with darkened, spiritually significant bodies of water (wells, lochs, lakes, bulláns, etc) was very effective for identifying shapes and visions within the water’s reflection (or lack thereof). In a similar way, darkened mirrors—or black mirrors—are use to mimic this effect. The keek-stane, most commonly known by its mention in Raymond Buckland’s Scottish Witchcraft & Magick, is something of a cousin to the black mirrors that are most popular today in that it uses a glass lens rather than a flat pane.

Creating a Keek-Stane

Find and obtain a glass lens, preferably one from an old clock or thermometer face, or one made specifically to be just that—a lens (frequently found in the scientific community)

Black out the lens using black paint on the convex side, careful to make the color as solid as possible without streaking or trapping dust. Be sure that the convex side is completely opaque with no light passing through

Place the lens convex-side down in a protective container of choice (Buckland specifies a box) with the proper materials to keep it in place and keep it from breaking

Oomancy

Egg divination, or oomancy, was a common form of folk divination often performed at Samhainn, Latha Bealltainn, or Hogmanay. It was mostly used to predict marriage, future events, or fortune. An egg would be cracked into a bowl of water, and then the diviner would interpret the shapes made by the egg whites.

Salt and Wax Divination

This method of divination is achieved by pouring salt or hot wax into water. The patterns and shapes created through this method would then be interpreted by the diviner. This method of divination was commonly used during Samhainn and Hogmanay.

Scapulomancy

Scapulomancy is a divination method in which seers would divine the future by interpreting the shoulder blades of animals (usually sheep). Cracks, dents, and other abnormalities in the bones would change the outcomes of the readings. Some would use fire to create the cracks necessary to read the bone, and others would read the natural bone as it was following its cleaning. Scapulomancy was used for predicting weather and harvests, guidance for battles, monitoring the well being of communities, and other fortune telling.

Stone and Fairy Mound Divination

Stones, Hagstones in particular, were believed to enhance An Dà Shealladh when peered through. Visiting fairy mounds at Samhainn and listening to the wind or the whispers of the fair folk and other spirits was another way to divine the future.

[gynandromorph]

the colors on idletry drive me crazy in the best way. even when the art has the 'correct' colors it still gives the vibe of a painted cel that only had a handful of shades to work with, you keep the values so consistent. so my question is, is there a rhyme or reason to how you shift hue from panel to panel, or is it all intuition from a shit ton of practice? does it have rules? if this has already been asked then i apologize for wasting your time. the analysis and explanation of your process is just very interesting and useful.

i actually have a whole ass post about the coloring style on my patreon.

colors are selected with ~5 primary methods: 1) selecting for mood. the red foreboding panels need no explanation for why i picked them. 2) selecting one color i wanted to be dominant, then coloring the rest of the image around them, usually making the background either complementary or neighboring colors. 3) altering colors from the previous panel to "slide" the hue to a nearby color. 4) selecting for symbolism. many panels have hot pink or teal as representations for jessie and shiloh either overtaking the panel or lurking in the background. or 5) copying a previous panel's colors as a reference or callback to the previous panel and its contents. these methods can obviously be combined, such as with the three shots of the city, which slide to progressively go from blue and green to being overtaken by pinks and purples, so 3, 4, and 5 all contributing to palette decisions. i've really been trying to avoid nurturing "rules" and going with what looks nice and feels right, but a list of my reasoning can make it easier to understand how i got to the choices here. i'm typing it now because i will forget my thought process otherwise, lol. some of the panels i left looking "bad" to me to have a reference for what i didn't like, and it'll all blend together without writing down what i was thinking.

here's a small sample...

there are gradients, but objects don't necessarily slide at the same pace. i don't necessarily color the panels in order and there can be a "goal" color that i have to work backwards from as well.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Some Art Vocabulary

Abstract - Simplified, intended to capture an aspect or essence of an object or idea rather than to represent reality.

Amber - Tree resin that has become a fossil. It is semi-transparent and gem-like. Amber is used in jewelry today as it has been for thousands of years.

Amulet - Object, organic or inorganic, believed to provide protection and turn away bad luck. Amulets were often worn as jewelry in antiquity.

Anneal - To heat metal to make it soft and pliable.

Black-figure - Technique of vase painting developed in Greece in the 7th and 6th centuries BCE and adopted by the Etruscans. Figures are painted on a reddish clay vase in black silhouette and details are then cut away with a sharp point down to the red below. Sometimes artists added additional colors, especially purple-red and white.

Bronze Disease - Corrosion of a bronze object that cannot be permanently stabilized. Without special care, an object with bronze disease will continue to corrode.

Bust - Portrait of a person including the head and neck, and sometimes the shoulders and part of the chest.

Cameo Glass - Glass produced by layering two or more colors of glass. Generally, an upper layer of white stood out against a contrasting lower background, usually blue.

Cameo Stone - Hard stone, such as agate, naturally layered with bands of color. Artists took advantage of the layers to carve figures or decoration from an upper layer (or more than one), leaving a background layer of a different color.

Cast - To make in a mold from liquid metal. A cast object can be hollow or solid.

Chasing - Technique of adding definition and details to an image or design on metal from the front using blunt and sharp tools.

Conservator (of antiquities) - Professional responsible for preserving ancient objects and materials. Conservators usually have a general knowledge of chemistry and of ancient art-making practices and are often specialists in one material. Among many other responsibilities, they conduct technical and historical research and oversee preventive care such as climate control.

Contrapposto - (”opposite” in Italian) Pose of a standing figure with most of the weight on one leg and the other bent. This causes hips, shoulders, and head to shift in order to balance the body. One arm is often higher and one lower.

Emery - Hard, dense rock rich in corundum, found easily on the Cycladic Islands. A powerful abrasive for grinding and smoothing other stones.

Encaustic - Technique of painting using colored pigments mixed with wax. The waxy mixture was worked with a tiny spatula.

Gild - To apply a thin layer of gold foil or liquid gold (gilt) to create the look of solid gold.

Iconography - Study of and use in art of repeated images with symbolic meaning.

Incise - To press or cut into a surface (stone, metal, clay, wood) with a sharp tool to write text or create fine curving and linear details.

Inlay - To decorate an object by inserting a piece of another material into it so that it is even with the original surface.

Low Relief - Method of carving figures or designs into a surface so that they are raised slightly above a flat background.

Mosaic - Technique and type of artwork. The technique is to arrange cubes of stone, glass, and ceramic to form patterns and pictures in cement, usually on a floor. The artwork is the final story or decoration made of cubes.

Mummification - Process of preserving a body by drying it. The Egyptians removed internal organs and put natron, a natural mineral mixture, on and inside the body. This absorbed moisture and prevented decay.

Palmette - Stylized palm leaf used as decoration in ancient Greek and Roman art and architecture.

Pentelic - From Mount Pentelicus, near Athens. An adjective that mostly refers to the beautiful white Greek marble marble in its quarries.

Portrait - Image of a person, usually the head and face. Some portraits include part of the chest or show the whole body. The image may closely resemble a person or emphasize, idealize, or invent characteristics.

Repoussé - Technique of raising the outline of a design on metal by repeatedly heating and softening the metal and pushing the desired shapes into it from the back with a blunt tool.

Sarcophagus/Sarcophagi (pl) - Stone coffin, often decorated on the sides with mythological scenes carved in relief, sometimes with the image of the deceased person or couple on the lid. Used in Imperial Roman times from the early 100s into the 400s CE.

Stele/Stelai (pl) - Upright stone or wooden slab or pillar used to honor a person or mark a place. Often an inscribed grave marker or a boundary stone. (Also called stela/stelae.)

Syncretism - Blending of elements of different cultures, often resulting in new imagery or new interpretations.

Tessera/tesserae (pl) - Pieces of stone or other hard materials cut into squares or cubes to make mosaic art.

More: Word Lists ⚜ pt. 2

[shakingparadigm]

Once again, I can't really gather my thoughts cohesively on this right now, so please bear with me. Just musing, so the ideas here might be a bit disconnected.

As a prodigy artist well-versed in more than just singing, it's no suprise that art is a prominent part of Till's character. Everything associated with Till seems to carry his eccentric artistic talent, right down to the abstract symbols painted onto his otherwise blank white t-shirt.

(Till's sketching and drawing seem to go hand-in-hand with his songwriting. Doodling and composition are two of his hobbies, and he's stated to be talented at both.)

(His appearance in TOP 3 emphasizes this messy, artistic angle. The symbols painted on the wall are similar to graffiti tags, usually associated with youth and rebellion. Furthermore, there is paint splattered on his face, staining color onto his disheveled hair and baggy clothes.)

(Even amongst the TOP 3, Till is presented with the most color. Between Luka and Ivan's main colors of white and black, their formal attire and elegant, charming personas, Till looks rather out of place.)

(Till's personal/special talent is floral art.)

Art is an integral part of Till's character, something that defines him and his desire for self-expression and freedom (it's no suprise that when Till loses his will to live in ROUND 6, he's dressed in plain and monochromatic clothes that lack any of his own artistic touch). Despite the ties between creativity and freedom, Till's talents are regularly taken advantage of and even tampered with due to the treatment he receives from his owner.

Guardian Urak is an eccentric segyein. A hustler, materialistic and rather pretentious. He shows great pride in Till's "uniqueness" and artistic ability, boasting that he has raised the best human-pet in history. In order to create the success that is Till, however, Urak had to execute his methods on several other pets beforehand. His practices include the thorough abuse of his human pets in order to coax out their talents, pushing them to their limits with harsh training regimens and painful experiments. Violence is a tactic utilized heavily within Urak's line of business, and the human pets under his ownership are the most openly abused.

Urak is said to abuse his pets to the point of severe mental issues. It's due to these mental issues that his previous pets have failed to achieve victory, showing great promise but never making it to the end. He seems to believe in the idea that the peak of a human's talent is tied with their instability, that the more talented a pet human is, they more likely they are to be a freak.

Urak pushes forward with the mistreatment of his humans despite their suffering. He believes it to be a part of creating exemplary art, playing into the idea of a tortured artist. Urak's pets were incredibly talented and top contenders for the title of champion. If not for their heavily deteriorated mental states, they would have brought Urak to victory long ago. It's quite clear that he does not intend on changing his methods because the humans he produces are some of the best products around. He doesn't want to change his methods, he wants a human that can withstand them.

Till's style is already established to be unique, nicknamed a "black sheep" in his official magazine page, emphasizing individuality. His brazen aggression in ROUND 2 caused him to attract much hate, but twice as many fans, too. The bashing of Freddie was framed as a bombastic and somewhat avant-garde performance act, referred to as art. Till's public persona was that of an eccentric and unpredictable artist, a highly reactive contrarian pet who presents both a high risk and high reward. Urak has produced another tortured artist, except this one is different (in his words, unrivaled). A higher caliber of pet, bringing him the closest to winning he's ever gotten thus far.

Till's various artistic talents seem to be things that he has developed on his own, stemming from his own desires and interests rather than something forced onto him by Urak. In one of VIVINOS and QMENG's livestreams it was stated that Till is inherently gifted, a creative genius since birth. Till uses his abilities as tools of rebellion and self-expression, writing his own music, vandalizing and adjusting segyein-provided material and outfits in order to make them more his own. It's unfortunate that even Till's attempts at rebellion are taken advantage of and instead used against him. Constantly battered and bruised, isolated in a cell, forced to endure experimentation, all of his artistic ingenuity and creations have been taken by the segyein and used to promote him as a product. He has been turned into a spectacle, his misery and abuse put on display for others to gawk at. Suffering for the sake of art.

[ooliecat]

Can I ask How do you color and render your art? I frickin love the way you choose colors esp for lighting and bounce light, it's really pretty

thanks so much :) this took a little bit because i'm not a teacher. but hope you can understand some concepts i put out.

I'm going to go over mostly on how I shade/render. Picking out initial base colors is something that just comes with practice, preference, and from someone more eloquent.

The top is what 'not' to do. The bottom is generally what i do.

below is another example

i could do more. i meant to do more. but every other tip/tutorial i tried doing seemed like i was teaching abc's. I realized i don't know exactly what was being asked. I do have a few general tips though.

my process usually goes: Sketch, lineart, coloring, filtering/post processing.

'Post processing' can be a lot of things like; Painting over the drawing(fixing errors or adding details), or adding a noise filter, adding an overlaying photo. And/or changing the colors with gradient maps.

If you use a program that supports gradient maps then use them. they can be your best friend. Especially when colors don't look cohesive or just how you want them to.

Experiment with layer modes. At the moment I'm really into Pin-Light and Luminosity. Like I said, experiment. This is included in post-processing.

Use more than one shading color for each section. Go darker, go lighter while using that color picking method. Ex: It's usually darker under the neck than the side of the face. So use a darker color than the face.

if anythings confusing or you'd like something more specific then you're more than welcome to ask.

[ohno-the-sun]

Oh uh forgot to ask in the previous ask (the one with the digital piece of candy and scurrying and stuff)

How do you draw art so good

Like

Is there a method you use or is that just the style you've gotten over time?

you've activated my trap card

I'm just gonna preface that this tutorial is from someone who was not professionally trained and didn't have a lot of free time for art, so a lot of the tips I have is short cuts I use to get the best results quickly

If you genuinely want to get better at art then please look at references and practice that is always the best

However if you are like me and only really do art for fun but want to go faster then these are for you pfppt

Overall I'd say my style is influenced by speedpaints I would watch when I was younger, I like analyzing how people do things and what makes something look "good" to me

I always recommend watching them because they will often have techniques you've never seen before or do things a certain way that you can try out yourself

I consume good art, it feeds me

but seriously it can be super helpful when developing your own methodology, or just generally trying something new

Usually it starts with me pulling some references from artists I really admire and sort of sketching out how they do the things I like

For example 8um8le has like super good anatomy and poses so I focused on trying to replicate how they do that

venemous-qwille is super good at color and pulling focus so that's what I focused on in my study of them

In general I'd say my process is sketch -> silhouette -> color -> shading -> render

I really don't like doing lineart lol

I'd say for the sketch the most important part is using references and just kind of fudging it until it looks correct anatomically/physically

General rule of thumb is spend time on areas of interest, and keep non important areas light (like the stitching on his pants)

I don't do lineart because I think its unnecessary for most paintings I do

I naturally tend to put more time and focus on areas of interest (like hands and feet) and if you use a brush with opacity for the sketch, those areas are naturally going to be darker in the final sketch

Of course this is gonna be different for everyone but it's what works for me

Sometimes I do a really really sketchy layer underneath my sketch/lineart, just so I know where everything is going

Use thumbnails! They are great to help figure out the general layout of things and what pose I wanna do

Next is what I call the "silhouette" layer

This is super important for me cause it helps me refine the figure and make sure the pose/anatomy looks correct, also depending on what color I choose for the silhouette helps guide what colors I'm going to use on top

This piece is a good example of how it works. The silhouette shows me how the figure interacts with the background, how the pose looks and if its any good

The silhouette layer doesn't have to be super clean, as long as it follows the sketch decently well and shows where the figure is then its fine

I also sometimes make the silhouette layer multiple colors to help guide shading and vibe

Next is the coloring layer. I usually make this a clipping layer on top of the silhouette layer, or I change the silhouette layer to alpha lock, either way it saves me time on coloring everything in

Sometimes I am super rough with the coloring too, using like an airbrush or my fav watercolor brush just to generically block in color where I want it

Works out cause most objects have like a bounce light to them from surrounding objects, so this is sort of a cheat I use to get that effect without all the work lol

Also don't be afraid to have the lower silhouette layer shining through, having multiple colors sort of subtly shining through the piece helps lots

Next is the shading layer, this is usually another clipping layer, usually set to "multiply"

The colors I pick here is usually within this range, any color works, just depends on the piece and vibes.

Since this piece is set in a sunset forest I choose a more desaturated orange for the shading layer

I know there's a whole thing about multiply layer being a crutch (and it kind of it) but it is a useful tool when you just want some darker values across the piece but don't want to go through the process of color picking every single darker shade

Also in my opinion it looks better than picking a darker color and setting it to a lower opacity, idk I just think the color has more "depth"

Next is the hardest to explain, sort of the vibes layer

Usually its just a layer of more concentrated color on top of the normal color and I fudge with the settings and values until I get a result I like

Next is the longest step, is the "extra" or the render stage.

Usually I add a background before this step so that if I need to merge the figure better with the background I can

If I render with a white background but he's supposed to be in a dark forest, its going to mess with the lighting severely

Also this is when I add more "vibe" layers on top to get the figure to match the background better

Backgrounds in general I recommend checking out @/derekdomnicdsouza on instagram he's got lots of great tutorials for breaking down backgrounds simply

I'd say general rule for the rendering layer is to focus on the areas of interest and spend less time on areas you don't care about

I even blur stuff out on the edges I don't want people to see, partially to save time on fixing mistakes in areas I dont care about (oop), but mainly to help draw the eye to the areas I do want people to focus on

Theoretically parts of the background should like mesh with the characters, parrallel lines are a no no unless they are directing a viewer to look somewhere, things that are perpendicular help bring things together

tbh I'm still not the best at layout and probably need more practice, but overall this is what I like doing

Overall this is what my layer set up ends up being

Sort of a sandwich with the lineart/sketch as the "meat" lol

Color and basic shading below the sketch, clean-up and rendering on top

I like this method cause it's super flexible if I ever want to try something different or try to replicate someone's style

I can make each step less or more messy depending on the end result and can add a lineart layer if need be. Also if there's a part that is straight up not working or needs to be removed its super easy to do cause I can just paint over it on the "extras" layer, color picking from the surrounding area to get the same vibe

Generally rule of thumb for my style is: get the initial layout of colors, form and shading to look good, then the rendering should be smooth sailing

Really the best advice I can give to get better at art is to enjoy what you're doing and become very very obsessed with drawing a silly little guy

You'll eventually get very good at drawing them pfptpf

[comikbook]

hii

I want to learn how to paint people, and I wad wondering if u have any tips? I rlly like your self-potraits alot and ur style of painting urself is something I want to achieve

I dont have to opportunities to go to art school but I still want to learn! any advice would be grand :)

thanks!

I do !! im not the best at explaining my process but i will try.

I think as a base level starting out some of my best advice is to practice drawing over a photograph. doing this repeatedly will give you an idea of where the features lie, start with tracing the entire image, to just the main features, to just the “bare bones” of the face.

as you get more comfortable with each step and take away detail it will be easier to understand and figure out on your own where these things look right placement wise.

im not the type of person to follow the standard templates or rules for learning certain art methods. i dont like vanishing points, i dont like measuring out the body with this person is whatever heads tall. i do better just going by what i see and replicating that.

when i first started with portraits the style way very different. i would make things very geometric only using flat colors to define the planes of the face. this was really helpful for me as well ! and as i got to understand things more i would transition into more traditional rendering.

heres some of that old art:

i would go into more depth with the rendering process etc but i do not want to overwhelm you !! so this is my advice on starting out :) i hope it offers some insight at least.

[vxiphoid]

ARTIST’S CANVAS

❨ summary ❩ twst › when you look at a pretty blank canvas, its only natural you’d want to turn it into something more breathtaking.

tags ✧ fluff; lower case writing.

amanuensis’ message ⊹ 10 months, not a single written fic. i am so sorry yall

⌜ 0.4+ ⌟

♫ spin you round — rocco.

twst masterlist

“s’cold.”

the dark—almost black—paste coating leona’s hand in intricate designs setting on his skin mixed with the warmth of your hands around his felt funny. the paste was a drastic contrast upon his tawny skin. on occasion, he’d let your creative mind take over and draw on him with any writing utensil that was nearby. in class, it’d give him an excuse not to pay attention and in his dorm, your lap to sleep while you worked. half of the time when you were finished, he considered getting another tattoo, snapping a picture when you looked away just in case it faded. not once had he thought of a temporary tattoo.

the first thing that came to mind when he thought of temporary were the ones on paper that you’d transfer with water. ones that he’d slap on his body to look cool as a kid. the same ones that’ll start peeling the moment you brush it wrong. this was a completely different method than what he was thinking. a creamy consistency of dye in a piping bag. henna. it rolled off the tongue as smooth as its application.

a light laugh leaves your lips at his comment, pausing to give him a quick glance. he looked like a cat watching a ping pong match. you don’t think you’ve ever seen his pupils this large and his slowly swaying tail certainly wasn’t helping the comparison.

leona watched in silent interest as you worked. It had to be something about your hands. How your pinky stayed out for stabilization, how carefully you held his hand as if you’d break it if you moved him a certain way. then again, he could also blame that on the amount of focus you had. they moved with practiced grace, your emerald-green painted nails glinting under the golden lamp light.

his sheets were littered with various templets and stencils complicated, simple, and some in the middle. he didn’t look at everything before he chose his. he didn’t exactly care what you put on him as long as that pretty little head of yours was having some semblance of fun, those talented hands of yours.

his ear flicks. “what color is this again?”

you take a moment to pull his hand closer to the light when it came down to the finer details. “regular old brown. it might look a little reddish in the sun though.”

“neon?”

you scoff out a laugh. “gods, no. way more subtle.”

even after you had laughed, your smile stayed—as heartwarming and raw as ever. like a sweetener in a cup of coffee he could never get tired to drinking or the smell of gas he found a guilt pleasure. gods, he wanted to hear it again.

maybe being a living, plain canvas wasn’t so bad. as long as it was you painting the blank spots needing filled.

[creature-wizard]

Closet Witchcraft: How To Get Witchy When You Can't Come Out Of The Broom Closet

Some basic/general tips for being a closet witch. (If you are in a severely abusive household, be sure to scroll down to the end.)

Cultivate some skills

Many skills can be put to witchy purposes if you're determined. Consider gardening, cooking, sewing, crochet, scrapbooking, painting, drawing, calligraphy, woodworking, carving, or literally any craft skill you can start practicing. If you knit a scarf with colors chosen for their magical symbolism or make a little owl sculpture as a charm to help you retain knowledge, nobody but you has to know.

Study and learn about nature

Start learning about plants, animals, geology, ecology, or whatever catches your interest. Get into the habit of observing nature wherever you are, and observing how humans and nature interact and affect each other.

Use everyday items where you can

You can practice divination with poker cards or dice, and your phone can serve as a scrying mirror. You can use a pendant or metal washer for pendulum divination.

As for cleansing, a literal wash in water is fine for any object that won't get damaged. You can use literally any cleaning tool or method with magical intent.

You can use your fingers in place of prayer beads, using either whole fingers or individual knuckles.

You can also use your fingers to trace symbols and runes on stuff.

You can represent your deities using art or knickknacks representing their symbols, like a small cat statue for Bast.

On keeping witchy literature (grimoires, Books of Shadows, printed books, etc.)

Keeping an online grimoire/BOS and getting witchy books in ebook format is often a good option.

Certain methods of practice can also reduce the amount of literature you need to keep on hand. (For example, learning correspondence through observation, using this model of deity/entity work, or practicing energy work.)

If no one is likely to go through your things, keeping your grimoire/BOS in a plain three-ring binder may be enough to avoid detection. (Camouflage is a great friend when hiding things.)

More on hiding things

So you might want something a little fancy, like a tarot deck or a more witchy-looking piece of decor.

If people aren't likely to go through your stuff or come in without knocking, you can keep a lot of things in a drawer or small storage box when you have to. Simple padlocks will be enough to keep small children and the typical casual guest out of your things.

To hide small objects, you can also get an opaque vase and fake flowers, put your witchy stuff in the bottom of the vase, and put the flowers on top.

You can also place a toilet paper tube inside a glass jar and fill it with something like small rocks, seashells, beads, buttons, or candies. (There's a tutorial for this kind of here. Though you won't need to wrap the toilet paper tube in wrapping paper, of course.)

If the jar is higher than the tube, you can glue a circle of cardboard to the bottom of the tube so you can rest it on top a layer of your filling so that it comes up to the jar's mouth.

If you want to use something like a sauce jar and want to take the label off completely, remember that oil will dissolve the adhesive.

Stuffed animals can be turned into hiding spaces. There are many tutorials out there for this.

Pieces of paper can be slipped into books. Thus you can conceal witchy reference sheets.

If you are in a seriously unhealthy situation

I wrote the above with people who don't live in severely abusive homes in mind. Like maybe the people you live with would flip out if they discovered that you're practicing witchcraft and maybe then you might be in danger, but they aren't likely to go snooping through all of your stuff and aren't going to hurt you because you breathed wrong. If you do live in a highly abusive household, I recommend checking out my post "I'm in a bad place and need to get out, what can I do?" and checking out this thread of abusive home survival tips. (These aren't witchcraft resources - they're resources to help you survive and escape.)

[pinkpigtailsprincess]

𝜗𝜚 ݁ ˖ Summer Glow up: creating new habits 🎀⭐️ *࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ!

Hi Dolls!! Welcome Back 2 Dollies 2 Months of Summer Glow Up !! 🎀⭐️ Today im gonna talk all about implementing brand new habits in my life !!

> Hobbies !! 🎀

> Academics !! 📒

> Beauty Care !! 🧖‍♀️

> Scheduling !! ☀️

> Taking Baby Steps !! 🛼

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Hobbies!! 🎀

…: This Summer I Plan on Taking up Some brand New Hobbies to keep my self busy and learn about brand new things bc everyday is useful!! and so i can use my time more wisely some hobbies i have in mind are…

- Yoga

- Painting

- Creative Writing

- Learning Japanese + Spanish

- Reading

- Puzzles!

- Blogging

- Learning To Code

- Doll Collecting

- Book Collecting

- Sewing + Crocheting

- Digital Art

- Piano

and obvii im already a blogger but i still added it anyways i will watching videos on how to get into these hobbies and videos on learning Spanish and more Japanese, also fun fact i’ve actually been studying Japanese sine 2021 but i stopped bc it got to hard but im starting back up!! anyways, after i watch the videos im gonna set up a financial list bc i have the fund all of these but its okay bc i can easily get money!! 🎀

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Academics !! 🎀

More Goals of mine are to raise my grades in an academic space bc i do have decent grades but i wanna aim higher and have PERFECT Grades so in turn that means i must study more and have more discipline and not so irresponsible with my time!! and i also wanna study subjects outside of school bc its always good to learn something new!! now for learning tips so far i have..

- Flash Cards

- Practice Methods

- Teaching Someone Else

- Trying to explain it to a 5 yr old

- Study a Week Before

- watch ted talks on topics

- SLEEP

- write out notes

Now i Also Have a list of subjects i want to learn about!!

- drawing facial expressions + bodies

- Sewing Stiches + How to Hem and Crochet

- How 2 Draw Bodies + Poses

- Full Anatomy 4 Both Genders

- Japanese + Spanish + French + ASL

- Color Theory

- Learning Cursive + Improving Handwriting

- Expanding Vocabulary

- Religious Cults

- Case and Law

- Poison and Toxicology

- Astronomy

- Medical Surgical Instruments

- Matriarchal Societies

- Socialism Societies

Now i definitely won’t be able to do all of this all at once bc it would definitely we too stressful so im gonna choose as least 2-3 to start with and study them and just learn! 🎀🧁

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Beauty Care !! 🐬

📧: Now I already have my regular beauty care regime skin,hair,eyebrows,eyelashes etc. but im also more focused on getting weekly treatments & weekly beauty care habits like…

- Nails

- Hair

- Eyelashes

- Face Mask

- Hand + Foot Mask

And i wanna try and find people in my city that can do this especially for nails bc i would go to the nail salon but i feel like they won’t be able to do it exactly how i want it to be !!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Scheduling !! ⭐️

Now That im gonna be so busy i need to make sure i also stay organized with my time so it doesn’t lead to stress so ill have my regular school classes on my regular schedule then making dedicated hours to studying Things i wanna learn about + Language Learning!

My Workouts are always early morning before school in the evening hours before i got to bed so i won’t have to worry about that affecting my academics. With my Hobbies i feel like only some of them really need scheduling so ill also make time dedicated to those as well !!!!

Beauty Maintenance will probably always be on weekends for the stuff that weekly/bi weekly like face masks,manipedis,hair etc!!

and last but definitely not least!!

❤︎ ໋𓈒 Taking Baby Steps !! ⭐️

This whole process is still all new too me so i’ll definitely only be doing a little at a time and working my way up and i get more familiar with the change in my daily life and i won’t pressure my self to complete everything extremely quickly and just take my time with everything! bye bye dolls tysm 4 keeping up with me while doing this kisses 4 all of u!!! 🎀⭐️

[nebuladreamerrr]

Hands of healing| Kylian Mbappé x Fem Reader

REQUEST: "Can I have some fluff where reader comes home from getting her nails and toes done so when she comes home the house is all quiet so she looks for Kylian and he’s in bed sleeping and notices his feet out of the covers so she decides to play mischief as she can’t resist to tickle him, poking his soles, scratching his arches and playing with his toes until he wakes up all annoyed and she bes all like “well who’s gonna compliment me” so she shows him her nails and toes done so he tickles her back as payback please💗"

Summary: Kylian has always aimed to win at everything, but y/n has set out to beat him in this tickle battle. Will she be able to do it?

Warnings: English is not my first language, and it includes feet kink

They had been long months, and little by little you had stopped prioritizing those small habits that could relax you in your day-to-day life in order to keep up with your routine.

Stress had become a constant in your life, something you had accepted living with from the moment you took the job, knowing it would come with certain demands. However, over the years, you had managed to discover some techniques that allowed you to relax and remember that everything was going to be okay.

One of your favorite methods to relax was to prepare a romantic dinner with Kylian at home. Although on numerous occasions you both had dressed up to go out and dine at some luxurious Parisian restaurant with excellent reviews, deep down you preferred to stay home. Together, you would help each other prepare dinner, which frequently ended in a fun flour fight. Once you finished, you opened a bottle of champagne to toast to your achievements and future endeavors. While watching a series and dining, you caught up on how your day had gone. At the end of the night, Kylian would usually take the opportunity to culminate the evening with a more intimate union, sealing the love you both felt for each other.

On many other occasions, due to the young player's hectic schedules, you had to find ways to unwind when you were alone. This often included going out shopping at a new boutique you had discovered, meeting up with friends and family, or visiting Kylian's family. But above all, you usually prioritized your aesthetics.

For you, it was a whole ritual to go to the hairdresser and beauty salon. From time to time, you treated yourself to relaxing massages and never skipped your manicure and pedicure sessions. These small moments of self-care helped you stay centered and recharge your energy to face daily stress.

Additionally, sometimes you treated yourself to a full spa day, with sauna, Turkish bath, and facial treatments. You even accompanied these sessions with a good book or listening to your favorite music, which transported you to a state of absolute relaxation.

You had also learned to meditate and practice yoga, two activities that, although difficult at first, had now become essential for your well-being. These practices helped you find balance and maintain calm amidst the daily whirlwind.

So today had been the day to put an end to that period where you had stopped prioritizing yourself, and you finally went back to getting your nails done. You loved the whole process: from the preliminary step of trying to choose the best color while the manicurist showed you the new shades that had arrived, to the moment you saw how delicately she filed your nails to shape and prepare them for painting. You couldn't forget the subsequent massage she gave you, which always left you with a feeling of deep relaxation. Moreover, so many nail sessions had made the manicurist and you very close, and whenever you saw each other, you caught up with enthusiasm.

You were very excited to show Kylian the new nail color you had chosen: "bougainvillea." You had chosen that color remembering how, a week ago, he had praised a dress in that same shade you had seen while walking hand in hand, saying that color would suit you very well.

With that excitement in mind, you decided to put the keys in the car and drive while listening to the new songs you had recently discovered. The music filled the vehicle and made you smile, anticipating Kylian's surprise when he saw your nails.

However, your excitement began to gradually fade as you arrived home and noticed everything was very quiet. There was no noise, and the curtains in your bedroom were drawn. With utmost stealth, you made your way to your room to check what was going on. When you opened the door, you saw Kylian resting face down, with his hand wrapped around the pillow. You watched as his muscles seemed to relax in rhythm with his breathing.

The scene melted your heart. You approached carefully and sat on the edge of the bed, watching him for a few moments. You felt grateful to have someone like him in your life, someone who supported you and made you feel loved.

Seizing this moment, you sat beside him and, with a gentle gesture, stroked his hair. Although he didn’t wake up, a small sigh of contentment escaped his lips. Touched by Kylian’s soft reactions, you turned your gaze to find your bag and reach for your phone, intending to take a photo. That’s when you noticed his feet were uncovered, and a much better idea crossed your mind.

You tried to hold back, convincing yourself that Kylian surely needed his rest, but in the end, you decided to follow this sudden thought, recalling how he used to do this to tease you. So, with great stealth, you got up and approached his feet, starting to gently tickle them. You began by playing with his toes, moving them softly and slipping your fingers between the arches. Kylian stirred a bit in bed, but continued to sleep, so you decided it was time to put your real plan into action.

After a few more massages between his toes, you decided to tickle the soles of his feet. Unable to withstand the tickling, Kylian wiggled so restlessly that he almost kicked you. Annoyed, he let out a grumble and opened his eyes slightly to see who was disturbing his wonderful sleep. Upon opening his eyes, he saw you with a playful expression, although you tried to look annoyed, showing off your nails.

"It looks like no one is going to compliment my nails today," you said with a tone of feigned indignation.

With a soft laugh, Kylian replied, "Darling, they look great, but you could have woken me up without tickling me. I almost kicked your cute face."

"Very funny! But well, you can’t do anything about it now. I’m leaving you here to rest," you said, trying to pull away.

"Not a chance," Kylian retorted, quickly getting up to scoop you into his arms and put you back on the bed, knowing what was about to happen. Kylian wanted revenge and was going to give you the same treatment.

He quickly started tickling you, tracing his fingers all around the soles of your feet. The room was soon filled with your laughter, which triggered Kylian’s contagious laughter. While he couldn’t stop laughing knowing his girlfriend was now getting the revenge she deserved, he couldn’t help but think about how soft your feet were and how sensitive they were to his touch.

Taking advantage of this, he grabbed a soft feather and began to stroke all the curves and arches of your feet, running the feather around your toes. You felt a surge of intense sensations and twisted even more, laughing uncontrollably.

“No, Kylian, that tickles even more!” you yelled through your laughter, trying unsuccessfully to pull your feet away.

“Oh, really?” Kylian said with a mischievous grin. “Then I’ll keep going a little longer.” The feather glided smoothly, causing a mix of laughter and desperation.

After a while, both of you were exhausted from laughing. Kylian finally stopped tickling and lay down beside you, wrapping you in his arms.

“I’m sorry, darling, but I couldn’t resist,” he said, kissing you on the forehead. “Your feet are just irresistible.”

“Don’t worry,” you replied, still smiling. “It was fun, though definitely unexpected.”

Kylian looked at you with affection. “I love you, you know? These moments with you are what make everything worthwhile.”

“And I love you,” you said, snuggling closer to him. “Thanks for always making me laugh, even when I don’t expect it.”

You both stayed there, enjoying the tranquility and closeness of the moment. Despite the jokes and tickling, you knew that the love and respect you had for each other were what truly mattered.

[thevirginwitch]

City Magic: Painted Rock Wards

This post was released a week early over on my Patreon! You can subscribe for free to be notified of important projects announcements, or subscribe for as little as $2 a month to gain early access to my content, exclusive access to research/reading notes, and free digital goodies! Your support means the world to me and helps me to continue doing what I love.

We’ve all seen those pretty painted rocks over on Pinterest, right? These bad boys? Or perhaps you’ve even seen them around your neighborhood/public parks.

Traditionally, these are meant to be painted (sometimes with words of encouragement) and left in public spaces for people to take home, as an act of kindness. Some others paint them for their garden, either to deter pests with vibrant colors, or they’re used to label whatever’s in their garden.

Now, if you live in a big city, you probably have felt a disconnect from your craft or your practice. It’s difficult to connect with a nature-oriented spirituality, such as witchcraft, when you live in a concrete jungle! But there are many, many ways to feel connected to your craft, even if you don’t live in the middle of the woods or have a lot of nature around you. One of these ways is to connect with your neighborhood.

Your neighborhood has mass significance to your life, whether you realize it or not: this is where you live, where you work, where you breathe, where you practice your craft – you must make yourself known, and make the neighborhood known to yourself as well. One of the best ways to do this is to take walks!

Whenever you’re ready, take a walk through your neighborhood and bring a map, notebook, and a pen. As you walk, observe the behaviors of the residents around you. Do they seem to be struggling with anything? What kind of people are they like? Write these characteristics down. If you notice any parts of your neighborhood that evoke any specific emotions (such as unease, happiness, peace, or anxiety), mark them on your map. You might also notice some “problem areas” – perhaps some patches of the road or sidewalk are horribly paved and need to be repaired, or there’s a lot of loud dogs constantly barking at the end of your block. Mark these areas on your map as well, and report back to your home when you are ready.

Picking Your Purpose

Now that we’ve identified a few “problems” and made observations within your neighborhood, we can decide what we want to do. Do you want to protect against thieves? Ward against illness for one of your elderly neighbors? This is the time to select the primary purpose for your ward.

Picking The Area

Take the map that you marked up during your walk. Connect any common points you see (for example, connect up the "peaceful" areas you marked on your map, or connect any points that have a common theme). What kind of shape does it have? Does it remind you of any popular symbols? Can you use the general shape of the area to generate a sigil or symbol that represents the area? What area(s) would most benefit from your rock wards?

Here is an example of how I created a sigil from a fictional city map I found! Obviously, play around with this idea until it makes sense to you. You can connect up different routes, or perhaps create a border around the areas that feel safest to you.

Now is the time you also want to pick where you want to place your wards - you can use your neighborhood sigil to influence where you place them, or, place them based on intuition or based on need. For example, placing a rock ward at the end of the noisiest block, or in the middle of the block that has the most number of children in the area.

Creating and Using Your Sigils/Symbols

Now, you want to develop symbols or sigils for your purpose. You can use any method you’d like! You may wish to incorporate your neighborhood sigil into each one you create, but ultimately the design is up to you. This is also the point where you would “charge” your sigil, with whatever method you see fit - as long as the design, intention, and charging method makes sense to you, that’s all that matters!

Painting Your Rocks

Finally, onto the fun part!

Now, you could simply paint your sigils on your rock and call it a day. Or, you could paint your sigil, and layer a more “mundane” piece of artwork on top of the sigil, leaving the sigil hidden underneath. This technique works best if the “mundane” artwork connects with the ward’s purpose in some way (for example, if your ward is for protection against nosy neighbors, you could paint eyes; or if your ward is for health, you could paint green colors, or even a red cross). I definitely recommend this “layering” method of painting your rocks so no one in your neighborhood ends up reporting any “suspicious looking rocks” with “satanic symbols” on them to your local Facebook groups!

Materials

acrylic paint

rocks

paint brushes

toothpicks (optional)

paint markers

outdoor/water-proof sealant such as Mod Podge: Outdoor

Instructions

Lay out your rocks and other materials

Seal your rocks with a coat or two of your sealant before you begin painting. This is an important step, since rocks are porous and will suck up any paint you try to apply!

Paint your rocks to your heart's content! If you are layering paint on your rocks, please make sure each layer is dry before painting the next.

Once your rocks are completely dry, seal them up with your outdoor/water-proof sealant so they don't get damaged in the elements.

Lastly, take another trip through your neighborhood to place your rocks. Converse with the neighbors if you feel inclined, and make double-sure of the locations you chose for your wards. I recommend taking regular walks throughout your neighborhood to check on these wards, and make sure they’re doing their job. You may wish to refresh the wards with a new coat of paint, or replace them with something new if the situations within the neighborhood change.

Ultimately, magic is what you make it, especially when you live in a big city. Warding your neighborhood and showing care for the people that live there is one of the many ways you can connect to your neighborhood on a deeper level and feel more connected to your practice locally.

Recommended further reading: Urban Magick by Diana Rajchel

[quona]

blood of a reptile, just underneath the skin

--------------------------

DRAMA!CROWLEY, ACTIVATE!

So we meet here again, in front of another flaming-as-anything-ginger Crowley. We can't keep doing this, you know. People will talk.

More info and hi res under the jumpppppppppppp.

I wanted to try my hand at a standalone portrait of Crowley before I jump back into what will inevitably be another Aziracrow portrait---I'm thinking 1920s theme. Flapper Crowley & Aziraphale? But that's for another time.

I wanted to try grey scale under-painting in digital art. A success, I hope? I'm pretty happy with the portrait (for now, give it a week and I'll hate everything about this painting, happens every time!)

I struggled a bit on the eyes in this piece. I normally paint straight color to canvas, so I have a method to my madness with painting eyes. Not so, here! This was new territory. I'm not 100% satisfied, but that just means I need more practice.

ALSO, GOLGOTHA HAIR WITH A BRAID WHAT WHAAAAAT

And because I learned how to paint snake scales for the last portrait, I decide to reprise that theme and torture myself again keep practicing them, this time with iridescence. I wanted to keep the scales low-key, though, almost as if they're just emerging or maybe the viewer caught a momentary glimpse of scales through the veil to an ethereal occult plane. Additionally, I wanted some good creepy claw hands with long fingernails (big fan of creepy, me) for a proper demonic manicure.

About: All digital, all Photoshop. Orig. 7200 x 5400 px. ~1 week of off-and-on painting. Title is taken from Reptile by Nine Inch Nails because I guess I'm still naming art after 30 year old albums? Is this a thing I do, now?

...and if so, can you imagine what I'll have to draw to use lyrics from Hurt in the title?

[grimoirey]

✨ Color Magic ✨

Color magic involves using colors to amplify intentions, emotions, or goals in various spiritual and energetic practices. Each color is believed to carry specific energies and symbolism, which can be harnessed to support desired outcomes. Here’s a guide on how to understand and use color magic effectively:

Understanding Color Magic

Each color vibrates at a particular frequency, which corresponds to different emotions, intentions, and even elements. By consciously incorporating specific colors into rituals, spells, meditation, or daily life, you can align your energy with these symbolic meanings and focus your intentions.

Using Color Magic in Practice

You can incorporate color magic in many ways, depending on your preferences and what feels meaningful to you. Here are some methods:

1. Candles

How: Choose a candle color that aligns with your intention. For instance, red candles are used for passion or energy, while blue candles promote peace or healing.

Use: Light the candle and focus on your goal or intention. The candle flame serves as a visual focal point while the color supports the energy behind your intention.

2. Clothing and Accessories

How: Wear colors that resonate with your goals or desired energy for the day.

Use: For instance, wearing yellow for a presentation could boost confidence, while green might enhance feelings of balance and compassion.

3. Crystals and Stones

How: Choose crystals that carry both the color and properties you’re seeking. Green crystals like malachite can support abundance, while blue stones like lapis lazuli encourage communication and intuition.

Use: Carry the stone, place it on an altar, or use it in meditation.

4. Visualization

How: Visualize a particular color filling your body or a specific area to invoke its energy.

Use: For grounding, imagine a warm red light surrounding your feet and legs. For peace, visualize yourself surrounded by calming blue light.

5. Decor and Environment

How: Arrange colors in your living or working space to influence the mood and energy.

Use: For example, adding green plants for growth and health or using purple in a meditation space for spiritual insight.

6. Food and Drink

How: Choose foods and drinks of a particular color to absorb that color's energy internally.

Use: Eating green foods like leafy vegetables can support health and abundance, while drinking herbal tea from blue or lavender flowers can promote relaxation.

7. Writing and Art

How: Use colored pens, markers, or paints that correspond to your goals.

Use: Write affirmations in a color that reflects your intention. For example, writing in gold or yellow for success and abundance or using pink for love and friendship.

Examples of Color Magic Intentions

Here’s a quick guide to what each color can be used for:

Red:

Passion, strength, courage, protection, vitality, motivation, survival, sexuality, confidence, love, grounding

Orange:

Creativity, enthusiasm, ambition, success, independence, joy, attraction, adaptability, spontaneity, self-expression

Yellow:

Happiness, intellect, clarity, confidence, optimism, learning, mental clarity, communication, inspiration, concentration

Green:

Healing, abundance, growth, balance, health, prosperity, luck, renewal, fertility, compassion, harmony

Blue:

Peace, communication, truth, relaxation, wisdom, trust, loyalty, intuition, sincerity, healing, calm

Purple:

Spirituality, intuition, wisdom, transformation, psychic ability, mystery, magic, dignity, enlightenment, higher consciousness

White:

Purity, protection, clarity, peace, truth, innocence, unity, spirituality, simplicity, cleansing, illumination

Black:

Protection, grounding, mystery, transformation, strength, banishing negativity, introspection, power, resilience, ending cycles

Pink:

Love, compassion, friendship, self-love, emotional healing, kindness, warmth, romance, affection, harmony, nurturing

Brown:

Stability, grounding, security, nature, simplicity, reliability, endurance, practicality, home, comfort, physical health

Gold:

Wealth, success, confidence, enlightenment, luxury, illumination, positivity, abundance, power, divine wisdom

Silver:

Intuition, reflection, feminine energy, lunar energy, dreams, psychic ability, clarity, protection, emotional balance, patience

Color Magic Tips

Trust Your Intuition: If a color has a particular meaning for you that isn’t “traditional,” go with it. Personal associations are powerful.

Stay Intentional: Color magic works best when you actively focus on the desired outcome while working with the color.

Combine Colors: Mixing colors can create new, nuanced intentions. For instance, combining green and gold can amplify goals related to both abundance and success.

Color magic is a subtle but powerful way to enhance your spiritual or energetic work by aligning yourself visually and energetically with your intentions.

[answer2jeff]

not a lot, just forever.

carmen's opening up, but he wishes you'd do the same.

warnings: fluff + angst. fem!reader who is also a big reader (mostly poetry) and occasionally journals. unestablished relationship (friends to lovers, mutual pinning.) very touchy-feely. writing is overly detailed and so painfully poetic you might vomit.

word count : 2.4k

hey. i think i left my book at ur place. 11:15pm.

sorry, just got home. i can bring it over now 11:36pm.

oh yeah that'd be great! thank you. (sorry for the inconvenience) 11:38pm.

no worries 11:41pm.

lmk when ur here. xx 11:45pm.

Carmen had some idea of what that meant: xx. He knew what it meant when girls signed notes with xoxo in replacement of red kiss marks and strokes of long acrylic nails through their secret lovers hair—not that he ever received one, no. But your occasional visits practically felt just as intoxicating. If the order was x-o-x-o, and the worded statement being hugs-and-kisses, then xx must've been hugs, right? Two hugs. Like the one you shared the first time you met at Natalie's baby shower. He smelled like authentic Italian cologne with a hint of cigarette smoke diluted by dish soap and warm water. His grasp was hesitant, but ever-all-consuming once his shoulders relaxed. It was like metamorphosis. The way he wrapped his arms underneath while you tossed yours up around his neck, his gold chain feeling cold and hard against your skin, unlike the rest of him.

He was an under-hugger. He kept the ones he cared for unsuspectingly close to him. Such physical touch felt familiar. Maybe you'd just remembered stories and inside jokes about him through Natalie so well his tenderness and anxious nature was fitting to the idea of him you had in your head.

That was almost 6 months ago. And surprisingly, you'd become pretty good friends. Not that either of you really did friends at your age...but somehow it worked. You'd come to realize that he was so much kinder than anyone painted him out to be. And yet, you never really talked about yourselves.

Not in a way that really mattered, anyway.

The articles you'd written, the interviews you conducted with snobby assholes, the dozens of freelancing jobs with horrific schedules you had before, what you loved about writing and what you hated about the world around you—those were topics of discussion. Carmen's favorite restaurants he ever expanded his career with, the odd relationship he had with his sister that flipped like a rusty switch after highschool, candle scents he loved and bought over and over again despite their poor quality wicks, the first time he got drunk and how he swore he'd never let another drop of alcohol touch his tongue—those were normal methods of late night conversations.

But what about your dream to publish a novel? Or the memoir you read that completely changed your views on love as a whole. What about Carmen's uncle being his only friend his entire life? Oh, how he would've become a starving, broken artist if he ever believed he had enough talent for it. Hell, what about the girl you met in middle school who mysteriously moved away and shared all her secrets on the true meaning of life, death, and everything in between? Why didn't you ever talk about those things? Maybe it was too close, too personal. If he knew you too well, maybe he'd see you as you saw yourself.

Carmen had been thinking about those colored pencils you bought him for his birthday and can't get himself to tell you he uses them every day. Not just to illustrate his dishes...but you, sometimes. Your hair, your smile. He used that photo you begged him to snap of you staring out your window melodramatically with a bowl of pasta carbonara and a glass of bubbling champagne in front of you as reference. How could he ever show you the endless amount of pages containing the essence of your existence in that goddamn sketch book?

Questions. Questions. Questions.

Thoughts of potential ate away at your patience with every pacing step you took around your bedroom.

Answers. Answers. Answers.

—

"Do people even have deep conversations over pasta and wine anymore?" You trace the pad of your middle finger against the rim of your glass, your elbow propped up on the counter so your chin can rest in your hand.

Carmen draws his eyebrows together, the little crinkle in his forehead showing. You glance up at it and struggle to stifle a growing smile. He cocks his head before barring his bottom lip behind his teeth, picking at the skin with the tips of his fingers. That signature pose; where his left arm is crossed against his chest and his hand holds the elbow of his right arm. It's a habit you almost immediately picked up on. It told you time and time again that he was nervous.

Thinking. Contemplating.

"Is that, like—" he breaths a chuckle, but it comes out more as an accidental huff than anything. Smug bastard, he is. Especially when he drags his gold chain across his neck as it loops around the finger that once picked at the dry skin of his mouth.

"Your way of..asking me for a deep conversation over wine and pasta?"

Ah. He's called you out. The one thing he couldn't shake was his annoyance when you were so completely and utterly vague about your wants, your needs, your desires. Hell, Carmen Berzatto would wrap a lasso around the moon, or any planet you put your claim on, and drag it down so it could be yours and only yours. Only if it meant you'd stop feeling so complacent. You knew this. At least to some extent. His little favors buttered you up until you a mushy mess of adoration. What really scratched at your urges and your patience was how blissfully unaware he was of his show of affection toward you. Part of you feared that if you ever told him how much it caressed that bruised, fruit fly infested, rotted spot of your heart so gently it felt like a kiss, despite the sting, he'd stop.

"Y'know what? Yeah. I'm asking."

You shrug your shoulders and stare down at your nearly finished bowl of penne with vodka sauce. Stabbing a stack of pasta onto your fork and the clinking sound of the metal banging against the ceramic bowl seemed to fill the silence before Carmen finally spoke again, though with much hesitation.

"Okay," he barely whispers, nodding his head and fumbling to take a seat in the barstool underneath the counter. Sitting across from you gives him the constant justification to just look at you.

Starting off this session with a question was quite a kicker.

"Y'know Sade Zabala? Author of that book you brought back for me."

Carmen blinks slowly. He pretends to dig deep in his memory to identify the name, wondering if you'd ever mentioned her. But he fails, pulling his lips taught, so as to say 'I've got nothin.' The sound of your dramatic sigh and the 'tsk' sound of your lips separating makes his palms sweat.

"She's a wonderful writer. A poet. I mean, really, her book Coffee and Cigarettes was one of the most gut-wrenchingly beautiful and altruistic collections of.. of love, pain, rejuvenation—all of it."

If he was completely honest, he doesn't have a clear image of what those words meant. But it doesn't seem to matter what comes out of your mouth or how you phrase it. Your use of specific language fascinates him. There is nothing else he can do in this moment but nod and allow the corners of his lips to curl into a smile strong enough to make the apples of his cheeks go pink.

"I'll tell you one line of one of the greatest poems she had ever written in that book. In the humble opinion of yours truly, of course."

"Sure," he assures you. "Of course, of course."

"Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway."

Saliva pools in your mouth as you speak the quote, the taste of every vowel washing down your throat as if you dedicate them to Carmen himself. Which, in bare and naked truth, you do. The only thing you could ever ask of Carmen was to let himself tear himself open with the hope and belief that you would crawl into his fears and convert them into profound discoveries. And the trust that you would not stitch him up with your own hands, but rather clasp your fists around the circumference of his wrists as he carefully closes the wound his trajectory of life has created.

"Wow." Carmen's eyes go another centimeter wider, the language still processing in his mind. He interprets it over and over again.

"I know. And—" you set your fork down so you can have complete focus as you recite your following question, "I was just wondering what you'd say if someone told you that, y'know? What would you tell them?"

Vulnerability, he thinks. Fuck.

"I mean...fuck that's—that's a good question. Um.." he chews on the flesh of his bottom lip once again, looking above at the warm glow of the light that hangs over your island counter as if he'll find the answer up there.

"I don't even like the good stuff about me, so. I'm not sure how to, like, articulate that? Is that the word?"

Now the quickening pace has started.

"And what do you think the good stuff about you is?"

Probing questions like this are somewhat too-close-for-comfort inquiries for friends. But Carmen would be stupid to mind it. He relishes in it, actually. With much guilt. But it's tainted with the secret pleasure of being cared for by someone he so deeply valued the opinions and thoughts of.

Since the first day you met, Carmen knew he would never go to anyone else for some piece of mind. For some sanity. Or even just for someone to explain the method to his madness. You understood it—what he believed.

"I care a lot, I think. But that's not always practical. It hardly ever is now that I think about it."

"You do. You care so much." You soften your tone, hesitantly reaching for Carmen's tattooed hand that rests on the cold marble counter.

"Sometimes it freaks me out."

"Like, this whole thing, the—the restaurant, where my life is right now, it makes me crazy. But it also keeps me..."

"Human," you finish.

"Yeah, human."

Though it takes him a couple seconds for his digits to not second guess themselves, he gently takes your hand in his. The slow pace in which he intertwines his fingers with yours is enough to kill you.

"Can I tell you something?" Carmen asks.

"Anything."

"You take good care of me. Of everyone, really." . His thumb gently rubs your warm skin, the rough and calloused mounds over his fingerprints soothing you. A deep breath moves in and out from his lungs as he meets your eyes again. This time, he won't look away.

"It's like you were made to just be good."

You smile, but you're not convinced you're certain on what he means. "Thank you, Carm. But—good?"

"I don't know. You're warm. I'm—I'm not like that. I'm not warm."

This, this is where truths as bare as untraveled paws of loyal dogs that roamed the streets in search of security uncover themselves.

"What? Of course you are." You lean forward, feeling your heart pound so hard it could leap out of your body.

"I don't think I am."

To think—no, to know that Carmen Berzatto cannot share at least one feature of his layered soul he genuinely likes. God, that pains you. You could write a million sonnets listing every little thing you adored about your friend.

"Carmen, you—" you sigh, your head dropping for a fraction of a second. "You have such a big heart. You're not cold or...or out of reach, or anything like that, okay?"

Even with Carmen's tendency for rage and his tattoos that displayed yet another callback to his culinary career—his way of speaking: so gentle and unsupported, you're certain that he is something so much greater than just a chef. He took care of people too. His staff, his clientele, his family—of you. Whether it was home cooked meals when you were sick, or when you needed to complain about Natalie. Carmen listened. Not as her brother, but as your friend. You don't really remember when you started to regularly see each other during his leisure. Either at the restaurant, or a coffee shop next door to your complex, and eventually his living room.

"This is so fucking selfish, but—"

No, Carmen. You could never be selfish.

But you let him be hungry. You want him to be hungry. Starving for reassurance. Because you'll feed him until the empty space in his existence is filled.

"I just wish you'd look after yourself the way you take care of me. Like, fuck, hearing you look at yourself and point out all this shit that nobody notices—which I wish they fucking would—because I notice them and I still love those things about you is..."

Oh, what a beautiful mind you've always had. He'll always store all the love you can't have for yourself in his own heart. Your wit, your intelligence, your smile, even down to the way you have to readjust the grip of your fountain pen as you inscribe your thoughts into your journal

"Wrong." He completed his thought with just one word. "I don't like it. It makes me sad," he says again.

That breaks you. So much that a tear sure to be followed by many more wells up in your waterline. The glisten of the salty liquid in your eyes startles the wonderful man across you. You can see the immediate guilt in his face, his blue eyes filled with concern and regret. But you shake your head, holding onto his forearm as he raises his hand to your cheek to catch the falling tear. Fuck being friends. Fuck small talk. Fuck jokes and laughs and cigarettes and poor communication that just ended in silence.

This was here and now. There was no going back.

With that, you cupped Carmen's own cheek, leaning closer and closer to his lips before he desperately kissed you. His free hand anchored itself on your shoulder blade while yours crawled to the back of his head to burry itself in his golden curls. Your taste was everything. Salty with pasta with a sweet aftertaste that echoed from your fruity lip balm, followed by a final twinge of bitterness from your glass of red wine. He tasted of comfort, of acceptance, something you'd never felt against your tastebuds from the previous years of the dating pool. With every separation of your lips to swallow gasps of air, the further the two of you hovered over the counter in a needy attempt to get closer.

You didn't need answers. Not a lot from him either. Just him. Forever.

tags: @lemmejustpulloutmylightsaber @sexyyounglatinoboy @febris-amatoria @diorrfairy