#solas is a boiled egg

[watermelonfaerie]

Solas is Jealous of The Inquisitor

Lemme explain- after a discussion with @dirthavhen I've produced a theory: They were in the same position- same problem- made different choices and everyone loved Lavellan and in Solas' position? he was villified and hated.

When faced with a world they found unsavory: Lavellan going back in time and seeing a world that "isnt real" to them because they were going to undo it

Lavellan saved people and was celebrated.

Solas has been villified for trying to do what he thinks is right and constantly told hes wrong.

He's jealous. and what color is jealousy commonly associated with? Green.

[hawkeshep]

pov you are the veil

[silverteresa]

0.001 seconds after seeing Solas again:

@verynonyideas

[fatedmuses]

//I know that meme was supposed to be muse reactions but consider

my head hurts and that's too much effort

[nananarc]

boiled egg solas under the sun

(silly idea cooked up by my friends kekeke)

[mysticdreamdrafts]

Solas x Lavellan | Fluffy (PRE-TRAUMA) Headcanons

I heard there were some Egg-Head lovin bitches ‘round her.

It is me. I’m bitches.

Here’s some random Solas headcanons because I want to. Chances are some will disagree but I don’t care. 

These are set around the DA:I era, not DA:V. I’ll get to that later.

As a disclaimer tho: Yes, I have a Lavellan Inquisitor named Winter, but this headcanon list ain’t about her. Just a general romance Reader Insert because I care about your feelings more than mine lol I might be brave and post stuff about Winter later who knows

✨ Enjoy, my fellow Hard Boiled Egg lovers ✨

-He’s the type to always be looking at you. Eye’s latched on to wherever you are -Now when I say this I don’t mean in a creepy way, relax -I mean this in a fascination way. In an adoration way. In a “that’s the center of my universe" way -Because you are.  -Vivienne said the same thing, ya know? The way the both of you have eyes that linger over one another? -Quite frankly everyone saw the change in his demeanor as time went on, but no one saw the change more than you -No one saw the sweet fingertips that caressed against your jaw in the dead of night hiding away in the rotunda -No one saw the times on missions, wandering the Frostback Basin with pinkies linked in such a subtle but intimate way -He is obsessed with your hair -NO, not because he doesn’t have any lmfao -Because it’s soft and smells heavenly  -Because it reminds him of peace as he absentmindedly braids it, caresses it, runs his slim fingers through the strands  -He’s actually very good. Which can’t be a surprise I mean be fuckin fr right now -Sometimes when he styles it you leave it as it is, and you best believe you get a bunch of compliments  -Most of which are from Dorian  -Solas loves to surprise you -Stolen kisses out of no where when you’re in the middle of instruction -Can’t he SEE YOU ARE TRYING TO FOCUS? -He finds himself with that devious smirk on his lips when he thinks about all the ways to fluster you  -No one will notice he seems to have plans, of course. Perhaps Bull.  -He sticks a single flower behind your ear each time you are on the field  -Don’t worry, he brought a flower in preparation when knowing you were going to the damn Western Approach -None of them amount to how beautiful you are -He plays the mandolin for you in the nights you can’t sleep -When the demons are too much and the terror jolts you awake, he is already there -More often than not, he stays so he can be sure you’re rested -He takes this time to see your mark. Always tracing it, always healing so that it brings you less discomfort  -Plays in the snow with you when in Haven -If you ask to keep the lil Nug that followed you around Emerald Graves, he’ll be happy to support -Even if he hesitates because he knows it will take his place a bit . Taking some of your attention and being the thing you cuddle with at night -The cute grin you gave is too much to ignore though - his heart is soft with you -His heart belongs to you

[krems-chair]

Losing My Mind Over Veilguard 6/?? Aka the Dread Wolf Double Bind

These posts are getting up here in number (yes ma'am that is 1 2 3 4 5 instances of me not being able to get my shit together and coming back again for more)

and quite frankly there's nothing I can do about it until the "we've been treated and tormented by this game" demon has been exorcised from my body, so here we go again.

Today I give to you:

(Modeled after Inquisition Solas and his sad, bald-ass basset hound mage bum glory becuase I think it's important that newcomers know exactly who his fans fell in love with/who inspired his enemies to conduct speed-runs to punch him. Yassified Solas ran only because this mangled membranous man crawled first)

Part of what's making me lose my mind here, I've discovered, is a strange sort of survivor's guilt where everything I really like or really hate about Veilguard can be traced back to Solas and I don't know how to deal with it because we've never had such a divide before between one character getting ALL the content and everyone else from their game being left in the absolute dust.

Disclaimer: Yeah, no one from Origins has had more screen time across games than Morrigan at this point, and therefore no one has gotten more robbed of the substance of their character, but even the damage done to her wasn't the kind that warped an entire game. No, the devs saved that all for the Dread Wolf in the Room.

Even putting it down on paper and comparing the two in-game versions of him, it took me a second to work through why I'm so conflicted, but I think I've finally settled on a few key points.

Concern #1: Solas Haters Were Robbed.

Part of the allure of Solas is that if you want to punch that man in the face, you're gonna get the chance to punch him in the face. Is that my personal preference? No. But in a game where your companions are built to make you think instead of letting you turn your brain off, you're bound to have personalities that clash against yours. To have such a non-descript-looking iambic-pentameter-talking apostate be able to inspire strong emotions across the whole spectrum of players was part of his appeal. Now, as far as I understand it, you have four options at the end of Veilguard.

1. Solas lives and he might actually not hate himself some day.

2. Solas lives and he's absolutely going to write a diary entry a night about why he hates himself.

3. Solas lives and he's going to write a diary entry a night about why he hates YOU.

4. Solas lives and you better hope he never again figures out how to live in your general vicinity

Do you see my concern here? I, shamelessly, can admit that I would do unspeakable fictional things to get that man his happy ending (within reason...mostly...), but I feel like the game took the opportunity away from the players who threw that knife in their map at the end of Trespasser and vowed to take a bitch down for stealing their best armor and waxing poetic about the Grey Wardens while seemingly sitting on his ass and having no inclination to stop the blight (help). This, then, leads me into my second issue.

Concern #2: The Game Refuses to Give Solas room outside of its own agenda

In the near-decade it took for Solas to slip back into his trickster god persona, he seems to have forgotten why he began his quest to tear down the veil in the first place. I like that Rook gets to experience the version of our favorite hard boiled egg that near-singlehandedly tore down several empires by being an absolute terror to those with bigger egos. I like that new players are going to hear Solas tell them that they've earned his respect and actually believe it until they inevitably get their first taste of ancient elven betrayal. What I don't like? When a nuanced yearning for a world in which three majorly mistreated groups (spirits, elves, mages) would be free from many of the constraints that enabled their oppression suddenly becomes "I am doing this because if I don't I have betrayed my friend. Which friend you ask? Oh, the one that was on board with my plan until it no longer suited the story."

The combo of few characters from previous games and a sanitized near-blank slate for the setting of this game was deadly to one of its best-written characters. Because of it, Solas is forced to abandon his double-speak, the joy he takes in giving you scraps of an answer that, by the time you get it, you will already have missed the chance to piece it together from separate clues that he ALSO dropped. He's not going to get to show you the loyal followers the epilogue of Inquisition made clear that he has, because the game wants to usher you into the new future of the series. You're not going to get to ask him (or any NPCs for that matter) a bunch of questions so that you can form your own opinion of him, because all that matters is that he isn't Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain so let's move along, shall we?

Because the game needs exposition and a foil to its two other baddies, and needs it FAST, the mythic Dread Wolf becomes a plot device designed to get you where you need to go when you need to be there. It doesn't work purely for that reason alone, at least in my opinion, but it gets so much worse when a game that promises you that it's going to work for players new and old relies on someone experienced players want a personal reckoning with to guide every Rook through the game only to realize that those questions of morality regarding whether the veil is torturous for a subjugated few or the only thing preserving most of life as we know it are going to have to remain questions.

You don't get a choice of whether Solas is in your party or not, and you can't advance in the game without talking to him. You don't get to choose not to impress him. You don't get to choose whether you're going to work with him in the final battle, and as previously mentioned, your only real choice in how his story ends is one of four options in which he lives every time in varying states of self-loathing. You're still going to love him or hate him, but just how strongly you're able to show those feelings towards him is severely curtailed. And that's an absolute shame for a character that commanded such fierce attention.

And that's where, ultimately, I find myself with a weird amount of survivor's guilt.

When I finished my Veilguard playthrough, I had barely a moment to fully contemplate the amount of whiplash and disappointment I felt going from a Solas that I had spent almost a decade knowing to a One Dimensional Fen'Harel who threw out his core values and goals like they were chilling in a cup of tea before. Why? Because I very quickly felt guilty. And then I got angry for feeling guilty!

The game's failure to adequately represent its other characters and lore has created a world in which I don't like the Solas we've been given, but I can't live without him either. Who am I to complain that his most complex and compelling features are gone when other players are mourning the fact that the last they may ever hear of their favorite character is reduced to a scrap in the codex? How can I be frustrated at how the Lavellan reunion scene goes down when other players would kill for the chance to have their Inquisitor seemingly give any sort of shit about being in the game aside from being told it was mandatory to earn participation points? How can I lament the fact that his storyline seems to share all the wrong lessons to be learned from a toxic friendship rooted in a never-equalized power imbalance when someone else is watching Morrigan pull a complete 180 and wondering why the fuck they spent so much time researching whether or not her accepting her mother's choices as her own was what she truly wanted? At least Solas still loves Lavellan, even though we needed to ask Trick Weekes several follow up questions just to double check. At least Solas gets more in the epilogue than one empty "we remember the heroes that came before" platitude.

And to suddenly fear any appearances of past characters from a studio that used to make me stay up theorizing about how a character might grow and evolve and continue to impact the world I helped shape? It's depressing as hell, and it's why I was too scared to get attached to any of the new companions once I finally got past the writing and lack of complexity.

The people that hate Solas, deserved better.

The people that valued what he brought to their Inquisitor's small but strong group of friends deserved better.

The people that love Solas more than Sera loved pissing him off deserved better.

And new players, who had a chance to engage with one of the most powerful storylines in the game and instead got a heaping dose of Deus Ex Machina Lite, deserved better.

If taking a character that had the potential and power needed to shape an entire continent and banishing him one of four different ways to Fade jail so that the book could quickly be closed on a years-long legacy is what the studio is calling a return to their roots, I'll stick with the efforts of fans to create art and theories that aren't afraid to double down into what actually keeps people coming back for more.

[redlyriumidol]

A post about Solas just reminded me that I had boiling eggs on the stove. This is how video games can help us to navigate real-world situations

[notyourmamasdeerbat]

WIP Wednesday!

Happy Wednesday, my dears! Thank you @hedwigoprah for the tag, I admit to scrounging around a bit for what to share because I too have kind of been in a brain rain dryspell. I have this layout for Chapter 5 of Carry the Dagger? I guess? It's a long one, and an irritated one. Rocks were thrown and yes, Solas-es were harmed in the making of this video. So. CW: Egg?

“You have no idea what you have done.” The voice pierced the darkness, cold and forbidding, echoing all around them. Rook wobbled, head fuzzy as the crumbling landscape swam into focus. The place was cosmic. Massive and uneven, spirals of ancient stone drifting on the horizon as if through currents of a massive ocean. “Solas…?” They jerked at an echoing footstep with a sharp inhale, and there he was, arms folded behind him, maybe ten steps away.  “You– fucking–!” Rook hit the dirt, scrambling to snatch up a hunk of colorless stone, and they hurled it at the mage as hard as they could.  It arced, distance expanding, and plummeted into the chasm that suddenly yawned between them.  Solas’ lip curled, disdain written across his angular features.  “You bald, lying, cheating, irresponsible, tiny di–” Rook took a breath, shoulders heaving as they curled their hands into fists, dizzy from a head rush and the shifting landscape. “I know what I did! And I’d do it again! Wipe that stupid look off your face, I stopped you from destroying the world.”  “I was not destroying the world!” He insisted, shouting, his brows furrowing with agony, voice raw with frustration. His voice carried power here, rattling Rook’s bones. “When you disrupted my ritual,” he snarled, all sharp canines and wrinkled nose. “The magical energies pulled me here, into the Fade.”  “Not my fucking problem, pal,” Rook tossed back, jabbing a trembling finger. “Your physical body is unconscious,” Solas retorted, in a tone that suggested Rook would be wise to listen. “But you shed a few drops of blood at the ritual site. Enough to form a tenuous connection.”  “Blood magic?” Rook reared back, reeling, wishing for nothing more in all the world than to vault the stone hands and blackened ravine and rip his fucking ears off.  “Firstly, I abhor the use of blood magic–” he thundered, scowling. “ –Secondly,” came his voice from behind them, out of reach. “Had I the power to control you, I would have already used it.”  Rook whirled, eyes wide and accusatory as his shadow crested the twisting brambles and stone steps disorientingly in what had been their blindspot. Their heart was pounding in their chest. Fear. Real fear. They slashed a hand through the air. “Don't do that.”  Solas scoffed. “You yet live. Can you not comprehend what this is?”   Rook ground their teeth, tone thick with the disgust that boiled in their belly. “You hurt Varric. I can’t believe you.” Solas’ expression faltered. The barest flicker of hesitation. Of guilt. 

POV: An old trickster god that your ex boss and coworkers were very familiar with and your new boss actually was coworkers with addresses you for the first time and first thing you do is try to bash his skull in with a ghost rock. Just Dragon Age things. also this!

“This is it.” “Oh.” Lucanis frowned, hands on hips as he examined the first gate– the path between the Fade’s mountainous formations overgrown with interlocking briars as thick as grown men, its center locked by a steel bound brass socket, carved with ancient glyphs. “The glyphs are in ancient elvhen. I can read pieces of it, pick out certain words, but the rest is gibberish to me. Bellara says it could be a poem, or the spoken incantation that brought this thing into being– but it’s both Blight and blood magic. And lots of it.” Rook tapped their foot, craning their neck to scowl up at the monstrous barrier. The Crossroads teemed with life around them, chattering wisps drifting along in herds through the air. One whizzed by Rook’s head before jerking to a halt and giving Lucanis a wide berth.

Next stop, Minrathous! Before the Bad Times! :D They are waiting on Neve, who overslept a little. She's working on a case that definitely probably won't be relevant later. Trust me. Don't look over here. [slides in front of my massive threaded theory board that is mostly just badly drawn doodles of all the companions with hearts everywhere] Anyway. WAM BAM GET TAGGED

@emmieloumay @the-bear-and-his-sunbird @andthekitchensinkao3 @draco-illius-noctis @velvet-apricots @fenrelmercar

[eatingthroughthedas]

Pickled Eggs

Very funny to me that the first egg recipe I try is associated with Cullen and not Solas (he does have one though, where Devon compares his head to a poached egg lmao

This was ok, not as sour as I hoped but maybe a few more days brining will fix that. Chopped one up and topped a salad with it and that was nice!

Notes:

Recipe recommends waiting at least 3 days but ideally 10. I tried my first one on day 4, may get stronger over the next few days

I added two cloves of garlic I had on hand

Transcription under the cut

Pickled Eggs

Got a fever? A cold? An aching shoulder, perhaps? Ask any Fereldan for advice, and they'll be quick to prescribe you a pickled egg, the Fereldan cure for ... well, pretty much anything! Actually, no, I take it back. You don't even have to ask. Looking a bit under the weather is prompt enough for most Fereldans to unleash a deluge of eggs, which is exactly what Commander Cullen found waiting for him in his office during the worst of his lyrium withdrawals. Whether the eggs really work is a completely different story, but I'd be the last person to complain if one was offered to me. I am Fereldan, after all. Still, next time you feel a bit of illness coming on, try one of these salty-sour eggs. You never know; it might actually work. And at the very least, you'll have the opportunity to enjoy one of Ferelden's finest snacks!

Yield

10 Pickled eggs

Cook time

40 MINUTES

(Plus at least 3 days for flavors to meld)

Difficulty

Easy

Ingredients

1 onion, cut in half

2 bay leaves

1 teaspoon allspice berries

2 whole cloves

1 tablespoon mustard seed

1 tablespoon peppercorns

1 small dried chili pepper / teaspoon caraway

1 quart (32 fluid ounces) water

2 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons salt

3 tablespoons white wine vinegar

10 eggs

Equipment

Preserving jar large enough to hold about 1½ quarts

Set the onion halves cut side down in a frying pan and caramelize without oil over medium heat until the cut sides are dark brown (about 3 to 4 minutes). Shortly before that happens, add the bay leaves, allspice, cloves, mustard seed, peppercorns, chili pepper, and caraway and combine. Briefly cook the seasonings with the onion until fragrant (about 2 to 3 minutes).

Transfer the seasonings to a pot and fill with a quart of water. Add the sugar, salt, and vinegar and bring to a boil over medium heat. Simmer gently, stirring occasionally, for 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, boil the eggs in a separate pot for 10 minutes. Drain, run the eggs under cold water, and tap them lightly so that the shell cracks slightly all around and the seasoning can soak into the eggs. Alternatively, you can shell the eggs entirely at this point.

Carefully transfer the eggs to a preserving jar large enough to hold everything, then pour in the hot broth and tightly seal the jar right away. Allow the eggs to cool completely at room temperature, then refrigerate the jars and allow them to stand for at least 3 days ideally, longer-up to 7 days) so the flavors can meld.

The pickled eggs will keep for about 2 weeks in the refrigerator.

This is a base recipe for pickled eggs. You can adjust it to your own tastes by adding other ingredients. For example, you can use different herbs and spices (such as rosemary, tarragon, dill, thyme, and curry) or aromatic ingredients, including beets, bell peppers, squash, and garlic.

[blightwashed]

So I just recently finished my second playthrough (I'm slow, so what?) and I have a lot of Thoughts and Feelings. Probably should split some of this up, but whatever, we're all just shouting into the void anyway. But honestly, on my first go-round, I walked away from the end of the game really fucking angry, and I can't say this time was much better. I've been trying to not only put into (a few) words the reason WHY I feel this, but also, what small-ish things could have been different in the game that would have (I think) gone a long, long way to making it better. But first, for some levity: Photo 1 - Antoine, darling, your bow is backwards. You are hopeless without Evka around. Just admit it. Photo 2 - Let's all just take a moment to admire the split spinny jump thing Lucanis is doing up there. It's beautiful. Okay, serious stuff. My main feeling at the end is that none of it - NONE OF IT - is earned. The redemption ending is...fine, in theory, but it felt so hollow to me. My game did not include Solavellan, because my Lavellan could sniff out a sketchy egg a mile away and never fell for that shit, but I have watched videos of that ending, and...UMGPH. (I mean, I'm really happy for you if that was enough for you to wrap up 10 years of Toxic Yearning (see what I did there), but it looked pretty flat from my end.) Anyway, this time around I was trying to analyze the writing to see where if felt (to me!) like something was missing, and while I know it wouldn't FIX anything, I really, really feel like we needed a couple of lines between the Mythal fragment and Solas's decision to atone. It's just way too damn fast in game. I mean, the man's world has just been completely ROCKED. He needs a minute. So, this would have been a perfect opportunity to insert a bit about WHY we need to keep the Veil up (if we're going to ignore the perfectly valid crit that bringing it down should have been one of the options after all - maybe a secret option, a la the ME3 "refuse" 4th option?). BUT, continuing on this path, now would have been the time to bombard him with pathos, right? Have Rook (or anybody, really, let's be real) make a brief but compelling case for "isn't this world worth fighting for, too? Aren't we people, too?" Maybe have Rook and their LI hold hands and show solidarity or some shit. Make it a cheesy Lilo-and-Stitch "yeah, this is my family. It's small and broken, but it's mine" kind of moment, if that fits with the Disney-fied vibe of this game. I just feel like we needed an extra beat in that space. Am I alone in this? It seems like such a small thing, but maybe that's what this game is missing, really. About 1,000 "small things" that could have all added up to more than the sum of their parts. And one final thought: honestly, this game dropped exactly 4 years too late. I've seen (and admired) people discussing the more hopeful tone it has and why that's a good thing, and I don't hate that line of thinking. I've overall been trying very, very hard to stay in that middle lane of "I can enjoy what I can of this" and "I can see and scream about all the flaws," but what if a lot of what happened both in the writing and the aftermath also boils down to timing?

Imagine if this had come out on Oct. 31, 2020. Just a few days before THAT election instead. When everyone was still mostly in quarantine and in need of a big dose of hopefulness. When the cultural zeitgeist was still riding the Avengers: Endgame high and the time was ripe for this kind of Marvel-team feel-good story (especially one that features winning against a seemingly unstoppable BLIGHT ILLNESS). How might the reception have been different? I mean, I feel like it was meant to release back then (I don't know enough about the development timing, I'm just going on tonal vibes here, so stick with me). 2020 as a whole could have been the target audience - talk about a way to get the "new players" that they wanted. But development hell happened, and here we are 4 years later with none of that energy left in us, and a game asking us to pretend we still have it. But instead, we're all just tired. And maybe a little regretful, too.

[leastdatablebracket]

FINAL ROUND

Propaganda under the cut!

Solas

He believes all mortal beings deserve to die. He is bald but in a very unsexy way. He exudes zero chemistry and talking to him about romance is like talking to a boiled egg. 

Described by major media as "elf hitler," he dumps you to destroy the world

He is a smelly know it all, and that's before you find out he is a deity in disguise who caused the rift you spend the game trying to fix in the first place and he betrayed you and chopped off your hand

Breaks up with you, disappears without saying anything, plans to destroy the world

Look. I’ll admit I have not personally romanced solas. I am baffled that anyone would WANT to romance solas. I know we all love a waify little elf wizard with questionable motivations but jfc look at him like im trying not to say anything demeaning about bald dudes but he does not wear it well. Also iirc you can only romance him if you’re also an elf and then he’s weirdly rude and dismissive if your character is Into Elf Culture. Look im a huge lesbian but Iron Bull is RIGHT FUCKING THERE why would you do this.

Peter King

Oh I could go ON AND ON but here’s a list: He’s a stalker, he showed up late to a date HE REQUESTED, he killed either your landlord, roommate, or coworker (depending on route) and stuck them in a freezer, lied to the police about it, followed by a car ride either consisting of traumadumping about his family (valid tbh) or him talking about how much he wants to fuck your brains out, then you finding a bloody knife in his glove compartment, asking about it, and him smashing your head into the window to shut you up while he takes you to his house. He is The Worse Datable, as well as The Only Datable because well…he killed the others…and kidnapped you….

FUCK THIS DUDE!!! Country Human looking-ass bitch, I want him dead and obliterated

Many violence, Yandere behavior, cut your leg off in a semi-canon series of illustrations, smashed your head into the passenger side window of his creepy van, chloroformed you in your own house, brought you flowers that were probably tainted with his own blood, given context from another route. Generally a terrible person. Also just very strange to look at :/

He knows what he did….😒

He broke into Y/N’s house and chloroformed them. Generally a really creepy and perverted guy. TK is better :/

Send that man to Worst Datable Hell! Put him in the trash file (he’s a pseudo-sentient AI, similar to Monika, so this threat is valid)! He sometimes looks like a kicked puppy when talking to you, but with your small contributions, we can make him look even more like a kicked puppy! Vote Peter King for Worst Datable Datable Character today! Bonus: Funny canon facts about him! - He can’t swim - He’s allergic to peanuts - He has to wear glasses, but usually wears contacts - He had an emo/goth phase in high school - He’s a YouTuber; he does product reviews - He has very strong mother issues (understandably) - He will respond to and greatly enjoy the nickname “Cockbite” (there are many other names he enjoys, but this one’s the funniest to me)

[shinondraws]

I had a sudden urge to draw solas' face on my eggs from now on

So i could boil it and then smash it

[fatedmuses]

Would Solas x a boiled egg be selfcest if i recommend that

//the way I snorted

he's so mad he's really about to be a boiled egg lmao