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rafesapologist · 11 months ago

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the set up — rafe cameron; part twenty three

summary: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.

warnings: swearing, drug use, mentions of alcohol, suggestive themes, angst

author's note: thank you to the person who said y/n and rafe remind them of two ghosts by harry styles, yet another reason to cry over them

In the soft glow of the television, casting a muted ambiance across Rafe's room, he lay on his bed with Sofia resting against his chest. A quiet tension lingered in the air, intensifying in the days following the unexpected reunion with you at the restaurant.

Sofia, sensing Rafe's distance, absentmindedly traced circles on his chest with her fingers, attempting to bridge the growing gap between them. Tilting her head to look up at him, concern filled her eyes.

"Rafe, is everything okay?" Sofia's voice was soft and caring.

With a sigh, Rafe kept his gaze fixed on the TV screen, his mind clearly elsewhere. "Yeah, just… thinking about stuff, you know?"

Propping herself up on her elbow, Sofia studied his face. "You've been so distant lately. Is there something you want to talk about?"

Caught between the truth and the fear of causing more turmoil, he hesitated. "It's just a lot going on, Sof. I've got some things on my mind."

Understandingly, Sofia nodded, her fingers now tracing gentle patterns on his arm. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

He nodded, appreciating her support but unsure if he could share the complexities of his emotions. Sensing his reluctance, Sofia decided to change the subject, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Maybe we could do something fun this weekend, take your mind off things," she suggested, a hopeful smile playing on her lips.

Managing a faint smile in return, Rafe appreciated her effort. "Yeah, maybe. We'll see."

As the TV flickered in the background, the room held an unspoken tension. Sofia rested her head back on Rafe's chest, contemplating the subtle shifts in their dynamic. While she tried to be patient, a nagging feeling lingered – a realization that something had changed, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

However, as her gestures intensified, Rafe's patience wore thin. The unspoken tension in the room became palpable, creating an invisible barrier between them. Sofia nestled against him, attempting to intertwine her fingers with his. Growing increasingly irritated, Rafe pulled away, his brow furrowing.

"Sof, can you just give it a rest for a bit?" he muttered, the irritation evident in his tone.

Looking up at him, Sofia's eyes reflected a mix of confusion and hurt. "Rafe, what's going on? You've been distant, and now you're pushing me away. Did I do something wrong?"

With a sigh, frustration etching his features, Rafe admitted, "It's not about you, okay? I've got a lot on my mind, and I can't deal with all this right now."

She sat up, giving him some space but still visibly hurt. "Rafe, we used to be so close. If something's bothering you, I want to be there for you."

His annoyance grew as he struggled to find the right words. "I just need some space, okay? I can't have you all over me every second."

Tears welled in Sofia's eyes, hurt by the sudden change in his demeanor. "Fine, Rafe. If you need space, I'll give it to you. But this… it's not like you."

He didn't respond, his gaze fixed on the distant wall. The room felt heavy with unresolved tension, and as Sofia excused herself, the air between them lingered with unspoken words and a growing sense of unease.

Rafe's frustration reached its peak as he watched Sofia leave, the door closing behind her. He sighed heavily, pacing the room as if trying to escape the overwhelming emotions within. His hands ran through his disheveled hair, fingers gripping the strands tightly.

"Why can't anything just be easy for once?" he muttered to himself, a bitter edge to his voice.

The echo of his own words seemed to mock him, and he felt a surge of anger building up inside. Without thinking, he lashed out, his fist connecting with the wall in a raw display of frustration. The impact reverberated through the room, and a sharp pain shot through his hand. Rafe winced but welcomed the physical pain as a distraction from the emotional turmoil.

"Damn it!" he cursed, shaking his hand as if to ward off the sting.

Alone in the room, Rafe grappled with the conflicting emotions swirling within him. The weight of recent events, the encounter with you, and the strained relationship with Sofia created a volatile mix that he struggled to navigate. The room felt smaller, suffocating, as if closing in on him.

As Rafe nursed his throbbing hand, he sank onto the edge of his bed, overwhelmed by a flood of memories. The room became a stage for the ghosts of moments shared with you, and he found himself dwelling in the bittersweet nostalgia of your presence.

He closed his eyes, trying to summon the sensory details that clung to those memories. The way your hair smelled faintly of the ocean breeze, the melodic cadence of your laughter that echoed in his ears, and the warmth of your touch that lingered on his skin. Each recollection was a sharp pang, a reminder of a time when everything seemed simpler, when he didn't have to navigate the complexities of heartache and regret.

In that solitary moment, he romanticized the past, replaying the scenes where you and he were entangled in a dance of shared glances and whispered confessions. The room seemed to echo with the ghostly laughter that once filled it, now haunting him with the absence of your presence.

Sorrow tightened its grip on his heart as he wallowed in the vivid tapestry of your shared experiences. The weight of regret bore down on him, and he couldn't escape the haunting realization that he might have let something truly precious slip through his fingers. Yet, amid the pain, there was an undeniable longing, a yearning for a time when love felt uncomplicated, and the future held the promise of shared tomorrows.

As Rafe dwelled in the recesses of his imagination, he allowed the alternate reality to unfold before him like a hazy daydream. In this envisioned world, he saw a life where he had granted you that second chance on that fateful day, a life that diverged from the current path of heartache and solitude.

In this imagined narrative, the two of you flourished against the backdrop of sun-kissed memories, navigating the complexities of love with a newfound understanding. The island, once a confined stage for your relationship, now became a mere prologue to the grander story of your shared journey.

He envisioned the passage of years, the gentle erosion of the once-familiar island landscape replaced by the changing seasons of a more expansive world. The whispers of shared dreams resonated through the cozy northern town you had made your own, a place where the echoes of laughter and love were woven into the fabric of everyday life.

There, in this imagined haven, you and he found solace in the simplicity of shared sunsets and the warmth of a home built on the foundation of forgiveness and resilience. The weight of regret lifted, replaced by the buoyancy of a love that had weathered storms and emerged stronger on the other side.

Yet, even in the reverie of this idyllic existence, a sense of loss lingered. Rafe couldn't shake the awareness that this alternate reality was a mere mirage, a poignant testament to the choices made and the irreversible course of time. The ache in his heart deepened as he contemplated the chasm between the life he had envisioned and the reality that now unfolded before him.

As Rafe's mental anguish escalated, he found himself teetering on the precipice of despair. The weight of regret, coupled with the sting of recent events, drove him to a breaking point. A torrent of emotions overwhelmed him, and tears blurred his vision as he grappled with the haunting echoes of your presence in his mind.

In a desperate attempt to numb the pain, Rafe sought solace in the familiar rituals that had become a coping mechanism, albeit a destructive one. With trembling hands, he reached into his nightstand, fingers closing around a small baggy containing a white substance. The act was mechanical, a reflex born out of habit and the relentless pursuit of an elusive escape.

The substance, once a temporary reprieve from the tumult within, now became a symbol of the deeper turmoil eating away at Rafe's soul. As he prepared to indulge in this fleeting escape, the room became a silent witness to the unraveling of a fractured spirit, a soul caught in the relentless undertow of its own despair.

The room, cloaked in the dim glow of despair, witnessed Rafe's descent into the abyss of his own making. Each inhalation of the numbing substance became a fleeting attempt to drown the sorrows that threatened to consume him. Tears, unbidden, streamed down his face, a silent testament to the profound ache that had settled within his heart.

As the chemical haze wrapped around him, he found himself lost in a vivid tapestry of memories. Images of you, smiling and carefree, intertwined with an alternate reality where he had chosen a different path that led to a shared future. The bittersweet agony of those imaginary moments intensified with every heartbeat, each line etching a painful reminder of what could have been.

In the midst of the solitary ritual, Rafe grappled not only with the substance but also with the weight of regret, longing, and the haunting specter of a love lost. The room bore witness to the silent struggle, a sanctuary of solitude shattered by the echoes of a heart breaking, one line at a time.

The substance's bitter sting lingered in Rafe's nostrils as he leaned back, the remnants of his chosen escape method still coursing through his veins. The room, once a sanctuary of solitude, now held the hushed aftermath of his self-imposed oblivion. A fleeting sense of relaxation swept over him, a momentary reprieve from the weight that had settled on his shoulders.

As he waited for the high to envelop him completely, Rafe's mind teetered on the precipice between reality and the numbing embrace of the chemicals. The echoes of memories, both real and imagined, lingered in the corners of his consciousness, competing with the euphoria that sought to drown them out. In this fragile interlude, he clung to the fragile promise of escape, a respite from the relentless ache that seemed to define his waking hours.

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The sun hung high in the cloudless sky as you and JJ embarked on the boat ride, the rhythmic hum of the engine providing a soothing backdrop to the gentle lapping of waves against the vessel. The salty sea breeze tousled your hair as you sat beside JJ, your thoughts still swirling with the tumultuous events of the past days.

JJ, always attuned to your emotions, attempted to break the heavy silence that lingered between you. "You know, a day out here is gonna do wonders for the soul. Trust me."

You managed a small smile, appreciating JJ's effort to lift your spirits. The boat cut through the water, leaving behind a trail of frothy waves, and soon, the coastline faded into the distance.

As the boat sailed further into the vast expanse of the ocean, the horizon opened up before you, a boundless canvas of blues and greens. The vastness of the sea seemed to mirror the complexities of your own emotions. JJ, ever the optimist, nudged you playfully.

"Come on, Y/N! Let's make today a good one. Leave all that drama on the shore."

You nodded, silently vowing to try and embrace the fleeting escape from the troubles that haunted your thoughts. The boat sliced through the water, carrying you both away from the island, if only for a moment, and you allowed the gentle rocking to lull you into a tentative sense of peace.

As the boat glided through the sunlit waters, you could feel JJ's gaze on you, his eyes tracing the contours of your tanned skin as it absorbed the warm, golden rays. The sunlight played with the strands of your hair, creating a halo of light around you. Despite the turmoil in your mind, you found solace in the soothing embrace of the sun, its radiant touch becoming a balm for the wounds that lingered within.

JJ, perceptive as always, recognized the subtle shift in your demeanor. "Sunshine suits you, Y/N," he remarked with a grin, attempting to sprinkle a touch of lightness into the moment.

You chuckled softly, the genuine warmth in his words resonating with the gentle caress of the sun on your skin. For a fleeting instant, the weight on your shoulders seemed to lift, carried away by the sea breeze as the boat continued its leisurely journey across the open waters.

JJ glanced at you, concern etched across his features as he steered the boat through the gentle waves. "Y/N," he began, the hum of the boat's engine providing a backdrop to his words, "how have you been handling everything? I mean, after seeing Rafe and all."

You sighed, your gaze fixed on the horizon. The vast expanse of the ocean seemed to mirror the complexities of your emotions. "It's been tough, JJ. I didn't expect it to hit me that hard," you admitted, fingers absentmindedly playing with the edge of your sundress.

JJ nodded, understanding evident in his eyes. "If you ever need to talk about it or anything else, you know I'm here, right?"

A small smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you met JJ's sincere gaze. "Yeah, JJ. I appreciate that more than you know."

The boat sailed on, carving a path through the water as you navigated the currents of your emotions. JJ, a steady presence at your side, offered a reassuring anchor in the sea of uncertainty.

JJ grinned, his eyes reflecting the sunlight as he steered the boat. "You know, despite everything, I'm really glad we got past our previous issues and are still friends. Life's too short for unnecessary drama."

You chuckled, appreciating JJ's positive outlook. "Yeah, JJ, me too. You make everything a little bit easier."

The Chateau's atmosphere was thick with tension as you stormed through the door, your eyes ablaze with anger. JJ followed you, attempting to explain himself, but the hurt in your heart drowned out his words.

"You had no right, JJ!" you shouted, turning to face him. "You ruined everything!"

He held up his hands, a pleading look in his eyes. "I was just trying to be honest. Rafe had to know the truth, he's a fucking dick."

Your laughter was bitter and filled with frustration. "Honesty? You call this honesty? You destroyed my relationship with Rafe, and for what? To play the hero? You had no right meddling in my life!"

JJ's expression hardened. "I did it because I care about you! Rafe was gonna know the truth about the plan eventually."

Your fists clenched at your sides. "Well, congratulations, JJ. You've not only lost me my boyfriend, but you've also made sure Rafe will never trust me again. Is that what you wanted?"

He took a step forward, his voice lowering. "I wanted you to be free of the lies. I could see what it was doing to you and I was so pissed at Rafe and I-."

You scoffed, your tone dripping with sarcasm. "And what about hurting me, JJ? Did you even think about that?"

The room felt suffocating as the weight of the argument hung in the air. You turned away, frustration and betrayal burning in your eyes. JJ reached out, attempting to touch your shoulder, but you shrugged him off.

"Don't touch me, JJ," you hissed.

The tension escalated as JJ tried to justify his actions, his frustration mirroring your own. "You don't get it, Y/N. Rafe was pushing me. What was I supposed to do? Let him continue to walk around like he was hot shit?"

You scoffed, disbelief and anger painted across your features. "So, what, you just decided to spill everything? Betray me in the process? You had no right, JJ!"

He crossed his arms, his own frustration mounting. "He was asking for it. All I did was tell him the truth."

Your eyes narrowed. "And you think this is the way to deliver the truth? By ruining everything? You had no right to play hero, JJ. This was my mess to handle."

JJ's voice grew more intense. "He was getting under my skin, Y/N. Taunting me, pushing me to a point where I had to say something."

Your hands clenched into fists. "So, what, you just decided to throw me under the bus? And for what? To prove a point to Rafe?"

JJ's frustration turned into desperation. "I didn't want to hurt you, Y/N. But he needed to know what was going on. You can't keep playing both sides."

Your anger flared, and you took a step closer, glaring at JJ. "I never asked you to play hero, JJ. You took it upon yourself to destroy everything. And for what? To assuage your guilt?"

JJ's expression shifted to guilt as he realized the extent of the damage. "I just thought he deserved to know the truth."

You shook your head in disbelief. "Well, congratulations. The truth is out, and everything's gone to hell. I hope you're happy with what you've done."

The air in the room grew heavier as the argument reached a boiling point, the consequences of JJ's actions and your frustration colliding in a painful clash.

Tears streamed down your face as you hastily packed your belongings, anger and betrayal consuming you. JJ entered the room, concern etched across his face. "Y/N, please, just listen—"

You cut him off, your voice shaking with rage. "Listen? You've done enough, JJ. All you do is ruin everything. I can't believe you thought you had the right to destroy everything I had left."

JJ's eyes pleaded for understanding, but your frustration was uncontainable. "You had no right to tell him, JJ. It was my choice, my secret to keep. And you just trampled all over it."

He took a step closer, trying to calm the storm. "I just wanted him to know the truth, Y/N. He was pushing me, and I couldn't keep lying."

Your voice was sharp and unforgiving. "And look where it got us. Congratulations, JJ. You've successfully dismantled any chance I had left."

As the weight of the situation settled, JJ's remorse deepened. "Y/N, I didn't mean for it to go this way. I just thought he deserved to know the truth."

Your eyes flashed with anger. "Deserved to know? No, JJ, this wasn't your call to make. You don't get to play the hero in my life. Now, I need you to leave me alone. I can't deal with this right now."

JJ's attempts to mend the situation fell on deaf ears as you continued packing, each item a painful reminder of the life you had built on the island, now crumbling under the weight of betrayal and shattered trust.

JJ's voice cut through the tension as he yelled your name, desperation evident in his tone. "Y/N, stop! You're not going anywhere."

Your steps faltered briefly, but the fire within you refused to be extinguished. Turning to face him, you shot back, "Watch me, JJ. I can't stay here. Not after what you've done."

He closed the gap between you, his eyes pleading for understanding. "Y/N, please. We can work through this. You don't have to leave."

But the pain and anger were too fresh, too overwhelming. You shook your head, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. "Work through this? You destroyed everything, JJ. There's no going back."

The porch seemed like a battleground, emotions swirling in the air. You pushed past him, determination in every step. JJ called after you, his voice desperate and broken. "Y/N, I messed up, but running away won't fix anything. We can figure this out together."

You paused at the edge of the porch, a mixture of emotions playing on your face. "No, JJ. I need to go. I need to find some semblance of peace away from this mess. Goodbye, JJ."

And with that, you walked away, leaving JJ standing on the porch, helpless and haunted by the consequences of his actions.

JJ's question pulled you back from the brink of painful memories, and you turned your attention to him. The rhythmic sounds of the boat and the gentle waves around you provided a soothing backdrop to the present moment.

JJ's eyes studied your face, concern evident in his expression. "Hey, you've been through a lot lately. How about we take a break from everything and go to a party tonight? Just let loose and have some fun?"

With a forced smile, you responded, "Sure, JJ. A party sounds like a good distraction right now."

He grinned in response, seemingly content that you were willing to join in. The boat ride continued, the vast ocean offering a temporary escape from the troubles that haunted both your minds. Little did you know, the night would bring new challenges, pushing you to confront the ghosts of your past once more.

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The pulsating beat of the music filled the air as you navigated through the crowded house party. The dim lights flickered in time with the rhythm, casting a hazy glow on the revelers around you. The atmosphere buzzed with energy, and you could feel the bass thumping in your chest.

Taking another shot, you let the warmth spread through you, momentarily drowning out the weight of your thoughts. The scent of alcohol and a mix of perfumes hung in the air as you weaved your way through the dancing crowd.

JJ, your steadfast companion for the evening, kept a watchful eye on you. He had insisted on staying close, sensing that the party might stir up emotions you were trying to escape. Despite the chaos around you, the two of you found a moment of solace by a makeshift bar.

As the night unfolded, laughter and conversations melded into a symphony of chaos. The partygoers, a mix of pogues and tourons, created a dynamic blend of backgrounds and stories. You attempted to lose yourself in the music, letting the beat guide your movements on the makeshift dance floor.

JJ leaned in, his voice just audible over the music. "You doing okay?"

You nodded, the alcohol lending you a temporary sense of detachment. "Yeah, just trying to have a good time."

The night wore on, and the boundaries between reality and the rhythmic pulse of the party blurred. The fleeting moments of joy were punctuated by glimpses of faces that triggered memories — reminders of a past you were desperately trying to escape.

As you lost yourself in the music and the swirling lights, a tall, mysterious stranger approached with a confident smirk on his face. He interrupted your dance, his presence commanding attention. The beat of the music provided the backdrop for his invitation, and you looked up to meet his gaze.

His dark, expressive eyes locked onto yours, and a sly smile played on his lips as he smoothly asked, "Care to dance?" Intrigued by the invitation and the allure of the moment, you returned his smile and nodded, ready to let the rhythm take over and momentarily drown out the complexities of your life.

The tall brunette man's confident smirk widened as you accepted his invitation to dance. The music pulsed through the air, setting the rhythm for your impromptu dance floor connection. You felt the beats vibrating through your body as you turned around to face him, a playful smile dancing on your lips.

The two of you fell into sync, bodies moving to the rhythmic pulse of the music. The dim lights cast shadows on the dance floor, creating an intimate atmosphere. As you swayed to the music, the world around you faded, and the only thing that existed in that moment was the connection between you and the mysterious stranger.

The crowd around you seemed to blur, and the pulsating energy of the party heightened. Your movements became more fluid, and the stranger mirrored your rhythm effortlessly. The playful grinding intensified, creating a charged atmosphere between you two.

As the music enveloped you, you closed your eyes, allowing the rhythmic beats to guide your movements. The stranger's hands found their place on your hips, skillfully leading you in a dance that transcended the bounds of reality. The song's title and the faces around you blurred into insignificance, and for a moment, you embraced the blissful ignorance the dance offered—a temporary escape from the complexities that weighed heavy on your mind.

The tall brunette boy effortlessly spun you around, a mischievous smile playing on his lips. In a bold move, he leaned in, capturing your lips in a heated kiss. His hand found its place on your neck, the warmth of the moment enveloping you as you willingly succumbed to the sensation.

The intoxicating mix of alcohol and the heat of the kiss had your mind swimming in a fuzzy haze, and your body responded, almost getting carried away in the moment. The pulsating beat of the music seemed to synchronize with the rhythm of the kiss, creating a surreal and blissful escape. With your eyes tightly closed, you surrendered to the intensity of the kiss, allowing the thumping music to envelop you in a world of its own. Each passing second seemed to stretch into a timeless embrace, and the chaotic surroundings of the party faded away as you became immersed in the shared desire of the moment.

Your eyes slowly opened after the passionate kiss, only to be confronted with a sight that sent a jolt through your entire being. It felt as though Rafe's face had seamlessly replaced the boy's, staring back at you with an intensity that made your stomach churn. Shocked and unsettled, you instinctively threw your hands over your eyes, attempting to shield yourself from the surreal vision.

The boy, his brows furrowed in confusion, asked with genuine concern, "Hey, is everything okay?"

You shook your head, as if trying to dispel the unsettling image from your mind. With a forced smile, you told him, "I'm fine, just need to grab some water. Be right back."

As you stumbled through the crowded house, the disorientation intensified. The unfamiliar faces seemed to blur together, and the thumping music resonated in your ears. In your hazy state, you navigated the halls in search of a bathroom. A fleeting glimpse of a couple passionately making out in the hallway caught your attention, causing you to pause for a moment.

Suddenly, the faces morphed into Rafe and Sofia, and you winced at the surreal sight. Horror gripped you as the couple noticed your presence and looked at you with confusion. The disconcerting illusion lingered for a moment before you shook your head and hurriedly moved away, desperately seeking refuge from the unsettling images.

"Oh my God," you mumbled to yourself as you stumbled away from the confusing scene. Frantically, you found the bathroom and hurriedly stepped inside, locking the door behind you. Sliding down the door, you lowered your head into your palms, overwhelmed by sobs as you questioned your sanity. The disconcerting images and the weight of the emotions you had been trying to escape crashed over you, leaving you in a state of confusion and despair.

Your bloodshot eyes scanned the bathroom, the running mascara on your face revealing the sorrow you had tried to avoid for months. Pulling your phone out of your pocket, you unlocked it with trembling hands, uncertain about where you were going with it. Frantically scrolling through your contacts, you searched for a sense of comfort in somebody. Eventually, you landed on Rafe's contact name. Your finger hovered over it as your hands shook, tears streaming down your face. The inner turmoil and the overwhelming emotions pushed you to the edge, and the idea of reaching out to him seemed like the only lifeline in that moment.

The room echoed with the sound of the ringing phone as you sniffled, your heart pounding with each passing second. The uncertainty of whether Rafe would answer or not intensified the anxiety that already gripped you. Each ring felt like an eternity, and in the midst of your emotional chaos, you questioned the wisdom of making that call.

"Y/N?"

The familiar voice sent a jolt through your system, and for a moment, you were paralyzed with a mix of relief and fear. "Rafe?" you uttered, your voice shaky and vulnerable.

There was a brief pause on the other end, as if Rafe was processing the unexpected call. "Yeah, it's me. Are you okay?" His voice carried a mix of concern and confusion.

Torn between the impulse to lie and the desire for honesty, you took a deep breath and decided to open up. "I… I'm not okay, Rafe," you admitted, your voice quivering with emotion. "I saw something, and I just needed someone to talk to."

Concern laced Rafe's response. "What happened? Are you in trouble?"

Your throat tightened as you recounted the strange encounter at the party, the hallucination that overlaid familiar faces onto strangers. "I don't know, Rafe. Everything is a mess, and I feel like I'm losing my mind."

Rafe's tone softened. "Where are you right now? I'll come get you."

You hesitated, unsure whether you wanted to involve him in your chaotic emotions. But, deep down, a part of you yearned for his presence. "I'm at a party… I don't even know whose house this is. Can you just… talk to me?"

Rafe assured you, "Okay, okay just relax. Send me the address and I'll be there in a few minutes. Hang tight, okay?" With that, the call ended, leaving you in the bathroom, the echoes of the party outside muffled by the closed door.

You heard knocking on the door suddenly, which made you flinch. You stood up and flung the door open, met with the sight of a random couple looking at you with confusion as they noticed your mascara running down your face. You pushed past them and made your way down the staircase. The pounding music and flashing lights disoriented you as you navigated through the crowded house. The staircase seemed never-ending as you descended, your mind clouded with a mixture of emotions. Finally, you reached the ground floor and burst through the front door, stepping into the cool night air.

The front yard offered a temporary escape from the overwhelming atmosphere inside. You took deep breaths, attempting to steady yourself. The grass beneath your feet felt cool and damp as you moved away from the entrance, finding a quiet corner of the yard to gather your thoughts.

As you leaned against the side of the house, you heard the distant thumps of the music echoing through the walls. The sounds of laughter and chatter were muffled in the open air, providing a brief reprieve.

The tears flowed freely as the memories of nights spent stargazing with Rafe flooded your mind. The stars above seemed to mock you, their distant twinkles resembling the fragments of your shattered heart. Alone in the darkness, you held your knees to your chest, unable to contain the sobs that wracked your body.

Each breath felt like a struggle, and the weight on your chest grew heavier with each passing moment. The cool night air did little to soothe the burning ache within you. It was as if the universe conspired to amplify your pain, echoing the emptiness you felt in the vast expanse of the night sky.

You wished for a moment of respite, a break from the relentless waves of sorrow crashing over you. Yet, in that isolated corner of the front yard, surrounded by the distant sounds of the party, you couldn't escape the overwhelming loneliness that consumed you.

Amidst the chaos of the party, you remained oblivious to the passing onlookers, their glances carrying a blend of confusion and judgment. The world seemed to close in around you, suffocating you in its relentless grip. Each heartbeat resonated with the pain echoing through your chest, and the weight of the night pressed down on you, making it hard to breathe.

The disapproving stares from strangers blurred into the background as your own internal turmoil took center stage. The universe felt indifferent to your suffering, and the isolation in the midst of a crowd intensified the sense of despair. It was a moment of vulnerability, a raw display of emotions that transcended the boundaries of the party atmosphere.

You clung to the hope that, perhaps, the night would offer some solace. Yet, as the minutes passed, the agony within you showed no signs of relenting. The facade of composure shattered, leaving you exposed to the harsh realities of heartbreak and longing. In that moment of profound vulnerability, you wrestled with the overwhelming pain that threatened to consume you entirely.

The cacophony of your breakdown was abruptly interrupted by a familiar voice cutting through the chaos, calling out your name with a mix of concern and shock. Startled, you halted your sobbing, slowly lifting your tear-streaked face to meet the gaze of the person before you.

There, standing in front of you, was Rafe. His expression revealed a cocktail of emotions—worry, surprise, and a hint of something else. His eyes, once filled with an intensity that was familiar to you, softened as they locked onto yours. The party's chaos seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you in that moment of unexpected reunion.

As the night air hung heavy with the remnants of your tears, you and Rafe stood there, the unspoken weight of your shared history lingering between you. The world around you momentarily ceased to exist, and the only sound that mattered was the echo of your name in his voice.

"Y/N?"

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sorrowfulrosebud · 8 months ago

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Oh boy jokes on you, saying "give me Shoji asks" summons me from the void! How about werewolf or puppy boy head canons? Like he's had a hard life, and reader is just good and gentle to him? Calls him a handsome boy?

I AM FIFHTING THE URGE TO CONVULSE TWITCH AND DIE AHHHHHHHH ANON I LOBE UIUE BIG BRAIN SO MUCH

🜸 First and foremost, Shoji is definitely a big dog breed. I’m thinking like Tibetan Mastiff. Big, beefy boy with the fluffiest ears and MASSIVE tail.

🜸 I think reader would most likely have adopted Shoji in a hybrid adoption shelter. He had a very neglectful past; his mother passing not long after birthing him, being thrown from house to house. Some people were really mean and beat him, giving the poor puppyboynasty scars on his mouth 🥺🥺

🜸 He handed himself in to the shelter. He couldn’t afford to live on the streets since he needed a bed and food. Poor puppy just wanted a proper chance at a family 🥺

🜸 Many families pulled faces at the thought of keeping Shoji. He was so so big, and given his background they all thought he’d be too rough with the kids.

🜸 SOBBING THATS WHEN HE WEARS A MUZZLE TO MAKE PEOPLE FEEL COMFORTABLE BUT DOESNT REALISE IT CAUSES THE OPPOSITE ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

🜸 You end up wandering into the adoption agency, looking for a more mature hybrid to take home. You were brought in front of the MASSIVE hybrid who looked far too cramped for his pen :(

🜸 His eyes shone a little at the idea of being seen. You knelt in front of him, offering him a smile before seeing the muzzle.

The attendant at the agency led you through the heavy metal door amidst all of the noisy yapping of other hybrids. He knocked on Shoji’s door to get his attention.

Shoji’s fluffy ears pricked up. A meeting? Someone wanted to see him?! Quiet hope flooded his system. He hoped that this person would be lovely, and love him like he deserved.

You step back a little to give Shoji his space as he opens the door. The hybrid’s head bumped noisily against the door as you winced in sympathy. A small whine left his lips as he rubbed his sore ears, before shutting up and looking at you.

Your eyes widened a little bit at the sight of the bulky muzzle. You couldn’t recall a history of biting or aggression. Putting that aside, you smiled softly at the tall puppyboy. Shoji’s tail wagged slowly, bending down so he was sat on his knees in front of you. Again, your eyes widened at his practised submission.

You got to your knees too, leaving a respectful amount of space between the two of you.

“Hello, sweet boy. My, aren’t you so pretty,” you cooed softly, offering a hand for Shoji to sniff if he should so want. Onyx eyes widened.

He was…pretty?!

His head found itself slowly dropping, until it made contact with your hand. Your fingers worked a gentle rhythm near the base of his ears, hearing the womp of his tail behind him. You giggle softly, much to Shoji’s delight. Your head turns to the attendant.

“Can we get the paperwork started, please? I’d love to take Shoji home today if possible.”

🜸 You’d asked about the muzzle, your heart melting when the attendant said that he only took it off to eat. He said that Mezo was frightened of people seeing his face and being scared of him.

🜸 He also gave you his history. Mezo did NOT do well with abandonment. He was a very anxious hybrid, often bending over backwards for other hybrids so they would like him, much to no avail.

🜸 You took Mezo home that day.

The thick door of your home opened slowly, allowing Mezo to sniff around. His tail hadn’t stopped wagging since you clipped the generic brand collar around his neck. The leash hung loosely in your hand, making Mezo a little anxious but didn’t dampen his new mood.

You undid your shoes, placing them neatly on the rack. A hearty sigh left your lips as you faced your new puppyboy.

“Well my sweet boy, I’m super hungry. Would you like some lunch?” You offered him gently.

Mezo’s mind blanked out at the nickname.

He was…sweet?

“Mezo?” You asked him softly. Black eyes snapped back to you as he stood awkwardly in the hall. Is it too soon to ask for cuddles? You smiled at him softly.

“Here, come in the living room. You’re free to explore anywhere you like,” you explained happily, leaving to go to the kitchen. A quiet whine makes you turn your head around to the shaky puppyboy. Your heart melted at the sight of his teary eyes.

“Oh no, sweet pup don’t cry! I know new places can be scary,” you walk to him, slowly placing your hands in his snow white locks.

His tail wagged as his hands struggled to stay by his sides. You caught on immediately.

“Would you like to cuddle, my good boy?” You ask him softly. Mezo nodded wildly, following you to the couch. He kneels in front of you, wrapping his arms around you as he rests his face against your tummy. The muzzle rides uncomfortably into your tummy as you wince.

“Mezo? You know you can take the muzzle off. I know you don’t have a problem with biting or aggression.”

Mezo physically tenses beneath you.

“I know of your background. I know your poor face has been scarred. But please know,” you lift his teary face with your hands.

“I’m never going to give you up. You don’t need to keep the muzzle on whenever we’re in the same room. I understand if you want to keep your face covered until you feel comfortable, but I have some bandanas and masks. They’d be so much better for your poor skin,” you offered, kissing Mezo’s forehead gently.

Poor Mezo’s brain was melting. So much praise and choice was too much.

“M-mask please,” he mumbled shyly. You smiled at the sound of his gruff voice.

“Of course, sweet boy.”

#🥀 rambles #AHHHHH THIS IS PROBS ASS BUT IM SLEEPY #bnha x reader #shoji mezo #mezo shoji #shoji #mezo shoji x reader #mezo x reader #hybrid bnha #hybrid bnha x reader

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definitely-not-a-wasp · 1 year ago

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All of Iggy's power-boosts become much more acceptable if you decide that they're not actually power boosts, but instead Iggy "canonical genius who fucks with dangerous things he definitely shouldn't touch" Griffiths taking a page out of Jeb's book and doing horribly unethical science through the first three books.

He only started acting upset about being blind after leaving their home, because it was at that point that being blind became a liability in his life. This grows through books 1-3, until the entire flock is kidnapped and conveniently brought back to the School, where sure, Iggy's a prisoner, but suddenly he has access to supplies and research. And then, oh so conveniently, he starts being able to sense color and have limited sight on white backgrounds (see: in bright lighting).

I think Iggy was gathering information from the Institute for Higher Living (mostly what he could glean through "innocent questions") and from his own memories of the School, to try to give himself a boost. In fact, I think it started in SoF, and that's why Iggy had a breakdown over being blind— what he was trying wasn't working, because he didn't have a full laboratory full of resources or all of the puzzle pieces he needed. And he's not about to talk to anyone else about it, because not only would they probably freak the fuck out about him using himself as a test subject, but he also knows that... frankly, they probably wouldn't be able to help him. Nudge is great with tech, Fang is an investigator at their core, Max is an excellent tactician, but when it comes to biology, to chemistry, to anything that strays to the School, he's the person who handles those subjects.

What's that? They're breaking back into the School? Iggy is 10/10 on board.

What's that? They're getting kidnapped by the School and Angel betrayed them? Not great, but he's been during disadvantages into advantages for most of his life. He can do it one more time.

They're breaking into ITEX now? Even fucking better.

Sitting in the dining room of the Martinez house, after ITEX is distroyed, after several sleepless nights of injections and eyedrops and saying it's going to work this time, he can see pinpricks of light at the edge of his vision. By the time he boards the Wendy K, he can see light. Sometimes, when he focuses until his head aches, he can pick up movement against bright backgrounds. Not much, but enough that he can move out of the way of an oncoming attack. And that's all he needs.

Then he picks up a plastic cup and tastes something on the back of his tongue that he can only describe as blue, and tastes bad, and wonders what the fuck else he accidentally caused.

#maximum ride #maximum ride on main #iggy (maximum ride)#look that entire plot point becomes better if Iggy's miraculous pseudo-sight is something that HE does #and not the universe going “well you can't function without sight”#and YES the color-sight was entirely accidental #And there were probably other side effects that weren't as pleasant but that's what happens when a feral 14-year-old does mad science #mad scientist Iggy AU

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andreaheartscats · 11 months ago

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Sleepover with Sal Fisher

NO, this is not going to be nsfw.

characters: Sal Fisher

it was a little past 7pm. Sal invited you for a sleepover! of course you said yes since you two were best friends. (maybe something more who knows👀) Sal happily opend the door once he heard you knock. you couldnt see it but he was smiling under his mask since you could baerly see his eyes. "come on in!" said Sal as he opend the door wider for you to enter. Thanking him you got inside taking your shoes off. "ill go leave your jacket in my room, you can sit in the living room." he said as he went off into his room to neatly place your jacekt away.

Sals dad wasnt home, which meant that you two had the living room for yourselfs.. the whole apartmant better said. as you sat down on the comfy couch gizmo immediately got up onto your lap and made himself comfortable. petting him slowly as you listen to him pur quietly, you didnt even notice Sal was standing in the door way with his arms corssed.

"seems like he took a liking to you. sometimes i think he loves you more tha me." Sal said sarcastically as you two laughed a little together. He got you two some drinks and snacks sitting on the table infront of the couch.

"alright lets start this movie marathon!" you said as Sal nodded with his head and put on the first horror movie of the night. Since his dad was out that meant you two could smoke. Taking your pack of cigarettes, you take one out and lighting it up as you inhale the smoke. Sal took one for himself as well and placing it gently in the ashtray infront of you two.

the night was amazing. the rain started to pour outside lightly but after sometime it picked up and it started to pour. making yourself comfortable on the couch you kept all your focus on the movie and he did too. there were a few jumpscares that made you jump up here and there which only lead to you two laughing at each other and then continue watching the movie.

it was a calm rainy night... except for you two that were screaming after a doll moved on its own in the movie... Things were going well, you and Sal ate all of the snacks by now and finished most of the movies. but soon the tiredness and sleepeness got to you. you fell asleep on the couch comfortably while Sal kept on watching the movie.

soon he noticed you fell asleep. turning the tv off he bought a blanket that he coverd you with. not wanting you to sleep alone, (lets be honest he was scared from the movies he jusz doesnt want to admit it) he decided to sleep on the sofs close to the couch. leaving a faint light turned on in the background he made himself comfortable on the sofa and slowly drifted to sleep as you did too before.

-> hello everyone ! its been a hot minut since i wrote something like this! i hope yoi enjoyed it as much as i did while writing it. have good night /day, love you all!!🫶🏻

#sally face #video games #fiction #fanfic #i love sally face #sal fisher #headcanon #x reader #comfort #sleepover

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brandongamesall · 5 months ago

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Here's a short synopsis on why the walking dead season 2 was a great story, but barely places second place as one of the best telltale game sof all time.

1. Kenny was a beloved (half of the time) character that got to be relived for a role taking care of Clementine.

Even though he was a hard butt, everyone can agree this season made Kenny's chatacter come towards a brighter light of who he actually is, and clementine is the one person who can either let him do as he pleases, or puts him in his place.

2. We got to fall in love with more characters most of the time.

We got to feel the characters presence, personalities and traits. Though, they fell short on trying to grow a connection with clementine towards episode 3 and so on, you could tell episode 1 set the stage of what group you're going to be with.

3. They had the greatest villain that has ever lived in telltales the walking dead series!

Though short lived, Carver was actually one of the most evil hearted spirits to ever walk this universe. He felt like the governor from the tv show.

Now, here are the reasons why it fell short from being better than season 1:

1. Kenny was too hard headed and would butt heads with any character for any small disagreement.

The main prospect of this would be Luke and Jane. His hatred towards many people made everyone dislike him, especially at the end when he went on a rampage and even knocked clementine on her butt. He held too much anger and showed all of it.

2. The characters you grew to like from episodes 1 and 2 were starting to be dismantled from clementines story the next episode.

This goes with Luke being put into the background, Nick being killed off more and more ridiculously as each episode rolled by, Alvin Senior, Walter, and Matthew being the main people. And Becca. She had the biggest 180° change that I really hated and I always hated her as a character. The only people you can try to enjoy are Jane, Luke, and Mike.

3. Kenny was the main central person you kind of had to side with.

What I mean by this, Kenny never was agreeable in most situations, but other people always made him the better choice. The game kind of forces you to want to be around Kenny

Overall, I really love this season, but it never can stand above the first season. Though, I still think this is one of the better games I've ever played in my life

#twdg #telltale the walking dead #twdg s1 #kenny #clementine #kenny twdg #twdg season 2 #carver #the walking dead game #jane #jane twdg #luke twdg #luke #nick #alvin #alvin jr

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crimsonicarus · 1 year ago

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I don’t know how not to love you [And i'm fine being ignorant] (piarles, background galex) (some things just must happen pt.1)

“I love yo-”

“Do you?” She was crying but managed to smile through the tears, Kika was not even mad, sad would be a better word, maybe even disappointed “More than him?”

Pierre was 24 when his girlfriend broke up with him, that was the year he accepted he was in love with his best friend, the same year he decided to do something about it.

Alternative: As Pierre looks back at his shared childhood with Charles he realizes it wasn't always mere friendship

A certain something in the middle (Charles/Pierre/George)

It started with Charles, it was followed by Pierre, it ended with George waking up pressed between two warm bodies, the ache on his muscles being a reminder of what happened last night

once upon a dream (Mick/Fred/Jack) [loving a god is only a tragedy if the god does (not) love you back pt.1]

“You are someone else in your dream”

“Michalis”

“And we were somewhere else… It was long time ago”

“So it happened… I died?!”

“Long long time ago"

The holding of hands and the breaking of glass (sebchal, background britcedes)

It’s been two years since he held Charles in his arms, his once lover was 25 now, standing in front of the crowd as he married prince George, a man his age with the right family name to back him up.

In front of him was beautiful, haunted, martyr Charles. No longer a naive boy, no longer his.

Lando's George (George/Oscar)

There it was, Lando knows George, Logan knows George, apparently even Liam knows George... Why hasn't he met George yet?

in which everyone talks about a particular guy, enough for Oscar to think they are making him up, afterall who says "Blimey", "Crikey" and wears nothing but Tommy Hilfiger?

Whatever here that's left of me is yours [just as it was] (britcedes)

His eyes opened again, he was in front of a piano, and Roscoe was playing somewhere, he blinked and he was under water.

His name was Lewis Hamilton and he was writing his second album.

Stop the World I Wanna Get Off With You (piarles)

It was easy with Charles, talking, spending time, being silent. It felt natural, like breathing. Laughing at his awful jokes came from his mouth effortlessly, like another mother tongue

A Fever You Learn To Live With (Jenson/Nico)

His name didn't matter. He was Helios once until he was forgotten and renamed, they changed his identity. But it was okay. He was adored, he was Apollo. His lover chose to call him Nico in this life, and he was no longer worshipped, it was better. He was loved.

But Jenson smiled at him, and he was so beautiful, like the day they met, like the day Nico fell in love with him, beautiful as the day he died, beautiful as the day Nico found him again.

It's called: free fall (George/Toto - George/Lewis)

George was eight years old when he called the devil, he was 12 when the devil did come.

Footy fics

Honey, please try to love me (martindale)

Martin has a crush that he shouldn't have, Mikel has a problem he shouldn't have. Aaron is waiting for a miracle. The others are waiting for thee day when they stop acting like idiots

Now he is mine (Julian Draxler/Mats Hummels)

It was wrong, he knew it was wrong. Dammit not even Marco would be on his side on this one, it was the kid. No, not a kid. But Benedikt’s favorite, the one he took under his wing. But what was he supposed to do?

A muse by any other name (Neuller)

Lukas had the idea of taking a class together, the four of them, Robert wanted to take a portrait class, and Bastian thought it would be hilarious to take Joachim’s class only because he heard a sophomore talk about the model of the class.

“It’s just your type Mülli” he said

Lost and found (Leon Goretzka/Julian Draxler/Joshua Kimmich)

They weren’t expecting any visit, and the list of people that would visit and even more being able to get to the door was quite short. Both laying on their sides and deep into each other arms,Leon groaned and Joshua laughed softly at him. “I’ll catch it, be right back. Must be Serge being already bored” and then he left, Leon heard his steps getting far from the room and then disappearing into the void as he reached the living room, and then silence, silence for a few minutes. And then a scream. “Leon, come here!” Okay, that was weird. He stood up fast, took a tshirt an put it on as he made his way to the door, in front of him was Joshua looking pissed, and at the door Julian fucking Draxler with a awkward look and a certain aura of distress around him

Scent like home (Julian Draxler/Erik Durm)

“How are they?” He asked

“Actually a he” Mats talked with a smirk on his face “One of Benni’s favorite cousins to be more accurate”

“Great, now Benedikt will be after my throat

Don't go where I cant reach you (Kroosmes)

Toni wasn’t stupid, yeah. His Spanish was still not the best, and yes, neither were his social skills. But regardless of his silence, he was good at observing, maybe even this was because of his silence.

All the stars in the sky (Julian Draxler/Erik Durm)

After a long day of showing Paris to his lovers, Julian was asleep upside down in the middle of his boyfriends, Matthias was hugging his side while Erik was kissing his shoulder.

“We could draw constellations with his freckles, you know? ” erik asked, his index finger connecting the dots on Julians shoulders and neck, Matthias giggled.

#f1 rpf fic #football rpf #laurie writes #britcedes #piarles #dooschuvesti #sebchal #galex #charles/pierre/george #george/oscar #martindale #neuller #kroosmes #my fics

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macfrog · 8 months ago

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Hi!! A couple things to share —

First, i just finished SCOM. You should be so proud of yourself for such an emotionally tactile story you’ve built, particularly in such a short timeline. I don't have kids and have made medical choices not to have kids, but reading this broke my heart in two thinking about how beautiful an experience this is for reader & Joel, and imagining this for myself in such a lovely way. It felt so real. I think you really captured people as they are. And I think that’s actually really hard to do in a sincere way. It’s easy to fall into dramatics as a writer, but to let feelings and experiences and nuance tell their own story isn’t easy. Idk if that makes sense but I hope it does 💕

Second, there’s so much shit going down in this fandom right now and being new to it all in the last 2 years and probably elderly at 35 years old I don’t really know what to make of it all, except to thank you for all the joy you’ve given me via your writing. I found CLM on AO3 and have since loved SoF and all your one shots. I’m not terribly vocal with comments etc bc I tend to lurk but I think you and so many other fic authors deserve so much credit for sharing your creativity and skills so freely. I have an English lit background and I’m constantly in awe of the storytelling gifts that exist across this fandom. You deserve more respect than you get and I’m sad to see so much negativity. Please know there are more supporters than you might think ❤️

hello! i hope you're well, non. this is so kind of you, thank you so much 🤍

that's what fiction is for, right? planting our feet in these worlds we wouldn't otherwise know, living through the characters. playing pretend for a little while. i had a lot of fun doing that while writing it so i'm honored you had the same fun reading it!

your second point - please feel free to lurk away for as long as you like! i totally get those feelings with everything that's been going on. it can be a lot sometimes. there are countless incredibly talented people who are genuinely wonderful humans in this corner of the internet, and i wish we all felt a little more comfortable to just exist and post our silly stories here.

i really, really appreciate you saying that 🤍 my vibe on here has always and will always be that as long as you're kind, you're welcome around here - in whichever way you'd like to be. lurk, like, reblog, send a message. whatever you feel comfortable doing, i'm more than happy for you to do. i think a lot of writers would feel the same! x

#your support never goes unnoticed and we all love you for it :)#chats #anon #fic luv

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thepomegranatewitch · 1 year ago

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This week's mikveh art: I rewrote the traditional ketubah wording with the Lieberman clause to be between Klal Yisrael and the divine, and rewrote the Lieberman clause as a purification clause. Mimicking the vernacular and Hebrew ketubot style, I added in a poem and my poetic translation of the traditional immersion and shehecheyanu brachot to the left.

I am fascinated by the delineation between purity and holiness, and the fact no-one can be purified, technically, until a Temple is rebuilt. This opens so many possibilities for us!

Since technically all humans are related to humanity and thus ineligible to sign as witnesses, I had Lilith and a golem (I like to think it's the Golem of Prague) sign. I struggled to choose which name of Gd to write in (I collect them, all with shades of meaning) but settled on an ungendered or god-gendered version. In some places you will see the word 'god' or 'godself;' I use god as Elohim's pronouns. Since the month starts with the fresh crescent moon, and it's my name, I centered that at the top of the phases. The papercut is traced off a pomegranate blackwork pattern.

Text on image below image description.

Image description: a ketubah with a background of bright blue and white waves, centered on a photo of the moon. The moon has a white glow. White hamsot in the corners, white pomegranate blackwork in a circle, and white moon phases starting with a rosh chodesh moon at center top circling the moon and text in center mimic papercutting. The ketubah text on right of the moon has a yellow cast to black font and is shaped like a crescent. The remaining space to left is a poem with a purple gray cast. The ketubah is signed in thin cursive Hebrew by Lilith, and childishly large block print Hebrew by the golem. The bottom centered pomegranate holds the artist's signature in red.

~~~

Ketubah text:

On the third day of the week, the third day of the month in the year two thousand four hundred and forty eight since the creation of the world, the era according to which we count here at the slopes of Mount Sinai that Elohim Eloheinu said to Klal Yisrael children of Abraham and Sarah through the line of Yitzhak and Rivkah’s son Yaakov and his wives Leah, Rachel, Bilhah, and Zilpah.

“Be My people according to these laws I have given you, and I will cherish, honour, support, and maintain you in accordance with the custom of Jewish husbands who cherish, honour, support, and maintain their wives faithfully. And I here present you with the marriage gift of these teachings of connection, which belongs to you, the law of Moshe and Yisrael; and I will also give you your food as manna and the seven sacred species, tallitot, and necessities, and live with you as your god according to universal custom. And Klal Yisrael, these people consented and became god’s people. The trousseau that they brought to god from their house in silver, gold, valuables, clothing, furniture, and bedclothes, their stiffneckedness and chutzpah and thankfulness and dedication, all this Elohim accepted in the sum of themselves, and Elohim the bridegroom consented to increase this amount from god’s own property with the sum of six hundred and thirteen teachings of connection, making in all one covenant. And thus said Elohim, the bridegroom: “The responsibility of this marriage contract, of this trousseau, and of this additional sum, I take upon Myself and My heirs after me, so that they shall be paid from the best part of My property and possession that I have of and beneath the whole heaven, that which I now possess or may hereafter create. All My property, real and personal, even the glory which is My raiment, shall be mortgaged to secure the payment of this marriage contract, of the trousseau, and of the addition made to it, during My lifetime as Ein Sof, from the present day and forever.” Elohim, the bridgegroom, has taken upon godself the responsibility of this marriage contract, of the trousseau and the addition made to it, according to the restrictive usages of all marriage contracts and the additions to them made for the children of Yisrael, according to the institution of our sages of blessed memory. It is not to be regarded as a mere forfeiture without consideration or as a mere formula of a document. We have followed the legal formality of symbolic delivery between Elohim Eloheinu, the bridegroom and Klal Yisrael children of Abraham and Sarah through the line of Yitzhak and Rivkah’s son Yaakov and his wives Leah, Rachel, Bilhah, and Zilpah, and we have used as a garment legally fit for the purpose a rainbow, to strengthen all that is stated above, and everything is valid and confirmed.

And both together agreed that if either party in this marriage shall ever become impure, then either spouse may invoke the cleansing of the gathering of the living waters, in a naturally occurring or duly kosher humanmade gathering, to immerse three times as is appropriate under Jewish purity and holiness law; and if either spouse shall fail to honour the purifying powers of the gathering of these living waters or to live in accordance with this cleansing power, then the other spouse may invoke any and all remedies available in healthy community power to enforce acknowledgement of the cleansing powers of this first creation and this solemn abligation.

Attested to [Lilith] Witness

Attested to [GOLEM] Witness

~~~

Poetry text: Note that in order for a ketubah to be kosher, there must be a clearly defined shape to the text with no space to alter the contract. This text is not exactly what appears on the image so as to make it screen reader friendly. All open space has been replaced with words in a font half the size to fill it. These are bracketed so you know what words are repeated to fill the space. They exist between stanzas and in stanzas separating the lines.

[purity holiness] You will never be pure. Oh, sure, one day, perhaps, the stars may align, the calf be born, the stones relaid - but until then see the foxes, jackals, among the ruins. You will never be pure. [purity wholeness] But how wonderful a world of possibilities opens! Instead of pure you can be holy wholly human. [wholeness purity] Your body is your body is the image of God. your choices are your choices are yours. [purity holiness] Immerse, and cleanse yourself. Start anew. Emerge from the womb of the earth trailing amniotic rain. Be wrapped dry in clean white linen, welcomed by name, and your holiness affirmed. [immerse] Return to the head of it all: the gathering of the roiling sea, moon tugging at your blood, lungs sealed shut, as waves push you back, back, back to shore as sun sets orange. [purify immerse] You will never be pure like the moon is not pure: shifting phase to phase above us. like oceans are not pure: glimmering gold and silt and teeming life. like forests are not pure: ancient and fecund and noisy. like gardens are not pure: a riot of life and species cocreating. like birth and death are not pure: bodies riding the cycle. like storms are not pure: winds and rain and lightning. like deserts are not pure: so dry but filled with life when you breathe. like art is not pure: messy with emotion. You will never be pure: but you are holy. [holy] We long to re-enter living waters and they long to hold to us, gift us their slippery purity now we have forgotten to breathe them - only hold them in our veins - but more than that we long to exit the waters and stride forth onto surety. [holy] Blessed are You, She Who Contracts our god, Sovereign of Space Time, who has blessed us with these teachings of connection and invites us to immerse. Blessed are You, She Who Contracts, our god, Sovereign of Space Time, who has blessed me with my life, held me, and accompanied me to this moment.

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dearfuturehusbandblog · 1 year ago

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Today's The Day Ok, A Day. Today is "A" Day.

Dear Future Husband,

I haven't discussed this at all, but my cousin is getting married today. He's Reform. And she's... well, she thinks she's Jewish....

They met on a Jewish dating app (which I was shocked to hear because I didn't think religion really meant anything to him at all ever) before she converted. So... as a non-Jew... she was on a Jewish dating app. I didn't realize that was an option.

She grew up kind of in the middle of nowhere with no Jews around and yet something inside of her said she needed to be Jewish, so she set off on her own path to Judaism and although she was like a year away from actually converting, she was seeking a Jewish guy to marry.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Well, sof sof, they dated, they fell in love, she converted reform (which seems relatively meaningless to me, but ok), they got legally married a while ago and moved in together, but the party and "religious" wedding is today.

Unfortunately, he's technically a cohen, so even if she did convert properly, he still wouldn't be allowed to marry her. But I don't think any of that matters to either of them, so... yeah.

It's fun when you try so hard to do things right and follow the Torah and life keeps smacking you down, all the while, those who couldn't care less are out there living happy lives.

Half my family (I'm talking about the religious ones here) are pissed and up in arms about us supporting an intermarriage, the other half is just kind of like 'you can't live anyone's lives for them, nothing we say will make a difference, we're going for shalom bayis with the family, just leave it at that.'

I'm somewhere in between.

But it's my mom's family and she hates dealing with her family because she's always been the odd man out amongst them all and she feels like they're constantly critical of her life. None of that is untrue, but when she's stressed out, everything goes to hell.

As if I didn't already have enough problems with her, she's been amping herself up about this wedding and it's driving me to drink. Well, if I could drink.

Someone texted her last week "pictures are at 4" or whatever and although we all had a discussion that we wouldn't be there until later because BigSis has to work, MotherLivelyHeart refused to respond with that information. So all of Shabbos she was stressing herself and us out with "they're always so mad when I'm late and now we're going to be late" and I was like "if you had told them a week ago when they messaged about it, you wouldn't have to stress about tomorrow because they'd already know it was a pre-set thing and not that we're just running late or trying to avoid pictures."

But of course she couldn't hear it. Because she's her. And it's just exhausting.

I still have no idea what I'm wearing, so I should probably figure that out...

What does one wear to a religious ceremony of an irreligious family? Most of my wardrobe looks like it walked out of the 2004 winter collection for Haute Topic, if that were a thing. I have a few florals, but most of them are white and apparently that's a huge no-no for most weddings, even though the florals are quite prominent and the white is just a background, but whatever.

I also dread being in pictures, so this is going to be fun.

I have these first two and then a lace dress similar to the third that's kind of a brighter teal shade:

So, those are options. But it's supposed to be like 100 degrees and all three need skirts underneath as well as shells, so that's a lot of layers for hot weather. I also have to make sure the shell that matches the dresses is clean...

I probably should have done this a week+ ago, but I kept hoping I'd get sick or something and just wouldn't have to go.

I also have to deal with my hair (which I absolutely hate) and my makeup, which I'm just not in the mood for. And then the wedding location is like two hours away, so it's like half a day of driving and prep for a wedding that probably won't even have any kosher food for us and I doubt we'll be there for more than just the ceremony.

Isn't family just so fun!?

On a brighter note, the a/c was finally replaced on Friday. I meant to do an update last week but got sidetracked and that draft is now moot. But anywho, they came on Monday and the replacement part for the replacement part didn't work either because apparently the unit had some kind of short in it and it was causing all the compressors to fail. So they told us on Thursday that they'd be here Friday with a whole new unit. And chasdei Hashem, so far it's working!

On the downside, this of course means that MotherLivelyHeart and BigSis have it set really low and the entire apartment is now an icebox, because I have no say in how much it's run despite me being the one who pays the electric bill. Because even when things go right they suck.

Anywho, I'm off to raid my own closet and see what's actually summer appropriate and wearable to this sham of a religious wedding that I have no choice but to attend for shalom bayis. Fun.

-LivelyHeart

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Update:

I can't find my layering skirt for the first two dresses. The only ones I can find are black or bright white. Yikes. And I found another floral dress that's all pretty and roses but I don't have a shell the right color to go with it, which is probably why I have yet to wear it anywhere....

Undone by my own lack of proper planning. Is anyone really that surprised? It's also 8am and I haven't gone to sleep yet, so.... yeah, today's gonna' suck.

Update 2, after the wedding:

I ended up going with the first dress. It was technically long enough to wear without a layering skirt but I still wore a black pencil skirt underneath, just in case my knees were visible when I sat. Although the only sitting was during the ceremony and the chairs were so close together my knees wouldn't have been visible to anyone anyway. But, better safe than sorry! I sat in the little bit of shade that existed in the seating, so I hit homeostasis pretty quickly and despite wearing so many layers, I didn't sweat all that much in the almost 100° F weather, chasdei Hashem.

#jumblr #frumblr #shidduch #frum #jewish dating #orthodox #shadchanim #shidduchim #jewish #shadchan #dating #shidduch dating #i am the shidduch crisis

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robynrileyart · 2 years ago

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i was messing around with this stupid oc meme i found but then realised as i was going to save it that this is the first file going into my 2023 art folder....... bit embarrassed....... but moving on:

DIES FIRST: albert (thinks he can handle the killer on his own but he can't). annie (does something so stupid and the audience hate her). henry (does something so stupid and the audience hates him). maxim (dies before horror movie plot starts........ suspiciously).

DIES PROTECTING OTHERS: john (happens late in the movie, everyone cries). hank (we all knew he was too sweet and would get himself killed trying to help). laura (does something so stupid and the audience loves her). valens (a side character 5 people in the whole fandom hyperfixate on but everyone else forgot exists immediately after he is off-screen).

SURVIVES BY SKILL: bastian (nobody is remotely surprised, fan favourite, spends the whole movie sad about his wife (laura) dying). georgie (extremely badass, the girls and gays adore him. the straights fear him). nix (super annoying jesus christ, but he's good and he's only annoying because he doesn't like your favourite character and not bc he's ACTUALLY annoying). cal (does nothing by halves, gets into so many situations she shouldn't walk away from but does anyway).

SURVIVES BY LUCK: lily (she had promising skill but ultimately it's luck that she lives). dione (THINKS she's got promising skill but she's only average but it doesnt matter because she is surrounded at all times by people who love her and protect her with their lives). eddie (you thought i was going to let eddie die? think again!). rosie (i cant kill rosie either!?!?!?!)

KILLS THE KILLER: sof & hector (they team up to become an ultra dream team and hector spends the whole time thinking "my god sof could so easily have been the killer. she could've woken up wrong that day and just started butchering. i am glad to be on her good side" and sof doesn't think about him at all, tho occasionally uses him as a human shield)

IS THE KILLER: enyo & honoria (honoria has plans to take over the world and enyo wanted in. enyo is like the evil witch in the background. she and hector have another fight to the death to the death to the death (they're both immortal so just keep respawning and starting again). enyo eventually gives up when she realises it's all over, and honoria dies at the end of the movie. hector will let enyo go and the audience will hate him for it)

THAT SIDE CHARACTER 10 MINUTES INTO THE MOVIE THAT WARNS THE PROTAGS TO STAY AWAY: casper (i had to include him somewhere. his cameo makes exactly four people (whom i can name) yell "NOT HIM AGAIN" and then he never shows up again. we create fan theories about what he got up to while staying out of the plot at all)

#ocs #art meme #i had too much fun with this HAHAH #laura dying ..... sorry girl xx #dione are you glad i FINALLY remembered your name SJDHSJDHJSHD #all of hectors ex wives and husbands in the same room with his gym buddy (sof)#georgie and eddie would immediately love each other like we're talking besties we're talking exchanging stories #they are best friends #dione is not as nice honestly and probably would be super jealous JSHDJSHDJH #omfg i just remembered i wrote a WHOLE reincarnation short story about hector meet dione again and she's actually nice.........#so maybe they would all get along............#lily would be so in awe of laura the whole time #laura not doing anything standing there awkward as HELL:#lily: she's the coolest person i've ever met #cal falls instantly in line with bastian and laura also they're all just immediately besties #nix is a loner shows up sometimes #maxim is actually also in the honoria pic ........ not doing so well SJDHSJHDJHSD

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chororine · 1 year ago

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takoyaki party thoughts (MAJOR SPOILERS)

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THE FIGHTING YOWAI...... THE FIGHTING YOWAI IS REAL

youtube

I... maybe be stupid because when I got to that scene my brain rapidly flicked between "BABY TOTOKO FLASHBACK...? TOTOKO BABY SIBLING...? TOTOKO'S FAMILY FRIEND NEW BABY...?" until Sof (my bf whom I was watching it with) piped up "TOTOKO'S BROTHER???" he says he's more of a casual Ososan fan and is mostly invested in Kara as a character and supporting his gf's special interest but still picks up on details like that before said gf. his brain is enormous (like his d

when I saw that this movie was directed by Hikaru Yamaguchi who started her career as an animator on Deen Higurashi I joked "this movie better have punishment games and time loops" but I was surprised when it DID kinda turn into a time loop story in the last 15 minutes or so, or at least Totoko tries to turn it into one but Reality Ensues? I think my only major problem with the movie was how that interesting idea wasn't fleshed out particularly well, and they don't explain how they broke out of their "time loop" at all - they do imply Totoko, Matsuyo and DekaDayon came out of the experience making small positive changes in their lives but they don't SHOW them coming to the conclusion that they SHOULD. it felt like the movie skipped the big emotional climax and cut right from a random exterior shot to the denouement

that said, even if the movie stumbled at the last hurdle I did really enjoy 90% of it - I'm a Hipipo apologist but I do think TakoPa is the FUNNIER movie, with super snappy comedic pacing and jokes coming thick and fast (...heh) as opposed to Hipipo's meandering pace and repetitive jokes, only really finding its comedic footing about halfway through when there's a timeskip indicated by the Matsus getting their tans (and stumbling a bit even then). just like my favourite parts of Hipipo were the boys bonding and vibing with the tribe, my favourite parts of TakoPa were the whole Akatsuka Ward gang just hanging out and having fun, each getting their little moments to shine but ultimately being one big, very weird found family

come to think of it Hipipo and TakoPa kinda feel like two sides of the same coin: people are inevitably gonna have preferences but ultimately, it's a good thing that last year gave us a movie for people who love the broad, cartoony, larger-than-life aspects of the show (hello) while this year gave us one for those love the down-to-Earth, slice-of-life aspects. I think that's a better way to celebrate Osomatsu-san's 6th anniversary even if this year is its 8th anniversary but the official Twitter still says TakoPa is for the 6th so just go with it (and, coincidentally, Osomatsu-kun's 60th anniversary) than giving us one big movie that tries to be too many things at once and fails at all of them (...like the time they already did that. this is a certified Eiga no Osomatsu-san (2019) hate blog.) I'm kinda surprised I haven't seen anything about a double feature screening of both in Japan because that would just feel so right

one of the few things Hipipo and TakoPa have in common is some nice moments of wordless storytelling: Hipipo had the three montages of the Matsus interacting with the tribe and TakoPa's opening 10 minutes are almost dialogue-less, save for some background character chatter and an "itadakimasu" from Oso. both could be seen as a budget-saving measure to get around the expensive seiyuu cast, but they also work as an artistic choice - if they commit to the bit and make s4 into a straight-up silent comedy as a way to resolve the issue of the title character's iconic voice actor being a scumbag, I'll be all for it tbh

as enjoyable as TakoPa is, it's still ultimately an hour long bottle episode, with only previously established locations and characters (Nyaa's daughter gets more screentime than ever before to the point where she FEELS like a new character, and an absolutely precious one at that, but her existence WAS pre-established in s3) and taking place mostly in the main characters' home - not inherently bad, but an odd choice for possibly the last piece of "mainline" media in a franchise. the only thing that kept it from being completely underwhelming in that regard was some smart meta commentary that the Japanese fandom also picked up on so it definitely wasn't just me projecting: Totoko (we, the fans) wanted to keep the party (show) going forever in order to escape her (our) cruel reality and feelings of inadequacy, even at the cost of making her friends (the staff) burnt out as fuck. I find it deeply meaningful that the party did, in fact, end (even if they glossed over HOW), and they didn't give the movie a surreal, nihilistic ending like so many episodes of the show - if Totoko can continue to work on her idol career, Dekapan can find new animal friends even after the death of old ones (nice oblique reference to his love for cats in -kun!!!) and Matsuyo can reach out to other women around her own age, maybe we too can find meaning in this world even if the sextuplets can't. I wonder how much of the script was written before vs. after the Sakurai scandal sealed the show's fate (maybe)...

come to think of it, a good succinct way to describe Totoko in this movie is as the character I WISH Takahashi had been: a vessel for us, the fans', feelings towards the Matsus who ACTIVELY tries to affect the characters' world in ways that challenge both them and the viewer, rather than a passive damsel waiting for them at the end. you go TakoPa Totoko four for you TakoPa Totoko

back in November when I'd watched all three Ososan movies that existed at the time - Eiga no Osomatsu-san (2019), Eiga Osomatsu-san (2022) (the live-action one, yeah it's confusing) and Hipipo - I thought Hipipo, despite its flaws, was my favourite of the franchise's movies. I felt the same way immediately after the credits of TakoPa finished rolling... but as I went around unblocking Japanese Matsutwitter accounts now I no longer have to worry about spoilers, I found a poll that kinda made me rethink everything??? for nearly a year I'd been operating under the theory that the Western Ososan fanbase just "didn't get" Hipipo and that the show's true target audience of Japanese adults who'd grown up with Osokun would validate my positive feelings towards the movie - but that poll made me question if said positive feelings were just a result of the context in which I saw Hipipo for the first time (unspoiled, reacting to it along with the man I love, and by my own power instead of Crunchyroll's). regardless of whether or not I SHOULD, I now feel kind of apologetic to the Japanese fandom for insisting that the Western fandom "just didn't get it" while forgetting that oh wait, I'M a Western fandom. at this precise moment I'm not sure how I feel about the 6th anniversary movies overall; maybe it's still a case where one is "objectively better" than the other but I still prefer the "worse" one for personal reasons? is that allowed??? or maybe I don't passionately love OR hate either of them the way I passionately love the TV show and passionately hate Eiga (2019). maybe it's too soon to properly assess my feelings and I should rewatch the two back to back in a few months/a year, idk

but I will say this: of the four movies, three of them made me cry on first viewing (Eiga with sadness, live-action with laughter at one particular scene, and Hipipo with joy, also at one particular scene). TakoPa was the only Ososan movie to NOT make me cry - I guess by that metric it's the most "meh" of the four, at least for my taste, but still a worthwhile entry in the franchise and a satisfying note to (possibly) end it on

Ichi NEEDS to catsit for DekaDayon

#osoKatsusan #osomatsu san spoilers #takoyaki party spoilers #spoilers #spoiler

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