#sobs bc it's been years
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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there are just so many ways to say "i love you"
#i'm so emo about them i'm so sorry#THEY'RE JUST SO...#few3h#fe3h#edelthea#yes i had to sneak in that one quote from edelgard bc i can#i will always point it out that in the jpn ver of their a support edelgard actually says “you are irreplaceable.”#AND IM SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THEM? sobbing crying throwing up#i need them to leave me alone blease it's been five years i cannot go on like this#shut up val#dorogard#dorothea#edelgard
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catch you!!!
#duck scribbles#cardcaptor sakura#ccs#sakura kinomoto#syaoran li#25 years late but#due to reasons i got rly obsessed with the first op and decided to binge the entirety of ccs while i can take advantage of my family's#netflix acc and needless to say these two have absolutely captured my heart. head in hands#syaosaku#a couple eps into clear card rn o999#incomprehensible sobbing they mean the world to meeeeee#my younger sib walking in on me wailing bc he hasnt given her the teddy bear yet#also cried really hard after watching the sealed card that i accidentally recorded my bawling in a friend server im in. it was kinda funny#dont ask a woman her age a man his salary and duck how many times they rewatched sakuras confession and bawled about it#you dont get it though i havent been this giddy over smth in a long time. theyre so cute i need to bash my head into a wall
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ever since the 5.2 trailer this is all ive been able to think about
once again, the genshin pokemon au thoughts are running wild
excuse the mega long rant in tags bc i geeked out perhaps a lil too much abt pkmn au but ourghghg.... we do not talk abt how i spent at least an hour writing all this out....
#just genshin <3#ororon with noibat and noivern... maybe he has like... a pkmn daycare kinda thing going on and lots of baby pkmn like to follow him around#and citlali with psychic pkmn like espeon espurr and both male and female meowstics...#omg wait citlali with both of the meowstics as her companions would be so funny hold on 😭#and capitano with absol.... and also aegislash bc yes he so would have that stance change... + with it being able to detect#qualities of leadership in ppl and capitano literally having the perfect leadership + justice-like sense of duty is so !!#and corviknight and bisharp.... yeah...#idk but capitano with dark and/or steel types >>>>#OR EVEN A GALLADE OMG WAIT CAPITANO WITH A GALLADE WOULD BE SO COOL TOO?? ESP MEGA GALLADE???#it being the master of courtesy and swordsmanship and has an honourable warrior image... wait thats actually perfect...#ALSO MUALANI WITH A SHARPEDO ANYTHING ELSE IS WRONG !!! but she would also have a buizel/floatzel too...#maybe an alolan raichu too??? that would be pretty cute actually#kinich with a serperior???? i think that could work... or at least a really sassy snivy KJHD#also lk can see him with a tsareena 😭 also a lil baby turtwig would be cute too... sobs...#SCEPTILE TOO OMG#kachina would maybe have a lil gible or wooper or sandshrew... omg wait maybe a rockruff :((#xilonen maybe would have an excadrill?? hmm.. idk bc i can kinda see her with a garchomp... maybe a luxray too?? hmm........#chasca would maybe have a braviary? or a talonflame actually... honestly can see her with a gyarados too 🧍♀️ but also mega pidgeot...#AND MAVUIKA !! can see her with a mienshao... WAIT NO A BLAZIKEN???? + /MEGA/ BLAZIKEN?????? omg infernape and cinderace too...#mavuika with fire + fighting types >>>>#anyway this is too long and it was just the natlan cast haha....#pls no one understands how much i love pkmn and genshin pkmn!au has been rotting the back of my brain for years#pls... i need to actually make this a series or smth bc u can BET reader would have like... a gardevoir companion bc gardevoir <3 ;w;#but also u would have an eevee walking companion alongside gardevoir too !!#man... this actually makes me want to go back to the fic draft holy hell
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@heropartnerweek Day 6 - Farewell / Return
with this franchise always having that set formula of your character leaving/dying/getting erased from existence at the end, i really like how PSMD turned the tables and had your partner have to go instead. and by 'really like' i mean i was distraught pmd how could you do this to me-
but yeah, the set-up of having that aching dread that now that you've succeeded in saving the world you'll be forced to leave, wondering how you'll tell your buddy the awful news and then actually it's this?? insane
I ran out of time but hopefully I’ll finish a happier addition to this prompt for tomorrow :’)
#i had to go watch a playthrough of the game to remember exactly how it went bc it’s been like 10 years#and I’d. forgot. that ur friend vanishes into the ether and ur pokemon starts crying and they just roll the credits#directly over your pokemon’s sobbing little form#for 10 whole minutes#what the hell is this game#the pmd franchise for some reason sets out every game to make ppl cry their eyes out over their DS and I have to respect it#pokemon#heropartnerweek#heropartnerweek2024#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd#pokemon super mystery dungeon#psmd#fennekin#art tag
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Father daughter goal fr
SL love week day 4 : scarf/snuggle
@songlanweek2024
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#mdzs fanart#mxtx mdzs#the untamed#chen qing ling#cql#song lan#song zichen#song daozhang#a qing#yi city#魔道祖师#陈情令#宋岚#宋子琛#宋道长#义城#now idk what to draw for tmrw#the ideas are running out uhhh#btw ive been reading the fourteenth year of chenghua and the found family of the main characters remind me of songxiao and aqing *sob#this one is also very low effort bc i kinda need a break LMAO#im not the type of artsist that can grind everyday unfortunately#they could’ve had such an amazing father daughter relationship WHAT IT COULD’VE BEENN#Sl would spoil her sm
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an ending to my Ace Attorney Time Travel AU, sorta. This was drawn when SaveDataTeam finished the Great Ace Attorney Chronicles, but it's only the end of this chapter of the series! There's lots more to come as Susato and Ryunosuke end up in the future once more to meet the Apollo Justice cast, which will start posting in a week from now!
#the 'though it felt like a couple of years' doesnt make sense if youre seeing this thru this blog :sob:#it makes more sense if you had watched me sending this in the savedatateam streams bc i had been drawing the series for over 2 years at tha#point. but posting it here on tumblr its only been over a months ldkfjlsdkjf#aa time travel au#ace attorney#the great ace attorney#ryunosuke naruhodo#susato mikotoba#phoenix wright#maya fey#artists on tumblr#id in alt text
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they're both in committed relationships w/ other people but who can tell me i can't smash them together like barbie dolls every once in a while?
#this looks completely different on my tablet what the fuuuuuuuuuuck which is the truth sob emoji sob emoji sob emoji#eye strain#possibly#chasity#narcissi#it's so hard drawing them together properly bc chas is two feet taller than narci fjdsklfjdf#space hearse#my art#the colors look good on my tablet so if they look bad to you just imagine a version in your head where they look good and enjoy that#WHY DO THEY LOOK DIFFERENT ON ALL THREE OF MY SCREENS THIS IS INSANE#pose is based on a twitter 'draw ur ship' thing#original characters#i think it's been almost two years since i've drawn chas which is so so so so so evil#and also why her legs look so wacky
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aaah sorry i haven't been very active! these last few days have just been very hard to deal with. but earlier i butchered my bangs, so now i feel good as new!! ^^
#the daughter of sorrow ࿇ ࣪ ˖#a part of me is actually shrivelling though#bc i've been growing out my bangs for over a year and now-#sigh...#fuck it we ball! (dejected)#hair grows back!! (sobbing)#....and. my cowlick....kills...me...
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Hey I just finished Hilda season 3 and I am forever changed.
I joke that I could write a thesis about some media but I could really truly talk for hours about how fucking good Hilda is.
It’s core strength, which tears at my heart and soul so earnestly, is that it is not just a story about child adventurer, but equally a story about the MOTHER of a child adventurer and it’s just so beautiful. So impactful.
I think Johanna may be one of my favorite characters… ever. I think she is Absolutey Incredible.
Season three was just so amazing, the whole series is. I beg y’all to watch it because it’s so so good and deserves all the love it can get.
#hilda#hilda netflix#hilda season 3#Hilda is so so important to me and I think it always will be#I’ve had a fear for a long time that as I get older I will no longer see myself in adventure stories bc I’ll be too old#bc they’re all written for younger demographics#someone once said something on here about how young ppl are easier to write bc adults get… specific… as they get older#and that’s so true and I was scared I’d lose my sense of adventure in the stories I read#but Johanna proved me wrong and was everything I’ve ever needed#I see so much of myself in her and she means so much to me#I’m gonna be sobbing about this the rest of the night#that and nursing a headache bc I straight up was either hunched forward or actively on my feet jumping while watching this season#god it’s so fucking good gang#and what a send off#that final goodbye. it’s been a year and we’re back and the raven festival and back to sitting on that wall#god it’s beautiful#my ONLY critique is that they fucked up woodman. I’ll expound later but they fully messed up woodman.
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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Y’all I’m completely flat broke and need cat litter, cat food, and groceries. My phone bill is due on the 7th. I had to call out of work yesterday because of nerve pain and now I only work two days this week and need to pay rent too. I really can’t do this shit anymore I’ve been trying so hard to get by without help bc I never feel like I deserve it but I can’t take it anymore. My friends and partners can only offer moral support bc we’re all fucking poor.
I really don’t know what to say. I know so many of us are struggling and it makes me so mad that ANYONE has to beg online or out on the street just to survive. I’m so angry all the time that community aid is seen as a last resort. It should be easy to find help and support in the people around you and it’s not and it’s bullshit. So few people care.
I don’t have a dollar amount I’m asking for, the number would be so high and I don’t care if I get all I need I just need SOMETHING. Anything to feed myself and take care of my cat.
Please.
#disability#mutual aid#please reblog#please fucking reblog I’m begging you#gfm#donate#donations needed#if you want proof of my bank balance or something you can message me I guess whatever it takes to get someone to care#and not think I’m just asking bc I want to#I don’t fucking want to#I want to kill myself honestly I’ve been struggling for years#and I’m out of pain meds and I just want to cry and never stop#came out of my room to find my roommate didn’t lock the panty and the their cats ripped into and destroyed the loaf of bread I bought#now I just have canned tuna and can’t even make a sandwich anymore and I’ve just been sobbing#I hate this
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dan and phil reaching for each others hands when a jumpscare happens is something that can be so personal actually
#like for years they didn't would have had to edit that out#bc otherwise people would have been SO invasive#and now they feel safe enough to leave it in#i'm just so happy for them i'm sobbing#dan and phil
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I just don’t think I’ve ever been more grateful that they didn’t pull a “surprise! this guy is alive!” with Tech. It felt real, with all of us speculating, too - you always expect him to be there somehow, like it isn’t real, but it was. The war wasn’t fair to them. The Empire did what it does, and ends lives short, takes from those who don’t deserve it. Death is never something to plan for.
And his sacrifice meant everything because of it. He wasn’t some secret clone double agent, or hiding out waiting to be revealed, but he was what the batch treasured most, and what made them all able to live on and see life without conflict. And his goggles are there from the first episode to the last, when Omega grows up and leaves to become a pilot.
So. We got him back in the best way, I think, through memory. At least that was preserved the whole way through.
#like. how heartbreaking would it have been for a reveal. even if we all were theorizing it. yknow?#at least he died how he lived - doing it all for family#sure every pan to his shattered goggles had me pausing to sob but yknow. worth it#and like. I know they’re clones whatever. but I think omega grew up to look the most similar to tech. that’s all#it’s been a year I should start processing this huh jfjsjfjs#anyways finale was everything and more I can’t believe they got a happy ending I’ve never been more overjoyed#and it’s been an honor kfjsnfje I can’t believe it’s over#I’ll be rewatching though bc I sped through this season to catch the finale so I’m gonna go back and make more analysis#this summer though I think#damn what a ride#tbb#the bad batch#tbb spoilers#the bad batch spoilers#tbb s3 spoilers#tbb tech#z speaks
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aye can i get a fuckin uuuhhhh
break. on my burger
#shit chat#family cw#got sicker than i have been in years my bank closed my checking account on accident work is nightmarishly busy#and my mother is sending strings of long voice memos in the family group chat again#i simply will not be listening to them. at most i'll ask my dad or brother for the sparknotes version#bc her pattern for the better part of this year has been radio silence. no attempt at communication whatsoever#and then BAM like 5-10 min worth of voice memos screaming crying sobbing shaking#I DON'T KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET MY CHILDREN TO FORGIVE ME. I'M CRAWLING ON MY KNEES ON THE DESERT FOR A HUNDRED YEARS REPENTING#WHAT THE FUCK IS FAMILY FOR YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND I'M SUFFERING SO MUCH AND I'M ALONE BECAUSE#MY FAMILY ABANDONED ME. I HAVE NO ONE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT I'M BEGGING. I NEED HELP I NEED MY KIDDOS AROUND ME PLEASE I'M DYING#followed by several minutes of sordid updates on her shitty miserable life#which is tbf pretty shitty & miserable. she's extremely physically disabled & mentally ill#her partner had a severe stroke a couple months ago and is still recovering. they've both been in & out of hospital#neither working. partner's adult son who lives with them is the only income in the household#partner's permanently disabled mother also lives with them. plus 2 large dogs 6 cats and 3 each of chickens & ducks#they're in court suing their landlord bc he's trying to evict them but the property is an uninhabitable shithole to begin with#but like. whenever i do make the mistake of responding to one of her groupchat tantrums#she's just like 'oh you know me im a survivor :) i just miss yous is all :) now that you're here i'm gonna bitch about my life for an hour#and ignore everything you have to say and show active disdain & boredom whenever you tell me anything about yourself or your life :)'#and if i offer help she refuses it#like it's just a bid for attention. expecting unconditional love and absolution and salvation from us bc That's What Families Do#she doesn't actually seem to give a shit about any of us as real people. just this ironclad delusion of unconditional family support#that she frankly has not earned#my brother actually did go visit her in the hospital on thanksgiving. driving 2hrs out of his way to do so#and she was a raging passive aggressive bitch to him and threw the gift he'd brought her back in his face#ma'am i know you're Going Through It but so are the rest of us & frankly you've given me zero reason to want to interact w/ ur caustic ass#plus this is petty but yet another way in which she doesn't listen to me & makes no attempt whatsoever at genuine relationship#i've told her numerous times that responding to groupchat voice memos is hard for me. that i love & miss her#and if she wants to see me or needs help or whatever to please contact me one on one either by call or text#nope. refuses to respond to/initiate individual contact. ONLY traumadumping in the fam chat. TLDR MY MOM IS A DISFUNCTIONAL TOXIC NIGHTMARE.
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maxim maresh core
#it’s been far too long since i shat on maxim#used steel prince maxim for this bc it was the only one i could find with this head at that angle#but it reminded me how hot he is in the steel prince#steel prince maxim is a 10/10 even tho he’s still a p r i c k#father of the year award#also i have a whole essay in my notes about the agos scene where kell is sobbing and maxim screams at him#kell maresh i would do anything for you#adsom#a darker shade of magic#shades of magic#kell maresh#a conjuring of light#a gathering of shadows#maxim maresh
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