#so you won't likely see anything like this in the future
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Look shit is going to get bad. It's always going to get bad. But with that it means it'll get better too. What's good and bad is different for everyone. Many things that are bad for you know might stay that way. But many of them will also progress and change and actually get better. Beyond that thought, if you stay and you fight, you will get better. Maybe it is your family that'll always be crazy, maybe the political world will be beyond bleak for the foreseeable future, but if you stay you'll be able to see the things that will improve and will be good. I know so many of us have so much on our plates right now and the results of yesterday and dreadful. But please stay. I promise it'll be worth it.
Sure everything you hope for might not happen but you'll never get to know the things that WILL if you stay. I know the point of this post is mostly to address the dread many of us feel after the election. And I fully get it trust me I do. But as someone who has made that choice before and I am so grateful it didn't work for me to be able to still be here I want to share a few things.
"it gets better" is both right and wrong in my opinion. Yes sometimes the things that have you down so bad that you walk that path can absolutely get better. Sometimes they don't though and while that sucks it's okay. Because as I said before, YOU get better. (Not to run into "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" stuff because I get it, why do we have to be strong) You grow, you learn, you change. And with that growth and change your state of mind often changes too. Admittedly my life isn't too different from when I reached that point, but it's also so much better in so many ways. I'll use my family for an example. My family is so chaotic it's overwhelming and that hasn't changed, what has changed though is my ability to cope with it. I am still the one everyone runs to to fix problems. I still try to fix those problems more than I probably should, but I have started to learn to say no and to put up boundaries with them. So while yes it hasn't changed for the most part the growth I've had within myself has allowed me some space from all the chaos and it's truly helped me.
Then there's things like medication and therapy that's has helped immensely along the way. And I fully understand that not everyone has the same access to things I have been lucky enough to have along the way as the journey is different for everyone. And especially given the outcome of yesterday those things may become even harder to obtain for others. But I will say I also thought a lot of those things were out of my reach and I started asking the right questions and made it a little father (again this won't be true for everyone but hopefully will be able to at least a few)
I reached a standstill with progressing in my career because I didn't know what to do next. One day I got super lucky and met a new person who gave me so much guidance (more than I think they know) and it reignited my passion for my goals (again I know I am super lucky to find myself in that situation). My point with that is we have to be able to reach each other because you never know who you can help (with something that may be simple to you) and who can help you. You don't get to experience that if you're gone.
I'm not trying to get into my whole story or journey but I'm trying to share enough that it makes sense and is understood when I say I know what it feels like to be that low and I know what it feels like to overcome it. So please trust me on that.
I know things are scary right now. So much is uncertain and on the line. But you won't fix it by overly stressing about it and you won't fix anything is you don't stay. Times are going to get challenging and it's going to get hard and rough, but we will always be able to do something about it, especially together. So I can't help you if I leave and you can't help me if you go.
So take some time to process you frustration, your grief, and your fears. Then when you're ready take a deep breath and be prepared. Be prepared to take action. Figure out what is most important to you that you fear will change with the coming times. It could be your number 1 thing it could be a top 3-10 depending on what you have the energy for. And. Then start to learn. What can you do to help, what can you do to make a change, how can you make a difference. Then make a plan. When we all taken action things will start to be okay again.
But we can't inform each other if we're not here. We can't help if we're not here. Like OP said times have been bad before throughout history and humans have survived and we'll survive this. If you need a reminder and it won't mess you up too much look into the things people have preserved through (try not to focus too much on those tragically lost to those times because that won't help in this situation)
I know this is long and has gone all over the place but I needed to get this out because it's just part of everything swirling in my mind lately. So, sorry is it's a little hard to understand my points, if you'd like to reach out to discuss any of it with me if gladly try to be more clear on some of it I just was trying to not fully take over OP's post with my response (which I know I more than likely have by now, SORRY OP) this post just resonated with me and everything started flowing. So please just stay even if it means me typing all of this out was worth it and because you are worth it and we will work together to make it better
I hope none of you disappear in the coming days. Seriously don't do anything that can't be undone.
#truly am sorry op#and for how long and rambly it is#i just needed a place to say it and your post just happed to be the place to do so
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Felt bad because the last pac was a little short, so it's a similar one. Those paper snowflakes were small, these are big.
It's about any area in life, and probably most of it will be future things, but I hope this will give you hope and motivation.
YOUR BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS
Pile 1
Even if there's hard things, even if there's chaos and you need to start again, you will able to do it, and you will be better than ever! For some of you, it's especially true with finances, you will have a stable life. But also you will have a good relationship, maybe against all odds, maybe you didn't saw good examples, but you still have a good connection with your partner. You can definitely be succesful in something creative, I feel so much spark, inspiration, unique ideas. And you will have some deep wiseness, maybe it's connected to spirituality, but somehow you can teach people. You will also know and love yourself.
Pile 2
Your ambitions will come true, your hard work will definitely pay off. You can also be good at manifestation. I see you can be a boss, be in a high position, you basically can buy anything, you won't have financial struggles. Also, you will be the boss of your own life in every way too, you have power to change it. If you have some anxiety, nervousness, your mental health will be so much better. And you will feel free, you will move on, let go of past mistakes, past toxic people. You will love your life, you will be active, full of passion. If you want to move to another city or country, this will definitely happen. Even if you don't want to, you will travel a lot.
Pile 3
It feels you were lost, maybe you needed to fight, others didn't understand you. But it's like your life will be the complete opposite. For some of you, you will live literally the other side of the world. I think you will be lucky too, but it's more like you will have help from your spirit guides. Finally, everything will be okay. You will have a loving partner, and you will love yourself too. Your unique thinking and person will be appreciated, you will be in a like-minded community. You can finally be in peace with yourself and life, your struggles are over. You did so much inner work, and you feel good about yourself too. Others will love your company because your authentic nature and your good vibes.
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Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly
Previous - Part 13 - Next
"Swansea! Did you eat all the sweets?"
Swansea: "I don't know what you're talking about!"
He crossed his arms indignantly at your accusation, while you could see the chocolate stain on his mouth.
Anya: "It wasn't him... I was eating the sweets you brought..."
You turned to look at her and tilted your head.
"...You have been... very good, Anya"
Anya: "...Thank you, captain"
"Did you left any candy? Can you share a bit with us?"
Anya: "Oh- yes, I'm very sorry for hogging them all by myself- I just wanted to eat something sweet"
"Don't worry, I understand. Just don't steal them, okay? We're just about to go home, we need to hold on a bit longer, then we'll eat whatever we want."
Daisuke: "When we return! We'll stay in touch, right?? I don't want us to drift apart! Swansea, I want to meet your children and your wife! Oh, and I want to try the captain's food! The captain talked a lot about how much he misses her food!"
All the enthusiasm the boy had, you set aside while you slowly walked towards Anya and carefully took her hands.
"You wear looser clothes."
Anya: "Yes..."
"...You know we have to wait three months... And three more to return?"
Anya: "I know..."
"...If that's what you wanted... I'm going to help you."
Both men were attentive to the conversation the two were having, approaching curiously.
Swansea: "What is that whispering you two are doing?"
Instead of telling her, you looked Anya straight in the eyes, hoping she would confirm it herself.
Anya: "I... didn't took the pills to end my pregnancy..."
Daisuke: "What??? Why???"
"That doesn't matter. It's the decision she has made and we are going to support her, we won't leave her behind."
You interrupted him and looked at the ceiling for a moment.
"Should be born when we are already in the rescue or before it... But I didn't say anything about a pregnant crew member..."
Anya: "We can induce it, I'll be on time before they arrive anyway."
"You know the risks of that, and we don't have the equipment prepared for something like this."
Anya: "I trust you"
"Ah... You want to gave me a heart attack, don't you?" You sighed, resting your forehead on his shoulder.
Anya: "Please no" she responded with a chuckle.
Daisuke: "So, we're going to have a new member in the crew! Shall we give it a name?"
Swansea was about to hit Daisuke on the head to make him shut up, but Anya responded calmly.
Anya: "I think the best thing will be not to give it a name. I plan to hand it over for adoption when we reach Earth again."
The boy slowly raised his hand, as if asking for permission to speak.
Daisuke: "Can I at least give it the nickname Polly? I don't wanna call it thing"
Anya: "You can call it however you want."
"Seriously? Polly? Like the mascot of Pony Express?"
You looked up just to judge him for his comment.
Daisuke: "Of course! First baby born in space! On the Tulpar of Pony Express! Nicknamed the great pet that everyone knows!"
"Swansea"
Swansea: "With pleasure"
Upon saying that, the man smack the back of the head of Daisuke.
"Well, how about you take me to where you hid the candy?"
You patted the woman's shoulders, and she nodded to guide you to her room and show you where she kept them.
Anya: "Seriously, aren't you going to ask me why I decided this?"
"My curiosity is killing me. But it was your decision, and I will respect it."
You got scared when you felt her arms around you, holding you tightly from behind.
Anya: "...I was afraid of the pain, of infertility, and that in the future, when I want to have a family... I couldn't, and I must remember why... remember what he did to me... and the pain I felt..."
"...You are very strong... Much more than I was"
Anya: "Don't you think that... I'm a coward?"
"Not at all, I understand your reasons. And I'm glad this is going to bring you peace."
When she slowly let go of you, you turned to look at her and smile.
"But before you even think about starting a family, I want to see you with your doctorate degree! Understood??"
You shook her several times, making her laugh.
Anya: "Do you think I can?"
"Of course! The ninth time's the charm."
You winked at her, making her laugh, and she hugged you, hiding her face in your neck, smiling sincerely.
Anya: "I'm glad you're with us... Without you, I don't know what would become of all of us..."
"You're welcome... You are my crew... You are my responsibility."
You indicated by returning the hug.
#mouthwash#do it for them mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing x reader#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#captain curly#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#captain curly x reader#mouthwashing curly
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If you are feeling suicidal over tonight's election, here are the strategies I use when I'm feeling suicidal
First, cover the basics,
Have you eaten?
You should eat, even just a snack if you can, even if you just need the dopamine and to check out from what you're feeling, you should eat
Have you had any water or any drink?
Have you slept?
Can you lay down for just a couple minutes and close your eyes and listen to some nice music or one of those sleep bedtime stories?
Remember this feeling won't always be your reality.
I know it's scary right now and it might feel hopeless, but you dont know what the future holds till you live it.
You're not alone, there are people who align with your values who want to help you make the world better, you can find a community and people if you don't have it right now.
Can you talk to someone?
Can you distract yourself? Just take your mind off whatevers happening and fully take a break from reality. It'll be more bearable when you've had rest and time away, I promise.
If all else fails, I sometimes will just force myself to sleep using cough medicine, so if you have a safe way you can just make yourself sleep to avoid killing yourself I recommend that.
Is there anything youve always wanted to do or experience? What makes you feel joy? I like to remember that life can still be good and there are good parts of life no matter how I'm feeling in the moment. Personally I'd be pissed at myself if I let myself die before ever seeing the northern lights and milkyway.
And if all else fails, spite also works really well. Don't let your opposition take another life, we need you with us.
This feeling will pass, or it will become more bearable with time.
If you can I make a promise to myself that any big life decisions I make (like dying) need at least 24 hours, but the longer of a time you can agree to is better. You just need to give yourself time to get out of crisis mode and get a clearer head. And big decisions deserve more time to be thought about.
You don't know what the future holds, it could be really good. You deserve the chance to find out. And remember, for every person who's committing harm, there are people who oppose it and are fighting for a better future and life for everyone.
The people united will never be defeated.
Here's a post that has information on crisis hotlines and which ones involve the police and which ones don't.
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The US Election and the Future of Queer Media
To start this off, I'd like to say that if this post leaves my side of the Internet, this is primarily a religious blog. You won't see takes like this again from me, but I majored in history and have a passion for the preservation of queer culture, so here I am.
I want to start this out by giving my heartfelt condolences to everyone who will be negatively impacted by this election. I'm lucky enough to live in a part of the country where I will likely not experience the negative side of the new administration for at least a year or two. But I know for many, it will come much faster.
The current Republican party has approached queerness with fearmongering, labeling it as "pornography," and attempting to eradicate public expression of it with book and drag bans. While the past 4 years have seen this slow creep, I believe the next 4 years will be much faster, and wider-reaching. I would not be surprised if the Trump administration attempts to ban queer media and public displays of queerness on a federal level, likely under some sort of "anti-porn" law, where queerness will fall under that umbrella of "porn". And with Project 2025 very much existing, and with so many anti-queer people who have the potential to end up in very important positions, we need to get cracking on preserving the queer literature which we do have.
Now would be a good time to start getting USBs, or organizing Google Drives, and trying to get as much queer media onto them as possible. I'm not going to explicitly say that we should all just start pirating stuff at random. If we can buy books, buy art, legally watch movies, donate to organizations etc., then for the love of all that is good, do that. But with the very real threat of our existence being labeled as obscenity on a federal level, it's better safe than sorry. If a time comes where we're unable to access the resources that we need and the stories that we love on the internet, their survival offline will be crucial.
At the end of the day, we will survive. We have the rights that we do have at this moment because our predecessors fought for them. They lived through worse than this, and while it will likely get bad again, we'll survive just as they did.
Linking to two resources that I think are perfect right now, while nothing is falling apart yet:
The Internet Archive, which is a glorious free library, entirely online, with almost anything you could hope to find
The Queer Liberation Library, a Massachusetts-based nonprofit with a collection dedicated primarily to queer literature
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Your dear double anon has returned
Anyway, I hope you had a good night's sleep and breakfast, because I'm back with more thoughts on LU I had this at 4am when I couldn't sleep (that's exactly why this sounds so far-fetched and mixed, perhaps a little meaningless(?)
I've been thinking a lot about Villain Chain lately, you know, by cloudninetonine. Also in humans are hylian space orc reader but that comes later and thinking a lot about cloudninetonine basically since I reread his/her mess au.
This is all set in mess au, in fact.
So far I have only found three writings that involve them and I have not found any more, which is a shame, because I'm interested in the concept of when a hero is a villain and a villain is a hero, I've always been a fan of role reversals in any context.
And one of the writings I read was about how they became like this when their guide/Reader/player died and they made a huge statue for them as a tomb and they see the guide/Reader/player from the original chain and kidnap them to maintain it and so on (this no has minimal relevance, I just woke up very talkative, although I'm sure I sent you messages yesterday)
Yeah, wrong, but I've kept them in mind because, remember the yandere version of cloudninetonine's chain? Where they're older and guide/reader/player isn't really their guide/reader/player but they think it is? Well, here I came up with an interesting continuation.
guide/reader/player is not really the guide from the original chain either.
Whether it's Dark Link or Villain Chain, they corner the reader and are like 'aha! You have no escape, little guide' and with a blank expression guide simply (when the adrenaline and fear have passed), grabs the blade of the sword that is pointing at their neck and bends it.
Here is the first clue that something is wrong, if it is Dark Link, whether by this action or not, he realizes that there is something wrong with the guide, it is not as he remembers it. If it is Villain Chain, there is bewilderment because the guide who described that shadow that plans to betray them did not resemble the guide they had before them who was not affected by magic, potions or weapons.
is not the guide that Dark Link remembers or that he described to Villain Chain because it turns out that is not the guide either, Reader is a guide but not of that specific chain.
Either because Hylia was confused or she searched for a stronger guide/Reader to stop Dark Link she simply looked for a Reader/Guide who she felt had even a modicum of power over the Hylians and found Guide/Reader from Human are Hylians Space Orc.
But that's where my train of thought ends.
Looking back after getting a proper night's sleep and reading this out loud, I feel like this was so far-fetched but my tired, sleep-deprived brain couldn't figure it out in time.I'm not particularly satisfied with these ideas, but perhaps I'll salvage something for the future.
Or maybe I'm thinking of ideas for a Villain Guide/Reader/player getting to know everyone, seeing as how no one has really done anything like this and some players can be evil in video games.
—double anon (since you already know my problem with Tumblr and the fact that I have to send at least two messages for one to arrive, I wasn't sure if I should give myself a name because my attention span It's null and void and I bounce from fandom to fandom every week. and I disappear the moment I decide to give myself a anon name, but I've been paying attention to Linked Universe for over a month, and I think that's reason enough to know that I won't disappear anytime soon, although I have your Tumblr profile saved in my Google bookmarks anyway so I'll still come visit even if it disappears)
This is a doozy. (Quite the long one, tad overwhelming. 😅) I’m not that familiar with villain chain? Let’s see what I can do with what I can figure out.
One thing I realized is that When Reader sees how the Villain Chain practically worships them, they’re baffled.
To this Reader, adventure games are meant to be just that, games.
The idea that she’d be revered as an actual deity is unsettling, and she’s torn between keeping up the act to protect herself or leveling with them. If she lets on that she isn’t their Guide, the Chain only becomes more obsessed, deciding she needs saving from whatever memories she’s ‘lost.’
And if she realized the Chain has suffered from the loss of THEIR Guide, Reader tries to gently reason with them, perhaps offering compassion?
Big mistake sadly. The moment they show even a hint of softness, the Chain decides Reader has truly “returned” to them. They double down on their devotion, misinterpreting kindness as affection, and it fuels their possessiveness.
To jog ‘memories,’ the Villain Chain might recreate locations or scenes from the past with the old Guide.
They could go to absurd lengths ya know, clearing whole areas, painting fake backdrops, even dressing up in the same worn, ragged clothes they had when they met the Guide. Reader plays along, but she’s constantly trying to figure out an escape plan, as she now knows nothing she says or does will convince them she’s not their Guide.
The Chain takes turns watching Reader, monitoring her behavior for signs that she’s “returning” to them. This means Reader can hardly go anywhere without someone at her side or in the shadows. Even a sigh or a glance could be analyzed endlessly.
Twilight would try to remind Reader of the old days by isolating her in forests or mountainous regions, telling tales of their past escapades.
He thinks being in these familiar places will awaken her ‘true self.’ But when this doesn’t work, he only becomes more frustrated, insisting that Reader must remember and that her real memories are just buried.
Hyrule would repeatedly try to heal Reader, convinced they’re suffering from some curse.
Every time Reader resists or tells him to stop, he assumes it’s the curse talking and only becomes more insistent, going as far as sneaking healing spells while she’s asleep or distracted.
#i’m not familiar enough to come up with better ideas#yandere linked universe#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu#lu wind#lu sky#lu time#lu legend#lu warriors#lu wild#lu four#lu hyrule#lu twilight#linked universe x reader#yandere linked universe x oc#gliphy answers anon#Double anon!
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My therapist just sent me this article, and I think it should be required reading for everyone who's feeling scared this morning. Tumblr won't let me put the whole article under a readmore, so I've included a shorter, edited version below. I highly encourage everyone read the full article, especially as I couldn't include everything here that I wanted to.
Please be aware that I will not be interacting with comments and/or reblogs, unless it is to help with directing to resources mentioned in the article. I am grieving too, like many of us, and I don't have the spoons to facilitate anything more. Read, share, and get organized.
The below are selections the article "There is hope - 10 ways to be prepared and grounded for another Trump presidency" by Daniel Hunter from Waging Nonviolence.
1. Trust yourself I started writing this list with strategic principles (e.g. analyze your opponents weakness and learn to handle political violence), but actually the place to start is with your own self. Distrust fuels the flame of autocracy because it makes it much easier to divide. We can see that in the casual nature of Trump’s rhetoric — telling people to distrust immigrants, Democrats, socialists, people from Chicago, women marchers, Mexicans, the press and so on. This is a social disease: You know who to trust by who they tell you to distrust. Trust-building starts with your own self. It includes trusting your own eyes and gut, as well as building protection from the ways the crazy-making can become internalized. This also means being trustworthy — not just with information, but with emotions. That way you can acknowledge what you know and admit the parts that are uncertain fears nagging at you. Then take steps to follow through on what you need. If you’re tired, take some rest. If you’re scared, make some peace with your fears. I can point you to resources that support that — like FindingSteadyGround.com — but the value here is to start with trusting your own inner voice. If you need to stop checking your phone compulsively, do it. If you don’t want to read this article now and instead take a good walk, do it.
2. Find others who you trust Hannah Arendt’s “The Origins of Totalitarianism” explored how destructive ideologies like fascism and autocracy grow. She used the word verlassenheit — often translated as loneliness — as a central ingredient. As she meant it, loneliness isn’t a feeling but a kind of social isolation of the mind. Your thinking becomes closed off to the world and a sense of being abandoned to each other. She’s identifying a societal breakdown that we’re all experiencing. Under a Trump presidency, this trend will continue to accelerate. The constant attacks on social systems — teachers, health care and infrastructure — make us turn away from leaning on each other and towards ideologically simple answers that increase isolation (e.g. “distrust government,” “MAGA is nuts,” “anyone who votes that way doesn’t care about you”). If Trump wins: Get some people to regularly touch base with. Use that trust to explore your own thinking and support each other to stay sharp and grounded. I’ve written an agenda for such gatherings right after a Trump win that you can use.
3. Grieve No matter what we try to do, there’s going to be a lot of loss. The human thing to do is grieve. If you aren’t a feelings person, let me say it this way: The inability to grieve is a strategic error. After Donald Trump won in 2016, we all saw colleagues who never grieved. They didn’t look into their feelings and the future — and as a result they remained in shock. An alternative: Start by naming and allowing feelings that come to arise. The night that Donald Trump won, I stayed up until 4 a.m. with a colleague. It was a tear-filled night of naming things that we had just lost. It wasn’t anywhere near strategizing or list-making or planning. It was part of our acceptance that losing a presidency to an awful man means you and your people lose a lot. Ultimately, this helped us believe it — so we didn’t spend years in a daze: “I can’t believe this is happening in this country.” Believe it. Believe it now. Grief is a pathway to that acceptance.
4. Release that which you cannot change Under a Trump presidency, there are going to be so many issues that it will be hard to accept that we cannot do it all. I’m reminded of a colleague in Turkey who told me, “There’s always something bad happening every day. If we had to react to every bad thing, we’d never have time to eat.” Chaos is a friend of the autocrat. One way we can unwittingly assist is by joining in the story that we have to do it all. Unaddressed, this desire to act on everything leads to bad strategy. Nine months ago when we gathered activists to scenario plan together, we took note of two knee-jerk tendencies from the left that ended up largely being dead-ends in the face of Trump: - Public angsting — posting outrage on social media, talking with friends, sharing awful news - Symbolic actions — organizing marches and public statements The first is where we look around at bad things happening and make sure other people know about them, too. We satisfy the social pressure of our friends who want us to show outrage — but the driving moves are only reactive. The end result wasn’t the intended action or an informed population. It’s demoralizing us. It’s hurting our capacity for action. Public angsting as a strategy is akin to pleading with the hole in the boat to stop us from sinking. Symbolic actions may fare little better under a Trump presidency. In whatever version of democracy we had, the logic of rallies and statements of outrage was to build a unified front that showed the opposition many voices were opposed to them. But under an unleashed fascist — if it’s all you do — it’s like begging the suicidal captain to plug the hole. Let me be clear. These strategies will be part of the mix. We’ll need public angsting and symbolic actions. But if you see an organization or group who only relies on these tactics, look elsewhere. There are other, more effective ways to engage.
5. Find your path I’ve been writing scenarios of how a Trump presidency might play out. The initial weeks look chaotic no matter what. But over time some differentiated resistance pathways begin to emerge. One pathway is called “Protecting People.” This might mean organizing outside current systems for health care and mutual aid, or moving resources to communities that are getting targeted. Further examples include starting immigrant welcoming committees, abortion-support funds or training volunteers on safety skills to respond to white nationalist violence. Another pathway is “Defending Civic Institutions.” This group may or may not be conscious that current institutions don’t serve us all, but they are united in understanding that Trump wants them to crumble so he can exert greater control over our lives. Each bureaucracy will put up its own fight to defend itself. Insider groups will play a central battle against Trump fascism. You may recall government scientists dumping copious climate data onto external servers, bracing for Trump’s orders. This time, many more insiders understand it’s code red. Hopefully, many will bravely refuse to quit — and instead choose to stay inside as long as possible. Institutional pillars understand a Trump presidency is a dire threat. Then there’s a critical third pathway: “Disrupt and Disobey.” This goes beyond protesting for better policies and into the territory of people intervening to stop bad policies or showing resistance. Lastly, there’s a key fourth role: “Building Alternatives.” We can’t just be stuck reacting and stopping the bad. We have to have a vision. This is the slow growth work of building alternative ways that are more democratic. Each of us may be attracted to some pathway more than others. Your path may not be clear right now. That’s okay. There will be plenty of opportunities to join the resistance.
6. Do not obey in advance, do not self-censor If autocrats teach us any valuable lesson it’s this: Political space that you don’t use, you lose. I’m not coaching to never self-protect. You can decide when to speak your mind. But it is a phenomenally slippery slope here we have to observe and combat. Put simply: Use the political space and voice you have.
7. Reorient your political map A Trump presidency reshapes alignments and possibilities. The bellicose, blasphemous language of Trump will meet the practical reality of governing. When you’re out of power, it’s easy to unify — but their coalition’s cracks will quickly emerge. We have to stay sharp for opportunities to cleave off support. Even if you don’t want to engage with them (which is fine), we’ll all have to give space to those who do experiment with new language to appeal to others who don’t share our worldview of a multiracial true democracy.
8. Get real about power In Trump’s first term, the left’s organizing had mixed results. It was elections that ultimately stopped Trump. This time will be much harder. The psychological exhaustion and despair is much higher. Deploying people into the streets for mass actions with no clear outcome will grow that frustration, leading to dropout and radicalized action divorced from strategy. Trump has been very clear about using his political power to its fullest — stretching and breaking the norms and laws that get in his way. The movement will constantly be asking itself: “Are you able to stop this new bad thing?” We're not going to convince him not to do these things. No pressure on Republicans will result in more than the tiniest of crumbs (at least initially). It will be helpful to have a power analysis in our minds, specifically that’s known as the upside-down triangle. This tool was built to explain how power moves even under dictatorships. In our country, pressuring elite power is reaching its end point. Power will need to emerge from folks no longer obeying the current unjust system. This tipping point of mass noncooperation will be messy. It means convincing a lot of people to take huge personal risks for a better option. As a “Disrupt and Disobey” person, we have to move deliberately to gain the trust of others, like the “Protecting People” folks. Mass noncooperation does the opposite of their goal of protection — it exposes people to more risk, more repression. But with that comes the possibility that we could get the kind of liberatory government that we all truly deserve.
9. Handle fear, make violence rebound Otpor in Serbia has provided an abundance of examples on how to face repression. They were young people who took a sarcastic response to regular police beatings. They would joke amongst each other, “It doesn’t hurt if you’re afraid.” Their attitude wasn’t cavalier — it was tactical. They were not going to grow fear. So when hundreds were beaten on a single day, their response was: This repression will only stiffen the resistance. Handling fear isn’t about suppressing it — but it is about constantly redirecting. Activist/intellectual Hardy Herriman released a studied response about political violence that had some news that surprised me. The first was that physical political violence hasn’t grown dramatically in this country — it still remains relatively rare. The threats of violence, however, trend upwards, such as this CNN report: “Politically motivated threats to public officials increased 178 percent during Trump’s presidency,” primarily from the right. His conclusion wasn’t that political violence isn’t going to grow. Quite the opposite. But he noted that a key component to political violence is to intimidate and tell a story that they are the true victims. Making political violence rebound requires refusing to be intimidated and resisting those threats so they can backfire. (Training on this backfire technique is available from the HOPE-PV guide.) We can shrink into a cacophony of “that’s not fair,” which fuels the fear of repression. Or we take a page from the great strategist Bayard Rustin. Black civil rights leaders were targeted by the government of Montgomery, Alabama during the bus boycott in the 1950s. Leaders like the newly appointed Martin Luther King Jr. went into hiding after police threats of arrest based on antiquated anti-boycott laws. Movement organizer Rustin organized them to go down to the station and demand to be arrested since they were leaders — making a positive spectacle of the repression. Some leaders not on police lists publicly demanded they, too, get arrested. Folks charged were met with cheers from crowds, holding their arrest papers high in the air. Fear was turned into valor.
10. Envision a positive future We’ve all now imagined storylines about how bad it might get. We would do ourselves a service to spend an equal measure of time envisioning how we might advance our cause in these conditions. As writer Walidah Imarisha says, “The goal of visionary fiction is to change the world.” In my mind if Trump wins, we’ll have to eventually get him out. There are two paths available to force him out. The first: Vote him out. Given the bias of the electoral college, this requires successfully defending nearly all local, state and national takeovers of elections such that they remain relatively fair and free. Winning via the path of electoral majority has a wide swath of experience and support from mainstream progressive organizations and Democratic institutions. It’s going to be a major thrust. In my scenario writing I’ve explored what that strategy could look like, including preparing electoral workers to stand against last minute attempts by Trump to change election rules and even stymie the election with dubious emergency orders. They don’t obey — and go ahead with elections anyway. The second strategy is if he illegally refuses to leave or allow fair elections: Kick him out. That means we are able to develop a national nonviolent resistance campaign capable of forcing him out of office. I’ve written several versions of this: One where large-scale strikes disable portions of the U.S. economy. If you recall from COVID, our systems are extremely vulnerable. Businesses running “just in time” inventory means small hiccups in the system can cause cascading effects. Sustained strikes would face deep resistance, but they could swing communities currently on the fence, like the business community, which already is concerned about Trump’s temperamental nature. Trump’s own policies might make these conditions much easier. If he really does mass deportations, the economic injury might be fatal. In another scenario I explore another strategy of taking advantage of a Trump overreach. Autocrats overplay their hands. And in this imagined scenario, Trump overreaches when he attempts to force autoworkers to stop building electric vehicles. UAW workers refuse and keep the factories running. Eventually he’s unable to stop them — but in the process he’s publicly humiliated. A very public loss like this can cause what Timur Kuran calls an “unanticipated revolution.” He noted many incidents where political leaders seem to have full support, then suddenly it evaporates. Kuran’s analysis reminds us to look at Trump’s political weakness. Political hacks like Lindsay Graham appear to be sycophants — but if given the chance to turn their knife in his back, they might. This means exposed political weaknesses could quickly turn the many inside Trump’s campaign against him. That feels far away from now. But all these remain possibilities. Practicing this future thinking and seeing into these directions gives me some hope and some strategic sensibilities. On the days when I can’t sense any of these political possibilities (more than not), I zoom out further to the lifespans of trees and rocks, heading into spiritual reminders that nothing lasts forever. All of the future is uncertain. But using these things, we’re more likely to have a more hopeful future and experience during these turbulent times.
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TW: Death and Suicide @rosencatholic Number one: I'M AMERICAN. Number two: Shit did happen!
Wake up, Princess and smell the coffee!
There have been countless women who have died since the overturning of Roe v. Wade because they can't get treatment for legit reasons other than traditional abortion that can't get a Dilation and Curettage (D&C) due to pregnancy complications and their doctors being afraid of persecution. There have been countless women who died because they had to go outside of their home state due to the over turn of Roe v Wade. Babies and death are NOT punishments! Babies are blessings so before you spew that bullshit. There have been countless deaths and suicides because of harassment, homophobia and transphobia thanks to that man. A trans man I followed back in 2022 on tiktok committed suicide because of all of the transphobia he was experiencing. His family didn't even respect his pronouns or his chosen name. There have been countless deaths of black people due to rampant police intimidation and bullying which got *worse* under your emperor with no clothes. Like oh... I don't know: George Floyd and Breonna Taylor plus countless other people of color! May they rest in Power! These are just *some* of the things that happened that I can think of off the top of my head. Sources: Mama Doctor Jones is not only a influencer. She is a board certified OBGYN originally from Texas and a mother of four:
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Milo: Along with showing you Milo (He's on the right hand side) you'll see a cause he was working towards and it got rejected:
A memorial video for Milo because he took his own life:
All the black people who have died from police violence as of 2020:
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A brief history of black deaths due to police imputiny:
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13th about the 13th amendment and how it effects black folks, black men more disproportionately than white folks
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So these are just *some* of the people that were effected by your emperor with no clothes. This is not *all* of them. I wouldn't be able to get all of the names and groups of people he has harmed. There is blood on 72,560,841 peoples hands for the lives we're going to lose in the next 4 years. I am LGBTQIA+, I was assigned female at birth. I am a part of the 67,878,826 who voted for Harris. I am a champion for the poor, marginalized, sick, and those who can not speak or fight for themselves. I fight for my child and his future in this world. That they may grow up in one that is loving and compassionate and won't hurt them or spurn them for their loving heart. I didn't even mention the effects that all of this will have on the poor! And I'm part of that demographic! We'll lose crucial health care protections because he wants to recall Obamacare. We'll get less aid to be able to feed our children. Children who are just like yours or the ones that aren't yours that you hold dear. I don't wanna hear your bullshit about "well you shouldn't have had them if..." Put a cork in it. You lost the right to say that when you supported and cheered the overturning of Roe v Wade. Then the children! I didn't mention the children. Children are going to be effected because you know he's not going to do anything with gun control. I support the second amendment, but *not* when it could get my child killed! You care more about the child I could carry in my womb than the one that sits in a classroom every day! How can you call yourself "pro-life" when you won't protect the lives of people that are already around you? But you'll protect a patch of cells that has a small chance of becoming a child. Did you know that 10 to 20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage? Did you know that number is likely higher due to unknown pregnancies? Not all sacks of cells become babies. According to the NIH a babies brain doesn't start working until the end of the second trimester? (Source: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK234146/) If my father can be called "brain dead" (He died from a motorcycle accident where he was severely shaken and developed what is called Diffuse Axonal Injury and was declared brain dead by the hospital before we pulled the plug) and that's why he's no longer a living person, than a baby is not a living person before their brain starts to work. The body and heart aren't a person, their brain is. But that patch of cells is more important that my living, breathing, learning and loving kid? The one who loves to draw and paint? The one who loves to build things out of cardboard. That loves Five Nights at Freddy's and Gravity falls and Owl House? The one that cuddles me still, even as big as they are? The one that still insists he sleeps with me at night even though they should stay in their own bed? My child who could get killed by a school shooter because "You'll have my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers." OH! And I'm also a single mother and left an ABUSIVE relationship that your emperor in no clothes wants to shove me back into. No way. I will not go back. I will not take my child back to a bad environment because of your so called want for a traditional family system. All that does is perpetuate abuse. I have lived experience. MY life and the life of MY child are lives that are going to be affected and all you care about is the price of milk and bread. How do you sleep at night? Before you answer, that's rhetorical. Watch and educate yourself *before* you reply to this. If you don't watch, and watch *completely* I will not reply. You're not worth my time. Sit with yourself and your vote for a better price at the gas pump that was more important than peoples lives. For "less immigrants" that are *people* just like you. That have families and loved ones just like you. Sit with the fact that you condemned people for your own convenience.
Don’t understand the dramatics. People, we already had Trump for four years and nothing happened to you. You’re fine, it’s not the end of the world. Stop scrolling through social media and turn off liberal media channels. Go get some fresh air.
#US Politics#election 2024#Trump#trump 2024#women's rights#trans rights#LGBTQIA Rights#Civil Rights#POC#TW: Death#TW: Suicide#tw: police brutality#TW: Transphobia#tw: homophobia#Youtube
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#batjokes#Yay it's done :D Now I can stop thinking about it#the art style was an experiment with the old one#so you won't likely see anything like this in the future#I'm forever sticking with his (faux) innocent face and arkhamverse face : >#this is a fanfic that I've been thinking/plotting for a long time#but I didn't dare to write it bc I didn't have enough skills. An example of my body suffering from a lack of brain /j#fan comic
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What does kin mean?
The meaning can tend to vary depending on who you ask, but it generally means (TLDR:) identifying with a character in some way. Although it originated from the term "otherkin", which means identifying with an animal/another species, the way it's typically used in this context refers to "fictionkin".
Many people use it to describe simply relating strongly to a character and don't really see themselves as the character in any way, but it was originally used to describe identifying as the character in a spiritual/psychological way. To clarify, it doesn't mean that you think you literally are that character right now, in a physical way etc. It's more of an identity thing. (I could go more in-depth on what that means, but I'm going to assume that's more information than you're looking for.)
It's kind of a Tumblr/internet culture thing, but I'm not very involved in the community or anything because it's more of a personal thing for me specifically, so. I really don't feel like the best person to ask if you have any more questions. I apologize if that's too much information for such a simple question; I guess it's a bit complicated to explain.
#ask#anon#anonymous#i feel embarrassed dumping all this information here out of the blue like i know more than i should.#especially with this being the kind of thing a large number of people find weird or 'cringe'. but whatever.#like i said it's more of a personal thing to me so i don't ever post about it and probably won't in the future unless asked about it.#which i am not opposed to because AS YOU CAN SEE I really like going on and on about things.#it's taking all my restraint not to type up every single piece of irrelevant information i have on this topic right now.#please please please don't send me mean asks or anything related to discourse or whatever after this. I'm just a little guy.
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Are you aware that I'm-a-gay-fish and Zu ship dr//m/are ?/genq
okay so it took me a while to answer this but i finally found the words to so here goes; yeah i do know, and i totally understand if you don't ship it, neither do i, but there's nothing i can do about it?
they're allowed, so long as they don't harm people, to do whatever they want on their own platforms. and before you ask me if i support *ncest, would you actually ask someone if they support toxic relationships and murder whenever they ship two unhealthy killers with mental problems? because that's funnily enough what most people do around here! you can say it's not the same, and that they're romanticizing it, but i can personally detach myself from fiction enough to realize that while this concept depicted in their art shouldn't be recreated in real life, that doesn't mean they actually engage or support people that do that irl- they asked zu the same question so many times, and frog doesn't either and i've known gayfish for three years! you're well within your right to stop associating with them or distance yourself from their content but i myself won't.
i know fiction affects reality to a degree, don't twist my words please, but if you're too young to consume that kind of content with a nuanced perspective or is triggered/affected by it then as long as they tag their content properly then you can unfollow, block and move on. i have a habit of following and reblogging people's works before looking at their bios and before i know it find myself having to choose between two sides i don't belong to and i frankly don't want to! anti this or proship that- in this online era you have to adapt by keeping your cool and curating your own online experience and viewing people in black and whites is stressful, painful and dangerous for everyone involved. i don't even reblog the content you probably have a problem with, and i'm honestly still scared of the response i'll get-
i will not blame or hate whoever unfollows or blocks me for this, it's to be expected, but please don't think about it like some bad vs good guys dilemma? sometimes thought provoking morally grey ambiguous stories with messed up characters spark more positive discussion and healing than people looking into it because they suffer from the same delusions and want a justification-
like realistically, in my blog, most ppl here are basically shipping two literal skeletons with magic in their bones who are sometimes almost the exact copy of one another, and who theoretically have a very similar dna, and sometimes they make shipkids, which, if you know anything about *ncest, is one of the main reasons why you shouldn't bang your siblings - mostly from a moral standpoint because that's so gross i can't even think of it, but also because any offspring would suffer greatly from physical and mental diseases hidden in their genetic code- like. you could argue it's not the same but it's sancest for a reason. and even when they're widely different sanses, you wouldn't think fell x sans is wrong (at least in this specific community) but really we've all just gotten numb to how weird that sounds. trust me, there's a reason we don't talk about our ships to outsiders HHH
TL,DR: so while i greatly encourage you to block people and content you don't want to see/associate with, including me! i hope i made it clear why i, personally, don't care about dreammare and whoever ships it.
#thank you to anyone who made it this far and gave me a chance to voice my opinion :')#sorry this is long but i want to make it as precise and close as many holes as i can with my arguments before i receive an ask about it#it's fine if you do btw i wanna clear any doubts and i know for a fact a loot of you will either leave or be conflicted and trust me i know#it's the whole reason why i was avoiding this conversation! i kept on hoping everyone was on the same page but we're not and that's okay#truthfully i can only hope that the people who'll leave this blog after this take the opportunity to question the fics and media they like#-in the future. don't force yourself to enjoy something you don't but nothing is as cut to the point as 'this is gross stop talking'#for the record you won't see me reblog any dreammare or anything about it because i don't even like them like that so why would i HHH#also i'm sorry but zu is quite frankly the sweetest person i've ever met and frog has been supporting ME for as long as i can remember!!#they're such a big part of this blog and the reason for it's existence so i'll choose them and my principles over faking a view i don't hav#have an amazing day everyone and thanks again for passing by muah muah :'D <333
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Flipping through pages that he doesn't understand, going through a lecture that went through the other ear.
It was always the same.
Everyday was the same.
A day he never understands, go through a language that the rookie barely understood. It was a tedious process of his life.
Poli wishes he could just stay in bed.
Meet me after break. You know why.
He sighs, swirling the coffee around in his cup. Barely taking a sip of it. Even the caffeine in it doesn't give him the energy boost anymore. Although it felt like an obligation to drink it. Fit in with his peers. Make it seem like he's active. That was the act he put on, the actor doing his best for the crumbling show.
Heyyy, Poli!
What's up?
Poli's eyes lit up. Ah, it was one of his peers! Maybe he could exchange for some conversation. Jin was probably still at the academy.. They would have to see each other.
H--Hi.. Friends! Poli says in poor English. The two students look at each other, snickering. But they still kept composed so the officer didn't pick anything off it.
H..How--
Are we, Poli. One car says in a condensing tone. Irritation as the star spoke with slow words. Mentioning it would just upset him. He almost rolls his eyes. We're fine! You? Andras.. hehe.. Gave you a hard time, didn't he?
Huh? Oh, uhm--
Don't worrryyyy, The other students dressed in pink hang an arm around Poli. The forget-me-not looked at them puzzeled with a slight head tilt. I get it! He's hard. You know how he is.
Only for a dumbass like you, though.
Totally.. He won't even pick up on what we're saying. Fuckin' guy wouldn't even notice us swearing him out!
Uhm.. S--Sorry?
The two straightened themselves up. Refraining from laughing at the trying actor. Ivy placed a hand on his hip, amused with the lies he could easily conquer up without a worry for Poli understanding.
We're just saying how sorry, we are, Poliiiiii.
We're friends after all! You like friends, do you?
O--Of course!
The poor flower, unable to understand the language of the others that had already blossomed into a promised future.
@daily-jin-madebygenius
Worriness is a trait that could cause doom to some.
The rookie always worried. About everything. About everyone. But he seemed to cast a blind eye when it came to himself. He was a functioning adult of society, Poli did have the image that he could take care of himself just fine.
The inner child that dreamed upon the stars disagreed, however. He didn't like it whenever the adult on the outside left trash bags rot inside the complex. He hated when food was not an important fuel to the officer.
The child cried when the thoughts of reaching the galaxy came around.
Poli rests his head against his desk, filled with paperwork to the brim. It had about been a week or so since the teenager found a place in his home.
Some time from the incident, too.
The academy forced Jin back into the system, up and working. Poli despised it. A young girl, so brutally brought to look at the injury a wilted rose caused, an injury that engraved itself into her.
Painful reminder, is what they say.
Now that the girl lived here, obvious changes twisted his home around. Trash to machinery that still needed to be worked on in his room, bags that found themselves in the corner.
Jin still hasn't warmed up to the star, so she sustained to making her own little corner in the apartment. He didn't mind. Poli did state several times that the inventor didn't feel the need to speak to him, just to paint him as a ghost he views himself as on the canvas.
The girl still made some attempts, and he certainly did find these attempts grateful. It was hard. Hard for her to cope. Poli was angry when the academy discarded her injury, only batting an eye to her studies.
Threatening her with failing grades if she wanted to rest. His academy was familiar, but for a reason that he, himself found unknown too;
He cared for her more than himself.
Poli sighs. He had been dreaming again while dozing off from the big binder of English he had been teaching himself with. He couldn't focus–
His focus regrains when he notices books that weren't his onto the bed. Weren't those–
Jin's books! She forgot to take them with her!
He jolts out from his chair, clumsily stumbling onto his knees. The rookie groans, picking himself up and practically crawling to the pile of unforgotten books.
Jin just left. He still has time.
Shoving the books into a navy blue shoulder bag, he faces the door.
And save her from a failing grade. Poli heads out, a duty to start his day off.
@daily-jin-madebygenius
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Being self aware is literally hell I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
#diary#god I could rant about about this forever#tw mentions of assault in the tags dont read if that makes u uncomfortable#im kinda getting tired of people asking why i dont date 🤩 it sends me into a mental spiral hahahaaaaa#i just tell people im not looking for anything serious rn but its a big fat fucking lie because i DO want to date#but i think my nervous system is so shot from living with my dad still and he can be so emotionally abusive it's insane#it makes me not trust my judgement because shitty behavior is so normalized and i KNOW whats Right and Wrong but im so used to keeping the–#–peace because its a survival tactic for me and always has been#like when people like me i think one of two things usually:#1) they're genuinely interested in me and i hate myself so much i cant understand why anyone would like me#or 2) theyre interested in me for my body which is both easier to understand and terrifying because people in the past have hurt me because–#–they wanted to be with me. read between the lines for that one#because of how i grew up and what I've experienced i genuinely do not trust people. i trust no one fully and it kills me#i feel so fucking guilty all the time bc most people arent out to get you but that wasn't the case for me#i feel like i cant grow as a person because im stuck in a survival mindset. i KNOW why I people please and i hate it#i genuinely do love people and i want the best for them but its also ingrained into my head that if something is wrong it's My Fault#and there will be Consequences#back to dating though#there are so many reasons I do and dont want to date#i call myself a Helpless Romantic because there's no way I'll be dating in the near future. i cant just go on dates I have to know you for–#–a while and build trust. but what if it ends badly and im the idiot who cant take a goddamn hint and realise love isnt meant for someone–#–like me?#i grew up knowing my parents hated each other and “stayed together for the kids” whatever thet means. like that fucks with your mind#seeing my mom being mistreated by my dad made me snap out of the disney movie princess x prince charming daze everyone else was in as a kid#i realised very early on that relationships won't save you and can actually be the worst thing to ever happen to someone#theres more to this but ive already said enough lol. anyway
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nothing irks me more than seeing a tiktok or a tweet or whatever that says something like '___ is problematic, just use this as your reminder that everyone has flaws and no one is absolutely perfect, so idolization is dangerous.' and someone comments, 'not ___ though, stay safe!!'
no.
no your guy too.
everyone.
everyone !! everyone sucks sometimes, some suck worse than others, some suck enough that they get thrown out of their school/job/relationship, whatever it is, but everybody sucks sometimes. reading a post that warns about the dangers of idolization and then commenting 'yeah except for the guy I idolize..." is missing the point ENTIRELY. just because they haven't done anything bad yet (that you know of!!!!!!) doesn't mean that they're incapable of doing anything bad in their entire life, and if (most likely when) they do, you're gonna have a lot to come to terms with if you've constructed them as some sinless god in your mind
#i see it a lot with kpop idols#where someone will say like 'oh not my group though!!'#yeah your group#they are also at risk#again just bc you don't know of anything they've done /so far/ doesn't mean they can't/won't in the future
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8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
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Ok
#kinda vent post cause ive been anxious ever since we got coffee this evening#I promise I'm not trying to be weird or anything. I'm just#I just really don't want to screw this up. I know we spent almost the last year avoiding each other#And I know things between us were rocky for a bit before that#and I hope I'm not overwhelming you. I know things won't be better overnight#I know we've distanced so much and theres so much awkward history there. I know things are different now#And I respect that. I respect your relationship and your new life. I'm not trying to impose or make you uncomfortable#I'm just anxious and tbh scared an nervous too. I don't want to fuck this up. If theres a chance for us to be close friends again I want it#Im so so so scared of fucking it up. I feel like I forgot how to be friends & after the way I left things Im scared that I lost my chance#I'm scared that it's not gonna work and that a permanent goodbye is in our future. I'm scared that you won't want me around after all#I would understand if that became the case.. but I really don't want that#I cant text you this without seeming like an overbearing clingy anxious mess of an ex but ive been on the verge of a panic attack all night#just for the fear that I'm fucking up already somehow. Just the fear that this isn't going to work and I shouldn't even try#I think I spent so long avoiding you that now I don't know what to do with myself. But I'm trying to be normal#I promise I dont have any motives other than missing a really great friendship and being tired of missing friends#And maybe I still have a ways to go in the emotional healing department but I think I'm ok enough to try. I've been ok for a while now#If you see this please know that I mean every word. If you never see it thats ok because I just need to get it off my chest before I burst#I don't want to scare you off or lose you again. if thats what it comes to then know I'll always miss and appreciate you for all my days#Thats all. Ive been a ball of nerves all evening & I just needed to air this out cause having this weight sitting on my chest is too much#emma rambles#personal#vent post
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