#so you won’t get a notification about being mentioned when i list your blog on my pinned

[quietlyblooms]

btw!! i’m just linking my mains’ blogs/pinned posts from now on bc tumblr only allows so many @‘s per post, and i have a thing about the uniformity uvu mains are also now “ gardeners ” on my pinned!

[jasntodds]

Broken Heart Of Gold [J.T.]

Pairing: Jason Todd x GN!Reader

Request: yes, here

Summary: After Jason messes up on a mission, he goes to you

Warnings: Swearing, hurt/comfort, mentions of injuries, self-deprecating thoughts (jason), mentions of previous homelessness, mentions of death

Words: 2,514

A/n: I was listening to You Are Enough by Citizen Soldier and Broken Heart Of Gold by One OK Rock so here we are lol I also have another fic similar to this here because I will write this concept a million times if no one stops me. If you wanna be tagged in my fics, you can click the link below, send me an ask/comment, or follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

masterlist | request info | tag list

He’s been doing this for years. He was just thirteen when he first put on the Robin suit. And it was magical.

Being Robin always made Jason feel like he was magic. He was invincible and strong and worthy and enough and important. He had a purpose. For so much of his life, he was the one taking care of his mom and then she died. She died and it left him cold and alone and on the streets. But Robin brought him importance and safety and warmth. Being Robin meant he lived in a home where he was cared for and never asked to care for them. Not that he ever minded caring for his mom because he never did. But it was nice not having to take care of himself, even if he always did anyway. Being Robin gave him freedom and he got to kick ass. He got to go out there and he got to help Batman bring down some of the worst of the worst. He was enough and important. And worthy. But he wasn’t invincible. Because the Joker killed him.

He died and that was that. Robin wasn’t magic or invincible. Robin was just some kid in a mask and cape. But, then a betrayal to death and fate happened and Jason’s alive again. He came back and became Red Hood because the Joker was alive and well, Bruce had a new Robin, and the world left Jason behind.

He came back and it’s as if he wasn’t even wanted. He became Red Hood for people like him. The ones left behind. The ones Bruce won’t help in the way he should. Jason became Red Hood, knowing this life only leads to pain and death, to do what Bruce is too cowardly to do. He became Red Hood to be the voice for all the victims like him. That could have been saved if the hard choices were just made but weren’t. He is their voice and their protector. So, he’s been doing this for years. And the missions that go south, still never get any easier.

There’s a loud thud coming from your window, snapping you from your shallow sleep on the couch. You sit up quickly, your head slightly spinning with the sudden movement and you look over to your window, seeing the reflective red helmet shining back at you in the low light of the city and your apartment.

Jason takes the helmet, a mild quiver to his fingertips. “Sorry.” Jason mutters. “Did I wake you?”

You shake your head, moving to your knees so you can get a better look at him. “No, I was just lying down.” You lie, knowing he hates waking you up and you hadn’t been asleep more than twenty minutes anyway.

“That’s good.” Jason clears his throat but he hasn’t made any attempt to get up off the floor or make direct eye contact with you.

It’s all feeling heavy. His head, his eyes, his limps. Everything around him feels like it’s starting to close in. The adrenaline is crashing and everything feels like it’s about to suck the last breath from his lungs. It all hurts and aches and he usually handles it well, the injuries just come with the territory. He’s used to the pain but then nights like tonight happen and everything hurts. Every passed injury is echoing in pain, coming back for vengeance. The autopsy scars burn even though they shouldn’t, his face feels numb even though those injuries have been long healed from the pit. Every haunted injury comes back with a shattering echo.

“Jay?” You ask softly, trying to get him to look at you.

Usually, when Jason comes back from patrol, he's injured in some capacity. But, most of the time, he has this grin anyway that could light up Gotham's darkest alleyways. It's always a little cheeky and always a little arrogant. And charming. Because he went out and he did something good, for people who can't help themselves. His eyes are usually bright, blue and bold with enough energy to power your apartment. Those are the times he usually comes to you but then sometimes, like tonight, it's like every ghost comes back and takes over. The light is gone from his eyes and it's as if he's physically incapable of managing even a fake reassuring smile. It's these nights that are always the most worrisome because you know Jason has a habit of beating himself up relentlessly when something bad happens.

For a second, he’s not sure why he showed up here. You always clean him up and stitch him up. You’ve been doing it since he was Robin. A routine because you always understood when he needed to talk or sit in silence. But tonight, he’s not even feeling like he’s worthy of the kindness that radiates from your unbroken bones. He doesn’t think he deserves the help you always offer and the understanding because he failed tonight. And it was his fault. It was so bad that his jaw clenches as his heart starts to thunder.

"Are you okay?" You keep your voice soft, just above a whisper as if speaking too loudly will shatter him entirely.

His breath hitches in his throat with the question. He nearly shatters into a billion pieces right into your carpet. Jason Todd, on a good day, is rarely ever really okay but tonight it’s so much worse. He’s trapped in a harsh reality of what he does every night and he’s trapped in his own head, haunted by every passed mistake he’s ever made. Is he doing the right thing? Is this the only way? Is Bruce right? Maybe he is fucked up and maybe he never should have been brought back. Maybe those people would be alive right now if it weren’t for him.

Jason swallows his own heartbeat, a task that feels more like swallowing river rocks. "Yeah, I'm fine." His words are short and brittle while a redness starts to wash over his eyes.

You nod slowly before you get up from your spot on the couch. Jason watches you carefully and he knows you’re about to offer him the care he swears up and down he does not deserve. You crouch in front of him, resting your hands on his knees. Jason nearly pulls away but he knows it would hurt you if he did and he doesn’t want to cause anyone else any more pain. Not tonight.

“You don’t look fine.” You say softly as you tilt your head to the right. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jason nods as his mouth runs dry. “A few places.”

“Okay so I’ll get the kit and you can move the couch.”

“You don’t have to fucking help, alright? I don’t know why I came here.” Jason huffs but it's weak and ragged, forced as if speaking is too much of a task.

“You always come to me for help, Jay.” Your voice is kind and gentle as your thumbs lightly run over his knees.

“I know but I’ve already stained your carpet and couch. It’s late and you have work. I’ll just go home. It’s fine.” Jason shakes his head, his eyes plastered where your hands meet his knees.

“I don’t mind.” You shrug as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. “Taking care of you, I mean. It doesn’t bother me.” You offer him a soft smile once he glances up to you. “And Alfred told me how to get the stains out so…you really wanna use that as an excuse or you gonna let him help you?”

Jason lets out a sigh. “I don’t know.” There's a quiver in his voice.

You tap his head lightly with your finger, Jason's eyes finally locking on yours. "What's going on up there?"

You were on the streets together before he got lucky, well, depending how you want to look at it. You've known him for years and Jason has always been the one who wants better for people, Robin and Red Hood just gave him the opportunity to actually help those people. But, with that, he's also been the person who doesn't really know his worth or believes he's enough. A lot of things have happened, a lot of people have come and gone to nail those thoughts into the deepest parts of his mind. Those are always the thoughts that tend to be the ones that stick, even if they aren't true and you know they aren't.

You know Jason has a heart of gold and always has, always will. He thinks dying charged a part of that because sometimes, it feels like he should still be dead. So, he beats his heart out of his chest until he shatters into pieces, the shards always ricocheting back at him. He breaks his own heart because he thinks he deserves it, scattering the pieces in hopes the pain will always be true to what he deserves. But, you come around and pick up the pieces anyway because you always knew he was enough and worthy and important. You always knew that Jason would do what was best, for him and for other people who needed help.

"I got a damn cipher wrong and I was too late." Jason's voice finally cracks, his words harsh and aimed at himself.

His eyes always turn to almost a navy blue whenever he starts crying. It doesn't happen often, at least not around you, but you notice it. It's as if the emotional turmoil takes over every part of him stripping him of the liviness he usually has and that includes the brightness of his eyes. And it breaks your heart every time.

Jason has always had a thing about not being enough. He wasn't enough for either of his parents to stop using or enough for his dad to stick around, get a legal job. He wasn't enough for Bruce. A lot of people have tried over the years for him and tried with good intentions to just genuinely help because he deserved to be happy and healthy and safe but for some reason, it was never enough. Something else would happen and it'd mess it all up and the only one who ever got hurt in the mess was Jason. He's mentioned, a handful of times, maybe it was just him. Destined to like this forever. But you never saw it that way.

"I'm sorry, Jay." You brush the white streak of hair out of his eyes. "Do you wanna talk about it?" You ask, your brows pulled together.

You never saw him as not enough or damaged. He's an asshole, sure, but he's also kind and forgiving. He just wants to help people. Even when you were kids, questioning where your next meal was coming from, he'd try to help other kids if he could. It's what he did. It's what he does. You found out he was Robin and all you could do was laugh because the whole vigilante thing really fit him. Maybe not the way Bruce wanted things done, but helping people who the GCPD can't or won't help. But, even beyond being a vigilante, he's your favorite person. And you wouldn't trade him for the entire world. You desperately wish he could see himself through your eyes. Maybe it would help on nights like tonight.

"No." Jason scoffs, shaking his head. "No, I don't wanna talk or think about it anymore."

"Okay." You shrug casually, knowing he'll talk in bits and pieces later. "So, why don't we get you cleaned up and stitched up then we lay down. We can watch something or I can read to you until you fall asleep. Your choice." You offer him a gentle and kind smile.

"I don't wanna keep you up later. You'll be late for work again." Jason huffs, guilty pulling at the pit of his stomach.

You shrug, giving him a cheeky grin. "Eh, yeah, I can take some PTO." Your face suddenly lights up. "What if I take PTO and we go to Petsmart tomorrow, pick up some food and we go see the kittens at the shelter? If we bring in food, we can hang out with them for a little while."

The excitement in your voice gets Jason to crack a small and fragile smile. You know how much he likes cats. It's a silly offer, maybe, but it is nice and Jason will never understand why you try to hard to make him feel better, even when he thinks he doesn't deserve it. But, he does know, he is thankful for you anyway,

"That's how you wanna spend your precious time off?" Jason's voice is rough this time but it doesn't crack.

"With you and like twenty kittens? Yes." You nod quickly. "And I think you need it, anyway." Your smile falls into something comforting and honest. It feels like home. "Hanging out with animals is good for your mental health."

"Really?" Jason raises a brow at you.

"Oh, are you gonna tell me you're not beating yourself up and thinking you're the worst? You're not. I think you're the best but I know you well enough to know you don't think so when something happens." You suck in a breath, your hands sliding over his knees a few times. "So, we go hang out with some kittens and you'll feel a little better to tell me what happened and then I'll tell you that you still did your best."

"How do you even know that?" Jason scoffs, dodging your eyes again as the guilt starts pulling on his vocal cords.

"Because you always try your best." You answer simply. "It's not always easy, Jay and it's not always gonna work out. But, you always try and that's enough." You place your hand on his cheek, getting him to look at you. "So, what'd ya say?" The corner of your mouth perks up into a gentle and hopeful smile.

The last thing he wants to do is disappoint you, let someone else down. But, he also knows, deep down, that you do it because you care and you really believe everything you tell him. All you want to do is be there for him and maybe it does take some of the weight off of his shoulders. When he's carrying the world, you stand under it with him. And when he's taking a hammer to his own heart, you yank the hammer away and swap it out with glue, helping him put it back together. And on nights like tonight, he's not sure where he'd up if it weren't for you.

Jason nods softly, taking your hand in his. "Yeah, alright, thanks." Jason leans closer, resting his forehead against yours.

"Of course, Jay." You press a quick kiss to his nose. "Now, come on, lemme help you." You get to your feet and offer your hands to help Jason up.

He shakes his head, his chest still feeling heavy but knowing you'll always be here makes things easier. So, he sticks out of his own hands and encompasses yours in his before he stands up.

Tag list: @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @dgraysonsss // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @vivian-555 // @kebonita // @deyja-the-duckk// @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @killxz

[inkandpaintleopard]

Look at that, an Introduction Post!

Good morning! And in case you’re staying up like I am, good afternoon, good evening, and good night.

I am ████████, I draw so much I have a wrist brace now.

As anyone could tell from one quick look at my blog, I love Spooky Month. It being my main fandom on here was not the plan, but I’d be surprised to see something change that now. However, any piece of media, be it shows, movies, games, books, or anything else, that I even so much as mention, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ABOUT IT. If I bring it up at all that indicates that I am willing to talk about it, bordering on desperate to, please I’ve been alone for so long-

Old Things

Anything I have ever done, anything I have ever drawn, any idea I have ever had is totally up for grabs as long as I’m credited. You can go into my old archives, please go into my archives, please reblog my age old posts, PLEASE build on my ancient ideas. I give my thoughts specifically to be built upon, to spark new concepts, to one day be turned into drawings, and if you can do any of that, DO IT. It’s not like once it’s old it’s gone, that’s what an archive is for. It’s still there, use it.

Also,

I’m gonna say that you can use my stuff for anything. Again, as long as I’m credited; but even if I’m not, what’s mostly important to me is that something I made is out there being enjoyed by someone. Also, please put my posts on Pinterest if you want because I didn’t even know it was its own social media until like a few months ago and I sure as hell won’t be doing it myself.

DNI

As for a DNI list, I don’t really have one. If you do identify with anything on a standard list (proshippers, looking at you mostly), let’s just agree to exist around each other as Minecraft wolves, ok? As long as neither of us attack each other for no reason, everything should be fine. This is a blog run by a child and is mostly about children and children’s media, keep that in mind. Honestly even if you are problematic, I likely won’t care unless you do something bad to me personally.

Don’t betray me or you’ll be integrated into all my stories through allegory characters and when you die I’ll search your grave for cool stuff.

I try to remain as neutral as I can on most touchy subjects and am generally pretty sympathetic, which may or may not be my downfall one day, but for now you can rely on me to just be your funny little art poster and AU flesher-outer.

Asks N’ Stuff

I look at every single notification/ask I get and I love receiving them. If you send an ask and I don’t answer it, chances are:

I just can’t think of a response (may be answered when I do, could be insanely old by then but eh)

It sprouted an idea in my mind that made me go “Ooo, I should draw that!” and then I never did

I am specifically keeping it in my inbox for quick access

I did have a response and I just. Forgot. I think about it constantly but only when I can’t actually post anything

I may have legitimately just missed it. Trust that I’ll eventually look in my inbox, go “Oh BRUH I NEVER SAW THAT ONE,” and then one of the above will occur

Sometimes I also just look at ‘em and smile cause they’re nice

So Uh, Yeah

Interested in characters, interested in people, interested in the future, and interested in the past. Too much is on my mind at any given time. You need fandom stuff? I got it. Something drawn? I got it. Someone to talk to? Sure, I’ll try. But for now, I’m going to bed man.

[haikyuupaladin]

So before I say anything, I do want to acknowledge that Whumptober has promised to do better about their prompts next year since this post went up, so I do trust that most of my points above about the poor handling at the time of the posting were done with no harm intended, however I may reference them in my attempt to explain what was actually intended by this post because that is the information I was working with at the time of posting.

First of all, this was never intended to lump all writers together, but to point out that unintentional ableism and lack of research are prevalent in the responses to disability related prompts in Whumptober and that given the nature of the event and the discussions being held on the Whumptober blog at the time, it’s easy to see why research gets discarded by many in the community.

I read every single fic posted in response to the seizures prompt that I could find before reaching out to Whumptober about the issue (which I had done multiple times before making this post, though apparently tumblr had eaten my asks and other methods of reaching out were getting lost in the shuffle of notifications) just so I could make sure the issues were still as prevalent as I’d noticed from past fills on AO3 and that I wasn’t mistaken in assuming it was prevalent.

I was only able to find one fic that I felt comfortable with the idea of it being promoted by the Whumptober blog (which, having looked at your blog after your response here, I realize was your fic), and it was not one of the ones that wound up making it onto their blog.

Also, I referenced conversations had on the Whumptober blog about how medical accuracy isn’t important when it comes to writing for this event, which as you can imagine was discouraging to hear without nuance, especially with that discussion being shut down soon after I shared my opinion on the topic after having seen multiple posts being entirely dismissive.

So yes, my wording may not have been perfect in the post above, but I was focusing on the overall culture of the event as I was seeing it, not lumping every writer together.

I do want to mention though that medical accuracy cannot be the only form of research you do when writing about disabilities though. Based on your fic I think you probably did other forms of research as well or else you would’ve been lucky to avoid potential issues, but your response here makes me feel the need to clarify that medical accuracy is only part of what I’m talking about in my post above. There were a lot fics equating seizures with possession or where the focus was primarily on how other characters felt about the seizures, and those are both tropes to avoid in the vast majority of cases. Medical accuracy is extremely important but we are also more than a list of symptoms, and all the published medical journals in the world won’t tell you what it’s like to live with epilepsy or what tropes we find offensive and dehumanizing.

TLDR; The way ableism in the Whumptober community has been handled this year is incredibly disappointing at best and ableist in and of itself at worst.

I’ve mentioned this in reblogs and sent in related asks to @whumptober before (only one or two of the asks were answered) but I have some serious issues with how Whumptober has been handled this year from an ableism perspective.

First of all, there were multiple prompts that were heavily tied to specific disabilities. The one I’m focusing on for this post is “Seizures” on day 7 because I have epilepsy, but I know day 7 also had “Silent Panic Attack” as a prompt and “Allergic Reaction” was another prompt off the top of my head. (Edit: I have also had the prompt “Withdrawal” pointed out to me as being another prompt that needs to be handled with tact due to addictions, which also fall under the disability umbrella, as well as “ringing ears” which connects to tinnitus, and “crutches” which is self-explanatory). While the prompts are released ahead of time and the event allows you to start working on your prompts as soon as the prompts are released, Whumptober is still a daily writing challenge and the prompts are only released about a month in advance, giving people an average of 2 days to write a prompt if they’re aiming to be completionist. That is not enough time to handle these prompts with the respect they deserve, so these prompts should not be included.

I realize that by the time I brought it up it was too late to retract the prompts, but there was no encouragement to the participants to handle the topics properly in their fills, nor was there any indication that this will be taken into account when selecting prompts in the future. In fact the blog said multiple times that it was ok to be medically inaccurate, and while my ask with my opinion that you should be medically accurate when it comes to disability related prompts was answered and shared, there was far more encouragement to just write whatever you found fun with complete disregard for medical accuracy shared, and the conversation was shut down entirely soon after that ask was answered.

The blog they’ve been reblogging prompt fills to has not been taking into account possible ableism when reblogging fills. I read through almost all of the fills for the seizure prompt and there was only one fic that I remember being handled well (though I can’t remember which one off the top of my head and it was not one of the ones shared to @whumptober-archive). Also, a lot of people made gif sets to fill the seizures prompt, which is inherently, if unintentionally, ableist, as it treats seizures voyeuristically, romanticizing and trivializing the seriousness of seizures. One of these gif sets was reblogged to the archive blog and multiple ableist fics have been reblogged as well. I have asked for them to at least consider taking down the reblog and the more blatantly ableist fics, but have gotten no response on this and the reblogs are still there.

I understand that there’s a lot of work already going into this event, and that how people choose to fill the prompts can’t be controlled, however, taking into consideration the nature of the event, prompts that are likely to lead to ableist fills should not be included, and ableist fills should not be promoted by the event runners.

[tittyblade]

tumblr etiquette 101

a list that is nowhere near exhaustive, from yours truly.

First off, welcome! Whether you’re a twitter veteran looking for anything but whatever twitter is, or a new user just done signing up, glad to see you in our ranks beloveds! Welcome home. Refer to this quick tour to make sure your fandom experience (or tumblr experience in general) is a positive one!

Disclaimer: I know it’s long, but please try to read or skim through til the end if you’re new here! This is by no means meant to be a rule book (for the most part lol), only a guide to help you get settled easier!

1) Your blog

This is where people will see and interact with you, so put some effort into it!

Try to choose a name (url) that’s simple. You can see it as your brand, it’s how people will perceive you and remember you. If you’d like to interact with other users here (and not use the site just for the content) it’s better to have something short and sweet, preferably without spaces. (Of course, these are only suggestions.) Rest assured, you can change it literally any time you want.

Have a theme. Utilize the tool that lets you edit your blog’s color or the font of your bio! You can make it match your profile picture, or your blog if it has a theme of its own. Make it feel homey :]

Fill in your bio. People will be checking out your profile probably more often than you think. Don’t leave it empty! Put in any information you’re comfortable with sharing and isn’t too personal (like your age if you’re a minor, or other TMI that can be found on other people’s carrds). It’s always better to add a name/nickname people can use to refer to you by, but feel free to use your blog description to shitpost still.

You can have an intro post. More often than not, you’ll see a blog have a pinned post, a post permanently appearing at the top of a blog until you pin another post or unpin it. You can make one of those, if you’d like to introduce yourself in more length, link any other socials or a carrd, and show others visiting your blog how you tag things so it’ll be easy for them to navigate. Not an obligation.

Keep your anonymity and your safety. It should go without saying, but there’s no harm in repeating it just in case. Your comfort, privacy and safety has the utmost importance. Don’t share any information you don’t want to. Don’t share your age if you’re a minor, or any other incredibly personal info. I’d encourage you to go by a nickname that’s not your real name, (blog name, your brand, remember?) since there’s safety in anonymity, and that’s lowkey one of the big deals of tumblr, but that’s up to you still.

Choose what you want to be visible. Your liked posts and who you follow are all things you can set to keep to yourself and hide from the publics eye, how handy! You should go through all the setting while you’re at it, set it to your comfort.

Side blogs are a thing. You can have multiple blogs that you can use for different things (see: different fandoms, art blog, etc) to keep them organized or away from your followers. Just remember that the replies and off-anon asks you send will be from your main blog, as well as where you follow other blogs from.

2) Interacting with others

You’ve set up your account, now comes the fun part!

Follow to your heart’s desire. If you care about others seeing who you follow, fear not! In tumblr, usually only two types of blogs keep their following visible to others: newbies, and big blogs using it to point people on other good blogs’ direction. Just turn it off, and go ham following people.

Customize your dashboard. Gonna mention just two things here: this is another reason why it’s really important that you follow blogs without sparing, your dash will collect dust otherwise; and you should turn off “best stuff first” in your dashboard settings, to have a better community here and all.

Follow tags. You can set it in your settings that posts with your followed tags appear on your dashboard.

You can check the og post for edits and context. When you see a reblogged post you don’t understand the context of (or don’t recognize the character in case of fanarts), click on the profile so it will take you to the original post. From there you can check the original poster’s tags to get the context, or see if there have been any edits made to the post, since when you edit a post it doesn’t update any past reblogs.

Send people asks... This is how you make mutuals, people! Do it off-anon if you’d like them to know your blog, or anon if you’d rather not! (You can still end your messages with a signature to show you’re the same person, -[name] is one example.) Send them nice messages, ask their opinion on something, discuss things, or just straight up shitpost lol. Go wild. The sky’s your limit and it’s definitely more than 280 characters.

...and let them ask you! You can set your preference in the settings, do it on desktop tumblr to access more settings tho! What you can customize on mobile is limited (like letting people ask you things anonymously, that’s only on desktop settings). In my personal opinion, it’s always better to tag their username (or a nickname you give them, if they’re a friend) on that post, since you wouldn’t want your interactions with your friends to get buried in your blog forever.

Comment on posts. If you have something to say but don’t want the post to appear on your blog you can add a comment. The owner of the post will get a notif for it, but for anyone else you need to tag them.

For the love of god, reblog. People will only see your liked posts if you have it visible to public and they specifically go on your blog to look at them. You like something? You reblog. It’s already hard for posts to circulate properly, if you don’t reblog them literally no one will see them. If not for anything do it for the artists. Just hold and drag on mobile to fast rb.

3) Your Posts

Finally here! Don’t be a lurker, post and engage!

Make use of “read more”. If your post is long, add it. That’s what you clicked on earlier to expand this post. On desktop leave an empty line and you’ll see three dots appear, and on mobile type :readmore: on that empty line.

Draft a post to come back to it later. Pretty self explanatory.

Queue your post. Whether it’s your own post or you’re reblogging, make use of the queue feature to a) not spam reblog and fill up the dashboard of people following you and b) keep your blog active while you’re gone. Mess around in the settings, it’s fairly easy to set up.

Schedule your post. Same as queueing, the only difference is you get to choose the exact time your post will go up. Handy if you want to schedule a post for certain dates like april fools, or 5 years in the future for some reason. 

Format your texts. You can do all kinds of fancy stuff here (that’s a link, try pressing on it). Twitter doesn’t have this, make use of it. Changes depending on whether you’re on mobile or desktop. (Desktop has less features.)

Check your stats. If you’re trying to understand the algorithm better or want to look at some pretty graphs you can get your data on that on desktop tumblr.

@ people in comments. You’ll get all the notifs when people comment on your posts but they won’t see your reply unless you tag them in your message.

4) Tags, and tagging a post

This is where my earlier statement “this isn’t a rule book” stops being applicable. It’s not a war crime to go against these, I won’t come chasing you (don’t take my word for this) but you’ll work up a bad rep. Just saying lol.

Do NOT crosstag posts. It’s really tempting to add unrelated tags to increase your posts’ interaction, I know, but that’s not what tumblr is about. Don’t be a dick and make other communities’ experience worse for them.

Always tag your posts with “crit/critical/discourse/etc” if it calls for it. There’s no exceptions to it. This is the reason you see people migrating to tumblr. Let people enjoy things.

Don’t main tag a critical/negative post. If your crit post is about “Thing”, you add the “Thing critical” tag, but not the “Thing” tag. People block crit tags if they don’t want to see it, don’t shove it in their faces by main tagging it. 

If you don’t want to see something, just block it. Another reason why people are able to survive on tumblr. You don’t start discourse, you don’t make call-outs, you block. You can find something for every community you can think of if you go looking for it. The worst of the worst probably won’t ever appear on your dash, but if you’re worried or feel the need for it, you know where the block button is.

Feel free to shitpost or ramble. More often than not you’ll see people rb a post with a comment, and their elaboration will be in the tags. The tags are only visible on your profile and the notifications of the owner of the og blog. Just a thing people do.

Reblog artists’ posts with nice comments in the tags! Commenting on a drawing is usually done through the tags (Not an obligation, again, just a thing people do. Feel free to add your comment on the rb itself if you’d want other people to see it tho!) and leave nice messages for the artists! It’s a win-win for everyone involved. 

If you have more than a single follower, always use the common tw warning tags. You don’t need to tw everything, but tw’ing some common things is the bare minimum human decency. Keep it safe for others. 

Tag a post “long post” if it’s really long. Pretty self explanatory. Don’t make people scroll through all that please lol. 

You can use them to organize your blog. This is more of a pro tip, if you’d like to not miss a post in your blog, cause they will start pilin’ up soon enough.

#Liveblogging is pretty fun. If you’d like to talk to people during streams, don’t forget to add the relevant tags still! Again, you won’t show up on people’s dash otherwise.

Whew! That got out of hand. Hopefully I didn’t bore you too much. Check out blogs like @heritageposts and @hellsite-hall-of-fame to honor our past o7. @mcytblr-hall-of-fame too maybe :eyes:. Anyways, don’t forget the most important rule of them all:

Enjoy your stay! You’re meant to have fun on here while also making friends (if that’s your thing). Just be kind and respectful of others, you’ll get the hang of the rest! <3

[scarletsaphire]

Reblogging is the way that we share content on tumblr. If you click this in your notes (the notifications) you will be brought to the post on my blog. You’ll notice that your name will be above the sections that you have written, and my name will be above the section I’ve written. This is how we differentiate who makes what parts of a post.

If someone was to like or reblog this post from my blog, it will show up in both of our notifications; me, because they are interacting with my blog, and you because they’re interacting with your post. It isn’t reposting information, its just the way that content is shared on this website!

Replying is when you want to tell the original poster something, but don’t want to put it on your blog for whatever reason, or don’t want any of your followers/other people to see it. You can only see people’s replys if you open the notes of a specific post, which is in the bottom left.

The other big thing about reblogs is tagging. Reblogging not only shares the post with all your followers, it also allows you to save it for you to find later! The easiest way to do this is with tags. Lets say you really like cool rocks, so whenever you see a picture of a cool rock, you reblog it. If you wanted to, you could tag every picture of a cool rock with “cool rock” and then, whenever you wanted to see cool rocks, you could go to your own blog and search “cool rock” and boom! every cool rock picture you ever tagged.

Tags are also how we spread content to the rest of the site. Only an original post will show up in the site search feature, so your personal cool rock tab will remain personal. But if you found a posted your own picture of a cool rock and posted it with that tag, it’ll show up in the search of everyone looking for cool rocks! Only the first 5 tags on a post will be visible in the search, and people WILL report you if you spam random tags. (innocent mistakes are one thing, but if you have your post tagged with 40 different things, all of which are popular, and your post doesnt have anything to do with any of them, that’s spamming. Don’t do that.)

Blazing posts is a way for you to sponsor your post and force other people to look at it. Its like 5 bucks and mostly used for memes, or occasionally PSA’s. Or pet pictures. Or commissions. It basically just means that tumblr will put the post on x number of people dashboards (the tumblr home page) with x being dependent on how much you pay. Don’t worry about it, its not super relevant.

As for who you should follow, the OP or the reblogger, the best way to figure it out is to just scroll through their blog for a bit. The OP might have made this one funny post and everything else is some fandom you don’t like, so you don’t follow them. The reblogger might spam a whole bunch of random shit and you don’t want that many posts from the same person in a row. Just click the username and take a look. If you like the content follow, if not, don’t!

A couple tumblr etiquette things I want to mention quickly: You can like and reblog old posts. In fact you should like and reblog old posts, its a vital part of tumblr. We still have posts from 10 years ago that regularly get interacted with, so don’t worry about someone thinking you’re “stalking” them or whatever it is people think on instagram.

The next biggest thing is you do not ask someone to change what they post. You can ask to have certain things tagged! But do not go on someone else’s blog and ask them to stop posting supernatural stuff because you followed them for cool rocks. You can unfollow if it gets annoying, or you can do what most of us seem to do and stick it out. There’s no shame in unfollowing or blocking though; there isn’t a public follow/follower list so you won’t get called out or whatever.

If you have any more questions feel free to ask, I’ve been using tumblr for 7 years now.

OK so day 2 of trying to use Tumblr...

I followed a bunch of random people that posted stuff I thout are cool, but still didn't do anything to the posts because I don't really understand yet how and what...

What is the difference between reply and reblug and like? Like I think I get it but also I don't get it... Am I supposed to reblug reblug stuff? But then wouldn't it be like I'm stealing content for my blog???

So let's say someone posts an art that I like do I just like it? I see a lot of reblugs I think so do I follow the person who rebluged or the op?

Also also what is to blaze?

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 137

Trying to figure out Author’s notes is hard.... Sometimes I just don’t have anything pithy to say, or have too much to say and don’t know where to put it all.

Obviously I am an overthinker.

So, for the sake of everyone reading: Let’s cut to the Shoutouts!

The obvious first: @baelpenrose, @the-raven-fae, @anotherusrname, and @charlylimph-blog! I love all of you, you are the best.

Special mentions to: @zommbiebro bc I miss you and hope you’re okay. @nekohuntslight for being the OG person to message me about liking the story (yes, Bael, this is the dirty secret behind why I thought you lived in Australia when we first started talking.... shhhhhh). And alllllll the binge readers who blow up my inbox every day, Iloveyousomuchyoudon’tunderstand. Very much adore all of you, you have no idea how serious I am being right now. I need to go through and make one post just screaming all your names to the universe.

Tyche brought drinks and snacks from my kitchen before flopping on the couch in my quarters. The guys were at work, along with Antoine, but my office was closed down for the day. “How are you feeling about tomorrow?” she asked.

“Vati and Hannah have everything planned to the smallest detail,” I shrugged. “They’ve already coordinated with Xio and Evan for all the crowd control and monitoring shifts, and the murals are going up today.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m well aware of the logistics stuff. I literally handle all the staffing for the humans on the Ark, and Antoine was also part of the crowd control conversations.”

“Then why did you ask?” I laughed, grabbing a cracker and carefully stacking cheese and other toppings on it. 

Before I could get it to my mouth, she snatched it and held it out of my reach. “Because I’m asking how you feel. You’re only attending as… well, an attendee. No monitoring, no calling the shots, no working from the floor.”

She surrendered my cracker, but I found myself setting it down, appetite gone. “I’m okay - “

“Lie.” There was suddenly a finger levelled between my eyes like a gun. Just as quickly, it was lowered, and my sister was tilting her head at me. “Come on. You know you can’t lie to me - I’ve known you longer than literally anyone on this ship except yourself.”

“Fine! It’s weird!” I admitted in frustration, standing to pace and shoving my hands through my hair. “My skin is crawling with anxiety, my hands are twitching to snatch up the files and nitpick everything to the smallest detail….”

“Except they locked you out.”

“Except they locked me out, yeah. But I’m pretty sure I could get Derek to let me in, which is why I’ve made a point to tell him not to, no matter how much I ask.” Dropping my hands, I sighed. “But if I ever want to leave this position, I have to let them do this.”

She shrugged and stole my cracker, this time chewing and swallowing before she responded. “You could have kept some involvement in it, you know.”

“Pfft, yeah right. I would have taken it over, and you know that.”

“Yep.”

“Then why even ask.” I dropped back down on the couch.

“‘Cause you needed to hear yourself say it,” she explained, nonchalant as ever, snagging an olive and watching me calmly.

I sat in silence, processing it.  I hated when she outsmarted me like that, especially when she was right. “Can I at least eat first?”

She laughed and let it go, telling me how well the murals for the Festival were coming.  I hadn’t even gotten to - allowed myself - to see the designs, and the more Tyche talked about them, the more I wanted to see them.  By the time I finished my share of our snack, I decided to check out the progress.

We finally made our way to the decks where the Festival would take place, and I thought Tyche was going to die laughing at the way I gaped. The alcoves where the vendors would stage looked the same on first glance, but a closer look revealed very subtle shapes added that would give them a more savage, wild look in the right lighting. Metal sconces had been added to hold what looked like torches, but with special light emitters to simulate open flame. As we walked further, swirls of color revealed themselves slowly, first in light, curling tendrils, but slowly sharpening and taking on a more angular shape, twisting together into phantasmal images that vanished as soon as you tried to focus on them.

“It’s like walking through a garden, or a rainforest, but when I turn my head, I’m in a city.”

“Right?” she laughed as we came around the final corner. 

At this point, we were surrounded by this mural.  Just up ahead, there was a messy head of black hair tied back with a green piece of cloth. Bare feet and arms show smears of paint, and overalls covered a tank top - that, or the cloth for the hair had formerly been sleeves, I couldn’t tell.  One hand propped up on hips while the other hung down, holding a very familiar paint pen.

“Christ on a triscuit, Vati, this is incredible,”  I gasped softly.

She turned and smirked at me over her shoulder. “Not yet, but it will be when I finish.”

“I mean, all of it. The sconces…”

“Those were Hannah and Ivan.” Parvati walked over and touched one with her finger tip, stroking it gently.

Tyche made an impressed noise. “I’m only a little shocked that he had enough time.”

“The materials are on loan from the engineering departments, and we wanted them to be rather rough in the finishing. It helped. Sophia, no matter how curious you are, please do not lick the walls.”

A giggle bubbled up through my chest. “The thought never crossed my mind. I was trying to put together all the flavor profiles here. It’s… a lot.”

“Forgive me if I focused more on color than how the walls would taste. I don’t generally cook, remember.”

I stared down a swirl of pomegranate, popcorn, and gochujang. The colors - blue, pink, and yellow, respectively - worked well together, but the thought of the flavors made my stomach churn. “I solemnly swear not to lick the walls,” I promised. “How much of this are you expecting to still be up by the third night?”

“We have a team that will specifically come touch up the mural in specific places the morning before the second day.”

Tyche turned toward me and away from her study of the art. “Also, you would be surprised how much paint is on the walls. It will take a lot for Else to eat it all, once they are allowed in the area.”

“Before you ask,” Parvati cut me off. “We just asked them nicely. Well, Sam and Derek did.  They’ve become quite the ersatz diplomats to Else.” 

“Anything left?”

“Hannah is putting the final touches on the curtains for the alcoves and the seating areas. She’ll have a team installing them tonight once I finish.”

It was clever, and explained why she was only touching up part of the mural halfway between now and the closing of the event. “You two have really put your stamp on it.”

“Feel better?” She held one hand up gesturing at the entire entire project, eyebrow arched  to show me that she hadn’t been fooled for a moment.

I rubbed my neck, and glanced at her from underneath my eyelashes. “Busted, I guess.”

“That would imply that anyone had believed your charade,” she smirked.

Taking a deep breath, I looked around us again. “I honestly do. I could never have done all this. Holding on would have…”

“Kept you in a position you frankly hate,” Parvati interrupted gracefully. “It’s the same reason Sebastian went back to the Undine. He’s passionate about it, and it shows in the quality of his work.” When I gaped in insult, she held up a hand. “Not everyone can succeed through fear of failing and a determination that things be done right if they must be done at all.”

“Everyone talking about me needing to retire, like I’m old or something,” I joked, throwing my hands into the air.  “Physically, I’m only thirty-five.”

Tyche nodded to concede my point. “What about the food? I haven’t seen a menu come out yet.”

The change in topic made Parvati’s face collapse. “What? It should have gone out yesterday…” She flicked open her datapad, which flickered from the overspray that covered it. Frantically scrolling, she groaned. “This was scheduled, why didn’t it send?”

“Did you check the date?” I asked calmly. “Specifically the year.”

“Three times, it’s scheduled for tomorrow,” she insisted. “Right here: May seventeenth, twenty-forty aw fuck….”

“At least you got the decade right,” I pointed out. “You wouldn’t believe how many scheduled emails I’ve tried to automatically send out for ten or fifteen years ago.”

She nodded and seemed to get her bearings back. “So, protocol for this is… just send it right now and apologize for the late notification, don’t try to make excuses or explain?”

“Exactly. They won’t care why, they’ll just be excited the list is out.”

With a couple quick gestures, she sent the email and dismissed her datapad. “Okay, that was the last thing, then.” Turning back toward the wall she was working on before, she waved to us over her shoulder. “I’m not trying to be rude, but I really do need to finish this up. Thank you for coming to see everything… it was oddly reassuring to have both of you give us your stamp of approval before the Festival instead of making us wait until after.”

“For the record, you two have always had my stamp of approval, or I wouldn’t have tried so hard to keep my nose out of it.” I knew she couldn’t see me, but I still smiled. “We’ll catch up with you after the Food Festival.  Remember: both of you need to plan on taking the day off afterwards. I’m serious.  Have your unofficial advisors drop in and chat about everything, that’s fine. But no actual work, and I won’t let either of you see the survey results until the second day after. So rest.”

“Got it, boss lady. Have a good night!”

Tyche and I turned and headed back to my quarters. We remained silent as we took in all the preparations that had been done, waving to the handful of vendors who were bringing their supplies in already. Once we were back in normal corridors, the silence broke almost immediately.

“I think they’ve got this,” Tyche suggested nonchalantly.

“Oh, I know they do.”

<< Prev   Masterlist  Next >>

[cozy-neko]

The Cherry On Top • 02 • 03 | Charity stream disaster • 04

Kenma checked his stream overlay one last time to make sure everything was set up correctly. The streamer was only ten minutes away from his scheduled 24-hour charity stream that Akaashi had set up for him in partnership with the energy drink company, Black Sheep. For every donation Kenma receives during his live stream, all proceeds will be 100% donated to help animal shelters in need of supplies.

For once, Kenma was actually excited about a partnership. As a lover of cats and raising three rescues himself, it wasn’t particularly a hard decision for Kenma to make when Black Sheep had approached him and brought up the idea of a partnership and a charity stream campaign in conjunction with the animal shelter Black Sheep was associated with.

That was why when his sponsorship with Black Sheep had been threatened by a rumor, Kenma ultimately made a public announcement to deny the rumor and personally reached out to the PR/Influencer team at Black Sheep to talk it out with them.

Now, three minutes prior to going live, Kenma’s phone buzzed multiple times. He glanced at the lit up screen and rolled his eyes. It was Kuroo who was blowing up his phone, and Kenma had a fairly decent idea of what the texts were about.

Last week, Kuroo and Kenma had met up with Akaashi and Bokuto for their monthly dinner meet up when Akaashi had mentioned Kenma’s upcoming charity stream.

“A 24-hour stream is too easy for Kenma; the gremlin routinely stays up at least 36-hours once a week anyways.” Kuroo let out a barking laugh as he flipped the meat that was grilling in front of the four friends.

“That’s besides the point, Kuroo.” Kenma rolled his eyes and leaned back in the vinyl booth. “I’m doing a charity stream. All donations I get during the stream goes towards the animal shelter that Black Sheep partners with.” Kenma made sure to slowly emphasize the word “charity” when he explained his upcoming project.

“You know, I’ve never seen Kenma so excited about a project,” Bokuto quipped as he eagerly tucked into his meal.

“It’s for a good cause and Kozume was quick to say yes,” Akaashi added as he flashed a small smile towards the flushed streamer. Kenma still wasn’t used to hearing people praise him, no matter how often he was always featured in esports commentary and articles.

“I have three cat rescues myself, so it was a no brainer,” he mumbled, averting eye contact. He opted to push around the burnt pieces of meat with his chopsticks around his plate instead.

“Aw, you’re embarrassed that you got caught being openly excited for your next project!” Kuroo smirked and nudged his friend. It was all friendly-banter, and Kenma knew that Kuroo meant well and was extremely happy for him, but he flushed harder as Bokuto and Akaashi chimed in to cheer on their friend.

“I’m just being a nice person. Maybe you should try it some day,” Kenma shot back.

“What do you mean?” Kuroo scoffed. “I’m always a nice person.”

Akaashi and Kenma rolled their eyes at Kuroo while Bokuto let out a good-natured laugh at Kuroo’s response.

“Hey, wait! You know what you should do to make your 24-hour stream more spicy?” There was a mischievous glint in Bokuto’s eyes as he waited for his friends to respond. 

“Bokuto-san, whatever you’re thinking probably isn’t a go--” 

“Drunk 24-hour stream!” 

“Oh, nice!” Kuroo snapped his fingers and grinned his infamous Cheshire Cat smirk. Akaashi sighed and Kenma grimaced. 

"I’m not going to take ideas from two drunks. And we barely sat down to eat, how are you two this drunk already?” Kenma wrinkled his nose.

Kenma unlocked his phone and quickly scanned through his group chat. Yup. There it was: a barrage of texts from Kuroo asking Kenma if he had his booze ready followed by a spam of suggestive eye emojis by Bokuto. Kenma was quick to notice that Akaashi had purposely chosen to ignore the group texts and offered no help in diverting the suggestions.

Kenma snorted quietly at Bokuto's message as he locked his phone. He looked up at the monitor to his right and read some comments that were starting to flood in his stream chat. He gave his camera a small smile and leaned back in his chair, answering some questions that caught his attention and saying "hi" to others.

Kenma usually liked to start his stream off rather chill by interacting with his viewers. After playing his music playlist and adjusting the volume, he finally announced his agenda for the day after a few minutes.

"Today I'm partnering with Black Sheep for a charity stream. It's going to be a 24-hour stream and we're gonna spend most of the time playing some League. All donations I get will go towards helping an animal shelter which you guys know I'm all for." Kenma paused as his donation notification sounded and his text-to-speech setting began to read the donation to him and his viewers.

"meowriachi donated $25: 24-hour stream? too ezpz kodzuken"

Kenma laughed and ran a hand through his messy half-up styled hair.

"I was telling my friends about today's stream and Kuroo said the same thing. Maybe in our next collaboration we'll do a longer stream if you guys want that. We'll also be able to have more fun and do more things, too."

Kenma was smart and sneaky. He always was. Kuroo did always say he was the brains of the team back in high school when they played volleyball together. Kenma was good at analyzing situations, and because of this strength, Kenma knew when to use certain words and situations to create benefits for him and his career. This was no exception. The streamer knew Black Sheep would be moderating his stream, so now the company had slight pressure to partner with him again if there was an in demand from his fans. And this was Kodzuken we were talking about. There was no doubt Kenma knew there would already be a second sponsorship in the works.

Kenma smirked. Easy peasy stream indeed.

Kenma loved his job. He truly did. It wasn't every day someone could wake up every day and actually look forward to going to work, and for that, Kenma was thankful. He was thankful that he had the skillsets to do well in competitive gaming and that he had a knack of being able to pick up mechanics of new games so easily. He was thankful that he had a fanbase that enjoyed his commentary and sarcastic humor, and a fanbase that supported and helped him build his brand from ground up.

Kenma knew he owed one-third of his success to his fans and another one-third to his own hard work and passion. But Kenma also knew he owed the last one-third of his success to his friends.

Not once did Kenma regret making Akaashi his manager; Akaashi had gotten him way more sponsorships than Kenma himself could've if he was still balancing streaming, content creation, and managing his own projects.

Kenma was thankful for Kuroo for always challenging him to step outside his comfort zone. Even when Kenma was irritated and didn't want to hear Kuroo's words of advice and encouragement, Kenma was still grateful for it all.

And Bokuto. Kenma guesses he can be thankful for Bokuto for always hyping him up when he needed it the most. Especially when he was extremely hung over from a night out of (forced) drinking and had barely ten minutes to wake up and set up his stream on time.

Yes, Kenma was truly thankful for his friends. But right now, Kenma wanted to kill them. He wanted to kill Kuroo and Bokuto for coming over to his house uninvited even after he warned them not to and for raiding his stream in real life.

Right now, Kenma was seething. One, he was in the middle of a very important sponsorship deal. Two, he was in the middle of a ranked game in League of Legends and he didn't want to lose his winning streak. And three, his two goofball friends had showed up to his house with alcohol and announced out loud to his viewers that Kenma would now be participating in a drunk 24-hour stream.

Kenma doesn't remember the last time he got this mad. What's worse was that Kenma's fans were all for it. His stream chat was getting spammed with poggers emotes, and it was difficult for Kenma to admit that he had been getting more and more donations ever since Kuroo and Bokuto had shown up and the alcohol was brought out. And because of that, Kenma had begrudgingly surrendered and cracked open a White Claw.

Except he didn't stop only at one; not if Kuroo and Bokuto could help it. And at only about 5'8" with a smaller build, Kenma unfortunately fell victim to being a lightweight. And with Kuroo and Bokuto, kings of being instigators, were there to egg him on along with his stream chat, Kenma downed can after can.

Just a little something to take the edge off a work week, right?

end notes:

→ kenma’s twitch stream took me 30 minutes to piece together 😪

→ if you see the same comments on kenma’s twitch chat twice... no you didn’t 😀🔪

→ also peep the stream title change 👀

→ kenma’s the type to use scuffed candids of his friends as their contact photos, but it didn’t work out too well. he actually respects akaashi enough to use a decent photo, and bokuto never takes a bad photo. ever. i guess kuroo’s the only one he can easily clown.

TAG LIST:

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also, please make sure your tag notification settings are turned on, or else I won’t be able to tag you!!

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[theladyofdeath]

The Ranch {14}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Collaboration: @snelbz​ x @tacmc​

Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.

Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.

The Ranch Masterlist

When Cassian woke up the next morning, Nesta was gone. She was probably off doing one of the many things on her ridiculously long list, and it was probably wise that she left before he woke up because he would’ve tried to guilt her into staying again. 

He’d slept well, but the meds had definitely worn off. He popped a pill into his mouth and washed it down with a water bottle before pulling himself out of bed and hauling himself into the bathroom.

He looked in the mirror and groaned. He looked like shit, which wasn’t a surprise cause he felt like shit. He brushed his teeth and washed his face, all one handed, and then came his hair.

After a couple of attempts - way more than he was willing to admit - it was tied at the back of his head, but now came the part he definitely could not do on his own. He tossed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on the bed, followed by some socks. Getting his sweats off was no problem, but as he tried to step into his jeans, stumbling, he sighed and sat down on the bed.

“Grown ass man and I have to sit down to put my pants on,” he mumbled, doing just that. He went ahead and put the socks on, then stood and glared at the shirt, knowing he wasn’t going to be able to put that one on by himself. He grabbed it, tossing it over his shoulder. He sighed, imagining how hard Nesta was going to laugh when he had to ask her to help him get dressed. At least he’d get to see that look she gets whenever she saw his abs. Cassian whistled, slipping his phone into his pocket and heading into the living room. No sign of Beau.

Stepping into his boots, he muttered, “Damn woman even has my dog wrapped around her finger.”

He stepped out onto the porch, sun on his bare chest, and made his way up to the main house. He’d go down and get some stuff from his cabin that afternoon, and take the truck to check on the herd, but he’d take it easy. Doctor’s orders.

He climbed the back steps and entered the kitchen. Nesta wasn’t there, which he was half hoping, as he was starving, but he could hear her talking in the living room.

He walked towards the front of the house, saying, “Baby, I need you to gimme a hand.”

He entered the room and found Nesta sitting on the couch, pen and paper in hand. Her back was to him so she was turned around to stare at him, eyes wide in horror. There was a young woman with red hair sitting on the other end, mouth hanging open.

Nesta quickly got to her feet. “Maggie, this is Cassian. Cassian, this is Maggie, she’s here to talk about helping out with the B&B.”

Cassian’s ears burned. “Nice to meet you. Nesta, can we…” He trailed off and pointed to the kitchen.

She said, “Yes, absolutely. Maggie, I’m so sorry, I’ll be right back.”

He headed into the kitchen and she followed him. Cass kept his voice low as he said, “You never told me you had any inquiries, you just posted the ad yesterday.”

“I know, but Maggie called this morning, and was available to talk right away, so I told her to head on over.” Nesta paused and added, “Wait, I texted you all of this.”

Cassian pulled out his phone and looked down at the screen. Indeed, he did have a slew of notifications, with no less than four text messages from Boss. He winced. “My bad, sweetheart.”

Nesta rolled her eyes at his stupid contact name for her and said, “It’s okay.” She raised up on her toes and kissed him. “How’d you sleep?”

“Hard. I don’t remember waking up all night. Hurting this morning though. I took my meds, I wanted to run down and take a look at the herd. And I’m not gonna do anything, so get that look off of your face,” he added, seeing her eyebrows already raising. “I just won’t be able to take it easy until I see with my own two eyes that they're taken care of. But because I’m such a hero and I took a bullet for my best friend, I’m having trouble putting my shirt on. Think I can get some help?”

She let her forehead fall into her hand. “Oh my god, why do I love you?”

He laughed and said, “I love you, too.”

After he sat in one of the chairs, she helped him get the sling off. She awkwardly pulled the shirt on him, one arm at a time and then over his head. “Rhys said he’d come over after lunch to clean that for you,” Nesta said, helping him refasten the sling around his neck and Cass nodded, grateful he had a friend who was not only able to help out but also willing. “Oh, and the new ranch hand is out feeding the horses, if you want to go introduce yourself.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek and started to walk back to the living room.

He was on his feet instantly. “The new- you hired a ranch hand? Without me? Shouldn’t I have been a part of this?”

She looked at him over her shoulder and said “It’s my ranch, and I think you’ll find I made a great decision.” She winked and he heard her talking with Maggie once again.

Cassian was still sitting dumbfounded in the kitchen. He was tempted to yell WHAT THE FUCK but figured Maggie was a nice, young girl who didn’t need to be corrupted with his shocked curses.

“Damn you woman,” he muttered, pulling himself to a standing position and heading out the back door. The meds were finally starting to kick in as he stumbled down the porch steps and into his truck.

After starting the engine, he headed down to the stables. Sure enough, a tall figure dressed in jeans, an old tee shirt, and a backwards ball cap was leaned up against the fence outside of the stables, watching the horses meander about in the pasture.

Cassian threw open the door and got out, slamming it behind him, but the second the man turned around, all weariness and frustration Cassian had from Nesta hiring a ranch hand without him faded away.

He halted, a few feet away from the fence. After blinking a few times, he asked, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Azriel chuckled and said, “I thought she was kidding when she said she hadn’t told you.”

Cassian was staring at his brother not knowing how to respond to that. “I have no idea what’s going on.”

Az shook his head. “I decided the dealership wasn’t a good fit. I thought I liked the mechanical side of ranching, but I was wrong. Elain was texting with Nesta last night and she mentioned y’all could use a hand around here, so.” He lifted his arms and indicated himself. “Here I am.”

“You’re the new ranch hand,” Cassian said, slowly, as if he still didn’t believe the words.

“Seem to be,” Azriel said.

“Here? At this ranch?”

“Unless I’m at the wrong one,” Azriel said, laughing.

Cassian’s mouth broke into a slow grin. “You know this means that you’re, like, my assistant, right?”

Azriel was shaking his head. “I don’t think so.”

“Fuck yeah,” Cassian grinned. The smile on his face matched the relief he felt inside.

He and Azriel hopped in the truck and went out into the back pasture, making sure nothing looked out of the ordinary.

“So,” Cass began. “Woke up to a visit from the cops yesterday morning.”

Azriel raised his eyebrows. “They came here? They didn’t just call?”

Cassian shook his head. “Nope, damn near gave Nes a heart attack. Asked all the generic questions, tried to make this about one of us instead of about Tamlin being a jealous piece of shit with a grudge.”

“I assume you’ll be testifying, too?” Azriel asked.

He nodded. “Yeah, Monday. Are you?”

“Yeah, since I’m the one who took off after him, they need me to recreate my steps for the jury.” Azriel rolled his eyes. “As if us and everyone at that wedding didn’t hear what he said, as if there’s any defense for him.”

Cassian shrugged, wincing slightly. “If it gets him locked up for longer, I’m on board.”

Az looked at his oldest friend. “How are you?”

“Sore,” Cassian said, and when Azriel snorted, Cassian went on. “Looks worse than it is. Nesta worries too much.”

Azriel blinked. “You got a bullet half an inch from your heart, Cass.”

“That’s what I keep hearing,” he mumbled. “I can’t just sit on my ass all day, though, I’d lose my shit. I’m already losing my shit.” Az just stared at him. “Look, I’m gonna be taking it easy, but I can’t just do nothing. You know how I am. But I’m trying for Nesta and for the baby.”

“God, that’s still…insane.” Azriel took his hat off and ran a hand through it. “You’re gonna be a dad. Good luck.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cassian looked at him from the side.

Azriel raised an eyebrow. “Do you remember what we were like as children?”

Cass looked around them, at the land, the animals, the buildings on the property. “Oh gods, there’s way too many things for them to destroy.”

Azriel laughed. “You’ll be fine, man.” He gently rested his hand on Cassian’s good shoulder. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.” Cass smiled. “So when the hell are you going to make an honest woman out of Elain? Or, are you gonna knock her up, too?”

Azriel groaned, covering his face. “Nesta’s not even been pregnant a week and Elain is asking when I want to have babies.”

“Elain would be a great mom,” Cassian countered.

“True,” Azriel agreed, “but I'm okay with waiting. For a while. A long time. Years.”

Cassian chuckled. “Years?”

“I haven’t even asked her to marry me yet,” Azriel said, as if that answered everything.

“But you’re going to,” Cassian said, and before Azriel could respond, he went on, “And if you don’t, I’m asking for you, because she’s a peach.”

Azriel gave him a rare, full-fledged grin. “She’s perfect.” 

“So, you’re asking soon, then?” Cassian asked.

Azriel groaned, once more. “Is this what working with you is going to be like? You constantly butting into my personal life?”

Cassian blinked, then slowly looked over at Azriel. “It’s my job to be the center of your personal life.”

“The center?” Azriel asked, brows raised.

“Obviously,” Cassian said. “There’s Elain, and me, and Rhys. We are the center of your world, so I must know what’s going on with the other two involved, obviously.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Azriel said, shaking his head, but he was still smiling, so Cassian figured he was doing his job well.

He glanced at his watch. “Speaking of my pregnant girlfriend, it’s lunchtime, I’m starving and she’s literally a gourmet chef. So let’s go.”

Azriel laughed. “Alright, I’ll drive. You’re not supposed to and you know it.”

Cass didn’t deny it.

When they pulled up in front of the house, Nesta was on the front porch, standing on a ladder and watering a plant hanging from the ceiling. Cassian was instantly out of the cab. “Babe, be careful.”

“I swear to the Cauldron, if you spend the next seven months telling me to be careful, I’m going to lose my shit.”

“And what does that entail?” Cassian asked. “Losing your shit?”

“Kicking you in the ass,” Nesta said, “Obviously.” 

Cassian scoffed. “And you would do that? To someone who's just been shot?”

Nesta rolled her eyes then looked to Azriel. “Can you control him?”

“That’s your job now,” Azriel said.

“Can’t argue with that,” she sighed, climbing down the ladder. “You guys hungry? Lunch is going to be ready soon.”

Cass winked at Az and said, “We could eat. Anything we can work on for you while you’re cooking?”

She turned and looked at him. “Are you trying to trick me into letting you work?”

Cassian raised his good hand in defense. “No, of course not, just offering.”

Nesta rolled her eyes again. “Come on.”

The men followed Nesta in and into the kitchen.

Azriel took a deep breath and groaned. “Smells so good, Nes.”

“Five cheese lasagna, salad and garlic bread.” She said it so matter-of-factly and not like it was a dish that used to be sold at a five-star restaurant.

Azriel whistled. “You made all that for lunch?”

“We eat good around here,” Cassian said, sitting in a chair at the table. 

Nesta chuckled as she pulled the lasagna out of the oven, where it was keeping warm. She continued to take out a few plates and filled them for the three of them.

“No nausea today?” Cassian asked.

Nesta shrugged, cutting up the lasagna. “I was, but then the baby started craving lasagna, so here we are.”

“The baby has good taste,” Azriel muttered.

Cassian was quick to agree.

They sat down and ate. Nesta explained to the guys what she wanted done before the opening and Cass ran through his daily tasks with Az. The three of them knew there would be no issue, but it was good to go ahead and start fresh.

“So later on, when you get to the weird part of your pregnancy,” Azriel began, while Nesta loaded their plates into the dishwasher. “When you have random cravings, are you going to make crazy concoctions or just go straight for the pickles and ice cream?”

She laughed. “I don’t know, but I hope it’s easy. So far, I’ve been craving food from other regions that aren’t so easy to make. I don’t exactly want to have to ask Cassian to make me tarte tatin at three in the morning.”

Cassian was eating his second helping and with his mouth full said, “Me either, cause I have no idea what the hell that is.”

Nesta laughed, looking at him over her shoulder. “How did I end up with you?”

He shrugged, stuffing his mouth full with another bite. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Nesta just shook her head as she explained, “It’s a pastry.”

Cassian blinked, swallowing his food. “I like pastries. I could learn to make a pastry.”

Nesta closed the dishwasher and leaned back against the counter as she looked at Cassian. “The day I see you working in a kitchen is the day that the world ends.”

“Challenge accepted,” he muttered, mouth full of food, once more.

Azriel blinked, shaking his head as he watched Cassian stuff his face. “You really are a slob.”

“Fuck you,” he said, after a drink of water.

Azriel stood, ruffling his hair, and said, “No, thanks, bud. I’m gonna run into town and go pick up my pressure washer. I’m gonna take care of the stables.”

Nesta turned. “Az, no, you don’t have to do-.”

He stopped by her at the counter. “I do. You two have been through enough. Consider it my hazing so this asshole doesn’t do something worse when he’s back in action.” He hooked a thumb back at Cassian.

“Fuck you,” Cass repeated, though this time he was laughing, as he carried his plate to the sink. “I had something planned too.”

Ignoring him, Nesta said, “Thank you, Az. That means so much.”

She hugged him and he said, “That’s what family does, they help each other out. My brother and sister need me. That’s what I’m here to do.” He stepped back and looked at Cass. “I would hug you, but I genuinely don’t know how to do that without hurting you, so…” He shot him finger guns and then he was out the door.

Cass chuckled, shaking his head. “For someone so smart, he’s such a dumbass.”

Nesta laughed. Azriel was the only one of the three of them that she’d remotely remembered. He was an honors student, like she’d been, and they’d shared classes, but likewise to Nesta, Az kept to himself as well. It wasn’t until a drunken night at Rita’s, when Azriel was telling the story of the one time he’d been caught cheating, and Nesta realized it was her test he’d been cheating off of.

An almost sibling like bond was born between them that night and Nesta was glad she was getting to know him better. It let her know that Elain was in good hands.

“Alright,” Cassian sighed, looking at Nesta. “What can I do?”

“Relax,” Nesta ordered.

“I don’t want to relax,” he shot back. “I want to feel useful. Make me feel useful.”

“Be useful while relaxing,” she said, leaving the kitchen.

He followed close behind. “Babe, I need a job. Okay? Any job will do.”

“You’ve only been resting for a day,” Nesta said, laughing, making her way back out to the front porch.

“My pain meds work great,” he argued. “Let me help. Please.”

“You’re not going to give up, are you?” she asked, looking at her line up of hanging plants.

“No. I’m going to annoy the shit out of you, so you may as well let me help,” he said, staring her down.

She turned to meet his gaze, then rolled her eyes. “Fine. Hand me plants.”

Cassian blinked. “That’s my job? Handing you plants?”

“I’m going up on the ladder and it will help if you hand them to me,” Nesta shot back, arms crossed. “Or, you can go back to relaxing.”

Cassian took a deep breath. “Handing you plants, it is.”

One after one, Cassian picked the plants up and handed them to her, and she packed each into soil.

“So,” he began, doing his best not to stare at her ass. “I know you never thought you’d be in this situation, but are there any names you like?”

“Any names?” she repeated, making sure the plant was perfect before climbing back down the ladder and moving it to the next spot.

Cassian snorted. “For the baby.”

Nesta thought about it for a moment as she climbed up the ladder, once more. “I have a list.”

“A long list?” Cassian asked, handing her another hanging plant pot.

“A decent list,” she said, chuckling, taking the plant from him and hanging it up from the hook. She asked for the watering can.

“What’s your number one name?” he asked. “If it’s a boy.”

“I’ve always loved the name Jameson,” she said, watering the plant and climbing back down.

“Jameson,” Cassian mused. “I like Jameson.”

Nesta wrapped her arms around Cassian’s waist. “What about you? Any family names?”

His eyes dimmed slightly. “I don’t have anyone I would name him after.”

Nesta breathed, “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry, I- shit, I’m sorry.”

He smiled and kissed her. “I promise it’s fine. I actually do have one name I like though.”

“Yeah?” She asked. “What’s that?”

He brushed her hair back and said, “Isaac.” Nesta’s eyes welled up with tears. “Is that okay?”

She nodded, closing her eyes and carefully resting her head on his chest. “Isaac Jameson Nazari.”

Cassian blinked. “You… You want to give him my last name?”

“Of course,” Nesta said, “You’re his father.”

“I just…” Cassian began, but his words fell short. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

Nesta smiled, her hand resting softly against his cheek as she said, “We’re going to be a family, right?”

“Yes,” Cassian breathed.

“Then this baby, no matter it’s gender, or it’s name, will be a Nazari,” she whispered.

Cassian took a deep breath. “If you make me cry, I won’t feel bad about kicking your ass.”

She laughed and leaned up on her toes and kissed him softly. “I love you, more than I can explain.”

“I love you, too.” Cass wrapped his good arm around her waist and tried to lift her to set her on the porch railing. It was way more convenient to kiss her when her lips were at his level.

“No, no, no.” Nesta pushed against him. “Don’t you dare.”

“It’s fine, you’re light, babe.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I can lift you with one arm or two.”

A car door slammed and Rhys said, “Didn’t the doctor tell you two no exciting activities yet?”

Cassian smirked and said, “Sorry, man, she just can’t keep her hands off of me.”

“Oh, shut up,” she laughed, shoving him lightly and moving the ladder down. This time, she carried the carton of small plants up with her.

Rhys made his way up the steps, still in his scrubs. “Cass, really, dude, what the hell are you doing out of bed?”

He shrugged. “I’m taking it easy.”

“Taking it easy means playing Call of Duty from your bed until I say so.” Rhys was using his doctor voice, which meant he was serious. “Seriously, this is your heart we’re talking about here. You’re lucky to be alive. Do you know how easy it is to tweak something just wrong and pop a stitch, especially this early in the healing process?”

Cassian looked to Nesta for support, but she was positioning the flowers in her pot, ignoring them. He was on his own. “Uh, no?”

Rhys called over his shoulder. “I’m taking him home.”

“Then take him upstairs.” Nesta didn’t look away as she sprinkled potting soil in. “We’ll be staying here for the foreseeable future.”

Rhys and Cass spoke at the same time. “What?”

“I have a lot of work to do for the opening,” Nesta said, simply. “Which means I’ll be here all the time, anyway. The master bedroom isn’t open for guests, so we’re going to stay in there. That way, I’ll be close all day if you need me.”

“I won’t-.” Cassian began, but he was soon cut off.

“That’s a good idea,” Rhysand said, voice firm. “Seriously, Cass, you have to rest-.”

“Okay, okay, alright,” Cassian said, hating every second of this. 

“Shall I carry you upstairs?” Rhysand asked.

Nesta snorted from where she was on the ladder.

“I’ll go lie on the couch,” Cassian muttered, opening the front door and slumping inside.

It was his worst nightmare: staying still for extended periods of time.

“Get a towel,” Rhys called. “This is going to be gross.”

Nesta was shaking her head. “Please don’t get blood on my brand new furniture.”

Rhys was chuckling as he went inside. “That all depends on how much of a baby he’s about to be.”

It turns out, Cassian was the biggest baby of all.

“That fucking burns, don’t touch me with with it.”

Rhys sighed again. “It’s going to burn, its peroxide. See how this is bubbling? I have to clean it.

“No, I can’t see it,” Cassian bit back. “It’s in my chest and I’m laying on the damn couch.”

Rhysand stopped what he was doing to glare at Cassian. “I’m so fucking close to sedating you, Cass. Be still.”

“I don’t wanna be still.”

“You’re acting like a child,” Rhysand muttered, continuing to clean the wound.

“Does that mean I get a sucker when we’re done?” Cassian asked. Rhysand couldn’t help but laugh. “I’d also accept a glass of whiskey. Which I should’ve had before we started this shit.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’ll be sure to put a nipple on it so you can have your bottle before bed.”

Cassian smirked. “The only nipples I want before bed are-.”

Nesta’s feet could be heard on the porch before she rushed in through the front door, heading for the bathroom, hand clamped over her mouth. The door slammed shut and the sound of violent retching filled the living room.

“And that’s what got you in this situation,” Rhys said, indicating the bathroom. “Don’t move, I need to cover this before you sit up.”

Cassian grumbled and Rhys moved to the door, softly knocking. “You okay, Nes?”

He heard sniffling and she said, “I’m fine. Just need a minute.”

“Want a bottled water?” He asked.

There was a short pause. “Please.”

He passed into the kitchen and returned a second later, water bottle in hand. He jiggled the doorknob, but it was locked. When it opened a few seconds later, Nesta’s hand snuck out, took the bottle from him, then the door was closed, once more.

Rhysand returned to Cassian to cover the newly cleaned wound. 

“Is this a daily occurrence?” Rhysand asked, and he knew he was talking about Nesta, not Cassian’s need for whiskey and hatred of peroxide. 

“Yeah, changes by the hour,” Cassian said. “She was feeling great at lunch.”

Rhysand hummed before stepping back. “There. Done. Now, I’m coming back tomorrow at this time, and if you’re not relaxing, I’m going to kick your ass. Got it?”

Cassian rolled his eyes but didn’t protest. Nesta opened the bathroom door, then, her eyes red and misty. Rhysand excused himself to the kitchen to wash his hands.

Nesta groaned, sitting on the edge of the couch next to where Cassian was lying. He rubbed her back, gently. “Feel better?”

“No,” she moaned, lying her head on the arm of the couch. “And I don’t think I’ll be eating lasagna for a while.”

Cass sat up. Without his arm in the sling, he definitely felt the pressure in his chest and shoulder, but he could actually do things for himself. He crouched in front of her and took both of her hands in his face. “Can I do anything?”

She shook her head, and her face scrunched up. He could tell she was trying her hardest not to start crying again.

“Why don’t you go lay down for a few minutes, sweetheart?” He asked, brushing her hair behind her ear.

She protested. “I can’t, I have so much to do-.”

“And a thirty minute nap won’t be the make or break on whether or not it all gets done,” Cassian said, wiping away the tear that slipped down her cheek. “You’re just going to burn yourself out and that’s no good for you or the baby.”

She sighed, but nodded. “Just for a little bit.”

He kissed her forehead and stood, helping her to her feet. She headed up the stairs and Cass sat back on the couch.

Rhys came back in the room. “Make sure you wear that sling.”

Cassian chuckled. “No promises, but I’ll try my absolute hardest.” 

Rhysand stared at him for a minute before saying, “Liar.”

Then he was gone, after bringing Cassian his promised glass of whiskey.

He debated on hauling himself up the stairs after Nesta, but he figured that would only earn him a scolding, so he remained where he was, sipping on his glass of whiskey.

Two minutes went by before he was about ready to lose his shit.

He begrudgingly put the sling back on and got up, making a lap or two around the house. He needed something to do, anything, or he was going to do something that would get him trouble. Granted everything got him in trouble these days.

His phone began to buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out, seeing a repeating alarm going off.

Take your meds!

It was punctuated by a kiss emoji and Cassian sighed. That woman was too good to him.

He lumbered down to the house, finding Beau snoozing on the couch. “You seem to be enjoying our time off, huh?” He gave the dog a scratch behind the ears and made his way back to the bedroom.

He retrieved the black duffle he’d stashed under the bed and began stuffing clothes and everything else he’d need up at the main house in it. He popped one of the pills in his mouth, chasing it with a swig from the bottled water on the nightstand and tossed the pills into his bag.

He debated on packing some of Nesta’s things, but knew he’d likely grab the wrong things and decided to let her pack on her own.own.

With the bag slung over his shoulder, Cassian, Beau at his side, trailed back up to the main house.

He wanted to do something special for Nesta. She had to be overly stressed, newly pregnant, opening a B&B, her boyfriend getting shot.

With a sigh, he pulled open the back door of the main house and dropped his bag before pulling out his phone and dialing Azriel’s number.

He answered on the first ring. “Hello?”

“Whatcha doing?” Cassian asked.

Azriel huffed a laugh. “Bored?”

“I need to go into town and was hoping you could drive me,” he said. “Or, I could drive myself-“

“Let me finish shoveling this shit and I’ll be there,” Azriel promised. “If you get behind the wheel Nesta would never forgive me.”

Az hung up and Cassian sighed. “Sick of being treated like a misbehaving teenager.”

Thirty minutes later, Azriel’s truck pulled up behind the house. When he came inside, he found Cassian balancing dishes, condiments, silverware, cups and other things from the kitchen cabinets and drawers in a tower. Cassian glanced up. “Thank the Cauldron, lets go.”

He stood and headed for the door. Azriel hesitated. “Shouldn’t you put all that away?”

He glanced back at his creation and waved it off. “Nah, Nesta’s reaction will be funnier.”

Azriel just shook his head. “You knock her up, get shot, and now you want to give the woman a heart attack?”

“She’ll laugh,” Cassian protested, stepping out of the back door. “Eventually.”

Azriel hesitated for another second before following his friend.

They hauled themselves into the truck and pulled out onto the street, toward town.

“Where am I driving you?” Azriel asked, one arm hanging out the window.

“Flower shop,” Cassian said. “Jewelry shop.”

Azriel looked at him with a lifted brow. 

“For a necklace or something,” Cassian clarified. “Something to wear to the opening celebration.”

“You sure you’re not making an honest woman out of her?” He asked, keeping an eye on the road.

He’d thought about it, but he knew what her answer would be. He also knew that he didn’t want to ask her just because she was having his baby. He loved her. He wanted to marry her. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but he wanted to make sure she knew he was asking her for the right reason, not the obvious one.

“Not yet.” He could have left it at that, but he knew Az would have continued to ask questions. “You know I like to do things out of order.”

Azriel chuckled and said, “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“Sex, then first date, then knocked her up….but, marriage? That’s a bit down the road,” Cassian said.

Azriel grinned. ���Fair enough.”

He pulled up on the curb in the little downtown strip and Cassian got out, heading straight to the florist shop. He picked out a giant bouquet of yellow roses and a vase that Cassian thought was fancy enough before putting it in the truck, and walking across the street, into the jewelry store.

A little old lady stood behind the counter and smiled brightly as Cassian entered. “Well, hello young man, how can I help you?”

“I’m looking for a necklace,” Cassian said, then added, “A nice one.” 

The sweet little old lady chuckled and nodded, slowly walking to the opposite side of the counter she was standing behind. “Well, let’s take a look, then.”

She brought him over to a case that was filled with the most gorgeous necklaces imaginable. There were shining stones of every color glinting in the light, some with long, heavy chains, some that were fitted closer to the neck. 

They were beautiful, yes, but they were so...ostentatious. He laughed at himself for even thinking of the word, knowing he’d picked it up from one of the SAT word search books Nesta had left at his cabin. And these necklaces were exactly that. They were too much.

He spied a price tag that had come out from behind the fabric covered stand it hung on and Cassian used another one of Nesta’s SAT words.

That was an egregious number of zeros.

“I think, uh…” Cassian scratched at the back of his neck and sighed. “Look, ma’am-.”

“My name is Miriam,” she said, interrupting him. “None of that, ma’am business. Makes me feel old.”

He chuckled, but smiled, warmly. “Look, Miss Miriam, I’ll be completely honest with you. I’m wanting to get a present for my girlfriend. It’s been a rough couple weeks and I’d like to cheer her up. But I don’t exactly have a lot of money, I’m a ranch hand and I’m technically out of work, thanks to my injury.”

Her kind eyes were worried as she said, “Oh no, what happened?”

He laughed and said, “To my shoulder or why has it been a rough few weeks?”

“Well, both.” Her answer was blunt, but her tone caught Cass off guard.

Her concern seemed genuine, but he chuckled and said, “It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time.” She smiled, warmly.

Cassian sighed. “She’s opening up a bed and breakfast she inherited from her father in a few weeks. If that wasn’t stressful enough, I just got shot by her sister’s psychotic ex at her wedding to my best friend and then we found out she’s pregnant when she passed out while I was in surgery. Now, one of my other best friends has had to quit his job to come be the ranch hand on said B&B, where I work, so yes, technically, she is my boss, to run the ranch in my place. All the while, she’s having the worst morning sickness and we were told she would never conceive, so we’re a little overwhelmed by all of this.”

Miriam blinked, speechless. “Oh, my… That was quite a long story.”

Cassian sucked on his teeth and rocked back on his heels. “Yep.”

Miriam asked, “What’s her name?”

“Nesta.” He even loves the way her name sounded from his own mouth.

She turned and was heading back behind the counter she’d first been behind when he arrived. “And your Nesta, is she more of a sweet, kind spirit or a firey lady in charge?”

He followed, and thought on the question, deciding to answer honestly. “She’s both.”

She lifted a small, locked case onto the glass top. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

She unlocked the box and opened the top.

A simple, elegant strand of pearls sat inside the velvet lining, and a lone pear-shaped diamond hung from the center. It was the single most beautiful piece of jewelry he’d ever seen.

He said, “Miriam, it’s beautiful, but I can’t afford-.”

“You’ll take it, and you won’t pay me a dime. It’s my gift to you, to give to her.”

Cassian forgot how to speak.

He forgot what the English language was.

He was actually in a coma from the gunshot and was having some sort of fever dream.

Those were the only reasons he could think of that a complete stranger would have just said that to him.

“I- Excuse me?”

She gently closed the lid and locked it again, placing the key on top and slid it across to him. “Before you try to tell me no, I need to tell you something.” She pauses and Cassian said nothing, giving her the chance. She smiled softly. “This jewelry store is all that I have left. My husband died just a few years ago. Our friends have all passed and it’s just me now. My husband and I never had the opportunity to have children, so our legacy will not live on. And I have no one to pass the things I love down to.”

Cassian could see her eyes getting misty, but he wouldn’t dare interrupt her.

“This necklace was a gift from Drakon when he returned from the war. I’ve held onto it for years, even as I’ve begun to give things away to strangers and to the missions. But I could never bring myself to sell my necklace. What price could I put on something that meant so much to me? So I want you to take this. Not only as a gift to Nesta, but as a gift to me. Pass this on to your baby, please.”

Cassian cleared his throat as his vision blurred. “I, uh, thank you.” A small laugh bubbled out of his mouth. “Truly. Thank you. I wish there was a word greater than thank you, but that’s all I can think of.”

Miriam laughed, quietly, and reached across the counter to pat his hand. “You’re so very welcome. Now, take that home to your girlfriend and have a damn happy life.”

Cassian grinned as he nodded, slowly. “Yes, ma’am.” 

After telling her thank you, once more, and saying goodbye at least a dozen times, Cassian took the necklace back across the street and into the truck, where Azriel was waiting, sipping on lemonade.

He looked over at Cassian and blinked. “Are you crying?”

“No,” Cassian said, although he was pretty sure he was.

“Lair,” Azriel said. “You gonna let me see what you picked.”

Cassian looked down at the box, then unlocked it, and opened it up. 

Azriel blinked, eyes going wide in surprise. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” Cassian said, slowly. 

Azriel opened his mouth, then shut it, then said, again, “Holy shit.”

“She just gave it to me,” Cassian said.

Azriel looked up at him as if he had lost his mind. 

“I’m serious,” Cassian said, laughing quietly. “I still can’t believe it. It’s a long story.”

“Well,” Azriel said, starting up the truck. “You’re going to make us all look bad, Rhys and I.”

“That’s the plan,” Cassian grinned, then looked back down at the necklace with a soft smile, reeling in how lucky and blessed he was.

But then he got a text. What the fuck have you done in my kitchen and where the hell are you?

He cleared his throat. “Okay, time to get home, Nesta didn’t think my kitchen installation was funny.”

Azriel started laughing and said, “Oh, no, I’m gonna take the back roads.”

Cassian looked over at his friend. “Uh, no, you’re gonna haul ass home.”

“Uh, no, I’m going to slowly drive you home, then go home to Elain,” Azriel said, grinning uncontrollably.

“I hate you,” Cassian said, quietly.

Azriel shrugged. “I suggested you take it all down before we left.” 

“I still think it’s pretty funny,” Cassian said, trying to keep his voice light.

“Apparently you’re the only one,” Azriel said, but he was still grinning.

~~~~~

On my way home. Don’t ruin my masterpiece.

Nesta read the text with a scowl.

A second one came in. I’m with Az. Don’t worry.

It didn’t ease her anxiety. She once again stared at the “masterpiece” he left in the kitchen.

She was in love with an overgrown child.

With no hesitation, she began unstacking her dishes, spices, and other kitchen utensils. She was bumping the silverware drawer closed with a hip when Cassian’s boots began thumping up the front steps. She leaned against the island and waited for him to make his appearance.

When he did, carrying the biggest bouquet of yellow roses she’d ever seen, she melted. “What did you- Where did- Cassian…”

He set the vase on the counter, the heavy thus indicating it was as heavy as it seemed. “I wanted to do something to make you smile.”

And he’d succeeded, the grin on her face bright enough to blind him. Though the smile faltered when she saw the velvety box still in his hand. 

“And…” he continued, holding out the box.

Nesta just stared at it. “Cass..”

“Just take it,” he said, eyes bright.

“It’s too much,” she whispered.

Cassian chuckled. “You haven’t even opened it yet.”

She knew his budget, knew what he typically spent on things, and anything that came in a large, beautiful velvet box had to be highly out of his price range.

“Please,” he asked, when she had yet to take it.

Her fingers closed around the box and when she tried to open it, she found that it wouldn’t budge. “This better not be an elaborate plan to make me feel weak so I’ll ask you to do things for me.”

Cassian began to laugh and he took the box from her setting it down on the counter. He wrapped his good arm around her waist and pulled her against him, softly kissing her. “No, but that does sound like something I’d do.”

He pressed another kiss to her forehead and fished a small silver key from his pocket.

Nesta’s eyes widened as she saw that whatever was inside needed to be locked up and she decided then and there that whatever was in the box was extravagantly too much.

He unlocked the box and lifted the lid.

Nesta gasped, her body going still as she eyed the elaborate pearl necklace.

“Cassian,” she breathed, at least she thought she did, if words hadn’t completely escaped her.

“Do you like it?” He asked.

If he wasn’t injured she would slap him. Yes, she loved it, but it was way too much.

Way too much.

“I love it, Cass, but-.”

“No,” he interrupted. “Don’t protest. It’s taken care of. It’s done, and you’re keeping it.”

She opened her mouth to do just that, but he said, “I’ll explain later, I promise. It’s a gift, Nes, for you, for our daughter one day, or for our son to give to his wife. That was the condition given to me, and I intend to uphold it, but that can only happen if you agree to take it.” He kissed her again and breathed, “Please.”

She wasn’t sure if it was the hormones or the beauty of the situation, maybe it was a little bit of both, but she started to sob. Cassian tensed, surely thinking he had done something wrong, but it was quite the opposite. She had fully intended to yell at him for making such a mess in her kitchen, but instead, he had shown up with the most beautiful gift she had ever gotten. 

“Thank you,” she managed to get out.

Cassian laughed, breathlessly, as he took Nesta into his arms, his good arm wrapping around her shoulder. “I assume these are happy tears, then?  Because if not, I feel like a real jackass.”

She nodded, unable to speak as she cried into his chest.

He tipped her chin up so he could look into her eyes. “I was hoping your nap helped, but now that you’re crying, I’m not so sure.”

She sniffled, taking a second to compose herself. “No, it helped. I needed it. I’m just… overwhelmed. Cass, this is amazing. I love you so much.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

She looked up into his eyes, completely amazed by the complex man before her. She would never understand him, the same man that built a tower out of utensils in her kitchen while also being the same man that brought her flowers and the most beautiful necklace she had ever seen.

He was incredible.

Indescribable.

All consuming.

And she was so madly, completely in love with him.

Cassian Nazari.

Her child’s father.

Her one true love.

She prayed, hoped, begged that there would never be a day of her life that went by that didn’t have him in it. 

[jasntodds]

Petrichor [12]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 12,719

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, blood, violence, canon violence, manipulation, gunshot wounds, mentions of drug use, drug use, reader is fed the fuck up, description of withdrawal (kind of??)

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: I really do just love angst so much lmao You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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The next day Jason is with Crane. Jason is still reeling from last night. Dick knows pretty much everything now and that wasn’t a part of the plan. Jason thinks it’s only a matter of time before Dick shows back up and destroys the entire thing. It’s only a matter of time before Dick ruins everything all over again. And he thinks about you and how mad and worried you were. It’s all growing a bit too heavy for him, even with the drug. But, he pushes Crane anyway.

The sooner they get this plan in action, the better. The sooner Jason can take care of Dick, the better. But, Crane isn’t having any of it. Crane wants to go through with his plan but he’s also not telling Jason a single thing about it. It’s like Jason is just a piece in his game, a pawn. Doing all of the bidding and only knowing what’s going on when he actually needs to in order to do Crane's bidding. But, Jason shakes that thought off because Crane cares about him. Crane wouldn’t be just using him. Right?

“I met that girl of yours.” Crane states, getting tired of Jason’s pestering about going after Dick.

“I heard.” Jason quips, his voice snippy and harsh.

“She is a handful, isn’t she?”

Jason knows what he’s doing and he won’t. He can be as high as Crane wants him to be but he still has a line. And that line is you. It is always you. Anyone but you.

“I can handle her.” Jason states.

“Can you? You can fight better than her. You've had the training. But, like Dick Grayson, she walked away from last night.” Crane lets out a wistful sigh. “And she threatened to kill me.” Crane looks to be hurt as the words leave his lips. Jason knows better than to think someone threatening Crane's life would hurt his feelings. “Doesn’t it bother you that her and Bruce didn’t kill the Joker for you?” Crane asks and Jason’s eyes land on the floor. “I mean,” Crane lets out another sigh. “That maniac killed you and they couldn’t be bothered to kill him for you. Sam is at least a killer now but not for you. I, though, I brought you back.” Crane gives Jason a sinister smile as he places a hand on his shoulder.

Jason hates it because Crane makes a point. Bruce couldn’t even bend his morals for him. Bruce said he was his son and he took him in, he let him be Robin. Bruce was supposed to protect him and everyone else. But, then he couldn’t even kill the Joker. He’s not asking him to kill Two-face or The Riddler or even Crane, but he should have killed the Joker for him. That’s the part that hurts. And you turn around and starts taking out lowlives but you didn’t even hit the Joker first. Not even for him and you've been wanting his blood on your hands since your mom died. But, somehow, that wasn’t enough for even you. Jason, though, does know someone killed him. And he knows what you said about what him dying did to you. He thinks that person just beat you to it. Bruce though, even Dick. Dick could have killed him, too and he didn’t. No one that claims to care about him at all killed the Joker for him and none of you brought him back. Jonathan Crane brought him back from the dead. Not the people who care bout him.

“This isn’t about her. It’s about Dick.” Jason shakes his head because you're still the line. Despite it all, you're the line he won’t cross.

Jason knows, under the haze of the drug, you would have brought him back from the dead if you knew how. And if it were something you knew he'd want. You would have fought and chewed into fate and the Reaper with nothing but your bare hands just to bring him back. You would have killed the Joker if someone didn't beat you to it. After everything going on, you're still the one person who hasn't given up on him.

You're the line.

“See, that’s your problem. It’s not just about Dick Grayson. It’s about all of Gotham and your girlfriend is a part of that.”

“Okay.” Jason states, unsure where else he could possibly be going with this.

“She’s going to be a problem, just like that older brother of yours.” Crane warns as he turns back around as he walks into the little office building. “She’ll come after me eventually and then I bet she’ll come after you, with Dick Grayson at her side.”

“She’s not a problem.” Jason defends.

You could have killed him last night. If the first knife would have missed, you would have had a second one already in the air on its way to his jugular. If you want someone dead with a knife, you're more than capable but instead, you didn’t. You've had opportunities to kill him and fight him at full force but you don’t. You aren’t the problem, no matter what Crane says.

“Isn’t she? She still wants you to join their side and turn me in, the person who has helped you the most. Haven’t you thought about her using you? Her fear drove her to you and now she’s lost. She doesn’t know who is without you because she got to try to fix you and distract herself from it. You got her to live in that fancy mansion.” Crane says and Jason, right about now, is pretty glad he left out more about you.

Crane pushes sometimes for more information but Jason deflects and pulls information about anyone else he can. Jason won’t let Crane target you. That’s not how this partnership is going to work. It doesn’t matter. Jason Todd doesn’t make very many promises, but he made a promise to you and he’s not breaking it. You don’t break your promises to him.

“She’s not using me. I can get her to join our side.” Jason states, his voice growing more annoyed.

“Then why haven’t you?”

“That wasn’t part of the plan.” Jason lies.

“If I told you to give her the drug and help us, would you?” Crane asks, his brows slightly furrowing with the question because he’s already pretty sure he knows the answer.

Crane doesn’t know you already took the drug. Crane also doesn’t know the real reason Jason burned down his lab. Jason told Crane he was just covering his tracks after Hank. He knew Dick would be digging deeper and he might find it. That isn’t actually a complete lie, that’s probably what would have happened if Dick didn’t already find it. But, the real reason was that he didn’t want you going back and making more of it and taking it. He feels the comedown and sure, while he’s high or when he’s desperate not to feel that way again, it feels worth it. In those moments it always feels worth it but you were always better with dealing with your shit than he was. He doesn’t want you involved with Crane and he doesn’t want you addicted to the drug. You deserve better.

He’d never give you the drug. He’d never ask you to work alongside Crane.

“Yeah, she would do it. She’s just as fucked up as I was.” Jason lies through his teeth, shifting his weight to his right foot.

Crane nods his head but he met you. You're not scared, not in the way Jason was. He can tell you have her own issues but you're not like Jason when Jason showed up at Arkham. “Maybe she’s not who you thought she was.” Crane sighs. “You should really be focused on taking care of her with Dick, if that’s your goal that is.”

“No.” Jason states firmly. “Not happening.” Jason scoffs. “She’s not a fucking problem. She fights with Dick all the damn time and she fought him last night with me. Nothing to worry about.” Jason shakes his head, still a little confused what that was even about.

“Oh, I’m not worried.” Crane states. “You are. If you don’t take care of her, you’ll always be stuck here. You’ll never be able to get to your full potential because you’re too worried about what she’ll do. Maybe what she’ll think of you. Though, I have to say, she is not pleased with you over that Hawk fellow.”

“And she still fought Dick for me.” Jason urges. “Clearly, she doesn’t have that big of a problem with it.”

“I’m just giving you my advice. You want to be fearless but you’re still scared of what she’ll do and what she thinks of you.” Crane tsks.

“I’m not taking care of her. I want to go after Dick. Look, we know the drug works. I’m exhibit one.” Jason states, trying to deflect from you. It can’t be you.

“You’ll see, my boy.” Crane states.

The night before rings through your head like a migraine you can't quit. You and Dick got back pretty later, or rather early in the morning. Dick was instant he could take care of the gunshot wound on his own. He'd done it before, apparently. So, that left you to your room alone and sleeping didn't come too easy.

You could have had both of them but Dick just wouldn't listen and Jason doesn't listen and you're too damn loyal to him. If it were anyone else, you could have thrown a knife to injure them and you would have had him and then could have gotten Crane. But, it's Jason and you don't want to hurt him even if hurting him could bring him back and end up being for his own good. You just won't take the risk. And it sucks. And then you almost got shot because Jason and Dick can't work out their problems like normal people with an actual conversation. You're stuck in the middle of the two of them and you don't even know how the hell that happened.

And then there's the way Jason looked at you when you asked him to come home.

The drug must have been wearing off because he looked scared and for the life of you, you don't know why he would be so scared to come home. Yes, he killed Hank and that's bad but everyone attacked Gar while possessed and moved on from that. Gar killed people when he was being controlled. Jason is killing people while he's manipulated and drugged. None of them have attempted to do anything about any of the people you've killed. Dick just let Bruce walk right out after killing the Joker. Jason shouldn't be scared to come home and you feel horrible he clearly does. Getting him back just got a lot more difficult it seems and you're starting to second guess where you should stand in all of it.

You walk into the Batcave where you find Gar and Kory, looking to be researching something on the Batcomputer. You're best guess is they're trying to track down Jason. That's the only thing anyone is doing these days anyway.

"There you are!" Gar yells with excitement and relief as he rushes to you.

Gar's been worried. You and Dick went off without an explanation and didn't come back last night. Neither of you could even be bothered to answer a phone or keep the phones on for that matter. Kory hadn't heard anything and neither did Connor. He's relieved to see you're okay, even if you're looking a little out of it.

"Oh, yeah, hey." You let out a sigh as Gar brings you in for a hug.

"Where were you last night?" Kory questions. "And where is Dick?"

"And what happened?" Gar asks as he pulls away.

You furrow your brows, looking between them as your heart misses a beat. "W-what do you mean?"

Have they really not seen Dick? You might not have slept long or well but Dick is still, somehow, usually always awake. At least here like maybe the manor is haunting him in its own way. But, Kory and Gar are watching you expectantly and you worry maybe something went wrong with the whole gunshot thing.

"I don't think it's some coincidence you and Dick disappeared yesterday and stopped answering your phones." Kory crosses her arms.

Your jaw opens and closes a few times. "Uh..I mean...yeah..." You offer a yikes expression, squinting your eye slightly.

"Explain, now." Kory states sternly.

"Well, uh, you see...you haven't seen Dick or...heard from him?" You ask slowly.

"No." Kory grows more annoyed by the second.

"Not since he dropped Dawn off." Gar offers, hoping you get to the point soon.

You suck in a breath as you tug your sleeves over your hands. "Uh, yeah...so Dick got, uh shot. But, he was fine."

"So, you just went to bed?!" Gar asks.

"And you didn't think to come get me? Or any of us?" Kory demands.

"He said he had it and he's been shot before. I wasn't gonna argue with him."

"Since when? You argue with him all the time." Gar shakes his head in disbelief. Of all times you aren't going to argue with Dick, it's when he's shot. He could be bleeding out somewhere.

"Yes, I was not in the mood last night." You defend your stance as regret starts to chew at your stomach.

Kory lets out a groan. "And where did you last see him?"

"In the living room? Before I went to bed." You state but before you start giving up more answers, the one and only finally makes his way into the Batcave. "Oh, thank fuck." You let out a breath of relief.

"What happened!?" Kory asks quickly, immediately rushing over to Dick who's a little unsteady on his feet.

You and Gar watch the two of them and you can't help the grin that comes to your lips. Rachel made jokes about the two of them and said she thought it was weird but they'd be cute together. You get it now. Kory ran to him in the same you would have if it were Jason. Dick is clearly the idiot between the two of them.

You eye Gar. "Bet you ten bucks it'll be Kory to close the deal when she gets tired of waiting for him to get his shit together."

"I'm not gonna bet on that." Gar whispers with a soft grimace.

"Because you'll lose?" You raise, offering him a smirk.

"Yes." Gar chuckles. "I don't know if Dick is capable of having that conversation unprovoked."

You nod, rolling your eyes. "Batboys." You let out a sigh. "Okay, I give Kory a month."

"Four, tops." Gar sticks out his hand and you shake it with a soft laugh before you and Gar follow Kory and Dick to the medbay.

Dick takes off his shirt and reveals a gunshot wound on the upper left side of his chest. You furrow your brows. It looks nasty and his entire chest is covered in blood, most of it dry but some of it still looks fresh. Kory shakes her head, grabbing the supplies to stitch up the wound. Gar and you watch for a few minutes, mostly grimacing at the sight of it.

"Dude, that looks horrible." Gar scrunches his nose.

"Five inches over and we'd be burying another body." Kory says as she starts addressing the wound.

"Dude, seriously?" You huff. "You said you'd take care of that." You roll your eyes. You wonder how he could be so dumb. And reckless. It's not like it's a cut or a scrape. It's a literal gunshot wound close to his heart.

Kory stops what she's doing to look at you, Gar nearly snapping his head at you. Dick just glares at you, looking more annoyed than usual.

"What?" You ask, looking between all of them with wide eyes. "What'd I do now?"

"Let him go to bed with a gunshot wound and not tell anyone." Gar mutters under his breath, making you snap your entire attention on him. That's uncharacteristic.

"I'm not gonna force someone to let me help clean up their wounds." You mutter right back, earning a glare of disbelief from Gar. "Okay, unless it's Jaon or you." You snip back. "Sorry." Your eyes widen, looking between the three of them.

Gar keeps his stare on you. You're supposed to be friends and you're not looping him to anything anymore. You and Dick go off to fuck knows where and Dick almost gets killed. They're trying to find Jason since he went dark and you two can't be bothered to work as a team with the team. It's ridiculous. You're supposed to be a family.

"Explain." Kory warms, looking between you and Dick.

"It's nothing." Dick states, watching Kory stitch the wound.

"Nothing?!" Kory yells. "You two went off last night without a word! We deserve an explanation."

Dick pauses and you're not about to be on Kory's bad side. If Dick wants to piss Kory off, that's all on him. You do not want to do that. Kory is usually very nice but you have a feeling being on her bad side could get ugly. Plus, it's Kory.

"Jason's working with Jonathan Crane so we kidnapped him and took him to the cabin to lure Jason there. Then Jason and Dick started fighting and I helped. And then a helicopter came and Dick got shot." You explain simply.

The room falls silent for a few seconds as everyone looks between you and Dick. Kory wants to know why everyone who manages to get involved with Bruce Wayne ends up being some of the most reckless people she's ever encountered. Gar is piecing together everything you've told him and now he's even more frustrated. You and Dick went after Scarecrow and decided you could take him on and Jason on your own without any issues. You both didn't even have a backup plan. And Gar is realizing you not only took Jason's drug, but if it's Scarecrow, it was probably something he designed. You took a drug Scarecrow designed and knew that. Then neglected to tell everyone that piece of information.

You both could have died last night and everyone is supposed to just be normal about that. After everything.

"Wow, thanks." Dick quips.

"I'm not gonna disobey Kory. That's all you." You shake your head as you cross your arms over your chest but you can feel Gar's eyes still boring into you.

"And whose side were you even on last night, by the way?" Dick questions.

"You two morons almost fucking shot me!" You yell. "I was on your side. Hello? Do you not remember that and then you got the first swing on him. I was with you guys until you two almost shot me."

"That was Jason." Dick argues. "He pulled the trigger, not me."

"Because you grabbed his arm! It was aimed at you originally, not me." You let out a scoff.

"Enough." Kory warns, growing tired of the back and forth. The specifics of the fight last night don't matter right now when she's trying to fix a bullet wound that could have been fatal. She is so sick of losing people. "Barbara's responsible for this?" Kory asks.

"One of her snipers is, yeah." Dick answers.

"On her orders, I'm sure." Kory states. "Maybe I should go and have a word with her."

"I think there's been enough bloodshed for today." Gar adds in. "That was way too close, man." Gar's voice is soft but drenched in worry.

"I almost had him." Dick defends.

"No, I had him." You protest. "I had a knife ready to go. He never would have done it. I could have gotten him just fine but then you had to take the damn gun and I almost got shot." You pause for a second and if Dick would have just trusted you, maybe you really could have gotten him back. "We almost had him."

"Neither of you are listening!" Kory yells, looking between the two of you. "You scared us. Going out on your own, getting shot. It's not okay."

"I didn't want to put you guys at risk." Dick says. "She was here when I got the call. She's the only one that ever got through to Jason before. That's the only reason she went." Dick states calmly while Gar looks back at you as if waiting for you to explain why you didn't at least tell him.

"I'm not dragging you into it." You look to Gar as you shrug your shoulders.

"Oh, bullshit, guys." Gar spits and he's sick of this.

"Excuse me?" Dick questions.

"Dude, Hank blew up!" Gar yells. "Dawn left us forever, and Jason went dark. You're killing people!" Gar looks at you. "This family is dying and you two go out alone and Dick gets shot?" Gar yells before he starts growling lowly, his entire face turning green while his teeth turn into fangs. "Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouths!?"

"Gar?" You question slowly as your eyes grow wide. You've never seen him this upset before.

"Gar!" Kory yells, trying to snap him out of it.

"Hey." You stand in front of him, putting your hands on his cheeks. "Hello?"

His eyes land on yours, refocusing his attention and the fire in his bones starts to calm. The green fades from his face as his fangs start to retract. He's so upset and hurt and terrified for the lives of the people he cares about most, he didn't even realize he was starting to transform and Gar doesn't lose control.

"What?" Gar asks, his eyes scanning your face.

"Take ten." Kory states and she also feels like they're starting to lose everyone.

"Come on." You offer your hand to him as you turn around to walk away. Gar joins his hand with yours. "Don't do anything fucking insane without looping me in." You look over your shoulder at Dick, sending him a glare before you turn back around. "You were turning green." You whisper to Gar as you walk hand-in-hand across the Batcave.

"Because you guys could have died last night! I'm sick of losing this family!" His voice is panicked this time.

Gar might wear his emotions on his sleeve, but he is also very good at controlling his emotions. He never just loses control but he is today and it has you feeling even more guilty than you already were. Dick has Kory and Babs. You have Gar and Molly. Conner didn't really know Hank and he doesn't really know Jason. Gar, though, he knew Hank and was friends with Hank. Jason is his best friend and yet everyone has someone besides him. Everything has been a mess and Gar is the one left trying to fix everyone and help everyone but who helps him?

"Come on." You tug him along with you until you reach the living room. You let go of his hand and take a seat on the couch. "Yell at me for it. Go for it. You're scared and mad at us, fine. I get it. So, yell about it. I'm not gonna tell you to take ten. Turn green, turn into a tiger, go for it." You say with ease while Gar just stands in front of you, growing confused.

"What...? But I...I don't know..."

"Look, if you need to yell, do it. I deserve it and Dick does, too. You let me bitch to you for months. So, yell about how you're scared. I'm not gonna be hurt or mad. If it'll make you feel even a little bit better, do it. You take care of all of us, all the time. Take care of you." You offer and it's true. If he needs to yell about it, he should. You're not worried about him turning into a tiger. Gar deserves to let everything off of his chest. He always lets everyone else vent to him.

Gar's eyes narrow slightly. "This feels like a trick."

"It's not. I'd yell at Jason sometimes. He just kind of let me and then he'd yell at me. It was never that we were really yelling at each other, but just yelling. Because we were scared or mad. It usually helped. So, go for it." You shrug softly. "I do deserve it though so ya know."

Gar lets out a breath and decides he'll take the opportunity. He is just scared for all of you. Losing Donna was really hard. And losing Jason was worse. He was close with Json and that sucks. And now he's back and he's dark, working with a maniac. Hank is gone, there's no getting him back. Gar just can't lose more people and he's pissed that you and Dick don't seem to care how any of them feel about it. You're supposed to look out for each other to make sure you don't get blown up or beaten to death but Dick and you just go off on your own without a word.

"I'm just mad at you guys and I'm scared you're gonna go out there and get yourselves killed." Gar groans. "We had no idea where you guys went. You guys left and didn't loop us in. We're supposed to be a team and I know you're between teams but we're at least supposed to be friends! Jason is my friend, too! I want to be on his side. But you guys aren't telling us anything! I don't want to lose any more people."

You're tired of everything and you're tired of keeping secrets especially when Gar is looking at you desperate for answers. He says you're between teams right now but what if you don't want to be anymore? Jason is going to do whatever Crane is putting him up to and Dick is going to off and do his own thing anyway. Nothing you're doing has been working anyway. Maybe you're tired of being the one in the middle.

"The call about Crane came in and we left. I was with Dick and I don't think he would have looped me in if I wasn't already there. You're my friend. You're right. And that's why I didn't tell you." You state. "It's just...I wanted to protect you, I guess. I, uh, I've been dodging Molly's calls and texts, too because of it. I'm with you, I'm sick of losing people. So, I didn't tell you."

"Okay and I get that but this is what we do." Gar urges. "We help each other and we help other people even when it's dangerous. It's dangerous but you and Dick still go out there alone. At least if we're all working as a team, we have a better shot of making it home."

You chew the inside of your cheek and you think your heart might stop beating soon. "I fought him, ya know? And I know what that was like because even though I was high, I'm sober now and I remember every detail. And it fucking sucks that happened. I didn't want that to happen to you. I don't want him to have a bigger reason to target you." You shake your head and you shrug slowly and weakly. "He's not your fight, Gar."

"Yeah, he is." Gar urges. "Why wouldn't he be? He's my best friend."

"Because I owe it to him." You nearly yell. "I owe it to him to fucking save him because he saved me more than once and I never fucking told him. I missed it. I will never forgive myself for it. I have to save him this time."

"You don't have to do it alone." Gar's voice nearly breaks and he desperately wishes that's something you would understand. You never have to do this stuff alone. That's part of being a team and a family. "He's our friend. He's our family. We weren't here and that sucks! But he's not just yours to save. What if you can't do it alone?" Gar asks. "You're up against a freaky drug, Jason who I don't think you could really fight if you had to, and Scarecrow!"

"I know." You nod your head. "I don't know, okay? I know I can't do it alone. I'm sorry. I really am." You suck in a breath. And you're realizing you do a lot of things alone. It's as if it's easier to do them alone and only disappoint yourself, risk your own life than drag other people in the middle of it. "Really, I'm sorry. I was...scared if I tell you then you have to tell Dick and what if that got Jason killed, ya know? I don't know. I'm sorry though."

"You can tell me." Gar says. "I know you're worried about him but you can tell me and I won't tell Dick." Gar stresses. "Not if there's a risk it'll get Jason killed again."

"I know." You nod. "I'll try harder. I'm really sorry, Gar." You let out a breath. "I'm, uh, I'm gonna stay out of it today and take a breather. Might head to Excellent Gotham later, just so you know." You offer a soft smile.

"It's okay." Gar nods his head and offers a soft smile back. "You're going to be able to do that?"

"Yeah, I think better when I take a step back and I need to find a way to not be in the middle." You let out a soft chuckle. "While not doing it alone. But, if something happens..."

"I'll let you know." Gar's eyes widen. "Thank you." Gar clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. "That did help a little actually."

"Told you." You laugh softly as you get to your feet. "Want some food now? Yelling really works up an appetite."

"Yeah okay." Gar chuckles as you get up. "Oh! I can tell you about Blackfire."

"Blackfire?" You quirk a brow.

"Kory's sister. She was kind of tapping into Kory's head and she attacked me yesterday so we went to find Blackfire. Some scientist was holding her captive." Gar states excitedly.

"Um..." You stutter. "Well, we already have so much in common." You laugh softly. "But yeah, no, please explain literally all of that." You say eagerly as the two of you make your way to the kitchen.

Jason and Crane are standing in the washing area of an operating room, watching as the surgeon and the nurses prep a kid for something. Jason isn't sure why Crane made him come here. He said he wanted to show Jason something. It's important he understands what's going on and Jason's part in all of this. If Jason were being honest, he thinks Crane is full of shit this time and he just wants to get out of here. This feels wrong.

Then it gets worse.

A woman comes in holding a sword and starts slicing up the surgeon and nurses. Jason's eyes grow wide as his breathing stops. Blood sprays over the walls and window right in front of Jason. A nurse backs against the window with her hands up and begs for her life only for the woman to slice her, too. This isn't right. Why would Crane do this? They're doctors. They're helping some kid live and Crane has this woman come in....and kill them. She takes something with her before looking at the window and offering Crane a nod. Jason questions if all of that bloodshed was for that one thing. She didn't have to kill them. But, she did.

"You are expendable. If you're not happy here, you are replaceable. Remember what I said." Crane says as he faces Jason and that's when Jason realizes this whole thing might be to help Crane, but the show was a threat.

Crane is withholding the drug from him today. Jason finished the inhaler and then Crane refused to give him more until they came here. He's withholding it on purpose, let Jason's fear kick in just enough to keep him in line and make him desperate. And it's working.

He's scared again.

He's scared he'll end up like the surgeons and nurses. He's scared Crane is the one who's going to turn on him. Red Hood is supposed to be the face of the whole plan. That was the point of creating that alter ego. Crane wants Jason to get rid of you and just do whatever he says, when he says it. He wants him to divert from the original plan while telling him nothing about what's actually going on. He can't do that. That is his line.

Crane can try all he wants but no amount of drugs or manipulation will get him to cross that line. He might believe Crane sometimes about you, maybe he has a point sometimes. But, he won't kill you. You could have killed him at any point but you don't. You could have pushed him off a roof but you didn't. When Jason gets desperate he thinks of that because you're the one that stood on that ledge with him despite your fear of heights. You're the one that talked him down that day no one else and he owes you something for that alone. He won't go after you. He doesn't fucking care what Crane has to say about it, he won't do it.

The more he thinks about it, the more mad he gets. Crane thinks he's expendable, just like Bruce. But he's not. Why does everyone think he's so fucking expendable and replaceable? Why is nothing he does enough? He turned on all of his friends for Crane. He killed Hank for Crane. That's not enough to prove he's not replaceable and expensable? It's infuriating. He'll prove Crane wrong. If Crane wants to get to you, he'll have to go through him first. If Crane wants to wait to distribute the drug, that's a Crane problem, not a Jsaon problem. And he knows exactly what he can do to prove Crane he's not expendable and he can be trusted.

Later that night, you find your way to Excellent Gotham. The other Titans have been busy trying to locate Crane and Jason. You kept yourself busy with a scrapbook page while they did their own thing. It's not really all that nice distancing yourself alone. You figure Excellent Gotham at least provides dinner and you can talk to Tim, someone who doesn't know everything that's going on and doesn't come with the feeling of guilt. If Tim wants to talk about who the Titans are and Batman and Robin, that's fine, too because it's what you always did. Before everything. It'll feel normal anyway. At least Excellent Gotham is a good distraction and lets you take the breather you need. If you're going to be any help, you need the step back. You're too close to it all.

So, you stand at the counter with Tim on the other side as a large smile consumes your face, a take-out counter resting open in front of you.

"Okay, okay, why Bruce Wayne? Like, okay if Dick were Robin, how does that make Bruce Batman?" You question as Tim leans against the counter.

There's a genuine smile splitting your face as you point at him with your fork before going in for another bite. You've been here a few hours, checking in with Gar every so often, a way to try and keep your word to him. And this is helping. You might be in a heated discussion about who everyone is but it feels normal. It doesn't feel heavy anymore. It's just a normal conversation with a friend and it doesn't feel fucking sad. It just feels warm.

You don't remember the last time you felt warm.

"He's rich." Tim scoffs, a grin plastered across his face. "And why else would he let Dick go out there?"

"Unless he doesn't know. Bruce is a busy man. Dick being Robin doesn't mean Bruce is Batman and that's if Dick is Robin." You argue with a laugh. "And that means you'd also be wrong about Jason."

"No, no, I know I'm right about Dick and Jason." Tim pauses, the smiling falling. "Is...is that okay to talk about? Jason?"

"Yeah." You nod with a soft smile. "I, uh, I like talking about him."

"Okay well," Tim picks right back with enthusiasm. You find it amusing how into this he is. Especially since he's right. "He has to be Robin. He has the same fighting style. He walks the same way, how do you explain that?" Tim raises. "And Robin 1.0 and Robin 2.0 share the same height difference as Jason and Dick." Tim states. "If they're the Robins, Bruce has to be Batman."

"Unless!" You yell with a laugh, flinging your fork around. "Dick recruited Jason because they're brothers! Like I said, Bruce is busy. What if Batman is just some guy? Like Kick-Ass. Doesn't have to be some rich guy and maybe he's recruiting kids." You argue and truly, you're only defending Bruce because you think it's funny. And Dick would kill you if you outed fucking Batman.

"Batman can be Batman because he's rich." Tim laughs. "Uh, where has Bruce Wayne been? Where has Batman been? They disappeared the same time!" Tim laughs.

"Bruce is on business! Maybe there's a Justice League thing!" Your laugh reverberates through the restaurant. This feels like home. "How the fuck would I know where Batman is?" You put your fork back in your food. "And that's still assuming Dick is Robin! He's not. Explain Dick having a stick up his ass. Robin is more free-spirited!"

"Sorry to interrupt this very important conversation." Mr. Drake states, walking back to the counter. "But Tim, where is Stephen? Get him on the damn phone and find out where he is. Or you're stuck here all night."

"Shit." Tim mutters, checking his phone to see Stephen's shift started an hour ago. "Okay, hold on." Tim says. "And we'll continue this." Tim laughs as he calls Stephen on FaceTime. "Where are you, man? Your shift started over an hour ago."

"Priorities. My girl's parents are out of town. I'll be there in a second." Stephen says through a grin.

"Seriously? I could have plans." Tim protests.

"What plans?" You snort. "You're here with me arguing about Batman."

"Whatever. Just hurry up." Tim says as he hangs up and three men walk into the restaurant.

Tim is about to start talking all over again with even more enthusiasm and proof but he gets a look at your face, eying the men as they walk further into the restaurant. Maybe you’re just paranoid but they look like they’re up to something. It’s that their walk is steady, determined, but careless. Their eyes don’t land on the menu or Tim or Mr. Drake. They’re pointed at the register. And that’s when you see the reflection of metal sticking out of the last guy’s waistband. He looks to you and then it starts.

The throbbing kicks in like a freight train. It’s an armed robbery and they plan to go out swinging. You’re quick, rushing to Tim as they pull out their guns. Gunfire surrounds and encompasses the restaurant as you tackle Tim to the floor behind one of the counters.

Tim leans against the counter, ducking his head with every echo of a gunshot. His eyes are on you as you take a breath, as if to be debating what you’re going to do. And Tim knows you knew this would happen. You were running to him before they had their guns pulled. And his thoughts are confirmed when you look back to him with fury in your eyes.

It’s been less than five seconds but it gives you enough time to gather yourself. It’s all you need. These people are not going to walk in here and murder the people you care about. They picked the wrong restaurant on the wrong night during one of the worst months of your life.

You lift your hoodie, pulling a knife from the belt around your waist before you pop up from behind the counter.

“Ya fucking missed, assholes!” You yell over at them as the knife leaves your fingers, connecting with one of the guys’ eyes, embedding itself deep into his skull as he drops to the ground.

The throbbing starts again from the side and you duck down just before a shot comes your way. You take another deep breath before grabbing another two knives and throwing one, hitting one of their jugulars. The last one still standing locks eyes with you, his gun pointed right at you. He has this…grin, one you almost swear you’ve seen before but you’ve never seen him before this. His breathing is steady and he actually looks relaxed while you have your arm ready and aimed with a knife, right at him.

His pupils are blown.

And then your heart sinks because Crane is free on the streets and these guys came in here completely fearless. This one finds the whole damn thing amusing. Maybe he’s just high on something else, or maybe you’re right and Jason and Crane have moved to disruption. Excellent Gotham wouldn’t just be a coincidence.

“Give me the money and it’ll be over.” He says so easily you nearly roll your eyes.

“Kiss my ass.” You throw the knife, hitting this one in the arm with the gun.

Then you throw another one, hitting him just below the eye. He drops to the ground in a hard thump, leaving the restaurant a glass and gun-shelled mess. The smell of gun metal seeps into the air while an eery and dense silence consumes the place.

Tim calls your name not ten seconds after the last man drops. There’s panic in his voice, a sense of dread. You rush right over to him where he’s against the food counter now, his dad leaning against the side of it. Blood seeps through Tim’s hands are he tries to hold pressure on the wound. You kneel down, seeing Mr. Drake breathing heavily. Your eyes scan over him, quickly running over the crash course Jason gave you in gunshot wounds once.

“He’s been shot!” Tim yells, desperation in his eyes as he looks to you, silently pleading for help. He knows you're Bluejay. He can only assume you've had some sort of training in this. More than he's had.

You can feel the lump in your throat grow and the spinning of your head. Blood never really bothered you and it didn't with Dick. But, it was mostly dry with him earlier and this, right now, is fresh and active. Your bones feel like they're going to vibrate through your skin and your teeth grind together, trying to push every thought out of your mind that isn't first aid. 

You have to help.

“Okay, move.” You urge as Tim pulls his hands away. Your hands are shakey as you lift Mr. Drake’s shirt, seeing the wound oozing and you think you might prefer knife wounds instead of gaping holes. “It’s gonna take the ambulance ten to fifteen to get here,” You rush out. “So, we–”

“Is that…?” Tim asks, cutting you off as his eyes are on the window. He only even looked up to see if he saw someone for help or Stephen but instead of help, he just saw one person.

Jason Todd.

You look up just in time to catch a glimpse of him before he turns around. This cannot really be happening right now. Jason Todd is supposed to be dead. It was all over Gotham City News. Bruce's newest adoptive son was killed in a freak accident. This is going to be a lot harder to explain to Tim and you want to explode. If he's here, you're right.

Why the fuck would he be here and why the fuck would he target the place you frequent?

“Okay, keep pressure.” You look to the door, seeing Stephen rush in. “Stephen, call an ambulance and grab some towels!” You yell as you get to your feet. “Stay here, hold pressure with the towels. I’ll be right back.” Your words nearly slur together as they come out as fast as your mouth will let them.

You rush outside where you see Jason, his back facing the open windows of the restaurant. You can’t believe this. Of all the things he could do, of all the damn people in Gotham he could target, he really came for you. For your friend and his family. You can’t fucking do it anymore. This is insane. If he wants to go after Dick, fine. Sibling rivalry bullshit taken to an extreme. But this? This is targeting innocent fucking people.

“Jason!” You seethe as you approach him. “What. The. Fuck!?” You scream, nearly vibrating from the anger coursing through your veins.

But then Jason faces you.

The anger washes away as your mouth opens, looking for words. There are dark circles under his eyes, a hollowed expression of the charism that used to radiate off of him. Maybe it’s the dark lighting but you swear the green in his eyes is pale, his skin is pale. He looks like a shell of who he used to be. He’s been acting like it but now…he really looks the part and you’re getting the idea that something really bad is happening.

Jason’s eyes are wide, tired, and exhausted but wide as he sees you come to a dead stop a few feet away from him. Why are you here? You’re not supposed to be here. You should be with Dick and the other Titans. He didn’t see you inside of the restaurant. Not before the gunfire or after. How did he miss you? It can’t be you. He just wanted to show Crane he was right. He wanted to prove he could do this. He chose Excellent Gotham on purpose, a way to show Crane it’s a threat at you without being a real threat. He knows you went to Tim for help. You weren’t supposed to be here.

Jason questions your name, closing the rest of the distance between the two of you.

His hands immediately come to your face for just a second and they send a chill down your spine. His fingers are like icicles and they're clammy, completely different than how they usually are and it breaks your heart. He keeps his right hand on your cheek, while the other hand goes to your waist. His eyes scan you over quickly, desperate to make sure you weren’t hurt in the gunfire. He didn’t take the drug again yet, he was saving it for after. He’s scared. Panicked. Desperate and guilty. You have blood on your hands and on your clothes. Can’t be yours. Not you. 

Please not you.

“Are you hurt?” Jason rushes but his voice is weak and fragile, echoed in pain.

You eye him and you’re stuck between wanting to punch him and wanting to kiss him in hopes to make it all better again. He’s slipping so far away from you and you’re scared how far he’s willing to fall. Crane is doing something to him. He has to because he didn’t look like this last night. He didn’t even seem like he cared this much last night. Right at this exact moment, he feels like the old Jason. And you nearly get sucked right back into his gravitational pull.

“What…” The venom is gone from your voice. “What is he doing to you?” You ask, your hand comes to to his face. Not him. Not again.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jason’s voice breaks.

“You know I’m always here. I was hanging out with Tim. Jason…what the hell is he giving you?” You look him over and you notice him favoring his leg. You haven’t seen him much since he’s been back from the dead but this is the first time since that first day you’re noticing it. You always notice it.

“Are you hurt?” Jason asks again and he can feel his heartbeat in his throat. He wants to spit his own heart right onto the ground in hopes it’ll stop the pain in his chest.

“No. I’m fine. It’s not mine.” You urge, catching him glancing at your free hand. “Jason, what is Crane giving you?”

Jason shakes his head, dropping his other hand to your waist. He misses you. He’s been so damn high all the time, he’s been able to ignore the longing in his chest. The one who always swore was his heart searching for yours. He could ignore it with ease but Crane has been keeping the drug close to his chest and this batch isn’t very good. He can feel it more tonight. It’s wearing off quicker. He can feel the worry for you and the care and the fact he fucking misses you. And the guilt for everything that’s led you both here.

“Same shit.” Jason grits his teeth. “You took it, you know.” He hates the words leaving his lips because they sound bitter and angry but it’s not at you. He just wants you to be okay and he wants to get the fuck out of here.

“No.” You shake your head, your voice soft. “Are you sure it’s the same drug? Jason, you look…is he withholding it from you?” His skin is cold and clammy under your fingers and his hair is flatter than usual.

You’ve seen it, what withdrawal looks like. You saw it on the streets and that’s what Jason looks like. Why would Crane do that? He’s insane and he doesn’t actually give a shit about Jason but Jason has been doing all of his bidding. You figure Jason is here with the drug. That’s why he just stood here while Excellent Gotham was attacked, he probably gave it to them. Surely, that has to be part of the plan. But, if that’s the case, then why does Jason look like he’s been thrown headfirst into withdrawal? And why would Crane be doing this?

“Stay the fuck out of it. I have it. It’s the same shit. It’s fine.” Jason grits his teeth. He wants to break. He wants to lose it for the first time since that first day on the roof with you. It feels like it’s been months since and it’s only been a week. And you look at him with worry and fear and you have always had a way with getting Jason to breathe. But, he can’t afford that right now. Not you. “Please.”

"It's fine?" You spit. "You look terrible, Jason. It's not fucking fine."

"Yeah, it is." Jason removes his hand from your waist and digs in his coat pocket, pulling out a full inhaler. "Fine." He wiggles the inhaler for you to see, the liquid sloshing around in the clear canister.

After all of that, he's going to wave the drug around as if it's fucking easy. He's going to stand here and pretend like it's all fine and well when he almost got you and Tim shot? He's actually lost his damn mind now. If he's going to stick with Crane despite everything, fine. You've stuck by his side since day one all those months ago. Fine. If it's going to be like that, fine because you can't take it anymore. You love him more than anything on this planet but this is not fucking fine. He's not fine and he has got to realize that. 

"Fine!?" You shake your head, eyes bugging out of your head in disbelief. "Get off me." You shove his hand off of you as you take a step back. It's not fine. None of this is fucking fine. He's not fine. That drug isn't fine. Working with Crane isn't fine. Doing what he just did isn't fucking fine. It doesn't matter what his reason is. "You...you just got Tim's dad shot. Do you know that? What have the Drakes ever done to you?" You look at him with disgust. "You could have gotten Tim shot, my friend. You could have gotten me shot!" Your voice cracks as you yell at him, your arm flying out to the side. You might be worried about him but you're not going to let him almost kill your friends because you're worried about him.

"That wasn't the plan!" Jason screams in desperation, his words clawing at the hope for you to believe him. "You went to Tim, didn't you!? I know you suck at figuring out codes! Tim is a genius. I just wanted to scare him!" Jason defends his stance, leaving out Crane wanting Jason to target you. If you knew this was a fake threat, maybe that'd be worse.

"Bullshit! Bull-fucking-shit! You gave them the drug! That's why you're here! You did this! You knew what would happen and you did it anyway!" You bark back. "You just wanted to scare him!? Then do it your damn fucking self, Jason! You just didn't want the blood on your damn hands so I couldn't blame you! But you did this!" You point a finger at him and Jason isn't sure he's seen you so mad and...disappointed.

"You weren't supposed to be here! I didn't think they'd shoot anyone!"

That's not a lie. He didn't think. He just did it. He knew they'd go in there and rob them. Maybe they'd have to close down for a little bit. For safety. He didn't think about anything else. Thanks to the drug Jason claims is helping him and curing him.

You don't fucking get it. It doesn't matter that you weren't supposed to be here. That's a load of shit anyway. You're always here. Tim and his family are innocent, regardless on if Tim helped you or not. He doesn't know anything, not for sure. Jason's reasoning is flawed and it's cruel. It fucking hurts.

"Tim is my fucking friend! I don't care I wasn't supposed to be here! You....fuck." You let out a desperate groan, tilting your head back. At some point, enough is enough and he isn't even taking responsibility for this. You just can't do this anymore. You look back to him, eyes turning glassy. "I was fucking fine with you being a crime lord or whatever, taking out those fucks hurting people. But this?" You point at the restaurant. "These are innocent people! Hank was innocent! Dick is innocent! I can't fucking stand here and watch you kill innocent fucking people! And innocent fucking people that I care about and that care about me!" You say it all so quickly, you barely register what it would mean.

No no no no no. He fucked it all up. Like he always does. He just ruined it all. Everything is gone. Everything is going to shit. It's all messed up. He did all of this. How did he even get here? You can't walk away from him. You always swore you wouldn't. Please, not you, too.

You're all he has left.

"What's that supposed to mean, huh?" Jason asks, jerking his up quickly as he tries to give the question some bite.

You let out a heartbroken laugh that's mixed with a cry as you look to the sky and hope a blackhole will open up just to swallow you whole. You have no choice.

You have thrown him life preserver after life preserver, and all he ever had to do was hold on and you'd reel him back to safety. But, all Jason has done is chew right through them and wonder why he's still drowning. You can't keep trying to save someone who doesn't want to be saved. He was always your lifeline but you were clearly, never his.

"You win, Jason." Your voice is defeated as Jason's brows furrow. The lump in your throat grows so large you can barely get the words out. "You win. I can't do it anymore. I'm done. I can't." You shake your head as a tear falls down your cheek. The words taste like blood-covered glass, killing you with every cut and slice.

If you're always on his side, then what he's doing can't be that bad. If you're always on his side, defending him, why would he ever stop? You've tried everything else to get him home and none of it is enough. And it is killing you, knowing this is it. There is one last option because something's gotta give. Maybe if he hits rock bottom, having no one, maybe it'll turn him around. It's the only thing left to do because begging him doesn't work, loving him doesn't work, fighting him doesn't work, arguing doesn't work. Nothing else works and you hate it because you don't mean it, not even a little bit but you have no other options and you're devasted by what he is right now.

So, you say the one thing you can't take back.

A last-ditch effort, knowing he may never forgive you.

"I'm giving up on you. You get what you always wanted. I can't do it. I have tried and tried, but I can't do it anymore." You give him a tired shrug as you dodge his eyes.

If you see the heartbreak in his eyes, you'll take it back and you can't do that. If Jason always has you on his side, why would he turn things around when he hasn't yet? You could have died two nights in a row. He is actively targeting the Titans. You can't meet his eyes because he is targeting innocent people. It might be under Crane's control but, until he gets clear of him and gets clean, this has to be on Jason. Jason has to be the one to deal with the consequences and you will never forgive yourself for it.

Jason's world stops. Not you. Not another person. Why does he always do this? How did he even get here? You were never supposed to be involved. He should have included you from the start. He almost rips the inhaler from his pocket and hits it, right in front of you, anything to get rid of this pain in his chest. It's as if his heart just exploded through his cage, shattering every bone on its way out. How are you doing this?

You're all he has left.

Jason shakes his head, fighting back tears of agony and anger. "You're just like everyone else." Jason's voice cracks.

You knew it was coming but something about it makes you want to burst into tears.

"No." You shrug because he should know how badly this hurts you, too. This is the last thing you want to say to him, ever. "I'm not. I am not like everyone else. Don't ever say that shit again. You have done this. You came after my friend. My innocent friend, Jay." Your voice cracks as you try desperately to hold back your sobs. "All you have done since coming back from the dead, is hurt me." You pause, taking a ragged breath and Jason's face falls. Is that true? "And I have done everything to protect you. To be by your side. And you have done nothing but hurt me. So, no. I am not like everyone else. You just gave me no choice, Jay." You're quick to wipe a few tears away as your voice is weak and soft, lacking all fire and bite it had just seconds earlier.

He can't do it. He could try to make up for this. He could try to explain. He could just quit. That would do the job just fine. But, he doesn't. The heartbreak kicks in with anger and he just wants to be spiteful just like he always is as if fighting the person is going to change their mind. He knows it won't change yours but he does it anyway because he's hurt and the hurt has nowhere to go besides the open and cold air of this soulless city.

"You swore you never would but look at you now!" A lump grows in Jason's throat. "You said you don't break promises. Crane was right about you." Jason sneers as he closes the distance between you, looking down at you but he's not threatening or intimidating. You see the heartbreak in his eyes. You will feel guilty about this in every life you live.

Jason Todd has always deserved better.

"Okay." You shake your head slowly. "Sure, Crane doesn't know me. But you do. You know me. And you know I'd never be giving up if you left me another option. But, sure, believe Crane. Fuck it, right?" You scoff and all you want to do is cry. Or break every bone in your body because maybe that would be less painful. "I'm sick of losing my family." Your voice is quiet, barely a whisper. "All I ever wanted was you. And you died." You shrug your shoulders, keeping your eyes on him. "And all I wanted was you." You say quietly and Jason wants to shatter, his breath catching in his throat as his vision starts to go blurry. "And still, all I want is you but...I don't know what else to do."

You can see your breaths mixing together in the winter air between you. Everything led you both here and all you both want to do is take it back. The winter air chisels at your face and hands, hacking away at every hope you could have had. Jason's eyes are locked on yours, dissolving into heartbreak and you think this is what hypothermia must feel like.

But, Jason is too scared of what will happen if he does take it all back. He's still under Crane's manipulation. He's too stubborn. And you're terrified what will happen if you back down. If you back out of it, who will he target next?

"So, that's just it? I didn't mean to hurt anyone in there. It's not my fault." Jason huffs and the anger starts to evaporate as the heartbreak comes in the form of agony and devastation.

"Sure." You nod and you don't want him to feel like he's trapped with Crane. You have to give up because that's your option. But, you can offer him someone else and maybe that'll be enough. This all boils to Dick anyway. "The same way your drug isn't Crane's fault. Look, I'm done. I can't do it. Dick though, he believes in you still. So, if you want to come home, call him. Don't contact me. If you get clean, then you can. Until then, don't call me. Don't text me. Nothing. And stay the fuck away from the Drakes, Molly, and Gar." You try to hide the quiver in your voice but Jason catches it.

"Please, don't walk away." Jason says softly and you nearly collapse into the ground. His words are like knives aiming right for your heart. How does he do that?

You rest a hand on his cheek. "I can't leave it like that so, I'll always love you, Jay but...I want the old you back." You nod as your hand falls from his cheek. You turn around, going to leave him but you hear Jason take a few slow steps after you before they stop.

Jason's voice cracks as he says your name, his version becoming so blurry he can't see. "I...I'm sorry." Jason says quietly, looking to the ground as a tear falls from his eyes. "Don't...please," He looks back up to you. "Don't give up on me. I have a plan and it's all gonna work out. This was just an accident."

You swear he's never going to forgive you for this. This is the hardest thing you've ever done. Even if he understands one day, he'll never forgive you and it's the hardest pill to swallow.

"Yeah, I'm sure it was." You nod softly. "I can't save you. You don't want to be saved, not yet. You have to save yourself, now, Jay. And for what it's worth, I..." You pause watching tears come to Jason's eyes. "I love you, Jay." You nod your head as you sniffle. "And I am so fucking sorry I couldn't save you. From Deathstroke, from the Titans, from the Joker...from Bruce. And from Crane. I'm sorry I was another person that let you down and I'm really fucking sorry I'm walking away." You shake your head as you lick your lips. "But I don't think you'll get it through your head if I'm in your corner. I've tried everything to stay." You suck in a breath as a few tears fall from your eyes. "I tried to stay for once because being with you was worth it to me. But I don't think it's helping you so...get clean and we can talk. The second you get clean, I'll be here." You nod once as the ambulance finally starts to arrive. "Those are for us. You should leave." You turn back around and head back inside of the building, leaving Jason in the cold.

How could he fuck up this bad? He just wanted to show Crane he was right. He just wanted to prove himself and instead, he's the one standing out here all alone. Guilt and shame gnawing at the last good parts of him. And he just can't do it anymore. The pain and the fear and guilt and everything about it. It's too much and too heavy and maybe he's a little spiteful. So, he puts the inhaler to his lips and takes a hit.

They said it was a skinny batch but he didn't realize it would feel like this. It's numbing a lot of everything but not enough and it all still feels too heavy. When things get heavy, he always went to you but he just fucked that up. It's his fault it's heavy. This is all his fault and you're supposed to be on his side but you're not. He's all alone again and all he has is Crane. It's not supposed to be like this. How the fuck did he even get here?

All he wanted was to be somebody to someone. To be enough.

Back in the restaurant, the paramedics are getting Mr. Drake into the ambulance, rushing him off to Gotham General. Tim watches with sad and hollowed eyes, his hands are covered in blood and his shirt is soaked. You squeeze your eyes shut, looking away before you shake it off. You can't lose it over Tim's dad. That's not fair.

"Do...do you need a ride?" You clear your throat as the ambulance drives away. "I have my bike. I can take you." You offer with a steady and firm nod.

"Uh...yeah," Tim looks at his hands, something lost in his voice. "That...that would be great. Thanks."

"Of course." You nod, reaching down for this hand. Your hands have been covered in blood enough times to almost seem normal. "Come on."

The two of you head outside to your bike and you wonder how you're supposed to explain this. Dick talked to you months ago, when you first came to the tower. It was all about vigilante life and what it entailed. It would be making hard decisions but knowing those hard decisions would be for the greater good. It's not killing people because enough people hurt and kill innocent people enough. Vigilantes, heroes, don't do that. It was about keeping the identities of everyone a secret to protect yourself and them. You've never had much of an issue keeping secrets.

You hold your own close to your chest, lock them away where even you forget they exist sometimes. But, those secrets aren't these. Those secrets only ever hurt you, only ever made you feel alone. These secrets that you're forced to keep hurt everyone you care about. They hurt Molly because you couldn't tell her about Bluejay or Robin or Jason or Red Hood. You and Jason would bail on her and you'd both would show up riddled with bruises and aches and pains. It hurt her because it worried her. It hurt her because Jason died and she never got to know him as Robin, the part of him that meant the world to him. She only got to know a portion of him.

But telling Molly meant telling her about Dick and Bruce and the other Titans. It wasn't your secret to tell because it would out all of them. And she still doesn't know he's alive because telling her means leaking something Jason wanted to keep a secret and that's going to hurt her even more.

This hurts Tim because his dad was just shot and he just saw Jason Todd who's supposed to be dead. Now, he's going to think his friend is lying to him about your boyfriend being dead. Lying about an alter ego is one thing, lying about someone dying is cruel. Even if you weren't close.

And it hurts Gar because Gar ends up in the crossfire of everything. He's the one up worrying when you and Dick don't come home. He's the one scared for what Jason is going to do because you couldn't tell him about the drug in order to protect Jason and keep his secrets for him. And then there's Jason.

You can't tell Jason what's going on with the Titans because of Crane. You can't tell him everything you want to desperately scream from the rooftops. That you're sorry and you don't mean it and it hurts you, too. You can't tell him you're scared Crane is going to snap and kill him. It'll drive the wedge further between you. All of these secrets are piling on top of each other, slowly building to the tallest building in Gotham and it's only a matter of time before the whole thing collapses. All it does is hurt everyone you care about. That doesn't seem very heroic.

"Here, take my helmet." You offer the helmet to him once you reach your bike.

"Uh, no it's okay." Tim shakes his head. You're driving.

"Put the helmet on." You say sternly as you mount your bike, sending a glare to Tim.

Something about the look you give him makes Tim grab the helmet. "Right, okay." Tim nods and puts the helmet on before he gets on the back.

"Hold on." You state before Tim holds onto your waist.

You drive to Gotham General, pulling up to one of the entrances without blocking the ambulance entrance. Tim gets off and takes off the helmet, handing it back to you. He knows you know something. And if he's being honest, he's annoyed you didn't tell him. You aren't that close but...his dad just got shot and Jason fucking Todd knew about it. It was a hit. He stood outside and did nothing. Why wouldn't his own girlfriend know he's alive and planning a hit? You have acid generation and combat clairvoyance while also being an excellent marksman. Tim swears it can't be some coincidence you were there tonight.

"I'm really sorry about your dad." You state softly, holding the helmet on your thigh.

"Thanks." Tim looks back at the hospital. "That was Jason Todd outside, wasn't it?"

You nod softly and you know you can't deny that. Tim saw him "Yeah."

"I thought he was dead." Tim questions as his voice holds hints of venom, something you haven't heard before.

"Yeah." You nod again and you hate yourself for tonight. For everything. "Don't, uh, don't tell anyone. It's a long story." You hang your head, dodging the look Tim is surely giving you.

"You knew?" Tim scoffs, looking at you with annoyance and disappointment. Why the hell would you let everyone believe he were dead? "He faked his death or?"

You look back to him and all this sucks. You're sick of lying and hiding secrets. It's tiring and lonely. It's so fucking lonely.

"No." You shake your head. "He, uh...he really, uh...he really died." You suck in a shakey breath before you shake your head quickly. "I-I can't tell you anything else." You let out a bitter scoff. "That's shit and I know that. I'm sorry."

"Did he target us because of you? Because of the Titans?" All Tim wants is some clarity. There had to be reason. Tim helped you with a code. That's what it was.

"Not a Titan." You sigh with exhaustion, lacking any and all fight you'd normally have with the statement. "I don't know why." You lie but you're sick of this. Keeping these secrets is making you out to be the bad guy with everyone and you're not. You're just trying to protect everyone you care about so, you're not going to tell him in so many words but you're not going to cover it up either. "Um...yeah...maybe it was because of me but uh...I, uh, I never...I never thought he'd figure it out or....or come after you. I should have left you out of it."

Tim nods bitterly and he wants to understand but his dad could have been killed. "That code, it wasn't a murder mystery thing, was it?" Tim asks and you just suck in a breath, not offering him anything else. Technically, you aren't lying and technically you aren't telling him anything. He already knows. You don't need to so he nods. "I saw what you did. You knew they were going to start shooting. I was right."

You shake your head, looking to the sky and it's gloomy as always but it looks like it might snow. You scoff looking back to Tim. "I saw the guns."

"Bullshit, you know," Tim gestures a hand to you. "You're supposed to be a hero, like Batman and Robin but..." Tim shakes his head.

"Fuck Batman." You mutter as your jaw clenches.

"You're supposed to help people." Tim says sternly.

The lump in your throat grows and you bite your cheek so hard the taste of iron floods your mouth. It's not supposed to be this hard. And why does helping people have to be so black and white? Good and bad? It's not. Whether anyone likes it or not, the guys you want to target and take out permanently and the guys Jason was going after, that was helping. Making sure they can't hurt anyone else ever again. That's helping. Dick thinks he can help all of the Titans and he fucks up sometimes which gets people hurt, but he still helps. Sometimes people get hurt and that sucks but does that really make everyone else irrelevant? Does that really make everything else wrong? Or the motive and reasoning?

Helping people shouldn't be black and white, good and bad, morally good and morally evil. There needs to be a grey area because you have people like the Joker who needed to be killed for the greater good of everyone in Gotham. And you have people like Jason who isn't in his right mind and is being manipulated but should still be helped. It sucks Tim's dad got shot and you will regret going to Tim for help forever, but you're helping him by not telling him anything, even if you want to and even if he doesn't see it that way.

"I am literally begging you to please go inside and leave this alone, Tim." You force the words through gritted teeth. "I can't fucking tell you anything else, okay? I want to. If it were up to me, I'd fucking tell you what's going on but I can't. It's not my shit to say." You look to the ground and then back up to Tim, rolling your shoulders softly. "So, I'm sorry." You shake your head, giving up and cluing him enough. Technically, you're not admitting to anything, just admitting that you know what's going on.

"You just confirmed it." Tim says softly. "I'm gonna figure out what's going on and--"

"Tim! Please, go be with your dad. Trust me." You practically beg him because if he digs into this, what's going to stop Jason from actually going after him? Tonight might have been a threat or whatever, but at this point, you don't know if he would actually go after someone like Tim. You need him to just take what you're saying and understand it.

"That's my dad."

"I know and I know it sucks. I get it which is why I'm telling you to go be with him." You say softly as your voice cracks.

Tim nods softly, understanding why you're saying it. "Thanks for the ride."

"Just...text me about your dad, okay?" You ask. "I'm really fucking sorry."

"I will." Tim nods because he's beginning to think maybe this isn't on you. He might know who you are but you aren't as cut and dry as Batman and Robin always were. You're more morally grey and maybe it is more complicated because it involves Jason. You look terrified. "Thanks for saving me."

You nod quickly. "Of course." You say softly. "Good luck." You suck in a breath, popping the helmet on and taking off.

prev. chapter | next chapter

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

A/n: I still promise reader and Jason get a happy ending lmao This just had to happen lol but I do make up for it a little bit next chapter (pretty sure it's next chapter)

Tag list: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss  // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmess // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash  // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover //  @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @urmomsgayforme5

[faterpresources]

Anonymous:

Do you have any advice on how to start an rp blog? I feel like there's so much to do and so many specific things, it looks intimidating, but I really want to get into it (and your blog seems like a safe space to ask as a baby in the matter)

Hi! Thanks you for asking and for trusting. I do admit that rping on tumblr can look daunting and there is a series of things that are considered “etiquette” that might not be obvious for newcomers. And the only way to learn is to ask, right? As I’m not sure if you would like something more specific or a step-by-step, I’m going to go through the whole process.

note: this is a repost from an ask in a more reblog-friendly format

1.       Setting up the blog

You might want to make a new e-mail account for each blog you want. I recommend making a gmail/google account, so you may be able to use other services and associate them with your blog. I’ll go into more details in a minute.

Some people would rather have a personal blog and then making the RP blog as a side-blog. Or a “hub” blog and many side-blogs so they have everything centralized. The downside is that you can’t follow people with side-blogs, only the main – and some rpers are a little suspicious of personal blogs, so if you intend to go this route it might be a good idea to state somewhere in your blog that you have a RP blog.

Tip : It isn’t said too often, but I recommend saving your blog’s e-mail and password somewhere, maybe a flashdrive or even google drive. This way, if something happens you will be able to retrieve your account.

When picking the URL, for a very long time tumblr had problems tagging URLs with a hyphen ( - ). I’m not sure if it has been fixed or if there are still some issues, so I recommend only using letters and maybe numbers. Other than that, pick anything that sounds nice to you!

Themes are nice, but not entirely necessary. Not everybody has photoshop skills and all that. Some people do have commissioned themes, but if you want to try your hand at it my first stop is usually @theme-hunter  or @sheathemes . They reblog many themes from many creators, so there are always many options that might suit your needs.  Some creators offer very newcomer-friendly themes that you can configure a lot of things without much hassle but some might require basic HTML knowledge – a few creators have guides on how to properly set up their themes and are willing to and answer questions, so don’t be afraid to contact them! You can also send me an ask, I’m not a specialist but I can certainly help walk you through the basics.

Tip: @glenthemes have very good themes and a basic installation guide here.

When fiddling with the options, try to pick colors that have nice contrast and are easy to read. If you are bad at picking colors or have problems in finding the code for them, I recommend trying this link. There is also this one that auto-generate palettes.

Tip : If you mess with your theme, remember there is the Theme Recovery.

Tip: If you use Chrome or Firefox you can set up different profiles and associate each with a different blog, so you don’t need to log out from any of your accounts.

There are two pages that I recommend having: one is an about your muse. If they are an OC, it is always a good idea to have at least some information out there to make things easier. If they are from a canon source, not everybody is familiar with the material so it might be a good idea to state. For example, if you are going to roleplay as Altria/Arturia, it is a good idea to have a “RP blog for Saber (Altria Pendragon) from FGO/FSN “ somewhere visible. The other page that is a good idea having is a rules/guidelines page. This one can be a little intimidating, but it is usually a way to communicate important things. For example: are you comfortable writing violence? Do you have any personal triggers? There is something you absolutely won’t write? There are things you may figure out along the way and it is absolutely ok to fine-tune this session every now and then. Some people also credit source for their icons and graphics in general in their rule/guideline page.

If you are using the tumblr default themes, when you create a new page you can turn on the option to show a link to the page. If you are using a custom theme, most of the time you will have to link it manually.

Oh, and if you are planning to do a multimuse, it might be a good idea to list which muses you have. The same goes for a hub blog; list the muses and link to the pages.

Icons aren’t necessary but are considered commonplace. You can find some icons I’ve done here but there are plenty of other sources. If you want to do your own icons, keep in mind to don’t make them too big, as a courtesy to your mutuals.

Tip: Anything larger than 300 pixels will be stretched to fit the post. As of today ( 4/29/2021 ) the posts are currently 540 pixels wide. This can be useful as making banners for your blog.

Tumblr allow users to “pin” posts. This mean that they will always visible if you access your blog, even on dash/mobile. You can use this to set up a post with basic links for mobile users or something else. For example, if you are out on vacations and won’t be able to do replies, you can pin a hiatus notice and then remove the pin once you are back.

2.       Introducing yourself

Time to officially join the fun! (insert a “Hi, Zuko here” joke) Don’t worry if you don’t have a fancy promo graphic or anything, most people make their initial introduction with a simple post.

(as you can see, I’m not very good at saying ‘hi’)

Try to introduce yourself in a few lines, but make sure to state which muse you RP as. Some people also like adding their pen name/alias and establishing a brand. Follow as many people as you want that reblogged or liked your post, and tumblr is going to start recommending other blogs that are related to the tags you use normally or have any relation to the people you follow. You can put as many tags as you want, but tumblr will disregard more than 6 tags in their system. Try tags like “<fandom> rp” and “<fandom> roleplay” along with the media, such as “movie” “video game”, “anime” and so on.

It might also be a good idea to follow a few RP memes blogs. They often have options to break the ice, like one-liners that your mutual can send you.

Tip: Don’t forget to turn on the asks and the anon

3.       Practical advice

Alright, now that you have a few mutuals, it is time to get to some general tips:

Tumblr can be a little “iffy”, and a great quality of life extension for RPers and navigation in general is installing the New Xkit extension. They offer a number of options to enhance your tumblr experience, but the ones I consider essential are the “editable reblogs”, “quick tags” and “blacklist”. Get it for Chrome or Firefox.

As a rule of thumb I recommend writing your RPs using Google Docs before posting or replying. By doing this you can do some spell check and if your browser crashes for any reason you can easily recover your work. You can also use Word, Open Office, or any text editor you feel like.

Because I’m a bit of a perfectionist, I also have Grammarly ( Chrome / Firefox ) installed for an extra layer of spell/grammar check. There is a subscription option, but the free one works perfectly fine.

To make things easier to locate, always tag the URL of your RP partner when doing a reply. There are other useful things you can tag, such as open starters, memes, and such.

Risking being obvious here, but when you are not interacting as your character it might be a good idea to tag as “ooc” or “out of character”.

Some people like making google docs with basic info and other useful stuff for easier access on mobile. It is a recent trend, it might be easier to edit as opposed to going through tumblr page editor and dealing with the HTML.  You can find some templates here and here.

Tumblr’s activity can be unreliable, so don’t be afraid of contacting your partner to see if they have gotten your reply after a few weeks. However, some people also enjoy using the RP Thread Tracker in order to be on top of things. It might be a good idea to check it out.

Because of Tumblr shadowbanning and shenanigans, it isn’t unusual for people to have NSFW sideblogs (sometimes referred as ‘sin blogs’). If you want to write smut, it might be a good idea to consider making one.

Some people don’t like replying to asks, as Tumblr won’t let you remove the initial ask. It has become common to see people making new posts to reply to asks.  This is a simple example:

As you can see, I used the mention to have the RP partner notified then I copied and pasted their question on my post and used the quote to indicate it. You can also have fancy graphics, like a line to separate the contents, just do whatever you feel like with the formatting or keep it simple.

To make sure your partner got the answer, I recommend copying the link to the post and pasting on the ask and then replying it privately.  An example sent to my rp blog:

4.       Basic Etiquette

Ok, this is a little subjective most of the time but here are a few things that are considered universal courtesy.

Never reblog someone else’s headcanons. If you enjoy it, maybe it should politely contact the author and ask if it is ok to write something based on their original idea but you should never downright copy or lift something from another creator. It is considered rude, or even theft in some cases.

Don’t reblog threads you are not involved with. It is ok to leave a like, but never reblog. This is because Tumblr can mess up the notifications and disrupt the flow of the RP.

Don’t copy other people’s graphics. It is very rude and sometimes they commission (aka: paid) for it.

Trim your posts. What does that mean? Every time you reblog with a reply, the post tends to get longer and longer, and it can cluster your and your mutuals’ dashes. This is why the New X-Kit’s “editable reblogs” is an almost must-have tool. If for some reason you can’t install X-Kit (if you are on mobile for example), then remove the previous post or ask your partner to trim for you.

Never take control of your RP partner’s muse. This is called “godmodding” and it is heavily frowned upon. It is ok to control your muse and the possible NPCs that you inserted, but never seize someone else’s character. Likewise, it can also be very upsetting if you use what people call “meta-gaming”, applying knowledge that your muse shouldn’t know about the other. For example, let’s say your RP partner’s muse is a vampire, but they have never disclosed that information to your muse, who also doesn’t have an excuse to know that (for example, being a vampire hunter) so it can be quite jarring sometimes. When in doubt, contact your partner.

This should go without saying, but RPing sexual themes with users under the age of 18 are illegal. It doesn’t matter if the age of consent in your location is lower, once you join Tumblr you are abiding by their user guidelines and the law of the state they are located in. If you are an adult, don’t engage minors with these topics, maybe a fade to black would be a better option. If you are a minor, don’t insist or you might cause a lot of legal problems for others.

Try to tag anything triggering. Violence, gore, NSFW. Both Tumblr and the New Xkit have options to block keywords.

When picking PSDs or graphics for your blog, you should avoid templates that change the color of the skin of POCs muses and try to pick the right race/ethnicity of the muse you are going to RP as. I won’t go through a lot of details, as it is a rather lengthy subject in an already lengthy conversation but keep this in the back of your mind.

Some RPers don’t like when you reblog memes from them without sending anything. Try to always reblog from a source or to interact with the person you are reblogging from, it can be rather disheartening to be seen as a meme source rather than a RP blog. This isn’t a rule and some people don’t mind, but it is always a good idea to try to do this.

This might be more of a pet peeve of mine than proper etiquette, but it is ok to use small font. What is not ok is use small font + underscript. Some people have disabilities that might make it harder for them to read it, so it might be a good idea to refrain from using it. Maybe if you feel like doing something fancier every now and then, but I wouldn’t recommend making this a habit.

Mun and Muse are different entities. Remember that it isn’t because a muse does something (especially a villain one) that the mun condones something. Never assume anything about the mun, when in doubt talk to them.

Be mindful of your partners and treat them the way you would like to be treated.

As a rule of thumb, always talk to your RP partner. It is only fun as long both of you are enjoying it.

5.       Closing Words

This got longer than I expected.

Despite all of that, don’t be too worried about not being very good at first. I assure you that you will get better with time, so don’t be afraid of experimenting as long you feel comfortable. And don’t be afraid of saying “no” if something bothers you.

My inbox is always open to questions and ideas, so feel free to contact me anytime!

I would also ask my followers: there is advice I missed/overlooked? Anything you would like someone have told you when you first started? Add your thoughts so I can update this.

Happy RPing!

[kindahoping4forever]

This year I’ve spent more time with all of you than I have with my own family. This fandom isn’t always easy, this website isn’t always functional and this year was impossibly difficult for reasons both global and so personal I don’t want to get into. Under the cut, there are some people I want to individually mention but I know sometimes these posts are basically the equivalent of reading someone else’s yearbook messages so I wanted to give a blanket thank you up front. If you’re reading this, it doesn’t matter if we’ve talked or not, if you are on my blog, you made this year bearable for me. You helped this place feel like home, you helped me feel like I had support and as trivial as this whole thing is, you helped me feel like I had purpose in a year where I literally sat alone in my bedroom all day everyday. Yes, I wish 2020 had been different and god I hope 2021 is better but regardless of all that, I know I have a place here and that gives me more comfort than I could ever put into words (and by now, y’all know I love words). If you’re reading this, thank you.

To my anons, whether you were a regular (SAB and my 🍒 friend, I hope you’re well) or a just a passerby, whether you address me as Tater Tot, Main Crystal, Historian or an all caps MA’AM, whether you’re screaming at me about a fic, something Ash just posted or an interview from 3 years ago that you only have a vague recollection of but need to discuss - I’ve had an immeasurable amount of fun with you. Thank you for wanting to talk to me.

To the regulars in my inbox like @ivebeenasleepsolong , @fedorable-killjoys , @ashtcnirwin, @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @roarformeprettylion @spicycal @ashtonlftv and many others (some it won’t let me tag and some I haven’t seen around in a minute and the Tumblr folder in my email is only scrolling back so far on mobile smh) - I always appreciate seeing a familiar face (? you know what I mean lol) in my notifications and again, thank you for wanting to talk to me.

In that regard, even if we haven’t talked and you just like or reblog posts, I do notice the people who are consistently popping up in my notifications and appreciate your presence. I won’t shout you out in case you’re lurking on purpose (lol) but I just wanted to mention I value you in our little community.

@sadistmichael @sexgodashton @irwinkitten @suchalonelysunflower @mymindwide @justhereforcalum @oldmes @loveroflrh You’ve all been so generous and encouraging when it comes to my writing and I genuinely cherish every piece of feedback you’ve given me. 

Anyone who has read or supporting any of my fics this year, I can’t thank you enough. Before this year, I’d never publicly shared anything I’d written nor did I plan to. I haven’t worked since March and writing is now how I fill my days, I can’t imagine what I’d be doing without it so thank you for indulging me, encouraging me and occasionally screaming with me. 

@wastethen8 We talk more on other socials than we do here now lol. I'm always so happy to hear from you whether it's about something fandom related we're excited about, a tiktok trend (😁), a song you're learning (💙) or a silly story about your life. Sorry for occasionally ghosting you when I forget to check my snaps lmao. Love you!

@ashtonangst Our meals this year? Sometimes few and far between but ma'am we got fed. I'm so glad to be riding in the superior lane with you. 😌

@notinthesameguey Whether it’s another broke!sos comment, a simple “come get your mans” or something equally entertaining, I adore seeing you in my inbox. (Not to mention the reaction memes omg)

@rebelwith0utacause From discussing 2017!sos to tattoo/pierced!sos to dream cover songs to your contributions to the “Daddy but...” list, any day you grace my inbox is a fine one, Ana. (I still regularly think about that broke!sos essay you sent in lmao)

@ashtonsunshine There’s really only one way I can properly convey my love for you. 

Thank you for your presence in my life. (Yes I am saying this to both the picture and to you 😂💙)

@karajaynetoday If we’re being honest (like pizza), we have been through so much in such a short span of time lmao. Thank you for your friendship, your kind heart and the Aussie snacks. Here’s to being #GirlBosses in 2021. 😌

To my beloved clowns @cashtonasfuck, @pxrxmoore, @feliznavidaddycal Big sigh. Cream Soda. Collarbones. Paying for parking. Auralism. The Cologne Incident. Sprinkle Gate. Water bottles. The Hat Shelf. ****** ****. Our chaos? Unmatched (except perhaps by own Clown King himself). Can you believe there was a time when we thought Ash planting A GARDEN was going to be the most exciting gift he’d give us this year? AND THEN HE MADE AN ENTIRE ALBUM. This year has been unreal in ways both good and bad and I feel like the luckiest clown in the world that I got to experience it with you all. Full send on those vibes, my friends.

@cal-puddies I’m sure everyone on this website is sick of me talking about how much I love you (you might be too, who knows lmao). I’ll keep it brief since I’m sure I’ll tell you at least 5 other times tonight how much you mean to me. I am only making it out of 2020 in one piece because of you. The writing, the clowning, the bad movies, those have all sustained me this year but it’s the knowledge that I have someone unequivocally on my side, that I can talk to about anything at any time that gets me out of bed in the morning (and on the days when I simply can’t get out of bed, you tell me that’s ok and I am also immeasurably grateful for that). I am a better writer from working with you, I am a better person for knowing you. There’s no one I’d rather live in a Cashton AU with, plan to buy an overly ambitious farm with or otter-bond myself to as we float into the unknown waters of 2021. You’re the best bestie.

[hetalia-has-a-secretary]

Any tips on making a Hetalia scenario blog? Rlly need some good advice for writing, handling asks, etc.

This is a very good question! From what I've seen from other blogs, and such I can give you a nice list of the basics! I'd also LOVE to see your Blog so feel free to send me your username! Biggest rule SAVE EARLY. SAVE OFTEN! the amount of times I lost a whole hours worth of work! ALSO DON'T CLICK ON OTHER TUMBLR NOTIFS BECAUSE IT CAN KICK YOU OFF FROM YOUR DRAFT AND THAT SUCKS!

Know your Boundaries- While it's nice to want to anwser everything that comes through, it's helpful to pin a Do/Won't Do rules list. Both you and your future followers need to know Boundaries. It makes things easier on both sides! Make sure to stay with those Boundaries to avoid problems in the future.

Hetalia Fandom- as with all fandoms we have the good, bad and the ugly. Keep in mind you don't have to, and shouldn't, interact with anything negative. Only respond to 'hate mail' and trolls if you can handle it. Once they see you take their bait they most certainly will send more, and it can easily spiral your blog into a negative space! (It's also way more fun not answering them, and just KNOWING they're probably frustrated you're not giving them attention) A good rule to follow is to step away from that ask before deciding to respond. It might not be worth getting worked up over it.

Be inclusive- It can be fun to do research on ethnicities and other things like Genders. But if you ever feel like you can't answer an ask dealing with Trauma, Mental illnesses, or Races don't feel obligated to anwser then. Especially if you don't have the knowledge. Feel free to leave a brief message such as "I don't know enough about this, so I'm afraid I can't answer." Or "I'm unsure if I can represent 'X' properly so I can't do the ask."

Don't over do it- I find I get burned out if I answer more than 3 (I have no life) asks in a row. Get a tiny notepad and scribble ideas down when the urge or idea occurs! It can make it easy. But also, don't let it distract you from daily life! Tumblr users are relatively understanding of this rule.

Those are rules for what I personally feel that helps me keep motivated, and mentally well, all while keeping a rather clean and safe blog. This next set is more or so actually running a scenerio blog.

Have a pinned rule lost- Go take a peek at my rules list. Yeah. See that glorious mess I made- Don't expect everyone to have the ability to read a lengthy rule list. Keep it simple. We have people with ADHD (etc), reading disabilities, and people who don't speak full english roaming about in our lovely fish tank know as the Hetalia Fandom! So keep that in mind if someone asks something that goes against your rules, and be kind when telling them!

Have a back up- If there's any specific scenerios or asks you don't want to keep, Make a Google doc to copy and paste the scenerios from. I've noticed that Tumblr posts (mobile) don't let you copy anything more than what's between breaks and bullet points. So I'd recommend typing things out in Google docs (which can help with grammar and spelling as well) and paste it into a Draft.

Drafts- I personally like having several drafts to work on throughout the week. So I don't always do them in order, but I also let my blog followers know when I start hopping around.

Know your limit- I have over 50 asks (I'm also slightly out of my mind) and I will admit it can be overwhelming, so set a small limit of what you can get out at a comfortable pace, and close your ask box when you go over that limit if you plan on using it. Example: I can do 6-10 asks in a week (pain), So I should be closing my box when I see it get to 15-20, excluding the stuff like friendly compliments I can give a quick thanks to!

Writing- It's important to keep things organized. If you look at my past asks you can see I keep characters separate, and I make the names Bold of I'm not using bullet point. It's to help people reading my blog skim through and keep track of what's what. I see a lot of word counts, and Trigger warnings. For trigger warnings, act like you're rating a movie! Is it M for mature due to Violence, or mentions of nudity? It's nice to have a NSFW tag to help people filter your blog. Mine is #handsypandsy because Tumblr doesn't like the tag NSFW.

You can do a readmore- : readmore :

But without the space. Very helpful for NSFW, sensitive content, and long content. If the thing you made takes more than half a scroll, you should use it.

Prioritize your tags- this is a rule I don't follow, but I'm trying to remember it. It's probably smartest to go in the order of: NSFW tag (if any), Main Characters, Series Names, Funny tags or commentary. It makes it easier for both you and your readers to find what you're looking for! Also, organize any other AUs like human AU.

Last but not least- don't be afraid to make mistakes. I've forgotten characters, and some nice anons point it out. It can be a pain to find them, but like I've stated previously tags can be your best friend. It's also fun to use a text to speech and listen back to your writing (definitely want to Google doc so you don't struggle trying to copy everything).

With that being said remember to have fun! I know it seems like a lot, but it comes down to what feels best for you, and what goes on with your life. Feel free to DM me as well, I keep a very strict "What happens in DMs, Stays in DMs" rule! Remember internet safety, and if you have any specific questions feel free to send them in! And if anyone has anything to add, feel free to comment below!

[starsmuserainbow]

Hmm, okay uh, I have no idea what I’m doing here but I feel like everyone needs positivity and so here’s a post where I’ll try to give just that.

First off, happy holidays and a good end of the year to everyone who reads this, I am glad that you’re here watching my blog and perhaps even interacting with me! Thank you for everything, whether that is a simple follow or an occasional (perhaps anon) ask, or actual interactions!

Next, I want to say that everyone that I’m seeing on my dash is absolutely amazing and I admire so many of you and am happy whenever I see you around! I am most likely very happy to have you around, especially if we’re mutuals and interacting with one another. I would probably love to talk with each of you more, but I’m just really bad at smalltalk or anything like that so with most people, I simply default to only messaging them (= you) when there’s something as a reason to do so. Sorry for that!

This goes out to everyone reading this: You’re awesome, I’m honored to have you here and interested in my blog, and I hope that your days or weeks or months will be great because you surely deserve it!

And then, I’ll now follow with a kind-of list mentioning a few people that I want to say more to. Which might sound repetitive because I suck at words in these regards, but yeah. Under a cut for length.

If you see this post and weren’t tagged, please don’t be sad or think I don’t value you being around! I can’t tag everyone, and I don’t have the best mind for things like coming up with someone that I forgot in the moments of writing this.

To not start off with the same names all the time, I wrote down the URLs I wanted to include and randomized the order. So don’t think anything by if you’re first or 5th or last on this list! And once more, I’m bad at words, so I’m sorry if this isn’t sounding too great or like it’s similar for each one.

I told myself to not include anyone that isn’t active-ish at the moment, but I made some exceptions to that because I felt that said person needed to be on my list.

@rogueprinceconsort ~ (I read the post you did recently more or less saying you’re leaving, but I wrote this before that post and it would have felt wrong to erase it from here only because of you leaving!) I enjoy our interactions a lot! They feel like they actually develop a story, which I can’t say for ALL my interactions but definitely for each one that we have going! Which is really cool! You’re one of the only few people where I have the chance to play around with different verses too (well, or at least one different verse, since our other two ongoing interactions are in the mainverses of my muses, but still), and you’re one of the few giving one of my OC-sideblogs a chance as well, and, just, I really am so thankful for it and happy to have you as a mutual!

@untouchable-lightning ~ You aren’t here at the moment, so let me just start this by saying that I hope that things will get better for you again soon! It’s a lot of fun to interact with you and I think you’re a good writer and I’m very happy for our interactions! They are always fun! I did not often yet get the chance to do this other RP-style that I do (the ‘choose-your-option’ one) and you are one of those that allowed me to play through it, and you also interact/ed with my sideblogs too, so a big thank you for that! Our threads also often last nicely long, which is absolutely amazing since it’s a big rarity these days, too. You’re great, and I’m happy that we’re mutuals and interaction-partners!

@miasmarp ~ We’re more or less only starting out interacting and talking and anything basically, but I felt like I just absolutely had to include you because I HAVE A CHANCE TO PLAY ONE OF MY OTHER (non-blog-having, not even an info page or anything outside of one or two ooc posts about them) OCS with you and that’s just like the first time at all (not counting if I do include them as minor appearances in other things, though even there it has only happened one single time so far iirc), and that is just so much fun and just thank you! You’re really cool and I’m happy that we’re mutuals!

@karaoftomorrow (or @yourfavoritesidekick if you’d prefer I tag your main) ~ It’s so wonderful to write with you! It feels like we’re developing stuff in our things really well, and I really like to read what appears from you on my dash! Talking with you is very nice too, and I’m always really happy whenever I see you in my notifications or IMs or wherever! I’m very glad to have you as mutual and am really happy about any and all of our interactions!

@skymade / @siriseen or maybe I should tag one of your other blogs instead but those are the first two I usually think of and I don’t wanna tag more than two blogs for one person xD ~ Sooooooooo awesome! You have so many characters, which all are wonderful as far as I can tell, and I love our interactions so much! I’m always really looking forward to the next reply I get from one of our things, and talking to you is always a delight and I’m so so happy that we somehow found each other! Or well, I guess you found me because if I remember right you followed me first, but yes! Thank you for writing with pretty much all of my characters, you’re very cool, I absolutely love the connections our muses get (especially those where they know one another at a younger time and then ‘now’ meet again too - how cool is that?) and it’s always a joy to see you on my dash!

@azarathian ~ We haven’t really done or spoken that much together yet (or at least I assume we didn’t? There was your old blog but I don’t think we really spoke there, much less did threads or the likes? Sorry if I’m wrong though xD), but I’m so very glad we started! I admire your writing and the thoughts you put into Raven and I think you’re great! Our threads are incredibly entertaining and it’s so awesome to put more story into the situations of or between the episodes of the cartoon, and yes, I’m just very very thankful that we got together somehow and I’m excited for how our threads - and potential future ones - will develop!

@nvertoolate or if I should tag your currently more active sideblog @bloomingtalent ~ It is so absolutely amazing that one of my first mutuals, friends, or however I should call it, still is active on here as well! With most people on here, it’s sadly the case that they’re gone again sooner than later, so it’s especially great that we are still both here! I think I’ve said multiple times before that I don’t think I would even have stayed on tumblr if you hadn’t been around and interacting with me so I won’t go into detail about that yet again, but, yes, I absolutely love our interactions when we do them, and while I don’t know much about Naruto so we don’t really interact that much on your sideblog, I’m still so very happy to have you around and as my mutual! I’m so thankful for you and that we got to interact - and still do! Thank you!

@sewn-cutie ~ Our interactions are always so wonderfully adorable and cute! I love the connection between Starfire and Clementine, and it’s a lot of fun to write any of our things! I’m very happy when I hear from you in an OOC-y way too, like when you reply to one of my posts or in the IMs or whereever! I’m absolutely convinced that you are a great person, and I am delighted that we are mutuals and can interact so nicely!

@legaxies ~ I wasn’t sure if maybe I shouldn’t include you since from how much I can tell it seems you are at the moment more focused onto that theme-sideblog you have and I told myself to not include those that aren’t really active at the moment - but I felt like I had to! I wanted to say that I’m really happy for the things we started, and that I have a lot of fun talking to you when we do! I’m very much enjoying the potential relationships we have started on, and I look forward to hopefully continuing them in some way eventually! (This of course is not meant as pushing you to work on replies or whatever, please don’t understand me wrong here; I just mean this in a way of, if we do get to continue it - if not that’s totally fine too!) You’re doing great with any of your characters (as much as I can judge with not that much knowledge), and I’m happy that we’re mutuals! It’s a joy to interact with you, so, thank you!

@featherchan ~ You’re interacting with me, or did in the past, on pretty much all my muses (I think not on Starlight? But outside of that on all I think), and that means a lot to me! We have some really cool plots going, and you joined in on that event-au-thing I did all that time back too, so that’s very great, and I wanted to say thanks! Our interactions are always fun and I’m happy to write with and talk to you!

@thedoctornumber11 ~ Throughout my time being here, you’re pretty much the only one of the world of Doctor Who that I got interactions going with (I think there was someone on Wildfire once too, but not for very long iirc), and I really enjoy that! I wanted to include you here too because I wanted to say that I’m very very grateful for the nice words or explanations you sometimes throw onto my posts, and for the things you send in to me, and yes just for all of it! Thank you!

@flashgotthis ~ I love our things so much! All the interactions that we did so far were really really really cool, still are, and they often last really long too, and it’s just absolutely wonderful! You’re also one of those that aren’t only talented writers, but also really great artists, and I admire that skill so much! I’m delighted that we are mutuals and interaction-partners, and I look forward to what’s still to come! You’re amazing!

@graceful-cure-swan / @rosecoloredmuses (mostly tagging your sideblog as well to give it, like, some sort of indirect promoing here) ~ You are great! I feel so bad for all the many things you sent me whereas I barely ever send you (or anyone else, for that matter) anything at all, but, I’m also really grateful that you do it, so - thank you! I’m enjoying our interactions very much, I think that both Tsubasa and your other characters are done really well (even if I don’t know that much about each of them or can compare them to their canon versions much), and you’re a lot of fun to interact with! You also give my sideblogs and OCs a chance too, which means very much to me too, so yeah, I’m very grateful to have you as my mutual!

@eterniita ~ We’ve been interacting throughout a few of your blogs already, and I enjoy our interactions! I think you put a lot of love and thought into your characters, and they are great, and our threads are a lot of fun! I haven’t yet checked out your remade blog of your canons again, but I intend to and most likely follow you there again, too! I hope we will still get to more wonderful interactions!

@merveiilles​ ~ I’m so happy that we’re interacting! I love our threads a lot and I’m enjoying every reply that I get or write! You have a lot of characters and it’s really impressive that you do them (as far as I can tell/know them) so well! Your art, that you occasionally post, is also really really amazing and it’s very wonderful that you are so talented! I am very thankful for the nice words that you put onto my posts every now and then, and I am delighted by the threads and connections we are having between our muses!

@symbioteburnout​ ~ I don’t feel like I can say very much here (yet), but I wanted to include you too! I enjoy the things that we got going so far, and going from what I see from you about her I think Andi is a interesting character! It’s always wonderful to me, when people put the effort into characters who might not get as much time to shine in canon as others. Thanks for replying to my opens every now and then, and just in general for being my mutual and interacting with me!

@titansandothersrp​ / @robynrpmain (Now I’m getting frustrated at tumblr again for not letting me tag your main) ~ You are really cool! You’re a great artist, I love to see your work, and our threads are very entertaining! I feel like you’re doing very well in giving the characters you play as more story, more... I don’t know the right word here. Just, that you make them ‘more’, and that’s a really awesome thing. And yeah, like said, you also do art which I think looks really good, and I just absolutely admire people who can do art so well. Thanks for being mutuals and interacting with me!

---

So, and as a nice little bit of words at the end, I guess~ I’m very honored by anyone of you who’s actually interested in me and my writing, I’m thankful and glad to have you around, and I’m looking forward to more amazing things to come in the future with all of you!

[angryschnauzer]

Superior Specimen - Chapter 3

Summary: One night when you are following the Archaeology tag on instagram you stumbled across a fun looking dig… and an even more interesting Paleontologist who soon follows you back. Over the following weeks you start chatting and a friendship soon grows.

Relationship: AU Henry Cavill x Female Reader (No race or body shape mentioned)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, 

Warnings: Slow Burn, NSFW, 18+, Mutual Masturbation, Phone Sex, Drunken Piggy Back Rides, Oral Sex (Female Recieving)

I do not operate a tag list, but please follow @angryschnauzerwrites​ and put that blog onto notifications, as you will then be notified whenever i post something new.

I don’t have a masterlist, but all my works are on AO3, link here. Usually i post oneshots to Tumblr and AO3, and multichapters exclusively to AO3, but as this is my first henry story and its going to be a short series, i’ll post to both places.

Superior Specimen – Chapter 3

 True to your word, it had been one drink and one drink only; you knew your limits and no matter how handsome the man buying the drink, you stuck to your own rules. Watching as he paid the bill before he slipped his hand around yours and you walked into the late evening;

“Can I give you a ride home?”

 “Mmm a ride would be nice, Sir...” 

 You smirked but your drunken bravado was ruined as you stumbled on a kerbstone. Scrunching your eyes shut you expected the painful crunch as you hit the ground, only for a pair of strong arms to catch you. Looking up into Henry’s eyes you smiled as he lifted you to your feet with ease;

 “I was going to say if you keep calling me Sir you’ll be in trouble, but you seem to be in enough trouble without my help” 

 “I’m fine! I had four drinks!”

 “All doubles?”

 “Yep!” you hiccupped as you stepped, only for your ankle to wobble, and again you found yourself in Henry’s arms.

 “It’s piggyback time”

 “No!”

 “Either its piggyback or I’ll throw you over my shoulder, your choice”

 “Ok… piggyback ride it is then”

 Soon you were standing on a nearby bench, Henry crouched slightly in front of you;

 “I can’t believe I’m doing this” you muttered as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and hopped on, his large hands gripping onto your thighs.

 “Princess, I have to admit when I’ve thought about you riding me whilst I grip onto your thighs, this isn’t what I had in mind either…” he grinned over his shoulder.

 Sure you got a few stares as he carried you, but the feeling of being bounced up and down as he held you tight was actually very comforting. As you waited at a traffic light for the pedestrian crossing to go green for him to walk across he quietly spoke;

 “Not far now, I’m parked in the multi-storey over there”

 -

 Henry drove a top of the range Audi SUV, and as he made his way slowly through the hot London night his hand strayed to your knee, gently rubbing the skin on your inner thigh as he casually asked your questions about you, answering yours about him, but as the drive went on your concentration waivered, your body thrumming with lust as his hand had crept higher. Just as his little finger had brushed against the soaked cotton of your underwear, he swung the Audi into the numbered space outside your building;

 “Home Princess”

 With a groan you slumped into your seat, before Henry’s hand gently cupped the back of your head and his mouth was on yours, his kiss deep and powerful before pulling away whilst leaving you wanting more;

 “Do you need help getting to your door?”

 “Umm, I’ll be *hic* fine, you don’t want to…?”

 “Oh I do, but you’re drunk… and I haven’t bought you dinner yet”

 “Gotcha” you drunk winked at him which made him laugh, before you grabbed the door handle and went to exit the car… only it wasn’t the handle, and as you shifted in your seat you bonked your head directly into the window; “Ow FUCK!”

 “Aww come here”

 Henry wrapped his arms around your head, pressing kisses to the top of it before letting you go and stepping out of the car, circling around and opening your door for you;

 “You’re a hazard to your own health, so I shall be escorting you all the way to your front door, M’lady” he laughed kindly.

 When you fucked up the code for the door, you curled into Henry’s chest as you told him and his sober fingers punched the number in, the electronic click of the lock releasing registering in your brain, before he swept you into his arms as you told him your Flat number and carried you up four flights of stairs. Setting you on your feet at your door you swayed as you fished your keys from your bag, getting them caught on all manner of things, before you sighed and muttered that there was a spare key under the pot plant that stood next to your front door. Henry stooped down and got it and again Henry’s sober finger skills came into use as he unlocked your door and helped you inside.

 Closing the door, you leant against the wall as he moved around your kitchen, plucking a glass from the counter and filling it with water, before crossing the room and handing it to you;

 “Drink… you need to rehydrate yourself otherwise your hangover will be awful tomorrow”

 “Yes Sir”

 Sipping the water in front of him you slowly drained the glass before he took it from you and refilled it, before setting it on the counter. Taking you into his arms he smiled;

 “Drink that before you go to bed” he lowered his mouth to yours and kissed you, gentler than before, but his tongue was a work of art and it soon had you pressing yourself against him.

 “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?”

 “Oh Princess, I want to stay, but I won’t. Not with you this drunk” 

 “Ooow…” you moan like a brat; “But I’m horny, even if I unashamedly beg you to fuck me?”

 He chuckled;

 “Nope, I won’t be fucking you tonight Princess, I can sort the horny out though…”

 You watched with your jaw agape as he fluidly got to his knees in front of you, gently grasping your hips as he pushed you back against the wall of your kitchen and started to slowly edge your skirt up your legs until it was bunched around your waist. Carefully he pulled your soaked underwear down your legs and helped you step out of them, before he grasped one knee and lifted it over his shoulder. Your eyes were trained on his the whole time, pale flashes in the summer twilight as he leant forwards and he swiped his tongue through your folds. He shuffled forwards and you struggled to stand on the tips of your toes on your other leg, and you let out a quiet squeak as he easily lifted your leg until it was over his other shoulder, his hands splayed across your ass to support you as he started to lick and suck at you with earnest. 

 Your fingers found their way to his hair, tangling them in the dark chestnut brown strands as he started to fuck you with his tongue, the long muscle massaging your inner walls as his nose rubbed against your clit. The harder you squirmed the tighter he held you, and soon you could feel your legs start to tremble as you clamped them around his head, your whole body shaking with need as you moaned out his name so beautifully. 

 The room was hot, the air heavy with lust and the sounds of his tongue and mouth working so hard towards orgasm, and when the levy finally broke you cried out his name surrounded by curses, your body shaking so hard you were thankful he could hold you up as otherwise you surely would have tumbled to the floor. When the stimulation was all too much you tugged on his hair and called out his name, your voice hoarse and your throat dry;

 “Henry… please, stop…”

 He let out a chuckle as he gently set your feet on the floor before standing, steadying you as you swayed a little;

 “Do you feel better now?”

 “Yes Sir” you drunkenly muttered, your eyelids heavy and a smile plastered across your face.

 Holding your face gently in his palms he pressed a light kiss to your lips;

 “Have your water then get to bed Princess”

 “Yes Henry”

 You watched as he left, winking as he shut the door behind him, and you did as he told you, minutes later falling face first into bed, still fully clothed apart from your panties that were decorating your kitchen floor.

Chapter 4 >>>

[sarah0687]

Tagged on this lil game by @warriorteam1924 !! Thank you so much <3<3

Why did you choose your url? It’s my name, birth month, and year because I’m all sorts of creative...I should maybe change it one day. We’ll see.

Any side blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them. I have a Queen side blog (theshadowofthemushroomcloud) and another one where I post (and store) all sorts of fanfics. I won’t tell you what it is, but you could probably guess :)

How long have you been on Tumblr? Is there a way to look that up somehow? This account I believe I made when I was in college. We won’t talk about how long ago that was. But I had no clue what I was doing and no real reason to stay so.... I abandoned it until last year. It was last year (ish) when I created my side blogs too.

Do you have a queue tag? 90% of the stuff posted on this account is queued, but I don’t have a tag...I rarely tag things, but I’m attempting to change that.

Why did you start your blog in the first place? Uhhhmmm.... I believe I was looking for a blog site since xanga shut down or something (did xanga shut down?). My Queen side blog started because I didn’t want my non-Queen followers to be bombarded with Queen. My fanfic one was started because I had so many fic saved in my drafts folder (because I don’t get a lot of time to read) and I had a sh*tton of things saved in said draft folder and couldn’t find anything else. I got annoyed and moved the fanfics to their own little spot.

Why did you choose your icon/pfp? This is me. And it is (I think) the best picture of me ever taken in my entire life so I use it for a lot of things. I was doing field work for my senior thesis that day. The snake is a lawn ornament, so don’t worry. 

Why did you choose your header? It’s a picture I took of the lake north of where I live. The lake was partially frozen that day which explains the weird whatsits. I thought it looked cool so I made it my header one day and haven’t changed it since.

What’s your post with the most notes? HA! You ask like I’m not technologically illiterate. Is there a way to find that out?

How many mutuals do you have? 44, even though I don’t always talk to them all, I <3 them

How many followers do you have? 253 and I apologise to each and every one of you for subjecting you to my humor :D

How many people do you follow? Only 632....

Have you ever made a shitpost? most likely?

How often do you use Tumblr each day? I just got a smartphone last year and in my infinite wisdom selected to get notifications for all the blogs I follow.... I learned from that mistake and only get notifications from....still a rather large amount of people. But I’m working on paring that list down a bit more as well. So to answer the question, I check out Tumblr when I get notifications. Or maybe once or twice a day if I need to kill time.

Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won? No. I do everything in my power to avoid confrontation. 

How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts? Meh... basically telling me that ‘you need to reblog this’ will make me not want to reblog it.

Do you like tag games? I do love them! I feel honored when asked to do them (you love me!! You really love me). But I usually save them in my draft folder and then forget about them because I’m a horrible person. And even though *I* like tag games, I’m terrified to tag others. What if I annoy them or something. If anyone is actually reading this and wouldn’t mind me tagging you, let me know :D

Do you like ask games? I did one and I was terrified the second I posted it. I honestly didn’t think that anyone would send an ask. I don’t remember how many replied but it was more than I expected which gave me warm fuzzies because that means they cared about my opinions! I do love them and would like to do more of them (as long as you don’t mind the questions going unanswered for a bit).

Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous? There are a few that I feel are ‘famous’ in their ... genres? I won’t mention names. Although that could just be me thinking that they are all worthy of being Tumblr famous.

Do you have a crush on a mutual? No? But that’s likely because I know nothing really of my mutuals other than they are awesome :)

Tags (no pressure of course!): See number 16 please and thank you...but uh.... if anyone sees this and wants to say that I tagged you, please do.