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godsfavoritescientist · 1 year

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Building off of what I wrote in my fic "Sparks," I'm really compelled by the idea of Ford genuinely no longer being interested in sailing around in a boat with Stan by the time they were seniors in high school.

I like the idea of it not being just a symptom of the resentment that had been building between them, nor it being a dream of Ford's that only paled in comparison to west coast tech, but it being a genuine loss of interest on Ford's end. I think it complicates things even further in some really juicy ways.

Like, imagine going through high school slowly losing more and more interest in the dream you've shared with your twin and only friend ever since you were little kids. How do you break it to him? How do you explain it to him without making it sound like a rejection of him? Without it making him hate you?

How do you explain it without it feeling like a spit in the face to all the hard work he's put into a plan that started out as a way of him comforting you by telling you "it doesn't matter what people say about you, you're going to be an adventurer who sails away into the sunset and never has to hear their mockery ever again, and there will be babes and treasure and heroism, and then they'll all see how cool you really are!"

And all through high school you think to yourself, "he's going to move on to more realistic dreams any day now, and then I won't have to say anything about it!" But no matter how many times you mention something else he could do with his life that he seems interested in, or bring up the challenging logistics of traveling around long-term in a boat, he sounds just as committed to the childhood dream as ever, and completely oblivious to how apprehensive you sound.

So resentment grows, little by little. Because that's easier than confronting the soul-crushing levels of guilt that are building up inside of you, every time you don't take an opportunity to tell him you don't want to do the plan anymore. You don't have a single person in your life who modeled how to have difficult conversations for you. As far as you know, having this conversation with Stan would crush him into tiny little pieces and then he would hate you forever, and you can't stand the idea of losing the only friend you've ever had.

So tensions grow. A lack of interest turns into a bitter resentment that, if you were really being honest with yourself, is directed more at yourself than it is at Stan.

And then the falling-out happens, and it seems like you were proven right. Stan hates you now, and he's never going to forgive you for giving up on his dream. But two can play that game, so you try to hate him too. Because if you hate him too, then maybe it won't hurt as much that he never came back. That he never even turned up at school, or by the boat, or in through your bedroom window in the middle of the night. He knows what dad's like, and how he says impulsive exaggerated things when he's angry, and haven't you both dealt with his harsh words countless times before and been able to dust yourselves off and joke about it later? So why isn't he back at home, joking with you about how absurd your dad acted that night, being impossible and belligerent about ruining your dream, but at least now you're even, because you've ruined his dream too.

And now imagine you find out he risked the lives of everyone in existence to bring you back, right after you had accepted your fate was to die killing Bill. It would be terrifying and confusing and infuriating. If he cared so much, why didn't he do something to reconnect with you sooner? Why did he ignore you in favor of trying to make it big without you? Why didn't he take the infinitely safer and simpler action of reaching out to you without you having to track down his address and send a desperate plea for help? You were convinced that he didn't care enough to bother with you unless you had an important enough reason for him to come. But even then, he thought your plans were stupid. He didn't want anything to do with you, not even with the world at stake.

Did he save your life out of guilt? Does he pity you that much? It doesn't add up with what he did in the decade leading up to shoving you into the portal. And the dissonance between the version of him in your head that hates you, and the man who held out his arms to welcome you back to your home dimension, is so strong that you feel like you're being lied to again, like you're back in the depths of gaslighting and manipulation that Bill put you through, even though there's no way that's what Stan is trying to do... right? You can't figure it out, so you run away from it. You don't want to know the answer to whether or not Stan hates you, because you don't know which answer would hurt more, so you try to make him hate you more than ever, because at least then you would know for sure how he feels.

And in the end, after he sacrifices his memories for you, and for the world, things seem clearer. The layers upon layers of confusion and anger and hurt seem to have washed away like drawings in the sand, leaving behind the simple truth: that you two had an argument, and didn't move past it for forty years, and despite everything you put each other through, you both still want to re-connect.

So you sail away in a boat together.

And at first, it's wonderful. It's exactly what you want. It feels like an apology to Stan, and a thank-you for saving the world, and a once-in-a-lifetime chance to heal the rift between you two, and it's good to be back on earth, and you wonder why you ever doubted the dream you two once had.

But then, after the first long journey you spend on the sea together, when you get back home to dry land, Stan is already talking about planning your next adventure out on the open sea. He recaps every adventure you had on the first trip, over and over again, and he wants to chat with you all through the morning and long into the night, and you don't have the words to explain to yourself that you don't have enough social battery for this, and suddenly you're slipping back into the horrifyingly familiar feeling of Stan being overbearing and needing space from him and how could you think that? How could you think that about him after everything he's done for you and everything he's forgiven you for? But the longer this goes on, the more you realize that you still don't want to spend the rest of your life sailing around with Stan. It's great fun in moderation, but the idea of your whole life revolving around Stan and going on adventures with Stan and being in a boat with Stan with no time to be by yourself thinking about your own things and figuring out your own dreams makes your skin crawl with a claustrophobic kind of panic that you still don't know how to put into words forty years after the first time this feeling grabbed you by the throat and ruined your friendship with Stanley.

But the first time this happened, it nearly ruined his life forever. You can't let yourself feel this. You don't feel this. You're happy to spend the rest of your life fulfilling Stan's lifelong dream, and making up for the time you crushed his dream, and sure, maybe he crushed your dream once too, and maybe it would be nice for him to support your dreams like you're now doing for him, but you can't say that. He saved the universe, and it would be horrible and ungrateful and cruel for you to try to voice these feelings, especially when you don't know how to voice your feelings without it making other people feel like you twisted a knife into their gut. So you try to pretend the feeling isn't there.

You go out on a boat with Stan again. You planned out another incredible journey together, and this should be fun, and you should be happy about this, but the unspoken feeling you shoved as far down in yourself as it could possibly go is eating you alive. The worst part? Stan is starting to notice. You have never been good at hiding your emotions. The trick to it has always been to convince yourself you don't feel it at all, and not think about it, and that has always worked like a charm. But whenever the emotion claws its way back up to the forefront of your mind, you can tell Stan knows something is wrong. So you can't even give him the happy ending he deserves. You can't even convince him that you want to be here on the open seas forever with him, like he deserves. And you keep trying and trying to hide it, but Stan keeps asking in roundabout ways, like "You're being awfully quiet, sixer," and "whats that look on your face?" and eventually it comes exploding out of you like a shaken-up soda bottle dropped on its cap.

And then it's like you're back at home in New Jersey again, standing in the living room while dad grabs Stanley by the shirt. It all comes pouring out of you, in the worst possible way, with the worst possible phrasing, like a pandora's box of monstrousness, and Stan tries to fight back against the sting of your words, but you're made out of acid and you're burning through him and you can see it on his face, and there's never any coming back from this, not this time, you'll just have to either jump into the ocean or become a monster forever, so Stan can hate you more easily again, and-

-and at the end of the outburst, you're still on a boat in the middle of nowhere in the ocean with your brother, in dangerous waters, and you have things to do to keep the boat running smoothly.

You can't run away from him. He can't run away from you. You're stuck here for at least a couple more weeks, even if you turned around and sailed back towards shore right away.

And the thing that compels me so much here, despite how unbelievably angsty it all is, is that it sets up a situation wherein the Stans might end up forced to actually address the decades of resentment and confusion and wanting-to-reconnect-throughout-it-all that they thought they could gloss over and heal with enough time spent adventuring together on a boat. They might end up forced to actually address the crux of the issue that drove them apart in the first place: Ford wanting a little more space to feel like his own person, and to feel like he's able to have his own dreams, too.

It wouldn't happen easily, nor right away, but if they were stuck together on a little boat in the middle of nowhere surrounded by magical creatures they have to protect each other from in order to make it back home alive, then after they had one fight where they brought up all the things they silently agreed to never bring up again, it would probably happen many more times, and each time it would leave them both angrier at each other than ever, until eventually something honest slipped through amidst all the saying-anything-except-what-they-mean bickering. And once enough of these honest moments slipped through, then they would have a thread to tug on to start to unravel the gargantuan knot of their decades of unresolved conflicts.

And then, eventually, maybe Stan could learn that he can have a good friendship with his brother without needing to be glued to him at the hip, and Ford needing a certain amount of alone time doesn't mean he dislikes him or wants to abandon him, and Ford could learn that he can be honest and have a meaningful connection with someone without it driving them away and making them hate him.

#succumbed to the stan twins angst visions and wrote 2000 words about this #ford pines #ford meta #this turned into a character analysis that almost reads like a fic #godswriting #<- i need to change my writing tag to this #something bothers me a little bit about the solution to their conflict being 'ford appreciates stan more now so he is now fine with-#-boat adventures with stan'. to me it leaves the initial conflict of 'he doesnt want to do that anymore' unresolved #obviously you could easily argue that ford never stopped wanting to go on boat adventures with stan and he just couldnt justify it to-#-himself when compared to the opportunity at west coast tech. but that has one less layer of conflict #compared to the possibility that he truly was not interested in boat adventures anymore. ESPECIALLY if its a manifestation of him #feeling suffocated by the whole dynamic-twins-duo thing #its normal to start wanting a little bit more space especially at that age. to want to have space to figure out who you are #the healthy thing would have been them talking about it and figuring out a compromise. like 'when ford needs space he can spend a few hours #-alone without stan being worried the whole time that it means ford hates him' and 'we still spend x amount of time working on the boat and #-we still chat on the way to and from school every day and hang out at the beach on weekends'#like of fucking course it was never about hating stan or about wanting to get away from him because of who he is as a person!#he literally just wanted to have a little bit of breathing room to be his own separate person. he just didn't know how to put it into words #I really think the crux of it all was them not knowing how to navigate that balance between independence and identity while staying close #so ford misattributing/reducing that feeling to 'I dont have the exact same dream as stan anymore. why does he still have that dream. oh no #feels like a good way of giving that conflict a tangible aspect to it thats easy for the stans to point at and talk about as a way of-#-alluding to the REAL core of the conflict between them.#and of course the show never says 'they sail around the world for the rest of their lives 24/7' so it's not like it Actually Conflicts with #-my interpretation of the conflict and how it should be resolved. but since its the last thing we see happen between them when theyre given #their happy ending. I feel compelled to say 'hey I know them living in the shack together and traveling in a boat every single year sounds-#-really fun and like a satisfying ending but I think they should have a Little Bit more space from eachother than that. Hanging out almost-#-daily but not literally being in the same house and same boat for the rest of their lives. bc if stan was ok with ford asking for that-#-little bit of space and if ford didnt panic and isolate himself from everyone whenever he needs like one hour of alone time? that would-#-feel like a big piece of the puzzle fitting into place for their conflict resolution and growth as characters. to me #and I think they deserve to have all the tied-up-loose-ends and resolved-conflicts and character-growth in the world.

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danwhobrowses · 10 months

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nothing to see here just a crazy shipper guy going crazy over Callowmoore under the bit, if that's not for you then go about your business

So fellow Callowmoores how we feelin' this morning/evening? Because it's evening right now and I'm still bouncing off the walls in my mind

The one post could not keep me contained! No seriously the amount of tags I put in hit a limit and doesn't show them all

I mean yes we didn't get a kiss (yet) but goddamn we got so much, it has possessed me, deranged me, it's leaking outta my brain I gotta talk about it, so either jump out or buckle up because this overflow is gonna be long

First off I just gotta talk about how so many things almost lined up how I imagined them because it just makes it feel like they looked into my head and thought 'hey that's kinda good'. Like, I wanted Fearne to take the shard at Mori's, it was a safer space for her than the Ziggurat which is tainted by bad memories (this and other campaigns), I just didn't expect it so soon, thought they'd at least have a full rest first. In fact I had a whole scene in my mind where in a desperate gambit Delilah took over Laudna while she slept and just knocked on Ashton's door in a form of dread going 'where's the shard Ashton?'. It's key to this I promise not only because I enjoyed the idea of Ashton not taking any of Delilah's shit (plus for you Imodnas out there the mental scene involves Ashton whispering 'Imogen's in danger' to wake her, they also ask where Paté is because they still have that 'Paté is Delilah' theory) but it also expanded on the possible helplessness Ashton would have being unable to assist Fearne with taking the shard

'You're a child, Ashton. A blunt instrument that charges blindly into harm, would you really risk Fearne's life to earn her forgiveness? You know what it can do, what happens when you can't protect her from it?'

Of course, Ashton would never give Delilah the shard, which would frustrate Delilah since she can't manipulate them, but the comment weighs on Ashton a little. Which is when the whole waking Laudna happens and she leaves, but Fearne is in his room (the Vox Machina bathtub scene being inspiration), having asked to sleep there for comfort and asks them if it worries them. Which is where I often got to use this quote

'I don't believe in fate, but I believe in you'

And it sticks with me because it's super romantic, but also on-brand for Ashton, there were variations like the longer 'things only affect our path if we choose to believe they do; fate is complicated, the gods don't give a fuck, and I don't wanna even think about legacy anymore, I don't believe in them, but I believe in you' but then the next morning comes and Ashton gives her the ring, since I forgot about attunement there were instances where it was a sneaky sleight of hand thing, and Fearne completes the process. Of course, with weeks to go on there were a lot more scenarios like Fearne pickpocketing the Ashton doll to practice talking to and putting it back, Ashton seeking Mori for advice, herbal tea visions where Ashton entered their own mind and encounters the empress while on the outside Delilah possesses Laudna to try and drain the power from them, one where the shard having been reshaped through Ashton is less intense on Fearne for the first 4 rounds (since they blew up on the fifth) because Ashton's essence is containing and dissipating the hostile energy, and one where the group secretly vote against Ashton being there for Fearne taking the shard (Imogen, Laudna, and Chetney 3 to 2 against Orym and FCG) but Fearne as the decider pulls them over because she needs them there, stuff like that I'm sure fanfic writers could consume to their heart's content (and are free to, go nuts). But these scenes stood out because it had elements of stuff that are linked to or actually happened in the episode; Fearne does take the shard, Ashton endorses that Fearne is the only one who can take it, Ashton gives her the ring and Shattered Vigor is apparently a thing where Ashton is practically taking Fearne's pain to protect her, that alone is enough to go insane over.

And can we talk about the ring for a moment, because like THE RING. I'm not talking about generically either I mean that this ring has been significant to the shard saga ever since Ashton claimed it. It was found on the corpse of someone infused into stone, into the earth, right between the whole eidolons stuff where Ashton connected with an Earth elemental and then the Grau Dashari stuff with the crystals they merged with their hammer and then the Bor'dor incident, that could've easily been a titan-based punishment. Also, Ring of Volcanic Flesh, like Ashton's stone arm? And if that wasn't enough, what was the first thing Fearne stole from Ashton when they reunited? The ring, the act that broke down Ashton's walls as they let out a most heartfelt 'I missed you, so much' the ring that Fearne stole right off of Ashton's fingers only for them to willingly put in her hand to protect her, because just as they said at the clock tower, everything they have belongs to her. And while legacy and hubris had a part in the shard incident, part of it was also for Fearne. I don't believe there's any situation where if Fearne said she wanted the shard at the clock tower Ashton would've said no; Ashton knows that Fearne was key to the shard dislodging in the lava, they sensed it was in a way key to both of them, but there was no reality where Ashton was gonna force Fearne to take the shard if she didn't want it. And yes it blew up in their face, much like Fearne they saw an image of themselves they didn't want to be, their soul broke with the realisation that they hurt the one person they never wanted to hurt, but thanks to Percy they also realised that they had to change. It wasn't enough to see everyone else having someone at the reunion and internalizing 'if someone has to not come back it's gotta be me' they had to make steps towards being the person the Hells needs them to be, someone who can come back with them.

Which is where last episode started setting it up, and I didn't speak much about it at the time because other than the pretty plain 'I would've rather died than hurt Fearne' insinuation (which in turn was confessed to save Fearne from falling) there was only crumbs that could be interpreted other ways; for instance Birdie's tale with Athion and Olly being somewhat of a parallel to Tevan and Ashton, the formers wooing Birdie and Fearne with temptations of indulgence while the latters drawing their attention by being subjects of intrigue, defiance and kindness, plus they saved the latters (Birdie literally via escaping the prisons and Fearne emotionally and literally), or before the Orym conversation when Ashton takes 'one last look' Taliesin looks towards Ashley last. But I knew there was poetic significance to Ashton failing the communication trial, Marisha sensed the vibe too, but even though Fearne was nervous about guiding Ashton, the fault fell to poor dice rolls (and Liam not keeping shtum and summoning thunderwasps) and once again Ashton in an attempt to prove themselves falls flat on their ass in front of the person they most want to prove it to. And that did break my heart a little I must admit because as poetic as it was who hasn't been there? Ashton's journey of proving themselves has been laden with failure too; being unable to protect anyone from Otohan led to them almost being TPK'd, being unable to keep the group together at the Malleus Key led to the group being scattered, and then Team Trauma's stuff - Orym was despondent and Laudna's a wreck, got a random 'shepherd's boy', a powerful Cobalt Soul teen prodding about the solstice and all of Deni$e here added as mainly combat support, loners but no leaders, Dawnfather angel thinks them insignificant, dark spirits trying to consume their only leads about the Hishari - and the moment Ashton started to trust Bor'dor after the pipe vision what happens? Betrayal, Hunger of the Shadow and Delilah is let back in, Ashton couldn't even keep Laudna safe from herself, they reunite, try to sort out their shit with their past, discover that they might have a destiny to fulfill and end up being too willing to die in place of others, and unable to protect their new family from themselves, because of these recent failures it was important that Ashton proved themselves in the trust trial.

And thankfully they did, there was no way to prove that anyone was a Doppelganger and yet, Ashton still trusted Fearne; twice saving her from the flora even when told to leave her behind. And they were close to another failure when the branch was snatched - after their attempts to keep it safe by throwing it in the pool alone - but they trusted Chet and Orym (father/son duo) to cover more ground while they helped Fearne. And even when FCG told Ashton 'I think it's Fearne', and when Imogen was untrusting of Fearne, Ashton abandoned their held action to save FCG from the brambles because they knew Fearne could be trusted. They trusted Imogen to connect to Ruidus and as mentioned endorsed Fearne to take the shard.

And sure, in my mental scenarios Ashton gives her the shard, doing the same she did for them, but I did say almost like how I imagined. And Ashton still did everything they could, plus Imogen comforted their visible worry, but once it's complete they're just in awe, and then their own spark awakens through her touch, a touch they were unafraid of even at the threat of newfound fire, and now for the first time ever they feel whole. She saved them, and now they finally feel complete, and now this time Fearne is agape, Fearne is in awe, and everything she had hoped Ashton would gain from taking the shard before has come to fruition through her, and it's just, joy, pure incorruptible joy, a kindred connection that belongs to just them. Plus a big piece of paper for all the new powers they are excited to learn about from each other, with each other, and while Matt can talk about there being risks to them because you gotta balance the combat the narrative significance is still there.

But dammit they need to kiss, I've yelled it enough times in my head; like the lava, the clock tower, before and after Fearne took the shard, the only times they did kiss was before the solstice (the forehead kiss) and the ziggurat and both preceded bad times, they deserve a proper one, not one at risk of being a goodbye, something precious, irreplaceable and theirs to have, to share. And I don't know if they should use the patented 'can I kiss you?' or take a tip from BeauYasha and use 'I wanna kiss you so bad right now' or find something else to make their own but I desire it so much, had it happened this ep I probably would've melted out of my seat. They're awkward and nervous but they gotta take the leap, Ashton needs to realise they're loved and maybe even be told that they deserve it even when they feel they don't, and Fearne has to take a risk too, the shard put doubt to her decisions but that doesn't mean she can run from her strong emotions. It doesn't fix everything of course, but sometimes people heal better together than apart. As a currently vorbed half-elf once said 'drink the courage first'.

Curiosity continues to send me after the ep, and while some people are attempting to blemish or rain on the parade (I mean, I try not to speak ill of other ships in general, but if you're gonna be negative about it you can at least do it in your lane, your tags not ours) I am still just riding the high of the possibilities. True, the unknown can make me nervous, and I will admit the group has to give Ashton and Fearne space (they're just excited, and with the bloody bridge hinting to be a final moon-based battle there is that sense of urgency) Imodna had nudges sure but they have been a bit heavy-handed and kinda chaperoned around them, Fearne and Ashton seldom get time alone, one can hope they can get that time with each other next episode.

#critical role #cr 3 #cr 3 spoilers #c3e80 #callowmoore #ashton greymoore #fearne calloway #ashton x fearne #fearne x ashton #rockwild #bells hells #for anyone who read the whole thing props to you I understand I unloaded a lot of crazy onto you I'm sorry #I have questions about the new powers too; does Mister get an upgrade? Can elementals be summoned? Is it like a Sorcerer multiclass?#do primordials have a equivalent to divine smite? Can it be used on other champions or Predathos?#how do the divines react to this? Asmodeus wanted them for the Calamity and Dawnfather does seem to hold grudges...Wildmother not so much #and do the titans themselves feel adverse to stopping Predathos? Since it aids their enemy that essentially colonized on them #I fear fuckery next episode of course but today's a good day and I will not let anyone ruin that #I will ride this high as long as I can though but I do also need to sleep I got a travel weekend to do visiting relatives #I am so consumed by this ship that it rivals my own birthday as the best thing to happen this week #I am absolutely unashamedly not normal about them #tag bonus: matching shirts! Precious/Irreplaceable and Adorable/Ignorant also all the Hells have 'if lost return to Nancy' shirts #taliesin jaffe #ashley johnson

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daddy-long-legssss · 10 days

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i took a sick day and took myself out to breakfast and baby waved me. life feels good again.

#im very lucky to get paid sick days (which is fucked that people don’t get paid days to begin with) but they don’t carry over #and work has been so stupidly busy and it will only get busier #and im changing roles at work which is nice (i guess) but its just a job and more responsibility #and im trying to always not treat my job like it’s my life or something that defines me or the only place where i give value #cause that’s not true but that’s what the corporate world WANTS YOU TO DO #and feel guilty when you take time for yourself cause if you aren’t around things will fall apart #but all of this to say: if you get paid sick days please take them. even if you aren’t sick or just need a break.#it’s so needed. life is so crazy busy and weekends are enough time to do everything #so taking a day to do the things you need to do or (like something I need to learn how to do) do nothing at all and just chill #my dream sick day is having the house to myself and i can take a bath and then go back in bed and read fic all day #and eat pasta #but one thing at a time

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jabeur · 4 months

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all the wta singles matches in a slam being during the day is evil many people have jobs and why would i spend my evening watching a domestic abuser instead of paolini rybakina

#makes me so mad #yes sure keep giving the night session that for many people is all they can watch - again. people have jobs - to the abuser that shouldn't #even be playing #and let women play at 3pm which like. okay it's fine i know most matches have to be played during the day that's how tennis works there's #too many matches for it to work like sports like football or whatever where games are played in the evening + the weekend #but god you're giving all the night sessions to the men lmao #i remember reading a blog post or article about how the implementing of night sessions is a class issue and i so agree #cause yeah i get that players playing til very late isn't great for them #but tennis is already a very inaccessible sport. and the fact most of it happens during daytime when most people again work doesn't help #and since objectively you can't have all of it happen past like 5pm or something. the matches you (the slam/atp/wta) DO choose for the nigh #session says a lot. a lotttt #and it's always fucking zverev #sorry for the rant i'm just pissed off #nico rambles #abuse tw #only mentioned but stay safe

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keylovesstuff · 5 days

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It's Finally Finished hehe

Little Events-Chapter 5

AO3

FFN

Peach hummed softly tapping the end of the pen lightly against her cheek. The Princess could feel a headache coming along as she reviewed some of the papers scattered across her desk. There had to be some information that she was overlooking and not considering all the facts. Placing the pen down, she pushed herself away from the desk and slouched back into the chair, rubbing her temples, she let out another long sigh and for a few moments, she let her mind wonder. It's been four years since she's taken on the role as her people's leader. Only In the last couple of years did she begin to feel confident in making and handling decisions on her own with her team of advisors backing them up. Policies were either modified or removed as they all deemed fit.

Peach had to admit that she was proud to see just how far her home has come from her childhood to the current day. What was once a small and humble community consisting of thirty people now has hundreds. Tiny tents were now fully built and furnished mushroom houses and all the toads were finding their place in the Kingdom. Through alliances she's made over the past few years, some toads moved to different areas. Those were more bittersweet and the first few times it happened, she took it to heart that she was doing something wrong that made them want to leave. It took a long conversation with Toadsworth about where life takes others sometimes for her to understand and that she shouldn't take such actions personally. There were times she felt a little envy for them being able to leave and make their home elsewhere.

Sometimes she would get in her head about remaining in the Mushroom kingdom till old age. The idea wasn't necessarily a bad thing since that's what came with pledging her life to the people as they had done to her all those years ago and of course she'd do it all over again. It's just that at times she wished she'd got to experience more things before taking on all that responsibility. Maybe some time away would do her good, three days would be enough. It had been awhile since she'd been out or even just seen anyone.

At that thought with another sigh she pulled herself up to the desk once again and rested her cheek in the palm of her left hand picking up one the pieces of paper with the other, glancing at it not being really bothered to read. Not that she particularly wanted to see anyone even with the fact that the only two people she could think of were probably busy with their own things. In the few letters she's read from Bowser, she remembered him telling her about finally succeeding in creating an egg. That part she was quite happy with, what annoyed her the most about him though was the persistent proposing in both the letters and anytime they met face to face and that started not even a week after she ended her engagement with Haru. It's been two years and she still wasn't sure if she'd ever have the confidence to show her face to him or step foot in his kingdom again after the way she broke things off. The King and Queen of Flower kingdom for its credit didn't seem to mind renegotiating their alliances via letters. Haru had sent letters of his own, seeing if they could arrange some sort of meet-ups, to which she'd always write back about being busy.

Shaking her head she refocused her attention to the matter at hand as it was approaching the early part of the evening. The summer was approaching and it was looking to be a little hotter than the last one. Seemed like a simple solution she told the council earlier in the day, she'd look over the paperwork and see what sort of power ups there were and if needed would see if there was any way to have them imported within the next few weeks. In the three hours of looking through what seemed like the same thing over again nothing seemed to be clicking. Sometimes she wished there was a better way to keep things organized for easy searching instead of having to dig through filed paperwork. It was a Longshot she thought as she pulled out a map of the entire land, her eyes tracing the areas in the blue regions. It took her about twenty minutes between her pinpointing the source she had to go through and referring to a book on everything they gathered over years.

"It would take a couple days there and back even with the shortest route it seems" Peach spoke aloud to herself as she continued studying the map while marking multiple routes to the destination with the pen. "I have no choice though, I took an oath to do everything in my power" she reaffirmed to herself.

There was just one thing or rather person who she'd have to convince to allow her to go on this mission. Peach took a few minutes to prepare all her findings, herself , and Think about what she could possibly say. With one final exhale she gathered up everything and left her office and was faced with the closed door across the hall. Raising a gloved hand up she gave it a knock and opened it when the voice gave her permission to enter.

"A pleasant evening to you my dear Princess wouldn't you agree?" The mustached Toad behind the desk with his own paperwork asked.

Peach nodded her head in response and took a seat on the other side when he motioned for her to sit down.

"I was just about to come check on you once I finished up here. It would seem that it's one of the rare times you've got done first" he said with a chuckle, writing some last minute notes before closing the book and giving her his full attention. "You are finished right dear? I noticed you bought some materials" he pointed a finger at the objects she held loosely in her arms.

"I have just about everything completed. Though I could use some of your help reviewing it once more before presenting it all to the council tomorrow morning. If you don't mind, that is." Peach told him while laying both the book and map down on the table.

The Princess figured this would be the best way to open the discussion with Toadsworth. This wasn't the first time she asked him to read over the details of plans she wanted to put in motion. There were times he'd pick out the tiniest bits she had overlooked or ignored completely. It also wasn't the first time she asked him to review speeches she had written out before presenting it to everyone. These weren't firsts and certainly wouldn't be the last. Toadsworth was her trustworthy advisor for a reason, he'd give the truth to her straight. Been doing that all her life actually, she couldn't ask for no one better.

If there was one thing she could get him to see more often, it would be for him to see past the tiny little girl he'd constantly worried about all those years ago and acknowledge her for the strong leader that sits before him now.

"Of course Princess. I'm ready whenever you're ready to start." He folded his hands in front of him and sat them on the desk.

Toadsworth let Peach explain the first draft of her plan and If it wasn't for the growing concern and hesitant nod of his head she saw from the corner of her eye the longer she went on, the Princess would've finally thought she came up with the perfect plan from the start.

"And so you see while we never had use for the ice flower before, It would be very useful now and I think it would be for the best if we add it in our monthly imports" The Princess concluded finally looking him in the eyes. "The trip will take a few days but, I trust you and the council will be able to take care of everything in my absence." She added.

The silence between them lasted for about two minutes. The mustached toad let out a long sigh removing his glasses and placing it on the desk. With his hands crossed and placed under his chin he gathered his words.

"You are asking for quite a lot out of us my Princess as I'm sure you're aware of, yes?" Toadsworth asked and she nodded. "And while I'm confident in our abilities to handle everything, are you certain you have thought it all through?" He questioned, prompting her to look everything over.

"I believe so," Peach said, now more uncertain than when she initially came in at first.

Toadsworth had certainly seen something she hadn't considered and instead of just saying it he wanted her to figure it out on her own. Peach found it a bit annoying when he insisted on doing that on one hand but understood it completely on the other hand. As a leader she had to think outside the box and about all the possibilities before advisors bought them up. Always had to have an answer to everything.

So what was he trying to get her to see? Was the question that ran through her mind as she reviewed the materials.

"Well we already have an alliance in place for a little over six months now. Sure we haven't traded resources but I'm certain I can set up something. While we have an abundance of all different types of mushrooms, the same could be said for their flowers." She talks it out while flipping through her notes. "Their King does seem like a reasonable person to agree with if that's what you're getting at" she told Toadsworth as she skimmed through the Penguins profile.

"You've only met him in person once, Princess. How can you be so certain? You are aware that just having a feeling that it'll just work out doesn't guarantee anything without having the actions to back it up" Toadsworth pointed out.

"While I can't be 100% certain it will all work out, it's all I can think of and I'm willing to give it all I got." She told him honestly cause as he's pointed out she really was just going off the feeling that everything will just fall into place. "I can write up something that no one could pass on," Peach added, hoping that would satisfy him.

"Princess you've never used an ice flower before-" Toadsworth started but the princess cut him off.

"The effects aren't as different compared to the fire flower I've noticed and I've been using that for years now. See?" She told him as she showed off the notes on another page. "Sure there might be a curve to it but, I'm confident in my abilities to master it" she assured him.

"Have you thought about any other options if this doesn't work out?" Toadsworth asked her again.

Oh so he was really wondering if she had thought of a plan b and maybe even a c is what went through Peach's mind.

"Truthfully no and I know it's not the most ideal way to go about it but I haven't gotten a yes or no yet. Until I get something I can't properly come up with other solutions." Peach closed the book and rolled up the map. "Just trust me to do it this way first and if for some reason I come back empty handed, you and the council can do some research in my absence and once I return we can all look it over" she told him.

"You will take a couple of the royal guards with you, yes?" He asked and she looked like she was thinking against the idea. "Please Princess, if you're placing the responsibility of the Kingdom to me here then I want others there to ensure your safety." He got up from his seat and walked around the desk in front of her grabbing her hands.

"Yes Toadsworth I will. As they will be there to ensure my safety, I will do the same for them." Peach Promised him, squeezing his hands. "I will prepare that speech and turn in for the evening. I want to try to leave by the afternoon tomorrow and I will be back in three days." She let go and stood from the chair picking up the stuff she bought in.

"You had better or I'll journey to the Snow Kingdom myself to see what's taking you so long. I may not have a bike like you but I'm not beneath walking or finding any other means to get there you know" Toadsworth told her.

"I know you will," Peach laughed though she knew from experience that he was serious. Toadsworth was literally the embodiment of not allowing old age to hold him back from doing anything being in his fifties. "Please enjoy the rest of your evening. I'll see you in the meeting tomorrow morning." She bent down for him to hug her the best he could with stuff in her hands.

After she had left and he heard her office door close he went back to sit behind his desk for a while in silence. It would only be for four days he told himself but that still felt too long for him if he was honest. The Princess is their leader though and as her most trusted advisor, he had to have complete faith in everything she does.

________

The Princess had everything and more with the insistence of Toadsworth ready to go. With the climate being the way it was in ice kingdom she would not be underdressed or returning back home ill if he could help it. After one final check of her bike and the sidecar the toad guards would be occupying, They all bid their farewells and left.

Operations for the next couple of days ran smooth but to the elder toad the hours felt like forever. On one hand taking care of all the citizens brought back memories of the older days. On the other hand it also felt unusual without their ruler around. The members of the council seemed to agree with Toadsworth sentiment when he bought it up. That final night before her scheduled return, he was preparing to sleep and was anxiously looking forward to her return. Toadsworth had great faith that she would succeed but wanted to hear about the journey from her own mouth.

Toadsworth deliberately took long on the last of his own personal work when the Princess had not returned by the afternoon. He wanted to be the first to welcome her home and was willing to wait as long as it took to make it happen. Going as far to even leave both the light on and door to his office ajar to capture her attention as she returned to her private chambers. It was going on 11 at night before he finally heard the distant sound of the castle door open followed by heavy footsteps. That puzzled him for a moment but not enough for him to leave his office to investigate. The Princess had the guards she initially left with to help carry whatever they had bought from their trip. If they needed extra muscle power they surely would've sent for some of the staff members who resided in the castle.

"Oh dear, it would seem that these numbers are slightly low compared to last month." Toadsworth talked aloud pulling out his mini notebook making a note to bring it up in tomorrow's meeting. At the sound of his door opening up the rest of the way he didn't look up from his writing. "Welcome home your Majesty, I trust your trip went well and you must be exhausted." He smiled fondly with a chuckle and only after looking up did that look get placed with one of disdain at the person who entered.

"By the sound of that statement, I take it Her Majesty's out?" The Koopa King asked closing the door shut behind him after walking all the way inside.

"To what does the Kingdom owe a visit from you at such a late hour of the night King Bowser? Something urgent I presume?" Toadsworth responded with a couple of questions of his own. Doing his best to remain respectful.

"If Marrying your Princess is something you'd consider urgent or important, you could say that's why I'm here." He said a sinister smile slowly gracing his face "Thing is, I've grown more than tired of the rejections. If you know what I mean."

"If you're expecting me to talk her into accepting a proposal from you, then you're sorely mistaken Bowser." Toadsworth raised his voice a little higher slamming his tiny fist on the table. "In fact I would rather drop dead myself before giving you any sort of a blessing of mine" at that moment he got up from his desk and was just inches away from the giant dragon turtle.

Bowser was not at all intimidated by the older man getting all up in his personal space. The King crossed his arms over his chest as if to control himself, though his tail swayed side to side slowly. Toadsworth briefly took notice but that didn't stop him from backing down or finishing speaking.

"That's my final answer to the matter." Toadsworth finished fixing his beady black eyes with Bowser's red ones. After a few tense seconds of silence, he went to open the door and motioned him out with his arm. "Now if you would like to be kind enough to exit, I have more important matters to attend to as it is getting late."

Toadsworth was initially shocked that Bowser was following orders from him of all people. He knew that was too good to be true. Just a couple feet out the door, Bowser paused and slowly did a 180 facing the mustached toad with a threatening expression that sent a chill down his spine.

"If your dead body is all it takes for our marriage to be" He told him sadistically backing Toadsworth into the office once more. "Consider it done" he finished gravely.

With a spin of his body, Bowser's tail made contact with Toadsworth's right arm, sending him flying across the room. His body slammed hard against the wall first before plopping on the ground. Everything happened so fast, he could barely process the sensation of his bone breaking or the piercing scream he let out waking up the entire castle.

"Don't worry it'll all be over soon" Bowser said, preparing what was looking to be a deadly fire breath.

Through blurry vision, Toadsworth closed his eyes and sent one last prayer and apology to the Princess he pledged his entire life too. All at once memories of her flashed through his eyes. While the majority were good ones, there were also some regrets of not handling things better. Still he prepared to meet his burning end and was surprised when it never came.

"Toadsworth!" A desperate scream of his name from an all too familiar voice was the last thing he heard before Bowser was forced away from his body with a swift kick to the face.

The last thing he saw was the back of her. Though he couldn't see her face, he imagined she wore an uncharacteristic expression of anger on her face. The Halberd she held was in an attack position as it seemed she was waiting for Bowser to make the next move.

"Princess" he all but whispered and reached out with his good hand out to her back before dropping it to the ground as Toadsworth's body finally succumbed to unconsciousness.

“How lovely it is for you to show up just in time to accept my wedding proposal, Princess." Bowser started standing up and brushing off specks of dust. "As you may be able to tell, your dear Toadsworth isn't too keen on the idea of our union." He nodded in the direction of the fallen toad and relished at the sight of Peach gripping the weapon tighter.

"This is the only chance I'm giving you to leave peacefully" Peach told him, voice steady with a threatening undertone.

"Oh really? And what are you going to do about it if I don't?" Bowser chuckled, cracking both fists in the palm of each hand. "You know you never stood a chance against when it comes to hand to hand combat" with that he cracked his neck on both sides

"I don't care about that right now. If you're planning on returning home in one piece, Leave now" she said again louder with emphasis on the last two words taking a few steps in his direction.

"All you gotta do is say yes." At his words, Peach stopped and her face scrunched up in confusion at the change in demeanor. "Become my Queen, My Kingdom has it all...except you" he explained coming closer to her.

Bowser was caught slightly off guard when Peach shoved the weapon just under his chin. He lifted his face up as she moved the halberd and put both hands up.

"Even if you had this world's most invincible artifact, I would never marry you" she told him with so much conviction in her voice.

"So you choose to go down fighting? I must admit that I like that in a partner. " Bowser said, raising a finger onto the blade prompting her to lower it a bit. "You'll be saying yes in a little while" with his other hand he grabbed the shaft and yanked it along with her forward.

With a yelp, Peach's grip loosened and the next moment she was across the room by the door. Bowser dropped the weapon to the ground in front of him. At that moment about five more toad guards showed up to her aid. One of the two that journeyed with her to the ice kingdom had returned with the native flower in hand.

"Master Toadsworth" a guard had called out and started in the elders direction.

Time seemed to be moving fast and slow all at once for Peach to take in. One moment she saw Bowser preparing to send a breath of fire in the other direction. The next moment she didn't even register, demanding the toad to pass her the flower. A few seconds after activating its power with her current attire changing white and pale blue in color she sped their way just as Bowser released his fire. Forming an ice in front of her people with one hand, the fire made impact shattering it into smaller pieces leaving the toads unharmed. With her other hand she sent ice blasts the Koopa King's way encasing his entire body in ice. Entirely immobilized, Peach worked on catching her breath walking towards him, only stopping to bend down to pick up the halberd.

"So this is how I meet my end" He laughed darkly as she once again held the weapon to his neck. Sensing her hesitation, he continued "Go ahead and do it Princess. My entire army will be here not even a day later after word of my death spreads. No amount of power ups in the world will be able to protect you or this Kingdom" Bowser moved his head up the best he could given his position to give her a cleaner cut.

Peach was silent. Thinking about what the next best course of action should be. Part of her mind was telling her to follow the movements through to be rid of him for good. At that she pulled the weapon away slightly to gather some force. The other part of her mind insisted that this wasn't her and begged her to consider the consequences of the future. The results weren't looking too desirable if she was honest and at that, she lowered the weapon again.

"You know Peaches, with how long it's taking you to make a choice, Any chance in saving that old man's life is slipping away" Bowser delightfully reminded her of what he had done to him just moments before she showed up.

"Huh? Toadsworth?" Peach spoke, losing her train of thought and glancing back behind.

Another guard had joined the previous one and was knelt on the ground head against Toadsworth chest.

"He's breathing but barely, go get help" the guard alerted, another disappeared down the hall.

"Make your decision Peaches. Kill me now or live to face me another day." Peach looked right back at him as he spoke. "Know if you choose the second option, I'll have you living in constant fear. You'll never know when I will strike. I'm going to make you wish you said 'yes' sooner" Bowser promised.

An ice blasts to his face followed that statement. Finally he was quiet, she thought with some satisfaction. Her attention returned to Toadsworth who was being carefully attended to a few medical toads. The other guards were now at their Princesses side with their weapons pointing at the Koopa King, awaiting her command.

"I can guarantee you I won't be thinking that. You guys can stand down." Peach told the guards and they did."If this is your way of proclaiming war against me then so be it."

All that was left to do was to remove Bowser from the castle. Unfreezing him wasn't exactly an option and she couldn't exactly trust him to just leave quietly. Just as she thought to get one of their many red mushrooms to make carrying the icy King to the pipe easier, floating shapes sparkled in the air followed by Kamek appearing.

"I sensed you needed a hand my lord" He directed towards his King and with a wave of his wand, Bowser started to disappear. "The Koopa Nation looks forward to taking down your pathetic Kingdom" was the wizards last remark before he disappeared as well.

There were some matters that needed her urgent attention. After a long trip, the last thing she wanted to think about was pulling an all-nighter on royal duties. However, making sure Toadsworth was taken care of was top priority.

"Take Toadsworth to the medical wing and you guys are to do everything you can to make sure he's brought back to stable condition, Am I clear?" Though she kept her voice calm and collected, Her mind was racing with negative thoughts that it might be too late.

Minutes after everyone had left, she stood alone in his office failing to find comfort in the silence. It took her a little while longer to compose herself. A few steady breaths later, she headed out to go and be by Toadsworth side.

________

It was approaching dawn and instead of getting better, Toadsworth's condition was on a steady decline if the heartbeat on the monitor and labored breathing was any indication. The elder toad was a fighter through and through but, with old age, bouncing back from anything was a great challenge.

"Princess Peach" , one of the Doctors, called her attention after closing the door. "We've tried just about everything we can. We're not sure if there's anything else we can do" he broke the tough news to her.

"No, are you sure? Are you absolutely positive you've guys tried everything you could think of?" Peach asked as she stood up from Toadsworth bedside and sped over to the Doctor.

"All the herbal medicines known to toadkind and every power-up we've access to known to heal instantly" The doctor explained showing the clipboard of everything they did and the results.

"There has to be something we haven't tried yet. please" Peach begged frantically flipping through all the papers.

The Doctor Toad hummed deep in thought. Making a mental checklist of anything else he's missed and other stuff they haven't tried. That's when an idea hit him, it was a longshot and there wasn't a 100% guarantee that it would work but it's their only option.

"The green mushroom" The doctor started and after her question, hummed he continued "We've still been studying it and haven't discovered a concrete use for it. If you give us permission to try it on master Toadsworth...may we"

"Yes, do it please" Peach spoke, not letting him finish. "We have to try all the options no matter how slim the chance. Go get it now" she told him.

The Doctor left immediately to gather the mushroom leaving the Princess alone with Toadsworth once again. Peach returned to sir in the chair by his bedside and grabbed one of his limp hands in both of hers.

"This has to work. You have to pull through for me, Toadsworth. I still need you for so much" Peach laid her head down on their joint hands.

Everyone in the room was amazed at what the green mushroom did for a person. Toadsworth's heartbeat on the monitor returned back to normal. There were toads scribbling notes in their notepads and observing Toadsworth condition the best they could while he was under the covers. They dubbed the power up, the 1-up mushroom. Even after testing It on one person, they came to the conclusion that it had the capabilities to bring the consumer back from any near-death experiences. While it did need more tests, No one, Peach especially didn't want her people putting themselves in that predicament just to be 100% positive of what it could do. The 1-up mushroom would purely be a last resort option and she had a lot of thinking to do if she was going to share this discovery with her current or future allies.

Thinking about her current allies, there was also an uncertainty of bringing them up to speed about Bowser's declaration of war on her Kingdom. Rulers had already been skeptical about forming alliances with her nation based on the ties she had with the Darklands before, what would happen now? Not just that Peach thought, it wasn't just about the safety of her Kingdom but others as well, Bowser wouldn't spare anyone. This is something she'd have to handle alone.

It took a few weeks for Toadsworth to recover fully save for taking some time to properly adjust to using a cane.

"I would've had to use one of these eventually, my dear. That reptilian scoundrel just sped up the process" Toadsworth told her with a chuckle when Peach sadly looked at him as he walked across the room to his desk. "Alright let's review"

All access to the darklands via pipes were destroyed just a couple days after Bowser's surprise visit. It may have been extreme on her part, but she thought it had to be done. In that one day time window, anyone that's made their home in her kingdom but native to the darklands was to return. In her mind she just couldn't risk surprise attacks or those who's shaky loyalty was still to the King spreading valuable information. Surprisingly the termination of their treaty went through without problems, no talking just signing letters and returning it via mail. Toadsworth agreed with the majority of all the new policies but, when it came to the potential evacuation plan, that's where he had some problems no matter how many times they reviewed it.

"The people are to do no such thing, we will stand by your side or die trying before we let you surrender yourself to be his Bride. You are our Princess" He would always slam his tiny fist upon the table and raise his voice.

"And I'd rather avoid any casualties if possible, Toadsworth. I'm the one Bowser wants at the end of the day." Peach would always say to reason with him. "I rather you all live a peaceful life elsewhere than stay here and be enslaved under his rule."

"What you fail to understand is that people like Bowser won't just stop after getting what he wants. That madman wants it all. The entire world would be enslaved in months, no weeks probably." Toadsworth countered.

"Then you guys can live peacefully for weeks or months wherever you guys go and hopefully their leaders are able to put up better resistance than I ever could as a leader" she always said hoping that would be the end of the conversation.

"What's the plan if you end up taking him down though. You must have one for that possibility" Toadsworth challenged as she looked unsure.

"Then...Then I'll visit all the places where everyone would have settled and if they choose to return home, I'll continue being the best leader I can be as I promised." Peach would tell him after thinking for a bit.

It was still something that never sat right with Toadsworth even a few years later, though the Princess was very adamant about keeping that plan in place, not allowing any changes to it in the slightest. Toadsworth along with the guards and council members constructed a meticulous method of their own when it came to gathering Intel on what the King Koopa's plans were in the Darklands. With the elders Toads guidance and decision making, they met with a select few councils of other Kingdoms to put extra plans in motion, there would be signs and signals they were to look out for. Sure it was a bad look by not including their Princess in these plans, but in Toadsworth eyes it was necessary to do so, Peach would insist for them not to get involved at all. They did fill their leader in on an important piece of information they found out about four months later.

"The Power star" Toadsworth shared all his notes from research on the item. "Legends say it hasn't existed for centuries now but it holds great power. We're almost certain that's what Bowser's looking for if his airships traveling different places is any indication." He finished.

"It doesn't make any sense, why go through the trouble of searching for something that hasn't been seen I'm centuries unless he found a positive trail" Peach asked aloud.

"That we're not quite sure. Rest assured we're keeping a close eye on the situation and share any new findings as soon as possible Princess." He assured her with a hand on hers. "With any luck, let's hope that he continues his futile efforts in search for this star." He finished.

"If I'm honest it gets to me sometimes Toadsworth" Peach started after an awkward silence holding her head down avoiding his eyes. "There hasn't been so much as any direct attacks on his end since that day. I've upped my training regimen but I don't know if it will be enough when he does do something." She finished with a sigh.

Toadsworth wasn't sure what to say that would just be giving her false hope or putting intense pressure on her to deliver but it was the truth if anything.

"You will know what to do when the time comes Princess. We all have faith in you. So have it in yourself. " Toadsworth said, squeezing her hand.

A few more months went by and with nothing new to report on, Toadsworth or rather the others along with the Princess, thought it would be ok for him to take a well earned two week vacation to isle del fino. The council promised him that everything would remain in order while he was away and to send for him if anything came up as soon as possible. It took a lot of convincing on their part for him to finally accept it but by the next day he had everything packed up and was heading down the hall of the castle to get to the pipe that would take him to the airport.

The Princess met him in the hall after the usual morning meeting. She was surprised to see that he was still here.

"I hope you have a nice trip Toadsworth. Please try not to think about work while you're on vacation, we have everything handled here." Peach told him feeling more confident than she'd had in a long while.

"I know you will. You're an amazing leader my dear. I will do my best to put work in the back of my mind but it can be challenging. I'll write to you as soon as I get there" He said, motioning her to give him a hug.

Peach kneeled down to his level and wrapped her arms around him. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes. She walked with him to the pipe and helped him up, waiting for him to completely disappear before returning to the castle. She quietly worked in her office for about two hours before one of the council members burst into the room with dire news.

"Princess Peach, The Ice Kingdom has fallen. It's Bowser, he's found the Power star." The blue toad desperately told her.

#Key Posting #Super Mario #omg I have to slightly reiterate something I said in my authors notes (should totally read them btw 🤭 if you love the rambles)#I found myself underestimating just how much thought went into expanding scenes since I started writing this awhile ago 🤣 but hey #Did my best and had fun doing it 👌🏾 and that's all that matters we love that for me lolol #Now that I finished this I can read everyone else's works 🥳 I was so locked in on this I had to save them for later #hehe I can also get back into my little viddy games 🤪 but before doing all that I have to go put in some time to get money 🙄😮‍💨#so I'll end my rambles in the tags here and wish you all a good start to the week and don't worry we're almost to the weekend 🥲👍🏾#Take care and I hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it ☺️☺️#ooh quick reminder here for me to update this and something else in my pinned post later on

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