#so yes....people have tough and busy lives....mile is no exception

[boysbeloving]

I totally understand not feeling human and not being able to think properly without 8 hours of sleep because I am the same but I just can't imagine the man who is a model/actor/CEO of boc music s family business and just loves to have late night sessions with his guitar and consistently posts 3 am ig reels somehow also gets 8 hours of sleep a day. WHEN DO YOU HAVE THE TIME MILE??!??

NONNIIIIEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭

the man being busy is an understatement lol

i honestly don't think he's getting his eight hours.....not daily for sure

but he's managing to keep himself fit and available for the commitments that he's required to be at so that's a great thing

honestly, back in my 20s i also did A LOT on a daily basis along with travelling long distances...i was young and had slightly more energy than now and was passionate about the things i did

and i think it does come down to that a bit....your own passion and joy that you derive out of things....that helps drive oneself to do more of it i think...along with MANY other factors ofc but yeah, this is one big factor too

and i'm VERY VERY happy that mile has given himself this opportunity to pursue his love for music in a professional way.....he's a music lover and a business lover so why not combine both the loves right?

i hope he gets time and energy to look after the family business as well

nonnie we can wish mile success in all his endeavours and wish for him to be healthy and happy!

[parker-razor]

many a dream about you

afab!reader x mando (no y/n)

5.2k words, 18+, EXPLICIT!! 

warnings: SMUT (extended warnings under the cut), mentions of injuries, unprotected sex (use protection!), very little editing

summary: when you and mando are forced to share a bed together, you end up having a dream that reveals more than you had hoped...

author’s notes: ahhhh! this is my first fic!! i’ll be honest, i got so excited i wrote most of this in one sitting. indulge me in some of my favorite smutty tropes about everyone’s favorite space dad!

extended warnings: oral (f receiving), wet dreams, thigh grinding, mentions of rough sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation... i think that’s it

*****

Stars, you were exhausted.

You had just spent three weeks on the Razor Crest with the only bed available to you being a cheap mattress that might as well have just been a sack stuffed with sand. On top of the little sleep you were running on, you had just finished loading three bounties onto the Crest and into carbonite while Mando patched himself up. Dragging three grown men onto the ship and freezing them took all the strength out of you.

You finally collapsed into the pilot’s seat in the cockpit, catching your breath and giving your muscles a well-deserved break. Your eyes flutter closed as your body decompresses from the hard work and no sleep it’s been put through these past weeks. Mando had hired you just a month ago to look after the ship while he was away on hunts. Not to mention the little green gremlin he had adopted as his own, who kept you company and looked to you to get taken care of. It was much better than the life you had known; growing up on the outskirts of Tatooine was hard enough as is, but when your little shop had been pillaged and ransacked, you had nothing left on the small, desert planet. Mando had shown up just in time, sitting next to you in a dive bar.

*****

You had never seen one of his kind before, and to be honest, you were overwhelmed with the way he carried himself. He was big, towering over everyone he passed on his way to the barstools. You wondered why he even bothered if he couldn’t remove his helmet to drink, but you’d never ask. He sat himself just a few stools from yours, and after stealing a few glances with flushed cheeks, you finally opened your mouth to say something.

“Bounty hunters like you must be pretty busy on a planet like this,” you said, trying to talk over the loud band playing in the corner. “Not too many upstanding people tend to find themselves here.”

Slowly turning his helmet to face you, the Mandalorian said, “What does that say about you?”

Damn, you thought, he was quick to the draw.

“It’s not exactly my choice to live here. I’d give anything to get off this ball of sand.”

He says nothing, just turns his helmet forward again. You figure that’s the end of that, at least you tried. You can now say that you’ve talked to a Mandalorian before.

After a few beats of silence, he finally speaks. “Anything?”

You whip your head towards him, trying to figure out where this was going. Of course you wanted to leave, but you didn’t want to come off too eager in case he wasn’t serious.

“I mean, what do you have in mind?” you ask, trying to act as calm as possibly, but you couldn’t help but get a little excited at the prospect of leaving.

“I have… a son. He’s very small and can’t take care of himself yet. I don’t like taking him hunting, but I can’t leave him on the ship by himself,” he pauses, piecing together his words carefully. “I need someone to look after him.”

“So, I’d be his babysitter?”

“And ship sitter. Just keep it clean, nothing complicated.”

You pretended to ponder his proposition, but you knew you’d say yes almost immediately. There was nothing left for you here; no family, no livelihood, no friends. This was the best deal you had gotten in a long time. Except…

“So, what do I get in return?”

“I’d pay you, as much as I can afford. But you’d have your own bed and food.”

You’re sold.

*****

You’re brought back to the present when you hear Mando’s footsteps ascend the ladder to the cockpit. The child is holding onto him, smiling when he sees your face.

“How bad are you hurt?” you ask cautiously.

“I’ll live. Just a gash.”

“Well, I got the bounties in carbonite. But I gotta say Mando, I don’t know if I can sleep another night in a row on that shitty mattress.” He says nothing, and you haven’t figured out if that’s a good sign or a bad sign.

“Not that I don’t appreciate you making room for me! I’m just saying, I think we both need a proper rest tonight, especially after today,” you backtrack. You hear him sigh, nodding his head in agreement.

“Alright. I passed an inn on the way back here. Let’s see if they have any vacancy, hopefully with a bed better than the one you have.” You blush, embarrassed that you came off as ungrateful.

Mando was a mystery to you. He was quiet, a man of few words. It was especially hard trying to read him without being able to see any facial cues or expressions. Nevertheless, something about him exuded strength. He was much taller than you, but he was also just… big. Especially with all the beskar adding a whole other layer of strength. You couldn’t explain the attraction you felt for him. Something about how he towered over you, his visor boring into your face made you weak in the knees. How could you feel this way for someone who you’d barely talked to, let alone never seen their face?

He made you feel weak, but for some reason you liked that. Growing up on your home planet, you had to learn to fight for yourself. You were strong, with curves and muscles that showed just how tough life had made you. You never let a man make you feel less than or weak, always ready to defend yourself. But you liked that Mando made you feel small. It made no sense, but it also made perfect sense.

Sometimes at night, you’d let your hands wander. One hand wandered up to your face, whether to bite down on a finger or cover your mouth to keep yourself quiet, and the other down the front of your pants. Being around Mando so much made it difficult to wait until after he fell asleep to take care of the burning need you felt for him. You had your fair share of flings with the boys in your village, but none of them made you feel the way Mando did. With the most subtle actions he could make a heat blossom in your stomach and goosebumps spread over your arms. Sometimes the way he’d fly the Crest made you clench your thighs together; he looked so in charge in that pilot’s seat. Rubbing tight circles on your clit, clenching around nothing while angling your hips just right, you would be sent into orbit at the thought of his hands taking care of you instead.

After you and Mando had packed up your essentials, you got Grogu into his pram and headed off to the village nearby. You had no idea what planet you were on, but the flowering trees brought some joy to you. In the past weeks travelling with Mando, you had seen so many new things. You had never once left your home, and things like trees and streams had you in awe. You would never get used to how it made you feel.

The village was small, and it didn’t seem like there was anything else around for miles. You got to the motel, one of the larger buildings in the area. The lobby was small and surprisingly clean, much cleaner than the interior of the Crest. An older woman, the innkeeper you presumed, stood at the desk.

“We’d like two rooms. How much would that be?” Mando asked, not interested in entertaining niceties.

“So sorry sir, we only have one room available. A few of our rooms are under renovation, and there’s only one unoccupied that is fit to house anyone,” the woman said with a sickly sweet smile.

Mando sighed, obviously conflicted with the choice laid in front of him. He turned to you for your input.

“I- I don’t mind sharing a room. We don’t have to if you’re not comfortable, I just thought it be nice to escape the ship for the night.” You rushed your words out, feeling shy at the prospect of sharing the room with Mando. He had his own quarters on the ship, and you had yours, if you could even consider them quarters. After a few beats, Mando put some credits on the desk, and took the key the woman was offering.

Pushing down the excitement you felt, you grabbed your things that you had set down and followed Mando to your room. It’s not like you hadn’t been living in close proximity with Mando for the past few weeks anyways.

But this was different.

And you didn’t fully realize why it was so different until you opened the door to your room and saw that there was only one queen sized bed. Your jaw dropped, as you looked to Mando for his reaction. Nothing, as usual. He just walked into the room as if nothing had changed.

How was this gonna go? Were you just supposed to… share? The bed wasn’t puny, plenty of room for the both of you. But this was crossing a line that you didn’t even realize had been established. You didn’t really know much about each other and hadn’t been acquainted for very long. Not to mention the burning need you felt for him growing day by day.

And now you had to share a bed with him. No big deal.

Grogu’s cries for attention brought you out of your reverie of thoughts. You picked him up from his pram and placed him on the bed, allowing him to take in the room. The love and affection for the child had grown immensely since Mando had first introduced the two of you. You were initially shocked at how silently affectionate Mando was with him. You had never expected him to be the paternal type. You had yet to learn how the curious pair had found each other; a small part of you wondered if Mando looked similar to the child under his mask.

Mando had set his things on the chair in the corner and mumbled something about using the refresher. And as quickly as the door shut, you heard the shower turn on and the sound of beskar hitting the floor.

The realization that Mando was maskless, naked, just a few feet away sent a shockwave through your body. Was he tan? Did he have blond or brown hair? Was he truly strong or did the beskar just add extra bulk? You imagined he had scars littering his body, with chest hair dusting his front. The thought of it trailing down beneath his pants sent a shiver down your spine. Stars, your mind was in the gutter.

The sun had set, and Grogu’s eyes started to flutter and shut on one of the pillows on the bed. You picked him up and cradled him, resting your cheek to his. You savored moments like this; the ones that made your heart warm and full of comforting joy. Grogu’s breathing slowed, letting out snores every once in a while. You heard the shower shut off, and carefully placed Grogu into his pram, closing the top for him to sleep in peace.  

Mando stepped out of the refresher in a thin pair of sleep trousers, a similar shirt and, of course, his helmet. Your gaze made you realize that he was definitely not wearing underwear, not leaving much to the imagination. You felt your face heat up as you looked anywhere but at him, almost positive that your face has turned as red as the setting sun.

“Your turn,” Mando said as he sauntered to the chair in the corner. He placed his things on the ground, sat in the chair, and crossed his arms as if to get comfortable.

“You’re not sleeping over there, are you?” you asked.

“I… just assumed… I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Your blush was back with a vengeance.

“I don’t mind. We got this room to relax, and you sure as hell don’t seem at ease with the way you’re sitting.” He said nothing for a few moments before sighing and standing to walk over towards the bed.

Oh Maker, this is actually happening, you thought. What act was more intimate than sharing a bed with someone? Well, there was the obvious one, but…

You scurried to the washroom, desperate to cool yourself down and collect your thoughts. This didn’t have to be a big deal, and if you kept acting all standoffish like you had been, you’d chase Mando away with the bizarre energy you were emitting.

You splashed cold water on your face to calm your blush, brushed your teeth with vigor, and changed into your pajamas. Granted, they were much scantier than the ideal, but you hadn’t expected to be sharing a bed, let alone a room, with the Mandalorian.

Stepping out of the refresher, you see Mando lying in bed with the lamplight on. Maker, you wanted to nothing but climb in with him and lay on his chest…

His chest. This was the first time you’d seen him without all that bulky armor. Through his thin clothing you could tell he was strong, with broad shoulders and contoured muscle. His helmet turned towards you, and what you didn’t know was that he was eyeing you in your not-so-modest sleep clothes as well.

What you didn’t know was how Mando gazed at you when you held the child, cooing at him as he gently tugged on your hair or stroked your cheek. His helmet protected him from you finding out how often he stared at you in adoration. Your curves, your smile, your silent strength. Stars, he thought you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. But what you saw when he looked at you was a silent T-visor staring at you with no emotion.

After a beat, your gaze met the floor as you walked to the other side of the bed, closest to the window. You crawled under the covers, waiting for some quick comment or a reaction from the man next to you. Finally, he spoke.

“Are you sure you don’t want me in the chair?” he asked.

“Stars, Mando, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’d want to be as far away from me as possible,” you responded, embarrassed.

“That’s- no, not at all. I, uh, just wanted you to feel comfortable,” he stumbled. You had never seen him so lost for words, so taken back.

“I promise, Mando, if anything I feel more comfortable with you next to me.” Oh Maker, why did you just say that? That was the most upfront you’d been with him. Just as you were about to take back your words…

“I feel the same,” he responded quietly. Stars, if your heart didn’t explode at his words.

It was quiet for a few moments, until you said, “Well… goodnight Mando.”

“Goodnight.” He turned off the lamplight and shuffled deeper under the blankets. You were unsure if you should stay as close to the edge as possible or be truly comfortable and let yourself get a little closer to Mando. Before you could make up your mind, exhaustion overtook you and you drifted to sleep.

*****

Mando stirred in your sleep, disturbed by something he hadn’t recognized yet. As he continued to drift in and out of sleep, he heard something that he wasn’t sure was a part of a dream or reality.

Quiet mumblings came from your side of the bed, mixed with indistinguishable groans. His instincts kicked in, becoming fully awake to survey the room for any threats. It took him a moment to realize that as you slept, you had moved closer to Mando – much closer.

Your leg was draped over his torso, with your chest pressed to his side and your arm resting on his chest. But what he noticed most was the way your hips rolled, your core grinding against the side of his thigh. Looking at your face, he could tell you were asleep. Your breaths grew heavier, quiet groans turning into moans. Mando felt his pants grow tighter, not know whether or not to wake you from your obvious wet dream.

Mando froze when he heard you say his name while your hips sped up. “M-Mando, don’t stop… Please…” Fuck, you were dreaming about him. He wanted nothing more than to rub the growing problem in his pants, but he knew that crossed a line.

As your breath started to hitch, he could tell you were getting close. Just as you were about to cum, you jolted awake, breathing heavily while taking in what was going on.

You looked down at the scene you had caused, rendered speechless. Flooded with humiliation, you jumped out of bed and ran to the refresher as Mando shouted your name. You slammed the refresher door and locked it, tears springing to your eyes. Fuck fuck fuck, this was bad. Did you just ruin everything? Mando must hate you now.

“Please open the door, I’m not mad. Let’s just talk,” Mando said through the door, not wanting to reveal how he felt behind a slab of wood. You said nothing, feeling utterly mortified. There’s no way you could look him in the eye (well, helmet) after getting yourself off on his thigh in your sleep. Fuck.

After twenty minutes of Mando trying to convince you that he wasn’t upset and he just wanted to talk, he gave up. Sighing, he pushed himself off the floor and went back to sit on the bed. Though the tension in his pants had gone down, he couldn’t stop thinking about the sounds you made. He looked down to see that you had left a wet spot on his leg, causing him to groan. He had to stop himself from thinking that way, at least for right now while you were upset.

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, you were in shock. You tried your best to recount what had happened, but it didn’t help that you were asleep for most of it. The dream you were having a blur; Mando on top of you, and the intense feeling of being filled to the brim. Then, you remember waking up to Mando staring down at you, putting two and two together, and that was that.

You realized that Mando was awake before you were, which means he was watching you… do that to him. He didn’t try to wake you up or stop you. He was watching you get off. That had to mean… he liked it. He liked seeing you like that. Right?

You slowly stood up from the bathroom floor, wiping the tears you didn’t notice had fallen down your cheeks. Taking a few deep breaths, you calmed your bedhead and opened the washroom door, rounding the corner to face Mando sitting on the bed.

He looked up from the spot on the floor he was staring at as he sat deep in thought.

“Are- are you okay?” he asked, uncertain of what he should say.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I was asleep and I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable,” you admit, eyes glued to the floor. A few moments of deafening silence pass, with you shuffling in the spot where you stood and Mando’s helmet fixed towards you.

“What did you dream about?” Mando asked quietly. The Mandalorian was normally so stoic and strong in his conviction that to hear his voice quiver in nervousness made your gaze shoot up to his.

“It’s… embarrassing. I don’t want you to think less of me.” Your face turned beet red, a trait of yours you didn’t realize you possessed until you met Mando. He was the first person to make you feel shy and flustered.

“I won’t, I promise. I just want to know… I need to know.”

“It was… about me. And you.” Mando rose to walk over to where you were standing, near the foot of the bed.

“What about us, exactly? You can tell me. Tell me everything.” You hesitated to meet his gaze, eyes wide and nervous.

“You were… on me. In me. All over me.” You felt yourself getting breathless as Mando got closer to you, as you retold your dream without getting too graphic yet still admitting that you had dreamt of him taking you.

“And was I gentle, or was I rough?” Mando’s voice grew husky, just as breathless as you. Maker, his voice made you weak at the knees.

“Gentle, at first. But the longer you went you got rougher. Much rougher.” Your voice dropped into a whisper as Mando found himself right in front of you, almost chest to chest. Your eyes dropped to admire his chest, what it’d look like without his shirt. You wanted to trace every scar that marked his skin, kiss him, bite him.

He grabbed your chin with his thumb and forefinger, drawing your gaze from his chest to his helmet.

“And which did you like better? Tell me,” he whispered through the modulator, but there was no filtering out how deep and raspy his voice had gotten, like you had never heard before.

“I… I was just happy you were touching me,” you whispered, in shock that this wasn’t just another dream. His hand drifted from your chin to your neck, caressing every inch of you. You closed your eyes, unable to believe that he was touching you without his gloves on.

Suddenly, both hands came to your waist and pulled you into his chest, your hands finding their place on his chest. You whimpered, never feeling so small, not knowing why you liked it so much.

“Do you want me to touch you, sweet one? Like I did in your dream?” he rasped.

“Please… please touch me, Mando.” He groaned at that, manhandling you so your back turned to the bed and quickly thrown onto the bed.

“I like hearing you beg, love. Beg some more for me.” You whimpered, flushed and embarrassed but in the best way. Mando yanked at your legs so they were hanging off the bed with him standing between your knees. His hands drifted from your stomach up to your breasts, squeezing them while his thumbs rubbed your hardened nipples through your shirt.

Unable to take it any longer, you sat up and yanked your shirt over your head as Mando did the same. His expanse of muscle was all you could think about, the thatches of chest hair made you want to run your hands all over him.

He dropped to his knees in front of you, playing with the waistband of your sleep shorts.

“Tell me, did I eat this sweet pussy of yours in your dream?” You moaned, unable to remember but wanting his mouth on you all the same.

“I want you to, but your helmet…” Mando grabbed the blanket that was at the end of the bed, throwing it so one end covered your stomach and the other fell near the middle of his back. Awkwardly, you saw him maneuver under the blanket to take his helmet off, and then your shorts.

Before you could say so much as a “please,” Mando’s mouth enveloped your cunt with his hot mouth. Your gasp was loud and ragged, not expecting him to feel this good. You felt him moan into you, licking from your hole up to the tip of your clit.

“Am I the one who made you this wet, my sweet one? You’re dripping onto the bed for me,” you heard him rasp under the blankets.

“Please, Mando, you feel so f-fucking good,” you gasp as he puts his mouth on you again. You reach under the blanket to grab his hair to pull him the exact spots you wanted his mouth to be. Maker, his mouth was immaculate. His tongue messily toyed with your clit, groaning in your cunt when you tugged his hair which sent vibrations everywhere.

When he found that one spot, just to the left of your clit, you started to feel that familiar tension in your stomach, the one you’d get when you’d touch yourself in the silence of night in the Crest. You tilted your hips just right as he sucked your clit into your mouth, letting out an animalistic moan.

As soon as you felt him hum into your cunt again, you were gone. You fell over a cliff higher than ever before as everything went utterly white, white in your vision and white noise in your ears.

Maker, you came so fucking hard. And through the whole thing, Mando licked and sucked at you, slowing down when you eventually came down. You felt like you were floating through the aftermath as Mando kissed the inside of your thighs, and through the reverie you were in you felt the tickle of facial hair on your skin. You smiled to yourself, finally able to know something about the appearance of the man you adored so.

Mando quickly put his helmet back on under the blanket before pulling himself over you, stroking your face with the back of his hand.

“Do you want more? Or do you want me to stop?” he asked. As spent as you felt, at the sound of his voice your body began rearing up for more.

“More. I need your cock, Mando, so badly,” you whimpered, feeling a brand new wave of wetness flood at the apex of your legs.

You picked your head up, finally wrenching your eyes open as you felt Mando start to take his pants off. You were very suddenly awake again when you saw his cock spring out. He was big, bigger than the boys you had taken by far.

“I- I don’t know if you’ll fit. I’ve never had a man bigger than you.”

“No, sweet one, you’ve only had boys. I can’t wait to be the first man who wrecks you,” he rasps into your ears as your hands wrap themselves around his neck and down his back. Stars, he was sexy, an odd mix of shy and domineering all at once.

He started rubbing the tip against your cunt, and suddenly you were on fire again. You had never tried to get yourself again after one orgasm, always too spent and high on dopamine to go again. So you never got to realize that once you had one, more orgasms were not very difficult to achieve. Until, Mando’s tip swirled around your clit and you could feel the coil tighten yet again.

“M-Mando, I’m gonna cum again if you keep doing that,” you whimpered, causing him to groan and only put more pressure on your clit.

“Then do it, my love. I want to see your face when you cum for me.” You let out a series of curses until you came again, slightly weaker than the previous one but it rocked through you. Before you could even come down, Mando thrusted himself into you in one go. You let out a yell bordering on a scream, feeling your pussy stretch itself to fit all of him. Stars, the burn of the stretch made you shiver.

“Oh f-fuck, my sweet girl has an even sweeter pussy,” he gasped as he started to thrust himself into you. “S-so fucking t-tight and w-warm, I’m not gonna last…”

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as Mando’s thrusts sped up, slamming into you at an unfathomable rate.

“No no, look at me. Look at me while I’m making you feel good,” Mando growled as he grabbed your cheeks to make you look at his helmet. You tried so hard to keep your eyes open, but as Mando tilted his hips just right, jamming into your G-spot, you lost control over your body. You were saying something, but you were so far gone that you couldn’t decipher what it was.

“Is that- fuck- all you can say, pretty girl? Please? Please what? What do you need, fuck I’ll give you everything you want, just say the word,” Mando rambled, just as drunk on your pussy as you were on his cock.

“D-d-don’t stop, p-please don’t s-stop,” you uttered out, not completely sure if you were having one long orgasm or if it was building to something even bigger.

“I’m never gonna stop, baby, never wanna stop…” Without warning, an orgasm so strong racked through your body. You had never cum just from penetration before, but the way the hair at the base of Mando’s cock was brushing against your cunt as he fucked you sent you beyond the edge.

“Oh my fucking- stars, baby you’re so tight I can barely move… I-I’m gonna-“ Mando gasped as you felt him cum deep inside you, moaning louder than you thought he would.

You both gasped for breath, utterly exhausted from the best sex in both of your lives. Mando pulled out and laid next you on the bed, stroking your hair gently.

“I wish I could kiss you right now,” you croaked, voice almost gone from overuse. Silence fell over the two of you, and you wanted to take back your words, until…

“Close your eyes. And don’t open them. Promise?” he said.

“I promise, I swear I won’t,” you said, shutting your eyes with your heart leaping at the prospect of finally kissing him. After a few moments of the sounds of shuffling next to you, you felt a soft pair of lips meet yours. It was tentative at first, but after a few gentle pecks Mando caressed your face and kissed you with a passion so strong it took your breath away. You felt his mustache tickle your upper lip as he kissed like if he pulled away, he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

When he finally pulled away, you reminded yourself to keep your eyes closed as he put his helmet back on. You pulled yourself over him, almost in the exact position you had found yourself in when you woke up from your dream, except this time Mando’s arm was draped under your neck.

“I’m glad we finally did that,” Mando admitted after a while. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first day you started living on the Crest.” You lifted your head from his chest and rested your chin on his right pec, gazing at his face.

“You mean that?” you ask.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

You grinned from ear to ear, thanking the Maker that this wasn’t just because Mando was horny and he had found you getting yourself off on him. He had wanted you, too.

“For a minute I thought…I thought you’d tell me to leave and never come back. I was so embarrassed to wake up like that. But… I guess it ended up helping us out,” you chuckled. You heard Mando chuckle too as his chest shook a bit, warming your heart.

“I will never ask you to leave. I want you to stay, I need you to stay,” he admitted quietly. “Plus, I don’t know anyone else who would take care of Grogu so well.”

“Oh, Maker, Grogu!” you exclaimed, realizing Grogu had been closed in his pram in the corner throughout the entire… act.

“The device is soundproof, he didn’t hear a thing,” Mando explained. You let out a sigh of relief.

“I don’t know, with those ears?” you laughed, hearing Mando laugh with you.

“Maybe they’re more for balance rather than hearing,” Mando replied, causing you to let out a loud laugh, making joy flood Mando’s body.

“We can only hope…”

[burnsopale]

So back in August I ensconced myself in a cabin on a mountain to do some writing, and I decided to do a take on the classic “Volkov returns from prison”-scenario.

I got five chapters and 35 000 words in and I will never ever finish it because I have no dicipline. So I figured I could at least share some of the readable bits with you.

Working title: Ashen Characters in this clip: BBA, Russian boys, PPB, mention of the Euro-team Setting: 7 years after season one, Russia, a beyblade park in the evening Summary: Volkov has escaped from prison, attacked PPB headquarters and taken back Black Dranzer. The Russian boys have been living with the PPB, and were used and hurt in the attack. Yuriy left with Volkov for unknown reasons. Daitenji Kogoro has gathered the troops and sent them to Russia to find out what Volkov is up to. Meanwhile, Kai’s grandfather is on his deathbed, and Kai is struggling to deal with it.

The crowd swelled, until there was no way that Takao was going to get any kind of private conversation with his friends. He gave up on the notion for the present, and threw himself into matches. He played the kids who wanted to, holding back as much as he could and leaving Seiryuu simmering in the blade, but eventually they called for a match between Takao and Kai.

Takao loved blading against Kai; somehow, he could never do less than his best against Dranzer, but when Kai now took his place on the other side of the small, grounded dish, something felt off to Takao. Kai looked dull, like he was going to the dentist and just had to get it over with. He fitted Dranzer into the shooter with a look like he was miles away.

“Hey,” Takao said, having to raise his voice a little to get past the crowd. “Are you there?”

 Kai looked up, a little surprised. “What sort of trash talk is that? Are you there?”

 “Just checking. I’ll be in your care.”

 “You’ll be under my heel,” Kai said darkly, and now Takao knew something was wrong, but a beybattle had always been Takao’s way to get through to people, so he just bent his knees and raised Dragoon in front of him.

 “Tri, dva, odin! Idi strelyay!”

 Out of the corner of his eye, Takao saw Emily startle, but he’d have to wonder about that some other time because Seiryuu would not be contained any longer and came out roaring.

Dranzer took Dragoon’s attack head on. Seiryuu bent over it like he was confused as to why Suzaku wasn’t joining him. For the longest moment, Kai just stood there, while Takao watched in disbelief.

 Then, as if he was lifting a great weight, Kai breathed in and cried, “Suzaku!”

 Even the vermillion bird herself didn’t so much soar out of the bit chip as climb laboriously out. Seiryuu hissed, offended by this poor showing, and the battle was over in less than a minute.

 Kai picked up Dranzer and went to stand next to Boris and Kyouju without even commenting on the results. The audience was, thankfully, satisfied, but Takao was not.

 He played Eddie and got a much better match out of him; Trypio was one of those tricky blades that you needed strategy and forward thinking to beat.

 Afterwards he got a chance to say two words to Emily about Kai.

 “He is going through a tough time,” she said.

 “Yeah, but he doesn’t usually let it hurt his blading.”

 “He can’t still be grumpy about the finals?” she wondered.

 Takao shook his head. “Nah, he agreed Ralf deserved that one.”

 Emily nodded, biting her lip in pleasure as she thought back. “Ralf was incredible. It was a team win, but he had the best individual result. The data output was like a laden buffet table.”

 “Ooh, buffet! ... Did he lose at all?” Takao didn’t think he had, but he hadn’t been able to catch every battle.

 “Hmm. Rai came close; lightning is good against such massive holy beasts, and it was close for Kai too of course, but no one can quite top the sheer mastery Ralf has over Griffolyon.”

 “It’s not mastery; it’s teamwork,” Takao insisted, frowning.

 “Call it synergy, then,” she said, shrugging. “Ralf knows his business, that’s all I’m saying. They all do, those European bladers.” She chuckled. “You know, Ivan calls them Earthquaker, Wingshaker and Heartbreaker, from back before he learned their names.”

 Takao matched the nicknames to their right bladers in his head. “... What does he call Johnny?”

 “The hedgehog.”

 “What about you?” he asked, nodding to the dish where Max was getting ready to battle Steve. “Are you going to play?”

 She shook her head, a look of pain crossing her sharp features. “Trygator is ... missing. He was taken in the attack. Volkov has it.”

 For a moment, Takao found nothing to say. Inside he was boiling. “We’ll get him back, Emily,” he vowed, clenching his fist. “I swear it.”

 She smiled a dangerous smile, not unlike a crocodile’s. “Yes, we will.”

 Eventually the group detangled themselves from the crowd and began to journey home. The world was growing dark, but the sky was still pale above. Long stretched of road lay without light, which came in handy when they had to escape from a few fans who apparently wanted to know where they were staying.

 They stopped on the lawn outside the hotel where Emily and company were staying, and Takao finally got to ask his question.

 “What happened?”

 The others looked at each other, except Boris who looked down, and Kai, who now said a brief goodnight, reminded them where to meet in the morning, and walked away. Max made a soft sound, but didn’t try to stop him. Kyouju seemed torn between not wanting to pry and dying to know.

 Emily made it easier by briefly telling them of her encounter with Peter Trotty. “Turns out his real name is Trotsky. He’s one of three Borg spies that have been undercover in the PPB for years. Or rather, one of the three we’ve found so far.”

 “What did he mean by that thing he said? Baba who?”

 The Russian boys shifted their feet. Sergei’s lips pulled back from his teeth in a silent snarl.

 Kyouju could, as usual, not help doing a bit of teaching. “Baba Yaga is the name of a witch in Russian fairy tales. She is an old woman who rides through the woods on a mortar, and lives in a house that stands on four chicken legs.”

 “Chicken legs?” Max echoed doubtfully.

 “She is sometimes an enemy, but can also help the hero or heroine, if they do the tasks she sets them.”

 “In this case,” Sergei said, “she is a real woman. She was in the abbey. She trained us, Ivan and me, and sometimes Yuriy.”

 “Don’t ask about her,” Ivan said, putting his hands over his ears. “I hear the creaking in my head all the time. I thought I was rid of it. I thought it was over!”

 “She is dead,” Sergei said with conviction. It sounded like something he needed to believe. “She was old when I came to the abbey; she must be dead. But they had her voice on a tape recorder and ... it’s hard to disobey.”

 “Fuck her!” Ivan exclaimed, and then grew suddenly pale as if he had said something dangerous. “No more,” he said, more lowly. “She’s a fairy tale now. Only fit for scaring children.”

 For a while they stood in silence, and then Kyouju asked the other question, the one that had been hanging over them all day. “Why did Yuriy go?”

 “Because he’s an idiot!” Boris said, holding up clawed hands like he would like to wrap them around Yuriy’s throat. He turned away and roared behind his teeth up at the darkening sky. “He’s a stupid mudak! Fuck!” He kicked a turf of grass so dirt sprayed up. “Fuck, fuck fuck!”

 They watched him stomp repeatedly on the uprooted bit of turf, and then move on to a flower that was unlucky enough to stand nearby.

 “What Borya said,” Sergei agreed.

 “But we’re to blame too,” Eddie added, pulling his jeans jacket around himself like he was cold. “We thought we were doing a good job making them feel at home.”

 “We thought Michael was taking care of Yuriy,” Steve said, stern with himself. “But Michael and Yuriy are nothing alike. It didn’t work out.”

 “And we didn’t notice,” Eddie finished.

 “Don’t talk like that,” Ivan hissed. “Like we were your homework!”

 “But you were,” Emily said in her factual, merciless way. “At first. Then you became our friends. Now you are ours, whether you like it or not. You won’t rest until Yuriy is liberated, but neither will we. He’s coming back home with us.”

 “We’re with you too,” Max said quickly.

 Takao and Kyouju nodded determinedly.

 “The first step is to figure out where Volkov is and what he is planning,” Kyouju said.

 “And that means getting to bed, so we are ready for tomorrow,” Emily added. “Come on, boys. I promised Judy I’d tuck you all in by ... well not this hour, but she doesn’t need to know that.”

 Takao, Max and Kyouju watched them go, Sergei grabbing Boris by the lapel and pulling him away from the flowers he was chewing up. Then they turned and headed for their own hotel and their beds.

 “What do you think we’ll find tomorrow?” Max wondered.

 “We’re going back to the abbey,” Takao answered. “We could find anything.” A feeling of foreboding was growing in his stomach.

 Takao surprised everyone by being the first to get up that morning. He was too keyed up to sleep any longer. He was digging into his second round of breakfast when the others arrived, but politely stuck around to keep them company until they too were finished. It gave him time for round three anyway.

 “You’d think I don’t feed you,” Dad said as he brought his plate to the table.

 “You’d think Grandpa doesn’t feed you,” Takao retorted, looking at the mountain of food on his dad’s plate.

 Kyouju sipped his tea, two slices of toast with honey lying neatly on a plate in front of him. “Like father like son, I suppose.”

 “They snore like father and son too,” Max said, yawning as he took a seat between Kyouju and Kai.

 Kai smiled. He had his own room.

 Their friends arrived from the other hotel a little before ten o’clock, and at ten precisely, two large black cars came to a halt in front of the hotel doors. A huge man stepped out of the first car. He had bushy moustaches and bushy eyebrows, and a great big belly, and he wore shorts, sneakers and a yellow Hawaii shirt that looked deeply out of place in the middle of the city. He shook hands with Takao’s dad, and with Kai and Emily.

 “Hello hello, everywan,” he said, sounding exactly as jolly as you’d expect, like a big Russian santa. “My name is Gregor Gregorovitsj. You can call me Gregor. I will be your guide today. I understand that some of you will be coming with me to look at the papers and other inventory that we cleared out of the abbey, while some others of you,” He looked to Takao’s dad. “Want to go see the abbey for yourself.”

 He looked at them expectantly. Then his eyes alighted on Sergei, and travelled to Boris, and down to Ivan.

 “Oh.” He said. He scratched his head. “... They didn’t tell me why you wanted to go there. Why would you want to?”

 “You haven’t heard about Vladimir Volkov escaping from prison?” Emily asked.

 Gregor looked surprised, and then a little embarrassed. “To be honest, nobody tells me anything. I am only archivist, but I speak English, so they sent me. I have never been guide before.” He frowned. “But if that man has escaped ... hmm ... that explains some things. I may not be told anything, but I do hear things.” He frowned a little more. Kai cleared his throat, startling him out of his thoughts. “But we should get going! Okay, those who want to go to abbey go in the first car; the driver knows way, and someone will meet you there to show you around. Everyone else, in second car with me.”

 “Who is going where?” Takao wondered. “I’m coming with you, Dad.”

 “As am I,” Kai said.

 “And me.” Boris took a step away from his own group towards theirs. “You won’t find anything without one of us going with you.”

 Kai turned to him. “Then it should be Ivan or Sergei.”

 “No,” Boris said simply. “It will be me.”

 Emily pushed her glasses up and surveyed her troops. “Sergei is taking point on the textual evidence, and Steve and I read enough Russian to aid him. Daitenji Kogoro mentioned a warehouse with inventory, so Eddie and Ivan are going there.”

 Kai rolled his eyes in disgust. “And how do we know you won’t have another episode?” he asked Boris bluntly. “You think going back to that place won’t trigger any memories?”

 Boris lifted his head stubbornly. “There will not be an episode. I am going.”

 “You are not safe,” Kai growled.

 “Stop it!” Takao placed himself between them, facing Kai. “If Boris says he will be fine, then he will be.”

 “Why?” Kai sneered. “Because you believe in him?”

 “Because I trust him,” Takao answered.

 Dad put a hand on Kai’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Kai; we’ll be together the whole time. If anything should happen, we can handle it, but I think Boris knows best if he will be alright or not.”

 Kai shrugged off the hand. “I agree,” he spat. “I just also think he would lie about it.”

 Emily, Eddie and Steve were looking on in confusion and shock, while Ivan and Sergei’s faces were growing dark.

 Boris said something in Russian that was clearly an offer to throw hands, and Kai turned back to him like he absolutely meant to take that offer and go through Takao if he had to, until Max suddenly stepped in front of Kai and drove him backwards.

 “That’s enough, Kai!”

 Takao exhaled in relief as he saw Kai’s attention snap to Max with the irresistible awareness that Max always commanded of him.

 “This isn’t about Boris,” Max said, putting his hands on his hips and leaning forward like he was at work and lecturing one of his kindergardeners. “It’s about you. If you don’t want to go to the abbey, then you don’t have to! But don’t take it out on Boris!”

 Kai’s face got all red and pinched.

 Max straightened up and exhaled. “Kai.” He shook his head. “I’ll come too, and like Kinomiya-san says, we’ll go together, and if you’re scared I can hold your hand and then it will be fine-”

 “Just get in the car,” Kai said in a strangled voice and immediately followed his own advice.

 “Guess I’m coming with you,” Max said, nodding to himself like he thought he had done a good job, and Takao thought so too.

 Max had a way of diffusing – or confusing – Kai that sometimes came in handy.

 Takao just wished they could get to the heart of the problem. This was not about the abbey, he didn’t think so, though it was about going together, and about being lonely even when you were surrounded by friends.

 “Well,” Gregor said, swinging his hands back and forth by his sides. “That was awkward. Would you like to go now?”

 Kyouju decided to go with Ivan and Eddie to the warehouse, and so the teams were agreed upon.

 Takao didn’t know what Daitenji-san wanted them to find in that black stone labyrinth, but as they left the city centre and began to near the desolate edges where Volkov had picked up so many of Moscow’s orphaned and abandoned boys, his feeling of foreboding grew stronger. Something was waiting for them. Something they were not prepared for.

[philosophicalparadox]

I couldn't choose one ^_^; but for mephirin how about one of these?

3. “Am I dead?”

18. “Would you quit moving around?” “It’s not my fault we’re tied up together!”

57. “Wait a second.. are you jealous?”

86. “You’re getting crumbs all over my bed.”

111. “Is that a challenge?”

151. “Times up!”

191. “Don’t give me that look! You started it!”

204. “It’s midnight, what do you want?”

(I promise I used one of these, it's just at the end!) TW for talk of suicide, death, self harm(minor) and angst (with a little fluff at the end. But first you must suffer the cringe that is Mephisto + feelings)

....................

Rin sat down in front of Mephisto's mansion, letting the weight in his stomach anchor him to the concrete, even though his mind felt a million miles away.

"You do realize it's the middle of the night." A smooth voice chimed behind him. Rin had expected his company - in fact that was the very reason he was there, or so he thought.

Getting no reply to his passive statement, Mephisto came up on his flank, dressed in a dark purple velvet robe that was left largely open at the top, exposing his pale chest to the humid night air, his bare, clawed feet making not a single sound. It wasn't hot, but it wasn't cool either, not that Rin would have noticed anyway.

"I'm surprised you didn't ask why I'm here." Rin said softly after a long, wet pause.

"Did you want me to?" Rin felt his teeth clench. He didnt have the energy to play stupid games. But he also knew Mephisto was right. He really needed to stop expecting human responses from a cosmic demon entity. It wasn't good for his sanity.

"I want you to sit by me." He stated. If Mephisto wanted him to be forthcoming with his desires, so be it. Rin half expected a retort, but couldn't say he was all that disappointed when the older man obliged. He sat at arms length, predictably uncomfortable with intimacy in these situations. And Rin knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he knew why he was here anyhow.

"Nothing can live forever, Rin. I know that better than anyone."

"Except for you, maybe." Rin replied sarcastically. "And only because you choose to live through it all." Rin responded bitterly. His grimace turned to a body-wide tremble. "How? How do you watch people die again and again and just keep doing it?"

"Doing what, precisely?"

"Living."

"Hmm." Mephisto hummed as he thought, bringing a thin, sharp clawed finger to his jawline. "That is actually not a bad question." Rin turned a curious gaze to his elder, surprised how compliant he was being tonight. Usually the man was as rigid as iron and as slippery as smoke whenever it came to feely-stuff like this, not that such a vague statement was out of the ordinary for him.

"And why isn't it a bad question?" Rin parroted his typical sing songy voice at him as a jab, but they both knew there was no heart in it.

"That is a good question." Mephisto smiled leerily at Rin, who was so used to these kinds of interactions by now he was hardly fazed. "And is it one worth answering? Or are you too intimidated by me? By this?" The look that morphed onto Mephisto's face like a sculptor playing with clay was priceless.

"Excuse me?" He said incredulously.

"You're intimidated by touchy feely stuff, though I don't know why. Me being all fucked up and hurt right now creeps you out, I know it does." Mephisto pursed his lips into a hard line, and Rin knew he was spot on. He decided it felt good to torment the man a little and dug in deeper. "So if you're going to sit there and mock me because you're a coward who is allergic to feelings, then you can fuck right off."

"Coward?" Rin felt a tiny ripple of panic tear through his already heightened body, the tone Mephisto used indicating that that might not have been the best word to use. But it was too late to back out now.

"Yes, a coward." Rin swallowed, refusing to be fazed. "And if you want to prove me wrong you'll answer the damn question instead of beating around the bush. But you're too scared of feelings to do that," Rin sighed, suddenly overtaken with a sense of fatigue. "So I don't know why I try. Or what I came here for, anyway. Company? Comfort? Hah. Don't know where I got that idea from."

A long, pregnant pause ensued. Rin glanced up at Mephisto once or twice, expecting a sharp retort, and seen him ruminating on an apt reply. What he said next was not what Rin was expecting though.

"Is that a challenge?"

Rin met cautiously determined eyes and was a bit unsure of what to say. "Only if you plan on taking it, Mr. Tough Guy." Rin tried, and failed, to stop the little smile that graced his lips. "Or do you think you cant be that open with me?" Rin could tell from the apprehension that drifted across Mephisto's glowy irises like a tiny cloud dims the moon that he was right. This man was in the business of trusting no one with his secrets. Not even his best piece. Especially not his best piece.

"I'm not going to think less of you for feeling things. Quite the opposite if anything. Besides..." Rin cringed when the thought of his brother's freshly dug grave. "I could use the distraction from my own thoughts."

"So you've elected to pick through mine. How charming of you." Mephisto pinned his ears with a sarcastic grimace before returning to his thoughts, though his expresion was a touch softer.

"I am not unfamiliar with death, of that you can be sure - and I don't mean the entity either." Mephisto began. "I have died before. But as you know by now, death for demons is not quite the same. Indeed, neither is the death of Nephilim." Rin felt his heart throb achingly in his chest and fought the sudden, unbidden urge to cry. He was the last one left. All he had was Mephisto now.

"And suicide?" Rin asked boldly, unsure of where, even, the question rose from. "Are you familiar with that?"

"Yes, actually, I am. In a way." Mephisto's voice took on a somber tone (for him) and Rin had to resist the urge to ask if he was being serious or not. Mephisto looked to Rin's face and could read everything. "I am not immune to my own mind, unfortunately. Boredom, depression - these things are not beyond me. I have experienced them, in my own way. I admit I have trouble understanding why some humans end their lives, but not all of them."

"So..." Rin's mind was reeling trying to catch up. He wasn't precisely surprised, exactly - Mephisto could be very macabre when the situation allowed, but Rin didn't trust the integrity of his words just yet. "Have you ever tried to kill yourself?"

"Not intentionally, no. By which I mean that I have most certainly damaged myself and my body needlessly, but it was never with the exact intention of dying."

"So you've hurt yourself? On purpose?"

"Yes. Sometimes out of boredom. Sometimes for other reasons." The sudden, though subtle tension in Mephisto's voice told Rin that was as close to disclosing those reasons as he was going to get.

"I can understand that, I guess." Rin thought about it. He'd injured himself on purpose before, although it was out of curiosity more than self loathing. He couldn't say he hadn't considered it before while he felt really low, though.

"What happened to Yukio was not your fault."

The statement came out of left field and hit Rin like a train. He couldn't stop the tears from flowing now. "He did what he felt he had to do." Rin justified weakly. "He was getting old. His body was eating itself. I don't blame him or me for not letting him suffer." Rin's voice cracked. "I just wish I could have been there. Said goodbye. I know it didn't hurt, but..." Rin couldn't keep his composure. "There were better ways to do it. No one would have told him no. No one." Rin garbled through sobs.

"I tried to talk to him about that actually. He didn't want anyone else doing it for him. He wanted to be in control of his life to the very last second."

"I know. I know." Rin heaved a heavy sigh to try and calm down, but everything, every part of him was shaking and he just wanted to run away from the pain. To curl up and die because the last part of his world had gone to a better place and he desperately wanted to follow. He didn't want to be alone. Anything but alone.

A cold, spindly hand on the small of his back shocked him back into reality, and he realised he was clenching his jaw so hard it hurt.

"Don't drift away. It wont take you anywhere you want to go." Mephisto advised wisely. The, Rin wanted to call it sovereign, look in his eyes proved what he knew from experience. Don't drift away. Rin focused his mind on the surprisingly cold hand, not because of it's temperature but because of how lightly it touched him. Gentle might have been a part of gentleman, but he had never really known Samael to be either the former or the latter with any amount of honesty.

Rin got an idea then, and pounced on Mephisto before he was able to object, bowling him over lightly and straddling his chest. Confused and slightly concerned eyes met his own stern and jaded ones. He wasn't going to feel any better by sitting here feeling the hard concrete dig into his ass, that much was true.

"Then help me stay right here." Rin offered, his tail wiggling somewhat enticingly, Mephisto's face lighting up in realization.

"Is that a challenge?"

[queennicoleinboots]

And the Earth then Became Hell

The volcano on the Island of La Palma burst out hot, red lava a mile into the sky. A rain of fire shot down on the island and burned the houses. Many people transformed into molten lava creatures who roamed the island. Lava already hit the Mediterranean Sea and started going into the Atlantic Ocean, which caused a white toxic gas to emanate in the air. Tiny glass shards, about the same size as tiny classified ads, were floating in the air. Everyone except the molten lava creatures had to wear space helmets to not breathe in the noxious gases.

The seas were set on fire from volcanoes erupting under the oceans. Geysers were exploding everywhere, which caused merfolk to fly in the air before they swam around and started eating ships carrying cargo. The fish were beginning to mutate into fire-breathing dragons.

Earthquakes were shattering the lands and causing islands to break off into the seas. Tsunamis were crashing on coastlines and drowning buildings and little beach shops. Ariel the Little Mermaid and her sisters were swimming along the Aegean Sea and talking to molten lava realtors about having vacation homes there.

Ursula the Sea Witch from the depths of the Atlantic Ocean sang about unfortunate souls as she, too, washed up on the Lalaria Beach, which is on the Northeast coast of Greece. The cave leading to it was ginormous and lined with blazing molten rock. The water was clear and showed all of the rainbow colored fish inside. Some even put their heads out of the water and sang with her.

Ursula then sat under the arch and started to sing to Ariel about her vacation home, "The only way to get what you want is to get a wellness passport. Can you do that?"

"Sure! Are you able to hook me up with one?" Ariel asked.

Ursula answered in song, "My dear, sweet child. That's what I do. It's what I live for.

To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself.

Poor souls with no one else to turn to."

"Great! It's wonderful to help people get vacation homes when the world is blowing up. It's a great cause to help us get some relief ya know," Ariel said with a smile.

"It is. It's a good cause," Ursula said before she sang again. "I admit that in the past I've been a nasty... They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a bitch.

But you'll find that nowadays

I've mended all my ways

Repented, seen the light, and made a switch

To this

True? Yes.

And I fortunately know a little magic

It's a talent that I always have possessed

And dear lady, please don't laugh

I use it on behalf

Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic).

Poor unfortunate souls

In pain, in need

This one longing to be richer

That one wants to get the girls

And do I help them?

Yes, indeed

Those poor unfortunate souls

So sad, so true

They come flocking to my cauldron

Crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"

And I help them!

Yes I do

Now it's happened once or twice

Someone couldn't pay the price

And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals

Yes I've had the odd complaint

But on the whole I've been a saint

To those poor unfortunate souls

Have we got a deal?"

"What will happen to me once I get my wellness pass? Will I become human? Will I have to quarantine for two weeks again?" Ariel asked with concern.

"But you'll have your home, heh heh. Life's full of tough choices, isn't it? Yep yep.

Oh, and there is one more thing.

We haven't discussed the subject of payment," Ursula said.

"But I don't have-" Ariel said quickly.

"I'm not asking much, just a token really, a trifle!

What I want from you is - your voice," Ursula sang.

"But without my voice, how can I-?" Ariel started to ask.

"You'll have your looks, your pretty face.

And don't underestimate the importance of your finances, ha!" Ursula said before she continued to sing. "The men around here don't like a lot of blabber.

They think a girl who gossips is a bore!

Yet on land it's much prefered for ladies not to say a word.

And after all dear, what is idle babble for?

Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation.

True gentlemen avoid it when they can

But they dote and swoon and fawn

On a lady who's withdrawn

It's she who holds her tongue who get's a man.

Come on you poor unfortunate soul

Go ahead!

Make your choice!

I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day

It won't cost much

Just your voice!

You poor unfortunate soul

It's sad but true

If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet

You've got the pay the toll

Take a gulp and take a breath

And go ahead and sign the scroll

Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys

The boss is on a roll

This poor unfortunate soul

Beluga sevruga

Come winds of the Caspian Sea

Larengix glaucitis

Et max laryngitis

La voce to me

Now, sing!"

Ariel then sang opera, and her soul was being dragged out of her body. Flotsam and Jetsam were mutated sea horses who were produced wellness passes for more unfortunate souls.

"Keep singing!" Ursula shouted.

Ariel sang and then everything around them began to burn.

Then I, Persephone, the Greek Goddess of agriculture and vegetation and Queen of the Underworld, was summoned.

Out of the ash came a new world.

[writingpuddle]

“Don’t you ever get lonely?” Nicky asked, digging in his pack for a chocolate bar. To their left, the cliff dropped away precipitously, sheer granite cliffs like sentinels at the end of the world.

Neil stared at Nicky. “No,” he said.

“What, never?”

Neil looked out across the sweeping vista of mountains before them. A speck that could have been a hawk or a raven or a sparrow spun against the sky, too small and distant to judge. He’d stood in the middle of busy cities; he’d gone to school with hundreds; he’d even tried out for a track and field team once. He’d been surrounded by people, and he had been so ferociously lonely it had been like a knife in his chest.

“No,” he said, because he didn’t know how to explain—didn’t even want to, really. He’d felt more alone back in the so-called real world than he’d ever felt in the wilderness, miles from any other person. When there was no one around, there was no one to miss.

~~~The Long-Distance Hiker AU (A Bullet Point Fic)~~~

So after Neil’s mom died he kinda of ghosted around for a while and eventually ended up in a small hiking town in California

He met a bunch of thru hikers and figured, hey, my dad probably won’t find me if I’ve fucked off into the wilderness

So he starts hiking

And pretty soon he realizes it’s the best thing he could imagine

He spends all summer in the mountains and when winter rolls around he finds a temporary job in a skiing town working in a second hand gear shop

He’s an ultralighter in the most accidental sense possible

His gear is weird and cobbled together and his shoes are held together with dental floss

He sleeps under a tarp with a down blanket and a thin foam mat and he’ll eat the same shit day in day out without even registering it while he covers frankly obscene distances every single day

It basically gives Kevin an ulcer

Kevin’s an ultralighter, but in the stuck up, rich bitch way; his gear is probably worth thousands of dollars and he’ll lecture anyone who listens about ripstop nylon and is super snobby and elitist about who is a so-called “real” thru hiker (hint: anyone who doesn’t do it his way isn’t a real thru hiker)

(don’t worry he’ll get smacked around a little by people like Dan and stop being such a little bitch about it but he grew up rich so even though it might’ve been shit living with Riko he really doesn’t always take into consideration the context of how much fucking money gear costs when he’s preaching about ultralighting)

(yes I’m taking out my dislike for pretentious rich ultralighters on him, okay, but the difference is he’ll have character growth versus the people I met are probably still being preachy and self-important to this day)

Andrew’s like the exact opposite

His pack weighs like seventy pounds and he’ll pull a six-inch knife (a gross misuse of smart gear weight management) at anyone who comments

He has a completely contained single person tent that’s big enough to sit up in and a four-inch inflatable mattress

His sleeping bag is rated to like -20 even when he’s hiking in the summer

Nicky swears he once saw him pull a full-sized chocolate cake out of his backpack three days down the trail and everyone says that’s stupid and made up but secretly think its totally true

Andrew likes to hike alone but somehow he’s never more than a day away from Aaron and Nicky and when he keeps showing up near them it gets harder and harder to pretend like he doesn’t actually care about them

Nobody says anything, obviously, but Nicky gets a little teary when he starts to notice the pattern

It was Nicky’s idea; in this universe Erik got him into hiking when he was in Germany so he got the cousins into it as a bonding exercise and then it turned out it was the best family activity they had ever found

This is several years after they graduated and they’ve scrounged together enough time and money to hike the Pacific Crest Trail

Now the upperclassmen:

So Stephanie Walker is a trail angel: one of those people who lives near a long trail and provides snacks and rides and somewhere to stay and basically helps out anyone who comes by with whatever’s going on; she’s pulled a lot of people out of frankly dangerous situations and she’s not afraid of anything the trail has to offer

So Renee finds herself and her faith while living this life of meeting new hikers every day and it’s almost inevitable that she starts to hike and find solace in the wilderness

Allison is one of those Wild types: she’s done some hiking (much to her parents’ chagrin) but she’s never done a thru trail or even much overnighting before, but she’s ready to throw herself into it and doesn’t care how dirty she gets

She totally carries a tiny spa package though

The other women are very skeptical because they take pride in being free from societies expectations and make up and shaving but they come around after Allison pulls it out one time when they’re seven days into a ten day section and gives them face masks and they all have a little pedicure pampering session (so, so needed when your feet are being beaten and bruised by hard terrain all day)

She has a lot of new, expensive gear and is super touchy about people trying to help her (because a beautiful woman absolutely gets people trying to “help” all the time and it’s infuriating and condescending) but she learns to accept help from her closest friends

She was showing off near the beginning of the trail drinking with a bunch of guys and probably got too sloshed trying to act tough (alcohol hits you waaaay harder at high elevations dude, if you’re not expecting it you can get Fucked Up really fast)

It’s Seth who realizes things are getting out of control and pulls her out before the guys can do anything shitty which is how their friendship and eventually their relationship gets started

They piss everyone off with their constant breaking up and getting back together on the trail, sometimes hiking together for days and then splitting up and going to hike with other people but they find a lot of healing out there in the woods

Seth’s mom is totally dismissive and condescending of his hiking, she thinks it’s a stupid waste of time, but she thinks everything he does is a stupid waste of time so at least when he’s out there without cell service he has an excuse to not respond to her

Now Dan

Dan’s trailer trash, right

She’s got no fucking cash but she has this dream in her head to hike the PCT and she’s going to fucking well do it

Her gear is probably most similar to Neil’s except where his is a mess of weird priorities and held together by spit and twine

Hers is meticulously planned

It’s cheap, some of it’s over forty years old, but it’s hers

It’s probably the only stuff in the world that’s actually hers

She accumulated it over about four years, hitting all the second-hand gear events, saving up every penny, packing and repacking and writing everything out in great detail until David Wymack got wind of her plans at a gear event

He’s one of those guys who hiked the PCT thirty years ago back before anyone knew what it was except instead of feeling superior about that it means he knows exactly how much impact experiencing the wilderness can have for disenfranchised people

He approaches Dan and offers to sponsor her hike

She’s resistant at first; she planned this hike, she got all the stuff together, she was going to do it without anyone’s help

But he comes back and says he just wants her to write about her experiences and publish it on his website

He’ll pay her for the work, of course

And she wavers and finally caves because this will move her plans up by about two years if she can make money while she’s hiking instead of having to hoard up enough cash to take six whole months off

Her blog posts are a huge hit

She doesn’t preach about how the mountains saved her, or get too metaphorical about hiking or anything like that

She just talks about the real, raw experience of hiking

The friendships, the trials, the triumphs

The infuriating people whose mental image of the hiking community doesn’t include poor black girls who grew up in a trailer park, who say she’s an inspiration like they actually mean something else

She talks about the days that she flies up the mountains and the days that she can barely drag herself out of her tent and the day she realizes that Allison and Renee, these women she thought could not be more different from her, are the best friends she’s ever had in the world

And she’s takes fucking amazing pictures

She’s also very determined not to have a trail romance

That’s stupid and cliché

Look that guy Matt might be hot but she’s not interested

He’s clearly working through some stuff and she’s not here to be some guys savior or whatever

So Matt then

His mom helped him get sober a couple years ago and he’s been struggling with it ever since

She got him into hiking as an outlet and a healthy hobby and he took to it like a fish to water

He’s got legs for days and he doesn’t mind carrying a heavy pack, he can hike for hours without stopping

(The fact that he’s faster than her pisses Dan off a bit, but sometimes you gotta accept that you’ve got short legs and just hike your own hike, there aren’t any prizes for speed)

He relapsed again a couple months before his hike started and he and Randy weren’t even sure if he was going to be able to do it but he’s damned well going to try

So anyway

Pretty much everyone is trying to actually hike the PCT except Neil

He drives everyone bonkers

His motivation isn’t really about the trail so much as staying out in the wilderness where there are no gangsters to murder you

So he just does whatever he wants and keeps showing up at random points

He’s technically got one of the thru hiker permits but he frequently goes off on side trails not on the PCT and ends up hiding out in the woods so rangers won’t find him

He’ll just hitchhike straight through boring sections or anywhere that you pass through too many towns where he’d rather not be remembered

He keeps coming back to the PCT but it’s more like it’s a rough guideline of where to go than an actual route he’s taking

He’s got his natural colouring back because who’s dying their hair or wearing fucking contacts on the trail?

But also

Who would ever associate a runaway mafia kid with a guy with overgrown hair and a stained t-shirt who’s sitting serenely on a mountain pass in a photo on David Wymack’s website?

Nobody

That’s right kids, Nathan doesn’t have a role in this one because he doesn’t find Neil

Maybe he gets killed in a shoot out or something and some other gangster steps up and takes over, and in the shuffle Neil’s just kinda forgotten

Maybe he finds out months later and he just stares at the computer in shock because he should have known, shouldn’t he? He should have felt it when his father died

He should have realized that he was free

That happens later though

Who fucking cares what Riko’s doing honestly

Kevin has somehow attached himself to Andrew and is driving him up the wall with advice to improve his hiking/base weight/distance/etc and he sees this guy (Neil) who regularly covers like thirty or forty miles a day (obscene!) and is like YES this guy is my people!

Except when he starts talking to Neil he realizes he’s this total weirdo who doesn’t even have a cook set he just eats cold food (a common enough thing among ultralighters, but not like this. Oh god, not like this)

Neil’s just sitting there gnawing on a pack of uncooked ramen like a fucking animal

And he’s not! Even! Hiking! Properly!

You’ll never finish the trail if you hike like this!

Neil just gives him a blank look

He’s got no interest on getting on some “verified” list of people who hiked the PCT, he just likes hiking

Andrew likes him

I mean obviously he despises him what the hell is with that janky ass setup but also he’s so unconventional and unapologetic how could Andrew not be into that?

They’re the kind of people who give wilderness rescue personnel grey hair, but for completely opposite reasons

Neil keeps running into them because even though he covers so much ground every day, his meandering route means he doesn’t actually move down the trail very fast

They’ll be like wait weren’t you like a week ahead of us and he’s like oh yeah I heard about this cool waterfall and took a sixty mile side trail to visit it and nearly ran into a momma bear with two cubs, it was awesome

And they all start to grow on him, and each other, almost accidentally

Look none of them are out there romanticizing the trail as some kind of magical place where the problems of the real world disappear and the people are somehow more pure and true or whatever

People are people and they bring their issues wherever they go

But there is a paring down

When your daily concerns are just mileage and shoes and food and weather, a lot of other stuff fades into the background

And well the truth is a lot of people are on those trails to work through stuff

And they find each other

Gradually, without even really noticing

They team up in June, groups of three or four with crampons and ice axes to get over the Sierra’s.

Neil was planning to just do side hikes and wait for the snow to melt—he isn’t so reckless he wants to go over the ice alone, but Kevin insists he join them and for the first time he hikes in a group with Kevin and the cousins all together.

It’s weird

He’s not used to people talking to him when he’s hiking and he frequently doesn’t respond and it’s not because he’s being rude he’s just so focussed on what he’s doing and what’s around him that he literally doesn’t hear them

And then

Nicky slips

It’s not his fault, they did nearly everything right (Kevin may be a pretentious ass, but he does know his shit) but sometimes shit just happens for no reason

And they’re at the edge of the ice sheet so Nicky’s just untying himself from the rope that links them together, he’s not even moving, and the snow beneath him shifts and he doesn’t even have time to scream before he’s hurtling down the snow below the trail towards the cliff at the bottom of the ice sheet

Neil doesn’t even hesitate

He dives after him, ice axe in one hand like a fucking gladiator and gets his arm wrapped around Nicky’s waist

He slams the ice axe into the snow and it drags behind them, and it looks like it’s not going to catch, and the edge is getting closer and closer—

Until the axe catches something, and Nicky and Neil lurch to a halt, clinging to each other, hanging off of Neil’s one arm and the axe.

Neil looks up and sees Andrew, Aaron and Kevin in various places on the slope above them, their axes dug in and long gouge marks in the snow beneath their heels, strung together by a ropeline that’s still attached to Neil’s waist

That rope is probably the only thing that slowed them down enough that Neil could stop them without ripping his arm clean off

It’s hardly a by-the-book rescue, and in fact it was pretty stupid, but they’re okay, they’re okay, that’s all that matters

That night they light a fire down by a lake and Nicky cries on Aaron’s shoulder and Andrew keeps clenching his fists because he’s never felt so helpless in his life and it was Neil that jumped, not him

He knows that he was at the far end of the line and he would’ve made it worse if he had, but doing nothing while Neil risked his life to save Nicky

They don’t really talk about it

But you kind of can’t help being friends after that

And even after they’re out of the high mountains and back on solid trails Neil keeps tabs on them

And Nicky befriends the others and without even meaning to they start to develop a sort of loose trail family vibe

They’re not hiking together all the time like some of the groups they meet, but they check on each other all the time and wait up in resupply villages and bond over firepits and shitty hot chocolate mixes and swap tips on how to keep the butt-chafing at bay

Neil sticks to the outskirts, mostly, but he starts to open up a little, in fits and spurts, tiny non-specific things that wouldn’t even register to most people but that this particular group knows means more than that

He’s slowing down, too, sometimes hiking entire days with people and covering half his usual distance even when there’s no cliffs or glaciers threatening him

He likes hiking with Andrew the most, though

Because neither of them are big talkers when they’re hiking and Andrew’s pack might be absurdly heavy but he’s got legs the size of tree trunks and endurance to match, so he might not be fast but he can outwalk half the people on the trail by sheer relentlessness

They both like to camp up high, near treeline (so Neil can set up his tarp) and in the places that it’s legal they’ll start a small fire and Andrew will loan Neil his pot so he can actually cook his fucking ramen for once and sometimes they’ll watch the Milky Way rise and share secrets under the open sky, not looking at each other so they don’t break the illusion, and sometimes they won’t say anything at all but it’s okay, because they’re saying nothing together.

It’s nice

It’s maybe more than nice

The summer draws to a close and Neil is starting to realize that he doesn’t want it to

He never wants the hiking season to end but this time it’s different

This summer has been perfect

And he knows deep in his bones that once they leave the trail things will change

The others have lives to return to, and Neil…

The trail is all he has

And if he’s barely hiking alone at all these days, well, who’s going to call him out on it?

The others like having him around because he stops them from getting too fixated on the Trail to see the trail

He still takes side trips but now sometimes people will come along and he’ll stand at the base of a canyon staring up at the glossy white walls and Dan will snap a photo for her blog and smile, because the PCT is just a line on a map, but the hike is all of them; together

He’s hiking with Andrew in September when a storm hits, this time vicious

Neil huddles under his tarp in resignation

Storms suck, he always gets wet, no matter how much he lowers the tarp, but he’s used to it; he just waits it out

But it’s just getting worse

Hail lashing at the tarp and pummelling the ground and maybe for once he regrets camping so high up

And Andrew has to shout to be heard but finally Neil realizes he’s offering to let Neil come into his tent

You’re going fucking freeze, just get in here

Neil goes

It’s weird

It’s instantly weird

The tent is not built for two people, so they’re both sitting cross legged with their heads ducked to not press against the roof

The storms probably not going to let up soon, Andrew says

Yeah, Neil says.

Andrew sighs

Lie down, he says, and Neil does, and Andrew lies down next to him, shoulder to shoulder

It barely works, only because neither of them are very big people

Neil’s pack is outside wrapped in his tarp and all he has is his damp down blanket but he’s not cold anymore, not with Andrew bundled up in his ridiculous sleeping bag right next to him

The storm rages for nearly two days and what passes between them in that tent, nobody knows

If they’re barely ever seen apart after it, well. You only see people so often on the trail. It could easily be a coincidence

And if Neil doesn’t even set his tarp up on rainy nights anymore, well. They never camp near other people anyway, so who’s to know?

In early October the snow blows in, blocking the route to the finish.

They drift around a resupply village for almost two weeks, waiting for the trail to reopen, but finally even Kevin accepts that it isn’t going to

After all of that, none of them are going to finish the trail

It’s a disappointment—of course it is. For most of them, the end of their trip is now a nondescript exit into a village, no fanfare, no closure; they didn’t even know they were done for days

Still, it’s not so bad

They’re all together

Allison suggests Vegas, but they all laugh it down; they wouldn’t even know how right now, bearded and hairy and ravenous as they are

They go to South Carolina instead

It’s not really even discussed that they’ll stay together, they just all go; Allison hosts them at her resort and they laugh at the incongruous weirdness of seeing each other in real clothes, and it’s different, but it’s also okay

They stay for another two weeks, and they don’t hike another fucking inch

We should try the Continental Divide Trail sometime, Dan says

Her blog is so popular now that she’s got sponsorships from more than just Wymack waiting for her

She could make a career out of hiking and blogging and doing gear reviews and it’s a dream she’d never even realized she wanted until she had it

And if she accidentally fucked up and ended up with a hot trail boyfriend? Well, nobody’s perfect

And he has a great butt

(she has photos of it on her blog, from when they jumped into a glacier lake naked back in August)

Everyone is jealous

How about that trek in Iceland? Matt suggests

Or the whats-it-called in New Zealand, Allison says

Oh, I bet there’s some good ones in Europe! Nicky says. You guys can all meet Erik!

And it’s going to be different, but it’s not going away, and Neil feels calm in a way he never has at the end of a hiking season before

Eventually everyone has to start making plans to return to their lives, and jobs, and Neil sneaks out to the back of the house to sit in crisp fall air and watch leaves spiral down out of the trees

Andrew follows him

They sit together, watching the moon rise over the hills, and when Andrew asks Neil to come home, Neil says yes

[blackevermore]

x Secrets of The Lake: The Company of Misery and Pain

{ Chapter 8 }

Summary: Vladimir Masters’ family tree has always been tainted by secrets swept under the rug. From generation to generation there have been countless reasons the Masters’ family had seemed to keep private from the public. Even to this day, Vladimir was no exception. But what was one to do when a restless spirit from the settlement years finally breaks free from restraints and demands you answer for your ancestor’s crimes? Vladimir doesn’t know. However, Clockworks does.

Notes: We just having fun, rewriting some of the canon, new adventure new characters. I will apologize now for any grammar, spelling, weird sentence structuring in advance. My brain writes faster than my fingers and even when I go back through to reread it I still miss things. Sorry about that!

Word Count: 2681

P.s: Fighting scenes are haaaaard :)

The morning went by in a flash as the Masters household found itself being decorated head to toe by 4pm. Not many people showed up to the party luckily, many chose to just enjoy their day off which was no sweat off Vlad’s back. The less the merrier. Another reason he hosted it at his home instead of at an event center. In the back of his mind though he did enjoy getting to brag about his riches to those that did arrive. The company gathering started at 6pm which left just enough time for Vlad to tell Dani yes and no for all the antics she swore she was going to get away with.

“I feel as though I don’t have to tell you not to throw any form of ice powers at the guest. But I know you well, Danielle, so no throwing ice powers at the guest.” Vlad stood in the middle of his foyer supervising the ghost staff hanging up streamers. Dani flew around helping out where she could and rolling her eyes as her father spoke.

“I won’t” She replied before shooting off towards the living room which was converted to the winter section. “Unless they ask.”

“No!” Vlad yelled and shook his head but let her be. She was in a good mood and that’s all that mattered.

“Also I invited Danny as my plus ghost.” Dani flew back into the foyer sucking on a slushie. Vlad rose a brow and nodded, not really having anything to say that would be good. Hopefully the two wouldn’t cause too much trouble, if they did, he would just brush it off and distract his guest till it was fixed. Vlad let out a big yawn feeling the sudden tiredness starting to take over. He had missed his 12pm nap due to finishing emails and the paperwork from last night. He had been running on one cup of coffee and toast and now he could feel the crash coming. 

“You could go take a nap and I’ll finish this, you can trust me.” Dani smiled and gave him a thumbs up.

“Hmm as much as that sounds lovely I prefer to be awake.” He wasn’t going to tell Dani about the dreams, that would have just undid all the work he did to get her away from the topic of the ghost. Vlad held up a hand to excuse himself as he let out another big yawn and Dani shook her head at his stubbornness. “I’ll just have an espresso and tough it out.” Vlad walked towards the kitchen and asked one of the chefs to make him a cup. As he waited he sat at the kitchen table patiently, crossing his legs he pulled out his phone and checked the time. It was five minutes to 5pm and that left an hour for him to mentally prepare himself.

“Here you are, Sir.” The chef floated over and placed the cup on the table and Vlad nodded his thank you. Taking a sip he could feel his sense heighten back up once again. The party only lasted for two and half hours, if he could make it through the party he could spend the rest of the day however. Hopefully however wasn’t cleaning up any messes left by Dani and Danny. Vlad took in a deep breath and looked around the kitchen. The food was perfect as he expected and the dessert tower looked ever so daring. Ghost hurried in and out around him setting up stations, it oddly felt homely having so much activity around him, that was how lonely he had been for so long. 

Vlad snorted and turned to look out the giant bay windows and saw how beautiful the sun lit up the view of the garden. He had just ordered new roses and lilies to be planted along the side of the house. A very expensive statue of a woman holding a vase above her head was the centerpiece and brought it all together. Not many people knew it, and if they did they were miles away, Vlad had a keen eye for gardening and landscaping. His mother had a giant garden and when she died he took it over and always impressed his step mothers with arrangements. ‘I need more plants inside the house’ he thought and finished his cup before standing and leaving. He floated upstairs through the ceiling and into his room to ready himself with a shower and a fresh suit. Once he was dressed he stood in his mirror looking himself over and decided to leave half of his hair down for the occasion. Making his way back downstairs he noticed that tonight's entertainment was slipping through the floor talking to each other. They looked worried and some flatout had a terrified expression plastered across their faces. 

“Is there a problem?” Vlad called out to one of the groups which had two female ghosts dressed for the spring and one male ghost for the summer. They looked nervous to say anything but finally one of the girls spoke up.

“You don’t feel that?” Vlad narrowed his eyes and looked towards his sides then back to her and shook his head.

“Feel what exactly?”

“That uneasy feeling, it's everywhere in here and everyone is talking about it. Surely you’ve noticed it, dude.” The male ghost spoke in a typical Cali accent and shook in fear. Vlad tried to make sense of what they were saying but for the past few days his home had felt like his home. Nothing other than his dreams seemed out of place. And the only uneasy feeling he had was only related to what happened in the Ghost Zone. Vlad cleared his throat, not allowing the other ghost to see his face shift into worry and put on a gentle smile.

“I can assure you there is not a problem here, if there were I would have handled it by now. Now come along and get ready for the party. If there is a problem I will handle it.” The ghosts looked between each other then slowly nodded before flying away. ‘Everyone is talking about it?’ Vlad hadn’t heard anything from his two maids nor the chefs he hired on. If there was a threat his security would have alerted him and he’d wouldn’ve dealt with it by now. Or maybe the uneasy feeling was from the Ghost Zone and the ghosts he allowed in were just shaken up. He hadn’t heard from anyone that the screaming was back but that didn’t mean that Tayonna’s weird emotional side effects had worn off. Vlad had to push the thought to the side as he nearly ran into another ghost who came through the floor.

“Sorry, Sir!” It was a child ghost dressed in a pilgrim outfit, seconds later her parent were following right behind them trying to catch them. This ghost however was dressed more like an autumn spirit with falling gold and red leaves as a cape.

“I’m so sorry.” The adult ghost said with a nervous smile and Vlad stepped out of their way.

“All is well. Carry on.” He still couldn’t believe he allowed Dani to convince him to allow one ghost dressed like a pilgrim. 

As the clock ticked on slowly his employees started to arrive, he greeted them at the door and watched as their mouths dropped as they saw the theme. Some couldn’t make it through the door before asking him about the ‘effects’ he set up. As more poured in Vlad could help himself to a few more yawns, he tried his best to excuse himself when he felt them coming, but it also seemed like they were consistent. The expresso must have worn out and Vlad told himself he had to make a pit stop in the kitchen to refresh. As the last guess filed through the door, Vlad thanked whoever above the number of guests was less than last year. That meant the party wouldn’t likely drag on like years before. Straightening himself he made his rounds once again greeting and thanking everyone for coming and hoping they enjoyed themselves. A solid hour had passed as he did his rounds, engaged in conversations and lied about how much money it was to hire these magicians.

“Must have cost you no more than a penny,” one of the guests joked and Vlad only chuckled and agreed. Even if the ghost were real people he hired it wouldn’t really put a dent in his wallet. While talking he found Kate had actually arrived and she busied herself at the autumn station watching the show. Of course as her face didn’t move much she seemed very bored. He stopped at a few stations to ask if the ghost were alright and they seemed to be having more fun than the humans. A few of them showed off their powers which amazed the simple minds and Vlad felt at ease. Then his ghost senses went off and he spun to look around. He didn’t see anything or anyone and he swiftly made it to the living room. He clicked his tongue as he saw Danny had arrived, of course not coming through the front door like a normal person. Danny and Dani were putting on a snow act which earned him a lot of ‘ooo’s and ‘ahh’s and ended with them making slushies for those that asked. When they finished Danny looked up and noticed Vlad in the crowd and quickly shot over to him.

“Nice party but we have a problem, a very big problem.” Danny’s green eyes were wide and Vlad could see fear in them.

“Care to explain?” Vlad narrowed his eyes and leaned in as a few guests walked by and waved.

“Ethay ortalpay inway ouryay asementbay,” Danny pointed downward then looked over his shoulder to make sure Dani wasn’t in ear shot. Vlad’s eyes widened and he turned on his heels like they were on fire and headed towards the hallway. The party was only located in the large foyer and the two living rooms, no one was allowed to go past there which gave Vlad a great excuse of having to grab something from his downstairs office and being right back. When he made it away from everyone else he sunk through the floor and into his basement. Vlad could almost feel his core run cold when he noticed his security system completely busted up and the portal cracked open as the Ghost Zone leaked out. The basement looked completely wrecked as things were knocked over and broken on the floor. The only thing that lit up the room was the faint green glow that peaked through the crack door of the portal.

“I asked the other ghost if this happened when they arrived but most of them said they didn’t come through your portal at all.” Danny now stood behind Vlad looking over the damage. “How come you didn’t notice this?”

“Daniel, I have a job I have to keep up with, and mind you, I was unconscious for three days. I didn’t feel the need to come down here as of recently.” Vlad marched over to his equipment with anger but also with a broken heart. It took a lot of work building this and a lot of money as well. Vlad tried to touch the switches but purple static shot out from the controls. Vlad grumbled and cursed sweet treats as he tried to touch it again but small shocks licked at his fingers. Finally he had enough and used his own electric power to reshock the system causing the system screen to turn back on. Through the badly cracked glass the words 'intruder’ flashed. 

“This isn’t good,” Vlad turned towards Danny who was by the portal wiping at something on the ground. Vlad walked over and stood above him and noticed the puddles of water. “You don’t think-”

“I-I have no idea.” Vlad cut him off and before Danny could say anything else a loud scream came from upstairs causing the two to jump into action. They quickly slipped back through the floor in the hallway and hurried out to the foyer. When they did they slowed as they felt their feet become wet, the floor had become flooded with water to their ankles.

From the living room Dani flew out and looked at them with big eyes asking them what was going on. Guests started to panic as they tried to find a place to stand that didn’t have them in the water. The water was still but it seemed to get higher the longer everyone stood there. That’s when all three halfas noticed the ghost guest started to panic and frantically flew out of the house.

“Wait what’s going on?!” Danny called out as a ghost shot past him and he reached out to grab their wrist. It was one of the spring girls. 

“There is so much uneasiness here! It’s not good we have to leave!” The girl snatched her arm away from Danny and quickly flew off with her company.

“Um guys?” Dani flew closer to the others and pointed downward as the water began to ripple in large symmetrical ringlets. The guest gasped but stood frozen in their spots as they watched on. Vlad knew he had to get everyone out of here before Tayonna started to rear her head and appear. 

“Everyone I’m sorry to say there has been a terrible burst in my pipes and we must exit.” Vlad said loudly trying to get everyone’s attention and pointing towards the front door. The guest all agreed and started towards the door but when someone in the front tried the handle they couldn’t get it open.

“The door won't open, Sir!” Danny quickly set into motion flying over and trying the door himself and worried when he couldn’t open it either. The water was now reaching up to people's knees and panic started to set in as a few of the female workers started pushing and shoving others to get to the door. Danny gave a harsh ‘stand back’ and shot the door handle off then rammed it open. Vlad knew it wasn’t appropriate to think of how much that would cost to get fixed but the thought still lingered. When the door busted open the water and the guest quickly rushed out. Vlad quickly hurried out to calm everyone down with minimum questions and send them on their way.

“Well that was one hell of a party, Sir.” Kate held up her dress and continued to sip a glass of wine as she walked up behind him.

“Send out a message that tomorrow is also an off day.” Vlad rubbed the bridge of his nose and huffed.

“Right.” Kate handed him the glass and walked away. When everyone was either in their cars or already gone, Vlad strolled hastily back towards his house. Danny and Dani were already inside and he could hear the sound of Danny yelling. When he made it inside Danny was stanced and ready for attack.

“Tayonna we know you’re here, you fucked up a cool party and scared for the guests. Come out already!” Danny yelled.

“Don’t talk to me, boy. You are in the way.” A voice echoed around the room like thunder then it became solid as another puddle of water formed in the center of the floor and Tayonna rose from it. Her bright green eyes were sinister as black tears fell down her face. She stepped out of the water and both Phantoms held up their hands ready to send off ectoblasts. Tayonna was unphased and flipped out her hands to send an electric blast towards the both of them. When they dodged it and it crashed into the wall only a few feet away from Vlad. Danny tried to counter attack but was quickly caught by a tentacle from the water pulling him down. Danny blasted the tentacle to break free but couldn’t make it out of the way before an ectoblast shot him down. Dani managed to land a hit on the ghost and did a quick cheer. But the way Tayonna turned and stared deep into her eyes caused the younger Phantom to still and become breathless. Dani’s head started to flash through every bad memory she had and broke her. Within seconds Dani was shakenily falling to the floor with tears in her eyes.

“S-stop it! Stop it!” Dani yelled out gripping the sides of her head trying to shake away the thoughts and the hurtful feelings. Dani looked back up towards Tayonna then down again when she felt half of her body starting to break apart. Danny let out a yell to leave her alone but Tayonna was already making her way towards the child.

“Why do we allow them to keep hurting us?” Tayonna asked and Dani couldn’t understand her question. “He hurt you and yet you choose to stay with him.” Tayonna reached out a hand and wiped the tears from Dani’s face. Just then a hand shot out and grabbed Tayonna by the throat and threw her to the ground.

“That is enough.” Vlad commanded and stood between the two. “You may come after me but you will never harm her.” Tayonna coughed and pushed herself to sit up, her eyes narrowed as she looked between Dani and Vlad, like lighting her body shot back up and she stood.

“Is this how you protect her?” Tayonna asked but Vlad refused to answer and kept his ground. Dani was still on the ground but her body was pulling itself back together. “You hurt her and used her, but yet you love her.”

“You know nothing about us.” Vlad hissed and stuck out a hand to shield Dani.

“I know what it’s like to trust someone and have them betray you.” Tayonna brought her hand up to her chest and looked away panting a bit before her hand turned invisible and sunk into her body. She let out a painful cry as she dug her fingers into her core and Vlad felt it. He fell to his knees as he felt his core once again being attacked. It wasn’t as unbearable as before but it still took a lot out of him. Tayonna pulled her hand away from her chest and panted as she came closer and stood above him. She was about to strike him again with a blast but Danny stopped her by shoving her out the way.  When he tackled her he quickly let her go and flew back into the air and shot her with shot after shot. Tayonna let out a cry of pain as she tried to protect herself. When Danny thought he had done enough he held back his final throw to watch the smoke clear. When it did, fear set into his stomach as he felt a sudden gust of wind brush against his neck. He tried to shield himself as Tayonna placed her hand on his body and electrocuted him. The shock ran deep inside him and touched the base of his core. Every muscle in Danny’s body tightened and a cramp ran up his left leg. The only time he ever felt something like this was when Vlad managed to get ahold of him. When Tayonna removed her hand smoke rose from Danny’s body and he began to fall.

Danny fell to the ground with a hard thud. Vlad had managed to get off the ground and told Dani to go and get his guns. He had to weaken Tayonna before she not only killed Danny but also him and Dani. Dani sank through the floor and Vlad stumbled about still feeling his core pulse sporadically. She had somehow tied their cores together during their first fight and could easily weaken him. Vlad noticed though that when she did this it also hurt her. Vlad had never touched another ghost’s corem he only took the liberty of learning the basics of them. Had he known back in his crazed days that crushing them would hurt like hell he may have done it to Danny. An idea formed in his mind he knew would work but also cause him a great amount of pain. If whatever he did to his core tied back to her then it was worth doing, not only to save himself but his guest and also his house.

“Tayonna!” Vlad called out, grabbing the ghost’s attention, he brought his hand to his chest and sunk it towards his core. Tayonna knew what he was doing and quickly shot towards him to stop him. Vlad wasted no time placing his hand on his core and sending a high voltage electric shock through it. They both cried out in pain and fell to the floor. Tayonna began to cry and claw at her chest and Vlad shocked them back again. Each shock made him woozy and on the verge of passing out but he had to keep her down. With another shock he pulled his hand out of his chest and rolled to his side. He was weak and Tayonna was barely moving. He could see she was still conscious but she laid limp with only the sound of crying coming from her body.

“Vladan, please stop...Vladan, please stop.” Tayonna’s begging was broken and she had  managed to shakingly move her head and look up to him. Vlad, though hanging on barely and unable to move, brows knotted as he looked at her. The small voice in his head told him he should feel worried for her, sad even, to maybe reach out a hand and apologize. But that voice was quickly shut out by Vlad’s consciousness telling it to shut up. This ghost had caused him so much trouble, why should he feel any sympathy towards her? His name was also most certainly not Vladan! He didn’t know her and yet he wanted to pull her towards him and tell her he was sorry. As Vlad found a bit of strength he pushed himself up on his elbow, panting and groaning he sat up and moved away from her. Dani came back with two guns and quickly placed one down to take aim with the other. She shot it towards Tayonna and caught the ghost in a string with two metal balls that wrapped around her and shocked her even more. Tayonna let out her infamous wail causing the whole house to shake before passing out on the ground. 

Dani threw the gun down and ran over to Vlad first with tears in her eyes, “Dad! Are you okay?!” Vlad could barely keep his eyes open as he held his chest and breathed out.

“I’m fine,” he managed to get words out even if it was a lie. He pointed towards Danny and told the youngest Phantom to go check on him. Dani wanted to protest but Vlad insisted and she ran over to the other. Danny was beat up but he was fine, way better than Vlad, the boy groaned and sat up wincing when he turned his back. Dani quickly helped Danny up and brought him over to Vlad.

“No dying on us fruitloop, that’s so unlike you.” Danny stumbled to his knees and reached out a hand to rest on Vlad’s shoulder. The older halfa huffed and chuckled as he pushed Danny off.

“Only in your dream, little badger.” They sat on the ground for a moment trying to catch their breath before turning over and looking at the ghost now wrapped up.

“What do we do with her?” Dani asked, scared more than the others, she could still feel Tayonna’s powers through her mind. Dani hadn’t thought about any of that for years and the sudden rush of emotions really made her uneasy.

“Handcuffs, we need to place them on her and keep her here to figure this out.” Vlad coughed out, he was starting to feel his powers about to tap out and he couldn’t fight it. Dark rings formed above him and he was back in his human form. Danny seemed almost worried and ready to ask him what happened while he was out but held his tongue. The young man reached towards his side and grabbed the ghost handcuffs he always kept on him and got up. He limped over to Tayonna and clamped them on her with ease and they auto activated. Danny gasped as he saw dark rings form around her and transform her into a more human appearance. 

“Well this is a lot messier than I thought,” Danny mumbled and moved out of the way for the others to see. Vlad held his breath as he saw Tayonna as she was in his dreams. She was now human with dark skin and messy dark brown hair and her clothes even had changed colors. A pit in Vlad’s stomach sunk deeper and he felt like he was about to throw up. He pushed Dani away and turned his head as his stomach emptied itself. Instead of stomach acid and food it was all ectoplasma mixed with a bit of blood. Vlad panted heavily and tried to push himself away so he wouldn’t have to look at it. But as he did so a red mist floated off his body and a face formed through it. It was his own, sadden and staring him down like he had done the worst possible thing. Vlad didn’t have time to react as he felt his eyes grow heavy and his body fall back onto the floor.

He knew this wasn’t right, sneaking out of the cottage as his family slept, trying to make it to the trees behind the house without making a sound. He told himself over and over he shouldn’t have agreed to something so crazy especially with a servant. A servant! Of all the faces that passed him in the town square or even while he was back in Europe, he chose to follow a servant. But those beautiful haunting green eyes stole his breath away every time he stole a glance. He had cornered himself and struck up conversation with her when he could and found her exciting. She seemed far beyond the cold soils of the colonies, especially when she spoke about where she came from. 

“Africa is home of the true earth bound people, we all come from there but so many left for colder places.” Her words sound like poetry and he wondered where she learnt that. It had only been a year since he arrived and he longed to be taught by her as he would do to she. Stumbling through the line of trees he grumbled and pushed past the wild grass and broken twigs. When he finally made it past the fallen wild life he came to a clearing that stretched into a pond. The moon seemed so much closer here than it did when he left the house and it shone graciously, illuminating everything in its wake. Vladan was taken back by how beautiful nature was at night and took a moment to himself to take it all in. He lowered his eyes when he saw the person he was looking for and quickly came up behind her.

Tayonna stood by the edge of the water and looked down at her reflection. She was dressed only in her night clothes, unlike Vladan who still wore his day clothes, with a purple shawl wrapped around her. Her wild hair was out of its bonnet and rested gently just above her shoulders, wild and untamed curls stuck out in various places but it made her look even more in tune with nature. Vladan took his place beside her causing her to smile when his reflection showed up.

“I was sure you wouldn’t come,” she said and turned towards him with a warm and welcoming smile.

“I had to as I promised.” Vlad slipped his hand into hers and brought her knuckles up for him to kiss. It made her heart stop a bit and her breathing quickened. This was the first time he had ever done that.

“I’m glad,” Tayonna responded and slowly leaned in for a kiss that Vladan had already indicated. When their lips met, Tayonna jumped back in fear as he felt so cold, her eyes widened as he reached out to touch her but turned to mist and blew away.

Tayonna’s eyes shot wide as she laid on the ground still tied up and unable to break free.

“She’s awake!”

[thegreymoon]

Salty Ask list: 9. Most disliked arc? Why?, 20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?, and 27. Least shippable character? The saltier the better!!!

Thank you for the ask, anon!! 💜💜

OK, I will answer both 9 and 10 (because the most disliked arc is no. 10 😅) I have already answered some of these earlier, so I will copy/paste those, if that’s OK! 

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

For Merlin:

Agravaine. He’s just the worst. So greasy and sleazy and just, yuck. Yuck, overall. He’s not even one of those characters one can love to hate, like, for example, Uther, who is also simply the worst, but who will preoccupy you in ways you never saw coming! When it comes to Agravaine, everything about him was so thoroughly hateful, frustrating and unenjoyable, the highlight of the entire season was finally watching him go splat against the wall! The second most hated is that girlfriend of Gwaine’s at the very end that was plying him for information. That entire sequence is just so mind-numbingly infuriating, I can’t even think of it without getting angry. It almost ruined Gwaine for me entirely.

For The Untamed:

Oh, finally an easy one!! 😂😂 Wen Chao, Wang Lingjiao and Wen Zhuliu are in a tight race for the first place here and who is winning depends entirely on who I’m looking at in that precise moment! Of course, Wen Ruohan and Wen Xu can get into the hate bucket too, but they were so bland and boring, they cannot really compare. Jin Guangshan is also the worst, I can’t stand him. The only reason I hate the Wens more is that Jin Guangshan is actually a competent villain on a higher scale of villainy than the previous lot. Jin Zixun is also awful, a ridiculously unredeemable character on every front and Su She can also have an honourable mention.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

For Merlin: 

Oooh! There are so many!! But I think the ones that I rant about the most often are those related to Gwen! Everything about Gwencelot makes me rage! I dislike him and how he treated her and just do not see this epic ~love~ there, at least not on his part, yet they kept bringing him back to mess up her life over and over again. 

Mind you, I am not the biggest fan of Arthur in this context either, he was a terrible boyfriend (though a somewhat better husband because Merlin picked up the slack), even though Arwen >>> Gwencelot by miles and miles. I hated how he would break up with her every five minutes over nonsense and then come crawling back. I hated how she always immediately forgave him, all grateful and relieved, and I always felt like she didn’t really have a choice because the power imbalance between them was staggering. Plus, the fact that she was the one who nursed Uther in his last months after everything he had done to her, and that Arthur had let it happen, infuriates me to no end. 

My loathing for that whole cheating arc is infinite. I hate how the writers could not make up their minds about what they wanted to do with her. On the one hand, they were such cowards in their attempts to keep her ideologically pure, they had already sacrificed a lot of her quirkiness and character to suit Arthur’s needs and wants and to make him look good, so they were reluctant to have her actually cheat because it would undermine him. I don’t understand why they even had to have that entire arc if they were so afraid to go there. She was supposed to be under mind-control, and then they pointed out that the spell works by bringing suppressed emotions to the forefront! Why was that necessary? I mean, you can’t have it both ways! Either do it and own it, or just leave it alone! It would have been so easy to have her choose Lancelot and develop a proper romance there, and then to have Lancelot die, and Gwen fall in love with Arthur afterwards, as he supports her while she grieves. But, no, they had to take this cheap shot at her and humiliate her and have her cleaning pigsties just so that Arthur can angst about it for a few episodes. I am forever mad. 

I also dislike the whole evil!Gwen arc (though a part of me did enjoy watching her go apeshit after quietly swallowing so much injustice throughout the entire five seasons of this show). I feel like they were intentionally undermining the character and her entire relationship with Arthur. The whole cheating nonsense so late into season 4 had already done so much damage, then they went and pulled this poorly-thought-out crap in the second half of season 5, when emotions were already running high and nobody was in the mood to be forgiving of someone trying at and almost succeeding in killing Arthur, who was so much more beloved among the viewers than her. Just imagine how much better spent that time would have been if they had... oh, I don’t know, developed Mordred more and given him a proper reason to turn against Arthur! 

Ugh 😒

For The Untamed: 

I dislike the whole Yanli/JZX romance. I don’t know what he’s like in the novel and the other adaptations, but he gets on my very last nerve in the drama and I never actually saw him do anything meaningful to redeem himself for all the crap he pulled and all the humiliation he piled on to her. I also don’t like the whole Yin Iron nonsense. It just doesn’t tie in properly and the plot holes and inconsistencies it leaves behind are gaping and huge (but, happily, nobody is watching this for the Yin Iron plot 😆). There had to have been better things to do there, especially since it is something that does not exist in the source material. The worst parts of the drama for me somehow always tie back to the Yin Iron. 

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

For Merlin:

Hmmm… when it comes to the most popular ones, I think none of them, because they all get complicated and dark to some degree. But on a platonic level, when it comes to friendships, I would go with Merwen, Merlance and Merwaine. Merlin and Gwen are delightful together, but I have a hard time shipping them romantically without Arthur, there is just no path forward for me there that does not involve him too, and that tips the dynamic into something much more complicated (but still happy for all three of them because I am so not down for jealousy and competition between Merlin and Gwen, Arthur has two hands and he can damn well use them). 

I also think that Lancelot’s love for Merlin was pure, but I just don’t ship it at all and think that there was never anything there except for friendship (I can see Arlance going sexual, though). The same goes for Gwaine, I think that he loved Merlin unconditionally, and as far as friendship goes, it is pure, but if I ship them sexually, then all purity goes out of the window, not just as far as the sex is concerned (because the sex they would be having would be positively filthy) but also because I just can’t imagine a universe in which Merlin does not love and desire Arthur more. The angst, the pain and the darkness are off the charts.

As for the less popular ones, I think the purest is Percival/Elyan regardless of whether you see it as romantic or platonic. There is just so much mutual love, admiration and respect between them! No angst, no lies, no triangles, no drama, just taking care of and supporting each other and living in domestic bliss.

For The Untamed:

WangXian, no contest. They fell in love as kids and continued to love each other for the rest of their lives, even beyond death. The way they love each other is so absolute and so selfless! They both respect and admire the other, they are so supportive and accepting of each other, quirks, flaws and all, and they kind of set the gold standard as far as relationships go!

27. Least shippable character?

For Merlin: 

Eh... this is a tough one. I actually had to step away from this question and think about it and I didn’t come up with anything because the entire main and recurring cast is very shippable. There are, however, characters that aren’t shipped as much as they could be (Elyan, baby, you deserve better 😢), and then there are also characters that result in unsavory ships that are best left unmentioned (but because these are salty asks, I am going to mention them anyway). 

The first one that came to my mind was Gaius, but he is actually very shippable because there is no rule that says you have to ship him in the canon timeline. He has a serious canon het love interest, and a crack one as well. Also, let’s not forget Uther. I’ve seen the fandom float this one as a crack ship, but it is actually very serious and plausible. There is so much complicated history there, decades of it, and definitely a deep, albeit toxic relationship that can absolutely be (and likely even was) sexual. If I was less busy and more inclined to get anon hate, I would totally be open to writing it myself.

I have seen a lot of people list Uther as an answer here, but Uther is very, very shippable! Anthony Head is handsome and charismatic, and he has so much presence as Uther, he could have chemistry with drywall if the script called for it. Again, there is no rule stating that a ship should be wholesome and happy, so let me go over the most obvious ones. When it comes to m/m ships, I already mentioned Gaius, plus I definitely felt it whenever the neighbouring kings came over to visit Camelot (my personal favourite was Lord Godwyn). Uther also has three canon het ships (why, yes, I am counting the troll), most notably Ygraine and Viivienne, and he is 100% shippable with Nimueh (though I prefer Nimueh with Ygraine). Last but not least, there is Morgana. It is squicky incest, yes, but it is also very obvious, if you have the inclination to go there. My jaw was on the floor on my first watch when he confessed that she was his actual biological daughter, because up until then, I totally thought that things would get sexual between them in canon. 

Agravaine is also an obvious (I would even go as far as to say a semi-canon) ship for Morgana. Do I hate it? Yes. Do I think she slept with him to get him to deliver her Arthur’s head? Again, absolutely, yes. Even Kilgharrah is very shippable and he is a giant firebreathing lizard (obviously, laws of physics require transmorphing him into something smaller and (hopefully) human-shaped for the p0rn). 

For The Untamed: 

Jin Zixun and Jin Zixuan. I am forever mad Jin Zixuan (somehow) ends up having sex in canon anyway. My first thought for this was Wen Chao, but no, he is absolutely shippable. Like I said, the ship does not have to be nice, and Wen Chao is very nasty, but also very sexual (plus, there is always Wen Zhuliu).

The one character that I personally am the least inclined to ship is Wen Ning because he is so childlike and it feels like he never mentally developed into an adult. 

Salty Asks

[newstfionline]

Monday, October 19, 2020

As the Coronavirus Surges, a New Culprit Emerges: Pandemic Fatigue (NYT) When the coronavirus began sweeping around the globe this spring, people from Seattle to Rome to London canceled weddings and vacations, cut off visits with grandparents and hunkered down in their homes for what they thought would be a brief but essential period of isolation. But summer did not extinguish the virus. And with fall has come another dangerous, uncontrolled surge of infections that in parts of the world is the worst of the pandemic so far. The virus has taken different paths as leaders have tried to tamp down the spread with a range of restrictions. Shared, though, is a public weariness and a growing tendency to risk the dangers of the coronavirus, out of desire or necessity: With no end in sight, many people are flocking to bars, family parties, bowling alleys and sporting events much as they did before the virus hit, and others must return to school or work as communities seek to resuscitate economies. And in sharp contrast to the spring, the rituals of hope and unity that helped people endure the first surge of the virus have given way to exhaustion and frustration. Researchers from the World Health Organization estimate that about half of the population is experiencing “pandemic fatigue.” One New Yorker summed it up: “I am so tired of everything. Is it going to be over? I want it to be over.”

Biden and Trump Say They’re Fighting for America’s ‘Soul.’ (NYT) It is a phrase that has been constantly invoked by Democratic and Republican leaders. It has become the clearest symbol of the mood of the country, and what people feel is at stake in November. Everyone, it seems, is fighting for it. “This campaign isn’t just about winning votes. It’s about winning the heart and, yes, the soul of America,” Joseph R. Biden Jr. said in August at the Democratic National Convention, not long after the phrase “battle for the soul of America” appeared at the top of his campaign website, right next to his name. Picking up on this, a recent Trump campaign ad spliced videos of Democrats invoking “the soul” of America, followed by images of clashes between protesters and the police and the words “Save America’s Soul,” with a request to text “SOUL” to make a campaign contribution. That the election has become a referendum on the soul of the nation, suggests that in an increasingly secular country, voting has become a reflection of one’s individual morality—and that the outcome hinges in part on spiritual and philosophical questions that transcend politics: What, exactly, is the soul of the nation? What is the state of it? And what would it mean to save it?

Spanish demonstrators call for prosecution of former king (Reuters) Waving red, purple and yellow republican flags, demonstrators in 24 Spanish cities on Sunday called for the prosecution of the former king Juan Carlos who left Spain embroiled in controversy. The 82-year-old former monarch has been living in the United Arab Emirates since leaving Spain in August to avoid further embarrassing his son, King Felipe VI. While not formally under investigation, Juan Carlos could become a target in two inquiries in Spain and Switzerland into alleged corruption associated with a 6.7-billion-euro (£6.1 billion), high-speed Saudi train contract won by Spanish firms.

Covid-19’s first wave largely missed southern Italy. The second wave is hitting it hard. (Washington Post) When northern Italy became the epicenter of the pandemic in the spring, one urgent concern was that the country’s coronavirus outbreak would quickly spread to the less-prosperous south and overwhelm under-resourced regional health systems. That fear wasn’t realized. A strict nationwide lockdown largely contained the virus in the north and brought the outbreak under control. But now the virus is raging again, through Europe and through Italy, with a spike that is again hitting the north but this time also the south. In Campania, which includes Naples, the daily number of detected new cases is five times larger than March’s peak. Compared with six months ago, there is more space to accommodate critical patients in southern Italy. There are more ventilators. Still, many hospitals in the south remain understaffed and have fewer beds per capita than those in the north. They could reach a breaking point if the number of critical patients soars.

Tens of thousands march in Belarus despite firearms threat (Reuters) Tens of thousands of people marched through the streets of the Belarusian capital Minsk on Sunday to demand the resignation of veteran president Alexander Lukashenko, despite a threat by officials to use firearms against protesters. Belarus, a former Soviet republic closely allied with Russia, has been rocked by strikes and weekly street protests since authorities announced that Lukashenko, who has ruled in authoritarian fashion since 1994, had secured re-election on Aug. 9 with 80% of votes. The Interfax news agency put the number of protesters at over 30,000. It said about 50 had been detained by the police, and that the mobile broadband signal had been disrupted in parts of the city. It also said loud noises that sounded like stun grenades had been heard close to the march. A senior police official said last week that officers would reserve the right to use firearms against demonstrators.

Russia shuns tough restrictions even as infections soar (AP) It’s Friday night in Moscow, and popular bars and restaurants in the city center are packed. No one except the staff is wearing a mask or bothers to keep their distance. There is little indication at all that Russia is being swept by a resurgence of coronavirus infections. “I believe that everyone will have the disease eventually,” says Dr. Alexandra Yerofeyeva, an internal medicine specialist at an insurance company, while sipping a cocktail at The Bix bar in Moscow. She adds cheerfully: “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” The outbreak in Russia this month is breaking the records set in the spring, when a lockdown to slow the spread of the virus was put in place. But, as governments across Europe move to reimpose restrictions to counter rising cases, authorities in Russia are resisting shutting down businesses again. The spring lockdown hurt the country’s already weakened economy and compounded Russians’ frustration with plummeting incomes and worsening living conditions, driving Putin’s approval rating to a historic low of 59% in April, according to the Levada Center, Russia’s top independent pollster. Analysts say his government doesn’t want to return to those darks days. “They know that people have just come to the end of their tolerance of the lockdown measures that would be hugely unpopular if they got imposed again,” said Judy Twigg, a professor of political science at Virginia Commonwealth University, specializing in global health.

China Warns U.S. It May Detain Americans in Response to Prosecutions of Chinese Scholars (WSJ) Chinese government officials are warning their American counterparts they may detain U.S. nationals in China in response to the Justice Department’s prosecution of Chinese military-affiliated scholars, according to people familiar with the matter. The Chinese officials have issued the warnings to U.S. government representatives repeatedly and through multiple channels, the people said, including through the U.S. Embassy in Beijing. The Chinese message, the people said, has been blunt: The U.S. should drop prosecutions of the Chinese scholars in American courts, or Americans in China might find themselves in violation of Chinese law. China started issuing the warning this summer after the U.S. began arresting a series of Chinese scientists, who were visiting American universities to conduct research, and charged them with concealing from U.S. immigration authorities their active duty statuses with the People’s Liberation Army, the people said. Chinese authorities have on occasion detained foreign nationals in moves seen by their governments as baseless, or in some instances as diplomatic retaliation, a tactic that many in Washington policy circles have referred to as “hostage diplomacy.”

Thailand’s king faces trouble on two continents (Los Angeles Times) The scion of one of the world’s most privileged families, he wrapped himself in the trappings of royalty, wealth and a comfortable hideaway thousands of miles from his subjects. For Thailand’s King Maha Vajiralongkorn, the cocoon has come undone with remarkable speed. Last week in Berlin, the German government faced questions in Parliament over the king’s legal status in Bavaria, where he resides. Then, visiting Thailand this week to mark the fourth anniversary of his father’s death, the king’s family came face-to-face with pro-democracy protesters agitating for limits on his power. The reverence long demanded of Thailand’s monarchy is breaking down in ways big and small. Thais are refusing to stand for the royal anthem in movie theaters, lampooning the king in Facebook groups and openly questioning his immense wealth and spending. The scrutiny he is now facing in Germany is an added nuisance for a 68-year-old king who has long treated his adopted home as a playground. As the only son of King Bhumibol Adulyadej, who reigned for 70 years, Vajiralongkorn was destined to inherit the throne. But since about 2007 he has spent most of his time in Germany, where the tabloid press has followed his exploits with relish. He was pictured wearing a tight-fitting crop top over an otherwise bare torso while getting on a ski lift, and covered in temporary tattoos during an excursion to a Munich mall.

New Zealand’s Ardern credits virus response for election win (AP) A day after winning a second term in a landside victory, New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said Sunday she sees the election result as an endorsement of her government’s efforts to stamp out the coronavirus and reboot the economy. In the election, Ardern’s liberal Labour Party got 49% of the vote, crushing the conservative National Party, which got 27%. Ardern said the margin of the victory exceeded their expectations. Asked what she would say to those Americans who may draw inspiration from her win ahead of the U.S. elections, Ardern said she hoped people globally could move past the partisan divisions that elections often accentuate. “That can be damaging for democracy, regardless of the side of the House that you sit on,” she said.

As lockdown eases, Israelis again gather against Netanyahu (AP) Thousands of Israelis demonstrated outside the official residence of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Saturday night, resuming the weekly protest against the Israeli leader after emergency restrictions imposed as part of a coronavirus lockdown were lifted. The protesters gathered in central Jerusalem and marched to Netanyahu’s official residence, holding banners calling on him to go and shouting “Revolution!” Many blew horns and pounded on drums, while others hoisted Israeli flags. Scores of smaller demonstrations were held across the country, and organizers claimed some 260,000 people participated nationwide. The protesters say Netanyahu must resign, calling him unfit to lead the country while he is on trial for corruption charges. They also say he has mishandled the virus crisis, which has sent unemployment soaring. Netanyahu is on trial for fraud, breach of trust and accepting bribes for his role in a series of scandals. He has denied the charges and said he is the victim of a conspiracy by overzealous police and prosecutors and a liberal media.

Uganda’s ‘taxi divas’ rise from COVID-19’s economic gloom (AP) Uganda’s new all-female ride-hailing service is called Diva Taxi. The taxi service, dreamed up by a local woman who lost her logistics job at the start of the coronavirus outbreak, was launched in June and has recruited over 70 drivers. They range from college students to mothers hoping to make good use of their secondhand Toyotas. “It started off as a joke, supported by close friends and family, but eventually the idea picked up,” said company spokeswoman Rebecca Makyeli. “They said, ‘Why not? As ladies, you know we can no longer slay on Instagram on the outside, so why don’t we slay as divas with a cause.’ So we called it Diva Taxi.” It’s uncommon to find women taxi drivers in Uganda, a socially conservative East African country where most women labor on farms or pursue work in the informal sector. Diva Taxi believes countless women are looking for job opportunities at a time of severe economic distress. The Diva Taxi app has been downloaded at least 500 times, and each of the company’s 72 drivers makes an average of 30 rides each week. The company expects to have 2,000 active users by the end of this year, a modest target in a city of over 3 million people where taxis and passenger motorcycles are the main means of transport for the working class. “We love what we are doing and it’s really fun,” said founder Kobusingye, an occasional driver herself. “I can’t wait to partner with every woman out there that’s willing to be part of Diva Taxi.”

Nigerian army plans nationwide exercise as protests rock country (Reuters) The Nigerian army will begin a two-month national exercise, it said on Saturday, while denying the move was part of any security response to recent widespread demonstrations against alleged police brutality. Operation Crocodile Smile would run across the country from Oct. 20 to Dec. 31, the first time the annual exercise, typically concentrated in the Delta region, will be nationwide, army spokesman Sagir Musa said. The move comes just days after the army said it was ready to step in and restore order, but Musa said in a statement that the exercise “has no relationship with any lawful protest under any guise whatsoever”. Nigerians demanding an end to the Special Anti-Robbery Squad (SARS) police unit and pressing for reforms and accountability have been rallying across the country. The army had on Wednesday issued a statement warning what it termed “subversive elements and trouble makers” that it was “ready to fully support the civil authority in whatever capacity to maintain law and order and deal with any situation decisively”.

[straykidsramblings]

how stray kids say “i love you”.

[based on “one hundred ways to say i love you”; gifs belong to their owners!]

nb: I have a “little” writing project in the works and I’m hoping to make good progress on that soon, so, for now, please accept these headcanons.

Bang Chan: “It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

I feel like we could see this coming from a mile away tbh

But seriously, Chan is usually producing or working on something, but he constantly reminds you that he’s always available to you if you ever want to talk or, if he can, meet up. gosh, whatta workaholic.

He knows he’s really busy so he wants to be there for you as much as he can even if it’s only over the phone, especially because you’re always there for him and supporting him.

Even if it’s when he’s sleeping, he won’t mind you calling him. He’ll pick up the phone and talk as long as you want. He will never make you feel like a burden, and he never wants you to feel troubled bc he a busy bee.

Woojin: “You didn’t have to ask.”

Ngl, this one was weirdly more difficult to choose but I ended up with this one largely for two reasons.

One: Woojin is really observant about things to the point where you two can communicate without words.

Two: Woojin also has a really good memory so he remembers your habits when you’re about to do something or want something, and he remembers what you like in general.

He’s more than willing to do whatever you want or get whatever you want, but please pay with chicken kisses. 

Minho: “Can I kiss you?” [+ “I love you.”]

Lee Minho is a shy and awkward babyboy who has trouble speaking in front of crowds and making friends; in this essay i will--

seriously, though, this little bias wrecker probably has trouble expressing exactly how he feels sometimes so he ends up either showing it through his actions or being super direct.

He knows he loves you and he either tells you that directly or in his kiss, but he always asks before he goes to kiss you. It’s out of respect for your privacy and consent, but sometimes he wishes he could surprise you with a kiss. Just out the blue.

It’s the worst when you’re concentrating on something, and he’s just kinda staring at you with this adoring look until you finally look up and there’s just this pause before “...can I kiss you?” *cue me, screaming*

Changbin: “I’ll walk you home.”

um i’m kinda soft for tough!changbin but I also know he’s babyboy pt.2

anyway, when he’s not being super soft and cute, he actually is a pretty protective boyfriend, and it’s partially due to the fact that he has a sister, loves his momma, and his dad taught him to protect them.

If he can, he will always take or walk you home, especially if you live in the city. Even if he knows you don’t really need it whether that’s because it’s only a block away or because you are fully capable of taking care of yourself, he walks you to your door to make sure you get in safe.

Also loves the little thank you kiss (read as: kisses) he gets, ngl

Hyunjin: “I brought you an umbrella.”

mayhaps i partially chose this because of this exact segment on weekly idol BUT that’s also just who Hyunjin is; tbh i wanted the other gif of him with the umbrella with his little eye smile but i couldn’t find it

he’s 100% willing and wanting to go out of his way if it makes a part of your life a little bit easier, so it’s more like the umbrella thing is more of an example of what he does to show he loves you. 

he does the same with bringing you lunch or coffee or really just anything that you may need in your day and he (usually) shows up with perfect timing, it’s kinda creepy sometimes but he has good intentions

but it also just shows that he’s thinking about you constantly and he wants to help make your life easier.

Jisung: “I want you to be happy.”

i usually avoid gifs with words on it but this one kinda actually works?

okay, we all know that our little goofball is always making people laugh and wanting them to enjoy themselves especially when they’re not exactly having a great day, but it goes beyond that

Jisung knows what it’s like to really be struggling with something, so he wants to be able to help you anyway he can. He doesn’t joke around when it comes to something serious, and he proves that to you.

There are multiple ways to make people happy, and Jisung wants to make you happy any way that he can whether that is just making you laugh or having deep conversations at 3 a.m.

Felix: “That’s okay, I bought two.”

yes. you would be correct. This is largely because of what he puilled on Hyunjin at the airport and Hyunjin was like “it was so cool, like a drama!” but there wasn’t one that expressed exactly what I wanted

to explain, Felix loves being your first for things. It’s his cute way of being involved in your life and making important memories with you that you’ll remember for a long time.

so, if he finds out that you’ve never gotten something, he’ll try to be all suave and cool about it and get it for you without you noticing until BAM he pulls out this line like a tsundere male lead in a romcom kdrama

it’s the same thing with places. you’ve never been to a certain restaurant? he makes a reservation. you’ve never ridden on a train? he buys tickets.

Seungmin: “I was just thinking about you.” 

Seungmin is a man of few words because I feel like he’s just a thinking type, but he’s soft and cute to you

this’ll be his way of saying i love you after he first realizes he does. you’ll be meeting up for a date or something and he’ll see you in the distance looking all pretty and cute and he’ll just think “wow i am in love”

but he pretends like he didn’t notice you a while ago and you’ll finally find him in the cafe y’all were meeting at all out a breath because you ran to get there and he thinks you’re so cute so he just says that

he keeps saying that instead of “i love you”, even if you two are just cuddling on the couch and you ask what he’s thinking about cause he’s so quiet, until you finally realize and respond “I love you too”

side note: wow Princess Bride feels and I didn’t even think about it

Jeongin: “It’s not heavy. I’m stronger than I look.”

ah, yes. the maknae. I feel like he’s more baby to me than others because he’s younger than me, so I might a bit biased about his?

anyway, Jeongin recognizes that he’s babied by the other members and other people, and while he appreciates it, he also feels like he needs to prove himself a lot because of that.

so one way that he ends up doing that is by treating you like royalty tbh. his baby is not going to lift a box or open any doors (except the fridge door. he tried one day and you insisted that no, he would not)

He knows that you can take care of yourself, but he just wants to prove that he can be helpful to people too instead of relying on others all of that time. It can be a little tiresome, but it’s kinda sweet and he means well. 

[dhill202-blog]

10 Tips for a Better Travel Experience

Hitting the street once will change your life forever. Fact. You will become more flexible and thinking on your feet will become second nature. Confidence and self belief will blossom as you overcome the trials and tribulations engendered by life on the street, and you'll evolve. Interaction with other people, from all walks of life, will become a daily event. The people you meet and the situations you encounter, both good and bad, will gradually start to define you. Some days may be magic, others could be tough - but every day will leave its mark, and the cumulative impact is life altering.

Whether you travel for a month, a year, or ten years, you'll have an experience unlike any other. But pause for a moment and ask yourself: - is it better?

Here are ten ways to improve your travel experience.

Go Slow - You have quit your job or got time off work, flown half way round the world, and are now desperately excited to see firsthand all you have read and dreamed of. However, by racing though too many nations in a given time you may lose out on much more. Not only will you learn less about the places you've longed to see, but you'll tire quickly and become travel weary. A couple of nights in each place also spells out buses, boats or trains at least ever other day, and packing/unpacking will become a daily event. Tiring? I should coco.

With more time spent in fewer areas you will start to live in your new environment. The extra time in every place may encourage you to explore under your own steam instead of being shackled to a guidebook and its top ten tick off list. Worries about wasting time won't be a problem, leaving you free to go drifting and raising the chances uncovering a lesser known delight.

Have Faith - Be a bit more trusting. Everyone isn't out to steal your money, or cheat you. Traveling with this unhealthy mindset will cause someone to become detached, cynical, bitter, and a very bad ambassador for their country. Do not be dismissive or rude when approached - after all, it is wonderful to be nice.

Ok, sometimes an unsavory cookie can cross your path, but this can be taken care of upon consciousness; but, overall, those who approach you may fall into other categories: people like you and I wanting to earn a living (and assisting you with a service in the procedure ), and the ones which are either interested or favorable (or usually both!) Thus, let the guard down a bit and listen to people out. Judge situations on their unique merits and occasionally be a Yes Man, you can't know where it might lead.

Get Involved - Keep a look out for opportunities where you can make a difference. We learn so much from people we meet and places we see, but all too often its one way traffic. Get prepared to help others and attempt whenever possible to give back something. Perform to your skills and expertise, you might have something valuable to offer. 

Learn the Lingo - Even just the basics will lay the foundation for a better experience. 'Pleases' and'thank you's go a very long way, and, even if they're not delivered properly or understood, they show that you're willing to make the hard work and communicate a respect toward the people you meet. If nothing else it will raise a smile or two, and that is always a bonus. Furthermore, in the event you still need encouragement to acquire a phrase book, some of the local lingo can get you a better price for transportation, accommodation, and the little knick-knacks you can't pass up.

We attempt to taste all the regional delicacies, so why not sample all of the regional modes of transport, also? Ok, the railroad system might be the preferable method of travel for any particular state, but find out for yourself . Moreover, even if the bus station is in walking distance from the accommodation, throw financial caution to the end at least one time by splashing out 50 cents for For the ones which are still worried about value for money, I say sit at the front bucket of a Vietnamese Cyclo and get taken across a busy Saigon intersection - for the purchase price of one beer you'll have a vision etched in your mind for all eternity. Then, for the hardcore thrill seekers amongst you, invite your Cyclo Jockey to sit at the chair of death as you peddle him across the intersection...

Adopt the Weird and Wonderful - Do not miss a chance to try something a little out of the ordinary, be it fresh food, local traditions, children's games, or anything else of barbarous tobacco from Javanese street sellers. Get in the swing of it and make somebody's day.

Stay Alert - Little can ruin a trip and taint your view of a nation and its populous more than being careless with your possessions and learning the hard way. Opportunist theft is a simple fact of life, but you can reduce the danger by staying aware of your surroundings and possessions rather than playing to the minority's control.

Be a 1 Bag Wonder - Travel light, travel joyful. Decrease your possessions and life will become so much easier. Firstly, it makes the mechanics of getting from A to B simpler and less stressful. Easier because it is less fat to be humping around involving transportation and accommodation and less size and weight to be swinging around inside the limits of a densely populated bus. It becomes less stressful since the smaller your bag is, the less probable it is you will be separated from it during journeys- and, judging everyone by my pitifully. Additionally, it is more likely you'll be allowed on an already packed bus out for those who have less luggage. This doesn't ring true in Guatemala however, because you can always fit one more person on the bus, however full it is.

Walk the Path Less Trodden - Now that you've got extra time on your hands in each destination, why not explore a bit? Getting off the beaten path doesn't have to mean single handedly paddling a handmade dugout canoe 500 miles through the Amazonian Basin, it might be something as straightforward as forsaking the guidebook recommends for the day and rather scrounging a map or fliers and opting for an aimless wander in a new town. Some of my greatest discoveries have resulted from doing just this.

Terrific sources of info include Tourist Information Offices (though, where available, they vary tremendously in quality), What's On guides, local papers, handouts, fliers, and, of course, fellow travelers, to mention but a few. Spending less time at the well known and'popular' hangouts will also do your budget a huge favor, too.

Keep a Journal - Writing reams of pulp is not for everybody, but it does not have to be like that. A journal can mean many different things to different individuals. It could be a complete scale daily diary or only a kid's notebook from the marketplace where you place labels from local beer bottles (maybe with drunken scribbling below) - the option is yours. For the geeks among us (me included) there is the choice to travel site, and for the idle geeks among us (again, me included) it is even easier to cut and paste excerpts from emails home to family and friends and keep those as your diary.

Whatever form your personal creation may take, the final result is identical. 

Freelance travel writer and fanatical backpacker Nathan Richards desires nothing more than to inspire and encourage other people to satisfy their wanderlust.

Eclectic and Exquisite Gay Travel Experience

Your work has been preventing you from seeing new terrific things out of your comfort zone. You've been working so hard that you tend to forget there are more to life than your job. Why don't you take some of your time to pull yourself from a thousand paper functions and maintain an adventure you'd treasure in a life? Why not put aside little by little some money for a holiday that will teach you exactly what your job can never endow you with? Why not book yourself for a gay vacation and encounter what's meant by life?

Gay travels have been the cure for tired and weary spirits that wander from the corners of shallow fantasies. These journeys with your fellow beings will certainly open an opportunity for you to look into yourself and find greater things concerning you. Through these exquisite homosexual holidays, you'll be privileged to belong to a community of loving and accepting individuals composed of men, women, lesbians and gay. Not just you'll be communing with nature, you will basically be joining with yourself that you've missed during your hours and hours of tedious work.

Dwelling on some diverse gay travels will bring you into a world of discovery. Some packages will provide you with the opportunity to be showing the presents inside you and using these presents for the benefit of the planet as a whole. What use it is to be true to yourself and the world is instructing you in every manner of not to be ashamed of who you are.

Other offers for homosexual travels include an enlightening about your erotic potentials. Through some enticing team activities, you'll have the ability to spot your sensual facets and nurture them for sexy travel experience. This sort of involvement work your way to your ultimate sexual liberty and unblock sexual inhibitions and doubts. By means of breath, body and hand motion and the soothing magic of audio you will eventually get a real feel of sexual satisfaction. These gay travel experiences on sexual accomplishment and realization are lively and enjoyable to your erotic improvement.

Take more than an isolated island off a exceptional shore or indulge in sensual play activities as you travel your way to revival and rejuvenation of the self. Gay travel experiences are specially made for couples abound who'd want to spend romantic evenings in their communion with love, peace, serenity and dedication. Gay vacations help you explore the hidden and breathtaking views of nature as well as yourself.

At each end of fulfilling gay vacations is a brand new you.... virtually more intelligent emotionally and mentally. The revival of your missing self drained through hard work is invaluable benefit from a journey with your loved one. A week-long time out in the complications of life is a unique opportunity for you to renew your vow for the betterment of yourself and for s more powerful relationship with your spouse. So what are you waiting for? Get booked and travel your way to transformation!

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 125

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes, a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be the blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king.

Every great saga has a beginning, and this one starts with a simple boar.   

Did our porcine friend realize what his actions would bring forth on this day?    Did he know that the Driver’s Ed episode of Dragon Ball Z would be born from his decision to chase after a woman walking home from the Mt. Paozu IGA?    Maybe, but I’m more inclined to think that he just wanted some of the potato wedges Chi-Chi picked up from the deli. 

Meanwhile, Goku’s training for the androids.   Well, not at this exact second.    Right now, he’s watching clouds sexually harass other clouds.   Cloud Master Roshi belongs in Cloud Jail.

As Chi-Chi hoofs it back home after narrowly escaping the boar, she sees the couple from the other mountain driving home in their car.   

When Chi-Chi gets home she’s greeted by her husband and son, who toss their filthy training gear in front of her and head for the tub.  

And that tears it.   She bawls out Goku for not driving her to the store like other husbands, and when he says he doesn’t have a license she tells him to go get one.  Oh, and he can take Piccolo with him, since his useless green ass doesn’t have one either, smh.  

Oh, and if they fail, she won’t cook for them.     I’m not sure why that should matter to Piccolo, since he only drinks water, but maybe Chi-Chi makes some really tasty water.   

So the next day the boys go to the “institute” to take driver’s ed.   Piccolo doesn’t know how he got roped into this, but he doesn’t seem too interested in backing out, either.  

What makes this episode a classic is that they’re both wearng civlian clothing for this aventure.   Goku is dresed in what I like to call “Stealth Fred Flintstone Cosplay.”     Piccolo, of course, is dressed  in blue jeans and two shirts.  One is purple with long sleeves, and one is yellow with the words “POST BOY” written on them.   

In the dub, Goku asks him where he got such a ridiculous outfit, and Piccolo replies “Your wife got them for me... out of your closet.”   That’s not in the Japanese version.     Really, it doesn’t make a lot of sense for Goku to own this outfit, since Piccolo’s at least 18 inches taller than him.    Then again, Piccolo has Clothes Beam powers, which could also be used to alter clothing to fit other sizes.  

Besides, we know he got the hat from Goku, since it has the word “GOKUU” written on it.  I think it’s safe to assume that the POST BOY outfit is definitely something Goku owns.

Here come the instructors.   They have Capsule Corp. logos on their coats, so I assume this means this whole institute is run by Capsule Corp.   

Somewhere in this episode, the old guy says he’s been teaching driver’s ed for 70 years, which puts him somewhere over 90.   Personally, I headcanon him as gettng into the driver’s ed game much later in life.   His wife divorced him at 53, and he struggled to find new purpose after that, until he got a taste of the driving school life, and he knew he would never be the same.    Oh, he tried to get out of this world.   But it kept calling him back like a siren song.    The fame, the money, the women.    He just couldn’t stay away.   And by 55, he became a full-time instructor.   Now he’s 125 years old.

I don’t know anything about this lady, except that I’m pretty sure she wants to fuck Piccolo in the backseat of a car while it speeds along a highway at 100 miles per hour.    I guess Piccolo could use the Multi-Form technique to steer while he does his business in the back, but she doesn’t know that.   

Piccolo-- excuse me... I mean Post Boy, has some dificulty with the seat belt. 

Did you think I was kidding about this lady?    Because I’m not.  Back seat.  100 miles per hour.    No one at the wheel.  

Unfortunately, this car doesn’t have a back seat, so she just floors it and drives really, really aggressively.   

EVEN POST BOY IS AFRAID

Meanwhile, the old man can’t even get the door open.     I like how the hair on his head turns red, but his mustache and eyebrows don’t.    

Goku starts dissociating in the parking lot.   

Meanwhile, the Brief family is still amazed by Vegeta’s insane training regimen.   I feel like these scenes are really trying to pressure Bulma into getting it on with the guy.    “Boy, those Saiyans sure do have tough bodies, eh, Bulma?    Such wonderfully tough bodies.   Oh, and he’s living in the spaceship now.    That’s how dedicated he is.    You know, that spaceship would be a great place to have sex in, just throwing that out there.    You could scream as loud as you wanted and your parents would never be able to hear it.”

Anyway, here’s Vegeta doing some pointless bullshit that isn’t driver’s ed.  Let’s move on. 

  I guess Gohan’s studying while the boys are learning to drive.    Of course, he can’t concentrate knowing that Piccolo’s running around in the Post Boy outfit.    Check out this sweet fan art Gohan drew for this episode.  

Then Icarus shows up and Gohan decides to sneak out of the house to watch his dad and Piccolo driving.    I thought Episode 118 was Icarus’ last appearance, but I guess not.    Pretty sure this is it, though.    

See, I told you this guy has been in the business for 70 years.     What’s got him flustered is that Goku can’t seem to remember anything he tells him.    I mean things like “Push the pedals to make it go,” and “Welcome to driving school.”

What’s with this guy’s neck?

I think he was trying to get Goku to back into a parking place, but he ended up zooming forward instead.   

Then they end up on the highway, and inside a tunnel going down the wrong lane.   Now, in the dub, the guy tells Goku to “give him the wheel” I think.  So Goku chops it off so he can give it to him.    In the original script, he keeps saying “Cut in the steering handle”, which seems like an odd choice of words.   

The end result is the same: Goku’s car flies out of control and lands in a body of water.    The instructor tells him it’ll take him three years to pass the course, and Goku protests that he can’t wait that long, on account of the androids.

Later on, Goku seems to have gotten the hand of shifting the gear, but he still doesn’t grasp going slowly.    Post Boy sees him zip past and thinks it’s a race.

Nearby, Gohan and Icarus show up in time to see this unfold.  

The lady seems genuinely impressed by Post Boy’s off-road driving stunts.   The tragic thing about this story is that Post Boy seems to have mastered this skill, but he never gets credit for it in the form of a license.

Anyway, one thing leads to another and now Goku and Post Boy are wanted for manslaughter.    Just kidding, the instructors are fine. 

Later, they have to drive around on public roads, and if they screw around again, they’ll get expelled.   

To their credit, both of them seem to be doing a lot better this time.

Goku waves at a bus full of school kids, but the old man deducts a point for taking his hand off the wheel.   When Goku protests, he takes another point off for taking his eyes off the road.  

Then Goku slams on the brakes, causing Piccolo to rear-end him.    Everyone’s confused, but the reason he did it is because...

The bus ahead of him got caught in... uh, an avalanche?    Of water?  

It’s going to fall off the road and over a cliff, is the point.   

Goku flies through the windshield of his car to help...

... while Post Boy elbows the door off of his car.    With authority!

They catch the bus,then Goku heads over to shoot falling debris so it won’t hit anything.

Post Boy helps too.   So, a second ago, both of them needed to hold the bus, and now Post Boy is holding it one-handed.    Why did Goku even leave the bus if Post Boy could hold it and shoot up at the same time?    This episode proves that power levels are bullshit.   

The instructors are astonished.  

Goku waves goodbye to the kids while Post Boy stands with his back turned, all stoic-like.   A watchful protector.   A silent guardian.   A Post Boy.  

Goku apologizes for the disturbance, but the instructors are all smiles.   Goku asks if they can resume their practice, but the old man refuses.   

As he puts it, Goku and Post Boy are such skilled men that there’s no point in them learning from a driving school.    They hardly need licenses when they can fly, right?   

Now, in the dub, they kind of take a different approach with the punchline.  The instructor praises their rescue of the bus, and their amazing powers, but he makes it clear that these two knuckleheads have no business behind the wheel of a car, so they’ll never get their licenses, ever.    But so what, right?  They can fly, so what difference does it make?

Either way.... I bet Chi-Chi won’t like this...

Yeah, I called it.  

Why is Icarus in the house? 

Sometimes, you have to have your heroes lose.    It builds character, and it makes them feel more like people.    It also makes it even more inspirational when they triumph.    That is the lesson of this episode.    Yes, Post Boy failed today, but he’s not going to dwell on his failures.   He’s going to pick himself back up and keep living his life.    

Anyway, Chi-Chi passes out from the shock of it.    No, seriously, why is Icarus allowed in the house but Post Boy isn’t?  

Anyway, from here, we flash forward three years and.... holy crap, I never noticed before, but they have a car in this shot!    A few dozen episodes after this, we’ll see Goku driving, and Chi-Chi explaining how he got his license, but I never noticed that this very episode made it clear that Goku went back and tried again.   That’s awesome.   

It’s the morning of May 12, and it’s time for the fateful Android invasion.   Chi-Chi offers the boys a box lunch for the day, but Goku declines.  

No, Goku’s taking an early lunch today, around 10am.    His meal: a couple of no-good androids.    Big, marshmallow-y androids.   

This is it.   The waiting is over, the future is now.   The Z-Fighters will either change history or they will become history.    Z stands for the end, but not yet.  

[adrianfavell]

The View from Global Britain (a small Island off the North West of Europe, sailing North-by-North-West towards an unknown destination)

Later, when he reviewed the strange sequence of events that led to the breakdown of order and the reversion of the high rise residence to a state of near primitive excess and violence, Dr Gove concluded that it might all be traced back to that one day...

A sickly, swollen orange early morning sun squinted pallidly through the chemical haze over the East End of London’s Docklands. Gove reached over casually from his balcony chair to pick up one of the three books lying on his coffee table. It was a warm day already at 8am outside on the apartment balcony:  he had not bothered to change out of his boxer shorts and T-shirt. A well thumbed classic Penguin edition of George Orwell’s Collected Essays and Journalism Volume 4, lay on one side of the reclining beach style chair, that was his usual morning professional treat before the driver arrived. It was marked with pink post it slips on the pages of the essay ‘The Lion and the Unicorn’. Underneath, was a glossy, less well read edition of translated selections from Michel Foucault’s 1970 College de France Lectures on Governmentality. But the book he perused over the top of his red designer Ace & Tate glasses – which he had bought on the last trip to Amsterdam – was a cherished copy of Roger Scruton’s The Philosopher on Dover Beach. An opera lover, the strains of one of Wagner’s Rings could be heard from his Danish Bang & Olufsen state-of-the-art stereo system inside. Funnily enough, he had seen it live together with his friend, rival and now boss, Johnson, and their now ex-wives in Germany, only a few weeks before D-Day, all that time ago. He congratulated himself once again on the purchase of the Segafredo coffee maker, as he drained the content of his third nespresso of the morning, pausing only slightly to feel the slight twinge of pain that followed in his chest. If only he were George Clooney, he thought, wryly.

Such was the cool clarity of his thoughts, that he barely stirred as a scream was heard from the Branson Mansion above him on the 255th floor of the monstrous tower block he lived in. This state of the art tower occupied mainly by high ranking government officials such as himself, or top end CEOs such as Branson, was one of two similar twin towers – “The Rock” across from “The Edge” – that commanded the entire festering zone wasteland of the former Docklands, north of Greenwich. The high rises were impregnable silver fortresses, self contained with sporting facilities, state of the art cinematic entertainment, and a high end shopping mall, that also functioned seamlessly as child care and schooling facilities for families, and contained all other essential services. The building was equipped with two helicopter landing pads that usually were high enough to clear the low lying cloud of pollution which mostly separated the social classes. Below the towers, under ground level society, was an interconnected underground elite parking facility, that led directly out on to the national freeway grid. His quizzical blue eyes lifted up momentarily from the pages of the philosopher Scruton elucidating a point about Edmund Burke, as a large dead dog thrown from above, flew past the balcony and down, a further half kilometer or so, before crashing through the roof of one of the dozen White “Go Home Immigrants” hostility vans parked there. There was a small commotion among a group of female cleaning service workers arriving for work, apparently Polish, from the distant sound of their foreign voices in the silent city morning. There were still irregularities in the population, he surmised.

He shifted his body with discomfort, however, when he noticed that one or two drops of a rabid red froth from the half decapitated dog had landed on the page of Scruton’s text. He lay the book aside to make a note on a pad that Branson would have to be asked to leave the country.

Gove had been around as a shadowy governmental advisor in the Santiago and Buenos Aires of the 1970s; you sometimes knew when it was a time for a change. These were places he had learned his trade. He recognised though that for all its rationality, violently capturing, torturing and then dumping by helicopter these “nowhere” types in the Thames Estuary was no longer a viable option in the England of the Twenty First Century. Yes, they were a fifth column. These cosmopolitan, nomadic, “transnational” intellectuals and their rich compatriots, who shared a hypocritical nostalgia for the free moving global planet of their youth; a few were still EU sympathisers and internationalist terrorists. Still, he smiled wryly, there was no going back to the River Plate during the heady days of the 1978 World Cup. Even for a criminal like Branson, it was not a practical option. Well, he’d made damn sure that his superior Mrs Thatcher wash her hands of any responsibility for anything her old friend, General Pinochet, had done. And it was true that after, his comrade General Galtieri had returned the favour to the dear Iron Lady, who had been in a tough spot herself in 1981. What they devised was the courtesy of a staged, “low level” invasion of the Falklands Island, that had proven a pioneer of a new brand of simulacra wars (“good for politics, good for business”, a military showcase “win-win-win” all round) that independent islands could engage in to maintain autarkic economic dynamism and electoral support in an now entirely protectionist world. Those were the stuff of international relations today, but always dangerous of course given the hardware, sometimes even nuclear, involved. Protest was usually muted among any remaining “Remain” activists or (so-called) “global” protestors. There were still plenty of academic sanctuaries abroad for renegade university academics, and Branson would be easily “persuaded” – with the right threat –  to take a one way ticket to New York or Los Angeles; places where enclaves of humanitarian CEOs still grumbled together in secret societies about the policies of supreme leader Donald Trump.

He wondered about the scream, though, and idly flicked on the telescreen that was partly masked behind a reproduction of a Kandinsky print on the dining room wall. The Party spokesman was celebrating loudly another victory for the People, that had been delivered that morning, like clockwork, with monotonous weekly regularity. The magic numbers: 52% for Leave, 48% for Remain; a weekly plebiscite delivered electronically by a large, government owned public opinion survey company, Big Big DATA Inc. The weekly vote stabilised the ongoing national need to adjust the population – for example, by removing persons of certain foreign extraction – to deliver the correct mathematical proportion that had been adjusted to represent the exact optimal mix for a definitively binding democratic result (the formula went): “democratic outcomes in divided societies which had decided to resolve their differences by a simple direct Yes/No method”. It was also one reason why they could not go on more strongly with the policy his previous boss Mrs May had devised. The “Go Home” Immigration vans and deportation squads (the “weekly hostility” she called it), particularly targeted at the heavily Europeanised university academic population. Too many deportations and the Remain vote (“Remoaners”, he chuckled) might be too quickly depleted.

The screen changed to an image of a man in a red tie, the officially employed Opposition Leader that Gove himself had hired in one of his occasional, but nonetheless regular, strokes of genius. The annoying man on screen swiftly changed the topic as always to a passionate denunciation of the poverty conditions of white working class voters. What a national shame it was, he said, they had been forced to live now for several decades of austerity gentrification and slum clearance, that had left nothing much of most major cities in the kingdom except mile upon mile of concrete wreckage underneath the sporadic, tree like growth of these huge, shiny residential blocks. Most of these had been built by shady Shanghai and Istanbul owned corporations that had been offered bi-lateral franchise access to the Island, in spite of other barriers to World Trade.

He went back to his laptop writing, a new proposal for entirely consolidating a nationalisation of the national game, which he had loosely imagined as an evolution of the Eton Wall Game. An architect of the national curriculum that had expurgated any traces of “global citizenship” from the education of Engand’s youth, Gove’s influence over the last years had extended to all areas of national culture where some sort of withdrawal from the previously established global or international practices needed to be conceived. Sport was his new brief. The idea had first come to him while watching the World Cup of Summer 2018: the brilliant combination of young British Black and White talent – Ali, Lingard and Kane – that had combined to score goal after goal against foreign allcomers – Japan, Columbia, Sweden – before unfairly succumbing to evil European refereeing against Croatia in the semifinal. As all the newspapers had said, in that hot and heady summer after the first Brexit vote, all future troubles were forgotten as England had united, and seemed to throw away all bitterness and caution in celebration, drinking, cheering, loving and kissing; the white St.George red cross fluttered everywhere over a happy and unified multi-racial land.

Indeed, as economists made clear, the date of January 31st 2020 was the demographic turning point. D-Day, it was called now, a national holiday; Independence Day, being the other major national festival on 23rd June. D-Day, Gove had argued, was the date at which Britain’s international and foreign population was at its optimal peak of absorption into a wholly national economy. The doors could be clanged shut on freedom of movement, but also on trade and industry, since Gove and his colleagues had devised a failsafe scheme to enable Britain to slowly transform all of its internationalised practices into distinct, diverse, incompatible alternatives, that would by their difference and originality, be highly innovative, rich in IP, and world beating. They would however have no compatibility with the outside; of little moment, given the huge backwater of an empire the Island still could call upon. This left a problem of course, for Britain’s national sport and greatest global export, football. This had necessitated Gove’s creative intervention, adapting the Eton Wall Game. He chuckled again at the thought of his heroes Ali, Lingard and Kane, mucking in with the boys, down in the scrum next to the wall, just as Gove, Johnson, Cameron, Goodhart and their idol Orwell had all done as youngsters.

This was still a white paper, for now, and the nation had continued to rely on bi- and multi-lateral agreements and some irregularities to allow the open labour market for the Championship League. It was true: it had more Italian and Portuguese football managers, and more star African players than ever. And yes, it was an exception to the nation’s stringent anti–immigration, zero foreigner policy. A mere “anomaly” , he had called it on Question Time.

What economists and demographers had also discovered though in 2016 was fateful. A now legendary paper by a demographer called Coleman, its framed original folio at the entrance to the British Museum, had shown that if population trends continued – with freedom of movement and immigration – the original White British population would become a minority by 2070, amidst mixed marriages, higher immigrant child birth rates, and (far) too many “people of colour” among foreign-origin migrants. Gove was analytic enough to recognise these populations had been sources of the extraordinary boom years of the 1990s and 2000s, but had been the one thinker with the foresight to see that the door had to be shut in June 2016, if Britain was ever to integrate all these human resoruces and become an independent island again. The People was called upon, and dutifully delivered its 52%. The answer was naturalising, rigorously, everyone on the Island at that moment in time – whether they wanted it or not. That was the key although it would be havoc for the weekly referendum that he knew was needed to maintain the 52% plebiscite of democracy over the Remain vote – hence the further statistical tricks and legal exclusion – and “disappearances” out to sea, if necessary.

They were well on the way to creating a new British population, however, which was remarkable for its multi-racial “super-diversity” (it was called) and yet could maintain stably what another economist, Collier, had calculated as England’s uniquely 80% English DNA national origins, traced back to the Magna Carta. Freedom and Rationality could grow again on this soil.

It was of course on that day, 31st January 2020, that England unveiled its secret plan to escape from Europe, at the cliffs of Dover: making use of the decaying tunnels abandoned by Eurostar and roll-on-roll-off transportation companies, the government had motorised the white cliffs, using a clever combination of nuclear and wind power, that in fact would enable a significant geological shift to begin to move the Island (henceforth capitalised) in a North-by-North-Westerly direction towards the Atlantic. The colony of Ireland would be merged again, as it collided with the British Isles, and a Scotland somewhat reduced -- natural shrinkage caused by damage to its exterior north west coastline buffered by the rough merging and the seas as the Island moved implacably in the direction of Greenland. The South East of England became the only temperate part of the Island as it moved out to sea, further driving up housing prices.

And so on that day, the TVs were all re-set to Telescreens and Party news only, and the new People’s Democracy began. Gove’s slightly lazy left eye almost welled with a gin soaked tear, as he recalled the first judder and grinding geological movement of the Island at the Dover coast. On the cliffs, all the major national dignitaries and leaders had gone to celebrate the occasion. Yes, the Island was moving in the sea, and it had been followed by the slow, at first imperceptible descending of a mist, then an ever thicker fog, which cut off all visible trace of the receding continent across the water. As had been planned, telecommunications and internet networks were disrupted to come under strict territorial control again, and the Island had its independence back. News footage of Lady Diana’s funeral had been used as the first broadcast, to set the right tone. The people cheered wildly, underneath the white and red cross flags, across the nation – the true World Cup spirit back again – as it headed out, impregnable and forever undefeated, towards the icy waters of the North West Atlantic....

*****

It may only have been synchronicity, but at that very moment in a liberal arts college in Southern California, Dr Wong, a young Asian Amercian academic put down her laptop, and reached for a lemonade. The book on her table was a new edition of Gayatri Spivak’s collected essays. The palm trees over the boulevard swayed lightly as a sweet breeze blew in from the desert.

She finished the final sentence of the draft of of a paper for Global Text, which proposed the theoretical framework for the creation of a new interdisciplinary field of occidentalist area studies, “England Studies”. The topic had strangely never been tried before. She had made her name as a post-doc in cosmology, studying black holes (like Steven Hawking, she used to joke), but had switched briefly but brilliantly to zoology during the first five years of her teaching career, making a cutting contribution to contemporary Japanese cultural studies, writing about its remarkable population of otaku and cosplay database animals. However, publisher interest in this well known remote but inaccessible East Asian Galapagos fantasy island lost somewhere in the Pacific, had been waning for some time. Were there not other black holes to discover? One day at the gym a new idea came to her. Why not somewhere in Europe instead of Asia, as a next career move? – especially since the EU had become such a historical curiosity, since its demise. After all, nobody could now quite work out what on Earth anyone had been thinking when they dreamed ludicrously of “European Community” or – and this one really took the grand prix – “European Citizenship”!!. What hilarious and zany times those European post-war “trentes glorieuses” had been!

Yet, ten years on from Independence Day, it seemed that Britain (as it was sometimes still referred to, in academic circles) had moved far enough away from mainland Europe into the upper ocean streams of the Atlantic – somewhere between “Greenland” and “Iceland”, which already had fields devoted to them – to allow for a new field of Area Studies, however challenging the remote fieldwork there. An Island, no doubt with its own strange, unsustainable, close-to-extinct creatures, practices and ideas, like 3G phone technology before the iPhone.

This would surely get her tenure, or even an outside job offer on this year’s market, certainly good enough to allow a fresh negotiation with her Department Chair, she thought....

  ADRIAN FAVELL

Berlin, 9 Dec 2018, early AM

with apologies to J.G.Ballard (1930-2009)

[hawkeyebabe]

Unpopular Opinion: FMA Live Action Was Not Good

Now wait a minute! I know you’re upset. It seems that most people on this site + in this fandom rather liked it. And that’s great! I do want people to enjoy it.

But let me tell you why I didn’t. Spoilers ahead.

———————

I work in LA as a freelance film editor and I love love love movies more than I love almost anything else in the world. Not that that matters, but I’m just saying I pay rent by working in video! So I’m not COMPLETELY speaking out of my ass, I’m just speaking as both a film lover and a FMA lover.

Buckle up we’re goin’ in.

There were things I liked!

Dean Fujioka as Colonel Mustang

I thought he was one of the best things about this movie. First of all I could stare at his physical face for hours like yikes, I think I’m in love with someone I don’t even know. And he’s an incredible actor! His delivery, his facial expressions, everything was great. I loved him. He was perfectly cast as Mustang. And fuck he’s so hot. I’m sorry. I love him.

Ryôsuke Yamada as Edward

Also pretty talented! He had the impulsiveness and brashness of Ed in the series, and he managed to pull off the fight choreography and emotional demands of the character. Which brings me to...

(Most of) The Fight Choreography!

It was impressive and almost always realistic, there weren’t too many cheesy punches (which are a common fault in adaptations or lower budget fight movies), and everyone involved totally pulled it off. 

The Photography Value

There were several sequences where I was like, dayum, that was a cool camera move. Some scenes were paint by numbers, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s just average. But there were some scenes that were pretty cool! And they definitely put effort into making things like visually interesting, so to me, it shows that they did care about the film! It wasn’t just a cash grab. I respect that.

Roy’s Fight With Lust

It was awesome. The fire looked amazing, Lust looked amazing, Dean looked amazing (fucking always good god), and the music and the EVERYTHING, it was intense and it was great. Not perfect, not revolutionary, but great.

Alexander

Good fucking dog

The Costumes

There wasn’t one single outfit that I hated. They did a great job with that, a really great job. The military uniforms were spot on, they didn’t look cheaply made whatsoever, Lust’s dress was beautiful and seductive, Envy’s get-up was perfect (although he looked/acted mildly too goth), and YUP. It was good. I also liked how they showed Riza in her classic black high-necked shirt. Even though it didn’t make cohesive sense for her to have taken off her jacket in that scene but anyway.

Fucking ROYAIIIIII

At least it was THERE, like, it wasn’t nearly enough for my shipping heart, but it was there and it was subtle and I loved that. I actually didn’t want a Royai kiss (I know, execute me) because it wouldn’t have felt true to their story. The way they interact in the series is so subtle and drawn back, that throwing a kiss into this one movie (that doesn’t expand on a ton of things) would have felt cheap and rushed. I like what they did, at face value. The characters weren’t expanded on at all, but for what they DID give us, and the fact that they included hints of Royai at all, I really appreciated that. Roy and Riza commonly communicate through glances and not words, and they showed that when Riza finds him at the end of the battle, and she looks at his wound then up at him, and he nods to ease her. Not one word was exchanged. Yes, A+.

See? I’m not a total asshole. There were good things. But man, there were bad things too.

I wanna precede this with something; I understand why people like this movie. It’s content! We are practically dying at this point for more content. And it’s two hours of content!! We will eat. That. Shit. Up.

But it’s kind of like reading a mediocre fanfiction story, isn’t it? At least it is to me. Like I see the potential and my thirsty ass is parched for something, anything, so I will read this mediocre story. I will watch this mediocre movie.

But that doesn’t mean it couldn’t have been great.

First of all, they BOOKED it through the story. There were WAY too many plot points. YES, I know that it’s a hard challenge to condense a whole series into one movie, but you know how you fix that? Don’t do that.  

There is a right way to introduce characters, introduce a world, a story, the good guys and the bad guys, and three full acts. You don’t have to cram a whole series into one movie. Pick a few plot points, one of them being a major one (for the final act), and focus on those. Leave the end hanging open, wrap it up, but don’t wrap it ALL up. Then, interwoven within those plot points should be character development, and THAT’S what should drive the story. Not a thousand episodes compacted into two hours, but the characters, the very interesting, very unique, very original, very entrancing characters. And you know what?

They did not focus on the characters.

In fact, Al had like, ZERO screen time?! This wasn’t Ed and Al’s movie, this was Ed’s movie. And that is absolutely not true in the series. The two of them are equally important, equally layered. I understand there wasn’t a very large budget to appropriately include Al in every scene with Ed, but they could have figured something out. To just push him off to the side is just kind of insulting and it made me a little angry. 

Ask any Hollywood producer, director, screenwriter, whatever, “What makes a good story?” Every single one of them will tell you the same thing:

The characters.

It doesn’t matter that each and every character had a full arc and fleshiness in the series, that doesn’t mean that that automatically translates to the movie, because it doesn’t. In the movie, they introduce what began this whole adventure as if it were first being introduced, which means the same should apply to the characters.

If you show this film to a first-time viewer, fresh eyes who’ve never seen FMAB, and ask them, “What can you tell me about Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye?”

They’ll say,

Who is Riza Hawkeye?

Because I’m pretty certain they never say her fucking name.

And then you’ll explain it’s the Lieutenant to Mustang, and they’ll say, “Oh! Well he’s the Flame Alchemist, he’s hot (or at least they should say that), and the Lieutenant seems to be his assistant or military partner, and I think they love each other.”

But that’s it. That’s all they can tell you about these two main characters. That whole sentence is ALL the movie tells you about these two. That is not what I consider character development, that’s called sloppiness. Yes, we the fandom understand there’s more to them, but this movie is supposed to be standing on it’s own, it’s not supposed to use the series as a crutch. 

When Ed and Al are suffering after discovering what Tucker had done? And Mustang gives them some tough love? You know what could have been so simple, so easily done, and gone miles in terms of character relations?

Hawkeye giving Ed her damn coat. That would have taken five seconds to show, and it would have shown Hawkeye’s compassion, Ed as a child even though he’s seen hell, Mustang watching her and showing a glimpse into their dynamic, LIKE. LITTLE THINGS, little CHARACTER MOMENTS are SO important! And they just didn’t include things like that because they just weren’t thinking about it.

I could go into every single character and explain how none of them were done justice, but I’ll save your time. Just understand that not one character was fleshed out, Ed was the closest that came to that and he was still not done well.

UGH, real quick: You know why we were all devastated by Hughes’ death in FMAB? Because we loved him. He was likable, he was charming, he was a good man, and Hiromu Arakawa made that happen. A first time viewer probably didn’t feel anything when Hughes’ died in this movie because his little story was shoved down our throats and then he was killed. Maybe that could have been the final plot point, or at least the turning point in the second act, in another world. Give us much more time with a character we’re supposed to care about before killing him. They didn’t make his death emotional at all, whereas it’s one of the most heart breaking scenes in FMAB. This was one of those scenes that was paint by the numbers to me, there was nothing special about it. And I’m frustrated about that.

They barely even mentioned Ishval.

It was absolutely an integral, emotional, severe part of the series that made it so fucking beautiful. This series wasn’t just fun, or action-y, or heart-warming, it was political, and real, and harsh.

Two of our protagonists, Roy and Riza, are deeply flawed and deeply haunted. They are not perfect beings. They did terrible, terrible things. VILLAINOUS things. This movie does nothing for them. There is no emotional arc, there is no showing how they change from the beginning of the movie to the end, there is nothing! Characters are supposed to change, in every movie.  They are SUPPOSED to have flaw, and we the audience are supposed to see that.

How do they differ, what do they learn, what happens to them to sway their judgement? I’m sorry, but the characters in this movie are two dimensional. None of them are flawed, none of them have depth except maybe Ed because they explain how much he cares about Al what he did to save his life, but that’s it. 

This movie did not show one iota of the complexity of these characters, and I’m bitter about it. That’s all I’ll say because I could go on for awhile.

Laboratory Five.

What an intense, crazy part of FMAB. For me, that was when I officially was like oh, this show means fucking business. That’s when they really dive into what the philosopher’s stone is, and it’s when basically every character is shown hell, it’s when so much happens, and it’s the catalyst to what eventually becomes The Promised Day. 

I could barely even tell that they were in the lab in this movie. They stripped every character of that event from them, and it sucks because it was literally written for the producers of this movie right there in the series how to pull this off correctly, and they didn’t! There was incredible potential for our live-action characters, potential for Roy to be almost killed by Lust (away from everyone else), for Riza to think he’s dead and for her to break her stoicism, Al to be shredded by Lust but still trying to protect Riza, like that scene alone was integral, integral, to the telling of those three (four including Lust, her complexity of almost wishing to experience humanity) characters and they didn’t even show it. I’m mad. 

Gluttony

I’ll say one thing: when he’s told to eat all those soldiers and he opens up the artificial gate of truth in his belly and he runs at them. Like that shit had me weak. 

I’m gonna say another thing, sorry, I’m a liar, I’m just fired up. 

Don’t have the budget to make something terrifying look terrifying? Do. Not. Show. It.

Jaws is a perfect example of this. They chalk up this terrifying monster of a predator, who devours human after human ruthlessly, and they barely show him. It was cinematic genius. Can you imagine each scene showing a terrible robotic shark gnawing on his victims? No, because it would be cheesy as hell! And that SCENE! IN THIS MOVIE? WAS SO BAD! Remember when I said I loved the costumes? That’s still true except for Gluttony, he was a mistake.

The Antagonists

The antagonists are equally as important as the protagonists. A good antagonist has depth, has reason, has lapses in judgement and is written as a protagonist who has different motives. Envy and Lust are both such COOL fucking antagonists in FMAB, and are both individually explained as separate entities. In this movie they served no other purpose than to exist as the bad guys. We get a peek into Lust when she’s killed, but that would have been more emotional and meaningful if she was given more depth prior to that. Why is she doing what she’s doing? Why IS she the bad guy? Why is she the way that she is? And the same questions apply to Envy. This movie doesn’t tell us. It just tells us, “Hey, these are the bad guys. Let’s hope our heroes defeat them!”

Riza Hawkeye

I didn’t hate her, but I didn’t love her. Riza is supposed to be this total badass, and a very complicated character. I don’t think the actress they cast was bad, so I’m not blaming her at all, but I don’t think she should have been Riza. Honestly she just looked too much like a porcelain doll. Riza isn’t supposed to look breakable. I’m probably being too picky on this specific point, but I’m just so fond of Hawkeye’s character and very protective of her and I don’t think she was done justice. 

The fight choreographers set her up to fail, also. They did a great job with Ed, but they probably did jack squat with her. The writers didn’t give her any fight scenes, fine. But they did give her scenes holding a gun. And I don’t know if they spent much time teaching the actress how to properly handle a gun.

Yeah she holds it alright, but she doesn’t handle it expertly. If I’m watching a movie about the military, I expect little things like that to be believable. It wasn’t that actress’ fault, of course not, why should she know how to handle a rifle believably, as though it was an extension of her body? It was the producers’, the director’s, fault for not having someone teach her. This may come off as nitpicky, but if you want to make a great film, you make shit like that happen. Don’t show me a character who is supposed to be a master chef if they chop vegetables unevenly or don’t tie up their hair. Big things are important, yes, but little things are even more so. It shows that the filmmakers are paying attention.

The film’s score

It wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t impressive. I LIVE for movie scores so this can be more of an opinion than a critique, but I’m gonna briefly talk about it anyway.

Some of it was nice, like in Lust’s death scene, but in other scenes, it just felt so unnecessary. Like it was way too big and didn’t match the scene that was happening. So, basically, I wasn’t impressed. 

Winry Rockbell

It’s a common practice in anime to make many female characters high-pitched and over-the-top, but that’s not really something that should be done in live action films because it doesn’t translate the same. To me, her character just came off as obnoxious most of the time. 

In the series, she’s strong and tough, but still feminine. She’s young and naive, but has the upmost potential and is sharp as hell. She didn’t serve as a purpose in this movie except as Ed’s damsel in distress and that’s not what she’s supposed to be.

And that wrench she used to knock against Al’s head? Totally the worst. It looked like a Halloween prop. That can be pulled off in an animated movie or show but not live action, it just makes it look ridiculous. Like what size of a wrench is that? What would that realistically be used for? Screwing on a propeller to a fucking fighter jet?! 

The absence of the Mustang Gang 

Mustang has a following. He’s what Amestris needs, he has a difficult goal, and few see his potential, but his team does, and they risk their lives day after day for him. That’s a big effing deal. And not only does it add depth to the series, it adds depth to Mustang as a character. The Mustang Gang gives him depth. And to go along with my previous point of the characters being two dimensional, part of it is because of stuff like this.

There was a way to introduce them, introduce what they mean to Mustang and what he means to them, how they interact with each other, giving insight to how the military might be in this world, they just had so much potential and I’m bitter that it wasn’t included.

OK I’m going to try and wrap this up, I could honestly write a dissertation on what went wrong.

TL;DR:

This was definitely not the worst live-action adaptation I’ve ever seen. But just because it IS an adaptation, and adaptations hold a reputation for being bad, doesn’t give this movie lenience for being one of the better ones. 

As an adaptation? It was alright! 

As a film? It was bad. It was a bad film.

They didn’t develop ANY of the characters, they ignored their budgets and showed bad CGI/costumes when they could have enacted clever tactics to avoid the cheese, they ignored many integral parts of the series, parts which made the series so damn good, and they stuffed and stuffed this movie so full of plot points and events until it became non-cohesive and unsteady. A good film is smooth, flowing, and engaging. 

One day, if I ever manage to make my dreams come true, I’ll write the best FMA movie you can imagine, I’ll make it, and I will slay the notion that adaptations will always be mediocre. There is a way to make it good, to make it great! There is a way to make a great live-action anime film!

Burn me at the stake if you disagree with me, but these are my thoughts and I had to write them out.

Again, I did not hate this movie! There were good things. But that doesn’t give it a pass for not being great.

[onestarwonders]

Everyone gets to have a go in your room

This was the ABSOLUTE WORST place I have ever stayed in my entire life! NO exaggeration in this review. I travel to different states every weekend for competitions with my college. We stay in a different state in hotels every weekend for about 6 months out of the year, so I've been in some pretty nasty hotels. However, never in my life have I stayed in such a sketchy hell hole of a hotel. I arrived at my room, which had two double beds, late at night after a long day of traveling to the Denver area. I went to the bathroom to find there were only two towels in the whole room, and no soap whatsoever. The bathroom was somewhat clean, but a person needs soap and towels in order to bathe. I went to my bed and pulled back the covers, about to get in, when I noticed big splatters of BLOOD on the underside of the comforter. To make matters worse, I wasnt traveling with my team this time. Instead I had my 81 year old grandmother along with me!!! We were both disgusted. My grandmother has a hard time walking, but she insisted that we go down to the first floor and report the blood on my blanket and ask for some soap and towels. It sounded like a good idea, until we got down to the front desk only to find that ITS CLOSED FROM 11PM TO 8AM! We could have gone somewhere else, but not being familiar with Colorado, and having looked up the hotel's location prior to our trip, we did not know where to go. I had my laptop along and went to look up some other hotel rooms and directions with the free wifi that the hotel CLAIMED to provide, but when I tried to get online, there was no internet to be found! Disgusted, we got to sleep around 2 in the morning, me without a blanket and only the sheets, when we had to wake up at 6 AM to go to a business meeting. One would think that this would be the end of my review, but OH no, it gets WORSE. The next morning, after our whopping 4 hours of sleep on the lumpy, blood ridden beds, we gathered all of our belongings to return to my grandma's car, because she would rather have her personal belongings parked somewhere in Arvada than stay in our room. We had a great time at the business meeting and visited family, but this second night we made sure to get to our room before the front desk closed. After getting my grandma up the stairs, we went to our room to grab the blood stained blanket, but when we put in our key, our door wouldn't open! We tried for about five minutes when we heard a knock coming from the INSIDE of our room! We knocked back, and to our horror, our room door was opened by a few men who explained to us that our room was the room they were assigned when the arrived earlier in the day. We were horrified! Thankfully we cleared all of our belongings out of that room! We went to the front desk and demanded an explanation. The clerk could offer us nothing, except that yes, they did have on record that we paid for two nights in that room, and that whoever was working that day must have deleted us from the system. We asked about the WIFI, but they explained that we needed an ethernet cable in order to access the internet. I'm not sure what generation these people were from, but WIFI means WIRELESS INTERNET. They THEN told us that they were 99% full (how, I dont know, maybe the price) and said that they could put us in the last room where we had to share a bed. My grandmother was so tired and frustrated that she agreed. No refund. No apologies. Nothing. We go to our room, which had a soap bar in it this time, no shampoo, and crawled into bed VERY angry. According to the front desk guy, we could come back in the morning to complain to the manager. Too bad we had to leave at 6 am and they opened at 8! We finally fell asleep, when suddenly someone tried to break into our room! We could hear drunken people yelling from the floor above us the night before, so we were terrified. Somehow, whoever tried to get into our room, had a key that worked! Our door, that we made sure to lock, was open with only the metal latch lock keeping in closed! Needless to say, we only got about 2 hours of sleep that

night. NEVER come here! I'm a pretty tough farm girl and I don't need choice living conditions, but this was TOO MUCH. I DONT RECOMMEND THIS FOR FAMILIES WITH CHILDREN OR ELDERLY PEOPLE! We STILL haven't gotten a refund or apology or anything! The price may sound good, but we found out the next day that there is a Ramada branch hotel just a mile up the road for $8 more that probably has much better service than this place could dream of. DO NOT STAY HERE!

- Hotel, Arvada

[malgal7777]

Hiking with Tracy 2021:  Weekends 2 & 3, the grind.

Weekends 2 & 3 were tough.  Tough towards the end.  I was tired.  On both Saturdays, 4/10 & 4/17, I hiked 20 miles each day.  Doing the bulk of my 25 mile weekend quota. My poor feet were throbbing and they hated me at this point. But...there’s nothing like the end in sight...literally. Being able to see the end of the road! Just a little bit further. Unfortunately when you do see it, your legs become weights and the reality of how tired you are sinks in.  

Luckily for me, I live in paradise.  The Bay Area in spring is quite lovely.  Even along a dirty highway, there’s beauty to be had.  Everything is blooming.  “Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.”  Thanks Jerry!

So, that’s what kept me going.  The vast amount of beauty I found around me.  

It’s been 2 weeks now and I’m having problems recalling all of 4/10-4/11.  That’s what happens when you’re fifty folks.  I need to jot some notes down while I walk, make a list of things.   I’ll post some photos and hopefully that will help jog my memory:

Ah, Yes, I remember now.  My new friend MacDonald Gate to my old friend Lake Chabot.  This time I included the whole lake and then returned by same way I came.  19.9 miles.  I started early and one of my favorite parts of the whole hike came at the beginning. I was on MacDonald Gate Trail, past the Park Ridge entrance overlooking the canyon below.  Time was approximately 7:45 am.  The whole canyon was ALIVE with the sound of birds.  Chirping and singing, communicating with each other.  So loud and constant.  Nature’s Aviary.  I couldn’t believe I was privy to these private conversations. I stood there for quite some time, just listening.  Which I never do!  I’m the bozo who cannot wait for my next turn to talk.  I’m not listening to you, I’m just waiting for you to stop, so it’s my turn again.  I know, horrible.  But there you have it.  And you know what, I learned something.  I learned that if I don’t stop and LISTEN, I’ll miss out.  I would have missed that exhilarating experience of hearing that many birds talk at the same time!  That was the theme of this hike.  Stop and listen and you just might experience something enlightening.  Something I need to remember in other areas of my life. But then I remembered I had 18 miles to go, so SNAP OUT OF IT!

I made it to Lake Chabot. This time though, I went the opposite direction, counter clock-wise. My original plan was to walk the lake twice.  On the second lap, I was going to change directions.  I’m happy to report, that I think the decision not to hike around twice was a good one.  Lake Chabot is not easy.  It’s 9 miles of some pretty gnarly inclines and it gets hot.  I also found out I prefer clock-wise.  It would have been tough, especially since my second lap would have been the direction I did not prefer.   

I may have had a preference on my direction, but Lake Chabot is still pretty extraordinary regardless of the direction you go.  One of the great parts of hiking is you come upon some interesting people.  As I was nearing the Lake Chabot Marina, I heard the dulcet tones of a ukulele being played.  The marina was pretty much my half way point, so to come upon a spiritual sound egging  me on, was energizing to say the least!  The marina is the busy part of the lake.  Lots of movers and shakers.  Families picnicking, boating, fishing and just mulling about.  Life is awakening after a long tough year.  And the ukulele was my sign that we just might make it after all.  It was being played by a teenage boy sitting at a picnic table with his family.  Enjoying the fresh air while having a bite.  Not a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon.  

Then there was super mom & dad.  I don’t know who this family was but they were awesome.  A spark of energy I have never seen before, and that’s saying something.  My nickname is FireCracker!  Him & his wife came out of a small path along the trail.  Lake Chabot has all these really nice small beaches or coves where people can fish in private or just sit along the water.  They came out with a stroller and a 1-1/2 year old.  The toddler was adorable of course.  Super chunky cheeks and a smile that would melt a glacier.  I was about to hit the largest hill in this direction.  It’s a hill that doesn’t stop.  Every time I go down it, I thank my lucky stars I’m not going up.  Well today the stars were not with me.  So, I’m starting to make my climb and they are behind me but gaining fast.  I’m thinking to myself, no way.  Too much baggage.  It can’t be them.  Sure enough, they blow past me up this hill.  We stop to talk, I commend them on their progress with a stroller and a baby in it.  I also let them know this hill is just beginning so pace yourself.  And they have another 6 miles to go to get back to the marina. But I’ll be damned, they were killing it!  Amazing.  I actually lost track of them until a mile later.  I was coming down a canyon on a zig-zag trail and they were already at the bottom.  The toddler had made his way onto Mom’s shoulders!  Dad was now carrying the stroller and they were still moving pretty fast but singing and making it pretty enjoyable for their baby.  I couldn’t help but feel a sense joy in knowing how lucky that baby was to have those two as his parents.

Sunday saw me back at Point Pinole for a quick 5 mile hike.  It was as beautiful as ever.  Not much to report except to post more photos!

And then we have Saturday, 4/17, my 20 mile walk along the Bay Trail.  Emeryville to Richmond and back.