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darealsaltysam · 4 years ago

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what your paladins main says about you

a comprehensive essay by a paladins player of right around 4 years

this is like really long so i’ll make it under the cut so my followers don’t have to scroll through this if they don’t wanna

(for context i’m a current maeve main, i used to main skye and sha lin and played tyra a long while ago)

Androxus

it’s not a phase, mum

“i don’t care we don’t have healer, i’m really good at him i swear”

you ult every time it loads in and you die before the final shot

your favorite mode is siege because you can fly up and shoot the whole point on ult

you’re usually really stand-offish and don’t communicate much and/or a 13 year old boy with anger issues

Ash

you are level-headed but in a scary way

you will hold the point solo even if it costs you your streak

“get on the point” “guys get on the point” “attack the objective”

you’ll ult to save yourself 99% of the time

good leader

Atlas

you probably used to main lex or androxus before he came out

“he’s like a flank, but a tank, he’s great!”

you chase after solo kills instead of sticking to the point

healers hate you, flanks and damages fear you

your favorite mode is death match

Barik

you’re a former/current tf2 player looking for something fresh

you don’t like working too hard so you spam turrets on the point and hope for the best

“healer stick to me i’m boutta ult”

actually really nice between rounds

but you don’t communicate much mid-game and kind of do your thing

Bomb King

you’re a really old player. you have the beta makoa skin and you were there when lex was first released. veteran’s discount.

your favorite maps are the old ones and they barely show up any more

the team always underestimates you

“who plays bomb king in 2021 lol?”

you need a hug

Buck

“wait, he’s a flank? i thought he was a tank??”

you’re also a veteran in the game

you’re a dying breed. i like never see you. do you even exist?

you’ve been here since like the first day of the game

buck gets so many skins and you want all of them but the best you have is a random recolor

Cassie

sweetest person alive

“we can do it guys! let’s try to all rush the point this time!”

you are the bane of every flank

the opposing team hates you, your own team kind of doesn’t notice you’re there

*casually gets a pentakill*

Corvus

you know those weirdly political kids who like ww2 and know the details of every tank to ever exist? yeah that’s you

but like that’s corvus. as a character.

but no one ever plays him.

like i never even see him do you exist???

you are a cryptid.

Dredge

yo ho you’re a hoe

no seriously the other team views you and they FEAR you

“yeah i just got a penta kill” “YOU WHAT?” “eyes on the point mate don’t get distracted”

hella good at the game and hella casual about it

you like onslaught on the one sea map the most

Drogoz

another veteran, are we?

you’re either useless or can wipe out a whole team in seconds. there is no in-between.

you always have a really cool skin.

dovahkiin, dovahkiin...

“i don’t care about the point i gotta get them trips”

Evie

you bought her because you thought she was cute, admit it

*turns into ice right before dying* *turns into ice right before dying* *turns into ice right be

your personality type is identical to her. no question about that.

always buys faster reload and better speed

strangely good communication with the team

Fernando

gay gay homosexual gay

“he’s kinda hot if you look at him the right way”

fernando is the tank for gay people

you are gay people

i don’t have much more to say

Furia

mum energy. not as much as inara mains, but still, mum energy.

will protect every member of the team with your life, even the flanks

you’ve been maining her since she was first added

i bet you didn’t even know she’s canonically seris’ sister

“we’ve literally failed to capture the point the last 3 times we might as well give up and go to another game”

Grohk

“yeah i have a gremlincore tumblr blog, how could you tell?”

i honestly have no words

you’re kind of like a catboy but a racoon

do you even heal the team or do you just pretend

you were there when lex got announced and thought he was cringe, now everyone finally agrees with you

Grover

he was your first purchased character and he’s stuck around ever since

he’s the only healer you can play well

“i am groot lmao”

you would never say a word to your team

would give your life for the tank but that’s about it

Imani

daenerys targaryen on drugs

your favorite anime is my hero academia

your husbando is todoroki

you see where i am going with this

“team protect me i’m gonna ult” *dies 5 seconds into ult*

Inara

BIG MUM ENERGY

your team is your family. you will protect them with your life.

can only hold your own with a good healer so you have good teamwork going for you

*cutely places wall in front of your ult*

useless in tdm so you stick to onslaught, siege and koth

are you a furry, furry, or a furry?

“victow! dont ult on my tweam pwease! uwu!”

you 100% find her attractive in some way shape or form

you are either a 30 year old redditor who enjoys loli content or a 16 year old teen who is playing a shooter for the first time

she’s kind of cute, i guess

Jenos

i can never tell if i’m going to absolutely destroy you or if you’re gonna kick my ass

*cutely holds you up so the whole team can shoot you to death*

kamehameha

you’re a healer??? i guess???

your character has such deep lore and i bet you don’t even know half of it

Khan

one day you were playing and your team desperately needed a tank. you picked the first one you saw. suddenly, you’re lian’s foot stool

despite 2 layers of heavy armor, you’d still let this man walk all over you

“this skin is really cool, wish it wasn’t behind a pay wall...”

YEET

you actually know the game’s lore, for some reason

Kinessa

i never trust people who are good at a sniper. if you’re bad that’s natural and you’re 99% of the population. if you’re good you are definitely up to something

you’d sell your sister for 5 pennies if you could

you’re missing from the team all game and somehow have the most kills

“we have a kinessa???”

you are an urban legend to your team

Koga

someone’s been watching naruto

you are so shit at the game. like i’m sorry. no one’s good at koga i’m so sorry

how do you have so many skins for one character???

you’re always missing from the point

healers hate you. so does the enemy kinessa.

Lex

quit the game /nm

“who mains lex in 2021??? lmao???”

wall hacks, aimbot, and it’s all legal for you as an ability. you are a hacker in a world of puny vanillas. you like it easy so you go for the easy min max character. have fun getting hated

you think he’s hot and press on his loading abilities just so he can scold you and you can hear him being mad at you

*bonk* go to horny jail

Lian

"she could step on me”

you used to main some sort of healer but switched over when you got sick of everyone being needy

you can hold a point all on your own for a really really long time but the moment your team gets there you start flunking

you wish you had more skins for her

you don’t

Maeve

so imagine this. it was like 2018 and you were just chilling playing the game. you kept getting killed by maeve. in every game. she was in every game you went to and she kept killing you over and over and over again. you got frustrated, snapped, and bought her to see if you could do the same to others. you are now the maeve in every game. the cycle repeats.

your whole team doubts you but then you casually get a quad kill and they just sort of look away

you die a total of two times each round and 99% of the time it’s because you go too fast and fall off the map

you repeat everything she says in her accent because you think it’s cute

“welcome to ze meant streets, kitten!” “can you shut the fuck up” “i hate to cut and run, he-he!”

Makoa

you have the plushie skin or the beta skin, otherwise you don’t main and only play casually stop lying to yourself

“attack turtle go brrr”

you’re really good if you get paired with a good healer

otherwise you’re useless

you wish you could get better teammates because you could really thrive with an organized group. but on paladins you won’t get that, i’m sorry-

Mal’Damba

i always forget this guy is even in the game

you’re definitely under 6 foot IRL

you have an older sibling you always fight with

you’d love to have a snake irl

you’re really chill outside of the game, but when playing you hella rage

Moji

you are so precious

but also such a little shit

you annoy me but i also want to give you a hug

“let’s go guys!! to the point!! wheee!!”

please never change but also get out of my sight

Octavia

you always main the new character until the new person drops

somehow always have enough credits to buy the new champion whenever they come out

you don’t like having a stable main cuz you get bored

you like hanging out at the training rage

hate siege and love team death match, you like your games quick

Pip

you are the worst and best thing to ever happen to this game

you only pick him to heal yourself and hardly ever heal your team

no one notices you there until you ult

then you get focused

honestly you just seem like you wanna do your thing and i can respect that

Raum

you probably go to therapy or desperately need it

“BIG MAN BIG. HE IS BIG. BRRRR”

you always love the demons in media

you like being in charge of the team and wreck the point any time you are there, you like fighting on your own but having a healer nearby is nice too

you probably have daddy issues

Ruckus

you think ruckus’ and bolt’s dynamic is cool and that’s one of the main reasons you started playing him

he’s the only tank you can play

you used to main either inara or ying at some point but chose violence instead

really short irl. you physically relate to ruckus and spiritually to bolt.

“funny goblin man :)”

Seris

certified girlboss

you can hold an objective all on your own or heal your whole team no problem. either way you are SLAYING

“alright. who’s ass am i kicking today?”

mum energy is inferior to inara but still kind of there

i’m like 50% sure you have a foot fetish

Sha Lin

*pointing and chanting* incel, incel, ince-

whether that’s about you or the character you can decide

you like minecraft bedwars on the side

“if i don’t get this headshot i am literally going to spontaneously combust”

really useful when there’s no other long distance people - otherwise a nuisance

Skye

AWOOGA *jaw drops to ground, eyes roll out of head* BOOBA BOOBA BOOBA

you bought her for the tiddies, didn’t you?

she’s actually really satisfying to play once you get the hang of her, but can be real tough on rough days

you need a break i think - maybe play some other game for a bit?

*casually gets team kill with ult*

Strix

you own at least one pretty knife

you played him when he was unlocked on rotation, fell in love, and spent a whole evening collecting credits to buy him fully

“haha bird man”

i’ve said what i said about snipers. if you’re actually good at him you are hiding a body somewhere. i fear you.

why does everyone ship him with viktor????

Talus

little furry child

he reminds me of tommyinnit because he is small and annoying

if you play him you are tall and intimidating

i’m friends with a tall scary talus main

i can’t say bad things please spare me

Terminus

you always ult at the worst time and just get killed again 5 seconds after

“hey losers watch this” *goes on the point, dies, revives, kills one person and dies again*

you’re only a good tank if you cooperate

you don’t

on your own you’re a pretty good player

Tiberius

*sigh*

you think the cat is hot, don’t you?

“his accent is kinda cute tho hehe”

you saw that one ending scene in zootopia with the dancing tigers and it CHANGED you

you are probably a furry. if not your awakening is coming. be ready.

Torvald

you’ve been playing this game for too long

you’ve seen skins rise and fall. you’ve seen nerfs and buffs. you’ve seen reworks and remakes. you are ancient. older than the dragons and wiser than makoa. respect.

people see you on the opposing team and get really annoyed

“the point is really crowded, we can’t move in” “don’t worry guys, my ult is charged up”

you’re really good at all the characters but you like this guy a lot because you think he’s funky fresh

Tyra

you’re either new to the game or have been playing for too long

either way you can KICK ASS but you need to keep behind your team to do the most damage

flanks are the bane of you, especially the fast jumpy ones

you really want one of the cooler skins but you can only ever get the basic ones. such is the curse of maining one of the OG characters.

“bite me”

Viktor

you are level 100+ guaranteed, and everyone fears you

“oh shit they got a victor. flank focus him”

you probably play COD and CS:GO normally and wanted to go with something familiar and easy. your skill from the other more advanced games DWARFS everyone else

but why are you playing “guy with gun 132″ in a game with magical elves and fairies. like come on bro.

you don’t have any in-game friends because paladins is your guilty pleasure game you would never admit to

Vivian

“step on me” syndrome cranked up to 100%

this woman could spit on you and you’d still respect her more than your own mother. good for you

“i’m not a simp. i’m just tier 3 subbed to pokimane ironically”

you sweat the game hardcore. former victor main or he’s your secondary.

you’ve got her on level 50+ at least

Vora

like the maeve mains but somehow worse

bought her out of spite or played her while she was on rotation, now here you are grinding credits for her a day after she became unavailable

honestly you’re really good at the game i have nothing else to say

you enjoy the newer characters more than the OGs - you’re either a former vivian or lian main

you miss the play of the game feature in the game because you’d get all of them with this girl

Willo

you seem like the moji mains at first but show your true colors soon after

“fuck you” x50

you are a trash talker on max overdrive. you need to sit down, do some breathing exercises and have a drink.

you hate your own team more than the opposing guys

when you see a willow on the opposing team you make it your sole goal to eliminate her as many times as humanely possible

Yagorath

i bet you didn’t know she was canonically female until you read this

you don’t like sweating too much so you pick the tank that leaves you heavily relying on your healers and damages

you can hold a point really well so you like siege and onslaught

“are vora and yagorath connected in the lore somehow and do i really care?”

you have a friend who you always party up with to be your healer, otherwise you might switch to another character

Ying

“tanks love me, flanks hate me”

you are too powerful. literally. how are you so strong

you’ve mastered the most difficult healer in the game. the others are really easy for you to play but you have trouble with seris

motivate your team a lot but start shading and trash talking if they don’t cooperate

you’ll gladly play someone else for a long while and like taking breaks from her

Zhin

this is your first main after switching over from overwatch. we can smell it on you.

you’re really annoyed with his personality and voice lines but the character is too good to play for you to pass him up for that. you respond to his voice lines aloud very aggressively to let him know he’s an ass

“YES ZHIN HEALERS AREN’T USELESS YOU SELFISH PRICK”

you try your best but you’re not a great team player

infinite trips on a good day, die repeatedly without kills on a bad one and you switch over to vora or skye for a bit.

this took me hours to write out pls leave reblog and note thanks uwu

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jippy-kandi · 4 years ago

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Digimon Adventure: 2020 – Episode 18: Countdown To Tokyo’s Annihilation (Review)

Thoughts on the eighteenth episode of the Digimon Adventure reboot series.

This episode was a weird one for me. There was action, and the plot ends up going somewhere, but it still felt like nothing really happened?

Nidhoggmon is one scary looking digimon.

I actually liked the moment Yamato finally called Taichi by his first name, even if there wasn’t that much of a build up to it. I’m Taito trash, I guess. :P (Though I wish Yamato had referred to Sora as “Takenouchi” just once before this happened . . . because I’m sure he’s going to use first names for all of them from now on.)

While I love Omegamon (he is my favourite digimon), the fact that he showed up in the first few episodes makes his reappearance now quite underwhelming . . . been there, done that, you know? Also, having Takeru and Hikari “help” create him again annoys me. In the OG, having Angemon and Angewomon shoot arrows at Taichi and Yamato to reach Mega was fine, because it only happened once. Here, Takeru and Hikari already helped earlier . . . I hope it’s not going to be established that Takeru and Hikari need to help Taichi and Yamato evolve to Omegamon. (Though, obviously, it does make sense that they need to so early on in the story, where no one has even reached Mega yet - but I want Omegamon to be “just” Taichi and Yamato’s power down the track.)

In Takeru’s apartment, under the astronaut poster, there is a plane. Again, I can imagine Yamato influencing Takeru with his love of toy planes and interest in flying and space and it’s all so adorable. :)

So it seems Takeru has been transported to the Digital World, but Hikari has not? His hands digitised while hers didn’t, and we saw her later on, still in Tokyo. I’m assuming this is because they’re following the OG where Takeru was in the Digital World with the others, before Hikari joins them later as the Eighth Child.

When Omegamon appears, Sora is actually physically pointing at him. I thought it looked funny. :P

The other kids might as well just get out popcorn to watch The Taito Show. :P

When Omegamon was doing the final strike against Nidhoggmon, Taichi and Yamato screamed like they were going Super Saiyan, haha.

Yuuko: “Hikari!” Hikari: “Mum.” Yuuko: “I’m so glad!” Hikari: “Yeah . . . Mum, Taichi’s OK.” Yuuko: “What?” Hikari: “I can tell.” Don’t worry, Hikari, your mum wasn’t thinking about her other child at all. :P

So Sora, Koushirou, Mimi and Jou literally just sat on their arses the entire time, doing nothing but watching Taichi and Yamato, just to get sucked away from the main plot in the end . . . OK, sure, you do you reboot. :P

Devimon is the longest tease ever. He does seem cool though, but he better be a worthy adversary (and not die in one episode). I liked that he finally revealed himself to Taichi and Yamato (because it’s been such a long tease), but I question . . . why? lol

So I’m pretty bummed that Takeru and Hikari didn’t join the team this episode, when I thought they would and was looking forward to the team being complete . . . I’m amazed Toei has held off on them for so long. It’s been months since the series started and we’ve rarely seen Hikari, and Takeru even less. They are really playing the long game here. Kinda impressed, kinda annoyed. :P

I also thought the entire group would be together again after the Ultimate group splits . . . I was really looking forward to them being a team and interacting with each other. But now they’re split up again? SIGH. Hopefully they reunite really soon though, because even I’m getting tired of the reboot being The Taito Show (and they consist of two of my three favourite characters!).

This episode wasn’t it, folks. The Omegamon bits did feel “epic” but the episode itself felt strangely muted. Here’s hoping next week is better, but it looks like it’s just going to focus solely on Taichi and Yamato . . .

I really think Toei Animation need to understand that if you’re going to have eight protagonists, you need to give all eight time to develop and shine. Taichi may be the main protagonist, and Yamato the second main, and they are absolutely the most popular, but . . . there are other characters with their own fans, too.

Please acknowledge all your creations, Toei.

#digimon #digimon adventure #digimon adventure:#digimon adventure 2020 #chosen children #taichi yagami #yamato ishida #sora takenouchi #koushirou izumi #mimi tachikawa #jou kido #takeru takaishi #hikari yagami #review #screenshots #spoilers #welcome to the taito show

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whenihaveyouromione · 4 years ago

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When I Have You - Chapter 1

This can also be read on ffn.net and ao3

A/N: This story will follow the lives of Ron and Hermione from the end of DH, to the epilogue and then beyond. This places all of my head canon in one story, along with tidbits of canon provided by JKR throughout. I like to stick mostly to canon post war, so I've followed the books to a T, and mostly everything post war is canon or canon-compliant. There will be the odd change, most barely noticeable.

Also, standard message that this in no way follows the Cursed Child plot at all, and I ignore it completely. This includes Hermione becoming Minister for Magic (which I know is something people like to include), as it makes no sense in comparison to the other canon JKR has provided. Plus, I hate Cursed Child, so… yeah.

Also, prior to reading this, please be aware that this story is intended to be LONG, it is intended to be an extremely slow burn. The chapter length is currently unknown, but I am predicting well over 200 chapters by the end. This is also not action packed, nor is it filled with unpredictability. This is a story where I go into excruciating detail about their lives after the war, but the intention is to be no surprises. Everything you think will happen, WILL happen. Please be mindful of that before going into this. I don't want anyone to be left disappointed. The idea is to detail their lives, not to have you on the edge of your seat with anticipation! If that's what you're after, this story is not for you.

This story also will contain implied sex. Sex scenes resemble 90's sitcoms — you have the before, you have the after, but none of the in between. They also talk a bit (not a lot, because it's not my focus) about sex. I am writing about their relationship, so it's obviously going to exist, but it's not going to be detailed, just implied.

Also, last but not least, this story has an Instagram account. As it's so long and detailed, I've decided to add some hopefully additional entertainment to it. The handle is (with no spaces) 'whenihaveyou . romione' on IG. Please feel free to follow. If for some reason you can't see it on here, feel free to PM me for it. I'll be posting small sneak peaks, responses to questions, etc on there. I'm even throwing my hand up to attempt some fanart on my own story, but I promise that writing is more my thing lol.

And now, to the story (I swear the future a/n's won't be this long). I hope you enjoy, and as usual, your thoughts, comments, questions, are all appreciated!

----------------------

Chapter 1

Ron brushed a stray strand of hair away from Hermione's face, which lit up at his touch. A smile graced her lips, but her eyes remained closed for a few moments longer. It was their favourite way to spend their afternoons; lying on his Chudley Cannons spread, arms around each other, sometimes dozing or sometimes talking. After long days of preparing for the coming funerals and Flooing to Hogwarts to help with repairs, it was always nice to come back and not think about the devastation that had befallen the wizarding world. While everyone grieved, these few moments together were a welcomed solace.

When laying beside her, Ron allowed himself a few moments of happiness. Because that's what she made him feel: happy. When she'd thrown her arms around him and kissed him in the middle of the war, he thought he'd loved her then. Now, ten days later, he realised how mistaken he'd been. This was love. Spending almost every moment, day and night, with her; holding her, kissing her, had made him fall helplessly in love, and for the first time ever, he was almost certain that she felt the same way.

He kissed her lightly on the lips, running fingers through her thick hair. She smiled against him, her eyes finally opening.

"We should go down and help the others with dinner," he murmured. "Before Mum comes looking for us."

As was to be expected, Molly had been a mess since the end of the war. Fred's death had impacted all of them, but no one more than his mother. For the first few days, they'd not seen her as she kept herself locked away in her bedroom, Arthur bringing her every meal. On the third day, she'd ventured out for a few moments before taking one look at everyone and bursting into tears. She'd spent another two days locked away after that.

She was out and about now, but out of respect for her feelings, Ron felt it best to keep his sudden relationship with Hermione secret. He did not think his mother would take kindly to one of her sons finding happiness in such a dark time.

They'd intended to keep it secret from everyone apart from Harry and Ginny, but word had gradually gotten out amongst the rest of the Weasleys. Bill had stumbled upon Ron placing a kiss on her forehead one evening before going to bed. Charlie had caught them holding hands in the Burrow's garden another night. Percy seemed to just know, and Arthur had awkwardly found them in a passionate embrace one morning in a Hogwarts' corridor.

No one spoke of it after, though. Everyone seemed to know better than to mention anything in front of Molly, so meal times resulted in limiting their affection to smiles across the table. That made these moments alone even more special.

Hermione sat up, resting her back against the headboard and yawning. Today had been especially difficult; after days of being hounded by the press as they demanded answers and spat out ridiculous theories (at Hogwarts, of all places), Harry had Disapparated to who knew where and hadn't returned. If he had any sense, he would have gone somewhere no one would find him. Ron suspected he had gone to Grimmauld Place.

"You think Harry's alright?" Hermione asked, rubbing her eyes.

"No, not really," Ron said. "But I can't blame him. The media have been unforgiving. It's easier for us to brush them aside, because they don't care as much about us. Can't imagine what it's like for him."

"How long should we give him?" Hermione asked.

"A few days." Ron shrugged, feeling his mood darken. "Fred's funeral is in three days. Lupin and Tonks' the day after that. I can't imagine him missing them."

Hermione looked less convinced. She looked at Ron, clearly worried. Ron placed an arm around her shoulder and drew her to him so that her head was on his shoulder. "He'll be alright," he assured her. "He just needs some time."

There was a moment's silence, and then, "Ron?" Hermione's voice cracked as she spoke his name.

"Hm?"

Silence again. Ron squeezed her tighter as he felt hot tears against his shirt. It wasn't unusual for these moments to end in tears, for one reason or another. They'd both had their fair share of crying over the past week and a half. He'd lost count of the number of times she'd been there for him, especially after the first few days when the memories of Fred haunted him most clearly. They still did, but he'd managed to get them under control for the most part. Though, he was dreading the funeral.

"Hey."

Hermione lifted her head at the sudden voice appearing at Ron's bedroom door. It was Bill, looking at them both with defeat. "You two better come down soon, otherwise Mum'll send a search party. She wants to start dinner, and Dad is fighting her…"

"Mum wants to cook?" Ron asked.

Bill nodded. "She's insisting. Ginny is really giving it to her, but she's refusing to listen." He smiled slightly. "I guess it's good to see some of the old fight back, eh?"

Hermione pulled away, wiping the tears from her face. "We should go and help," she sniffed.

Ron nodded, and they both climbed off his bed. Hermione left ahead of them, walking past Bill as if slightly embarrassed that he'd seen her cry. Ron went to follow, but Bill stopped him by clasping a hand on his shoulder.

"You alright? Dad mentioned what happened with Harry today."

Ron nodded. "Yeah. I think a part of me knew it was coming. He's been one moment away from an explosion all week. We've just got to give him some time."

Bill nodded, squeezing his shoulder. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks," Ron said.

Bill let Ron go past, following him down the stairs without speaking. Everyone was in the kitchen, Ginny arguing with Molly.

"We told you, Mum! You're not doing anything. The rest of us have got this. Look —" she threw a hand in Ron's direction, "— Ron's here now. An extra pair of hands, an extra wand! We'll have dinner ready in no time."

"Come on, Mum," Bill said, gently placing his hands on Molly's shaking shoulders. "Let's go and sit down." He slowly guided her from the kitchen and into the living room.

After she was gone, Ginny rounded on Ron. "Your appearance a little earlier might have been beneficial, you know." Her eyes flickered to Hermione, softening when they saw her tear-stained face. She looked away. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"It's alright," Ron said. "We're here now. Where do you want us to start?"

It had become the norm for all the children to prepare the meals each night, with some help from Arthur occasionally. It was the least they could do to make things easier, but since their mother had decided to venture from her room, insisting that they could handle it had become increasingly harder. Ron suspected she wished to busy herself by cooking for her large, yet broken family.

Tonight's preparation was sullen. Even the occasional laughter that had occurred other nights was gone. Ginny's mood was dark, her hurt at Harry's disappearance obvious. Like Ron and Hermione, she'd chosen not to share her relationship with Harry to her mother. If that was what it even was. Harry had pushed most of them away, including Ginny, and had snapped at all of them more than once in the last few days.

Dinner was even quieter, with no one speaking apart from asking someone else to pass a bowl over. Ginny, who had been the most cheerful of the bunch, said nothing at all and barely touched her food. Molly watched her with concern, but said nothing, perhaps understanding why her daughter was so upset. There was an emptiness around the table, one that could only be filled by Harry's reappearance — and, Ron thought, George's. Both were as much part of the family as the other, but neither wished to see anyone.

Hermione helped Bill and Charlie clear the dishes and do the washing up, while everyone else moved into the living room. Ron sat on a conjured two-seater couch that really needed a good clean, saving the second spot for Hermione when she returned.

A small chatter started around the fireplace, with Percy talking of how the Ministry was looking to get things back to normal in the coming weeks.

"Something needs to be done," he said to Ron. "In this time, people need leadership and we currently have none." He then lowered his voice so that only Ron would hear the next part. "Between you and me, the talk is that Kingsley Shacklebolt will be appointed the next Minister for Magic."

This surprised Ron, and yet, it didn't at the same time. He looked at his brother. Percy had become somewhat more enjoyable to be around since the end of the war. Ron didn't think they'd be best friends any time soon, but at least he didn't get the urge to roll his eyes everytime Percy opened his mouth any more. He was Ron's brother, after all, and finally, Ron was able to see him as such.

"That's a good choice, don't you think?" he said.

Percy gave a curt nod. "Yes, I think so."

Hermione, Bill, and Charlie came in after that, and Ron shuffled over so that Hermione could sit next to him. Instinctively, he reached for her hand, but she jolted it away and nodded her head in his mother's direction.

He flushed, his face turning even redder when he saw that his mother was watching the two of them, her eyes narrowed.

"Great," Ron muttered to Hermione, "now she probably thinks you're rejecting my advances, or something."

"Wouldn't that please her?" Hermione asked.

"I don't think either way would please her."

Slowly but surely, people began drifting off to bed. Bill left via Floo for his home — as he did every night — while Charlie and Percy headed upstairs to their respective bedrooms.

When Ginny announced she was going to bed fifteen minutes later, Molly's eyes flashed to Hermione. "I suppose you'll be wanting to go to bed too, dear, so as not to wake Ginny?"

Hermione jumped, her cheeks reddening from the brashness of Molly's voice.

"It's fine, Mum," Ginny said. "I'll be fine."

"But, you don't want to wake her, do you Hermione, dear?"

Hermione had not spent a single night in Ginny's room since being there, just like Harry hadn't spent any in Ron's — an arrangement all four had been happy with. Ron had a sneaking suspicion that something had finally clicked with his mum, because she was now watching Ron as if waiting for him to react.

"Right," Hermione said. "I-I'll go, too. Goodnight, Mr and Mrs Weasley. Ron."

"Er, night, Hermione," Ron said. "See you in the morning."

After Hermione and Ginny had disappeared, a silence fell over the living room. Ron could only stand it for a few moments before he jumped to his feet and said goodnight, too.

Taking the stairs two at a time, he was disappointed to find Hermione not waiting for him in his room. He knew it had only been ten days, but the thought of falling asleep without her suddenly made him feel lonely. He'd become accustomed to her presence, her smell, sleeping with his arms around her, and waking to find her cuddled up against him in the mornings. It was a feeling he had hoped would last longer; forever, if he dared think it.

Unable to help but feel angry with his mother, he changed into his pyjamas and climbed under the covers. It was cold, and he had far too much space in his magically extended bed.

He tossed and turned for what felt like hours, and just as he was finally drifting off to sleep, he was woken by soft, warm lips against his cheek.

"Hermione?" he mumbled, making out her figure in the dark.

"Who else would it be?" Hermione asked, pulling back the covers and falling in beside him. "Ginny figured your mum would come and check to make sure I really was there — I think she suspects I've not been sleeping in the spare bed — so we had to wait."

"Did she?" Ron asked, rolling over and wrapping her in his arms. Instant warmth washed over him, and he buried his face into her hair.

"Yes."

"I'm glad you're here now." He kissed her shoulder and held her even tighter.

"Ron?"

"Mm?"

"What I wanted to say before, when I… couldn't…"

Ron loosened his hold on her, and she rolled over so she was facing him. He reached for his wand and lit it. He'd not realised she'd wanted to say anything before. "What is it?" he asked.

Under the wandlight, he saw her smile. "I wanted to say that I… love you."

The wand slipped from Ron's hand. He scrambled to find it from within the tangle of covers and relit it. "You… do?" In the mess that was the aftermath of war, it only occurred to Ron now that despite his intense feelings and love for her, he'd not actually said those words out loud. He'd thought them — every moment of every day — but he supposed his brain had been so convinced that she knew how he felt, that he had just assumed it was something they'd said to one another.

"Yes," Hermione said, her face practically glowing in the dim light.

"Oh, geez, I didn't even realise —"

"It's okay, Ron. I don't mean to rush you. I just wanted to tell you." She sounded so calm, so pleased with herself.

"What? Rush me? Oh, God, Hermione, I love you a ridiculous amount it's not even funny. I thought I told you that? Why have I never told you that?"

"Preoccupied?" Hermione suggested heartfully. "With a war, with losing our friends…"

Ron kissed her hard on the mouth, to which she responded enthusiastically. He felt her heart beating furiously against his chest, she was that close to him. The kiss deepened — by her, not him — and Ron became suddenly aware of every part of her. Her hands, in particular, had become rather adventurous, running along his arms, his chest, trailing further down... (Merlin, she was enthusiastic)... and then it hit him. He understood. And his bloody nerves got the better of him.

He pulled away, staring at her, the wand still in his hand. She stared back, her cheeks flushed, her breathing heavy, clearly determined to not feel embarrassed by her advancement.

Ron, however, didn't know what to do. Like forgetting to actually tell Hermione how he felt, anything other than holding her at night had not been a priority for him. He loved her deeply, he sought her comfort, but the grief still lingered and he'd not even contemplated taking their relationship further. Well, it had crossed his mind, but not as a serious thought. Not until after the funerals…

But now that it had been presented to him, even if she hadn't said the words directly, it seemed highly appealing.

"Have you, er, been thinking about this?" he asked, pulling completely away from her and sitting up in the bed.

"It's not something that spontaneously popped into my mind, if that's what you mean," Hermione said. For the first time, her voice sounded flat. "Sorry if I scared you. I just thought… I should probably have asked. Do you want to?"

"Yes!" Ron said, a little too quickly. He blushed, but then noticing the smile on her face he added, "Merlin, yes. I love you. I want to. You just caught me completely by surprise. That's all."

"Sorry." Hermione also sat up, facing him. "Perhaps I was a little too forward."

"No, no," Ron said. "I liked that." He grinned, albeit awkwardly. It didn't stop his body from tingling all over, though. A seed had firmly been planted in his mind now, and it was a good seed. A fantastic one.

"Just not tonight?" Hermione guessed.

Truthfully, as much as the idea thrilled him, it terrified him just the same. He was more than happy to kiss her, to hold her hand, but the concept of sex was something different. The insecurities he felt about being so intimate washed over him, just like they had done when Lavender had asked the same of him all those months ago.

The only difference this time was that he genuinely liked Hermione a whole lot more...

Taking his silence for hesitation, Hermione said, "I'm sorry, Ron. I didn't mean to —"

"Don't be," Ron said, reaching out and running a hand along her exposed arm. "You just made me start thinking."

"About?"

He watched her, his heart beating rapidly as he did. She was just incredible. Amazing. She was perfect, and there she was, scarred as much as him from the war, but wanting him. Ron. She loved him.

"Not tonight," he said, shaking his head. "But tomorrow? As nice as it was, you throwing yourself at me isn't exactly how I imagined it to go… not for the first time."

She smiled and nodded. "Okay," she said, and she crawled slightly forward on the bed and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her, now realising how much he wanted her back, how much he wanted to be with her. Now, he had to exercise a whole lot of control because her touch set his skin on fire.

"Hm," he chuckled, pushing her away.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"Maybe we should… take a break," he said, uncomfortably.

"Why? Oh," Hermione flushed, seeing Ron's own red cheeks. She climbed off him. "Right. Sorry." She laid back down on the bed with Ron beside her, though he dared not touch her again just yet.

As he drifted off to sleep, his mind trailed to tomorrow night, and despite his heart pounding in his chest, and his sudden sweaty palms, it couldn't come quick enough.

His last thought before falling asleep was of Hermione, and how he simply could not control just how much he loved her.

----------------------------

And there is the first chapter of who knows how many! I hope you enjoyed, and remember, if you'd like some extra content, or just to interact, please follow the Insta (no spaces) 'whenihaveyou . romione'

This will also be published on ao3 (under FireTheCanon) and Tumblr (handle is 'whenihaveyouromione').

A MAJOR, HUGE, MASSIVE thank you to Autumn (insertcleverandwittytitlehere) who has graciously offered to beta this for me. Your feedback and help has already been AMAZING, along with your encouragement. THANK YOU.

#ronandhermione #romione #romionefanfiction #romionefanfic #ronxhermione #hermionexron #ronandhermionefanfiction #harrypotterfanfiction #harrypotter #ronweasley #hermionegranger #hermioneandron #hermioneandronfanfiction

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ambivalent-auguries · 4 years ago

Note

✩ for Shino and Jaume (from malibvnghts)

Send ‘✩’ for the following:

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? Both lol Who threatens to leave but never actually does? Shino lol Who actually keeps their word and leaves? Jaume oop Who trashes the house? Jaume is trash Do either of them get physical? Both oop How often do they argue/disagree? A LOT bless Who is the first to apologise? Neither they just fuck lol

Sex:

Who is on top? Jaume always Who is on the bottom? Shino always sorry, Shin-Shin Who has the strangest desires? BOTH they are both trash lol Any kinks? Which one don’t they have?? Mostly power play, pain, angry sex, control, breath play, tying up/being tied up, spanking, spitting there’s just so much fuck Who’s dominant in bed? Jaume Is head ever in the equation? Most times lol If so, who is better at performing it? Shino, Jaume rarely does it lol Ever had sex in public? They’ve already gotten frisky on a balcony and Jaume will fuck Shino in an alley way at some point lol Who moans the most? Shino Who leaves the most marks? Jaume Who screams the loudest? Shino lol Who is the more experienced of the two? They are both experienced Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Fuck lol Rough or soft? ROUGH AS HELL THEY ARE SO TRASH pls save me from this ship How long do they usually last? Until Jaume is satisfied lol Is protection used? Yeah sure lol Does it ever get boring? Nah NEVER that’s why they’re with each other lol Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? Watch it be in a cinema lol

Family: NOPE Do not let these two be parents pls

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? If so, how many children do your muses want/have? Who is the favorite parent? Who is the authoritative parent? Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? Who goes to parent teacher interviews? Who changes the diapers? Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? Who spends the most time with the children? Who packs their lunch boxes? Who gives their children ‘the talk’? Who cleans up after the kids? Who worries the most? Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? Jaume but would never admit it the prick lol Who is the little spoon? Shino gets locked into being lil spoon lol Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? BOTH lol Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? Jaume ngl he likes having his hands all around Shino lol How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? 1 minute then Shino becomes uncomfortable lol Who gives the most kisses? Jaume and they’re almost always angry lol What is their favourite non-sexual activity? Talking business, travelling, sometimes partying, fighting lol Where is their favourite place to cuddle? They rarely cuddle but once in a blue moon after sex Jaume will force Shino into it lol Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? Both let’s not lie lol How often do they get time to themselves? Whenever they feel like fucking lol But Jaume is super busy and so is Shino so ya know

Sleeping:

Who snores? Neither If both do, who snores the loudest? N/A Do they share a bed or sleep separately? When they sleep in the same place, they share If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Shino tries to lay apart but Jaume is a lil bitch lol Who talks in their sleep? Neither What do they wear to bed? Nothing loool Are either of your muses insomniacs? Nope Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? Nope Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Side by side lol Shino would punch Jaume if he tried to suffocate him lol Who wakes up with bed hair? Jaume lol Who wakes up first? Jaume Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Jaume What is their favourite sleeping position? Jaume’s favourite sleeping position is when Shino doesn’t struggle lol Who hogs the sheets? Jaume selfish prick Do they set an alarm each night? Jaume does Can a television be found in their bedroom? No Who has nightmares? Neither? Who has ridiculous dreams? Shino is the one with the imagination lol Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Again, Jaume is a selfish prick lol Who makes the bed? The maid... What time is bed time? After midnight lol Any routines/rituals before bed? Sex lol That’s it, they fuck each other into tiredness lol Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Shino lol

Work:

Who is the busiest? Jaume Who rakes in the highest income? Jaume is a rich boyyyy Are any of your muses unemployed? Nope but Shino might as well be lol Who takes the most sick days? Neither lol Who is more likely to turn up late to work? They both have good work ethic Who sucks up to their boss? Jaume’s boss is his mum and he hates her and Shino doesn’t give a shit lol What are their jobs? Jaume is a CEO and Shino is an artist - yeah you didn’t see these two getting together huh? Who stresses the most? Jaume Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? They both enjoy their jobs Are your muses financially stable? Yeah

Home:

Who does the washing? Jaume, I feel lol Who takes out the trash? Shino, every time he kicks Jaume out abshvf loool Who does the ironing? Neither lol Jaume has his clothes sent to the dry cleaners and Shino barely has clothes which don’t have paint on them lol Who does the cooking? Jaume, he’s a good cook Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? Shino lol Who is messier? Jaume is a clean freak so Shino, he’s the slob lol Who leaves the toilet roll empty? Shino Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? Shino Who forgets to flush the toilet? Shino Who is the prankster around the house? Shino because he likes getting on Jaume’s nerves lol Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? Shino lol Who mows the lawn? The gardener... lol Who answers the telephone? Jaume Who does the vacuuming? The cleaner lol Who does the groceries? Jaume Who takes the longest to shower? Jaume but Shino finds himself in the shower because of Jaume lol Who spends the most time in the bathroom? Both, Shino because he’s forced lol

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? Nope How many cars do they own? Jaume owns like three lol Do they own their home or do they rent? Jaume owns, I think Shino rents lol They would own if they lived together Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? Jaume wishes he lived near a coast Do they live in the city or in the country? CITY Do they enjoy their surroundings? Yeah they do What’s their song? THIS ABSOLUTE TRASH LOL What do they do when they’re away from each other? Probably have less stress lol Where did they first meet? A bar How did they first meet? Jaume went like: Imma fuck you in the next hours, Shino was like: Pfff fuck off you creep, and then he fucked the creep lol Who spends the most money when out shopping? JAUME lol Who’s more likely to flash their assets? Jaume lol Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? Shino lol Any mental issues? Does anger count lol Does mommy issues count lol Who’s terrified of bugs? Neither lol Who kills the spiders around the house? Jaume Their favourite place? Spain uwu they are soft in Spain lol Who pays the bills? Jaume loool Do they have any fears for their future? Being tied down Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Jaume Who uses up all of the hot water? Jaume because again he’s the most selfish prick Who’s the tallest? Jaume Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? Jaume lol He sometimes gets impatient Who wanders around in their underwear? Shino and Jaume takes it off lol Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? Jaume loool what a loser lol What do they tease each other about? Shino teases Jaume about everything and anything, Jaume teases Shino about how loud he is and how much he enjoys sex with him lol Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? JAUME LOOOL He cringes so hard at Shino lol Do they have mutual friends? They have mutual like people they know in the business lol Who crushed first? You know it’s Jaume lol weak ass bitch Any alcohol or substance related problems? Jaume just drinks a lot? Nicotine? Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? Jaume lol Who swears the most? They both do, AGAIN do not let these two have kids fuck

#jaume and shino mood #THE MENACES #i love them lol #Anonymous

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paulvibe · 6 years ago

Text

Just Friends - Part 6 (Paul McCartney x Reader)

Words: 3.1k

Warnings: Family Member Death, Parent Death

Summary: You and Paul travel to your parents house for your fathers funeral

A/N: For the purpose of this chapter I’ve decided to add my own names to your family members. It’ll make it easier to follow for you, as well as me. You may also have more family than you do IRL, but this is my story and I choose your fate (lol that sounded dark, but I promise it’s not.) Once again, this is a fanfiction story, so all of this isn’t real. Thank you!

“My dad died.”

The weather seemed to match your mood today. The usual warm summer atmosphere had turned a harsh gray. Thunder rolled throughout the sky while rain poured down. You sat on the porch of your apartment, staring out at the wet weather. Paul had ended up staying overnight, taking care of you. He had also made arrangements for you to travel home to be with your family. To think, just yesterday you were the happiest you had been in a long time, just to have the world turn around and stab you in the back again.

“How’re you feeling?” Paul’s voice startled you. He walked out onto the porch, bringing you a blanket and a cup of hot tea. You shrugged as a response to his question. He let out a soft sigh and sat down next to you, wrapping the blanket fully around your shoulders. It was comforting just to have him near.

“Do you remember when my mum passed?” Paul spoke up after a few moments of silence. You nodded. “And how she left neatly folded clothes on mine and Mike’s bed?” You nodded once again. “What was the last kind thing your dad did for you?”

You thought for a moment. The last time you’d talked to your dad was about a week ago. He had rung to see how things were going. The two of you ended up talking for a solid hour before Mom had to take the phone away. You hadn’t told your parents about reconnecting with Paul. They’d only beg you to marry him, well your mother would try at least.

“Well,” You began but felt the lump in your throat grow in size. You coughed trying to suppress it, before continuing on. “It wasn’t exactly a kind deed, but, we chatted about stuff. Football, the bakery, and then how crazy mom is.”

Paul let out a chuckle, “Your mom is crazy.”

“He then told me he loved me, and was proud of me.” Tears spilled down your cheeks now, there was no point in trying to suppress them anymore. Paul pulled you into his chest as you let out gentle sobs.

“I tried to hide it, but I missed Mum like crazy. I still do.” The man said softly, rubbing your back. “I wish I would’ve told her I loved her more.” You remember how Paul grieved. He threw himself into his music, he distracted himself.

You had managed to stop crying, but still felt that emptiness. The rain pattering down covered the silence that lingered. It was strange to think about death, how one moment that person has a beating heart and blood flowing through their veins. Then the next moment they’re cold and stiff.

“Will you come with me back home? I just don’t want to be alone.” You spoke after a few moments, still resting on Paul’s chest. “My dad always liked you.”

“Of course. It’ll be nice to see your family, given the circumstances.” Paul said, still rubbing your back. You wiped your eyes from the remaining tears and sat up straight, pulling yourself away from Paul. He handed you the still warm tea and you took a sip.

“Would you like to shower before we go?” He asked softly, knowing you’d feel better if you showered.

“Yeah.” You thought for a moment before nodding and standing up, shucking the blanket aside and setting the tea down. Paul followed in behind you and then to your bathroom. He helped ready the towels as well as turned on the water, making sure it was hot enough for you.

“I’ll be outside if you need me.” He spoke softly, kissing your forehead. You bit the inside of your cheek, and watched his figure start to exit the bathroom.

“Wait,” You called faintly. He paused in his tracks and turned back around to face you. “Will you shower with me?”

Paul only stared at you. He could feel a creeping blush crawl up his cheeks and he cleared his throat. “If- If that’s what you’d like, then yes.”

You nodded at him and watched as he shut the bathroom door, leaving you two alone in the increasingly hot bathroom. You begun undressing first, but lost your energy quickly, feeling drained. It had been difficult to do even the most simple tasks all day.

“Would you like help?” He asked gently. You nodded ‘yes’ and sat down on the lid of the toilet. Paul began by taking your socks off first, making a comment about how cold your feet were. He then stood you up and helped take off your pants, followed by cardigan and then shirt. It wasn’t weird or uncomfortable, in fact it was more relaxing. Being a gentleman, he faced the other direction while you took off your underwear and then undressed himself. You climbed into the shower first, relishing the feeling of the hot water. You heard Paul climb in shortly after.

You stood in the stream of the water, the heat of the shower gave you feeling again in your hands and feet. You could feel Paul’s stares on your back, and decided to adjust how you were standing so he could have some of the warm water too. You now faced him entirely, covering your chest with your arms.

“Thank you.” You mumbled, standing closer to him. His hands rested on the sides of you arms as he pulled you in tight for a hug. So there you stood, with your childhood crush, both naked in the shower. If the circumstances were different, this moment would be a lot more enjoyable.

“Kitty, you know I’ll always be there for you.” He spoke so delicately, kissing your wet forehead. He held you close, soaking up your warmth. The water streamed down onto both of your bodies and steamed up into the air. You didn’t know why you asked Paul to stay. Maybe it was because you didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe it was because of how you felt. With each moment you two were together those feelings you tried to suppress always came running back at full speed.

“Thank you.” You spoke up, bringing your eyes up to look into Paul’s. His black hair was pushed back, revealing his face better. Water droplets dripped from his face, down his chest and soaked onto yours.

“For what?” Paul questioned.

“For being there for me. I missed that.” You replied. He smiled softly, kissing your forehead again.

--------------------------

Your shower finished normally. Paul helped wash your hair, and you insisted on helping him, even though he was perfectly capable. It was weird, it hadn’t even bothered you that you had just bathed with your friend. In a non-sexual way. It was more comforting to have him close. You didn't want to be alone. Though, you couldn't deny how intimate it was to be so close and so naked.

The two of you were now on the way to your parents. It was about an hour and a half drive from London to Brighton. Your parents had moved to Brighton from Liverpool shortly after you finished your nurse schooling and moved out. Now your mother resided in their home alone, after nearly seven years in their new home. It saddened you. Though your mother was a strong, stubborn woman, you knew she was still going to be lonely without your father. To think he was only fifty-seven.

“How’re you holding up?” Paul spoke softly, grabbing your hand. The two of you sat in the backseat while Paul’s chauffeur drove.

“I’m a little nervous.” You responded. Truthfully, you were. You felt an array of emotions, but the one that stood out the most was nervousness. You weren’t quite sure why. Was it the fact you had to see your family? Were you confusing guilt with anxiety? Why were you guilty in the first place? You talked with your family often, sure you didn’t visit a lot, but you always made an effort to send gifts and cards on holidays.

“It’s going to be okay.” The man reassured, giving your hand a tight squeeze. “Did you by chance let your relatives know I was coming?”

“No, I didn’t. My cousin Nancy, who was born shortly before you left, is going to freak out.” You lightened the mood a little.

“I remember little Nancy, oh she was only three when we took off.” Paul mentioned, smiling at the thought.

“Well, she’s thirteen now. Going through her very first Beatles phase. Be gentle.” You spoke. Paul chuckled.

You looked back outside the window now. The rain continued, pounding down onto the metal roof of the car. It nearly drowned out the radio. Paul’s hand remained tied with yours. You didn’t know how Paul felt about you. Everyone around probably thought you were both as dumb as doornails. It was obvious that he too had feelings for you; given the events that had taken place over the last few months since you’d reconnected. So why hadn’t you, or him for that matter, taken any steps towards being a couple? Maybe you thought it would just happen, and then one day he’d call you his girl while introducing you to someone.

Paul was scared of getting into another relationship. After Jane, he was crushed. Everyone assumed they were to be married. He thought so too. Until he found her in bed with one of their roadie’s. When the media found out about their split, that detail was left out entirely. To be kept a secret between the three of them. Image ruining, something of that sort.

There was also Linda, a short relationship he'd had after Jane. They dated for a few years before they broke up, due to personal reasons.

However, when it came to you, Paul could imagine the white picket fence, the family car, the food fights, the movie nights. He could imagine growing old with you. Paul was finally realizing that he wanted to be with you, for the rest of his life.

Sometime during the drive, you had fallen asleep; due to the depression and exhaustion of your emotions. Paul looked over at your sleeping form, curled up impossibly and uncomfortably. He unbuckled your seat belt, adjusting your body to lay your head in his lap. You mumbled a few incoherent words, but he only shushed you and you were quick to fall back asleep. His eyes gazed your face, drinking in your features. You still looked as young and beautiful as you were when he left.

He was proud of you. You had made something of yourself, first putting yourself through nursing school, followed by opening your own bakery. It was amazing to him, sure he was a music legend, but you? You were… amazing, incredible, strong- willed. You were you. And he loved that. Paul loved you, with his entire heart and body. Infact, he was in love with you.

“Sorry to bother Mr. McCartney, but we’re nearing the (Y/L/N) residence.” His drive spoke up, speaking softly knowing you were asleep.

“Thank you.” Paul replied. He didn’t want to wake you up, but he knew he had to. At least you had gotten some rest before having to face your family. “Hey, love, we’re close.” He spoke gently, brushing some hair from your eyes. You groaned, and sat up.

“God my neck, don’t let me sleep in a car again. I’m too old.” You said, rubbing your neck uncomfortably.

“I’ll take note.” Paul spoke, amused. Your parents home came into view, along with cars parked out front. You sighed, grabbing your purse as the driver parked. Paul thanked him, and asked him to pick us up again later that evening. You took in a deep breath and made your way up to the door. Paul’s hand found its way to the small of your back, as though he was reassuring that he was there, also pushing you up towards the door.

You quietly knocked on the door. A herd of footsteps could be heard and the door opened to reveal your mother. She looked at you, then her eyes gazed at Paul standing behind you. She took a double take at Paul, and then blinked.

“Come in.” She spoke quietly, not like her usual self. You walked up into the house, Paul close behind. There were a few of your family members sitting in the living room, looking through old family albums. They didn’t bother to raise their heads to look who had just entered. You spotted your Aunt Pauline and Uncle Fred sitting at the kitchen table, tissues in hand. They were your fathers siblings.

“Hi,” You said softly, grabbing their attention. They both looked up and smiled wearily at you.

“Oh, little Sunflower, you made it.” Aunt Pauline spoke, standing up to hug you. You gladly accepted her embrace immediately feeling the warmth she always gave. Aunt Pauline basically raised you, both of your parents worked to help you gather a college fund, as well as your siblings. She gave you the nickname ‘Sunflower’ because of how you were always outside playing in the sunshine as a child.

“How’re you?” You asked, glancing back at Uncle Fred, directing to question to him as well.

“Holding on as best we can.” Pauline answered for Fred. You felt Paul’s hand once again rest on your back. He was so quiet you forgot he was standing there.

“Oh, um, Pauline, Fred, this is Paul. You must remember him from when we were little.” You introduced Paul.

“Paul! I hardly recognized you.” Pauline spoke, smiling warmly at him. Okay, so your family must not pay attention to any form of media.

“You haven’t aged a day.” He spoke, charming your Aunt to blush. She even let out a soft giggle.

“Oh, well,” Pauline cleared her throat before continuing, “Your cousins are in the other room. And, Dear, please be kind to your mother today.” Pauline knew things with your mother were slightly rocky. You nodded at her and grabbed Paul’s hand leading him to the basement. A few of your cousins, and your sister and brother, sat on the couches.

“(Y/N)!” Your sister smiled up at you. Her eyes then looked at Paul behind you. “Oh, my god.”

“Okay, let’s get this over with.” You muttered, walking down the steps fully. “Before someone screams, let’s be civil okay? You all know Paul and I were childhood friends, so today, please, treat him like a human being. We’re here for a reason, to mourn dad.”

“But- That’s-” Your cousin, Nancy, stuttered.

“Yes, Nan, it’s Paul McCartney.” You said, pointing at Paul who was standing behind you. He smiled and nodded at Nancy. She squeaked, but kept her mouth shut. Her knuckles were going white from holding her dress so tightly.

You were the eldest of your siblings, and cousins. It was difficult growing up, always being taught you were the example. That’s why your relationship with your mother was so rocky. She expected you to set a solid example, but when you left nursing to pursue your bakery, she became extremely bitter.

You and Paul sat down next to your sister, Cindy. Your brother, David, sat on the other side of Cindy. It was quiet; mostly because Nancy was still having a heart attack, and your other cousin Brindy was trying to calm her down. It was strange, here you and Paul were, both grown adults, sitting with your cousins and siblings who were much younger than you. You were seven when Cindy was born, and then David didn’t come along until you were ten. Brindy was seventeen, same age as David, and Nancy was your youngest cousin at thirteen. The cousins on your mothers side hadn’t arrived yet.

“How’ve you been?” David leaned forward to look at you.

You shrugged, before answering, “Same old, same old. Bakery, hang out with Paul.”

“And you, Paul?” David asked. David and Paul had always gotten along; Paul loved playing with David when he was little, he was only seven when Paul left.

“You know how it goes.” Paul smiled at David.

The rest of the day went along well. Most of your family didn’t register that Paul was ex-Beatle Paul, they only thought of him as your childhood friend. The funeral service went wonderful, and afterwards just your close family, gathered to have dinner together. Meaning your mother, siblings, you, and finally Paul. You all told stories of your father, some happy, some silly, and few sad. It was good to catch up with your siblings, having not seen them for nearly a year. Towards the end of the night you and your mother were cleaning up dinner; Paul was in the other room telling your siblings stories of his Beatle days, keeping them fully entertained.

“Mom?” You questioned. She stood focused at the sink, scrubbing a clean dish over and over. You could tell she was distraught.

“Yes, dear?” She questioned, still scrubbing. You walked over to her and gently put your hand over hers, to stop her from brushing so hard.

“Are-” You hesitated before taking a deep breath and continuing, “Are you okay? I- I know I haven’t been very present as of late, but-”

“(Y/N), I’m just happy you showed today.” She interrupted your speech. She set down the dish, and shucked off her rubber gloves. You finally got a good look at her. She was worn down, her usual bright eyes were dull today. She had bags under her eyes as well. Her smile lines seemed less deep than usual, meaning she hadn’t smiled in a while.

“I know we haven’t been on the best of terms. But, If you need anything, please call me. I- I can send money home to care for Cindy and David. I can send baked treats.” You paused, grabbing her hands. “Anything.”

“Thank you.” Your mother spoke quietly. She looked defeated. You pulled her in for a tight embrace. The two of you hugged for what it seemed like forever before you released. She kissed your forehead before turning back to washing the dishes, now moving onto a new dish. You took off the apron you had put on to help her clean and walked to the living room where Paul and your siblings sat.

“Are you ready?” You asked Paul. He looked up at you and nodded, with a small smile.

“It has been so lovely to see you two.” He said to your siblings. They each gave him a hug and you and Paul set off on your way back home.

Taglist: @starlight-and-moonshine @tarantinoandmetal @brifilm @yllwtaxi Thank you for reading, my lovelies!

#the beatles fanfic #the beatles fanfiction #paul mccartney fanfic #paul mccartney x reader #the beatles x reader #paul x reader #classic rock fanfic

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mybeautifulimagineplace2 · 6 years ago

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Luke hemmings imagine

Warnings : language

Your pov

I was so sick of lukes ways lately, he never cared about our relationship or his friends anymore, it was all about himself and getting drunk but I never said anything cause I'd knew how it would end so I kept my mouth shut and held it in. Ashton had came over to talk to luke but as normal he wasn't here so I hung out with him until luke got back " how's things with luke" Ashton asked as we watched some random movie, I sighed and thought of the words that I could say " Ash that's a silly question, we all know what he's like lately" I found the words that I had been thinking of, he knew what was going on but we agreed that it was best left un said " why don't you do it him and give him a taste of his own medicine" the drummer said but before I could say anything back the front door opened " y/n you here?" lukes slightly drunk voice called out, I gave Ashton the shut up look before calling out that i was in the living room " oh hey Ash" his eyes travelled to his band mate who was sitting next to me but I could see in lukes eyes that he wasn't happy about it " hey man, just came over to see you but y/n said I could wait here" the older but shorter male answered in a voice that seemed as if he was trying to be careful with his words " oh right, what did you want to talk about" luke asked as he sat next to me on the right side since Ashton was on my left " the guys and I thought that we do more practices since you've missed a few" he nervous answered hoping that my boyfriend or 2 years wouldn't fly off the handle " sounds good" luke gave a quick answer and got up to head to the bedroom " think about what I said" Ash whispered before he left. Maybe he was right I should do it to luke and maybe he'll see what he's doing to me, so the next morning when luke was in the shower I called Ash and asked him to help me give luke what he deserves so we agreed to meet up tonight and show luke I was drunk

I wore

" damn girl, you look fine" Ashton gasped when I showed up looking like that, I had tied my hair up so it wouldn't get in my way, I knew luke was going to be home tonight cause he was spending time with his mum at our place, when Ash and I were will in truly drunk we headed back " honey I'm home" I yelled as I flung the door open, luke was sitting on the couch looking at us with wide eyes " how dare you get my girlfriend drunk" he yelled at Ash as he stood up, before he could even get near him I stood in front of my friend to protect from my boyfriend " luke calm down" I said with a calm voice, even when I was drunk I still had control of what I did " how can I calm down y/n, my girlfriend went out drinking with another guy" he yelled at me but I didn't flinch " Ash I think you should go, I can handle this" I whispered to Ash then I heard his footsteps quickly go to the door " you feel upset and angry cause I seem like I'm not interested in you right" I questioned luke as I stepped over to the chair and took of my jacket to reveal the top that bearly left anything to the imagination " yeah but..." he started but I cut him off " then you know how I feel when you do this.... I can just keep it in better than you" when I said those words he looked like I punched Petunia " babe I'm so sorry" he tried to touch me but I shoved him away " save it luke" I sighed then walked to our room to find the beautiful fat dog laying waiting for cuddles " hi baby" I smiled and climbed in bed with her after I changed into a long t-shirt " you know I love you so much right" I talked to her as she stuck her face right next to mine as I put my arms around her, sometimes I feel like she knew what I was so saying to her and sometimes I would rant to her about luke " your dad is dick" I whispered and smiled at how cute she is " sometimes I wish he was a good listener like you" I talked to her once more before falling asleep

The next morning when I woke up, the cuddly baby wasn't on the bed anymore but the door was half open " cal, I fucked up" I heard lukes voice as I stepped into the hall way, he was obviously in the living room but I didn't know if he was on the phone or give cal was here " she pushed me away when I went to hug her and she never does that" luke spoke again so obviously he was on the phone, I decided to go back to bed and wait for him to be done with his call, I opened to see a message from Ashton

"how did things go, do we still have a forth band member" I laughed at his words obviously he thinks I would do something to luke but I would never do that to someone I love

" yeah Ash he's fine lol" I wrote back and press send, I had known Ash most of my live so we had a good bond but luke and I had an even bigger bond well we did until he started going out but I guess things happen as we get older.. People change. The sound of footsteps came towards the door.. Followed by the sound of piggys paws " hi" luke gave a small smile towards me as he opened the door and the cute chubby baby jumped on the bed to cuddle " hi" I smiled back as best as I could, I was still mad at him " I'm so sorry babe, I didn't realise what I was doing to you until I felt the same" he apologised as he approached the bed with tears in his eyes " that's all I wanted, just for you to see how I felt" I told as I moved over for him to sit beside me " please forgive me, I promise I won't do it again" at his words I could see he meant it " you better keep that promise" I smiled and put my hand on his " i love you y/n" he smiled and wrapped his arms around me "I love you too lukey" I whispered and pressed my lips to his

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings imagine #5sos imagines #5 seconds of summer #5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood

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lavieendonna · 6 years ago

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Brushwork || ArtMajor!Calum AU (Chapter 26)

Summary: An Art Major AU where Dallas - third year gawky art student at VCA - makes a deal with Calum - her cute new neighbour and project partner - and they spend the semester learning that the perfect masterpiece takes a whole lot of brushwork.

Date: 27 October 2018 Requested: lol Pairing: Calum + Dallas Words: 3.1K Warnings: anxiety-ridden family confrontations FTW! A/N: so this is like, what, 4 months late? Or something? But it’s nearly over so please bare with me! Thanks to the one or two people who still read this piece of shit. If there’s no one, well, I feel good for posting this just for myself anyway.

Big Love xo

Ask | Masterlist | ‘Brushwork’ Spotify Playlist | Next Chapter | ‘Brushwork’ News

Chapter 26: Usually When She Looked at Me I Felt Like I Wanted to Throw Up My Insides and Shrivel Up on The Pavement

I honked the horn of Ashton’s car outside of Belle’s flat, immediately regretting it when I realised that it was heading into the late evening and I would have disturbed family dinners all through the neighbourhood. And I knew I did, too, because Belle lived in that kind of area; the kind on the “classy” side of the bridge hat was one hundred percent better (and cleaner) that the student residence where I lived.

Nevertheless, Belle come out of the house swiftly with a duffle bag slung over her shoulder, pausing only to turn around and lock the front door. She was in leggings and her infamous oversized grey hoodie, UGG boots covering her feet, much like me. I breathed a tiny sigh of relief when I realised I hadn’t under-dressed.

“My housemate is a bitch.” She said to as soon as she slumped down into the car, without so much as a proper greeting, throwing her bag into the backseat behind her and borderline knocking me out in the process.

“What’s she done now?” I asked with a grimace, knowing that Belle never really called Nancy names without a reason.

“She ate my Ben and Jerry’s,” Belle huffed as I got ready to back out of the driveway. “and when I asked her about it, she completely denied it! Like, there’s only two of us in the house; who the fuck else was it going to be?”

I sniggered to myself as I tried to imagine how that conversation would have done down.

“Maybe you have an ice-cream-eating ghost haunting your house.” I teased and belle rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, his name’s Little Jimmy and his favourite is strawberry cheesecake.”

I cackled with laughter while Belle seemed to lighten up a little and chuckled.

“Actually, Nancy’s pretty superstitious. If I tell her that she might freak and move out.”

“That’s just evil.” I laughed. “But if it works, it wouldn’t be a total loss, would it?”

“Hell no!” Belle cheered. “How was the Showcase?” She changed the subject, still giggling. I grimaced at the memory, not really wanting to talk about it but knowing that I was way past hiding it from my sister.

“That bad, huh?” She asked gently, noticing my lack of response. I nodded, trying not to sigh but not really succeeding.

“It… sucked.” I summarised.

“Did you pass the mural, at least?” Belle’s voice sounded hesitantly hopeful, I guessed to try and find the light in the total fiasco that was yesterday’s Showcase. I shrugged, the familiar feeling of defeat settling back into my stomach.

“I think so.” I hummed, following it up with a scoff. “But it doesn’t matter, anyway. Calum painted Polly.”

Belle paused, brows furrowing in confusion at the sentence I’d just spouted at her.

“Wait, what?” She made a face. “What do you mean he painted Polly?”

“You know how our designed were based off of ballerinas?” I reminded her, glancing at her quickly to see her nod slowly.

“The ones who didn’t have faces?” She asked and I nodded this time, continuing to steal glances at her while I drove, silently begging her to put the pieces together on her own so I wouldn’t have to say the words out loud. My chest ached a little as I remembered how humiliated I’d felt when the curtain had dropped.

“Whoa.” Belle let out a disgruntled huff. “That’s… that’s fucked. Why would he do that?”

I huffed this time, more out of frustration than anything. Truth be told, I was still trying to decide if I was still angry about it. Part of me was furious and betrayed and was convinced that Calum had done it to spite me. I’d told him about the strife between Polly and I and by painting Polly on the piece we’d worked so hard over felt like a huge slap in the face.

But the other part of me, the part that still cared about Calum, understood where he was coming from. And he was right, Polly had inspired the whole idea to start with. And he was just trying to help me – even though I didn’t deserve his help after everything I’d done.

“He didn’t have much of a choice.” I settled for saying, though I couldn’t tell if the words were a lie or not. They didn’t feel like one. “After our fight the day after the date I ghosted. I didn’t want to face him so he had to finish the mural on his own. I think he was one of the only ones talking to Polly at the time, too, so…” I ended my shitty assumption with another shrug, and Isabelle just nodded slowly. I guessed what I said was fair if even she agreed with it.

We were quiet for almost the rest of the drive, except for the low hum of the radio, as I navigated my way through the inner-city suburbs and headed east towards our mother’s place. I could feel the air grow more and more tense as we both pondered what was to come when we arrived.

“Are you ready? To face her?” Belle was the first to break the silence. I grimace and gave a small, one-shouldered shrug.

“I guess.” I mumbled, but then I scoffed and retracted the statement. “Well, no, I’m not. But we’re kind of past being ready for it aren’t we?”

Belle just murmured her agreement, and when I stole a quick glance at her from the corner of my eye, she looked scared. Terrified, even. The car rolled to a stop at a red light and I took the chance to take her hand and squeeze it quickly.

“You’re going to be fine, you know that right?” I told her with a small encouraging smile. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Belle snorted rather unattractively.

“Uh, she’ll probably bludgeon me to death with an antique vase and force you to help bury my body and keep it a secret until she eventually dies of a heart attack which would mean you’d have to come clean years and years later and you’ll get arrested for being an accessory to murder and get taken away from your family to spend the rest of your life in prison and you’ll never get to see your kids so you’ll die in your cell from a broken heart – and that’s just for dropping law school!”

Belle was wailing, but we were both laughing anyway.

“We’re going to be fine!” I told her again as Mum’s street came into view. “She’s our mum. Shehas to love us – no matter what.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Belle huffed, but she’d gotten some colour back in her cheeks so I knew she believed me – even if it was just a little bit.

I wished I could pinpoint the exact moment Belle and I had switched roles in our relationship. It was a weird feeling, being the “level-headed” one for once. I felt kind of useful as opposed to useless for the first time in what felt like an eternity – and while it did feel a quite nice, I was difficult to get used to.

It was dark by the time I shut off the car in Mum’s driveway. Belle and I made no move to get out, either, both of us too scared to even breath. I swallowed, a lump already forming in my throat.

“We’re, uh. We’re gonna be fine.” I said, though based on the pitch of my voice and how many octaves it jumped I was more so trying to tell myself than my sister. Belle looked at me carefully, fear in her eyes but her face as composed as she could.

“We’re going to get skinned alive, aren’t we?” She asked monotonously and, frankly, it was almost as terrifying as what we were about to walk ourselves into.

“Uh-huh.” Was all I could muster.

I’d never heard my heart beating so loud as it was in my ears in that short walk from the car to the front door of the house. It was pounding in my chest so hard I thought it was about to rip through my ribs and leave a gaping hole for the rest of my organs to fall right out behind it. Belle’s arm brushed up against mine and even though it was just for a second, I could still feel her trembling from the inside out.

“Mum?” I called into the house as my sister and I opened the door and stepped carefully inside. Almost all of the lights were on inside, and despite the lukewarm weather outside, the heater was running, too, with music was trickling through the spaces from somewhere within. This was normal, which was always a good sign with my mother. But the red flag that made my stomach churn even more was that she didn’t respond the second we walked into the house like she usually did.

“Hello?” Belle tried this time. No answer. We shared an incredulous look before we dumped our bags in the front room and started to wander further into the house. The dining room was empty as well as the living room, and she wasn’t in her bedroom – though neither of us expected her to be.

Just when I was about to suggest we check the sun room (where Mum often went to read and pretend she wasn’t journaling while she journaled), Belle stopped in the doorway of the kitchen and shifted on her feet uncomfortably.

“Hey, mum…” She said sheepishly into the room and I sidled up behind her with a tiny, apologetic wave.

“Hi.” I did much the same and, much like vampires – albeit very awkward vampires – we waited in the doorway until Mum decided to invite us further inside.

She was cooking, which was odd. Not that she never cooked for herself, she just seemed to be very into it tonight. Her long dark hair was swept back into a high ponytail that was somehow both messy and elegant at the same time, and she was actually wearing her black metal framed glasses for once. She was wearing a snug black t-shirt and a pair of red flannel pyjama pants, under a red apron that was splattered with flour and various liquids, but her face was still flawless with a killer red lip and hoop earrings. She was scowling, naturally, paused in the middle of the kitchen with a wooden spoon in one hand and the other resting on her hip.

“I didn’t realise you two remembered where I lived.” She deadpanned and usually this was the moment where her eyes would flash wickedly and her nostrils would flare, but tonight she just looked sad and my heart broke a little bit.

“Mum, don’t.” Belle pleaded in a voice no louder than a whisper. She had all but surrendered already and Mum had only spoken one sentence to us – collectively.

“Don’t, what?” Mum challenged, but her voice wasn’t much better. “Be hurt?”

“Please, Mum.” I stepped forward a little, trying as hard as I could to will the tremble in my bottom lip to go away. “Let us make this right.”

“Why?” Mum still fought. “How do I know you two won’t blow me off again?”

“We won’t.” Belle said, a slow and quiet tear trekking down her cheek already. “Mum… Mum, I need you.”

For a moment I really thought Mum was about to kick us out. She was deadly silent for what felt like an eternity, just staring at us – or maybe she was staring through us. Whichever it was, it was uncomfortable and unfamiliar. Mum scrutinising me with words and disappointment was one thing and I’d endured through that more times than I liked to admit. But her scrutinising me with silence and unreadable eyes was probably going to give me PTSD.

Mum gave a small gesture with her wooden spoon to the barstools on the other side of the island counter, and as if we were seven years old again we obeyed. We sat carefully, Mum taking a minute to turn down whatever was cooking and wipe the bit of flour off of her face before she turned back to us with crossed arms, leaning against the opposite counter.

“Is this the part where you tell me you dropped out of law school?” She asked very matter-of-factly. Belle and I stared at her wide-eyed and stunned. How did she even find out about that? She used to tell us all the time that mothers knew everything, but I thought it was just some ridiculous old wives’ tale mums told their kids to scare them into behaving.

“You knew?” I asked her in a squeaky voice, and her dark eyebrows rose at me.

“You knew?” She threw back. “You knew about your sister and didn’t tell me?”

“I –” I didn’t even know how to respond so I sat there gaping like a fish, desperately looking to Belle with hope that maybe she’d thought this through and knew what to say.

“Don’t be mad!” Isabelle begged, sniffing carefully and it was clear it was taking everything she had to keep herself together. Mum blinked at her a little patronisingly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t want me to be mad about you quitting school and not telling me about it?” She hissed and Belle shook her head, taking a deep breath. “Or is it that you don’t want me to be mad that you chose to conspire with your sister against me?”

Belle’s head fell and her shoulders shook and I was wondering if this was how she pictured this going or if it wasn’t going the way she planned at all.

“We weren’t conspiring, Mum.” I said, not loudly and not aggressively, but firmly enough that Mum’s new furious glare was directed at me instead of my mess of a sister. “We were just scared.”

For the first time since the day after our dad’s funeral, Belle and I watched as Mum’s bottom lip quivered like she might cry. She looked away from us, her brain clearly running a million miles an hour. But when she looked back, she just looked hurt and it made me feel like I’d just kicked a puppy.

“I don’t know where you two got the idea that I’m so terrifying,” She said so quietly that I almost missed it. “But it’s doing my head in, I hope you know that.”

She wiped a single tear, and even though it didn’t smudge her makeup even in the slightest, I knew for sure that Belle and I had fucked up. Mum had always made a point of not crying in front of us, especially when we were kids – even beforeour Dad had died. The fact that she was now, even just that one tear, that meant we’d reached the point of no return. She would always hold this with her – even if we did somehow manage to fix this.

“We’re not scared ofyou, Ma!” Belle sobbed in a trembling voice while she dabbed at her eyes with a stray tissue she appeared to have found in her pocket. My eyes prickled with the oncoming tears, my chest tightening as I listened to Belle’s near-hyperventilating. “We were scared of disappointingyou. You invest everything you have into us, you worked your way here for us! Do you know how hard it is for us to try and prove that we’re worth that much?! How hard it is to make sure we don’t fuck this up for you? All we ever want is to make you proud and with Dad gone it’s like we have to work twice as hard.”

I didn’t think Belle intended to bring our father into this conversation, but the second it slipped out it was done and the three of us were all crying. Belle was the only one sobbing hysterically – Mum and I just let the waterworks happen quietly on our cheeks, but we cried. And the more I thought about it, the more I realised that this was probably one of the first times all three of us had cried all at once.

Slowly Mum made her way over to where we sat, abandoning her wooden spoon in the sink and reaching over the counter to wipe at Belle’s cheeks with her thumbs. She didn’t say much for a while and just offered Belle a clean tissue – which, to be honest, I missed where exactly she pulled it from – and she did her best to clean her face. When Mum’s eyes turned to me I just looked down and did my best to wrangle with the stabbing guilt in my gut.

“You girls…” Mum sniffled, and Belle and I stole a quick glance at her. “You’re all I have left. I took what your father left us and tried to build something great... but you’re it. You’re all that matters. You’re all I need.And… and I never, ever wanted you to feel like you weren’t up to par.”

I wiped at my dripping nose on the back of my sleeve ungracefully as I felt myself fall into a shudder of sobs much like Belle had before. Mum sidled over to stand in front of me and reached over to wipe at my cheeks this time. She pulled my face up so she could look me right in the eyes and although my tears blurred my vision almost completely, I could tell that Mum’s eyes were urgent and purposeful.

“You are enough.” She told me carefully and I really thought I might burst at the words. “You’ve always been enough. Both of you.”

She came out from behind the counter and Belle and I practically jumped off of our chairs so that the three of us could envelope ourselves into the most awkward but warm group hug I’d ever experienced in my life.

Belle was still shaking between Mum and I but somehow, I knew that even though we hadn’t mentioned her biggest secret yet, this moment with Mum was enough for her for now. I could feel it, the same way I could feel it was enough for me, too.

Mum kissed us on our faces and temples a million times each before she pulled back to look at us both the way I imagined her looking at us when we were kids. Usually when she looked at me I felt like I wanted to throw up my insides and shrivel up on the pavement, but not this time. This time I just wanted her to squeeze me so hard that I might pop.

“Alright, enough tears.” She said decidedly, wiping her own eyes and walking powerfully back into the kitchen as if this heartfelt moment was just another moment to pass. “Set the table for dinner, will you?”

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leaflovescloud · 4 years ago

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Late night thoughts

Hi there, my safe space.

I’m actually a little tired right now, after a long day at work, not sure if I was being 100% productive, but I guess it’s not too bad. I guess nature cereal really helps.

I just want to spend some time with myself, in this safe space. I guess being able to rely on this safe space kind of gave me some form of relieves as well. Like it is the only space where I can air out my thoughts without being judged, without any defensive reply, without having to be hurt / vulnerable.

Other than relationship, I think I’m also seriously worrying about my future. I guess I really just don’t know if law is for me. I do enjoy doing it, sometimes I guess. But I really don’t see myself doing it every single day for the next few years, I know I will be worn out for sure. The amount of dedication and attention that I have to commit, it’s tiring. And I’m not sure if I would like try out in house either.

Que sera sera.

I will just listen to the universe, follow where it leads me. Sounds very submissive huh? Because I really don’t know what I should do.

Maybe I should start by exploring my interest, then I realized I have none LOL. I’m just a really boring person, I guess.

And one thing I find it a little unhealthy is that - I pretty much find my value through working harder and performing well. Not sure if I should put such heavy reliance on it but that’s what it is at this point.

So say if one day I’m not working anymore, it is very likely that I may think that I’m unworthy and of no value, which I really don’t think I should have this kind of mindset.

With that being said, I really hope I can find my worth, not only through work, but also from the within, I want to be able to love myself, like every single part of myself. Also, I wish I could be more confident in time to come, which I find myself slowly improving. I started to voice it out more, share my thought even though there is a chance that I’m wrong. But it doesn’t matter even if I am, it actually makes me learn better as well.

Speaking about work, I’m really worried about cash flow as well. At least I really don’t want to be in a situation where I chew more than I can bite. I know with the upcoming liabilities / burden in my new studio and car, it’s gonna cost me a chunk of cash. For this, I really wish I can be more mindful in my spending and money would find its way to me. I guess I need to do some planning, but I have no one to go to.

And yeah, sometimes I wish I’m born in a wealthy household, with a silver spoon and clothe with privilege. But I guess I’m not complaining as well, the fact that I’m not. I’m forever grateful for what I have, I know it must be very hard for my parents to raise both of my sister and I. They literally started from zero and no matter how hard the situation is, they tried their best to support us. At least for my time, I think I was a bit fortunate as my parents had one less burden of their shoulder, when my sister graduated university.

I had the opportunity to travel overseas with them. We have been to Taiwan, Shanghai and Eastern Europe. All these, are not something that had ever appeared in my mind before because I simply knew we are not going to afford it. More so, my mum being so tight on her own finances, actually paid for my trip to New Zealand, just to make sure that I will be happy.

Sure, in many aspects, they are not the best parents ever. But I simply do not blame them. They didn’t have the opportunity to experience different cultures where their mindset are pretty much still in the 80s. And that’s okay. Deep inside, I just know they love me very much even though it may not be that form of love that I’m seeking for. But I just understand, I just understand.

All I’m asking for is for both of them to be healthy and happy. To be at least contented with their life, to be able to live together peacefully. It has been a long way.

For me myself, I see myself growing up as well. I’m already 26 years old this year. Time indeed flies. I have learned a lot, in terms of work, life and relationship.

For work, I don’t know, I feel like at this point, I’m just fortunate because I don’t have to work for certain people. The challenges will come when I am to work for those people again. I really don’t like when I’m being bullied by them. Because this toxicity at work place simply should not exist and should not be condoned. But things got a little bit out of control because nobody is doing something. Anyways, the way they handle things or even treat their colleagues / staff just say so much about them. And I vowed not to follow their footsteps and I aspired to make a change about it. Perhaps my vision may not overcome it all, certainly, some people will take advantage, but at the very least, I wish to create a comfortable working environment to all, where everyone is treated with respect. We are now in 21st century, superiority should not be an excuse to torture your co-worker. We should have similar goals, which is to act in the best interest of our company and to get things done. I’m really manifesting this with the hope to make a change. And I hope the universe will lead me to where I belong.

For life / relationship. Sure, I’m undergoing some difficulties right now. Not sure if the situation is worsen because of the MCO, but yeah, things have been difficult. But I guess at the same time I am also just trying to work on myself, and be more understanding. At this point, I’m just holding on, but again, I don’t see myself with this person in the future. There is just this thing where I just don’t, feel it and see it. The level of comfort is not there anymore. Every time I am just thinking “Am I doing this right?” “Am I saying the right thing?”. Essentially, I’m just not myself anymore.

Whatever I do, for example like being a little ‘manja’ just made me feel unnecessary, because I’m not sure what is the receiving end thinking. This is really bad LOL. I guess that’s why, I just don’t do anything anymore, because it’s not that what I do is what he needs anyway. My way of expressing love is simply not what he needs.

And if i were to put myself in his position, I would be struggling as well. Because not able to get your desire fulfilled and basically not able to be contented emotionally. I didn’t realize how these factors play a huge role in a relationship, but now I do and I accept it.

And I said many times, I used to think love overcomes it all, but it simply doesn’t. There are just too many factors that play a huge role as well and it’s not for me to overlook it. I was too simplistic, certainly. I would like to work on myself , but unfortunately, not with Chris. He deserves better. I don’t think at my level I will be able to fulfill what he wants.

The day is getting closer. Slowly, it will be the end of July and it will be time for me to bid goodbye to all these.

I guess quite apart from what I have with Chris, it’s a bit difficult to just leave his parents and brother. They have been quite a part of our relationship where they genuinely treat me like their own daughter. More importantly, they were there for me during my lowest time. It’s just difficult, because I will forever owe them. And I am really unsure of how I’m going to repay them.

Dear Universe, I leave it to you. If you do think we are a good fit for each other, I believe you will do your magic and lead us to the right path.

Let’s talk about my mental health.

Quite apart from relationship issues, I think I have been healing quite effectively. Honestly, I didn’t think I will be able to leave all those memories behind so quickly. I guess in a way, going back to the office did speed up the process. Even though I went back to the office for different reasons which I shall not dwell on that. Right now, I’m able to think of the incident with a rather calm and accepting mind, and focusing on the positive side of things, i.e. I am still alive, I am healthy, I am able to move around and walk again etc. I guess in this sense, I’m truly grateful because I simply can’t imagine if things go otherwise. For this, I would like to believe that the universe is trying to convey a message to me. Of course, what the message is, it depends on what I have deciphered. May be it’s one of those things:

(i) Life is short, very short. Live your live and don’t ever do things that you will regret one day.

(ii) Live everyday as if it is your last. Cliche as it sounds, but for far too many times, I just thought, ‘What if it took my life that night?’

(iii) Be cheerful and live life with a purpose.

(iv) Be strong and protect yourself.

(v) To express your love, not in the way best suited myself, but also to understand from the other side, what do they need.

(vi) What I think it’s okay may not be okay for the other person.

Oh ya, I thought of another issue - me being emotional unavailable. I’m not sure its actual definition in real life but I guess I fit most of the criteria, i.e. being evasive and have the tendency to run away from problems.

I guess my old defence mechanism works when I’m single, but surely it doesn’t work when I have another person to account to as well. I used to just shut down, and it helps and it works because in any event, it won’t cast any effect on third parties.

And perhaps, I should not have the unrealistic expectations that someone, especially my boyfriend should always be responsible of my own emotion. That would lead to co-dependent relationship, which is unhealthy.

Probably there are still a few more, but for the purposes of tonight, that should be it. And I feel so much better, like, I feel nice doing it especially before sleeping. It’s like a mind decluttering exercise. And I feel peaceful. A little bit contented.

Lastly, I pray that this covid situation will be better soon, please.

0 notes

tiemeupspidey · 8 years ago

Text

Fucking Idiot

Series: Dog Mom Life

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: Cute Fluffness & Swearing

(you should know by now that I swear all the time in my imagines lol)

Word Count: 1,000

A/N: Sorry I posted this late but I love you all!! I really wanted to type something about his nose getting broken for a second time.

me working on future posts like v

[Reader’s POV]

Today you were walking Tessa out in town for a little while. You needed to be out and about since it was healthy for the baby. Of course people snapped pictures which made you uneasy without Tom. One man came close and Tessa barked at him to make him go away. She was protecting you and the baby.

You had an hour before Tom’s flight would land so you thought this opportunity would be great. Harrison wasn’t responding to your messages since he told you to stay off of social media. His warning was it could harm the baby if I got stressed. Of course you wanted to look but you took Harrison’s word for it.

“Hey your Tom Holland’s wife right?” a teenager asks coming up to you and Tessa. Giving her a smile you nod.

“Can I please take a picture with you?I-I mean if you don’t mind, My friends will never believe me” She gushes pushing up her glasses. Freckles adorned her cheeks, your heart wanting your daughter to be sweet as this.

“Of course love get your phone out” She pulls her phone out of her bag while you tell Tessa to sit. She angles the camera so all of you are in the frame. Tessa’s tag was wagging and hitting your ankle.

“Thank you so much! You’re going to be a great mum, Tom is lucky to have you! Bye Tessa, tell Tom Roxy says Hi!” she waves before walking down the street. Her backpack bouncing as she ran towards the bus that pulled up to the curb.

“Alright Tess let’s go stop at the store real quick and pick something up yeah?” Tugging her leash a bit we head towards a grocery store. Thinking you wouldn’t get too much because you had to carry it all back.

[Tom’s POV]

“Mate how bad is it? Do you think she’s going to freak out?” I ask Harrison opening up the camera on my phone. Looking at my reflection I cringe at the sight. My gaze moving to Harrison with fear in my eyes.

“Dude it’s so bad, she’s going to flip her shit… you know it’s going to be worse since she has all those extra hormones thanks to the baby…” Harrison laugh before looking back at his phone. Rolling my eyes I feel a pain of guilt from lying to her.

Recently she texted me asking if everything was okay because of what Harrison said to her. Yet in reality everything is not okay. My face is swollen, it’s bruised and sensitive to the touch. I couldn’t even cover it with makeup. I miserably failed at trying to cover it up and just gave up in general.

I FaceTimed her before I broke my nose on set that day. We were wrapping up week two of Chaos Walking and I fucked up again. My fans gave me so much shit for it. Literally a walking meme,I saw so many memes about me. I still get teased about not saying croissant right. Quackson will forever be the meme of my existence.

“I told her not to check social media so she wouldn’t stress out because I’m not losing my goddaughter to you being careless on set Tom” Harrison remarks sending a quick glare to me. Harrison hasn’t looked at me like that before.

“You’re exaggerating, I couldn’t possibly cause that” I deny looking at Harrison as if he was insane. Me be the cause of my daughter’s death?

“It’s possible Tom, women who are pregnant and go through high amounts of stress can lead to a miscarriage.. I swear I’ve done more research than you mate” his tone laced with seriousness but teasing me. I couldn’t tell if he was more serious than teasing me.

“Shut it Harrison, I’m the father of this baby.. I’m supposed to know more here” I say pulling my phone out of my jacket pocket. Opening up my instagram and taking a scroll through. Another text message pops up on my notification bar.

Love of my LIFE:

Tom are you sure everything's okay?

You:

Yeah everything’s fine love, see you in a few hours.. Give Tess a kiss for me and I’ll see you tonight for dinner with the family since I’ll only be home for two days..

Love of my LIFE:

Met one of your fans today, Her name is Roxy and she says hi! I’ll make sure dinner is ready for everyone tonight. Love you xx

[Reader’s POV]

“C’mon love let’s head inside so we can get ready for everyone coming over..” Ushering Tessa to walk into the house. Carrying the bags inside the house and setting them down real quick. Standing back up straight you lock the door behind you.

Leaning down to reach for the bags and groaning because you can’t reach them. Squatting down and grabbing the bags. Swearing underneath your breath because now you can’t stand back up. Placing your hand on the door handle you manage to pull yourself up somehow.

Tessa walks by tilting her head looking at you struggling. A laugh escapes your lips cause she looks so damn cute. Tom was normally the one to help you up but now that he’s been gone filming it’s been harder. You’ve had to adapt to doing things without him around.

“I wish you could be human sometimes” you sigh once you’re fully situated and not feeling off balance. You were currently three and a half months pregnant and luckily your bump wasn’t huge. Your mother had a huge bump but luckily so far you haven’t exploded.

Time went by quicker than you thought as you made dinner in the kitchen. In between everything you set up the table with the essentials. Setting wine glasses out for Tom, Nikki, and Dom. You couldn’t wait to have alcohol again but that wouldn’t be for a while.

Stirring the sauce in the pan and a separate sauce in case anyone had an allergy to mushrooms. You couldn’t remember which of the twins couldn’t have it so you just made two sauces. Paddy preferred marinara sauce but he called it “Red Sauce.” You never made Quinoa because Tom was sick of it ever since he could only eat that on a diet he had for a film.

You were turning into a mom and were remembering what people liked and didn’t liked. Only reason is because you’ll have to do that when your daughter is born and as she grows up. Your phone starts ringing making you come back to reality. Taking it off the charger you answer it bringing it up to your ear.

“Ello love, we just picked up Tom so we’ll be there in an hour okay? Traffic got crazy because of the fans knowing Tom was coming home”she explains through the the conversations going on in the background. You could hear Sam and Harry insulting each other and Paddy’s laughter.

“You two knock it off! Your mum is on the phone” Dom’s voice stern making the car go silent. Nikki thanks him for getting them to be quiet.

“That’s fine Nikki, I just have to finish the pasta and another dish so everything should be ready by then” your hands busy as the vegetables are being cut.

“I love you Darling! Ow Paddy stop!” you hear Tom’s voice in the background making you smile. Paddy is probably doing something and probably pinched Tom. Not thinking much of it you say I love you too before hanging up.

[Tom’s POV]

“Your face is fucked” Sam snickers pulling out his phone from his pocket. He takes a quick picture making me upset.

“Fuck you Sam, I’m already scared as it is..”

“Yeah scared of your pregnant wife” Harry’s laughter is joined by Sams. Rolling my eyes from their annoying comments.

“Tom did you not tell her about your nose?” Paddy asks re zipping his jacket up. Nodding my head Paddy’s eyes widen.

“But.. Tom lying isn’t nice” I was getting chastened by my youngest brother, great.

“If she swears at you I won’t be surprised” my mum turns in her seat to look back at me. Guilt growing in my chest, thanks everyone.

“Mum.. I was just trying not to freak her out” I defend myself huffing a breath out looking away from her gaze.

[Reader’s POV]

Sighing in content when everything was done. Tessa was roaming around the kitchen looking for food that may have fallen. Heading up the stairs carefully towards our bedroom. I go to the closet to change my outfit since it had flour on it.

You spilt flour on yourself when trying to make cookies for the boys but mainly Paddy. He loved the cookies you made and would come over sometimes to make them with you. The boys would come over to check on you and the baby when they could. His brothers have such a sweet side to them when they aren’t messing with Tom.

Pulling another pair of maternity leggings on and grabbing a tank top out of the dresser after. Going to the closet you pick out a gray cardigan and slip it onto your arms. The fabric warming you up, the draft in the house made you chilled. Another reason why you missed Tom being home because he is so warm at night.

Looking at yourself in the mirror and turning to the side. A smile on your face as you see your bump, it’s so damn cute. Heading out of the room you head back downstairs. Tessa following you everywhere you went. She was like your own personal guard dog when you were home alone.

Tom’s voice comes from the foyer of the house. Reaching the last step with Tessa she jumps over to Tom. Nikki walking in with some flowers, a smile on her sweet face. Dom walks in waving at you before taking his jacket off. Looking back at Tom’s face you see his skin around his nose is bruised and swollen.

“Thomas what happened to your face?” You ask placing your hands on your hips. He slowly looks up from Tessa giving you a small smile. Sam and Harry coming in , their conversation ending.

“I uh.. Fuck. I broke my nose on set darling” Tom explains making panic flood through your system.

“You fucking idiot, that’s the second time you’ve done that.. You lied to me what the hell” annoyance in your tone but who are you kidding? You weren’t that surprised he broke it again.

“Fucking idiot” Sam and Harry say simultaneously making Tom groan. The boys laugh high fiving each other. Paddy stumbles in looking at everyone laughing at Tom.

“Hey, what did I miss?” he asks, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. Nikki ruffles his hair trying to stifle her laughter.

“Let’s just say Tom learned his lesson for lying” she explains leaning down and kissing Paddy’s head.

“Alright everyone go serve yourselves, food is in the kitchen.. Also Paddy I made some cookies for you” you smile over at him. He takes off towards the kitchen followed by Sam and Harry.

“Tom why did you lie to me?” you ask stepping down from the stairs. He stands up walking over to you once everyone is in the kitchen.

“I was embarrassed okay? I’m really sorry love.. Can you forgive me?” Tom’s eyes looked pained and you felt bad. Ugh these hormones flip on and off like a switch.

“I can forgive you, but you have to put an ice pack on that right now.. Don’t be stubborn or else” You point your finger at him sternly. Pecking him on the lips you then take him to the kitchen.

Going into the kitchen you walk over to the fridge. Opening the freezer you grab a bag of peas out. Handing them to him he puts the bag on his nose wincing. Laughing at how silly he looked with the bag on his face. It was good to see him home even if it was just for a little while.

“I love you” a smile on your face as you looked at Tom. He takes his free hand grabbing one of yours.

“More than yesterday?” He asks with a cheeky grin. Rolling your eyes you nod.

“Yes Tom, more than yesterday” His smile always making your heart flutter. Your love for him grows more and more each day.

699 notes · View notes

walkmeblowbyblow · 7 years ago

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Thawing [Jack Lowden fic]

Summary: Of course it’s still early days; too early for her to be asking him to spend Christmas with her.

Warnings: Sex (though there’s considerably more plot than p0rn in this one... sorry guys lol)

Word count: ~2,700

Disclaimer: None of this really happened.

A/N: I'll just keep blessing cursing you people with fics. This is part of the same story as The Kind of Trouble that You Enjoy.

Christmas is coming too soon – or so it seems to her.

Suddenly everyone’s making plans – plans on where to go for Christmas and who to spend it with.

Her mum messaged her yesterday, asking the very same thing. She said she didn’t know yet; which was partly true, partly stalling for time.

“So, Eilidh,” Rebecca says to her when they’re out shopping one day. “Any plans for Christmas? Going over to your parents’ again?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, probably,” she answers.

“Yeah, me too. My sister is coming as well. Haven’t seen her in ages.” Then, after a minute or two, Rebecca adds, “Have you spoken to Jack recently?”

She flushes hot, her heart skipping a beat or two. She quickly considers her options – whether to pretend she doesn’t know which Jack Rebecca is on about (as if she knew that many) or to tackle the subject head-on.

“Um, what do you mean?” she asks, feigning innocence.

Rebecca pauses, grinning at her. “I think you know what I mean.”

She opens her mouth to speak, but nothing intelligible comes out.

Rebecca drops her voice when she says, “We saw you two leaving the pub together last year, remember? And then you ditched me in the middle of my birthday party last month!”

“We didn’t… look, I’m sorry I had to leave, but…” she says, but it’s no use.

“So it’s not official, then?” Rebecca says, this time more compassionately. “Ugh, men and their commitment phobia. I always thought Jack would be different.”

“Okay, will you stop? Please?” she snaps – but only because Rebecca has hit the nail on the head.

She and Jack haven’t seen each other since that day last month when they decided to give it a go. Of course she knew very well what dating Jack would entail, and she’s been in long-distance relationships before, so it’s not like she had no clue what she was entering into. But it’s been a weird month, only communicating through WhatsApp. And whether she likes to admit it to herself or not, the oncoming Christmas is making her even more insecure.

Still too broken up from her previous relationships, evidently.

Not only that, but she hasn’t told her friends yet that she’s broken up with Daisy – and if Rebecca knows, she’d rather Rebecca be upfront about it than make insinuations.

“You’re imagining things,” she says to Rebecca. “We’re just friends, me and Jack.”

Rebecca has picked up on the change of mood. “Right. So, um, d’you know if he’s coming over anytime soon? We could gather at mine on Hogmanay.”

She shrugs, blushing even more deeply. “I dunno. You’d better ask him.”

She thinks she sees a look of comprehension on Rebecca’s face, but maybe she’s just imagining things.

* * *

The following day she’s just got back from work when her mum calls her, asking her if she’s made up her mind yet.

“Well, I’m done with work by the 22nd. So the next day, maybe?”

She definitely wants to go home and see her parents, but it means giving up the false hope that she might see Jack over the holidays.

Of course it’s still early days; too early for her to be asking him to spend Christmas with her. Even if it’s just one day. It didn’t even have to be Christmas, just any day over the holidays. But it’s a bit too much to ask, especially since Jack has been so busy all year. He would want to go and see his family.

“You’re not spending Christmas with Daisy?”

Her heart stills at the mention of her ex.

“Um, no,” she replies as neutrally as she can.

“It’s fine if you are, love…”

“I’m not, mum,” she says curtly. She tries to change the subject, turn it into a joke; she’s not in the mood to be questioned. “I’m coming over and there’s nothing you or dad can do to stop me.”

“Lovely! But really, if you’d rather spend it with friends…”

“No, mum, it’s okay. I haven’t seen you in ages.”

And so it’s agreed. She’ll spend the Christmas with her parents.

Her phone beeps the second she puts it down on the table.

A picture of a street turned white with a layer of powdery snow.

“A wee bit chilly.”

It’s snowing in London.

She studies the photo and feels thoroughly warm, being remembered like this. But this time the warmth passes much too quickly.

“Pretty. No snow here.” Then she adds, “Keep warm.”

“It should be me saying that tae ye :P”

She gives a snort.

“Oh please :P”

There’s a brief moment when she feels reassured, brave even; she decides to broach the subject. Whatever Jack’s answer, at least she will know.

“Any plans for Christmas?”

His answer is prompt.

“Might head home. Ye?”

Her hands trembling, she types back: “Dunno. Kind of wish I could see you.”

Her pulse racing, she waits for his reply.

“Can’t make any promises, luv. Sorry.”

* * *

That’s that then – a much needed reminder that she has her own life to lead and see to. The two weeks leading up to Christmas pass by like a breeze, with her trying to get everything sorted at work before her holidays start.

The day before she’s set to go home, she’s packing her backpack when she hears a car pulling up outside her flat.

Nothing unusual about that. But then the doorbell rings. She springs to her feet, approaches the door hesitantly.

Her belly flips as she opens the door – just the person she wanted to see but didn’t expect to.

Jack throws an arm around her while she can merely stand there, frozen to the spot.

“What’re you doing here?”

“Didn’t you get my message?” Jack asks, frowning.

“Your… no!” she says, and explains, “I needed some peace and quiet.”

Jack gives an amused hum.

“Sorry to be intruding on your peace.”

“You’re not,” she replies.

“I’m not what?”

“Sorry.”

They grin at one another.

She nuzzles his chest, laughter bubbling out of her. He plants a kiss on the top of her head.

“You shouldn’t have,” she mutters.

“Oh yes I did,” he murmurs into her hair.

She pulls away from the hug. “You must be tired.”

“Just a little,” he admits, sounding a little apologetic.

“It’s okay,” she assures, and takes him by the hand. She leads him into her flat, to her bed to be exact, and no, she doesn’t mind his tiredness one bit.

They wake up from their nap about an hour later. The flat feels chilly, but she’s fine as long as she’s under the same blanket as he is, curled up on his side. He fell asleep reluctantly, and now she has no heart to wake him. She runs a cautious hand through his hair, inhales his scent. It’s so intoxicating that she knows this is where she ought to be.

When his eyes finally open, he murmurs, “How long was I out?”

She shakes her head. “Doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me. I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”

“I don’t mind. Sleep is nice.”

Jack grins. “Well, if you say so.”

He lowers his head on her chest. It feels nice and heavy – so real, somehow.

After a minute of silence, she says, “I wasn’t sure if I should ask you. I mean, if it’s too soon.”

“It wasn’t,” Jack replies. “But, erm… I can’t actually stay for Christmas. I’m going home.”

“Oh, it’s okay, I’m going home too. Tomorrow,” she tells him.

“So we’ve got till then?”

“Yeah.”

Jack sticks his tongue out playfully. “I think we’ll find ways to pass the time.”

She giggles. “I think so too… wait, it’s snowing!”

She sits up sharply, throwing Jack’s head off her chest. While Jack is nursing the back of his head, which he bumped into the headboard, she studies the scenery, her face an inch from the window.

“I think you brought it with you,” she remarks to Jack.

“What, like a bloody harbinger of doom?”

She snorts. “No! I love snow!”

She stares out wistfully, then turns to Jack. “Wanna go for a walk?”

In answer, he wraps his arms around her, gently rubs his forehead against her ribcage.

“I wanted to have you here. In bed.”

With a warm, enticing smile, she says, “You can have me like that later. Come, let’s go.”

Jack agrees with this arrangement.

When they step outside ten minutes later, the streets have a pristine white cover. The world immediately seems little quieter. The loudest sound is the crunch of the snow under their feet as they set off towards a hill overlooking the city.

The silence between them is companionable; Jack’s presence agreeable. But when their hands bump, she withdraws hers.

“You can hold my hand if you want to,” Jack whispers to her, smiling encouragingly.

She comes to a halt without even realising. “Oh, aye, I… it’s not that,” she stammers.

“Okay?” Jack replies, perplexed by her reluctance. He offers her his hand again. “Feeling shy, are we?”

She hesitates for a moment, then reaches out and takes it. It feels nice. Safe.

They walk in silence for a moment, taking it all in.

“I’m not used to this,” she explains, pointing at their joined hands. “That’s why I was so…”

“But haven’t you… Oh.” She can tell by his tone that Jack understands.

“Yeah. It’s a bit different, walking hand in hand with another woman.”

“It’s fine, we don’t have to hold hands or anything,” Jack says quickly, loosening his grip on her hand. She grips back even more tightly.

“Nah,” she says, “Gotta make the most of dating a man.”

He gives a gentle laugh, which she partakes in.

And when they arrive on top of the hill (an arduous climb, as usual – good thing she goes to the gym as often as she does), looking down at the city spreading below them, she slips an arm around Jack’s waist, rests her head against his chest. His frame is strong, reliable, warm. There was a time when she wasn’t this comfortable with men, and she still mostly isn’t, but Jack is an exception.

She feels his gaze on her, contemplative.

“You can always talk to me about it – if you want to,” he says.

She shakes her head. “No, it’s all right.”

She doesn’t want to ruin the moment. The low-hanging cloud rolling over the city, snowing. Hundreds of lights defying the night.

But she will tell him one day. She will be honest with him, honest and fearless, tell him things she’s never even told her friends. Her friends know her too well and she doesn’t want to upset their versions of her. Jack doesn’t know her yet, not really; he won’t ask, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

* * *

It’s incredible how fast the flurry of snow turns the world white. She doesn’t even mind the fact that the snow has started melting and the pavements are swimming in slush by the time they head back to hers. It’s one of those rare moments when she’s sure that nothing can dampen her spirits.

Then she hears a voice calling out her name.

“Eilidh?”

Her hand springs free from Jack’s and she whips around. It’s Rebecca, hands full with shopping bags and a mouth hanging open.

“Oh, erm… I didn’t mean to… I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Rebecca stammers, mortified – and she’s not the only one.

“Eilidh,” Jack says quietly, instantly sussing the difficulty of the situation. “Want me to… I’ll go and wait over there…”

“Yeah, okay,” she mumbles back, then turns to her friend.

“Look,” she begins, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about…”

“I knew I was onto something!” Rebecca says. She’s not mad, mostly just pleased with herself. “You could’ve just told me, you know?”

She shrugs shyly, resisting the urge to glance at Jack for support. “You have to promise not to tell anyone just yet.”

“So you’re not going steady?”

She feels her face flushing hot.

“Is it because of Daisy?”

“What? Oh, no, I mean, we broke up… a while back.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured. I’m sorry,” Rebecca says, and clearly means it. “You two were cute together.”

“Yeah, well…” No, it’s better if she doesn’t try and explain. She spent a year pining after Jack, and Daisy was emotionally unavailable as well. It was for the best.

“Just the usual male hesitation, then?” Rebecca suggests.

She nods conspiratorially. “You’re not mad at me, are you?” It just sort of slips out, that childish question.

“What? No!” Rebecca says.

“Can you keep this a secret? Until I’ve… we’ve sorted it all out?”

Rebecca nods. “Aye, of course.”

They seal the deal with a hug.

When she walks back to Jack, a huge weight has been lifted from her shoulders. Jack, by contrast, looks nervous.

“This wasn’t exactly how I wanted to break the news… Shit,” he mutters. “It’s like we’re going behind their backs…”

“Rebecca’s fine with it,” she tells him. “Or at least will be, once the shock’s worn off.”

She fixes Jack with a scrutinising stare. Is he just nervous because they got caught this way? Or because he’s really not that serious about their relationship and it’s awkward that they got caught at all?

“I guess I might as well tell ‘em,” he says. “Our friends.”

Relief rushing in, she asks softly, “What were you waiting for?”

“I just thought…” Jack begins, “that you’d probably want to be the one to tell them… on your own terms. You know, considering…”

Her heart has started racing; she feels warm all over.

“What were you waiting for, eh?” Jack asks her.

“Me? Oh, I don’t know… probably trying to protect the privacy of my film star boyfriend,” she snarks, but can’t help but smile.

She thinks she sees Jack blushing, though it’s hard to tell since his cheekbones are already pink with cold.

“Well, much appreciated,” he answers.

“You too,” she says, and they burst into laughter.

Suddenly she can’t wait to get home with him.

When she’s let them into her flat, they spend a minute dusting snow off their jackets. Then, all of a sudden, Jack presses his lips to her hair. He helps her out of her jacket, fingers grazing the nape of her neck.

And with that touch alone, the air is instantly electrified. Her skin goosepimples, aches to be touched more. And when she slips her arms around Jack’s neck, going for a kiss, Jack lifts her up and carries her to bed. They leave a trail of giggles in their wake.

While freeing him of his clothes, she thinks about how he’s the most precious present she’ll unwrap this Christmas.

She pauses suddenly. “Oh God.”

“What?” Jack asks, anxious.

“You didn’t buy me a present, did you?” she says.

“No? Should I have?”

“Oh, thank God. No, I just don’t like that whole compulsory gift-giving thing,” she explains. “Carry on.”

Jack grins. “Right.”

He lays her down, kissing her skin while revealing it – belly, breasts, thighs. And finally his fingers find their way to where it matters the most. She’s taken aback by how good he is, how he remembers; no mean feat, considering that they’ve only had sex a couple of times.

“Come here,” she mumbles, and Jack leans over.

She grabs his head, kisses him. They stay like that until she moans into his mouth. He retracts his fingers, positions himself on top of her and between her legs. She traces her fingers across the expanse of his back, and when he starts to tense, cups his face into her hands, ready to swallow his moans in turn.

The chill of her room feels nice for a change when they lie there catching their breaths, the sweat on their skin cooling. She has her head on Jack’s chest this time. The steady rise and fall of it will probably lull her to sleep sooner or later. Her gaze is directed at the window; it’s got dark in her flat; outside, little snowflakes flit past in the streetlights.

She wants to tell him how happy she is, but words are so inadequate she’d rather forgo them.

“You know what?” she says. “I changed my mind about the gift-giving.”

“Oh?” Jack says, his voice low.

She rolls onto her side, towards him, a smile playing on her lips.

#jack lowden #jack lowden imagine

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tumblunni · 7 years ago

Text

Random list of still WIP npc charries I need to make for this game, yo

* Mayor Grandma The Ultimate

Not actually anyone’s grandma but like... Everyone’s Grandma. That whole ‘village elder as a goddamn force of nature’ kind of character. She’s the Big Good. She’s this tiny unassuming gran who had a history as a legendary hero and is now the super amazing mayor who can solve goddamn anything and defeat any threat against the village and just... HOLDS US ALL WITH HER GRUMPY LOVE I’m imagining her like the protagonist’s gran in The Wee Free Men, or Granny Weatherwax from other discworld books, or the grandma from Summer Wars, or the grandma from Jade Cocoon 1 who even turned out to be literally the deity of badass grandmas who came down into mortal form to slap the shit out of some fools. (The “grim midwife of life and death” is a really fucking badass title)

Anyway she isn’t actually technically the ‘mayor’, she’s just like.. village elder under old country rules, but Regis is the duke that was sent down to Officially be ruler of this province. Officially. It’s just that absolutely everyone knows that the duke is just a figurehead and Ancient Powerful Gran Of The Old Ways is the real power behind this well-oiled machine of a town. Even Regis knows, lol! The previous duke was a total asshole that got served a slice of humble pie by gran and they were fighting at every turn, but now Regis and Mortimer are the Comparatively Less Stuck Up Noblefolks and the town is better off for it. Still, even if Regis isn’t evil like his brother, he’s still a bit foppish and occasionally stupid about what it actually takes to run a town. So they do come into conflict sometimes, but mostly its like BFFs quarrelling instead of the old Shephard Grandma Brings The Wrath of The Heavens Upon Rich Man No Matter How Many Rich Man Guards He Has, Seriously We Found One Of Them Upside Down On Top Of The Roof How Did That Even Happen

And then also i think that she might have a larger role in Blair’s plot cos Blair is kinda like the new Village Hero In Training. But she’s INTENSELY reluctant about it! Not cos she doesn’t like being buff as fuck and punching through walls, but because she doesn’t think she could ever be better than supergran. Cos like.. “yeah I’ve got the muscles but I don’t have the brains, how could I ever cope without you?” She gets really fucking sad at the very idea that supergran might be retiring, and like.. might die someday. So it’s someone who’s clearly qualified for the role repeatedly rejecting it and bringing up more and more perfectionist excuses why she isn’t ready yet, just because she cares so much for her mentor figure and wishes she could fight the tide of time. And that’s how Blair became the Miss Perfect rival type character, and why she’s so humble and oblivious of her own strengths. Also I think this same plot would have links to mortimer and sorrel too, because there was An Event that happened 15 years ago that was what caused mayorgran to start feeling as if she’d hit her limits and the town needs a new Hero. Apparantly ~something~ happened that was like.. the one time mayorgran ever found a problem she couldn’t solve. And also at that time mortimer and sorrel used to be childhood friends, since they’re cousins, but suddenly sorrel’s mum fell in status amoung the noble family and there was a huge upheaval of the town’s status quo. What exactly is this mystery...?

ALSO! she must have a big hat i just want her to have a really big hat (mayorgran, not sorrel, she’s fine with her medium hat)

* Sorrel’s mum

(and Regis’s sister and Morty’s aunt. It IS cousins when someone’s the son of your mum’s sibling, right? I can’t remember all the rules for first removed and stuff...)

Generic Mom. She’s just so NICE! Isn’t she nice? Don’t you agree? For some reason she had a falling out with Duke Regis in the past, and now she lives in comparative poverty and like.. no press statement has ever been released on WHY this happened, and everyone’s become rather distrustful of Regis because of it. What exactly is going on?

I kinda wanted to leave it vague at just this, cos you can’t exactly talk about her at all without spoiers. So yeah the next paragraph is gonna not reveal exactly what happened in that backstory, but it��ll talk about this character’s personality and what it.. actually is, I guess..??

SO...

...

A kind of over the top cloyingly “nice” person who really isn’t. A bit of Umbridge and a bit of an overbearing soccer mom. Like.. at first you’ll be wondering ‘why is Sorrel so self hatey when her mom is so nice to her’ but then it becomes clear that’s not what’s really happening. Mom only supports when you act how she wants you to, its a classic ‘living through your children’ situation where she pushes her kid way too far to achieve some goals they never wanted in the first place. And she’s a bit of a moral crusader, like she’s just.. SO convinced that she is ‘nice’, and that if she just acts ‘polite’ and ‘mumsy’ and cute and harmless and follows all the feminine stereotypes it balances out any horribly not nice things she does. Because she’s ‘not that kind of person’. Anything she does is good because she’s good, yknow? And anything Sorrel does is bad if it shows any sort of personality outside of what her mum has so kindly picked out for her, I mean why would you be so selfish, seriously! She kinda always lives like that, seething with resentment and selfish desire and looking for excuses she can use to paint someone as Bad so she is Justified in feeling superior to them and/or ruining their life. And her Nice facade covers up a lot of rather bigoted attitudes she holds, in addition to all the abusiveness. Ones that can be far more insidious cos she delivers them in such a Nice way and appeals to Logic and Compromise and oh but You Know, Everyone Knows, Isn’t It Just Natural And Biological, look at them getting Emotional. She’s very much the archetypical horrid nobleman that we were all so grateful that Regis wasn’t. Except she’s also way more devious and able to hide it beneath a relateable facade, so she can get these stupid naive townsfolk to do stuff that only makes life harder for themselves for the sake of like.. mythical trickle-down benefits that don’t actually exist. And oh, Sorrel, you know you could pass so well for a good Narcian lady if you dyed your hair, you know? Not like Regis’s filthy child. (She says, even though she also married a foreigner, just one from a majority white country...)

Basically she’s just gonna be a detestable monster, and the only pure evil person in the plot. And even more evil because she does such a good job hiding it, and has been able to spread her toxic influence to so many victims undetected for so long. Cos seriously, the story starts off with her being treated as a martyr and people clamouring to replace Regis with her, and it’s just gonna be So Damn Uncomfortable in retrospect when you do a second playthrough and see even Sorrel’s friends completely oblivious to her mum’s evilness. (″Friends? Honey, you don’t HAVE friends. Well, who do you need except little old me?”)

Also I was thinking randomly as a subplot there could be a thing that her mum was in charge of the town library once, and her planned renovations fell through and now the town doesn’t have a library at all, just this big abandoned building and The Enduring Shame. It’d be a good example of how she handles things, cos this is an Enduring Shame for Sorrel and not her. from Sorrel’s perspective she thinks that her mother trusted her with a big responsibility and she fucked it up and thus deserves the scorn. But really her mum just threw a sinking ship at her so she could take the blame, and then was all like “OH THE POOR GIRL IT WAS JUST TOO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY, PLEASE DON’T BLAME HER”. Spreading all these negative rumours to encourage Sorrel to never try and be independant ever again, but in a sneaky reverse psychology way so she could still look like a loving mother. But anyway this is how Sorrel ended up running a Secret Underground Library, her one form of rebellion against her mother’s control. She rescued as many books as she could when the library went under, and now she keeps them all crammed in her room and tries to spread them around without leaving any threads back to her. Cos she knows that her mum is super trusted, and that even good people can’t be trusted to keep secrets from her, and nobody would believe her if she tried to explain why it needs to be secret. So instead she just plays it off as if she’s just another person receiving books from the ghost library, and she’s totally searching for an answer to this mystery too, honest! It’d be a sign that you reached high friendship level with her when she’s like.. able to believe that you’d believe her if she told you her mum abuses her. And the first step of that is ‘hey remember that library we were questing for? its literally under my bed.’ Welcomes you to the secret trapdoor book heaven and you have a strangely romantic evening going OOOOMG FIRST EDITION TOLKEINS (or whatever the equivelant is in this universe XD) But it probably still takes her a while after that to open up about exactly why the library has to be secret, and to come to terms with the fact that she really doesn’t deserve how her mother treats her. So I’d definately give you an opportunity here to Fuck Up Massively by telling the mum about the library, yup. Gotta torment the player every now and again! XD ...but I mean if you’re reading this you know all the spoilrs so you’ll be fine, lol

* Quincy’s grandma (or possibly grand aunt?)

A stern and super professional businesswoman who has a bit of a quarrel with him over how exactly to balance profit vs like.. morality. She’s not a BAD person, her business isn’t so profit-heavy that its like all the actual atrocities you see in mega corporations nowadays. But she’s very distant from her customer base and also from what it’s even like to be poor. And she doesn’t believe that such minor things to improve the shopping experience would like.. actually change anything. What is ‘brand loyalty’?! What is this principle that if people are able to live more comfortably they’ll be able to spend more money on luxuries?? She used to be less greedygrump once, but she gets more jaded every year and keeps bumping money higher and higher up her priority list, abandoning things that used to seem important. And similarly she’s become super ‘I don’t need anyone, I’m better off being alone’, and developed this strained relationship with her grand-nephew. I think maybe I could add another layer of sad to this, woo! I think she raised Quincy alone after his parents were Giant Assholes and ran off. Probably stole a bunch of the family money, probably left her with a failing business that they’d ruined with all their selfish decisions over the years, and an angry mob out for blood against the brand name. And Quincy was very sickly as a kid, so she had to work a lot, leading to the distant relationship and obsession with profit. But she’s become so obsessed and paranoid of losing her money even after it became less of a death sentence, and she just keeps working super hard even though now she has time to spend with her family. And she gets scared seeing Quincy grow up cos she remembers how his parents turned into absolute monsters when she used to trust them so much. Being distant is better than getting hurt again... and god damn why does he have his mother’s eyes...

So yeah, they’re a bit estranged, and you can potentially help with that, woo! But mostly during the main game you’ll just hear about her cos everyone is like ‘oh, are you from [grauntie’s brand name]? why don’t you have this thing, she always has it’ and Quincy is like ‘no, this is my own store.. we’re a small business.. but umm, we’re cheaper..’ He’s trying to step out from under her shadow and prove that her philosophy is wrong, so maybe he can bring back the loving grauntie that he remembers from his childhood. i think maybe the ending could be that she turns up to inspect his new shop and they have some sort of merchant showdown and like... even if Quincy loses he still ends up proving her wrong because she sees just how much everyone in this town cares about him and how he’s improved various parts of their life by bringing access to these imported goods and just generally being a supportive community member. Maybe there are some things more important than profit...

Oh and also I think she was the one responsible for helping out Blair and Dionne when they were running from their abusive parents, and that’s why the two of them are the most friendly with Quincy at the start of the game. They hadn’t seen each other since they were kids, and Blair is kinda like I Owe You A Blood Debt, Is There Anyone You Need Me To Stab Grauntie looks back on this as a moment of weakness tho, and that’s why she stopped keeping in touch with them, she’s embarassed she used to be so sentimental. Cos like.. she spent so much money helping set up these girls with their own house and she lost out on a business opportunity (it was a property she originally purchased to turn into a franchise store) She can’t stop thinking about how tight the funds were around that time and how if she messed up she could have lost her own kid for the sake of helping some other kids... But then she turns up in town and its like Oh No I Walked Down The Street By Accident *gets buried in blair hugs* And she can’t stop crying seeing how much they grew up, and then they’re all like “we’ve been trying to send you a cut of the cafe profits for the last seven years!” and she’s like “NOOOOO, KEEP IT” *even more embarassed at doing even more irrational sympathetic actions*

Also possibly she could get a crush on mayor grandma cos they are both grumpy badasses of opposite? Strength gran vs wisdom gran!

+++

so yeh i made a bunch of grans/demigrans of various kinds, and now I am thankfully satisfied with this story’s gremp quotient

#test game thing #but should i add more grandpas too??#regis kinda counts as one even though his role in the plot is as a dad #but i mean you could give him grandkids if you pick his son as your love interest route! :3

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smhtxmhxlland · 8 years ago

Text

Water

Artist: Jack Garratt

Relationship: Tom Holland X Reader

Summary: Tom has never ever had a girlfriend. (lol we wish)

Warnings: THE F BOMB OH NO! Angst? Idk, it’s pretty clean.

Word Count: 1,886

Want a Song?

"Tom Holland has a new girlfriend.” You friend singsonged to you from across the flower shop that you both were working a summer job at.

You scoffed. “No way, he hasn’t had a girlfriend ever. You and I both know he cannot stand relationships.”

She slapped the article down on the desk. “That’s not was this is saying.”

You scooped up the magazine and searched the page for a date. It was printed only a few days ago. You couldn’t believe it. The star of your school was finally moving on to bigger greater things and he finally decided to get himself more than just a hookup.

“I’m shocked, not gonna lie.” You told her, sliding the pages back to her.

She nodded, agreeing with you. She started reading the article again while you put flowers into a bouquet.

You hadn’t seen Tom since he had returned home after his last movie. That had to be four.....five? years ago. You couldn’t remember. He had been sweet then, the same polite boy everyone knew in school. Also, no he didn’t really hookup with girls all the time. He actually never really had any luck with girls, but when he did he never really acted interested. He usually had always turned them away. Always.

For some reason there was a pit in your belly. Thinking about the article had made you queasy. It was so weird to hear him having a girlfriend. You never really thought about it much, and now that you were, it wasn’t the best feeling in the world.

“Oh, I also saw his mom this morning. She came just before you clocked in. She said he was actually going to be home for a week or two.”

Your heart sped a little. Was he going to bring his new girl? You hoped not. The feeling of jealousy was confusing you, but you really didn’t want to see her.

“Oh goody.” You tried to sound annoyed, but you were actually quite excited.

She laughed at your acting. “Looks like we know you really didn’t learn anything from being best friends with a star actor.”

You rolled your eyes at her and she stuck her tongue out at you. It was true, you sucked at acting. He had always been the more talented best friend. You were bitter that he left you and never really called or texted much, but you couldn’t blame him really. You would want to forget everything about this place, too.

The bell on the front door rang loudly and you glanced up to see a dark haired boy walk in. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. He looked so good. Even better than you remember. It hurt your heart a little.

“Hello, welcome to Daisy’s Tulips & More!” You chimed, using your cheery customer service voice.

He looked at you, frowning at first, but then letting a wide smile appear on his lips. “Hi, (Y/N), it’s been a while.”

You nodded, not really sure what to say to him. “What can I help you with?”

He looked a little disappointed at your obviously scripted response. “Uh, nothing. I was actually...” He paused looking at your stack of magazines. He picked the one up with his face shining through the front cover. You watched as his eyes narrowed and he flipped to the page where his story was. He audibly groaned in irritation.

“What?” You began to joke. “Your hair messed up?”

He looked up at you, trying to force a smile. “No, I’m frustrated. I don’t have a girlfriend. The press keeps trying to force me with every girl they see me with. I mean, that was my hair dresser....”

You couldn’t help but laugh loudly. You covered your mouth immediately. You felt giddy hearing this. He was still the same person you’d always loved. As a best friend of course.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up.” He didn’t look as annoyed as he sounded which made you laugh again. This time he laughed too and you were both almost in tears by the time you were able to catch your breath.

“It’s just so funny. You really haven’t changed at all.” This little reunion was good, the bitter feelings of him leaving you were ebbing.

“Well god, I hope not.” He looked a little concerned by this. “I try to keep a clear head.”

You nodded. “Of course you do.”

This time he looked offended. “Okay, why are you saying stuff like this. I know I haven’t spoken to you in a while, but I thought that’s what you wanted.”

This time you felt offended, hurt even. “I never said I didn’t want to talk to you.”

He looked at you, so many accusations obviously floating around in his head waiting to shoot out at you. He didn’t say anything.

“I was just hurt you were leaving me. I didn’t really mean any of that.”

His gaze softened, no longer the hard glare that had been holding you hostage in your spot. He sighed. “What are you doing later?”

You shrugged. “I get off work at about 4, but other than that, nothing.”

He grinned. “I’ll be here at 4 then.”

He kept his promise and was here at 4, on the dot. You closed up the shop, your best friend had left at 3 for a doctor’s appointment. It had been a really slow day so the last hour of your shift you’d been alone.

“We gotta go to my house first. I haven’t been home since I got here.”

That surprised you. He was a family guy. It wasn’t like him to not see he family right away. Especially when they were expecting him.

“Can I ask what you were doing? You’re usually all about family.”

“I have a surprise for them.”

You didn’t ask anymore questions. You just walked silently behind him down the street to his family’s home. He walked right in when we arrived.

“Mum! I’m home!” He called.

His mother rushed around the corner from the kitchen a wide smile spread across her face. She ran over and engulfed him in a hug.

“I’ve missed you so much.” She pulled away and saw me and nearly shrieked. She hugged me immediately. “(Y/N)! I tried to tell you at work that he was coming home, but you weren’t in. I’ve missed you so much.”

You pulled away and smiled at her. “I’ve missed you too”

During grade school she had been your second mother. You were always over here eating their freshly baked cookies and playing with his younger brothers. You enjoyed it so much more over here than you ever did at your house. Being an only child was boring, and being over here was always so lively. It was incredible.

“We’ll be upstairs.” He said, and began making his way up the stairs.

You smiled once again at his mom and followed in his tracks up the stairs to his familiar room. It hadn’t changed at all. All of his geeky posters were still hung up on the wall. His bed was exactly the same, and everything was in the same spot as it always was.

He sat down on his bed and you went over to your favorite place on the floor and sat there looking at him.

“How come you were so upset with the article of your fake girlfriend? Other than the fact that it was your hair dresser.” The question had been bugging you since he told you it was fake. He had been so angry.

He shrugged. “Just annoying.”

You nodded. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend? I mean, you never have, it’s a little odd.”

He chuckled. “You’re right. I just haven’t have time.”

You rolled your eyes at this. “That is the biggest load of bullshit.”

He laughed louder this time. “No, it’s true.”

“No it’s not, and you know it.” You glared at him. “There is always time.”

“I really don’t know what you expect me to say. I’m telling the truth.”

Except he wasn’t meeting your eyes now. He couldn’t look you in the face when he was saying this. That wasn’t the truth. There was something else, and you wanted to know. You needed to know. You were his best friend.

“Stop, Tom, please. You know that’s not it. I can see right through you, or have you forgotten who I am?”

He shook his head, smiling at you. “I could never forget you.”

The words sliced through your heart in the best way. You heard him sigh.

“I just haven’t found the right one.”

You nodded. You hadn’t found the right one either. You thought something was wrong with you because every time you went on a date with a guy it felt wrong. Like you couldn’t like him. Like it was impossible for you to have feelings for someone. It was frustrating when you kissed a guy and you were revolted by it. You thought maybe you were broken. It was hard sometimes, but you pushed it to the back of your brain because you felt like no one would understand.

“I think I left the right one behind. If that makes sense. Like I never knew about her until it was too late. Like I stepped out of the water and wondered why I wasn’t wet anymore.”

You chuckled. “What kind of metaphor...?”

He laughed with you. “I don’t know, I heard a song one time, but back to seriousness. I think I left you behind and its been killing me ever since.”

Your eyes widened when he said that. Of all the things he could’ve said, you didn’t imagine that coming out of his mouth. Your best friend just basically admitted he was in love with you.

“Then why did you leave me behind. I know I said those things when you left, but you let me go.”

You were hurt at this. He had left you. Like it was the easiest thing in the world. Not a call or text. Just left you to hang by yourself, wondering what you’d done.

“I was scared. I wanted you to be happy, and the way you made it sound, it was like you didn’t want me.”

You shook your head, tears brimming your eyes. “That could never be true.”

“Then I’m sorry. I was wrong, I fucked up.”

You laughed, a tear escaping, “You were really wrong, but it’s okay right? You’re here now.”

He got up and came over to you. “I’m diving in head first this time. I need you. I’ve been on fire lately, and I need you to cool me down. I’m a little over my head.”

You smiled, grabbing his face and kissing him. You’d been wanting to do this forever and it felt so good to be able to. He’d just admitted his soul to you and you had every right.

When you pulled away, he didn’t even attempt to open his mouth to speak. You just smiled at him. “I just hope I don’t drag you down along the way.”

He grinned, your foreheads pressed together and his hand on your cheek. “I don’t care. Drown me in the deep if you have to. As long as I’m with you.”

#this was weird #but I kinda liked it?#tom holland x reader #tom holland #peter parker #spiderman #request #water

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yeaharrys · 8 years ago

Text

Finding Finley / Chapter Three

“Oh Finley, when was the last time you seriously dated someone? You’re almost 24, I’m just trying to jump start something!”

“Wow, I didn’t know being 23 and single is a crime now.”

For Finley O'Connor, love comes second, much to her mother’s dismay. For Harry Styles, life couldn’t revolve without love. When the pair are set up on a blind date, they make a pact to help each other get the thing that is apparently missing from their lives. But how long will it take for them to realise what truly is missing?

A story about being 23, blind dates, and finding who you truly are.

read on wattpad or read on tumblr

Chapter Three: The Friend Request

Saturday mornings were my favourite. It was my one of my only chances of being completely alone in my flat and therefore one of my only chances of solitude. So, despite the fact that I rolled into bed in a drunken state not long after midnight after walking home from the station, I still forced my tired self out of bed when my alarm chirped at 7am.

In theory, having a flatmate seems like an awesome idea. You have someone to split rent and bills costs, someone to help with the household chores, someone to come home to. In practice, however, it's not so simple. Alice was my flatmate, and calling her intense would be putting it lightly. I found her advertisement for a flatmate in the local paper and on a whim decided to follow up on it. The flat was great, good location and spacious. I signed on to the one year lease with her almost immediately. This is something I would come to regret in the following weeks.

Alice was a clean freak. A no-food-in-the-bedroom, no-drinks-without-a-coaster, no-items-in-the-cupboard-without-a-label type of clean freak. And while it was endearing at first, five months later and I was almost always on edge when I was at home. One thing out of place, and Alice would be shooting me daggers and making my life all that much crappier for the rest of the week. So, that's why I came to cherish Saturday mornings. Alice always worked the Saturday morning shift at one of the local cafés so that meant I had until 12pm to relax around the flat before going to hole myself up in my room for the rest of the week, the only relatively Alice-free zone.

I shuffled into the immaculately clean kitchen and grabbed the loaf of sliced bread from the freezer (labelled WHOLEGRAIN, EXP: 18 SEP 2017) and threw two pieces into the toaster before boiling some water. A good cup of tea would immediately scrub the hazy state my mind was currently in. Whilst I wasn't hungover, the shots last night meant I woke up with a small ache in the back of my head. The lack of sleep probably didn't help either.

Once my tea was sufficiently brewed and my toast coated in peanut butter (EXP: 11 JAN 2018), I settled myself on the lounge and pulled up my laptop. The real reason I loved Saturday mornings so much was that it was one of my only peaceful, distraction-free times to write. Script writing to be specific. It started as a topic of interest when I began to expand my film watching horizons as a teen, and three elective classes at uni later had me hooked. I was completely enamoured with the fact that every great movie started with a great script. Whilst it was just a hobby, I couldn't help but love crafting and blocking out scenes of my wildest imaginations. And whilst writing had become an important part of my life, I preferred to keep my hobby on the down low. This made those few hours of being home alone all that more precious. These past few weeks I had been re-working my own version of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. After spending a lonely Friday night watching it on Netflix I was struck with inspiration and decided to take the characters into my own hands.

Whilst munching on my toast, I clicked through and deleted any unimportant emails, checked my iMessage as I couldn't be bothered getting my phone from my bedside table and logged onto Facebook. I made it a point to check my social media, mainly as my mum insisted on tagging me in as many posts as possible and if I didn't promptly reply I would have a phone call from her asking why I was ignoring her.

This morning there was only 2 notifications. And, to my surprise, a friend request. I clicked on the illuminated red (1) and audibly laughed when I saw who it was. Harry Styles. I pressed accept without hesitation, and against better judgement, clicked onto his profile.

I caught myself smiling as his full profile loaded up. His profile picture featured him grinning cheekily at the camera, his arm thrown around a boy with blonde hair who was gripping a pint of beer. I scrolled down his page, various photos and posts littering his wall. I saw the same three or four faces cropping up with Harry, it definitely looked like he had a close knit group of friends.

I had scrolled all the way back to 2014 when I saw a picture of Harry with a girl. A quick glance at who was tagged confirmed that it was Isabel. Gorgeous was an understatement. Her hair, a light shade of brown with a perfect amount of golden highlights, was cascading down over one of her shoulders. She was wearing a simple red dress, but on her it looked tailor made. It was a candid shot, both of them looking into each others eyes with their faces split into laughing grins. You could feel the love radiating from them both just from looking at the photo. It was almost hard to believe that two years later they would be broken up.

I was just about to close the tab when a message box popped up at the bottom of the page. I almost spilt my tea when I saw who it was, like he knew I had just spent the past 20 minutes thoroughly combing through his Facebook profile.

Harry Styles: well hello there, early riser

I chuckled to myself, my fingers hovering over the keys as I formulated a response.

Finley O'Connor: hello stranger. same can be said to you, i'm surprised you are awake after all those shots

Harry Styles: you may be shocked to hear that i can actually handle my alcohol

Harry Styles: i was almost afraid you weren't going to accept my friend request

Finley O'Connor: i'll be honest, i almost didn't accept based on the fact that you had already found my profile without me even telling you my full name last night. stalker abilities on point?

Harry Styles: hahahaha

Harry Styles: i will also be honest, i knew your last name before we even met last night. your aunty basically gave my mum your birth certificate lol

Harry Styles: i also may have stalked you on fb before last night. felt like i shouldnt add you until i met you though, didn't want to be a creep

Finley O'Connor: ah, so that's how you knew who i was when i walked in last night. creep status has definitely achieved

Harry Styles: oh don't act like you havent just been stalking my profile

Harry Styles: i know i have on yours. did you enjoy tea at the langham last month?

I laughed. At least I felt a little better about my shameless Facebook stalking.

Finley O'Connor: omg

Finley O'Connor: how do i block people on facebook???

Finley O'Connor: just kidding. i scrolled back to 2014 so beat that

I decided to move from the lounge to my favourite writing spot, the dining table. At this time of the morning, the sun was always at the perfect angle to warm my back as I typed away. I settled into the chair, opening up the Word Doc containing my work in progress. Before I could type a word though, the Facebook message tone blipped.

Harry Styles: find anything interesting?

I contemplated for a moment whether I should mention the Isabel photo. Considering how candid Harry ended up being about his relationship last night, I figured it wasn't unapproachable territory.

Finley O'Connor: yes, actually. an old photo of you and isabel

I stared expectantly at the small chat box, waiting for the dots to appear to signify he was responding. The seconds ticked by and I began chewing my lip. Perhaps a wrong move? I clicked back to my half written script, trying not to fixate on something so small. However, when the message tone pinged again a couple minutes later, I scrambled to click back to the page.

Harry Styles: yeah there's still a few photos scattered through there, ones she hasn't deleted yet anyways

I didn't know how to respond. I could sense it was still a touchy subject, not that I blamed him. But, he ended up responding for me.

Harry Styles: speaking of....

Harry Styles: we're you serious about what you suggested last night? i know we were both a little tipsy...

I raised my eyebrows. I had forgotten about the drunken pact we had made on the Croydon platform late last night. I actually had some second-hand embarrassment from the idea I had hatched, why did I even think it was a good idea?

Finley O'Connor: oh that pact thing? we don't actually have to do that lol. just a bit of a laugh you know

Harry Styles: what?? no i already have someone in mind to set you up with

Now it was my turn to delay a response. Was he being serious? Was this something I should actually involve myself into? I mean, I had met Harry once and all of the sudden I'm supposed to trust his taste in men for me? And on top of that, he's supposed to trust me to help him win back his ex-girlfriend? I was half-wishing I could've just kept my drunken mouth shut last night.

Harry Styles: hello?? fin?????

Finley O'Connor: i mean.... if you're really serious about it, then sure

I hoped I wasn't going to live to regret this.

Harry Styles: brilliant

Harry Styles: wanna grab a coffee? discuss logistics??

My eyes flickered over to the time displayed in the top left hand corner of my laptop. It had just ticked past 8am, meaning I had 4 hours of non-Alice time ahead of me. Coffee would cut into that. I sighed as I clicked back over to my half-written script, my eyes skimming over the last few lines I had typed out. I guess I could miss my writing session for one week.

Finley O'Connor: have somewhere in mind?

apologies for a short chapter, i decided to split it up, hopefully this wasn’t too boring for you?? let me know your thoughts! thanks for reading :)

#1dff #1dffupdates #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #one direction #harry styles #finding finley

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surveystodestressme · 7 years ago

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41.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 2 101. What does happiness/joy feel like physically? i don’t know... it feels good 102. List five people you love starting with the one you love the absolute most. i don’t think i have a scale from highest to lowest. i love jack, my parents, my sister, mariann, my brother 103. How many movies have you gone to see this month? a couple 104. If you could have 3 wishes…but none of them could be for yourself, what would you wish for? my boyfriend to [ass all of his classes, my parents to not have to worry about bills ever again, and my brother to get his life together 105. In what ways do you relax and de-stress when you are really tense? read, sleep, or do surveys lol

106. How much money would it take to get you to drive to school naked in the springtime and get out of the car? a lot lol 107. Have you ever killed an animal? i hit a deer and killed it 108. Have you ever lost someone close to you? yeah 109. What do you think of cloning? it’s kind of cool honestly, i just hope they don’t try to clone humans anytime soon 110. Do you read or watch TV more often? watch tv shows definitely 111. With all this talk of terrorism going around are you willing to sacrifice rights and freedoms for increased safety? it depends what those rights are. 112. What is the punishment you would come up with for Osama Bin Laden if you caught him alive? well he isn’t anything to worry about anymore lol so it doesn’t matter 113. Have you ever named an individual part of your body? not that i remember 114. Have you ever been on the radio or on TV? i’ve been on tv for my bowling league. 115. Have you ever won a lottery, or sweepstakes? nope 116. Have you ever won a contest or competition? i think so 117. Do you like to watch The Joy of Painting show with Bob Ross (check out this link if you don’t know who he is. Also please note me if you notice the link is broken) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ross_(painter)? never watched it 118. Do you know what your grandparents and your great grand parents did for a living? my mothers mum helps old people for a living, my mothers dad works at target. my dad’s parents, i honestly have no idea what they do 119. Is there anything really interesting in your family history? not that i am aware of 120. Is there anyone you trust completely? of course 121. Have you ever lost someone without having the chance to say goodbye? a few times 122. How do you feel about women in politics? i think we need more of them for sure 123. Would you rather have an indoor Jacuzzi or an outdoor pool? indoor jacuzzi for sure 124. What things are you interested in that you study or read about on your own? anything that has to do with outer space 125. Would you consider yourself to be intelligent? i like to think so 126. Would you consider yourself to be wise? i try to be 127. Have you ever given or received a lap dance? both i think lol 128. Have you ever spoken to a homeless person? yeah 129. Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring? that does not sound like a good idea 130. If you could add 70 years to your life but only by making some random person die 70 years sooner would you? i don’t think i could do that 131. Can you finish any of the following lyrics? A: Nothing to kill or die for… B: Late comings with the late comin’ stretcher… C: I could make a film and make you my star… i don’t think i know any of these. 132. Were you ever with someone while they died? i mean, besides my pets no 133. Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star? rock star for sure 134. Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote? yep 135. Have you ever sent someone a surprise though the mail? uhhh not that i can think of 136. Are you looking forward to any concerts right now? none that i have plans to go to 137. Of all animated movies, which is the best one you’ve ever seen? big hero 6 138. What are the best bands or songs to listen to while driving? it really depends honestly 139. What do you think is the most amazing thing that anyone has ever accomplished? there’s a lot 140. What could a member of the opposite sex do to impress you? make me laugh 141. About how many emails do you get a day? How many of those emails are junk mail? How many of them are forwards? on my regular email i only get a few a day and they’re usually important 142. What’s your favorite thing to do online besides write in your diary and hang out at this site? watch youtube videos 143. Do you believe Kurt Cobain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Cobain) killed himself or was it a conspiracy? i have no idea 144. Have you ever though about hitchhiking across the country? i wouldn’t be able to do it 145. Who would you bring with you on this kind of a road trip? well on just a regular road trip i would take jack 146. Of the following, which word best describes you: accurate, bold, charming, dependable dependable. 147. If you are single, at about what age do you think you will be ready to settle down and get married? If you are married, how old were you at the time? i’m not single and i’m not for sure whether or not jack wants to marry me 148. Do you often wonder, when you say goodbye to people, if it is the last time you will ever see them? i try not to think like that 149. What movie are you most looking forward to seeing when it comes out? the new Jigsaw movie 150. What is your quest? to get thru life man 151. What is louder and more annoying: 200 adults talking or one four-year-old screaming? one four year old screaming. i hate kids

152. Do you believe the stories about planes, boats and people mysteriously disappearing into the Bermuda triangle? i mean, yeah lol. i’m gullible and that shit scares me 153. Who are you the most jealous of? my sister for having her life together lol 154. What is the happiest way you can start your day? waking up next to jack is always an amazing start to my day 155. Do you ever have moments where you feel like everything is all right in the world? yeah 156. Who thinks that you are offensive? i’m sure tons of people do 157. If you had to teach a class in something, what would you be able to teach people? about cats 158. Have you ever had a spiritual experience (an experience that cannot be explained by science)? no 159. Do you believe that this experience was truly mystical or do you think there is some scientific explanation for it, only you don’t know what it is? - 160. Do you get offended easily? sometimes

161. Would you still love and stay with your signifigant other if he or she had to have a breast or testicle removed? of course i would 162. Do you believe in fate or free will? free will 163. Do you believe that only boring people get bored? i don’t think i’m a boring person and i get bored often 164. Can life change or are we all stuck in vain? life can change definitely 165. What changes are you afraid of? the future 166. Are you a day person or nocturnal? i’m a night person 167. What one CD could you listen to for an entire week (no mixed CD’s, it must be an album)? probably a twenty one pilots cd 168. Which is worse, working in retail, food service, or an office? an office, i could never work in one. i can’t imagine how dull it is 169. What’s the coolest job you ever had? the movie theater 170. What is one central idea that your thoughts seem to come back to? idk 171. Have you ever wanted to be an actor/tress? yeah i used to but now i thin how awful it would be bc there would never be any privacy 172. If you had the power to control one person and make this person do anything you wanted for a whole day, who would you pick and what would they do? i wouldn’t do that to a person that just sounds cruel 173. What star sign are you and what is your sign like? aries and idk honestly i don’t read up on that kind of stuff 174. Did the Blair Witch Project scare you? it didn;t scare me at all 175. Are you in constant fear of death? eh not really. i don’t think about it a lot 176. Does fear of death keep you from building a life? not at all 177. Do you like all your movies to be in wide-screen? i don’t mind either way 178. Are you a fan of any comic books? i like some of them 179. At what age did you attend your first funeral? i was pretty young but i don’t remember how old exactly 180. What do you smell like (lotion, cologne, sweat)? my deodorant 181. What are your greatest sources for wisdom? the internet probably or school 182. When you were little, where did your parents tell you babies come from? i never really asked until i was old enough to know 183. What is your favorite band? i don’t have one. 184. What’s the best cheesy 80’s song? i don’t know 185. What’s the best kind of movie to see on a date? something scary for sure 186. Do you like to sit in the front, middle or back of the Movie Theater? i prefer the front 187. Have you ever been inside an abandoned building? nope 188. Under what circumstances would you agree to work for free? unless it’s volunteer work, i wouldn’t 189. Candles or strobe lights? candles. 190. Do you think the Lord of the Rings movies are true to the books or did Hollywood change the story too much? i have never read the books 191. When you see a stranger on the street does your first reaction lean towards thinking of this person as a potential friend or as a potential threat? neither really, i don’t think much of anything 192. Is it natural for human beings to fear and distrust each other, or is it cultural? i think it’s natural 193. What do you really want to buy? a car right now 194. You have to choose. Would you be happier marrying someone rich for their money or living in the streets and subway tunnels with someone you love? living in the street with someone i love. money is just an object and means nothing to me. as long as i am happy with the one i love that is all that matters to me 195. If someone wanted to understand you what book could they read that would help? oh shit idk 196. Do you think it’s odd that Americans have freedom of religion and yet call themselves ‘one nation under god’? kind of 197. In what sense are you a minority? a woman i guess 198. Are you anti social? kind of 199. Do you photograph well? i think so 200. Do you think that human beings would survivor through a nuclear winter? probably not

#bored #survey #questions #quiz

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