#so yeah i probably wont be online much today

[carnally-vittorio]

☕️

Thank you darling.

[blueslight]

Man

[callibones]

UM HI HI HI ITS ME. 🩸🟪 AND I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU I AM VERY SORRY!!!

this week ive been exceptionally busy. a lot of stuff has been piling up for me with university and work and it didnt really give me a lot of time to look at tumblr OR read the fics! ill get to them! i didnt forget i swear ive just been EXHAUSTED this message is just being pulled out of my ass since i didnt expect to write to you today so i dont have any topics planned to ask you about. i didnt wanna take the time to think of something because i didnt want it to seem like i was ignoring your poast (despite the fact you wouldve never known if i had seen it or not .. but MENTALLY i'd feel bad, you know?) but uh. yeah

i don't know how people talk. um. how are you? has your week been particularly busy? what DO you do outside of tumblogging actually .. im curious

OH AND ALSO i very much appreciate the backstory info you gave me on callibones. i MIGHT take inspiration from it for my fanart? maybee? and uh i will send that to you SOON! very soon. i guess in the meantime id just wanna polish it more before sending it to someone out of like. principle?

i looked through your friends blog.. i like the concept of a blood bag person thing. there were probably better ways of saying that but IDK!! once again though i think it is Extremely Drawable so i have a small request ..

and regarding CALCIFER .. i think i would appreciate a deity to deity chat. or an potential acolyte to deity chat or I Mean Ha Ha. and those pronouns are Pretty Cool if i do say so myself! im worried directly sending in an ask would be strange so since you said you were friends with them can you parrot my question? i rlly wanna know whether drawing fanart of their OC is okay. sorry what else. im going to try and plan my next correspondence out ASAP so ill probably go through the cedardivine post before the post you made with a ton of fics? just because the list is shorter. idk what ill do after that--maybe ill rank them or something and you can tell me how wrong my opinion is or something Haha! just kidding im always right. i create new truths as we speak. as im typing this im overwriting just a little bit more of the world's knowledge. im just cool and awesome like that. theres nothing else i can think of at the moment to ask you.. OH UM when you mentioned callyris i realized "hey wait dont i know a blog called that" and Look Who It Was! so thats neat i also think i found another blog that may be under your posession but i dont think i can ask about it at the front desk.. so when i message you in some other manner ill probably ask you about that! who knows i might even be Completely Wrong

well anyways sorry for the delay. it will probably take a while longer for me to compose my thoughts so the delay will continue but. idk. i hope this message isnt TOO INCOHERENT but again i am not proofreading at all for this one.

also im definitely using gooby forever now. thats great. what a peculiar phrase.

GOOBY!!!!

hi hi hi hi! i took a million years to get back to this so NEVER apologize or rush about sending me things. anon asks r a tough way to communicate cause i dont got an online indicator for u so i just gotta guess... and u dont got a notification for me! i hope u see this even tho its been a bit.

ive been busy too cause university's also piling up for ME. i'm gonna respond to this one first, and then i'll take a crack at your mysterious coded message! and then i have to do a million homework because grad school. outside of tumblogging im trying to destroy the world with the infinite power amulet, so i'm majoring in general supervillainy! and also urban planning

for the blood bag: @rigormarcy LOVES fanart. marcy, if u see this, respond with your ref, 'cause you have a super drawable OC! the fans wanna draw u so bad. So Bad.

u found another blog that might b me? omg.... here. how bout this. send me an ask with just the name and i wont publish the response. if youre REALLY curious. but youre probably right, because i invented every blog on tumblr GOOBY

[azumasoroshi]

minidura chapter 2 react (izaya has stopped functioning)

i already forgot what i named the last post whoops

anyway

shizuo jumpscare

as a psychology student who is also taking sociology goddamn do i love the whole community aspect of durarara and the forms. wish i could start a festival in my town just by suggesting it online somewhere. it's so cool how you have no idea of the qualifications of the people you talk to (just like on tumblr except this is all ikebukuro people. and izaya)

i wonder if izaya being the only member of the cast (afaik) to not live in ikebukuro is symbolic of how he feels has to distance himself from the chaos at least a little bit in order to not get swept up in it himself. it's like a self restraint type thing

that's probably really obvious though forgive me im still dutsing off my character analysis lack-of-skills ANYWAY

tom is such a malewife honestly

i dont think ive ever had chocolate bananas before. huh. strawberries sure bananas nah

he looks so cute in that last panel ghghghjhhrhghgghjf

i dont get to see enough of normal laid back shizuo behavior with all the shizaya art i look at lmfAOO

i swear to god if celty's in a kimono 💀 shinra is about to be the most annoying man alive

stupid puns my beloved

the way tom's eyes are drawn in that last panel reminds me of like. american cartoon but i cant put my finger on it

is it arnold from the magic school bus or is it arthur from arthur. who knows

"you absolutely cant get into a fight today" ah so the peace wont last. damn

EGGPLANTZAYA

i cant wait for izaya to show up this chapter and annoy the living hell out of shizuo

maybe i should make eggplantzaya my profile picture (i wont because im too attached to rantaro. not even him as a character just the profile picture) (also because i cant remember where i found the profile picture and im too scared to let it go)

i see that blurb with the really cute izaya picture on the left and im assuming it's just a "this is orihara izaya btw. he's really annoying and shizuo hates him for ruining his life" type thing but god i wish i could read it anyway ill take any crumbs

HERE HE COMES!!!!!!!

oh nvm he's getting shafted for now, we transition to-

WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU

celty in a kimono is inevitable. you cannot escape

she is cute though <3 this might be her first festival since she's irish too damn

that just reminded me god i wish celty talked in a super thick irish accent. some people have already mentioned that but im reiterating it because maybe some abridged series will consider it

wait oh my god is this gonna be another hotpot party type "izaya organized all this because he's lonely and wants an excuse to hang out with people that tolerate him" thing. amazing wonderful i love the izaya slander going on in this manga today

and i was about to say "oh i guess that wasnt izaya's silhouette in the shizuo-tom panel" but he's holding a chocolate banana 💀rip tom's pay i guess

i can imagine how that went but i dont think ill have to imagine for much longer

oh yeah it was right in the next panel lmAO at least you got free food izaya dont complain

"he looks like he's having fun" awwwwwwwwwwwww nothing more fun than ticking off shizuo and not getting hurt in the process

just realized he has the constantly closed eyes pff gin ichimaru lookin edgy ass bitch

he opens his eyes like it's a dramatic supervillain reveal but it's really just him being lonely. thanks for always exposing him shinra mwah

WHY IS HE ACTING SO EVIL. doing the fucking arm spread like this is a bad thing what is wrong with him

i love how mikado shinra and celty are looking at each other like "this fucking guy. cant have one normal conversation"

PFFFFFFFFFFFF

i know shinra is laughing his ass off beneath those glasses rn

izaya's face is amazing actually. you know that one scene in bungou stray dogs wan where atsushi gets dazai a gift and dazai glitches out and stops processing information because he doesnt know how to handle appreciation. this is literally that scene

huh. now i understand why durarara and bsd always get recommended together

KILL HIM MIKADO!! KILL HIM WITH KINDNESS HE'S ALREADY HALFWAY TO HELL

literal proof that izaya ceases to function when someone actually likes him. idc that this isn't canon it's canon because i say so

(side note MAN did they have to give airi noticable cleavage even in her chibi form. come on. you didnt do it for celty you dont have to do it to her 😭 the amount of fanservice with her drives me nuts in the main series)

my man is BROKEN just look at him

local gay baby realizes he accidentally made everyone happy. oops

walker and erika in the background too <3 they're so cute ugh

YOU DUMBASS

i knew itd be another hotpot thing oh mygod he's so. fucking idiot you couldve just tagged along with them 😭

it's only once he imagines shizuo that he snaps too pffffffffft

also namie appearance!!!!!!! hope she appears more in future chapters

10/10 chapter would bully izaya again

oops almost missed the ending drawing!! so cuteeee <3333

[woaddragoon-nadya]

Hello hello! I am back for a little bit. I've been online for like 5 hours today. Still working through Stormblood, but I have come across an odd problem

So I have anxiety. It was more severe as a kid (trouble breathing, more distinct "anxiety attacks"). I still get them now, but they are harder to point out because it's more just like a simmering dread than anything else. Well, FFXIV has been a crutch through two INCREDIBLY stressful times in my life.

The first time was Fall 2022. Freshman in college, totally alone, and my parents were really struggling to support me before my Autism diagnosis. I was experiencing extreme thoughts which I won't detail here. I found comfort in FFXIV after discovering some YouTube videos about it. I was able to immerse myself and pretend to run around this fantasy world full of people. Did I miss a class or a homework assignment because of it? Yes totally. But I needed it.

More recently, Spring 2024, I was going through a cancer scare, my grades were falling apart, and wasn't talking for days at a time. I returned to the familiar world fo FFXIV, and totally fell in this time. It consumed every moment for me. If I wasn't playing, I was thinking about playing.

Well, I'm better now, at least mostly. But now, through some twist of events, playing gives me anxiety. I have today off work, literally nothing to do. And yet I am at the highest rate of anxiety I've been in for a month. Genuinely stomach twisting, painful anxiety.

So yeah, I guess I've sorta pavlovd myself into getting anxiety from the game? So I probably wont be playing too much for awhile. I have to ease back in.

[childofthestarpower]

Internet Angels

Hey guys! Morin here! Today I've decided to do a post on some of my Denpa-esque thoughts ive mentioned, this post is going to be dedicated to Internet Angels, so let's get started☆

"What's an Internet Angel?"

Internet Angels are being who are what I'd describe as regulars on the Internet. They (most of the times) try disguising themselves as normal people, but not all the times they succeded, and as I mentioned, sometimes they dont even try at all.

Anyone can become an Internet Angel, but it takes effort, resistance and resiliance to ascend to that plane, and yes, you ascend.

Note: You can ascend to it at any age, but i don't recommend doing that at young ages. Because the brain is still in development stage, too much exposure of radio waves and Internet content can either cause brainrot or premature ascension, which is no good!! If you want a kid to ascend, please wait until they're around ages 13 and up, so if brainrot/premature ascension happends, at the very least its not so fatal.

"How does it work?"

It's simple! It all works in a video game like way. Everybody has an NetXP bar, that bar serves to track how much media you consume, and when you consume media, that fills the bar with Xperience Points (XP) and that's what used to track it.

The more media you consume, the more XP you gain, and at one point, if you consume enough media, you will ascend (level up) and become a 2G type Angel. Oh yeah, I didn't even mention the Giga Types..

"Giga Types?"

There are many types of Internet Angels, some more stronger than others. As scientists, programmers and what not find out and "create" newer mobile networks, more Giga Types are of Internet Angels are discovered, and as of now, we have 4 types.

2G - The weakests, when you ascend for the first time, you become this. 2G angels can blend in well among non-angels and they're like normal humans, just with a little above the average screentime. Oh, and due to that, they tend to be more hostile towards the other types.

3G - The most common ones, at this stage, the Angel will be a little more net minded, but still able to mask it, the most prominent feature about them is their interests, which are all sorts of unique and non-mainstream media, which they can ramble on about for hours.

4G - In this stage, the Angel has a mindset that a normie/2G type may call "chronically online", this Angel dosen't leave the house often and only rarely ever does, they are really net minded, with their brain already re-wired to think in the Internet way. But because of the fact they still leave the house and talk to other humans with that Netizen mindset, they come off as weird and offputting.

5G - The highest we know of. These Angels do not leave the house, and they can be smarter than a 4G type. They are your typical hikkikomoris/shut-ins and they have big knowledge of the Internet, it's history, the textese and laws. Some of them have seen things that only Angels of this type shall understand, and I've also never seen a 5G Angel younger than 18. Legend has it these angels only come out to do pilgrimage routes to the nearest internet poles... They stand there, just absorving the radio waves in, maybe to ascend to what could one day be dubbed as 6G Angels... But we're not there yet, so let's not get ahead of ourselves.

"Where do they live? What do they eat? What are some of their habits?"

1. Anywhere in the world, in any state and city, but they tend to live in big developed cities. I've never seen an Internet Angel living in rural area, countrysides or farms.

2. Unhealthy food, high energy level drinks (coffee, energy drinks, etc) and anything instant (mostly instant ramen, for whatever reason). That dosen't really mean some of them wont try diets or don't eat healthy food.

3. Long screen time, usage of textese and other internet languages, long time on social medias knowledge of Internet history, reference to medias they enjoy and more I'm probably forgetting.

"What powers does an Internet Angel posses?"

With the help of some supplements, they can enter in contact and channel with higher beings, deities and gods and etc, the higher the level, the higher the deity they can have contact with, I've heard of people even channeling God!

Guide lower types, newbies and humans through the Internet.

Guarding and protecting potentially dangerous media to beings with lower resistance.

Create Digital Cultures.

Withstand stronger radio waves

Influence the modern day world and politics as it is, although i think this needs more research on...

Questions with simpler answers

"What type are you?" Seeecret☆! ;;;;;;;;)

"Are celebrities Internet Angels?" Depends on who we're talking, but they're mostly 2G Angels, the celebrities with highest Giga Type I've seen are Jungkook and Jimin from BTS, I'd say they're probably 3G/4G Angels who mask it reaaaaally well.

"What are Digital Cultures?" Topic for another post! This one is long enough~

"Is this a cult thing?" No!!! These are personal beliefes!!! Not a cult thing!!! >:<

"Are you insane?" I dunno,,

Anyways, if you've read this far, thanks for giving this post attention and reading it! It took a little longer than what i thought to write it and i hope you enjoyed it!! If you have any questions, leave them below. For now, Morin signing off—☆!!

[cutedisneygirl]

Love online

Chapter 4

Sorry it has taken me so long to post this. I will get next chapter up soon.

Warning: There are not many, just a little language in this chapter.

The next few days go by slow. Merida and Chris continue to talk through texts on Instagram. Tiffany still won't believe that it is Chris Evans and keeps telling Merida to be careful. Thursday during nap time Merida posts a picture on Instagram.

Disneydoggrl83❤️ I miss my girl! So much!

Captaindork-liked

liked

Captaindork- Hey! I just saw your post. Those are good pics. I wish there was something I could say or do to help you through this.

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️Thanks. I will be okay. Its just still hard. It's hard going home knowing she won't be there. I also hate going to sleep at night and not having her beside me.

Captaindork-I know exactly how you feel. Its hard when I am gone for work and I don't have Dodger beside me. Maybe this pic will help.

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️That's funny :) and true for us.

Captaindork-Yep. So you have plans this weekend?

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️Tiffany is coming over and we are having a girls weekend. She is taking me somewhere tomorrow night.

Captaindork-That sounds fun.

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️Yeah. I don't know what she has planned. With Tiffany who knows. Hope she doesn't embarrass me.

Captaindork-how could she embarrass you?

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️well tomorrow is my birthday and I know she will tell the waitress or waiter.

Captaindork-Oh! Well maybe she won't embarrass you. ☺️

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️Yeah. Well I need to get going. It's time to get my kids up.

Captaindork-Okay. Have fun. Talk to you later.

Merida got her kids up from nap and changed their diapers, gave them snack and played with them in centers for a little while till they went outside. That evening when Merida got home she was tired. She changed into her pjs and after fixing her self a salad she sat on the couch and watched Avengers Endgame. While she was watching she looked at Instagram.

Dodger lying on Dodger

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️liked

Awww ☺️

Captaindork-Hey! How was work today?

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️It was good. I'm tired. My kids wore me out.

Captaindork-Aww well at least tomorrow is Friday!

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️Yes. I am glad. I am ready for the weekend.

Captaindork-What time is Tiffany coming over?

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️She said she was picking me up at 6

Captaindork- :) I'm sure you girls will have fun.

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️As long as she doesn't embarrass me!

Captaindork-maybe she won't. Well hate to cut this short, but I need to get to bed. I have a long day tomorrow. I probably wont' be able to message you until later in the day. I will be on set all day!

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️Okay. I understand. Hope you have a great day!

Captaindork-Thanks. You too. ☺️

Merida finished her movie then cleaned up her dishes and after she brushed her teeth, took her contacts out and washed her face then climbed into bed. She had another wonderful dream about Chris. When her alarm whet off the next morning she groaned. She rolled over and saw she had a message.

Captaindork-Good morning Merida! Happy Birthday! Hope you have a wonderful day! Have fun tonight!

Awww, Chris is so sweet. Merida thinks to herself. She saw he had sent it at 4:30 am.

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️Thanks! I love the picture. I will let you know how it goes ☺️

Merida got up and got ready for her day. She got a quick shower, changed and then got herself a bowl of cereal and some coffee. After she finished she quickly washed her dishes and brushed her teeth then left for work. When she got to work she saw someone had decorated her door.

Merida smiled and walked into her classroom. She started her day. She changed diapers and played with her kids in centers. They painted, built towers and read books. The day seemed to drag. At nap time one of her coworkers brought her a piece of cake they had made. She sat and ate her cake and scrolled through Instagram. She didn't see anything from Chris. She remembered him telling her he would busy on set all day. She didn't hear from him at all. She missed talking to him during nap time. When the end of the day came, she cleaned her room and headed home. She got a quick shower and got dressed. She decided to dress up a little.

The star necklace was a gift from her father for her last birthday. By the time she finished applying her make up, she was changing her purse when she heard the knock on the door.

   "Hey girl!"

            "Hey! You like nice. I love that dress! I don't think I have ever seen you wear that before."

            "Yeah I got it a while back but never wore it."

            "It looks good on you. Are you ready to go."

            "Yep. Let me just grab my purse. I was in the process of changing purses when you knocked on the door."

Merida left the room and was back a few minutes carrying her purse.

            "Alright lets go."

The girls headed to Tiffany's blue camero. As Tiffany was pulling out Merida says, "Oh Chris messaged me this morning and wished me happy birthday. He sent me the cutest picture."

Merida shows Tiffany. Tiffany glanced at it then back to the road.

            "Is it all the Disney characters?"

            "Yep. Most of them."

            "That's cute. Are you still thinking it's really him?"

            Merida didn't answer.

            "Merida, I'm telling you. It's a scammer. They are telling you its them, but they are fooling you. They are good! They know what they are doing. Please don't let them get to you. Don't believe everything they tell you alright?"

Merida didn't say anything back she just nodded her head. It was quiet the rest of the way to the restaurant. Merida didn't know where Tiffany was taking her. When Tiffany pulled into Olive Garden Merida got excited. Olive Garden was her favorite restaurant.

            "Tiffany! Olive Garden! Really?"

            "Yep. I know its your favorite."

The girls get out and head in. It is a little crowded. Tiffany goes up the podium and tells the lady how many.

            "It will be about 15 minutes." She hands Tiffany a buzzer.

The girls sit down and wait.

            "Merida."

            "What?"

            "You know I love you right?"

            "Yeah I know."

            "I am only looking out for you. I don't want to see you get hurt."

            "I know."

            "I..."

Before Tiffany can finish what she was going to say the buzzer goes off.

            "Looks like our table is ready," Merida says. Glad the conversation was over. She didn't want to argue with Tiffany and she knew that, that was what was going to happen.

The girls followed the lady to their table.

            "Your waitress will be right with you. Enjoy."

The girls start looking at their menu. Merida knows she wants to order peach tea. She doesn't have tea often, but she always orders it when she comes to Olive Garden. Its her favorite.

            "Get whatever you want. This is on me."

            "Thanks."

A waiter comes to the table.

            "I'm Ryan and I will be your waiter this evening. What I start you ladies off with to drink?"

Tiffany looks at Merida. "I'll have peach tea."

     "Good choice. And you miss?" he says looking at Tiffany.

            "I'll have just regular sweet tea."

            "Alright. Any appetizers?"

            "No thank you." Tiffany says.

            "Alright. I will be back shortly with your drinks."

Ryan left and the girls were alone.

            "So has Chris posted anything on Instagram recently?"

            "No. He's been busy filming all day."

            "Is that what Captaindork told you?" She said giving her a raised eyebrow

            "Yes that is what he said."

            "Mmm, well I'm sure he is busy. He is still working on his new movie. Which I do want to see by the way."

            "I'm still trying to decide if I want to see it. It's not really mind of movie. It looks rough."

            "But its got Chris Evans. I told you we can go and just drool over him."

Merida laughs. "Right. I'll think about it."

            Ryan comes back with their drinks.

            "A peach tea for you," he says setting it down in front of Merida.

            "And a regular sweet tea for you," he says setting it down in front of Tiffany.

            "Have you ladies decided what you want to order?"

            "Yes, I want to the Chicken Alfrado."

            "Do you want that grilled chicken?"

            "Yes please."

            "Salad or soup?"

            "Salad."

            "And you miss?" he asks looking at Tiffany.

            "I want the 5 cheese ziti al forno."

            "Would you like soup or salad?"

            "Salad."

            "Alright. I will have your salad and bread sticks out to you soon."

            Ryan left and the girls were alone once again. Just as Tiffany was fixing to speak Merida's phone went off. She pulled it out of her purse and looked.

Captaindork- ☺️hope your bday dinner is going well. And your welcome for the pic. I saw it and had to send it you. Hopefully Tiffany hasn't embarrassed you.

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️Not yet. But the night is still young ☺️ We are at Olive Garden

Captaindork-Nice! Great place! I'll let you enjoy your dinner. Talk to you later ☺️

Disneydoggrl83 ❤️Okay! And yes its my favorite restaurant. Talk to you later. I will let you know how it turns out. ☺️

Captaindork- ☺️👍

     "Who are you talking to? Him?"

            "Yes. He was saying he hoped my dinner was going well."

            "Oh, so you told him where you were going?"

            "Well this morning, I didn't know. But I just now told him where I was."

            "So he knows your not home!"

            "What? Well ya."

            "Merida! Never, ever tell a stranger your not home!"

            "Tiffany, relax. He doesn't know where I live or anything. We have never gotten that pacific."

            "Good! Don't!"

            "Geez, you think I'm stupid, but I'm not that stupid!"

            "I never said you were stupid. Naive at times maybe but not stupid!"

Merida didn't say anything back. Ryan returned with their bread sticks and Salad.

            "Would you like cheese on your salad?"

            "Yes."

            Ryan spread cheese on the salad then put it on the table.

            "Your food will be out shortly."

Merida put salad in her bowl and after Tiffany got hers, Tiffany said a prayer thanking them for the food. Merida remained quiet and ate her salad.

            "Merida, I'm sorry."

            "Tiff, its okay."

            "I know your mad at me. I know how much you want to believe its him. But it's not. Actors don't message fans."

            "Tiff, I said I'm fine. It's okay. I know your looking out for me. It's okay."

            "Alright. As long as we are cool and your not mad at me. I can't have my bff mad at me."

            "I'm not mad at you," Merida smiled.

            "Good."

The girls finished their salad and talked a little about their day. Merida told her what her coworkers did for her at work and about her kids. Then Ryan returned with their food. He put cheese on both their bowls.

            "Enjoy!"

Ryan leaves and the girls dig in.

            "This looks so good!" Tiffany says.

            "Yes, its been so long since I have had this."

The girls eat and when Ryan comes back to check on them Tiffany says

            "It's her birthday."

            "Oh it is! Well  Happy Birthday! I will bring you a dessert in a few," Ryan says looking at Merida and smiling then leaves.

            "Tiffany!"

            "Hey, you get a free dessert!"

            "Yeah but now they are going to sing to me!"

            "So, you get a dessert!"

By the time the girls finish their meal Ryan is back with the rest of the staff and they sing happy birthday to Merida. The rest of the staff leave. Ryan sets the brownie and ice cream down in front of Merida.

            "Happy Birthday! Enjoy," He smiles                        

"Can I get you anything?" He asks looking at Tiffany.

            "No thanks."

            "Alright. Well enjoy. I'll be back with the check." He smiles once again, then leaves.

            Merida looks up and sees Tiffany smiling at her.

            "What?"

            "That waiter was flirting with you."  

            "He was not!"

            "He was!"

            Merida takes a bite of her brownie. "Would you like a bite? Its good."

            "Sure." Tiffany takes a bite. They end up sharing the dessert. Ryan comes back.

            "Can I get you anything else?"

            "Nope, I think we are good thanks." Tiffany says.

            "Alright. Well here is your check. Just let me know when your ready. You girls have a goodnight," He smiles again looking at Merida then walks off.

            "Girl! He is so into you!"

            "He is not!"

            Tiffany opens up the black book where the check is.

            "OMG!"

            "What! What's wrong?"

            "Look at the bottom of the recit."

            Tiffany shows Merida the check and at the bottom is says.

Have a goodnight ladies. And to the birthday girl! Hope you have a wonderful night. Your beautiful! Call me 828-253-9701

"OMG! He gave me his number!"

            "I told you he was into you."

            "Well I'm not calling him."

            "Why not?"

            "Tiffany!"

            "What?"

            Tiffany pulls out her wallet and takes $50.00.

            "Your leaving him all that! How much was the bill?"

            "He was a good waiter!"

The girls stand up. Merida grabs her purse and they head out. As they leave they see Ryan behind the reister and he smiles at them and waves. They get to the car.

            "I think you should call him."

            "No! I am not calling a guy I met at a restaurant!"

            "But you will talk to someone you met online!"

            Merida glares at Tiffany then looks away out the window and keeps quiet.

As Tiffany pulls out of the parking lot she says, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. That was mean. Forgive me."

            "Sure."

Tiffany arrives at Merida's house and after Merida unlocks her door the girls head inside.

            "Why don't we go ahead and get into our pjs and watch Disney movies?"

            "Okay."

The girls change into their pjs. Merida pops some pop corn while Tiffany finds a movie.

            "Why don't we watch Robin Hood first."

            "Sounds good." Merida says carrying the bowl of popcorn.

Just as the movie starts Merida hears her phone. She looks down and sees it's a video call from Captaindork

            "OMG!"

            "What?"

            "Chris is video calling me. The last time he did it, he said it was an accident."

            "Answer it. I want to see him for myself."

Merida hits accept.

            "Hey!"

            "Shit! I did it again. I'm sorry."

            Merida laughs. "It's okay. I wondered if you did it on purpose this time."

            "No, I was fixing to message you and I hit the video by mistake. I am not use to using Instagram this way."

            "It's okay. Tiffany is right beside me just so you know." Merida says turning the screen a little so Chris can see her.

            "Hey Tiffany. So you're the friend I have heard so much about."

            "That would be me."

            "So how was dinner? Did Tiffany embarrass you?"

            "Yes! She told the waiter it was my birthday and then he and the rest of the staff sang to me."

            "But she got free dessert and the waiter has a crush on her."

            "Oh is that so?"

            "Tiffany!" Merida said elbowing her.

            "Yes, he wrote his number for her at the bottom of reciet."

            "Oh did he now?"

            "Tiffany hush!" Merida said elbowing her again.

Chris laughs.

            "So are you calling him?"

            "No!"

            "Why not? Sounds like he might like you."

            "I'm not calling him."

            "Sounds like I have some competition." Chris smiles.

Merida just smiled. She didn't know what to say. Tiffany just shook her head.

            "So what are you girls up to?"

            "Well we are fixing to watch Robin Hood and eat some popcorn."

            "Sounds fun. I'll let you watch your movie. Have fun. I'll talk to you later. Goodnight Merida."

            "Goodnight Chris."

Chris ends the call. Merida looks over at Tiffany.

            "Do you still think it wasn't him?"

            "It certainly looked and sounded like him but I'm telling you they can fool you. They are good."

            "Okay whatever, lets just watch the movie."

            "I did sense a little bit of jealousy though when we told him about the waiter."

            "What! No."

            "Yes. He did say he had some competition."

            "Well he doesn't have to worry. I'm not calling Ryan."

            "Well maybe he will call you."

            "What! How?"

            "I might have written your number at the bottom of the receipt." Tiffany says smiling.

            "You did not!"

Tiffany smiles and starts the movie. When the movie ends the girls decide to find something on tv. Merida sees the movie The Greatest Show Man on.

            "Oh! I love that movie! Lets watch that! I know its your favorite!"

            "No!"

            "Why? I thought you loved that movie."

            "Not anymore."

            "Why not?"

            Tiffany is quiet for a minute.

            "Tiff. What's wrong? Tell me."

            "I don't like Zac Efron anymore."

            "Why not? You use to love him."

            "Used to!"

            "What happened?"

            Tiffany is quiet again for several minutes. She takes a deep breath then says, "I was scammed by someone pretending to be him."

            "What! When?"

            "A year ago."

            "Why did you never tell me?"

            "I was embarrassed. That's why I have been so hard you. The same thing happened to me that is happing to you. He messged me and made me think it was him. He video called me and it looked just like him, sounded just like him, but it wasn't him."

            "How did you find out it wasn't?"

            "Well at first I didn't think anything about it when he told me to send money to meet him. Said he would help me with what he could, but that I had to send a little."

            "You didn't!"

            "I did!"

             "What happened next?"

            "Well he kept on asking for money!"

            "You didn't give him more did you?"

            "I told him I couldn't send anymore."

            "Then what happened?"

            "He kept on asking. Saying he really wanted to meet him and that it was the only way for me to meet him. That he wished he could just come to NC to see me but he couldn't."

            "What did you do?"

            "I told him I wouldn't send anymore money. Then a few days later his profile on Instagram was gone and then there was a message from Zac Efron on his page about being aware of scammers pretending to be him. That he has not messaged any fans."

            "OMG! Girl I'm sorry. Wish you had told me."

            "Yeah. So now you understand why I am so hard on you."

            "Yes I do."

            "So be careful alright."

            "I will, but Chris has not asked for any personal info or money."

            "Yet! Zac didn't at first. We talked for a month before he started asking for it."

            "Oh. Well thanks for telling me."

            "Your welcome. I care about you girl and want the best for you."

            "I know you do. Thanks."

            "Oh and by the way. I do have a gift for you, but I left it at home. I couldn't bring it with me. I didn't want to leave it in the car while we went to eat. I will get it tomorrow."

            "Oh okay. Well you didn't have to get me anything. The dinner was enough."

            Tiffany smiled. "So what do we watch? Oh how about this?"

She asked clicking on The Last Song.

            "Sure, I like that movie."

The girls watch the movie. The whole time Merida is thinking about what Tiffany told her. If all she said was true, which she knew it was, she knew Tiffany wouldn't lie to her, Chris could be fake. But Merida just knew in her heart that it was really Chris Evans she was talking to, but she knew she needed to be careful after what Tiffany told her.

[cas-coding]

my mom is being a dick so im making it all your guys problem because i dont have therapy until thursday

im going to put my vent below the cut because it will probably get triggering, but id appreciate if you guys would let me know any official terms for what my mom is doing to me/if there are any online resources to help

so my mom got home from work today and she was really pissed at everyone and everything. she yelled at me to take out the trash (which i usually do on tuesdays, but much closer to 5pm than the 3pm that it was at that moment) and i said sure let me finish this snack and if i have time before i have to pick up my brother, ill do it then. if not ill do it after.

she said okay and went back to her little candy crush game. two minutes later she tells me i need to pick up my brother. i say yeah i know. ill leave to pick him up at 4pm (which is roughtly 45 min away atp) and she sighs and says fine.

im like okay im not taking this bait. so i finish my snack and i do the garbage. then i pick up my brother and he's a dick to me too. leaves his metal waterbottle on the floor of my car where it will bang around and distract me from driving (i have drivers ocd and a lot of driving anxiety, so ive told him multiple times not to do this and hes usually good with it) and then my brother is all dramatic about getting out of the car and his knee hurting (he is 15) and i say the house isnt that far but im sorry it hurts and he calls me a bitch. what was i supposed to say

but anyway back to my mom. i havent told her my daily stories yet (and i know im fortunate to have parents that care about my day to day) so i tell her this story relating to my friend. i say hey he's been doing this recently and it's annoying and i wish he would stop. i talked to him about it a couple times and he wont stop.

my mom looks me dead in the eye and asks me why im so dramatic about everything. why does it bother you so much. its your fault. get over it. stuff like that. and she says it in this perfectly nice loving mothering voice. im sorry, what?

i said that ive asked him to stop and we've had conversations and he wont. i said its not my fault im trying, please don't say that to me. and my mom just keeps going on, saying oh youre overreacting, just get over it, why are you so pissy with all of your friends.

so im like emotionally exhausted and i blurt out that i have trauma from past friends. my second grade best friend moved away and then ignored my phone calls. my fourth grade best friend moved across the country and never responded to my (five!!!) letters. i told my seventh grade best friend that i thought i might not be a girl (surprise, im a trans man) and she called me the t-slur (i know i can say it, but i really dont like it because of this experience). i told my mom that that friend then went on to tell all of my high school friends (who only knew my chosen name) my birth name and then those friends struggled to use my chosen name ever again because 'oh your birth name fits you so much better!'

and you know what my mom said? she started lecturing me. how i cant let people hurt me. how its my fault i get mad at people. how im the reason no one wants to be my friend. how im damaged goods because of all the shit i wont get over. etc.

and i dont care if my mom makes me food. i dont care if she gives me a house to live in. that's bare minimum and i am not required to love her for that.

and she's never once proved to me that she deserves my love, so in ten years when shes wondering why i never call, this is only one reason why. she does this in so many ways and so many scenarios that i dont know how anyone tolerates her.

as soon as i can financially leave her, i will, and i will never look back.

[losing-my-mind-in-the-mirror]

you called ? (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

hehe

hi sweetie, how are you doinggggggg, how was vacay, how is life going on!!!

I came online bc mr. conan fucking gray released a new song and i wanted to see how is it going with other ppl who like him bc i loved the vibe and its different from what he usually sings and everything.

speaking of songs, i liked the one you linked in my last ask a lot.

my exams are almost over, the last one is on 26th and the next ones are in like july end so yayyyyy

i am looking forward to some holidays if we will get any because its not confirmed yet and i do not trust my institute as they didnt give us any winter holidays either. but i do wanna learn something like dancing or driving or even swimming, if we get like a month of holiday bc i really wanna learn something useful i have started to feel like a useless person tbh bc i dont do anything productive with my time. i dont read i dont write i dont have a single fucking hobby. i am just on this damn phone watching web series and movies.

although my laptop is fixed now so ig i can start reading again.

i have a rack full of course book but i just dont feel like reading them. i go through a 300 page book in two hours, just skimming through and skipping half of the syllabus. and yesterday i didnt even study that much i just gave the exam according to prev knowledge which is so so so limited idek if i will pass. like i am sure out of 10 subject i am for sure going to fail in atleast 3 including the last one and barely pass by a mark or two in the other subs.

and if i wont get any holidays then i think we will join the institute before or by 15th of june and then we will have to settle in and maybe start preparing for orientation for the next batch of freshers and maybe get to participate in some inter-institute competions. bc there are like 9 branches and i am hoping i will make some friends from the other institutes so its going to be a lot of activities and chaos and i wish i will get to participate in something and they wont reject me for being completely useless everywhere. bc that, would be hella depressing. specially as i m already feeling useless and then other ppl will make me feel more useless, like gimme a break here.

i am going to try to stay positive about it though. as long as i can that is.

sorry for the long rant lol. have a good day, or night. <3

buh bye

love ya sm

-🐬

Omg 😭😭😭 you’re actually here??? 😭😭😭

Vacay was great, life is okay ig and I didn’t cry in like 3 weeks :D

Yeah I listened to it and I really like it!! I honestly don’t know what song that was I’m glad you like it ❤️🐬

Good luck for your exams!! You’re gonna do great!!

So wait when was the last time you had holidays?? That sounds super stressful I hope you get a few free days soon <33

You aren’t useless!! But that’s great, you learn the things you wanna learn! Speaking of learning I’ll probably start taking guitar classes soon 😁

I Hope you make new friends <3 if anyone says something mean or makes you feel useless I’ll kick their asses!!

Always feel free to rant my love <3

I was at a swim competition today again! I wasn’t really good because I was sick last weeks but it was fun and I’ll go dancing tonight so I’m excited for that already 💃🏽🕺

Love you so so so much 🐬🐬🐬

[dandeliononthemoon]

Some out of context text exchanges for y'all - TSC edition (if they did my courses)

This is some text exchanges between me and my uni mates who've been doing courses for this term together and since it is ending now, I gift you those text exchanges.

about the assignment article they are writing

Will : Tessa, i am gonna merge the conclusion and discussion into one section.

Will: i know how much you wanted to separate them, like Romeo and Juliette

Tessa:

Tessa: so the conclusion and discussion are dead?

Will: *takes a look at the sections* well they have the word "die" in it so....

---

Jace: i am gonna be a little late to class

Alec: *sends a meme with the text "disappointed but not surprised"*

---

Dru: i wont be at the online class today.

Dru: i have to admit, i hadn't eaten cheese yesterday

Kit: i am little later, I've had only a little bit of cheese

Ty:

---

about the assignment article

Kieran: funny how some students are either very critical or totally not

Cristina: i filter out the criticism, i only see praise *peace sign*

Mark: you have only eyes for love

Mark: so good of you

---

Dru: i considered using the phrase "not like other girls" [in the first draft of the article], but i decided not to

Dru: isn't very professional

Kit: aw you should've!

Dru: well Ty didn't want to

Ty: too late, already submitted it

Ty: :)

---

in the context that Magnus gives tuition classes

Magnus: *makes a spelling error*

Tessa: maybe go to the tuition yourself?

Magnus: s t o p

---

5 hours after Tessa and Jem had a convo about how long their assignment submission was (both had 2.5 pages), theirs was submitted early

Will: just wanted to let you know that i got mine in 1.75 pages :)

Tessa: good to know, thanks

Jem: good of you to mention it

Will: yes i am very proud of myself

---

Raphael (about class): i am sorry i wont be there today, i have plans

Magnus: *gasp* how dare you

Ragnor: betrayal

---

Livia (about an assignment question): huh? how do you apply that here?

Livia: oh

Livia: OH i see it

Livia: thanks

Kit and Ty:

---

Magnus and Catarina at new year's: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Ragnor (4 hours later): happy new year

---

Jace: i have missed if we got new homework this week, do we?

Clary: nope

Jace: that is a relief

Jace: not that i couldn't catch up on the homework of the last 3 weeks in one afternoon but at least no new homework

---

Isabelle (about irl class): i am a little later

Jace: me too

Alec: same

*Alec and Isabelle have arrived at class*

Jace (an hour later): bamboozled i wont be there today

Jace: thought i could nap, but it took longer than i thought

Jace: i will be there online

---

one day before the midterm of Quantum Mechanics

Cristina : how much do we need to know about chapter 10 of Stellar Astrophysics?

Emma: you are doing that now??

Cristina: yeah, i am not gonna continue studying Quantum, something about short term memory lol

Cristina: am smart cookie

Emma: well i don't know actually

Emma: maybe cross check the topics of the exercises with the chapter content

Cristina: ooh smart

Emma: am also smart cookie :)

Cristina: we are all smart cookies

Cristina: Julian is probably a smart cheese

---

Magnus: was your answer a letter or a number [on an exercise question]?

Catarina: a number

Magnus: ooooooh

Magnus: that makes so much sense

---

Jace (about an assignment question): i did this *shows what he did* which is absolutely wrong of course but i arrived at the correct answer?

Simon: *shows what they have done*

Jace: huh

Jace: i'll look at it later

Jace: gotta eat first

---

Clary renaming the groupchat "cheese sticks"

Simon: good

Simon: we love cheese sticks

---

+ bonus

at the end of term

Clary: i wanna burn the astrophysics text book

Jace: you wanna burn bob?

Clary: 🔥bob🔥

[squisan]

Pearlina (Pearl x Marina) Comic... made with just sticky notes

No idea how to use Tumblr, but I'm gonna post something regardless, so I want to talk about a comic i made entirely in school over a few days, literally just while i was bored in class.

They're all drawn in tiny little sticky notes, and there's only one chapter so far, and I want to make it a whole series. i will work on making a digital art version, cuz you know, i'll actually have time to make it look good there, because this comic... is very low quality. But it makes sense, it's literally drawn on sticky notes.

So, this comic is set in Splatoon 3. Since Pearl and Marina aren't seen in-game (yet), I imagined them being on vacation, so this comic is set as if Pearl and Marina are on vacation.

-

not gonna lie, i'll probably remove this part in the digital version. Why would Callie call them asking for help when she's literally part of the Squidbeak Splatoon? lol

-

This might be removed too, i'm not sure. I thought it would be funny to add an observer spying on the two, trying to find info about them and post it online.

They say "I KNEW IT, THEY ARE MARRIED!!", but i don't think that's really what I want to be canon for this. It's just a theory that this character immediately jumped to. I think Pearl and Marina are dating, but not married. Though, I do think that they both dream about marrying each-other every day.

Who knows, maybe I'll draw them getting married in the future...

-

Is it too early to be cooking up some drama? I mean I suppose the first chapter just being setting up the scene is fine, but also... kinda wanna get people hooked on the story from the start.. gotta keep them entertained quickly or they wont stay for long.. maybe?

Anyway, I headcanon that Marina keeps a photo album that's absolutely jam packed with photos of her and Pearl, from their first few moments all the way up to today. The photo album has a ton of those sticky tabs on pretty much every photo, each coloured tab having it's own meaning.

She looks at the photos when she's feeling down, and it helps her feel better. Of course, she couldn't help bringing it with her on her vacation — or, well.. she meant to, but as it appears here, it's gone missing...

-

I wrote this part based on a real event, one that actually took place while I was drawing this comic, actually.

As I said, I drew all of this in school, so I brought a little copybook where i had all the panels stuck together to create the comic.

One day, I took it out of my bag to take some photos of the panels, because I wanted to show them to my friend.

The next day, I put it in my bag, and went to school. Later, I realised that, the copybook.. wasn't in my bag at all. I couldn't find it.

I couldn't stop thinking about it. Did I drop it on the road, to be ran over by cars? Did someone find it, read through all the drawings, and laugh at how stupid it was?

I went home after school, and looked for my copybook. Nowhere. I tried to remember the events of that morning, when I put my copybook in my bag. I remembered picking it up from my desk, walking down the stairs to put it in my bag, then.. I don't remember what I did at my bag. My mind went blank, there was a gap in the middle.

I went about a week or two without the copybook, and I gave up at that point. However, I was called to the office one day, and they asked me if the copybook that they had in their office was mine. No idea how they somehow found it, someone else probably found it and gave it to the office. Which means.. yeah, I was probably right about someone looking through it and laughing, but nobody approached me about it, so it's probably someone that doesn't know me, and I don't know them, so to be honest, I'm fine with that.

-

Pearl giving out a heartwarming speech, very rare... just kidding, she cares about Marina, of course she'll try to keep her calm during this!

I wrote these panels as just Pearl talking to Marina, but I'm hoping this speech speaks to other people as-well, about how people never try to see the bright side, and always consider the absolute worst has happened.

It's normal for humans to over-exaggerate things. How many times have you had an upcoming exam, and been really stressed about it, but then when you get the exam paper, you realise, "Oh.. this is.. way easier than I imagined it being."?

The second last panel talks about being sentimental, about how we treat things, physical or digital, as if they will be forever gone if lost. It's a hard thing to lose something you've held onto for years. I had my 5-year-old Discord account banned and deleted, and just like that, every single conversation i held so close to my heart was lost.

It's not easy to let go of something like that. It may sound stupid, but yes, I did cry over pieces of text being lost. Even if I never looked through old messages, it's really nice to just know the fact that they're there, and I can look back through my past.

But we need to remember that, even if the visual form of something we love is gone, we will always have the memory within us. I will never forget meeting some of my closest friends, and all of the great times I had. Never.

-

That's the end of the first chapter. If I do end up creating the digital version, I'll post it here. Until then, stay tuned for the next chapter..!

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. dramatic butt older head sneezy lefty eyebag 😅

Sheeeeeeesh I feel attacked now too! Is this because I said you a meany head for not spoiling things 🤣

I woke up with a runny nose. I think I'm getting another cold but I hope not. So today I'm just taking it easy and gonna watch some shows I need to catch up on.

How about you? How is your day so far?

Does that mean that next year, you guys will get a plastic tree instead??

Hahahaha when you said you look shiny, I imagined the Mr. Clean commercial where his bald head sparkles. 🤣🤣

You're corny 🙄🤣 just kidding. Speaking of pasta, maybe that's what happened to Yelena.. she was so upsetti for not finding Natasha, so she had spaghetti. Then.. it grew into an addiction and she pasta way...🤔

Okay okay, songs that remind me of summer.. like I said, thinking of summer, it brings me back to working or bbqing.. oh even camping. So let's see..and since I can't add them as a link, I'll just list them:

1. We Can't Stop by Miley Cyrus

2. 23 by Miley Cyrus

3. Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus

That's a lame list ahahaha but it's because when I used to work at Wendy's, I had this coworker who would always come in and sing Miley Cyrus songs. So when were just cleaning in the back, we would play the songs and sing along to it 😅

I don't think we really talked about genre of music before. But I'm the same way.. although I can tolerate those screaming rock metal genres.

Hahaha oh boy, so you don't know how to flirt and are oblivious to people flirting with you? So that applies to online too? Or just in person?

But I shouldn't make fun, apparently I am the same way. Well, I don't know when people are flirting with me until it's too late. I'm usually shy at first, so I don't flirt much. But once I am comfortable around someone I like, I flirt with them.

Okay, so let's say 3 songs from when you were a teenager.

Then next question is 3 songs that you would play on repeat when you are sad/angry.

-CuriousGeorge

Hello hello righty eyebag!

Wait, u call me older head? Am i older than u? I remember u r in ur 30s too but who is older? U or me? I'm 35. U dont have to say the number ,u can just says who is older.🤭😆

Haha well, i can be meany head or sweet n nice head. U choose 😅🤣

U wanna know some spoilers of The Monsters Within? Okay.

.

.

.

.

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.

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.

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JUST KIDDING!got u!! No spoilers policy..😅🤣🤣

Oh no! I hope u r not catching a cold. It will be suck if u got sick on christmas while u r working.

No, i dont think we will have plastic tree. This is actually thr first time i hv allergies on the pine tree. I googled it may takes sometimes for allergies to christmas tree to develop. So we'll see next year how it is. Also i forgot to answer ur question. Yes, my husband n i lived together first for like 2 years. 😊

My day is okay. Busy. Been cleaning the house so we will come home to a clean house.

Omg, im not bald. How dare u! 🤣🤣 i meant my hair is thin but im not bald.lol.

Oh dear lord, u n ur puns. 🤣🤣 pasta-way, thats corny pun.🤣 i literally had to put down my phone n hold my forehead n shake my head after i read that pharagraph about yelena.😅

Oh okay.no wonder ur 3 songs of summer are all miley cyrus. 😅 i was like dang girl r u a fan of her or something? 😅

Yeahi dont know how to flirt. Im an awkward shy person. N i didnt know if i flirt. Few days ago, H kinda comment that i kinda flirt on the asks after she read my asks conversation. I was like "really? Did i? I didnt know" 😅 so i guess my obliviousness applies on online too. Lol.

Ah i see, yeah im like u too. I may not talk much but if i got comfortable or the other person talk enough n fun, i can talk a lot more or even wont shut up. N flirt with out realizing it, obviously.🤣

Hmm songs that reminds my teenager era probably all songs from backstreet boys, nsync, britney spears. 😅

Songs that i wil repeat when im angry is this whole album:

Songs that i repeat whn im sad, i cant pick it. I will just randomly search sad playlist on spotify. 😅 or sometimes listen to classical opera songs.

What about u?

Also have u ever think that some songs r sexy / hv a sexy vibe?

Next questions?

Cheerio!

[fandomfixationstation]

Warning: mention of death of a loved one.

Todays concept is MC gets a call that like their parental figure has died one way or another and this upsets them greatly because one, they aren’t there to help with anything two, the only people there to do anything are their siblings three, they considered said parent a angel or a blessing by god (optional/bonus points if said parents name means angel-)  They don’t say anything at first though they seem rather angry and now one can figure out why. then they hide and have a mental breakdown to cry in hopefully but unlikely peace.  now I shall write the response headcanons / scenarios or whatever I will do Update: well I didn’t write a scenario / short story bit for all of them because i ran out of energy to do so and then i never went back to it, though if anyone begs or askes nicely I could in theory maybe work something out. this was something self indulgent and was something i wrote to really get me out of a bad headspace.  Lucifer

He is the first one to realize something is wrong, especially if they aren’t a very angry person. 

probably doesn’t get to ask about what is going on because he is forced to deal with something else and rather quickly

though when people start inquiring where they went after lunch, finding it unlikely that they would randomly choose to skip class or something he makes his goal to find them.

Probably doesn’t take him long to find them after he starts looking. gets it in the first three guesses of where they are hiding.

“why are you hiding here with Cerberus?” Lucifer said with a bit of amusement. he figured he would find them here with his dog. just not curled up and cuddling. 

“wouldn’t you like to know” was all they uttered out, having no real energy to argue, or fight. though it was clear they had been crying their eyes out. 

“well something is clearly upsetting you, why not talk about it. nobody else is here to listen in” Lucifer offers to lend an ear to listen to their problems. he was also hoping that by doing so he could get to the root of the problem and deal with it. expecting that he was going to have to knock one of his brothers into line again. 

“I just received some bad news. that’s all. also, I’ll be otherwise located Friday, so like, don’t worry if I’m not around on Friday, I will be back like Saturday, so there is that” They explain, clearly not wanting to get into the details of the so called bad news.  

“otherwise located?” Lucifer inquired as to what the hell they meant by that. 

“yeah, um, I will be visiting - visiting the human world for the day.” visiting might not be the word they were looking for but it was the word they went with nonetheless. 

“your visiting the human world?” Lucifer was surprised to say the least. especially considering he wasn’t hearing about this till now. 

“yeah, i was talking to Diavolo not long ago to make sure it was alright” with a sigh the were back to melting into the side of the dog. 

“normally you are excited to visit the human world, what happened” lucifer wanted to get to the root of the misery they were feeling and he wasn’t gonna sweep this under the rug.

“for fuck sakes, you really aren’t gonna leave me alone till I say it huh? my parent fucking died. are you fucking happy, lucifer? Jesus Christ.” doing everything in their power to hold back a second wave of tears as they add on “my blessing of a parent died. can we drop the topic now?” they said clearly not wanting to hear anything come out of lucifer's mouth as they hardly give him the chance to speak. 

“ah, I see, my condolences” Lucifer was trying to figure out what to say at the same time he was trying to figure out how to cheer them up or at least make them more comfortable. “do you want some Kleenex? how about some water?” lucifer inquired simply.

“water would be nice.” they let out a sigh. 

“im sure your parent was a lovely person. I think it is safe to assume that they’ll end up somewhere where they are safe and happy” Lucifer states simply as he holds a hand out to them to help them to their feet.

“I have no doubts about it. so you don’t need to tell me twice. it just. . . hurts” They says rather quietly. Accepting lucifer’s hand and pulling themself to their feet. 

”go take a seat in my office, no one will bother you in there. I’ll join you soon enough with your glass of water.”  Mammon

This man probably thinks he did something wrong, spends half the day trying to figure out what he did

if its not that he is trying to figure out who pissed them off and who he should be yelling at.

he hates to admit it but he doesn’t like seeing them angry or upset. 

is probably gonna be first to realize that they slipped of to somewhere and start trying to find them right away. 

after checking a few other areas, Mammon finally considers they might have just gone home to hide. knocking on their door and slowly opening it mammon calls out into the room “Oi, human are you in here?”. 

“Go away Mammon” they were heard but very muffled as they had encased themselves in several blankets, clearly sounding like they were crying. unless they choose to eat gravel or something. 

“what’s got you so bumbed out?” Mammon said fully entering the room now know that they were in the room and completely ignoring their request to go away. 

“I said go away, I don’t want to talk about it” They said pulling the pillow to their head in hopes to block out more of the world. so that they didn’t have to look up and face the fact they were a hot mess. so mammon didn’t have to see them like this.

“no! the great mammon isn’t leaving till you say what's bothering you! that way I can fix it for you!” Mammon declared boldly. goofy grin on his face hoping that his optimism would help cheer them up. 

“you can’t fix this. you cant bring back the dead. well unless you use necromancy, but. that's never worked out” They had let out a dry laugh for saying all of this. but now they were holding back tears trying to not cry their heart out for a second time.

“oh human...” Mammon was at a loss of words, though to be fair he didn’t get the time to form a full sentence. 

“I’ll never get them back. they were practically an angel” they sniffled, trying to not sob. “my parent died mammon. what the fuck am I going to do?” they didn’t really expect an answer from mammon. 

“Listen here, the great mammon will deal with all the technical talk, and will make sure you can go to the human world long enough for you to do what you need to. but till then and maybe after, I’ll be here for you.” mammon explained simply. 

after letting out a chocked sob they reached out a hand and grabbed onto mammon's arm. “thank you” they sobbed out. mammon just sat there and patted the blanket pile gently trying to give as much comfort as he could. 

“do you want a hug?”

“please-”

Leviathan

since he hides away and does online classes (Correct me if im wrong) he might not even realize something is going on

unless he messages them and doesn’t get a response. 

will ask if the others have seen them and like will try to figure out where they were last seen.

eventually puzzles together that something is wrong and he should look for them

Satan

He although wrathful himself, isn’t able to see through the anger and might be a little annoyed about them for being so.

though he does understand that there is probably a reason for them being upset. he’ll do his best to figure out what caused them to act this way.

he’s stubborn and straight forward, he’ll probably be direct and ask what is wrong and wont leave till he gets an answer.

or he might occasionally bring it up and keep getting updates with how their doing kind of thing.

doesn’t really have to seek for them when they hide away because he watched them slip away and got worried and followed them

Asmodeus 

he is very quick to realize something more is going on, something more than meets the eye. 

probably doesn’t directly do anything at first other than same some sugar coated words in hopes it cheers them up.

when that doesn’t work, he gets very worried and tries to convince them to do somethings to ‘take your mind off of things’ 

knows exactly where to look to find them. first try!

Beelzebub

one of two ways, he either doesn’t notice anything for the first little bit, or he has a strange feeling nagging him that something is wrong and he tries to figure out what.

once its clear that they’ve disappeared he is quick to start looking, might take a while to find them because he is gonna check everywhere to find them.

bear hugs no questions asked, will try to comfort to the best of his abilities. 

will ask them what they want to do after a while to see what he can do to make them feel better

Belphegor

tbh honest probably knows something is up right away. 

with either avoid it entirely or bluntly ask what is wrong

if he doesn’t get a direct answer or is shooed away he doesn’t have the energy to push for the truth, might be a bit annoyed.

once he hears that they have gone missing it probably wont take him long to find them. 

will sit down next to them and be like ‘now will you tell me what is wrong?’

Solomon

since he doesn’t have the same amount of time with them he may not notice at first. or he does notice ASAP because holy shit what happened why are they so mad.

might try to inquire what is wrong and like use his natural charm to try to cheer them up. 

when he hears they are lost or missing ect. he uses magic to find them as quickly as possible. 

will do a bunch of considerably silly and goofy things trying to get them to smile or laugh before trying to get them to talk about whats bothering them

Simeon 

doesn’t take him long to figure out something is wrong, just one look and he knows

but other wise, he’ll simply ask if you want to talk about it. when bluntly rejected he’ll leave them alone

they go missing during the day? maybe it was worse than he first realized, he’ll go looking for them.

will find them within the hour, maybe a half hour if he’s lucky. 

mans will try to comfort them any way he can.

_____________________________________________________________ sorry, for not doing Diavolo, luke and barbatos, i just didn’t really have the time to do them nor could i figure out how to do ones for them so like aihogdsifh sorry. but i do hope you enjoy this post nonetheless. 

[glassartpeasants]

You Look Happier

Shigaraki x F!Reader x Overhaul

Warnings: Angst, toxic relationships, cheating

~~~

You sit on your boyfriends bed as a sigh escapes your lips. It’s been like this for as long as you could remember. You, sitting on the edge of his bed while he sat at his computer utterly ignoring your existence. You knew deep down he loved you, at least that’s what you hoped.

It felt like the same thing over and over and over again. You feel ignored and you go to ask your boyfriend for some time together then he just ends up yelling at you for making him die. It was a process that always repeats itself.

But no matter how much it pissed you off you always stayed. Why because to you, he was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. But you slowly were beginning to think he didn’t feel the same.

“Hey um, Tomura?” You asked as you gently tapped his shoulder which resulted in him slapping your arm away.

“What?” He said in a irritated tone.

“I was just wondering what you wanted for dinner...” You said quietly.

“McDonalds.”

“But, you ate that last night. Can i make you something a bit more healthier at least?” 

“You asked what i wanted and i said McDonalds.”

“Oh o-okay...” You voice sounding like a scolded puppy. You turn away and walk out to your car and turn the key.

~~~

Once you had gotten McDonalds you walk out of the store and go to your car...only to find it’s gone.

“W-what happened to my car?!” You gasped. Looking around to see no trace of it.

“I guess thats what i get for leaving the door unlocked...” You sigh as you felt tears prick against the corners of your eyes.

You begin moving your feet towards you home as tears stream down your face. First your boyfriend ignores you, then was being an asshole and now you’re car was stolen.

~~~

You could see your house from where you stood. After an hour of walking you made it home in no time. You sigh in relief before you felt a gun being pushed against your back.

“Give me all your money or i blow a hole through your damn chest.” More tears was coming out of your eyes.

“I-I dont have any money...it was stolen along with my car...” You’ve been to McDonalds so many times that you know the exact price of your boyfriends favorite food by heart. Thats why you only took some money from your wallet and left the rest in the car.

“Bullshit! You have McDonalds in your hands. I’m gonna say it one more time give me the money or I’ll-AHH!” A liquid hit your back and the feeling of the gun was no more. You turn around and saw a puddle of blood and a man with a plague mask next to it.

“Disgusting honestly-”

“Thank you so much sir!” You cried as you dropped to your knees. you held the fabric of your jeans in your hands as the McDonalds splatter all over the ground.

“Why didn’t you use your quirk? Everyone-”

“I don’t have one. So i guess you could say i was born unlucky.” You laughed trying to stop your tears.

“Quirkless eh? People go after you guys all the time since you have nobody to protect you.”

“I have a boyfriend but..he doesn’t seem to care about making me safe i guess,” You chuckle but your tears keep streaming as you look up at your savior.

“That’s unfortunate.” He looked down at you before scrubbing his arm.

“Not a fan of germs I see?” You smile up at him.

“No.”

“Well i guess im not a fan of germs myself haha..” You get up and look at him smiling even through your tears.

“Ah i see.” You only giggle making him raise an eyebrow before you hear your ringtone that you set for your boyfriend. You laugh nervously before picking up the call and the first thing you were greeted by was yelling.

“Where the hell are you?!” You boyfriend screeched.

“I’m s-sorry. My car got stolen and i had to walk back.” You said facing away from the man that saved you not seeing him furrow his brows.

“Well it’s probably cold now!”

“I’m sorry, I’ll try harder next time...I love yo-” Your boyfriend hung up the phone before you could finish.

“I’m sorry you had to see that sir, it’s best i be going now.” You said grabbing the McDonalds and throwing it away.

“Here.” You turn around and saw him holding a piece of paper. You grab and see a number on it.

“Thank-” You look around and see the once mysterious man disappear. Even if he was gone you couldn’t help the smile on your face. Maybe you would actually have a friend that didn’t ditch you after you got a boyfriend.

~~~

“Hey...I’m back...” You said opening the door to your apartment only to hear rough moaning coming from your you and your boyfriends shared bedroom.

You tip toe towards your room and put your ear towards the door only for a blood consuming sadness washed over you.

“I can’t wait to meet you next week! All this online sex is getting boring.” A feminine voice rang. 

“Yeah just gotta make sure my girlfriend wont suspect anything.” Thats when you lost your shit. You kicked open the door and stomped your feet all the way over to your shitty boyfriend.

“Get.The.Fuck.Out.” You said grabbing him by his collar and yanking him out of his chair and turning his computer off. 

“You look so much happier with her! Go be her boyfriend for all I care! I’m sick and tired of doing everything for you only to be treating like crap. Tell me Shigaraki Tomura, did you ever love me.”

“W-what?”

“YOU FUCKING HEARD ME!” You screamed at him, tears rushing down your eyes and onto the hardwood floor. Making a tiny puddle.

“I did...”

“Then why?” You said as you felt your entire world start to crash around you. 

“...”

“I can’t believe i even wanted to marry you! Have kids with you! I can’t believe i even thought a selfish prick like yourself was capable of love!” Shigaraki’s eyes widened. He was at a lost for words. You wanted to be together forever. You wanted to start a family with him. And now because he was so closed off and refused to believe you truly loved him he ruined it. He was so stubborn and in denial that you truly loved him he destroyed the only person who would have cared for him in his darkest days.

“I’m giving you 2 hours to get your shit and leave. Stay here any later and im calling the cops.” You said before walking out of your bedroom and going to the kitchen.

~~~

2 hours were almost up and Shigaraki had all his stuff packed. Everything he owned was out the door except for a necklace that you had given him for his birthday. It had a picture of you and him in it. He shivered as he remembered the day you took it.

He stepped out of the bedroom and went to go to the front door where he saw you in the kitchen. Tears whelmed up in his eyes before turning around to leave.

“I paid for that locket. Leave it here or destroy it.” He froze in place. Did you really mean it? Couldn’t he have just one memory of a good time you both had?

“You don’t deserve to remember me.” Shigaraki started to shake as he held onto the locket tighter. He held on it like his life depended on it before he felt it slip through his grasp. He turned around only to see you holing the chain in your hand as the locket dangled in front of him.

“Please give it back...” His voice sounding so weak and vulnerable. His heart pounded in his chest before stopping as he saw you throw the locket to the ground and stepping on it making the locket break to the point of no return.

“There I did it for you.” You said before grabbing the back of his shirt and tossing him out of the door and shutting it. Making sure he heard you turning the lock.

~~~

1 year later

Your laughter was music to the mans ears. Ever since he met you on that day where he saved you from being robbed he couldn’t get you out of his mind.

After he heard about your breakup he swooped in and immediately was your shoulder to cry on. He didn’t know what it was about you. You were just his everything after he met you. Pretty much to the point where it annoyed him.

“You jacket looks cleaner today, did you wash it?” Boom there it was. Everything you said and did always made him fall deeper in love. 

“Why I did thank you for noticing, by the way, I have a meeting tomorrow with someone and i was wondering if you would like to accompany me?”

“Of course! I would do anything for you Kai!” You said smiling as you wrapped your fingers in his gloved hand before brushing your cheek into his sleeve.

“You know you look so much happier then you did when i first met you.”

“Well before then I didn’t have you!” You giggle before planting a kiss on his mask making him blush a bit. You never kissed him on his skin only on his mask. Which he greatly appreciated but he did want to feel your lips on his once.

~~~

You and your boyfriend sat on the couch while you heard footsteps coming closer to the door. You scoot closer towards your now boyfriend and intertwined his gloved finger with yours. Making him hold your hand tighter.

“Right this way.”

“Fine whatev-” Silence. There stood your ex boyfriend Tomura Shigaraki. He looked so much different. Your once happy face slowly dropped to a emotionless one. No noise was made as Shigaraki made his way to his seat.

“Now Shigaraki lets talk.”

Overhauls voice meant nothing to him. All he could do was stare at you behind father. And you knew he was staring at you too. He couldn’t believe it. His ex girlfriend, the one who he let get away, was with Overhaul.

What hurt the worse is that while shigaraki was in Overhauls office he noticed all sorts of pictures of you two together. Smiling and happy with one another.

When was the last time you smiled at him like that?

“Shigaraki! Are you even listening?” Overhauls voice dragged him out of his thoughts.

“Yes.”

“Good, now I have a question for you.”

“What?”

“Why are you staring at my girlfriend?”

“Because she looks happier.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I think you know...” 

[miyaniacs]

this will be so much fun!!!

OKAY SOOO I’LL DO SOME OF MY FAVES FOR THIS ONE OKAY?

(repost bc it took too much time to write this to not show up in the tags numbers of failed attempts: 2 )

warnings: I guess slight nsfw and me being tipsy while writing this , all characters are 18+

characters: Kurro, Akaashi, Kenma, Oikawa, Bokuto, Ushijima, Iwaizumi, Osamu, Atsumu, Sakusa

masterlist

HC The boys find out their crush is a cam girl / has an onlyfans account

Kuroo

AYT NOW LISTEN

it was late at night and he couldn’t sleep so ... there is one thing he hasn't tried yet...

now he’s on some popular cam girl website and scrolling through the different cams

then he stops

this one girl seems familiar

he clicks on it and

JACKPOT ?! its YOU ??? HIS CRUSH ???!

but OMG. he had the best night of his life sweety

but still.. he will now definitely ask you out on a date tomorrow.

after seeing your beautiful body and the way you moan and move

HONEY NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO SEE THIS AGAIN

other than that he probably thinks it’s hot af that you are a cam girl

I mean Kuroo aka pornstar

he loves the fact that you the sweetheart for anyone else but could be the pornstar just for him

smug af the next day he sees you from afar

shy af the second you come over

Akaashi

HE DID NOT OPEN THIS TAB OKAY

he did tho but HE DID NOT OKAY?

OKAY!

so anyway - his browser magically opened his one website

and he just hear someone talk

he recognised the voice but - NO... this can’t be you right?

yeah jokes on him

he chocked on his on salvia when you walk in the view of the camera wearing nothing but some sexy black lingerie

GURL. BITCH THOUGHT YOU WERE A BABY?!

but now he knows you aren't

you definitely aren't

but he now wants you to be his babygirl

and he wants to look away.. but he can’t

soooooo ..... yeah. he had some fun that night

wasn’t sure how to look into your eyes the next time he saw you tho

Kenma

he did not find you

Kuroo did

and yes he immediately sent him the link with a voice memo of him basically just screaming

the said link lent to an onlyfans account

despite the fake user name, he instantly recognises the birth mark on your arm

yes the many times he watched you when you all were out with friends made him recognise this stuff

so did he pay to see the rest of the pictures and videos?

yes.

was he embarrassed?

oh hell yes.

was he still enjoying it?

yes.

is he now able to look into your eyes?

no.

Kuroo has to do all the magic to make him speak to you now - because you are, despite the account you got, still a shy bean who can’t talk to her crush

Oikawa

screams in the middle of the goddamn night

you - you just brought him chocolate a few hours ago?

and now your stripping in front of him? I mean you don't know that he's watching since you just do it in front of the cam

his little oik-oik is growing

he thought you were innocent?

will sent the link to IWA-CHAN

with a “LOOK AT MY CRUSH OMG”

after your lingerie is off and you took out a toy he sent another message

“WAIT NO DONT LOOK AT HER”

he will be all cocky tho when he sees you the next time

you walk up to him, saying a cute and shy “hello” and he’s just

“you haven’t been this shy last night”

you panic and run away which results in him panicking running after you screaming apologises

Bokuto

He is hyped

OMG

Poor Akaashi will probably know about all of this too

he has so much fun watching you online - imagining that you are here with him at this moment doing all of this just for him

which you secretly do since you’re also imagine him watching this

will open this website more often the following days then he would admit

i’m not sinning that much to actually write down the stuff that’s going on in his head

the next time he sees you

he does question if it was really you who he saw online

you are nothing like the girl he saw there

SOOOOOOO he straight up ask you

“hey y/n !!! are you (your username)” he smiles and tilts his head

you just black out

Ushijima

again poor baby

Tendou and Semi told him to visit this site - hot farmers advice

this baby thought he’d actually learn something he could tell you - his crush - since you recently TOLD HIM that you try to grow some tomatoes

but when the site finished loading

HE WAS NOT EXPECTING TO SEE YOU ON THERE

with nothing less than lingerie, an oversized plaid shirt AND a straw hat

you’re on all fours and the way you move and moan and talk to the camera

he wasn't really taking note of where his hand is wandering rn

soon after, you are now without a bra, he finds himself rock hard

the next day you tell him about your tomatoes WHICH ARE GROWING (!!!) he gets red af and just leaves

you look confused at a laughing Semi and Tendou rolling on the floor

Iwaizumi

he usually doesn’t do this stuff... but... it was some time until he got some

and he just wants you - so he doesn't want to hook up with some random girl

you’re pure and innocent and he accepts this and will wait for you too feel comfy enough so he can ask you out on a date

anyways he’s at this random website

and switches trough the channels to find someone he likes

and he chocks.

THIS CANT BE

YOU

he actually was about to text Oikawa but then stopped because Oikawa

he starred at the screen not even blinking

his hand is moving so fast

and all the things you say and the way you tease your viewers

omg

hny

he really wants to fuck some manners in you okay?!

awkward af the next day he sees you tho

yes talking about blushing IWA-CHAN

Osamu

his Laptop was broken

so he used Atsumu’s

WHO left this tab open

he let out a small scream, his normally stoic face falling

WHY ARE YOU NAKED ON HIS BROTHERS LAPTOP

now he sees that it’s an only fans

WHY IS HIS BROTHER PAYING TO SEE HIS CRUSH NAKED

but hey.. Atsumu’s not home... and he told him it’s okay to use his laptop..

a few minutes later he’s already worked up watching your beautiful body, his eyes following every movement of yours

he can’t really comprehend that you are the same girl that always comes to his shop, always stuttering and nervous while talking to him?

BUT HELL WAS HE ENJOYING IT

and those pictures of you in this maid uniform.

OH AND IS THIS CHOCOLATE ON YOUR BOOBIES

his imagination went wild

“OY i see you’re enjoying my present?” - Atsumu came back home

Atsumu

I mean it’s canon that he watches porn and is paying for some cam girls right?

so he’s looking for some now that look more like you - his crush.

someone cute and innocent

Gosh he loves it how easily you get flustered when he flirts with you

this one looks promising he thinks

and hell was it promising

it was you

surprise surprise

he was blushing for a whole minute baby

THAT ASS ?!

how tf have you hid that all the time?

SO many dirty thoughts

SOOOO MANY

will def call Osamu to his room

after he finished this lil problem down there obviously

Osamu is grossed out - he thought you are cool  and now he can’t look at you the same way

Atsumu tho - wont get that much sleep that night, your body and all the thing’s he’d do to you circling in his head keeping him up

is Atsumu enjoying this way too much the next day he sees you? Obviously YES

he will walk up to you, flirting, and when he’s about to leave he adds

“How about you skip todays stream and put on a show just for me?”

Sakusa

IT. WAS. NOT. HIS. IDEA.

Ratsumu sent him a link

our poor boy thought it was about volleyball and not something so dirty

he was CLEANING HIS ROOM WHEN HE OPEND IT

with the cleaning product you suggested to him

and now he sees you on his phone also cleaning

but with - with NOTHING ON ?!

he dopes the products and sits down on his bed - he knew you are beautiful but damn.. this hits different.

you with some MR. PROPER and WINDEX

PUHHH his fantasy is running wild WILD now that he sees you.. move .. and cleaning some of your toys and well

.... he needs to change the sheets and cleans again afterwards

ok so the next day... Atsumu already told you that he knows about your dirty little secret and that he sent it Sakusa to “help you two ”

Sakusa came and looked at you disgusted “You're dirty even tho you’re cleaning? that wasn't the way you’re supposed to uses those items.” he adds

“Then make me pure again?” you return ( @tendouthighs​​ about Sakusa) “- and show me how to properly use them”

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

sometime in this last week, or this week coming, my blog has turned/turns 10. god. a decade old. a whole ass chunk of my life i’ve spent on this hellsite. when i began on here, i was a kid. a lost, lonely, depressed and anxious 15/16 year old kid. a kid scared of her future. a kid confused about her future. what to do for uni. to change schools or not??? to do drama/acting at uni or english/philosophy or to move 8hrs away to another regional uni to “escape” her “washed up, dead end hometown” that was so typical of all the pop-punk music that she was listening to at the time.

she was a tad overdramatic, loud, “funny” (as described by her school friends) and terribly forgetful in regards to homework and school assignments. she was angry at the world, most especially the catholic school she was fucking sick and tired of attending. but she was convinced that since she was the so-called “funny girl”, that she simply couldn’t be depressed or anxious. she believed herself unloveable because she didn’t look like a weird mixture of hayley williams and emo-pop queen lights. but now, i no longer believe that i have to look like the women that i looked up to in the ~emo scene~. fuck beauty standards. i am loveable.

in the years since joining tumblr, i’ve managed to get through business college, my undergrad degree and, well, failed out of postgrad due to obvious burnout and health issues amongst other things. although i’ve lost many friends irl and many followers/mutuals online on here. for those who’ve stuck around to see me get through all of this, thank you. to all the friends/casual mutuals that have since deactivated or only followed me for a short time then unfollowed; thank you.

like obviously i was never/have never been a massive popular blog on here, like thebootydiaries or vampireapologist (who has since deactivated a couple of months ago) with tens of thousands of followers. my follower count is still close to the 8,000 range at 7,892. obviously that’s still a lot of people (and of course, porn bots lmao and many, many non-active blogs), enough like one super old post from like 2012 tumblr pointed out, enough for a small to medium sized city or town, or something like that. i don’t know how many people i’ve really reached. i really don’t know how i actually amassed this small army of people.

i am aware though, that on other platforms like snapchat (lmao does anyone even use it anymore in 2021???)/instagram/youtube/tiktok etc, i’d PROBABLY be considered as some type of ~micro influencer (🤮🤮)~. hell, i actually had a bot slide into my notes about being one on here on this hellsite back in 2019. i don’t know if i’ve ever actually ~influenced~ anyone on here with my shitposts (when i started making some) or my personal posts. i don’t know my reach. even though, now, i do occasionally get featured on buzzfeed listicles (although pay me buzzfeed along with the OPs of those original embedded posts), i still don’t know how many people i’ve reached… and even with my very occasional checks of google analytics lmao. on top of this, grappling with the loss of followers at times is much, much easier than it was when i began on here and the first few years following that. i know that my follower count doesn’t determine my worth and stuff.

but over these 10 years, i have grown. i turn 26 this year. back in 2011, 15/16yo me never thought she’d be here. she was partially down the suicidal thoughts hole, with things about ~picturing her funeral and wondering who’d bother to turn up. if only she could pretend to be dead for a day to see who’d give a fuck~ and 16-18yo me was defs down it with her HSC hellscape thoughts in 2012/2013. that 3rd floor tafe/tech women’s bathroom window drop and the thought of scarring her class for life (and that cool dude from catholic school that she crushed on who ended up at tafe with her) with jumping out of it onto the concrete below. instead, she just posted on fb about ~being a failure~ etc which ultimately did lose her a bunch of facebook friends lmao. it was practically the same thing. her mental breakdown after the end of her hsc, where she let her earrings go green and get infected in her ears because “fuck self care, bc what the fuck is it??? i’ll never get better! let me fucking wallow in my self loathing bc it’s the only thing that i’m fucking good at!!!” so i no longer have my ears pierced. oh! it was just all too fucking much!!

i am happier today. i no longer have those semi-suicidal thoughts. hell, i almost died in 2020 from a fucking bowel aneurysm, after my stomach tumour excision surgery. that forced me to put things into perspective. i appreciate the little things . i appreciate the very few friends that i actually have. yes. i’m still depressed and anxious. some days are still shitty and hard. but nowhere as hard and shitty as they were back when i began on here 10 years ago.

how the fuck last 10 years have gone past, with my ass on here; clearing out my blog and caring more about doing that than my uni work (lmao whoops); having made some lifelong friends both internationally (from the US) and long distance domestically in australia, it’s been a long ride; i honestly have no fucking idea. obviously over these past 10 years, i’ve debated with myself over and over and over again whether i should delete/deactivate this account or not. would it make me healthier??? more than likely. but then when i have meltdowns or just inner ramblings i have to get out somewhere, where else to post??? on fb?? obvs not. it’s “attention seeking” or the like on there. no one will read them. no one will resonate. but on here??? even if i got/get one “like” in the notes or one “yo i feel this” response in the tags or replies, it feels like i’ve reached someone??? okay yeah. i know this place IS NOT therapy and i’m not using my followers as amateur (or probs even actual professional) armchair psychologists…. which is a thing i think people need to stop doing internet-wide: but that’s a whole other post that i reblogged a few days ago lmao. i really need to get another therapist, actually lmao.

but it’s the community i’ve found hard to leave. i have what feel like friends, when i’ve never been employed (still as of yet); and when all of my irl friends/acquaintances are working and doing the whole ~adulting~ and ~grown up life~ thing right. it’s also the frenzied rabidness of spite with hating staff’s godawful ideas. the memes. oh the memes. and also the RaWrInG 20s XD emo scene reemergence on here that’s kept me here. the messy petty drama from time to time of big blogs fighting it out.

this place really is bizarre and fun sometimes. and also the fact that i can still hide behind the ridiculous “roaring pikachu” URL that i made all those years ago. i am anonymous. it’s freeing. but on fb it’s all like “WHY WONT YOU ADD A BANNER IMAGE AND TELL US 20 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU!!!!!???? LET PEOPLE WHO HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU IN 10 YEARS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!!!” and the same goes for Corporate Hellscape Facebook™️ (linkedin) but in the professional sense instead. y’all know fuck all about me really. besides my posts. and i love that and live for that. okay yeah. y’all know more about my mental health than my fb feed obvs… which is probably a terribly unfortunate thing. but still.

over the last 10 years then, my superiority complex for being ~so original and intelligent~ or whatever the fuck i had in high school, has all but ebbed away. i’m not that smart just because i went to uni. hell, i literally did NONE of my in-class work and none of my philosophy readings in uni….. so i have fuck all idea of how i got through undergrad like that lmao. i’m not original when so many people can articulate the same thoughts that i have, but like, sometimes better, on a post (even though sometimes/most of the time the Tumblr User Hot Takes Tuesday™️ takes on here are fucking awful lmao). but still. originality is not something i really have anymore. or really had in the first place lmao.

so will i deactivate after these 10 years, like i’ve been saying for so, so long??? i honestly have no idea. but just know. thanks guise. have a nice gpoy selfie day XD. grab your wands. your tardises. grab your war paint. grab your whatever the fuck other fandom specific stuff that was one that hella cringe post from 2011 til 2015 random tumblr. that relic is as old as time itself. just as this mysterious roaring pikachu is for someone whose too loyal to leave this W E B B E D H E L L S I T E that’s just as much of a train wreck as she is. lmao.