#so would Vince Vaughn actually

[mostlyjustgoose]

one thing about this season of d20 that is absolutely driving me up the wall is how easily I can imagine Bruce Willis, at the height of his powers, effortlessly channeling Paula Donvaldson trying to pilot his body. it would have been one of the great comedy performances of all time. Oscar-worthy. he had the comedic chops, he could absolutely have sold being a thirsty middle-aged divorced lady security guard suddenly dropped into the body of an action hero!

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

What do you see happening to Harry when the inevitable divorce happens? The kids will be in the US so he can't really move to the UK. Though he doesn't seem that attached to them considering how much he travels and is away from them. Would he be set up in the UK if he did return? What is there to be done with him? He can't return as an official working royal even if Charles refuses to remove him from the website. He obviously needs someone to babysit him so he can't just be let left alone. Would he just play polo until he's too old? I wonder if the BRF actually have a plan if he was to return because I can't think what they'd do with him.

Ask from August 3rd

There are three and a half options for Harry post-divorce if it should happen.

Option 1: if Meghan gets custody of the kids and keeps them in the US, he’ll stay in the US, probably remaining in the LA area or moving up to his corporate BetterUp apartment in San Francisco and commuting down to LA when it’s his custody time. There is a chance he could move to New York since the East Coast is more “old money” and he probably fits in better, society-wise, there (but I think it’s a very low chance). Harry will continue being the BetterUp mascot and travel all over the world playing polo and “running” Invictus Games. He’ll be like a Vince Vaughn/Jon Hamm-type character (perpetual bachelor, kinda dickish but without the charm), still very much living with PTSD, and the kind of weekend dad who’s all fun and games so Meghan/the nannies will always be the bad guys.

Harry will probably trauma-bond to the first woman that can get her claws in him and it’ll probably be another Meghan/Durek-type (holistic, new agey, controlling). I don’t think they’ll marry because Meghan will make their lives a living hell being that close. (But good news, Meghan will probably move her target from Kate to the new girlfriend.)

Option 1B: If by some miracle Harry gets out of California and moves someplace else in the US - like to NYC/northeast, Texas, or Jackson Hole, then he might not be as dickish and might actually level out from all the mental health trauma Meghan put him through. The risk is still high for him to be with a new agey/holistic woman but she’s probably be more of a Shannon Beador-type (from Real Housewives of Orange County; well-meaning but kinda nutty) than a charlatan grifter-type and I can see her influence being calmer and more stabilizing on Harry, perhaps even to the point that he stops the constant PR blitz and just lives his life. If this is what happens, then there’s a good chance that Charles and Eugenie could reach out and relations with the BRF thaw out to the point that Harry can see people when he goes to the UK for “work” instead of getting the door slammed in his face.

Option 2: If Harry gets custody of the kids or the kids go to a UK boarding school, he’ll go back to the UK and be welcomed back in on the family side. No royal work and no public engagements/appearances unless the entire BRF is there (eg, like the Platinum Jubilee service) or it’s exclusively a private family event (like the Easter and Christmas walks). King Charles will throw Harry a bone every once in a while by supporting Invictus Games. His mental health will be addressed and Harry will probably begin healing from all this trauma so he may not be dickish at all, just his usual entitled prince self which someone, probably younger and blonder, will eventually find charming and she’ll “take over” Harry for the BRF in return for a cushy paid-for life (allegedly this is what they offered Meghan but Meghan wasn’t aware of how bad Harry’s mental health was and kept demanding more and more money to stay).

Since it sounds like Harry is pivoting again to the Spencers, he’ll probably settle close to them near Althorp (otherwise King Charles will probably buy a lease for him at/around Highgrove House since William never goes there). Maybe Earl Spencer will take pity and give Harry a small cottage house on the Althorp estate (if there are any).

William might thaw out eventually but their relationship will never be the same and Harry won’t ever be back in the Waleses’ inner circle, and of course, it will depend on whether Harry continues all of his PR. (If Harry continues PR and continues using William for PR, there’s no thawing but if Harry shuts up and stops talking to press, he has a chance of William acknowledging he exists.)

Option 3: Harry moves to Africa or someplace else in the Commonwealth, regardless of custody rulings. Probably the best option for Harry. He just needs to get far, far away from the press, Meghan, and the BRF as possible, reset, and start over. King Charles will take care of/pay for everything. King William will probably continue supporting Harry in this case since it keeps him away from the UK but again, the issue is PR. If Harry stops talking to the press, then his chances with William are better. If he keeps talking to the press, he keeps running PR stories about olive branches or the good old days or wanting to come back, then nothing will change.

[sharpth1ng]

what would squilliam and shoehorn think of the stab movies?

So in-universe they're considered kind of bad and trashy when they come out, and from what we see they play in to a lot of the cheesy slasher tropes that scream subverts (ex. turning Casey's death into a shower scene for no reason). Later on in the franchise we find out they've developed a cult following, and from what we see of them on screen they're very campy. There's lots of movies IRL that follow this pattern going from bomb to cult classic: Dead Alive, The Thing, Slither, Phantom of the Paradise, ect, ect.

We also know that at least the first 3 Stab movies are directed by Robert Rodriguez who is a real (and kind of awesome) director known for stuff like From Dusk Till Dawn, Spy Kids, Machete, Sin City, and Planet Terror. I genuinely like a lot of his work but its pretty over the top, over campy, silly, fun so I think that gives us a sense of how those first three Stab movies feel.

We also know that Stab 8 was directed by Rian Johnson, director of Knives Out, Glass Onion, and the TV show Poker Face- all stuff that can have a bit of a lighter tone, not devoid of camp, but generally movies that take themselves a little more seriously. To illustrate the difference between these guys I could imagine Rian Johnson actually directing a modern Scream movie, but I can't really see Robert Rodriguez doing the same. This is far from an insult to Robert Rodriguez by the way, I just think his style is better suited to other stuff. So I think probably the later Stab movies feel a bit more like the Scream movies, while the earlier ones exist in a different media space.

To recap, based on what we see in the Scream movies, Stab is a bit cheesy and trashy, pretty campy, but they do ultimately develop an audience later on. So far, this sounds like something Stu would be into tbh, I think he likes the silly stuff as much as the really fucked up stuff, and the fact that its based on his own story would be hilarious to him. Like he would find it so fucking funny that they inserted a random shower scene in for Casey, and he would find his own portrayal by Vince Vaughn to be hilarious.

Billy is another story. I do think that Billy can enjoy a sillier slasher, especially if it has other stuff going for it (eg. gore, creative kills ect, insane body horror), but he can't buy in to the same amount of ridiculousness as Stu can. Beyond that there's the fact that the Stab movies are a bastardization of his story, like Billy already considers the massacre his movie, so the Stab movies are a bad remake to him. I think especially the idea that his killings aren't being taken seriously would aggravate him.

And then there's the fact that he's played by Luke Wilson. And like. Listen. I don't have anything against Luke Wilson, I know very little about him but I know Billy Wouldn't be happy about this:

Honestly I don't know who they could have cast as Billy that wouldn't have pissed him off. I think that as much as he would want the notoriety of his story being adapted into a movie, he would functionally enjoy being portrayed by someone else.

In the context of my writing, where he and Stu survive this is especially true because the Stab movies in Debaserverse will have Billy and Stu as final boys. Realistically this means they'll be shoved into tropey archetypes, a number of which Billy would hate for himself.

Stab is absolutely going to come into play in WoM by the way! I won't go into much detail about that right now but let it be known. There will be Stab.

[rubyvroom]

The Halloween 2024 roster so far: leaning pretty heavily on new and indie horror this year. I actually liked most of these to some degree or other. Lots of unexpected sci-fi but I'm not complaining.

The Company of Wolves - beautiful, dreamlike, features not one but two of the craziest werewolf transformations I've ever seen. Mr. X insists this is not a horror film, but it has an Angela Carter screenplay and werewolves, so I say it counts.

Deathstream - Horror comedy with a very convincing YouTube channel spending the night alone in a haunted house. Some legitimately funny bits here and good use of the premise.

Army of Darkness - I've heard the quotes for many years but I had never actually seen the movie until now. Bruce Campbell really should have been allowed to star in more films. I enjoyed every minute of this, allowing for the bog-standard 80s-90s misogyny.

Speak No Evil (Denmark) - I am not watching the US one if they changed the ending. The ending is the entire point. It's a commentary on Danish society and if you couldn't adapt that to the US then why are you remaking the movie? Stop wasting my time. Anyway this was great. Frustrating, but again, that's the point.

Happy Death Day - Better than expected. Groundhog's Day slasher, has fun with the premise. The actress sells it.

Happy Death Day 2 - The same but make it sci-fi.

Synchronic - Cool concept, which I don't want to spoil too much except to say it's about a convenience store drug with an unexpected side effect. A little lazy as a film but I enjoy watching Anthony Mackie do his thing.

Something in the Dirt - This film and the one before are from the guys who made Resolution and The Endless. Neither are as good as those but worth seeing if you liked their other films. This film is again a sci-fi scenario, sort of cross-polinated with William Friedkin's Bug.

Bodies Bodies Bodies - Takes the slasher theme of "insufferable youths die one at a time" to its natural conclusion. Perfect casting. Had a great time with this.

I Saw the TV Glow - Magical, haunting, endlessly sad. Still thinking about it.

Oddity - NO THANK YOU SCARY WOODEN DOLL. THIS MADE ME UNCOMFORTABLE.

Freaky - Another comedy horror, a body-swap where a teenage slasher victim swaps bodies with the killer. Resulting in Vince Vaughn portraying a teenage girl and taking it pretty seriously? Like he's all in? But I enjoyed the teenage girl serial killer even more.

Abigail - The trailer gives most of the plot away but it's still really fun and the ballet really adds to the action scenes. Cast is really good. Goes in a couple unexpected directions, one of which had me saying oh THAT'S why Dan Stevens is in this, now I understand.

Hold Your Breath - Kind of meh but the setting itself was engrossing, in the middle of the dustbowl farmlands. Sarah Paulson doing the most again.

She Will - Lowkey involving, though I've forgotten most of what happens.

Immaculate - Search your feelings. Are you willing to cheer on a priest being strangled by his own rosary? If so, watch this immediately. As a heathen I found it, as Glen Weldon would say, a hoot and a half.

Caddo Lake - Did you like Dark, the twisty and moody german tv show? This is the American version. I mean it's not but it very much is.

Ghostwatch - the legendary banned BBC broadcast, which you can now watch on Prime, is still pretty effective.

The Dark and the Wicked - This was trying waaaaaay too hard to be Hereditary. Didn't really enjoy it.

We Are All Going to the World's Fair - Mr. X slept through this but I was hypnotized by it. There are two kinds of people.

Maxxxine - Not as good as X or Pearl, and it if was a stand-alone film it would be pretty incoherent. But it is very stylish and has a lot of fun with the 80s LA setting, and I can watch Mia Goth do her thing all day long.

Suspiria - Legendary. Loved it. When did we stop using COLORS in movies?

Longlegs - this one at least remembers the color red, for the very striking opening. It runs out of steam a little bit throughout but pretty exciting for a lot of the run. Liked the probably-autistic protagonist a lot. There are some Nicolas Cagisms and I never for a moment forgot it was him, but he does have some genuinely frightening moments.

The Quatermass Experiment - Most of my favorite things were influenced by this so figured it was time to check it out. Glad I did. Fascinating and makes good use of its low budget. Free on Youtube!

Eyes Without a Face - I may have had some nightmares after this.

Glorious - Surprise, you got some cosmic horror in your rest stop bathroom freakout, and JK Simmons is here!

Next on the list is probably Possession which I fully anticipate is gonna fuck me up.

Top films so far? Suspiria, Eyes Without a Face, Longlegs, I Saw the TV Glow, Bodies Bodies Bodies

[tomswifty-fr]

Okay. Lord. The updates not even fully up but

Andrew. Canonically lost his wings, let's see if they come up with wing enhancements.

Leo has a prosthetic arm, currently represented by an accent but maybe one of these will look better???? The cinnabar one would look SO good with his color scheme

It would actually be really fun to make Vaughn and Bince (evil alternate universe versions of Bonnie and Vince) cyborgs

If they make a green version for suuuuure get Sherman some cybergear

Bedlam! Is a cyborg already! I'm satisfied with his look but hey always down to experiment, the purple ones might look good esp the jaw

Ditto for Linsey, except the purple part and the jaw part

Some of the more vehicle-oriented SSMC members, like Ilux

The NEMESIS crew

[gaast]

I didn't know posts like these still circulated... Got tagged by @cannibalise and am in a really good mood so I'm gonna play, lmao

Last song I listened to: "Modest Mouth," Neil Cicierega, Mouth Sounds.

Currently watching: What, like, a TV show? I haven't watched a TV show in years. I'm playing Tales of Hearts R and Link's Awakening DX HD, I'm reading The Infinite and the Divine, I'm writing about another grafting monster, I'm working on learning Django and Raspberry Pi stuff and related projects and also a stupid mod, and I'm looking for anyone who wants to hire a really expensive and lazy technical writer.

Sweet/savory/spicy: Everything has its time and its place. I will never take sides when three of the baddest bitches are pitted against each other. I've evolved beyond this.

Relationship status: I legitimately forgot this one until I was tagging because I was so excited to see what would come out of me for the next one. Anyway, I'm engaged.

Current obsession: AFK Journey and AFK Arena, maybe. Also, Python, modding Isaac, making really weird dumb involved elaborate jokes. I want Pando to be my obsession, though. I wanna be "the Pando ghost." Oh also autopsies, I haven't forgotten about autopsies!! Or anthropodermic bibliopegy!! Or esolangs!!! Or eels!!!! Fuck!!!!! I want to be obsessed with shit and I'm barely obsessed at all!!!! I feel like John Nash, I need to be a fucked up unmedicated freak in order to reach my full potential!!! I think Russel Crowe did a really good job in A Beautiful Mind but I fucking hate John Nash tbh. Also it fucking sucks that that film has to continue the trend of "electroconvulsive therapy is BAD uwu!!!" Fuck you. It has a fantastic success rate with only mild side effects. It isn't done like how the fucking film shows it. Imagine making A Beautiful Mind and still being an ableist about it. Oh wait a minute that's John Nash for you!!! Also while I'm talking about movies like this, one of my most hated films of all time is Rudy. I cannot STAND that movie. Look, I love Sean Astin. I love The Goonies. He does a great job in that role. But oh my fucking god if that's what Rudy was really like then I hate him so much. All of that effort. All of it. For what? The love of a father who only gives a fucking shit about FOOTBALL? I love football too but imagine VALIDATING the concept that you're only of worth to your PARENT if you FUCKING DEVOTE YOURSELF SOLELY TO THEIR ONLY INTEREST. The fucking dude didn't even CARE that his son actually fucking MADE the Fighting Irish unless he PLAYED and like, dude, it's FOOTBALL, your five-foot nothing son could get fucking KILLED out there, and he's doing it all for YOU, and you don't deserve it!!! But I'm mad at Rudy more!!! I hate him more!!!!! STOP TRYING TO PLEASE A MAN WHOSE DICK WILL NEVER BE DEEP ENOUGH IN YOUR THROAT. GROW THE FUCK UP. YOUR DAD SUCKS. HE SUCKS. YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST KISSED VINCE VAUGHN!!!!!!!!! God that movie blows. If you wanna watch a movie, fucking, watch, uh. I don't remember what movies I like. Fuck you.

Tagging: @monadolaguz, @babyraccy, @vendettagreen, @tmos-time, @geckobrains, @crowtrobot @torterracotta @izanameowe

[s3plan]

Vincent again...

(translation of this post from the official Bleckmossen blogspot, made by Carromic on march 23rd, 2011)

Like I've said before, Vincent is my favorite villain in Bleckmossen. He's so vain and silly and sometimes straight-up brutal. He seems to care a lot about his little brother Joen, and even more about his appearance. He also seems to take it as a compliment every time someone mistakes him for a girl... haha, how can you not like such a wacky character?

Usually when I draw him I tend to think about body language. What I mean is, I always draw him in very girly poses and try to give him a sort of feminine quality. He just feels like a really girly guy in some way. And that's exactly how Vincent loves to be!

The name Vincent means "victorious" and has existed in Sweden since the 1400s. Today there are 2005 people in Sweden named Vincent. Vincents name-day is January 22nd.

There's actually a lot of famous people in the world named Vincent. For starters, there's an American actor who's shortened down 'Vincent Vaughn' to 'Vince Vaughn'. (He was in the movie Wedding Crashers and a bunch of other ones) and there's the famous painter Vincent van Gogh who painted a lot of sunflowers and cut off his own ear. And then of course we have Vincent Damon Furnier... But everyone knows his stage name better; Alice Cooper. Vincent Motorcycles was a company in England that made a bunch of motorcycles - now THAT is something our Vincent would absolutely love...Who knows, maybe the motorcycle Vincent rides around on in the comic IS a Vincent Motorcycles-motorcycle..?

//Carromic

[nonooddo]

"That sure is an Odd'o tune coming from our HOA....!"

There is something really rotten about an HOA that takes the side of a developer who wants to scar the very neighborhood that the HOA 'represents'...!

Lately the stench of 'developer' seems to seep through all the emails, texts, letter, web postings and conversations from our HOA... But that should surprise no one. No one who has ever looked at the Cedar Creek documents and sees who's really in control of our supposed Home Owners' Association.

The Cedar Creek network of layers, appointees, companies, voting and non-voting reps, villages, incorporated entities and 'Development Company' Front organizations makes reading the CC&R a real headache-inducing exercise.

Something that ought to be as simple as 'One Household + one vote = election of the HOA Board' is instead more mysterious than picking a new Pope in the middle ages and more complex than the election of the Doge of Venice (look it up!).

All of this because someone (or a couple of people actually) want to keep control of our HOA - WELL PAST their sell-by Date!

As a premier set of neighborhoods we represent a big seat at the regional players' table for our controllers. They get to lord it over all of us, and direct spending, control our assets and even sell us land that the same people then still stay in control of...! Its like a Vegas magic show - but much, much worse. (Because we are forced to pay for it over and over and over.)

Most of us have not really cared. A few brave souls have fought this tin-pot tyranny for a several years. And for their troubles many other homeowners call them crazy and fake-HOA heavies have repeatedly threatened, bullied and harassed them. Still the majority of us have dismissed it all - carried on paying dues and sticking to the rules that we have no say in.

WORST of all are the home owners who volunteer as reps for the 'HOA'. Those that are not in it to reform it (and there are a few of them that slip through the net) are there to 'work for the community'... Not realizing that the are actually unpaid employees of a development company and its millionaire owners. They are less self-aware than the hapless stars of the Owen Wilson/Vince Vaughn cruddy comedy. Because HOA reps never get the job in the end.

Terrible fiction - WORSE reality!

So this has rumbled on forever with most of us tuning it out - why complain now? Well now the stripes of the developer are showing - because apparently its mating season for developer type and the smell is bringing the stripey skunks out to look for each other to start cuddling up.

The Cedar Creek developer-HOA is all but in bed now with the Oddo developer and the noise is disturbing. Squeaking nice squelches about each other and getting defensive and 'hissy' if any of us try to shoo off the visiting skunk with a broom!

This mating ritual seems designed to create a hybrid skunk developer baby - a big, ugly 300 unit 'luxury baby' that they are trying to nest among the trees right outside our front door. You know - they way horny skunks are wont to do. And this nauseating spectacle is sure to keep up the smell of developer skunk and, inevitably, cause more of the same to be born if the nest is allowed to settle in.

(Ok enough stink-rat analogy!) The fact is that if we had an actual HOA - where the interests of overlord developers played no part in its decisions - we would not be facing an incursion of something tremendously ugly and unwelcome above Cedar Creek Parkway. But instead we have to listen to developers squeaking both inside and outside our house.

Not much good is going to come with this fight against Oddo Developments - the greed to be on that prime and stunning site is real. And there are serious elements inside Olathe City Hall staff that detest what we have - because they are schooled to undermine single family neighborhoods. But the treachery of our HOA's role in this may ultimately cause a real shift in the landscape.

When we see what happens to our neighborhood because of Oddo Developments - we may just remember who opened the gates.... Who sang the song of Oddo... Who caries the lion's share of blame.... And who we will HAVE TO TAKE DOWN as a result...

If you've ever been skunked - its not something you soon forget.

[izzyspussy]

been obsessed w Freaky since it came out. fucking Love that movie, for a solid three months i was watching it 3-4x a day. i also plotted out a reddie fic for it but we see where that ended up. anyways, jst a big supporter of my friends watching that movie bc its not like,,, super great or anything but its also very very great at the same time yk? 💖

idk i don't think there's anything not great about it, except for a tragic lack of (further) indulgence in my own personal tastes and desires. the writing is funny, the acting is good, the costuming is like nothing special but it's contemporary so what are you gonna do really but it's good, it's transgender, the soundtrack is fun, i like the way the scenes are put together. i suppose the cinematography and the actual character writing are not anything special either, but really there's nothing about it i would say is bad tbh. like it's not groundbreaking but that doesn't mean it's not good. and more importantly i'm in deep romantic love with the concept and we are going to be married and adopt a dog together.

anyway it's the second time i'm seeing it. it really was formulated to make me personally go a little bit stupid. it's like a designer drug. or designer pussy. you know.

anyway, i must confess. i rewatched it very recently and re-entered my bill hader thirst era, and i also just now watched bodies bodies bodies for the first time and was like haha what if richie played the older guy (lee pace, but scrungly) lol wouldn't that be funny. but then he wasn't in it for long enough to satisfy me, so i thought to myself hm. what other horror comedy could i watch and imagine richie in. and so here i am imagining (periodically, because vince vaughn does do it for me as well hwjaskfjks + actually these characters are compelling enough that they take one in!) richie tozier playing the butcher lmfao.

[lucifers-horror-harem]

Fic authors self-rec! ✨ When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers.

EEEE THANK U BEX <3 <3 <3 I'm so excited to share my faves cause gahhh I do not get the opportunity to talk about them nearly enough

Heaven's Night (Pyramid Head)

So this is one of my more recent faves just from how much love I put into it. After all the trailers for the new Silent Hill games came out, I was NEEDING to write something for Pyramid Head, and so I included some settings and monsters from Silent Hill 2 into my smut fic as well as some descriptions that emphasized how a lot of these monsters symbolize James' desires (I know those monsters are his but it was for horny purposes so I'm allowed lol) and it's just so dear to my heart. Every time I see someone like it or even reblog it I get a smile on my face.

2. Kinktober Fic: Quickie with Freddy Krueger

Okay now I KNOW this one is your fave of my Freddy fics, and honestly, it's mine too. I loved being able to have Freddy terrorize the reader both in the waking and dream worlds in a unique way (dozing off in class but continuously waking up during it), plus I added a lot of humorous moments that are just SO Freddy that it makes it one of my faves.

3. Kinktober Fic: Predator/Prey with Doom Head

This one isn't even my smuttiest of fics, especially for Kinktober, I was debating between this one and my Dr. Frankenstein Kinktober fic, and this one won me over. I just had way too much fun getting into the mind of Doom Head, he's such a strange and fun character in 31 and I don't see too many people write for him. But I had too much fun with the cat-and-mouse game I wrote in this fic.

4. Unfair Game (Poly! Lost Boys)

Holy Shit, I almost forgot I wrote this fic. It took me sooooo long, especially as it was my first time writing more than a three-way, as this fic is essentially a five-way. I was tearing my hair out over it on more than one occasion, worrying it wasn't good enough, and I think you and some other people were the cheerleading I needed to finally push this fic through. And man, am I proud of it. It was SO MUCH but it was such a fun fic to write.

5. Mine (Blissfield Butcher)

OKAY so I never thought I would want to thirst over Vince Vaughn but I do for this fucking movie, and holy shit I wrote this so fast afterward. I rewrote some of the ending too because fuckkkk he's just so horny and slutty during that final scene and for what??? Insane. INSANE. I love that stupid asshole so much but I am so proud of this fic because of how I went ABSOLUTELY off on this.

Bonus Fic but if y'all want another fic of mine that's not slasher-related I compiled all 3 of my originally posted as one-shots but are actually related fics, Dangerous Games, a Darth Vader/Wilhuff Tarkin/Reader fic. And I'm still proud of it to this day because of how many people continue to tell me I wrote porn of Vader super in character (no one talks about Tarkin but WHATEVERRRRR) so I'm just very pleased with this story and how I developed it.

[3416]

Maple Leafs player survey, Part 1: Desert island movies, future coaches and more

By Joshua Kloke | Feb 3, 2023 | The Athletic

Maple Leafs fans, it’s the All-Star break and there’s a lull in the schedule for a while here, so let’s take a step back and reflect: Even after Wednesday’s loss to the Bruins, the Leafs still have a .673 win percentage after 52 games, good for fifth-best in the NHL and are once again in contention for home-ice advantage in the first round of the playoffs.

In short, for now, life is good, right?

With that sense of big-picture positivity in mind and no games to wring your hands over until late next week, The Athletic wanted to keep things light. We posed six fun questions to the Leafs over the last few months in the hopes of providing fans with a look inside the characters and relationships that make up this team.

Part one looks at the Maple Leafs’ desert island movies, the cleanest, and messiest players and which Leaf is likeliest to become a head coach.

Part two, soon to come, will tackle an entirely different set of questions.

–––

What is your desert island movie?

If the Maple Leafs were ever forced to ride a bus between games like a minor hockey team and then had the option of watching just one single movie for the whole team, I feel confident in stating “The Dark Knight” would be the movie of choice: When asked if they had to watch just one movie for the rest of their lives, the majority of Leafs chose the 2008 classic.

“Probably my favourite,” said Michael Bunting.

“It’s an unreal movie,” said William Nylander confidently.

“Heath Ledger,” he added, which sort of says a lot.

In fact, Ledger’s performance won over another Swede.

“For the Joker performance alone,” said Pierre Engvall.

Some of the Leafs actually had more detailed reasoning for picking “The Dark Knight”.

“You’d probably want to pick a really long movie, right?” said Matt Murray, before noting that the two-and-a-half-hour banger is “one of the best movies of all time.”

Rest assured, there would be some pushback from other Leafs.

“I’d go with ‘Goodfellas,’” said Mark Giordano, because Mark Giordano is a person who knows what’s what. “I love everything about that movie. I’m a big mob movie guy.”

Justin Holl went a little off the board with his vote for “Billy Madison.”

“I just think it’s a great flick. I read something about music in your formative years sticking with you, and maybe it’s the same for movies,” he said.

Minutes later, Holl came back, unhappy with his choice.

“I’ve gotta revise my movie. ‘The Grinch.’ Christmas every day,” he said, before walking away confidently.

Speaking of uplifting choices, Conor Timmins voted for “Peanut Butter Falcon.”

“I highly suggest it,” Timmins said. “I like a wholesome, feel-good movie.”

Perhaps to be expected from someone educated at Harvard University, Alex Kerfoot furrowed his brow and had some questions of his own when the question was posed to him.

“What’s the difference between your favourite movie and a desert island movie?” he asked.

“You’d have to watch it again and again,” I explained. “So one of my favourite movies is ‘Seven,’ but it’s dark, I don’t know if I could go back to that place again and again.”

“I think I’d want some comedy,” Kerfoot said. “Keep things light, keep myself happy out there… I think I’d go with ‘The Internship.’

“I think because they (Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn) hadn’t come out with one for a while and when it came out and there was a lot of built-up anticipation,” he said. “I just think they’re so funny together. Movies are a little bit like music. When I hear a song, I think back to when I first heard that song. And with ‘The Internship,’ I was at a happy point in my life. I like to reminisce.”

Others said they wouldn’t have a vote, like David Kampf, whose only request would be for a “sports movie,” or Calle Jarnkrok.

“I’m not a big movie guy,” Jarnkrok saod. “I watch more TV shows. I’m watching ‘Yellowstone’ right now. I watch every show there is. When you’re on the road, there’s nothing else to do, so I just watch a lot of TV.”

Interestingly enough, Ilya Samsonov also didn’t vote for a movie.

“’Game of Thrones.’ I started watching it during COVID. My wife said to me, ‘Watch this, please. Your life will be changed after this.’ I said, ‘No way, I won’t like it.’ But I had a lot of time, and I started watching it, and it was unbelievable,” he said.

Finally, John Tavares and T.J. Brodie reassured my confidence in them as smart dudes when they voted for ‘The Shawshank Redemption.’ I told Brodie that would also be my vote, with an asterisk.

“It might give you that sense of hope that you’re going to get off the island, but ultimately, you’re not,” I explained to Brodie.

Brodie just gave me a blank stare.

“I was just thinking that I’d be there for so long, and it’s a long movie,” Brodie said. “It’s a time killer.”

Can’t argue with the logic of one of the team’s most responsible players.

–––

Who is the cleanest and messiest teammate?

It’s worth remembering here how much time an NHL team spends together.

For that reason, these players probably pick up on personal habits in a very real way. And that’s why when I asked players who the cleanest and messiest teammate was, none of them looked at me with scrunched faces. If someone is keeping things tight, or if someone is verging on becoming a slob, they’re going to know about it.

Let’s start with the messiest Leaf. The salaciousness here is undoubtedly what fans are going to be interested in.

“I know who is the messiest,” Kampf said without hesitating. “Bunts. He always has clothes around his stall. Trainers have to clean up after him all the time.”

“Bunting,” Giordano agreed. “I haven’t been to his place, but at his stall, he’s got his slippers and stuff all over the place.”

It’s not just how he conducts himself in the dressing room, apparently.

“The messiest is Bunting,” Brodie saod. “He spills on his shoes every meal.”

It’s worth noting here that Bunting himself laughed off the notion that he was the messiest, and instead voted the way a few other Leafs did: for Nylander.

“The messiest has to be Willy,” agreed Timothy Liljegren. “I haven’t been to his apartment this year, so I don’t know though.”

Nylander also earned a vote from Wayne Simmonds, who sits near Nylander in the dressing room.

“His trainer has already tidied up his stall,” said Simmonds, shaking his head. “You can’t judge it now.”

I asked Nylander himself for confirmation.

“Could be,” said Nylander with the kind of grin that straddled the line between guilty and ambivalent.

As for the cleanest, the votes were split between three players: Auston Matthews, Tavares and Kampf.

“His whole lifestyle is clean,” said Bunting of Kampf.

“I like it if I have everything, just…” said Kampf, motioning his arms around in a precise manner. “I like it in my life, to have everything clean.”

–––

Which Leaf will eventually be a head coach?

This was a simple question that, admittedly, I thought would draw some routine answers: Pick the veteran who knows the game, right?

“Jake Muzzin,” Kampf said, confirming my suspicions. “He’s a smart guy and he could be a great coach.”

Well, I was wrong. More on that in a bit.

Because there were votes for Muzzin, sure, including from Matt Murray.

“You can tell the way he thinks the game, he sees things big picture and he’s always thinking about the little things within the game,” Murray said.

“He’s got that personality,” Brodie said.

There were also votes for two other vets including Tavares and Giordano.

“Last year, I would have said Jason Spezza,” Engvall said. “I could see Giordano being a good coach. And not just because of his age. He’s played for a long time, he knows a lot about hockey. He’s a confident guy.”

“Maybe (Giordano) could be an assistant coach,” Liljegren said. “Johnny has this serious demeanour and Gio is a little bit more talkative.”

“Like good cop, bad cop?” I asked.

“…maybe not bad cop,” Liljegren deadpanned in a way only Liljegren can.

“That’s a compliment,” Giordano said when told he earned plenty of votes. “I could see myself coaching one day, for sure.”

But there were still some curveballs.

“We have a couple guys who know the game well,” said Simmonds, noting Tavares and Mitch Marner. “Those guys think the game extremely well.”

I was surprised by that answer, but not as surprised as the answer I got from Calle Jarnkrok.

“Ras, for sure,” Jarnkrok said of defenceman Rasmus Sandin.

No offence to the youngish defenceman, but his relaxed, take-life-as-it-comes demeanour doesn’t scream NHL head coach.

Jarnkrok disagreed.

“He looks like he takes notes when he’s listening to Keefer,” Jarnkrok said of Sandin’s studious approach with Sheldon Keefe. “He could be a head coach.”

Ask enough silly questions and you might learn something, I guess.

[swagmother]

Alright, here comes 10+ movie reviews from some miscellaneous week in March that I guess I was particularly compelled to watch multiple erotic things, feel free to scroll by very quickly and ignore me forever :

Secretary: it was alright…. Empowering in ways some might say but also sexual but not necessarily because it also begs the question: what is …. Sex(y)??? No one will ever know…. :[

All Ladies Do It: This was definitely sexual and also a solid 3/5 at a generous most, I think most people like butts so if you yourself are a butt enthusiast you’d probably have no qualms watching this

Couples Retreat: Awful…. Vince Vaughn is incidentally the inventor of guitar hero in this but it’s really just about how you should preserve bad relationships, Get this out of my face

Never Been Kissed: Another awful movie! It certainly had potential initially but things started getting exceedingly worse extremely fast, this movie does not see anything wrong with a high school teacher being attracted to a supposed 16 year old, and when it’s revealed Drew Barrymore actually isn’t 16 and is an undercover reporter, he’s like “you LIED, how could you….” Buddy…. Wow

All My Friends Hate Me: this one was pretty alright, if you have an anxiety disorder and watch this you will probably be really upset after because it turns out your friends actually do hate you and you’ve been a big pathetic narcissistic loser your whole life!!! And if they don’t think that yet, your anxiety will definitely make them feel that way soon…. That’s the moral of the story

Violent Cop: true to its name, this is about a cop who certainly has an adjective of sorts. I think this also was pretty alright, I really enjoyed the direction and cinematography which I expected because those qualities (among others) were also very strong in the previous Takeshi Kitano films I’ve seen! I do think this was my least favorite of his so far though, the SA stuff felt a little unnecessary in my opinion, plot was alright

The Boondocks Saints: I think I may have seen this at some point during highschool but if so I certainly didn’t remember. This just felt like a ginormous Tarantino rip off but it was still good ish…. Willem Defoe of course was amazing, that uhh goon for the mafia with the long hair was pretty funny… other than that I kinda hated it tbh I lied before sorry

The Worst Person in the World: I feel like i don’t have that much to say about this one but I really enjoyed it. It was just a really good movie with much pain and humor as well, i would recommend it….

In the Realm of the Senses: big sex movie, it was way more fucked up than I had anticipated and I even saw things that I uhhh I don’t know I was kinda uncomfortable! That’s all I have to say

Antichrist: big sex movie, it was way less fucked up than I had anticipated but it was still fucked up… I had been meaning to watch this for years and it did not disappoint, like I’ve been saying since the day I was born: live spelt backwards….. is evil

Ravenous: this was a good cannibal movie, and I don’t mean just like “good” but I mean it is so good its the first time I watched a cannibal movie and I was like hmmm I should definitely send my cells to get synthesized into meat as soon as it is accessible to the public so I can eat myself and make my friends eat me too and then they can get their own synthesized meat and I’ll eat them too and it will be extremely chill times

Force Majeure: if i was the wife I would’ve uhhh…. I don’t know I think just doing anything would be better than staying with this big loser…. The kids are super toxic as well and giving very bad vibes, she certainly needs to cut ties with those toxic ipad children and Mr. Loser like imagine going on a skiing trip with this gaggle of goons and you think you’re about to die from an avalanche and your husband abandons you and your children but it was a false alarm and everyone’s fine and your husband is like “haha that was close good thing I was right there next to you guys the whole time” and then he whines and cries about being a big loser the whole rest of the trip

Shotgun wedding: it was fine

The Hunt: this was also fine

Dogtooth: this was great and also really fucked up I would absolutely recommend it

Maniac: this was… I have mixed feelings about this… I think Elijah wood does a pretty good job at acting which is a really good skill to have when you act for a career. There were also some cool gore moments/practical effects but not many overall, this take on a first person pov was…. Interesting

The Stunt Woman: I thought this was good! I really enjoyed watching it, Michele Yeoh is extremely cool and it was a touching movie…

[articlesofnote]

you're more than just money, baby

finally watched "Swingers" for the first time today. thoughts: 1) I feel pretty lucky that I didn't see it when I was a teenager; it would have been probably too influential on me, if I'm being honest. there's something about the strain of masculinity presented in the film that clearly seemed to inform the behavior of a lot of guys I know, similar in a lot of ways to "High Fidelity" - particularly that relationships with most women have to be, or are inherently, adversarial, and that as guys you gotta consume and dissect media in order to form a personality. clearly tumblr posts are far superior in this respect.

2) i am tempted to say that it is the movie I have seen that best captures the experience of what "Los Angeles" is like. "Los Angeles" in quotes because the actual experience of the place is not, in fact, like the movie. what Los Angeles, the real city, is like is... just a place, where many people do people things, albeit more often stuck in traffic than the global average.

but "Los Angeles," the hallucinated vision of possible celebrity and tantalizing opportunity, is flawlessly presented. "Swingers" shows what everybody who comes to Los Angeles expecting to find "Los Angeles" actually discovers: yet another place where they are still who they were when they left wherever they came from.

3) one of the main features of "Los Angeles" is that everyone there is trying their luck, taking their chance, shooting their shot; "what i had back home wasn't working for me, but enough people said enough nice things about my talents that maybe i have a chance ..."

with this in mind it seems meaningful, in a way that i'm not sure how to articulate, that the very first act of the movie is the two main characters driving on a whim to Vegas - not to actually gamble (their being in "Los Angeles" at all is the gamble), but to try on different personae

4) one of my favorite blogs has a series of posts about medieval bread production; introduced the first post is the concept of "banqueting your neighbors":

... [F]armers tended to build these reciprocal relationships with each other: I help you when things are bad for you, so you help me when things are bad for me. But those relationships don’t stop merely when there is a disaster, because – for the relationship to work – both parties need to spend the good times signalling their commitment to the relationship, so that they can trust that the social safety net will be there when they need it.

i was reminded of this in the scenes where the main guys go around to a bunch of different parties, clubs, and bars, to see and be seen; social recognition IS wealth in "Los Angeles"; meeting and remembering people and having them remember you, being lots of places and bringing people with you to many different places where they can be seen, by other folks, with you; by being visibly part of this demimonde - you are signalling the same kinds of things. vince vaughn's character, when present in a scene, seems to be the catalyst for food and drink and attention to be shared with the others he's sharing the scene with.

5) the ending is really, really good, which surprised me. i have a longstanding grudge against movies which undercut their own premises in the last few minutes (garden state!); i like thematic and tonal consistency, I guess. "Swingers" fuckin nails it: it's a deeper-than-expected film about shallow people, but it's conscious and consistent about how it portrays that shallowness, up to the very end.

[fishchomp]

you're money, baby. you're money.

dreams are a sort of sacred place. but last night you appeared and you read all of my journals (ones that don't even exist in realife, secrets that i would be too embarrassed to admit) and you laughed and i was there to watch but you never spoke to me, you just laughed. sonow im scared to see what tonight may bring. we watched that movie swingers last night, and now we've seen 6% of all of vincevaughns movies even though it feels like we've already seen a lot of them. jon favreau ran from new york to LA because his exgirlfriend found someone new and he was sosad even though he was that one who left her, and he was so sad that its all he could think about. all he did was wait for her to call, but she never did.and vince vaughn kept saying no, youre money baby, youre money. but he wouldn't listen. but then he met this lady named lorraine and they went swing dancing (which i guess is where the title comesfrom) and then his ex girlfriend calls him but he hangs up on her because lorraine is on the other line. i guess the only cure to heartbreak is a girl who can swing dance. i think things are getting distant again, but its not myfault.it actually never is, because im not the one that's going away (except i also am). im going to keep trying, ill never stop trying, but i dont know if its because i love you or because im building a case against you. i watched a bunch of grown men fight in my text messages yesterday and i waited six days to open a text because i was soscared of what it said but then it just said things like "its okay" and "i understand". well, pain is just another thing to feel. love is just another thing to feel. nothing real is really real. you feel? i slept on the amtrak twice this week. its a very [vulnerable / humiliating]* experience. and its honestly not even a pretty view. a 20 year old kid gave me an edible and i took myself dancing and i bought myself a new york strip steak and i scoffed when they asked for my ID, because don't you know who i am on the inside? my grandfather brings people to the bar he built in his basement and he has them sign the walls and many of those peoplearen't alive anymore, and some of them weren't even that old. i wonder what will happen to the walls in that house one day. we've gotta do karaoke. we've gotta goto that 70s themed club with the rainbow dance floor in the west loop.we've gotta keep eating out even when we shouldn't and we've gotta visit each other again soon and we've gotta keep saying yes even when we're tired. we simply gotta. in the war on celebrities, julian is going first, by the way. *though i guess vulnerability and humility are the exact same thing in a way. you cannot truly be exposed to the world without feeling so uncharacteristically shy. one day i wont even care what [you / anyone] thinks. "where do we go from here, i’ll say, youre a shining star, you'll do great in LA, and i keep fixing every habit that i break"

[skykashi]

Just going to respond to this point as I actually have seen it being addressed so many times, so just going to answer it for those who might really be looking for an answer. Short answer: it's definitely a cultural thing.

Long answer... This thing has been boggling my brain for quite awhile really because here in my country it's absolutely normal for 2 close friends to do such things, me and my best friend slept on the same bed right next to each other more times than I can count and it was never awkward or sexual or anything more than just sleeping, we are comfortable around each other to the point that sometimes when I'm sad and feel too tired to keep my body sitting up I'd simply lay my head on her lap or her shoulder and she smoothes my hair back with her fingers as a sort of comfort while I cry my eyes off, and I'm absolutely 100% sure that nether me or her have any sort of sexual or romantic feelings for each other, we love each other so much but it's like that sibling love, like we'd die for each other and it's absolutely 100% platonic, I don't think I can even say we see each other as sisters because it's kind of deeper than this, because she'd never tell her secrets to her sisters and I keep some secrets from my siblings too but we know everything about each other, and that's not just a me thing, this is literally how best friends are in general in my country and pretty sure in all of our neighboring countries too, same thing goes for men too here, my brothers have countless sleepovers with their close friends where they share the same bed together and there is absolutely nothing weird about it, literally no one ever sees this as something unusual or awkward here, the only case where we'd make sure to have separate rooms or sleep as far away as possible from each other would be if we consider this person a stranger or we're not close enough or friends enough. And I've seen this happening in countless animes too where friends or teammates sleep right next to each other like that and always their futons are right next to each other exactly like Kakashi and Gai's futons here, so I don't think it's an issue in Japan either, it's the same concept as hot springs, this is something common and absolutely normal in Japan and to them there's nothing awkward about it whatsoever, I even asked a good friend of mine who lives in Japan (not gonna tag her in case she doesn't want to be part of the discussion) because of how often I see western ppl talking about it online, and she told me what I thought was obvious enough judging by how common these things are in anime... that these things are absolutely normal there too so they seem to be viewing it the same way we do in my country.

Now what got me soooooo confused is that by seeing such posts online all the time, I just assumed that it's just a western thing and that they are always too careful around each other like that, but then I was watching the movie "The Internship" one day then Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn's characters in the movie who were only best friends with absolutely no other motives and had other love interests were sleeping next to each other innocently without any problem

And I was sooooooo confused like, what?!! Western friends can sleep next to each other and be comfortable around each other without wanting to bang or be in love?!! Really??!! But.. but.. ppl on the internet keep saying that this is only possible if they are in love??! What's going on? Where is the truth?!!😭😭 And I've been confused ever since until I just stopped thinking about it to save myself the headache and accepted that the way western best friends treat each other will remain a mystery to me 😂😂

Actually, fandom please take off the ‘everything has to be romance’ goggles for five seconds thanks cuz Hatake Kakashi is litterally the last character who will probably ever speak about romantic love

When this dude mentions ‘love’ it’s 99.9% of the time about platonic love

[devious-little-milkmaiden]

Horror/Psychological Thriller movies to get stressed out over while drinking your hot beverage of choice, in your pajamas, eyeing the closest door to make sure it doesn't creak open.

"Oh fuck I actually have to watch all of these." -Me

Crimson Peak

Two words: Jessica Chastain. What, did you think I was going to say Tom Hiddleston? Oh shit, you're right. Okay FOUR words. This movie features some truly gorgeous visuals, beautiful (historically accurate!!!) costumes, an incredibly macabre plot, and a wonderfully talented cast. Take a shot every time I use an adjective. Of water, of course.

Hush

A Netflix gem. Will make you eye that door warily.

Shutter Island

Leonardo DiCaprio is extremely confused until he's not, and in turn, I am confused. Still a good movie and psychological thriller.

I am the pretty thing that lives in the house

More drama than horror, but still good nonetheless. You should watch it purely because I had to type all of that out.

The Talented Mr. Ripley

One of my all-time favorite movies in general. Not so much a horror movie as it is Call Me By Your Name but with murder and more of a dark academic aesthetic, but still a very fun watch. (More of a psychological thriller I suppose.)

Nightcrawler

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Slimy rat bastard man >:(. This movie was somewhat stressful to watch but it gives an interesting look into the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles.

Freaky

For fans of Supernatural, it has Kathryn Newton. For fans of Bette Midler, she starred in Hocus Pocus with Sarah Jessica Parker, who starred in Sex and The City with Vince Vaughn, so there you go. You're welcome. Give me money. This movie is like Freaky Friday except they substituted the fact that it is Friday for the fact that there is a serial killer in a teenage girl's body. Yikes, I could've phrased that better.

Fargo

Based off of a true story, this is the perfect movie for true crime buffs and just Minnesota in general. Marge Gunderson is a sweet pregnant police officer who loves her husband dearly, and who (somewhat) singlehandedly solves a kidnapping and murder case. It's the most comforting thriller movie I've ever seen. Just... skip the woodchipper scene if you want to keep it that way.

Sweeney Todd

A Tim Burton classic, it stars _____ _____ and Helena Bonham Carter. I don't even need to put his name there, you already know who it is based purely off of the fact that it's a Tim Burton movie. This movie is crazy and macabre and has a sweet couple o' tunes.

Sleepy Hollow

Another Tim Burton classic. It also stars _____ _____. Oh my god I just realized that a lot of people who were in Harry Potter are in Tim Burton's movies. Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Richard Griffiths, and of course, _____ _____. This movie is another one of my all-time favorites. I would live in this movie if I could, I love the scenery so much.

Scream

One of the most iconic horror movies of all time, and for good reason. I laughed out loud at some of the jokes. This movie was a lot of fun to watch. When I was at work today all I could think about was that scene in the movie store. Oh Randy...

Scream 2

Courteney Cox's hair is its own character. Oh Randy...

Frankenstein

A classic Tinseltown Terrifier. A bit slow, but good if you just wanna chill out and accidentally fall asleep on the couch.

Dracula

Another Tinseltown Terrifier. I think Bauhaus said it best with their unnecessarily 9-minute song titled Bela Lugosi's Dead. Bela Lugosi is, in fact, dead. I think.

American Psycho

Learning that Christian Bale is a method actor is utterly terrifying considering just how scary his character is in this movie.

The Birds

Scary 60's Alfred Hitchcock. As someone who is somewhat terrified of birds, I give this movie a thumbs up because I'm scared of what will happen otherwise.

Dark Shadows

Another Tim Burton film starring _____ _____ and HBC. I'm too much of a douche to write out Helena Bonham Carter. It's funny and Chloe Grace Moretz is there too.