#so who knows. maybe i'll make completely different decisions.
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David Gaider on Kieran, under a cut for length:
"CHARACTERS - DAY TWO: Kieran (Technically this is an addendum to yesterday, but I make the rules here so nyah!) Heading into DAI, I had a bite-sized problem on my hands. I knew Morrigan would feature. I also knew we were importing previous choices. So now I had to contend with: the Old God Baby. Here's the thing about honouring previous game choices, from a design perspective: it's a sucker's game. What many fans picture, when you mention it, is divergent *plot* -- the story changes path based on those major choices. How exciting! But you will never be able to deliver divergent plot. You can deliver flavour differences (usually in the form of divergent dialogue), character swaps (character X appears instead of Y), and extra content (such as a side quest) -- but plot branching, particularly the critical path? It's a question of resources, and there's never enough to go around. "Here Lies the Abyss" in DAI was about as good as it gets, and even that was a far cry from how I originally pictured it (hello last-minute insert of Stroud when a DAO Warden import got cut). The Old God Baby was one of the main choices from DAO -- Morrigan has a baby? With the Archdemon's soul?! Most DAO players who flagged that choice surely expected *monumental* consequences. World-shaking consequences! And we talked about it. We did. There were, like, three different designs of the DAI ending where OGB Kieran could cause complete divergence: new path, cutscenes, the whole nine yards. But it wasn't going to happen. It was a decision from *two games ago* that only a small minority (hello telemetry) would even choose. To the rest, they probably neither knew about it nor cared... so how many resources could you invest? To do what? Set up an even bigger divergence for the NEXT game? The other writers acknowledged my anxiety with a grim nod every time it came up, but they had no solutions. Finally, I realized there WAS a solution, and that was changing how I thought about the choice: don't make it about Kieran. The players don't know him, never have. Make it about Morrigan. Thus began a feverish three days where I wrote probably the most complicated scene of my career: Morrigan's reckoning with Flemeth in DAI and the fallout after. Three different versions (OGB Kieran, non-OGB Kieran, and no Kieran), each with branching for other choices (like the Well of Sorrows). I did it all at once. There was no other way to wrap my head around the complexity of it. It was also a tough sell to the team, considering the amount of cinematics work, but they agreed we had to do *something*. And still it felt... underwhelming, insofar as divergence goes. But it was also good. I remember when I first spoke with Claudia, about how this was Morrigan's story. This was about how motherhood had changed her, how she'd grown up. Claudia got a bit teary-eyed. It was a journey she was familiar with, she said. Her first son, Odin, had been born in 2005 not long after DAO came out. And, man, she killed with that performance! Kate, too, but I'll get to her later. Claudia dug down, and that scene where Morrigan tells Flemeth she'll never be the mother Flemeth was to her? That came from someplace very raw. It was devastating to witness in the booth. There were tears all around. Not long after, Claudia called and asked if maybe - just maybe - Odin could play Kieran? He was a bit young (not yet 5, then), but it felt... right? We agreed. Claudia was in the booth, gently coaching him through his lines, and I think that was the first moment I felt I'd done the right thing."
[source thread]
User: "Do you find it an odd choice that Kieran hasn’t been mentioned at all in Veilguard?" David Gaider: "If there’s less reactivity in DATV, I’m unsurprised. Continuing choice from up to 3 games earlier is… unsupportable. Yet DA established the expectation they would so… damned if you do, damned if you don’t?" [source]
User: "EA is one of the biggest game companies ever. I don't think more complex diverging plots are impossible." David Gaider: "Well, if only more writing was all it took. Sadly, it's also cinematics. Art time for all those reappearing characters you probably want to look *just* right. And let's not forget we have to test all those permutations! So I don't disagree with you in spirit, but I don't think it's the answer here." [source]
User: "is there a possibility of future kieran appearances in a book or something similar outside of the games?" David Gaider: "I'd have no way of knowing that." [source]
User: "I’m actually shocked so little people chose the dark ritual. That was basically the main reason Flemeth sent Morrigan with the wardens, no?" David Gaider: "The impression you get of what "most" players do - in almost any game, not just DA - is very different if you're online a lot. Consider here that it's not just the % of DAO players who chose the Dark Ritual, it's the % of DAI players WHO PLAYED DAO and cared to import that choice 5 years later." [source]
User: "Is there anything you wish you had done differently, in hindsight?" David Gaider: "Probably just to not ever do importing choices between games in the first place." [source]
User: "Kieran only existed in my DAI state b/c Morrigan as a mother really appealed to me. I wasn't expecting to be devastated by those scenes 😭 I guess when we complain about lack of consequences from prev choices in DAV we must also ask how MUCH are we willing to pay for those branches to exist?" David Gaider: "That's indeed it. Content directed towards reactivity would have to come from somewhere else. So essentially a shorter game overall for the sake of those hardcore fans who'd import - who would, I imagine, REALLY enjoy that... but it's a tough cost/benefit analysis to make." [source]
User: "mr gaider im gonna keep it real with you if i had to choose between my hof and hawke i would've simply passed away" David Gaider: "Right? That was the ENTIRE idea! I was very excited, and for a while it seemed possible." [source]
User: "This has been a very interesting read but I have to ask why they decided to use Stroud instead of the HoF" David Gaider: "1) Complexity of providing means for a player to build a Warden (which they did in DATV for the Inquisitor). Also spoiled the surprise. 2) We’d have needed to give the Warden a voice. Add these to the cost and it was deemed not worth it." [source]
User: "Genuine question, not a critique - but what made the OGB decision one that couldn't be handwaved as canon no matter what was or wasn't chosen? Leliana and Flemeth being around no matter what come to mind. Was OGB simultaneously too major and too minor of a decision?" David Gaider: "Flemeth and Leliana being alive were easily explainable, and we knew we were doing it even back then. Circumventing the Dark Ritual… that would be too cheap. We did talk about it, but it just felt too dishonest. Too high a price for what we’d get in return." [source]
David Gaider: "If I’d known the Well of Sorrows would only see reactivity in the confrontation with Flemeth, I’d probably have made a much bigger deal of it." [source]
David Gaider: "We could maybe have gotten past the need to "reconstruct" the Warden, much like the Inquisitor was reconstructed in DATV (so I understand), but the need to give the Warden a voice was the final nail. Too potentially disappointing for the very people who'd be excited about it, aside from the cost." [source]
#dragon age#bioware#video games#morrigan#queen of my heart#long post#longpost#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4
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dragon age update!! finished origins for the second time ever :3
#this also makes it the Only da game i've completed more than once#i did wayyy more sidequests this time too#gonna replay awakening and then onward to da2!!#i may or may not replay dai. if only because i'm pretty heavily switching up my warden and my hawke but.#if it's inquisition it's gonna be steve again .#like . for dao i switched origins switched romances switched major choices . leliana died and wynne left and anora became queen.#switched my specializations completely . very different relationship with alistair#for my hawke im gonna switch classes. gonna do additional romances and both siblings are gonna be there (not sure if it's gonna stick but-#-it's how i'm playing it#sebastian will be there .#im also prob gonna download some sort of cosmetic mods so that i can make a hawke whose appearance im actually satisfied with for once#honestly maybe just a mod to get the blood smear should be fine. but who knows#but my inquisitor? still steve.#ill either painfully recreate him again or i'll use the save i made from as Soon as you can save and just start from there.#he'll romance josie again . he'll be besties with sera again. he'll be close with dorian again . he'll sleep with bull again .#the only real major changes are i think he'll spend more time with vivienne and be closer with her for sure. same thing with blackwall.#and im considering siding with the templars because i hear that quest is a banger and im curious.#the other thing is ive found replaying origins that i have WAY more context for some of the stuff i didn't really get my first time around#so who knows. maybe i'll make completely different decisions.#OH. and actually the rammies of my dao playthrough are kind of gonna rule actually. in comparison to my og worldstate#i do actually want to play through here lies the abyss with alistair as a warden .#and lyrium ghost leliana is a little silly however . lyrium ghost morriana absolutely slaps and it's made soooo funny by. well.#the fact that my warden had a budding relationship with leliana then she killed her then a bit later she got with morrigan#then they had sex to save the wardens life and morrigan dipped#also zevran was there the whole time.#so actually maybe i will replay dai. we shall see.#hang on i failed to mention the warden's political marriage to anora. god i love mods that let me create such fun situations#daposting
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[Zoro is jealous of how impressed you are with another man's strength. A few insults and broken breezeblocks later, he makes sure he's the only man you have eyes on.]
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Roronoa Zoro is a man too busy to boast. He perceives his skills and attributes as a means to an end and not a goal in itself; achieving unmatched swordsmanship is but a method of becoming the world's greatest swordsman.
It's completely useless to waste one's potential only to earn fame and admiration. If one sees their abilities as a goal, they tend to abandon their growth once the goal is achieved, never discovering what they can really do. Therefore, boasting is a manmade border between the current state of things and the wonderful possibilities.
Or so he tells himself.
The crowd cheers again as the blue-haired boy breaks another stack of planks. Each time he adds one more obstacle, the mob of onlookers is sure that this time, he's bound to fail. They've been wrong so far.
Zoro and you have been watching the show from affair but only because you refused to walk away. Sure, on your adventures you have seen people or unimaginable skills and attributes. Nevertheless, the man on the makeshift stage is just that - a man. No Devil Fruit, no canons-for-arms or anything of this sort. Just a person with determination and years of practice.
"Damn, that's some strength," you say in awe. "It's amazing."
Zoro only scoffs, scowling while he stands with his arms crossed. "Come on, this is nothing."
"Oh, right, breaking a stack of five wooden planks with your bare fist is just a regular Tuesday, eh?"
"Definitely not for a twig like him," he answers while still glaring at the boastful plank-breaker. "A gust of wind could break his bones."
Something about his huffing and puffing doesn't sit right with you. After all, why does he care in the first place? Zoro is not the kind of person to be interested in things that are not directly connected to him. It's almost as if...
Is he jealous of the attention?
"You know what, Zoro?" When you turn to look at him, he notices the challenging glint in your eyes. You're up to no good, aren't you? "I'd love to see you try and break even one plank."
He scoffs again but this time he looks almost offended at the implication. "I wouldn't even get out of bed for one."
"That's not a good measure." You shake your head decisively. "It's already hard to make you get up." Then, an idea sparks in your thoughts - something he's sure not to reject. "Let's do it like this. If you can one-up that guy, I'll do whatever you want."
Zoro's brown eyes stare into yours with a new intensity. He seems to be trying to guess how serious you are about your promise. "Anything goes?" he asks suspiciously.
"Nothing that will tarnish my dignity." As a warning, you point your finger at him. "Or dirty my shirt."
Then, to your utmost satisfaction, he gives you a smirk beaming with confidence.
"You're going to regret this."
"I hope so," you answer.
He clenches his jaw at your frivolous tone, his mind racing in a thousand different directions at once. What do you mean you "hope to regret" your wager? What exactly do you think he'll ask of you?
No matter the answers to his questions, Zoro has found a new source of motivation inside him. He can ask anything. As nice as that sounds, and he's sure to let his imagination run amok, the more satisfying prize will be the look of awe you're bound to give him. If you're impressed with this boastful twig of a man, how dazzled will you be with Zoro when he beats him? Maybe you'll finally stop looking at other men like they're actually worth even a second of your time or a speck of your attention.
"Hey, wood boy!" Zoro exclaims at the top of his lungs while making his way through the excited crowd towards the makeshift stage. "Let's see who's stronger."
"A brave challenger appears!" The blue-haired man announces. Whispers erupt among the onlookers. "Or maybe he's stupid?" he directs his question at his fans. Then, when Zoro enters the stage, the man looks at him with a feeling of superiority smeared across his face. "I'll have you know, I'm the local champion."
Up close, the blue-haired man looks even less impressive than from the ground. He's rather scrawny compared to men of similar strength and he could definitely use a long bath. Zoro is almost offended that you'd look at this poser of a clown instead of him.
"Only local?" Zoro asks. He erupts in laughter, making his opponent's expression visibly falter. "Not much of a title. I've seen rocks bigger than this island."
The whispers turn into loud conversations as half of the crowd demands Zoro to take back his words and the other half begs for a showdown to see who's the true master between them.
"Ambitious!" the blue-haired man exclaims with fake casualness, clearly trying to hide his own uneasiness. "That's what I like to see. But I must warn you that breaking wood with the sheer power of your bare fist is neither easy nor simple. Are you sure you can manage?"
Zoro laughs again. His posture only grows with confidence while the other man seems to be becoming smaller with each of Zoro's insults. "Wood is for children."
The blue-haired man swallows nervously. Sweat trickles down his neck. "Alright then." He clasps his hands together, rubbing them to ease the arousing tension. "What do you propose?"
"Breezeblocks."
The crowd audibly gasps and you're not any different. To break something that can render someone unconscious, if not dead, without having to use much strength? Even for someone like Zoro, the suggestion seems more than audacious. True, you wanted to see him prove his bold talk but not break his hands.
But before the blue-haired man can protest or diverge the discussion, a group of eager men bring a load of breezeblocks on stage. Their eyes shine with impatience and desire to see uncommon strength as they take away the wooden boards and set up the first breezeblock for each of them to break. The hollow bricks are placed atop regular, clay bricks that the blue-haired man has used to lay the planks on.
With a light gesture of his hand, Zoro allows the apparent master to begin. The man stretches his arms and cracks his joints. Despite being visibly experienced in this art, there is a noticeable nervousness in his movements, too. As though he's not as confident as he was five minutes ago.
Measuring one or two times beforehand, the local champion slams his fists on the breezeblock. A muffled thud resounds and the crowd falls silent. Then, a loud grunt fills the tense air but not a speck of cement is lifted. The breeze block did not break but considering the agony on the man's face and the deep red of his hand, something surely did break.
Zoro laughs for the third time. Strangely enough, he seems almost suspiciously laid-back. He reaches for the blue-haired man's unbroken breezeblock and places it atop his. If the crowd was silent before, it's deathly quiet now. They don't even dare breathe, awaiting the resolution of this unforeseen wager.
His eyes meet yours and never stray as he punches the stack of breezeblock. They break, fall and crumble on the stagefloor. Zoro doesn't look phased in any way, nor does his hand look to be injured. Judging by his casual attitude, he can easily break a lot more than just two breezeblocks. Maybe one day he'll find out but not at the moment - that's not the point of his little show of strength.
Some people try to accost him or talk to him as he makes his way back to you but Zoro's usual glares and silence quickly mitigate their enthusiasm and soon the mob of onlookers just cheers among themselves.
"Alright, I'm impressed," you admit with a nod. "In capital letters."
"So, anything I want, huh?" He can't help the smile curving his lips. It's a big word that you've used - a little too big for Zoro's imagination because it too happily strayed in directions that might break his heart permanently if you reject him.
"I suppose you do deserve compensation for holding yet another title of a champion. The dreadful weight of success," you say in a dramatic tone. "Now, what is this 'anything' you've decided on?"
Truthfully, he hasn't decided yet. If this "more than friends, less than lovers" situation he has with you was a game of chess, he's just made his opening move. You played back and put him in a place where there are simply too many options to reconsider. So what choice does he have to make to have you in a checkmate?
#roronoa zoro x reader#one piece zoro#roronoa zoro#zoro#zoro x reader#one piece#one piece fanfiction#one piece imagine#one piece fanfic#one piece x reader#one piece x you#zoro x you#roronoa zoro fanfiction#roronoa zoro x you
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Darlin' pt 2
pt 1 / pt3
Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x f!reader (right now there is nothing romantic, maybe in the future I am undecided.)
Description: Where the reader arguably makes the stupidest decision of her life, following a ghoul who obviously doesn't want her there.
TW: Talk of physical abuse and bad parenting
I stayed there on my knees in the mud for some time. Stunned at the events that just transpired. I had nowhere to go, my wrists were still bound, and I had no weapon. I was truly fucked. I slowly rose to my feet as I looked around. The ghoul took one of the men's guns and Slim's was far too heavy for me to carry. I stumbled my way to the grave to look down inside. Honcho wasn't moving, and if I crawled down in there to get his gun there was no way I was getting out again. I sighed. I thought back to the ghoul. He was my only chance, but he didn't want my help.
I sighed again as I looked down at the chicken before untying her and setting her free. "At least one of us can be free," I said smiling to her before she ran off.
I stood there in the dark weighing my options when my eyes fell to the tracks in the mud. Maybe if I stick close to him, I'll be okay? At least until we reach a town. I would stay out of his way. Ideally, he wouldn't even know I was there.
"You are insane," I said to myself before I started following the tracks in front of me, grabbing Slim's bag on my way past him.
After about a day I was exhausted. I had no idea if I was going in the right direction anymore, I was no tracker and I lost his prints a long time ago. I stopped and bent over, pressing my palms to my knees while trying to catch my breath when I heard a gun cock behind me.
"Now why would you be following me?" The ghoul said behind me. "You must be a special kind of stupid."
I couldn't help the exhausted laugh that bubbled in my throat as I slowly stood up. "I must be. If you killed me right now, it wouldn't make a difference. I'll die on my own anyway." I said still facing away from him, feeling defeated.
There was a long moment of silence before I finally looked behind me. There was no hint of emotion on the ghoul's face.
"Let me follow you until we reach a settlement. I'll stay out of your way. I won't ask you for anything. Please." I begged.
At this, he looked down at my still bound wrists and then back up at my sad face. He sighed as he holstered his gun. "Come here then girl," he said, waving me over.
I tripped over my feet hurrying over to the man, raising my wrists as he took out his knife and cut me free. "Thank you, sir."
At this, it was his turn to laugh. "Sir? Well I'll be damned you are probably the only person left on this godforsaken planet with some manners."
I smiled up at him, I thought maybe he wasn't so scary after all.
"You will be completely silent. No complaining. If you annoy me, I will turn that pretty ass into jerky. Got it?" He said with a serious look on his face.
"Right. I can do that." I whispered looking down at my feet, feeling stupid.
We walked until it was far too dark to continue. I silently collected firewood as he put his bag down on the ground. As I made my way to our makeshift camp I stood in front of him with my arms full of sticks.
"What?" He barked out, obviously annoyed.
"Nothin'" I responded quickly before shuffling away from him embarrassed.
I tried my best to arrange the wood before pulling the flint out of the bag I took off of Slim. A small fire started and I smiled. I was cold from all the mud plastered to the front of me and was relieved to feel the warmth of the fire. I looked over at the ghoul to see him leaning up against a tree with his hat covering his face. I hummed happily as I thought about the arrangement we came up with, although I couldn't help but want to talk to him, the walk has been incredibly boring.
After a while of warming up by the fire, I got comfortable and drifted off to sleep.
-
I woke with a start. I looked around confused before I realized there was a boot in my side. I looked up at the ghoul hovering above me. "Get up darlin'." He said before walking away. "Time to move."
I quickly jumped up and grabbed my bag before running after him. This was the routine for days. I had honestly lost track of how long I had been following the ghoul. The silent marches from sun up to sun down were starting to get to me. I felt like I was going crazy.
"If my memory serves me well. I can be rid of you by tomorrow morning." He said with a sour tone.
"Okay," I responded quickly. I wanted to say as little as possible so he doesn't make true to his threat.
He looked back at me for a second as he continued to walk. "How did you get yourself into this mess anyway?"
I hesitated to answer, remembering he told me to stay silent. I looked up at him to see him scoff and turn away again.
"I ran away from home. Was on my own for a while before I ran into those idiots. They found me while I was sleeping, I had no chance to escape until you killed them."
"Ran away from home?" He repeated back at me. "That was stupid."
"Well, I'd rather be eaten by a ghoul than continue to be beaten by my father," I responded curtly.
He laughed at this. "Getting feisty aren't we darlin'?"
"Sorry," I responded. "I shouldn't have said that."
"No, you shouldn't have." He said with a tone that I couldn't quite figure out.
We walked in silence for what felt like forever, I tried to keep track of time by looking up at the sun but it was a cloudy, cold day. I couldn't help but start to shiver. My feet started to ache terribly, I wanted to ask for a break but I bit my tongue. No complaining had been one of his rules. I didn't want to push my luck with him.
"Stop." He said abruptly, pulling me from my thoughts.
"Wha-" I asked confused.
"Quiet." He interrupted as his hand slowly wrapped around his gun and turned towards me.
Before I had a chance to react the barrel of his gun was next to my face and he shot a round off.
I cried out as my ears rang painfully and I fell to the ground in shock. He said something to me, but I couldn't hear a thing. I held my head as I watched him walk behind me towards a man, dead on the ground. He rummaged through the dead man's pockets, pulling out a couple of caps before walking back towards me.
"A fiend." I thought to myself.
Instead of saying anything he offered me his gloved hand. I hesitantly took it and let him pull me back to my feet. He mumbled something but I couldn't hear it. Not long after this, we made camp again.
-
The next day, I slowed down a lot, but we were very close to town. I was beyond exhausted and barely had any will to keep going. The distance was growing between us before he finally stopped and whipped around, visibly annoyed.
"Walk faster. Remember what I said about annoying me darlin'." He barked at me.
I stared at him quietly before saying. "Why not just leave me behind, then?"
"Don't tempt me." He grumbled as he roughly grabbed my arm and started dragging me along.
A few minutes later we reached a small settlement. We got a couple of strange looks as he continued to drag me by my arm before finally letting go as soon as he set eyes on a "doctors" office. I just stood there. Unsure what to do now. I was in town, albeit a small one. There were only three buildings and a couple of food stalls. I could do whatever I wanted. I couldn't follow him anymore, that was for certain. I heard a commotion from inside the office, but it wasn't my problem anymore. I slowly wandered away eyeing up the food stands. Dog meat wasn't appetizing, but I hadn't had real food in days. I rummaged around Slim's pack before I found enough caps to buy myself a meal.
I hummed happily as I finished my food, I hadn't realized how hungry I was.
"Well, aren't you a pretty thing?" A man slurred behind me. "How much for your time?"
"I am not a prostitute." I scoffed as I turned around to face him.
"Free then?" He smiled menacingly as he grabbed ahold of me. His grip was so tight that I could feel my arm bruising.
Without thinking I drove the empty skewer in my hand into the man's eye and ran. I heard yelling behind me, but I kept running mindlessly. Before I realized what I was doing, I ran right into the arms of the ghoul as he was exiting the doctor's office.
"What in the hell?" He exclaimed, shocked by my actions before he looked up to see the man following me with blood running down his face.
"That bitch belongs to you? She must be some kind of freak to be with a ghoul." He growled angrily.
I buried my face into the ghoul's chest, afraid to look at his face. I desperately hoped he would take mercy on me once again.
"Well, darlin' you do have some bite to ya." The ghoul laughed while eyeing up the man standing in front of him.
"Give me the girl and get gone." The man spit out.
"Well, that just won't do." The ghoul responded while smirking, obviously amused. "Get behind me darlin'," he whispered quietly as he stared down the thug.
I quickly did as I was told before I heard some more shots ring off, before I knew it, the whole town turned into a shoot-off. I dropped to the ground and crawled into the doctor's office hiding behind the counter next to a very dead doctor.
"What the hell?" I mumbled to myself looking over at him, wondering what had transpired between him and the ghoul.
I stayed there until I heard a familiar voice yell out. "Anyone else wanna try me? That was fun, but I am itching for a REAL challenge." Only to get silence in return.
I peeked my head around the counter before finally getting up to my feet and shuffling to the doorway. Before I could stick my head out, the ghoul appeared in front of me.
"Thank you," I said smiling shyly up at him.
He stared down at me for a moment before saying, "Come on then. I need to get going if I am going to catch that bounty and Filly ain't far."
"I am coming with you?" I questioned, trying to hide the relief on my face.
"Well, you obviously can't be trusted on your own. Can ya darlin'?" He responded slyly.
"Oh thank you so much. You won't regret this!" I said to him as I grabbed ahold of his sleeve.
He stared down at my fist before looking back up into my eyes. I could see the hesitation on his face. Little did I know, this was the most human contact he had had in a long time, and it stirred something deep within him.
An odd friendship had formed between us, and neither of us knew how to feel about it.
tag list: @msrawog
#cooper howard x reader#cooper howard#the ghoul fallout#fallout#fallout tv series#the ghoul x reader
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Hello! I just saw your latest post and you might have been referring to my ask if it was the one about Ratiorine's differing philosophies or of what philosophies they abide by (existentialism, absurdism, etc) then that's me! If you weren't referring to that I apologize for the confusion. Sending it off anon this time so maybe it doesn't disappear 🥲
Sorry for the ask disappearing the first time; I'm not sure what happened, and I was so sad because I had been carefully holding on to it to answer it! I'm glad you were able to resend.
I do have to say first that philosophy is not my area of expertise, so there may be much more qualified philosophy buffs out there who can answer this more accurately than me, but I'll give it a go with my personal understandings of the characters:
First, Ratio is the easier of the two I think. As many people have said, he's a good fit for existentialism. His entire shtick is basically believing in the power of the individual to improve and enrich their own life, to fight valiantly regardless of the hardships imposed by their life's circumstances, and to make themself into a better person by their own choices.
It's important to underscore that this means Ratio believes in self-determination, in the idea that people's lives are not foreordained but are actually actively shaped each day by personal decisions. Therefore, people have inherent freedom to decide the course of their own lives by accepting what they approve of, refusing to accept what they disapprove of, and harnessing their own individual power to ultimately achieve self-actualization.
Essentially, Ratio works under the impression that life is not guided by something as intangible as destiny, and no matter where you start off in life, what ultimately happens to you is within your control (or at least within the control of whoever controls you). This is likely a small part of why it grates on him so badly that he wasn't recognized by Nous, because the fact that one can dedicate everything to a goal and still not achieve that goal runs contrary to his central philosophy.
If he believes that people have the power to determine the course of their own lives, then what does it say about him, who fought so hard to do exactly as he claims even idiots can do--seize control his own fate--and yet didn't succeed? Are there some things outside of man's power? It's enough to make even a renowned doctor question himself, and Ratio decided to come out on the side of "It's a personal failing, not a flaw in my philosophy." He literally said "Skill issue" to himself.
Changing tack a tiny bit here, I think it's also important to emphasize that there is a difference between existentialism and nihilism even though these philosophies dovetail. Again, I'm not an expert in philosophy, so my understanding is very limited, but the basic idea of existentialism is that "existence comes before essence"--that is, things start as a blank slate and gain nature and meaning after the fact. We are not created by some grand design, nor is there any inherent "purpose for living." Things just exist because they exist.
This is where existentialism intersects with nihilism, at the starting point that existence is inherently meaningless. But, in my personal opinion, nihilism as a philosophy fails to move beyond that. Pure nihilism is ultimately self-defeating because it leaves us with no motivation to commit to growth. It's a philosophy antithetical to the continuation of life as we know it. Existence is meaningless and any meaning you personally derive from existence is also meaningless, so why bother attempting to derive any meaning at all? This complete apathy is the Device IX that Star Rail paints as so dangerous.
And Ratio is not this way at all. His philosophy absolutely reaffirms that life can have meaning, so long as people create that meaning for themselves. He simultaneously asserts that anything that people create is not meaningless ...which basically means that meaning itself cannot be meaningless. (If that makes any sense to anyone.)
Frankly, I would argue that this philosophy may be a core part of why Ratio has not been recognized by Nous so far, rather than simply his "being a good person." (Nous is a robotic AI super-computer, why would THEY care about the presence or lack of human empathy?) Ultimately, Ratio's central philosophy about people being capable of determining their own fates and purposes also applies to his understanding of knowledge--knowledge is not something which is inherent in certain beings from birth or limited to the purview of the "special" (geniuses), but is attainable by all people. People are not "born talented" or "born untalented," they are simply "educated" or "uneducated," with the only barrier between these categories being one's own personal willingness to change. The mundane can become the divine--if they work hard enough at it.
Thus, knowledge is not wealth to be hoarded, but a currency to be spent to enrich other members of humanity.
(By the way, completely random aside--it also surprises me that everyone relates Ratio to Alhaitham from Genshin when they literally have such a glaring fundamental discrepancy in their understanding of the concept of wisdom... But anyway, back on topic!)
Ratio may (sort of) respect the members of the Genius Society, may recognize their incredible knowledge and abilities, but at the heart of the matter lies a single all-important question: Does Ratio even really believe in "genius" as a distinction (other than as a concept to insult himself)? Does he truly believe there is barrier between brilliance and idiocy that "ordinary people" can never cross?
He speaks convincingly about geniuses being different from "the ordinary," but if his core belief is that people have the power to pull themselves up out of despair and achieve greatness through effort and self-development, rather than some form of luck or god-given talent at birth, then... do born "geniuses" even really exist? Is there really an insurmountable difference between brilliant and mundane?
If knowledge is the equalizer of all sentient beings, do we not all have at least the initial capacity to become geniuses?
I personally think this central distinction about the capacity for knowledge among all humanity is the actual deciding factor in Ratio's rejection from the Genius Society, because, at the end of the day... how do you become a member of the "Genius Society" when you fundamentally reject the distinction of "genius" as an exclusive category from the start?
Ratio wants to share knowledge and uplift everyone (even if he thinks most people are starting off at the rock bottom known as idiocy).
His mission is diametrically opposed to the concept of a "Genius Society" in the first place.
He wanted in to the cool kids club because he desperately craves validation and acceptance, but the philosophical values of the Genius Society are ultimately incompatible with his own. In short, he would have to cease to be "Veritas Ratio" to succeed in joining the geniuses.
Okay, okay, back to the original point again, and just one more note about Ratio: Even though existentialism also goes hand-in-hand with absurdism, I don't think Ratio is far enough down the philosophical rabbit hole to believe in the wider definition of absurdism. Although I think he does agree with the inherent meaninglessness of existence, I don't think he views existence itself as truly irrational and the universe as as manifestation of unknowable chaos. I think he'd at least like to imagine that there are some ontological principles and inherent laws governing the operations of reality, and I think he does believe that certain things can be predicted with the application of enough thought... He certainly seems to believe in some form of "objective truth," at the very least.
I think he'd at least like to believe the universe is semi-orderly, even if he might deep down admit this is also wishful thinking.
So, to me he reads as a strong metaphor for pure existentialism, with deliberate rejections to both nihilism's apathy and absurdism's lean toward solely subjective reality.
PHEW, this is already long and I still have a whole other character to talk about... I had more to say about this topic than I thought. Sorry for the long read!
Anyway... Aventurine.
I've seen all sorts of things thrown around for Aventurine's philosophy, and while I think he does inherit a bit of Acheron's absurdism by the end of 2.1, I actually don't think Aventurine is an absurdist, an existentialist, or a nihilist.
I think Aventurine is a struggling fatalist.
He doesn't like it. We see him actively question it, but ultimately, he does come back to the concept of destiny over and over.
First, I think it's important to draw a clear distinction between Ratio and Aventurine: Ratio's existentialism is a philosophy that technically works even in a theological vacuum. Nous doesn't have to exist for Ratio's philosophy to function. Ratio's belief in the self-determination of humanity is, in fact, somewhat opposed to belief in aeons in the first place, and only works because technically the aeons of Star Rail used to be human (or were originally human creations). It's essentially an atheist viewpoint.
But Aventurine is a religious character. Like, he's just... religious. That's a fact about him. Even though we do hear his doubts, at the end of the day, he actually believes in Gaiathra, and believing in a omniscient supernatural being that is not human in origin (is from outside the aeon system) comes with a whole set of philosophical foundations that most aeon-worshipping characters just don't have in Star Rail. (Sunday is the obvious exception here, by the way.)
Kakavasha's like the one practicing pagan in the middle of an atheist convention. Awkward.
Being more serious: Religion requires faith. Faith requires the ability to believe in things you cannot verify with empirical facts. To believe in things you can only feel, never see. The belief that a goddess is watching over you, blessing you, and guiding you requires you to also accept the idea that events in your life are not always in your own control--that some of what occurs to you is decided by powers beyond your comprehension.
In essence, faith requires belief in fate. And that leads to fatalism.
No matter how much he doesn't like it, no matter how much we see him struggle with it, Aventurine does actually seem to believe in the concept of fate. He believes that some events in life are destined to occur, that some things are outside of individuals' control, and that ultimately not everything can be changed.
This is the dead opposite of Ratio's mindset: No matter how hard we fight, how far we push ourselves... in the end, sometimes people fail. Sometimes the only answer to our endless struggles is that we die, as we were destined to, before ever achieving the greatness we sought or the futures we were promised.
As an aside, I don't think faith or religion are necessarily the only factors connecting Aventurine to this particular philosophy either. Even removing theological aspects from the conversation, his extreme focus on the gambling aesthetic suggests a strong connection to fatalism too--if not a goddess, then one's fate may as well be in the hands of luck itself, of the whims of the rolling dice--or the push and pull of "powers that be," those figures of authority in the room where it happens, who make their shady deals according to preset rules and expectations, every bet resulting in an ultimately predictable outcome.
(He keeps gambling and gambling, hoping that he'll get a different result than the one he knows is inevitable...)
This is, of course, an inherently pessimistic mindset, a perfect dark-mirror to Ratio's deep-down optimism. Fatalism puts humanity into a position of powerlessness. All hopes and dreams are given over to the goddess, by whose judgment and whims the actual events of one's life are decided. Pain and poverty are inevitable trials. Suffering and death are foreordained.
And yet Aventurine has to cling to this, as much as he doubts it, as much as he hates the idea that things in his life are beyond his power to control.
Because if fate doesn't exist... If it wasn't destiny, if the tragedies of his life weren't trials from the goddess, if things weren't supposed to go this way... Then every single thing in his life really is meaningless. Everything he suffered, everyone he loved and loss, his mother's and sister's sacrifices, the torment he went through--just sheer bad luck. All of it, completely and utterly meaningless.
How can you convince yourself to keep living, in the face of such supreme and all-encompassing Nihility?
This is the central struggle of Aventurine's character, the actual mental and emotional journey we see him undertaking from 2.0 to 2.1. He is literally on the precipice, swinging between a viewpoint that he hates--his fatalistic belief in destiny--and an entirely self-defeating philosophy--nihilism--whose only possible final outcome is suicide.
This is what his talk with Acheron at the end of 2.1 is all about. This is how she saves him. In that final cutscene, we witness Aventurine reach a mental compromise, managing to finally reconcile his necessary faith in the concept of destiny with the reality that life may truly begin meaningless--but beginning meaningless does not mean staying meaningless, and believing in destiny does not bar you from making your own choices or finding your own purpose in life.
Later on in Penacony's story, we literally see Acheron use Ratio's philosophy to reject the same nihility that crept into Aventurine's:
Acheron wards off nihility's apathy through an absurdism all her own, but one which manages to enclose both Ratio's and Aventurine's otherwise incompatible mindsets: We have no way of ever knowing for certain whether the events of our lives are fated or mere nonsense. We have no way of knowing if our choices are our own or foreordained. But we don't need to know this to find meaning and value in them. Whether life is nothing more than unpredictable chaos or a predetermined pattern of cause and effect, what matters is what you make of it.
Ultimately, I think that this post has really helped me recognize just how well Aventurine and Ratio work as philosophical foils.
They really are perfect opposites.
Aventurine's fatalism is deterministic, while Ratio's existentialism is self-deterministic. Aventurine's philosophy is inherently pessimistic; Ratio's is inherently optimistic. Ratio's philosophy operates on a core belief in the freedom of humanity to decide their own paths in life, while Aventurine hates but does ultimately believe that people aren't really in control, that even if no gods are guiding us, we can't rise above our own natures. Ratio's philosophy makes meaning from growth; Aventurine's makes meaning from loss...
And they both struggle with fundamental doubts in their own philosophies, core questions that are directly tied to their own lives. Aventurine worries that his faith might be misplaced, that destiny might not exist, and that everything he suffered might have been in pointless, empty vain. Ratio faces the crisis of recognizing that his core belief in the power of humankind to determine their own paths and make their own meaning might not actually apply to everyone--because it doesn't seem to apply to himself.
It's literally only by bridging this philosophical binary with Acheron's anti-Nihility absurdist rhetoric that we can reach some sort of healthy outcome. That's why it takes both Ratio's note and Acheron's comments to finally lead Aventurine to acceptance. Ratio probably needs a little bit of Aventurine's "If you didn't make it into the Genius Society, there's got to be a reason" mindset to finally reach some peace with his situation too.
I'm not even a philosophy expert and even I can see that there's really only one takeaway here: These two characters were totally written with each other in mind.
Aventurine and Ratio need each other on core metaphysical levels! 😂
It's so good guys. You can't see it, but I'm making chef's kisses, I promise.
#honkai star rail#aventurine#dr. ratio#ratiorine#aventio#well the implication is there at least#character analysis#honkai star rail meta#philosophy#long post is long#this took so long oops I'm posting at 2am#entirely unrelated but innenofutari#you are very based for having a Princess Tutu quote in your bio#that's the most important thing I could tag this post with#actually#also if my philosophy understanding is all wrong I'm sorry#not gonna lie I dated a philosophy major in college soooo#that should tell you everything you need to know about my feelings toward philosophy
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Angel - Jude Bellingham
|WARNINGS: none |SUMMARY: How could you know that a stupid nickname could change everything? |AUTHOR'S NOTE: I know, this is kinda boring, but wait for the next chapter😉
The decision was tougher than you thought.On the one hand, you could have been living a dream in Madrid with Jude, but on the other hand there was your family, your friends.Of course you can study in Madrid, but what if you don't fit in there?Different traditions, different people, different language...it's like being in the middle of nowhere where you try to get used to it but you can't.Obviously you wouldn't have to live there forever or for a long time anyway, but would you really be able to leave Jude if you didn't fit in there?
You find yourself staring at the ceiling, thinking and thinking, but never finding the answer.What if you talked to Jobe about it first?Just maybe for advice.But as soon as you think of that name, you feel a twinge in your stomach at remembering something you had completely forgotten about.
“Just don't hurt her”
Those words echoed now in your head.What if Jobe was not at all supportive of the fact that maybe there was more than just a friendship between you and Jude?And how would he have taken it if you had gone to Madrid with Jude alone?Another thought added to your head, and trust me, you really didn't need it.Maybe you were even neglecting Jobe to spend all this time with Jude.
Then you remembered about the dinner.Maybe, you could talk to Jobe about that.You had to be ready by seven, then Jude would come to your house to pick you up.But thoughts were literally eating you alive.
You decide then, to go for a run, to clear your thoughts.You wanted to go to Madrid, and to be honest, nothing was stopping you, except yourself.But you know what?Fuck it, you fucking go to that city and live your best life.A spontaneous smile pops up on your face, you can't wait to tell Jude. If Jobe were to have problems, he should talk to you, not that he could change your decision.But now, you had other important things to think about:what you should wear tonight and especially what you should bring in your suitcase.You rushed home to get ready, you missed Jude's family and especially these evenings together that reminded you so much of the old days.As soon as you heard your phone buzzing, you saw a message from Jude.
Jude: Here, looking forward to seeing you.
This message gives you butterflies in your stomach and you answer him right away with a “I'll be right there” and literally run to the door.As soon as you open it you see Jude's car with him waving at you and you wave back at him, a little embarrassed.The effect this man has on you, god.He opens the door from inside and smiles at you.
“Beautiful as always, I'm not surprised “He tells you, stroking your cheek.
“Stop it come on “You say laughing with embarrassment,
“Ready for the stressful evening with my mother?”
“I love your mother, you know that.”
“ And she loves you, how could she not?”
The ride was very fast and also very quiet. As soon as he parks in front of the house, he pauses for a moment and turns to you.
"I don't want to pressure you, but I wanted to ask if you've decided about Madrid."
"I'm in, yes."
"Yes?" He lunges at you, hugging you tightly, making you laugh.
As soon as you get out of the car, you wait for him to open the door and go in. You immediately see a well-set table, full of food and nicely decorated. "She's here," Jude says, raising his voice a little to be heard.
You see his mom rush over to you, showering you with compliments. "Sweetheart, you look so beautiful, is everything alright?" "Yes, everything's fine, thank you." You also see his father, who greets you with a hug. But someone is missing, Jobe. As if his mom could read your mind, she looks around and turns to Jude. "Can you call your brother, please? You know how he is."
As Jude went to call Jobe, his mom guided you to a seat at the table, her eyes sparkling with warmth. "So, tell me, how are your studies going, dear?" she asked, genuinely interested.
You smiled, appreciating her kindness. "They're going well, thank you. It's a lot of work, but I enjoy it."
She nodded approvingly. "That's wonderful to hear. You've always been so dedicated and hardworking. What are you focusing on again?"
"Psychology," you replied.
Her eyes lit up. "That's fantastic! It's such an important field. We need more compassionate people like you in that area. Jude has mentioned how passionate you are about your studies."
You felt a warm blush creep up your cheeks. "He has?"
She chuckled softly. "Oh yes, he talks about you all the time. He's so proud of you, you know."
You looked down, a shy smile playing on your lips. "He's always been very supportive."
She leaned in a bit closer, her expression softening. "And how are things with Jude? He seems so happy lately. You two have always had such a special bond."
You took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. "Things are good. We've been spending more time together, and... well, it's been really nice."
She reached out and patted your hand gently. "I'm so glad to hear that. You know, we've always seen you as part of the family. And Jude, he's been different since you two have been getting closer. Happier, more at ease. I think you bring out the best in each other."
Your heart swelled at her words. "Thank you. That means a lot."
You see Jude returning with Jobe, and as soon as he spots you, he wraps you in a hug and says to you, “So, you and Jude have been having fun without me, huh?”
“We were just catching up”
“Catching up, huh?” Jobe’s playful tone was laced with an edge of curiosity. He settled into the chair next to you, giving you a warm smile that contrasted with the serious look he had worn when he’d last seen you.
Jude looked between you and his brother, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah, we’ve been having a bit of fun. But tonight’s about family, remember?”
Jobe chuckled, shaking his head. “Fair enough. But you owe me a detailed account of your escapades later.”
You started eating, Denise kept filling you with questions, Jobe was talking about his latest achievements in football, but at some point, Jude got in the way. "Oh, Mom. I have some good news. Y/N will come with me to Madrid for a while, he says, rubbing her hands. "Really? Great, at least I won't have to worry about you every day"
You were happy that he had said it and above all that his mother was happy. But suddenly you turn towards Jobe, who does not seem as excited by the news.
"Can we talk later?" He whispers to you and you can do nothing but nod. Is it because of the thing he said a few days ago? Is it because he is worried about you?
After dinner, as the dishes were cleared and everyone began to relax, Jobe gave you a subtle nod, indicating it was time to talk. You excused yourself from the group and followed him to a quieter corner of the house, away from the bustling kitchen and the cozy living room where Jude was chatting with his parents.
Jobe leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. His usual easy going demeanor was replaced by a more serious expression. You couldn’t help but notice the concern in his eyes, making your heart flutter nervously.
“Alright, what’s going on?” Jobe started, his voice gentle but firm. “I want to make sure you’re not jumping into something without thinking it through.”
Your heart sank a little. “What do you mean? I thought you’d be happy for me.”That’s not true.You thought about him not being too happy.
He looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. “I am happy for you. But it’s a big change, and I just want to make sure you’re not rushing into something because of... well, because of Jude.”
You felt a pang of frustration. “Is this about what you said the other day? About not wanting Jude to hurt me?”
Jobe sighed. “You weren’t supposed to hear that. But listen,Jude is amazing and I know he makes you feel good. But in his world of fame, girls can be too much to take. Especially for you.”
He looked at you, his expression softening. “I know you are. I’m just worried about you, that's all. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Your heart ached at his concern, but you needed him to understand. “I get that, Jobe. But I promise you, everything’s going to be fine.” You say with a comforting smile.
Jobe studied your face for a moment before nodding slowly. “Alright, I trust you. But you’ll have to update me about everything.”
You smiled, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. “Always”
He gave you a reassuring hug.You hear footsteps approaching and turn to see Jude with a curious expression on his face. "What's going on here?" he asks, a smile playing on his lips.
"We're just saying goodbye before your trip," Jobe explains.
Jude nods, glancing between the two of you. "Well then, why don't we go inside? It's kind of cold out here."
You nod in agreement, and Jude places a reassuring hand on your shoulder, guiding you back into the warmth of the house. As you step inside, you feel a touch on your arm and turn to see Jobe leaning in towards Jude.
"Take care of her," Jobe whispers earnestly.
"Of course, don’t worry," Jude responds with a confident smile, his eyes meeting Jobe's eyes in understanding.
The evening drew to a close, and it was time to head home. You had a flight to catch the next day. After saying your goodbyes with warm hugs, you stepped out the door. Jude was there waiting, giving you a comforting smile. You felt a sense of relief that you and Jobe had cleared the air, and excitement bubbled up for what awaited you tomorrow.
"Ready for tomorrow?" Jude's voice pulled you back to the present, and you nodded, laughing softly.
"I have no idea what to pack," you admitted.
Jude chuckled and draped his arm around your shoulder. "Don't worry, Madrid has everything you need. And you'll be with me—looks won't matter."
You both laughed, remembering a childhood event. "Do you remember that time we ate ice cream alone at my house?" you asked, a grin spreading across your face.
"How could I forget?" Jude replied, laughing. "I still remember your mother's face when she saw the mess we made."
The memory was vivid: sticky hands, ice cream everywhere, and your mother's exasperated but amused expression.
When Jude drops you off in front of your house, he wraps you in a big hug. "See you tomorrow then."
“Yes, I'm so excited,” you reply, your voice bubbling with enthusiasm.
Jude chuckles. "You're cute when you do that."
"Thank you," you say, smiling.
He hesitates for a moment, then adds, "If I could, I'd come home with you." His words send a thrill through you, and with a newfound boldness, you take his hand and gently tug him closer.
"Then come on up," you invite, your eyes sparkling with mischief.
Jude grins, his eyes twinkling. "Don't tempt me like that. We'll have plenty of nights together, don't worry."
#x reader#fanfic#jude bellingham fanfic#jude bellingham#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham smut#fanfic series#x yn#x you#x fem!reader#x female y/n#x female reader#jude bellingham blurb#family#best friends to lovers
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Begin Again
SUMMARY: Based on the song Begin Again by Taylor Swift. Just Tyler being a southern gentleman on a blind date to a girl who had written off love after her last relationship. FLUFF
WARNINGS: Mentions of previous toxic relationships.
WORD COUNT: 3.6K
The soft hum of the phone vibrating on the kitchen counter pulled her attention away from the sink. She dried her hands on a dish towel, glancing at the screen. Dani.
She sighed, bracing herself as she answered, "Hey, Dani. What's up?"
"Hey! So, I've got something exciting to tell you!" Dani's voice was filled with that infectious enthusiasm that made it impossible to be completely irritated with her, even when she was being pushy.
"Oh no, what now?" She teased, leaning against the counter.
"Don't sound so skeptical! I've got a guy for you."
"A guy?" Her heart sank a little, the memory of her last relationship flashing in her mind. It had been almost eight months since it ended, and the wounds were still fresh. "Dani, I told you, I'm not–"
"Hear me out!" Dani interrupted, her voice taking on that determined edge. "His name is Tyler Owens. He works with me, and he's seriously one of the most down-to-earth guys I've ever met. He's funny, and kind, and honestly, he's just a great guy. I really think you two would hit it off."
She hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip. "I don't know, Dani. I've kind of sworn off dating for a while, remember?"
"I know, I know," Dani replied, her tone softening. "But this isn't like your last relationship. Tyler's different. He's got his life together, and he's not the type to play games. Plus, it's just one date. No pressure."
She could feel the walls she'd built around herself starting to crack. Dani had a way of making things sound so simple, so easy. But it wasn't easy. Not after what she'd been through. "I just don't think I'm ready yet."
"I get it, I really do," Dani said, her voice gentle now. "But it's been almost eight months. You deserve to have some fun, to get out there again. Just give it a chance. If it's terrible, you can blame me and never let me set you up again."
There was a long pause as she considered Dani's words. She wanted to say no, to stay in her safe bubble where she didn't have to worry about getting hurt again. But at the same time, she knew she couldn't hide forever. "Fine," she finally said, a sigh escaping her lips. "I'll go. But if he's a weirdo, I'm holding you responsible."
Dani let out a squeal of delight. "Yes! You won't regret it, I promise. I'll text you the details. You're going to have a great time, I just know it."
After hanging up, she stared at her reflection in the window above the sink, a mix of apprehension and resignation swirling in her chest. She'd agreed to the date, but the week ahead was already filling her with doubt.
The days passed slowly, each one bringing with it a new wave of uncertainty. She found herself second-guessing her decision, wondering if she was really ready for this. Her last relationship had left her in pieces, and though she'd been slowly putting herself back together, there were still more bad days than good.
Some days, she'd catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror and see the shadows under her eyes, the lines of worry etched into her forehead. On those days, the idea of going on a date seemed laughable. How could she be ready for something new when she wasn't even sure she was ready for herself?
But then there were the good days. The days when she felt like maybe, just maybe, she could handle this. Dani's words echoed in her mind–she deserved to have some fun, to get out there again. Maybe Dani was right. Maybe it was time to take a chance.
Still, as the date approached, she felt the weight of doubt pressing down on her. She hadn't been in a good place mentally since the breakup, and the thought of letting someone new into her life was terrifying. But she'd promised Dani, and she wasn't one to break a promise.
The bathroom was filled with the glow of warm light, reflecting off the mirror as she stood in front of it, her makeup half-finished. She stared at her reflection, taking a deep breath to steady the fluttering in her chest. Her heart wasn't racing from excitement, but from the familiar grip of anxiety that always seemed to creep in when she thought about the past.
Her eyes drifted to the pair of high heels resting on the floor beside her. They were sleek, and elegant, and gave her that extra few inches of confidence she knew she'd need tonight. She loved how they made her feel–taller, more poised. But then, as she reached down to pick them up, a memory surfaced, uninvited.
"Why do you always wear those? You know I don't like it when you're taller than me." His voice echoed in her mind, laced with that dismissive tone she had grown to dread. Back then, she would've put the heels back in the closet and reached for the flats, just to avoid another argument. Just to keep the peace.
But tonight was different. Tonight, she was dressing for herself, not for anyone else. She slipped her feet into the heels, feeling the familiar boost in height and the way they made her legs look longer. A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she straightened up, admiring her reflection once more. This is who I am, she thought, pushing away the remnants of his voice.
With her makeup finished and her hair styled just right, she turned to leave the bathroom. As she reached the front door, she hesitated for a moment before locking it behind her, as if securing herself away from the memories she didn't want to carry with her tonight.
Stepping out into the cool evening air, she pulled her headphones from her purse and placed them in her ears. She scrolled through her playlist until she found the song she always turned to when she needed a boost–a song that made her feel like she could take on the world.
The music filled her ears, and for a moment, she let herself get lost in the melody, the familiar rhythm soothing her nerves. But then, like a shadow creeping into her mind, she remembered his words. "I don't get why you like this song. It's so...repetitive." He'd said it with that same condescending smirk he always had when he didn't approve of something she enjoyed.
Her steps faltered for just a second, the weight of his disapproval tugging at her. But she forced herself to keep walking, pushing the memory away. She turned the volume up, letting the music drown out his voice. This is my night, she reminded herself. Not his.
As she made her way down the street toward the restaurant, she tried to focus on the music, the city lights, and anything that would keep her mind from drifting back to him. But it was hard. He had a way of lingering in the corners of her thoughts, even when she didn't want him there. Even now, as she tried to move forward, she could feel the invisible strings of the past pulling at her, trying to reel her back in.
But she wouldn't let them. Not tonight.
She walked down the bustling street, her heels clicking against the pavement as she approached the restaurant Dani had chosen. The address was saved in her phone, but she barely needed to glance at it–she knew where she was going.
What she didn't know was whether or not she really wanted to be there. Her mind buzzed with thoughts of past disappointments. Her ex had a habit of being late, often leaving her waiting alone, making excuses that always seemed flimsy in retrospect. Worse, there were times when he wouldn't show up at all, leaving her sitting at a table for two that might as well have been a table for one. Those memories weighed heavily on her, feeding her doubts. She wouldn't be surprised if tonight was just more of the same.
But as she turned the corner and the restaurant came into view, she noticed a man standing outside, leaning casually against the wall. He was tall, with a rugged look that was softened by the easy smile on his face. Cowboy boots, dark jeans, and a button-up shirt. He looked exactly like the guy in the picture Dani had sent her.
He's early? The thought caught her off guard, and for a moment, she wasn't sure what to do with it. She had been so prepared for disappointment that the sight of him waiting for her–ahead of time, no less–was almost disorienting.
As she approached, he looked up, meeting her eyes, and that smile widened. He waved, and she felt a flutter in her chest, a mix of nerves and something else she hadn't felt in a long time. Something that felt like hope.
"You must be Dani's friend," he said, his voice warm and inviting as she reached him.
She nodded, managing a small smile. "Yeah, that's me. And you're Tyler, right?"
"That's right," he said with a grin. "Nice to finally meet you."
He held out his hand, and after a brief hesitation, she took it. His grip was firm, reassuring. So different from... She quickly pushed the thought aside, not wanting to tarnish this moment with comparisons to the past.
Tyler opened the door for her, gesturing for her to go in first. "Shall we?"
Inside, the diner was cozy, with checkered tablecloths and soft lighting that gave it a warm, inviting feel. As they followed the hostess to their table, Tyler moved ahead slightly and pulled out her chair. It was such a simple gesture, one that might have gone unnoticed by anyone else, but to her, it meant something more.
Her ex never pulled out her chair. He barely held doors open for her. Little things like that were always too much trouble for him, or so he'd made her feel. But Tyler did it without a second thought as if it were the most natural thing in the world. It wasn't a grand gesture, but it felt like one to her, and she couldn't help but smile as she sat down.
"Thank you," she said, her voice a bit softer than she intended.
Tyler took his seat across from her, brushing it off with a casual wave of his hand. "No problem at all. I'm just glad you made it out tonight."
As they settled in, she realized something–this was different. He was different. The anxiety that had been knotting in her stomach all week began to unravel, just a little, as she started to see Tyler for who he was: someone who was already proving himself to be kind and considerate, something who was a stark contrast to the man she'd been so afraid to find again.
Maybe, just maybe, this wasn't going to be like before.
The soft clatter of plates and low hum of conversation filled the diner as they sat across from each other, menus in hand. She glanced over the options, feeling the weight of the silence between them. It wasn't uncomfortable, just quiet–a moment of stillness before things really began. They ordered their drinks and quickly decided to share an appetizer, sending the waitress off with their choices.
As the waitress walked away, Tyler turned his attention back to her, a relaxed smile playing on his lips. "So, Dani tells me you're an artist?"
She nodded, feeling a bit of warmth rise to her cheeks. "Yeah, I do graphic design. Mostly freelance."
"That's cool," Tyler said, his eyes lighting up with genuine interest. "I've always admired people who can create things like that. I can barely draw a stick figure."
She chuckled softly, the sound surprising her. It had been a while since she felt this at ease with someone new. "It's not as hard as it looks, once you get the hang of it. Plus, it helps pay the bills."
He leaned in slightly, resting his arms on the table. "So, what kind of projects do you usually work on?"
She hesitated for a moment, expecting the usual disinterest she'd grown accustomed to. But there was something about Tyler's expression–open, attentive–that made her want to share more. "I do a lot of logo designs for small businesses. Sometimes I get to work on branding for local events or create custom illustrations. It's always something different, which I like."
Tyler nodded, his smile widening. "Sounds like you get to be creative and make a living out of it. That's the dream, right?"
"Yeah, I guess it is." She smiled back, a genuine one this time, feeling herself relax even more. "I guess it's kind of like you and the YouTube channel right? You're doing something you love, and get to share it with the world."
He nodded. "Yeah, I guess it is."
The conversation flowed easily from there. They talked about the quirks of working freelance, the challenges of finding clients, and the freedom that came with her setting her own schedule. Tyler shared stories from his work as a storm chaser, describing the thrill of the chase and the close calls that kept his adrenaline pumping. She found herself leaning forward, hanging on his every word as he recounted the time he and his team were nearly caught in the path of a twister, only to escape with moments to spare.
"And there we were," Tyler said, his eyes wide with excitement, "huddled in this tiny storm shelter with the wind howling outside, thinking we were done for. But when the storm passed, we came out and saw that it had just missed us by a couple hundred yards. It was the closest call to an EF5 that we've ever had."
She laughed, not just at the story, but at the way he told it, with such animated gestures and an infectious energy that made it impossible not to smile. "That sounds terrifying, but also kind of amazing. I don't know how you do it."
Tyler shrugged, a playful glint in his eye. "Well, someone's got to do it. Plus, I get to see some incredible things out there. It's worth the risk."
She found herself smiling again, and it felt good. It felt easy. And that was the most surprising part–how natural it was to talk to him, how quickly the tension she'd been carrying all day seemed to melt away in his presence.
Their drinks arrived, and they clinked glasses, sharing a light-hearted toast to "surviving the week" as Tyler put it. When the appetizer came, they dug in, continuing their conversation without missing a beat.
Tyler kept the conversation going, steering clear of anything too personal or probing. Instead, they exchanged stories about awkward first jobs, favorite movies, and the weird things their friends had done to embarrass them over the years. He was funny, quick with a joke or a witty comment that had her laughing more than she expected to. And when she made a joke–a little self-deprecating comment about her tendency to burn toast–he threw his head back and laughed, a deep, genuine laugh that caught her off guard.
He thinks I'm funny? The thought lingered in her mind, unfamiliar but pleasant. Her ex never really laughed at her jokes, often dismissing them or giving her that condescending smile that made her feel small. But Tyler...Tyler laughed as if he meant it like he actually found her amusing. And that made her feel something she hadn't felt in a long time–validated, seen.
As the evening went on, she realized how much she was enjoying herself. She wasn't overthinking every word, wasn't second-guessing every response. It was just...easy. Comfortable. She hadn't expected that, and the realization both thrilled and scared her. Maybe this could be different. Maybe he really is different.
They were halfway through their meal when she caught herself smiling, genuinely smiling, and it struck her just how rare that had become. Maybe I needed this, she thought, taking another sip of her drink. Maybe this is exactly what I needed.
As the dinner wound down, the waitress approached their table with a polite smile. "Are you ready for the check?"
Tyler nodded, glancing briefly at her before turning back to the waitress. "Yes, please."
"Will that be on one check or two?" the waitress asked, pen poised over her notepad.
Before she could say anything, Tyler answered, "One check will be fine." He reached for his wallet without hesitation, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
She watched him hand over his card, feeling a small flutter of surprise. It wasn't that she expected anything different, but it still felt...odd. He didn't even ask. Her ex always made a point of splitting the bill, an unspoken rule that she'd grown accustomed to over the years. They had never had just one check between them, as if even that small gesture of unity was too much to ask. But Tyler paid for dinner like it was nothing like it was just what he did.
When the waitress returned with the receipt, he signed it and stood up, offering her a hand. She accepted it, feeling the warmth of his palm against hers as he helped her out of the booth.
As they stepped outside, the cool November evening air wrapped around her, causing an involuntary shiver to run down her spine. She wished she had thought to bring a jacket, but in her nervousness, it had slipped her mind.
Without missing a beat, Tyler shrugged off his coat and draped it over her shoulders. "Here, take this."
She looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise. "Are you sure? Won't you be cold?"
He grinned, shaking his head. "I'll be fine. You need it more than I do."
She pulled the coat tighter around herself, feeling the residual warmth from his body heat. It was such a simple gesture, but it meant more to her than she could easily put into words. He gave me his coat, she thought, marveling at the difference. Her ex had never done anything like that, not once. She couldn't even recall a time when he'd offered, let alone insisted.
They started walking towards his car, the conversation flowing easily between them. Tyler pointed out the constellation of Christmas lights twinkling from a nearby shop window, and she found herself smiling, genuinely enjoying the moment.
As they strolled, she almost mentioned her ex, the words on the tip of her tongue. It was such an ingrained habit now, to measure every man she met against that old standard, to compare and contrast and remember all the ways she'd been let down. But before she could speak, Tyler started talking about his family's Christmas traditions, the movies they watched every year without fail. The conversation turned light and nostalgic, and she found herself laughing along with him.
Maybe I don't need to bring him up, she thought. Maybe I don't need to talk about the past at all.
For the first time in eight months, she felt that pull, that desire to leave what was behind her exactly where it belonged–in the past. She looked over at Tyler, his smile easy and warm, and she felt a flicker of something new. Something hopeful.
The night had settled into a comfortable quiet as they left the restaurant, walking side by side. The cold air nipped at her cheeks, and she pulled Tyler's coat tighter around her, savoring the warmth. They approached the corner where she usually turned to walk home, but before she could say anything, Tyler stopped and looked at her.
"It's freezing out here," he said, concern lacing his voice. "Let me drive you home."
She hesitated, instinctively pulling back. "Oh, you don't have to do that. It's not far, really."
He gave her a gentle, reassuring smile. "I know, but I'd feel better if you weren't out here in the cold. Please, let me give you a ride."
His politeness, his genuine care for her comfort–it was all so different. She nodded, the tension in her shoulders easing slightly. "Okay. Thank you."
They walked back to his car, and he opened the passenger door for her, waiting until she was comfortably seated before closing it gently. The car was warm, and she relaxed into the seat as they drove, the conversation continuing in its easy, unforced way.
When they arrived at her apartment, Tyler parked the car and got out, walking around to her side to open the door. He offered his hand to help her out, and she took it, stepping onto the sidewalk with a small smile.
"Thank you," she said softly, glancing up at him. "For the ride. And dinner."
"You're welcome," he replied, his voice warm. "I had a great time tonight."
They walked up the steps to her front door, and she felt a familiar pang of anxiety. This was the moment when things usually soured, where her ex would barely say goodbye before heading back to his car if he even bothered to get out at all. But Tyler stood with her, not rushing, not pushing for anything more than a simple goodnight.
"Well," he said, a touch of hesitation in his voice, "I guess this is goodnight."
She nodded, her heart beating a little faster. "Yeah, I guess so."
He smiled at her, and for a moment, it felt like the world stood still. He wasn't rushing to leave, and he wasn't pressing her for anything. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes. "Goodnight," he said, his voice soft and sincere.
"Goodnight," she echoed, her hand lingering on the door handle. She watched him turn and start walking back to his car, her mind racing. He was already so different from what she was used to, so thoughtful, so kind. For the past eight months, she had convinced herself that all love ever did was break, burn, and end. But tonight felt different. Tonight, it felt like something new was beginning.
TAG LIST: @omgbrianab I @shanimallina87
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I have been obsessed with the idea of Paris coming to the modern day in the same way Midas, Lityerses, and Medea did. Like, If anybody had some unfinished business, it's every citizen of Troy. Anyway here are some different little scenarios I've cooked up about how this silly little war criminal fared after making a mad dash for the doors of death in HoO.
Ok, so in this scenario, Paris is recruited by Gaea just like all the other spirits who come back from the dead. He ends up being tasked with working alongside Octavian. At first, he's driven only by grief and anger at the loss of his own family and city. As they approach Camp Half-Blood, Paris regularly remarks on how happy he is that's he'll be the one storming the walls this time. But over time, he slowly finds himself growing worried about Octavian's sanity. He tries to steer Octavian away from making reckless decisions, but Octavian refuses to back down. Paris sees the deadly fervor of his fellow soldiers in Octavian, and pulls away. From here we split off into two endings. 1. (the sad one) Octavian's fate plays out the same as the books and Paris just has to deal with how his actions unintentionally spurred the young man towards his own death. Or 2. (the happy one) Paris leaving is the wake-up call Octavian needs, and he pulls himself out of battle at the last second, breaking the cycle of hatred and wrath that started at Troy. Pick your fighter I guess.
In this scenario, Paris is not the only one who comes back from the doors of death. Half of the Argo II crew find him in Ancient Greece (Don't ask why he's there instead of Turkey idk shhhhh) And he's very helpful to them in whatever quest they're trying to complete at the time. All's well that ends well, except the OTHER half of the Argo II crew actually just met up with Hector on the other side of Greece lol. Turns out neither brother knows the other is alive, and the Argo II take the time to reunite the pair. I would specifically set this in BoO, and have the focus be on Jason and Leo as parallels for Hector and Paris, especially with them both thinking about sacrificing themselves bc of the prophecy (the whole "storm or fire" thing). Like, my idea is that a lot of emphasis would be put on Hector dying first, and how he sacrificed for Troy, and how Paris wishes he could've saved Hector. And Jason would come away from that thinking "Yes, I want to be Hector, i've made peace with making the final sacrifice to keep my friends safe" and Leo thinking "I'll do what Paris couldn't and give my life so that Jason doesn't have to" and ahhhh angst.
This is a ToA scenario instead of an HoO scenario. Paris and one of his siblings come back to life like in the last one, but instead of it being Hector, this time it's Cassandra. Idk when this would happen in the timeline of ToA, bc those books are so tight knit (maybe the infamous TTT to TON roadtrip) But I would add a little side quest where Apollo and Meg have to find Cassandra bc Nero's trying to kidnap her or smth. They run into Paris while they're searching for Cassandra, and the three of them team up for a lil bit. In this scenario, Paris works as a direct parallel to Apollo, all though he's a bit further behind on his redemption journey. Basically, Apollo feels like he's looking at slightly embarrassing old pictures of himself. When they find Cassandra, Apollo offers a genuine apology for everything he did to her. Emboldened by Apollo's example, Paris also opens up to Cassandra in a way he'd never done before. The two are finally able to air out their shared grief from Troy, and they set out to ... idk New Rome or the Waystation or smth. Either way they're a lot closer as siblings now, and Apollo promises to visit them once the Trials are over.
Of course, these are only my ideas that kinda fit into canon, I have a whole bunch more that go entirely off the rails. Anyways this pathetic little failure of a man has bewitched my body and soul or whatever I love rolling him around like a balled up chewing gum wrapper.
#trials of apollo#heroes of olympus#sunny speaks#apollart#paris iliad#hector iliad#cassandra iliad#toa apollo#lester papadopoulos#octavian pjo#jason grace#leo valdez#greek mythology#long post
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Not a bad decision
Summary: Dresses are stressful.
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A/n: A short lil blurb like thing which was supposed to be posted during @/starfallweek, but i decided the other fics were better, so you get this now
(also i feel like i wrote this when i was sleepy even though i did not because this fic's writing feels a lil different from all my other ones 🤷🏻♀️)
well well guess who forgot to name the fic. IT WAS MEEEEE
anyways, Enjoy!
Dresses were not something Y/n was interested in, that much would be clear to anything with a pulse and a brain.
They were something everyone around Y/n was interested in though, and she felt like a rabbit among deers as Feyre gushed about the new seamstress the high lady had hired with her sisters and Mor.
"Oh mother, I am telling you Mor, she makes the most wonderful dresses. The dress I wore last week that you loved? She made it."
Y/n tuned them out, or tried to anyway. They were too loud, so loud that even the mother would have begged them to shut up.
"Y/n?"
Y/n blinked, glancing up from where she was sharpening her daggers to keep them ready for if she had to go to a mission in the near future.
"Yes?"
"Elain asked you what you were going to be wearing to the party." Mor told her, a knowing gleam in her eye.
"Oh." Y/n straightened, clearing her throat as she tried to think of an excuse to what she knew was coming. "Um, I think I'll be getting some new leathers, maybe a new shirt-"
"A shirt?" Nesta questioned, her eyes incredulous.
"Uh yes?" Y/n's cheeks were blazing, and she understood why it was shocking to the newer additions in the Inner circle like Nesta and Elain as they had only recently been made fae, and even then it had been rare for the to attend family parties.
"Y/n hasn't worn dresses in centuries." Mor explained, making Y/n deflate a little in relief.
"But why?"
"That, I don't know."
Y/n rolled her eyes at that. "Wearing a dress is not convenient. I can't fight in it."
And she looked weird in them. She never thought herself beautiful enough to look good or even begin to compare to the other beautiful females, so she never tried to wear anything other than her trusty leathers.
Nesta gave Y/n a look, and having become very close with Nesta to the point where Y/n had even started to consider her a sister, Y/n knew that look meant no good.
"No one is going to try to rip out your throat at a high lord's party you know."
Y/n smiled at Nesta, playing coy as Feyre announced that the seamstress had arrived and was waiting for them in the sitting room. "You never know Nesta, you never know."
"You are wearing a dress for this party. I won't take no for an answer."
Y/n's eyes widened when she realised Nesta was not bluffing. "I- I can't-"
"You will." Nesta muttered, her sentence ending in Y/n's cry of shock as Nesta grabbed Y/n's arm and dragged her over to where the other ladies had disappeared into the sitting rom.
Mother help me.
Nesta knew about Y/n's harmless little crush on Azriel. Of course she did. She knew everything.
She also insisted that this crush was not harmless, giving some stupid reason how Y/n was getting shyer and more concerned about what Azriel thought about her, leading to her becoming more secluded.
Y/n did not believe Nesta's wild accusations though. She was sure this little infatuation would go away with time, even if it hadn't in the past three hundred years.
"Y/n, are you coming or should I arrange your funeral?"
Y/n rolled her eyes at Nesta's absurd statement as she began walking towards the door.
"And why would you do that?"
Y/n found Nesta glaring at her when she opened her bedroom door.
"Because it sure seems like you were taking your time dying in there."
Y/n laughed, but the sound was short lived as her previous insecurities came rushing back as she glanced down at what she was wearing. She was so scared of how weird she would look she hadn't even glanced in a mirror, and now felt like it was a bad idea to be completely unaware of how she looked because now, she wished to die.
Maybe Nesta should arrange a funeral.
"How do I look?" Y/n questioned, and by the soft look on Nesta's face, Y/n knew her concerns were clear in her voice.
"If I were Azriel, I would kill myself if I wasn't the one removing that dress tonight, I'm just saying." Nesta muttered, shrugging. Y/n gaped at her.
"What- I- I don't even know what to think-"
"Good then. Stop thinking and just enjoy the party. You're already late. All the guests have arrived, and starfall is about to begin soon. We need to hurry."
Y/n nodded, and with a last skeptical look at her dress, she hurried after Nesta.
Starfall was considered a sacred night, and more so in Velaris. Plus add to that the extra and huge show off that was Rhys. The party was bound to be extravagant.
And sure enough, when Y/n stepped into the main ball room where everyone was gathered, drinking and chatting and dancing, Y/n's eyes widened in amazement. It should not have been a shock, considering Y/n had been attending these parties as part of the inner circle for the past three centuries. But this was a party thrown by Rhys, and he had an unbeatable streak of always shocking Y/n with his over the top arrangemens.
"Y/n!" Came the whining voice of Cassian, and Y/n turned to find him running towards where Nesta and Y/n stood, his head turned to look at someone behind him.
Y/n smiled. "What happened?"
At that, Cassian turned to look at the two females, an adorable pout on his lips. "Azriel is not being very nice-"
Cassian's eyes were fixed on Y/n, wide and shocked. She blinked at him, glancing down at herself, doubt again creeping in before she made herself meet his eyes.
"Cass?" Nesta mumbled, a self satisfied smirk on her face.
He blinked, glancing at Nesta for a moment before turning back to Y/n. "You- you look good."
Blood rushed to Y/n's cheeks at that. "Thank you."
He nodded, his eyes running down her frame quickly before he seemed to remember what he came here for. "Azriel. He's fighting with me."
Y/n blinked. "Fighting? For what?"
"I begged him to drink with me, and he said no. And then he was being mean and not nice at all."
Y/n laughed, patting his shoulder. "I'll take care of him, don't worry."
He seemed satisfied. "He is right next to the refreshments table."
Y/n nodded uncertainly, then went off to find Azriel.
She found him exactly where Cassian had said she would, and she walked up to him with a deep breath.
"I heard you were bullying Cassian."
He turned to meet her eyes, then froze. Y/n had to stifle the urge to cover herself somehow with the way he was studying her form. He himself looked ravishing, clad in a tight shirt and a coat.
To get some semblance of control back, she snapped her fingers in front of his unfairly handsome ace, and he startled.
That in turn startled Y/n.
She, a mere fae, had managed to startle the spymaster of night court? This was certainly new.
"I- what? Did you say something?"
He... was he... blushing?
No why would he blush?
Was he?
"I heard you were bullying Cassian?"
His brows furrowed. "I haven't seen him since this morning though."
Y/n blinked, then whipped around to glare at where Cassian and Nesta were standing, off in a dark, secluded corner, and giggling among themselves.
Y/n folded her arms across her chest, feeling betrayed, but before she could think more about that, Azriel's voice broke her focus.
"Um, Y/n? Will you- can I have a dance?"
Y/n stared at his nervously shifting form, speechless. "You- you want to dance... with me?"
He nodded, his confidence seeming to increase as he extended his hand, his gaze boring deep into Y/n's eyes. So deep it seemed to touch her soul.
Blushing, she slid her hand into his scarred one, and, in a burst of boldness, ran her thumb over the back of his hand. The move seemed to shock him, but still, he led her to the dance floor, his back straight, wings high.
As she followed behind him, she could not help but glance around in search of Nesta, a wide smile on her face when her best friend gave her a thumbs up.
Maybe this was a good idea after all.
Acotar Taglist: @bubybubsters @eos-princess @nightless @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392 @kennedy-brooke @tele86 @miluiel1 @hnyclover @minnieoo @sidrapotter @piceous21 @mybestfriendmademe @saltedcoffeescotch @eve175 @starsinyourseyes @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @cumuluscranium @byyalady @lilah-asteria @girlswithimagination @gardenofrunar
Azriel Taglist: @darthdumbasss @foreverrandomwritings @azrielsmate3 @celestialend @stqrgirlies-blog @tele86 @bakananya @xyzmeh @st4r-girl-official @caraaaaugh @nacho-nat @allllium
#azriel x reader#azriel shadowsinger#azriel#azriel fic#acotar#acotar fandom#acotar fanfic#acotar fluff#acotar series#acotar writing#mating bond#sarah j maas#a court of thorns and roses#acotar headcanon#azriel spymaster#azriel acotar#acotar fanfiction#azriel fanfic#azriel x you
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The Intern Part 1 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: After you try to delay the inevitable, you begin your job search. At least that way you'll be able to get out of your father's house and away from everyone who acts like you're incapable of doing anything on your own. When Bradley pursues you, in part to bolster his own agenda, he's pretty convinced you're more capable than most.
Warnings: Language, reader's dad has a name (eventually 18+)
Length: 3700 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
Find the Prologue here.
The Intern masterlist. Check out my masterlist for more. Banner by @mak-32
Your father wasted no time over the breakfast that his chef made. You were still in your pajamas which consisted of a white silk camisole and shorts set, but he was already in a charcoal suit and tie, ready to seize the day. Or at the very least, your freedom.
"You need an internship," he said firmly as he smeared jelly on a piece of toast. "You need to complete a professional internship to show everyone that you are clever and talented and can think on your feet. You need to show them in person that your last name has nothing to do with it."
This was going to be a lot more involved than you originally thought. You carefully cut into your poached egg and asked, "So I can't just intern with you?"
He sighed and gave you a bland look. "I would love to have you with me all day and show you the ropes at Avio Technologies, but you already know that's not possible. You need to find a different department or a different company altogether."
You chewed your food and shot him a bland look of your own. It was almost amusing that he thought he could outwit you when he was the one who taught you how to play all of his games. "Maybe we could talk about this tomorrow?"
"You already got an extra day out of me, Sweetheart. My generosity has been all used up."
He looked almost amused now, so you knew you were skating on thin ice as you said, "I think an internship that starts in September would be the way to go."
When he set his knife down and bit into his toast, you straightened your back while he chewed. He took his time responding, and when he did, he asked, "And what exactly would you do during June, July and August?"
"There's a lot to be said for a little relaxation, Daddy," you told him in your most professional voice. "I've spent the last six years working nearly every day."
"And I've spent the last thirty five years working nearly every day. Please, get to your point."
You folded your hands in front of yourself and said, "I would be a better intern if I were well rested."
He wiped his mouth with his napkin and stood, taking one last sip of his coffee. If you or he wanted more to eat, his chef would make it. And you could see his housekeeper standing in the kitchen doorway ready to run in and clean up after him as soon as he left the dining room. All of it made you want to scream. You weren't even sure you wanted this lifestyle.
"Are you aware of the stipulations on your trust fund?" your father asked you in a voice laced with more than warning. You could feel the blood rush from your face. You'd been waiting your entire life for that money, and not because you wanted to use it the same way he did.
"Yes."
He nodded at you before he kissed your forehead. "Then make your decisions accordingly. I'll be back in a few hours."
As soon as he was out of the dining room, his housekeeper had her hands on his empty plate and coffee cup, and you abandoned the rest of your food for the relative solace of your bedroom. It wasn't even nine o'clock yet, but it was close to lunchtime on the east coast. Maybe you could call one of your friends from school, but they were probably starting internships of their own this week. You glanced out your windows at the pool, but the landscaping crew was out there with leaf blowers, so you just flopped down onto your bed.
What did you want out of an internship? You wanted it to be like school. You had no problem with hard work, but you preferred it to come with a hefty side of fun. Cocktails, dancing, late night dinners, boys, shopping. You weren't too picky about how that fun was served up, but you were absolutely certain there was more to life than working nonstop. And nobody in their right mind needed as much money as your father had.
You reached for your computer and rolled onto your stomach. The last place you wanted to intern was at Avio Technologies where your supervisor would report every detail of your work back to him. Even if you found a department that had nothing to do with what he was working on, you'd be screwed. Your dad knew everyone. He'd find out if you forgot to cover your mouth when you coughed or yawned too loudly. No, you needed to find something without your dad's help.
After you update your résumé and your LinkedIn profile, you thought about contacting that hot recruiter you met in grad school. You were pretty sure you still had his number in your phone contacts. Maybe you should make a to-do list. Or maybe you should go back to bed now that your dad was gone. You ended up lounging around for so long that your stomach was growling because of your unfinished breakfast.
"Fuck it," you murmured, strolling out of your room still in your silk pajamas. If the groundskeepers saw you as you walked past the French doors, then it was their own fault. And honestly, you were more covered up now than you were when you were wearing your bathing suit anyway.
The fact that you had to sneak into the kitchen so nobody tried to help you toast a slice of bread was beyond annoying, but you tiptoed through the house anyway. You ended up walking around as you ate the toast, probably leaving a trail of crumbs, but at least this way the housekeeper would be entertained again. You wondered what the staff did all day long when it was only your dad here. He could literally take care of himself if he tried, but why try when you're worth billions?
You popped the last bite into your mouth and started dancing through the foyer to the song that was stuck in your head. You did a few spins and pirouettes, and then you started making up an actual routine as you hummed. When you heard the front door open, you tried to freeze, but your foot caught on the marble floor, and you stumbled awkwardly. Just when you braced yourself for a lecture from your father, you were greeted by deep laughter and amused brown eyes instead.
"Oh," you said, pressing your palm to your chest as you regained your footing. "It's just you."
"Just me," Bradley Bradshaw replied with a shrug. He surveyed your body, and you could tell he was trying his best not to react to your outfit. Or lack thereof.
You crossed your arms over your chest. "Yes. I'm still in my pajamas."
"I didn't say a word about it," he replied immediately, those brown eyes suddenly feigning innocence.
You knew your shorts left nothing to the imagination. You were also very aware that your nipples were probably peaked against your silk top, but you kept reminding yourself you were wearing less than this yesterday in the pool. Bradley however was wearing another designer suit that hugged him in all the right places, and his tie was once again a little too loose for you to take him completely seriously. His hair was a bit mussed today, too. Maybe his wife or girlfriend had run her fingers through it, but if that was the case, then he shouldn't be looking at you this way.
"What are you doing here?" you asked him.
His hands were back on his narrow hips as he replied, "Supposed to have lunch with your father."
"At least the chef and housekeeper will have something to do," you muttered to yourself. Then a little louder you said, "My dad's not back yet, and I hope you don't expect me to entertain you."
He chuckled. "Of course not. You look busy as hell dancing around. I definitely wouldn't want to interrupt that."
"Correct," you replied, tipping your chin in the air. "I've got no time for nonsense. Unless... did you bring your Armani swim trunks? It's a little early in the day for skinny dipping." You took a step closer to him. You couldn't pinpoint exactly why it was so fun to tease him, but he looked down at the floor and blushed a little bit before he replied which made you feel even bolder.
He met your eyes and said, "How embarrassing. I'm too early for lunch, and I'm too early for skinny dipping." His voice was a little softer now and you bit your lip, which drew his gaze to your mouth.
"You could always come back later."
His amused smile from yesterday was back as he said, "You really are a bit of a brat."
Then your father was right there, closing the front door behind him with a flourish as you took a step away from Bradley. He hadn't moved an inch, and his eyes were still on yours even as your father said his name.
"Sir," Bradley replied, turning toward him and holding out his hand. Your father shook it before patting him on the shoulder.
"We've been over this before, Bradley. You can call me Ted. We've been working together for a while."
"Ted," Bradley repeated, and you could tell that your father was secretly pleased by this show of respect. You wanted to roll your eyes, and then you realized that you were standing in the foyer in your pajama set at noon, and that was going to be a problem.
When your father turned toward you, his gaze was unamused. "Have you done anything today?"
"It's only lunchtime, Daddy," you replied. "But I updated my résumé."
"You have something better than a résumé," he snapped. "You have connections. Use them. I want you to have solidified an internship by the end of the week."
"But-"
He cut you right off, and you could feel the heat rising to your face as Bradley looked at you a little sympathetically.
"I don't generally deal with people who force me to repeat myself," your father said. "And I think you'll find I'm not the only one."
Now you were getting a little angry. He was talking to you like you just tanked a business deal for him. "I'm not some random person from your company."
But you could tell he wasn't listening now. He wouldn't really listen again until you had a job. "Once you find yourself an internship, I think you'll see that whomever you're working under won't take kindly to that sort of attitude. Now go get dressed," he said, dismissing you as he nodded toward the dining room and started walking.
You were left standing there with your hands on your silk covered hips and your bottom lip held firmly between your teeth. Bradley was giving you a curious look as he started to follow your father. "I'll see you around?"
"Yeah," you replied, barely meeting his eyes. Your dad embarrassed you in front of him. And sure, maybe you should have been dressed for the day, but you just got back to California. You wanted a chance to catch your breath. But now you were standing there watching both of their retreating forms with a bad taste in your mouth.
----------------------------
After an uneventful lunch with Ted, Bradley walked slowly back through his house. It was really more of a mansion or an estate, something that Bradley supposed he himself could afford now if he so desired, but he was used to his condo in Mission Hills. And he just couldn't picture having staff living with him.
He found that his head was on a swivel, peeking out the French doors to check the pool area and glancing up the main stairs to see if you were still around. A smile always crept to his lips whenever he thought about you, and it was obvious why. You were clearly a bit of a handful. Definitely a touch bratty. Old enough to know better, but young enough to not give too much of a damn. And you always made Bradley laugh.
At Christmastime, you were tipsy and tried to get him to drink a bottle of wine with you. He spent the rest of the night wondering what would have happened if he actually followed you into your father's kitchen, just the two of you. If anyone else happened upon that scene, he figured it would have gotten back to Ted. It was probably for the best that someone else had interrupted that.
But now his mind was swirling with information. You needed an internship. Bradley was headed off to Europe and could use an extra hand with work all summer. There would be endless meetings and constant schmoozing about the proprietary missile guiding software that Avio Technologies was currently peddling to the US Navy. Bradley was silently dreading doing it alone.
You might also serve as a useful source of information. If anyone knew what exactly was going on at Avio regarding the misuse of funds that he was certain he'd stumbled upon, Bradley was sure it would be Ted. Your father knew everyone. He had his hands in the research end of things where Bradley worked as well as the sales end of things where his old friend Jake Seresin was currently dabbling.
This is why Bradley was spending so much of his time here now; he was looking for information. And also for Ted's daughter. If he could appeal to your tastes as far as a job went, maybe he could get you to join him for the summer.
"Once again, I'm sorry about my daughter," Ted said with a sigh as he walked Bradley across the foyer. "She's stubborn. Headstrong. She wants to have her own agenda. She'll make an exceptional CFO someday."
Bradley couldn't help but chuckle. "Something tells me you're right."
"She just has a lot to learn about staying in your pajamas until noon and working your connections to your benefit, but she'll get there," he replied with a wave of his hand.
Bradley glanced up the stairs one more time, hoping for a glimpse of white silk and your pretty face, but you had tucked yourself away somewhere out of sight. "Thanks for lunch," Bradley said, holding out his hand for Ted to shake. "I always appreciate when you let me pick your brain, sir."
He chuckled and clapped Bradley on the back again. "How many times do I have to tell you to use my first name?"
"Always one more, I guess," Bradley replied, heading toward the front door with a smile. "See you at the office later this week."
Once he was outside in the sunlight, he slipped on his favorite pair of aviators he'd had since he first started flying F/A-18s and headed for his SUV. He walked past an assortment of sports cars in the circular drive before he got to his more modest black Range Rover Velar. As he drove back into the city to the office, he already started to formulate a plan. He just hoped you'd be around when he showed up again tomorrow. You were already integral to his agenda.
When his phone rang, he took it in the car as he wove through traffic. He didn't even check the number since only a handful of people had it. "Bradshaw," he said as he pulled up to a red light. "Bradley, it's Judy." He sighed and relaxed back against the seat; his receptionist was exceptional. She could take a pile of bullshit and whittle it down to the bare minimum of necessary information for him. He needed to give her another raise. "I have a few résumés here, and some of them were dropped off by hand. You know... a few Vice Presidents are trying to get their kids jobs in the software development lab. There are also some who are hoping for professional internships. Want to look at them, or should I toss them?"
Bradley ran his hand over his mouth before he said, "I'm on my way back to the office now. I'll take a look at them, but I'm hoping I found an alternative solution to a professional intern that might just be perfect."
------------------------
The following morning, you stood in your closet and held up your white bikini. You looked at it longingly, ran your fingers along the cute triangles that made up the top and wrapped the ties around your fingers before tossing it aside. Instead, you changed out of your pink nightie into an outfit that your father would probably refer to as 'smart casual' as soon as he saw you.
But you were alone for breakfast, because he was already gone for the day. When his chef asked you what you wanted to eat, she looked annoyed when you said cereal and fruit and told her you could get it yourself. The refrigerator was completely stocked, and you loved that your dad had removed cherries from his shopping lists since you found out you were allergic.
You swiped a peach and some berries onto the counter and started cutting them up, and now the chef looked like she was about to faint. You added them to the top of your cereal bowl and smiled pleasantly at her before you headed into the dining room with your coffee and breakfast. You'd have to contact some potential employers today. You already knew that. But you found yourself lingering over your meal until the cereal was soggy, trying to put off the inevitable a little longer.
You bargained with yourself. If you spent the morning looking for an internship, then you could lounge by the pool for the afternoon. "Excellent bargaining. You're so smart," you told yourself as you returned your dirty dishes to the kitchen while the housekeeper bounced on her feet nervously. She met you at the sink and snagged everything out of your hands.
With your computer on your lap, you sat on the couch and made a list of companies in San Diego that might fit the bill. The problem was, Avio was at the top of the list, simply because of the sheer number of different departments housed in the main office downtown. When you clicked on the Research and Development header, you saw a smug looking photo of Bradley Bradshaw and started to laugh.
"Clearly you know you're handsome," you muttered, reading about him in his short bio. Department Lead for Research and Development at Avio Technologies. Fifteen years as a US Naval aviator. Retired with medals of honor and a rank of Lieutenant Commander. Leading Avio in cutting edge research for naval aircraft software. "Impressive."
You scrolled through a few other departments and made a separate list of people to ask your father to introduce you to. When your stomach started growling, you realized it was already noon. "Time flies when you're not having fun," you murmured as you dashed upstairs, your bikini calling to you like a siren song.
Only because it would be convenient, you decided to ask the chef to make you lunch so you could eat it outside by the pool. You were just tying your sheer beach cover up over your bathing suit and leaving your room when you heard your dad's voice along with some others. As silently as you could, you tiptoed barefoot down the main stairs, looked both ways and dashed to the left toward the French doors. And then you slammed directly into someone.
"Shit," you whispered, grabbing onto an Armani suit while hands came up to your back to steady you. Then you looked up into those same pretty brown eyes as the big hands tightened around your waist. "It's you again."
Bradley was laughing, and the deep rumble had you pressing yourself against him. "Me again."
You tried not to laugh as you whispered, "If you come with me, you can ditch the rest of the suits." For some reason, you wanted him to join you on the patio, just like he had the other day. He'd ditched everyone else for your company then, and you wanted him to do precisely that again.
You tugged him toward the doors, but he just shook his head. "It's too early for skinny dipping, remember?" A rather inappropriate retort was poised and ready to go, just sitting on the tip of your tongue, but he added, "But I actually was looking for you."
Now your heart fluttered. "You were?"
"Mmhmm," he hummed, releasing his hold on you. Your initial instinct was to whine until he touched you again, and you had to bite your lip to prevent another embarrassing moment. "I couldn't help but overhear yesterday that you're looking for a professional internship."
When he paused, you said, "I am. Go on."
He smirked, and he looked so much like his photo on the Avio Technologies website, you almost started laughing again. "I think I have something that could be exactly what you're looking for. Are you free tomorrow?"
"I could be. As long as it doesn't interfere with my sunbathing," you told him, and you watched his Adam's apple bob as his gaze dipped briefly to your chest.
Your breath caught in your throat as that pretty pink color flooded his cheeks. He reached into his pocket without taking his eyes off your face and then held a business card between his index and middle fingers right in front of your lips. "Call my office this afternoon. Judy will set something up for tomorrow." He paused again. "If you're interested."
You plucked the card from his grasp, and he smiled as he turned to his left and headed for your father's conference room. As you studied the tidy font, you wondered what he was looking for in an intern. You wondered what he could offer you. After a quick detour to grab your phone, you went outside to make a call.
You were interested.
------------------------
Interested is an understatement for me. Offer her a job, Bradley! And pack you swim shorts, baby boy. Thank you @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 2
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Is there a chance you can toxic Ellie x reader. Where Reader was leaving Ellie for good and she never came back.
just a drabble since im still really busy but i had to write it because we all deserve something better than toxic!ellie!! i know i know we love ellie just, please, not the toxic one🩷
: ̗̀➛ the scene was going on for hours. you kept packing your things, she kept taking them and placing back on the shelves. your shirt had wet stains in places where your tears dropped and soaked into it.
"you're so dramatic." she smirked, taking a step forwards.
: ̗̀➛ you shook your head and wiped your cheeks with the back of your hand. "no, i am not. i won't let you ruin me. not anymore."
"who told you i ruin you?" her amused smile faded as she put her arms on her hips. "can't you see that this person, whoever it was, is manipulating you? they know you're nothing without me so they're trying to separate us. they're praying on your downfall and you? you're just helping them."
"why would my own best friend do something like that? no, ellie, you're just— insane, crazy, a fucking psycho, whatever!" you zipped up your backpack and picked it up.
: ̗̀➛ she watched as you carefully walked over the stairs. "you haven't even packed like... half of your things."
"oh well!" you sarcastically laughed. "you'll have a souvenir."
"so you don't plan on coming back for them?" she frowned, finally realising that, this time, you're serious.
: ̗̀➛ you didn't answer, putting your jacket on. she walked over to you and tried to kiss you, but you dodged her with a hiss.
"come on, babe" she sighed. "y'know how i can make it up to you..."
"just leave me alone" you begged and took a few steps backwards, until your back hit the door.
"don't make a scene" she bit her lip as she watched you make your way through the doorstep. "come back inside and we'll figure something out."
: ̗̀➛ you shook your head and finally turned around.
"okay" she nodded. "have a day off. but i'll find you. you know i will."
: ̗̀➛ you chuckled through your tears. "good luck"
⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
: ̗̀➛ two days later you were in a train to a different state. this decision was spontaneous and you could as well end up being homeless but you were sure you'll survive, somehow. your friend - luccy called you, waking you up from a nap.
"she paid me a visit, to put it politely."
"god" you fully sat up and straightened up, immediately waking up. "how bad was it?"
"i expected worse" luccy chuckled. "it was kinda hilarious, actually. i didn't want to let her in but she, of course, made her way inside anyway. she quickly realised it's too late."
"but she didn't..." you paused, thinking of all the possibilities. your girlfriend, now ex, was capable of a lot of crazy things. "...uh— hurt you or anything?"
"oh, she was mad" luccy laughed again. "but no, she didn't do anything. i'd say we're safe, for now."
: ̗̀➛ you hummed. your plan wasn't too brilliant, but you did everything you could to not leave any clues. she won't find you, you knew she won't. and eventually, she'll completely give up and stop trying. maybe she'll even move on and find someone else? maybe even a healthy relationship?
let's hope so.
#reqs open#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie tlou#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x you#ellie x y/n#wlw smut#tlou ellie#dark ellie#toxic ellie#ellie x fem reader#ellie#toxic!ellie williams x reader#toxic!ellie x reader#toxic!ellie#toxic!ellie williams#toxic relationship#toxic love
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REWIND — p. sunghoon
PAIRING sunghoon x gnr
DESC. break ups were never easy, especially with your first love. after some time, moving on became easier.
GENRE angst, is this considered hurt no comfort??
WARNING break up, moving on
W. COUNT 0.6k
S. NOTES i love angst so much
FOR. 1/2 jangkku ( @okwonyo ) celestial ballet event!
— rewind by twice
i don't want to know how you're doing.
it's so strange how someone i used to care so much about became a stranger to me so suddenly. the days i spent worrying if you had eaten, if you had gotten enough rest, if you were taking care of yourself in between your training.
now, i'm not curious about you.
as irresistible as it was back then to search your name, and catch up to what you're up to, now i don't care enough to even think about you anymore.
i couldn't help but hate you back then. you took away me who was so beautiful, the one who used to love with her whole heart. the one whose heart couldn’t tell the difference between love and you.
loving you felt so easy that even the thought of losing you back then would feel as if my heart was ripped out of my chest and thrown against the wall like it meant nothing.
so why was our breakup so easy for you?
after everything i did for you, why did it seem so simple to leave me behind like that? the one who went to all of your skating events and even your training? the one who supported your decision to become an idol long before anyone did. did my sleepless nights reassuring you amount to something that meant nothing to you?
did the times id leave anything and anyone behind just for you amount to nothing in the end?
our relationship wasn't as beautiful as the movies, but it was perfect to me. it might've been the ordinary love that every couple experienced but it was different because it was ours.
did i not even deserve the truth that you were joining some survival show to debut, after telling me every little secret about yourself was achieving your dream so precious you couldn't even think to share it with me?
back then i'd tell myself that it was your agency that caused our separation, but then i remember how empty your eyes looked when you told me it was over. no explanation, only to see your face plastered on a tv screen a week later.
i hoped you were maybe going through what i was going through. barely eating as the taste of my tears on my tongue seemed to fill my appetite, the salty taste becoming so familiar i almost forgot what it tasted like without it.
but you seemed so happy. laughing with all the others, singing and dancing without a care in the world as if i never existed. like you beginning was in the building and not with me.
funnily enough, i do thank you in some way. your indifference snapped me out of my love haze and turned my sadness into anger.
why did you get to be happy? what about my dreams?
so i found friends that loved me, i even started seeing someone briefly.
got into my dream university, studying what i love.
and i partially thank you for it.
i'll continue to create new memories and experience things i deprived myself of in the name of loving you until you completely fade away.
keep you in the past and make sure you never touch my present.
prove to the younger me who was so full of love that my world didn't revolve around you, that my life continued and will continue without you. that i know a love that isn’t tainted with your name. that one day if the information that you were struggling found me, i'd be able to sleep comfortably knowing you are not mine to worry about anymore.
park sunghoon. even if i could rewind time and try to make you love me longer, the much more beautiful me now has no interest in you anymore.
you may have had my love once before, but you will never get it again.
you will never take away my beauty ever again.
perm taglist @mesopret @whoschr @haknom @shinsou-rii @redm4ri @lacimolela @llama-lyna @boyfhees @lazysmushi @flwoie @kocokookie @kyexvly @seongclb @dammit-jjk @flwrshee @produmads @teddywonss @aleiouvre @dneltrise @aleiouvre @nyxvrse @yohanabanana @whois-alexis @tinyegg @sserafimez @satsuri3su @yuemvi @chirokookie @idk-tbh777 @s00buwu @ynsvnte @isawritesss @sleepyxxhead @ramenoil @jaeyunluvr @wifeherupnow @2jisungs
#saints works ( madewithlove. )#okwonyo’s 🩰 ( 천상의 발레 )#i wrote this instead of my essay#hopefully it’s not ass#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon drabbles#sunghoon angst#sunghoon au#sunghoon fluff#sunghoon scenarios#sunghoon reactions#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon oneshots#sunghoon fanfiction#sunghoon ff#sunghoon fic#sunghoon fanfic#park sunghoon#enhypen x reader#enhypen fic#enhypen ff#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen fanfic#enhypen fluff#enhypen reactions#enhypen imagine#enhypen oneshots#enhypen angst#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios
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the video you guys... maybe it's bc it's the middle of the night but i'm losing it
i've said this before and i'll say it again, i think käärijä is pretty much the most interesting thing that has happened in finnish music in a long long time. but that is of course a matter of opinion
what is not a matter of opinion is that in the last almost two years now, he has been the most famous person this country has ever seen. like idk how clear it is to international fans, but it's not normal in finland for a musical artist to have their own personal bodyguard go with them everywhere. he's talked about it yes, but like.. there is like a bend in reality around him in this country that you can only really comprehend when you stop to look at it.
and i've wondered two things. i've wondered if he knows how much he has done for people in this country. i've talked to people in their fucken 50s who have found the confidence to speak english in public because of him. i've seen the absolutely all encompassing effect he has had on the city of vantaa. ccc in esc truly united this country right after an election that tore us apart.
like.. we laugh about how finnish people care so much about what other people think about us. and all these stereotypes us finnish people believe as being the way we are seen. quiet, stoic, a bit unemotional, hard to read, depressed, weird with a quirky language no-one understands. imagine the impact of him showing the world a completely different side to us, that we all still recognise as OUR culture and something inherently finnish. him becoming so loved all around the world and in this country, not despite but because of things we have been culturally taught to be ashamed of. things he refused to be ashamed of, and he showed us. he has done SO MUCH for all of us, and i wonder if he knows.
and i've wondered how he has managed to keep it together through everything. like i said, there is no-one, absolutely no-one, who has had that level of attention in this country. and i wonder how has he stayed sane.
and the song and the video kinda answer these questions and it's as beautiful as it is heartbreaking. absolutely fucking killed me. so many things in that song i can relate to on a very personal level as well, but his story lives on a scale i could never even dream of. and so now i know. i know he knows but how he still can't feel it. and i know if he has stayed sane and he hasn't and i know how he's felt and. it. is. heartbreaking.
but at the same time i have to say how much i admire his decision to put it all in this song and make this song the lead single of the album. he continues to show us and i have so much not only love but fucking respect for him for that. fuck.
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Can I request a yandere Garnet (SU) concept? Thank you
Kept it mostly platonic as I just view her like that. I'll take feedback on this as she is... surprisingly hard to yandere properly.
Yandere! Garnet Concept
(Ruby + Sapphire)
Pairing: Platonic/Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Controlling behavior, Jealousy, Manipulation, Violence implied, Isolation, Dubious companionship/relationship.
Considering the nature of Garnet already being a relationship, I feel she'd be more platonic to her obsession.
Not only that, but she'd be so stern and protective too.
Garnet isn't always emotive, although some aspects of Ruby and Sapphire show through separately at times.
She tries to think rationally like Sapphire, but sometimes loses her cool like Ruby.
Most of the time Garnet is calm with her obsession.
You could throw a fit at her and she'll take it... only to scold you later.
As long as you don't try to hit her, she can tolerate your outbursts.
The only time I can see Garnet as romantic is a very rare case where she likes another Gem.
In that case she'd want to try fusion with them if it meant she could keep you with her.
She'd wait until you're ready, however.
But let's be honest, based on what we've seen in the show, she isn't interested in that with many.
She'd be more likely to protect you platonically because she sees you as family or a close friend.
Garnet is an unnerving yandere as you can't read her all the time.
She's deadpan towards most around you... including you at times.
There's times you'll want to hang out with others, like friends or maybe a partner of your own, only for Garnet to step in with an unreadable expression just to say one thing.
"No."
That's it, nothing else.
She's really good at shutting down things she doesn't want you doing.
There's times you're allowed to be with other people, she wants you to have some other bonds.
But she doesn't want you to ignore her completely.
I have a feeling you can't really argue with her, either.
She'd want her obsession to respect her and her decisions.
Essentially, you listen to her or she makes you if she feels it's for the best.
She's the type of yandere who would "mom" her darling.
She's usually level-headed so most of what you do won't break her composure.
She isn't always stern and stoic, though.
Sometimes she's genuinely caring, wanting to let you know she does care for you.
That she loves you.
She does what she does because she wants to cherish the bond you have with her.
After all, Garnet knows quite a bit about bonds.
Most of her obsession is this protective guardian role.
She tries to be very understanding with her obsession.
Due to the nature of Garnet viewing relationships as sacred, she wouldn't want to rush anything with her obsession.
Doing so would lose your trust.
She is fine with acting like a guardian to you, as a Crystal Gem she's used to such a thing.
She may be protective and stern... but she would want her obsession to come to her when they were ready.
She knows getting you to love her by force will only hurt you both.
Ruby may be overly eager about having you accept them, but Sapphire is careful to keep them both calm.
If you're a Gem then they try to be even more patient... Unstable fusion will hurt you even more.
Garnet, out of most Gems, is one of the more patient yanderes.
Bonds take time to develop and locking you away certainly won't help.
Ruby is no doubt the half that feels the most jealousy when they see you interact so well with others.
Sapphire knows they shouldn't be jealous of you having other people you enjoy.
Sapphire knows you'll come to them at some point and see they care...
They just need patience.
Although... they do fear you'll never come to them...
I can see Ruby and Sapphire splitting because of their differing beliefs throwing them out of sync.
They have different obsession types, which means if they get impatient... they can't be Garnet.
Ruby's scared you'll never love them the same way they do you.
Ruby wants to show you how much they care, to the point she may be too reckless and scare you off.
Meanwhile Sapphire fully believes in waiting.
She wants Ruby to calm down, to give you time.
You may be confused when you see the two out of fusion, concerned even.
Completely unaware that you are the reason they're having a fight.
Eventually the two may make up, both loving you and wanting you happy.
Sapphire has to calm Ruby's jealousy... but soon they'll be Garnet again, ready to give it another shot... hopefully.
Garnet would stick by you regardless of how you feel.
It's really hard for me to view her as toxic as Garnet herself is a pretty healthy relationship in my eyes.
She believes in love being comfortable for both parties and would wait years for you.
Even when she's impatient or jealous, she can usually calm herself down.
She's been around for years as Garnet, she'd wait as long as she had to in order to gain the affection of her obsession.
When you finally think you can be there for her, Garnet would welcome you with open arms.
Her most toxic traits are a subtle jealousy towards others along with being overprotective.
Anything more toxic causes Ruby and Sapphire to split until something resolves the issue.
I am struggling to make her toxic while being in character....
She'd do just about anything if it meant you'd be protected.
Protecting you is her way of loving you.
Her obsession could hate her and she'd probably still try to be encouraging with them.
Garnet may be intimidating... but she's actually one of the better yanderes in my eyes.
She mellows out both Ruby and Sapphire's traits which makes her pleasant to be around.
She seems controlling and overbearing, but genuinely cares for your feelings.
She'll let you take your time.
If you aren't hers in the end, then she'll maybe nudge you in the right direction.
If you're a Gem, she may offer fusion to show she cares for you... that she wants to include you.
If you're human, she protects you in whatever way she can.
She'd do anything to have you happy and protected.
Even breaking her composure if she sees you get hurt.
Garnet can be ruthless when protecting those she cares about.
Imagine if you see her shatter a Gem to protect you... or maybe have blood on her gauntlets.
She sees her overprotective tendencies as caring for you.
You may be scared of her, or maybe even hate her, but she's willing to wait...
If you're in danger, she'll isolate you with the rest of the Crystal Gems.
Even if you aren't in danger, she may still isolate you to prevent any potential danger.
She'll still give you your space, She'll even say she loves you... but you can't go out on your own.
She feels bad that you aren't happy all the time with her... If at all...
She hopes it will change... but...
As long as she has you in the end... and you're safe...
Then she'll accept loving you from afar... until she can't take it anymore, that is.
#yandere steven universe#yandere steven universe x reader#yandere garnet#yandere ruby#yandere sapphire
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If you're up to do a request I got an angsty one. Feel free to pass this with of you're not comfortable;
Swapfell Papyrus and Sans (separately) are in a really solid relationship with s/o. Everything was going great until one day s/o announced they were pregnant!
The skeletons did not believe them, since well s/o is human, and believed they cheated. S/o tried so hard to convince them the baby is theirs but was unsuccessful. Sans and Papyrus left them, heartbroken.
Months later after the relationship is over, Sans and Papyrus randomly came across S/O whom is now sporting a babybones in their arms. Oops turns out S/O was telling the truth and somehow survived the pregnancy!
I love this. And I love you traveler for gracing me with this idea ;)
Featuring: Sans, Cash.
Masterlist
Sans
By all scientific means this couldn't be possible, you two were different almost completely different rares, and by what he remembered of the old studies of his years of being a scientist, monsters and humans could not breed..
He didn't want to believe it, have you been cheating on him all this time? Were all of your love words fake?
He wasn't mad, he was disappointed, he always thought you deserved better than a pack of bones like him anyways..
He didn't make a scene out of it, simply grabbed his things and moved out. That was it.
He still loved you, dearly, but he couldn't be with someone who cheated on him.
Imagine his surprise when he accidentally bumped into you almost a year later, his sockets going black when he sees you holding a babybones almost identical to him.
You just murmured "excuse me.." and walked away. He stares at seemingly nothing, rethinking his decisions.
Sans goes to Toriel for advice, he needs her words right now.
Lather that day, your phone lit up with a message from Sans, "Can we talk please?".
He understands if you didn't respond, but is happy when you send a "sure. My house?" back.
It doesn't take long for you to hear a knock on the door.
When you open, you see Sans with a bruise on his cheek caused by Undyne.
"So..."
"I'm.. sorry (_____). I-i shouldn't have acted the way I did based on my old studies. I understand if you don't want our relationship to be back, especially after what I did... But.. I'll be here if you ever consider it.."
It's your choice now traveler, will you accept him back?
Cash
Wants to believe in you, but can't. Even after you and his brother saying it's his baby, he just can't.
He was a royal scientist for.. maybe a year? He doesn't remember correctly, but the time he was there he saw some.. "studies" being done in humans, and with his own sockets he believed humans and monsters breeding was impossible.
And knowing himself, he wouldn't really blame you for cheating on a dirty, greedy monster like him.
Yet he still felt betrayed, he placed his trust in you, told you about things he swore never to dig up again, and you repay him by cheating!?
People who passed by him could never imagine he'd spend his nights crying on his mattress while holding things that you gave him.
Even after bumping into you, seeing his own skeleton child in your arms, his ego is way too big to admit he fucked up.
But shit, there's no other skeleton Monsters on the underground and that kid looks just like he did when younger. Fuck.
His first instinct is to go to his brother.
"Berry I fucked up!"
"You Saw (_____)'s Kid Didn't You?"
Berry still stayed in contact with you, pretty secretly but he did, no way in hell he'd miss his nephew/niece growing!
Of course that made it easier for him to help his baby sibling, telling him to go buy your favorite flowers and candy. Oh and some diapers as well just in case.
You're surprised when seeing a pretty well dressed Cash holding flowers and chocolate at your front door, it's not really a sight you'd see every day.
He takes a deep breath, pushing his ego behind and finally apologizing after months.
"So... I just wanted to say I'm sorry I thought ya cheated months ago... I brought your favorites to recompensate you..?"
It took him a lot of effort to let this simple phrase out, please just tell him if you still want him again or not..
#undertale au#undertale#sans au#sans x reader#sans undertale#sans#papyrus#papyrus x reader#papyrus au#swapfell#swapfell papyrus#swapfell papyrus x reader#swapfell purple#swapfell sans#x reader#utmv#utmv au
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What are friends for?
Note:
This is my first ever post, so please be kind! I've been working on this piece for a few days, and there will be more parts to come, but it may take some time to complete. The story will also include text messages between you and your friends (SMAU). I'll do my best to maintain a good length for the story, but there may be some shorter parts. Also, I'm new to this, so there may be a few errors, but I hope you enjoy the story! :)
Status: ongoing!!
Updates: Whenever I can, no set date.
WC: 2756
Description: Characters are aged up. Y/N's stuck in a toxic relationship with her controlling boyfriend, feeling lost and doubting herself. Now, she's facing a crucial choice: stay put or find the courage to break free and reclaim her independence. Pairing: megumi fushiguro x FEM!reader
Genre/Warnings: [18+] This story contains toxic boyfriend, cursing, name calling, self-doubt/hate, angst, breaking up, post-breakup, alcohol, drunk moments, new friends, dating!au, college!au, no curses!au, dark humour, dark jokes. SMAU.
Your friends have been telling you to leave your boyfriend for months now. They warned you about him, about his manipulative, controlling, and narcissistic nature, which contributes to his toxicity. They keep pointing out his flaws – how he always wants. No. NEEDS to tag along wherever you go, how he tries to control what you wear and who you hang out with. And don't even get started on the name-calling and arguments that seem to happen like every single day. But despite all their warnings, you find yourself wondering if maybe it's just his way of showing he cares… it was all out of love wasn’t it? If he didn’t care about you he wouldn’t act the way he does…
Right…?
You're constantly caught in a loophole of conflicting feelings. On one hand, you can't help but notice the red flags they've been waving in your face. But on the other hand, there's a part of you that wants to believe there's genuine love behind his actions. He loves you?
Right…?
Still, you can't help but question: does all this make him a "bad boyfriend"? Sure, he's not physically abusive, but his mood swings leave you feeling like you're walking on eggshells. As you grapple with these thoughts, you can't help but wonder where to draw the line between love and toxicity.
"Y/N!"
You snapped back to reality as Maki's voice cut through your thoughts, finding yourself now parked in front of Yuta's house, a 15-minute drive from your own.
"Are you okay? You've been lost in thought the entire car ride here," Maki asked, a mix of concern and confusion evident in her tone.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I was just thinking about the exams coming up," you replied with a forced smile, though it didn't seem to convince her entirely. Luckily for you, she didn't question further.
You made sure to silence your phone before heading out, knowing the argument that would likely occur with your boyfriend over your plans with friends. It wasn't news to you that he disapproved of your friendship with Yuta and Inukami, despite having plenty of female friends himself. Hypocritical isn't it. But today, you decided to take a stand. You were tired of the never-ending arguments and his controlling behaviour. It felt like you couldn't say or do anything without setting him off, and honestly, you were fed up with it.
You felt it was the right decision, even if it meant facing another argument later. You were determined to spend the day enjoying yourself with your friends, and if that meant upsetting him, then you were willing to deal with the consequences. After all, arguments had become a daily occurrence between you two, so what harm would one more do?
You didn’t quite know where this newfound confidence had come from. Normally, the thought of upsetting him would send shivers down your spine, making you hesitant to go against his wishes. But today was different. You were reaching a breaking point, tired of his behaviour and the constant strain it put on you. Mentally, you were drained. Ever since getting together with him, you'd been affected with a sense of unhappiness, a feeling that even your friends had picked up on. All they wanted was to see you happy again, but it felt like an impossible challenge to break free from his control and spend time with them. He dictated every aspect of your life, and you were beginning to realize just how suffocating it had become.
He felt like a never-ending storm cloud, hovering over you wherever you went, casting a shadow of negativity that left you feeling drained and miserable. It was as if his presence drained your strength, both physically and mentally, until you were left feeling defeated. You knew deep down that the only way to find a “cure” was to get rid of him, but it was far from simple. If it were that easy, you would've done it long ago, at the first signs of trouble.
Believe it or not, he wasn't always like this. That's why you were drawn to him in the first place. But as time passed, things only seemed to deteriorate. A part of you held onto hope that he would revert to the person he once was—caring, supportive, and loving. Yet, as months turned into nearly a year, nothing changed. If anything, it only seemed to worsen.
Why? Why did he change? Was it something you did? Was it your fault? Did you somehow fall short? He always made you question your self worth. He made you believe that this was what you deserved—that you deserved to be hurt, to be broken. He convinced you that you weren't worthy of more.
You and Maki entered Yuta's house, using the spare key you both had. It was a common practice among your close group of friends; you all had keys to each other's homes. After all, you practically grew up together, so there was nothing unusual about dropping by unannounced.
Inumaki and Yuta greeted you warmly as you entered the living room, where they were too focused on a video game. As the hours passed, laughter filled the room, followed by playful teasing and occasional cussing at each other due to the intense gaming moments. You all talked about life, ate your favourite meals, and for the first time in a while, you felt a sense of happiness return. It was as if you were reconnecting with the positive, joyful version of yourself that had been buried beneath the weight of recent struggles.
"I'll be right back! Just need to use the bathroom," you announce before grabbing your phone and heading off.
"Do you want us to pause the movie?" Yuta offers, showing his consideration for your absence.
"No, it's okay! Keep watching, I'll be quick," you assure them with a laugh as you slip away.
Time flew by, and before you knew it, it was almost 9pm. Your peaceful day took an abrupt turn when you saw multiple missed phone calls from no other, your loser of a boyfriend.
**5 MISSED PHONE CALLS AND MESSAGES BETWEEN Y/N & BF**
Luckily, Maki, Inukami, and Yuta were too engaged in the movie to notice your lengthened absence. However, tears welled up in your eyes as you read the messages, feeling the weight of self-doubt creeping in once again.
"I’m just a bitch. That’s all I am. I'm nobody," you muttered to yourself, your eyes red as you struggled to contain your emotions. You couldn't afford to show weakness in front of your friends. This shouldn't affect you, you reminded yourself. You knew this was coming, so why did it hurt so much?
Knock Knock
A knock on the bathroom door interrupted your thoughts. "Hey, Y/N. You okay in there?" Maki's concerned voice broke through your internal chaos.
Fuck.
Of course, Maki sensed something was wrong. She had picked up on it the moment she picked you up. She wasn't one to pry, though. She respected your privacy, and if you didn't bring up the issues first, she wouldn't force them out of you. That's why you cherished her friendship so much—she was the best friend anyone could ask for.
You wanted to tell her, you really did, but you knew all too well what her response would be, and frankly, you didn't want to hear it—not today. All you wanted was to be with your friends, to immerse yourself in their company and forget about your troubles, if only for a little while. You didn't want them worrying about you or your mental state. So you took a deep breath and plastered on a smile, hiding all the negativity like you always did.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I was just on the phone with my mom," you said, forcing a smile as you opened the bathroom door, only to be met with Maki's skeptical expression. Her raised eyebrow spoke volumes, questioning your excuse without saying a word. But she didn't press further. Instead, she offered a soft smile and placed a comforting hand on your back.
"You're missing the movie. We decided to pause it when you didn't return after five minutes. Come on, let's go," she said gently, leading you back to the living room.
You both made your way downstairs and settled back onto the couch, resuming the movie with the others. After a few minutes, Yuta stood up from his spot and took a seat beside you, leaning in closer to whisper in your ear so only you could hear him.
"Hey, I know you haven't been feeling your best lately, and I understand why... But I want you to know that you can always talk to me. To us. We're here for you, no matter what." he whispered, his words causing your heart to stop for a moment. A soft smile spread across your lips as he leaned back, his eyes meeting yours with warmth.
"Thank you," you replied softly, leaning your head against his shoulder as the movie continued. Resting on each other like this was a familiar gesture among your group—it was something you all did since childhood, a sign of trust and comfort. So when you leaned on Yuta's shoulder, it wasn't a romantic gesture—it was more like seeking comfort from an older brother figure. Your friends have always been there for you, caring and supportive, much like older siblings would be.
Finally the movie finished, with the time now showing 11:16pm—it’s very late, thank god you guys had no classes scheduled for the next two days.
"It's getting late, Y/N. Are you ready to head back?" Maki asked, her expression soft with concern.
Before you could answer, Inukami jumped in with a hopeful tone, asking if you guys could stay a bit longer. You could tell he was really loving the reunion, bringing back memories of all the fun times your group had shared in the past… just like before you got into a relationship.
"Yeah, come on, Maki and Y/N! We haven't had this much fun in a while. It feels good for the group to get back together again," Yuta chimed in, his gaze shifting between Maki and you. The collective attention turned to you, though you knew it wasn't intentional—they subconsciously understood that the decision rested with you, or rather, with your boyfriend's expectations.
Even though it was late, the idea of going home to an empty house, knowing your boyfriend would be out, doing who knows what, filled you with dread. You knew it would only trigger more overthinking and anxiety so with a reassuring smile, you decided against it. Tonight, you didn't feel like going home, and that was perfectly okay.
"Fuck it," you thought, smiling back at them.
"Why don't we have a sleepover?" You ask, breaking the silence. Their eyes widen in shock, the suggestion catches everyone off guard. It's been a while since the last sleepover, back before you started dating your controlling boyfriend. They've tried to organize some since then, but you always declined, due to your boyfriend's disapproval.
Of course. Typical.
Their initial shock quickly turns into smiles and nods as they exchange glances before turning back to you.
"Let's do it!" Maki says with excitement.
All of them cheered in excitement, and the lively conversation continued throughout the night until exhaustion finally led to all of you drifting off to sleep on Yuta's spacious and comfortable couch. Despite the cozy setup, you found it hard to sleep as your mind continued to race, clouded by thoughts of him once again. Unable to find peace, you quietly slipped outside to the backyard, just to get some air.
Yuta awoke shortly afterward, noticing your absence. He got up from the couch, careful not to disturb Maki and Inumaki and began searching the house, half expecting to find you sleeping in his room. But you weren't there. He started to slightly panic as he considered the possibility of you leaving without informing anyone. How did you get home? Was something wrong? Why would you leave without saying anything?
As his mind rushed with worry, Yuta made his way to the backyard door and spotted you sitting on the stairs. Leaning against the door frame for a moment, he gathered his thoughts before joining you outside, silently taking a seat beside you.
"Hey," Yuta says as he settles beside you.
You jump at the sudden sound, caught off guard by his unexpected presence. "Omg, Yuta," you playfully shove his shoulder, "don't sneak up on me like that."
"Sorry," he chuckles softly, "didn't mean to scare you."
"What are you doing out here this late?" he questions.
"Couldn't fall asleep so I decided to get some air."
"Something on your mind?" He asks with concern.
I smile at him. "No."
"Come on, Y/N. I've known you for years; you think I can't tell when something's on your mind..."
You both sit there in silence for a moment before he speaks up again.
"Is it—"
"Mhm. But I don't want to talk about him. I'm here with you guys today, and that's what's important. Not him," you state, trying to change the conversation away from your boyfriend.
Yuta gives you a reassuring smile and nods, but then an awkward silence settles between you. It's unusual; conversations with your friends usually flow effortlessly, so why does it feel so difficult now?
After a moment, you decide to break the silence.
"Yuta..." you begin hesitantly.
He meets your gaze with a soft look. "Yeah?"
"I'm thinking about breaking up with him, you know," you confess.
Yuta's eyes widened in shock, a spark of excitement shining in him. As your best friend, he genuinely cares about your well-being and wants what's best for you. They all do, and they know that leaving your boyfriend will bring out the best in you, bring back the real you.
"Really?! How come... I mean, I already know why, but I'm just curious after all the times we've mentioned it to you, you never really pa—"
"Yuta," you interject, giggling at his enthusiasm.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking, and being here with you guys today reminded me of the times we used to have together before him and I got together. And honestly... I haven't felt happier and more relaxed in a long time until now. It's like when I'm with you guys, I'm constantly smiling, laughing, talking, and I never feel judged. But with him, I feel so... miserable. I don't even remember the last time he and I actually talked and had a laugh together. It's always arguments, and he's the one who always starts them over nothing."
Yuta places a comforting hand on your shoulder and gently wipes away the tears on your face. You hadn't realized you were crying. You tried your hardest not to cry for months, but while telling Yuta how you felt, you couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Shhh... it's okay, Y/N. I'm glad you feel like yourself when you're with us. You deserve so much better than that jerk," he reassures you, his words bringing a sense of comfort.
He never fails to make you laugh.
"Thanks, Yuta," you say gratefully.
"Hey, what are you guys doing outside?" Maki and Inumaki mumble sleepily as they stand at the door.
Yuta grins mischievously and glances over at them. "What's with that ugly grin?" Maki jokes, prompting laughter from everyone.
"MAKI!" you all shout in unison, teasing her.
Yuta can't contain his excitement any longer. "Y/N is planning on breaking up with her boyfriend!" he blurts out.
If Maki and Inumaki thought they were awake before, they're definitely wide awake now. They exchange shocked glances between you and Yuta, repeating the gesture several times. You can't help but smile; despite the gravity of the situation, you feel a sense of pride. Proud that you've finally gained the courage to do something you've been wanting to do for months.
"You're not messing with us, right? Because I swear to god Y/N, if I find out yo—" Maki begins, her voice tinged with concern.
You cut her off before she can finish her sentence. "I swear I'm not messing with you guys. I'm going to do it tomorrow night."
Yipeee!! Go Y/N!!! finally we've all been waiting for this moment.
im currently working on the next part so please be patient!
Also, thank you so much for reading!
#fushiguro megumi x reader#smau#jjk smau#jjk#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#megumi fushiguro#megumi smau#jjk fluff#megumi fluff#fluff#angst#jjk angst#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smau#jujutsu kaisen megumi
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