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lightwise · 2 years ago

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Masterlist

Hey there, friend 🌻 You can call me Light or Lightwise ✨ This is my little corner of Tumblr mostly dedicated to Star Wars (especially the Bad Batch, clone boys, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan). I am a photographer and writer in my early thirties who spent her childhood telling stories to herself while riding her bike in circles around her driveway. Little did I know at the time that would be considered fan fiction and that however many years later I would find myself nerding out in the Star Wars fandom and loving every second of it ✨

I write a lot of in-depth analyses and musings, which are tagged with #somelightramblings (for a touch of irony, because they are usually anything but light or short :D).

My image edits are tagged with #somelightedits

My fics/writings are tagged with #lightwisewrites

My fic recommendations are tagged with #somelightreading

I currently do not take fic requests but you can find my writing (a mix of one-shots and long-form WIPs) on here as well as on AO3.

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🤗 and feel free to use my edits for headers or PFPs with credit!

This blog contains both SFW and NSFW content, so minors DNI, 18+ only please and thank you 👀

moon dividers by @djarrex 🩷

Btw, I talk mainly about Star Wars with an emphasis on my favorite Bad Batch Boys, but I love many other fandoms/shows/books as well and welcome any conversations/sliding into my DMs to discuss them or other random (SFW) topics!

Key: 🤔 = long analysis 📷 = image edits (alone or within analysis posts) 🫣 = Potentially disturbing or triggering content (mental health, implied violence or dying, etc.) 🔥 = NSFW/spicy content

My Fics

🫣 Plan 99 - Short one-shot fic from Tech's perspective. I wanted to show the thoughts that must have been running through his mind as he fell. The love he has for his family. The peace he has in his decision. (from the season finale of TBB season 2)

Tumblr link | AO3 link

Be There - I had to fill in a couple of moments that we didn’t get in S3 E4 - A Different Approach. Hunter and Crosshair's perspectives on trying to find/escaping with Omega and their impending reunion.

Tumblr link | AO3 link

🔥 The Sun Also Burns - Jod managed to escape the Supervisor’s tower, his choices and life path now open before him. But he can’t escape his past, his demons–or an unexpected reunion. Will he finally grasp onto the pinpricks of light trying to break through his darkness? Or will he make another trip around the void he’s been circling before he’s willing to change his ways?

Tumblr link | AO3 link

Coming soon:

Compass and the North Star - long-form fill in the gaps of TBB season 2, focused on Rex and Echo's efforts to free their clone brothers.

This Is It for Me - Hunter helps out a friend and finally reveals his feelings for her while camping overnight.

Obi-Wan Goes House Hunting

Bound Together by Lawlessness - Obi-Wan and Bo-Katan

Collaborations:

🔥 Sharp Edges - (with @spicy-clones) (ALL of the spiciness, minors do NOT read!)

Tumblr link | AO3 link

Coming soon: Pabu Wedding (with @drafthorsemath)

Inspired by other fics:

The Adventures of Gonky the Cat - Slight spoiler, Gonky is a cat in the modern AU fic Roasted, Brewed, & Served with Attitude (see description below), and I decided to write his backstory/fill in some of his adventures. This is a WIP, currently there are no spoilers in it, but eventually there will be some chapters that give spoilers for later in the story (and will be noted as such).

Gemini Eyes - This one shot fits in as a chapter in between chapters 85 and 87 of Roasted, Brewed, & Served with Attitude (see description below). DO NOT read it unless you have made it that far in Mel's work, otherwise you will have pretty significant spoilers. I had a lot of fun working with Mel's versions of each character, and it's always a joy to write Tech's thought processes and mannerisms.

Fic Recs

Roasted, Brewed, & Served with Attitude - by MelMorganne99 over on AO3. It's a clever, emotional, modern AU with Crosshair x OC (and one of the best OC characters I've ever read). This fic helped me understand and appreciate the nuances of Crosshair's personality and emotional journey, and has given me endless writing inspiration. And the author is one of the kindest, most engaging people I've ever met online. Please, please, please do yourself a favor and read it. There are 99 chapters but they're on the short side and full of snarky humor and sometimes surprising cameos. This is a full blown fix it fic too, although not always in the ways you might expect!

The Vacation - by @staycalmandhugaclone is one of the best Crosshair fics (and smut fics in general) I've ever read. The writing style haunts me and both Crosshair and the OC are beautifully characterized.

More will be tagged soon!

Show/Character Analyses & Edits

Star Wars

📷 Huyang and Tech

🤔 The Force - Part 1 and Part 2

🤔 + 📷 Project Necromancer

🤔 Comparing Acolyte vs. Skeleton Crew (each episode)

The Bad Batch

🤔 Know Your Showrunners

🤔 + 📷 Phee and the Bad Batch

🤔 + 📷 Why Mayday is a Mirror of Rex (How Crosshair Predicted His Own Redemption Arc) + an excellent comment addition.

🤔 + 📷 There is Something to be Said for Freedom (Crosshair in The Tipping Point)

🤔 + 📷 Fennec season 3 TBB Predictions

🤔 They Don't Know

🤔 + 📷 Project Necromancer

🤔 + 📷 Tech and Crosshair Parallels

📷 Hunter and Wrecker

📷 Omega Smiling at Crosshair

📷 Separate / Together

🤔 Thoughts on Crosshair's Hand Tremor

🤔 + 📷 Crosshair's Choice

🤔 There is No "We"

🤔 Crosshair Sighs

📷 Recognition

🤔 + 📷 Omega Is Not Okay

📷 Get Up Here

📷 Return to The Outpost - Images Part 1 | Part 2

🤔 + 📷 Full Circle - The Return to The Outpost

📷 Crosshair Portraits

🤔 + 📷 I Am Many Things But I Am Not Your Enemy (Ventress)

🤔 I Never Gave Up On You (Parallels between Luke and Omega)

🤔 + 📷 Hidden Monsters (TBB and the monsters they face)

🤔 + 📷 They Call Themselves The Bad Batch

🤔 + 📷 Remain Calm. Cooperate. And You Might Survive. (Analysis of Emerie Karr) + excellent comment addition

Ahsoka

📷 Life and Death (Ahsoka series ep 5 + Tales of the Jedi ep 1)

📷 They Reflect Each Other (Ahsoka and Anakin as master and padawan, Ahsoka series ep 5)

🫣 + 🤔 Ahsoka’s Choice (Ahsoka series ep 5)

🤔 The Face of War (Ahsoka series ep 5)

📷 Red and Blue (Ahsoka series ep 5)

📷 Anakin’s Clone Wars Robes (Ahsoka series ep 5)

Ahsoka’s Direction (Ahsoka series ep 5)

Mandalorian

The Protector (Satine, Bo, & Din as rulers of Mandalore) + excellent comment additions

Skeleton Crew

Captain Brutus vs. Captain Silvo

9 Lost Planets

Misc. Skeleton Crew Thoughts

Andor

Coming soon

Episode Reactions

Ahsoka Series: Episode 1 | Episode 2 | Episode 3 | Episode 4

The Bad Batch (Season 3): Episodes 1-3 | Episode 4 | Episode 6 | Episode 7

Headcanons

Hardcase

Wolffe

Crosshair

Tech

Cody

Jesse and Hunter

Random Musings

Psychometry (Ahsoka)

Hunter and Obi-Wan: Similarities

About Me/Tag Games

15 Questions

TBB Asks Game 1

TBB Asks Game 2

TBB Asks Game 3

TBB Asks Game 4

#lightwisemasterlist #lightwise masterlist #masterlist #my fics #fan fiction #headcanons #long analyses #analysis #somelightramblings #some light ramblings #some light edits #somelightedits #lightwise writes #lightwisewrites #somelightreading #some light reading

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mydetheturk · 2 years ago

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I posted 10,112 times in 2022

That's 5,808 more posts than 2021!

142 posts created (1%)

9,970 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@corellianflyboy

@spelviin

@ghostmisfits

@amemait

@citizen-zero

I tagged 7,145 of my posts in 2022

Only 29% of my posts had no tags

#this is not the queue you are looking for - 4,068 posts

#video - 831 posts

#pfft - 780 posts

#dc - 356 posts

#writing - 336 posts

#long post - 273 posts

#dracula - 267 posts

#dracula daily - 214 posts

#myde talks - 168 posts

#art - 167 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and my other main ttrpg character is just a half-orc cowgirl who got raised by dwarves; canonically shes a dwarf and thanks to the dm's wor

My Top Posts in 2022:

anyway have some space whales

The whales have a song; it is long and slow and old as time itself. The whalers add to the song with their ships, cresting in the starry wake. The whalers sing their whaling songs, punctuating the whales’ low cries. The whalers’ cries are more jubilant when they find the ambergris nestled in the star wake. The ambergris is passed around, each taking a tiny sliver before the composite is turned into fuel for the ship. These slivers will be crafted into jewelry, into directional nodes, into pieces that will become inherited by the whalers’ children.

It is not the ambergris that the whalers are after, though it is a nice side effect. Instead, the whalers are after the dust the whales stirred in their wakes. There was purity in the stardust, valuable to everyone, and only the whalers had been able to collect it without harming the whales.

40 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

As someone who's already read dracula and am rereading it through dracula daily, today's entry fills me with a sort of dread. Renfield's getting better, yes, and I know how someone who hasn't read dracula before would be cheered

But dracula is a horror novel. Renfield getting better is just a calm spot in the hurricane that is Dracula Himself coming to London. Biding his time before Dracula really strikes, and tips the scales once more.

64 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

“Hey, Guy.” Hal’s flipping through Justice League reports while floating in space with Guy. Oh boy. Never a fun sign.

“What, Hal?” Guy doesn’t wanna know. He doesn’t. Last time Hal asked questions while they were doing paperwork Guy scraped him off the bottom of the Marianas Trench.

“What’s gayer – being gay or whatever your friends Ted and Booster have going on?” Guy’s gonna kill Kyle, he fucking swears.

“Whatever’s going on between you and the Flash at any given moment,” Guy says. He bolts before the stunned look on Hal’s face twists into fury, laughing the whole time.

“Guy!”

67 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

I keep thinking about that The Devil Went Down To Georgia (and then went down on Johnny) fic and I just

I'm so enthralled. The words, the imagery, both Johnny and the Devil being taken with one another? Absolutely breathtaking, incredibly sublime, haunting my thoughts continuously forever

85 notes - Posted June 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So I'm reading today's entry for Dracula right? And the line, "At length, we saw a four wheeler drive up" has me cracking up. Because I know - I KNOW - it's some sort of carriage but all I can imagine is Arthur and Quincy on a modern ATV in their late victorian menswear. And it's the FUNNIEST mental image

114 notes - Posted October 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #OH jesus christ i blogged a fuckin bunch didnt i #listen of cours e my number one tag is my queue tag #are we SURPRISED #also hell yeah!#love my moots

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thatslikely · 4 years ago

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Seasons- G.W. Headcannons

dating George Weasley through the seasons

Warnings: mentions of food, but it's all fluff

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: just thought it would be fun! Let me know if you want this for any other characters!

George Taglist: @hufflepuff5972

if you want to be added to the taglist, reply to this post, send me an ask, or dm me!

I recommend listening to this playlist while reading for the best experience!

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Winter

On the first snowfall of the season, you two definitely built an adorable little snowman, complete with coal eyes (you probably stole Ron's scarf for his neck). You told George about the muggle story Frosty the Snowman, and he tried to find a spell to recreate Frosty.

The next day, you two gradually started amassing a large snowman army. Inevitably, in the middle of construction, George betrayed you with an icy snowball to your back.

Naturally, this incited a five day-long snowball war that increasingly got more and more intense. George was surprisingly good at building sturdy snow forts, so you never really stood a chance against his defences. He could have probably constructed a 7 foot tall barricade in a matter of minutes!

Even if you two are locked in battle, he'll always take time to admire the way the white snowflakes rest in your hair so beautifully, as well as the fiery determination behind your eyes.

Fiesty battles aside, George always made sure that you were warm and cozy after a long day in the cold, making homemade hot cocoa using Molly's famous recipe.

One day, long after the ‘Snow Skirmish’, you convince him to go ice skating with you; he absolutely fell in love with it. For a while, he had to hold onto your arms for balance, which led to a lot of falls considering he's a giant compared to you.

Eventually he got the hang of it and you taught him how to play muggle hockey, which he picked up quite quickly. He eventually got all the Weasleys hooked, and they held weekly tournaments. You were always George's favorite cheerleader.

If he ever became a little too cocky, he'd fall face-first onto the hard ice, which always brought a small smile to your face. He always laughed with you, too.

On snowless days, however, you two went on 'expeditions', which entailed peaceful walks through the woods, hand-knitted gloves intertwined.

You'd always keep your eyes peeled for birds or foxes, and occasionally he swore he saw a yeti. You were surprised he never got Fred to dress up in a yeti suit, at least not yet.

Spring

One word: picnics.

You spent the majority of springtime down at the Burrow, enjoying the pleasant spring weather. There were huge multicolored flower fields surrounding George's childhood home, making it even more fitting for the season.

Some days, he'd take you down to the creek past the Burrow, and the two of you would stand ankle-deep in the cool, flowing water. Sometimes, if he was feeling a bit mischievious, he’d splash you with some of the refreshing water, you quickly returning the favor.

Occasionally, he'd try to catch a little leaping frog, holding it carefully in his big palms. He was enchanted by the tiny creature, and without fail, he always begged you to let him keep it.

"But Terrance needs a home! We can make him a terrarium and everything! Please?"

Some days, he'd take you up to the Tree, which laid on a soft, grassy hill in the middle of a luscious yellow flower field. A single tire swing hung from its burly and ancient branches.

Often times, he'd sit at the base of the trunk, either dozing off or humming a song from his youth. If you chose to sit with him, however, he'd braid your hair perfectly and pick some colorful flowers to accent it.

"My little Angel, you look so pretty with flowers in your hair."

You'd always pick some petals for his ginger mop, too.

"Now we're matching, Georgie. Daffodils compliment your hair beautifully."

He loved to push you in the tire swing. He was far too big to fit in it now, to your dismay, but he was perfectly satisfied pushing you back and forth in it. It almost reminded him of rocking a baby cradle.

On rainy days, he'd fetch old rain boots from the attic. He'd always wear Bill's old pair, you wearing his'. The area around the small creek was all muddy, and you can't tell me he wouldn't make mud pies. Even if he's way too old for them.

"Darling, would you care for a pie?"

"And what does it taste like, exactly?"

"It's my signature flavor, mud!"

Summer

I firmly believe George is a good cook. He just is (see my chef!George fic for elabroation).

One sweltering day, you and him went out to the gardens and pick ripe, ruby-red strawberries to chop up and make into homemade strawberry ice cream.

His ice cream would surpass Fortescue's by a lot. Like it's scary. From then on, he made it every Saturday morning, even on chilly winter days.

Sometimes he'd turn adventurous and try some new flavors, which were normally pretty good, until he got a little too creative and made caramel watermelon ice cream. From then on, he stuck with the classics.

In the evenings, a small bonfire was lit and all the Weasleys spent the night drinking and dancing. Bill held a guitar concert, George and Arthur grilled up some hot dogs (which were juicy and delcious), Fred set off some fireworks, and Ginny held fiercely competitive broom races.

When everyone went inside, exhausted, you and George stayed outside, listening to the crickets chirping and admiring the clear, country sky. He pointed out his favorite constellations to you, reenacting the myths behind them with you as his co-actor (you can't tell me we wouldn't let you fake-stab him and he'd fall to the grass super dramatically).

Beach days: a must have.

George would definitely wear red/maroon swim trunks, and there would always be a white stripe of sunscreen on his freckled nose, even after he furiously rubbed it in.

He'd always love the bathing suit you sported, whether it was a gingham bikini or a gorgeous silver one piece. He loved you so much, you never felt self conscious around him.

He'd take you to a secret, tucked-away beach, and you two would spend the day building elaborate sand castles, burying you deep in the sand, and searching for pretty sea shells and sand dollars.

“Where do you think you’re going, Mister? You can’t just leave me buried under the san like this!”

“Someone’ll find you eventually. I just want all the icecream for myself, what can I say? Oh fine, I’ll dig you up, darling.”

Autumn

Autumn at the Burrow was like nothing else. There was always a seemingly endless supply of pumpkin juice and apple juice on tap, and traditions were ampted up to the max.

Pumpkin carving was taken very seriously, and you and George were no exceptions. You and him were never artsy per se, but you always tried your hardest together to crave an intricately designed pumpkin. It always turned out pretty decent, to your surprise.

George and Fred would constantly wear scary masks and hide around he Burrow, or plant fake spiders in the cupboards in hopes of scaring Ron. It always worked.

Since the weather was so nice and chilly, he'd always go around the woods with you collecting a pile of some good sticks for a tree fort. He always carried the branches, and you collected the prettiest orange leaves you could find, for a collage or scrapbook.

All fall, he worked on building a small, secluded tree fort, which was definitely worth it in the end. You two stayed up late into the night, telling ghost stories, kissing, or inviting the whole Weasley clan for a good old fashioned game of Truth or Dare.

As for Halloween, you guys already know he goes overboard. He decorated every inch of every wall with black and orange streamers, fake cobwebs, and little baby pumpkins. It was always really sweet; he'd always wear a proud grin after the whole house was adorned to his liking.

For costumes, I'm 99% sure that you two would always do pun-y couple costumes think him dressing up as a cereal box and you as a killer, or him as a ghost and you a pepper).

You two would also 100% go to a costume store, and buy as much cheap hair gel as you could, all so you two could make each spiky Mohawks (you'd never admit it to George, but he pulled them off).

One time, he let you take him to a muggle farm for the day. You decided it would be fun to do a corn maze. The both of you got lost for three hours. From then on, he just stuck with hay rides.

Spending time with George was always fun, year-round.

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moostaronce · 4 years ago

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Lock It Tightly

Request: I really like your writing's and I just started to follow you. I also love the loona scenario with the 13th member hyunjin and hyejoo almost fighting jimin for yerim. So I was wondering If can you do a dreamcatcher scenario similar to that but can you change yerim's place into the reader/8th member of dc, well if that make's sense 🤕😆. Also feel free to ignore this if it feel's weird. Thank you.😀

Pairing: OT7 x 8th member Fem Reader

WARNING: Sexual Harassment, Blackmail

A/N Thanks for the request! You weren’t specific about a pairing so I just made it ot7 and platonic. I also made the reader my age to make things a little easier for me so 99 line maknae it is. Hope you like it.

You were a late addition. You didn’t join the group until What Era but you were important to the girls and the lore to the nightmare series. Even after it ended Insomnias remained in love with you and how the girls loved you too. Not everyone was so kind to you though, there were antis, of course, there always were.

You often found yourself in this weird limbo where you didn’t understand how you fit in or if you fit in at all. But as their member and their maknae, you were the apple of their eyes. You and Gahyeon were friends before she debuted so she was ecstatic to have her favorite classmate joining her group. She and Handong especially took you under their wings since they knew what it was like to be a little late to the party.

Even though you're talented and deserving of your spot, not everyone was so kind. Sometimes though, they were too kind. It wasn't common knowledge that you had an interest in women for anyone but you're members, so you often got confessions from male idols. The attention never bothered you because all you usually had to do was bow and politely decline. Then, Lee Jonghyun came into the picture. He first started contacting you when he was still a CNBLUE member. Each time with the intention to take you out but you always politely declined. Then you started noticing the little whispers of gossip going around at music shows and events.

Jonghyun had been telling people that the two of you hooked up on the regular and that he had taken your virginity. That wasn't the case because first off you weren't a virgin and second of all you had never even spoken more than 3 words to the man in person. At first, you chose to just ignore it until the whispers found your members. Gahyeon was the first to approach you about it, as your closest friend it made sense to the girls that she be the one to ask you about it.

"Y/N-ah. Don't be upset but the unnies and I were just wondering if you've been seeing Lee Jonghyun. We heard some things and it can't be true right? You'd tell us something like that."

"No! What exactly did you hear because we've barely even met."

"We just heard a bunch of other idols are talking about it. They're saying that you two are like friends with benefits."

Your heart sank in your stomach and you felt a bit sick. How could he go around telling people that? You've clearly and cleanly turned him down on every occasion. Why would he tell people that you're sleeping together of all things? With nothing else to do but confirm to your best friend that nothing was going on between you and hope the rumors blow over. However, the next day only brought more anxiety as Lee Jonghyun had sent you a DM that sent chills down your spine. He demanded to see you and "discuss" what about him you weren't interested in. You didn't respond but he could see that you had seen it and left him hanging, and this only seemed to fuel his fire

A while later CNBLUE and Dreamcatcher were performing at the same event and you looked more nervous than your members had ever seen you. They didn't know that Jonghyun had been harassing you practically every other day like clockwork. You no longer responded to him but even that didn't seem to deter him at all. So you kept quiet. You didn't tell anyone especially not your members, but they knew you well enough to know when something wasn't right with you.

Each member kept an eye on you to make sure you were alright but when they catch him cornering you at the event Siyeon's switch is the first to flip. She marches up to you the moment his hand is placed on your hip and she sees you physically flinch.

"Excuse me, what exactly is going on here?" Jiu speaks up first once they approach you.

"Nothing that concerns you. We're just talking, I'll walk her back to your waiting room when we finish up here." Jonghyun hardly even looks at the girls before turning back to you. You were pretty much cowering in front of him and trapped but your members didn't just walk over to check to see if you were alright. You were coming out of this with them one way or another.

"That's not really your choice buddy. We're taking our maknae to practice so if you'll excuse us."

Sua reaches out and grabs your hand but Jonghyun pushes her back roughly and before you know it Siyeon punches him straight across the face with no hesitation. All the girls stare with jaws dropped as she pulls you behind her and stands over him while he holds his probably broken nose.

"Put your hands on any of us again. I dare you, you creep." He just looks up at her in pure shock. His hand comes down from his nose to inspect the damage, only to find that his nose is bleeding and slightly crooked.

You're ushered to safety by your members and they all wrap you in their arms for a hug when they see tears starting to stream down your cheeks. You found your body wracking with full-on sobs after feeling the warmth of your members around you.

It wasn't that night but maybe a year later that news broke of his participation in the chat rooms that shook Korea's entertainment industry. He was removed from his band and the members encouraged you to speak up about your experiences with him but you opted for therapy instead. You didn't feel comfortable telling the whole world about your trauma but you wanted to take your power back and the members understand and support you all the way.

#Girl group scenarios #Dreamcatcher scenarios #Jiu scenarios #Sua scenarios #Siyeon scenarios #Handong scenarios #Yoohyeon scenarios #Dami scenarios #Gahyeon scenarios #MooStarOnce #angst

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yoonieboonie · 4 years ago

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The Substitute Lover (2)

word count: 1.7k

genre: fluff, angst hehe

pairing: myg x reader

summary: Finally meeting the college boy you've been eyeing on for months, everything goes wrong when you realise what you're really getting yourself into.

a/n: this is part 2!!! i cant figure out how to link the first part properly but if you know how pls slide into my dms and teach me hehe you can find part 1 at my tumblr profile. thank you for the love on the first chapter!!! 🥺 i'll do my best!!! NEXT | PREVIOUS

As soon as you're out of the view, Hoseok immediately swung an arm around Yoongi's shoulder. He was delighted for his friend, afterall, it has been a while since he was in a relationship.

Yoongi took what happened to heart. Namjoon noticed, it didn't take a genius to. He warningly eyed Hoseok who pretended not to see him. The mint haired boy shrugged off the hand and faced them.

"It's your fault, Hoba." He sighed, using the nickname they had for their energetic friend. "She's a senior and isn't around the campus much but news here spread like wildfire. I don't want her to think—" he continued but Hoseok cut him off.

"Think what? Listen, Yoongi. It's over between you two, it has been for a long time. I think it's time you quit moping and start giving yourself a chance to be happy again." This made Yoongi snap his head towards him. Hoseok may be chatty but he always knew not to cross that line. Both him and Namjoon did. What happened was considered taboo and was never spoken about, no matter how long ago it was.

"What did that Y/N feed you? Aren't I your friend here?" He challenged. Hoseok was about to answer when Namjoon intervened. He patted both of the men on the shoulder to kill the tension arising.

"Let's head to rehearsals, please. I don't want to be the receiving end of Mrs. Lee's anger today."

The auditorium was crowded, all students that are part of the recital are scattered around. Since the trio are all helping the backstage crew, they immediately went to their place and settled in.

"Where have you guys been?" Mijin whispered. They all shrugged in return, she wouldn't rat them out. Knowing well that she would do anything to cover up for Yoongi. Though she acts nonchalant about it, she has been crushing on him since their freshmen years.

"Just do your job and don't fuck this up. Please." She pleaded. All the trio did was nod.

-----------------------------------------------

You are now banging your head on the library table, earning looks from the other students who are procrastinating due to the upcoming finals. If the stake wasn't this high, you wouldn't be this stressed about it. You mentally scold yourself for acting so bold that day. For all you know, Yoongi might be a secret genius and that leaves you making a damn fool out of yourself not only in front of Hoseok and Namjoon but the entire campus aswell.

News of your mess spread quickly, the girl who wore thick-glasses and ugly sweaters asking the ace of the Music department out. You try and avoid their stares and focused on your notes. Praying to the heavens that you at least score decent enough if not scoring higher than Yoongi.

At this point, you don't even bother for the date. You just want to do your best. That is until it was time for your Humanities class again. Your hands are clammy as the test paper are handed out. You prepared for the test but somehow, your heart is pounding out of your chest.

You easily navigate through the questions but one left you confused. You try to recall the answer for a good five minutes but eventually gave up. If you don't know it now, you'll probably not know it later. That is until all papers have been passed and it was time to exit the classroom that a lightbulb went off in your head.

"Plato." you whine. The answer was Plato. You rub your fingers to your temple and let out a frustrated groan.

"Y/N!" a voice you recognise to be Hoseok called out. Honestly, you don't want to face them today. You are embarrassed still, and you're sure if looks could kill, you'd be dead at how Yoongi is shooting glares in your direction.

You adjust your backpack and offered a wave.

"Do you already know where you want to go for the date?" Namjoon teased. Hoseok laughed beside him, shoving his hands in his jean pockets.

"Oh," You sigh. "I don't think I'd be able to go on that date."

That made Yoongi look up at you. He should be relieved, he thought. But he was more intrigued as to why you decided against the bet.

"I forgot the answer to Test II, number 5. I left it blank instead, however when I remembered the answer, the papers were already collected." Not that Yoongi cared, but you seemed sad to not be able to go on that date.

"Think positive, Y/N. The deal was to score higher not to have a perfect score." Hoseok encouraged.

"It's okay, what matters was that I tried. I know Yoongi will ace the test. Specially when the stake was a date with me." you shrugged nonchalantly.

You moved towards him and held out a hand. He eyed it skeptically before lifting his arm to shake it.

"Wait! The results are not out yet!" Namjoon whined. If he was initially opposed to this, he no longer was. He was just as invested as Hoseok was. Pushing you to win against Yoongi.

You laughed and took a step back. "Alright then. If I do win, I want to go to Lotte World."

"You haven't been there?" Hoseok asked. You shook your head.

"I came from Daegu. This is my first time in Seoul and I haven't been able to roam around due to our classes. Besides, I don't see the point entirely but if I would go on a date, I would like it to be there."

Yoongi pretended to not pay attention. It made sense that you were not from the metro. The way you dress and your things are certainly not what a typical college student would wear to the campus. To add to that, he now does notice an accent from the way you speak.

"Namjoon!" a voice called over. It was Mijin, if you recall correctly, she was also part of the rehearsals the trio attended. Hoseok introduced the both of you the first time you had lunch with them. Taking that as a cue to leave, you gathered your things and went home.

The week flew by and before you know it, it was time for the exam results. You were dreading to attend class but not wanting to look like a sore loser, you got ready for the day.

Yoongi subconsciously kept track of the days too. Instead of practicing and attending rehearsals, he found himself too caught up with waiting for the results. He tried to convince himself that he just wants to ensure that you two never go on that date but he isn't really sure.

His heart was pounding out of his chest as he lay down his bed. He was one of the few lucky ones who doesn't have a roommate. Hoseok and Namjoon were, on the otherhand. Deciding to take the day off, he doesn't really give a fuck if he wins or loses the bet. With that, he turned and covered his head with a pillow, trying to fall back asleep.

"Pay up." Yoongi groaned as he hears Hoseok's voice inside his dorm. Namjoon chuckled and called out to Yoongi.

"Hey, I put my bet on you! Hoba told me you'd be too chicken to attend class today and I didn't believe him but seeing it for myself," he trailed off. Yoongi blindy threw his pillow at the two boys maniacally laughing to his side.

"Get up and get dressed. We're going to be late." Namjoon ordered.

Yoongi decided to not bother arguing with them. He knows he won't be able to get out of this so might as well get it done and over with.

Walking to class was annoying for Yoongi. With Hoseok waving the money Namjoon paid him with in Yoongi's face and dreading the results of the exam. He was fucking frustrated.

You came into view, trying to insert yourself into the crowd of people. Trying to get a view of the results. You failed, being lanky and small. You huff, to which Yoongi watched in amusement. You were something, he thought.

"Y/N!" Hoseok beamed and Namjoon followed. Yoongi trailed behind.

"Oh, I haven't seen the results. I'm waiting for the crowd to die down." You explained. Hoseok, excited to know the results, held onto you and helped you squeeze into the bodies of students trying to get a glimpse of their grade.

Yoongi's eyes trailed from Hoseok's hand that was holding onto both of your arms from behind. He knew that his friend was just eager to know the results in order to rub it in his face but the contact of skin made him feel as if it's something he shouldn't be seeing. It felt as if his eyes were interrupting something.

You seemed uncomfortable, he noted. Hoseok was one to be physically comfortable around people. With occasional brushes of hands or an arm around shoulders, you can always expect it from him. Yoongi knew this but he was still somehow bothered by it.

"Yoongi." He was snapped out of his daze when you called for him. He saw your tiny figure offer him a hand.

"Congratulations, Yoongi. It was a great bet." You spoke calmly. He wondered what the results were. To confirm, he didn't shake your hands but instead took a look at it for himself.

FINALS RESULT SY 20XX-20XX

1. Kim Namjoon -100/100

2. Min Yoongi and L/N F/N - 99/100

3. --------------

4. --------------

5. --------------

6. --------------

7. Jung Hoseok -89/100

8. --------------

9. --------------

10. --------------

His eyes widened. He realised you congratulated him because technically, you didn't score higher than him. You didn't win.

Hoseok and Namjoon was chatting with you, patting your back as you smiled at them in return. Assuring them that it's okay and you'll go to Lotte World another time.

"Don't worry, Y/N. Hoba and I would bring you to Lotte World soon!" Namjoon beamed.

You laughed in glee and thanked both of them.

You were about to walk away when Yoongi did something he didn't expect.

"Meet me at the campus gate, 9:00am tomorrow. Don't be late."

With that, Yoongi turned and left. Leaving you with your mouth hanging open, Hoseok and Namjoon smiling at you as they try to catch up with their friend. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NEXT | PREVIOUS

#bts #suga #yoongi #bts suga #myg x reader #min yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi x reader #bts x reader #bts x you

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georgefancys · 5 years ago

Text

police violence and propaganda in ITV’s Endeavour

“That’s not what my dad says... he says you’re all bastards.” - Tommy Cork, Endeavour, ‘Neverland’.

- first of all, I’m white, so if any black people or other poc want to weigh in, please please do. this isn’t going to be a post about race specifically (mostly because there’s barely anything to talk about, Russell Lewis loves him some white characters) but obviously since a hugely disproportionate amount of police violence in real life is towards black people, that has to be a part of the conversation.

- second of all, all cops are bastards. yes, in the uk too.

- it’s not like i’ve seen anyone in the fandom defending fictional police officers or anything (unlike, say, some people in the brooklyn 99 fandom), so this isn’t a response to anything i’ve seen, but if we’re all going to be stanning a cop show i think this needs to be addressed.

- i’m not any kind of expert, i’m just taking information i’ve learnt elsewhere and applying it to Endeavour.

- i’m very willing to debate on stuff, but read the whole post before you do.

Police corruption

so, the overarching plot in Endeavour, from the pilot to the season 6 finale, is police corruption. However, the corrupting influence is not the police force itself. Instead, it’s the Freemasons, a “secret” society. All the corrupt police officers in Endeavour, from ACC Deare to DS Chard to DS Lott are either Masons themselves, have Masonic connections, or are being bribed/blackmailed by Masons. The point of the corruption plotline is that the police are not corrupt themselves, it’s an external influence that is causing the police force problems. Our main characters are the good police officers!! They hate corruption!!

Fred Thursday

Fred Thursday is a narrative foil for Morse. His family life is a reflection of what Morse doesn’t have. This is a large part of season 1, mostly in Fugue and Home. However, he also does morally ambiguous things that Morse doesn’t agree with. For example, in the season 1 episode Rocket, Thursday is xenophobic towards a German engineer, which Morse is vocal about disagreeing with. We the viewers aren’t supposed to agree with Thursday about this, but there’s never a point where Thursday goes ‘oh yeah I probably shouldn’t hate this German dude who obviously isn’t a nazi’. He keeps his views, and this is never addressed again.

In the season 5 episode Quartet, Thursday covers up for a woman who pushed her abusive husband down the stairs, saying that he must have tripped. Morse also vocally disagrees with this. However, I think the writer intended Thursday’s actions here to be more sympathetic. Which yeah, fair enough, right? The wife doesn’t deserve to go to jail for defending herself. But the problem here is Thursday’s interpretation of justice. At no point, even after seeing evidence of domestic abuse towards the wife twice (and it’s implied that there was more that occurred prior to the episode that he knew about) does he arrest or question the husband. He thinks that because the husband died, that’s justice done. He didn’t actually try to carry out justice using the legal system. And I know that legally domestic abuse can be a tricky thing, especially in the 60s, but Thursday essentially ignores his duty as a police officer to intervene in the obvious domestic abuse situation, and then covers up for the wife. And the line that genuinely bothers me so much, and is what makes me think we’re meant to interpret his actions as good:

Thursday: God was out, he left me in charge

Like, no, Thursday, you’re a police officer and it’s your job to carry out the law, not allow an abuse situation to escalate to the point where the wife is forced to kill her husband in self-defence and then lie about it. And i’m positive that this was a quote featured on the official Endeavour Twitter page when the episode aired, so I think we’re meant to be like ‘oh yeah, that’s reasonable’, not ‘uhhhhhh wtf’.

Another, more recent example: season 7. During episode 1, ‘Oracle’, Thursday believes that Carl Sturgis is guilty of the murder of Molly Andrews - his girlfriend - on the towpath. He is questioned. He says he is innocent, and also has an alibi for the murder. Morse believes that Sturgis is innocent; Thursday believes he is guilty.

[SEASON 7 SPOILERS]

Thursday then spends the rest of the season following Sturgis around, trying to find evidence that he’s the towpath killer. Morse finds out about this and tells him to stop. He doesn’t stop. A different man is caught in the act at the towpath, and after being chased by a group of young women, is hit by a car and dies. It’s decided that he was the towpath killer.

Then, Strange searches a house that turns out to be owned by Sturgis. During this search, Strange finds a kidnapped woman, Jenny Tate, in an upstairs room. It turns out that Sturgis did kill Molly Andrews, and all of the other young women at the towpath, and that the man who died at the towpath was a copycat killer. Thursday’s actions here - stalking Carl Sturgis - are justified by the narrative because Sturgis was guilty all along, despite there being evidence to the contrary, and lawfully Thursday should not have been pursuing Sturgis after he was released from police custody.

But the worst thing Thursday does is literal police violence - and on quite a few occasions.

The “Good” Police officers

Now, I’m going to talk about two instances within the show where Thursday uses unlawful violence, and people within the CID cover up for him.

1. Coda.

(disclaimer: i haven’t watched this episode in ages, so if i get a fact wrong i’m sorry but i know the general gist is right)

Thursday is interrogating Bernie Waters, a young man with connections to the Matthews gang. He wants information about... something, I think it might be regarding a possible power struggle within the gang, or a crime somewhere. Morse is waiting outside, unaware of what Thursday is doing. He goes into the warehouse where Thursday and Waters are, to find Thursday... it’s unclear what he’s doing, honestly, the scene is framed so we can’t see properly, but it’s enough to cause Waters pain, and when Thursday lets go, Waters is bending over and breathing heavily.

Now, Morse doesn’t agree with this, and tells Thursday so. Morse: ‘I don’t remember anything about that in the Sergeant’s training manual’. He knows that Thursday isn’t above iffy conduct (he punches Teddy Samuels in the face in the pilot, and pays a newspaper salesman for information in Home). But in the end, out of loyalty to Thursday, Morse doesn’t mention it to Bright. (Similarly, in the pilot, Morse is outright asked by the CS if Thursday punched Samuels, and Morse says no, he didn’t.) Thursday gets away with it.

So, Morse is the so called “good” police officer. Telling Thursday he doesn’t agree with his methods isn’t going to get him to stop. He’s the one who people say, oh, but he doesn’t commit acts of violence towards members of the public. He just turns a blind eye to the officers that do do that.

And I don’t care that Waters is a criminal, or has connections to this gang. Police officers don’t beat up people so they give up information. That isn’t lawful.

2. Prey.

I had a conversation with another member of the fandom about this recently, and we both agreed that it really bothered us. For a large portion of the episode, the CID has in custody Mr Hodges, a park warden who offered a lift to Ingrid Hjort, a missing young woman. He’s also implicated in a similar case from around a year ago, in which a woman was sexually assaulted and left in a coma. He’s in custody for much of the episode, constantly changing his story about Hjort, but maintaining that they can’t prove his guilt. In a search of his property, Strange finds underwear belonging to the woman from a year ago, which would prove his guilt in that case. However, before Strange can return and present this evidence, Morse and Thursday are questioning Hodges again. Hodges says ‘I didn’t do it, and you can’t prove that I did’, while leering at Thursday. Thursday says ‘Can’t prove it, he says’, stands up and starts beating Hodges.

Again, this isn’t presented as a good thing. Morse attempts to pull Thursday off Hodges, and afterwards CS Bright yells at him, saying they’d just received evidence from Strange.

However, a plotline in this season is a bullet in Thursday’s lung, left from when he was shot at the end of the previous season’s finale, Neverland. This causes him pain and frequent coughing fits. And, you know, he’s dealing with a lot at home, like his son saying he wants to join the army. Bright understands this. Thursday is under a lot of pressure.

Then, Bright tells Thursday that he will write in his report that Hodges fell down the stairs on the way back to his cell.

So this time, instead of having a junior officer showing loyalty by not reporting an incident, we have a senior officer lying to protect his subordinate. And again, it’s framed like Bright is proving his loyalty to Thursday, but... police officers should not beat up people they’re questioning. Like Bright said, they had just gathered enough evidence to charge Hodges, so this was unnecessary.

Other incidents of note

There’s a lot to talk about in Inspector Morse and Lewis too, but I’m not going to elaborate on them in this post. If you want me to, drop me a reply or DM and I will. These include:

- Morse lying about his identity in order to gain entry to a suspect’s college rooms (Inspector Morse, ‘The Dead of Jericho’)

- Morse and Lewis entering a possible suspect’s flat without a warrant (Inspector Morse, ‘Last Seen Wearing’)

- Lewis entering a member of the public’s house and threatening her child by shouting in his face and grabbing his arms (Lewis, ‘Expiation’. This is called out in the episode by CS Innocent, however she doesn’t actually punish him in any way, and it’s framed as if Lewis’s actions were perfectly reasonable because the child was withholding information. It’s also worth noting that this child is black.)

- Hathaway threatening a teenager after he possibly is lying during a murder investigation (Lewis, ‘Intelligent Design’. The teenager commits suicide soon after, and it’s strongly implied that while the threats weren’t the sole cause of him killing himself, they were the breaking point for him.)

- Lewis and Hathaway hounding a suspect for the entirety of an episode despite him not being guilty of anything (Lewis, ‘The Mind Has Mountains’)

- Edit: Morse lying about a woman's involvement in several murders in order to get her a lesser sentence (Inspector Morse, 'Service of All the Dead')

General points

Often in police shows, the police officers commit actions which, while illegal, are framed within the show as being necessary evils. For example, two detectives have strong reason to believe a suspect is guilty. Instead of obtaining a search warrant, they enter the suspect’s house without one and search the place for evidence. They end up finding evidence that the suspect is guilty. Despite the fact that the detectives broke the law by illegally searching the house, they are justified by the fact that they found enough evidence to prosecute the guilty person. We, the viewers, are meant to find these illegal actions reasonable because they ultimately lead to justice being served; the ends justify the means. Well, no. In the case of police officers breaking the law, they don’t.

Conclusion

Endeavour is hardly the worst example of ‘copaganda’, i.e. propaganda specifically designed to paint the police force in a positive, rosy light. It’s set in the 1960s, it isn’t relevant in the 21st century. Nevertheless, I believe that any show where the main characters are police officers is a form of copaganda, even if unintentionally. We are meant to side with the protagonist in any media (unless they’re an antihero, which is not the case in Endeavour). In Endeavour, the protagonist is Morse, who is a police officer. The majority of the main characters are also police officers. No matter how morally grey Thursday is painted as, he is still a protagonist.

I’m not saying we should stop watching Endeavour. It’s one of my favourite shows. But, when a show incorporates police officer characters and police violence, we need to think critically about it. We need to challenge the ideas put forwards in the show instead of just accepting them. Yes, there are more important things to be worrying about right now, but I wanted to make this post because the murder of George Floyd and the ongoing riots in Minneapolis made me consider the implications of television shows which paint the police force as the good guys, because we live in a world where the police force are not the good guys. And when our media is telling us that they are, we need to stop, take a step back, and think about why that is.

Resources:

Official George Floyd memorial fund: https://www.gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd

Minnesota Freedom Fund (raising money to pay bail for those arrested in the Minnesota riots): https://minnesotafreedomfund.org/donate

Change.org petitions to hold the police officer who murdered George Floyd accountable: https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd?utm_content=cl_sharecopy_22414602_en-US%3Av4&recruited_by_id=2b2e5010-a181-11ea-8693-a9223455fd7b&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=psf_combo_share_initial

https://www.change.org/p/minneapolis-police-dept-hold-minneapolis-police-accountable-for-killing-george-floyd-as-he-begs-don-t-kill-me

Black Lives Matter website: https://blacklivesmatter.com/

A report of the independent review of deaths and serious incidents in police custody. This is very long, and even so only a general overview, but I would recommend Trends in deaths in police custody and suicides following police custody and section 13, Police Misconduct: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/655401/Report_of_Angiolini_Review_ISBN_Accessible.pdf

Some graphs showing deaths in police custody in England and Wales over the past decade: https://www.inquest.org.uk/deaths-in-police-custody

Article about increase in deaths in police custody in the UK: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/police-custody-deaths-uk-latest-increase-2017-a8462616.html

#endeavour #itv endeavour #lewis #itv lewis #inspector lewis #inspector morse #itv inspector morse #endeavour morse #fred thursday #robbie lewis #robert lewis #james hathaway

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unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years ago

Note

The opposite of your last post for the ask meme! Like 1, 5, 9..

thank you lol sorry it took me a minute to get to posting these answers......i also skipped a couple that got asked previously via answering all primes lol

1: What inspires you?

hm well just basic stuff like “being in a good mood” lol or “being hyped up by friends” or “having reason to be particularly excited about something” which is all like, factors that Contribute Energy......learning about stuff / trying something and discovering like oh i’m Into this thing, or that for whatever reason something turns out to be more within reach / doable than i might’ve thought, like, hey i wanna get on this maybe.......~creatively~ it’s great to like, see other ppl’s art, and while i’ve sure been Inspired by professional artists, overall i’m more like, influenced and motivated by seeing the styles / specific works of Online Randos like me.......i also Draw to create [self-indulgent (usually fairly) niche fanart which is also probably gay and is all the time of characters i like] so like, the Stuff I Wanna Make Fanart Of (which has Whatever characters i specifically would like to draw lol) is sure directly Inspiring in that way. i’d say i never had that experience of like, ppl being kids and seeing some [distributed work in a certain art medium] like oh i want to make my own [distributed work in a certain art medium] as in like, i wanna publish a book, i wanna make movies, etc, but i guess i Did b/c i was like elementary school age in the early-to-mid 00s and experienced some instances of online fanart like :o :o wow damn ppl can do that?? just be a rando drawing fanart and sharing it w/ other people online???? and today i am living that dream, so good for me lol. and also i’d like to shoutout marge simpson anime, which is a particular piece of Online Art (technically fanart even lol) which was like, unusually Motivating as a single work of art lol, i made a notes app fanart like immediately and then a way more “painterly” piece of fanart that was v directly inspired by it lol.......and i was sure Drawing It Up last last winter when bmc 3.0 was impending / happening, b/c i got into like Just in the dec before, so that was Fresh, and then bam the Content is happening concurrently and as soon as we even just learned that jeremy has glasses i immediately spent like honestly 25 consecutive hours making fanart for that exact Inspiration. we didn’t even know abt the hello kitty shoes yet!!! and naturally im not out here for stats or clout but it is Inspiring when ppl enjoy the stuff i make and let me know one way or another. [tag comments that express enthusiasm in any way.....Appreciated]

9: Do you trust people easily, or do people have to earn your trust?

i have to say i am wary! that’s in part just like, a default anxiety defensive mode lol. but it takes me a hot minute (aka weeks....or months.....) to realize when someone like, would like to be friends or something, so while i can be Friendly and Outgoing w/ people like, immediately, i’m not picking up relationships left and right that are close enough that i’d particularly talk about “trust” or whatever. i’m not necessarily Distrustful either lol, it’s more just like, again re: the constant wariness thing. it is not unlike a cat lmao i vibe with them lol i Get that [approach]....and there’s been times i’ve been like “hmm i sure do Not vibe with this person ever and am not comfortable around them / interacting with them to any extent beyond occasional casual interactions that i don’t super enjoy. that’s me being overly anxious and failing to be personable i guess!!” and then that person Does give that reason down the line like oh, actually, that eternal uneasiness was warranted :/ damb

21: How does someone become friends with you?

yknow i was like “didn’t i Also answer this one previously” but it turned out the question i was thinking of, which i Had answered, was “how does someone become important to you” lmao.....same diff

tbh it’s kind of an arduous process lmao like. first of all i am Bad about initiating shit, and a lot of times will like, be wary of Directly Interacting with people for a while b/c i am also Bad At not being too passive / unwilling to assert anything so like, if someone’s regularly interacting with me but i’m not into it / Eventually Realize i’m not into it, it’s that thing again where my main strat is [v gradually sidle away] lol and just find it difficult to extricate myself from interactions / relationships and so that plays into me really feeling like i have to have some real confidence that i’d get on with / vibe with someone Before i start significantly interacting with / getting involved with them which....is also difficult natch lol like. can’t rly get a great feel for what someone’s like w/o talking to them.......but then if i Distance myself at all at any point will that be taken as rejection or whatever.......and then anyways say i Am talking to someone, then it’s like, also i’m just not fantastic at casual conversation always and that stage where you don’t know someone too well and talking is mostly a Polite Ritual and it’s like oh god don’t mess up, respond Normally lmaoo......i am nervous. and i also have a tendency to just naturally try to make an interaction go smoothly than immediately prioritize / feel comfortable busting out My Personality lmao.....so then even if ppl are responding well enough it’s like ah jeez i know we’re all performing always but have i shown them What I’m Actually Like to any significant degree, am i just masking it up / mirroring the crap out of how they talk?? and also it then takes me quite a while to put together “if someone keeps talking to you / choosing to interact with you for like, weeks, it probably means they want to / are interested in doing so” lol.........and then i’ll take ages more of trying to consciously Be More Myself without *also* feeling like this is too much of an act lol, and gradually picking up like oh they’re still not like, annoyed or disinterested or something..............what i am trying to say is it sure takes a minute lol

also when i Am attempting sometimes to like [initiate interaction] with people my version of being Active is still not all that active lmao i will be like [occasional Like] or [even more occasional reply] or [tag comments or no comments coz it’s twitter and im rt-ing stuff] and it’s like oh wow if we’re not having more regular interaction i suppose i’ve failed or something?? does this mean anything further lol, did i do anything.....but welp gotta have that perspective that Not Necessarily lol and i’m not the only person in the world who might not make friends or even friendly acquaintances easily / at the drop of a hat and u can’t necessarily read way into shit that hasn’t Actually been communicated to you.......naturally though it is easier to have some ~perspective~ and Serenity about all this sort of thing when you do already have some Friends lmao........been feeling (and consciously nudging myself towards feeling) More Chill about say like, friendly acquaintances i have who aren’t raring to interact with me on the reg.......ppl i’ll go months or half a year or more between having a convo with and then we’ll be like trading dm’s for a couple days and then it’s back to not really talking, and that Is What It Is, not necessarily a tragedy, and really it feels “rude” to acknowledge to myself like oh i’m not sure that me and whomever even Vibe well enough that *i’d* be raring to talk all the time either, but hey, it’s also true, i don’t have to be Validated by ppl who know me having me in their friend circles in any significant way......i be out here on the peripheral / outer orbits and i can appreciate that for what it is, even if, again, easier to be more Cool with that when i’m not Only in ppl’s periphery...........i appreciate the pal i have who like, 99% of how we Communicate is occasionally sending each other pics of our cats, not very intimate but also back when i was offline for months on end they eventually went out of their way to find someone to get in touch with to verify i hadn’t like died or anything lol........i appreciate the Gestures of Caring that ppl have and do extend, even if we do not actually talk regularly.

and like also i’m bad at like. idk the main way i talk is again, At Some Length and often about real specific shit lol so im like woop aware that many ppl are not into that, or they might be down for having an exchange like that for a day and then they’re done.........not at all like wholly Against more lol Conversational conversations but i gotta say that’s more of a struggle lmao..........so let’s say befriending me takes some Patience. i kinda operate on [cat] rules. jellicle

25: How do you stop yourself from going back to toxic people?

i absolutely am Refraining from launching off on a ted talk of a tangent that is also me being the [the guy about to throw down a card on the pile on the table and that card pile is like “any conversation” and the guy is labeled “me” and the One Card about to be played is labeled “it’s capitalism” or smthing like that and also it’s all in spanish].jpg.......

anyways idk just try to keep things in perspective, right......i generally am pretty Passive about gradually sidling away from relationships that are bad and so by the time i Have exited them it’s pretty overdue lmao and i get to be quite confident that it was The Right Thing........and just when looking back on stuff it’s like, well if you remember the Good or “Not That Bad(tm)” parts maybe consciously think about the whole of it And specifically the Bad parts / the reasons for peacing out.......also the other day i was mulling over some standard [conflicted / complicated feelings about having cut certain ppl out entirely] and it also occurred to me that a lot of the [conflicted] feeling part came from sympathy for them, whereas from the perspective of Entirely My Own Feelings On The Matter minus that “how do/would they feel about it” consideration, the thought of never interacting w/ these ppl is like. fine with me lol........stuff like this is always Complicated and Individual and there’s certainly no like, one-stop simple Guide To Navigating All This Kind Of Thing, Cmon It’s Easy........another consideration i saw the other day via a graphic on twitter, which is probably most relevant re: say, controlling / abusive Partners, was how like, to think about how someone is acting if they’re saying you should Take Them Back b/c they’ve Changed their behavior, but to pay attention to if they’re trying to guilt you into it / justifying or downplaying their previous behavior / shifting blame and otherwise manifesting the inherently harmful and controlling patterns that are supposed to be gone now........anyways yeah complicated stuff and also just p.s. (and what would’ve been the jumping off point for the It’s-Capitalism tangential essay lol) ppl shouldn’t be blamed if they do choose to let someone back in their life like oh now they’re responsible for bringing their mistreatment upon themself.....no better than blaming someone for, say, having a harmful / controlling romantic partner in the first place like oh well they should’ve known better than to have gotten involved with this person..........ppl are in control of their own abusive behavior and shouldn’t be considered Forces Of Nature no matter how intransigent they are

33: Do you have someone you know you can always rely on?

tbt question 9 lol there’s defo some people that i do trust! love it....

45: Do you consider yourself creative?

another #tbt to question 1 lol.......i mean Yes i am creative in ways but like, who Isn’t, really.......think sometimes “creativity” means “do you like, do Art things” which, yes i do, but then within that there’s art that’s deemed more ~creative~ or w/e......not to mention that i don’t think something has to be definitively labeled an Art to be creative. like, for example, Science and Art aren’t opposites / the antithesis of each other, and anytime defines ~science~ as like, people just memorizing and outputting Facts and Numbers and considers this a distinction from Being An Artist.....wild and i Will fight you lmao. i tell you i can v much remember times i have had to completely disengage to keep from losing my cool at people arguing about “why i respect science but could only be an artist :’|” or “why Art is actually harder than Science and also we’re the underdogs b/c society values science so much more :’|” like.....mf...........anyways scientific pursuits may certainly have a different Methodology (see: scientific method) than art but lbr it still requires creativity and science and art are friends you fucking fools................and then also just zooming in on the Art-Making business here, i also like, have never had any interest in coming up with Original stories / characters and the like, and i don’t enjoy trying and it just really is not my thing, and it’s Funny or something when people wanna say that creative fanworks have value b/c they let ppl cut their teeth for what really matters, inevitably making their own original content(tm)......that isn’t inevitable for me lol and certainly is nothing i aim to do ever, and when there’s the suggestion that if you’re Good enough at ur medium you gotta manifest some of that original the character do not steal shit.........anyways i’m not pressed to claim i am an Artist(tm) or Creative(tm) lol like i guess technically i am both but i have no professional aspirations and my brain does not Do [generate original content] so it’s all like, i’m just out here.........s/o to this time i was trying to do my fuckin thing drawing on a tablet in a cafe and some random annoying guy is trying to talk and i happen to mention like “lol i don’t exactly call myself an artist really” and Guy goes “OH REALLY??? WHAT’S WRONG WITH ARTISTS? WHAT’S YOUR ISSUE WITH ART” like please cool it lmao but god p sure it was a guy who was just. very Around and very annoying in general

49: Do you feel like you’re a good person?

yeah i think i’m alright but really what is the use in like considering there 2 be achievable Good or Bad Person Statuses for everyone........let’s say it’s an ongoing, active state to be in the process of consciously choosing to be Good and working towards Better. especially considering that We Live In A Society which tries to teach everyone and continuously imbues our existence with Bad Messages about how to perceive and engage with other people, and being A Good Person is a lifelong effort and it’s unhelpful to feel that if you’re already Good or well-intentioned enough you can just dust off your hands and be like “well my work here is done” and be unprepared to examine your beliefs/actions or deal with the might-as-well-assume-it’s-an-inevitability that even if u have some noble-ass beliefs you’ll fail to live up to them at some point/s.......so like yeah lol again i feel like i am a pretty good person but can always be better and ought to be aware of / willing to work on that at any point

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gauchebistro · 5 years ago

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1000 episodes of yugioh

With the first 6 series(Not counting season 0 or capsule monsters), total episode count is at 972. Sevens is currently at 11/12 episodes. So just 16/17 episodes left for the 1000th overall episode.

It's been a wild ride, and I'm happy I have been able to be on it up to now. There were times I left, and times I came back. But my love for the series and game is eternal.

As many others, I grew up with the dub of Duel Monsters. Being a child you don't tend to think too much about the dubbing, and obviously they did it right enough to hook people. That being said the dub has had some significant issues during the run, namely skipping two series last bit of episodes. Fortunately, since Zexal they have finished each(Haven't checked on vrains but I'm sure they will finish it too). Other issues become more preference based. Such as voice acting and story changes(Mainly done to make it more kid friendly). At the very least many can find comfort in the hilarious dubbing changes, be it because of the actual jokes or the absurdity of it all.

I didn't start watching subs until 5D's, which ironically I only did because of the dub for that series. Like with GX, they never finished dubbing it. Being invested and wanting to know how it ends I decided to watch the subs. Which opened up a whole new world for me. As for GX, I was able to see weekly pics of each episode while it aired in Japan, do not finishing the dub at the time then wasn't an issue.

5D's itself opened me up. As with many, my first reaction of the series was "card games on motorcycles? The fuck is this?". So I didn't actually watch it right away. It wasn't until they started airing the dub in canada(which was probably a month or so behind the us) that I actually sat down and watched an episode. But the moment I started watching I was hooked and started watching every week again. Now, it might have helped that this was early in the series still, during the time in The Facility. Where the first duel was against either Bolt or the prison guard. Both of which didn't use Speed Dueling and I think the only Synchro was from the guard. Even still, I wasn't put off by Speed Dueling or Synchros when I started seeing them.

Enter Zexal and history repeats. First reaction was "Nope!", and I was back on judging before watching. But it didn't take too long for me to decided to watch it. I think I started when 20th so episode had aired in Japan. So i had 20 episodes to binge, and binge I did. Hooked after the first episode. At that point i realized, maybe I like the series overall and shouldn't just close myself off to it because of petty reasons. And boy am I glad I decided to watch Zexal.

Not only did my love for the anime get renewed permanently, but I also started buying cards again...maybe a bit too many. I also decided to watch all the previous series again(Again season 0), all in subs. So I got to see the entirety of GX for the first time, as well as see the original content for DM. And from Zexal to Vrains, I have basically been watching a new episode each week. And it's been amazing(I do have to still finish Vrains though. Pretty sure I'm at Soulburning vs Revolver take 2, so not many left, also know what happens from then to end, but still want to finish watching, just been putting it off...for a while). Sadly, the anime went on a bit of a break at the end of Vrains(6 months I think?), so I didn't have my weekly dose of yugioh(at least for the show, I have friends that I dueled a bit).

As for the actual game. As I said, I bought a lot of cards...like...a lot. At the time i was working at a dollar store that had 10 card repackaged packs for 1 dollar(plus tax). So I bought a bunch of those. Obviously, they weren't amazing cards but they were from more recent sets(Zexal era), so getting no normal monsters was nice. I did go overboard though. Probably got at least 150 packs in total from there during my time. Which means 1500 cards. Eventually I wanted better cards and at first went to places like walmart(big mistake, cost more), then I found an actual card shop. I still was going overboard though, heck I've been over boarding it for like 5 years now I think. Now I don't know how many cards I actually have but I'm 99% sure it's over 10000 so...yah. I choose to not think about the money. I have decided to cut back this year though(Which actually was easier than I expected, albeit a global pandemic probably did help a bunch). Even still, I have 20 decks I'm focused on right now(Was at least 40 before, probably even 60), so it's still a bit but...I like the cards...I can't help myself.

I could go on and on. Like how watching Zexal helped kept me going in life, or how I love each series and will forever have sold my sold to the card devil. But I'll leave it there.

I plan to continue to watch the series to come and play the game with whatever changes that are made. Seen first few episodes of Sevens and I enjoy it so far, gotta continue though(And finish Vrains!). I am glad there is no new Summon method this time though(Although I want a red type of card(I still don't get why Links were done blue)). I think the game is at a good point with different methods, feel adding new ways to duel is more ideal(Although I'm not interested in Speed Duels or Rush Duels). Regardless, I'm still very much in love with this franchise, probably only being beaten in love by Pokemon but even then it's close. So thanks Yugioh for all the great times :)

P.S. I'm still waiting for a fuckingbwold archetype, even a werewolf archetype would do, or even a series. But Aloof Lupine is a great wolf so thanks for that at least(And Performapal Silver Claw).

#yugioh #gonna do a bunch of posts for 1000th episode

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diepower · 5 years ago

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THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Kaiman AGE: 27 CONTACT: IM, ask, discord

CHARACTER(S): Meninas McAllon, Orihime Inoue, Retsu Unohana, Mashiro Kuna, Tier Harribel, Charlotte Chuuhlhourne

CURRENT FANDOM(S): That I write in? It’s gonna be Bleach, OVW (super selectively im just here for one person), ASOIAF (barely- literally when the mood strikes and that one is private also). I have a lot of current interests in general though.

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: While I don’t have anything fully established... I’ve been working with an ASOIAF au (for Harribel & Unohana specifically, though I’m considering it with other characters too), A Dorohedoro AU (for Unohana and Orihime), as well as a Persona AU (more specifically 2&3) for Orihime. I’ve also got a number of post-canon AUs or continuities for all my characters as well!

MY LANGUAGE(S): English, super basic Spanish, barest ASL, fairly good French

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / SCIENCE FICTION / HORROR / WESTERN / ROMANCE / THRILLER / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / EROTIC / CRIME / MYTHOLOGY / CLASSIC / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / ANCIENT / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / SPORT / MUSIC / SCIENCE / FIGHTS / ANGST / SMUT / DRAMA

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: ONE-LINER / 1 PARA / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA (2para is a sweet spot but it really doesn’t matter to me)

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES / NO ONLY BY MUTUALS?: YES / NO

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / CASUAL NOTHING TOO DEEP / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK.

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?: YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. (i let them build up too often but some of yall are too quick to reply jkglfjdgsd)

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / MONTHS / YEARS / DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / A RELATIVE OF MY CHARACTER (AN OC) / DUPLICATES / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / SELF-INSERTS / PEOPLE WITH NO AU VERSE FOR MY FANDOM / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS (italicized are okay, but under really specific circumstances)

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: I’m pretty anal about plotting in that I often refuse to RP unless it’s been plotted or I liked a starter call. And in the case of the latter, I’ll still hop into DMs to plot further depending on where the thread takes us. That said, the best way to reach me is through IMs or Discord (available on request). The only time I turn down plots is if I feel like it would put my character in an OOC situation, and I especially dislike my character being one-sidedly used as a tool to further another character’s development without anything being reciprocated (this happens often especially wrt my healer characters)

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: Communication is really important to me, especially with regards to comfort regarding certain plot elements, and approaching other in-character situations that might have multiple different solutions. I think it’s important that both characters involved get the same amount of development out of writing a thread, and I really hate the idea of being imbalanced as far as that goes (more on that below). That said, I’m always perfectly down to spitball plot ideas and tweak/refine other concepts because I really do enjoy plotting, it’s just super important to me that things are communicated clearly. I get extremely distressed and frustrated IRL if people just kinda throw stuff at me, and it often kills my muse.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: I make an active effort to come up with plots that are engaging and beneficial fairly equally to both parties. I mentioned this above, but especially in the case of writing my healer characters, I have a huge disdain for characters being used as tools to further development while getting nothing substantial in return. That said, I try to be very aware of this in terms of a potential writing partner being on the receiving end. IMO it feels like shit, but I definitely don’t want to make someone else feel that way either. That said, so long as stuff is plotted out clearly and me and the writer are both okay with it, then it’s fine. COMMUNICATION IS KEY, BASICALLY.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?: I kinda just like to throw spaghetti at the wall and whatever sticks, I’m down to fly with. I have a lot of ideas, but again, I like to give my partners the option of doing whatever they’re comfortable with, and h aving equal contribution opportunities.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

- AND WHY?: Everyone has their own circumstances, I really don’t mind. If it’s one I’ve been especially looking forward to, I might be bummed, but it’s no skin off my nose really.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: I don’t typically drop threads or abandon them during their writing. The only thing that would make me do so is offensive content, or huge plot elements being introduced that makes my character ooc and wasn’t previously discussed during plotting.

WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

-AND WHY?: I already feel like I need to take a lot of extra steps to understand others and be understood, and that isn’t something often reciprocated. In my experience, just honest communication is the quickest solution to issues that crop up during writing. For those who HAVE actually had me reach out to them in this way, I really do try to be polite and respectful while being straightforward so the situation can be resolved without any hurt feelings.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: As long as it’s constructive, and not merely negativity, I welcome it. After all, I can’t fix a huge flaw in my writing without having an alternative solution. I’m open to accepting feedback and critique, especially wrt Meninas since my portrayal is quite a large departure from popular fanon perception (from those who choose to pay attention to her, lol), but I also thrive on suggested remedies and solutions to issues in my writing.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: I like to tell stories, and I like to tell narratives that take root in emotional expression and how those feelings can act as a vehicle to the storytelling. I want to move people through feeling, because it can be a powerful experience. I use a lot of inspiration from themes in my other favorite series, as well as inspiration from my own personal experiences as well. I tend to pick characters who have one or two traits in common with myself, whether those be negative or positive. I’m very excited to share all the things I have planned for Meninas, as she’s certainly my most ambitious project to date.

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS: For Meninas specifically, I want to interact with Squad 11 and Squad 9 during the CFYOW verse I have planned. Hisagi specifically would be interesting because of the clash of ideals, in addition to being the only other living person to be able to relate to the horror of being under Pepe’s thrall. I’d also like to steal Ikkaku’s bankai, and have more fight scenes. Lastly, Meninas doesn’t do much of anything in CFYOW, so more interactions with Mayuri and Squad 12 would be cool.

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: I don’t mind briefly referencing darker themes in my writing, especially wrt my own personal experiences, but I want to be very clear that I refuse to write at length or romanticize these themes. I refuse to write anything involving rape, homophobia, transphobia, racism, pedophilia, etc, with this in mind.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: Unless previously discussed, I struggle with starters that have a character pushing mine away. If the situation is super OOC for my character to be in, or frankly too mundane. In Meninas’ case, most domestic stuff is a snoozefest for me (but I LOVE this for other characters).

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?: *saoirse ronan voice* Women. UHHH but no, for real... I like fleshing out female characters quite a bit. Personality types are varied, but I like characters who have some level of nuance to their emotional expression whether it’s an internal or external struggle. I like powerful women too, and the exploration of “strength” as a theme (esp at the intersection of the theme of “femininity” and its expressions) whether this is external strength or internal fortitude. I think I play a wide variety of characters who have vastly different thoughts, beliefs, and forms of expression, but I try to find something in common with who I portray to act as a touch stone. I also like characters who have themes of “justice” and nuanced morality.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: 99% of male characters. And I also hate tsunderes gjklsdjfd

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I really like my writing style especially wrt using emotion to set a cinematic scene and overall tone. I think I’m really strong with conveying emotion, especially with things that are often unspoken. I try to communicate with partners clearly and establish rapports. I love writing headcanons and have a TON of plot ideas as well.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: Oh I’m the slowest replier on the planet and I’m apparently intimidating lol

DO YOU RP SMUT?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS (i prefer to go into detail about sensations, rather than the actual acts as it comes off stifled and weirdly technical)

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: Honestly I just do what Meninas tells me.

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: Kink stuff is weird territory for me, absolutely gotta be discussed in private and comfort levels clearly established.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO. Relationships in general rule, and while I do have a romantic ship that plays a large part in Meninas’ plot, the romance comes secondary to the plot itself. I really enjoy writing and developing romances, but more than that I like establishing connections. I love the relationships I’ve got planned with Giselle, Candice, Liltotto, and Bambietta because there are going to be a LOT of drastically different things that inform my portrayal of Meninas coming from these relationships (both positive and negative, but ultimately places of growth).

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. Like I said, plot comes first. And especially in the case of Meninas, she has a lot of self exploration and reflection to do before she can engage in a healthy relationship or address any feelings of romance. I do place a large focus on the formation of her relationships and how they shape the way she relates to other people and grows as a person, but I am extremely sensitive to making sure I’m not writing a female character who’s entire development is dependent on a romance with a male character- perish the thought lol.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU: MULTI-SHIP / SINGLE-SHIP / DUAL-SHIP — MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: For Meninas, it’s a matter of her acknowledging, understanding, and accepting that she can be worth more than how useful she is to others. She had a series of traumatizing and character defining experiences regarding love, romance, and personal worth that strongly shaped the way she perceives her relationships to others and her emotional expression. Trust is another huge factor for me, Meninas needs to be around someone she believes in. Strength is another aspect. She likes someone who challenges her, keeps her on her toes, and is sturdy like physically. Because she’ll break you. THAT SAID- Meninas tends to be open wrt her body, but closed off when it comes to her heart. Hate to see it, love to write it.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. As long as the premise makes sense. I like relationships to have some matter of significance and planning, especially because of how I’ve written the way Meninas picks and chooses who to get close to in Silbern depending on what suits her interests. Genuine friendship is a weird thing for Meninas, as most of her relationships are formed out of convenience. If you aren’t useful to Meninas’ schemeing, then she has no interest in dealing with you beyond platitudes and keeping up appearances and will interact with you as such.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: WE LOVE DUPLICITOUS WOMEN! No, but at the core of my Meninas characterization, the sentiment is “Everything is not as it appears” even down to the relationships she has with others. Meninas’ entire personality is constructed as a survival tactic from an early age (in addition to being a way to make herself more useful as a tool to others, and thus seen as having more worth in general), and as a result, she hasn’t really allowed herself to live life as a fully realized person. Her plots generally offer silent rebellion, playing a role in regards to her self presentation, chaotic mean girl level bullshit, and cool fights/training. Also you get to interact with a big buff lady. That said about her personality, it depends on the verse. CFYOW Meninas will be more unhinged, while post-CFYOW Meninas will be more honest and rowdy.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?: Muses who are standoffish or disengage right at the start. Meninas doesn’t interact with people without a certain purpose, so if they aren’t interested, she’s not going to be either.

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?: Revenge, strength, redefining what “power” means in terms of how the world works. She wants to see the Shinigami dead for their role in her parents deaths, and feels the same about Yhwach.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?: Ability, potential threat, perceived strength, where loyalty lies; how potentially useful you can be to her.

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?: Strength both in a physical sense, but also in belief and convictions. Honesty, and understanding the flaws of the world they live in.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?: Fighting, beauty, freedom, abolishing Quincy classism based on blood purity, music, fashion, blacksmithing.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: Blind loyalty to Yhwach, talking about the horrors of war as if it doesn’t concern them, Bambietta, Quincy supremacy,

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?: Her parents were killed in the first Quincy war and she was left abandoned and grew up literally fighting for her life and living on the streets. She often likens fighting pits to the bowels of Hell (and I often play with the ironic theme of crawling out of hell to appear as an angel or something divine). She is consumed by a quest for revenge, and strongly believes her ends will justify the means taken to fulfill her ideal. As a direct result of these experiences, her emotional health and maturity is severely affected, and she doesn’t view herself as a person worthy or capable of feeling as much as a tool who, in the right hands, can be utilized to bring about the revenge she craves.

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?: (1) Men who feel non-consensually entitled to her body. That said, she’s done a fairly excellent job at maintaining control and an unassuming threatening nature despite the widely known understanding of her Schrift ability and how it augments. (2) Someone touching her Quincy cross, as it’s her most precious and private item. (3) Anyone who dares get in the way of her plans that can’t be manipulated in some other useful aspect.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?: Meninas hates Yhwach, and the Shinigami most predominately, but she also harbors disgust for Hollows as an instinct. That said, her young life was spent detached from Quincy culture (in addition to being a Gemischt and the inherent isolation that comes with that status), so despite her early induction into the Wandenreich ranks, Meninas does not harbor the same Quincy nationalism and loyalty that others of her race do. They’re a means to an end, and just happen to help her become stronger.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: She comes off as easy to approach, but if you want genuine Meninas I’m sorry the number you’re trying to reach has been disconnected. Goodbye!

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: Everything I’ve written about her is based in headcanon! I’ve got both a lengthy biography as well as headcanons gathered in the sidebar links on my blog.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

TAGGED BY: @bazzardburner TAGGING: i think this has made its rounds so steal it!

#MEME / ANSWERED #HANDS OF THE DIVINE ; A SELF MADE CREATION / HEADCANON #ok take 2 dont delete all my bolded shit pls

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somethinglacking · 5 years ago

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Shooting For Stars Chapter 3

Summary:

Hyuna Lee just started college, and while procrastinating decided to give a popular MMO called LOLOL a try. Here she will meet new friends, battle monsters, part takes in epic quests, and potentially find love!

Most of this will take place in LOLOL at the beginning.

This takes place a year/ year and a half after Seven’s good end, and the secret endings. Yoosung x OC

Chapter word count: 3603

Smut in later chapters, of course Shooting For Stars: Chapter 1 Shooting for Stars: Chapter 2 ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

There was something strangely comforting about her new daily routine. Despite having to live off of instant ramen for a week, Hyuna didn’t regret buying her monthly subscription and a couple of the expansions for LOLOL. It’s only been 5 days leading into Saturday now since she joined the game. Without fail her new friend would either be online waiting for her or log in shortly after she did. They’d just do things about the map and chat and laugh. She was curious now of what he sounded like. It’d be nice to have a headset, but she already wasted enough of her money setting her account up for the month. It’d have to wait for her next allowance date. Also at the same time, she was nervous about chatting with a stranger over a microphone. She knew it was common for MMO players, but she couldn’t help but feel a little self cautious.

Another thing she appreciated about Yoosung, he never asked her gender. He didn’t seem to care if she was a girl or a guy. He never got pervy with her like a few nameless avatars in the world chat would get with one another. He was respectful and it made her trust him a little more. Yoosung never mentioned her lack of microphone when they play either. A part of her wondered if he thought she was a guy. It would make sense, he treated her like one. Not that she minded. A part of her was worried he'd get weird if they ever voice chatted and he found out she was, in fact, female.

She rinsed off and stepped out of the shower. It was Saturday and she had nowhere to be. Also, her only friend happened to be online, so it wasn’t like she was about to be invited out somewhere. It was warm for late September so she pulled on a pair of panties and an oversized t-shirt. The artist made her way to the coffeepot she had set up in her dorm and started brewing coffee. It wasn’t by any mean early, about eleven am, meaning she slept in. Yawn to herself she watched as her coffee pot made a single cup of coffee. She added three spoonfuls of sugar along with a hazelnut coffee creamer. The steam rising off her hot drink was nearly intoxicating as she moved to her computer chair.

The computer booted up as the heel of her foot swayed her chair from side to side while she blew at the steam rising from her coffee. Sipping it carefully she watched as LOLOL loaded up and checked for updates. The newsletter popped up, which she skipped in favour of getting into the game. Soon her now super cute and classy Avatar booted up. She was Level 23 now only after a few days of playing with Yoosung. Smiling she checked her friend’s list. Unknown was online but other than that nobody seemed to be around. Frowning a little the artist when to the brewing station in the town she was in. She wanted to build her skills before even attempting the revival potions Yoosung wanted so badly.

Hyuna opened the Wiki on her phone and quickly read all the ins and outs of potion brewing. Revival potion was basically and extra life, you use it at the beginning of the battle and once your hp became Zero you’d ‘revive’ with half a health bar. She could see how that was useful for a Tank that took the brunt of the damage. Though it only had a 5% brew success rate, and even with the craft level maxed at 99 it was a 10% craft rate. Her class gave her a brewing luck stat, but it wouldn’t help with the rarity of crafting the potion. She whistled at how difficult it was to obtain. They were missing a couple of ingredients, yet she did have a good supply of the rarer ones, the glow mushrooms.

The avatar moved to the pot in the back room of the item store, and she began crafting very basic potions. Hyuna soon realized she would have an abundance of them. Sighing she set to work leveling up her craft skills. It didn’t take much, her avatar would keep making this one potion until supplies ran out. So she settled for opening MeTube on her phone and sipping at her warm coffee waiting for the busy work to be done within her game. She typed in LOLOL and found a tutorial for her class. Looking promising she loaded it up and learned some info and tricks about being the parties, Arche Master.

Once the fifteen-minute video was over she noticed her character had stopped brewing potions. She smiled running back into the town square. Yoosung had told her she could sell items for a better price on the trade, but she didn’t quite understand how to do that. Plus her friend wasn’t online, so what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. She sold her potions for probably a fraction of their worth to an NPC and ran back to the brewing station. A notification popped up and her heart fluttered, then disappointment set in to see it was only HackerGod logging in, and not Yoosung. She bit her lip making her Avatar start brewing more potions to build the skill.

Her friend might have used the weekends to catch up on the sleep he was clearly depriving himself of during the week. Hyuna frowned wondering if he suffered from insomnia; if that was the case she hoped he was sleeping right now, and that she wouldn’t see him until later in the afternoon. She knew for a fact the boy needed all the rest he could get. While she was lost in thought worrying about the stranger she had been playing the game with a DM came in

HackerGod: lolol

HackerGod: You low balled your potions price

HackerGod: I saw that

HackerGod: Actually, Saeran did and tattled on you

Hyuna raised an eyebrow reading the messages before her face flushed in embarrassment.

Sapfyre: Shush!

Sapfyre: And whose Saeran?

HackerGod: Oh, he’s my brother

HackerGod: Guess you know him as UnknownUserName

HackerGod: But that’s a mouthful

Sapfyre: Oooh, I think you all were using your first names that night Yoosung tried to get us all killed. ^^;

HackerGod: Mmmhmmm~

HackerGod: Yoosung is usually a really good boy too

HackerGod: Wonder why he would take such a risk with only you in the party

HackerGod: Think he was trying to show off?

The artist read the messages. It was clear to see this person knew her new friend on a personal level. She flushed again, not sure why they were talking about Yoosung in such a weird way. Or even talking to her at all.

Sapfyre: Yoosung’s a good boy, huh?

HackerGod: Pbffft

HackerGod: If you talk to him like that he’d die of heart failure for sure.

Sapfyre: ^^;

Sapfyre: You’re the one weirdly speaking of him.

HackerGod: So my name is Saeyoung!~

HackerGod: My wife is AhaChaCha and her name is Mi-Cha

HackerGod: >-<

HackerGod: What’s your name?

Hyuna smiled eyeing the messages with suspicion. Clearly, this guy was trying to get information out of her. She doubted Yoosung had asked for him too, but you can never be too careful with strangers on the internet. It was odd he was introduction all of them with their first name.

Sapfyre: It's a pleasure to meet you ^^

Sapfyre: But don’t tell me you can’t read D:

Sapfyre: My name reads Sapfyre!

There was a silence between messages, she wondered if she upset them. Chewing her lip and loaded another round of potions to brew as new messages flooded in.

HackerGod: Haha you shy?

HackerGod: I promise you I’m not creepy ^^

HackerGod: Okay, I guess that statement made me look creepy haha

HackerGod: It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me

HackerGod: I admire your caution when dealing with strangers on the internet

HackerGod: Now only if Mi-Cha would learn some caution from you

The girl snorted as he dissed his wife so casually.

Sapfyre: Never be too careful!

Sapfyre: Wouldn’t want someone to kidnap me and sell my organs~

Sapfyre: I’m quite attached to them, you could say

HackerGod: You’re funny

HackerGod: Well Yoosung is about to log in

HackerGod: Shhh don’t tell him I was talking to you

Hyuna looked as HackerGod logged out and Yoosung logged into the server. She smiled looking at his now lit up username. He was in the same town as her, maybe he did log off after her last night. She hoped so at least.

Opening her forever long private messages with Yoosung; she messaged first

Sapfyre: I should sing a witch’s brew song as I make these potions

Sapfyre: Ahem!

Sapfyre: Bubble and Bobble

Sapfyre: My magic stew!

Sapfyre: If you burn another potion

Sapfyre: I’ll make a commotion

Sapfyre: ^^;;

Sapfyre: Good Morning

SupermanYoosung★: Hahaha

SupermanYoosung★: Should I come dance around your pot?

SupermanYoosung★: Sing your witches song too?

SupermanYoosung★: Good Morning~

She smiled warmly at the messages. Her rhyming and song weren’t very good, but at least he didn’t make fun of her for it. She made her Avatar dance as the final potion finished.

Sapfyre: Did you have a good sleep

Sapfyre: Have you eaten?

Yoosung’s Avatar loaded onto the page and he joined in with her dance. It looked silly and she couldn’t help the bubbly giggle that escaped her. This boy was something else, for sure.

SupermanYoosung★: Are you caring for me?

SupermanYoosung★: ^^

SupermanYoosung★: I got a couple of hours of sleep and had some cereal SupermanYoosung★: What about you Sap?

Sapfyre: I had coffee and my mandatory 6 hours of sleep.

SupermanYoosung★: D:

SupermanYoosung★: Coffee isn’t good on an empty tummy!

Sapfyre: Now who is caring for who, hmm?

SupermanYoosung★: Ahaha caught me

SupermanYoosung★: You should at least have a piece of toast.

SupermanYoosung★: And let me sell your potions for you

Sapfyre: Which one tattled?!?!?!?!?

Sapfyre: Was it HackerGod?

Sapfyre: Or was it UnknownUseName who tattled on me!!

Sapfyre: Tell me!

Sapfyre: I’ll have my revenge!

SupermanYoosung★: lolol

SupermanYoosung★: It was HackerGod

SupermanYoosung★: He sent me a text message with a SS of you being naughty~

Hyuna facepalmed and blushed re-reading the words, Truthfully they were harmless, but her filthy mind went to other places.

Sapfyre: Ya well he got all creepy

Sapfyre: Scolding me

Sapfyre: Speaking weirdly about you

Sapfyre: Asking me my real name

Sapfyre: Bullying his wife

SupermanYoosung★: ……

SupermanYoosung★: He did what now!!!

SupermanYoosung★: D:

SupermanYoosung★: What did he say!?!?!

SupermanYoosung★: Did you tell him your name D:

A smile form on her lips. Take that you god damn tattle tale. You and your brother! An almost sadistic smirk took root on her face as she cracked her knuckles and stretched.

Sapfyre: It’s so sad Yoosung!

Sapfyre: He can’t even read

Sapfyre: Clearly my name says Sapfyre

SupermanYoosung★: lolol

SupermanYoosung★: Good!

SupermanYoosung★: NEVER! EVER TELL!! THAT GUY ANYTHING!!!

Sapfyre: He is such a bully!

Sapfyre: If I was a higher rank and level I’d go set his guildhall on fire

SupermanYoosung★: Looooool

SupermanYoosung★: I’d pay to see that

SupermanYoosung★: He’s actually my best friend IRL

SupermanYoosung★: T^T

SupermanYoosung★: Can’t believe he got all weird on you like that.

That was an interesting development. They all knew each other outside the game then? Hyuna re-read it pondering the implication of what that HackerGod guy was trying to do. There was absolutely no way he knew she was female. They all had taken to using male pronouns for her. The safest bet, more guys than girls on the platform. Was Yoosung gay? He didn’t seem like it, but then again everyone can be something their not online.

Sapfyre: He did tell me-

Sapfyre: Maybe I shouldn’t tell you >-<

SupermanYoosung★: GAH!

SupermanYoosung★: Tell Me!

SupermanYoosung★: So I can yell at him later!

Sapfyre: It’s sooooo embarrassing

Sapfyre: But

Sapfyre: He told me you’re usually a-

Okay so maybe she was being mean, but she paused there. Waiting for his reaction. She just couldn’t help herself, he was sooo cute so riled up like this.

SupermanYoosung★: WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT ME?!?!?

SupermanYoosung★: Don’t do this to me!

SupermanYoosung★: I have to know now!

Sapfyre: T^T

Sapfyre: He said

Sapfyre: You’re usually a good boy~

SupermanYoosung★: Eh?

SupermanYoosung★: …..

SupermanYoosung★: What the actual hell, Saeyoung…

Sapfyre: lolololol

Sapfyre: Ya, he didn’t say anything bad about you.

SupermanYoosung★: I swear I had a panic attack for a moment

SupermanYoosung★: He’s a prankster

SupermanYoosung★: I use to fall for his crap all the time.

Sapfyre: Well… I’d say you fell for it again

Sapfyre: Ahaha you’re kinda cute all worked up like that

SupermanYoosung★: Heh~

SupermanYoosung★: But seriously hand me your potions

SupermanYoosung★: I’ll sell them for you while you go AFK to have some toast

He left no room for argument. Heaving a sigh, she opened her inventory and started a share with Yoosung. She handed him a ton of potion’s so which he typed out his surprise. Well, she had been at it for a while, what did he expect. Hyuna then told him she’s gonna be a good and have something to eat. She left her Avatar crafting more potions while she wandered into her kitchen.

The coffee pot was turned on once again as the artist looked at what she had for food in her apartment. To say the least, it wasn’t much, but she did have some eggs, bacon, and milk. It would do. Sighing she grabbed them and set the ingredients on the counter and set to work making herself some food.

Half an hour later and 2 cups of coffee her scrambled eggs where bacon was done. Smiling to herself pleased with her meal she went back to her computer. Her Avatar had long since stop brewing due to a lack of items. Taking a bite of her food she checked her level and clicked on Yoosung’s name. He was in a dungeon with UnknownUserName. A little disappointed, but knew it would get boring waiting for her to return. It probably took him all of 2 seconds to trade and sell her good too. Opting to leave her friend to do his own thing, and ran back to the storage and stored what she had and took out her fishing rod. After that, she headed to the lack to start fishing.

It wasn’t much, but it was honest work she supposed. Truthfully Yoosung mentioned a farming farm where she could breed and raise livestock, but you had to be level 30 to get in. Hyuna eyed her taunting level 23. Maybe Yoosung would run a couple of dungeons with her as the day progressed. As it stood, she wouldn’t stand a chance in the level 70 dungeon him and his friend was currently crawling.

It took her half an hour to finish her food and coffee while working on her busy work. Her fishing and cooking were going good. No one ever wanted to buy cooked fish so she felt safe just selling it to the NPC and calling it done. After that, she went to smiths and browsed today’s selection of weapons and armor. Nothing stood out, after all, she had some nifty level 30 equipment that she was waiting to equip. She just had to hang on a couple more levels.

SupermanYoosung★: Why didn’t you tell me you were back? Sapfyre: You were busy in a dungeon with Unknown SupermanYoosung★: So??? SupermanYoosung★: We were just killing time while I waited for you! SupermanYoosung★: weren’t you bored? Sapfyre: I fished? SupermanYoosung★: I rolled my eyes sooo hard just then SupermanYoosung★: Let’s get on with today’s missions! Sapfyre: Yes Sir! SupermanYoosung★: How was your toast Sapfyre: I don’t have any bread Sapfyre: I ended up making bacon and eggs Sapfyre: I’m on coffee #4 SupermanYoosung★: You know SupermanYoosung★: I’m in this coffee making club at my school SupermanYoosung★: I’ve been practicing latte art Sapfyre: Wow Sapfyre: My schools tiny Sapfyre: Really only clubs is like a drawing, crafts, sculpting, dance, drama and things like that SupermanYoosung★: Those sound fun, you join any? Sapfyre: I started class this week. It’s my first year of college SupermanYoosung★: Wow I’m going into my third year Sapfyre: Oh you must be older than me then SupermanYoosung★: I turned 22 in March Sapfyre: I’m a baby Sapfyre: I’m only just turned 20 SupermanYoosung★: I’m so used to being the baby of my friend group SupermanYoosung★: It’s kinda nice being older than someone for once SupermanYoosung★: One of my friends is 29 nearly 30! Sapfyre: You must have a wide variety of friends Sapfyre: ^^ SupermanYoosung★: Ya! SupermanYoosung★: But the ones closest to me in age are the ones you’ve met here SupermanYoosung★: So naturally we became the closest in terms of friendship SupermanYoosung★: Though I’m pretty close to this other guy who is 26 SupermanYoosung★: What about you? SupermanYoosung★: What are your friends like? Hyuna frowned looking to the side sadly. She remembered the variety of friends she had up until high school. She was a loner now, and the idea of telling this stranger that she considered him her only friend was depressing. What was wrong with a little white lie? After all, they were only internet friends. No need to seem needy or pathetic. Sapfyre: They’re great! Sapfyre: We all kinda went our separate ways after high school Sapfyre: But we all stay in contact on social media ^^ A stray tear escaped and rolled silently down her cheek. Hyuna wiped it taking a deep breath. At least he couldn’t see her, see what a bad liar she was in actuality. SupermanYoosung★: That’s good SupermanYoosung★: Plus you’ll meet more people with the same interests as you at school! How was this guy so optimistic about literally everything! The forced smile turned genuine as she took a sip of her coffee. Sapfyre: Well I did meet you too Sapfyre: We are friends right? SupermanYoosung★: Hell ya we are! SupermanYoosung★: you almost finished? Ready to crawl a dungeon? Sapfyre: Sure! Sapfyre: Want some cooked fish? Sapfyre: I have plenty~ SupermanYoosung★: hahaha SupermanYoosung★: No thanks Sapfyre: Saying no to a gift coming from the deepest part of my heart! Sapfyre: I’m crushed Yoosung. SupermanYoosung★: Maybe I could take one fish >-> SupermanYoosung★: Just sell the rest to the NPC SupermanYoosung★: Wait! His Avatar ran over to her and offered a trade. SupermanYoosung★: I have the money from your potions! SupermanYoosung★: Here!!! Hyuna accepted her money back blinking. Okay so HackerGod hadn’t been wrong, she really did low ball herself out of some money earlier. She would really have to study the trade and sales part of the game, she couldn’t keep having Yoosung do it. She quickly threw 99 cooked fish over to his inventory before opting out of the trade screen. Sapfyre: Thank you~ Sapfyre: Sorry to keep bothering you for something simple SupermanYoosung★: I don’t mind SupermanYoosung★: I like helping you out Sapfyre: You’re like a literal ball of sunshine! Sapfyre: Like you’re so amazing! Sapfyre: I’ll stop SupermanYoosung★: No keep going SupermanYoosung★: Don’t stop complimenting on my account Sapfyre: Oh and the ego grows. SupermanYoosung★: I think you’re pretty great too though SupermanYoosung★: And tbh it makes me happy that I can help you and teach you the game Sapfyre: Mr. Sunshine over here SupermanYoosung★: Haha Sapfyre: I’m really glad you slid into my dm’s Sapfyre: I hadn’t even been in the game for 5 minutes when you messages >-< SupermanYoosung★: Seriously? SupermanYoosung★: Well enough being mushy SupermanYoosung★: We are gonna tackle a level 20 boss a few times for its rare drop! Sapfyre: Cool beans Sapfyre: I might be able to do something! SupermanYoosung★: Whooo-Hooo SupermanYoosung★: Progressing!! The entire day passed and stars came out while the duo played their game. Hyuna yawned rubbing her drying and strained eyes watching the avatars move about the screen together. They were headed back to guildhall where Yoosung was gonna put some items in the free to grab box in case someone in the guild needed them. The items where various monsters drop but didn’t sell for much. When she suggested putting her cooked fish in there Yoosung told her everyone would end up leaving the guild. Everyone has more cooked fish then they knew what to do with. She couldn’t help but laugh at how insulting cooked fish seemed to be to everyone on the server. SupermanYoosung★: I’ll be AFK SupermanYoosung★: I should shower >-< Sapfyre: Okay! Sapfyre: I’ll go cook more fish Sapfyre: Enjoy your shower! SupermanYoosung★: More Fish! SupermanYoosung★: Haha okay brb. More busywork it was! Heading down the street running past the busy town square she was on a mission. There was a daily field where you could harvest crops, so she decided to stop there first before heading to the fishing spot. After about half an hour, Yoosung logged back in and her heart racing in her chest. SupermanYoosung★: Hate to do this SupermanYoosung★: But a friend of mine showed up SupermanYoosung★: I guess I’ll be off for the night Hyuna frowned feeling utterly disappointed. Logically she had been playing with him all day. It made sense that he would want some actual human interaction during his weekend. Smiling in defeat she replied. Sapfyre: Have fun! Sapfyre: I’ll be on tomorrow sometime Sapfyre: We can pick up where we left off then! SupermanYoosung★: sure Thing ^^ SupermanYoosung★: Have a good night! Sapfyre: You too~ Just like that, he was gone, and Hyuna looked around her empty apartment sighing to herself. She might as well draw or something now that she was free. Swiftly she logged out of LOLOL and grabbed her tablet.

#Yoosung Kim #yoosung #mysme yoosung #mysme #yoosung x oc #yoosungxoc #mystic messenger #mysticmessenger #online relationship #LOLOL

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wingedbeings · 5 years ago

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hello! are you also stuck in quarantine with your abuser(s)? i don't really know the relationship with your abuser(s) anyway. if you are, do you have any advice on how you're managing? my abuser is working today but my mother is an alcoholic and i can't leave because i need to make sure she doesn't try to drive or run away. yesterday i turned 13 so i obviously can't drive, i don't have anywhere to go. it's been a very hard day and if you had any input it would be highly appreciated! ty. xoxo

aa sort of?? i'm kind of always stuck with some of my abusers (my mum and stepfather) and rn the quarantine stuff isn't as much affecting my situation bc it was already quite odd before and on top of that my mental and physical health make me mostly homebound and fully unable to work or pursue education in any way

but i honestly dont have all that much advice to give sadly other than trying your best to stay as distracted as possible and to mostly keep away from them when you're able to, and other than that the only things i can really think of is maybe trying to see if it'd be an option to stay with different family or friends or anything similar, but considering u said u don't have anywhere to go i assume you've already thought of that D: i rlly relate to that nd have always been in the same boat regarding not rlly having an escape, and i rlly hope that'll change soon for you, and that in the meantime things will be somewhat manageable at least!!

for me my main survival mechanisms regarding the abuse have become escapism (both through avoidance + constant distractions and through dissociation + overall not being fully in touch with reality 99% of the time) and emotional impermanence, on top of just immediately involuntarily repressing any abuse still and not remembering much of anything at all regarding my days and thats honestly how i've been dealing with this my entire life

one potential tip though is that if u need to cope similarly to survive, i find directly venting abt the abuse can sometimes make it harder to manage the situation bc it makes you confront it and remember and bring things back up, so unless thats something thats helpful for you, i from personal experience don't recommend that too much while you're still in an abusive situation and can't stabilise and process the traumas yet D:

personally i find less direct venting can be rlly helpful tho and gives me an outlet, like the type of things i post here and stuff like general info on abuse and trauma n relating to other victims! generally i also rlly suggest trying to find other outlets for these things like for example art or exercise (though pls be careful not to exercise excessively and to take care of urself!!!) or other coping techniques that work for you! and to pls try ur best to not give in to unhealthy coping techniques but also to forgive urself if u do and to not see it as something that rids of the progress u make!

i havent been able to rlly manage anything like hobbies due to my mental and physical health myself, but if you can i do very much suggest trying to focus on those kinds of things too!! and pls remember theres no such thing as a dumb hobby or interest!!

also ik that situations like these can often make substance abuse worse too so i rlly hope things are manageable with your mum rn, and i'm rlly sorry u have to take on this role towards her

aa overall i'm rlly sorry you're stuck in this situation and i really hope it'll improve soon!! i rlly wish there was more i could do but pls know i'm always here for u nd my inbox and dms r always open!!

also belated happy birthday!! i rlly hope you could somewhat enjoy your birthday regardless of all these things, but if not i just want to say that i hope the next years will be better and that u will be around for them, and i also want to remind u that once you get out of your current situation you'll finally be able to make up for all the years and experiences the abuse made you lose! pls try ur best to stay strong!! i'm sending lots of love n support ur way and to anyone else who's stuck with abusers due to the quarantine!! ♡

#aa honestly if u r able to and ur abuser(s) allow it i honestly suggest things like sleeping through most of this as well!!#if any of my followers have any advice/tips on how to cope with this pls reply to this or rb this post w that info!! ♡#ask #anonymous #btw!!#i'm rlly proud of u for trying ur best to manage in such a difficult situation anon ♡#abuse tw #alcohol mention tw #addiction mention tw #addiction tw #substance abuse mention tw #substance abuse tw #long post

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d6official · 4 years ago

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Day6’s Jae Park is leading K-pop’s vital mental health conversation for Dazed Magazine

The musician discusses his solo project, eaJ, and reveals how a panic attack led him to tackle his own mental health issues and launch a social initiative.

He may have played his father’s guitar in the living room as a kid, but a career in music always felt like a pipe dream for Jae Park. Raised in Cerritos, California, Jae was pursuing higher education when he got the chance to audition for a Korean American Idol-esque survival show. Through this experience, he was able to carve a space for himself in the Korean music scene by ultimately joining Korean rock group Day6 in 2015.

Making their debut almost six years ago, Day6 created a space for a different type of idol group, a band. The five-member group has each member on an instrument: a drummer, two guitarists, a bassist, and a keyboard player. The members are heavily involved with the lyric writing and production of their songs. A trip to one of their live performances will surprise you with a member shredding a solo on the electric guitar instead of an intricate dance break. Their first EP, The Day, peaked at number two on Billboard’s World Album Chart, and since then, each succeeding release has found a home in the top 10.

Outside of the day job, Jae’s been busy with various projects: he’s a part-time streamer on Twitch, a co-host on the How Did I Get Here (HDIGH) podcast and, most recently, a solo artist, posting a string of self-penned songs under the alias eaJ to his YouTube channel from early last year. These side projects give us an insight into his personality. HDIGH explores a playful side to Jae; he and his co-host begin with a topic, start by sharing their opinions and beliefs, and slowly, they spiral into a deep dive on Google, diverging into a completely new topic by the end of the episode. It leaves them asking “How did I get here?”

Feeling lost and uninspired, Jae began writing the tracks as a way to reconnect with his love of music. These solo tracks sound different to his work with Day6. While Day6’s high energy work is reminiscent of early 2000s pop punk bands like All Time Low, the aeJ project tracks are tranquil, almost dreamlike, revealing a softer side of Jae’s musicality.

But amid this new venture, Jae faced mental health challenges that he feels changed his life, beginning with a panic attack in the back of a taxi. In recent times, more K-pop idols have become outspoken about their struggles, but there’s still a stigma attached to the topic in Eastern society. Compared to artists in the West, K-pop idols are more reserved about their relationship with mental health. Jae believes that continuing this cycle of “toxic positivity” and perfection can be destructive to today’s youth, fueling the global prevalence of adolescent mental health disorders.

These confrontations with what he calls “feelings of death, doom, and finality” encouraged him to become a mental health advocate and, through that, From Friends was born – a clothing line created in collaboration with REPRESENT, which helped the star raise £100,000 for mental health charities.

We caught up with Jae to talk about his projects, mental health, and why From Friends was such a valuable experience to the 28-year-old artist.

You began the eaJ solo project last year. Could you talk a bit more about that?

Jae Park: I came to the conclusion that I’d forgotten what kind of music I liked. (I wanted) to find my identity, so I started spinning out track after track; it came almost like word vomit. I was throwing up all this emotional baggage I had (built) up over the years. I just ended up releasing it. I took everyone for the ride, because (I thought), ‘If I’m gonna make it, I might as well take you with me’.

Can you talk us through some of the issues you were dealing with at the time?

Jae Park: I ended up breaking down in a taxi ride on the way home from a video shoot for the eaJ project, on a song called “Truman”. At first, I felt my body go numb. And then my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. So I said, ‘Oh, panic attack… nice. I’m gonna die’. And this impending feeling of doom and death and finality was just drawing so close. And I started hyperventilating, I was freaking out. I told the taxi (driver), ‘I’m going to need to go to the hospital’. I was almost out of my mind when I reached the hospital; I’d been hyperventilating the whole time. They took me into ER, did all these tests, and told me there was nothing wrong with me. I was like, ‘You’re lying, there’s no way. There’s something physically wrong, I feel like I’m going to die. I can’t breathe’. Turns out I had some pretty severe panic attacks.

“(I wanted) to find my identity, so I started spinning out track after track; it came almost like word vomit. I was throwing up all this emotional baggage I had (built) up over the years” – Jae Park

Oh wow, that’s quite a journey. Especially when you’ve never felt that way before. Your brain is telling you, ‘Oh my God, you’re gonna die’. Sometimes the wires in your brain just get crossed a bit. And there’s not necessarily anything that causes it.

Jae Park: Sometimes there’s no trigger.

A part of your job is to almost seem like you’re perfect, right? Because people idolise you. And when you have these little cracks in the armour, it’s seen as a weakness. Could you talk about how you turned this thing that could be perceived as a weakness into something good, with From Friends?

Jae Park: This actually segues perfectly into what I wanted to talk about. That’s why it’s called ‘From Friends’. The mission statement is (about) extending a helping hand to whomever, wherever there’s a need. It’s very personal and it’s from a friend. Friends are people who tell you, ‘Hey, you don’t look like you’re doing well’, or, ‘Hey, you seem a little bit off’.

I thought this was something that was going to positively affect people. When the car incident happened, I thought, ‘Damn, if only someone had told me that a panic attack can make you feel like you’re about to die, that it usually comes with impending feelings of death and doom, and you start breathing really fast’. If I’d known those things, which I’m sure that 90 per cent of celebrities have gone through, I wouldn’t have freaked out as hard as I did. And I feel like that day carved a couple of scars in me that aren’t going to be healed in the near future.

What kind of reactions did you receive after the launch?

Jae Park: I definitely received a lot of positive reactions. And it’s incredibly rewarding to be a part of this. To be completely honest, in a big corporation (the idol group Jae belongs to, Day6, is part of South Korean multinational conglomerate JYP Entertainment, which has represented some of the biggest acts in the industry), it’s not the easiest to be able to start projects like this. It’s one hand to the next hand, and the next. Then it gets rejected, all the way back down and you do it again. It wasn’t easy, but it felt good. Especially when I used to read my DMs, a lot of people were like, ‘Thank you so much, I thought it was just me’. And it’s not just you. Those are the people I want to reach. Those are the people we wanted to educate, and let them know it’s OK not to feel perfect. Your idols try to look perfect because their company told them to look perfect! But I (guarantee) you, they don’t feel perfect.

What are your personal goals for 2021?

Jae Park: So I’ve been doing these unofficial releases on YouTube, and people liked them so I thought I might as well make a video. It was purely for entertainment, just to see how people would react. And I think I had a really positive reaction and I feel like I’ve garnered some of the respect that I wanted when starting the project. I’m planning an official release sometime soon.

I think my next venture is (for) my number one (job), Day6. We’re always working on an album. I’m, like, 99 per cent sure we have a solid album for you this year.

We’ve talked about mental health, your solo projects, and Day6. Is there anything else about yourself you think the world doesn’t know, that this ‘idol’ world doesn’t capture authentically?

Jae Park: I feel like I’m pretty damn transparent, especially these days, after the ‘incident’. I’ve probably shared every opinion that I have online somewhere; they’re always a little bit controversial. I’m known as a bit of a problem child these days in the K-pop realm. Something the world doesn’t know about me? I’m not sure if there’s anything. Everyone knows I’m a dumbass and I make mistakes; I am a hypocrite (who contradicts) what I’ve said the week before, because I feel different a week later. I’m just me, I’m just a human being, and that’s just how it is.

#day6 #park jaehyung #t: interview #dazed magazine #210307

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kenkamishiro · 6 years ago

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20181116 Translation of Ishida and Takahashi’s interview with BuzzFeed Japan

It took me 3 days to translate this monster of an interview (~3.5k word count lol), but it’s finally done! My hands need a break after typing for so long...

Thank you to the interviewer Kashima Yui for asking some really great questions, and BuzzFeed JP for making this interview happen. I really enjoyed seeing Ishida and Takahashi banter back and forth, you can really tell that they’re great friends, and I’m happy to have witnessed a sliver of their relationship.

Also, I’m far from perfect, so if I’ve made a mistake or mistranslated something, please let me know.

Edit: Fixed a line from Takahashi saying, “You did it,” to “He got me.”

“I’ve always thought about quitting” - Author of Tokyo Ghoul and his sworn friend talk about their creative works and the troubles they’ve faced

Behind the scenes of Tokyo Ghoul’s final chapter, and what it means.

By Kashima Yui, BuzzFeed Staff, Japan

November 16, 2018

Over 37 million volumes of Tokyo Ghoul have been sold worldwide. During the 7 years it has taken to reach its conclusion - from the start of its serialization to July of this year - Ishida Sui has delivered an elaborately portrayed work with a profound story to the world at a tremendous speed.

This enigmatic mangaka has almost never appeared in the media, but there is a certain someone that he’s been influenced by.

That person is Takahashi Kunimitsu of österreich, who was responsible for the Tokyo Ghoul:re anime ending theme, “You of Paradise.” Ishida for some time had a phase where he would only listen to the music that Takahashi composed. “He’s the type who’ll say everything that’s on his mind,” he raves.

At the same time, Takahashi must have also been influenced in turn by Ishida, for he had stopped making music until he received a request from Ishida.

I thought that I would no longer be making music. Why am I...?

Sui-sensei lives in Fukuoka, and Takahashi-san resides in the Kanto region. How did you two first meet?

Ishida: We first met 3 years ago when I requested the opening theme “Incompetence” for the Tokyo Ghoul √A anime. I’d already received many proposals for the opening song, but I more or less shot them all down.

It was because I liked the former band the cabs that Kunimitsu-kun used to be a part of. Right around when I was drawing volume 7 of Tokyo Ghoul, I was pretty much listening to just one the cabs song, “Soldiers in February”, which might be why I’m so strongly attached to the band.

Takahashi: But by then, the cabs had already split up and I’d stopped being a musician.

Ishida: After Kunimitsu-kun took a break from being a musician, I kept an eye out on his SoundCloud (laughs).

Every now and then I’d see a new song uploaded, so I knew that he was still alive and well. Since I knew he was still making music I thought, “Couldn’t he compose music for Tokyo Ghoul too?”

I said that to the anime people about 100 times, that I wanted Takahashi Kunimitsu to make the opening. But because he couldn’t make up his mind, they turned me down 99 out of those 100 times.

Takahashi: That’s ‘cause I never got the news to begin with! Back then the manager of the office I was enrolled at suddenly said to me, “Something big’s happened.” No warning in advance.

Ishida: What do you mean I never told you, are you even hearing yourself right now? (laughs) But it really was an impossible request. Plus the fact that Kunimitsu’s band broke up and was now nonexistent.

Takahashi: I thought to myself that I’d no longer work in music, so I wasn’t willing to accept at the time.

I’d uploaded my music onto SoundCloud, but that page was just a personal space for myself rather than a place to market my music. So when I was approached about a collab I was thinking, “What are they talking about? Why me...?”

Along with the fact that I’d never read Tokyo Ghoul.

Were you scared?

Takahashi: I was terrified. It had already been 3 years since the band broke up, so I felt like I’d lost my ability to compose music. I was thinking, “What’ll happen if I can’t make it?” On top of that, that piece was on a much larger scale than anything I’d ever worked on. That made me anxious on a regular basis.

...but on the other hand, it felt like this was a sign telling me to keep playing music. I wasn’t sure if I could do it, but I thought that if I didn’t try here and now, I might not play music for the rest of my life.

I was extremely tight on schedule for “Incompetence”, the opening theme for Tokyo Ghoul √A, but at any rate I frantically worked on it in a frenzy, feeling more and more dead by the end of it. I didn’t read a single page from Tokyo Ghoul so that I wouldn’t get pulled in by it. The result...every single bad thing that had accumulated during my 3-year hiatus showed up all over the song.

Ishida: I basically like everything he composes, so when I heard the demo I thought it was pretty good. I was more than happy. But I have to admit, that song...is way too all over the place (laughs).

Takahashi: Even when I listen to it now I think it’s all over the place.

Did the two of you come to interact through the production of “Incompetence”?

Ishida: No...back then I just received the demo. After it was released, we talked about it on Skype, and that was probably our first ever conversation. After that, was it through Twitter DM or email?...I got a message from him that had an “at this time” kind of vibe, and that’s when we began talking to each other more personally.

[T/N: I’m not exactly sure what Ishida meant by “at this time”, but the word he used, “この度は” is a form of “now” that you’d use in formal/business speech, so perhaps he meant that Takahashi’s message to him felt formal.]

The extent of our conversation for several months was just exchanging texts back and forth, but one day we unexpectedly began voice chatting through Skype. And then Kunimitsu-kun declared out of nowhere, “I am light.” (laughs)

Takahashi: I was overly concerned about my own image, so I’d try to crack jokes or else I’d have a hard time making conversation.

Ishida: I thought he was acting like an extremely gloomy person because he felt like it. Back then that dark part of me was also prominent, so when I tried talking all emo I’d get told, “I’m light.” (laughs)

Takahashi: I told you, that’s just me talking a lot and making jokes.

Ishida: After that, we’d talk on Skype once every month or two. One time we talked for around 6 hours.

Takahashi: Until morning. This guy talks while he works, you know, so he can blabber on for a long time.

Ishida: Funny enough I make more progress if I have someone to talk to while I’m working.

A mangaka and a musician talking on Skype night after night

And that doesn’t reduce your ability to concentrate? Since when you’re talking over the phone there are moments where you have to think about the person you’re talking to.

Ishida: It depends on the work. There’s a term in the manga industry where you’re just moving your hands. The “usual work”, should I put it? The “usual face”, the “usual composition.” When I’m doing that kind of work, I’ll often listen to someone talk, watch TV, or listen to music.

What do you talk about?

Ishida: About creative works, among other topics. Recently we’ve been talking about death matches.

Death matches?

Ishida: A type of fiction where a group of people are forced to kill each other off, you’re guaranteed to find one in any convenience store. Because the death match is such an excellent format, it’s easy to draw and sell in any era. But if the author relies too much on that format, the story will fall apart without them even realizing it...that’s my opinion on it.

The most interesting death match is still “Battle Royale.”

Takahashi: Rigid formats will always exist in any kind of media, including in music. It’s fine if you put a story into that template for starters, that’s what a countless number of creators are aiming for.

Ishida: The format itself isn’t bad, but if you rely too much on it, it no longer becomes your own creation, and the work ends up becoming sloppy and excessive.

When you’re talking things over with each other, are you ever influenced by the other person?

Ishida: I am. Whether it’s music or manga, I realized that there are many factors that I can relate to in terms of creativity, even if I may not be an expert in those fields. When I’m talking to Kunimitsu-kun, it makes me wonder if I can connect with people working in other genres. We can have discussions without building fences between one other.

What about yourself, Takahashi-san?

Takahashi: Objectively speaking, Ishida-kun is a very successful person. In the past I would always hold feelings of inferiority towards those successful people.

But talking to him...I realized that he was a normal person. It might just be by chance that Ishida is normal, but how should I put it, we suffer in similar ways. In that sense I’ve become more open-minded and changed how I think about people running on the front lines.

...I’m a professional too, after all. Since I’m a creator, the last thing I can do is call professionals fools.

I once gave up on music. Ishida Sui has kept going.

Takahashi-san, why did you stop being a musician in the first place? I heard that just before the cabs tour you suddenly disappeared.

Takahashi: ...that’s right. I caused a lot of trouble for many people, especially the band members, so I can’t talk much about it...just that I ran away like a fool. That’s why I thought I wouldn’t be working on music anymore.

After you kept composing music in your “personal space”, you received news of a collaboration. Have your thoughts changed on this matter?

Takahashi: I suppose so. When it comes to anything concerning Ishida Sui, there are two things that have affected me the most. The first is that the act of continuing on no matter what is worth its weight in gold, and to not object to it.

Ishida: It’s a huge feat, putting things out with no regard to its shape or form. I feel it even more since I’m not working on a serialization anymore. Whoever can accomplish this is truly remarkable.

Takahashi: I’ve already given up on music once, so I’ve got some very strong feelings regarding this.

And one more...because Tokyo Ghoul really felt like it reached its conclusion, I realized that “ending things properly” and “continuing” can both be considered equally wonderful.

What do you mean by “ending things properly”?

Takahashi: You know what Ishida-kun said when we first met? “I’d like to end Tokyo Ghoul by turning it into a complete train wreck.”

Ishida: You said you’d demolish it for me (laughs).

Takahashi: But when I actually read the final chapter, it had a pretty clean ending. "He got me...” I thought.

I’ve always thought about quitting

Takahashi: I find it frustrating that I was given the right answer without feeling like I earned it. Here I am strolling on the sidewalk, and before I know it Ishida-kun’s racing down the road...that’s what it feels like. That’s what I was heavily influenced by when I was making “You of Paradise.” How valuable “ending things properly” can be.

You’ve already mentioned how important it is to keep on going, but Sui-sensei, you continued to work on your serialization for 7 years. Did you ever think about quitting?

Ishida: All the time. I underestimated how taxing manga and magazine serializations were.

Why is that?

Ishida: I wonder...I think it was only after I realized that I could rely on other people that I really began to enjoy making manga. The conclusions I came to on my own were mostly self-contained, and I no longer felt that it was fun drawing manga alone.

But I found another way after asking around. And it only took about 6.5 years (laughs).

Have you been worrying on your own until then?

Ishida: This is a personal problem, but I didn’t want to tell anyone about how the story would unfold. I also considered the editor-in-charge as a reader, so I wanted to keep it a secret. In that case, what am I supposed to discuss with the editor? I can only talk about superficial things...that’s what I did for the longest time.

And though I’d been so eager to stop, I said that I wanted to keep going a bit longer during the last half-year...which was why I kept dropping off the manuscripts late every week. It seems that the printers always had to wait until the very last minute for my manuscripts.

The final chapter of Tokyo Ghoul was meant to be a train wreck

Ishida: I’d originally planned to finish it December of last year, but I said, “I’m sorry, I need another 3 months.” I increased the extension bit by bit, and I ended up lengthening it by about 6 months.

When I told the editorial department that I’d be done in 10 chapters, they prepared the cover page of the final chapter’s issue. But right before the deadline I told them, “I’m sorry again, I need 3 more chapters…”

Takahashi: I was reading that issue of Young Jump where it was supposed to end in 10 chapters. I was completely deceived (laughs). I saw the cover and it said, “Tokyo Ghoul climax.” So I thought, “Is it finally over?” but when I read it it just kept going on.

Ishida: When I told them I needed 3 more chapters, it was too late by then. Most likely every department was under chaos then, but I hope you can sympathize with the Young Jump editorial department.

Is that the reason why Tokyo Ghoul was on the back cover of the final chapter’s issue?

Ishida: It is. Thanks to the kindness of the editor-in-chief, he suggested that Tokyo Ghoul could get a cover if it was on the back.

I often see final chapters on the front cover, but it’s kinda cool to have it on the back instead. It might even be better to have the reader see Kaneki and Touka on the back so they can read it and think, “It’s really over.” It wasn’t what I was necessarily aiming for, but thanks to the editor-in-chief’s stylistic sense it made that back cover possible.

The final chapter went from a train wreck to a happy ending. Did you have a chance to change your mind?

Ishida: Probably...once I was aware that the ending was approaching, I lost all meaning of value behind a train wreck ending. At first I thought, “Let’s shock everyone and make myself disappear,” but then I realized that I was misconstruing that as cool.

Nonetheless...the endgame had some parts that were definitely messy, but I changed them to be positive. I’m fine with it not being good, as long as it’s got some definitive answers. That happy ending is also a train wreck in its own way (laughs). I thought that that kind of train wreck would be more interesting.

Takahashi: That ending completely shocked me. “He got me,” I uttered.

Communicating, continuing, ending

How did you feel when you were asked to collaborate with Tokyo Ghoul once again for “You of Paradise”?

Takahashi: As we got to know each other, we’d inevitably talk about the anime. I couldn’t refuse when I was asked to compose the ending song when I’d been watching the course of the final chapter from up close, and been utterly deceived and shocked by it.

...but I was scared.

Why did you think that, even though you achieved it last time without any major hiccups?

Ishida: I think it’s that feeling of, “did I strike gold?” There’s a lot of luck involved when you’re extracting gold from a lode. He was able to do this naturally during the cabs era.

Takahashi: I could compose music almost as if those lodes were exposed to the open.

Ishida: When I asked him to do “You of Paradise”, I got the feeling that he was thinking, “Where can I dig from...” I think he was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to dig up that lode. Though I thought he was going to be fine.

How do you think it turned out when you tried composing it with that fear in mind? Were there any changes, compared it to “Incompetence”?

Takahashi: “Incompetence” being all over the place was because I was all over the place.

Up until now I’ve been making music and thinking that I can’t convey my ideas well. When I was in the band, I’d never really been able to express my thoughts so I gave up. I thought it was an impossible feat for me.

“Incompetence” was a song that I tossed out into the world, without any hope that I’d be able to express such a warped feeling. For a while after that song was released, I hardly ever listened to it.

But Ishida-kun and my friends who are still playing in bands...I’ve watched them keep on going or reach a proper end no matter how many years passed by. They’re doing it right.

I came to the conclusion that it was dishonest of me to give up on expressing myself from the beginning when the people around me have been working hard and doing their best.

Sui-sensei, have you ever thought that you couldn’t convey something when drawing your manga?

Ishida: I definitely have.

Takahashi: Sounds like you’ve given up.

Ishida: Maybe, since I have to draw every week. If I don’t follow a set routine then I become overwhelmed very quickly. This means that I’m working on one panel at a time, but I can’t convey my ideas well that way.

And it’s not the reader’s fault, it might just be that I’m not good enough. I couldn’t figure it out no matter how much I thought about it, so I gave up on the issue of not being able to properly convey my ideas.

To be honest, I don’t really feel anything from people reading my stuff. I can’t physically see you reading the manga, and I can’t gauge how you really feel about it by asking how many copies you have. It’s to the point where sometimes I’ll notice someone reading it at a convenience store and think, “I finally found someone.” It makes me think that being a mangaka is a lonely profession.

Takahashi-san, did you compose “You of Paradise” after reading the final chapter this time?

Takahashi: I read it this time (laughs). At first, the song I was using for the ending before “You of Paradise” was some ridiculously abstruse piece. After I sent it to Ishida-kun, he told me, “To be honest, it’s got the things that I want to express and it’s packed with lots of stuff, but I want you to compose a really simple piece that anyone can listen to and enjoy.” And so it got rebuilt and that’s the song you see today (laughs).

First, face what you’re trying to convey. Don’t whine about how you can’t convey your ideas if you haven’t tried in the first place. That’s what I thought. If you start thinking, “I can’t do it in the first place,” you’re running away. Take that first step. It feels like I can now pursue universal virtues.

Ishida: It’s a challenge, huh.

Takahashi: I’ve thought about just giving up in defeat. When I first saw that the final chapter that Ishida-kun wanted to make a wreck of had turned into a beautiful and happy ending...he seemed to have chosen to end it by having it speak to people universally. I was shocked by it, and the desire to go along with it bloomed in me. If Tokyo Ghoul can have that kind of ending, then I can make the music to match it.

You seem to have changed a lot as a person over the last 3 years.

Takahashi: I had a musical spirit who would always whisper in my ear, “You’re that kind of human being, aren’t you?” When it disappeared after having stuck around since my band days, I kept my distance from it. But I feel refreshed now since I think I should finally put an end to my issues.

Ishida: “You of Paradise” is the only song appropriate for that kind of ending. No other song can work.

After a 2 hour interview, Ishida and Takahashi vanished into the streets of Shibuya to go watch a live performance of cinema staff, to which Iida Mizuki, the guest vocalist for “You of Paradise”, is a member of.

As an aside, the name of the cabs live tour that was never realized after Takahashi suddenly disappeared, was called “You of Paradise.”

END OF THE INTERVIEW.

Translator notes:

I think I need to clarify on what I mean by ‘train wreck’. When I say it, it refers to something in ruins, complete shambles, destroyed. Essentially a tragic ending, akin to chapter 143 of :re, so Ishida was thinking about having TG end in tragedy. I chose to use the term ‘train wreck’ and ‘in ruins’ over ‘tragic’ because they have slightly different connotations (台無し vs. 悲劇). It’s the reason why I would consider TG chapter 140 (when Kaneki ‘dies’ to Arima in V14, looks like an end to a classic tragedy play) as tragic ( 悲劇) and TG:re chapter 143 (when Kaneki loses to Juuzou and Hanbee and shit hits the fan for everyone) as 台無し (train wreck/ruined).

#Tokyo Ghoul #Tokyo Ghoul:re #Ishida Sui #Takahashi Kunimitsu #osterreich #Interview #Translations #my translations

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womenofcolor15 · 5 years ago

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Apparently, Black Men Are In Jodie Turner-Smith’s DMs Calling Her A ‘Bed Wench’

Right after news broke that Queen & Slim actress Jodie Turner-Smith married actor Joshua Jackson (who is white), black men have allegedly been flooding her DMs with the ultimate disrespect. More inside…

Just a few days ago, reports were released that Queen & Slim actress Jodie Turner-Smith had tied the knot with "When They See Us" star Joshua Jackson. It’s also reported they’re expecting their first child together.

While some people have been showering the 33-year-old actress with congratulatory messages, others – in particular black men – have been flooding her direct messages with HATE. She hopped on Twitter to reveal she has been getting messages from black men and they have been busy calling her everything but a child of God, including a “bed wench.”

”Hey Siri, what is a “bed wench” and why are there bm in my dm’s calling me that?” she captioned a “U Mad?” gif on Twitter.

If you didn’t know, “bed wench” is a derogatory term used for black women who date white men. It goes back to slavery times. These days, people call black women who choose to be with white men “bed wenches,” which there really isn't a comparison based on history. During slavery, "bed wenches" were female slaves FORECED to sleep with their slave masters. There's a huge difference there.

Here’s a good definition of the word as well:

"Bed wench" is a form of gendered abuse leveled at Black women by Black men. It's used to control and attack BW sexuality that isn't subservient to BM. It's also highly ironic considering dating rates among BW & BM. BW u have dun ENOUGH for the revolution 2020 is about self care https://t.co/Jl5a9AFAZ9

— Shantal Otchere (@shantalotch) December 23, 2019

What’s crazy is the fact that when a black man marries a white woman (or non-black woman), black men don’t even flinch. And if a black woman comments on their interracial coupling, she’s quickly labeled as a “bitter” woman. Let a black woman find her soul mate in a white man and she’s all types of derogatory terms. Hmph.

Twitter has been reacting to Jodie’s post with opinions from both sides:

I have been called a bed wench for the simple fact that I support black women finding love and happiness wherever they find it. These men are really sick and depraved. I’m sorry this happened to you. https://t.co/bCvQA7QtsZ

— (@SassyandGeeky) December 23, 2019

I wish BM would stop using the term bed wench. BW during slavery had no choice and were raped. To make up a term about a person who was forced into sexual acts is disrespectful asf.

— DarkGoddess (@DarkGoddessEve) December 23, 2019

Exactly. I don't understand all the vitriol. I despise hearing a black woman be called a bedwench. This woman is not an enslaved person. She is not her partner's property. She chose to date and marry this man out of her own volition.

— Ms. Albatross (@MarshaCake) December 23, 2019

A bedwench ma'am is a self hating woman who sleeps with white people to feel empowered. After reading your tweets I would have to agree that you are in with bedwenches. No one is mad. FBA call bedwenches out daily. We are on code ma'am. Have a good day.

— alee209 (@AlphaLee209) December 23, 2019

Wait... Black men really flooded this Black woman’s DMs calling her a bed wench just because her husband and father of her child is a white man? Like yall even had a chance with her lmao? Y’all are pathetic https://t.co/ZgJotJhmrm

— W.E.B. DuBarnes (@DrTGIF) December 22, 2019

Women of color calling Jodie Turner Smith a bed wench because her husband is white are the lowest and most RACIST pieces of shit. I said what I said. Don’t claim that you want acceptance and unity and then go put one of your own down because she has a white husband. Hypocrites.

— Jillian Galvin (@jillianamandaa) December 23, 2019

SO YALL BLACK MEN IN JODIE TURNER SMITH DM CALLING HER A BEDWENCH BC SHE MARRIED TO A WHITE MAN BUT WHEN YALL MARRY WHITE WOMEN ITS OK? GTF

— (@darealmissblaze) December 23, 2019

You can be indifferent to IR relationships WITHOUT calling black women “bedwenches”.

A bedwench is a black slave woman who was being R@PED by her white slave master. That’s INVOLUNTARY. A black woman CHOOSING to date/marry a white man is VOLUNTARY. Saying this proves u hate BW

— The Black Anti-Hero (@RJTheRenegade) December 22, 2019

A bedwench Is YOU. No need to look up the definition https://t.co/nyZr0WeA6X

— KassDRE (@RyanDre13) December 23, 2019

Whew, chile! The narcissism is nauseating. Thoughts?

Photos: Getty/MEGA

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2019/12/23/apparently-black-men-are-in-jodie-turner-smith%E2%80%99s-dms-calling-her-a-%E2%80%98bed-wench%E2%80%99

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