#so when ppl are being dismissive of it i just… idk i get a bit disheartened

[pisceanskies]

*bursts into tears* jorge rivera herrans is a brilliant songwriter one day you guys will understand!!!!!!

[quenthel]

There is so much discussion rn Abt romances in Avowed n how in pillars the romances were bad and RPGs need romances yadda yadda and honestly it's kind of crazy...

Like saying that they are going to lose out on players is probably not true bc if you are a type of player who plays RPGs for the romances then I don't think you are or ever were the target audience for this kind of rpg or pillars of eternity to begin with. Like ik sorry if this sucks to hear but pillars was always a story more focused on an old-school type adventure where you find out the secrets of the world while also being a game that builds upon this rpg legacy and tries to improve on the general ideas while at it.

Tbh to me it's a bit strange ppl are either like UGH I won't play this trash bc no romances!!! Vs. UGH you can just make up headcanons Abt romancing npcs like ok I suppose you can do this but why not just let a story speak for itself once it releases and why not interact with the narrative and setting.... Like pillars has a crunchy and rich fantasy setting you can get lost in imo and the writing of previous games was very good and ambitious. These games do interesting stuff with the basic fantasy premises and tell relatively focused stories about a couple of intertwined themes.

I think it's telling of the current social climate around RPGs (on Tumblr) that romances are dominating the discussion this heavily. And before you I get accused if anything no it's not "bad" to like romances. Romantasy especially is an incredibly popular genre of fiction. And it's popular for a reason.

But like what's weird to me is how so many ppl just very loudly dismissing a game that looks good so far just bc of no romances. It's like do you critique other games like this too? Do you want like idk Balatro to have romances in it too?

Personally I'm glad there are no romances. And it's not bc i don't like rpg romances (I do love them) or bc i think the romance of deadfire were lackluster (they were fine and fit the vibe of the game). Im glad bc that means the ppl who made this thing probably focused on the things they actually wanted to make and hopefully were passionate about. Playing games where you can feel that passion and which are not just churned out to be popular for popularity's (and money's!!) sake to me always feel more impactful and charming like that's the "good stuff".

Ofc Avowed is super fucking expensive even shockingly so. I can only hope some of that money goes to obsidian and not all of it gets drained into the pockets of EA. I also hope that the same kind of passion n ambitious writing we can see in pillars 1 & deadfire will be still here, but I won't speculate (yet) since I haven't seen the game (since it's not out). I think tempering your expectations about a game is a smart thing to do IG lol.

To be fair the marketing of this game is a mess already. And the pillars games were never rly super popular to begin with so ik a lot of ppl are confused and might be getting the wrong idea. Also we are off of the back of bg3, which was a game strategically focused on romances and characters even when it made the overall narrative suffer. It was also very popular (and a good game!) so it gave a lot of ppl (esp ppl who did not particularly played a lot of RPGs or video games in general) the idea that THIS is the "blueprint" for an rpg. But the thing is it is not.

Honestly I just don't rly get the scorn for this game lol. Idk. Temper your expectations and if a game is not for you then you can just say that n move on. Ofc it's good to be critical (I'm a hater too I get it) but idk msging random ppl who are excited Abt avowed about how you think this game will suck ass is perhaps a bit too much.

[glossypolaroidkisses]

hi my love!! im excited to see what ur blog will contain hehe omg im so ecstatic that u commented that ur interested in the whole right brained reader thing hehe i js want to know ur thoughts on the relationship dynamic of having a more humanitarian reader who likes english, arts everything that's quite opposite to what luigi is like!!

hihi!! omg I’m SO excited too!! i already feel so welcomed!! ok this is so fun, buckle in!! bear with me!!

since luigi seems to be so analytical and anal with his thought processes (like you mentioned), i can see him pre-relationship being a bit skeptical while getting to know you; just because that’s not how his brain works. at the start he’d ask you so many questions. you’d have so many conversations that would give him better insight into your mind, to make sure you’re not just in la la land all the time. it’s giving, waiting for 3rd or 4th date to talk politics?… no. 1st date we’re talking about thoughts on religion, the afterlife, etc.

also, that’s not an insult to right brained/artistic ppl, I’m one of them (if you couldn’t tell lol)! i’ve been perceived as dumb(er than others) because I’m so driven by creativity, english and the arts (NOT scientific or mathematical at all). It's only once someone gets to know me better, that they learn how intelligent I am. right brain thinkers are more likely to be dismissed or overlooked, imo!

someone like luigi may not have been too surrounded by many right brain thinkers let alone dated them, and he would be so curious about what goes on in your mind.

obviously, you do develop a relationship and the dynamic would be adorable. you balance each other out! there may be some minor situations and misunderstandings where his strict, logical, rational self isn’t sure where you’re coming from; but he always listens to you explain your POV, and does come around to understand it. he’s very open minded, esp when it comes to you!

he loves your brain. i mean, he’s so fascinated by it. you find art, beauty, creativity and meaning in things that he could’ve never perceived in such a way. both of your brains work in different ways that are both so important.

whether you come to him about a situation all pouty, or do the opposite, acting stubborn and silent about it until he picks up on your mood shift, coming over to help you.. he’ll have a solution. he’d drop anything to brainstorm a way to help you solve your problems. for luigi, because of his logical problem solving, the solution is usually simple for him to come up with. but then you’re standing there with stars in your eyes like ‘wow luigi😍❤️ i would’ve never come up with that🤩 thank you so much😩’ and he’s just there, giddy, bc you make him feel so smart and useful. he’s so happy when he can help you in any way.

there will probably be a lot of funny moments trying to make decisions together. you might want to decide based on gut feeling, or your emotions, but he’ll be so analytical; thinking of every detail. for example, buying furniture together. you might be like “omg! this couch is such a cute colour, matches the vibe of our apartment and it feels so soft!” and luigi would be like “uhm… yeah! cute! but… (pulls out tape measure) it isn’t the correct dimensions, the fabric isn’t stain resistant, the cushion covers aren’t removable, and it isn’t well reviewed online….😅🥸”

if he’s not with you, he’ll take photos of things he sees while out-and-about, maybe exploring, and send them to you. or!!! when he comes home, he’ll be all excited to show you stuff he took pictures of, wondering what your perspective on it would be, how you would interpret it. he’ll go through the pictures with you and just listen to you gush over something artsy or interpretive, like if he saw graffiti he thought you’d find cool, a quote from a book or painting at a museum. idk!

if he goes book shopping for his own yk NON fiction books, he’ll always come back with a book or two for you. he’ll get home, probably make some sort of joke like “i just chose the book that had the most colourful cover”, when in reality he spent time at the bookstore looking through the books, reading so many back covers to choose one that he knows you’ll genuinely enjoy. or, he’ll just buy a book he remembers you mentioning you wanted in passing. even if he wouldn’t enjoy reading it, he enjoys knowing it brings you joy. and if you talk to him about a book you’re reading/read, he’ll listen as if it’s his favourite genre.

me personally, idk if it’s the eldest daughter in me, but i LOVE being taken care of + i think he’d enjoy feeling helpful. like if i was drawing on an app on my ipad and it crashed or something, i’d go running to him for help.. with anything technology related (even if i had an idea of how i could fix it myself) like heyyy my lil compsci problem solver.. help pls😇

overall, i think this dynamic is so sweet as long as you can both embrace each others differences and find that harmony. he would add more structure to your life while appreciating your perspective, and you’d add more spontaneity, empathy & creativity to his!

also idk if i touched enough on this, but this dynamic is literally a humanitarian power couple. like fighting for what’s right, with his brain and your heart!! best of both worlds for a well rounded perspective!! mwhahaha

thank you so much for submitting that! oh my god that was so much fun I’m not insane i promise (maybe a lil hehehe) it is literally 7 am i am going to sleep now. i just started responding to that ask and couldn’t stop. aaa love it!!

i hope you liked it!! don’t be afraid to give feedback, anyone! i loooovee requests like these!! keep em coming!! mwah

[charmac]

than copy-paste my ask w/out the stuff about his acting bc the rest of the stuff i said is still completly valid. i don't get why stans refuse to even admit that their fav is some times a bad person and call them out on their bullshit. you can still like him without ignoring or excusing his shitty behavoir

"not trying to start anything i really want to hear your and other ppls opinions. after seeing that redit video today abt the onset fight combined with other stuff glenn has said and done like the antivax stuff. im starting to really dislike glenn. he acts like a self obsessed tool all the time but so many stans baby him so much that they refuse to see or say anything about it [deleted] but maybe you or others have reasons to stan him pls share bc im clearly missing somthing. i dont want to not like him but hes making it very hard"

(the Reddit video being Rob talking about how Glenn freaked out during the filming of The Gang Saves the Day because he didn't feel comfortable getting "shot" in the scene with Dee killing all of them and threw a tantrum on set)

First of all, I don't think anyone refuses to admit Glenn is anything but perfect, and I also don't think anyone excuses his "shitty behaviour," but while you only may have just become aware of this moment, it was first brought to light in 2017, right before Glenn left the show "for good" and has kinda been hashed to death. If you're genuinely asking 'why is no one talking about Glenn's temper tantrums from 8+ years ago,' idk how to answer that question other than: why would we be? It's just not relevant

We know, from set stories and Glenn himself, that Glenn has gone through many ups and downs on the set of Sunny. He's spoken quite a bit about how his attitude has ruined the vibe and created a lot of tension in the writers room and on set before, and it's something he needed Rob to bring to his attention in Season 11 because he couldn't recognise it harmed other people (and that's what led him to realise he needed to walk away). I think it's not, like, a hidden or dismissed aspect of his personality that he's a diva, even today after righting his attitude and returning, he still tends to "method act" to a degree when he's playing Dennis and comes off a certain way

So yes, he's been "exposed" as a brat on set and a little entitled in general, and he's got some questionable views on health, for sure and I think that can make you dislike him and if that's so...that's fine. I don't think anyone in this fandom cares if you do or don't, honestly, but that works both ways.

People who post about Glenn in fond ways aren't going to disclose that they know he's entitled and centrist every time they post anything about him, but whenever something does happen/come out, people do criticise it in the moment. The Podcast brought a lot to light and it seemed like weekly we were scrutinizing something RCG said but, like, there's genuinely nothing Glenn has done in the past year that the fandom has chosen to ignore for the sake of excusing his shitty behaviour...? Are we supposed to rehash dead and buried RCG drama just because it was reposted to a different platform?

I get if you're just learning about him as a person now it can be weird to see most people who are actively talking about him seem to just be stanning him blindly, but that's really not true. The TASP days are just behind us, and Glenn's PR is very strong with his gay whiskey tour front and center (and you're asking me lol).

As to providing you with reasons for stanning him... just search "Glenn Howerton Interview" on Youtube.. or watch this one .. and if you don't get it, you probably just don't like him and that's fine, lol he'll probably get you eventually if you're around long enough

[bitchin-tubs]

Complain time again tee hee but I’m just like UGHHHH talking genuinely to these ppl is SO hardddddd

With girl A, I spent almost a whole class lecture (friendly) debating with this one girl on why people medically diagnosed as psychopaths and sociopaths are not inherently dangerous, are not narcissistic by default and how ‘masking’ is not a form a manipulation. Her source for all of these… You. The Netflix show…

With girl B, I feel like she’s sooooo,,,, dismissive ?? Idk like I tried to introduce her to my friends once and she genuinely did not gaf. Like I said hi B this is C then she says hi to me and me only. Like my girl C is right here. But at the same time she’s always bringing me into her friend groups which is fine but I dont connect easily so most times I’m kinda just there SPECIALLY if it’s an all men group when I have specially told her I tend to be uncomfortable with men for “no” reason

I was having a conversation with girl A and the topic of autism was brought up, I told her that I think I may be low on the spectrum but there are some things I tend to relate to with autism behaviors, and considering opened up to me about her anxiety and how she had previously talked very openly abt diagnosis I thought maybe she’d get it. I know,,, self diagnosis (u are free to feel any type of way abt it) but idk I thought she’d have any type of nuanced comment about it but I should’ve known from the psychopath talk… I had told her that I find meeting new people very hard, I have difficulty talking to said people and I tend to be very restrictive about who I make a meaningful connection to. She said that my personality is and I quote “mamona” (jerk/snob/asshole ish) and completely dismissed my masking, overstimulation, 10 year old special interest, taking shit to literal and not understanding social cues or instructions as “just being different” yeah so I thought… yknow I might not have autism valid but idk I felt so ignored at that moment

Also don’t think I just unpack shit on her unannounced, we talk and convos play out as they usually do and since the topic was out I was like sometimes I wonder if I have it because of so and so plus she was unwinded with me before so it wasn’t impossible for us to talk abt personal stuff, even though we not so tight we are still close

Another thing I’m very bad at making friends, I think I mirror good enough to have nice interactions with people but not to the point they invite me to shit or talk to me outside of classes. Back when I was in my exchange program I was sharing a room with 3 swifties so I had to pretend to like Taylor swift so I wouldn’t feel singled out, I also watched the summer I turned pretty and witnessed these girls thirst over bad boy #2 when I thought the character was so shitty (the actor is good looking but I’m not attracted to him) and also would also unknowingly spend all-nighters on school nights (as in I didn’t know they were meant to be all-nighters) with them watching a movie I didn’t particularly like and see everyone thirsting over annoying man on screen (one of them was some straight outta wattpad step-sibling story ew, the other pride and prejudice IM SORRY YALL I DIDNT GET THE HYPE 😭 call me uncultured it’s okay

A and B are sólo also hardcore swifties and I can only be neutral abt her otherwise they get on my ass about it and saying I like Taylor swift or her music is too big of a lie even for me

I told girl A about this (or at least a bit) and she said that I should’ve just been me. Girl I can’t be me we were both witnessing a girl being actively bullied (tv show ass bullying they printed a picture of her and drew over it ugly, taped it to her dorm room. Still hurtful and bullying tho) I’m NOT about to ostracize myself

HOWEVERRR these are not my main friends, these are like the friends I made to not be lonely in these extra classes for an American 🦅🦅🦅 diploma. My close CLOSE friends are from my same career classes and they are so much more understanding and can interact more naturally with. So in my day to day I got good genuine friends by my side

I recognize that I can be perceiving these memories differently than how they actually happened, misinterpret their actions and just be in my feeling right now but idk I feel like I’m so difficult and constantly just have to comply with people in order to make others comfortable

[gold-rhine]

zhongchi, zhongven and zhongxiao (yeah I like zhongli lol)

i do not get zhongli\childe, like i was paying attention to them when i was replaying liyue and they literally barely look at each other during archon quest. like childe is dismissive about zhongli bc he's just an excuse to get close to funeral procedures and learn where gnosis is, and zhongli stands there just monologuing about quality of rocks. i don't know what the chemistry is supposed to be. mb if childe actually started being sus about zhongli's identity it would've given some interesting tension, but he didn't. idk. if this ship of two ppl not interacting qualifies for fin dom, then send me money, i can talk about rocks for a bit and then never interact with u again

zhongli and venti were kinda cute last year, ngl! like i don't see, idk a lot of burning passion or smth, but they have a very comfy dynamic where they know each other for so long and they share history of things that others who lived it are not alive anymore. two old geezers, just vibing in retirement, smoking weed and drinking osmanthus wine, doing little pranks on each other for fun. they should get together and invite cloud retainer just to get on her nerves. they can go hang out with humans and clown on them for enrichment too.

for zhongli and xiao idk, i mostly see them in family dynamic. esp bc hoyo is going hard for xiao\traveler and there we can see xiao acting smitten and flustered, and its v different from how he acts around zhongli.

[bogbees]

I was gonna go to bed but I think I came up with a soulmate au perfect for Matt n Gil 7:48 AM · Apr 20, 2020

so it goes like this: when you touch somebody, their mark appears in your palm. there's several placements you can have, like for family bonds (mother's will generally always be the first bond a person has), friendship, love, probably hatred idk

over time, when a person dies or the bond fades, the mark scars, becoming the abstract background for new relationships you make

so Matt n Gil are pretty much immortal in canon. not so much Gil anymore, but he's been around a long time, so his palms are probably scared to fuck with marks —

everywhere but the love area. sure, some friendships skittered around the area, but while he might hate soulmates with his old age, he's stupid ab the idea of true love.

it's kinda fucked him up a bit in the modern era lmao. been alive so long and yet here he is

so canon au would have Matt touch Gilbert first. he doesn't know who owns this mark, bc he doesn't pay attention, so he thinks it's some mortal and he's kinda sad ab it, bc it's big, at the very centre of his palm and those are like, Best Kind, but c'est la vie

(while Gilbert has been having the opposite problem, mortals finding their love in him lmao)

while Matt and Gil have no idea the other exists (well ish. Francis probably goes off ab the other to them all the time), Matt discovers love in mortals to patch up the horrid fact he never even got to meet The One. a couple marks scar a ring around his centre mark

until one day in like, the 60s, he notices "yo this never scarred. it's always been solid" and goes maniac with glee and relief and a weird sense of wasted mourning

Al finds it funny that no one picked up on that fact all this time. bc their family all has solid centre marks and their friend family marks are still pretty solid

some of Matt's lovers picked up on it, but he dismissed it as "I don't know who they are" and it's dismissed and they better make the best of what they have

Francis tells Gilbert ab the delightful news "oh Matieu never lost his soulmate after all!! he's immortal!" and Gilbert is like pained smile grumble "oh good for him!" while painfully recalling every conversation Francis had ab Matt's current so

he figures it makes sense but good god

they can't figure out who the fuck out of their entire group is Matt's so. Francis wants to hold an event bc he's dying to know, but Matt's like, "I thought they were dead for 500 years, I'm cool to find out naturally."

Arthur casts a divination after and he n Francis go nuts once they learn the truth of the matter. Francis drinks so much he needs his stomach pumped. Gilbert calls him, and just hearing his voice, Francis gets into a giggle fit, they don't talk for like, 4 years

over the next 40 years, Matt n Gil will Wonder ab the whole soulmate thing. Matt bc he can't imagine who it could be, and Gil bc he's like, sad he himself doesn't even have that clue that they're even out there

they properly meet in 2009, the whole pancake and maple syrup thing, but no one touches. they form a bond of course, mutual understanding of loneliness, turns out they're like two peas in a pod

Francis has no idea they even became friends until 2016. he peaks at the palms of their hands, and is delighted to see Gilbert's centre is finally marked

and it's not for another ten years that they realise they're each other's soul mate 😔 7:48 AM · Apr 20, 2020

actually that's a dumb ending, bc I was falling asleep 5:09 PM · Apr 20, 2020

new ending: Gilbert always touches the ppl he likes. pulls them in for hugs, slaps on the back, drags them off to do things. the first time he crashes at Matt's bc he thinks they're best buds, he slaps Matt across the back for being a goof

he is of course surprised by how solid Matt is, and wow his hand actually hurts, so he rubs at it and notices the mark. he short circuits.

Matt is like "dude you didn't break your hand did you? sorry oh my god lemme go get the first aid kit for a splint til we get to the hospital ah fuck"

and Gil is like "no no no I'm fine! don't worry about it! hah hah hah I'm gonna go nap I'm actually pretty tired, jet lag"

Matt thinks it's weird bc he was just do animated a moment ago, but shrugs it off, can't be too bad right?

only Gilbert doesn't pop up for dinner. doesn't come out of his room at all. matt's like "damn he must have been real tired," leaves him a note saying he's got leftovers in the fridge

but Gilbert is just going insane. the note didn't help bc it implies smth surely.

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. so the dude Matt thought was dead for the last 500 years was him??? if they interacted back then, why didn't Gil touch him??? what the fuck Happened

Gil frantically texts everyone he knows. Liz, Antonio, Al, they all just congratulate him. His brother gives him a five paragraph lecture on being nice. Feli sends him a bunch of cute ideas on how to tell Matt. Roderick has him blocked.

Francis. Francis grins like a loon the moment he sees the text and calls Matt "mon garçon," he starts, "your heart is closer than you think" and Matt, tired of this old man's cryptic romantic bullshit hangs up sighing heavily

Al visits too. now he knows and he wants to play wingman. that's his brother damn it. so starts the most horrible wingman stunt. everyone is so uncomfortable. when it doesn't work, Al goes to sulk in his guest bedroom

"that was weird even for him" Matt laments. Gilbert, knowing full well what brought it on just cringes. how the fuck did ppl do this whole thing??

Matthew isn't like. bothered? at first he was curious to know if Gil got a mark for him, but after seeing he didn't get any new ones, he was resigned to their friendship not meaning anything. sure he had hoped but ugh, best not to think about it

and Gilbert is freaking out like "why isn't he questioning if they have each other's marks??" he knows ppl do that, he's done it himself! god knows they've been stuck to each other's hip this last month so why?!

so he decides to just ask. "hey did you get my mark?" "oh no, I never got it." and he fuckinh blanks.

then Matt brings up his hand, showing Gil his palm, and there in the dead centre is Gil's mark surrounded by a ring of love. "see," Matt says, "it's the same as when we first met."

Gil had seen Matt's palms a couple times before the revelation. he didn't think seeing it now would affect him much but boy, he's gone brain dead

Gilbert raises his own palm, "mine isn't," and he knows Matt knows he's never had a mark in the dead centre. but there's one now.

"oh," Matt goes, thinking ab all the ppl he and Gil have met over the month, "congratulations, I suppose we'll have to find out who it is…"

which makes Gil go crazy, "no, no, no, how did you—no, Matthew it's you." Matt stares at him like "are you off your rocker?" and Gil recounts the event that gave him the mark, and telling everyone asking for help and how Francis was no help at all

and Matt's like "Yo! Francis called me that evening, saying how my heart was closer than I thought. I thought that he was just drunk, but if…. Tabarnak!" pacing around the room suddenly speaking quick french

there are tears suddenly but he's not wailing, instead smiling wildly, "I thought you were dead!" and Gilbert grins back "I thought you didn't even exist!"

(and idk ab you but this last bit gets me grinning wildly bc Gilbert Will Die, and Matt is usually forgotten to the point he can go ghost. he he he)

so they like. just exist with each other being stupid ab how stupid it all is 8:05 PM · Apr 20, 2020

[koscheicore]

Rant about invisible illnesses, people's asshole behaviours, professional erasure, ableism etcetc + a bit of personal stuff

Yesterday I kind of... started crying bcs I was reading on fibromyalgia. I have read about it before several times, not only because it's plausible I could have that - or something with similar symptoms - but also because I just like to read on these things, and how people experience them.

However, what got me crying wasn't really the possibility of having it, the lack of explanation so far for my pain, but rather how many people affirm they don't get proper care for it, how many professionals believe it's not even real, how their pain is erased because it's not visible. How they're told they're too young to be feeling it, if they are young, and that's it, often refusing to look for any causes it's a years long battle to even get minimal help for it and then, when the pain gets unbearable it's not enough for the ER. People with fibro, and many other invisible illnesses, are thrown under the bus constantly. And it fucking sucks.

Today I talked about it a bit, and how idk where my pain stems from, and someone decided to tell me that they've heard fibro isn't even real. To all I said abt my pain, that's what they said.

Idk if I have it, but I don't need to have it, to have felt a deep sting as they said that. How I remember also how ppl irl around me genuinely believed widely that ADHD wasn't real in the early 2000s, too. And would tell that to people with a diagnosis even, upon learning they had it. What's the need? What do they get out of that? They read it somewhere and felt the need to say it, without any further research? Idk. Shit like this really hurts, even if it's something I'm not affected by or have the possibility to be, it really fucking hurts, because that's how people end up not having appropriate help and going through constant living hell.

It's definitely hurt me more to not be believed about my mental illnesses than to live with them. To try to reach out just to be dismissed, by friends I trusted, by family members, and fucking hell, by professional after professional. When people listen, and try to understand, even if they don't know how to support you, that's important, that helps. And that's when I started managing better, when people listened. Doesn't mean my issues got better, just that I was more willing to take care of myself, to try and get better or at least make things easier for myself.

Telling someone it's not real, that's just helping them blame themselves, think it's their fault, internalise self-hatred and feelings of worthlessness because well, if it's not real they shouldn't be struggling yeah? They shouldn't be complaining, they don't deserve help because it doesn't exist in the right place, yeah? That's what you're implying when you say it's not real. That's how you deter people from seeking help, even self-help if professional help isn't available (or they don't want to give it to you because let's face it. often they don't.)

And that's also why it's taken me so long to say anything about my pain to doctors, because well, I have been told I'm too young, too. And I'm tired. I'm not a good advocate to myself when it comes to getting help, because I'm just used to being dismissed, and it's tiring to fight, it's easier to swallow it up and keep living in the same struggle than to try to get help only to end up crying because you won't get it bcs incompetent so-called professionals. To lose friendships because of it too.

Idk. Just kinda had to get that out, I guess. Anyways, I have medical tests this month, so let's see how that goes.

[minipisi-is-dumb]

man I FINALLY WATCHED BARBIE LET'S GOOOOO

I liked it a lot and it was very very funny

Ken was one of my favorite parts too he's very funny and relatable

I need to get this lil rant out of my chest sorry lol

Idk how to explain this in WORDS but it feels just how it is to be transmasc and fall into sexist circles even when you know how marginalization feels because of that same system

like it's a very simple story but there's like a semi running joke that kens in barbieland are treated like women/femme ppl irl. and ken finds himself sticking out from that formula even before barbie, there's a sort of performance in his "pre-work" ken to adjust to what it means to Be ken

like he "accepts" that he's nothing without barbie but it's all conscious, like it's something he found out and mimics consciously even when no other ken ever showed those feelings of insecurity and feeling left to a side or as an accessory to barbie like it's an active role they have to put effort in

Kens are the archetype of Ken by default while OUR ken has to put double effort in everything just to even reach that level that is expected from him. even with that performance going as far as to affect how he interacts with barbie, looking out for her approval and all that stuff. there's a level of performance in it that other kens do not need to go through

so when he gets to the real world and finds that he is seen in a better light that barbie for just being himself, he finds that the way to drown his insecurities with patriarchal thinking, he believes that THAT way he won't have to keep up the "&ken" performance that the barbie world imposes

but he finds out that oops!! patriarchy inherently requires performance of masculinity!!!! you're not saved there either!!!!!!!

blablabla the rest of the movie goes on, and while I expected some joke like "but the patriarchy manual tells me crying is lame" I do like that ken recognized it or something, the dialogue in the scene between barbie and ken does feel a bit chunky but you get the general stuff of what's happening there lol

I do think that barbie went through an arc about performance too, and I generally think that the movie gives a message about the whole concept of reducing yourself to the ken or barbie//man or woman as the basis for your value as a person is not the best BUT!!!!! I do wish at least gender non conformity is recognized as something that could have had an effect in the story

the closest thing to gender non conformity is Alan and the weird barbie, but uh I don't count them bc Alan is forever dismissed as not ken but also not barbie so lol why bother and the weird barbie is eventually still seen as weird regardless of anything she's done or said or whatever

i think this is not fully coherent BUT i just got home gimme a break

the costumes and soundtrack n all that jazz was neat 10/10 would watch again just bc of how cool it looks mannn

I do think that the way the corporations are handled is truly A Way but not a good one but I really just wanted to talk abt Ken for a sec he's so fucking relatable I'm sorryyyyyyyyyyyyy

[c0rpseductor]

saw ppl discussing this book called a little life on twitter bc apparently people are making tiktoks of themselves crying about this book & looked up the synopsis and like. i mean maybe in full it’s more profound and it’s like the experience of reading it that holds a more nuanced message, but simply reading a summary of the plotline it’s a bit challenging for me to not want to dismiss it as more or less a fairly intellectualized sort of trauma porn. actually, it’s especially difficult with some of the author’s comments.

i think like. i don’t want to make any sweeping statements about a novel i have not read and will not read, but it does kind of hit on something i’ve talked about here and still turn over in my mind a lot where like. i do feel like there is a sort of appetite for trauma and a voyeuristic tendency in many people, and within fiction this can be satisfied. i also think people tend to spare a great deal of sympathy and compassion for fictional survivors of extreme trauma that they don’t really have for the same demographic in real life. (fandom is particularly bad with this, in that there’s a really pervasive hunger for extremely traumatized characters, but real life survivors who try to speak about feeling hurt by these trends and behaviors get totally pilloried and mocked.)

i think that’s honestly part of why the whole thing bothers me. the amount of trauma the protagonist of this novel went through isn’t necessarily, like, impossible. real people can often suffer a great deal. and like, he’s fictional, so he’s not hurt by people being voyeuristic toward him. but with characters like this where their sole purpose is to suffer for the audience and steadily decline until their deaths, and everybody cries and it’s so sad and profound, it’s like. Why? Who does this really help? what message is this supposed to send, exactly? people with fucked up pasts can continue to live, actually, and as part of that demographic i’m actually a little sick of people making a big show of crying over depictions of this sort of suffering and then studiously ignoring when it’s happening right in front of them and when people they know in reality are trying to cope with the very same issues. you know? like i am getting kind of fucking bitter that people pat themselves on the back about like “oh poor astarion from bg3” “poor saki from emergence (ew, btw)” “poor jude from a little life” so on and so forth but then look at real life victims of severe violence and just feel disgust and discomfort and turn away or victim blame. it’s actually pretty transparent when people’s “sympathy” is more about propping up an internal sense of virtue than about any true concern that other people are suffering.

i guess it’s good that it has a lot of positive reception from critics and is specifically stated to be “not misery porn” but idk im starting to feel like maybe my definition of that term is different than other people’s just bc i really find the voyeurism exhausting and tend to despise anything with a huge audience of really blatant voyeurs. but maybe that’s not fair to the novel. Well, whatever

[lexicorp]

Oh my Primus I love /so much/ of your points in this

Noting on the s2-3 ES Star discourse, how you explained it rlly helped me figure out why I've been so unsure about it when I found how just how feral the fandom is about it. I my opinion, all the characters still seemed /in character/ going forth after season one still. (Even if the Breakdown stuff was a bit wild, the anger ppl had at his portrayal there rlly is still them thinking of other versions or their own influencing the fact maybe we just seeing more of this ones flavor). Starscream didn't act anymore abruptly insane or something to me, he still acted very much like himself. And a decent bit of the show's plot and such was decent, I'd say I like Earthspark, flaws and all. Cuz they do still have quite a few with management, pacing, and bad guy transitioning. Cuz the main thing that threw me off going into s2 was the need for an in-between to touch on that moment of the cons working with the others and what really suddenly triggers the realization about the shards that spurs that. Like, that would have been /so/ interesting to see unfold. And I would have expected nothing less of Starscream to seek them after realizing the power they have. Both because of the perpetual distrust of stability/safety leading to that perpetual divide between the others, and his ambitious nature.

He's really good at being all nice and shit--bringing up TFP just accentuates that point! Starscream constantly tried to work with people and shit, but it was all out of survival mode and figuring out to get what he wanted/needed. I love TFP, I rewatched it a bunch, but it does indeed have its flaws just like Earthspark. My rage around how TFP Starscream was treated got rekindled SO HARD watching season 3 of RID'15... He also had ten billion chances at redemption, but something pulls him back, be it himself or others. Which sure, accurate. This shit is hard and it wouldn't be instant like you said (my slow burn af post s3 es Star redemption is a struggle with his self sabotaging aft). He doesn't rlly /have/ to be redeemed in the uwu way imo. I like him as a neutral creature tbh- but in the shows, it's those lil ways they throw shit in his face that make me be like "eugh". Or the weird shit with TFP stars Stockholm syndrome at Megs in s3 only for at the end of predacons rising to be dismissed. He wasn't allowed to have nearly as much agency. They dunked on his intelligence so much, even with how /clearly/ capable he is.

And I like how in ES Star is shown to be plenty competent, while losing his shit a bit at the end-

Its all really just so complicated to break down istg

And geez yeah, I really don't like it when ppl in the fandom try to overly lil meow meow-ify him, or just tie everything back to his trauma and Megatron. It's like ya said about the agency thing, he's his own person. Starscream himself I feel would be pissed at those interpretations (tho it's not like I hate reading those fics either - I can understand the self-indulgent nature of the quick fix. Navigating growth is hella hard.) I like a lot more to focus on the impact the trauma had and those deep rooted behaviors that resulted. Like I've often found that just focusing on them (in this case Star) as a person, as the central point, and go out from there. (That's the best way I can describe it idk djdbdjbd)

Like one of my OC's, Kyren, has gone thru just so much abhorrent shit. But he's also had a lot of good things go for him. But a lot of the time, his own deep seeded coping mechanisms are what trip him up. Sure it's a result of what he went thru, but when I take my alternative version of his same base character that dealt with a different set of stuff of lower quantity, it's still /there/. He's still who he is, even if the stressors change. Its just about recognizing the problematic natures littered in em and try to improve. Kyren would /hate/ being defined by the DR (a huge source of his trauma lore), and would rather be known for what /he/ created from it.

Sorry for the side OC rant but like--

Yeah I also hate ppl tryna be all supportive but then putting words into the mouth of victims when that shit already happens so much.

It reminds me of when my brother wrote a story about su!cide lore, and someone told him that he portrayed it wrong, when like, he is/was the demographic dammit so like???

Thank you for your Ted Talk and hopefully my wack contribution made sense

The fandom's portrayal of Starscream's abuse (A rant from an abuse victim's perspective)

To preface this, I am NOT saying that every abuse victim thinks like me or that Starscream is the "perfect" potrayal of abuse or anything like that. Nor is this directed to anyone in particular and it's definitely not a hate message or anything towards anyone who thinks differently. This is my personal opinions on the view as a victim of abuse myself and as someone who deeply relates to Starscream (especially es!starscream) on a personal level.

Now, if you're in the Transformers fandom and especially if you're a Starscream fan, you may have seen a lot of other Starscream fans opinions on Starscream—particularly in the way of how Earthspark handled him—and have seen many people discuss his trauma.

From what I've seen, many people (especially in fics) tend to potray Starscream as this "Perfect Victim" that does no wrong. And this, obviously, is a very harmful sentiment because there is no such thing as a perfect victim. People react and are affected by trauma and abuse in different ways and as someone who people would call the exact opposite of a "perfect victim", Starscream is NOTHING like the way the fandom tends to potray him.

Starscream is more often than not potrayed as a cowardly, selfish, and egoistical individual who does terrible things for his own benefits. NOTHING about that screams "poor little meow meow" to me and honestly? I like him better this way, especially in the case of Earthspark, because in my experiences, that's how my trauma shaped me.

I (unfortunately) used to be one of the people wary of Earthspark due to the loud critiques of Starscream's character in s2 and so I stayed away from the show believing it to be a terrible exmaple of how abuse can affect someone (don't hate me lol! I was an idiot). But that was until I did a little digging myself and I realised... He's literally just me???

Now I'm not saying what he does is right or that I do EVERYTHING that he does. But I think some es!starscream fans have a little skewed perception on what a "Redemption Arc" truly is. As well as what an abuse victim should be. We cannot generalise all victims as "Sympathetic innocent souls" or "Unsympathetic corrupt individuals who deserve what happened to them" because... trauma is so much more complex than that.

In my case, abuse made me violent (not towards innocent people but towards my own abusers) and selfish and at times cowardly. It's not due to an innate desire to harm others and an inherent evil within me but because I was a scared child who didn't know how to protect myself other than mimicking the people around me.

To insinuate that es!starscream did the things he did in s2 because the writers were trying to convey that he's inherently evil due to his trauma (despite that, to my knowledge, nothing in the show implies such a thing) can be a harmful thought because.. 1. It's taking agency away from his character and tying him down to his abuser and 2. Trauma can influence people to do bad things but that doesn't mean there isn't a level of accountability and agency when they do. To villainise that fact just because you want a character you like to be redeemed can be damaging to the already ill conceived perception of abuse victims that are anything but "perfect". We shouldn't shame abuse victims for doing bad things (Unless of course it's something REALLY horrible) but we should still hold them accountable in a safe and respectful manner. Especially since most of the time (at least in children), abuse victims do these bad things in order to protect themselves.

In my personal opinion, I don't think the things that Starscream did in s2 was purely due to his trauma—though I do think it may have influenced him in some way, because trauma tends to influence our decisions in life—but I don't think it's due to some sort of inherent evil within him. People doing bad things doesn't mean that they're born with an inherent evilness. Experience shapes us into who we are, external factors influences our mindsets, and sometimes we get into situations where it seems like we have no choice but to do something bad. (The best example of this I can think of right now is Magneto from X-Men: He wasn't born evil, but due to prejudice and trauma, he felt as if he had no choice but to become the villain.)

As I said, obviously trauma may have influenced Starscream's decisions but to tie every single decision he makes down to his abuser takes agency away from his character and makes it seem like as if he's nothing more than is trauma, which is NOT true. Time and time again across multiple continuities we can see that whether or not he experiences the same thing as es!starscream, he's still the same cunning and egoistical bastard he is because that's who he is!

Just because continuities like Earthspark brings more attention to his abusive relationship with Megatron doesn't mean that's his only characteristic. His decisions are still his own decisions and even if it's somewhat influenced by his trauma in any way it doesn't take away from the fact it's still his choice and in my opinion, to blame everything he does on his trauma feels honestly disrespectful as if victims cannot do anything that is unrelated to their abuser as well as the fact that it once again enforces that whole "Perfect Victim" narrative. Victims can be (for lack of a better word) "imperfect", and it's important that victims like Starscream is represented as much as victims that are perceived to be "perfect" are. Trauma and abuse is a complex topic and when handled appropriately, ALL victims should be represented. Not just those that fit into people's ideal expectations of what a victim should be.

There's also the fact that almost EVERY character in Earthspark or other tf continuities are technically also victims of different forms of abuse or other forms of trauma. Whether it be physically violent or emotionally damaging, so many other characters have been traumatised in various ways and it's not ONLY Starscream that has been abused by Megatron or in general.

As an example, Hashtag: I think when people hear Hashtag say "When bad things happen, it isn't always our fault" towards Starscream, they think it's directed solely towards Starscream and forget that it may have been also directed towards HERSELF. If I'm remembering the orders of things right, Hashtag has also went through a traumatising experience which has influenced her relationship with Starscream. She felt a sense of kinship within their trauma and when she says it's not a victim's fault, I got the sense that she wasn't saying that only to validate Starscream but also herself.

Hashtag has also experienced trauma—not as violent as Starscream's, but trauma nonetheless—and if Earthspark is truly claiming that being abused or traumatised is the victim's fault like es!starscream fans like to claim, then why is that sentiment not extended to Hashtag? Or if you want a more violent example, the Autobots, who have also technically been violently abused by the Decepticons during the war.

Earthspark, in my opinion, isn't villainising abuse victims or anyone who has experienced any kind of trauma in general, nor are they even villainising anyone in general. They teach children again and again that someone's actions is not an excuse to treat them badly, but it doesn't mean you can just LET them continue doing it either, especially when it harms you or others.

If you want an example of actual continuities that DOES justify abuse for "laughs" or because "they deserve it" then turn your attention towards Transformers: Prime. The treatment of Starscream's abuse is highly questionable there yet hardly anyone (Especially es!starscream fans, who I find to often be tfp fans) discusses it. Sure, it could be because it's a kids show. But Earthspark is also a kids show. So why are we justifying tfp's potrayal of abuse but not Earthspark—a show that actually does encourage you to respect victims and makes an attempt to validate victims trauma? (This isn't hate towards tfp or anyone that enjoys it btw. I too love tfp but I find the quality and writing there to be very questionable at times.)

Also, people who criticise Earthspark's handling of Starscream's trauma tend to claim that it influences abuse victims (typically children) to believe that it's their fault. I've spoken to a few of these people myself and how that in my opinion as a victim, I find how the show handled trauma—although not perfect—quite respectable and that the show makes it clear that characters like Starscream, as I said, shouldn't be disrespected just because of their choices, and that although the line may be a bit unclear at times, Earthspark does a decent job at clarifying that trauma isn't excuse for making harmful choices but it doesn't make you inherently evil either nor does your actions excuse being abused. When I brought this up however, they tend to.. brush off my opinion? And repeat the same things again. Which I quite frankly don't get because if you're that concerned about how abuse victims, especially child abuse victims, will perceive Starscream's characterisation, then why won't you take into account the perspective of an actual child abuse victim?

In my opinion—and not to generalise, it's just a personal observation—I think most Starscream fans honestly don't actually care about how his abuse is handled or about what real victims will think. They usually seem like they just want their favourite character to live out their ao3 "Starscream redemption" fanfics. Again, I don't mean to generalise but this is just something I see a lot of in es!starscream fans. I don't mind when people criticise a piece of media when it potrays a group of people in a harmful manner but like... it's kinda pointless if you don't take into account the actual group's perspective in question.

Another thing I'd like to mention; it's not exactly restricted to Starscream fans nor is it exactly about abuse but an issue I see in a lot of pieces of media is that people tend to forget that a individual character's story ≠ the general story plot. Sure a character's storyline may influence the plot and vice versa but it doesn't mean that the character's story IS the plot. When people say that Earthspark's story sucks just because Starscream's (or any other characters) personal plot was unsatisfactory to them, I can't help but question them because even if it IS bad, one bad character doesn't always make the ENTIRE general plot bad. Of course there are exceptions but in this case? I think Earthspark—with what little I've seen of it—is already MILES better compared to other continuities. Which is a strange thing for me to say because when it comes to Transformers—or more specifically, the animated adaptations—they tend to be less than stellar in terms of quality of animation or in storywriting, or sometimes both! Sure it's not perfect by any means and there are definitely a lot of things that are worth criticising, but neither are any of the other continuities and I hardly see them get any criticism. So then why is Earthspark singled out? (Honestly, I think I know why but I don't want to generalise everyone who dislikes Earthspark here.)

And for my final opinion: Some people say that Starscream's potrayal in s2 was too sudden compared to his characterisation in s1. Which... I respectfully disagree.

First off, Starscream BARELY had any screentime in s1. He was pretty much a side character until s2 and had very few screentime enough to draw a conclusion to his character.

People claim that his characterisation in s1 was a "set-up" for a redemption arc or that he already has been redeemed, purely due to the fact he was sympathetic and was nice to Hashtag. And I personally don't quite get that from both a literary standpoint and as a victim: victims can be sympathetic... and still do bad things. Shocking, I know. But just because Starscream was sympathetic and nice to Hashtag doesn't mean he was ever gonna be redeemed or already was redeemed. A redemption arc needs MUCH more than just a few moments of kindness or sympathy. Plus, his moments of kindness towards the Terrans/Hashtag was like... two episodes in comparison to his multiple episodes both in s1 and s2 in which it is setting up his eventual villainous actions AND his offscreen DECADES of destruction and violence against the Autobots and humans during the war. Just like how doing bad things doesn't make someone inherently evil, doing good things doesn't make him inherently nice or redeemed. And it makes much more such for him to not be redeemed because there's virtually no set up for a redemption arc in comparison to his story in s2.

Not to mention the fact that Hashtag is a child. Starscream isn't the type of person to suddenly forget about his trauma and his goals for a child he barely knows, especially a child associated with his abuser. It makes more sense that his "kindness" towards Hashtag was fuelled by his ego getting stroked at the fact that she believed him because I and many others similar to Starscream typically don't just completely forget about our trust issues because of kindness but rather because we feel validated when someone believes in our abuse and trauma and assures us that it's not our fault.

Plus, it makes less sense—in my personal opinion—when all those "Starscream Redemption" fanfics make him immediately flip a switch and suddenly become all nice and selfless simply because he joined the Autobots or whatever. Not to shit on the writers or anyone else who enjoy fanfics like these, I like them too. It's just from a literary standpoint as well as when considering his trauma, I highly doubt he's going to immediately change his entire ideals and perception simply because he bonds with a child or because he joins the Autobots. And in the case of Earthspark, I highly doubt he'd want to join the team that is allies with his abuser, or even just be nice to them. Megatron and the others aren't entitled to Starscream bending over backwards to becoming nice and good for them and neither should the Autobots and the others completely exempt Starscream from the consequences of his actions simply because he is a victim.

That's all my thoughts for now. Again, this isn't to shit on anyone who many have different opinions or just finds es!starscream's story unsatisfactory or anything. I just needed to rant about how the fandom treats Starscream and his abuse (or any fandom with any traumatised character in general) because honestly I'm sick of seeing his trauma being brought up only to infantilise him and take away the agency in his actions or to make fun of his trauma and insinuate that he "deserves" it (which is an awful thing to say, considering the fact real people experience such things). There's nothing wrong with having a different opinion than mine or anything, I just really needed to get this off my chest because I heavily relate to Starscream, especially es!starscream, but also as someone very interested in literature I can't help but need to rant both about the treatment of abuse victims in fandom and the lack of media literacy these days. Feel free to share your thoughts on this post, just keep it respectful.

[meowchela]

ok im not qualified enough to write up a guide on it or whatever (might do it anyway though bc autism) but i REALLY feel like a lot of lpstubers dont like the roblox game because they just. Dont get it??? like i'm a longtime roblox player and to me a lot of things about it are kinda obvious but i can definitely see how newcomers to the platform would be confused + the hype around lps coming back in general set expectations kinda high and kinda made people forget this is a kids brand so a lot of people got disappointed when they saw what the game really was

the games not bad though!!! like personally i'm able to find fun in it because of its simplicity....i like to play it while im on vc with friends as a sort of background thing and i feel like its one of those games thats best played a little bit each day

idk i just dont want people to dismiss the game outright because they dont understand it :( like i'll be the first to admit it doesnt explain things well but ive also seen people Ignore the tutorial right in front of them bc they want to get to the code without understanding what its even for. like if they just actually paid attention theres explanations for everything ppl are confused about. i dont even care if people like it or not once theyve played i just want them to Understand and then form opinions based on that instead of being like "i dont get this so its bad"

[chaos0pikachu]

As someone who was in fandom since like, the 4kids dub - then took a break and came back to the show years later - a lot of it has to do with a couple factors.

During the first go around when fandom was building out Sanji and Zoro were the only "hot" straw hats. That's not a knock on ppl shipping things for shallow hot reasons is gucci lord knows I've done it but like let's be real this was def a factor. Luffy wasn't "hot" and neither do/did ppl consider Ussop hot.

Sanji was more well rounded as a char than Luffy, this is a consequence of Oda's earlier storytelling. idk if this is an unpopular opinion or not but while I freaking ADORE the Romance Dawn trio the earlier chapters/episodes of One Piece are a bit thin and more straight forward action shounen. Zoro's backstory is pretty by-the-numbers, Luffy's backstory is also a mix of about him/about Shanks and not super fleshed out, Ussop is when we start to see a more fleshed out take on a backstory (but again naysayers say Ussop is ugly). Zoro's backstory is so tragedy free and mundane compared to other chars ppl are still convinced it's a fakeout and Kuina was secretly murdered by the World Government - r/onepiece is covered in these theories. Basically, when Sanji appeared he was a perfect "woobie"; thorough and tragic backstory, plus hot? Perfect woobie sad boi to project on and/or ship with (fandom loves shipping archetypes see migratory slash fandom for more on that)

Something that often happens in fandom is when a fandom has A Ship or The Fandom Ship (ie the big ship that seemingly the entire fandom ships) new fans will automatically gravitate towards that ship b/c it already has a built in community to interact with. I've seen this happen a lot with ships like Sterek (Teen Wolf) or Klance (Voltron). It's simply easier for new fans plus you have the Big Shipping Base coloring the perspective of new fans and how they'll see the media piece with pre-determined bias towards The Ship.

In more recent fandom discourse there's a lot of discouragement to ship Luffy with Zoro specifically b/c of the aroace handcanon for Luffy (which for some reason doesn't apply to luffy's most popular ship lawlu which has loads of explicit fic, doujin and fanart) not saying ppl can't headcanon luffy as aroace do your thing, spark your joy, just that I've seen this used as reason why you "can't/shouldn't" ship Luffy with Zoro in fanon

There's other factors involved, like fans liking the dynamic of enemies to lovers or rivals to lovers which with some flexibility zosan can fit. They do have some good moments in Wano that made me go "yeah I get it" but Wano started airing in 2019 and zosan has been The Ship for OP (western) fandom since the show starting airing in 1999.

In terms of OPLA there's also the intersection of Luffy being played by a visibly brown actor - when it comes to latin chars in media it's been my experience if they're light skinned they get exotified and hypersexualized (Poe from Star Wars, any char played by Pedro Pascal) and if they're Black or Brown they get desexualized and dismissed (Scott from Teen Wolf, Luffy from OPLA, Amaro from SVU). I think the exception I've seen is Lance from Voltron but his characterization in fandom was riddled with stereotypical issues that I don't even wanna get into.

This isn't like a ~callout~ or anything for zosan or any other ships mentioned or any specific headcanons what-have-you. I get why people ship zosan - sterek, klance, etc - and I so do not care if ppl ship this or that like it's all gucci

This is more a general discussion on fandom trends to explore the "why" of it's popularity and prominence in OP fandom from a fandom wizard of old.

So glad for your latest post about zosan because I started 1pc FULLY expecting to be bowled over by their interactions for how prevalent the ship is in the fandom and I’ve just….. been so confused about it… and wondering if I’m missing something…. like it’s not enemies to lovers, they’re not even rivals, they’re just like. Irritable coworkers who sometimes get in each other’s way…. Anyway ur so right about sansopp 🙏🙏

I didn't know ANYTHING about one piece when I watched opla (I didn't even know they were pirates) so I def didn't know about zsn. I walked away from the live action thinking 'damn the captain and first mate are NOT normal about each other' and 'luffy is sanji's little meow meow <3". I didn't even consider zoro and sanji as a dynamic outside of 'they're both trying to be the prettiest belle at the ball so that luffy will look at them'..... but I didn't really actively ship either. not even zolu (surprising I know)

upon learning about zsn I thought ok. this is clearly because I haven't watched the anime / read the manga. obviously there's something i'm missing. I read 400 chapters of the manga and am currently 450 episodes into the anime. there is obviously still something i'm missing because like you said, i'm seeing irritable coworkers. i'm not denying that they respect each other & care for each other as nakama but like...................like..................LIKE??

I'm never been a hate shipper, nor am I predisposed to ship things bc 'hot'. nothing against people who do obviously but my track record of otps is the exact opposite of the zsn dynamic. and going into the series not even knowing they were a popular ship. I have tried to see it (and obvi in the hate ship hot sex way I can see it) but other than that I have accepted that I will never get it. luffy x zoro & sanji x usopp on the other hand.....

[alasmydearatlas]

how i am feeling rn:

honestly like a woman

negative connotation

like i feel like we’re falling a little into the nag wife manchild husband trope

like were on that slope

Not totally there ofc

but that’s just what its giving

And its frustrating bc its a problem i thought we were better than but were not

And i feel like i’m not the problem this time

For once

But idk how to not be the problem

How do you hold someone else accountable for somth and not be a wicked bitch ab it

I just want more effort

From him

and effective effort like think it through

maturity

considering your actions and how they impact ppl around you

like i feel like consideration is beat into girls from birth

like oh honey don’t be too loud

and boys are just boys

and dismissed like oh hehe they’re just like that

ARGGGG woman dating a man thing

and its not just that

like its also us and our experiences

mental labor fs fs

its so frustrating waiting for someone to catch up all the time and its also frustrating to have to bite your tongue and accommodate all the time

and I’ve planned most of our recent dates and activities and etc

and ik school is stressful and change is stressful

but i’m not just a ball you can drop when things get hard

and also like take me serious when i say things

when i want to go home, i do

its hard to get up when someone is sleepy next to you

and you don’t care ab being late but i do

And when you aren’t helpful in me getting up it i feel super unsupportive and like i’m fighting my sleepies and your sleepies

so i’m doing twice the work for no reason

and when i want to go home or go to bed like please be supportive of that

sleep is hard for me! and that’s not smth u understand

i can’t just nap

i feel like fucking shit when i don’t sleep well

and then i’m resentful

also don’t come to the gym if you’re on angry mode

either get it to fucking gether

or go solo

gym together is fun

do demon shit on your own time where its not gonna ruin my mood

it is so damn jarring and then i just don’t want to be there and i don’t want to be there with you and i just check out and want to go home as soon as possible

i’m sick of fighting in the gym its so cringe

How i want things to go:

I want you to show more effort in like mature adult things and like considerate effort

not just like oh here i tried

like try to do it right

this isn’t completion credit

i just want to feel like you care enough about me and respect me enough to put in genuine effort

i want you to work on some of your habits now bc it takes a long time to change them

look up the science idc - its like roughly two months

you know how to cook and i want you to also be capable of making major food group meals

demonstrated independence

- look up recipes

- cleaning initiative

- cleaning stove and kitchen is great! more of that

- yes ik ur a boy but i’m not lowering my standards that’s just shitty for me, also maybe examine why boys aren’t as clean (bc its not expected, its not demonstrated, societal attitudes towards who’s job it is to do stuff)

- i want to to feel like equal partnership

- look for housing: proactive in developing criteria and getting familiar with the market and how things go

- just bc ur scared of your roommates doesn’t mean you wait days to do your dishes, like a little bit of face your uncomfortable-ness

- i want moving in together to be an upgrade for me (and for u but it already is)

[oh-no-boi]

its sort of.. eh? seeing the post abt like how figuring out ur identity to all the micro identities is uh individualistic and we should focus on what we have in common and stuff.... and i mean i agree

but its so weird bc i struggled with it and tried to dissect it all so much bc i felt like i didnt fit in with the ace community lol like it literally felt so isolating feeling like im ace but not emotionally connecting with what a lot of people were saying

im rly happy there are a lot more micro identites that are under asexuality and aromatism now and i can see myself in them better

finding the aces who wrote/drew porn, who also were facinated by sex, was just so comforting. and like there many of us, kinky aces are known as a thing now. i didnt see that when in high school, i saw more abt how oh aces dont want sex, and aros dont want relationships, and actually its so progressive to not want these things that even if u want them, u should not want them as a way to rebel. maybe that was a single post and many didnt feel this way but this *was* a pretty popular blog or at least it felt like it! and it fucked me up a bit lol

the day i did see a post of someone mentioning the same thing of like "oh daydreaming sex between ur ocs is hot but thats bc ur not in the equation and thats the only way u enjoy sex" with a name for the identity.. lol there were plenty of shitty replies that just diminished it as "lol no one cares abt ur sex fantasies, like we all have those, its not a sexuality/indentity" misunderstanding the frustration of like what it feels like to be into that and then left confused by not being turned on by like porn and actual human beings and just in relation to urself

i dont go by that micro identity, i dont need it anymore but teen me did

so i guess i just have a lot of emotion and stuff abt micro identities and figuring those out and feeling like ur not alone

i do just say im queer or gay and ace/aro spec these days, and of course trans nonbiney and also just dont rly care that much

i very much agree that a lot of shit gets used as gatekeeping and also pitting ppl against each other.. but i rly cant help but feel like sometimes it feels dismissive of figuring out wtf is going on with urself even if thats prob, u kno, not the point at all

idk i think when ur identity is complex and u feel so weirdly out if the loop of the rest, it matters a lot for self discovery.. but i guess with a focus in just what we have in common.. like i guess a bunch of this shouldnt have mattered if the focus from the start was just "oh yeah im queer and thats chill" but also like how do u seperate it from a journey of discovery of urself? even something like are u bi or just gay, does it matter? maybe not but it probably will to u.

u kno, its also funny but i feel like— well first i chilled out of sexuality bc i got all explorational and ?? with gender so mumy focus shifted— but a huge part of what helped me sort of figure out shit further is... masturbation haha and like please understand, im still a somewhat sex repulsed ace who has also been a bit sex/smut obsessed. it used to not make much sense in my mind, now maybe its still just as complicated but also eh simple enough. im still a kinky and smut obsessed little weirdo?, and im still sex repulsed and probably still wont end up having sex with anyone, i even look away from ppl kissing bc i find it gross, but heyyyy i also fucking love to jerk off 😏 and its all just been... thanks sex toys! bc the thing is, i still find it kinda gross, but also not as much now.. and also i cant do anything without sex toys bc i guess they give that distance my brain needs? but basically figuring this out and coming to be able to enjoy my body has also quieted the part of my brain that kept being curious abt sex and fully unsure if i could ever have it. im still not fully sure bc i feel like i can still change but its made me understand a lot more abt myself.

theres also still a lot im ?? abt.. my mind abt top surgery swings so wildly from yes to no, even like thoughts of micro dosing t is like yes i'd like to but also i like what i look like as well?? and as a friend kinda laughed at me, im most nervous abt facial hair, something that is not that hrd to deal with but im just ,,shaving 😱 lik3 buddy i havnt even shaved anything in years! (tho i used to hate armpit hair.. tho mainly i guess society 🙄 and now im.. ok with it but also yeah u prob wont catch me wearing a not tshirt in the summer lol)

..this post has gone nowhere

uh im gonna post bc i spend too long typing even tho i got a headache (tho hey the ice pack has helped! thanks google) but we can pretend i never did lol

[despairing-disaster]

Initial thoughts on ch 2 ep 1 (ik it’s early but I wanna lay out some stuff rn)

Listen, ppl all had their own opinions about the protag swap theory. Some thought it would happen, some thought it was stupid, I thought it was gonna be a temporary POV change in the first episode before Teruko got back to her regular girlbossing and whaddaya know, I was right!

On the topic of me being right though, I swear the only times I am right about things are when I can’t exactly explain why I think something, therefore I don’t ever say it because “that’s stupid,” but I feel like the motive as well as the delivery, both in the timing and the fallout, was something I could’ve seen coming. I dismissed the idea as too dramatic at some point, apparently forgetting that DRDT is the reality TV of fangans (but probably less scripted somehow).

I’m honestly pretty hyped about the motive though. I always thought that the canon equivalent in the first game was lacking in some ways, so seeing a fresh twist on a classic is always fun.

It also makes me wonder about the hidden quotes. Ik I talk abt these more than I reasonably probably should given they’re, uh, hidden, but in addition to what probably counts as more context for J’s quote, I’m also currently looking at Arei’s and Levi’s.

Levi talked a bit about his family and being disowned as well as how he feels he has to put effort into being nice, so a part of me wonders if there’s something he feels particularly guilty about in relation to his quote. His listed dislike is also unpredictable people and I figure that may be related as well.

But Arei’s seems more pertinent to me. She’s been nothing but an emotionally manipulative ass this whole time and now she has someone else’s dirty laundry and the full ability to air it if she so pleases, but idk what she’s gonna do with it. If her quote is relevant to something in this chapter in particular, she may decide on keeping it to herself. She obviously has a limited idea of how friendships really work, but maybe she has some decency when it comes to a situation like this.

Teruko’s commentary and leaning on the 4th wall as well as MonoTV’s incredibly (in)convenient incompetence is really only doing more to reinforce the idea in my mind that she knows way more than she’s letting on as well as a the fact that a lot of information about her is being withheld from the audience and we probably don’t have a complete look into her mind. Also, the phone. We have seen that phone before, just not in the killing game.

I feel like Arturo’s reaction to finding out J was related to a famous actress was... kind of what I expected it to be, but for all his preaching about physical beauty, he sure didn’t fuckin notice anything special about her until that exact moment, huh. Almost like he’s full of shit and just obsessed with fame and glamour as concepts.

It’s also really sweet to see Charles actually probably have more faith and hope coming out of the trial than going into it. And despite the tensions and him being turned down, him asking Teruko if she wants to explore with him is probably the most civil conversation they’ve had so far throughout the entire game. I think even if neither of them have a lot of faith in everyone else, they at least seem like they have less hard feelings towards each other. Like two siblings who grew up in a shitty household and always fought but start actually tolerating each other the moment they accept they were both victims even if they don’t really talk about it.

I’m fuckin scared to see my boy get woobified even more tho.

Oh! And a bit more on J’s quote actually. I wonder if her animosity towards her mom (and actors as a whole) was just wrought from the secondhand fame she never wanted or if her mother tried to force her into acting herself. Her dialogue in the FTEs that dropped last year at the very least indicate she had femininity forced upon her, but pushing a child into acting for more fame and fortune is a very special kind of fucking your kid up for the rest of their life and the horrible shit child actors and actresses are put through is becoming more and more discussed in an ever increasingly digital world.

But yeah. Mega hyped for this chapter, especially with the motive as I am, unfortunately, a sucker for hot, juicy goss