#so when ppl are being dismissive of it i just… idk i get a bit disheartened

[puppppppppy]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

[pisceanskies]

*bursts into tears* jorge rivera herrans is a brilliant songwriter one day you guys will understand!!!!!!

[glossypolaroidkisses]

hi my love!! im excited to see what ur blog will contain hehe omg im so ecstatic that u commented that ur interested in the whole right brained reader thing hehe i js want to know ur thoughts on the relationship dynamic of having a more humanitarian reader who likes english, arts everything that's quite opposite to what luigi is like!!

hihi!! omg I’m SO excited too!! i already feel so welcomed!! ok this is so fun, buckle in!! bear with me!!

since luigi seems to be so analytical and anal with his thought processes (like you mentioned), i can see him pre-relationship being a bit skeptical while getting to know you; just because that’s not how his brain works. at the start he’d ask you so many questions. you’d have so many conversations that would give him better insight into your mind, to make sure you’re not just in la la land all the time. it’s giving, waiting for 3rd or 4th date to talk politics?… no. 1st date we’re talking about thoughts on religion, the afterlife, etc.

also, that’s not an insult to right brained/artistic ppl, I’m one of them (if you couldn’t tell lol)! i’ve been perceived as dumb(er than others) because I’m so driven by creativity, english and the arts (NOT scientific or mathematical at all). It's only once someone gets to know me better, that they learn how intelligent I am. right brain thinkers are more likely to be dismissed or overlooked, imo!

someone like luigi may not have been too surrounded by many right brain thinkers let alone dated them, and he would be so curious about what goes on in your mind.

obviously, you do develop a relationship and the dynamic would be adorable. you balance each other out! there may be some minor situations and misunderstandings where his strict, logical, rational self isn’t sure where you’re coming from; but he always listens to you explain your POV, and does come around to understand it. he’s very open minded, esp when it comes to you!

he loves your brain. i mean, he’s so fascinated by it. you find art, beauty, creativity and meaning in things that he could’ve never perceived in such a way. both of your brains work in different ways that are both so important.

whether you come to him about a situation all pouty, or do the opposite, acting stubborn and silent about it until he picks up on your mood shift, coming over to help you.. he’ll have a solution. he’d drop anything to brainstorm a way to help you solve your problems. for luigi, because of his logical problem solving, the solution is usually simple for him to come up with. but then you’re standing there with stars in your eyes like ‘wow luigi😍❤️ i would’ve never come up with that🤩 thank you so much😩’ and he’s just there, giddy, bc you make him feel so smart and useful. he’s so happy when he can help you in any way.

there will probably be a lot of funny moments trying to make decisions together. you might want to decide based on gut feeling, or your emotions, but he’ll be so analytical; thinking of every detail. for example, buying furniture together. you might be like “omg! this couch is such a cute colour, matches the vibe of our apartment and it feels so soft!” and luigi would be like “uhm… yeah! cute! but… (pulls out tape measure) it isn’t the correct dimensions, the fabric isn’t stain resistant, the cushion covers aren’t removable, and it isn’t well reviewed online….😅🥸”

if he’s not with you, he’ll take photos of things he sees while out-and-about, maybe exploring, and send them to you. or!!! when he comes home, he’ll be all excited to show you stuff he took pictures of, wondering what your perspective on it would be, how you would interpret it. he’ll go through the pictures with you and just listen to you gush over something artsy or interpretive, like if he saw graffiti he thought you’d find cool, a quote from a book or painting at a museum. idk!

if he goes book shopping for his own yk NON fiction books, he’ll always come back with a book or two for you. he’ll get home, probably make some sort of joke like “i just chose the book that had the most colourful cover”, when in reality he spent time at the bookstore looking through the books, reading so many back covers to choose one that he knows you’ll genuinely enjoy. or, he’ll just buy a book he remembers you mentioning you wanted in passing. even if he wouldn’t enjoy reading it, he enjoys knowing it brings you joy. and if you talk to him about a book you’re reading/read, he’ll listen as if it’s his favourite genre.

me personally, idk if it’s the eldest daughter in me, but i LOVE being taken care of + i think he’d enjoy feeling helpful. like if i was drawing on an app on my ipad and it crashed or something, i’d go running to him for help.. with anything technology related (even if i had an idea of how i could fix it myself) like heyyy my lil compsci problem solver.. help pls😇

overall, i think this dynamic is so sweet as long as you can both embrace each others differences and find that harmony. he would add more structure to your life while appreciating your perspective, and you’d add more spontaneity, empathy & creativity to his!

also idk if i touched enough on this, but this dynamic is literally a humanitarian power couple. like fighting for what’s right, with his brain and your heart!! best of both worlds for a well rounded perspective!! mwhahaha

thank you so much for submitting that! oh my god that was so much fun I’m not insane i promise (maybe a lil hehehe) it is literally 7 am i am going to sleep now. i just started responding to that ask and couldn’t stop. aaa love it!!

i hope you liked it!! don’t be afraid to give feedback, anyone! i loooovee requests like these!! keep em coming!! mwah

[bitchin-tubs]

Complain time again tee hee but I’m just like UGHHHH talking genuinely to these ppl is SO hardddddd

With girl A, I spent almost a whole class lecture (friendly) debating with this one girl on why people medically diagnosed as psychopaths and sociopaths are not inherently dangerous, are not narcissistic by default and how ‘masking’ is not a form a manipulation. Her source for all of these… You. The Netflix show…

With girl B, I feel like she’s sooooo,,,, dismissive ?? Idk like I tried to introduce her to my friends once and she genuinely did not gaf. Like I said hi B this is C then she says hi to me and me only. Like my girl C is right here. But at the same time she’s always bringing me into her friend groups which is fine but I dont connect easily so most times I’m kinda just there SPECIALLY if it’s an all men group when I have specially told her I tend to be uncomfortable with men for “no” reason

I was having a conversation with girl A and the topic of autism was brought up, I told her that I think I may be low on the spectrum but there are some things I tend to relate to with autism behaviors, and considering opened up to me about her anxiety and how she had previously talked very openly abt diagnosis I thought maybe she’d get it. I know,,, self diagnosis (u are free to feel any type of way abt it) but idk I thought she’d have any type of nuanced comment about it but I should’ve known from the psychopath talk… I had told her that I find meeting new people very hard, I have difficulty talking to said people and I tend to be very restrictive about who I make a meaningful connection to. She said that my personality is and I quote “mamona” (jerk/snob/asshole ish) and completely dismissed my masking, overstimulation, 10 year old special interest, taking shit to literal and not understanding social cues or instructions as “just being different” yeah so I thought… yknow I might not have autism valid but idk I felt so ignored at that moment

Also don’t think I just unpack shit on her unannounced, we talk and convos play out as they usually do and since the topic was out I was like sometimes I wonder if I have it because of so and so plus she was unwinded with me before so it wasn’t impossible for us to talk abt personal stuff, even though we not so tight we are still close

Another thing I’m very bad at making friends, I think I mirror good enough to have nice interactions with people but not to the point they invite me to shit or talk to me outside of classes. Back when I was in my exchange program I was sharing a room with 3 swifties so I had to pretend to like Taylor swift so I wouldn’t feel singled out, I also watched the summer I turned pretty and witnessed these girls thirst over bad boy #2 when I thought the character was so shitty (the actor is good looking but I’m not attracted to him) and also would also unknowingly spend all-nighters on school nights (as in I didn’t know they were meant to be all-nighters) with them watching a movie I didn’t particularly like and see everyone thirsting over annoying man on screen (one of them was some straight outta wattpad step-sibling story ew, the other pride and prejudice IM SORRY YALL I DIDNT GET THE HYPE 😭 call me uncultured it’s okay

A and B are sólo also hardcore swifties and I can only be neutral abt her otherwise they get on my ass about it and saying I like Taylor swift or her music is too big of a lie even for me

I told girl A about this (or at least a bit) and she said that I should’ve just been me. Girl I can’t be me we were both witnessing a girl being actively bullied (tv show ass bullying they printed a picture of her and drew over it ugly, taped it to her dorm room. Still hurtful and bullying tho) I’m NOT about to ostracize myself

HOWEVERRR these are not my main friends, these are like the friends I made to not be lonely in these extra classes for an American 🦅🦅🦅 diploma. My close CLOSE friends are from my same career classes and they are so much more understanding and can interact more naturally with. So in my day to day I got good genuine friends by my side

I recognize that I can be perceiving these memories differently than how they actually happened, misinterpret their actions and just be in my feeling right now but idk I feel like I’m so difficult and constantly just have to comply with people in order to make others comfortable

[gold-rhine]

zhongchi, zhongven and zhongxiao (yeah I like zhongli lol)

i do not get zhongli\childe, like i was paying attention to them when i was replaying liyue and they literally barely look at each other during archon quest. like childe is dismissive about zhongli bc he's just an excuse to get close to funeral procedures and learn where gnosis is, and zhongli stands there just monologuing about quality of rocks. i don't know what the chemistry is supposed to be. mb if childe actually started being sus about zhongli's identity it would've given some interesting tension, but he didn't. idk. if this ship of two ppl not interacting qualifies for fin dom, then send me money, i can talk about rocks for a bit and then never interact with u again

zhongli and venti were kinda cute last year, ngl! like i don't see, idk a lot of burning passion or smth, but they have a very comfy dynamic where they know each other for so long and they share history of things that others who lived it are not alive anymore. two old geezers, just vibing in retirement, smoking weed and drinking osmanthus wine, doing little pranks on each other for fun. they should get together and invite cloud retainer just to get on her nerves. they can go hang out with humans and clown on them for enrichment too.

for zhongli and xiao idk, i mostly see them in family dynamic. esp bc hoyo is going hard for xiao\traveler and there we can see xiao acting smitten and flustered, and its v different from how he acts around zhongli.

[bogbees]

I was gonna go to bed but I think I came up with a soulmate au perfect for Matt n Gil 7:48 AM · Apr 20, 2020

so it goes like this: when you touch somebody, their mark appears in your palm. there's several placements you can have, like for family bonds (mother's will generally always be the first bond a person has), friendship, love, probably hatred idk

over time, when a person dies or the bond fades, the mark scars, becoming the abstract background for new relationships you make

so Matt n Gil are pretty much immortal in canon. not so much Gil anymore, but he's been around a long time, so his palms are probably scared to fuck with marks —

everywhere but the love area. sure, some friendships skittered around the area, but while he might hate soulmates with his old age, he's stupid ab the idea of true love.

it's kinda fucked him up a bit in the modern era lmao. been alive so long and yet here he is

so canon au would have Matt touch Gilbert first. he doesn't know who owns this mark, bc he doesn't pay attention, so he thinks it's some mortal and he's kinda sad ab it, bc it's big, at the very centre of his palm and those are like, Best Kind, but c'est la vie

(while Gilbert has been having the opposite problem, mortals finding their love in him lmao)

while Matt and Gil have no idea the other exists (well ish. Francis probably goes off ab the other to them all the time), Matt discovers love in mortals to patch up the horrid fact he never even got to meet The One. a couple marks scar a ring around his centre mark

until one day in like, the 60s, he notices "yo this never scarred. it's always been solid" and goes maniac with glee and relief and a weird sense of wasted mourning

Al finds it funny that no one picked up on that fact all this time. bc their family all has solid centre marks and their friend family marks are still pretty solid

some of Matt's lovers picked up on it, but he dismissed it as "I don't know who they are" and it's dismissed and they better make the best of what they have

Francis tells Gilbert ab the delightful news "oh Matieu never lost his soulmate after all!! he's immortal!" and Gilbert is like pained smile grumble "oh good for him!" while painfully recalling every conversation Francis had ab Matt's current so

he figures it makes sense but good god

they can't figure out who the fuck out of their entire group is Matt's so. Francis wants to hold an event bc he's dying to know, but Matt's like, "I thought they were dead for 500 years, I'm cool to find out naturally."

Arthur casts a divination after and he n Francis go nuts once they learn the truth of the matter. Francis drinks so much he needs his stomach pumped. Gilbert calls him, and just hearing his voice, Francis gets into a giggle fit, they don't talk for like, 4 years

over the next 40 years, Matt n Gil will Wonder ab the whole soulmate thing. Matt bc he can't imagine who it could be, and Gil bc he's like, sad he himself doesn't even have that clue that they're even out there

they properly meet in 2009, the whole pancake and maple syrup thing, but no one touches. they form a bond of course, mutual understanding of loneliness, turns out they're like two peas in a pod

Francis has no idea they even became friends until 2016. he peaks at the palms of their hands, and is delighted to see Gilbert's centre is finally marked

and it's not for another ten years that they realise they're each other's soul mate 😔 7:48 AM · Apr 20, 2020

actually that's a dumb ending, bc I was falling asleep 5:09 PM · Apr 20, 2020

new ending: Gilbert always touches the ppl he likes. pulls them in for hugs, slaps on the back, drags them off to do things. the first time he crashes at Matt's bc he thinks they're best buds, he slaps Matt across the back for being a goof

he is of course surprised by how solid Matt is, and wow his hand actually hurts, so he rubs at it and notices the mark. he short circuits.

Matt is like "dude you didn't break your hand did you? sorry oh my god lemme go get the first aid kit for a splint til we get to the hospital ah fuck"

and Gil is like "no no no I'm fine! don't worry about it! hah hah hah I'm gonna go nap I'm actually pretty tired, jet lag"

Matt thinks it's weird bc he was just do animated a moment ago, but shrugs it off, can't be too bad right?

only Gilbert doesn't pop up for dinner. doesn't come out of his room at all. matt's like "damn he must have been real tired," leaves him a note saying he's got leftovers in the fridge

but Gilbert is just going insane. the note didn't help bc it implies smth surely.

what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. so the dude Matt thought was dead for the last 500 years was him??? if they interacted back then, why didn't Gil touch him??? what the fuck Happened

Gil frantically texts everyone he knows. Liz, Antonio, Al, they all just congratulate him. His brother gives him a five paragraph lecture on being nice. Feli sends him a bunch of cute ideas on how to tell Matt. Roderick has him blocked.

Francis. Francis grins like a loon the moment he sees the text and calls Matt "mon garçon," he starts, "your heart is closer than you think" and Matt, tired of this old man's cryptic romantic bullshit hangs up sighing heavily

Al visits too. now he knows and he wants to play wingman. that's his brother damn it. so starts the most horrible wingman stunt. everyone is so uncomfortable. when it doesn't work, Al goes to sulk in his guest bedroom

"that was weird even for him" Matt laments. Gilbert, knowing full well what brought it on just cringes. how the fuck did ppl do this whole thing??

Matthew isn't like. bothered? at first he was curious to know if Gil got a mark for him, but after seeing he didn't get any new ones, he was resigned to their friendship not meaning anything. sure he had hoped but ugh, best not to think about it

and Gilbert is freaking out like "why isn't he questioning if they have each other's marks??" he knows ppl do that, he's done it himself! god knows they've been stuck to each other's hip this last month so why?!

so he decides to just ask. "hey did you get my mark?" "oh no, I never got it." and he fuckinh blanks.

then Matt brings up his hand, showing Gil his palm, and there in the dead centre is Gil's mark surrounded by a ring of love. "see," Matt says, "it's the same as when we first met."

Gil had seen Matt's palms a couple times before the revelation. he didn't think seeing it now would affect him much but boy, he's gone brain dead

Gilbert raises his own palm, "mine isn't," and he knows Matt knows he's never had a mark in the dead centre. but there's one now.

"oh," Matt goes, thinking ab all the ppl he and Gil have met over the month, "congratulations, I suppose we'll have to find out who it is…"

which makes Gil go crazy, "no, no, no, how did you—no, Matthew it's you." Matt stares at him like "are you off your rocker?" and Gil recounts the event that gave him the mark, and telling everyone asking for help and how Francis was no help at all

and Matt's like "Yo! Francis called me that evening, saying how my heart was closer than I thought. I thought that he was just drunk, but if…. Tabarnak!" pacing around the room suddenly speaking quick french

there are tears suddenly but he's not wailing, instead smiling wildly, "I thought you were dead!" and Gilbert grins back "I thought you didn't even exist!"

(and idk ab you but this last bit gets me grinning wildly bc Gilbert Will Die, and Matt is usually forgotten to the point he can go ghost. he he he)

so they like. just exist with each other being stupid ab how stupid it all is 8:05 PM · Apr 20, 2020

[toytulini]

Disclaimer im just processing some thoughts im not cancelling the show

have almost thoughts about how i find the like....narrative on here that if you have chronic "zebra" conditions youd want a doctor like House and wouldnt sue for malpractice bc at least youd have a doctor that cares about whats wrong with you but lets take it one step further. so often he does NOT give a shit about the patient and actively endangers them frequently with his god damn heoric era of medicine approach? non zero amount of times he gets a diagnosis but it comes too late, or he gets a diagnosis after their first wrong 3 guesses of the episode shut down the patients kidneys and they either have to get a transplant or they are just, doomed due to other preexisting conditions etc? idk. i know ppl are almost certainly exaggerating and just letting off steam about the very real failures of our current medical systems and the ableism baked in and All That Shit. i just think its weird how ppl romanticize House who STILL, FREQUENTLY, MULTIPLE EPISODES will actively dismiss shit in the exact way that is a problem in our current system, especially when hes being Forced Against His Will To See Clinic Parients, he loves to be dismissive as fuck of symptoms and if he was a real doctor i think he'd be fucking 50/50 on cases he Notices Something To Dig Into vs cases he dismisses as an Anxious Hysterical Woman Who Wants Attention, the only reason he's Right so frequently in his snap judgements is cos it reinforces the narrative. its like a crime drama that has the mastermind serial killer masterfully using "loopholes" and lawyering up all sneaky and dodging Justice and if only our poor little cop protags were allowed to do A TEENY BIT of Justified Police Brutality, they could Save Lives!

and like sometimes in the show they will have a patient die despite his efforts to narratively punish him. not to mention, i think its been at least mildly brought up and glossed over how much they absolutely do not think about insurance costs for these ppl for the insane amount of tests that find nothing and Wrong Medications To Force A Diagnosis they use? i think it was brought up once in the episode following a day in the life of cuddy where she had to fight a lawsuit bc a guys insurance like didnt cover his thumb being reattached but chase reattached it anyway while in surgery cos it was The Right Thing To Do and the guy didnt have the money to cover it and the insurance wouldnt pay unless he sued the hospital or whatever. thats like the only time its come up. whereas like frequently the doctor I go to for osteopathic manipulation tries to check in with me and make sure im covered by insurance etc and that im not going to go broke or get buried in medical debt seeing her.

idk. just some Thoughts. not a defense of our current system and all the flaws it enables and enforces etc. his approach to medicine is really reminiscent to me of what I know of the Heroic Era Of Medicine which i dont...love? and hes framed on here as being an asshole but would kill for his patients to get them a diagnosis etc. but hes definitely extremely paternalistic to patients ? and despite some good clippable lines about ableism and being against eugenics, it honestly feels like his stance on that is kind of a toss up.

[koscheicore]

Rant about invisible illnesses, people's asshole behaviours, professional erasure, ableism etcetc + a bit of personal stuff

Yesterday I kind of... started crying bcs I was reading on fibromyalgia. I have read about it before several times, not only because it's plausible I could have that - or something with similar symptoms - but also because I just like to read on these things, and how people experience them.

However, what got me crying wasn't really the possibility of having it, the lack of explanation so far for my pain, but rather how many people affirm they don't get proper care for it, how many professionals believe it's not even real, how their pain is erased because it's not visible. How they're told they're too young to be feeling it, if they are young, and that's it, often refusing to look for any causes it's a years long battle to even get minimal help for it and then, when the pain gets unbearable it's not enough for the ER. People with fibro, and many other invisible illnesses, are thrown under the bus constantly. And it fucking sucks.

Today I talked about it a bit, and how idk where my pain stems from, and someone decided to tell me that they've heard fibro isn't even real. To all I said abt my pain, that's what they said.

Idk if I have it, but I don't need to have it, to have felt a deep sting as they said that. How I remember also how ppl irl around me genuinely believed widely that ADHD wasn't real in the early 2000s, too. And would tell that to people with a diagnosis even, upon learning they had it. What's the need? What do they get out of that? They read it somewhere and felt the need to say it, without any further research? Idk. Shit like this really hurts, even if it's something I'm not affected by or have the possibility to be, it really fucking hurts, because that's how people end up not having appropriate help and going through constant living hell.

It's definitely hurt me more to not be believed about my mental illnesses than to live with them. To try to reach out just to be dismissed, by friends I trusted, by family members, and fucking hell, by professional after professional. When people listen, and try to understand, even if they don't know how to support you, that's important, that helps. And that's when I started managing better, when people listened. Doesn't mean my issues got better, just that I was more willing to take care of myself, to try and get better or at least make things easier for myself.

Telling someone it's not real, that's just helping them blame themselves, think it's their fault, internalise self-hatred and feelings of worthlessness because well, if it's not real they shouldn't be struggling yeah? They shouldn't be complaining, they don't deserve help because it doesn't exist in the right place, yeah? That's what you're implying when you say it's not real. That's how you deter people from seeking help, even self-help if professional help isn't available (or they don't want to give it to you because let's face it. often they don't.)

And that's also why it's taken me so long to say anything about my pain to doctors, because well, I have been told I'm too young, too. And I'm tired. I'm not a good advocate to myself when it comes to getting help, because I'm just used to being dismissed, and it's tiring to fight, it's easier to swallow it up and keep living in the same struggle than to try to get help only to end up crying because you won't get it bcs incompetent so-called professionals. To lose friendships because of it too.

Idk. Just kinda had to get that out, I guess. Anyways, I have medical tests this month, so let's see how that goes.

[despairing-disaster]

Initial thoughts on ch 2 ep 1 (ik it’s early but I wanna lay out some stuff rn)

Listen, ppl all had their own opinions about the protag swap theory. Some thought it would happen, some thought it was stupid, I thought it was gonna be a temporary POV change in the first episode before Teruko got back to her regular girlbossing and whaddaya know, I was right!

On the topic of me being right though, I swear the only times I am right about things are when I can’t exactly explain why I think something, therefore I don’t ever say it because “that’s stupid,” but I feel like the motive as well as the delivery, both in the timing and the fallout, was something I could’ve seen coming. I dismissed the idea as too dramatic at some point, apparently forgetting that DRDT is the reality TV of fangans (but probably less scripted somehow).

I’m honestly pretty hyped about the motive though. I always thought that the canon equivalent in the first game was lacking in some ways, so seeing a fresh twist on a classic is always fun.

It also makes me wonder about the hidden quotes. Ik I talk abt these more than I reasonably probably should given they’re, uh, hidden, but in addition to what probably counts as more context for J’s quote, I’m also currently looking at Arei’s and Levi’s.

Levi talked a bit about his family and being disowned as well as how he feels he has to put effort into being nice, so a part of me wonders if there’s something he feels particularly guilty about in relation to his quote. His listed dislike is also unpredictable people and I figure that may be related as well.

But Arei’s seems more pertinent to me. She’s been nothing but an emotionally manipulative ass this whole time and now she has someone else’s dirty laundry and the full ability to air it if she so pleases, but idk what she’s gonna do with it. If her quote is relevant to something in this chapter in particular, she may decide on keeping it to herself. She obviously has a limited idea of how friendships really work, but maybe she has some decency when it comes to a situation like this.

Teruko’s commentary and leaning on the 4th wall as well as MonoTV’s incredibly (in)convenient incompetence is really only doing more to reinforce the idea in my mind that she knows way more than she’s letting on as well as a the fact that a lot of information about her is being withheld from the audience and we probably don’t have a complete look into her mind. Also, the phone. We have seen that phone before, just not in the killing game.

I feel like Arturo’s reaction to finding out J was related to a famous actress was... kind of what I expected it to be, but for all his preaching about physical beauty, he sure didn’t fuckin notice anything special about her until that exact moment, huh. Almost like he’s full of shit and just obsessed with fame and glamour as concepts.

It’s also really sweet to see Charles actually probably have more faith and hope coming out of the trial than going into it. And despite the tensions and him being turned down, him asking Teruko if she wants to explore with him is probably the most civil conversation they’ve had so far throughout the entire game. I think even if neither of them have a lot of faith in everyone else, they at least seem like they have less hard feelings towards each other. Like two siblings who grew up in a shitty household and always fought but start actually tolerating each other the moment they accept they were both victims even if they don’t really talk about it.

I’m fuckin scared to see my boy get woobified even more tho.

Oh! And a bit more on J’s quote actually. I wonder if her animosity towards her mom (and actors as a whole) was just wrought from the secondhand fame she never wanted or if her mother tried to force her into acting herself. Her dialogue in the FTEs that dropped last year at the very least indicate she had femininity forced upon her, but pushing a child into acting for more fame and fortune is a very special kind of fucking your kid up for the rest of their life and the horrible shit child actors and actresses are put through is becoming more and more discussed in an ever increasingly digital world.

But yeah. Mega hyped for this chapter, especially with the motive as I am, unfortunately, a sucker for hot, juicy goss

[minipisi-is-dumb]

man I FINALLY WATCHED BARBIE LET'S GOOOOO

I liked it a lot and it was very very funny

Ken was one of my favorite parts too he's very funny and relatable

I need to get this lil rant out of my chest sorry lol

Idk how to explain this in WORDS but it feels just how it is to be transmasc and fall into sexist circles even when you know how marginalization feels because of that same system

like it's a very simple story but there's like a semi running joke that kens in barbieland are treated like women/femme ppl irl. and ken finds himself sticking out from that formula even before barbie, there's a sort of performance in his "pre-work" ken to adjust to what it means to Be ken

like he "accepts" that he's nothing without barbie but it's all conscious, like it's something he found out and mimics consciously even when no other ken ever showed those feelings of insecurity and feeling left to a side or as an accessory to barbie like it's an active role they have to put effort in

Kens are the archetype of Ken by default while OUR ken has to put double effort in everything just to even reach that level that is expected from him. even with that performance going as far as to affect how he interacts with barbie, looking out for her approval and all that stuff. there's a level of performance in it that other kens do not need to go through

so when he gets to the real world and finds that he is seen in a better light that barbie for just being himself, he finds that the way to drown his insecurities with patriarchal thinking, he believes that THAT way he won't have to keep up the "&ken" performance that the barbie world imposes

but he finds out that oops!! patriarchy inherently requires performance of masculinity!!!! you're not saved there either!!!!!!!

blablabla the rest of the movie goes on, and while I expected some joke like "but the patriarchy manual tells me crying is lame" I do like that ken recognized it or something, the dialogue in the scene between barbie and ken does feel a bit chunky but you get the general stuff of what's happening there lol

I do think that barbie went through an arc about performance too, and I generally think that the movie gives a message about the whole concept of reducing yourself to the ken or barbie//man or woman as the basis for your value as a person is not the best BUT!!!!! I do wish at least gender non conformity is recognized as something that could have had an effect in the story

the closest thing to gender non conformity is Alan and the weird barbie, but uh I don't count them bc Alan is forever dismissed as not ken but also not barbie so lol why bother and the weird barbie is eventually still seen as weird regardless of anything she's done or said or whatever

i think this is not fully coherent BUT i just got home gimme a break

the costumes and soundtrack n all that jazz was neat 10/10 would watch again just bc of how cool it looks mannn

I do think that the way the corporations are handled is truly A Way but not a good one but I really just wanted to talk abt Ken for a sec he's so fucking relatable I'm sorryyyyyyyyyyyyy

[robotpussy]

hi i wasn't trying to be snarky sorry! i'm genuinely confused abt why reblogging a blazed post is bad (depending on the content ofc) i joined tumblr like 4 months ago and ive been inactive for most of it cause i had exams. i get if u dont want to talk about it sorry! and for sure NOT unfollowing you are you kidding??? one of my fav blogs

i just know for me that i dont like blazed posts or any function on here that requires you give tumblr money considering how poorly they treat the black users and trans users and their dismissive attitude towards terfs and literal pedophiles, fascists and nazis on here. they also talked credit for so many memes created on here and are attempting to make money off it through merch without compensating the original creators of them. its also just annoying being bombarded with posts that i dont care about, most of the time it being fandom drama or fanfiction. tumblr deserves no money whatsoever, not when the user experience on here is one of the worst.

and i just made the post because many ppl that follow me/i follow have also expressed their disdain for blaze so its just a bit odd seeing them now reblog posts that were blazed. in an ask i answered before, i know some people arent aware some posts they come across are blazed but idk its just weird

[c0rpseductor]

saw ppl discussing this book called a little life on twitter bc apparently people are making tiktoks of themselves crying about this book & looked up the synopsis and like. i mean maybe in full it’s more profound and it’s like the experience of reading it that holds a more nuanced message, but simply reading a summary of the plotline it’s a bit challenging for me to not want to dismiss it as more or less a fairly intellectualized sort of trauma porn. actually, it’s especially difficult with some of the author’s comments.

i think like. i don’t want to make any sweeping statements about a novel i have not read and will not read, but it does kind of hit on something i’ve talked about here and still turn over in my mind a lot where like. i do feel like there is a sort of appetite for trauma and a voyeuristic tendency in many people, and within fiction this can be satisfied. i also think people tend to spare a great deal of sympathy and compassion for fictional survivors of extreme trauma that they don’t really have for the same demographic in real life. (fandom is particularly bad with this, in that there’s a really pervasive hunger for extremely traumatized characters, but real life survivors who try to speak about feeling hurt by these trends and behaviors get totally pilloried and mocked.)

i think that’s honestly part of why the whole thing bothers me. the amount of trauma the protagonist of this novel went through isn’t necessarily, like, impossible. real people can often suffer a great deal. and like, he’s fictional, so he’s not hurt by people being voyeuristic toward him. but with characters like this where their sole purpose is to suffer for the audience and steadily decline until their deaths, and everybody cries and it’s so sad and profound, it’s like. Why? Who does this really help? what message is this supposed to send, exactly? people with fucked up pasts can continue to live, actually, and as part of that demographic i’m actually a little sick of people making a big show of crying over depictions of this sort of suffering and then studiously ignoring when it’s happening right in front of them and when people they know in reality are trying to cope with the very same issues. you know? like i am getting kind of fucking bitter that people pat themselves on the back about like “oh poor astarion from bg3” “poor saki from emergence (ew, btw)” “poor jude from a little life” so on and so forth but then look at real life victims of severe violence and just feel disgust and discomfort and turn away or victim blame. it’s actually pretty transparent when people’s “sympathy” is more about propping up an internal sense of virtue than about any true concern that other people are suffering.

i guess it’s good that it has a lot of positive reception from critics and is specifically stated to be “not misery porn” but idk im starting to feel like maybe my definition of that term is different than other people’s just bc i really find the voyeurism exhausting and tend to despise anything with a huge audience of really blatant voyeurs. but maybe that’s not fair to the novel. Well, whatever

[mithliya]

idk which ex ur talking about in that "insane things my ex has done" but i relate bcuz i am currently in a relationship with a gendie who has started saying recently that my aversion to male genitalia is incredibly transphobic even though she knows i have been sexually assaulted many times by men (and am and always have been a lesbian lol) (also sorry if this is inappropriate but i feel like i have no one else to confide in.)

im not sure where i talked about her but i can tell from what u said which ex i was talking about lool its my 1st gf and i never rly talked fully about this bc my ex has since transitioned (only socially tho afaik) & continued to be questionable as fuck in various ways and went from friendly w me to shit talking me bc how dare i share my opinions on my blog which she decided to keep regularly checking for years after our break up despite her having a gf and us hardly ever talking (partially bc of me bc frankly in hindsight i was far too forgiving n despite that she demonised me at the end of our relationship n was weird in various moments after we remained friends)

but she was (& is) also a gendie, which is fine bc when we were together she wasnt like irrational about it. she was the one who told me that SRS doesnt work the way i thought it did, like the genitals didnt magically change and there arent like no differences like i thought, instead she said the differences were obvious. but near the end of our relationship she insisted to me that the way to fix her issues was to make our relationship an open relationship, said that my body made her insecure about her own body n she should sleep w people with a similar body to gain confidence in it. prior to that i was not for an open relationship at all but those comments made me feel like saying no would make me selfish and that if thats what she needs to accept herself then fine yanno. then ofc not soon after she starts e-dating this trans woman who is an abusive creep & rapist (like not even exaggerating here. but ofc those accusations were dismissed for a while bc the trans woman called the woman who came out about the abuse a terf n ppl believed that until trans women also began to call this out). i was like um hows dating someone with a diff body than u and even a diff sex going to make u feel better about ur body when thats the entire reason for the open relationship? never rly got a proper answer but whatever i let it be. then that trans woman wanted to be in a throuple with us basically like wanted to get with me and my ex and would openly fantasise about me to my ex. my ex said "oh she wouldnt be into that, shes not into penises" and the trans woman was like omg why.. :( and my ex was like oh shes penis-repulsed etc and the trans woman was like aw how sad i hope she gets help for that!! n my ex agreed. then my ex told me about this n i was like... what the fuck? it took me a bit but after a few days i was like hey this comment really pissed me off wtf do u mean gets help for that.. and my ex was saying that i should seek therapy to stop being penis-repulsed and should see trans women as women and be open to trans women in a romantic & sexual way basically and i was clearly upset by that n i was like. ur telling me to seek conversion therapy. n she was like nooo and i was like what so u mean some kind of exposure therapy against the "phobia" of penises? and she was like yeah just like that! n i said... thats literally a form of conversion therapy that was done in the past to other gay ppl.. exposing gay ppl to the opposite sex's genitals to try to change their feelings towards it is literally a conversion therapy tactic.

anyways my ex n i ultimately broke up bc it turned out the open relationship was meant to be one-sided somehow and her doing things was ok but if i did things it made me a cheater somehow and my comfort was repeatedly disregarded, i didnt like that trans woman at all at that point n my ex would still keep dating them n it was just all too many bad things at once so i was like fuck it im done w this. ultimately my ex realised that this trans woman is indeed an abuser and i also realised the my 2nd gf who i got with soon after i broke up w my ex is also an abuser. but then when my ex began to transition she started to show more of that homophobia she showed during our relationship like saying the f-slur (calling ppl that) and saying its ok bc "im a bisexual man" which was just.........erm... anyways in the end our last form of communication was her getting her friends to gang up on me for ~ruining the fun~ of a game of among us and then she talked shit about me to one of my close friends (been friends for 14 years) who she never even met and was like ~omg shes so problematic im sorry i just cant handle it anymore~ ......

anyways i feel u lmao. its not inappropriate dont worry and im sorry u went thru that too bc its painful to love someone as they are and yet they basically tell u that ur lesbianism means something is wrong w u bc ur truly not into males at all. honestly i think its best for u to end it asap instead of making the mistake i did, nothing good came out of it for me and i shouldve left for good at the first red flag which was my ex's compulsive lying about serious issues like rape & fgm, or immediately ended it when she was saying that i should go thru conversion therapy otherwise im transphobic

[chaos0pikachu]

As someone who was in fandom since like, the 4kids dub - then took a break and came back to the show years later - a lot of it has to do with a couple factors.

During the first go around when fandom was building out Sanji and Zoro were the only "hot" straw hats. That's not a knock on ppl shipping things for shallow hot reasons is gucci lord knows I've done it but like let's be real this was def a factor. Luffy wasn't "hot" and neither do/did ppl consider Ussop hot.

Sanji was more well rounded as a char than Luffy, this is a consequence of Oda's earlier storytelling. idk if this is an unpopular opinion or not but while I freaking ADORE the Romance Dawn trio the earlier chapters/episodes of One Piece are a bit thin and more straight forward action shounen. Zoro's backstory is pretty by-the-numbers, Luffy's backstory is also a mix of about him/about Shanks and not super fleshed out, Ussop is when we start to see a more fleshed out take on a backstory (but again naysayers say Ussop is ugly). Zoro's backstory is so tragedy free and mundane compared to other chars ppl are still convinced it's a fakeout and Kuina was secretly murdered by the World Government - r/onepiece is covered in these theories. Basically, when Sanji appeared he was a perfect "woobie"; thorough and tragic backstory, plus hot? Perfect woobie sad boi to project on and/or ship with (fandom loves shipping archetypes see migratory slash fandom for more on that)

Something that often happens in fandom is when a fandom has A Ship or The Fandom Ship (ie the big ship that seemingly the entire fandom ships) new fans will automatically gravitate towards that ship b/c it already has a built in community to interact with. I've seen this happen a lot with ships like Sterek (Teen Wolf) or Klance (Voltron). It's simply easier for new fans plus you have the Big Shipping Base coloring the perspective of new fans and how they'll see the media piece with pre-determined bias towards The Ship.

In more recent fandom discourse there's a lot of discouragement to ship Luffy with Zoro specifically b/c of the aroace handcanon for Luffy (which for some reason doesn't apply to luffy's most popular ship lawlu which has loads of explicit fic, doujin and fanart) not saying ppl can't headcanon luffy as aroace do your thing, spark your joy, just that I've seen this used as reason why you "can't/shouldn't" ship Luffy with Zoro in fanon

There's other factors involved, like fans liking the dynamic of enemies to lovers or rivals to lovers which with some flexibility zosan can fit. They do have some good moments in Wano that made me go "yeah I get it" but Wano started airing in 2019 and zosan has been The Ship for OP (western) fandom since the show starting airing in 1999.

In terms of OPLA there's also the intersection of Luffy being played by a visibly brown actor - when it comes to latin chars in media it's been my experience if they're light skinned they get exotified and hypersexualized (Poe from Star Wars, any char played by Pedro Pascal) and if they're Black or Brown they get desexualized and dismissed (Scott from Teen Wolf, Luffy from OPLA, Amaro from SVU). I think the exception I've seen is Lance from Voltron but his characterization in fandom was riddled with stereotypical issues that I don't even wanna get into.

This isn't like a ~callout~ or anything for zosan or any other ships mentioned or any specific headcanons what-have-you. I get why people ship zosan - sterek, klance, etc - and I so do not care if ppl ship this or that like it's all gucci

This is more a general discussion on fandom trends to explore the "why" of it's popularity and prominence in OP fandom from a fandom wizard of old.

So glad for your latest post about zosan because I started 1pc FULLY expecting to be bowled over by their interactions for how prevalent the ship is in the fandom and I’ve just….. been so confused about it… and wondering if I’m missing something…. like it’s not enemies to lovers, they’re not even rivals, they’re just like. Irritable coworkers who sometimes get in each other’s way…. Anyway ur so right about sansopp 🙏🙏

I didn't know ANYTHING about one piece when I watched opla (I didn't even know they were pirates) so I def didn't know about zsn. I walked away from the live action thinking 'damn the captain and first mate are NOT normal about each other' and 'luffy is sanji's little meow meow <3". I didn't even consider zoro and sanji as a dynamic outside of 'they're both trying to be the prettiest belle at the ball so that luffy will look at them'..... but I didn't really actively ship either. not even zolu (surprising I know)

upon learning about zsn I thought ok. this is clearly because I haven't watched the anime / read the manga. obviously there's something i'm missing. I read 400 chapters of the manga and am currently 450 episodes into the anime. there is obviously still something i'm missing because like you said, i'm seeing irritable coworkers. i'm not denying that they respect each other & care for each other as nakama but like...................like..................LIKE??

I'm never been a hate shipper, nor am I predisposed to ship things bc 'hot'. nothing against people who do obviously but my track record of otps is the exact opposite of the zsn dynamic. and going into the series not even knowing they were a popular ship. I have tried to see it (and obvi in the hate ship hot sex way I can see it) but other than that I have accepted that I will never get it. luffy x zoro & sanji x usopp on the other hand.....

[meowchela]

ok im not qualified enough to write up a guide on it or whatever (might do it anyway though bc autism) but i REALLY feel like a lot of lpstubers dont like the roblox game because they just. Dont get it??? like i'm a longtime roblox player and to me a lot of things about it are kinda obvious but i can definitely see how newcomers to the platform would be confused + the hype around lps coming back in general set expectations kinda high and kinda made people forget this is a kids brand so a lot of people got disappointed when they saw what the game really was

the games not bad though!!! like personally i'm able to find fun in it because of its simplicity....i like to play it while im on vc with friends as a sort of background thing and i feel like its one of those games thats best played a little bit each day

idk i just dont want people to dismiss the game outright because they dont understand it :( like i'll be the first to admit it doesnt explain things well but ive also seen people Ignore the tutorial right in front of them bc they want to get to the code without understanding what its even for. like if they just actually paid attention theres explanations for everything ppl are confused about. i dont even care if people like it or not once theyve played i just want them to Understand and then form opinions based on that instead of being like "i dont get this so its bad"

[alasmydearatlas]

how i am feeling rn:

honestly like a woman

negative connotation

like i feel like we’re falling a little into the nag wife manchild husband trope

like were on that slope

Not totally there ofc

but that’s just what its giving

And its frustrating bc its a problem i thought we were better than but were not

And i feel like i’m not the problem this time

For once

But idk how to not be the problem

How do you hold someone else accountable for somth and not be a wicked bitch ab it

I just want more effort

From him

and effective effort like think it through

maturity

considering your actions and how they impact ppl around you

like i feel like consideration is beat into girls from birth

like oh honey don’t be too loud

and boys are just boys

and dismissed like oh hehe they’re just like that

ARGGGG woman dating a man thing

and its not just that

like its also us and our experiences

mental labor fs fs

its so frustrating waiting for someone to catch up all the time and its also frustrating to have to bite your tongue and accommodate all the time

and I’ve planned most of our recent dates and activities and etc

and ik school is stressful and change is stressful

but i’m not just a ball you can drop when things get hard

and also like take me serious when i say things

when i want to go home, i do

its hard to get up when someone is sleepy next to you

and you don’t care ab being late but i do

And when you aren’t helpful in me getting up it i feel super unsupportive and like i’m fighting my sleepies and your sleepies

so i’m doing twice the work for no reason

and when i want to go home or go to bed like please be supportive of that

sleep is hard for me! and that’s not smth u understand

i can’t just nap

i feel like fucking shit when i don’t sleep well

and then i’m resentful

also don’t come to the gym if you’re on angry mode

either get it to fucking gether

or go solo

gym together is fun

do demon shit on your own time where its not gonna ruin my mood

it is so damn jarring and then i just don’t want to be there and i don’t want to be there with you and i just check out and want to go home as soon as possible

i’m sick of fighting in the gym its so cringe

How i want things to go:

I want you to show more effort in like mature adult things and like considerate effort

not just like oh here i tried

like try to do it right

this isn’t completion credit

i just want to feel like you care enough about me and respect me enough to put in genuine effort

i want you to work on some of your habits now bc it takes a long time to change them

look up the science idc - its like roughly two months

you know how to cook and i want you to also be capable of making major food group meals

demonstrated independence

- look up recipes

- cleaning initiative

- cleaning stove and kitchen is great! more of that

- yes ik ur a boy but i’m not lowering my standards that’s just shitty for me, also maybe examine why boys aren’t as clean (bc its not expected, its not demonstrated, societal attitudes towards who’s job it is to do stuff)

- i want to to feel like equal partnership

- look for housing: proactive in developing criteria and getting familiar with the market and how things go

- just bc ur scared of your roommates doesn’t mean you wait days to do your dishes, like a little bit of face your uncomfortable-ness

- i want moving in together to be an upgrade for me (and for u but it already is)